The music from downstairs is loud enough the words are still audible when they get upstairs. Something with sax remixed in. The floor under their feet reverberates with the beat, and the energy moves up through Dex’s body as he laughs into Nursey’s neck. He can hear drunken singing from below, but he only had one beer and they stayed just long enough to appease Chowder before going upstairs. Nursey’s neck is warm. Dex can feel the stubble from his jaw as he presses close, closer. He’s vaguely aware of Nursey pushing the door shut as he lets his mouth open and suck at warm skin. He turns Nursey’s face towards him so he can pull him into a kiss.
In the three weeks Derek Nurse has been his boyfriend, he and Dex have gotten really good at making out. The rhythm of breath and tongue and need has been downright perfected, Dex thinks, as he lets Nursey’s tongue chase his and feels Nursey’s teeth nip at his bottom lip. Just the right amount of teeth, too.
They haven’t done more yet, and Dex knows that it’s a little weird, has that niggling feeling that because they’re two guys who are into each other they should’ve been in each others’ pants from the beginning, but the little voice that’s taken up residence in his head lately reminds him that that’s, like, bullshit. The little voice is a weird combination of Bitty, Nursey, Shitty, and maybe even a little bit of himself. Although, when he thinks about it, the whole thing is him, really. It's a voice in his head, after all. And that’s weird in its own way, but it’s good weird.
Tonight feels different—the way that Nursey had halted his hand on the way to the heavily-spiked punch bowl, maybe, said "Let's go upstairs." Nursey's very serious about things like consent and alcohol and stopping Dex from getting hammered if he wanted to have sex seems like exactly the kind of thing he'd do, leading Dex to believe that Nursey is about to try and have sex with him. Which is Dex is totally on board with; his cock has been hard since Nursey dragged him into the middle of the room to dance, pressed close in the pulsing crowd of people, close enough that Dex knows Nursey was just as affected. He can still feel the hard line of Nursey's cock against his, but upstairs and with the door closed they can act on it. Groaning into the kiss, Dex reaches around to grope Nursey's ass with very little finesse, but Nursey doesn't seem to care. He's grinding up on Dex's leg, breaking from Dex's mouth every so often to breathe words that just make Dex harder.
"Fuck, Dex," it's just his name, but hearing it come out of Nursey's mouth blows his mind every time.
But as Nursey's hand rubs his inner thigh, Dex is reminded that, yep, they're doing this, they are definitely heading towards sex. Which, again, he's all for, he just has this niggling feeling that this is big, this isn't like fooling around back home, and he doesn't want to screw it up. He feels like they should—oh, but Nursey's rubbing his dick through his pants now, fuck, it's hot how he's just going for it. And there goes the button on Dex's jeans, and, wow, Nursey’s going for the zip already, and it feels so good but Dex really feels like he should say something but he doesn’t know what, so what comes out is—
“Um.” It comes out loud, abrupt, and awkward. Nursey looks up, hand stilling at Dex’s unzipped fly.
“Is this okay?” And Dex's head might be anxious, might be freaking out a little in fact, but his cock has none of his hesitation and is straining in his jeans. He can just feel Nursey’s hand through the denim, and God does Dex want this.
“It’s okay if it’s not, Dex,” Nursey says, voice deep and raspy, looking right in his eyes, so sincere it’s almost hard to stay looking at him, but no way is Dex looking away. He wants this with Nursey so bad. He’s so close to having everything he thought he couldn’t, a relationship and a friend and what’s promising to be really hot sex. It’s just a lot right now, and he's not sure he trusts himself to have the things he wants, not really, and he needs Nursey to know—
“I haven’t uh,” he gets out, and sees recognition flash through Nursey’s eyes. He drops his hand from Dex and steps away with a sudden,
“Oh, okay.” Dex can tell he has the wrong idea, and it would be funny how he’s trying to mask his surprise if Dex weren’t this thrumming combination of ready nerves and desperation, dying for Nursey to get his hands back on him, wishing this were easy. Nursey’s face is in that gentle, diplomatic expression he gets when he's trying to navigate an unexpected situation and it's clear to Dex that clarification is necessary.
“No, oh my God, Nurse, I’m not a virgin.”
"Oh," Nursey says, and lets out a relieved sigh. “Okay,” he says, smiling. “I mean, it would be okay if you w—”
“I’m not,” Dex cuts him off, rolling his eyes. Nursey chuckles.
“Yeah, I guess I should’ve known, you went out with that guy for a while in the fall, the Anth. major.” Nursey moves in close again, pulling Dex back into his body with hands at his waist.
“Right,” Dex says.
“So,” Nursey says, mouth so close Dex can feel his breath on his cheek. “What’s up? Something’s on your mind.”
“Jason and I never really-we never really got there. And, like I’ve done it before, okay, I’m not some virginal… virgin, okay, I just. You know," Jesus, why is it so hard to talk about this stuff? His face is hot and he just knows he's red up to his ears. "Back home I’m not really, you know. Out. And so I just hooked up with guys, like, on the low-down, kind of.”
“The low-down ?” Nursey laughs again.
“Do you need to criticize my phrasing right now dude?”
“No, sorry, sorry, keep going.”
“Well, yeah. I just never… did it with, like, a boyfriend.” It sounds anticlimactic and dumb like that, when he says it out loud, but Nursey just looks at him. He's looking too intently, like he’s seeing some deep shit or something, and Dex has to look away. “Look, it’s not a big deal, it’s just something kind of new for me, but you don’t need to be dramatic about—” and then Nursey’s kissing Dex, hard.
“I get it,” Nursey says, pulling away to breathe against Dex’s cheek. He pauses, talks slowly and insistently. “This stuff is important.” Dex doesn’t know what to say to that, so he leans in to feel Nursey’s mouth on his again. It's like before but even more, both scrambling to touch and move and create friction. His hands can't decide where they want to rest and so they don't, they keep moving over Nursey's ass and his back and his neck and his hair. Nursey's pushing into the kiss, hands on Dex's shoulders pressing, stepping forward until Dex can feel his back meet the wall. Grabs Dex's shoulder and kisses him so he's pressed up against the wall, and stuck here, Nursey's body feels incredibly big and sturdy against his, holding him still and sucking at his jaw. Dex feels oddly self conscious when Nursey tugs his T-shirt over his head runs his hand down Dex's exposed chest, and has to remind himself that he's an athlete and hours upon hours of grueling practice mean he shouldn't have to worry about that. Nursey's stroking down his stomach in a way that's too soft, too sweet, and Dex shoves him close again.
“Don’t be careful,” Dex says, scrambling to unbutton Nursey’s shirt, mouthing down the right side of his neck. It would be faster if he stopped and looked at what he was doing, but that doesn’t feel worth it.
He doesn't want to be treated like some innocent girl on prom night, he just wants—everything. “I-I” he, stops, sucks on smooth skin and imagines he can feel Nursey’s pulse on his tongue, “I fucking want you so bad.” It’s clumsy dirty talk, he knows, but it's all he can manage right now. His cock, which softened a little during when they veered into emotional territory, is right back in the game, and he wants more skin, more pressure, now.
“Don’t worry,” Nursey says with feeling, kicking off his pants, and Dex can’t tell if he’s trying to be reassuring, knowing Dex is still anxious, still, so desperate to do well, or if he’s telling Dex he won’t be careful, won't go easy on him, in, like, a sexy way. Maybe it’s both. God, could it be both? Whatever he means, the darkening of his eyes when Dex tugs down his boxers makes Dex’s cock throb.
“Bed?” Dex suggests.
“Bed,” Nursey, confirms, and next thing Dex knows, he’s on his back with Nursey above him, straddling his hips, sans any clothes. Nursey grinds down just as Dex grinds up and jesus it’s so good.
“Do you want to fuck me?” Nursey says. The drag of his cock is so distracting it takes Dex a second to process it, but when he does he can’t help but thrust up frantically. The way Nursey just says what he wants, what he wants to do, like “ do you want to fuck me” , drives Dex crazy. His hand tightens on Nursey’s hips, needing more contact. He gets it together enough to nod in a way that he knows is too fast, too eager, but he can’t stop himself. Nursey leans back to spill a packet of lube on his fingers and reaches behind himself. Dex watches his eyes flutter and wishes he could see, but at the same time is thankful he can’t—if he could see Nursey putting his own strong, confident fingers into his ass, he’d probably come on the spot.
Dex isn’t far from coming as it is. He knows he should hold off, but he can’t stop from grabbing his cock and stripping it fast and hard as he looks at Nursey’s face, as he thinks about how Nursey’s getting ready to take his cock inside of him. He loses track of time a little, jerking off, watching Nursey and watching Nursey watch him. He can't explain why it's so hot to have Nursey watch him touch himself, to have Nursey see how bad he wants it, but it is.
Then Nursey says, “I’m good,” and, looking at Dex, he grabs Dex’s cock and rubs the leftover lube on it. Then he’s over Dex again, positioning his body and guiding Dex’s cock, and Dex has to lean up and kiss him right then. It jostles his cock out of position, but he just needed feel Nursey’s lips one more time before—
“I got you,” Nursey says, mouth so close his lips brush Dex's when he talks. It soothes something Dex doesn't quite understand. He lays back down, and Nursey rights himself before, finally, sinking down on Dex’s cock.
It’s so, so good, and Dex wants to move, but his aborted thrust up makes him suddenly aware of Nursey’s hands, strong on his hips, holding him down. He needs more, but the urge he feels in his body is futile. Nursey is warm and wet around him, and Dex thinks maybe he’d like to have his fingers open Nursey up next time, feel him inside, but then Nursey moves and all Dex can think about is this time, and how his cock is literally inside of Nursey, how Nursey wanted his cock inside of him, told Dex that he wanted that. Nursey sort of moans as he pulls all the way off, and then drops back on. He does this sort of grinding type of thing that Dex isn’t sure of the logistics is, but is so, so into.
“Good?” Nursey asks. Is he kidding?
“Uh, yeah,” Dex breathes, “duh.” Nursey grinds down hard. “Really good. You?”
Nursey smiles. “Yeah." He starts moving up and down a little. Dex's body is still straining to fuck up into him, but Nursey just keeps holding him down, which makes Dex even more desperate, gets him close to the edge. Dex is getting worried that this’ll be over in a few short moments before—
Wait, what? All of a sudden, his dick is fucking cold. His dick is wet with lube and hard beyond belief and just about ready to give in and all he can feel is the cool air of the room around him.
“What the fuck?”
Nursey’s holding himself just above Dex, thick thighs not even trembling.
“You were close,” he says.
“Yeah,” Dex says stubbornly. That’s normal, right? Sure, it was kind of soon, but Nursey was fucking riding his cock. “What’s up?” He asks shortly, fighting off shame and embarrassment. Nursey's probably not close at all, probably wanted—
Nursey leans down and kisses him. His body grazes Dex’s cock maddeningly. “I love that. I love how much you want it. But we’re not done yet.” He sits back up and straddles Dex again. “This is my first time with you. I want it to last.” The feeling Dex gets when he says that is deep in his stomach. When he was younger, he was used to sex being swift and secret. This openness, this security he acts like he doesn’t need—and maybe he doesn't need it, but something in him craves it, has for a long time, and having it—it’s almost uncomfortable, overwhelming. He’s spared getting too in his head by Nursey, finally, sinking back down on his cock. And then he’s right back in the moment. Anyone who has trouble living in the moment, he thinks in his last moment of clarity, should try anal sex.
It’s even better the second time, or maybe it just feels that way because it’s happening now. Nursey’s riding him hard, with his hand jerking himself in rhythm. His left hand comes up to kind of crush his hair through his fingers. Dex knows it’s bad, but the thought runs through his head that Nursey looks like fucking porn. But even as he thinks it, he knows this so much better. It might be Dex’s imagination, but when Nursey groans Dex swears to god he can feel the vibrations in his cock.
"Like it like this?" Nursey asks, and all Dex can get out is an, affirmative,
"Uh," but he knows Nursey knows damn well that he does. Nursey laughs, spits in his right hand, and reaches up to rub at Dex's nipple, twisting just a little, resulting in a just as illiterate, "ah!" and Dex's hips jerking up asymmetrically on the side Nursey's not holding him down. Nurse's hand returns to his hip and all Dex can do is throw his head back and give himself over to this feeling.
Then Nursey pulls off.
"Are you kidding?" Dex whines. He gets that Nursey's doing this fancy stuff and trying to make it special and he appreciates it, he does, but God, he wants to come, and it was so, so good.
"Nope," Nursey answers succinctly, but then he's back on Dex's cock, and he feels downright hot inside, and maybe Nursey's on to something, because every time he just feels better, impossibly tight and perfect, and—gone. That couldn't even have been thirty fucking seconds!
“I want—" Dex says, can't help himself. He thinks he's shaking, his feels tight and strung-out all over, aching for it. Nursey, poised above him, is just grinning down at him, not helping the matter at all.
"What do you want?"
"You-fucking-," Dex utters. "I want to come,” he says loud, demanding. Desperate.
“Don’t worry, you’ll come,” Nursey answers, looking unbearably smug. Infuriating.
“I want to come now, asshole!"
“Uh-uh,” Nursey says. He reaches down and rubs Dex's over-sensitized cock with his knuckles.
“Fuck you,” Dex gasps. His body’s confused, the touch too much and not enough.
“You love it,” Nursey grins down at him. And Dex can feel his blush spread down his chest, because they both know that he really does.
Nursey reaches down and grabs his cock by the base and moves to take him in, and when he stops with just the tip inside Dex wants to fucking scream. In fact, while he doesn’t quite scream, he does vaguely notice a kind of “ah-ah-ahh,” sound come out of him, and he definitely notices the responding “mmmm” from Nursey, biting his lips. His lips look so soft, and his teeth so insistent, and even though Dex is 100% focused on getting his dick back in Nursey’s ass, he can feel some small part of that focus getting diverted to wanting to kiss Nursey.
“You think I should fuck myself on your cock again, Dex?” And he's 100% focused on Nursey's ass again.
“You know what I want,” He says.
“You think I should let you come inside me?” Nursey asks him, and with that smile again, those sharp white teeth. Dex doesn’t bother responding, although his dick is moved to a pained twitch.
“You wanna know a secret?”
“You’re an asshole?”
Nursey just laughs. He sinks down on Dex’s dick again, thank god, and lowers himself down over Dex’s body, draping himself so he can just whisper in Dex’s ear,
“I want that too. I want to fuck myself on your cock and for you to come in me,” and it’s all Dex can do to not reverse the order on those couple of things, to not fucking lose it right then and there, but holds on by a thread. Nursey’s playing for keeps now, apparently, and he moves back up to bounce on Dex’s cock again. He keeps doing it, too, with increasing speed, even as Dex starts to make increasingly desperate, telling noises. Nursey’s gotta know he’s close, that he’s about to come, and Dex should just go for it, after all the trouble Nursey’s given him. He just do it and fuck if Nursey getss what he wants, but somehow something makes him—
“Yeah you are,” says Nursey. “Fuck,” But that isn’t enough.
“Is it good if I-if I—”
Nursey’s hand is stripping his own cock fast now, really, really fast, “Oh God. Yeah Dex, do it, fucking go, fucking go,” and then Nursey goes, and that’s the last shot, him telling Dex to let go and covering Dex’s chest in his come and frankly either of those things would elicit an orgasm by themselves, but together, Dex has no hope, and he comes hard, his curling and body tensing hard in pleasure-pain release. It takes at least minute for either of them to catch their breath.
Nursey lets his body collapse onto Dex, and he has a phantom urge to bitch about how heavy he is, but for now he just lets himself enjoy it. Worn out, Dex can feel himself starting to drift off, but makes himself fight off sleep to ask,
"Was that-was it good for you?" He just needs to make sure.
"Are you kidding?" Nursey repeats back at him, and Dex kicks him because that's not an answer and he's too tired to fuck around.
"Yeah," Nursey says. "Yeah, Dex, it was really good for me." Dex breathes out deep and lets himself sleep.