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Everything I do is driven by you

Chapter Text

Brian is in the middle of the worst research of his life, it’s not a problem. The problem is that the band is becoming big and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. He is tired. He just wants to lay in his bed and sleep.

He doesn’t want to do anything.

This is everything he dreamt about. This is everything they worked for. He really want to go touring, especially in the US. But he can’t be happy about it.

He knows it is not fair with Freddie, that works so hard. He knows it is not fair with Deaky that is quietly becoming the responsible one of the band. And it is not fair with Roger.

Roger, the one that does everything to him. Roger with his big blue eyes and ridiculous blond hair. Roger that is easily the love of his life. Roger that is always by his side.

It is not fair to be depressed right now. He knows he has issues. He knows he needs to work on it to improve, to be better.

But right now he can’t.

In two weeks they will be on a plane to US to opening for Mott the Hoople and it is their biggest shot. They need to do this.

But he has this fucking research that he can’t find anything. He is for hours in the library and read every book he could find. Still nothing.

He is worried that this is not going anywhere, that his interplanetary dust research is not worth it. Maybe right now it is not. There are few professors that are interested in this subject anyway, maybe it won’t make a difference for the world - for the universe.

He is lost in his thoughts when he hears a too familiar footstep reaching his ears. He can recognize Roger from miles away.

“Let’s go, you need to rest.”

 

And that’s how he finds himself in bed with Roger spooning him, a thing that they do only when he is fucked up. Maybe he is right now.

And right now he knows that if he doesn’t talk to his boyfriend about what he is feeling, he will be pulled to the darkness - and he doesn’t want it to happen.

But Roger is quicker and beats him to bring the subject that is tormenting him for days now.

“Tell me what is wrong.”

“I can’t find what I want for my research”

“And what else?”

He went for the safest option, but the drummer knows him better. He has no other choice. He needs to tell him what he is going to do. Is he sure about is? No, he is not. Maybe Queen won’t make it, even with the tour, and he will be left out without a PhD and teaching in high school for a living. Will Roger still be with him if everything falls apart? Is this the right choice?

“I will drop my PhD”

Roger doesn’t say anything, so he continues.

“I have so much to do. I can’t focus. When I’m reading about some fucking telescope some melodie comes to my mind. When I’m trying to write a song I think about the subject I was discussing with the professor. And when I’m home I can’t give you the attention you deserve because I’m always so tired. I’m a terrible student, a terrible musician, and a terrible boyfriend.”

He finishes his monologue only to find Roger’s lips pressed against his. And then his sweet voice that sings so raspy, God, he loves him.

“You are not terrible, you are perfect, you hear me? You are smart, you are talented, and you are an amazing boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for a better partner and we couldn’t ask for a better guitarist or a better songwriter. Ok? And you do whatever it is better for you.”

How is it even possible to love this man more than before?

“Because I will be by your side every step you will take, every day of our life.”

Chapter Text

Brian has been having depressive episodes since he can remember. He was a shy kid that loved music and school. He was very demanding and liked to do well in all subjects, even those as English as though as he was very good at everything involving maths. It was in the English classes that he discovered his other passion: writing songs.

He even built a guitar with his father. But it was not what he wanted to do for a living. He wanted to be a brilliant astrophysic and discover things about the space for people to talk about him and being know as a scientist that changed the way people see the universe. That’s what he had in mind when he applied for University.

But sometimes he couldn’t leave his bed because that little voice inside of him was telling him that he won’t be a great scientist and he is not worth it. So he give up during that day, or days, or even a whole week. Until he comes back and continues being brilliant during his classes.

By the time he and Tim decided to start a band, he wasn’t sure, because that voice - the voice that he trusted everytime - was telling him that he is not a good guitarist and he will never make it. Tim was a great friend, but not enough to pull him off the depressive episodes, he was doing it by his own. It is dangerous, he knows, maybe one day he will never return and will give up completely to the tempting darkness.

It changed when he met Roger. Roger, the drummer. Roger, the man with the bluest eyes he ever met and blond hair asking for being touched. Roger, always full with happiness and energy. Completely the opposite of Brian.

And that’s why, Brian likes to think, that they work together. At the begging as best friends and then when they became Queen, as lovers. The guitarist was still having depressive episodes, he thinks that he will never get rid of them, at least now he has someone to take care of him and make sure he will never give up to the darkness. From when he decided to drop the PhD to when he just couldn’t leave their bed, everytime Roger was there.

 

Roger has always been there for Brian. Since the day they met, the drummer knew that his mission in this world is to make sure that the curly haired very tall guitarist gives him at least one smile everyday. He wants to get rid of the sadness in those beautiful hazel eyes, because he is sure they are made for each other.

He loves to bring comfort for his boyfriend.

Until one day after a fight during the recording. They always fight a lot, the four of them, but it is never a personal thing, they try to be perfectionists because this is their fucking work.

But he doesn’t know what got him, he stormed out and didn’t return, like he always did. For the first time he was desperate, and at the same time he wanted to be alone but he also wanted Brian to hold him. When he reached the kitchen of their house, he sat on the floor, wondering if the guitarist is sad that he didn’t return. He became even more desperate, what if Brian is having one of his episodes and needs him and he is not there? But at the same time he was thinking that Brian had to be behind him to comfort him right now… fuck, he wasn’t feeling well, his head hurts, he can’t breath, he can’t feel the surrounders, he feels like he is not there.

But of course Brian will not be there, if he is feeling like this he can’t help his boyfriend. What kind of boyfriend he is? How can he feel like that when it is his lover that needs him the most?

He only realized he is crying when he feels soft hands caressing his face. He hears something that he is saying about breathing, he follows but he can’t focus, he doesn’t know what is happening. Eventually it helps and he can see the beautiful face of his Brian.

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened” he whispered.

“That’s fine, we are fine.”

Chapter Text

They’ve done everything in their life.

They graduated.

They started a band.

They were quite successful.

They made history with their unique way to play.

Brian with his homemade red special.

Roger with his unique way to play the drums and do the solos.

Deaky with his way to play.

And Freddie with his presence and stage persona.

They had problems, as every band.

They regretted many things they did.

They regretted many things they said

But they were family and above all those things, they always loved each other.

 

Brian and Roger are together since always. They’ve known each other since the end of the 60s and were always there for each other. They were there when Brian decided to drop off his PhD. They were there when Roger decided to form a band to be the vocalist. They were there when everything fall apart. They were there when Freddie died. They were there when Brian was depressed after his father died. They were there to put everything in place again. They were there to watch Deaky leave the band and suddenly it was just the two of them again.

They needed to keep going, they needed to live their lives the only way they know: making music. But then Brian knew he needed something more. He loves touring with Roger, but he also wants to finish what he didn’t have the opportunity before.

“What’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

They are laying on their bed in a lazy saturday night, it’s a thing they started to do after they realized they are not that young anymore. He’s been considering it for a while but still wasn’t sure if he wanted to share with his husband.

“I’m thinking about everything we’ve done and what we gave up to be here”

Roger was with his head on Brian’s chest and got up and turned a little to face the guitarist. “Do you regret something?”

He pressed a quick kiss in the drummer’s lips. “Of course not, I had the best life with you, and hope to have much more.”

“Yeah, me too.” He stayed quiet for a while, but then spoke again. “But what’s bothering you?”

Roger knows Brian more than himself, he can tell when something is not right. And the guitarist knows he has no choice but tell him the truth. “I’m thinking about going back to University and finish my PhD. But I’m not sure, I don’t know if I can do this, I don’t know if I still know what I learned 30 years ago.”

Of course, everytime that Brian is down and doubts himself, enters the supportive Roger. This time is not different. “What are you talking about? You? Not knowing what you learned? You are the smartest person in this world, you are an astrophysic, you are the fucking best guitarist in this world, how many songs and guitar solos did you write? Never mind… My point is, of course you still remember. And you know what? I’m sure if you go for it you’ll finish before you think you will.”

“But…” The drummer didn’t let Brian even start again.

“But nothing. Now your, our, life is different. Back then we didn’t have money, we needed to save every penny we owned and you couldn’t focus, that’s why you dropped. But now? Now we have everything, every support, we have money, you can travel without worries and I’ll be by your side 100% of the time.” When he finish his little monologue, he was straddling Brian and kissed him deeply to make sure the older man got what he just said.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, you know.”

“You are just you. And if you want, tomorrow I’ll go with you.”

“Yeah, I would love that.”

Chapter Text

When Roger was young he always thought about having a family. He wanted to have children, yes, more than one, for them to be just like him and his sister. He wanted to be a better father than his was and wanted a mother for his children that is equal as his own. He still had this in mind when he left home to study dentistry.

Brian came from a traditional family. His parents did everything to him, he build his guitar with his father and his mother was just the best woman in this entire universe. Speaking in universe, he knew what he wanted for his life: to get married, having a child and study the universe. It was simple.

Both of their lives changed when they met each other. It was a afternoon in Imperial College where Brian was staring at a new drummer that was equally speechless when they met. Even with their plans on their minds and now a proper band to create some music and play some gigs to relax from the stress that study is putting on them, they didn't have time to discuss their feelings. Tim, although, disapproved, the poor man was the only one there to feel their sexual tension.

But one detail on Roger’s life changed it completely. When he decided to drop dentistry and start biology instead, after a year he learnt something that would make all his dream come true. At once.

When a professor taught them about the men's anatomy and explain a thing that only few people knew, the blonde had hope that he could have everything that he wanted.

It still took them some time to confess their feelings, both too stubborn to talk and they needed a fight to finally say the words. This time they had two bandmates and for their own sake, especially Freddie teased them to the edge. “Everyone with an eye knows that you were made for each other, darling.”

But it was on the youngest and quiet member that Roger found someone to share his ‘secret’. Don't get him wrong, but he is sure that if he tells Freddie he will just talk about how cute babies he and Brian will make someday, and he also couldn't share this with Brian, for obvious reason. So Deaky had to help him. He was happy when he found out that yes, he is one of the few male carries and yes, he can fulfil his childhood dream and still have Brian as the father of his children. It is, if Brian wants, because at the time he wasn't sure if someone as good and pure as the guitarist will want someone like him. In those times it was when the bassist had to comfort him and say “only you can't see how Brian looks at you”.

Luckily for them, they made it. They were together for six years now and Roger still haven't broke the news to his husband. He never said a thing, he never mentioned kids or get married, so Roger thought that to Brian just the two of them were enough. And it really were. They could make music together, tour together, live together and share everything in their lives. They were happy, but the blonde felt that he was ready to take another step.

“Do you want to have kids?”

He decided to ask, casually, during a dinner at the new restaurant that opened down the street.

“Yes... why are you asking?” Roger could feel that he made Brian anxious. It is not a thing to ask like this, he should have brought the topic differently, shit. Now his boyfriend is thinking that he wants to break up with him.

“Because I was thinking…” he holds Brian's  hand that are on the table. “We may start trying. What do you think?”

Still not clear enough, right Roger? Why are you like this?

“What?”

“We can have children, Bri, of our own. I'm sorry I never mentioned it before but I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew.”

The older man didn't answer, he has a blank expression and Roger became nervous, maybe it was the wrong move, damn it, he was so scared that maybe what he feared is really going to happen. But he decided to give another chance, to explain himself because he loves Brian more than anything in this world and he doesn't want to lose everything.

“We can have a blond little girl with your hazel eyes or a boy with curly hair and blue eyes or a…”

When he realized, their hands were no longer together and Brian was not sit on his chair. He was on his knees beside him and a second later was kissing him. He returned the kiss, forgetting that they were in a public space.

“All I want is have a family with you, Rog, you have no idea how happy I am. Now let's go home because we lost so many time”.

 

But it was not easy. Roger wanted to do this right now because they took a break from the tour and recording, so it wouldn’t compromise their careers. The first time they bought a pregnancy test was two weeks after their first try. It was ok, they were in the beginning, so they tried not to be so affected. One month later, Roger was still not feeling anything, not one single change, not even the feared morning sickness, because he couldn’t get pregnant. After two months of daily sex and many superstitious things that they tried, still nothing.

They never talked about how frustrated both were. It was time to return to the studio, luckily for them, they had plenty of songs already written because neither could focus during their short break. They didn’t tell their friends that they were trying, because it’s been three months and there is no point in postponing everything to just get frustrated.

Roger was feeling like every doctor have fooled him and he wasn’t one that could carry a baby, so he decided to share his worries with Deaky. He is thinking that Brian is going to break up with him because “I can’t fucking get pregnant, Deaky, I’m useless”.

Brian, on the other hand, talked to Freddie, and was feeling like it was his fault, that something was wrong with him and that he is disappointing his boyfriend. “Rog wants this so badly, Freddie, and I can’t give it to him, I feel like I’m disappointing him.”

 

They went on like this. They finished recording the album and were about to start a new tour. They ‘forgot’ about trying for a baby, but secretly both of them were hoping that this time will work . It never did.

That’s why they embarked on the tour, the four of them rocking the world again. Roger and Brian trying to think that it was enough, that they are complete like this, that’s all they need.

Until one day after a concert, Roger was feeling odd, he had a sensation inside of him that he never felt before. Brian, being the perceptive boyfriend he is, noticed that something was wrong.

“I’m not feeling well, Bri.”

“Let me take you to the hotel, we’ll take a bath and will cuddle after, it will make you feel better.”

In the bed, hours after, it seems that it clicked. They look at each other in the eyes and had a mental conversation.

This time their wish came true. In some months they will be finally complete.

Chapter Text

Brian hates that he loves Roger.

He truly does. He always did. He always will.

Roger is annoying. When he was trying to study for a test or when he is trying to come up with some notes for the song, the blond man will try to get his attention. He will whine, he will complain, he will put his legs on Brian’s lap or he will start talking nonsenses just to grab Brian’s attention.

Roger always is willing to fight. So when he is not on a good day, god knows why, the drummer will just yell at him or at the other boys, and will find something wrong in every note, every beat, every second of they rehearsal. 

Roger is difficult. He always wants everything his way, it is very difficult to convince him to do otherwise. It happens when they go out on a date and Brian wants to do something different, no, they can’t do something different because Roger already planned that thing and it can’t change. 

 

But Brian can’t stay mad with him for too long.

When Roger is being annoying, Brian will tell him that he has to finish what he his doing and can’t pay attention to him right now. “You don’t have anything to do? Why don’t you open your book and study for one?” or “You should be working on this song too.” And then Roger pouts, it makes the guitarist laughs. ‘He is so cute like this’, he thinks, but then he remembers why and tell himself that he can’t fall. But it is already too late, when he sees he is cuddling with his annoying boyfriend.

When they fight for something Queen-related and don’t talk to each other during all day, they still have to go home together. Well, they don’t. Usually Brian go first, walking to clear his head. When he arrives Roger is not home yet, so he makes dinner, watches some tv and then Roger burst at the door and greets him with kisses and a long make out session. By the time they are breathless Brian completely forgets why they fought.

When Roger is being difficult, oh, it is another story. It is because the drummer knows Brian will do everything he wants. “Please Bri, let’s watch this movie” or “Please Bri, I already planned for us to have a date tonight, we can’t stay at home” or the worse “Please Bri, if you love please let’s do this”. And he does these things because he knows he is Brian’s soft spot, that after some time he knows he can make the guitarist laugh at something stupid he said. And he knows Brian loves him more than anyone in the world. And it is not fair, Brian thinks, Roger has such a strong power over him… of course Freddie and Deaky tease him about it…

 

Most of the time Brian doesn’t complain. He is happy with Roger… But deep down he hoped that someday Roger won’t affect him like this… he knows it won’t happened, because they love each other, Roger knows him more than himself, they were made for each other.

“You know I love, don’t you?”

“Of course I know, you wouldn’t be with me if you didn’t.” Brian smiles. He knows.

“And what makes you think it?”

“Oh, I annoy you sometimes and maybe I’m little too pushy. But you love me anyway.”

“I already told you, didn’t I?”

“Of course you did, it is not my fault you forget about what we fight if I kiss you and do a blow job.”

And then Brian thinks… yes… maybe this is really a kind of magic. But Roger is right, he loves him anyway. And sometimes he does hate that he loves him. He wanted to be mad at him for a long period, makes him think about what he did, but he can’t. He knows he never will. Until their last tour, until their last show, until their last day together on Earth. He loves Roger with all his heart.

Chapter Text

Roger has a wild life. He always had. But he also always loved Brian. He is sure the guitarist doesn’t feel the same about him and that’s why he always has one night stands with random girls and guys to try to forget him. But those hazel eyes are the only he sees when he closes his own and his soft voice is the only one he wants to hear first thing in the morning. It doesn’t help that the four of them live together and it’s not even their choice, they don’t have enough money to pay for separated rents. 

They are starting to make more money now, finally they are being valued and maybe he will be able to move to a house by his own… not that it’s what he wants… he wants to move out, but to their house where they can raise their children and grow older together, a place for both of them to return after a tour…

Speaking in children… now he is sit on the bathroom’s floor, looking at a pregnancy test and trying not to freak out… oh… yes… Brian… he forgot to mention that they did had sex one month ago, that they were both drunk and agreed to forget what happened for the sack of their friendship and the band… this child could be Brian’s, he was sure… no, but he wasn’t… because two days before he had to fuck everything up and have sex with a random guy… and now he can’t be sure…

What is he going to tell Brian? How will he break the news? Fuck… what about Freddie and Deaky? They will kill him.

He is fucked. 

 

He didn’t realized he was sobbing until he felt two strong arms grab him and lead him to the bed. He calmed down with his head pressed against the chest he always dreams, breathing the scent he loves. 

“What is wrong, Rog?” He asks after he was breathing properly. He is sure Brian already knows, he was holding the pregnancy test and now he is not… Brian saw it. 

“I’m… I don’t know… Won’t you be mad at me? Please, don’t be mad at me.”

“It’s ok, Rog, just tell me what is going on.” God, Brian is so loving, how could he had done this to him?

“I-I’m pregnant, Bri” and he starts crying again, he can’t help himself. “I’m so so sorry,”

The guitarist holds him again until he has no tears left. He thinks that they are like this for more than an hour. Until Brian talks again.

“What are you sorry for?”

Shit, he doesn’t even know the answer. At least now his voice is a little strong and he can talk without hiccups.

“I fuck everything up, were are getting bigger now and we can’t stop because I’m fucking pregnant and I’m not even sure who the other father is. I’ll slow you guys down and I’m a fucking whore.” At this point he is yelling and he really doesn’t know what to expect. He did stop going out after he slept with Brian, because deep down he still had hope that they will get together, so he wanted to be a better person. But now he just fucked this up, fuck.

“Don’t say these things about yourself, Rog.” He holds his cheeks between his hands. “Look at me Rog, I love you, ok? I always did. I’m so sorry I asked you to forget about our night together, I don’t want to forget, I want to be with you, forever.”

Roger is sure he is dreaming, it can’t be real, he just said the thing that will ruin their lives and Brian is saying that he loves him? It’s not true.

“How?” 

He can’t believe this is happening.

“It is so simple, Rog, do you want me to listen all the things I like about you?

“No, please don’t” he laughs for the first time since he found out he is pregnant, and he knows when Brian starts those things he never stops.

“If you want, I’ll raise this child as mine, I don’t care if they have my blood or not, they have yours and I love you.”

 

As the months passed, they were more in love than ever. Freddie and Deaky teased them non stop, saying that if they continue like this they will never stop having babies and they won’t be able to keep with it. As what concerns the band, they were never better, they were number one in many countries and people love them. The fans even send them gifts for the baby, it’s all cute.

What bothers Roger the most is the fact that in a couple of months their baby will born and he is scared of what they will be like, he doesn’t want to think that Brian will not love the child, he knows he will… he is the most carrying and sweet boyfriend, he always talks to the bump and is taking part of the entire process.


He is even scarier when the moment of giving birth arrives. He is scared of the process, of the pain, of meeting the little one. They don’t even have a name!!! It turns out a quick birth, two hours until he met the most wonderful human being.

He was in tears when he hold a tiny baby girl in his arms. She cried a little, he expected more, she had a soft expression in her little face, a calmness that warmed his heart even  more. Then he looked up and saw Brian crying too, his amazing boyfriend. 

Roger is tired, so he asks Brian to hold her, and it is the most beautiful sight in this world. He wants to watch the two of them for all his life. Brian is made to be a father, he is sure.

“Hey baby girl” he kisses her tiny face. “I love you and your papa so much, you have no idea yet.”

Roger smiles, almost falling asleep. “How should we call her? She needs a name.”

“What about Emily?”

“I love that”

 

They never mentioned about the paternity, Emily is so attached to Brian that Roger don’t dare to even think about it. Brian is the dad of his blond blue eyed baby girl. She is smart and very calm, she is a fast learn and loves to watch the stars with her dad.

When her blond hair starts growing, Roger cries because finally everything is alright. She has those curls that only belongs to one person: Brian.

Chapter Text

It all began when their new drummer arrived. 

 

Tim and Brian were doing fine, they have their life, they are friends and they decided to start a band. It was fine, they are following their dreams… but first they need to find a drummer. They did, they were lucky, especially because they both sing and found a drummer that also sings, so they were ready to kick some ass and chase their career dream.

But in the audition Brian couldn’t stop but stare at the blond young man that were tuning the drums as he never saw anyone do this (he never did, but Tim is sure it is not the reason why he is looking at Roger). And then he played and he was sure Brian was going to melt there, he was torn between actually listening to Roger play or keep looking at Brian to see all of his reaction. 

The boy is good and they never really talked about accepting him in band, they just did. 

And then it became impossible, unbearable. Not only Brian kept glancing at Roger, but Roger also kept looking at him. Of course, when they thought the other wasn’t looking.

He is friends with the guitarist, so one day he started asking weird things such as “do you think Roger is seeing anybody?” or “Roger told you something about what is going to do tonight?” or the worst “do you think if I grow my hair Roger will like?”

It was fine, Tim thought, it is not a big deal… until Roger started doing the same thing. “Hey, Tim, I’m going out with Freddie, do you know if Brian will do anything tonight?” 

And after a tiring day of rehearsal, the guitarist already left because he had something to study for some test and the blond asked Tim. “You and Brian are close, aren’t you? Hmm, do know if he is… hm… in a relationship or if he.. hm.. likes anyone?”

 

Tim thought he was going crazy. He can’t stand the two anymore. They are so obviously in love with each other and they can’t even realize it, they are so blind in their own bubble of pining that they don’t look in the each other’s eyes and see that the feeling is mutual. The bassist didn’t want to be the one to make them realize it, he thinks that feeling is a thing that they need to figure out by themselves… as he did with his girlfriend. It was so easy with the two of them, he likes her she likes him and they are together… why it has to be so difficult for his two band mates?

 

The worst is that he has this new proposal for another band, a band that he’s thinking that can go bigger… he doesn’t want to leave two friends behind, because he likes to think that they became closer as a band, but he needs to put his own career first.

He considered it for two whole months, the two idiots still doing the same thing and never talked to each other.

One day it became too much, the drummer and the guitarist argued about some stupid thing and Tim couldn’t handle anymore. There were so much sexual tension in the room, it was unbearable. 

“Can you two just stop?” He is usually a calm person, and his outburst shocked the two bandmates.

“Please just stop. Can’t you see what you are doing?”

“What?” Roger asked.

“I’m leaving.” he decided. Well, he had already decided, but now it seems the perfect time to inform them.

“You are doing what?” Brian said.

“I’m leaving the band. Humpy Bong, they asked me to join them and I’m going.”

“You can’t do this.” he is not sure who said it, it doesn’t matter. Now he is putting everything in the table and they will handle it.

“I can and I’m doing. Maybe this way you can see how much you love each other. Now you won’t have anyone to ask if the other is dating. I’m tired of you two, just kiss each other and I hope you’ll be happy.”

Then he left.

Things turned out completely different for them, but it doesn’t matter. Tim smiled when one day, when the same sex marriage became legal, he received an invitation to the wedding with the message we are here because of you .

Chapter Text

Roger remembers the day he gave birth to his only child. He and Brian were very young, he never planned on getting pregnant in the very beginning of their relationship, he was only 19 and Brian 21, also in the beginning of their musical career and in the middle of college. 

It was difficult to do both things: a band takes so much of your time, you need to practice and book gigs and hope that big people in music industry will notice you; college takes everything, you need to study and, in Brian case, be the best, but that’s fine because he is the smartest person Roger knows; and then he learnt that having a baby is worse: at first it was the pregnancy, he was always exhausted, he was always moody and he always wanted to be with Brian because he was the only one who could make him feel better.

The day their son came to the world was complicated for both of them, Roger was in so much pain, his pressure was lower than the doctors expected and Brian was worried sick about his boyfriend and the baby. At the end it was worth it, they had their little boy with them, a blue eyed with black hair boy that they named James.

Little Jimmy was always with them and as the same time it was a good thing they also had to look after their child all the time. Sometimes Roger had him with him in the drums so the little boy could stop crying. Other times Freddie had to sing holding him because he would cry if left alone. During the shows, thanks to his and Brian mothers, they had someone to look after Jimmy.

They were very young, but they managed to do everything. By the time Queen became famous the little boy was not that little, he already understood everything and was even learning how to play his father’s instruments. He’s been always quite good.

As they career progressed, him and Brian never talked about having more children, they were both happy this way and deep down they knew the other was scared of having to face everything again.

 

Jimmy became a wonderful man. Smart as Brian and wild as Roger. When he turned 16 he started touring with them. This was not a good idea when him and Freddie had already a history of getting into trouble again. And it was his parents the victims of their plans. 

Ok, they always had a plant of kids there, courtesy of Deaky, but Freddie wanted more, not his own, thank you very much. The only option is, of course, Roger and Brian. Jimmy always wanted a brother or sister but never talked about it to his parents, but uncle Freddie is a good listener.

 

“Papa, dad, why you never tried for another baby?”

They were having a nice family dinner, a rare thing nowadays, but apparently they son had to bring again this topic. The day before when they were playing scrabble at Freddie’s to remember the old times and both of their bandmates asked them the same thing. 

Roger looked at Brian, he is much better than him to do this talk. Ok, the blond can tell Freddie and Deaky to fuck off and mind their own business. “Look, don’t you have your own kids? Deaky? How are your cats, Freddie?” But he can’t do this with his own son, after all it is his business too.

“We already told you, Jim, it was so difficult to be on tour when you were little, and then we needed to focus on you, we are too old now to have another kid now.”

“But I always wanted a sibling.” He pouted and they knew they are screwed, they can’t say no his cute face, even if he is a little older now.



“I want another child, Bri.”

When they were alone in their room and could listen to Jimmy calmly sleeping in his room. Although they know that if he does listen to his fathers having sex he wouldn’t mind, it is his stupid idea to have a baby.

“Are you sure, Rog?” He asked, not sure to follow his husband hormones right now that everybody that is close to them are talking about it.

“I am, please, let’s make a little girl with your black hair and hazel eyes.”

He straddled Brian and began kissing him, soon he was putting his pyjama pants down.

“Oh, you know we can’t choose, right?”

“Yeah, but I want to try right now.”

Chapter Text

Roger just loves the way Brian moves his hands when he is singing without his guitar. Or the face he makes when he is singing and playing at the same time. He loves all the emotion that he puts on the song and how his solos are exactly the same thing as his voice. 

He loves everything about it. He loves even when he is talking. Brian has a such calming voice. 



Roger remembers exactly the first day he listened Brian singing. It was two weeks after he was accepted in the band and he didn’t know that the guitarist could sing, because in every rehearsal only Tim sang.

But that day Brian was going to show them a new song he wrote. He grabbed his acoustic guitar and then… fuck. Roger forgot everything he had to do, he forgot how to blink, how to breath, how to speak. He even forgot to actually pay attention to the words, he was just drinking the softness in the guitarist voice.

After that day he made his life goal to make that boy his. He desperately needed to hear that voice every moment of his day, not only during rehearsal, not only when he was alone in the studio listening to Brian songs…

 

But it’s not only his head that is messed up by Brian’s… other parts of his body also take interest in that soft voice. It reminds him of their first time… 

 

“Please, Bri”

He was moaning, he was waiting for this his entire life. He needs Brian inside him and he needs right now. But fuck, how can the other man be so patient? How can he take a time to tease when he can obvious see what Roger wants? Later he learnt that the foreplay is also a part of the sex and he learnt to enjoy it, especially when Brian is licking his hole and then move up to the base of his cock. It is too much.

Or so he thought. It became too much when Brian started talking.

He grabbed the lube and poured in his fingers. “Are you ready?”

Oh, this voice, this sweet and soft and calm voice.

“Yeah,” it’s the only thing he manages to say.

He moans once more when he presses one finger inside of him. This finger is soon followed by a second, and then Brian is scissoring them. 

“Are you enjoying this?” He says as he adds a third finger. As fast as it came it also went and Roger whines at the loss.

“Are you ready, Rog?” He just hums in response. “I need you to use your pretty voice, Rog.”

“Just fuck me already”

“Fine, but just because you asked so nicely”

Oh, the sarcasm, Roger loves it, and as Brian said it and was preparing to enter him he said. “Stop.”

Brian is confused. “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

Roger continues to whine. “Please, stop.”

“I already did, Rog, tell me what you are feeling”

In this moment Brian starts to roll to his side to hug the blond, but he is stopped. “No, not this, stop talking.” He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens again Brian is staring at him with hungry eyes.

“Are you saying that you have a thing for my voice?”

The bastard is smirking, but Roger has to admit that he is relieved, he doesn’t want to be the weird one in the relationship, they can be weird together, can’t they?

“Yes, now fuck me and shut up.”

“Oh, who says I will shut up?”

“You…” in the moment Roger was going to respond Brian entered him. “Oh…”

“Is that what you want, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” he is moaning, he can’t handle everything, even if the guitarist is giving him time to adjust.

“I will start moving now, ok?” he winks.

“y-you say i-it every… ah… everytime y-you ha-have sex or… ahhhh, fuck.”

Brian is thrusting harder every time and also hitting his prostate. Above all of these things he won’t stop talking, he is saying nonsenses right in Roger’s ears, he can’t hold anymore and soon is coming untouched. 

But Brian doesn’t stop, no… he keeps talking and fucking him like there will be no tomorrow. The moment Brian comes deep inside the blond, the later is coming for the second time that night.

Brian pulls out and once more Roger whines for the loss, but suddenly strong hands are cleaning him up.

“What do you want to do now?”

Roger opens his eyes, that he didn’t realise were closed. “If you keep talking soon I’ll be up for round two.”

 

Roger is awake of his day dream by that same voice. Fuck. He can’t believe this amazing man is still with him, after all those years, after so many fights and tours and losses. Many things changed, but one didn’t.

“Why is your voice still the same? It is not fair, I’m old now.”

The drummer pouts and Brian kisses it. 

“Come here, now we can just cuddle, it is ok.”

Chapter Text

You won’t need nobody else but me.

 

Oh the 80s… the perfect time for a change. 

We are most successful than ever. The world loves us. We play concerts for thousands of people. They sing with us and everything. It is everything Brian and I always dreamt when we were still young boys in Smile. 

 

Oh, Brian…

 

And then there is the press. The press they hate us. They always try to find something to put us down, to make people hate us. It doesn’t work, but still they seem to love doing these things to us. They think they know everything about us, about our private life… but they don’t.

 

Well, there is one thing that no one knows about me. And it’s because I never said it. Well, this is the first time I will say it, but it is quite obvious if you observe well. I’m in love with Brian May.

Tall, curly black hair, hazel eyes, soft voice…

I love everything about him.

I could mention here to you everything that I love in him, but I won’t do it, it is a long list.

But one thing that I did was very crazy, I know. 

I decided to do everything for Brian to notice me.

He never said a word about my hair, so I cut it. I must admit, it is as good as before.

He never said a word about my songs (I know what you are thinking, that song doesn’t count), so I made an entire solo album.

And still he didn’t say a word to me about it. Of course we talked about my hair and my album, but never in the way I want.

Why can’t he see that everything I do is for him?

I even named the album “Fun In Space”, isn’t he the astrophysic? Isn’t he the nerd? Isn’t he the one that loves space?

So why can’t he put the pieces together? Is not like I don’t flirt with him since the day we met… he should know by now.

Yes, I never told him, but he is smart, isn’t he?

Well, apparently not.

 

So I decided to release as single the perfect song to sing to him. 

The song that I wrote thinking about him, about how happy I can make him and he can make me. 

I’m gonna invite you to share all my dreams.

Well, don’t we do it already? But I want to share more than just our professional career, I want to share our other passions, I want us to have a family together and live together until the day we die.

So I went to television, a thing that I hate to do, just to show him how much I love him. The day before I told him “don’t forget to turn the tv on at 9pm tomorrow, I have something very special.”

I played the guitar, I sang the song that I wrote for him looking at the camera imagining that it is his face. It was a great performance. When I went to his house he told me that yes, he saw it and “It was very good, Rog”

In this moment I couldn’t handle anymore… I did everything, why can’t he realize what I was trying to say?

So I did it. I pressed him against the wall, I was impressed because he is taller and stronger than me, so Brian is probably letting him do it, that son of a bitch. “You know what, Bri? Everything I did was for you, the name of the stupid album is because you like space, you nerd, the single I released was the one I wrote for you, can’t you see that I love you?”

He was smirking, he knew . How can I be so stupid? He knew. And when he opened that pretty mouth of his he confirmed it. “I know, Rog, I only wanted you to say it. And you know why? Because everything I do I do for you.”

 

And when a decade later Brian came with the song, I almost murdered him. Lucky him that I love him.

Chapter Text

For Roger it has always been difficult to be away from Brian for so long. It seems like they know each other forever and he can't remember how his life was before meeting Brian.

They met when Roger auditioned for Brian's band and they are together since then. They've been through everything together, the first band spilt, the first album, the first tour, every money related problem in the beginning of their career, the success and the fame. Roger loved every single moment of their lives. But now Brian is away promoting the new album.

Ok, maybe the blonde is being a little dramatic, but it's not as if he is home alone. There is a whole human being depending on him to be fed and clean and survive.

Ok, he was the one carrying this beautiful baby girl inside of him for nine months, he chose it and was very happy during that time. But as all the things before, he never did this alone. Since the day she was born Roger became scared of raising her. She is the product of his and Brian love, and she is all her dad.

Little Emily is a calm, sweet and very good baby girl. She sleeps all night, she cries a little, but she's always well fed and clean and happy in her little environment. She has a lot of hair for a six months baby and it's another thing she got from Brian: her hair is dark and there's hints that is going to be as curly as her dad's. Oh, and she has hazel eyes.

Some people think that Roger is mad or jealous that his daughter is not like him, but he is happy. He couldn't imagine raising a child that is as wild and stubborn and loud as him. And he loves Brian, that's why he doesn't mind having another person exactly like him.

But as he thinks about all these things, the rain keeps falling outside, with some thunders now and then. And every single time Emily cries. It is not like it's the first time she hears the rain and the thunders, she was even born in a raining day.

And now Roger doesn't know what to do. He wishes Brian was there, he always knows what to do, he is always calm to deal with situations like this… Roger no, he has no idea what to do. And he tried everything. He gave her milk, watermelon (that she loves), but she is not hungry, he tried to put her to sleep, but she doesn't want to, he tried to sing to her, it helped at first, but when he stopped she started crying again. He was tired, it was 3AM and he wanted to sleep.

He thought about calling Brian, he gave the hotel number for emergency, but it was not an emergency, he could very well take care of their child, couldn’t he? Apparently not. It’s been only three days, and two more till Brian come home. Maybe she could use her dad voice? But no, he won’t interrupt his boyfriend sleep just because Emily can’t sleep.

“What do I do to you?”

Now they are in bed. There is no use to leave her alone in her crib and still she is restless… Maybe she will sleep in the morning … But no, he couldn’t do this, if she sleeps during the day she will never sleep during the night again and it will be all his fault. 

He thinks about the day they decided having a baby and he looks at her and sees that it is everything he always wanted. But he doesn’t want to do this alone. He knows it is everything he is thinking about, but he can’t help it.

When he decided that he definitely needs Brian help to do everything (he is eating his sister’s food and feeding Emily with what Brian left for her and he didn’t clean the house as he said he would) the phone rang. 

Please, don’t be more problem.

“Hello?”

“Did I wake you?”

Thank god.

“No, I couldn’t sleep”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, actually Emily can’t sleep, I think she is scared of the thunders, or the rain, I don’t know” But the call also left him worry with Brian, why was he calling this hour? “And you?”

“Couldn’t sleep either. I miss you two”

“We miss you too, Bri, come home soon.” He laughs and Roger can imagine perfectly his face, god, he misses him so much.

“I will. I just needed to hear your voice. I think I can sleep now.”

When the drummer looks at Emily she is - finally - sleeping. He smiles. “Yeah, I think we too.”

Chapter Text

Roger knows he made many mistakes. Most of them he doesn't regret because they made him grow up. Actually, there's only one thing he regrets.

He thinks back in the time when his mother told him stories about soulmates. How they met, fell in love and lived happily ever after. He never liked these stories, mostly because his parents weren't soulmates and they loved a good life together, but also because he loved the freedom.

That’s why after he met the guitarist of his new band he decided… he doesn’t know what he decided. In the moment he entered the room and saw the other man he knew he was his soulmate. He never felt anything like that. But he couldn’t do anything, they just met, it was too soon, he was so young… and now he regrets.

The only positive thing is that they became real good friends. Best friends. He could feel that Brian was holding up something, but as the guitarist never made a move, he also didn’t. He never talked about being gay, especially because every soulmates that he met was a straight couple. And a good detail is that he isn’t gay, he never was, he couldn’t be. 

He also may say that he regrets thinking like this. But it is a part of what he regrets the most.

One day he saw only he and Brian in the band, Tim left with all their hope of making it. That day he could feel that the guitarist wanted to say something, but he didn’t, and Roger himself didn’t have the guts. They remained best friends and it seemed like both of them were happy like this. They found two other crazy man to form the band with, they had some difficulties, they had to live the four together to save money while making their first album.

Freddie and John also could tell something was going on, they hadn’t met their soulmates yet, but the bond between their drummer and guitarist was too strong to be only best friends. But they kept going, still not talking about it.

Their luck changed when they went to their first US tour. They thought it would be their tour, because people liked them more than they liked Mott the Hopple. They were having the best time of their lives, Freddie kept say “I told you, darlings, we are already rock stars.”

But then Brian collapsed. Roger could feel he wasn’t very well for some days, but he thought it was just the impact of the tour in his body, but no, it was much worse. They flight back home in a hurry, Brian was barely conscious, and Roger was so scared.

That’s the moment he started regretting everything. Why was he so scared of showing his feelings? Why he denied that his soulmate was a man, his best friend? Why he spent the last six years of his life only as Brian friend when he could have had much more, everything he truly wanted?

When they landed, they went straight to the hospital and to the blonde it seems like it take forever. Everything was in slow motion. He was convinced Brian was going to die and he was going to die without him telling him that he loves him, that he wants to  be with him because they were made for each other, because some universe shit made them right for each other. 

After two days the guitarist woke up, Roger never leaving his side despite John’s request for him to go home and at least that a shower. He was greeted by tired hazel eyes and god, even sick he is the most beautiful person in the world. 

They don’t say anything for some minutes, just look deep in the eyes of each other, when Roger decides to do what he should have done years ago. A simple kiss will seal their bond as soulmates, so he approaches the bed and grabs Brian’s hand, he leans to kiss him, but is stopped by a weak hand. 

Maybe he doesn’t want it… “What?”

But Brian smiles. “They say if you die without kissing your soulmate you will protect him forever.”

He says it so soft, so weak, that Roger starts crying. “You won’t die, Bri, you will protect me from here because we will be together forever.”

And it was the first time Brian was happy he was wrong.

Chapter Text

Roger still remembers the moment everything happened. He was the driver so he was focus on the road… Brian was on the passenger seat, singing along with the radio. Roger thinks Brian is beautiful like this, he is so natural when he is singing,  he really thinks he should do this more often.

In a moment they were doing just that: Roger driving and Brian singing, but then a strong noise coming from the other side caught Roger’s attention as the car was being thrown to the side against his will. He felt the impact and he couldn’t control it… the worst thing was not seeing his beloved car being crushed by the passenger side… it was being conscious all the time… seeing it happening… seeing the blood and…

“Brian… Bri…”

But no answer… a few minutes and a lot of tears latter, he heard someone outside, but he couldn’t pay attention to these people, his eyes focused on the unconscious man beside him… what if he… no… it can’t be… 

He was trying to reach Brian, but then they opened the driver’s door and took him out of the car. Suddenly he was in the ambulance, being checked out… but he couldn’t answer the questions, he was hearing, he knows the queen’s name, but he can’t make any sound. He can feel he is still crying, but he knows if he open his mouth he will scream and it won’t do any good to any of them.

“Ok, Mr Taylor, you are free to go.” He never slept. He spent a night at the hospital, no one told him a word about Brian and he was convinced that he died. If he is still alive why wouldn’t Freddie and John talk about how he is? So Roger knew, he had killed Brian. He killed the man he loves and never had the opportunity to tell him… god, what about his girlfriend? She must hate him now for taking away the man that was going to marry her. And Queen… he killed Queen too, because he can get out of the hospital and play his drums… but Brian can’t play no more and his bandmates will also blame him for that.

“Thank you, doctor.” It was Deaky voice and he is grateful that his friend answered for him because he still can’t find his own voice. 

“What do you want to do now, darling?”

“Bri… I want to…” He needs to know if he is right or if there’s still hope…

And apparently there’s still hope, because Freddie is guiding him to another room. When they stopped, his heart stopped for a second too… what if Brian was awake and blamed him for being irresponsible while driving? But the most important thing is that he is alive. He breathes.

When Freddie opens the door, Roger is caught by a scene he would never imagine. Brian is covered in bruises, probably because of the glasses, he has so many tubes that the drummer can’t even count. And he is sleeping, peacefully, like nothing is happening… but Roger feels like he never woke up… and it’s probably it. He is in a coma. And Roger put him in this situation.

He sits on the chair next the bed and takes Brian left hand. He kisses it. He contemplated for a second to kiss his lips, like in some fairytale, that this way he will wake up and say he loved him back.

“I’m so sorry, Bri, I never meant to hurt you… I’m sorry I put you in this situation, please wake up, I will make it up to you, please, don’t leave me.”

He says more than four words for the first time since the accident, it’s been a little more than 24 hours, but it feels like the eternity.

“It wasn’t your fault, Rog. It was the other driver’s… he is already in jail.” He doesn’t know who is talking to him, but he nods and cries again.

“You need to tell him, Rog. I’m sure he loves you too.”

He manages a sad smile between his tears. “I can’t. He will marry soon, he has a girlfriend, he loves her. I can’t do this to him.”

“Are you seeing her here? We called her, but she never came. You are here, you are always there for him, you’ll always be. And he will always be there for you.”

Ok. He thinks he can do it. If Deaky said it is true… So he wipes the tears that are still on his face, takes a deep breath and leans to whisper on Brian’s ear. “I love you, Bri. I love everything about you. I love how you play your guitar, I love how you sing, I love how you talk about the stars, I love how you want to take care of every animal we see that are hurt. I want to spend my whole life with you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, so please, please, wake up. You don’t have to love me back, just be in my life, please. I love you Bri, so much, I’m sorry I never said it before… I’m sorry I almost killed you.”

He closes his eyes and leans even more to press a soft and quick kiss on his lips. When he opens his eyes again he is met by the hazel eyes he loves the most and a tired smile in Brian’s face. He is saying ‘ I love you too ’.

Chapter Text

Since the beginning Roger knows that Brian is smart. He is not only smart, he is the smartest. He can write songs and compose guitar solos like nobody else. He can understand the complex theories of his subject of study and it alone can make Roger truly impressed.

He likes telling the other people how handsome Brian is. His long curly dark hair that frames his face perfectly, his deep hazel eyes that can read your soul. 

He likes telling their friends how Brian touches him. His long fingers that traces his skin, his long legs that wraps in his as they sleep together, his soft lips that kiss him like there is no tomorrow. 

But what he loves the most is telling the world how smart Brian is. 

Sometimes he can be depressed, like the time when he dropped his PhD to chase their dreams with the band and thought he was not good enough to do both things. But he was only doing what he loves, with the people he loves, and Roger made sure to remind him about it everyday. 

Then in the middle of the night he wakes Roger up, the blonde, who always hated to have his sleep interrupted, smiles at him because he knows something is coming. Of course it is another brilliant song, which Roger quickly comes with the drums and they have half of the song ready in one night. He never complains because he loves seeing the glowing in his face when he is sharing something he is passionate about, even if it is in the middle of the night.

At the free weekends Brian likes to take care of the hedgehogs. He is so good with animals, and Roger loves it, he loves to spend hours watching Brian playing with them.

And there’s also the fact that after years he returned to study and finished his PhD… like, how can someone in the world be more smart than Brian? Roger doesn’t know, this person is yet to be born. 

And his voice… how can Roger forget to mention the calm and sweet voice his amazing boyfriend has? Oh… sometimes he forgets that now they are husbands… If Roger went deaf and he could choose only one sound to hear for the rest of his life, it would be Brian’s voice. 

He wants to do everything to make sure the man that wakes up beside him on the bed is happy. Everyday. He wants to make sure that Brian does everything he likes: taking care of the animals, photographing, playing his guitar, going on tour even if they are now just two old Queens. 

Roger loves Brian, and sometimes he is caught thinking about why Brian chosen him and thinking about how smart Brian is.

He is so lucky, and he wants to spend the rest of his life just like this… loving the smartest and most beautiful souls that this world ever seen.

Chapter Text

When Roger met Brian he was 28. His family were pressuring him to find someone to get married and have children… his sister, younger than him, is constantly used as an example.

“Rog, your sister is already married and has a son, when will you give us a grandchild too?”

He loves his parents, but for god’s sake, he is sick of it. He doesn’t like being told what to do, even if getting married and having children is what he wants for his future, he doesn’t want to do it because his parents told him to do. He hoped, a few years ago, that Dominique would be the one, he even bought a ring to propose, but at the end it didn’t work and they finished their relationship as good friends. 

But one day he was in a bar with Freddie and John, being the third wheel as always, when a handsome tall with big curly hair caught his attention. He was staring, he knows… the man looked at him and gave him a shy smile… maybe it is his lucky day. He kept drinking his beer and occasionally looked at the man. It was fine, until Freddie followed his look and found the source of Roger being so distracted. He laugh and Roger wasn’t understanding until his friend got up and marched to the man he was ogling for the past hour. He panicked, what is Freddie doing? 

He brings the man to their table, they are talking like they know each other for… “Rog, this is my good friend Brian… Bri, this is my good friend Roger.”

Roger is absolutely mesmerized by the man, he is even more handsome up close, he forgot how to speak. Especially when he opened his mouth and said. “Nice to meet you, Roger.” He fell in love right there.

It was five years ago. 

Now they have a small house and just got married. They are more in love than ever and Roger is sure no one even knew him the way Brian does, he feels so loved and safe, it is everything he ever asked for.

In addition, Brian has a son. When they met Jimmy had 10 months and Brian was afraid that Roger wouldn’t want to have a serious relationship with him because of the baby, especially that he has shared custody with his ex wife, Chrissie. The boy spends two weeks with them and two weeks with his mother. They live just 30 minutes apart, which is a good thing considering school and friends, and the four of them have a great relationship - Chrissie also got married.

But even with a perfect little family, they both now that something is missing. Roger loves seeing the way Brian treats his son, he is a very loving but also firm father. And at 33 years old, Roger can feel he is ready to have a baby. He feels free to discuss it with his husband and he is more than happy to discover that Brian feels the same.

They are ready to add another member to their family.

It took them half a year to conceive, they decided not to get frustrated, everything was fine, they both checked up at the doctor, apparently it is normal for some people body to take a while to eliminate the hormones the birth control pills threw at their bodies after taking it for a long time.

“Do you think you’re pregnant? For real?” He’s been feeling ill for a week now, and with all his symptoms he is sure he is.

“Yes, but we should take a test and call the doctor!”

They were really excited, it is an unique experience, one he knows he will only be able to feel with Brian. Since they started dating they did everything together, every decision were made as a couple and being there waiting for the pregnancy test with his husband holding him, or when they went to the hospital to do an ultrasound and Brian was there by his side… he feels safe and loved.

When they reached the mark of the 12th week, they decided it is time to tell their families. Roger is sure his family will jump in joy, they were in tears when he got married and all they wanted was to have another member in the family. Brian parents they are sure will love too, they love their grandson, they surely will love another one. Chrissie already told them she won’t have another baby with her husband, so this baby will be Jimmy only brother or sister…

“God, how will we tell him?” Brian was freaking out… “What if he thinks we will love him less because of the new baby? And he decides he doesn’t want to stay with us anymore?”

“Bri, I’m sure he will love… and he is six, he can’t decide these things.”

So the next day when they pick up Jimmy, they took him to eat ice cream and watch a movie, two things he loves. Brian is trying to tame his son, but Roger is sure the boy will be thrilled.

“So, Jimmy, are you enjoying?”

The little boy nods. Roger throws Brian a look trying to say ‘just say it’.

“Jimmy, have you ever wanted to have a brother or a sister?” Roger asks.

“Yessssss, I asked mum, but she doesn’t like to talk about babies.”

The blond was about to say something else, but Brian beat him. They agreed that Brian is going to break the news, being his father, but Roger thought that his husband was too nervous to say anything. “That’s good, because in a few months you will be a big brother.”

“Really?” The boy smiles, and Brian smiles with him. Roger is crying, but he can blame the hormones. “If it is a girl can we name her Rory?”

They nod. It is all Roger ever asked for.

Chapter Text

Roger always thought of recording as the good part of being in a band. Ok, you have the pressure of the schedule, but at the end of the day you can go home and relax. Being on a tour is fun, you meet new places and people, you can feel the love of the fans, but you are constantly tired and sleeping in hotel rooms that only now are comfortable…

This time they decided not to take any breaks, so when they finished the tour they went straight to the studio to record, they can’t waste their inspiration. But since they were in the middle of the tour, about eight months ago, Roger was beginning to feel a little sick. He didn’t tell his band mates, they, especially Brian, would’ve made him go to see a doctor and they would’ve postponed concerts that really didn’t need to be postponed, he was fine, just constantly nauseous and tired. But he got better, it was probably just the country…

But now he is getting tired again. He needs more breaks than before and Freddie is getting impatient with his behavior. He also can’t help but feel too much things, he cries when Freddie shouts at him and when John is cold with him. They still progress with the new album, but it is getting more difficult each day. 

When they are home, poor Brian has to do everything while Roger sleeps or just lays on the bed watching the stars Brian put there to explain the constellations when Roger just wants to hear his voice. And he’s been wanting it more everyday for the past months, the only thing that helps him calm down is Brian’s voice. The guitarist is so worried that he is almost dragging the drummer to see a doctor, it can’t be normal.

But the worst was yet to come. 

That day Roger woke up with a pain in his stomach, he had never felt it before. After a couple of breaths, that he thankfully learned after having to sing and drum at the same time, he felt better. Brian was already in the kitchen, so he could not tell his boyfriend what happened. They ate quickly, even if Roger wasn’t feeling well to put anything in his stomach - that was hurting a bit, and went straight to the studium.

There things got worse. He couldn’t focus as he was having strong cramps and stretch his arms to drum was becoming impossible. But he didn’t want to bother, they needed to record this song today. But the pain was almost unbearable. When they took a break, instead of walking outside, like he always does, he collapsed on the couch, caching Brian’s attention.

“Rog?” And instead of replying he moaned in pain. It can’t be normal.

The next thing he feels is Brian lifting him and asking Freddie and John to open the doors and the car. Thankfully the hospital is close to the studio, and the ride took about five minutes, with Brian certainly getting a ticket because of the speed.

The brunet was desperate, what could be wrong with Roger? He knows he’s not been feeling well lately and yet he hadn’t done anything, he should’ve brought him to see a doctor earlier, he can’t think it might be late now… But then the doctor on call had a calm expression, almost like nothing was wrong at all. 

They both were shocked when she explained what was happening after only touching the area that was hurting. 

“You are in labour, Mr. Taylor.” She wasn’t showing emotions, point on being a doctor, and Brian didn’t know what to think. How? How they didn’t realized such a huge thing? Roger was no better, he had a life developing inside of him for months and he didn’t even know. It’s just then that they remember the little changes, the morning sickness, mood changing, tiredness and Roger indeed gained a little weigh…

But they couldn’t even discuss it, because the doctor informed that he was fully dilated and could push when he feel the need. It lasted about twenty minutes, but he’s not sure. Brian is whispering sweet nothings to comfort his boyfriend while at the same time he tried not to freak out because he is about to become a father and he doesn’t know if he is ready. But now it’s not the time because a very surprising loud cry started in the room. Their baby is in this world and they didn’t even know that.

They should be thinking about the nursery and clothes and safety in their house and everything they should’ve done to get ready for a baby, but they have none and they definitely are not thinking about it right now, because a nurse is putting a tiny red thing in Roger’s arms. “Congratulations, it’s a girl.” 

And they both laugh, because it’s so unbelievable, they started the day as a family of two and now they are a family of three. But as it was unexpected it doesn’t mean they are not happy, how could they not be? How could a child that is theirs not put a real happiness in their lives?

“Hey there, little girl. We love you so much.” Brian is the first one to speak, and there are tears in his eyes, he still can’t believe it.

“How should we name her?” Roger asks, looking up at his boyfriend.

“Have no idea.” 

And they laugh again, looking at their little miracle, their sweet surprise.