Chapter 1: Primal Scream
Being on tour was always going to be hard, Bret knew that, but being on tour with Mötley Crüe didn’t have to be this hard. They were doing this on purpose. Crüe had been messing with him since he came on this tour, sort of. Nikki and Tommy had been messing with him since he’d come on this tour. Today it was just too much though.
CC had come in smashed last night and the two of them had a blazing row over taking responsibility. The guitarist had passed out on the bed and Bret had ended up laying awake all night, going over the argument. He hated arguing with the band, especially CC but that was for reasons he wasn’t about to confront any time soon. His feelings for him were only getting stronger and he hated it, it was obvious CC didn't feel the same. He was tired and hurt and really didn’t want the first thing he saw when he walked into the arena for sound checks to be Nikki and Tommy whispering to each other while staring at him.
They were giggling, at one point Nikki pushed Tommy playfully before shoving his hand into his hair and pulling him into a searing kiss. Bret looked away as Nikki ground their hips together up against the wall. It was undeniable they were the hottest couple in Hollywood- not popularity wise but, if you got to see them in action, you’d feel it. Bret had learnt that early on. He had walked in on them on his first day and had to go straight to his dressing room after. He hadn’t been quick enough though, they’d seen the strain in his denim and it had been from then on that they had targeted him.
Bret put his head down and walked past them, feeling their eyes burning into him as they pulled apart. He could have sworn he heard Tommy whisper his name but he couldn’t deal with it today. He just kept walking.
He’d been hiding in his dressing room for a few hours before the door swung open. Bret was restringing his guitar, refusing to look up. There was no knock so he knew exactly who it was. He didn’t turn around or even acknowledge Tommy leaning against the door. A few seconds passed and Bret almost began to think it wasn’t him, he was never this quiet. It wasn’t until he felt an invasion in his space and hot breath on his neck that he stopped winding the string he was working on. Still, Tommy never spoke. Bret dropped his arms to the side and waited.
The air around them was getting warmer, or at least Bret thought, but that could’ve just been Tommy’s heavy breathing on him. Why was he breathing so hard? Was he out of breath? In his peripheral, Bret saw a hand slide from behind him and brush its fingers along his wrist. He pulled away quickly and the hand moved back. The fuck was he playing at? Nikki would kill them both.
Tommy didn’t move again for a while so Bret started winding the strings again. He didn’t make another move until the final string was in tune. The moment it was, Tommy wrapped an arm around Bret’s waist and pulled him flush back against him.
“I- I don’t want this.” His voice shook but Bret meant it.
“Course you do. I’ve seen you staring.” Tommy hovered his lips above Bret’s neck. He wouldn’t take this further unless Bret said yes.
“No. You and Nikki... you’re great together. I don’t wanna-”
It was then that Bret heard the third voice in the room. Nikki laughed from the far corner by the door.
“Don’t you worry about us. We’ll be just fine whether you take us up on this or not.” He could hear the smirk in Nikki’s voice. It would’ve grated him if it didn’t turn him on so much.
Bret didn’t want to turn around, he was scared they’d be laughing and it’d all be some sick joke. So he did something so subtle Tommy almost missed it. He tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck. Nikki stopped laughing instantly. Everything was still, like Tommy and Nikki were surprised this had worked.
He felt a warm wet across his neck as Tommy placed open mouthed kisses on the exposed skin. Most of his lips were soft but he’d been in a fight recently and the cut was still healing. The rough edge to it almost scratched alongside the damp kisses. As Tommy reached the crook by his shoulder, he bit down lightly before sucking hard- the bastard was making sure to leave a mark.
Bret felt movement, it was barely audible over the sound of Tommy’s breathing but Nikki was getting closer. Tommy suddenly broke off the kisses and stood up pulling Bret with him. Turning around, he saw the dark lust in their eyes, this wasn’t a joke.
Nikki pointed at the red mark quickly coming up on his neck. “Nobody touches you ‘til after the show, hear me?” His voice was deeper than usual and he traced the mark softly, his fingers almost as rough as Tommy’s lips. Bret nodded, silent. It stayed silent as the other two left.
Bret was left alone, almost unable to comprehend what had just happened. He moved to the mirror and checked his neck just to be sure it had actually happened at all. The bright red mark was getting darker, it had definitely happened. He was almost worried about whatever it was he had just agreed to.
Most of the time, after they’d finished playing, Poison would bring the fans backstage and tonight was no different. At least not for most of them. Bret sat with them, had some drinks, laughed but, when it came to these barely dressed girls hitting on him, Bret had made an excuse to leave. The rest of the band hardly noticed and the girls were quick enough to move their attention. It stung a little bit, almost making him feel replaceable but this was his choice. He needed to find out what Tommy and Nikki were planning.
From the corridor, he could feel the bass through the walls but the actual music was muffled. He rested his head against the wall and took a few deep breaths, thoughts spinning in his head. Would Nikki’s lips feel the same as Tommy’s? Who was bigger? Who was rougher? Would they both take part this time or was Nikki a watcher? Bret couldn’t help but envision it, Tommy behind him holding him up against his chest as he slammed into him. Nikki, oh, Nikki practically sprawled on his stomach in front of him, that filthy smirk across his face as he ran his lips up the side of Bret’s cock, licking, kissing, about to take it in an-
He shook his head hard. No, chances were they were just going to mess with him a bit. They’d probably planned it so Poison would catch them or something or worse the rest of Mötley Crüe. The tent in Bret’s jeans made him think maybe he wouldn’t care if anyone caught them. They were both too hot for their own goods and, damn, did they know it.
Bret didn’t really know where to go. He couldn’t go back to the Poison dressing room, he’d get hit on again and he couldn’t keep saying no, people would get suspicious. Would it be wrong to wait in the Crüe dressing room? What if Mick and Vince came back first? Maybe he could go watch them play for a bit? Bret ran his hands along the wall as he walked, feeling every beat.
The screams were deafening but the music was even louder from just behind the stage. He watched as the girls in the audience threw themselves at the band, removing clothes and begging. He smiled. All these options and tonight it might be him instead.
Catching a glimpse of Tommy was difficult from this angle, he was just a mass of hair and sticks but he was shirtless and Bret found himself appreciating that more tonight than usual. The sweat shone on his skin and his hair was almost completely plastered, he had a look on his face like he was on the verge of ecstacy. He probably was, he was in his element up there.
His view was blocked pretty quick, Nikki had come back to his side of the stage. His stripes were smudged and his eyeliner wasn’t holding up any better but he still looked so hot. Weirdly... beautiful. Everyone had thought it at some point or another, Nikki just had very good aesthetics. Dropping to his knees and interacting with the fans a little, Bret got a nice view of his ass. The bassist crawled a little across the stage and the waistband dropped a bit lower, showing off his hips more.
Bret readjusted his pants, he had to, the idea of slamming himself into that ass, holding those hips hard enough to leave marks had him getting harder. Suddenly, Nikki jumped to his feet, spinning himself around rapidly. He’d never stood and watched them play, not really. He’d never noticed Nikki practically grinding against the bass. Never had Bret wanted to be a bass more in his life. He wanted that power, that aggression, he wanted to feel it all against him- in him. The end of the show couldn’t come quick enough.
With the show over, Bret had even less idea where to go. He assumed they would come and find him again so he went back to the Poison dressing room. The guys were all still there with some girls, significantly more drunk now. He went straight to the bathroom to kill time, disappointed to find it occupied by some topless girl throwing up. She looked up and winked at him, all he could do was smile politely and leave.
Sitting on a sideboard, he poured himself a drink and watched the others grope and be groped. He watched CC for a second, a sense of jealousy rising before he remembered what he was about to leave and do. It was bittersweet but he knew CC wasn’t interested in him, if he was, he wouldn’t be so distant all the time. He wouldn’t be so careless about his feelings. Still, it hurt a bit and Bret didn’t want to think about it tonight. Finishing his drink, he jumped down from the sideboard and left the room, missing the soft glance his guitarist gave him as he did.
The door hadn’t even closed behind him when Bret saw Tommy and Nikki leaving their dressing room. Their eyes locked on him instantly. Nikki tapped Tommy's arm and they both moved towards him, they each grabbed an arm and pulled him along roughly down the corridor.
The two bands were playing this particular city for a few nights so they had gotten hotels. Nikki and Tommy were sharing, naturally, and poor Mick had to deal with Vince. Poison had a similar set up but Bret couldn’t help but notice how much messier the Crüe rooms had become than his and CC’s. Glass was smashed against walls and the bed was a mess, he could swear that the mark on the table was a burn of some kind. Tommy shut the door behind them and quickly shoved Bret up against it. Neither of the them got close to him, they just stared for a minute.
“Didn’t think you’d actually go for it.” Nikki finally spoke, his eyes moving up and down Bret’s body slowly.
Tommy was practically shaking, the adrenaline from the show still coursing. He nudged Nikki so hard he stumbled a bit. “Can I?” He grinned, almost bouncing side to side. Nikki rolled his eyes and smiled, moving to sit on the bed.
Before Nikki had even had time to cross his legs, Bret felt the drummer pinning him back against the door, mouth all over his. He barely had time to think, Tommy was moving so fast. His hips were pinning Bret to the door, his hands moving continuously between his chest and neck, pulling on fabric and tangling in hair, and his mouth was open. The only time his tongue stopped demanding entrance was when he would occasionally nibble Bret’s lip. It took him a few seconds but Bret finally opened his mouth and began kissing back. He would have fought for dominance but Tommy was moving too fast to engage in any sort of battle, instead, he just tried to keep up. He risked moving his hands and rested them against Tommy’s hips, catching Nikki’s attention.
“What are you doing?” Nikki asked slow but harshly.
Bret dropped his hands back down and stared at him as Tommy moved away.
“You wanna touch my boy, you earn it.” Nikki stood and began stalking towards him.
Nikki looked over at Tommy and smiled. “You gotta show you deserve him.”
Bret stared blankly for a second before he saw Nikki’s fingers move to his jean button. He nodded, gaining himself a grin from Nikki as he pushed the blonde to his knees. He turned to look at Tommy, searching for any kind of sign, only to see him sprawled on the bed, jeans off, a finger rubbing against his arse. Fuck, he looked hot but it wasn’t helping Bret. Nikki put a finger under his chin, guiding him to look at him. His eyes were dark but still shining out from under his fringe. Bret took a deep breath and undid the tight denim in front of him, pulling it down to Nikki’s knees and watched as his task was unveiled.
When Bret had walked in on them, he hadn’t seen Nikki’s dick, it was already inside Tommy. He was happy to note it wasn’t as big as Tommy’s, yet not disappointing either. It was already twitching a bit but not hard- Bret had work ahead of him. He leaned in, holding the base with one hand and balancing himself against Nikki with the other, he ran his tongue up the side. At least he’d fucking washed recently, Bret had heard the stories. Pressing his tongue flat against the head, he heard a disapproving moan from the bed.
“What’s up, baby? Is Bret not giving a good enough show?” Nikki almost cooed over at him.
“Can’t see.” Tommy complained, moving further down the bed.
Nikki moved Bret’s hair to one side and kept his hand on the back of his head, pushing lightly. Bret parted his lips and took the first few inches in. He wasn’t new to this but he was new to Nikki and the man confused him, it was impossible to tell what he wanted- especially from him. He bobbed his head around him making sure he ran his tongue along and around as much as he could reach before taking him deeper. He could feel his cock getting harder the more he worked on it and started pumping his hand in time with his movements before pulling off and spitting on it, using his hand to jerk him off for a second while he caught his breath.
Tommy seemed to enjoy the spitting as he moaned loudly. Bret glanced over, he had three fingers inside him now and was completely naked. He felt the hand in his hair tug lightly and he looked back at Nikki, he was sweating and his lips were full from biting them. Bret smirked and swallowed him whole, stilling at the base and moving his hand to roll his balls gently. It was the first sex related noise he’d heard from Nikki since he started but it was harmonic. The deep groan that turned into an empty breath that escaped him had Bret feeling the precum leaking in his jeans. Nikki held him in place for a few seconds as he swallowed around him before choking a little. He pulled off again and ran his tongue along the length of it, sucking at the sides a little. He was about to take it back in when Nikki held him back.
“On the bed.” It was a command and Bret was taking it as a good sign.
He went and sat on the bed, Tommy scooted to sit up and started taking off his shirt for him. Bret didn’t help too much, he didn’t know the rules.
“You learn quick.” Nikki smiled and finished undressing himself before helping Tommy finish undressing Bret. As soon as his jeans were off, Tommy attacked his hips and stomach with hickies. Nikki smiled and watched his boyfriend mark up the new boy.
“Go on, Tom. What should we do with him?”
Tommy looked thoughtful before smiling, “I wanna fuck him.”
“Hold on, I’m not done.” Tommy leaned down and left a few more hickies trailing from his hip down to his thigh. “I want you in me while I do. Want him to feel both of us.”
Nikki grinned, “That’s more like it.”
Tommy pushed and pulled Bret until he was on all fours. He lowered his face and sucked a large mark into his left cheek before kneading them apart and running his tongue from the back of his balls up to his hole. He spent a few minutes sucking and probing his way into the tight ring. Bret groaned into the darkness of the room so loudly he didn’t hear the click of the lid of the small tube Nikki had passed Tommy. It wasn’t until he felt the cold on his crack that he braced himself. He was right to, once Tommy had coated his fingers, he was relentless. He was almost as fast with with fingers as he had been making out with him earlier. Bret did his best to stay relaxed but he felt himself clench as Tommy crooked his fingers, slowed down and stretched gently. Bret dropped his front down to the bed, burying his face in blankets and crying out in pleasure as he added a third finger. Tommy pulled out slowly and coated himself, stroking himself a bit along the way.
Nikki set himself up behind him, running his fingers across the mark on Bret’s arse, “Nice job.”
Tommy grinned, “Thanks, I’ll add to yours later.” He turned and kissed Nikki passionately, all tongue and reaching an arm behind himself to hold him closer. They broke apart and Tommy lined himself up against Bret, pushing in slowly. Bret’s eyes shot open and his back arched. The pace he set was brutal, fingers digging into his hips and Bret had to bite into the blankets to stop himself from screaming.
He felt a second force, a second pace. Tommy leaned forward as Nikki began to thrust himself in and out of him. Bret was overwhelmed to say the least. The two of them had their own energies and they were choking him while pounding him into this gross ass mattress- he wouldn’t change it at all.
Tommy stopped thrusting for a while and settled for grinding into his arse while Nikki gave out gruelling hard thrusts. Every so often, Bret would hear a loud slap and feel Tommy jerk. He was resting most of his weight on Bret now and the blonde could feel his hips threatening to give way. His legs were shaking as the the heat in his stomach turned into a burning.
“Not gonna last...” Nikki’s words rung like music to Bret’s ears. He was so close. He needed...
“Me either.” Tommy mumbled.
The bed moved beneath them as Nikki pulled out and stood up. He walked around to the front of Bret, lifting him back up forcefully. “Open, princess.”
Bret didn’t even question the pet name, he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. Nikki threw his head back as he stroked himself a few more times. Thick liquid fell from his cock, Bret moved to catch as much as he could in his mouth. Nikki grinned down at him before kneeling on the floor, smearing the excess across his cheek with his thumb.
Bret did as he was told and, for the first time, felt Nikki’s lips against his own. He was... being gentle.
“Fuck...” Tommy whimpered above him and he felt him pull out. A warmth landed on his back a few moments later. Tommy collapsed to the side, grinning and stretching out. Bret sat back up, looking about before he felt Nikki push him to lay on his back.
“You earned this.” Nikki climbed on top of him, his face just above Bret’s desperate cock. Bret watched, eyes unable to pull themselves away as Nikki took him all the way to the back of his throat and held him there for a few seconds.
Bret’s hands instinctively moved to his hair. He only managed to stop himself mere inches from contact. He forced his hand back into the bedsheets. Nikki pulled off of him and locked eyes, taking Bret’s hand and putting it in his hair. He pushed him down experimentally and Nikki followed. He sucked and swallowed until Bret pulled him back, panting and groaning. He could barely see, his eyes were so blurry but the smirk on Nikki’s face was unmistakable. Using his hand, Nikki brought Bret to a cursing orgasm all across his stomach. The bassist couldn’t help himself, running his finger through a spot and licking it gently. Bret would’ve come again right there if he didn’t feel as if he were about to pass out.
Sensing it, Nikki moved away and gestured towards the mini bar in the corner. With shaky legs, Bret made his way over and poured himself a glass of water.
“Throw us a beer.” Tommy called over. Bret passed it over and went to the bathroom.
The light from the bathroom seemed blinding compared to the bedroom, the only light in there was from the window. He squinted at himself in the mirror before cleaning himself up. He leant against the sink, closing his eyes. The spinning in his head was finally slowing when he felt wet hands on his back.
“You missed Tommy’s.” Nikki sounded exhausted as he washed away the sticky residue.
“Thanks.” Bret turned around, avoiding eye contact.
“Well, we’re shattered now so...”
“Yeah, I was just leaving.”
Nikki looked at him confused. “No, princess. You stay here tonight.” Bret looked up at him, his eyes stinging from the lights and tiredness.
Nikki held his wrist softly and guided him back to the bed. Tommy was already curled up on one side and Nikki settled right next to him, pulling Bret down on his other side. Bret tested the waters, resting a hand on Nikki’s arm. In response, he was pulled flush against Nikki’s side and held close until he relaxed into the contact. It didn’t take long. Bret curled up against the warm body, feeling Tommy do the same.
“You know, if this was what you wanted, you should’ve just asked.” Tommy whispered.
“Wish I had.” Bret whispered back, feeling the drummer’s fingers trace across the back of his hand as it rest on Nikki’s chest. This was the first night in months he managed to fall asleep without thinking of CC.
Chapter 2: I Never Cry
The morning after didn't sound appealing to Bret but it was the afternoon that would be the killer.
Sorry this chapter is so short in comparison to the first one but hey, at least there is a chapter two.
It was Tommy who woke him up and Bret kind of wished he hadn’t. He knew that morning meant figuring out what to do next and he had no idea. Being on tour with them for a month already, he saw what they were like. He knew he’d regret this. The soft shaking on his hand stopped when his eyes opened.
Wincing a little, he sat up and started getting dressed. The movement was enough to wake Nikki up.
The two dark haired men watched him get dressed from still under the blankets. Bret felt a cold hand running along his lower back, he shuddered a little before turning around to face them, putting his shirt on.
“Are you coming to the soundcheck?” Nikki was almost quiet, laying on his back with his hair a mess. The sunlight coming through and falling on both of them, making them look like the human embodiment of sin.
“I kind of have to, I’m the singer.”
Nikki smiled and rolled on his side, propping himself up as Tommy lit a cigarette. “No, asshole. You coming to ours?”
Bret felt the colour drain from his face. What were they planning? “Umm, I can’t. I have to make sure the guys haven’t killed themselves, they were a mess when I left.”
“I’m sure they can look after themselves. You’re not their dad. Dude, just come chill with us for a bit.” Tommy blew out smoke into Nikki’s hair, watching as it veiled his boyfriend.
Bret nodded and turned to walk out. What’s the worst that could happen? Yeah they fucked him but Nikki gave him head so he didn’t exactly have higher ground here.
“No goodbye kiss?” Tommy grinned, sitting up.
Bret couldn’t help but feel sick. They were hot but they were dangerous and every minute spent with them was putting so much at risk. He couldn’t trust people like them. He turned back them, opening the door. “Come get one, if you want it so bad.” He cursed himself instantly. It was the only thing he could think of that didn’t sound pathetic. A beat. Nothing. Bret nodded and walked out.
He was halfway down the hallway when he felt the cold hand on him again. It held his wrist loosely a tugged him to face him. Nikki was only wearing underwear, Tommy following out the door, struggling to get into his. Bret looked around frantically, someone was definitely going to see this.
Bret was cut off by Nikki’s lips pressing against his softly, barely moving. His lips were as cold as his hands but Bret felt himself reaching for his face anyway. A door clicking behind him made Bret break the kiss quick.
“What’s going on, Bret?” Rikki sounded concerned.
“Look just know your place! You’re a support act, nothing better.” Nikki shoved him with the last words to make his point.
“Yeah, Rockett, keep your singer on his leash. We don’t need him telling us how to do our job!” Tommy’s voice was loud and snide.
Still facing away from Rikki, Bret smiled a little and could’ve sworn he saw Nikki nod back. “Whatever, you lot crash and burn if you want. I’ve got a show to arrange.” Bret turned and stormed back to his room. Rikki followed closely behind him as they got to the door.
The first thing he saw when he opened the door was CC passed out on the floor and two girls on the bed, still asleep. Part of him had hoped that being away for the night would have made the guitarist look at things differently, clearly not. Bret crossed the room, careful to avoid last nights mess of cans and clothes. He threw open the curtains and squinted at the light.
“What the hell did you say them?” Rikki didn’t care to check his volume.
“They’re the only reason we’re on this tour. Just play nice for now, please!”
Bret looked down and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry, man. They just... got to me.”
Rikki helped usher the now awake girls to their clothes and poured the remains of a can over CC. He spluttered and jerked awake. Looking around, he grinned at the girls as they left and sat himself up the bed.
“Fucking wild.” He gestured to the door.
“Do you even remember it?” Bret asked, sitting on the windowsill.
“No but I bet it was.”
“Can you talk to Bret? He’s starting shit with Mötley Crüe.” Rikki huffed.
“Dude, you can’t pull that shit here, they’re in charge.” CC groaned as he tried to look over at him, blinding himself with the sunlight.
“Really? You’re gonna talk about doing what’s right?” Bret sneered.
“Don’t fucking start that again.”
Rikki had enough of this on the tour bus, he wasn’t about to deal with it in a hotel. He had options here. He threw CC his jeans and walked out.
“So, where were you last night?” CC asked slowly, not looking up from his jeans, a fake smirk plastering his lips.
“Getting laid.” Bret felt a wave of satisfaction at being able to say he wasn’t sitting around waiting for him to get home. It was short lived though. Last night had been great but now, here with him, Bret was beginning to regret it. If there was a chance with CC, getting with half of Crüe was certainly going to ruin it. But what was he supposed to do? Wait forever?
CC fell silent, the smirk falling from his face. He shrugged and nodded over to him before going to the bathroom. Bret waited, listening to the water start. It just didn’t stop. He waited for nearly an hour, getting changed and ready for the day ahead but the water kept falling. He knew CC was sulking and avoiding him, he got the message.
Making sure to slam the door so CC would know it was safe to come out, Bret went across the hall to Rikki and Bobby’s room, he still needed to shower. Bobby opened the door, fully dressed.
“CC’s taking the piss, can I use your shower?” Bobby rolled his eyes and nodded, letting him in and leaving to join Rikki at breakfast.
Bret headed straight to the bathroom, stripping completely and stepping into the small space. The water took longer than he’d have liked before warming up but, when it did, it felt perfect. He took a moment to wash, running soap and water all over himself. As his hands drifted lower, he spent a little more time than necessary “cleaning”. His hand moved slowly up and down his cock, stopping at the base to squeeze gently. He let go and carried on washing.
Moving his hair to finish washing it was the worst decision he could’ve made. The hot spray hit his shoulder and Bret’s mind flew back to Tommy leaving those wet messy kisses. He let himself stand there for a second, enjoying the memory before he realised his hand was back on his dick, stroking harder this time. He sighed, it was just gonna be like this. The steam rising from the water was making it hard to see but that was ok, Bret had what he wanted in his mind. He closed his eyes and imagined the couple both there with him, mouths lapping across his skin wherever hey could reach. His movements got faster and Bret bit his lip to hold back a whimper. He couldn’t be sure no one would walk in and the thought of someone hearing him moan for Tommy and Nikki while he jerked off made him cringe... also made him harder though. The idea of being caught and having to tell everyone what had happened, the idea of telling everyone that they wanted him last night. He remembered the look on Nikki’s face the first time he called him princess, just before he came all over his face. He remembered the incoherent noises Tommy made as he pushed inside him. The memories were enough, Bret came in his hand with a breathy sigh.
When they’d asked, Bret had been sure that he wasn’t going anywhere near that soundcheck but now, after the blow up with CC, he really wanted to see them again. He wanted to see if they would be as affectionate as they had been before with him. He wanted to feel wanted again. Checking himself in a window, Bret made sure his shirt fell low enough to show off the hickies they’d left on him.
Soundchecks were in full swing and Bret stood in the seating area, watching them play. There were a couple of techies standing around, making notes. As they played, Tommy noticed him watching. He locked eyes with the drummer and smirked as he did a very complicated looking stick twirl, showing off for his little one man audience.
The song finished before Nikki noticed him. He beckoned Bret over with one hand as he set his bass down. Tommy jumped down from the drums to join them.
“We weren’t sure if you’d come.” Tommy grinned, sitting on the edge of the stage.
“Neither was I.” Bret admitted.
Nikki kneeled down, “What made you?”
Bret shrugged and Tommy ran his leg across his thighs, pulling him closer with it. Bret looked around nervously, he knew this had been a set up. He sighed.
Mick saw them from across the stage and tapped Vince on the shoulder. The singer looked over at the three of them and grinned. “Awww, guys! Does this mean we gotta be nice to him now?” Vince pouted and Tommy flipped him off.
Bret looked between Tommy and Nikki, confused. He opened his mouth to speak but Tommy leaned in and kissed him quick. Bret stepped back a little out of instinct. There was a glimmer of hurt in Tommy’s eyes. Nikki almost glared at him.
“I don’t get it, why’d you come if you didn’t wanna-”
“I’m not about to be made a laughing stock out of. I didn’t think you’d be so obvious.” Bret cut off Nikki’s harsh tone.
“What? Being with us is embarrassing?” Tommy sounded as hurt as he looked.
“But I’m not with you though, am I? I’m just a lay. I can’t put that kind of image with Poison, they’d hate me. Mötley Crüe’s slut.” He spoke faster and louder than he’d intended. He watched as they stared at each other. They spoke silently with their eyes and Bret dropped his head, feeling ashamed.
“Only half of Crüe.” Tommy offered before Nikki pushed him and sat next to him.
“Did we make you feel like a slut last night?” Nikki spoke softly, lifting Bret’s chin to face him. “Or this morning?”
Bret shook his head. He hadn’t really thought about it properly yet but they really made him feel equal once they knew he was willing to join in. And, as for this morning, they’d both chased him for that kiss. Sluts didn’t get chased for goodbye kisses. They saw that he was scared of Rikki finding out and they had both covered for him. They could have easily dropped him in it or told everyone but they didn’t. Vince didn’t even seem surprised that they were being gentle with him. Did he know something? How long had they planned this? What exactly had they planned because this wasn’t a one night stand. This was... bigger.
“Then why would you think that?” Nikki interrupted his thoughts.
Every answer sounded so desperate in his head. Bret shrugged, hoping it’d be enough. It wasn’t. Nikki folded his arms and Tommy slipped himself off the stage edge. “I’ve just seen how you are with people. It’s like they’re disposable to you both.”
“And you treat them any better?” Nikki asked as he watched Tommy circle Bret and lean against the stage again.
“I...” He had nothing. He wasn’t exactly known for being respectable when it came to his sexual encounters.
“We’re ready to risk it on you, Michaels. You gotta be willing to risk it on us too though.” Tommy tilted his head to the side.
Nikki slid off the edge of the stage. “Just think about it, princess. You know where to find us.” He took Tommy’s hand and walked them both backstage.
Bret could almost feel tears, that had been so overwhelming. How had he gotten the situation so wrong? How had he gotten them so wrong? He took a deep breath before a loud voice echoed through the mic system. “So they finally made their move?” Vince was still on stage. “Good. Not as if they haven’t been planning it long enough.” It was too much, Bret almost ran out of there and out to the back of the building.
The afternoon sun made the air just as suffocating outside as in. He almost choked as he climbed into the rented car. Bret’s eyes began to blur while he tried to get the key into the ignition. Dropping them in defeat, he let his head fall against the wheel, quiet sobs escaping him. Between CC and this, it was all getting too much for him now. He’d need to make a decision at some point but, for now, he just needed to be alone.
Chapter 3: Hollywood Ending
Bret makes his decision.
I finally finished this thing.
Hours had passed before anyone saw Bret again. When they finally did, it was time for Poison’s sound checks. Almost shuffling onto the stage, the band shot each other concerned looks. Rikki glared over at CC who looked down with guilty eyes. Bret looked tired, his eyes glazed and small, he held his body tight to himself, as if he was cold. The sweat had mixed with the hairspray and left his hair almost matted in clumps. The band had seen him like this before, not often but they had seen it. Bret wouldn’t want to talk to them right now. He was too proud for his own good and even trying would lead to more arguing and, in his state, they couldn’t be sure if Bret would recover in time to perform tonight.
Minutes went by and Bret went through the motions, stood where he was told and sang the songs he had to. He didn’t argue when Rikki made changes and didn’t even respond when CC spoke. He just played his role. There was only one song left when Bret saw two dark haired men walk in. He almost ran straight off the stage and away again as Nikki and Tommy got closer to the stage.
“Last one, guys.” A techie called.
Bret took a breath and avoided looking at them as Rikki counted them in. At first, he hadn’t wanted to see them at all but, by the second chorus, Bret was very aware at how much of a mess he looked. He began feeling insecure about it, making an effort to hold himself a little taller but failing. Every time he pulled himself up, a wave of emotion- he couldn’t even tell which one anymore- hit him and tears threatened to fill his eyes again. The song seemed to last forever.
Finally, the noise around his stopped and Bret jumped down from the stage to grab his jacket, he’d thrown on one of the front seats. CC quickly put his guitar down and moved towards the front of the stage, ready to jump down too when Nikki and Tommy began moving forward. Tommy practically jogged over to him.
“Dude, you look like shit. I’m so sorry, was this us?” Tommy tried to brush some hair from Bret’s face but he moved away.
He shook his head and put his jacket on, checking his pockets. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular but it meant he didn’t have to look at them and that was good enough. He felt a hand on his arm and risked a glance. Nikki had made it over and was running the back of his fingers along the top of his arm.
“You feeling ok?”
Bret nodded, he had to. He’d sooner lie to the world than tell anyone he was torn between his best friend who couldn’t care less about him and LA’s most destructive couple. Tommy and Nikki stared at the rest of the band and, in unison, grabbed one of Bret’s arms each.
“We’ll bring him back in one piece, don’t worry.” Tommy called to the others before they walked him out of the hall arena.
Bret was sat at the bottom of the bed while Nikki sat at the head. The were both silent, Nikki examining every movement he made, clearly trying to work out what was happening to the singer. Tommy moved around the room quickly, trying to keep himself busy. He’d already had two beers, a line of coke, and changed his outfit. Bret heard a loud huff come from him as he sat down beside Nikki. Tommy was never going to be as subtle as the bassist about this.
“Please tell us what happened. None of Poison seemed mad at us so there’s something else... unless you just didn’t tell them.”
“Of course I didn’t tell them. How would I even explain this?”
“Guys, I’m with Nikki and Tommy now. They’re hot and fun so yeah.” Nikki offered deadpan, still staring. He paused, tilting his head. “Then it is us?”
Bret shook his head, “There’s just stuff going on in the band. Tension.” He wasn’t lying completely.
Tommy smirked, “If there’s anything we’re good at sorting, it’s tension.” He crawled over to Bret, pressing a rough kiss to his lips. Bret couldn’t help but melt into it for a second, being with them really did make him feel better but he couldn’t do it right now. He felt himself pull away, putting a hand on Tommy’s chest. He got the message and sat back on his heels, sighing.
Bret opened his mouth to talk but felt the familiar lump in his throat block the way. He was getting more frustrated by his reaction to all of this than he was the situation now. The constant need to cry was tiring him and he couldn’t hear himself think over the pounding in his head.
“Did you want something? Is that why you came to the sound check?” A desperate attempt at changing the subject on his part but it was all Bret could get out.
Nikki nodded and smiled, “Figured we’d come see yours if you came to ours. Make things a little more equal. You don’t trust us so we thought maybe, if we leveled the ground a bit, you might be more comfortable.”
Damn it, Sixx. That wasn’t what Bret wanted to hear. He wanted to hear some snarky comment or sexualisation of himself so he could convince himself this was a bad idea. He didn’t want to feel special.
“What did Vince mean?” Bret hadn’t even thought about the question before it fell out of his mouth.
They looked at each other, fear flashing through Tommy’s eyes while Nikki shifted nervously. “What’d he say?” Tommy asked quietly.
“He said you’d been planning this for a while now.”
Nikki scooted closer so he was level with Tommy. There was barely a foot between Bret and them and Nikki reached out to fiddle with one of the rips in the knee of Bret’s jeans. This was the first time he had stopped looking at either one of the other men. Bret couldn’t help but notice how fragile he looked now. He felt bad for asking. He wanted to make it better, he didn’t like seeing Nikki worried like this. He... cared. Oh no.
Putting his hand close to the rip, Bret reached out his pinkie and stroked Nikki’s fingers lightly. They stopped briefly before entwining themself fully in Bret’s and playing with his hand instead. It was strangely intimate, the callous tips tracing the insides of his fingers before running along the palm of his hand and drawing the most intricate patterns out on his skin. Bret’s eyes were fixed on the contact, Nikki was performing some sort of ballet and he was the stage. His dance soon finished though and Nikki rested his hand in Bret’s.
The silence became deafening once the movement had stopped. Nikki was the first to move his hand away, he ran it through his hair and sighed. “He wasn’t lying.”
Those weren’t the words Bret had expected. In fact, he’d honestly thought Vince was messing with him earlier. He didn’t know what to say. Did this mean it was a set up or...?
He went to move his hand back too when Tommy reached out to hold it.
“Will you believe us if we told you?” Tommy wasn’t just resting his hand in Bret’s like Nikki had, he was holding onto it, almost like he was scared he’d pull away. Bret nodded, he had nothing to lose at this point- not CC anyway. “You’re loud, obnoxious, your taste in clothes is questionable at best but you’re hot and confident, you’re talented, stand up for yourself, believe in yourself and your friends, and, as far as we can see with Poison, loyal. We just thought... well, we couldn’t think of anyone we’d rather get to join us.” Tommy’s voice went so quiet it almost cracked. He pulled his hand away and looked out the window.
Bret still didn’t know what to say. He wanted to run away again but he wanted to stay and hear what they had to say. He wanted to stay and see where this went. It’d be all lies if he tried to say he wasn’t interested in any of this. “Why’ve you been jerks up till now if you wanted me to be with you?” He wished he knew where his brain filter had gone, he was getting fed up with being surprised by his own voice.
“We wanted to see if you’d leave. We’re not easy to be with.” Nikki admitted.
“Like a test?”
“But you passed so it’s ok.” Tommy smiled.
Bret looked at him for a moment. He really wanted to try this but he couldn’t seem to get the words out without thinking of CC. It was making him feel sick. “I don’t know if I can...”
“Is there someone else?” Tommy looked hurt again but his question just sounded sad.
“Not really. I don’t know. Nothing’s gonna come out of it.” He’d never said it out loud before, admitting there was no chance felt as if someone had stuck a knife in him and dragged it across from rib to rib. It wasn’t until he felt the warmth on his cheek that he knew he was crying again. He looked away quickly but Tommy had already put his hand on his cheek, wiping the tear with a finger.
“They have to be special for you to be wasting this on them.” He looked at the wet on his fingertip.
“They have to be an idiot for making you.” Nikki sounded angry. Bret tried to see through the blurry wall, he looked angry too. He wiped his eyes with his shirt, sniffing.
“I’m sorry. If it wasn’t for them...” He’d never felt resentment towards CC over his feelings before but, right now, he was so angry. “I have to go.”
Nikki didn’t move as Bret made his way to the door but Tommy followed. He looked back at Nikki before leaning in close to Bret, “You better hope he doesn’t find out who it is, they’ve made an enemy today, making you cry like that.”
“I really wish I could do this.” He whispered. Tommy ran a hand through his hair and let it rest on his cheek. He smiled when Bret closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch. As if remembering CC, Bret snapped open his eyes and pulled away. “See you tonight.”
Bret had managed to pull himself together and put on another great performance. It was like turning off all the difficult parts of the day and drifting on autopilot for a while. Listening to the crowd scream drowned out his own thoughts and the lights blinded him enough that he couldn’t see the problems around him. It had been the easiest part of the day so far.
Just like every night, Poison had brought back a few hot girls to the room in the back of the arena. CC was on his fourth drink and Bret had decided to match him tonight. He was struggling a little with the speed but was keeping up with him. The girls were sprawled across all of them and their hands were roaming.
A blonde girl was grinding herself down onto Bret's lap while CC watched, pretending to be interested in the red head sucking bruises on his neck. CC reached over and downed two more drinks, catching Bret's eye. He followed, drinking two more and moving the girl from his lap. He staggered to stand up and went to the bathroom.
The badly lit room made his eyes hurt and he remembered the awful lights in Tommy and Nikki's bathroom. Damn, he wanted to be back there. He missed them. No, he was drunk, he didn't really miss them. But, what if he did? He’d spent the whole night glaring at CC and imagining the girls were them. He wanted to see them again. He was gonna do this. Fuck CC and fuck what the others would think. He needed to be with Tommy and Nikki right now.
The room spun as Bret stumbled back through it. He used a sofa to steady himself. Rikki looked at him concerned as he poured and downed another drink. “See you tomorrow!” He called as he staggered to the door. He didn’t notice Bobby make a very serious face at CC who got up and followed.
Mötley Crüe hadn’t even finished performing, he could still them playing as he made his way slowly through the corridors. Using the walls to keep himself upright, Bret aimed to get to the bit behind the stage again. The stairs were in his sight when he felt CC grab his arm. He turned fast, almost falling. “The fuck do you want?” He slurred.
“Where are you going?”
“Gonna go watch the guys play before they get off.”
“Why? You never do that. We got girls and booze, what else do you want?” There was some sort of smile on CC’s face and it enraged Bret more than the words did.
“Of course you wouldn’t understand. Maybe that’s all you need but I need more. I always have. Tommy and Nikki can give me that.” He was almost shouting.
“Give you what?” CC looked hurt. The same kind of hurt Tommy had looked earlier and it made Bret feel a little bad. He shook his head, this had been the day from hell. It felt like it had lasted a week.
“Something you never could.” Bret leant in close to his face, both of their breathing was heavy. His lips hovered over CC’s for what seemed like forever, no one moved to seal it. Bret moved back. “See.”
The big fireworks for the finale went off and the noise was deafening. Neither of them could hear and, before they knew it, Crüe was leaving the stage. One by one they came down the stairs, each one sweating more than the last. Nikki and Tommy saw Bret before he had a chance to turn around and started making their way towards him.
“Hey, didn’t think you’d be watching tonight.” Nikki was so out of breath, he had to brush his hand down Bret’s arm to make sure he knew he was there.
“We’re in the middle of something, Sixx.” CC snarled.
“Dude, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Tommy stepped up, ready to throw fists at the blonde.
Before anything could happen, Bret leant himself on Tommy and rested a hand on Nikki’s chest. “Just leave him, he’s not worth it. I came to see you both anyway.” He could barely hold his head up but tried just to look into Tommy’s eyes.
Tommy held him close and smiled a little, looking over at Nikki. “I thought you didn’t wanna see us again, pri- Bret.” Nikki stroked his hair as he spoke, grinning at the way Bret nuzzled into the touch.
“What the fuck is happening here?” CC interrupted.
“Uh, we’re in the middle of something, DeVille.” Tommy mocked.
“Changed my mind, it’s not worth waiting for. I can’t do it.” Bret’s grip tightened on Nikki’s shirt.
“Are you sure you’ve not just been drinking too much?” Tommy raised an eyebrow.
“I’m done getting hurt by people who never gave a damn!” He pushed himself away from them both. “I want this.” The sudden movement took out his balance and he fell back against the wall again.
“Look, man, we want-” Tommy was cut off by Bret’s lips on his. The kiss was messy and quick. Bret felt his body jerk at the fast motion, he pulled away fast and threw up on the floor in front of Tommy and Nikki.
“How long has this been going on for?” CC didn’t sound angry, just disappointed.
“Since yesterday.” Bret choked between heaves. Nikki moved his hair out the way carefully but it was already coated.
“Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.” CC spoke sternly and slowly.
“I’m going nowhere with you.”
“We’ll take him back.” Tommy rubbed Bret’s back.
“No. You two have done enough, he’s been a mess all day. At least I know why now.”
“You don’t get it, CC! Fuck! Just go!” Bret screamed, tears in his eyes. When CC didn’t move, Bret used the wall to guide himself out. There was no way he could stay there now. He’d ruined things with all of them now and he was a mess, CC said so himself.
The outside air was really cold and it only made the spinning in his head worse. He threw up again by the wall. Bret could hear the fans still screaming as they left. He tried to breathe it in for a second, their energy. It didn’t work, tears slipped down his face as held himself against the rough brick wall.
“You know, if you weren’t fucked, we’d have taken you back to ours already.” Nikki was leaning against the door.
Bret looked over, wiping his mouth. “It matters?”
“I’m not about to let you in just for you to run back to him in the morning.” His eyes were fixed on Bret. “It is him, isn’t it? CC?”
Bret nodded, tears coming back to his eyes. Nikki stepped forward, there was a look of pity all over his face and it made Bret feel sick again. He tried to move away, tripping over his own feet. Nikki reached out and caught him, helping him back up, keeping his hands on his waist. His thumbs moved slowly in small circular patterns on his hips.
“He’s not like you-”
“Because he doesn’t want you.”
“Because he doesn’t give a shit about me. He doesn’t care about anyone, just his next drink and fix.” Bret pulled away from him slowly and got his balance together. “I’m not saying we’ll work or that you’re perfect boyfriend material but you have priorities. You know how to care- so does Tommy.”
“Tommy’s amazing with that shit. He’ll know exactly how to make the day stop looking so dark...” Nikki had nothing but fondness in his voice and smiled. It made Bret want to be a part of this even more.
“Where is Tommy?”
“Fighting CC. He told me to come check on you.” He shrugged.
Bret cringed at the thought of them fighting over him. He didn’t want either of them to get hurt. He knew that being with CC would never be like being with Tommy and Nikki and that’s what he wanted now but he was still his bandmate. He still cared about him, just maybe not in the way he thought he did. Bret loved the concept of being with CC, he wanted what he thought he could have but, in reality, that was never an option. CC wasn’t like that. He couldn’t care about him the way he wanted and Bret didn’t want whatever it was he could offer. He didn’t want to be with him, not the real CC.
Bret knew what he had to do, he grabbed Nikki’s hand and took him back inside. The rest of Poison were holding CC and Tommy apart- this was his only chance. He held Nikki’s hand tight as he stepped forward. Vince and Mick were watching from a distance, Vince cheering on Tommy and Mick stopping him from joining in himself. As he stood holding Nikki, Tommy looked over and smiled. He stopped struggling against Bobby and walked over to him, taking his other hand.
“Is this happening now? Are we going for this?” Tommy grinned and Nikki and Bret both nodded.
The three of them stood there, facing Poison and Mötley Crüe. Mick and Vince both ran over, slapping them on the back and congratulating them. Mick threatened to skin Bret if he hurt them and Bret accepted it as his blessing. Poison watched, mouths agape.
“Bret... This is a joke, right?” Rikki helped CC up.
He shook his head and smiled, “It’s what I want. We’re good together.”
“You’re fucking shitfaced. You can’t mean this.” CC yelled.
“The fuck do you care? You only ever think about yourself.” Bret shrugged.
“You’re still my brother, I don’t want you with guys who’d sell you for 5 grams of shit.”
“You don’t know us. We don’t owe you a fucking explanation but you mean something to him so we will. We’ve wanted to be with him for weeks now, we don’t need your permission. We wouldn’t hurt him, not on purpose.” Tommy went to kiss Bret before remembering the puke all over him and moving back, “Later, we’ll do that later.”
“Bret-” Bobby started.
“Stop! Just let me do this, please.” He begged. “It won’t affect you if it goes wrong, I swear. I’m an adult, I can do this.” Rikki gives in first and nods.
Bobby follows next and smiles weakly, “You’ve never been good with chicks, mate, hopefully you’ll do better with guys.” CC doesn’t speak, only nods. Vince and Mick say their goodnights as Tommy and Nikki help Bret outside again.
Sunshine woke Bret up the next morning. His head was pounding and he barely remembered the night before. It wasn’t until he rolled over and came face to face with Tommy that he remembered. Most of the night after they’d left had become a blur, he vaguely remembered them helping him shower and peppering kisses on him as he fell asleep.
He smiled softly until he noticed Nikki wasn’t between them. He reached behind him and felt nothing. Sitting up, he heard the shower running. Kissing Tommy’s cheek, he went to the bathroom, opening the door.
The water stopped and Nikki stepped out, Bret handed him a towel. He was soaking and holding eye contact with him as he ran the material across his body. The only time he broke it was to lean over and roughly dry his hair. When he straightened, his hair stuck out at all angles and parts were stuck to his scalp. He wrapped the towel around his waist and moved close to Bret.
“Sober yet?” Nikki smirked, running a damp hand up his chest. Bret nodded, leaning in and kissing his neck, biting down gently to leave another mark in the collection. “I was going to ask if you were still sure about this but, looks like I don’t have to.” He holds Bret’s chin and kisses him deeply, tongue running along his teeth. “Come on, I’ll show the only way to wake Tommy up without dying. Hint, it involves nipples.” Bret grins and Nikki wraps his arms around his waist, taking him back to bed.