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Realms Between Us

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Jeongguk is angry.

Jeongguk is angry at his stupid friends.

He is also angry at the boy who is sitting on his bed and claiming to be a demon sent from hell.

But mostly at his stupid friends, who brought a stupid Ouija board to their sleepover – and yes, sleepovers are still cool even though they’re all over 21 years old now, shut up – and stupidly joked about summoning a demon with it and now there is a stupid boy on Jeongguk’s bed that is stupidly claiming to be a stupid demon and-

Jeongguk is angry.

Mostly because of the stupid situation he is in right now, but also because he can’t believe that he let himself get peer-pressured at 22 years old. He told himself that he wouldn't get wrapped up with the crazy shenanigans that he heard about when he first started college, wouldn't let himself get intimidated into doing things he didn't want to do. Here he is now though, unable to believe that he thought for a moment that his worth as a person was based on his sexual experience, or rather his lack thereof.

He thinks about how it all started, when he was washing his hands in the bathroom, Jimin shouting over the top of the stall as he unashamedly did his business, telling Jeongguk that sex is great and he should definitely have it.

Jeongguk couldn’t really do anything to stop him as the rest of their friends came tumbling into the small room. Jimin’s embarrassing, “Seriously, the first time you stick your dick in a lady you’ll be a changed man. Don’t worry, Jeongguk, I’ll help you un-virgin yourself!” ringing off of the tiles.

“You’re a virgin?” Hoseok, tilting his head to the side, widens his eyes and makes an astonished noise.

Yoongi, beside him, looks bored. “You’re surprised?”

It isn’t his embarrassment that he’s a virgin at 22 – there’s really no right time to do these things and he was sort of waiting for the one – that makes him crack. No, it’s not that.

It’s the fact he’s friends with the loudest people in the world.

Walking across the campus becomes a dangerous affair. Jimin points at random girls and shouts, “Oh, what about her, Guk?” Hoseok waits until the library is dead quiet to ask, “So have you found anyone to bang yet?” Seokjin picks up a jar of olive oil in the communal kitchen and says, in his unfortunately projecting voice, “Hey Jeongguk! It’s like you: Extra Virgin,” followed by squeaking laughter that draws everybody’s attention to the blushing young boy in the middle of the room.

Jeongguk can’t take it anymore. Driven to the edge, he makes the first stupid decision in a long list of stupid decisions that he will make throughout his life.

“I did it.”

“Nike would be proud.”

Jeongguk ignores Yoongi’s monotone, his hyung not looking up from his laptop.

Namjoon, the only one who is paying him any attention, glances up at him, then back down at his bowl of cereal. He takes one more spoonful, milk splashing and sloshing off of his spoon, most of its contents gone by the time it gets to his mouth. He chews, swallows, then says, “Did what, Guk?”

“I had sex.”

Everyone looks up. Jeongguk wants to roll his eyes but his cheeks are aflame and he’s incapable of doing anything but looking down at the ground and kicking at the carpet. It had taken him a lot of courage to tell them, even though it was a lie. His embarrassment had hindered him for a good hour before he had managed to get the words out. It’s a good thing though. It makes it all the more believable to his friends.

“No way!” Jimin is flying towards him, fingers clawing at his shirt. “No way! You did not!”

“I- I did.”

Hoseok starts clapping loudly. “Congratulations!”

Seokjin puts a hand on his chest. “They grow up so fast.”

“Who was it?” Jimin grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. “Was she hot? Was it good? Did you like it? Oh my god, did you come? Of course you did, you probably came way too early. Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. The question is, did she come? Probably not, it is your first time after all and-”

“Jimin.” Namjoon puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it. Jimin stumbles back, neck arching to look up at him. “Leave him alone. You’re scaring him to death.” Jeongguk looks back and forth between them with his skin pale and his eyes wide. “How about you wait until us three go back to our own dorm before you start grilling him with questions?”

“So what, just because we don’t live here we don’t get to know any details?” Seokjin tuts. “This is the thanks I get for raising you, Guk?”

“I-”

“We could come back later,” Hoseok proposes. “I’ve still got those bottles of beer leftover from New Year’s under my bed.”

“It’s September,” Yoongi says, "and those are from last New Year's, aren't they?"

“Beer doesn’t expire,” Hoseok says with a wave of the hand.

“It really does.”

“That’s a great idea.” Namjoon says over the top of them. “We’ll come back tonight.” He reaches over and pats Jeongguk’s head. The youngest flinches under his touch. “For now, you can tell Jimin as much or as little as you’re willing to tell. It’s not that big of a deal, right?” He looks at Jeongguk, eyes soft, like he see tell how much the younger is freaking right now. He probably can; Jeongguk is a sweater. 

“I’m coming too.” Yoongi abruptly stands up with his laptop in hand, MagSafe adapter flicking out of its socket.

Jimin pouts at him. “You’re not going to stay? Don’t you care about Jeongguk’s first time having sex?”

“No, I really don’t. Good for you, Guk.” Yoongi flashes him a thumbs up. “But I don’t want to know the details and I have a thesis to write. I’ll be back for beer.”

With that he leaves. The others share some smiles, knowing that Yoongi is showing his usual hard exterior. One sip of alcohol and he’ll be at the front seat, wanting to know Jeongguk’s story.

The others find their way out, See You Soon's travelling down the hallway.

“So-”

“You don’t know them. She was pretty. I liked it. Yes. Yes.”

“What?”

Jeongguk realises that it was never going to be easy.

“The person. You don’t know her. I met her at a club. I-”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Jimin leans forward. “You? At a club? Without one of us there to hold your hand? What?”

“No. Not like- I meant, a club. Like. You know, um-” Jeongguk looks around the room briefly. His eyes land on a cookbook left lying open on the bench. “The baking club.”

“Oh.” Jimin leans back. “There’s a baking club?”

Jeongguk clears his throat. “Yeah.”

“Since when do you like baking? And how does Seokjin not know about it?”

“I don’t. I was walking by, I guess. And no, uh, it’s new.”

“Oh. Well, we should tell him about it. He’ll love that shit.”

“They’re not continuing.” Jeongguk waves his hands in the air. “They had some horrible incident. Something to do with a rotten egg.” Jimin raises an eyebrow. He looks like he’s about to say something further, so Jeongguk quickly shouts, “Anyway! That girl. I met her there.”

The older boy’s eyes light up, suddenly recalling the topic at hand. Jeongguk’s shoulders sag.

“Oh yeah! So? How was it? What happened? Did you make her come, or-”

“It was fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” Jeongguk must snap more harshly than he meant to because Jimin is quiet for a moment, and then,

“Sorry, Guk.” His arm snakes around Jeongguk’s shoulders. “I’m just really happy for you, that’s all. I swear I wasn’t meaning to intrude. It’s your business.”

Jeongguk breathes in deeply. “Right. No, it’s okay. I’m just a little stressed, I guess.”

“Then it can’t have been that good!” Jimin chortles, immediately stops himself and says, “Oh, sorry. Shit, I mean. Whether it’s good or not is your business. I-”

“It’s okay.” Jeongguk pushes his arm off of him and puts some space between them. “You don’t have to be so awkward. I’m not offended or anything, I just… don’t want to talk about it, please.”

“Got it. Not awkward.” Jimin smiles easily. “I’m still happy for you.” He bounces on his heels. “Once you’ve gotten the first time over with it’s like a whole new world will open up. Seriously, you have no clue what you’re in for! Wait until you get good at it. Oh boy, you’re going to- Anyway!” Jimin abruptly stops himself. “I should stop talking about it, hey? Like you’ve said to do multiple times.”

Jeongguk laughs at him, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Right. Anyway, it’s no big deal, right? Like Namjoon-hyung said. We can all forget this and move on.”

Jimin eyes him for a moment before he nods. “That sounds perfect.”

 

--

 

“Time to celebrate Jeongguk finally losing his virginity!”

Jeongguk grimaces as Jimin pulls Hoseok in through the door, mumbling something to him under his breath before Hoseok’s cheeks colour and he mutters, “Sorry.”

Namjoon sighs, loud and heavy. “Where’s that beer?”

“Fuck.”

Ten minutes later Hoseok returns, less shouting down the hallways, more alcohol tucked under his arm. He grins as he enters the room again, the other five already strewn over the floor.

Jimin leans back on his palms, legs crossed, smile wide. “We haven’t had a sleepover in so long.”

“Don’t call it that.” Yoongi grabs one of the bottles before Hoseok can put it down.

“The only other term appropriate for six guys spending the night together is an orgy. Is that what you’d prefer?”

Namjoon sits down next to Jeongguk, the younger’s knees tucked up to his chest. He’s too busy questioning all of his life decisions to notice, so he nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees his hyung’s hand coming down on top of one of his legs.

“Whoa!” Namjoon chuckles, bumping his shoulder against Jeongguk’s by way of steadying him. “You right there?”

“Sorry.” Jeongguk shakes his head. “Just drifting.”

Namjoon grabs a bottle of beer and hands it to Jeongguk.

“Don’t let them get to you.” He gestures to where their four friends are chattering back and forth. “They’re just excited for you.”

“I know.” Jeongguk rests his chin on his knees as he stares down at the bottle, rubbing his thumb over the condensation dripping down the neck.

“To them it might be a big deal. That doesn’t mean it has to be a big deal for you. But humour them, yeah? They’re just trying to have a little bit of fun.” Namjoon ruffles his hair one last time. Jeongguk smiles as he pushes him away.

An hour and many bottles of beer later, Jeongguk’s virginity, or his supposed lack thereof, is no longer the hot topic, or at least that’s what Jeongguk thinks. He is relieved, for a time, until the subject unfortunately resurfaces in a way that will completely change his life.

“Guys!” Hoseok is pulling something out from behind him. “I brought something cool.”

“Fuck no.” Seokjin stands, shaking his head. “No fucking way. Goodbye.”

“Chill out!” Hoseok grins as he puts the Ouija board box down on the ground and begins opening it.

“Haven’t you seen any horror movie ever? We’re all going to die if you- Stop opening it!”

“I have to agree with Seokjin-hyung.” Jimin eyes the box. “I can’t believe that you of all people aren’t afraid to use something like that.”

“I’m brave,” Hoseok says as though it’s not a complete lie, making everybody laugh. He ignores them and says, “It’s not real. It’s just something to mess around with. We’ll probably get bored in about five minutes but, why not, right?”

“I can give you some reasons.”

“I think it’ll be fun,” Jeongguk says, speaking up for the first time in an hour.

Seokjin glances down at him. Jeongguk watches him share a look with Yoongi before he sighs, then sits back down.

“Fine. Fine. When we die, I’ll be screaming I told you so, but fine.”

Hoseok happily sets up the board, briefly reads the instructions and then invites them all to put their fingers on the pointer.

“Spirits,” Hoseok says, voice melodic. Jeongguk snickers. “Is there anything you want to say to us?”

Nothing happens.

Of course nothing happens.

“This is boring.” Yoongi yawns, drawing his hand back.

“It probably didn’t work because you,” Jimin points at their straight-faced friend, “are a sceptic.”

“Or because it’s not real.”

“Come on.” Hoseok shakes the pointer around a bit. “Don’t you want to communicate with the dead? Or summon Jesus?”

“That- That’s not…” Namjoon lets go of the pointer to rub his temples.

“Maybe we can summon a succubus.” Jimin side-eyes Jeongguk. “Y’know, to give Jeongguk some tips.”

Jeongguk and Namjoon both shoot him sharp glares. It’s much too late for his apologetic glance.

“Oh! Great idea.” Hoseok clears his throat. He jerks the pointer, Jeongguk’s arm moving with it. “Spirits! Hear our request. Our friend needs to be laid more! He may have lost his virginity but he’s still inexperienced! Please send a hot demon to ravish him and to teach him how to be a master at sex! Amen.”

Jimin giggles, drunk and happy. Jeongguk’s cheeks glow red and rosy. Hoseok laughs loudly, twisting the pointer around in haphazard circles.

“I’m glad you’re too drunk to be serious.” Seokjin lets go of the pointer. “I’m too beautiful to die right now.”

“Come on,” Namjoon heaves himself up onto his knees. “Let’s go do something that's actually fun.”

Jeongguk looks up, eyes rounded. “Super Smash Brothers?”

“Yeah, Guk.” Namjoon smiles down at him, offering him a hand up. “Super Smash Brothers.”

 

--

 

Jeongguk doesn’t know how spirit magic or Ouija boards work. He assumes it takes something a lot more complicated than a drunk boy asking for a succubus to show up for it to actually happen. Something like cutting your hand and letting your blood drip onto the petals of a rare flower. Or saying something religious into a mirror while doing the Macarena.

That’s how he knows that it’s a prank.

“I’m going to kill Hoseok.” Jeongguk mutters to himself, ignoring the boy’s outstretched hand. “I’m going to kill all of them.”

“If you want help with murder, you’ve got the wrong type of demon.” The handsome boy, Kim Taehyung as he’d introduced himself a moment ago, smiles. He’s sitting on Jeongguk’s bed, all the nonchalance in the world as he crosses his legs and leans back. He’s dressed far too fancily for a two-minute prank, a sparkling red button up shirt and dark skinny jeans. They must’ve planned this out, Jeongguk realises, found this random guy and asked him to play the part.

“I don’t- Look, man.” Jeongguk turns to him. “You’re wasting your time. I’m not the best person to play pranks on. But, if you hide behind a door I’m sure you’ll be able to scare the shit out of Seokjin, or something. So, like, leave?”

“I can’t leave.” Taehyung tilts his head to the side, thick, ash grey hair flopping with his movements. “I haven’t fulfilled my duties.”

“And those are?”

“To provide the human applicant with sexual delight and prowess,” he says, with a straight face that Jeongguk is honestly impressed by. “Or ravish you and turn you into a sex master, to quote the actual request.”

“I don’t need ravishing, thank you.”

“But that’s not-”

“I don’t have time for this.” Jeongguk grabs the gym bag he’d forgotten to take with him earlier, the entire reason he’s back in the dorm by himself right now. “Sorry for not giving you the reaction you probably wanted. See ya.”

With that he leaves the rather perplexed, silver-haired boy behind.

 

--

 

“Dude!” Jeongguk actually does jump this time. “What the fuck?”

“Hello Jeongguk.” The boy sits up from where he was lying on his bed. “Did you enjoy your time at the gymnasium?”

“What the fuck are you doing in my room? It’s almost midnight. Piss off.”

“I cannot leave. I have not fulfilled my duties.”

“Jimin!”

“Wha-"

Jimin, who had fallen asleep on his desk, a sizeable trail of drool slivering down one of his cheeks, shoots up, bleary eyes widening as Jeongguk stomps into the room. He hits his knee on the bottom of the desk. In pain and half-awake, he gives Jeongguk a rather intense glare. “What the fuck? What’s your problem?”

“Don’t!” Jeongguk hisses. “Don’t act innocent. I’m tired. I want to go to bed. Get your friend to fuck off, will you?”

Jimin instantly looks considerably more awake, considerably more confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Taehyung. Get him off of my bed. It’s not even funny, Jimin. When are you going to drop this whole “losing my virginity” thing? It’s not that big of an event. I’m sick of the way everyone keeps bringing it up at every opportunity. You know that, so I'm not sure why you thought I would find this even remotely entertaining. Just… Get rid of him, please?”

Jimin stretches, a big yawn escaping his lips, making his, “I don’t know a Taehyung,” almost unintelligible.

“I’m two seconds away from being legitimately pissed off.”

“Jeongguk, I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

So Jeongguk grabs his arm, yanks him, drags him across the floor towards his room. Inside Taehyung is waiting on the bed. He’s laying down still, arms behind his head, looking very relaxed. He sits up, crossing his legs, when the two boys tumble into the room.

“Here. Taehyung, Jimin. Jimin, Taehyung. Now you know him. Can you please get him to fuck off?”

Jimin looks at Jeongguk carefully, brows crinkled.

“Jeongguk, are you okay?”

“No! Get rid of him. I asked him to leave but he said something stupid about fulfilling his duties.”

Jimin stares at him, head tilted. “Jeongguk…”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s rich voice makes him turn. He’s got a small smile on his face as he says, “He can’t see me.”

Jeongguk gapes at him. Not because he believes him, but because he can’t believe how far they’re taking this stupid joke. He’s just on the verge of tearing his hair out when Jimin turns to face him dead on.

“Listen, Guk. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I need to apologise to you. You’re right. I keep making a big deal out of you losing your virginity. I said I’d stop and I haven’t. I guess I just thought it was something special.” Jimin puts a hand up on his shoulder, gentle pats left behind when he pulls it back. “Of course, that’s how I saw my first time. But everyone is different, with different values. If you don’t see it as a big deal, or if you don’t want people talking about it, we should all respect that.” He bows his head, says in a low voice, “I’m really sorry.”

“This is really touching,” says the boy on his bed, hands held over his heart. Jeongguk wants to strangle him.

“It’s fine,” he answers in a clipped tone. “I don’t care anymore, I just want people to stop bringing it up.”

“I will. I promise, I will,” Jimin answers, rising back up.

“And stop with the stupid prank.” Jeongguk, some tension now relieved, cracks a smile, chuckling to himself. “Please. I have no idea what the joke was even meant to be. Is this about the Ouija board thing?” A light bulb illuminates his mind. “Oh, I get it! You guys thought it would be funny to pretend like an actual demon got summoned. Cute, but I’m not that dumb, Jiminie. I stopped believing in all of that stuff when I stopped believing in Santa Claus last year.”

Jimin’s own smile vanishes.

“Still got literally no clue what you’re talking about, Guk.” He gives an uneasy laugh. “Are you pranking me?”

“No!” Jeongguk frowns. “I just want this guy out of my room.”

“What guy?”

“That guy!” He gesticulates wildly over to his empty bed. “Right-”

He stops short as he does a double take, glancing back to the bed, now sans human.

“Oh.”

“Jeongguk.” Jimin’s hand is back on his shoulder, much more tentatively. “Are you okay?”

“There was… there was a boy.” Jeongguk spins in circles. His room is empty. The window is closed. They would’ve heard the closet door opening. Still Jeongguk checks it, but it too is empty.

Jimin watches him rifling around in his room. “I’m honestly a little concerned for your health, buddy.”

“I- I guess… I guess I imagined it.” He turns around to Jimin with wide eyes. “Was I dreaming, or something?”

Jimin just shrugs.

“I guess I was… That was… so weird.” He reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, cheeks warm. “Ignore me. I guess I was more stressed than I thought.”

“Okay.” Jimin bites his lip. “Do you want, like, a glass of water? Or a psychiatrist, or something?”

“I’m fine. I’m going to go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Jimin gives him one last look. “Tell me if you’re not feeling right, okay?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, Jiminie.”

Jimin leaves, closing the door behind him. Jeongguk sighs, casting one more glance at his empty bed. He sits down on it, tilts his head back.

“I told you,” a deep voice in his right ear has him yelping, jumping a foot off of the mattress, “he can’t see me.”

“What the fuck?” He scrambles back on the bed. “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”

“Hell. I flew.”

“What-”

“Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin bursts back into the room. “I heard you yelling. Are you okay?”

Jeongguk’s gaze travels from the amused boy to his right up to his concerned friend, whose eyes don’t stray from Jeongguk even once.

“I’m… fine. I just thought I saw a spider.”

“Oh.” Jimin relaxes, but only a little. “How big was it? Do we need to burn the dorm down?”

“No. It was just a piece of fluff. I’m fine. Go to bed, Jimin.”

Jimin nods once and then closes his door.

“Okay,” he rounds on the definitely-evil-but-definitely-not-a-demon-because-if-Santa-isn’t-real-then-there’s-no-way-demons-are-real-either sitting next to him, “what the fuck are you? What do you want? Why can’t Jimin see you?”

The boy laughs, crossing his legs on his mattress. Jeongguk feels like telling him to fuck off of his bed, but refrains. He wants answers first.

“Do you always ask numerous questions at once?”

“Answer them and I’ll tell you.”

“I’m an incubus. I want to fulfil my duties so that I can return home. Your friend cannot see me because humans cannot see beings from other realms unless they have specific business with them.” Jeongguk watches the boy lifting his large hand, ticking off a slender finger with each answer.

“I don’t believe you.” He squints at the potentially insane not-demon sitting next to him. Taking a moment to look him over properly, he deduces that he has certainly never seen him around. He would remember a face like his. Not because he thinks it is an attractive face. Jeongguk is straight. He can objectively acknowledge that the boy is very pretty to look at, but only for people who are attracted to men. Which Jeongguk is not. Because he’s straight.

“If you don’t believe in demons why did you summon me?”

“I didn’t summon you.”

“Yes, you did. We received a request for one Jeon Jeongguk to be taught how to improve his sexual skills and to be ravished. I was deemed the most suitable demon for the summons and here I am.” The boy looks both perplexed and amused as he finishes spouting his bullshit. He bites at his lip for a moment, frowning. “I usually don’t need to explain this. Most humans remember making their request.”

“Hoseok said that, not me.”

“It matters not. I must fulfil the request.”

“Is Hoseok the one that put you up to this?”

The boy tilts his head. “Is that not what you just said? That this Hoseok was the one who made the request?”

“No, like-” Jeongguk groans in the back of his throat. “He’s the one who organised this prank.”

“I do not know of any pranks. I wouldn’t mind being involved though. I love pranks.” His eyes sparkle brightly. They’re beautiful. A dark brown framed by the loveliest diamond-shaped eyes. Harsh brows that give his otherwise placid demeanour a fierce edge. He’s gorgeous, all in all.

Objectively speaking, that is.

Jeongguk decides that he’ll have to humour this boy if he wants to get any further on his quest to get him the fuck out of his room, so he sighs and says, “Fine. It’s real. You’re a demon. Why are you male? Hoseok asked for a succubus.”

“Incorrect,” the boy responds. “The requester did not ask for a specific kind of demon. We analysed the client and determined that the best option would be to send an incubus.”

“But- I’m not- I’m not gay!” Jeongguk splutters, pushing back further along the bed, putting as much space between himself and this clinically insane person as he can.

“Incorrect.” The boy rebuts. “You are at least 79 percent homosexual, according to my readings.”

“I- what-”

“I just screened you again, it seems that your reading has increased to 83.”

“No, that’s not-”

“Just admit that you like dick, Jeongguk.”

He gapes, squeaking. Taehyung laughs, tipping his head back. His throat shifts as he does, a beautiful expanse of skin over a thick neck, a throat column that looks so completely kissable, and-

Okay, fine. Jeongguk will admit that he might be slightly bi-curious, or something. So what? He's in college. Everyone goes through a phase like this.

Still, it’s 10 percent at best.

“I can already tell that I’m going to enjoy this.”

“Why are you- you were just speaking so-”

“Formally?” The boy supplies. He leans back on his hands. “I just like fucking with people. It’s always great seeing humans' reactions. You’re so very expressive.”

Jeongguk simmers, nearing the end of his rope. He's wondering if he should just get up and call the police, or something. Anything to get this guy away from him.

“How is it appropriate to send me an incubus? Aren’t incubus-es-”

“Incubi.”

“Incu-busses. Aren’t they supposed to, like, rape women in their sleep, or something?”

Taehyung scowls.

“Where’d you get that from: Wikipedia? I’m not going to rape anybody." He tuts, shaking his head. "And we aren’t all straight. C’mon, we literally live in Hell. 99% percent of us are gay down there. Also, women? No thank you. Pussy isn’t my thing.”

Despite himself, Jeongguk feels a blush coming on. He turns his head. “Well, it is my thing. So, can you like, go away now please?”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s voice is close to his ear. “How would you know if you haven’t tried yet?”

Jeongguk turns. Taehyung’s face is right there. He has a mole on the tip of his nose. One on his bottom lip too. Fuck, his lips are really thick. Holy shit, what the hell? Does this guy to that stupid Kylie Jenner challenge every morning? And why does his skin look like it is sparkling? Is he wearing makeup or is this his natural look? He's literally perfect.

“I’m not gay. Also, I don’t want an incubus to ravish me, or whatever.” He puts a hand on Taehyung’s collarbone and pushes him away. “So, can you please leave? Please?”

“I cannot leave until I have fulfilled my duties.”

“Oh my god.” Jeongguk tips his head back. “I just want to sleep. Go away.”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s fingers wrap around his wrist, drawing his attention. “I’m not joking around. I really can’t leave. I’m bound to you until I have done what I came here to do. Until I do, I’m stuck here on earth.”

Jeongguk gapes at him. “Stuck here, as in…?”

“As in I cannot leave,” Taehyung replies soberly.

“But- I don’t want to have sex! I don’t want this!”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side. “Then why did you ask for it.”

“I didn’t. Hoseok did!”

Taehyung hums. His sheer maroon shirt falls around his collarbones, exposing flawlessly smooth skin. “Regardless of whether or not you executed the summon, the request cannot be indulged unless the client consents to it. So, you must want it.”

“No!” Jeongguk pushes his hand off of him, only now realising it is still pressed to the skin of his wrist. “I don’t want to have sex. I don’t want to be better at it! I just want you to leave.”

“I mean, I know you’re lying about at least two of those three things.” Taehyung pushes back so he’s sitting against the wall. “I’m an incubus. I have a sense for these kinds of things.”

“Well your senses are wrong. How could I want to be better at sex when I’ve never even had it in the first place?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen. He pauses, chest stilling as he sucks in a breath. “You’re a virgin?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk pushes out through his teeth. “Shouldn’t you have known that? Since you ‘have a sense for these things’?”

“Shit,” he mutters. “That complicates things.”

Jeongguk wants to ask how. But then he remembers that this entire thing is bullshit and that he is exhausted and that he just wants to sleep and forget that any of this ever happened.

“Look,” he starts, “it’s almost one in the morning. I need to be up at six for gym. At this point, I couldn’t care less whether you’re here or not. Just get off of my bed and let me sleep. Please.”

Taehyung pouts even as he moves off of the bed, compliant. “You’re going to make me sleep on the floor?”

“You’re a demon, aren’t you?” Jeongguk says sardonically. “You don’t need to sleep.”

“Wha- Of course I do. What’s wrong with you? Don’t believe everything you read on the internet, Jeongguk-ssi.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk mutters, crawling under his sheets. Taehyung doesn’t say anything further as Jeongguk flicks his lamplight off and lets his head fall onto his pillow.

 

--

 

When he wakes up he thinks, for one blissful moment, that he is thirteen years old again, humping his pillow in his sleep, coming in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle boxers, images of hot bikini models drifting through his mind.

Oh, how he wishes. Back then things were so simple. He was definitely straight - not that he isn't now - and it was socially acceptable that he was a virgin.

Unfortunately, when he opens his eyes he realises that he is still twenty-two and he just had his first wet dream in eight years. The uncomfortable, sticky coldness in his briefs, the shame as he feels his erection dissipating, the confusion as he tries to remember what he was dreaming about only to draw a blank.

“Sorry about that,” comes a voice to his right. He looks up in the darkness, barely making out the silhouette of Taehyung, cross-legged on the floor. Eyes shining with amusement when Jeongguk flicks a lamp on.

“What- what the fuck?” He hisses, grabbing his pillow, covering his soaked underwear from view. Cursing himself for wearing light grey, he says, “Dude, why are you still here? Get out!”

“I cannot leave until I have fulfilled my duties,” the other drones, sitting up on his knees. “So, until that happens, you better get used to that.”

Jeongguk follows his gaze down to his hidden crotch.

“What are you talking about?” He mumbles, cheeks warm.

“I’m an incubus. I have a strong sexual aura. You are likely to experience a heightening in your own sexual aura due to being in my presence for prolonged periods of time. This is likely your body's reaction to the shock of my presence. It should pass eventually. Maybe.”

“Okay, well can you please, like, go away so that I can deal with this?” Jeongguk says, trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his face feels like it’s on fire.

“I cannot leave until I ha-”

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Jeongguk shoves his hands over his ears. “I get it! Can you please just turn around or something?”

The boy snickers as he complies. Jeongguk decides that he hates him.

When he has sufficiently cleaned up, donned some clothes, and waited for his cheeks to un-flush, he grunts. Taehyung seems to recognise it as permission to turn around, so he does. Jeongguk doesn’t miss the sparkle of amusement in his eyes and he scowls.

“So, last night when I was lying on the floor trying to fall asleep for four hours,” Taehyung starts, a sharpness in his words that Jeongguk refuses to acknowledge, “I was thinking. If you’re a virgin, why did your friend make the request for you to get better at sex? Why did your cute friend from last night talk about you losing your virginity?”

Jeongguk ducks down under his bed, pulling his gym bag out from underneath it.

“Because I lied to them.”

“Lied to them about having sex for the first time?”

“Mm,” he hums as he grabs his sneakers and pulls them onto his bare feet.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because,” he starts lacing them up loosely, “everyone kept pressuring me all of the time. Making fun of me for being a virgin and telling me that I had to go and get laid as soon as possible and I just- I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“They don’t sound like very good friends,” Taehyung observes as Jeongguk stands, slinging his bag onto his shoulder.

“They are good friends. They’re just really open with each other about that sort of thing and I guess I’m not.”

“Did you try, you know, telling them that?” Taehyung follows him to the door. “Telling them that you were uncomfortable?”

“No,” he admits. “I didn’t really think it through, okay? I definitely wouldn’t have lied to them if I knew it was going to lead to a supposed sex demon harassing me.”

Taehyung grins at him, baring gleaming teeth and unnervingly sharp canines.

“What are you doing now?”

Jeongguk groans, one hand on the doorknob.

“I’m going to the gym. You can feel free to disappear while I’m gone.”

“I cannot leave, I-”

“Oh my god, okay! I get it.” Jeongguk thinks he sees Taehyung sniggering out of the corner of his eye when he pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can just chill here, or whatever. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Can I come with you? It’s boring in your room. You have no sex toys.” Jeongguk splutters, turning his reddened face away. Taehyung laughs softly, stepping closer. Jeongguk sees his hand coming toward him in his peripheral vision, feels his finger poking his cheek. “You’re so innocent,” he says in a gentle tone.

“I’m not,” he shoves his hand away, “innocent. I’m just not a pervert.”

With that he wrenches the door open, stepping out into the lounge.

“I don’t understand,” Taehyung muses as he follows close behind him. “Didn’t you go the gym last night? Why are you going again?”

“Because I go every day. Every day except for Sunday.”

“Wow, why do you hate yourself?”

“Actually, it’s because I-”

“Who are you talking to?”

Jeongguk falters in front of one of the couches. Yoongi is standing in the kitchen, one hand holding a bottle of orange juice, the other hand rubbing down his tired face.

“No one,” Jeongguk mutters. He squints at his hyung, trying to detect a fault in his acting, but the other is impressively straight-faced.

“Hey,” Yoongi puts the open bottle down. Some of the liquid sloshes over onto the bench. That will go uncleaned, along with all of the other various food spills, until the next time Jeongguk finds himself in there, no doubt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Yoongi-hyung. Why?”

“You seem not fine.” Yoongi shrugs. “I feel like the guys have maybe taken this whole you losing your virginity thing a bit too far.”

Jeongguk purses his lips. “I know, hyung, but really, I just want to stop talking about it. Forever.”

“You know,” Yoongi taps his fingers on the bench, “you don’t need to lie to us.”

Jeongguk stiffens, gym bag swinging on his shoulder. “What?”

“I mean, it’s not my business. Or anyone’s but yours. But if you feel uncomfortable about this whole situation, you don’t need to make anything up to get us to stop talking about it. You could just ask us to back off.”

He feels something poking his ribs.

“Told you,” Taehyung whispers in his ear.

“I- I’m not making anything up,” he insists. “I really did have- you know…”

Yoongi smiles at him.

“If you say so. I was just making sure that you knew.” He pulls a face as he turns back to his breakfast drink. “Sex isn’t even that great anyway. I’m not sure why everyone makes a big deal about it. Unless your partner is a literal sex god, it’s not going to be all it’s cracked up to be, so don’t get your expectations up.”

“Right,” Jeongguk grunts, ignoring Taehyung snickering behind him. “Anyway, I’m going to-”

“Yeah, yeah. Go make the rest of us even more self-conscious about our flabby bodies.” Yoongi grins at him over the top of the bottle of orange juice.

“You’re right. It sounds like you have nice friends,” Taehyung perceives as the door closes behind them.

“I do,” Jeongguk admits with a smile. Taehyung emits a loud ‘aww’ and throws his arms over Jeongguk’s shoulders, linking his hands together and clinging onto him until Jeongguk shakes him off with a surprised yelp. “Don’t touch me!”

“Geez,” the silver-haired boy utters, sounding offended. “To think I’m supposed to have sex with you.”

“I’m not going to have sex with you,” Jeongguk hisses, keeping his voice as quiet as possible as they walk through the dorm hallways. If anyone sees him talking to himself, he’s definitely going to be dubbed as that one crazy guy for the rest of his college life. He’s still not entirely convinced that this isn’t an extremely elaborate prank, anyway. Maybe Yoongi really was just pretending that he couldn’t see Taehyung. If that’s the case, Jeongguk will have to remember to compliment his hyung on his improved acting skills.

“That’s a shame.” Taehyung drawls as he matches Jeongguk’s pace, keeping beside him but thankfully a foot away from him. “I guess I’m going to be stuck on earth for the rest of my life. Or at least, your life. I’m going to miss my family.”

“You have a family?” Jeongguk frowns at him, a twinge of guilt in his belly.

“Nah,” he admits with a sideways grin, “just messing with you.”

He turns away with a scowl. Reminds himself that this guy is a demon – supposedly – and is in general not a good person.

For the first fifteen minutes after he changes into his work-out clothes, Jeongguk actually enjoys himself at the gym. It’s the one place that feels normal. Peaceful. As he warms himself up, getting his blood flowing on the exercise bike, he is surprised that he goes undisturbed. At one point he forgets altogether that his life has taken a bizarre turn. He looks over his shoulder when he finishes warming up, only to see no demon hovering by him. For a moment, as he heads over to the barbells and sets up his preferred weight, he wonders if he was imagining the whole thing. Maybe it’s still the previous night and he’s going to go home to find Jimin complaining that he didn’t give a good reaction to their dumb prank. Maybe he was hallucinating the whole time and a good workout session will relieve him of whatever tension is obviously plaguing him.

As he takes the bar off of the support and begins his first squat, the familiar burn that he loves working its way up along his core and through his thighs, he feels a pair of eyes on him. It’s not completely unusual for people to watch him working out, it being one of the few things he considers himself proficient at, but this gaze feels particularly…

…intense.

He looks up just as he reaches the bottom of his squat, shorts ridden up tight around his thighs. Taehyung is lying on the bench in front of him. On his stomach, legs bent at the knees, feet swinging back and forth. Head propped up on his chin as he stares quite unashamedly at Jeongguk’s legs.

“Do you mind?” He snaps, words shaking under the strain.

“No, thank you.” Taehyung doesn’t blink as he watches him standing back up, shorts pulled tight across his crotch. Jeongguk, with an unfortunately flushed neck, puts the bar back on its supports and glares at his demonic acquaintance.

“Stop staring at me.”

“But you’re so hot.”

Jeongguk clears his throat as he turns around. “Whatever. Can you go amuse yourself doing something else? You’re making me uncomfortable and I want to do my workout in peace.”

There is an elongated groan from behind him.

“Fine.” The bench scrapes as he stands himself up. “But I’ll get so bored. What am I supposed to do?”

Jeongguk is about to say leave, but if he hears Taehyung’s “fulfil my duties” phrase one more time he might just punch him in the face.

“I don’t know. Work out?”

“I’d rather not,” Taehyung says as he scrunches his nose up at some dumbbells on a nearby rack. “You humans are so gross. You get all sweaty if you do work out and all flabby if you don’t. Thank god for my unnatural metabolism that keeps me fit.” He lifts his shirt, revealing a set of abs that makes Jeongguk pull his shirt down further. “Being a demon is just so nice.”

“Cool,” Jeongguk mutters with a sharp eyeroll before standing back and grabbing the bar again. He waits until Taehyung walks off before he starts his squats once more, closing his eyes and concentrating.

Not too many minutes later he is enjoying himself again, finally getting stuck into his routine. A mind-numbing set of movements that allow him to zone out and not think.

Then he hears the thud and the scream.

He shoots up from his plank, wrenched from his zen. His eyes flicker around the gym until he sees the group of people gathered around one corner. He jogs over, heart in his throat, nearly choking on it when he spots what the commotion is about.

For a moment he thinks that everyone is worried about the same thing as he is. He wonders why no one is doing anything to help as shoots to the front of the crowd, working on instinct.

“Move,” he snaps to one girl who’s standing there with her hands over her heart. She turns to glare at him.

“What’s your problem?”

“Can’t you see he needs help?” He hisses, lunging for Taehyung who is writhing on the bench, bar pressed to his neck. “Idiot,” he mutters as he quickly stands above the bar, pulling it up.

Taehyung gasps for air, hands flying up to his throat as Jeongguk steadily moves it back to its support.

“Why are you all just standing there?” Jeongguk snaps to the small crowd with a bravery he normally doesn’t possess. His head is light, heart racing now that it has settled back in his chest.

“Hey, chill out.” Some guy who looks very much like a dude-bro steps forward. “It’s just gym equipment.”

“Yeah,” agrees the girl with her hand over her heart. “It just gave me a fright, is all. It fell off out of nowhere. All I did was sit on the bench and then the weight just fell. Scared the hell out of me.”

Jeongguk stares at the crowd. They stare right back at him.

His regular shyness returns in full force, a tidal wave of awkwardness that has his cheeks blaring hot.

“Right,” he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck. He glances down at Taehyung. Now sat up on the bench, he rubs at his throat with a sheepish expression. His skin is a normal complexion, unmarred where it should be red and bruising.

Jeongguk, for the first time in six months, quits his work-out without doing a cool down. Too mortified to meet anyone’s eyes, he strides over to his locker, grabs his bag and heads straight for the change room.

No one else is in there at the time, which is a relief because Taehyung follows him in.

“Hey,” he starts, “I’m really sorry about that.”

“Were you trying to embarrass me on purpose?” Jeongguk spits, yanking his clothes out of his bag and throwing them onto the bench.

“No, of course not. I just wanted to lift some weights but that girl sat on me and took me by surprise.” He laughs while Jeongguk starts ripping his shirt off. “I just… Uh…”

“Are you an idiot? You know you can die when that happens right?” He pulls his shorts down in one jerking movement. “And I just freaked out in front everyone and now they think I’m crazy because apparently I’m the only person that can see you.”

A hand on his shoulder pulls him to face Taehyung who is wearing a solemn expression. He reaches up to clasp the other shoulder, as he says, “Jeongguk, calm down. You’re literally rage-stripping right now.”

Jeongguk pauses, realises that his fingers are indeed poised at the waistband of his briefs. He quickly shrugs Taehyung’s hands off of him, turning his back to him so that he can pull his clean clothes on.

“Listen, Jeongguk.” Taehyung sits down on the bench next to his bag. “I’m really sorry that happened. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you, I promise. You don’t need to worry about me, though I’m touched that you did. I’m immortal. I wouldn’t have been hurt.” When Jeongguk scoffs, he reaches out and tugs on his wrist. “It still wasn’t pleasant though. I’m glad that you helped me. Thank you.”

Jeongguk glances from Taehyung’s wide, sincere eyes, back to his gym bag. He breathes out, shoulders sagging, head drooping. In a quiet voice he asks, “Is it really real?”

Taehyung doesn’t answer immediately.

“They really couldn’t see you. I thought that maybe…”

“It’s really real, Jeongguk,” he responds after a moment. When Jeongguk glances over to him he sends him a soft smile, pink lips smooth and full. “I promise.”

Jeongguk nods as he shudders a breath.

“Okay,” he whispers.

 

--

 

Back at the dorm, Jeongguk is rather quiet. It’s not abnormal for him to be, especially when his hyungs are all busy with study. Still, Taehyung seems to notice that he’s quieter than usual, despite not knowing him. He doesn’t talk a lot, giving him space. Jeongguk is grateful, even though it unsettles him more than when Taehyung chatted the whole time.

A few hours of him sitting in his room and swiping at his phone pass. He eventually sits up and, after a moment’s consideration, inelegantly announces, “I need to go to class.”

Taehyung sits up from where he was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

“Right,” he says, sounding a lot less sure of himself than he did the night before. Jeongguk supposes that he has thrown the incubus off of his guard, with his blatant refusal to go along with however this thing usually works.

“Are you going to…” Jeongguk’s eyes trail from him to the door.

Taehyung winces.

“I’m good. I’ll stay here. You go.”

“Are you sure?” Jeongguk says with no enthusiasm in his voice. Honestly, he’d love if he could be separate from the demon for a little bit of time. He needs a moment to himself to think. “Won’t you get bored?”

“Nah, I’ve been around for thousands of years.” Taehyung waves a dismissive hand in the air. “I’ve learnt how to entertain myself.”

Jeongguk purses his lips as he recalls what happened when Taehyung got bored at the gym, but the man only grins. Jeongguk sighs as he walks over to his desk.

The demon has taken to staring down at his twiddling thumbs when Jeongguk shoves something under his nose, making him jump.

“What-”

“It’s my laptop. You can entertain yourself with the internet while I’m gone.” When Taehyung looks up at him with large, shining eyes, he jiggles the laptop, looking away. “Well? Do you want it or not?”

“Thank you, Jeongguk.” Taehyung giggles as he pulls the laptop towards him. He has a boyish expression adorning his features. It makes him a lot less intimidating. “I’ve never used the internet before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. There’s no use for stuff like that in Hell. We’re working all of the time.” His eyes reflect the blue of the laptop home screen as he stares at it. “I don’t even know how to use this thing.”

Jeongguk ends up being ten minutes late for his lecture, but he thinks it may have been worth it. Taehyung seemed to shed some sort of layer that Jeongguk wasn’t aware he had on as he opened up YouTube and showed him how to work it.

When he returns two hours later, Jimin and Yoongi are in the kitchen talking.

“Hey Guk,” Jimin greets, “you left your laptop on, you know.”

“Oh,” he answers.

“I turned it off for you.”

“How long ago?”

“Like twenty minutes ago. I don’t know.” Jimin turns so that he can frown at him as he continues to walk by. “I did you a favour, you brat. I could’ve gone through your porn history, but I helped you save the environment instead. Where is my thanks?”

“Thanks, Jimin-ssi.”

He hears a growl from behind him as he closes the door to his room.  

Taehyung is sitting on the bed cross-legged. Jeongguk dumps his bag at the door before walking over to him.

“Jeongguk-ah!” Taehyung perks up the moment he sees him, greeting him with an excited tone. “That was amazing.”

“What was?” He asks as he comes to sit on the end of the bed.

“This!” Taehyung takes a deep breath before he pulls Jeongguk’s laptop out from next to him. “I never knew that the internet was so much fun. There are so many videos. I could’ve watched that for hours but your friend came and turned it off and I didn’t know the password to get back in.”

“It’s...” Jeongguk pauses when he remembers that he’s still got the same password he’s been using since he first got the laptop (b00b1e5!). “Actually, I’ll just make a new one for you. Anyway, that’s good. I guess we’ve found what you’re going to do for the rest of your life while you’re stuck here.”

He’s joking, but Taehyung’s smile falls. He pushes the laptop aside.

“Actually, Jeongguk, we need to talk about that.” The gleam melts away from his eyes, leaving something dark and serious. “Jeongguk, I’m here for a reason. I know you don’t want to hear it, but: if you want to be rid of me, you’re going to need to allow me to fulfil my duties.”

Jeongguk pouts as he sits back on the heels of his palms.

“Isn’t there some sort of complaint system, or something? Some hotline I can call so that I can tell Satan that I don’t need your service? That there was a mistake with the request?”

Taehyung laughs, covering his mouth as he squeaks. Jeongguk finds himself laughing too, despite everything. Seeing Taehyung’s more humane side today has made him feel a lot more positive towards him, he supposes.

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. But even if it did, Jeongguk, are you really going to tell me that you don’t want this?”

“What do you mean?” He frowns. “I don’t.”

“Jeongguk, I know your friend was making some dumb joke, but just think for a minute. He requested two things, correct? One,” he raises a finger, “for you to be ravished, and two,” another finger, “for you to learn how to be a better partner in bed. Are you going to tell me that you don’t want either of those things?”

Jeongguk opens his mouth to protest but aborts the words halfway. He groans, tipping his head back.

“Fine, I guess I do. Who wouldn’t want that? Everyone wants to be good in bed and everyone wants good sex. But I don’t want that with a demon.” He pauses, then, “No offence.”

"I understand,” Taehyung responds, “I do. But the point is that when your friend made that request, you wanted it. You just didn’t think it would actually happen, I suppose. But now it has happened. So, what do you want to do?”

“I- I don’t…” He shifts on the bed, feels like there’s a spotlight shining on him as he discusses his sex life so blatantly with what is practically a perfect stranger. He sits up, eyes down on his knees.

“Jeongguk?”

“I always wanted…” he swallows, clears his throat, “I always wanted my first time to be with someone special. I don’t really- I would never have asked for this,” he gestures over at Taehyung half-heartedly, “because I don’t want some meaningless fling.”

Taehyung makes a squeaky noise before he shuffles over the bed, throwing his arms around his shoulders. “That’s so sweet. You’re secretly a romantic!”

“Get off of me,” he cries, embarrassment warm in his cheeks. “I’m not- Get off.”

Taehyung laughs as he obliges, moving to sit beside him. He reaches down to pat his knee.

“I understand, Jeongguk. I think it's really admirable for you to stick to your values. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He takes a deep breath as he moves his hand back down to the mattress. “It’s just that…”

Jeongguk waits while Taehyung trails off, looking off to the side somewhere.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Taehyung answers, perking up. “I’m just not sure what will happen. I don’t think we’re allowed to slack off. We get a lot of job requests, you know. They’re going to need me back on the force at some point.”

Jeongguk snorts, relaxing as Taehyung does. “You make it sound like you’re doing something actually important.”

“Hey,” Taehyung elbows him lightly, “sex is important. Good sex makes life better.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Why are you being snarky?”

“I’m just saying. There are more important things in life.”

“Oh, and you’d know, virgin?”

Jeongguk dips his head.

“Asshole,” he mutters. Taehyung laughs.

“Come on. Open your laptop so I can watch some more videos. I was in the middle of exploring K-pop and holy shit, I was getting invested.”

Chapter Text

There are faint touches - the feather-light tips of somebody's fingers, the tantalising scratching of their trimmed nails. They run down his chest, snaking over his back, tracing up along his thighs. Teasing, barely there, too much and too intense. Hot, cold, almost, not enough, more.

Jeongguk wakes up with a gasp, hips grinding down onto the bed out of pure instinct, muffled moan into the pillow as he comes.

He lays there, panting, overwhelmed, trying to chase his dream as it disappears from his working memory.

The sound of a throat being cleared.

“Sorry.”

Jeongguk groans and turns to face the wall.

“I did tell you to get used to it.” He can practically hear him as he shrugs, the shifting of the sheer maroon fabric of his shirt over his shoulders.

“Just-” He stops when his voice comes out rough, heady. Far too sexual for six in the morning. He coughs. “Stop talking.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung whispers around a giggle.

Jeongguk groans again, mortified. He probably shouldn’t be since this is a sex demon and he’s probably used to this sort of thing. Or at least, Jeongguk hopes he is, which begs the question:

“Does this always happen?”

“What?”

“Does this-”

“I can’t hear you when you’re talking into the wall like that.” Taehyung’s voice gets louder as he draws nearer. “Roll over.”

“No,” he snaps, stubbornly pulling the sheets further over his body. He’s not going to face Taehyung when he’s got fresh cum in his underwear, sex demon or not.

“Come on, just-”

“Is this really a normal thing?” He shouts into the plaster. “Is this really going to happen every single day?”

Taehyung gives up on pestering him, sighing and, with a loud thump, falling to the ground to sit. Jeongguk feels the sheets pull as he leans against the bed.

“I don’t really know. This is sort of an unprecedented situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this has never happened before. Not that I know of. Most of the time when I get a request, the person was aware that they were making it. Even if they didn’t believe it would really happen, they knew what they wanted. So, when I show up, it usually doesn’t take more than a day to fulfil my duties before I disappear from their lives.”

Jeongguk finally rolls over now that he's sure Taehyung won't look at him directly, wincing as the cooling substance presses into his skin. “Wait. What kind of requests do you normally get?”

“They’re usually pretty similar. Not much different from yours, really.” Taehyung leans his head back on the mattress, upside-down eyes meeting Jeongguk’s. “Usually people want some sort of wild erotic experience. Some people want to learn things, like you. Some people just want some liberty. I guess they hear about how incubi and succubi are supposed to corrupt humans in their sleep and decide that wilful corruption will set them free somehow. Beats me. I just follow the request.”  

“So, you don’t corrupt people in their sleep?”

“No!” He looks indignant, brows forming a prominent V. The dim light that the small window allows into the room shadows in the creases of his forehead. “I don’t know where people got the idea that we rape people in their sleep from in the first place."

"Probably from religious whackos."

“Probably. Irrespective, we can’t just come to earth for no reason. We have to be called here on a request.”

“That is… so weird.” Jeongguk lets his head fall onto the pillow, watching the dust puffing up to float through the rays of sunlight. “This is so weird.”

Taehyung hums an agreement.

“Are you really going be stuck here forever if we don’t... you know, do anything?”

Taehyung hesitates for a moment, eyes drifting up to the ceiling. He slowly answers, “I’m not sure, to be honest with you, Jeongguk. This has never happened to me before.” He turns on the floor so that he’s facing Jeongguk, giving him a broad grin. His teeth shine white, perfectly straight in-between his succulent pink lips. Jeongguk can't help but glance at his sharp canines. They resemble fangs that you might expect to find on a Twilight-esque vampire. Long enough to be creepy, not long enough to be a turn-off. Not that they're a turn-on. Jeongguk isn't really into that sort of thing. Or men, in general. Especially not captivatingly beautiful men like Taehyung, because Jeongguk is straight. The straightest of all of the straight guys and that why he's definitely not staring at Taehyung's mouth as he says, “It’s sort of exciting though. To tell you the truth, I was getting kind of bored of doing the same thing over and over. This is different; like a mystery!”

Jeongguk huffs into his pillow. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“Don’t be rude. You’ll see that I make a wonderful companion.” He gets up from the floor, watching as Jeongguk slowly sits up, careful to keep the blankets over his body. “Are we going to the gym again today?”

I am, yes,” Jeongguk emphasises. “You’re going to stay here and watch YouTube.”

Taehyung’s face falls.

“Oh.” 

“I thought you enjoyed that.” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at his disheartened reaction. After his embarrassment this morning, he’s keen to be away from Taehyung for a little while. Just so that he can breathe, just for a little while. Being around him makes him feel strange - tense, like he's constantly two steps away from the edge of a sheer cliffside - and he's not entirely sure why.

“No, no,” Taehyung quickly pastes a smile on his face that Jeongguk isn’t entirely convinced by. “That’s fine. I want to keep watching cat videos. There are just so many.”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes crinkling.

“Be my guest.”

Taehyung smiles, then tilting his head to the side, says, "You have such cute bed hair."

Jeongguk's hand flies up to his hair, quickly ruffling his dark and undoubtedly unruly locks while turning his head away.

"Shut up."

"It was just a compliment."

Silence. Taehyung rocks on his heels staring at Jeongguk, who shifts in place.

“Taehyung… Can you like…”

“Oh right! I forgot that you made a mess," he ignores Jeongguk's scowl, laughing as he turns around. "You're so self-conscious."

“I’m not self-conscious,” he mutters as he finally stands up, peeling his wet briefs from his body with relief.

“Oh, you’re not?” Taehyung speaks, tone lilting. “So, you won’t mind if I turn around then?”

He starts twisting, slowly, but Jeongguk still yelps and grabs for the nearest item he can find to cover his naked crotch.

“Don’t!”

Taehyung laughs as he turns back around again.

“So cute,” he murmurs.

“Shut up, dickhead,” Jeongguk curses, cheeks warm and chest tight.

“You have no reason to be self-conscious. From what I saw at the gym yesterday, you have a lovely body, Jeongguk.”

Another compliment. Somehow it makes his whole body overheat with embarrassment as he pulls some clothes on. Taehyung can’t see him wrinkling his nose, but Jeongguk still hears him chuckling to himself anyway.

 

--

 

Just as he thought, being away from Taehyung gives him a sense of peace that he hadn't realised he’d lost over the last two days. He felt it in his class yesterday and he feels it now as he runs through his workout.

He vaguely remembers Taehyung mentioning that he has a strong sexual aura. It makes him snort even thinking of it, but a part of him – the same part that has been questioning his entire reality for the last forty-eight hours or so because maybe Santa is real after all – is wondering if maybe he is affected by such a thing. It’s not noticeable while he’s around him (aside from the wet dreams that he is trying hard to ignore), but it becomes apparent once he’s away, once the feeling leaves.

To put it crudely, he's been feeling sort of horny lately. More than usual. Aside from the dreams, Jeongguk has had no chance to jerk off, what with Taehyung being around him 24/7, and that's what he'd been blaming it on. But now he wonders if perhaps being around Taehyung in general is doing something strange to him. It's like he can't keep his mind in check when he's with him, scrambling his brain. Why else would he be getting turned on just from looking at Taehyung's teeth? Or the mole he has on his cheek? It has to be his aura, it just has to be.

He’s going to ask Taehyung about this when he gets back to the dorm a few hours later but he’s immediately side-tracked when he walks into his own room.

“Taehyung-ssi?”

“You can… call me, hyung…” Taehyung groans out from where he’s lying on the floor.

“Are you… okay?”

“No,” he mutters. He takes a heaving breath in, skin pallid. “Just- give me a minute.”

Jeongguk does, though he watches suspiciously, brows tightly knitted, as Taehyung continues his heavy breathing. He’s strewn across the carpet like a starfish, skin glistening with sweat like he has just run a marathon. Jeongguk feels a little rude as he walks over to his bed and puts his things away. Shouldn't he do something to help? Do demons need CPR?

After a few minutes of Jeongguk thinking he should do something but being too embarrassed to, Taehyung seems to have returned to his usual colour and he groans as he moves.

"So… what was that about?” Jeongguk asks once the demon sits up. He keeps his tone even, nonchalant. He doesn't want Taehyung to think that Jeongguk actually cares about him, because he doesn't.

“You’re not going to like it,” Taehyung preludes, voice somewhat shaky.

“Just tell me, Taehyung.”

“You remember how I said that I was bound to you?”

Jeongguk does indeed remember that and he can already see where this is going.

“You’re kidding.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not.” Taehyung laughs quietly before saying, “Like I told you yesterday, this has never happened before. I think the longest it took me to fulfil someone’s request was three days. Maximum." He reaches up to push his silver locks back, revealing his smooth, unblemished forehead. Jeongguk pulls his eyes away from the movement to meet Taehyung’s perturbed gaze. “I’ve never gone this long without fulfilling my duties before so I didn’t really know this myself, but I think I sort of need to stay near you.”

“That’s…”

“I swear, I’m not making this up. Trust me, as cute as you are, I’m not exactly into the idea myself.” Jeongguk turns his gaze away, knocking his knees together. Taehyung continues, “I guess that when you’re away, it seems as though I’m purposefully avoiding my duties. Which, of course, is a big no-no for an incubus. I’m supposed to get in and get out, so to speak.”

“But you don’t have to- we don’t have to…”

Taehyung hesitates, causing nausea to bubble in Jeongguk’s stomach. Then he softly says, “No, Jeongguk, we don’t have to do anything. Not yet, anyway. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be apart. Not for too long.”

“How long?” Jeongguk asks, meeting gazes with Taehyung once more.

“I’m not exactly sure. It was a lot more intense today than it was yesterday. Almost like it rolled over. Yesterday I didn’t start feeling funny until after about an hour. But today it was more like twenty minutes. I got really dizzy, and tired, and it was sort of hard to breathe, and yeah...”

“Right.” He groans as he falls back on his bed, covering his face with his hands. “This is just the worst.”

“Am I really that bad?” Taehyung asks, but there's an undertone of seriousness to his voice and Jeongguk groans again.

“I mean, you’re fine. You’re actually pretty nice when you’re not harassing me about my sex life, and all that. But I don’t like it when I'm around with other people. I look crazy if I try to talk to you.” Taehyung only shrugs when he peeks out between his fingers. “And I was just about to mention that weird feeling I keep getting too.”

“Hm? What weird feeling?”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“Come on!” Taehyung crawls over to the bed and tugs on his ankle, making him drop his hands from his face. “Tell me! This is all new to me as well.”

Jeongguk kicks his foot out, making him let go.

“It’s just- it’s not like I notice it until it’s gone. Not much, anyway.” Now that he’s talking about it though, he can sort of feel it. Low, thrumming, vibrating, in the background. Just this little pushing on the walls of his mind. Something trying to get in. Or perhaps, something trying to get out? “I only realised it was happening when I was away from you and I suddenly felt normal.”

“You feel weird when you’re around me?” Taehyung asks, filling in the blanks.

“Sort of, but sort of not.” Jeongguk laughs at himself, shaking his head. “I just- I remembered what you said… about your aura…”

“Hm, I do have a strong aura. Most other-worldly beings do. Humans have auras, but they’re usually so weak that they don’t affect each other.” Taehyung crosses his legs where he sits back in the middle of the room. “It would make sense that you feel affected by it in ways you don’t necessarily realise. Like this morning when you came in your underwear.”

Jeongguk chokes on his next words, spluttering, coughing.

“Don’t- why would you-”

Taehyung smiles, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Just saying, is all.”

“I hate you,” Jeongguk spits out, shoulders hunched in.

“The point is that I wouldn’t be surprised if my presence makes you feel different and new sensations. Incubi and succubi are designed to be sexually desirable, alluring. You’re supposed to feel perpetually horny around me.”

“Oh my god,” Jeongguk mutters, pressing his palms to his warm cheeks.

“If it makes you feel any better, I find it really flattering that the cute little virgin is so turned on by me.”

“That’s not what I was saying!” Jeongguk grabs the nearest pillow and pitches it at a laughing Taehyung.

“You know, Jeongguk, this situation we’re in is very strange and unpredictable, but I’m glad you’re the person I’m experiencing it with.” Taehyung puts the pillow down in his lap, stroking his large hands over it. “You’re really quite adorable.”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk answers, but he’s laughs quietly to himself. Maybe because he's going insane, giddy at this ridiculous situation he's stuck in. Whatever the reason, he can't quite contain himself, smirking as he says, “I guess that you’re not so bad to look at yourself.”

“Oh, I knew that already, sweetheart.” Taehyung grins, canines showing.

“Asshole,” Jeongguk murmurs, but he smiles as he does so.

 

--

 

Having Taehyung permanently attached to his hip isn't actually as bad as Jeongguk anticipated.

Yoongi and Jimin are often in their rooms or over with the others, so he doesn’t mind when Taehyung follows him out to the kitchen. Even when the guys are over, Jeongguk finds it easy to act like Taehyung is just a new addition the group, speaking to the room but looking at him. If anyone notices that he’s acting strangely, they don’t say anything.

At the gym Taehyung doesn’t bother him too much. He seems to recognise the sanctity of Jeongguk’s routine, hovering nearby but never interrupting him. Jeongguk still spots him staring at him while he does his barbell squats, but he steadily ignores him with only a light blush.

Class is a different matter. If they’re lucky there is a free seat next to him, so Taehyung can sit without bothering him too much. One day he gets bored and starts flicking an eraser around the room, making several students look over at Jeongguk with raised brows. He flushes before smacking his hand down on his desk with fervour.

“There was a fly,” he explains to the girl in front of him who had jumped and turned around. Meanwhile, Taehyung is yelping in his ear about how much of a bully he is as he struggles to pull his hurt fingers out from under his grip.

However, on one of his more boring lectures they walk in to find no spare seats nearby. Taehyung stands next to the desk for some time, sighing as the professor drones on. Eventually he takes to walking around, Jeongguk hissing at him not to embarrass him. He doesn’t listen, of course. He wanders over to the professor and starts pulling faces and doing other inappropriate things, making Jeongguk duck his head to hide his giggles, like they're two naughty schoolboys. When he grows bored of that, Taehyung walks back over to his desk and sits on top of it.

“Do you mind?” Jeongguk mouths, fully aware that he’s surrounded by college kids who are just as uninterested as he is and will undoubtedly notice if he starts talking to himself.

“I’m so bored, Jeongguk-ah. So bored and so horny,” he pouts.

“What?” Jeongguk hisses, leaning back in his chair, thankful that he’s at least at the back of the lecture hall.

“This is the longest I’ve gone without sex,” Taehyung admits, hands trailing down over his stomach. Something flares up in the air, something that makes Jeongguk’s cheeks warm up. “It’s awful. How have you spent your whole life without it?”

Jeongguk decides not to answer, mostly because there’s a girl to his right who is giving him a funny look. Taehyung sulks on top of his desk, blocking his view of the professor. Jeongguk has mostly forgotten that he’s there anyway, too focussed on the waves of heat he can feel licking at his skin.

When he finally escapes the lecture, Jeongguk practically sprints back to his dorm.

“Where are you going, Jeongguk-ah?” Taehyung blocks the doorway when Jeongguk grabs a few things and heads back towards it. “Don’t leave me.”

“I’m going to have a shower. I won’t be that long.”

“You’re going to jerk off, right?” Taehyung guesses, eyeing him. Jeongguk’s jaw drops open at his crudeness. “Can I watch?”

“No,” he snaps, shouldering past him to the door.

"No, you're not going to jerk off, or no, I can't watch?

“Neither. Fuck off.”

“Come on, Jeongguk-ah. I’ve been so nice and patient.” Jeongguk jumps when he feels Taehyung gently tracing his fingers over his elbow. He despises his own body when chills erupt in that spot, goosebumps spreading like ripples in a pond. “Can’t you give me something?”

Jeongguk jerks his elbow away, falling back against the wall as another wave of warmth spreads through him.

“Don’t touch me!” He yells, making Taehyung flinch back. All of his frustration and confusion is suddenly converted into anger and he snaps, “God, just stop, would you? I’m not going to have sex with you, nor do I want to. I’d really appreciate it if you just fucked off altogether. You’re making me insane! You’re going to ruin my life.”

“You’re being a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Taehyung crosses his arms, one brow raised in a way that does nothing to soothe him. “It’s just sex, Jeongguk. It’s no big deal.”

“Just because your existence revolves around sex, doesn’t mean everyone on earth’s does to. Some of us don’t want to have it, okay? I don’t!” He snaps when Taehyung gives him a disbelieving look. “I don’t, and I definitely don’t want to have it with someone like you, who doesn’t even value it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a sex demon! You-”

“Incubus,” he corrects sharply.

“Whatever! You’re a creature designed to have sex. You don’t have any life outside of it. Look at you,” Jeongguk gestures to him, ignoring how he stumbles back, “you can’t even go a week without it before you start losing control. How shallow is your existence that sex is all you can think about?”

“Oh, and you would know?” Taehyung jeers. “Since you know so much about sex, don’t you?”

“I know that I don’t ever want to have it with you,” he hisses. “Which means I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life, so you’d better find someone else to fuck or else you’re going to have to learn to survive without your precious sex for quite some time.”

Taehyung scoffs, opens his mouth to say something more, but Jeongguk turns and wrenches the door open before he can.

“Are you-” Jimin jumps back when Jeongguk comes barging past him. “Hey, Guk, are you alright? Who are you yelling at?”

Jeongguk storms across the room to the bathroom.

“No one,” he mutters, turning at the door and making eye contact with Taehyung as he does. “No one important.”

He slams the door shut.

 

--

 

Jeongguk doesn’t jerk off in the shower. He can’t. For multiple reasons.

One, he doesn’t feel comfortable doing it now that he knows Taehyung knows what he was planning to do. It just doesn’t sit right with him.

Two, he’s much too guilty to get a boner going. Now that he’s put a tiny bit of space in-between he and Taehyung and the pressure that was building inside of him starts to wear away, his arousal has died somewhat. The stress and anxiety that was manifesting because of it melts away too, and he realises just how stupid he sounded as he recounts what he had said to the demon. He’s not even sure why he got so angry. He’d love to blame it on the tension, but something inside of him tells him that there's another reason, something he doesn't really want to acknowledge.

He takes as long as humanly possible cleaning himself off, then a little longer brushing his teeth and fixing his hair up. When enough time has passed that he’s starting to worry that Taehyung might be suffering being apart from him, he sighs and decides to sneak back into his room.

Taehyung is lying on the floor when he comes in, Jeongguk’s laptop in front of him, some video playing loudly from the speakers. He laughs at it just as Jeongguk closes the door behind him, not looking up when he does.

At least he doesn’t look like he was affected by Jeongguk’s absence. That’s a positive sign. It seems they don’t need to be literally attached at the hip, which reassures Jeongguk somewhat. He’s not sure he can survive with the constant pressure in his mind trying to tell him that he’s horny all of the time when he’s not.

He sits on his bed and grabs his phone. He doesn't do anything with it, just holding it for comfort's sake. Taehyung resolutely ignores him, even when the video ends and he picks another.

Once he has clicked on the third though, Jeongguk can’t wait any longer.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, so quiet that he’s not even certain that Taehyung heard him. He stays there, phone clutched in one hand, rocking in place, watching as Taehyung lets the video run right to the end.

He’s about to pretend like he never said anything when Taehyung sighs and closes the laptop. Jeongguk watches, swallowing hard, as Taehyung crawls over to kneel in front of him. His eyes widen of their own accord when Taehyung reaches for his wrists, gently removing his phone so that he can hold his hands.

“No, I’m sorry, Jeongguk.” He looks straight into his eyes as he says it, sincerity shining in them. “I got so defensive for no reason back then. I’m not even sure why, since most of what you said was true.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Jeongguk quickly interjects. “I was being stupid.”

“No, Guk,” Taehyung shakes his head. “You were right. I am a being designed to have sex. That’s my only purpose.” He twists his mouth, swallows. “When I’m in-between requests, I just wait around for another one to come. Pass the time that is eternity while I wait for people on earth to find out about us and call for me. I don’t have a life outside of it.”

Jeongguk isn’t sure what to say to that, so he pulls his hands from Taehyung’s. He takes some small satisfaction at the look of thorough shock on his face when Jeongguk rests said hands on Taehyung's shoulders.

“Even still, I got really angry for no reason. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

Taehyung glances down at his hands, then up to him. “I understand. I keep forcing my sexual ideals on you when I know that you don’t share them with me. Every person is different and has a different attitude towards sex. If you go the rest of your life never having sex, that’s your decision and should be respected as such. It's totally up to you, what you do with your body, and not anyone’s place to judge.”

“But I don’t want that,” Jeongguk admits, hands slipping from Taehyung’s shoulders. His stomach churns and a tiny stubborn part of him protests, but regardless, he admits the truth that he knows he can't escape. “I want to have sex,” he forces out, tips of his ears turning red. “I do, obviously. Of course I do. I just get really shy, I guess.” He turns his head to the side even as he hears Taehyung chuckling.

“I know, Guk. It’s really cute that you do, believe me.” Fingers tickle underneath his chin, gently pulling him back to face his soft smile. “But I’m still sorry for intruding before. Just because I’m an incubus, that doesn’t give me the right to ask you what you’re going to do in your own private time in the shower. That’s your business. I don’t want to seem like some creep.”

“It’s fine,” Jeongguk mumbles. He closes his mouth, lips pressed into a thin line. Admittedly, he's ready to not be talking about this, but at the same time… “I wish I wasn’t so awkward about it.”

“Oh?” Taehyung cocks his head to the side.

“I mean, everyone else I know talks about that sort of stuff without getting flustered and upset. Even Yoongi-hyung occasionally talks about his sex life.” He reaches up to push his hair back off of his forehead, the brunet locks still damp from the shower. “But I couldn’t even hear you talking about me jerking off without freaking out. I want to be less awkward.”

“Well, if that’s what you want.” Taehyung shrugs. “But I still think it’s cute. It's a part of who you are and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Jeongguk nods. Taehyung pushes up off his knees, standing up.

“Right. Well, that was a nice heart-to-heart. I’m glad we sorted out our differences. From now on, I will refrain from informing you when I’m horny.”

Jeongguk scoffs as he stands as well.

“Gee, thanks,” he answers sarcastically. He watches Taehyung wander back over to the laptop, biting his lip when he lies down on his stomach, legs kicking up in the air. “Taehyung,” he calls. The other looks up, sensing his seriousness.

“What is it, Jeongguk?”

“I know that you just said… But I just want you to know that I don’t see you like that.” He kicks at the carpet. “Like you’re just a sex demon, or whatever. I know we’ve only known each other for a few days, but… you really seem like a person to me. Or, you act like one. You’re funny and nice.” He reaches up to rub the back of his neck. “I know you have a purpose to fulfil, or something, but I don’t think that means that you can’t have a life outside of sex. You clearly have other interests,” he says, gesturing to the laptop, “just like a normal human.”

When he looks back to Taehyung, he’s got something bright shining in his eyes and a grin that he can barely seem to contain working the corners of his lips.  

“Thank you, Jeongguk-ah.” He closes his eyes as he beams. When he opens them, something filters through, something bittersweet that steals the light from his eyes like a cloud covering the sun. “Sometimes I wish I was a person, like you. That there was something more to my life than sex.”

Jeongguk stares back at him with a blank face. He's not sure what he can say to comfort him after that, after touching on an issue that is deeper than any problem Jeongguk has ever faced, a problem so complicated it transcends realms. Taehyung doesn't seem like he wants to continue talking about it anyway, turning away from him.

“Come on!” He rolls back over to face the laptop. “Come watch this video. It’s called, Try Not to Laugh Challenge Episode 302. I bet that I can beat you.”

Taehyung laughs at every video in the compilation.

Jeongguk laughs at Taehyung.

 

--

 

Jeongguk is on his fifth barbell squat when he feels it.

It’s so intense that he has to immediately stand back up. He moves far too fast, blood rushing to his head as he puts the bar back on its support. He gasps as he releases it, afraid that he’d have fallen under its weight had he tried to continue any further.

He glances around, makes sure no one is close enough to be bothered before he turns to Taehyung and angrily whispers, “Can you stop that?”

“Sorry,” Taehyung whines, hands placed precariously on his lower abdomen. Jeongguk can see his fingers twitching. “It’s just… your thighs…”

Jeongguk reaches down and adjust his shorts, pulling them so that they're less constricting. He wishes it was winter so that he could get away with wearing sweats. Wishes the incubus who is bound to him wasn’t perpetually horny so that he could wear his shorts in peace.

“You’re awful.”

“Hey,” Taehyung defends, still somewhat breathless, “It isn’t just me. That girl over there has been staring at you since you walked in.”

Jeongguk follows his pointing finger to a girl on a nearby elliptical. She turns her head the moment he looks up, but she’s blushing and now he’s blushing as he turns back to Taehyung, moving from the barbell to his next set of reps.

“Whatever,” he mutters, ignoring Taehyung’s smirk. “She's probably just admiring my form."

Taehyung snorts. "Whatever you want to call it."

"She also probably doesn’t think of sex twenty-four seven, thereby making the people around her have to think of it too.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung mumbles once more, but he doesn’t sound very sorry, especially when Jeongguk jumps up onto the pull-up bar and starts lifting himself. There's a gasp, shortly followed by a whimper that makes Jeongguk's toes curl.

“Oh my god,” he hisses, dropping back down to the ground to clutch at his knees, breathless. “Stop it.”

This is what he has been dealing with for the last few days. It seems that the longer Taehyung goes without sex, the hornier he gets, and the hornier he gets, the stronger his aura becomes. What was a small pressure on the walls of Jeongguk’s mind before has now grown into a force that threatens to break him. Like water pushing against the cracking walls of a dam.

“Stop looking so fuckable, then I’ll stop,” Taehyung wagers. Jeongguk ducks his head down, skin blazing.

“Go do something else then. Stop staring at me.”

“I can’t,” Taehyung whinges. “I feel like I’m going to pass out if I even look the other way.”

That’s another problem that is slowly arising. Previously it seemed as though they couldn’t be apart for more than an hour without Taehyung becoming practically incapacitated, like earlier. However, over the last week, it seems to have built up into something more, something worse. The demon seems to be getting weaker and weaker every time Jeongguk is even in the next room, always woozy and swaying when Jeongguk comes back. It’s making things difficult and awkward, especially when they decided that Taehyung had to come into the bathroom with him when he showered, sitting on the bench and promising not to look.

Jeongguk doesn’t trust that he didn’t.

He’s a demon.

Is this really how Jeongguk is going to spend the rest of his life? Forcing Taehyung to endure these episodes whenever he puts so much as ten metres between them? Trying to ignore the rippling of heat in his mind, the strange voice inside that keeps telling him to look at Taehyung a little longer, to think about him when he’s in the shower, to touch him, to let him touch you?

Jeongguk shakes himself awake. He realises he was zoning out, feet carrying him automatically on the treadmill. Beside him, Taehyung is still whining on about how horny he is, how he’s never gone two weeks without sex before.

“What if my dick falls off? What if I lose my wings? What if they don’t let me back when I go home? I’ve never failed to fulfil my duties before. What if they shame me and kick me out? What if I turn pure and they make go to heaven, oh my god-”

“Wings?” Jeongguk turns his head as he jogs. “You have wings?”

“Yeah. Didn’t you know that?”

Taehyung pulls his shirt off abruptly. Jeongguk misses a step, tripping on the treadmill and barely stopping himself from toppling to the ground, drawing the attention of a few nearby gym-goers. He flushes red and studiously ignores their gazes.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung calls softly.

Jeongguk steps onto the edges of the machine, not risking embarrassing himself again, before he looks over.

Taehyung is standing there in the same pair of tight, black jeans as always. His stomach, lean with clearly defined ridges that make Jeongguk’s mouth water – in a straight way – glows golden under the light. His nipples… Jeongguk quickly averts his eyes.

Instead, he looks up to his enormous black-feathered wings stretching out behind him.

“Wow,” he breathes out, not even bothering to feign nonchalance. They’re beautiful, breath-taking, stunning. Lots of pretty adjectives that don’t even come close to summing up how pretty they are. They reach out a metre either way, broad expanses that taper into feathered tips. Taehyung looks rather smug as Jeongguk stares, stretching the wings out, fluttering them, plumage folding, ruffling, rippling. His arrogant smile drops from his face when Jeongguk steps off of his treadmill and moves toward him, tracing his hand over one of them.

“Jeongguk,” he murmurs darkly, warningly, eyes intense as they follow the movement of his hand. Jeongguk is rather entranced, marvelling at how soft the appendages are. It’s only when he meets Taehyung’s eyes that he pulls his hand back and, with great effort, puts space between them. Taehyung clears his throat as the wings fold away, disappearing into his back. “People are staring.”

Jeongguk realises he must look crazy, sticking his hand out in the air and wow-ing over nothing.

“You know,” Taehyung says, his voice still rough around the edges, “that’s the second time you’ve touched me.” Jeongguk doesn’t respond, instead stooping down to grab his water bottle and his phone before starting out towards the locker room. “The first time was when we had that fight. You grabbed my shoulders.”

He looks over to see Taehyung absent-mindedly rubbing one of his shoulders.

He looks away.

“So what? It’s no big deal,” he says, even though he knows that it is.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung starts. He looks over, frowning. Taehyung purses his lips before glancing away. “Nothing. You go get changed. I’ll wait by the door.”

Jeongguk does as he’s told.

It’s silly, he thinks to himself as they slowly walk back to his dorm afterwards. Taehyung is a demon sent from hell to sexually satisfy him. Nothing less, nothing more. They aren’t friends, never mind that they seem to get along quite well, never mind that Jeongguk has only known Taehyung for three weeks and yet he feels like he could comfortably tell him his deepest, darkest secret.

“What were you doing standing in the middle of the bathroom?” That's Jimin's voice. Jeongguk shakes himself awake as he remembers where he is. He'd left Taehyung in front of his laptop, excused himself to the bathroom where he's been having his internal meltdown. “Having trouble?”

“Just thinking,” he mutters.

“Jeongguk, are you okay?” Jimin leans close to him, eyes wide like he’ll spot the answer just by looking. “You’ve been acting sort of strangely lately. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” he says, forcing a smile onto his face. “Chill.”

“Okay,” Jimin shrugs, “if you say so. But don’t think I haven’t noticed how you lock yourself in the bathroom for so long. I know what you’re doing in there.”

He wiggles his brows. Jeongguk blushes, not because Jimin thinks he knows what he’s doing in the bathroom, but rather because he can’t do what Jimin thinks he knows he’s been doing in the bathroom. He can’t jerk off because Taehyung is always around him, always watching. How can he find time to get himself off? He can’t. Maybe that’s why he’s so strung out about Taehyung. He’s horny as fuck.

He’s still not going to do it in their shared bathroom though. Not until he’s truly desperate.

Not giving Jimin a response, he heads back to his room.

Taehyung is on the floor still, just like Jeongguk left him, except the laptop has been pushed aside and he’s laying flat instead of sitting up. His chest is rising and falling rapidly. Heavy, stunted breaths wrestle their way out of his lungs. He’s got his hands on his head, groaning, eyes squeezed closed.

Jeongguk kneels down next to him in a flash.

“Tae?” He hovers over him, growing more and more concerned as he watches him trying to breathe. “Taehyung? Hey, come on, this isn’t funny.” He leans closer, heart starting to race when he sees how pale his skin has become. “Taehyung!”

The boy jolts when Jeongguk’s hands land on his shoulders, squeezing them. He opens his mouth, draws in a deep, gasping breath. He splutters, turning onto his side as he breathes in and out. His skin gains some of its colour back and, eventually, he collapses back onto the ground, a weak, “Hey Guk,” coming from his lips.

“What happened?” Jeongguk shouts in his face before leaning back on his knees and clearing his throat. In a calmer manner, he says, “You looked like you were dying. You couldn’t breathe, or something.”

“I think-” He pauses to cough. “I think we’re in trouble, Gukkie.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, wariness in his voice as Taehyung slowly pushes himself up so that he’s sitting. He hesitates to answer him and when he does his voice is stilted.

“I think that because I’ve gone so long without doing my job, the curse I’m under is becoming stronger.”

“Curse?”

“I don’t know what else to call it.” He rubs at his forehead. “It started out with not being able to be away from you for too long, then into not being able to be more than ten metres from you. But just now, when you got up, I could feel it starting as soon as the door closed. I just couldn’t breathe.”

“Idiot,” Jeongguk admonishes, “Why didn’t you come to me? You could’ve died!” He pauses, then, “Wait, could you have died?”

“Did you miss the part where I said I couldn’t breathe?” Taehyung asks in a snarky tone. “I would’ve gotten up if I could have. And yes, I suppose I could’ve died. While I can't die from human causes, this is different. It's a punishment. It's probably meant to kill me. I could feel myself shutting down as soon as you left."

“Fuck,” Jeongguk mutters. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Aw, I’m touched.” Taehyung leans closer to him with a broad grin. “You care about me.”

Jeongguk realises that he has showed a little too much of his hand, so he goes to stand, already stammering out an excuse. Before he can leave though, Taehyung’s fingers curl around his wrist, stilling him.

“Jeongguk,” he says, looking up at him with wide, solemn eyes, “we’re in trouble. I don’t know the fine details, since, like I said, this has never happened before. But, I think this is a punishment for demons who try to avoid their duties. It forces them to do their job, or else die as a consequence.”

“So… You’re saying…”

“Jeongguk, I need to give you an orgasm.”

“You- What are you talking about?” Jeongguk hisses out, scrambling backward. “Don’t say stupid things.”

“Jeongguk, my duty was to ravish you.” Jeongguk looks away, swallowing as he feels his skin flashing with warmth. “Ravish you and help you become a master of all things sexual. Whether you like it or not. That’s what I’m here to do. I need to start doing my job.”

“How can you say all of that with a straight face?” He groans. “Don’t you realise how dumb you sound?” Taehyung only shrugs. Jeongguk moves backward until he gets to his bed, quickly getting atop it. The more space between them, the better. “Is there really no way to avoid this? No loophole, or anything?”

“I mean, I don’t know.” Taehyung sighs as he crosses his legs where he sits on the carpet. “I can’t go home until I’ve done what I came here to do. I’ve never needed to communicate with anyone while I’m working and I don’t really know how I’d do that. The only options are for me to die or for you to allow me to pleasure you in order to stave off the curse.”

Jeongguk drops his head into his hands, groaning again.

“This is awful. I don’t want to…”

“I won’t take your virginity, if that’s what you’re worried about. There are hundreds of other things I can do.”

“No!” he snaps out. “I don’t want you to do anything. We’re friends.

A pause and then, “We are?”

When he looks up, Taehyung’s face is in the process of lighting up, eyes shining, smile growing. Jeongguk looks down at his knees but then sighs. There's no use denying it.

"I mean, I sort of think you're alright I guess."

There's a long silence. Jeongguk looks up to see Taehyung staring at him with wide eyes.

"Thank you, Jeongguk," he says slowly. "I've never had a friend before."

"Don't mention it," he says with a wave of the hand. 

"In that case, I won't force you. If we're friends we don't have to do anything-" But Taehyung folds over in the middle of his sentence and starts coughing as though he's hacking up a lung.

Jeongguk stares as he splutters into his hand, as he pulls it back shakily and looks at the blood flecked all over it.

“This sucks,” he groans out as he stands unsteadily in the middle of the room. “Dying sucks.”

“I get it," Jeongguk says with a scowl, but he clasps his hands together to stop them from trembling. "You don’t need to guilt me.”

Taehyung seems taken aback, brows raising.

“Jeongguk, I’m not guilting you.”

“Yes, you are. I don’t blame you. I’m killing you.”

“I’ve already been alive for thousands of years.” Taehyung waves a dismissive hand. “I don’t mind dying eventually.”

It doesn’t placate Jeongguk and Taehyung seems to sense this, since he smiles widely and opens his mouth to say something, only to start coughing again, a throaty, dry grating sound that makes Jeongguk wince just hearing it.

“Come ‘ere,” he mumbles, patting the bed next to him. Taehyung hobbles over immediately. He sighs happily as he sits. “Does being this close really make it better?” Jeongguk asks, watching in wonder as Taehyung’s skin glows rosy again, as his breaths start to clear and he is able to clear his throat without sounding like he's choking.

“Yeah,” he answers. “I guess I’m sort of prolonging the inevitable, but at least I don’t feel like my insides are trying to stab me when I’m with you.”

“How romantic,” Jeongguk monotones.

“I know, right?”

“Taehyung,” he says, turning his head away. “Just do it.”

“Hm? Do what?”

“Give me a… You know.”

“Huh?”

Jeongguk growls in his throat, swinging his legs to hang over the edge of the bed as he sits up, facing as far away from Taehyung as he possibly can.

“An orgasm,” he snaps, burying his head in his hands. More muffled now, “Just do it already.”

Taehyung is silent behind him for quite some time while Jeongguk breathes into his palms. He shifts on the bed and then his long fingers peel Jeongguk’s hands away so that he can look into his eyes.

“Jeongguk, I’m not going to do anything without your consent.”

“I literally just gave you my consent.”

“Your willing consent. I’d rather die.”

“Well I don’t want you to die,” Jeongguk yells. His shoulders slump when Taehyung flinches back. He repeats, softer, “I don’t want you to die. I won’t be able to live with myself, even if you are a demonic entity. I don’t care.”

Taehyung sits back on his haunches, a perplexed expression on his face.

“I don’t know. You just said that we were friends. I don't want to ruin that and have you hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?” Jeongguk looks over his shoulder to frown at him.

“Because, you want to save yourself for someone special. You never asked for this. It doesn’t feel right.”

“That doesn’t matter now. We’re in a situation where what I want doesn’t matter anymore.” Taehyung opens his mouth to protest, so Jeongguk says firmly, “Taehyung, I’m not going to let you die.” He sends an intense look his way. It makes Taehyung close his mouth abruptly. “Please, just do it.”

Taehyung hesitates for one moment more before he presses his lips together and nods. Heartrate picking up, Jeongguk feels his hands start to shake. He turns his head back to face away from Taehyung while he grips the edge of the bed. He was the one who demanded that this happen; he shouldn't be this anxious.

Taehyung moves up behind him.

“What do you want me to do then?”

“I- I don’t care. Just-”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Taehyung laughs quietly. “I’ll do it.”

“Just- just don’t look,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes closed. “Please.”

If Taehyung thinks it’s funny that his voice cracks, he doesn’t react.

“I won’t look, Jeongguk. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” His hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder makes him flinch. “We’re friends, yeah? I don’t want you to force yourself just for my sake.”

“It’s not- it’s not just for…” He trails off. How is he supposed to tell Taehyung that he’s horny as fuck and hasn’t been able to jerk off for the last fortnight? As much as he would rather not have Taehyung touching him, he can’t say he’s not looking forward to some relief.

Taehyung seems to understand him, for he doesn’t say anything more on the matter. Convinced enough, he crawls forward until he’s sitting just behind Jeongguk. Over his shoulder he says, “I’ll jerk you off, yeah? Nothing more. I won’t even look, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Right,” Jeongguk answers, whispering to avoid any more voice cracking. He keeps his eyes closed tightly as he feels Taehyung’s arm snaking around his side and down his front. He can just barely feel where he’s sitting behind him, the warmth of his chest seeping into Jeongguk’s back.

“Relax, Guk,” Taehyung mutters in his ear. “I can feel you shaking.”

Jeongguk nods, knows that the tips of his ears must be like beacons, shining red. Taehyung’s fingers hit the hem of his pants, deftly unbuttoning them and unzipping them.

“Can you lift up for me, Gukkie?” His voice is soft. Jeongguk does as he’s told, while Taehyung tugs his jeans down to his thighs.

“Don’t- don’t look,” he squeaks out as Taehyung’s hand delves into his underwear.

“It’s okay, Jeongguk. I won’t look, I promise.”

He flinches when he feels Taehyung’s fingers brushing against his soft cock. He squeaks, embarrassment flooding him. He wishes he was hard so that he would seem more impressive, but he’s too nervous, too anxious as he grips onto the bed.

Taehyung’s large hand easily wraps around his length. He gently strokes it, delicate and light touches that make Jeongguk’s knuckles turn pale against the sheets.

“Relax, Jeongguk,” Taehyung repeats. “You’re so tense. The goal is for you to enjoy this, you know.”

Jeongguk nods, wills his muscles to release, wills his body to calm down. It’s just Taehyung. Taehyung who is nice. Taehyung who doesn’t worry about little things, who goes with the flow. Taehyung who is an incubus and probably has had the most amazing sex in the world with people that are ten times more attractive than Jeongguk is. People who have bigger dicks than he does, and who aren’t virgins, and who know what they’re doing in bed, and-

Taehyung sighs and lets go of him. Jeongguk jumps as his hand retreats back up to his stomach.

“Why did you-”

“Jeongguk,” he says, “I really don’t feel comfortable with this.”

“But…” Jeongguk feels tears springing to his eyes, the humiliation too much to handle. He’s such a coward, he can’t even enjoy a handjob from the most attractive guy he has ever met in his life.

“You’re so tense.” Taehyung’s hand rubs against his stomach in slow circles. “You clearly don’t want this.”

“I do,” he replies, cheeks hot. “I do, I just- I’ve never-”

“I know,” Taehyung whispers against his ear. He hums into it and then pulls his hand back to his side. “Why don’t you do it?”

“What?” Jeongguk stiffens against his chest. He turns his head, meets his eyes, quickly turns it back when Taehyung smiles at his reddened face. “No way.”

“If I try to get you turned on, we’re going to be here forever. I’ll probably die waiting,” he jokes. Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, laughing through it. “You’re more familiar with your dick than I am. Give it a try and see how you go.”

“You’re supposed to be an incubus. Why can’t you just make it hard? Use some magic, or something?”

Taehyung snorts. “I’m a demon, not a miracle worker. Besides, I don’t want to use any tricks on you. I want you to do it because you want to.”

Jeongguk winces.

“But I can’t… I can’t while you’re watching.”

“I won’t watch,” Taehyung assures. “I’ll keep my head behind your back. I want you to enjoy yourself, Jeongguk. Please?”

Jeongguk nods, swallowing. With great effort, he brings his right hand up off of the bed, taking a moment to wipe his palms on his jeans, ridding them of the sweat that’s accumulated, before spitting into it. He takes his soft length into his hand and with slow movements, starts jerking himself off.

It’s torture. Taehyung said he’s not looking, but he might as well be. He probably thinks Jeongguk is so pathetic, can’t even get it up for a simple handjob. Taehyung is going to die because Jeongguk can’t even function like a normal human.

“Stop thinking so much, Guk.” Taehyung says into his ear. “You need to stop worrying. You’re doing such a good job.”

“But, I can’t even-”

“Listen to me,” Taehyung firmly interjects, “You’re doing fine. There’s nothing wrong with you. Keep going.”

So Jeongguk does. He concentrates on the slide of his palm, the way it catches on the head of his cock. The warmth of it, the warmth of Taehyung against his back. His breath against his ear, his lips brushing against the back of his neck when he speaks, when he says, “That’s it. You’re doing so well, Guk.”

It takes a few minutes, but eventually Jeongguk feels something twitching to life, blood rushing south. Once his thoughts have faded away, his inner voice quietened, he feels his cock slowly hardening, firming up until it’s erect in his hand and he’s panting quietly through his parted lips.

“There we go,” Taehyung says against his back. His hands are still on his sides, but he slides one back around to his front, pressing it lightly to his stomach. “You’ve done so well, Guk.”

Jeongguk shudders. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, refusing to look down and see himself. Taehyung’s hands slide over his chest, up along his ribcage. Over the material of his shirt, his fingers trail up to his nipples, searching them out and circling them when he does. Jeongguk arches his back, pressing into Taehyung’s chest.

“Hm, you like this?” Taehyung hums in his ear again, fingers toying with his nipples as they harden through the fabric. “You like having your nipples played with, Gukkie?”

“T-Tae,” he sighs out, head heavy, falling back to rest on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“You’re so hot,” Taehyung mumbles. Jeongguk knows he’s only saying it to appease him, to make him feel better. It works. He feels shivers travelling along his spine, feels jolts of electricity sparking over his skin, tightening his nipples as Taehyung rubs the tips of his fingers over them. He holds his breath to stop himself from moaning aloud when he pinches them, twisting, pulling, driving him insane until he pulls away.

“Tae,” he breathes out, trying not to whine, trying not to beg him to keep going.

He feels something brushing over his hand. He opens his eyes, peering down quickly to see Taehyung’s large hand laying over the top of his own.

“May I?”

Jeongguk hesitates, voice shaky when he answers, “Okay.”

Taehyung gently pushes his hand away and, with teetering touches, brushes his fingertips along his shaft. Jeongguk holds his breath until he can’t, gasping it out and then doing it all over again as Taehyung teases him.

“Look at how cute you are,” he murmurs, voice lower than usual and it makes Jeongguk tremble even as he jumps.

“You said you wouldn’t look,” he hisses, turning his head to face further away from Taehyung.

“I haven’t,” Taehyung says, tone earnest. Indeed, his head is still behind his, his forehead pressed into the thickest part of his hair. “But I just know you must look so sexy right now.” He moves his fingers up until they’re circling the head, light, barely-there scratches that make Jeongguk stiffen up against his chest. “I bet you have the hottest cock. I can just imagine it,” he speaks into the nape of his neck, nose brushing up into his hair, “wet and dripping just for me. So sexy.”

You’re wrong, Jeongguk wants to say, but the words get caught in his throat when Taehyung wraps his palm around the tip of his cock and starts twisting it over the sensitive glans. He struggles to keep his breaths even, torn between holding the air in his lungs until he’s gasping and breathing in and out in quick, rapid puffs that leave him dizzy.

Taehyung’s hand slowly slides down to the base of his cock. He squeezes, makes him tense up, before loosening his grip and moving back up. Then back down, firm grip slick as it travels towards his quaking thighs, laxer as it nears the tip once more.

It feels just like it does when Jeongguk does it and yet, it feels so much better.

“You’re holding back on me, Guk-ah.” Taehyung has turned his head, his cheek pressed to the warm skin of his neck. “Stop holding your breath. Let yourself make noise. I want to hear you.”

“N-no.” He responds right as Taehyung pauses to twist his head around the tip of his cock, making his breath hitch in his throat. “I sound weird.”

He feels warmth against his shoulder as Taehyung laughs.

“I’ll let you believe that for now,” is all that he answers. A somewhat ominous response but Jeongguk is too distracted by the way he curls his wrist, the way he stops to slide his thumb through the slit at the head, smearing the fluid gathered there over the crown with laborious back and forth motions that make Jeongguk arc his back, wriggle in place.

“Stop teasing me,” he breathes out right as one of Taehyung’s long fingers traces right under the head, slithering along the ridge, pressing against something sensitive there that makes Jeongguk bite down on his tongue.

“Hm? Why should I?”

“Asshole,” he snaps. “Don’t you need to give me an orgasm to survive?”

“Truth be told, Jeongguk, I’m feeling better just from touching you.” He sniggers into his neck, even as his hand traces down the length of his shaft, down to fondle his balls, caressing them, squeezing, making Jeongguk flinch as every touch puts him more on edge. “So, I could probably stop right now, if you like. There’s no need to keep going.”

His hand travels back up over his shaft, but he slows his movements until he’s completely still, fist wrapped around Jeongguk’s cock in a tantalising manner. Jeongguk digs his fingers into the sheets beside him. Grits his teeth, tenses his thighs.

“Jeongguk?” Taehyung prompts. His head turns, lips pressing back onto the nape of his neck. “Do you want me to stop?”

Jeongguk dips his head, embarrassment swirling hot and angry in his gut.

But, fuck-

“No,” he mutters, closing his eyes tightly. “Please keep going.”

“Hm?” Taehyung’s grip tightens before he gradually moves his hand up, down, up. “You want to come, Guk?”

“Please,” he whispers into his chest. “Please let me come.”

Behind him, Taehyung growls. The sound is chilling, other-worldly, and it goes straight to Jeongguk’s dick where Taehyung’s hand speeds up, jerking him off in earnest. Jeongguk’s hands fly to grasp at his arm, not to stop him but more for something to hold onto.

It doesn’t take him long, admittedly. Maybe because he’s a virgin and has no sexual stamina. Maybe because Taehyung has him strung out after his teasing. Maybe because this is the hottest thing he has ever experienced in his life. Maybe it’s a combination of all three of those things that has him pressing his lips together to suppress the moan building in the back of his throat, that has him digging his nails into Taehyung’s arm. His hips give involuntary thrusts, juddering jerks that meet Taehyung’s fist. He’s grunting as he gets closer, breath coming in strained gasps every few moments as he holds it in, tries to stop himself from panting too loudly. The closer he gets, the less control he has over himself, the louder his breaths become, the more his lips part to allow the tiniest whine to slip through.

“You going to come, Guk?” Taehyung whispers into his ear.

Jeongguk’s grip on his arm tightens as a response as he feels himself tipping, tipping, falling.

“Tae,” he groans out, and then he comes, head tilting back as he freezes, as everything tightens, as Taehyung’s hand circles the head of his cock with rapid movements. He feels, rather than sees, his own cum shooting over his abdomen, streaks of white over his shirt and exposed skin, over Taehyung’s hand, down onto his thighs that go lax like the rest of his body does as he squeaks in the back of his throat. His fingers loosen on Taehyung’s arm, leaving crescent-shaped bruises behind. He collapses back into the demon’s chest, soft and mushy and melted because that was the best orgasm he’s ever had in his life and he doesn’t care how smug Taehyung is going to be about it.

But he isn’t. He doesn’t say anything, just tugs Jeongguk’s briefs back up his thighs before tucking his wet cock back into them, hand sliding back to his abdomen where it rests, where he holds him, head pressed to his shoulder blade. He’s breathing almost as heavily as Jeongguk is, ear against his back where he can undoubtedly hear his racing heart.

Jeongguk, not one to enjoy an awkward silence, clears his throat.

“Do- Do you feel better now?”

Taehyung laughs into his shirt, arms tightening around his waist.

“I do, Jeongguk. Thank you.”

 

Chapter Text

 

After they’ve cleaned up, Taehyung proposes that they run some tests. Jeongguk walks to the other end of their dorm (Yoongi is very confused when he comes to stand in his room for a minute before leaving without a word) before coming back into the room.

"Anything?"

Taehyung shakes his head. "I feel fine. Try going out for a bit longer. Walk around the block. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Jeongguk jogs because he really doesn't want to come back to find a dead demon in his bed. Thankfully when he returns, Taehyung is very excited to say that he didn’t feel any sort of fever or dizziness. So, with a promise to be no longer than an hour, Jeongguk grabs his gym bag from earlier and heads out on his own.

The fresh air (but not really because he's in a gym full of sweaty college kids) is welcoming. Jeongguk is certain that he must have a permanent blush on his face as he warms up on the bike. Everyone is staring at him, he's sure of it. Everyone is looking and they just know that he just got jerked off by his demon friend and now he’s questioning his sexuality and his sanity and everything else in his life and they all know.

He is a lot longer than an hour and he definitely feels guilty for that as he starts meandering back toward the dorm, but the silence is just so nice. The ability to think, to feel clear-headed, to not have that pressure on his mind that Taehyung's aura subjects him to constantly is such a relief that he finds himself walking quite slowly when he nears his dorm block.

When the slight worry that Taehyung may be dying on his bedroom floor gets to him, he jogs up the stairwell and quickly shoves his keys into the lock in the front door. His bedroom door is closed, like it always is. He tentatively knocks on it, received to hear Taehyung mumble a, “Come in.”

With a quick breath in he opens the door and,

“Why are you knocking on your own door?”

Yoongi is standing behind him with furrowed brows. Jeongguk freezes where he is, eyes turning into perfect circles as he stares at his friend's suspicious frown.

“I… uh…”

“You’ve been acting weirdly lately.”

Jeongguk decides to go for nonchalance.

“You too?” He rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. “Jimin said the same thing. You guys are freaking out over nothing.”

“Okay, but, I’m just a little concerned, Jeongguk. You’ve been doing strange things.”

“Yeah.” Jimin appears from his room, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t eavesdropping. He walks over looking just as apprehensive as Yoongi. “Jeongguk, we hear you talking to someone in there. Don’t pretend like you’re not.”

“And in the bathroom too,” Yoongi supplies.

Jeongguk leans back against his door, cringing into the wood.

“It’s no big deal. I was just talking to someone on Skype.”

“Why do you think you need to hide from us, Jeongguk?” Yoongi tilts his head. Beside him, Jimin’s eyes sparkle with something. Something impish. “Don’t you trust us?”

“It’s really nothing to tell you about. Just talking to a friend. Can you guys just chill?”

“I know, I know. Jeonggukkie is a private person.” Jimin reaches forward to ruffle his hair. “You can come and tell us more whenever you’re comfortable.”

Jeongguk doesn’t like the way that he’s smiling at him as he backs into his room, nor the way that the suspicious shine stays put in Yoongi’s eyes, only disappearing when the door closes.

“So,” Taehyung says from behind him, making him jump as he swirls around. He’s standing right there, not a foot away from Jeongguk and he finds himself casting his eyes downward, vision catching on Taehyung's hands for a moment before it drops to the floor. “You were out a little longer than expected.”

“Is that a crime?” Jeongguk keeps his voice quiet, mindful of the fact that he can still hear his roommates talking quietly just beyond the door. He dumps his gym bag by his laundry pile before crawling onto his bed. He curls up into a ball, facing the wall. 

“Just an observation. Don’t get comfy, I want to show you a YouTube video.” Taehyung pokes his side. “Get up.”

“Later,” Jeongguk mumbles into the sheets.

“Okay, fine.” Taehyung sits down on the end of the bed. Jeongguk feels every muscle in his body tense up. He tries to subtly roll closer to the wall. “Thanks for asking how I’m doing by the way,” Taehyung says, sarcasm loud in his deep voice. “I survived you going to the gym. It’s good to see that you care.”

Jeongguk grunts as an answer.

“Stop ignoring me,” Taehyung whines, pout audible. Jeongguk feels his hand nudging his thigh. He flinches away, kicking his foot out on instinct and nailing him in the side. “Ouch!” He yells as he falls toward the end of the bed. “What was that for?”

“Stop touching me.”

Silence for a beat. The clock in the corner of the room ticks away. Jeongguk listens to it and breathes along with it.

“Oh,” Taehyung starts, “I get it. You’ve gone all awkward because I jerked you off, right?”

Jeongguk turns further into the pillows and groans.

“Can you not say it so blatantly?”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s deep voice is suddenly right there, whispering right into his ear. Chills spread over Jeongguk's neck as he freezes, swallowing. “I touched your dick. Your bare penis. With this hand.” He shoves his palm right in Jeongguk’s face, pressing it to his mouth while he squeaks and tries to wrestle him away. “You came all over it. I licked some of it off when you weren’t looking. I was sort of hoping you’d let me do it again. You know, for science.”

“Shut up!” Jeongguk turns over and grabs Taehyung's arm, pulling him to the bed. Taehyung giggles as he tumbles onto to the mattress, squealing when Jeongguk climbs atop him and pins him. “You. Are. The. Worst.” He punctuates each word with a punch to his stomach, light and barely there, but enough to send his message across. He's not smiling. His cheeks definitely aren't aching where his grin stretches too wide and he definitely doesn't feel butterflies at Taehyung's giggling. He does tickle him, but that's only because he's already up there. It's definitely not because he loves seeing the demon laughing underneath him and he definitely doesn't join in with his laughter as he watches him squirm against the bed.

Jeongguk was never a great liar.

He gets up and sits on the edge of the bed and he's somehow more breathless than Taehyung is when he joins him.

“You don’t need to feel uncomfortable. First of all, that whole thing was very, very hot, Guk.” Taehyung pats his shoulder as he speaks, ignoring how he cringes. “Second, the reason I’m here is to have sex with you, remember? I’m supposed to be teaching you to be better at it. Well, better than a virgin.”

Jeongguk sighs as he rubs his forehead.

“Okay, I get it. I know that, I just- Can we not do anything right now? Just let me process this? This is all a little bit intimidating,” he admits, followed with a scowl directed at himself. Why does he have to be so awkward?

Taehyung only laughs, patting his head.

“Of course, Jeongguk. I would never pressure you into anything. If you change your mind and decide you don’t want this, I’ll happily die.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk reaches over to slap his knee. Taehyung flinches, grabbing it with a pout. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Y’know, I thought it was going to be nice when you finally opened up and started touching me, but now I see that you’re just a violent abuser.” Taehyung widens his eyes, innocence shining in them as he holds his injured knee. “You’re a meanie.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes.

“Come on. Show me this video.”

 

--

 

Taehyung sleeps in the bed with him that night.

It’s not something they discuss. It just happens. Jeongguk had been showing him some games on his phone and had obviously fallen asleep against him. It's embarrassing, but he finds that he doesn’t mind when he wakes up an hour later with a cramp in his neck. It’s not as awkward as he thought it might be as he holds the sheets up for Taehyung to get under, the other just smiling at him softly. They don’t touch, keeping to their separate sides, but it’s still nice. Warming.

It’s nicer still, when Jeongguk wakes up in the morning.

“Oh my god.”

He turns over and grabs Taehyung’s shoulder, juddering it until he awakens with a groan.

“Wh-What’s happening? Stop that, I was having such a nice dream.”

“Hyung!” He yells in his face, forgetting that he may have morning breath. “Hyung, look!”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment.

“You called me hyung,” he murmurs, a sleepy smile melting onto his face. Jeongguk ignores him, instead pointing down at his crotch as he pulls the blankets back.

“Look, Tae. No boner.”

Taehyung laughs, wiping a hand down his face, collecting the sleep from his eyes.

“Congratulations.”

“Don’t you get it? I didn’t have a wet dream! That’s the first time in weeks."

Indeed, Jeongguk had taken to wearing an extra pair of underwear to bed in a bid to lower the chances of staining his pants. He was sort of getting used to the disappointment of fresh cum in his pyjamas, but honestly, he’s not missing it right now.

“Probably because I jerked you off,” Taehyung says through a yawn. Jeongguk frowns, shifting away.

“Stop bringing that up.”

Taehyung laughs again.

“You’re so cute. Don’t change, Jeongguk.”

He says it so softly that it makes Jeongguk uncomfortable. He quickly sits up as he realises how close they are, pushing the blankets off of his legs so that he can get up.

“I have a class,” he announces. “Do you want to come with me?”

Taehyung hums, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. His silver tresses are perfect somehow, despite having just woken up. Perfect like they always are. Perks of being attractive by default, Jeongguk supposes, absent-mindedly running a hand through his own knotted hair.

“I’ll stay,” he eventually responds. “Might as well do a little more testing, see if I get any symptoms back. You probably want the space anyway, right?”

“Right. I'll come back right after it finishes,” Jeongguk answers, turning away to get his clothes out of his wardrobe. He clears his throat as he turns around. “I’m going to go…” He looks down pointedly at the bundle of clothes in his hand.

Taehyung grins.

“Yes, Jeongguk, go get changed in the bathroom like a baby.”

So, he does.

He knows that it’s stupid, that he’s stupid. He can’t help it. As he changes, he glances over to the mirror. Wonders if he’s really going to let Taehyung touch him, see him. He traces his eyes over his stomach. He’s proud of his muscles, works hard to try to keep his six pack, at least. It’s not as defined as it was at the beginning of the year and he frowns at the fading ridges. He’ll have to increase his time at the gym. No more skipping.

He still doesn’t like his legs. His thighs are too big. His skin is too pale. Little patches of stretchmarks litter the insides, leftover from puberty. He doesn’t like his dark body hair, wishes he could get rid of it but is too afraid to shave, way too afraid to wax.

Once he's dressed he leans closer and looks at his face. There are light bags under his eyes that he can never get rid of no matter how long he sleeps for. There are pimples, some on his chin, some on his forehead. His nose is covered in blackheads and his brows are messy but he's afraid that if he plucks them he'll mess up and make them look worse, and-

He had spent most of his high school years convinced that no one would ever love him. When he first started this year he had become resigned to that fact. Girls never came up to him to hit on him like he witnessed happening to his hyungs many a time. He never overheard people talking about his looks like he hears them talking about Jimin and Seokjin. There's no way he could ever approach someone like he watches Hoseok do so easily. He's too awkward and there's just no chance that they'd like him. He made a Tinder account at the start of the year and never opened it, far too afraid to find zero matches. 

He's ugly. He knows this. The proof is in the fact that the only person who has ever wanted to have sex with him is doing it because it's their job. 

Jeongguk turns away from the mirror and leaves the bathroom.

 

--

 

When he’s in a boring lecture two days later, Jeongguk receives a text from Hoseok. An invite for him to come around with the other two for a catch up. He promises not to break out the Ouija board. It’s supposed to be funny and Jeongguk replies with an appropriate ‘lel’ but internally he winces. His hyungs have no idea how drastically his life changed because of that night.

Jeongguk thinks of Taehyung as he shoves his things into his bag at the end of the lecture. He’s waiting for him in his room, waiting for Jeongguk to come back from his class any minute now. A sex demon, an incubus, sent to earth to do all sorts of terrible things with Jeongguk. Jeongguk the virgin.

Jeongguk decides not to go back to the dorm. He heads straight over to Hoseok instead.

“Oh,” his hyung answers the door. “You’re early, Guk-ah.”

Jeongguk doesn’t respond, letting himself in.

“Alcohol?”

“It’s three o’clock,” Namjoon states from the couch.

“Here you go,” Hoseok hands him a beer, a warm smile on his face. He turns to their disapproving friend, “The drunker we get Jeonggukkie, the more information we’ll find out about this secret girlfriend of his.”

Jeongguk chokes on his first mouthful, spluttering beer all over the carpet.

“What are you talking about?” He asks in-between retches.

Namjoon sighs, sitting up so that he can level a judgemental gaze on his hyung.

“Remember how we were going to not bring that up, Hobi?”

“Oh yeah.” He turns to Jeongguk. “Forget I said that.”

Jeongguk gives a weak nod right as Seokjin walks in with a clap of the hands.

“Congratulations Jeongguk! First you lose your virginity and now you’re no longer single? Wow!” He sways as he brings his hands together, looking like a seal at a circus show.

Namjoon drops his head into his hands.

“Sorry,” Hoseok leans in to whisper to him. Jeongguk smells the whisky on his breath. “We started early.”

“Like I said. Three o’clock.”

Not too much later, Yoongi and Jimin arrive, giving Jeongguk guilty grins as soon as they hear that the good news has spread. Jimin quickly gravitates towards where Jeongguk is attempting to blend in with the carpet. 

“Sorry, Guk. I know we shouldn’t have talked about your personal business before we actually confirmed it with you. It’s just that it’s sort of obvious. We hear you in your room all the time, you know. Whoever it is, you must like her a lot since you seem to be talking to her twenty-four seven.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say. Should he go along with the lie and prevent his friends from assuming he’s gone crazy? Or, should he tell Jimin he’s wrong? That Jeongguk is more single than ever before? That there’s a sex demon living in his bedroom who will die if he doesn’t give Jeongguk orgasms?

“Um, yeah.” He clears his throat. “We haven’t really talked about what we are, so I didn’t…”

“I see,” Jimin says with a smile. “You haven’t DTR-d yet.”

Jeongguk stares blankly at him.

“What’s DTR?” Hoseok asks for him.

“You mean DDR?” Yoongi offers.

“Oh!” Hoseok turns to Jeongguk with a grin. “You should definitely take your girlfriend to an arcade for a date. Dance Dance Revolution is a classic.”

Jeongguk cuts in right as Jimin opens his mouth.

“Hobi-hyung, where did you get that Ouija board from?”

The room silences, the abrupt subject change catching everyone off-guard. Hoseok hums.

“There was this weird little caravan parked next to my favourite hotdog stand one day. There was an old lady inside wearing lots of jewellery and she said something about not messing with fate or else a terrible curse would be put on my friends and then passed me the box with the game in it. It was free, so I took it.”

Jeongguk nods along with his story before asking, “Can I see it?”

Hoseok shrugs, disappearing to retrieve the game.

“Did no one else just hear that?” Namjoon asks.

Seokjin sighs from where he has flopped beside him on the couch.

“I want a hotdog now.”

Hoseok returns with the box in hand. He grins as he holds it up for Jeongguk to see.

“Return it,” he says.

“What?” Hoseok pulls the box to his chest protectively. “No way! It’s mine. Besides, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. That caravan was gone when I came back an hour later. I asked the hotdog dude about it because I wanted one of her cool salt lamp thingies but he said he never saw a caravan. Weird, huh?”

“Fuck, I really want a hotdog.”

“Seriously, is no one else hearing this shit?”

“Give me the box,” Jeongguk orders.

“No,” Hoseok pouts. “Get your own.”

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jeongguk turns to their straight-faced friend. “Pass me your lighter.”

“What lighter?” Yoongi glares at him, stepping away. “Why would I have a lighter? I don’t smoke weed. You can’t prove it.”

Jeongguk stomps up to him and digs his hand into his pocket. Yoongi, for all his yelling about how he’s clean that turn into yelps of, “please don’t tell mum, she was going to send me money this week”, doesn’t resist much when Jeongguk pulls his lighter out of his jacket.

Some chasing and some screaming later, Jeongguk manages to wrestle the game off of Hoseok and only sets the fire alarm off twice while he burns it in his hyungs’ kitchen sink.

“Jeongguk, you’re doing that thing again.” Jimin tentatively pats Jeongguk’s shoulder while he stands over the kitchen sink mumbling to himself. “You know, that thing where you act strangely and make me think there’s something going on.”

“I’m fine,” he answers shortly.

“Maybe, but you’re setting my hyung alarm off.” Jimin pulls his shoulder so that he’s facing him, ignoring Hoseok’s wailing over the sink as he tries to salvage the pieces of burnt cardboard. “You seem quieter than usual. You’ve been spending most of your time in your room, like, more than usual. I know you’ve got this girl that you like and you want to be as close with her as possible but, I don’t know, I just-”

“Shit!” Jeongguk yells suddenly, making Jimin jump back. He watches with wide eyes as Jeongguk scrambles over to the table to grab his phone. “I have to go,” he yells to his hyungs as he runs for the door. “Bye!”

The pervading silence that follows his departure is only broken by Seokjin drunkenly lamenting his lack of hotdogs and Namjoon mumbling something about his IQ being “too high for this shit."

 

--

 

Jeongguk has never run so fast in his life. When he bursts into his dorm room, he opens the door so hard it slams into the drywall, leaving a sizeable dent that the dorm manager is definitely going to hate him for.

But that doesn’t matter. In that one moment, nothing matters but Taehyung who is laying on his bed, lifeless.

“Tae!” He screams as he runs up to him, knees colliding with the bedframe with a bruising pain he doesn’t feel. He grabs Taehyung by his shoulders, lifting his heavy chest and shaking it. His eyes are closed, his skin clammy and pale. His breaths are coming in small gasps, lips blue. Somehow, some perverted part of Jeongguk's brain thinks, he still looks perfect even when he’s dying.

Jeongguk is not the kind of person who deals well with high stress situations. He has no idea what the fuck he’s doing, what he’s thinking. He runs only on instinct when he grabs Taehyung’s cheeks, shivering at the chill of his skin. He pulls his chin up and, feeling like Prince Charming, slams his lips down onto his.

It does nothing. Taehyung doesn’t splutter awake in some sort of Sleeping Beauty moment like Jeongguk hoped he might. When he lets go of his face, his head falls back to the bed, lolling against the pillow.

“Taehyung, please!” He squeezes his shoulders again, tears brimming in his eyes. He thinks about what made him run over here in the first place, Jimin unintentionally reminding him that the two of them need to be close. On a whim, he climbs into the bed and presses their skin together wherever he can. “Tae, come on,” he mutters. “Wake up, please.”

His heart skips a beat when Taehyung opens his lips and takes in a panting breath, coughing in the back of his throat. Jeongguk, encouraged by this positive reaction, shifts closer. Their thighs touch, the warmth of his own skin notable against Taehyung’s cold body. In a last ditch, panicked move, Jeongguk leans back to tear his shirt off before grabbing at Taehyung’s. Their chests bare, Jeongguk crowds up against him, feeling his weary heartbeat thrumming against his own racing one.

It takes a long time. Enough time to find Jeongguk long past trying to stop his tears, openly crying into Taehyung’s shoulder while he struggles to breathe. Eventually though, the gasps even out, become longer, more rhythmical. His skin starts to rush with colour, rosiness spreading over his face.

His eyes open.

“Gukkie?” He rasps, peering down at him with heavy-lidded eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“Oh my god, Tae.” Jeongguk sits up, still pressed close to him. “Oh my god, you’re alive.”

“I am,” Taehyung murmurs, a hand reaching up to brush against Jeongguk’s face, trailing over his tear tracks with a questioning gaze. “You seem pretty upset about it.”

“Shut up, you idiot,” Jeongguk snaps in-between sniffles, whacking his chest with such little force that it’s less a slap and more him pressing his palm to his chest, feeling the way his heartbeat starts to revive. “God.”

Taehyung smiles a queasy smile, weak hand now trailing around his neck, resting on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Guk. I’m alright now.”

“You almost died,” he whispers.

“Hm. But I didn’t. So, there’s no need to be sad, is there?”

“Yes, there is,” he insists. “I almost killed you. I should’ve come back sooner.”

“It’s not your fault, Jeongguk. You didn’t know.”

“I did,” he argues. He wants something to grab, but given their shirtless states, Jeongguk settles for digging his fingers into Taehyung’s shoulder. The other doesn’t mind, raised eyebrows the only indication that he notices. “I purposely didn’t come back.”

Taehyung cocks his head to the side.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I was upset,” he whispers. “And scared.”

“Why?” Taehyung whispers back.

“Upset because,” Jeongguk turns over onto his stomach. He doesn't feel comfortable putting too much space between them just yet, so he keeps his side pressed up against Taehyung's as he picks at the fabric of the pillow underneath him, “I know I need to do this sex stuff in order to keep you alive.”

Taehyung tuts.

“You don’t need to do anything. You’re not obligated to have sex with me.”

But Jeongguk shakes his head, not meeting his eyes.

“Scared,” he continues, ignoring him, “because I think I want to.”

Taehyung silences. Jeongguk gauges his reaction, his mouth forming a cute ‘o’ that he looks away from quickly.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” he admits. “I’ve never cared before but there’s never been- There was no one who-”

Taehyung’s fingers tickle the skin under his chin, gently pulling his head so that he’s facing him. His eyes are soft and warm and calling Jeongguk and he knows that it’s because he’s an incubus, knows that he exudes charm and sex appeal by nature. He’s perfect by design.

That's what he tells himself, anyway.

“Everything you’re feeling is completely normal,” Taehyung assures. “It doesn’t make you weird or different just because you haven’t ever found someone who you feel lust for before. There’s no right time to do any of these things. Sometimes it just happens. I’m flattered that you’ve decided you want to do those things with me.”

Jeongguk closes his eyes and gulps. The conversation is heading in a direction that he’s been trying to ignore in his mind for a while now, so he grabs Taehyung’s hand and pulls it down in-between them, biting his lip when he sees the way his eyes widen.

“Do it, Tae. Please, I need to know that you’re okay.”

Taehyung purses his lips for a moment. Jeongguk levels a pleading gaze on him.

His eyes shut on their own when Taehyung’s hand presses to the front of his pants.

With a heavy breath in, Taehyung pushes up, crawling on top of Jeongguk. He presses his palm up against the growing outline of his cock in his sweatpants.

“Wait."

Jeongguk’s fingers curl around Taehyung’s wrist.

“What’s wrong, Guk?”

“Can we- Can we get under the blankets?” He looks down at where Taehyung’s hand rests against the hem of his pants. “Please?”

Taehyung levels a scrutinising gaze on him for one moment before he nods slowly.

Jeongguk pulls the blankets as high as they can go. Taehyung sits hovering above him. The sheets fall from his shoulders, leaving Jeongguk’s bare chest exposed to his vision. He rests his hands on his abdomen, covering the spots where his fading muscles are visible. Taehyung doesn’t comment even though Jeongguk is sure he must notice how pathetic he looks right now, just resumes pushing his sweatpants down in the darkness between their bodies, all the while levelling an intense gaze on Jeongguk that does nothing to calm his nerves.

“You need to relax,” he observes as his fingers brush the head of his cock. “Sex is supposed to be fun. Not a time that you spend over-thinking.”

“I’m fine,” he answers, pulling his arms around himself more tightly.

“You’re too tense. You did the same thing the other day. You were thinking so much that you couldn’t get hard. You’re not letting yourself enjoy this.”

“What’s there to enjoy?” He snaps, hackles rising. “You’re a total stranger in my bed jerking me off right-”

“Cut the bullshit, Jeongguk.” Taehyung leans closer, eyes shining bright with something far too intense, far too potent for Jeongguk, but he can’t look away because he gets closer and closer and, “Just stop.”

Taehyung kisses him, a firm and unrelenting pressure that has Jeongguk gasping into his mouth. He seems unphased, instead taking the opportunity to bite down on his lip, his hand trailing over Jeongguk’s shaft. He’s having trouble deciding which of the sensations he should focus on, which one is more intense. One makes his loins clench with pleasure, makes his muscles tighten all the way to his toes, while the other makes his head spin, makes something in his chest flutter with loud, clumsy wings.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me back?” Taehyung asks against his lips. Jeongguk groans before leaning up to meet his lips, pressing their mouths together ineptly. Their teeth click together. Jeongguk is about to apologise, but Taehyung silently changes his angle before diving back down. All the while his hand moves over his rapidly hardening erection, tugging and pulling at the sensitive skin until Jeongguk is breathing heavily into his mouth.

It's awkward. Jeongguk is no expert at kissing and is experiencing his second ever handjob. To say he's overwhelmed is an understatement. Taehyung must realise this, for he gives up on getting Jeongguk to kiss him properly. When he comes, his jaw growing slack, his mouth parting to allow hefty breaths through, his head digging back into the pillow, teeth clenched, Taehyung smiles into his lips. He pulls back and kisses his jawline instead, hand twisting ruthlessly, milking Jeongguk until he’s biting his tongue to stop himself from moaning aloud. The little grunts that escape him sound ugly and strained, but he’s helpless to stop them when Taehyung won’t stop, doesn’t stop until Jeongguk shudders and clutches at his hand, forcing him still.

“Don’t turn all awkward on me, okay? There’s no need,” Taehyung says, hand covered in Jeongguk’s cum hovering between them. Jeongguk blushes so intensely that he swears it’s casting a reddened glow over Taehyung’s smiling face. “I’m an incubus, Jeongguk. I’ve seen it all before.”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk pushes at his bare chest. When Taehyung shifts, he feels what is undoubtedly his own hard length pressing into his thigh. Jeongguk freezes underneath him, eyes bugging as he squeaks.

“Um,” he manages to force out, “do you want me to…?”

Taehyung laughs loudly, tipping his head back.

“That’s okay, Guk. Let’s not overwhelm you just yet.” He moves back, taking the sheets with him. Jeongguk sits up and pulls his pillow over his chest. “Wait until we start your lessons tomorrow for that.”

“Lessons?”

“Well, it seems as though we’re doing this now, aren’t we?” Taehyung shrugs, glancing down at his still tainted hand. “I might as well start doing what I came here to do. Since you’re way too awkward to be ravished just yet, I should start helping you become a better partner in bed.”

“Right,” Jeongguk says over a swallow. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

 

--

 

Tomorrow starts with gym, like it always does. Taehyung comes along, just to be safe. He doesn’t bring up the lessons and Jeongguk is relieved by this. He’s sort of hoping it will never come up. Maybe Taehyung can just give him handjobs once a day for the rest of his life. It sort of sucks, (not something Jeongguk thought he’d ever think about handjobs) but at least that way Jeongguk won’t have to do anything. He has zero experience, but still, he’s pretty sure he won’t be any good at it, even with an Incubus’ guidance.

When he finishes at the gym, he tells Taehyung he’s going to go straight to class even though class doesn't start for an hour. Taehyung takes one look at his sweaty clothes and his glistening forehead and raises an eyebrow before nodding. If anyone in the lecture hall notices the less than desirable odour coming from his gym bag, they don’t comment.

“Are you hungry? I feel like getting a snack.”

“I don’t need to eat, Jeongguk,” Taehyung answers flatly. “You know, like I haven’t eaten for the whole month that I’ve been here.”

“I was just being polite.” Jeongguk lifts his bag onto his shoulder, balancing his books in the other arm. “I really want something to eat, so.”

“That’s fine,” Taehyung acquiesces. “I’ll just watch you eat.”

And he does. Jeongguk feels rather uncomfortable as he slurps down some ramen, Taehyung’s sharp gaze on him the entire time. When he finishes he pulls his phone out and goes through his Snapchat. When he has watched everyone’s stories through a second time, he puts his phone down and says,

“Hey, we should go out and do something. Like, something fun. All you ever do is stay in my room. You must be bored.”

“Not really.” Taehyung shrugs, head resting on one hand, gaze drifting to the window. “As I've already told you, I got used to filling in time thousands of years ago. When you’re immortal, you don’t really get bored. You just shut down while time passes.”

“That sounds… really depressing.”

“Maybe.” Taehyung sits back, stretching. Something pops in his back and he groans. Jeongguk stares at his throat, the way it shifts when he yawns. He looks away just before Taehyung glances back at him. “Okay then, let’s do something.”

Jeongguk takes him to the river. They walk along it until they reach a bridge, crossing and walking back on the other side. They pass a Boba shop, Jeongguk convincing Taehyung to try some. He does, admitting that he has never had any before. Jeongguk watches the way his eyes sparkle when he takes his first sip, can’t help but grin when Taehyung jumps on the spot and asks him to show him some more foods.

“You know, I’ve never spent so much time on earth before,” Taehyung says as they meander back along the river, donuts in hand. It had been the demon’s favourite snack they tried, so much so that he bought another one (that Jeongguk bought for him with Jeongguk’s money). “Every time I’ve been up here, I only ever stay for a day or two. Three at the most, depending on the request.” He looks over to Jeongguk with a wide smile. “It’s nice. I’m enjoying having a little break from Hell.”

“What’s it like down there, anyway?” Jeongguk, who has long finished his own donut, stares while Taehyung takes a huge bite of his and moans. He shifts his pile of books in his arms, gym bag weighing heavy on his shoulder. 

“What do you think it’s like?” He asks, crumbs flying from his mouth as the dough dissolves over his tongue.

“Fire. People screaming. Pain. Hot.”

Taehyung giggles, cheeks round and full.

“You’re thinking of the Lake of Fire. That’s the punishment place, the religious one. Hell is just the name of the place where demons chill out. Sort of like a place in-between here and the Lake of Fire. It’s nothing like you’re picturing. It’s sort of like earth, only it’s a lot smaller. There’s no fire, but most stuff is red. Like the trees are permanently in their autumn phase. It’s really pretty.”

“So, are there other demons beside Incu-busses?”

“Incubi,” Taehyung corrects, swallowing the last of his donut and looking down at the packaging with a pout. “Yes, there are hundreds that do all kinds of things.”

“Like what? What other kind of demons are there?”

“You know, mischief makers, bringers of ill-fortune, familiars, all of that lot. You’ve got your big seven, Lust and Greed and Wrath, and all that. They’re assholes. They think they’re so cool because they get their own names. Belial and Abaddon are a lot nicer, since not as many humans know about them so they’re not stuck up their own ass.”

Jeongguk nods like he has any idea what Taehyung is talking about.

“How many different incu-busses are there?”

“There are about one hundred of us. One hundred succubi too. Back a few thousand years ago there were a lot more of us, since humans tended to know about us and were calling on us a lot more often. Nowadays I could go years without a request.”

“Where did they all go then?”

“They came to earth,” Taehyung answers, eyes trailing after a puppy that trots by on a leash before they return to Jeongguk. “They sold their immortality to the devil because they were sick of eternity.”

“Whoa,” he breathes out. “You can do that? What happens?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung chuckles at his bug-eyes before turning to face ahead of them. “What happens depends on how the big guy is feeling. Once he let someone go pretty much free and didn’t touch them. Another time he let a succubus live on earth only to set a mischief-maker on her. She got killed two days after arriving on earth. Car crash.”

Jeongguk gapes at him, horrified.

“That’s- that’s awful…”

“I mean, it is the devil. He’s not famous for being nice.”

“But still, don’t you guys have a happy ending?”

“Such an optimist,” Taehyung says with a snort. “I’m not sure, Guk. Maybe some of us do. Maybe it depends on how we lived while we had eternity in our hands. If you take that for granted, why should the devil grant you any other wish? He gave you immortality only for you to reject it. I can see why he does some of the shit that he does.”

Jeongguk peers at him, head cocked, but Taehyung keeps his head down. Sensing the need for a change in the flow of the conversation, Jeongguk hums and then asks,

“So, how old are you exactly?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung admits. Something dark shadows over his face as he stares down at the cracks in the pavement. “I’ve existed since the beginning of time. I just am and I always will be. Assuming you don’t kill me.” He turns to Jeongguk with a nonchalant grin. “You’re the first human- actually, the first being in general who has ever threatened my life, you know.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Jeongguk smirks. “You’re so annoying. There’s no way someone hasn’t tried to kill you before.”

“Cheeky.” Taehyung gently knocks his shoulder into Jeongguk’s. “Usually they’re too busy having sex with me to find out what my personality is like. Consider yourself privileged.”

“It’s truly an honour.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes. He sobers up, looks sidelong at Taehyung to say, “Still. It’s kind of weird to think you’ve existed forever. Even when I’m dead you’ll still exist. Isn’t that kind of strange to think about?”

Taehyung nods, grimacing.

“But we’re friends anyway, right?”

Jeongguk glances over, meeting his eyes. They’re shining with something, something happy and something sad.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” he says with a mock-sigh. “I’m stuck with you either way.”

“Hm, you love it,” Taehyung sings as he skips ahead.

They near the university campus, the sun beginning its descent in the sky.

“Do you want to go and see a movie?” He keeps his chin close to his chest, mindful that there are more people around than there were before and he doesn’t want to be known as the crazy guy on campus who talks to himself. “I bet you’ve never been in a cinema before.”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung steps in front of him, making him falter on the path. “You smell bad. Your arm looks like it’s going to fall off if you try to carry all of that stuff any further. Stop stalling. Let’s just go back to your dorm.”

Jeongguk frowns, but a group of girls passes them in that moment, so he quietly mumbles to himself, “I’m not stalling.”

“I mean, whatever. You can call it what you like. The point is that it’s almost sunset. Let’s just go back. We can go to the cinema tomorrow if you like.”

With that, he starts walking onwards towards Jeongguk’s dorm block, giving him no opportunity to argue back. Jeongguk reluctantly follows along. His arms are aching from lugging his books and gym bag around, but he thought he’d been doing a good job of concealing that. Apparently not.

In the dorm, Jeongguk quickly excuses himself, running straight into the bathroom to shower, his self-consciousness catching up with him. He takes his time, washing every part of his body twice, just to be thorough. When the water has turned so cold that he’s shaking, he turns it off. Outside, he towels his body until it’s completely dry, even going so far as to steal Jimin’s hair dryer and style his hair, something he never does.

Eventually, after he has brushed his teeth, combed his hair and used one of Yoongi’s facemasks (that last one just for fun) he grudgingly leaves the bathroom.

He’s hoping Taehyung might be asleep by the time he returns. Unfortunately, he’s not. He’s sitting on the bed, staring out of the window into the pitch black night. He sits up straighter when Jeongguk enters the room.

“Not stalling, huh?”

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Jeongguk answers as he closes the door behind him.

“I think you wasted enough water to quench the thirst of a thousand dying African children.” Taehyung pushes himself forward on the bed while Jeongguk walks over to the wardrobe to close the door that is sitting open.

“It’s chlorinated water anyway. It’s not safe for drinking.”

“Jeongguk, it’s okay to be nervous,” Taehyung’s voice is close behind him, and getting closer. Jeongguk freezes where he stands before the wardrobe. “I’m not going to do anything that you’re not willing for me to do.”

“I know- I just… I’ve never…”

“Jeongguk, what’s the furthest you’ve ever gotten with a person?”

“What?” He turns around, shocked by the sudden question, by Taehyung’s curious tone.

“What’s the furthest you’ve ever gotten with someone, sexually?” He repeats. “Besides me. With a human.”

Jeongguk swallows.

“There was this girl in high school. We- We kissed. I touched her- her- you know…”

“Boobs?”

“Her chest. She touched me a little. That was it.”

“Be more detailed. Tell me what happened specifically.”

“It wasn’t anything special,” he mutters, looking down at the carpet, kicking at it with his toe. “We were making out in her bedroom and she grabbed my hands and put them on her. I didn’t really know what to do so I just- I just squeezed them a little. Then she grabbed my dick and started jerking me off, but her little sister came into the room and we stopped.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah,” he answers, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. “That’s it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung says, hearing his inner-thoughts. “There are people on this earth who are eighty years old who have never even kissed someone before. You’re not special, believe me.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, just harrumphs.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Taehyung says, stepping around Jeongguk and moving towards the wardrobe. He opens the door that Jeongguk just closed. “We’re not going to do anything that I haven’t done before and you won’t need to do anything. You don’t need to touch me or anything, so you can relax.”

Relax Jeongguk does. While he's still apprehensive about whatever it is that Taehyung is planning, he has spent the entire day stressing over the idea of having to touch another person. He doesn't have a clue how to give pleasure to someone else. There's no way he won't mess it up, won't make it horrible somehow. The fact that Taehyung is a guy isn't even the problem, even though Jeongguk is straight and definitely not interested in touching another man's penis. He's far more concerned about how much of a fool he'd make of himself. It sounds like that won't happen today though, so he breathes out, letting himself relax.

He tenses right up again when Taehyung turns to him and says, “Strip.”

“Huh?” He steps back, hands wrapping protectively around his waist. “No.”

“Jeongguk, one day someone is going to see you naked. It’s bound to happen. You’ve clearly got issues with that, so that’s what we’re going to work on.”

“What- I don’t have-”

“Why are you a virgin?”

Feeling dizzy with the constant subject changes, Jeongguk's stomach flips inside of him.

“What do you mean?” He frowns. “That’s a dumb question. I’m a virgin because I’ve never had sex before.”

“But why haven’t you had sex before? Are you telling me that the opportunity has never once arisen? You never saw that girl again? You never had anyone who was interested in you?”

“I don’t know,” he stammers. “I haven’t-”

“You’re in college. Everyone here wants to have sex,” Taehyung presses. Jeongguk once again steps backwards as he steps forwards. “Don’t tell me it’s because you’re waiting for the right person. If that were true, I wouldn’t be here. The request couldn’t have been filled unless you wanted it. So, you must want to have sex, but the question is, why haven’t you? Haven’t you ever been to a party before? Never had a drunken encounter with someone?”

“I don’t want to,” Jeongguk snaps, hands flying to Taehyung's shoulders to shove him back, giving himself some breathing room. Taehyung barely stumbles, but he does allow some space between them. “I don’t want to have sex.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it.”

“I’m not-”

“Come here.”

Jeongguk is so on edge at this point that he stumbles forward when Taehyung gestures for him to, falling right into his hold. Taehyung smiles as he moves him forward until he’s standing in front of the tall mirror on the back of the wardrobe door. Jeongguk’s gaze meets his reflection’s wide-eyed one.

"You're so nervous that you're not going to be a good partner in bed that you haven't allowed yourself an opportunity to sleep with anyone, am I right?" Taehyung doesn't wait for him to answer, continues with, "And you're nervous that your partner will find you unattractive, yes?"

"I guess..."

Taehyung rests his chin on Jeongguk's shoulder, standing close behind him.

“You don’t like how you look?”

Jeongguk glances from his too large nose, from his messy hair, from the baby fat on his cheeks that he can never get rid of no matter how hard he tries, to Taehyung’s dark eyes that are set firmly on his own.

He shakes his head.

“But you’re so pretty, Jeonggukkie,” Taehyung says, a hand trailing up his chest until it rests under his chin, holding his head steady. Jeongguk’s breath catches as he watches Taehyung turn to look at him closely.  

“You’re just saying that,” he murmurs.

“I’m really not. It’s such a shame that you have such low self-confidence. If you knew how nice you looked, you’d be wrecking girls and guys all over the campus.” His fingers trace along his jawline. “You’re a very attractive guy.”

“You’re lying,” he says. “I have bad skin and I look too bug-eyed. Look at you,” he gestures to Taehyung in the mirror. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m an other-worldly being,” he deadpans. “I was designed to be perfect. But you’re human. You have pimples on your skin and bags under your eyes and you’re attractive in spite of all that. Maybe even because of that.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, but Taehyung seems to be moving on, since his hands trail down along his shoulders, down the front of his chest until they reach the hem of his shirt. He begins pulling it up.

Jeongguk’s hands fly down to hold it in place.

“Please don’t.”

“What are you so afraid of?” Taehyung frowns over his shoulder. “Do you really think I’m going to judge you or laugh at you?”

“No, I’m just- I’m not hot like you are.” He tugs his shirt further down, eyes flickering down to his toes. “I need to work out more first.”

Taehyung’s laughter warms over his ear like a summer breeze.

“You already go to the gym way too much, Guk. Look at this,” he pulls one of his arms up, making Jeongguk follow his finger as it points out one of the larger veins that snakes its way down the surface of his skin. “That’s scary as shit. Even my arms don’t do that and I’m supernaturally muscled.”

“I- I don’t-”

“I can’t believe that you have literally no clue how hot you are. Don’t you notice how many people stare at you when you’re at the gym?”

“They’re just checking my form,” he says quietly. “I’m probably not doing it right and they just-”

“Silly boy,” Taehyung hums against his ear. “You’re beautiful and don’t even realise it. But I’ll show you. May I?”

He tugs at the bottom of his shirt again.

Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut.

Taehyung is nice. Taehyung won’t laugh. Taehyung won’t leave because you’re ugly.

He nods.

He feels the fabric pulling from his skin, feels the cool air as he raises his arms up, hears the soft thud as the shirt hits the floor somewhere. He keeps his eyes closed as Taehyung trails his fingers over his ribcage, spreading goosebumps over his skin.

“God, you’re so pretty,” he whispers. “So fucking cute and so fucking hot at the same time. Look at these abs.”

His hand clenches over Jeongguk’s abdomen. He shakes as he flexes, tenses, tries to make the muscles seem as impressive as possible.

“They’re not- they used to be better. I’ve been slacking. I’ll make them nicer.”

“Hm, they’re nice like they are now. You can do whatever you like with your body though. Just don’t hurt yourself. Even if you had a flabby belly here, that would be fine. It would probably make you even cuter.”

“She said that-”

“What?” Taehyung leans closer to him. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Jeongguk says. “You keep going.”

“No, I want to hear. Tell me what happened, Guk.” Taehyung grabs his chin, making him turn his head to meet his eyes in person. “Please?”

Jeongguk stares at him for a moment before wrenching out of his grasp. He looks down at the floor as he speaks.

“She told everyone that I had a bad body. Afterwards. At school, everyone was talking about me. They said- She said that I had a- that my- you know…” He scowls as he feels his cheeks flushing. Wishes he wasn’t so unbearably awkward, that he could just man up and say these things without getting overwhelmed with embarrassment. “She told everyone that I didn’t know what I was doing and that my dick was too small. Everyone made fun of me. No one wanted to date me after that.”

“That’s all?” Taehyung rests his chin on his shoulder. “That’s why you’re so shy?” Jeongguk glares down at his feet. “So, what if your dick is small? That doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” Jeongguk growls. “Stop being so positive, it’s annoying.”

“I’m just telling the truth. Even if your dick was small – which it isn’t by the way – that doesn’t matter. Only immature people think that it does.” When Jeongguk doesn’t respond, Taehyung’s hands slip down to his pants. “Can I see?”

Jeongguk swallows heavily, nods once and then closes his eyes again.

Taehyung pulls his pants and underwear off in one fell swoop, leaving Jeongguk gasping as the cold air hits him much more unpleasantly than the first time. His hands fly down to cover himself, but Taehyung isn’t looking there.

“Oh my god,” he’s saying from where he's still crouched behind him. “Your fucking thighs, holy shit.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk hisses, reaching back with one hand to push his head away. Taehyung stumbles back with the force of his shove. “Don’t make fun of me.”

But Taehyung ignores him, something dark in his eyes when he says, “God, you have the nicest thighs. I want to take a photo of your ass and thighs and frame it.”

“Stop it!” He snaps, but he finds himself laughing as Taehyung gets up. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m an Incubus. Sorry, but I have a one-track mind.” Taehyung smiles at him in the mirror, coming back to stand behind him. “Now, where were we?”

Jeongguk clutches his hand over his soft length, tries to hide everything as best as he can. Taehyung’s fingers flutter over his thighs, leaving chills in their wake.

“What don’t you like about yourself down here?” He asks. Jeongguk keeps his eyes pointed at the ground.

“I don’t like anything,” he answers quietly. “My skin, my legs. It’s all ugly.” 

“What do you think makes your legs ugly?” Taehyung furrows his brows, lips moving against his shoulder. Jeongguk hunches himself in, only now realising that Taehyung is fully clothed while he is completely bare. He would ask him to undress, but he just knows he’d look perfect naked. He’d make Jeongguk look even worse in comparison. “They’re just legs.”

“Look,” he grabs his wandering fingers with his free hand and, with a surge of defiance that gives him a brief wave of confidence, he drags his hand to the inside of his thighs, “I have stretchmarks here.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, finger tracing over the slight divot of the largest mark, “you and every other person who has ever lost or gained weight. You’re still not special, Jeongguk.”

“There’s hair there,” he rebuts.

“…And?”

“I don’t like it.”

“If you don’t like it, get rid of it.” Taehyung laughs again, deep tone ringing in his ear.

“It’s- it’s too much work,” Jeongguk mumbles.

“Do you really not like it, or are you just afraid that someone else won’t like it?”

Jeongguk looks away from the mirror, over to the side. He swallows around a lump in his throat, feeling ashamed of himself. 

“You’re totally normal for worrying about these things, even though you really shouldn’t. Your society has made you believe that the most natural parts of your body are unsightly. If demons lived on earth, society would probably try to convince us that our wings are ugly and that we should hide them. But these things are natural.” His fingers trail back and forth over the inner skin of his thighs, Jeongguk breathing heavily through his mouth as Taehyung’s hands brush against his own, still protecting his most private area. “If you want to get rid of your body hair or improve your muscles for your sake, then do it. But don’t do it because you think someone else will like you better. A person who really loves you won’t care about those things.”

Jeongguk hasn’t got any snappy responses to that, especially not when he looks up and meets Taehyung’s big, sincere eyes in the mirror. He nods instead, unblinking.

Taehyung’s hand brushes over his own.

“Let me see your cock.”

Jeongguk's jaw drops, allowing a strangled squeak to fall from his mouth.

“What’s wrong with you?” He hisses, hand tightening in place. “No.”

“C’mon, Jeongguk, we’ve come so far. Don’t freak out on me now.”

“I know, I just- It’s not hard,” he explains, pushing at Taehyung’s hand to stop him from moving any closer.

“I don’t care. I’m not going to make fun of you, even if you have the ugliest, most deformed penis on earth.” Taehyung smiles at him over his shoulder. “I promise. If you want, I won’t even react. I’ll keep completely neutral. Come on, Guk.”

“Promise you won’t say anything?”

“Promise, Gukkie.”

So Jeongguk, wincing, slowly pulls his shaking hand away from his genitals. He yet again squeezes his eyes shut as he balls his hands into fists by his sides. There is only silence and, after a moment, he squints his eyes open.

“Well?” He snaps, face flushed. “Say something!”

Taehyung giggles, eyes crinkling as he laughs.

“You made me promise not to say anything, and now you want me to? Make up your mind, angel.”

Jeongguk squirms, frowning at him.

“Just- just say something.”

He swears he sees Taehyung rolling his eyes, but he leans in and says, “Your dick is completely normal, Guk. Nothing to worry about.”

“You hate it,” he hisses. “You think it’s ugly.”

“Jeongguk!” He laughs again, louder now, mirth in his eyes as he clutches at his shoulders. “It’s fine! It’s just a dick. There’s nothing special about it.”

Jeongguk pouts.

“I meant,” Taehyung says now, with a sigh, “there’s nothing particularly eye-catching which is probably a good thing. It’s just a regular dick. Not to mention, a soft one. No one has a dick that looks nice when it’s soft. It’s just a fact.”

“How am I supposed to get hard when you’re staring at me naked?” He snaps, embarrassment making his skin warm.

“Some people would. It’s called exhibitionism, which you’re clearly not into.” Taehyung’s hands trail up to his abdomen while he speaks, up over the skin of his ribcage.

“What are you doing?” Jeongguk stammers, tensing as his long fingers continue sliding up until they reach his nipples.

“I want to see your cock when it’s hard,” he says, turning his head so that his lips press against his ear again. “Wanna see how pretty it gets.”

“Stop,” Jeongguk whines, pulling his head away. Taehyung pinches his nipples lightly, making him gasp, lips parting. “Taehyung…”

“You’re such a pretty boy,” his deep voice rings in his ear as his fingers pull gently at the dark pink nubs. “So easy to rile up.”

“I’m not…” But the words die long before he can get them out. Instead he clamps his lips closed and focuses on breathing evenly through his nose, not letting Taehyung see how weirdly nice whatever it is that he's doing feels.

“Do you ever touch yourself here, angel?”

“N-no,” he stammers, pressing back into his chest. “S’weird.”

“Hm.” Taehyung hums. He scratches a nail gently over the very tip of his left nipple, catching Jeongguk off-guard, making him flinch and bite his lip. “You think it’s weird to touch yourself here? But you’re getting so turned on.”

Indeed, Jeongguk can feel the blood rushing down to his loins, see his cock slowly kicking up, reddening, flushing as it hardens. His hands fly up to Taehyung’s arms for something to grip onto as he rubs the pads of his fingers over the sensitive tips.

“So hot,” Taehyung murmurs. “I can’t wait to see how lovely and wrecked you look underneath me. Such a needy baby.”

“I’m not… needy…” Jeongguk says in-between gasps, biting onto his tongue to stop a moan from escaping.

“Silly,” Taehyung coos, pinching both nipples at once, hard. It makes Jeongguk’s back arc. “You’re so silly, Jeongguk. I have so many things I need to teach you about yourself. Don’t worry, when I’m done you won’t hold yourself back from me anymore. You won’t be afraid to show me how whiny and needy you are.”

“Taehyung,” he hisses, nails digging into the skin of his arm. “I’m-”

“Look at how hard you are.” One hand continues pinching and pulling his nipple while the other slides down to his cock, light grip pulling it away from his body so that Taehyung can cast his eye over it. “Wow.” His breath fans over Jeongguk’s shoulder. “I knew you’d be pretty.”

“You’re- you’re just saying that,” Jeongguk whispers, scrambling in his hold.

“I’m not, Jeongguk.” His voice makes Jeongguk look away from the mirror, turning back to look Taehyung in the eyes. “You look so lovely right now. All of you.”

Taehyung kisses him, hand still torturing his nipple, other hand coming back up to join it. Jeongguk whimpers into his mouth but remains frozen until Taehyung pulls away.

“So cute,” Taehyung murmurs, turning his head to look at his cock in the mirror, a hand returning to grip at it. He runs a thumb over the head, through the slick slit. “You’re leaking so much, angel. Just from having your nipples played with?”

“Sorry!” Jeongguk cringes. “It’s just-”

“Stop it,” Taehyung admonishes. “Stop it, Guk. You’re fine.”

He sounds irritated, Jeongguk thinks. He winces as Taehyung's hands still on his body.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. He knows that he would be tired of himself if he were Taehyung. Constantly whining about how unattractive he is, not letting Taehyung go a second without having to compliment him to make him feel better. “I know I’m really annoying. You must be sick of me.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung mutters to himself, hands disappearing from Jeongguk’s body. Jeongguk feels the sting of tears at the back of his eyes, realises that he just fucked everything up as Taehyung steps away from him. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut and just accepted his compliments? What is wrong with him?

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out another apology, one frustrated tear rolling down his cheek. He angrily wipes it away, lips twisting into a scowl. “I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”

Taehyung sighs.

“I was sort of hoping that I wouldn’t need to do this,” he says from behind him. Jeongguk keeps still, facing the mirror, too afraid of what he’ll see if he turns around, too afraid that Taehyung will look angry, or disappointed, or disgusted.

Taehyung reaches a hand around and holds it over Jeongguk’s mouth, making him tense up. He grunts under his firm holds, wants to ask what he’s doing or apologise for talking so much that Taehyung felt the need to shut him up, but his lips remain pressed shut under his touch.

“Sorry, Gukkie.” Taehyung smiles at him in the mirror as he pulls his hand away. “I would’ve told you about this earlier, but it hasn’t come up yet.”

Jeongguk goes to ask Taehyung what he’s talking about except his lips stay firmly pressed together and his words come out as nothing more than muffled sounds that die on his tongue. He raises his head to meet Taehyung’s gaze, swallowing, a vague form of panic flaring up when he attempts to open his mouth again with no result.

“I am a demon, Jeongguk, in case you forgot. I have all kinds of tricks up my sleeve.” Taehyung watches him carefully, eyes trained on his. “I don’t like to use them very often, but you’re distracting me from my work. Since I don’t want to try to pleasure you with just one hand, this is the only way. I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk stares at him with impossibly wide eyes, more muffled sounds ringing in his throat. There’s a pressure over his mouth, a warmth like Taehyung’s hand is still there, but he can both feel and see Taehyung’s hands at his chest, fingers pinching at his nipples again, so it can’t be the case.

"I have many supernatural abilities. This one is more basic. Just a form of telekinesis. Sort of like a phantom hand, I suppose, except it's mine. It doesn't really have a name. But it's pretty cool, hey?"

Jeongguk manages to make his next muffled noise sound threatening enough that Taehyung laughs.

“Now, where was I, hm?” Taehyung returns behind him, chest pressing to his back. He rests his chin back on his shoulder so that he can watch him in the mirror. “Oh, I remember. I was talking about how cute you are, leaking so much for me.” He drops one hand to grab his cock again, one finger trailing through the copious fluid leaking from the slit. Jeongguk pants through his nose, strangled noises caught in his mouth as he blushes. “Your cock is so pretty,” Taehyung observes as he continues rolling his left nipple between his thumb and his forefinger. “Look at it, all red and hard just for me. Hm? It’s hard for me, isn’t it?”

Jeongguk glares at him in the mirror. Taehyung laughs in his ear.

“I’m just teasing, baby.” He wraps his hand around his shaft firmly and then tugs once. Jeongguk moans in his throat. “You’re so hot, Jeongguk, so fucking attractive.”

He starts jerking him off, fist twisting around his length, gathering the fluid that leaks from the slit. Jeongguk’s knees weaken, pleasure coursing through him like jolts of electricity, making him tip his head back, making him groan. He feels Taehyung’s lips on his neck, sucking at the skin. Jeongguk flinches, wants to tell him not to leave marks, but he can’t, can only whimper as Taehyung nibbles at his neck harshly.

He takes no pleasure in teasing him, hand moving up and down rapidly over Jeongguk’s shaft. Jeongguk can sense the pressure building in his groin, can feel how wet he’s becoming, knows the pre-come is surely leaking over Taehyung’s hand. He doesn’t seem to mind, keeps whispering things in his ear about how messy he is, how hot he is.

He’s getting close. He wants to warn Taehyung. The silver-haired man seems to realise intuitively.

“You going to come, baby?” He coos in his ear, twisting his hand around the base. “Look,” he says, grabbing him by the chin with his free hand and pulling his head down. “Look at yourself.”

Jeongguk reluctantly does as he’s told, casting his eyes over himself in the mirror. He looks a complete and total mess. His hair has somehow matted itself to his forehead, sweat glistening over the ridge of his brows. His entire face looks strained, probably because he's still desperately trying to open his mouth against the invisible pressure that holds it closed. His body is tipped pink, his nipples puffy, abused. His chest is heaving as he breathes through his nose, in time with the thrusts of Taehyung's hand, the reddened head of his cock appearing through his enclosed fist. 

“You look so lovely,” Taehyung says, eyes intense on his reflection. “All flushed and fucked out for me. Aren’t you?”

Jeongguk whines as an answer, hips kicking forward.

“That’s right, pretty, you look so good right now. No one would be able to resist you like this, all whiny and needy and perfect.”

Taehyung…

“Your cute little nipples all red from being toyed with.” His fingers trail over one of them, making him flinch and shiver. “Nice and hard and pretty, hm?”

Tae- Tae, fuck.

“And your lovely cock, so hard in my hand.” Jeongguk fucks into his fist, eyes falling closed. “Your pretty slit, weeping and wet. You’re all strung out, aren’t you, angel?”  

Taehyung, I’m gonna…

“Come for me, pretty boy,” he murmurs in his ear, hand coming up to lay over his lips. “Come for me.”

He pulls his hand away, the invisible pressure leaving with it. Jeongguk’s mouth falls open, a loud moan escaping before he can quell it as his orgasm rips through him like a wildfire. Taehyung holds him, one arm wrapped around his chest, steadying him. His other hand doesn’t slow on his cock, jerking him quickly until he’s trembling, whining, cum shooting out over his fingers, over the floor.

“Tae,” he whimpers out, hips juddering. “Tae- shit, Tae.”

“There you go, pretty,” Taehyung croons, kissing his ear. “You did so well, baby.”

“Stop,” Jeongguk pleads, voice cracking. Taehyung takes his hand away. He lifts it up to Jeongguk’s lips, cum sliding over his palm.

“Lick?” He offers as a question. Jeongguk gasps, wriggling in his hold, reaching up with jelly limbs to shove his hand away.

“No! Gross.”

“More for me,” he says with a shrug, pulling his hand back towards his own mouth.

“What? Stop it!” Jeongguk swirls around, grabbing his wrist and holding his hand with his own. “Don’t do that,” he hisses.

Taehyung looks into his eyes while he leans down, running his tongue along his palm where it’s trapped in Jeongguk’s hold. Jeongguk watches in horror as he collects as much of the fluid as he can and then swallows it, eyes gleaming.

“That’s disgusting,” he mutters, turning away.

“How would you know? You didn’t taste any.”

“It’s semen. It doesn’t taste good.”

“It does in the right context.”

Jeongguk chooses not to argue any further, instead grabbing for his discarded clothes and quickly pulling them on. Once clothed, he feels a lot less uneasy as he grabs a rag (read: dirty boxers that were in the laundry pile) and uses them to wipe up his mess. He’s not interested in having crusted stains on his carpet that everyone who ever visits him will immediately assume is cum, not realising they’re correct. All the while, his cheeks burn red. All the while, Taehyung stands off to the side and watches him.

When he’s finished cleaning up and there is nothing left to distract himself with, he keeps his head tucked down while he walks over to his bed. He can feel eyes on him, watching him.

“Jeongguk, please don’t make this awkward.”

Jeongguk opens his mouth to answer, but he has nothing. Instead he slumps back onto the bed and throws an arm over his eyes.

“I can’t believe I did that.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Taehyung points out.

“I let you see me naked.”

“Yes, and? It really wasn’t that big of a deal. Stop trying to make it one.”

“But… you saw me…”

The bed dips beside him. Jeongguk peeks out from under his arm to see Taehyung looking at him with a frown.

“Jeongguk, I’m not sure what you want from me. Every time I compliment you, you tell me that I’m lying. But, every time I tell you something relatively neutral, like when I told you that your dick was perfectly average, you looked like I punched you in the gut.”

And, fuck-

“I’m- I’m sorry,” he whispers as he feels tears leaking from his eyes. He quickly covers his face again. He tries to keep his voice even when he says, “I don’t know why I’m like this.” Tries to breathe in slowly so that Taehyung doesn’t hear him sniffling, doesn’t find out that he’s crying like a pussy because he’s such a whiny, attention-seeking, annoying child.

There’s silence from Taehyung. It makes it harder for Jeongguk to keep up his façade, harder to pretend he’s okay in the quiet.

“You’re so cute,” Taehyung finally groans out. “It’s killing me.”

The bed dips further. Jeongguk, curiosity winning him over, lifts his arm just ever so slightly to see Taehyung laying down beside him. He squeaks when the demon slides up next to him, curling up against his body. He throws his arm over his chest, pulling him close, tucks one of his legs over the top of his legs and hooks it over them.

“What are you doing?” He asks, taking a shuddery breath in just as Taehyung rests his head on his shoulder. It means he can’t see that Jeongguk is crying, so the other hesitantly lets his arm drop. It happens to fall around Taehyung, but it's a mere coincidence. Jeongguk can’t be blamed for gravity.

“Cuddling you. Duh. Don’t tell me you’re a virgin cuddler, too.”

He lets out a weak laugh.

“Jimin is my roommate. Of course I’m not.”

“The cute one, right?”

“I don’t know. That depends on which one you think is cute.”

“I think all of your friends are cute. It makes me wonder if good-looking people are magnetically attracted to each other, or something. You all look like models.”

“Coming from you,” Jeongguk grumbles. “You’re literally perfect.”

“Yeah, exactly. I know attractive people when I see them.”

“You sound like Seokjin-hyung now,” Jeongguk says with a giggle. Taehyung doesn’t know his friends well enough to know that that’s sort of an insult, so he just smiles into Jeongguk’s shoulder. Jeongguk’s skin is warm where their bodies meet. He realises that the tears have stopped as he tries to keep his sniffles as quiet as possible.

In the silence, Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung has fallen asleep, laments that they’re curled up together when someone still needs to get up to turn the light off. For a split second he panics, thinking Jimin or Yoongi might see that his light is on if one of them happens to get up, might come in to check on him and find him curled up with some boy. Then, with a startling mixture of relief and disappointment, he remembers that Taehyung doesn’t exist to anyone but himself.

“You know,” Taehyung suddenly speaks up from his shoulder. Jeongguk peeks down at him, only to see the top of his silver hair. It looks so soft from here. Jeongguk is certain that touching Taehyung's hair must be like threading his fingers through a field of dandelions, like running his hands over silk bedsheets. He isn’t sure that he could get away with threading his hands through it, so he settles for staring at it as Taehyung’s lips move against his shirt. “I’ve had sex with a lot of people.”

Jeongguk frowns at his head, wrinkling his nose. Taehyung laughs as though he can see his reaction.

“Hundreds. Probably thousands. It’s my job.” His breath is warm where it seeps into Jeongguk’s clothes, spreading over his clavicle. Warm, but it gives him chills. “I’ve slept with some pretty attractive people. Some ugly ones too. Mostly guys, but plenty of girls too. Old people, young people. People who smelled bad, people who were naturals, people who had no idea what they were doing. Some people tried to pleasure me, some sat there like starfish while I had my way with them. There have been so many that I can barely remember them, and yet, I can think of each individual person’s face if I try to.”

Jeongguk swallows, reaching up with the arm that isn’t wrapped around a demon so that he can rub at his wet eyes.

“Must be nice,” he rasps before clearing his throat.

“Not as nice as you’d think,” Taehyung says, fingers picking at the material of his shirtsleeve. He hums and then says, “Thousands of people, Jeongguk. You’re the first person who I’ve had a real, non-sex-related conversation with.”

“What?” Jeongguk glances back down to the soft tresses of his hair, disbelief on his face. “How is that possible?”

“I spend the entire time on earth fucking the person and then I leave, Jeongguk.” Taehyung laughs drily. “There’s no time for a conversation when you’re trying to give someone a mind-blowing sexual experience. People don’t want to talk and I don’t blame them for that. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

“I guess that’s because I’m such a loser,” Jeongguk mutters. He realises immediately that he’s sounding like he’s trying to throw another self-pity party, so he coughs and continues, “You know, because I’m the first person who has summoned a demon without actually wanting to have sex.”

“Sure, but I’m not talking about that situation,” Taehyung replies. Jeongguk quiets and when Taehyung speaks again, his voice is soft. “I’ve never been in a situation where I got to spend so much time on earth. I’ve never spent so much time with a person before. I’ve never had someone asking questions about me or about my home, laughing at my jokes, taking me for walks along a river, buying me nice food, and letting me see their life. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

Jeongguk’s breath feels solid in his lungs, heavy and awkward. He chokes out a hum as a response, feels the prickle of tears at his eyes again and looks up at the ceiling in an effort to stop them from falling.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything more, just lets his words fall where they may. It’s not like he said anything particularly mind-blowing and yet, Jeongguk feels like he has just been let in on a terrible and haunting secret.

“Thanks,” he manages to grate out into the silence.

Taehyung chuckles, finally shifting, propping himself onto his elbow and lifting his head so that he can look at Jeongguk, who quickly turns his head away.

“I mean, I’m just telling the truth.”

“No,” Jeongguk interjects, “I meant, thanks for before. You know,” he gestures over to the mirror, “that. Thanks.”

“For the orgasm?” Taehyung guesses, smiling lazily in his peripherals.

“Yeah, that,” Jeongguk grunts.

“No problem.”

“Do you want me to, uh…”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Taehyung pats his chest. “Thank you, but you killed my boner a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, crying boys just don’t do it for me, I guess.”

“Oh,” he squeaks, cheeks blotting with pink as he realises that Taehyung probably knew that he was crying right from the start. He scowls to himself. Idiot.

Taehyung merely pats his chest again, something gleaming in his eyes as he looks down at him.

“Sorry for being so annoying,” Jeongguk whispers. “I swear I wasn’t trying to get you to compliment me, or anything like that. I’m just- I don’t have a lot of confidence.”

“I figured that,” Taehyung says, grinning. He reaches up and pokes Jeongguk’s reddened nose with his finger. “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise. I shouldn’t expect you to be any less shy when this is your first time having somebody see this part of you. I think anyone would be shy. But you should know that I’ll never make fun of you, or think little of you, or anything. I’ve slept with some ugly people, Jeongguk. You’re nowhere near the bottom of the list.”

Jeongguk wavers a laugh, rubbing at his eyes.

Taehyung grabs his hand before it falls, holding it in his own. He leans down close, their eyes meeting.

“Jeongguk, I wasn’t lying, nor was I just saying it to make you feel better. You really are beautiful.”

Jeongguk pulls his hand away, skin flushing from the roots of his hair to his shoulders.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

Taehyung giggles before pulling back, snuggling into Jeongguk’s side again. There they fall asleep, on top of the covers, the light still on, Jeongguk’s face stained with tear-tracks and Taehyung’s lips pulled up into a soft smile.

 

Chapter Text

 

Jeongguk reckons that the next morning will be, to put it poetically, awkward as fuck.

It’s a safe bet, considering that it has been awkward after the few other sexual encounters he has had in his life. Not to mention that last night was full of revelations, regardless of the fact that none of them were explicitly spoken out loud.

Also, because it’s Jeongguk. Of course it will be awkward.

He doesn’t have an opportunity to make it awkward though, because when he wakes up Taehyung isn’t there.

He sits up in the bed, rubbing at his face, yawning and stretching. He hates that he knows his face is puffy without even looking in a mirror. It’s not that he has spent many nights crying in his life (except he totally has because he cried when he had to leave his pet goldfish behind to leave for college so, yeah, he secretly cries a lot, shut up) but he knows that his eyes turn very red and swollen and his skin will be pale and blotchy for at least half of the day.

He turns, expects to see that Taehyung is laying on his stomach on the floor, legs kicking up behind him as he peruses the many cute dog videos that the internet has to offer. But he’s not on the carpet and Jeongguk's laptop is right where it was left the day before. Taehyung is absent from the room entirely.

“Tae?” He calls into the room uselessly. Swallowing, he sits up in the bed, looking around for something, anything. There’s no sign of him.

He feels like he’s panicking and he’s not sure why. Taehyung is probably just in the bathroom, even though he doesn’t have human needs and has no use for such a place. Or maybe he went on a walk, even though he has been here in this room every single day that Jeongguk has woken up for the past weeks.

He can’t be gone. Jeongguk doesn’t believe it.

Except, maybe he is. Maybe last night was enough to fulfil his duties and he left.

Suddenly, he feels like crying again. He holds it back though, cursing himself. He should be happy. The annoying demon that was hovering over his shoulder constantly, irritating him, making his life difficult, is gone.

He sits in the silence of his room and smiles. This is good, he thinks. Everything is back to normal. Now his friends will stop being concerned that he has gone crazy and he won’t look weird talking to himself in the hallways and he won’t have to worry about Taehyung seeing any more vulnerable parts of him, and…

This is good.

He clears his throat, sniffles, then stands up. He can hear voices outside, recognises Hoseok’s loud laughter and figures that everyone is visiting. This is good. Now he can go out there and prove that he’s happy that Taehyung is gone and that he’s completely sane and that his friends were silly for thinking anything different.

He takes a deep breath, opens his door and-

Everyone looks up at the sound of the door swinging open. Jeongguk stands in the doorway, staring back, a single tear slipping down his cheek as he feels his fingers trembling against the door frame.

“Jeongguk! Hey!” Hoseok’s smile fades as soon as it’s directed at him. “Uh, hey, are you okay?”

Jeongguk mutters something about an asshole and then turns back into the room, closing the door behind him.

He can hear the silence outside, can hear a soft mumble and then the padding of feet.

“Hey, Guk?” Jimin knocks once before sliding in.

Taehyung sneaks in through the gap behind him, a sheepish smile on his face.

“You okay, buddy?”

“I’m fine.” Jeongguk coughs, shaking his head while he swipes a fist over his eyes. “I just- I had a bad dream and I think it took me a second to fully wake up from it.”

“Oh? That sounds a bit scary. What was it about?”

“Nothing. I don’t remember. I’m fine, Jimin, don’t worry about me, okay?”

“Okay,” he answers softly, a hand reaching up to his shoulder to squeeze it. “You know you can come and talk to me anytime, right? About anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“I know, Guk, I’m just reminding you. I’ll let you get changed. Come out when you’re ready, okay? Today might be the only day we all have free. Let’s have some fun.”

“Okay,” he answers, eyes on the ground. He hears the door opening, closing, and then the conversation outside builds up again.

“Sorry,” Taehyung says as he walks over, “I was just hanging out with your friends. Or, watching them hang out, I guess. They’re really funny. They were so loud. I’m surprised that you weren’t woken up by them. I-”

“When are you leaving?”

“…Huh?” Taehyung stops beside him.

“I said," Jeongguk gulps, fists clenched by his sides, "when are you leaving? When are you going to leave me alone?”

“Jeongguk-”

“Answer the question!” He snaps, looking up and meeting Taehyung’s confused gaze with a fiery glower. Taehyung blinks a few times before he answers.

“I don’t know. That sort of depends on you.”

“Well, when can you leave? What do I need to do to get you to go?”

“Jeongguk, what are you talking about?” Taehyung laughs, grabbing at his shoulder. “Where is this coming from? Are you messing with me?”

“No,” he growls, shoulder tensing under Taehyung's gentle fingers. “I’m sick of this. I hate how fucked up my life has become because of you. Ever since you showed up everything has been crazy. My friends think I’m going insane. People in the hallways look at me weirdly. I can’t wake up without worrying that I’ve come in my underwear!” He purses his lips, keeps his voice low so that his friends don’t hear when he snarls, “I just want you gone.”

There’s silence. The hand falls from his shoulder and then Taehyung speaks, tone jagged.

“I cannot leave until I have fulfilled my duties.”

“Then do it!” Jeongguk dons a sneer. “Stop fucking around and wasting my time.”

“Maybe if you stopped freaking out every time I make even one tiny move on you I’d have already done it!” Taehyung snaps right back, eyes flashing. “How am I supposed to ravish you when I can’t even take your clothes off without you bursting into tears?”

“Shut up!” Jeongguk growls even as his heart clenches. “Asshole. You think I want to have sex with you? It’s maybe the last thing on earth that I want to do. But right now, the number one thing is that I want you out of my life, so let’s just do it so that you can fuck off already.”

“I’m not having sex with you when you’re like this, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, crossing his arms. “You’re clearly unhinged.”

Jeongguk surges forward, fingers clawing at Taehyung’s biceps, pushing him back. He’s taken off-guard, so he stumbles into the wall with no returning force. Jeongguk presses him right back until he’s pinned and then moves forward until his body is flush with Taehyung's.

“Do it, you coward,” he hisses. “Don’t you want to leave?”

Taehyung stares at him and then sighs. He says, “Not really. I thought I sort of made it clear that I’m enjoying my time with you.”

It’s not the answer Jeongguk was looking for, nor hoping for. He snarls and presses forwards to connect their lips. He knows it’s messy and sloppy and too hard and he’s not doing it right, but he’s too angry to be self-conscious right now. Instead, he presses forward onto Taehyung’s still lips, kissing them over and over until he pulls back with a growl.

“Kiss me back, you asshole.”

“No,” Taehyung answers.

“Fuck you.”

Jeongguk slots his thigh in-between Taehyung’s legs and presses it forward until it’s nestled against his soft cock. He presses kisses onto his mouth again, pushes his thigh up, hand reaching up to grab at the back of his hair and tug it.

Taehyung doesn’t move, even when Jeongguk stills, even when his fingers freeze like ice and he chokes on a gasp.

His hair is just as soft as he thought it would be.

In one swift movement Jeongguk pulls away, unthreads his fingers from Taehyung's lustrous tresses, and removes his thigh from between his legs. He stumbles back and quickly whirls around. Taking a few steps into the room, he reaches up with a trembling hand to cover his mouth as a sob builds in his throat. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Taehyung sighs from behind him. Jeongguk can hear his feet padding over the carpet as he moves. His arms snake around Jeongguk's torso, pulling him so that he’s pressed back against him. He tucks his head against his shoulder blade and holds him while he cries. At this point, Jeongguk isn’t sure if he’s crying because he’s upset or because he’s embarrassed. Either way, Taehyung doesn’t say a word, just hums something into his skin.

“I thought-”

“I know, Jeongguk.”

“I thought you were gone.”

“I’m really sorry,” Taehyung whispers.

“S’not your fault,” Jeongguk mutters with a sniffle.

“No, but I’m sorry that I said what I did just now. I don’t mind that you’re not ready for sex yet. I’d wait as long as you need me to. I’d be happy if we never did anything. I like being around you and spending time with you, sex or no sex.”

“I’m such an idiot,” Jeongguk mumbles, head dipped low as he scoffs out a self-deprecating laugh.

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know, Guk. I don’t want to leave either.”

Taehyung hugs him a little tighter and then lets him go.

“Come here,” he says. He grabs a tissue off the desk and, holding Jeongguk by the chin, starts wiping his face.

“I can do it myself,” he says, pouting.

“Sure, but I want to do it,” Taehyung replies, a soft smile quirking his lips at the corners.

Jeongguk harrumphs and looks away, pretending like his cheeks aren’t burning and like Taehyung isn’t looking right at them while they do.

“Go on,” Taehyung says, patting his shoulder. “Go hang out with your friends. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Jeongguk grabs his hand. Taehyung looks down at it, lips in an ‘o’ while Jeongguk tugs it.

“Come with me.”

Taehyung smiles warmly as he shakes his head.

“It’s okay, Jeongguk. I’m not disappearing anytime soon. I can’t until I’ve fulfilled my duties.”

“I know that. I mean, come with me. Come with us. Hang out with us.”

Taehyung instantly frowns at him.

“Jeongguk…”

“So what if they can’t see you? That doesn’t mean that you can’t come along. It’ll be fun.” He looks down at the carpet. “I want you to come.”

When he peeks up through his lashes, Taehyung is grinning at him.

“Okay. I’ll come with you.”

It’s strange. Strange how easily Jeongguk forgets that Taehyung doesn’t exist to the rest of his friends. Strange how natural it feels to laugh when Namjoon trips on a wet floor sign, to turn to Taehyung and see him laughing too.

It’s strange, but it feels so right.

 

--

 

“Alright, big boy.” Taehyung sits down next to him on the bed just as he has put the last of his books away and grabbed his phone instead. It’s the day after Jeongguk's embarrassing breakdown and he has only just returned from a class. “It’s time for you to give your first handjob.”

Jeongguk drops his phone. It lands squarely on his pinkie toe. He yelps, grabbing his foot and clutching at it as he grits his teeth.

“Why do you have to do that?” He hisses. Taehyung gives him an innocent smile. Too innocent.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ass.” Jeongguk lets his foot go before sighing.

He knew this day would come eventually.

The day he touched his first penis.

Not that he had been actively anticipating it, being straight and all.

“92.”

“What?” He looks up at Taehyung with a frown.

“Nothing.”

“You said something.”

“No, I didn’t. Must’ve been the wind.”

Jeongguk sighs again. He turns to face Taehyung with a determined set to his brows.

He doesn’t want to be the annoying, whiny boy who is so unsure of everything he does any longer. He doesn’t want Taehyung to continue feeling like he has to baby him. He wants to be able to be naked in front of someone without wanting to cry.

“Okay,” he says. “Teach me.”

Taehyung puts his hand up to his chest.

“I think I’m tearing up,” he says after a fake sob. “I’m so proud.”

“Shut up, you dick,” Jeongguk says, laughing as he shoves him. “Just do it.”

“Okay, okay. But first, I want you to kiss me.”

“Why?” Jeongguk asks, raising an eyebrow. “What has kissing got to do with handjobs?”

“Nothing. But so far the only time you’ve kissed me you’ve been frozen or angry. I want a proper kiss. Please?” Taehyung watches his blank stare. “It’ll help you get in the mood.”

So, Jeongguk leans forward and connects their lips in a soft kiss. Taehyung makes a happy noise, moving closer, one hand slithering up to the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair. His tongue is quick to flicker over Jeongguk’s bottom lip and the boy is helpless but to give it entry, opening his mouth and feeling warmth spread over his body as Taehyung bewitches him.

“You’re really good at that,” Taehyung says as he sits back, breathing heavily. Jeongguk frowns at him, feeling flushed.

“You don’t need to lie to me,” he mutters, only to flinch when there’s a sharp pain on his forehead. Taehyung pulls his finger away, glaring at him.

“Quit it with the pity party already. I told you you’re good at it, that means you’re good at it. I wouldn’t lie, Guk.” He sits back on the bed until his back is pressed to the wall, pulling Jeongguk up with him. “Being a virgin doesn’t equate to being bad at sex, you realise? There are plenty of virgins who are naturally talented and plenty of people who have been having sex their whole lives and are terrible at it. You’re inexperienced, not bad. Get that notion out of your head.”

Jeongguk nods meekly at the admonishment. Taehyung must be satisfied enough with the response because he leans back on the heels of his hands and says, “Have at it.”

Jeongguk glances down at his crotch and then up at his face.

“Um… Okay,” he squeaks, shifting closer. “I’ve- I’ve never…”

“I know. That’s kind of why I’m here.”

“Shut up. I just mean that I’m… I’m nervous.”

Taehyung smiles warmly at him.

“I know you are, but just remember that there’s nothing you could do to make me think any less of you. Even if this is about to be the worst handjob I’ve ever had in my immortal existence, I still would not make fun of you. I promise.” He pauses, tilts his head to the side and then says, “I mean, I might tease you a little, but I wouldn’t actually care. So just relax and do whatever you think is right. I’ll guide you anyway, so don’t stress.”

Jeongguk looks into his eyes, warm with sincerity, gulps and then shifts closer again.

“Okay,” he mumbles. “I’ll just… do it then.”

“Okay,” Taehyung says by way of permission, spreading his thighs apart ever-so-slightly. Jeongguk tries not to blush at the action. With trembling fingers he reaches over to the button of his jeans, popping them open. Taehyung doesn’t make a sound, just watching as Jeongguk undoes his zipper and tugs at the hem of his pants.

“Can you-”

“Sure, baby.” Taehyung lifts his hips off of the bed as Jeongguk hesitantly pulls the pants down to his knees. Taehyung kicks them off the rest of the way. Jeongguk can’t help but note that his legs are smooth and hairless and perfect. He tries not to dwell on that.

“Um…”

“What would you like to do next?” Taehyung asks. Jeongguk tries to keep his eyes averted from the bulge in his briefs.

“Um, underwear,” he mutters, tugging at the waistband of them. Taehyung nods before lifting again. Jeongguk deliberately looks at the ceiling as he pulls them off, listening to the demon laugh.

“So cute. You’re going to have to look at it eventually.”

“Sure, but I could also not do that,” Jeongguk answers.

“What, you’re going to give me a handjob with your eyes closed?”

“I could.”

“Well, you’re not going to,” Taehyung says firmly. “Come on, Guk. Just look. I promise it’s not going to bite you.”

“Shut up,” he hisses, squeezing his eyes closed firmly and forcing himself to look in the direction of Taehyung’s dick, opening his eyes, and-

There it is.

A dick.

Jeongguk knows Taehyung is watching him, but he’s not going to look away now. He’s proud of himself for making it this far.

“It’s uh… nice,” he mumbles. Taehyung immediately laughs.

“Thanks.”

“Um, why is it, you know, soft?”

“Because I’m not turned on,” Taehyung answers like that wasn’t a stupid question.

“Oh.” Jeongguk frowns. He can hear Taehyung rolling his eyes.

“I mean, you could’ve done some preliminary work. Rub it through the clothing first, or kiss the person. Run your hands or tongue over their erogenous zones, work on their nipples, dirty talk. Anything to get them in the mood.”

“You didn’t tell me that before!” Jeongguk snaps, glaring at him. “You said you’d guide me.”

“I know, I just thought I’d let you do it your way,” Taehyung says with a shrug. “This is all a learning experience, Guk. Don’t take it too seriously.”

“Right,” he huffs out. “So, now what?”

“Well, you probably want to get it hard,” Taehyung answers, head leant against the wall. Jeongguk marvels at how comfortable he seems with his flaccid genitalia on display, but of course, not everyone is morbidly shy like Jeongguk is.

"Okay. How should- Should I touch it, or…?”

“You can do it whatever way you like,” Taehyung says. “Don’t let me restrict your options.”

Jeongguk takes a few quick breaths and then reaches his hand out.

He touches it.

He touches the penis.

“Oh god,” he mumbles. Taehyung snickers above him and he immediately directs a boiling hot glare in his direction.

“Sorry. You’re just so cute.”

“Shut up. Um…”

“Okay,” Taehyung’s voice shifts into something kinder. “You’re not going to get it hard by poking at it. You need to actually wrap your hand around it. Just do it like you’re jerking yourself off.”

Relieved at getting some form of instructions to follow, Jeongguk mutters a shaky, “Okay,” and then reaches his hand forward more firmly. With embarrassment thick in his mind, he slowly moves his grip down along the soft shaft.

“Perfect,” Taehyung praises.

“Really?” Jeongguk asks, searching his eyes for a speck of insincerity and finding none.

“Absolutely. Your grip isn’t too tight or too loose. You’re probably going to need some lubricant of some kind pretty soon, since you’re rubbing dry skin on dry skin, but for now, it’s perfect. Keep going.”

Jeongguk nods, feeling ever-so-slightly more encouraged now that he knows he isn’t totally fucking this up. He slowly moves his hand up again, up until his grip reaches the head of Taehyung’s cock. Then, back down again. He keeps his gaze on his hand, rather than on Taehyung’s actual dick, so when it kicks a bit he feels it and gasps, looking up at Taehyung who grins.

“There you go, sweetheart. You’re doing perfect.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“Cutie,” Taehyung reaches a hand out and strokes the back of it over one of Jeongguk’s cheeks. “How could I not get turned on when you look so pretty like this?”

Jeongguk shakes his head until he lets go.

“Let me focus,” he says, ignoring Taehyung’s chuckle and focussing on his slowly hardening dick instead.

He can’t help but feel awfully proud of himself as he drags his fist up and down, watching Taehyung’s cock flush with red, firming, lengthening in his hand. He did that. He turned someone on. With his hand.

As Taehyung’s cock becomes hard, Jeongguk realises two things.

One, he definitely needs lubricant, like Tae said he would. He can feel the heat against his skin as he pulls his hand up, can feel the catch and the drag. Taehyung doesn’t say anything, nor react in any way, but Jeongguk winces because he knows how that feels. This really is just like jerking himself off and he’s not sure why he was so nervous.

Two… well…

“It’s…” He glances up at Taehyung and then back down at his erection. He whispers, “It’s big.”

Two, his cock is big. Really big and thick.

“Well, yeah,” Taehyung answers, no hint of arrogance in his voice. “I’m an incubus, Jeongguk. Did you think I was going to have a micro-penis?”

“No, I just… this is big,” he says, somewhat in awe. Taehyung laughs at him.

“Well, don’t worry about that right now. You’re doing such a good job, I don’t want you getting distracted.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, tearing his eyes away from what must be at least eight inches of hard cock. It’s only then that he realises that he’s hard and straining in his own pants, but he ignores that and whatever it might imply, instead saying, “I need lube, right?”

“Right,” Taehyung confirms. “Good job.”

“Um, I don’t… have any.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. What else could be used as lube, then?”

Jeongguk feels like he’s back in high school being given a pop quiz in front of the class. It's just as nerve-wracking, at the very least.

“Lotion?”

“Yes, that’s one option,” Taehyung answers. “But you need to be careful with lotion. If you use something scented or that has the wrong ingredients, you could cause damage to what is a pretty sensitive area. What else could you use? Something a bit more natural, maybe?”

“Uh… Spit?”

Taehyung nods.

“Exactly. At the end of the day, lube is the best option, but saliva will get you through if you’ve got nothing else. It tends to lose its effectiveness pretty quickly and you’ll have to keep replenishing it, but it’s good enough. Never use it a substitution for lube when it comes to anal penetration though.”

Jeongguk chokes on his tongue, spluttering as he pulls his hand back.

“I’m not-”

But Taehyung ignores him, instead saying, “So, you know what to use. Now use it.”

“R-right.” Jeongguk stares at his dry hand. “Should I use yours, or um…”

“Depends. It’s a great domination tactic: making your partner use their own spit. Sort of a form of humiliation, if they’re into that. Or it can be intimate if you use your own. Or, it might not matter at all. It really depends on the situation and who you’re with.” He looks Jeongguk in the eye and says, “Use your own for now.”

So Jeongguk spits in his hand, blushing as he does so.

“Okay, I’ll just…” He reaches forward, looking up at Taehyung for some sort of guidance.

“Yes, Guk. Go for it.”

Jeongguk wraps his hand back around the now hard shaft, his own saliva dribbling from his palm and along the warm length. Now when he moves his hand, it slides nicely over the skin. At Taehyung’s approving nod, he begins pumping his fist again.

“You’re not making noises,” Jeongguk points out, self-consciousness making him slow his movement.

“Good observation,” Taehyung says and Jeongguk wants to laugh at how ridiculous this is. By now he is more than fully aware of how much of an idiot Taehyung is. To hear him acting so seriously, giving Jeongguk sex tips with no hint of humour in his voice is making him cringe. Still, he soaks it all in. It’s not every day you get sex advice from a being who is Sex personified. Jeongguk isn’t sure if he should feel embarrassed, like a little kid getting praise from a teacher, but Taehyung doesn’t sound condescending. He speaks matter-of-factly, a serious look in his eyes as he says, “Paying attention to your partner is the most important thing to do during sex. Listen and look for signs of arousal or discomfort. Sometimes they may not be able to tell you whether something feels good or not, for whatever reason, so it’s great that you’re paying attention.

“As for me, you’re doing a perfect job and I’m definitely turned on, but you’re only in what I would refer to as the warm-up phase.” Taehyung taps his wrist lightly. “With the way your grip has loosened and with how slowly you’re moving, I’d assume you’re trying to tease me. Try something more like this.” He reaches down and moves his hand on top of Jeongguk’s, pulling it tighter around his cock. “Perfect,” he says. “And a speed more like this.” He pulls Jeongguk’s hand up for him until it reaches the crown, then pushes it back down, setting him up with a quicker rhythm and then letting go. “There you go. Keep going like that. You’re doing such a good job.” He sighs, closing his eyes. With what could be considered a slightly more teasing tone, he asks, “Are you sure that you haven’t given a handjob before?”

Jeongguk laughs through his nose.

“Shut up,” he murmurs, focussing on keeping the pace that Taehyung set. He’s immensely pleased when he notes the way his thighs tense, when the demon starts to breathe more heavily.

“So good, Guk,” he whispers, opening his eyes. Jeongguk meets them and feels his dick kick in his pants when he sees the heat in Taehyung’s irises, the lust so blatantly broadcast across them. “You’re so fucking hot.”

“Th-thank you,” he murmurs. Taehyung immediately groans and Jeongguk perks up. He did that. He made someone groan.

“So fucking innocent,” Taehyung growls out, hips twitching. Jeongguk watches in fascination as pre-come starts to build at the slit. His own breaths are coming out in pants as he watches Taehyung become more and more turned on. “Try twisting your fist a little,” he advises, watching as Jeongguk does just that. When Taehyung’s hips immediately jerk up to meet the thrust of his hand, Jeongguk feels something hot coiling in his belly.

“You’re doing perfect,” Taehyung continues praising him. “Keep it up and I won’t last much longer.”

Jeongguk bobs his head, glee and arousal mixing in his chest. He could laugh, he’s so happy, but he contains it. That would probably be a turn-off, he figures.

“Don’t forget about the balls,” Taehyung points out, reaching out and grabbing Jeongguk’s other hand which had been previously clenched in a fist in his lap. “People tend to ignore the testicles, even when they’re masturbating, which is just silly. They can add a whole new level to things.”

Taehyung pulls his hand until it’s down by his smooth balls.

“Okay, I’ll just… squeeze them?” He asks for confirmation.

“Sure, but not too tight, yeah? Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” He smirks. Jeongguk rolls his eyes but moves his hand, cupping Taehyung’s heavy balls in his palm and rolling them under his fingers. “Fuck,” Taehyung responds, “fuck, that’s perfect, Guk.”

Preening, Jeongguk moves his fist faster, tighter until Taehyung murmurs, “Need more spit,” so he leans over. Caught in the moment, Jeongguk doesn’t think before he spits on his cock.

He panics, eyes widening as he realises what he’s done. He’s about to pull back, stutter out an apology and bury himself under the blankets. But Taehyung’s hand flies to clutch at the sheets.

“Fuck,” he moans out loudly, grunting as he juts his hips upwards. “Fuck, Guk, that was hot. I’m going to come.”

Jeongguk is alarmed by the thought, not sure if he should be doing something different now. Taehyung had rubbed at the head of his dick when he made him come the other day, but Jeongguk isn’t sure if he would do it right. What if he hurts him, or ruins his orgasm or-

Taehyung’s cum flies upwards in a streak of white as he throws his head back and groans. Jeongguk freezes, hand still as he watches him jerking his hips upwards.

“Don’t- Don’t stop,” he hisses, then knocks Jeongguk’s hand out of the way and wraps his own large one around his length, pumping it faster than Jeongguk ever did, moaning as he continues to orgasm, thrusting into his hand.

Finally, he stills, both his and Jeongguk’s hands covered in his semen. His chest heaves as he pants, eyes closed as he comes down from his bliss. Jeongguk keeps his hand in the air, not sure what he should do with the mess.

“God,” Taehyung sighs out. “Fuck, that was so good. It’s been forever.”

“Really?” Jeongguk asks, swallowing. “But I ruined it.”

Taehyung opens his eyes, leaning forward, apparently unbothered by his nudity and the mess he has made on himself. He looks Jeongguk in the eye and says, “Don’t become all self-conscious again, Guk. You just gave your first ever handjob and you did an amazing job. It doesn’t matter that you made a mistake at the end. You’re learning and that was a lesson. Don’t ever stop halfway through someone’s orgasm, unless you’re deliberately trying to drive them crazy. Of all the times to keep going, that’s the best time. You’ll know when they’re finished and if not, they’ll tell you to stop.”

Jeongguk nods, still feeling foolish. Taehyung sighs and climbs up onto his knees, crawling until he is knelt beside Jeongguk.

“I’ll show you. Give me your hand,” he instructs, pointing to the one that’s still covered in his cooling cum. Jeongguk watches as Taehyung takes his own soiled fingers and uses them to collect the white from Jeongguk’s palm. With his clean hand, he yanks Jeongguk’s sweatpants and underwear down. Before he can even gasp, Jeongguk watches Taehyung wrap his cum-covered hand over his hard length.

“What- what are you doing?” he hisses out, flinching.

“Cum makes great lube as well,” Taehyung says lowly into his ear as he wastes no time working up to a fast pace.

“Gross,” Jeongguk mutters, trying not to fall apart so quickly, but he’s so worked up that it doesn’t take long for him to bite into his lip in an effort to quell his moans.

“Such a quiet boy,” Taehyung observes, biting down on his ear lobe for a moment, making Jeongguk hiss. “I wonder if you’re holding back,” he says, a hint of irony in his tone. “You wouldn’t hold back your beautiful noises from me, would you? Because that would make me so sad to think I’m missing them.”

“T-Tae,” Jeongguk stutters quietly, hips kicking.

“I’ll have to investigate that another time,” Taehyung murmurs. “You’re close, bub?”

Jeongguk is close, embarrassingly so, but watching Taehyung experience pleasure because of him had already worked him right up. He nods, a whimper escaping his throat as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Imagine if I stopped,” Taehyung says. “Imagine if I let go the moment you’re about to come, or even worse, imagine if I let go right as you started coming. Wouldn’t that be awful?” He hums in his ear before dropping down to kiss at his neck. “Wouldn’t it be mean, if I did that?”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk grinds out through gritted teeth. “Please.”

“Please what, baby?”

So close. So close.

“Let me- Let me come, please.”

Taehyung pulls his hand away, leaving Jeongguk thrusting up into nothing.

“No,” he groans out, a hand flying down to try to finish himself off. Taehyung grabs it from the air. 

“Just teaching you a lesson, baby,” he explains, holding his arm up. “Showing you what it feels like when your partner doesn’t pay attention to how close you are.”

“Tae,” Jeongguk gasps out as he slowly traces his fingers over the very tip of his cock, “Tae, please. Gonna- gonna-”

“Gonna come? Just like this?” Taehyung drags a nail gently over the sensitive flesh, pulling a whine from Jeongguk’s throat. “Gonna come just from this tiny amount of stimulation?”

“Ha- Hyung,” he cries. “So…”

Taehyung pumps his cock a few times until he’s breathing heavily through his nose, then he lets go again. Jeongguk writhes as Taehyung reaches up to pinch his nipples through his shirt, twisting them lightly.

“Or, maybe you can come like this?” He wonders aloud. “Maybe you can come just from having your nipples played with like a sensitive little baby, hm?” With one hand still toying with his right nipple, Taehyung reaches down and starts pumping his cock in earnest. A few strokes and Jeongguk is done, arching his back as Taehyung pinches his nipple hard, rubbing his thumb over his slit and he’s gone, a long whine escaping his mouth before he can stop it. Taehyung reaches forward and kisses his neck, sucking the skin in-between his teeth, tonguing at it and then letting it snap back as Jeongguk shivers underneath his skilled hands.

“Pretty boy,” he murmurs into the crook of his neck. “Good, baby?”

"Yeah," he croaks. "Thanks.” Jeongguk breathes out, cheeks warm as he realises that he’s part-naked and covered in cum. He reaches down to tug his pants up, but Taehyung stops him with his hand, leaning in when he turns and kissing him square on the mouth.

Their lips part with a wet sound as Jeongguk looks at him questioningly. Taehyung only smiles with a mysteriously cheeky gleam in his eyes, whispering, “You’re welcome.”

 

--

 

Jeongguk practices his handjobs until he isn’t a total and complete blushing mess during them. After a week of daily educational sessions (which he begs Taehyung not to call educational sessions) he has improved to the point that he is now only a slightly blushing mess. He’s proud of this progress, small as it may be. It’s proof that this is a positive thing: Taehyung being here. Jeongguk actually is learning. Now he can go and give handjobs to any guy on campus – not that he wants to give handjobs, because he’s straight and all. But he totally could now.

About four minutes after a successful session, Jimin enters the room after only one quiet knock and Jeongguk has a moment of panic. He’s lying on his bed, and sure, he is thankfully clothed but there is a man behind him who’s got just his shirt and some underwear on, curled up against Jeongguk in a totally not-straight way and Jimin is staring at them both. Jeongguk decides that the best course of action would be for him to push Taehyung off of the bed and yell, “No homo!”

He’s poised to do just that when Jimin sits down on the edge of the bed, right next to Taehyung, and smiles at Jeongguk. With stunning clarity, Jeongguk recalls that only he can see Taehyung and he relaxes instantly.

“What are you up to?” Jimin asks and Jeongguk is still tense because he’s not sure if it’s visibly obvious that he just gave somebody a handjob. Do these things show? Does he have a red hand? Is his hair messed up? Can you get sex hair just from jerking someone off? He doesn’t know these things yet, but Jimin doesn’t look suspicious or embarrassed so Jeongguk just squeaks,

“Nothing.”

“You got no classes coming up?” Jimin asks as he leans forward, completely unaware of how close his hand is to the crotch of an other-worldly being.

Jeongguk shakes his head.

“In that case, it’s time for you to come out.”

Jeongguk immediately splutters, sitting up straight.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Guk, when was the last time you saw the sun? It’s time for you to come out of your room. Let’s hang out.”

Jeongguk deflates, muscles melting. Beside him Taehyung snickers. He dutifully ignores him.

“Uh…” and he wants to say no, just out of reflex, but Jimin has this look in his eyes. It’s a look that screams, ‘Please hang out with me and be a normal human for once so that I can stop worrying about your sanity because you’re kind of scaring me with how weirdly you’ve been acting lately.’

So, Jeongguk answers, “Sure.”

“Really? Awesome. We could go get Boba, or something, yeah?”

Jeongguk glances over to Taehyung who has this flat expression on his face. Jeongguk turns back to Jimin. “Actually, can we go to the cinema?”

Jimin just smiles and says, “That sounds like a great idea.”

 

--

 

It’s horrendous at first. Jeongguk immediately regrets his decision. He should’ve just said no. He should’ve let Jimin continue to worry about him and just stayed holed up in his room because this is… bad.

It’s no one’s fault in particular. It’s just that Jeongguk is not a multi-tasker. He has always been the kind of person who puts their sole focus onto the thing they’re doing at that moment. It’s how his friends came up with the ‘Jungshook’ meme they like to tease him with. It’s why Hoseok loves to scream ‘Jeongguk dot exe has stopped working again guys!’ even though the others stopped laughing at it a long time ago. He often gets so focussed on the thing that he is doing (whether that be playing a video game or folding clothes or watching the microwave timer countdown so that he can stop it at 0:01 just to piss of Yoongi) that his brain forgets to control his facial muscles and his mouth falls open. He has even been known to drool but that was once.

He’s not a multi-tasker and it’s because of this that he realises not long into their little outing that he has made a grave mistake.

“So, I know this is a weird question, but what have you been up to lately? I feel like I don’t see you anymore.”

Jimin is walking on his right side, a nice pink button-up shirt and some black skinny jeans accessorised by dark shades and complimented by his fairy-floss pink hair.

“I’ve been doing exactly what I’ve always been doing. Working out and studying. Sometimes sleeping if I’m lucky.”

“Don’t forget getting laid,” Taehyung says from his left.

“Shut up,” Jeongguk snaps.

“I didn’t say anything,” Jimin says from his right. Jeongguk swivels his head back over to see him looking back with raised brows. Jeongguk stares back, listening to Taehyung giggling behind him.

“Uh… right.”

“Oh my god!” He turns back in time to see the back of Taehyung’s head as he runs off toward a crowd of people, following someone with a dog on a leash. “Puppy!”

“Tae-” Jeongguk cuts himself off when he realises that Jimin is still staring at him. He freezes, wracking his brain for some sort of excuse or diversion.

“What’d you say?”

“I said… ta-take… takes forever to walk. We should’ve gotten a lift or something.”

Jimin glances behind them, the university campus tower still in sight only a couple of blocks back.

“It’s been three minutes.”

“I- I know.”

Taehyung is crouched down in front of a puppy. The owner is turned back, struggling to keep their dog from yapping at what must be thin air to them.

“Don’t be mean, puppy. I want to be your friend.”

“Uh… I’m just going to go and look at that dog,” Jeongguk hastily explains to Jimin before running over. His cheeks are warm as he approaches the frazzled owner. “Cute dog,” he mutters, kicking his foot at Taehyung’s ankle in what he hopes is a subtle movement.

“Ow.” He cutely pouts up at Jeongguk who tries to convey how much he hates Taehyung right now. “I’m coming, geez.”

When they get back to where Jimin is standing, he looks gravely concerned. Jeongguk smiles and says, “C’mon, let’s keep walking.”

By the time they reach the cinema he’s so stressed that he’s pretty sure he’s breaking out with some sort of rash. Jimin is not subtle with his staring, but he thankfully doesn’t say anything, just asks Jeongguk what movie he wants to watch.

Jeongguk looks at the options and thinks about the fact that he needs to keep a hyperactive demon’s attention for up to two hours. He can’t have Taehyung running around going crazy, even if he’s the only one who can see him. He decides then and there that he’s definitely not going to have children. He can’t take the stress.

He ends up picking the latest blockbuster action movie. Jimin doesn’t seem fussed by his choice, even though they’ve both already seen it, instead joining the line.

“So, I guess you didn’t hear about Seokjin’s horror experience with his professor, since you never come out of your room these days,” Jimin says pointedly.

Jeongguk just shrugs his shoulders.

“What movie are we going to watch?” Taehyung asks from his other side.

“Well, hyung went to class on time like normal, right? But it was raining and you know how Seokjin refuses to use umbrellas because he’s convinced he’ll be struck by lightning? So, he was soaked and…”

Jeongguk tries to listen, but Taehyung is peering at the snacks along the queue line, breath fogging up the glass.

“Guk, we have to try some of that stuff. Popcorn. It looks amazing. I’ve never had any before.”

“…there was water everywhere and the whole class was watching and…”

“Oh my god, what’s that red stuff? Can I have some? Guk, please?”

“…the professor slipped in front of everybody and Seokjin-hyung was just standing there and…”

“Dude,” Taehyung grabs his arm, “look at that guy there. He definitely jerked off in the bathroom just now. He’s got that look.”

“...basically, it looked like he’d pissed himself and everyone was laughing every time he turned around and he got so mad that he…”

“Y’know, I can tell these kinds of things. Humans have this aura around them and it gets affected by arousal. It’s sort of like this blurry bubble around you. And it-”

Jeongguk clamps his hands over his ears and tries to refrain from screaming.

Something touches his arm. He looks up to see Jimin looking at him with furrowed brows.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he announces. He reaches out and grabs Taehyung by the wrist, not caring how weird it might look to Jimin in that moment. “Can you please buy us some popcorn and red liquorice?”

Jimin doesn’t hide his confusion as he slowly nods.

“Sure, Guk.”

Jeongguk drags Taehyung into the restroom. No one is inside, so he immediately rounds on the demon.

“You have to stop talking,” he says. “It's impossible for me to concentrate on you and Jimin at the same time. I can’t talk to you while I’m out with him. He’s going to think I’m insane. He already does think I’m insane, but he’s going to throw me into an institute if I keep talking to thin air.”

Taehyung pouts, crossing his arms.

“So you want me to be silent? That’s not very fun.”

“Taehyung, you don’t exist,” he snaps. “Not technically. You might as well be my imaginary friend or something. To everyone else, you’re not here. I can’t keep track of you and also remain normal in front of my friends. I need you to just be quiet. Just while I’m with Jimin.”

Taehyung dips his head, sounding like an admonished child when he mutters an, “Okay.”

Jeongguk groans, tossing his head back before reaching out for Taehyung’s shoulder.

“I’m not asking you to be completely silent. I still want you here, obviously. I just can’t talk to you, okay? I need to start being subtler and prove to Jimin that I’m not having some sort of mental breakdown.”

Taehyung stares at him, then glances down at the hand on his shoulder. He opens his mouth, but right as he starts to speak the door opens and an older man walks into the bathroom. Jeongguk quickly lets go of Taehyung and turns to the mirror, pretending like he’s checking his reflection.

“Come on,” he mumbles under his breath. “Let’s go.”

Taehyung is quiet after that. Jeongguk isn’t stupid. He knows that he hurt the demon’s feelings somewhere during that conversation. He’ll fix it later, he determines. For the time being, the silence is good. He makes an effort to converse with Jimin while they wait for their movie time. The elder is still giving him funny looks, definitely put off by Jeongguk’s strange behaviour, but he looks semi-consoled when they have a normal conversation.

When it’s time for the movie to start they file into the theatre. Jimin immediately goes for some seats in the middle, two on the very end, but Jeongguk grabs him by the wrist and pulls him up the stairs, towards the back. The seats are more sparsely filled up the top, mostly because there are some speakers right there that can rattle during loud bass-filled sounds, but Jimin doesn’t seem too fussed. Jeongguk sits down, gesturing to the empty seat to his left for Taehyung to sit in.

Jimin gets his phone out, texting someone while they wait for the movie to start. Jeongguk takes the opportunity to lean over to Taehyung, speaking quietly so that the pre-roll advertisements drown out the sound for Jimin.

“Hey,” he mumbles, waiting for Taehyung to look over, “I wasn’t trying to say that I don’t want you here, or anything like that. Please don’t be sad.”

“I’m not sad,” Taehyung answers, but he’s fiddling with his fingers and he only meets Jeongguk’s eyes for a fleeting moment.

“Yeah, and I’m not bad at sex.” He reaches over and flicks Taehyung’s nose, hoping that the movement isn’t noticeable in the dim lighting. “I’m sorry if I said something mean by accident. I’m just a little stressed.”

Taehyung glances over to Jimin, attention still on his phone, and then back to him. He smiles.

“I know that. I’m not sad, really. I’m just not very good at being quiet.”

“I figured,” Jeongguk returns drily. “Well, I’ve already seen this movie, so you can talk all you like. I just can’t answer or Jimin will think I’m crazy.”

Taehyung twists his lips, not responding. Jeongguk sighs, before grabbing the box of popcorn from Jimin and holding it on his lap, gesturing to it.

“Have some.”

Taehyung doesn’t argue, grabbing one piece of popcorn with his fingers.

“I’ve never had anything like this before,” he says, before popping it in his mouth. He chews and chews and then shrugs. “It’s okay. It’s so salty.”

“You’re supposed to grab a whole fistful. It’s better that way.”

“How does that make sense?” Taehyung asks even as he does so, grabbing a fistful and dropping some along the way. He goes to pick it up, but Jeongguk stops him.

“There are probably a thousand pieces of popcorn on this floor. The cleaners will get it.”

Taehyung picks it up anyway.

“Popcorn,” he repeats, giggling. “That’s a funny name.”

Jeongguk can’t help his goofy smile. It’s like Taehyung is a child experiencing the world for the first time.

“I picked the movies because I wanted you to experience it,” he says as he watches Taehyung devouring fistfuls of popcorn, not even seeming to realise that he’s doing it. “I know Jimin invited me out and that I’m technically here for him, but I wanted to bring you here. I wanted you to experience this. Okay? I’m here for you.”

Taehyung looks over at him in the darkness, a slow smile stretching his lips.

“Thanks, Gukkie.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Jeongguk whips his head back around to Jimin, who has pocketed his phone.

“No one.” Jeongguk quickly says, only to realise that that makes him sound crazy. “I mean, I wasn’t talking. I was singing. Singing a song. That I had stuck in my head. Yeah.”

Jimin stares at him just as the lights go down. Jeongguk turns his head to the screen and huffs a relieved breath.

It’s cute, the way Taehyung is totally encapsulated by the entire experience. He jumps when the bass rattles, but wows at the special effects of the movie, eyes wide. He pokes Jeongguk several times, saying, “Look, Guk, look at that!”

Jeongguk just smiles while Taehyung shovels more popcorn into his mouth.

Halfway through the movie, the demon has settled somewhat. The popcorn is long gone and now Taehyung is chewing on liquorice with wide eyes trained on the screen. Jeongguk grins at his profile, before turning his focus back to the movie, realising that he hasn’t been paying all that much attention. He’s seen it before and as exciting as the movie is, the exhaustion of the day is catching up with him. Stress makes his eyes weary and he decides to rest them for a moment. He lets the sound of the movie fade away, smiling to himself as he feels warmth, pressing into it.

There’s a tap on his head. Jeongguk jerks up, realising quickly that the warmth he was so happily engulfed in was Taehyung’s shoulder and he had been practically falling asleep on him.

“I think your friend would be a little confused to see you leaning on thin air,” Taehyung says with a small smile. Jeongguk, for some reason, blushes, turning his head away. He hears Taehyung laughing softly.

Jimin doesn’t say much when the movie finishes, which is good because Taehyung is chattering on and on about how good it was, how realistic everything looked, how hot the main actor was.

“I would definitely let him fuck me, and I don’t let just anybody fuck me, you know?”

Jeongguk just laughs to himself as they walk.

Closer to the campus, Jimin nudges his shoulder into him.

“I’m worried about you,” he announces. Jeongguk glances over, only to see Jimin staring at him. “I know I’ve already said this before and I must be sounding like a broken record by now, but Guk, something is going on. I’m not the only one who has noticed either. Yoongi says he has heard you… you know, talking to yourself. I’m just-”

“You guys need to chill,” Jeongguk says, nudging him back. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, you say that, but you’ve been doing really weird things lately. I’m just concerned, is all. Mostly because you’re not telling me.” Jimin grabs him by the shoulder, slowing them both to a stop so that he can look him in the eyes. “Since when have you not told me things? I know you’re a weird guy and do weird things. It’s why we’re such good friends, because the rest of us are weird as well. But this… You’ve been acting differently. And I know you have a secret girlfriend, or whatever, but I just don’t understand why you’re trying to hide that. Don’t you trust me?”

Jeongguk groans, closing his eyes.

“You don’t understand,” he mutters.

“Is it the stress? Is something going on that you feel like you can’t say?”

“Jimin, I’m fine. Really. You have to believe me.”

“I do, Guk, I do.”

“No, you don’t, or else you’d stop worrying about me. Really, there’s nothing serious going on. Maybe there is something going on, but it’s not anything to worry about. I promise one day you’ll know all about it, but not today. Okay?”

Jimin purses his lips for a moment. Then his shoulders collapse and he sighs.

“Okay.” He turns to start walking again, Jeongguk falling in step beside him. “If you say so, I believe you. But please, come out of your room more often. Spend some time with us. Prove that you’re okay, show me that nothing’s going on. Please?”

“Okay,” Jeongguk agrees. “I will.”

Jimin gives him a smile before slinging an arm over his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything else about the matter and they part ways in their dorm, Jimin giving him a squeeze on his arm.

“I assume you enjoyed yourself,” Jeongguk says as he collapses onto his bed, ready for sleep even though it’s only four in the afternoon.

“Yeah, I did,” Taehyung says, sitting down beside him. “Thank you for doing that for me.”

Jeongguk squints at him.

“God, another serious conversation?” He guesses, recognising the unusually solemn tone of voice that Taehyung is donning. “I’m too tired for this.”

“Jeongguk… I think we need to stop doing this.”

“Huh?” Of all the things Jeongguk supposed that Taehyung might be wanting to say, that wasn’t one of them. “What do you mean? Doing what? You mean having sex?”

Taehyung laughs, tipping his head back. His throat shifts, a plain expanse of smooth, golden skin. Jeongguk thinks about kissing it in that moment and doesn’t question that he does. Taehyung is a being designed to be attractive. It’s natural that Jeongguk is attracted to him, he reasons.

“No, we sort of have to do that or else I’ll die,” he reminds him, making Jeongguk frown. “No, I mean, we need to stop pretending like we’re friends, or close in any way.”

“But… you were the one who said it. You asked if we were friends, remember?”

“I remember.” Taehyung’s face is suddenly blank, his eyes suddenly cold. Jeongguk only realises now how warm they usually are, only notices how inviting and soft and sparkling they normally are now that they’re blank and empty. “But I didn’t mean it like this. Like friends who hang out and do things together.”

“I mean, that’s the only definition of friends isn’t it? What other kinds of friends are there?”

“Jeongguk, we’re not friends. It’s that simple. I’m an incubus. A demon. I’m only here on earth because you’re too afraid to have sex. As soon as we engage in intercourse, I’ll be gone forever. Have you forgotten that?”

“Of course not,” Jeongguk snaps, frown deepening as his gut clenches.

“I’m just making sure. Taking me on walks and to see movies is something that friends do.”

“I only did that shit because you wanted it,” Jeongguk says, sitting up and moving back so that he’s as far away from Taehyung as possible. “Not for me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Taehyung asks with a raised brow. It makes Jeongguk dip his brows, not liking his condescending tone.

“Of course I am. Why? What are you implying?”

“I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get attached, Jeongguk.” Taehyung takes a deep breath and then turns to face him head on, looking him in the eyes and saying, “There’s nothing between us. You’re a human and I’m an immortal being. Even if we never had sex and I was stuck on earth forever, you would grow old and die and I would still look like this.”

“Why are you acting like such an asshole all of a sudden?” Jeongguk tilts his head to the side, keeping his face blank because he doesn’t want Taehyung to know that those words hurt. They hurt a lot because he knew that already.

“I’m merely being professional,” Taehyung says. “Any warmth I have exhibited is not for my sake, but for yours. Incubi and Succubi take on the form of whatever you might be attracted to. We put on an act so that the human subject is more comfortable. I am nothing like what you think I’m like.”

Jeongguk stares at him. Taehyung sighs and stands from the bed.

“I am merely trying to do you a favour, Jeongguk. I don’t want you to grow attached to me because you think I am like you. One day I will leave and I will be gone forever.” He pauses, turning away. “You have to keep that in mind.”

Jeongguk stares at his back as Taehyung walks over to his wardrobe. Calm as can be, clinical, professional, just like he said. Jeongguk watches him look at Jeongguk’s schedule, pretending to read it, pretending to be busy. 

Jeongguk laughs quietly as he moves to the side of the bed, standing.

“You’re a liar.”

Taehyung turns around, face still blank, expressionless.

“I’m a demon. Lying is what we do,” he says evenly, dodging the accusation with ease.

“That’s cute, Kim,” Jeongguk murmurs as he strides over to him. Taehyung stands his ground, even when Jeongguk stands close, looks right into his dull eyes. “Very cute. But you’re not that good of an actor.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll admit, you had me for a second. But you're trying to tell me that everything you've done up til now has been an act? You're not that good. No one is.” Jeongguk pokes him in the chest. He doesn’t flinch. “Are you trying to tell me that everything was fake? That you were acting when you ran after that puppy earlier today? When you tried Boba for the first time and almost choked? When you asked me to kiss you? When you told me that you don’t want to leave, that I’m the only human you’ve ever spent time with? They were all lies?”

“Yes,” Taehyung answers, not missing a beat. “We employ whatever tactic we can to make the human more comfortable so that they will be more receptive to having intercourse.”

Jeongguk snorts.

“I don’t buy your bullshit for one second. You’re a liar, Taehyung.” He pokes his chest again, harder this time. Taehyung stumbles, back against the wall, palms pressed to the wardrobe door. Jeongguk pushes closer. “I know exactly what you’re doing, you know. I’m not as gullible as people think I am. You,” he presses his finger to his chest, leaving it there, “are freaking out. You’re freaking out because you loved today. You liked going to the movies with me. You liked it when we walked the river. You liked it when I fell asleep with my head on your shoulder, and you like it when we sleep in the bed together, and you like spending time with me.”

He can feel his cheeks burning but he doesn’t care. Taehyung’s eyes are still as blank as ever, no reaction showing and Jeongguk can’t have that. He can't back down from a challenge.

“You’re pulling this ‘professional’ act now, after two months, and you expect me to believe it. You’re telling me that you don’t want me to get attached, that you’re worried about me, but you’re just projecting.”

“Am I?” Taehyung asks, tilting his chin up. “Are you sure about that, Jeongguk-ah?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “I am. You’re trying to hurt my feelings so that I’ll be all angry at you and hate you and that way you can leave, but I know what’s really going on.”

“What’s that then?” Taehyung asks, but his voice cracks and Jeongguk smirks. For the first time since he met him, Taehyung doesn't seem so confident and Jeongguk has the upper hand. 

“You’re scared,” he announces, and their chests are touching and they’re both breathing heavily and Jeongguk is probably bruising Taehyung's skin with the way he's digging his finger into his collarbone. “You’re scared because you’re getting attached. You like me and that scares you. You like me, don’t you, Tae? Admit it. You-”

In a movement so fast Jeongguk would’ve missed it had he blinked, Taehyung spins them around. Jeongguk’s hand falls from his shirt, bracing himself back against the wardrobe door, which judders as his head collides with it when Taehyung surges forward and kisses him. There’s a sharp pain in his skull and a rush of blood to his head and Jeongguk melts but Taehyung is holding him, holding him up until he’s steady. Then he pulls away, only to bring his palms up to Jeongguk’s cheeks, cupping his face in his hands. This time his lips are softer, sweeter as he kisses Jeongguk, as he tilts his head back and Jeongguk can feel something wet on his cheeks but he doesn’t care. He kisses back until he can’t breathe anymore and then some more, until he’s lightheaded and dizzy and there are sparks of light beneath his eyelids and then Taehyung pulls away.

“Yeah,” he gasps out, head dipping so that his forehead is pressed to Jeongguk’s heaving chest. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Jeongguk brings a shaking hand up to his silver hair, threading his fingers through the locks. 

“I know,” he mumbles. “It really was shitty acting.”

Taehyung laughs. His warm breath fans over Jeongguk’s collarbones.

“I’m usually a lot better at it,” he assures. He lifts his head. Jeongguk gasps.

He’s not sure what’s more surprising: the fact that the ever-calm incubus Taehyung is crying or the fact that he’s crying tears of what appears to be blood. Scarlet streaks down his face, dropping onto the ground. Jeongguk realises it must be on his face too, reaching up with trembling fingers that come back painted with red.

“Sorry,” Taehyung mumbles, watching him. Jeongguk only shrugs and the demon sighs. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispers. “I don’t know what to do, Jeongguk.”

“It’s okay,” Jeongguk answers, hand still pressed to the back of his head, still threading through his hair. “It’ll be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He’s not, is the problem. Jeongguk isn’t really an optimist. He’s not sure where he falls on the positivity scale. He had never thought of this situation so seriously, but he had already mentally acknowledged that this is weird. That this is wrong. That Taehyung is immortal and he is not.

Right now, looking at Taehyung crying, looking the least composed he has ever seen him, it doesn’t matter.

“I just have a feeling,” he says, before he pulls Taehyung over to his bed. They lie down there and Taehyung is getting red on his shirt where he’s got his head tucked against his chest and if Jimin comes in he’s going to freak out seeing Jeongguk covered in blood and it doesn’t matter.

“We have to keep going,” Jeongguk says after some silence.

“I know,” Taehyung says.

“I don’t want you to die because of me.” Jeongguk glances down at his hair and then takes a breath, before rushing out, “I like you too, by the way.”

Taehyung laughs into his chest.

“I know.” Jeongguk feels him press a kiss to his collarbone. Something about the action makes his skin heat up. “We’ll keep going. That’s all we can do for now. But one day we’ll have to part. We have to remember that.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk says. “I know.”

Chapter Text

“Okay!” Taehyung's large palms slap together, a cacophonous sound that makes Jeongguk startle where he's lazing on the bed. He feels his insides cringe because he already knows exactly what the demon is going to say next. “Time for another lesson, yeah?”

He sighs as he locks his phone. It was foolish of him to think that Taehyung would be acting any differently after his brief moment of vulnerability. After he’d finished crying and together the two of them had cleaned up the blood - and really, that sounds a lot worse without context - he had snapped right back to his usual self. Now, only a day later, Jeongguk knows that he can’t get out of this. He finished his studies, he’s got no classes for the rest of the day, the others are out, and he was playing Flappy Wings (yes, he still plays Flappy Wings. It’s a classic, okay?) to pass the time. There’s nothing better to do, no excuse to get out of this, and Taehyung knows it.

“Fine,” he answers, tossing his phone to be lost amongst the folds of the blankets. “What now?”

“You can’t guess?” Taehyung strides over to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. He angles towards him, one leg strewn over the other as an easy smile spreads across his face. “We’ve covered handjobs. What do you think might come next?”

Jeongguk already knows with no amount of uncertainty what’s next. It makes his mouth dry just to think about it. Unfortunately though, he knows by now that resisting Taehyung is pointless. He seems to have some sort of sixth sense that allows him to detect when Jeongguk is stalling.

So, he decides not to beat around the bush and tentatively guesses, “Oral?”

Taehyung snorts, a hand flying up to cover his mouth as he laughs.

“Why would you call it that? You make it sound like one of the worst things that could possibly happen to you.” He lowers his hand to reveal his smile morphing into a smirk. “Blowjobs are one of the best things that a dick-owner can experience.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Well you’re about to.” Taehyung pats his shoulder, a sleazy grin making Jeongguk roll his eyes. “Shall we start with a practical demonstration?”

His hand slips from Jeongguk’s shoulder and slides down his chest, leaving chills in its wake. His fingers dance over his stomach as they travel along his body.

Jeongguk grabs his wrist just before he reaches the hem of his pants.

“Can I-” He pauses to swallow, looking up to meet Taehyung’s confused gaze. “Can I go first?”

“Huh?” Taehyung pulls his hands back. Jeongguk’s fingers fall limp in his lap. “You want to give me a blowjob?”

“I- uh… It’s just- You’re going to be a lot better at it than I am. I’d rather go first so it’s less embarrassing.”

Taehyung looks him up and down, one brow quirked as Jeongguk fidgets with the drawstrings to his sweatpants.

“Hm. Fine. I guess it makes more sense. I can’t really give you tips when my mouth is full.” Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. He can't find it in himself to be excited, not when there is so much that could go wrong. A handjob is one thing and he had definitely been nervous that he was going to be terrible at it, but even his irrational, self-deprecating mind could acknowledge that there wasn't a lot there for him to mess up. This though... This is an entirely different ball game, so to speak. 

As usual, Taehyung seems to be privy to his thoughts, for he reaches out again, this time letting his palm rest on Jeongguk’s knee, squeezing lightly.

“It’s totally normal to be nervous before sex and it’s totally normal for that nervousness to overpower you and stop you from enjoying the situation. Don’t beat yourself up. Remember, we can stop at any time. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We can always stick to handjobs to keep me alive.”

Jeongguk huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I can do it. I’m just afraid that I’m going to mess up.”

“There isn’t much you can mess up. It’s either going to be good or bad. Just don’t bite. Breaking someone’s dick off is probably the worst thing you can do.”

“What if I want to have sex with a girl one day?” Jeongguk thinks aloud, changing the subject because now he’s afraid he is somehow going to bite a piece of Taehyung’s dick off and he’d really rather not think about that. “I won’t know what to do with her… you know… and I’ll be bad at it even after everything you’ve taught me.”

Taehyung smiles softly as he leans over.

“Jeongguk, sweetheart, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not going to be sleeping with women. You’re gay as fuck.”

Jeongguk settles for giving him an icy glare, words unnecessary at this point. He’ll hold onto his eight percent of straightness as tightly as he can for as long as he can, thank you very much.

“Now, it’s time for you to suck a dick, gay boy.” Jeongguk whacks Taehyung’s arm off of him with a scowl while the demon snickers and leans back on his hands, legs spread. “Where would you like to start?”

Jeongguk sighs, thinking about the fact that this blowjob is potentially the most important blowjob to ever be bestowed upon a man, considering that it will keep him alive. With great power comes great responsibility and Jeongguk isn't about to bring shame to his future superhero name (he will find a radioactive spider one day, dammit). He knows that this is something he just has to do, so he slides off of the bed and gets on his knees in-between Taehyung’s legs, bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

Taehyung’s jaw slackens, allowing a squeak to escape his mouth. It catches Jeongguk off-guard, considering how Taehyung has been nothing but composed when it has come to sex.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles, eyes round and wide.

“What?” Jeongguk leans back, face warm. “Don’t- Don’t make fun of me.”

“No- No I’m not,” Taehyung stammers. Jeongguk gawks at him, shell-shocked to see him so shaken. “It’s just- I thought you were going to, like, sit next to me or something. Not get on your knees.”

“Oh. Um. I’ll just-” Taehyung’s hands lands on his shoulders and keep him down when he starts to move up onto his feet.

“No. Stay. It’s fine, Jeongguk. You just surprised me.” He leans back on the heels of his palms and smiles, finally. “It’s fucking hot seeing you on your knees for me.”

“Sh-shut up,” Jeongguk stutters out, head dipping.

Gentle fingers slide under his chin and tip his head back. Something about the movement overwhelms Jeongguk as he meets Taehyung’s eyes, a shade darker than they were before. His breath escapes from his parted mouth in pants as Taehyung tilts his head further, thumb rubbing over his bottom lip.

“You’re beautiful,” is all he says and then his expression un-clouds and he grins. “Okay, kiddo. What are you going to do first?”

“Don’t call me that when I’m about to suck your dick,” Jeongguk snaps, before sighing and leaning forwards, Taehyung's fingers fall back. “I- I’ll just start, I guess?”

“Sure.”

So Jeongguk swallows and reaches up for the button of Taehyung’s jeans. His breath feels solid in his lungs as he fumbles his fingers. He shouldn’t be so nervous. He’s already seen this dick and touched it a handful of times now. Why is he still so scared? To be fair, this will be the first time he has seen it up close, but that doesn’t excuse his sweaty palms, or racing heart.

But he thinks as he slowly tugs down the zipper, that he desperately wants to do a good job for Taehyung. He wants to make him feel good. He wants to make him feel as good as he makes Jeongguk feel, he decides as he tugs at the hem of his pants, rolling them until they meet resistance.

“Um… Can you…”

Taehyung lifts his hips up, allowing Jeongguk to pull the pants until they’re around his thighs. He falters there. Should he pull them all the way off? Is that nicer? Or should he leave them on? Is there some unspoken code about how you're supposed to take a guy's pants off when blowing him? Is there an oral sex etiquette that he's not privy to?

Something taps at his temple. He glances up to see Taehyung leaning down towards him.

“Get out of your head, Guk. You don’t need to stress over every little detail. The less you think and the more you live in the moment, the more you’ll be able to focus on yourself and your partner, and the more you’ll be able to enjoy sex.” Taehyung then knocks his hands back and pulls his jeans down all the way, kicking them off. He spreads his thighs apart. Jeongguk feels like he shouldn’t be looking at the flawlessly smooth skin, his eyes not worthy to witness the way they seem to glow in the dull light. “Remember, whether it’s a blowjob, or a handjob, or penetration, you don’t need to jump straight to the main event. Foreplay is arguably the most important part of sex.” He ignores Jeongguk’s sour expression after he says ‘penetration’ and reaches down for his hands. He pulls them until they rest on his lower thighs, just above his knees. “Try riling your partner up with light, teasing touches.”

Jeongguk lets him pull his hands slowly along his legs. Taehyung lets him go and Jeongguk continues the movement, tracing the tips of his fingers up along the golden skin. Taehyung hums and leans back.

“That’s nice,” he encourages. Jeongguk nods, continuing to slide his fingers up along his thighs and he gets it, he thinks. He understands what Taehyung is talking about. He’s learnt after giving him numerous handjobs that it’s nicer if you can get your partner hard to begin with. Taehyung has assured him many times now that his partner isn't always going to be erect when things start and that that’s normal. This way, with his fingers dancing up along his skin, Jeongguk can turn Taehyung on first. Just the thought alone is turning him on and he feels his dick twitch in his underwear.

Taehyung’s legs are so beautiful. Every part of him is beautiful, Jeongguk knows this by now, but his skin is just so smooth and so very soft and Jeongguk decides to take Taehyung’s advice and say, Fuck it.

“Oh,” Taehyung lets out on a low murmur when Jeongguk kisses the inside of his left thigh.

“Is- Is that okay?” Jeongguk asks as he leans back to meet his eyes.

“That’s perfect, Gukkie,” Taehyung affirms, smiling. “So hot.”

So Jeongguk leans back down and presses his lips to the warm skin. He breathes in, not at all surprised at this point to find that Taehyung smells amazing. Spurred on by how much Taehyung seems to like it, if the way his thighs tense underneath his hands is any indication, Jeongguk kisses along the golden expanse until he’s higher, higher and he realises that his clothed dick is right there. Panicking, he pulls back and dives for the other leg, doing the same thing, tracing his tongue along the very inside of his thigh and feeling a rush of heat in his chest as goosebumps spread over Taehyung’s skin.

“You’re doing so well,” he breathes. “I’m getting hard already.”

And he is. Jeongguk can see that through his briefs and, strangely, it makes his mouth water and he decides that he wants this. He wants to do this, he wants to puts his mouth on Taehyung’s dick regardless of the implications.

He leans back and pulls at the hem of his underwear. Taehyung shows no outward surprise at his sudden boldness, lifting his hips and letting Jeongguk drag his briefs down his legs before tossing them away, and...

And, just like that, Jeongguk’s confidence shatters like anything made of glass when Namjoon is nearby, because Taehyung’s dick is right there and he’s definitely going to mess this up. What is he supposed to do? Should he lick it first? Should he jerk him off a little bit before he does anything with his mouth? Or should he just take the whole thing down his throat? Is that even possible? That thing is fucking big. How is he supposed to do that without choking?

“Okay,” Taehyung starts, and Jeongguk glances up to meet his amused expression, “blowjobs in their simplest form are pretty straight forward. You’ve really got two options: lick or suck. That being said, there are many things you can do to make the experience more mind-blowing for your partner. Do you want me to walk you through them? Or do you want to take the reins and I’ll give you tips as we go along?”

“The second one,” Jeongguk whispers. Taehyung nods, smiling.

“Okay. Take it away. Remember you can stop whenever you want to.”

Jeongguk takes a deep breath before leaning in. He’s not sure he’s ready to try and take the thing into his mouth, so he settles for licking. He pokes his tongue out and, clenching his eyes closed, runs it from the base to just below the tip. He shudders as he pulls back.

Taehyung laughs, to which he immediately scowls.

“That’s a good start,” he says, grinning. Jeongguk glares at him.

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“You’re allowed to use your hands, you know.” Taehyung reaches down to grab the hand that Jeongguk has left resting on his thigh. He pulls it up until it’s near his shaft. Jeongguk follows his lead, wrapping his hand around his cock. “Use that to hold it still. Now you can spend a little longer licking it so that I can actually enjoy the sensation, yeah?”

Jeongguk ignores his jibe and focusses on the instructions. He moves forward once again, keeping ahold of Taehyung’s heavy cock, steadying it with his fist at the base and, after taking a shaky breath, leans forward to lick it again, tongue pressed to the bottom and quickly dragging to the tip.

“Keep going,” Taehyung encourages, so Jeongguk does and he feels sort of stupid, licking a dick like it’s a lollipop, returning to the base and pulling his tongue along the shaft. The skin is smooth and warm and there’s an underlying saltiness that isn’t as unpleasant as Jeongguk thought it was going to be. When he peeks up at Taehyung, the other is watching him with a sharp glint in his eyes. He murmurs, “That’s it. You’re so pretty like this. You and your cute little tongue on my cock.”

Jeongguk wants to pull back and laugh, wants to be snarky, wants to ask how a tongue can be pretty. Instead, he closes his eyes and moans. The sound is a shock to his own ears and he quickly sits back on his haunches, eyes wide. Taehyung’s hand appears in his hair, fingers threading through it and gently tipping his head back to allow their eyes to meet again.

“You like that, hm? Like dirty talk?” Jeongguk breathes heavily, shaking his head because he knows his voice will crack if he tries to speak. “I think you do,” Taehyung rasps. “I think you get all flustered when I compliment you because you like it so much. It makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”

Does it? Jeongguk has always hated compliments, mostly because they feel so forced. He knows people only ever give them to him when they want something, or when they feel bad. It’s different like this though. Different when he’s doing something so dirty. So filthy. Something about the way Taehyung says the words sends shivers dancing over his skin.

“Keep going,” Taehyung urges, gently pulling his head forward and Jeongguk immediately obliges, pressing his wet tongue to his thick shaft. “Why don’t you try licking in other places? You don’t have to focus on only the shaft. Switch it up. Try licking lower, along the base and over the balls.”

Jeongguk lets his hand push him lower as he slathers his tongue over the base. It’s getting sloppy and wet and he can feel saliva dripping down his chin. He reaches Taehyung’s heavy balls, licking over them and he finds himself wondering what it feels like, if it feels good, if Taehyung feels good, if he feels as good as Jeongguk does right now.

“Perfect,” he’s saying. “You’re so perfect. Do you want to try sucking on them? Slow and gentle, baby.”

Jeongguk does, sucking one of the balls into his mouth. It feels weird, weighty, and he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do so he lathers his tongue over it and Taehyung moans, deep and long and Jeongguk feels something shifting in his mind. Something spilling over, warmth that makes him feel heavy and light at the same time. He lets go and pulls the other testicle into his mouth, doing the same thing, listening as Taehyung praises him, as he tells him how perfect he is, what a good job he’s doing.

He pulls away, dragging his tongue up, up along the shaft until he reaches the tip. Hand wrapped around the base again, he swirls his tongue over the whole helmet, immediately hit with the saltiness of Taehyung and he moans again, not even embarrassed that he does, not even having the presence of mind to consider being embarrassed in the first place.

“Shit,” Taehyung mumbles above him, fingers tightening in his hair. “Fuck, baby, you’re so good. You’re so good. Fuck, you’re making me feel so good.”

Jeongguk’s hips twitch, his jeans far too tight all of a sudden. He’s doing it, he’s making Taehyung feel good.

He pulls back with a gasp, leaning away to speak but Taehyung beats him to it.

“Fuck,” he hisses, hand dropping from his hair to grab him by the jaw, holding his face tight as he rubs his thumb over his glistening lower lip. “You’re all messy, baby.”

“Tae,” Jeongguk breathes. “I want- I want to-”

Taehyung’s eyes have turned so dark that they might as well be black, his gaze so piercing that it makes Jeongguk tremble.

“Do it, baby, I know you can. I’ll help you so don’t rush. Take it slow.” He moves his hand back to his hair and Jeongguk is secretly thankful when he guides him forward.

He hesitates for one moment, lips poised at the tip. He’s really about to have a dick inside of his mouth. 

He parts his lips and spreads them over the head. He quickly realises as he moves forward that they’re not open nearly wide enough, so he stretches his mouth wider until it almost hurts, until the tip of Taehyung’s cock is resting against his tongue. Taehyung moans above him, spurring him on. He thinks of all of the porn he has ever seen, closing his lips around the helmet and slowly starting to lower his mouth, to take Taehyung’s dick further. The man above him is whispering nasty things to him and Jeongguk wants to take it all, wants to make him feel even better. He pushes himself to open his lips wider, to force his head lower.

He’s doing well. Taehyung keeps saying so, after all. He’s doing well, but Taehyung’s cock is so long and so thick and Jeongguk, despite all his horniness, really isn’t sure what he’s doing. When he feels the tip hitting the back of his throat he panics. Eyes opening, though he’s not sure when they closed, he pulls back quickly and scrapes his teeth harshly along the helmet. Taehyung immediately yelps as Jeongguk pulls off.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” he babbles, breathing quick and fast as he leans back and he can feel stinging at the back of his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Tae!”

“I told you to go slow,” Taehyung admonishes, hand on his dick as he grits his teeth and Jeongguk kneels back on his haunches and drops his face into his hands. Tears spill from his eyes before he can stop them and he snivels, so angry at himself because he was doing well and then he fucked it up because he panicked for no reason and now he’s crying like an idiot and everything has gone wrong in a matter of ten seconds. Taehyung hates him now, no doubt about it. He looked so angry just then and he's probably in so much pain and Jeongguk is the worst blowjob-giver in the world.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, the words muffled in his palms, his skin wet as his tears fall onto it.

“Hey!” Taehyung laughs quietly, hands reaching forward to pull at Jeongguk’s wrists. “Oh my god, Gukkie, it’s not a big deal. Calm down!”

“I ruined it,” he blubbers, shaking his head and tugging his arms back to try and hide his face. He doesn't even understand why he's crying, not sure why his insides feel so wrong now. “I messed it up.”

“Jeongguk, calm down,” Taehyung says firmly. “You didn’t ruin anything. You did something that literally any human who has ever given a blowjob before has done at least once. Chill out, would you?” He hears a tut and then Taehyung is leaning down to kiss him, catching him off guard.

He lets go of one of Jeongguk's wrists so that he can cup his face with his large hand, holding him still and kissing him fervently. Jeongguk can’t really kiss him back well with how upset he is, but he tries his best until Taehyung pulls away with a big grin on his lips.

“Cutie,” he murmurs, tapping his finger on the tip of Jeongguk’s reddened nose. “Stop being so hard on yourself. You were doing such a good job. I was so proud.”

“But I messed it up,” Jeongguk hiccups as he wipes at his eyes, cheeks boiling hot to the touch. “I can’t do it, I’m not any good at it.”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment, lips pursed, before he leans back with a heavy sigh.

“I’ll guess we’ll have to stop then. Since you’re not any good at it." He hums, shaking is head. “It’s okay, Jeongguk, it’s just probably not your thing. There are some things that people just aren’t good at. Blowjobs is clearly one of yours. There’s no shame in that.” 

Jeongguk gapes at him. He wasn’t expecting – or even wanting – him to rain compliments on him, but he also wasn’t expecting him to be so harsh. Yeah, Jeongguk just said he’s not any good at sucking dick, but Taehyung is supposed to help him be not not good at it. He's not supposed to agree with him.

“I- I could be good,” he says quietly, swallowing.

“I mean, maybe with a lot practice you could.” Taehyung shrugs. Jeongguk squints at him as he chuckles to himself. “A lot of practice.”

“I’m- I wasn’t that bad!”

“No offence, Guk, but you weren’t on the receiving end.”

“You said it was good!” He hisses, neck flushing with red, indignation making him glower at Taehyung's condescension. “You just said it then.”

“Of course. I’m here to build up your self-esteem,” Taehyung explains. “It’s all good though. We’ll just move onto something different. I’m sure we’ll find something you can be good at it.”

Jeongguk lunges forward, wrapping his hand around Taehyung’s still hard shaft, ignoring the way the other flinches.

“I’ll show you,” he growls out, glaring up at Taehyung. “I’m good at this. I’ll prove it to you.”

He leans forward until his mouth is poised right over the tip of his cock, but Taehyung’s hand on his forehead stops him. He glances up to meet the demon’s eyes again, now dancing with amusement.

“There we go. That’s more like my Guk."

“Huh?”

Taehyung smiles softly at him as he brushes his hair off of his forehead. “The Jeongguk that I’ve come to know these last couple of months is competitive and won’t back down from a challenge. Definitely not someone who quits after one small mistake.”

Jeongguk stares up at him with wide eyes as he slowly realises how proficiently he just got played.

“Asshole,” he hisses, pulling back. “You’re a dick.”

“Yeah, but you like me anyway,” Taehyung sing-songs with unabashed glee. He laughs, eyes crinkled closed as he moves closer, capturing Jeongguk in a kiss before he can protest. When he pulls away, he says, “I was lying before, Jeongguk. You were doing an amazing job. Don’t stop just because of one little mistake. Learn from it instead.”

Jeongguk nods slowly, before shuffling forward. He glances up to Taehyung and asks, “Help me?”

“Of course.” Taehyung’s hand returns to the back of his hair once again. “Let me give you a big tip that will help you to avoid any more teeth incidents. When you take a cock into your mouth, don’t just open your mouth wide like this," he gestures to his open mouth as he stretches it. "Instead, do it like this.” He points again as he pokes his tongue out until it’s resting against his lower lip, his upper one pulled down. He looks silly. He closes his mouth before explaining, “With your tongue pushed forward you can stop your lower teeth from hitting anything sensitive and you can use your upper lip to partially cover your upper teeth. Simple.”

Jeongguk nods, surprised to find himself ready and eager to try again.

“Start slow. Just work on the first couple of inches for now, okay? This isn’t about me, this is about you learning, so don’t try to deepthroat me just yet.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, pulling Jeongguk forward by the back of his head.

Jeongguk takes a shaky breath before following Taehyung’s instructions, letting his tongue rest over his bottom teeth before he slowly lowers his mouth onto the helmet of his cock.

It’s uncomfortable at first. His lips stretch and his jaw aches with the weird angle. He’s lost most of his earlier enthusiasm, now no longer sure whether he should move, or just sit still like this, or what. Taehyung pulls him forward a bit, the new angle a little easier on his neck and he finds his jaw doesn’t hurt so much.

“Good job, Guk. Now, why don’t you try closing your mouth and sucking on the tip? Don’t worry if you scrape your teeth again. It happens. Just remember to breathe through your nose.”

Jeongguk does as instructed, taking a moment to get used to breathing in and out through his nose before he brings his lips down tightly around Taehyung’s cock and sucking lightly.

“That feels good,” Taehyung says airily, hand stroking his hair as he leans back. “Perfect, Guk, keep going.”

So he does. He takes the liberty of moving his head until he’s more comfortable, before focusing on the feeling of Taehyung’s cock in his mouth. It’s just the tip, but it’s still heavy on his tongue, salty and warm and he suckles at it. He would feel stupid if Taehyung didn’t immediately moan aloud. By now, Jeongguk is certain that the demon will never moan just to make him happy, not after the amount of handjobs he gave him where he was completely silent to begin with, so the sound is a huge reassurance. He allows himself to relax as he focusses on what he’s doing, sucking at the tip, breathing through his nose, and he thinks he’s okay, thinks he’s doing a good job again.

“So good,” Taehyung murmurs. “You’re doing so well, baby. Try moving your tongue, just a little. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me while you’re still like this. Try moving it around the tip. That’s it, just like that. You’re so good.”

Jeongguk preens under the praise, moans when Taehyung’s hand tightens in his hair. He swirls his tongue around as best he can with the little space he has to work with. It must be alright because Taehyung grunts, hips shifting just a little but Jeongguk finds he doesn’t mind, finds himself wanting to take more and he pulls back to tell him so.

“Want-” he gasps out and that’s all he manages before the words seem to abort themselves. Taehyung isn't even paying attention, rubbing at his bottom lip again.

“Look at you,” he says lowly. “You look so lovely and wrecked for me. Your lips all pretty, red and glossy like this.” Jeongguk blinks up at him through his lashes and he groans, “Fuck. Okay, baby, you want to try more?” When he nods Taehyung pulls him forward. “Put your tongue back how I showed you and go slow, okay? Focus on breathing for now. Keep your lips tight around the shaft. I won’t go too far since this is your first time. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Jeongguk takes him back into his mouth and slowly, slowly lowers his head. Something about the way the tip slides over his tongue makes him lightheaded and he whimpers in his throat as Taehyung’s hand guides him down. When the tip reaches the back of his throat, Taehyung stops him.

“Fuck,” he sighs out, “you feel so good, baby. So warm and wet. I love the way you look with your pretty lips stretched around me like this. Now, work yourself up to a rhythm, just like when you were giving a handjob.” He tugs on Jeongguk’s hair, the younger ignoring the way that sends sparks traveling down his spine, instead following him up until his lips are just barely wrapped around the tip. Then he comes back down, remembering to keep his lips tight, to keep his tongue above his teeth. He’s not going to mess up again.

He does as Taehyung instructed, bobbing his head until he has a good rhythm going, body warm with lust as he listens to Taehyung moaning, as he feels the way his fingers tighten in his hair, as he lets his dirty talk wash over him.

“So fucking good, baby. You’re doing so good. Your little mouth feels fucking amazing around my cock,” Taehyung huffs, grunting to himself. Jeongguk wishes he could see his face. “You have no idea how hard I’m holding back right now. It’s taking everything inside of me not to grab your hair and fuck this pretty mouth of yours.” Jeongguk moans around his shaft and Taehyung hisses, chuckling darkly. “You like that? You like the thought of me fucking your mouth?”

Jeongguk isn’t sure how he can feel so relaxed when he’s got a dick in his mouth, but it is what it is. He feels like he weighs nothing, like Taehyung could pick him up and he’d float away like a helium balloon let loose. That being said, his head feels so heavy, like if Taehyung let go of his hair it would just drop and he wouldn’t be able to hold it up. He has closed his eyes again, he realises, but opening them seems like such a task, such an unnecessary thing to do. Just stay like this, he tells himself, stay focussed on the feeling of Taehyung’s cock in your mouth, on how good it tastes, on how big it is. Listen to Taehyung moaning and growling, listen to how good you’re making him feel.

“Guk, I’m going to come soon. You’re going to make me come, baby.” Taehyung’s fingers tighten and tighten in his hair until it hurts and he likes it. Jeongguk likes it. “Try moving this hand, yeah?” Taehyung taps the hand that is still firmly grasped around the base of his cock. “That will make it even better. If you can’t reach all the way with your mouth, remember you’ve always got two hands.”

Jeongguk does so, finding it easy to move his fist over the remaining length with the amount of saliva that has leaked from his lips. It’s difficult, at first, to find a rhythm that works, to match the twisting of his fist with the bobbing of his head. Taehyung starts pulling him by the hair though and Jeongguk finds it so much easier to let him move him, to let him control how fast he’s going and he moans and moans around his cock because he loves this, he really fucking loves this.

“Fuck me,” Taehyung hisses. “Gonna come, Guk. Do you want me to come in your mouth, or not?” Jeongguk only moans because how is he supposed to make that decision? He can barely remember how to open his eyes. How is he supposed to think right now when his head feels so fuzzy and light and good? Taehyung interprets his moan as a yes and growls low in his throat. “Yeah, you want that? Want me to come in your mouth? Down your throat? Ruin my innocent little baby, yeah?”

Taehyung holds his head still and with a loud moan, he comes. Jeongguk feels it in his throat, desperately works to swallow it all without even thinking twice about it. He can feel Taehyung’s thighs shaking under his fingers and he moans, his head heavy, so heavy, and his hips are kicking, and his jeans are so tight, and if he drops his hand and presses his palm against them just right, then-

Fuck, oh fuck.

Taehyung lets go of his hair and Jeongguk pulls his head back with a loud, gasping breath. Saliva leaks from the corner of his mouth, or maybe it's something else. Jeongguk shudders where he's sat still, hips kicking. Taehyung's hands appear in front of his face.

“Come here.”

Jeongguk climbs up into his lap without hesitation. He sits side-on, arms slung around his neck and Taehyung’s arms wrapped around his waist as he leans in and kisses him, tongue delving into his mouth and no doubt tasting his own cum. He doesn’t seem bothered by this.

“That was amazing,” he says as he breaks away, looking into Jeongguk’s eyes. “You were so good.”

“Really?” Jeongguk feels the need to ask, even though Taehyung already said so about twenty times.

“Really, baby,” he responds, voice soft and eyes warm as he rubs his thumb along his lips and Jeongguk lets him, leaning into the touch. “You were a natural. You’ll have no trouble impressing people with blowjobs in the future.”

Jeongguk pouts, not liking the thought of doing that with anyone else. Taehyung moves on immediately, like he knows exactly what he’s thinking.

“How are you feeling, pretty? Do you want me to-”

His hands pat at the front of Jeongguk’s jeans. Jeongguk blushes immediately, tucking his head into his shoulder and whining.

“Don’t tease me,” he mumbles.

“Did you…” Taehyung makes a strangled noise. “You came? Just from giving a blowjob?” Taehyung sounds incredulous and when Jeongguk pulls back to meet his eyes he finds him looking even more-so.

“Yes,” he admits. Then he sighs and looks at Taehyung from the corner of his eyes as he says, “So, it turns out I’m gay.”

Taehyung laughs a high-pitched squeaking laugh, fingers flying up to splay over his mouth.

“Yeah, no shit," he says after his recovery.

“Shut up. Turns out I like sucking dick.” Jeongguk feels a lot calmer about this sudden revelation then he probably should. Still, he thinks he may have always known this fact somewhere deep inside of him and he'd just never really confronted it until now. There's no denying it any longer though. He just sucked a dick and it was the best thing he has ever done in his life. Still, he throws in a, “Fuck you,” for good measure.

“Nothing wrong with that, baby,” Taehyung smirks as he caresses his cheek. “Dick sucking is the best.”

“Stop calling me that,” Jeongguk says, poking his chest.

“What? Baby? Don’t you like it?”

“Not now,” he mutters. “S’weird when we’re not… Y’know…”

“So, only call you baby when you’re horny?” Taehyung nods. “Got it.”

“Shut up.”

“Well, I’d say that was a successful lesson, all in all. We both learnt something new about ourselves. You’re gay and I apparently do get turned on by crying guys. Who’d have thought, right?”

Jeongguk chuckles against his shoulder even as his cheeks warm.

“I don’t know why I reacted like that,” he says quietly. “I really freaked out for no reason.”

“I know why,” Taehyung responds soberly, making Jeongguk lean back to meet his eyes. “If I’m not mistaken, you seemed to enter a submissive headspace during that. That is, subspace, or at least some form of it. Probably because of the way I was talking to you or maybe just from the blowjob itself. It’s this mindset where the submissive party in a dom and sub relationship becomes fully immersed in the scene. It’s sort of like a relaxed, floating feeling, one where you put your full trust in your partner and you feel complete in your submissive position.”

Jeongguk blinks at him.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Taehyung says with a small chuckle as he pulls Jeongguk closer. “We’re not going to touch that stuff with a ten-foot pole. I’ll let you discover that side of yourself with someone else.” Jeongguk dips his eyes down between them, giving a measly nod to appease Taehyung. “But that’s why you got so emotional. You just wanted to make me happy and when you thought that wasn’t happening you had a little overreaction.”

Jeongguk hadn’t been aware that he was so transparent, but there’s no point in denying Taehyung’s claim. He just shrugs, ready to move on, but Taehyung’s fingers appear underneath his chin.

“It’s very important that you don’t let yourself get taken advantage of when you’re in that headspace. Someone with the wrong intentions could manipulate you or really damage you mentally. Make sure you always do these things with somebody you trust. Okay, Jeongguk? Promise me?”

Jeongguk nods, thinking, ‘I trust you,’ but deciding not to say it.

 

--

 

True to his word, Jeongguk comes out of his room more often. Jimin isn’t at all subtle with his relief, greeting him with a loud, “Jeonggukkie, hello!” when he decides to join he, Yoongi, and Namjoon in front of the TV.

Taehyung stands behind him on the couch, arms around his neck, fingers dancing over his collarbones. Surprisingly, Jeongguk doesn’t find himself annoyed by this. It’s sort of comforting, an invisible touch while he laughs with his friends. When Yoongi beats them all at Mario Kart and jumps up and down on the couch, Taehyung laughs into Jeongguk’s ear. Jimin must see the broad grin on Jeongguk’s face and feel somewhat assured, because he smiles too.

As soon as his friends have dissipated, Jeongguk pulls Taehyung back into his room and asks if he can give him another blowjob, only the lightest dusting of pink adorning his cheeks. Taehyung just laughs and tells him to have at it.

Jeongguk is a lot more enthusiastic now that he knows what he’s doing, grabbing Taehyung’s shaft and immediately taking as much of it as he can into his mouth without gagging. He does scrape his teeth on his dick a few times, but he’s a lot more rationally minded this time around, pulling back with a small sorry and trying again.

After not too long, Jeongguk is proud to say, Taehyung is on the edge.

“Pull off,” he instructs. Wrapping a hand around his wet shaft, he starts jerking himself off as he tells Jeongguk to keep still. “Gonna come on your pretty tongue.”

Jeongguk is strangely into this, tongue out and waiting in an instant. Taehyung groans at the sight and then explodes, huffing as his cock spurts white into Jeongguk’s mouth.

He swallows again. Last time, however, it was all in the back of his throat and he didn’t pay too much attention to the taste. This time…

Taehyung tips his head back and laughs at the sour expression he pulls.

“It’s not the best flavour on earth. You get used to it.”

“That’s gross,” Jeongguk mutters, shuddering as he swallows to try to rid himself of the taste.

“It’s not that bad.” Taehyung puts his cock back into his ever-present jeans before lifting Jeongguk up and kissing him lightly. “If you don’t like my cum, you’re going to hate other dudes’ cum. Mine is supernaturally engineered to be better to the taste.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, though he’s not entirely sure if it’s because of Taehyung’s wording or his implication that Jeongguk will ever suck another dude’s dick.

He doesn’t want to, he decides then and there. It’s childish and silly. He’s only known Taehyung – an immortal demon who he cannot be with because he resides in Hell and will outlive Jeongguk – for a few months. Still, he thinks he knows him by now. Knows him well enough, anyway.

He wants Taehyung and Taehyung only.

He ignores whatever the man is prattling on about – something about supernatural cum and its viscosity – and says,

“Let’s go on a date.”

Taehyung pauses, eyes darting up to meet Jeongguk’s serious gaze.

“Jeongguk…”

“Come on. We both like each other, right?”

“We really shouldn’t,” Taehyung whispers, looking away.

“Why not?”

“Because, Jeongguk, I’m-”

“Yes, I know, Tae.” He reaches forward and places his hands on either side of Taehyung’s face, gentle hands cupping his jaw and pulling him back to face him. Ignoring his shocked expression, Jeongguk smiles as he traces his thumbs over his smooth cheeks, pressing lightly into the divots under his cheekbones. “I know that you’re going to have leave some day and that we’re two different species and that you’re going to outlive me. I know all of that. I know that we only have so much time. We should make the most of it, yes?”

Taehyung lets out a shuddering breath.

“I don’t know, Guk… We should probably try to keep things as professional as we possibly can. It’ll make it easier.”

“It’s far too late for professionality,” Jeongguk says with an eye roll, before poking Taehyung in the chest with a cheeky grin. “You like me way too much already.”

Taehyung squints at him, but shrugs.

“I won’t deny it.” A heavy sigh and then, “Fine. Take me on a date. Tomorrow. But you’re paying, since it’s your idea.”

“I would’ve been paying anyway.”

“You wouldn’t have to. I’d just steal everything.”

Jeongguk frowns, pulling back. “That’s wrong.”

“Hello?” He says, pointing to himself. "I'm a demon."

“Right,” Jeongguk mutters. “How could I forget?”

“Come on,” Taehyung says, pushing off the wall and taking Jeongguk with him. “You’ve got cum on your chin and your friend is definitely going to be concerned if he sees you with your lips all swollen like they are.”

Jeongguk punches him in the stomach none-too-lightly. The guy’s immortal. He can take it.

 

--

 

He takes Taehyung to McDonalds.

Yeah, it’s not classy. But Taehyung is invisible. Jeongguk can’t exactly take him to a fancy restaurant and then order meals for two. The staff would undoubtedly be very concerned when they see the food magically disappearing. Besides, Taehyung has never had McDonalds before. It’s time for Jeongguk to enlighten him.

He orders a bunch of items from the menu in order to give Taehyung the full experience, only to realise that he has to carry it all himself – again, the invisible demon carrying their lunch is not a great idea – but thankfully there is a nice park not too far away from the restaurant. He takes them to a spot where the trees are thicker and a willow conceals them from the view of any prying eyes. There he spreads their food over the blanket he shoved into his bag and tells Taehyung to dig in.

“This looks really greasy,” Taehyung observes as he picks up a chip. “Sort of disgusting.”

“That’s what makes it good,” Jeongguk says in return, picking up a soggy burger and taking a huge mouthful. Through it he says, “Try it before it gets even grosser.”

Taehyung doesn’t seem impressed by the first bite, but just like with the popcorn at the cinema, Jeongguk watches as he seems to unconsciously take larger and larger handfuls until Jeongguk blinks and he has eaten half of the food.

“Wow,” he’s muttering into a burger. “This is so disgusting but I can’t stop eating it. Now I understand why most of humankind is so fat.”

“Uh huh. It’s hard to resist.”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung tosses the wrapper over his shoulder. Jeongguk gives him a dirty look as he reaches back to collect it.

“You shouldn’t litter. You’re killing the earth.”

“Not my planet, not my problem.”

“You’re awful.”

“Jeongguk, I want to thank you.” Taehyung turns over onto his stomach, chin resting on his hand, legs kicking behind him. Jeongguk wonders how he never noticed how cute he is. Or maybe he did notice and he's been desperately trying to ignore this fact for the sake of his own sanity. “I still stand by what I said earlier: this is a bad idea. We’re just making things harder for ourselves, prolonging the inevitable, yada, yada, yada.” He pauses, bites his lip for a moment, then says, “But I’ve never been so happy before. So thank you.”

“Am I really that great?” Jeongguk jokes, shifting on the spot, glancing down at his fingers.

“It’s not because of you.” Jeongguk immediately furrows his brows. Taehyung giggles, tilting his head to the side. “Don’t get upset. I mean, of course it’s because of you, but I meant that I’m not happy just because I like you, or whatever. Like I told you a while back, no one has ever done this for me. No one has ever gone out of their way to make me feel welcome on earth. This is the first date I’ve been on in my multi-millennial existence. I feel like I’m alive. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Jeongguk meets his very sincere gaze and finds himself smiling.

“You’re welcome. I- I want to say thank you as well. I know that it’s your job, and everything, and I know I didn’t want this, and that I’ve been so awkward and horrible for you to deal with, and I know-”

“You’re welcome, baby” Taehyung says over the top of him, smirking.

Jeongguk throws some cold fries at his face. “Shut up.”

“It’s not just a job,” Taehyung says after he’s finished laughing into the palm of his hand. “In case that wasn’t obvious to you already. You mean a lot more to me than that.”

“Alright,” Jeongguk sits up, brushing burger crumbs off of his jeans. “That’s enough of the sentimental stuff.”

“You’re right,” Taehyung agrees, pushing himself up onto his palms. “Take me somewhere fun. This date is boring.”

“Wow. You’re one of those dates, huh?”

“Huh?”

“The picky, demanding kind,” he elaborates as he stands, offering Taehyung a hand up after him. “The kind that wants to speak to the manager because their order wasn’t perfect.”

“It’s cute that you’re acting like you have any experience dating.”

“Hey, I’ve been on dates before.” Taehyung squints at him. “Shut up. I’ve been on a date.”

“Did you take her to McDonalds too?” Taehyung only laughs when Jeongguk growls at him, linking his arm with his. “C’mon, cutie. Woo me.”

 

--

 

Jeongguk takes Taehyung to a fairground a few suburbs away. On the train there, Taehyung goes out of his way to find methods of embarrassing Jeongguk, like pushing him into other passengers, or saying stupid things to him, knowing that he can’t reply. Jeongguk doesn’t even bother to check that no one is looking before punching him in the thigh.

He has a momentary brain lapse when they’re at the front gate, buying two tickets. Taehyung laughs at him for a good few minutes because of that.

“Don’t worry. I’ll just steal you a bunch of stuff to make up for it.”

“Stop trying to commit crimes. It’s making me like you less.”

“You humans are strange with the way you assign value to valueless things. Why can’t I take that dumb bear?” Taehyung points at a stall where you shoot the targets to win prizes. “It’s just some cotton and fluff.”

“You’re a child of Satan. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

It’s nice. Spending time with Taehyung. Jeongguk isn’t surprised by this. Once he stops stressing over how he must look to the outside world – some random guy talking to himself and walking with an armful of fair prizes because Taehyung can’t hold them without freaking people out – he has a lot of fun. He feels young and free when he’s with Taehyung, cliché as it might seem. Maybe it’s because of what Taehyung said earlier, but the demon really seems to have something invigorating about him, like he has a real appreciation for life and living. It makes Jeongguk want to show him everything.

He wants to show Taehyung the world, he decides.

They continue wandering over the grounds. Taehyung is drawn to nearly everything, Jeongguk following him helplessly. The demon pouts viciously when Jeongguk declines his request to take him on the rollercoaster rides, crossing his arms and huffing.

“They can’t see you. They’re going to put some other random person next to me and you’ll end up missing out anyway.”

Taehyung refuses to acknowledge his logic, whining for a good few minutes until his attention is finally snatched up by the next shiny thing.

“What about that one? There are heaps of free seats on that one.”

“Taehyung, that’s for kids. C’mon, let’s just-”

“This is the worst date I’ve ever been on."

“This if the only date-”

“1 out of 5 stars.”

Jeongguk frowns at him.

“Come on, Gukkie,” Taehyung tugs at his arm, almost toppling his teetering tower of stuffed bears. “Please? I may never get this experience ever again.”

“No,” Jeongguk mumbles, purposely avoiding making contact with his shining puppy-dog eyes.

“Please, please, please.”

“You whine a lot for multi-thousand year old guy.”

“I’m not giving you another orgasm if you don’t take me on that ride,” he threatens.

“You’ll die if you don’t.”

“I don’t care. I’d rather die than give an orgasm to the world’s worst date.”

“Fine by me.”

Taehyung suddenly changes his tactics, leaning up against Jeongguk’s side.

“If you take me on that ride, I’ll give you a blowjob when we get home.” He nibbles on his earlobe, making him stiffen. He feels fingers walking their way up his thigh. Taehyung is touching him in front of a crowd of strangers and none of them know it. But Jeongguk does and his hands are full, so he’s helpless to stop it. “I’ll show you how it’s really done, give you an orgasm that'll blow your mind.”

Jeongguk clears his throat as he quickly turns away, stomping up to the ticket booth.

“You’d better make it a good one," he grumbles under his breath, before looking at the staff member in the booth. “One ticket, please.”

The woman raises an eyebrow, looking him up and down, before shrugging and taking his money.

Taehyung squeals as they load onto the children's merry-go-round. Jeongguk sits on top of a unicorn, face red as he looks at the kids all around them. He’s the only adult on this damned ride.

“I hate you,” he mumbles, resting his forehead against the pole as the ride starts up.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Taehyung laughs from beside him as he bobs up and down on the frog he is sat upon. “Have a little fun.”

Jeongguk can’t say he gets much “fun” out of the judgemental stares the parents who are waiting for their children are giving him, but he has a lot of fun watching Taehyung tip his head back and squeal at the rather lacklustre ride.

On their way back from the fairgrounds, Taehyung slips his hand into Jeongguk’s, the one he isn’t using to hold their bag of prizes. The younger boy glances over at him, but the demon is busy looking around at the buildings above them, seemingly unaware that he made the move. Jeongguk just smiles and lets him absentmindedly swing their hands between them.

He’s in deep trouble and he knows it.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung cries, fingers clenching around Jeongguk’s. “Finally!”

“What?” Jeongguk asks, following his gaze.

“A sex shop! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to come across one of these?”

“No.” Jeongguk puts his foot down, quite literally as he digs his heels into the ground, keeping Taehyung in place. “No, Tae, I’m not going in there.”

“Come on, Guk.” Taehyung turns to him with an exasperated look. “You’re an adult. No one is going to judge you for it. They won’t even look twice at you!”

Jeongguk glances down to the bag he’s holding, a stuffed pink teddy bear peeking out of the top.

He knows there’s no way he’s going to win against Taehyung.

Because you’re whipped, his internal voice whispers, which he ignores like he always does.

Taehyung pulls him into the store. Just like he said, the two people who are inside – one customer and the man behind the register – barely glance up at him as he enters. Still, Jeongguk swallows nervously as Taehyung heads down the aisles.

“Oh gosh,” he’s cooing, looking around. “What should we get you? A buttplug? You’d look so cute with a little bunny tail plug. Oh, maybe nipple clamps?” He picks up a plastic package with some hot pink clamps inside. “You’ve got such sensitive nipples. I wonder-”

“I don’t want anything,” Jeongguk hisses, voice low as the other customer walks through the aisle beside them. “Get shit for yourself, not me.”

“But don’t you want to try anything?” Taehyung looks around, eyes gleaming like a kid in a candy store. “A vibrator? Not even a fleshlight?” He picks up a package with a black toy inside. He holds it up. “Ooh, a prostate massager. This would blow your mind.”

“Stop it." Jeongguk grabs the package out of his hand.

“Do you need any help, sir?” He whirls around to see the man from the register staring at him with one brow raised, hands linked behind his back as he glances down at the product in his hand. “That’s an excellent choice, sir.”

“I- No- I don’t want…” Jeongguk quickly puts the item on the shelf before turning back with a bow. “I don’t need any help, thank you.”

The man just nods as he turns around and walks away. Jeongguk spins to see Taehyung clutching a shelf, wheezing as he laughs.

“You- You should’ve seen your face when he came up behind you.”

“Ass.” Jeongguk kicks his ankle. Despite his frustration, he can't find it in himself to kick him too hard. “You knew he was there.”

“Maybe,” Taehyung singsongs.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“But you haven’t bought anything.”

“I’m not going to either.”

He can practically hear Taehyung pouting as he drags him through the front door.

“Thank you, Guk,” Taehyung says when they get off of the train, Jeongguk having ignored his complaining about their lack of sex toys for the entire trip. “I had a good time, even if you are a prude.”

Jeongguk disregards his jab and modestly says, “It wasn’t even a proper date. Not really.”

“Well, I had a lot of fun. If someone told me that all of our future dates would be just like this, I’d be quite content, I think.”

Jeongguk meets his eyes, noting the way they dull as he finishes his sentence. He gives him a small smile, but says nothing in response. 

 

--

 

Taehyung is shaking by the time that they reach the dorm.

It started when they were a good ten blocks away. The demon had managed to snake his hand back into Jeongguk’s, but after some time he had become quiet, his grip growing tighter and tighter with every step they took.

“Are you trying to cut off the circulation to my hand, or something?” Jeongguk had joked, shaking his arm to get him to release his grip. “Seriously, dude, let go.”

“Jeongguk-ah.” Taehyung turned to him, his skin pale. “I don’t feel good.”

Jeongguk had only needed to take one glance at his chapped lips and his wild, flittering, bloodshot eyes to figure out what was going on.

“Come on,” he had muttered, tugging him forwards. “Come on, Tae, let’s go.”

Now, walking back into Jeongguk’s room with thankfully no hyungs lingering in the main dorm, Taehyung’s whole body is trembling, shaking like a stubborn autumn leaf in a winter storm. He's collapsed against Jeongguk after his steps started stumbling right as they entered the dorm block. 

“Come here,” Jeongguk says, pulling him towards him even before the door has clicked closed. Taehyung seems small in that moment, herded under Jeongguk’s arms as he falls into him, pressing in as close as they can physically get. 

“It’s not- not fixing it, Guk. We need to…”

“I know, I know.” He starts tugging Taehyung towards the bed. In a flimsy bid to lower the tension, he says, “Come on, you owe me a blowjob anyway, right?”

“Right,” Taehyung answers, laughing quietly. His skin is like ivory when they let go, but Taehyung's quick to get on his knees. “O-okay. Come to the edge of the bed.”

Jeongguk does as he’s told, self-consciousness not even present in his mind as he spreads his legs, more concerned with Taehyung’s lips and how they’re tinged with blue.

“Get- get th-these off,” he stutters, tugging at Jeongguk’s jeans. The younger quickly complies, kicking his pants and underwear off in one go. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to wrap a hand around his cock and quickly start jerking it up and down. 

Jeongguk watches with a stinging in the back of his eyes as Taehyung sighs, shoulders lowering, breaths evening out.

“That’s better,” he mumbles, inhaling deeply, exhaling shakily. “Fuck.”

“You’re okay?” Jeongguk asks with wide eyes, the feeling of a hand on his cock nothing compared to the relief he feels as he watches the colour melting back into Taehyung’s skin, the sparkle shining in his eyes once more.

“Yeah,” Taehyung breathes out. “Yeah. Your cock is literally a lifesaver, Guk.”

“Shut up,” he mumbles, unable to contain his stupid grin that Taehyung mirrors, pearly white teeth gleaming. It immediately fades when Jeongguk says, “We should- we should talk about this.”

“Not now,” Taehyung mutters. “Let me make you feel good first.”

Jeongguk isn’t so sure that he can focus on a lesson right now, not with the way worry swirls angrily in his gut.

Then Taehyung leans forward and kisses the head of his dick and his mind goes completely blank.

“Pay attention, baby. Don’t think right now. We can worry later. Right now, I want to make you feel good. So, just listen, okay? Just relax and listen.”

“O-okay,” Jeongguk answers. He looks down at Taehyung properly, sees him kneeling between his legs, one hand wrapped around his dick, the other stroking over his inner thigh. His face is close to his cock and finally Jeongguk feels himself coming down from his panic. Taehyung is okay, at least for now. The tension in his stomach slowly dispels as his mind starts to focus on the situation he’s in.

Taehyung is about to suck his dick. He’s about to put his tongue all over Jeongguk’s cock. Lick him, taste him.

Shit.

“I- What if I-”

“Hm?” Taehyung peers up at him through his lashes and he suddenly understands why the other was so thrown by Jeongguk kneeling in front of him the first time. There's something sinful about how Taehyung looks from between his legs and it's got nothing to do with his hellish origins. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Pleasant tingles spread over his skin at the nickname that Taehyung seems to be quite attached to using by now. Jeongguk’s feels his eyelids threatening to flutter closed, but he fights to keep them open, his self-consciousness rearing it's ugly and pestilent head. 

“What if it doesn’t taste good?” He whispers, trying to keep himself from having another fit of embarrassment. Taehyung has already told him multiple times that he looks fine, is just like anyone else he has ever slept with. It would be childish for Jeongguk to still be having issues, right?

Taehyung leans back somewhat, face straight.

“Did you shower today?”

“No,” Jeongguk whispers. “Not since last night. And we’ve been out all day, I just…”

Taehyung hums and then stands up. Jeongguk feels his stomach sinking because he fucked up. Again. Taehyung could die if Jeongguk doesn't let him suck his dick and here he is worrying about stupid things like whether or not his cum tastes good. Taehyung doesn't say anything though, just grabbing Jeongguk by the hand and yanking him towards the door.

“Wh-where are we going?”

“To the shower,” Taehyung says, peeking his head out of the door and, upon finding the room clear, pulling Jeongguk into it. The other yelps as he pulls his shirt down to cover himself, but Taehyung is quick as he moves them towards the bathroom. “I’ll blow you in there.”

He yanks a dazed Jeongguk into the room and quickly pushes him into the shower. With one hand on his wrist, keeping them connected, he leans in and says, “You have three seconds to get your shirt off before I turn the water on.”

“Huh? I-”

“Too late!”

Jeongguk yelps as icy cold-water rains down over his head. Taehyung laughs from outside as he curses, jumping away from the stream. He growls and reaches forward for the snickering demon, pulling him into the shower to bare the shock of the cold with him.

“Fuck, Guk!” Taehyung stumbles on the slippery floor as his sheer shirt quickly soaks through.

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” He holds him under the shower-head, cracking a smirk as Taehyung splutters under it.

Eventually he manages to get out from under the spray, wriggling out of Jeongguk’s hold and laughing, splashing water in his face before turning around to adjust the temperature. As the water heats up, so does Jeongguk, watching with wide eyes as Taehyung starts pulling his clothes off.

“Come on, big boy. Off.”

Jeongguk swallows as he tugs his shirt off.

They’re completely naked and Jeongguk has no idea where he should look, if he should cover himself. He has half a mind to turn away when Taehyung’s hand grips his chin.

“I’m doing this for you,” he says. “I would’ve been happy to suck your sweaty dick, just so you know. But I know how shy you get and I want you to be comfortable for this. That being said,” he lowers his voice as he comes closer, pressing his lips to Jeongguk’s for a short moment, pulling back before he can respond, “you should know by now that I think you’re beautiful. That you are beautiful. You have nothing to hide.”

Jeongguk gulps before pulling away from his grasp.

“I’m trying,” he whispers. “It’s hard, though.”

“I know that,” Taehyung says, stepping back so that the shower is raining down on him. Water carves its way down his smooth chest, golden skin covered in rivulets that Jeongguk finds himself wanting to lick away, tracing the contour of his body with his tongue. He wonders how he ever thought he was straight, how he never noticed how beautiful a man’s body could be.

Maybe it’s just Taehyung, says something inside of him.

Maybe it’s right.

“I know you’re trying,” Taehyung says over the top of his internal monologue, “and you might not realise it but you’ve already made so much progress, Jeongguk. You went from wanting to get a handjob under the blankets,” he pauses to chuckle, “to letting me see you naked with not too much fuss. I’m really proud of you for coming this far.”

Jeongguk isn’t sure what to say, something airy and light fluttering in his chest. He settles for nodding.

“Now I just need you to admit that you’re a god damn walking snack and my work here will be done,” Taehyung jokes, grinning at him before abruptly yanking him forward. “Come here and kiss me.”

Under the stream of the shower they kiss, lips pressed together as their arms snake around each other. Taehyung’s tongue plays with Jeongguk’s, coaxing it forward into his own mouth. Jeongguk is more than happy to follow, delving in and feeling rather overwhelmed when the other moans happily.

“Okay.” Taehyung breaks away with a pant. “You have ten seconds to wash yourself before I start blowing you.”

Jeongguk, learning his lesson from only a few minutes prior, dives for a bottle of body wash and practically unloads it onto his body. Never mind that it's Jimin's and that it's Honey Tea flavour. In that ten seconds he thinks, thinks about the fact that maybe Taehyung is right. Maybe he has made progress. There’s no way he would’ve felt so comfortable as he does now, naked in front of someone else. That’s not to say that he’s completely comfortable. He's hyperaware of himself, of the fact that Taehyung is unashamedly casting his eyes over the plains of his body. That hasn't changed, but now there's something in his mind that is telling him to relax. Something that wasn't there before that is now speaking gently, reassuring him. Taehyung likes you, Taehyung won’t make fun of you.

Taehyung thinks you’re beautiful.

Taehyung is dropping to his knees in front of him before he has even gotten to seven. He knocks Jeongguk’s hands away and says, “We’re going to waste so much water because of your insecurity.”

“You’re the one who- ah-”

Taehyung, apparently not interested in bickering any further, leans forward to kiss Jeongguk’s dick like he did earlier. He presses his lips to the head, looking right up into Jeongguk’s eyes as he obscenely drags his lips over the slit.

“You already know the basics,” he murmurs as he pulls back slightly, “so I’m going to focus on showing you how to blow someone away. Get it?”

Jeongguk thumps his fist down on his shoulder.

“Just do it, Tae.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” the demon mutters before schooling his features. “Alright, Guk, pay attention.”

He leans forward and pokes his pink tongue out from between his full lips, applying kitten licks to the very tip of his cock a few times.

“T-Tae,” Jeongguk stutters, desperately forcing himself to keep his hips steady.

“Teasing is everything,” Taehyung says, hand at the base of his cock squeezing lightly. “Like I've told you before: get your partner into the right mindset before you try to go in for the main event. Light touches, starting and stopping, anything that will get them turned on and in the mood.”

Jeongguk watches him lean back in, this time lowering his head until his tongue is pressed to the base of his cock. He lets his head fall back against the shower glass as he feels the wetness moving up along his shaft. They're positioned so that Jeongguk is mostly out of the stream of the shower and he feels the chilly air biting at his skin, but the warmth that emanates from Taehyung's tongue spreads over his whole body in waves. When he moves back down, Jeongguk feels him kissing the length, the wet sound of his lips against skin as he reaches his balls and does the same to them.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, fists clenched against the wall. “Fuck, Tae.”

“When you decide that you want to do more, you can get a bit more serious. Try something like this,” he presses his tongue up against his balls, slathering it over them both before dragging his tongue back to the tip, Jeongguk tenses his thighs and gasps. “Or this.” Taehyung’s hand moves up to the middle of his shaft, holding it steady as he takes the head of his cock into his mouth. He suckles at the tip, the feeling of his tongue swirling around it like nothing Jeongguk has ever felt before. He’s only ever had his hand before now, only ever been able to imagine what a tongue might feel like. Now he gets it. He gets what the hype is about and Taehyung has barely started. His abdomen clenches of its own accord, his thighs tensing until they shake. Taehyung lets go of him with a pop, lips moving against the sensitive skin of his cock head as he asks, “Feel good, Guk?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk manages to say in one go, no stuttering.

“Good,” Taehyung replies, laughing for some reason. Maybe because Jeongguk is still staring at the back of his eyelids, head pressed to the glass. “Look at me, baby.”

He can’t disobey, not when Taehyung’s voice is resonating so deeply like that. Jeongguk looks just in time to see him lean back down, tip of his tongue dipping into his slit and Jeongguk’s knees weaken. He dips, crying out as Taehyung’s hands fly to his hips, his shoulders pressing into him to keep him from falling.

He giggles as Jeongguk stands back upright, cheeks glowing red though he’ll blame that on the steam of the shower.

“Cute,” he remarks. “You know, I’ve never been with someone who has zero sexual experience. I’ve been with virgins of course, but they’ve usually had some sexual interactions to speak of.”

“I do have some experience,” Jeongguk grumbles, shaken as Taehyung keeps his lips pressed to his shaft. The light touches have him clenching every muscle in his body.

“Sorry, I forgot your wild night with your high school lover. How long did that whole thing last? About thirty seconds?”

He’s not wrong, so Jeongguk chooses silence as a response. Taehyung chuckles before returning to the task at hand.

“Alright. Once you’ve got your partner horny, it’s time to get serious. Here is where you apply the techniques I’ve been teaching you. You can’t go wrong if you just focus and take your time.”

Jeongguk watches Taehyung take his cock into his mouth, the heat and wetness around his length making him stiffen up, biting his tongue so hard he tastes blood. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to start bobbing his head, just like he taught Jeongguk to. It feels good, really fucking good, and Jeongguk slaps his hand back against the glass in a desperate search for something to hold onto, anything to hold onto.

The steam rises and clogs his throat as he pants heavily, unable to look away as Taehyung's head bounces up and down. He can feel his tongue flicking over his head every time it passes by it, can feel the tip of his cock every time it touches the back of his throat, the tight wetness making him gasp and grit his teeth. 

“Guk,” Taehyung pulls away, much to his dismay, hand replacing his mouth as he slowly pumps it along his wet length, “I can’t help but notice how quiet you are.”

Jeongguk watches Taehyung raise a brow, gasping as he tries to regain his breath.

“I-”

“I can’t help but notice how quiet you always are," Taehyung continues. "I think I’ve heard you moan a handful of times despite the many amazing orgasms I’ve given you by now.” There’s a tone to his voice that Jeongguk doesn’t like, a playful lilt that he recognises by now. “Why do you hold yourself back, baby?”

“I don’t like my voice,” Jeongguk answers, darting his tongue out to lick his lips.

Taehyung seems completely unsurprised by this.

“But you have such a beautiful voice,” he responds, rubbing his thumb over the slit of his cock, back and forth, back and forth. An almost absent-minded movement, like Taehyung doesn't realise that he's making Jeongguk's thighs tremble with each of the simple movements. The sparkle in his eyes makes Jeongguk fairly sure that he knows exactly what he's doing. “I want to hear it. Can’t I hear it, baby? It would make me so happy.”

Jeongguk wants to make Taehyung happy, of that he is certain. But he’s so used to holding his moans back by now, grunting and groaning instead. He lives in a shared dorm. Of course he holds himself back. 

“I- I don’t know.”

“Don’t make me make you,” Taehyung murmurs and there’s zero threat in his tone but it still makes Jeongguk’s spine stiffen. “Here, I’ll show you something that always pushes me right to the edge.”

He sits up straighter on his knees and shuffles closer.

“I’m going to deepthroat you, okay, baby?” Jeongguk just stares at him, eyes round. “It’s not something that everyone can do. Some people have more sensitive gag reflexes than others. The only way to tell if you can do it is to try it. Basically, you follow the same technique as before, but you focus on breathing evenly and relaxing the muscles in your throat. It’s all about relaxing.”

Jeongguk watches, not blinking, as Taehyung takes a deep breath and then brings his mouth down over his cock like before. He slides his lips down, and down, and down, and then further. Jeongguk shudders as he feels the heat encompassing his entire cock, Taehyung’s palms on his hips keeping him still until his nose is pressed up against his pubic hair.

“F-fuck, hyung,” Jeongguk chokes out, hips juddering under his hold. “Fuck.”

Taehyung reaches up with one hand to capture one of Jeongguk’s, bringing it down to his head. Jeongguk quickly gets the message, threading his fingers through his damp locks, somehow still perfect even when they’re wet. He feels Taehyung move his head back against his hand and he follows, closing his eyes tightly as the feeling of his wet mouth on his dick has him practically ascending right there in the shitty bathroom.

“Tae,” he hisses, hand tightening in his hair. He pulls him back toward him until his nose is pressed to his skin again, then pushes him away. In that moment his mind shuts down. Gone are his usual worries, his concerns that he could be hurting Taehyung, his self-consciousness as he starts to let go of some questionably sexual noises, groaning loudly through his teeth. It feels so fucking good, just Taehyung’s wet mouth at his mercy, his whole cock hot and enveloped in tight heat.

Then he feels Taehyung swallow around his cock.

“Fuck!” He shouts, forgetting that there are other people living in this dorm with him who could very well be back and hearing all of this. “Fuck, Tae, fuck!” He grabs his head with both hands and with zero finesse or rhythm, pulls him onto his cock and starts fucking into his mouth. He can't think straight, his mind narrowing down to one thought process: chase that feeling, find a way to stay in this warmth for the rest of eternity.

He gets about three thrusts in before Taehyung’s hands fly up to his, nails digging into the top of Jeongguk's fingers and making him yelp in pain. He lets go, in shock as Taehyung pulls back and starts coughing.

“Fuck me,” he rasps, turning to glare at Jeongguk. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“I- Sorry,” he breathes out, realising that he lost control of himself. Embarrassment hits him so hard that he feels tears stinging at his eyes and fuck, not again. “You- you were the one who put my hand on your head.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting you to try to facefuck me,” Taehyung snaps, then sighs when Jeongguk flinches. He reaches out and pinches his thigh, in a much softer voice saying, “Hey, calm down. It’s okay. This is what I’m here for. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Jeongguk nods, his throat tight and convulsing.

Don’t cry, dickhead. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

“Idiot,” Taehyung says, voice thick with fondness. He traces his fingers over his thighs, smiling up at him. “You’re so cute.”

“Did I hurt you?” He asks quietly, not meeting his eyes.

“Only at the very end. Like I said, I wasn’t expecting you to go that hard. I guess I assumed that you wouldn’t have the confidence to do something like that, but I was obviously wrong.” He chuckles as leans forward to kiss the skin of his left thigh. “That’s my mistake for assuming, not yours.”

“Sorry,” Jeongguk says anyway. “Do you- do you want to stop?”

“No,” Taehyung answers immediately. “Do you want to stop?”

Jeongguk breathes in shakily and then says, “No.”

“Good,” Taehyung says, smiling. “Let me show you one of my favourite ways to make someone come during a blowjob.”

With that, he leans back down and takes Jeongguk’s cock back into his mouth. It had softened just a little, what with the sudden emotional spike he’d experienced, but he has no trouble hardening again when Taehyung licks over his slit and then sinks his lips down over his shaft.

He bobs his head up and down, no trouble as the tip touches the back of his throat. Jeongguk keeps his hands by his side this time, pressing them flat against the wall and focussing on the feelings, on the ball of tension in his groin that builds and builds and builds.

Taehyung’s tongue starts flickering under his shaft, up over the vein and then focussing on the spot right under the helmet. Dazed, Jeongguk groans, biting his lip as he feels one of Taehyung’s hands rubbing over his balls, caressing them and squeezing lightly, making him jerk. He tries not to thrust his hips again, but it’s oh so hard when Taehyung’s other hand presses to a spot right underneath his balls. It’s just a patch of skin, nothing special, but Taehyung pushes his finger up firmly and moves it in such a way that Jeongguk is at first unimpressed by. Then, after a few movements back and forth coupled with the continued bliss that Taehyung's tongue is subjecting the head of his cock to, he feels a pressure that he has never felt before, something weird building inside of him that makes his entire body tremble and he can’t contain the whimpers that rise in his throat.

“Taehyung,” he moans out quietly, becoming dizzy at the combination of Taehyung’s flickering tongue and light grip on his balls, with his wiggling finger and the warmth of his mouth. It’s all a little too much and this time when Jeongguk throws his head back he knocks into the glass so hard that it hurts and he’s not sure if the stars he sees are from the impact or from the way Taehyung sucks down on his cock. Either way it doesn’t matter, because in that moment Jeongguk loses control of himself and moans, moans just like Taehyung wanted him to, whining cries that he doesn’t even register are coming from him because he’s too busy coming down Taehyung’s throat, spilling his seed into his mouth and this is the best thing he has ever experienced, nothing will ever top this, nothing.

Taehyung keeps sucking him until his cries turn to gasps, a grunt wrenched from his chest and a trembling of his thighs that has the other finally pulling away with a loud pop.

Jeongguk slides down the wall, legs like jelly. Taehyung chuckles at his collapsed form as he wipes his mouth, before reaching up to turn the water off.

At least one of them is thinking right now.

“You enjoy that, baby?” he asks, like the answer isn’t completely obvious.

“What the fuck did you do?” Jeongguk rasps, not bothering to lift his heavy head off of the wall, looking at Taehyung’s amused expression from the corner of his eyes.

“I gave you a blowjob, sweetheart.”

“No shit,” he hisses, a lazy hand reaching out to swat at him. “I meant… what did you do?” Because Jeongguk is no blowjob expert but he just knows that that was special somehow.

Taehyung giggles as he reaches forward, delicate hands lifting Jeongguk’s softening cock but he still flinches.

“I stimulated two extra spots. Here,” he gently rubs his finger over the point at the underside of his dick, where the helmet meets the shaft. Jeongguk jerks, a small cry wrestling its way from his throat, “is your frenulum. It’s a sensitive spot for a lot of guys. Rub it with your tongue or your thumb. And here,” he gestures down at the patch of skin just below his balls, pressing lightly, “is your perineum. It can be nice when the skin is stimulated lightly, but it’s also a place where the prostate can be externally stimulated.” He pauses, and then, “You do know about the prostate, right?”

“Of course I do,” Jeongguk answers immediately. He definitely remembers his health teacher telling him something about it in high school, something about cancer, or something. Somehow, he thinks that that’s not why Taehyung is bringing it up, but he's not about to admit to not knowing something, now is he?

Taehyung smiles and says, “We’ll cover that later, so don’t worry about it. Anyway, that was what I did. Good for getting even the most stubborn guys,” and he takes a second to flick Jeongguk’s forehead, “to make a little bit of noise.”

“Oh god,” Jeongguk tosses his head back.

“Hey,” Taehyung reaches over to slap his ankle. “Stop this! You need to stop looking down on yourself. What could possibly be wrong with your moans? You sounded heavenly. Almost as good as your singing voice that one time you didn’t know I was in the bathroom with you.”

“No,” Jeongguk kicks his foot, shaking his hand off. “I meant, oh god, I made a fuck ton of noise and there’s no way the others didn’t hear all of that if they’re back.”

“Oh.” Taehyung laughs, eyes creasing. He looks beautiful, Jeongguk thinks. “Oh well.”

Jeongguk reaches up to brush his wet hair off of his forehead, some energy returning to him as he manages to sit up straight.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, throat constricting. In that moment he’s thanking Taehyung for a lot of things. For the orgasm, for teaching him these things, for being so patient with him, for never mocking him, for liking him, for making him feel wanted.

Taehyung looks into his eyes, a shaky attempt at a smile on his face. His lips quiver at the corners, before he gives up entirely, something terribly sad in his eyes as he leans forward and brushes his hand over his cheek.

“You look so handsome with your hair off of your forehead like this,” is what he says, voice quiet, almost a whisper.

Jeongguk reaches up and grabs his hand. He doesn’t do anything, just holds it there, warmth against his warmth.

“Do you feel better?”

“I do,” Taehyung says.

“What happened, do you think?”

“I think…” Taehyung’s hand twitches against his skin. His eyes drop down to the wet tiles, watching the water leaking away. “I think that it’s getting stronger. The curse. I think because we spent all day out and we haven’t done anything sexual since the day before, the punishment is getting stronger. Like it knows that I’m avoiding my duties.”

“So…” Jeongguk grips his fingers tightly, staring at Taehyung’s wet hair where it falls into his eyes. “You’re saying that we need to do something once a day to keep you alive? Or more, or?”

“I’m saying,” Taehyung meets his eyes once more, but this time they’re harder, solemn, “that we’re running out of time, Jeongguk.”

He pulls his hand out of his. Jeongguk lets him slip away.

“We’re just going to have to keep going. We can’t slack off anymore. I have to finish showing you everything and we have to stop avoiding sex.” He swallows audibly, then softens his voice. “You know that I don’t want this, Jeongguk. I wish things weren’t like this. But we have no other choice. It’s either we move forward or I die. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jeongguk whispers, because he has nothing else to say. “Okay.”

Chapter Text

Jeongguk receives a text from Hoseok right as he's leaving the gym one afternoon. It reads, Our place, video games, now!!!  Jeongguk, in an effort to stop Jimin from calling his parents because he’s really that worried about him, immediately accepted the invitation and headed straight to his hyung's dorm. In all honesty, he has sort of missed this. Just himself and his friends strewn across some second-hand couches that are far too small for six, talking about nothing and hurling insults at one another. Teasing, and laughing, and having fun, and not thinking about fate and the universe and the fact that time is constantly slipping away.

By now Taehyung knows to keep his talking to a minimum, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem on this particular afternoon. He has been quiet for the last few days, even as he sticks close to Jeongguk’s side. Jeongguk doesn’t need to ask him why. Actually, Taehyung hasn't said a word for a while now, not since Jeongguk first headed off for the gym. He had quietly observed him as he worked out, no remarks about how "deliciously tight" his shorts are or distracting moans covered up with fake coughs. Jeongguk is worried about him, of course, but he knows there's nothing he can do to fix this situation. For the time being, he's trying to ignore the mounting drama for as long as he can and relaxing with his hyungs is the best way to do it. He lets Taehyung lean behind him on the couch and focusses on trying to have fun. 

They’re drinking – and yes it’s only three, but no, they’re not alcoholics. It’s just that time of year where all of the students are stressed enough to be drinking whenever possible. It won’t last much longer. Jeongguk isn’t under stress like his hyung’s are, being a first year, but pressure on his hyungs means pressure on him anyway. If they need to drink to relax, he’ll always be right there next to them, taking part. He doesn’t mind their drunken antics, but their slackened filters turn the conversation to a place that drunkenness tends to lend itself to.

“Did you end up hooking up with Youngmi at that party last week?” Jimin asks from his spot smushed against the arm of one of the couches. Despite the lack of space, he has managed to lay himself out across the couch cushion like a starfish, looking more relaxed than Jeongguk has seen him in months. Perhaps this is because Jeongguk is acting normally for once. It’s true that for the first half hour he had been staring at the youngest of their group, like he was waiting for him to go insane and start talking to himself again. Jeongguk had noticed, of course, his hyung's wary gaze in his peripheral vision making him grind his teeth together. Thankfully, though, Jimin seems to have been satisfied that Jeongguk is in fact, not insane, at least right now, and had visibly melted in relief right there on the couch. Now he’s looking at Hoseok, who has his eyes trained on their small TV screen, slashing at zombies and cursing when he gets hit by one. “I never saw you after you went after her.”

Jeongguk doesn’t remember a party invitation, but that’s probably because he was too busy sucking Taehyung’s dick to care.

“I did,” Hoseok says with a smirk once his character dies, ignoring Namjoon’s pronounced, ‘Ha ha!’ "It was hot,” he explains eloquently.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Two words, Jimin. A. Nal.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose where he’s sitting on the couch. Taehyung has his arms wrapped around his shoulders, laying over the top of the cushion behind him. He leans down to his right side.

“Don't worry,” he murmurs, lips brushing against the shell of his ear, “They’ll grow out of this. Some guys just can’t help sticking their dick in any hole they can find when they’re at this age. I’ve spent enough time around your friends to know that they’re nice, douchebaggery aside.”

Jeongguk laughs quietly, conscious of the way that Jimin immediately glances over to him.

“What are you laughing at, Guk-ah?” Seokjin elbows him from his side. “Something funny about anal?”

Jeongguk immediately splutters and shakes his head.

“No."

“C’mon. You’re recently deflowered. What do you like about sex?”

“Uh…”

“Hyung,” Yoongi's flat tone sounds from the other couch, “leave him alone. He doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“No,” Jeongguk says quickly, surprising everyone when he practically shouts the protest. He meets Jimin’s curious gaze before dropping his eyes to Taehyung’s hands, linked together against his chest. “I- I can talk about it.”

In his peripherals he sees the way Namjoon raises his brows, the way Yoongi tilts his head. Hoseok puts the controller down and turns to face him. Jeongguk fights the growing urge to run away and hide in the bathroom. He feels awkward, he is awkward, but he doesn’t want to be anymore. He wants to be open with his friends. He wants to show them that he has changed, that Taehyung has changed him. They all talk about these things, why shouldn't he?

“I like sex,” he announces, immediately regretting the words and wishing he could take them back. He sounds like a four-year-old doing show-and-tell.

“Yeah?” Seokjin laughs from beside him. “It’s pretty nice, right?”

“Right,” he answers. They’re not making fun of him, which is kind of them, but they’re looking at him way too softly, like they know what he’s trying to do. They probably do. He’s not very subtle.

“What’s your favourite part?” Hoseok asks, leaning forward with keen interest.

“Blowjobs,” Jeongguk answers instantly.

Everyone laughs, including Taehyung who is the only one who knows what he really means.

“Yeah,” Jimin says with a giggle, “blowjobs are pretty good, aren’t they?”

Jeongguk feels his mouth water. Taehyung’s arms tighten around him.

“Yeah,” he rasps and then quickly clears his throat. “Anyway.”

“Our Guk is all grown up,” Seokjin says dotingly, slinging an arm over his shoulder. He feels Taehyung pulling away to make space for him, not that Seokjin notices this or the way that Jeongguk frowns. “Getting blown by his girlfriend that we know nothing about.”

Someone hisses, but Jeongguk only feels guilt in that moment. His friends who have stuck by him since high school, regardless of which phase they’re going through, have loved him and supported him always and without question. They’ve probably been so worried about him lately, not having any clue what he’s up to, if he’s okay, if they should say something, or just leave him be. He owes them some sort of explanation, truth or not. Just for their peace of mind. 

“Right. My girlfriend.” He swallows and looks down at his fingers. “She’s nice.”

The others are silent for a moment. Jeongguk doesn’t need to raise his head to know that they’re all giving each other looks, communicating with their eyes.

“What’s she like, Jeongguk?” Seokjin asks, tone cautious. “Is she good to you?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “She’s perfect.”

“Aw,” Hoseok cries out, jumping forward onto his knees and crawling up to a startled Jeongguk. “That’s so cute. You’re in love!”

“L-love?” He stutters, but the other is already rambling over the top of him.

“How did you guys meet? How come we’ve never seen her? Is she a long-distance girlfriend? You have to be careful, Jeonggukkie. What if she’s a catfish?”

“We’re happy that you’re happy, Jeongguk,” Yoongi says softly.

“Thank you,” he answers. “I am happy.”

And in that moment he can’t help himself. He turns around to look at Taehyung, who is still behind him though he has moved backward a few steps. He’s not smiling. In fact, Jeongguk can see blood welling up as they lock eyes, his expression stricken. Jeongguk quickly turns away.

The others seem to recognise that he doesn’t want to discuss the matter anymore. They move on to another topic and though the transition is clunky and awkward, Jeongguk appreciates that they’re leaving him be.

The rest of the afternoon passes without event. It’s only when they’re walking back to their dorm, that Jimin slings an arm around his shoulder.

“Thanks for opening up to us, Guk.” He looks over at him with a soft smile. “It's nice to hear some of what has been going on in your life, for once."

“It’s okay,” Jeongguk says quietly, mind hyper-focussed on the sound of Taehyung’s footsteps behind him.

“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. Or any of us. Okay? We’ll never judge you, we promise.”

Jimin lets him go, walking ahead and sparing him from thinking of a suitable response.

Once they’re in the sanctity of Jeongguk’s room and free of worried hyungs asking invasive questions, Taehyung shows Jeongguk some more tips to help him perfect his blowjobs, before giving him a blowjob that feels disappointingly lacklustre. Of course, it’s not the infallible sex demon’s fault. His skills are unmatched, naturally, and he easily works another mind-blowing orgasm out of Jeongguk. It’s probably more to do with the fact that the whole ordeal feels like a chore. Something they’re doing just to keep Taehyung healthy and alive, to stave off another episode. It's not as fun, Jeongguk realises, when it's simply an errand to be run.

Afterward, Taehyung is quiet where he sits on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Quiet, until he says,

“I’ve been thinking.”

And Jeongguk knows that this can’t be good. Taehyung waits until he has turned on the bed so that he is facing him before speaking slowly.

“There’s a potential solution to all of this.”

“A solution?” Jeongguk repeats uncertainly.  

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, not meeting his eyes, gaze still trained on the ceiling. “Maybe.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking about us.” Taehyung visibly cringes afterwards, laughs and then continues, “You know, this situation we’re in. And, I don’t know, maybe I’m being too forward. Too assumptive. But I just thought that maybe… I don’t know, it’s just…”

Jeongguk grabs his pillow and pitches it right at Taehyung’s face.

“Hey, that’s-”

“Taehyung, just say it,” he snaps. “You’re making me worry. Since when are you the nervous one?”

Taehyung chuckles again, grabbing the pillow and settling it in his lap. “I guess you’ve just had that effect on me,” he jokes, before sighing. He looks up at Jeongguk and says, “You remember the day we went for a walk along the river?” Jeongguk nods, frowning as he wonders where this might be going. “Do you remember how I told you about demons? About how we live and what hell is like? Remember when I told you about some of the demons before me who sold their immortality to the devil so that they could come to earth?”

Jeongguk sits up straight, staring at Taehyung who focusses on the pillow, stroking his hands over it.

“Tae, you can’t.”

He frowns up at him. “Why not?” 

“No. Don’t be stupid.”

“Jeongguk, I’ve existed for thousands and thousands of years.” Taehyung has a pained look in his eyes, wincing as he speaks. “I’ve spent that time doing the same thing, over and over. Waiting and waiting. Coming to earth, having sex with some random human who doesn’t give a fuck about me. Going back home and then waiting for it to happen again. Over and over, for eternity.” He takes a deep breath in, breathes out through his nose. “I never cared before but-”

“You can’t,” Jeongguk cuts him off. “You can’t give up your immortality just for me.”

“Give me a good reason why I can’t,” he demands, fastening a glare on Jeongguk. His tone is biting when he crosses his arms, saying, “Since you’re so adamant that I don’t, apparently."

“Don't get upset. Be realistic, hyung.” Jeongguk swallows down the taste of bile in his throat, says, “I’m just one guy. I know you’ve never been in a situation like this before and you’ve never spent time with a human like you have with me. But are you really willing to give up eternity, your whole purpose, just for me? Just for some shy, awkward college kid?”

“Yes.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, but he shakes his head.

“That’s stupid. It’s too risky. It's the devil, Tae. He isn’t a benevolent guy." He looks down to the sheets where he slides his fingers over the material. He thinks about what Taehyung told him, about mischief-makers and all of the things that could happen if Taehyung became mortal. His hand tightens into a fist, crinkling the sheets up underneath his skin. "How do you know that he’d grant your wish? How do you know that he wouldn’t just kill you immediately? It’s not worth it.”

“How do you know that he will? I know him a lot better than you do,” Taehyung snaps, a deep furrow working its way across his brow. “Why are you so against this? I’m telling you that there’s a way we could be together. Don’t you want that?”

Jeongguk pauses just long enough for Taehyung’s eyes to widen and his jaw to drop open.

“You- you don’t want that?”

“I mean, of course I do. I do. I like you. We’ve established this already. But…” Jeongguk licks his dry lips, head dropping as he tries to figure out how to make the mess that is in his head come out in a way that won't hurt Taehyung's feelings. “But there’s no guarantee that we’d work out. We hardly know each other, Tae. It’s only been a few months. There are so many things that we don’t know. You might throw away eternity for someone that you don’t even end up liking.”

“Is that what this is about?” Jeongguk glances up just in time to watch Taehyung’s features melt into something softer, warmer. He smiles, standing up and tossing the pillow to the side. “You’re worried that I’m going to not like you? Jeongguk, silly boy, I-”

“It’s not just that,” Jeongguk interrupts, voice loud and firm. Taehyung falters in front of him. There’s something pinching in his chest, telling him to stop this but his mind is louder. He knows that he’s right, that this is right, that this is logical, and that’s why it hurts. “How do I know that I’ll like you?"

"What- what are you talking about?"

"Taehyung, the world isn't perfect like romance movies make it out to be. People don't stay together. Not often. A lot of the time, people get together, fall in love, and then they change. It's natural. People change and grow all of the time. What if we got together only for it not to work out? I really like you now, but I don’t know that you’ll stay this way if you come to earth permanently. What if you change? What if I change? I can’t stand the thought of knowing that you gave up your immortality for something that’s really not that serious.” Taehyung flinches as he says it and Jeongguk quickly stands, hands raising up, reaching out but not touching him. “I’m sorry, Tae, but just be realistic. I like you, I swear, I like you so much it hurts.” He grabs at his chest, pulling at his shirt as though it'll show Taehyung just how badly his heart is aching right now. “But just… think logically.”

Taehyung stares at him, face ashen with disbelief, with confusion.

Then he closes off.

It’s a visible, physical change. A hardening of his features that Jeongguk can see happening before him, like a time-lapse of an autumn lake freezing over as winter coils its frosted clutches over the landscape. His lips press together tightly, his eyes, normally gooey like melted chocolate, hardening like ice. His brows angle downwards, his whole body tensing.

“You’re right,” and his voice is the same as always: low, but light and lilting, musical. He gives Jeongguk a smile that looks no different than any other smile he has ever given him. “You’re right. I was being dumb. It was just a thought I had. But you’re right. What we have isn’t serious. It’s just a bit of fun. It’d be silly of me to get all caught up in that, wouldn’t it?”

He laughs.

The sound grates on Jeongguk’s ears.

“Tae…”

“It’s okay,” he hums, before walking over and surprising Jeongguk when he hops into his lap and plants a kiss on his slack lips. “I think the stress of the whole situation was getting to me. I know you’re just a guy, but you’re a pretty cool one. I don’t like the idea of never seeing you again.”

Jeongguk, still two steps behind him, hesitantly reaches forward to wrap his hands around his waist, but Taehyung pulls away right before he can.

“Anyway, it’s inevitable. It’s only dramatic because we’re going through this right now. In a thousand years you’ll be dead and I will have forgotten about you.”

“Ouch,” Jeongguk mutters, wincing.

“Just being logical,” Taehyung responds, a grin packed full with sharp canines and glinting teeth.

“Right.”

And there is so much that Jeongguk could say, do, to fix things. But as much as he hates this, as much as he knows that he’s just hurt Taehyung’s feelings and the other is trying so desperately to conceal it with his blasé attitude, Jeongguk knows that this is right. He can’t force Taehyung to come back to earth. To give up his immortality just for him. There’s no guarantee that they’ll make it together. What if Taehyung came to earth only to be disappointed with him? What if Taehyung got hurt? What if he grew to regret his decision?

Jeongguk wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

“Right. Well, we better keep moving forward.” Just like that, Taehyung snaps back to his former self, acting as though the conversation never happened.

Jeongguk opens his mouth, wanting to apologise, wanting to say something to fix this.

He closes it and nods.

“Tomorrow we’re going to delve into a new area that has yet to be explored.” Taehyung pauses for dramatic effect, then leans down to whisper, “Your ass.”

Jeongguk stares at him, knowing he must look like Taehyung is holding a gun to his face. The demon cackles.

“Oh, this is going to be fun.”

 

--

 

Guilty isn’t a strong enough word for how Jeongguk feels when he wakes up the next morning to find Taehyung shaking on the bedroom floor.

There hadn’t been any discussion about sleeping arrangements, not for a long time. Taehyung has been sleeping with Jeongguk for weeks now, so it is hardly something to discuss, but obviously the demon wasn’t feeling very cuddly after their conversation since he had evidently slipped out from the sheets after Jeongguk fell asleep.

“What are you doing?” Jeongguk mutters as he drowsily crawls out of the bed and over to Taehyung. He’s not in the worst condition that he has ever found him in, thankfully, but he’s trembling as though he’s freezing, shaking all over where he’s curled on the carpet.

“Thought- thought we shouldn’t share anymore,” he mumbles, not fighting when Jeongguk wraps his arms around him.

“We have to,” Jeongguk answers, lifting him up. Taehyung squeaks, holding onto him. “I can’t have you dying right before we get up to anal, can I?”

It’s a joke that Jeongguk has to fight his way through saying, stuttering on the A-word, but Taehyung tilts his head back and squawks out a laugh. It makes it all worth it. At least he's smiling. 

“So, you’re actually looking forward to it?” He asks as Jeongguk lowers him onto the bed, climbing on after him.

“Nope.” He pops the 'p' as he pulls the sheets over them both. “But I know you are, so that makes me want to do it.”

Taehyung quiets, smile dying on his lips.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” he says lowly, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. Jeongguk stares back at him, something twinging inside of him. Taehyung rolls over on top of him before he can invent a response. “Okay. I feel better.” He holds a steady hand up to prove it, then drops it to the waistband of Jeongguk’s sweatpants. “Let’s do this.”

“What?” Jeongguk’s eyes fly wide open as Taehyung shifts lowers so that he can wrestle his pants off. “Right now? It's not even seven in the morning."

“Anal time is all the time,” Taehyung answers with a cheeky smile. “Unless last night was Mexican food time. But I know you haven’t eaten Mexican recently, so right now, it’s anal time.”

Jeongguk kicks him in the thigh even as he laughs.

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met,” he says with an exaggerated sigh as he allows Taehyung to pull his pants and underwear off. There’s no point struggling. Taehyung always wins. “Seriously, how can you say that stuff without getting embarrassed?”

“Because I’m not a person,” Taehyung answers as he chucks Jeongguk’s clothes to the side. “I’m an incubus. I’m from another realm. I don’t exist, remember?” Jeongguk immediately winces as Taehyung quotes his words from their day at the cinema all of those weeks ago. “Not technically.”

“Hyung…”

“Turn over,” he instructs, ignoring Jeongguk’s affliction. He pokes his now naked hip, prodding at him. “No more useless conversation. It’s time for your lesson.”

“I- Okay.” Jeongguk relents and flips over, movements awkward with Taehyung straddling him, but eventually he manages to get on his stomach, Taehyung sitting atop his thighs.

“Huh,” he remarks, hands trailing up under his shirt, spreading goosebumps over his back. “I assumed you were going to put up a fight. You’re not embarrassed right now?”

“Of course I am,” Jeongguk mutters into the pillow as he turns his head to the side. He is embarrassed. Mortified in fact. His bare ass is on display and he may be a virgin but he has a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen next. He can think of a lot of things he’d rather be doing right now, things that don’t require him to have his pants off, but… “But, it’s you.”

Taehyung’s hands still on his skin. The room becomes silent save for the sound of Jeongguk breathing onto the sheets.

“Right,” Taehyung says and his voice is exactly the same as before, light and relaxed and impenetrable, refusing to drop his act. “Okay. The ass,” he claps his hands down on Jeongguk’s cheeks, making him yelp in surprise, “is a land of wonder.”

Jeongguk snorts even as Taehyung circles the palms of his hands over his cheeks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that there are so many different ways that you can make your future partner feel good. Sticking your dick inside of them isn’t the only way to do it. In fact, a lot of people out there don’t enjoy anal penetration at all.”

“Can you please stop using that word?”

He feels Taehyung's weight shifting over him as he moves, then his breath hot against his ear when he whispers, “Penetration,” in the most disgustingly erotic voice that Jeongguk has ever heard. He shudders exaggeratedly, laughing and jerking underneath him, trying to throw him off-balance. “Stop it!” Taehyung snaps, laughing. It’s a beautiful sound, one that Jeongguk wants to hear more of. Taehyung happy. Taehyung happy to be with him. “Stop!”

Jeongguk gasps when a hand suddenly comes down over his left cheek, making him jolt against the sheets.

“There are plenty of things,” Taehyung continues in his calm, instructional tone, “that you can do just with the buttocks.”

“Please don’t call it that- Fuck!”

“Spanking,” Taehyung continues nonchalantly, rubbing his hand over the reddening skin he’d just slapped once more, “for instance, works well for external stimulation. You have to be careful though as there are certain parts of skin that are more sensitive than others and if you don’t do your research you can cause your partner serious harm. But you can’t go wrong with light, playful slaps.”

To demonstrate, he brings his other hand down on the other cheek, laughing when Jeongguk jolts again, back muscles tensing.

He probably shouldn’t be getting turned on. Probably, but he is. He’s got a hot guy straddling him, touching his ass. His cock is rubbing against the sheets every time he moves and the feeling of Taehyung’s fingers tracing over the freshly spanked skin tingles in a way that makes his head spin.

“I knew you’d be into this,” Taehyung murmurs, more to himself than anything else, but Jeongguk still has to force himself to bite his tongue, preventing the whimper that wants to escape at the sound of his low intonation. “There are other things you can do,” he continues, voice its regular volume as he moves on. “You can gently stroke your hand or fingers over the skin.” He brings the pads of his fingers down from his lower back, over his ass and then to his upper thighs, chills left in their wake. “Or you can squeeze and massage the muscles, like this.”   

He clasps both of his large hands over each of his cheeks. Pressing firmly, he kneads the muscles with unexpectedly delicate touches. Jeongguk’s bravery starts to fade as he feels the way his cheeks pull apart, knowing that his hole is right there and Taehyung can definitely see it.

“Wait,” he interrupts, leaning up on his elbows as Taehyung pauses, hands resting on his ass. Jeongguk looks over his shoulder and says, “I need to, uh…”

“Let me guess,” Taehyung fills in as he trails off, “you want to shower?”

Jeongguk winces at Taehyung’s quirked brow.

“You really love to waste water, don’t you?” He chuckles, but doesn’t shift from his spot atop his thighs. “I understand why you're worried. I promise you, you're just being self-conscious, but for your sake I’ll just use my magic.” He waves a hand in the air and Jeongguk feels no different, but the other nods like he has accomplished something so he relaxes somewhat. “However, remember when you’re with your future partner that hygiene and protection are very important. You can catch some nasty diseases, as I’m sure you’re aware. Always wear a condom if you’re going to penetrate someone and if you're not clean, don't have sex! It can wait. You don't want to deal with someone's gross ass just because you were impatient. Also, always make sure-”

“Okay! I get it!” Jeongguk shoves his head down into the pillow, burying into it as far as he can. Voice muffled, he yells, “Just keep going.”

Taehyung giggles above him, his hands resuming their aimless rubbing of his skin.

“Cute,” he remarks. “The actual anus itself-”

“Stop it!” Jeongguk turns his head so that Taehyung can see his pronounced scowl, hoping he can feel the heat of his glare. “If you keep talking like you're my 9th grade Sex Ed. teacher, I’m going to kick you onto the floor and leave. I'll let you die a painful death.”

“Fine,” Taehyung snaps. “Your asshole. Is that better?”

“I’d rather you just not talk at all, really.”

“Your asshole,” he continues pointedly, “is full of nerve endings. You can use this to give your future partner pleasure in lots of different ways.”

Jeongguk holds his breath when he feels Taehyung pulling his cheeks apart properly. He squeezes his eyes closed and tries not to shake.

“Fuck,” Taehyung is muttering. “You’ve got such a cute hole.”

“Sh-Shut up,” Jeongguk stammers, skin warm against the sheets.

But Taehyung’s voice wavers as he says it, like he’s fighting an internal battle. Jeongguk can feel the pads of his fingers dancing down the cleft of his ass.

“Have you ever touched yourself here?”

“No,” Jeongguk whispers, biting his bottom lip as his finger goes lower and lower and…

“Why not?” Taehyung stops. “Surely you’ve thought about it?”

“Not everyone is sexually perverted,” Jeongguk bites, Taehyung only chuckling in response.

“So innocent,” he remarks, right before he presses the flat of his thumb right up to his pucker, touch feather-light but it still makes Jeongguk jump. He circles his hole slowly, distractingly, as he says, “You won’t be able to resist from now on. Every time you jerk yourself off you’ll want something extra, something you never realised was missing, and…”

And you’ll think of me.  

Jeongguk isn’t sure that that’s what he was going to say, but it’s what his brain fills in for him.

Something falls onto the small of his back in the sudden, weighted silence. Jeongguk starts, hyper-focussed on the feeling of something just barely touching his asshole so he didn’t notice Taehyung bending over to grab something from the floor.

“What-”

“Lubricant,” Taehyung says, picking the bottle up and holding it so that Jeongguk can see. “An asshole’s best friend.”

“Where did you get that?” Jeongguk asks, neck craning to look at the unopened bottle.

“I grabbed it when we were in that sex shop.”

“So you stole it,” Jeongguk deduces.

“Call it what you want,” Taehyung answers, pulling the bottle back toward him. “They’re not going to miss one bottle.”

“They will when they’re taking stock,” he says flatly.

“Do you want me to show you what it’s like without it, then?”

Jeongguk bites his tongue.

“That’s what I thought.” A cap flicks open. Jeongguk tenses while Taehyung keeps rubbing his thumb, back and forth, round and round, light and teasing. He breathes in deeply, wiggling. Taehyung seems to be paying attention to his every move, for he asks, “You like this, baby?”

Jeongguk likes it when Taehyung calls him baby. Of that he is sure.

“Feels weird,” he gives as an answer, shifting in place. He’s long since lost his excitement from earlier, now just plain apprehensive. Who wouldn’t be when an area that was previously regarded as a place that even he himself doesn’t want to touch is now being caressed in such an intimate manner? 

“The best advice I can give to both the person giving and the person receiving is to relax. Let yourself actually feel the sensations that are happening rather than being so afraid of what they could be. The more you tense, the less fun this entire experience is going to be.” He feels Taehyung’s other hand laying on the small of his back. “Just relax, Jeongguk. You’ve tightened up like you think I’m going to shove my whole fist up your ass. I don’t plan on doing it, not unless you want me to.”

Jeongguk laughs despite himself, shaking his head into the pillow.

“I don’t want you to do that,” he affirms.

“Not yet,” Taehyung hums. “We’ll see. For now, let’s just focus on this. Stop worrying and just pay attention to how this feels.” He hasn’t let up the whole time, his thumb circling his hole. Honestly, Jeongguk has gotten used to it now, but he’s certainly not getting any mind-blowing pleasure out of the experience. That being said, it’s not so bad. Not as invasive as he had previously assumed such an action might be.

Then Taehyung pushes forward.

Jeongguk jolts, caught completely off-guard as he feels his thumb pressing into his hole. He yelps, moving forward, but Taehyung steadies him with a hand on his hip.

“Calm down,” he says evenly. “I’m just putting a bit more pressure, is all.”

“Feels weird,” Jeongguk repeats, voice slightly higher in pitch. “I don’t like it.”

“I haven’t even moved one millimetre, princess.” And Jeongguk wants to protest because that’s definitely more than a millimetre but Taehyung is moving again, prodding with his thumb and it’s strange, an insistent pressure that makes him involuntarily clench down and as he realises he’s doing it he blushes hard into the sheets. Taehyung doesn’t comment on the matter though, instead saying, “When you’re doing this to your partner, communication is everything. Whoever it is that you end up with won’t have an intuitive sense for how you’re feeling. Sex isn't always amazing. If you want it to be, you have to work for it. You’re going to have to tell them, or alternatively ask them if you’re the one doing it. Keep talking, even if it’s awkward. You don’t want to hurt someone or get yourself hurt just because you were too shy.”

Jeongguk tries to picture what it might be like to have someone else behind him, leaning on his thighs, prodding at his ass. Would they joke and laugh with him like Taehyung does? Would they be this gentle, this patient? Would they be as understanding when Jeongguk is hit with self-consciousness, be as reassuring when he questions why they’re with him? Is he doomed at this point? Is he going to spend the rest of his life comparing every future partner to Taehyung? Sure, he’s being taught how to be good in bed, but who says that his partner is going to be? Is anyone ever going to be able to measure up to the impression that Taehyung is leaving him with? Is anyone ever going to be able to make him feel the way that Taehyung does?

“You’re quiet,” Taehyung observes as his thumb continues its seemingly random prodding.  “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Jeongguk answers immediately, swallowing. “Keep going.”

Taehyung doesn’t push him.

“If I were going to finger you now, I’d be using lubricant at this point. Remember, there is zero lubricant in your ass. Don’t ever try anything else as a substitute, not spit, not cum. You could really hurt yourself or your partner. Always use lube, you got that?”

“Got it. Nice Ted Talk.”

“What?”

“It’s a meme. I’ll show you later.”

Taehyung huffs a laugh before his finger disappears.

“Is that it?” Jeongguk asks, turning his head in time to see Taehyung crawling back. "You're- you're not going put your dick in me now, right?"

He laughs quietly as he nudges Jeongguk’s legs apart and settles in-between them.

“No, baby. Just showing you another way to get your partner to relax, since you don’t seem to be responding.”

Jeongguk frowns at him, about to argue that he was relaxed, just not into him randomly poking at his asshole. He quickly aborts the sentence in favour of trying to wriggle out of Taehyung’s grip. The demon’s hands are strong where they hold his thighs, like he was anticipating a struggle.

“Don’t Tae,” Jeongguk hisses. “Don’t, please.”

“Why not?” Taehyung demands from where he’s trying to lie down.

“It’s- It’s weird. Just don’t.”

“You’re only saying that because you’ve never experienced it before. Be a little more open-minded.”

“But- But you can’t!” Jeongguk reaches a hand back to cover himself, but Taehyung is already way ahead of him, grabbing him by the wrist.

“Jeongguk, your asshole is just as beautiful as the rest of you is, believe me. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“How can an asshole be beautiful?” He snaps, sure that he’s flushed from head to toe at this point. “It’s an asshole.”

“It’s a gay thing. You’ll understand when you start topping.” With that inadequate answer out of the way, he pushes Jeongguk’s wrist down to the sheets. “Now stay still or I’ll use the forces of hell to bind your hands to the bed.”

Then, before Jeongguk can even open his mouth to protest any further, Taehyung pulls his cheeks apart and dives forward, tongue lapping over his asshole.

“No,” Jeongguk groans, an uncomfortable shudder making his spine tingle. “No, Tae, you can’t.”

Taehyung finishes tracing his tongue up to the cleft of his ass, pulling back an inch to say, “Stop whining and let yourself enjoy this,” before moving back down to his hole. His tongue flickers out in one quick flash, so fast Jeongguk can barely feel it but it still makes him squirm. He’s mostly uncomfortable at the thought above anything else, the thought that Taehyung is licking him in a place that… well, it kind of feels sort of nice actually, when he flickers his tongue like that. Not the instant gratification he gets when Taehyung’s tongue is on his dick, but there’s something sort of wrong about it. Sort of taboo and it does feel sort of warm and wet and Jeongguk isn’t sure if he should be enjoying this, if he should pretend like he’s not. It’s fruitless to even think of because Taehyung notices his sudden silence.

“That’s it, Jeongguk-ah. Just relax.”

And Jeongguk feels like he should lie and say that he’s not enjoying this, that this is wrong, that this is weird, that Taehyung should stop, but he’s circling the pointed tip of his tongue over the very edges of his hole and it’s almost like Jeongguk can feel the sensation from the roots of his hair to the soles of his feet. He tightens up in response, gasping. A part of him is mortified, ashamed of himself, of his reactions. Another part, a part of him that has maybe been lying dormant within him for a long time now, is trying to make him press back into the touch.

Taehyung readjusts his grip on his cheeks, fingers digging into the skin as he pulls them apart, wider. Jeongguk can feel himself stretch, knows that he’s exposed in every sense of the word. He feels his hot breath first, shivering as it spreads over his skin. Then Taehyung presses the flat of his tongue to his hole and it’s warm, intense as he slowly wiggles it from side to side, as his hair brushes up against the flesh of his cheeks.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whispers. He can feel Taehyung smiling into his skin and he knows that there is no use in hiding. He feels the curl of his tongue flick up over the sensitive ridges, tracing in spiralling circles until he’s in the centre. Jeongguk has squeezed his eyes shut so firmly that his head is shaking. As the pointed tip presses to his entrance, pauses and stays there, teasing and tantalising, Jeongguk feels light-headed, dizzy and his chest is aching, and-

“Breathe, baby.”

Taehyung’s deep voice shocks him, makes him open his mouth and gasp, makes him open his eyes and realise that he has been holding his breath the whole time. He hears Taehyung chuckling as he lowers back down, the wetness of his tongue returning to his moistened hole and this is so embarrassing, so humiliating, and it’s really fucking good, feels really fucking good.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, finally giving in and letting his hips shift back. Taehyung holds him tight as he flickers his tongue back and forth, back and forth. “Fuck, Tae, don’t stop.”

The pointed tip appears back at the centre of his entrance, but now Jeongguk stills because he can feel it pushing forward. It’s slow, so slow and he can feel every micro-millimetre of the wet muscle as it slithers into his hole for the first time. It’s strange. Strange because Jeongguk is expecting it to hurt as his rim gives way, is expecting his hole to be tight and unyielding as something enters him for the first time.  But it’s not. Taehyung’s tongue slips in like it was meant to be there and Jeongguk thinks that if this is what anal feels like, he’s been missing out for years. He has to tell everyone about this. He has to let Jimin and Yoongi and Hoseok and everyone know how fucking good it is to have a tongue inside of your asshole.

He’s shaking again, but for a different reason as Taehyung spears his tongue into his hole until he can reach no further. He pulls back, pulls away and Jeongguk whines.

“Please,” he grits out, no shame as he thrusts his hips back, desperate for Taehyung to keep going. Taehyung jumps back as he grinds his ass onto his face, immediately laughing as his hands disappear from his skin.

“You trying to break my nose?” he jokes. “Calm down, bucko.”

But Jeongguk doesn’t even care about his stupid mocking remarks at this point, doesn’t care that he just made a fool of himself for the umpteenth time. His hole feels colder and emptier as each second passes and it’s such an unpleasant sensation that he wants Taehyung back right now, right this second.

He turns his head to the side so that he can look back. He realises with a flash of unwanted clarity that he has lifted his hips, that he’s lying with his ass in the air. He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed, not when Taehyung’s lips are glistening under the light.

“Please,” he whimpers as they make eye contact. “Please keep going.”

Taehyung’s mouth is open like he had some sort of teasing comment to make, or maybe some instructional tip that includes the word “anus” to offer, but it quickly closes when he sees whatever expression Jeongguk must have on his face.

He freezes, gulping as he looks into Jeongguk’s eyes and then he growls. A deep, animalistic rumble in the back of his throat as his eyes darken and he grips Jeongguk’s ass, nails digging into the supple skin.

“Fucking hell, Guk,” he says, voice thick and wavering, “you’re driving me fucking insane.”

Jeongguk doesn’t care what any of it means. In that moment, Taehyung has his tongue back in his ass and it’s all he wants. It’s hot and he moans as he feels him sliding into him, as he feels him eating him out with a furious passion. He licks against his walls, moaning into him as he stretches him open. Jeongguk pushes back against him as he lets his heavy head drop back to the pillow, as Taehyung hoists his ass further up in the air and holds him still. His cock is hard and dangling in the air, leaking from the tip, dripping pre-come onto the sheets.

“Taehyung,” he moans into the bed, “please.”

There’s some rustling and then something firm pressing up alongside his tongue, something that shocks Jeongguk awake somewhat as he realises that it’s a finger. Taehyung pulls back a few inches to speak.

“You look so fucking hot right now, you realise?” He circles Jeongguk’s rim with the digit. It feels different to before, different now that he has relaxed his muscles, now that the skin is wet. “Like such a needy baby begging to have his ass filled.”

Jeongguk takes shallow, gasping breaths as his words fall over him like waves, crashing against him and rocking him to his core.

“How am I supposed to teach you anything when you’re like this, huh?” He feels a finger trailing along his cock, too light to do anything but make him arch his back and hiss. “Your whole mind shut off the moment I put my tongue inside of you, didn’t it? You can’t even think straight.”

“Tae, please.”

“What are you begging for?” he asks, voice rough and low and like music to Jeongguk’s ears.

Jeongguk doesn’t even know the answer to that question. What is he asking for, exactly? Does he want Tae’s tongue back? Absolutely. Does he want him to actually do something with the finger he’s currently teasing around his fluttering rim? Definitely. Does he want Taehyung to fuck him?

Yes.

Yes, he does.

“Look at you,” Taehyung says as he pulls away. Jeongguk wiggles on the bed as he listens to the sound of a bottle squeezing. “You’ve got your ass in the air, your pretty hole on display. You look wrecked with your cute cock hard and just hanging there. You used to be so shy,” he muses as he drags one hand up over his quivering thigh, “and so scared for me to see you. Look at you now."

"Tae," he whimpers quietly.

“But, I need you to listen now,” Taehyung says and his voice is just that touch colder, making Jeongguk tense. “This is important for you to know for when you're with your future partner.”

Jeongguk swallows, clenching onto the sheets and trying to ignore how fiery he feels inside. Taehyung is talking. Have to listen, have to listen…

“There’s no such thing as too much lube when you do anal.” He brings the tip of one of his fingers down onto his hole and it’s wet, wetter than before. It’s slippery as Taehyung rubs it in circles over his loosened entrance. “You’re going to do this with someone one day and you’re going to squeeze some lube into your hand and go, ‘Is this enough?’ I’m telling you right now, take whatever amount you’ve used and triple it. You can never have too much.”

Jeongguk is so far gone that he opens his mouth to protest, to tell Tae that there’s no one else, no one else.

He presses his finger forward and Jeongguk's brain aborts all mental processes. 

“Relax,” he murmurs, a hand on his hip squeezing gently. “Stop clenching. Just breathe, Jeongguk.”

He tries to do what he’s saying. Breathe, breathe, breathe. His finger slides further and there’s definitely a twinge there that he didn’t feel with his tongue as it slid inside of him.

“So fucking tight,” he can hear Taehyung mutter. “I almost don’t want to fuck you and ruin this perfect ass of yours.” Jeongguk clenches down at the thought, making him laugh. “Don’t worry, precious. I’m fucking you today. I’m not wasting this rare moment of you being the needy little baby we both know you are.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk manages to hiss, but it just doesn’t hit as hard when Taehyung’s got his finger in his ass and especially not when his only response is that deep chuckle that’s just so fucking hot, how is that fair?

“Take your time when you’re fingering your partner. Pay attention and make sure they’re loose enough before you go shoving anything else in there. Not sure? Ask them. Do something and they tell you it hurts? Stop, use more lube, do more stretching. Simple. If you do this, you’re guaranteed to make whoever it is that you’re with feel good.”

Taehyung pulls his finger just as Jeongguk was getting sort of used to it and he gasps, shivers and clenching.

“Relax,” Taehyung admonishes, slapping his hip lightly, pushing his finger back in, then dragging it back. “Keep breathing and focus on relaxing.”

“Tae,” Jeongguk gasps out, “feels weird, I-”

“I know. It’s strange at first. You get used to it.” He moves and suddenly Jeongguk can feel his shirt hanging against his back, can feel his lips moving against his ear as he says, “Doesn’t it feel good to be full, though? It feels nice to have something there, feels better when you’re not empty, doesn’t it?”

“T-Tae…”

“You’re doing so well,” he hums, nipping at his earlobe and making him throw his head back as he keeps pumping his finger. “Doing so well, taking my finger so well, pretty. You look so pretty like this, all whiny and needy for me, hm?”

Jeongguk is long past trying to quell his moans at this point. There’s way too much going on right now, way too much happening. Taehyung is licking the outer edge of his ear, whispering into it, telling him how beautiful he thinks he is and there’s a fucking finger up his ass right now so it’s kind of hard for him to remember how much he hates his voice and he moans openly into the pillow.

“That’s it, pretty. You sound so beautiful and you’re opening up so nicely for me.”

“M-more,” he finds himself whispering. He doesn't even really know what he means. He doesn't necessarily want more movement or more fingers. All he wants is more of this sensation, the weird completeness that he suddenly feels. How has he gone all of his life without realising how empty he was? Without experiencing this amazing fullness? “More, Tae, want more, please.”

Taehyung interprets his request as permission to add another finger, sliding it up to toy at his rim. Jeongguk can feel it rubbing up against his hole, can feel it slipping as it’s covered in lube. Taehyung pushes forward slowly, Jeongguk’s hole struggling to give way and then-

His breath hitches, eyes clenched closed as his entire body stiffens.

“I know, baby.”

“Fuck, Tae,” he pushes through clenched teeth. “Get it out.”

“It’s better that I don’t,” Taehyung replies as he pulls back to kneel behind him again, thankfully keeping his fingers still. “Trust me.”

“It hurts,” Jeongguk tries to snap, but his voice cracks and gives way half way through. He’s a solid as a statue, fearful that any movement will send that burning heat ripping through him again. This has suddenly gone from pleasurable to horrendous and Jeongguk has experienced all kinds of pain before in his twenty-two years. He’s had burns and cuts and his fair share of kicks to the testicles, but he has still never felt a pain like this before. It feels like he’s tearing open, like his skin is dry and ripping even though he knows that Taehyung poured fucking buckets of lube all over him.

“Shit,” he chokes out, “just- It hurts, Tae, please stop.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Taehyung points out, fingers still, poised right at his entrance.

“Can’t you do something magic and make it not hurt? Please?”

“I can," Taehyung answers, voice calm and steady. "I shall not though.” 

“Why not?” Jeongguk whines, shifting only to hiss as pain tears through him again.

“If I did that you wouldn’t learn your lesson, would you?” Taehyung dons that educational tone again, making Jeongguk glare at the wall as he says, “Now you know how much it can hurt, even when your partner does go slowly and use lube. Now you know how badly you might hurt someone if you don't take the time to do that when you top. Whoever you end up with will thank me for this, trust me.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Jeongguk winces, sweaty forehead pressed into the fabric of the bed. “It fucking hurts, I get it. Can we- can we stop? Please?”

“Stop?” Taehyung repeats with mock incredulity. “But you were doing so well, baby. You want to stop just because it hurts a little?”

“It hurts a lot. Way too much. How am I supposed to take your fucking demon dick when I can’t even take two fingers?”

Taehyung bursts into loud laughter. Jeongguk watches his shadow on the wall leaning back and shaking, managing a small smile of his own at the sight.

“You’ll be fine, Jeongguk. Your ass can take more than you think it can. You just need to be patient and relax.”

“You keep saying that,” he mutters.

“Yeah, because you keep refusing to listen to me. You’re clenching down so hard on my fingers that I’m pretty sure they’re about to fall off.” Jeongguk scrunches his face up as he realises that Taehyung is right, pouting to himself at another lost argument. “What have I told you to do? Two things, Guk, to help you open up?”

“Breathe and relax,” he chimes, wanting to roll his eyes.

“Perfect,” Taehyung shouts and Jeongguk is sure he’d be clapping if his hands weren’t otherwise occupied. “So do it. Just take some breaths for me and stop focussing on the pain.”

Jeongguk follows his advice, breathing in slowly and deeply and feeling like an idiot as he does so. He feels something cold dripping on the top of his ass, making him jump before he realises that it’s more lube slithering down to Taehyung’s poised fingers. He drops the bottle and then brings his spare hand down to his hip again, rubbing soft circles into his skin.

“There you go,” he coos, and Jeongguk realises that as he had stopped focussing on the feeling of Taehyung’s fingers at his rim, his muscles had stopped automatically clenching down around them. Taehyung slowly, slowly, slowly works the two digits around. Jeongguk is ready for the pain this time, managing a small wince as the jagged burn makes him want to curl into a ball.

Taehyung takes on a snail's pace as he moves his fingers forward. Jeongguk is grateful for this as he feels his rim stretching to give way to the width of his two fingers. It's the oddest sensation, this part of his body slowly giving way, giving in to Taehyung's fingers as he pushes them further and further.

“Wow,” Taehyung remarks, “look at that. They’re all the way into the hilt.”

"Don’t patronise me,” Jeongguk grumbles.

“Where’s my whiny boy gone, huh?” Taehyung gradually drags his fingers back, twisting them and nudging Jeongguk’s hole open, making him whimper and clench for a moment. He forces himself to relax, to stop focusing on the uncomfortable stretch of his rim. “You were all desperate and needy not that long ago.”

“Was that before or after you ruined my asshole?”

“Oh sweetheart,” Taehyung chuckles out, tone condescending, “that’s so cute. Trust me, you’ll know when I’ve ruined your hole.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk says, an automatic utterance at this point.  

Taehyung laughs again as he works his fingers in and out and Jeongguk will admit that the burn has faded. It’s not gone, just in the background. Like white noise that is slowly lowering in volume, overpowered by something louder, something different that has him biting down on his tongue. He’s not going to let Taehyung see him vulnerable again. Earlier was a slip-up, but who could blame him? He had a tongue up his ass for the first time in his life. Anyone would be overwhelmed.

“Feeling better?” Taehyung observes, pausing as he pumps his fingers.

“It’s okay,” Jeongguk offers, “Doesn’t hurt as much, I guess.”

“You guess?” Taehyung hums and then spreads his fingers in a tentative V. It makes Jeongguk’s eyes widen, an alien sensation to have something inside of him spreading him like that. There’s that twinge again, but thankfully the fullness is enough to distract him from that. “That’s good. It means we can move on to my favourite part.” Jeongguk must tense again because Taehyung chuckles. “I’m not fucking you just yet. Calm down, sweetheart. You remember when I blew you in the shower?” Jeongguk does remember because how could he possibly forget a life event such as that one? That orgasm is going to be what he tells his grandkids about one day. “Remember how I mentioned your prostate?”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose immediately.

“You’re supposed to be a master of sexual seduction. Why do you keep using such ugly, turn-off words?”

“Unfortunately, there’s not really an alternative for this one, so you’re going to have to put up with it.” While he speaks, he continues to move his fingers against Jeongguk’s walls, gentle movements that aren’t exactly mind-blowing, but aren’t bad either. It’s just nice, Jeongguk thinks. A strangely nice pressure that he’s never experienced before. Sort of like a massage for his ass. A Massage. “Tell me what you know about the prostate, Guk.”

“It’s an organ,” he says, trying to sound confident. “Right? And you can get cancer in it, or something? It’s one of the most common places that men develop cancer from, right?”

Taehyung makes that funny squeaking sound that Jeongguk loves whenever he’s laughing really hard. He turns his head a little further so that he can watch him, hand clasped over his mouth, eyes all crinkled and creased closed, cheeks flushing with red.

“That’s- that’s the most unsexy thing you could’ve said,” he manages to get out around his laughter.

“You didn’t tell me I needed to be sexy.” Jeongguk pouts.

“It’s a gland, not an organ,” Taehyung corrects, wiping at his eyes with his free arm. “And yes, you can develop cancer there, but you can discuss that with your doctor. I’m here to talk about the fun part about prostates.” He clears his throat and Jeongguk can sense that he’s about to launch into another educational rambling. He’s fine with this to some degree. He loves to learn and would like to think that he’s going to be a sex god by the time Taehyung is done with him. It’s just hard to take him seriously – or concentrate on what he’s saying in general – when he’s got two fingers in his ass steadily pumping back and forth in a manner that is somewhat distracting.

“It’s not actually able to be directly touched, seeing as it’s inside of your body, but you can stimulate it indirectly either by massaging your partner’s perineum,” he gently rests a finger on the skin just behind his balls, “like I did in the shower. Or, it can be reached from inside of your ass. It’s about two inches up and towards the front of your walls, just about… here.”

He stops pumping his fingers and instead, pushes the two forward towards Jeongguk’s belly. Jeongguk sits there on his stomach, waiting for something to happen and ending up disappointed.

“Cool story, bro,” he says after a few seconds of nothing.

There’s a sharp pain on his right ass cheek and a muttered, “Pay attention.” Jeongguk seizes and bites his tongue to stop himself from emitting any more embarrassing sounds.

“It’s not a magic button that’s going to give you a hot orgasm in a few seconds like some people think it is. You need to work at it to stimulate it. It’s much better if you can get your partner aroused first before you attempt to give them pleasure this way. It enlarges when you’re aroused, making it easier to stimulate.” Jeongguk shifts on the sheets as he feels Taehyung’s fingers start pressing on that spot, a firm back and forth that makes him sort of nervous.

It’s small and insignificant to begin with. Jeongguk isn’t sure how to describe the sensation as it builds inside of him. It’s like a ball of pressure in his groin, a weird heaviness where Taehyung’s fingers won’t let up, a strange tightness that makes him want to clench down. He almost wants to ask him to stop, to push him away. It feels sort of wrong, intimate in an odd way, like he's being touched from the inside.

“It’s- it feels… it’s not…”

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

It does feel good. Not good like a mouth around his dick does. Not good like Taehyung’s tongue did not all that long ago. A different kind of good. A building, hot sort of good that makes it hard to stay still, makes Jeongguk realise with a jolt that he has started thrusting back against Taehyung’s fingers.

“I- Taehyung-”

“Yes, Guk-ah?”

“M-more. Please, more.”

Those two fingers don’t hesitate in their slow dragging against his inner walls, not even as a third presses against his now loosened hole. The burn is much the same and yet Jeongguk finds himself not even noticing it. He can only focus on the tightness, the build-up to something. What, he doesn’t know yet, but it’s something big and it’s almost overwhelming as he gets closer and closer. He almost wants to ask Taehyung to stop, sort of wants to beg him to keep going, keep going, please.

“Some people can experience an orgasm through this alone,” Taehyung is saying, though Jeongguk really isn’t listening as he reminds himself to breathe in and out, to relax as Taehyung’s third finger joins the others and starts drumming against that spot. “That’s very rare for the average male though. Even if they can, it’s not like a regular orgasm most of the time.”

Jeongguk has to fight to keep his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as he struggles to lift his heavy head from the pillow so he can breathe properly, so he can gasp out, “Tae- Taehyung, please.”

“Some people that you get with won’t be into this. That’s okay. Everyone is different. Just remember to communicate and always ask consent before you do anything that you’re not sure of.”

Jeongguk fists the pillow, jerking back when something inside of him teeters, threatening to break.

“Please, hyung-ah, pl- please.”

“What do you want, baby?”

Jeongguk chokes on his next breath as Taehyung starts pumping his fingers forward, grazing against his prostate on the way out, pushing forward against it on the way in.

“Want- want- Please.”

“Look at me, pretty.” Jeongguk turns his head again, not having realised that he had given in to the heaviness and buried it in the mattress. He’s certain that he looks like a total and complete mess right now, eyes brimming with tears and he’s not sure why. Taehyung hisses, says, “Look at that. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Jeongguk comes then. Or at least, it feels like he does as his eyes clench closed, as the tidal wave of pleasure that was growing inside of him reaches its peak and crashes over him. He’s surely making some ugly sounds right now, loud groans and strained moans that he’s not in a state of mind to hold back, and he vaguely registers that he’s shaking, that Taehyung’s arm is wrapped around his hips and holding him up as he thrashes against his grip.

“I- hyung. Oh my god, hyung. Fuck,” he cries out while his thighs tremble.

“That’s it, pretty boy. You look so good like this, fuck.”

The tension breaks and Jeongguk is left twitching, cock still hard and dripping where it hangs between his legs.

“What…” he trails off as he gasps, spluttering. “What just happened?”

“You had an anal orgasm, also known as a prostate orgasm,” Taehyung answers, voice calm and even. “That’s what I was explaining just a moment ago.”

“O-okay,” Jeongguk stammers. “I got it. You can never say that again now, please.”

Taehyung laughs. His fingers are still moving, still pressing, and Jeongguk is just about to ask him to stop – but he means it this time – when the demon’s voice lowers an octave for him to ask, “Hey, do you want to see a magic trick?”

Jeongguk doesn’t, not really. Not right now, anyway, but Taehyung continues, “Remember when I jerked you off in front of the mirror and I used that spell to cover your mouth?”

Jeongguk also remembers that day vividly. He’ll probably tell his grandkids about that too. Maybe he’ll save it for one of their weddings and tell the whole reception when he's giving the toast.

Taehyung pulls his three fingers out of his ass. It takes a good few moments for Jeongguk to realise that the pressure hasn’t stopped.

“No,” he gasps out, hips juddering as he tries to fight against the sensation, to make it stop somehow. “No, Tae, oh my god, you can’t.”

“Hm? You don’t like it?” Taehyung moves back from him completely, fully clothed as he looks down at him. Jeongguk himself is stuck there, ass in the air as invisible fingers wreak havoc on his insides, playing him like he’s an instrument. “But doesn’t it feel so nice, Guk?”

It does, it feels so nice but it’s too much. Far too much pressure because if the first time was a tidal wave, this time it's a tsunami, and an earthquake, and a hurricane all in one.  

“Can’t- No, can’t take any more, hyung.”

Jeongguk watches through heavy-lidded eyes as Taehyung starts undressing. His thighs start to quiver with the effort of holding himself up, but he can't seem to move, can't do anything but thrust back against nothing. 

“No more? Don’t you want me to fuck you?”

“I-”

But Jeongguk can’t hold on any longer, the pressure against his insides relentless, uncaring for his struggle and he turns his head back to the sheets and practically screams into them as he orgasms again, stronger, harder. His back bows, his legs shaking. His cock leaks onto the sheets, cum dribbling from him with each thrust against his prostate. He can feel tears leaking from his eyes properly now, his mouth slack as he pushes back helplessly, as the fingers seem to push him further, coaxing more cum to leak from his slit. Each moment that he think it's over, another wave hits him and he struggles to breathe, gasping in-between cries.

He feels Taehyung’s fingers – his real ones – enter him again and the touch suddenly stops. Jeongguk would’ve collapsed into a melted heap of human goo if not for his large hands grasping at his hips and keeping him upright as he feels the head of Taehyung's cock pressing against his entrance.

“Hyung," he barely manages to articulate, "no.”

“You don’t want my cock, Gukkie?”

“I want- But not now.”

Taehyung hums. “But you were doing so well. You haven’t even come properly yet. Don’t you want to come, pretty boy?”

Jeongguk wants to come. Jeongguk wants Taehyung to make him feel good, wants to make Taehyung feel good. He trusts Taehyung, he knows Taehyung, he knows Taehyung would never do this if he thought it would hurt him.

So, he drops his head to the bed and says, “Please, hyungie.”

Taehyung doesn’t waste time, taking the permission and immediately pushing forwards, though he moves slow. Jeongguk’s eyes widen of their own accord as he feels himself stretching in a way that he has never felt before. He’s no longer a virgin, he realises as Taehyung’s cock pushes into his hole. He’s officially lost his virginity and it’s fucking painful.

Taehyung pauses right before Jeongguk is on the verge of tapping out, a few inches in when he leans down and says, “You okay, Guk?”

“Hurts. Fuck, hyung.”

“I know, baby.” He feels a touch on his outer thigh, a soft rubbing against his skin. “Just breathe and relax for hyung.”

Jeongguk does that. Breathes, relaxes.

“Remember, more lube. It’s the golden rule.” Jeongguk listens to him as he fiddles with the lube bottle, squirting some out and then lathering it onto his cock. “Ready for some more?”

“Slow,” Jeongguk permits. Taehyung manages a couple more inches before Jeongguk has to reach back for his hand, grasping onto it to wordlessly stop him again.

“Stop clenching down,” Taehyung orders, tapping his hip a few times. “You’re making it worse for yourself.”

“But- But it feels so weird, hyung. I feel like-”

“Like you need to go to the toilet, right?”

Jeongguk gasps, spluttering even while Taehyung laughs behind him.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the demon reassures. “This is all new for you so you’re not used to the sensations. But it’s just in your head, Jeongguk. You need to relax. Nothing is going to go wrong, you’re not going to fuck up. Just let me do the work. Relax those muscles and let me move without feeling like you’re trying to chop my dick off with your ass.”

“I hate you,” Jeongguk mutters, but he does as he’s told. He breathes as Taehyung has now taught him to do and slowly, slowly lets his muscles release, lets them slacken. Taehyung moves forward another inch and he instantly clenches, but Taehyung strokes his hands over his ass until Jeongguk has relaxed again.

It goes like that for a while in an awfully slow process. Taehyung is inching forward sluggishly and Jeongguk wonders if he is bored. Maybe it’s Jeongguk's fault. He’s probably too tight or too stressed and is making this take longer than it should be. Taehyung would probably be fucking anyone else by now if he were with them, feeling good as they take him perfectly, as they look perfect underneath him.

“Get out of that head, Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s deep voice breaks him out of his internal proceedings. “Stop thinking about whatever you’re thinking about.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk starts, knowing he should stop, but it's far too late. The though entered his mind and now it's all he can think about, so he continues, “why don’t you want to look at me?”

He can practically hear Taehyung blinking as he processes the question, then, “Huh?”

Jeongguk feels like an idiot in that moment. Naked on his bed, a dick rammed up his ass, tears welling in his eyes as he thinks about how good all of Taehyung’s future partners will look underneath him. How can he not think about it when Taehyung keeps bringing up the fact that they’ll be sleeping with other people in the future? All he can think about is Taehyung fucking someone else, being pleasured by someone else and he hates it. He can't even make Taehyung feel good like those people probably can, can't even give anything back to him. 

“I- Why don’t you want to see my face? I thought- I thought…”

He shivers as Taehyung leans forward, his cock shifting inside of him and making him tense as Taehyung reaches out and taps at his chin, making him strain his neck to make eye contact with him. He doesn’t look irritated like Jeongguk was anticipating. He looks happy. Endeared… and something else.

Something else that terrifies Jeongguk.

“Jeongguk-ah, I want nothing more than to watch your beautiful face as I fuck you for the first time, but it would be selfish of me to do that. I chose this position because it’s easier for you. It’s a more comfortable position and makes it easier for you to adjust.”

"But... isn't it..." He scoffs into the pillow, angry at himself. Why is he doing this? What is it about having a cock in his ass that has made him so vulnerable all of a sudden? "Shouldn't you make it good for you too?"

"What are you talking about? It's already good."

"No, but, like- I don't know how to make you feel good." He squeezes his eyes shut, tears slipping out of the corners that he quickly swipes away. "You're doing all of this for me. How can I make it good for you?"

There's silence again and then Taehyung tuts.

"Gukkie, you cutie, you don't realise how much I'm holding myself back right now." He peeks at Taehyung right as he flashes him a tight smile. He smooths the palm of his hand over his ass, caressing the skin. "Your ass is so lovely and tight. Can't you imagine how that must feel for me? I'm in heaven right now. Pun intended."

Jeongguk chuckles, closing his eyes softly. His smile fades away as he thinks, as he darts his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Do you really think my face is beautiful?”

It’s a stupid question, but Jeongguk is feeling stupid right now and he needs to hear it. He needs to hear it when Taehyung laughs softly, when he reaches a hand out and brushes it over his forehead, when his dark eyes shine as he says, “I think you’re the most beautiful human I’ve ever met in my life.”

"Tae.” Jeongguk turns his head away again, says into the pillow, “Move please.”

He does as requested, gradually pulling his hips back until he’s all the way out to the very tip. Then he pushes back in and Jeongguk sees stars. Literal, shining stars, balls of fire flashing before his eyes and he moans deep in his throat, gasping when Taehyung does it again, slowly pulling back and slowly pushing in. The stretch- The fullness- it's overwhelming.

“Now you understand why it’s very important to spend time stretching out your partner and getting them prepared,” Taehyung says, but his voice is strained as he slowly fucks his cock into Jeongguk, grip on his hips tight and tightening. “When you first do this with someone else, make sure they’re completely relaxed before you-”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk snaps, breath hitching as his cock spears into him again. “If you don’t shut- shut the fuck up about my future partners I’m- I’ll leave negative feedback when you go back to hell.”

Taehyung pauses, laughing airily.

“I don’t think they typically ask for feedback, Jeongguk. This isn’t eBay.”

“Taehyung.” Jeongguk must sound angrier than he is because Taehyung stills and he feels it all the way to his core. He takes a deep breath before he meets Taehyung's eyes once again, watching them grow wide as he says, “I get it, okay? I get it. I pissed you off, I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, I swear. You already know that I like you, Tae. I do." Jeongguk can’t believe that he’s addressing this now, now when there is a dick inside of his ass practically tearing him in two. But it has to be said. “Your idea would be lovely. It’d be lovely if you could sell your eternity and come to earth and we would live happily ever after. It’d be amazing. But be realistic, Taehyung. You’re wagering your whole existence on something that might not work out in the end.” He pauses to lick his dry lips, trying to keep still, to not let the aching fullness distract him. “I can’t have you doing that. I just can’t.”

“You don’t know that it wouldn’t work out,” Taehyung says lowly. All things considered, he sounds pretty calm.

“You don’t know that it would,” Jeongguk says, watching his morose eyes as they flicker and flash, several emotions broadcast through them. “Are you really going to risk it all? Are you really going to risk having the devil torment you? What if he hurt you? Or me, or-”

“I understand,” Taehyung says over the top of him, voice tight. Then he sighs, fingers tracing the skin of Jeongguk’s hips. “I understand, Jeongguk. It’s true, you did hurt me, but not because I didn’t see what you were saying. I agree with you. It’s a huge risk to take. But I’d like to think you want me to take that risk. Don’t you want to see me again? Don’t you want me to be a part of your life?”

“Of course I do. I want it more than anything,” he says seriously. “But I want to know that you’re safe. Safe and happy.”

Taehyung twists his lips, apprehension clear as day on his face, but he sighs.

“I understand. I’m sorry. I was acting like a bitch.”

 “It’s okay, hyung. I’m sorry that I hurt you.” 

“This was really sweet,” Taehyung says and his tone is already teasing, already mocking and Jeongguk rolls his eyes in advance despite how heavy his heart still feels. “Now I know that if I want you to be sincere I just need to shove my dick up your ass.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk hisses, squirming. “Can you move now? I’m ready. I’m relaxed. It’s fine now."

“But I think I like this,” Taehyung says, leaning back. Jeongguk feels one of his fingers tracing the rim of his hole where it’s stretched around his thick cock. “The view from back here is so nice.”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk growls. “Fucking fuck me already, you fucking fuck.” He pushes his hips back. “Fuck.”

Taehyung abruptly reaches down and wraps an arm around his upper chest and suddenly the bed has disappeared from underneath him and Jeongguk is being pulled up into the air. He scrambles for a moment until he’s on his knees comfortably. Taehyung shifts closer, holding him up and against his chest, kneeling behind him and keeping him close.

“Come here,” he murmurs, fingers dancing under his chin and making him turn his head to meet Taehyung’s full lips as they lower to press against his own. They kiss and at first it is just a kiss, just lips meeting lips. Then Jeongguk turns his head further, reaches a hand up to clutch at the wrist of the one Taehyung is using to caress his face. Then, it's no longer just a kiss, but a moment. A moment where they understand each other. Jeongguk understands. Taehyung is afraid, afraid of leaving and never seeing Jeongguk again, afraid of leaving and never feeling alive again. Jeongguk kisses him back, tongue playing against Taehyung's, trying to tell him that he's just as scared, that he never wants this to end, that he doesn't know what he's going to do when it comes time for Taehyung to leave. 

They separate, just a little, eyes opening and for one split-second they're looking into each other's souls and Jeongguk knows that they both understand now. 

Then Taehyung starts thrusting, this time in earnest and with zero educational remarks in-between. He’s too busy leaning back in, connecting their lips again. Too busy sucking on Jeongguk’s tongue, nipping at his lower lip and swallowing his cries as his cock presses up against something delicious inside of him.

Jeongguk feels so vulnerable in that moment. His ass is stretched around something, something that he has no control over. When Taehyung presses forward, Jeongguk swears he can feel it so deeply it’s like his entire mind is being affected. Taehyung is changing something inside of him. Something that he can’t come back from. Jeongguk can’t go his life without experiencing this sensation again. He’s ruined.

“Oh, Tae,” Jeongguk pants into his mouth, eyes closed. “Feels- feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung snaps his hips up hard, all prior delicacy long gone. “Yeah? Feels good, Gukkie? Am I making you feel good?”

“Yes-s-s,” he hisses out, voice catching as the thrusts pick up.

“You’re so perfect,” Taehyung murmurs into his neck as he dips down. “So pretty.”

Jeongguk reaches back, needing desperately to grasp onto something. He settles on Taehyung’s hair, which the other doesn’t seem to be complaining about, growling as his fingers pull at the silver strands.

Jeongguk gets it. He totally and completely understands what Jimin was talking about when he said that he would be a changed man once he’d lost his virginity. He gets it. This is life-changing. There is no going back from this moment and perhaps this isn’t exactly what Jimin had in mind, him being fucked by some dude, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Taehyung is fucking him so well, making him feel good in a way that he has never felt before. Full, full of Taehyung and he never wants it to stop. Never wants this to stop. Never wants Taehyung to leave.

All good things must come to an end though.

“Tae,” he groans and the other knows instantly what he's trying to say.

“Want to come, pretty?”

Jeongguk nods, head heavy as he gasps. He’s not even coherent enough to be embarrassed about how close he is after only a few short moments. Taehyung has worked him up, strung him out, left him tense and twitchy and he’s only got a virgin’s stamina, okay? This, this is all too much for one day and yeah, he wants to come. He needs to come, properly. He needs it so badly.

One of Taehyung’s hands snakes around, two fingers sliding into his open mouth and onto his tongue. Jeongguk moans around them, closing his mouth and sucking on them out of some sort of gay instinct and, really, how did he ever think he was straight? He loves dick. Dick is so nice, especially when it’s inside of him, especially when it’s attached to a guy like this.

Taehyung takes the now moist fingers and trails them down, tracing his skin over his ribs until he's at his hard cock, red and leaking, heavy against his thigh.

“You look so fucking pretty like this,” he growls against his ear, thrusting up into his heat. “You’re so fucking hot and tight. Feel so good, Gukkie.”

And, fuck, listening to the way Taehyung moans after his sentence, he realises that he really is making Taehyung feel good. Without even trying. He should’ve done this years ago. Anal is the answer to all of his problems.

“Tae.” He gasps as Taehyung mouths at his neck, as his fingers trace his cock. “Tae, please.”

“Come for me, pretty boy.”

So then, with Taehyung’s cock stretching him open, carving a place inside of him, as the demon wraps a large hand around Jeongguk’s length and tugs it once, twice, Jeongguk breaks.

He tosses his head back with a faltering cry. He knocks right into Taehyung’s forehead as he does, a dull pain in the back of his head and a yelp sounding out behind him, but it doesn’t matter. Jeongguk clenches down onto Taehyung’s thick girth and yells as his orgasm is torn from him brutally. Taehyung doesn’t stop moving, fucking him through it with little mercy, growling in his ear and saying something about how good he is as he paints his hand with his cum.

He takes it back. He takes back what he thought in the shower. This is the best orgasm he’s ever had. He’s never felt this before, this strange fullness. Almost a helplessness as he comes on Taehyung’s cock, as his ass clenches down rhythmically around him, pulsing on his thick girth. He's unable to do anything as he cries, and jerks, and shudders, and Taehyung doesn’t stop moving, doesn’t stop fucking into him and it’s way too much. Way too much. He’s not telling his grandkids about this. They don’t deserve to know about this, no one does. This is his little secret: how good Taehyung made him feel.

“Shit, Guk. That’s the second time you’ve almost broken my nose.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk moans, still twitching and spasming around his cock.

“Where do you want me to come?” he asks as he nips at his ear. Jeongguk is gasping for breath as he comes down from what is technically his third orgasm. He feels weak and tired and wrecked and Taehyung is trying to make him make a decision? Cruel. “Inside your pretty ass? Or do you want me to pull out and come all over your face?”

Jeongguk moans and whispers a broken, “Inside.”

He can feel Taehyung shuddering against his back before his thrusts suddenly pick up into something brutal, something a lot faster and harder and Jeongguk realises that he might’ve been going easy on him without him even knowing. He fucks into him a few more times and then groans his name into his ear as he pauses, undoubtedly filling Jeongguk with his come.

They collapse onto the bed.

Or, correction, Jeongguk collapses onto the bed. Taehyung more just follows him down, lying beside him and chuckling as he practically liquifies.

“Good, Guk?”

Jeongguk miraculously finds the tiniest spark of energy, enough to lift his hand and give a shaky thumbs up.

“Fuck,” he says eloquently. Taehyung laughs, leaning up so that he can look over him.

“How do you feel, baby?”

“Awful,” Jeongguk groans. Because he does. Now that his ass is cock-free, it feels weird. Empty and it’s wrong. Unpleasant and cold as lube and maybe something else drips from his hole.

“You get used to that,” Taehyung affirms, one hand pressed to Jeongguk's chest, right over his still-racing heart. “Baths are great for aftercare. If not, a warm, wet rag. Be gentle when you-”

“Taehyung.”

“Right,” he tips his head back and laughs, beautiful like a rennaisance artwork. “No tips. This is supposed to be a lesson, you know.”

Jeongguk doesn’t want it to be a lesson. Jeongguk doesn’t want any more lessons ever again. He just lost his virginity. He’d like to think Taehyung took it because he wanted it, not because he wanted to teach him something.

As though reading his mind, Taehyung stares at him, smile fading as he says, “You don’t mind, right?”

“Huh?” Jeongguk asks, letting his eyes close. Exhaustion is starting to hit him like some sort of come-down from a drug. He aches everywhere, pain all over his body.

“That I took your virginity.” He opens one eye with great effort to see Taehyung’s apprehensive expression. “I know you wanted it to be special, with someone special. I’ve had so much sex that I forgot how important your first time is to you humans. I just don’t want you to resent me later on when you think back to this.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk rasps, mouth suddenly dry as a bone. Water. Water would be lovely right now. “You’re being dumb.”

Taehyung runs his tongue over his teeth and hums. “What if you meet someone special and you wish they had have been the one to do it?”

“Taehyung.” Jeongguk opens the other eye now, turning his head to the side and staring into his eyes. “You are someone special.”

Taehyung closes his mouth, staring at him. He winces and Jeongguk sighs.

“Can I please have-”

“I’ll go get you one right now.” Taehyung is already hopping up, two steps ahead of him.

“Don’t let the hyungs see you,” Jeongguk warns. He can’t imagine Yoongi or Jimin would react well to a glass of water floating through the dorm.

“Right.” Taehyung’s face flashes with something sour before he walks out of the door.

Jeongguk sighs in the momentary silence, tries not to think about the future.

Once he has gulped down the water he feels slightly better and he turn to Taehyung who is now sitting on the edge of the bed beside him, still naked.

“Thank you,” he says, handing the glass to him. Taehyung puts it on the nightstand.

“No problem, Gukkie.”  

“No, I mean,” he reaches out and grabs his arm, holding him still. “Thank you.”

Taehyung laughs, shaking his head.

“You always say that,” he responds as he reaches up to brush Jeongguk’s damp hair off of his sweaty forehead. “It’s just an orgasm.”

“It’s not just that,” Jeongguk murmurs. He blushes in advance because he’s about to say something sentimental, but he’s already started so he barrels onwards with, “You’ve made me feel better about myself. I don’t think I’m ready to run outside and tell the world that I think I’m beautiful, but… I don’t know. I used to look in the mirror and think that no one would ever want me. But you want me, or at least you say you do, and you have had and will continue to have hundreds and hundreds of partners who look so much better than me.”

Taehyung presses his lips into a thin line for a moment before he sighs.

“No one will ever compare to you, Jeongguk.” Jeongguk huffs a laugh and shakes his head, but Taehyung has a serious look on his face, hesitation making him bite at his lip before he looks into Jeongguk's eyes and says, "Jeongguk. I need to say this. I think I-"

Jeongguk covers his mouth with his hand.

"Don't, hyung." He watches Taehyung stare back at him, watches him wince. His heart throbs in his chest as he whispers, "Please. Please, don't."

Taehyung nods. He pulls his hand back and watches him frowning, before he sighs and says, “Come on. We need to get you cleaned up.”

Eager to move on from a difficult and awkward conversation, Jeongguk groans exaggeratedly and says, “Can’t it wait? I’m sore, I don’t want to move.”

Taehyung manages a smirk. “Oh sweet former-virgin Gukkie. You’ve never woken up with dried cum in your ass before. Let me tell you as your teacher that you don’t want to.”

“Hyung, can’t you magic it away? Please?” When Taehyung starts rolling his eyes, Jeongguk pulls his best pout – the one he uses to get one of his hyungs to buy him lunch when he forgets his wallet – and says, “Please, hyung? Just once.”

Taehyung sighs, says fine and then waves a hand in the air. Jeongguk immediately sighs as the sticky, wet feeling disappears, snuggling down into the pillow.

“Don’t get used to that. Next lesson you’re going to fuck me and there’s no way I’m letting you get away with not cleaning me up.”

Jeongguk is far too exhausted to get excited about the prospect of fucking Taehyung, instead he burrows further into the sheets.

“Sleep, hyung.”

“Jeongguk, it’s the morning, remember?”

“Don’t care. Shush."

He falls asleep to Taehyung’s deep voice singing in his ear, something melodic and haunting.

 

-- 

 

Jeongguk wakes up some hours later.

The very first thing he registers is pain.

His asshole feels like it’s on fire. A hot, burning stretch, a throbbing, internal aching that is unlike anything he has ever felt before. Taehyung never warned him that he might not be able to walk afterwards. How is he supposed to hide this from Jimin and Yoongi? How is he supposed to go to the gym?

There’s a light tap on his hip. Jeongguk opens his eyes as he makes to roll away from the wall. Even the slightest movement has him wincing, but a chuckle makes its way onto his lips, an evil thought floating to the front of his mind.

“You never told me it would hurt so much,” he says as he turns over. “I hope you realise that I’m going to fuck you so hard because of-”

He quickly presses his lips together when he realises that it’s not Taehyung leaning over him.

Yoongi looks ashen where he’s standing over the bed, his mouth hanging open where whatever he was going to say was aborted.

“That was-” Yoongi stops to clear his throat. “I was only going to ask you if you wanted to come out with us. That was not something I ever wanted to hear. Ever, in my whole life.”

Jeongguk can feel a blush blooming on his cheeks, but there are bigger things than him accidentally threatening to fuck Yoongi playing on his mind right now.

Like the fact that the bed is empty.

Jeongguk shoots up, ignoring the protest of his ass as he sits and looks around.

Taehyung is not lying on the carpet, like he’d expected, nor sitting at the end of the bed. Jeongguk’s laptop is still on his desk where he’d last left it. He puts a hand down to paw at the sheets.

The bed is cold beside him.

Yoongi is asking him something, a brow raised. Jeongguk hardly pays him any attention as he scrambles out from under the sheets.

“Oh my god,” Yoongi mutters, turning away. “Why the fuck are you naked?”

He can’t find it in himself to care about the fact that someone else besides Taehyung is seeing his body. He hastily grabs at the clothes that are laying by the bed, right where Taehyung tossed them not too long ago. He wildly pulls them onto his limbs, not bothering to grab his underwear. He looks around for something, a note or a message from Taehyung.

There’s nothing. There’s no sign of him anywhere.

“Jeongguk, what is going on?”

He starts to panic as he glances around the room, tries to take deep, calming breaths. Taehyung is probably out by the TV for some reason. Maybe the rest of the guys are over and Taehyung decided to go and hang out with them, like last time.

That idiot, Jeongguk thinks as he walks to the door. What if he gets sick again after being separated from him?

“Jeongguk! Are you even listening to me?” Something grabs at his arm, but Jeongguk shakes it away, opening the door and darting into the open room.

Jimin is standing in the kitchen, carton of milk halfway to his mouth, but he pauses when he sees his two roommates barrelling into the room.

“What’s going on?” He asks as he looks over them both. Jeongguk disregards him.

Taehyung isn’t here either.

There’s no stopping the panic now.

Where is he? Jeongguk thinks as he runs to the bathroom and sticks his head in there, in Jimin’s room, in Yoongi’s room. Did he leave the dorm? What if he went somewhere and now he’s dying because he’s too far from Jeongguk? What if he’s suffering and he can’t call out and Jeongguk is just standing here not even realising it’s happening? What if he got up a long time ago?

What if…

Jeongguk runs to the front door, wrenching it open and stepping outside. There are students milling about, not paying much attention to the panicked boy who’s standing in the middle of the hall. Pants not zipped, shirt on backward, hair a knotted mess. Eyes wide as he darts around, as he tentatively calls out, “Taehyung?”

“Jeongguk!” Jimin grabs him and spins him around. He looks concerned, eyes rapidly passing over Jeongguk as he holds him in place. “What are you doing? What’s gotten into you?”

“Jimin,” he gasps and when he reaches up to push him off, his hands are shaking. “Jimin, where- where is he? Where’s Tae?”

“Who?” Jimin glances around the hall, trying to tug Jeongguk back through the door. “What are you talking about, Guk? Where’s who?”

“Taehyung!” he shouts. “Fucking Taehyung, where is he?”

Yoongi appears from behind Jimin, quickly moving around Jeongguk and pushing at his back as Jimin pulls him by his arms, guiding him back into the privacy of their dorm.

“Jeongguk, calm down,” he says as he closes the door. “Who are you talking about?”

“Taehyung,” he cries, yanking his arms from Jimin’s before running back to his room. Maybe the idiot is playing some sort of prank on him. Jeongguk will strangle him when he finds him, for sure, and then he’ll kiss him and kiss him and- “Where’s Taehyung? He’s gone.”

He searches the entire room, breathing hard and heavy as he wrenches the closet door open, as he checks under the bed, as he rips the sheets from the mattress just in case.

He's not here.

“Jeongguk,” Jimin speaks quietly, voice calm. “Just relax, okay? Slow down and tell us what’s going on so we can help.”

Tears burst free from his eyes, running down his cheeks like waterfalls as his vision blurs.

“You don’t understand. He needs me. I have to find him quickly or he could die.”

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin murmurs, turning to the elder man. They seem to share some sort of look, then Yoongi disappears from the room, but none of that matters. None of that matters because-

Taehyung is gone.

Jeongguk falls to his knees with a sickening thud.

It can’t be true. They weren’t finished yet. Taehyung still had to teach him things, how to fuck him, how to be a good partner. Taehyung still had to ravish him, make him feel good, make him feel amazing. He can’t be gone yet. He can’t be, he can’t be.

Jeongguk collapses, spine giving out, but Jimin catches him this time, stopping him right before his head hits the floor.

He sits there, sobbing into his hyung’s arms, crying, repeating, “He’s gone, Jimin. He’s gone, he’s gone.”

Chapter Text

Days seem like minutes, passing by in the blink of an eye. Minutes seem like days, creeping forward like the world is moving in slow motion. Jeongguk lies on his bed and listens to his phone dinging where it’s plugged into its charger. Reminders for classes, emails from teachers, phone calls from friends.

Jimin comes in to see him a lot. He brings him food and water, some of which he takes, some of which he doesn’t. He says a lot of different things, some of which Jeongguk listens to, some of which he doesn’t.

Jeongguk used to watch romantic comedies (because they were the only movies on TV, not because he wanted to) and laugh when the actors pretended to be heartbroken, acting like their whole lives had come to a devastating and grinding halt. He used to read Iron Man fanfiction (because… okay, he doesn’t have a good excuse for that one) and snort when Y/N was going through the pain of being broken up with, talking about it like it was a physical illness, like they literally couldn’t go on.

Jeongguk understands now that he was the wrong one. 

His head is aching from crying so much, throbbing every time he moves even an inch. His nose is permanently blocked, such that he has taken to breathing through his mouth. Though he would love to claim that he has never really been a crier (except for when animals die in movies. Fuck you I Am Legend.), he has never had someone who was such a huge part of his life be ripped away from him like this.

It’s so quiet.

There is a knock at the door.

He knows it’s not Jimin or Yoongi. They’ve taken to letting themselves in, knowing he’s not going to answer them otherwise. It’s definitely not one of the others, who would’ve just barged in on a normal day.

He sits up, head protesting at the first time he has moved in a day.

A silver-haired head peaks through the doorway. Jeongguk’s jaw drops open.

“Mum?”

His mother offers him a small smile as she pulls her coat off, reaching up to pat down her greying hair. It’s windswept, like she’s fought her way through a storm just to get to her son. Maybe she has. Jeongguk wouldn’t know since he hasn't been outside for days now. The concern in her eyes is poorly concealed, especially when Jeongguk bursts into tears in front of her.

“Oh, sweetheart.”

Jeongguk feels her arms wrapping around him and, for the first time in many years, he feels small. There’s something about seeing your mother that just strips away all of your defences. In the real world, Jeongguk can pretend like he knows what he’s doing, pretend like he’s an adult, like he’s mature, like he’s not that upset about all of this. But mothers can see through all of that bullshit in an instant, such that there is no point in pretending anymore. Jeongguk’s defences crumble the moment she pulls him into her chest and he’s a vulnerable child once again.

An hour later she sits beside him on his bed, one hand rubbing his back as he hunches over, staring at the carpet. She has managed to wrangle him into some clean clothes and make him eat a proper meal, something only a mother could accomplish.

“Jimin told me that he’s worried you may be upset with him for calling me, but he is very concerned about you, Jeongguk. Can you tell me what’s going on, honey? You seem very upset.”

“Well, mum, it’s quite simple. My sex demon friend fucked my virginity away and made me come like three times and then he left and now I can't jerk off without crying - like seriously, yesterday I fingered myself and bawled the whole time - and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him but I only realised it when I woke up and he was gone and, yeah, I’m sad that he’s gone, but I’m more sad that he’s going to spend eternity not knowing how much I love him, so yeah, life sucks, mum.”

No, Jeongguk doesn’t actually say all of that.

Instead, he settles for a shrug. He has no idea how he’s going to get his mother off of his back, how he’s going to get his friends off of his back. He knows Jimin. He’s not going to leave Jeongguk alone, not unless he signs himself up for a counsellor or something. Jeongguk is starting to wonder if maybe he needs one.

His mother looks anxious at his silence.

“Is it your school work? Are you stressed?”

“You don’t understand,” Jeongguk mutters, sighing. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s nothing like that.”

His mother pauses, her hand stilling on his shoulder blade.

“Your friends mentioned something about a girlfriend…”

Jeongguk glances over to her. She looks so sad, so very worried for him and he is immediately struck with shame. He’s upsetting everybody around him, even his damn mother. She travelled hours to come see him, to make sure he is okay and he can’t even tell her what’s going on. She’s going to be thinking about him constantly if he can’t come up with some excuse, right here, right now.

“It wasn’t a girl.” He looks into her eyes, letting her see how upset he is and letting her think he’s telling her the full story. “It was a boy.”

The only sign that she even hears what he’s saying is the momentary rise of her brows, but she brings them back down in a flash. Instead she smiles and says, “I see.”

“He…” Jeongguk starts, but tears are building and his throat closes in on itself.

His mother pulls him into her hold again, a warm and gentle embrace, hugging him while he cries. She says into his hair, “Your father and I love you no matter what, honey. We don’t mind who you choose to love, so long as you’re happy.”

Honestly, Jeongguk hadn’t even had the time to think about how his sexuality might be a problem. He had been so wrapped up with Taehyung, so focussed on the demon that he hadn’t even thought about the idea of coming out or how that would go. He’s just using it as an excuse to distract his mother, but in that moment he’s happy to know that she doesn’t mind. At least there is something positive to come from all of this.

 

--

 

His mother bids him farewell a few days later. It's nice to spend time with her, no walls needed, just a kid and his mother even if some of the conversations are a little awkward.

("Honestly, Jeongguk, it's not very surprising. You always gave off that vibe."

"Mum!")

She gives him a kiss and a hug, as well as a subtly admonishing reminder to, “Remember you can always come home whenever you want. Your bedroom is still the same way it was when you left. Don’t be a stranger.”

The train door closes behind her. The wheels of the carriage clunk as they carry her back to Busan. Jeongguk waits until he can’t see the train anymore before he turns around and walks back his normal life.

He heads off to the gym the next morning, bag slung over his shoulder, ignoring the worried gaze Jimin burns into his back as he willingly leaves the dorm for the first time in a week.

There aren’t too many people inside the gymnasium. Jeongguk immediately heads towards the mats after changing clothes. For the first time in months, he puts his headphones in and turns on a workout playlist. No one is around to pull his headphones out and insist that he pay attention to them, after all. He starts his warm-up, concentrating on getting his blood pumping and not once being distracting by someone flicking his forehead or pulling the back of his shirt up. 

He heads to the weights. Pulling the bar off of its support and holding it up, he begins his squats. He stares straight ahead as he listens to some thumping house beat. No one stares at him. Not once does he feel the need to pull his shorts down. He doesn’t have to put the bar back on its support to snap at anyone to fucking stop trying to bench press, you idiot.

He finishes his work-out just in time for a class. He sits at the back of the room and studiously takes notes. No one digs their fingers into his side and complains about how bored they are. No one informs him that, Dude, that old professor is horny right now. I can tell. He gets through the lecture with no distraction, taking in all of the information and making notes of what he needs to study. When he gets back to his room, he sits down at his desk and pulls his textbook towards him. No one sits next to him, blowing the pages and making them turn while he’s reading. No one tugs on his shirtsleeve and whines, I’m bored, let’s practice your handjobs some more.

When the guys come over that night to play some video games and wolf down some pizza, Jeongguk joins them just like he usually would. It’s a stress-free experience. He doesn’t need to worry about concentrating on two different conversations at once. No one asks him to hand-feed them a slice of pizza. He doesn’t need to stifle his reactions, because there’s no one making fun of all his friends just to make him laugh.

When Taehyung was here, Jeongguk complained about how loud he was, how annoying he was. Like he was a buzzing fly that lingered around him. He made Jeongguk’s life difficult, stressful. He made him do things he had never done before, never wanted to do. He didn’t just throw him into the deep end, he fucking dumped him into the middle of the Mariana Trench with an anchor chained around his neck. Taehyung was a constant weight on his mind, a nuisance, a pain. Loud, distracting, teasing, mocking.

Now Jeongguk lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking about how quiet it is.

There’s just nothing.

No talking, no laughing, no moaning, not even the calming breaths of another human as they watch a YouTube video. It’s just him, just like it was before. Just Jeongguk alone, the way it always was.

It’s like Taehyung never existed.

It’s like Taehyung never existed and as Jeongguk goes about his normal life, days passing by with no colour and no variation, he starts to wonder. Guilty thoughts, a little voice in his head that makes him question if maybe Jimin was right to be worried about him. Maybe Jeongguk really did get so stressed out that he imagined it all, that he made the whole thing up just to cope with some strange anxiety issues he was dealing with. Maybe Taehyung was never real. Even now, two weeks after Jeongguk woke up alone, his memories of Taehyung seem hazy. Like a dream he has just woken up from, slipping away from him until it no longer exists in his mind.

It’s easier, Jeongguk thinks, like this. It’s easier if demons aren’t real and hell isn’t real and Taehyung isn’t real. It’s easier to pretend that he likes how quiet it is now, that he enjoys his life the way it was before. 

It's easier like this, Jeongguk thinks.

 

--

 

Jeongguk knows it's Jimin when he feels a hand closing around his wrist. It’s always Jimin.

They’d all been at Hoseok’s. Jeongguk notices the way everyone has been doting upon him lately, babying him, going out of their way to try to make him smile, make him laugh. It might’ve worked had it not been so painfully obvious. Choked by their stifling attention, he has taken to getting up and leaving them, muttering an excuse that he needs fresh air or his phone is dying. Today is no exception. He had stood up in the middle of a game of Mario Kart and walked out of the room, heading back to his own dorm, mindful of the silence that is left in his wake.

He’s not angry at them, except maybe he is. Maybe he is angry at all of them. Angry at the way Seokjin has been clinging to him recently, a hand slung around his shoulders in some sort of attempt at a comforting gesture. Angry at the way Yoongi always gives him soft smiles, at the way Namjoon always pulls him aside to give him some sage, but unwarranted words of advice. Angry at the way Hoseok is so jovial, smiling in Jeongguk’s face, oblivious to the fact that he’s the one who triggered this when he bought that stupid Ouija board all of those months ago. Angry at Jimin. Angry at Jimin because none of this would have ever happened if-

Jeongguk turns around and frowns at Jimin’s tiny fingers as they tug at his arm.

“Can I please talk with you, Jeongguk?” But he’s already pushing his way into Jeongguk’s room, just like he pushes his way into every other part of his life.

“I’m really worried about you.” He speaks softly, kindly. His eyes are gentle but they’re searching, probing, and Jeongguk feels as though he’s an art piece on display, something to psychoanalyse, like there is some deeper meaning behind all of his mundaneness. “You haven’t gotten better. I know your mother said you’re having relationship troubles and she told us that you’d come to us when you’re ready. But it’s been weeks and you’re not improving. You’re sort of getting worse. I just want to know if there’s something I can do. Or we can do.”

Jeongguk stares. His lips are sealed tight, but he can feel the words pushing at them, fighting to get out. He holds them back because he can recognise that Jimin is being caring, that he’s being a good friend. He’s a good friend, don’t say it, he’s a good friend.

“I know what you need.” Jimin brightens up suddenly, a grin suddenly flashing at him. It flickers like a shoddy bulb. He’s putting on a show for Jeongguk's sake, just like everyone else. “Let’s go and get drunk. Yeah? How does that sound?”

Jeongguk stares at him for a long time before he shrugs. Alcohol doesn’t sound like the worst thing he could indulge in right now.

That’s how he finds himself standing over a bowl of jungle juice, a thumping bassline rattling his bones, a headache pounding along with the beat as he ladles cup after cup of the punch and downs each and every one. The drink is sickly sweet and it makes his nose wrinkle with every mouthful. Jimin stands by him pretending like he’s drunker than he is. The others have dispersed, spreading into the college party like mould, attaching themselves to different groups and enjoying the night.

“You should go have fun,” Jeongguk says flatly to Jimin, not turning to look at him. “You don’t have to babysit me. I can guarantee that I’ll be standing right here when you’re done partying.”

“I’m afraid you won’t be standing at all.” Jimin’s hand appears from his peripherals and steals his cup just before he lifts it to his lips again. “How many of these things have you had?”

Jeongguk turns to him. There’s a haze in the room, probably coming from the joints that most of the party has been smoking. That coupled with the dim lighting and how quickly Jeongguk is losing his grip on reality makes Jimin look funny, like a yellow-tinged, pulsating mass that won’t leave Jeongguk alone.

“Who made you my guardian angel?”

Jimin smiles a cute, lopsided smile at him.

“You’re sweet. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“It wasn’t- wasn’t a compliment.” Jeongguk stumbles on his words. There is something in his stomach, swirling and bubbling and ready to come up. Since he’s only been here for an hour, it’s probably not vomit just yet. It seems to be something much worse, something that makes him scowl at Jimin as he grabs his cup back off of him. “I’m not your baby. Leave me alone.”

“Jeongguk,” Jimin says, scolding tone making Jeongguk want to grind his teeth together. “Don’t take your anger out on me. I know your girlfriend broke your heart, but don’t push your friends away because of it.”

“There is no girlfriend,” he states, glaring. He experiences a sick sort of pleasure at the way Jimin’s face falls.

“Huh?”

“There is no fucking girlfriend,” and this time he screams the words. Thank goodness for the obnoxiously loud music that saves Jeongguk from creating a scene. Only Jimin hears him, leaning back away from his quickly reddening face with his brows raised.

“What are you talking about, Guk?”

And all of those words that he held back earlier, that he's been holding back for months, come tumbling out in a drunken, barely coherent mess.

“This-this is all your fault, you know? If you hadn’t have involved yourself in my business, no one would have found out that I’m a virgin and Hoseok would’ve never made that stupid request and I never would’ve met Taehyung.” He shakes his head, reminding his inebriated mind that Taehyung isn’t supposed to be real because it’s easier like this, but that doesn’t matter right now. Jeongguk may just be crazy after all. He certainly feels crazy as the room bulges and collapses around him.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Jimin answers, voice weak. “Like I said, don’t take your anger out on me-”

“But I’m angry at you, don’t you fucking get it?” Jeongguk gestures to Jimin with his cup, ignoring the way alcohol sloshes over the rim and onto Jimin’s shirt. “You’re always nosing your way into my business. Who I have sex with has nothing to do with you, who I talk to in my room has nothing to do with you, what I fucking choose to drink has nothing to do with you. I never asked for you to babysit me. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I’m- I’m just trying to be a good friend for you, Guk.”

Jeongguk chews at the inside of his mouth as he looks Jimin up and down. He looks like a freshly run over puppy and Jeongguk feels bad, for sure, but it’s easier like this.

“Good friends don’t make their friends feel like they need to lie just to get them off of their backs. Stop shoving your way into every part of my life. Maybe there really was no Taehyung and maybe I am crazy, but that doesn’t make you my carer. I’m not your charity case.”

Jeongguk throws his cup down at Jimin’s feet and stomps away, leaving him frozen solid by the punch bowl.

He has never felt like this before: so angry, so unsettled and nervous. His hands twitch by his sides as he pushes through the house, no destination in mind as he stumbles into a hallway.

He’s pretty sure he’s about to cry again if the stinging in his eyes is any indicator, though that might just be from the haze. He doesn’t really want to have another breakdown in front of a bunch of strangers, so he runs up a staircase and wrenches open the first door that he sees.

Two guys startle apart where they’re sitting on a couch, turning to Jeongguk with wide eyes and swollen lips. One of them merely wipes his mouth, a grin forming. The other turns pale as he stands up.

“I’m not gay!” he shouts, moving away from the other guy. He glares at Jeongguk. “Fuck you. We were just- We weren’t-”

“Been there, done that, my dude.” Jeongguk sways over to him and clasps his shoulder. “Just accept it. It’s a lot easier, trust me.”

The guy punches Jeongguk in the stomach. It’s a pathetically flimsy blow, but it still catches Jeongguk off guard enough for the dude to slip out of his grasp and dart out through the door, slamming it closed on the way out.

“Are you alright?” The other man quickly moves over to him, a hand on Jeongguk’s stomach.

Jeongguk looks down at his hand as it moves over the top of his shirt, then up to his face as he quirks a brow when he feels the muscles underneath it.

“Are you gay?” Jeongguk asks.

“Bi,” he answers.

Jeongguk leans up and connects their lips. The guy doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

He’s tall, arms wrapping around Jeongguk’s waist and tugging him backward toward the couch. His mouth tastes like beer and he smells like an olid mixture of different men’s deodorants. He kisses Jeongguk rather languidly, despite how desperate he himself is as he follows him down onto the couch, quickly straddling him.

“You’re really good at that,” the guy murmurs as they separate. Jeongguk stares at him, swallows and closes his eyes. He sees silver hair and dark flashing eyes, so he opens them and resolves that he won’t be closing them for the rest of the night.

“Can I suck you off?” he asks, something twinging in his gut.

“Shit. Of course, baby.”

“Don’t- don’t call me that.”

“Sorry,” comes a mumbled response as Jeongguk gets on his knees on the ground in front of him and tugs at the guy’s pants. The world spins around him. While he leans up to pull his clothes down, Jeongguk thinks about what he’s supposed to do first.

There’s something beside him, a presence to his right. A deep voice whispers in his ear, Try riling your partner up with light, teasing touches.

Jeongguk takes a shaky breath as he places his hands on the man’s thighs and slowly trails them up towards his crotch. He pulls back, fingertips dancing over his skin and he doesn’t miss the goosebumps that follow behind them. He gently prods his legs apart, pressing soft kisses to his inner thighs and tasting something bitter in his throat as he gets closer to his rapidly hardening cock.

He presses the flat of his tongue to the underside of his erection, dragging it up along the length. The guy hisses, but Jeongguk ignores him. He flickers his tongue at the head of his cock, kisses the helmet, listens to the voice that says, You’re allowed to use your hands, you know. He darts a hand up and clasps it around the base of the guy’s cock, running his tongue more firmly along his length.

That’s it. Lips tickle at his ear, breath hot over his neck. You’re so pretty like this. You and your cute little tongue on my cock.

Jeongguk moans as he starts pumping his hand along the base of his erection. He lets the saliva in his mouth drip down, using it to ease the friction of his hand. You don’t have to focus on only the shaft, the voice reminds him and he quickly lowers his head and dips down to the guy’s heavy balls, licking over them, pulling them into his mouth one at a time and sucking on them, ignoring the moaning above him and how it is slightly higher in pitch compared to the voice in his ear.

Perfect. You’re so perfect.

Jeongguk whimpers, hand flying down to his crotch and palming at his own hardness as the guy moans above him. He moves back up until he’s poised over the tip of his cock. He hesitates, not wanting to repeat his past mistakes.

With your tongue pushed forward you can stop your lower teeth from hitting anything sensitive. Chills spread over his skin as the warm breath fans over his ear. You can use your upper lip to protect your upper teeth. Simple.

Jeongguk does as told, tongue sliding forward over his teeth before he brings his lips down on the head of the guy’s cock.

“Fuck,” he grinds out, hips jumping but Jeongguk holds him still with one hand. “Fuck, you’re-”

Jeongguk wishes he would be quiet as he slowly starts bobbing his head. He feels a hand in his hair and moans as it starts guiding him.

Fuck, you feel so good, baby. The hand in his hair tightens. So warm and wet. I love the way you look with your pretty lips stretched around me like this.

Jeongguk whines around the guy’s length, preening as he rubs at the bulge in his pants, grinding against his hand. He takes as much of his cock into his mouth as he can, gagging a little but keeping up the pace with his other hand still working the base.

“God,” the guy groans. “Gonna come.”

Do you want me to come in your mouth, or not?  The voice murmurs in his ear. Jeongguk moans as a response, working his mouth faster and faster. Yeah, you want that? Want me to come in your mouth?

Jeongguk wants that so bad.

The hand in his hair tugs at the strands, pulling him down until the tip of the guy’s cock is right at the back of his throat as he comes. Jeongguk gags, pulling away, but it’s too late. The fluid mixes with the bitterness in his throat. Salty and sour and worse than… than he was expecting.

When he pulls away he looks up at this person, shuddering, licking his lips. Some guy, an unfamiliar face belonging to a complete stranger. His stomach heaves. He looks down to the man's deflating erection. The second dick Jeongguk has ever sucked in his life.

He throws up.

The guy nearly kicks him in the chin as he scrambles away, Jeongguk throwing up what is mostly jungle juice onto his naked crotch. The man retches, crying out as he shoves Jeongguk’s head away from him.

Jeongguk passes out on the floor.

 

--

 

It takes over a day for his hangover to dissipate.

Thankfully Namjoon found him by himself in that bedroom, no guy to be seen. Jeongguk decides quickly that he’s never ever going to think about that night ever again and he’s never ever going to think about that guy. It never happened, he decides.

Jimin doesn’t come to see him, which is how Jeongguk knows that he’s mad at him. Fuck him, Jeongguk thinks. Fuck him, fuck Hoseok, fuck all of his friends. He curls up on his bed, ignoring his phone as it buzzes relentlessly, a reminder for a class that started twenty minutes ago lighting up the screen. Fuck class. Jeongguk can pass university from his bedroom, surely. He can stay in here, in his dusty, musty cave of a bedroom, never seeing the light of day again.

He plans to take it a step further and never leave his bed, making a blanket cave within his cave that will allow him to put more layers between himself and the world, burrowing deeper into the strange little reality he has built for himself where he hates his friends and he gives blowjobs to strangers and he definitely doesn’t think about the fact that he threw up on someone’s dick because that never happened.

He plans to do that, but he only lasts about thirty minutes before he caves, no pun intended. It’s suffocating under the blankets and after so long under there, he’s breathed all of the fresh air in and replaced it with his own breath and to make a long story short he needs to go and brush his teeth.

With reluctance he pulls himself out from under the blankets and starts limping towards his wardrobe, zombie walk in full effect.

He wrenches open the closet door. He doesn’t look into the mirror on the right-hand door, for a multitude of reasons, but movement on the left-hand side catches his eye: his calendar swings back and forth as he opens the door, the picture of a small, fluffy, black bunny making him wince. Jimin bought him the Bunnies of the Month calendar as a dumb joke. It had never really meant anything to him, but now he bites his lip as he glances over it. He tries to ignore the leaden weight of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he pulls the sheet over to the next month. It’s long overdue. He’s pretty sure it’s like the 18th by now. He’s not entirely sure. Time is something that eludes him nowadays. A social construct.

Hooking the new month’s page onto the metal at the top of the calendar, he looks over the events of the months. He’s got some assignment due dates coming up, some frat parties that he missed while he was (still is) moping.

There’s something else though, something written in bright red pen in a messy scrawl that Jeongguk has never seen before and yet he still knows who wrote it. He has to concentrate to decipher exactly what it says, but he feels his heart struggle to beat as he interprets the words.

On the 28th day of the month the scrawl reads:

Give Taetae All the Blowjobs day: one blowjob every time you smile including right now when you’re reading this ;)

Perhaps it would be expected for Jeongguk to break down crying. Even he himself stands there, staring at the calendar, waiting. Waiting for the familiar sting, the promise of tears to start flooding his eyes, the weakness in his knees as he falls to the floor.

It never comes. Instead, he stands there, hands limp by his sides as he stares at Taehyung’s messy handwriting. The air suddenly seems thin, like there’s not enough oxygen and he has to breathe twice as fast to compensate. It’s easier this way, his mind is screaming, but he knows that he’s not fooling anybody. With a heavy gulp, he spins around, eyes narrowing in on his phone. He grabs it and a jacket and hurriedly leaves the room.

As he runs out into the dormitory halls, he sends a shakily written text:

 

Whr is ur fave hotdog stand?

 

Of course Taehyung was real. Of course he was real and of course Jeongguk never really believed that he wasn't. How could Jeongguk make up months and months of this person, this amazing, vibrant, unique person who forced him out of his comfort zone time and time again? How could he fake the feelings inside of him: the yearning to have Taehyung back for just one second, just so he can thank him, kiss him, tell him that he changed Jeongguk’s life? How could it possibly be easier like this, pretending Taehyung never existed, trying to forget all of the beautiful things he taught him about his self-esteem, his body image, how warped it was because of his past experiences. Why would he want to erase his constant affirmations that Jeongguk was totally normal looking, nothing unlike anyone else, and yet he continuously insisted that Jeongguk is beautiful. Even though Jeongguk doesn’t quite believe it of himself, he came to believe that Taehyung believed it.

 

Ooh craving to put your sausage in some nice warm buns?? ;)

hehe its up the river near the shopping centre. Outside the subway entrance

ask them for the special sauce. trust me it’ll change ur life

 

Jeongguk changes his course, sprinting over the campus grounds and dodging students as he flies past them. He knocks into an old lady as he barrels out onto the footpath outside the university, clipping her shoulder and quickly bowing at the slurry of curses she sends his way, but he’s not about to stop.

Thankfully it’s only a few blocks to the shopping centre. Jeongguk’s legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself to a stop outside a Hot Dog stand named Buns & Yums. The staff member behind the register regards Jeongguk with bored disinterest as he spins in front of the stand, frantically looking around and cursing when his search comes up short.

Another idea comes to him. It’s stupid, he knows, but he’s not a stranger to stupid decisions and so he takes off running into the shopping complex. After a quick scan of the directory, he makes his way up to the second floor and runs through the busy halls until he’s outside of a game store.

Remarkably, they have what he wants, and he shoves a pile of cash down on the bench and jumps on the spot as he waits for the staff member to give him his change.

Ten minutes and four disgruntled pedestrians later, Jeongguk is panting as he slams the door to his room closed, quickly getting down on his knees and tearing the plastic off of the Hasbro Ouija Board, for ages eight and up, adult assembly required.

He has no clue what he’s doing or why he’s doing it. Mostly, he just needs some closure so that he can move on. He just needs to thank Taehyung, to hold him and tell him how grateful he is for everything he did for him. This isn’t about being selfish, he tells himself as he sets the board up and pulls out the instructions. He’s not doing this because he wants Taehyung to stay with him on earth. That would be hypocritical. Be realistic, he hears his own voice echoing back to him, but he shoves it aside as he quickly gets up to close the curtains because it should probably be dark when you’re trying to summon a demon, right?

With trembling fingers, he holds the planchette – which, he never knew that that was a word until he read the instructions just now – down on the board and then he clears his throat and tries to remember what Hoseok said all those months ago.

“Um… Spirits… Hear my request.” He stares at the board with a warm flush spreading over his skin. He’s an idiot. This is stupid. This is never going to work. “Please send the incubus named Taehyung back to earth.”  

He pauses, waiting. When nothing happens he takes a shuddering breath.

“Please. Just- Just send him back to me so that I can talk to him. Just for a few minutes, please.”

He looks up. Maybe the lights will start flickering on and off, or something, the curtains billowing with a sudden gust of wind and then with a puff of smoke Taehyung will appear. But nothing is happening and Jeongguk jerks the stupid planchette in frustration.

“Please. I’m begging you. I…. I just want to say goodbye.” He dips his head, the stinging in the back of his eyes painful but no tears fall. “Please. Please.” He almost wishes that they would, just so he can get this horrible bundle of emotions out of him. He doesn’t want to feel like this anymore. He doesn't want to feel so empty, so without Taehyung.

“Fuck,” he mutters, turning on his knees and holding the planchette in his curled fist. He tightens his hand, clenching his eyes closed, growling in the back of his throat. The flimsy piece of plastic snaps in half, right down the middle, and Jeongguk glares at the shards as they fall from his palm.

This is ridiculous, he thinks as he sniffles, waiting for the torrent of tears and waiting for his lungs to collapse on themselves and waiting, waiting, waiting for something to happen. Alone in the stillness of his room, waiting for a breakdown that doesn’t come, he wonders what has become of himself.

This isn’t what Taehyung came to earth to accomplish. He would be sad to see what Jeongguk has turned into: angry and bitter and hating himself. He’d be devastated if he knew that Jeongguk tried to forget him, that he deliberately hurt his friends and blamed the world because he didn’t get his way. Yes, Taehyung is gone now, but every memory of him is alive in Jeongguk’s mind and he’d be a fool to let all of that die.

Movements filled with purpose, he pushes himself up onto his feet as he folds the Ouija board back up and puts it back in the box. He dumps it on his desk before striding toward the door.

He’s not going to go back to what he was before he met Taehyung. He won’t let himself. He was afraid and weak and so cripplingly self-conscious that he didn’t let himself experience the world. He has grown since then. He is something new, something different. Maybe he’s not perfect and maybe he doesn’t love himself just yet, but he’s trying. He’ll try, for Taehyung’s sake, he resolves.

Jimin is hunched over a textbook when Jeongguk enters his bedroom. He doesn’t look up when he seats himself on the bed, nor when he clears his throat.

Jeongguk sighs.

“I know you’re mad at me, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’ve been going through a really hard time lately and I took it all out on you. I didn’t mean-”

“Stop.”

Jimin turns around, swivelling on his desk chair. He huffs as he closes his laptop.

“I know you did mean it, so don’t say that you didn’t,” he admonishes as he stands, walking over to sit beside Jeongguk. He looks right into his eyes, his own shining with sadness. He reaches down and puts his hand over the top of Jeongguk’s, balled into a fist in his lap. “Jeongguk, I’m really sorry for everything. I didn’t realise how bad I was until you slapped me in the face with it. Even though you’ve asked me several times in the past, I kept trying to make you open and up and talk about things that made you uncomfortable. I guess I thought that that was your problem: that you were closed off and just needed to relax. I realise now that I was being selfish. I tried to make you more like me instead of thinking from your perspective. I’m really sorry for how I’ve acted over the last few months.”

“It’s okay, hyung.” Jeongguk reaches up and pats him on the head, a crooked smile on his face. “I really was projecting at the party. I wasn’t that upset about it.”

“That’s a lie,” Jimin murmurs, gaze imploring enough that Jeongguk looks away before nodding.

“It’s true that I didn’t like it,” he explains, looking down at their joined hands. “I’m just not like you guys. I don’t really like to talk about private things like that.”

“And that’s totally fine,” Jimin interjects. “Don’t apologise for being you.”

“I wasn’t going to. But I am sorry for the way that I spoke to you. I was taking my anger out on you. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, Gukkie.” Jimin grins, raising his arm and slinging it over Jeongguk’s shoulder. “We can just cuddle all of the bad feelings away.”

Jeongguk laughs as Jimin pushes him back onto his bed, snuggling up against him.

“I promise that I’m going to try to change,” Jimin says into the crook of his neck. “I’m going to be better.”

“Me too,” Jeongguk says.

An hour later, Jeongguk stands in their lounge. All five of his hyungs are there, staring at him expectantly. He had texted them on Jimin’s phone, asking them to assemble for an emotionally urgent meeting. They had whined about classes and queried the urgency of an emotionally urgent meeting but they had all agreed to come.

Of course they had.

“I’m really sorry for how I’ve been acting lately,” he says, swallowing down his nerves as he stands in front of the TV. He can feel a metaphorical spotlight on him, five pairs of scrutinising eyes watching his every move as he fiddles with his fingers, as a sweat breaks out on his brow. “I’ve been going through some things and I was very upset, but I shouldn’t have taken that out on you guys. I’ve been a jerk lately.”

“That’s okay, Jeongguk,” Hoseok chimes, voice ever cheerful. “We’re not upset with you. So long as you know that we’re all here for you to talk to whenever you need us, then that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you.” Jeongguk bows, head dipping. He instantly stands up, ignoring his own blush and quickly announcing, “I want to tell you guys the truth about what happened.”

He sees Jimin perk up and then attempt to look nonchalant all in one second. Jeongguk smiles to himself. Some things will never change, he supposes. Jimin will always be a nosey person, will always want to know that Jeongguk is okay and happy. That’s okay. Jeongguk can deal with some of the side effects of this from time to time. But he can see that his hyung is trying to change for his sake. That’s more than he could have ever asked for and it reassures him that he’s doing the right thing.

Jeongguk looks over each of them, then up to the ceiling. He takes a deep breath, and then he says,

“I’m gay.”

The resulting silence afterwards is surprisingly satisfying. As nerve-wracking as it is to confess, Jeongguk knows his hyungs, knows that they will love him no matter what. Because of this, he is able to find amusement in Jimin’s mouth popping open, in Hoseok’s eyes turning wide, in the way Namjoon nearly falls off of the couch, in the way that Seokjin calmly turns to Yoongi and says, “You owe me fifty thousand won.”

Wait, what?

“Oh,” Jimin squeaks, pulling Jeongguk’s attention away from Yoongi as he grumbles, reaching into his wallet and pulling out some cash. “That- that explains a lot.”

“Yes.” Jeongguk nods. “I didn’t know that I was until recently. I guess I always have been. Maybe that’s why I never slept with anybody. Also,” he schools himself again, ready to drop another bombshell, “when I told you all that I lost my virginity I was lying.”

“What?” Jimin suddenly looks scandalised. “You were what?”

“I was lying,” he calmly explains. “I was still a virgin at my celebrating-my-loss-of-virginity party.”

“I’ll take my fifty thousand won back, thank you.” Yoongi smirks at a frowning Seokjin, who reluctantly hands the money back to him.

“Why would you lie about that?” Hoseok queries, looking genuinely puzzled.

“I felt pressured. Everyone kept bringing it up all of the time and I couldn’t stand it. I shouldn’t have lied, I know, but at the time it seemed like the best way to get everyone to leave me alone.” Jimin pouts, looking guilty but Jeongguk quickly shrugs. “That’s in the past now. Anyway, I… I met someone. A guy.” If everyone’s attention wasn’t on him before, they’re all rapt now, staring as Jeongguk shuffles from foot to foot. “I… asked him to teach me. Sex stuff.” He scratches at the back of his neck, ignoring Hoseok’s coo. “He agreed and he started helping me.”

“That explains all of the fucking moaning all of the time,” Yoongi says, frowning. Jeongguk spins away from the group, hands flying up to cover his cheeks as he listens to his hyung embarrassing him further. “Jimin and I sleep with headphones because of that, you know.”

"What do you mean, sleep? I wear them almost all of the time now. You never knew when he was going to start moaning, it was-"

“Anyway!” Jeongguk shouts, turning back. “We spent a lot of time together and I sort of… fell in love with him.”

Even as everyone coos and awws and shouts cute things at him, Jeongguk feels an ache in his chest.

“So, wait,” Seokjin says over the top of everyone. “If you love him, where is he now?”

Everybody quietens. Seokjin shifts uncomfortably where he’s seated. The answer is fairly obvious. Still, Jeongguk smiles a sharp and bitter smile.

“He left.”

Arms are suddenly encasing him, a mass knocking into his body and nearly toppling him over.

“Fuck, Jeongguk,” Jimin says into his ear as he holds him. “Poor baby. Who is this guy? I’ll kill him. Tell me his name and I’ll kill him. Who does he think he is? I’ll end his life, I-”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Jeongguk says, wrestling out of Jimin’s hold. “Relax.”

“I’m sorry that you went through all of that, Jeongguk,” Namjoon says from behind him. Jeongguk looks up, meeting his sincere smile, his understanding eyes. “I’m sorry that you had to go through it alone. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that I’m sorry that you felt so pressured by us that you felt you needed to lie to us.”

There’s a chorus of apologies which Jeongguk laughs off with a wave of the hand.

“It’s okay. It’s all over now. I just wanted you all to know so that you understand me when I tell you I’m fine.”

It’s not the full story, sure, but they don’t need to know the fine details. That’s a secret for just Jeongguk to keep, a special story to remember in his heart when he’s old and grown and looking back on his life. The time that Taehyung came along and changed his perspective on himself.

“We believe you,” Jimin says, smiling as he pats his shoulder with a gentle hand.

“But just remember,” Yoongi says, Jeongguk craning his neck to meet his eyes, “that it’s okay if you’re not fine. You’re allowed to be upset. Everyone gets heartbroken once in a while. Your friends will help put you back on your feet so there is no need to act strong. You’re allowed to be not okay.”

“That’s right,” Namjoon agrees, eyes shifting from Yoongi as he nods along with his words, back to Jeongguk who stares wide-eyed as he says, “We’re glad that you’re fine, but it’s okay if you’re not. Whether you’re gay or straight, fine or not fine, we all love you regardless.”

The others nod along, smiling, grinning.

Jeongguk swallows, a lump in his throat making it difficult. He dips his head. Maybe it’s the atmosphere, the love and warmth radiating from each of his friends. Maybe it’s the stress from earlier finally catching up with him. Maybe it’s the way they’re all looking at him with knowing eyes. Whatever it is, it has his experiencing a moment of weakness that he’s not usually wont to succumb to, whispering into the quiet of the room,

“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“Oh, Jeonggukkie!” Jimin’s arms are back around him again, and there’s some yelling and aww-ing and more arms wrap around him, which is good because Jeongguk's knees fail him and he falls into his hyungs’ hold, crying openly in front of them for the first time in his life as his breakdown from earlier finally catches up with him.

It’s humiliating and he’ll definitely wish that it never happened when he’s thinking about it later in the day, but for now he’s happy, even as he bawls, even as he misses Taehyung and curses the universe for toying with his heart like this. He’s happy because he has his friends and he knows that he always will.

 

--

 

Five weeks after Taehyung left, Jeongguk decides that it is officially time to move on.

Every morning he wakes up to his empty bed and he wonders. Wonders where in the universe Taehyung is right now. Is he on earth visiting another human, sleeping with them, making them feel good? Or is he in another realm entirely, waiting for time to pass, thinking about Jeongguk? He wonders if Taehyung is as upset as he is. Or maybe he forgot about Jeongguk when he was sent back to hell. Maybe his memory was erased or maybe he was punished by Satan for not following his duties properly.

But wondering does nothing, Jeongguk realises. It's time for action. He has gone through his angry phase, his moping phase, his denial and his acceptance phases. Now it is time to move forward and he decides that there is only one way to do that. 

It’s time for him to find a boyfriend. A real one.

Obviously his love life is in shambles, what with the aforementioned heartbreak he’s going through. He knows that latching onto the next person he sees and trying to force a relationship to blossom isn’t the healthiest of recovery methods, but he can’t see the harm in trying to date someone. Maybe if he broadens his horizons just a little bit, he’ll be able to heal. He’ll be able to use what Taehyung taught him for good, to find a way to think about their time together as a positive thing that helped him grow.

As for his sex life, Jeongguk isn’t sure that he’s necessarily ready to go out and start banging people. Aside from one traumatic blowjob that never happened, he hasn’t even looked at another person in a sexual way since Taehyung arrived on the scene. But his sex life doesn’t just involve other people. It centres around himself and Jeongguk is tired of crying while he comes. He needs to find a way to stop associating sex with Taehyung, to find his sexuality and explore it in a healthy manner. Finding someone to date casually is the best solution to this, he decides.

And who better to help him find someone than Park Jimin?

Ever since their fight, Jimin has been making a discernible effort to leave Jeongguk to his devices. He didn’t comment when the maknae left the bathroom bin full to the brim with balled-up, soggy tissues after one particularly rough night, nor did he make any worried remarks when he found him in the kitchen, holding a soggy McDonald’s burger and bitterly cursing the universe with each greasy bite. Jeongguk genuinely appreciates how hard his hyung is trying, but he knows he can’t expect Jimin to hold back forever. He cares, in his own stifling way, and Jeongguk can’t stop him from doing that, nor does he want to. He can’t let him bottle up his need to nurture forever. If he doesn’t give him an outlet, he might just explode one day, smothering Jeongguk in cuddles such that he accidentally suffocates him.

So, one day, Jeongguk walks into his room and hands him his phone, telling him in no uncertain terms and with absolutely zero redness tinging his cheeks, thank you very much, that he wants him to make Jeongguk a Grindr account.

Jimin’s eyes had lit up, his grin so wide it looked like it hurt.

He forces Jimin to make his profile seem casual. After he’s gotten rid of some of his more flamboyant descriptions (young, sexy muscle pig with just-above-average-sized dick looking for someone to hold at night), (I like my men like I like my eggs: raw and mixed with other high protein liquids, if you know what I mean) Jeongguk starts swiping left on every guy on the screen.

 

Jimin stares at him where he’s seated at the kitchen table, watching his hand as it flicks left over and over, Jeongguk not even looking at the selcas of the surprising number of gay guys on and around the campus.

“Okay, stop.” Jimin’s dainty fingers curl over the top of Jeongguk’s, stopping him from dismissing the man on his screen. He leans down so that Jeongguk can’t escape his patiently piercing gaze. “Guk, I know that you’re hurting and that you miss this guy. I don’t know much about him, since I never met him, but I can see that you really, really liked him. I understand that.” Jimin pulls his fingers gently away from the phone. A photo of a young man with a wide, rectangular grin and somewhat familiar dark eyes lingers on the screen. Jong Shinwon, 24, it reads under his selca. “But you can’t do this to yourself, Jeongguk. If you want to move on, you need to actually try to move on, not stew like this.”

Jeongguk frowns down at his phone.

He quietly utters, “No one will be like him.”

“Not if you don’t give them a chance. You don’t have to rush into something serious. Just tell whoever you date that you just got out of a breakup and you’re still recovering.” Jimin moves over to sit beside him, pulling a chair across so that their thighs are pressed together. He leans down, long bangs brushing the phone screen as he assesses the photo. “How do you know that Shinwon isn’t a good match for you? Yes, he’s not your ex, but he’s someone who you could potentially have chemistry with. He could be the one who helps you put yourself back together, who helps you think of your ex as a happy memory.”

Jimin doesn’t wait for his answer. He reaches out and swipes right on Shinwon.

“What are you doing?” Jeongguk cries, latching onto Jimin’s wrist but it’s far too late.

It’s a match! his phone reads.

“There.” Jimin grins at Jeongguk’s horrified expression. “Now you just need to…” he taps the screen a few times and then sends Shinwon a message. “There. You’re all set.”

Jeongguk reaches out for his phone, gaping at the chat.

“What have you done?”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Why would you write that? You made me sound desperate.”

“Jeongguk, I wrote ‘Hey there’. How is that desperate?”

“You put a winking face. That screams desperate.”

“You said you wanted this to be casual! I didn’t know you were going to open with a marriage proposal.”

“I’m deleting this app. This was the worst decision I’ve ever-”

Ding!

They both stare at the chat, at the new message that pops up. Jimin smiles and pats his shoulder before standing up.

“Don’t let your past stop you from enjoying the future, Jeongguk. You never know what good things might be waiting for you just around the corner.” He saunters toward his room, tossing a small smirk over his shoulder. “You just need to take the first step.” 

Jeongguk sighs as his door closes, shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply now that he’s alone. He clutches his phone to his chest and nibbles at his bottom lip.

Jimin is right. He can’t keep moping. He can’t keep stagnating, telling himself that Taehyung would want him to move forward and yet making no move to do so. He has to take the first step. He has to give this thing a shot.

Who knows? Maybe Shinwon is the one.

He picks up his phone and reads the message waiting for him.

 

Hey :) Aren’t you the guy who threw up on my dick at that party a while ago?

 

Jeongguk is just about to delete the app, finger hovering over the X in the corner of the icon when there’s another ding and then another and then another. Perhaps it’s some sort of masochistic tendency that he wasn’t aware that he had possessed that motivates him to open the chat again.

 

it’s okay don’t freak out. aha I’m cool with it.

..not that I’m like into that . I wasn’t into it oh my god

I just meant that I don’t hate you or anything

I get you were drunk lol I was durnk too

drunk*

honestly, it was like the best blowjob I’d ever gotten

until you threw up on me that is

so like congrats?

fuck. I’m not good at this

 

Jeongguk stares at the chat, swallows even though his throat is like the Sahara right now, and starts clicking on his keyboard.

 

dude chill out

 

yes. chill. I’m totally chill!

 

 that blowjob never happened okay?

never.

 

right. got it.

I don’t even know you.

Never seen you in my life

:)

Hi, I’m Shinwon

 

And, despite everything, Jeongguk finds himself smiling.

 

--

 

Their first date starts off rather awkwardly.

“Where are we going?” Jeongguk had asked as they stood on the train, gently rocking back and forth as the carriage careened over the railway. Shinwon is loud and extraverted, easily carrying the conversation which is good because Jeongguk is feeling a little out of his depth.

They’d been chatting back and forth for a few days on Grindr until Shinwon had asked for his number. The conversation had continued from there and a week later, Jeongguk feels comfortable talking and joking with him. One day Yoongi passed him by where he was sat at the kitchen table, laughing at his phone.

“I haven’t seen you smile like that for a while, kid,” he remarked, his own lips lifted at the corners. Jeongguk had just ducked his head.

But meeting in real life is different. This is the first time that he has actually tried to date someone and he’s not sure how to do it. Is he supposed to act differently? Is he supposed to flirt a lot?

Thankfully, Shinwon doesn’t comment on his stiffness, rather just grinning and talking endlessly, despite other train passengers glancing their way every few minutes.

“It’s a surprise,” he had answered with a broad, rectangular grin. Jeongguk scrunched his face up. He’s not all that fond of surprises, mostly because they tend to turn out like this.

“Ta-da!” Shinwon strikes a flamboyant pose, jazz hands in full effect. “Here we are!”

Jeongguk swallows heavily, gut clenching. 

“Can we- Can we go somewhere else, please?”

“Huh?” The elder suddenly stands straighter, a thick brow raising in a perplexed expression. “You don’t like the fair?”

Jeongguk glances behind his date, to the garish rides and games, and shakes his head.

“Oh. Well, that’s okay,” Shinwon says, not missing a beat. “How about the arcade, then? There’s one not too far from here.”

Jeongguk nods, the motion making his head ache.

Thankfully things start to look up when they arrive at the arcade.

Shinwon is bright and happy by default, it seems, not caring how loud he gets. Jeongguk flashes apologetic looks to the nearest patrons when he cheers after winning at DDR. Still, he finds himself loosening up as they go from game to game. By the time they reach the basketball hoops, Jeongguk is the one yelling, telling Shinwon to, “Suck it, bitch!” and not even noticing a nearby incensed worker, nor the fond smile his date gives him.

By the time they’ve visited all of the games, they’re both peckish. Jeongguk suggests that they find a café in a nearby shopping centre.

He resolutely marches passed McDonalds when he spots it.

Sitting in a cute little café, they share some cake and order some drinks. Jeongguk stares at the Boba Shinwon ordered, vision blurring over until a noise jolts him.

“Hey.” He glances up to see Shinwon’s hand sliding back across the table after tapping it to get his attention. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Jeongguk looks up, fingers tightening around his mug of hot chocolate. Shinwon has his chin propped up on the palm of his hand, an evaluative look in his dark eyes.

“Is something wrong?”

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Why would there be something wrong?”

“If you say so. It’s just that you keep getting this really far-off look in your eyes every now and then. Like before at the fair, or when we passed that woman walking her dog.”

Jeongguk nibbles at his lip as he looks out of the window. He never knew that he was so easy to read. He casts his eyes over Shinwon, over his tall stature, his chestnut brown hair, his angular jaw. His soft eyes and patient smile.

Jeongguk feels his shoulders drooping.

“It’s just… I just got out of a relationship. Kind of.”

“Ah,” Shinwon nods knowingly, leaning back in his seat. “That explains a lot.”

“It does?”

“Yeah.” He pauses to take a bite of his cake. Jeongguk hides a smile behind his hand when he comes back up with whipped cream at the corner of his mouth. “You seem a little closed off. Like you’re not really invested.”

“Oh,” Jeongguk dips his head. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be like that.”

Something brushes underneath his chin. He feels his eyes widening of their own accord when he realises that Shinwon has reached over to tilt his head back, forcing their gazes to meet. From this angle, he looks a lot like-

“It’s okay, Jeongguk-ssi. I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to get over it. You shouldn’t force yourself into something new just because you feel like you need to move on. There’s no right time to move on. You just do it gradually over time and then one day you’ll be better.”

Jeongguk blinks at him, before pulling back.

“I’m not forcing this,” he argues. “I want to date you.”

“Are you sure about that?” Shinwon raises a brow.

“Yes,” Jeongguk confirms, frowning. He knows what he wants. “It’s just going to take me a little time to get used to this.”

Shinwon watches him stare down at his drink before he hums. Jeongguk glances up in time to catch his broad smile.

“Well, that’s okay. You’re cute enough that I’ll wait,” he says, concealing his cocky smirk as he sips his Boba. Jeongguk laughs when he sips a little too fast, coughing and spluttering, feeling something light in his chest even though it reminds him of Taehyung.

Maybe, just maybe, things are beginning to look up.

 

--

 

While date number one was pleasant enough, date number two goes a lot more smoothly. Jeongguk is a lot less awkward, there are no incidents like the one at the fair, and Shinwon wraps an arm around his shoulders when he’s walking them home. It feels nice. It’s not like there are butterflies fluttering in Jeongguk's stomach. Not yet. More like tiny moths, buzzing, stretching their wings, waking up and giving Jeongguk a taste of what's to come.

The third date is even better. A lavish restaurant finds them laughing when they both realise they’re not fancy enough to fit in. Jeongguk nearly chokes on his food at the sight of Shinwon’s face when he tries the duck paté. They end up regretting everything when the bill arrives, but Shinwon is a good person and doesn’t suggest they run like Jeongguk was expecting. Taehyung would've run, Jeongguk thinks.

He scowls to himself as they walk back through the halls. Shinwon is lovely and Jeongguk wants to like him. He deserves to have Jeongguk's full devotion, not his half-hearted thoughts, which is why he leans up when they’re outside the dorm and plants a kiss on the elder's cheek.

Shinwon freezes as he pulls away, lips parted in an O.

“I-”

“Thanks for being so patient with me,” Jeongguk mutters, his skin feeling warm. His heart is racing after his impulsive move. How is he even supposed to know if Shinwon likes him like that? Obviously he likes him, but does he like him? Why would he, why should he when Jeongguk has been so stand-offish? Really, what is he doing? Why did he do that? He’s probably freaked him out now. He should’ve just-

Get out of that head, Jeongguk.

The words make him jolt on the spot. The deep voice in his ear, so loud and so vibrant, instantly make his heart ache. Still, the admonishment is relevant. Jeongguk is so busy worrying that he’s not seeing what is right in front of him.

He looks and sees Shinwon holding a hand up to his cheek, his skin flushed, his lips pulled up into a stupidly wide grin.

In that moment Jeongguk accepts that Taehyung is gone for good.

He always told Jeongguk to get out of his head, to stop overthinking. Jeongguk has always been so self-conscious, so sure that there is something wrong with him, that he’s ugly, that he’s awkward. But those toxic thoughts came only from within. When he opens his eyes and looks, he realises that there is no one besides himself telling him these things. If he could just stop worrying, he’d be able to see. See, like he is now.

Taehyung is gone. But the advice that he gave Jeongguk, the confidence, the compliments, the love is not. Taehyung would want this, he knows. He’d want Jeongguk to be happy.

Shinwon can make him happy.

“Jeongguk, I-”

Jeongguk stops Shinwon from saying anything further, stepping forward and grabbing him by the jaw, pulling him down to connect their lips. The other lets out a small noise, a surprised little yell that Jeongguk swallows.

Then he kisses Jeongguk back.

The second man that Jeongguk has ever kissed and it’s almost as thrilling as the first time. It certainly feels just as nice. Shinwon is sweet, his lips soft as he gently takes whatever Jeongguk is willing to give him and not once asking for anything more. Admittedly, Jeongguk immediately thinks there is something missing, but he sees now. He understands. There was always something between himself and Taehyung, right from the start. Whatever that something was, Jeongguk doesn’t share it with Shinwon, but he knows that they’ll get there. He’ll get there. He’ll move on.

He pulls away from Shinwon and when he opens his eyes, he sees.

He sees Taehyung.

As in, literally, Taehyung is right there, right behind Shinwon.

Jeongguk, frozen solid, stares at the man standing in the hall with tears – clear, human tears – rolling down his cheeks.

“Jeongguk?” Shinwon shakes his shoulders. “Are you okay?”

But Jeongguk can’t answer, can’t speak, can’t even move his lips to try to make a sound as he watches Taehyung reach up to wipe his eyes, as he hears his laugh - his laugh, his laugh, his laugh that makes Jeongguk's insides spring to life, butterflies with enormous, fluttering wings making themselves known in his stomach - as he watches him walk over and say,

"Hi, Jeongguk-ah. Sorry it took me so long."

Chapter Text

Jeongguk is angry.

Jeongguk is angry at the stupid universe.

He is also angry at the stupid boy who is sitting on his bed and claiming to be an ex-demon, now human, who sold his immortality to the devil in order to live on earth with Jeongguk.

But mostly at the stupid universe for ripping Jeongguk’s heart out, letting him slowly pick up the pieces and feel accomplished as he glues it back together, only to tear it back out, throw it on the floor, stomp on it, spit on it, and then leave him alone with two boys in the most awkward situation he has ever been in in his life.

Jeongguk is angry, but he’s also shaken to the core and that’s why the first thing he says to Taehyung is:

“Why do you look like that?”

Taehyung doesn’t seem taken aback by his choice of question, nor his biting tone. He lifts a hand up to his dark brown hair and tilts his head to the side.

“I woke up like this. I suppose it’s my punishment.” Jeongguk’s eyes track his movements, watching from where he’s sitting at his desk, watching Taehyung’s long fingers threading through his thick, dark locks. “I guess how I looked before was a blessing from the devil. This is his way of getting back at me for rejecting his gift.” He glances over to Jeongguk, something bitter flashing across his face. “This and a few other things.”

Jeongguk nods and looks away from his dark gaze.

Shinwon had been rightfully confused when Jeongguk had reacted so grotesquely to Taehyung’s approach, though he seemed to catch on to the situation quickly. He looked reluctant to leave Jeongguk after the horribly awkward silence that had descended when they finished their kiss. He himself did not seem too affected by the stifling atmosphere, had simply wrapped an arm around Jeongguk's shoulders and squeezed them. A show of solidarity, a message that he’s there if Jeongguk needs him, but Jeongguk could only concentrate on the way Taehyung’s eyes, glued to the movement, shone bright with pain. The guilt was white hot in Jeongguk's stomach.

Shinwon had squeezed him again, this time to catch his attention.

“How about you two go and talk? I’ll stay here for a little while.”

Jeongguk finally managed to tear his gaze away from Taehyung, angling his head up to meet Shinwon’s tender, brown eyes. The shame only grew worse as he took in his patient and gentle smile, his silent show of support for someone who had so far done him nothing but wrong.

“You don’t have to do that. You can go home.” He lowered his voice, hoping that Taehyung couldn’t hear the way he murmured, “I’ll text you.”

But Shinwon had insisted, saying, “I want to, Jeongguk. It’s fine. I’d rather make sure that you’re okay before I leave. I’ll go introduce myself to your friends properly. I’d like to get to know them.”

And when Jeongguk just stared at him, wondering how he had managed to stumble across such an angel of a human – and, fuck – he just pushed at Jeongguk’s shoulder and firmly said, “Go, Jeongguk.”

So now they’re in Jeongguk’s bedroom, he and Taehyung. A place where they've already spent so much time together, where Jeongguk has learnt all about Taehyung and himself, and yet now it feels like he’s sitting with a stranger. Not just physically, though there’s no denying that Taehyung does look different.

There’s the dark, shorter hair, yes - he’s wearing different clothes for once, a loose tan shirt, rumpled with creases where he had had a backpack slung over his shoulder, falling delicately over some dark jeans - but his face is different too. His jaw is still strikingly angular, but it seems softer. He seems softer in general, like he’s gained weight. His skin is no longer smooth and golden, either. He has bags under his eyes, Jeongguk notes, which are red-rimmed from his crying. His skin is blotchy in places and he even has a pimple on his chin.

And he’s just so, so beautiful that it’s not fair.

But beyond his outward appearance, he looks somewhat unlike Jeongguk’s memory seems to recall. Probably because of the heartbreak he’s visibly experiencing. Where Jeongguk remembers sparkles, his eyes seem dull, flat, and cold. His lips, remembered for being pulled into a broad, rectangular grin, are now tugged down at the corners, even when he smiles. A tiny part of Jeongguk is glad that he wasn’t the only one to be broken.

The bigger part of him feels guilty, guilty, so, so guilty.

“What happened?” he asks, voice strained and weak so he clears his throat and tries again. “Why did you leave? How did you get back here? Are you really…?”

Taehyung sighs, sitting stiffly on the bed like he hasn’t spent weeks upon weeks sleeping on it, kissing Jeongguk on it, making Jeongguk come on it.

“I’m sorry, Jeongguk." He looks directly into his eyes. Tone laden with regret, he continues, “I’m really sorry that I left. I wish more than anything that it hadn’t happened like that.”

“We weren’t finished, though,” Jeongguk quietly points out, voicing aloud his own internal grievances. Things he thought when he couldn’t sleep all those weeks ago, angry thoughts he hurled out into the universe like rocks thrown at glass windows. Why did he have to go? We weren’t finished- we weren’t finished yet, why did you take him away from me?  But the glass never broke and Jeongguk was left crying himself to sleep. “You still hadn’t fulfilled your duties.”

“But I had.” Taehyung’s lips pull into a thin, straight line. “There were never any specific parameters set. Just that I needed to teach you how to be better at sex and that I needed to ravish you. I had already been doing the former for a long time. That night when I left, I got carried away and diverged from the lesson. I made you feel good and I suppose that was enough.”

“I see,” Jeongguk responds, looking down at his hands, pretending like his insides aren't heating up at the memories. “So, you knew?”

“No,” he immediately denies. “Not even the slightest bit. I did have a feeling once you had fallen asleep, a bad feeling, but I didn’t know what it was until I felt the pull. The call to return to hell.” He sighs and Jeongguk glances up through his lashes to watch his fingers digging into the tops of his thighs. “I wanted to wake you up and say goodbye, but no one can resist the call.”

The pain in his chest makes it difficult to breathe, but Jeongguk ignores it in favour of asking, “So, what happened when you woke up? Why are you here?”

Taehyung chuckles darkly, shaking his head.

“I tried, Jeongguk.  I really tried. You know, time passes differently in hell. It may have been only minutes here on earth, but it felt like years to me. I tried to tell myself to let you go.” He turns his head to the side, jaw clenched. Jeongguk wants to slap himself at the pang he feels at that. He was the one who told Taehyung they couldn’t be together. He was the one who begged him to think logically. He doesn’t have the right to feel hurt. “I tried to push myself to move on, to move forward, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t go back to what I was doing before. I couldn’t forget you, I wouldn’t.

“So, I went to the devil and asked him for mortality. He laughed in my face, Jeongguk. He’s a pretty scary dude. He already knew why I wanted to become human. I think he probably knew the whole time. But it’s kind of his thing to play with people’s emotions, so he strung me along and made me explain everything, made me beg.” Taehyung tips his head back, laughing again, although he almost sounds endeared this time. Jeongguk pictures Taehyung approaching Satan, begging to see Jeongguk again, and he feels like crying but he swallows it down as Taehyung continues. “He told me that I was a fool. He said that I’m sacrificing eternity for a mere mortal. He asked me, how do you even know that he’ll like you back? He told me that humans are fickle creatures, that you’d probably leave me.”

And the guilt…

“But I didn’t care. I told him that it didn’t matter. I didn’t care, I just wanted to come back to earth. So, he told me he’d allow it, but there was a price. He said that I would be punished. He said that if I thought he was just going to let me come to earth and be happy and in love with no effort, then I was sorely mistaken. And then I blinked and I was lying on the ground in the middle of a forest with dark hair and a new body.

“I thought that that was my punishment. I looked different and that was the price. I didn’t care because I knew that…” He cuts himself off, gulping, his throat shifting. He watches Jeongguk reach up and wipe a fist at his eyes, catching a stray tear. “I knew that it wouldn’t matter. And I thought he dumped me in the middle of a different country just to be a dick. I had to make my way back here. It took two months.”

“What?” Jeongguk finally speaks up, paying no mind to his froggy croak of a voice. “Two months?”

“Yes,” Taehyung nods, looking at him sombrely. “I’ve been human for a while now, Jeongguk.”

That's the moment. That's the moment that the guilt washes over Jeongguk, a wave that has been teetering over his head for a while now, only to finally break and soak him to the core, threatening to drown him as it pulls him under the water.

Jeongguk woke up alone some nine weeks ago. Taehyung came back to earth some eight weeks ago. Jeongguk tried to move on, tried to forget Taehyung, tried to replace him with someone else, and all the while Taehyung was making his way back to him. Taehyung was thinking of Jeongguk the entire time, no doubt in his heart that he’d come back and find Jeongguk waiting for him, and Jeongguk-

Jeongguk stares at Taehyung, mouth dropped open as he takes in the older man’s knowing gaze that is pinned onto him.

“I thought that all of that was my punishment, but I was obviously wrong.”

“Tae-”

“It’s okay, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk stands up, fists clenched by his sides. The guilt turns to anger, the water swirling around him heating up until it’s boiling lava tearing through Jeongguk’s very soul.

“I told you,” he hisses, shaking. “I told you not to do it.”

“Jeongguk-”

“I told you! You’re an idiot. Why would you do something so stupid? You literally bet your entire eternity on me and I- I didn’t-” Jeongguk turns slightly, tears slipping down his cheeks. He stops to sniffle loudly, swiping a hand over his nose. “I told you not do something like that just for me. I’m just a human, I’m not-”

A warmth on his shoulder makes him jump, swivelling to find Taehyung there with tears of his own brimming in his eyes. His own voice is thick and throaty when he speaks.

“Jeongguk, I didn’t do it for you.” His lips pull up at the corners, finally, and he flashes his teeth in a quick grin. “Not everything is about you, you know.”

Jeongguk stares bewilderedly at him. “But, you…”

“Jeongguk, I love you,” he says, like the words don’t make Jeongguk’s entire world shake at the hinges, like it doesn’t threaten to have his heart tearing at the seams. Taehyung reaches a hand up, delicate fingers wiping at his cheeks, smiling softly at the tears that he catches, glistening on his skin. “I love you and the small amount of time I spent without you was hell, so to speak. But I promise that I thought carefully about what you said to me. That’s why I didn’t come right back. If I had have sold my immortality for you, I would’ve been back in no time at all. Maybe I would’ve come back at a more convenient time.”

Jeongguk flinches even as Taehyung pulls back, putting a small amount of space between them, still smiling though his eyes scream at Jeongguk.

“But, I didn’t do that. I waited and I thought hard about what you told me. I was realistic, Jeongguk, just like you said. And I knew, realistically, that there was no way I could go back to an eternity of sex and nothing else. I knew that there was no way I could go back to perfect partners and wild trysts. There was no way I could go back to seeing earth from people’s bedroom windows and nothing more. I thought about spending the rest of eternity doing the same thing over and over. Never going to the movies, never eating popcorn, never seeing cute puppies on the street. I couldn’t stand the thought.” He lifts his hands and gestures around the room, before stretching his arms out wide and saying, “I want to see it all, Jeongguk. I want to go everywhere and do everything! I want to be a human and live. Live and die one day knowing that I enjoyed life the way it was supposed to be enjoyed.”

He drops his arms and smiles more softly at Jeongguk, who is frozen, stuck in place.

“I didn’t come back just for you, so don’t beat yourself up like I know you want to. I’m living, Jeongguk. You showed me how to live. I will never be able to thank you enough. These two months have been the most exciting times of my life. I met so many people. I travelled on busses and in cars. I saw so many beautiful buildings. I went to the zoo, and I even got a tattoo. Look!” He pulls the side of his shirt up suddenly, turning. Jeongguk has trouble pulling his eyes away from his face, dragging them down to his hip and looking at the skin that is revealed. For a moment, Jeongguk doesn’t even see the tattoo. He’s more focussed on how soft Taehyung’s skin looks, how there’s more fat than he remembers, how he’s ever-so-slightly rounder. Then he blinks and sees the art, a strange little character with a heart for a head and stupid-looking lips. Taehyung grins down at it as he drops his shirt. He looks back up and emphatically says, “I’m alive, Jeongguk. I’m alive and I’m so happy.”

Now when Jeongguk watches him, he sees the old Taehyung, the Taehyung of his memories. He sees the way his eyes sparkle as he speaks, the dullness gone. He looks just like the vibrant, excitable man Jeongguk came to fall in love with. It makes him smile, just a little. He believes Taehyung.

“Where did you get the money?” He asks quietly, sniffling as he gestures down to his hip.

“I stole it.”

Jeongguk immediately frowns.

“Tae…”

“I know, I know. C’mon, I’m still a demon at heart.” He laughs to himself. Jeongguk clenches his teeth together at the sound. “So, that’s how I ended up here. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find. I wasn’t expecting to see you making out with some dude though.”

Jeongguk turns away, but Taehyung’s hand catches his shoulder again, stopping him.

“It’s okay, Jeongguk. I know it’s been a while. I don’t blame you for moving on.” Taehyung tries to pull him back to face him, but Jeongguk keeps his head dipped. That is, until he feels Taehyung’s fingers tickling underneath his chin, forcing him to tilt his head back and meet his eyes with a gasp. Taehyung’s own eyes shine with hurt, but he’s smiling, always smiling. “I’m actually so proud of you, Jeongguk. Not that long ago you were convinced that you deserved to be alone. I’m so happy that you’re finally learning to love yourself.”

Jeongguk chin trembles underneath Taehyung’s fingers as he whispers, “It’s because of you.”

Taehyung’s smile falls. His lip quivers before he steps away.

“Well,” he says, turning from Jeongguk and facing the door. “Whoever that guy is, he better treat you right. He seems nice. I don’t have my magic anymore, so I unfortunately can’t really tell his intent just by looking at him, but... he seems like he genuinely cares about you. That’s all that matters.” His voice sounds steady even as Jeongguk stares at the back of his head, at the dark hair, at his solid form. He sounds almost jovial when he advises, “Just remember, Jeongguk, that he may hurt you and you may hurt him. That’s totally normal. You will likely go through a lot of partners before you find the person who is right for you. Don’t let that scare you from enjoying the moment. Enjoy your time with him and stay out of your own head. You might find yourself with him for a long, long time.”

Jeongguk can barely make his tongue move in his mouth, can barely think of a response, but then Taehyung moves toward the door and he jolts, stepping forward.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Taehyung stops at his panicked question, back still to Jeongguk as his head dips, voice almost muffled as he answers, “I’m leaving, Jeongguk. I want to see the world, like I said. I need to go and start living.”

Jeongguk’s voice cracks as he says, “Can’t you stay? Please, Tae.”

Taehyung turns then and Jeongguk starts, staring at the tears falling over his face in a continuous stream. His gut clenches, the guilt swirling around him like a vortex.

“I can’t, Jeongguk,” he whispers, grinning even as he cries. “It would hurt too much.”

Jeongguk closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s chest and pulling him close, tucking his dark-headed head into the crook of his neck and feeling his tears dripping onto his skin.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, tilting his head back and staring at the ceiling, his own tears dropping into Taehyung’s hair and it’s just as soft as before, so soft and silky and so Taehyung. The other sniffles into his shoulder.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he asserts, voice wavering as he pulls away. Space between them again, he looks into his eyes. “Thank you for everything. Goodbye, Jeongguk.”

He turns, opening the door and walking through it. Jeongguk’s breaths come quickly, too quickly. He stumbles after him mindlessly. As he moves into the living room, he meets eyes with Yoongi, standing on the other end of the room with Shinwon and Jimin. He's watching with a raised brow as the two crying boys cause a scene in the entry way.

Jeongguk pays them no mind, reaching down for Taehyung’s wrist and making him stop just before the front door.

There are so many words. Too many words. So many things that Jeongguk wants to say, needs to say.

Please don’t leave me.

I don’t want you to go.

I love you.

I want to see the world with you.

But it all jumbles together when Taehyung looks into his eyes. His own dark chocolate, piercing gaze makes his mouth open but no sound comes out and he realises that he doesn’t want to hold Taehyung back, he doesn’t want to stop him from living. It was the entire reason he didn’t want Taehyung to do this, was so angry at the thought of him sacrificing eternity for him. He doesn’t want to be the one that ruins Taehyung’s chance of living.

So, he whispers, “Will you come see me?”

Taehyung doesn’t miss a beat, grin stretching his lips, teeth shining white, eyes creasing closed, tears carving rivulets down his full, reddened cheeks.

“Of course,” he answers, tilting his head. “I’ll bring you souvenirs from all over the world. I’ll keep visiting you until we’re both old and dying and then I’ll move into the same nursing home as you and we’ll fuck shit up together. I’ll even suck your gross, wrinkly dick, just for old times’ sake.”

Jeongguk laughs, his hand tightening over Taehyung’s wrist before he lets it go, lets Taehyung go as he walks through the front door. It closes with a soft click and Jeongguk stares at it and wonders what the fuck he’s doing.

He’s let Taehyung slip through his fingers twice now. He can’t think over the roar of the waves in his mind, the guiltiness that has plagued him since the moment he locked eyes with him. Maybe it’s been lapping at the shores of his soul for longer than that. Maybe it started on his first date with Shinwon, or maybe when he made his Grindr account, or maybe when he tried to convince himself that Taehyung never existed.

There are footsteps behind him and then someone is turning him around.

“Jeongguk, what the fuck are you doing?”

A hiccupping sob leaves his throat, Jeongguk realising that he’s letting his hyungs see him at his most vulnerable again, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because Taehyung is gone, again.

Yoongi has his arms crossed, glaring at him. Jimin is running over and enveloping him in his arms, muttering something under his breath that sounds a lot like the word, 'idiot'. Shinwon walks toward the three of them with a soft smile on his lips.

“I-”

Yoongi's loud sigh cuts him off. “God, you’re an idiot. I can’t take it.”

“Jeongguk,” Jimin says, gently pushing Yoongi away, “what are you doing? Why are you letting him go?”

Jeongguk meets Jimin’s eyes as he brushes the younger man's fringe off of his face.

“I had to.”

“Why?” Jimin implores, sounding remarkably confused about Jeongguk's decision considering that he knows nothing about the situation. “What on earth makes you think that? You’re quite clearly not okay with it and neither is he. Don’t let him go just like that.”

Jeongguk stares with rounded eyes as Jimin gives him an encouraging smile.

“But- But Shinwon…”

There is a sigh and then Jimin lets Jeongguk go and steps away. He gives him a reassuring pat on the back before grabbing Yoongi and dragging him away. Shinwon steps forward and, without hesitation, lifts his broad palms up to Jeongguk’s cheeks, pulling his head back and making their eyes meet.

“Jeongguk, what the fuck are you doing?”

The squeak that escapes Jeongguk as he gapes at him makes Shinwon chuckle to himself. Jeongguk ignores his own running nose and aching head in favour of giving Shinwon his most disbelieving bug-eyed stare.

“You- What are you-”

“Jeongguk, I want you to know that if things don’t work out, or if you ever need a hand, or a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me.” He squeezes his face, laughing at the way his lips mush together. Jeongguk doesn’t protest, solid thanks to the shock.

“How are you- what?”

Shinwon seems to know exactly what his brain isn't capable of saying right now. He gives him a rather wistful gaze as he says, “I knew on our first date that you were still in love with someone else and that you weren't going to let them go any time soon. I had a feeling that this might happen.” He cocks his head to the side, smiling. “I’m just glad it happened sooner and not later. But if he hurts you, I’ll be happy to come and punch him in the face for you.”

Jeongguk sobs as he reaches up, pulling Shinwon tight against him and listening to the rumble of his chest as he chuckles.

“You’re so cute,” he muses, pulling back. “Don’t worry. We can still be friends.” When Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, he laughs, saying, “Hey, I mean it! Don’t think I’m not going to tell everyone about the time you threw up on my dick. I’m saving it for the right moment.”

Jeongguk manages to scowl at him for one second before he laughs, tucking his chin into his chest.

“Thank you for everything,” he croaks, connecting their gazes and trying to tell him everything his mouth can’t say right now. “You deserve to be loved… properly.”

“I know, right?” Shinwon drops his hands to Jeongguk’s shoulders and spins him around, slapping his ass and pushing him toward the door. “Now, go, Jeongguk. Go get your man.”

So Jeongguk does.

He whirls around, almost running straight into the door in his haste. He wrenches it open, launching out into the halls and sprinting.

He doesn’t need to go very far. He’s just rounding the corner in the corridor, headed straight for the elevators, when he practically leaves skid marks in the carpet as he digs his heels into it. His hands fly in front of him to brace against the wall as he slows himself.

Taehyung stares, eyes wide and tearful as the elevator doors begin sliding closed. Jeongguk steps forward just as they shut, separating them.

“Fuck,” he curses to himself before spinning around and looking for another option. He’s panicking, heart racing in his chest, breaths coming short and quick, not thinking too rationally when he spots a big, metal door down the end of a corridor that he’s never had a need to enter before. He darts toward the large fire escape door and pulls it open, not caring to read the sign that he realises in hindsight is a warning about-

The piercing squeal of the emergency alarm is ear-splitting and he instinctually raises his hands up to protect his hearing. Somebody nearby swears loudly and Jeongguk glances up to see a figure passing by, a guy his age who also has covered his ears, glaring at him.

“Nice one, dude.”

Jeongguk has already fucked up so many times at this point in his life that an added fire alarm triggering really doesn’t matter, so he shrugs at the guy and then turns back to the fire escape, launching in headfirst and running down the stairs so quickly that it’s a wonder he doesn’t trip and break every bone in his body.

Thankfully the lift made it down the one floor while Jeongguk was panicking, so Taehyung was able to get out when it juddered to an emergency stop. Jeongguk rolls up just in time to see him squeezing through the gap in the doors, looking around with confusion on his brow.

“Tae,” Jeongguk breathes out, running up and catapulting himself onto him. Luckily, everyone had already begun evacuating the building, so there aren’t many people around to witness the spectacle that the two crying boys are making as Taehyung barely manages to keep the two of them standing, stumbling back in the hallway under Jeongguk's weight.

“Jeongguk-ah? What are you doing?” Taehyung’s arms seem to curl around him automatically, settling at his waist, even as his voice reads hesitation. He’s still crying when Jeongguk looks up, but he smirks through it to teasingly say, “Did you set the alarm off? That was unnecessary. I would’ve waited at the bottom, you know.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk starts, ignoring his mocking and instead reaching up and placing a hand on his jaw. Taehyung’s brows raise as he glances down towards his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The dark-haired man gives a bitter smile as he pulls his head away. “It’s okay, Jeongguk. You have nothing-”

“No,” Jeongguk interrupts, grabbing him by the jaw more firmly this time, feeling it slacken under his palm as he keeps him still. “Listen to me. I’m sorry.” He dips his head, more tears welling up. “I didn’t- I thought you were never coming back. I didn’t know you were here. I would’ve waited. I would’ve waited forever but I thought- and I was so sure that you weren’t- So I…”

“Okay, okay. Shush now.” Taehyung laughs as Jeongguk sobs, head falling to rest against his collarbone. “I understand.”

“No!” Jeongguk cries against his shirt, knowing there’s snot running out of his nose and onto it and not finding it in himself to care. “No, you don’t get it.”

“Jeongguk, I do.”

“No, you don’t! Just let me-”

“I’ll stay.”

“-explain and- What?”

Taehyung tips his head back and laughs loudly at Jeongguk’s shocked expression. He reaches up to wipe his hand over his own cheeks, brushing away his tears before moving to do the same for Jeongguk, cleaning up his face with delicate touches.

“You love me, right?” He asks, smiling because he already knows the answer. “And you want me to stay?”

“I-”

“I was really hoping that you would change your mind. I’m not really sure how I’m going to travel the world without any money. I can’t keep stealing things or I’ll get arrested and that won’t be much fun. I was secretly hoping you’d follow me and offer to be my sugar daddy, or something.”

Jeongguk reaches up and hits him on the chest, glaring at him as he sniffles. Taehyung grabs his hand before he can pull it away, grasping it in his own as his other holds Jeongguk tightly by the waist, tugging him closer so that their fronts are pressed together. All the while the alarm blares in the background, but Jeongguk can barely hear it anymore. Taehyung looks into his eyes, serious tone in his voice when he questions,

“Do you love him?”

Jeongguk shakes his head quickly.

“Do you like him?”

This time he hesitates.

“I- I thought that you weren’t ever going to come back. I thought that you would want me to move on, so I looked for someone. He was- He is really lovely and I felt like I could maybe one day…”

“I see.” Taehyung sighs, pulling Jeongguk’s palm up and pressing his cheek into it, nuzzling into the warmth of his hand. “It’s okay. I really am proud of you. You’ve grown so much.”

“I don’t want him, though,” Jeongguk quickly says. “I want you, hyung. I promise, I don’t want anyone else.”

“I know, Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung says, smiling. “I’m not hurt.”

“I’m still sorry,” Jeongguk whispers, finally taking control of his own hand, pulling it along Taehyung’s jaw again until his thumb is poised above his lips, watching them part just slightly before he presses it to them, caressing his bottom lip and marvelling at the way Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut. He quietly says, “I love you, Taehyung.”

Then he presses forward, tilting Taehyung’s head back ever-so-slightly so that he can-

“Hey! You two!”

Jeongguk jolts, feels Taehyung jump against him as they both turn their heads toward the angry voice to their left. There’s a flash of yellow and then there's a calloused, strong grip on each of their wrists, tugging them apart.

“What are you doing? Can’t you hear the alarm? Evacuate the building, immediately.”

The fireman pushes them toward the front door none-too-gently. Taehyung stumbles beside Jeongguk as they obey. Jeongguk wants to tell the guy to relax, that there’s no fire, but he doesn’t think the man would take too kindly to finding out that Jeongguk is the one that forced him to come out here so late at night so that two boys could take part in a scene so cliched it sounds like it was taken straight from the scene of a K-drama. He opts to remain silent instead, reaching out and pulling Taehyung toward the exit.

Jeongguk feels his face flush with warmth in spite of the frigid night air as he takes in the disgruntled crowd of students huddled out in the cold, waiting for the false alarm to be declared so that they can go back to their rooms. Some of them are in pyjamas, looking miserable in the chilling wind. Jeongguk ducks his head when he meets eyes with the guy from earlier, who is sending him a death glare as Taehyung pats his back.

“Your friends are here, Jeongguk-ah.”

Yoongi still has his arms crossed when they sheepishly hobble over to them. He doesn’t even look at Taehyung, just says to Jeongguk, “You did this, didn’t you?”

“Didn’t mean to,” Jeongguk mutters.

“Why are you so dramatic?” He sighs out, but then smiles, shaking his head with a little laugh.

“Sorry, hyung.”

“Aish, this kid.”

“So, did everything work out?” Jeongguk glances up to Shinwon, who still has his gentle smile on his face. Jeongguk feels guilt – but a different kind than the one before – strike at him as he slowly nods, but Shinwon just grins. “Good. I’m glad. You’ve got my number. If you ever need me I’d be happy to lend a hand.”

Jeongguk hugs him once again, pulling him tight against his chest and then letting him go, watching him slip off into the night.

“So,” and that’s Jimin’s voice this time, sounding rather biting as Jeongguk glances over to see him glaring at Taehyung, “you must be the guy who broke Jeongguk’s heart.”

“Hyung-”

“You listen to me,” Jimin murmurs, ignoring Jeongguk’s panicked expression as he steps closer to a bewildered Taehyung. “You ever hurt him again and I will personally tear every limb from your body. I don’t care if Jeongguk says it wasn’t your fault. If I ever see him crying over you I will make sure you pay for it, got it?”

If Taehyung finds Jimin’s threats funny, he doesn’t express that. In fact, he looks justifiably terrified. Perhaps because he’s mortal and he’s just now realising that Jimin actually could kill him if he really wants to. Either way, he nods quickly, eyes wide.

“Got it,” he squeaks.

Jimin grins, eyes squeezing closed. “Good! Welcome to the family!” And then he hugs Taehyung, Jeongguk feeling as disoriented as Taehyung looks as he stumbles into his hold.

He looks up, his eyes catching Jeongguk’s. He smiles as he hugs Jimin.

Jeongguk smiles back.

 

--

 

Jeongguk has never been so excited as he is the next day when he gets to introduce Taehyung to all of his hyungs properly.

That is, until he actually does it.

“So, you’re the guy who made Jeongguk moan all of the time?”

While Jeongguk blooms bright red and his hyungs giggle, Taehyung only smirks.

“That would be me.”

“I hate all of you,” Jeongguk says into his hands.

“I never thought Jeongguk of all people would be a loud one. You must really know what you’re doing with those big hands.”

Jeongguk tackles Hoseok, making him squeal as the others laugh. Gentle hands pull Jeongguk away and he falls into Taehyung’s hold easily, not putting up much of a fight when Taehyung pulls him in to his chest, nuzzling his cheek against Jeongguk’s.

“That is both gross and endearing at the same time,” remarks Seokjin.

“We’re glad that you’re happy, Jeongguk-ah,” says Namjoon.

Afterward, when they slip back into Jeongguk’s bedroom, Taehyung’s arms trailing over his ribcage, Jeongguk tentatively asks, “So, now what?”

“Hm?” Taehyung hums against his neck before he kisses the skin there. “Now I’m going to fuck my baby boy.”

Jeongguk gasps right as he bites at the crook of his neck, a startled moan escaping him before he quickly pushes his boyfriend (His boyfriend! His Boyfriend!!!) off of him.

“No, you ass. I meant, like, what now? What are you going to do?”

“Oh," comes his disappointed response, accompanied by a short huff. "Do we really need to talk about this? I think my idea was a little bit more fun.”

“Taehyung.”

“Fine,” Taehyung sighs as he collapses onto Jeongguk’s bed. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought it out.”

Jeongguk scoffs, “Of course you haven’t.”

“Hey, don’t get bitter with me. We’re supposed to be in the newlywed phase right now. You know where we’re both happy and have sex all of the time.” He gives Jeongguk a pointed look but quickly backs down when Jeongguk glares at him from where he’s standing in the middle of the room.

“I can’t believe you sold your eternity and then didn’t even come up with any sort of plan. You’re an idiot. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Hey.” Taehyung pushes himself up, frowning. “Don’t be like that. Come here.”

Jeongguk doesn’t resist, tumbling forward and falling into Taehyung’s side. He spent two months alone, wishing Taehyung was there to hold him. He’s not going to take that for granted now, even if he is annoyed. Taehyung pulls him so that he’s laying against him.

“What is this really about, baby?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Unless you’re horny, I know. But I’m horny right now. Surely that counts for something.”

“You’re literally the worst-”

“Jeongguk, just talk to me.” Taehyung pulls back a little so that he can stare Jeongguk down. “Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

Jeongguk purses his lips, considering being a bitch for a moment, before he sighs, his muscles loosening as he melts into Taehyung.

“You just said to me that you want to travel the world. That the entire reason you sold your eternity was because you wanted to live. You can’t just stay stuck here. That’s not living.”

Taehyung traces his fingers over his forearm before they raise up to turn his head, tilting it so that their eyes meet.

“I think that’s up to me to decide, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” he agrees. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I just- You’ll get bored here, won’t you? You’ve already spent so much time in this room, surely you want to see more.”

Jeongguk.”

“I don’t want to hold you back,” Jeongguk shouts in his face, before turning, falling back onto the bed. Taehyung stares down at him as he lies on the sheets, squeezing his eyes closed and raising his hands to cover his face.

“What are you talking about?”

“I- I wish I could travel with you, but I don’t have the money for it. And, I know it’s your decision, but this is exactly what I was afraid of.” Jeongguk lets his palms fall, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling, ignoring Taehyung’s piercing gaze from beside him. “You’ve given up your immortality and now you’re stuck here. You want to go and see the world but I’m keeping you chained up and- What if years from now you regret it? What if you regret not going and exploring while you were still young? What if something happens and you get injured, or worse? What if you regret making the decision? You might come to hate me because I was the one who made you sell your eternity.”

Taehyung lays a hand over his mouth before he can say anything more, holding it in place and leaning over the top of Jeongguk so that their gazes meet. He looks distraught, surprisingly so.

“I can’t believe this is how you really think,” he whispers and his voice sounds so pained that Jeongguk immediately feels ashamed of himself. “Jeongguk, you’ve got it all wrong. I want to see the world, yes, but do you really think that’s what living is? You don’t experience life just because you’ve seen some pretty places and done exciting things. Those things will make a person happy, for a while, but they don’t give you life.”

Jeongguk watches as he raises his other palm and presses it to his own chest, over his heart.

“Don’t you remember when you took me on a date? How I told you that I felt alive? All we were doing was eating greasy food on a blanket under a big tree that ruined the view of the park. There was nothing fancy about any of it, but I felt like I had finally gotten a taste of what life could be like. Spending time with you, feeling emotions I had never felt before… My heart was beating for a reason other than just pumping blood through my body. I had a reason to be alive that was more than just sex and it was because of you, Jeongguk. Sure, I could go and see some amazing places and do some exciting things, but I don’t want to do those things unless you’re there with me.”

He shakes his head, chuckling, before moving his hand and using it to stroke Jeongguk’s hair back. The younger has to fight to keep his eyes open, the warmth on his forehead making it nearly impossible.

“And what’s this about me hating you? You’re acting like you made me come back. You were the one who kept telling me not to, remember? I made this decision and I made it on my own. I knew you would be mad at me for it and I did it anyway. I only have myself to blame if things go wrong and I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“But what if you die early?” Jeongguk interjects, just barely managing a whisper as he voices his deepest fears. “What if something horrible happens before you get to live? Or, what if I can’t make you happy? What if five years from now we don’t like each other anymore. What then?”

“If that happens, then we’ll both move on, but to me that’s not only an impossibility but not worth worrying about. We’re together right now. That’s all that matters. Stop worrying so much about what could potentially happen and start enjoying right now, Jeongguk. You’re only hurting yourself.”

Jeongguk takes in the sincerity of his gaze before nodding slowly, swallowing.

“I’ll try.”

“As for the other problem, I could die right now and be happy. I didn’t sell my eternity so that I could live to be a hundred. I did it so that I could do this: hold you, and love you, and laugh with you, and everything else.” He pauses, tilting his head, then says, “Well, I’d rather die after I’ve fucked you, but details.”

Jeongguk snorts, pushing at his chest. Taehyung laughs too, then leans forward.

“Now stop this overly-serious, moping business. We haven’t even kissed properly yet. Stop depriving me of what I need.”

He’s not wrong. After the rude interruption by the fireman, there hadn’t really been an opportunity for kissing, nor anything else. They had stayed up late talking with Jimin and Yoongi, coming up with a flimsy lie to cover what actually happened with the two of them (“He had to move to a different country because his relative fell really ill.”) and by the time the two had sufficiently gotten to know Taehyung for the night (and, unsurprisingly, they had both fallen in love with him) the couple had been exhausted, practically collapsing onto the bed and falling straight to sleep. Come morning, Jeongguk had been so excited to introduce Taehyung to everyone properly that he had pulled him out of the bed, his own hair still dripping from his shower, taking him straight over to their dorm.

 

Jeongguk is feeling just as desperate as Taehyung seems to be, but as he watches the man leaning forward, his eyes fluttering closed right as Jeongguk’s do-

“I sucked someone off!”

Taehyung is already frowning when he pulls away, disgruntled expression flashing across his features. Even Jeongguk is getting annoyed with himself. He wants to kiss Taehyung, of course he does. He has been thinking about doing it since the moment he saw him in the hallway, since the moment before that when he was kissing someone else and comparing it to the way Taehyung felt. He wants it just as much as Taehyung, maybe even more, but there is still an amount of shame lingering in the back of his mind that makes him feel almost like he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve Taehyung’s love, not until he has confessed his sins.

“You what?”

“I gave someone a blowjob,” he blurts out, scrutinising Taehyung’s expression, waiting for anger or jealousy or disappointment. He only gets a raise of the brows and an,

“Oh?”

“Yeah- I- It was Shinwon. But I didn’t know it was him at the time. It was at a party and I was really drunk and upset about you... and I just wanted to do it, I don’t know why. Maybe to prove to myself that I was fine, even though I knew I wasn’t. Or maybe I did it out of spite. It wasn’t very good! I mean, I think Shinwon enjoyed it, but I threw up on him so… It wasn’t good. But I still understand if you’re mad. I’d be mad too!”

Taehyung just smiles at him, a twinkle in his eyes even as he rolls them.

“I’m not mad, you idiot. Like I said, I’m actually really proud. You went out and did something with someone all on your own. Even if you were drunk and not thinking straight, there’s no way you would’ve had the confidence to do that so many months ago. I’m so happy that you’ve come so far.”

“You… You aren’t angry? Or jealous?”

“Hm,” he hums, lips pulled up into a soft smile as he tucks some of Jeongguk’s hair back behind his ear. “Definitely not angry. I might have been jealous if you hadn’t have told me you threw up on him. That’s just funny.”

“I didn’t say that," Jeongguk quickly protests. "I never said that.”

“You definitely said something about throwing up.”

“No, I didn’t. It never happened. Shut up.”

“Jeongguk, is there anything else you need to get off of your chest? Because I’m going to kiss you in ten seconds so you better say it quickly.” Jeongguk’s heart jumps as he slowly leans closer, lips puckered obnoxiously, parting to say, “Ten… nine…”

“I also tried to pretend like you weren’t real and that I imagined you. And I bought a Ouija board and tried to bring you back. Also, I-”

Taehyung skips the last four digits and connects their lips, quickly raising a hand to cup Jeongguk’s cheek, holding it like he’s expecting him to fight back. But Jeongguk is done stalling. He presses his own palm back to Taehyung’s hair, threading his fingers through it and pulling him closer. Taehyung seems happy that he’s not resisting, rolling over so that he’s fully on top of him. With his knees either side of his thighs, he pulls Jeongguk’s jaw so that his head is tilted back slightly, smiling against his lips when they part. Jeongguk finds himself smiling as well, even as their tongues meet and his head spins.

“I missed you,” he murmurs, turning his head as Taehyung pulls away and starts pressing kisses to the corner of his lips, to his cheeks, to his chin. “I missed you so, so much. I missed you every single day.”

“I know, Guk,” Taehyung says against his lips before pushing forward again, breathing heavily through his nose as he lowers down, angling his head to the side so that he can move that millimetre closer, no space between them. Parting only to say, “I missed you too.”

Jeongguk braces one arm on the bed and wraps the other around Taehyung’s shoulders, pushing himself until he’s got enough momentum to flip them over. He gains some satisfaction from Taehyung’s surprised expression when he leans down and grinds their crotches together, smirking when he hisses at the contact.

“Well, look who’s getting bold,” he remarks, grinning widely. In the back of his mind, Jeongguk notes that his teeth look a lot less demonic, canines a normal length, but the front of his mind (and all of the rest of it too) is more focussed on the feeling of Taehyung’s hardening cock through his pants.

“I’m a sex expert now,” he jests, taking immense pleasure in the way Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut as Jeongguk starts grinding down on him rhythmically.

“I’ve never seen you so confident before,” he admits, voice airy.

“Because it’s you,” he answers, leaning back down and connecting their lips again. He stays like that, resting on his forearms, kissing Taehyung and swallowing his breathy sighs, grinding their erections together and feeling the heat spread all over his body. Taehyung seems largely overwhelmed, whether by Jeongguk’s sudden bravery or by something else, Jeongguk isn’t sure, but he’s gladly taking advantage of it, kissing down along his neck and nipping at his skin.

“I feel different,” he mutters as Jeongguk sucks a mark into his skin. “Weird.”

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk asks when he pulls away, heart skipping a beat as he puts some space between them. He glances up and down Taehyung’s body, voice slightly panicked when he asks, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he dismisses, but his brow is furrowed. “I just feel really… This is really intense.”

He laughs suddenly and then the world is spinning. Jeongguk lets out a small ‘oof’ as his back collides with the mattress. Then, he moans, unable to stop the sound as Taehyung is suddenly grinding down onto him with a lot more prowess than Jeongguk had.  

“I want to fuck you, baby. Want to make you feel good again.”

“Please,” Jeongguk breathes.

Taehyung groans against his lips, his hands now roaming his body as he kisses Jeongguk senseless. This is different to anything he’s done with Taehyung before. Intense, just like he had said. Maybe it’s because they’re not doing this under the guise of it being a lesson. Or, maybe because there’s no threat of someone dying if they don’t do it. They’re doing it because they want to, because they love each other.

Jeongguk shivers as Taehyung’s hands find his nipples at the same time as his mouth latches onto the lobe of his ear, biting down with his teeth and pinching with his fingers at the same time. The younger tosses his head back, gasping as he feels Taehyung rolling his fingers.

“Such a sensitive boy, aren’t you, baby?”

“Tae,” he gasps, lifting his hips up to meet Taehyung’s thrust. “Tae, need you.”

“I know, pretty.” Taehyung pauses to rip Jeongguk’s shirt up and over his head. He immediately resumes his previous work, one nipple pinched between his fingers, the other taut as he rubs it back and forth, scraping his nails over the pink tip and watching Jeongguk shudder and gasp.

“Tae,” he breaths out, a hand clutching at his forearm. “I want to touch you too.”

“All in good time, Guk,” he answers, before leaning down and taking his nipple into his mouth. Jeongguk catches a moan in-between his teeth as he finds himself torn between pushing his head further back into the sheets and tilting it down so that he can watch as Taehyung’s tongue flickers out over the pink nub.

He ends up going with the former when he feels Taehyung’s hand snaking into his pants, rubbing up against his hardness. He grits his teeth, hissing through them when the other wastes no time, wrapping a fist around him and thumbing at the leaking slit. The angle is awkward, but Taehyung doesn’t seem to care that his wrist is bending the wrong way, more focussed on licking over his other nipple, reddening it so that it matches the other.

“You’re awful quiet again, Gukkie,” he observes as he pulls back, moving upwards so that he can kiss his slack mouth. “You wouldn’t hold back on me, would you? Not after everything I taught you, surely.”

“H-hyung,” he manages to rasp, gripping at Taehyung’s shirt-clad shoulders and fisting the material. “Want to touch you.”

But Taehyung just shakes his head and says, “Just sit back and relax, Guk. I want to make you feel good.” He leans back, ignoring Jeongguk’s small whine as he takes his hand off of him. “Where’s that lube I bought for you?”

Jeongguk pushes himself up onto his elbows, twisting as Taehyung unbuttons his jeans, reaching under the bed and fumbling around until his fingers collide with plastic.

While he leans back up, he says, “You mean the one that you stole for me.”

“You really are a goody-two-shoes, aren’t you?”

Jeongguk makes sure he sees his eyeroll as he tosses the bottle into his hands. Taehyung throws Jeongguk's jeans aside so that he can catch it, looking it over with a raised brow.

“This is half-empty.” He peers at Jeongguk's face, features quickly melding into an expression of mortified realisation as Taehyung watches him through his lashes, a salacious grin on his lips. “You didn’t conveniently forget to tell me anything, did you? You haven’t been fucking anyone else while I was gone?”

“No, hyung,” he snips, kicking at his thigh with his foot. “It probably just leaked or something.” Taehyung giggles as he flicks the cap open and closed a few times.

“So, you’ve been experimenting, hm? Couldn’t go without something inside of you?”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m just teasing, baby,” he says through a chuckle, before dropping the bottle beside him and grabbing at Jeongguk’s briefs, pulling them down his thighs before he can flinch.

Out of reflex, Jeongguk lowers his hand, halfway to covering himself when he remembers that it isn’t necessary. He quickly pulls back, but Taehyung still catches the movement, a knowing smile on his face.

“It’s okay,” he says as he moves down, gently pushing at the inside of Jeongguk’s thighs. “You’ve made so much progress, but that doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. It’s normal to be shy, even with someone you trust. But don’t get yourself down about that. You might not even realise just how far you’ve come, but I can see it. You should be proud of yourself.”

“No more lessons, Tae,” Jeongguk reminds him, face glowing a light pink.

Taehyung grins as his fingers slide in between Jeongguk's cheeks. “Not a lesson. Just some advice.”

He rubs a finger over his puckered ring, Jeongguk shuddering and clenching. He’s so far away when Jeongguk glances down at him. He wants to kick himself for moping over not even a foot of distance between them but in that moment it feels like miles. They just spent months with realms separating them. Jeongguk decides that he doesn’t want to have any space between them anymore, not if he can help it. With this in mind, he lifts his hands up, reaching for him. 

“Kisses,” is all he says. Taehyung glances up, a soft smile melting onto his face and he crawls up along Jeongguk’s naked body, kissing his abdomen, his ribs, his collarbones, his neck, and then ending up at his lips. Jeongguk cups his face and holds him close. “I love you,” he whispers, just to remind him. Taehyung grins against his lips while his fingers trace along the insides of his cheeks. There’s a click and then they come back slick with lube. Jeongguk shivers as he circles his hole with the tip of his slippery finger. 

“You’re loose,” he observes as he slides it forward. 

“Sh-shut up, Taehyung.”

He chuckles into Jeongguk’s mouth, before sliding his tongue forward, another finger moving in simultaneously. It meets more resistance than the first and Jeongguk squirms at the familiar intrusion, the overwhelming stretch. 

Taehyung leans back slightly. “How many fingers do you use?” 

“I- I don’t...”

“C’mon, Guk, open up for me.”

The double entendre makes Jeongguk grimace, but he stutters out a, “Ju-Just two.”

“How cute. I can just picture you on your knees, reaching behind you and trying to fuck yourself with your fingers, whimpering when it’s not enough to fill you. I bet you wished I was there to make you feel good again, didn’t you?” His lips move against Jeongguk’s as he speaks, voice low and rough. He thrusts his fingers forward and then curls them upward. Jeongguk knows now that he’s aiming for his prostate. He has no trouble finding it, as he begins rubbing his walls and making him seize and wriggle underneath him. “I bet you were making the cutest noises while your cock dripped onto your sheets. A gorgeous, leaking mess just for me.”

“Tae!” Jeongguk gasps as he clutches at the sheets. His words hit a little too close to home, but he doesn’t need to know that. Taehyung isn’t waiting for him to confirm it either, continuing the dragging motion of his fingers while he kisses into Jeongguk’s mouth.

He doesn’t waste much time, spreading his fingers and stretching Jeongguk out. Something niggles at the back of Jeongguk’s mind, something that feels just ever-so-slightly off and he’s not sure what it is until suddenly Taehyung is lining his hard cock up with his hole.

“Wait,” he pants out, latching onto Taehyung’s hand that is braced against the bed next to him.

“What’s wrong, Guk?” He asks, pausing. He cocks his head to the side. “Don’t tell me you want to have a shower. Didn’t you have one this morning?”

Jeongguk furrows his brow as he casts his eyes over him.

“Why are you still wearing your clothes?” Taehyung doesn’t move, hand wrapped around the base of his erection which he has pulled through the parted zipper of his pants. If that on its own isn’t a strong enough indication that something is wrong, the fact that Taehyung seems to freeze up in response to the question alarms Jeongguk further. With suspicion alight in his tone, he asks, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Don’t worry, Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung says, tone exaggeratedly jovial. Then, before Jeongguk can protest, he’s pushing forward. For one second, Jeongguk forgets. Forgets that he’s concerned about Taehyung, forgets that something is off, forgets where he is. All he can focus on is the stretch, the slide of Taehyung’s cock as it fills him and his head falls back, muscles lax, and he moans deeply. Above him, Taehyung pants as he bottoms out. The fabric of his clothing brushes up against Jeongguk’s ass as he does. He braces himself on the bed on top of him, breathing heavily through parted lips as he stares down at Jeongguk. “Are- Are you okay?”

Jeongguk nods, reaching up to cup his cheeks, forcing their eyes to meet.

“Are you okay?”

Taehyung nods into his hands, but his jaw is slack and when he shifts he moans loudly.

“Fuck,” he hisses. “You feel so…”

He pulls back, just a few inches, before thrusting forward. He moans the whole way and Jeongguk joins him.

“God, Jeongguk,” he groans. “You feel so good. So… warm.”

“Tae,” Jeongguk cries, arms latching around his shoulders. “Go faster. Please, I can take it.” But Taehyung doesn’t listen, moving slowly, and slower with each thrust. His arms tremble on either side of Jeongguk and his breathing comes quickly through his mouth. He drops his head to Jeongguk’s clavicle, kissing it before resting there, his movements coming to a standstill. “Taehyung,” Jeongguk groans, except it’s admittedly much more like a whine. “C’mon. Move.” When he remains frozen above him, Jeongguk tries to push his hips forward, but one of Taehyung’s hands fly down to them, stilling him as he hisses.

“I can’t, Guk,” he murmurs against his collarbone. His lips leave goosebumps spreading over Jeongguk's skin.

“Why not? Are you okay?”

Taehyung chuckles, breath warm against his neck. “If I move, I’m going to come.”

“Already?”

"It’s just so… It feels different,” he says with an unsteady voice. “Everything is so much more intense. It never felt like this before.” Jeongguk reaches up for the back of his head, coaxing him to move so they can see each other. Jeongguk takes in his strangely bitter expression and purses his lips. Taehyung dons a more serious tone as he sighs out, “I think it’s because I’m human now. Incubi aren't made to experience pleasure, they're made to give it. Before my senses were dulled, though I didn't really know it. But now I'm feeling... everything and I don't think I'm going to last.”

He sounds unhappy about this, but Jeongguk just smiles. “Tae, you’re making me feel amazing,” he assures, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip and feeling him pant against the skin of it. “You are, I promise. Stop holding yourself back. I don’t care if you come first.”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment, then nods slowly. He reaches up for Jeongguk's hand, pulling it down against the bed and holding it in his own. He starts thrusting again, the movement winding Jeongguk momentarily and as he feels Taehyung’s cock pressing into his prostate he decides that he’s not going to hold himself back. He can’t. Taehyung deserves to hear how good he’s making him feel, deserves to know that regardless of whether he's an incubus or a human, Jeongguk loves him.

With this in mind, Jeongguk forces himself to relax, allows his moans to escape whenever they may.

It backfires.

Taehyung’s thrusts pick up when he hears Jeongguk’s pleasure, but the sound must do more for him than Jeongguk realises, because after a few more moments he’s trembling again, shaking all over, then he grunts, “Gonna… Gonna come, Guk.”

Jeongguk isn’t even close, but he just lifts a leg up, hooking it around Taehyung’s and saying, “Go on, Tae. Come for me.”

Taehyung's head drops back down to his chest again as he shudders, thrusts jerking to a stop. Jeongguk clenches down around him and he hisses, pressing forward in muted movements as his groans are choked in his throat.

The room falls silent, save for their panting breaths. Taehyung pulls back, a strangled moan escaping him, then pulls out entirely, leaving Jeongguk empty and hard. He doesn’t really care about that though, not when Taehyung sits himself on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

“This has never happened to me before,” he mutters lowly as Jeongguk pushes himself up, wincing at the wet aching of his ass. “I’ve never had any trouble holding myself back until the other person has experienced pleasure first.” He curses to himself, shaking his head. “I should’ve fucking known though. This is all part of my punishment. Satan said that he’d test me. I should’ve listened.”

Jeongguk watches him shaking his head, feeling distraught as he watches Taehyung clenching his eyes closed. He sidles over and throws an arm around him, pulling him close.

“Tae, I don’t care about all of that." He brushes some of his dark hair off of his forehead so that he can see him. "C’mon, you know that.” When he doesn’t respond, Jeongguk frowns, then lets his arm drop as he shoves at Taehyung’s shoulder. “Get on the bed.”

Taehyung looks up at him, tears shining in his eyes as he reluctantly moves back.

“What are you doing?”

Jeongguk looks around until he finds the bottle of lube, snatching it up and smirking.

“Well, I thought that you still had some duties left to fulfil.” He waves the bottle in front of Taehyung, who looks confused. “You still have one more lesson left to teach me, don’t you?”

Catching on, Taehyung glances from the bottle up to Jeongguk’s face. He looks hesitant for one moment, before he smiles softly, then falls back to lay on the bed.

“I guess I do. You want to fuck me, baby?”

Jeongguk shakes his head.

“I want to show you how much I love you.” He leans forward and connects their lips again, Taehyung’s sound of surprise silenced. He crawls up until they’re in a mirror image of their earlier positions, Jeongguk on top of Taehyung this time. He pulls back to say, “Let’s get these clothes off, yeah?”

Taehyung looks hesitant but he doesn’t bother fighting. He just lays there, boneless, while Jeongguk rolls his shirt up and pulls his pants off. Taehyung turns his head to stare at the wall, but Jeongguk doesn't miss the way he holds his breath, waiting for a reaction.

“This is why you didn’t want to take your shirt off?” Jeongguk can hardly keep his incredulity concealed as he runs his fingers down his chest. “Really, Tae?”

“I woke up like this,” Taehyung mutters, eyes clenched closed. “I know it’s not pretty. I just thought that maybe…”

“You’re a hypocrite,” Jeongguk accuses, drawing Taehyung’s shocked eyes over to him. “You harped on about my body and how I shouldn’t put myself down. Now you’re doing the same thing?”

“Yeah, because you have abs, Guk!” Taehyung gestures down to his abdomen, looking a lot like Taehyung’s used to. Now, where he had a flawless set of abdominals, Taehyung's belly is soft, a gentle swell in place of the muscles. “You’re naturally beautiful. I was supernaturally beautiful. I'm fat and I have hair now and-”

“And you still are beautiful, Tae,” Jeongguk insists, hand still moving over his stomach. “I would think that no matter what you looked like. Really.”

Taehyung looks sceptical, until Jeongguk dips his head down and kisses his belly. He gasps, shivering.

“Besides,” Jeongguk says against his skin, “this means that I’m the hot one now.”

Taehyung laughs abruptly, stomach shifting underneath Jeongguk’s lips as he kisses over his belly.

“Now that's character development,” he muses, then he giggles further when Jeongguk blows a raspberry right over his bellybutton. He pushes at his forehead to stop him. “You promise you don’t mind?”

Jeongguk answers by grinning wickedly and digging his fingers into Taehyung's sides, dancing them over his belly and listening to his high-pitched laughter in response. Taehyung squirms underneath him until he stops, then he reaches up and yanks Jeongguk down into a breathless kiss.

“Sorry I came so quickly,” he mumbles. “It might take me some time to get used to my new body. I hope- That’s okay, right?”

“It’s fine, you idiot,” Jeongguk answers, huffing. Taehyung just smiles, trailing his fingertips over Jeongguk’s cheekbones until he smiles as well, before gently pushing him back.

“Okay then. It’s time for your final lesson, young grasshopper. Are you ready to officially become a sex master?”

Glad to see Taehyung more like his usual, impish self, Jeongguk goes along with him, nodding sagely.

“Teach me your wisdom.”

“Very well. What’s the most important thing to remember when it comes to anal penetration?”

Jeongguk glares at him as he pulls back onto his knees. Taehyung giggles, but gives no apology, so Jeongguk sighs before getting serious. “Lube,” he answers confidently, but Taehyung is already shaking his head.

“No, that’s the second most important thing. The first thing is protection.”

“Protection?” Jeongguk repeats, tone coloured with surprise. “You want me to wear a condom?” He watches Taehyung nodding, his own head cocked in confusion. In their time together, protection has never once been an issue and though Taehyung has brought it up, Jeongguk had assumed that it would never become one.

“Jeongguk, I’m human now. As we’ve both discovered, I no longer reap the benefits of being an incubus. That means I unfortunately can now carry human diseases. Unlike you, I’m not so self-conscious that I feel the need to shower every time I get down and dirty, but this means wearing a condom is somewhat necessary. In time, we could probably go back to not using them, but since you’ve been sexually active with someone else, I would feel more comfortable if you wore protection.”

Jeongguk immediately splutters, neck flushing red.

“That was just a blowjob!” He flashes a glare at Taehyung. “And I told you, that never happened.”

Taehyung snickers as he pushes himself up on the bed, before walking over to the other side of the room. Jeongguk finds himself staring at his ass as he bends, picking up a backpack, the one he had on him when he first arrived.

“I made a couple of stops on my way here. I had high hopes that you’d be the one I’d be using these with. And, yes, Jeongguk, I stole it all. Get over it.”

Jeongguk resists the urge to eyeroll, again, and instead catches the little box Taehyung throws at him. He watches Taehyung deposit the backpack by the bed, before crawling up to lie on his back. Something crosses his mind as he waits for Taehyung to get in place.

“You didn’t wear a condom just now.”

Taehyung dons a sheepish look, grinning with glinting teeth.

“I sort of forgot. I wasn’t really thinking straight, okay? But from now on, we're doing this right. Now,” he switches to a more upbeat tone, ignoring Jeongguk’s frown, “you were correct that lubricant is also extremely important. Why don’t you grab some and open me up?”

Jeongguk grimaces as he puts the box down next to him, fishing around the sheets until he relocates the bottle of lube. Taehyung shimmies out of his underwear while he does. It seems he’s not as worried about being naked below the belt, probably because he’s close to no different there. His thighs are softer, a little more jiggle to them than before, and there is a light dusting of hair over his skin where it was flawlessly smooth before. Jeongguk finds himself lifting his left hand, slowly running it over the top of them, caressing the skin. It’s still just as beautiful as it was before, even though it’s different, more flawed. Taehyung is beautiful to him, even like this. Jeongguk feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness surging up within him as he strokes Taehyung’s thighs, a loud voice in his mind firmly announcing, mine. Now that he's human, the rest of the world will be able to see Taehyung. There will be people checking him out, hitting on him. Jeongguk is going to have to work on his evil glare in order to deter any unwanted pests. He has a boyfriend to defend.

Taehyung clears his throat, jolting Jeongguk out of his internal proceedings. The younger shifts on the bed, glancing down at Taehyung's nudity and realising all at once that he's about to fuck someone for the first time.

“Uh… What do I do?”

Taehyung smiles, endearment visible on his face. He spreads his legs further apart, lifting one of them so that his hole is exposed. Jeongguk, for all his touting that he’s a sex expert now, quickly looks away. Taehyung just chuckles and says, “Remember the golden rule: Light, teasing touches to begin with. Don’t go poking your finger up someone’s ass first thing. You need to get them warmed up.”

Jeongguk nods once, swallowing, then he steels himself and gets down in-between Taehyung’s legs. He grabs the open bottle of lube, squeezing a bit onto his fingers, before tentatively reaching forward, making contact and immediately cringing. Taehyung laughs above him, hand reaching down to pat Jeongguk’s head. Jeongguk looks up to see that he’s shifted so that he’s sitting up against the pillow, watching like the good teacher he is.

“It’s okay, Jeongguk. Just do what feels right.”

So, he does. He rubs the pad of his finger around his hole, feeling the ridges under his skin and shuddering. His hole is so pink and… pretty and Jeongguk finds himself staring, unable to look away as he circles it, as it flutters under his touch. He feels his gut clenching, arousal flooding back to him with a vengeance.

“Perfect,” Taehyung says approvingly. “You can try lots of different touches. Circling like you’re doing is great, or stroking a few fingers back and forth can work too. Pressing really lightly is a great way of teasing. Experiment a little.”

Jeongguk takes his advice, changing his circling to a light back and forth motion, watching with fascination as his hole disappears beneath his fingers, as it appears, winking as his fingers tease the nerve endings in his skin, happy when Taehyung’s cock starts to twitch to life above him.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself. If he wasn’t gay before, he’s definitely gay now. He really wants to put his tongue on Taehyung’s hole, finds himself yearning to do so, but that seems like a lesson for another time. Instead he leans up and licks Taehyung’s balls. The other flinches hard, clearly not expecting him to make such a move.

“Fuck, Jeongguk,” he hisses as the younger gently takes them into his mouth one at a time, rolling and sucking on them as he rubs his finger over his hole, feeling him trying to clench around nothing as Jeongguk moves up to kiss his hardening shaft. “Fucking- You’re definitely not a virgin anymore, are you?”

“Wanna finger you, Tae,” he says, surprised by how thick his voice sounds as he peers up through his lashes at a stricken Taehyung. “Please.”

Taehyung gulps, shuddering, and rasps, “More lube.”

Jeongguk reaches back for the bottle, quickly squirting more onto his fingers and wasting no time, rubbing it over his hole and pulling back a bit so that he can watch as he presses the tip of his finger firmly at his entrance.

“Slow,” Taehyung warns, eyes trained on Jeongguk’s face. “It’s been a while and I don’t know if it’s going to hurt more now that I’m human.”

Jeongguk pauses and, for one split second, feels like crying again. It suddenly hits him that Taehyung is really human, he’s really here for good this time and he did it for Jeongguk. He may have had other motivations, but he loved Jeongguk enough to throw away eternity. For him.

He wishes he could reach up and kiss him right now, but he doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to miss watching the heat of his hole slowly engulf his finger as he pushes it forwards. Instead he turns his head so that he can press kisses into his inner thighs, sucking some of the skin into his mouth, knowing he’s leaving marks and feeling chills at the way Taehyung gasps. He turns his head back in time to watch his finger bottom out, then stills.

“Good?” he checks in. Taehyung is already nodding, breathing deeply.

“Yeah. ‘S fucking good, Guk.” His voice is thick too now, heady, and when he opens his eyes they’re heavy-lidded, dilated, and Jeongguk wants to throw the whole lesson out of the window and fuck Taehyung right then and there. For fear of hurting him, he swallows the urge down, but he does pull his finger back so that he can slowly fuck it back into him, listening to Taehyung’s rasped, “Fuck, Jeongguk,” and feeling proud of himself.

Soon Taehyung is squirming and Jeongguk figures he’s as impatient as he himself feels. He’s just opening his mouth to permit Jeongguk to add a second finger, but Jeongguk has already moved the digit back so that he can press the pad of his middle finger to his hole, watching it give under the pressure and suck his fingers in. He hears Taehyung hiss, panic hitting him for one moment before he hears the other moan.

“Hell, Jeongguk. You’re- Fuck. You can- Faster.”

Hearing Taehyung all strung out and gasping for him does something horrible to Jeongguk, something that makes him growl under his breath as he starts pumping his fingers in and out of his hole, feeling it gripping around him and flinching as a wave of heat floods through him. There's a stunning realisation hitting him that he’s about to feel that around his cock. He presses his fingers into the heat, back and forth, watching Taehyung’s thighs start to quiver occasionally and hearing him whimpering under his breath. He thinks back to their last time together, to all of Taehyung’s lessons, before he stops. Taehyung instantly whines.

“Why’d you stop?” He pouts. Jeongguk hides a grin against his thigh, cocky now that he’s got the upper hand.

“Wanna find your prostate,” he murmurs against Taehyung’s skin before kissing along the inner seam of his thigh again. “Wanna make you feel good.”

“You are, Guk,” he assuredly breathes, hand finding his hair again, threading through it and making Jeongguk’s eyes want to flutter shut when he tugs on it. He pulls his fingers back, shuddering a breath to say, “Right. Uh… Okay, remember where I told you it would be?”

“Along the front wall about two inches in, right?”

“Right,” he answers. “Rub your fingers up along the wall. I’ll tell you when you’ve got it.”

Jeongguk turns his concentration back to what he’s doing, having to rip his gaze away from the little red marks on Taehyung’s skin. Instead he focusses as he twists his fingers until he can press them along his upper wall, slowly moving up until Taehyung says, “Stop. Right there. Rub the pads of your fingers back and forth over that spot with an even, firm pressure. Like- Fuck, like that. Fuck, baby.”

Jeongguk takes a moment to get the right momentum, shifting up onto his elbow so that the angle is easier on his wrist. By the time he settles he gets the hang of it, pressing his fingers up into that spot and moving back and forth in a steady rhythm. He can feel Taehyung clenching around him, but it’s not enough. He wants to hear him moaning, so he leans up and kisses at the tip of his now-hard cock.

Taehyung mewls in surprise, hips jerking even as Jeongguk mouths at the head of his cock. He hears him moan his name, enough confirmation that he’s doing the right thing, and he pulls his other hand up so that he can hold his cock steady as he takes it into his mouth.

This is right, is what Jeongguk immediately thinks. This is better. He feels bad for it, but he immediately decides that Taehyung’s cock is the only one he ever wants in his mouth. No offense to Shinwon, but this just feels right. The head of it is heavy against his tongue, the weight pleasurable in his mouth. It tastes bitter, but somehow Jeongguk loves it, wants more, wants to feel it in his throat. Taehyung is moaning above him as he works his fingers. Jeongguk wants to hear more, wants Taehyung’s hands in his hair pushing him down, forcing him to take more. He really wants it.

Thankfully, Taehyung still seems to have his sexual wits about him, because it isn’t long before Jeongguk feels fingers threading through his hair. He immediately moans around his cock.

“I know, baby,” Taehyung rasps, tightening around Jeongguk’s fingers. “I know what you like. Fuck, Jeongguk, your fingers feel so fucking good inside of me. God. Yeah- Jeongguk, fuck.”

He pulls at Jeongguk’s hair, guiding him up until he’s got him moving his head, bobbing it in a medium-paced rhythm. Jeongguk finds it difficult to concentrate on maintaining the thrusting of his fingers, on making sure he doesn’t accidentally scrape his teeth against Taehyung. The other doesn’t seem to mind when he slacks though, continually spitting his filth out as he presses his hips down.

“Add another finger, baby. Yeah, fuck. Fuck, Guk. Your fingers are so good. Your mouth too, you’ve got such a good little mouth. Perfect for my cock.” Jeongguk moans again, wishing Taehyung would just fuck his mouth already but knowing that that’s something that needs to be saved for another time. As he pumps and twists his three fingers, Taehyung starts rocking against them, moaning softly and continuously, the sounds starting to melt into each other. Vaguely, in the back of his mind, Jeongguk thinks about the fact that the others may be home and may be able to hear all of this, but he doesn’t really care. Not right now anyway. His mind is otherwise occupied, especially when Taehyung tugs viciously at his hair until he has gotten him to pull off. “Shit,” he gasps as Jeongguk stills. “Shit, baby. So good, I had to stop you. I was about to come again.”

Jeongguk doesn’t want him to fall into another spiral of self-hatred, so he reluctantly pulls his fingers out of his lovely, warm hole and starts kissing up his body. He makes sure to spend extra time on his soft, little belly. He loves the feeling of the skin under his lips, the song of Taehyung’s heavy breathing as he kisses up and up until he's at his lips. There Jeongguk kisses him firmly, immediately sinking his tongue into his mouth and intertwining it with Taehyung’s. They’re both a little desperate by now, the kiss somewhat sloppy and loud, but Jeongguk doesn’t care and Taehyung clearly doesn’t either because the second they part he’s saying, “Fuck me, Jeongguk. Please. Been waiting for ever.”

Jeongguk pulls back, panting, searching for the box of condoms from earlier. He growls when at first he can’t find them, frantic with impatience as he yanks at the sheets. His cock is practically leaking against his thigh, desperate to be inside of Taehyung’s heat, inside of someone for the first time in his life. Finally he finds the box underneath a fold in the blankets, tearing it open before grabbing a condom and ripping the wrapper open.

He’s never actually worn a condom before, but in the heat of the moment he manages to put it on in one slick glide, calling on the knowledge he learnt from the one (one of many) Iron Man MxM smut stories he read a few years ago (actually, it was a few weeks ago, but details). Who ever said fan-fiction can’t be educational?

He shuffles forward, grabbing the bottle of lube. He holds it in his hand, squirting some out and studying the clear liquid in his hand. Then he upends the bottle and practically dumps the entire contents into his palm.

“What the fuck, Jeongguk?” Taehyung gasps. Jeongguk glances up, eyes widening as he takes in Taehyung’s horrified gaze.

“What?” He asks, self-conscious as keeps his palm upward so that the lube doesn’t drip onto the bed any more than it already has.

“How much fucking lube do you think you need to use?”

“You said to triple it!”

Taehyung falters, his brows furrowing as he stares at Jeongguk. “What?”

“You said,” Jeongguk starts, pointing his lube-slicked palm at him accusingly, but carefully, “that when I do this I need to take whatever amount I had and triple it! You said that you can never have too much.”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment before slamming his palm into his forehead, laughing a squeaky laugh before he says, “I was just- It was just a guide. I wasn’t being literal.”

“Well, you should’ve said that,” Jeongguk growls, ears tipped red as he quickly pours the lube in his palm over his cock and then rubbing the excess over Taehyung’s hole. The other is still laughing at him while Jeongguk lines up. He glares at his writhing form and, without much thought for the matter, thrusts into him in one fell swoop.

“Fuck!” Taehyung cries, laughter dying as he seizes up. “What the- fuck, Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk braces himself on his arms, laying over the top of Taehyung and immediately feeling bad for his brash action. “S-sorry,” he stutters out, trying to keep still. “Did I…”

“Fuck,” Taehyung mutters, unclenching and forcing himself to relax. Jeongguk knows because he can feel it around him. “Don’t ever fucking do that again? Got it? You’re lucky you didn’t tear me open.”

Jeongguk would probably pout, would probably even feel like crying if this had happened a few months ago, blaming himself for another awkward, virgin moment. He can’t do any of that though, can’t do anything but shake as he struggles to hold himself up, the heat around his cock overwhelming, even through the condom.

Taehyung’s breathing evens out over time, then his hands snake up over Jeongguk’s chest, wrapping around him until his long fingers trace over the skin of his shoulder-blades.

“Feels good, doesn’t it, baby?” he asks, trailing his fingers up until he’s cupping Jeongguk’s face, making him meet his eyes. Jeongguk just breathes through his nose, trying not to visibly tremble, but Taehyung is already smiling like he knows exactly what he’s going through. “Feeling a little overwhelmed?”

“Feels so… tight,” he answers with a strained voice. He’s worried that they’re about to have a repeat of their earlier incident. The heat is so delectable that Jeongguk fears he’ll come if he even moves one inch.

He always thought that fucking someone would feel a lot like fucking his own hand does, just wetter. He was wrong, so wrong. There’s the heat and the tightness, the constriction around his cock that makes every muscle in his body want to lock up, sure. But more overwhelming that is the sensation that he’s inside Taehyung. He can feel him, he can feel when he shifts, when he twitches his hips just a bit. He can sense how turned on he is when he watches Jeongguk take shaky breaths in and when his hole clenches around him.

Taehyung’s hands tug at his cheeks until he’s pulled him down to meet his lips again. This kiss is even messier than the last one, both of them gasping their ways through it, overwhelmed. This isn’t just sex and it definitely isn’t just a lesson anymore. Taehyung loves Jeongguk and Jeongguk loves Taehyung. It makes the fuckboy inside of Jeongguk want to cringe to admit it, but they’re making love right now. They love each other. Taehyung isn’t going to leave Jeongguk and Jeongguk isn’t going let Taehyung go.

Jeongguk kisses Taehyung as he draws his hips back. They both moan into each other’s mouths as he thrusts forward slowly. Taehyung tips his head back, hands clutching at his shoulders as Jeongguk’s lips fall to his throat. He can’t concentrate on kissing, not with the heat and the tight but he tries his best, trembling lips mouthing at his neck as he pulls back again and Taehyung seems to find his voice.

“That’s- that’s it, baby. God, Jeongguk,” he groans, teeth gritting as Jeongguk moves back forward. “You’re doing so well. Fucking- feels so good. You feel so good inside of me.”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whines into his shoulder. The arousal starts to get to him, starts to cloud his mind. He starts thrusting faster, chasing the constricting warmth. The sound of his thighs slapping against Taehyung's goes straight to his head and he bites his lip as he fucks him. He’s doing it, he’s fucking somebody, he’s fucking Taehyung.

He gets a bit too overzealous, thrusts starting to lose their rhythm as he attempts to speed up. Taehyung is still moaning, but then one particularly sloppy thrust ends up missing the mark, Jeongguk pulling out too far and slipping out of Taehyung’s hole. It takes him a second to catch up, the momentum carrying him forward as his cock rubs up against Taehyung’s harshly. The other flinches and Jeongguk immediately feels his ears burning as he leans back, one hand reaching down to help guide his cock back toward his hole.

“S-sorry,” he mutters, swallowing, but Taehyung’s hand cups his cheek.

“It’s okay, Guk. That happens. You’re doing great. Fucking me so fucking well. I’m already hard and ready to come again.” He gestures down to his cock, sitting against his belly and leaking onto his soft stomach and somehow looking like it belongs on a pedestal in the Louvre. “Look at that, baby. You did that to me.”

Jeongguk lets Taehyung’s encouraging words flow through him, biting down the embarrassment in his chest as he starts thrusting again, slower now, taking his time. This isn’t about learning how to make his partner come as quickly and as efficiently as he possibly can. This isn’t about learning anything. This is about the two of them melding together, their bodies intermingling, their souls bound together as Jeongguk’s sweat beads down his neck onto his chest, as Taehyung’s shaking hands claw crescent-shaped marks into his back, as the bed creaks and squeaks underneath them. This is the end of their past and the beginning of their future.

“I love you,” Jeongguk mutters, kissing Taehyung’s pec and clutching hard at the sheets. “I love you, Taehyung.”

“I love you,” Taehyung says back, deep voice cracking and Jeongguk glances up to see his eyes blurred with tears. He’s got a queasy smile on his face, his cheeks flushed. “Roll over.”

Jeongguk can barely process the sudden request, but Taehyung is way ahead of him, pushing at his chest, forcing him to turn. They both whimper when the movement has Jeongguk slipping out of him, but Taehyung is quick to get on top of Jeongguk’s thighs, straddling him. He clutches onto Jeongguk’s shoulders as he sits up on the edge of the mattress, turning back so that he can line himself up, moaning as he seats himself on Jeongguk’s cock and slides all the way down.

“Fuckin' shit,” he hisses, eyes closed. Jeongguk decides immediately that he loves this position, watching Taehyung’s gorgeous face as it scrunches up in pleasure, watching as his eyes open with a suspiciously mischievous glint shining in them. He can only observe, curious as the man leans forward until his chin is tucked on Jeongguk’s shoulder, his fingers sliding down his back, down to the cleft of his ass, making him jump as he slips down in-between his cheeks, rubbing at his hole that’s still slick with lube and come.

“What- What are you-”

“Poor baby,” Taehyung interrupts. Jeongguk can’t see his face anymore as he stretches down, his finger rubbing circles over his hole. “Got left without being fucked properly. I bet your little hole feels so empty now, doesn’t it?”

“T-Tae,” Jeongguk gasps as two fingers breach his hole suddenly, hooked so Taehyung can get them in as far as possible. It's evidently not far with the position that they're in, but far enough for Jeongguk’s back to arch as he immediately realises that, yes, he does feel empty. The feeling of the digits rubbing along his entrance plus Taehyung’s hot hole squeezing around him almost undoes him, but then Taehyung pulls his hand back and suddenly leans over to the side, reaching out for the backpack he’d dumped by the bed.

“I was going to save this for another time,” he speaks, pulling a black something out of the bag and Jeongguk’s heart jumps. “A little birthday present or something someday. You can consider this a little apology for me losing control earlier.”

Jeongguk furrows his brow, hand shooting out to clutch at Taehyung’s wrist, momentarily ignoring the familiar item held in his hand.

“You don’t need to apologise for anything you idiot. You’re human now. You’re not perfect anymore and that’s perfectly okay. Stop beating yourself up, okay?” He pauses at the way Taehyung’s eyes flash, a small smile creeping onto his face as he continues, “That’s supposed to be my thing.”

Taehyung grins, nodding as he reaches for the lube.

“I got it. Thank you, Jeongguk." He gives him a quick peck on the lips before leaning back, holding up the item. "You recognise this?” He asks. Jeongguk grimaces, mind returning to the subject at hand.

He tentatively pulls it out of Taehyung’s large hands, frowning at it.

“This is… a prostate massager?”

“Good boy!” Taehyung looks proud as he grabs it back, flicking the lube open once again and squirting some onto it. “I bought it in the hopes we’d be using it together. I’m glad things worked out that way. Sex toys are more fun together.”

“Tae, I don’t want a sex toy,” Jeongguk tries to say even as Taehyung reaches around him.

“That’s because you’ve never used one. Lean forward.”

Jeongguk has not once won against Taehyung and it doesn’t look like he’s about to start doing so.

It’s awkward, Taehyung trying to stay firmly seated on his cock as Jeongguk reluctantly and blushingly leans forward. He ends up wrapping his arms around the man's middle to hold him steady. Taehyung takes a few tries before he manages to work the toy into Jeongguk.

It’s nowhere near as good as Taehyung’s cock is, barely even as nice as his fingers are, but Jeongguk figures that with a name like prostate massager it’s got more features than just curving weirdly into his ass. Taehyung looks excited as he gets it into place, leaning back and grinning at Jeongguk as he waves something that’s the same ebony black as the toy, but smaller. Jeongguk figures it’s a remote, especially when Taehyung presses something on it and it springs to life inside of him.

Jeongguk flinches on the spot, cock thrusting up into Taehyung entirely by accident. A happy accident, that is, one that leaves Taehyung moaning in surprise.

“Tae,” Jeongguk breathes out, feeling oddly violated as the head of the toy rotates inside of him. It’s notably different to Taehyung’s fingers, a recognisably robotic feel to its movements, but Jeongguk can’t deny that it’s doing something to him, feeling the familiar pressure gradually building, a ball of tension in his lower groin.

“Lay back on the bed,” Taehyung instructs, pushing at his chest. “Gonna fuck myself on your pretty cock until we both come.”

Who is Jeongguk to say no to that?

Taehyung barely waits for his head to hit the sheets, bracing two hands on Jeongguk’s biceps, fingers gripping his skin as he pushes his knees up. Once he’s comfortable, he raises his hips, lifting until Jeongguk’s cock is just barely inside of him. Then he slowly lowers back down and they both groan in unison, different pitches to their voice. Jeongguk’s is more strained as the toy relentlessly works at his insides, his mind overwhelmed and his usual self-consciousness completely destroyed as the pleasure overtakes him. Taehyung’s is higher pitched as Jeongguk’s cock winds him, as he lifts himself again and looks as though he’s visibly fighting to keep his eyes from rolling to the back of his head as he thrusts back down.

“You alright, Guk?” he asks, fingers twitching over his muscled arms. “It’s not too much?”

Jeongguk just shakes his head because it is too much, but there’s no way he wants this to stop. Not when Taehyung starts fucking himself on his cock properly, working up a steady rhythm that has Jeongguk squirming underneath him.  

They’ve been at this for a while now, and with the toy inside of Jeongguk driving both of them crazy in different ways, the two of them are close to the edge and they both know it. Taehyung’s got sweat shining on his brow as he pants, as his stomach clenches inward, as he fights to keep a steady rhythm, ass tight around Jeongguk with each downward thrust.

Jeongguk wonders if he’d look as flawless as Taehyung does if he was the one doing the riding. Or would he look completely wrecked the way he knows Taehyung likes him to? The thought makes him want to try it out, makes him want to try everything. He wants to switch places, wants to be the one controlling the toy as Taehyung has it inside of him. He wants to ride Taehyung, have him fuck Jeongguk until he’s within an inch of his life, until he can’t remember his own name. He wants to try every position he knows and every position he’s never heard of, wants Taehyung to fuck his face until he’s drooling, wants to eat Taehyung out and make him cry because he feels so good.

He wants to do all of it and he realises as he watches Taehyung panting and moaning through parted lips that they can do all of it, that they will. They may not have eternity, but they’ve got the rest of their lives to do everything together. They can do everything and more. Maybe they won’t make it till they’re 80. Maybe they won’t even make it until Jeongguk finishes college. Maybe Taehyung will grow tired of Jeongguk and his constant self-hatred, his painfully shy ways.

Maybe, but maybe they will make it.

Maybe Jeongguk will become someone who loves himself completely and maybe he’ll convince Taehyung to love his new self in the process. Maybe they’ll be the pillars to support each other as they both explore the world together. Maybe Jeongguk will take Taehyung all over the world, showing him life and living it with him. Maybe they’ll grow old together and die together and maybe, just maybe, there will be a day when Jeongguk will stop worrying about what may be and will know that all that matters is right now, loving Taehyung and being loved.

It is with this in mind that Jeongguk comes, the orgasm hitting him out of nowhere as he tries to tell Taehyung how much he loves him and can’t manage to get the words out, moaning endlessly as the coiled tension in his groin releases and spreads through his whole body and all he ends up saying is, “Taehyung,” over and over as he jerks his hips upward and clenches his eyes closed and misses the sickeningly blatant look of love that Taehyung is giving him as he watches him lose himself beneath him.

The prostate massager doesn’t stop, rotating movements keeping Jeongguk’s cock spurting fluid out into the condom in continuous bursts. The sensation is maddening, totally overwhelming, but Jeongguk still finds it in himself to reach up, to grab Taehyung’s jaw and cup his cheeks as he leans down over Jeongguk, arms shaking from holding himself up. He pulls their lips together, keeping them connected even as he whispers, “Come for me, Tae,” and wraps his hand around his cock, tugging it once, twice, thrice and then holding Taehyung steady as he shakes apart in his arms, rhythmically clenching around his overly sensitive cock.

They melt into the sheets, laying beside one another. Jeongguk is boneless as Taehyung pulls the toy out of him and tosses it aside, completely devoid of energy and not even able to bring himself to feel embarrassed as the elder man pulls the condom off for him, tying it and throwing it towards the small bin underneath his desk. There’s a wet slap as it hits the floor, Jeongguk opening one eye with a grimace as he stares at where it just barely missed the mark.

Taehyung laughs in his ear, folding over the top of him. Jeongguk finds himself laughing as well.

“Get it in the morning,” he mumbles, eyes closing again.

“Jeongguk, it’s lunch time.”

“Sleep time,” is all Jeongguk says back.

“You’re not even the one who got fucked. Where’s my aftercare?”

Jeongguk reaches behind him blindly, hand hitting Taehyung’s forehead and pushing him down to the bed.

“Shush,” he drones, bordering on slurring. “Sleep.”

He falls asleep to Taehyung’s deep voice singing in his ear, a light and heavenly tune that warms his heart.

 

--

 

Jeongguk wakes up to a dark room and a cold bed. There’s a sickening moment, three seconds that seem to stretch on for eternity as his eyes fly open, as he sits up and fights the nausea that rises up inside of him, heart racing, tears springing to his eyes in an instant.

“Tae?” he whimpers.

Not again. I can’t do it again.

“Shush,” comes a deep voice to his left. Jeongguk turns his head right as Taehyung reaches out, fingers finding his hair in the darkness. The light of Jeongguk's laptop where it's still sitting open at his desk gives his silhouette a soft glow as he pulls Jeongguk into his chest, crawling into the bed beside him. He pulls the sheets up over them, cuddling Jeongguk close. “Shush, baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere ever again, I promise.”

“Fuck,” Jeongguk mutters, choked up. “You- you promise?”

“I promise,” Taehyung says as he kisses his cheek. Jeongguk collapses into his side, the dying adrenaline rush leaving him with a headache. Taehyung pulls back. Even in the dark Jeongguk can make out his cheeky grin and he immediately shakes his head.

“Don’t say it.”

“Aw,” he says, pouting against Jeongguk’s temple as his fingers brush through his hair. “Please? I swear that it’s a good one.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No, Tae.”

“…I’ll eat you out afterwards.”

A lingering pause, then a deep sigh.

“Fine,” Jeongguk answers in a clipped tone. Taehyung snickers, then clears his throat.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jeongguk,” he repeats, tone overly sincere. “You’d have to make a deal with the devil to get rid of me.”

Jeongguk pushes him out of the bed.