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In haste we can be reckless but there's always good reason

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By the time a Legend has finally caught up with her she has already lost most of the feeling in her limbs. Lying on the cold, wet ground she feels a strange sense of numbness to everything around her. She knows deep down this isn’t a good thing but right now she’s too exhausted to care.


It’s almost as though time is in slow motion.


No longer can she feel the burning in her chest and stomach or the moist stickiness of her own blood on her fingers. Instead all she can focus on is the cold as though the damp from the floor has settled across her skin like a blanket wrapping her into its cloying depths. 




Sluggishly she angles her head towards the shouting of her name forcing a smile on her face as she takes in Ray’s panicked expression. He doesn’t usually look this worried, they all know Gideon can heal most wounds, which means she must have stalked her target much further from the Waverider than she initially thought. 


“Shit Sara there’s so much blood!” 


She chuckles she has two crossbow bolts protruding from her torso so she’s not at all surprised there’s a lot of blood. If she had only been a second quicker she wouldn’t have been caught off guard but at least her attacker is dead.  The would be assassin lying across from her, his eyes wide and unseeing with a throwing knife wedged between them. 


“Hurts... like a ... bitch too” 


Ray laughs before his expression becomes worried once more his eyes darting frantically between the dead man and her oozing wounds. She closes her eyes ignoring her friend as he seems to be studying the bolts intently his hands hovering awkwardly. It’s becoming too tiring to keep them open, she wants to save what little strength she has to make it back to the ship. She hopes it doesn’t take Gideon too long to fix the mess she’s managed to get herself into; its date night and Ava’s cooking.


She can’t wait. 


“Oh Sara they don’t look good...”


She wants to laugh, the last time she was shot at she died, so actually right now it’s better than it could be. Ray trails off as he gathers her in his arms causing her to let out a low pained groan as the pain flares white hot across her. It feels like her skin is alight almost as if a branding iron is being forced against exposed flesh and her body curls in on itself as it struggles against the onslaught of pain.


“I’m sorry Sara, I’m sorry” 


Ray starts talking frantically to Gideon through his earpiece as he carefully cradles her in his arms, trying his best not to jar her as he moves. She tries to listen to whats being said but it’s like having water in your ears, everything seems distorted and she can’t make sense of it. Not when all she can concentrate on is the pain that feels as though it’s spreading through her veins. 


“... and if you could contact Ava” 




Those words she clearly hears and she can feel a well of panic rise up through her stomach in response. 




“No ... don’t call ... Ava” 


She has been reckless and she knows it following the deadly assassin alone had been a foolish mistake one that she knows her girlfriend will berate her for. She isn’t going to cause Ava unnecessary worry because she has decided to be an idiot. They can have the conversation once Gideon has healed her and debrief has been completed. 


“But Captain your vitals are-“


“Gideon ... that’s ... that’s an ... order” 


She can taste blood on her tongue, can feel it in her throat as she forces the words out but it’s important that they, for once, just do as they are told. Ava has been through enough recently with two weeks trapped in her own personal hell there’s no way she is being the cause of any more stress not when things had just started to settle down. 


“Yes Captain” 


It is clear that the A.I. is not happy but she cannot disobey a direct order something for which Sara is extremely grateful. Knowing that she’s in safe hands with Ray she allows herself to fall unconscious hoping that when she next awakes it’s in the Waverider med bay fixed up and mercifully pain free. 




The pain is blinding she can’t help but retch violently as Ray lays her down in the bed. Her hands go to claw at the arrows embedded deep into her skin, she wants them out, needs them out but Ray holds her down struggling against her. 


“No Sara don’t” 


“Captain Lance do I need to restrain you?” 


She shakes her head while clenching her eyes tight, teeth gritted against the pain. She feels Ray attach the monitor bracelet around her wrist before he hastily exits, muttering something about The Bureau and she lets out a minute sigh of relief. Soon she will be healed.  She feels the rush of static wash over her body but the pain does not subside. She tries counting slowly taking deep measured breaths willing herself through the agony that she feels. 


“Gi- Gideon?” 


“The arrows have been coated in poison Captain I’m conducting an analysis as we speak so that I can administer the correct pain relief and antidote” 


“Oh- Ok” 


She can feel the tears building in her eyes as her vision starts to blur but she forces herself to stay in the present knowing that the pain will end soon enough. 




Her concentration is broken by her girlfriend who has appeared in the med bay a look of pure horror on her face. She tries to smile but all that comes out is a pained whimper as she reaches her hand sluggishly in Ava’s direction. 


“Oh God Sara look at you... Ray told me you where injured but I presumed..”


She trails off as her eyes focus on the protruding arrow bolts and Sara grimaces as the colour drains from Ava’s face. 


“I’d ... be ... all ... fixed?” 


Her breaths coming in sharp pants and Ava surges forward wrapping her hand around her own and squeezing tightly. It anchors her into the present, having her girlfriends support is comforting and she squeezes back hard. 


“It’s alright babe, you are going to be just fine. Gideon will have this sorted in no time right Gideon?” 


There is real fear in Ava’s eyes and she presses a kiss to her forehead before looking to the ceiling expectantly. 




“Ok Director Sharpe I need you to work with me. Those arrows need to be removed before I can do anything further” 


Ava looks at her, then at the arrows then back to her with her eyes wide, horror clear to see. 


“Alrighty then ... pull” 


“No Sara I can’t, Gideon there must be another way?” 


“You are going to have to Director, Captain Lance is losing blood and the poison is spreading we don’t have much time” 


How she stays conscious Sara has no idea the excruciating pain has her shouting out until her voice cracks as the two bolts are carefully pulled from her body. She can only thank her lucky stars that the bolts where not barbed. Her head flops backwards and she lets her eyes fall shut, she needs this, needs a minute to try and get her breathing back under some sort of control. 


“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry” 


Ava’s face is wet with tears, the first falling as she had wrapped her hand around the bolt imbedded in her side and Sara couldn’t help the pained whimper that escaped at even that small amount of contact. 


“Not ... .... your ... fault” 


“Administering pain relief Captain” 


Letting out a relieved sigh Sara waits for the numbing bliss that usually accompanies a heavy shot of Waverider healing juice. The white hot pain reduces but only a fraction. Now it’s a deep aching throb, making it difficult to concentrate and she struggles to keep her tone even. 


“Gideon more please” 


“I’m sorry Captain Lance that was the highest dose I can administer. I believe there is something in this particular poison which is causing resistance to the pain relief” 


Ava stands with her brow furrowed her eyes scanning the length of her body. She loves the look of concentration across Ava’s features it reminds her of them in the beginning when all she was at the receiving end of was curious frustration. Ava reaches for a pair of scissors before she begins the careful task of cutting away the mangled shirt from Sara’s body; she hadn’t had chance to change into her white canary outfit such was the urgency of this anachronism. 




“Hush you” 


Sara smiles but it soon disappears when she notices what’s holding Ava’s attention the two bolt wounds still look fresh. Although they are no longer oozing blood they haven’t even begun to close over instead they look raw,exposed the edges discoloured. 


“Well .... that’s new” 




“How are you at first aid Director?” 


Ava nods her head quickly gathering the supplies she needs before setting to work. The antiseptic stings like a bitch but it’s strangely calming watching Ava tenderly wrap her wounds and once she’s finished she does feel marginally better. 


“Thank ... you” 


Ava’s eyes shine with tears as she presses her lips to her own before mumbling “You don’t have to thank me dummy” 


“Captain I still can’t locate this particular poison so I'm unable to administer an antidote. I have however managed to rapidly decelerate the spread of the toxins to give us more time” 


“Gideon ... what are my odds for recovery?” 


Ava takes in a sharp breath and the grip on her hand becomes vice like but Sara holds firm she needs to know because this, this doesn’t feel good and she won’t be coddled like a child. 


“Without the correct antidote you will die Captain it is imperative we either locate or create one as soon as possible” 


“How much time?” 


The A.I doesn’t respond and Sara grits her teeth against the panic she feels ready to make her A.I comply. 


“I would say roughly 48 hours Captain but it’s an estimate at best. I will continue to slow the spread of the toxin as best I can but as we don’t know what other symptoms will arise I cannot give you an accurate timescale” 


White noise rings in her ears and she finds herself swallowing hard. That’s sooner than she expected and although she’s faced death countless of times before this time it feels different and not in a good way. 


“Thank you Gideon” 


It’s Ava who speaks and the lights in the med bay dim slightly as Gideon is dismissed. 


“I need to go and consult with the scientists at The Bureau” 


Sara nods but still cannot form the words she desperately needs to say. Although she knows Ava is leaving to help, her stomach clenches at the thought of her girlfriend leaving her side. 


“Don’t worry we’re going to sort this, It’s date night and it’s my turn to pick the movie so you, you’re going to be just fine” 


Ava’s smile is wide and reassuring; if she’s inwardly panicking she’s covering it well and Sara’s never been more grateful to have this wonderful woman in her life. Her eyes are becoming heavy and she can feel the edges of her vision begin to blur.


“Get some sleep Babe Gideon will monitor you and keep me updated. I’ll be back before you know it” 


“I love you” 


Because she needs to tell her just in case even if it makes her eyes burn and her chest ache she needs Ava to know just how much she cares about her. 


“Love you too, stay strong” 


She’s unconscious the moment Ava leaves the room. 




“She’s had another seizure” 


Sara can hear the voice of Zari but she doesn’t want to open her eyes just yet. Doing a quick mental check of her body she feels cold and her limbs ache with bone deep exhaustion, the pain is still there and she wants to groan at the intensity. Her eyelids feel too heavy to move and she decides she’s quite content to just relax and listen while the others think she’s asleep. 


“Gideon's worried about what the poison is doing even in this decelerated state” 


“Her temperature still over the place?” 


Zari laughs without humour “Can’t you tell with the blanket mound Ray” 


“Sorry ... I ..” 


Ray begins to stutter but he falls silent and Sara can almost feel the tension in the room. She contemplates opening her eyes but decides against it, listening instead for clues about her current state.  


“Gary called they think they’re close to finding an antidote. Nate managed to track down the mythical creature used for that particular strain of poison. It’s just a waiting game now waiting on the lab technicians at the time bureau”


“Well at least that’s something positive” 


“Speaking of the Time Bureau where’s Ava?”




“I’m surprised she agreed to leave Sara’s side” 


“She didn’t I drugged her” 


Ray gasps and inwardly Sara chuckles Zari is going to be hit with the full force of Ava’s temper when she awakes. 


“Oh hush it’ll last about three hours tops. The fall out will be worth it she’s running herself into the ground trying to locate the poisons origins plus running The Bureau it’s too much. Sara would want her to look after herself” 


Sara wholeheartedly agrees she doesn’t want Ava to make herself ill no matter how much she wishes she was sat at her side. She knows however if their roles were reversed and it was Ava lying in the med bay she would also be fighting to remain with her girlfriend’s. Deciding she’s feigned sleep for long enough she forces her eyelids open immediately wincing as the white light assaults her eyes. 


“Eurghh that’s bright” 


Her voice is muffled and she realises she’s on oxygen, the mask tickles but she can’t find the strength to move it so she just glares at the harsh lights instead.




The lights dim in response and she smiles at the ceiling in gratitude. 


“Captain how are you feeling?” 


“Terrible thanks Gideon” 


Ray and Zari laugh and she flashes them a quick smile before sobering as Gideon chastises her. 


“Now Captain I need you to be serious and tell me exactly how you feel” 


After a full run down of her aches and pains she answers all of Gideon’s questions even though she’s so tired it’s almost too hard to think. Zari and Ray are watching her closely and it’s beginning to aggravate her, she’s not made of glass. 


“You have been asleep for 19 hours Captain if you could try and stay awake for me now it will help with slowing down the spread of poison” 


“What’s it doing to me?” 


“Currently attacking your nervous system which is causing your muscles to spasm resulting in seizures. Your body is also struggling to regulate its temperature which we are doing our best to control” 


Sara nods and she turns to look at Zari who’s watching her worriedly and Ray who’s fidgeting back and forth. 


“Are there not more important things you two could be doing?” 


“Well yes there is but being here with you is our number one priority Captain” 


It’s Ray who speaks and she almost wants to roll her eyes at the eagerness in his voice but she can’t. He’s just too nice. 


“Besides Gideon says no sleeping so who better than to keep you awake!” 




Sara grins wickedly at Zari who gasps in mock horror and she brings a hand to her mouth. 


“And just what would you be insinuating Captain Lance” 


“Wouldn’t you like to know” 


She winks and they all laugh but Sara knows its more out of relief that she’s awake than finding her comments funny. They’ve heard them all one too many times before. Zari and Ray chatter between them and she’s happy to just listen to them talk. This way she can save her energy considering all she wants to do is sleep so that she can avoid the way her body feels as though it’s giving up on her. 


Eventually Ray leaves and Zari takes to reading quietly at the side of her she looks tired and Sara summarises almost half of her 48 hours is up. It sends alarm bells ringing but she knows there’s nothing she can do other than wait for news from The Bureau. She doesn’t know how long it’s been before her legs start feeling as though they are becoming restless. Nausea rises in her stomach as the headache that’s been lingering begins to build in intensity. She tries blocking it out forcing her attention on Zari’s tale of tricking  Ava (when did Zari start talking?) but it’s harder than she thinks. Her body which she’s sure just moments ago was shivering with cold flushes hot and she can feel sweat gathering on her brow.


“Sara you ok?” 


Heat builds up around her and she suddenly feels as though all the air has been pulled from the room the heat is that intense. Scrabbling at the thick blanket she begins to panic as she tries to push it off her body and can’t.  




Zari looks worried but she pulls away the heavy blanket which makes Sara sigh in relief but it doesn’t last long. The blinding headache coupled with the heat and the pain in her limbs is becoming too much and she can almost feel her grip on reality begin to fade. 




She wants Ava, wants her to come and hold her hand and tell her she’s going to be ok. Because it’s easier to fight when Ava’s there cheering her along and she wants her girlfriend, just wants her right now. 


“Shh it’s alright Sara” 


“No, no ... want Ava” 


Her eyes close and she can hear Zari talking to Gideon rapidly but she can’t understand what’s being said. Her legs begin to twitch and spasm and her stomach rolls with the sensation causing her to retch blindly. 




“Zari hold her steady don’t let her dislodge that oxygen mask. Come on Captain work with me” 


She can feel her body jerking uncontrollably but she can’t stop it, has no control over her wayward limbs. The pain in her head increases and she gives in to the pull of blackness as Zari shouts frantically at her side. 


“Sara hold on


Come on Sara fight this


For us 


For Ava” 




This time it’s with great effort that she forces herself into what she thinks is the present. She’s not quite certain if she’s already been awake or not, doesn’t know if she can remember hearing Gideon give an update or whether she imagined it. Everything hurts now she can’t even tell the difference between the types of pain. All she knows is that she’s fed up and just wants it to go away. She doesn’t bother opening her eyes it’s too much effort and after what happened last time she’s scared. 


She drifts in and out but she knows it hasn’t been for long, she’s heard snippets of conversation but nothing that has held her interest enough to fight against the overwhelming urge to linger in this semi conscious state that seems to be fogging her mind. 


Now though there’s a warm presence at her side she can feel it and she smiles, she knows it’s Ava would bet her captaincy of the Waverider on the fact. It grounds her keeps her in the present even if it is hurting her it’s worth it, Ava’s worth it. Pulling on every last bit of strength she forces her eyes open and meets the gaze of the woman she loves. 


“Hey my love” 


Ava’s voice is rough and Sara knows she’s been crying, can see it in the not quite dry tear marks on her cheeks.




Her voice sounds weak and she hates it but Ava’s smiling at her like it’s the best thing she’s heard in a while and she decides that she can deal with it. 


“How long have I been out?” 


“Oh I’m not quite sure Gideon?” 


“You have been unconscious for 9 hours and 53 minutes Captain and semi conscious for 3 hours and 58 minutes” 


Sara nods adding the hours up in her head she knows she’s coming into the final stretch of time. 


“I’m so sorry” 


The pure agony in Ava’s voice makes her want to cry she doesn’t like it when Ava’s upset especially when she cannot wrap her in her arms to comfort her, to stop her blaming herself.


“Don’t be ... not your fault” 


“I’m trying I really am I’ve got all the lab working to fix the serum that will cure you but it’s taking longer than we thought” 


Ava sniffles and Sara wants to cry with her it isn’t fair after everything they’ve been through, it isn't fair. 


“Have you tried already?” 


She has a vague recollection of an injection, a lot of voices then the noise of the machines but she doesn’t know if it was real. 


“Yes they thought they had it but it didn’t work. You, you...” 


Ava trails of a sob catching in her throat and Sara squeezes her hand as tightly as she can. 


“You suffered a cardiac arrest Captain but we managed to successfully bring you back” 


So she had effectively died again, no wonder Ava looked so relieved to see her open her eyes. 


“...I’m sorry” 


“No don’t be, you came back that’s what matters” 


She’s heard Gideon’s voice sporadically stating her vitals and she knows herself it isn’t looking promising. She’s suffering seizures each longer than the last and the frequency is increasing. Her body cannot regulate its temperature; soaring high before crashing low and its sending her system into shock.  


“Getting good ... at this coming back ... from the dead thing”


She smirks but it’s marred by the pained wince that accompanies it. Her whole body feels as though it is on fire. Ava reaches to her right and produces a cloth and bowl of water. When the now cool damp towel is placed across her brow she moans in relief it feels that good. 


“They are reworking the antidote now it’s just a matter of time until you’re all cured”


Sara nods but it’s halfhearted her chest feels worryingly tight and she wants to wheeze regardless of the oxygen that is being administered. 




Watery blue eyes meet her own reluctantly almost as if she knows what Sara’s going to say before Sara has managed to formulate the words in her own mind. 


“You can’t leave me” 


It’s choked out as though it pains Ava to have to beg, to have to put that pressure on her. Sara wants to say of course, of course she won’t go anywhere but she’s tired and sore and she isn’t certain how much longer she can keep trying to fight against the inevitable darkness. 


“I don’t think I can do it without you” 


“Oh Ava-“


“Actually I don’t want to do it without you. I want a life with you remember? domestic chores and all” 


Sara wants that too, she wants it more than she ever thought she would but she does, although she can feel it almost slipping through her grasp. She’s cold and hot all at once, her muscles taught and chest tight it’s almost unbearable in its discomfort. 


“It hurts ... so much”


She feels a tear escape and Ava crumbles pressing their foreheads together, their tears mixing on Sara’s cheeks. 


“If I could take the pain my love I would, I would baby. Just a bit longer ok? Just keep fighting for me it will be over soon” 


“Hold me?” 


She hates the weakness that she’s displaying but she needs to be held in her girlfriends arms in case she doesn’t get the chance again. 




“It’s ok Director” 


As Ava settles on the bed and wraps her arms around her Sara lets out a deep sigh. It feels so good being able to snuggle into her girlfriends warmth. With her eyes closed she can almost trick herself into thinking they are in her quarters snuggled up after a night spent together. She smiles as Ava presses a kiss to her forehead her head automatically raising at the touch. 


“... God I love you” 


She wants to nuzzle her nose into the soft skin at the crook of Ava’s neck but the oxygen mask prevents it. 


“I never thought ... I would get to feel this” 


“Sara don’t-“


“Just let me talk ok? I need this” 


She hears Ava sigh but she quiets tightening her hold of her fingers that are carefully entwining with her own. 


“When I died and was brought back it was another chance at life and I relished in it but it felt off somehow. It was strange I felt more alive than ever but in someways life was oddly muted. My emotions weren’t the same it was like they had been dimmed, I couldn’t feel anything with the same intensity as before” 


It seems to take forever to get her words out as she gasps for breath. She coughs hard, her chest rattling for a moment but she pushes on. 


“You brought them back. I could feel again, with you everything was more from the frustration when we first met to admiration to the love I feel for you now” 




“I don’t deserve you, I’ve never deserved you but you’ve made me so happy. Happier than I think I’ve ever been, happier than I ever thought I could be....., .... I love you so much ok so don’t ever doubt that ... because I do ... I do” 


She coughs harder hearing the deep rattle and Gideon’s voice breaks through the haze that’s settling in her mind. 


“Director I don’t think we have long left” 


“No! Gideon please, please there must be something you can do?” 


“There’s nothing more I can do for her Director” 


Ava’s body begins to shake as tears drop steadily down her cheeks. She moves so that she’s cradling her in her arms and Sara looks up so that she can see those beautiful blue eyes she loves so much. 


“You stay with me” 


Sara just smiles she can’t answer anymore her chest is seizing up just breathing is difficult enough and she’s already said the words that needed to be heard. 


“I mean it for once just do as you’re told!” 


She chuckles at that, or at least tries to, because she has never and will never be one to follow orders and Ava knows this. 




"Director Sharpe!"


The Legends and Gary burst into the med bay each of them bright red in the face and out of breath. If she could she would have laughed but she’s fading and she’s fading fast. There’s a flurry of activity, Gideon is barking orders and Zari is suddenly at her side holding a large needle. 


“Come on Captain one last push” 


The needle breaks the skin and Sara feels the weird sensation of the liquid entering her blood stream. It’s a waiting game now she knows it but she’s not sure how much time she has to give. 


“The antidote has been administered” 


The room is silent, they are staring watching and waiting but Sara cannot keep her eyes open any longer. 


“No stay with me, Sara!... come on babe”


The desperation pulls at her heart strings as Ava’s hand grips tightly around her own but it’s futile and she nuzzles as close to Ava as her weary body will allow. Taking a deep breath she relishes in the warmth of Ava and the smell of her perfume before she allows herself to be pulled into the darkness as her limbs go slack.




It’s almost like she’s floating, she feels weightless the pain has disappeared and she’s warm but its comfortable, nothing like the scorching heat she had felt previously. She’s so comfortable in fact she could almost convince herself that she’s dead but deep down she knows that it can’t be true. This feels too good and she knows for certain that she won’t have ascended to any form of heaven. 


Cautiously she tries to make her limbs move and she’s overjoyed when she feels her fingers and toes wiggle in response. Now that she’s mobile the inky blackness starts to recede and she feels her eyes start to flutter as the room comes into view. Slowly blinking she takes in the sight around her a soft smile stretching her lips as she does. She’s back in her quarters, in her own bed and Ava is fast asleep at the side of her. She stares at her sleeping girlfriend until her cheeks hurt from smiling and her curiosity gets the better of her.




It’s whispered she really doesn’t want to disturb Ava just yet, not when she’s sleeping so deeply, her breaths slow and measured. 


“It’s good to see you awake Captain it’s been a very eventful 26 hours” 


She looks over again and sees the tiredness etched in Ava’s brow which is furrowed even in her sleep and a wave of guilt washes over her. 


“They’ve all been given a mild sedative Captain, Ava included. Once I knew you where out of the woods, so to speak, I suggested a night cap with the promise I would wake them if there was any change"


Sara chuckles before she sits up slowly being careful not to disturb her slumbering girlfriend. 


“How do you feel?” 


She concentrates but other than tiredness and a bit of residual muscle ache she’s fine and she grins widely as a rush of endorphins floods her system. The feeling of surviving once again is a dizzying high.




“You’ll be easily tired for a couple of days but other than that amazingly there will be no lasting side effects. You do have two new scars though I’m afraid” 


“Bet they make me look badass” 


She stands up slowly testing out her legs and she’s thrilled that they don’t shake under her weight. It really is an amazing turnaround and she sobers when she thinks how close she has come to death once more. 


“Tell me what happened”


Gideon recounts the last 26 hours in full detail. As the antidote had been administered she had suffered another cardiac arrest. After being stabilised she had only lasted another 45 minutes before she had crashed again and this time she had flatlined for close to 8 minutes. They had brought her back and from then on she had slowly improved the seizures had stopped and her temperature had settled as the antidote worked the poison out of her system. 


“You have been very lucky Sara” 


It’s her given name that highlights the seriousness of what has happened and she takes a deep breath letting it out slowly before she looks up to the ceiling her expression earnest. 


“Thank you for everything Gideon”


“I couldn’t have done it without the team Captain” 


Sara inclines her head in agreement they deserve the world her team, her family and she will make sure each and everyone of them know how much she appreciates them. 


“When I er died? Did Ava -, I mean, was how was she?” 


She can’t quite formulate what she wants to ask, to be honest she doesn’t really know what she wants to know. All she knows is that she has put Ava through a hellish 48 hours and she just wants to make up for it. 




It’s not Gideon who replies and Sara turns around abruptly to face her girlfriend who’s sat up watching her with tears in her eyes. 




“Am I dreaming?”


Ava’s voice trembles and Sara shakes her head firmly as her heart aches at the vulnerability her girlfriend is showing. 


“No Aves I’m here, I promise I’m here” 


She clambers back into bed, crawling into Ava’s lap, her girlfriend blinks disbelievingly at her as unshed tears shine in her eyes. Sara wastes no time wrapping Ava into her arms and cradling her head to her chest. 


“You hear that? I’m here and I’m not going anywhere” 


It’s almost as if all the restraint Ava has been clutching hold of is destroyed the moment she hears Sara’s heartbeat thudding strongly under her ear. The tears fall thick and fast as Ava sobs hard, her shoulders shaking with the intensity. Sara makes soothing shushing sounds as she lets her girlfriend sob away all the tension from the past two days. 


“I thought I’d lost you, God I thought I’d lost you forever this time” 


“I’m here, baby I’m right here” 


She presses kisses to Ava’s hairline then her forehead until she’s cupping Ava’s chin in her hands and pressing gentle but insistent kisses against her lips. She doesn’t know how long they stay wrapped in each other all she knows is by the time Ava stops crying her arms have seized up and her voice is hoarse from whispering assurances over and over again. 


When Ava’s breaths have returned to normal Sara pulls back away from her slightly so that she can look at her clearly. She rubs her thumbs up and down her cheeks, softly wiping away the tear tracks that have lingered. 


“Are you ok?”


Ava snorts “I think it should be me asking you that question” 


“I’m fine- no I am, tired and achy but honestly surprised to be feeling this good” 


“Come here” 


Sara lets herself be pulled into Ava’s hold letting out a happy sigh as her nose nuzzles into Ava’s neck. She feels safe and warm, content after the never ending pain of the last couple of days it feels like pure bliss. 


She raises her head and Ava presses a bruising kiss to her lips. The intensity makes her gasp and Ava wastes no time entwining their tongues as she continues to kiss her furiously. Sara moans at the contact, can feel arousal begin to burn low in her stomach at the skillful swipes of Ava’s tongue. 




Sara understands in that moment what this is about and she wants it, wants to reassure Ava more than anything. Surging upwards she straddles Ava’s hips never breaking the kiss as she wraps her arms around Ava’s neck, threading her fingers through blonde locks. 


“Yours, always yours” 


She grinds down making her intention clear as she mutters the words against kiss swollen lips and she smirks when Ava’s hips buck in response, gasping as she pulls back. 


“Sara we should-“ 


“No, no we should definitely not stop” 




“No I need this and you need this, you won’t hurt me”


She tilts her head kissing from Ava’s ear to her neck nibbling gently as she does. It drives her girlfriend wild she can tell by the way her breathing quickens its working. She takes her earlobe between her teeth sucking hard causing Ava to moan. 




She rarely begs but my god she will get down on her knees if she needs to. It won’t be necessary, Ava cups her chin bringing their lips back together urgently. Sara moans in delight and starts pulling at Ava’s tank top breaking their kiss as she drags it over her head. Her hands immediately cup Ava’s glorious breasts her thumbs flicking over rapidly hardening nipples. 


“I love your boobs” 


Ava laughs throatily before she carefully unbuttons the shirt that Sara had been put in while still in the med bay. She pushes the fabric away from her shoulders, throwing it onto the floor. Sara closes her eyes in anticipation but Ava’s hands still at her shoulders. Opening her eyes Sara follows her girlfriends gaze and she winces when she notices Ava’s fixated on the two arrow wounds. 


“They’ll fade” 


Ava let’s out a shaky breath as she rubs her thumbs over the almost fully healed scars. 


“They show that I survived” Sara covers Ava’s hands with her own moving them so that they settle over her breasts “Survived to live a life with you” Sara arches her back pressing herself into Ava’s hands “So lets celebrate that. Touch me” 


Ava’s pupils darken as her gaze goes from worried to feral. She drags her thumbs over her hardened nipples and Sara gasps before smirking wickedly. 




She grinds down hard, rocking her hips back and forth, she can feel herself becoming wet. Ava slips one hand in the back of her shorts cupping her arse holding her body against her creating more friction between them. She can feel Ava’s abs as they flex and she rubs herself against them as much as she can. 


“Do you need more baby?” 


She grunts not willing to confess just yet, Ava’s fingers slip into the waistband of her shorts her finger tips grazing her clit before they slide over her aching slit. 


“You’re so wet for me” 


Ava slowly pulls her hand away and before she can continue her slow torture Sara moves as quickly as she can, stepping out of her shorts so that she’s standing naked under Ava’s heated gaze. 


“Ava baby I want you” 


“Come here” 


As soon as she’s within touching distance Sara is pulled up on to Ava’s lap “Hold on babe” before she can even question why Sara moans loudly as she is filled by two long fingers to the hilt, her arms automatically wrapping around Ava’s shoulders as she raises onto her knees. 


“Fuck yes Ava” 


She stills just for a moment taking a minute to relish in how good it feels to have Ava deep inside of her pressing against all the right places. She moans wantonly before she begins to ride back and forth fucking herself on Ava’s hand. Ava watches her with a satisfied smirk before she begins to meet her thrust for thrust with powerful strokes of her own. 


“Yes ... oh god yes” 


She can feel her thighs beginning to burn her, muscles tiring easily after her recent ordeal. Before she starts to crumble Ava moves them so swiftly she barely registers being turned before she’s on her back Ava above her thrusting her right arm while her left supports her weight. 


“Mine ... mine ... mine” 


It’s exhaled with each stroke of her fingers and Sara loses herself in the possessiveness. She’s panting now and Sara can feel her orgasm fast approaching as Ava’s fingers find that spot that makes her see stars. 


“Tell me ... tell me your mine” 


Ava speeds up as she latches her lips to her throat and Sara groans desperately her hands clawing down her girlfriends back. 


“I’m yours, fuck Ava only yours” 


She breathes the words into her lover’s ear, lips against her pulse point tasting the sweat that’s gathered there. She’s so close, so unbearably close that she keens as Ava’s thumb presses against her clit. 


“I’m coming, fuck baby I’m coming” 


“I love you, I love you, I love you” 


When she comes it’s almost as if she can see stars, every muscle in her body pulls taught with pleasure and she gasps and pants with tears in her eyes as she rides out wave after wave of pure pleasure. Ava slows down her thrusts but doesn’t stop letting her ride out every last bit of her orgasm, her body going slack as the rush of endorphins leaves her nerve endings sated and relaxed. 


Ava is still hovering above her concern clear in her eyes and the softness in which she strokes down her cheek. Sara smiles at her widely pulling her down so that she can press a kiss to her lips. They kiss slowly and tenderly but Sara can feel the underlying heat in Ava’s actions, her body is tense she needs relief but Sara knows her girlfriend won’t ask. 


Slowly she works her hand from Ava’s shoulder down until she’s sweeping across her abs loving the way they twitch under her touch. As she reaches the waistband of her shorts she falters her arm can reach no further down her girlfriends long body. 


“Take them off and come here”


She licks her lips she wants to feel the heat on her girlfriend around her fingers, she aches to feel that connection with her. Once Ava is naked she can sense her hesitating and although she’s exhausted and not quite certain whether she will be able to pull this off Sara moves. Flipping Ava onto her back she presses her body against the length of her latching her lips to her girlfriends neck as she lazily runs her fingers down to where she know Ava wants them the most. 




“You gonna come hard for me baby”


She doesn’t wait for an answer before she runs her fingertips through molten folds gathering the wetness she finds there dragging it up to Ava’s straining clit. 


“Oh Jesus Sara” 


She rubs slow firm circles working her girlfriend into a frenzy her arm muscles are already aching so she needs to bring Ava as close as she can. It doesn’t take long. Ava’s hips are arching upwards, chasing her touch, one hand fisting the covers the other gripping lightly at the back of Sara’s neck.  After a few minutes her abs are twitching and she surges upwards meeting Sara’s mouth in a messy kiss. 


“Babe I need your fingers” 


Sara groans at the pure want in Ava’s voice, it’s low and throaty and it makes her core clench just listening to her. She ignores her, continuing to draw patterns on her clit until her hips are jerking uncontrollably. 




It’s almost a whine and Sara slides three fingers home moaning herself as she’s enveloped in sleek wet heat. 


“Fuck you feel so good” 


Ava doesn’t reply, her eyes are shut and she continually moans as Sara puts all her weight behind her thrusts. She can feel her fingers being pulled deeper and deeper as Ava’s muscles contract and she can tell her lover's close. Pushing through the burning pain in her forearm Sara leans down and bites at Ava’s neck hard enough to mark but not break the skin. 


“Come on babe, come for me” 


“Fuck Sara yes!” 


Her lovers frame goes rigid underneath her and Sara struggles to continue to thrust to allow Ava to ride out every last bit of pleasure. Eventually Ava’s body loosens as she relaxes back into the mattress and Sara presses a soft kiss to her pulse point. 


“I love you too” 


She does she loves this woman under her so fiercely that her chest aches with the intensity. She goes to move away so that she’s not squashing Ava with her weight but strong arms wrap around her holding her close.


“No don’t move” 


“Usually you complain i'm squashing you” 


Sara sits up as she winks but the playfulness falls away when she notices Ava’s avoiding her gaze with her lip caught between her teeth. 




“I just want to feel you ok? Even while I’m asleep” 


Sara nods suddenly understanding that after the trauma of thinking she's lost her girlfriend three times in two days Ava wants her as close as physically possible. 


“It’s stupid“


“No, no it isn’t” 


She settles herself back onto her Ava's chest tucking her head into the crook of her neck. She lets out a loud sigh as a wave of tiredness washes over her and she snuggles as close as she can get. 


“You sure you're ok?” 


“Hmm just sleepy” 


“We shouldn't have done that it will have tired you out unnecessarily. Do I need to ask Gideon to check you over?” 


“The Captain is fine Director worn out but nothing a good nights rest won’t cure. The endorphins will have actually been beneficial to her healing process” 


Ava’s cheeks flush in response and Sara chuckles “Well you wanted to ask” 


They lie in comfortable silence until Sara’s just on the cusp of sleep, her body has gone heavy and she’s being lulled by Ava’s rhythmic breathing, when Ava’s breath hitches slightly. 


“I can’t go through this again Sara” 




“No I know your job means you will always be in the center of dangerous missions and I accept that” 




Ava looks at her with seriousness in her eyes “I need you to promise me you won’t go sneaking off alone. As much as you may be Captain you are also part of a team, you do not need to do everything alone” 


She doesn’t answer straight away just kisses Ava’s jaw and plays with her fingers running her thumb over her knuckles. 


“I forget sometimes” 


“That you have a team? They’re pretty loud and annoying babe” 


Ava rolls her eyes smiling but Sara just shakes her head softly. 


“No that I have something, well someone to live for now” 


Ava’s breath catches in her throat and the hold around her tightens. 


“I’m sorry for putting you through all that I can’t imagine, actually I don’t want to imagine how hard it’s been for you” 


It flashes through her mind an image of Ava lying unconscious in the med bay the monitor showing nothing but that dreaded continuous line. The image is so strong she shudders hard before continuing. 


“I promise I’ll be more careful, I promise I’ll always fight to come home to you” 


Ava smiles at her full of love and presses a kiss to her lips “Well that’s all I’ll ask of you” 


“Do you promise too?” 


She feels ridiculous asking and her cheeks warm but she means it she wants to be home for Ava as well. 


“Oh course I do, I want a life with you remember-“ 


“Domestic chores and all” 


"I love you"


"Love you too"


As she settles back down to go to sleep with Ava at her side and life running through her veins she thinks that right now that sounds rather perfect to her as well.