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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Hatshipping
Stats:
Published:
2019-04-27
Completed:
2020-01-19
Words:
38,901
Chapters:
30/30
Comments:
146
Kudos:
66
Bookmarks:
11
Hits:
2,254

Hatshipping Vol. I

Summary:

I have unleashed the ultimate chaos upon the world. Yu-Gi-Oh fandom, I introduce you to Hat-kami! Characters thrown at random (literally random. It could not get MORE random) at each other! What more could you want? In other words, a collection of crackshippy oneshots. Pairings will be added as I go!

Notes:

Hey, Fanfiction.net has this rule where you can't have chapters purely dedicated to author's notes, so I made a clever work around. It still has a lot of relevant information, so I am still going to post it on here.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Chapter Text

The Beginning

 

The reader steps into a dimly lit room. All about, candles flicker softly and cast their warm glow across the stone walls. Draconicmaw kneels before a candlelit altar, upon which perched a beaten, well-worn hat.

“Grant me entertaining ships, O Great and Powerful and Wise Hat-kami. I make offerings of bits of paper, all with Yu-Gi-Oh! characters inscribed upon them.”

The reader makes a small grunt, a clearing of the throat.

Draconicmaw looks over her shoulder. “Oh, you’ve arrived. I didn’t think anyone would show, to be honest. The character tags on this are… weird. Atypical pairings… though that’s an understatement.” She stands up and brushes the dust and the dirt off of her knees. “You’re probably wondering what’s going on.”

The reader nods.

“Well, you see, this website has a rule against chapters that are devoted purely for the purpose of author’s notes, so I playfully formulate my messages to the reader in a narrative story-telling format.” She gestures to the room around her. “Like this.” She jumps once in place. “And this.”

The reader blinks.

“Annnyways, there is no ship called Hatshipping. At least, I don’t think there is.” She taps her chin. “But, it is a thing now. It’s kind of my thing. I did it for the Fairy Tail fandom with my friend Marie Raven, although that is now on seemingly permanent hiatus.” She shrugs. “It’s whatever.” She adjusts her glasses and carefully lifts the hat off the altar. “This is Hat-kami.” She gingerly steps across the stone floor.

She hold the hat up to the reader. It has bits of paper folded up in it.

“Those bits of paper have names written on them. Names of Yu-Gi-Oh! characters.” She guides you to a seat. “Please, hold Hat-kami for me. But, be careful. He can be temperamental.”

The reader delicately cradles Hat-kami in cupped palms. Draconicmaw plucks a piece of paper out. She unfolds it. “Duke Devlin. Or Otogi whatever-the-crap-his-name-is.” She carefully sets the piece aside. She takes another out. “Ishizu Ishtar.” She smiles at the reader. “Jadeshipping.” She tosses the pieces back into the hat after refolding them. “So, basically, Hat-kami decides who is paired with who. Then, I write the pairings down. I put the pairings on bits of paper and replace the names with them. Then, Hat-kami decides the order of the chapters.”

She waves a paper around. It has poor handwriting on it in some sort of a list.

“It’s all up to chance. Or Hat-kami. Whatever you think is funnier. Same thing, really. Some of these pairings are pretty cracky. Some are not. It’s hard to get really cracky pairings, simply because this fandom is not afraid to pair everyone with everyone else.” She tilts her head to the side. “Though I’ve had to invent a few ship names already just from the first fourteen pairings.” She shrugs again. “They might already have names and I just couldn’t find it.”

“Please let me know if my ship names are wrong, or if there is already a ship name for a pairing that I thought I had to name myself.

“You, as the reader, may request ONE CHARACTER in a chapter. Hat-kami will decide the rest. Note, if you request TWO CHARACTERS, Hat-kami and I will pick a third person to slap on. I will do a maximum of three characters in a ship.

“It is inevitable that there will be an overwhelming amount of guy-on-guy ships. The males far outweigh the females in this fandom. That being said, I may also genderbend from time to time. I know that that is a little taboo in this fandom (at least on some hemispheres of ffn, it is), but I really don’t give a crap about our societal norms.

“No weird incest stuff. I’m not into writing that crap, reading that crap, none of that crap.

“Some characters have not been added into the hat yet. I will add them if they are requested, or when I feel like I am ready to write that character.

“There is the distinct possibility that characters may be removed from the hat. Such as Arkana/Pandora. He’s in there. I thought it would be funny. But now I realize that I actually don’t want to write him. At all. But he will be present for at least one pairing.

“The rating of this collection might go up. I am not afraid to slap some lemons and limes in here. I am that insane. You may get to see some crazy shit.

“These will vary in length between short-shorts (drabbles) to mid-length to long oneshots. As far as I am concerned, there will not be sequels unless Hat-kami repeats a pairing. Also, these stories are unconnected unless otherwise stated in the stories themselves.

“This is actually one of my lowest priorities right now. DaD and MotG come first. Sorry. At least these aren’t too much of a commitment for you, as the reader.”

Draconicmaw adjusts her glasses. “I think that’s all I have to say so far.” She smacks her forehead. “Oh yeah! The first fourteen pairings have already been decided. If you request a character that’s in one of those pairings, it will simply shift forward on the roster.”

The reader blinks at her.

“Yeah, I know that was a lot to take in. Anywho, l hope you enjoy Hatshipping!”

Next up: Jadeshipping (Duke Devlin x Ishizu Ishtar)