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The Devil's Contract

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Who would had thought that the devil would be a young man? But there he was in Daichi’s dorm room, smirk in his face tinted with feral mirth.

He looked quite handsome really - spiky bedhead, feline eyes, tall, muscular and a whole lot of leather in his personal style. He looked like the kind of bad news Christian girls (and boys) secretly harbor in their daydreams, the kind who would steal them from their well-respected families, fucking their virginities away from stodgy Sunday brunches and baggy preppy clothes.

“You don’t look like how I expected. Cute horns though.” Daichi noted, observing the devil with the interest of a fascinated scientist.

“O-ho, you probably think that we are all hideous creatures with red skin and bat wings.”

“Not really, I have wider imagination than that. Although I had always imagined your kind to be more subtle. Turns out that was a total miscalculation.” Daichi remarked. He gave the devil one complete glance before turning back to his computer screen.

“What are you working on?” the devil asked, peeking behind Daichi.

“School stuff, and it already made my life miserable. So would you mind scurrying away?”

“You know, I could make your life easier,” the devil murmured, joviality apparent in his voice.

“Let me guess. You can give me everything I want if I give you my soul.”

“Yes, precisely! Aren’t you a smart boy?”

“Lower down your voice, please. Do you have any idea where you are right now?”

“This is the mortal world, right?”

“Yeah. And you are in a college dormitory with a belligerent dorm manager. He will raise terror and hell from a single noise.”

“I would like to meet this manager. Maybe we could summon him. He appears in the presence of noise you say?”

Daichi inwardly grouched. It would be too much nuisance if those two meet.

“Don’t you dare.”The devil smiled widely that told Daichi he would dare.

Daichi could probably murder a devil, if only devils were capable to be murdered. The crime could also potentially send him straight to hell, and he would like to avoid that if it meant meeting more devils. Even how good-looking they may be, devils were annoying. At least the one in his room was.

“Let’s just start the soul-binding ritual thingy. The sooner you are out of here the better.”

“I know you would be reasonable.” The devil looked pleased. His eyes were sparkling like a disco ball, literally. “You mortals can be very stubborn. I have to boil the last person I contracted before she would cooperate. Don’t worry, I healed her after that. But oh boy, wasn’t it fun?"

“Please spare me the anecdotes. Is this how you normally operate?"

"Well, in fact, yes. Am I doing something wrong?" the devil frowned, rubbing his hand in his thigh. 

"You ought to make enemies with those horrible sales pitch," Daichi quipped. No wonder the soul-binding industry had such a bad reputation. The agents are horrible in customer relations. It was unbelievable that the hell-devil corporation hadn't filed bankruptcy yet. "You should consider enrolling in our university. We have really good business program."

"I'll think about it." It was quite bewildering that the devil acted contemplative. Even if it only lasted for few seconds. "Now where were we? Oh, yes, the boiling water. I don't know why you mortals can't stand extreme heat. If you ask me, the boiling point is the best temperature for a relaxing bath." Daichi rolled his eyes. All that lecture for nothing. "Would you like to try it? I could accompany you if you are that scared." 

"No, thank you," Daichi didn't want to try anything that was devils-approved. He didn’t want to listen to the rambling of a sentimental hellion either. "Are we gonna start or what?" 

Thankfully, the devil didn't press on about any boiling-related topics. He tucked his hands inside the pockets of the leather jacket, and whistled. The whistling might be some form of encantation because a floating piece of paper appeared in front of Daichi.

“Just sign that, and we can call it a night.”

“Would you mind if I read it first?”

“Usually, people just sign. No more reading when your eyes are plucked out.” The devil exuded abundance of euphoric energy, probably too happy reminiscing his barbaric activities inside the torture chamber.

Daichi would never understand the bliss of playing with the human body, and that’s the reason why he was not a devil.

Daichi grabbed the floating paper. “Well, I wanna read it.”

The devil placed his palm in his chest, “Since I’m a kind devil, then you may," he announced, with exaggerated geniality that it couldn't be genuine.

Daichi doubted that kind devils ever existed. Not when the only devil he ever met miserably failed in performing a con-artist modus. He appreciated the time given to him to read though.

“So your name is Tetsurou?” Daichi muttered, locked into reading with furrowed eyebrows.

“Is that a problem? You don’t suppose that devils also have names?” Tetsurou, the devil, looked a bit offended.

“I guess you have a point.” Daichi returned surveying the contract. “This won’t do. It won’t hold in court.” Daichi threw the paper in distain.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with it?” For the first time, the devil looked anxious.

“First of all, you can’t write using chemistry formulas.” Daichi explained thoughtfully.

“But it had always worked before. Wasn’t it clear enough?” The devil pointed at the balancing equations. The elements were deliberately changed with their names. And instead of electrons, it was Daichi’s soul which was supposed to be given to the devil.

“It’s clear enough. It’s just no lawyer will look at it seriously. Contracts are written with law not science. We should use law language. Terms like parties of the first and second parts, hereinafter and the like.”

“Fine, we will do it however you wish. Language of law not science, the kind that lawyers will take seriously.” The devil looked a bit dejected. He had the look of a kid who had resigned to the fact that he got a toy sword for Christmas instead of the dancing robot he wanted.

“I’ll draft one.” Daichi volunteered earnestly.

“Go ahead. Since you’re the expert.” Tetsurou flopped on top of Daichi’s bed, losing the spirit he had shown earlier. What a moody fellow.

“You should thank me you know. Doing this makes your business legit. I do think you should get that business degree, or at least the law electives.”

Writing the contract wasn’t that hard. Daichi found a sample draft in the internet. All he did was edit some parts that would suit his business transaction with the devil.

Tetsurou had been surprisingly behaved while Daichi was working, at least as behave as a devil can be. He found the stash of potato chips hidden under the bed. His face scrunched from bewildered to amusement as he munched the chips, like he half-ass the dosage of some wonder drug for crazies.

Daichi was curious how the junk food favored to the devil's taste buds. Were potato chips regular part of their diet? He couldn't tell. Then again, Daichi wasn’t updated to the latest gourmet craze in hell.

Daichi printed two copies of the new contract and handed one to Tetsurou.

The devil read his copy twice. “I don’t understand this law language. What does this say?” he said.

“It’s the same as you wrote,” Daichi told him. “This is more legal though, no loopholes for lawyers to pry.” The devil looked unconvinced. “It’s more binding. You see this section, it says it’s for eternity,” Daichi pressed on.

That did the trick. Apparently, words binding and eternity were the right things to say to make a sullen devil smile.

“Let’s sign this then!” Tetsurou said almost too enthusiastically.

“We need a witness,” Daichi mumbled. “I’ll go get my roommate.”

Daichi dashed out of his room before the devil answered. He sauntered across the dorm hall until he arrived at the right door. He knocked on it three times, then opened it. 

As he expected, he caught Suga lip-locked with Konoha in the latter’s bed. Konoha’s roommate wasn’t there, probably snogging in someone else’s bed in the dormitory. Horny rabbits.

“Bloody hell Daichi! Why are you here?” Suga bellowed irritatedly.

“Could I borrow my roommate for a couple of minutes?” Daichi uttered looking at Konoha.

Konoha was dumbfounded, he looked back and forth between Suga and Daichi. He sighed and shrugged. “Sure.”

Suga glared at Konoha, not pleased with his boyfriend’s approval. He jumped out of bed, leaving the room with daggers floating on top of his head.

“Thank you,” Daichi muttered to the flustered Konoha as he closed the door.

Once they were out of Konoha’s earshot, Suga spoke sourly. “What do you need?”

“You’ve got to witness a contract between the devil and I.” Daichi said nonchalantly, not intimidated at Suga’s bubbling wrath. Suga would get over it, he always did.

“You disturb my sleep for a bloody contract with the devil?” Suga muttered furiously.

“You were not sleeping.”

“I was about to. Right after that goodnight kiss.”

“Right?” Daichi said in sarcasm. “Come on! Let’s hurry. The devil is waiting. I don’t want him to be grumpy and start destroying things.”

“He can wait all he wants. He’s the bloody devil. He’s ancient. Bloke is probably used to waiting. I need to wash my face.”

To Daichi's relief, the devil had not destroyed anything while he was away. In fact, the devil couldn’t be more at home in his bed. Tetsurou had already consumed two more bags of potato chips. A fourth bag was left opened, half-consumed and forgotten to make room for the devil's new interest - Daichi's Pikachu plushie.

For a sinister devil who claimed had no qualm in torturing people, he had strange fondness for Pikachu. He was gleefully tossing the plushie in the air, an action that is uncharacteristically adorable in his heedless biker stylishness. He was, in all honesty, an awe-inspiring sight.

“I assume you’re the devil.” Suga said, his eyes trailing at the young man in Daichi’s room.

“I’m the devil.” Tetsurou sat up looking proud. He flashed his smile that stole Christian virgins.

"His name is Tetsurou," Daichi informed.

“You’re cute. No wonder Daichi desires a contract with you. He prefers them extra bad.”

“Well, I’m quite the charmer,” Tetsurou said jovially and winked at Daichi.

“Stop gossiping, and let's get this done. I still have a research paper to turn out.”

The three of them rounded up at Daichi’s table.

“Okay, what are we gonna do next? Do we need to offer you blood or something?”Suga asked looking mournful at the devil. “Because if it involves any form of bleeding, then I'm out. That ain’t my kind of party.”

“Just sign? It’s Mr. Chubby Cheeks here who is expert to all these law not science language thing.”

Daichi popped a vein with the nickname the devil gave him, but this was not the best time to show enmity.

“There won’t be blood involved. We will use normal pen. I’ll sign first.” Daichi declared, fake smile wide and present. He quickly put his name in the second blank with his signature.

“You have to sign too.” Daichi said to the devil.

“Where?”

“Here.” Daichi moved closer to the devil and pointed at the first blank. Within this proximity, Daichi could smell the burnt potato chips mixed with some odd not-from-earth aroma. Tetsurou smelled nice, in a weird soothing way as far as devils’ scents were supposed to be.

Daichi caught Suga watching in amusement. He was convinced that his roommate would spout another scandalous comment. Daichi kicked him in the knee before any word could come out from his dirty mouth.

“Do your job, witness.”

Suga took the paper begrudgingly but he still signed. Then all three signed the other copy, and Daichi handed one to the devil.

“Now, sweetcakes,” the devil said, rubbing his hands, rays of victory and all. “Anything I could do for you?”

Daichi sat in his chair, enjoying the coziness, flipping through the car magazine he borrowed from Kamasaki. “I want this sports car, in red. Also, a perfect grade in statistics. Buffet coupons and the ability to eat a lot without gaining weight.”

“Throw in one for me too,” Suga chimed. “Make Konoha’s dick bigger. Like two inches longer and one inch wider.”

“That's some thought-provoking priorities you have, mate." Daichi shaked his head. Suga intensely pierced his eyes at Daichi which spoke a thousand words of threats.

“OK fine... Do what he says.” He said to Tetsurou. “And build me a 100 million dollars worth of business empire. That should settle me for life.”

“Consider all of those done!” The devil announced wildly.

“Can I go now? I need to check the new D.” Suga said impatiently.

“Yeah, you can bounce. Don’t expect me to buy you food when you’re limping through your sore ass," Daichi cried, not bothering to filter the trash in his words. 

“Nice meeting you Tetsurou, see you soon.” Suga beamed at the devil. He pecked Tetsurou’s cheek, and ran hurriedly to the dick of his dreams.

“Before I forget,” Daichi exclaimed. He opened his drawer and pulled out a coin. “I owe you 100 Yen.” He handed the money to the devil.

“What’s this for?”

“That’s for your soul.”

Tetsurou glanced at his contract. “My soul?"

“Yes, your soul.” Daichi said, rereading the contract with a sadistic smile on his face. “It’s written there where you signed, it says you give me your soul for the sum of a hundred yen.”

The devil read the contract again. His skin turned red, blazing smoke came out out from his ears. Just when his skin coloration started looking fleshy again, his face turned pale with visible look of dread as he stared at the human.

“We are bound to each other, Tetsu-chan,” Daichi said. He grabbed a piece of potato chip from the abandoned bag, and popped it into his mouth. “For eternity.”