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Shadow Jane Shepard and the Insane Adventures

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-Set in 2 and after the loyalty missions for each character-

 

(Samara)

 

Shepard often comes to see me as I meditate. Some visits she tries to meditate as well before she gets distracted by something or gets called away by someone; some visits she simply looks out into the expanse of space with tears unshed; other visits she brings a datapad to read or work off of and sits to the side, not to bother me.

 

Occasionally, she will want to talk. This seems to be one of those visits.

 

She is a respectful woman, normally she waits for me to notice her, but today is different.

 

“...Samara?” The Commander asks hesitantly from her spot nearby.

 

I relax and blink to focus on her. “Yes?”

 

She fidgets and appears to be struggling to maintain eye contact as she asks her next question. “...D-do... Do you think...” She looks to be rethinking how to word what she is trying to say. “Did it seem like Liara hates me?”

 

The young maiden on Illium. Shepard and her were together before...

 

“No.” I tell her. “I think she is more, how to put this... unsure of things. You were dead for two years, Shepard. That is a lot of grief for your young lover to handle. She still cares for you, but she is still unsure if you are really you. Cerberus has been known to do despicable things.”

 

“But I’m still me!” Her voice raises slightly.

 

I can see the pain on her face as she processes what I have said.

 

“From what I have gathered you are still you. Please do not yell.” She mumbles an apology and I continue as I rest a hand on her shoulder momentarily. “Give her time and reason to believe in you.”

 

“I...” Her short red hair shifts a little as she hangs her head to hide her eyes. “It’s hard. For me it’s only been about a week since w-we were... and now...” The SpecTRe trails off as she looks out the window and sighs. “Thanks, Samara... I-I need to...” Another sigh as she gets up and straightens out her uniform. “...think, I guess.”

 

“May you and your bondmate find peace, one way or another.” I say quietly as the door closes behind the human. “You deserve that much before this suicide mission comes to an end.”

 

—————

 

(Mordin)

 

Shepard enters in the science jumpsuit she usually wears when stopping by my lab.

 

“Hello, Shadow.” I greet as I watch the data in front of me.

 

She told me that she’d prefer to be called by her first name by people. Being called Shepard just doesn’t really feel right. Thats the name that was given to her by the orphanage she spent some of her childhood in. Jane Shepard. The gangs on earth gave her the name Shadow which she would rather go by.

 

“Just in time to help. Data almost complete. Needs careful inspection.” I tell her and shift so she can join me in looking at the screen.

 

“You know I love helping you out, Mordin.” She chuckles even as I can tell something is bothering her and looks at the screen. “Is this DNA?”

 

“Yes.” I keep my answer short as I turn away from her. “A comparison of a human’s genetic code from two years ago and today.”

 

“Mordin.” She states simply and I look back to her knowing she has figured it out.

 

“Yes, it is yours.” I look at the green eyes currently narrowed at me and continue. “Found no differences. Wanted to show you. Possibly show your mate?”

 

“What?” She takes a step back.

 

“Your mate. The asari on Illium.”

 

Her face goes red, but tears well. “Oh, Mordin...” She wipes at her eyes. “Liara and I are... I-I don’t know what we are at this point.”

 

“You still love her, yes?” I ask and shift my equipment away from her subtly wanting to avoid any damage from her tears that may occur.

 

“Of course I do!” She shouts and tears run down her face even as she attempts to wipe them away. “I don’t know if I can do this... She was amazing. Around her... I wasn’t Commander Shepard; I wasn’t the Sole Survivor of Akuze! Even my burden as humanity’s first SpecTRe disappeared! I-I was just Shadow.” She takes a shaky breath and leans back against the wall. “I didn’t feel like I had to hide how scared I really was about everything going on... She just accepted it all.”

 

The woman slides down the wall to be seated on the floor just staring at the opposite wall as she speaks.

 

“I fell hard and fast for her. I miss her... a lot, Mordin.” Her eyes meet mine again briefly. “A-at least she is safe... Maybe this is for the best.”

 

“Shado-“ I try, but she cuts me off.

 

“No, Mordin! We could die ! I-I wouldn’t be able to leave her with all that grief again ! N-not again... I hurt her enough when I died the first time...”

 

A silence falls over us until Yeoman Chambers enters. Probably alerted by EDI to our raised voices.

 

“Commander, is everything alright?” The orange haired human asks.

 

Shadow just stands up and wipes her face on her sleeve. “It’s fine, Kelly.” She pushes past the other human.

 

“Shepard?” The Yeoman asks after her and looks to me when she is ignored. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing.” I cover, knowing full well that while the woman means well, she will report anything to the Illusive Man. “Just a chat between friends. Topics were brought up. Sensitive ones.”

—————

 

(Jack)

 

“Why’re you here?” I ask the Vanguard who has just been sitting on a crate, lost in thought, in the corner of my little area for the past half hour.

 

Bitch’s ignoring me...

 

“Jack?” She speaks up. Finally.

 

Or not...

 

“Yeah?” I sit up in my cot, setting the datapad I was reading from aside.

 

“How do you block out everything? All your emotions and that shit?” She sighs. “Between losing the original Normandy, losing Liara, and this damned mission... I-I just...”

 

“You don’t.” I admit. “You channel that rage and emotion to move forward.”

 

That gets a chuckle from her as she smiles weakly at me, finally not trying to stare the floor into submission.

 

“Make it sound so easy.”

 

I sigh and stand next to her. “It’s not easy. I would know.”

 

She snorts and I have the faintest urge to punch her in the face, but not as much as before. Before I got to know her. Before she helped me blow up that fucking lab. Before she had me spare that man.

 

I shake my head slightly to clear those thoughts. “We survive this shit, you can go hide away with your lover all you want. ‘til then, you need to focus.”

 

“You do care.” She taunts me with a smirk.

 

“No!” I yell. “I’m not gonna die because you’re too fucking mopey!”

 

“Suuurrreeeee.” She teases and heads to the stairs, stopping at the bottom step and getting serious again. “Thanks, Jack...”

With that she leaves me alone again.

 

“Stupid fucking bitch.” I grumble before sighing. “Whatever.”

 

————

 

(Tali)

 

“Shadow, I am still unsure about your choice to keep the geth.” I say as I work.

 

“Legion is part of our team, Tali.” She responds while inspecting the drive core. “I believe that he is different then the others. And we did reprogram  them.”

 

“I get that, but still...”

 

“Tali.” Her glare stops me as we turn to face each other.

 

“Fine.”

 

I continue working and I almost miss it when she speaks next. It is so quiet.

 

“Do you miss Liara?”

 

“Of course I miss my best friend. Definitely not as much as you miss her, but I do miss her, too.” I tell her and set down the tool I was using. “You should call her.”

 

“Call her?” She asks and I nod when she glances at me. “And what would I say in this call?”

 

“Ask her on a date.” I say simply and move to stand closer to her.

 

“She’s so busy though...” The human mumbles out excuses.

 

“Shadow.”

 

“A-and so are we...”

 

“Shepard!”

 

This gets her attention as her eyes narrow at me.

 

“I told you not to call me that. I am only Shepard because I needed a last name when I filled out paperwork to enlist in the Alliance. So I used the name I was given in the orphanage. I hate it.” Her voice is pretty much a growl. “I am Shadow before I am Shadow Jane Shepard.”

 

“I just was trying to get your attention.” I calm her and she lets go of her anger with a ‘sorry’. “You should really call her though.”

 

“Shepard, we are currently en route to Illium. I believe you should take Tali’Zorah’s suggestion to call Dr. T’Soni.” EDI interject and I watch Shadow think for a moment.

 

“Alright... I’ll do it.” She says and looks over to EDI’s glowing form. “Tell Miranda to watch the CIC for a bit longer please. I-I guess I have a call to make.”

Chapter Text

Biktor Boktor the Space Hamster

 

-Right after Lair of the Shadow Broker-

 

(Shepard)

 

After last night, I am feeling great. I wish Liara could come with us, but she has her own thing now as the Shadow Broker.

“Biktor Boktor! G’morning, little bud!” I say as I get out the food for the Space Hamster, expecting him to rush out of his little home in his cage.

But he doesn’t.

“Biktor?” I say his name again as I take the cage off the little shelf and set it on my desk. “You okay in there?”

Opening the cage up, I find it empty. No hamster.

“NOT AGAINNNNNN!!!!” I groan and start the hunt for the little bastard.

 

 

(Biktor Boktor) –Yes, the hamster’s pov! DEAL WITH IT! XD

 

This is far from the first time I have managed to get out of that stupid cage. Sadly, I am usually caught shortly after. The human with the red hair seems to forget Space Hamsters are rather smart or at least smarter then hamsters on Earth.

I know she takes me with her around the ship all the time, but I’d rather explore then just ride on her shoulder as she goes about her day.

Today, though, I have managed to get free and follow the blue creature the red haired human seems so fond of. I snuck out of the ship onto her own ship before I was noticed by a glowing thing.

“Shadow Broker, you seem to have something following you.” It says, rather chipper.

The blue creature looks behind herself and then down at me when I squeak, rather annoyed at being discovered so quickly. My adventure had just begun on this new ship.

“Shadow’s hamster?” The creature says and picks me up. “How did you get through the airlock without being seen?”

I just squeak at her before running up her arm to sit on her shoulder like I do my red haired human.

 

 

 

(Shepard)

 

“Shepard, you have a call coming in. Shall I patch it through in your cabin?” EDI asks over the speaker as I am searching for Biktor in the cargo hold.

“Is it someone I need to talk to right now?” I ask back and sit up properly from looking under the shuttle.

“I believe Dr. T’Soni is on your ‘respond immediately’ list, Shepard.”

I nearly knock my head on a pile of boxes as I rush to stand up and run to the elevator.

“Put it through in my cabin.” I tell the AI as I unconsciously run my fingers through my short hair, as if it would fix the always messy look it has. “Please.”

(One elevator ride later)

“Liara, I love talking to you, but we just saw each other yesterday.” I say as she appears on the screen. “You miss me that much already?”

My grin only grows as I see her fighting the smile.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” I ask after I realize we are both kind of just watching each other with dumb, lovestruck smiles.

She opens her mouth to say something when a squeak cuts her off and a little shape comes out from behind her arm.

“BIKTOR BOKTOR! There you are!” I yell as the little bastard puts his face in front of the camera, so he is taking up most the screen.

“Yes, he is why I am calling. I do not know how he got off the Normandy without anyone noticing.”  My lover tells me as she moves the squeaking rodent who seems a bit annoyed at her out of blocking the way. “How far are you? I don’t exactly have the supplies to care for a Space Hamster.”

“EDI?” I ask the AI that I know is listening. “How far out are we?”

“We should be able to make it back to the Shadow Broker base within a 4 hours, Shepard.” The mechanical voice answers and I look back at Liara to make sure she heard it. “Shall I tell Joker to change our course?”

“Please do.” I say. “But tell him it is for important info or something. I don’t need to deal with him and his teasing right now.”

“Of course, Shepard.” The AI responds and then goes quiet again.

“See you soon, I guess.” I tell my lover with a grin.

Chapter Text

Quiet... Please... Make it Stop

 

(Shepard)

 

“Quiet... Please... Make it stop.” I hear over and over when I try to sleep. “...It all seemed harmless...”

 

David is recovering in the Med-bay being watched over by Chakwas while we fly to Grissom Academy. I stayed in there with him for many hours just sitting quietly while he lay unconscious thanks to the sedatives the doctor gave him.

 

“How could someone be so cruel...?” I ask my empty cabin and shake my head to try and clear my thoughts. “I’m not going to be getting any rest.”

 

I bump into Tali as I walk around the mess.

 

“Can’t sleep either?” She asks and I nod. “David?” I simply nod again. “Want to talk about it?”

 

I think briefly about saying no and leaving, but I know Tali would understand.

 

“Sure.” I tell her and sit at the table and she sits across from me. “Back... back on Earth, there were a couple individuals with... similar... ‘conditions’ to David that I knew from my time in the Fifth Street Reds.”

 

“Similar?”

 

“Autism is not really a single disability. It affects different people in different ways. Its more commonly referred to as ASD or the autism spectrum.” I sigh and avoid looking at Tali, instead tapping my fingers on the table. “Would you believe I have autism myself?”

 

“You do?” She asks, now curious.

 

“Yes.” I answer quietly and finally look at her. “For me, it is... Not as much of a ‘disability’ though it is still classified as one.” I chuckle. “Only Dr. Chakwas, Liara, and now you know that. I mean, the Alliance and I’m sure Cerberus know, but its really just only on my medical records.”

 

Silence settles around us for a while before Tali speaks up again.

 

“Does it make it harder for you and Liara to... meld?”

 

“No, actually she’s said it is quite the opposite. And that is all I will say.” I look over at the Med-bay.

 

I’m still looking through the window at the body laying on one of the beds when I feel Tali’s hand on mine.

 

“You got him out of there. He is safe now, Shadow.” She says.

 

“How could Archer do that...?” I ask and feel my eyes stinging with tears I refuse to shed as my anger at Archer returns. “What the fuck made him think forcing his brother into an experiment like that was a great idea?!”

 

“I don’t know. And the only one who would have that answer is Archer.”

 

“But, why didn’t any of the other scientists try to stop him?!” I catch myself and my raised voice. “Sorry, I... I’m sorry for yelling. I... I should go.”

 

Chapter Text

Mother’s Day

 

(Shadow)

 

On Earth it is Mother’s Day. Normally, I don’t care much for holidays, but this one is different.

 

“Happy Mother’s Day, Karin.” I say to the doctor as I hand her a handful of flowers and a bottle of brandy. “Thanks for putting up with our bullshit.”

 

“Thank you, Commander.” She smiles and takes the flowers. “I’m surprised you took the time to come and give me these instead of staying with your wife and little Celestia all day.”

 

I rub the back of my neck. “Well, uh... Grunt came to me earlier and gave me a present because I helped him find his place in the galaxy and he researched that that is what mom’s usually do for their children. It, um, made me realize that you are pretty much the closest thing to a ‘mom’ that I’ve ever had... I know I gave you presents on Mother’s Day all the past years, but that was because you acted like the mom of the ship... uh, yeah...”

 

“You can be such a sweetheart, Shadow.” Chakwas tells me with a smirk and moves to hug me. It is unexpected, so I freeze up a bit. “Is this not okay?” She asks, knowing my issues with physical contact.

 

“N-no, it’s fine. Just didn’t expect it.” I tell her and return the hug. “...Thank you.”

 

“For?”

 

“For being there for me when I needed advice and all that shit.” I say and pull back.

 

“You’re welcome.” She says with a gentle smile before the smirk returns. “Now, go be with your family!”

 

“You are part of that family, Karin!” I say back with a chuckle as the woman shoves at my shoulder jokingly to get me to go. “Okay, okay! I’m going!”

 

 

Father’s Day

 

(Shadow)

 

“Why are you here?” The matriarch asks me as I stand there in front of the bar she is working at now.

 

“I have something for you.” I tell her and set the small vase of flowers on the bar. “Dunno how much you know of human holidays, but...”

 

“Father’s Day.” Aethyta cuts me off and I nod.

 

She seems hesitant to grab the vase, but does so anyway.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.” I tell her. “Liara, Celestia, and I are planning to go out tonight for a nice dinner, if you’d like to join us.”

Chapter Text

After

(5 months after the defeat of the Reapers, Shepard)

 

I am sitting up in my bed in the makeshift hospital when they set someone on the bed next to mine in the only “private” room in the place.

 

“Commander Shepard, you’re awake today!” The nurse says as she sees me watching her set up the medical machines for the new person. “Th-this is...”

 

She trails off when the horribly burned (though not as bad as I was when they first found me, but still pretty bad) person starts coughing and their eyes open. Light green eyes . Exactly like mine.

 

When the person shifts ever so slightly, I can see the remnants of what was once a head of red hair.

 

The clone . She survived?!

 

“Ghost. Her name is Ghost Jenn Shepard. M-my sister.” I tell the nurse, unsure why I’m even giving the woman who tried to steal my life a chance at a normal life of her own.

 

Or as normal as life can be right now.

 

It must be the scarring on my face that makes it hard for the nurse to see my confusion at my own actions as she simply accepts it and hurries out of the room to tend other patients.

 

“Wh-why?” The clone, newly named Ghost, asks weakly as she tries to face me more, but gives up with a grimace. Deciding to just turn her head a bit more.

 

“I...” I look out the broken window at the restoration efforts. “I really don’t know...” I sigh and turn back to her, smiling with my missing teeth and my cybernetics showing through in places. “Dyin’ once then almost again... gives you a new look at things.”

 

Ghost snorts. Of course she would know almost dying, too. She did fall from the Normandy even though I tried to help her up.

 

“H-how’d you survive fallin’ from the ship?” I ask hesitantly.

 

“I crashed into a hotel. Managed to somehow go through a window and land on a bed... Still had some pretty bad injuries to the face and, well, everywhere... So no one realized I was...”

 

“...my clone...” I finish for her and get a nod.

 

“Only after the owner had taken me to the hospital and I started healin’ did they question things... There was one doctor who I think figured it out before I had to escape. Dr. Michel I think her name was.”

 

I snort and the woman turns her head more to me before remembering how limited her movements are right now as she lets out a small sound of pain and winces.

 

“How’d you get to Earth?” I ask and she sighs, but its more a wheeze.

 

How is she still awake? If she’s in that much pain...

 

“Stowed away on one of the last ships that left before the arms started closin’.”

 

Silence falls over us and I return to watching the work outside. Eventually, I look back to her to find she had fallen asleep.

 

Good. We both need to rest.

 

I just can’t... Not when the Normandy hasn’t been seen since before the energy wave took out the Reapers.

 

 

(6 more months later)

 

Hackett marches into the room and gives me a smile, nodding to Ghost when she takes note of him before returning to the datapad she was reading some old book from.

 

“Smiles mean good news, right?” I ask hopefully, trying not to seem too eager, though  I don’t think Hackett would judge. He’s seen me through too much.

 

“Yes, Shepard... Shadow.” He corrects himself remembering that there is now two Shepards and we are both in the room. “Your, um, bondmate.”

 

I cut him off with an excited “Liara?!”.

 

“Yes, she managed to get a message to us. The Normandy is on its way to Earth. Says Joker believes it should be no more then another week.”

 

It feels like my grin is pulling at some of the still freshly healed parts of my face, but I don’t care. My love will be here soon.

 

“Your asari? Right?” Ghost asks after Hackett has said his goodbyes, needing to get back to the reconstruction.

 

“Yes.” I tell her happily and squirm a little, ignoring the protests of all my muscles and the still healing parts of my body.

 

“Must be very important to you.” She mumbles and I notice how sad she seems.

 

No, not sad... lonely?

 

“Hey.” I get her attention. “You ok?”

 

All I get is a curt “yeah.”. And I know she is lying. I know me (us?) too well.

 

“I-I know you’re lyin’...” I start and chuckle at her shock. “We’re almost the same person ‘memeber? I know how I get when I’m upset ‘bout something... But I won’t push you to tell me. If you wanna, though... I’m here.”

 

Silence reigns and I begin to think she has gone to sleep again, but I find her looking at me, deep in thought.

 

“You... you have your crew. You have the Admiral. You have every person you have helped over the years... I-I... I have no one.” She finally says. “You were right when we were fighting... I just had minions. No real friends. No one.”

 

“Hey.” I get her attention this way again and smile gently. “You’ve got me. I pretty much told them you are my family, so...”

 

 

(A week later)

 

I can’t stop my excitement. Ghost keeps laughing at me, but it usually ends with her coughing pretty bad. Her healing is taking longer then mine.

 

Miranda was able to restart most of my cybernetics and replaced as best she could the ones that were too broken from the energy blast. Too bad nothing can really be done for my couple missing fingers and my right leg that had to be cut off just after the knee. My pinky toe on my remaining foot is gone too. Miranda said I might be able to get a prosthetic leg eventually, but for now we gotta wait and see if everything else heals good first.

 

“Shepard!” I hear the voice I’ve been waiting for as something blue rushes in and ends up in my lap, sobbing into my chest. “You’re alive!”

 

“Yes, I am, babe.” I say and hold her against me as best I can.

 

“I-I’d give you two space, but... Uhhh...” Ghost says and looks terrified when Liara notices her.

 

“What is she doing here?” She practically growls and I hold her as tight as I can to hold her back.

 

“Babe, meet Ghost Jenn Shepard. Ghost, Liara.” I say and my lover looks at me in shock. “Yes, I know, but I did.” I tell her, already knowing what she is going to say.

 

 

“Um, hi. I guess you’re my sister-in-law?” Ghost says and waves her hand that isn’t still in a cast awkwardly.

 

“Sister-in...?”

 

“I may have told the nurse that brought her in that she is my sister.” I explain.

 

“Excuse me.” Garrus says from the doorway as he holds a bundle in his arms. “I know you wanted some more time before I brought her in, Liara. But, Little Blue had other ideas. She was getting antsy. Crying for her mother.”

 

Sure enough the little bundle lets out a small cry and my love gets up fast to take it from him.

 

“I-is that...?” I ask in awe as she returns to sitting on the edge of my bed and I cam see the little asari in the blanket swaddle.

 

“Yes, our daughter.” She laughs a little at my shock and sets the now quiet and curious bundle in my arms.

 

“H-hey there...” I get out before tears begin to spill.

 

Chapter Text

(Shepard)

 

“Ow! Owowowowww! Let go please!” I beg and try to pry little blue fingers from my hair. “Please...”

 

Celestia just laughs and tugs harder causing me to let out an embarrassing whimper.

 

I hear the bathroom door open and look up as best I can.

 

“Help.” I beg and my bondmate rushes over as our daughter tugs at my hair again. “Ow! St-strong grip.”