Chapter 1: Meanieheads and Parents
“Kurt.” The boy filled in his name for him, although they had never met. They had never met in person that was. Kurt had known this boy for years and had met him in his dreams every time things became bad. In fact, the last time Kurt had seen Blaine had only been a few days earlier, after a particularly brutal bullying session had left him sobbing himself to sleep.
“Blaine,” he whispered. “You’re real.”
He didn’t understand what the words spoken at him meant but they were bad words and it was probably his own fault for playing with dolls anyway. Boys weren’t supposed to play with dolls, only girls. His daddy had stood up and yelled at the mean men and taken him home, saying sorry over and over again like he was the one who said the bad words.
“I’m so, so sorry for those boys Kurt. They shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“I don’t get it, daddy,” Kurt said. “What did all those things mean?”
“You’re way too smart for your age Kurt,” his father responded with one of those sad smiles that meant something was wrong. “Don’t worry about it son. There are some mean people in the world who like to hurt other people to feel better about their own sad lives, but they’re not worth our time. They’re just words. Let’s go get some ice cream.”
The whole time, getting ice cream with his daddy, Kurt saw the sadness in his eyes. If the mean boys were bad enough to make his daddy look like crying then they had to be the meanest guys ever because daddy was tough and didn’t cry.
When they got home from ice cream, his mommy really cried. “I can’t believe they’d call my baby such horrible things,” she said, wrapping her arms around Kurt and holding him in a tight hug. “Are you okay Kurtie?”
“Of course, they’re just words mommy.”
“Oh sweetie, you know that daddy and I love you no matter what. We’re always going to love you no matter what.” Kurt wanted to tell his mommy that she was clinging too tight, holding on too tightly but it seemed to make her smile and Kurt liked when his mommy smiled. Hugs always made people smile, which was something she had taught him when he was only two. “People in this town can be kind of mean but daddy and I won’t let anyone hurt our baby boy.”
Kurt had wondered why his family had chosen to live in a mean town. They were anything but mean.
He had gone to bed still thinking about the mean words though. What was a fag and why was his daddy ruining him by letting him play with his dolls? Why were the meanieheads so mean and why did they feel better being mean? Kurt didn’t know but he didn’t like the way that things were going.
When Kurt opened his eyes again, he was at the park once more, but instead of meanieheads who made him cry there was another little boy. Kurt sort of knew that it was a dream but he didn’t mind. Dreams were good things, his mommy had said so. He waved to the little boy who was sitting crosslegged inside of the sandbox. “Hi,” the boy said shyly, looking up at Kurt. “I’m Blaine Anderson and I’m five years old. Who are you?”
Kurt nodded slowly. He didn’t have many friends and most of the neighborhood kids would never ask him to play. Maybe they were meanies too because he came from a meanie town. He liked Blaine though; Blaine seemed friendly and this was a dream, not a mean place. The boy handed Kurt his shovel and Kurt began to idly dig, not sure what Blaine wanted to make. “Want help doin’ that?” Blaine asked, holding up a bucket. He helped Kurt dig up dirt to put into the bucket. “We can make a castle and play king and queen.”
“But we have no girls.”
“I’ll be queen this time,” Blaine said happily.
“I’ll be queen next time,” Kurt said just as eagerly.
Blaine smiled and then turned his bucket over, creating a well formed castle. Kurt held the shovel and then an idea lit up inside of him. “We can make a moat around the castle,” Kurt said quickly.
Kurt had been disappointed when he woke up before the castle was complete. He told his mother all about Blaine and she told him that he had an “active ‘magination.” Kurt didn’t get what that meant really but after he played with Blaine everything felt better and he forgot all about the incident at the park. He quickly learned that when things got bad in his stupid, mean town, he could always go back to Blaine.
Blaine’s parents fought all the time. They fought about money and about their jobs and never being home. They didn’t smile much and they ignored Blaine even though he really needed help in school stuff. He felt lonely and the first grade was hard. There were numbers and stuff and Blaine was really, really bad at doing stuff with numbers. He was one of the best spellers in the first grade and wrote his name “really pretty” according to Mrs. Jackson, his teacher, but he was having lots of trouble with stupid, stupid math. He was also really, really sad when his parents wouldn’t help him. His friends at school had moms and dads or at least nannys who could help them.
Blaine went to bed very, very early when his parents fought. It wasn’t because he liked to go to bed early; he actually hated to go to bed early, but he knew that Kurt would be there in his dreams. He used his best friend as a defense against how lonely he felt. He was lonely at home but he wasn’t lonely when he and Kurt played at their little park. He hoped that they could swing that day.
“What’s wrong Blaine?” Kurt asked, looking very worried about him. He stopped and stared at Blaine for a very long time with his little hands on his hips. Kurt was a lot smaller than Blaine was and Blaine thought Kurt looked funny, like a miniature version of a mommy. “You look very, very sad.”
“My mommy and daddy are fightin’,” he told Kurt in a quiet voice. It wasn’t really a secret but his parents and his other family members always tried to hush Blaine when he talked about the fighting. It was like some kind of horrible secret to them, one that Blaine could not talk about even though it made him sad, like he was going to cry. “I don’t get it and it makes me confused. My daddy’s always yellin’ at my mommy and then my mommy gets sad and nobody talks much.”
“I ‘member my mommy yelling at my daddy once,” Kurt supplied helpfully, just as confused as he was. “Daddy said it was ‘cause they were havin’ a fight but they stopped and kissed and made up after.”
“I wish my mommy and daddy would kiss and make up.”
Kurt looked Blaine over seriously and then leaned over and hugged him tightly. Blaine let his smaller friend squeeze him as tight as he possibly could. Kurt then paused and pulled back, thinking for a minute and then kissing Blaine on his forehead. “Does that make you feel better?” he asked curiously.
“A little bit. Why?”
“That’s what my mommy usually does when I’m sick or sad. It makes me feel better.”
“Thank you Kurt, I do feel better. Your mommy is smart.”
“Let’s go swing.”
“You’re not supposed to be real,” Blaine told Kurt, seriously, glancing over at the two boys behind him and then speaking quieter so that they would not hear. “Kurt, you’re a figment of my imagination and you are not real.”
“I could say the same for you,” Kurt said awkwardly. “Blaine, is there somewhere private that we can go?” He was not going to sit here and talk to the imaginary friend he’d had since he was four without some privacy.
Chapter 2: Crisis
“You can’t be Kurt,” Blaine said decisively, when the pair of boys sat down in his dorm room. He was not going to believe that Kurt was a real person. He already thought he was insane for having the same recurring dream for the past eleven years. He reached out and touched Kurt’s hand, trying to see if it was real. Kurt withdrew his hand immediately. “Kurt doesn’t exist!”
“You can say that all you’d like, but I am,” Kurt said calmly. Blaine realized immediately that it was forceful calm, the kind of calm that he saw on Kurt’s face when he was anything but. He knew Kurt way too well for this. He couldn’t know Kurt. He felt like he was going to throw up. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right.
He swallowed heavily, looked down and then back at Blaine. “Blaine, what did you do when I told you my mother had cancer?”
“I compared it to my aunt’s struggles with breast cancer then woke up and looked up everything I could about cancer so that I could help my best friend.”
Kurt looked ready to cry.
Kurt didn’t realize that his mommy was even sick at first. He just knew that she laid in bed a lot and was starting to get really, really thin. In order for Kurt to realize just how sick his mother was, he had to be told by his father. His dad wrapped his arms around Kurt and spoke slowly. Kurt knew that when Daddy spoke slowly, that meant something was wrong and he was trying to figure stuff out. He knew that when Daddy hadn’t figured things out then the worst had happened. “Kurt,” he said softly. “I just wanted to let you know that your mom is going to be very sick and tired when she comes back from the hospital tomorrow. I don’t want it to scare you, but the medicines the doctors are giving her are going to make her sick before she can get better.”
“Why?” Kurt asked. As far as he knew, medicine was supposed to make a person feel better. When he got sick and his mom or dad gave him medicine it always made him feel better. Sometimes it made him feel a little tired but not sick. Medicine shouldn’t make someone sick if it was good medicine. That was the only way to think about it. “Is it bad medicine? Are the doctors gonna hurt her?”
“No Kurt,” his father said soft, holding him tightly. “Your mother has cancer and the medicines the doctors are going to have to give her are very strong. They’re just harsh and they’ll hurt her a little bit but I promise you that they’re going to get rid of the bad stuff inside of her and make her better than ever. Your mommy will be stronger than ever.”
“Okay, daddy.” Kurt then considered his father’s words and spoke again. “How can I help her?”
“Trust me Kurt,” the man said softly. “You help your mom just by being here. You give her a reason and you make her so, so happy. When your mommy comes back from the hospital, you’re going to have to give her a lot of quiet and a lot of love.”
That Kurt could do, but he needed Blaine in order to feel better, safer. He had seen his father’s worry, even though he didn’t quite understand it then. He had not known that the cancer was deadly and could take her life. He had never imagined that kind of risk for his mommy. He had gone to Blaine and their safe place that night. Blaine looked tired and was sitting on a bench but seemed to know that his best friend was hurting. He didn’t even have to ask the question to Kurt. It was in his eyes.
“My mommy’s sick,” he told Blaine. Blaine was a nice person and never made fun of Kurt even though he was a big boy and still called his parents mommy and daddy. Blaine was also the smartest boy ever so he figured that if Blaine thought he was okay then he was okay. “She has cancer.”
Blaine’s eyes got wide and obviously he understood the disease much better than his best friend did. Kurt frowned and then hugged Blaine tightly. Blaine hugged him back and held him really, really tightly. “What is that?” Kurt asked. “Do you know? I don’t understand it. Daddy says that mommy’s medicines are gonna make her sick. I don’t want her to get sick and don’t really get how medicine’s ‘sposed to make you better if it makes you sick.”
“I don’t really know,” Blaine admitted. “My auntie had cancer a long, long time ago when I was a baby but she’s better now. She always wears pink clothes and goes to these big parties that are really loud because she used to have it.”
“It went away though. I’m sure your mommy’s will too. I’ll look it up for you in my daddy’s big doctor books.”
“Thank you Blaine!”
Blaine had really gone home and looked up all he could for Kurt. He didn’t understand the big words though and pretty much had to give up. He had been so worried about Kurt and his mommy’s cancer that he had not even told Kurt that his mom was going to get a divorce from his dad. He had to be the bigger kid, the stronger kid, and help Kurt, not the other way around. Plus, just playing in the park with Kurt made him feel less scared of the divorce.
A few days later, Kurt and Blaine found themselves in their special place again but it wasn’t Kurt who was in pain. The chemotherapy had made his mom sick and tired like his daddy had predicted, but she smiled and promised Kurt she was getting better so he relaxed. Blaine however didn’t look happy at all.
“What’s wrong Blaine?” he asked, going to sit down under the tree. He didn’t feel much like playing when Blaine was sad.
Blaine sat down with him. “My mommy and daddy are getting’ a divorce,” he said softly. “I don’t even really get it.”
“I don’t know what that means…”
“It means my daddy’s gonna go live in another house,” he said softly. “It’s okay I guess but it makes me kinda sad. It means that they’re not gonna fight anymore. It means that the yellin’ won’t be there right?”
“Why are you sad then?”
Blaine shifted and shrunk down, raising his shoulders a little bit. “I don’t wanna live in two different houses,” he mumbled. “I have to go to my dad’s house in two weeks to spend time or whatever that means. I’m scared. Mom says that means I’ll get a new bedroom and stuff so I can have two but I only want more. She says they both love me so I…yeah, they love me and it’s not my fault and a buncha weird stuff.”
Kurt didn’t know how to be much comfort. He sat with his hands in his lap.
Blaine smiled a little bit. “How’s your mom Kurt?”
“Wanna play hide and seek?” Kurt asked giggling softly. He didn’t know how to make Blaine better except for hugs and hide and seek. Hugs, because he knew hugs were comforting to people and hide and seek because it was Blaine’s favorite game of all. “I’ll even let you be the finder if you want to.”
It was a pretty quick game of hide and seek because honestly, Kurt was a better seeker than he was a hider. Blaine found him under the slide and practically tackled him to the ground. The boys giggled and talked until they woke up.
“Okay so it’s you,” Kurt whispered, tears in his eyes. “It’s you Blaine. What’s was your favorite game?”
“Hide and seek,” Blaine mumbled. “But I was a better hider than you.”
Kurt launched forward and wrapped his arms around Blaine. He didn’t even care that they had technically never met. This was his best friend and he had always needed and loved him. “You’re real, you’re here…you’re really, really here.”
Blaine swallowed. “Kurt, is that bully real?”
Kurt looked up from the tight hug and nodded.
Chapter 3: The worst.
"It's getting worse and worse," Kurt admitted, looking up and right into the eyes of the boy he had always cared so much for. "Karofsky is one thing, of course. He seems to have taken a personal vendetta against me in the last four months or so but there's always someone bullying me; there is always someone hurting me because I'm gay." Kurt closed his eyes and honestly could not believe that he was confessing all of his deep secrets to this boy. He then, of course, realized that he had told Blaine any and everything and started crying.
"I feel like a fool," he said as the tears began falling with no stopping them. He wiped his eyes and tried to stop crying but god, the dam had burst. He had been trying so hard to be strong but the bullying at school was just getting worse and worse and there was nothing he could do to make it better.”I'm s-sorry Blaine, I just can't stop crying."
"Kurt, I've been with you through the worst," Blaine said and when Kurt looked up he realized that there were tears in Blaine's big eyes too. "The divorce, bullies, your mom's death..."
Kurt's eyes widened as he remembered the way Blaine held him through the night when his mom passed away. He was only eight.
Kurt got off the school bus to find that something was very wrong. Where there were usually only two cars parked in the driveway in front of his house, there were now too many. They were everywhere: on the driveway, in the street and even on the front lawn next to his mother's wilting garden. He walked up to the house, confusion written all over his face. He was immediately captured by the tight grip of his Auntie Ella's arms. "What's goin on?" he asked, trying to squirm out of her tight grip. When did Auntie Ella get so strong?
"Kurtie," she said softly, using the nickname he had begged her to stop using. "Kurtie, your mom has passed away. I’m so sorry baby.”
Kurt didn’t understand what that meant. He looked up and saw that his aunt’s eyes were full of tears and shook his head. “I don’t…where’s Dad? I need Dad right now, okay?” He looked around and realized that there were way too many people at his house. People didn’t come over unless his parents were having a party. This wasn’t right. He didn’t understand what she was saying.
“Burt’s not here,” she said softly. “He has to make arrangements Kurt and he’s…he’ll be back very soon, I promise.”
“I need Dad…or, or Mom, please. I need Mom.”
“Oh sweetheart,” she said, leaning over and pulling him into another tight hold. He kicked her legs and tried to get away but she wasn’t letting go of him. “I’m so sorry Kurt. Your mom fought her sickness for a very long time, but I promise you she’s in a better place now. She’s not suffering at all anymore and that’s good, right? Your mom doesn’t have to be in pain or tired anymore. She’s with the angels now.”
“She’s not dead! Daddy said she was gonna get better.”
There were people looking at him now. He recognized some of them. There was his really fat Uncle Bill and his grandma and his cousin Kim. He shook his head and tugged at his aunt’s hand. “I really need daddy now.”
That night his aunt put him to bed, whispering things that didn’t make much sense. She told him that God was protecting his mom now and kept telling him over and over that she wasn’t hurting anymore. She kept telling him that his mom loved him but if she loved him then she wouldn’t want to be in any stupid heaven, she would want to be where Kurt was. She told Kurt once that she would always do her best to be where he was.
He cried. He couldn’t stop crying and eventually covered himself up with his blankets and breathed deeply, trying to make the crying stop. His mom had always hated it when he cried and maybe if he stopped crying she would come back. He breathed in and out and somehow he must have eventually fell asleep because he was with Blaine again when he opened his eyes next, not tucked underneath layers and layers of blankets.
Blaine looked back at him with a deep, sad look. It was as though Blaine knew something was wrong. He rushed up to Kurt and pulled him into a hug. Unlike all the adults that kept trying to hug him, Kurt accepted Blaine’s hug. Blaine was barely bigger than he was and Blaine understood.
But, then again, did Blaine really understand? He had told him that his mother was going to get better. Blaine’s auntie had cancer and she got better. Kurt pushed Blaine away with a large shove, even though Blaine was a little bit bigger than he was. “You lied!” he wailed. “You lied and said my mom would get better! She’s dead! She died and she’s with stupid angels and my daddy’s not home and everything is all messed up.”
Blaine looked at him and Kurt swore that in Blaine’s big brown eyes, he saw that the other boy was scared of him. “I’m sorry Kurt,” Blaine said. “I thought she would. I didn’t know…”
Kurt gave up. He didn’t want to be mad at Blaine. Blaine was only nine, not a genius. He launched himself at Blaine and held him as tightly as he could. Blaine looked confused and mumbled quiet words that were kind of like his aunts. Kurt pressed himself close to Blaine. He didn’t remember that much but he knew Blaine held onto him all the time.
Kurt wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “You know that I never would have survived the weeks after my mom died if it wasn’t for you being there,” Kurt muttered. “My dad was beyond lost. He was grieving so hard. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I realized how close to the edge he was. My family was tossing me back and forth until the funeral, and then my dad was empty until we had this moment of realization.”
Kurt shook his head. “My greatest comfort was knowing I could always come back to you.”
Blaine smiled a genuine, bright smile. “I promise, Kurt, that I am going to help you with this bullying situation,” he said, laying his hand on the top of Kurt’s. “You helped me with my bullies afterall when I was like eleven, right?”
Chapter 4: Growing up.
Eleven year old Blaine Anderson walked into his mom’s house with an obvious black eye. The entire left side of his face was swollen and he was trying his best to conceal it, along with his crying, from his mother. He sniffled and tried to head up to his room before his mother saw what happened but of course, he wasn’t fast enough for her. All mothers seemed to have supersonic powers and could always tell when their children were in trouble, after all.
“Blaine?” his mother asked, stopping him in his tracks. She very gently put both hands on his shoulders and turned him to look at her. She let go of his shoulder only when he refused to look up at her. She tilted his face back. Her eyes widened when she saw the mark that had been left on her child. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “Blaine, what happened to you?”
“It’s no big deal,” he sniffled out.
“Your face is all bruised and swollen up!” she shouted. “Of course it’s a big deal. Blaine, what happened to you?”
“Just some guys at school,” he mumbled sullenly. “They’ve been messing with me for awhile, but its okay mom. I’m just not strong enough.”
“Sit down,” she ordered, immediately going to get an ice pack out of the refrigerator. She very gently wrapped the blue pack in a paper towel and then pressed it to her son’s cheek. Blaine flinched at how much it hurt. He held his breath, trying his best not to cry. “Hold this here. Blaine, how long has this been going on?”
He shook his head, crying, even though he knew it was weak to cry. “It’s been goin’ on for a long time,” he explained. “He never hit me like this before. It’s my fault mom for being stupid and girly and ugly.” He wiped his tears and then put the ice pack back on his face. It felt like it was going to be the size of a balloon pretty soon. He was so tired of his stupid bullies. He wasn’t sure why Jason and Matt and all the guys hated him so much. He was a little bit different than them but different was not a bad thing. “They hurt me so much sometimes,” he added softly, tears falling helplessly. He was so ashamed of crying but it was hard not to cry with his mom fussing over him. “Even if they don’t hit me the words hurt even worse. I just want everyone to like me but nobody does…”
His mother pulled him into her arms. He leaned up against her and let her hug him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back because he needed to just hug someone or something. “I’m gonna help you Blaine,” she said. “You should have told me, or at least told your father what was happening. We’re both here and we both love you so much. We want you to be safe at school. We’re going to make this better, okay? I promise you that we will.”
“Okay mom,” he whispered, even though he knew that if she told the teacher it would only get worse. The kids at school would hate him even worse if he was a stupid snitch. He wasn’t sure what to do but at that moment he just needed his mommy to hug him. He also needed a nap and to go see Kurt. He needed to see Kurt more than anything in the whole wide world. “Can I please go lay down?”
“Of course sweetie,” his mother said. Blaine knew she was going to call his father. Maybe they would yell at each other, blame each other for all of his stupid troubles. That was what they usually did when something went wrong. He didn’t want to listen to that so he hurried upstairs as fast as he could so he could go to sleep and be with Kurt. He only felt safe and happy when he was with Kurt.
Kurt was there when Blaine arrived. He immediately fussed over Blaine’s face even more than Blaine’s own mother had. “Oh my god,” he said, brushing the back of his hand over Blaine’s bruised cheek. “What happened to you Blaine? Who hurt you?”
“Some kids at school,” Blaine said huffily.
“Yes,” Blaine mumbled, low. “Kurt, I’m so tired of him hurting me.”
Kurt hugged Blaine close, breathing in deeply. “I’m so sorry Blaine,” he said softly, holding Blaine even tighter than his mother had. Kurt was a very fussy kid and had been since Blaine met him and even more since his mom died. “There are a lot of mean boys at my school too. I don’t know why everyone is being so mean to us.”
“It’s stupid,” Blaine said softly. “They make fun of me because I’m different than them but being different is the best thing ever.”
“It is,” Kurt said quietly. “You’re also awesome. You’re my best friend ever and I love you.”
“I love you too, Kurt.”
“You really helped me survive that pain,” Blaine admitted. “All of the pain of my bullying. When it got worse in high school, I absolutely relied on being able to come back and find you. You were the reason that I kept myself going and eventually had the courage to ask my parents to send me to Dalton.”
Kurt smiled. He could not believe it. “Do you remember when we came out to each other?” he asked, giggling slightly at the embarrassing memory. It was even more embarrassing now that he realized just how real it was. They were such awkward teenage boys who needed to confess an awkward and important secret to their best friend.
“Kurt, can I tell you a secret?” Blaine asked, as he walked over to the swing set and sat down. He swung himself backwards but just a little bit. It was obvious he was nervous to tell Kurt whatever he had to. “It’s a really big deal and not something that I’ve ever told anyone, not even my family members.”
“Of course you can, Blaine,” Kurt said, walking over to the swings and sitting down next to his best friend. He rocked his swing back and forth as he watched Blaine. His eyes were watery like he wanted to cry.
“I’m gay,” Blaine said quietly. “I like boys.”
Kurt’s mouth hung open at Blaine’s words. He could not believe it. His heart began to beat in his chest and it almost hurt how much he needed the worst Blaine offered to him. Tears began to sting at the corners of his eyes and he began to cry. He could not believe that Blaine was gay. He had never met another gay boy in his life and had been dying to tell Blaine the same thing. He had not even been brave enough to tell Mercedes or his father that he was gay yet.
“Are you mad?” Blaine asked quickly, panicking at Kurt’s tears. He stopped his swing and stood up, looking like he wanted to bolt.
“No,” Kurt said, tears still falling. He reached over and wrapped his arms around Blaine tightly. He held him there, not able to let go of him. “I just…I’ve wanted to tell you that I was gay too for a really long time. I…I’m scared and haven’t told my friends at home or my father yet, but I wanted to tell you the same for a really, really long time.”
“You’re gay?” Blaine whispered.
Kurt laughed. “Look at me,” he said, shaking his head. “I think that it’s kind of obvious to everyone in the world that I’m gay but no, my father can’t even give me the relief of asking. I…I never knew anyone else who was gay. I couldn’t even imagine that someone like you was gay. Blaine, are you sure you’re really gay?”
That made Blaine laugh. He pulled back and hugged Kurt again when he saw the expression on his friend’s face. “Yes,” he said. “I’m as gay as they come Kurt, trust me. I’m really scared of what people are going to think but I can’t hide the fact that I’m gay anymore. It just hurts too much to try and pretend to be something I’m not.”
“This is amazing.”
Blaine chuckled a little bit at the memories. “I offered to be your first kiss a couple of months after I found out you were gay,” he reminded Kurt. “We both wanted to kiss someone so badly and I thought it would be only right to have our first kisses go to each other. We were sort of best friends. You said no, though.”
“I didn’t want my first kiss to go to a fake boy,” Kurt whispered, realizing that Blaine wasn’t as fake as he’d once believed.
Chapter 5: Finally for real.
Blaine smiled a little, as Kurt confessed that he had never wanted to give his kiss to a fake boy. “I can understand that,” he said, drumming his fingers on the table lightly and looking deep into Kurt’s eyes. “I wouldn’t have wanted to give my first kiss to a fake boy either, but by the time I offered you that kiss, I had already had a pretty disastrous one and I had to face the fact that you meant more to me than anyone in the real world.”
Kurt smiled at Blaine and then shook his head. “You’re not fake,” he said, surprised that tears were spreading along his eyes and spilling over. “You’re not fake Blaine.” He felt like he should repeat that over and over again because Blaine was real. “You’re real. I should have always known that you were real. My god, I mean, I just saw you like, four weeks ago at the least right? When Karofsky shoved me by the stairs I was so pissed off and then I went to sleep and there you were.”
They were both quiet for a very long moment. This whole situation was unbelievable, surreal and Kurt’s head was honestly swimming. After Blaine stayed silent for a very, very long time, Kurt had to ask him a simple question. “Blaine,” he said softly. He had always relied on this person for someone to lean on, for someone wiser to look to, and now he was here. Blaine was here and hopefully he had more answers than Kurt did. “Blaine, what do you think is happening here? What is this whole situation?”
Blaine looked at him and Kurt could see the considerations running through his head. He, himself, wasn’t sure what to think. Here he was, sitting across from a boy that had been in his dreams since he was about four years old. He had realized pretty young that he only came to Blaine when he was desperate, when he really needed someone who loved him unconditionally to just be there. Their meetings always came from some kind of need, some kind of desperation or some kind of great sadness. The two boys had absolutely needed each other every single time they came together. Each meeting in that little park was a release, a safety net, a safe haven.
“I think that we met when we needed each other,” he whispered, low. “The times that we came to each other were always times when we were desperate and felt alone.”
Blaine was verbalizing exactly what Kurt was thinking. Kurt nodded up and down enthusiastically, tears flowing like crazy. He could not help himself. “Yes,” he whispered. “Every time someone brought me down and I felt so alone, I knew that I would be able to find that place where you were.”
“It’s like we’re sou-”
“Were you going to say soul mates?” Kurt asked, watching Blaine’s face turn distinctly redder after the word almost came out. “Don’t feel embarrassed about that Blaine. I mean, it’s kind of true. We had these dreams about each other for years and years and god, I don’t believe in God but I think that there has to be some kind of soul to what’s been happening all this time. We were there for each other all of these times.”
“I was going to say soul mates,” Blaine admitted, shaking his head. He looked like he was ready to come apart at the seams, tears welling up in his beautiful brown eyes too. “You saved my life on more than one occasion.”
“You saved mine too,” Kurt mumbled softly.
Another long silence and Blaine valiantly changed the subject. “Kurt, is that bully, that Karofsky dude still hurting you? We just saw each other. God it was less than a month ago. I…is he? Is there anything that I can do right here and now? God, I’m here now. I can protect you for real instead of offer crappy advice.”
Kurt swallowed heavily. “Yes,” he said softly. “Dave Karofsky has made it his mission to make my life a living hell.”
“You don’t have to handle it alone anymore,” Blaine whispered. “I’m here, Kurt. I promise.”
Kurt nodded. He knew that he was no damsel in distress that needed saving but Blaine was there and the world seemed a whole lot safer. He felt safe, as though he could do absolutely anything because Blaine was there with him.
“I promise you Kurt, that I’ll help you handle it,” Blaine said and Kurt could see a shadow of shame slowly cross over his beloved’s face. “I…I came here to Dalton Academy because my bullying got too much to take. I found out that this place had a zero tolerance policy for that kind of thing and expelled students on the slightest incidence of bullying and I knew that I had to come here. I had to be safe. I want the same safety for you and hopefully you won’t have to be the coward I am to do it.”
Kurt shook his head. He could see the shame in Blaine’s eyes even before Blaine had called himself a coward. He was definitely not a coward. He was the bravest and strongest person that Kurt knew even before Kurt had actually known him. “Blaine, you have nothing to be ashamed of and you are not a coward,” he said. “If I could come to a school where guys like Karofsky couldn’t push guys like me around I’d do it in a heartbeat. If I could afford something like this in my life…”
“We’ll make it better for you Kurt, I promise.”
“Why did you never tell me that you came to Dalton?” Kurt asked softly. “I could have put two and two together and found you so much sooner, maybe.”
Blaine shrugged a little bit. “I never really felt the need to,” he said, a sheepish look on his face. “It was almost as though the conversation topic never came up in any of our meetings. Maybe, uh, whatever power brought the two of us together in our dreams never wanted me to. Maybe I wasn’t allowed to find you until the right moment. This is, after all, pretty much the perfect moment.”
Kurt thought about that for a second. Something very powerful and possibly supernatural had brought he and Blaine, two very real boys, into each other’s lives. It was one of the most amazing thoughts to Kurt that he could be here because he was destined to be here. He usually dismissed any idea of a destiny with total scorn but this felt right. This felt good.
“It’s kind of crazy, isn’t it?” Blaine asked, standing up. “You and I were always destined to have this moment. It’s kind of…bigger than us.”
“You can say that.”
Blaine walked over and wrapped his arms around Kurt. Kurt stood up and they hugged, tightly. Kurt had never been one for a lot of heavy physical contact. He didn’t even like to hug anyone but his father, but hugging Blaine felt so right and he just sagged into the comfort. Blaine hugged him fiercely like he was afraid Kurt would turn to dust in his arms. Kurt hugged back to convince Blaine that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“I’m sorry,” Blaine whispered, his voice heavy with tears. “I just swear to everything that I’m never letting you go again. My Kurt. My Kurt is here.”
Kurt chuckled softly. “Blaine, I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I’ve dreamt of this happening and here it is.” He knew as well as Blaine did that this was precious. Two lonely gay teenagers were finding out that their dream boy wasn’t as much of a dream as they thought. It was absolutely precious what was happening to them.
Kurt was hesitant to ask the question lingering on his lips but knew that he had to. “Blaine,” he said softly. “You’re…you’re real. I…I was wondering that well, since you’re real, I really want that kiss. I’ve still…n-never been kissed.”
It was silly and Blaine probably thought he was creepy for asking it. The other boy frowned for a second and then smiled. He let go of the tight hug and then pressed his lips firmly to Kurt’s. Kurt breathed in deeply. It was amazing. “Blaine,” he breathed into it, feeling like he was standing in that park for a split second. He was in their place and now their place was everywhere they were.