They’re running down the hallway towards the dorms, chasing each other like children in a rare moment of freedom. Laugher bubbles from their lips as they turn around the next corner. They still for a moment, slowing, their faces becoming stoic for just a second before they realize they’re still alone in the corridor and the laughter comes back again, even brighter than before.
They’re giddy as they push open Alec’s door, fumbling inside and shutting it firmly behind them, locking it in more ways than one just to make absolutely sure no one will interrupt them. The thought of someone finding them is horrifying, it’s incomprehensible but they don’t think of that now. They both try not too, at least.
The Institute is empty this week, more or less. Alec’s parents and his sibling are away in Idris. He’d managed to stay behind, saying something about training, something about studying without being bothered. The real reason Alec stayed is for this, for him. They don’t get moments like this often and Alec wasn’t going to spend the week surrounded by Clave members, not when he could be here.
They fall back onto the bed, still fully dressed. Underhill falls on top of him in a familiar elbows to skin kind of way, their bodies clashing in a way that would have been awkward, even painful if they hadn’t been so comfortable with it. They’re almost frantic as they grab each other but they’re not anxious to get it over with. It’s simply the fact that they get to do this at all. It’s the thrill of being together even despite it all.
They’re careful. They’re so careful. They don’t even look at each other outside of their bedrooms, let alone talk, sit together. Outside, they’re complete strangers. They’re coworkers, occasionally they’re put on a mission together or they share a few words, work only. They’re brothers in arms and nothing else but here? In here, they know in each other better than anyone else. In this room only, they know everything about each other. Everything that seemed to matter to two hormonal teenagers anyway.
Their lips find each others, laughing sloppily into the touch, neither of them too bothered as their teeth connect as they each fumble to try and undress without separating: fingers pulling on shirts, hands finding belts and tugging without really accomplishing anything. Underhill sits up finally, when both their lips are red and glistening and their breath has left them. He kicks his shoes off the edge of the bed and sits back on Alec’s legs, tugging at his boots until they too fall to the floor among his. Alec pulls his shirt over his head, his world nothing but light through the gray cotton. When he reemerges, Underhill’s chest is bare as well and he’s pulling Alec’s belt from his body.
They fall together again, too impatient to worry about their pants right now. They don't have to rush today, like they normally do. Neither of them really have anything to do for the rest of the evening, no one to expect them anywhere, no one was even around to notice they were missing. It’s was a rare indulgence that they couldn’t help but revel in.
Underhill’s hands are in Alec’s hair, pulling on the dark threads he’d let grow just a little bit too long. Everything is lips and teeth, his tongue, even his spit in his mouth. They’re rough, almost animalistic but they’re taking their time under it all. They normally just walk in and strip before they even touch each other. It’s a subtle difference but one Alec realizes he likes. It feels more personal like this. It feels like it’s something more than it is.
They part again, finally sitting up and fumbling to pull their pants off. Alec knows he’s hard. He always is when they get to this part but he can’t even glance down at himself to see just how desperate he looks because all his attention is on the fact that Underhill is pulling his cock out from his pants, toying with it slowly as he pulls them down. He’s always been better at putting on a show than Alec has.
His cock was the first ones Alec had ever seen, the first one anyone had shown him on purpose anyway. Alec knew that it would probably be the last as well. They had found each other, somehow. Beyond all odds, they had found each other and they both knew that if something happened, if they stopped or if one of them was transferred or if-
Well, that would be the end of it. There would be no one else, no man anyway. They had been stupid and foolish the first time, pent up on hormones, risking it hoping the other felt the same way. It had worked out, clearly but the odds of it working out a second time were slim. They were older now. Smarter. The ever-looming threat of being caught, of being de-runed and cast out, it hung over them always. Neither of them would be stupid enough to risk it again.
They were probably all they would ever have and they were determined to enjoy it as long as they would be allowed. Besides, Alec had gotten pretty lucky. He wasn’t sure if he loved Underhill but Alec couldn’t deny that he was beautiful. He was breathtaking even and he knew exactly how Alec liked to be touched. How could he wish for more? He had a friend, he had a lover. He had someone to make him feel warm at night. That was enough. It had to be.
The first time they’d ever done this it had been a mess, literally. They knew what to do now. They had smoothed everything out and when Underhill finally kicked his pants off, Alec fell back against the pillows, waiting for him to come settle himself between his legs, waiting for him to find that angle where he could hold himself up and grab them both in one hand.
They really had it down to an art at this point. Alec spread his legs just enough and sighed as Underhill braced himself above him, the warm press of his skin soothing something that Alec hasn’t realized was there. He looked like Jace with his blond hair cascading across his face. Jace was more angular. His hair was less curly. The resemblance was there though and Alec pretended not to notice it. He was sure Underhill did as well.
Underhill spit into his hand, laughing down at Alec. Alec laughed back, feeling his breath tickling the side of his face. He wasn’t sure what they were laughing about. He wasn’t sure if either of them knew. Maybe, they just needed to laugh sometimes, so they wouldn’t think about how dangerously stupid this was.
Underhill moved his hand down, wrapping it around them, promptly shutting both of them up. He wasn’t always the one in control like this but Alec couldn’t deny that he was better at it. Alec was too sensitive. He lost himself too quickly, his movements got too sloppy too fast. Underhill was always more in control though. He could fall apart and still keep his hand moving, keep it tight.
Alec secretly hated that he wasn’t that in control. Underhill not so secretly loved it but Alec only had a second to pity himself because Underhill wasted no time, stroking all the way up and then back down in one fluid motion, making Alec gasp and arch into his touch.
“You’re so sensitive.” He cooed. Alec wanted to spit on him.
“Fuck you.” He snapped back with no real fire in his tone. He was sensitive and for the moment, he was fine with that as long as Underhill didn’t stop whatever he was doing that felt that good.
He moved faster gradually, far too slowly in Alec’s opinion, his breathy gasps tickling Alec’s ear and he got closer and closer. Alec was always louder. Sometimes, he had to press his hand over his mouth to hold himself back. Sometimes, Underhill did it for him.
No one had ever caught them but that didn’t mean no one ever would. Alec told himself to be quiet, gasped and caught his lip between his own teeth as he held back the groan that threatened to bubble to the surface. Underhill tightened his hand, stroking firm, twisting at the tip in a way that made Alec’s toes curl, made his breath hitch in his throat.
His grip was dry now, almost painfully but neither of them were willing to stop enough to do anything about it. They were close, so close. Normally, one of them got there first and there was an awkward moment or two as one of them finished and the other fumbled to try and get there as well but that didn’t seem to be a problem today. Maybe, they were both pretty sensitive. Repressed, most likely but Alec could ponder that thought later.
Alec clenched his eyes shut and clung to Underhill’s strong shoulders, feeling the muscles flex under his calloused fingertips. Underhill trembled, his legs dropping him down until he was almost pressed right against Alec, his angle awkward now, less composed as he fumbled to get them both there.
Alec wanted to make fun of him but he couldn’t even think of the words to say. He couldn’t think of anything at all, not when he could taste the sweat dripping down the other man's neck. Alec’s breath hitched in his throat. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and that had never been such a wonderful feeling before. His nails dug into Underhill’s back, sharp enough that he was sure he’d have marks there tomorrow but there was no one in the Institute tomorrow, no one to interrupt them, no one to see. Hell, they’d probably be back here again then, enjoying every moment of this that they could before it would be back to quickies between training and missions.
Alec’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. His hips shot forward, a loud, far too loud moan bubbling from his lips as he came into his hand. Underhill kept moving for a moment before he finished and fell boneless onto Alec’s chest. They both heaved for air for a second, weightless, struggling to draw every breath in.
They were both sticky and uncomfortable and they’d probably need a shower before they could go anywhere but Alec was barely aware of it. He felt like he was floating. He felt like he had left his body and for one of the first times in the long while that they had been doing this, they both relaxed and found themselves drifting off into sleep without worries of anything at all.
Alec woke up hours later with Underhill drooling on his chest. He flinched, moving to throw himself up in pure panic, thinking someone had to have noticed they were gone, thinking completely irrational that someone might have even seen them. Then, he remembered. Right. Everyone was gone. They were safe, as safe as they could be in this place.
Alec dropped his head back against the pillows again and stared at the ceiling, listening to Underhill’s soft breath against his chest. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again. His legs felt numb and he could feel the evidence of exactly what they’d done, dried and uncomfortable between them. Alec couldn’t wait to get up and take a shower, maybe go for a walk before it got dark and try to stretch his legs out.
He looked down at Underhill though and he couldn’t wake him up. He looked peaceful like this. He looked happy in his sleep and as uncomfortable as Alec was, it did feel nice to be this close to another person (even if his elbow was digging painfully into Alec’s side). He sighed and let him sleep. They were safe here for now and Alec wasn’t going to wake him up and ruin that.
Besides, he was a shadowhunter. They were nothing if not good at falling asleep in uncomfortable places.