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Behind the wall

Chapter Text

 

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let her out she'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

 

 

Most people failed to notice the 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide wall Franky Doyle had built up around her in order to protect herself from everything and everyone. A selfdefense mechanism to protect her body from abuse, beatings and physical pain. A wall to protect her brain and mind from the verbal abuse, the psychological abuse from her enemies, her mum - eh what the hell, even from herself because god knows how much she loathed herself sometimes. But most of all she had built the wall to protect her heart. Protect her heart from another devastating heartbreak, like the one her father had given her when he never returned back home that night, or any other night for that matter. Up until she turned 7, Alan Doyle had been Francescas greatest love. There was nothing in this world that could even compare to the love and bond they had shared and maybe that is why the wall was built, she couldn't know for sure. It could have been the daily abuse from her mother, the cigarette burns or the inappropriate touching of her young and fragile body. It could have been the moving around to different foster homes where she was never wanted or loved or was it the many fights she got herself into? The world was an evil place and so was the dickheads living in it. She hated everyone and she hated herself so much that she got rid of Francesca Doyle and replaced her with Franky Doyle. Franky Doyle was no sweet little daddys girl. Franky Doyle was a badass criminal, a tough pretty lesbian woman with badass tattoos and no heart. Franky Doyle screwed her way through Melbourne leaving every girl she fucked wanting more. She became the girl who fights rather than talk, the girl who's wit and smooth talk can make you do everything she wants you to do. Don't let her green eyes and cute dimples fool you, if you poke the monster, the monster will appear and she will fuck with you. She's the person who can make you feel everything but you cant make her feel anything, you want to give up everything to be with her but you get nothing back, not even the tiniest straw. She can be so charming that you will fall in love with her, give her your heart but you would never ever get close to hers. Franky had built her wall for a reason, to protect herself. You can not be hurt if you hurt them first. You can not loose someone if you never let them in. You can not be heartbroken if you never love.

 

 

Luckily for Franky, Bridget Westfall wasn't most people. Bridget Westfall was a forty year old independent self confident woman who had her shit together in all aspects of her life. She worked as a psychologist and had done so for nearly 20 years, 15 of them had been in the maximum secured women prison Wentworth. So she knew bullshit when she saw it. Bridget loved her work, her family and friends had taken it so far that they had started to joke about it, that Bridget's girlfriends left because Bridget was married to her job, they didn't want to compete for Bridget's undivided love. Bridget didn't mind one bit, she loved what she did and to be honest, her latest girlfriend was a snob who thought she was better then everyone else, Bridget had no time or energy for that. She loved being single and didn't want to settle with someone just for the sake of it. As long as she had a good book and wine to come home to she couldn't complain.

 

 

The first time Bridget met Franky was in one of her free group sessions she held twice a week down at the old and now closed mental institute. She had stormed in late wanting to talk to her friend Boomer who was a frequent visitor in Bridget's sessions, her name was actually Sue but she hated it, hated it so much that if you called her by her given name she would punch your tits in, and not it the nice way. She had told Boomer to come with her but Boomer had declined, currently still not over their fight that had happened the weekend before. Bridget had asked her to stay and join them, fuck no was the response and then she was out of the door as fast as she had entered. In the days to come she found herself thinking more and more about the angry feisty brunette who had stomped in and interrupted her session, she was intrigued and not only in her story and what laid underneath it all, but in her. She couldn't deny that she had been beautiful, her green eyes and brown hair that was up in a messy bun. Honestly, if she thought hard on their first meeting she could swear her heart skipped a beat, there was something with this woman that pulled a little harder on her heart string. Fast forward two weeks and Bridget had been more then surprised when she saw Boomer walk in with the beautiful brunette to attend her session. During the hour long session she couldn't help but steal quick glances towards the brunette and she felt her cheeks turn a bright shade of pink when it turned out that her gaze was met, to be honest, those green eyes made Bridget's core ache with want. That together with the cheekiest smile she has ever seen AND dimples to die for, she wouldn't even be embarrassed to jump her right her right now. Get yourself together Bridget.

 

A month later and Franky had been to all of Bridget's Thursday sessions. She hadn't talked much, but she was by far, in Bridget's mind anyway, the most exciting captivating person there. When she talked, it was mostly flirty comments, mostly towards Bridget, trying to get a reaction, push and pull, to see if Bridget liked to play. Bridget could have, she was that intrigued, but the professional in her had the upper hand, thinking there was a time and place for everything. Bridget wanted to know more though, not just more - everything, but Franky was like a  closed book when she couldn't hide behind her flirtatious bravado, and when the sessions were over, when Bridget actually had time to approach her one on one, Franky was usually already out of the door and on her way to her next place, and that made it really hard for Bridget to get to know her.

 

Franky had never in her life, not even the tiniest piece of her, liked psychologist and their know it all style, and she had been set up to talk to a lot of them. All talk she would say. ’Talk to me, what are you feeling, why are you feeling like that, I can help you. Piss the fuck off!’ In spite of that she found herself, the last couple of weeks, attending regular group sessions, where everyone talked and talked and talked. They didn't even talk about anything fun, it was emotions here - emotions there, addiction, feelings. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. It took a while for her to understand why she kept coming back to these sessions and it was most certainly not to talk. It was a strange feeling for her, to be surrounded by so many people she had nothing in common with, people she didn't give a shit about -idiots, and she felt so damn uncomfortable and so out of place. But at the same time, as those piercing blue eyes kept coming back to her - checking her out, studying her (in a nice way) she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. There was something with this psychologist that made Franky's heart pound so god damn hard. Maybe it was the way she talked, the calm soothing voice that spoke so wisely, like she actually knew everything, like she had really gone through all the shit the world could offer. Maybe it was her ocean blue eyes, eyes that speaks louder than words, that tells you the truth just by looking at them. Could also have been her beautiful kind inviting smile, or the way she wrinkled her nose when she was trying to hide a yawn, or the way she was biting her lip when she was thinking about what to say next. Who the fuck knows, Franky surely didn't, and it made her so confused. 

 

 

Another 3 weeks has passed and Franky was still showing up every Thursday evening, rapidly becoming Bridget's most frequent participant, in attendance anyway, she still hadn't shared or participated in any discussion. Bridget wasn't a beginner, she knew how most people worked, a quality she discovered in early age, the ability to read people like no one else and it was as clear as the sun that something troubled the beautiful brunette. She could actually see the wall around her and she just wished that one day she would be able to peek inside, to see the real Franky, and hopefully find a crack somewhere, so she could slowly slowly start to tear the wall down, one brick at a time. Easy there Bridget, thread slowly with this one.

 

’Hey hot stuff’ The voice belonged to a short asian girl, sitting opposite of Franky, eyes strictly on her, like she was trying to see into her black soul. She was dirty, thin and clearly high on some substance. She had been here a couple of times and Franky recognised her, she had been staring a lot at her every time she was there.

’You wanna fuck?’ she said and pointed towards Franky. Franky ignored her.

’Do you know how to talk or you're just a retard?’ She said trying to interact with Franky but Franky gives nothing back as usual, not the first time she's found herself in this kind of situation. Franky doesn't give a shit about her on anyone, she doesn't want to talk, especially not to the dumb drug addict.

’Its fine with me if you cant, but I sure as hell want that mouth of yours on me, licking..’

’Thats enough’ Bridget snapped. ’If you are just here to talk shit get out of here now. NOW!’ she said walking a few feet so she was standing in front of her, her arm pointing to the exit door. No way in hell she would allow this kind of talk. This was supposed to be a support group for people who needed help, who wanted a safe place to ventilate their feelings and experiences. She would not tolerate this kind of language and insults and she most definitely wouldn't accept someone to treat Franky like that, or no-one else for that matter.  

As usual Franky was out of the door before Bridget had time to seek her out after her session. Sighing loudly she started to put the chairs away and doing a quick clean up before heading back home to a dark and empty house and stress down with a glass of wine or two. You live such a rockstar life she thought and chuckled.

Zipping up her winter coat, Bridget locked the door to the old rusty institute and started the two minute walk to her car. It was a cold evening, the kind of cold that pierce through your skin and reach into your bones, that makes your face so cold you cant feel it after a while, it didn't help that it had started to rain as well. She was half walking, half running, oh god she hated to run, but in extreme conditions you do crazy things she muttered to herself. Putting the key in the car door she was suddenly startled by a low voice saying thank you. 

 

 

Franky had waited and waited. Waiting for Bridget to come out so she could giver her a proper thank you. Franky hadn't really given two shits about the things that dumb girl had said to her, she had shrugged it off like she always does, it wasn't about that, it wasn't about that at all. It was the fact that Bridget had stood up for her without even really know her. She had fought her side when no one else did, and had done so without wanting and needing anything in return. Even if it was just a small thing, it mattered, it mattered to Franky and she wanted to thank her.

Bridget should have been scared of the fact that someone hanging around in an almost empty car park in the middle of nowhere waiting for her, but she wasn't. How could she be scared of something that sounded so beautiful, so honest, so fragile. When she turned around she was surprised to see Franky standing a couple feet away, she could never have guessed the fragile voice belonged to the though and flirty brunette. She was also surprised, a thank you, what for? 

It wasn't like she had done anything extraordinary, it was just a human thing everyone should do and would do when someone is not treated right, be kind to one another.

’Thought you left ages ago, you're usually not the one to stick around here for more then you have to’ Bridget said when her eyes had settled in the dark, focusing on Franky's figure at first, then slowly roaming her eyes upwards until she met green, she was mesmerised of the beauty in front of her.

’Thank you for what you did’ Franky said, her hand had somehow magically sneaked up to gently caress Bridget's cheek. ’It means a lot’ she continued and before Bridget had time to blink she felt soft lips on her own. She would have lied if she said she hadn't thought about this, kissing Franky, and my oh my those thoughts had been hot, but truth be told, those thoughts held nothing against the real life Franky. Wow, just wow. She didn't have time to wrap her head around what was happening before those beautiful lips where gone from hers, and so was Franky. Bridget didn't have time to stop her, her body trapped in some kind of shock. Her head was spinning, her heart pounding in her chest and she could only watch Franky disappear further into the dark. The cold didn't bother her anymore, her body felt like it was on fucking fire. What just happened?

Chapter Text

I don’t believe that anybody 

Feels the way I do about you now

'Cause maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me

 

 

Forget about the heartbreak, the violence, the hate and the anger for a moment and take a closer look behind the front. Franky is really a kind and loving soul. She is smart and articulate - there were few people who could out debate Franky. She is strong, caring and believe it or not - sensitive. During all these years putting up a false facade, she had no other choice then to hide her true feelings, emotions. They were all stored in a box that had been put away, not knowing what and how to deal with them. That didn't mean she didn't feel them from time to time, more so since a certain Bridget Westfall appeared. People always judged Franky beforehand, which was really fucked up, and its so fucking hard to change peoples opinion about you, its like loosing 10-0 before the game even started. People called her violent, but not one word about when she saved a dog who was stuck in a fence. People said she was selfish, and the same people kept their mouth shut when she gave her last dollars to a homeless woman, so she could feed her son. People shouted that she was a criminal but they never saw her volunteer down at the food bank, helping others. Deep inside Franky was a good person, people was just to stuck up their own ass to realise, and unfortunately so was Franky. If you're being your worst self, it’s so much easier to take the fall, the punch, the rejection. People have already made up their minds about you and it doesn't matter if you save the world because they will never accept you, they will never change their minds about you. You know that, and the glimmer of hope and dreams you have stored deep inside, kept them safe for the day you felt comfortable enough to let them out, are slowly rotting away. There is no hope. 

After her totally dumb ass move with Bridget she found herself walking around in circles downtown not really sure on her end destination. After an hour off restless walking she stopped outside a local bar. Over the door was a sign that said ’girls girls girls’, but the light was broken so it only flashed ’gi gi gi’. She had been here before, the bar was old, dirty and on the verge of closing up for good but the booze was cheap and tonight she needed more then a few drinks. The more she drank the more she thought of Bridget. She had been kind to you, she had taken your side. She was hot and you knew she totally checked you out. BUT. BUT. BUT. You are so out of her league. She would never go for you, she’s so much better then you ever deserve, you dumb piece of shit. 

 

 

The drive back to her home was in a total blur. Bridget had no idea how she actually got home in one piece. She didn't know which route she took, if she stopped for pedestrians or traffic lights, fuck she didn't even remember how she opened the garage. For all she knew she could have smashed right through it. But here she was, parked in her garage, her mind on nothing else than olive skin and green eyes. What in the world just happened? 

The psychologist in her had one thousand different theories about what had happened and how she should proceed going forward, but Bridget as a person was at lost. The only thing she could think about was those soft lips against her own. Shaking her head, she grabbed her bag from the passenger seat and walked into her house, she needed a glass of wine, stat.

Sitting on the couch, relaxing after a long day of work, a glass of wine in one hand and her favourite Jane Austen book ’Pride and prejudice’ in the other. She had been on the same page for nearly 30 minutes now, reading, thoughts of Franky, re-reading - Franky - re-reading, Franky, she couldn't focus. 

Franky never showed up the next group session. She didn't turn up the following session and not the one after that either. The psychologist in Bridget wasn't surprised, she had expected it and made her peace with it, knowing that after taking a big step forward sometimes it makes you take 2 steps back, or in Franky's case, 200. It didn't stop Bridget from feeling worried though, worried that Franky was all alone, making decisions she shouldn't have to do or yet, worse, getting involved in something she couldn't get out off. Bridget was surprised at the emptiness she felt without having Franky there, sitting to her left, green eyes checking her out, following her every move, listening carefully at what she had to say. She couldn't pin point exactly what it was that made her so drawn to Franky, obviously she was drop dead gorgeous, but it wasn't that, it went deeper than that, way deeper. They had a connection between them, just what kind of connection they had she had yet  to find out. She strongly believed they met for a reason and she could only hope she would see her again.

 

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Franky missed her Thursday evenings sessions, she missed the subtle way Bridget's ocean blue eyes would glance her way when she didn't think she was watching, they way her nose wrinkled when she was tired and they way her soothing words calmed her down. She was to much of a coward to go back, she couldn't. She had made sure she destroyed things with Bridget before they had even started. Bridget would never choose her or help her with anything. Franky would be damn lucky if she even wanted to talk to her again. When she thought hard about it she wouldn't want her to choose her either because she’ll be pissed with herself if she dragged Bridget down with her in her mess. Bridget didn't deserve her shit. Bridget is a good person, I'm not - end of discussion. That didn't mean Franky was going to stay away from Bridget altogether. She didn't know how or why, but since that first meeting with the beautiful blonde, she felt something, something deep inside of her, something not even her wall could protect her against. It was like something awoke within her. She would find her ways to keep an eye on Bridget, to watch her, watch over her, protect her from a safe distance.

 

 

The weeks passed painfully slow and still no sign of Franky. Bridget had started to give up on the idea of ever seeing Franky again. She couldn't understand why it bothered her so much, they had barely spoken 2 sentence to each other, but it still felt like she had just gone through a tough break up. Probably time to move on Bridget, don't fret on something you never had. She had finished her 7th session without Franky and was on her way to her car when someone out of nowhere jumped her, wanting to steal her handbag. Bridget might be tiny, but she took care of her body, and the perpetrator was somewhat taken aback by how strong she really was. He had to fight a lot more then he intended to, Bridget determined to hold on to her bag. Bridget tried to kick him off but her 3 inch heel snapped in two and she lost her footing making the perpetrator get that extra space to connect his elbow to her cheek and then a fist to her face. Bridget screamed out in pain and fell to the ground. She could feel the blood dripping, a cut just right under her eye and she most certainly also had a cracked eyebrow. Fuck. She didn't care that he got away with the bag or her personal belongings like her phone, keys, wallet or money, she was more concerned that he got the files with her clients personal informations. She was more sad and angry for them, because if they got in the hands of the wrong person shit could turn nasty. She saw him disappear around the corner, probably never to be seen again. Sighing, she leaned back against her car wondering what to do next.

 

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Like every other Thursday night for the past 7 weeks, Franky was sitting on the hill behind the old building Bridget held her group sessions in, looking out over the almost empty carpark. The view wasn't the most captivating, not yet at least. The first time she had gone there had been with the intention of actually attend the session, but she had been to weak, feeling to exposed to meet Bridget, she hadn't be able to do it. Then she had seen Bridget walk out, and that was the second best thing she could think of, because that meant she actually got to see her, even if it was just for a few minutes. It had become a routine for her, sitting on that hill every Thursday evening, study Bridget's beauty from afar, imagining and dreaming what it would be like to be a normal person. A person with no regrets, with no dark cloud hanging over them, with family, friends and loved ones. To love, to be loved. To be loved by Bridget. Even if it only took Bridget 2 minutes to walk to her car, those 2 minutes was fast becoming Franky's favourite 2 minutes of the week. She couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that Bridget parked at the exactly same spot every time, even when the carpark was empty. This Thursday was no exception, Franky was sitting in her usual spot just waiting for the beautiful blonde to come out. Franky’s heartbeat stopped for a second when Bridget opened the door. She spotted it instantly. Bridget had cut her hair, it was way shorter, a bob. All woman couldn't handle short hair, but Bridget certainly could, holy shit, she looked so freaking hot. When her heartbeat had settled and returned to normal she noticed a dark figure on the other side of the car park, running towards Bridget and she instantly felt something bad was gonna happen. When she saw him snatch her handbag she was already on her way down to stop the motherfucker. She was halfway down the hill when she saw his elbow connect with Bridget's face and Bridget falling down on the ground - she’ll better be okay, she’ll better be okay. She saw him running around the corner of the building and she knew there was only one way for him to escape, so she took off the other side, knowing damn well he would soon enough appear in front of her, she couldn't wait to beat the shit out of him. No one hurts Bridget on my watch.

 

Bridget was still sitting on the ground, leaning against her car, trying to figure out what to do next. How would she get home? She got no keys. Public transportation? She had no money. Call for help? She had no phone. Ok Bridget, think. She could only find one solution and it wasn't at all how she had planned on spending her Thursday night, but hey life isn't always the way you planned right. When life gives you lemon you make lemonade. Her friend Vera was the only one that had a spare key to her house, she lived an hour away. If your lucky you'll pass a 24/7 gas station and borrow a phone. Better start walking she thought and got up slowly, her head feeling a little dizzy after the hit. Her hands rubbing gently over her temples, trying to massage the nausea away, and when she opened her eyes again she could swear she was hallucinating. There was no way in universe this was real, it couldn’t. Did I end up with a concussion?

’You alright?’ Bridget thought she heard, but it couldn't be real. Blinking a couple of times, trying to understand if it really was true. When she opened her eyes again, the image from before, was still standing there in front of her, with HER handbag in her hands. Was she some kind of superhero sent here to rescue her? Was that their connection? The victim and her hero?

’You okay Bridget?’ she asked again, before dropping Bridget's handbag on the ground and taking  one step closer towards her. Franky's hand reached her cheek, inspecting the already bruised area and the fresh cut under her eye. It hadn't stopped bleeding yet, but to Franky's trained eye, yep she had have her fair share of those, it seemed to be a clean cut. 

’I’m..I’m fine. What? .. How?..How?..’ Bridget stuttered, still confused. What was Franky doing here? And why now? So many unanswered questions.

’Hey, shh, it’s okay. He won’t bother you anymore, you're safe’ she said and ripped off the edge of her long sleeve, wanting to put some pressure on the cut. She stopped centimetres away, her eyes searching Bridget's to see if she could continue, and when those beautiful ocean blue eyes met hers, showing nothing but gratitude, she continued. Holding the piece of clothing gently over the cut, her body suddenly tensed when she felt Bridget's hand over hers. She was suddenly reminded that she shouldn't be here, shouldn't do this. Taking a step back, she looked at Bridget for a split second before her gaze settled on her white Chuck Taylors. 

’He didn't take anything’ Franky said, looking everywhere except at Bridget. 

’Thank you’ Bridget said, not wanting Franky to leave just yet. She could see it in her eyes, on her tensed body language, Franky was slipping away from her again.

’You should stop by at the hospital, let them take a look at those’ Franky said pointing to her cuts, slowly walking backwards, to escape.

’Wait’ Bridget said, louder than she meant too, but it made Franky stop for a minute. Bridget's face hurt like hell but she wasn't ready to let Franky go just yet. 

’How can I ever thank you enough, what you just did for me now, not many people would have. That was amazing’ Bridget said, taking a step closer. Franky was still frozen to her spot.

’How can I repay you? Bridget asked, taking another step closer. They were now in touching range and Bridget could feel the tension sipping out from Franky's body. 

’It was nothing’ Franky whispered and if Bridget wasn't standing as close as she was she wouldn't have heard it. 

’It was not nothing. It was everything to me. You are my hero’ Bridget said, taking a tiny step forward. Franky was rooted in her position, her fists turning into balls, fight or flight. She noticed the tiniest movement off Bridget's arm reaching out towards her, and she couldn’t, she couldn't.

’I’m not a good person’ she said through gritted teeth. She saw Bridget's arm return to her side, her body more tense than before, but she didn't look scared. Well that was new. 

Bridget maybe should have been frightened by the darkness in Franky's voice or the way her fists turned white because she gripped them too hard but she wasn't. Bridget saw right through her and she wasn't afraid to tell Franky just that.

’I’m not afraid of you’

’You should be’ Franky responded, fighting hard to resist the urge to look into Bridget's eyes because if she did, she wasn't sure she would be able to stand her ground. Looking into those piercing blue eyes would melt her on the spot. She wasn't ready for that. She would not destroy Bridget's life too. 

'I just beat a man half to death, and I didn't want to stop' she continued, drying her eyes of tears that had escaped with her sleeve.

Bridget didn't care about the confession, he deserved it for all she cared. She tried again, taking a step forward. She was so close she could feel the warmth of Franky's breath on her. 

’But you did. You are a good person Franky’ she said with so much confidence that for a few seconds Franky actually started to think if she was right.

’Im not’ Franky yelled back.

’You are Franky, you are..’ Bridget didn't have time to finish her sentence before Franky pointed her finger threateningly at her as to say shut up.

’Don't’ Franky shouted before walking away. If she didn't leave now things could get out of control and she didn't know if she was strong enough to resist the kindness Bridget wanted to give her. 

 

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Bridget's night had turned into a fucking comedy. From being mugged and beaten, to being saved by her superhero, the woman she hadn't been able to stop thinking about, just to end up in a verbal disagreement and ending up alone in a carpark with all her belongings back and a cut under her eye. Fucking fantastic. And the humour through it all, Franky hadn't only brought back her bag, she had also saved her from walking an absurdly long way, in HEELS, oh the irony. 

 

When Franky was out of sight from Bridget she sunk down to the ground, almost hyperventilating. Her hands were shaking and she could feel the tears threatening to escape. She had tried, she really had tried to show Bridget her true self. She wasn't a good person and she had shown Bridget that. Bridget didn't even flinch, she didn't even fucking flinch. She wasn't scared of her. Not a trace of fear or anger, just gratefulness and kindness - and understanding. Why was she so fucking nice. Why did she want to help her. Why was she so fucking beautiful. Why did she have such power over me?

 

There might be a little hope after all. 

Chapter Text

Come on and open up, open up

Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind?

Tell me what you need so we don't have this fight

Come on and open up, open up 

I know it's a front you've been hiding behind

Come on and open up, open up 

Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind?

 

 

 

Why did you do it?’ Officer Anderson questioned for what felt like the 10th time.

’I told you already’ Franky sighed, defeated by the law once again. When was it gonna be on her side? It failed her when she was seven years old, abused and beaten by her own flesh and blood, her mom. It didn't exactly help her when she was being moved from foster home to foster home. Not when she was twenty and wrongly accused of selling drugs, ok, she wasn't totally innocent here, I mean, she had done it a couple of times, but not the time when she was actually accused of it. So why would she get a break no? 28 years old, accused of using great body harm in selfdefense. He broke his nose, so what, that was nothing. There was no way she was going to escape this though, it seemed like the cops had have enough of her, lock her up and throw away the key.

The bruises from last week, operation beat the shit out of Bridget's perpetrator, had just started to heal when it was time for her next fight. It was roughly one week later and she got mixed up in a bar fight. A huge guy came at her from behind, grabbing her and started to sexually grind on her, moving his hips like he was going to fuck her. She had tried to take the highway, Bridget's heartfelt words still lingering in her mind - You are a good person Franky. She did her best to be polite but he was to much of a dickhead, it was like he wanted the monster to make an appearance. Probably wished you walked away now you fucker. He was arrogant and aggressive and it all ended with him breaking his nose and taking a kick to his balls. And that is the reason she’s spending this Tuesday night down at the local police station.

’You did yes, but it still doesn't make any sense' sighing, Officer Anderson continued.

'Well you know the drill, we are keeping you overnight. They guy reported you, do you want to report him?’ Why even ask, she already knew the answer.

Franky shook her head, nope, it doesn't matter anyway. She stood up and followed the young policeman who was escorting her to her suite for the night, in reality there was no need for that. Franky knew her way around this place, it wasn't her first overnight visit.

Officer Anderson shook her head and sat back down at the table looking over the incident report. It wasn't the first time her path has crossed with Francesca Doyle and probably not the last. She was well known around the police department in Melbourne. Anderson had heard numerous rumours about her tragic childhood and her troubled youth and she felt somewhat sorry for her. It didn't excuse Franky's violent behaviour and choices as an adult, but it somehow gave her some sort of understanding why. She had worked with several teenagers with the same tragic background as Franky and had seen what all that bent up shit could do to you if you weren't careful. It wasn't a great percentage that came out of it with a promising future, she just hoped she hadn't lost another one. What shall we do with you Doyle, what shall we do. Grabbing the report from the table she walked back to her office to make a phone call.

 

 

It was early morning when Franky awoke to the sound of a key in the lock. Sitting up on the bed she saw officer Anderson walk in with a big smile on her face.

’Morning Doyle, slept well?’ she said with a smile. Creepy, Franky thought. She didn't reply, just shrugged her shoulders. She knew what was coming and it made her angry, it was so fucking unfair. She was certain she would be sent to jail for protecting herself against a man twice her size. How could this be fair?

Just say it for fuck sake. 

’Alright then. Here is the deal, and to let you know, I fought very hard for this to happen, so please take this opportunity and make the most of it’ Officer Anderson said and handed over a paper to Franky. As Franky started to read, Anderson continued.

’No jail time and no remarks in the system’ she could see the tension leave Franky's body. You're joking, this can’t be right? Franky thought.

’BUT, in order to keep it that way, you will need to attend counselling sessions three times a week for a month’. As soon as Officer Andersons words left her mouth, Franky's body language shifted right back, claws out ready to protect herself. Aaaand there it is. Seeing a shrink? Just shoot me already. Officer Anderson could only imagine Franky's thought on psychologists, but in every aspect she could think off, it was way better then prison. She had worked bloody hard with the prosecutor and her colleagues to get her this deal, don't screw it up Doyle. 

She left Franky to it, said good bye and hoped she would never see her inside of these walls again.

 

                                                                                               --------

 

Bridget had taken the Friday off after the incident, she didn't want to but her best friend Vera and her brother Jack had forced her. Vera had even decided to stay with her over the weekend, not wanting Bridget to be alone, and Jack dropping in a few times a day to see her sister. They had made the right call, because when the initial shock had left Bridget she had broken down entirely. Fear, anger, relief, hope and pain, she felt them all as they came crushing down at her the moment she finally let herself relax. She was thankful for the company and the distraction and she couldn't be more grateful that Vera still remembered, from nursing school 15 years ago, how to do stitches, saving her a trip to the hospital. She hated hospitals, feeling sick every time she even got close to one. A sudden hang up she got when her mom passed away 4 years ago in leukemia, having spent her last 6 months in hospital.

She thought about Franky from time to time, what she was doing, where she was, how she was, if she would ever see her again. She hoped she would, she still felt they had some sort of connection between them, even more so since Thursday evening. She was confused about it. On one hand, Franky had helped her, rescued her. She beat a man for you, for you. She had shown up like an guardian angel out of nowhere. Why were she there? The old prison wasn't a place people went to hang out, unless you were going to her open sessions. Was she there because she wanted to attend, or was she maybe there to see me? A coincidence? On the other hand, Franky had clearly tried to push her away. Tried her best to make Bridget scared, showing her angry side, her frightening side. I don't need you. It had backfired. Bridget wasn't scared of her, she was intrigued - fascinated. Having worked in the field for nearly 15 years, she had seen it all, well almost. 

 

Bridget was out to dinner with her brother the week after when she got a work related call about a new client. It wasn't like she needed new patients, she was pretty much fully booked for the whole year but it was something her colleague insisted she take on, ’I think you can help her Bridget’. She had mentioned a phrase in their phone call that caught her attention, a kite that lost their wings, it had got her intrigued. It wasn't going to be a long time patient anyway, it would only be for a couple of weeks, Bridget could make this work. It wasn't like she had anyone to come home to at nights anyway.

 

                                                                                                --------

 

’What do you like to do?’ she asked and Franky rolled her eyes, I don't like you that’s for sure, she thought. She was halfway through her third therapy session, it felt more like an anger management session with Dr Boring over there. A small part of her actually wished she would have gotten jail time instead, it would have been a lot more action than this, that’s for sure. Dr Jolene was probably good at her job, good at what she did, but Franky's track record with psychologist have never and never will be a match made in heaven. Dr Jolene was pretty young, blue eyes, blonde, big boobs, hot. It was a bonus for sure, being locked in a room with a smoking hot bird, but Franky was stone cold. You can’t help me so give it up. She was only attending these hour long meetings for one reason, and one reason only, to stay out off the cops naughty book. 

Dr Jolene was frustrated, she couldn't get through to Franky, she gave nothing away, not even the middle piece of a 1000 pieced puzzle. She was like a locked diary and had done a bloody good job at hiding the key. She had tried different techniques but Franky didn't budge, not once. 

’It seems like you don't want to talk today either’ Dr Jolene said and straightened her body from her relaxed position on the comfy armchair, so she was closer to Franky. Really? What gave it away? Franky shrugged her shoulders, kept her nonchalant approach, her back leaning against the back rest, hands clapped together on her stomach and her legs formed like a v.

’I have helped a lot of people who was raised in an abusive family. I read your file, I know what you went through..’

’You don't know shit’ Franky yelled back, her hands gripping tight around the armrest. Dr Jolene flinched for a millisecond, not quite comfortable with Franky's anger, and Franky saw it, good - you should be afraid of me, you deserve it for what you just said. 

She moved back a little in her chair, a safer distance.

’You know, I'm only here to help you. I'm not judging you or pity you or anything like that. I just want to help you feel better, you know that right?’

’Yeh, sure’ Franky responded a little calmer, she had heard it all before, same story every damn time. Never worked though, did it?

’I’m confident enough to say that I’ve got the tools to help you, to guide you through your feelings and help you with whatever it is that’s bothering you. But I'm also humble enough to confess when it’s not working. I'm not the right person for you’ she said and closed her notepad. 

’I don't need any help. I’ll be fine on my own. Thanks for trying though’ she said those last words with a hint of sarcasm and stood, time was up anyway and she didn't want to be in this room a minute longer than she had too. When she was walking home she felt like a bit of a dickhead. This woman had only tried to help her, understand her, and all she got in return was….nothing. I'm a lost cause.

When Franky was gone, Dr Jolene looked down on her almost empty notepad, it was a pretty humiliating sight, 3 sessions and only a handful of notes. Franky was a tough nut to crack and she clearly wasn't the right person to do so, but she might have one in mind that could.

 

Bridget got home late from dinner with her brother. As the workaholic she was, she turned on her computer to check her work email before turning in for the night. Her colleague had told her over the phone that she was going to send her the files of the transferred client, and true to her word, Bridget had an unread email from her. She didn't bother the rest of the emails that had been dropping into her mailbox during the evening, those weren't on her mind right now, they could wait. Fighting against the wine in her veins and the tiredness in her body, she couldn't help but click on it, eager to start working. Female, 28 yr, Melbourne. Abused as a child, dad absent, foster homes. Troubled youth, anger, violence. Closed book, impossible to get her to open up. Lost. Afraid. Strong. Smart. Her breath got caught in her chest and a tear rolled down her cheek when she scrolled down towards the end and clicked on the attached file, showing the photo and personal information. Oh god… oh Franky she cried out. 

This could be a conflict of interest, Bridget sighed and poured herself another glass of red. There was no way she was able to go to sleep now.

 

                                                                                               --------

 

It was Tuesday 9.40 am when Bridget walked down the short corridor to her office. In 20 minutes she was expecting Franky to sit in front of her, pouring her heart out, yeah you wish. She wasn't ignoring the fact that this could turn out to be a massive mistake, it probably will be and she will have to deal with that if - correction - when it happens. Bridget is and always have been a positive human being, always searching and seeing the best in everyone, and no matter what Franky would think of this situation, she could only hope and try to get Franky to understand that she only wants to help her, listen to her, heal her. Hearing the buzz indicating that Franky had arrived, she stood up, straightened her jacket and went to call her in. Here we go..

 

Oh boy that did not go particularly well, and that’s very much a kind way to put it. To say Franky had been shocked to find out that it was Bridget who was her new psychologist had been an understatement. They hadn't come very far, not anywhere to be honest. There had been a lot of silence and then suddenly a lot of yelling, pushing and pulling. Franky had tried again to push her away, but Bridget saw it for what it was, a selfdefense mechanism - trust doesn't exists, everybody leaves. Bridget had seen Franky fighting with and against her demons, fighting against herself - against Bridget. Franky hadn't wanted to be there, her body language showed that pretty clear, and the words she said to Bridget was all but nice, but at the end of the day, Bridget thought, Franky hadn't left. As much as she didn't want to be there, as much as she didn't want to participate, she had stayed, and that told Bridget what she had known all along, there is hope. 

The second session had continued in the same pattern as the first one. There had been more talking though, or not talking per se, it was more that Franky had tried to steer away from all the questions by her cheekiness, and sarcasm, lots and lots of sarcasm. Franky made no effort in making Bridget's work any easier, but what she didn’t know was that Bridget loved a challenge. It was obvious to Bridget that Franky had trust issues, afraid of being exposed, to be stripped naked and be seen for who she really was - to be seen as weak. 

 

Going into their 3rd session, last one of the week, Bridget knew she had to try something different. It was going to be a risky play from her side and if she wasn't careful, things could turn south for her pretty quick.

The main goal was to get Franky to open up, to deal with her emotions. To see, to be the person she wanted to be all along, before all the anger, violence and abuse. Bridget had seen it first hand, the kindness, the protective side of Franky, she knew she was good. Her job now was going to make sure that Franky saw it too. In order for that to happen she needs to push, to prod, and if Bridget had to do that by bending a few rules, she would, it was the least she could do.

 

’We are going to try something different today Franky, I hope that is okay with you’ Bridget said at the same time there was a knock on the door. Bridget got up and walked to the door, receiving 2 cups of freshly brewed coffee, handing one out to Franky before she went back to her chair.

’If you are an all black coffee kind of girl we can switch’ Bridget said and slipped down in her chair, taking a sip of the boiling hot coffee. Closing her eyes for a bit, she welcomed the hot liquid down her throat, so good, so good.

 

Franky was surprised when Bridget gave her the cup, this wasn't at all how her therapy sessions usually started. Under all her previous sessions, from age 9 to now, she had never, never once, been given or asked if she wanted a beverage. It was a nice gesture, but odd. Something was happening here, she’d better be on her toes. Mumbling out a ’thanks’, she took the cup and sat back in her armchair, ready to fight back. But jeeez this coffee smells amazing.

 

’How have you been since our last time?’ Bridget asked in a friendly tone.

 

’Peachy as always’ Franky responded with her trademark eye roll. 

 

’What do you like to do that makes you happy Franky?’

 

’I’d like to do you, that would make me real happy’ Franky responded with a smirk, mentally high-fiving herself at the quick comeback. 

 

’Charming’ Bridget kept her smile, you're not intimidating me - your bravado won’t work. Internally she sighed, so it was going to be one of those kind of sessions, same as usual then. 

 

’Tell me, what is your safe place? Where do you go or what do you do when you feel the need to just slow down for a bit, to relax, to breath?’ Bridget asked calm and composed, not in the slightest affected by Franky's flirty behaviour. She wouldn't play her game, not today Franky, not today.

Why does she always sound so freaking nice, that soft honest voice is just so damn calming to listen to, so comfortable. Franky wants nothing more than to give her the answer, any answer, she deserves that much. Bridget hasn't done anything wrong, in fact, Bridget has been nothing but utterly kind to her - to kind perhaps, and yet, here we are, me treating you like shit, sorry but deal with it. Franky can’t give in, she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to have Bridget fighting her corner, and yet a tiny voice in her head keeps whispering, give up, let her in. Do it.

Do it, do it, do it..

NO DON’T!

’You wanna know what I do when I need to relax huh? I FUCK’ she yelled the last part, her eyes not leaving Bridget's intense gaze, not even for a millisecond. 

 

’Mmm, and you think that is a healthy way to cope with it?’ Bridget responded, not batting an eyelid. 

 

’I don’t give a shit. I don't fuck to cope with my feelings, I fuck to forget, until I can’t remember anymore’ Franky continued with a raised voice. She was angry now. 

 

’Remember what?’ Bridget pushed.

 

’EVERYTHING!’ Franky yelled, ’I hate this fucking world, and everyone in it. Gahh, I hate it, I hate myself’ her body shook from anger, she felt like she was going to explode. Her eyes stings from keeping the tears from rolling down her cheeks. She didn't care about the pain, there were going to be zero tears. She wasn't going to show Bridget how fucking weak she really was. A part of her just wanted Bridget to get over to her, hold her and never let go. The other part screamed stay away from me. 

 

All Bridget wanted to do was to run over there and hug her, comfort her. Tell her that everything was going to be okay. She couldn’t, and she wouldn't, that would be bending the rule a little to much. She walked over to the little mini fridge she had in her office, getting out a bottle of water. She wanted to give Franky time to recover a little, calm down. Walking back she stretched out her hand with the bottle, offering it to Franky. Franky shook her head no, but Bridget saw it. The confusion on Franky's face, she was surprised, she hadn't expected it after her little outburst a minute ago. She left the bottle on the table in front of her anyways - it’s there if you change your mind. 

She was proud of herself, she had got Franky where she wanted her, needed her. She needed her to be fragile, to show emotions. She needed to know what she felt, because it’s only when you are brave enough to show your feelings, that you can start to heal. Keep going Bridget, push her, prod her  - you need to. She looks so fragile, i just wanna hug her. You can’t, it wont help her. But look at her, it’s too much. It’s not, she needs this, you need to brake her. It’s going to be to much for her. No, she needs it. Do it, brake her. 

 

Let’s talk about your family, it’s clearly they had a big impact in your life’ Bridget said and she could feel the hair rise on her neck when she saw the way Franky's whole body language changed in an instant. 

 

I don’t wanna talk about it’  Leave it Franky begged. 

 

’I know about your childhood’ Bridget's gaze didn't leave Franky's for a second when she said it and she could see the silent plea in the eyes staring back at her. Please Bridget, don't go there. I’m begging you.

 

’I know what your mom did..’ Bridget pushed on. Come on Franky.

 

Fucking hell Bridget, why?

 

’No you fucking don’t’ Franky was standing now, pointing her finger at Bridget. Bridget didn't move, she had the same kind, honest, inviting posture as always. You're a good person Franky, I'm not afraid of you. You wont hurt me.

 

’I read about it’ You can do this Franky, go with me, I will protect you.

 

’I LIVED it’

Chapter Text

 

You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged

Oh I realise, it’s hard to take courage

In a world full of people you can lose sight of it all

Darkness inside you can make you feel so small

But I see your true colours shining through

I see your true colours so don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colours, true colours

Beautiful

 

 

It had taken all Bridget's will power to stay seated in her chair when Franky had broken down in tears on the floor. Gripping the armrest as hard as she could to stay seated when in reality all she wanted to do was run over to her and hold her, comfort her. You did this Bridget, and it’s up to you to fix it. Bridget had pushed, jesus fucking christ, she had pushed. She had used all of her knowledge and experience and she had backed Franky into a corner without any doors to escape, she had nowhere to hide. Franky had no choice but surrender, willingly or not. A part of Franky was furious, furious off herself for being naive enough not to see this coming and furious at Bridget for outplaying her. The other part of Franky was impressed, impressed by how fucking good Bridget was at her job. There had been none to this day, that had crawled so far under her skin that she was actually amazed. Bridget was special, so fucking special. Bridget had finally got Franky to open up about her childhood. Professional Bridget was proud. Proud of herself, proud of Franky. She had needed Franky to brake and boy had she got what she wished for. Non working Bridget however felt nauseas, the things Franky had told her, she wanted to throw up. It all felt so surreal. What Franky had told her broke her heart. To sit and listen to someone that tells you she wasn't allowed to leave the house because people would notice the bruises on her body. To say that she was so unlovable that her own dad left her and that her mother hated her. That instead of a bedtime story she got a long fucking verbal lecture about why she was so goddamn useless. That she was used as a punching bag when her mom was angry. It’s heavy to listen to and you can’t help but feel sorry for them and it’s the worst you can do because they don't want your pity. You have no idea what it’s like, you think you can imagine but you can’t because your parents were…well parents, loving comforting supporting parents. Then she finishes her story by telling the worst part, a part so sick and disgusting that it takes a while for you to wrap your head around it. She tells you that her own mom used to burn her with cigarettes just because she was bored and laughed when you cried out in pain. She closes her eyes and she's back there, reliving it all again. It doesn't matter how many years has passed, the memories won’t leave her alone, she's constantly reminded. For fuck sake, she can’t even pass a smoker without feeling the pain or the smell of burnt skin. Your brain can’t register her words. You don’t understand it until you watch her, the pain and hurt in her eyes, the way her lips shiver, the way her fingers gently caressing the scars. You watch her close her eyes and you see she can still feel it happening. The pain, the shame, the confusion of why her own mom could do this to her. That's when YOU brake. You don't show it of course, you’re the one who needs to be strong in order to help. You have learned how to deal with this, you have been trained to keep your emotions in check, but right now, you are broken inside. Broken for the girl sitting in front of you for having kept that secret, shame, hurt, anger inside of her all these years. Broken for the little girl inside of her who didn't get to have a childhood. You want to cry with her, you want to take her in your arms and comfort her, whisper that everything is going to be alright, that she did so good, that she’s safe now. The problem is you can't so you give her what you do can. You walk the short distance over to where she’s sitting on the floor, crouching down so you're roughly the same height and your hand lands gently on her knee because you feel the need to touch her, you need her to know you're still there.

’Franky? You okay?’ she asks, her voice betraying her more then she wanted, still emotional from Franky's heartfelt confession.

Franky was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall hugging her knees. Her heartbeat had slowed down but it was still beating faster than normal. Her eyes red and swollen, shit, she hadn't cried this much since…well never. How she wished the last 45 minutes never happened. She felt weak, she felt like a failure. So no, she was not okay. She wasn't going to admit that though, she couldn't give Bridget anymore power than she already had, her pride was hurt enough. She held her gaze downwards, afraid to meet Bridget's eyes. She had no clue what emotion those beautiful blue eyes would tell her but she couldn't take the pity now. She hated when people felt sorry for her, pitying her. Nodding her head, she got out a quiet yeh. 

When Franky left Bridget's office she felt off, like she was drowning even if the water just reached her knees. She needed to fix this, she needed to feel like herself again. 

 

 

------------

 

 

For the last 2 hours Franky had poured in vodka tonics like it was water. She was sitting in a corner booth surrounded by young women offering themselves to her. All of them wishing they would be the lucky girl who got to go home with the tattooed brunette. The house music blasted through the speakers and Franky's head was spinning, her mind still battling with what happened earlier today. Her heartbeat started to increase in sync with the music and it was making her crazy. She grabbed the hand of the blonde sitting next her to her, she’ll do, and left the nightclub. They were barely inside when Franky's mouth sought out the blondes in a rough kiss. Franky guided her backwards to the couch, removing her clothes in the process eager to get the release she needed- This was just going to be a simple fuck, there was nothing gentle about this situation what so ever. The blonde was butt naked when her back was pushed down on the couch, Franky's lips instantly buried between the blondes boobs sucking and licking. She felt the blonde starting to grind her thigh to get some friction. Wasting no time Franky entered her with two fingers, pumping in and out in a fast motion. 

’This feels so good. Please don't stop. Faster, faster’ the blonde panted and Franky continued her fast and steady pace. The blonde moaned and Franky looked up to see the pleasure on her face, only it wasn't the blondes face she saw. Franky closed her eyes, stopped her movements inside the blonde and pulled out her fingers. No fucking way. The blonde begged her to continue, but it wasn't the blondes face she saw when she opened her eyes. It was Bridget's. No no no, don't mess with my head Bridget. Shaking her head and blinking a few times, Bridget's face was replaced by the blondes and she could finally breath again. She kissed her roughly and her fingers found it’s way back inside the blonde continuing in the same rough pace as before. Franky could tell the blonde was close and kept her rhythm.

You think that is a healthy way to cope with it?

I don't care.

Your are a good person Franky.

You don't know me.

You’re strong - brave.

Ppff, the worst part though, she used to burn me with cigarettes just because she thought it was fun.

Oh Franky, you didn't deserve any of it.

Franky stopped her movements again only to be met by a grunt from the blonde. Her brain was mind fucking her, Bridget was stuck in her head. She couldn't focus - it didn't feel right. You're a fucking warrior for surviving Franky. For fuck sake, get out of my head Bridget. She got off the couch, collected the discarded clothes and threw them at the blonde. 

’Get out’

’What’s….’ 

'Get out. Now!’ Franky yelled and left her butt naked on the couch. She closed the door to her bedroom and slid down to the floor, her back against the door. Bridget what are you doing to me?

 

 

-----------

 

 

’Gdday Franky’, come in’ Bridget greeted at the door. It was Tuesday afternoon and it was their first session of the week, the first since Franky's emotional confession about her childhood. Bridget closed the door and followed suit. 

’How are you feeling today? Did you have a good weekend?’ Bridget asked with that kind voice and cute smile that got Franky feeling things she never felt before. How could she have that power me? Franky had been scared, or not scared, more nervous about what her confession had done to Bridget. Would she think less of me, feel sorry for me, resent me because I was weak? Franky didn't see any trace of pity or resentment in Bridget's eyes in spite of what she now knew, only kindness and understanding. Franky wondered if Bridget would still be the same if she knew all the shit she's done - probably not because then she would be crazy.

 

’Yeah I’m okay. Weekend was alright, got shit faced on Friday and then I had to deal with the consequences Saturday and Sunday’ she responded and surprised herself that she actually answered the question without any sarcasm. 

Bridget smiled and raised her eyebrows, showing more feelings then she probably should have but she couldn't help it.

 

’Sounds rough, I remember those days. I wouldn't be able to handle that today’ she smiled, probably revealing more than she should have but she didn't care. 

Franky smirked, an image off a drunk Bridget letting loose popped up in her head. Franky couldn't help but flirt back;

’I can so picture you all needy and grumpy after a night out’ she said, sticking her tongue out the side. She can picture it and it’s fucking cute. 

’Mm I bet you can’ Bridget winked and immediately wished she could take it back. She saw the way Franky's face lit up and oh god that smile, her heart melted. You’re taking it too far Bridget.

 

’Is there something special you want to talk about today? Bridget asked, still with a smile but there were more authority in her voice. 

 

’I wanna talk about you’ Franky playfully responded, feeling frisky about the way this session had started and at Bridget's cheekiness.  

 

’Nice try’ Bridget smiled and chastised herself for letting it go this far.

’This is your session, we are here to talk about you Franky’ she continued and Franky shook her head disappointed in Bridget's switch. This was no fun anymore.

 

’What do you want out of life? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?’ Bridget asked.

I wanna be free. I wanna have a life I'm proud off. I wanna be a lawyer. I wanna have a girl and maybe a dog, not one of those tiny rats, a big one. I wanna own a house with a gorgeous fucking kitchen. There, I said it. I want all that. Franky was lost in thoughts and snapped out of it when she heard Bridget gasp. Bridget had been eyeing Franky, who was deep in thought. She looked so innocent, beautiful and…and hopeful. Then she gasped, did Franky hear? Was it loud? Yes and yes. Franky's eyes met hers and they both looked embarrassed at being caught. Bridget smiled, encouraging her to go on. 

 

’Probably the same as now’ she said and shrugged her shoulders. Her life wasn't meant to be any different then what it was, she didn't deserve anymore after everything she had done. 

She needs to give herself some more credit Bridget thought. She has so much good inside of her, she deserves everything.

 

’You are a smart girl, surely you can’t mean that. No dreams at all? Bridget pushed.

What do you want me to say, that I want unicorns and rainbows? That I want my life to be perfect. Well that’s never gonna happen. 

 

’I can’t afford to have dreams or hope, if I let myself dream all I would get in return is just the biggest fuck you. Jeeeez, the shit I done, I’m no good and I don't deserve good’ her voice was honest and calm and she held Bridget's intense gaze, challenging her, what are you gonna do with that?

 

’I disagree. Sure, we can’t change the past and we can’t undo the things we done and regret but we can learn form it. The past doesn't reflect on our future Franky. You are as deserving of a bright future as anyone else and I will keep telling you that until you believe it. Everyone have made mistakes in their past, but it doesn't define us, it doesn't define who we are or who we want to be. What define us is how we move on, how we live our today and tomorrow. I see you Franky and you are so worthy of a good future. You are a good person Franky, you are’ Bridget said and hoped Franky would get it.

Franky couldn't take it, it was too much.

’BUT IM NOT! If you knew the shit I’ve done you wouldn't say that’ Franky yelled back. This session was heading in the direction of all the other, with a screaming match. Well, with Franky screaming.

 

’You don't see it do you?’ Bridget answered calm as always.

 

’See what? That you’re crazy? Because yeh I’m starting to see that now’ Franky said and Bridget couldn't help but chuckle. Maybe Franky wasn't that far away from the truth after all, I mean she was feeling all sorts of things for the patient sitting in front of her. 

 

’Tell me what you said to me the first time we met’ Bridget asked.

’I don't remember’ she lied. How could she ever forget those beautiful blue eyes and that beautiful smile staring back at her when she thanked her for having her back. Bridget knew she lied too, but she needed Franky to understand what she saw in Franky.

 

’You thanked me for having your back’ she said and continued;

 

’Remember that night you saved me? You helped me, you got my bag back. You even ripped your sweater in half to help stop the bleeding on my cheek. The gentle touch when you inspected my wound. So how can you say you’re not a good person when all you've done to me is being kind?’ And don't for once think I’ve forgot the way you kissed me in the parking lot. Wow. Leaving out the last part thinking now is not the right time.

 

’C’mon Franky, you are a smart woman. Use that brilliant mind of yours to your advantage. When I look at you I see kindness, I see strength. You survived something awful, something most people never would and you came out stronger. You deserve everything good that comes your way. You are a warrior, don't you ever forget that’ Bridget said and meant every single word. She smiled when she saw Franky try to take it all in, try to understand what all this meant. Her lips slowly but steadily shifted upwards. 

 

Hearing those words made her feel lighter, like a weight had dropped from her shoulders. For the first time she let herself think of a future, a future with hope of a better life filled with laughter, dreams, love, everything she wanted but never had. What was it with Bridget and the way she made Franky feel like a million bucks. She couldn't help but smile back. No-one had ever made her feel this way. This woman owns me. 

Bridget had said it in such a convincing way that for the first time in her life Franky actually started to believe that maybe she deserved more then what she had.

Chapter Text

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you


 

Franky was sprawled out on her couch in her one bedroom apartment. She hadn't bothered decorating, she wasn't planning on staying there forever. She didn't want that shit hole to be her forever place hence why she never made it feel like a home. For fuck sake, the small one bedroom apartment didn't even had a decent kitchen. There were no way in hell she was staying longer than she had too but for now it was all she could afford. She hated to be there but she wasn't in the mood to go out partying tonight or just go out for the sake of it. Her mind was occupied with other stuff. Not so much other stuff, more on a certain someone. Since she got home from her latest session she hadn't been able to stop thinking about the last conversation she had with Bridget.

If you could have one wish, what would it be? Anything you want.

It doesn't matter. It’s never gonna happen.

Humour me. Paint  me a picture.  

She hadn't answered then because she had been too embarrassed. But she knew. She had always known. It had just taken a special someone to make her realise that she was entitled to good things, to dream. Because she mattered. Franky Doyle mattered just as much as anyone else.

 

 

Bridget knew she was too far gone. She had worked in this business for nearly 20 years and never, never once, had she let it go this far. She should have stopped their sessions already and if she was being honest with herself she should never had agreed to them in the first place. She knew from the start that she had some sorts of feelings for Franky. Maybe not in a romantic way but there were definitely attraction from her side. Deep inside she might have hoped she could push that away, keep it locked up but the more Franky opened up to her the harder she fell. It wasn't just attraction anymore. Franky was gorgeous of course. That was obviously what attracted her from the start but it wasn't the whole picture now. Far from. Franky was incredible smart, intellectual, she had a vocabulary like no other she had met. She loved their banter - back and forth, give and take. She was witty and an incredible smooth talker. She was brave. Oh god, that woman was stronger than anyone she had ever met. To have gone through everything she had done and still be here, not everyone could do it. 

 

 

————————

 

 

’Hey Franky, please come in’ Bridget greeted and Franky's eyes lit up. Putting one foot inside of that office and she instantly felt…happy. It was a weird feeling for Franky, she hadn't felt that way since she was a little girl spending time with her dad. A time when he was still her most favourite person in the whole world. Bridget revoked that feeling in Franky. The way her heart burst with joy every time Bridget was present. Bridget’s present made her calm. Her beautiful smile made her heart beat that little bit faster. The way she talked made Franky feel strong. Safe. Important. It made her brave and afraid at the same time. Bridget was by far the first and only person that Franky could not stop thinking about. There was something about the way she held herself. Her fancy clothing, her confidence, her experience. Her beauty and kindness. She was truly one of a kind.

 

’Hey Gidget’ Franky sing-songed, a smirk plastered on her face. If you would have told her 2 weeks ago that she would be happy going into a shrink session she would have laughed her face off telling you to fuck off. But this wasn't just a regular shrink was it? Bridget was something else. Bridget had become special to Franky. She had opened up something inside of Franky that had been dead for a long time. In some kind of a weird way it felt like she had restarted her heart. Bridget has never once made her feel anything other than special. She has never once made her feel like she's not worthy, that she’s no good. She has never once tried to change anything about her. Bridget has been the first person to really see Franky, see her for who she is, who she can be. Bridget is kind, warm, friendly, smart and incredible hot. In spite of Franky trying her best to show her the bad side off Franky in hope to get rid of her, she had only been met with Bridget's  kindness and respect. Bridget was the only one who could see through her walls, see through her huge amount off bullshit. Like she had some kind of special superpower that only could be used on her, that only worked on her. With Bridget she found herself she could only be the real her, the real Franky Doyle. 

 

’Someone is cheery today. You haven't forgot it’s Bridget right?’ Bridget said and smiled.

 

’I haven’t. I’ve been thinking about it and I prefer Gidget. It just suits ya don't ya think?’ Franky replied, biting her lip and sending away a wink in the process. 

 

’It’s cute, I’ll give you that’ Bridget smiled and took a sip of her coffee. This was the first time Franky entered this room with a smile on her face. Progress.

 

’Remember the last conversation we had yesterday?’ Franky said and she could not tear her eyes away from Bridget. How is it that everything Bridget does is so god damn sexy to her. The way her eyes closes briefly when the hot liquid reach her mouth. The way she wets her lips before she's gonna say something. The way her eyes shines and her lips turn into a smile when she looks up and meets Franky’s eyes. Franky was sure she could melt right her right now. 

 

’I do’ Bridget said. Her mind went a little further. Of course I do, how could I not. There isn't a day that goes by without you in my mind. 

 

’Well I have thought about it and I know what I want’ Franky said smiling. She could feel her cheeks turning red from the proud gaze from those bright blue eyes.

 

’That is great Franky. I’m intrigued. Do you want to share it?’ Bridget said proudly. She felt warm, she was so happy for Franky. The way her eyes lit up and yelled confidence, yelled hope. Franky was beautiful before, but with this returned confidence she was upright gorgeous. 

 

’I wanna be a lawyer. I wanna finish my studies and become a shit hot lawyer’ Franky said and it felt so good to say it out loud. To say it to Bridget. 

 

’With that brilliant mind of yours I’m sure you are going to make it. It’s not going to be easy but with your determination, intelligence and hard work I know you’re going to make it’ Bridget said and Franky’s smile lit up the entire room. My god she's beautiful when she smiles like that Bridget thought. She then continued;

’Actually I might be able to help with that. I have a friend who works in the admissions office at a pretty decent law school here in Melbourne, I’m sure she’ll be able to help out. If you wouldn't mind I would love to help you get started’ Bridget offered wanting to help her out in any way she could.

 

’Nah you don't need to Gidge, I…’ Franky didn't have time to finish before Bridget piped in.

 

’I want to. Those firms needs someone like you Franky and if I can help just the tiniest bit I would gladly do it. I know that if I ever were put in a situation where I needed help I would be stoked to have you fighting in my corner. You are exceptional’ Bridget thought it couldn't be possible but Franky's smile grew even wider. God dammit those dimples. She probably said more then she should have as well but she didn't care. Franky needed the reassurance because well, she was going to soar as a lawyer! Fuck, I'm screwed. 

 

’Thanks’ she said and really meant it. It was all to much for her really. Hearing those words made her speechless. Did Bridget really think that high off her? It took her a couple of minutes to take it all in before continuing, ’I actually already did 2 years worth of studies’

 

’Why did you stop?’ Bridget asked surprised. She had no idea she had already come this far. Franky hadn't said a word about it before. Franky felt embarrassed. How could Bridget ever relate to the reason she had to drop out? Bridget was and had always been upper class. It was pretty obvious that she never had any troubles with comfort nor money her whole life.  

 

’Couldn't afford it. It’s not like I can rely on wealthy parents can I?’ Franky tried to joke only it wasn't a joke. ’Then I lost one of my jobs and I didn't have enough savings to pay the fees’ Franky said faking a smile. 

 

’It’s admirable, what you did. Working so hard to achieve your dreams. I’ll tell you, studying and only working a part time job is hard on most people. Franky, you amaze me every time we talk’ Bridget said.

 

’Yeh well it doesn't really matter anymore. After all the shit I’ve done I’m never gonna make it. No law firm would hire a low life criminal like me would they?’ Franky stated. 

 

’That’s rubbish. You are not a criminal. You are a good person Franky. If you are referring to the ”crime” leading you here you did nothing wrong Franky, if anything, you did good. You stood up for yourself’ Bridget said. 

 

’Yeh, well the list is long Gidge’ Franky sighed. The shit she's done, man she wished she could erase some of it. 

 

’Want to talk about it?’ Bridget asked.  

It was quiet for a while before Franky spoke.

’I can’t. You’ll hate my guts’ she almost whispered that last part and it suddenly became very real for her. She felt so sick she wanted to throw up. This was going to be it. If she told Bridget everything she had done Bridget would be disgusted. She was sure Bridget would end their sessions and walk away. Walk away without looking back and Franky would never see her again. Was she willing to risk all that? 

 

Bridget's heart ached for Franky, it broke her to see her like this. She looked so afraid, so hurt. Bridget tried to reassure her.

’I won’t hate you, I promise’ she said.

 

’You can’t promise that. You can’t make a promise on something you don’t know shit about’ Franky said with a single tear rolling down her cheek. She had lost count on how many times she had cried in front of Bridget. She didn't really care anymore. This is the real me I guess, an emotional wreck. This is what you turned me into Gidge. A sobbing mess.

 

’I’ve never broken a promise in my life, why now? But it’s okay Franky. I’m not going to pressure you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it’ Bridget said. And, sweet sweet Franky, I could never hate you, in fact it’s quite the opposite. This wasn't the time for a declaration of love though.

 

’I don't know where to start’ Franky started, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Was she really doing this? Bridget gave you an out. You don't have to do this. You wont have to risk everything. In Franky's mind however, if she was ever gonna have a chance with Bridget she knew she had to get this off her chest. Because if she didn't there would always be that wondering between them. Will she find out? Will she leave when she finds out? Will this secret between us tear me down? Bridget had given Franky hope. Hope that Franky had grabbed with both hands. Hope that maybe someday she could be Bridget's girl. Forever. The least Franky could do was to give back. Even if truth hurts. Even if the truth means goodbye.

 

’Start wherever you want. It’s your story to tell Franky. You don't have to tell me everything, we’ll go in your pace’ Bridget said and Franky had the courage to meet her eyes. They were so beautiful, the colour of blue, like the ocean. She saw nothing but honesty in them and it made her courageous. Bridget was her safe place. 

 

She didn't know how but when she opened her mouth and told Bridget about that first time the police came and picked her up there was no stopping her. Words and stories and feelings just poured out of her mouth. She literally couldn't stop talking. Strangely enough, the more she told Bridget the lighter she felt. She couldn't stop neither did she want to. The shame she felt disrupted her a couple of times. Bridget let her be, let her take her time. Other times her stories got disrupted by her sobs, needing time to get oxygen in her lungs and regroup. When that happened Bridget gently took her hand, supporting her, calming her down. The shame and the cries didn't stop her though, she kept going. Dealing drugs, taking drugs, stealing, beatings - taking beatings, falsely accused, foster homes - bad foster homes. Foster moms who didn't give a shit about Franky, they just wanted the money that came with the kids. Her stories were raw and honest. It felt terrifying and good at the same time. Most of her stories she felt like the worst person ever other she just felt mistreated, misjudged. She felt ashamed but yet lighter. She left nothing out. It was now or never.

Bridget had been quiet most of the time, too quiet for Franky's taste but what was she going to say? That Franky did good. Nah, she was actually grateful that Bridget didn't interfere too much. Instead she listened, listened to all her horror stories. She comforted her when Franky needed her to and she calmed her when Franky was about to loose her shit. Never once did she battled an eyelid over what Franky told her, she just sat there with her kind beautiful face and took it all in like a champ. 

 

’Thank you for telling me your story. I know it wasn't easy. You should be proud over the progress you made these weeks Franky. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did and I know it might not feel like it right now, but this will help you heal. I’m proud of you’ Bridget said sincerely. 

 

Franky shrugged in response, she was exhausted. She couldn't register Bridget's kind words. She felt too sick. Too vulnerable. Too ashamed. Their session was coming to and end and all she wanted to do was to get into bed and sleep. She was already standing and on her way when Bridget spoke

 

’Can I ask you a question before you go?’ Bridget asked before their time was up. 

 

’Yeh’ 

 

’I know I haven't known you very long but I can honestly say you have by far the quickest wittiest mouth I’ve ever met. You are so smart. Why haven't you tried using your words instead of your fists? You could easily outtalk anyone with that brilliant mouth of yours’

 

Franky tried to give Bridget a smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes as it usually does. 

’Thats not true is it? It didn't work with you hey?

 

 Oh beautiful, if only you knew. If only you knew. 

Chapter Text

 

H.O.P.E

Hold on. Pain ends.

 

 

Their sessions were over. Just like that. The past month and their 9 sessions together had flown by. Franky was no longer obligated to attend. She had finished. She had done what was asked off her and was officially out of the Melbourne police departments black book. She had paid her crime(s) and if you would have asked her a month ago she would have been stoked to be done but she wasn't. Instead she felt sad. Lost. Alone. Heartbroken in a way.

Their last session had been 2 days ago and it had been a good one to start with. Bridget had fought tooth and nails, she had gone above and beyond to help Franky secure a place to finish her law studies at Melbourne University. Not only that, she had also fixed a scholarship, all fees paid the first year so Franky could settle in and save some money for her remaining years. Franky being Franky had called bullshit when Bridget had told her. Things like that didn't happen to her. It wasn't bullshit though, it was there, right in front of her, in writing. She was going to law school. Bridget had kept her word and given her the push she needed to fulfil her dream. Bridget had listened, I prefer action, and Bridget had delivered. Franky was thrilled. She felt like her life was finally on the right path. However, isn't there a saying that goes something like happiness doesn't last forever.

 

’I wanna see ya outside this place. When can I see you again?’

 

Bridget's heart dropped. She had expected the question, she had thought of her answers and what she was going to say but it didn't make it a tiny bit easier when she saw the hopeful look in Franky's eyes. 

’Franky we can’t. Nothing can happen between us…’ she said but she was interrupted like so many times before. The hopeful look in those green eyes from 5 second ago was already replaced with hurt. Sadness. Franky was hurt and angry and she had no other intention than to show Bridget that.

 

’It's bullshit and you know it Gidge. I know you feel it too’ Franky's voice was raised.

 

’Franky please listen to me. There is a reason why the rules are there. I can’t…’ Bridget said but was cut off yet again.

 

’Oh fuck off. I’m just another one of your dysfunctional patients am I? You got me to open up, I told ya everything and now ya have no clue what to do with me. Ya got what you wanted. I’ve disgusted you, with what I did yeh?’ Franky’s words were harsh. She didn't really mean them but she was hurt and what other way to show that than to fight back.


’Franky you know that’s not true. It has nothing to do with that. I’m not playing any games with you here. I've fa..I care about you and I think you know that. It’s just… like I told you before, we can’t. It would be completely wrong of me, both morally and ethically to put you in that situation, to take advantage of you like that. I can’t do that to you. I won’t compromise you like that. Your deserve more than that’ Bridget pleaded. Please read between the lines Franky. While we are still here this is all I can give. Please hear me. 

 

No such luck. Franky grabbed her hoodie from the armrest and moved closer to Bridget who was still sitting in her chair. Franky was hurt. She fought to keep the tears from falling. The anger was gone, she had let that go. She didn't want to be that angry girl anymore. What she wanted was answers.

 

’What are you afraid of?’ 

 

I’m afraid that what we have is so fucking powerful that I might compromise my entire career. And your life. I’m afraid I’m not going to be enough for you. I’m afraid to hold you back. I’m afraid that I’m already so hopelessly in love with you that the thought to just fuck the rules has crossed my mind. Was what Bridget wanted to say but couldn’t. Afraid of not being able to stop if she started. She met Franky's gaze but remained quiet. Hoping that Franky understood. Understood why she couldn't say anything more. Not here not yet anyway.

All she saw was glossy eyes and clenched fists. Hurt written all over. 5 seconds later the door slammed shut. Franky was gone. 

 

Franky was hurt. For the first time in her life she had let someone in. She had let her walls down and showed Bridget her heart. Her real heart. She had opened up and shared her life. Her tragic childhood, her rebellious youth and her troubled adult life. She had been honest, letting Bridget know the thruth. She had been vulnerable, shown Bridget her real feelings. She had trusted. She had let herself feel and she had fallen hard for the older psychologist and she had been 99% certain that Bridget felt the same. Maybe it is true she thought, love can make you blind. Franky was hurt. Angry. She felt like she had been blindsided. Her heart ached and her body felt weak. It felt like a knife through her heart and she couldn't breath. She remembered the feeling all to well, remembered the memories in her head. This time it wasn't her dad walking away, it was Bridget. Complete heartbreak. 

 

 

Roughly 6 months later

 

 

Franky had just sat through a 3 hour financial law lecture. It wasn't Franky's favourite subject but in order to complete her degree it was just something she had to get through no matter how boring it was. Exposing tax fraud or shutting down multi billion companies doing shady business was not the reasons Franky wanted to be a lawyer. She couldn't care less about that shit. The reason she wanted to become a lawyer was to find assholes like her mum and put them away for good. Put them away before they could hurt innocent children, like she herself had been hurt. Family law was her field and she was going to be shit good at it.

 

’Are you coming with us today?’ Allie asked with a hopeful smile as she and Chris collected their laptops and notes.

 

’Yeh, I’ll be there in a minute’  Franky responded while finishing typing her last notes. Franky had skipped out on a few library afternoon studies with her mates the last couple of days so Allie and Chris smiled walking towards the library happy that their mate were joining them this afternoon. 

Allie and Chris were Franky's new mates. They met during the first weeks of classes and had stuck by each other ever since. The trio were pretty similar. Cheeky, witty, same type of humour. All three of them had baggage from the past, they had all gone through their own traumas. In a weird way it kind of made their friendship stronger. It felt good never to be judged. The only annoying thing about their friendship was that they almost always ended up wanting the same chick when they were out partying. Since Allie also was into girls it had, more than once, happened that they have gone for the same girl. Allie and Chris had made it into some sort of game, keeping tab who got the girl in the end. In the past Franky would have been all over it. To be honest she would have probably won, but not now. Not today. Franky was changed. Franky wasn't interested to fuck just to fuck. She wasn't interested in any of the girls. No one even came close to the one she wanted. There was only one person in her mind despite doing her best to forget about her. No one else mattered but her. Her. Bridget.

 

 

 ——————

 

 

Bridget is laying on her stomach soaking up the last couple of hours of sunshine. It had been a tough week and she was grateful for her friend Vera for ”kidnapping” her and bringing her out to the beach. Her paperwork could wait, it wasn't urgent and she figured it would do her good with a long weekend. She also hadn't seen Vera in a while so it felt great to have some well needed one on one time. It was 4.30 in the afternoon and it was still ridiculously hot outside, her phone app showed 102 degrees fahrenheit. Vera had left 5 minutes ago, in search of some beverages and snacks they could nibble on. The beach wasn't as crowded anymore. Most people had left the scorching sun in favour of their air condition filled homes. The families with younger children had also left thankfully. It wasn't that Bridget didn't like kids, she just found them very annoying at the beach and other public places. Running around screaming and splashing sand all over her towel was just not something that made her happy. Bridget scanned the beach, watching the people around her. It was calmer, quieter. Almost peaceful. 

She saw a blonde women walk out of the water to the left of her, probably 15 m away. She looked young, probably mid twenties. She remembered seeing her playing around in the water before. Where were the others? She could have sworn she saw another 2 heads out there. Hearing laughter she looked to her right. The laughter came from a group of four, also looked like they were around their early twenties. God she felt old. They were drinking beer and one of the guys played on an ukulele. Credit where credits due, the kid could hold a pretty good tune. Bridget smiled, remembering when she herself was in her twenties. Young, carefree and wild. Her whole life ahead of her. It was the best time in her life. She lifted her head and looked behind her in search of her friend but she didn't see her. 

When her eyes returned to the blonde she was sitting roughly 12 meters away. She wasn’t alone anymore. The two friends that Bridget had thought she had spotted in the water had now joined her. Bridget’s breath stopped for a few seconds. Her throat suddenly dry. Her heart rate increased rapidly. It doesn't matter you haven't seen her for 6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days (but who's counting?). You know it’s her even if she sits with her back towards you. She has that effect on you. She has crawled so far under your skin that you curse yourself for allowing it to happen. You haven't forgotten her, you probably never will no matter what happens. You haven't forgotten her because she has stolen a piece of your heart. With her strength. With her charisma. With her vulnerability. With her cheekiness. With her raw honesty. So. fucking. beautiful. 

Sitting close to the water, Franky's colourful tattoos shone bright. They looked even more vibrant on her sun kissed skin combined with the sunlight. She looked fit. She was laughing, god that laugh. It makes your body tingle. She looked happy, really happy. Bridget couldn't stop looking. She was glad Franky hadn't noticed her, it gave her time to perv on her undisturbed. Oh you old lezzo, do you really think you have a chance with her. After everything? Get real Bridget.

 

Bridge! Hey Bridget! Bridget! Look who I ran into!’ Vera yelled when she closed in, Bridget's brother close behind. Vera was usually a shy and quiet person and off all the times, she choose this moment to yell so the whole beach could hear her. Bridget swore under her breath for Vera’s bad timing. She was enjoying her view too much to be interrupted. Franky probably didn’t.…Bridget didn't even have time to finish her thought before Franky's head turned. 

 

——————

 

It was too hot to sit in a library studying something none of them wasn't particularly interested in. They decided to hit the beach instead. Have a nice afternoon chilling in the water and escape the textbooks for a while. It was extremely hot outside and as soon as they arrived they threw the towels in the sand and ran towards the lukewarm water. Franky swam for a while before joining up with the other two who was playing and joking around in the water.

Franky loved the beach, it had become some sorts of a safe place for her. There was something calm just sitting near the water looking out into the horizon. She wasn't listening to the story Allie was telling, to amazed and to in synch listening to the waves crashing against the shore. She heard someone yell Bridge and her mind suddenly went back to golden blonde hair and blue eyes. She closed her eyes and pictured Bridget sitting next to her. In a red bikini smiling at her, holding her hand. There hadn't gone a day without the beautiful psychologist in her mind. For the first time she had opened up, she had let someone in. She had fallen for Gidge. Fallen hard. There was something about her that just drew her in and she found herself unable to fight it. It had all ended in heartbreak though and it still hurt. She heard Bridget being yelled again and thought that there must be at least a little over 100 Bridget’s in Melbourne. What are the chances? She heard Bridget a third time and opened her eyes. But what if? Franky turned her head around and her heart stopped beating for a second. She had to blink a second time to make sure it was real. Green eyes met blue for a second.

Bridget looked like a million bucks. She wasn't in that red bikini her mind had made up, instead she had on a white and she looked even hotter than she remembered. To be fair, to Franky, Bridget always looked like a million bucks but this was something else. She was half naked for fuck sake. Franky’s mind ran wild. Her toned tanned body melted Franky's eyes. She was fit, she was tiny and she was so fucking cute. Franky could not stop staring. Bridget greeted the male with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Franky felt like her heart was used as a punching bag. Must be jealousy. She chuckled at herself. How many times hadn't she ditched angry jealous fucks in the past because she couldn't stand them. Now she was one of them. Oh the karma. How she wished she was the one Bridget threw her arms around. How she wished it was her cheek Bridget’s lips touched. It wasn't until she felt a bony elbow in her ribs that she got back to present. 

’Oi. Franks!’ 

’What?’

’Where did you go?’

’I’m right here dickhead. So what were ya saying?’ Franky grinned and returned her focus to Allie and Chris. That focus didn't last long, her gaze kept going back to Bridget and it wasn't long until she was caught by her friends once again.

 

An hour had passed. Chris and Allie had left a while ago, however Franky was still sat at the same spot on the beach. She didn't have it in her to leave just yet, she was so close to Bridget. What if.. What if what? You think she's just gonna leave her friends and run into your arms and make out like there is no tomorrow? You think she's going to come over and confess how madly in love she is with you and that you're going to live happily ever after?  Yeah, probably not. She looked happy though. She was smiling and talking and laughing with her friends. She looked content. She looked satisfied. Franky sighed and turned her head back towards the ocean, hoping the crystal blue water and the sounds of the waves would take her mind off anything else. 

 

All Bridget wanted to do when she met Franky's green eyes was to go over to her. Maybe she could have but for what reason? Hey bestie and brother, I'm just gonna pop over and say hello to an old client that I also happen to be extremely attracted to. That I like. A lot. Probably not the right moment for that. When it was time to head home for the group before their dinner, she saw Franky was still there. Now is your chance. 

’You guys go ahead. I’ll see you at 8.30’ Bridget told them and they seemed to buy it. She had been slow gathering her things, taking her time getting dressed on purpose. Buying herself some time to make a short detour further down the beach before she went home.

 

’Hi’ Bridget almost whispered careful not to spook the beautiful brunette. If Franky's grin was something to go by it seemed like she had seen Bridget was on her way over. Well, they had been good stealing glances of each other during the afternoon hadn't they.

’Hi Gidge’

’May I?’ Bridget said and gestured to the spot beside her. 

’Sure’ Franky tried to play it cool. Inside she was buzzing. 

’How have you been?

’Yeh. Good. Busy’ ’You?’

 

While they talked Bridget drew patterns in the sand, in a way to keep her calm. To keep her hands from doing what she wanted to do. Roam all over Franky.

’I should go. Can’t be late for dinner or I would never hear the end of it. My friend isn't keen on waiting’ Bridget said and gave Franky a sad smile. Because truthfully, she didn't want to leave. Not without the beautiful brunette.

 

Franky’s eyes followed Bridget’s walk up the beach. Instantly missing the closeness Bridget brought. Missing the feeling just being in Bridget’s presence. Damn, she was so hooked. 

When her eyes returned to the spot Bridget recently left she saw it. Bridget hadn't just been randomly drawing in the sand. That cheeky minx. She had written her number in the sand. HER PHONENUMBER! Under it, in perfect cursive writing stood, Call me x B

 

Fuck yeh. 

Chapter Text

 

 

’You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen

You took me back in time to when I was unbroken

Now you're all I want

And I knew it from the very first moment’

 

 

Franky got home from the beach at 7.45 pm. The first time she checked her phone was 2 minutes later. What did she expect to have happened? That Bridget somehow magically ended up with her number too and couldn't wait to text her. YOU didn't give her your number! YOU didn't think that far. Fucking useless. Deciding to try and take her mind of the number stored in her phone for a moment, she put her phone down on the kitchen counter and headed towards the bathroom. She could use a cold shower to be honest. To cool down. Not only from the hot weather, but also from the heat pulsating in her middle regions being so close to Bridget. 

The cold water didn't help much, but the images of Bridget in a bikini and her own skilful fingers had released some of her tension. For now anyway. You’re so fucked she thought when she saw herself in the bathroom mirror. She barely recognised herself. Her face had soften so much these past months. Her cheeks constantly showing a soft colour red on top of her sun kissed face because she couldn't stop thinking about the hot blonde and it made her blush constantly. There was a relaxed smile on her face. There was something brighter in her green eyes. She looked normal. She looked strong. She looked hopeful.

 

It wasn't long after she had finished her dinner that she snatched her phone from the kitchen bench, typing up a text to Bridget just to delete it straight away. It’s to early. Hold your horses. That was 9 pm. She threw the phone back on the counter and turned on the tv instead. Netflix was usually a good distraction, getting lost in a good tv-show or documentary and forget about her own life for a while. That didn't work either. Nothing worked today for fuck sake. All she could think about was the phone behind her. 

9.30 pm she cursed out loud to herself, jumped over the couch and grabbed her phone. She typed up another message just to delete it a minute later. For fuck sake. Just wait a day at least you needy idiot. 

At 10.20 pm Franky was in bed. She had tossed and turned for what felt like hours. The knowledge that Bridget’s phone number was resting peacefully in her contact list made her too hyped to sleep . Also, in bed at 10 on a Friday night. That wasn't usually how she spent her Friday nights 7 months ago. She's such a rebel these days. How time changes. 

10.38. 10.44. 10.46 pm. It’s like time is standing still, the minutes ticking by painfully slow. Her body is restless, her brain is over thinking and her mind produces one thousand different images of Bridget. Her fingers are itching. Itching to scroll down to Bridget's number and press send. Or press call.

At 11.01 pm she gives up. Gives in. Talk about lack of self control. But she’s never been the patient type has she.

She’s pissed at herself because her excitement makes her nervous and her nervousness turns her into an annoying idiot it seems like. Before she knows it she has sent 4 text messages to Bridget within 25 seconds and she hates herself a little. She's well aware that she hates when people send her a number of texts that could easily fit in one. It annoys the shit out of her. Who does that and who the fuck has she turned into? 

Instead. Beep. BEep. BEEp. BEEP. BEEEEEEP.

Who

The

Fuck

Does

That

?  Sent

Fucking annoying. Her first textS to Bridget and she had made a fool of herself. Oh what Bridget must think. Well what’s done is done. It’s not like she can undo it. Just as she is about to put her phone away her screen lights up. But it’s not a text. It’s not a text! Holy fucking shit, Bridget is calling her.

 

 

——————————-----

 

 

Bridget and Vera had have a great evening. Good food, good drinks and good conversations. Time had flown by and Vera was currently waiting for her Uber driver to pick her up.

’Sure you don't want to share?’ Vera asked one last time. 

’I’m sure’ Bridget replied and gave Vera a warm hug goodbye. They lived in opposite directions, it didn't make sense to Bridget to drag Vera all the way to her place just for her to go back the same way. Sometimes Vera was too kind for her own good. Bridget had seen it first hand and made sure to never take advantage of her like that. She had been burned enough times as it was.

It was a beautiful night, it was warm and quiet and the stars shone bright in the night sky. A walk home wouldn't hurt. She didn't live that far away anyway. Her phone buzzed in her bag and she smiled, thinking it was Vera already checking up on her. Making sure she was on her way home safe and sound. She grabbed her phone and frowned. Just like that, 4 messages had popped up on her screen, an unknown number. As soon as she read them her smile was back.

 

Hey! What ya doing?

Shit, hope I didn't wake you.

Fuck, if I did I’m sorry. 

By the way, It’s Franky. Sorry again if I woke ya.

Sent 11.02 pm

 

She probably shouldn't have done it. The rules and ethics about any sorts of relationship with former clients had not magically disappeared into thin air over night. They were still in place. Still very much there to follow. But what had she expected really? That Franky never took her up on her offer? That Franky would just erase her writing in the sand. Erase her? After all, it was she herself that had written her number down, an invite. Inviting Franky to call her, if she still wanted to. Inviting her to something - a fling? An adventure? One night stand? A relationship? A future? With me. 

It was close to midnight and she had been drinking. Even if she wasn't drunk, she rarely got that far these days, after two generous glasses of wine even she felt a little tipsy. She felt braver than she should have and the alcohol was clearly affecting her judgement. That’s what she blamed anyway.

She saved the unknown number to her contacts and pressed the call button. It didn't take long until she heard that familiar voice that makes her whole body shiver.

 

’Is this for real Gidge? You're actually calling me right now?’

Bridget blushed at Franky's words. 

’It is and I am’

Franky grinned. Fuck. She had never known it to be possible to be this exited just to hear someones voice. She felt like a bloody teenager.

’And don’t worry, you didn't wake me’ Bridget smiled into the phone. Franky was just too fucking cute. Her texts had been so adorable. Then she remembered that maybe she had woken Franky up. It was pretty late after all, even for a Friday. 

’Shit, I didn't wake you did I?’ 

She could hear Franky laugh through the phone. Why are you laughing at… OHH. Bridget realised her mistake. Yeh Franky doesn't seem like the type that sleep texts. Getting nervous and tongue tied doesn't happen Bridget very often but then she had never met anyone like Franky before either. Franky makes her this way. It’s all Franky's fault really. 

’Right’ Bridget replied to her own question, more to herself than to Franky.

’What are you doing Gidge?’

’On my way home from dinner. It’s such a beautiful night that I decided to walk home’ Bridget said and Franky, not on purpose, felt a little jealous not being Bridget's dinner date. 

’Where did you eat?’ she asked wanting to know every tiny little thing about Bridget. What she likes - dislikes. Favourite food, restaurant, drink, colour, music. Favourite everything. 

’Downtown, a place called Nobu, A..’ she got caught off, Franky finished for her.

’Asian styled tapas, that place is the bomb’ 

’It was great. AND they have a delicious dessert menu’

’Gidge come on. Really? Because from what I saw earlier it doesn't look like you’ve eaten a dessert in your whole life’ Franky teased. Gone were her nerves and insecurity. Just hearing Gidget’s voice makes her feel safe and free and she feels like she can be herself. The real her. She loves their banter back and forth. Their flirting, well mostly Franky's flirting. Bridget does it to, but it’s more subtle and Franky thinks it’s cute as hell. She was addicted from the start and she still is. Always will be.

’Oh stop it you’ Bridget tries to downplay but her voice is low and her throat is dry. Franky’s words sets her body on fire. There haven't been anyone to this day that affects her the way Franky does. The way Franky talks to her turns her on. She wonders what will happen to her when she uses more than her words. She will probably explode. Franky’s voice snaps her back to present. 

’Wait a second. Where exactly are you?’ It suddenly dawned on her that Bridget might be close to her and that realisation makes her excited and nervous at the same time.

’I’m almost at the 7/11 on third street’

’NO FUCKING WAY’

That’s literally on the backstreet of Franky's apartment. What are the odds. Bridget’s confused. She doesn't know why being near 7/11 on third street is so unbelievable to Franky. But she’s intrigued. She always is when Franky is involved. 

’Care to elaborate?’ 

’You’re literally 30 seconds away from my digs Gidge’

The thought of being so close to each other makes them both shiver. Franky can hear the sudden change in Bridget's breathing. There's so much attraction between them, so much to still explore. This is new information, Bridget certainly didn't see this coming when she pressed call . So where do we go from here? They're both thinking it. They both want it.

It’s Bridget who brakes the silence at last, simply because it had to be. Franky would gladly have spoken up sooner but she knows it has to be Bridget's choice in the end. It has to be Bridget's choice because she's the one tied up with rules and laws. She's the one who will loose the most if this goes to shit. 

When Bridget finally speaks, it felt like an eternity for Franky, it’s almost a whisper.

’Come walk with me’

Franky grinned. Fucking ace!

’I’m already halfway there’ 

 

Bridget’s mind were a war zone. So you’re really going to do this? You’re really going there? Fuck Bridget. What about your job? Your career? What about the…SHUT UP! Shit. You know what? Yes. I can’t hide it anymore. It’s tiring to fight against something that feels so right. It’s hard to fight against your own heart. So yes! I am going to go there and guess what? You can’t stop me. The heart wants what the heart wants. 

She couldn't hold back anymore. She had no more power in her to fight against it. She loves her job, she really does. She has invested her whole life to be where she is today and she would never change a thing. All her life had revolved around work, and consciously or unconsciously, she never fully invested in anything or anyone else. Up until 7 months ago that is. 7 months ago she met this charming, angry, tatted up brunette with the cheekiest smile she’s ever seen. It was far from Bridget’s usual type, but fuck it if Franky hadn't turned her whole world upside down. Franky was strong, brave and smart. She was vulnerable, fragile and sensitive. She was a fighter and a lover and Bridget had fallen hard. She had fallen so hard that it was no longer a choice to make. It had already been done, she had made her choice a long time ago. 6 months 2 weeks and 4 days ago to be exact. 

 

Franky’s heartbeat stopped for a second when she rounded the corner of her apartment building. How was it possible that Bridget looked hotter and hotter for every time she saw her? Fuck she looked good enough to eat. What she saw next was forever going to be treasured in her heart no matter what happened. The way Bridget’s smile lit up the whole fucking street when she noticed Franky on the other side of the road. The way her eyes travelled down her body and then up again, appreciating every little curve on Franky's body, checking her out. Like she was a pray that she couldn't wait to sink her teeth into. Franky was fairly certain she looked exactly the same. People walking past them must think they were crazy. Fuck them Franky thought. She didn't care about anyone else. The only one that mattered was standing on the other side of the street, right in front of her. The air felt electric, like it knew there were something special about to happen.

Franky looked to her right then her left and then right again. Then left and then right another time before crossing the road. The way her life had been she hadn't been surprised if she was hit by a car on her way over to the love of her life. Her only love. So better safe then sorry she thought. 

She jogged over the street, eager to get to Gidge. Her Gidge - hopefully. They were close now. They both smiled. Fuck. You could feel the attraction. The tension. The want. Franky took another step closer and Bridget did the same. Franky’s grin had no limits.

’That was fast’ Bridget teased.

They were so close they could touch each other if they both reached out.

’Had to. Was afraid you wouldn't be here, that you had changed your mind’

And there it was. The raw honesty and vulnerability that Bridget had fallen in love with. 

Another step. Bridget could feel Franky's warmth. They hadn't been this close since that first day they met, when Franky kissed her. Bridget’s chest tightened and her stomach felt like it was hosting a party for a thousand butterflies. Another step. Green eyes met blue. Franky carefully reached her right hand slowly up towards Bridget’s cheek. Caressing gently. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and Bridget sunk into her touch. Oh my god. Had she ever been this turned on before? 

Franky bit her lip. Bridget was a god damn goddess. Franky’s eyes travelled between ocean blue eyes and pink kissable lips. Fuck she wanted to kiss her so bad. Bridget gasped when she felt Franky's warm breath on her, that’s how close they were. Franky leaned in, stopping just before their lips touched, giving Bridget a chance to stop. Giving her one last opportunity to get out - to change her mind. Because if Bridget kissed her now Franky would never let her go. Ever. Fuck. It felt like hours. Her insecurity started creeping up on her. Was this it? Was she going to be rejected once again? Then she felt the softest lips on hers and she wasn't sure if it was real or just a dream. Forget that it felt like hours, time was now standing still. Bridget’s arms circled around Franky’s neck, her fingers playing with her hair. Bridget deepend the kiss and Franky couldn't help but moan. Holy shit this shit is real. She’s kissing Bridget Westfall. She’s kissing Bridget Westfall on a sidewalk in the middle of the night and fuck it feels good. Better then anything she imagined. The kiss was soft and slow and Bridget tasted heavenly. She was perfect and Franky could not get enough. Franky’s hands made their way to Bridget’s waist, pulling her as close as she could. None of them wanted the kiss to end but the lack of air in their lungs made them part ways. Bridget rested her head against Franky's chest, her breathing matching the rhythm of Franky's heartbeat. 

’Wow’ Bridget breathed out.

’Yeh’ Franky filled in.

They stood their for a while just enjoying each other, enjoying finally being together. Franky leaned in for another peck before voicing what both of them were thinking.

’So…what happens now Gidge?’ 

Bridget smiled.

’What do you want to happen? Bridget teased. 

’I’m pretty sure I’ve made that clear’

Bridget, who was still nestled in Franky's arms, sneaked her hand under Franky's shirt, caressing Franky's back, teasing her, almost tickling her. It felt good to finally feel the skin she had longed for under her fingertips and it didn't disappoint.

Franky was intoxicated. This new Bridget was feisty. She was flirty. She was defiantly a match for Franky, she could give just as good as she could take and it made Franky even more excited. Franky could feel the goosebumps raise where Bridget touched her and she was sure her body could combust right here right now. 6 months of yearning and dreaming. Bridget's teasing made her heart do double beats and she wondered if it was possible to die from being to aroused? But hey, what a way to go right.  

’Mmm I see’ Bridget purred.

’Come on Gidge, I need to know what you want’ 

Bridget had to stand on her tippy toes to give Franky a kiss. Franky swore she saw stars. There was so much passion, love and sincerity in the way Bridget kissed her. When they parted she felt Bridget take her hand and lead her down the street. Before she had time to open her mouth Bridget smiled at her and Franky knows that smile. She knows what it means. She matched Bridget's smile.

’I’m pretty sure I’ve made that clear too Franky’

Yes you have, yes you have indeed. 

 

 

Chapter Text

Love is not ”if” or ”because”. 

Love is ”anyway” and ”even though” and ”in spite of”

 

”True love doesn't meet you at your best. 

It meets you in your mess”

 

 

When they arrived to Bridget’s house, Bridget had let Franky explore her surroundings for herself while she had excused herself in order to dress into something more comfortable. From the outside the 2 story house didn't look too big but the inside, with the open plan area it felt like a fucking mansion. The house was a beautiful mix of modern and vintage. Old antique furnitures combined with more luxury ones. On the walls that was painted in soft light colours hung family photos and flashy old, probably expensive, art. 

On one side of the living room was a cosy lounge like area and on the other side the wall was covered by a beautiful wooden bookshelf. The bookshelf was filled with books and Franky couldn't help but walk over to do a quick scan because she too loved a good read once in a while. Just as she thought, most of the books were old psychology literature. She also found a couple of old classics written by Jane Austen and Mark Twain amongst others. Her eyes stopped on To kill a mockingbird and when she reached for it another book fell out and for a second she thought she must have read it wrong. It turned out she wasn't wrong when she took a second look. Gidge, your naughty girl. A kama sutra book, and it looked well read too, if the amount of tiny post it notes sticking up was anything to go by. She made a mental note to bring it up to Bridget later, not at all uninterested to know if that was something that could happen in the near future. Smirking, she left the bookshelf and turned around to the kitchen and holy fuck, it looked like it belonged in a five star restaurant. It looked like a dream.. the kitchen island, the cabinets, the work space, the modern oven and the flashy knifes that hung on the wall. I could do wonders in here she thought. What she wouldn't do to spend her evenings in here. She would cook something while Bridget sat at one of the barstools drinking a glass of wine. Making small talk about their days. Then they would eat and Franky would never tire of hearing Gidge's praise about how good it was. Then to top the evening off, she would serve her a dessert. A dessert that contained off sweet lovemaking on the kitchen table, or kitchen island - or both. She couldn't wait for it to happen 

 

Meanwhile in the bedroom, Bridget had sobered up and started second guessing her actions. What in the world am I thinking? Hooking up with a client? Correction, former client, but still. The rules were the same. Psychologists are forbidden to engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients for at least two years after cessation or termination of therapy. 2 YEARS! Bridget sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands trying to get a grip on her self and on her thoughts. Never in her 20 years of working as a psychologist has she ever, not even the tiniest bit, coming close to the situation she has found herself in now. But at the same time, during her 40 years on earth, she hadn't been this drawn, this captivated and intrigued by another person either. Some people say the heart want what the heart wants. Bridget believes that, of course she did, because it’s true. You can't control your heart, you don't have the power to decide what you feel. It just happens. But what if what the heart wants means the career and life you worked so god damn hard for, and are so bloody good at, will mean nothing. It will all be forgotten because you did something wrong. But also what if what your heart wants is for you to experience true love. To meet and fall in love with the love of your life. The person you did not know existed until randomly out of nowhere, on a late Thursday evening, showed up on one of your group sessions. The person you think about during the day, the person you dream about during the night and the person who makes the heart, your heart, beat just that little bit faster. But what if. What if. A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

 

It had been 20 minutes since Bridget walked upstairs and surely it didn't take that long to change even for a classy girl like Bridget. Franky was starting to worry that Bridget had fallen asleep, or even worse, what if she had changed her mind and climbed out the window? No, Bridget wouldn't do that. Would she? 

Franky climbed the same stairs she had seen Bridget do when they got here and quietly walked the hallway. She stopped outside the only closed door and tapped gently.

’Gidge’ she whispered, not wanting to scare her. 

Hearing nothing she called out again and slowly opened the door, nervous, excited, scared because she didn't know what to expect.

Seeing Gidge on the bed, in black yoga pants and a cute white oversized t-shirt, deep in thought and with a troubled look on her face made her sad, made her anxious. 30 minutes ago she felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Now she felt the opposite, she had a bad feeling. So this was it. Bridget had finally come to her senses. I was never going to be good enough for her. No, stop it!! Don't feel sorry for yourself. Do something. 

 

Franky took a step inside, her eyes on Bridget's searching for some kind off approvement that it was okay and she got it in the form of the saddest smile she’s ever seen. She closed the door and sagged down on the floor, her back resting against the wall. They were both quiet for a minute. Bridget collecting her thoughts and Franky working up her courage. It was Franky who broke the silence in the end.

 

’Gidge, you okay?’ she asked, her voice full of concern. 

 

Bridget gave her that same sad smile as before, then she shuffled around a bit too mirror Franky’s position on the floor, her back against the bed frame. They were now sat in front of each other, 6 feet apart. She met Franky's green eyes and god, she swore she could look into them for the rest of her life and never tire. 

 

’Pretty dickish move to drag you all the way here just to hide in the bedroom huh?’ she chuckled. For heavens sake, YOU'RE 40! You’re not a damn teenager. 

Franky couldn't help but laugh too because of the irony. It was a dick move indeed and she was usually the one to do it. How things change. 

Bridget fiddled with her ring for a while, a tic she had since she can remember, and she doesn't know how or why but it relaxes her. She met Franky's eyes again.

 

’Sorry i’m a mess but my head is all over the place. I can't think straight. Look Franky’ she paused, her throat dry all of a sudden. ’I want to apologise. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. I shouldn't have kissed you. God dammit, i shouldn't even have approached you on the beach. It’s not fair to you’ 

 

Here we go again. Come on Gidge, stop fighting this. We both know it. What happened an hour ago was not fake. It was as real as it gets. 

 

’I don’t accept it’ Franky said still calm and collected. ’I won’t accept it because you're wrong’. It was Franky's turn to look away now, too regroup.

 

’Franky we can’t. I told you. There is strict rules when it comes to relationships between patient/therapist..’ Bridget said but got interrupted by Franky who had gotten up from the floor and was now standing closer to Bridget.

 

’I know there is, but we can work something out. We can be careful, it can be our dirty little secret’ she tried with her usual flirty bravado.

 

’Secrets always come back to haunt you. I can’t risk you getting hurt because of me’

 

’It’s bullshit and you know it. What are you so afraid of? Franky’s voice was irritated and loud. She was fighting really hard not to reverse into her old days.

What I’m afraid of? A long fucking list to be honest with you. Loosing my job - my license. Get charged and go to prison? Loosing my reputation, yeh i know it’s selfish, but that’s not the main part. I’m so fucking afraid of loosing you, it’s not only me who can get in trouble if this comes out. 

So many things to say but nothing came out. She was frozen.

 

’Look at me Gidge. Look me in the eyes and tell me…’ 

Bridget was looking down on her hands. She couldn’t meet her eyes. 

’Gidge!’ Franky said again a little louder to get Bridget to listen to her. When Bridget finally looked up and met her gaze, she tried again. Her voice sounding frightening honest and raw.

’Look me in the eyes and tell me that kiss meant nothing to you. That you felt nothing? You do that and I’ll walk away, I promise you, you never have to see me again. But tell me first if it really meant nothing to you?’ 

 

Of course it fucking meant something, you have no idea how much it means. But Bridget stayed silent, she didn’t say anything. She felt tears on her cheek and when she saw Franky dry her eyes with her sleeve she couldn't look at her anymore, it was all too much. She hid her face in her knees. Wow Bridget. You really behave like a heartless bitch today.

 

She could hear the door open and she heard Franky sigh before she spoke;

’You’re such a hypocrite aren't ya? Miss talk about everything. But it doesn't apply when it doesn't suite you does it?’ Franky said, hurt written all over. Then, the door slammed and Franky was gone. It wasn't long before she heard a second bang, indicating that Franky had left her house. Probably for good. 

 

When she heard the second door close she started to sob, like really sob. She couldn't hold it in anymore. You're a hypocrite echoed in her head. It hurt hearing those words, especially from Franky, but it was so true wasn't it. She had done the exact opposite to what she teaches and also hurt the one person she never wanted to hurt in the first place. Her body ached and she felt completely numb. Had she just done the biggest mistake in her life? Love is a beautiful feeling and most people get to experience it a couple of times during their lifetime. However, finding true love, finding your soulmate is rare. Some people never do. Bridget had found hers. Had she also lost hers before she really had her?

It took along 20 minutes for her to calm down and when her pulse slowly but surely got back to normal it was like she could finally see things clear. It was like the sun had finally found it’s way through the dark clouds. Bridget, what have you done?? she whispered to herself. She was never going to be whole without Franky by her side. Nothing will matter without Franky. They belonged together, no matter what. There had been something special between them from the start, like an invisible bond that connected them on a deeper level. She loved Franky with all her heart. Franky was her soulmate, her true love. Fuck everything else because it won't matter if Franky isn't there. But what about the consequences? Well, the heart want what the heart wants. 

 

She didn't bother put any more clothes on, she was in a hurry. She needed to run after her before it was too late. For a woman who hated to run, she sure was ready to run around the world to get to Franky. To get to the women she love.

She ran down the stairs, grabbed her keys at the same time as she made a critical decision. Running in heels or thongs? Because in front of her, those were the only two options, there was no time to go through the wardrobe. She opted for the safest and fastest, not wanting to take a detour to the hospital with a broken ankle. Thongs it is then. She opened the door without slowing down only to trip on her thongs and fall, slamming straight into Franky who was sitting on the stairs leading up to the porch. Turned out thongs weren't that safe after all. 

 

Franky heard the door open but didn't expect Bridget to crash into her back, it took her by surprise.

’Ouch, WHAT THE..’ she started, startled by the sudden head in her shoulder but soon concern took over when she saw Bridget on all four with only one thong on her foot. She stood up and helped Bridget up as well.

’You alright? Are you hurt?’ she said, giving her a quick look over to see if there was any damage done to her.

’Oh Franky, sorry, I didn't expect you to be here. I was on my way to you. I.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean too. I tripped and then I just…I’m sorry, are you hurt? ’ Bridget spitted out, it was like she couldn't stop talking now. Where were her eager to talk 20 minutes ago?

 

’Just my heart’ Franky said and gave Bridget a sad smile. She was on her way to leave when Bridget caught her elbow, wanting - needing her to stay. Franky tensed at first  when she felt someone grab her but softened immediately when she looked at Bridget. Bridget closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes she was met by green eyes staring back at her.

 

’Ask me again’ she breathed out.

’What?’ Franky was confused.

’Ask me again’ she said again, her eyes never leaving Franky’s.

Franky was still confused at first but then she understood, then it hit her. She kept quiet for a while, just standing there, her eyes roaming all over Bridget until she locked eyes with Bridget. They were the bluest eyes she’s ever seen and she would never get enough of them even if she tried. 

 

’Gidge, i’m still very much angry with you, You’ve hurt me..’ Franky said.

 

’I know, and I’m very sorry for that. I will get to that later if you let me but first. Ask me again?’

 

’Gid..’ she started but changed her mind. ’Bridget’. She never called her Bridget, but this was serious and she needed Bridget to know that she was. ’Look me in the eyes and tell me that kiss didn't mean anything? That what we feel for each other means nothing? You look me in the eyes and tell me I mean nothing to you?’

 

There were silence for a couple of seconds when they just stood there, appreciating each other and looking into each others eyes. Bridget let go off Franky's elbow and instead her hands linked with Franky's hands, dragging her closer towards her before she spoke;

 

’It mattered. You matter. More then you know’ she whispered, and her knees almost gave way when she saw the grin on Franky's face. Bridget put her arms around Franky’s neck and Franky hands travelled to Bridget's waist, hands resting dangerously close to bare skin. Franky pulled Bridget closer, her head bent down, so they were forehead to forehead. Noses touching and lips inches away from each other, Bridget continued;

 

’I’m in love with you’ Bridget said, a tear rolled down her cheek. Franky wiped it away with her thumb, caressing her cheek and swiped her thumb over her lips slowly and lovingly.

 

’I’m in love with you too’ she said and leaned in, to give Bridget a kiss. The kiss when it happened was slow, loving, passionate and honest. It was filled with so many emotions and feelings and as cliché as it sounds, it felt like time stood still. When it ended Bridget took a step back, held her hand out for Franky to take. 

 

’Let’s get inside. We need to talk, and I promise you this time I will talk’ she started walking inside, Franky behind her. She stopped and turned around just in front of the door and said cheekily,

’and let’s also continuing that kiss’ she smiled. This time it wasn't a sad smile, this time it was that adorable smile that reached her eyes that Franky loved so much. 

Chapter Text

You’re that ”Once in a lifetime dream come true”

 

 

Franky woke up to bright sunshine shining through the window. She blinked a couple of times so her eyes could adjust to the bright daylight before looking at the clock behind her on the wall. 9.45. Holy fuck! When had she last slept this long? She can’t remember when she fell asleep, it could have been late night or early morning. Somehow she ended up sleeping on the couch and it probably explains why her back was so sore. She stretched her back carefully and thought back to just a couple of hours ago. Had everything just been a cruel nightmare? Then she felt Gidget in her arms, her body pressed close to Franky’s front and she remembered that last night might have started out as a nightmare but ended up the best dream possible. This was real wasn't it? She snuggled closer to the petite blonde who was sleeping comfortably and peacefully in her arms on the tiny couch and she wondered if the gorgeous blonde was as happy as she was. Franky had never been a fan of cuddling but laying here with Gidge, she wondered if she ever would tire holding her like this. Not remembering the last time she had woken up this happy, a huge smile on her face as the last couple of hours came back to her. 

Last night, on the porch, when Bridget had asked Franky to come back inside so she could talk, she had indeed been telling the truth. Franky chuckled at the memory because her Gidge had not been able to stop talking. All her feelings and emotions and scares had come pouring out of her mouth and she had explained why she had tried so hard to fight against the inevitable. She was scared - had been scared, to loose her licence, her career. But also, scared for Franky’s sake. That she would get caught up in the middle and maybe loose everything she worked so got damn hard for. Franky had listened and she had been understanding, knowing it wasn't as black and white as she had been seeing it. She could still feel the goosebumps that arose on her body when Bridget had told her what changed her mind.

’I know I told you I could loose my license - my job. For 20 years my career has been my whole life. I have loved every second of it. It’s what I have been good at. But when you left, when I heard that door slam and you were gone, none of that meant nothing if it also meant not having you in my life. From the first time I saw you I was hooked. You are different, you are special. That connection we have, I’ve never felt that with anyone before. So when you left it suddenly felt like I had nothing. It really felt like you brought my heart with you. I felt empty. Nothing mattered anymore, because you own my heart.  A life without you is not the life I want. I’ve fallen pretty damn hard for you Franky’’

Franky had kissed her hard then, showing her that she felt the same. Showing her with actions instead of words because there were no words that could describe her feelings towards Bridget like her actions could. They had come to a mutual agreement to keep their relationship to themselves for the time being. The less people that know the better. 1 year was going to fly by and after that the consequences would be much lighter. After that they had ended up on the couch just talking about everything and nothing. Getting to know those tiny bits about each other like favourite cheeses and favourite movie, worst pet peeves. They had cuddled, there had been stolen kisses here and there, full on make out sessions, some groping, but mostly just enjoying being together, being in each other arms. Finally.  

 

 

Bridget stirred when Franky strengthened her arms around her, afraid that if she wasn't holding onto her tight enough that she would somehow vanish into thin air. She loosened her arms when she felt Bridget stir again, afraid maybe she was holding on too tight and Bridget felt uncomfortable. She couldn't have been more wrong. Bridget wriggled around so she was now facing Franky, her eyes still closed and a cute smile on her lips. ’Morning’ she rasped out in her sleepy voice and Franky’s throat suddenly got very dry. Gidge’s morning voice was sexy as hell and it did things to Franky’s already aroused middle section. Half asleep Gidge was adorable and Franky’s heart grew wider.

’GOOD morning’ Franky responded and smiled back leaning in to give Bridget a peck on her nose. Bridget scrunched her nose and Franky thought that might be the cutest thing she’s ever seen. Bridget snuggled closer to Franky’s chest, her lips almost touching Franky's chest, her warm breath tickling Franky. Franky’s body was on fire. 6 months of waiting, yearning and want and now to finally have her in her arms, it was a bloody miracle Franky hadn't already exploded. The need she felt to worship every inch of Bridget’s body, to be inside of her, to map out every single freckle on her body and make love to her over and over again until the sun came dawn was the only thing Franky could think of. 5 months ago Franky would have already been on top of her, taking what she needed, what she wanted. Not in a forceful way by any mean, but with that witty charm and cocky confidence she has. This was different though, this wasn't just some random girl, some meaningless fuck. This was her dream girl, her Gidge, and she didn’t just want to take what she wanted when she wanted it. What if Bridget wasn't up for it, what if she had read Gidge wrong? Maybe she wasn't a sex in the morning person or maybe she thought it would be too soon, and FUCK! There’s so much stuff they yet have to learn about each other. She was again overthinking things and self doubting herself, when suddenly Bridget, with her eyes still closed, started to kiss her way up Franky’s chest. Franky’s heart rate spiked, Gidge’s lips on her body felt so fucking good that she could have orgasmed right there on the spot. Maybe it didn't matter that they hadn't spoken about everything yet, it seemed like Gidget already could read her minds. 

 

Franky, in one swift motion, rolled Bridget to her back, while she spun on top. Bridget hadn't expected that and opened her eyes only to be met by the cheekiest grin and the greenest eyes she’s ever seen staring back at her. She had wanted to make Franky feel good first but how could she be annoyed when she saw the look Franky gave her. And also, how many times hadn't she dreamt of this moment, having Franky on top of her about to have her wicked way with her. Her time would come eventually. Franky leaned in slowly and kissed Bridget, slowly at first but it got passionate and heated pretty quick. Her tongue grazed Gidge’s teeth and she was permitted entrance instantly. They lay liked that for a while, feeling each other, tasting each other. It felt so fucking good kissing Bridget fucking Westfall. When she started to feel Bridget squirm underneath her she kissed her way down towards her chest, stopping on her neck, to pay a little more attention to the sensitive spot she found there last night. When her lips came in contact with Gidge’s singlet, as cute as it was, she knew instantly it needed to be gone.

’Can I take this off?’ she asked between kisses.

’Please’ was Bridget’s response and it was gone in a second. The sight underneath her, Bridget naked expect her panties was a sight she will never forget. Bridget was sexy as hell, her arms were toned and her stomach was perfectly flat. She was so damn tiny but she fit perfectly together with Franky but most of all she was the most gorgeous woman Franky had ever seen. Franky’s attention was stuck on 3 perfect freckles just under her right breast and it quickly became Franky’s favourite. She paid extra attention to Bridget’s breast, sucking, licking and grabbing, making Bridget moan loudly.

’Oh god it feels good’. 

Franky’s thigh fell down between Bridget's legs and she could feel the wetness through Bridget's cotton panties on her own leg and damn if she wasn't thinking of going straight there. God damn, she was so fucking aroused. When she tried to get further down, the armrest at the end of the couch, stopped her. As hot as it would be to take Bridget on the couch Franky had other ideas. She had bigger plans then this, and also, Bridget deserved better then a quickie in the living room. Franky had dreamt about this moment many times and she was going to take her time. She was going to worship every inch of the beautiful psychologists body and really show her how much she cared about her. 

She put her arm around Bridget’s back, ’wrap your legs around me’ she mumbled against Bridget lips, never wanting to break their kiss. Bridget did as she was told and Franky raised from the couch, with Gidge wrapped like a monkey around her. She carried her to the bedroom, all the while she kissed, sucked and licked Bridget's neck skilfully. Like she knew all along what Bridget liked, like they had done this for years and years. Bridget couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips and Franky gasped in response. The noises Bridget was making was music to her ears. Fuck fuck fuck, this is really happening. Bridget was still wrapped around Franky when Franky's knees hit the bed and she gently laid Bridget down on her back. She crawled up Gidge’s body slowly, taking her time kissing every inch of her skin. She left a trail of kisses over Gidge’s already soaked panties, and when she heard Bridget whimper all she wanted to do was to rip those pink undies in pieces and dive straight in. She smelled so fucking good and she couldn't wait to taste her. But Franky was a tease and she wanted to take her time, prolong Gidge’s pleasure. She kissed her way up Bridget’s body until her lips met hers and their tongues danced together in a beautiful slow dance.

Bridget was a fucking goddess, she was so fucking gorgeous. Franky leaned back for a second just to watch her. Taking a mental picture of a naked Bridget all ready for her. She has never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Bridget however didn't like the sudden loss of contact and opened her eyes. The way Franky was looking at her was something else, she could feel herself starting to blush. No one had ever looked at her the way Franky did and it did things to her that she couldn't even imagine. She squirmed underneath Franky, seeking friction where she could.

’Please Franky’ Franky only grinned at her.

’You’re so fucking beautiful’ was Franky’s answer but before she had time for a second look Bridget dragged her towards her, lips crashing together in a heated kiss. Bridget’s body was on fire.

Franky’s hand massaged Bridget’s breast while she kissed her way down from Bridget’s mouth. She took her nipple in her mouth and bit gently before soothing it with her tongue. 

’Oh god, Franky, please’

’What do you need?’ she kissed along her ribs, down to her abs, intoxicated by the way Gidge’s body reacted to her touch. She could see the goosebumps rising on her skin wherever she touched her. 

’I need you’ came her breathy respond. Franky wanted to drag this out as long as possible but took pity on her. Fuck if she was this fucking turned on, she just wondered how Gidge hadn't self combusted yet. Franky swiped her tongue over her panties, her hot breath teasing earning another desperate moan from Gidge. She hooked her fingers on each side of the thin fabric and dragged them down and threw them on the floor, much to Bridget’s delight. Franky kissed her way up her thigh, stopping inches away from Bridget’s center, making Bridget groan impatiently. Finally she swiped her tongue where Bridget wants her the most and she loves the way her body responds to her touch. Bridget doesn't just tastes heavenly, she tastes divine. It doesn't take long before she feels Bridget is close, feels her tugging at her shoulders, wanting her up there with her. She replaces her tongue with her fingers and moves up her body, and Bridget's hands is wrapped around her neck as soon as she reaches. Bridget drags Franky into a kiss and it's so fucking hot knowing she’s tasting herself when they kiss. She kissed her passionately and when her free hand reaches down to caress Gidge’s breast, it all becomes too much for Gidge and she comes hard. Franky’s movements continues, but in a slower speed, wanting Bridget to ride out the waves of her orgasm. 

 

2 hours and multiple orgasms later, they’re laying naked in bed, a thin sheet over them. Franky is on her back, her arms resting protectivly around Gidget, who's body is snuggled into Franky's side. Franky’s hand is stroking Gidge’s arm lovingly. 

’Tell me this is real Gidge’

Bridget smiles and shifts around, so she comes face to face with Franky. She presses her lips softly against Franky's.

’It is baby. I’m here. You’re here’

'Holy shit' Franky mumbles, like she still really can't believe it.

’I love you Franky’

’I love you too Gidge’

 

 

 

1,5 year later

 

They were walking along the beach, on their way home from Vera’s house. They had spent the evening with their friends, barbecuing and drinking cocktails. All of their friends had been there, Allie, Booms, Chris and Vera, Will, Jake and Linda, all colleagues and friends from Wentworth. It had been a great evening with lots of laughter and good conversations, a perfect way to rewind after a long work week. They were walking hand in hand enjoying the quiet sound from the waves in the ocean. Suddenly Franky stopped, making Bridget almost fall over.

’Franky what are you doing?’ Bridget said, surprised and confused to the sudden stop.

Franky was looking out over the ocean, her favourite place in the whole wide world, well, her second favourite place. Her first was, and always will be in Bridget’s arms. Because where Bridget was, Franky would be, and everything would be alright. They stayed quiet for a moment, hand in hand, both looking out into the horizon. It was a beautiful evening, the night sky, the stars, the calm ocean. Then suddenly Franky spoke,

’You know, sometimes I still can’t believe this is my life’

Bridget wrapped her right arm around Franky's waist, her head resting on Franky’s chest. She snuggled further into Franky, letting her know she was right here, but remained silent knowing there was more to come.

Franky sighed, and continued.

’My life could have been very different if I hadn't met you and I still wonder sometimes what the hell I did right in my past life to ever deserve you. I know we have had our ups and downs and i’m not always easy to be with and yet by some fucking huge miracle you’re still here, with me’

She released the breath she was holding. It was still hard for her to talk and open up about her feelings but Gidge never forced her, never prodded her about it. She never held it against her and she was always there when Franky broke, too pick up the pieces and glue her back together. Franky was forever grateful for that. 

Bridget kissed her cheek before snuggling back into Franky’s warm embrace.

’I am and I’m not going anywhere without you. Ever’ Bridget said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

And that, right there, was why Franky was trying so damn hard to be a better person, to be more open towards Gidge. Whenever Franky had needed her, Bridget had always showed up and given her more then she ever knew she needed. Bridget was her rock, her diamond, her everything and she deserved the world. Franky loved Bridget with all her heart. She had never loved anyone the way she loved the beautiful blonde and she was forever grateful for everything she had done for her. Without Bridget she wouldn't have the life she was living today. Franky took Bridget's face in her hands and kissed her like her life depended on it. A kiss that would tell Bridget everything she couldn't put into words and hoped she would feel how much she meant to her, how much she needed her, how much she craved her. The kiss only ended because both of them needed air, and they stood close together, their foreheads resting against each other - their favourite position. They stood like that in silence for a couple of minutes, just enjoying being close together. 

Bridget gently and lovingly started to kiss Franky’s neck, working her way upwards slowly. Franky moaned. She would never get tired of the way Gidge’s lips felt on her skin. When she got to her sensitive spot just under her ear, she sucked gently, earning yet another moan. 

’Up for a swim?’ Bridget whispered, her lips close to Franky's ear - and this right here, was one out of the thousand reasons why Franky loved her so much. She was so fucking spontaneous and the way she could make Franky crumble from her touch was something no one else could. Franky stood speechless for a second, too turned on to actually think. She saw the way Bridget’s eyes sparkled of mischievous and arousal and she quickly mimicked Bridget's actions and unbuttoned her pants and shirt. Franky was faster to undress and she slapped Gidge’s bum on her way out into the ocean yelling ’last one in is a rotten pig’. The water wasn't warm but it was not cold either, it was the perfect temperature too cool off their burning bodies. The ocean was calm and when Bridget finally got in they gravitated towards each other like magnets. Franky’s arms drew Bridget in, her hands squeezing her ass before they fell a little further down, down to her thighs and lifted her up in her arms. Bridget wrapped her legs around Franky and their lips met in a sensual kiss. Franky slid Bridget’s undies away and entered her earning a moan from Gidge. The sounds that sometimes came out of Bridget did things to Franky she never thought was possible. She kept a steady pace with her fingers while her thumb circled her clit. She felt her own arousal build up and her eyes rolled back when she felt Bridget inside of her, matching her own pace. They were both close and when Bridget felt Franky’s mouth licking and sucking on her nipple she soon fell over the edge, moaning Franky’s name over and over again. It wasn't long after Franky followed the same route. 

 

They stayed in the ocean, Bridget still safely wrapped in Franky’s arms. Franky kissed her nose then her cheek and finally her lips. She pulled away an inch, so their lips were barely touching, their eyes never leaving each others.

’Marry me’ Franky whispered against her lips. Bridget wasn't sure if she heard it right. She wasn't sure if it was a question, a statement or just a joke. Where the heck did this come from? Not that it wasn't unwelcome, but it was certainly very surprising. 

’Franky..’ Bridget didn't have time to finish before Franky’s lips was pressed against her again. It was a quick peck but it got the job done, shusshing Bridget.

’Just hear me out Gidge’ Bridget nodded dumbstruck.

’I know we haven't talked about this, or that this might be too soon but for the first time in my life Gidge, I know what I want’ she never once took her eyes away from Bridget. 

’I love you Bridget and to be honest with you, I think I have since the first time I saw you. Even if I didn't know what my feelings meant back then, with my knowledge today, I reckon yeh, it was love at first sight alright’ she chuckled at herself how clueless she was only 2 years ago. 

’You’ve made me a better person, you’re the only person I trust completely. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy and being the person you deserve’. She paused and took a deep breath. Traditionally, now was the time for her to get down on one knee but how the fuck was that suppose to work. She would drown. She hadn't really thought this proposal through had she. She smiled against Bridget's lips, still only an inch apart. She walked a couple of meters in to the shore, until the water was knee high on Bridget and gently put her down. She intertwined their fingers and went down on one knee. Bridget’s heart stopped. 

’Bridget Emily Westfall, my Gidget. You are the biggest part of me and I love every single thing about you. Will you marry me and make me the happiest woman on planet earth?’ she looked up with hopeful eyes and a nervous smile. Bridget met her gaze with teary eyes. How on earth Franky chose her of all the woman she would never know but she felt like the luckiest person alive. She had never loved anyone the way she loved Franky and she had never been loved the way Franky loved her. Even if the question came as a surprise and a little unexpected, she had known the answer since the first time she met Franky Doyle.

’Yes. Yes baby, of course I will. I love you baby, so much’ she said and tugged at Franky’s hand, wanting her to get up. When Franky was halfway up Bridget threw herself around her neck, eager to kiss her soon to be wife. Franky wasn't ready for the force that came with Gidge’s eagerness and lost her balance, making both of them fall into the water. None on them cared. Bridget’s lips were on Franky’s and they kissed until there wasn't any more air in their lungs. When they parted, Franky pressed her forehead against Bridget’s,

’You really are my once in a lifetime dream come true’ she whispered and kissed Gidge again. A kiss that was filled with so much love. So much hope. So much happiness. Franky had never before looked forward to her future. Now she couldn't wait for it. For her future. Her future together with Bridget. Forever. Until death do us part.

 

 

Fin-