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RWBY and JNPR react to Dragon Ball Z Abridged

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Beacon Academy has been quiet since the Breach in Vale happened a few weeks ago. Students still arriving from the other Kingdoms, Atlas providing "security" over Vale with his fleet, and the teachers supervising hunter teams with training or small-scale missions, all but two, Teams RWBY & JNPR.

Ruby Rose was searching through YouTube for weapons on her scroll until she saw a playlist titled "Dragon Ball Z Abridged" from "Team Four Stars", filled with 60 episodes, 8 movies, 2 'in a nutshell' videos and 2 special videos.

"Hey guys, I've found this... series? on YouTube and it looks like an action comedy, so do you want to watch it?" Ruby questioned to her teammates.

"I'm game," Ruby's sister, Yang Xiao Long, answered, "as long as I get new jokes material if this is an action comedy."

"Well, we have nothing better to do." Ruby's partner, Weiss Schnee, inquired.

"I don't see why not," the cat Faunas, Blake Belladonna, stated as she was reading from her book, "and besides, we're still recovering her our mission from Mountain Glenn and the Breach incident."

"Oh, I'll go and ask it Jaune's team can watch it with us." the leader speeded off like a bullet.


A few minutes later


"Is everyone ready?" the crimsonette questioned as both teams RWBY & JNPR were sitting either on the floor or on Blake's or Weiss' beds. With Jaune and Pyrrha sitting next to each other on Blake's bed with Blake herself sitting opposite of Pyrrha. While Ren and Nora were on Weiss' bed. And finally Weiss, Ruby and Yang are sitting on the floor with bean bags, courtesy of Yang and Jaune.

"Alright, lets begin!"

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

"Wait, so this isn't owned by these 'Team Four Stars' guys?" Weiss and Blake questioned in unison.

"Apparently not." Yang stated.

(Scene opens up showing mountains followed by showing many wildlife until a Saiyan Space Pod comes crashing down at a distance, startling many ostriches and a farmer.)

FARMER: Oh God, no! My marijuana patch! I mean, er... my carrot patch... yeah! (thinking while driving towards the explosion) I better do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation: (pulls out a rifle) Get mah gun!

(Space Pod opens up in a shiny light and Raditz emerges)

SPACE POD: Hello, and welcome to Earth... With open bar.

FARMER: Holy crap, it’s Sonic the Hedgeho-- Eh, no, it’s an alien! Holy sh**, it’s an alien!

"W-was that a game character reference?" Jaune asked.

"Indeed it was, vomit boy." Yang joked with a dead old joke.

"Please stop with that name." the blond leader muttered.

RADITZ: Finally on this dead plan-- (notices teeming wildlife) Wait... What the crap? Did Kakarrot screw this up? Oh god dammit, I knew we should’ve sent Turles.

FARMER: Better think of something cool to say to make him stop! (cocks shotgun while Raditz scans him with his scouter) Hey, you! (thinking to himself) Heh, genius farmer, genius!

RADITZ: Aw, look at him. He thinks he’s people. What’s your power level, little human? (checks his power level with scouter) Five, huh?

FARMER: Protect me, gun! (fires a shot at Raditz, who catches the bullet with his hand)

RADITZ: Hey! No! Bad human! (flings the bullet back at the farmer, sending him flying at towards his truck and killing him)

FARMER: (extreme quickly while flying towards his truck) Gah, I voted for Bush!

RADITZ: Bad! Now get back up and tell me you’re sorry! Human? Huuuman? (sighs) So this is why Dad said I couldn’t keep Appule...

"My Oum, he's so evil he's not aloud to have pets!" Ruby shouted

"Thank Oum Zewi isn't hear or he would have ran off crying." Yang stated as Blake's cat ears twitched behind her bow at the mentioning of 'Zewi'.

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a wasteland, where Piccolo is standing on top of a pleateau)

PICCOLO: Good ol’ wasteland! Yep! Sure is some kickass training!... Dammit, I’m lonely. Might as well check MySpace. (opens up his MySpace page) No new comments... No friend requests... Dammit. Well at least I have you, Tom. You’re always there for me.

"That could of been you in the Ruby." Yang laughed because of her little sister's anti-social behaviour.

"Yang! I get it you can stop now!" the scythe-wielder shouted out of annoyance.

RADITZ: Hey! You!

PICCOLO: What the hell?

RADITZ: Are you Kakarrot? Seriously if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It’s really important! Oh, wait a second; you’re not Kakarrot. My bad!

"This guy must have really terrible at seduction." Blake chuckled.

PICCOLO: I’ve got green skin, pointy ears and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people!

"So what is he then?" Weiss questioned

RADITZ: Oh, a smartass, huh? I don’t appreciate smartasses. Prepare yourself for my signature attack: Double Sun--

(Screen suddenly turns monochrome and the scene pauses)

VEGETA3986: No!

LANIPATOR: Huh?

VEGETA 3986: Give me the mic!

LANIPATOR: What--? No--come on, man!

VEGETA3986: Dude-- Give me the mic!

(A picture of the original DragonBall appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.)

LANIPATOR: It’s a real attack na--

VEGETA3986: NO IT ISN’T!

LANIPATOR: Fine! Here, take it. I’ll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass!

(Scene rewinds and starts over)

Ruby, Yang, Nora and Jaune laughed for its mid-video interruption.

RADITZ: (in a different voice) Now prepare yourself for my signature attack: Keep Your Eye on the Bir-- (scouter beeps) Oooh! A higher power level!

(Raditz flies higher in the air and looks around)

PICCOLO: (off-screen) Hey! What the hell! Weren’t you going to kill me?

RADITZ: Ah, there we go. Considering the average set by this one green guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Kakarrot are-- Dah, screw it, I’ll just go and check!

(Raditz flies off)

PICCOLO: Fine! Go ahead! I didn’t want your company anyway! Right Tom?

"Well, that happened." Pyrrha said in confused tone.

(scene changes to Kame House with Bulma's ship arriving and Bulma walking towards the front door)

BULMA: Hey, I’m here!

KRILLIN: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma!.... Hi!

"Is anyone else creeped out by that old mans facials expression?" Ruby said as she slowly cowarded behind here red cape, and everyone agreed to her question in the process.

BULMA: Oooooooookaaaaaaaay, how’s it going?

MASTER ROSHI: I’m drinking OJ! (cup changes to brown) Now it’s apple juice! (cup changes to orange) Now it’s beer! Yay beer! (chugs down beer)

"Wait, how can that happen?" Jaune asked with confusion to which everyone ignored. 

KRILLIN: So where’s Yamcha?

BULMA: I think the bastard’s cheating on me!

KRILLIN: Why do you say that?

(flashback of Bulma walking in on Yamcha)

YAMCHA: (appears as a silhouette) Bulma! It’s not what it looks li-- oh okay, it’s totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this I was living in the desert. Oh, and did you change Puar’s litterbox yet?

"If he lived in a desert for so long, then how is he still alive?" Weiss asked, knowing that Vacuo has some uninhabitable areas and even Menagerie's deserts aren't even explored because of its insane heat.

PUAR: (appears as a silhouette) I made boom-boom!

(back to present)

KRILLIN: Oh, are you serious? Yamcha? Oh, that is so out of char-- so you’re single then?

"Really subtle way to change a subject." Blake said sarcastically.

(Goku jumps off Nimbus walks towards the front door)

GOKU: Hey guys!

(Bulma opens the door with Krillin running up after her)

BULMA: Goku!

KRILLIN: TAIL-- eh, wait, what?

(Goku laughs and holds up his arm)

BULMA: Uh Goku. I can’t help but notice that five-year-old you’re carrying.

KRILLIN: Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn’t mean you can go around stealing children.

"So he was raised in some woods throw out his childhood." Ren inquistened.

"That's upsetting." Pyrrha said as Jaune tries to comfort her.

GOKU: Erm, okay. (places Gohan on the ground) This is actually my son.

(Krillin, Bulma and Master Roshi are shocked along with the head of M. Night Shyamalan popping up)

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: What a twist!

BULMA: Oh wow! I guess this means you finally, you know.

GOKU: Know what?

MASTER ROSHI: (appearing right next to Goku) You know, "Bow chicka wow wow."

GOKU: (completely oblivious) What are those noises you’re making?

"Wait, so he doesn't know what sex is?" a very shocked Yang said with wide eyes.

Yaaang~ That's gross!" Ruby gagged.

BULMA, MASTER ROSHI: (thinking simultaneously) Oh my God, he’s a parent!

KRILLIN: So when’s the little guy gonna start training?

(Gohan is seen playing with Turtle)

GOKU: Actually, Chi-Chi is making him study. She wants him to grow up and be... what’s it called?

KRILLIN: A productive and responsible member of society?

GOKU: Yeah-- lame, that’s it! (to Gohan) Hey son, come here! (Gohan runs towards Goku) Stop playing with the turtle! We don’t need people saying things...

"I don't think that people judge little kids wanting to play an animal like a turtle." Nora chuckled.

"You'll be surprised, Nora." Blake responded.

BULMA: Hey, is that a Dragon Ball on his head? Doesn’t that sorta make him a target for villains who might want them?

"That is actually the most dumbest thing. Ever. Of all time." Weiss stated.

GOKU: Aw, come on. I beat Piccolo. I’m strong enough to beat anyone who-- (senses a disturbance) holy black on a Popo, what is that?!

"The hell is a 'Popo'?" Blake asked with confusion.

"I don't know but for some reason I don't want to find out." Jaune answered.

MASTER ROSHI: What’s wrong?

GOKU: I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Krillin’s losing streak!

"How is that a thing!?" Weiss inquistened.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) ...You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy...

GOKU: (thinks) He’s getting closer!

KRILLIN: Shouldn’t we grab Gohan and put him insi-- (Raditz flies down in front of the group) Oh son of a...

"Language." Yang snapped. 

RADITZ: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you, Kakarrot.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: That’s right, that’s your name.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: The name you were given before we sent you to this planet!

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: Yooouuu... hit your head as a child, didn’t you?

(flashback of Goku banging his head as a baby)

Everyone winched as they witnessed Baby Goku hitting his head.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: Oh for god’s sakes, listen! (display montage of Goku's Space Pod travelling to Earth and a group of Saiyans) You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You’re part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors called the Saiyans. And to top off this expositional onslaught; I... am your brother!

"Well it explains somethings up." Ruby stated with a shocked expression on the 'I'm your brother' bomb-drop.

(Shows the shocked faces of Goku, Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi. A crab falls off a tree in total surprise)

KRILLIN: So you’re his brother, huh? (walks up towards Raditz) Wow, that must mean you’ll be involved in lots of future events, right? Right?

(Raditz hits Krillin with his tail, sending him flying straight into Kame House)

(Krillin Owned Count: 1)

"Oh, so that's how it works." Ruby muttered to Weiss.

KRILLIN: What did I say?

GOKU: Hey! Stop hitting Krillin!

RADITZ: Why?

GOKU: Because you’re breaking Kame House!

KRILLIN: (offscreen, weakly) Yeah... Stop breaking Kame House...

"I don't see much purpose for that home." Jaune said without even knowing it has a big purpose in the future.

GOKU: So, what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?

RADITZ: The... the dragon’s what?

GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want-- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma’s panties!

"What the heck!? A TALKING PIG!" Ruby shouted as Yang tried to calm her down.

"Out of all that exposition of 'wish-granting orbs', a pig is what catches your attention?" Weiss question with disappointment on her face.  

(cuts to Vegeta and Nappa on an unknown planet)

NAPPA: Vegeta, did you hear that?

VEGETA: Oh yeah, we’re totally going to Earth to get our wish!

NAPPA: Yeah, we’re gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right Vegeta?

VEGETA: ...Just get in the damn pod!

(cuts back to Kame House. Raditz walks towards Kame House while Bulma picks up Gohan and moves away.)

RADITZ: No... I’m here for you, Kakarrot.

GOKU: So, what are we gonna do? See a ballgame? Catch a movie?

"That sound like fun!" Nora gleed.

RADITZ: We’re going to kill everyone on the planet and then sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet. (scene shows a planet flashing and then exploding)

"That does not look fun." Jaune gulped. 

GOKU: Oh. Well, uh, I sorta like people here, so with all due respect-- (Raditz knees Goku in the stomach, sending him flying and screaming as he comes crashing down into the ground)

GOHAN: (runs towards Goku) Daddy!

RADITZ: (walks up and grabs Gohan) I’ll be taking this! Yoink! (flies away holding Gohan in his arm)

GOKU: (weakly) Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Dammit, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What’s your excuse?!

GOKU: I was kneed in the stomach!

(Krillin gasps and looks into the sky)

PICCOLO: You guys are pathetic! (Goku gasps while everyone looks at the sky and stares at Piccolo) ...What?

"How long has he been there for?" Pyrrha questioned but with no answer.

(Piccolo lands in front of the group)

GOKU: Aw jeez... Hey look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all, but today's kind of a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I’m an alien, he stole my kid!

PICCOLO: Oh yeah; I was watching that! That was priceless! (Piccolo starts laughing while Krillin and Master Roshi stare at him in disbelief) ...Sorry for your loss.

"That mood swig is almost on pars with Nora's." Ren muttered to which the ginger hair smiled with a huge grin.

GOKU: Yeah. Anyway, wanna help me get him back?

PICCOLO: Whyyyyy?

GOKU: I’ll friend you on MySpace!

(Piccolo stares blanky at Goku and then the scene suddenly shifts to Goku and Piccolo flying towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts) Tom, you’ve been replaced!

"Wow, he ditches Tom for, whats his name, Carrot?" Yang questioned.

"He goes by Goku but his real name is spelled like 'Kakarrot'." Blake answered.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

(Master Roshi is seen holding a Crunch bar)

MASTER ROSHI: Now it’s a Nestlé Crunch bar! (Crunch bar turns into a gummi bear) Now it’s a gummi bear! (gummi bear turns into Nappa's head) Now it’s Nappa!

"What the hell!?" everyone shouted in shock.

NAPPA: Wait, what the hell?

"Well, that was the first episode, what are you're guys opinions on it?" Ruby asked with positive optimism.

"It is terrible, the voice acting is off, the animation and art style is very old, and its started off slow." Weiss answer.

"It was a little funny, hardly any action, maybe in the next episode but so far, I liked it." Yang stated with a thumbs up.

"I have to be with Weiss on this one, but I'm willing to see how better it gets." Blake said.

"I liked it!" Nora shouted.

"Me too." Ren said in a calm voice.

"Agreed on that." both Jaune and Pyrrha stated in unison.

"Alright then, to the next episode!"

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Goku and Piccolo flying through the air trying to track down Raditz)

GOKU: Hey Piccolo. Mind if I ask you somethin’?

PICCOLO: What is it?

GOKU: You’re not human either, right?

"And he now notices that he's not human." Blake whispered sarcastically. 

PICCOLO: Yeah...

GOKU: And your dad spit you out as an egg, right?

"That sounds gross." Weiss grinned with a disgusted face.

PICCOLO: What about it?

GOKU: Are... Are you a Yoshi?

Everyone nearly died from laughter from Goku's questioning.

(Piccolo gives an annoyed look at Goku)

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) ...Yes, Goku. I’m a green f**king dinosaur!

GOKU: Can... Can I ride you?

They continue to laugh from Goku's questioning.

(Piccolo lets out an annoyed groan)

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a crying Gohan and Raditz)

RADITZ: Shut up. I said, shut up! SHUT UP! Damn it, why isn’t screaming angrily making you cry less?! I’m going to put you in the time-out pod. (puts Gohan in his Space Pod and closes the door) (thinking) Thank sweet merciful God that’s over. (out loud) Now I can just sit back and—(scouter beeps) ...beat the crap out of whoever’s coming. (sighs) ...Great.

"Is this where we finally get to see some action!?" Yang shouted as she raises her fists in front of her face with excitement.

"Most likely, sis." Ruby confirmed.

(Raditz looks into the sky and sees Goku and Piccolo come flying down)

GOKU: Raditz! Give me back my son! (jumps off Nimbus) Wheeeeee!

"You know, I want to have a flying yellow cloud thing." Ruby said with sparkles in her eyes. Yang and Jaune agreed with her.

RADITZ: So, you’re here already. And I see you brought the Namekian as well.

"Wait, so he's an Namekian. What on Remnant is a Namekian?" Weiss demanded only to be calmed down by Pyrrha.

GOKU: A-actually, that hasn’t been explained yet.

RADITZ: Oh. Well, it’s not like anyone cares about him anyway.

"I beg to differ." the ice queen backfired.

(Piccolo removes his cape and grabs his turban)

PICCOLO: Well screw you too!

GOKU: Piccolo, you use weighted training clothes as well?

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) No, Goku. I just love to get naked when I’m around you. (drops his turban)

RADITZ: (thinking) Their power level is rising! (out loud) So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet! (unzips his pants)

"Uh, what?" Ruby asked confusingly.

"Rubies, you don't want to know." Yang quickly said as she raps her little sister in her right arm, very protectively.

GOKU: Uh... no. We’re wearing weighted clothing.

RADITZ: (quickly zips up his pants and crosses his arms) Oh... Of course! Because that would be ridiculous! (laughs nervously)

PICCOLO: ...So that hair does compensate for something.

(Phil Sebben's head pops up)

PHIL SHEBBEN: Ha ha! Dangly parts.

"Gross!" Ruby & Weiss shouted in unison.

RADITZ: SHUT UP! (quickly dashes behind Goku and Piccolo and elbows both of them, knocking them off their feet.)

PICCOLO: Okay, what the hell was that?

GOKU: I don’t know! But let’s try it again... from behind!

(Goku and Piccolo tries to attack Raditz from behind, who counterattacks by kicking at both of them, knocking them away)

PICCOLO: We really shouldn’t be announcing our attack strategy!

GOKU: Rush him! (leaps towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: Damn it, Goku! (also rushes towards Raditz) Will you at least try to dodge this one?!

GOKU: Dodge what? (Raditz fires his Double Sunday attack) OH GEEZ!

(Goku manages to dodges the blast, but Piccolo isn't as lucky as he loses his left arm)

GOKU: Ha! You missed me!

(Raditz appears behind Goku)

RADITZ: My bad. (kicks Goku, knocking him away)

GOKU: (thinks) Note to self: Less talky, more fighty. Everyone agrees to that statement. (Slowly gets up and look towards Piccolo) Hey Piccolo. We may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one. (Piccolo gets up with blood dripping from his severed arm) High fi-IIIIIEEEEE!! Uh... handsha—... thumbs u—... G-good job!

RADITZ: Ha ha! Aaaahaha! Aaaahaha! Aw, excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can’t miss it, it’s green! Ha ha ha!

PICCOLO: Yeah... Anyway, listen. I’ve got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm.

GOKU: And what’s the downside?

PICCOLO: You’ll have to distract him while I charge it...

"I sense that there's a catch." Blake inquistered.

GOKU: That’s not too bad—

PICCOLO: For five minutes. And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one and—ah, never mind, I’m sure you can handle it.

"There it is." the cat Faunas confirmed her catch.

GOKU: Wow. You really have that much faith in me?

PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Why not?

GOKU: Well then, I won’t disappoint you. (dashes towards Raditz) Here goes nothing! Haaaaagggghhh! Ready or not, here I—(gets attacked by Raditz while the screen shifts to Piccolo) aaaaahhh!

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts; singing the tune of “Mahna Mahna” while Goku is getting beaten senselessly by Ratitz)♪Mahna Mahna do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna do do-do do. Mahna Mahna do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do Ima chargin’ my attack.♪

"I want that for my ring tone for my Scroll." Nora drooled.

(Scene changes Goku getting the upper hand by grabbing Raditz's tail.)

GOKU: Ha! Got your tail!

RADITZ: Please let me go?

GOKU: Well, since you asked nicely...

(Goku lets go of Raditz's tail; who thanks him by kicking him away)"

Goku seems to nice to be a fighter for his own good." Jaune stated to which Pyrrha smiled at Jaune's statement.

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts while Goku recieves another senseless beating from Raditz offscreen) Perhaps on second thought, a whole five-minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle.

"Gee, you think!?" Weiss sarcastically shouted.

GOKU: (offscreen) Piccolo help! (scene changes to Goku grabbing Radiz’s tail again) Ha! Got your tail...! Again!

RADITZ: Please let go?

GOKU: I’m not falling for that again!

RADITZ: Pretty please let me go?

GOKU: (once again lets go of Raditz's tail) Well.... (Raditz elbows Goku, knocking him away) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (Raditz stomps on Goku's ribs) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs!

"Wow, I don't know who's more guilable, Goku or Jaune." Yang chuckled.

"Hey."

RADITZ: Aha! Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy! No, no, no, not cunning. What’s the opposite of that?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Retarded?

RADITZ: That’s it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—

GOKU: Uh-uh! A Yoshi!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) I’m not a god damn Yoshi!

GOKU: But you said you were!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) It’s called sarcasm!

GOKU: What’s that taste like?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Damn it Goku!

(Raditz crushes Goku's ribs)

RADITZ: STOP IGNORING ME!!!

GOKU: Aaah my ribs! I think you broke my...mmmmmm ribs.

"I-is he thinking about food in the middle of a battle?" Pyrrha questioned.

"Well, his it seems that he doesn't have a lot of brain cells, so it won't be surprising." Weiss gestured.

"I got a better question, for someone so stupid how did he get layed?" Blake question which led to everyone stop to think on how that happened.

RADITZ: Uggggh. (stomps on Goku's ribs three more times and prepares to kill him) Stop! Ignoring! Me! AND DIE!!! (scouter beeps) Huh?

GOHAN: Stop beating up my daddy! (breaks out of Raditz's Space Pod)

(Gohan rushes towards Raditz)

"Whow!" Everyone shouted in shock as they witnessed a 5 year old child to burst out of a space pod.

RADITZ: Nooo, my Space Pod—(Gohan headbutts Raditz) Augh! My space armor!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) We get it, you’re from space!

(Gohan lands next to Goku)

GOKU: G-Gohan. (GOHAN: Huh?) What... was that?

GOHAN: (gets up) Daddy!

GOKU: No-no, seriously. What the hell was that? We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do that—(Gohan looks behind and notices Raditz) Oh, crap.

RADITZ: (approaches a frightened Gohan) Uncle Raditz is PISSED!!! (smacks Gohan, which the screen pauses upon impact)

KAISERNEKO: We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious.

Nora and Yang laughed at the disclaimer.

(Screen unpauses as Gohan is sent flying by Raditz's attack)

But stopped when they so Gohan been sent flying from a single hit.

GOKU: Wait, hold on!

RADITZ: Oh, what? Mister Shattered Ribs is going to stop me? (begins walking towards Gohan)

GOKU: Listen, you don’t understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would do to me if she found out he died!

(Raditz begins charging up a Ki blast at Gohan)

RADITZ: Well, sucks to be you!

GOKU: (thinking) I don’t have any choice. I have to use my last technique!

RADITZ: NOW DIE!!! (prepares to kill Gohan)

(Goku grabs Raditz from behind)

GOKU: Full Nelson!

RADITZ: A Full Nelson? That won’t work on me! I’m Raditz! (tries to break free but can't) Hurghhurgh! ...Okay, let go! (continues trying to break free, but no avail) Hurrrggrrrg! Seriously, this is starting to piss me off!

GOKU: Piccolo!

PICCOLO: Ready!

GOKU: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I’m right behind him!

PICCOLO: Oh sure; I’ll give you a signal. It’ll be the last signal you’ll ever get!

(scene shifts to Goku as Piccolo laughs evilly offscreen)

GOKU: Well, okay. As long as we’re clear on that.

PICCOLO: MAKANSA—... MAKAKASAPOP—... MEKKASAPPA—... (groans) Oh, to hell with it. SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! (fires the Special Beam Cannon at Goku and Raditz)

"He can't even get his attack name correctly." Weiss signed.

GOKU: Is that what you’re going to yell out when you— (Special Beam Cannon pierces through both Goku and Raditz) OH GOD!!!

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Riiiiiicolaaaa— (blast hits mountain) AAAAAUUUUGH!!!

(both Goku and Raditz hit the ground, fatally wounded)

RADITZ: Damn it! And there was no way I could have gotten out of there!

PICCOLO: You know, you could’ve flown.

RADITZ: Damn you, hindsiiiiight! Bleh. (dies)

"That death seemed anti-climatic." Blake said blandly.

(Piccolo looks up in the sky and notices a ship heading towards the battlefield.)

KRILLIN: (from ship) Goku! After several hours of debating, we decided you might need us— (notices both Goku's and Raditz's damaged bodies) ah, crap!

"Seriously? They arrive after the fight is over! What were they doing?" Norn muttered to Ren.

(scene shifts to Krillin holding Goku's hand while Piccolo and Master Roshi watch)

KRILLIN: Goku! You can’t die! Here, I brought a Senzu Bean!

GOKU: (dying) I don’t think that’s gonna work.

KRILLIN: Why not?

GOKU: (dying) I sort of have a hole in my esophagus.

"Then how are you still breathing?" Jaune questioned.

KRILLIN: Wait, then how are you breathing? (Goku slowly closes his eyes and dies) ...Goku? ...Goku? Holy crap... I’m not the first person to die in this series!

"Wow! Too soon." Yang & Nora shouted.

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

MASTER ROSHI: Too soon!

BULMA: I can’t believe he’s gone.

PICCOLO: Yeah, pity that. RRRRRRAAAAHHH!!! (regenerates his left arm)

"Holy Oum, that's extremely gross!" Blake gagged like she was about to vomit.

KRILLIN: (runs up to Piccolo) Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?

PICCOLO: Yeah. And you know what else?

KRILLIN: What?

PICCOLO: (quickly) I’m taking Gohan. Bye! (flies off with Gohan)

KRILLIN: Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Damn it Roshi!

MASTER ROSHI: Shut up, Krillin!

(Krillin Owned Count: 2)

KRILLIN: Aww...

"Does anyone feel kinda bad for Krillin because of his 'Owned Count'?" Jaune asked with Pyrrha answering for him.

"I mean, little bit, but he can still prove himself useful as the series goes on."

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

GOKU: Gohan, do a Headbutt!

(in the style of Pokémon)

GOHAN: Gooooo-HAN!

"Gohan used Headbutt!"

(Gohan headbutts Raditz)

"It was super-effective!"

"A Pokemon reference, that's classic." Jaune laughed, as did Ruby and Yang.

"Just get the next video up you dolt." Weiss insulted. and Ruby did just that.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with Krillin, Master Roshi, and Bulma lamenting over the loss of Goku.)

MASTER ROSHI: Well, Goku has passed. But his sacrifice has stopped a great evil. (Krillin picks up Gohan's hat) Thanks to him, our lives can return to peace once more.

"I want to agree with you old man, but its too early for that." Ruby said under her breathe to not shock her teammates.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Raaditz? Raaaaaditz?

(Krillin and Bulma look at Raditz's scouter.)

MASTER ROSHI: What the hell is that?

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-Saibaman says "What?" ...That usually gets to him; I think he's dead, Vegeta.

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the Dragon Balls, and kill everyone! And we'll be there within a year or so—depending on filler, of course.

"I guess they don't like Raditz all too much." Ren stated with curiosity as to why they hate him.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Anything else we need to go over, Vegeta?

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Nnnope, that's about it.

MASTER ROSHI: Well, fu—

"Language." Yang snapped.

(opening sequence)

(Scene shifts to a wasteland where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Alright, you little human... Saiyan... thing. I saw what you did to that Saiyan back there; that kind of power can be useful.

"Wouldn't he be considered a half-breed?" Ruby asked Weiss.

"I'm surprised that you used the word 'half-breed', but yes, he would."

GOHAN: Wh-what do you mean?

PICCOLO: I'm going to make you my pupil. And then, I'll use YOU for my conquest to take over the world.

"We never got to why Piccolo wants to dominate the world. Hope it explains why." Blake hoped because of the lack of information the series is giving.

GOHAN: But-but where's my daddy?

PICCOLO: Hate to tell you, kid, but your dad's dead! ...Actually I kind of like saying that. Haha! Your dad's dead—(Gohan starts crying) Ah. Damn it. This is why I hang out in wastelands...

"He's not very 'father' material, is he?" Pyrrha question with Weiss answering with.

"At least he's better than my father." Which made everyone eye at her with concern.

"You want to talk about it?" Ruby offered to which Weiss rejects with a silent 'no'.

(Scene changes to the front of the Check-In Station.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (through bullhorn) Hello! Welcome to the heavenly Check-In Station! Please no cutting in line! If you are caught cutting in line, you will be sent straight to Hell!

"What, that's the afterlife?" Jaune asked rhetorically with amazement. But saw Ruby looked away from the screen because of remembering her.

(Scene shifts to inside Yemma's office. Kami is seen touching Goku's shoulder while talking in a wheezy voice.)

KAMI: And so, we need Goku here to get to King Kai's for his masterful training, Lord Yemma.

KING YEMMA: Give me one good reason I should allow this.

KAMI: Because, if you don't, (camera cuts the entrance of Yemma's office showing a group of dead souls along with an attendant) that line’s going increase by six billion!

"Six billion? That's like Remnant's population times by three!" Weiss calculated with utter shock.

KING YEMMA: Six billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by six billion?! Please, I can judge six billion souls faster than you take a piss, old man!

"That's a burn for the AGES." Yang punned with pride. With her teammates keep telling her to stop but fell on deaf ears.

KAMI: You know, I am the guardian of Earth. Can I please get a little bit more respect here?

"How can an old man be the 'Guardian of Earth', also is he like Piccolo's grandad or something?" Ruby wondered.

KING YEMMA: Big deal! I'm the closest thing to a God in this show—until you get to the Kais—then, I'll be horribly insignificant. I do have a desk though! It's made of mahogany! Ma-ho-gany.

"Wait, so there are different levels of being a god? How does that work?" Blake questioned.

KAMI: Uhhhh anyway, can we please—

KING YEMMA: SILENCE!!!

(both Goku and Kami are surprised and keeps quiet)

KING YEMMA: (whispering) Mahogany.

"Is 'mahogany' even a word?" Nora smiled with a snarky grin.

KAMI: Umm... Sir?

KING YEMMA: Wh-what? Oh-uh sure, whatever. He can go to King Kai's, but he'll have to run on (in an echoing voice) SNAAAAKE WAAAAY!!! (sound clip from "Gustav Holst's Mars: the Bringer of War" plays)

GOKU: Sounds fun!

KING YEMMA: Prepare to be surprised.

GOKU: (nods) Alright, I'm off! (begins to leave but stops) Oh wait. By the way, did you see a guy named Raditz come through here? (King Yemma begins flipping pages from a book) He has spiky hair and a tail?

KING YEMMA: Oh yeah, I remember that guy. I put him in my patented Yammalock!

GOKU: And it worked?

"I don't think so." Weiss stated with her opinion.

KING YEMMA: F**K NO! He kicked me in the balls and ran away! Now I don't know where he is!

They laughed at when he said 'F**K NO!'.

(Scene cuts away to Raditz with a halo.)

RADITZ: He didn't keep his eye on the birdie!

The hunters still continue to laugh as Raditz appeared with a halo.

(Scene cuts back to Goku.)

GOKU: Huh, okay. Well bye! (leaves Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: See ya next time you die!

(Kami glares at King Yemma)

KING YEMMA: (in a soft voice) ...Mahogany.

"Remind me to search up that word, Nora." Weiss requested and Nora accepted.

(Scene change to Kame House.)

MASTER ROSHI: So Krillin, how did Chi-Chi take the news?

KRILLIN: Um....

(flashback to Krillin's conversation with Chi-Chi and the Ox King)

CHI-CHI: Well Krillin. What did you need to talk about?

KRILLIN: So, Chi-Chi. Hypothetically: what would you do if you were told that your husband was dead; and your son were kidnapped by his worst enemy?

"I feel like I don't want to know the answer to that question as much as Krillin does." Jaune shivered at the thought.

CHI-CHI: I'd castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty carving knife!

"Knew it."

KRILLIN: Oh. ...Then it's a good thing I'm not telling you that!

(both Krillin and Chi-Chi laugh)

CHI-CHI: Would you like to spend the night?

"Wait, what?" Jaune questioned like he was in the show itself now.

KRILLIN: Aaagainst my better judgment.

(Scene changes to an outside view of Goku's house at nighttime. Camera cuts to a bedroom with the Ox King is snoring loudly while Krillin tries to sneaks out of the house, but shrieks as he hears a sound of someone sharpening a knife.)

CHI-CHI: ♪Kriiillin, where are yoooouuuu?

"Run, for the love of Oum run!" Ruby joined Jaune as they both felt shivers down their spines.

(Scene changes to a roadway, where Krillin quickly drives his car towards the screen while screaming.)

(scene changes back inside Kame House)

KRILLIN: Relatively well.

"That's putting it mildly." Pyrrha corrected.

BULMA: So, are you going to gather the other Z-Warriors and go train with Kami?

KRILLIN: The Who-Warriors?

BULMA: (with a scouter on her face) The Z-Warriors: (text on the bottom reads: Where'd that scouter come from?)You, Goku, Tien, Yamcha, Chiaotzu. That's what we always call you guys!

KRILLIN: That's the stupidest thing I've ever—

CHI-CHI: (offscreen) KRILLIN!!! (camera cuts to Chi-Chi angrily driving towards Kame House) Where the hell are you?!

Everyone chuckled but Ruby & Jaune as they shouted "RUN!"

KRILLIN: (quickly) Well, I'm off to gather the Z-Warriors! Bye!

(Scene changes to another roadway with, where Krillin quickly drives his car away from the screen while screaming.)

(Scene changes to wastelands, where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me!

GOHAN: But wait, wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age? Crippling me for years to come?

PICCOLO: ...You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?

GOHAN: My mom wants me to become an ortho—

PICCOLO: NEEEEERD!!!

They laughed at how Piccolo called a 'nerd'.

GOHAN: Wh-what?

PICCOLO: Anyway, I've figured to unleash your hidden potential, I'd have to put you in immense physical danger. So I'm gonna through you at that mountain.

"How would that help?" the four-time champion wondered, as she had a lot of difficult and aggressive trainers throuhout most of her life.

GOHAN: Actually, that looks more like a pla—(Piccolo throws Gohan)TEAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Any second now.

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Here it comes.

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) And—

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

(a splattering sound is heard with Gohan crying offscreen)

PICCOLO: Uugh.

(Piccolo begins walking towards a crying Gohan.)

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) This is gonna be a loooooooong training session.

"I think I see his pain there." Yang said as she looked directly at Ruby with cookie in her mouth.

"What?"

(Scene change to the entrance to Snake Way.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Alright, Mr. Muscle Man. Here you are at Snake Way. Now you might want to pack a lunch, 'cause it's going to be a long run. Nah, I'm just joking; you're not going to be eating nothing.

GOKU: (noticing how long Snake Way is) Wow! That looks like it's going to take me a while.

"A while, more like a eternity!" Nora shouted

"Pff, I can run though that no problem." Ruby cocking a grinned.

"Wana bet?" Nora gestured but was holsted by Ren & Weiss before it can grow out of control.

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Now be careful running—you don't want to fall off and die. That's just a little bit of dead humor. But seriously, do not fall off or you will go to Hell.

GOKU: Has anyone ever run the whole thing before?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Well, there was one man.

GOKU: Well, who was he?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (writing something in a book) I believe his name was—

(Scene change to Kami's lookout.)

KAMI: Mr. Popo!

MR. POPO: Yes, Kami?

KAMI: I just received word that we have a new batch of trainees coming! Make sure you take good care of them!

(Mr. Popo starts laughing evilly while the camera begins to zoom in to his face, with music from a horror film playing by the time the camera focuses on his eyes. The camera begins to slowly fade into black.)

"Why do I feel scared?" Weiss asked but everyone in the room felt fear rush over them.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

KING YEMMA: And not just any mahogany, (shows a planet named Malchior 7) but mahogany from the planet, Malchior 7! (shows a tree, which suddenly breathes fire) Where the trees are three-hundred feet tall and breathe fire!

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago! Using ancient blood-rituals of the Malchior people! (shows a group of Malchior people all with the heads of Lanipator grunting)

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material—very expensive.

KAMI: Ooookay?

KING YEMMA: (quickly) Mahogany.

"Well, that was weird post-episode clip." Blake said with everyone agreeing with her.

"Alright lets have a quick break until the next episode." Ruby suggested and everyone agreed. Weiss, Nora and Ren left to search the meaning of 'mahogany', Blake went back to reading her book, Jaune, Pyrrha and Ruby stayed where they were and talk about the first three episodes, and Yang left for the bathroom for a short while.

Chapter Text

The members of Teams RWBY & JNPR were finishing up with what they were doing. Weiss and Nora discovered that the word 'mahogany' is a rich reddish-brown colour of wood. Ren made pancakes and cookies for everyone but they disappeared because of Ruby's and Nora's sugar tooth snacking. Blake sat her book down went everyone returned to their siting spots.

"Lets get back into this." Ruby said as she pressed play on her Scroll.

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: Last time on Dragon Ball Z Abridged... Goku began his journey down Snake Way. ...Wait is that some kind of innuendo?

"Uh, what? What's an 'innuendo' mean?" Ruby questioned to her big sister but the answer came from Blake instead.

"A allusive or oblique remark or hint, typically a suggestive or disparaging one."

"Oh, neat." Ruby responded without not even knowing what half the words meaning.

(Goku is seen running down Snake Way.)

GOKU: (in his thoughts) This is going to be the longest, toughest journey I’ve ever made! I have to receive King Kai’s training, and battle the biggest threat to the planet we’ve ever faced! I have to run as fast as I can—I have to keep running! For the sake of the Earth, humanity, and my fam—

Just about everyone giggled at the fact that Goku was so willing to saving his friends and family that the scene changes to Goku sleeping on the back of a truck.

(Camera cuts to a sleeping Goku on a moving cleanup truck. The truck bumps into something, causing Goku to fall off Snake Way and down into the clouds.)

GOKU: (hits his head on Snake Way) OW, GAAAAAAAAA...

(Opening sequence with Goku's scream fading out, which resumes at the end of the sequence.)

(Scene changes to a screaming Goku falling straight into the depths of Hell.)

"Did he just fall into Hell?" Pyrrha questioned as Jaune confirmed her suspicion.

GOKU: AAAAAAHHHHH—

(Goku crashes hard onto the floor.)

GOKU: (in pain) Oowwww...

GOZ: Oh who do we have here? A little girly man, yeah?

GOKU: I’m Goku. Who are you?

GOZ: I am Goz.

MEZ: And I am Mez.

GOZ & MEZ: Und we are here to pump (camera cuts to a surprised Goku while a clapping sound is heard) you up!

"Is it me, or do those guys seem kinda... gay?" Nora awkwardly asked.

"Nora!, be careful when saying something like that." Ren snapped to protect Nora from getting into trouble.

"Sorry, Ren." his childhood friend said in a upset tone, only to receive a hug which may her grow a simile.

GOKU: (disturbed) Okay... well I’m sorta—

GOZ: (interrupting) First we are going to do a hundred squats!

MEZ: And then lots of push-ups on the hard ground!

GOZ: And then a bunch of jumping jacks! Ooooooooo!!

GOKU: (even more disturbed) That...sounds like...fun. But I’m sort of in a hurry? How do I get out of here?

MEZ: 'Agh, there's no way out of here; unless you manage to beat us in a test of strength and speed.

GOZ: Yeah, lots of running, 'und wrestling, 'und 'sveat!

MEZ: Grappling each other on 'ze cold ground, yeah.

"Ok, its confirmed, they are both gay and weird." Yang stated which offended Blake.

"Do you have a problem with 'gay' and 'weird' people, Yang?" Blake angrily asked with a defensive tone.

"No, I've had a few friends who were weird, and I'm bisexual, so got nothing against gays."

"Ah, Ok then." the cat Faunas accepted.

GOKU: (desperate to avoid this) Okay, now let’s say we went through all of that, then where would you say the exit is?

GOZ: (points towards the exit) Oh. It's right over 'zere.

MEZ: Ja, but you have to beat us first, and—(sees Goku running off) Ach! He’s running away!

GOKU: (stops running and turns around) Oh, before I go, have you seen my brother Raditz around here? Spikey hair, tail?

MEZ: Agh, yes, he made a horrible mess of 'ze Blood Fountain.

GOKU: (looks at the Blood Fountain) Looks fine to me.

"I don't so the problem with the fountain." Weiss stated.

GOZ: (angrily) IT USED TO BE 'VATER!!!

"Why would there be water in Hell for Oum sake." Jaune cursed, thinking that the concept of 'Hell' should mean 'a living nightmare.'

GOKU: Wow. Well, I’m going now! By the way, thanks for the fruit! (reveals a fruit he took from the tree)

MEZ: (horrified as he watches Goku eat the fruit) Agh! He has a piece of 'ze fruit! Agh, nein! Don't eat 'ze fruit! Don't eat 'ze fruit!

GOKU: (finishes eating the fruit) Bye! (leaves)

GOZ: Oh, now we can't make 'ze fruit salad for King Yemma's barbeque!

MEZ: Yeah, 'und Dabura's going to bring something totally kickass, 'und we will have nothing, 'und WE WILL LOOK LIKE FOOLS!!!

GOZ: Ugh, I am so mad!

MEZ: Yeah, let us go 'vork off our stress by doing squat thrusts 'und stretches.

GOZ: Yeah, 'zen we'll do grappling in our speedos.

MEZ: I'll grab 'ze oil. (they both walk off)

"OK, so are we all going to agree at that didn't happen?" Ruby asked with everyone agreeing, even Nora.

(Scene shift to Earth at nighttime.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth.... Now that’s got to be some kind of innuendo.

(Camera pans upward on a plateau, with a frightened Gohan looking down from the top as a wolf howls from a distance.)

"How did he get up there, heck how is he going to get down." Jaune questioned until Gohan started talking.

GOHAN: I can’t believe Piccolo left me out here all alone! How am I supposed to get down from here?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!!!

GOHAN: I can't even get any food or water! What should I do?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) I SAID, CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!!!

GOHAN: If only I had some sticks or reeds lying around, I could make a makeshift ladder, or a rope...

(Piccolo screams offscreen in frustration.)

The hunters chuckled as Piccolo screamed.

(Scene shift to Kami's Lookout.)

KAMI: You have all come to train on my lookout. But since I am quite old, I shall leave you in the capable hands of Mr. Popo. (begins to walk inside the lookout) Mr. Popo, you know what to do...

MR. POPO: Yes, Kami.

(Camera changes to Mr. Popo looking at Krillin, Tien holding Chiaotzu, Yamcha, and Yajirobe as a sound of a door slamming can be heard.)

MR. POPO: Alright maggots, listen up! Popo's about to teach you the Pecking Order!

(screen goes black)

MR. POPO: It goes: You (show a text "YOU"), the dirt (shows dirt), the worms inside of the dirt (shows a group of worms), Popo’s stool (shows a black censored box, literally not meaning a type of seat), Kami (shows Kami), then Popo (shows Mr. Popo's eyes on top). Any questions?

"Why is 'Popo's stool' in a censored box?" Ruby confusingly wondered.

"Maybe when your older, you'll understand." Yang fired off, continuing to protect her sisters innocence.

KRILLIN: Um, yeah I—(cut to an outside shot of Kami's lookout as a punching sound can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout)

KRILLIN: (as he falls off the lookout) GGGAAAAAA... (scream fades out)

"What is he?" Weiss muttered if he can do that with one punch.

(Krillin Owned Count: 3)

MR. POPO: Enjoy the climb back up, BITCH! Now, any more questions? (everyone remains silent) Good, then we can begin.

"Thank Oum one doesn't have him as a teacher here." Pyrrha quivered with such a thought, as did everyone else in the room.

(Scene changes to Goku running on Snake Way.)

GOKU: Okay! No more diversions! This is really important! No more sidetr— (notices a house) Oooh a house!

(Goku stops running and looks at the front entrance)

GOKU: (in his thoughts) Is that a snake?

(Snake-house sucks Goku inside its mouth.)

"Well, that was a SCALY situation." Yang snickered while everyone groaned.

GOKU: ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEE—

(Goku falls through an open door from the ceiling and hits his back on the the floor, causing him to scream in pain.)

(Cuts to a black screen, with a sound effect from Metal Gear Solid's intermission playing, and then a screen opens up, which is a reference to a Codec conversation in "Metal Gear Solid".)

"Oh great, another video game reference." Jaune said.

"What game is that from?" Ren questioned.

"It's from the Metal Gear series, used to communicate with other characters throughout the games." Ruby described as Yang whispered "Nerd".

SERVANT: Princess Snake! you have a visitor!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Ah, perfect... Now let me assess the situation from here...

(Princess Snake looks out a window and notices Goku talking to a servant)

PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, he’s quite the hunk of man-meat! But what’s with the hair?

"Yeah, he is." Yang flirted in agreement with the quote 'man-meat'.

(Door opens and shows Princess Snake and two servants walking towards Goku.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (in her thoughts) I just love this fur coat! Especially since I killed all the animals for it myself!

GOKU: Huh? You don’t look like you be King Kai.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (blushes) What? Did my magnificent breasts tip you off?

Jaune and Ren hided their blushes at what the snake princess just said.

GOKU: (confused) W-what?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing. Are you hungry?

GOKU: Yeah! I could eat anything right now!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Me too...

GOKU: What?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Take a seat!

(Scene shifts to a table filled with steaming food.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: I killed everything here with my bare hands. Including the bear hands—It’s a PUN!

"Leave the pun-making jokes to me you bitch!" Yang muttered under her breathe.

(Goku is seen chowing down on the food.)

"Wow, his metabolism is worse than mine." Ruby awed in shocked as Goku practical hoovered up alot of food. 

GOKU: (with his mouth full) I can’t believe you took all this down yourself!

PRINCESS SNAKE: I wanna take YOU down...

"What?" Everyone asked in unison.

GOKU: What?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Get in the hot tub!

(Scene changes to Goku taking a bath in a hot tub filled with red water.)

GOKU: Wow, this water’s really nice!

(A cardboard box slowly moves behind Goku.)

"Aaand the reference continues." Ruby sarcastically states.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (spying at Goku from inside the box) Not as nice as your ass!

(An exclamation mark appears above Goku's head, along with the alert sound effect from "Metal Gear Solid" playing.)

GOKU: Huh?

"How dense is he?" Weiss questioned with how this character even functions.

(Princess Snake quickly moves out of the screen in her cardboard box.)

(Scene changes to Goku entering Princess Snake's castle, fully dressed.)

GOKU: Well, thanks for the food and stuff, but I’ve got to get to King Kai!

PRINCESS SNAKE: (runs behind Goku) No! First you must pass the test of... endurance!

GOKU: What’s that mean?

PRINCESS SNAKE: It means I want you... (blushes and covers part of her face with her fur coat) inside me!

Yang covered Ruby's ears before the words 'inside me' were said, still protecting her innocent young.

GOKU: (completely clueless) What do you mean?

PRINCESS SNAKE: You’ll see...

(Scene changes to Goku flying away from Princess Snake in her snake form, with the "Encounter" music from Metal Gear Solid playing.)

Everyone laughed at how a giant snake was chasing Goku while making grunting noises.

GOKU: Aaaaaahhhh!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Hah! Total supplication! (breathes fires at Goku)

GOKU: Whaaaaa! Stop chasing me!

(Princess Snake tries to bite Goku but Goku flies out of the way)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (makes grunting noises)

GOKU: Stop grunting—it’s creepy!

"Second it." Pyrrha and Yang said together.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts) Wakka wakka wakka—

(Scenes changes to Princess Snake chasing Goku in the style of a Pac-Man game)

"Oh, now it's gone from Metal Gear to Pac-Mac, double references!" Nora shouted. 

PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.

GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—(notices meat) Ooo! (stops moving and eats meat)

PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wak—

GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaa—

(Scene changes to a wasteland at nighttime. Piccolo is watching Gohan from the sky as he is still stuck on top of a plateau.)

PICCOLO: Oh for god’s sake, now he’s just standing there looking at the moon like a retarded puppy! "Never call puppies retarded you meanie!" Ruby angrily snapped, (camera zooms out and shows Gohan looking at a full moon) I was trying to teach him to fend for himself, but nooo, (Gohan begins his transformation into a Ōzaru) he has to be a WEAK, DEFENSELESS LITTLE—(finally noticing Gohan's transformation) Wait, is he getting bigger?

"How does that work? No seriously, how does that work?" Weiss frustratedly asked. 

(Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru and holds up a barrel, with the theme of "Donkey Kong" playing.)

"And other game reference" Jaune slightly sang to himself, which court Pyrrha's attention.

"Hey, that was pretty good."

"Oh uh, thanks Pyrrha." 

PICCOLO: (surprised) Okay, that’s new! (in his thoughts) Wait a second, that tail! (remembers Goku and Raditz's conversation) His Saiyan blood! Does this mean... (out loud extremely quickly) Everyone of Gohan’s race can become a giant gorilla!

"OK, but how thought?" Weiss demanded to know.

"Weiss, you need to calm down." Ruby said in her innocent 'I've done nothing wrong' tone, which worked like a charm.

(Ōzaru Gohan shoots a mouth beam, destroying some terrain.)

PICCOLO: Damn it, if he destroys everything, what will be left for me?!

(Piccolo stares at the moon while Ōzaru Gohan continues to cause destruction offscreen.)

PICCOLO: (shoots a ki blast at the moon, destroying it) STOP MOCKING ME!!!

(Ōzaru Gohan shrinks, with the "Super Mario" sound effect of going down a pipe playing, and reverts to his human form, naked (which a Dragonball is censoring) "Gross!" Weiss and Ruby said, and falls down unconscious.)

"Wait, so they transform into a giant monkey from the moon? HOW!?" Weiss continuing her quest for answers.

PICCOLO: (lands next to Gohan) Hah! Take that, Moon! Perfect orbit, my ass! And— (looks at Gohan) Huh? Where’d the monkey go? Well, he’s back to normal. (notices Gohan's "male jewels") Oh God, what the hell is that thing? Well, whatever it is, I don’t like looking at it. This either. (pulls off Gohan's tail) "How is he not bleeding from his tail being pulled off?" Jaune questioned, Now... CLOTHES BEAM!!!(fires a beam at Gohan, giving him a new pair of clothes and a sword) That is easily my most metro attack.

"Really, an ability that can materialise clothing from nothing!? Haaaaaa!" Weiss shouted as she was slowly growing to insanity.

"Weiss, seriously, calm down and don't question everything. Ok?" Ruby said, comforting her partner.

(Scene changes to Goku once again running on Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Snake Way...

GOKU: Man, that was close! Sure am glad I got away from that giant snake lady!

(Scene cut to Princess Snake tangled up in a knot.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts, trying to break free, but no avail) AAAAAAGGHHH!!

(scream echos as the screen fades to black, showing the "Game Over" screen from Metal Gear Solid with its theme also playing)

SERVANT: Princess Snake? Princess Snake? PRINCESS SNAAAKE!!

"I hope that's the last reference of Metal Gear for now." Pyrrha hoped.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

(Scene shows Piccolo with an unconscious Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Yep, and once again wanton destruction has solved all of my problems! With absolutely no negative repercussions!

"My guess he's wrong." Nora betted.

(Scene changes to Kame House.)

REPORTER: We’ve got breaking news that the Earth’s moon has been completely destroyed. While the long-term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation puts the short-term death toll from tidal effects alone, at the hundreds of millions. We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?

SALILOR MOON: (getting shocked) OH DEAR GOD!!

REPORTER: Thanks, Sailor! We now return you to Nick at Nite’s 24-hour Full House Marathon, already in progress.

"Called it, I knew the green guy was wrong."

(Camera turns black. Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space and passes a few planets.)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: What?

"Oh Oum, please don't tell me that he's going to say what I think he's going to say?" Jaune feared.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

"OUM DAMMIT!" the blonde leader shouted as painful memories rush through his head.

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

As the episode ended, Jaune ran towards to bathroom an locked himself in, while Ruby continues to comfort Weiss on not to question the physics of this series. Blake went back to reading. Ren, Nora and Yang went to cook something up. As for Pyrrha, she walked over to the bathroom door to see if her partner is OK.

"Jaune? A-are you OK?" Pyrrha stuttered.

"I-I'm fine, j-just need a m-minute." Jaune answered.

"Do you... what to talk about it?"

"After the first season is up." Jaune slowly unlocked the door and walked out to see Pyrrha smiling which cheered Jaune up, until they were interrupted by Ruby.

"Are you guys done over there? Because I'm about to start the next episode." the crimsonette asked when, perfectly on time, Ren, Nora and Yang brought more snacks.

"What are you waiting for? Lets get watching." Yang asked with excitement, to which, Ruby hits play.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: After endless running and detours, Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way. How very convenient.

(Goku looks up and notices a small planet in the sky)

GOKU: Oooooo! Oh wow, that must be King Kai’s place! (jumps towards King Kai's planet) Woohooo... (begins falling towards the planet) ...aaaaaahhhhhh--

The heiress was about to question the laws of gravity but remembered her promise to Ruby about "don't question something that designed for comedic affect," so she didn't bother.

(Goku crashes onto the planet)

KING KAI: (offscreen) Nice job, jackass!

Weiss chuckled at what King Kai said to Goku. But quickly hid it as to not show that she can laugh for her own amusement.

GOKU: (in pain) Ow...

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space...

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (annoyed) No.

"Is he still at it?" Jaune rhetorically asked.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (becoming more annoyed) No!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (much more annoyed) NO!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (now very angry) NO!!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (even angrier) NO!!

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: (ready to snap) WHAT?!

"Does anyone suspect that he will kill his partner at some point." Ren questioned and everyone nodded in agreement.

NAPPA: (sees that they are approaching Planet Arlia) Can we stop at that bug planet?

VEGETA: (temper stabilized) Nappa, if it’ll shut you up for five minutes then fine!

"Also, they must of been flying for days without stretching their legs." Jaune inquired with his knowledge of road trips.

(scene shifts to Planet Arlia)

VEGETA: (looking at a floating debris) See? Look how fun this is.

(Two Arlians riding on giant millipede-like steeds appear out of the ground)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta-- the locals.

VEGETA: Seems they brought a welcome service.

NAPPA: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune. Really brings in the revenue. (One Arilan unsheathes their sword) They’ll probably treat us like royalty, considering the--

"Treated like royalty, don't make me laugh." Weiss chuckled which court everyone's attention by surprise.

(Arilans handcuff Nappa and locks Vegeta and Nappa in a cell)

VEGETA: Well...

NAPPA: Yeah...

ARLIAN PRINCE: I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist king.

(Arilan Prince continues to speaking unintelligibly offscreen while Vegeta and Nappa talk)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: What is it?

NAPPA: We’re in prison, Vegeta.

VEGETA: I see that, Nappa.

NAPPA: Hey.

VEGETA: What?

NAPPA: Don’t drop the soap.

VEGETA: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.

"Shiv? What is that, some kind of razor?" Ruby asked.

"It's a knife or a razor used as a weapon." Pyrrha corrected and Ruby awed in the mentioning of weapons.

(Scene changes to King Kai's planet)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet...

"How is it considered a planet, it looks more like an asteroid. With plant life... and has a breathable atmosphere." Blake inquisitied.

GOKU: So, you’re King Kai.

KING KAI: That’s right. I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galaxy--

GOKU: (notices Bubbles) Ooo, a monkey!

KING KAI: Yes, this is my monkey, Bubbles. Say hello, Bubbles.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) You have come far, young warrior. Allow me to--

KING KAI: Alright, that’s enough, Bubbles. Anyway, welcome to my planet.

GOKU: (struggling to stand up) Man, I’m so heavy here!

KING KAI: Well, because of the small size of my planet, the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.

"At least that makes sense." Weiss said

GREGORY: (offscreen) That doesn’t make any sense!

"How doesn't it make sens- wait, did that cricket just talk?" Weiss questioned.

"Yes, yes it did." Jaune and Blake signed.

KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory! Alright, fine-- how’s this for a reason: I have an unbelievably powerful space pirate locked within the depths of my planet. That’s why the gravity is so heavy here.

"That makes less sense." Pyrrha inquired.

BOJACK: (inside King Kai's Planet) Yarr! Get me out of here!

KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack! (stomps on the planet three times) Anyway, what are you here for?

GOKU: Oh! Well, King Kai, I need you to train me. (shows Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods flying in space) There’s a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I’m its only hope. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to train me, I’ll withstand any test, I will try as hard as I have to, and I--

KING KAI: Sure.

GOKU: (dumbfounded) What?

"Wow, he had a hole speech and everything." Nora awed.

KING KAI: I’ll train you.

GOKU: S-Seriously? I thought I'd have to do some kind of test.

KING KAI: Are you kidding me? The only company I’ve had for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate... (BOJACK: Yarr!) ...a monkey... (Bubbles screeches) ...and a grasshopper!

GREGORY: Actually, I’m a cricket.

KING KAI: Nobody cares!

"Some of us do!" the heiress muttered.

BUBBLES: (clapping his hands; subtitled) I care!

KING KAI: You tell him, Bubbles!

GOKU: Wow, you’re right. I can’t imagine anything more boring than that.

(scene shifts to Planet Namek)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on Namek...

(scene goes inside Guru's house, where there's a long silence and a splashing sound can be heard)

GURU: Naaail. Naaaaail!

(Nail walks inside Guru's house and kneels)

NAIL: What is it, Lord Guru?

GURU: I saw a fish. That is all-- you can go back outside now.

NAIL: (walks outside of Guru's house; thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don’t care what it is.

GURU: (offscreen) Naaaaail!!

NAIL: (sounding a bit annoyed) What?

GURU: (offscreen) I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.

"Birdie NO!"

"Wait an minute, did you say that during the initiation?" Yang asked her little sister with on concern.

"Un, yeah, why?" Ruby wondered what her big sister is up to, only to be put into a headlock.

"Aw, my sister cares for the wildlife."

Yang! Let! Go! Of! Me!" to which she does. 

(Nail groans in annoyance)

(scene shifts to planet Arlia)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

"There seems to be a lot of going back and forwards between Arlia and King Kai's planet." Blake wondered.

(scene goes to the Arlian prison cell, with the Arlian Prince still talking to Vegeta and Nappa)

ARLIAN PRINCE: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.

ARLIAN PRISONER: Welcome to Oz, bitch! That’s right, (to Vegeta) you with the spiky hair, you’re going to be my BITCH! I’m going to sell you for a cigarette-- but not before I violate you, because you’re my BI--

(Scene cuts to the Arilan throne room)

ARLIAN KING: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist! Right, my quee-- (throne room shakes as an explosion occurs offscreen) What in the great Arlian moon was that?

NAPPA: Hi!

Nora bursted out laughing at Nappa's response.

ARLIAN KING: Who the f*** are you two?

NAPPA: Hi, I’m Nappa, and that’s Vegeta. He was a prison bitch.

VEGETA: Shut the hell up, Nappa!

NAPPA: 'Kay.

VEGETA: Anyway, we’re here because my partner’s an idiot. Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, I think I’ll just kill you and--

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Oh God, what now?

NAPPA: (notices Arlian Queen) I think that’s their queen. I’m curious how they breed.

"That's just gross! I hope he doesn't request them to do that." Weiss gagged in disgust.

VEGETA: Oh, goddammit, Nappa-- that’s disgusting! I say we just--

NAPPA: (To Arlians) Hey, you guys, breed for us!

"Oum dammit!" the heiress groaned.

ARLIAN KING: Why should we listen to you? (Arlians guards begin surrounding Vegeta and Nappa) You’re surrounded by my thirteen elite... (Nappa kills guards with an explosion) ...dead guards. (to his wife) Well, you heard him, honey.

NAPPA: They’re not doing anything, they’re just standing on top of each other and... (a snapping sound is heard while both Arlians start mating) Awww, there we go!

(Nappa takes his cell phone and takes a picture. Vegeta’s cell phone vibrates, and he takes out his cell phone and sees the picture.)

VEGETA: (disgusted from what he saw) Oh, goddammit, Nappa!

"I hope he dies and not come back." Blake said with Weiss agreeing with her.

(scene changes to Earth, on a barren wasteland)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth-- Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.

GOHAN: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you gonna teach me today? A brand new technique? How to sense energy? What about how to fly--

PICCOLO: Dodge! (kicks Gohan)

"Is that considered child abuse or training?" Jaune asked.

"Both." Pyrrha said darkly.

(scene cuts to the barren wasteland at dusk, Gohan is seen injured, has a wart covering his right eye and is sweating)

GOHAN: (thinking) Oh man, this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult. But I think I’m finally getting the hang of it--

PICCOLO: DODGE!

GOHAN: What? (gets blasted at point-blank by Piccolo) WAAAAAAAAAAA--

 

(scene cuts to Piccolo and Gohan in the middle of the wasteland accompanied with a long silence)

"Run, for the love of Oum run!" Jaune shouted.

PICCOLO: (punches Gohan in the face) DOOOOOOODGE!

Ruby felt shivers go down her spine as she remembers her hand-to-hand training sessions with Yang. Even more shivers as she thinks of Ruby in Gohan's position while Yang was in Piccolo's. 

GOHAN: Aaaah!

(scene shifts to the Hall of Justice)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

"Did the art style change or is this an different show all together?" Ren questioned.

SUPERMAN: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans. They’re approaching Earth quickly, and I don’t think we have the strength to take them on alone. Batman, what are your thoughts?

BATMAN: Well, I think...

AQUAMAN: (offscreen) I have an idea!

BATMAN: Oh God, it’s Aquaman...

AQUAMAN: (offscreen) Come on, guys, we could use whales! WHAAALES!

SUPERMAN: Someone, get him out of here!

AQUAMAN: (sadly; offscreen) I’ma whaaaaales....

No one felt sorry for him, not even Jaune.

(Scene shifts to planet Arlia)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

ARLIAN KING: There, I banged my wife, will ya leave us in peace?

VEGETA: Actually, no, I’m still going to kill you.

ARLIAN KING: Summon the Rancor!

"A Star Wars reference, really?" Yang, Ruby and Jaune questioned.

(the Rancor arises from the ground, which is a gigantic Arlian)

NAPPA: Vegeta... It’s... It’s... It’s so cute! Can I keep it? Can I keep it?

VEGETA: Fine, just catch it or something.

"How come he gets a giant monster pet but I don't?" Nora asked Ren as he answers.

"Because his partner cannot put up with him, while I can enjoy your moments." To which everyone awed at the moment. 

NAPPA: Yay! (Rancor tries to attack Nappa, who grabs its hand) Here boy, shake-- (rips off one of the Rancor's fingers) Ahhh, I got your finger. Okay, now boy, catch the ball. Catch the ball! (hurls a blast at the Rancor, completely destroying it) Hagh! Awwww! Aww, I broked-ed it, Vegeta. It must be made of something weak-- like paper maché, or Raditz.

"They must reeeally hate Raditz that bad if they say that." Pyrrha said.

ARLIAN KING: (the audio downgrades in quality) (terrified and begins running up to his throne) Please, I’ll do anything you want! (Vegeta begins hurling debris at the king's throne) We’ll give you riches, womens-- Wait, what are you doing?

VEGETA: I’m about to rock you... like a hurricane.

"REALLY!?" Everyone asked with disappointment.

ARLIAN KING: I love that song! (debris hits the king in the torso, killing him) AAUGHWRR!

VEGETA: Ha, did you see that, Nappa-- that was totally bada-- (looks towards Nappa) What are you doing?

NAPPA: (offscreen) I’m cuddling it, Vegeta.

VEGETA: It’s dead, Nappa.

NAPPA: NOOOOOO!! (cries) Oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta.

(flashback of Nappa Killing the Rancor with Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” playing in the background)

NAPPA: (audio returns to normal) Ah, good times.

ARLIAN: You have freed our race! You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet! We shall erect statues of you...

NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Vege--

ARLIAN: ...out of our dung.

Everyone in the room bursts out laughing so hard.

(silence)

NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Ve--

VEGETA: We’re leaving, Nappa.

NAPPA: 'Kay.

(Vegeta and Nappa fly to their Space Pods and leave Arlia)

NAPPA: Look at us, Vegeta, we saved an entire race from tyranny. We’re heroes, Vegeta-- we are a couple of really great guy--

(Vegeta exits his pod and destroys Arlia)

Everyone was silent as they witnessed their first genocide.

NAPPA: Ha ha! Ahaha! Ahh... tragic.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to a barren wasteland with Gohan eating berries)

GOHAN: (thinking) Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself, live on my own, and surviving off the fat of the land. Mr. Piccolo will be so proud-- (gets blasted) YAAAYYYAYAYAY... (falls down and starts mumbling)

PICCOLO: (offscreen) DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Piccolo's "DODGE!" moment until Ruby clicked the next video.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji T.V., and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene changes to a dark room with swinging pendulum in the ceiling as Mr. Popo, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien holding Chiaoutzu, and Yajirobe are seen walking forward)

"Well, that's not creepy at all." Weiss sarcastically snarled.

KRILLIN: Um. Mr. Popo, are you sure this’ll make us strong-

MR. POPO: Pecking order.

KRILLIN: Sorry!

(everyone arrives at the Pendulum Room)

MR. POPO: Damn right you are. Now, stand in this circle here.

(everyone minus Yajirobe are seen standing on the magic circle)

TIEN: You mean, like this?

MR. POPO: Yeah. Bye!

KRILLIN: Wait, what?!

(everyone gets teleported to another dimension)

"D-did that not explain what just happened?" Pyrrha stuttered as she wanted to know where those characters disappeared to.

"I have a feeling that someone is going to say something along those lines in a future episode." Blake states her cat ears twittered behind her bow.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene changes to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Alright, today we will commence your training.

GOKU: Woohoo! Alright! Now, what’s my first lesson?

KING KAI: First, you must--

GOKU: Catch the monkey! (begins chasing Bubbles)

KING KAI: Actually, I was going to--

GOKU: (continues to chase Bubbles) Whee!

KING KAI: Okay, have fun with that.

(scene changes to the Z Fighters walking in a ruined city)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in... somewhere...

"Wait, so did that... person... thing, transport them to another location?" the four-time champion asked with another question.

"It looks like they have been transported to another dimension of sorts." answering his partners question with answer that sounds like it should be in a comic book.

"That's ridiculous, Jaune," the Schnee heiress retorted, "no one on Remnant has the technology to do such a thing."

"You do realize that this is an anime, right?" Ruby questioned her partner which made her go silent.

YAMCHA: Wow, this place is a wreck.

TIEN: I know-- the desolation, the ruin, the horror.

KRILLIN: Where are we, New Orleans?

Everyone was confused as to the mentioning of 'New Orleans', until Nora decided to be... well, Nora.

"Is that a place or a food, because it sounds yummy!"

"I believe its a place, but there's no mention of it." Ren answered as he quickly searches it on his Scroll.

(record scratch)

TIEN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

TIEN: Too soon!

"But, we don't get it." the crimsonette sheepishly said.

(Chiaotzu looks at a helmet)

CHIAOTZU: Huh?

HELMET: (quickly) You must construct additional pylons.

(Chiaotzu shrieks)

"That must be a reference to something." JNPR's leader asked but could not finger out the reference. Even the Rose-Xioa Long sisters were stomped by it. While everyone else, don't understand it.

TIEN: Chiaotzu, get away from there.

CHIAOTZU: Why?

(helmet disintegrates, revealing the head of a Saiyan)

TIEN: You have no idea where that’s been-- it could give you an infection.

CHIAOTZU: You’re not my dad-- don’t tell me what to--

(Saiyan attacks Chioutzu, causing him to scream as he falls off the city)

TIEN: Chiaotzu, My partner!

YAMCHA: ......Gay.

"How is that consided 'gay'?, he just cares about his partner, that all I can see." the blond bombshell retorted while her teammates smiled at how she is so open-minded, much like her little sister is.

TIEN: Hey, at least I don’t spend all my free time living alone with a cat!

YAMCHA: Hey, at least I get some puss-- Wow, that did not come out right.

The cat Faunas lightly blushes at what Yamcha was about to say.

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Hey, Bruzzel, look what we got here.

BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, we’ve got some tourists, Spraut.

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Well, then we should give them the tour.

BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, the tour straight to hell, because we’ll be killing them, with our own two diabolical hands, which are comprised of many sinister fingers, which we shall use to fiendishly destroy them one by one until--

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Oh, for Christ’s sake, yes, they get it-- we’re evil. Shut up!

(Saiyan grabs Krillin's ankle and pulls him underground)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, why?!

(Yamcha and Tien look at the hole as fighting sounds can be heard along with Krillin screaming)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, this can’t possibly get any worse.

MR. POPO: Hi.

Everyone in the room felt chills run throughout their bodies and froze in fear by Mr. Popo's verbal appearance.

(Krillin screaming louder, possibly due to seeing Mr. Popo.)

(Krillin Owned Count: 4)

YAMCHA: It’s up to us! We have to attack together!

TIEN: Right, back to back! Let’s do it for Chiaotzu!

YAMCHA: And Krillin!

(crickets chips in silence)

"OK, what have they got against Krillin of all people." a slightly angry Ruby asked.

YAMCHA: Eh, okay, just Chiaotzu.

(Yamcha and Tien charge up to attack the Saiyans)

(scene shifts to the Pendulum Room with Mr. Popo standing next to the circle)

MR. POPO: Alright, let’s see how they’re doing inside.

(Yamcha and Tien are seen getting hit and screaming in pain as Mr. Popo laughs, loving every moment of it. Eventually, everyone returns to the Pendulum Room, exhausted and terrified.)

MR. POPO: So, how was it?

(Heavy breathing are heard with Krillin muttering something unintelligible about "darkness")

TIEN: It was... horrible.

MR. POPO: Good, you survived the first test.

"I'm terrifying that what the other 'tests' are if there as bad as that." the ice queen said as a small wave of memories of her 'tests' ran through her mind, making her frown in sadness.

KRILLIN: (relieved) Oh, thank God!

MR. POPO: But I have some bad news.

"Uh oh!" Yang said as she knew where this was going.

KRILLIN: What?

MR. POPO: You’re going back.

KRILLIN: (sounding a bit scared) Wh-What?

MR. POPO: Bye!

(Z-Fighters all get teleported back to the ruined city)

KRILLIN: (screaming) No!!!

(short silence with Kami suddenly appearing next to Mr. Popo)

KAMI: Mr. Popo, where did you send them?

MR. POPO: I’ll tell you where they’re not: safe.

"He just loves to torment others, doesn't he?" asked the scythe-wielder as she hid under her hood by Mr. Popo's face.

(scene changes to King Kai's planet, Goku has just caught Bubbles)

GOKU: Woohoo! Alright, I caught the mon-- (notices Gregory) ooh, a cricket! (drops Bubbles who screeches in pain)

GREGORY: Yeah, I’m Gregory--

GOKU: (holding a hammer) I’ma smash him!

GREGORY: (visibly terrified) What? (shift to inside King Kai's house; Gregory is seen blasting by) OHMYDEARGOD!!!

GOKU: (chases Gregory with the hammer) Wee-hee!

"Does anyone feel sorry for the monkey and the cricket right now?" Blake questioned since they are living beings like Faunas in a way.

Everyone did feel so form of sorry towards the monkey and cricket, specially Gregory since it's about to he crushed by Goku who, somehow, pulled out a hammer out of nowhere.

KING KAI: (watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Gregory.

(Gregory screams as Goku hits the ground with a hammer)

BOJACK: Yarr...

KING KAI: (continues watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Bojack.

"King Kai doesn't sound enthusiastic when it comes to telling others to shut up." Weiss observered and everyone nodded in agreement.

(scene changes to Kami’s Lookout)

KAMI: It seems that your training here is complete.

KRILLIN: But we--

KAMI: Mr. Popo, do you have any last comments for them?

MR. POPO: (extremely blunt) You’re all going to die.

"Well, they're all dead if Mr. Popo says something so bluntly. If the Saiyans are stronger then Raditz as they say." Blake stated with some sarcasm and fear mixed in her voice.

KAMI: Thank you, Mr. Popo. Now I believe it is time for you to leave.

KRILLIN: But-but all we did was--

MR. POPO: Pecking order.

(Z-Fighter fly off the lookout with Tien screaming)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, get out of my way!

"I wonder if Goku is afraid of the this 'Pecking Order' Mr. Popo has." Pyrrha wondered.

"Knowing him, he would probable think it would be a menu for a restaurant." Weiss blandly states.

"Huh, good point."

(scene changes to King Kai’s planet)

GOKU: I completed the first two lessons, King Kai.

KING KAI: Yes, congratulations, you’ve managed to catch my pet monkey, Bubbles, and give Gregory a concussion.

GREGORY: (in pain, off-screen) You psychotic bastard!

Nora, Ruby and Yang laughed out at Gregory's outburst.

KING KAI: Now we can start on your real training and I can teach you the--

GOKU: Oh, before you do, could you tell about the Saiyans.

"Huh, more backstory about the Saiyan race." Jaune excitedly cheered as they learnt more about the Saiyans.

KING KAI: Not much to tell you other than they all died 20 years ago.

GOKU: (gasps) Even my dad?

(flashback of Bardock screaming while burning)

(King Kai is seen holding his mouth, trying not to burst out laughing)

KING KAI: (abruptly) Yes.

GOKU: Really? What killed them?

"Hold on, so they were driving to near-extinction, how?" Weiss questioned as Ren answered.

"Guessing it'll tell sooner then you think." 

KING KAI: Let me check. (checks Wikipedia entry) Let’s see here. "Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks. Hahahahahahaha! P.S. Freeza rules you." That doesn’t seem right--

"OK, so this 'Freeza' character has something to do with a entire race being nearly wiped out, how can someone destroy their own people?" Ruby saddened at the fact.

"What makes you think that this guy, or girl, killed their own race?" Blake asked.

"What do you mean?" the scythe-wielder confusingly wondered.

"Thing about it, what does each Saiyan name represent?"

"Uh, a vegetable?"

"Correct, and Freeza isn't a vegetable, it's a storage box, as well as a cooler box. So what does that tell you?"

Then it finally it Ruby like being hit in the back of the head. "Freeza isn't apart of the Saiyans, but a entirely different species of aliens!"

"It would seem so, as to why he would destroy them is another story altogether." Blake finishing off her case.

GOKU: Bored now. Let’s get back to training, King Kai!

"Wow, Goku has a shorter attention span than Nora." Weiss attempted at joking, which made Nora chuckled a little at Weiss' comment.

KING KAI: (lets out an exasperated sigh)

(scene changes to Master Roshi’s Island)

NARRATOR: And so, one year has passed-- the characters who actually did anything in the last series, but not in this one, have finally found themselves of use and have summoned the Eternal Dragon to wish back their fallen comrade, Goku!

BULMA: I don’t get it. Why are we doing this again?

MASTER ROSHI: Because my sister, Baba, told us to.

"Roshi has a sister!?" Everyone shouted in unison.

(Shenron gets summoned)

The cast was then in awe at the summoning of Shenron as they have never seen a dragon before, but Pyrrha felt a shiver run through her like a ghost walked through her.

SHENRON: You have summoned the eternal dragon. Make your wish and I’ll--(recognizes Master Roshi, Bulma, and Oolong, with disdain) Oh, God, it’s you guys again. Can’t anyone else find these damn things?! Ah, screw it, whatever, what do you want?

"Clearly he has some history with them." Yang slightly smiled.

MASTER ROSHI: There are two horrible Saiyans coming to our planet and we need Goku to be brought back to life in order to defeat them.

SHENRON: Really? You know you could, um, just wish me–a magical dragon–to send them into an asteroid field. One crossed wire and BOOM, right in the sun!

"The dragon is the smartest character, besides Bulma, to ever think of alternate solutions to solving problems." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Yang retorted.

MASTER ROSHI: (insistently) No, you see, as long as we have Goku, we’ll be fine.

SHENRON: (puzzled) Right... Yeah, okay, fine, whatever, I’ll grant your wish. Just don’t come crying to me when half your stupid asses get killed! Ah, who am I kidding? You will.

"He can do better jokes that Yang." Blake chuckled, while her partner give her the death stare look.

(Shenron's eyes starts to glow and then the scene changes to King Kai's planet, with Goku's halo disappearing)

GOKU: Hey, King Kai, I’m alive again!

KING KAI: Yes, and you’ve conveniently learned the Kaio-ken and the Spirit Bomb off-screen. Now get the f**k off my planet!

"That's some way to say 'goodbye'." Blake sarcastically stated.

GOKU: Alright, and thank you, King Kai, for all the training. It’ll be a hard fight when I return to Earth, but now, I’m truly confident--

KING KAI: GO HOME!!!

"Oum, and I thought Weiss was bad when we joined Beacon." Yang surprisingly thought out long.

"Well, I've been improving on my behaviour since then." Weiss stated in her calm and collected voice.

GOKU: 'Kay, bye! (flies off King Kai's planet)

(silence as King Kai, Gregory, and Bubbles watch Goku leave)

KING KAI: (sudden realization) Oh, God, what have I done?! I’m all alone again!

"Really smart, dumbass." Nora smirked, nearly on the verge of laughing.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) Well, good sir, you’ve still my modest company. How about I grab us some tea and some quiet music and we---

KING KAI: Shut up, Bubbles!

GREGORY: Well, I’m still here for you, sir.

KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory!

BOJACK: Yarr, You’ve still have--

KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts on Earth in a barren wasteland)

PICCOLO: All right, runt, your training is complete. Now you and I will take over the worl--

KAMI: (telepathically) Hello? Hello?

PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ugh. What is it, old man?

KAMI: (telepathically) I just wanted to check in and make sure you were ready for the Saiyans.

PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ready for the what now?

KAMI: (telepathically) Didn’t Mr. Popo tell you? There are two Saiyans headed towards the Earth as we speak. Both several times more powerful than the last one you faced. They should be landing pretty soon-- within a few days, in fact.

PICCOLO: New plan, Gohan, we’re going to kick some Saiyan ass!

"That seems impractical." Pyrrha stated.

"How so?" her leader asked.

"The fact the he is sending in a child into battle against people with planet-busting abilities for starters."

"Oh, uh, yeah I see where your coming from now."

GOHAN: Um, okay?

(silence)

PICCOLO: (telepathically) You’re still there, aren’t you?

KAMI: (telepathically) I’m just so lonely...

PICCOLO: (out loud) Get out of my head!

Everyone chuckled at Piccolo bursting out, but quickly recovered so they can watch the next episode.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen arriving at Earth.)

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (slightly annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (more annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (really annoyed) No!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (now irritated) NO!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (relieved) Yes.

"How has neither of them lost their voices throughout their travel?" Jaune asked with concern.

"Beats us!" Nora answered. 

(Space Pods crash through a building and land in the middle of the road, forming two huge craters)

NAPPA: Yaaay!

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene cuts to Vegeta and Nappa landing on the street, in front of a group of shocked citizens)

NAPPA: Hey look, Vegeta, more locals.

(citizens are shown to be completely scared with most of them whimpering)

CITIZEN: ....So, are you guys alien--

(Nappa destroys the entire city, leaving nothing but a gigantic crater)

NAPPA: Ahhh, I hate awkward silences.

VEGETA: Dammit, Nappa, think before you act! What if you’d have blown up one of the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: The what now, Vegeta?

VEGETA: The Dragon Balls, Nappa. Don’t you remember our wish?

(flashback of Goku talking to Raditz about the DragonBalls)

"Is this a flashback to the first episode?" Weiss questioned with confusion.

"I believe so." Jaune answered with such believe.

GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want-- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma’s panties!

(back to present)

NAPPA: Yeah, pandas...

VEGETA: You know what, Nappa? One of these days you’re going to die. Then you’ll be out of my hair forever. (caption appears at the bottom of the screen saying "Epic Foreshadowing") Now let’s just go. (Vegeta and Nappa fly off towards the Z-Fighters)

"Why did it say 'epic foreshadowing', what does that mean?" Ruby wondered.

"I think that Vegeta is going to kill Nappa." Weiss answered.

"B-but they partners." Ruby confusingly stuttered.

"But they weren't trained like how we are to a team." Blake corrected.

(scene changes to a barren wasteland)

PICCOLO: (senses the Saiyans' ki) Gohan, on your guard! They’re coming right towards us.

GOHAN: But, why would they be headed our way?

PICCOLO: They’re probably seeking to eliminate the strongest power level.

GOHAN: (not catching on) But... my dad’s dead.

PICCOLO: (getting irate) I was referring to me!

GOHAN: Oh, well by that logic, I suppose you would have the strongest power level on Earth.

MR. POPO: (appears as a tiny speck on top of a faraway plateau) Hah!

(Krillin arrives at the battlefield)

KRILLIN: Hey, guys, Krillin’s here!

PICCOLO: Oh, I thought I sensed someone else coming. Good, it seems you’ve increased your power since we last met.

KRILLIN: I know! Isn’t it great? I--

PICCOLO: You’re almost as strong as Gohan now.

KRILLIN: I-- Wait, b-but he’s only five...

"HE'S BEEN SENT TO FIGHTER HEARTLESS KILLERS AT THE AGE OF FIVE, IS PICCOLO INSANE!?" Weiss angrily questioned with little restraint.

"Weiss, calm down, deep breathes." Ruby and Yang advised as they cooled Weiss down.

GOHAN: It’s because I’m a Saiyan!

KRILLIN: Well, at least there’s only two of you. So, uh, how bad was the training with Piccolo?

GOHAN: Well, the training wasn’t that bad. Mr. Piccolo’s actually really nice after you get to know him.

(flashback of Gohan training with Piccolo)

PICCOLO: Gohan, I’ve brought you a sparring partner for today.

GOHAN: Really? Who?

(scene cuts to Gohan getting chased by a dinosaur)

Everyone bursts out laughing so hard that Nora fell off the bed, then climbed back on it as she continues to laugh.

(back to present)

GOHAN: So how was your training, Krillin?

(Krillin begins whimpering while Mr. Popo can be heard laughing and his eyes comes up behind Krillin.)

Weiss, Ruby and Yang small back away from the screen as Mr. Popo laughed.

KRILLIN: (breaking down crying) First rule of Popo’s training: Do not talk about Popo’s training!

GOHAN: (puzzled) Krillin, why are you crying?

KRILLIN: (voice starts breaking down) Second rule of Popo’s training...

"It must have been such a terrifying experience to leave such a character with some form of P.T.S.D." Pyrrha stated with Jaune frozen at wondering what the other rules are.

PICCOLO: Aw man, he’s already crying-- and the Saiyans aren’t even here ye--

NAPPA: Yeah we are!

(Vegeta and Nappa has arrived at the battlefield as Mars: The bringer of War by Gustav Holst plays in the background)

NAPPA: Hi.

(Vegeta and Nappa land in front of the group)

PICCOLO: So, you guys are the Saiyans?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: Don’t be rude, Nappa.

KRILLIN: And you’re here for the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: ...We are. And I am the prince of all Saiyans!

PICCOLO: You’re a prince?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: .....F**k you, Nappa.

"Language." Yang whispered.

PICCOLO: So what do we call you?

NAPPA: I am Nappa, and this is Vegeta. He was a prison...

VEGETA: (interrupting) Shut up, Nappa!

NAPPA: (whispering) ...bitch.

VEGETA: (Through clenched teeth) Dammit, Nappa.

"He so wants to kill him even more." Nora clearly states.

NAPPA: (notices Piccolo) Oh look, Vegeta, it’s a Namekian.

KRILLIN: Hey, I take offense to that.

PICCOLO: He’s referring to me, you idiot. And it’s not an insult; the Namekians are a fine, proud race of--

NAPPA: That means he doesn’t have a penis, right Vegeta.

"Wait WHAT!?," Weiss said with shock, "then how do they reproduce?"

"I think we'll find out eventually, Weiss." Jaune ensured.

(Piccolo stands gaping his mouth in shock as snickering from Krillin can be heard off-screen trying not to laugh)

VEGETA: (Amused) Eunuchs.

GOHAN: So what exactly does that make you, Mr. Piccolo? You survive mostly on water-- Does that make you a slug or a plant?

PICCOLO: (trying to restrain his anger) Gohan, not now!

GOHAN: And do you also conduct photosynthesis or do you---

PICCOLO & NAPPA: NEEEEEERD!!!

"NEEEEEERD!!!" Nora and Yang shouted at the same time.

GOHAN: Wait, what?

(a couple of news helicopters arrive at the battlefield)

MR. KENT: These are them, folks-- the terrible monsters who destroyed West City! Jimmy, hurry up and get a shot of the bald one.

JIMMY: (looks at Nappa, Krillin, and Piccolo) Um, Which one, Mr. Kent?

NAPPA: Look, Vegeta, the Paparazzi. I have to protect my image! (destroys a cargo robot)

JIMMY: Oh, my God, he blew up the cargo robot! And the cargo was people! (the rest of the news helicopters leave)

"Is that a reference to another series or something?" the red-head champion 

NAPPA: Good, now I’m gonna read their power levels, Vegeta.

(Nappa uses his scouter to read Gohan, Piccolo, and Krillin's power levels, which reads 0.8 Raditz for Gohan, 1.1 Raditz for Piccolo, and 0.9 Raditz for Krillin)

VEGETA: (removes his scouter) Nappa, don’t you understand? They can hide their power levels-- those readings are useless.

NAPPA: (also removes his scouter) You mean like YouTube friends?

"I'm guessing that is a 'social media' joke, right?" Ren wanting to confirm and Yang and Vegeta correct him.

VEGETA: Yes, and I have a better way of testing their power levels. Plant the Saibamen.

"Wait planet the wha-" Nora confusingly asked.

NAPPA: (plants a seed at the ground) Yay!

(six Saibamen erupt from the ground)

NAPPA: Ta-da!

"That's both ingenious and horrifying at the same time." the heiress said with a engrossed face on.

PICCOLO: (shocked) Wha-what are those?

VEGETA: They’re cultivated life forms. All with the same power level as Raditz. That’s right; he was so weak, we could actually grow Raditzes!

NAPPA: But, Vegeta, then you have to worry about the Fraggles.

VEGETA: Oh God dammit, Nappa, nobody’s going to get that.

"I mean, we don't." Jaune whispered.

TIEN: (off-screen) As a matter of fact...

(Tien and Chiaotzu arrive at the battlefield)

TIEN: I did.

VEGETA: (sarcastically) Oh, goody, more of them. Who the hell are you?

NAPPA: Vegeta, look, more bald people, (looks at Krillin) the small one, (looks at Piccolo and Tien) the two tall ones, and-- (looks at Chiaotzu) Ah... Ah... Vegeta! Look, a Pokémon.

"Really? A 'Pokemon' joke." Pyrrha groaned.

"Wait a damn minutes, Pyrrha, how do you know about?" the blond bombshell requested to know.

"Are you kidding, its one of the only video games that I mostly hated throughout my childhood."

CHIAOTZU: I’m not a Pokémon! I’m Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!

NAPPA: Did you hear that, Vegeta? It’s a Chiaotzu. (holds a Poké Ball) I’m gonna catch it!

CHIAOTZU: I told you, I’m not a Poké-- (gets hit by a Poké Ball) OW!

NAPPA: Awwww, it didn't work, Vegeta.

VEGETA: That’s because you have to damage it first.

NAPPA: Alright, let's see if I can get a critical!

(Chiaotzu flinches in response; Yamcha arrives at the battlefield)

YAMCHA: Hey, guys, I’m here now.

KRILLIN: (joyfully) It’s Yamcha!

YAMCHA: That's right-- don't worry, guys, we worked ourselves half to death with our training, so I know as long as we stick together, we'll take on these Saiyans, and WE WILL WI--

(Saibamen latches onto Yamcha and self-destructs. All that's left after the explosion is Yamcha's corpse.)

Yang and Nora laughed at Yamcha's death while everyone else looked at them with concern.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Yeah...! Woooo...!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(Nappa is naming the remaining five Saibamen, with an arrow pointing to the first four from right to left)

NAPPA: And that one’s Snuggles, and that one’s Foofoo, and that one’s Cabbagehead, and that one’s Other-Cabbagehead, (shows a Saibamen struggling to get up) and that one’s Vegeta Jr.

"And of course Nappa had named them individually." Blake sarcastically snarks.

[Vegeta kills Vegeta Jr.]

NAPPA: Vegeta Jr., Nooooo!

"It's about time this season is nearly finished." Weiss commented.

"Why, do you have something better to do?" Blake retorted.

"No, but we need to train for the Vytal Festival Tournament, that goes double for you, JNPR." Weiss pointed out as she aims at Jaune.

"OK we get it, but lets just finish this season first and then we'll join your team for training. Deal?" Jaune offered to Weiss, who agreed to the deal.

"Go, lets get on with the next episode." Yang states as Ruby presses the play button for the next video.

Chapter Text

"Started the episode without me, I'm going for a drink." the heiress said when she got up from her seat next the Ruby.

"OK Weiss." Ruby said as she pressed the play button.

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official  release.

(scene opens up at Kame House with Bulma, Master Roshi, Oolong and Puar watching a telecast of Yamcha's death)

MR. KENT: And there you have it, folks. That man is dead. Very, very dead.

JIMMY: Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?

MR. KENT: "Cadaverific!"

"Is that even a word?" Nora jokingly remarked.

BULMA: (breaks down crying in Master Roshi's chest) Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him!

Pyrrha blushed a bit at Bulma's statues as a 'virgin', saving herself for the right person in her life. But unknowing to her partner sitting next to her, Jaune is that person she was to be with.

"Wait, can't they revive him with the Dragon Balls." Weiss realized as she came back from getting a glass of water.

MASTER ROSHI: (...?) Bulls**t!

Yang laughed at Roshi's retort.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to the battlefield with Krillin being struck with grief over Yamcha's death)

KRILLIN: Yamcha! Yamcha! Yamcha was our friend...and you bastards killed him! Don’t worry, Yamcha, I’ll avenge you!

PICCOLO: Oh right, you're going to avenge him? The five-year-old over here is stronger than you are!

KRILLIN: But I--

PICCOLO: Face it, you’re pretty much here as a meat shield.

"Good way to encourage his allies." Blake sarcastically stated.

"Well, to be fair," Ren retorted, "Piccolo doesn't seem to deal with large crowds often."

(Krillin is extremely angry)

NAPPA: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He’s like the Raditz of their group.

KRILLIN: That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I can only be pushed so far!

(HUD from Final Fantasy VII appears at the bottom of the screen, selecting "Krillin" and "Limit")

(Scatter Shot appears at the top of the screen)

KRILLIN: KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!!!!

(Battle music from Final Fantasy VII plays as Krillin uses Scatter Shot to kill three Saibamen; Victory music from Final Fantasy VII plays after Krillin's rampage)

"Wooh!, that was awesome!" Ruby cheered with excitement, nearly knocking her partners drink out of her hands.

KRILLIN: (while catching his breath) That was...for Yamcha.

VEGETA: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.

KRILLIN: That’s right! What now, you son of a bi--

VEGETA: Nappa here is worth five Raditz.

KRILLIN: I-- uh... What?

VEGETA: And I am worth fifteen Raditz.

KRILLIN: (disappointed) I... Oh...

NAPPA: Aw, come on, don’t get so down on yourself. At least you’ve proven that your Raditz is still stronger than our Raditz.

(scene shift to Raditz)

RADITZ: I...hate...all of you!

"I wonder who would win a fight between Raditz and Yamcha?" Jaune questioned with Blake, Ren and Nora betting on Raditz while Yang, Ruby Pyrrha and Weiss sided on Yamcha's.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield)

VEGETA: So in short, good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.

(one Saibamen pops out from hiding and tries to attack Gohan, only to be grabbed by Piccolo)

PICCOLO: Yeah, no.

(punches the Saibamen in its stomach and throws it in the air before blasting it with a mouth blast)

GOHAN: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!

TIEN: Yeah, way to go!

KRILLIN: But, what about--

PICCOLO: Well, you can all learn a thing or two.

KRILLIN: But I just killed three of them--

CHIAOTZU: Nobody cares, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Aww...

"How has he not got depression because of his friends." Blake asked.

"He must optimistic." Yang answered.

VEGETA: Well, Nappa, looks like it’s your turn to teach them a lesson.

NAPPA: Yeah, right out of Saiyan University. (begins walking towards the Z-Fighters)

"I'm sorry, what!?" Pyrrha said in shock.

VEGETA: Hold on, you went to college?

NAPPA: Yup.

VEGETA: What the hell could someone like you possibly major in?!

NAPPA: Child Psychology.

"Then why is he killing innocent beings throughout the universe!?" the crimsonette shouted in confusion, only to find the answer to her question soon.

GOHAN: Wow, That sounds really interes--

NAPPA: With a minor in Pain! (dashes towards Tien and severs his left arm in one punch)

"Oh that's why."

(Tien screams in absolute pain)

VEGETA: Looks like he’s been...disarmed!

"That was terrible." Yang criticized as her teammates looked at her with half-lid eyes.

(silence as the wind blows)

NAPPA: (off-screen) I get it!

VEGETA: Shut it, Nappa.

Everyone chuckled at Vegeta's response to his partner.

(Tien leaps in the sky)

NAPPA: Oh, I love this game! Tag! (chases Tien and kicks him towards the ground) No tagbacks.

TIEN: (thinking) Agh, damn, this guy’s strong. Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and-- (notices Chiaotzu is gone) Wait, where is he?!

(Chiaotzu is seen latched onto Nappa's back)

NAPPA: Vegeta, the Pokémon’s on my back.

TIEN: Chiaotzu! No!

"What is he doing?" Pyrrha panickedly. 

"I think he's about to sacrifice himself to defeat Nappa." Jaune calmly presumed.

NAPPA: Aww, I can’t get it off, Vegeta! Here, I’ll use Rock Smash.

(smashes his back into a rock, causing Chiaotzu to whimper in pain)

TIEN: Chiaotzu, you get down from there this instant!

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan! For all the people of Earth, our friends, and especially you!

TIEN: But Chiaotzu...!

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Don’t worry, you can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls! Now, goodbye, my friend!

TIEN: That won’t work, Chiaotzu! We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls; we can’t do it twice!

"Wait, what?"  Everyone questioned in their minds just before Chiaotzu asked that himself.

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Wait, wha--? (explodes)

TIEN: N-No! No! Chiaotzu! CHIAOTZUUUU!!!

KRILLIN: Oh, my God... He blew into more pieces than Yamcha!

TIEN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

TIEN: He was my closest friend! I... I loved him.

KRILLIN: As a memorial to Yamcha: gay.

"Really, that joke against." Jaune lazily gestured.

TIEN: (thinking) At least your sacrifice wasn’t in vain, my friend.

(Nappa is revealed to be alive, leaving Chiaotzu's sacrifice to be in vain)

NAPPA: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Self-Destruct. I hate it when they do that.

TIEN: (off-screen) DAMN IT!

Even Nora said the same thing.

NAPPA: (lands next to a grieving Tien) Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it? The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication. And--

TIEN: HUAAAH! (tries to punch Nappa, but hits a boulder)

NAPPA: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to VEGETA! (punches Tien, launching him into a boulder) 

GOHAN: Should-- shouldn’t we help him?

PICCOLO: Can’t you see he has to fight this battle on his own? He’s fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.

(Nappa is seen beating Tien to a pulp)

Some of the cast laughed at Tien's request for assisted.

TIEN: (getting hit with each word) HELP ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!!!

PICCOLO: Like a hero.

And laughed even more when Tien's request fell on deaf ears.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, help him!

PICCOLO: Oh, fine! (to Krillin) Krillin, go!

(Piccolo and Krillin jump into the air to help Tien)

NAPPA: For PONY!!!!!!!! (Piccolo hits him) UWAGH! He hit me! (Krillin knocks Nappa towards the ground) GAH HA! He hit me too!

(Nappa is seen flying towards Gohan)

PICCOLO: Gohan, hurry up and blast him with all your strength! Before he has time to DOOOOODGE!

("dodge" echoes traumatically in Gohan’s head, causing him to scream and run for cover)

PICCOLO: Damn you, Pavlov!

(scene goes static and switches to a news reporter)

NEWS REPORTER: For those of you who don’t know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain. Back in 1904--

OOLONG: (banging his hand on the TV) Get back to the fight!

"Yeah, back to the fight!" Nora shouted.

NEWS REPORTER: Annnd back to the fight.

"Thank you." the ginger hammer-wielder politely said.

(scene goes static and changes back to the fight, with Nappa recovering from Piccolo and Krillin's surprise attack)

NAPPA: Hey, not gonna lie. Dick move, guys, dick move.

KRILLIN: Piccolo, do you have a plan?

PICCOLO: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?

KRILLIN: Any plans that don’t involve killing me?

PICCOLO: Well, there is the multi-form technique.

"I sense that it's a cloning-like technique, isn't it?" Blake asked to the blonde leader.

"Guess we'll found out soon enough."

KRILLIN: But doesn’t that cut our power levels by--

PICCOLO: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Plan B! Plan B!

PICCOLO & KRILLIN: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! (three clones of Piccolo and Krillin appear)

NAPPA: Vegeta! I can’t....."believe it".

(Vegeta gives off an annoyed groan off-screen)

(the three Piccolos and Krillins attack Nappa, who dominates them with his superior strength)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Hrgh, he’s dodging every hit! We can’t lay a finger on him! What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?

"Actually, what is he thinking?" Weiss wondered, only for the video to answer it for her.

NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s MAN! (punches a Krillin clone) Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN! (punches a Piccolo clone and eventually launches all three clones towards the ground)

"I'm not even surprised anymore." Weiss whispered.

(Krillin slams onto the ground, followed by his two clones, causing him to groan in pain)

(Krillin Owned Count: 5-7)

"Not even his clones can protect him from his 'Owned Count'." Ruby dramatically said to herself.

(Piccolo also hits the ground, followed by his doubles, which knocks him down)

NAPPA: Good effort, but I’m the Patty Cake champion.

PICCOLO: (after a short pause) What?

NAPPA: But, at least you didn’t uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon.

TIEN: (gets up from Nappa's beatdown earlier) You stupid...ugly...son of a bitch. (begins charging a blast) His name...was CHIAOTZU! KIKŌHŌ! (fires a Spirit Tri-Beam at Nappa)

NAPPA: Yeah, that Chiaotzu-- OH, MY GOOOOOD! (gets hit directly by Tien's attack)

TIEN: (thinking) Right here... Right behind you, Chiaotzu. (falls on the ground, dying from using up all his energy)

Everyone slowly realized that Tien is dead but then realized that they can bring him back with the Dragon Balls.

(Nappa again survives the attack, this time, losing some of his armor)

NAPPA: Aha, pointless.

KRILLIN: (absolutely terrified) We’re gonna die, aren’t we.

NAPPA: Yep! (charges towards the remaining Z-Fighters, who all stand frozen in fear, but suddenly stops in midair and looks at Vegeta)

NAPPA: Vegeta!

VEGETA: (annoyed) What?

NAPPA: I can fly...!

"M-my brain is starting to hurt now." Weiss complained as she left for a paracetamol.

VEGETA: (starts stammering before letting out a sigh) Yes, Nappa, yes you can.

KRILLIN: You know, you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!

VEGETA: Who?

KRILLIN: Goku! He’s stronger than all of us combined!

VEGETA: Well then, I guess we better kill you before he gets here.

KRILLIN: W-Wait, I mean...

NAPPA: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!

VEGETA: Nappa just kill them first and--

NAPPA: But I want him to see us kill them!

VEGETA: Oh, God, there’s no arguing with you. Fine, I’ll give you three hours tops. After that, I’m killing all of you.

NAPPA: Yay! And now we wait.

Weiss then returned to see what she missed, and Jaune told her that Krillin told Vegeta that Goku's on his way and now their going to what for he. Weiss then sat down next to Ruby and continues to watch the show.

"You OK now, Weiss?" the scythe-wielder asked with concern.

"I'm fine now, thanks." she said with a smile on her face.

(Thirty seconds later...)

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No.

"Oh Oum it's happening again!" Jaune panicked.

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No...!

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No!

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!

(long pause)

NAPPA: Is he here ye--?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!!!

VEGETA: Goddamn it, Nappa, just go do something! Go have fun-- I don’t care how.

NAPPA: Oh boy! This is gonna be my best...day...ever.

(scene shifts to Nappa destroying both naval and air forces, laughing while doing so, while Peewee's Pocket Circus plays in the background)

"Are we just going to ignore to fact that Nappa just destroyed a fleet without even trying, right?" Weiss shockingly questioned as everyone else agreed to the heiress' statement.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield with the Z-Fighters waiting for Goku until Vegeta's scouter beeps)

VEGETA: Well, time’s up-- time to die. (removes his scouter and throws it at the ground)

PICCOLO: So, where’s your friend--

NAPPA: I'm back! (elbows Piccolo in the head)

Everyone then bursted out laughing when Nappa returned.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

VEGETA: Nappa, where did your armor go?

NAPPA: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta. I sank their battleship...and their whales.

(scene shifts to the remains of a navy ship floating in a bloody ocean, presumably the blood of the whales Nappa indirectly murdered)

"Oum, that's disturbing." Pyrrha bluntly said to herself.

AQUAMAN: (off-screen) Nooo...

"Huh, well bathroom break, we'll get back to watch the last two episodes later, but for now lets mingle for a bit." Yang stated with the idea of everyone needing to stretching their legs for a bit. They accepted the idea and they talked, get a few small snacks and drinks or when to the backroom.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Gohan trying to wake up Piccolo, who is unconscious from Nappa's attack last episode)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, wake up! You have to stop him!

PICCOLO: (incoherent mumbling)

KRILLIN: Don’t worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down! I’m sure he’ll be here any second!

(scene cuts to Goku eating food at Princess Snake's castle at Other World)

"How can he eat when his friends are endanger of being killed!" Weiss screamed like a mad woman while Ruby and Jaune chuckled at Goku's atticks.

GOKU: (with his mouth full) Thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it’s the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. But I thought there was... (GOKU:Hmm, bacon!) something else you had to do? Something about Saiyans...and the Earth?

(Goku gulps down his food and takes a long pause)

(scene cuts to Goku running on Snake Way)

GOKU: Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Ruby, Yang and Nora laughed their asses off with Jaune, Pyrrha, Ren and Blake chuckled while Weiss scuft at the sense of humour.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Gohan still trying to wake up an unconscious Piccolo)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please, get up! Seriously, he’s gonna kill us!

NAPPA: Well, the green guy’s out. Too bad. Guess I’ll have to find someone else to play with!

KRILLIN: (thinking) Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! PLEASE NOT ME!!!

NAPPA: Eenie-meenie-minie-(to Gohan) you.

"That seems unfair." the crimsonette sadly groaned to fell sympathy for Gohan.

GOHAN: Wh-What?! (Nappa kicks Gohan) AUGH!

(Gohan gets sent flying into a boulder and lands on the ground)

KRILLIN: (off-screen) WHOOO! Not me! (notices Gohan does not get up) Gohan? (Nappa looks towards Krillin) Uh-oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!

NAPPA: Midget's next! (charges after Krillin) RHAAAA!!!

KRILLIN: (desperately) Wait! My turn! My turn! My turn!

NAPPA: Oh! (suddenly stops dead in his tracks)

"How does that work, how CAN that work?" the Faunus asked with a dumbfort expression on her face.

"He must be THAT stupid if he thinks that works." the lightning absorber smugly said.

"Nora, you're equally as like to fall for the same trick." Ren stated.

"Yeah, yeah I would." Nora whisperly groan for Ren to only hear and simle at to acknowledge her own faults.

VEGETA: What-- Nappa, what are you doing?

NAPPA: It’s his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.

VEGETA: (stammers in complete confusion while his nose starts to bleed)

"Gross!" the blonde leader and heiress groaned in unison.

NAPPA: You okay, Vegeta?

VEGETA: Yes just...just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...

NAPPA: Wow, didn’t think you were that stupid, Vegeta.

"That's some comeback, I think I like Nappa in some way." Nora commented as she chuckled at the brute Saiyans stupidity.

(Vegeta screams in frustration)

VEGETA: (struggling to restrain his temper) Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...

NAPPA: What’s that, Vegeta?

VEGETA: Happiest...moment...of...my life.

"Is that a reference or something," Jaune questioned, "because I don't reconisise it." and everyone nodded with a 'no' expression.

KRILLIN: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! I’ve got a new technique-- (begins charging his Destructo Disc) Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends’ lives... But, that’s besides the point! Get ready for my DESTRUCTO DISC!

PICCOLO: (barely alive) Laaame...

"I have to disagree on that arguement." Jaune countered as Ruby agreed with awe on her face.

KRILLIN: Now, take THIS! (throws Destructo Disc at Nappa)

NAPPA: Ooo! A frisbee, Vegeta!

VEGETA: Nappa, no! It's a trick!

NAPPA: But Vegeta, Trix are for kids.

"I'm curious," Blake wondered, "will Vegeta kill his partner for his annoyance."

"It won't surprise me if he did." Weiss bluntly stated with her own annoyance of Yang's terrible puns.

VEGETA: ...You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.

NAPPA: Yay, like a doggy! Bow--(gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!

RICOLA GUY: Riiiicolaaaa... (The disc cuts the top of the plateau off, causing it to fall) OH, GODDAMN IT!!!(the top collapses into a pile of rubble)

NAPPA: (seeing the cut on his face) Oh no! My face! My precious modeling career!

"Wait what!?" Weiss questioned as everyone else laughed.

(Remembers having his photo taken for a Vogue magazine)

They laughed even more as the photos reveiled themselves.

NAPPA: You know, I was trying to be a team player. (begins charging a blast) Trying to be a nice guy!

KRILLIN: You killed half our friends!

NAPPA: I said, "trying!" (throws blast at Krillin)

KRILLIN: Well you’re failing-- Oh, God! (gets hit by Nappa's blast)

(Krillin Owned Count: 8)

NAPPA: And so are you!

PICCOLO: I’m back! (shoots Nappa in the back)

NAPPA: AAAAAUGH... Iseewhatyoudidthere.

Most of the female hunters chuckled while Jaune struggled to hold back his laughter.

PICCOLO: Now, it’s you and me, big guy! And I’m gonna kick your a--

(Gohan, also regaining conscious, kicks Nappa into a pile boulder)

GOHAN: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!

PICCOLO: WHOA, Gohan! What the hell?!

GOHAN: (calmed down) Oh? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!

PICCOLO: No, stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED-- (Nappa recovers from the attack) Augggh, goddamn it...

NAPPA: (growls) You-a-making-me-so-mad! (begins charging up a powerful blast while Gohan stands still, completely paralyzed in fear)

NAPPA: Vegeta, look, "Imma firing my--" (face turns into Shoop the Whoop)BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

Jaune and Yang were laughing at the old reference while the rest of their teammates looked confused but still giggled a little.

(Gohan still does not try and dodge the blast and stands still, paralyzed with fear)

PICCOLO: (thinking while running towards Gohan) Alright, it’s time to redeem myself-- through one final act of redemption. (appears in front of Gohan to protect him from Nappa's attack) I’ll save Gohan and-- Wait a second, why didn’t I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually! Yeah, that's it, I’ll grab him and throw him out of the way-- (gets hit by Nappa's blast) GAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(a giant explosion occurs, which causes a giant shockwave)

KRILLIN: WAAHAA!!

(smoke clears, revealing that Piccolo is still alive, but mortally wounded)

PICCOLO: Yeah, that’s right, I can take anything you can dish o-- (in his thoughts) oh, God, there go my organs.(falls to the ground)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: (weakly) Unh... Gohan...come closer... There’s...something...I have to tell you...

GOHAN: Is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own-- considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring?

PICCOLO: (weakly) Neeeeerrrrrrd.

"Neeeeerrrrrrd." Yang and Nora whispered but got death glares from Ren, Ruby and Weiss.

"It was kinda sweet before you ruined it sis." the scythe-wielder groaned in annoyance from her sisters antics.

GOHAN: Wh-what?

PICCOLO: Just...shut up and...listen.

GOHAN: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?

PICCOLO: (weakly) Why...didn't...you... (at the top of his lungs) DOOOOOOOODGE?! Bleh. (dies)

"I don't know whether to laugh or stay silent." Nora whispered to her partner. To which he said to remain quick for now.

GOHAN: NOOOOOO!! (his scream continues to echo, eventually being heard at Kami's Lookout)

KAMI: Ugh! Well Mr. Popo, it seems my time has come. But don’t worry, my friend, you can go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. It will be a long and arduous journey, but I’m sure you can--

MR. POPO: Bitch, I ain’t going nowhere.

KAMI: But Mr. Popo, the fate of the entire universe is--

MR. POPO: Pecking order!

KAMI: But... I... Well then... goodbye, my friend. (fades away following the death of Piccolo)

"Ohhhhhh, I see, if one of them dies so does the other, making the Dragon Balls inaccessible to anyone. Its ingenious!" Jaune explain only for the Schnee heiress to retort.

"But won't that mean that no one, like the heroes, can use them to restore their friends after the battle." Weiss backfired.

"OK, so not so ingenious, but still amazing to think of, right?" the male leader corrected.

MR. POPO: (zooms in to his eyes) Byyyye.

Everyone felt a shiver run through their own spines at Popo's final words.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield, with Krillin helplessly watching Gohan mourn over Piccolo's death)

NAPPA: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?

VEGETA: (reading a magazine) Yes, Nappa, that was a very good kick.

"Haha, oh he's like the stereotype father that doesn't care." the blonde bombshell joked as everyone, minus Weiss who is kinda sensitive to the topic, laughed out loud.

NAPPA: Daww, Vegeta! You weren't watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?

VEGETA: Ugh, fine! (throws magazing at the ground)

GOHAN: GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!

NAPPA: (short pause) What?

GOHAN: I’M GONNA SKULLF*CK YOU! MASENKOOO-HAAAAA! (fires a Masenko at Nappa)

Everyone in the room slightly backed away in their seats from Gohan's quote-angry statement and action.

NAPPA: AAAAAH!

(Nappa deflects Gohan's blast into a plateau)

NAPPA: (while holding his hand, which is numb) Arrrrrgh. Bitch Please!

GOHAN: I’m sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I-I failed you...

KRILLIN: You sure did! I uh... I mean...sorry for your loss.

NAPPA: Well, it’s been fun, kid--I mean, for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.

KRILLIN: Hey, I’m still alive--

NAPPA: Everyone important!

 "Why are they mean to Krillin of all people." the cat Faunus wondered.

KRILLIN: (sadly) Dammit.

NAPPA: (raises his foot) Now, Nappa Smash!

(Gohan and Krillin both close their eyes, preparing for the worst, but Gohan is suddenly moved out of the way before Nappa can crush him with his foot)

NAPPA: Oo-wa-waa? Hey! Where’d he go! Did he disappear, or was he never there to begin with? (dramatic music and screen zooms in on Nappa's face)

"If he lives, I want see more of this." Nora chuckled.

(Gohan is shown to be on top of Flying Nimbus)

NAPPA: Oh wait, there he is.

GOHAN: Huh?

(Goku lands, finally arriving at scene of the battle)

GOKU: Hey, guys! What'd I miss? I--(notices everyone's corpses) Oh, are they all... Tenshinhan... Piccolo...? Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha... (notices Chiatzu body is nowhere to bee seen) Wait, where’s Chiaotzu?

KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here...and there...and there...and--

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

GOHAN: Too soon!

GOKU: I’m sorry I’m late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu Beans for you!

KRILLIN: Woohoo! Thank you, Ex Machina.

GOKU: (to Vegeta and Nappa) Hey! Which one of you did all this?

NAPPA: That was me, totally calling it. (Goku is shaking in rage over the loss of his friends) I killed every single one of them-- except for Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!

(Goku continues to shake in anger and begins to power up)

GOKU: (powering up) HHHHAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!

NAPPA: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?

VEGETA: (Takes off his scouter) It's...one thousand and six.

NAPPA: Wha-- really?

"Yeah, that doesn't seem that high," Pyrrha said, "even the training on King Kai's planet seemed to be more extreme than mine was after my second tournament."

"How bad was it?" Ruby questioned, "i-if you don't mind me asking." She sheepishly sunk as she paused the series.

"Well one of the exercises was to combat multiple opponents at one," the Mistral champion went in detail, "and another was to predict when someone was going to attack me, while blind folded."

"That must of been rough." Jaune sympatheticly said as he hugged his teammate. Until Nora inturpted. 

"Boorrrriiinnnng, let's watch so more fighting!" As she hits play on Ruby's Scroll.

VEGETA: Yeah, kick his ass, Nappa! (turns off his scouter)

NAPPA: YAY! (charges into battle with Goku)

(Nappa gets beaten to pulp while Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin watch, completely shocked at Goku's beatdown)

NAPPA: (while getting pummeled by Goku) OOOWWW! Ow ow ow ow! Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!

Even the hunters were in shock and satisfied with Goku getting revenge on his friends death.

VEGETA: Hm, that doesn't seem right...

NAPPA: (faintly in background) My arm doesn't bend that way! My arm doesn't bend that way! (loud crunching sound is heard) Oh, now it does!

VEGETA: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Nappa!

(Nappa gets knocked over next to Vegeta)

NAPPA: (in pain) WHAAAAAT?!

VEGETA: I had the Scouter upside down. (once again takes off his scouter) It's over nine thousand. (calmly crushes scouter) Rah.

NAPPA: Why do you sound so bored?!

VEGETA: Because, it's still not a threat.

NAPPA: But--

VEGETA: To me. Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls, we’ll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us.

"Well, prepare to be soarly disappointed." Blake sarcastically stated with a semi-smiling cat grin on her face.

GOKU: Wait, what? But you killed Piccolo.

VEGETA: And your point is...?

GOKU: Well, if he’s dead, the Dragon Balls don’t work.

VEGETA: Wh... what?

NAPPA: Oh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta? (Vegeta growls in anger) Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? (Vegeta continues growling in anger) Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege-- (scene cuts to Nappa getting killed by Vegeta) AAAAAAAAAGH!!! (gets obliterated in an explosion as Vegeta is last seen staring at the sky and giving an evil smirk)

"Nappa! Nnnnooooo!" Nora cried out.

"Well, I did call it." the Faunus said with little surprise for this situation.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

"Wait, no 'post episode' scene, that's disappointing." Yang groaned with crossed arms.

"Alright guys, so the last episode is split into three parts, so let's watch them back-to-back!" Ruby enthusiastically shouted as the final episode loads up.

Chapter Text

Part 1


[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

VEGETA: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I’m so happy right now! I might not even slaughter you all!

"This is probably the most happiest he's been." Weiss commented, "and that scares me." To which everyone agrees.

KRILLIN: Re-Really?

VEGETA: (laughter dies down) Oh no, you’re all thoroughly screwed.

KRILLIN: Awww.

"Sometimes, I feel your pain Krillin." Ren honestly stated with the amount of memories he and Nora had when they were much younger.

GOKU: Gohan, Krillin, I’ll handle Vegeta on my own. I need the both of you to get as far away as-- (Krillin is suddenly gone) Where’d Krillin go?

(scene cuts to Krillin screaming flying away and then back to the battlefield where Goku places his hand on Gohan)

GOKU: Gohan, follow Krillin. Get home to your mother.

GOHAN: Right, Daddy. Is there anything you want me to tell her?

GOKU: Yes, Gohan. Tell her... ("Coming Undone" by Korn plays as the camera slightly zooms in on Goku's face) to put dinner on... ("Coming Undone" plays again with the camera zooming in on Goku's face) because I’m hungry. (plays a third time with the camera once again zooming in on Goku's face)

"Wait, didn't he eat something during the previous episode?" Pyrrha questioned with confusion. Jaune confirmed her suspicion as he remembers.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene cuts to Goku flying down on the battlefield)

VEGETA: Alright, are you ready for this?

GOKU: You bet I am! But first, why don’t we take this battle somewhere else?

VEGETA: What’s wrong with here?

GOKU: I don’t know. Something about it doesn’t feel right.

VEGETA: Well, it is a little corpsy. (looks at the corpses of Yamcha, Tien, and Piccolo)

"A little? He calls that little?" Blake questioned only for Yang to remind her that he destroyed a planet a couple episodes ago.

(scene shifts to King Kai's planet)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on King Kai’s planet.

KING KAI: (in his thoughts) So, the fight is about to begin. The showdown between the Saiyan elite and the low-class warrior, trained by me. (out loud) Takin’ all bets, guys! Takin’ all bets!

"10 Lien on Goku!" the blonde bombshell shouted. Ruby paused the video to see where this lead too.

"25 Lien on Vegeta living to fight another day." the blonde leader placing he bet.

"40 Lien on Goku." Pyrrha and Weiss placing their bets in unison. Blake complain if it was necessary to do this, but Yang and Nora reassured her it was harmless fun so the cat Faunus joined in, placing her winnings of 20 Lien to Goku finishing Vegeta off with the apposite 'Kaio-Ken' technique.

"Ren & I places OUR bets with 35 Lien on Goku." the lightning absorber, filled with confidence, stated while her partner just shrugged his head confusion.

"Alright then, has everyone placed their bets?" Ruby asked, and everyone nodded their heads. But before she could hit play Nora inturpts her with why Ruby hasn't placed any bets, to which she responses with: "I'm not old enough to gamble yet, also my dad and Yang try extremely well to make sure that I never gamble."

Everyone nodded in understanding while Nora was shouting "Boring!" but they ignored her and continued watching.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) 70,000 zeni on the noble young warrior!

BOJACK: (from inside King Kai's planet) Yargh! I bet 50 gold doubloons on the short one!

GREGORY: Uh, sir, is this really appropriate? If Goku loses, the entire Earth could be destroyed!

(King Kai creates a large hammer)

"Not going to complain this time Weiss-cream?" Yang teasingly asked her white-haired teammate.

"No, I'm just going to come to the conclusion of 'Plot Magic' for these types of situations." she replied.

KING KAI: You were saying?

GREGORY: D’ah, 1,000 zeni on Goku.

NARRATOR: Hey, can I get in on this?

KING KAI: Wait a second. Don’t you already know the outcome of the fight?

NARRATOR: N-Noooo......

"Because that's not a lie at all." Jaune sarcastically said.

(scene cuts back to Earth where Goku guides Vegeta to a wasteland to start their battle)

GOKU: This is it!

VEGETA: Ah, yes. A perfect place to mark your grave.

GOKU: Listen, we don’t have to do this, you know. If you leave now and promise to never come back, I’ll let you go. And we can stop this meaningless bloodshed.

"You know, Goku's innocent side kinda matches with you, Ruby." Pyrrha commented with a smile while Ruby thanked her for the complement.

VEGETA: Such trite! Where’s your Saiyan pride, Kakarot? We are proud warriors! Bred to fight and conquer. This planet has made you soft.

GOKU: Are you sure about this? Because even if you’re a little sorry--

VEGETA: No! I’m not sorry!

GOKU: Are you absolutely sure you--

VEGETA: Yes! I am entirely sure! (Goku begins powering up) I’m going to obliterate you and the rest of this planet myself with my own two--

GOKU: KAIO-KEN! (charges at Vegeta)

VEGETA: Kaio-what--

Blake's cat-ears twitched behind her bow, thinking that the 'Kaio-what' is going to be a running gag for some time.

(Goku punches Vegeta in the face and proceeds to attack him with a barrage of punches before knocking him away. Vegeta however recovers from the attack and kicks Goku in the face)

VEGETA: (breathes heavily) Okay, not bad. But still nothing compared to me. Now witness the power of a Saiyan elite!

GOKU: Elite? What’s that mean?

VEGETA: It means I’m of the upper class. A finer breed! The highest grade of warrior!

(Goku floats there silently, blinking confusedly)

VEGETA: (sighs) Okay, consider yourself beef jerky while I’m filet mignon.

GOKU: Oooh, I like both those things!

VEGETA: (after a short pause) I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.

"I wouldn't blame him." Ren whispered to himself.

GOKU: Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to-- (Vegeta headbutts Goku) AH! (Vegeta elbows Goku towards the ground) Unh!

VEGETA: Hah! What’s wrong, Kakarot? Can’t keep up? (throws a fiery ki blast at Goku) I told you, Kakarot. There’s no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You’re fighting a losing battle here. (Goku removes the torn portion of his shirt) You may as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and--

GOKU: Kaio-Ken times three! (once again turns Kaio-Ken and flies at Vegeta)

VEGETA: Times wha--

(Goku punches Vegeta in the face, sending him screaming and flying into a plateau)

"Holy Brothers, and just 'times three'?" Yang shockingly wondered, "why can't anyone else use such an ability?"

"I think we'll find out sooner or later." Weiss answered.

VEGETA: (in pain) This... proves... nothing.

"It kinda does..." Ruby said with a little chuckle behind her words.

GOKU: Are you okay in there?

VEGETA: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-f**king-tastic... nothing but gumdrops and ice-cream in here.

GOKU: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?

"How dense is he?" the cat Faunus rhetorically wondered.

VEGETA: (short pause) I'm surrounded by idiots.

GOKU: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice-cream.

(Vegeta screams with rage as he destroys the plateau around him)

Everyone laughed at both Goku's response and Vegeta's reaction.

VEGETA: I will not stand for this! I will not be humiliated by a low-class wretch!

GOKU: Aww, sounds like somebody's got an ice-cream headache!

VEGETA: THAT'S IT!!! EVERYONE DIES!!! (launches himself into the air with a purple aura surrounding him and begins charging up energy) Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot!

GOKU: Well, that's not very nice.

VEGETA: OF COURSE NOT! I'M F**KING EVIL! GALICK GUN!

GOKU: Oooh, did he say Garlic--

VEGETA: (in distance) AAARRRGH!

They continue to laugh at their interactions even more. But they managed to calm down when Goku powered up.

GOKU: (powers up to Kaio-Ken x3) Oh man! (cups his hands behind his back for a Kamehameha wave) KA... ME... HA... ME...

VEGETA: FIRE!!!

GOKU: HA!!!

(both energy waves clash in mid-air)

Everyone was in shock and awe as the energy beams crashed into each other.

VEGETA: This is the end, Kakarot! You don’t stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! (Goku is seen struggling in the clash) Now perish, with the rest of your pathetic world!

GOKU: Hungh... Kaio-Ken...

VEGETA: (stunned pause) No...

"Yeah." Nora replied.

GOKU: Times...

VEGETA: (as if trying to deter Goku) No, no, no...

"Yeah, yeap, yep." she continues.

GOKU: FOUR! (Kamehameha overpowers Galick Gun)

VEGETA: Nononononononono-- (gets carried away by the blast) FUUUUUUUUUUU...

"Yeayayayayayayayay--." the lightning absorber finishes.

"It goes, goes aaaaand it's gone." Yang chuckled.

(scene shifts to Kame House)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

(camera cuts in inside Kame House with Bulma, Chi-Chi, Ox-King, Master Roshi, Oolong, and Turtle)

BULMA: Remember when we used to do stuff? You know, be out there with them? And help?

(They all agree. Fortuneteller Baba is seen working her crystal ball.)

OOLONG: And remember the Red Ribbon Army?

"The what what army?" Jaune questioned to which no one answers.

(They all remember)

MASTER ROSHI: And what about King Piccolo?

"How did Piccolo go from 'king' to 'living in a wasteland'?" Blake wondered.

(They all remember, with Bulma saying "Good times. Good times.")

BULMA: Whatever happened to Launch?

(silence)

MASTER ROSHI: Who?

"Who?" everyone else questioned.

(scene cuts to a bar with a hungover Launch and a bartender with "The Singing Sea" from "Cowboy Bebop" playing)

LAUNCH: (sighs)

(scene cuts to the sky)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the plot...

"That has to be a record." Ruby said to herself.

VEGETA: (still getting carried off by Goku's Kamehameha) ...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! (moves away from the blast and starts breathing heavily) Son of a bitch! This can’t be happening! I’m the prince! I’m supposed to be the best by default! (continues to breathe heavily before smirking) I’ll show that little bastard! I’ll become the mighty Ōzaru and crush him into the-- (tires to look for the moon) Where’s the moon? (in distance) WHERE’S THE DAMN MOON?!

"But it's still day." Yang corrected.

(cuts to a flashback of Piccolo staring at the moon)

PICCOLO: MOOOOOOOOOON!!! (fires a ki blast that destroys the moon)

"BLLLLLLAAAAAAST!!!" the hyperactive ginger yelled.

(cuts back to the present where Vegeta lands in front of Goku.)

GOKU: Huh?

VEGETA: Very clever, Kakarot! I’d taken you for a fool but it seems you’re far more cunning than you let on! But destroying the moon won’t stop me! We’ve learned to create artificial moons that supply the necessary pl--

GOKU: Question.

VEGETA: What?

GOKU: Are they made of cheese?

Everyone snickered at the question while Yang looked at her little sister when she asked that question when she was about 4-5 years old.

VEGETA: (short pause) I’m going to enjoy this far more than I should.

(Vegeta creates an artificial moon and shoots it into the sky)

VEGETA: Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, (camera slowly pans up Vegeta's body) as I reveal my giant monkey...

(camera stops in front of Vegeta's crotch; scene cuts to a group of viewers gasping in fear over seeing Vegeta's crotch at a jumbotron)

"Who the hell shot that angle?" the heiress cringed.

"Better question: Who is filling this?" Jaune thinking of the bigger question.

VEGETA: ...form.

(camera moves quickly up to Vegeta's face; crowd watching the jumbotron sigh in relief)

PENIS GUY: Thank God, I thought he meant penis!

"We, gross!" Pyrrha and Ruby both groaned.

(Vegeta begins transforming into an Ōzaru)

GOKU: (thinking) He’s getting huge. That means he’ll only be stronger. That means he won’t be as fast-- (Ōzaru Vegeta punches a plateau Goku is standing on) Oh, God, he’s still as fast! (dodges a punch and lands on the ground) He’s too powerful! I have to come up with a plan! Wait, I know(out loud) I just have to think like a monkey! (closes his eyes)Hmm... (hears screeching noises) Hey, it’s working!

KING KAI: (telepathically) No, that’s just Bubbles. Get off my back, Bubbles!

(a loud thud is heard off screen with Bubbles groaning in pain)

KING KAI: Goku, listen, the only way that you can beat him is if you use the Spirit Bomb!

GOKU: (raises both hands into the sky) On it!

KING KAI: And whatever you do, make sure you’re very well hidden! It’s going to take a lot of time to gather up all that energy!

"Screw campers!" the blonde leader silently complained from his history of play online video games.

GOKU: (gets hit by Ōzaru Vegeta) Aaaaaaggggghhhh!

(crystal ball goes static)

PHONE OPERATOR: We’re sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again later.

KING KAI: Huh.


Part 2


(scene opens up with Goku getting launched by Ōzaru Vegeta's attack)

ŌZARU VEGETA: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary.

GOKU: (thinking) Man, this is worse than that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and... (out loud) Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.

"For some reason I'm have a feeling that something like that exists somewhere." Blake said with a shiver sent through her back.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Now, Kakarot, to finish this!

GOKU: (thinking) Oh man, what would Yamcha do?

"Baaaad choice." Pyrrha stated.

(flashback to Yamcha exploding)

GOKU: (thinking) Um... um... What would Tien do?! (out loud) Wait, I know! (jumps in front of Ōzaru Vegeta)

"Better option, but should've gone with Piccolo." Pyrrha continued.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Prepare to die, Kakarot!

GOKU: Solar Flare! (blinds Ōzaru Vegeta and flies away)

ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAAH!!! My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Frieza in the shower! Wait a minute, Frieza's always naked. AAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

"Sounds like he's speaking from experience." the blonde leader said since he lives with seven sisters and he understands Vegeta's pain.

What, who's this 'Frieza' character Vegeta speaks of?" the crimsonette asked but no one heard her.

GOKU: Alright, that should buy me some time, now let's see. Planet, give me your energy-- everything you can spare!

ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any sort of good death! You’re going to die horribly, terribly, I’m going to eat your... (continues to speak in the background)

GOKU: Oceans, forests, people of the planet, and all the animals that live alongside them! (starts glowing)

ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) I’m going to hammer you... (continues to speak in the background)

GOKU: There, I think I have enough energy-- but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt...

(scene cuts to a large buck groaning and then collapses)

BABY DEER: Daddy? Daddy?

The hole room went quiet to what they witnessed. Yang hugged Ruby who was nearly on the verge of tears, while Ren did the same with Nora.

(scene cuts back to wastelands)

GOKU: (thinking) Alright, that should do it! All finished.

ŌZARU VEGETA: (regaining his eyesight) Finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you!

GOKU: Now, take this! Energy from the entire world! (Ōzaru Vegeta fires a mouth blast at Goku) Well, if that don't beat all... (gets hit with the blast, losing the energy for the Spirit Bomb) AAAAAAAAH! (gets knocked into a plateau and onto the ground)

ŌZARU VEGETA: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?

GOKU: Huh?

ŌZARU VEGETA: Christopher Reeves! (crushes Goku's legs)

"I call dibs on that joke for future reference!" the blonde bombshell snapped at her friends.

GOKU: (in agony) AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible taaaaaaste!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian.

GOKU: A... what?

"Yeah, a what?" Blake wondered too.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Exactly, now die!

(Ōzaru Vegeta prepares to squash Goku with his finger, but Goku retaliates by blasting Ōzaru Vegeta's eye)

ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAUGH!! Again with the f***ing eye! God... dammit!

GOKU: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape.

(shows Goku dodging Ōzaru Vegeta's attacks before jumping into the air... which it turns out to be an imagination in Goku's head)

GOKU: Ah, that would be awesome.

" Yeah... it would be..." Nora admired.

"YOU CAN FLY!" Weiss snapped loudly.

ŌZARU VEGETA: I've had enough of this. (grabs Goku) I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little... (squeezes Goku)

GOKU: AAAAAAGGGH!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin flying away)

GOHAN: Krillin, are you sure my dad's going to be okay all on his own?

KRILLIN: Oh, come on, Gohan, you saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of--

GOKU: (in distance) AAAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

"What does that even mean?" Pyrrha questioned but fell on deaf ears.

(scene shifts back to Goku being crushed by Ōzaru Vegeta)

ŌZARU VEGETA: All right, Kakarot, let's hear those bones shatter! (crushes Goku harder, causing him to squeak) ,"What?" everyone asked, What the? (crushes Goku again, causing him to squeak again) My God, that's hilarious! ,"Agreed." Yang evily smirked, (begins to repeatedly crush Goku, who squeaks while doing so) Hahahah! Muhahaha!

"I think that's his lungs making that sound." Jaune said with concern. 

GOHAN: (arrives to help his father) Get your filthy hands off him, you damn dirty ape!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't?

GOHAN: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground! And with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat!

(long pause)

GOKU & ŌZARU VEGETA: What?

"Yeah, what?" Ruby asked as well.

GOHAN: The bigger they are, the harder they fall! (gets into a battle pose accompanied with a bwong sound)

GOKU: What?

(Ōzaru Vegeta crushes him again, making him squeak)

Yang laughed hard at Goku's squeak.

GOKU: Argh! Stop that!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken. And neither of you have the skill or energy...

KRILLIN: Kienzan! (fires a Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Vegeta's tail, who dodges the attack by jumping)

ŌZARU VEGETA: ...to take me on.

KRILLIN: (offscreen) Dammit!

"Maybe he shouldn't shout out attacks." Weiss states while everyone else laugh.

ŌZARU VEGETA: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters—all of them—worthless in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! None of you! (tail gets cut off by Yajirobe)

"Well... He didn't say anything about cowards stopping him." Blake smirked.

YAJIROBE: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning! (runs away)

(Ōzaru Vegeta drops Goku)

GOKU: (squeaks as he slams the ground) Ow.

ŌZARU VEGETA: God... God dammiiiiii... (reverts back to his original form)

VEGETA: ...iiiiiit! (starts breathing heavily)

KRILLIN: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN-- (gets sent flying into a boulder)

(Krillin Owned Count: 9)

KRILLIN: (in pain) Oh God...

"I still feel sorry for Krillin." Ruby stated with her big sister asking "why?", "Because he's determined to fight even with the odds stacked against him."

VEGETA: (to Gohan, who's whimpering in fear) You know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail, or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I have come full circle. (punches Gohan in the stomach and throws him next to Goku) Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this.

GOKU: (telepathically) G-Gohan, is that you?

GOHAN: (telepathically) Hey, daddy... I'm... really sorry.

GOKU: (telepathically) It's okay, Gohan... You tried your best... At least you got home to your mother and told her to--

GOHAN: (telepathically) Um, actually, I never went home... I came back to save you...

GOKU: (telepathically) Oh...

GOHAN: (telepathically) D-Daddy?

GOKU: (telepathically) Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan... (reaches out to Gohan's hand) But we have to be strong now, okay?

GOHAN: (telepathically) Daddy... (reaches out to Goku's hand)

GOKU: (telepathically) Son... (gets kneed in the stomach by Vegeta)

"I was about to feel something there but he ruined it." Blake said with a disappointed face.

(eyecatch animation from DragonBall Z plays)

(Goku is seen spitting out blood as Gohan screams in horror)

VEGETA: What now, Kakarot? (stomps on Goku's stomach) You damaged me! (begins kicking Goku repeatedly) You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride! (gets kicked by Gohan) Ow, my pride!

(Gohan and Vegeta begin exchanging blows in midair)

GOHAN: I'll teach you to hurt my daddy!

VEGETA: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left! (Gohan elbows Vegeta in the eye) UAGH! (thinking while holding his right eye) Gah! My eye! Why is it always the god damn eye?!

GOKU: K-Krillin, come here. I have something to give you. (Krillin limps over to Goku)

KRILLIN: Your last will and testament?

GOKU: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.

KRILLIN: And you're giving it to me?

"Its either you or Gohan, so you should feel lucky, Krillin." the four-time champion stated.

GOKU: I'm kinda out of options... (passes the remaining of the Spirit Bomb over to Krillin)

"Yeah, Gohan is kinda busy." the cat-earred Faunus reminded.

KRILLIN: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!

"Remember that moment Krillin, it's the only time you gonna feel it." Ruby said confidence.

(Vegeta is seen gaining the upper hand against Gohan, launching him onto the ground)

VEGETA: (while walking towards Gohan) Alright, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son! (begins running towards Gohan)

KRILLIN: (thinking) Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This is Planet Earth's very essence! (out loud) BOO-YAH, MOTHERF**KER!!! (throws Spirit Bomb at Vegeta)

"Booyah!" Nora shouted along with Krillin.

VEGETA: (stops running and notices the Spirit Bomb) Wh-what the hell is-?

KRILLIN: ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL!!! (Vegeta dodges the Spirit Bomb by jumping) Gyaaaah! God dammit! (continues pouting in background)

"Did he learn nothing from failing to hit with his Distructo Disk technique?!" Yang loudly questioned.

(Spirit Bomb is seen flying at Gohan)

GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan, listen, you have to bounce it back at Vegeta.

GOHAN: (telepathically) But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that.

GOKU: (telepathically) Don't worry, Gohan, you can do it. You're a good guy.

GOHAN: (telepathically) Oh, okay, if you believe in me then I'll--

GOKU: (telepathically) Or it'll kill you.

GOHAN: (telepathically) What?! (puts his hands out, making a spring sound effect from Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing the Spirit Bomb back at Vegeta)

VEGETA: There's nothing left now-- your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can-- (thinking) What smells like deer? (notices the Spirit Bomb but gets hit at point-blank) WAAAAAH!!! (gets blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb) CURSE MY HUBRIS!!!

KRILLIN: (jumps into the sky) Yahoo! (rushes towards Goku) Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb!

GOKU: (telepathically) Way to go, you guys. (Gohan starts laughing)

KRILLIN: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again. (Vegeta lands next to Goku and Krillin) Alive again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant. (approaches Vegeta's motionless body) But at least it's finally over.

"He's jinxed it twice now." Yang whispered.

YAJIROBE: You gonna eat that Saiyan?

KRILLIN: Wha--

YAJIROBE: Dibs!

KRILLIN: Rrright. Anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and--

VEGETA: (wakes up) HUAAAAAAAH!!

KRILLIN: WAAAAAAHH!!

GOHAN: AAAAAAAHH!!

YAJIROBE: UAAAAAHHH!!

KRILLIN: WAAAAAHH!!

VEGETA: AAAAAAH!!

GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!!

YAJIROBE: UAAAAHHH!!

(everyone continues yelling in the background)

GOKU: What's going on, guys? We won, right?

Everyone else in the room lose their composure and laughed.


Part 3


 

(scene opens up with Vegeta recovering from the Spirit Bomb)

VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you... BITCH SLAP!!!

KRILLIN: OH SNAP!!!

(Vegeta slaps Krillin, knocking him down and whining in pain)

(Krillin Owned Count: 10)

VEGETA: (walks up to the remaining Z-Fighters) And as for the rest of you... I’m going to end this, with a Big Bang... kind of attack.

"Hmm... might want to remember that for later use." Weiss wanting to remind herself for any future episode.

(Vegeta begins gathering up energy)

GOKU: Oh, this isn’t going to end well... (closes his eyes)

(Vegeta screams and unleashes an explosive attack, causing Krillin, Goku and Gohan, who gets knocked away, to scream)

VEGETA: (breathes heavily and notices that everyone's still alive) Oh, you have got to be kidding me! They’re still alive?! Oh to hell with it... (begins floating and lands next to Gohan, with an arrow pointing to his tail)

"Wait a damn minutes," Weiss gestured as Ruby paused the episode, "if Gohan regrew his tail, somehow, and Vegeta's moon ball... thing is still in use, then Gohan should be able to take out Vegeta with it."

"What makes you say that?" Jaune unsure on what the heiress is getting at.

"What I mean is that Gohan can transform and smash Vegeta up. Simple really." the white-haired teammate simplifies. When she finished the scythe-wielder presses play.

VEGETA: (thinking) I may not have enough energy to kill you all at once, (begins walking towards Gohan) but I can still kill all of you without any troub--

(Yajirobe comes out of nowhere and slashes Vegeta's armor with his katana)

VEGETA: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!

"That's some old armour." Jaune comments.

"Coming from the one who's sword is ancient." Yang replied.

YAJIROBE: I’m sorry, I’m sure your father was a great man!

VEGETA: I hated my father!

"Then, why are you wearing it then?" Blake gestured.

YAJIROBE: Well then, I’m sure your father was a total prick.

VEGETA: (punches Yajirobe in the face) How dare you talk about my father like that!

"Make up your mind!" Nora groaned.

(Yajirobe gets sent flying into a pile of rocks)

VEGETA: (while beating up Yajirobe) Finally, I can just sit back and enjoy myself. No cares in the world! (Gohan is seen staring at Vegeta's artificial moon) I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I-- (stops attacking Yajirobe) I think I’m forgetting something...

(Gohan begins his transformation into an Ōzaru)

VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid-- that’s right! (in his thoughts) Oh wait, I’ll just become the mighty Ōzaru and... Wait, I don’t have my tail! (out loud to Yajirobe) This fat bastard cut it off!!

YAJIROBE: Haha-- (gets hit) Ungh!

VEGETA: (begins attacking Gohan to stop his transformation) No, no, stop it! Stop it, damn you! Why?! Why won't you people just diiie?! (Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru)

"Stubbornness?" the blonde bombshell guessed off the top of her head.

"You sure know a lot about that." Blake remarked only to be silenced by a red eyed death glare.

KRILLIN: (noticing Gohan as an Ōzaru) Yay! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna save us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and smashes rocks)

KRILLIN: (covering his head) Oh no! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna kill us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and grabs a huge rock)

GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan? This is Daddy... I know you’re angry right now, but you have to focus your anger. Re-Remember Icarus?

"Who's 'Icarus'?" Everyone question, but then awed at a baby Dragon only to witness it being blown up.

(shows a flashback of Icarus getting blasted. Ōzaru Gohan is angry)

GOKU: (to Vegeta) He did it!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars in anger)

VEGETA: Oh, that's bulls***! (dodges Ōzaru Gohan's attack) I haven't killed a damn thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not for a lack of trying, mind you.

"What about Nappa, you killed him, didn't you?" Nora being inquisitive.

(Ōzaru Gohan continues to attack Vegeta)

VEGETA: (to Yajirobe) Hey fatass, wanna take off this one’s tail too?

(cuts to Yajirobe groaning in pain)

VEGETA: FINE! I’ll DO IT MYSELF, THEN! (fires a Destructo Disk at Gohan's tail, cutting it off) Haha! I did it! I’m the best, around! (Ōzaru Gohan begins shrinking in front of Vegeta) No one's ever going to keep me down... (notices Ōzaru Gohan falling right above him) No... (Ōzaru Gohan falls on top of him) NOOOOO!!!

"Yes... YEEESSSSS!" Yang shouted as Vegeta said 'no'.

(Vegeta gets crushes by Ōzaru Gohan, cuts to Vegeta badly injured with Gohan, naked and unconscious, lying on top of him)

VEGETA: (thinking) Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... (takes out a small remote control device to call his space pod) Yep, I think I’m done here...

(cuts to the ruins of East City where a number of radiation-suited investigators are gathered around Vegeta and Nappa's space pods)

KIRK: So Mr. Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?

SPOCK: Well sir, I would have to find it highly illogical to refer to this as a "ship"; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell-- (Vegeta's space pod becomes active and flies away)Aaah!

KIRK: Suck it, Spock!

(cuts back to the battlefield with Vegeta's space pod landing in front of him)

VEGETA: (thinking while flipping himself over) Alright, I’m just gonna get in my ship... (starts crawling to his pod) I’m gonna fly back to Frieza Station... And I’m gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...

"So they do have alcohol." Yang whispered to herself owning the Remnant isn't the only planet to have stiff drinks.

KRILLIN: (appears next to Vegeta holding Yajirobe's katana) You’re not going anywhere! You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives and just leave??

VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?

"No." Weiss and Blake said together.

KRILLIN: I’m going to end this, and YOU, RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!!!

(Krillin prepares to kill Vegeta with Yajirobe's katana, but stops short)

GOKU: Krillin, wait! Vegeta, are you sorry?

"WHY DID HE STOP HIM?" Yang shouted as her eyes turned red, "he could of ended it right there and then."

VEGETA: Wh-What?

GOKU: If you say you’re sorry Vegeta, then you can leave.

VEGETA: You can’t be serious...

"I have to agree with him on this one." Jaune state.

KRILLIN: What are you talking about Goku? He killed all of our friends!

"Actually, that was Nappa, and Vegeta killed him." Pyrrha corrected.

GOKU: But Krillin, if he’s sorry—truly sorry—then there’s nothing we can do.

"You're a horrible hero." Weiss bluntly said without a care.

VEGETA: I’m sorry. Yep, totally sorry. I just feel terrible.

GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.

KRILLIN: But-But Goku...

VEGETA: (now inside his space pod) Yes, I am very, very, very sorry... (space pod closes) That you’re all still alive! (blasts off into space) SUCKERS! (starts laughing from inside his pod) Ah, it hurts to laugh!

"DAMN IT GOKU!!!" Everyone yelled out.

NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one hundred thou!

(cuts to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: You cheating son of a--

NARRATOR: Can’t hear you, don’t care! Now where was I... (cuts back to Earth) how will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of DragonBall Z Abridged!

(scene cuts to Vegeta's space pod flying through outer space)

"Oh not done yet, my guess is it teases the next season." Ruby wondered with excitement.

VEGETA: (thinking) They’ve broken my body... I failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but at least... it can’t get any worse from here...

"He shouldn't have said that~." Yang sang to herself.

"Why is that?" Ren wondered to what she means .

???: Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa...

VEGETA: Wh-What?

NAPPA: (appears as a ghost) I'm haunting you.

"And then things got worse, for him." Yang smirked.

(Vegeta's space pod is seen flying off into the distance)

VEGETA: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(credits roll with Ghost Nappa's theme song, a parody of the Ghostbusters theme song, playing in the background)

♪Vegegeta-geta gegegegegeta♪

♪Vegegeta-geta GHOST NAPPA! Yeeeah!♪

"Yeah, I'm digging this song." Nora cheered.

♪If there’s something strange, in your neighborhood.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

♪Is it something weird? And it don’t look good.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

Nora quickly pulled out her Scroll and searched for the song and downloaded it.

♪Yo, Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-you know you love me as a ghost-geta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-WHOOOOO!♪

"Well, that was a thing." Yang quoted to break any silence anyone had.

"It was certainly something." Pyrrha backchatted.

"Oh right, so about the bets." Ruby reminding everyone since part 1, "how are we going to spilt up the winnings."

"Well, I betted on Goku finishing Vegeta with the Kaio-Ken, Jaune stated on Vegeta living after the fight, and Yang, Pyrrha, Weiss, Ren and Nora wanted Goku to win, sooo..." Blake working out how to separate 20 Lien between 6 people, so she give the 3 Lien each as payment.

"Alright sis," Yang said, " when's the next season?" wanting to know because she really enjoyed the series so far just like everyone else, even if one or two off them won't admit to it.

"Well~, there's seems to be a special episode title 'Bardock: Father of Goku', four non-canon movies, and Kai video? And that's before the next season can be watched." the crimsonette explained when looking through the Dragon Ball Z Abridged playlist.

"Ohhh no, first we need to rest It's already 7:35 and you promised to train for the tournament that's coming up soon." the heiress reminded her leader, teammates and friends.

"Alright fine, but when everyone's free, we'll watch the next video, OK?" the scythe-wielder asked and everyone agreed as Team JNPR left for their dorm while Team RWBY ready themselves to bed.

Chapter Text

Days passed since the end of Dragon Ball Z Abridged season 1 as Team's RWBY and JNPR were sparing in Beacon Academy's combat arena with Professor Glynda Goodwitch monitoring the 4v4 practice fight in the corner while several students watched the fight between Beacon's two best first-year teams.

Class' were cancelled due to the Vytal Festival just coming up in a few weeks and everyone was excited, especially Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long and Nora Valkyrie, to fight against other hunter-trainees in the tournament. The sparing fight ended in a draw with Pyrrha Nikos and Weiss Schnee being the last ones standing with both Aura levels entering the red zone. The day ended while both teams asked one another to continue watching the abridge series, and they all agreed.

The hunters entered RWBY's dorm with Ruby setting the holo-T.V. and connected her Scroll with the 'Special Episode' visible on the screen.

"Alright, is everyone ready?" The crimsonette questioned to her sister, friends, and Weiss, and they answered with some form of a 'yes' and the scythe-wielder pressed play.

(shows an outside shot of Planet Vegeta with the sound of an infant crying being heard)

NARRATOR: Long ago, on a planet long forgotten by time...a young hero was born. A righteous Saiyan warrior who would bring peace to the galaxy. This...is not his story. This is the story of another Saiyan warrior, who slaughtered millions of innocents and brought terror to those who heard his name. And that name is...

("Bardock: Father of Goku Abridged" appears on the screen)

(Cut to Bardock and his crew in their Ōzaru forms causing a rampage on Planet Kanassa with "Dare" by Stan Bush playing in the background. By morning, all of the Kanassans have been exterminated and shows everyone but Bardock laughing.)

"Well, that's some introduction." Blake sarcastically stated.

"I like song, though I don't think it suits the intro all that well." Nora said with a little excitement in her tone just for watch this series again.

PUMBUKIN: And then I tell the guy, "Don't be angry, I'm just Saiyan!" (everyone but Bardock start laughing)And then I tore out his throat.

(silence)

"Dark." Yang's voice said with everyone else being silent.

TOMA: Hey, Bardock, heard you had another kid. Congrats. Who's the mom?

PUMBUKIN: I bet it's Selypa. I see the way you two look at each other.

BARDOCK: Nah, it'd never work out between us.

TOMA: Why not?

BARDOCK: Are you kidding? She's a raging dyke.

"Well, ain't he quite the charmer?" Pyrrha rhetorically questioned.

SELYPA: I'm right here, you asshole!

BARDOCK: And?

SELYPA: God, this is why I hate men.

Weiss and Blake agreed at the statement based off their interactions with Sun and Neptune.

BARDOCK: Point proven.

PUMBUKIN: So, uh, why did we attack this rock in the first place?

BARDOCK: I dunno. The mission briefing said this planet was full of psychics.

"So they don't question why they attack planet after planet and act like blind loyal soldiers?" Jaune wondered with concern.

"Whoever is leading them must be a psychopathic tyrant." Yang stated, unaware of how very descriptive her assessment on the villain truly is.

TOMA: Wait a second. Doesn't that mean they can see the future? Don't you think they should have seen us coming?

BARDOCK: Just because they're psychic doesn't mean they're smart.

TOMA: But, aren't psychics supposed to have unbelievable mental--

(a surviving Kanassan warrior emerges from the rubble)

KANASSAN: I can see the future!

Nora bursts out laugh at the quote and will remember it forever.

PUMBUKIN: Hey, look! One survived.

KANASSAN: Oh, no! They can see me! I have to stop you from destroying my race...in the future!

BARDOCK: We already did that.

KANASSAN: I knew you'd do that! Now I have to kill you! (rushes at Bardock and hits him in the back of the neck) Now you too can see the future! (gets blasted by Toma) WAHHH! (is now seen on fire) I'm on fire! AHHH! (gets blown up by Bardock)

"I wonder what burning aliens smells like?" JNPR's leader questioned.

"Don't. After all, you wanna keep lunch IN your stomach." The heiress said while slightly gagging on her words.

TOMA: Well, that was...odd.

PUMBUKIN: Hey, Bardock. What do you think he meant about you seeing the future? Bardock? (Bardock collapses on the ground) Bardock? Bardock? Say nothing if you want me to eat the remains of that alien. (is heard making munching noises as the screen goes black)

"There's no accounting for taste with some people..." the cat Faunus said with disgust.

(cut to Freeza)

ZARBON: Lord Freeza, the reports are saying that Kanassa has been seized.

"Wait, so that's Freeza!?" Everyone shouted out as they were expecting something different in their minds.

FREEZA: (sounding like an old hag) Thank you, Zarbon. That's very good to hea-- (starts coughing and then speaks in his normal voice) Ah, sorry about that. I had something in my throat. Continue, Zarbon.

ZARBON: The reports say that it was overtaken by a group of low-level Saiyans led by Bardock.

DODORIA: Yeah, that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.

ZARBON: He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything.

FREEZA: Hmm... Doesn't afraid of anything, indeed...

(cut to Bardock inside a healing tank)

BARDOCK: (thinking) What...? What's going on? (sees Planet Vegeta exploding) Is...that my planet? (sees his son as an infant and then as a kid) Wait, who is...? Is that my son? Where is he? Hold on... Is he befriending that alien race? Oh, I get it. He must be earning their trust before he slaughters them all. (screen goes black) Wait...now everything's gone dark. Is...is it over? Am I...? (Mr. Popo's face appears on the screen)

MR. POPO: Hi.

(Bardock lets out a muffled scream as the water in the healing tank drains down)

Even the hunters slightly screamed at Mr. Popo's intervention.

SCIENTIST: Bardock, are you all right? Your heart rate skyrocketed.

BARDOCK: *gasps* I'm okay! I'm okay. It's just...eyes. Where am I, anyway?

SCIENTIST: Well, you're on Freeza Planet 692.

BARDOCK: Man, you'd think with all his free time he'd come up with better names for his planets.

(cut to Freeza inside his ship)

ZARBON: So Lord Freeza. Now that we have Kanassa under our command, what shall we--

FREEZA: 419!

ZARBON: Right, right...

(cut back to Bardock)

BARDOCK: Anyway, where's my team? Are they already on a new mission?

SCIENTIST: Yes, well, it seems that Freeza passed down a new mission just two hours ago. By the way, while your here, would you like to see your son, Kakarrot?

BARDOCK: Kaka-wha? Oh right, his name. Nah. Think I'll pass. Didn't pay attention to Raditz when he was growing up.

SCIENTIST: Oh, yes, and we both know how he turned out...

Everyone slightly chuckled the Scientist's sass at Bardock.

(Bardock pauses for a brief moment and then cuts to him standing in front of a nursery with Kakarrot crying inside.)

BARDOCK: Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! (thinking) Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... (scouter starts beeping) All right... Whoa...! 10,000! That's my boy! (sees name plaque) Wait...Broly? (shifts over to Kakarrot's plaque) Ah, here we go. (scans Kakarrot with his scouter) Kakarro-- (starts groaning in dismay) Two? Crap! (out loud) There is no possible way this day could get any more disappointing... (runs off)

"And he just jinxed himself." The blonde brawler said with sarcasm in her voice.

(cut to another planet with Toteppo getting killed)

TOMA: Bardock's going to be so disappointed.

DODORIA: I think Bardock is the least of your concerns.

TOMA: Why? I don't understand. We've served Freeza loyally. (Dodoria picks him up)

DODORIA: Seems Freeza wants you dirty Saiyans out of the picture... And I'm just willing enough to oblige him.

TOMA: Don't you get it? Chances are someday he's just going to kill you, too.

DODORIA: Yeah, well, see... I'm more of a "in-the-now" kinda guy. Like, what am I gonna eat now? What am I gonna kill now? And in this regard, you're probably gonna be both.

TOMA: You... You won't get away with this.

DODORIA: Oh, yeah? Well tell me something... What looks like crap, feels like crap, and probably ain't gonna wake up in the morning?

TOMA: Is... Is it me?

DODORIA: And that's the punchline.

"Well that was darker then that terrible joke after the intro." The Mistral champion stated with wide eyes while everyone silently agreed with her.

(Dodoria throws Toma in the air and punches him in the jaw before cutting to Bardock arriving at the planet)

BARDOCK: (sees multiple corpses of the planet's inhabitants) Whoa, looks like I'm late to the party. Where's the gang-- (sees the corpses of his crew) Oh... Oh. Oh, God! Guys... Tell me you're just resting in the blood of your enemies! Selypa... Totepo... Pumbukin? Toma?

TOMA: (weakly and coughs a few times) P-present...

BARDOCK: Toma! Oh, thank God Toma, you're okay. I'll be honest, you're the only one I really cared about. Everyone else was kinda bland. 'Cept for Selypa, she was the only one here with a decent pair of t--

TOMA: Bardock...listen. Freeza's...turned on us. He's afraid of the Saiyans. He sent someone to...to take us out.

BARDOCK: (terrified) Oh, God! He sent the Ginyu Force?

They questioned who in their minds.

TOMA: No...

BARDOCK: (less terrified) Zarbon?

"I going to assume that's the green-skinned alien with that Freeza guy." Nora asked with some confusion as Ren confirmed her assumption.

TOMA: No...

BARDOCK: (disappointed) Dodoria?

TOMA: Sorry...

BARDOCK: Listen, it won't end like this! We're not too far from a healing planet. We're gonna get you fixed up. We'll get you better, we'll warn everyone else, and then we'll-- (Toma closes his eyes and dies) (thinking)My best friend just died in my arms, didn't he? Yep... Yeeep... (removes Toma's handkerchief and cleans the blood off his fallen comrade's face) All right, Plan B. Don't worry, my friends. You shall all be avenged! (clutches Toma's handkerchief, which starts turning red with blood) If Freeza's afraid of us, I'm gonna give him something to be afraid of. (starts tying the bloody handkerchief on his forehead) Then I'll know why I'm still alive... And I'm gonna rain hot vengeance down upon every single one of those sons of bi--

"Language!" WBY shouted out loud while Yang was covering her baby sisters ears.

(Eachpe fires a bunch of ki blasts at Bardock)

EACHPE: All right guys, let's hit the show-- (scouter beeps as Bardock appears above him) Tell my brother, Appule, I love him! (Bardock hits him hard on the skull) Aaah... (starts falling to the ground)

MANGO: Eachpe, no! (he and his comrades fire a ki blast at Bardock, who vanishes before all three blasts connects) Where the hell is he?

LEMI: Keep sharp! These Saiyans can pull off all kinds of tricks! You have to be very careful--

MANGO: Got him! (fires a ki blast through the smoke, accidentally shooting down his teammate) Pierre, no! You dirty monkey!

LEMI: You're the one who killed him, you ass!

MANGO: Oh, gee Lemi, I never thought of it like tha-- Shut the f**k up! (both of them start charging at Bardock)

Half of the room was chuckling at the Freeza Forces banter.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Man, I can't believe they lost to these guys! What a bunch of-- (starts having another vision) Oh, sweet crap, not again!

KAKARROT (GOKU): (through vision) Kaio-ken!

BARDOCK: Kaio-wha-- (gets kneed in the face) Ugh!

"The 'Kaio-what' joke, that's going to be here for awhile." Nora chuckled.

(Lemi grabs Bardock from behind as Mango proceeds to punch him in the stomach. Bardock starts having another vision.)

BARDOCK: (through vision) For years, you've kept us under your foot...

BARDOCK: (thinking as he's getting pummeled in reality) What? Is that me? That's it!

MANGO: NOW, DIE!

(Bardock manages to flip over, causing Lemi to get in the way of the attack)

LEMI: What the f-- (gets punched in the back by Mango, coughing up blood) Guah! (Badrock breaks free and fires a ki blast) Goddamn it, Mango, you team-killing f**ktard! (both he and Mango scream as they get disintegrated by the blast)

"Huh, why does that quote sound oddly familiar." Ruby thought as she suddenly remembered it came from a series named "Red vs Blue" if she was correct. But her thoughts were cut short as the episode continues.

BARDOCK: (thinking) I understand what I have to do now. I'm going to raise an army. We're going to rebel against Freeza. And nothing is going to stop me. (scouter starts beeping) What the--? (turns to see Dodoria charging up a mouth-beam) (out loud) USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS! (screams as he gets engulfed by the blast)

They laughed at Bardock's chant.

DODORIA: (singing "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen)
♪Do-do-do, another one bites the dust♪
♪Dodo-do-do-do, another one bites the dust♪
♪And another one gone, and another one gone♪ (flies off)
♪Another one bites the dust♪
♪Hey, I'm gonna get you too♪
♪Another one bites the dust...♪

The hunters calmed their laughter down when Dodoria left.

BARDOCK: (muffled while under his teammates' bodies) Oh, God! It's true! You really do soil yourself when you die! Ah, it's everywhere! It's in my Dodoria wounds! (frees himself from under the pile and starts coughing) Oh, well, uh, later guys. Off to raise that army. Vengeance... Yada, yada...

(cut to Kakarrot inside a space pod)

OPERATOR 1: All right, little guy. Time to send you to planet "Ee-arth."

OPERATOR 2: I think it's pronounced "Earth."

OPERATOR 1: That sounds stupid.

OPERATOR 2: You're stupid!

"I don't understand how it sounds stupid." The Valkyrie said.

"Don't worry Nora, you're not the only one." Her partner reassured.

(cut to Freeza's ship)

FREEZA: So... how did the mission go?

DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.

ZARBON: Where are your men?

DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.

FREEZA: So, you're absolutely sure you killed every single living thing on that planet?

DODORIA: Complete...Annihilation.

(Bardock's space pod is seen flying by Freeza's ship)

"His face says it all." Yang giggled to herself at Dodoria's reaction.

ZARBON: So, "Complete Annihilation," huh?

DODORIA: (stammers a few times before speaking) I'm sorry, Lord Freeza. I'll go take care of it right away.

FREEZA: Oh, forget about it. He's already on a direct course for Planet S.O.L.

ZARBON: Planet what?

FREEZA: (groans) Planet...

(cut to Bardock)

"Hahahahaha, S.O.L. almost stands for 'Shit Outta Luck'." The brawler continues to laugh and everyone ensues.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Vegeta! I've gotta warn King Vegeta.

(cut to a bar with many Saiyans socializing as George Thorgood's "Bad to the Bone" plays in a radio)

"Was that Raditz in the background?" Blake observed.

"I don't think so, probably someone that has the same hair style as him." Weiss stated.

BARDOCK: (enters inside from a door) You guys! Freeza's going to... (hit a table) Augh! (falls to the ground)Who put that table there?

SAIYAN 1: Dude, Bardock, are you wasted?

BARDOCK: Nooo. But my crew is...

SAIYAN 2: You smell like poo!

"Gross!" Ruby gagged.

BARDOCK: Listen to me! We don't have much time. Freeza's on his way here and he plans to kill us all! We have to raise an army and--

SAIYAN 3: You're mom's an army! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing)

BARDOCK: What are you, stupid?! Do you--

SAIYAN 4: You face is stupid! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing again)

BARDOCK: Augh! Do you idiots even get it? Freeza's about to commit genocide on our entire race!

(short pause)

SAIYAN 5: Cool story, bro! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing once more)

"So childish," the white-haired teammate said, "Ruby is more disciplined then those rapcalliens."

BARDOCK: You know what? F**k it! I'm done! I hope you all die and go to hell! (runs off)

SAIYAN 6: Wow, that guy's a douche.

"Speak for yourself." Jaune backfired.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Screw them! I don't need an army. I took on those elites, I can take on this tyrant! Freeza must be stopped...no matter the cost!

("You Got The Touch" by Stan Bush starts playing as Bardock flies off towards Freeza's ship)

ZARBON: Lord Freeza, Bardock is approaching from the planet--

FREEZA: Waves of Freeza-soldiers...

(multiple Freeza soldiers start flying down from the ship)

DODORIA: It's raining men!

ZARBON: Hallelujah!

BARDOCK: FREEZA!

(soldiers simultaneously fire a ki blast at Bardock)

SOLDIER 1: Yeah, take that-- (Bardock rushes forward and elbows him in the face)

BARDOCK: FREEZA!

(Bardock flies through the multiple soldiers, killing a few of them in the process)

BARDOCK: FREEZA! (gets dogpiled by multiple soldiers) FREEZA!

SOLDIER 2: Ah, yo, Bardock, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but--

(Bardock launches a blast to free himself and continues flying forward, ramming through multiple soldiers. It then shows the onslaught through a monitor at Freeza's ship.)

ZARBON: Sir, I think he wishes to have words.

FREEZA: Oh, whatever gave you that impression?

ZARBON: Well, he does keep on shouting your name.

BARDOCK: (over the speaker) FREEZA!

FREEZA: Just get my freaking bubble car.

"His what-now?" Weiss questioned.

ZARBON: Too bad. That Bardock was such a dashing rogue...

DODORIA: What?

"What?" Pyrrha asked.

(Freeza emerges from inside his ship on his bubble car, which makes a Jetsons mobile sound effect)

BARDOCK: There you are, Freeza! I've been looking for you.

FREEZA: Well, I'm not exactly hard to find!

BARDOCK: We've had enough of this! We're done working for you, Freeza!

SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Uh, just so you know, that man does not speak for us!

BARDOCK: We're here to kill you, and take our planet for our own!

SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Seriously, we're not with him!

BARDOCK: For years, you've kept us under your foot... (continues speaking inaudibly under Freeza's thoughts)

FREEZA: (thinking) Oh, lord, these heroic types with their speeches. "Blah, blah, blah, injustices. Blah, blah, blah, tyranny. Blah, blah, blah, Freeza, stop killing me!" God, does he have any idea how hard it is to run an empire? I've got other things to do today, you know... Like decide what wine will I have for dinner tonight. White wine, red wine, or dare I say...rosé? Oh, perhaps I should give Cooler a call; his birthday's coming up. Nah, he's a prick. Wait a second, where was I? Oh right, mass genocide. (starts charging a Supernova)

Everyone was laughing at Freeza's thoughts and thinking that mass genocide this just the norm for him.

BARDOCK: ...end your miserable life, once and for all! (starts charging up a ki blast) Now... Take this, Freeza! The power of the Saiyan race! (hurls his blast at Freeza) Hyah!

(Bardock's blast is seen flying towards Freeza and his growing Supernova and gets swallowed by the tyrant's blast. Freeza starts laughing madly and fires his now massive Supernova directly at Planet Vegeta.)

"And that's how Freeza FINGERED almost the entire Saiyan Race." Yang joked with her puns but no one laughed.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Well, I'd say I should have seen this coming, but that would be ironic...

(Bardock gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova, with many pieces of his armor falling off)

BARDOCK: (thinking) I see it... My son. He... He's facing Freeza! He's gonna do it! He's going to avenge our people! But, wait... Wait, there's more... He fights...a giant green bug...man. And then a...giant...pink...man-child. Oh, no. It's dark again! Where...? What is...?

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara...

PARAPARA BROS.: Bonpappa!

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!

PARAPARA BROTHER 2: I'm gonna lay this one down thick like whole milk!

PARAPARA BROTHER 3: Raise the cane, ra-ra, ra-ra-raise!

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!

"What the hell?" Everyone asked all at once at what they just witnessed.

BARDOCK: (thinking) And I now welcome the sweet embrace of death... (Supernova falls and collides with Planet Vegeta)

(cut to Cooler in his spaceship)

SAUZA: Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying ze Planet Vegeta!

COOLER: Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys. Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could have done that at the zoo...

SAUZA: Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship. We are within range to intercept--

COOLER: No, let it go.

SAUZA: But, why?

COOLER: Because, I'm a prick.

(cut to Planet Vegeta getting destroyed)

NARRATOR: And so, Planet Vegeta was destroyed, along with all its inhabitants. Save a lone Saiyan child...and his brother...and a space pirate...and a renegade monster and his father...and, of course, Prince...

(cut to kid Vegeta and Nappa)

NAPPA: Vegeta!

Nora cheered in happiness to see Nappa again. And then realised, "Holy crap, Nappa wasn't always bald. He looks even more awesome."

VEGETA: What is it, Nappa?

NAPPA: Well, I've got good news...and bad news. The bad news is...reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.

VEGETA: Aah... But, what about--

NAPPA: Aaand your father.

VEGETA: My whole family...! My race!

NAPPA: But the good news is, we're going to Dairy Queen!

Nora laughed at Nappa's 'good-news'.

VEGETA: My entire race is go--

NAPPA: DAIRY QUEEN!

The hammer-wielder laughed harder.

VEGETA: Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.

NAPPA: Yaaaay! This seems the beginning of a beauuuutiful friendship...

"How about of an annoying nightmare." Blake bluntly stated.

 

(cut to planet Earth with Kakarrot being heard crying...again)

GRANDPA GOHAN: Oh look, someone threw out a perfectly good baby. Aren't you just adorable? I think I'm gonna call you...Clark. Heeeey, Claaarrrk. (thinking) Nah, that sounds stupid. (speaking again) Oh! How about...Goku? (Goku starts laughing) Yes, Goku! You like that, huh? Yes, you do! Whee! Wheee! Wheeeee! Whoops! (Goku is seen landing hard on his head) Uh, oh.

"And that's why Goku became an idiot hero." Yang jokenly said while Ruby giggled a little.

(credits roll)

There was brief silence as they didn't know what to think about this episode. Weiss, Blake, Ren, Jaune and Pyrrha had mixed feelings for the episode but mildly enjoyed it non-the-less, while Ruby, Yang and Nora enjoyed it a lot more because of its action and the characters interactions.

"So, who's ready for the first movie?" The scyther-wielder questioned her teammates as they said 'yes' and Ruby pressed the next video to play.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Piccolo in a rocky area)

PICCOLO: RAAAAAGH! (blows up giant rock formations with his scream) (thinking) Perfect. Now I have a place to put my castle once I rule the world. "In the middle of a wasteland...?" Weiss questions, And it'll have all the things a castle requires. "Then again, it IS fiting for him." Blake resured, Like walls...and subjects. (out loud)Maybe even a tribu-- Huh? (notices a shadowy figure heading towards him) (thinking) Wait, are they running on air? "They're Oum" Ruby sreamed, (looks behind and sees another shadowy figure behind him) That's ridiculous, they're flying! Why would they ever even need to-- (a third shadowy figure uppercuts him from below) OH, GOD!

NIKKI: F**k him up! (the three shadowy figures attack Piccolo) From the front!

SANSHO: To the back!

PICCOLO: Oh, you better just KILL me! (sees four shadowy figure preparing to attack) ...Shit.

"Be careful what you wish for~" Nora sang to herself.

(The three shadowy figures simultaneously fires a blast at Piccolo, who screams as all three blasts connect. Cut to Kami inside his Lookout.)

KAMI: OH!

MR. POPO: (from outside) You okay in there, Kami?

KAMI: Mr. Popo, I believe...that Piccolo may have been slain!

"Then how are you still..." Weiss was about to question again but was silensed by Yang.

MR. POPO: (from outside) I think you'd know if he were! ...You still there?

"Yeah, that..." the heiress corrected herself, thanking her blonde teammate in her head. 

KAMI: Yes.

MR. POPO: (from outside) Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?

KAMI: But you don't understand!

MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queen!

Some of the hunters were starting to giggle under the breathes.

KAMI: I think Garlic Junior may have--

MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queeeeeeeeeen... (is heard walking away)

When they lightly laughed at the genie's sense of humour.

KAMI: Mmm... Garlic Jr.'s back.

"What about his back?" Yang joked on as she, along with everyone else, was recovering from Mr. Popo's moment

("DragonBall Z Abridged" logo first appears on the screen and then disappears to show the text "Dead Zone")

(cut to Gohan in the forest)

GOHAN: (reading "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn") "Miss Watson, she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by, they fetched the nig--" "Wow!" everyone shouted in unison while Yang covered Ruby's ears, Huh, that's not a word I've ever heard before. "Your mother would not approve." Blake snapped, Oh, well. "They fetched the nig--"

"NOPENOPENOPE." the bombshell blonde chanted to herself while continuing to cover her sister's ears.

CHI-CHI: (from inside the house) Gohan, lunch is ready! Come help me set the table!

"Thank Oum!" Jaune gasped in reliefe.

"Saved by the Chi-Chi." Pyrrha thanked to herself.

GOHAN: Oh, yay! And Dad's gone fishing! Which means I'll get seconds!

(Gohan closes his book and then cuts to Goku underwater who seems to hear this and immediately jumps out of the water, naked and holding the tail fin of a fish. Cut back to Gohan walking toward his house.)

"Imagine if he'd been that fast when the Saiyans showed up." the crimsonette joked to her friends as they imagined Goku running at that speed without any cared.

GOHAN: Huh?

OX-KING: Hey! Gohan!

GOHAN: Grandpa Ox!

CHI-CHI: (walks out the front door) Oh, Daddy! What are you doing here?

OX-KING: I wanted to drop by and see my grandson! Also, money for you guys to live!

"Guess he's Ox-fam." The pun escaping Yang's lips.

"Laaaaaaame" everyone else groaned.

CHI-CHI: Thank you, Daddy!

OX-KING: I also brought you a gift, Gohan!

GOHAN: *gasps* A puppy!

OX-KING: BOOKS!

GOHAN: (eyes narrowed, in an uninterested tone) Yay...

"Can't he at least get a GameBoy?" the blonde leader questioned with simpathy.

CHI-CHI: Oh, I'm sure he'll love them. Won't you, Goha-- (a book falls on Gohan's head) Daddy?

GOHAN: Grandpa? Grandpa? (the Ox-King collapses and almost falls on Gohan) Mom.. Mom! MOM! (runs to Chi-Chi) Mommy! Grandpa's having a stroke!

CHI-CHI: Huh? (notices a cloaked hooded figure)

GINGER: Hi.

CHI-CHI: Gohan, go inside immediately!

NIKKI: (is waiting inside the house) Oh, yeah! Come on in! (eats a bunch of pears)

"That was gross," Blake complained with Weiss agreeing, "It's like watching Ruby doing that the other week at lunch."

"I was busy with something and lunch was ending!" the scythe-wielder protested.

CHI-CHI: (thinking) Son of a bitch just ate my pears. "You in fo' an ass kicking." Nora cheered, (out loud) You know we don't have a car, right?! That's like a ten mile Nimbus ride to the nearest city! For pears! You have ten seconds to tell me what you want before I strangle you with that cowl!

GINGER: I want the DragonBall! Give me the kid!

CHI-CHI: What? You can't have my son. You just want the DragonBall, right?

GINGER: Don't question my f**king methods! F**k it! I'm taking your dad! (lifts up the Ox-King a bit then drops him)He's a f**king fatass! Forget it! I'm gonna take your kid!

"Tha fu..." everyone thought all at once.

SANSHO: (off-screen) Yo, Ginger...

GINGER: Oh, right! Dragon Ball, too! Please! ...If you wouldn't mind.

CHI-CHI: I do.

GINGER: Too f**king bad!

CHI-CHI: Enough of this! (charges at GInger only to get knocked down easily)

GOHAN: Mommy!

GINGER: Ha-ha! F**king what?

(cut to Goku running while carrying the fish and arriveing on the scene to find Chi-Chi on the ground)

GOKU: Chi-Chi! I heard lunch! What happened?!

"He gets back from 'fishing' and his first concorn is what happened to his lunch!?" Weiss summed up what Goku has running through his mind, propably.

CHI-CHI: Goku, they took--

GOKU: Our lunch?

CHI-CHI: No. They took...our so--

GOKU: Oh, hey. Your dad's here. Hi, Ox-King!

CHI-CHI: Focus! They took...Gohan!

"They took your rice?" Ren question, "am I hearing this right?"

"No, you heard corrently, Ren." the white-haired heiress corrected.

GOKU: Aw, man! I can't have him miss lunch! It's the fourth most important meal of the day! Right after brunch...but right before linner. ...Love me some linner, though. So I'ma go get Gohan back. We'll be back in time for linner. Chicken and waffles? Chicken and waffles. (the Ox-King coughs) Oh, and some for your dad.

Ruby was chuckling so hard inside herself at Goku's random waffling.

(cut to inside garlic Jr's castle)

GARLIC JR.: So let me get this straight. "Weird ass castle" Jaune commented, I sent you shipdits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler?

SANSHO: Well, we did bring back the DragonBall!

GARLIC JR.: And a toddler! Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?

NIKKI: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese Prince look together.

"Was that racist or something?" the cat Faunus asked out of confusion.

"Yeah, Nora and I saw something like that during our younger years in Mistral's lower-levels." the quiettest member mentioned.

GINGER: And he's your size. You can ROCK that shit!

GARLIC JR.: ...Fair enough.

GOHAN: My daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!

GINGER: Big f**kin' whoop! We beat Piccolo, and that guy's strong as shit!

GOHAN: Yeah? So did my dad!

GINGER: By himself?!

GOHAN: Yeah!

GARLIC JR.: (realizes there's only one man strong enough to defeat Piccolo) Oh God, your father's Goku. OH MY GOD, YOU MORONS STOLE GOKU'S KID?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU STEAL GOKU'S KID?!

"They didn't think that Goku would have the 4-STAR DRAGON BALL?!" the Schnee furisoly yelled while Ruby tried to calm her down before she gets out of hand.

NIKKI: Well, first we beat up his wife...

GARLIC JR.: Oh, my shit... Okay, look. New plan: get the last two DragonBalls. NOW!

NIKKI: Oh, yeah! We'll just go off, scour the globe, and be back before linner! *laughs* You know, it's not like they make a radar for this shit...

(cut to inside Kame House with Goku and the gang looking at the Dragon Radar)

GOKU: Oh, yeah. Someone is collecting the DragonBalls.

BULMA: Why'd they take Gohan?

GOKU: I don't know. Maybe they just want a good ol'-fashioned Goku fanny-whoopin'!

BULMA: "Fanny"?

GOKU: Chi-Chi doesn't like us to swear.

BULMA: "Butt" isn't a swear!

GOKU: ...The HFIL you talkin' about?

(cut to Nikki chasing Gohan around the castle)

NIKKI: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIPLIN!!!!

GOHAN: No! You smell like hairspray and shea butter!

NIKKI: Swear to God, I don't know how I got put in charge of babysitting. I need something to take the edge off. (grabs and bites an apple, then gets smacked from behind by Gohan)

"That might explain some things." Jaune whispered to himself.

GOHAN: You're it! (takes off)

NIKKI: I will slap FIRE FROM YOU! I swear to God... (walks upstairs and finds Gohan) Oh, good. There you are. Now, be a good little crotch spawn and let's go back to your room!

GOHAN: I'm hungry!

NIKKI: Ah, well, maybe I can make you a peanut butter, jelly, and ether sandwich, and-- (Gohan pulls out an apple from his robe) Where did you get that apple?

GOHAN: In the tree.

NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!

GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple.

NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!

GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple!

NIKKI: DO...NOT...EAT...THAT A-- (Gohan eats the hole apple) Oh, balls... "Same thing happened to me last time I babysat." the knight said while everyone looked at him sustuslly, Well, I hope you packed your bags, kid. Because you're about to go on a TRIP...

"I'm not allowed near kids anymore because of that one time." Jaune also commented to ess the edge off the conversation.

(Gohan goes on a trip that would make Alice's trip in Wonderland jealous before cutting to him spacing out)

"What did we just witnessed?" Ruby now terrfidy for her life, as well as everyone else in the room, as she glinded to her bigger sister for protection.

"I don't know," Blake answering her leaders question, "but I thing we'll have nightmares for weeks because of it."

"I believe we just saw a murder, more than one I think..." the Mistral champion said with eyes wide and terrified expression on her face.

(cut to Ginger and Sansho returning to the castle)

GINGER: Got the last motherf**kin' balls!

(cut to all seven DragonBalls together and glowing)

GARLIC JR.: Got to say, I'm sort of impressed. How did you find them so fast?

GINGER: Prize in a high stakes poker game!

GARLIC JR.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.

GINGER: Never said I played!

GARLIC JR.: Once again, fair enough.

(they summon Shenron, the eternal dragon)

SHENRON: I am the eternal dragon. Make your wish, and I shall--

GARLIC JR.: MAKE ME IMMORTAL!

SHENRON: OH! R-really? Wow! I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that! "Too bad he didn't meet Vegeta till after he lost interest." Yang said, Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.

GARLIC JR.: Wait, the hell's that mean?

SHENRON: It means YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED! (makes Garlic Junior immortal and disappears)

GARLIC JR.: Yes! YES! I can feel it! With this eternal body, I shall enslave the world and rule it with great prejudice and terror! Hail Garlic Jr.! HAIL ME! (starts walking inside his castle)

MINIONS: HAIL GARLIC JR.! HAIL GARLIC JR.!

GOKU: HEY, GARLIC JR.!

MINIONS: HEY, GARLIC JR.! Huh? (they all turn around to look at Goku)

GOKU: I am Son Goku! And your name sounds yummy!

"I mean, he's not wrong." Ruby whispered to herself.

GARLIC JR.: I have been told.

GOKU: So, uh... Did you guys steal my kid?

GINGER: Yup! F**kin' Amber Alert up in here!

NIKKI: Oh, don't worry about him, he's just high in the throne room.

GOKU: Joke's on you! I can fly!

GINGER: ...I think he's f**kin' dumb.

"And I'm glad that they knowtested that." Blake said with a smile on her face.

KAMI: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (drops in from the sky)

"Did Mr. Popo kick Kami off the Lookout or did he just jumped and fall from orbit?" Ren questioned with, as well as everyone else, in such disbelieve.

"I bet it was Mr. Popo reminding him about the pecking order." Nora said with excitement in her tone.

GARLIC JR.: And then there's THIS asshole!

KAMI: Oh, hello, Goku. What are you doing here?

GOKU: They stole my kid.

KAMI: Mm.

GARLIC JR.: I'm quite surprised you're still alive, Kami! I believe the last time we talked was... Oh, when was that? Oh, right. When you BANISHED my father to another DIMENSION!

KAMI: Oh, Garlic Jr.. How awful to see you again. You're looking grotesque as always.

GARLIC JR.: Oh, hi there, kettle, name's pot! Have we met?

Everyone giggled at Kami's and Garlic Jr's interactions with each other.

KAMI: Listen, Goku. Just go after your son. I'll handle Garlic Jr..

GOKU: Thank God!

KAMI: You're welcome. (Goku dashes past Garlic Jr. and heads inside the castle)

"You're no Oum!" Everyone internelly screamed.

GINGER: Catch that bitch! (takes off after Goku)

NIKKI: Slow your roll, champ! (also takes off after Goku)

SANSHO: Hey, yo, wait for me! I'm bigger than y'all! (follows his comrades and takes off after Goku)

(Garlic Jr. and Kami stare at each other before cutting to Goku inside the castle)

GOKU: Man, left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch! Maybe this place has a cafeteria. No, it's a castle. (stops in the middle of the hall) A meatery? (begins running up the stairs only for Garlic Junior's minions to block his path)

GINGER: You want some food? We can hook you up! How 'bout some motherf**kin' ginger?!

NIKKI: Or maybe some cinnamon?!

SANSHO: I got some pepper for you. You like pepper?

"Are they seriously talking about their names." the Heiress groaned with little fusteration.

GOKU: Hey, those aren't foods! Those are things you put ON foods!

GINGER: Like GINGERBREAD?!

NIKKI: Or CINNABUNS?!

SANSHO: I-I got nothin', um... "Pepperoni?" Jaune stated.(pause) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGS!

"Not really contradicting him there..." the blonde leaders partner said.

(all three minions bulk up)

GOKU: Okay, now you're just making me hungry! And you wouldn't like me when I'm-- (gets attacked by the minions) Wait! Ahh! (hits a pillar and then gets back up on his feet) ...Hungry!

"Wasn't that some to relate to another franchise or something?" the crimsonette asked with confusion.

"Yeah, what was it though, MAR-VELL or something like that." Ruby's sister stated with some form of an answer.

(cut back to Garlic Junior and Kami)

GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, you mad that I tried to have you killed?

KAMI: More confused why you target Piccolo instead of me. Not that it matters; I'm going to put you down for good, not unlike I did your FATHER, you miserable little--

GARLIC JR.: And I will enjoy watching you fail! Because you see, before you arrived, I used the DragonBalls to grant myself immortality! (starts laughing)

KAMI: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then used the DragonBalls?

GARLIC JR.: (stops laughing) What? Yeah, why? Oh, shit... Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my minions are so incompetent!

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that one." said JNPR's resident ninja and everyone did forget about that but failed to bring it up.

(cut back to inside the hall with Goku knocking all three minions to the ground)

GOKU: Now tell me where the meatery is! ...And then the throne room! ...Please tell me the meatery is IN the throne room! (Nikki an Sansho fire a blast at Goku, but their blasts gets redirected by two blasts) Huh?

KRILLIN: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! Hey, Goku! Looks like you could use some help!

GOKU: Not really, no. Hey, Krillin! Is that a second power beam?

PICCOLO: 'Sup?

(Krillin screams and jumps back)

GOKU: Oh, hey, Piccolo!

GINGER: You alive?!

GOKU: Well, of course he's alive! Kami's alive! I mean, you guys have used the DragonBalls, right?

GINGER: ...Oh, wow! Yeah! Thank God we incompetent!

"Employee of the Year, everyone." the blonde bombshell joked on.

PICCOLO: Not even gonna lie, this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a castle. Walls, ceiling, meatery...

GOKU: WHERE?!

"Way to establish prorities, Goku." the cat Faunus bluntly said.

PICCOLO: (eyes the minions) ..Could do without the spice rack, though.

(Krillin is freaking out, when he feels liquid on top of his head, and he looks up to find that Gohan has wandered out and is now peeing on his head)

KRILLIN: WHY--- (begins to gurgle as his mouth fills up with urine)

"WHY DID YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH!?" the white haired member shouted in confusion and fusturation.

The other blantly said "Gross." while Ruby calmed Weiss down.

(Cut back to Kami and Garlic Jr. who have begun their battle. Kami tries firing eye beams at Garlic Jr, but he evades them and headbutts Kami to a pillar.)

GARLIC JR.: (punctuates each word with a blow) WHERE...IS...YOUR...GOD...NOW?! (the last punch sends Kami through the pillar, who manages to hold onto an edge to avoid falling) So, Kami, why don't you pray for your life? And then, like every person who's ever prayed to you, I'll ignore it! (Kami begins to glow) What the-- (Kami uses an Explosive Wave to send Garlic Junior crashing into a wall and landing on his face) (muffled) In case you know... This means war!

(cut back to inside the castle)

GOKU: Gohan! (runs for the stairs, but his path is once again blocked by the minions) Krillin, I take back what I said! Get my son!

KRILLIN: Woo-hoo, I'm helping! (starts running up the stairs, but runs into Sansho)

"At least more heplful than Yamcha." the hammer-wielder quietly joked to herself.

SANSHO: I'ma break your butt! (charges at Krillin, but Piccolo sends a blast through the floor, which causes him to fall)

KRILLIN: Oh, thank God he's on our side! (runs after Gohan)

PICCOLO: I was aiming for the short, bald one, but...you'll do.

SANSHO: You mean! (gets blasted him through a wall)

PICCOLO: Not so tough without your two back up dancers, are you, ugly?

SANSHO: Now, why you gotta be throwin' out mean words like that?!

PICCOLO: You know, that's fair. How about I grab a couple of friends and try to murder you instead?

SANSHO: Well personally, I think that would be uncalled for! (Piccolo hits him again, sending him stuck onto a wall)

PICCOLO: You're right. Because unlike you.. (finishes off Sansho with a blast) ..I don't need help. (starts walking outside)

"That is both awesome and dark at the same time." the blonde knight stated with awe across his face, and everyone agreeing on what he said.

(deeper inside the castle, Goku is still fighting against Ginger and Nikki, who arm themselves with swords)

GOKU: Oh, come on, you guys! That's not fair! I can't pull swords out of my body!

NIKKI: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL! (he and Ginger gang up and attacks Goku)

GOKU: (while dodging each of their attacks) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (they cut some of his hair) NO! MY 'DO! (hits block both Nikki and Ginger's attacks with his power pole) STRANGER DANGER! (extends the power pole to send Nikki crashing to the ground)

Ruby had stars in her eyes as she saw the Power Pole extends.

GINGER: That shit gets LONGER?!

NIKKI: (muffled, in pain) OH, YEAH, IT DOES!

GOKU: GOKU KICK! (kicks Ginger in Nikki's direction) Kamehame...

GINGER: You ain't got shit! (fires a blast of his own)

GOKU: HA! (fires the Kamehameha wave, which swallows Ginger's blasts and sends him flying in Nikki's direction)

NIKKI: (thinking) Friggin' hell... Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big...

GINGER: INCOMING!!!

NIKKI: OH, MY GOD! (they both get caught in the blast)

GINGER: (muffled from underneath the rubble) What a...a douchebag... (groans with his hand becoming limp)

"That was the lamess death ever, of all time." Nora said with disappointment on her face.

(cut Kami and Garlic Jr. now inside the castle, and Kami's not doing any better than he was before)

GARLIC JR.: What's wrong, Kami? Fallen and can't get up? Do I need to push that big, red button for you? (Kami stumbles forward and lands on Garlic Jr.'s shoulder) ...Okay, you're making this weird, Kami.

KAMI: We'll see how that immortality works out for you when I've blown us both into bits! (locks his arms around Garlic Jr. and begins charging his attack)

"Does he not understand the concept of 'Immortality'?" the four-time champion wondered.

GARLIC JR.: Oh, really? You want to stress-test this? Sure, go ahead! And while my men are scraping little green chunks off the wall, I'll be partying in my throne room with a harem of sexy demon skanks! Seriously, what part of IMMORTALITY don't you understand?

PICCOLO: Actually, I'm with him. I'm gonna have to ask you not to blow yourself up right now.

GARLIC JR.: Well, well... It seems you've eluded my men!

PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.

GARLIC JR.: Oh God, they're all dead, aren't they?

"That's surprising?" Blake also wondered.

GOKU: Yup! Thank goodness they were so incontinent!

GARLIC JR.: Looks like if you want someone killed right...you kill them yourself!

PICCOLO: Ooh, I might use that!

"And he doesn't." Yang braking the sense of seriousness.

(Garlic Junior bulks up, being ten times his original size)

GOKU: Huh... For a second, there, I swore he was gonna yell out "spaghetti" or something... (Garlic Jr. attacks him and Piccolo and fires a blast, with both of them getting out of the way. Goku grabs Kami to and drops him at a safe distance.) Kami! Stay here and don't move! (takes off)

KAMI: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.

"More of a DUMBASS." the blonde brawler joked on but met with no laughter.

(Piccolo throws a punch at Garlic Jr., which does absolutely nothing)

GARLIC JR.: (speaking in a more deeper voice) Been bulking since I installed the meatery!

GOKU: ( jumps in front of Piccolo and attacks Garlic Junior) Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?

GARLIC JR.: I'm sure you can find one in hell! (fires a blast at Goku and Piccolo simultaneously, which causes the castle to start falling apart)

(cut to Krillin running to avoide the falling rocks while carrying Gohan)

KRILLIN: (repeatedly says, "Crap!" to the Tetris theme) ♪Crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap, crap.♪ (gets hit by a massive beam on the head, causing him to fall unconscious and drop Gohan, who gets buried under debris)

"How did they survive?" Weiss quetsioned.

"You do realise it's an anime, right?" Jaune reminding his 'ex-crush'.

(cut to Goku hiding from Garlic Junior)

GARLIC JR.: TOOT TOOT! (grabs Goku by the head)

GOKU: Aahh!

Team's RWBY and JNPR laughed at Garlic Jr's train inpression.

PICCOLO: (thinking) Ugh, my WRIST.. It doesn't hurt a LOT, but it's DEFINITELY uncomfortable.. Maybe I should get a wrist brace or some--

GARLIC JR.: PAIN TRAIN'S COMING! (grabs Piccolo's head as well)

GOKU: Hey, Piccolo!

They contiune to laugh even more with the greeting from Goku.

(Garlic Jr. takes both of them outside of the castle by bursting through a wall)

GARLIC JR.: Next stop: ROCK BOTTOM! (crushes them both into the ground)

GOKU: (muffled) I get it! (he and Piccolo get away) That's it! Takin' off my clothes! (takes off his shirt)

PICCOLO: Wait a minute, why would you even bring your weighted gi?

GOKU: Why would you? (Piccolo takes off his cape and turban)

PICCOLO: Because I don't have a house to leave them in!

GOKU: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox-King's money?

PICCOLO: What world do you live in?

GOKU: One with a house...and a wife...and a son!

PICCOLO: ...I really don't care for you right now. (both he and Goku charge at Garlic Jr.)

"Well, he DID kill your dad." RWBY's cat ninja recollected.

GARLIC JR.: Give me your best sho--

(Goku and Piccolo blast him simutaneously, sending him flying away)

GOKU: And that's the way the garlic crumbles!

KAMI: You DO realize he's immortal.

PICCOLO: Pretty sure you chop garlic.

KAMI: Seriously, he wished for immortality before you showed up!

GOKU: Either way, I call this another win for Goku!

PICCOLO: 'Scuse me? That was my kill!

"Are they doing this right now?" Yang questioned with her little sister responding with a "yep".

KAMI: He's going to get up at any moment! He's got this technique, too, and it's--

GOKU: Piccolo, it's not a competition! I already won!

KAMI: You can still sense him! He's not--

PICCOLO: I am going to wear your entrails as sweatbands!

KAMI: I can literally see the debris SHAKING!

(Goku and Piccolo ignore Kami and attack each other, and Garlic Junior gets back up)

GARLIC JR.: I AM ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT DONE!

(summons the a dark abyss known as the Dead Zone, which begins sucking up everything, although Goku and Piccolo don't notice until it causes the floor below them crumbples, which causes them to fall)

GARLIC JR.: This is the Dead Zone! The SAME dimension you banished my dear father to, Kami!

KAMI: So is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!

GARLIC JR.: EAT A DICK, YOU WRINKLED GREEN DUSTBIN!!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Kami's remark on Garlic Jr's father.

(the dead zone is starting to suck everything into it, including the castle)

PICCOLO: NO! My castle! (starts flying towards the Dead Zone, but Goku manages to grab him by the foot)

GOKU: Hey, Piccolo! He's not dead!

PICCOLO: YEAH, how 'bout that?!

KAMI: YEAH, HOW 'BOUT THAT?!

PICCOLO: Well, then...this victory is MINE! (fires a blast at Garlic Jr., but it just bounces off)

GOKU: ...You want, I should take a turn?

PICCOLO: Shove it, Goku!

They continue to chuckle.

(meanwhile, Krillin regains consciousness as he is being sucked toward the Dead Zone)

KRILLIN: OH GOD, NO!

GARLIC JR.: EVERYONE IS GETTING SUCKED TODAY! Demons, humans, and Gods alike! It's even sucking up your children!

GOHAN: LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!! (crashes through the debris he was buried under)

GARLIC JR.: Huh?

GOKU: Gohan?! Krillin, you had one job!

GARLIC JR.: Oh, how cute! And what is the four-year-old going to do to stop me? (Gohan sends a blast at him which hits him head on) Ah. (flies inside the Dead Zone, which shatters)

"That felt..." Weiss trying to find the right word to describe the villains end.

"Anticlimaxtic?" Blake finding the correct word her white-haired teammate.

(cut to Gohan sleeping in Goku's arms)

GOHAN: (wakes up and see Goku) Daddy!

GOKU: Hey, son!

GOHAN: What happened?

GOKU: I don't know! I think I won.

GOHAN: You're the best, daddy!

GOKU: Uh-huh! Now, let's go han, Go-home! It's almost time for dikfast! (picks up his power pole and walks away with Krillin and Kami)

PICCOLO: (watching from above) ...I'm gonna steal that kid.

"At least he did something right in the series." the scythe-wielder stated based off watching the first season.

(shows Goku and Gohan heading home on the Flying Nimbus)

NARRATOR: And so, the brave Son Goku and his son defeated the evil Garlic Jr.! With the help of Piccolo, Kami, and the greatest ally known to man-kind...

KRILLIN: ...The sex master and kung-fu legend-- (cut to Kame House) KRILLIN!

Nappa: (on the phone) Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna have to stop you right there. First question: WHY would he summon the Dead Zone--the only thing that could defeat him?

"Wait a damn minute, is that NAPPA!? the hammer-wielding ginger shouted with excitement on seeing her favourite character back from the dead.

"Yes Nora, yes it is." her partner confirms for her.

KRILLIN: Okay, you know, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.

Nappa: Second question, I mean no offense: Why exactly were you there?

KRILLIN: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting...

Nappa: And WHY did you write yourself getting peed on?

"Good bloody question" Pyrrha said with curosity.

KRILLIN: The better question is: how much will you PAY ME to get peed on?

"I thought you paid THEM for a golden shower?" the blonde brawler wondered.

Nappa: ...You're gonna go far in this business.

KRILLIN: Woo-hoo!

[The film, Skygina, was eventually produced.

It grossed 7 billion Zeni in its first week.

Due to Krillin's lack of foresight, however, as well as a convoluted contract, he received no money from the film and was stricken from the credits.

He now lives, broke as the day he was born, at Kame House.]

Aww, Nappa lied to him." Nora complained.

This is Vegeta all over again." Weiss also complained.

"The Prince, the planet or the king?" Blaked questioned.

"Yes?" the heiress said with uncurtonty.

("Twlight Zone" by Golden Earring starts playing as the credits roll. Garlic Jr. is shown pounding his fist as he is trapped in the Dead Zone.)

"Alright, who needs a bathroom break? Ruby questioned before the next movie poped onto the screen and paused it. Everyone sorted themselves out with going to the toilets and getting a snack from the caffaterina.

They all returned to their seats and the leader of team RWBY pressed play to begin the second movie.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut over to the icy mountains with a gigantic pillar of light being shown, which causes snow to tumble down as it reveals that the blast came from Piccolo)

PICCOLO: (shivering due to being out in the cold) G-good. Progress on my...ice castle is underway. I'll have to...install central heating. "In an ICE castle?" Weiss questions, Body is n-ninety percent water... "And by simple biology, he should be already dead." the heiress contines ranting, And this CLOAK DOES NOTHING!!

"If only there was a way to create clothes out of air." Yang sarcasticly stated, already knowing from the first season about the 'clothes beam' technique.

"Whatever happened to the castle in the wasteland?" Blake started to wonder since the previous movie.

OOLONG: Well, maybe you should have have packed more.

(cut over to Oolong and Gohan somewhere else in the icy mountains)

GOHAN: Y-you never said we were going to the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains... Literally the coldest place on Earth... You just told me, "Hey, Gohan! I stole--"

OOLONG: "Found."

GOHAN: "--found the Dragon Radar. Wanna go make a wish?"

"Chi-Chi ain't gonna like this." Ruby said like she saw someone getting in trouble by the teacher.

OOLONG: How about a little less whining and a little more climbing? They just found the sixth ball! (shows six DragonBalls beeping on the radar)

GOHAN: It kind of seems wrong that we're planning on stealing a wish... Which reminds me. What are you planning to wish for?

OOLONG: (envisions himself leading a Nazi-like pig group) Justice.

"WHAT THE HELL, OOLONG?!?!" Everyone shouted at the vision inside the pigs head.

"Revenge is not the answer." Ren said with little caution in his tone.

GOHAN: What?

OOLONG: Panties. Gonna wish for panties.

GOHAN: Oh, Oolong, you're incorrigible!

"Stop him before it's too late!" the crimsonette yelled out.

OOLONG: Yeah, yeah, just get the lead out before they find the seventh-- (the Dragon Radar alerts him that the seventh ball has been collected) Oh, oink me in the alps.

Some of the hunters laughed at the statement because in their heads it's "F*ck me in the ass."

(shows all seven DragonBalls on the snow and glowing)

KOCHIN: Rise, Eternal Dragon! Did I do it right? "Honestly, no one is really sure." Jaune honestly said, I hope I did it right. (there is a burst of energy and all seven DrgonBalls fall off of the cliff) Aw, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh shit! Is that bad? Can they break?!

(there's another burst of energy and Shenron appears)

SHENRON: *sighs* Okay, what do you assholes want this ti-- (sees Kochin) Oh. OH! "Now, don't freak out, just like you practice." Nora jokingly stated, Hmm... I am the Eternal Dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it.

KOCHIN: I have scoured the planet for you for the last fifty years. "Didn't happen to catch him the quadrillion times he was used, huh?" Ruby said bluntly, With you lies my only hope... Eternal Dragon, I beseech you, with your bountiful, mystic power... Could you please melt the ice off my front door?

"Dumbest. Wish. Ever." Pyrrha's thoughts were said out loud, "Of all time."

"You mean besides panties?" Weiss compared.

SHENRON: E-excuse me?

KOCHIN: Look, I left to get groceries fifty years ago. Bit of a trek to civilization. Came back, the entire lair was iced over. Went back, got some salt. Pretty evidential real quick that that wasn't going to work. Tried fire, melted it. That just made more ice--try and figure that out. Then I tried, uh... I'm sorry, is this a little unorthodox?

SHENRON: Just a little, yes.

KOCHIN: I'm sorry, I'm not really used to the whole 'magical dragon' thing. I'm an engineer by trade.

"Couldn't you make something then?" the cat Faunus asked with confusion.

SHENRON: Hey, look, it's fine. But, how 'bout--just throwing it out there--I give YOU the power to melt the ice!

KOCHIN: But that's what I have YOU for...

SHENRON: Yes, I know, but I'm trying to--

KOCHIN: Don't you go pawning this off on me!

SHENRON: I'm not, but if it happens AGAIN, then... You know, fine. Whatever. (eyes glow red and then proceeds to melt the ice)

"And the ice shatters making the global warming worse." the heiress playing scentist mockingly noticing.

KOCHIN: Oh, wow! That was fast!

SHENRON: Yeah, well, I just put a massive hole in your ozone layer. What, took you fifty years to find me? Good luck figuring out how long it takes THAT to fix! Shenron, out.

"Peace." the scythe and hammer wielders said in unison while swinging a peace symbol from their fingers.

(Shenron disappears and the seven DragonBalls fly up in the sky and scatters)

OOLONG: No! My Schwein-Staffel!

KOCHIN: Finally! Now, to reunite with my master, and... Oh, crap. Did I leave my keys at Slump's?

"What were you doing in Penguin Village?" Blake asked while everyone else looked at her in confusion, "What?"

"You know of Penguin Faunus' having their own village?" the silver-eyed girl wanting to reconfirm what her black haired member was talking about.

"Yeah, there's a village up in Atlas full with Penguin Faunus, there was one in the White Fang called Slump too."

"Cool."

"Although I think he left shortly before I did because of his family were in their 70's."

(shows a silhouetted figure of Goku preparing to use the Spirit Bomb by lifting both hands in the sky as it shows a brain in the background as well as the text that reads 'The World's Strongest')

(cut to Gohan and Oolong investigating the newly-uncovered lab)

OOLONG: All right, what the hell is this and why did my wish get wasted on it?

"Thank Oum." the white haired teammate whispered.

GOHAN: It looks like an...evil lair!

OOLONG: Oh, no... Nope, uh-uh, no way! I know how this goes! (leaps off Gohan and tries to run off) You can't make me-- (gets stopped in his tracks by a blue warrior) Damn it all!

GOHAN: Don't worry, Oolong! I'll save you--

(three more blue warriors appear and proceed to ambush Gohan)

"What a hero." Weiss sarcastically said.

"He's 5, I think, give him a break." Pyrrha defended.

OOLONG: Get 'em, Gohan!

(Gohan continues to be beaten up until Piccolo grabs one of the blue warrior's hands)

"Piccolo, help." the lightning absorber cheered like a young child.

PICCOLO: (is blue-skinned from head to toe) Hey, Gohan. C-c-c-cold enough for ya?

GOHAN: Mr....Piccolo?

PICCOLO: Did we miss some Saibamen?

BIOMAN: We are Biomen.

"Bullshit." Everyone thought.

PICCOLO: I feel like we missed some Saibamen.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...

PICCOLO: J-just watch out for the explodey ones. Don't wanna pull a--

YAMCHA: Hey, guys! I was in the middle of training, and I saw what went down-- (a Bioman grabs him and starts glowing) WHY?! (Bioman explodes off-screen)

"Yamcha being Yamcha getting Yamcha-ed?" the blonde leader questioned if what he said made any sense.

PICCOLO: That. Don't wanna pull a that. (shows Yamcha on the ground groaning in pain...and defeat)So...wanna help me build my ice castl-- (begins to scream as he's blasted from underground)

"Good Oum, the lungs on that guy." Yang worried.

GOHAN: Mr.... (Piccolo continues screaming) Piccolo... (passes out as he and Oolong fall through the ice) (later regains consciousness inside a cave) Mr. Piccolo? Oolong! I think Mr. Piccolo's in trouble!

"Oh, what tipped ya off?" Jaune joked on.

OOLONG: Oh, no. I'm fine, Gohan. Thanks for asking.

GOHAN: Yeah, well, sorry, but he was screaming pretty loud, and--

OOLONG: When's the last time you saw a fight where someone didn't scream? "A very fair point." JNPR's ninja ashored. "In an anime? That exists?" Yang questioned, Now. We are going to go home, and you are not going to tell your mother about this little outing.

GOHAN: But I--

OOLONG: DO NOT TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS!

GOHAN: Okay! Fine. Why do I feel like I'm going to hear that for the rest of my life?

"YoU cAn SeE tHe FuTuRe!!" Everyone, minus Weiss and Ren, shouting a reference from the first special they seen.

OOLONG: Because you are.

(cut to Goku's house)

CHI-CHI: You're seriously not going to talk to him?

GOKU: Why? He came back safe and sound.

(inside, Goku is doing push-ups with his thumb and Chi-Chi is cooking)

CHI-CHI: He was gone for three days, and refuses to tell us where he went or what he did.

GOKU: Oh, come on, Chi-Chi. I lived in the woods for eight years all by myself.

CHI-CHI: That's why you're not his role model.

"And Piccolo is better?" the blonde brawler questions.

GOKU: 'Course not. Piccolo is.

(shift to inside Gohan's room, who's doing his homework)

CHI-CHI: And THAT is a conversation we desperately need to have.

"Why? Have you MET Piccolo recently? He'd honestly make a better father AND, possibly, husband." the ninja Faunus said with some truth behind her words.

"Though there is the issue of him teaching Gohan how to use 'Demon Energy'." JNPR's ninja countered.

"But there'e pros and cons with any relationship." Ruby reashores.

GOHAN: (sighs and sits back on his chair and remembers seeing Piccolo back at the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains along with an explosion with Yamcha screaming) I sure hope Mr. Piccolo's doing alright.

(shifts to a wierd dream with Gohan walking on a planet with Piccolo on the peak of a mountain)

PICCOLO: Gohan! Gohan! I'm trying to reach you telepathically! (shows Gohan flying with two animals and a book with Chi-Chi creeping in the background) God, Gohan, they've captured me! (shows a brief shot of Piccolo and then shifts back to Gohan walking on a red planet behind Piccolo, who's also walking) Gohan! They're torturing me! They're forcing things into my brain, Gohan! Gohan! My veins! (shows Gohan alone in a sunset area) GOHAN!!!

 

CHI-CHI: Gohan!

PICCOLO: MY VEINS!!!!!!!

"What in the actual hell???" Everyone mentally questioned themselves at what they witnessed.

"Whats that better or worse than the previous one." Yang whating to hear the others opinion. Everyone agreed that the one from the first movie was more terrfying.

CHI-CHI: Gohan! (back to reality where Gohan wakes up) Gohan, what is going on with you?

GOHAN: I... I was dreaming.

CHI-CHI: Well, have you finished your homework?

GOHAN: Oh, Mom! I'm never finished.

CHI-CHI: That is the correct answer. (begins to leave the room but stops) Gohan, you're not on drugs, right?

GOHAN: It was just the one apple, Mom.

"WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER ABOUT THAT?!" Nora loudly questioned.

"Better qustion: Does is mean that the movies are connected to one another?" JNPR's leader thinking bigger.

(cut over at Kame House)

OOLONG: This is some old bullshit! Just because I stole the Dragon Radar means I have to do all the prep work? "That ain't luttuce he's working with people." Yang using her puns again, Where does he even grow this stuff, anyway? He doesn't have a basement... (shrieks as Bulma appears beside him)

BULMA: Best not to ask too many questions. Also, have you checked the oven?

OOLONG: Oh, hell.. (opens the oven, which emits black smoke causing him to cough repeatedly before opening his eyes, which is now red) Great, now my entire evening is gonna be spent trying to find something to watch on Netflix!

MASTER ROSHI:  (from upstairs)  Those better not be my brownies, pig!  (coughs and someone knocks on the front door)   Oh, geez. Turtle, can you get that? I can not find my feet...

"He's higher than the non-existing moon." Nora giggled.

(Turtle goes outside to see who it is)

TURTLE: What up? You got the money?

(shows the face of a Bioman)

BIOMAN: We want the Roshi!

TURTLE: And WE want the money.

BIOMAN: Bring us the Roshi, or be destroyed!

TURTLE: How about you get the hell off our island?

BIOMAN: There are six of Biomen and one of Turtle!

TURTLE: I am nine hundred and ninety-nine years old. I don't give a f**k!

The room started to giggle at the turtle's carelessness.

(Master Roshi comes out the door coughing)

MASTER ROSHI: Are you the buyer? 'Cause there's gonna be a bit of a delay. (coughs a few more times) Turns out pigs can't cook brownies.

BIOMAN: You have been forcefully in-vited to the laboratory of Dr. Wheelo!

MASTER ROSHI: I only need one doctor, and that's "Feelgood". Also, my GP to check my prostate every few years; it's important at my age.

BULMA: (walks out the front door) Roshi, what the heck is going on-- (sees the Biomen) Wait, are those Saibamen?

BIOMAN: We are Biomen. And if you do not comply, we will make you!

MASTER ROSHI: Ooooh, it is a bad time for this...

BIOMAN: Prepare for combat!

(the Biomen attack and are easily defeated by Master Roshi, with one of them landing next to Turtle)

MASTER ROSHI: I do not hold back when I'm toasted.

KOCHIN: (starts clapping) Excellent. Exactly to be expected from the world's strongest fighter.

"What tournament did you see?" the heiress questioned.

MASTER ROSHI: Eh, I'm not one to brag. *sniffs*

KOCHIN: Dr. Wheelo will be humbled to have you as his honored guest. Whether you like it or not.

MASTER ROSHI: (referring to the Biomen he has defeated) Are the bodies not a clear indicator of how this is gonna go down?

KOCHIN: Well, you see, strength is only relative when a little leverage is applied. (points to the front porch to reveal two Saiba--I mean Biomen holding Bulma by both arms, who starts panicking) Now, comply, lest I have my Saiba--

BIOMAN: We are BIOMEN!

KOCHIN: Yes, whatever! Nobody cares! My creations rip her limb from limb.

MASTER ROSHI: Damn it. And those are some fine-ass limbs, too. All right, I'll go. Turtle, you're in charge!

TURTLE: All right, but if the buyer shows up, I'm taking ten percent.

MASTER ROSHI: Triflin'-ass turtle.

(cut to Oolong at Goku's house speaking to Goku who bathing in a barrel)

OOLONG: Old man Roshi might have been kidnapped.

GOKU: Oh, don't sweat it. Roshi can handle that.

OOLONG: Yeah... They might have also been strong enough to take Piccolo, too. Uh, they said they were looking for the world's strongest fighter.

GOKU: But I'm... Why didn't they...? "Jealousy? He can FEEL that?" Yang sarcastically gasped, (cut to him fully dressed on the Flying Nimbus speaking to Chi-Chi and Gohan) There's been a terrible mistake, I gotta fix this! (takes off)

"Like your marriage." Yang shot out.

(cut to inside a laboratory with Master Roshi being shown on a monitor)

KOCHIN: There he is... Your new body!

DR. WHEELO: Why is he old?

KOCHIN: He's the world's strongest man!

DR. WHEELO: And the world's oldest. (monitor shows Bulma sitting on a chair alongside Master Roshi) Again, Kochin, why not just give me the woman?

KOCHIN: I told you, you can't have a WOMAN'S body! They're not nearly strong enough!

"Sad thing is, he's right." Nora admitted.

DR. WHEELO: Sexism aside... I'm really not that picky.

KOCHIN: Also, she doesn't have a penis.

DR. WHEELO: ...So you want to give me the old man?

"The old pervert, yes." the four-time champion simplfied.

KOCHIN: Yes.

DR. WHEELO: With the old man's penis?

"... and sicknesses." the red head continues.

KOCHIN: Listen, you just need a demonstration.

DR. WHEELO: Oh, please no.

(shift over to Bulma, who screams as she gets pulled down into the darkness)

MASTER ROSHI: Oh, come on! This ain't your first kidnappin'!

(the lights come on)

KOCHIN: Feast your eyes on our Bio-Warriors!

DR. WHEELO: Kochin... (monitor changes to show the Bio-Warriors as innocent creatures) What did you do to my creations?! Zap-Zap, Blub-Blub, Burr?!

KOCHIN: I made a few alterations this morning. Introducing Electrocutioner! Bouncy Butcher! And Freezer!

"Say what now?" Ruby noticed and everyone else slowly catching on.

FREEZER: Bah!

KOCHIN: Fighting someone on the trademark for that last name, though.

DR. WHEELO: They're terrifying!

KOCHIN: Terrifyingly effective!

DR. WHEELO: They were supposed to be cute and cuddly and aid the elderly!

KOCHIN: Now they're cruel and vicious and fight the elderly! Speaking of which, commence the demonstration!

MASTER ROSHI: Oh man, and I'm comin' down... (begins to fight the Bio-Warriors)

BULMA: Beat their asses!

DR. WHEELO: Woah, where'd she come from? (shows Bulma with shackles on both her hands and feet) And why is she chained up?

MASTER ROSHI: Ka... Me.. Ha... Me... HAAA!

(Master Roshi fires the blast at Bouncy Butcher, who absorbs the blast and deflects it back at him. Master Roshi nearly dodges his own blast and gets punched by Freezer. Electrocutioner proceeds to shock Master Roshi with electric whips, who falls down to the ground, sizzling in defeat)

KOCHIN: Fiddlesticks. I could have sworn he was the strongest fighter in the world.

BULMA: Oh, right. The three hundred year-old man.

DR. WHEELO: Seriously, why is she chained up?

BULMA: Roshi's not even in the top five anymore. As in, I've got at least five friends, all stronger than he is!

"Not the time to brag, Bulma." Blake complained.

KOCHIN: Is that so?

DR. WHEELO: Oh, do not indulge him.

BULMA: Okay, who else keeps talking?

(Dr. Wheelo reveals himself, who is a brain embedded in a wall)

DR. WHEELO: Hello.

BULMA: Um... Hi?

DR. WHEELO: My name is Dr. Wheelo. Good to meet you.

"Finally, we got a name." Weiss groaned in antisapation. (A/N: I know their names are reveiled but the cast don't know that.)

BULMA: Wait, Dr. Jonathan Wheelo? The famous biologist and cancer researcher? Your breakthroughs changed the entire landscape of the field!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Can I have your body?

"At least take her to dinner first." RWBY's brawler joked on.

BULMA: What? No!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, I'm so sorry, not sexually. I-I mean your actual, physical body. To put my brain in.

BULMA: Still NO!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, come on, it's been fifty years! I suddenly got sick one day--lung cancer, ironically--and that one decides to put me in stasis. (Kochin frowns and glares at Dr. Wheelo) Next thing I know, he's gone to get groceries for fifty years. Which is just my father all over again.

"Sounds like he and Gohan have a lot in common." Jaune noticed.

BULMA: Okay, well, I'm sorry and all, but there's no way I'd agree to that. Not that you'd fit, anyway.

DR. WHEELO: Whhyyyy?

KOCHIN: Oh, your gray matter seems to have absorbed a little bit of the embalming fluid that you're stored in!

DR. WHEELO: What?! How big am I?!

BULMA: I'd say...a golden retriever.

DR. WHEELO: But a golden retriever's brain is small!

BULMA: No, like, the size of a golden retriever.

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, what the hell, man?!

KOCHIN: Oh, calm down, sir...

DR. WHEELO: I can't fit in a body like THIS!

KOCHIN: Don't worry about it. Sometimes brain surgery is a little more 'art' than science.

DR. WHEELO: You're thinking of baking!

KOCHIN: I might be thinking of baking...

BULMA: Well, Pinky. You picked the wrong guy, anyway. You want Son Goku.

"Actually, you'd want his son, Son Gohan." Nora reginmened.

DR. WHEELO: Can I fit in him?

BULMA: To be fair, there's probably a vacancy. But you have to get him here first. And good luck kidnapping--

(a warning alarm goes off)

DR. WHEELO: What is that?

(Goku is shown on the screen)

GOKU: Hello. My name is Son Goku. Is anyone home?

KOCHIN: Oh, and the stars align.

GOKU: Someone made a mistake! If you're looking for the world's strongest fighter, I'm here!

KOCHIN: Yes, yes! Son Goku! Please, if you would, join us!

GOKU: A'ight! (jumps off the Flying Nimbus and lands near the front entrance) Sure hope it's warmer inside... (shifts to him running inside shivering his tits off) It's actually colder! How is it colder?! (enters a room filled with a bunch of giant, floating balls) Oh, cool! He's got a ball pit! (spikes emerges from all the floating balls) Oh, no, he's got a ball pit.. (jumps to avoid getting hit by an incoming ball)

DR. WHEELO: Kochin?

KOCHIN: Yes?

DR. WHEELO: WHAT?!

KOCHIN: Oh, the Death Spheres! Quite ingenious, no?

DR. WHEELO: No! Why do we have them?!

KOCHIN: Well, if the Red Ribbon Army hadn't suddenly up and disappeared, they'd have made us a mint. "You're clearly not in touch with current events, are you?" Jaune bluntly questioned, (Goku destroys all of the Death Spheres with multiple blasts) Annd there goes fifty billion Zeni.

DR. WHEELO: HOW MUCH?!

Even the hunters questioned about the price.

GOKU: That was easily the second-worst ball pit I've ever been in. (Bouncy Butcher comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face, who rebounds and tries to kick him, but gets enveloped in Bouncy Butcher's squishy body) Oh, no. Oh, God. Ew, ew, ew, it's moist. Why is it moist? (gets away) Okay, get it together. Just gotta go in there...and do it. Just like with Chi-Chi. (Bouncy Butcher starts inflating) Just like with Chi Chi... "The hell does that mean??" everyone thought, (charges at Bouncy Butcher again, pulling his torso with him as he goes higher) Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWW!! (uses Kaio-ken to rip a hole through Bouncy Butcher's torso and flies up to the next floor as Bouncy Butcher is shown deflating like a balloon)

"And R.I.P. Blub-Blub." the brawler stated.

KOCHIN: Good, good! He's already dispatched of one of the Bio-Warriors!

DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub... He was made for hugs...

KOCHIN: And combat!

DR. WHEELO: No...

GOKU: I swear, I'ma deck the heck out of the next guy I see!

FREEZER: (appears in front of Goku) Bah! (Goku decks him in the schnoz) AH! (muffled) OW! F**k! Shit!

GOKU: Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry!

FREEZER: What the f**k, man?!

GOKU: D-do you need some ice?

FREEZER: Oh, you think you're funny?! Zapps, get in here. I-I need a sec.

ELECTROCUTIONER: I'm the Electrocutioner now!

FREEZER: Then electrocutionate him! I don't give a f**k!

GOKU: Who's your buddy? (screams as he gets zapped by Electrocutioner and gets blasted backwards, hitting the stairs as he falls down)

DR. WHEELO: ...Wait, can they all talk?

KOCHIN: Of course they can! They're completely sentient.

(cut to Bouncy Butcher face-down on the ground, with a hole in his torso)

BOUNCY BUTCHER: I need a hug...

"Botamo inspiration?" Weiss suggests.

KOCHIN: With all their own wants and needs, and a crippling fear of death!

BOUNCY BUTCHER: So dark... And cold... (begins sobbing uncontrollably, forming a pool of tears as Bulma watches in stunned shock)

"Oh, man. Poor Blub-Blub. He was too good for this world." the lightning absorber narely on the verge of tears.

"Wow, that was dark." Blake said with worry on what she saw.

DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub, no...

KOCHIN: Now, Freezer! Preserve the goods! (Freezer fires an icy blast at Goku which begins to envelop him)

GOKU: Wait, Freezer? Why does that sound familiar...? (the ice is shown reaching his...family 'DragonBalls') OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE THE WORST PART OF GETTING INTO A POOL TIMES A THOUSAND!!!!!!!!

"At lease he's not in Atlas." the heiress mentions.

KOCHIN: Lay the finishing blow!

(a caped figure appears)

GOKU: Thank goodness! Piccolo's here-- (the caped figure is Gohan) Oh. Hey, son.

GOHAN: Hold tight, Dad! We've got you!

GOKU: We?

(Krillin appears and lands beside Gohan)

KRILLIN: And the Krill-dog's in the houuuuu-- (gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!!

GOHAN: (also gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!! (both he and Krillin get completely frozen solid by Freezer)

"Aaand we're putting you on ice!" Yang continues with more jokes.

GOKU: (lets out a deep sigh, eyes narrowed) Kaio-ken. (breaks free of the ice with Kaio-ken and punches Freezer hard in the face and then kicks Electrocutioner before breaking his back and finally lands on the ground while holding Electrocutioner and takes a deep breath)

"Was anyone expecting a 'Kaio-what' joke." the blonde leader wanting to know and everyone else said yes.

KOCHIN: Man, your new body is gonna be wicked! Completely destroyed the Bio-Warriors.

DR. WHEELO: I just thought of something. Kochin...why didn't you give me one of THEIR bodies?

KOCHIN: Uh, hmm... I guess you're right. See, this is why you're the brains! (snickers) ...What, too cheesy?

DR. WHEELO: More insensitive.

KOCHIN: Oh, grow some thicker skin.

(Wheelo groans in frustration)

BULMA: I thought it was clever.

"Do not incourage him." Ren groaned.

(cut to Goku, Gohan, and Krillin running through a dark hall)

GOKU: Hurry, guys! We're almost there!

GOHAN: So cold... Still wet!

KRILLIN: Frostbite... So much frostbite!

GOKU: Don't worry, Krillin! The cold never killed anyone!

KRILLIN: Hypothermia would beg to differ!

(back in the main lab, where everything's dark)

DR. WHEELO: Why did you turn out the lights?

KOCHIN: To give us an air of menace!

DR. WHEELO: Why do we need menace?

KOCHIN: Shh, shh! Here he comes!

(Goku, Gohan, and Krillin arrive)

GOKU: Wow... This place sure is menacing.

BULMA: Goku!

GOKU: Bulma! Don't worry, Bulma! I'll get you out of-- (gets shocked by a force field around Bulma and gets thrown backwards)

GOHAN: Daddy!

GOKU: Ugh.. I'm gonna have nerve damage after today! (Goku, Gohan, and Krillin are shown behind the monitor) Hey, why didn't you warn me?

BULMA: I didn't know it would happen! I haven't tried to break out!

GOKU: Well, why not?

BULMA: I'm chained here!

GOKU: Well, that's sexy.

"I think we've found Goku's kink." Yang smirked at what she said while everyone else looked at her in disguist, especially her little sister.

DR. WHEELO: You mean, sexist?

KOCHIN: Well, it's a little sexy.

GOHAN: *gasps* Oh, my goodness! Is that a brain? ...Why is it the size of a Greyhound?

DR. WHEELO: The BUS?!

KOCHIN: This is the magnificent Dr. Wheelo! And we'd like to welcome you to our evil lair!

DR. WHEELO: This is neither a lair, nor is it evil! This is a laboratory! For science!

KOCHIN: Yes...evil science!

DR. WHEELO: No! Neutral science, at worst!

GOKU: I don't care what kind of science you're cooking up! I'm here for two things: to rescue my friends, and correct a mistake! "And I am all out of mistakes." Jaune referenced, I am Son Goku! And I am the world's strongest!

KOCHIN: Okay, we believe you.

GOKU: Good. Then, if you don't mind, I'ma just grab my friends, and be on my wa-- (begins screaming as he's blasted a mysterious red beam)

GOHAN: Pride cometh before the fall, eh Dad?

"Sounds like the story of Vegeta's life." Nora mentions.

KRILLIN: Come on, Gohan! It's two against-- (Piccolo appears in front of him) Huh! Three! Three against one! Ha-ha!

"Piccolo been to Kame House, eh." the Mistral champion attmepting to using a joke.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

DR. WHEELO: Wait, how long have we had him?

KOCHIN: About a week?

DR. WHEELO: Just give me his body!

KOCHIN: Can't. No penis.

DR. WHEELO: Why do you KNOW that?! (Kochin smiles)

"Oh, Kochin. You're incorrigible!" the hammer-wielder sarcastically giggled.

GOKU: Yo, I broke out of the thingy. Oh, hey, Piccolo! Wow, your eyes are red... You been hanging around Master Roshi?

GOHAN: (runs up to Piccolo) Mr. Piccolo! (Piccolo punches him in the face)

"He really needs to learn how to dodge, doesn't he?" Pyrrha comments.

"Need I remind you he's five years old at least." Jaune counters.

GOKU: Don't you dare hit my son! ...Unless you're training right now. In which case, Gohan, get back up.

"Father of the year right here." Blake groaned.

GOHAN: Dad, I think Dr. Wheelo's controlling him!

DR. WHEELO: But I am a brain in a jar!

GOKU: So you admit it!

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please explain...

KOCHIN: KILL THEM ALL!

DR. WHEELO: WHY?!

(Piccolo comes at them, causing Krillin to immediately screams and dive out of the way. Piccolo screams for a bit and then proceeds to engage Goku in battle.)

"Just like old times, eh?" Nora comments, thinking like she knows them.

GOHAN: Stop this! You are men of science! How could you commit such atrocities?!

KOCHIN: Excuse you, mustard gas would like a word...

GOHAN: Uh, excuse YOU, solar energy has something to say!

KOCHIN: Excuse YOU, anthrax has an opinion on that!

GOHAN:Excuse YOU, penicillin would like to chime in!

KOCHIN: ...The atom bomb.

(Gohan screams and lets out a shockwave that destroys part of the laoratory)

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, stop antagonizing him!

KOCHIN: You're right. He's incredibly strong! In fact...

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, he is a child!

KOCHIN: With a penis!

"Jesus Oum." Weiss groaned at Kochin's mentioning.

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please!

KOCHIN: You're right... I should CHECK! "REALLY!?" the white haired girl continues to groan, (fires a blast from his cane at Gohan, who deflects by screaming out another shockwave that cretes a crater around him, which causes him to slip and fall on his back) Insolent boy... He's in for such a caning... (reaches for his cane, but Krillin kicks it away)

KRILLIN: Not so tough without your cane, huh old man? (Kochin smiles and holds out his hand) Um... (the hand transforms into a gatling gun) Ah! (Kochin opens fire...with the bullets harmlessly bouncing off Krillin) Whatever happened to Launch?

"Say who now?" Everyone wondering who 'Launch' is.

(Master Roshi appears and takes out Kochin)

MASTER ROSHI: And that's for ruinin' my Sunday.

(the mind controlling device on Piccolo's head shatters, turning him back to normal)

PICCOLO: Huh?

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: DODGE! (punches Gohan in the face)

GOHAN: (thinking; sighs) Back to normal.

DR. WHEELO: Fifty years I was alone... And when I'm finally saved from that loneliness, all I find is horror. In this form, I am powerless; doomed to witness these atrocities. "How do you see?" Ren wonders, I need a body...I WILL have a body! (breaks free from the wall with Bulma screaming in fear as his brain is revealed to be inside a mechanical body) HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS?!

KOCHIN: Wait, you seriously never noticed the exo-body I left for you? Did you think I'd literally just leave you in a jar? What kind of monster do you think I am? "Ya done goofed, Kochin." Nora bluntly mentioned, (Dr. Wheelo stomps the floor, sending Kochin falling down into the abyss) Fair enoooooooough!

GOKU: See? Now you got a body.

DR. WHEELO: This is not a body! This can't taste, or smell, or touch! I am a brain trapped in an exoskeleton!

PICCOLO: Well, when you think about it, aren't we all just-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)

"Mind-in-exoskeleton blown!" the blonde brawler commented.

"Reaaly?" Weiss dissappointed in her teammates chose of words.

DR. WHEELO: NO!

MASTER ROSHI: A Kame and a Hame and a Send-him-home-to-mommy!

GOKU, MASTER ROSHI, and KRILLIN: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA!

(all three of them fire a combined Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, which fails to scathe him)

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin, you better not have held back! (gets hit by Dr. Wheelo)

KRILLIN: Oh, come on! We both know it was Goku! (also gets hit by Dr. Wheelo) WAH!

GOKU: Yeah, it might have been me.

"Dammit Goku!" the crimsonette groaned.

BULMA: (head pops out from the table beside Krillin) Can you take me home?

GOKU: All right, everyone. Stand back. I'ma Kaio-kening. (Gohan attempts to attack with the Power Pole and gets whacked by Dr. Wheelo's tail) That means you too, Gohan.

GOHAN: (as he hits the ground off-screen) Ow...

GOKU: Kaio-ken times three! (transforms and starts charging toward Dr. Wheelo)

DR. WHEELO: Kaio-what? (Goku attacks and removes his right arm) Aah!

"Aaand there it is." the blonde leader laughed, as did everyone else.

GOKU: Ka... Me... Ha... Me.. HA! (fires a Kaio-Ken powered Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, who counters by firing a mouth blast, resulting in a beam struggle with Dr. Wheelo having an advantage) (thinking) Kaio-ken...times three... (out loud) AND A HALF! (Kamehameha wave complete engulfs Dr. Wheelo)

DR. WHEELO: AA-- (cut to an outside shot of the laboratory, with the roof blowing off) --AAAAAH! (the laboratory is shown to be completely destroyed)

GOKU: (starts catching his breath) And point...proven!

KRILLIN: Wow, that was...quicker than expected.

GOKU: Naw, he's alive up there. Plotting like the evil scientist he is.

(cut to Dr. Wheelo in outer space)

DR. WHEELO: Look at this planet. So beautiful. I'll never see it with my own eyes again... (begins sobbing in complete sadness)

"Does anyone feel bad for him?" Yang questions and they agree with her.

(cut back to the destroyed lab)

GOKU: Someone needs to kill him. And by someone...I mean the Earth! (raises both arms up)

GOHAN: Wait, this doesn't seem right...

KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Goku!

GOHAN: I'll be right back. (flies off)

KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Gohan!

(back in outer space, Dr. Wheelo continues crying when Gohan appears)

GOHAN: Hey, Dr. Wheelo, I... Wait, are you crying?

DR. WHEELO: I physically can't, but I'm just so sad...

"Now I feel even more bad for him." the scythe-wielder comments.

GOHAN: You're...not really evil at all, are you?

"Gee, what made you realise that!?" Weiss aggressively, yet sarcastically, yelled.

DR. WHEELO: No... I just want a body. Fifty years alone and trapped... (continues crying)

GOHAN: Can you wait one more?

KRILLIN: It's KRILLER TI-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)

"It's never gonna be a thing."  the lightning absorber said.

DR. WHEELO: I mean, I guess...

GOKU: (from down on Earth) All right! Ready to kill him!

GOHAN: Dad, no, we worked it out! He's not evil!

GOKU: Oh. (is seen holding the Spirit Bomb) Well, I can't just turn this off. Maybe if I just set it down... (an exploding sound is heard and then shows Goku lying among the falling rubble) Good work, team...

(one year later, everyone has gathered around at Capsule Corp. and Shenron is summoned from the seven DragonBalls)

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees the Z-Fighters and sighs) Okay, who died?

GOHAN: Actually, nobody. In fact, we want you to create a whole new body.

SHENRON: ...I'm listening.

GOHAN: We want you to make a human body, and put that brain inside of it.

SHENRON: Huh. Well, at least it's better than that last wish. Who summons the Eternal Dragon to melt some ice?

DR. WHEELO: Hmm...

SHENRON: Your wish is granted.

(eyes glows red and gives Dr. Wheelo a human body)

DR. WHEELO: Thank you, everyone. (shows everyone (minus Goku) giving a horrified look as it shows the crown of is head being humongous in order to fit his already large brain, which is making loud hartbeat sounds)Now I can live a normal life again.

"Good luck trying to be normal with your brain the size of your own body." Jaune said with shock across his face, like everyone elses.

("Kochin and the Brain", a parody of the Pinky & The Brain theme song by Team Four Star, plays as the ending credits roll)

♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Each is a genius♪
♪But one is insane♪
♪Their lair is girt by ice♪
♪Their ambitions, not nice♪
♪They're Kochin♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain♪

♪They're making plans to steal♪
♪The world's strongest guy♪
♪By the ending of this spiel♪
♪One of them may just die♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Their science seems arcane♪
♪And their practice inhumane♪
♪Attain new body lies♪
♪In Son Goku's demise♪
♪They're Kochin♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Narf♪

(the peak of the iceberg reveals Pinky and The Brain, with The Brain inside the same exoskeleton Dr. Wheelo was in frm the movie)

"That was a..." Ruby said worry and confusion on her face, "enjoyable? Is that the right word for this?"

"More buzzar than anything else" Weiss corrected.

"So, what's the next movie called?" Pyrrha wanting to know.

"Uh, oh the 'Christmas Tree of Might', it's a Christmas special!" the crimsonette cheered on with excitement.

"But it's nowhere near December." Ren mentioned only to be ignored.

"I don't care, I'm sure that they'll have a christmas special later on down the line." Ruby comments as she prepares the next movie.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Gohan, Krillin, Bulma and Oolong camping in the woods)

NARRATOR: 'Twas the week before Christmas, and upon the Earth, Krillin and Gohan were searching for a tree of great worth. They longed for a tree both tall and rare, and for some other reason, Oolong was there. And with eyes full of wonder and faces all grins, this, my dear viewers, is where our story begins.

KRILLIN: Alright guys, sleep well. We have an early morning tomorrow to search for our perfect Christmas tree!

"Why were they camping?" Weiss asked with uter confusion.

"Maybe to have a different christmas tradition." Ruby suggested.

BULMA: Hey, did anyone take care of that fire?

KRILLIN: Oolong, you got that?

OOLONG: I’m watching it.

(shows the forest being burned down as the animals flee the area)

KRILLIN: I thought you said you were watching the fire!

"Our Heroes." Blake sarcastically stated.

OOLONG: I was! It was beautiful.

"Please just make pork chops ou of him." Jaune groaned in desperation.

GOHAN: Poor animals, their Christmas is ruined now...

KRILLIN: Yeah, and now we don’t have our tree.

"Wow Krillin," Ren said in some shock, "way to priorities."

GOHAN: I wish there was something we could do for them.

KRILLIN: (a ding sound is heard) Wish? I got it! We could use the DragonBalls!

(shows a quick montage of Gohan and Krillin collecting all seven DragonBalls)

KRILLIN: We got the DragonBalls!

GOHAN: Amazing how much easier this became with time.

(Shenron gets summoned

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees Krillin, Bulma, and Oolong) No... No way. No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!

OOLONG: It's been one year, two months, and fifteen...

SHENRON: SHUT THE HELL UP!

KRILLIN: Almighty Shenron, we called you forth to help us in this dire time! As you can see, this beautiful land full of trees and life has been burned to the ground.

SHENRON: So you want me to restore life to this desolated forest?

KRILLIN: Hell no! I want a Christmas tree!

SHENRON: ...You want...a tree.

KRILLIN: Not just any tree... The PERFECT Christmas tree!

SHENRON: ...Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll give your tree. I'll give you THE BEST DAMN TREE YOU'VE EVER SEEN! (starts laughing sinisterly as he grants Krillin's wish)

"I can see Shenron being a villain in any future movie or season." Pyrrha stating her honest opinion.

"I mean, given the sercomstances." the Heiress adding to the Mistral champions quota.

KRILLIN: Thank you!

SHENRON: Oh, don't thank me. 'Tis the season of giving. (vanishes as the DragonBalls scatter away)

(cut to a spaceship approaching Earth)

SLAY: Turles, sir, our navigation system just changed course. We're on route to a new planet, Earth.

TURLES: Does it contain a sufficient amount of joy?

SLAY: According to our sensors, yes.

TURLES: Well then... Merry Christmas.

"Please tell me that he did not look like Goku." JNPR's leader wondering and his teammates agreed with him, even Weiss. 

("Christmas Tree of Might" appears on the screen as "Jingle Bell Rock" plays before switching to "Rock The Dragon")

(cut to Goku's house)

CHI-CHI: You are not allowed to go camping again, young man.

GOKU: (in background) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

GOHAN: But Mom, Oolong's the one who burned down the forest, not me!

"Just say you are in anexpedition" Yang voice her suggestion.

CHI-CHI: I don't care whose fault it is, you need to be responsible. "Was that for Gohan or Goku?" Pyrrha questions, Remember, if you don't act like a good little boy, Santa won't bring you any presents this year. "Please, he IS the nice one in the family." Ruby said, Goku, stop that or I will deck you in the halls!

GOKU: Okay!

GOHAN: He's just gonna bring me books again...

CHI-CHI: He brings you what you like, and what do you like!?

GOHAN: I like books!

CHI-CHI: See, he brings you what you like.

"No, what he wants is you dead." the hammer-wielder voicing Gohan's inthoughts while everyone looked at her with concern.

GOKU: Well, what am I getting for Christmas?

"If it's what you like, probably food." the brawler commented.

CHI-CHI: The same thing as last year, Goku.

GOKU: Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth--?

CHI-CHI: Not in front of Gohan!

"What was he talking about Yang?" the scythe-wielder questioned her big sister.

"I'll tell you when your older."

(cut to Yamcha and Puar flying inside a car)

PUAR: Yamcha, why did you spend all your baseball money on this car instead of buying Christmas gifts for your friends?

"Cause he wants to believe that he's worth something." Weiss bluntly said with little care.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Yamcha has an actual career in baseball." Jaune voiced while Pyyrha and Ruby actual put some thought onto the matter.

YAMCHA: Puar, the only gift they need is the gift of Yamcha.

PUAR: ...That's a non-refundable gift, isn't it?

"Wow, you're own cat doesn't like you." Blake giggled.

YAMCHA: Just like this car.

(there's an explosion from inside the forests that sends the car flying, causing Yamcha and Puar to scream before the car explodes)

SLAY: It is time. Plant the tree. (short pause) Of might. (another short pause) The Christmas Tree of Might.

(Diaz throws the seed into an abyss)

JINGA & BERU: Oh...

JINGA: Title drop.

SLAY: Now....let the Yuletide celebrations begin.

("Deck the Halls Metal Style!" plays as the Christmas Tree of Might starts growing and destroying the city)

BOY: Mommy? (gets crushed by a car, in which a man is seen getting out and runs off)

"JESUS OUM!!!" everyone yelled as they witnessed another murder.

"Why do the movies have to be so dark like that?" Ruby gagged as she wanted to tear up from the murder.

(cut to Goku's House)

YAMCHA: So yeah, um, I'm gonna have to crash with you guys for a while.

GOKU: Ha, ha! "Crash" like your car.

YAMCHA: Yes, Goku... Like my car.

MASTER ROSHI: I can't believe the wreckage landed on your house.

YAMCHA: Neither can I. And since I put all my money into the car, I'm pretty much destituted.

GOHAN: You know, studies say that depression hits worst during the holiday season. That's why the suicide rates are so high.

YAMCHA: ...

"Ain't karma a bitch?" Nora gesjered.

"Nora, watch your language." Ren scouled.

(everyone except Yamcha and Bulma start laughing)

GOKU: Like your car.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Hey, are we laughing at Yamcha, cause I'm always up for that.

GOKU: King Kai, is that you?

KING KAI: (telepathically) I just want to call you up and wish you a Merry Christmas.

GOKU: (telepathically to King Kai on his planet) Aw shucks, King Kai. You too.

KING KAI: Yeah, also thought I'd tell you about the evil space pirates who are killing your planet.

"Bojack here?" Yang quickly wondered.

GOKU: Space in the what now?

KING KAI: You see, a group of space pirates have sought out your planet. And with it, are growing an evil, evil tree.

GOKU: How evil?

KING KAI: It's literally sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire planet.

GOKU: *gasp* That's Disney evil!

KING KAI: (telepathically) Well, that’s all from here. I'm gonna go spike the eggnog and watch Gregory get smashed. Merry Christmas!

GOKU: Alright guys, group meeting. So, it turns out someone just planted a gigantic tree...

KRILLIN: Hurray! My tree!

GOKU: ...that is sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire world!

KRILLIN: I mean, oh, no! Who would be so dastardly?

"Yes~, who would do such a thing?" Weiss rhorically questioned.

GOKU: So, my plan is we get the DragonBalls and wish it away!

"That... is a surprisingly good idea from Goku..." Pyrrha commented on how thought out this is.

KRILLIN: Uuuummmm...

GOKU: I'm kiddin'. We're gonna go blow it up!

"...Nevermind." the champion retracked.

(cut to Goku, Krillin, Yamcha, Tenshinhan, and Chiaotzu blasting the tree, which has no effect)

GOKU: Didn't work.

"Of course." the cat Faunus said.

TIEN: Damn. If we don't act soon, Christmas is going to be ruined forever.

KRILLIN: Wait a minute. Tien, Chiaotzu, what are you two doing here? Aren't you Jewish?

TIEN: (now wearing a yarmulke as Jewish music plays) Hey, I'm just trying to be culturally sensitive...you Buddhist ass!

KRILLIN: Well, happy holidays to you too.

GOKU: I think the only course of action left...is to reason with it.

"...he's getting worse, guys." Ruby noticed.

YAMCHA: Uh, Goku?

GOKU: Big tree! If you don’t leave right now, I'm gonna have to beat you up!

YAMCHA: Goku, trees can't tal--

SLAY: (off-screen) Why don't you come up here and try it?

YAMCHA: Know what? F**k it, I don't care anymore.

"Wouldn't blame him." the blonde leader comments.

(everyone flies up on the tree and confronts the villains responsible, who are chuckling evilly)

KRILLIN: Who the hell are these guys?

SLAY: We are from the planet of Misfit Minions.

REESE: Where all banished servants of Santa Claus are sent.

BERU: We were all lost, hope forsaken.

JINGA: But now Turles has given us a new chance at life.

JINGA & BERU: And at revenge!

KRILLIN: But why were you banished in the first place?

SLAY: Some of us did things...terrible things.

"Can't be worse than Vegeta." Yang scuffed.

REESE: Things that some of us regret, and some of us don't.

SLAY: Take me for example. I was but a humble mall Santa trying to bring children joy.

TIEN: So what happened?

SLAY: Well, a young child asked me for a fire truck.

GOKU: Awww!

SLAY: So I dropped one on his house.

GOKU: Awww.

JINGA: Then there was my brother and I.

BERU: We were once elves working at Santa's workshop.

"THAT'S what elves look like?" the crimsonette questioned with shock.

JINGA: Until a robot we made to aid production went out on a murderous rampage.

S.N.O.W.: Fa la la la la, la la, la DIE.

KRILLIN: Yikes. (to Reese) Wait a minute, that doesn't cover you. What'd you do?

REESE: Something so evil, I am forever on Santa’s naughty list.

YAMCHA: Geez, compared to these guys, what could you have possibly--

REESE: I raped Rudolph. (sounds of Reese laughing along with a reindeer's pained cries are heard)

"Mother of the Brothers, that's dark as hell." Nora stated as everyone agreed with her.

"Oh poor Rudolph." Ruby sounding sympathetic.

TIEN: Dibs on not fighting that guy.

"Good call." Jaune mentioned.

GOKU: We have to save Christmas, guys! Let's go!

(everyone except Goku charges at the Misfit Minions with Jinga and Beru knocking Tien and Chiaotzu out of the air)

JINGA: Jinga!

BERU: Beru!

JINGA & BERU: The great Jinga Beru Brothers!

TIEN: You mean Jingle Bell, right?

JINGA: No, Jinga...

BERU: ...and Beru!

TIEN: (slightly annoyed) Noooo... Jingle... Bell.

JINGA: Jinga!

BERU: Beru!

TIEN: (pissed) F**KING WEEABOOS!!! (uses Solar Flare to blind Jinga and Beru)

"Why was that upstting you?" Ren question Tien's thinking methods.

(cut to Krillin and Slay)

SLAY: You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was the cancer patient; asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.

KRILLIN: Oh god, this is going exactly where I think this is, isn't it?

SLAY: So I blew him up! No more cancer!

KRILLIN: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever! Right behind those ones that molest kids.

SLAY: ...So I'm the worst mall Santa.

KRILLIN: Oh, come on!

(cut to Yamcha using his Spirit Ball technique)

S.N.O.W.: Singing "Yamcha the Scar-Faced Bandit" (said song starts playing)

YAMCHA: Go to hell! (throws Spirit Ball at S.N.O.W., which misses) Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You. (now having trouble redirecting the Spirit Ball)

S.N.O.W.: Do you require assistance?

YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You. Cowardly. God. (Spirit Ball finally hits) YES!!! Take that, motherfu-- "Wait did Yamcha just win a proper bat-" Yang almost sounding impressed but instantly disappeared, (S.N.O.W. charges at him and rams him to the ground)

♪And if you saw this guy fight♪
♪You would even say he blows♪

S.N.O.W.: Agreed.

Some of the hunters laughed at S.N.O.W.'s agreement with his own song.

(cut to Chiaotzu flying away from Jinga)

JINGA: I'll make you pay, like the rest of them! (fires a blast at Chiaotzu)

CHIAOTZU: Aaaah! I told you, I'm not an elf, I'm just really short!

"I thought he was a Pokemon?" Jaune questioned with a reference from the first season.

JINGA: Shut up, Claus lover! (fires a barrage of blast)

CHIAOTZU: I don’t even celebrate Christmas-- Oh, my God! (gets hit)

(shows Gohan charging at Jinga)

JINGA: What the fuuuuuuuuu... (gets headbutted by Gohan)

"The power of the headbutt." the blonde bombshell joked on.

GOHAN: Did I just smash the Krampus? Oh well, where are the others? If I don't find them soon, it's gonna be too late to go caroling! (bumps into Turles) Hey Dad, what's with the getup? It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!

TURLES: Christmas? I HATE Christmas!

"And I already hate him with all of fibber of my being." the crimsonette angerly mentions.

GOHAN: You're not my dad! (Turles grabs him by the scarf)

TURLES: I hate gingerbread houses. I hate presents and toys. I hate reindeer and all of the good girls and boys. I hate the Whos down in Whoville and all of their songs. I hate their whumpets and blumpets and goobag-for-brawns. I hate carols and sleigh rides and falalalalas. But above all things else...I hate Santa Claus!

"BEAT HIS ASS GOHAN!" Ruby shouted like a madwoman.

GOHAN: Don't talk sh*t about Santa! (Turles blocks his punch)

TURLES: You're Saiyan, aren’t you? How lucky you were...to never suffer my injustice! (starts crushing Gohan's fist, causing him to scream) However, after my tree is done with this planet, you'll be left with Noël to speak of! "ITS A PUN!" Yang cheered, (chuckles until his scouter beeps) What? Who's there? (Piccolo arrives)

PICCOLO: Bitch, you look like Goku.

"Gohan's dad to the rescue! Wait..." Nora realising what she said.

TURLES: And you look like a Yoshi.

PICCOLO: I get that. Now hand over the kid.

TURLES: Oh, you want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him.

TURLES: You want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him.

TURLES: You want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him!

TURLES: You want, you want?

PICCOLO: I WANT THAT KID!!! (charges at Turles, who tosses Gohan at him)

GOHAN: Hi, Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: Merry Christmas. (gets blasted by Turles)

"What exactly do the Namekians celebrate?" Weiss asked curosuly.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo... (gets pinned to the ground by Turles' foot)

TURLES: Yeah, you're gonna stay right there. Now how 'bout I show you a little trick I learned? If I put pressure down on this part of your back... (puts more force on Gohan's back, causing him to sprout his tail) ...your tail grows back!

GOHAN: And...?

TURLES: Look! (throws a fake moon in the sky and kicks Gohan before grabbing him by the eyes, forcing him to look at the fake moon) It's the Star of Bethlehem. You know what means?

GOHAN: Jesus is born?

TURLES: Yeah, only instead of Jesus...it's a giant monkey.

GOHAN: I don't see the para-- (transforms into an Oozaru)

GOKU: Gohan! (dodges an attack by Oozaru Gohan) Aw man... If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.

"Now this is a man with his priorities straight... I think." Jaune thought to himself.

"Hah, he really wants to get blown." Yang using her puns again.

TURLES: Now, what will you do? Son against father; father against son! In a battle to the death! (Goku cuts off Oozaru Gohan's tail, returning him back to normal and catches him) ...Well played.

"Pity the friggin' toupee stand ain't there to take lessons on Kienzan use..." the heiress mentions.

"Also, Goku stealing techniques again." the cat Faunus comments.

(cut to Goku inside a cave holding Gohan)

GOKU: It's okay, Gohan. You're safe. Now go to sleep, and in the morning, Santa will have brought all of your presents. And by presents, I mean books.

GOHAN: D-dang it. (passes out)

TURLES: Savor this moment, Kakarrot. It will be the last one you ever have with your son!

GOKU: Guh! He knows my Saiyan name... So you... must be Vegeta!

"How does that make sense?" Pyrrha questions with confusion.

TURLES: Wait, you think I'm--

GOKU: Silly Vegeta, it's not Halloween; it's Christmas! Take that costume off!

"Oh so there's another celebration similar to ours." Ren notices.

TURLES: I'm not Vegeta. I'm just another Saiyan who escaped the destruction of our planet.

GOKU: Ohhhhh. (thinking) Man, that means he's like...an evil me! Only he doesn't have a goatee. I'm gonna imagine one! (a goatee appears on Turles' face) So evil!

The hunters chuckled at Goku's wild imagination.

(Turles groans in annoyance and then cuts to him and Goku now outside on the Christmas Tree of Might)

GOKU: Now it's just down to you and me.

TURLES: Yes, me and you. Oh, and my five Misfit Minions.

GOKU: But...what about my friends?

SLAY: We all had eggnog and Christmas fudge.

GOKU: Really?

REESE: Nope! Wasted them like figgy pudding.

GOKU: YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!!! (attacks the Misfit Minion, knocking all of them out)

"I've never had figgy pudding." Nora responded.

"Honestly, your not missing out." Blake bluntly stated.

S.N.O.W.: (as he gets hit) DROID.

GOKU: ...Did I just smash the Krampus?

"Like Son, like son, eh?" the brawler using her puns again and everyone responded with a groan.

TURLES: This has gone on long enough! You don't even understand why I'm here, do you?

GOKU: All I heard was, "Look at me! I hate Christmas, because I'm a big jerk!"

TURLES: And who wouldn't be a big jerk after the injustices I suffered? On planet Vegeta, we heard about all the other planets that Santa would visit. We heard of the joy he brought children! Of the presents! Of the merriment! THAT I WAS DENIED! Planet Vegeta never got Christmas. No, all we got was Freeza Day!

GOKU: Well, what'd you get for Freeza Day?

TURLES: He blew our planet up!

GOKU: Well, that's sad... But I still can't let you steal the joy from Earth!

(a ding sound is heard from inside Tree of Might)

TURLES: Hold that thought; Tree's done. (takes a fruit from the Tree of Might)

GOKU: ...What?

"Yeah, what?" Weiss questioned along with Goku.

TURLES: See, this fruit holds all the joy from Earth. When I eat it, I will gain Earth's joy!

GOKU: Why are you so evil?!

TURLES: Deal with it.

NARRATOR: Turles ate of the fruit, and so they say, his power level grew three sizes that day.

(Turles takes a bite from the fruit and bulks up, crushing what's left of the fruit)

GOKU: (thinking) That's not good...! (gets pummeled by Turles, which ends with Turles stomping on his head)

TURLES: Now, denounce your faith!

GOKU: N-no!

TURLES: Denounce your faith in Santa Claus!

GOKU: Never!

"Never give up on Christmas!" the crimsonette shouted.

"It's not even December." JNPR's leader mentions.

TURLES: Well then... Bah Humbug. (fires multiple blasts at Goku, who screams in pain)

TURLES: Well, now that that's over, time to plan a bitchin' New Year's party! (starts flying away)

GOKU: (thinking) N-no... Christmas can't be ruined...! Must...summon up...energy!

???: Goku, it is I, the anointed saint. The spreader of love and peace.

"Are they for real right now?" the white haired member asked with disbelief.

GOKU: Oh, wow, it's...

SANTA: Yes, it is I, Santa. (Goku gets up and gasps) You must defeat him, Goku; you are the one who can.

GOKU: (thinking) But he's got all of Earth's joy. He's too powerful.

SANTA: No, Goku. The joy is within your heart.

"This is starting to get cheesy, even for me." Yang honestly mentions.

GOKU: *gasps* You're right! (raises both hands in the sky)

SANTA: Now kick his ass to the North Pole and back!

GOKU: Yes, Santa!

TURLES: (while calculating Goku's power level with his scouter) What the hell? What is this sudden burst of joy?

GOKU: This is Christmas, melon farmer! (hurls the Spirit Bomb at Turles, who gets engulfed in the blast)

TURLES: (thinking) No...so...much....joy! (yells as he dies along with the tree getting destroyed, which showers the Earth with yellow snow)

MAN: Look! It's snowing!

WOMAN: But...it's yellow.

"That's probably cause Turles pissed himself..." the hammer-wielder jokes on.

"Nora, that's disgusting!" JNPR's ninja backfired.

("Let it Snow" starts playing as the animals in the forest start to get back up on their feet)

GOKU: (thinking) It's too bad that Turles was such a Scrooge. We would have happily shared our Christmas with him.

SANTA: You know... The sad part is, I always tried to visit Planet Vegeta. Problem was, they kept trying to shoot down my sleigh.

"More like 'dicks'." A majority of the hunters thought.

GOKU: (thinking) Bummer.

SANTA: Now, I'm off to deliver my presents. But thank you...for saving Christmas!

GOKU: Anytime, Santa! Bye!

SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Hoooo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hooo!

GOKU: (thinking) Wait a second... If that guy wasn't Vegeta, where is Vegeta?

(cut to Vegeta on Planet Namek)

VEGETA: This is so non-canon it hurts.

"You could've made your wish while were gone." Jaune suggested.

GHOST NAPPA: Vegeta... Tonight you will be haunted by three ghoooosts! (appears) And they're all me. (two more Ghost Nappas appear)

GHOST NAPPAS: Hi.

"LOL!" Nora cheered.

VEGETA: Goddamm it, I hate Christmas.

(ending credits roll with what the characters got for Christmas)

Goku got a "KenTacoHut" from Santa... "Huh, I wonder if he'll get a heart attack from that." Ruby wondered, And something else from Chi-Chi.

"Lewd." Nora voiced her opinion.

Chi-Chi got a GPS to keep track of Gohan... "I bet it never worked." Weiss commented, And some mouthwash.

Gohan got books. "Of course he did..." Jaune feeling sympathetic, He also got a flying Dragon. "...That's neat." But due to it being non-canon, he was not allowed to keep it. "Well... Shit."

Krillin got a new shaver. "Why?" Blake questions, He also got a girlfriend. But due to her being non-canon, he was not allowed to keep her.

Piccolo got a water purifier and a new turban. "Seems useful." Pyrrha said, Also, a bigger role in the next movie."AWESOME!" Nora shouted.

Yamaha got a year's worth of free gasoline.

"Wah wah wah waaaaaah." Yang attempted to sing

Tien Shinhan and Chiaotzu ate Chinese and watched a movie. "Makes sense." Ren stated, They saw Yogi Bear in 3D. "Poor Tien." Chiaotzu is no longer allowed to pick the movies.

Bulma got a new wardrobe. "I don't think she needs Santa for that." Blake mentions, Oolong got her old panties.

Shenron got... a restraining order.

"Too bad it only counts towards the movies." Jaune comments.

"Well it was interesting to say the least." Weiss commenting on her opinion of this instalment.

"I liked the idea of an 'evil Goku' for the movie's villain." Pyrrha mentions as Jaune agrees with her.

"The defeat of Turles was cheesy but what are ya gonna do." Yang brings up.

"That reminds me, Raditz name-dropped his name in the first episode." Blake reminds everyone as they slowly catch on.

"Well, the next, and so far final, movie is dubbed 'Lord Slug', that shall be interesting." Ruby notices as the fourth movie loads up.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Piccolo meditating near a waterfall)

PICCOLO: (thinking) All right, now. Hear me out. So I fire the Special Beam Cannon with one hand, right?

"And takes 5 minutes to charge it, appearantly." Pyrrha added.

"Wait, who is he talking to?" Weiss questions.

NAIL: (Yeah?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) What if I used...TWO HANDS?

"But wouldn't it take 10 minutes to charge?" the four-time champion asks.

"Seriously, who is he talking to?" the heiress slightly getting annoyed.

NAIL: (You mean like the Kamehameha?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) NO! NOT LIKE THE KAMEHAMEHA! The Kamehameha doesn't DRILL things!

"Good point." Ruby agrees.

NAIL: (Last time I checked, neither do cannons.)

"Good counter piont." Jaune states.

PICCOLO: (thinking) That's what makes it "special"!

"Good counter counter point." Nora interjects.

GOHAN: (arrives riding on Icarus) Hey, Mr. Piccolo! Look what I found! It's a dragon!

"Wait, I thought Santa gave him for Christmas from the previous movie." Blake wondered.

NAIL: (Who's that?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.

GOHAN: He's a Western-style dragon. I taught him how to dance! Show him, Icarus! (begins whistling)

NAIL: (So do you just ignore all of your problems?)

"Well Goku was a problem during his past at some point. He tried to kill him." Yang deducded.

PICCOLO: (thinking) No. Some of them I invite to live in my head.

NAIL: (Well, I'm sorry. It's just that there's so much space in here and I didn't think you'd--AAAAAHHH! Oh, my God! What the hell is that?!)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Ah! I don't know! It's like someone's torturing a frickin' cat!

(cut to Mr. Popo on The Lookout watering the "flowers" and humming)

"Of course." the ginger girl bluntly states.

MR. POPO: (ceases humming and looks up) What?

KAMI: Mr. Popo, are you torturing a cat?!

MR. POPO: Oh come on, Kami. I don't torture...cats.

Blake slowly curls herself into a ball for her own personal safety from the fictional black ginie.

(a long pause ensues as Kami and Mr. Popo stare at each other)

JYNX: (appears behind Mr. Popo's shoulder) Jynx! Jynx!

MR. POPO: Bitch, shut up!

(cut back to Piccolo and Gohan at the waterfall)

NAIL: (MAKE IT STOP!)

PICCOLO: GOHAN I WILL CARVE YOU LIKE A PUMPKIN!!! (Icarus flinches)

GOHAN: Ugh! I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo... (Piccolo does not respond and Icarus makes a noise)

PICCOLO: I'll kill it.

"Rude." Ruby interjects.

(Piccolo and Gohan gasps and looks up in the sky, which shows a dark object moving forward from space. Cut to inside Capsule Corporation with Dr. Briefs looking through a telescope)

DR. BRIEFS: Honey, good news! I've isolated the gay gene! Now we'll finally be able to make it through Manhattan at a decent time! I knew this combination telescope-microscope would come in handy. Also, there's a giant meteor coming towards the planet. Quick, get me Bruce Willis, Steve Buscemi and Aerosmith!

"Bruce Willis, is he like a close relative to Sprice Willis or something?" JNPR's leader questions since Sprice Willis is an actor in various action movies.

"Probably." Yang disgresies.

OOLONG: What about Ben Affleck?

DR. BRIEFS: What about bacon?

OOLONG: ...

(cut to Goku and Krillin floating in midair)

GOKU: So, if I blow this meteor up, I get bacon?

"Damn, they killed Oolong?" Nora gasps, "Good thing it's non-canon." she then realised.

KRILLIN: Why am I Mr. Pink?

Everyone in the room had questioning looks along their faces as to what Krillin was talking about, and they all came up short on answers.

(Goku and Krillin fire a combined Kamehameha wave at the meteor. Cut to Oolong, Bulma, Chi-Chi, Gohan, and Icarus watching on a hillside.)

CHI-CHI: Did it work?

"Dammit, they didn't kill him." the hammer-wielder groaned.

"But you said it was non-canon, so he's not really dead altogether." her partner quoting what she stated.

(the combined Kamehameha wave hits the meteor and dissipates)

"Somehow, that felt anticlimaxic." Pyrrha said with her mind expecting the sence having more of an impact.

OOLONG: Nnnnope.

GOKU: NOOO! MY BACOOOOOONNNN! (gets blown away by the meteor)

KRILLIN: I'M A VIRGIIIINNN! (also gets blown away by the meteor)

("DragonBall Z Abridged: Lord Slug" logo appears on the screen)

(cut to the meteor passing by the Earth and explodes, with its fragments raining down inside the Earth)

BULMA: (gets up and looks at the raining fragments in the sky) Well... Good news is, we're not dead.

OOLONG: And hey. The city's okay, too. Hell, there's even a new building. (shows a mysterious new building)

GOHAN: That's no building... That's a space station!

"Aaaaand they get sued by Disney." Nora whispers to herself.

"What was that Nora?" the scythe-wielder questions but the blubbling ginger denies saying anything.

(the building is revealed to be a gigantic space station with a crowd gathered around it)

VOICE 1: What the heck do you think's inside?

VOICE 2: I bet it's Jesus! I'm calling Jesus! You heard it here, folks--I said Jesus!

(a door opens and a soldier walks out of the space station)

VOICE 3: Hi, Jesus!

"How can someone with armour be a god to them." Weiss questions.

"Weiss, first off: it's an anime, anything can more or less happen without reason; and secondly: these people's IQ levels are probably lower than a new-born Grimm." said the crimsonette with reasoning that slightly shocked her partner from the inside out.

SOLDIER: Okay, guys, move out. This is easy pickings. (he along with a group of other soldiers walk down the stairs)

VOICE 2: Look, everyone! It's Jesus' death army! ...Something about what I just said doesn't sound right.

"You think?" Jaune sarcastically asks.

SOLDIER: Inhabitants of Earth! Prepare to be conquered in the name of Lord Slug!

VOICE 2: (as the crowd applause) We love you, Jesus!

SOLDIER: What the hell is going on? Heh, open fire.

(The line of soldiers open fires on the now screaming crowd. Cut Lord Slug inside his ship)

LORD SLUG: (makes a mumbling, crunching noise)

ZEEUN: Gyoshu! Why is the process of terra-freezing the planet taking so long?

GYOSHU: You can just say "terra-freezing process". "Terra-freezing the planet" sounds redundant.

ZEEUN: Well, why is it taking so long?

GYOSHU: Because apparently, someone needed a f**king English lesson.

ZEEUN: You listen here! King Piccolo is on borrowed time! (Lord Slug growls) We-- Uh, oh! (turns around) I-I... Uh... I am so sorry. That was a total slip-up on my part. Please forgive me, King Piccolo... I did it again. (Lord Slug fires a blast at his chest) UAAAARGGH! (falls on the floor)

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

GYOSHU: How long will it take? Well, King Piccolo. I believe it will take-- (Lord Slug growls) No, wait! I said it because he did! I said it because he did-- (gets blasted by Lord Slug) AAAH! (falls on the floor)

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

KAKUJA: Well, Lord Slug. It is my humble opinion, Lord Slug, that it will take three days, Lord Slug. Go Team Slug.

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

KAKUJA: Thank you, Lord Slug.

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

KAKUJA: Your Vicodin? In the bowl next to you.

"Oum, that's a lot of Vicodin." Ren said with shock in his tone with the amount of pills are in the bowl, "There's possibly enough kill any normal person, Human or Faunus."

LORD SLUG: (mumbles and munches down on a couple of pills)

KAKUJA: Oh, look at him go.

(cut to outside the space station with Gohan kicking a soldier in the face)

SOLDIER: Oh, God! All I see is glass and blood!

"I wonder why?" the cat Faunus sarcastically quetsions.

(Gohan jumps back and kicks one soldier away, punches another one in the face, and kicks an attacking soldier. Cut over to Chi-Chi running from behind Gohan and two ki blasts are fired at two nearby soldiers. Chi-Chi continues running through the smoke to leaps above Gohan and kick one to the two soldier in the face, with the scene freeze-framing as she lands behind both of them.)

JAPANESE NARRATOR: 主婦! 千月経周期の蹴り! (Housewife Style! Kick of a Thousand Menstrual Cycles!)

(both soldiers explode behind Chi-Chi)

CHI-CHI: You see, just because I'm a woman-- (a soldier appears and punches her in the stomach, knocking her out)

BULMA: That actually lasted longer than I expected.

GOHAN: Mom! (carries Chi-Chi away from two incoming ki blasts, with his hat flying off) (thinking) Ah, my hat! Oh well. It's a good thing none of these guys know what a DragonBall is.

LORD SLUG: (mumbles and takes the DragonBall off Gohan's hat) A Dragon Ball?

GOHAN: Crapbaskets.

OOLONG: (off-screen) Let me go, you crazy bitch!

("Superman Theme" starts playing)

BULMA: Stop right there! (shows her holding Oolong in front of her face) I am King Bacon! Leave now, or I will use my voodoo powers on you!

"You're suppose to be a genius Bulma, why would you thinks this is a good idea?" the blonde brawler questions with concern.

ANGIRA: You look like a twat.

Then Yang bursts into laughter as well as Ruby, Jaune and Nora.

BULMA: (drops Oolong) You're talking to the pig, right?

ANGIRA: I'm talking to you, yes.

"Damn..." the redhead warrior said with surprise in her voice.

BULMA: Oh, I am at least an eight!

LORD SLUG: (mumbles while looking at the DragonBall)

BULMA: What? You know what the DragonBalls are?

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

"How can she understand him?" the white-haired hunteress wonders.

BULMA: And you want to collect all seven? Well, tough luck, Jolly Green Jackass, because I'm the only one here with a radar to find them!

"Dammit Bulma." Jaune groan ing disappiontment.

(Gohan gives a horrified look at Bulma and Lord Slug gives a big, toothy grin)

GOHAN: (groans while holding his nose in annoyance) Oh, my God.

LORD SLUG: (mumbles and telekinetically pulls Bulma toward him)

BULMA: Oh, God! Get off me! Where's my Rape Mace?! No, no, nooo!!

"You had a rape mace?" Ruby questions with excitement because of the mentioning of a new weapon.

(Lord Slug grabs Bulma's head and knocks her out)

GOHAN: (runs towards Bulma) Bulma! (Angira and Medamatcha appear and knees him in the stomach. Medamatcha puts his hat back on his head) Thank you. (Medamatcha pushes him down to the ground)

"Well, at least they're polite." Blake mentions.

LORD SLUG: (mumbles while walking towards Medamatcha and hands him Bulma's pouch)

MEDAMATCHA: You want us to find them all in an hour? But it's hot as balls!

LORD SLUG: (mumbles which sounds like "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch.")

(shows the Dragon Radar with all seven Dragon Balls blinking nearby)

MEDAMATCHA: Thank you. (takes a DragonBall from a bird's nest)

ANGIRA: (takes a DragonBall from a man who falls on the ground) Thank you.

DORODABO: (takes a DragonBall from a mountain) Thank you, mountain.

DRAGONBALL SOLDIER 1: I got a DragonBall!

DRAGONBALL SOLDIER 2: I got a DragonBall!

DRAGONBALL SOLDIER 3: I got a DragonBall!

(cut to Peanuts' "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" Halloween special)

CHARLIE BROWN: (in ghost costume) I got a rock.

"The fu-" the hammer-wielder asks but was cut off by Ren to prevent her from being rude.

(cut to Lord Slug preparing to summon the Eternal Dragon)

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling) (Shenron gets summoned)

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. Why have you summoned me?

LORD SLUG: (unintelligentable mumbling)

SHENRON: You wish to return to the prime of your youth. Your wish shall be-- Wait a second. Hold on. Something seems really familiar about this.

LORD SLUG: (makes an annoyed growling sound)

SHENRON: Ah, doesn't matter. Your wish is granted. (eyes glow red and grants the wish)

LORD SLUG: (laughs as he grows young) (fluently) Lord Slug the Almighty has retuuuurrrned! My youth, my strength, my impeccable singing voice!

Weiss questions what she just heard from Lord Slug.

("What a Wonderful World" by Louie Armstrong starts playing as a satellite files up into space and creates a mist that pollutes the earth, killing plants and wildlife)

LORD SLUG: (singing to "What a Wonderful World", but with his own lyrics)
♪I see trees of brown and skies of black♪
♪And I think to myself, what a wonderful world!♪

"Well Weiss, looks like you've got someone to rival you in the singing department." Yang joked on with grin along her face.

(cut to Goku waking up)

GOKU: Wh-where am I?

YAJIROBE: That meteor kicked your ass. Turns out it was full of bad guys, too. Who knew?

GOKU: Wow, I must have been out for a while. It's all...snowy.

YAJIROBE: I know, right? It's almost like--

GOKU: IT'S CHRISTMAAAAASSS!!!!

(cut to outside Goku's house with Icarus' skeleton on the front yard)

"NOOOOOOO! ICARUS!" the scythe-wielder cried out.

BULMA: (from inside the house) It's really a shame how hard it is to find food with all the animals dying.

(cut to Bulma and Chi-Chi inside)

CHI-CHI: Yes, we just have to make do with what we have. Gohan! Dragon soup's ready! It's finger licarus good! "You bitch!" Ruby continues to shout out, (opens the door to Gohan's room) AAAAH! (runs to Bulma) Bulma! Gohan's missing! And so is the outfit Piccolo gave him! *gasps* And Red Dawn's on Netflix!

(cut to Gohan attacking the soldiers from the sky)

GOHAN: WOOOLVERIIIIIINES! (fires a blast at the screaming soldiers) You can't touch me up here!

SOLDIER: We have blasters!

GOHAN: One of those does nothing!

SOLDIER: How about a hundred? (many soldiers are heard cocking their weapons)

GOHAN: (realizes that he's screwed) ...Wolverines?

(all soldiers open fire at Gohan, who grunts and falls on the ground)

SOLDIER: All righty! Sh*t stomp on the little kid!

(All soldiers start charging at Gohan and gets blown away by an unexpected ki blast. Cut to a shadowy figure holding up a soldier.)

SOLDIER: Oh, my God. Are you Batman?

"I AM THE SLUG!" the blonde leader intimidating one of is comic book hero's one-liner.

(The shadow figure flings the screaming soldier aside into the light, smashing its glass and revealing the shadowy figure to be Piccolo. "Disturbed - Glass Shatters" starts playing)

GOHAN: (laughs) Mr. Piccolo! (Dorodabo and Medamatcha appears)

PICCOLO: All right, what's your gimmick?

DORODABO: Gimmick?

PICCOLO: Yeah, like the last guys. They were all Misfit Minions and crap. What are you?

ANGIRA: We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.

PICCOLO: Eh, six out of ten.

ANGIRA: You sassy bitch.

PICCOLO: (to Medamatcha) That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.

MEDAMATCHA: I can spawn mini-mes!

PICCOLO: Spectacular. (to Dorodabo) And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.

DORODABO: You take that back or I'll kill you!

PICCOLO: All right, all right. You're not tough.

DORODABO: That's better!

GOHAN: Wait, didn't you...

PICCOLO: Give him a minute.

(short pause)

DORODABO: Hey! You son of a bitch! (lunges forward and tries punching Piccolo, but rams his fist into the back of a cargo truck)

Most of the hunters laughted at the Dorodabo's delayed reaction and response afterwards.

PICCOLO: Now, now. That truck is not your eating disorder.

DORODABO: (removes his fist from the truck) You're a penis!

PICCOLO: So long since you've seen yours that you don't even recognize one, do ya?

This movie has some of the best lines so far." Yang comments with others even agreeing with her.

(Piccolo leaps off the truck and lands on a roof with Dorodabo following and attempts to punch Piccolo again, but Piccolo catches and crushes his fist, causing Dorodabo to scream in pain, and then grabs his wrist.)

DORODABO: Please don't break mah arm.

PICCOLO: No. (breaks Dorodabo's arm, who screams in pain)

DORODABO: Aaaaaaahhh!

everyone winced at the arm being cracked.

(Medamatcha spawns four mini-Matchas out of his back, who all fly after Gohan)

MEDAMATCHA: Daddy's little freaks of nature!

GOHAN: (thinking) No... Oh God...! Oh, no! Oh, God! (the mini-Machas fly up into his face) No, no, no, no...!

(cut to Dorodabo punching Piccolo, but Piccolo block the attack and kicks him off the roof)

DORODABO: He thinks he's so great, I'ma show him! (runs back inside the building, but gets knocked off the roof) Oh, goddammit! (runs back inside the building) Alright! Go for the left! He won't see me comin' from-- (gets knocked off the roof again) Ahh! he saw it comin'! Fine! I'll wait down here and catch him off-guard! (runs back inside the building)

PICCOLO: (from inside the building) Hey. How's it goin'?

DORODABO: (from inside the building) Oh, hey. I'm just waitin' for that green jerk so I can surprise him.

PICCOLO: (from inside the building) Neat.

DORODABO: Yeah! He'll never see it comin-- Oh.

(Piccolo blows him out the windows of the building)

"Well, okay then." RWBY's ninja says.

DORODABO: Urgh. All right, look. I know we said some things, but I bet if we just talk to each other a little, we could become friends. What do you say? High five?

PICCOLO: Down low.

DORODABO: Wha--?

PICCOLO: Too slow. (blasts Dorodabo in the face)

"Oh come on, you two had good banter together." Yang anoyingly disappointedly groaned.

(cut to Gohan falling down to the ground, with the mini-Matchas still on him)

MEDAMATCHA: All right, babies. Come back to papa! (the mini-Matchas fly away from Gohan) It's daddy's turn to get a shot at him now! (fires a blast at Gohan)

PICCOLO: WHY CAN'T YOU SAVE YOUR OWN DAMN SEEEEEELF?! (moves in and takes the blast to save Gohan)

"HE'S FIVE!" Ren attempt to reminds Piccolo.

MEDAMATCHA: Ha ha! The boss is gonna love this!

(cut to Lord Slug inside his ship)

LORD SLUG: Oh, God. I love this! My skin is so f**king smooth!

"The room bursts into laughter from Lord Slug feeling his younger self.

(cut back to the battle)

MEDAMATCHA: Now, to finish them off! (kicks Piccolo off Gohan)

PICCOLO: Ow.

MEDAMATCHA: Papa Medamatcha's gonna make you his bitch! (evades an incoming ki blast) Gah!

ANGIRA: Who the hell?

(Goku and Krillin arrive on the scene)

MEDAMATCHA: (chuckles) Look! Another couple of putzes to knock around! This should be fu-- (Goku turns around and walks over to Gohan) What, bitch?! I'm talking to you! I will smack you with my dick!

"Wooh, what!?" Yang confusingly wonders.

GOKU: Don't worry, Gohan. I'll save Christmas.

GOHAN: But...it's not Christmas.

GOKU: Then why is it snowing, Gohan?

ANGIRA: Not to be rude, but we've got better things to do.

MEDAMATCHA: Yeah! We're gonna take your planet, and--

GOKU: Steal Christmas?

ANGIRA: Does he mean Freeza Day?

MEDAMATCHA: What the hell's a Christma-- (Goku grabs him with his legs and flings him towards the ship)Aaaaaah! (flies into the ship, which explodes, and gets up from the rubble) Oh, I don't give a s**t what Christmas is now! I just know I'm going to kill it! And then my little Matchas are going to RAPE IT!

"Well, you done efed up." Weiss comments.

GOKU: Nobody rakes Christmas.

(Angira plants both his arms down on the ground and grabs Goku's feet)

ANGIRA: Medamatcha!

MEDAMATCHA: Suck him dry, boys! (spawns four mini-Matchas, with three of them grabbing Goku from behind and one of them grabbing Goku's face)

GOKU: (muffled) Hmm, what to do?

(Medamatcha grabs Goku's head and prepares to bite him, but Goku punches him and powers up, throwing the mini-Matchas off)

ANGIRA: You little upstart prick! Yaaah! (shoots a mouth blast at Goku, but Goku fires his own blast that goes inside his mouth and explodes) Uuuaargh! (falls down on the ground)

"Well, that's brutal." Pyrrha uncomfortablely suggeted.

GOKU: (grabs Medamatcha's body with one hand) And that’s how I saved Christmas. (throws Medamatcha's body at the soldiers) Again.

KRILLIN: Well that was unnecessarily brutal. (see multiple screaming soldiers running back into the ship) What about them?

"I KNOW, RIGHT?!" Jaune agrees.

"When did he get there?" Yang questions.

GOKU: They can live. (an explosion erupts from inside the ship) Or not.

LORD SLUG: (walks outside of his ship) God, we go through soldiers here like copy paper. (to Goku and Krillin) If you're with the government or the church, get the f**k off my property. "How does he know either?" Blake wonders, Which, considering I now own this rock, is effectively everything.

KRILLIN: Don't worry, Goku. Just sit on back and let Krillin handle this one.

(cut to Vegeta watching the battle from a TV)

VEGETA: Oh, my God. This is going to be amazing.  Aaaand, record. (clicks a button on the remote to record the battle)

(Krillin charges at Lord Slug and predictably gets slapped out of the way)

KRILLIN: (as he gets sent flying) What possessed me to do thaaaat?

VEGETA: And the Emmy goes to...

Most of the hunters laughed at Vegeta's joke with snarky comment.

GOKU: Krillin!

(Goku charges at Lord Slug, who leaps away before Goku can reach him. Goku then leaps up into the sky, with Lord Slug reappears up front and punches him in the face. Goku then falls headfirst into the ground.)

LORD SLUG: (walks towards Goku's lower body) You know, there's a certain sport I excel at. (grabs one of Goku's legs)

GOKU: (muffled) What's it called?

LORD SLUG: (pulls Goku out of the ground) Competitive bitch toss! (tosses Goku straight through a truck and inside a building)

(cut to Piccolo trying to wake Gohan up)

PICCOLO: (weakly) Hey Gohan... Gohan, you wanna do that thing where you get really mad and start beating the guy up? (Gohan does not respond) Gohan? Gohan? (Gohan still doesn't give a response) Don't you f**king ignore me.

"But he's unconscious." the heiress commented.

(cut back to Goku)

GOKU: (thinking) All right. I've just gotta pull myself together. At least he's not shooting laser eyes at me or something. (Lord Slug shoots eye beams at him) He's an X-Man! (dives to the side to avoid the explosion and lands on Iguana Street) Oh great, Iguana Street. Now I'm gonna get mugged. But joke's on them; I have no money-- (gets punched by Lord Slug) AAUGH! (his head bursts through the wall of another building) Oh, hey. I should take Chi-Chi here. She'll love this place. (Lord Slug pulls him out of the wall and punches him down the street) AAUGH!

LORD SLUG: This is amazing. I feel like a young strapping lad, beating his meat furiously for the first time!

"What the hell?" everyone questions both internally and out loud.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku! Do you hear me?

GOKU: (thinking) Hey, King Kai. My nipples are rigid right now.

KING KAI: (telepathically) That's... Anyway, I noticed you're having a hard time down there.

GOKU: (thinking) Yeah, he's pretty really strong. I'm not sure what to do. But if I fail, Christmas is doomed!

KING KAI: But it's not... (a light bulb shines above his head) (telepathically) I mean, yes. Goku, it's Christmas. And you're about to let Christmas die.

GOKU: (thinking) But he's so strong! I don't think I can--

KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku! You are the only one who can do this. You are the Champion of Christmas.

LORD SLUG: (chuckles) DIIIIIE! (throws another punch at Goku, but Goku catches it with his hand) Huh?

(Goku powers up and gets engulfed in a golden aura)

GOKU: HAAAAAAAAAA! (crushes Lord Slug's hand)

LORD SLUG: Son of a bitch! My whittling hand!

GOKU: (in a booming, echoing voice) I AM CHAMPION CHRISTMAS! HYAAAAAAAH! (charges forward and kicks Lord Slug into a building)

"Holy shit!" everyone shout out without caution or care about Ruby's innocence.

(cut to King Kai on his planet)

KING KAI: Holy crap! Where'd this come from? He's become...super-powered. Like some kind of...Super Saiyaman.

TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: (Bubbles with a top hat, a monocle, and a moustache) Sir, if I might interject, that sounds positively ridiculous.

KING KAI: (off-screen) Shut up, Talking Movie Bubbles!

"Why can't we have him canon instead of the other one." Nora groaned in disappoint.

(cut to Lord Slug flying out of a building and hitting the ground)

LORD SLUG: What the hell got into you?

GOKU: (in a booming, echoing voice) I WILL STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING CHRISTMAS!

LORD SLUG: What are you talking about? It's July!

GOKU: (in a booming, echoing voice) DON'T "JULY" TO ME! IT'S SNOWING!

LORD SLUG: I froze your planet, you mook!

GOKU: (in a booming, echoing voice) Wha? (pupils reappears) Awwww.

(cut to King Kai on his planet)

KING KAI: Ah, crap.

TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: Well, that's inconvenient.

KING KAI: Movie Bubbles, I swear to God! In a trunk! Off a cliff!

"Where's the cliff on a very small planet like yours?" Yang cheerly questions.

(cut back to Goku on Earth)

GOKU: (normal voice) Well, I still have to defeat you! And you can't win with a broken arm! (Lord Slug tears off his injured arm) (powers down) No, no, no. You're supposed to leave it on. It gets better.

LORD SLUG: (screams and grows a new arm)

GOKU: Or, you know...grow it back. Wait a minute... That means your... (Lord Slug removes his other sleeve and his helment) ...jaw is enormous!

(Lord Slug starts growing into a giant)

GOKU: (thinking) Hold on a minute. I know now! I know what he is! He's a--

KING KAI: (telepathically) Do not say Yoshi!

GOKU: ...I'ma still think it.

KING KAI: Namekian, Goku. Na-me-ki-an. (telepathically) A Super Namekian, mind you, who's here to rule over your planet. Apparently, he is the banished other half of a Grand Elder Namekian who became too old and decrepit to fight. But now he has used the DragonBalls to return himself to his prime.

GOKU: Hold on a second. Now I may not be the brightest knife in the crayon box, but that sure sounds a lot like... (Lord Slug growls and walks forward) Hey! You wouldn't be related to King Piccolo, would you? I hope that doesn't sound racist... I've gotta be careful about that. We're still on Iguana Street. (Squeals and moves out of the way as Lord Slug tries stomping on him and then destroys a building) (thinking while hiding behind a building)Okay, do Namekians know about sensing energy? I seem to remember they don't-- (runs and evades another attack) Oh, God! They do!

(Goku tries running off in one direction, but Lord Slug blocks his path with his hand. Goku then turns around to run in the other direction and Lord Slug head pops up right beside him.)

LORD SLUG: Hey.

GOKU: Hi.

"Is Slug laying down to do this? Or is Goku on an elevated level?" Pyrrha wonders with how the sence is playing out.

LORD SLUG: How's it going?

GOKU: Eh, ya know. kinda bummed it isn't actually Christmas.

LORD SLUG: Yeah, kinda sucks.

(Goku and Lord Slug stare at each other in silence for a few seconds)

GOKU: (quickly cupping his hands together) KAMEHAME--

LORD SLUG: HA! (fires a point-blank mouth blast at Goku, clearing the entire section of the city) Ah, there's no kill quite like overk-- (sees Goku still standing) Huh? How did I miss him? I shot him point blank!

GOKU: (reveals he blocked the blast with his arms as one of his wristbands fall off) I love you, lucky wristbands.

LORD SLUG: COME HERE! (stretches one arm at Goku, who leaps up and lands on it)

GOKU: (while running up Lord Slug's arm) Running, running, running, running, FACE! (blasts Lord Slug in the face)

LORD SLUG: Raah! (fall on the ground) Yah! (fires eye beams)

GOKU: (narrowly dodges eye beams) Whoa, hot!

LORD SLUG: GET OVER HERE! (stretches one arm and grabs Goku)

"That sounds like a refenrence to one of the characters from 'Soaring Ninja' games." Ruby points out while Jaune and Yang slowly understands the reference.

GOKU: (as Lord Slug holds him with both hands) Now, I know what you're thinkin', "Should I crush him?" And the answer may surprise you. (Lord Slug crushes him and squeaks) Aah!

"Not this again." Ruby said while her sister was giggling.

LORD SLUG: Huh? What the? (crushes Goku four more times, who squeaks each time) This is amazing!

GOKU: Why does everyone laugh when they do that? That's my ribs crushing my lungs! (squeaks again as Lord Slug crushes him) Augh!

"That doesn't even begin to make sense." Weiss comments.

LORD SLUG: (chuckles)

PICCOLO: Hey. (LORD SLUG: Huh?) Name's Piccolo. (is shown on Lord Slug's head grabbing both his antennaes) Nice to meet ya. I've got your antennae. Whatcha gonna do now? (Lord Slug grabs him) Aha! I knew you'd do that! Now for part two of my master plan! (rips off both his ears) AAAAAAAUGH!

LORD SLUG: The hell is wrong with everyone on this planet?

"Soooooo many things." the cat Faunus said.

PICCOLO: GOHAN! I NEED YOU TO DO THAT THING THAT REALLY ANNOYS ME!

GOHAN: You mean...talk?

PICCOLO: WHAAAT? YOU KNOW, THAT THING YOU WERE DOING EARLIER TODAY! IT REALLY GOT ON MY NERVES!

GOHAN: I don't recall, Mr. Picco--

PICCOLO: WHAAAT? HE HASN'T LOOSENED HIS GRIP YET, SO YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT DOING IT! REMEMBER? BACK AT THE WATERFALL! YOU WERE DOING IT WITH YOUR MOUTH! (pause) WHAAAT?

GOHAN: Oh. Whistle. (starts whistling the opening theme to "The Andy Griffith Show")

LORD SLUG: (laughs but hears Gohan's whistling) What the--? Oh, my God... Oh, my God... (falls down on his hands and knees) Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Aaah! It's like one drill in one ear, and another drill in the other ear, AND THEY'RE MEETING IN THE MIDDLE!!!

"Thanks for that visual." everyone sarsactically commented in unison.

PICCOLO: (thinking) Gotta get closer to Goku... Give him my energy... Probably should have stretched my arms... Got it! (grabs Goku’s hand and transfers his energy)

GOKU: (wakes up) What...happened?

PICCOLO: WHAAAT?! (falls over)

LORD SLUG: (gets up and drops Piccolo) That's it! Time for the universal mute button! (tries to blasts Gohan, but hits his ship instead) Oh, balls. That was my ship. (turns around and sees Goku) And why are you still ALIVE?!

GOKU: Kaio-Ken! (powers up to Kaio-Ken)

LORD SLUG: Kaio--

PICCOLO: (off-screen) WHAAAT?!

(Goku flies up and bursts straight through Lord Slug's torso, causing him to scream and fall on his ship)

GOKU: Now I must go. My planet needs me. "Your planet's here." Ren confusingly said followed by a "What?", (flies up through the dark cloud and sings to himself while raising both arms in the sky) ♪Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun. Kill my enemies!♪ (finishes gathering energy for the Spirit Bomb)

LORD SLUG: (flies up through the clouds) If I die, I’m taking you with me!

GOKU: SEE YOU IN HFIL! (throws the Spirit Bomb down on Lord Slug)

LORD SLUG: AAAAAAUUUGH! (get engulfed by the Spirit Bomb and hits the satellite) WHY DIDN'T I WISH FOR IMMORTALITYYYYYYYYYYY?!

(following the destruction of the satellite, the terra-freezing process is reversed and the dark clouds disappears, restoring the Earth's peaceful atmosphere)

GOKU: Now that I've defeated King Piccolo, I can wish back Chiaotzu, Master Roshi and Krillin. (looks up in the sky and smiles)

PICCOLO: (off-screen) WHAAAT?!

The room once again erupts into laughter from Piccolo's constint questioning with the word "Whaaat?!"

("Stupify" by Disturbed starts playing as the ending credits roll)

NAPPA: Yo, dawg. It's the year 2000! It's time for another Nappa cover, cause this sh*t don't get old! ♪I've been waiting my whole life for just one...♪

PICCOLO: WHAAAT?!

NAPPA: ♪All I needed was just one...♪

PICCOLO: WHAAAT?!

NAPPA: ♪How could ya say that I don't give a...♪

PICCOLO: WHAAAT?!

NAPPA: ♪Find myself stupified, coming back again.♪

PICCOLO: WHAAAT?!

NAPPA: ♪I get stupified. I get stupified.♪

(Screen goes black and reads "6 Months Previous". A letter is shown being written and read by its author)

"Oh wow, it seems like we get an origin as to why Slug invaded the planet." Pyrrha said with curiosity.

GURU: (reading his letter)
Dear Slug,
It is I, your other half, writing to you from our home planet. It has been many years since I banished you from it after we split from the same being. How are you doing? I'm doing great. I've got my own servant. Do you have a servant? Mine's name is Nail. He's kind of a tool...for my amusement. By the way, if you're looking for a good time, hit up Earth, I hear they've got Dragon Balls there. You could probably take them over, too, their defenses probably suuuck. Well, time for my sponge bath. Keep in touch! 
Sincerely,
Your Evil Half.
(looks up) Naaaail! Come and maaaail this for me.

NAIL: Sir, we don't have a mail system.

"Oh, so that's who Piccolo was talking to." Weiss finally releaved that her quetion at the begining of the movie was answered.

GURU: Nail, gather the Dragon Balls.

"Really, gather some 'wish-granting orbs' to have a mailing system?" Ruby questions, "that's the dumbest thing ever. Of all time." she said while everyone else agrees with her.

"So, does anyone want to continue watching, or is it too late to continue?" Jaune asks with concern for his teams health, specially Nora's, and they agree to continue watching.

Weiss accepts that it's still early to go to bed but a few more episodes wounldn't hurt at all. So Ruby readies the next episode.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

VEGETA: This is a parody! Official release! Support Akira Toriyama!

"That was a really quick introducion." Pyrrha commented.

(cut to a Saiyan space pod crashing down on Earth, with Raditz landing in front of the crater)

FARMER WITH SHOTGUN: You're an alien!

RADITZ: I'm an alien.

PICCOLO: Am I an alien?

RADITZ: Probably. Where's my brother?

PICCOLO: I dunno.

RADITZ: Then you're useless to me! (flies off)

"That moved on too quickly." Weiss stated as she was trying to keep up with what the characters are saying, almost like she's comparing it to Dr. Oobleck's fast-talking speeches.

[KAI OPENING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to Goku and Gohan at Kame House)

GOKU: I have a kid.

GOHAN: I'm socially awkward.

KRILLIN: He's adorable. (gets blasted through a wall by Raditz. The Krillin Owned Count rapidly rises before exploding.)

RADITZ: I'm here for my brother.

GOKU: Am I your brother?

RADITZ: Yes.

(shows everyone's shocked faces along with a picture of M. Night Shyamalan)

"My Oum!" Nora sounding shocked in a sarcastic way.

RADITZ: (is seen holding Gohan) I'm taking your son.

GOKU: No, you're not! (gets kneed in the stomach by Raditz, who then flies off) Ahhh! He took my son!

PICCOLO: I'm here to help you.

GOKU: Aren't we enemies?

PICCOLO: Nobody watched DragonBall. Let's go! (he and Goku fly off)

"Wait, wha--" Jaune attempted to question by was cut off from the scene transintion.

GOKU: Are you a Yoshi?

PICCOLO: Hells yeah!

"Why even answer that question." Blake wonders.

(cut to Goku and Piccolo about to face off against Raditz)

GOKU: Give me back my son. (Raditz unzips his fly) Gross.

"Yeah, gross." Yang agreed.

PHIL SEBBEN: Ha-ha! (Raditz beats up Goku and Piccolo and then gets headbutted by Gohan and put in Full Nelson by Goku)

GOKU: Piccolo, get him!

PICCOLO: Makansapalapaka! (hits Goku and Raditz with the Special Beam Cannon)

"Was that even english?" Pyrrha question to which everyone simple said 'no'.

VIDEO GAME ANNOUNCER: Double kill! (Goku and Raditz fall to the ground)

"Fatality!" The ginger-haired girl said while intimadating the announcer from 'Soaring Ninja' games. (A/N: Basically the Moral Kombat series from Remnant).

GOKU: And now I am the dead. Bleh. (dies)

KRILLIN: Oh, no, Goku's dead!

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Hey Nappa, let's go to Earth.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Ballin'.

"Yey Nappa's alive." the hammer-wielder cheered.

"For now, at least." Ren corrected to his partner.

KRILLIN: Oh, no, more Saiyans!

PICCOLO: I'm taking Gohan. (takes Gohan and flies away)

(cut to Mr. Popo on Kami's Lookout along with Krillin, Yamcha, Tien holding Chiaotzu, and Yajirobe)

MR. POPO: Hi, maggots. I'm training you. I'm terrifying and a potential rapist. But I'll never say it flat-out. (short pause) BAH!

KRILLIN: Ahhhh!

Everyone in the was frozen in fear from what Mr. Popo said and when screamed when he when 'BAH!'.

(cut to Piccolo training Gohan)

PICCOLO: Dodge! (kicks Gohan)

GOHAN: Ahhh!

(cut to King Kai's planet)

BOJACK: (from inside the planet) Yarr!

GOKU: Who are you?

KING KAI: I'm King Kai you now know the Kaio-Ken and the Spirit Bomb. F**k off. Shut up, Bojack.

"Some of the hunters chuckled at King Kai's super-quick training session.

(cut to Piccolo and Gohan on Earth)

PICCOLO: Twelve months have passed, let's go fight Saiyans.

KRILLIN: Oh, God, it's the Saiyans!

VEGETA: Hi.

KRILLIN: Yamcha's here. (Yamcha gets blown up by a Saibaman)  Yamcha's dead!

"Should it be that surpriseing since he nearly died in the second movie?" Ren asked with a confused face.

"The movie aren't canon though." Ruby reminded.

VEGETA: Nappa, get'em.

NAPPA: I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.

"Sir yes sir Mister Nappa." Nora said as she suluted the fictional character.

KRILLIN: Tien, get'em!

TIEN: I am the only serious character in this show, that's the joke.

"Really?" Jaune and Weiss asked together as Nora, Ruby and Yang laughed.

(Chiaotzu, Tien, and Piccolo die)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, everyone's dead.

NAPPA: Hilariously derailing one-liner.

Nora copied exaclly what Nappa stated.

GOKU: Goku's here!

KRILLIN: Goku's here!

VEGETA: (crushes his scouter) It's over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: (screaming with Vegeta) Aaaaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaa...

NAPPA:: ...aaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaa--

The hyper-active ginger was about to join in but was interupted when...

(Vegeta kills Nappa)

NAPPA: Vegeta why?!

...Nappa died. Again.

VEGETA: Because I'm a monkey.

(Vegeta transforms into an Ōzaru)

GOKU: Kaio-Ken!

VEGETA: Kaio-what? Ahh!

Jaune, along with Pyrrha, Ruby and Yang, chuckled at the 'Kaio-what' joke.

(Vegeta gets tail cut off by Yajirobe and turns back to normal)

VEGETA: Oh, no, I'm not a monkey! Oh, no, the kid's a monkey! (notices Gohan as an Ōzaru) Destructo Disc! (throws Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Gohan's tail)

KRILLIN: The f**k?

"I thought Goku was the one who steals techniques?" Yang jokingly questions.

(Destructo Disc cuts off Ōzaru Gohan's tail)

VEGETA: Yay! (Ōzaru falls on top of Vegeta) No! (gets crushed by Ōzaru Gohan) Leaving now.

"That must be a embarrissing defeat." Pyrrha stated and her teammates agree with her.

(Vegeta leaves in his space pod)

GOKU: And we'll never see him again.

"Are you sure?" the heiress asks.

VEGETA: (thinking) They'll see me next episode.

"And there it is." the white-haired member getting her answer.

GHOST NAPPA: And I'm a ghost, or am I?

"Dundunduuuuuuuuuun." Nora attempting to be dramatic.

[KAI ENDING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series in front of a computer with the DragonBall Z Kai Abridged logo on the monitor)

"Who the hell is that?" the cat Faunus questions with confusion and curiosity.

YAMI: This has how many subscribers?

"He might be from another abridged series created from the same guys who's doing this series." the scythe-wielder stated to her feline friend.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, whats next, Rubies?" the blond brawler asks her baby sister.

"Actually, that was just 'Season 1'," she said as she looked though her Scroll, "There's two more seasons, three other Kai episodes, two more specials, four non-canon movies, and mini-series titled 'Cell Vs'."

"Wow, and I thought it'll be just one season and it will disappear for a couple of years in the C.C.T.S. network." Ruby's partner said though her own opinion.

"Well, lets get started on season 2 then." the blond leader suggested while Ruby prepared episode 11.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene cuts to Wukong Hospital where Goku is seen in bandages from his battle with Vegeta)

MASTER ROSHI: Hey there, Goku. How goes the recovery?

GOKU: Well, the doctors say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. "You mean more than before?" Ruby question, And the brain damage. And the brain damage. "Error 404: Brain may be melted into slag." Yang laughed, Oh, hey Master Roshi. When did you get here?

"...OK, I'm just going to accept this as Goku's stupidity." Weiss admits to everyone.

DR. FIELDGOOD: Mister.... San Gaaku? You have another visitor to see you.

GOKU: What? But all my friends are already here.

MR. POPO: (appearing outside a window) Not all of them.

"Uh-oh." Jaune said loud as everyone else had the eyes widened and frozen in place.

GOKU: Uh... uh... uh...

"I'm s-sensing that G-Goku has P-PTSD." Ren stuttered.

(flashback of kid Goku arriving at Kami's Lookout)

KID GOKU: Yay! I made it to the top! Now I can train with Kami, the strongest, most powerful being on the... (notices Mr. Popo) Hmm? Who's that?

(both Goku and Mr. Popo stare at each other, with the camera moving back-and-forth on their faces before going back to the present)

GOKU: (starts screaming) GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! (screams) OH, GOD! OH, GOD! (continues to scream while the nurses try and hold him down)

NURSE 1: Hold him down!

NURSE 2: Careful, he's injured!

"That was the appropriate responce if I met him at a young age." Blake admitted, as does everyone else for that matter.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, we've finally been able to sedate him. Took us a while; we had to go through some alternative treatment.

MASTER ROSHI: Oh, really? What did you use?

DR. FIELDGOOD: Something I found under the sink. I think it was... Clorox or something.

"Bit overboard there... maybe?" Nora asked with curosity.

(cuts to Goku, who is foaming at the mouth)

GOKU: (gargles)

"Eh, it's Goku. Don't think it'll hurt more than usual." Pyrrha wondered.

DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, page me if you need me.

MR. POPO: Byyyye.

Everyone froze even more than before.

MASTER ROSHI:: Oh, you're still here. Who are you anyway?

KORIN: That's Mister Popo. He lives up on the lookout with Kami.

MASTER ROSHI:: (looks at Korin) Did that cat just talk?

The room was quiet for what felt like hours until the cat Faunus said, "I want a talking cat."

"Blake~, you don't want one, you ARE one." the blond brawler stated with a simile on her lips.

MR. POPO: Alright. Everyone listen up if you want to get those other useless maggots back.

KRILLIN: You mean, you can get our friends back?

MR. POPO: (sky turns red) Shut up, maggot!

All of teams RWBY and JNPR screamed at Mr. Popo's offoraty.

KRILLIN: (visibly terrified) Yes, sir!

MR. POPO: (sky turns blue) As I was saying, the only hope to get your friends back is to use the Dragon Balls on Kami's home planet: Namek.

BULMA: Namek? That's not a planet I've ever heard of.

"Of course you haven't." the heiress sarsactically said.

MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better. What are the odds?

All the female hunters tuck that to heart, very seriously.

KRILLIN: To be fair, Mr. Popo, until recently, I've never heard of that planet either.

MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better.

Then they laughed at the black genie's sassy comeback.

KRILLIN: A-- ga-- god... dammit, I walked right into that one...

"Yes you did buddy." the blond leader said with sympathy.

MR. POPO: Anyway, I'm the only one who knows where Kami's old ship is. And the only one with the transportation to get you there, and this is a carpet made for two.

BULMA: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote--

KRILLIN: Bulma.

MASTER ROSHI: Bulma.

KORIN: Bulma.

GOHAN: Bulma.

YAJIROBE: Bulma.

OX KING: Yoooohooo. Bulma.

GOKU: (continues to gargle)

"I think that means 'Bulma'." JNPR's ninja translated.

BULMA: (desperately trying to avoid being along with Mr. Popo) Okay, um... uh... "Hey, it was your idea." the scythe-wielder said, Oh, ha! (takes out a remote)We don't need your help! I've got right here a remote control to one of the crashed Saiyan ships. All I have to do is put in these coordinates and... (pushes some buttons on the remote, promptly causing the Saiyan pod to explode, startling a reporter)

TV REPORTER: YEEEEEEE-- (TV shows an off-air color bars screen along with a beeping sound)

VOICE: Critical failure!

Some of the hunters laughed at Bulma's attempt of escape.

MR. POPO: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options.

"He planned that!?" Weiss shockingly asks.

MASTER ROSHI: Dammit, Bulma. Stop being such a scaredy-cat and get on the carpet with the scary genie.

"I take offense to that!" Blake shouted.

BULMA: I swear to God, if anything happens to me while I'm gone, I'm kicking Krillin's ass! (Bulma starts to get on Mr. Popo's carpet)

"Wait, why just him?" Jaune confusingly questions.

"I mean, he does have an 'owned count'." Yang reminded him.

MR. POPO: Oh, you and I are going to get along just fine. (teleports away with Bulma)

(scene cuts to the highlands of Yunzabit with Mr. Popo and Bulma appearing on Mr. Popo flyig carpet)

MR. POPO: Alright, here we are. Yunzabit Heights.

"Am I the only one who thought he said 'Iceland' right?" the crimsonette asks.

"No, your not the only one." the hammer-wielder admits.

BULMA: Wait a sec... how did we make it here so fast? This is the other side of the planet!

"Are you serious? The... thing is a genie." Weiss complained.

MR. POPO: Yep, this carpet gets about ten thousand miles to the soul.

BULMA: What?

MR. POPO: The gallon.

BULMA: But... if you can make it to the other side of the planet so fast, why didn't you help Goku get to the Saiyans when he arrived on Earth?

MR. POPO: I was preoccupied.

"Let me guess, delicious murder anyone?" Yang assumes.

(flashback of Goku at Kami's Lookout)

GOKU: Mister Popo! I need your carpet to get to my friends as quickly as possible!

MR. POPO: (off-screen) Makin' toast!

GOKU: Aw, fine! Nimbus! (flies away on Flying Nimbus)

MR. POPO: (off-screen as a "Ding!" sound can be heard) Butterin' toast!

Some of the hunters were laughing at Mr. Popo making toast.

(back to present with Mr. Popo and Bulma arriving at Kami's ship)

MR. POPO: Here it is; Kami's ship.

"How has no one found it till now?" the four-time champion questions.

"It's an anime, things like this happen all the time." the white knight stated.

BULMA: It's old and covered in moss!

"I mean, have you seen Kami?" Yang sarsactically asked.

MR. POPO: I know. Fits, doesn't it? Now, get in.

"It even matches the hair." Nora relized.

BULMA: But, how do we--?

MR. POPO: Popo! (floor of the ship drops down)

BULMA: Oh, wow! Your name opens the ship?

MR. POPO: Popo! (both he and Bulma gets lifted up inside)

BULMA: And it closes it, too.

MR. POPO: POPO! (ship quickly flies into outer space and stops in front of Jupiter)

BULMA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

MR. POPO: No. It just knows better. "As it should." Ren whispers to himself, Welcome to Jupiter.

BULMA: My God, we're so far into space! In such a short amount of time! This is wonderful, Mr. Popo! We can finally save our friends! This is terrific! This is-

MR. POPO: POOOOPOOOOOO! (Ships quickly flies back towards Earth)

BULMA: AAAAAAAAHHH!

(scene cuts to Wukong Hospital)

BULMA: And we went to Jupiter in just a couple of seconds! We'll be at Namek in no time! And even better, Popo could be our pilot!

Yeah, like that'll ever happen..." Blake scuffs.

KRILLIN: Oh, dear God!

MR. POPO: No.

"Told you."

KRILLIN: Oh, thank God!

BULMA: But... Why aren't you--

MR. POPO: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you? (shows a startled Bulma) See you when you get back... except... this season... you.

(camera slowly zooms in on Krillin's face)

"Well, THAT'S not ominous as Grimm..." Jaune nervously laughs.

KRILLIN: Heh... Whaddya think he means by that? Heh.

CHI-CHI: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.

GOHAN: Actually... Mom, I'm going to Namek.

"Rebellious phase initiated." Yang said.

CHI-CHI: (sounding strained) As... I... said... my little boy... (now angry) isn't going anywhere!

GOHAN: But Mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!

"Only because you didn't DOOOOODGE!" Nora shouted.

CHI-CHI: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me, and you will do as I say!

GOHAN: But that's not--

CHI-CHI: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months, with a man who literally thought you had Cinna-Buns hidden in your shirt?!

GOHAN: But I--

CHI-CHI: Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL--

GOHAN: SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!

(awkward silence)

Even the hunter-trainees were in both shock and silence at Gohan's angry snap.

GOHAN: (calmly) I'll be going to Namek, now.

"You're grounded if you stay here, so yeah." Ruby quietly said with fear in her tone.

CHI-CHI: (walks towards the door; also calm) You'd best. (slams the door behind her)

BULMA: Well, uh... better get started on that ship!

GOHAN: Please hurry...

(scene cuts to Bulma and Dr. Briefs working on the Kami's ship)

NARRATOR: With that, Bulma got to work on the ship to prepare it for their travel.

BULMA: Hey, Dad. How are things coming along?

DR. BRIEFS: Well, I'm working on your translator, but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don’t understand.

TOILET: Toire de arimasu!

"I believe that's southern Mistral for 'I am a toilet'." Nora translated with assistants of her partner Ren.

DR. BRIEFS: Damn moonspeak!

(scene cuts to Kame House, where Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi are seen in front of Kami's spaceship)

NARRATOR: And in ten days, the remaining warriors were recovered and ready to set out to Namek.

"All of TWO warriors." the white-haired hunteress corrected.

KRILLIN: So, you sure this thing's ready to fly?

BULMA: Yep! I've gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing... We couldn't fix the translator for the toilet.

TOILET: Ich bin gefüllt mit pisswasser!

"Okay, was that east Vacuoian for 'I am filled with pee'." Blake wondered while everyone else laughed.

MASTER ROSHI: (notices a twinkle in the sky) Hey, I think I see their car.

(Chi-Chi, Ox-King, and Gohan arrive at Kame House)

KRILLIN: Hey Gohan, how are yo... (notices a blushing Gohan with a bowl haircut) ...OH, MY GOD! What happened to your head? You look like a young Moe Howard.

GOHAN: Well look who's talking, Curly!

KRILLIN: Why, I oughta...!

BULMA: (angrily) Clam it, chowderheads, we gotta get going!

Why are they launching from Kame House by the way?" Pyrrha asks as no one has they answer for her.

GOHAN: Bye everybody!

CHI-CHI: Now Gohan, don't make any friends with any questionable strangers! That includes you, Krillin!

Yang giggled at that.

KRILLIN: So Bulma, where do I put my stuff?

BULMA: (angrily) Sit down, strap in, and shut up!

"Allitertive much?" Weiss wonders.

KRILLIN: Uh, alright. So Gohan, how much stuff did you bring?

GOHAN: Well, Mom packed my bags, so there's a lot in there.

"I'm going to assume its books about peach farms." Blake said.

KRILLIN: Well, you know what they say, "Always be prepared."

BULMA: Popo.

(Spaceship quickly blasts off into outer space)

KRILLIN and GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

"Guess they weren't prepared for that." Pyrrha stated.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cuts to Wukong Hospital with Goku still gargling with foam in his mouth)

GOKU: (while gurgling) Bacon...

"They should really do something about that." Ruby suggested and everyone else agrees.

"Well, this season sortingly has a kickstart than the previous one." Yang mentions.

"Yeah, and aparently this season has double the amount of episodes than the first one too." Jaune stated.

"Well, lets get going with it then." Weiss said was she was to get this series over with, but she secertly enjoys it. So Ruby presses the play button for episode 12.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene cuts to an outside view of a mirror spaceship, where Krillin and Gohan are inside and surrounded at gunpoint by a group of space orphans)

CUTTER: So, Frieza sent you to follow us, huh? Looks like he wasn’t satisfied with just our planet!

"This escalated fast from the previous video." Yang said with little shock in her tone.

KRILLIN: Who the hell is Frieza--

CUTTER: Shut up! There's no way we can let you people live! Not after what you did to our planet, our families!

(Space orphans cheer)

CUTTER: (while aiming a gun at Krillin) And now, for you crimes against our people...

KRILLIN: Okay seriously, we have no idea what--

CUTTER: WE SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!

KRILLIN: Uhhh, isn’t that a little...

CUTTER: Men! Ready your blasters!

(many weapons are heard cocking)

KRILLIN: Gohan, this may be it. Close your eyes!

CUTTER: Aim! FIRE!

"Well, this seasons done, wells get back to..." Weiss attempted to move on but everyone else ignored her advice.

(a shot is fired at Krillin's head, which shows to have no effect)

KRILLIN: Oh... Huh....

CUTTER: Oh, my God! Frieza's men are stronger than we thought! Everyone! Take your cyanide tablets!

"Wait wha-" the blond bombshell was about to question until it hit her and she quickly covered her little sisters eyes.

KRILLIN: But we told you, we don’t know any Frieza--

(Space orphans drop dead one by one)

KRILLIN: (completely shocked at what just happened) I... uh... uh...

GOHAN: (eyes still closed) Krillin, can I open my eyes now?

"Yeah, can I see now, Yang?" Ruby asks in fustration.

"Not yet Rubies."

KRILLIN: Just get back to the ship, Gohan.

GOHAN: But I can't see.

KRILLIN: JUST GET BACK TO THE SHIP!

"Wait, where was Bulma during all this?" Blake questions.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

Yang uncovers Ruby's eyes during the opening sequence.

(scene cuts to the spaceship flying through outer space)

KRILLIN: (in his thoughts) Krillin's log, stardate... uh... November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now. Starting to feel very pent up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing but her underwear! I would relieve this tension, but I've had no alone time as the toilet (out loud) KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!!

TOILET: Scheiße auf meinem gesicht!

"What did it say?" Weiss wanting to know. Ren was hessitant but Nora was not.

"He says 'Shit in my face'." the ginger girl translated and everyone looked at her with shock and concern.

KRILLIN: I’m not sure how much longer I can last...

BULMA: Krillin, are you saying something?

KRILLIN: Nothing! (under his breath) Goddamn c*cktease.

"WOOOH!" Yang shouted at Krillin's censorship.

BULMA: Huh? You guys! You wouldn’t believe it, but, I see planet Namek!

KRILLIN: Wait, how the hell do you know it's planet Name... (sees a giant neon sign that says "Planet Namek") "That doesn't raise any red flags?" Blake said, Huh. Well, what do you know? Bring us in for a landing, Bulma.

BULMA: (puts on her spacesuit) Yeah, um, about that...

KRILLIN: About what?

BULMA: Did I mention I don’t really know how to land this thing?

KRILLIN: Uh... Seat-belts, Gohan! (Gohan quickly straps in his seat-belt)

"Safety first." Jaune said with an attempt of humour.

(The spaceship drops down into the planet, with the word "Fake" briefly lighting up on the neon sign above "Planet Namek")

"And there it is..." Weiss stated for the follow-up from Blake's question.

(scene cuts to the spaceship plowing through a wooded area, with Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan screaming, until it nearly stops short of falling off a cliff)

KRILLIN: See? This is why women shouldn't drive!

"Hey, we take offense to that." Nora loudly stated.

BULMA: Oh, right. This coming from the Asian!

"He's more like an Latino... racist." Weiss corrected and insulted.

GOHAN: Well, I’m half-Saiyan, what does that make me?

"Someone who shouldn't care about driving cause you can fly." Pyrrha said.

BULMA and KRILLIN: FIVE!

(the ship tips forward and drops over the cliff, with everyone screaming before the screen goes black)

(scene changes to an outside view of a "Namakian" house with Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan slepping in a bed)

ZAACRO: Uh, are you sure they're okay? They've been out for a long time.

RAITI: Of course I’m sure they’re okay! Now just follow the plan!

ZAACRO: We had a plan?

RAITI: Of course we have the plan, stupid! To take their ship, and get off this stupid rock. (Bulma starts to wake up) Oh crap, they're waking up! Act natural, act natural!

ZAACRO: Hi.

RAITI: Hiii!

"Not remotely suspicious." Ruby sarsactically said.

ZAACRO: Welcome to Namek!

RAITI: Yeah, Namek!

ZAACRO: Totally.

RAITI: We're totally Namekers.

"Okay now they are suspicious." the crimsonette continues.

BULMA: You mean Namekians?

RAITI: Yeah, those guys. That's us!

ZAACRO: So, uh, what brings you to, like, our planet?

RAITI: Which is Namek.

BULMA: Well, we’re here to search for the Dragon Balls.

RAITI: Eww! That's disgusting! Why would you--

ZAACRO: I think they mean the ones that grant wishes.

RAITI: Oh yeah, we totally have those! The wish-granting balls...

BULMA: Oh. Well, if you wouldn’t mind helping us look for them.

RAITI: Oh yeah, we’ll help you find the ball dragons.

ZAACRO: (off-screen) Dragon Balls.

RAITI: Yeah that one. Hey Zaacro.

ZAACRO: What?

RAITI: We should totally help them find them, and then we'll take them and then we'll make our wish for ourselves!

ZAACRO: Uh, ours don't actually grant any wishes. I think we made that up. Did we make that up?

RAITI: What? No... Why would we make that up?

ZAACRO: Well, 'cause, like ya told me when we read their minds that we wanted their ship so we could get off this planet.

RAITI: That's... that’s... no... that’s just no. We would never do that, dude. Come on, not cool.

"Oh bullshit." Blake cursed quietly so Ruby didn't hear it.

GOHAN: Krillin, do these two seem off to you?

KRILLIN: I like 'em!

"Lord Popo was right about you." Jaune said.

"'Lord... Popo...?'" Pyrrha confusionly asks her partner.

"Pecking order, remember?" the blond leader said was everyone felt a shiver run down their spines.

RAITI: Time to find the Dragon Balls!

(scene shifts to an outside shot of Frieza Planet 218 and then inside with Vegeta in a healing tank)

DR. BIRDENHEIM: Yeah, he landed here a few days ago. He was pretty messed up, I'll tell ya what.

RUDY: But, what happened to his partner?

DR. BIRDENHEIM: Well that's the screwed-up part. They say he killed his partner and that his ghost still haunts him to this very day.

RUDY: What? Really?

DR. BIRDENHEIM: No! What are you, stupid? We're doctors! Scientists! Now inject this man with some science! "I am scared now." Pyrrha admitted, Delicious, magical, science!

VEGETA: (thinking) Gotta.... get... out of here... Gotta... get to... Namek... Gotta... get the... Dragon Balls... God... dammit... Nappa!

GHOST NAPPA: You were saying... saying... saying...

Nora cheered a little inside for her favourite characters to still be sticking around.

(Vegeta's muffled screams are heard)

DR. BIRDENHEIM: My God! We have to get him out of there! His heart rocket is skyrating!

"Spoonerisms are funny." Yang giggled.

RUDY: Uh, don’t you mean his heart rate...

DR. BIRDENHEIM: Dammit, man, I’m a doctor, not an English teacher! (fluid drains out of the healing tank) "Pretty sure knowing your language is prerequisite of being a doctor." Weiss corrected, Good to see you're awake, Vegeta. We have to apologize, though. We... couldn’t save your tail.

"Mind you Weiss, Freeza's forces probably killed the smartest doctors." Blake stated as Weiss agreed with the cat Faunus' thinking.

VEGETA: (putting on his armor) It’s alright. I can live without it.

DR. BIRDENHEIM: If you call that living. You'd walk around a shell of your former self, everyone calling you a "tail-less freak"!

VEGETA: ...You know, I could probably kill all of you and Frieza wouldn’t care.

DR. BIRDENHEIM: Yeah, but that still wouldn't get your tail back.

VEGETA: (now smiling) ...Tell me something, which is your favorite internal organ?

DR. BIRDENHEIM: What a odd question! But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver. (Vegeta's shadow approaches Dr. Birdenheim)

(scene cuts away to two soldiers as Dr. Birdenheim's painful scream is heard off-screen. Vegeta is seen walking past the two soldiers.)

VEGETA: (thinking) You know, it’s the simple things in life.

CUI: Hey there, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Speaking of simple, what is it, Cui?

CUI: Where are you off to in such a hurry?

VEGETA: Off to plow your mother!

CUI: Ha! Shows what you know, Vegeta. We reproduce asexually.

VEGETA: Gross, out of my way. (begins to walk past Cui)

CUI: (grabs Vegeta shoulder) Off to Namek are we?

VEGETA: ...Come again?

CUI: We heard about the Dragon Balls. We know the Namekians made them and Frieza is way ahead of you.

VEGETA: What?! How?!

CUI: The scouter was on the entire time.

VEGETA: That's impossible! My transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was-- (suddenly realizes that there was only one person who accompanied him to Earth)

(cuts to Vegeta in a space pod, how having a scouter, on his way to Planet Namek)

VEGETA: GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Epiphanies are a bitch sometimes." Nora chuckled.

(scene shifts to "Planet Namek" where Bulma is seen holding the Dragon Radar)

BULMA: Wow, you guys. We’ve already found two Dragon Balls.

KRILLIN: Wow! This usually takes us, like... months.

RAITI: That's because you’re on the planet Namek. Everything's better up here. You should totally stay here... forever. While we take your ship.

KRILLIN: What?

RAITI: Oh, look it’s another Dragon Ball in the lake. You should go get it!

(shows the ship flying over a giant skeleton)

KRILLIN: Is that a giant skeleton?

RAITI: Oh come on, dude. What are you, chicken? Don’t you want to have the awesome adventures? On the planet Namek? With the Dragon Balls? And the awesome musical montage?

("Gotta Find That Dragon Ball!" theme song plays while the group is shown finding five Dragon Balls)

RAITI: Hey, wasn’t that fun?

ZAACRO: Yeah, it was... woo...

KRILLIN: Hey, um, I’ve been meaning to ask you guys. Where are all the other Namekians?

RAITI: Oh, they’re around. Don’t even pretend you didn’t see them.

ZAACRO: Yeah, we passed them like, three times.

RAITI: Didn’t you see Steve?

ZAACRO: He waved!

RAITI: Don’t diss Steve.

ZAACRO: Yeah, don’t do that.

RAITI: He has social phobias.

BULMA: Come on, you guys! We only have one more Dragon Ball left! Then we can wish back our friends!

RAITI: What? No! We can't let you do that!

ZAACRO: Yeaaah. We-- What?

RAITI: See, we can’t let you have the Dragon Balls. They’re our Dragon Balls! We will take them and we will make our wish for ourselves! And then, you suck our three-foot long Schwanzstuckes!

KRILLIN: Your what?

ZAACRO: Our-- our wangs.

RAITI: It’s funny because "wang" means penis.

KRILLIN: Wait a minute! Namekians don’t HAVE penises!

Baldy finally gets a clue!" Yang cheered.

RAITI: What?! What are you talking about?! Of course we do!

ZAACRO: Uhh, actually, I, uh, read their minds... and I don't think we do.

KRILLIN: You guys aren't Namekians at all!

(scene shows Raiti and Zaacro in their true forms)

RAITI: Oh look what you’ve done, Zaacro! Why do you have to go and mess this up? Blow our cover.

"How does he have the radar?" Ren questions.

ZAACRO: Okay, I did not do that. Did I do that?

RAITI: Well you must have 'cause I would never do anything that stupid.

ZAACRO: Well, there was that one time... when you got mad at those two guys... who just wanted to play a children's card game. And you made us chase after them... then we ended up crashing here... on this planet.

RAITI: Why did you have to bring that up? Open those wounds... You know what? Screw it. Just summon the tentacle monsters.

ZAACRO: Oh, all right. Umm, tentacle monsters... heeeere. (roaring sounds are heard from a lake) Okay, I think that did it.

RAITI: Hah! Now soon, you will deal with the many protruding tentacles of the violating tentacle monster.

"Well, this episode just went in a different direction." Jaune stated.

KRILLIN: Don’t worry, Bulma! I’ll protect you!

RAITI: I was talking to you, baldy.

KRILLIN: Wait, wha-- (tentacle monster grab Krillin's leg) Oh! (tentacle monster grabs Krillin's neck and starts pulling him away) No! No!! No not there! (Raiti and Zaacro are seen smiling) Whoa, God! Help me! Help! Aaaaugh--

(scene shifts to Krillin waking up from inside the spaceship, screaming and taking deep breaths)

KRILLIN: (thinking) Oh God... Oh... Oh man... That was... that was terrifying...

MR. POPO: (shows up next to Krillin) I’ll say.

KRILLIN: NOOOOOOOOOO--

The hunters screamed for their lives.

(scene shifts KaiserNeko waking up, startled and looking around)

"Wait," Pyrrha recovering from her screaming, "is that one of the editors?"

"He looks sexy." Yang said her voice sounding excited.

KAISERNEKO: Oh, man. I have got to stop editing so late.

(his computer screen goes black, before Popo's face appears on it)

MR. POPO: I'll say.

(KaiserNeko starts screaming)

And the hunters continue to scream.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to Planet Namek with the camera panning up to Guru's House)

NAIL: (walks up to Guru) Lord Guru.

GURU: Huh?

NAIL: I have terrible news. Someone has attacked the planet.

GURU: This is very serious. I must put on my war face. Hm! There, now show me yours.

(Nail shows a serious face)

GURU: Needs work.

After they stopped and recovered from screaming, they just all desided to take a break from watch a few videos to do whatever they need to do. Most of them went to the caffintera for some food and drinks while highlighting their favourite parts of the show so far. Ruby's was the 'Goku vs Vegeta fight', Weiss' was the hole Kai episode and Nora agreed with her, Nora's was both the Kai episode and every scene with Nappa in it, Jaune's had to be the 'Z-Warriors vs Nappa fight', Pyrrha's was the montage of 'Piccolo training Gohan' and Yang agreed with her, Blake didn't have much of a favourite but she admits that the 'Goku vs Vegeta fight' was interesting, as for Ren he liked Gohan's rage moments.

After they had something to eat and talked to other Teams such as CVFY, SSSN, CEMN and SAGE (my little orginal team), they headed back to RWBY's dorm to continue watch Dragon Ball Z Abridged with Episode 13.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shows Kami's spaceship arriving on Planet Namek)

NARRATOR: So, after seven hundred and thirty-one grueling galactic weeks of travel—or one month if you never watched "Men in Black" "Nerrrd." Nora stated, —our *ahem* "heroes" have finally arrived on Planet Namek. Where the sky is green, the grass is blue, and it's boring as s**t.

"Good thing we have the Freeza force to entertain us." Blake commented.

KRILLIN: Hey, Gohan, check it out. Blue grass. What do you think their favorite kind of music is? Huh? Huh?

"Jazz. The Greens?" Yang giggled while everyone just said 'boooo'.

GOHAN: R&B...?

KRILLIN: Huh. You're really sheltered, aren't you?

"No, just awkward." Jaune corrected.

GOHAN: I had to read an entire book about peach farming on the way here. You tell me.

"How does that help with his studies?" Weiss questions.

KRILLIN: Well... hey! We're on Namek now! Bulma, got the Dragon Radar?

"No, she left it in the OTHER space ship." Yang trying to be funny again.

BULMA: Right here! We're already picking up four Dragon Balls!

KRILLIN: See? Now we just have to find them, wish our friends back, and head on home!

"Wow, that sounds easy!" Nora cheered.

BULMA: Hey Krillin, is that a Saiyan ship?

(A space pod is seen flying above Krillin)

KRILLIN: (notices the space pod) Huh?

"Guess not." Ren stated.

GOHAN: I think I sense Vegeta.

KRILLIN: (sounding more frightened) Huh?

BULMA: Oh, and now those four Dragon Balls are on the move.

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts Vegeta's space pod landing on Namek, with Vegeta emerging from the crater and holding a scouter)

KRILLIN: (in background) -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

"Krillin must be destroying his vocal cords reflexively." Pyrrha said with worry.

VEGETA: Ahhh... good to be back at a hundred percent again. (puts on his scouter) Augh, I just got here and this planet's already annoying me. "Hey, could be worse." Nora said, (sees another space pod approaching Namek) Wait a minute, is that Cui's pod? "How can you tell?" Ruby asks, (begins to walk forward) Well, I better go take care of this.

KRILLIN: -AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (gasps for breath)

GOHAN: Ya done, Krillin?

KRILLIN: Yeah... I'm good.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 1: Hey! What's that over there?

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAAAAAAA- (continues to scream in the background)

How'd his hat get back on his head?" Jaune questions with confusion.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: In the name of Frieza, we demand that you stop!

KRILLIN: -AAAAAAHHHHH! Wait, haven't I heard that name before?

"And now the hat's disappeared again. Is it magical?" the blond leader continues to question.

"Jaune, there's no such thing as magic, reguardless of it being of Remnant or on some other planet." the heiress reasoned.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: Alright, stay where you are and we'll shoot you.

KRILLIN: Don't you mean "Or we'll shoot you?"

"No, I think they meant and..." the lotus ninja mentions.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: We know what we said! (fires a shot at the spaceship, with Bulma jumping out of the way)

TOILET: Scheiße!

Nora laughed out loud as the toilet sweared as it exploded.

(Bulma manages to avoid the explosion, but the spaceship is now immobilized as it has a visible hole, causing the front window to crack)

KRILLIN: Huh. Well there goes our ship.

BULMA: (off-screen) What the f**king hell?!

FRIEZA SOLDIER 1: Damn, man, you couldn't hit the broad side of a space barn.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: Yeah, well, that's only because I'm too busy hitting the broad side of your mom! (gets punched by Gohan) Gah! My face!

"Sadly, that was the best response so far." Blake coments.

(Krillin kicks the other soldier, making him collide with the soldier Gohan attacked and into a lake)

KRILLIN: Hah! Looks like they're all... washed up! (Gohan gives a blank stare) Yeaaaaaaaahhhhh... da da da da da, oh...

(Krillin Owned Count: 11)

Yang slowly claps her hands in response to Krillin's pun.

BULMA: I can't believe this... We're stranded on an alien planet... It's like "Pitch Black" only our Vin Diesel is a total bitch...

"But at least this is better than Pitch Black." jaune says like he's trying to cheer up Bulma.

KRILLIN: It might be best if we get ourselves out of the open. (notices a cave) Hey, look, a cave! (points towards the cave) See Bulma, isn't this nice? A nice dark, dank... cave?

(the cave is heard making a roaring noise)

BULMA: Who knows? Maybe here I'll finally meet a real man.

"Who can knock you up then leave you?" the four-time champion questions.

"That sounds... oddly specific." the ginger girl comments.

KRILLIN: What about Yamcha?

"Haha, no." Ruby chuckled.

BULMA: A real man...

"Exactly." Ruby's big sister agrees.

GOHAN: Hey, uh, Krillin, do you feel that?

"Pure evil... yes I do feel that." Weiss said as she thinks of her... bastard of a father.

KRILLIN: What? The need to pee? Well they destroyed the toilet so I guess I'll just use a bush or... (sees something flying in their direction) OH, MY GOD, GET IN THE CAVE!

(a large group of soldiers fly past Krillin and co., who are hiding in a nearby cave)

GOHAN: Krillin! They have the Dragon Balls!

KRILLIN: Yes, Gohan, I noticed.

GOHAN: Did you feel their power levels? They were as strong as Vegeta!

KRILLIN: Yes, Gohan, I noticed!

GOHAN: But that one guy at the front, he was like a hundred Vegetas...

KRILLIN: YES, GOHAN, I NOTICED! On the bright side, I no longer have to pee anymore! Lemme go change in the cave...

"Gross." the scythe-wielder said while everyone agrees with her, excatly Weiss and Jaune.

(shows a time card that says "10 Minutes Later". Krillin is seen walking out of the cave and catching his breath)

BULMA: Geez, took you long enough.

"Wonder what he was doing for those 10 minutes." the blond brawler winked.

KRILLIN: We're going after those Dragon Balls.

BULMA: Whoa, what?

KRILLIN: We may be outmatched... but we didn't come this far just to give up!

BULMA: What the heck happened in that cave?

"You'll find out." she continues to wink.

KRILLIN: Something I should have taken care of a month ago. (removes his hat)

"What is that white stuff on your... oh." Pyrrha was about to ask but now relises what Yang was refering to, said brawler now has the biggest shit-eating grin on her face.

GOHAN: ...I don't get it.

"Neither do I." Ruby said.

"You will when you're older, trust me." Blake reashores her team leader.

KRILLIN: Come on, Gohan! Bulma, stay here and call Roshi back on Earth. We may need backup. Stay close, Gohan!

"MAY need backup?" Weiss wanting to make sure she heard him right.

(Krillin and Gohan dash away)

BULMA: Well, I guess I better set up camp then. (runs inside the cave)...

"Here it comes..." Yang throws her hand up with three fingers extended out then one went down, then another and the last one went down that formed a fist.

BULMA: OH, GOD, IT'S EVERYWHERE!

"And, Krillin would make a greathentai protagonist..." everyone looks at her with concorn while Weiss is covering Ruby's ears, "Not that I'd know about that anyway."

(scene shifts to Kame House with the music "I'm Too Sexy" playing in a radio. A phone rings and Master Roshi answers it.)

MASTER ROSHI: Kame house, where the beaches are fine and the bitches are finer! "Why is he not wearing pants?" Nora question, Could you speak up? I'm not wearing pants.

"They are his very special hearing aids." the hammer-wielder notices.

(shifts to Wukong Hospital showing Master Roshi, standing next to a nearby nurse, reporting to Goku about the current situation on Namek)

MASTER ROSHI: And not only is Vegeta on the planet, but apparently someone else is there, even stronger than him! So in short, s**t be wack, yo!

GOKU: Fo' shizzle, Master Rizzle! I can't do anything until I'm fully healed though! If only there were a way...

YAJIROBE: Hey there, I thought I'd just drop in with these magical Senzu Beans that heal all wounds and restore your stamina.

GOKU: ...If only there were a way--

MASTER ROSHI: Take the damn magical beans, Goku!

"But they're bland and tastless and don't taste like bacon!" RWBY's leader acting like Goku.

"Stop being so childish Ruby." the heiress said while remaining calm.

GOKU: Ooh! Sweet science-y magic!

("Spinach Theme" from "Popeye" plays as Goku eats a Senzu Bean, jumps out of the hospital bed and tears off his bandages)

GOKU: Naked time! (strips and puts on his fighting gi) All right! 'Kay guys, I’m going to Bulma's place! (Yajirobe gives Goku the remaining Senzu Beans) By the way, takin' the beans.

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin?

GOKU: Krillin.

"Figures." the cat Faunus sighs.

MASTER ROSHI: But... why Bulma's?

GOKU: Well, I need a ship, and Bulma's dad's a scientist.

MASTER ROSHI: ...I'm not even gonna begin to go into what is wrong with that... and just wish you good luck!

"Smart guy equals rocket scientist, got it." JNPR's leader simplifys.

GOKU: Niiiimbuuus! Later guys! "WHY DO YOU NEED A CLOUD?! yOU CAN FLY!" Weiss complains, (jumps out the window) Nimbus? Nimbu-- Oh-God-oh-crap-oh-geezus--

(smashes into ground causing a car alarm to go on off-screen.)

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DOOOODGE!" Nora joins in with the shouting.

"Someone's gonna need another Senzu." Pyrrha comments.

GOKU: (in pain off-screen) I'm okay... (Nimbus can be heard showing up off-screen) Oh... There he is.

MASTER ROSHI: *sigh*

(scene shifts to Planet Namek with Cui waiting foe Vegeta's arrival)

CUI: (tracking Vegeta with his scouter) Hello there, Vegeta. Fancy meeting you here.

VEGETA: So you followed me? Sure took your sweet time.

CUI: Well, I could have gotten here sooner, but I stopped on my way to plow YOUR mother!

VEGETA: ...My mother's dead.

CUI: I know!

"So you plowed a dead person? Weird." Jaune mentions.

"Necrophila... how 'bout that." Ren comments.

VEGETA: ...You know, I'm having trouble remembering, Cui. What's your power level?

CUI: Ha! You would forget! 18,000. Same as yours, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Funny that. See, I just read my Official Saiyan Handbook (holds up said book and starts reading a page) and it says right here "When a Saiyan is beaten to near death, their power level increases immensely."

CUI: Well I don't see what that has to do with anything--

VEGETA: And while I was down on Earth, oh man, I got destroyed!

CUI: Ha ha ha! You... What?

VEGETA: Yep. All by a low level warrior, his half-breed son, a midget, and an obese man with a sword. I lost outright.

"So Goku, or Kakarot, Gohan, Krillin, and Yajirobe." Blake simply refers.

CUI: Why are you telling me this? You never tell anyone this!

VEGETA: Easy. Because I know you'll never tell anybody, Cui.

CUI: (bewildered) But... But I hate you! Why would I-- (gets blown up by Vegeta) WAAAAAH!

"That's why." Yang smiles.

VEGETA: God, I love therapy.

"And we love you... no homo." Yang continues to comment.

(scene shifts to Zarbon's scouter getting destroyed by detecting Vegeta's power level)

ZARBON: Oh my, I seem to have gone off prematurely.

DODORIA: Well, hell. Looks like Vegeta just took out Cui. Poor fish-faced bastard.

ZARBON: Wait, which one was Cui?

DODORIA: You remember. Purple guy, hated Vegeta.

ZARBON: Gonna have to be a little more specific.

DODORIA: Reproduced asexually.

ZARBON: Oh, him. Ew! You know I wouldn't have minded so much if he wasn't all up in my face about it. I can only swallow so much.

FRIEZA: Will you two pay attention? (shows a group of Namekians) These innocent bumpkins won't slaughter themselves.

ZARBON: Well you might be able to find a way to make them.

"That'd be something to see." the ginger-haired girl commented with a siniser smile.

FRIEZA: Oooh! That'd be fun! Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!

NARRATOR: A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies? (Gohan and Krillin are seen surveying the situation on top of a ridge) And do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? "Of course they don't" Weiss bluntly states, The answer to these questions will be revealed... right now! Zarbon, Dodoria, Frieza, and (camera shows Krillin) ohhh my, no!

KRILLIN: Wait, what--

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to King Kai's planet in Other World)

"Oh, I completely forgot that they died." Ruby honestly stated.

KING KAI: Alright, now that you have arrived on my planet we will begin your training. Tenshinhan, Chiaotzu, twenty laps around the planet. Piccolo...

"Considering the planet size, is that even good excerise?" Jaune questions and Pyrrha stated that it is.

PICCOLO: Go to hell, I'm meditating.

KING KAI: Keep doing that. Yamcha...

YAMCHA: What is it, King Kai? I'm ready for anything!

KING KAI: Wash my car.

YAMCHA: Oooh! Like in that movie! Wax on, wax off!

KING KAI: (walks into his house) Yeah, go wax off.

"What movie is he refering to?" Ren asks and no one knows what.

"Ok, that felt longer than the previous ones." Weiss comments.

"Well, episode 12 was like ten minutes long sooo..." Ruby replies, "on to the next one." she asks and everyone response with a 'yes'.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shows Gohan and Krillin on top of a cliff, overlooking Freeza with his men interrogating a Namekian village)

KRILLIN: Alright, Gohan, keep your power level down.

GOHAN: Well I'm trying, but I can't seem to get it as low as yours, Krillin.

KRILLIN: But I haven't eve-- I mean... yeah. Like me.

"Good save." Blake sarcastically stated.

GOHAN: Krillin, look! The Dragon Balls!

KRILLIN: Whoa, those things are huge! AC/DC be damned. Geez. These aliens are scary. Especially that one in the front. Looks like a total F.A.G.

"WOAH MAN!" Yang shouted as she covers Ruby's ears.

"Yaaang~, can you please stop doing that?" the crimsonette asks as.

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What? A Freaky Alien Genotype. What'd you think I meant?

"Less offensive." Weiss noted.

GOHAN: Oh, I thought you were calling him a derogatory term for homosexual.

KRILLIN: THAT THING'S A GUY?!

"Way to be stealthy." Jaune joked on.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shows Dodoria turning his head and looking upward, facing the direction where Krillin and Gohan are hiding)

DODORIA: Hm? What was that?

(Krillin and Gohan are seen ducking; trying not to get spotted)

KRILLIN: Um... (off-screen) Quack!

DODORIA: Oh, it's just a space duck.

"I can't believe he fell for that." Pyrrha said with little shock of how Krillin inpersonated a Oum damn duck.

MOURI: Who are you?

FRIEZA: Hello. Allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Frieza, and we're a traveling improv group. Here, let me give you a demonstration. My men shall play a group of drunken sailors, and you're a bunch of baby seals. Aaaand, go. (Zarbon murders two Namekians) Aaand, scene.

"Eh, 6 out of 10." the blond bombshell snarked.

"How can you joke at someone killing others for their own sick amusement?" Ren questions with concorn.

"Trust me, it's how she copes." Ruby answers.

MOURI: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people?

FRIEZA: Well, you see, I was just in the area and I thought this would be a delightful place for a summer home-- what the f**k do you think I’m here for?

MOURI: ...Our trees?

FRIEZA: ...Zarbon, two or three more.

ZARBON: Two or three more?

FREEZA: Two or three more.

(Zarbon murders two more Namekians)

FRIEZA: Very good, Zarbon. See, why can't you be more like him, Dodoria?

DODORIA: Sorry. Just listening to the space duck.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Quack! Quack!

The huntser chuckled at Krillin's continous quacking.

DODORIA: What a majestic creature.

FRIEZA: Now, then, all kidding aside... Where's the Dragon Ball?

MOURI: We don't have it.

FRIEZA: You know, I'd be inclined to believe you if the last village elder didn't say the exact same thing... until we killed everyone and tortured the information out of him, of course. It's the darnedest thing, too... You're beginning to remind me a lot of him.

"Doesn't help that a lot of the Namekians look the same." Nora commented.

"Nora! Don't be offensive." Ren warned.

MOURI: Please. Do not be upset.

FRIEZA: Oh, I don’t get upset. I have people to do that for me. Dodoria?

"What about when you run out?" Blake wonders.

DODORIA: With gusto.

(Dodoria places the two Dragon Balls he is currently holding on the ground. Both Dende and Cargo cling onto Mouri while Dodoria stands up. Mouri glares at Dodoria, preparing for the worst, before Dodoria's scouter starts beeping.)

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Stop right there!

(three Namekian warriors arrive at scene)

FRIEZA: Oh, look, more baby seals.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: We're here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people.

"Oh great, heroic speeches." the cat Faunas sighs.

"Like he hasn't heard those a lot." the heiress comments.

FRIEZA: Ninety-two...

"Only 92, your slippling..." said Nora.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: This has gone on for too long. And now, you're going to pay.

FRIEZA: Three hundred and fifty-five...

"That's... better."

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: We are... We... What are you...?

FRIEZA: No, go on. Continue. Don't mind me.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: And... We are the ones who will stop you.

FRIEZA: Ooh, wow. Four hundred and nineteen.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: That's... (record scratch) What the hell are you doing?!

FRIEZA: Oh, sorry, it's a little hobby of mine. I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often. So I've started keeping a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: You... You insane bastard.

FRIEZA: One hundred and ninety.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Yeah? Well, uh, we're going... to... F**K YOUR FACE!

"Bold boast for a species that can't fuck." the blond brawler winked with a shit-eating grin.

FRIEZA: Ohoho, my! Twelve.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: (growls in anger)

FRIEZA: Zarbon, give the command.

ZARBON: Dodoria, give the command.

DODORIA: Get 'em.

(Frieza's soldiers begin charging at the Namekian warriors. The Namekian warriors seem to have the upper hand as they take down some of Frieza's soldiers one by one.)

GOHAN: Krillin, we have to help them!

KRILLIN: Gohan, we need to stick to the plan. Quack!

GOHAN: What plan? You just keep quacking over and over.

KRILLIN: And we're still alive!

"Yes, but for now Krillin, for now." JNPR's leader mentions.

(The Namekians warriors continue to fight off Frieza's men)

ZARBON: Sir, they seem to be stronger than we thought.

FRIEZA: Oh, how cute. They can hide their little power levels.

(explosion occurs with the scream of an unlucky soldier)

DODORIA: Kinda killing our guys.

FRIEZA: Oh, we have more of those things back at the ship. It's not like we’re losing anything valuable.

(Mouri destroy Dodoria's scouter along with a scouter lying on the ground and a scouter from a dead soldier)

FRIEZA: (closes his eyes and groans)

MOURI: Hah! Now you can no longer find our villages!

FRIEZA: Dodoria. Kill them.

DODORIA: 'Kay.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Come on, bring it! There's three of us, and one of you!

DODORIA: Man, you must suck at math even worse than me.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: What do you mean?

DODORIA: There’s only TWO of you.

NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: That’s not right... (gets impaled by Dodoria) Gaaaaaah!

"It is now." Ruby corrects.

(scene shifts to Capsule Corporation with Goku arriving and jumping off Nimbus)

MRS. BRIEFS: (throws a watering can) Goku! It’s been too long!

GOKU: Hi there, Mrs. Briefs!

MRS. BRIEFS: Oh, Goku, you can call me what everyone else calls me.

GOKU: What’s that?

MRS. BRIEFS: MILF. I have no idea what it means, but it’s just the cutest little name.

"You should better search the meaning, not you Ruby." Pyrrha said as she saw Ruby on her Scroll about to search the meaning of the word, while the scythe-wielder cursed under her breath.

"Uh, I'm not going to read that out loud." Weiss said with hesitantion.

"I'll read it," Blake snaching Wiess' Scroll, "okay so, a milf is 'a sexually attractive older woman, typically one who has children,' huh. Why does that feel like its describing my mom?"

"What was that?" Yang asked as she appears next to her partner.

"NOTHING!!!" the cat ninja shouted in shock and fear.

DR. BRIEFS: Well, you are quite the MILF, honey. "He's probably the one who started it." said Ruby, Now what are you doing out of the kitchen?

MRS. BRIEFS: Oh, my mistake!

DR. BRIEFS: Remember what I told you, sweetie:

DR. and MRS. BRIEFS: Wives are for kissing, not talking! (both of them start laughing while Goku looks absentmindedly)

MRS. BRIEFS: Have fun, you two!

GOKU: (entering the spaceship) Wow. Is this the ship?

DR. BRIEFS: Well, Bulma told me to start on it while you were in the hospital. In case anything went wrong.

GOKU: Krillin?

DR. BRIEFS: Krillin. "Of course" Everyone said in unison, The good thing is it’s almost all done.

GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever!

(Scene shifts to Planet Namek with Dodoria headbutting a Namekian warrior into a cliff, killing him. Mouri looks in horror at his fallen comerade.)

The hunter trainees jumped back in their seats when the scene changed.

"Pest control in action." Nora giggled.

DODORIA: Whoops. Looks like I miscounted. I must be having an off day.

FRIEZA: Bravo, Dodoria. (to Mouri) Now, seeing as we have no one left to threaten you with... (notices Dende and Cargo) Oh, wait. what are those adorable little things over there?

MOURI: You wouldn't...

"Oh I believe he would..." Jaune betted.

FRIEZA: They're just so cute, though. I could just pinch their little heads off. "Literally, punch them off." the blond leader continues, Are you going to make me do that? Because at this point I could go both ways.

ZARBON: As could I, Lord Frieza.

"... What?" everyone asked confusingly.

MOURI: (handing Frieza the Dragon Ball) Fine. Here. Take the ball. And leave us be.

KRILLIN: (one of Frieza's henchmen is seen taking the Dragon Ball) See, Gohan? He's handing over the Dragon Ball. Now no one else has to die.

FRIEZA: Oh, just one more question. Could you point us in the direction of the next village? You seem to have destroyed our scouters.

MOURI: That wasn't part of our deal!

FRIEZA: And five hundred! (Dende and Cargo start to run away) Dodoria, show them what they've won!

(Dodoria fires a mouth blast at Cargo, killing him. Mouri, Krillin, and Gohan are all horrified at what they had just witnessed.)

"You were saying, Krillin?" Ruby asked with little anger in her voice.

GOHAN: Krillin, he's killing them!

KRILLIN: Happy thoughts, Gohan! Happy thoughts!

"Dammit Krillin!" Weiss cursed out loud.

MOURI: You... You killed my son!

DODORIA: Yeah, sorry about that. How 'bout I do you a favor? (disappears)

MOURI: Huh? (Dodoria appears behind Mouri and murders him by snapping his neck)

DODORIA: There. Now you won't miss him.

H-how nice of him." Pyrrha stuttered in fear.

(Gohan is starting to become angry)

FRIEZA: Oh, and while you’re at it, could you deal with the rest?

(Dende turns around and starts to run away, but Dodoria easily cuts off his escape. Gohan is seen trying to control his anger)

DODORIA: I really do love kids. They don't leave much of a mess.

KRILLIN: (trying to calm Gohan down) Breathe, Gohan. You're a leaf... A leaf in a calm stream...

GOHAN: (pissed) F**K THE STREAM!!! (leaps from the cliff)

"HOLY GRIMM!" everyone within RWBY's dorm shouted out at Gohan's outburst.

DODORIA: The hell was...

(Gohan kicks Dodoria in the face, sending him flying into a Namekian house)

DODORIA: Did I just get hit by a bowl cut?

(Krillin kicks Dodoria in the face and grabs Dende)

KRILLIN: Quack! (both him and Gohan fly away)

FRIEZA: Zarbon... What the hell was that?

ZARBON: I believe that was the space duck, sir.

(scene shifts to planet Earth with an outside view of a Capsule Corp. spaceship)

GOKU: (walking around inside the ship) This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?

"Wait, what?" Ruby questioned as soon as Goku asked.

DR. BRIEFS: There is no button like that. I never even considered that.

"Its built in?" she continues to ask.

GOKU: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink. Wink.

DR. BRIEFS: Dammit, there is no muffin button!

"And I want one," the crimsonette requested, "Also a button that makes cookies too."

GOKU: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs?

DR. BRIEFS: Goodness no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine!

GOKU: But... But I don't even drink coffee!

DR. BRIEFS: It's not coffee, Goku, it's cappuccino. "Sooooooooo, no coffee?" the ginger-haired huntress asks, Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. Make sure not to touch anything, like the gravity controls. Or the Start button. The Start button. Don't touch... the Start button. Now I'll be right back. (leaves the ship)

"Enjoy banging your head on brick wall." Yang joked.

GOKU: Okey Dokey. "What could possibly go wrong?" Jaune questions, (after a short pause) I wonder if this is the button. "Of course he does it." Weiss sighs, (pushes the Start button, causing the ship to takeoff into space) WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

DR. BRIEFS: No! Goku! He's blasted himself off into space! What has science dooone?! Sweetie, I do not see a sandwich with that beer.

"That man really needs to sort out his priorities." the Mistral champion comments.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's spaceship flying towards the sun)

GOKU: (from inside the spaceship) Mmmm, those muffins smell like they're almost done!

"So Dr. Briefs lied about the muffin button." Blake stated.

"Clearly." confirmed Weiss.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shifts to inside the spaceship with Dr. Briefs appearing in a small screen)

DR. BRIEFS: Goku!

GOKU: Hi, Dr. Briefs.

DR. BRIEFS: Goku! What have you done? You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you... (notices Goku holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?

GOKU: Muffin button.

DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...

GOKU: Then where did I get this muffin...?

"The mystery muffin from nowhere?" Pyrrha questions as she giggles at her attempt of a joke.

DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Goku. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.

"Why would he even set it to do that?" Weiss questions.

"For convenient purposes like these." Ruby answers.

GOKU: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!

DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!

But he has Senzu Beans." Jaune debunking Dr. Briefs statement.

GOKU: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!

DR. BRIEFS: Goku, wai--!

(Goku pushes a button to turn off the TV)

GOKU: ...I like his mustache.

"It could possibly rival Proffesor Port's stache." said Yang.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Dodoria rubbing his face from Krillin's surprise attack from last episode)

DODORIA: (groans as he gets up)

ZARBON: Are you all right over there?

DODORIA: Yeah. Little bastards just hit me outta nowhere.

ZARBON: Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to take a hard one to the face.

"Oh my..." the blond brawler laughed.

FRIEZA: Good to see you're still conscious, Dodoria. Oh, and just so you know, it's not a big deal or anything, you might want to get right onto this one, but THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!

DODORIA: (flies after Gohan and Krillin) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, the latter holding Dende, flying through the sky)

KRILLIN: Not gonna lie, Gohan, not your brightest move.

"At least he did something other than quack off." Weiss snorted.

GOHAN: Oh come on, Krillin, we have a two mile lead on him. Factoring in our speed and velocity and his mass, there's no way he should be able to catch up...

(Dodoria shoots a blast at them)

KRILLIN: Well, look who's wrong!

GOHAN: There's always room for error!

(Gohan and Krillin dodge all of Dodoria's blasts before he fires another blast that grazes Krillin, making him drop Dende)

KRILLIN: (thinking while diving after Dende) Oh dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, damm--

DODORIA: (grabs Krillin's ankle) Oh no you don't!

(scene shifts to Frieza and Zarbon in a deserted Namekian village)

ZARBON: How do you think Dodoria's doing up there?

FRIEZA: We're talking about one of my finest soldiers. There's no way that they'll escape Dodoria's grasp...

(scene shifts back to battle with Krillin headbutting Dodoria to break free of his grasp)

DODORIA: God dammit!

"They escaped his grasp." Nora stated.

(scene shifts back to Frieza and Zarbon)

ZARBON: But what if they have any tricks up their sleeves?

FRIEZA: Come now, Zarbon. We both know Dodoria would never let them out of sight...

(scene shifts back to the battle with Krillin preparing to a Solar Flare)

KRILLIN: Solar Flare! (blinds Dodoria with an image of Frieza taking a shower being briefly seen)

DODORIA: (covering his eyes) Goddammit!!

"And he lets them out of his sights." Blake continuing Nora's bluntness.

ZARBON: Still, sir, we have to remember that Vegeta is on the planet.

FRIEZA: Oh, please. Like Vegeta could even lay a hand on Dodoria.

(scene shifts to Dodoria flying in the sky before getting attacked and knocked out of the sky, flying straight into the water)

DODORIA: GOD DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

"and Vegeta lays a hand on Dodoria." Ruby finishing the hyper ginger and cat Faunus statements.

(Dodoria falls into the water and comes up gasping for breath, confronted by none other than...)

VEGETA: 'Sup, bubblegum?

DODORIA: Vegeta! You got some serious balls to get the drop on me.

VEGETA: Funny you should mention that. I just happen to be looking for a set.

DODORIA: Well, look at you, Veggie. All grown up and out on your own. Trying to move up in the world.

VEGETA: And look at you. Packing away more bacon than Hormel.

DODORIA: Very funny. But you won't be laughing when Frieza finds your scrawny ass. So how 'bout I make you a deal? You hand over that pretty red scouter, and maybe I won't point Frieza in the right direction.

"Looks more pink than red." Pyrrha corrected.

VEGETA: (holds his scouter in his hand) Oh. You mean this scouter?

DODORIA: That's right.

VEGETA: Well, I'd be inclined to give it to you, but, you see, there's a problem with it.

DODORIA: And what would that be?

(Vegeta crushes the scouter with his foot)

VEGETA: It's broken.

DODORIA: Blagh! You fool! Now you're as blind as the rest of us.

VEGETA: Not quite. See, while I was on Earth, I learned a new trick. I can sense energy.

DODORIA: How the hell'd you do that?

VEGETA: Uuhna.

DODORIA: Wait a minute! I get it now! Those little bastards I was chasing were Earthlings! You sent them to lure me away from Frieza!

VEGETA: I'm sorry, but at this point, all I hear is, "Hit me Vegeta! Please kill me! God, this armor makes me look fat!"

DODORIA: THAT'S IT!!!

(Dodoria begins firing a couple of blasts in Vegeta's direction)

DODORIA: MOUTHY! LITTLE! PRICK!

VEGETA: (appears behind Dodoria unharmed) Where ya aimin', dugong?

DODORIA: Uggghhh! (swings a punch at Vegeta, who effortlessly catches his arm)

VEGETA: (jumps as Dodoria tries to spin kick him) Uppsy-daisy! (grabs Dodoria's other and pulls both of them behind his back)

DODORIA: Aaaaaah!

VEGETA: Any last words, before I take you apart like a pink potato head?

DODORIA: W-Wait! I can tell you what really happened to your planet!

VEGETA: You mean that Frieza blew it up?

DODORIA: No, thatFriezablewitup...! What?

VEGETA: Really should have told Frieza to keep off the Twitter.

(shows a shot of Frieza's SpaceTwitter page)

(Vegeta begins tightening his grip on Dodoria)

DODORIA: Please. Don't kill me. I beg ya. Don't kill me-e-e.

VEGETA: Look at you, Dodoria. You were always so damn proud. And now here you are, crying like a woman!

DODORIA: I AM a woman!

VEGETA: Wh-- What?

"Huh?" everyone asked at once.

DODORIA: I said I AM a woman.

HUH?" they continue to ask.

VEGETA: WHAT?!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, who is once again holding Dende, in the sky after escaping from Dodoria)

KRILLIN: Well, good thing I was there to get us out of that one.

GOHAN: Well, yeah, but... Why didn't you use your Kienzan?

"Good question, Gohan." Ren congratulated the Saiyan hybrid.

KRILLIN: Hey, look, I even saved this thing! Can you fly, little guy?

DENDE: My name is Dende. (starts flying in the air) And yes, we all learned when we are children.

GOHAN: You know, you should probably stick with us.

DENDE: Considering it is either that, or going back to meet the same fate as my brother and father... I am weighing my options...

KRILLIN: I like you! I'm gonna call you Little Green!

DENDE: My name is Dende.

KRILLIN: Come on, Little Green, let's go introduce you to Bulma. (everyone starts to fly away)

(scene shifts back to Vegeta, with darkened eyes, listening to Dodoria's speech)

DODORIA: ...And that's why I was considered the most beautiful—and fertile—woman on my home planet. Before Frieza blew it up.

VEGETA: He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.

Even the hunters agreed with Vegeta's reaction.

DODORIA: So now you know the truth, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Yes, I do. And now I'm going to start repressing the truth! And the first step is killing you.

DODORIA: W-w-wait! You and I, w-we could team up against Frieza! Rule the universe as husband and wife.

VEGETA: Repressing in 5... (Dodoria is seen being panicked) 4... 3... (Dodoria begins to flee) 2... 1... (fires an energy wave at Dodoria, obliterating "her") Aaaand repressed.

"Well, that's one boss down." the blond leader said while referencing video game logic.

(scene shifts to Gohan, Krillin, and Dende arriving at the cave where Bulma is hiding)

GOHAN: Krillin, that's the cave!

KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma. You clean up in there? We have guests.

(a roaring sound is heard from inside the cave)

DENDE: I do not think I want to go in there.

KRILLIN: Ah, don't worry... That's just Bulma.

DENDE: I do not know what this "Bulma" is, but it sounds needy.

(the trio are seen in front of a capsule house)

KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma, open up!

(Bulma opens the door)

BULMA: Hm? Well, if it isn't Mr. Super Soaker himself. What happened? Got tired of abandoning me and found something else to abandon?

KRILLIN: (as Dende is seen hiding behind a rock) Bulma! You’re scaring Little Green.

DENDE: I am still weighing my options.

BULMA: Oh, by the way, my dad called earlier. He says Goku's on his way here.

KRILLIN: WOOHOO!

BULMA: Aaand he'll be here in six days.

"Dawn, fast ship." Nora commented.

KRILLIN: WOOHOO-- awww... Well, good thing I took out that life insurance policy.

DENDE: Mr. Gohan? Those things on that person's chest. (referring to Bulma's boobs) What are they?

The girls in the dorm slightly blushed at what Dende was questioning.

GOHAN: Oh, on Bulma? Those are breasts.

DENDE: They look lovely. I wish to nestle between them.

They blushed even more at the little Namekian's comment.

KRILLIN: ...You are just adorable.

"I agree." the crimsonette said.

(Scene shifts to an outside view of Frieza's ship. Frieza is seen inside on the Space Skype talking to Captain Ginyu.)

FRIEZA: Oh, no, no, Ginyu. We won’t need any assistance. We have this all under control.

ZARBON: (from the other side of a door) Lord Frieza, I wish to enter.

FRIEZA: Oh, pardon me. I have to take this. Ta-ta! (shuts down Space Skype and descents to the ground) What is it, Zarbon?

ZARBON: Well, sir, the scout has reported back.

FRIEZA: Good. So Dodoria has eliminated those pests, then?

"Define 'Eliminated'." the heiress asks.

ZARBON: Well... that's just it... It turns out... "she's" dead.

FRIEZA: ...The f**k?!

The hunters laughed at Frieza's response of Dodoria's death.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's ship flying through an asteroid field)

GOKU: Now, before I start training... I need the right music to train to. Let’s see here. (pushes a button)

(Paul Stanley's "Live to Win" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Stan Bush "Never Surrender" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Team America's "Montage" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

"I kinda like some of these bits of music, especally if it for training purposes." Yang commented.

 

(Lazy Town's "Cooking By the Book" plays)

"Oum dammit Goku." Most of the hunters groaned

GOKU: Yaaay!

(spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)

"That has to be the most stupidest music chooses ever. Of all time." Jaune said as his friends and teammates agreed with him on that statement.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shows a Namekian village with a large group of villager outside)

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #1: And that’s the story of the Great Drought. (children laugh)

"Great Drought? Sounds like a horrifing event." Blake stated as her friends noded in agreement.

(Vegeta is seen landing in the middle of the village)

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #2: Hey look, a visitor!

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #3: Oh, boy! We love visitors!

NAMEKIAN ELDER: Now, now, don't crowd the young man. Why, hello, good fellow! Welcome to our fine village! You look like you're not from around here. "What gave it away, the Hair?" Yang joked, You have to be careful; word through the grapevine has it that some unruly characters have been going around and attacking our villages. By the way, would you like to see our Dragon Ball? "Dammit old Namekian Krillin." Jaune cursed out, It's our prized possession; sacred on this planet. So, what brings you to our village?

(Vegeta is seen smirking)

"Yep they're fucked arlight." Nora bluntly stated.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Vegeta walking away from a destroyed village, showing many deceased Namekians on the ground and the sound of a fire burning off-screen along with the voice of a Namekian screaming in pain)

VEGETA: Life sure has a way of working itself out. I find Cui, I kill Cui. I find Dodoria, I kill Dodoria. I find this Dragon Ball, (throws the Dragon Ball into a lake) I take this Dragon Ball. Let's see what else I can find... (leaves the destroyed Namekian village)

(scene shifts to Krillin)

KRILLIN: Sweet crap! Did you feel that Gohan?!

GOHAN: Uh yeah, but... maybe we shouldn't--

KRILLIN: Man, Vegeta just ended that village!

GOHAN: Krillin, seriously, you--

KRILLIN: I didn't think he needed to kill them either; they didn’t even put up a fight.

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What? I-- (looks behind himself and notices Dende who is completely shocked) Oh, cripes. Um... Hey, listen. They may be dead now, but they've all gone to a better place... Heaven. Where everyone has their own little house, and everything is wonderful, and we all get along and there's puppies and kitties and--

DENDE: This sounds totally asinine.

"It is." Weiss groans.

KRILLIN: It totally is...

GOHAN: Hey guys, I think I might have an idea. Frieza and Vegeta need all seven Dragon Balls, right? So what if we just found one and hid it away? Then neither of them could make their wish.

"That's... actually a very good idea." Ruby hesitanted to say.

"Good work Gohan, you get a star." Ren congratulated.

KRILLIN: Hey, good idea! But we also need someone who can help us out. Little Green...

DENDE: Dende.

KRILLIN: ...do you know anyone on this planet who might be able to do that?

DENDE: I know of one... person. He is called the leader of our people; the eldest Namek. It is said long ago when our planet faced a great drought, he led our people through the peril. It is said that it was terrifying.

GOHAN: The drought?

DENDE: No...

"What followed it?" the heiress mentally questions.

KRILLIN: Well Gohan, looks like this is our only choice. Stay here and protect Bulma.

BULMA: Oh, now you care.

KRILLIN: I'm gonna follow Little Green to meet this eldest Namek guy. He sounds like he's our last hope. (flies away with Dende)

DENDE: Please do not make jokes.

(scene shifts to Zarbon flying through the sky)

ZARBON: Frieza seems increasingly frustrated... I'd best find Vegeta quickly...

(flashback to Zarbon's last conversation with Frieza)

FRIEZA: You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think my people don’t understand what I pay them for.

ZARBON: You don't pay us.

FRIEZA: (stammers quickly) Allow them to live for. I mean, first we lose... what was his name?

ZARBON: Kiwi?

FRIEZA: Eh, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit Space Mexico.

"I just put a wall up there." Nora joked. (A/N: I'm sorry if you are offended by this joke, i deeply apologies.)

ZARBON: What would you want me to do, Lord Frieza?

FRIEZA: What I want you to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a...

(flashback ends abruptly)

VEGETA: (rushes at Zarbon) PANSY!

ZARBON: Wha--? (both he and Vegeta collide in midair) Vegeta, how dare you ram into me while I'm thinking about Lord Frieza and my thong!

"Come again? On second thoughts, please don't." Blake was about to question but stopped herself after asking.

VEGETA: Yeah, just going to ignore that one entirely.

"Join the club." Ren agreed.

ZARBON: But it is a good thing I found you, Vegeta. Now are you going to come quietly, or do I have to make you scream?

VEGETA: Oh, you mean like Dodoria?

ZARBON: Oh please, never send a woman to do a man's job.

"You knew!?" the hunter trainees shouted out in surprise.

(Vegeta disappears and reappears behind Zarbon. Zarbon tries to throw a punch at Vegeta, but he easily blocks it by gripping his hand and tosses Zarbon into the sky. Before Zarbon can retaliate, Vegeta appears above him and sends him down to the ground with a kick. Zarbon manages to recover from the attack and notices that Vegeta is gone.)

ZARBON: Where is he?

(Vegeta is seen behind Zarbon and kicks him away. Zarbon is heard groaning as he is sent across the ground)

VEGETA: Facedown with another man beating your ass! Is it Wednesday already, Zarbon?

ZARBON: Very cute, Vegeta. But you have no idea what you're getting into.

VEGETA: Ha! You have got to be kidding me! I may have lost to those fools on Earth, but since I got here, I've done nothing but slaughter you cretins! First Cui, then Dodoria. I'm two for three, and I'm back on top.

ZARBON: Well, Vegeta, I hope you've enjoyed being on top because I'm about to put you back on the bottom; where you belong. You see, I’ve been hiding another side of myself...

VEGETA: Where, in the closet?

ZARBON: Now prepare yourself...for the beast within! I should warn you though; this form is entirely different from me in every way.

(Zarbon transforms into his Monstrous form)

MONSTROUS ZARBON: IMMA RAPE YA, BITCH!!!

VEGETA: To be perfectly honest, you're not that different. You're just a lot lesssubtleaboutit-- (Monstrous Zarbon rushes Vegeta) OH, MY GOD!

(Monstrous Zarbon easily dominates against Vegeta and proceeds to headbutt him multiple times)

"That looks like it hurts." Ruby said with worry.

"It would." Yang confirming her baby sisters worries.

VEGETA: (while getting headbutted multiple times) POIT! Zort--! Apples...

(scene shifts to Krillin, while holding Dende, flying in the sky)

KRILLIN: Huh. Hey, Little Green, do you believe in Karma?

DENDE: What is that?

KRILLIN: Well, you see, Karma is where if you do something good...

(shows a shot of Monstrous Zarbon kicking Vegeta in the stomach)

VEGETA: OURGH!

KRILLIN: ...something good happens to you. And if you do something bad...

(shows a shot of Monstrous Zarbon knocking Vegeta down from the sky)

VEGETA: GAAAH!

KRILLIN: ...something bad happens to you.

DENDE: So, if I am good enough, then I can have my family back?

KRILLIN: ...Are you still on about that?

(scene shifts to Monstrous Zarbon holding Vegeta while plummeting towards the ground)

VEGETA: No! No! No! No! No! (Zarbon tosses Vegeta while in midair) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Vegeta hits the ground, creating a massive explosion forming a huge crater that gets filled with water)

MONSTROUS ZARBON: And that's the end of that.

(Monstrous Zarbon transforms back to his normal, beautiful form)

ZARBON: I'd best hurry back to Lord Frieza. If I take too long, he'll really lay into me. (flies away back to Frieza's ship)

(a battle-damaged Vegeta is seen emerging from the water, barely surviving Zarbon's attack)

VEGETA: (while gasping for breath) Why did I explode?

"For comedy?" Pyrrha wounded.

(scene shifts to Krillin and Dende arriving at Guru's house)

DENDE: That is it up ahead.

KRILLIN: So that's where yours lives, huh? On Earth our old Namek lives in a floating castle.

DENDE: You have one as well?

KRILLIN: Well, he died, but yeah. (both Dende and Krillin descend in front of Guru's house)

DENDE: This does not bode well.

NAIL: (in Namekian/Klingon) Dende... ...what have you brought to Guru's house?

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon) Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned.

KRILLIN: You have such a beautiful language.

"Some nerds can speak it... so yeah." JNPR's leader said.

"Sounds like you learnt from experience." the Mistral champion asked.

"Well, when you've been to some comic book conventions you tend to learn from different peoples interests."

NAIL: (in Namekian/Klingon) Ah, seems we must speak the universal language... (in English) English.

"Well, this is convenient." Blake sarcastically stated.

KRILLIN: Aww, so you made a friend, Little Green? Ooh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!

NAIL: Call me that again and I’ll snap your neck.

KRILLIN: ...With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.

NAIL: Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe--

GURU: (from inside his house) BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...

NAIL: (irritated) Oh... (groans) goddammit... What is it, Lord Guru?

GURU: I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee-- (notices Krillin) Nail, there is an albino Namekian standing behind you. Kill it like the rest.

KRILLIN: Uh, actually, sir, I'm from Earth.

GURU: ...Kill it like the rest.

KRILLIN: Uhhh...

NAIL: Ehh, actually sir, I think he has business here about those people attacking our planet.

KRILLIN: Yeah. We came here looking for help. And I see you have a Dragon Ball up there. Well, we're going to make sure that they don't steal it!

GURU: And how is that?

KRILLIN: I'm gonna take it!

NAIL: Learn your place, Earthling! You have some nerve demanding a Dragon Ball from--

GURU: (hands Krillin the Dragon Ball) Here, take it.

NAIL: I... What?

GURU: Just don't steal the TV.

NAIL: Sir, we, uhh, we don't have a television.

"But, you are aware that there's an invention called television." Weiss groaned with confusion.

GURU: Nail... gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.

NAIL: Lord Guru, that would be a grievous misuse of their powers.

GURU: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heaaaaaad!

KRILLIN: So... I can just take this and go?

GURU: Wait. There is something I must first do.

NAIL: You don't mean...

GURU: Yes. I see something within this young man… strength yet untapped… power yet unleashed… Now hold still as I unleash the valley of strength hidden deep withiiiiin! (unlocks Krillin's hidden potential) There. I have unlocked your potential.

KRILLIN: I don't feel that different...

GURU: It wasn't that much.

KRILLIN: Huh. So this is my full potential?

GURU: Yes.

KRILLIN: So... then it's...

GURU: All downhill from here.

KRILLIN: Like Yamcha...

GURU: I do not know what this "Yamcha" is, but it sounds disappointing.

"You have no idea." Ren groaned as Nora giggled.

KRILLIN: Well, I better get this Dragon Ball back to Gohan. Once we find them all, we can wish back our old Namekian!

GURU: Wait. You said that you were from Earth, correct?

KRILLIN: Yeah.

GURU: So, the son of Katas has passed. Unfortunate.

KRILLIN: We just called him Kami.

GURU: Oh, so he calls himself God. Pretentious prick. Nail.

NAIL: What.

GURU: I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.

NAIL: Yes, Super Kami.

GURU: No wait-- Super Kami Guru.

NAIL: Can I just call you Guru for short?

GURU: Super Kami Guru allows this.

KRILLIN: Well, I'd better hurry up. See you later, Little Green! And thanks for the Dragon Ball! (leaves Guru's house and flies back to Gohan)

GURU: Nail... Prepare to retrieve the Dragon Ball... and the body.

(scene shifts to Frieza's ship with Zarbon entering Frieza's room)

ZARBON: Lord Frieza, the dirty deed has been done.

FRIEZA: Ah, very good. It's nice to see there's still somebody I can rely on.

ZARBON: Oh, he barely put up a fight after I transformed. Now that he's dead we have very little left to worry about.

FRIEZA: (opens his mouth) Zarbon, about an hour ago, a scout informed me that an entire village was completely destroyed. Do you possibly know who could have done that?

ZARBON: Ve-- Vegeta.

FRIEZA: Aaaand, unlike all the other villages we visited so far, there was no Dragon Ball there. Do you know who could have possibly taken it?

ZARBON: Vegeta.

FRIEZA: Veeeery good! Now, use your brain for this one, Zarbon. If somebody were to know where that Dragon Ball was, who would it be?

ZARBON: Vegeta--

FRIEZA: Vegeta, yes. And you said you... killed him?

ZARBON: Wait, sir! It is possible I just left him unconscious!

FRIEZA: Oh, good. And where did you leave him?

ZARBON: ...At the bottom of a lake...

FRIEZA: ...Minion forty-three, would you come in here for a second? I need an example.

NAMOLE: Private Namole reporting. An example of what, Lord Friez-- (gets blown into atoms)AAAAAAAHHHAAAH!

The hunters jumped back in their seats as they witnessed someone killing their own men. Ruby, Pyrrha, Jaune and Weiss were the most devestated are mentally scarred from the scene.

FRIEZA: You see that, Zarbon? That's you if Vegeta is not in front of me in the next ten minutes.

ZARBON: Uh...uuuhhh...!

FREEZA: Bye.

ZARBON: (flies out of Frieza's ship) AAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to King Kai's planet)

"Oh, I completely forgot about them." Yang snorted.

KING KAI: I have to say I'm very impressed. All of you have been making great strides in your training since you arrived on my planet. Except for Yamcha.

YAMCHA: What the hell?! But I waxed off everything! I waxed off your car, I waxed off your house, I even waxed off your monkey!

PICCOLO: Okay, I just started paying attention, what?

YAMCHA: Seriously, when are we going to learn the Kayo-ken?

KING KAI: ...What?

YAMCHA: The Kayo-ken, King Kai!

KING KAI: "Kai"... o-ken.

YAMCHA: What?

KING KAI: KAIO-KEN!!! It's in my f**king name! Like "King Kai", as in "Kaio-sama"! That is it! None of you are learning any of my techniques! Neither the Kaio-ken nor the Genki Dama!

TIEN: ...Freaking weeaboo....

"I mean, if someone said your name, weapon, or Semblance wrong, woundn't you be a little pissed about it?" the cat Faunus questions.

"If they continue to keep requesting for it while continuing to say it wrong, then yes." Some of the hunters agreed.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

ZARBON: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to a darkened sky with Vegeta somehow acquiring all seven DragonBalls and summoning Shenron)

NARRATOR: Last time on DragonBall Z Abridged...

VEGETA: Finally! I’ve gathered all seven Dragon Balls!

SHENRON: State your wish.

"How did you know about Shenron?" Ruby asked with worry.

VEGETA: Dragon! Grant me immortality!

SHENRON: Your wish is granted. (eyes start glowing red)

"We know its a dream cause Shenron isn't being a smartass." Nora commented.

VEGETA: Yes! I've done it! I'm finally the strongest in all the universe! WAH HA HA HA HA HA!

"Apparently immortality equals strength." Weiss studied based off Vegeta's rambuling.

(cuts to Vegeta lying on the ground, unconscious and with Zarbon beside him checking his pulse)

"Well, shit." Nora cursed under her breathe so that Ren coundn't hear her.

VEGETA: (groggily) I am unstoppable...

ZARBON: Oh, how cute, he's having a little dream.

VEGETA: (groggily while twitching his left foot) Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

ZARBON: Now let's get you back to Lord Frieza. I need to... probe you for information.

"Uh oh!" Ruby gasped.

(Zarbon starts flying while dragging Vegeta)

VEGETA: (groggily) My power is maximum...

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to an outside view of Frieza's ship and then inside with Appule playing Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 3 while Vegeta is seen inside a healing tank)

"What is he playing?" Pyrrha wonders, "Jaune, any ideas."

"I don't know, I don't even know the games title, besides it being a fighting game like 'Soaring Ninja'." the blond leader stated.

APPULE: (while playing as himself and beating up Bardock) Take that, you bastard! This one's for Eachpe!

ZARBON: (entering the room) Report!

APPULE: (turns off video game) Ah... I just... I'm just checking... his vitals.

"Yeah, that what you checked." Yang giggled.

ZARBON: Is he going to make it?

APPULE: Well, it's a good thing you got him to me when you did. Even a little later and we might not have been able to save him.

ZARBON: Why isn't he naked?

APPULE: Luckily, we... What?

"Sounds hella gay." the hammer-wielding hunteress chuckled.

ZARBON: In the healing tank, I always thought you needed to be nude.

APPULE: Wha-- Why would you think that?

"Because he's a perv." Weiss sighed.

ZARBON: You know, to... absorb all the healing juices.

"The Saiyan's spooge has been really helpful." Blake sarcastically groaned.

(Appule gives Zarbon a blank stare)

ZARBON: Well, looks like you have everything under control here! (quickly takes his leave)

APPULE: Freaks me the f**k out...

"Us too dude." Jaune sighing as he understands Appule's situation.

(a whistling sound is heard along with the sound of someone tapping a microphone)

GHOST NAPPA: Is this thing on? (tapping sound of a microphone is heard again) Is it on? (Vegeta gurgles) Okay, there we go. A-Ha-Hem! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.

"Well that's some wait to wake someone up." the crimsonette said.

VEGETA: (starts growling inside the healing tank)

APPULE: You know, Vegeta, I got to admit, it was pretty impressive how you went all manhunter on us. But now, you're all ours. And I can't wait to watch Zarbon break you like a glow sti...

(Vegeta awakens and the healing tank starts to light up with energy)

APPULE: (in his thought while getting engulfed by the light) Here I come Eachpe!

"See you in HFIL." Yang chuckled.

(cuts to Frieza's throne room)

FRIEZA: (speaking to Captain Ginyu in the Space Skype) And I want you here in twenty-four hours, understood? And make sure to bring the up-to-date scouters.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Understood, Lord Frieza.

ZARBON: Lord Frieza, I really need to use the Space Skype.

FRIEZA: Zarbon, what could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt me during my call?

ZARBON: Well, I need to call my girlfriend.

FRIEZA: Well, I... "The Grimm?" Blake cursed out loud, (glances over his shoulder in shock) Ginyu, I'll call you back. (disconnects Space Skype and drops back down to floor level) Come again?

"I feel like you shouldn't have asked him." Weiss stated with worry.

ZARBON: You see, our one-year anniversary is coming up, and I want to see where she wants to go so we can make reservations early.

FRIEZA: Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were... never mind.

"He still could be bisexual." Yang suggested.

ZARBON: What? You thought I was single?

FRIEZA: Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.

ZARBON: Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was--

ORAN: Lord Frieza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing (gets blasted by Frieza) TAAAAANK!

FRIEZA: Oh no, that minion died. "How? By giving him mouth-to-mouth?" Jaune questions, Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never.

"Smooth." Ruby sarcastically called out.

ZARBON: ...Did he say something about Vegeta?

FRIEZA: What?

(an explosion occurs off-screen)

ZARBON: Ahhh!

FRIEZA: Zarbon... Who did you leave guarding him?

(cut to the wrecked lab and what's left of Appule)

FRIEZA: Appule?! You left Appule here?!

ZARBON: Well I thought he could handle it!

FRIEZA: Appule couldn't handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less Vegeta! Oh, where's the damn phone, I need to make another call.

ZARBON: Yes, sir! I'll go look for Vegeta, he won’t get far! (flies out of the ship and searches for Vegeta)

(cuts to Vegeta entering Frieza's room, which shows five unguarded Dragon Balls)

VEGETA: (thinking) Yes, that's right, search all over for me, Zarbon. Of course you'd never think to check inside your own ship! "Thats Frieza's ship actually." Nora corrected, You know what they say, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. (starts laughing)

RANDOM MINION: (off-screen) Lord Frieza, I found him!

VEGETA: Ah, f**k it. (fires a ki blast, blasting a hole through the ship)

RANDOM MINION: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(cuts to outer space, with five space pods seen flying to Planet Namek)

FRIEZA: (through speaker) Ginyu, hurry up; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one!

ZARBON: (through speaker) Lord Frieza, Vegeta’s really giving us a pounding!

FRIEZA: (through speaker) I’m coming, Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls! (turns off speaker)

Everyone exploded into laughter from Frieza's phrasing.

(short pause before the Ginyu Force starts laughing hysterically)

(cuts to Vegeta blasting a hole through the window of Frieza's throne room and starts tossing all of the Dragon Balls out of the ship)

VEGETA: (to the tune of "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts")
♪I've got a lovely bunch of Dragon Balls, do-do-do-do-do♪
♪Here they are, all sitting in a bunch, doo-doo-doo♪
♪One star, two star♪
♪All as big as my head!♪
♪Give them a toss♪
♪A planet across♪
♪That's how Vegeta wins, bye-bye!♪ (leaps out of Frieza's ship)

"That sounded like a really good song." Yang commented while some of the others agreed with her, except Weiss.

(cuts to Frieza and Zarbon arriving at the throne room)

FRIEZA: Dammit all to hell, he's gone! And he took off with my Dragon Balls!

ZARBON: Lord Frieza, I’ve found a note! (holds out a note)

FRIEZA: Let me see that! (sees the note) It just says "Dear Frieza", and it's a picture of a butt.

ZARBON: ...Can I see it, Lord Frieza?

FRIEZA: Vegeta. Dragon Balls. NOW!!!

ZARBON: (flies out of Frieza's ship) Yes sir! (thinking) Dammit, he's up here somewhere! I just need to spot the bastard!

(cuts to Vegeta's head sticking out of a lake)

Vegeta: (in his thoughts) Later, bitches.

(sinks into the water, making submarine noises while doing so)

(cuts to Goku inside his spaceship)

GOKU: Whew! It's taken me five whole days, but I'm finally up to a hundred times gravity! It's a good thing that I brought along all these Senzu. Aww, man, it looks like we only have four left. Oh well, we won't need that many on Namek. (eats one Senzu Bean) "Dammit Goku." the heiress sighed, Om nom nom! Mmm, tastes like healing!

"But wouldn't healing taste bland and tasteless?" the scythe-wielder questions.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Hello, Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is George Takei again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass.

GOKU: King Kai?

KING KAI: (telepathically) Ah, there you are, Goku. (cuts to King Kai observing Goku's spaceship from his planet) I see you're on your way to Namek.

GOKU: I'm gonna beat someone up!

KING KAI: Of course you are. But listen! There is someone on Namek that you must absolutely stay away from. You hear me? He’s even stronger than Vegeta, and he--

GOKU: I know!

KING KAI: What?

GOKU: I'm gonna beat him up!

KING KAI: Goku, no. This is nothing like Vegeta; it is much, much worse.

GOKU: Uh-huh...

KING KAI: He is known throughout the galaxy as the most terrifying and evil person there is!

GOKU: Really?

KING KAI: He's conquered hundreds of planets, and slaughtered billions of people!

GOKU: (excited) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"Dammit Goku." Yang groaned.

KING KAI: STOP IT! Stop—getting—excited! Now promise me you will not fight him!

GOKU: (telepathically off-screen) Ooo, I can see Planet Namek! (neon buzzing sound is heard) Naw, wait, naw, it's fake.

"Even Goku know not to trust signs." Ren said as he looks at Nora while she sticks her tongue out.

KING KAI: Goku! Seriously! Promise me that under no circumstance will you go anywhere near Frieza!

GOKU: But King Kai, I...

KING KAI: PROMISE ME!

GOKU: Aww, all right. I promise I will absolutely not... Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

KING KAI: What the...

GOKU: (gasp for breath) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... (continues telepathically off-screen)

"How stupid do you have to be to be fooled by Goku?" the four-time huntress asks.

KING KAI: He... He hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?! Dammit, I'll call him back! (tries to contact Goku but no avail) Goku, I swear to God, I will ride your ass on this one!

GEORGE TAKEI: (telepathically) Oh my...

KING KAI: Dammit, Takei!

(cuts to Vegeta emerging from underwater and gasping for breath)

VEGETA: All right. They should be here somewhere. Aha! They're here! They're all here! Perfect. Now I have six, counting the one I have hidden near the village. All I have to do now is stay under the radar and not fly around like a jackass saying...

KRILLIN: (flying while holding a Dragon Ball) I've got a Dragon Ball! (flies past Vegeta's location)

VEGETA: I was gonna say "Come and get me, Frieza," but that works too! (starts to purse Krillin)

(cuts to Zarbon desperately looking for Vegeta)

ZARBON: This is useless! I'm never going to find him like this! I might as well hide under a rock. Maybe Lord Frieza won't find me if I just lay low and don't fly around like a jackass saying...

VEGETA: (flying after Krillin) Come to papa, you bald bastard!

"Wow, Vegeta doesn't even go with his own plan." the cat Faunas states.

ZARBON: I was going to say "Come and get me, Frieza," but that works too! (starts to pursue Vegeta)

(cuts to Bulma reading a magazine and humming the ending theme from Dragon Ball before Krillin lands in front of her)

BULMA: (stumbles and falls on her back) (quickly speaking) SON OF A BITCH!

KRILLIN: Huh. I thought you'd be back in the cave.

BULMA: Well, I would if I didn't keep finding puddles of--

KRILLIN: Yeah, yeah, I know, in the cave, get over it. Besides, I brought us a Dragon Ball.

BULMA: Oh, wow. They're much bigger than the ones on Earth.

KRILLIN: Yeah, Gohan and I were pretty surprised too when... we... (notices Gohan is missing) Wait, where is Gohan?

BULMA: Oh, he took the Dragon Radar. We found a Dragon Ball that was all on its own.

KRILLIN: Wait, what?

(cuts to Gohan flying in the air and holding a Dragon Ball)

GOHAN: I've got a Dragon Ball!

KRILLIN: You let Gohan go out on his own?

BULMA: Yeah... What’s the big deal?

KRILLIN: Do you have any idea what Chi-Chi will do to me if he gets hurt? I like my penis where it is, thank you.

BULMA: I still don't see how this is my problem.

KRILLIN: Uh... Oh, we'll just have to wait for him here, then. At least we have a Dragon Ball!

(Vegeta lands on the scene, finally catching up to Krillin)

VEGETA: Hi there. I'm taking your Dragon Ball.

KRILLIN: (terrified) Uh... Care to trade for one of yours?

VEGETA: How 'bout NO.

KRILLIN: You drive a hard bargain...

(Zarbon appears on the scene)

ZARBON: Who drives it hard now? Hmm. (flicks his long hair behind him)

VEGETA: Oh, I thought I smelled body glitter...

ZARBON: (to Krillin) You, the short one over there. Give me the Dragon Ball.

KRILLIN: Um...

VEGETA: Not so fast, he's handing the ball over to me! (to Krillin) Right, baldy?

KRILLIN: Uh... Bulma? A little help here?

BULMA: (referring to Zarbon) Oh, my God, he's so hot! I just wanna grab him and...

(cuts to Goku doing upside down curl ups in his spaceship)

Some of the hunters-in-training chuckled at the scene cutting to another.

GOKU: ...sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-...

(cuts to back to Vegeta on Namek)

VEGETA: ...one time you've defeated me, Zarbon. And that's one time too many!

ZARBON: Nothing's changed, Vegeta. The last time we fought you were barely alive when I retrieved your body.

VEGETA: That... reminds me... Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious?

ZARBON: Did... (narrows his eyes) Did I what?

VEGETA: Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious?

ZARBON: What?! No! God, no!

VEGETA: Oh, thank God! I j... (eyes widen) Wait, what do you mean by that? Am I not good enough for you?!

"Why would you ask that?" Jaune asks in confusion.

ZARBON: All right, Vegeta, I'm going to be totally honest with you. This is sounding really gay.

"And that comming from the F.A.G." the blond bombshell comments, "And before you say anything, I mean 'Freaky Alien Genotype'."

VEGETA: What, I... What are you...

ZARBON: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

"No there isn't." Nora notes.

VEGETA: (seen totally defeated and embarrassed) Just... Just transform, damn you.

BULMA: We're going to have a penthouse suite... (Zarbon starts to transform) ...and he'll drive a Corvette, and we'll make love every single--

(Zarbon fully transforms into his monster form)

BULMA: (in complete shock) KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

"I don't think it would be enough." Pyrrha suggested.

MONSTROUS ZARBON: You've made a huge mistake, Vegeta! Now prepare to die!

"What happened to his armour?" Ren questions.

(Zarbon starts charging at Vegeta, the latter responding by punching a hole in the former's stomach)

MONSTROUS ZARBON: (groans in pain)

VEGETA: What was that? I couldn't hear you over that hole I made in your stomach!

MONSTROUS ZARBON: But... Vegeta, please... Just give me a chance... We could work together...

VEGETA: Yeah, yeah, I've heard that bit already. Now let me put this in a way you'll understand: I’m about to blow my load all over your insides.

"OH MY!" Yang, Pyrrha and Jaune said in unison.

MONSTROUS ZARBON: What... the...

VEGETA: No homo.

(Vegeta blast a hole through Zarbon's stomach, sending the latter flying and falling into a watery grave)

VEGETA: (narrows his eyes) Freaky Alien Genotype...

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cuts to inside Guru's house)

DENDE: Guru, sir, I have a question.

GURU: Ask away.

DENDE: You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?

GURU: I am this many. (does not move)

DENDE: You didn't raise your hand.

GURU: That's how old I aaaaaaaam!

The hunters laughed at Guru's quote of how old he is.

(shows of shot of Zarbon's monster form)

BULMA: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

"Yes, kill it indeed." Ruby said while grinning evilly.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

VEGETA: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Zarbon's corpse falling into a lake, Vegeta killing him in cold blood)

KRILLIN: Wow. You really took care of that guy.

VEGETA: Yeah, didn't even know I could pull that off. But... you know us Saiyans, we get stronger every time we almost die.

KRILLIN: Well... that seems... incredibly unfair. So, um... you seem like a busy man, so...

VEGETA: Oh yeah, killing people, and I'm about to become immortal.

KRILLIN: Well, we don’t wanna keep ya, so I guess we'll be seeing ya!

VEGETA: Yep! And I still got a lot to take care of and I... Ohohohoho! Ohhh, wait a minute, nice try. Gimme the Dragon Ball.

"Good try Krillin." Ren responded with respect.

KRILLIN: Aww... (gives Vegeta the Dragon Ball)

VEGETA: Ya know, I could kill both of you right now,  but after killing Zarbon and getting this last Dragon Ball, I'm in a good mood; I mean a REALLY good mood. But just remember this: next time you see me, I will be immortal... Not that you stood a chance to begin with. I'm just... Saiyan. (canned laughter plays in the background) Wakka wakka! (flies off)

Yang laughed at Vegeta's pun and exiting while her teammates and sister groaned at said pun.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Krillin and Bulma after Vegeta has taken off with the DragonBall)

BULMA: Well, congratulations. You've single-handedly doomed us all.

"Oh, like you would have done any better." Jaune sassed.

KRILLIN: I didn't see you do anything.

BULMA: What exactly did you expect me to do?

KRILLIN: Well I dunno, maybe you could've bitched at him, how 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your bitch-fu on him? "Bulma, the Mistress of Bitching", that's what they should call you...

(cuts to Vegeta and Gohan, each of them holding a DragonBall, flying in the sky)

VEGETA & GOHAN: (both of them singing in their thoughts in the tune of "Don’t Stop Me Now" by Queen)
♪Don’t stop me now, having such a good time♪
♪I'm holdin’ this ball♪

♪Don’t stop me now...♪

(both Vegeta and Gohan senses each other and stops singing)

"Aw, and I was about to sing along with them too." Nora cried out.

"Maybe next time Nora." Wiess reassuring the ginger-haired girl.

VEGETA & GOHAN: What the...?!

GOHAN: That's Vegeta... (in his thoughts) Uh, I know! (flies down and hides behind a cliff) If I just hide here and lower my power level, he shouldn't find me!

VEGETA: Okay, what the hell is going on? I know I just sensed something down there.

GOHAN: (thinking) Good! Now just go on and...

VEGETA: Hey! Show yourself before I turn this place into a barren wasteland! So basically the same, only on fire.

GOHAN: (thinking) Crapbaskets!

VEGETA: (begins charging a ki blast) Three... Two... One...

(prepares to blast the area before...)

GOHAN: (pops his head up) Hi! Um... hello... Mr. Vegeta... sir.

VEGETA: Oh, well if it isn't Moe Howard.

GOHAN: How do you even...

VEGETA: Space Hulu.

GOHAN: Figures.

"Of course." Blake sarcastically states.

VEGETA: So what are you doing here?

GOHAN: Oh, you know, just... flying around.

VEGETA: Flying around?

GOHAN: Flying around.

VEGETA: Thwarting my plans?

GOHAN: Thwarting your plans?

VEGETA: Are you?

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: Good, 'cause that'd be bad.

GOHAN: How bad?

VEGETA: I'd have to kill you.

GOHAN: That's bad.

VEGETA: Indeed. (notices Gohan holding the Dragon Radar) Stupid-looking watch you got there.

GOHAN: (hiding the Dragon Radar) Yes... it tells time... and nothing else.

VEGETA: Well, yeah, that's what a watch DOES. (rolls his eyes) ...Dumbass.

"I can't believe that the 'Prince of All Saiyans' not think that Gohan can track Dragon Balls." Pyrrha sighed.

"Yeah, me neither." Weiss agrees.

GOHAN: So, uh, can I... help you?

VEGETA: (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... but maybe I can help you.

"I don't like were this is heading." Ruby shivers into her hood.

GOHAN: Uh... I need an adult...

VEGETA: I am an adult. (knees Gohan in the stomach)

GOHAN: UNNGH! (falls over and holds his stomach in pain)

"Oh, that's a dick move, even for someone who's spost to be royality." JNPR's leader notes.

"Just because he's royal, doesn't mean he'll play fair. Trust me, I've learnt from expereince." Weiss said with hestitation and fear as she spoke.

VEGETA: By the way, I only hit you because I have pent-up aggression against your father. Take that. (flies away)

GOHAN: (thinking) Don't... stop me now... I don't... wanna... stop at... allllll... (stumbles and falls off cliff)

(cuts back to Krillin continuing his rant on Bulma)

"Is he still going?" Ren asks.

"Apparently so." Yang confirms.

KRILLIN: ...Seriously, five ancient sages of Bitchdom all gathered together one day on the peaks of Mount Bitch to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the bitch stars had aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH! Uhh...

BULMA: Ya done?

KRILLIN: Yeah... yeah, I guess.

BULMA: Good. (hits Krillin off-screen)

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Ow!

(Gohan arrives with the Dragon Ball)

GOHAN: Guys!

KRILLIN: Gohan!

GOHAN: You guys, I think we should find a new location.

KRILLIN: Why? What's wrong with this place?

GOHAN: Because we have 10 minutes before Vegeta finds out that I just stole this.

(Krillin gives off terrified, high-pitched whimpering noises as Gohan smiles sweetly)

(cuts to Vegeta jumping inside a lake to retrieve the last Dragon Ball he had taken from a Namekian village)

VEGETA: (thinking) God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it’s mine. "And at least three aneurysms." Weiss noted, Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here.... riiight here. (searches around for the missing Dragon Ball) Where the hell is it? It couldn’t have gone anywhere. Alright, I'm going to close my eyes, (closes eyes) and when I open them up, it’s going to be right here... (opens his eyes) it's not here. Why isn't it here!? I don't get it! Who could have--! (remembers that Gohan was near the place where he hid the Dragon Ball) The kid! But... how could he have found it!? He would... Wait! (remembers Gohan holding the Dragon Radar) That watch... That watch was no watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator. (starts clenching his fist) Which means... Which means...

(Ghost Nappa appears with a ping)

GHOST NAPPA: (deadpan) He tooook the Dragon Ball.

Nora laughed at Nappa deadpaning Vegeta while said prince had the face of angry and fury.

(cuts an outside shot of the lake with Vegeta bursting out of the water, blasting off into the distance after Gohan)

VEGETA: (eyes are seen bloodshot) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...!

The hunters jumped back in their seats a bit while laughing at Vegeta's rage being broken.

(cuts to Gohan and Krillin flying in the sky)

GOHAN: (hears Vegeta's scream) Uh, Krillin. do you hear that?

KRILLIN: I feel that.

(cuts to Frieza's ship)

FRIEZA: (hears Vegeta's scream) What the devil is that noise?

(cuts to Goku, in his ship, still flying through space to Namek)

GOKU: (going through a fridge) Ahh, time for a delicious sports dri-- (takes out a sports drink and hears Vegeta's scream) Huh? What the heck is that?

"How can that be possible, space is a vaccuum?" Weiss questions in confusion.

"Seems that Vegeta's rage can break the laws of space..." Blake commented.

(cuts to Earth's Check-In Station in the afterlife)

KING YEMMA: (flipping through a book) Purgatory... Hell... (hears Vegeta's scream) Denise? Denise, do you hear that? Oh, God, is that my wife? LEAVE ME ALONE!!! YOU ALREADY TOOK THE KIDS; WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!

"The mahogany desk?" Ruby joked about.

"...the boundaries between life and death..." the cat Faunus continues.

(cuts to the 20 years later in a ruined future in an alternate timeline)

TRUNKS: Alright, mom. Once that time machine is done, I can go back into the past, to save Goku, and my father-- (hears Vegeta's scream) Daddy?

"How the hell did his vocal cords not rupture?" Nora asks with confusion.

"...and what I assume time itself." RWBY's resident ninja finishes.

(cuts to Krillin, Gohan, and Bulma finding a new hiding place from Vegeta)

KRILLIN: Alright, I don't think Vegeta will find us here. Gohan, I need to get you to Guru's.

GOHAN: What? Why?

KRILLIN: So the old man can touch you and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.

"Really should've worded that better." Pyrrha noticed.

GOHAN: ...I need an adult?

KRILLIN: I am an adult.

BULMA: Oh, no! No, no, NO! I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!

KRILLIN: Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return... we're letting you watch the Dragon Ball. Bye! (flies away with Gohan)

BULMA: I WILL KILL YOU BOTH IN YOUR SLEEP!!!

"And then Chi-Chi would kill you." Jaune backfires.

(cuts to Frieza's ship)

FRIEZA: (thinking) As soon as the Ginyu Force arrives, all of my problems will officially be over. Soon, immortality will be mine and the entire universe will be under my foot. "It isn't already?" Nora questions, I wonder what I should do first? I guess I should start with what I WON’T do when I become immortal: Die!

"Good idea." the crimsonette said.

"That's the hole point of being 'immortal', Ruby." the heiress argued.

ACAI: Lord Frieza, the Ginyu Force is scheduled to arrive in five minutes.

FREEZA: Thank you, Acai.

ACAI: Also, after rising concerns with our personnel... exploding, we decided to form a union!

FRIEZA: ...Adorable. (fires an eye blast at Acai)

ACAI: RRRAAGGGH!!!

"Should probably change that to spontaneously combusting." the Mistral champion notes.

"Well, vaporising isn't technically exploding." the bow-wearing girl corrects.

FRIEZA: (thinking) Oh! First thing I'm going to do is go up to Cooler and slap him right in his smug, prick face!

"Wait, who's Cooler?" Ruby asks.

"I believe he was in one scene of that Bardock special episode." Weiss reminds.

"But who IS he though," said Ren, "is he Frieza's brother, his father, an unliked uncle?"

"If he's an uncle, then he won't win 'uncle of the year', that belongs to my Uncle Qrow." Yang states with pride and Ruby agreeing with her.

(cuts to Krillin and Gohan flying in the air)

GOHAN: (notices Guru's house from a distance) Hey, Krillin!

KRILLIN: That's it! We're going to make it. We're finally gonna-- (hears Vegeta scream and stops flying) ...die. We are going to die.

GOHAN: Krillin, what is that?

KRILLIN: Pure rage, Gohan. Pure rage.

GOHAN: What do we do?

KRILLIN: Run, Gohan. Run as fast as you can!

GOHAN: But I--

KRILLIN: DO AS I SAY, FOR I AM THE HEAVENLY BUDDHA!

GOHAN: ...What--?

KRILLIN: Just go!

(Gohan flies away to Guru's house)

(cuts to Guru's house)

NAIL: Guru, sir, we have another traveler from Earth.

GURU: Oh, tell me you didn't let him inside.

GOHAN: Hello, Mr. Guru.

GURU: Oh, goddammit!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Guru's response of Gohan being infront of him.

GOHAN: Mr. Guru, sir, my friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.

GURU: Do I look Catholic to you?

"Ouch." Nora winced at Guru's comeback.

NAIL: Sir, I think he means he wants you to release his hidden potential.

GOHAN: Yeah, that.

GURU: Fine, stand still. (places his hand on Gohan's head) It's your first time, so I'll be gentle. Now relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.

"Does Namek just make you lose all filters between your mouth and brain?" Jaune wonders.

GOHAN: I... need an adult?

GURU: I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (unlocks Gohan's hidden potential)

The huntsmen and huntress trainees giggles at Super Kami Guru's long response as he powers up Gohan.

(cuts back to Krillin)

KRILLIN: (thinking) Huh, that’s odd. I don’t feel anything anymore. Wonder if we lost him?

(Vegeta dashes past Krillin and stops in midair. His eyes are bloodshot as he has gone crazy from his blind rage.)

VEGETA: (delirious) I am here for it...

KRILLIN: (scared) For what?

VEGETA: Dragon... Ball. I... need... that Dragon Ball. Give it to me. The one you took. I need my wish...

KRILLIN: Are... you OK?

GHOST NAPPA: I think your rage broke, Vegeta.

"Ya think!?" Jaune cried out in fear.

VEGETA: SHUT UP, GHOST OF NAPPA!!!

KRILLIN: What was that?

VEGETA: I'M NOT CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! ESPECIALLY YOU, NAPPA!

GHOST NAPPA: Eeeeey.

KRILLIN: Who are you talking to?

VEGETA: Dragon Ball! Hand now, please.

KRILLIN: Um, I don't... really... have it.

(a blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red)

Everyone in the room were grossed out by Vegeta's right eye bleeding but also scared of what might happen next.

VEGETA: No...

KRILLIN: What?

VEGETA: (right eye starts dripping blood) Noo...

KRILLIN: Uh...

VEGETA: (slowly starts approaching Krillin; both eyes now bloodshot red) Noooo...

KRILLIN: (whimpers in fear)

(Vegeta continues approaching Krillin, then suddenly feels Guru powering up Gohan and snaps out of it)

VEGETA: Huh, wait, what? Where am I? (to Krillin) Why are you here? Where's Nappa?

"Wait so, he doesn't remember anything during his 'rage-mode' was active?" Yang asks with curosity and wonders if that's ever happened to her when she discovered her Semblance.

"It appears so, yes." the cat Faunus analysised.

KRILLIN: Didn't you kill him?

VEGETA: Yes. Of course I did. He's dead... forever.

KRILLIN: So, uh....

VEGETA: Where's that immense power coming from?

KRILLIN: (quickly) Oh, that's probably Gohan over in the hut with the creator of the Dragon Balls is. You know, the guy who can unlock your potential by putting his hand on top of your head-- Oh, God, I cannot shut up when I am scared...

"I hope he doesn't do that when they have to fight Frieza." Nora similed.

"Why does it sound like you jinxed it." Ren looks at her with concern.

VEGETA: Interesting. I'm gonna pay him a... What do you call it?

KRILLIN: A visit?

VEGETA: Beating! That's it. I'm gonna go pay him a beating.

KRILLIN: Aww! Crapbaskets.

"Oh, he says that too." Ruby noticed.

(Vegeta flies off and lands in front of Guru's house)

NAIL: Hello? Can I... help you with something?

VEGETA: Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.

NAIL: Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'Cause I really hope it is.

VEGETA: (laughs) Trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.

NAIL: Then come on, bring on all four feet of you. Or should I count your stupid hair?

"That's not nice. He's at least four and a half feet tall at least." the blond brawler comments with an offensive tone.

"How and why would you know that?" the four-time huntress asks with worry and confusion.

VEGETA: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.

NAIL: Big talk coming from a bipedal bitch

VEGETA: (laughs) Oh, I gotta admit, you are the best challenge I've gotten out of your people yet... Then again, I have to compare you to are those villagers I slaughtered.

NAIL: Oh, you are DEAD!

Vegeta: You’re about to be dead in the matter of 10 minutes

GURU: Naaaaaail! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like, (makes gagging and slurping noises)

NAIL: (sarcastically) Thank you, Lord Guru!

VEGETA: I'm not here for any of you idiots anyway. I'm here for the old man.

GOHAN: (walks out of Guru's house) Oh no, you don’t! With this power-up, I'm now as strong as you were when we fought on Earth.

VEGETA: Congratulations! You're still weaker than the last three guys I killed.

GOHAN: Wow... I now know what it's like to feel like Krillin.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Sucks, doesn't it?

"At least he's not as weak as Yamcha, who dead from one explsion." Jaune reminds everyone in the room.

VEGETA: Look, it doesn't matter how strong you get, kid. Besides Frieza, I'm the strongest thing on this planet! Bar none.

GURU: Hey! Just thought I would inform you all. I detect several high power levels coming towards the planet.

VEGETA: What? Several high power levels?

GURU: There are five of them in total.

VEGETA: Five of them!?

GURU: And they're all incredibly flamboyant!

"How can you tell from power levels?" Blake wonders in confusion.

VEGETA: Oh, God, it's them!

KRILLIN: What are you talking about?

("Sanjou!! Ginyu Tokusentai!!" starts playing in the background)

VEGETA: We're doomed... Don't you understand? We're all going to die here!

KRILLIN: Who? Who is it?

VEGETA: It's... the Ginyu Force...

(The Ginyu Force's space pods are seen arriving on Planet Namek, producing a huge explosion making the screen red)

GINYU FORCE: We’re heeeeere...

JEICE: ...mates.

"That was a little creepy at first," the scythe-wielder honestly states, "but the 'mates' just reined it."

"I agree with you on that Ruby." Blake and Jaune nodded.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Goku wearing boxer shorts with a towel around his neck opening a refrigerator)

GOKU: Whew! Alrighty! Time for a post-workout drink. (takes out a beer) Nah, it’s too early to get crunk. (puts beer back and holds up a Powerthirst energy drink) Nah, energy drinks just don’t do it for me anymore. (puts sports drink back and takes out a bottle of peanuts) I can't drink these! These are nuts! Yang laughted at the pun as everyone else groaned, (puts peanuts back and holds up a Team Four Star Soda) Oooh, what's this? It looks delicious! And it's high in calcium!

GOKU & SINGERS: Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Team Four Star soda!

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

GULDO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to the Ginyu Force's space pods slowly opening up with the Ginyu Force flying up in front of Frieza)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Men, Introductions. (does a pose) Ginyu!

JEICE: (poses) Jeice!

BURTER: (poses) Burter!

GULDO: (poses) Guldo!

RECOOME: (poses) Recoome!

CAPTAIN GINYU: And together, we are...

["SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" OPENING SEQUENCE]

(short silence as the Ginyu Force holds their pose in Front of Frieza)

"What did we just witness?" Ruby asked with confusion across her face.

"I don't know," Weiss admits, "but I hate it."

"I feel as if that's good to be a thing throughout most of this season, isn't it?" Nora said as she giggles.

FRIEZA: (thinking) Sure is Zarbon in here...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Lord Frieza. thank you for this chance to serve you.

RECOOME: AND BUST SOME HEADS!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Quite. But before we go down to business, Jeice?

JEICE: Yes sir, cap'n. Here you go, Lord Frieza. The new up-to-date scouters.

FRIEZA: Good. And they have the ringtone I wanted?

CAPTAIN GINYU: Yes, sir. (presses a button on his scouter)

(Frieza's scouter starts playing "F" by Maximum the Hormone with a text that reads "Incoming Call From: Ginyu")

FRIEZA: Glorious. Now, as you have been informed, Vegeta and a few other pests have taken my Dragon Balls.

RECOOME: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Vegeta?

BURTER: Little Veggie?

GULDO: What's a Dragon Ball?

RECOOME: Recoome can't believe he had it in him.

BURTER: I know, right?

GULDO: What's a Dragon Ball?

FREEZA: Yes. It turns out Zarbon and Dodoria weren't enough. I've called you five here to get them back.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Easy enough. Would you rather them dead or alive?

FRIEZA: Either or.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Dead it is! Ginyu Force, assemble!

(the Ginyu Force huddles up and perform a warm up routine)

BURTER: Speed of light and strength of all...

RECOOME: The Ginyu Force shall make them fall!

JEICE: Lord King Cold's army's strongest force...

GULDO: We'll rid them all, secure the course.

Everyone had an expretion of shock, similar to Ruby's when Ozpin announted to pairing of teams during initiation. Even Freiza is dumbfort.

"Yeah, we making that face too, Freiza." Jaune comments.

CAPTAIN GINYU: If trouble meets us as we pass...

GINYU FORCE: We'll shove our fists right up their ass!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Ginyu Force...

GINYU FORCE: Move out!

(the Ginyu Force flies away while the camera cuts to Frieza, who puts on his scouter and starts playing "F" by Maximum the Hormone again while smirking)

"That song sound awesome." Yang states while her sister silently sings the tone.

(cuts to outside Guru's house)

VEGETA: We're dead! We are dead! All dead! All gonna die! Dead Men Be We! A cornucopia of pain and despair is coming our way to ensure our demise! We are SO going to die-e-e! Why-y-y-y?!

GURU: Naaaail. Slap him.

(a slapping sound is heard)

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Ow!

"Why Krillin? Vegeta's the one freaking out." Blake confusingly questions.

"I think Nail knows, he just doesn't care." Ren hypothsis'.

GURU: Thank you.

VEGETA: Every fiber of my being wants to puke at once when I say this... but I need your heeeeh... I need your heeheeeeh...

GOHAN: You need our help?

VEGETA: That, yes.

KRILLIN: All right. But if we're gonna be a team, we need a name!

VEGETA: No, we don't.

KRILLIN: Ooh, I know, how about "Team Three Star"?

"Lame." JNPR's leader groans.

VEGETA: ...What?

"Yeah, what?" the heiress questions too.

KRILLIN: Well, we're a team, and there's three of us, and the Dragon Balls have stars on them. "Team Three Star"!

"Still lame." he continues to groan.

"Why couldn't he have a team name relating to a colour?" the crimsonette asks, "Like, uhh, Team... KGV (grave), or something."

"Not bad, but no." the cat Faunus said with her feedback, which lowers her leaders head in sadness while her big sister encourages her of trying.

VEGETA: That just makes me want to kill you even more. And you're still only the second most annoying bald person I've ever had the displeasure to work with.

"Oh, well he's going to get along just swimmingly with Tien." Pyrrha starcastically states.

KRILLIN: Team Three Star, move out! (flies away)

VEGETA: I swear to God... (flies after him)

(cuts to Bulma sitting in a chair and taking a nap before a blast comes out of nowhere and nearly hits her, causing her to wake up. camera goes to Vegeta slowly walking up to her, eyes glowing red in anger)

VEGETA: Hello, Earth woman... (Bulma stammers in fear) You know what I want... Now give it to me!

BULMA: (scared and pointing to a Dragon Ball nearby) The... The Dragon Ball's right there.

VEGETA: Oh, I'm not here for the Dragon Ball...

BULMA: Wh... What?

VEGETA: Spread 'em...

Everyone was in shock was to what could have happened with Yang covering Ruby's innocent and pure eyes. Ren did the same with Nora, and jaune and Pyrrha narely blushed at the Vegeta's idea.

(Bulma closes her eyes and prepares for the worst, but suddenly, the camera cuts to her falling down from her chair, showing Krillin untying the Dragon Ball from her leg)

"Oh thank Oum it was just a dream." the white-haired teammate sighed in relief.

KRILLIN: Taking the Dragon Ball; bitch at me later!

VEGETA: Your hair looks stupid. (he and Krillin fly off)

GOHAN: Sorry, Bulma. (flies off)

BULMA: ALL OF MY HATE!!!

(cuts to Vegeta, Krillin, and Gohan flying at top speed in midair)

GOHAN: Vegeta...? If you don't mind me asking, what are we in for?

VEGETA: You ever watched Power Rangers?

"Super Sentai." Jaune whispered to himself.

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: Ninja Turtles?

"Heroes in a half-shell."

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: Sailor Moon?

"Pretty Soldier."

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: Beetle... Borgs?

"Juukou B-Fighters."

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: V.R. Troopers?

"Superhuman-Machine Metalder."

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: Samurai Cyber-Squad?

"Gridman the Hyper Agent."

GOHAN: No.

VEGETA: ...Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills?

GOHAN: Oh, yeah!

VEGETA: Goddammit!

When Jaune finished singing the tones of each t.v. series he looks at his friends as they were looking at him too throughout Gohan's and Vegeta's interaction. "What?"

"Have you watched all of these series' and memrised their tones?" the Mistral champion asks with curosity.

"Y-yeah, I grew up with these each one of them," the blond leader admitted, "Even the last one."

"Wait, that's an actual show?" Yang questions.

"It's a guilty pleasure, of a sort." he chuckled as he rubs the back of his head.

(the trio lands in the area where Vegeta has stolen the five other Dragon Balls)

VEGETA: (runs up towards the five DragonBalls) Yes! We made it here before the Ginyus. Come on, let's get this over with and... (notices Gohan and Krillin standing far away from him, Krillin still holding a Dragon Ball, glaring)What the hell are you two doing?

KRILLIN: We don't think we can trust you. You still haven't pledged your allegiance to Team Three Star!

VEGETA: What are you, dense? The Ginyu Force could be here any second and then we're--

CAPTAIN GINYU: Hi, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Hi, Ginyu. And then we're... (stops himself and notices that the Ginyu Force has arrived) Son of a *Scouter beep* *beep*ing *beep* beast! Why the *beep* does all this *beep*ing s*beep*t happen to me? (in background while Ginyu and Jeice speak) Well as far as I care these, miserable *beep* can have a *beep* *beep*gy...

The hunters looked at the Vegeta in shock with the amount of times he's cursed out, especally with the show now censoring him.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice, please.

JEICE: (pressing a button on his scouter, causing it to beep the moment Vegeta "curses") Sorry cap'n, the scouter's acting a bit chunky...

VEGETA: ...with a goddamn pig!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Are you done?

VEGETA: (exhales) Yeah.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Very good. Now, to cut straight to the point: I want those two Dragon Balls you have there.

GULDO: (off-screen) Oh, so THAT'S a Dragon Ball.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Supposedly there are seven in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are...

KRILLIN: (scared) Right behind you!

VEGETA: My God, man. You just cannot...

KRILLIN: (still running his mouth quickly) Shut up when I'm scared, I know. I once had a crush on a little Indian boy that I thought was a girl.

The room was silent as they tried to process what Krillin admitted.

VEGETA: Please kill him... Seriously, he won't be missed...

"The sad thing this, he's right." RWBY's cat-ninja agreed with Vegeta.

"I like him." Ruby and Nora said in unison.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Well, I do believe that accounts for everything. Before I take these Dragon Balls and leave my associates here to clean up, is there anything you'd like to say to me, Vegeta?

VEGETA: As a matter of fact, there is. Look at your men, and now back to me. Now look back at your men, back to me. I am not your men, I'm flipping you off. "Rude." Weiss stated, Now look at the ground, back to me. Where's the Dragon Ball? It's gone! (shows a Dragon Ball flying off in the air) I threw it! And THERE IS NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN...

BURTER: (lands with the Dragon Ball) Here you go, boss.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Thank you, Burter.

BURTER: It's what I do.

VEGETA: But-- But I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could!

BURTER: Oh, you can't beat my speed, I’m the fastest in the universe.

"You want to test that against me?" the crimsonette asked with anger. Yang attempts to calm her down with cookies and milk, and her baby sister accepts the peace-offering.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) That's what she said!

VEGETA: We're all going to die, anyway. So... (looks at Krillin) Baldy, break the ball!

KRILLIN: What the--? I...

VEGETA: Punch the damn thing!

KRILLIN: AAAAAA... (tries punching the Dragon Ball, only to injure his hand) OW, my hand!

VEGETA: Hit it harder!

KRILLIN: But I...

VEGETA: Harder!

KRILLIN: YAAAAA... (punches the Dragon Ball again and screams in pain)

(Vegeta continues to demand Krillin to hit the Dragon Ball harder off-screen, only for Krillin to do so and groan in pain)

RECOOME: Uh, Guldo. Don't you think you should...

GULDO: Oh? Oh right, that thing I do... (VEGETA: Break it or I'll break you!) stopping time, yeah. One sec.

KRILLIN: WAAAAA... (prepares to hit the Dragon Ball again but it suddenly disappears) What? I...

VEGETA: What? Where did it go?

(Guldo is seen holding the Dragon Ball)

GULDO: See this, Vegeta? This is for all the times you used to embarrass me!

(flashback of Vegeta and Guldo's last meeting)

GULDO: Hey, Vegeta. How's it going?

VEGETA: Oh look, it's Guldo! You want a biscuit, boy? You want a biscuit?

GULDO: ...Do you think I'm a dog?

"Aren't you?!" Nora shouted.

VEGETA: Have a biscuit! (throws a dog biscuit at Guldo's head)

GULDO: (growls in anger)

(back to present)

GULDO: And now, it will be YOU who rolls over and plays dea-- (gets hit in the head with a dog biscuit, causing him to growl in anger, eyes shown being bloodshot red)

The hunters chuckled at Vegeta throwing at dog treat at Guldo.

CAPTAIN GINYU: All right, everyone settle down! Before I take these Dragon Balls to Lord Frieza, it's time for everyone's favorite game...

JEICE, BURTER, GULDO, & RECOOME: WHEEL... OF... DEATH!

(a wheel appears on the screen with a city background)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Now, for the folks viewing at home, the rules are simple. One of my men will spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on, he kills! (wheel spins and lands on Vegeta)

VEGETA: What the--? When did you have time to set this up? And... is that a camera?

(cuts to inside Frieza's throne room, with Vegeta's face shown on the monitor)

VEGETA: (from monitor) What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?

FRIEZA: Love this show.

The hunters now burst out laughing as Freiza watches the show.

(cuts to Captain Ginyu)

CAPTAIN GINYU: All right, first contestant...

(wheel starts spinning)

GULDO: Come on, Vegeta! Come on, Vegeta! (wheel lands on "Kid with Stupid Hair & Bald Guy") AAARGH! Re-spin, re-spin, re-spin!

RECOOME: Lucky little bastard got two of 'em...

BURTER: Alright, let's give this sucker a spin.

(wheel starts spinning and lands on "Vacation")

CAPTAIN GINYU: Congratulations! You've just won a free all-expense-paid trip to Space Australia!

BURTER: Oh, you've got to be freaking kidding me...

JEICE: Oh, hey, Space Aus'! That's me home planet!

KRILLIN: Wait, hold on. You're from Australia?

JEICE: Space Australia! Or more specifically, Space Brisbane. (holds up a small flag) Go Space Broncos!

KRILLIN: So... it's like... Australia...

JEICE: In space. "Does that mean it used to be a space jail?" Blake wonders, Gotta be careful though, Burter. Space dingo will eat your space baby... Like me sister... Poor Sheila.

VEGETA: Can we please get on with this?

JEICE: Oh, right, let's have a go then. (wheel starts spinning and lands on "Bankrupt") Ohh, piss off, ya great blooming pinwheel!

BURTER: Oh great. That means Vegeta goes to...

RECOOME: Yes! (to Guldo) In your face! (to Vegeta) Vegeta, your time is coming! Soon, you will face the End-All, the Be-All, the Plead-All... REEEECOOOOME!

GOHAN: I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore...

"Join the club." Weiss suggested to Gohan.

CAPTAIN GINYU: All right gang, it's time for me to head off. Try not to mess up your uniforms and be back by 05:00!

JEICE, BURTER, GULDO, & RECOOME: Yes Captain!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Ciao! (flies away with all seven Dragon Balls)

KRILLIN: So, uh, I guess we are fighting the little green guy over there?

VEGETA: Yeah, that's Guldo, have fun with him.

KRILLIN: Any strategies?

VEGETA: Throw dog treats at him.

KRILLIN: How would that help?

VEGETA: I'll find it hilarious.

Most of the huntsmen-trainees laughed at Vegeta's strategy.

KRILLIN: Well, come on, Gohan. We're strong enough to take this guy! Just keep your guard up!

GULDO: That's right, keep on your guard. Don't drop it... not even for an instant! ZA WARUDO!!!

KRILLIN: What are you... (screen pauses, goes inverted, then goes back to normal) ...going on about--? (gets crushed by a steamroller)

GULDO: You see that? That was just a taste of my power--! (Krillin is seen lifting the steamroller) ...Huh?

KRILLIN: (tosses the steamroller away) GAH-HA! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?

GULDO: (dumbfounded) That...was supposed to crush you.

KRILLIN: Gohan... Did you see it? His power. He can...

GOHAN: Stop time?

KRILLIN: ...summon steamrollers!

GOHAN: Y... You're sure about that?

KRILLIN: Positive! Go for him!

(Krillin and Gohan start charging at Guldo)

GULDO: You fools... WAAH! (freezes Krillin and Gohan in midair and starts laughing) My psychic powers are unrivaled in all the galaxy! You stood there and mocked me... The whole world stood there and mocked me! But now, you find yourselves slaves to my whim! Feel the earth fall out from under you, your world shatter! As I... AM... YOUR... why can't I feel my everything? (camera zooms out to show his head on the ground)  Oh...

They conclude laughing as Guldo's head lies on the floor.

(Guldo's body topples on the ground after being decapitated by Vegeta)

GULDO: (thinking) This is the end of the road... The end for me... I-I wonder... Will I dream...?

(Guldo gets hit in the head with a dog biscuit)

Team's RWBY and JNPR laugh even harder than before.

GULDO: (to Vegeta) I f***ing hate you.

VEGETA: I know. (blasts Guldo's head)

["TOKUSENTAI!!" ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

"So, what did Vegeta say?" Ruby questions as she, and everyone else, recover from so much laughing.

VEGETA: Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me? Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods! Like this whole world just likes to bend me over and find me in the Alps! Like I'm some sort of schlock receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue with a Goddamn pig!

"In all honesty, I was expecting at least one or two curse words." Yang said with some little shock in her voice.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

RECOOME: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to Namek where Vegeta had just executed Guldo from the previous episode)

GOHAN: You really saved us, Vegeta.

KRILLIN: Yeah... You totally pulled our butts out of the fire there. Really showed that Team Three Star spirit...!

VEGETA: They'll never find your body...

GOHAN: I feel a little sorry for those guys. They just lost their teammate. They must be devastated.

JEICE: So... when was the last time you had to.. you know?

"Yes Gohan, they're totally devastated..." Yang sarcastically stated.

RECOOME: Three weeks.

"That's gross!" Weiss yelled out.

"W-what are they talking about?" Ruby confusionly asked.

"Trust me, you DON'T want to know." Jaune and Yang said together as a warning and a threat.

JEICE: Bloody hell! Three weeks?

BURTER: I did it on the trip here.

"That's even more disguising." Pyrrha groaned with uncomfortness.

RECOOME: Recoome didn’t even have enough room in his pod.

JEICE: (notices Guldo's corpse) Oy...! Oy, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?

RECOOME: How tragic...

(short pause)

BURTER: (extremely quickly) Not telling the captain! 1-2-3, not it!

RECOOME: Not it!

JEICE: Not it... Aww, wankers...

["SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Vegeta staring at Recoome, who is the next in line to fight Vegeta)

VEGETA: So, are we gonna do this or wha--

RECOOME: HIT... RECOOOOOME'S MUSIC!

("Hangarmageddon" by Evil Horde starts playing)

"What is that music?" Blake sighed, "It seems 'heavy metal' of a sort."

"I don't know, but I think I'll have it with my exercise music playlist for future." Nora stated with simle and slightly banging her head to the theme.

RECOOME: Vegeta, you think that just because you're the Prince of all Saiyans you're the best there is at what you do... But let Recoome tell you something, brother: you ain't no Wolverine! And you ain't got what it takes to step up to a five... time... champion!

VEGETA: Champion of what?

JEICE: This fight right here is gonna be a bloomin' slobberknocker it is.

BURTER: You can just feel the intensity!

VEGETA: Who are you talking to?

BURTER: The audience.

JEICE: We're doing commentary, mate.

RECOOME: You see, Vegeta, you sit here and brag about how the Saiyans are the mightiest warriors in all the universe; how they're the most ruthless. Well, look at where they are now: DEAD! "O.K.!" Jaune cheered, You talk about your legends, and your warrior race, and your pride, but that doesn't mean a damn thing to this man! Because the name's Recoome, and it rhymes with doom, and you're gonna be hurting... all... too... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

(does a fighting pose, accompanied by the audience cheering, which dies down as the camera cuts to Krillin and Gohan, shown to be terrified, and Vegeta, who continues to glare at Recoome)

"This is kinda what happened to the previous finals round from the Vytal Festival Tournament, am I right Pyrrha?" Ren questions the Mistral champion.

"Yes it was, unfornuately the fight was cut short due to the guy who was making the speech got one-shotted in the face." Pyrrha remembered, "Good times."

VEGETA: (narrowing his eyes) Wrestling’s fake. (the audience starts booing, with a slight embrance of "you su-diddly-uck" being heard) Oh, go to Hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit... MY music! ("Step Into The Grand Tour" from DragonBall GT starts playing)Oh, the f**k with this! "Nothing like terrible music to piss him off, eh?" Blake state, (powers up and charges at Recoome, punching him into a mountain, removing his scouter in the process, and then charges up two energy blasts on each hand) SUCK IT, JABRONI!

(Vegeta puts both energy blasts in front of himself and fires it at Recoome, causing a huge explosion. Krillin and Gohan are seen ducking their heads due to the magnitude of the attack. The smoke eventually clears out.)

VEGETA: Well... everything went better than expected--

RECOOME: (does a pose while slightly scathed, having lost his armor) You talking more smack, Vegeta?

VEGETA: What?! How could you possibly get up after a hit like that?!

RECOOME: Silly Vegeta, The only thing Recoome sells... is merchandise!

(a bunch of Recoome-themed merchandise pops up on the screen, including a pixelated Recoome-vibrator, which starts vibrating)

Yang quickly covered her little sister's eyes, and it's starting to annoy Ruby even more so.

JEICE: Oy, Burter, bet you Recoome don't even leave a body.

BURTER: Please... you already owe me a space soda from our last bet.

JEICE: Well, you still owe me a space burger from the one before that.

(cuts to a Spacey's food commercial)

COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: And where can you find all this spectacular space food? At Spacey's. Now with our new Raditz Menu. Spacey's. It's good food, in space.

"And Raditz continues to get more disrespect from the series." the blond bombshell noticed.

(cuts to Captain Ginyu delivering all seven Dragon Balls to Frieza)

CAPTAIN GINYU: And one more makes seven!

FRIEZA: Ahh, Ginyu, I should have called you from the beginning.

"Wait I just realised something." Ren noted, "Ginyu knew about the Dragon Balls, yes?" Everyone give a nod in response, "But his teammates did not. And Freiza never described what they looked like." everyone slowly began to realise where JNPR's residen ninja is getting at. "So Ginyu saw the Dragon Balls when Freiza had them in his possession." the lotus ninja finished explaining his realisation.

"Holy Oum, so that explains why Guldo kept asking for." the Schnee hairess commented.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Thank you, sir. Now, in celebration, I shall commence the Dance of Joy!

FRIEZA: Oh, no, no, that won't be necessary.

CAPTAIN GINYU: It is entirely necessary!

FRIEZA: (desperately trying to avoid watching Ginyu's dance) Ah, no, really... you don't have to--

CAPTAIN GINYU: Actually, I do. I am contractually obligated under your father to dance the Dance of Joy post every successful mission.

FRIEZA: Ugh... Proceed... (Captain Ginyu starts dancing)

"If he wasn't a heartless bastrad, I'd feel sorry for him." Ruby stated with vemon in her tone when she said 'bastrad'.

(cuts back "NAMEKIMANIA 2011" showing two monitors on the screen, the upper left one showing a recap of Reccome preparing an attack while the bottom right one showing Vegeta attacking Recoome, the latter blocking out all the former's punches and kicks)

JEICE: And we're back, mates!

BURTER: While you were gone, Recoome caught Vegeta off-guard with his patented Recoome Knee.

(Recoome is shown kneeing Vegeta in the face on the upper left monitor. The monitor at the bottom right expands onto the screen.)

JEICE: It was absolutely devastating, Burter! And now he's back on the offensive. But, he can't seem to land a single hit!

RECOOME: Recoome... ELBOW! (elbows Vegeta into a lake below)

JEICE: Ohh, and Recoome follows up with a vicious Recoome Elbow!

BURTER: It looks like Recoome is just too fast for Vegeta, and that’s coming from the fastest guy in the universe!

JEICE: ...Not really relevant, Burter.

Ruby was tempting to call in her weapon, Crescent Rose, and slice throught the holo-screen from Burter's 'fasest in the universe' quote.

(cuts to Captain Ginyu continuing the Dance of Joy)

"After half an hour." JNPR's leader chuckled.

CAPTAIN GINYU: (finishes his dance) And that ends the Dance of Joy.

FRIEZA: (relived) Uggh... thank God. Now, lets wish me some immortality.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Not quite yet, Lord Frieza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance.

The hunter trainees giggled at Ginyu's suggetion.

FRIEZA: My father would command no such thing!

CAPTAIN GINYU: You are correct, Lord Frieza.

FRIEZA: Very well...

CAPTAIN GINYU: It was your brother.

FRIEZA: (lets out a frustrated yell)

They laugh out loud when the Captain reveiled who trully reladed the order.

"He wishes he was an only child." the ginger-haired girl giggled.

(cuts back to "NAMEKIMANIA 2011", once again showing two monitors on the screen)

JEICE: And we're back with the fight!

BURTER: Here's what you missed!

(the monitor at the bottom right expands at the screen and Vegeta is still in the water)

JEICE: Boy, did we time that commercial right or what?

(Vegeta burst out of the water and double punches Recoome in the stomach)

BURTER: Ohhh, sneak attack from Vegeta!

JEICE: But it looks like it didn’t do jack s**t!

(Recoome smirks before grabbing Vegeta and lifts him over his head)

BURTER: Wait! He's setting up the...

(Recoome and Vegeta plummet towards the ground)

VEGETA: AAAAAAAAHH!

JEICE: PILE DRIVER! PILE DRIVER!

(Recoome slams Vegeta onto the ground. Vegeta is seen implanted on the ground, face first. Recoome chuckles and plucks Vegeta from the ground)

"Yeah, that is funny." the blond brawler chuckled.

KRILLIN: Hey! Hey Gohan, look! He picked Vegeta... like a--

GOHAN: Like a vegetable, yes.

KRILLIN: Ha!

"Boo!" is what came from most of the teenager.

RECOOME: You see, Vegeta. You don't seem to comprehend where you stand right here. Because the name's Recoo--

VEGETA: RHAA! (blasts Recoome right in the face, knocking him down and freeing himself)

BURTER: Oh, look at that!

JEICE: He might have just taken Recoome's bleedin' head off! This would be a huge loss for sport entertainment!

RECOOME: (quickly jumps back on his feet) As Recoome was sayin'... the name's Recoome... it rhymes with doom... and you're gonna be hurtin' all... too... SOOOON! (does another battle pose)

BURTER: He's setting up for the Recoome Eraser Gun!

JEICE: This is vintage Recoome right here!

RECOOME: Recooooome... Eraserrrrr... (puts both his hands above his head)

(Vegeta is seen panting, too exhausted it move)

BURTER: This could be the end!

RECOOME: GUUUN!! (fires an energy blast, but gets nailed in the back of the neck by Krillin) Oomph!

GOHAN: Vegeta! (grabs Vegeta and avoids the blast, causing it to collide with a mountain, obliterating it)

JEICE: Oh, last-second interference from Team Three Star!

VEGETA: (to Gohan after being rescued by him) You idiot! I'm already one foot in the grave! You should have attacked Recoome!

KRILLIN: Come on, Vegeta. We couldn't lose one of our most valuable Team Three Star members. You carry the stable!

VEGETA: If there is any solace to all of this, it's that you will die along with me...

"That sounds nobal of him." Pyrrha comment.

RECOOME: (his mouth is all messed up from Krillin's earlier attack) Could Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Dear God, what happened to your face?!

BURTER: According to the rules in reg, he's allowed to take on both of these new challengers!

RECOOME: Sounds good to Recoome! Recooooome...

KRILLIN: Does every move you have start with--

RECOOME: KICK!

(Recoome kicks Krillin in the face, sending him sprawling as he bounces on the ground)

(Krillin Owned Count: 12)

KRILLIN: (while getting knocked away) GAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhh...

GOHAN: (leaps over to Krillin) KRILLIN!

"You know, I was about to ask the same thing what Krillin was about to ask." the cat Faunus stated.

(shows a replay of Recoome kicking Krillin)

JEICE: Oh, and a devastating Recoome Kick there! Let's see that again, in slow motion! Brought to you by... Space XXXX. Space XXXX, because Space VB is piss!

(replay is shown once again)

RECOOME: Recooooome...

KRILLIN: Does every move you have start with--

(slow motion of Recoome kicking Krillin in the face)

RECOOME: (in slow motion) KICK!!

(Krillin is shown getting knocked away at regular speed)

KRILLIN: GAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhh....

JEICE: What a ripper!

(cuts to Gohan checking on Krillin, who's immobilized by Recoome's attack)

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: (in a higher pitched voice) Hello, Gohan, have you done your homework? 'Cause if you don't, Chi-Chi will KICK my ass...

GOHAN: A... Are you okay?

KRILLIN: (in a higher pitched voice) Yeah. Seems he threw my nervous system out of whack there... Can't quite feel the pain... (short pause) There it is... Owwww...

Some of the hunters giggled at Krillin's deladed pain flooding through his body.

(cuts to Guru's house)

GURU: Naaaaaail! Our visitors from Earth require your assistance. You must go help them.

NAIL: Lord Guru, that would leave you totally unguarded.

GURU: No, I would have Dende...

DENDE: Please don't leave me alone with him.

GURU: He is the third strongest of our kind.

NAIL: Lord Guru, there are... only three of us left...

GURU: Dende, how does it feel to be the bronze medal?

DENDE: Like everyone I know and love is dead.

GURU: (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.

(brief pause)

NAIL: Lord Guru...

GURU: WHY ARE YOU STILL HEEEEEE...

The huntsmen trainees continued laughing.

(cuts back to "NAMEKIMANIA 2011" showing a replay of Recoome knocking out Krillin with a Recoome Kick)

JEICE: And welcome back to the fight, ladies and gents!

BURTER: Last we left, we had two new contenders!

JEICE: We now have one!

GOHAN: I'm not going to back down. I might be younger than you, smaller than you, weaker than you, and much less experienced, but I learned more about peach farming than you... (realizing his mistake) I think this was a horrible decision...

"Yes you have." Jaune commented, feeling sorry for Gohan.

RECOOME: Recoome agrees. (proceeds to beat up Gohan)

JEICE: This fight's turning into a regular piss-kicker!

BURTER: Poor kid doesn't stand a chance!

JEICE: How old is he? Like, five?

BURTER: Six, five-and-a-half?

JEICE: But the real question is... What do the fans think?

(the audience cheers loudly)

"I think that they want more child abuse." the hammer-wielding huntress stated.

"And I think i've had enough of child abuse in my life-time." Weiss groaned from remembering from her childhood years with her father.

GOHAN: (struggling to get up) You...you talk about who you are all the time. "Recoome" this, "Recoome" that. But... you are nothing... compared to my dad. (slowly walking up to Recoome) I... am son of Son Goku. The man who will come... and kick your... (starts charging at Reccome, with tears coming out of his eyes, only to get his neck snapped by swift kick from Recoome and falls limply to the ground)

JEICE: My God... (the audience starts cheering)

"D-did Reccome just kill Gohan?" Pyrrha wondered in shock. Ruby was narely on the verge of tearing up.

BURTER: That was incredible! This seems like the end, folks. Recoome looks like he’s got this one in the bag!

(Recoome walks up to a nearly-dead Gohan and chuckles. Camera shows Krillin's knocked out body and then pans over Vegeta, who's too damaged to move.)

JEICE: It doesn't look like there’s anyone left who can stop Recoome! (notices Goku's ship flying in from the sky)Wait... Who's that?

(Goku's spaceship lands in the distance, causing a massive explosion. Camera cuts inside to Goku getting up from his seat, walking around and tying a bag of Senzu Beans on his belt, and standing in front of an opening door, all while Rick Derringer’s "Real American" song plays in the background)

["TOKUSENTAI!!" ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cuts to Captain Ginyu doing the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance)

"He's still dancing?" Yang questions with surprise, "How long has he been dancing for?"

"My guess, three hours, give or take." Nora voicing her opinion.

CAPTAIN GINYU: All done.

FRIEZA: All right, so... you're done with all your dances?

CAPTAIN GINYU: Yes, sir!

FRIEZA: We can wish for my immortality now?

CAPTAIN GINYU: Of course!

FRIEZA: Fantastic. Now, Dragon Balls, grant my wish! Make me, Lord Frieza, immortal! (Frieza waits but nothing happens)

"Wait, is it spelt Freeza or Freiza?" Blake wondered.

"Either way, he's still a ginormous prink." Weiss insulted.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Umm... I don't think it worked.

FRIEZA: But... But why not? Those Village Elders explicitly told me there were only seven balls that I need merely to bring them together to grant my wish! So, what the hell!?

CAPTAIN GINYU: Perhaps there's a password.

FRIEZA: A password? But... I... killed them all... There's no one left to tell me! I've lost my wish!

"Ha, sucks for you." the crimsonette cheered.

"But he doesn't know about the only three Namekians he's army missed.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Might I suggest the "Dance of Cheering You Up"?

FRIEZA: Ugh... Proceed...

Everyone giggled at Frieza's annoyance until the video cut to black for the next one.

 

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

BURTER: (reading the disclaimer extremely quickly) The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. Yes! Best time!

(cuts to Goku flying in the sky, finally arriving on Planet Namek)

GOKU: Finally, I'm on Planet Namek.

"And about time too." Blake stated.

KRILLIN: (in distance) Help uuuuussssss!

GOKU: So serene.

KRILLIN: (in distance) Oh, God, he's killing us! Heeeeeelp!

GOKU: I think I hear a duck. But this far out in space? That doesn't make any sense!

KRILLIN: (in distance) Quaaaaaaaack...

"Well, if all else fails... Quack." Jaune chuckled while Pyrrha responded with a giggle.

GOKU: Oh, no! That sounds like Krillin! Imma comin'! (powers up to Kaio-ken)

["SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" OPENING SEQUENCE]

(shows Burter's face on the screen along with an ad on Team Four Star soda and Spacey's, accompanied by an announcer speaking in Japanese)

"Was that even neccessary?" Weiss sighed

"I believe it's best to not question these things." Ren interevened.

(cuts to outside Frieza's ship)

FRIEZA: I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the Space Boonies for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear banjos on the way in because everybody's inbred and looks the f**king same! Not to mention I lost Dodoria and Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his girlfriend, who I am convinced is named Chuck!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Lord Frieza...

FRIEZA: WHAT?!

CAPTAIN GINYU: There may still be a few holed up somewhere. Perhaps you should check your scouter.

"Yeah proooobably should've done that sooner." Nora commented.

(Frieza pauses for a brief moment and then checks his scouter)

FRIEZA: Well, would you look at that? Three in that direction. (gets in his bubble car) Good work, Ginyu.

CAPTAIN GINYU: All in a day's work sir.

(Frieza flies off)

CAPTAIN GINYU: And now... the Dance of Solitude! (Captain Ginyu starts dancing, with "Vouge" playing in the background)

"Now I find Ginyu my second favourite character, alongside Nappa." the hammer-wielding ginger stated with a huge grin on her face.

(cuts to Burter and Jeice as they watch a red dot approaching the battlefield)

BURTER: So are we just waiting for this thing or wha--

(Goku quickly flies into the battlefield)

JEICE: Holy doolie!

BURTER: Jesus, that was fast! I-I mean not as... not as fast as me considering I'm the fastest in the... in the universe. But compared to the average person...

JEICE: We get it, mate. It's cool.

(Goku starts shaking a nearly-dead Gohan, who makes snapping noises while doing so)

GOKU: Gohan. Hey, Gohan. Gohaaaan... Gohan? (Gohan doesn't respond, with his neck limply falling down)Maybe he'll wake up if I shake him some more...

Every hunter-trainee looked in shock that Goku could accedently snap Gohan's neck. Some of them responded with reasonable complaints of the Earth Saiyan's actions.

"Goku what are you doing?"

"GOKU THAT'S YOUR SON, STOP!"

"OH GROSS HIS NECK!"

KRILLIN: Goku, just give him a Senzu!

GOKU: Oh, right. (starts getting a Senzu Bean) Eat up, Gohan.

RECOOME: Hey! Recoome was in the middle of a match, here! So how 'bout yo--

GOKU: Sir... I am talking to my son.

RECOOME: Oh, Recoome apologizes. "Awww, what a nice guy..." said Pyrrha, Wait, what am I apologizing for? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!

...Or not." taking back her comment.

(Gohan gets fed a Senzu Bean, making a Final Fantasy sound effect along with a green 9999 appearing over his head, and wakes up)

GOHAN: Dad...? Dad! (clutches Goku's shirt) Oh, my God, you're here! I love you, Dad!

GOKU: That's right, Gohan. I am here. "Oum dammit Goku..." Blake groaned, (walks up to Krillin) Hey, Krillin! Ya hangin' in there?

KRILLIN: Oh, I've had worse. Ya know... when I died... This is definitely a close second, though.

RECOOME: Recoome will not be ignored!

GOKU: Sir. I am trying to talk to my friends! (to Vegeta) Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?

VEGETA: F**k off.

The huntsmen and huntress' laughed at Vegeta's responce to Goku's 'being friends' question.

If Weiss watched this before coming to Beacon Academy and being partnered with Ruby, she would have said the same thing.

GOKU: The best. So have a magic bean! (tosses a Senzu Bean at Vegeta, who catches it) But make sure you chew it, or else you'll grow a beanstalk in your belly!

KRILLIN: Goku, it was terrible! We landed here, and then there were these really strong guys, and then there was even more strong guys, and then our ship blew up, (voice starts breaking down) and then there was even more strong--

GOKU: Bored now. Reading your mind.

KRILLIN: Wait, what?

(Goku places his hand on Krillin's head and reads his mind)

"Wait... the Idiot Hero can read minds?!" Yang shouted out in shock.

GOKU: Haha! That thing was a guy.

KRILLIN: Goku, did you just read my mind?

GOKU: Yuh-huh.

KRILLIN: But how could you--

GOKU: Muffin Button.

"As if that''s all that needs explaining." Ruby sarcastically stated.

KRILLIN: What?

GOKU: Huh?

RECOOME: THAT'S IT! Recoome has had enough! "Wow, what took you so long." Yang grinned, Feel the strength of the Reeeecoooome Ultra Fighting Miracle... (starts charging up energy)

GOKU: Sir! (elbows Recoome in the stomach, knocking him unconscious) I will fight you in a minute.

"That might've been what used to be his rib cage..." the heiress shockingly said with little worry.

"Dawn, Recoome got jobbed like a bitch." the hyperactive girl bluntly stated.

VEGETA: (thinking) This... This is impossible! Kakarrot was nowhere near that same level when we fought on Earth! The only way he could have attained this strength is... No! It can't be! The legend says it only happens every 1,000 years! Has he become... a Super Saiyan?!

"A 'Super wait-now'?" everyone confusingly questions in their heads.

GOKU: So, anyway... Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy?

RECOOME: (groans in pain)

VEGETA: Uhh... n-no... I um... Uh...

GHOST NAPPA: You fell down some stairs.

VEGETA: I fell down some stairs.

KRILLIN: No you didn't, you--

VEGETA: Shut up before I throw you down a flight!

Yang and Nora laughed the hardest at the Saiyan Prince's threating insult.

(cuts to Guru's house)

GURU: So, Dende... Sucks about your family.

DENDE: We've gone over this...

GURU: But do you know who also lost his family...? Batman.

"How does he know at fictional characters like Batman, but doesn't have a T.V.?" JNPR's leader questions.

DENDE: I don't know who that is!

GURU: See? This is why we need TV!

DENDE: Why?

GURU: (singing in the style of the Batman theme song) ♪Nananananananana Dende. Nananananananana Dende. Dende...♪

Everyone,minus Weiss, Blake and Ren, laughed at Guru singing the 1960's Batman theme.

 

DENDE: Guru.

"He see's the lost cause." Ren noticed.

GURU: ♪Dende...♪

DENDE: Nail's here.

"Hus hope is now dead" the cat Faunus added.

GURU: (as Nail enters via an elevator, showing a dark bruise on his head) Naaaaaaaiiiiiiilllllll. Why are you back?

NAIL: I never left, sir. I was outside hitting my head against the wall for 20 minutes.

(Flashback to sounds of Nail hitting his head against the wall four times, with Guru flinching everytime he does so. Cuts back to present.)

"So, Nail gives himself a concussion via the wall." the crimsonette guessed.

"Assuming that Namekian's CAN get concussions." her older sister mentions.

GURU: So that's what that was... Why have you ignored my order?

NAIL: Because, Lord Guru, I can't leave you unguarded no matter what--

(Guru coughs up mucus, which drips down on Nail's face)

GURU: Clean that up!

(Shows a Batman-style transition with Dende's logo. Cuts back to the battlefield.)

JEICE: What the bleedin' hell?! We were havin' a right ripsnorter here, and then this piker shows up and just like that it's "Goodnight, Irene"!

KRILLIN: (off-screen) We get it, you're from Space Australia!

BURTER: He's making fools out of us, Jeice!

JEICE: You're bloomin' right he is! We'd better bust out our special technique...

BURTER & JEICE: (both start powering up) Seizure Procedure!

(The two combined into a whirling blue and red vortex, as the screen starts flashing red and blue, with "Sandstorm" by Darude playing in the background. Goku is seen silently glaring at the vortex.)

GOHAN: Krillin, whatever you do, don't look directly at it! Krillin?

(Krillin is seen with his eyes rolled back in his head, foaming at his wide-open mouth, and moaning unintelligibly)

"What a shmuck, cue up the owned count!" said Jaune.

(Krillin Owned Count: 13)

JEICE: No way! No one resists the Seizure Procedure!

BURTER: Plan B!

(Burter and Jeice lands next to Goku; Burter landing from behind while Jeice lands in the front)

JEICE: Alright, you bastard. Prepare to feel the wrath of the Ginyu-- (Goku punches Jeice in the face) Argh! Gah! You goddamn wanker! You punched me in the-- (Goku punches Jeice again) Argh! Gah! Ya did it again! (Goku punches Jeice yet again) Daah! Stop it! Stop it! (Goku punches Jeice a fourth time) Ah! Piss!  (thinking) Oh, what did the cap'n tell us to do in this situation?!

(shows a flashback with Captain Ginyu's face)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to--

(Goku punches Jeice a fifth time, ending the flashback)

JEICE: Gahhh! Ow! He cut off the cap'n!

GOKU: So, aren't you gonna dodge any of these?

JEICE: Oh, that's what the cap'n-- (Goku punches Jeice a SIXTH time) Ahh! (to Burter) BURTER! SUPPORT!!

BURTER: Well, you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.

JEICE: I meant punch him, ya daft bastard! Argh! Oh, but thanks, you know? That did really cheer me-- (Goku punches Jeice... you know what? You get the point) Ahh! God, I think he broke something that time!

(Burter and Jeice attacks Goku, with Goku easily blocking both their attacks. Goku then counter attacks by sweepkicking Burter off his feet and then gets back up and holds his hands near his face, all while "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer plays, the music pausing at word "Stop:".)

GOKU: Goku time! (blasts Burter and Jeice away simultaneously with a Ki blast)

"That looked awesome." Yang stated in awe, "I wonder if I can pull off something like that."

JEICE: Alright, this is just bloody stupid!

BURTER: Calm down! We gotta come up with a plan! Listen, if you use your Crusher Ball on him, I can rush him the moment he tries to dodge. He may be fast, but he's not faster than the fastest guy in the universe!

JEICE: Okay, mate, we need to talk. About this whole "fastest in the universe" thing. First off, the Cap'n's got a higher power level than you.

BURTER: Yeah, so?

JEICE: Well then, correct me if I'm wrong, but a higher power level means he's faster, yeah?

"Technically-?" the white-haired teammate somewhat agreed, "Not always the case but sometimes it is. Are Aura's work somewaht the same way."

BURTER: Well okay... Maybe...

JEICE: And Lord Frieza's got a higher power level than all of us...

"Yeah, it's not fair to compair pawns to a King piece." the raven haired girl stated.

BURTER: Okay, that's just not fair...

JEICE: And, if ya think about it, Guldo can stop time, so that technically makes him faster than--

"Oooooooh! Good point!" Ruby wooed.

BURTER: NO, NO, NO! OKAY?! I AM NOT SLOWER THAN F**KING GULDO!!!

JEICE: Burter, calm down.

BURTER: NO, SHUT UP! YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID RED FACE! (doing a Jeice impression) "Oh, don't worry, mate, you're just slower than Guldo!" (continues speaking inaudibly in off-screen during Goku's thought transition)

GOKU: (thinking) I wonder if there's a Denny's on this planet... I could really go for a Grand Slam...

The hunters facepalms their foreheads.

BURTER: ...you don't know what it's like! Everyone has something special! I don't! What am I? The big blue snake guy. That's all I've got! (voice starts breaking down) That's all I've go-o-ot...

"Well some people might like that..." Nora reashores.

JEICE: Geez, mate. I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

BURTER: I just... I just wanna be special. Something to call my own, you know?

JEICE: Mate, mate. Ya do got something special: You're me mate.

BURTER: Ahh, dude...

JEICE: No, no, really. Remember when I had to move me piano into me flat and Recoome was too busy with his match and Guldo, well, he was Guldo, but you! You got those ivory keys up those five flights in no time at all. You're me best mate!

BURTER: Thanks, Jeice. You're my best friend too... Ya know, after all this is over, whaddya say we head off to Spacey's and just have a good ol' time?

JEICE: Sounds good, mate.

BURTER: But remember, you still owe me that space soda!

JEICE: Haha! You're right I do. Now, let's go show that bloke what for-

(Goku attacks Burter by kicking him the back, sending him flying towards the ground, only to be caught by Goku, who throws him onto the ground, rendering him unconscious)

"And his last words were literally about one of their bets. Kinda sad honestly." spoked the Mistral champion.

"Goku: Master in mood-killing." the blonde bombshell commenting on Goku like a social statues.

GOKU: (to Jeice) Say, do you know where there's a Denny's around here?

JEICE: Burter! No!

GOKU: Butter! That'll go great on my Grand Slam!

"OUM... DAMMIT... GOKU..." Ren whispers to himself in little fustrastion.

JEICE: You just killed me best mate! I'm... I'm gonna get the cap'n. And he's gonna beat you up! (charges up energy and flies away) CAAAPTAIIIIIN!

GOKU: Well, that was fun. Now where are the fighters? I really wanna deck that Freezer guy!

VEGETA: You've got to be kidding... This is a Super Saiyan?

GOKU: A Super what?

VEGETA: Nothing. Just... lamenting my crushed dreams...

KRILLIN: Goku! I can't believe you're so strong!

GOKU: Well, I did train at 100x normal gravity...

VEGETA: (eyes widen) FUU**********... (continues cursing in the background)

The hunters laughed at Vegeta's responce on how Goku got stronger.

KRILLIN: Man, no wonder you killed them so easily.

VEGETA: ...UUCK!

GOKU: Krillin, I'm not gonna kill them.... They're hardly even a threat.

(The renegade icon from Mass Effect 3 appears at the bottom right of the screen. Vegeta grins before killing Burter by breaking his neck and then fires a blast at Recoome, killing him as well)

GOKU: Vegeta...! That was not very Paragon!

VEGETA: (spits) Renegade for life.

"I want that on a shirt." Jaune admitted.

["TOKUSENTAI!!" ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

VEGETA: You think that's bad? Seriously, if you hit him hard enough you can play a song.

(Vegeta repeatedly stomps on Burter's neck, causing the latter to groan repeatedly in the tune of "Tetris")

VEGETA: Ahahahah! I don't even know what that's from.

KRILLIN: I think that was Tetris.

"Correct! See Krillin? You CAN be smart when you try." Yang giggled.

VEGETA: Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?

GOKU: Nope. That's rabies.

GOHAN: Actually, Dad, you contract rabies when you're bitten by an animal with the disease.

"NEEEEERRRRD!" Nora shouted.

GOKU: Silly Gohan. Animals don't eat people... People eat animals. Silly Gohan.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

JEICE: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to Guru's house)

GURU: And so I tell him, "I don't care who you are! Now clean my jowls!" "You're what?" Blake asks in confusion, And that was Nail's first day on the job.

"And he didn't quit immediately?"

NAIL: Yes, sir... I remember, I was there. That also doesn't have anything to do with what we were talking about.

GURU: What were we talking about?

NAIL: That ungodly POWER headed our way! (shows Frieza flying his way to Guru's house)

GURU: Oh yeah... that.

NAIL: You know, perhaps you should give someone else that power-up. You remember, the one you gave the Earthlings?

GURU: You are correct. It is time for me to unlock your hidden powers... Dende.

(Guru unlocks Dende's hidden potential)

DENDE: Ahh, what the hell?!

GURU: And now, your power has been awakened.

DENDE: I noticed!

NAIL: Sir, I was referring to ME--!

GURU: Now listen to me, Dende. With these powers, you garner a huge responsibility. I need you to run as fast as you can to the Earthlin--

"I thought he was BatNamekian, not SpiderNamekian." Jaune complained.

NAIL: Sir, he left you the moment after you gave him the power-up.

"I'm surprised he didn't leave sooner." Blake mentions.

(shows Dende flying away from a window)

GURU: That SLUT!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Guru's insult.

["SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to outside Frieza's ship with Jeice reporting to Captain Ginyu about what just happened)

JEICE: Then out of nowhere, this stupid guy in this stupid outfit starts beating us up, and I lost me best mate, and--

CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice! You'll speak to me professionally and dutifully.

JEICE: (now calm) Oh, um... Sorry, cap'n.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Now, Jeice, back from the field. Full report.

JEICE: Well, see, at first it was going fine... but next thing we know, Guldo... well...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh lord, he's dead, isn't he...?

JEICE: That he is, sir...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Well... in our line of work, our lives can be compromised at any moment. This is something we must live with. On the plus side, Burter owes me 50 Raditz.

"What's the value of a Raditz?" Ren questions out of curosity.

JEICE: About that, cap'n... he's probably not gonna pay up.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Really? He's usually such a good sport about that.

JEICE: Thing is, he's come down with a sudden case of death, sir.

CAPTAIN GINYU: (sincerely upset) Oh... that's... wow. That's a rather hefty loss.

JEICE: Yes, sir. He was a valued teammate. Strong, fast, and--

CAPTAIN GINYU: And blue!

JEICE: Pardon, cap'n?

CAPTAIN GINYU: Blue! And tall! And you're so red! And short! It was the perfect little yin-yang thing we had going!

"What about him eing a snake guy?" Yang asked.

JEICE: (muttering) Not that short, cap'n.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh, don't go all Vegeta on me. Now, where are we going to find another blue recruit? Perhaps Recoome knows someone.

JEICE: (lets out a disappointed sigh)

CAPTAIN GINYU: He's dead too, isn't he...?

JEICE: Yeah...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Well, did he at least die with dignity?

(Shows a shot of Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)

"That means NO." Ruby laughed out.

JEICE: Define "dignity", sir.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Uhhh... Well, Jeice, I believe the next step is obvious. We, as professionals, cannot allow this act to go unabated. We have a job to finish, and we shall see it through.

JEICE: Yes, sir!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Ginyu Force, away!

"Doesn't he mean 'Duo'?" Weiss corrected.

(Captain Ginyu and Jeice fly off in the distance)

(cuts to the battlefield showing Goku, Gohan, Krillin, and Vegeta)

GOKU: Sure is nice to see you guys again. But I sure can't help but feel that someone's missing.

KRILLIN: Oh yeah, Bulma!

GOHAN: What do you think she's up to?

KRILLIN: Probably something girly...

(cuts to Bulma in a mech suit fighting a giant crab underwater, with "Crabplosion" playing in the background)

♪Killing crabs... in the ocean♪
♪Kill it fast... pain explosion♪
♪Yeah!♪

(cuts back to Krillin and Gohan)

KRILLIN: ...like her hair.

VEGETA: Your idiotic banter is charming, but if you haven't noticed, we're pretty much screwed here.

GOKU: What? Why?

VEGETA: Frieza has the Dragon Balls, you dolt! Which basically means we're already dead.

KRILLIN: Actually, not really.

VEGETA: Oh? Something you know that I don't?

KRILLIN: A lot of things, actually.

VEGETA: ... You have five seconds to rephrase that. 4... 3...

KRILLIN: Actually, what I meant to say was, when you make a wish on the Dragon Balls, the sky turns darker than the blackest void…

(cuts to Mr. Popo on Earth)

MR. POPO: Hm?

Everyone froze for a second when Mr. Popo appeared on screen.

(cuts back to Krillin)

KRILLIN: And out of the balls... rises a giant dragon! So yeah, none of that.

VEGETA: ... 2... 1...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Hi, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Hi, Ginyu-- (realizes that Captain Ginyu and Jeice has arrived) Ugh...

JEICE: (referring to Goku) That's him, cap'n! That's the one who beat us up!

CAPTAIN GINYU: What? Just look at his hair! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sakes, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas!

JEICE: I swear it, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha-- (Goku punches him in the face again)Aaah! Oh, that's just not fair!

"He's even worse at dodging than Gohan." Blake commented.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice, what have I told you?

VEGETA: You know, I'm surprised you're here, Ginyu. I thought you'd be busy polishing Frieza's boots.

"But he doesn't wear any boots." Jaune stated.

"Or does he?" the scythe-wielder sarcastically questions.

CAPTAIN GINYU: First off, Lord Frieza doesn't wear boots. "Dammit!" She curses out, Second, if he did, I'd have already polished them. Third, he's off chasing some leftover Namekians.

VEGETA: Wait, so Frieza's not at the ship...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Correct.

VEGETA: And you're here...

CAPTAIN GINYU: That's right.

VEGETA: And the average power level of Frieza's soldiers is...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Two thousand.

VEGETA: I-i-i-interesting...!

GOKU: Krillin! Gohan! Get out of here and find Bulma. Vegeta and I can handle this on our own.

KRILLIN: Oh, no! I mean, I'd really hate to leave you on your own, you know, but if you say so, LET'S GO, GOHAN! (flies away with Gohan)

GOHAN: Be careful, Dad!

GOKU: All right, Vegeta. We have to put our differences aside for now, and take these guys as a team.

VEGETA: Yeah, that's fantastic and entertaining and all that... but first, if you don't mind me... I need to use the restroom.

GOKU: Oh, okay.

VEGETA: About a hundred miles away. (flies off)

Some of the hunters laughed at Vegeta ditching Goku to fighting Ginyu and Jeice.

GOKU: ...He has a very nervous bladder. (gets elbowed in the face by Captain Ginyu)

(cuts to Frieza flying to Guru's house in his bubble car)

FRIEZA: (thinking) So, for the first century, I'll go easy on them, lure them into a false sense of security, and then when they think I'm not so bad, BAM! I'll go full tyrant on them in the second century. After that, I'll disappear for a millennia and make them wonder if I ever existed to begin with... just to come back and kill them all.

"Well, at least he's making plans." Pyrrha admits.

"I thought he was going to slap this 'Cooler' character when he becomes a immortal." Weiss remembered.

(Frieza flies pass Dende, who's travelling in the opposite direction. Dende gives Frieza a nasty glare)

FRIEZA: Good afternoon.

DENDE: It's morning. (in Namekian/Klingon) Douche.

FRIEZA: Cute kid. Seems familiar.

"Why isn't he catching him?" Ren wonders.

(Frieza speeds up and arrives at Guru's house, his bubble car making a Jetsons' sound effect while descending to ground level. Frieza then gets out of his bubble care and gets confronted by...)

NAIL: What do you want?

FRIEZA: Ah, good sir, I suppose you could say I'm looking for technical support.

GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaaaaiiiiil, do we have a visitor?

NAIL: Yes, sir.

GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaaiiil, take his coat.

FRIEZA: I don't have a coat.

NAIL: He doesn't have a coat, sir. And I believe this is the man who basically killed our entire race.

GURU: (from inside his house, sounding a bit annoyed) Naaaiil, don't take his coat.

"Yeah, that'll show him." Jaune sarcastically mentions.

FRIEZA: You see, I recently acquired what you people refer to as "Dragon Balls"... but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.

NAIL: Did you try working the shaft?

"Bow-chicka bow-wow!" the blonde brawler said, thinking she's spent too much time with boy named Lavernius Tunker back at Signal Academy.

FRIEZA: (lowers his head) Classy.

GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaail, what does he want?

NAIL: He's asking how to use the Dragon Balls.

GURU: (from inside his house) Did you tell him to work the shaft?

NAIL: Yes, Lord Guru.

GURU: (from inside his house) Good work, Nail.

FRIEZA: I have the distinct impression you're going to be difficult.

NAIL: Well, sir, if you're having a problem with our customer support, you can call 1-800-eat-a-d**k.

They laughed at Nail's insult, with both Nora and Yang mentially noting that for future insults in battles and spars.

GURU: (from inside his house) We don't even HAVE those!!

FRIEZA: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What IS that? (shoots eyes laser at Guru's house, blowing up the top part and revealing Guru)

GURU: Oh, God, NATURAL LIGHT!

"Calm down, it's not like you'll burst into flames or anything... I think." the crimsonette reashores the Super Kami.

FRIEZA: Good lord! I was led to believe your species survived entirely on water. How is he so FAT?!

"I'm willing to bet he was the cause of the drought." Weiss guesses.

GURU: Oh, hello, I'm Super Kami Guru, and I'm the guy who's NOT judging you on your appearance.

FRIEZA: Well, my name is Frieza; ruler of most of the known galaxy. I'm here to offer you a deal. You give me the information I require, and I'll let the sporting young man live.

GURU: Please. Nail isn't afraid of you... He is the strongest of our race!

FRIEZA: Oh, really?

NAIL: (nervously) Uh, sir?

GURU: Yeah, Nail's gonna destroy your sorry ass. They wouldn't be able to air it on the news because it'll be so BRUTAL!

NAIL: (desperately trying to get Guru's attention) Sir, seriously--!

GURU: Hush, Nail! I'm speaking for you.

FRIEZA: (puts on his scouter) Well, then, If this is the only course of action available to me, I accept. I'll dispatch of this worm and then I'll be back for you, slug.

"Wrong Namekian." JNPR's quiestest member corrects while remembering DBZA Movie 4: Lorg Slug.

GURU: Leave my brother out of this!

"I knew you two were related." Blake accussed.

NAIL: Sir, his power is overwhelming! I can also sense it's only a fraction of what he's capable of!

GURU: Nail, listen to me... You are Namek's number one son. A prodigy child. You have been trained in the ancient ways... I believe in you.

NAIL: You... mean that, Lord Guru?

GURU: Yes, Nail... Now show him the staggering spirit of Namek... and waste his smug ass!

NAIL: Yes sir! (to Frieza) Follow me! (leaves with Frieza to a different location to do battle)

GURU: Fool... If I had trained him in the NEW way, he might have stood a chance.

"So such for faith." the blonde brawler stated.

(cuts to Goku and Ginyu fighting in the air)

CAPTAIN GINYU: You have an interesting form and a surprisingly well-honed technique.

GOKU: And you're purple!

"And so evil!" the crimsonette gasped.

(both Goku and Captain Ginyu jump back)

CAPTAIN GINYU: I'm sufficiently impressed. You've held your own very well. But your form and grace will never compare to that of the illustrious CAPTAIN GINYU! (strikes a pose)

GOKU: (mimicking Captain Ginyu's pose) You mean, like this?

CAPTAIN GINYU: (blushing) Oh, God! Is that what I look like? Jeice! That isn't what I look like, is it?

JEICE: No, cap'n! You look amazing!

GOKU: No offense, but this is boring... Like, really boring... Like, listening to Gohan’s piano recital boring...

"When has that ever happened?" the hyperactive ginger questions.

"Probably before Goku introduced Gohan to his friends." the redhead champion suggested.

CAPTAIN GINYU: I realized these poses in an effort to invigorate my men and raise morale! How DARE you mock them?!

GOKU: Well, I mean, it's just.. I'm not even using half my power right now.

CAPTAIN GINYU:: Aha, quite a substantial bluff. But a bluff, and nothing more. I've witnessed your abilities firsthand and I assure you that you're--

(Goku powers up in Kaio-ken, causing both Captain Ginyu and Jeice's scouters to start beeping rapidly. Goku powers down)

"Still think it's a bluff?" the heiress questions with a simile on her face.

CAPTAIN GINYU: A hundred and eighty thousand... Hunh.

JEICE: Oy, cap'n, isn't your max power level only one hundred and--

CAPTAIN GINYU: DAAAUUUUGGHH! (holds his head and dives into the water)

Ruby, Yang, Nora and Jaune laughed at Captain Ginyu's responce to his appoinents higher power level.

JEICE: Yeah, one hundred and twenty thousand, that's what I thought.

GOKU: Is he gonna be okay?

JEICE: Eh, the cap'n? Yeah, he just does that sometimes.

(Ginyu comes back out of the water and holds his head)

CAPTAIN GINYU: GAH! Alright, I'm back.

JEICE: How ya going, cap'n?

CAPTAIN GINYU: How do you think?

JEICE: Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... you know.

CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh, Jeice! This is hardly the time or the place. Besides, I did it in the pod on the way here.

"EW!" everyone groaned in unison.

JEICE: (suprised) Uh... I meant switch bodies, sir...

CAPTAIN GINYU: Ah, yes! Of course! (throws his scouter at Jeice, who catches it with one hand) Hold my scouter.

GOKU: Hey, what are you doing with your hand?

(Captain Ginyu punches a hole in his own chest)

GOKU: (completely shocked) Um, sir...? You're supposed to do that to me...

CAPTAIN GINYU: (in pain) Oh-ho, but you see... I DID do it to you.

GOKU: I don't understand...

CAPTAIN GINYU: CHANGE NOOOWWWW!

(Captain Ginyu switches bodies with Goku, laughing evilly while doing so. Camera shows a blurry vision of Goku in midair.)

"What the Grimmlands is happening!?" JNPR's leader confusingly asks out loud.

GOKU: (thinking) Oh, wow... what happened? Everything seems... weird. (regains his vision and sees himself) Oh, hey! There's another me over there! I wonder if-- (starts moving forward but suddenly stops) Ahh! Ow! My chest! What in the... (looks down and sees Captain Ginyu's hand) Oh..

(camera reveals Goku in Captain Ginyu's body)

GOKU: (out loud in a different voice) Oh... ohhhh...

["TOKUSENTAI!!" ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cuts to Gohan and Krillin arriving back at the cave)

KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma... We're back.

GOHAN: How ya doing?

BULMA: I FOUGHT A GIANT CRAB!

"That's sounds so cool!" Ruby and Nora thought out loud.

KRILLIN: ...They make a special shampoo for that, I hear. (screen goes black as a punching sound is heard) Ow!

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

CAPTAIN GINYU: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to Goku, now in Captain Ginyu's body)

GINYU!GOKU: (in Ginyu's body) What happened? I'm all purple...and horny! Chi-Chi's gonna hate this...

"Oh my..." Yang giggled.

GOKU!GINYU: (in Goku's body) What's mine is yours, and yours is mine, as they say.

GINYU!GOKU: G-Gimme back my body!

"Yeah! That's identity theft!" Nora shouted out.

GOKU!GINYU: I'm sorry, you can't have your body anymore. It's mine, now. Jeice, shall we?

JEICE: Right, cap'n.

(Ginyu and Jeice fly off)

GOKU!GINYU: Goodbye! Enjoy bleeding to death.

GINYU!GOKU:: I won't...! Man... I'm a jerk now...

"And it taked you now to relise that?" Weiss questions.

["SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Krillin and Gohan flying in the sky, searching for the Dragon Balls)

GOHAN: The radar says we're getting close!

KRILLIN: Yeah... Who woulda' thought Bulma woulda' been so compliant?

(flashback of Krillin and Gohan's last conversation with Bulma)

BULMA: Why? Why would you leave me alone here? I don't know this place! Did you know there are giant crabs down there?! I do! I KILLED ONE!

KRILLIN: Okay, Bulma... let's just calm down. Why are you upset?

"But she just shouted out her problem." Jaune stated.

BULMA: Why? Because I...am always alone.

KRILLIN: Okay, Bulma-- if we were to stay here...what would that accomplish?

It don't take a long for the hunter-trainees to figure out what to accomplish by staying around doing nothing.

BULMA: ...Just take the f**king radar.

KRILLIN: Thank you, Bulma. Say thank you, Gohan.

GOHAN: Thank you, Bulma.

BULMA: No problem, Gohan.

KRILLIN: And no problem...

BULMA: Shove it!

KRILLIN: I'll take it. Let's go! (Gohan and Krillin leap away)

(cuts back to present)

KRILLIN: Well, if you ask me, all she needs is a little bit of wink wink, nudge, nudge, *tsk*, *tsk*, *whistle*

"Gross." Ruby and Weiss groaned out while Yang grinned at Krillin's meaning.

GOHAN: Still five.

KRILLIN: Right.

(cuts to outside Frieza's ship)

FRIEZA SOLDIER #1: It's called the Wilhelm Scream, man. It's like the one in Star Wars where the Stormtrooper falls.

"Wait, so they too have the Star Wars movies within their universe." Pyrrha commented.

"It would seem so." Blake agreed.

"Yeah. But to be honest, the new movies don't seem to be all that good." Jaune mentions.

FRIEZA SOLDIER #2: Aww, yeah! I love that scream. Uh, doesn't it sound like... (tries to imitate the scream)

FRIEZA SOLDIER #1: Nah, dude, it's more like... (also tries to imitate the scream)

FRIEZA SOLDIER #2: Naw, that wasn't it either. (gets shot by a ki blast and does the actual scream)

FRIEZA SOLDIER #1: Dude, that was totally it! (also gets shot by a ki blast and does the actual scream as well)

(The first soldier's corpse is seen dropping on the ground, and then all the other soldiers gets blasted to their deaths, resulting in a huge explosion. Vegeta is seen descending towards Frieza's ship and lands near hole in the center.)

VEGETA: (jumps down the hole in Frieza's ship) Wheeee!

Some of the hunteress chuckled at Vegeta's deadpanning.

(cuts to Ginyu (in Goku's body) and Jeice flying in the sky)

JEICE: How's the body, sir?

GOKU!GINYU: (looking at Goku's body through a reflection in the water) Fantastic, a little too pink and hairy in odd places, but I'll grow into it.

JEICE: So, what's the plan, cap'n?

GOKU!GINYU: Well, first off, we have to touch on Frieza's balls.

The teenagers burst out laughing at Ginyu's unaware innuendo.

JEICE: (after an awkward pause) Uh, sir...

GOKU!GINYU: Yes, yes. Realized the moment I said it.

(cuts to Vegeta washing his face inside Frieza's ship)

VEGETA: (thinking) Alright, get your act together. Hundred times gravity? That's for pussies. The only reason he took those jokers out was because I loosened them up for him...like a jar of Space Pickles. Ugly, stupid Space Pickles! (puts on new armor) I just gotta get those Dragon Balls. And if it's anything like that jockstrap incident, Ginyu probably buried them somewhere around here...

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Hey Gohan, I think they're buried somewhere around here.

VEGETA: (thinking) Well...at least I'll have something to put back in the hole.

"Is it bad that I like his idea more and more?" the hammer-wielding ginger asks.

"Probably, but it doesn't sound as bad as what the White Fang do to corpses." Blake shivers as she remembers what acts the terrorist organisation.

(cuts to outside Frieza's ship)

KRILLIN: Dig like there's no tomorrow!

VEGETA: (thinking) Okay, the second they summon the dragon, I'll swoop in and break the bald one's neck! Totally gonna yell "Team Three Star" when I do it, too. Oh, I can see it now... TEAM THREE STAR! (a splattering sound is heard along with Krillin crying out in pain) Amazing.

"Wow, thats dark" Ren notes, "and his similing doesn't help either."

(Gohan and Krillin had just finished digging up the Dragon Balls)

GOHAN: We found them! Krillin, we really did it!

KRILLIN: Finally! Now let's hurry up and wish back Piccolo, Tenshinhan, and Chiaotzu.

GOHAN: What about Yamcha?

KRILLIN: What about Yamcha.

"Yeah, what about Yamcha?" Ruby asks with concern.

VEGETA: (thinking) I don't know what this "Yamcha" is, but it sounds just like Raditz.

"I just relised, that Raditz and Yamcha share similar traits," Ren mentions, "they're both disrespected by their own teammates."

"Thank Oum that nothing like that has happened." the cat Faunus remarks.

KRILLIN: Eternal Dragon... Rise up and grant our wish!

(nothing happens)

GOHAN: It's not working. Is that what you're supposed to say?

KRILLIN: Honestly, that's always been pretty vague. Usually just gather 'em together and then out pops the magic dragon.

GOHAN: Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls.

KRILLIN: Huh. Maybe if I sing to it. ♪I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...♪

GOHAN: Actually, Krillin, I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language.

KRILLIN: I don't speak German! And the only person I know who does was the toilet... And it's dead... God rest his seat.

The blonde brawler laughed at Krillin's sign of respect for a talking toilet.

(Vegeta then senses Ginyu and Jeice approaching Frieza's ship)

VEGETA: (thinking) Agh! What? Oh, you can't be serious...!

GOHAN: Huh? Hey Krillin, I feel two power levels coming this way. You don't think my dad failed, do you?

KRILLIN: No way, Gohan, your dad's the best! But on the off-chance, HIDE YOURSELF! (takes Gohan and hides behind a rock)

(Ginyu and Jeice arrive at Frieza's ship)

JEICE: Oi! Cap'n! Someone's dug up the balls!

GOKU!GINYU: Well then, someone's in for the beating of their life.

KRILLIN: Hey, Goku! Check it out, we dug up the Dragon Balls! How ya doin'? D'you win that fight against the Ginyu guy? Why's that Space New Zealand guy here?

JEICE: Aw, what the fu--

KRILLIN: And what's up with the scouter? Do you happen to know anybody who speaks German? (gets bitch-slapped by Goku!Ginyu) AHAGH!

(Krillin Owned Count: 13)

"Does he even know how to stop talking?" the heiress annoyingly questions.

KRILLIN: Augh! And what was that about?

GOHAN: Krillin, that's not my dad!

(Ginyu smirks evilly)

KRILLIN: Gohan, of course it's your dad. Goku, what's your favorite food?

GOKU!GINYU: Waldorf salad.

KRILLIN: See? Double Baconator-- Oh, s**t.

GOKU!GINYU: You see, I've acquired the body of your former associate... "Goku", was it? And with that, I've gained his power level of one hundred and eighty thousand.

"I'm going to guess that level can only be achieved through the Kaio-Ken technique." the raven haired girl assumes.

KRILLIN: That's... that's horrible!

GOKU!GINYU: Quite. I'm sure you understand now the situation you're in...

KRILLIN: That is identity theft! We're gonna sue the crap out of you!

GINYU: You can't sue me if I kill you...

KRILLIN: No; then, you'll get put on trial for murder. Ha! (gets hit) Gah!

GOHAN: (gets hit) Aah!

"He has to be in police prison and then be tested for trial, that's how it works out." JNPR's team ninja mentioned.

(Ginyu is seen beating down bot Krillin and Gohan in the air. Jeice's scouter suddenly starts beeping)

JEICE: Huh? (notices Goku arriving at the scene) Uh, cap'n? You're here...

GOKU!GINYU: What the devil are you...? (notices Goku's arrival) Oh. Aw, look what the space cat regurgitated!

GINYU!GOKU: Hey, Gohan. Hey, Krillin. Hey, Goku.

GOHAN: D-Dad?

GOKU!GINYU: I'm surprised you're still kicking. How's that wound treating you?

GINYU!GOKU: This is easily the second-worst hole I've ever had in my chest. It's gonna take, like, a million mommy kisses to make it better...

"What was the first?" Ruby asks.

"I believe its the one he recieved from Piccolo fired his 'Special Beam Cannon' on Goku and Raditz." Yang guessed.

KRILLIN: Gohan, we may have a chance now, but you'll have to give it your all. Remember, he may look like your dad, but you can absolutely not hold back...

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! (charges forward and starts beating up Ginyu) Abandoned me for a year with Piccolo, sent me off into space, and the next time I get to see you, you lost your damn body!? YOU'RE NOT EVEN YOU ANYMORE!

"DEAR MONTY OUM, calm down Gohan." Jaune suggested.

GINYU!GOKU: I don't know where he gets that from.

GOKU!GINYU: Uagh! This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?

GINYU!GOKU: Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques!

GOKU!GINYU: What techniques? Tell me!

GINYU!GOKU: I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken!

GOKU!GINYU: Kaio-wha--? (gets kicked by Gohan and Krillin at the same time) UAGH! (rebounds on Frieza's ship) Uah! Jeice! (JEICE: Huh?) If you're not too busy standing there like a slack-jawed idiot, I could use your help!

GINYU!GOKU: Wait... If I'm Ginyu now, does that mean you have to listen to me?

"Is Goku trying to be smart?" Pyrrha wonders.

JEICE: No.

"And there goes that plan." the redhaired champion concludes.

GINYU!GOKU: Oh... Well then, what about him?

(Vegeta appears behind Jeice)

VEGETA: Good day, mate. (Jeice looks at Vegeta and starts whimpering)

Even Jaune and Ruby slightly whimpered at Vegeta's enterance.

(cuts to Frieza and Nail flying in the sky)

"Wait, they're still flying?" Blake shockingly questions, "How long have they been flying for?"

FRIEZA: So... We've been flying for about twenty minutes now... Got any family...? Because if so, I probably killed them. (Nail does not respond) Really? Nothing to that...? You're no fun.

Some of the hunters giggled at Frieza's attempt of small talk.

(cuts to Vegeta and Jeice exchanging blows in the air)

VEGETA: Hey Jeice, I've killed every single one of Frieza's flunkies I've gone up against so far, six in total! How would you like to be number seven?

JEICE: Piss off, you bloody monkey! (lands a punch on Vegeta, sending him flying a few feet back)

"Thank the Brothers, Sun isn't hear." the cat Faunus mentions, leaving everyone with a confused face. "He'll take the insult a bit personally."

VEGETA: (doesn't seem that harmed) Thank you, sir. May I have another?

JEICE: What the hell happened to you? You were not this strong when you fought Recoome!

VEGETA: (holds up the Official Saiyan Handbook) Looks like YOU have some required reading to do.

JEICE: (heard flipping pages trough the handbook) Alright, let's see here... Okay, full moon...lose your tails...stronger every time you... (stunned pause) Oh. (lowers the book) Well, I'm right f**ked, aren't I?

"Yes you are." Nora deadpanned.

VEGETA: Right in the down-under.

(Vegeta kicks Jeice into the air and then chops him in the ribs. Vegeta then puts his hand in front of Jeice's face.)

JEICE: (thinking) Clever girl... (Vegeta obliterates him with a huge ki blast)

GOKU!GINYU: NO! JEICE! All of my men...I'm the only one left... Please, all of you...just...just allow me a customary moment of silence.

VEGETA: (first heard faintly but gets louder) MinemineminemineminemineMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE! (hits Ginyu to the ground) Hahaha! The best part about this? I get to kill both Ginyu AND Kakarot at the same time!

GOKU!GINYU: Wait, who’s Kakarot?

"Oh Oum!" everyone groaned out.

VEGETA: You're Kakarot.

GOKU!GINYU: I thought his name was Goku.

KRILLIN: His name is Goku!

VEGETA: No, it's Kakarot.

GOKU!GINYU: But he just said Goku.

KRILLIN: Yeah, I did.

VEGETA: I know what he said, but he--

GOKU!GINYU: So what is it? Kakarot or Goku?

VEGETA: (simultaneously) It's Kakarot!

KRILLIN: (simultaneously) It's Goku!

VEGETA: No, no, no! Just...look. His Saiyan name is Kakarot, but he changed it when he landed on Earth as a baby. So they kept calling him by his Earth name, and I am calling him by his real name!

"Good, now that that's sorted, continu-" Blake was interrupted Ginyu!Goku's question.

GINYU!GOKU: ...So does that make me Ginyu?

(Vegeta screams and starts charging full speed at Ginyu)

The hunter-trainee's chuckled at Vegeta's response to Ginyu!Goku's question.

GOKU!GINYU: (thinking) Yes... YES...! PERFECT! (out loud) Change.. NOW!

(fires an energy blast at Vegeta)

VEGETA: Gah!

GINYU!GOKU: (leaps in the way of the blast) No! I'll save you, Goku!

(Goku gets hit with the beam, changing both sides back to their original bodies)

GOHAN: What just happened?

KRILLIN: I don't know.

GOKU: (weakly, back in his own body) Yay...! I'm me again...!

KRILLIN: Wait, Goku... What is your favorite food?

GOKU: (confused) Favorite?

KRILLIN: HE'S HIM AGAIN!

The crimsonette cheered along with Krillin.

CAPTAIN GINYU: (back in his own body) This is ridiculous! But, at least I'm not trapped in some useless body. (notices Goku's crippled body)

(Vegeta appears behind Ginyu)

VEGETA: Gimme a minute... (gives Captain Ginyu a vicious beatdown)

"You were 'saiyan'?" Yang joked but only heard groaning and moaning from her friends, teammates and sister.

GOHAN: So, I'm confused... Ginyu took my dad's body, but then he tried to take Vegeta's body... And now he's back in his own body, my dad's back in his own body, and Vegeta's...

KRILLIN: Still a prick, yeah.

VEGETA: Now, to switch your body to a CORPSE!

(Vegeta throws Captain Ginyu into the sky and then charges after him. Captain Ginyu manages to recover in time and prepares his Body Change technique.)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Chaaaange...

VEGETA: (thinking) Ah crap, kinda walked into this one.

"You kinda did, yeah." Weiss bluntly stated.

CAPTAIN GINYU: .....NOW!

(Captain Ginyu fires a beam at Vegeta, the latter being unable to dodge in time. Goku is then seen holding a frog in his hand.)

GOKU: (speaking in slow motion) Ewwww, a frog!

(Goku throws the frog towards Vegeta. The beam connects at the frog, causing both sides to switch bodies.)

FROG: (in Ginyu's body) Ribbit. Ribbit. Croak.

The hunters laughed at Frog!Ginyu ribbiting.

VEGETA: The hell just happened?

GOKU: A frog got on my hand. It was gross, so I threw it.

GOHAN: So then, is it over? Are they all gone now?

VEGETA: (placing his foot on top of frog Ginyu who croaks a few times) They will be in a second.

GOKU: Vegeta, no! He can't hurt anyone anymore! Stop!

VEGETA: Oh, alright. Fine!

GOKU: See? He really can be a nice guy!

"Are yo-" the white-haired member asks but was interrupted.

VEGETA: Psyche! Eight-for-eight! (crushes frog)

GOKU, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: Awww!

"Yep, there it is."

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cut to Frieza and Nail still flying in the sky)

FRIEZA: Oh, I know. How 'bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a light bulb? The whole race! One to screw in the light bulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too. (no response from Nail) Stop ignoring me.

"Nail ignoring Frieza is the best joke I've ever see." Ruby comments, "and that's saying something." as she looks at her older sister.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

GURU: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and A... (starts snoring) ...kira Toriyama. Please support the official RELEASE!

"That has to be the funnist disclaimer of them all." Yang chuckled while the others agreed with her.

(cuts to Nail and Frieza arriving at a deserted area)

NAIL: (removes his vest) This is my people's sacred battle ground.

FRIEZA: We flew over an hour for this? It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this godforsaken rock!

NAIL: Hmph. Racist.

FRIEZA: Well, maybe so... but I can't quite be a racist against a race that doesn't exist. Like the Clorfors. Dirty, money-grubbing Clorfors. Tried to clorf me right out of my money... Blew those little bastards up is what I did.

"Yeah, fuck those Clorfors." Nora cursed out.

"Nora! You don't know what a 'Clorfors' is." her partner corrected.

NAIL: HYAAAAAH!

(Nail does a karate chop at Frieza's neck... which has no effect on the tyrant)

FRIEZA: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know we were starting. Here, allow me.

(Frieza grabs Nail's arm and rips it off)

NAIL: AAAAAAAH!

FRIEZA: Looks like someone's going to be missing this! (drops Nail's severed arm)

NAIL: No, not really.

FRIEZA: Hm?

NAIL: HRRRAAAAAH! (regenerates his arm)

"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot that Namekians can regrow their limbs." said Pyrrha.

FRIEZA: Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot. Are you okay?

"Aww he cares." Ruby cooed.

NAIL: I'm fine...!

FRIEZA: Good to know. Yoink! (rips off Nail's arm again)

NAIL: URRRGG...

"Oh, i guess not."

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Frieza's ship, where Goku is placed inside a healing tank)

GOHAN: So, what exactly is this?

VEGETA: It's a healing tank. This will bring the idiot back to full strength.

GOKU: (thinking) Heh heh, the bubbles tickle... Heh heh, ow...! It hurts to laugh... Heh heh, ow...! Heh heh, ow...! Heh heh, ow...!

VEGETA: It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has... And it's kind of an old one.

KRILLIN: What happened to the newer model?

VEGETA: Blew it the f**k up.

KRILLIN: What, did it have an opinion?

"Dayum!" Yang shockingly gasped out.

VEGETA: Eat me. Now both of you... (in a deep voice) STRIP.

KRILLIN: Ummmm...

"At least buy them a drink first." Jaune joked, and it was a fairly good one too becasue Yang was laughing from the inside out.

VEGETA: I've got body armor for you.

"Oh..." Pyrrha somewhat blushing.

KRILLIN: Less awkward...

"I agree." Weiss acknowledges.

(shifts to Gohan and Krillin removing their regular clothes and putting on the Battle Armor)

KRILLIN: You know, Gohan, it just occurred to me.

GOHAN: Yeah, Krillin?

KRILLIN: We're still on Namek.

GOHAN: What do you mean?

KRILLIN: Well, I mean, it feels like we've been here for like, a year.

GOHAN: But we've only been here for six days.

"I'm going to presume that planets have their own flows of time compaired to others." Blake theoriesed.

KRILLIN: I know, right? Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name again? Hey, Vegeta. What was that one guy's name? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?

(Krillin's head turns into Nappa in Vegeta's imagination)

NAPPA: Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?

"If that's not creepy then I don't know what is." Jaune stated.

VEGETA: Goddammit, Nappa.

KRILLIN: Oh, right! Good ol' Goddamnit, Nappa.

GOHAN: Krillin, we should probably focus on finding a way to use the Dragon Balls.

KRILLIN: Well, there's always Little Green, but...

"His name is Dende." the crimsonette corrected.

GOHAN: But what?

KRILLIN: That's a really long flight...

GOHAN: Krillin...

KRILLIN: Plus, I think I sense some hostility...

GOHAN: Krillin!!!

KRILLIN: Fine, fine! I'll go get him. Enjoy your company. (leaves the ship)

VEGETA: Try not to get yourself killed. God forbid you make me happy.

GOHAN: You know, you seem like you're in a bad mood. Maybe you should take a nap.

VEGETA: Maybe YOU should... Eh, actually, that sounds good.

(shifts to Vegeta and Gohan outside Frieza's ship)

VEGETA: You keep guard out here. Make sure not to go too far; I like my meat shields within bullet-blocking distance.

GOHAN: I didn't think bullets could hurt you.

"They can't." Weiss remembered back from the first episode when Raditz catched a bullet and fired it back at the shooter.

VEGETA: Shut up, I'm sleepy.

"No your an idiot." Nora insulted.

(shifts to Goku inside the healing tank)

GOKU: (thinking) Heh heh, ow...! Heh heh, ow...! Heh heh, ow...! Heh heh...

KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku! Goku, are you there?

GOKU: (thinking) Oh, hey, King Kai. I'm in a healing pod.

KING KAI: (from his planet) I noticed, I wasn't paying attention. (telepathically) What the hell?

GOKU: (thinking) Well, when I got down I ran into some really weird guys. One was really big and muscly; he went down real easy. Then these two guys double teamed me, one of them took it really hard in the back, but the other didn't seem that interested, so he went and brought this really horny guy!

GEORGE TAKEI: (telepathically) Oh my...

GOKU: (thinking) Who's that, King Kai?

KING KAI: It's George Takei. Somehow he made this into a three-way...

"Be careful with your word choice." said Ren.

GEORGE TAKEI: (telepathically) Oh my...!

KING KAI: CALL! THREE-WAY CALL!

"And yet you use Verizon." the heiress remarked.

(cuts back to Planet Namek with a splattering sound being heard off-screen)

NAIL: AAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!

"Oh, that's still going?" Pyrrha questions.

(camera shows an exhausted Nail and Frieza, with a pile of Nail's severed arms in the middle of the ground)

"BY THE BROTHERS, HOW MANY ARMS DID FRIEZA RIP OFF?!" Blake loudly asks in shock.

FRIEZA: How many arms do you think we're up to...? I think we're up to twenty-four.

NAIL: HRAAAAAAHHHHH! (fires a ki blast directly at Frieza)

FRIEZA: (shown completely unscathed) Tell me. (Nail gasps) Have you ever heard of the planet "Vegeta"?

"Why would he?" JNPR's leader confusionly wonders.

NAIL: N-No?

FRIEZA: Funny. Because I expect to hear the same from the next person when I ask them about Namek. (punches Nail in the face, causing him to fall down in pain) Oh, was that your nose? That was your nose. I've had a worse time, you know. It's not often I dirty my own hands with this sort of grunt work. There's always a certain amount of satisfaction I get out of doing it myself.

(Frieza begins laughing with Nail joining in, who's still covering his face)

FRIEZA: Ah... It is kind of funny, isn't it?

NAIL: Aha. I'm... I'm laughing at something else, actually.

FRIEZA: Eh, heh, heh, heh. What?

NAIL: The earthlings have the password.

FRIEZA: .... What?

NAIL: Remember the little Namekian you passed on the way to Guru's? On his way to the humans with the password.  By now, he's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon. Haha!

"You're dumb for not realising it sooner, Frieza." the cat Faunus smilies.

(Frieza is seen grunting, barely concealing his rage)

NAIL: Yeah, if I had to guess your biggest mistake, it would be not stopping him. That, or the purple lipstick.

FRIEZA: I WILL F**KING MURDER YOU!!!

NAIL: Whatever.

"He's worked with Guru, he doesn't give a damn." the ginger-haired girl giggled.

(Frieza flies off towards his ship)

FRIEZA: (checks his scouter, which starts beeping) Why aren't the Ginyus showing up!? Oh, they're dead. WHY ARE THEY DEAD!?

"Circle of life." Ruby and Yang sang.

(cuts to Dende flying in the sky)

KRILLIN: Stop right there, Namekian scum!

DENDE: AAAAAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: Haha! You should see the look on your face! Oh, I'm just kidding, it's me, Krillin!

DENDE: AAAAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: Haha! You're killing me, Little Green! Now come on, we gotta go summon the dragon.

DENDE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(cuts to Gohan waiting in front of Frieza's ship, sitting on a Dragon Ball)

GOHAN: (thinking) You know, it's not so bad... I mean sure, I've seen more people die than most people my age, or really, most people in general. "You make it seem like it's no big deal." Pyrrha stated "and five isn't that big number in general.", Then again, I don't really know anyone my own age. My best friends are a 26-year-old dwarf and a giant green alien who constantly hits me. "Tough love relationships." Yang joked, Still, better than my dad; at least they're AROUND! Huh... Where did that come from?

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Hey, Gohan!

GOHAN: Huh? That sounds like Krillin. (flies up to Krillin and Dende) Wow, you made it in no time at all!

KRILLIN: Yeah... Little Green here was on his way back from Guru's. He said he can help us summon the dragon!

GOHAN: Great! I'll go get Vegeta and--

KRILLIN: No, no, no, see? That's the best part! We're not gonna TELL Vegeta!

GOHAN: That sounds like a very dangerous idea that could very easily backfire...

"Duh..." said Jaune.

KRILLIN: Well, we can either take the wishes for ourselves or give them to Vegeta. And I'm not gonna lie, I don't think he's dedicated to Team Three Star at all.

"What makes you say that HUH?" the blonde brawler sarcastically suggested.

GOHAN: You know, I've been meaning to tell you. That name... really doesn't sound very good.

KRILLIN: Well, why didn't you tell me sooner? I thought it was stupid from the beginning, but nobody said anything!

GOHAN: Let's just go summon the dragon and go home.

KRILLIN: Yeah, fine. Whatever.

(shifts to Gohan spying on Vegeta, who is sleeping)

VEGETA: (talking in his sleep) First immortality... then the bitches...

"Life priorities, everyone." Weiss stated in a sarcastic manner.

(Gohan carefully climbs down the ship and nods at Krillin and Dende, with Krillin nodding back. The three then take all seven Dragon Balls and carefully fly away from Frieza's ship, all while "Minnie The Moocher" plays in the background.)

KRILLIN: We did it...! Again! For real this time, though! Now we just can have Little Green summon the dragon, and we'll finally have our wish!

GOHAN: (senses something heading their way) Hey, is that Frieza?

KRILLIN: No...

GOHAN: I think that's Frieza.

KRILLIN: No, it's not!

"Is he denialling Frieza's existance?" the Mistral champion questions.

"Well Krillin is a coward and the weakest to others like Goku, Vegeta, and even Gohan. So, yeah, he's denying it." the Schnee heiress commented.

GOHAN: Yeah, that's definitely Frieza.

KRILLIN: (to Dende extremely quickly) Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit...! (continues saying "Summon it! faintly off-screen)

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon) Rise, grand Porunga, and grant our wish!

KRILLIN: Dammit, stop speaking gibberish and summon the--

(Porunga gets summoned out of the Dragon Balls)

"Holy Grimm! That dragon makes Shenron look like a peice of string." Pyrrha shockingly commented.

KRILLIN: Holy crap. Your dragon's on steroids.

"That's an understatement." Jaune whimpered.

PORUNGA: (in Namekian/Klingon) I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I-- (notices Krillin) … Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge!

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon) Actually, they are earthlings.

PORUNGA: (in Namekian/Klingon) God, they're ugly.

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon) And annoying.

PORUNGA: (in Namekian/Klingon) Whatever. Let's get this over with. I will grant you any three wishes!

KRILLIN: All right! We can finally get our wish!

DENDE: The dragon says he'll give ya three.

KRILLIN: Wait a minute, we get three wishes? That's awesome! I want a three-foot--

KING KAI: (telepathically) Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!

KRILLIN: Holy, crap! I can hear a voice in my head!

DENDE: Is it telling you my name is Dende?

The hunters lightly chuckled at Dende's question.

KRILLIN: Hush, Little Green! The voice speaks to me.

(shifts to King Kai on his planet)

KING KAI: This is King Kai. (referring to Piccolo, Tien, Yamcha, and Chiaotzu) Wish these guys back to life before I kill myself.

KRILLIN: Wait, can gods kill themselves?

KING KAI: I'M ABOUT TO TRY!

KRILLIN: All right, Little Green, use our first wish to bring our friends back to life!

DENDE: Porunga can only bring back one person at a time.

KRILLIN: Oh... King Kai, he says it can only bring one person back at--

KING KAI: I heard him!

TIEN: Which means, one of us gets left behind.

PICCOLO: Just wish me back.

KING KAI: I guess we should ask Yamcha what he thinks.

YAMCHA: (inhales)

PICCOLO: No one cares what Yamcha thinks! "THANK YOU!" Blake shout out, (telepathically) Listen, if you wish me back, then that wishes Kami back. Then you can use THOSE Dragon Balls to wish these morons back.

KRILLIN: Which leaves us with two more wishes! Let's wish him to Namek!

"Wait, what?" Everyone questions in unison.

GOHAN: Wait, what?

PICCOLO: Wait, what?

KRILLIN: Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek!

PICCOLO: Hold on a minute... (Porunga's eyes glowing) Don't do that! That is a terrible i... (gets transported to Planet Namek) ...dea! (off-screen) AUUUUUUUUUGH!!!

DENDE: He is on Namek.

GOHAN: Wait, where is he?

"He just told you." Ruby corrected.

DENDE: On Namek.

PICCOLO: (to Krillin, off-screen) YOU DUMBASS!

"I agree." Weiss said while trying to hold back on laughing.

KRILLIN: Why didn't it bring him here?

DENDE: You must be specific.

GOHAN: Oh, so it’s a sort of monkey’s paw. You have to be careful with the hubris in your wishes.

"NERRRRRRD!!" everyone shouted out.

PICCOLO: (off-screen) NERRRRRRD!!!

"Told ya." Nora giggled.

(shifts to Vegeta sleeping next to Goku inside the healing tank. Vegeta suddenly wakes up and gets up on his feet)

VEGETA: I have to pee! (starts running but stops and looks out a window) Jesus, I overslept. It’s already night... For the first time since I got here... on a planet with three suns...

(animation of an alarm clock appears in Vegeta's head, ringing when the big hand teaches twelve)

VEGETA: (realizes that the others have summoned Porunga without him) Oh, you MOTHERFU...

(shifts back to Gohan and Krillin)

VEGETA: (off-screen) ...UCKERS!!!

PICCOLO: (off-screen) OW, MY EARS!!!

GOHAN: So, what do we do with the third wish?

KRILLIN: Well, if nobody else has any ideas, I want my three-foot--

VEGETA: (shows up, visibly furious) Hey! What's up, guys?!

KRILLIN: I'm never gonna get my hoagie.

"I thought he wanted to get taller." Ren assumed.

VEGETA: So what are you doin'?!

GOHAN: What am I doin'?!

VEGETA: What are you doin'?!

GOHAN: Nothin' much!

VEGETA: Thwartin' my plans?!

GOHAN: Thwartin' your plans?!

VEGETA: ARE YOU?!

GOHAN: (bluntly) ...Yes.

VEGETA: ...I'm gonna f**king kill you! (walks up and grabs Dende by the scarf) But first... you are going to give me my wish for immortality, or I will snap his neck!

KRILLIN: Wait! He's the only one who can ask the dragon to grant wishes!

VEGETA: Then I've got nothing to lose!

DENDE: Whatever.

VEGETA: Good answer! (throws Dende to the ground, who grunts) Now get to wishing.

(shifts to Guru inside his house)

GURU: (thinking) I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon... Would be a real dick move do die right now... Huuurr!!

"And he's pulling that 'dick move', isn't he?" Ruby wonders.

(shifts back to the group and Porunga)

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon about to make a wish for Vegeta to become immortal) Grant him immor--

(Porunga suddenly disintegrates and all the Dragon Balls turn to stone)

The hunters were in a state of shock that the Namekian Dragon Balls turned to stone.

VEGETA: Is... I-Is that normal?

DENDE: No... It's dead. And that means Guru is too.

KRILLIN: I'm so sorry for your loss.

DENDE: Someone has to be.

Yang and Nora lightly chuckle at Dende's response.

VEGETA: That doesn't matter! Don't you understand?! If it didn't grant me my wish, then I'm not immortal! And Frieza's going to... g-going to... (starts stammering in fear)

(Krillin looks up and starts whimpering in fear. Frieza has finally arrived at the scene)

FRIEZA: Ohohoho, no, don't mind me. By all means... give me some ideas.

"The hunters expressions showed even more shock when Frieza finished his sentense.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cuts to Mr. Popo humming and watering plants on Kami's Lookout)

KAMI: (gets poofed back on the Lookout) Fan-freaking-tastic, we're back here again...

MR. POPO: Oh, you're back. Hi, Kami.

KAMI: Mr. Popo, what are you watering?

MR. POPO: Pot.

KAMI: Pots of what?

"He just told you."

MR. POPO: Pot... I'm not getting rid of it.

KAMI: Are you kidding? That s**t's great for my glaucoma.

The hunters giggled at Kami's need for pot for his 'glaucoma'.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

NAIL: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to Piccolo on Planet Namek)

PICCOLO: Urgh, what was that idiot DOING bringing me here! It's... Wait a minute, I can feel it... This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields, the crystal clear waters, the wind brushing past my... GOD, THIS IS BORING!!! (groans) No wonder I feel at home.

The hunters laughed at Piccolo's assestment of Planet Namek.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Frieza confronting Vegeta, Gohan, Krillin, and Dende)

FRIEZA: Well, Vegeta. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see.

KRILLIN: Quack!

GOHAN: Krillin, seriously, not helping!

KRILLIN: I can try.

"No you can't." Weiss bluntly stated.

FRIEZA: I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?

KRILLIN: We're from Ear--

GOHAN: Krillin, no!

KRILLIN: Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Gohan. 'Cause I can't shut--

DENDE: They're from Earth.

"You tratior!" Ruby shouted out.

KRILLIN: Little Green, why?!

DENDE: Because my name is Dende.

FRIEZA: Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!!! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID.

VEGETA: Oh, Frieza. Quit being such a woman.  I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it.

FRIEZA: Yes, Vegeta. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it. (charges at Vegeta and engages him in battle) HYAAAAAAAAH!

(cuts to Piccolo flying through the sky)

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts and sighing) Everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet! (sees something) Wait a minute, a body! (out loud) SOCIAL ACTIVITY! (Piccolo flies down and lands next to a body, which is Nail's) Please tell me you're not dead!

NAIL: (speaks in Namekian/Klingon)

PICCOLO: Ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles-- and he's so broken he can't even talk right.

"If only Gohan was here, i'm sure he speaks nerd." Yang giggled.

NAIL: I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?

PICCOLO: Well, we're demons, right?

NAIL: Eh, more like slug people.

PICCOLO: Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon.

"Pretty sure demons are more terrifying than you." said Blake. 

NAIL: And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect.

PICCOLO: Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?

NAIL: Let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole.

PICCOLO: Preachin' to the choir on that one. Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again... (turns to leave)

NAIL: Wait. I might be able to help you.

PICCOLO: Look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago. (turns to leave again)

NAIL: No, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely.

PICCOLO: (loudly) DESPERA-- (normal tone) I mean, go on.

NAIL: There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.

PICCOLO: And we're just going to abuse it?

NAIL: Oh, maliciously!

PICCOLO: Bitchin'! How we do?

NAIL: Well, first you put your hand upon me.

PICCOLO: 'Kay. (places his hand on Nail's elbow)

NAIL: Yes. Like that. Now lower.

PICCOLO: Uh-huh.

NAIL: Lower.

"Where is this going?" Ruby confusionly asks.

PICCOLO: Hmm...

NAIL: Little lower.

PICCOLO: Hmm...

NAIL: Ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now. "Gross!" Ruby gagged, (Piccolo groans) Fusing!

(Piccolo fuses with Nail)

"Oh, kinky." the blonde brawler cooed.

"Yang, stop it." Blake snapped.

PICCOLO: Wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA...

NAIL: (heard inside Piccolo's head) (What are you doing?)

PICCOLO: (stammers quickly) Nothing.

NAIL: (Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.)

"How is he talking to him?" Jaune wonders.

PICCOLO: Are you in my head?

NAIL: (Yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later.)

"Probably later." Weiss guess'.

PICCOLO: Okay. So, what now?

NAIL: (By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard who killed our people.)

PICCOLO: And?

NAIL: (Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this!)

PICCOLO: Oh, ha-ha!

Even the hunters laughed at Nail's mockery of Piccolo.

(cuts to Vegeta and Frieza in a brawler lock)

FRIEZA: Impudent... little... (scouter shows "F**K THIS I'M OUT" before exploding) Guh!

(Vegeta and Frieza both back off, producing a small crater due to their power)

FRIEZA: I'm impressed, Vegeta. When did you graduate from pull-ups?

VEGETA: About the same time you got off the rag.

FRIEZA: Cute. But bear no false hopes, Vegeta. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess.

VEGETA: It's that you can transform, right?

FRIEZA: I can transform... Okay, when and how?

VEGETA: Guldo told me.

(flashback of a conversation between Vegeta and Guldo)

GULDO: So... Did you know that Frieza can transform?

VEGETA: Huh. That right?

GULDO: Yeah. And Burter's gay.

"So Burter's second name is Chuck?" Nora said out loud.

"Oh Oum, Zarbon and Burter are a thing?" Weiss shivers at the mentioning of the thought.

VEGETA: (genuinely surprised) Really!?

(back to present)

VEGETA: And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story.

FRIEZA: Right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?

VEGETA: Because Frieza. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!

FRIEZA: Oh, here we go!

VEGETA: That's right, Frieza. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend-- the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist! (Frieza starts speaking faintly at this point) I, Prince Vegeta, have become a... (voice completely trails off)

FRIEZA: ...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia.

"Slayed the what and saved where?" Pyrrha confusionly asks.

VEGETA: Go ahead and mock me, Frieza, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz.

"I think Vegeta's badass level has increased by a lot from just his 'I'm a Super Saiyan' speech." Yang admits.

FRIEZA: Fine. I'll indulge you, Mr. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you.

VEGETA: Funny how?

FRIEZA: I like to call it, "I killed your dad".

VEGETA: So "ha-ha" funny.

FRIEZA: You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans...

(flashback to planet Vegeta)

BUTAREGA: King Vegeta, I have urgent news!

KING VEGETA: Speak, Butarega.

BUTAREGA: Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!

BARDOCK: (off-screen) Friezaaaaaa!

"so does this mean that the Bardock special episode is canon?" Ren wonders, slightly remebering it as 'non-canon'.

KING VEGETA: What's all the commotion about?

BUTAREGA: He's been telling everyone that Frieza plans to destroy Vegeta!

KING VEGETA: Wait, my son, the planet, or me?

"I feel as if we're going to hear that a lot more at some point." the cat Faunus stated.

BUTAREGA: ...Yes.

(King Vegeta blasts Butarega away)

KING VEGETA: Freakin' smartass. (shows Nappa wearing Jafar's headdress) Counselor Nappa, what do you think?

"Wait, what?!" everyone questions in confusion.

NAPPA: Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit him down...

"Oh get right off!" Nora cheered.

KING VEGETA: Uh-huh.

NAPPA: ...you look him dead in the eye...

KING VEGETA: Yes.

NAPPA: ...and you say, "Don’t blow up my planet."

KING VEGETA: And you think that will work?

NAPPA: He'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of his jib.

KING VEGETA: All right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south.

NAPPA: Don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine.

(shifts to King Vegeta approaching Frieza, Zarbon, and Dodoria)

KING VEGETA: Frieza, can I sit down and have a word with--

FRIEZA: SHORYUKEN! (uppercuts King Vegeta in the jaw, causing the latter to fall back while producing with an echoing scream)

STREET FIGHTER ANNOUNCER: K.O.! YOU WIN!

"Where did that come from?" the heiress asks in uter confusion.

FRIEZA: Yatta.

(back to present)

FRIEZA: And then I blew the planet up. The end.

VEGETA: How did you know about the parts you weren’t there for?

(Frieza gives a blank stare at Vegeta and then proceeds to transform)

GOHAN: Krillin, do you feel that?

KRILLIN: I taste that!

"and with all that purple, you know it going to be grape flavoured." Ruby assumes.

(Frieza finishes transforming into his second form)

FRIEZA: All done. And judging by the expression on your face, so are you.

VEGETA: What...? How?

FRIEZA: Let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million.

"Well, there probably dead." Jaune whimpers.

VEGETA: You're lying!

FRIEZA: Am I? Am I really?

"That voice is sooo sexy... no homo." said Yang.

(Frieza raises his hand and explodes the island that everyone is currently standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Frieza is shown standing on what's left of the island.)

VEGETA: (off-screen) Not impressed! I can do that, too!

GOHAN: Krillin, are you okay?

KRILLIN: Yeah, and I've got Little Green right here!

FRIEZA: (sings to "My Favorite Things")
♪Peaceful young races with fires on their houses♪
♪Millions of voices all silenced like mouses♪
♪Watching the cowards bow toward their new king♪
♪These are a few of my favorite things♪

"I'm not the only one creeped out right now, right?" the crimsonette asks to her friends, who responses with a nodding 'yes'.

KRILLIN: Is it just me, or is he singing to himself?

(Frieza charges at Krillin and impales him with one of his horns, causing Krillin to drop Dende)

(Krillin Owned Count: 15)

KRILLIN: Gah!

GOHAN: Krillin!

VEGETA: (thinking) Well, he's dead.

Yang and Nora softly laughed at Vegeta's deadpanning.

KRILLIN: This is... the worst... pai-i-i-in!

FRIEZA: Really? Sure it isn’t this? (looks up and starts shifting his head up and down) Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? (Krillin Owned Count: 16-21, with two 1Ups coming up in the last two ones)

GOHAN: Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!

KRILLIN: (while getting tortured by Frieza) I-can't-help-it!

(Krillin Owned Count: 22-25)

FRIEZA: One down! (throws Krillin off his horn and towards the lake) Ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person.

"Ohhhh myyyyy!" Yang cooed.

GOHAN: You condescending... sadistic.... callous... MOTHERF**KER!!!

FRIEZA: Pardon?

(Gohan attacks Frieza by kicking and punching him in the face before knocking him upward with an uppercut and finally kicks him towards the ground. Gohan then starts charging up an energy blast.)

"YEAH! Smash his teeth in Gohan!" Jaune and Ruby cheered.

GOHAN: (thinking) GOHAN SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! GOHAN STRONGEST THERE IS!

(Gohan launches a ki blast directly at Frieza, causing a massive explosion. Gohan is then seen in midair catching his breath. Frieza is seen lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Gohan's assault.)

VEGETA: Yeah, how's that feel, Frieza? Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL (Frieza is seen getting up) Saiyan... (voice trails off)

FRIEZA: Huh. That happened. Vegeta, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter.

GOHAN: (thinking) Think! What would Dad do in this situation?

"Bad choice of thinking." Ren admits.

(flashback of Goku wearing a backpack)

GOKU: Bye, son!

(back to present)

GOHAN: I'm beginning to think I have issues... "Better find a good psychiatrist." Weiss suggested, (gets punched by Frieza) AAAH! (hits the ground and tries to get up, but gets crushed by Frieza's foot) AAAH! GAH!

FRIEZA: So, Vegeta. Does this get you angry?

VEGETA: Not really. Kind of a smartass.

FRIEZA: Well then, why am I even bothering?

VEGETA: Because you get off on it?

FRIEZA: Oh, unbelievably... Huh? (tail gets cut off by a Kienzan) Alright, who has the balls?!

(Camera zooms on to Krillin, who is the one responsible for cutting off Frieza's tail. Krillin then turns around and starts repeatedly spanking his butt.)

KRILLIN: Kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!

(Frieza growls angrily and flies after Krillin)

KRILLIN: (imitates Curly's whooping sounds while flying away) Suuuck myy diiii...

The hunter-trainees chuckled at Krillin's tonting.

(shifts to Vegeta)

VEGETA: (thinking) How the hell did he get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd... (stops himself and opens his mouth in shock. Speaks out loud after a short pause.) That... bastard.

(shifts to Dende healing Gohan)

DENDE: Come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!

GOHAN: (regaining consciousness) I... you... healed me.

DENDE: You are the only one I respect.

GOHAN: Then why did you heal Krillin?

DENDE: The better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?

"Why indeed." Pyrrha wonders.

(Krillin flies back to the battlefield)

KRILLIN: Holy crap! Thank God I’m immortal!

DENDE: (off-screen) Actually, I healed you, you idiot!

KRILLIN: Wait, so I could have died back there?

VEGETA: Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.

KRILLIN: Hax! I call hax!

"You can't call it a 'hax' if its apart of them." Weiss mentions.

GOHAN: How did you escape?

KRILLIN: Oh, it was awesome! (flashback of Frieza chasing Krillin) See, he was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose him in some crevices, but he kept cutting me off at every pass.

(back to present)

VEGETA: He didn't just blow it up?

KRILLIN: I thought the same thing, but no! (flashback of Krillin using the Solar Flare on Frieza, showing Dodoria in a lingerie for a brief moment) So I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on him!

(back to present)

GOHAN: And then you used your Kienzan to cut him in half?

"You do realise this is Krillin we're speaking about." JNPR'S ninja reminds.

KRILLIN: Um...

FRIEZA: (flies back to the battlefield, angrily) I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!

KRILLIN: To answer your question, Gohan. No, I did not do that.

VEGETA: Douse this bitch!

(Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin fire a barrage of energy blasts at Frieza, covering him in smoke)

KRILLIN: Did we get him?

"Nope." Ruby admits.

GOHAN: Krillin, we can feel his energy. Why do you bother asking?

KRILLIN: I'm an optimist.

"No you're not." Weiss seeing through his lie.

VEGETA: You're an idiot.

"Yes he is." Blake adds on.

FRIEZA: (unfazed by the blasts) You're both wrong. You're dead.

"Also true." Jaune whimpers in conclusion.

GOHAN: You know what? I'm sick of this. If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Piccolo would! (moves in to attack Frieza head-on)

"Jumping in front of a Ki Blast?" the ginger-haired girl said, while remembering how Piccolo died from Nappa.

KRILLIN: Gohan, no! (flies after Gohan)

VEGETA: No, goddamn it! (also flies after Gohan)

(A new figure surrounded by light appears in front of the trio. The light clears, and the figure is revealed to be Piccolo, arriving at the battlefield, as "Battle with Magus" from Chrono Trigger Resurrection plays in the background)

GOHAN: M... Mr. Piccolo!

FRIEZA: Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you. But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to-- (gets sent flying by a punch from Piccolo) DOAH!

PICCOLO: Just one.

"Even Piccolo's badass level has increased too." Yang notices.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(Super Mario Bros. theme song plays in the background as Frieza is seen under a ? Block from the Mario series and headbutts it, revealing a Super Mushroom. Frieza touches the mushroom and "powers up" into his second form.)

"That's... disburbing." Ruby admits.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

DENDE: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to Piccolo and Frieza exchanging blows in midair)

FRIEZA: To think your race had the ability to produce such capable fighters. I'm surprised I hadn't destroyed you sooner.

PICCOLO: And to think your race has the ability to produce such whiny bitches. I'm surprised anyone can take you seriously.

(Piccolo kicks Frieza in the face)

VEGETA: Wait a damn minute, something's wrong here.

GOHAN: Huh?

VEGETA: Back on your planet, the Namek couldn't even stand up to Nappa. Yet here he is now, taking on Frieza. In his second form!

GOHAN: What do you think happened?

VEGETA: Well, either Frieza hit me so hard I'm in a delusional coma, or...

GOHAN: Or?

VEGETA: Power levels are bulls**t!

"And it took you this long enough to figure that out, Vegeta." Jaune notices.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cuts to Piccolo charging at Frieza and engaging him in a brawler lock)

NAIL: (Wow, you're really kicking his ass.)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Oh, you're still here.

NAIL: (Yeah, I've just been watching you knock this guy around. Kinda bored...wishin’ I had something to do. You got any ideas?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Now is not the time!

"Since when did Piccolo have laser eyes?" Blake questions with Ruby awing in amazment.

(Piccolo fires an eye blast at Frieza, stunning the latter for a brief moment, and then kicks him in the face before punching him in the stomach)

GOHAN: Piccolo's actually standing up to him, Krillin!

KRILLIN: I don’t believe it... We may actually win!

"You probably jinxed it just now, Krillin." Yang mentions.

VEGETA: Yeah, that's just, uh, great... If you'll excuse me, though, I've, uh, gotta... Bye! (powers up and flies off)

"COWARD!" Nora shouted out.

FRIEZA: (thinking as he sees Vegeta flying away) Oh, for the love of...

PICCOLO: (charges at Frieza) GAAAAH!

FRIEZA: Time out.

PICCOLO: (stops) Huh?

FRIEZA: Would you hold on for a moment, please? I'll be right back. (starts powering up)

VEGETA: (thinking) All right, I've just gotta find one of the Ginyu's ships, and get the hell out of here! I'll just go to Frieza Planet 419. No one ever goes to Frieza Planet 419. Not since its species miraculously repopulated.

"Not with Frieza chasing you." Pyrrha states.

(cut to shot of "Frieza Planet 419, A.K.A. Kanassa")

KANASSAN 1: I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!

KANASSAN 2: BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KID!

KANASSAN 3: THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!

KANASSAN 4: CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FORM!

KANASSAN 5: GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUY!

KANASSAN 6: GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAP!

"Not his fault!" JNPR's leader defends.

(cuts back to Vegeta flying in the sky before getting cut off by Frieza)

FRIEZA: So, Vegeta, where are you going?

VEGETA: Oh, you know... Places.

FRIEZA: Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?

VEGETA: Actually, that looks more like a pla- (gets punched by Frieza) -TEAUUUUUUUUUU! (gets smashed into a pile of rocks)

"NERRRRRRD!!" the hammer-wielding ginger screamed.

"Still want to disagree with him?" Ren questions.

FRIEZA: Sorry about that. Where were we?

"In an epic battle." Yang responded.

PICCOLO: Last time I checked, I was planting my foot firmly somewhere between your lungs and colon.

FRIEZA: An admirable feat for a lowlife such as yourself. I have a question for you, though.

PICCOLO: What's that?

FRIEZA: Die.

PICCOLO: That's...not...a...question. (gets punched by Frieza into the ground) Aaaah!

FRIEZA: That's because I don't do requests.

"So no 'Careless Whisper', then." Weiss wonders.

VEGETA: (barely conscious) Well, that didn't last real f**king long.

(Piccolo is seen climbing out from under the rocks)

FRIEZA: Oh, come on, now, that was just a love tap.

"Frieza can feel romance?" the blonde brawler questions.

PICCOLO: Don't think you have the upper hand yet. I'm still wearing weighted armor. (removes his cape and turban and then cracks his neck and knuckles)

KRILLIN: Oh man, that sounded good, now I have to do my neck. "Don't do it Krillin." Ruby warns, (cracks his neck) Oowww! My neck!

"I did warn you." the crimsonette protests.

(Krillin Owned Count: 26)

FRIEZA: Weighted armor. How quaint. And how much does it weigh?

PICCOLO: Same as it always does. One hundred kilo-- (Frieza is seen smirking) Oh...

FRIEZA: That's just cute!

PICCOLO: That...concept just sort of lost meaning after a while, didn't it?

FRIEZA: True. But I have one that's nice, fresh, and ripe for abuse. Transformation. And spoiler warning: it's not getting old anytime soon.

"I have a feeling that more or less everyone is going to use it later in the series." Yang assumes. Oh how right you are.

PICCOLO: You can't be serious!

"Yes he is, Piccolo." Jaune whimpers.

FRIEZA: Oh, but I am. See, I'm merely...

(Frieza continues speaking in the background as Nail's voice cuts in, talking to Piccolo)

NAIL: (Hey, man. Can I talk you about something really quick?)

PICCOLO: I'm seriously in the middle of something right now.

NAIL: (Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like no apps in here. I have already played the crap out of Minesweeper.)

PICCOLO: Could you just-- Wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper!? I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae.

NAIL: (I didn't even know we could do that.)

"Probably because you don't HAVE internet." the cat Faunus annoyingly argues.

(Frieza starts powering up)

PICCOLO: Well, you learn something new everyday. Now could you let me focus--?

NAIL: (Hey... You wanna play me in Minesweeper?)

(Frieza begins to transform)

PICCOLO: You can't play someone at Minesweeper; that's a single-player game!

NAIL: (Nah, see, first I go then you go and try to beat my time and... hey, is he transforming?)

PICCOLO: Huh? DAMN IT!

(Frieza finishes transforming into his third form)

"Well, shit's going to get real." Yang bluntly states

"JESUS OUM, THAT'S HIS THIRD FORM?! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WANT HIS NEXT ONE LOOKS LIKE!" Jaune shouted out in shock.

FRIEZA: So Namekian, what do you think of my third form?

"I think it's creepy." Pyrrha shivers.

PICCOLO: I think Ridley Scott's gonna sue somebody.

"Exactly, Piccolo." Ren agrees.

"Wait, Ridley Scott? The guy who created the Alien movies?" the scythe-wielder questions with her sister confirming it.

FRIEZA: What are you talking about? (an alien tongue pops out of his mouth and starts jabbering before retracting)Let me touch your skin!

Everyone jumped from their seating positions in shock of Frieza's... tongue poping out.

PICCOLO: (seemingly disturbed) Ahh!

GOHAN: Oh, no! This is horrible! How could this happen?

"Unoriginality?" Weiss guess'.

VEGETA: He's going to kill us all!

"Why did you let him transform them?" Blake questions in annoyance.

KRILLIN: (neck still stuck) HELP ME!

"Kinda too late for that Krillin." Yang uncontrollably giggles.

(Piccolo charges at Frieza and tries to attack him with a flurry of punches, but Frieza easily dodges each of his attacks. Piccolo then tries a head-on attack, but Frieza blasts him away.)

FRIEZA: Poor little Namekian. Can't touch me anymore. How about this? Let's play a game. Ever heard of "paintball"?

Yeah we have." Ruby answers.

PICCOLO: Yeah...

FRIEZA: Just remove the "t".

PICCOLO: I don't get-- (Frieza shoots him in the knee) OH-HO! I get it!

"Oh paintball, painball. I GET IT!" Nora shouts out.

FRIEZA: Now, for your other glubok! (shoots Piccolo in the other knee)

"The Grimm's a 'glu-bock'?" Jaune confusingly wonders.

"Sounds like it really hurts." Pyrrha admits.

PICCOLO: You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you?

"Well to be fair Piccolo, neither are we." Ren corrects.

FRIEZA: It doesn't matter! I'll hit your glubok somewhere.

"I don't think it works like that." the heiress corrects.

(Freeza starts bombarding Piccolo with a barrage of finger beams)

GOHAN: Piccolo, no! (charges towards Frieza)

KRILLIN: Ah, not this crap again! (tries to fly after Gohan but Vegeta grabs his leg)

VEGETA: Hold on! I Have an idea-- and I don’t want to hear any of your stupid crap.

KRILLIN: I only promise to try.

VEGETA: I need you to–and follow me on this one–almost kill me.

"YAY ZENKAI ABUSE!" the hammer-wielder screams out.

Wha?" everyone looks at her in confusion.

KRILLIN: Almost... kill you.

"You heard him correctly Krillin." Weiss confirms.

VEGETA: Yeah.

KRILLIN: And there's no repercussion for this...?

"He's going to beat the shit out of you." Yang guess'

VEGETA: I will not punch you.

"Liar."

KRILLIN: Oddly specific.

"Don't trust him, Krillin."

VEGETA: Now, I'm going to need a moment to prepare myself, otherwise I might go into- (Krillin blasts him in the chest) -SHOOOOOO...! "You're screwed Krillin." (starts falling towards Dende) You are so punched!

"Knew it!" the blonde bombshell called out.

(shifts back to Piccolo, now badly damaged, still getting repeatedly blasted by Frieza)

PICCOLO: Aaaah, ga-ha-ha! Why is this still happening?

"Because you won't DOOOOOOOOODGE!!" the ginger-haired girl chuckled.

GOHAN: (flies behind Frieza) Circling around, Mr. Piccolo! Hey Frieza! The human body is composed of 75% water! I am 100% death! Have some! (fires a blast at Frieza)

"NERRRRD!" the hunteress' called out.

FRIEZA: What? Gyahhh! (gets hit by the blast) Oh, no! The invincible Lord Frieza defeated by a mere child! What dramatic irony! (while laughing) Oh, no, just kidding. (reverses the blast back to Gohan)

GOHAN: (thinking) Crapbaskets!

(Piccolo intercepts the blast, saving Gohan)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! You saved me again!

PICCOLO: "Saved" is sort of subjective here.

"I agree." Blake admits.

FRIEZA: So, we’re all well aware that that all basically equated to a game of Hot Space Potato, right? Well, then, I say we get a move on. Who here's tired of my third form?

"I think Ridley Scott is, obviously." Ren comments.

PICCOLO: Me.

GOHAN: Me.

KRILLIN: Me.

FRIEZA: Alrighty then, final form it is!

KRILLIN: Personally, I was a bigger fan of the first form.

PICCOLO: I'd settle on second, really.

FRIEZA: HYAAAAA... (begins transforming)

(Gohan carries a beaten Piccolo in the sky)

GOHAN: Come on, Mr. Piccolo.

PICCOLO: Ugh... (Gohan places him on the ground)

GOHAN: Don't worry; we have Dende! He can heal you! (Krillin lands next to Gohan) Krillin, where's Dende?

KRILLIN: I dunno, but Little Green's over there with Vegeta.

GOHAN: Why?

KRILLIN: I blew a hole in his chest.

GOHAN: Why?!

"Zenkai abuse." Nora remembered.

"Zen-wha?" Janue wonders.

KRILLIN: Because he asked for it.

"He's not wrong." the heiress unwillingly admits.

(shifts to a badly wounded Vegeta approaching Dende)

VEGETA: Guah! You...green thing...heal me.

DENDE: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time hearing you over the smell of my people's blood on your hands.

"Pretty sure that's his own blood, actually..." Ruby corrects.

VEGETA: Oh, no... Do not be that guy right now...

"Oh yes he will Vegeta." said Yang.

DENDE: Oh, I'm going to be that guy right now.

VEGETA: I am literally going to die...

"He's not wrong." the four-time champion agrees.

DENDE: Well, how about this? I'll heal you, on one condition.

VEGETA: And that is...?

DENDE: Say my name.

VEGETA: Oh... Uh...

DENDE: You don't even know my name.

VEGETA: Oh, uh, I do. It's, uh...um, uh...Little...Green?

DENDE: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! No. No, it's Dende. Say "Dende".

VEGETA: Dende.

DENDE: Now say, "Please heal me, Dende".

VEGETA: Please heal me, Dende.

DENDE: Well, since you asked so nicely... (flies away)

Yang and Ruby burst out giggling at Dende's actions.

VEGETA: Come back, magic man... (collapses onto the ground) Ugh...

(shifts to Dende healing Piccolo)

DENDE: And you, my friend, are a subject of nepotism.

PICCOLO: Ugh. Thank you, magic man.

DENDE: It's good to have you back, Nail.

PICCOLO: I'm not Nail.

NAIL: (Technically, ya kinda are.)

PICCOLO: Shut up, Nail.

DENDE: Why are you talking to yourself?

PICCOLO: No reason. Now go heal Vegeta.

DENDE: Why would I do that?

(Frieza is still seen transforming)

"There's your reason." Jaune loudly responses.

FRIEZA: ...AAAAAAAAAA...

PICCOLO: Because THAT.

DENDE: Oh yeah, that’s happening right now.

"Yes it is." the crimsonette agrees.

FRIEZA: (still transforming) HYAAAAAA...

GOHAN: Krillin, why aren't you using your Kienzan?

"Excaclty Gohan." the cat Faunus agrees.

KRILLIN: Eh, you know, I keep forgetting to do that.

GOHAN: And?

KRILLIN: Well, I kind of used all my energy to mortally wound Vegeta.

GOHAN: Seriously, what did I miss?!

(shifts to Dende healing Vegeta)

DENDE: *sigh* Twist my arm a little bit more, why don't ya?

VEGETA: (gets up) You...healed me.

DENDE: Of course I did. I’m a nice guy.

VEGETA: And now what's to stop me from kicking your face in?

DENDE: Because you touch me, and you're not getting back up again. That's right, I'm your White Mage. And nobody f**ks with the White Mage. (gets blown up by Frieza)

"Well nobody on his team that his..." Ruby whimpers with a nervous laughter, "the 'enemy final boss' on the other hand..."

FRIEZA: Oh, I feel REAL good about my life right now.

"You know, what I said about Frieza's forth form was going to be, I kinda take it back." Jaune admits.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

KRILLIN: Little Green! NOOOOOOOO!!!

GOHAN: Actually, Krillin, his name was Dende.

KRILLIN: Huh, that's funny. Never spoke up about it.

"That's why you get puched so much." Yang notes.

(screen goes black and then shows a shot of Gohan and Dende in a Horribleville-style comic strip frame)

DENDE: Jesus Christ, how horrifying.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

VEGETA: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to an an outside shot of Frieza's ship and then shifts to the inside where Goku is still seen recovering in the healing tank)

GOKU: (thinking while inside the tank) ♪You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up♪
♪You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up...♪

KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku, come in!

GOKU: (telepathically) Oh, hey, King Kai!

(shifts to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Your friends are in trouble, Goku. (telepathically) Are you healed yet?

GOKU: Uh... Nah, I don't think so.

KING KAI: Well, how long do you think it's gonna take?

GOKU: Well, I think the machine will tell me when I'm done.

KING KAI: Okay, you think or you know?

"Both aren't Goku's trongest sides." Weiss states.

GOKU: (after a brief pause) ♪You put the lime in the coconut and...♪

Even Ruby sang the tune with Goku.

KING KAI: Goku!

GOKU: Aw, come on, King Kai, they don't need my help. I bet they're doing just fine on their own.

"You are thinking of the same peoplw we are, right?" Jaune questions.

(shifts to planet Namek)

VEGETA: Healer's down!

KRILLIN: Need a rez!

GOHAN: Out of mana!

VEGETA: AAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAH!

GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

FRIEZA: It's been so long since I've had to use this form. It feels like an old suit I never have an occasion to wear. (disappears and then reappears behind the group) Unfortunately, whenever I put it on... (looks over to Dende's corpse) ...someone dies.

"Frieza's final form cost: One soul." Yang attempted to joke but failed to be funny, even to herself.

GOHAN: Dende... no!

FRIEZA: Oh, don't cry for the poor thing. I've saved him the fate of seeing what I'm about to do to you.

VEGETA: Joke's on you; he hated the bald one.

"Which bald one?" wondered Pyrrha.

KRILLIN: Hey, that's not fair! (looks at Piccolo) He just met Piccolo!

"Pretty sure Dende thought Piccolo was Nail." Blake stated.

(Frieza shoots a Death Beam aimed directly at Gohan, who just stands there paralyzed in shock)

"Damn it, Gohan! DODGE!" Ruby screamed out.

VEGETA: Get down!

(Vegeta rushes in and pushes Gohan onto the ground, evading the Death Beam. The attack then hits an island in the distance, obliterating it in a flash of light.)

KRILLIN: I couldn't even follow that attack...! It was almost instantaneous!

"Are you even going to recognise that Vegeta helped Gohan?" Ren questions.

VEGETA: Yep. Just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome.

PICCOLO: There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!

"Really? Nothing?"

VEGETA: Uh, hello? Awesome, right here.

GOHAN: We're all gonna die!

"Guess not. Proceed." Ren concluded.

VEGETA: You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left, and I don't wanna smack you with my dick.

"That sound gross," the crimsonette gagged, "and your of royal blood, Vegeta!"

"Royality dosen't make him of proper manner, Ruby." Weiss corrects her teammate.

FRIEZA: Oh, look at you, Vegeta. You're really going to fight me. Well, not-- not really "fight", more like, "flailing angrily".

VEGETA: Make your jokes while you can, Frieza. Because I can now see the peak of your power, while I'm only beginning to tap into mine...

"If only you knew Vegeta... if only you knew." Yang signed.

FRIEZA: I feel like we've been here before. Have we been here before?

"Yes you have." Nora admits.

VEGETA: You see, I have finally realized the legend...

FRIEZA: Oh, my God, this IS happening again!

VEGETA: That's right, you're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore, Frieza... I, Vegeta, have finally become... the legendary Super Saiyan!

FRIEZA: Okay, seriously, first off, "Super Saiyan". What is that? What even is that? "The.. like, only thing you fear and the reason you blew up Planet Vegeta when you did?" Ruby slightly remembers from the Bardock speical episode, I'll tell you what it is, it's just some stupid legend passed by your filthy monkey ancestors around a campfire like it was their own dung. Let me tell you, Vegeta, I don't deal in legends, I deal in facts. And here's a fact: by the end of this, you are going to be crying, like a little... bitch.

(Short pause...)

VEGETA: Bitch, you just jealous of my Super Saiyan swagger.

FRIEZA: Oh, for f**k's sake.

The hunters burst out laughing at Frieza's response to Vegeta's arrogance.

(Vegeta dashes at Frieza and tries to attack him, but Frieza disappears and avoids the attack. Frieza then reappears in front of a rock and dodges another attack from Vegeta. Vegeta then goes on the offensive and starts attacking Frieza rapidly, causing the latter to go on the defensive.)

VEGETA: (thinking) Yes! I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!

FRIEZA: (thinking) God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead... This has been one giant mess. "And Cui... and Appule." Jaune remembered, It's just like that jockstrap incident only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes.

VEGETA: AAAAAAA... (tries to perform a double axe handle on Frieza, but he disappears again) Huh? Wha...?

FRIEZA: (is seen on an island) This may be a little off-topic, but how good are you at digging holes?

"well, he can blow up a planet with a Ki Blast, so probably pretty good." Pyrrha comments.

VEGETA: What the...

FRIEZA: I mean, besides the one you've already dug yourself into.

VEGETA: Rrgh... Don't you mock me! (charges up energy)

FRIEZA:: Oh?

VEGETA: YAAAH!

(Vegeta fires an energy blast at the island but Frieza leaps away and flies off in the sky. Vegeta proceeds to fire a Super Energy Wave Volley after the tyrant.)

VEGETA: (while firing each blast) Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

KRILLIN: I don't get it, why can't Vegeta hit him?

(Vegeta is seen blasting while saying "Daka, daka, daka!")

PICCOLO: Because he keeps aiming where he is instead of where he's going to be!

"Shows he's never played 'Space Invaders' before." the blonde brawler giggles.

(Frieza appears in front of Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan)

GOHAN: Ahh!

PICCOLO: (thinking) Oh, crap.

KRILLIN: So, does this mean we should...?

PICCOLO: DODGE! (grabs Gohan and Krillin and flies out of the way)

VEGETA: Daka, daka, daka, daka, daka! (Frieza appears in front of Vegeta) Aah!

FRIEZA: So, are we done playing children's games, Vegeta, or do I have to tickle you? (wags his tail in front of Vegeta's face) Eh, eh? Kitchy-koo. Kitchy-kitchy-kitchy-koo.

VEGETA: (starts stammering in anger) Stop it or I'm gonna blow you up! (flies up and starts powering up) We'll see how you stand up... to everything I've got! Take... my Super Saiyan WRATH! (fires his ultimate technique, the Final Burst Cannon, at Frieza)

FREEZA: (thinking) Oh, and I should probably send the Ginyus' families something... Perhaps some wine, a gift basket. (kicks Vegeta's Final Burst Cannon into outer space) Or maybe gift baskets with wine.

"Huh, he really is a good dictator. Just don't piss him off." the ginger admires.

VEGETA: (falters and starts trembling) Wh-What? How... How is that...? Gah...

FRIEZA: See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. Like a bitch.

VEGETA: (voice cracking down, trying to hold back tears) Shut up!

FRIEZA: Oh, my God, you actually are crying! (shows Vegeta actually crying like a little bitch)

VEGETA: (hoarsely) I'm not crying! I'm not...!

FRIEZA: Honestly, now I just feel bad. Usually, I just blow up whatever's in my way, but with you I've gotten kind of attached. It's sort of like putting down old Space yeller.

"Damn!" Everyone gasped.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) How is that a thing?

"He's eveil Krillin, he doesn't care." the heiress replies.

FRIEZA: It's sad, really. But before we part ways, Vegeta, let me tell you a tale. (swats Vegeta with his tail)

VEGETA: Ahhh!

"Ah, the 'Prince of All Monkeys get whipped', that was a good story." theblonde bombshell chuckles.

FRIEZA: The end.

(Vegeta flies straight into the water. Frieza lands on a rock and pushes the water away with telekinesis. Vegeta is seen on the ground, with a Namekian crab walking on his back.)

FRIEZA: See that, Vegeta? Now for my next trick: I'm going to make an asshole disappear. (begins walking up to Vegeta)

ORPHEUS: Wagwan, brethren Vegeta? Me be a spirit animal. And me here tell you how to mash up that bumbaclot Frieza. All ya gotta do is... (Frieza eats half his body) Aaah! (Frieza eats the rest of him) Aaah!

"Apparently Frieza likes live carbs... who knew?" Nora lightly giggles.

FRiEZA: *gulp* Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Wha-What? (Frieza punches him in the back) Ahhh!

FRiEZA: Stop hitting yourself.

(Frieza punches Vegeta again)

VEGETA: Ugh!

FRIEZA: Stop hitting yourself.

(Frieza punches Vegeta again)

VEGETA: Augh!

FRIEZA: Stop hitting yourself.

(Frieza punches Vegeta again)

VEGETA: Ah-hagh!

(Frieza drops Vegeta onto the ground)

VEGETA: (muffled) You're the one hitting me!

The hunters-in-training laughed out loud at Frieza's comedy side.

FRIEZA: Au contraire, Vegeta, you brought this upon yourself.

"He's not wrong." JNPR's leader admits.

(Frieza kicks Vegeta twice, sending him into the sky with the second kick, and then elbows him in the stomach before striking him toward the ground with his tail, who falls down in front of Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin.)

KRILLIN: (looks at Vegeta's beaten body) Should... we... help... him? (Frieza appears in front of everyone, shocking them)

FRIEZA: Oh, go ahead. Pool's open; water's fine. (everyone is terrified and does not move) Hmm, no? Just going to stand there like a bunch of piss-ants? Thought so. (starts grabbing Vegeta with his tail) Now, where were we? Oh, right, I believe it was... kidney punch. (repeatedly punches Vegeta in the back) Kidney punch, kidney punch, kidney punch, and pause... kidney punch.

(cuts to Goku inside the healing tank)

GOKU: (thinking) ♪Row, row, row your boat♪
♪Gently down the stream♪
♪Merrily merrily merrily merrily♪
♪Life is but a dream♪
♪Row, row, row your boat...♪
 (continues singing refrain)

KING KAI: ♪Row, row, row your boat♪
♪Gently down the stream♪
♪Merrily merrily merrily merrily♪
♪Life is but a dream♪
♪Row, row, row your boat...♪ (continues singing refrain)

Ruby, Yang, Jaune and Pyrrha join King Kai with the singing.

TIEN: ♪Row, row, row your boat♪
♪Gently down the stream♪
♪Merrily merrily merrily merrily♪
♪Life is but a dream♪
♪Row, row, row your boat...♪

Blake, Ren and Nora aslo joins in with the singing too.

YAMCHA: *gasps*

Weiss was about join in along with Yamcha but didn't get the chance.

(a beeping noise is heard)

GOKU: Pod's done! (destroys the healing tank and flies out of Frieza's ship)

(Cuts to Vegeta getting thrown into a cliff and knocked down onto the ground. Frieza is seen walking up to Vegeta's now incapacitated body.)

FRIEZA: It seems our game is over, Vegeta. (grabs Vegeta by the armor) Now that we're done here, it's time to send you crying home to mommy.

VEGETA: (with tears flowing in his eye) My mother's dead...

FRIEZA: I know. HYEEEAAAAAA... (prepares to deliver the finishing blow to Vegeta but Goku arrives just in the nick of time, much to the surprise of everyone)

FRIEZA: Who...?

GOKU: Hey guys, how's it going? Piccolo, when did you come back?

PICCOLO: Uh, Dragon Balls.

GOKU: Oh, neat. Hey, Krillin. That armor looks funny on you.

GOHAN: Hey, Dad!

GOKU: Hey. "Father of the Year everyone." Ruby comments, (to FrIeza) So, are you that "Freezer" guy?

FRIEZA: (hesitantly) I am Lord Frieza, yes.

GOKU: (cheerfully) Awesome! I'mma deck you in the schnozz!

(Frieza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta)

VEGETA: Ow...

FRIEZA: I'm sorry, that's a new one. Uh, who are you, exactly?

"Wait, does that count as a 'Heroic Speech' though?" the hammer wielder wonders.

GOKU: I'm Goku... I'm insane... "That's true..." from Earth. "...and that." the cat Faunus mentions.

(Freeza gives off a blank stare)

The hunters giggled at Goku's assessment of himself.

VEGETA: (weakly) He means "Saiyan".

FRIEZA: Ugh, between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide.

GOKU: What's wrong, Vegeta? Did Freezer do this to you?

FRIEZA: Oh look, he's all concerned. I'm impressed, Vegeta; you managed to make a friend.

"As of this saga, 'Friend' is kind of an overstatement. 'Begrudged allies' is more like it." RWBY's cat ninja corrects.

VEGETA: (weakly) Hate you. Hate you both.

"Told you so."

FRIEZA: Unfortunately, Vegeta and I were having a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well... I didn't.

GOKU: (confused) Why do you want to die?

FRIEZA: What--? No, I... I-I mea-- I meant I want him to die.

GOKU: Is it 'cause you look weird?

"He does look pretty weird..." Ruby whispers.

FRIEZA: (eyes widen) ...WHAT?

GOKU: Well, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips, and that tail... (Frieza gets angry and fires a beam at Goku. Goku swats the blast away.) ...and you don't have ears...

FRIEZA: Okay, no(Frieza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly. The last beam Goku defects hits the ground covering him in smoke.)

GOKU: ...and to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk.

"He's not a jerk, he's just evil." Jaune mentions.

FRIEZA: (shocked) And apparently, this is now happening. Vegeta! Explain!

(Vegeta laugh weakly on the ground)

FRIEZA: What are you...?

VEGETA: (weakly) You see, Frieza, you aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore...

FRIEZA: (getting angrier with each word) OH, MY GOD.

VEGETA: (weakly) He has risen above and become a legend... the legend that you fear... He has become... a Super Sai-- (Frieza blasts him in the chest with a Death Beam. Vegeta gasps, then collapses.)

GOKU: *gasps* Vegeta!

FRIEZA: No, seriously, you have no idea how old that got.

"Surprisingly, I agree with Frieza on that." Blake and Weiss confirmed.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

VEGETA: Laugh while you can, Frieza. Because I'm about to rock you... like a hurricane.

("Rock You Like A Hurricane" by Scorpion plays as Vegeta levitates a rock and punches it at Frieza. Frieza easily breaks the rock.)

VEGETA: Huh. I should've know that was only a one-hit wonder.

"But Scorpions has tones of hits, plus you just threw a small rock at him, its not gonna do much." the four-time champion comments on Vegeta's chose of song and method of attack.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

VEGETA: (in a dying voice) The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall *wheezes* GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. *coughs* Oh, God.

(shows Vegeta on the ground, with a sizzling hole in his chest from where he was pierced by Frieza's Death Beam)

GOKU: Vegeta, no!

GOHAN: Vegeta, no!

KRILLIN: Don't worry, Little Green'll... (notices Dende's corpse) Oh. Vegeta, no!

PICCOLO: (after a short silence) Meh. (rolls his eyes)

"Way to show empathy there Piccolo." Ren comments.

GOKU: Are you all right?

VEGETA: (weakly) I have a f**king hole in my chest. Why didn't you block that one?!

GOKU: I thought you had it.

VEGETA: (weakly) NO!

FRIEZA: It's funny how he's still talking, I could have sworn I hit a lung. (Vegeta coughs blood) Oh, there it is.

VEGETA: (weakly) Kakarot, if you're ever going to listen to anything I have to say, do it now.

GOKU: What is it, Vegeta?

VEGETA: (weakly) I've lived my entire life under Frieza's rule. My entire kingdom, my race, was enslaved to his bidding.

GOKU: I understand now. If it weren't for Freezer, you wouldn't be--

VEGETA: (weakly) Dying? No.

GOKU: I was gonna say evil.

VEGETA: Oh, no. I'd definitely still be evil. If this situation were reversed, this conversation would never have happened. You'd be dead, and I'd be laughing. (laughs weakly) Oh, it hurts to laugh.

GOKU: So, why are you telling me this?

VEGETA: (weakly) Because, Kakarot, you are our race's last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan. (opens both eyes in shock) Oh, God, you're the last remaining Saiyan. (makes a final wheeze and goes limp)

"And the realisation as been dropped." Pyrrha mentions.

"You know, I was begining to like Vegeta." Yang admits.

GOKU: Vegeta... you...

(Goku blasts a hole in the ground with a Kiai and then picks up Vegeta's corpse)

GOKU: Come on. You deserve a proper burial.

FRIEZA: Oh yes, a proper burial: an unmarked grave on an empty planet in the middle of nowhere space. Honestly, I'd say it's too good for him.

"It kinda is." said Weiss.

(Goku buries Vegeta inside the hole)

GOKU: I'll make sure to give Freezer one for you, best buddy. (stands up) Goodbye.

FRIEZA: Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place. Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell.

GOKU: I don't know. I went to Hell once. The only real bad parts were these two-oiled up German guys trying to wrestle me.

FRIEZA: (stares blankly) ...Are you real?

GOKU: But now, I know what I have to do. I have to stop you! You're a heartless monster who kills everyone in his way... even children!

FRIEZA: Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them is a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish. But then who's the villain?

GOKU: (totally lost) Y-You.

FRIEZA: N-No. That was a rhetorical question.

GOKU: And I gave you a rhetorical answer.

FRIEZA: Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.

The hunters laughed at Frieza's realisation.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, get on out of here! I'll take Freezer myself.

GOHAN: But Dad--

GOKU: No buts! Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.

PICCOLO: So, keep doing what I've been doing, then?

"Being his dad, yes." Nora summerise's.

GOKU: Yuh-huh!

PICCOLO: Yeah, I figured. Let's go! (flies off)

KRILLIN: (while flying off) Oh, thank God!

GOHAN: Dad, beat him within an inch of his life... and hang him up by his entrails! (flies off)

GOKU: (thinking) Wow, he sounds like he's had a hard time. Piccolo should really have a talk with him.

FRIEZA: I see. Sending your friends off to fight me all on your own. How gutless.

GOKU: What? How is that gutless?

FRIEZA: Because, suicide is the coward's way out.

GOKU: Can we fight now?

FRIEZA: Son of a... Yes!

"Straight to the point, My favourite way of engagement." Yang cheered.

(Goku charges forward and swings at Frieza, who dodges and swipes at Goku with his tail. Frieza launches a Death Cannon at Goku)

GOKU: (thinking) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!

(Goku launches himself out of the ground with a Kamehameha, causing Frieza's Death Cannon to hit the ground and produce a huge explosion. Goku is seen floating inside the smoke while Frieza tries to shoot him with multiple eye beams.)

GOKU: Hey, wait a minute... They're all missing! He can't sense my energy. Ha-ha! You can't sense my energy!

FRIEZA: No, but I can hear you, moron! (appears behind Goku)

GOKU: (thinking) *gasp* He has bat-vision!

(Frieza starts to chase Goku down while continuously firing eye beams at him. Goku then dodges an eye beam, which hits the ground and shows a small visible hole.)

GOKU: Ha! You missed!

FRIEZA: Or did I?

GOKU: Yeah, you did.

FRIEZA: Well, no, I really did--

GOKU: You see? Not a hole on me!

FRIEZA: I wasn't trying to--

GOKU: You should really work on your aim.

FRIEZA: You know what? I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to let this next part be a surprise.

GOKU: What part-- (lava erupts from the ground) WAH! Hot lava!

FRIEZA: Ha! Now what do you have to say?

GOKU: MY BUTT IS FLAMING!!!

FRIEZA: (shorts silence before looking down to the side) I miss Zarbon...

GOKU: Wow, that was close. I was almost out of the frying pan and into the... lava.

FRIEZA: (completely dumbfounded) How do you function?

"MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!" Weiss shouts out.

GOKU: Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time.

FRIEZA: (stares at Goku with loathing) ... I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.

GOKU: What? Why would you drown puppies?

FRIEZA: Because they're cute and cuddly.

"And they bark all the time." Yang admits."

"YOU TRUELY ARE PURE EVIL." Ruby screamed out in fustration.

GOKU: Are... you coming on to me?

FRIEZA: Grrr...!

(Frieza kicks Goku down into the water. Goku is seen underwater with his head stuck in a hole but manages to free himself and swims upward before crossing his arms)

GOKU: (thinking) Ah, man. This guy's strong! I've gotta catch him by surprise. (remembers Frieza's earlier assault in the air) Wait, he can't sense my energy. I know! Kamehameha! (charges up two ki waves: his Twin Dragon Shot) This is the best idea I've ever had.  Second only to the double baconwich; a sandwich with bacon instead of bread.

"That sounds delicious." Ruby awed.

"And an awesome idea." Nora agrees.

FRIEZA: (floating above the water, waiting for Goku) Come now, I've waited long enough! I know it's something new to you, monkey, but it's called a bath.

GOKU: (thinking) Go, my children. (launches the first blast)

FRIEZA: What? (dodges the first blast) That's just distracting! (dodges the second blast) Gah! And that's just annoyingly distracting!

GOKU: (in distance) Geronimo! (hits Frieza with a dropkick, launching him into a pile of rocks) 'Bout time someone kicked you to the curb! Nice work, brain.

"Good to know you have one." Weiss mocked.

BRAIN: You're welcome.

"Holy Grimm he has one." Blake gasped in shock.

(Frieza breaks out of the rubble with an explosion and starts exercising his neck, with Orpheus falling out of his left ear)

ORPHEUS: Hey, man!

"Wasn't he eaten from the last episode?" Jaune questions in confusion.

"Personally, I wouldn't question it all that lot." Yang suggests.

(Frieza jumps onto a cliff while Goku lands on the ground)

FRIEZA: You're a cheeky little monkey, what with your silly martial arts. But you know what the difference between you and I is? You can punch a board and it will break in half. I can punch a board and wipe out its entire race.

GOKU: But can you block?

FRIEZA: (stares at Goku with a deadpan expression) ... I'd like you to meet my friend.

GOKU: A friend? Is he nice?

FRIEZA: Rock solid. (Frieza raises a giant rock out of the ground using telekinesis) Filthy monkey, meet General Mountain!

"Actually, that looks more like Colonel Plateau." Pyrrha corrects.

GOKU: Hi, General Mountain! My name's Go-- (gets hit by the giant rock and crashes into a wall)

The hunters laughed at Goku's kindest and stupidity.

GOKU: (muffled) I'm sorry, Mr. Mountain. (bursts out of the mountain and then takes a breath before Frieza appears above him.)

FRIEZA: Want to play a game?

GOKU: (slowly) Yes.

(Frieza traps Goku inside an energy sphere and proceeds to knock him around back and forth, making pinball sound effects, before launching him to the ground, emitting a huge explosion.)

(shifts to a outside shot of Planet Namek and shows a high score screen (which is just everyone's power levels), with Frieza being on top. Frieza enters his name as "ASS".)

"So a the currency of a 'Raditz' is, what I assume is, one Lien card?" Ren assumes based off the 'Power Level game' on the screen.

FREEZA: Ha!

(cut back to the battle where Frieza is seen floating above a sandy wasteland)

FRiEZA: So how did you like that game, monkey?

GOKU: (flies back to Frieza, unharmed) Eh, it was okay.

FRIEZA: Wha...? You...?

GOKU: It's not Donkey Kong, though. That has a pie level.

(Frieza gives off a wide-eyed stare and then leans forward, making a creaking sound)

(cut to Bulma drinking seawater from a lake)

"Oh wait, I kinda forgot about her." Blake mentions while everyone else agrees with her.

BULMA: Oh, God, that was so refreshing. Too bad it was all saltwater, though. (falls over)

"You spoused to be the 'smart one', aren't you?" Weiss asks, "And before you ask, yes, saltwater makes you more thirst."

(cut back to the battlefield where Goku and Frieza land in another area)

FRIEZA: Alright then, how about this for another game? I'll fight without using either of my hands.

GOKU: Okay. Then I'll fight without using my shirt. (starts to remove his shirt)

FRIEZA: I think you’re missing the point.

GOKU: (drops his shirt) Fight time now!

(Goku and Frieza fight for a bit, with Frieza only using his legs to attack Goku. Frieza then tries to hit Goku with his tail, but Goku manages to grab it.)

GOKU: Ha-ha! Got your tail!

FRIEZA: What are you--? Do you think this is a game?

GOKU: Well you... you said it was a game.

FRIEZA: I was being coy, you imbecile! I'm trying to kill-- Aaaah! (Goku starts screaming and begins to swing him around) What are you doing?! Stop it! Stop it now or I'm going to... to... ugh... guh...

(cut to Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin)

FRIEZA: (in distance) (makes a retching sound)

KRILLIN: (as he sees something approaching his face) Huh. What's that?

(Freiza's puke flies directly at Krillin's face. Cut to an outside shot of Planet Namek.)

KRILLIN: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!!

(Krillin Owned Count: 27)

(cut back to the battlefield)

GOKU: Yah!

(Goku throws Frieza in the distance, but Frieza disappears)

GOKU: (thinking) Ah! He's gone! I'll have to keep on guard. All my vital areas. (Frieza reappears and grabs Goku's neck with his tail) Oh, no! My neck! My most vital area!

FRIEZA: Oh, what's wrong? Don't have anything cute to say this time? (Goku starts choking and drops down on one knee) Adorable!

GOKU: (thinking) He's gonna choke me to death! Quick, Goku, use your instincts! (bites Frieza's tail)

FRiEZA: (shows Frieza's left eye as the screen cracks) GAH!!! (releases Goku) Son of a... Mother... F*CK!!!(punches Goku, knocking him back a few feet)

GOKU: Augh! You punched me in the face!

FRIEZA: You bit my tail!

GOKU: You punched me in the face!

FRIEZA: YOU BIT MY F*CKING TAIL!!!

GOKU: Yeah, well, I still haven't used my shirt! Does that mean I win?

"...Yes?" the crimsonette responses.

(pause)

FRIEZA: (going insane) ...Yes. Yes! You win!

GOKU: *gasps* What do I win?

FRIEZA: Another bath!

GOKU: But I'm not dirt--

(cut to Frieza drowning Goku underwater with his foot)

FRIEZA: Just tell me when you need to come up for air.

GOKU: (thinking) Crap. Lungs... filling with water. Muscles... hurting. Brain, status report!

BRAIN: (makes mumbling sounds) ...Frozen peas...

GOKU: Well, that's not good. That's not... good... at all...

(the camera completely blacks out as Goku loses consciousness)

VEGETA: (in a ghostly voice) Kakarot... Kakarot... Kaka-- (in normal voice) Ah, you know what? Screw this. Wake up, dumbass!

GOKU: (suddenly wakes up) Huh? Ve-Vegeta?

VEGETA: (appears as a ghost) You're failing your race, Kakarot. Frieza's unlike any opponent you've ever faced. You need to embrace your heritage; become the Saiyan that you were meant to be--

GOKU: Why are you naked?

VEGETA: What?

GOKU: You're naked. (shows Vegeta fully naked with his tail) Why?

VEGETA: Idiot, you don't take your clothes with you when you die.

GOKU: Well, I did.

VEGETA: What?

GOKU: Yeah. even had my weighted clothes on too. And I didn't even die in those. Huh.

VEGETA: That lying red motherf*cker! The hunters laughted at Vegeta's response, Anyway listen, Kakarot. Inside you is the primal burning fury of the Saiyan race. Like a wild raging Ōzaru, you must unleash it, Kakarot!

GOKU: So... do I gotta throw my poo at him?

VEGETA: Oh for God's--! Just use your stupid Kaio-whatever!

GOKU: Oh, okay! Thanks, Vegeta!

VEGETA: F**k off. I'm gonna go get my clothes back. (disappears)

(cut back to Frieza above the water still drowning Goku with his foot)

FRIEZA: So, any last words, monkey? You know, besides "gurgle, gurgle"?

(Goku bursts out of the water, startling Frieza)

GOKU: Yeah! (powers up to Kaio-Ken) Kaio-Ken!

FRIEZA: Kaio-what--? (Goku punches him away) Gah!

GOKU: Ka... Me... Ha... Me... HA!

(Goku launches a huge x.20 Kaio-Ken Kamehameha at Frieza. Frieza blocks the attack head-on by extending his hand. The blast connects and causes an enormous shockwave, turning the whole area into sand dunes. Goku is seen in midair catching his breath.)

"THAT'S THE BEST KAMEHAMEHA TO DATE SO FAR!" Ruby cheered out.

FRIEZA: No seriously, Kaio-what?

"Dammit." she wimpers.

GOKU: Kaio-crap...!

FREEZA: I thought so. (blasts Goku away)

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cut to Earth's Check-In Station in the afterlife)

BLUE OGRE: (off-screen) Attention! Any sin you commit before being judged will be used against you.

KING YEMMA: Next... strip. Next... strip. Next... strip. (stops and leans forward) Nice!

RECOOME: (off-screen) Recoome thanks you.

"Oh sweet Oum no." Blake groaned.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KRILLIN: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. Whew! Alright, how was that?

(a buzzing sound is heard)

LANIPATOR: That was perfect Krillin. Uh, don't worry about your check. We’ll send it to your next of kin.

"Wait what?" the hunters question in confusion.

KRILLIN: What?

(cut to Goku getting knocked down to the ground)

GOHAN: That last attack drained all of his energy. We gotta help him!

KRILLIN: You're right, Gohan. It's time to get in there and throw down!

"When did Krillin get so brave?" Pyrrha wonders.

GOHAN: Really, Krillin?

KRILLIN: Ha-ha! F**k no!

"You were saying, P-money?" Yang responds while the Mistral champion signs in disappointment.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(Cut to Goku getting knocked by a lake, his head falling into the water. Frieza is seen approaching Goku as the latter gets up and starts coughing and sputtering before Frieza grabs him by the undershirt.)

FRIEZA: Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?

(Goku coughs up water on Frieza's face, who proceeds to kick Goku repeatedly on the ground after a brief pause)

GOKU: Oh! Yike! Ugh! Ah! Ow! Sonofa!...

(cut to King Kai's planet)

YAMCHA: You know what? This is totally bogus.

"D-did he really say 'bogus'?" Weiss asked in disguise.

TIEN: I'm going to do my best to ignore that you just used the word "bogus".

The Schnee heiress agrees with Tien's statement.

YAMCHA: King Kai hasn't taught us crap since we got here! And what's worse, Piccolo didn't even have to train with us. He just sat and meditated all the time.

"Are you sure that he wasn't napping?" Nora asks.

TIEN: You're just jealous.

YAMCHA: No I'm not-- Okay, a little.

RECOOME: (faintly in the distance) Recoome...

"Oh sweet Oum no." Blake groaned.

CHIAOTZU: Hey, do you guys hear that?

RECOOME: (now more loudly) DIVE!

(Recoome crashes head first into the planet)

RECOOME: (muffled) Hello.

BOJACK: Yargh!

(Burter, Jeice, Guldo all appear above Recoome)

BURTER: I've got his left leg!

JEICE: I've got his right!

GULDO: I've got his middle! (all three of them pull Recoome out of the ground, who shakes his head)

"His WHAT!?" the hunters shouted out in shock and confusion.

RECOOME: Hey, what's up?

TIEN: So... are you guys--

GULDO: We're under attack! (telekinetically slams a tree into King Kai's house)

Everyone jumped from within their seats when Guldo slammed a tree into King Kai's house.

BURTER: Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace.

GULDO: Sorry, I kinda lost my head there after I... lost my head.

"What a minute." said Ren.

"What is it?" Ruby gestures.

"Shouldn't they be in HFIL due to them working in the Frieza Force, since they pilaged several planets throughout their service." JNPR's ninja informed as the rest of his teammates and friends understood and agreed with his statement.

(King Kai opens his door and walks up to the Ginyu Force)

KING KAI: Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap-- I'm old, takes me awhile-- come out, there's a tree in my living room. What's up?

"Nice life-story you've got there." Yang sarcastically mentions.

YAMCHA: We were just standing around and talking about your awesome training and then these guys showed up.

CHIAOTZU: Look like a bunch of queers.

The hunters were slightly taking back by Chiaotzu's insult.

TIEN: Chiaotzu! We don't even know them. We shouldn’t make such rash judgments about--

("Tokusentai" clip plays and the four deceased Ginyu Force members make a battle pose)

TIEN: Well... we shouldn't think less of them for it.

JEICE: Good day, mates. How ya going? We're here to take control of your planet in the name of Lord Frieza. Sorry about that. (cracks his knuckles)

"Are ya really?" Nora questions with cocky grin as she too cracks her knuckles.

KING KAI: Heh! Hahah! Ah yeah, good luck with that. Alright guys, show them who's boss.

TIEN: That'd be you.

YAMCHA: Yep. All you, man.

CHIAOTZU: You're the boss.

KING KAI: What?!

RECOOME: What? Recoome has to fight this? He doesn't even come up to Recoome's knee caps!

JEICE: Probably can't even handle a gut full of piss.

BURTER: I bet you can't even run a mile.

GULDO: You're blue!

"So? One of your teammates is blue." Blake gestures.

KING KAI: Yeah, all of you can just go straight to Hell.

"Literally." the crimsonette mentions.

RECOOME: Oh, yeah? And who's gonna make Recoome?

"Uh... god, Oum himself, the Brothers, anyone that's more powerful that you." said Jaune.

(Cut to the Bloody Pond in Hell with the camera moving to Goz, who is seen picking his nose while singing in German. A hitting sound is heard off-screen and all four deceased Ginyu Force are seen falling into the Bloody Pond.)

"About time that there sent to their right place in the afterlife." the heiress cheered.

GOZ: Mez, we have visitors! Prepare ze camps.

"Well, it IS HFIL." Pyrrha remembered.

(cut back to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Well, that takes care of that! Hmm, that reminds me. Wonder how Goku's doing.

(shows Frieza headbutting Goku, sending him tumbling)

KING KAI: That's about right.

The hunters giggled at King Kai's statement of his "star pupil".

GOKU: (struggles to get back up on his feet) No...! I can't lose! I have to beat you! You're evil, and you have to be stopped!

FRIEZA: Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand! (lightning strikes Frieza, which doesn't even harm him) Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game! Anyway, back to-- (sees Goku raising both hands in the sky) What are you doing?

GOKU: (thinking) I have to use the Spirit Bomb! It's my only chance!

FRIEZA: Seriously, what... what is this all about? Are you trying to tell me you once caught a fish that big?

"Probably bigger when he was young." the cat Faunus assumes as she mental drools of the size of said fish in her mind.

GOKU: I'm just... stretchin'.

"Stretching is important kids." the blonde brawler chuckled while looking at her younger half-sister.

FRIEZA: In the middle of a fight?

GOKU: Yes. (thinking) I have only one chance, but this planet barely has enough energy left as it is. Wait, I'll just draw from the surrounding planets! (starts drawing energy from nearby planets for the Spirit Bomb)

(cut to Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin watching the fight from an island)

PICCOLO: What's going on? He's just standing there with his hands up.

KRILLIN: (thinking to himself) Wait a second... (extremely loudly) HE'S USING (off screen) THE SPIRIT BOMB!

FRIEZA: The Spirit what's-it-now?

GOKU: (thinking) Oh, no...

"Oum dammit Krillin." everyone groaned in disappointment.

PICCOLO: Would you stop screaming?

KRILLIN: THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN (off screen) KILL FRIEZA!

PICCOLO: (off-screen) Shut up!

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Too scared!

PICCOLO: (off-screen) Damn it!

FRIEZA: What is that fool yammering on about?

GOKU: He’s talking about... ghosts.

FRIEZA: Ghosts?

GOKU: Yeah, you know. Spirits. Ghosts.

FRIEZA: What do ghosts have to do with this?

"Why don't you ask Veget-. Oh wait, he's dead." Ruby was about to ask but stopped herself and remembered Frieza killing Vegeta.

GOKU: Everything.

FRIEZA: That's stupid. You're stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!

GOKU: Or, maybe I'm just being rhetorical.

FRIEZA: NO! No, you're not! God, it's like you just try to use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!

GOKU: Huh. Well now you’re just acting transcendent.

FRIEZA: Hrgh! (angrily knees Goku in the face)

KRILLIN: Oh, no! If Goku can't focus on the Spirit Bomb he doesn't stand a chance!

PICCOLO: I think the issue is less about him focusing and more about staying alive!

KRILLIN: I don't get it, though. Where's the baaaa... (notices the Spirit Bomb) holy balls!

GOHAN: Wow! Is that... the Spirit Bomb?

PICCOLO: It's massive!

"Personally, it dosen't look that impressive to me." Weiss commented.

KRILLIN: (extremely loud) Oh, my God, that thing's gigantic! It’s gonna kill Frieza for sure--

PICCOLO: SHUT UP! (punches Krillin)

KRILLIN: Aaah!

(Frieza punches Goku, knocking him back but continues to hold his hands in the sky)

FRIEZA: There you are again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. Care, damn it! (swats Goku away with his tail, knocking him into the water)

PICCOLO: Damn it, this is bad!

GOHAN: Dad...

(Goku is seen climbing halfway onto shore and gasping for breath)

FRIEZA: (lands in front of Goku) I believe I’m done. As entertaining a punching bag you make, I find there is no more enjoyment to be found here.

GOKU: Wait, we could always play a game of 20 questions.

"I'll keep count." Blake signed.

FRIEZA: Alright then, first question: Are you about to die?

"One"

GOKU: No.

FRIEZA: Ah-ah-ah. (points a finger at Goku, preparing to finish him off) No lying.

GOKU: Damn!

FRIEZA: Say goodbye, monkey-- (notices a flare in the lake) Ugh. Wh-What... what is that glare? That's not a sun. It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space stati-- What is that? (looks up and notices the Spirit Bomb) What... is... that--? (looks down at Goku) What is that?!

"There's five."

GOKU: Are we still playing 20 questions?

"Six."

FRIEZA: You were planning on using that on me, weren't you?!

"Seven."

GOKU: Yeah...

FRIEZA: I don't know where you got that much power from, but it doesn't really matter now, does it?

"Eight."

(Goku leaps from the water and tries to launch a surprise attack at Frieza but Frieza catches his fist)

GOKU: Ah, nuts...

"Honestly, I thought that would have worked." said Ruby.

FRIEZA: Looks like that whole "Super Saiyan" thing didn’t really pan out after all. When you see Vegeta, tell him I said, "Like a bitch." (charges a Death Beam aimed between Goku's eyes) What the--FAAAAHH?! (Piccolo kicks him in the face, sending him far into the lake)

"That's nine."

GOKU: Piccolo, what are you doing here?

"Ten."

PICCOLO: No talk time. Plan, now!

GOKU: Well, I still got the Spirit Bomb, but I still need both arms to charge it. (puts both arms in the sky) You'll have to distract him while I gather energy.

PICCOLO: Oh, that's not so bad--

GOKU: For five minutes. And considering how bad he was kicking my butt... Ah, I'm sure you can handle it.

"Karma is a bitch, am I right?" Yang asks rhetorically.

"Déja vu, Piccolo?" JNPR's leader comments.

PICCOLO: Did you just hold a grudge?

"Does that one even count?" Ruby asks her black-haired teammate.

"Well, Piccolo isn't playing '20 questions', but I'll count it anyway." Blake responds.

(Frieza rises back up from the water, visibly furious)

FRIEZA: AND I JUST KEEP GETTING REMINDED OF MY FAILURES!

PICCOLO: You mean your failure at killing me or just in general?

"Twelve."

(Freiza growls in anger and proceeds to give Piccolo a massive beatdown)

GOKU: (in his thoughts; singing the tune of "Mahna Mahna") ♪Mahna Mahna♪
♪do-doo be-do-do♪
♪Mahna Mahna♪
♪do do-do do♪
♪Mahna Mahna♪
♪do-doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do I'ma chargin' my attack♪

PICCOLO: (faintly in the background) No, no, no, no-- (a snapping sound is heard) Oh, God, my glubok! (gets knocked down to the ground next to Goku) DARN IT!

FRIEZA: You know, I think I have an insta-fix for this situation: I'm going to blow you and this whole miserable planet to nothing! (begins charging a Death Ball) ISN'T THAT FUN?! (starts laughing manically while rising in the air, holding the Death Ball with his finger)

"No, it's not," the cat Faunus nervousally said, "Also that's thirteen."

PICCOLO: Gah! Goku, just throw the damn thing!

GOKU: Can't. Not done yet.

PICCOLO: What?! How?!

"Fouthteen and Fifthteen."

GOKU: It's only been four minutes and fifty-eight-- (a "ding" sound is heard) Done!

"Wow, that was quick." Pyrrha stated.

(Goku launches the Spirit Bomb at Frieza. Frieza is shown rising in the air while laughing madly until he stops and forgets something...)

FRIEZA: What? "Sixteen." (looks behind and notices the Spirit Bomb) Oh, somehow I completely forgot about that.

"Your about to get spirited!" Nora screamed out.

SPIRIT BOMB: Om, nom, nom.

The room was silent as they heard the Spirit Bomb 'nomed' through Frieza's attack.

FRIEZA: (extends both arms out) Oh, my God.

(Frieza tries to stop the Spirit Bomb with his hands, groaning while doing so, but is slowly getting pushed back)

FRIEZA: (thinking) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake, it's that I'm dying. (screams as he gets pulled in into the Spirit Bomb)

"Just when I thought he might have slightly changed a little good." Ruby hoped.

(the Spirit Bomb explodes, with the explosion being so enormous that it can be seen from outside Planet Namek as the camera fades to black)

(cut back to Planet Namek where there's an enormous crater and then to Krillin climbing onto a rock)

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Krillin and Gohan." Yang admits.

"Wait, where's Bulma?" the crimsonette questions with concern.

GOHAN: Krillin! You’re okay!

KRILLIN: I think I swallowed a trout. (Gohan helps him onto shore) So, Gohan, think he's dead?

"That's seventeen."

GOHAN: Krillin, right now I'm more worried about my dad.

KRILLIN: Who did you think I was talking about?

"There's eighteen."

GOHAN: *gasps* Krillin, look!

"There's your dad, and Goku." Nora joked.

"Nora, Goku is Gohan's father." Ren corrected.

"I know, but Piccolo is more of a father-figure than Goku is." the hammer-wielder responded.

(shows Piccolo emerging from the water)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Alright, come on you heavy bastard. No, no one actually help me, that would be a little too much. (heaves Goku onto shore, who gasps for breath)

GOHAN: They're both alive!

KRILLIN: Neat.

GOKU: Grandpa, I don't want any more baths today. I'm clean now.

(Gohan and Krillin land on the island)

GOHAN: (starts running up to Goku) Dad!

GOKU: (wearily) Hey, Gohan.

(Gohan laughs and hugs Goku)

KRILLIN: You know, I gotta admit, after what happened with Vegeta, I was pretty sure the Spirit Bomb was gonna be a dud.

GOHAN: But we showed him what for!

GOKU: Yeah, you could say he suffered a bad case of "Freezer burn".

Even Yang laughed at Goku's pun while everyone else groaned.

(Everyone starts laughing until Krillin suddenly shrieks and look up in horror at Frieza is seen standing on top of a rock, surviving the Spirit Bomb)

"Well, that didn't last real bloody long." Jaune cursed out.

FRIEZA: By the way, not dead. 'Kay, thanks, die. (blasts Piccolo in the chest)

PICCOLO: ...F**k you. (collapses on the ground)

GOHAN: (walks up to Piccolo and drops to his knees) No... No...! (raises his head to the sky and screams)NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (echoes)

"FAAAATHERRRRRRRRRR!!" Nora cried out.

KRILLIN: Whoa! For a moment there I thought that was gonna be me.

FRIEZA: (smiles) Oh-ho-ho! (frowns and points at Krillin) You're next.

KRILLIN: W-W-Wait! What did I do to you?

"Nineteen." Blake continues.

FRIEZA: Remember my tail?

"Twenty!"

KRILLIN: Can't you take a joke?

"And twentyone!" the cat Faunus concluded.

"Frieza tell him what he won!" the blonde brawler annouces.

"I guess that means no." Ruby whimpered at Frieza's stare.

(Frieza gives an ugly stare at Krillin while Krillin gives an innocent, cute smile. Cut to Krillin being shot into the sky.)

KRILLIN: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAA-- (explodes to smithereens as Goku and Gohan watch his remains fall from the sky)

"Well, I guess that answers that question..." Jaune whimpered as well.

(Krillin Owned Count: 28)

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cut to Mr. Popo at on Earth with the camera zooming in on his face, with dramatic music playing, before eventually stopping)

The hunters slowly backs away from the T.V. screen while Mr. Popo's face closed in on it.

MR. POPO: Called it!

Everyone was paralysed from not only Mr. Popo's words, but from the fact that he knew that Krillin was going to die since episode 11 and did nothing about it. They didn't have time to respond, only process what they know, as the second seasons final episode starts to play.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

FRIEZA: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

NARRATOR: Last time, on DragonBall Z Abridged...

KRILLIN: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAA-- (explodes to smithereens as Goku and Gohan watch his remains fall from the sky)

"He's losing his shit." Yang attempted to joke but failed.

FRIEZA: Oh, out of all the people I've blown to bits, that one will hold a special place in my heart.

(Goku is seen shaking in anger)

"He's mad." Jaune notices.

"You think?" Weiss sarcastically questions.

FRIEZA: Oh what's wrong, monkey? Come on now, give me something funny.

GOKU: (enraged) You... killed my best friend! (continues trembling in anger)

"Not for long." Nora sings.

"Indeed." Ren agrees.

FRIEZA: Ha! That is pretty funny. Hilarious, actually.

(thunder and lightning starts striking around Namek as Goku's hair briefly turns gold and his eyes briefly turn green)

"D-did his eyes and hair change colour?" Ruby stutters.

GOKU: RRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!! (transforms into a Super Saiyan for the first time)

FRIEZA: What?!

GOHAN: Dad?

(Goku, now a Super Saiyan, turns around and sets his sights on Frieza)

"It was at this moment Frieza didn't know... he fucked up." Yang stated.

FRIEZA: (stunned by Goku's transformation) That's... that's not funny.

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: I don't believe it! Goku has truly done it! He has become the one and only Super Saiyan! (small pause)Right?

"Wha, really!? It looks that someone riped off my hair colour and Semblance and changed it somewhat." the blonde brawler complains.

"Yang, this series was probably created several years before you were born. So if anything, you riped off the series' greatest moments." Weiss backfires to her teammate.

NARRATOR: (hesitantly) Ye-Yeah...

"If only he knew." said Pyrrha.

KING KAI: You hesitated there for a second. (small pause) What?

"I just realised if he didn't kill Krillin, Goku wouldn't have turned 'Super Saiyan' and they would be dead." Blake notices, while everyone processes the information and it hitted then like running into a brick wall.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cut to Namek where Super Saiyan Goku is angrily glaring at Frieza)

FRIEZA: What the hell is all this about? What's up with your hair? What's up with your eyes? Answer me!

"Oh, but I do like that golden colour." Yang admits.

"It's the sign of your death Frieza." Ren stated.

GOKU: Gohan, take Piccolo, find Bulma, get back to the ship.

"Holy Grimm, the smartest words he said through this series so far." the heiress shockingly says.

GOHAN: But what about you?

GOKU: If Piccolo dies, then all this was pointless! Take him, get to the ship, and get out of here!

"This is surprisingly well-thought-out, even for him." Ruby admits.

GOHAN: This is surprisingly well thought-out for you.

"Yeah I just said that." the crimsonette states.

GOKU: Gohan, where should you be right now?

GOHAN: The ship?

GOKU: THE SHIP!

GOHAN: Okay! (takes Piccolo and flies away)

FRIEZA: Oh, real cute. But at the very least, I do love a moving target. (starts aiming at Gohan in the sky)

"Then I bet you also like a broken hand." the cat Faunus asks.

(Goku quickly appears in front of Frieza and grabs his hand)

FRIEZA: (struggling to break free of Goku's grasp) Gah! What are you--? Let go of me!

"Did you try to say 'please'?" Jaune wonders.

GOKU: I'm going to break you.

FRIEZA: (meekly) What? (Goku crushes his hand) Agh!

"He said he's going to break you..." Nora reminds Frieza unintenationally.

GOKU: Like a Kit-Kat bar.

"That sounds tasty." the hammer-wielder admits.

FRIEZA: (small pause) ...What???

"...Like a Kit-Kat bar." she finishes.

(Goku punches Frieza in the face, sending him flying across the sky)

FRIEZA: (thinking) What?!?

"He's going to break you like a Oum damn Kit-Kat bar!" Nora shouted out annoyingly.

"Nora! Calm down." her partner requests and she does.

(Goku grabs Frieza and breaks his back)

FRIEZA: Aaaaaaah! (recovers and starts firing a barrage of Death Beams at Goku) Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

(Goku easily dodges all the shots, with the last one destroying a small island)

"That's some next generation dodging." said the four-time champion. 

FRIEZA: You... you're different. What happened? What the hell are you?

"I think he became a god." JNPR's leader said.

GOKU: Can't you tell, Freezer? It's just like Vegeta said.

FRIEZA: No, you f**king don't!

"You see Frieza, you ain't dealing with average Saiyan anymore..." Ruby said out loud.

GOKU: I am the hope of the omniverse! "How does he know what a omniverse is?" Weiss asks, I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all the living things that cry out in hunger! "Meaning your willing to get eaten?" Blake questions. "Ha, no-homo!" Yang shouts out, I am the Alpha and the Amiga! "and the omega?" Ren corrects, I am the terror that flaps in the night! "So he's not the average space duck anymore?" Nora wonders, (starts powering up) I am Son Gokū! and I am a Super...

(Frieza shoots Goku in the face with a Death Beam and growls)

GOKU: (leans forward unharmed) ...Saiyan. (Frieza growls angrily)

"To be perfectly honest, that was amazingly well done." Pyrrha admits.

(cut to King Kai's planet with King Kai is stammering in utter surprise)

YAMCHA: King Kai, what's going on on Namek right now?

KING KAI: You know, you could always just grab my shoulder and watch.

YAMCHA: Yeah, but, you kinda... smell?

KING KAI: That's my natural musk. Musk... Musk...

TIEN: Stop saying "musk".

KING KAI: Stop eating my food.

KAMI: (telepathically) King Kai, do you hear me?

KING KAI: (telepathically) Oh. Hey, Kami. How's everything going along?

"Oh yeah, Kami's back too," Blake remembers, "kinda forgot about him, didn't we?" she asks and everyone agrees with her.

KAMI: (telepathically) Well, I sent off Mr. Popo to collect the Dragon Balls like you asked.

KING KAI: Good. The whole plan is coming together.

YAMCHA: I don't think you ever told us your plan.

KING KAI: I don't have to tell you everything! I don't have to tell you anything!

TIEN: And that just about sums up our time spent here.

KING KAI: Ha-ha.

(cut back to Namek with Gohan carrying Piccolo through the sky)

GOHAN: (notices Goku's ship) Huh? It's the ship! (takes Piccolo inside the ship) See Mr. Piccolo, we're halfway home. I mean, not literally but... just don't bleed out, okay? (thinking while noticing the ship's controls) God, so many buttons... "The 'Muffin button' is all that matters though." Nora drools out, I forgot, I don't know how to fly the ship. "The how the Grimmlands did Goku fly it, huh?" Weiss asks,I could have sworn somebody did that for... (out loud) Oh, my God, Bulma!

(cut to Bulma hanging on a cliff)

BULMA: Help...! Somebody...?

"Ah dammit, we forgot about her too." RWBY's ninja groans in shock.

(cut to Goku and Frieza)

FRIEZA: I have to admit, this is new, monkey, this is definitely new. "Keep calling him a monkey againand your name will be 'Racist Frieza', promise." said Yang, But a monkey is still a monkey; and I've killed plenty in my day. "SERIOUSLY?" everyone shouts out, Millions, literally millions. "When di-, oh during the Bardock special, ok." Jaune remembers, What's the matter, run out of quips? Cat got your tongue? No more words to fail? You think now that you're this so-called "Super Saiyan" that you're better than me, Lord Freeza?! "Dude, you needed to transform three times to be able to defeat piccolo, and he can beat you easily." reminded Ren, Well, you're not! I own you! I own your planet! I own this planet! In fact... (charges up a large orange energy sphere) F**K THIS PLANET!!! (throws energy blast directly at Namek)

GOKU: Wait, I was zoned out there for a second, what?

(Frieza's blast hits Namek's core, emitting a humongous explosion that seemingly destroyed Namek)

"Rest in peace 'this planet'." Nora jokes.

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: No... No, no! Son of a bitch! Gah!

YAMCHA: What's wrong, King Kai?

KING KAI: You dumb assholes are gonna be here forever.

TIEN: (scoffs) Yeah, real funny, King Kai. (King Kai remains silent) Oh, God, you're serious.

KING KAI: I had this whole plan ready to go, but as it turns out, Frieza's a sore loser and just...

CHIAOTZU: Blew himself up along with his opponent? (Tien and Yamcha are seen giving blank stares) What? It's what I do.

"If he can use explosion, does that make Chiaotzu a pokemon?" the ginger-haired girl wonders.

"I thought we established this before?" the heiress questions.

"I don't think we did." Jaune and Ruby admit in unison.

KING KAI: Yeah, only this time it worked. And now Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, everyone's dead! And I'm stuck with you idiots for the rest of my life!

KAMI: (telepathically) Should I call you back when you're done screaming, or is that just not happening?

KING KAI: And then there's this cu... (telepathically) Kami?

"Woh! Watch out for your language, there's kids watching!" Yang shouted in responds.

"Yang, how many times do I have to tell you, I'M A TEENAGER!"

"I know, but your still my baby sister." the blonde brawler said as she bear-hugs her the crimsonette.

KAMI: (telepathically) Yes, I wanted to inform you that Mr. Popo has acquired the sixth Dragon Ball and...

KING KAI: (telepathically) You're alive?

KAMI: (telepathically) So this is what counts for omnipotence these days, hmm?

"I do hope you realise he isn't acually a god anymore." Weiss hopes.

KING KAI: But if you're not dead, then that means Piccolo's not dead, and Namek is still there.

(shows an outside shot of Namek, which is still there but is now detonating due to its core being destroyed)

GOKU: Did... did ya miss?

"Even if he missed, it would've done not damage to you." the Mistral champion mentions.

FRIEZA: How could I miss?

GOKU: I dunno, how did ya?

FRIEZA: I know I hit the core... God, this always happens when I try and perform under stress.

"Yeah you do look stressed..." Ruby states as she recovers from her big sisters death-grip of a hug.

GOKU: Seems to me like you just couldn't go through with blowing us both up.

FRIEZA: That's not the problem, you idiot. I can breathe in space.

"Aha sure," Weiss states but realises, "HOW THE GRIMM?"

GOKU: (gasps) But space is a vacuum!

"He said something smart again." JNPR's leader notices.

FRIEZA: Honestly, I'd say you only have... I don't know, five min... is it five? Ye-yes five-- five minutes before this planet explodes, and you perish along with it.

GOKU: Oh. Well then, I'll just have to kill you in four.

"You could just kill him in five seconds, you know?" Ren realises.

FRIEZA: Wait, hold on! I'm only at half my full power.

GOKU: I don't see how that's my problem.

"Oh my Oum that makes sense." Jaune sarcastically says.

FRIEZA: No listen! If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza.

GOKU: You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's not gonna work anymore!

"Oh thank Oum he's not a baka." Nora signs in relief.

FRIEZA: Two pizzas!

GOKU: I said I'm done! (starts charging at Freeza) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--!

FREEZA: With stuffed crust.

(Goku immediately stops on a dime)

"No... why did you stop? WHY DID YOU STOP?" Yang questions annoyingly.

KING KAI: (telepathically, sounding both insistent and scolding) Gokuuuu...

GOKU: (telepathically) Now hear me out, King Kai. (Frieza starts powering up) If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it'll demoramalize him. And he'll never threaten anyone again.

KING KAI: Goku, that is retarded!

GOKU: Stuffed crust, King Kai! You can eat it in reverse. (inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart)

"I'd trade that for Krillin." Ruby whispers to herself.

KING KAI: I-I can't even believe we’re having this conversation.

"I can't believe he DIDN'T KILL HIM YET!" Yang angerly announces.

GOKU: (telepathically) Me either.

FRIEZA: (now at 100% full power) Thanks for waiting, by the way.

GOKU: (telepathically) Hold on a second, King Kai. (out loud to Frieza) What was tha--?

"OH COME ON!" the blonde brawler rages' out.

(Freeza punches Goku in the stomach)

GOKU: OOH!

FRIEZA: SMASH MONKEY! (starts pummeling Goku) SMASH MONKEY!!

"What does that even mean?" Blake asks in confusion.

(cut to Gohan flying in the sky, searching for Bulma)

GOHAN: Bulma, where are you?

(Bulma is heard making Taz snarling noises, which catches Gohan's attention and spots her on top of a cliff. Cut to Gohan flying Bulma back to the ship.)

"What the Grimm, is that her primal side being unleashed?" Nora asks.

BULMA: Oh, well how nice of you to finally come and get me... only you left me stranded on my own to fend for myself! Planet's going to hell, I almost die, and I'M FREAKING THE F**K OUT!!!

GOHAN: (while giving an annoyed look at Bulma) Bulma, how high would you have to fall from to hit terminal velocity? "I'd say, about 195 kilometers per hour." Weiss said with basuc mathamatics, (Bulma glares at Gohan and gives no reply) I thought so.

(cut to Frieza kneeing Goku in the stomach)

FRIEZA: I just love how easy it is to get away with this shit with you people. I want to transform, you just sit there and let me. I want to blow the planet up, you just sit there and let me. I want reach 100% power, and you just sit right there and let me!

GOKU: (not really fazed by Frieza's assault) So, can I get a Meat Lover's? (Frieza knees him in the face) UNGH!

"Oh, I love those too," Yang coos ou, "No homo." she then whispers.

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: And that is my star pupil. I don’t even know why I bother...

"I mean it is Goku..." Ruby rationalises.

"Exactly." Blake states.

KAMI: (telepathically) King Kai, are you there?

KING KAI: (telepathically) Oh Kami, do you have an update for me?

KAMI: (telepathically) Apparently, it's all I'm good for anymore. I wanted to tell you that Mr. Popo has acquired the final Dragon Ball and is ready to summon the dragon.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Awesome, now let me talk to him.

KAMI: (telepathically) Heh, if you insist.

KING KAI: Alright, now Mr. Popo-- (antennae explodes, knocking him down) "PECKING ORDER!" Nora shouts out, Gah! (telepathically to Kami) How the hell do you work with this guy?!

"He doesn't, Kami works for him." the cat Faunus believes.

KAMI: (telepathically) It's easier than you think.

(cut to Mr. Popo on Earth with all seven Dragon Balls)

MR. POPO: I'm so f***ing high right now! (summons Shenron, the eternal dragon)

"Nice." Jaune whimpers.

"what else is new?" Weiss asks with some fear in her tone.

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. Speak your wish and I shall... (notices Mr. Popo) Oh, it is you, my master. Is it time to lay waste to this world?

"Wait, what?" everyone asks at once.

MR. POPO: Eh, not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years, see if they can clean this up.

SHENRON: Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?

MR. POPO: Good question. Kami, The f**k am I doing?

"Forgot he didn't tell them." Pyrrha realises.

KAMI: (telepathically) Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?

KING KAI: (gets helped up by Tien) Ah, my head. (telepathically) Okay, listen, I want you to bring back everyone Frieza and his men have killed.

"Wait... Nappa?" Nora questions with excitement.

KAMI: (telepathically) Why?

"Because all of them were probably innocent people." Ruby states.

"Oh wait never mind, he killedd Vegeta." Weiss notices.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Are you questioning God?

KAMI: (telepathically) Are you?

KING KAI: (telepathically) Not in the mood, Kami!

KAMI: (telepathically) Fine! Not my problem anyway. Mr. Popo--

MR. POPO: I heard. Dragon, bring back all the worthless maggots that were killed by Frieza and his men or, whatever.

SHENRON: As you command, so it shall be. (eyes start glowing)

(cut to Porunga emerging from the water, now back to life, before shifting to Guru's house)

GURU: (wakes up) Aaaah! Oh. Oh... right. I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there. "A couple, huh?" Blake said in disbelieve, (notices the destruction of Namek) Oh, God, global warming? NAAAAAIIILLLL!!!

(cut to a Namekian village where all of Namekians are waking up, being brought back to life by Shenron)

MOURI: Ah, why is my neck so stiff?

"You don't remember anything?" Jaune questions in confusion.

DBZ logic bro." Nora gestures.

(cut to Vegeta's grave)

"Just like a vegetable, he comes from the ground." the cat Faunus said in a poetic way.

VEGETA: (makes muffled noises as he emerge from his grave) When there's no more room in hell, VEGETA SHALL WALK THE... (turns around notices the destruction of Namek) ...other hell, what the hell? (thinking) Well, I have my clothes back-- so at least that's a start. Am I alive? (punches himself in the ribs) Argh! Augh! (falls on the ground) Yay! I'm alive! (coughs blood at the ground)

(cut to Dende)

DENDE: (wakes up and gets on his feet) I’m alive? I'm alive! And... (notices Porunga in the distance) And I have an idea.

"Yeah, little green is back!" Ruby cheers.

"Wait, shouldn't Krillin be back too?" Yang wonders.

(cut to Frieza ramming straight into Goku and burying him in a hole hundreds of feet underground before jumping out of the hole, which explodes with lava)

FRIEZA: Well, now you’re Super Saiyan soup, high in vitamin dumbass! (laughs and looks up at the sky) Huh? Oh, God, what's up with the sky? This planet really is about to blow. I give it like... two minutes tops. I better get to my ship and-- (gets kneed in the face by Goku) Stop that! Stop not dying! You think you're better than me? You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!

GOKU: And you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer! "Ouuu fraky freak," Yang said out loud, (thinking) Man, Freezer's stronger than ever at a hundred percent. I’ll have to stratergize. I know, a distraction! (out loud to Frieza) Hey look, Freezer! A giant dragon! (referring to Porunga)

FRIEZA: What? (looks and sees Porunga) Well, I'll be damned! Immortality is mine! (Flies off)

GOKU: (thinking) Oh, I am become error. (flies after Frieza)

"That dumbass..." Weiss groans.

(Goku manages to catch up to Frieza and once again engages him in battle)

FRIEZA: Will you just piss off already!?

GOKU: I don't have to use the bathroom!

"Nice comeback." RWBY's ninja admits.

(cut to Vegeta flying in the sky)

VEGETA: (thinking) All right, I know one of the Ginyu's ships must be around here somewhe-- (sees Goku and Frieza battling it out) Yeah, I think I'ma stay away from that one. (sees Porunga) That, however. Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine...

(cut to Frieza dodging Goku's attacks and proceeds to kick him in his *ahem* "Gotens")

GOKU: Ah, my Gotens!

FRIEZA: Filthy wish dragon, grant me immortality as so I may rid myself of these vile creatures, and secure myself as ruler of all creation!

PORUNGA: (in Namekian/Klingon) Your wish has been granted.

(Namekians start disappearing)

FRIEZA: What? No! This isn't what I wished for! What's going on?!

"Oh yeah, you need to speak Namekian to make a wish on those Dragon Balls." Ren remembers.

DENDE: (off-screen) Down here!

(Frieza looks down and sees, Dende, who's beaming proudly)

FRIEZA: You! No... No, you didn't!

"Ye-eah! Yeah he did!" Nora cheered with a evil grin.

DENDE: So what if I did? What are you gonna do about it, huh? Come at me, bro!

"Nobody, fucks, with the White Mage." Jaune curses out and cheers at the same time.

FRIEZA: Hyah! (fires a blast at Dende, but the latter poofs away before it hits)

VEGETA: Hey Frieza! Hope you’re ready to party, because it's Vegeta clo--

(Vegeta disappears before he can attack Frieza. It then shows Guru, Piccolo, Bulma, and Gohan, disappearing before Porunga rises in the sky and vanishes in the sky.)

FRIEZA: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NOOOOOOO... (all seven Dragon Balls rise in the sky and get separated) What just happened? Where did they all go?

GOKU: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually just as lost as you.

(cut to Earth)

BULMA: (thinking) Huh? Are we...? (out loud) Huh?

(Gohan appears on a tree)

GOHAN: Bulma!

BULMA: Gohan! What do you think happened?

GOHAN: I don't know. We just disappeared all of a sudden.

"Oh nothing. Just a mild case of PLANETARY EXPLOSION!" the crimsonette sarcastically screams out.

DENDE: (thinking) Ahhh, it's good to be the king.

"Damn right!" Yang agrees.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Hello? Who am I speaking to right now?

DENDE: (telepathically) My name is Dende.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Dende? Are you the one who made the wish on the dragon?

"At least the Kai said his name right..." Jaune notices.

DENDE: (telepathically) I am.

KING KAI: (telepathically) How the hell did you know my plan?

DENDE: (telepathically) What plan? I just wanted to screw over Frieza.

"Oh that smug little Namekian." RWBY's brawler grins with respect.

(cut back to Namek)

GOKU: You know, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not immortal, either. And I'm okay with that.

(FrIeza looks at Goku and starts growling in anger)

GOKU: Are you just mad cause I'ma outlive you now?

FRIEZA: GRRR! (punches Goku into the ground) Aaaaaahhh! (starts charging up a 100% Death Ball) Bigger! (Death Ball grows bigger) Bigger! (Death Ball grows more bigger) BIGGER! (Death Ball grows even more bigger)(thinking) Perfect!

(Frieza throws the Death Ball at Goku. Goku manages to catch the Death Ball with both hands.)

GOKU: Yaaaah! (punches the Death Ball away from Namek, which blows up a nearby planet) Nice try! But you won't be destroying any more planets! (shows the floating rubble of the destroyed planet) Um... except, you know... that one... Hm.

(Frieza grabs Goku from behind with a bear hug, causing Goku to squeak)

GOKU: Ah! Bad touch! Kidney shot! (elbows Frieza in the ribs, causing the tyrant to whimper in abject pain) Kidney shot, kidney shot, kidney shot, and pause... stomach punch! (punches Frieza hard in the stomach, causing him to cough up blood and fall to the ground)

"I mean it could be... actually we don't know Frieza's anatomy." Weiss realises.

FRIEZA: (weakly) Gonna wiz red...

(cut to Earth where Dende heals Piccolo)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Wha...? (out loud) Wha...?

DENDE: Welcome back, Nail.

PICCOLO: Where... am I?

DENDE: May I hug you?

PICCOLO: No!

DENDE: (looks down sadly) Oh.

PICCOLO: (gets on his feet and looks around) Gohan!

GOHAN: (runs up to Piccolo and Dende) Mr. Piccolo! And Dende? But, I thought that--

DENDE: Turns out we're all alive! (sniggers) Except Krillin. How unfortunate.

GURU: Naaaail. Naaaaaaail! Naaaaaaaiiill!

"Naaaaaaaiiill!" Nora shouts out too.

PICCOLO: (thinking) I think he's looking for you.

NAIL: (Do not tell him I'm here.)

GURU: Nail, I can sense you...

"Well, so much for that." Blake deadpans.

NAIL: (Do not make eye contact!)

GOHAN: You know, looking around, it seems like the only people who were brought back were those killed by Frieza and his men.

PICCOLO: Huh. That's convenient.

(a Namekian is seen walking up to Mouri)

NAMEKIAN 1: Sir, we cannot find the Tagrok tribe.

NAMEKIAN 2: Wait, you mean that one guy who really liked showing off his Dragon Ball?

NAMEKIAN 1: Yeah, that dumbass.

"And look where that got him." Ren states.

VEGETA: (appears in front of the Namekians) Oh, I wonder what sort of handsome, dashing rogue could have been responsible for their deaths. Oh wait, it was me.

GURU: Ha! Nice.

NAMEKIAN 3: He massacred an entire village!

GURU: Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you... I don't really like any of you. Except him. (refers to a Namekian child)

(the Namekian Dragon Balls, now turned to stone, all land on Earth, with one of them crushing the one Namekian child Guru liked)

GURU: (starts laughing but suddenly gags) Oh, God, I'm actually dying this time...

NAMEKIAN 4: Lord Guru! You can't leave us!

GURU: I’m sorry, my children, but I must leave you now. My time is at an end. But before I leave, I must confess my sins.

NAMEKIAN 4: What do you mean?

GURU: Do you remember the great drought that befell our planet?

MOURI: The one that nearly wiped out our race?

GURU: Yeah.

NAMEKIAN 5: The one caused by those filthy albinos?

GURU: Yeah...

NAMEKIAN 3: The ones we purged as per your instruction?

GURU: YEAH... See, I might have shifted the blame on that one.

"Wait, what?" everyone question in confusion.

MOURI: You what?

GURU: Remember when I said they were the ones responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?

NAMEKIAN 4: We slaughtered thousands!

"But not enough, apparently." said Blake.

GURU: It was me.

"I knew it." Weiss calls out.

NAMEKIAN 5: How?

GURU: I drank it.

NAMEKIAN 3: Wha...?

GURU: How do you think I got so fat(shows Mouri and a group of Namekians staring at Guru in stunned silence)And now, I can die with a clear conscience. "But not a clear bladder." Nora states, (groans but does not die) Uh... (groans again, but is still alive) Uh-oh.

MOURI: Kill him!

GURU: NO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL! (the mob of angry Namekians bring Guru to the ground and brutally murder him off-screen)

(the camera shows Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo, and Vegeta's shocked expressions while this going on, with Vegeta even doing a jaw drop in utter suprise)

 

GURU: (while getting slaughtered) Choke on them! Choke on them...!

Even the hunters were in utter shock of Super Kami Guru being murdered off-screen. 

(Cut back to Namek where Goku and Frieza continue their fight inside a Namekian house. Goku punches Frieza out of the house, knocked him down to the ground.)

FRIEZA: (thinking) Rrrrgh! Dirty monkey--! (turns around but Goku is already gone) Huh? Where--? (turns and looks directly at Goku's abs) Oh, my God, you could grind meat on it-- (realizes it's Goku) AAH! (steps back)

"Mama likes those abs." the blonde brawler suductively whispers to herself.

(small bit of silence as Goku looks at Frieza with loathing)

GOKU: ... I'm done.

FRIEZA: What?

GOKU: I'm done fighting you... I'm bored... You're boring me.

FRIEZA: Wha--? Oh, I get it. You're scared, aren't you? Afraid knowing that this planet only has one minute left before it explodes.

GOKU: Question.

FRIEZA: Huh?

GOKU: Do you have a watch?

FRIEZA: No, why?

GOKU: Do you know what a minute is?

"Shots fired." Jaune realising that Goku is burning Frieza with his prospective of time.

FRIEZA: What? Of course I do!

GOKU: I don't think you do.

"See? Even Goku calls grimmshit!" Weiss curses out.

FRIEZA: Uh, but, uh--

GOKU: Anyway, I'ma leave now. (powers down to his base form) Try not to blow up any more planets. Else I'ma hafta kill ya. (flies off)

FRIEZA: You can't just... We're not... You little...! (growls and charges up a Death Saucer) Hey monkey, you forgot your pizza!

"What the Grimmlands? That's one thin-ass pizza." the hammer-wielder mentions.

GOKU: Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me-- (almost gets cut by the Death Saucer) That's not a pizza...! THAT'S NOT A PIZZA AT ALL!!! (transforms back into his Super Saiyan form)

FRIEZA: Now, to end this! (tries to guide the Death Saucer at Goku but misses) I... uh, huh? Oh, come on now, I... Ugh, this blasted thing! (starts to have trouble controlling the Death Saucer)

GOKU: What are you doing down there? You trying to swat a bee? 'Cause I don't like bees.

"Don't BEE mean." Yang using her puns again.

FRIEZA: (still struggling to control the Death Saucer) No, don't worry, I'm just... Oh, what is going on? What are these, inverted controls? Who even uses-- "So what... has he never used this attack before?" Pyrrha questions, (gains control of the Death Saucer) AH! GOT IT! (Goku avoids the Death Saucer, disappearing in an Afterimage) DAMN IT!

"Took you long enough." the heiress complained.

"And did he think it'd work?" the cat Faunus questions.

GOKU: So, are you just stealing Krillin's attacks now? (is shown getting chased by the Death Saucer) Or should I watch out for the Tri-Beam? Or the Garlic Gun? "That's Vegeta's" Ruby mentions, Or the Makakapotamus? "Piccolo's apparently." she continues.

FRIEZA: HYAH! (hits Goku with the Death Saucer) Gotcha, bitch! (Goku is seen vanishing) Huh? "Not quite." Ren states, (Goku completely vanishes) URRRGH!

GOKU: Don't feel bad, Krillin never hits anyone with it, either. Anyway, you done?

FRIEZA: Oh, far from it. (charges up another Death Saucer) I just remembered, I promised you TWO pizzas!

(Goku flies away, being chased by two Death Saucers, and then flies right through them and towards Frieza)

"Still no stuffed crust, though." the scythe-wielder comments.

"Still thin as hell too." the hammer-wielder adds-on.

"Wait, so now he can use it properly? With two of them?" the cat Faunus questions in confusion.

FRIEZA: Really? You seriously think that that pathetic million-year-old trick is going to... (Goku fires an energy blast directly in front of Frieza's feet, covering the area in smoke) (thinking) Clever dick! (avoids the Death Saucers by jumping into the sky) Where'd that flying monkey go?

GOKU: HYAH! (kicks Frieza in the stomach)

FRIEZA: WAAAAAAAH!

GOKU: Now say you're sorry! (Repeatedly slaps Frieza in the face. The camera even plays in slow motion in front of Frieza's face to show his reaction in each hit.)  Are you sorry yet?!

The hunters laughed at Goku literally bitch-slapping Frieza in slow motion.

FRIEZA: (thinking) I think I peed a little...

The hunter-trainees laughed really hard at Frieza's responce.

"That's how to play '20 questions' against Frieza." jaune notes down while laughing in between each word.

GOKU: YAAAH! (spikes Frieza to the ground, who forms a small hole upon landing)

FRIEZA: I am DONE. (jumps out of the hole)

GOKU: Freezer, look out behind you!

FRIEZA: I already told you, that trick won't work! (one Death Saucer is seen approaching Frieza)

GOKU: No, seriously, get down!

FREEZA: Oh, ha-ha! Keep going, you STUPID INBRED MONKEY--! (gets split in half by his own Death Saucers, losing his left arm and the lower half of his body, along with most of his tail) "I don't think he SAW that one coming." Yang joked again, (meekly) Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore... (body parts fall to the ground)

"Guess he broke... lika Kit-Kat bar." Nora quoted from the beginning of the episode.

(Cut to Namek where Frieza's severed body falls to the ground. Cut to King Kai's planet.)

KING KAI: Oh, my God...!

TIEN: You know, you keep reacting, trying to prompt us to ask what's going on. You could just tell us.

KING KAI: All right, fine. Frieza got cut in half.

YAMCHA: Whoa!

TIEN: Wow, I didn't think Goku had it in him.

KING KAI: He doesn't. Frieza did it to himself.

(cut back to Namek)

FRIEZA: Aaaah! My organs! Stay in there--stay in your home--daddy needs you!

GOKU: Wow Freezer, you really were a cut above the rest. (Frieza groans) But too bad you didn't make the cut(Frieza groans harder) Guess you could call this a slice of life.

Yang made mental notes to herself about Goku's puns.

FRIEZA: Please stop!

"Please do, Yang is bad enough as it is." Weiss groans.

GOKU: All right then, I'll cut you a break. I’m gonna split(turns around and starts to walk away)

The hunters groan as Goku continues to use puns while unintentionally.

FRIEZA: Wait! Wait! Wait! I... I know I've done a lot of terrible things, killed quite a number of people, some of which you liked, but may I ask you as one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?

GOKU: Well...

KING KAI: (telepathically) NO! NO! NO! (spoken from his planet) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

TIEN: I'm not even asking anymore.

GOKU: Yaaah! (gives Frieza some of his energy) "Well, colour me surprised." Blake sarcastically siad, Now be responsible with this energy--don't use to hurt anymore people, or on the drugs.

FRIEZA: (wakes up) What, but why?

GOKU: I'm gonna go now, got a long trip home. I'd ask if I could take one of your legs with me, but you're probably hungry too. Bye! (flies away)

FRIEZA: Huh? (thinking) He's... really just leaving me here. He gave me his energy and left me. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should change. Maybe this is my second and last chance. Maybe... I was wrong. "Is heabout to have a change of heart?" Ruby hoped, (out loud) NAH!(clenches his fist and fires one last energy wave, the "I'm The One Who Will Kill You!" Energy Wave, at Goku)

And the scythe-wielders hope was then shattered back when The Intiation started.

GOKU: God dang it, Freezer, now I have to give you more! (fires an Angry Kamehameha, which overpowers Frieza's attack)

FRIEZA: No, no, no, no, no, no, no--! (gets hit by Goku's Angry Kamehameha) YAAAAAAAAAAAAH...!

(the blast explodes, leaving an enormous crater in the water with Frieza nowhere to be seen)

GOKU: (thinking) Huh. Don't see him anymore. Guess he took the energy and left. Speaking of which, where am I going?

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Ooh! Aaah! Huah! Aaah!

YAMCHA: Ahh--

TIEN: Don't you dare.

KING KAI: Huah! (...) Okay, you win! Goku blew Frieza up.

TIEN: See, was that so hard?

KING KAI: Well, not as hard as it's gonna be to get off Namek.

(cut back to Namek where Goku is trying to find his ship)

GOKU: (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, now it looks all the same but on fire! (notices Frieza's ship) Ah, a ship! (lands inside Frieza's ship and starts running) All right, gotta find it!

KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku, hurry!

(Goku is seen running inside Frieza's ship. Cut to Earth where Gohan is looking up in the sky, worried about his father. Cut back to inside Frieza's ship where Goku destroys a door and reaches the control room.)

GOKU: The controls! Where is it, where is it? (lava erupts nearby Frieza's ship)

KING KAI: It's about to blow!

HURRY UP GOKU!" Ruby screamed out in fear.

GOKU: (thinking) Come on, come on! (finds a button) There! (presses the button, and out comes... a muffin) Yes! (keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up)

"Frieza's ship makes MUFFINS!" uby cheered, forgetting about Planet Namek's detonation.

KING KAI: (lowers his head in total disbelief) Oh, my God...

"Oh, my Oum..." Weiss, Blake and Ren groaned in disappointment.

GOKU: (continues pressing the button, spawning more muffins) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY...! (Namek explodes, vanishing completely from the face of the galaxy)

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: It's... it's over.

YAMCHA: What?

KING KAI: Goku could not escape the explosion. Namek is gone, and so is he.

YAMCHA: No... Goku, no...! NOOOOO! (drops to his knees and starts sobbing)

Even some of the hunter trainnes looked sad too, those being Ruby, Nora, Yang, Jaune and Pyrrha.

TIEN: Why do you care?

YAMCHA: Ah, what?

This also startled the sad hunters as well.

TIEN: Why do any of you care? Are you forgetting the whole reason that they went to Namek in the first place? Now we have two sets of Dragon Balls.

YAMCHA: Well, yeah, but you make it sound like death has no consequence.

TIEN: It really doesn't. We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.

CHIAOTZU: Next time I get a free sundae!

YAMCHA: Huh.

KING KAI: Huh.

TIEN: Yeah.

(small pause)

"You know, now that I think about it," Weiss says, "there has to be some type of negative comeback if the Dragon Balls are overused too many time."

KING KAI: So, who wants to tell Bulma?

YAMCHA: Let me do it. Bulma's my girl.

KING KAI: Heh! Yeah, okay. Go ahead, stud.

(cut to Earth where Mouri is seen with purple blood on his face)

MOURI: And now that I have devoured Guru, I have become the new grand elder!

BULMA: Huh, seems legit.

"But how does that work?" Blake wonders.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Hey, Bulma! It's me, Yamcha.

BULMA: Oh, hey, hold on a moment, my ex is calling me.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Hey, girl. It's good to... Wait, ex? What's that about?

BULMA: Yeah, I'm breaking up with you.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Wha--? But why?

BULMA: You haven't called me in months.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) I have been dead!

BULMA: Oh, well, that’s not stopping you now is it?

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Do not do this right now!

BULMA: Hey, you wanna know how this is ending? (to Vegeta) Hey, Vegeta. Wanna come live with me?

VEGETA: Only if it's got a pool.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) He's the reason I'm dead!

BULMA: Well then, I guess he's just more of a man then you, isn't he?

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Oh, you dirty BITCH!

KING KAI: Yeah, okay, I'm gonna take over-- this isn't going anywhere.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Now you listen here...

KING KAI: (telepathically) Tenshinhan. (a snapping sound is heard)

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Aaah! My good leg!

"How can someone brake a already dead-persons leg?" Jaune questions.

"Grimm if we know." Pyrrha responds.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Okay listen, Gohan's fatherless and the Namekians are homeless so... that's a thing. Have fun delivering the message, now I gotta go cast up Yamcha's leg.

YAMCHA: (telepathically) Why!? (a hanging up sound is heard)

BULMA: Huh. Well, uh, Gohan, Goku's dead.

GOHAN: Damn it!

BULMA: Namekians, your planet blew up.

NAMEKIANS: (in unison) Damn it!

BULMA: So, until we can use the Dragon Balls, who wants a big ol' sleepover?

MOURI: You think you can accommodate the entirety of my people?

"I'm surprised that there aren't that many Namekians on Namek to begin with." Ren admits.

BULMA: My dad's a billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist.

(a ship is shown flying over to their are, with '"Back in Black" by ACDC 'playing inside)

BULMA: Speak of the devil. (the ship lands on the ground)

GOHAN: Wait, I feel a dark presence in the ship. (the hatch opens with Chi-Chi running out of the ship and stopping in front of a group of Namekians)

CHI-CHI: (in a demonic voice) WHERE'S MY BABY?!

The hunters were dead silent when Chi-Chi charged out with demonic voice, narely mistaking it for Grimm's speech-patten in english.

(cut to the ship taking everyone to the Capsule Corporation in West City)

NARRATOR: And so, the Namekians were relocated to the Briefs' compound.

DR. BRIEFS: (referring to the group of Namekians) So honey, you say all of these are your friends from high school?

BULMA: Yes, Dad.

DR. BRIEFS: Tell them to keep out of my scotch!

(cut to the Mouri playing golf)

NARRATOR: The Namekian adults learned golf.

GOLF ANNOUNCER: (silently) Tricky bit of putting here. Very difficult read from this angle and the greens have been running rather fast today. Mouri looks like he's aiming slightly to the right of the hole and... (Mouri makes the shot) good for par.

(cut to Dende and two Namekian children playing cards)

NARRATOR: The Namekian children learned strip poker.

"Wait, what?" Everyone question in shock.

DENDE: All right, sprouts, lay 'em on the table.

(cut to Gohan studying at his house)

NARRATOR: Gohan caught up with all his studies.

CHI-CHI: You read it, your learn it, you love it!

GOHAN: But Mom, I've already read Huck Finn.

CHI-CHI: (holds up an "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" book) Yes, but this one had the n-word taken out!

(cut to Piccolo mediating)

NARRATOR: Piccolo... did his usual thing; only with company.

NAIL: (So, uh, you wanna go hang out with our race?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) No...

NAIL: ('Cause, you know, this maybe the last chance we'll ever get.)

PICCOLO: (thinking) No.

NAIL: (Well, you're boring.)

PICCOLO: (thinking) And you're ruining my meditation.

NAIL: (You're not meditating, you're napping--I know the difference!)

(cut to Vegeta standing next to a Capsule Corporation spaceship)

NARRATOR: Vegeta did what he does best...

VEGETA: Sayonara, bitches! (steals spaceship and launches into space)

DR. BRIEFS: Son of a bitch took my scotch!

BULMA: Call me!

NARRATOR: And soon four months--or one Namekian year--passed, and the Namekian Dragon Balls became ready for use.

(cut to Dende, Bulma, Master Roshi, Piccolo, Dr. and Mrs. Briefs, Mouri, and the rest of the Namekians standing in front of the now functional Namekian Dragon Balls)

DENDE: During our time squatting here on Earth, we taught the Dragon how to speak English.

BULMA: Oh, well, that's convenient.

DENDE: Rise Porunga!

BULMA: Wait a second, I just thought of something, maybe we shouldn't do this out in the middle of the... (sky turns dark and Porunga rises out of the Dragon Balls)

WOMAN: (notices Porunga in the sky) Aaah! Godzirra!

(crowd starts frantically screaming "Godzirra")

"Oh, so that's what one of the reactions the population have when the Grimm invade a Kingdom." Ruby said in curosity.

POLICE OFFICER: (holding up a megaphone) Attention everybody. *clears throat* Godzirra, Godzirra. Godzirra, Godzirra, Godzirra. Godzirra, Godzirra.

(most of the crowd sighs in relief and continues to say "Godzirra" in mild interest and go back to their own business)

PORUNGA: You have summoned the great Porunga. Make your wish and I'll--

DENDE: Okay listen, I'm sure you get this a lot, but can we just get like six wishes? 'Cause we're just gonna bring you back again in four months and do this crap again. Plus, we're just bringing some schmucks back to life.

"Plus I don't think theres enough time for three wishs then wait for four months only for another three wishes." Yang realises.

PORUNGA: Well, that is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate.

DENDE: And a planet.

PORUNGA: Oh, that's just a dick move!

DENDE: All right, let's get the hard one out of the way. Dragon, build the Namekians a new Namek!

PORUNGA: (eyes glow red) Donezo.

DENDE: Sweet! All right, you guys do whatever you want.

BULMA: First, Tien and Chiaotzu!

(Porunga's eyes glow red and Tien and Chiaotzu get brought back to life)

"Wait, I thought that Porunga can only bring back one person per wish?" Pyyrha remembers correctly.

"I guess there's a loop hole of sorts." Blake mentions.

CHIAOTZU: Oh, hey...! We're back! Kinda want that sundae, though.

TIEN: Chiaotzu...

CHIAOTZU: I'll wait.

BULMA: Next, (in disdain) Yamcha.

YAMCHA: (falls inside a pond) Aah! There's water in my cast! I'm gonna get gangrene! Aaaah!

DENDE: And I guess you want to wish back your dad now, huh?

GOHAN: Actually, we want to save him for last.

(brief pause between the two)

DENDE: Yeah, like I said, you want to wish your dad back, right?

GOHAN: Dende, we have to wish Krillin back.

DENDE: Ugh, fine. We wish back... Krillin.

KRILLIN: (gets brought back to life) WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH!

GOHAN: Krillin, you're alive!

KRILLIN: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH!

"Seriously? He's still going, after four months?" Yang said in surprise

"Good Oum the lungs on him." Jaune comments.

GOHAN: Eh, just give him a minute. And now, last but not least, bring back my dad!

DENDE: Bring back his dad!

(Porunga's eyes start glowing but suddenly stops)

PORUNGA: I cannot do this.

GOHAN: (laughs but stops) What?

PORUNGA: The one called Goku is still alive.

"WHAT!?" everyone shout out in surprise.

GOHAN: Wh-What? He is?

BULMA: That's great! Then just wish him here.

GOHAN: Dragon, will my father here!

(Porunga's eyes start glowing but stops again)

PORUNGA: Uh, sorry. Can't do that either.

GOHAN: Okay, what?

PORUNGA: The one called Goku wishes not to return.

GOHAN: Pardon?

DENDE: He said your father wishes not to return.

GOHAN: I heard what he said. I want an explanation!

"Yeah, why doesn't he want to come back with his family and friends?" Nora wonders.

PORUNGA: Well, I'm sorry. Wishing all your other friends back to life and building a planet has left me a little worn out! He doesn't want to come back, end of story. Now, if you have another wish for me, I can try that. Otherwise, bite me!

DENDE: Gohan, I... I know it must be hard, but maybe your dad is off somewhere else, doing something really important. I just want you to know that... that I’m here for you and... and that... I... I love you.

"Wha, what did we just hear?" Pyrrha questions in confusion.

"I-I think Dende confessed his love to... Gohan?" Jaune summarised.

GOHAN: (completely stunned) Wha--? What?

DENDE: Wha... What did I--? Did-did I say it too soon? (starts freaking out) Oh, God, I said it too soon! OH, GOD, I F**KED IT UP! DRAGON, TAKE EVERYONE FROM OLD NAMEK AND PUT THEM ON NEW NAMEK!

(All the Namekians get teleport away to New Namek and the sky light up. Bulma places her hand on Gohan's shoulder while everyone else looks up toward the sky.)

DR. BRIEFS: What a fa--

The hunters laughed at Dr. Briefs potenial insult.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cut to Vegeta's spaceship flying off in space)

VEGETA: This ship will take me where I need to go. Now I can train without anyone bothering me. ("Ghostbusters" ringtone starts playing) What the hell is that? A phone? (turns on phone, revealing the caller to be Nappa)

NAPPA: Hey, it's me. Don't ask me how I got this number, I've got people.

"Oh, my, Oum!" Nora said excitedly.

Uh oh." Ren feared.

"NAPPA'S BACK!!!" the hammer-wielder exploded in cheer and excitement for her favourite character being alive again.

VEGETA: What the hell is going on?!

NAPPA: Okay listen, I figured out that they used the Dragon Balls to wish back everyone that was killed by Frieza’s men. Technically, you worked for Frieza when you killed me, so BAM, Nappa's back, baby! Woo-whoo!

VEGETA: What about all the ones you killed?

NAPPA: Well, technically I worked for you, but that has changed. I'm in Hollywood now!

VEGETA: What, are they doing a live adaptation of Mr. Clean?

NAPPA: Ha! That's hilarious. Find me the guy who writes your material and give me his number, because I'm a producer now.

VEGETA: Of course you are. What do you even do?

NAPPA: Actually, I'm in charge of this new project-- wrote it myself. It’s about this one guy who’s killed tragically by his best friend, but then comes back as a ghost and haunts him. I call it: "Citizen Nappa". Merchandising rights alone are gonna make a f**king mint. We just signed on this great new actor, too. Name's Mark Satan. (shows Vegeta a picture of Mark Satan) Need to work on the first name, thinking "Hercule". What do you think?

"That sounds amazing." Nora cheered out.

VEGETA: I...

NAPPA: Why do I care? You're not in my board.

VEGETA: But I...

NAPPA: Listen, I'll see you around, and when you're back on Earth, give me a call. We'll do lunch! Ciao! (hangs up)

VEGETA: God... damn it... Nappa.

(Vegeta's spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)

[CREDITS PLAY]

[BONUS SCENE]

(cut to the floating rubble and debris of old Namek, where Freeza's mutilated body is floating around in space)

FRIEZA: (weakly) Dragon Balls... Dragon Balls...

"How is he still alive?" Jaune worried.

(What's left of Frieza's body continues to drift off in space until it was founded by another spaceship arriving at the scene, which is his father's, King Cold. Frieza immediately gets taken on board and put in a healing tank before being put back together with several cybernetic parts by King Cold's men, being reborn as a cyborg.)

FRIEZA: What happened to Namek? What happened to the Dragon Balls?

KING COLD: It seems, my little princess, in your anger, you destroyed them both.

FRIEZA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Did they really reused a scene from one of the Star Wars movies?"

"Guess so." Ruby confirmed.

(camera shows an outside view of the cosmos before fading completely black, with the word "PLTLH" appearing at the bottom right of the screen)

The hunters stoped the series there for now due to the fact that the sun is just about down and they looked at their Scrolls, with the time showing '6;45 p.m.'.

"Wow, this seemed to lasted double the time length of the previous season." Pyyrha stated as she, and the others, gets up and stretched out her arms and legs after sitting though a couple of hours worth of videos.

"Hey, do you guys want to get something to eat?" Jaune gestured, and they agreed and when with him.

They discussed what they should do next, but Weiss interrupts her and reminds both Teams RWBY and JNPR are in the Vytal Festival Tournament soon so they should begin practicing their combat skills, communication and team attacks by sometime tomorrow. Both teams agree and they've temperaturely stopped watching the series until the touranment is completed.

After they had something to eat from the mess hall, they turned in for the night and sleeped of the recent series they watched replaying in their minds.

Chapter Text

Several weeks have passed since the Vytal Festival Tournament started, with the Teams Rounds kicking things off incredibile so and followed with exciting Doubles Rounds. But when the Singles Rounds began... lets just say not everyone was in the best of moods after Yang Xioa Long broke Mercury Black's legs after the match was over.

The blonde of Team RWBY was quarantined to her dorm room and her weapons, Ember Celica, were confiscated until the festival is over. Her teammates, friends, and sister tried to confort her by any means until General Ironwood talks to her personally.

"Hey guys," Jaunes catching everyones attention, "do you wanna watch more of those abridged episodes, you know, to pass the time?" Everyone agrees with the idea as Ruby sets up a 'special' episode.

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Bardock confronting Zarbon, Dodoria, and Freeza in space outside planet Vegeta)

"Wait, is this another special relating to this 'Bardock' character?" Weiss questions.

"Appearantly so." Blake confirms.

NARRATOR: A familiar scene plays before you. A lone renegade stands at the precipice of global annihilation. The grim punctuation to his warrior race.

FREEZA: You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it. (begins charging a Supernova from his finger)

BARDOCK: You don't... You have no goddamned idea.

"What is he- Oh he can see the future, I kinda forgot about that." Ruby remembers.

ZARBON: Mmm, and even if you told every single Saiyan, none of them would have even believed you.

BARDOCK: Just...please stop talking.

DODORIA: And you never even got a chance to say goodbye to your son.

BARDOCK: (thinking) I have one of those? *gasps* Oh, God, I have two of those!

"How can someone like him forget about his kids?" Pyrrha wonders in disgrace. Yang's eyes turned red as she thinks of her "mother" abanded her and her father many years ago, until her step-mother, Summer Rose, temporarily forfil that role, and her eyes reverted back to their lilac colour.

FREEZA: Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up. (Bardock charges up an energy blast)

BARDOCK: GO TO HELL! (throws  the energy blast at Freeza)

FREEZA: See, that was my first guess. (fires the Supernova, which absorbs Bardock's blast)

BARDOCK: (thinking as multiple soldiers scream in terror) Ah, crapbaskets. (gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova)

NARRATOR: And so, with a macabre flash of blinding light, the howling laughter of a blood-parched tyrant echoing through his mind, so ends the tragic fate of Bardock. (Freeza's Supernova collides with Planet Vegeta, causing it to explode into nothingness) ...Or so you'd think, if you didn't know a thing about merchandising! Hit it!

"Wait, what!?" everyone questions in confusion.

"But he's dead, there's no way anyone can survive something like that." Ren stated.

("DragonBall Z Abridged: Episode of Bardock" logo appears on the screen as "Time Warp (Rocky Horror Picture Show)" by Richard O'Brien plays in the background)

BARDOCK: Uah! (wakes up and finds himself on a bed) (thinking) Am I in a bed? Does hell have beds? You'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders. Or spiky spiders. ...Spikers. "That's not a creepy thought at all." Nora chuckled, (gets up and looks outside a window) Wait, this looks like Planet Vegeta. Only...even shittier. Which is and isn't weird, considering the last time I saw it, it was blowing up.

DR. DRAY: Hi-ho!

BARDOCK: (turns his head around) Uggh!

DR. DRAY: We found you unconscious and near-death in a valley not too far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.U.G..

BARDOCK: Ugh!

"The Grimm did... it, just say?" JNPR's leader asked as a rain-check of what he heard.

DR. DRAY: Super Polymorphic Unleashing Gel. "Ooh, it's an acronym." Weiss said, We brought you to our town on our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray. And this is my child Twopock. Say hi-ho, Twopock.

TWOPOCK: Hi-ho!

BARDOCK: Ugh!

TWOPOCK: Where are you from?

BARDOCK: There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.

"Holy Brothers! Shouldn't they be running away from him, I know I would." Ruby fearly stated.

DR. DRAY: You hear that, Twopock? You made a friend.

TWOPOCK: YAAAAAY!

"How does that work?" Blake asks confusingly.

(explosion)

DR. DRAY: That came from my village!

(cut to inside the village with two soldiers destroying the villager's homes)

TOOBI: Hello there, inhabitants of Planet Plant. We are here on a diplomatic mission on behalf of your new emperor, Lord Chilled. Pamphlets will be passed around to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his Almighty Horniness.

"Yang didn't joke about the last few words as she was still angry about events that transpirred earlier today.

BARDOCK: Really? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you kill anyone with those peashooters. Speaking of which, what models are those? They look ancient.

KAYABIRA: Hey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.

BARDOCK: Oh, kill one of the sick ones. What are you gonna do next? Waterboard the elderly?

KAYABIRA: Look, buddy. We didn't come here to be judged by you. (fires a blast at Bardock, who evades it and punches him hard in the stomach)

TOOBI:: Holy-- (Bardock kicks him in the face, sending him to flying into a wall)

BARDOCK: Pfft. Amateurs.

"Comparing to someone like yourself, yeah, amateurs." the cat Faunus agreed.

VILLAGER: Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent savior!

(the villagers come out of hiding and start approaching Bardock)

VILLAGERS: (singing "Welcome Christmas" from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas") Bahoo dores bahoo dores...

BARDOCK: (extends his hand to stop the villagers' singing) NO! None of that! Shame on you! (flies away and lands near a cave) Who needs villagers, with their soft beds and S.P.U.G.? Rocks are soft enough to sleep on, right? (sits on a rocks) "And..." Jaune waited, ...I've made a terrible mistake.

"Their it is." Weiss, Blake, and Pyrrha were confused on what the blonde knight was going on about but then it hit them. Jaune knew that Bardock would make the mistake of sleeping in a cave due to his stubing pride, both Weiss and Jaune knew this themselves.

(cut to a spaceship in outer space)

SOLDIER: Lord Chilled! The vital sensors in the blasters of the two scouts you just sent--

CHILLED: Shshshshshshsh... (pause) Continue.

SOLDIER: Have ceased transmission. We believe they're dead!

CHILLED: *gasp* Outraaageous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forevermore be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Bring us to Planet Plant!

"Seriously, that's how the Frieza Forces' personnel names originate from." Nora gasped in disappointment.

SOLDIER: ...So am I Pineapple?

CHILLED: YES!

(Chilled's spaceship is seen flying into Planet Plant. Cut to Bardock inside the cave)

BARDOCK: (thinking) All right, I think I might have figured this out. This looks like a younger Planet Vegeta. Those two guys were using older models. Maybe... This is the--

TWOPOCK: Hi-ho!

BARDOCK: Aaand I lost my train of thought.

"HOW!?" the heiress shouts out.

TWOPOCK: Hello, violent savior. I have brought you bread and fruit.

BARDOCK: I don't want your bread, or your fruit. But leave the basket.

TWOPOCK: But violent savior--

BARDOCK: LEAVE THE BASKET! (Twopock leaves the basket on the floor and runs off crying) (thinking) I swear to God I'm gonna eat his entire race. "How can ever consider cannibalism?" Ruby asks, (cut him doing one-armed pushups inside the cave on a rainy day as Twopock places another basket of food on the ground and runs off with the empty basket) Dammit, I filled up on bread!

(cut to Twopock bringing another basket of food to Bardock)

TWOPOCK: Here you are, violent savior. I have brought you more food that you detest.

BARDOCK: (takes a bread from the basket) Seriously, kid. If you don't start bringing me meat, I am literally gonna shit bricks. (Twopock grunts and drops something else near the basket) That is a rock!

(cut to Dr. Dray healing a villager (Rizza) in another busy day at the village)

RIZZA: Thank you, Dr. Dray. Your S.P.U.G. has cured my syphilis.

"Say wah now?" Jaune confusingly asks.

DR. DRAY: You are welcome, Rizza.

RIZZA: Well, back to what I was doing before.

DR. DRAY: Oh, you are just incorrigible.

(cut to a bunch of cloaked figures approaching the village)

PAPAYA: Hello. We are the Space Police.

AICE CUBE: (off-screen) Man, f**k the police!

DR. DRAY: Not now, Aice Cube!

The hunters-in-training laughed at someone being 'Ice Cube', who's a famous rapper and actor along with fellow actor Spruce Willis.

PAPAYA: We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er-do-wells.

DR. DRAY: I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.

"Was that a indirect reference to something or someone?" Nora asks, not understanding if it is a reference or not.

CHILLED: We are looking for the man who assassinated two emissaries from the Frost Planet.

DR. DRAY: You mean the violent savior?

VILLAGER: All hail the violent savior!

VILLAGERS: (once again singing "Welcome Christmas" from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas") Bahoo dores...

CHILLED: NO! None of that! Shame on you! "Wow, this guy and Bardock are complete ass'." Jaune commented, I wish to meet this man so that I may reward him!

DR. DRAY: I thought you said you wanted to arrest him.

CHILLED: I CHANGE MY MIND A LOT! (pause) Execute them.

(shows Twopock's horrified expression as Chilled's soldiers attack the villagers off-screen. Cut to Bardock outside the cave)

BARDOCK: Sweet. Back to a hundred percent. I'd go out and eat that whole village right now if I hadn't already filled up on rocks.

TWOPOCK: (runs up to Bardock) Violent savior! My village needs you!

BARDOCK: Ah, Space Christ, what now?

"Can there even be a 'Space Christ'?" Yang asked aggressively.

TWOPOCK: Our people are under assault by villains from another planet.

BARDOCK: Why is this place so popular?

TWOPOCK: You don't understand. This could be the extinction of the entire Saiyan race!

"Wait wha?" 

BARDOCK: (pauses and looks at Twopock) What?

TWOPOCK: My people, the Saiyans!

"Then how does those... people evolve into their human-like personas with monkey tails like Bardock?" the crimsonette asks, since she never paided attention in science back in Signal Academy.

"Evolvution is still a mystery to everyone." Blake answers.

BARDOCK: Oh, no... But if you're Saiyans. And those old-ass lookin' blasters. And this looks like Planet Vege-- (explosion) Dammit! There it goes again! (kicks Twopock) Hell with this. (takes his headband and flies off)

TWOPOCK: I am now bearing your child. YAAAAAAAYY--

"WHAT! WHAT THE FUC-!?" Weiss almost cursed out but was stopped by Yang, who was covering her mouth to protect Ruby's innocence. Even when frustrated about something, the blonde brawler always protects her baby sister.

(cut to Chilled and his soldiers destroying the village)

CHILLED: That's right! Continue to blow up the houses! We will avenge my men and take control of this planet! Also we want your healing medicine.

DR. DRAY: (backs up and hides his S.P.U.G.) How did you hear about our S.P.U.G.?

CHILLED: Because of Raisins! ...Raisin is my intel guy.

PAPAYA: Now give us your S.P.U.G. or we'll beat it out of ya.

CHILLED: (holds up a video camera) And I'll record the whole thing!

"where did he get that?" Nora questions.

(Dr. Dray closes his eyes in fear when Bardock arrives and kicks one soldier in the face and grabs the other one's neck and snaps it off-screen)

BARDOCK: (drops the soldier on the ground) I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.

CHILLED: So you must be the one who killed my men. (removes his hood and reveals his face)

BARDOCK: (thinking) Freeza?! (sees the resemblance) Freeza! (out loud) FREEEEZAAAA!

"Yeah, I can see the comparison between Frieza and this 'Chilled' guy." Ren admits.

(Bardock charges at Chilled and punches him, knocking his cloak away. Chilled growls and retaliates by kicking Bardock, knocking him face-down to the ground)

CHILLED: (as Bardock struggles to get up) You wish to wrestle with the great Lord Chilled? Yet you have not brought your own leotard?! (plants Bardock's face on the ground with his foot) Worthless whelp! You make a mockery of Wrestle Wednesdays! You see, they both start with "W"s! It's alliteration.

"Oh Oum, he's making us learn English." RWBY's leader groaned.

BARDOCK: (muffled) Freeza! Freeza! *muffled growling noises*

CHILLED: I don't know who this "Freeza" is, but he sounds like a classy lady!

"Did he seriously call Frieza a 'he' but then said 'lady', am I hearing him correctly or am I still on a sugar rush?" the hammer-wielding ginger questions her partner.

DR. DRAY: (runs up to help Bardock) Release our violent sav-- (Chilled bitch-slaps him with his tail) Oh, God!

CHILLED: These people seem to have a sincere affection for you. What is your secret?

BARDOCK: (muffled) Maybe because I don't look like a giant purple and orange tampon.

CHILLED: (quickly) I have lost interest! The hunter-trainees laughed at Bardock's and Chilled's banter, (kicks Bardock away) And now...YOUUUU DIIIIIIIE! (starts charging up an energy blast)

TWOPOCK: (tearfully running up to Bardock) I must protect the father of my unborn child!

CHILLED: Congratulations... It's a corpse! (fires a shockwave that knocks Twopock away)

TWOPOCK: (collides with a wall and starts falling down) Ow ow. Ow. Ow. (hits the ground) Owww.

DR. DRAY: No, Twopock! Damn you...big...small guy!

CHILLED: And now, to finish off the Saiyan race!

BARDOCK: (thinking) Wait, hold on... Now I remember what I was thinking about. They call themselves Saiyans... And the freakin' blasters... And Planet Vegeta... And his name is Chilled... And... And... (out loud to Chilled) Hey! You! What year is it?

CHILLED: 2222.

BARDOCK: B.C. or A.D.?

CHILLED: The hell are those?

BARDOCK: (deepan) I'm in the f***ing past. "And it taking him this long to realise that." Yang complained, Of all the STUPID! (slams his head on the ground, causing lightning to erupt) ASININE! (punches the ground, once again erupting lightning) SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT! (slams his head on the ground again and screams as he undergoes a shocking transformation)

CHILLED: What the?!

(Bardock finishes screaming and is now seen as a Super Saiyan)

CHILLED: Oh, I'm sorry. I only fight natural blondes.

"Oh, well then, I'll give him a good few rounds of pain." Yang grinned with wanting to burn off her anger and aggression.

"I think Bardock beat you to that, Yang." the Mistral champion corrects.

"Shut up and let me have my moments!" She snaps, red eyes and flaming hair.

BARDOCK: I...am the legendary Super Saiyan.

VILLAGER: Yay, we're all Super Saiyans!

BARDOCK: I will eat you!

(Chilled fires multiple blasts at Bardock, leaving the area in smoke)

CHILLED: And that, ladies, gentlemen, and those of unspecified gender, is how you split a bananaWAAA?

("Ninth Symphony" by Beethoven starts playing as Bardock walks out of the smoke with parts of his clothes and armor destroyed, but is far from being defeated. Chilled attempts to punch Bardock, but the Super Saiyan catches both his fists.)

CHILLED: Please don't break my butt.

BARDOCK: Okay.

CHILLED: Truly?

BARDOCK: No.

(Bardock starts pummeling Chilled, which ends with him kicking Chilled high into the air)

"Now that, is pure artistry right there." Yang commented, "and not bad for the chose of music too." That urned Weiss a smile to her blonde teammates' admitment.

CHILLED: You petulant, impudent, contemptuous whoooooore!

BARDOCK: (starts charging up an energy blast) You mad, bro?

CHILLED: A little, thank you for asking! (fires a Death Ball at Bardock)

BARDOCK: Then maybe you should CHILL! (fires his energy blast)

CHILLED: I'm always chilled! ...Ooohhh, I get it (gets hit by the blast and is shot into outer space)NOOOOooooooo...

"Bye~" Ruby said.

(cut to inside Chilled's spaceship with Chilled in a medical bed and on life support surrounded by a few of his soldiers)

CHILLED: Before I die, I have one...one more decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance...choreography. (takes off breathing mask) Got to style...all over...our opponents'...forrrce... (dies with the electrocardiogram showing a horizontal line)

"Really, that's why the Ginyu Force always performed a dance pose during combat." Pyrrha sighed.

PINEAPPLE: Well, call it, Blueberry.

BLUEBERRY: Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?

RAISIN: Well I'm gonna keep calling you Blueberry.

BLUEBERRY: Shut up, Raisin!

The hunters giggled at the soldiers banter of being named after fruit.

(cut to Twopock looking on as Bardock walks off in the sunset)

NARRATOR: And so, with the evil Chilled put to rest, the unlikely hero made his way. And that is the story of how...

(cut to Goku inside his house)

GOKU: ...how your grandpa Bardock became the legendary Super Saiyan.

"Wait wait wait, this was all a story to begin with," Yang wonders, "was any of it true?"

"Well we know about the whole 'Super Saiyan' thing being true, Goku used it to end Frieza." Blake mentions, remembering how Episode 30 went.

GOHAN: Okay, a couple questions.

GOKU: Sure.

GOHAN: Why did Freeza's Death Ball send him back in time?

GOKU: I dunno.

GOHAN: And what happened to his psychic powers?

GOKU: I dunno.

GOHAN: And why did all the little Saiyans sound the same?

GOKU: I couldn't remember which was which, honestly, so I just went with it.

GOHAN: Well I'm sorry, it's just...none of this makes any sense.

GOKU: Of course it doesn't. None of this is actually happening.

"said what now?" everyone questions in unison.

GOHAN: ...Huh?

GOKU: None of this is real.

GOHAN: What are you talking ab-- (suddenly wakes up) Huh? (sees Piccolo staring at him from outside the window)

"Soooo, it was all a dream than?" Nora wonders, "That's neat. Also, hi Piccolo!" she waves.

PICCOLO: Go back to sleep, Gohan.

("Back in Time" by Huey Lewis and the News starts playing as the credits roll)

BARDOCK: Seriously, you wanna learn how to traumatize a village? Okay. See that kid over there? (fires a blast at the kid)

VILLAGER: (off-screen) Odieby! Noooo! (starts bawling)

"Is he seriously teaching people to be better murderers?" Weiss asks, "What a waste of talent."

BARDOCK: Hear that mother? That is distraught.

KAYABIRA: You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!

BARDOCK: Well, I am working on this fake moon thing.

"'Fake moon thing', okay, clearly he's the one that created the artifial moons to transform into that giant monkey form." Ren mentions, everyone nodded at the statement. They were going to continue watching until a knock on the door interrupted them. Ruby turned off the holo-screen and her Scroll while Blake answered the door. On the other side was General James Ironwood himself and two Atlesian Knights with him.

"Good evening Teams RWBY, JNPR." he said, "may I please speak to Yang Xioa Long for a few minutes?" they agreed to let him in as the members of JNPR left the room, feeling that they don't want to bother the general's interrogation, but Team RWBY stayed in their dorm to support Yang if she needs it.

Chapter Text

Almost a year has past since the Fall of Beacon and the destruction of the Vale Kingdom with several hunter teams such as CVFY and sSSN were sent to the Kingdom of Vacuo, while others such as Teams RWBY and JNpR dispanned. All seven Hunter trainees suffered in their own ways. Jaune couping over the death of Pyrrha Nikos; Yang lossing her right arm; Weiss being stripped of her title as 'heiress'; and Blake running away from her demons once more.

However, where there is darkness there can be light, as each of them overcame their struggles and reunited with one another.

The Battle of Haven was difficult for the hunter trainees as Weiss almost died by the hands of Cinder Fall, which led to Jaune unlocking his Semblance of "Aura Amp"; Blake overcame her fears of her ex-boyfriend and ex-partner Adam Taurus by driving him away from the battle; Yang confronted her mother, Raven Branwen, and claimed the "Relic of Knowledge" from Haven's Vault.

With Team RWBY now reunited and the villains at a loss, the Hunter trainees all play catch-up with one another. "I can't we survived that battle after... you now." Ruby reminded everyone of the Fall of Beacon.

"It's a shame that I didn't end Cinder's life." Jaune angerily complained, "And I was so close to avenging Pyrrha." he continues until a voice came from behind him that ran a chill down his spine.

"You don't have to avenge me, Jaune." he, as well as the others look towards where the voice came from and they witness sometime impossible, "Hello again!" Pyrrha Nikos back from the dead.

Almost everyone broke down in tears as to seeing Pyrrha standing infront of them. Jaune slowing walked towards her to make sure that what he was seeing is real. "Pyrrha..." the blond knight whimpered, "Is that really you?" he questions while the redhead nodded with innocent smile on her face.

"Of course I am, Jaune." she said as she reached out with her arms to rap them around Jaune and kissed him deeply. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before they brake apart to catch their breathes.

As they were having their moment, Ren was holding back Nora while Yang and Blake were doing the same to Ruby and Weiss.

"H-how? How are you...?" Jaune staggered while still processing what happened seconds ago.

"Alive? Well, I'm not." Pyrrha points towards the top of her head to reveal a golden halo floating above. "I'm only here for twenty-four hours to see the people I care about, and to catch up with our comedy-action series." she mentions. Everyone was confused until...

"I think she means the abridged series." Ren answers with the others acknowlegding that they kinda forgot about it.

"So, shall we?" asked Nora with cheeky grin on her face. Everyone gavered around the holo-t.v. with Ruby preparing the third season of the TeamFourStar's 'Dragon Ball Z Abridged' series.

Everyone either sat on the couch or on the floor, with Ren and Nora sitting nexted to each other on the couch along with Blake and Yang, while Jaune and Pyrrha sat opponent to one another on the floor with Weiss and Ruby.

Ruby was holding onto the remote control, ready to play the fan-dubbed anime series, "Alright, lets get started."

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

FREEZA: This is a parody--BUY THE F**KING SHOW!

"Great way to start an recap episode." Blake sarcastically states.

(cut to Goku in Wukong Hospital staring at the people staring at him)

P.A.: (faintly) Paging Dr. Bender...  Dr. Bender...

KRILLIN: Let's go to space!

"Wait a sec, why did they have to space again?" Nora asked, forgeting what the previous seasons plot.

"Their worlds Dragon Balls don't work anymore so they have to use another planets variant to revive they friends." Ren recalled.

"Oh... Neat!" the ginger-hair girl acknowledges.

(Kami's ship is seen flying off into space)

[KAI OPENING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to Krillin, Gohan, and Bulma flying through space)

KRILLIN: Going to Namek!

(shift to the spaceship floating in front of Fake Namek)

GOHAN: Is that Namek?

"Never trust signs." Ruby adviced.

KRILLIN: No.

(shift to the spaceship floating in front of a mystery ship)

GOHAN: Is that Namek?

"Wasn't this filler or something?" Jaune wonders.

"I think so." Pyrrha answers.

KRILLIN: No.

(shift to the spaceship floating in front of Namek)

GOHAN: Is that Namek?

KRILLIN: Boo-yah! (the trio land on Namek) This place is boring!

"Not for long." Yang warned.

GOHAN: (notices a space pod) Is that a Saiyan pod?

"No grimm, Shamrock." Nora sassed.

KRILLIN: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...!

"Nah, just you... I think." the blonde brawler slightly remembers.

(cut to Vegeta arriving on Namek. Krillin's screaming can be heard faintly in the background.)

VEGETA: I'm on Namek now!

CUI: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Hi, Cui. (blows up Cui) Bye, Cui.

"Cui gets Yamcha'd" Nora giggles.

(cut to Freeza)

FREEZA: Hello. I'm Space Napole-Hitler. Give me the thing.

MOURI: No!

FREEZA: Give me the thing.

MOURI: No!

FREEZA: Kill his kid. (Dodoria fires a mouth blast at Cargo, who dies and gives off a Wilhelm scream) Give me the thing.

MOURI: Here. (hands Freeza a Dragon Ball)

FREEZA: Good. Kill him.

MOURI: But the thing! (Dodoria snaps Mouri's neck, killing him)

FREEZA: Other kid.

GOHAN: NO! (kicks Dodoria in the face while Krillin grabs Dende)

KRILLIN: Quack! (they both fly off)

"Ah, the return of the 'majestic Space Duck'." Weiss quoted.

FREEZA: What the space fu--

(cut to Krillin and Gohan fleeing)

KRILLIN: Think we're in the clear! (Dodoria appears behind them) We're all gonna die!

GOHAN: Use your Solar Flare!

"Why he doesn't use that more often is a mystery." baffules Blake.

"No, he's just stupid." Ren reassures.

KRILLIN: Oh, I do know that.. SOLFLAH! (blinds Dodoria with an image of Lanipator dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter being briefly seen)

DODORIA: UGH! BITCH!!! (gets knocked to the water) UGH!!! DOUBLE BITCH!

VEGETA: 'Sup, Chubbs McKenzie? Any last words before I kill you?

DODORIA: I have a thick... meaty... "Weiss...!" Yang threatened the ex-heiress as she covers Ruby's ears. vagina...

The huntrers, minus Ruby, either tried to gag themselves to vomit or showed a face of disgust.

(Vegeta is shown with darkened eyes, deeply disturbed by this revelation, and kills Dodoria. Vegeta then closes his eyes and begins to heave.)

"If Vegeta was a real person, I would thank him for killing such a disgusting character." Weiss proposes.

"I think Vegeta's scarred for eternity to even care about being thanked." the cat Faunus states.

(cut to Gohan and Krillin)

GOHAN: We're alive!

KRILLIN: But they have the thing!

GOHAN: We have a thing.

DENDE: My name is--

KRILLIN: Little Green!

"No, he's the white ma- Oh my Oum." Jaune realised.

"What? What is it?" the red-haired champion confusingly asks.

"I'm now the white mage of the group." JNPR's leader understands, since he unlocked his Semblance during the Battle of Haven to save Weiss from death.

(shows Dende with a Borderlands-style intro screen, showing the text "White Mage" and "Little Green")

DENDE: MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!

"But only one ever existed." Ruby pointed out.

(cut to Freeza)

FREEZA: Dodoria's dead?!

ZARBON: Mmm.

FREEZA: Vegeta! Get him!

ZARBON: Mmm!

"I kinda forgot how weird Frieza is." Nora mentions.

"Your not the only one." Blake agrees.

(cut back to Krillin, Gohan, and Dende)

KRILLIN: We're stayin' here! Gohan, look after Little Green!

DENDE: Hey.

KRILLIN: Bulma...! Do not do anything for this entire trip! (Bulma nods) Good!

(cut to Vegeta holding a Dragon Ball)

VEGETA: Found me a thing! (throws Dragon Ball into a lake) Time to get more things!

(Vegeta flies off only to get cut off by Zarbon)

VEGETA: Hey, it's the gay one.

ZARBON: Maybe I'm gay, or maybe stereotypes are bullshit. Mmm! (transforms into his monster form) PUSSY!

"What?" everyone responded in shock.

VEGETA: Oh, no! (gets attacked by Zarbon and the scene cuts to him inside a healing tank)

"Wonder what Zarbon did to Vegeta." Ruby said with curosity.

"Dicked him over." Nora chuckled.

"That pun was very much intended." Yang agreed with Nora's joke.

(cut to inside Guru's house)

KRILLIN: So who are you?

GURU: I am Guru.

KRILLIN: Oh, okay, well--

GURU: But you can call me Super Mega Ultra Alpha Omega Hyper Turbo...

NAIL: (gives Krillin a Dragon Ball) Just take the thing. He'll be at this for a while.

KRILLIN: Woohoo!

(cut back at Freeza's ship where Zarbon and Appule watch Vegeta, who's still recovering from inside a healing tank)

ZARBON: Mmm. (Leaves the room, being promptly followed up by an explosion) Mmm!

VEGETA: (tosses all of Freeza's previously-acquired DragonBalls out the ship) GRAB ALL THE THINGS! (laughs maniacally and leaps out the window)

(cut to Krillin and Bulma)

KRILLIN: I got a thing! Where's Gohan?

(Vegeta appears, still laughing maniacally, and Krillin screams. Zarbon appears.)

The world-saving teen hunters chuckled and laughted at Krillins reaction to Vegeta's arrival.

ZARBON: Mmm. (transforms into his monster form) Mmm! (Vegeta puts his fist in Zarbon's stomach) MMM!

(Vegeta blast a hole through Zarbon's stomach--still laughing maniacally--and takes off with Krillin's Dragon Ball, still laughing)

"Good lord Oum, the lungs on Krillin!" Ren mentions.

KRILLIN: (stops screaming) No, seriously, where's Gohan?

(cut to Gohan, who has had the misfortune to encounter Vegeta)

GOHAN: Oh, hi, Vegeta-- (Vegeta knees him in the stomach and begins laughing again as he takes off) "That was unnecessary." Ruby whinced, Still got his thing.

(Cut to Vegeta--still laughing mad--jumping into the water where he hid a Dragon Ball Gohan had just taken.  Vegeta then bursts out of the water, screaming his lungs out. His scream is so strong that it crashes the Adobe Flash plugin, which he then smashes through and flies off)

"HOLY GRIMM!!!" the teenagers reacted as Vegeta, somehow, brakes throw a computer screen.

(cut to Freeza)

FREEZA: Zarbon's dead!

MINION: Zarbon's dead.

FREEZA: F**k! Call the Ginyus.

MINION: 'Kay. (heard leaving the room)

FREEZA: Seriously, though, what is today?

"Possibly Christmas." Ruby answers.

"Nah, that's until a months time." Nora corrects.

(cut to Guru's house)

GURU: ...Bigger, Longer, and Uncut Guru. "How long has he been going?" Blake wonders, (sees Gohan) Oh, hello.

GOHAN: Why am I here?

DENDE: Why am I here?

GURU: Power up! (unlocks Gohan's hidden potential)

GOHAN: Will this actually matter?

GURU: Pro'ly not.

"So that happened for nothing?" Yang asks, "That's disappointing."

(Vegeta shows up and grabs Gohan by the scarf)

VEGETA: Hey, guys! You remind me of some assholes I'm gonna kill! "Who though?" Weiss wonders, (Krillin freaks and Vegeta drops Gohan) There's no time for that, because the Ginyus are coming! (grabs Krillin)

KRILLIN: Okay, what?

(the Ginyu Force appear)

VEGETA: Right now!

(the Ginyu Force do their battle poses with "SANJOU!! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!!" playing faintly in the background)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Ginyu!

JEICE: Jeice!

BURTER: Burter!

GULDO: Guldo!

RECOOME: Recoome!

CAPTAIN GINYU: And together we are....

GINYU FORCE: THE GINYU F-- (they are crushed beneath a spaceship)

"Oh thank Oum, they were bad enough the last time I checked in the actual series." the white-haired girl stated while holding her head like she has a migraine.

GOKU: (weakly) Hey guys, I made it!

"But how though?" Ruby confusingly asks.

(shows the wreckage of Goku's spaceship)

KRILLIN: Goku's ship killed the Ginyus! And he's out of commission. What are the odds?

"About 3,720 to 1." the ex-heiress answers.

"How did you do the maths though? Pyrrha wonders.

"Simple probability solving." Weiss responds.

VEGETA: Put him in... the pod!

(dramatic music starts plays while the camera zooms on Vegeta face before cutting to Goku inside a healing tank)

GOKU: (thinking) I wonder if this will become a trend?

"I hope it won't." Jaune groans with the others agreeing with him.

KRILLIN: Where's Freeza?

(cut to Freeza ripping off Nail's arm)

NAIL: AUUUUUGH!

"BY THE BROTHERS, WHY SHOW US THAT!!!" Blake shouted in shock.

(cut back to Krillin)

KRILLIN: Team Three Star!

VEGETA: That's not funny. "True." Yang responds, It's never been funny! "Truer." IT'S NEVER GONNA BE FUNNY! "Truest."(gives armor to Gohan and Krillin) Put on these clothes. Imma nap. "Good job." the blonde brawler finishes.

(cut to outside Freeza's ship where Krillin and Deande are right next to all seven DragonBalls and Gohan is on Freeza's ship)

KRILLIN: Hey, Gohan, I found the things! Wanna do the thing?

GOHAN: Sure, but when did Dende get here?

"Yeah, wasn't he at Guru's place?" the crimsonette said, trying to keep up with everything.

DENDE: Hey.

(they summon Porunga)

GOHAN: So, what are we--

KRILLIN: Bring Piccolo back!

PICCOLO: (on King Kai's planet) YEAH!

KRILLIN: And bring him to Namek!

"Okay, but why though?" Nora asks.

PICCOLO: NOOO-- (gets transported to Namek) --OOOO!

(cut to Piccolo finding Nail on the ground)

NAIL: Oh, hi!

PICCOLO: 'Sup?

NAIL: Wanna see something cool?

PICCOLO: Eh, why not?

(Piccolo fuses with Nail)

PICCOLO: BWAHHHH!

"That's quite the LSD trip." the ginger girl comments.

(cut back to Krillin and Gohan)

KRILLIN: And for our last wish...

VEGETA: (appears and grabs Dende by the scarf) You'll give me immortality, or I'll murder his parents!

DENDE: Joke's on you.

(Porunga's eyes go black and suddenly vanishes with all the Dragon Balls turning to stone)

VEGETA: Wait, am I immortal?

"Nope!" the hunters responded.

FREEZA: I don't know. Let's see...

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Hoo-hoo-hoo, he's pissed!

"Extremely so." Ren states.

VEGETA: Ha! I'm not afraid of you!

(Freeza transforms into his second form, making a power-up sound effect from Super Mario Bros.)

FREEZA: How about now?

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Ha! Horny!

Yang bursted out laughing at Krillin's note worthy pun.

(Freeza spears Krillin with one of his horns and proceeds to torture him, using Super Star theme from Super Mario Bros., before throwing him towards the lake)

FREEZA: (flipping the bird) All right, who's ne-- (Piccolo sends him flying with a punch)

PICCOLO: I'm two guys now!

NAIL: ('Sup?)

"Then wouldn't he be called 'Nailcolo'?" Jaune and Ruby ask in unison.

GOHAN: Krillin, no!

KRILLIN: I'm okay!

GOHAN: What? How?

DENDE: (appears next to Gohan) Hey.

(Freeza, now in his final from, fires a blast and kills Dende)

"LITTLE GREEN, NO!" Nora cried out.

FREEZA: And this is my fourth and final form.

KRILLIN: What happened to the third form?

VEGETA: I don't care what happened, because I'm a Super Saiy--

(Freeza takes Vegeta out in two blows and knocks him into the ground)

VEGETA: (starts getting choked by Freeza's tail) No, Freeza-dono, yamete!

FREEZA: I'm sorry, what were you on about before?

VEGETA: (in pain) I'm a Super Saiy-- (Freeza punches him twice in the face)

FREEZA: Apologies, still can't make it out.

VEGETA: (hoarsely) I'm a Super Saiya-- (Freeza throws him against a cliff and grabs him by the armor)

FREEZA: And now to finish the--

GOKU: Hey, let that Vegeta alone!

FREEZA: And what the hell is he?

VEGETA: (weakly) He's a Super Saiyan-- (Freeza blasts him through the chest)

"He's dead isn't he?" Pyrrha questions

GOKU: Oh, no! You... (Vegeta coughs up blood) "Oh so now he's dead." the Mistral champion notices, ...You killed Vegeta! You are so decked! (Goku charges at Freeza)

(cut to King Kai's planet)

YAMCHA: Hey, King Kai, can you teach us the--

KING KAI: NO!

(cut back to Namek with Freeza knocking Goku to the ground)

GOKU: (thinking) Dang it, nothing's worked. Better use that thing that always works! (raises both hands in the sky)

"Wait, what is he doing?" Ruby asks.

"Well, this is Goku so he's either saving or dooming everyone." Weiss mentions.

FREEZA: Stop it.

GOKU: No.

FREEZA: Stop it.

GOKU: No!

FREEZA: STOP. IT.

(Goku blows a raspberry)

FREEZA: That's it, stopping it myself! (Begins charging up a Death Ball, with Piccolo's head popping up. Goku launches the Spirit Bomb at Freeza) What the--?

UNREAL TOURNAMENT ANNOUNCER: DOMINATING!!!

FREEZA: (extends both arms out) Eep.

(Shows an outside shot of Namek, with a white flash appearing on the planet. Cut to Goku, Gohan, Krillin, and Piccolo in Namek on an island)

GOHAN: You won, Dad!

GOKU: And we didn't even lose Krill-- (Krillin screams and gets blown up) Aw, swizzlesticks.

"You just had to say it, didn't you?" Nora complained.

FREEZA: JK, not dead. LOL. (blasts Piccolo in the chest)

PICCOLO: Augh! Right in the tit! (collapses)

"D-do Namekian's even have ti-" Ruby was about to ask but her month was covered by Weiss' hand.

GOHAN: P-Piccolo... (drops to his knees) Why... didn't... you... DOOOOOOOODGE!

"Yeah, why didn't he dodge, Ren, answer me?!" Nora cried out as Ren just shruged his shoulders.

GOKU: This ruffles my jammies...! (transforming into Super Saiyan) HRRRRAU--! (squeaks, leaving GOHAN in shocked silence) "So his ribs crushed his lungs?" Pyrrha asks in confusion, Take Piccolo and leave.

GOHAN: 'Kay.

FREEZA: Okay, so what's going on here?

GOKU: (powers up) I AM A SUPER SANDWICH! (socks Freeza in the face)

FREEZA: Ahh! Prick! (fires a huge blast into Namek's core)

GOKU: Uh-oh, spaghetti-- (explosion)

The hunters giggled at Goku's responce as Frieza blows up Namek.

(cut to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Well, Goku's dead.

TIEN: Really?

"No." Yang mentions.

KING KAI: Probably not.

KAMI: (telepathically) King Kai, we have the things.

KING KAI: DO THE THING!

(cut to Goku and Freeza on Namek, which is detonating around them)

FREEZA: Well, that didn't quite work like I-- (notices Porunga) Wait, is that a dragon?

GOKU: Yeah.

FREEZA: Bye! (speeds off towards the dragon)

GOKU: Wait!

FREEZA: Make me immortal!

PORUNGA: !nogard a m'I !uoy kcuF

(everyone starts disappearing)

VEGETA: And I'm here, too-- (disappears)

"Aaaaand your gone." Nora and Yang slightly sang.

FREEZA: What the goddamn shit just happened?

DENDE: Hey. (disappears as Freeza tries to kill him again)

FREEZA: You f--(dog bark)--ked me! You f--(chicken sound)--ked me, you monkey f--(monkey screech)--k!

"Woah, language!" Ruby cursed out.

GOKU: Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. (Freeza bear-hugs him from behind) No, Freezer-dono, yamete!

(cut to everyone else on Earth)

PICCOLO: Well, I'm confused.

GOHAN: It looks like the dragon brought every person on Namek to Earth!

PICCOLO: All of them?

GURU: Hey, guys. Dying.

NAMEKIAN: Do you have any last words, sir?

GURU: I am hilarious.. and you will quote... everything... (starts vanishing) I... say... (completely vanishes)

"Yeah, we will." Yang sadly accepts.

"The guy stole Nappa's line!" the hammer-wielder accused.

NAMEKIAN: Ha. He'll be missed.

"I doubt he will be remembered." Ren assures.

(back on Namek with Freeza being seen getting knocked away)

GOKU: And bored. See ya! (flies off)

FREEZA: What?! Get back here! Kien-structo Disc! "I wonder if Krillin is cursing out at him?" Ruby wonders,(throws Destructo Disk and immediately gets split in half) How...? (his dismembered body lands on the ground)

"Well, this is the first time it did anything." Pyrrha states.

GOKU: So... which way's your ship?

(Freeza's severed hand lands next to him and points)

FREEZA: (weakly) That way...

(cut to Goku on Freeza's ship, repeatedly pushing the muffin button and laughing until Namek turns into a giant muffin)

Everyone felt fear run down their spines as Goku laughs like a madman, while Ruby's eyes widen and a huge grin on her face as Planet Namek transforms into a giant muffin.

"I. Want. It. Now!" the scythe-wielder drooled.

GOKU: (giggles) Yay!

(giant muffin explodes into millions of muffins)

[KAI ENDING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to a silhouetted figure in front of a computer with the DragonBall Z Kai Abridged logo on the monitor)

NAPPA: Aaaand... (click) unsubscribed.

"No Nappa, why!?" cried Nora.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

TURTLE: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cuts to a rainy area where the Spice Boys are approaching a group of innocent people)

"This isn't creepy at all." Yang joked on.

OLD MAN: No! Please! Leave us alone! We were just renting this house! We never meant to--

(everyone get killed by the Spice Boys, who all bow down do Garlic Jr.)

"And dark too." Nora added.

GARLIC JR.:(thinking)Yes! Though this rain may wash these fools away, the blood that soon shall flow no storm shall meet the task! I will cover this world in a darkness so thick and chilly, the only rival shall be the hell in which I spent all those years. (shows a flashback of Garlic Jr. falling into the Dead Zone) Brace your bitter selves, you worms,"Yeah, is Gohan gonna get drunk again?" Jaune asks, for I, Garlic Jr., shall soon rule you all!!

"Wait, how did he escape the Dead Zone, and I thought that movies aren't connected to the series at all?" Ruby wonders with concern.

"I doubt that it really matters, Ruby," Ren stepped in, "it's possible that this episode will explain."

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(cut to underwater)

Blake's eyes widen with excitement as witness' tuna fish, even drooling over just how big the fish even are on the screen.

DOCUMENTARY NARRATOR:In the great lakes near Mount Paozu, there is a breed of Pauzu tuna clinging at life in its saltwater habitat. "What is this, a fishing documentary? I want to see action?" Nora cried out, Fished near to extinction by the inhabitants, they are slowly making headway back to a sustainable population. (shows Gohan swimming underwater and punching one fish out of the water, along with three more following suit) "Much better!" the hammer-wielder cheered, Oh, sweet salty Christ, no...

"Get rekt, bro." Yang giggled.

(Gohan emerges from the water)

KRILLIN: Hey, Gohan! Goin' fishing?

GOHAN: Yep! With Dad gone, I’m the breadwinner now! "But I see no ducks." Pyrrha mentions, What's with the weird clothes, Krillin? (shows Krillin wearing a fancy white suit)

KRILLIN: Ah-ah-ah! My name is no longer Krillin. "Let me guess, it's Meat Shield?" Weiss sassed, My new name is Juan Sanchez.

"Yeah, that's what I- wait, what?" the ex-heiress shockingly asked.

GOHAN: I'm compelled to ask why.

"Yes. Explain, now!" Weiss hissed.

KRILLIN: Well, before we left for Namek, I took out a huge life insurance policy on myself, and left it all to my twin brother.

GOHAN: But you don’t have a tw-- Wait, your last name's Sanchez?

KRILLIN: And it paid off in triple because I died off-planet! They said, "Don't worry, there's no way you're gonna die out in space!" Showed them!

The white-haired girl signed in frustration, but accepts Krillin's reasoning.

GOHAN: Well, I'm still gonna call you Krillin.

KRILLIN: So, what do you think of my new ride? (shows a red car on top of a hill)

GOHAN: Eh, it's a nice car, I guess?

KRILLIN: Not what I was referring to. (Maron is seen stepping out of the car)

MARON: Juan! I broke a nail. Can I have a thousand dollars?

"Is that how most women act when having a boyfriend?" the crimsonette asks her sister, who responds with a "Yep!"

KRILLIN: You can have two! Gohan, I am an excellent boyfriend.

GOHAN: Krillin, how did you meet this woman?

KRILLIN: We met at the bank. I was there picking up my life insurance money, and she was there depositing her money from her night job. I think she’s a waitress or something, because she was depositing a lot of fives and ones.

MARON: And me and my dear sweety little chestnut fell deeply, truly in love!

Ruby was on the verge of gagging herself to throw up on Maron's lovey-dovey talk.

KRILLIN: She says I have a very rich personality...

MARON: And a wealth of knowledge!

"Oh, I'm keeping those ones." the blode brawler grinned.

"Uh, save us from these puns." Blake groaned.

KRILLIN: And her boobs are as big as my head!

"Can Garlic Jr. kill you now?" Weiss demanded in annoyance.

GOHAN: I had made the comparison.

KRILLIN: So, you going to the party tonight?

GOHAN: I dunno. Mom wasn't a huge fan of that Walking Dead theme party.

WALKING ZED NARRATOR: Previously, on TFS' The Walking Zed...

(shows Yamcha biting Piccolo's neck, the latter screaming out in pain)

The hunters jumped back in shock as to what they are seeing.

(cut back to Gohan)

GOHAN: But I think I can make it.

KRILLIN: See you later, Gohan!

MARON: Goodbye, Gonad! See you at Master Hoashie's!

"Sweet Oum, that accent is going to kill me." the ex-heiress groaned.

(Krillin and Maron drive off, with "Gold Digger" by Kanye West playing from inside the car)

GOHAN: Eh, say what you want. They're a good couple.

"Nah, it's like Frieza and Bulma." Nora compaired.

"But it makes no sense." Ren realised.

"I know." the ginger-haired girl smiled to her partner.

(cut to Piccolo standing in the middle of a deserted wasteland)

NAIL: (You ever think about buying a house?)

"Oh yeah, we completely forgot about Nail!" Pyrrha admitted, as did everyone else. 

PICCOLO: (thinking) Oh yeah, let me get right on that with all that money I don’t have.

NAIL: (Well, you ever thought about getting a job?)

PICCOLO: (thinking) I'm a green slug man. No amount of affirmative action is going to get me a job.

NAIL: (If you say so. By the way, that old guy’s been standing there for like fifteen minutes; maybe you should say something.) (shows Kami standing behind Piccolo)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Ugh, fine. (out loud to Kami) What do you want, Kami?

KAMI: Mr. Popo's kicked me off the lookout for the night. Apparently he has a "booty call".

"Let those butts rain!" Yang and Nora sang.

(cut to Kami's Lookout at nighttime, with bed rocking sounds being heard inside)

Weiss looked at Yang and she sees her hair slowly catching fire. Knowing on what to do, Weiss covers Ruby's ears.

JYNX: Jynx! Jynx! Jynx!

MR. POPO: Shut up, bitch-- you love it.

(cut back to Piccolo and Kami)

Weiss then removes her hands from her leader's ears.

KAMI: Last time he did this I found five corpses. He laughed when I said "five".

That made everyone silent as to how many more 'corpses' Mr. Popo truly has.

PICCOLO: Well, what do you want from me?

KAMI: I was hoping I could stay at your house.

PICCOLO: I don't have a house!

NAIL: (See? What'd I tell you?)

PICCOLO: Shut up, Nail!

KAMI: Is someone in there?

NAIL: (Hello, Kami!)

PICCOLO: He can't hear you.

KAMI: Actually, I can. (telepathically to Nail) Hello, there. Who are you?

NAIL: (I'm Nail. I'm a Namekian Piccolo fused with on Namek.)

KAMI: You do know that technique is forbidden, Piccolo.

PICCOLO: Your FACE is forbidden!

"OUM CHRIST BRO!" the blonde brawler cheered.

NAIL: (Sadly, that was the best one up here.)

PICCOLO: SHUT IT, NAIL!

The hunters burst out laughing at Piccolo and Nail's bad joke interaction.

(cut to Kame House, with the radio playing "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz)

BULMA: So, nice of you to bring your new girlfriend here, "Juan".

YAMCHA: Yeah, not gonna lie, at first we kinda thought you brought home a hooker.

BULMA: Yamcha!

YAMCHA: Well, we did.

KRILLIN: I can assure you that my darling beautiful Maron is no hooker.

"I won't be surprised if she was." Weiss groaned.

MARON: Well, that depends. Sometimes I take extra cash in the back room, but those were always under the table, so I don't think they count.

YAMCHA: How much extra?

MARON: How much ya got?

YAMCHA: Well, I am a professional baseball pla-- (gets knocked aside by Bulma) Ahh!

BULMA: Okay, first off, no one screws Yamcha but life. "Yeah, and memory serves me correctly, the first season shows it completely." Ren recalled, Second of all, blue hair? Real original. Third, Juan, don't you have any other friends you can take Maron to meet?

KRILLIN: Well, we saw Gohan earlier, but he was busy pounding the tuna. "Oh my!" Yang quoted,(everyone minus Maron stare at Krillin) What? With Goku gone, Chi-Chi needs someone to do it. "That's even worse!" Weiss gagged,(Master Roshi starts chuckling off-screen) We also stopped by Korin and Yajirobe's, but...

(cut to Korin's Tower)

KRILLIN: This brunch is delicious, Yajirobe!

YAJIROBE: Thank you, I cooked everything myself.

MARON: So, if you two had babies, would they be little fat men or kitties?

"Actually... that's a good question." Blake mentions.

KRILLIN: And we are leaving!

KORIN: Probably fat kitties.

"At least it's a compromise." the scythe-wielder states.

(cut back to Kame House)

KRILLIN: I don't think I'll be taking her back there again.

"Probably for the best." Ren reassures.

(cut to later and the gang is celebrating while "Happy Birthday" by Weird Al Yankovic plays on the raidio)

EVERYONE: Happy birthday! (everyone clinks a drink in the air)

TURTLE: (tearfully) Thank you! Thank you all so much for remembering my one thousandth birthday! And for this marvelous cake! (shows a gigantic cake on the table ignited with at least one thousand candles at once)

"Holy Grim!" they all responded to the inferno that is a birthday cake.

MASTER ROSHI: Isn't that thing kind of a fire hazard?

"Yes! Yes it is!" said a scared Weiss.

GOHAN: Well, of course, Turtle. You're our very best friend!

OOLONG: My birthday was last week, and I didn't get a party...

YAMCHA: You've been there for us from the very beginning!

OOLONG: Anyone remember when I saved the world from Pilaf...?

"Saved the from- when did that happen?" Pyrrha confusingly asks.

"I don't know, and I don't think we skipped anything." Jaune mentions and reassures his dead girlfriend.

CHI-CHI: Like a member of the family, I say!

OOLONG: Seriously, I live upstairs...

MARON: Oh, my gosh, someone got whoever's birthday it is a turtle! Can I have a turtle?

KRILLIN: Sure!

MARON: (sees Turtle) Oh, can it be this turtle?

KRILLIN: Of course!

TURTLE: Wait, what?

KRILLIN: Turtle, be my wingman on this one. If I get some, I swear to God I will send you pictures.

TURTLE: Deal.

"Gross!" the female members gagged.

MASTER ROSHI: (still worrying about the burning cake) Seriously, maybe we wanna blow this out before something catches on-- (fire ignites his beard off-screen) Ahhh! My beard! My glorious beard! No!

The hunters then chuckled at Master Roshi's reaction to loosing his 'glorious' beard.

(Cut to nighttime where everyone is sleeping upstairs. Krillin is seen on the front porch looking up at the sky.)

TURTLE: Hey, Krillin. What are you doing out here? Why aren't you upstairs sleeping with your girlfriend like everyone else?

KRILLIN: Oh... Hey, Turtle. I'm just up thinking to myself.

TURTLE: What'cha thinking about?

KRILLIN: It's just... I'm not sure if Maron loves me for who I really am. It's all presents and traveling and caviar and...

TURTLE: Beluga?

KRILLIN: No, Paozu tuna.

"Aren't they more common in colder environments, like Atlas?" the cat Faunus asks.

"Yeah, Mantle's fishermen collect them by the hundreds everyday." Weiss mentions.

TURTLE: Wow, that's rare.

KRILLIN: And it’s just... I just don’t know if she loves Juan... or Juan’s money.

TURTLE: How much money do you have?

KRILLIN: About 5.7 million.

TURTLE: Didn't you get me a gift card from the Gap?

"Cheap skate." Weiss whispered.

KRILLIN: Not what we're talking about!

TURTLE: Okay, look. If she really does love you for who you are, then you have to tell her the truth. Open up to her, it's the only way.

KRILLIN: Are you sure that'll work?

TURTLE: Well, if it doesn't, you could always get her a giant pearl. (music stops) What? Bitch is a gold digger.

Yang giggled at Turtle's alternate option for Krillin's and Maron's relationship.

(cut to Krillin and Maron walking in a city, with Krillin carrying a ton of presents)

MARON: Okay, first we're gonna go buy Lush because all of their soaps look like cakes and I wanna eat them! Oh, and I hope you remembered to make those reservations for L'Anus Serré at 7:30; I hear they’re very uptight.

KRILLIN:(thinking)Man, can I really go through with this?"Do it man, or you going bankrupt." Ren adviced, She seems so happy... (looks at Maron’s butt) No! No, Krillin! Stop focusing on that perfect, heart-shaped pillow of an ass! Tonight, you will tell her; and then you will tap that! Please tap that...!|

(cut to Krillin and Marron walking in a beach at sunset)

MARON: Oh, my God, I just love nice walks on the beaches. Oh, do you think if I swim out far enough, I'd reach Australia? Oh, my God, can we go on a Sandals vacation?

KRILLIN: Listen, Maron... I need to talk to you.

MARON: Oh, don't worry, Juan-Ton, I made the reservations for you, so you don't have to worry about it.

KRILLIN: Actually, I... need to come clean. See, my name isn't actually Juan Sanchez. It's... Krillin.

MARON: That is a silly name. *gasp* I'll call you Krilly-Billy!

"Oh please Oum, just kill me." Weiss begged.

KRILLIN: That's not everything... You see, all this money I own is actually from my own life insurance policy. "I've been meaning to ask: Who got the money first?" said Pyrrha, From when I died. On another planet. Blown up by an evil space emperor but was then brought back to life by a magical dragon.

MARON: Uhhh-huh.

KRILLIN: But what I really want to ask Maron is... do you love me for me, or do you just love me for my money?

MARON: Ohh, Krilly-Billy. Of course I don't just love you for your money.

KRILLIN: Y-You really mean that?

MARON: I never loved you at all!

"Wow, that's more colder than Weiss rejecting Jaune so many times back at Beacon." Yang compaired while Jaune chuckled out of embaressment.

KRILLIN: (falls over to the ground) Oh... (gets up) Well, can we at least still try the sex stuff?

MARON: No, Krillin, you don't understand! I was never really your girlfriend. See, I'm with the States Fraud Bureau and you just confessed to a LOT of insurance fraud; which I recorded. (Krillin's jaw drops on the ground)

"Welp, their goes his fortune." Nora stated.

KRILLIN: Wait, you have a recorder on you? Where?

MARON: In my boobs!

KRILLIN: Curses! The one place I couldn't reach! I'm going to prison, aren't I?

"Why would he worry about prison? Can't he blow up a mini solar system if he wanted to?" Blake wondered.

MARON: Well, normally you would, but do you have any idea what they'd do to guys like you? No, you'll just have to pay back everything you owe.

KRILLIN: Wait, what about all the money I spent on you?

MARON: You'll just have to pay that out of pocket!

KRILLIN: BUT I DROPPED OVER 500 GRAND ON YOU!

MARON: Honey, I work for the government. I never claimed to be a good person.

(Krillin Owned Count: 29)

"Owned once again." the ginger-haired girl chuckled.

(cut to an outside shot of Kame House)

KRILLIN: And that's why I need a place to stay.

MASTER ROSHI: Heh, I'll go blow up the air mattress.

KRILLIN: I do have to admit though, it's nice being a free man again. No women nipping at my heels... Know what I mean? (a plane arrives at the island with Chi-Chi jumping out)

"You were saying?" Ruby corrected.

CHI-CHI: All right, I demand to know who has been spreading rumors that I've been forcing Gohan to, and I quote, "Pound my tuna"!

KRILLIN: Look, Chi-Chi, if it really upsets you, we'll all take turns pounding your tuna, okay? "No... just no." Blake groaned as she looks at Yang, seeing a huge grin on the blondes face, But only if we get to eat it together.(Master Roshi chuckling loudly off-screen)

Krillin, fly. Fly away as fast as you can." the crimsonette warned.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(cut to Kami's Lookout where Mr. Popo is humming and watering pot)

MR. POPO: Hm?

(The Spice Boys start wreaking havoc all over the lookout, laughing and even destroying the pot Mr. Popo was watering, before stopping in front of the entrance and kneels down to Garlic Jr., who's walking outside the entrance.)

GARLIC JR.: *chuckles* The view hasn't changed a bit!

"You didn't make Mr. Popo cry, garlic is a lie!" Nora cried out.

MR. POPO: (unfazed) Clean that up.

GARLIC JR.: I beg your pardon? Have you any inkling in that simple little head of yours who you're speaking to?

MR. POPO: Oh, please, do go on.

GARLIC JR.: I am the usurper of this proud throne your worthless guardian holds so dear. I am Garlic Jr., returned from the wretched abyss known as the Dead Zone. And I have come for what's rightfully mine-- (a black substance starts wafting up into his face) What's going on? I don't remember releasing the Black Water Mist just yet-- Oh, god! No! Augh, get it off me!

(Garlic Jr. and the Spice Boys all scream in terror as the camera zooms up to Mr. Popo's eyes and Garlic Jr. is last seen falling into a dark abyss. Kami arrives at the lookout.)

The hunter trainees suddenly froze as Mr. Popo just smiles with wide eyes and a blank stare.

KAMI: Mr. Popo, I'm back, and I-- oh, my me! What happened to the lookout?

MR. POPO: Oh, don’t mind this, Kami. I just had a bit of Italian for dinner.

KAMI: What does that have to do with--

MR. POPO: 'CAUSE IT WAS NOTHIN' BUT GARLIC!

The teenage hunters chucked alittle at Mr. Popo's joke as the episode ends with a crazed look in the black genie's eyes and smile.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

GARLIC JR.: Don't be a dummy! Give them your money!

"Okay, but why though?" Yang questions.

[PROLOGUE: KAME HOUSE]

(cut to Kame House, where MASTER ROSHI, YAMCHA, BULMA, OOLONG, PUAR, KRILLIN, and MARON are standing back as GOHAN is consulting with CHI CHI)

GOHAN: Mom... (camera takes shots of each of the characters' shocked faces) This is an intervention. We love you. We all support you, but your manner of raising me has been too strict, and too harsh. Like my new tutor.

(cut to flashback)

TUTOR: (while cracking whip at GOHAN's back, while GOHAN is studying) LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! ARE YOU LEARNING YET?

"Jesus Oum! Not even my father's tutor's would ever perform such methods like that when I was being raised!" Weiss proclaimed.

GOHAN: (turns around) I don't know. Did Caligula get his comeuppance?

TUTOR: GOOD! IT'S WORKING!

(the TUTOR continues to whip GOHAN's back more)

TUTOR: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

(Gohan sighs)

(cut to present)

GOHAN: I know that you love me. "I don't think she does." Blake guess', But it seems your only way of expressing it, is theoretical math, and organic chemistry. So please, put the tiger mom back in the cage, and then maybe, Dad will come home.

(CHI CHI slaps GOHAN, knocking him out)

"You hit the 'Goku' button, you shouldn't have did that." Nora announces.

"Gohan, no!" Ruby cries out.

"Oh calm down, Ruby. Your boyfriend will be fine." Yang teased to her younger sister.

"Shut up, Yang!" the crimsonette shouted out as she secretly brushed.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(however, the opening sequence is immediately cut by a caption displayed in white on a black background, displaying "DBZ ABRIDGED KAI II.9")

[SCENE 1: KAMI'S LOOKOUT]

KRILLIN: And that's why we're on The Lookout, but it kinda seems like you've got another thing going on.

(camera shows the SPICE BOYS)

SPICE: We are the Spice Boys. "Hmmm, tasty." Nora hummed, So stop, and move over. Because we are about to spice up your life! I am Spice.

"Wow, what a unique name." Ren sarcastically cheered.

VINEGAR: Hey. Name's Vinegar.

TARD: And my name is... (pauses, face morphing to an embarrassed expression) ...is Tard.

"Well, we're demonitised." Pyrrha stated.

KRILLIN: Excuse you?

TARD: Like "mustard"! Come on, guys! Please don't make a big deal out of this! It's cultural, okay?

"Well, at least he tried to be creative." Jaune mentions.

VINEGAR: Pfft, I shorten Vinegar all the time, but you don't hear me calling myself N--

SPICE: Vinny! Dammit, you're going to get us all in trouble again. Don't make us kick you out like we did with Baby Spice.

"Was there an Old Spice?" the cat Faunus wonders.

(cut to flashback)

BABY SPICE: Whenever I got out of town on business, I like to do my research on where I'm going. Oh, 'Baby' baby, got it." Blake realises, What are the local hot-spots, the bar scene, the age of consent "Ew!" Ruby gagged,; make the best of my time, y'know?

"You naughty baby." the blonde brawler continuely teased.

(cut to present)

ENEMA: And I'm Enema.

"Wait, there's more than three henchmen... how do they label the minion stereotypes?" Ren whispers to himself.

(cut to a scene from the movie Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi)

ADMIRAL PIETT: It's an older reference, sir, but it checks out.

"As are you, my Axxilan ally." the ginger-haired girl saluted.

(cut back to Kami's Lookout, to where a figure is walking out of the building)

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Wait. Is that...? (figure reveals to be GARLIC JR.) Garlic Jr.! Weren't you trapped in another dimension never to escape?

"Yeah, how did he escaped the 'unescapable' Dead Zone?" Ruby asks with confusion.

GARLIC JR.: Yes. I escaped.

KRILLIN: Oh no!

GARLIC JR: Quite. And now, I've captured Kami, and released the Black Water Mist upon the planet. (holds up a glass container containing KAMI)

KAMI: (muffled) It's actually something Popo's been fermenting for a couple hundred years. "Good lord! It's Oum in a bottle! Nora gasped, He says it's great for vape pens and butt chugging.

GARIC JR.: Ew.

The hunter trainees even copied Garlic Jr.'s reaction.

SPICE: And now, with the help the Makyo Star, we're going to wipe out all of the Earth's defenses.

GOHAN: Please, we got Piccolo, and he'd beat up Second Form Frieza. What are you gonna--?

(camera views PICCOLO struggling with SPICE, growling like a dog)

GOHAN: Oh great. He's on bath salts too. (PICCOLO continues growling like a dog)

SALT: Time to get the shit out! (tackles GOHAN, knocking him out)

KRILLIN: Gohan!

(TARD punches KRILLIN in the gut, long moment of silence)

KRILLIN: Fuck! (passes out)

TARD: You and I are gonna have a real gas.

KRILLIN: (recovering) The long-term effects of mustard gas on soldiers in World War II was horrific. Why would y--?

"Wait, 'World War Two'? But there's only been the Great War." Ruby wondered.

"True, but since this is a different reality," Ren stated, "there could have been more than one Great War from where they come from."

(TARD grabs KRILLIN's head, then slams it into his knee, then the other, then the other, eleven times before kicking his face, knocking him down)

KRILLIN: (repeatedly grins in pain) AW, FINALLY! (lands on the ground)

TARD: By the way, it was World War I.

KRILLIN: (recovering) Right, I know. You just, like, you start saying "World War", and you kinda want to say "II". Y'know, it's like with Terminator. Everybody knows there's a first one but everybody's always talking about the seq--

(TARD fires an energy wave at KRILLIN, electrocuting him)

"Y'know, I kinda agree with him." JNPR's leader mentions.

KRILLIN: WAUUUUUGH! (faints)

GOHAN: Krillin! Oh my God, are you okay?

KRILLIN: Man. I'm glad we skipped this the first time.

GOHAN: Well where's Vegeta? He can help us.

"Actually yaeh, where IS Vegeta?" Yang questions.

KRILLIN: Apparently, he went out to space to find your dad.

"Oh."

(cut to another planet)

VEGETA: Alright. I've checked everywhere except for Planet Yardrat and Vampa. "You probably should have checked there." Blake comments, Wait a minute... Am I floating in space? Man, *chuckles* it's a good thing I'm in a part of the galaxy where there's air.

"What, like on Arlia?" Pyrrha asks.

(cut back to Kami's Lookout)

ENEMA: (towards TARD) So I told the bitch "Don't worry! Once I'm all up in your guts, you're gonna feel fresh and clean!"

"EW! That sounds gross! Disgusting!" Weiss cried out is sinkness.

GOHAN: HAAAAH! (fires an energy wave at ENEMA)

ENEMA: HOLY SHIT! UUUUUUUGH!

(GOHAN's energy wave catches ENEMA, who disintegrates)

TARD: Enema! Noooo! (turns to GOHAN) I mean, we actually hated him, so I'm not really heartbroken over it, but I've been using his HBO Go account, and while I'm not into Game of Thrones, I'm really enjoying Silicon Val--

"Your in the middle of a battle, is this really the best time?" the ex-heiress annoyingly questions.

GOHAN: (fires an energy wave from midair at TARD) HAAAUGH!

(GOHAN's energy wave catches TARD)

TARD: FUCK! (disintegrates)

"Thank Oum." she sighed in relief.

KRILLIN: Holy shit, Gohan. Did you just kill two people?

GOHAN: (fiercely, powering up) I now have a taste for blood! (flies down to GARLIC JR.)

GARLIC JR.: Why are you like that, though?

VINEGAR: Spice, release the cokehead.

SPICE: Sic 'em, boy (releases PICCOLO)

PICCOLO: RAUGH!

(fourth wall break, as the "video" pauses)

"Wait, what's happening?" Yang confusingly asks.

[SCENE 2: REAL LIFE]

(camera pans a view over KAISERNEKO's computer, displaying the script for "GARLIC JR Kai")

Uh, what?" Ruby then asks.

"'Google Docs'? What's this all about?" the cat Faunus wonders.

KAISERNEKO: (turns to his cast crew) Guys, what should we do with this scene?

LANIPATOR: (rises from his seat, high on cocaine, growling) We should do a "Dodge!" joke. We haven't done one in forever. People f-f-f-fucking love them, and we made the goddamn shirt! WE FUCKING DO IT! (slams his fist on his cocaine, spraying white powder all over him)

"I-is he doing drugs?" Pyrrha stutters.

"It looks like it." Jaune answers.

KAISERNEKO: (shakes head) Maybe? I don't know. Kurt, what do you think?

(KAISERNEKO and LANIPATOR turn to TAKAHATA101, who is drinking wine from its box. TAKAHATA101 puts a thumbs-up in agreement)

KAISERNEKO: Alright. "Dodge!" joke it is.

LANIPATOR: (cheering) FUCK YEAH! (knocks the wine box from TAKAHATA101's hands, who retaliates by slapping LANIPATOR across the cheek) DAUGH!

[SCENE 3: BACK TO SHOW]

PICCOLO: DODGE! (punches GOHAN in the face)

"Ah, he said it, Ren!" Nora cheered.

GOHAN: (flying from the blow) AUGH! (lands on hard ground)

(GOHAN is hardly able to recover)

GARLIC JR.: Good. Now choke him. Choke the shit out of him!

"Oh my~!" Yang referenced.

(PICCOLO grabs his hands around GOHAN's neck)

GOHAN: (straining) Harder...!

Oh m- wait what?" the blonde brawler shockingly asks.

PICCOLO: (surprised) Woah!

GARLIC JR.: (surprised) Woah!

VINEGAR: (surprised) Bro!

SPICE: (surprised) What!

KRILLIN: (surprised) Jesus, what!

The Hunter-trainees even responded with similar responce.

GOHAN: (straining) Fight it... harder, Mr. Piccolo...!

"That's a lot more tame." Blake compaired.

The rest then sighed a "Phew..." in relief.

PICCOLO: (relieved) Oh. Thank Kami.

GARLIC JR.: (relieved) Oh good, good. Back to the choking, then.

PICCOLO: Nah. It's weird now. You made it weird, Gohan. (releases GOHAN, then kicks him away) Now I'm hungry. (picks up KRILLIN)

"Wait, I thought Namekians don't eat?" JNPR's leader questions.

"Well, we haven't seen him eat anything throughout the show, so... your guess is good as mine." the dead four-time champion stated as she leans her head on Jaune's shoulder.

KRILLIN: Wait. Wait! WAIT!

(PICCOLO chomps on KRILLIN's back)

KRILLIN: (sexually aroused) Mmmm...! (gets thrown out of the Lookout by PICCOLO, falling) Yeeeeeeeeeeeee...t!

Ruby, Yang and Nora giggled at Krillin's reaction to being thrown off the Lookout.

GOHAN: Please, Mr. Piccolo! Don't let the Black Water Mist control you!

SPICE: No, no. We gave him cocaine. Did you not hear us?

GOHAN: ...Wha--?

Even Ruby reacted the same way with Gohan.

SPICE: It's a spice.

VINEGAR: Spice of life.

KAMI: (muffled) Mr. Popo leaves it lying around. I made French toast the other week, and it was a bad time. Well at first, it was a good time. Very productive day, but then... it wasn't.

GARLIC JR.: ...I want some coke-toast.

"Coke-toast for three please." the hammer-wielding girl requested.

"No Nora!" Ren quickly responded, "Having you drink things like coffee is bad enough, Oum knows how bad you'll be with something like 'Coke-Toast'."

(PICCOLO swats GOHAN to the front of SPICE and VINEGAR)

GARLIC JR.: Alright, Piccolo. Make like an anti-vaxxer and murder this child!

"Dark." the crimsonette summed up.

SPICE: Getting a little heavy-handed with the social commentary, aren't we?

VINEGAR: Art should be controversial, man.

PICCOLO: Actually, hold on. Wanna see something gross?

"YES!" Nora cheered.

GARLIC JR.: I don't really do gross.

(PICCOLO squeezes his neck, spurting purple fluid)

GARLIC JR.: Oh God, guy, what are you--?

(PICCOLO squeezes his neck more, spurting out more purple fluid)

GARLIC JR.: Oh--Oh no--No--No don't--I--I can't--I can't do gro--

(PICCOLO does two hard squeezes to his neck, squirting out a lot of purple fluid)

"No, just no." Jaune asks as he gags and covers his eyes, almost vomiting on site.

"'Namekian Neck Wine', seems like a good product name to me." Yang thought.

GARLIC JR.: I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up!

"Me too..." the blonde leader also responded.

"What, you guys don't like Namekian Neck Wine?" Yang asks.

"We are not calling it that!" Weiss angerly states.

(a stream of purple fluid is bursting out from PICCOLO's neck, having GARLIC JR. vomiting)

GARLIC JR.: Blaaaaugh!

Jaune quickly runs towards the bathroom, slamming the door in the process, as the other vaguely hear JNPR's leader vomining into the toliet.

SPICE: Hey, Vinny? I think the coke's worn off-- (gets kicked by PICCOLO, being knocked back)

PICCOLO: (growling) More! I need more!

SPICE: Alright, man. Jesus. I-I'm sure there's more around here somewhere--

(GOHAN tackles SPICE to a horn on the wall, impaling him)

"Sweet Oum, Gohan is on a killing spree here." Pyrrha notices.

PICCOLO: NOOOOOOO! MY COCAIIIIIINE!

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, I've had one intervention today, and I will NOT have another!

VINEGAR: Ugh. Okay, this place is killing my high. I'm out. (stands up to leave)

(camera shows GARLIC JR.'s disappointed face, as sounds of footsteps and a door opening and closing can be heard)

GARLIC JR.: ...Are you fucking me right now?! You know what?  Fine. I'm a strong independent demon who don't need no henchmen.

(GARLIC JR. powers up with a Mario power-up sound effect, then jumps in front of a surprised KRILLIN)

[SCENE 3: DEAD ZONE]

GARLIC JR.: (deeper, more fierce voice) Imagine my shlong in this form!

"Oh Oum! I don't want that image in my head!" the white-haired girl gagged at the thought, as did everyone else.

Jaune then walks out the bathroom, feeling slightly better as he sluggishly walks back and sits next top the undead red-head.

KRILLIN: (aroused) Mmmmm...!

GOHAN: Oh, God. He's giant and immortal! There's literally no way to defeat him!

GARLIC JR.: That's right, fuck-boys! Now behold...

(a huge spot in the sky, revealing an abyss in the rift)

GARLIC JR.: ...the terrifying abyss that is the Dead Zone! For banishing me before, you shall suffer that same gruesome fate forever! And... (eyes widen) Wait... Did I...? "Being an idiot right now? Yes." said Blake, I just did it again, didn't I? I literally just did the exact same thing that got me an L last time! What am I doing?! This is exactly what my therapist told me not to do!

"One who fell into the Dead Zone?" Ren asks.

"I think i'll need a therapist after this." Ruby stated while feeling traumatised.

"What you two nee is some Namekian Neck Wine." Yang suggested.

KAMI: (having somehow escaped) We're very happy of you for seeking help.

GARLIC JR.: I'm doing it for me, but I appreciate the support. Anyway, nobody move. Nobody do anything. I'm going to close it up, and then I'm going to let my immortality wear you down, and--

(GARLIC JR. gets a bullet lodged into his forehead, causing him to faint and become sucked into the Dead Zone again. Camera pans to reveal ALUCARD, who is holding his two guns)

The teenage hunters werein shock as Garlic Jr. got shot into the dead Zone by this unknown figure. (A/N: I know it's Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, but RWBY and JNPR don't know that.)

ALUCARD: Kept you waiting, huh? (roster shows ALUCARD posing with the caption "Alucard Goes For a Walk!" with the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate theme playing)

"Who was that?" Weiss asks confusingly.

"I don't know, but I like him." Yang purred.

(cut to Goku's house, where GOHAN is sleeping at his desk)

GOHAN: Uhh! (sits up at his desk) What did I just watch--I mean... dream? "Seems like those apples from the first movie have some lingering after-effects." Ren comments, Wow. I certainly wouldn't like and subscribe to that. Or hit the bell icon to stay updated with notifications. Definitely wouldn't check out any Patreon either.

"D-did he unknowningly advertised what he was saying?" the cat Faunus notices.

(GOHAN is suddenly lashed in the back by a whip)

"JESUS OUM!" everyone shockinly responded.

TUTOR: NO SLEEPING DURING YOUR LESSONS! (continues lashing at GOHAN) LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

CARLEEN MORRIGAN: Hello. You're listening to ZPR. "What is this?" Ruby asks, I'm Carleen Morrigan, and tonight, we're joined by Vinegar, author of this year's bestselling novel: The Fault in Our Makyo Stars. Now, in this book, you refer to yourself as "The Big Dumb Stupid One". Why is that?

VINEGAR: Because at the time, that's the role I made for myself, y'know? Or rather, allowed other people to make for me. Too often, we fall into the preconceptions laid out by society, because we don't know anything else, right? That's what this book is about. It's about changing who you are, and hopefully, those around you.

CARLEEN MORRIGAN: And do you feel bad about all the people you massacred in your conquest throughout space?

VINEGAR: (sighs) To paraphrase Alexander Pope, if I may: "To err is demon; to forgive, divine." And I believe we are not the sum of our past mistakes, but rather the direction of our future.

"That's... actually well said from someone like this guy." the ex-heiress agreed with Vinegar's words.

CARLEEN MORRIGAN: Wise words from not a big dumb stupid man. Thank you, Mr. (bleep).

The hunters eyes widened as they assumed to know what Vinegar's nickname is.

VINEGAR: Oh wow. Um... It's "Vinny", actually.

"I kinda feel sorry for the guy now." Jaune said with sympathy as some of the others agreed with the blonde leaders judgement.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

BULMA: The following is a non-profit, fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Capsule Corporation in West City)

BULMA: Hey, Yamcha. Thanks for coming by and picking up the rest of your stuff.

YAMCHA: Hey, no problem. I mean, didn't have to, you know, throw out most of it...

BULMA: Eh, you were dead and it was taking up space.

OOLONG: Much like your corpse.

Jaune and Ruby almost let go of some tears at remembering Pyrrha's dead. Luckly, Weiss and the temporarily resurrected Pyrrha comfort both of them.

YAMCHA: Ha-ha. Ah, where did you bury me anyway?

BULMA: Bury?

(shows a shot of Yamcha's corpse, still decaying in the pit he died in, with buzzing sounds being heard off-screen)

Everyone slightly chuckled at Yamacha's rotting corpse being swarmed with flys.

OOLONG: So, Bulma. How's the single life treating you?

BULMA: It's been nice, actually. Had a dream about Vegeta last night... <