My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let her out she'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
Most people failed to notice the 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide wall Franky Doyle had built up around her in order to protect herself from everything and everyone. A selfdefense mechanism to protect her body from abuse, beatings and physical pain. A wall to protect her brain and mind from the verbal abuse, the psychological abuse from her enemies, her mum - eh what the hell, even from herself because god knows how much she loathed herself sometimes. But most of all she had built the wall to protect her heart. Protect her heart from another devastating heartbreak, like the one her father had given her when he never returned back home that night, or any other night for that matter. Up until she turned 7, Alan Doyle had been Francescas greatest love. There was nothing in this world that could even compare to the love and bond they had shared and maybe that is why the wall was built, she couldn't know for sure. It could have been the daily abuse from her mother, the cigarette burns or the inappropriate touching of her young and fragile body. It could have been the moving around to different foster homes where she was never wanted or loved or was it the many fights she got herself into? The world was an evil place and so was the dickheads living in it. She hated everyone and she hated herself so much that she got rid of Francesca Doyle and replaced her with Franky Doyle. Franky Doyle was no sweet little daddys girl. Franky Doyle was a badass criminal, a tough pretty lesbian woman with badass tattoos and no heart. Franky Doyle screwed her way through Melbourne leaving every girl she fucked wanting more. She became the girl who fights rather than talk, the girl who's wit and smooth talk can make you do everything she wants you to do. Don't let her green eyes and cute dimples fool you, if you poke the monster, the monster will appear and she will fuck with you. She's the person who can make you feel everything but you cant make her feel anything, you want to give up everything to be with her but you get nothing back, not even the tiniest straw. She can be so charming that you will fall in love with her, give her your heart but you would never ever get close to hers. Franky had built her wall for a reason, to protect herself. You can not be hurt if you hurt them first. You can not loose someone if you never let them in. You can not be heartbroken if you never love.
Luckily for Franky, Bridget Westfall wasn't most people. Bridget Westfall was a forty year old independent self confident woman who had her shit together in all aspects of her life. She worked as a psychologist and had done so for nearly 20 years, 15 of them had been in the maximum secured women prison Wentworth. So she knew bullshit when she saw it. Bridget loved her work, her family and friends had taken it so far that they had started to joke about it, that Bridget's girlfriends left because Bridget was married to her job, they didn't want to compete for Bridget's undivided love. Bridget didn't mind one bit, she loved what she did and to be honest, her latest girlfriend was a snob who thought she was better then everyone else, Bridget had no time or energy for that. She loved being single and didn't want to settle with someone just for the sake of it. As long as she had a good book and wine to come home to she couldn't complain.
The first time Bridget met Franky was in one of her free group sessions she held twice a week down at the old and now closed mental institute. She had stormed in late wanting to talk to her friend Boomer who was a frequent visitor in Bridget's sessions, her name was actually Sue but she hated it, hated it so much that if you called her by her given name she would punch your tits in, and not it the nice way. She had told Boomer to come with her but Boomer had declined, currently still not over their fight that had happened the weekend before. Bridget had asked her to stay and join them, fuck no was the response and then she was out of the door as fast as she had entered. In the days to come she found herself thinking more and more about the angry feisty brunette who had stomped in and interrupted her session, she was intrigued and not only in her story and what laid underneath it all, but in her. She couldn't deny that she had been beautiful, her green eyes and brown hair that was up in a messy bun. Honestly, if she thought hard on their first meeting she could swear her heart skipped a beat, there was something with this woman that pulled a little harder on her heart string. Fast forward two weeks and Bridget had been more then surprised when she saw Boomer walk in with the beautiful brunette to attend her session. During the hour long session she couldn't help but steal quick glances towards the brunette and she felt her cheeks turn a bright shade of pink when it turned out that her gaze was met, to be honest, those green eyes made Bridget's core ache with want. That together with the cheekiest smile she has ever seen AND dimples to die for, she wouldn't even be embarrassed to jump her right her right now. Get yourself together Bridget.
A month later and Franky had been to all of Bridget's Thursday sessions. She hadn't talked much, but she was by far, in Bridget's mind anyway, the most exciting captivating person there. When she talked, it was mostly flirty comments, mostly towards Bridget, trying to get a reaction, push and pull, to see if Bridget liked to play. Bridget could have, she was that intrigued, but the professional in her had the upper hand, thinking there was a time and place for everything. Bridget wanted to know more though, not just more - everything, but Franky was like a closed book when she couldn't hide behind her flirtatious bravado, and when the sessions were over, when Bridget actually had time to approach her one on one, Franky was usually already out of the door and on her way to her next place, and that made it really hard for Bridget to get to know her.
Franky had never in her life, not even the tiniest piece of her, liked psychologist and their know it all style, and she had been set up to talk to a lot of them. All talk she would say. ’Talk to me, what are you feeling, why are you feeling like that, I can help you. Piss the fuck off!’ In spite of that she found herself, the last couple of weeks, attending regular group sessions, where everyone talked and talked and talked. They didn't even talk about anything fun, it was emotions here - emotions there, addiction, feelings. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. It took a while for her to understand why she kept coming back to these sessions and it was most certainly not to talk. It was a strange feeling for her, to be surrounded by so many people she had nothing in common with, people she didn't give a shit about -idiots, and she felt so damn uncomfortable and so out of place. But at the same time, as those piercing blue eyes kept coming back to her - checking her out, studying her (in a nice way) she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. There was something with this psychologist that made Franky's heart pound so god damn hard. Maybe it was the way she talked, the calm soothing voice that spoke so wisely, like she actually knew everything, like she had really gone through all the shit the world could offer. Maybe it was her ocean blue eyes, eyes that speaks louder than words, that tells you the truth just by looking at them. Could also have been her beautiful kind inviting smile, or the way she wrinkled her nose when she was trying to hide a yawn, or the way she was biting her lip when she was thinking about what to say next. Who the fuck knows, Franky surely didn't, and it made her so confused.
Another 3 weeks has passed and Franky was still showing up every Thursday evening, rapidly becoming Bridget's most frequent participant, in attendance anyway, she still hadn't shared or participated in any discussion. Bridget wasn't a beginner, she knew how most people worked, a quality she discovered in early age, the ability to read people like no one else and it was as clear as the sun that something troubled the beautiful brunette. She could actually see the wall around her and she just wished that one day she would be able to peek inside, to see the real Franky, and hopefully find a crack somewhere, so she could slowly slowly start to tear the wall down, one brick at a time. Easy there Bridget, thread slowly with this one.
’Hey hot stuff’ The voice belonged to a short asian girl, sitting opposite of Franky, eyes strictly on her, like she was trying to see into her black soul. She was dirty, thin and clearly high on some substance. She had been here a couple of times and Franky recognised her, she had been staring a lot at her every time she was there.
’You wanna fuck?’ she said and pointed towards Franky. Franky ignored her.
’Do you know how to talk or you're just a retard?’ She said trying to interact with Franky but Franky gives nothing back as usual, not the first time she's found herself in this kind of situation. Franky doesn't give a shit about her on anyone, she doesn't want to talk, especially not to the dumb drug addict.
’Its fine with me if you cant, but I sure as hell want that mouth of yours on me, licking..’
’Thats enough’ Bridget snapped. ’If you are just here to talk shit get out of here now. NOW!’ she said walking a few feet so she was standing in front of her, her arm pointing to the exit door. No way in hell she would allow this kind of talk. This was supposed to be a support group for people who needed help, who wanted a safe place to ventilate their feelings and experiences. She would not tolerate this kind of language and insults and she most definitely wouldn't accept someone to treat Franky like that, or no-one else for that matter.
As usual Franky was out of the door before Bridget had time to seek her out after her session. Sighing loudly she started to put the chairs away and doing a quick clean up before heading back home to a dark and empty house and stress down with a glass of wine or two. You live such a rockstar life she thought and chuckled.
Zipping up her winter coat, Bridget locked the door to the old rusty institute and started the two minute walk to her car. It was a cold evening, the kind of cold that pierce through your skin and reach into your bones, that makes your face so cold you cant feel it after a while, it didn't help that it had started to rain as well. She was half walking, half running, oh god she hated to run, but in extreme conditions you do crazy things she muttered to herself. Putting the key in the car door she was suddenly startled by a low voice saying thank you.
Franky had waited and waited. Waiting for Bridget to come out so she could giver her a proper thank you. Franky hadn't really given two shits about the things that dumb girl had said to her, she had shrugged it off like she always does, it wasn't about that, it wasn't about that at all. It was the fact that Bridget had stood up for her without even really know her. She had fought her side when no one else did, and had done so without wanting and needing anything in return. Even if it was just a small thing, it mattered, it mattered to Franky and she wanted to thank her.
Bridget should have been scared of the fact that someone hanging around in an almost empty car park in the middle of nowhere waiting for her, but she wasn't. How could she be scared of something that sounded so beautiful, so honest, so fragile. When she turned around she was surprised to see Franky standing a couple feet away, she could never have guessed the fragile voice belonged to the though and flirty brunette. She was also surprised, a thank you, what for?
It wasn't like she had done anything extraordinary, it was just a human thing everyone should do and would do when someone is not treated right, be kind to one another.
’Thought you left ages ago, you're usually not the one to stick around here for more then you have to’ Bridget said when her eyes had settled in the dark, focusing on Franky's figure at first, then slowly roaming her eyes upwards until she met green, she was mesmerised of the beauty in front of her.
’Thank you for what you did’ Franky said, her hand had somehow magically sneaked up to gently caress Bridget's cheek. ’It means a lot’ she continued and before Bridget had time to blink she felt soft lips on her own. She would have lied if she said she hadn't thought about this, kissing Franky, and my oh my those thoughts had been hot, but truth be told, those thoughts held nothing against the real life Franky. Wow, just wow. She didn't have time to wrap her head around what was happening before those beautiful lips where gone from hers, and so was Franky. Bridget didn't have time to stop her, her body trapped in some kind of shock. Her head was spinning, her heart pounding in her chest and she could only watch Franky disappear further into the dark. The cold didn't bother her anymore, her body felt like it was on fucking fire. What just happened?