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Hetalia Snip-Bits

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Hetalia Snip-bits

 

-{[(1)]}-

 

Germany had found that Italy really like to tan.

 

The red headed man would set up a chair just about anywhere there was sunlight and tear off his shirt.

 

Germany had also found that Italy liked to tan in the backyard.

 

Naked.

 

-{[(2)]}-

 

France was scrolling around on his computer when he found the interesting information.

 

"Britain!" He called in his think French accent. "Come over 'ere!"

 

The Englishman rolled his eyes and approached. He leaned over France's shoulder to see the computer screen.

 

"Pop culture is often a reflection of a country's feelings, non?" France questioned. When England nodded, he continued, "Well, it seems that the most popular type of song in America is romantic one. You can hear it on almost any station, in any genre."

 

England just scowled.

 

France smirked and concluded his little speech.

 

"I wonder who l'amerique has feelings for."

 

-{[(3)]}-

 

England slapped America upside the head. "Stop texting, you twat."

 

"I wasn't texting, dude!" America whined and rubbed the back of his head.

 

"You were," the green eye man argued. "No one looks at their crotch and smiles."

 

-{[(4)]}-

 

Since he was so easily forgotten, Canada liked to observe others and learn funny little things they did without knowing.

 

Germany ran his hand through his hair every three minutes and seven seconds exactly.

 

France had a habit of glancing under the table at the people sitting next to him.

 

Russia only stopped smiling creepily for four seconds every Wednesday morning at nine o'clock.

 

And...

 

Prussia liked to make his hands kiss when he thought no one was looking...

 

-{[(5)]}-

 

Japan's eyes widened when a cat jumped out of no where to catch the bullet that had just been shot at him.

 

The Asian island nation glanced around anxiously, now aware of hundreds of cats hiding in the bushes and trees surrounding him.

 

He now knew what Greece meant when he said he was "always with him..."

 

-{[(6)]}-

 

Sometimes China just liked to sit down and read a good book.

 

And sometimes his little brothers and sisters liked to find ways to interrupt him.

 

-{[(7)]}-

 

Norway didn't particularly think that he much cared for anyone at all.

 

Denmark had always been good at finding ways to change his mind.

 

-{[(8)]}-

 

Spain once asked Romano why he was so quiet when he was in church. Romano had turned red and cursed quietly.

 

The Spaniard immediately understood.

 

-{[(9)]}-

 

America often has Canada over to listen to fun music and play the latest video games.

 

They had both agreed to never listen to Justin Bieber. Just as a general concept.

 

-{[(10)]}-

 

One could easily find England laughing hysterically by himself in his room.

 

-{[(11)]}-

 

Japan and America liked to compare heavy metal styles in the corner after meetings.

 

-{[(12)]}-

 

Germany and Italy once held a race to see who was really the best driver.

 

They decided that the results couldn't really be determined...

 

-{[(13)]}-

 

France once found out what yaoi was.

 

When he asked China, the poor country just blushed bright pink and silently left the room.

 

When he asked Hungary, she fainted out of sheer happiness and over excitement.

 

When he asked America, the blonde nation just offered a few websites.

 

France vowed to monitor American websites more closely in the future...

 

-{[(14)]}-

 

On many a Sunday, the Catholic nations had been seen attending church services together.

 

-{[(15)]}-

 

Hong Kong had a storage room full of explosives labeled 'England's Birthday.'

 

-{[(16)]}-

 

Mexico only knew Canada because every spring, America invited the North American countries to his place for a special get together. It was just cold enough for the Canadian, and just warm enough for the Mexican. It was the only time they really ever saw each other.

 

-{[(17)]}-

 

More than a few countries had been surprised when America suddenly whipped out his phone and wanted to take a 'selfie.'

 

-{[(18)]}-

 

Russia and China spent their lunch breaks during meetings together. They meandered around the building and talked about lazy topics like the weather and the economy... It was a perfect escape from their unusually hectic lives.

 

-{[(19)]}-

 

Spain once found the 'Delicious Tomato' song on YouTube...

 

-{[(20)]}-

 

Every month, a special package arrived for Hungary. From Japan.

 

Austria has never been allowed to see what is inside...

 

-{[(21)]}-

 

It was not very often that Austria visited his ex-husband to make sure Romano was alright. He could usually care less, having his own Italian to take care of, but every once in a while he decided to do something nice for the child and make sure that Spain hadn't killed him yet.

 

But when he heard groaning, moaning, whimpering, and strange thuds just inside Spain's house, he was afraid that something worse than death was happening.

 

"You're doing really great, Romano!" Spain called, sounding breathless.

 

"This-a really hurts," Romano complained quietly, also breathless.

 

"It's okay, Roma. It might hurt the first couple times, but it'll be better later," the Spaniard assured. "Now, take that, put it here, and you have to push really hard..."

 

Austria gaped at the door and started to feel a bit sick.

 

"I-I don't want to," Romano whispered tiredly. "This is taking forever!"

 

"Okay, then not much longer, alright?" Spain panted. "Now-"

 

"I got it, I got it! Shut up, already, eh?!" Romano cried. Something made a loud noise. Romano panted slightly. "L-like that?"

 

"No, Roma. Like this~!" Spain demonstrated apparently.

 

Austria's eyes widened.

 

The little Italian could be heard making strange noises.

 

"See? Now push!"

 

Spain and Romano gasped and panted, wheezing for air.

 

Austria, having heard enough, threw open the door and stormed in, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Spain! You sick, twisted-" The words died on his tongue.

 

The Spaniard and Italian were on opposite sides of the room; they each stood over oddly shaped barrels with sticks coming from the top.

 

"¿Qué? But I was just teaching Roma how to make butter~!"

 

-{[(22)]}-

 

"Arthur! Unlock the car!" Alfred hollered as he stared out at the pouring rain. He clutched the box tighter to his chest and prepared for what he was about to do.

 

"W-what?" The shorter blonde startled at the demand. He fumbled with his keys for a second before his car lit up, displaying that it was now unlocked.

 

"Okay! Okay! Whoo! Here we go!" The blue eyed male cheered as he shook himself out. Suddenly, he dashed out in the rain. "Sprinting noises! Sprinting noises!"

 

Green eyes stared in amusement and disbelief.

 

-{[(23)]}-

 

Several nations cursed the American nation as they were forced to patiently wait through eight showings of 'Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room.'

 

-{[(24)]}-

 

France suddenly shrieked and hid behind the table, quivering for all he was worth.

 

America had a gun. And his pants were sagging.

 

England sighed dejectedly and exited the room in a gentlemanly fashion, dragging Sealand along with him saying 'It's for your own good.'

 

America also had his hat on backwards and a gold dollar sigh necklace hanging loosing on his chiseled chest.

 

Canada just stared. He discretely reached into his back pocket for his own switchblade and sunglasses.

 

The tall, blonde nation (America) made a few hand gestures to the Italies, who just nodded silently and moved for their own weapons and 'personal' cell phones.

 

It was time to get the gang back together.

 

-{[(25)]}-

 

The first time France heard England listening to Adele on the Fourth of July, he thought it was a joke.

 

-{[(26)]}-

 

After another mysterious incident where China was somehow transformed into a female (although that still did not reveal his previous gender), Korea seemed like an extremely happy nation.

 

-{[(27)]}-

 

"MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME-"

 

"GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

 

-{[(28)]}-

 

"But Doitsu~" Italy cooed sweetly. "It's just my 'special' pasta!" He teasingly waved the fork in front of the blonde's face.

 

Germany squirmed in the metal chair, staring uncomfortably around the dark room before his eyes rested on the seemingly innocent plate of pasta in front of him. The crimson sauce wasn't nearly so innocent...

 

-{[(29)]}-

 

Latvia and Sealand watched in glee as the chaos unfolded in front of them. Explosions sounded in the distance, and gunshots rang through the air.

 

Soon, a girl in a fancy dress jogged up the hill towards them.

 

"I'm impressed," she blushed, the sounds of battle dying out. "It takes a lot to distract my brother that long..."

 

-{[(30)]}-

 

Lithuania and Poland sat quietly on the hill, munching on sweets and staring at clouds. The brunette slowly turned his gaze to his blonde friend.

 

'I like him so much. I hate it when we're apart. Could this be love?' He wondered. He blinked when the other male giggled before standing as dusting off his skirt.

 

"Liet~!" He sang. "You should, like, totally come back to my place so we can hang with my pony! Then you can, like, wash my belly!"

 

Lithuania sweat-dropped with a sigh.

 

'No. I just hate him so much I get confused sometimes...'

 

-{[(31)]}-

 

All America could do was pull out his camera when he found England in the empty classroom singing some One Direction songs. It took another two songs for the shorter blonde to notice his former colonies, and when he did, his reaction was not happy.

 

"YOU PUT THAT CAMERA AWAY RIGHT NOW!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO!! IT'S THE FANGIRLS I TELL YOU! THE FANGIRLS!"

 

After a long moment of silence, England exploded again.

 

"YOU DID THE SAME THING WITH THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!"

 

-{[(32)]}-

 

Italy has a collection of all the Disney movies under his bed; they're meant for those long nights where he can't get into Germany's bed...

 

-{[(33)]}-

 

"Hey, China," England called in a gentlemanly way. "Where's your panda? Is he alright?" The older Asian nation just smiled warmly.

 

"He's in the shop, getting some repairs, aru~!"

 

-{[(34)]}-

 

Romano coughed harshly and curled into a little ball. "Spain~" he whined. "My throat hurts~!" He looked up at the aforementioned brunette with tiny tears sparkling in his big olive eyes.

 

Antonio left a camera in the bedroom when he left to get the ailing nation some water and cough drops. Romano may never be this completely sweet ever again...

 

-{[(35)]}-

 

"Hey, Belarus~!"

 

"Big Brother! ...Why are you talking like that?"

 

"I thought you wanted to get marriedmarrymarriedmarrymemarriedmarryme-!"

 

"Big Brother!!"

 

"Bela-"

 

"NO! GO AWAY, BIG BROTHER! YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT! NO! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN-! DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR COAT!?! AHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

"..."

 

...

 

"Finally!!! Maybe now she'll leave me alone, da?"

 

-{[(36)]}-

 

The Allies and the Axis stared at the bushy-eyebrowed nation in confusion.

 

"Iggy... You do realize you just brought a knife to a gun fight, right?" The youngest blonde questioned. Arthur scoffed and glanced down at the sword he was holding.

 

"This is just any knife! It's Excalibur!"

 

Another long moment of silence.

 

-{[(37)]}-

 

France just sat back and watched when the five nations jumped up on the table and started screaming at each other in their country's language.

 

America was with the Italies, the three of them waving knifes and guns and briefcases. Russia and China were on the other side of the table; they inconsistently switched between yelling at each other and at the other three nations.

 

"Well," Germany sighed. "I guess that brings us to the topic of the mafias..."

 

-{[(38)]}-

 

France burst dramatically into the meeting room, dressed in his old armor from the Dark Ages. The other European nations instantly paled, but England progressively got worse as the blue eyed nation got closer.

 

"Filthy Englishman!" The blonde spat; his lips twitched up in a smile. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" Across the table, America burst into laughter.

 

The English island nation just turned bright red.

 

Quickly he jumped up and shouted, "You promised not to tell anyone about that!"

 

-{[(39)]}-

 

Russia stared at America as the shorter nation walked, clutching the front of his pant legs.

 

"Amerika, what are you doing?" Russia called.

 

The blonde nation froze and stared awkwardly at his large-nosed nemesis. He really didn't want to admit that he'd accidentally glued his hands to the front of his pants.

 

-{[(40)]}-

 

"GERMANY! GERMANY!" The Italian wailed across the phone. "JAPAN AND I WERE WONDERING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE PARTED MY CURL THE OTHER WAY AND NOW I'M A GIRL!!!! HELP ME, GER-"

 

The blond slammed the phone down on the receiver.