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Published:
2014-07-06
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1/1
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Day 3

Summary:

Mike started working for Harvey on a Monday. In my imagination, this is what happened on Wednesday.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Although Mike had come to understand almost from the moment he met Harvey that expecting the unexpected would quickly become his new normal, watching The Great One glide in to the office almost a half hour after their scheduled meeting time was definitely not what Mike had anticipated, particularly on what was only their third day together. He naturally assumed that something more urgent had come up, and waited anxiously for Harvey to explain, forgetting that he was not remotely near the stage at which he would be entitled to an explanation.

Instead, Harvey merely unpacked a set of files from his meticulously kept briefcase without so much as a glance in his underling’s direction. Mike shifted around a bit, trying to draw a look, a word, an acknowledgement of his existence, something. When his new boss finally deigned to speak, it appeared to be out of mere annoyance at Mike’s inappropriately quizzical expression.

“What?” he asked with equal parts bark and bite.

“Um…you’re…uh… late?” Mike managed to stammer, instantly regretting having spoken at all. “I was just…well…”

He was already drowning and Harvey let him sink, enjoying it perhaps a bit more than he should have. He came around the desk, stood facing Mike with his back to the office door, folded his arms, and waited to see if his young associate would grab for a lifeline or continue to sputter. He placed an imaginary bet on sputter – and won.

“I was expecting…you said meet you here at…y’know…well….OK, shutting up now…”

Harvey’s expression was a mixture of smirk and scowl - the first but certainly not the last time Mike would see it.

“First of all, I don’t operate on the same time clock as everyone else, as you’ve now officially learned. I’ve earned that. Second, not that it’s any of your business, I had a guest this morning. Took me awhile to get away.”

“A guest? What – do you run a talk show from your living room?” Mike blurted before his obviously non-functional brain editor could run its catch-and-eliminate routine.

“Very funny. I’d say ‘keep your day job’ but of course, that’s my call. Like I said, not that it’s any of your business.”

For reasons Mike couldn’t have explained at gunpoint, he persisted.

“Is she someone special?”

(Why did he hope that she wasn’t?)

“Not really. I just met her last night.”

“Last night?! Where?”

“Jessica took me out for drinks to celebrate my miraculous closing of the SGR deal. It’s a little ritual of ours. Lisa was our waitress.”

“Lisa, huh? So…”

Mike looked down at his shoes, because he didn’t know where else to look.

“Do you think you’ll see her again?”

(Please say 'no.' What?)

“I doubt it. Besides…”

Harvey put his hands in his pockets, a mischievous grin on his insanely handsome face.

“Besides, what?” Mike asked.

“Something tells me she won’t want to see me again once she finds out. And they always find out.”

“Finds out what?” Mike pressed, taking a big gulp of his now-lukewarm coffee.

“That I took one of her co-workers home with me three nights ago.”

Mike’s spontaneous spit-take made him feel like a sitcom character. He was sure he could hear a studio audience laughing their asses off, no sweetening required. Luckily, he was able to jerk his head just enough to the left to avoid splattering Harvey’s incredibly expensive suit. The dry-cleaning bill would surely have cost him a month’s rent.

Why does that not surprise me?” he managed, choking on the little bit of coffee that hadn’t sprayed all over the floor of Harvey’s office. “So what was her name? Not that it’s any of my business…”

Harvey waited a beat so his answer would land just the way he wanted it to.

“If I remember correctly, although I probably don’t, it was…Jason.”

“Oh. Wait, what?”

Harvey grinned, did a Groucho Marx double-eyebrow raise, spun on his heel and strode out of the office, down the hall toward the elevators.

“Wait there. I’ll be right back,” he called over his shoulder.

Mike leaned back heavily against the desk, grateful for the support, as he was now fully convinced that his brain was spinning inside of his skull, having detached from its stem upon hearing the name Jason. It was several seconds before his synapses began firing in a coherent pattern.

“What just happened here?” he mumbled out loud to no one, gently tapping the heel of his hand against the side of his head as if trying to shake water out of his ear. It was easily another thirty seconds before he was able to shuffle over to the open office doorway.

“Um, Donna?” he asked plaintively.

“Not now, kid,” she replied, her flying fingers never breaking their stride. She was careful to keep her head turned sideways so that Mike couldn’t see her highly amused expression. She was surprised, and a little delighted, that Harvey had set Mike up so early in the game - she hadn’t expected that. She made a mental note to corner him about it later in the day. Maybe he was already one step ahead of her? Nah, he couldn’t be – not possibly.

Mike drifted back into the office, took a seat on the couch in front of the desk, and waited. He couldn’t decide which element of this confusing incident had thrown him the furthest. At the moment, it was a dead heat between Harvey picking up someone named Jason (or so he said), and where exactly Mike had gotten the balls to question Harvey about his personal life in the first place. And WTF, why did he give a crap about whether or not his boss was going to continue seeing some random cocktail waitress named Lisa?

There was only one possible explanation: the scientific community had failed to notify the public that planet Earth had suddenly tilted off of its axis.

When Harvey finally returned a few minutes later, they resumed work on their case exactly where they had left off the day before, without further discussion about Lisa, Jason, or any other part of their earlier exchange - as if it had never happened.

Had it?

“OK, I get it,” Mike said silently to himself. “He didn’t mean that. He’s just screwing with me.” The thought made his stomach flutter.

 

*****

It was nearly 7:00 that evening before She Who Knows All found an opportunity to interrupt Harvey without risking a “Not now, Donna” brush-off. She finished up the draft she was working on, put it in her outbox for proofing, then breezed into his office with her usual effortless, nonchalant flair.

“So – that was quite a little performance you put on for the kid this morning.”

“I’m sure you mean something by that, Addison, but I don’t know what,” Harvey replied in his best Eve Harrington voice, without breaking his gaze on the laptop in front of him.

Donna looked down and smiled indulgently, head shaking in knowing disbelief. She was fairly certain that she was still the only person in the world who knew that Harvey Specter, Trekkie extraordinaire, sports car enthusiast, and everyone’s idea of a man’s man, could nevertheless recite nearly the entire screenplay of All About Eve line for line. (Or that his sympathies had always lain with Eve, not Margo.) That relatively obscure quip was one of his favorites. He used it on her constantly – it was part of their shorthand.

“I mean the whole Lisa/Jason thing. He’s disoriented enough just trying to navigate his way around the building. I don’t think he was quite ready for the latest installment of “Harvey Specter: Sexual Dynamo.”

“I was just having a little fun with him. As his boss, I think I’m entitled to that. Don’t you?”

“Of course you are, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I plan on having plenty of fun with him myself. But you might want to start out by having your fun with something a little less likely to…well, let’s just say he’s been searching for the top of his head all day, after you blew it off this morning. You should have seen the look he gave me as you were waltzing down the hall.”

“I’m sure he can handle it, Donna. Give the kid some credit. And I don’t waltz, I swan. Just ask Louis.”

“I understand he’s a genius, Harvey. But he also looks like Santa just rescued him from the Island of Misfit Toys.”

Harvey appreciated the allusion, grinning conspiratorially.

“So are you telling me you think he has square wheels on his caboose?”

You’re more likely to know about his caboose than I am, Harvey. And don’t even think about asking me if I think his water pistol shoots jelly. I am not going to go there with you.”

“Hey, you brought it up. I’m just going with the flow.”

“And as usual you’re purposely missing my point. Take it easy on him. He’s still trying to figure out how he fits in around here, and where he stands with you. It’s already painfully obvious that your approval means everything to him right now. Watching his head spin like a top may amuse you but it’s not going to help you get what you need from him. So unless you’re planning on doing something about it…”

“Doing something about what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Eve. You know exactly what I mean by that.”

“Good night, Donna.”

“Harvey…”

“I appreciate your input.”

Harvey…”

“Thanks for playing. So sorry you lost, but we have lovely parting gifts for you. Johnny, tell her what she’s won…”

Donna had seen this movie many times before, and she knew how it ended.

“I’m not going to get the last word here, am I.” she fumed, more statement of fact than question.

“Do you ever?”

“You’d be surprised how often I do, especially when you’re not around to hear it.”

“I always hear it, no matter where I am.”

Donna rolled her eyes in exasperation, twirled out of the office, grabbed her sweater and purse in one fluid motion and left Harvey to his work, allowing him to believe that he had actually gotten the last word.

“We’ll see about that,” she muttered under her breath.

“I heard that.”

Damn him.

Notes:

This is actually Chapter 9 of a much longer fic that I started eons ago but have never had the time or the patience to finish. But it was fun to write so I thought it might be fun to read.