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something to believe

Summary:

Sasha never knew what she was looking for, exactly. She just knew it was something. It had to be.

Notes:

oKAY, so this was based off the song Andromeda by Weyes Blood that i've been listening on repeat since i started tales until now, so! yeah, enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StSEXZcwOB4

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Andromeda's a big, wide open galaxy
Nothing in it for me except a heart that's lazy
Running from my own life now
I'm really turning some time
Looking up to the sky for something I may never find

 

Sasha never knew what she was looking for, exactly. She just knew it was something. It had to be.


It wasn't a person, at least she would like to think she was better than that. As much as Fiona would rather believe she was still a kid with her head in the clouds, at seventeen, Sasha had long stopped dreaming of a knight in shining armor - the guy or girl who would save her from the hell that was Pandora and keep her safe and sound.


It was something else. An experience. An adventure. A gamble.


"Your life is already a gamble. Stop wanting to die." she could hear her sister's voice beside her whenever she dared to dream out loud.


"I don't wanna die, okay? But if I do, I want it to mean something. That's not...much to ask."


"Well, good luck with that, sis. You're not gonna die for a reason because you're not gonna die. Not on my watch. Not before me. I'm the big sis, I go first."


She forced a smile.  For sure, Fiona thought her words would come out as uplifting - for someone who made a living out of charming people, she sure didn't try hard enough on her sister - but it only made her hide her hopes for the future deeper in the basement of her brain.


It was okay. That's where they should be anyway.



Stop calling

It's time to let me be
If you think you can save me
I'd dare you to try

 

Every near-death experience made her feel closer to it. She saw Fiona brush it off, come out stronger and face it again; saw Felix critique it as a reckless move and eventually ignore it; but she felt it. She felt death.


She didn't like it. She didn't want to die, at least not here. Not while trying to rob an ordinary bandit, in an ordinary alley, with ordinary means.


"Stop squirming."


"Stop moving a needle up my arm!"


"Fiona, tell your sister to stop it."


Her sister was laying on the couch, surgically polishing and examining her newfound best friend: a dirt white hat with golden borders. It was a nice fit with her long locks, but Sasha thought her sister, on the edge of seventen, would surely have other things in her mind by now: things like boys - something that even herself was starting to take notice by now.


Hm. Guess not.


"Pfft, what makes you think she listens to me."


"You're the oldest, she looks up -"


"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Sasha screamed, dropping her fist on the table and accidentally moving her opposite arm along with it. "SHIT!"


"God, Sasha, I said stop squirming!"


"I'M NOT!" she protested, but only made Felix roll his eyes harder.


She meant to say more, but wasn't sure they'd like to hear it.


Not sure they'd hear it at all, to be honest.


 Lift the heart from the depths it's fallen to
We all want something new
But can't seem to follow through
Something's better than nothing
Or so that I thought
Now I know it's just one dream
All these others gonna tear me apart

 

This wasn't it, she knew. Didn't stop her from wanting to believe the contrary, though.


August was a mark. Nothing more, nothing less. Great sex, nice face to look at, but nothing else but a rock on her way out of Pandora.


When Felix told them about the plan, her eyes lit up like a goddamn lightbulb. This was it, she thought, finally. She wasn't gonna die on this shithole of a planet, this was not her final destination.


Fiona thought so, too. However, even after almost two decades past their fateful meeting with Felix, her sister still wouldn't dare to show just how impressed and excited she was with the man's plan.


Sasha, almost two decades later, still envied that.


Her own excitement died down a bit after she learned that, as always, she'd be the one to seduce the mark - ugh - and to make them fall in love with her.


Fiona was supposed to come in, months later and close the deal. Of course she was.


At least - to Sasha's luck and compared to previous marks - August was actually kind of nice.


Sure, he was a murderer who killed three guys right in front of her on their second day together. But this was Pandora, after all, the planet where 99% of the population killed someone before breakfast.

 

So, kind of nice. Sort of.


He wasn't much of a talker, - which she appreciated most of the time because there was only so much her imagination could do for her and making up new lies was only digging a deeper grave for herself - dug his guns, and treated her - again, compared to previous marks - surprisingly well.


If she wanted to - if she really wanted to - she could almost pretend that this was real. Not the con of her lifetime. This was real.


"Hey, Babe?"


"Mm?"


She hesitated for a second. "Do you - do you wanna leave Pandora?"


"Pfft. Who doesn't?"


She could've left it at that but - "Are you going to? I mean...if you have the slightest chance?"


She could hear screaming from the outside, silence on the inside.


"I don't know. No one ever leaves this fucking planet and I sure as fuck am not gonna be the lucky one who does it. No one I know will. No one can."


A deep sigh left her mouth. "Yeah, you're probably right."


She left it at that.


"Besides," he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a warm kiss on the cheek. "I've got all I want right here, on Pandora."


She was sure he meant that to be comforting, but the growing uneasiness in her heart disagreed.


 Love is calling
It's time to let it through
Find a love that will make you
I dare you to try

 

She lost the flower.


"You were in the middle of a shooting, of course you lost the fucking flower." she thought to comfort herself. "It's not a big deal, stop being silly."


She smiled at the flash of the recent memory, though.

 

Rhys didn't get her by surprise, as much as he'd like to believe so.


She noticed the way he looked at her during their entire trip to the Atlas facility, attended her training sessions with Athena and actually appreciated the way he ate her entire egg sandwich with a smile on his face, even though even she realized it was far from being her greatest meal.

 


"This, - wow, just - just fantastic, Sasha. Chief Ramsay is probably committing suicide right now."


"Uhh, pretty sure he's dead already."


"Vault hunters." Athena chimed in, sandwich untouched after claiming to be allergic to eggs.


"Yeah, that's why there aren't anymore Masterchief episodes."


"Oh, well, I mean if he was alive, he would definitely kill himself. That's how good this is."


Another bite. A hard swallow with a smile on.

 

Poor guy.

 


But she didn't care. She was too focused on the mission, on the feeling that this might finally be it. The meaning she was secretly was looking for. Gortys. The vault.


A way out. Of. Pandora.

 


"Okay, so, I'm, gonna, stick, this, on your head and please don't stab me."


"Ookay."


The word stumbling didn't do much as prepare her for the feeling of his robot hand on her ear, metal fingers attempting at the seemingly impossible task of being delicate.


"And there you go."

 


And that was that. After the odd - definitely not romantic - moment, they were attacked by the previosly inoffensive flying glowy things and hoped any type of jiff between would be forgotten.


It should've been: after that, shooting, shooting and more shooting ensued, and the realization that the flower was gone from her hair didn't fall upon her until she and Fiona finally took a break on the way to Scooter's garage.


Damn it, she could've kept it. It was a nice flower after all.


"It's okay, neither of you is gonna remember it anyway in a few days. It's okay."


 Crazy guy
I think this is deep
Think it's meant to be
More than anything I can think of
I'm ready to try

 

"Well, forgive me for wanting to employ you."


"Ugh, I didn't say no, I just..."


"What? What are the cons of working for the future biggest company in the galaxy with your boyfriend?!"


They were laying together in bed, his left arm wrapped around her and caressing her own, having the discussion she wanted to avoid for as long as she possibly could.


"Uh, technically I'll be working for my boyfriend, not with him."


"Will you stop that?" she could sense him looking at her the entire time but instead averted her gaze and focused on a spot in the wall. "I told you we're doing this together, okay? We talked about this."


Rhys was such an idealist, someone who could picture things in perfect harmony and believe in it. She envied that.


"I mean, sure, I'm the CEO, we can't share that positon but I'm not an asshole, Sash. You'll be my parter in this. I promise. We'll raise this corporate baby together."


For the months they'd been together, Sasha hated that she came close - more than once - to sympathizing with Rhys' corporate upbringing: according to him, his mothers weren't exactly what he'd call motherly, and probably considered his birth more of a social obligation and 'keeping up the evolution' sort of deal. They were corporate, so he wanted to be corporate too. It was as simple as that. It was built inside him just like conning was inside her. She had - they had to understand each other. That's what made relationships work.


And she wanted this to work, for real.


"Okay but -" she slipped out of his care and faced him. She was gonna regret this. "What if we break up?"


He just stared at her for a few seconds. He blinked a few times and finally -


"What if we break up?! Are you seriously thinking that? That we're gonna break up? Like, already?"


Yep, she definitely regretted this.


"Damn, Sasha, it hasn't even been a year I - I thought you wouldn't be thinking like this until, I don't know - the second one!"


"Rhys, that's not -"


"No "What if we get married, Rhys, how is that going to change out work dynamic?" he made a dramatic gesture with his arms and that's when she realized he was mocking her. "No "What happens when we have kids, Rhys, who's gonna be a stay at home dad?!"


"Shut up." she wanted to be mad at him for saying these things, these so-damn-out-of-reach-it-was-laughable things, but laughed instead.


"What if we break up?! Well, obviously  I'm gonna fire you and send you off the planet, no questions asked."


Her smile ceased and her gaze fell onto the mattress. What if.


Rhys noticed her silence. He always did. "S-Sash?"

 

She looked up. "You know I wouldn't do that, right? That I'm joking in a totally not funny way? Hey." He took her face into his hands.

 

Even the robotic one felt warm.


"And that's Rhys for you." was the only thought echoing in her head.


"I know, asshole." she held onto his right arm. "I know you're not an asshole."


He grinned. "Good. It's good that you know that."


She doesn't remember who started the kiss but soon they were tucked in their previous position, just...laying there.


For a period, Sasha thought opening the vault, almost dying for it, was the meaning her life needed. She fulfilled her role, there was nothing more to it.


She had doubts about it, now.

 

Maybe the something was still to come.

 

Maybe.


"Oh, and if you do choose to work with me and if we do get married, I assure you that's not gonna change out work dynamic in anything. Wifey."


"I am going to kill you, robot ass."

 

 

Notes:

yes, as a daughter of lesbians I made Rhys be have two moms too bc he acts like someone who did (me), I exist