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Never Ending Mess

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Namjoon took a deep breath adjusting the mask on his face. The mask felt both strange and pleasant at the same time. After having spent the past year in Seattle where people think you have the plage if you show up with a mask the mask felt weird. He wasn’t used to begin able to shield his face from the cold wind with a mask and not have people walk in a circle around him. He pulled the mask up higher. It had been one he had found on accident whilst cleaning out his closet on Seattle. It wasn’t one of those cheap ones but one he didn’t even remember owning, the scent of cinnamon and ginger still lingering if he breathed deep enough. He scanned the crowd in the arrivals section of the airport, looking for a mop of pink hair and another with blue.

He hadn’t really seen his college friends since he moved for a semester abroad in his last year, that then turned into a job offering and then a permanent hire as a developer with google. That was three years ago, now he was returning home, having been offered a job at seoul in the newly opened branch there.

“Namjoon hyung!” Taehyung yelled over the crowd. Namjoon whipped his head around to the sound of the voice but couldn’t spot him. It wasn’t until he was a few meters in front of him that Namjoon realized that both him and jimin had changed their hair, now both sporting neutral browns. Taehyung was holding their two year old son Soobin who was hiding his face in his father's neck. Jimin barreled into Namjoon, the alpha almost knocking Namjoon down.

“Hello Jiminie.” Namjoon said, embracing his friend.

“You are not allowed to move back hyung.” Jimin said holding on tightly. “Ever.”

“Okay!” Taehyung said, using the hand that wasn't holding soobin to pull at Jimin. “My turn! Take your kid!” Taehyung whined. Jimin let go reluctantly and pulled soobin into his arms, who whined and made grabby hands for his father. Namjoon barely had any time to see the face of his god son before he was again takel hugged.

“You now you don’t need to squeeze so hard right?” Namjoon wheezed as Taehyung hugged tighter than jimin had. Soobin was whining in the background clearly not happy. Namjoon just ran his hand over taehyung's back and hugged him back tighter.

“I'm not letting you flee back.” Taehyung said. “I haven't seen you in 3 and a half years. You know people usually come back during holidays, right?”

“And you know damn well that americans dont allow for much free time, muchless to interns.” Namjoon said pulling down his mask so his words weren’t muddled any more. Taehyung pulled back from the hug and took Soobin from Jimin who instantly calmed down and started scenting Taehyung's neck.

“See.” Jimin said and rubbed the back of his son a fond smile on his face. “I told you he likes you better. He never lets me hold him when he’s just woke up.”

“That’s because you never stay and cuddle during the morings, mister i'm going to take a run at six am to get my blood running.” Taehyung said and then cooed at his son. “Soobinie, do you want to say hi to unce Namjoon?” Namjoon heard a mumbled hello.

“Hi Soobinie.” Namjoon said waving his fingers at Soobin. Soobin said nothing, just pulled on his dad's shirt and sucked on his pacifier.

“I would offer you to hold him, but he is a grumpy little boy right now, huh Soobinie.” Taehyung said, bouncing him. Soobin gave no inclination that he heard his father in any way. “How was your flight?”

“Long.” Namjoon said and pushed the trolley he had with his two bags and carry on forward. “I’m going to be honest with you I don’t even know what year it is right now. I’m so tired and confused, I had forgotten how horrible traveling over the IDL was.”

“Don’t worry.” Jimin said and pulled the duty free bag from Namjoon and started walking in the direction Namjoon assumed led to the parking. “You can nap in the car with Soobin. I had the pleasure of trying to keep him awake during the ride here so his schedule wouldn’t be that messed up and now you can sit in the back with him and take a nap.” Jimin faced his mate and stroked the head of Soobin, cooing a tiny bit.

“Thanks jimin.” Namjoon said pushing the trolley after the small family.


Namjoon woke up to the sound of a blood curdling scream. He blinked his eyes momentarily confused as to where he was. He then realized he was back home in Korea.

“Oh good!” Taehyung said. “Can you get Soobins binkie hyung? It fell out when he was sleeping and he’s not happy he doesn’t have it.” Namjoon just grunted and looked around for it. He saw i and went to hand it to the kid but before he could taehyung let out a noise.

“What?” Namjoon said, very confused and very tired.

“You don't just hand him the binkie when it was on the floor!” Taehyung tisked at him. “Hyung, honestly, you don’t just place dirty things in front of toddlers, they will eat it!”

“What should I do?” Namjoon said, Soobin making grabby hands at the binkie and his cries for it  not lessening.

“Clean it on your sweater and then hand it to him.” Jimin said from the driver's seat. Namjoon did as told and then handed it to Soobin, who took it in his hands, fumbled with it and then dropped it on the ground again, crying once more.

“Honestly.” Taehyung said and reached in the backseat, wiping of the binkie and sticking it straight into the toddlers mouth. Soobin quieted down quickly after that. “I’m so glad you haven't had any kids yet.”

“Me too.” Namjoon said still half asleep and thoroughly confused. He blinked his eyes and saw through the front window the city of seoul.

“Doggy.” Soobin muttered and Namjoon saw a dog in the backseat of a car next to them.

“Yes baby.” Jimin said. “Pretty doggy like Tanie.”

“Tanie.” Soobin said and turned to Namjoon, though it sounded more like anie. “Tanie say home ‘cause house is big.”

“He means his cage wouldn’t have fit.” Jimin translated for Namjoon, his confused face must have been pitiful.

“I see.” Namjoon said, feeling a bit scrutinized since soobin wouldn’t stop staring. “Hello.” Soobin just stared at him.

“Whe is you ome uncle?” Soobin asked. “Whe is clomplutel?”

“What?” Namjoon asked puzzled and turned to his friends. He could not for the life of him figure out what this kid wanted to say. Sure he had spoken to the kid, but always through a screen and mostly just for good night/morning

“Soobinie, binkie.” Jimin sighed and Soobin pulled the binkie out. “Uncle namjoon doesn’t live inside the computer. Remember, he lived in the united states of america and now he’s moving into Yeonjuns apartment.”

“Hyungmin.” Soobin said. “Yeonjun hyung.”

Jimin sighed again. “Yes baby, Yeonjun hyung.”

“Yeonjun is best.” Soobin said and Namjoon wasn’t sure who he was talking to. “Uncle, Yeonjun is best.”

“Yes.” Namjoon said, twirling his hands awkwardly. Taehyung laughed at him.

“For the love of everything, don’t have kids yet hyung.” Taehyung said. “He’s just trying to talk to you, not interrogate you.”

“Appa?”

“Yes baby.” Jimin said, glancing at the rear view mirror.

“Yeonjun hyung is hyung?” Namjoon caught a glimpse of Jimin's smile in the rear view mirror.

“Yes, Yeonjun is your hyung, just like Namjoon is my hyung and papas hyung.” Soobin just nodded to what his appa said and looked out the window again, apparently satisfied.

“APPA!” Soobin yelled out of the blue. Startling half the car. “Home!”

“Soobin, we don’t yell in the car.” Taehyung reprimanded his hand over his heart.

“Sorry papa. But home.” Soobin said, pointed out the window. Namjoon looked out to see an apartment building.

“I know baby.” Jimin said, turing into the driveway. “But no screaming in the car, ‘kay?” Soobin nodded and put his binkie back in his mouth. “If you didn’t hear, we have arrived.” Jimin said as he navigated the car into the space marked 4B. “I hope you dont mind that we stole the parking spot that came with your apartment. It's nice not to have to try and find parking in the street.”

“I still don’t have my licence so i dont see how I could use it.” Namjoon said as he opened the door and stretched out his legs before he stood up. He felt gross, stiff and sticky. He couldn’t wait to go and take a bath in the bathtub in his new apartment and sleep.

“Uncle up.” Soobin said as he toddled over reaching his hands up. Namjoon looked over to his friends, lost.

“Pick him up under the armpits and then hold his butt.” Taehyung said, pulling out his phone to most likely record this interaction and send to his friends. “Just don’t drop him, he’s limited edition.” Jimn laughed at that, pulling open the trunk.

“Okay.” Namjoon said, trying to follow the instructions to a T. He ended up with Soobin wriggling in his hold as Namjoon held onto him for dear life. He felt like he was holding onto one of those tube things, designed to make it impossible to hold onto.

“No no.” Soobin whined and Namjoon almost whined with him, not knowing what the kid wanted him to do. It took Taehyung only two whined papas to go and release Namjoon from this hell. “Uncle is weird” Soobin said, pointing an accusing finger at Namjoon, when he was safe in his father's arms.

“I know!” Taehyung stage whispered. “Come on, let us let weird uncle go to sleep and we will go and play with Tanie! How does that sound?” Soobin just whispered weird uncle and laughed, pointing at Namjoon. The duo walked away and into the building.

“Here, help me with this hyung.” Jimin said, lifting the last bag from the trunk. Namjoon reached into the car again to pull his backpack from the middle seat. Jimin had already pulled the carryon from where it had layen in the backseat. Namjoon hoisted the backpack on his shoulder and took one of the suitcases from Jimin's hand and took the duty free bag from the trunk as well. The duo made their way to the elevator.

“Where is Taehyung?” Namjoon asked when he couldn’t spot the two in front of the open elevator.

“Soobin has a fascination with stairs nowadays. If he can take the stairs he will take the stairs and will throw a fit if we have to push him into an elevator.” Jimin said, pressing the button for the 4th floor. “The terrible twos are just as terrible as everyone says. Jungkookie says they dont even stop at two.”

“Who?” Namjoon asked, he could never keep up with his friends ever growing group of friends.it came as no surprise to him that he didn’t know who this Jungkookie was.

“He’s Yeonjuns dad, one of soobins friends.” Jimin said. “You don’t know him since we haven’t really had time to talk for the last few weeks. He knocked on our door like two- three weeks ago, just after we told you that we had scored the apartment for you. He was the old tenant. Knocked on the door asking if we could babysit. Said he trusted us because he knew we had a kid. I hadn’t even seen him ever before that.”

“What?” Namjoon asked, stepping out of the elevator. “That sounds like a bit of flawed logic. Just ‘cause you’ve got a kid.”

“That’s what I thought.” Jimin said as he dug around in his pocket for his keys to and opened the door to the apartment. “But he said he was trying to move all his stuff and pack, said he would usually just ask his brother to babysit but he was helping him move his stuff. Yeonjun kept trying to help but was often just getting in the way and that they had to be out by next week and this was the one night that his brother was free to help him.” Jimin pushed the door wide open and Namjoon was met with the sight of boxes. He was not looking forward to opening all of them and unpacking. Packing had already been a horrible ordeal.

“So he couldn’t ask someone else to babysit?” Namjoon said navigating through the unfamiliar area, wishing he had someplace to sit down, his legs feeling like led. “He must have other friends?”

“He didn’t know anyone else who could do it last minute on a friday.” Jimin said as he handed Namjoon the key. “Get this, he’s two years younger than me and Taehyung and he has a kid that’s a whole year older than Soobin. All his friends are university friends and they were all drinking that night. We said yes, he looked like he was three seconds away from having a panic attack and Soobinie had already started talking to Yeonjun and was trying to pull him into our apartment to show him his cars.”

“And what? You just baby sat and now your friends?” Namjoon asked, opening the fridge and to his delight seeing food in there. “You went shopping for me?”

“Wasn’t going to let you starve.” Jimin said, clearly insulted as he leaned on one of the kitchen counters. “But yeah basically. He came to ask if Yeonjun could have Soobin over the next day since apparently he wouldn’t shut up about how he needed to show Soobin his animal collection. I went with them upstairs and we started talking and the boys had already become fast friends so we exchanged numbers to set up more playdates between the boys. Soobin barely has any friends his age since Taehyung works from home and apparently Yeonjun is shy.”

“Damn, so this was a win win!” Namjoon said, pulling out a bottle of soju from the fridge and raising it to Jimin. Jimin just nodded his head. “Soobin gets a friend and you get dad friends your age.”

“I know.” Jimin exclaimed. “It’s so nice to have someone who gets going to school with a kid at home. Though he has definitely has it way worse than Taehyung and I, since he’s doing everything on his own.”

“Shit.” Namjoon said as he opened the bottle of soju and took a sip from it, bottle ediket be damned. He hadn’t had soju for two years. “The kid needs a drink or twenty. How old did you say he was again?”

“97 liner.” Jimin said, making grabby hands for the bottle of soju. Namjoon whistled handing the bottle over to Jimin without fuss, knowing it was better not to get in the way of Jimin and soju.

“Damn.” Namjoon acclaimed. “He’s like young young.” Jimin handed Namjoon back the bottle. This whole scenario reminding Namjoon of when the two of them plus Taehyung were younger, sitting on the floor of the shitty one bedroom apartment and passing around bottles of soju and cans of beer until everything turned to mush. “Do you know what happened to the other parent?”

“No clue.” Jimin said pushing himself up onto the kitchen counter. “Like I said, I've only know him for a few weeks. Don’t think that's something you tell to someone after just knowing them for a few weeks.”

“True.” Namjoon said and opened the fridge again and pulled out some jjajangmyun. Namjoon felt as if he could cry, he knew for a fact that this was his mother's recipe, if the handwriting was anything to go by. “We’re not going out for lunch right?” His mouth was already watering with the thought of digging into the noodles.

“Nope.” Jimin said. “We guessed you would want to take a short nap and relax.” Jimin pointed to the opened bottle of soju on the counter. He hopped down from the counter and gave Namjoon another hug. “We’ll come and wake you up before we go out to eat tonight, your sister is coming with us.” He said as he walked out the door. “Take a nap, we have an extra set of keys.”

“Okay.” Namjoon said and followed Jimin through the maze of boxes to the front door, where his two suitcases lay.

“Oh, and call your mother, she will definitely drive here if you dont call her.” Jimin said, turning around in the opening of the door.

“I will.” Namjoon said before getting another armfull of Jimin.

“I missed you so much.” Jimin said into his shoulder. “I still cant believe that you are here, in front of me.”

“I missed you to.” Namjoon said, inhaling the cinnamon scent he loved so much.

“You don't leave.” Jimin said, pulling away from namjoon. “Not again. Soobin needs to know his godfather and Taehyung and I need you to stay.”

“I’ll stay until you get sick of me.” Namjoon said as jimin walked down the hallway to the staircase.

“Then you’re staying forever since I will never be sick of you.” Jimin called down the hallway and Namjoon just rolled his eyes, closing the door. He turned to face his apartment. It was smaller than the one he had in Seattle, but he felt that didn’t matter, since he could now walk over to his friends and ask for a hug or scenting. He could speak a korean again and take a walk down the block to find comfort food. He could use the metric system! One of the biggest perks ever!

He made his way back into the kitchen, putting the microwave safe box of jjajangmyun into the microwave. He scrolled through his phone as he eat the noodles and drank the soju. When he felt full and the pleasant buzz of alcohol under his skin he put the reminder of both into the fridge and made his way to his suitcase again.

He walked to the bedroom, pushing the suitcase he knew contained his shorts in front of him. He was glad he hadn’t sold his mattress before he left for the state, since that meant he didn’t have to sleep on a cheap mattress or an air mattress, whilst he waited for a new one. He opened the door and saw that his bed was already made and ready. He was eternally grateful for the angle that is Park Jimin. He was about to lay in the bed when he remembered how gross and sticky he felt. He made his way into the bathroom, showring as quickly as possible, since the alcohol had made him sleepy. He haphazardly wrapped a towle around his waist as he left the bathroom, having only half dried of.

He opened the suitcase and pulled up his sleeping shorts,pulling them on and throwing the towel on the only piece of furniture in the bedroom, the dresser. Namjoon felt bone tired and he flopped onto the bed, army crawling his way to the pillows. He pulled the covers out from under him and over his head, not bothering with the curtains and closed his eyes, breathing in the faint scent of cinnamon left by Jimin.


“I found this toy in the back of the dresser that was left here.” Namjoon said as Taehyung tried to get Soobin out of his stroller without waking him up. The three of them had just returned from a walk to the store to buy groceries. “I was putting all my junk into it and found it kind of hidden in the back of a drawer that wouldn’t open. Is it Soobins?” Namjoon asked lifting up the toy he had placed on the table in the living room.

“Hold up, let me check in a bit.” Taehyung said and pushed open the door to the bedroom with his hip. After being back for a week and a half Namjoon had gotten quite familiar with his god son, who needed naps if he wasn't supposed to become a devil by three oclock.

“Want the kkwabaegi or should I order churros?” Namjoon asked when Taehyung returned a few minutes later, having placed Soobin in Namjoon's bed. Namjoon still had his shoes on, intending to run downstairs to get them a sweet snack for the afternoon.

“Kkwabaegi. We had churros last time.”

“Okay.” Namjoon said standing up from the sofa to go downstairs. “Can you unpack the bag with the meat in it and place it in the fridge.”

“Sure.” Taehyung said and made his way into the kitchen. Namjoon went out, taking the steps two at a time. He arrived in front of the bakery in no time. He was waiting in line when he heard:

“Namjoon-ah?”

Namjoon turned around, seeing his roommate for his first year of university sitting at one of the tables by the window.

“Hobi!” Namjoon exclaimed hugging his old friend. “What? I never thought I'd see you in here!”

“Me neither.” Hoseok said. “I was on my way to say hello to my co worker but turns out he moved and forgot to let me know. Stopped here to grab something to eat. I’m so glad I did, I thought you lived in the usa or something like that?”

“I just moved back.” Namjoon said and noticed it was his turn to order. “Wait one secod hope-ah.” Namjoon said, the nickname slipping out. He hurried through his order, ordering enough kkwabaegi for four people, just in case Hoseok wanted to join them. Namjoon made his way back to Hoseok after he paid. “If you want to catch up, my house is not far from here.” Namjoon proposed.

“Sure!” Hoseok said. “Let me just ask for a bag for this sandwich and I’ll meet you outside?” Namjoon nodded, making his way to the front of the store, waiting just in front of the door leading outside. “Okay!” Hoseok exclaimed, bag in hand. “Lead the way. Tell me all about The states.”

“Nothing much to tell.” Namjoon began. “Finished my degree and was offered an internship at google as a glorified coffee runner and then after that was over they offered me a job as a developer. Lot of working with code and stuff. Now they want me to help the newly opened branch here in Seoul, since I'm so familiar with the code in the states. Got a promotion and a chance to move back home in one package.”

"Lucky.” Hoseok said. “I would kill to be able to get a job in developing. I’m still just working at that same studio, except full time now since I dont have school. It’s pretty hard to get an unpaid internship here.”

“I can see if Google is hiring.” Namjoon said. “I’m technically the senior adviser at the developing stage and I can see if they have some free places.”

“Really?” Hoseok exclaimed. “You would do that?”

“Ofcourse.” Namjoon said, punching in the code for the gate. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Just.” Hoseok began. “We haven’t talked in five years and we don’t really know each other that well anymore.”

“What do you mean.” Namjoon said, punching in the code for the door to his apartment complex. “You can't have changed that much in five years. Have you started to not clean up after yourself?”

“No…” Hoseok said, clearly confused.

“Then you seem to be the same Hoseok-ah that I know.” Namjoon said, calling for the elevator. “I have to warn you though, remember my friend Taehyung? 95 liner and always glued to Jiminie side?”

“Yeah. What about him?”

“Well him and Jimin had a kid and that kid is my godson and currently he is talking a nap in my bed. If you wake him up he will turn into either the cuddle monster or have the world's worst tantrum.” Namjoon answered, stepping inside the elevator and pressing the button for the fourth floor.

“Oh yeah!” Hoseok said. “I remember seeing pictures of the three of them on Instagram. He’s really cute.”

“He is.” Namjoon began. “He is very outgoing so don’t worry about frightening him. He loves cuddles. And cars. He really loves cars.” Namjoon stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the door to his apartment. “He will talk your- What?” Namjoon stopped in his tracks as Hoseok pulled on his arm.

“Wait you live in this apartment?” Hoseok laughed. “My coworker used to live here, the one I was going to visit? This is too funny.” Namjoon chuckled a bit.

“What?” He said, still chuckling. “Your coworker is Jungkook then?”

“You know him?” Hoseok asked, his laughter dying down.

“No, but Soobin, Jiminie son,  is apparently best friends with his kid, Yeonjun.”

“This is too funny.” Hoseok said, laughing again. “I never thought our life would still be this intertwined. Yeonjun is my godson, technically. You now my mate? Yoongi?” Namjoon nodded and placed the key in the lock, letting it rest there. “He knew Jungkook through a photography class they took together and he followed Yoongi around like a puppy after the class. It annoyed me a bit since he’s an omega and all that, but their practically brother now and coinsadtaly works with me after his school ends, teaching the elderly samba.”

“That’s nice.” Namjoon said, opening the door to his apartment. “Tae, Remember my old roommate freshman year?”

“Yeah.” Tae said. “Hoseok-ssi right? Oh hey! Wow! Small world?” Taehyung said as shook Hoseok's hand and bowed.

“Yeah, he’s jungkook's coworker as well and technically Yeonjun godfather as well.” Namjoon said, placing the kkwabaegi on the table.

“Okay, definitely small world. Nice to see you again Hoseok-ssi.” Taehyung said, walking to the kitchen to grab another dish. “I don’t know if hyung warned you but please don’t make loud noises, world war three could start if Soobin wakes up.”

“I’ve been informed.” Hoseok said, standing awkwardly in the living room area. “It's so weird to stand here, like it looks the same but also so different.”

“Oh yeah.” Namjoon said, running his hands awkwardly through his hair. “This must be weird for you.”

“Very.” Hoseok said turning around in the living room. Namjoon focused on talking the kkwabaegi out of the bag and placing it on the dish that Taehyung had put in the middle of the table. “Where did you find this toy?” Hoseok asked, holding the panda toy that Namjoon had found.

“In the back of the dresser in the foyer.”

“Wow, Is it okay if I take it? It's one of Yeonjuns favorites and he threw a fit when he lost it like three months ago.” Hoseok asked.

“Sure.” Namjoon said. “I thought it might have been Soobins, since he is the only kid i know but if it's yeonjun take it please. It will make him happier than me.”

“Great!” Hoseok said talking the toy and placing it in his bag. “He will be so happy to see this again. Jungkook too.”

“Have a seat Hoseok-ssi.” Taehyun said as he came back from the kitchen to the living room. “Hyung, Jimin was asking if you wanted to go out to eat tomorrow for a late lunch, he has a gap in his schedule.”

“Sounds nice.” Namjoon said, pulling a kkwabaegi and eating it. “It’s my last free day before I start anyways.” 

“I’ll let him know.” Taehyung said. “So Hoseok-ssi, hows mated life?”

“Great!” Hoseok said and leaned on the table pulling out his sandwich and placing it on his dish. “Yoongi hyung is the sweetest mate. You and Jimin going to tie the knot anytime?”

“Some time.” Taehyung said. “We really just can't afford to go of our suppressants right now. Maybe when Namjoon is more experienced in childcare we can go of them and leave Soobin with Namjoon.”

“Sounds nice.” Hoseok said. “So, Namjoon-ah, you meet any nice people over in the states?”

“Not really. I mean I had this thing with an omega, Jackson for a short while, then he moved back to China and that was that.”

“I had forgotten about him.” Taehyung said around a mouthful. “How is he hyung?”

“I have no idea.” Namjoon answered truthfully. “Haven’t talked to him in over a year.”

"So you’re single now?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah.”

“You should definitely join me in trying to get Jungkook out.” Hoseok said. “Yoongi is free to babysit next weekend and I’m trying to get Jungkook to agree to go out. He will definitely like it better if he has someone with him who is looking to hook up as well.”

“Sure. As long as I don’t have to drag your ass home at three am.”

“I promise I’m not as much of a lightweight as before.” Hoseok said and rolled his eyes. “I’ll let hyung know and he’ll convince Jungkook.” Namjoon just nodded. “So Taehyung-ssi-”

“Please call me Tae.”

“So Tae-ssi. I heard you own a blog?”


“Hey sorry hyung.” Jimin's voice came through the phone. “ Quick change of plans, Jungkook is coming to join us for lunch. Soobin has been complaining about not having seen yeonjun and vice versa.”

“That's fine.” Namjoon said, resting his phone on his shoulder as he looked for his wallet.

“We’re also just going to eat in our apartment, Jungkook is coming in thirty minutes, so just come when you are ready Taehyung is going to order chicken.”

“Bread!” Namjoon heard Soobin shout

“Yes baby and bread.” Jimin chuckled. “ Come whenever you want hyung.”

“I’ll be over in five.” Namjoon said. “Bye.”

Bye.” Namjoon hung up the phone and placed it in his back pocket and resumed his search of the wallet. He was giving up in his search, having overturned the couch cushions twice when he got a message on his phone.

Jiminie

You left your wallet here yesterday. I just found Soobin trying to use

your credit cards as a slide for his cars.

 

Me

Thanks. OMW.

 “I’ve just spent twenty minutes trying to look for this.” Namjoon said once Jimin handed him his wallet after he arrived downstairs. “Let me run upstairs and I’ll be back in two.”

“Sure.” Jimin said, picking up Tanie and placing him in the enclosed space in the foyer. Namjoon hurried upstairs, placing his wallet on top of the dresser in the foyer. Before taking the stairs two at a time downstairs.

“UNCLE!” Soobin yelled throwing himself a Namjoon's legs lifting his hands up to be held. Namjoon had become better after the mess that was the first time he picked him up. “Uncle make car.”

“Of Course Soobinie.” Namjoon said, hugging the two yearold who squealed.

“Uncle, make car for hyungnim.” Soobin said. “Yeonjun hyung is coming.”

“Is Yeonjun coming?” Namjoon said, bouncing Soobin on his hip. “Then we have to make a big car.”

“A really- really big car!” Soobin said wiggling to be let down. “Down uncle.” Namjoon placed soobin down on the ground and let the two year old pull him better into the living room.

“Hey mister.” Taehyung said, pulling Soobin in as he walked past him. “We have to eat at the table now.” Soobin wiggled in Taehyung's hold, trying with all his might to get away from his father.

“But Paaapaaaaa.” Soobin whined. “I wanna plaaaay.”

“Soobinie.” Taehyung warned.

“Paaaappa!!!” Soobin whined. “Let goooo.”

“Soobin. Papa said no.”

“PAPA!” Soobin yelled, pushing at Taehyung and jumping up and down, his face falling into anger. “But Hyungnim- hyungnim PAPA!”

“Soobin.” Taehyung hissed. “You dont hit people. That hurts. Papa said no. That means no.” Namjoon stood to the side awkwardly, backing away into the kitchen as Soobin started crying.

“I’m so tired.” Jimin said leaning by the fridge his eyes closed. “Soobin doesn’t want to take naps anymore, and now he is cranky and tired.”

“Oh.” Namjoon said, not knowing how to respond to that.

“Don’t have kids.” Jimin said. “I love him, but dear god!” jimin dragged his hand over his face. “Today I want to strangle him so he falls asleep. I would never, but I really would like too.”

“I’m not going to be on the baby train anytime soon.” Namjoon said and patted Jimin's back.

“PARK SOOBIN.” Taehyung yelled. “We do not throw things at people! Do you want me to call Yeonjuns appa and tell them they can't come?”

“NO!” Soobin yelled and started crying.

“Can you order some fried chicken?” Jimin sighed, pushing himself from the fridge. “The number is on the fridge, ask for special 5 for 4 and two kids. I’m going to go and help Taehyung. He’s been stuck here all day and he also needs a nap.” Namjoon just nodded and saw Jimin walking into the living room where Soobin was lying on the floor crying. Namjoon watched as Jimin first went and kissed taehyung on the forehead before scooping up the crying two year old who put up a hell of a fight before he wrapped his arms around Jimin and let himself be rocked.

After calling the place and placing the order Namjoon looked into the living room again to see Soobin inTtaehyung's arms, scenting him whilst Jimin was rubbing up and down Soobins back and running his hands through Taehyung's hair. Taehyung looked like he was three second away from falling asleep, his eyes closed and head loling back and forth. Namjoon couldn’t see Soobin, but he guessed the two year old might be falling asleep as well. He kept himself in the kitchen, letting the family sleep in the living room and busied himself with answering messages from his old collages back in Seattle. He only looked up from his phone when the doorbell range letting out a shrill cry.

“I’ll get it.” Namjoon said, walking past the family who was waking up from the short nap

“Thanks.” Taehyung grumbled, shaking Jimin awake with is hand that was not holding Soobin but. Namjoon walked to the door, opening it. Coming face to face with a man who he presumed was Jungkook. Namjoon could have sworn he had seen him somewhere before.

“Oh shit.” Jungkook said. “Oh fuck me.”

“Appa that's a bad word.” A small voice said from beside Jungkook. “Say sorry.”

“Sorry.” Jungkook said. “Hi.”

“Hi?” Namjoon said, looking at the boy in front of him and then realizing why he looked so familiar. “Ohhh shi-”

“Right okay.” Jungkook interrupted before Namjoon could finish. “Never thought I'd see you again.”

“Ditto.” Namjoon said and was going to say something else, but was interrupted by Yeonjun.

“Appa can I go play?” He asked quietly, holding onto his dads pants

“Yes baby.” Jungkook said and looked at Namjoon, whos stood blocking the door.

“Right.” Namjoon said, shaking his head and stepping aside. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“You look nice hyung.” Jungkook said as he walked into the apartment, just barely stopping Yeonjun from running into the apartment with his shoes on. Jungkook hands shook as he tried to take the shoes from his sons feet.

“Here, let me help. I have some practice.” Namjoon said, dropping to the floor and unstrapping the shoes quickly. “No need to be so stressed out Kookie, i'm not going to quiz you.”

“Ha ha.” Jungkook said nervously. “Sorry, I’m usually a much better dad.”

“You smell nice.” Yeonjun said, sticking his face into Namjoon's neck, causing him to jump back from the sudden intrusion.

“I’m so sorry!” Jungkook said, pulling Yeonjun back. “Yeonjun we don’t scent people out of nowhere! I’m so sorry. He did this to Jimin as well. My mom says it's because he doesn’t have an alpha, but I say its cause he really loves churros and gingerbread and anything that smells roughly like it he will scent.” Jungkook rambled and whilst he was rambling Yeonjun wriggled out from his hold and ran into the living room to Soobin with one of his shoes on.

“Hyung!” Soobin cheered sleepily and still in his father's arms. Jungkook jumped after his son before he climbed onto the couch with his shoe on.

“Yeonjun your shoe.” Jungkook scolded. “Hi hyungs.” He said to Jimin and taehyung who were sitting up, not looking very awake. “Sorry he’s very excited.”

“It's okay.” Taehyung said, lifting Soobin from his lap and placing him next to the now shoe free Yeonjun. “Boys go play in Soobins room.” he said and closed his eyes again. “Give me like three minutes and I’ll be a good host.”

“Soobin won't nap anymore even though he needs it?” Jungkook asked and both parents grunted yes. “I see. Have fun.” Jungkook said and made his way to the foyer where Namjoon still sat.

“You’re a good dad.” Namjoon said as he pulled himself up and dusted his pants and at jungkook's confused face he clarified. “You said you weren’t a good dad when you were trying to take off his shoes, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re a good dad, most people wouldn’t be able to half of this at your age. I know i would-”

“You do realize that he’s yours?” Jungkook blurted out. “Shit. Fuck.”

“What?” Namjoon said, frozen, the quick math adding up in his head. He had slept with Jungkook before leaving to the states.

“Shit, I wasn’t just going to blurt it out but fuck.” Jungkook said.

“You have quite a potty mouth for a father.” Namjoon said still processing.

“Is that all you took from that?” Jungkook said, running his hands through his hair hakly. “Please say something else, I’ve been freaking out since you opened the door.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Namjoon said honestly. “I’m very confused and lost. Are you sure?”

“I’ve sex once, you took my virginty and nine months later I had a kid.” Jungkook said. “Kind of hard to say he’s anyones elses.”

“Shit.” Namjoon said and placed his head in his hands, breathing in and out. “I need a moment. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook said. “For sure. Sorry for telling you like this again.” He kicked off his shoes and walked into the apartment , leaving Namjoon in the foyer, controlling his breathing and trying not to have a full on anxiety attack.

“Holy shit.” Namjoon said and sat down before his legs gave out from under him. “What in the actual fuck?”

Chapter Text

Namjoon was still on the floor of the foer when the chicken arrived. He stood up and dusted himself off, answered the intercom and called for Jimin to come and pay. Both Taehyung and Jimin came to the door. Namjoon had no idea if they knew or not. He felt as if everything was tilted just a degree to the left. Like he woke up and nothing had changed but everything just looked off. The couple stopped in front of Namjoon and he said something but he wasn’t sure what. The next instance, he was sitting at the table. He was sitting across from Yeonjun and Soobin. It was insane to think of that- no him- begin his kid.

“Namjoon hyung?” Namjoon whipped his head up. He saw that the three other men at the table where all looking at him.

“What?” He asked, tilting his head a bit, hoping that would right his axis.

“I was just saying I didn’t know that you had tutored Jungkook, hyung.” Jimin said and pointed his chopsticks at Namjoon and Jungkook. “It’s kind of funny. Now your living in his apartment and your old roommate is his best friends mate. It's like you’ve been three feet away from each other this entire time.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said, trying to sound light, but feeling like throwing up. He really had been three feet away from him all those years. “Funny.”

“Are you okay hyung?” Taehyung asked, tilting his head at Namjoon. “You seem a bit of.”

“I think I might just need a nap as well.” Namjoon said, chuckling and tilting his head more, his axis still of.

“No nap.” Soobin said, glaring at Namjoon with all the might a two year old can.

“No nap.” Taehyung sighed, and faked strangling the kid when he wasn’t looking. “No nap.” He said again, rolling his eyes at the adults by that table. Jungkook just chuckled and shook his head, looking at the box of chicken in his lap.

“I think that they will both take a N-A-P after lunch if we let the play for a bit.” Jungkook said, eyeing Namjoon. “I really would like to catch up with hyung.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said, his hands shaking a bit and he couldn’t really figure out why he was os fucking scared of Jungkook at that moment. “I think we need to.”

“You know.” Jimin began placing his chopsticks down and wiping the sauce of Soobins nose. “I had forgotten that you used to tutor hyung. Did hyung tutor you in math or English?”

“Both.” Namjoon and Jungkook said at the same time.

“I wasn’t a very good student.” Jungkook said. “I just wanted to dance. Namjoon was the TA for math for my first semester and the professor said I should maybe look into getting a tutor since I was missing so many classes for competitions. Then he set me up with Namjoon, who then saw me struggling with english and offered to help me in that as well.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said, laughing awkwardly. “That feels like ages ago though.”

“Almost four years.” Jungkook said and finally made eye contact with Namjoon.

“Sorry.” Namjoon said, feeling like actual piece of shit.

“Why are you apologizing to him hyung.” Taehyung asked through a mouth full of chicken. “You still haven’t apologized to me for leaving for almost four years hyung!”

It’ll just be six months.” Jimin said, trying and failing at imatading Namjoon's voice. “ I’ll be back before you know it. Six months my ass! Who doesn't even come home for three years?”

“I said I was sorry!” Namjoon said, rolling his eyes at his best friend antics. “My vacations were always too short to travel back, Americans aren't that fond of giving long vacations to interns! Plus you could have well traveled to meet me!”

“With a baby? On a plane?” Jimin asked. “I’d rather die, the trip to Japan was hell and that was under three hours.”

“Okay fine.” Namjoon said admitting defeat. He knew this was a battle he wouldn’t win. “I’m the bad guy here.”

“Uncle is a bad guy?” Soobin asked his fingers covered in sauce and half his face as well. “Is he stealer?”

“Thief baby.” Taehyung said. “No, Uncle is just joking.”

“Whats a thief baby?” Yeonjun asked. “Is that what this uncle is? He is not a baby.” Yeonjun pointed at Namjoon and Namjoon looked at his kid for the first time in the eye. He could see the resemblance, but truth be told. He had Namjoon's facial structure and lips. He definitely didn’t have Jungkook's lips.

“No.” Taehyung sighed. “People who steal are not called stealers, but thieves.”

“Why?” Yeonjun asked, now looking at his father for answers, not trusting the near stranger.

“The word man said so.” Jungkook said and reached to wipe the sauce around Yeojuns mouth.Yeonjun moved away from his father, almost knocking Soobin of the shared chair. He looked at the piece of tissue in disgust.

“No appa!” Yeonjun whined and picked up his own discarded tissue. “Go away, I’ma do myself.”

“Okay.” Jungkook sighed and let Yeonjun try and wipe the mess away.

“I’m a big boy!” Yeonjun said, dragging the tissue all over his face, spreading the sauce more. Jungkook just nodded, biting his lip. “Look all clean!” Yeonjun said, smiling from ear to ear, the sauce on his forehead.

“I'm big boy too!” Soobin said and pulled a napkin to ‘clean’ his thankfully already clean face. “I'm done!” Soobin jumped from the chair to the floor. Yeonjun tried to jump down as well but Jungkook stopped him and with one hand quickly and efficiently cleaned the rest of the sauce of the squirming and whining child. Yeonjun leapt from Jungkook the moment Jungkook let him go slightly.

“Go run!” Jimin yelled after the running children, who disappeared around the corner, Soobin just barely avoiding slamming into the open bathroom door. Without the chatter of the toddlers the table settled into an uneasy silence.

“I'm so used to Yeonjun asking why questions that silence scares me.” Jungkook said and chuckled, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “But how was the states hyung?” Jungkook asked. “I was always going to get your facebook or something to keep in touch but I kept forgetting.”

“It was good.” Namjoon said. “I got a job at google right after graduation.”

“Oh wow!” Jungkook exclaimed, leaning on the table. “That's huge? Right?”

“Sure.” Namjoon said, his hands itching. He really wanted to address the elephant in the room, but didn’t know how without letting Jimin and Taehyung know.

“You two are so awkward.” Jimin laughed. “This isn’t an interrogation, it's a few adults enjoying chicken on a friday, whilst their kids tier themselves out. You know, normal stuff.”

“Sorry.” Jungkook said, fiddling with his earrings. Namjoon remembered he always used to do that when he was stressed out. “I’m always like this around new people.”

“Really?” Taehyung asked, clearly in disbelief. “You weren’t shy with us.”

“I’m better if I have Yeonjun.” Jungkook said. “I usually just let him ask questions, ask any of my friends from university, they will say the same.”

“I can confirm.” Namjoon said, surprising himself. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye for three weeks and only spoke when I spoke to him.”

“I was shy.” Jungkook said, and busied himself with straightening the box of chicken in front of him. Namjoon remembered that habit as well. All of his study material had to be straight and perfect. “I still am.”

“You’re like a bunny you know?” Jimin said suddenly.

“What do you mean hyung?”

“Timid, cute and bouncy.” Jimin elaborated, causing Taehyung to laugh. Jungkook smiled at that, showing of his larger than normal front teeth which caused Jimin to laugh even harder. Jungkookk looked confused and startled, just like a bunny. Namjoon could most definitely see the resemblance.

“What? hyung?”

“Just-” Jimin laughed and tried to compose himself. “Bunny-” Namjoon felt himself crack and started laughing as well, leaving Jungkook to look around like a deer- no- bunny in the headlights.

“Bunny.” Taehyung wheesed, clutching his stomach and trying his hardest to breathe properly.  “Bunny.”

“Bunny teeth!” Jimin choked out, wiping away the tears and just managing to catch himself before he fell off the chair. Jungkook looked even more lost, causing Jimin to actually tumble from his chair.

“Hyung? Are you okay.” Jungkook sounded genuinely concerned and Namjoon felt bit bad for him. He wasn’t as used to Jimin's antics and didn’t know that he couldn’t see when laughing. Him falling of chairs or anything whilst laughing is a relatively normal thing for him.

Jimin waved Jungkook of and pulled himself up, wiping his eyes and trying to calm down. Namjoon wiped his eyes as well and stopped laughing, making eye contact with Jungkook once more. His stomach dropped and he felt heavy again, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to never see Jungkook again and move to the antarctic or never let him go and parent Yeonjun with him. He felt the world tilt again, when had even righted itself? Everything was a bit to the left and he just couldn’t seem to make it click again.

“Hyung?”

“What?” Namjoon blinked three times, but it didn’t help.

“I asked if you wanted to stay for dinner as well.” Jimin repeated, rolling his eyes as if to say this hyung.

“I can't.” Namjoon said. “I promised my mom I would eat with her tonight.”

“Right. Sorry.” Jimin said, facepalming. “I forgot you were going to visit them this weekend.”

“Yeah. They wanted me to come before I started working on monday.”

“Don’t worry.” Jimin said, sitting down at the table again. “I understand, My moms always want me to come home every other weekend.”

“They just want to play with Soobin though.” Taehyung said and began clearing the table. Jungkook jumped up quickly, helping Taehyung stack the boxes and dishes. The three youngest fell into easy conversation about grandparents, leaving Namjoon alone at the table. He stood up and took his glass with him and went to the couch. He needs a few minutes to himself, so he pulled up his instagram feed and scrolled mindlessly through it, getting a good glimpse into the life of his old school friends and coworkers.

“Uncle?” Soobin asked, having somehow appeared in front of Namjoon when he was scrolling and startling the elder a bit. “Help.”

“What is it?” Namjoon asked, pocketing his phone as Soobinn pulled on his hand to get him to come.

“Help.”

“Okay, Soobinie, with what?” Namjoon asked as he was manhandled by a two year old into Jimin and Taehyung's room. A room Namjoon knew was off limits to the kids for playing. When Namjoon came into the room he saw what Soobin needed help with. Yeonjun stood on top of the dresser, crying silently, tear tracks streaming down his cheeks.

“Hyungnim’s stuck.” Soobin wailed, he looked close to crying himself. The dresser reached Namjoon's shoulders and he had no idea how the kid had even managed to get up there in the first place.

“How did this even happen.” Namjoon muttered to himself as he saw that Yeonjun had managed to get the top of his overall stuck on a nail in the wall, the picture he knew had hung there was lying on top of the dresser. Namjoon made quick work of pulling the overalls from the nail and pull Yeonjun down. He placed the boy next to his friend. “What were you two doing up there anyways?” Namjoon asked after he made sure that Yeonjun wasn’t injured. The boy escaped without any injuries and even managed to not rip his overalls.

“Playing space jumper!” Yeonjun sniffled and wiped his snotty nose on his sleeve. “And I getted stuck!”

“Soobinie.” Namjoon said turning to the younger boy. “What did your Appa and Papa say about playing in their bedroom.”

“It’s no no.” Soobin said and started crying. “Don’t tell Appa!” He cried, causing Yeonjun to cry as well. Namjoon stood in the bedroom with two crying toddlers, he did the one thing he knew how to do, scooping up one kid in each arm and talking the crying kids to their actual parents.

In the back of his mind a nagging voice said that he was the parent of one of these children, but he didn’t want to address that he may have technically father one of them, but his involvement with the making of this person had been around five minutes maximum. That did not make him a parent in anyway shape or form. He walked into the living room and every other adult came rushing to him, scooping their respective child and asking a million and one questions. The chaos just made the kids cry harder.

“They were playing Space jumper in your room.” Namjoon said, pointing to Jimin and sitting back down on the couch as the parents began to scold their kids. He looked at Jungkook who was trying to calm his crying kid down. Namjoon hadn’t know Jungkook long, just four months, but he did know that Jungkook was stressed. He was bouncing his foot and kept touching his ears. It was something Namjoon had picked up quickly when he tutored him. Namjoon took this time to really study Jungkook, something he hadn’t let himself do. He felt a bit bad for doing it whilst the kid- no he’s no longer a kid. Whilst the man was distracted by his crying kid. But he didn’t feel bad enough to stop.

He looked a lot older than last time Namjoon saw him. He had grown into his nose and put on quite a bit of muscle. He looked more grown up but still carried himself the same. Namjoon tried to see Yeonjun as well, wondering how alike he was to Jungkook. Namjoon let his mind wander for the first time since he came opened the door and saw Jungkook. What if he hadn’t taken the job? Would he have found Jungkook sooner? Would he be called Papa? How different would his life really be? Or would he have never found Jungkook?

“I think we should go.” Jungkook said as he bounced a now quiet Yeonjun on his shoulder.

“But didn’t you need a babysitter?” Jimin asked, smiling sweetly at Yeonjun, who just hid his face into his dads neck.

“I don’t want to impose, We’ve already made things difficult.”

“Please.” Jimin said. “You should know how kids are, they will always misbehave. You said his daycare was closed and your friends either have work or school. Taehyung works from home anyway and having the two of them play together will be good for the both of them.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asked, Jimin just smiled and looked at Yeonjun who was still hiding his face in his dads neck

“You want to stay here and play with Soobin longer?” Yeonjun just nodded, barely visible as he didn’t take his face from his dads scent gland. “It’s decided. Go to class Jungkookie. I’ll even give you a ride if you want me to.”

“Thanks hyung.” Jungkook said, and visibly deflated. He hugged Yeonjun a bit tighter and rocked him, scenting him as well. “I don’t have class until 4 today, I think I’ll stay with Yeonjun a bit longer today though. I know you have class at 3.”

“No problem.” Jimin said and ran his hands through Yeonjuns hair. “I have to go now though, or I will be late.” Jimin leaned and kissed Taehyung bye and the still sniffling Soobin, stopping to rub his nose with Soobin in a short scenting moment. “Bye babies!” Jimin said and hugged Namjoon as well, grabbing his bag by the door. “Enjoy your weekend home hyung.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be back at 8.” Jimin said and closed the door.

Namjoon looked at the two fathers, both stood rocking the kids and whispering sweet nothings into their ears. Namjoon felt terribly out of place. He stood up, meaning to take his leave, but Jungkook grabbed his arm and shook his head.

“Taehyung hyung.” Jungkook said. “Can I give you Yeonjun for a bit. I need to talk to Namjoon hyung.”

“Sure.” Taehyung said. “Lets go and lay in Papas and Appa bed and watch bubble guppies okay?” Taehyung began walking into his bedroom, Jungkook following. He returned a few moments later and stood silent in the middle of the living room.

“I really dont want to do this but we need to talk.” Namjoon said, when it was clear Jungkook wasn’t going to start.

“Yeah, we do.” Jungkook fiddled with his earing.

“Lets go to my apartment okay?” Namjoon said and grabbed his keys from the hook by the door. “I have a lot of questions and less chance of kids coming running.”

“Okay.” Jungkook said. “Should we tell hyung where we are going?” Namjoon just shook his head.

“He’ll know where we are.”

“Okay.” Jungkook said and joined Namjoon in the hallway. The two of them walked up the stairs to the apartment. When Namjoon opened the door Jungkook looked around in a trance.

“It’s a bit weird to see it like this?” Namjoon asked and sat down on the couch.

“Yeah.” Jungkook answered and stood in the center of the living room looking as lost as ever. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Namjoon asked and motioned for him to take a seat on the couch.

“For not telling you about him sooner.”

“I left the country and left you no way to contact me. I’m the one who should say sorry.” Namjoon put his feet on the couch as well, becoming a ball. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”

“It was hard.” Jungkook said as he took a seat next to Namjoon. “But he was really cute and worth it.”

“I can see that.” Namjoon said. “He looks a lot like you.”

“He acts like it as well. Mom said its ‘cause he grew up without an alpha.” Jungkook took out his phone and began scrolling on it.

“Your mom doesn’t sound really nice.”

“She just wanted what was best for me. That didn’t include begin pregnant at nineteen.” Jungkook said and turned the phone towards Namjoon. “Here is an album of his life. I made this for you if I could ever contact you.”

Namjoon took the phone and scrolled through the pictures. He felt strange. This was his kid but he felt no parental instincts towards him. He felt more parental instincts towards Soobin than Yeonjun and that saddened him. This was his kid and he felt nothing.

“I lied.”

“What?” Namjoon snapped out of his thoughts .

“I found you on kakaotalk.” Namjoon looked at Jungkook who was fiddling with his earing again before he spoke again. “I found you a year ago.”

“Oh.”  

“I didn’t know how to say it.” Jungkook said and pulled his knees to his chest. “There is no guide book on how to tell your old tutor that also took your virginity that he’s a dad. Or at least Naver didn’t give me any information. I just- yeah. Didn’t.”

“I dont think I would have believed you.” Namjoon said after a while, opting to be honest. “We used condoms and everything.”

“I didn’t believe it at first.” Jungkook replied, looking down at his phone, which was showing a picture of a younger Yeonjun and Jungkook sitting on a swing, both smiling from ear to ear showing of their bunny teeth. “He came as a complete surprise, I had no morning sickness, just was very tired. Hyung told me to go to a doctor. I did and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me the day I went. Got a call two days later that my lab work came back and was told they needed to do an ultrasound to confirm something.” Jungkook looked up from the phone, a far away look in his eyes. “I really thought it was a hidden camera.”

Namjoon kept his gaze locked on Jungkook for a while. He seemed lost in his thoughts and his eyes seemed to glisten more. Then Jungkook blinked quickly, shaking his head.

“I tried to get rid of him, you know.”

Namjoon didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t think that there was an adequate response to that.

“It didn’t work, I ended up in the hospital with a broken arm from throwing myself down the stairs. Apparently I put my hand out to stop the fall and hit my head on the banisters, I don’t really remember I try to block that out of my mind. I know if i could have gotten an abortion legaly would have.” Jungkook had tears running down his face. “And everyday I wonder if my life would be better without him you know?”

Namjoon didn’t know. He didn’t know because he never had to take care of a kid. He’d never been pregnant.

“Would I be happier? I was so happy dancing, my life revolved around it. Now it revolves around another human and I’m happy. I really am.” Jungkook sobbed a bit and then collected himself for a moment. “But would I be happier?”

“I don’t know.” Namjoon wishpred, not daring to speak any louder, feeling like he might shatter something precious if he did so. Jungkook just sobbed next to him. Namjoon wanted to comfort him but he didn’t know how.

“Have you ever told someone about this?” Namjoon asked and placed a hand on Jungkook's knee, hoping that would offer some comfort.

“No.”

Namjoon just sat next to him as Jungkook tried to calm himself. Namjoon kept rubbing Jungkook's knee, hoping it was comforting him and not making him feel worse.

“I’m sorry for unloading this onto you.” Jungkook said after he calmed down. “You’re practically a stranger.”

“I think that's why you said it.” Namjoon said and stroked jungkook's knee. “I’m a stranger. A stranger that knocked you up but a stranger. Talking to strangers that don’t know you well can often help more than friends.”

“I’m still sorry.” Jungkook said and stood up. “Can I go to the bathroom?”

“Sure, it's-”

“On the left, yeah I know.” Jungkook said and smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

Namjoon just grimaced, feeling a bit useless. He looked back to the phone in his lap, scrolling through the pictures again. He didn’t feel any fatherly affection for the kid right now but he wanted to try. He wanted to love the kid. He wanted to be a good dad. He stopped at a video of Yeonjun. The still showed him waving his hands. He couldn’t have been older than a year old if namjoon compared him to Soobin.

“Say appa!” Jungkook's voice came through the speaker.

“Appa! Appa appa aaaaa!” Yeonjun schreeced, the toddler waving his hands like a maniac.

“He has lungs on him.” Namjoon felt a bit shocked hearing Hoeseoks voice come through the speaker.

“Shhh hyung, He’s never done this before. I want to document this.”

“Are you crying?”

The video cut, leaving Namjoon again with the still of Yeonjun, hands in the air and teeth on display. He replayed the video. Each time feeling more and more emotional. The next video was of someone holding onto Yeonjuns hands as he todeled around, his chubby legs sometimes failing him, leaving him hanging to the hands of the person holding him. Namjoon laughed along with Jungkook, who was taking the video. He kept sliding to the next video, his heart feeling heavier with each swipe. He missed so many milestones. So many firsts. He felt his eyes fill up and he shook his head, he wasn’t going to cry, he had no right to cry, he didn’t even love this kid, he didn’t even know him.

But you could have.

The cruel sentence whispered over and over. You could have. This could have been you. You could have been papa or appa. Namjoon let the tears fall freely. He didn’t even notice jungkook walking back in. It wasn’t until Jungkook wiped the tears of the phone that Namjoon noticed him.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked as he looked Namjoon in the eyes for the first time since they came up to the apartment.

“No, are you?”

“No.”

“We’re a mess.” Namjoon said, trying to laugh it off but the lump in his throat wouldn’t let him. He let out a half sob half chuckle. Sounding more like a dying animal than anything else.

“We’re parents.” Jungkook said and handed Namjoon the toilet paper roll he had brought with him from the bathroom. “That comes with the job description.” Namjoon felt himself tear up once more.

“You really think of me as a parent? Even if I’ve missed so much and haven’t been here at all?”

“Of Course hyung.” Jungkook said. “I’ve always thought of you as his alpha.”

“But I dont even love him.” Namjoon said, turing his eyes once again to the phone he couldn't bear to look at the younger after that confesion, a picture of Yeonjun with the same man who had helped him walk, the two of them smiling brightly at the camera.

“I didn’t at first either.” Jungkook confessed. “And whether or not you love him shouldn’t matter. As long as you want to try. Trust me when you try he will be wrapped around your pinky finger.” Jungkook looked down at his hands. “You do want to try right?” Jungkook said after Namjoon hadn’t replied fast enough.

“I do.”  Namjoon said and used a piece of toilet paper to wipe his eyes and nose. “I really want to.”

“That's good.” Jungkook said and a silence settled over the two of them, it wasn’t uncomfortable but it wasn;t the best either “I don’t really know how to explain it to him, though.” Jungkook said, breaking the silence.

“Explain what?”

“That you’re his Alpha.” Jungkook said. Namjoon looked at him once more. “I have no idea how to even brooch the subject.”

“Has he ever asked?” Namjoon asked. “Why he only has an omega?”

“Never.”

“Well shit.” Namjoon said. “I have no idea then. Naver?”

“Naver.” Jungkook agreed and Namjoon took his laptop from its place on the table in front of them and opened it up.

“What do I even write?” Namjoon said and chuckled a bit, hoping to lighten the mood. “How to tell your kid, that doesn't even know he is your kid that you’re his alpha?”

“Go for it.” Jungkook said and took his phone from Namjoon's lap, his hands gracing Namjoon's thigh and sending shivers up Namjoon's spine. Namjoon typed quickly into the search engine. Namjoon scrolled down, only finding answers for what to do when your kids ask, not what to do if you want to initiate the conversation.

“Well Navers not helping.” Namjoon said, frowning.

“Shouldn’t you also be using google mister google?” Jungkook teased.

“Shh.” Namjoon said and opened another tab, this time typing the same question into google. The results where the same.

“Try it in english.” Jungkook said after they reached page 2 and no answers were found.

“I’m starting to think we will have to wing it.” Namjoon said, but wrote it in english as well. Might as well try.

“That’s parenting.”

“I’ve been told.” Namjoon said and sighed as the english one turned out the same answers. “This isn’t working.”

“I can see.” Jungkook said and pulled on his earrings again. “In my head this all went a lot smoother, you know.” Namjoon nodded and placed his computer back on the table. “None of this fumbling, you just walked in and on instinked alone Yeonjun knew you were his dad and we lived happily ever after. This was never in my mind, this fumbling and crying and what not.”

“Real life is a bit more difficult.”

“Maybe we should ask Hyung for help.” Jungkook said. “They have a kid and might have some ideas.”

“Shit.” Namjoon cursed and grabbed his phone. He realized about a million things at the same time, making him feel a bit woozy.

“What?”

“I realized I will have to tell my mom and she will murder me.” Namjoon said and scrambled to open his phone, hoping he has no messages from her. “I will be skinned alive. Shit Jimin will skin me alive, last night we shit talked the alpha that left you alone. Oh no.”

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“I’m having an out of body experience, I just shit talked myself with my best friend whilst not knowing that I was shit talking myself.” Namjoon rubbed his hands on his head. “This is the biggest mess I’ve ever been in.”

“Yeonjun once shit so much it was in his hair.” Jungkook blurted out.

“Tmi? What? How? Why would you tell me this.” Namjoon exclaimed his panic stopped by sheer curiosity and mild disgust. He was glad diaper days were over. Wait were diaper days over? He had no idea. Now he was panicking again.

“You were panicking? And I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.” Jungkook said, his leg bouncing up and down.

“But how did he do it?”

“I still dont know.” Namjoon was both fascinated and disgusted with that answer. “He was three months, my omega said it was normal.”

“Does he still wear diapers?” Namjoon asked, not wanting to deal with diapers.

“Only pull ups when he sleeps, just in case.” Jungkook said. “He barely wets them.”

“Good. Shit fuck me, I need a crash course in Yeonjun. Fuck and I need to stop swearing.”

“Might be smart.” Jungkook said and stood up from the couch. “Let’s go.”

“What do you mean lets go?” Namjoon asked confused, staring after the younger.

“Talk to Taehyung.” Jungkook said and made his way to the door. “I have to leave in twenty minutes to go to school.”

“We’re telling him right now?” Namjoon said, but stood of the couch and made his way to the door anyways.

“You want to put this off?”

“Maybe, No? but-” Namjoon dropped of. “I’m kind of scared of telling him.”

“Why.” Jungkook said as he stepped into the hallway.

“I dont really know.” Namjoon said, he really couldn’t pinpoint why he felt so terrified with going to tell his friend. He knew he wouldn’t get judged, taehyung wasn’t one to judge, but why did each step feel like a step closer to his doom?

“He won't kill you.” Jungkook said and grasped Namjoon's hand, giving it a good squeeze. “You are just telling him that you have a kid, that you’re a dad.” Namjoon froze, making Jungkook stop as well.

“I’m a dad.”

“You are.” Jungkook said, sounding very confused. “Wait is this just sinking in now?” Namjoon couldn’t do anything except nod. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon wheezed out as he tried to not hyperventilate. “I’m really not cementing myself to be a reliable parental figure today.”

“Your doing a lot better than I did.” Jungkook said and rubbed up and down Namjoon's back. “I cried a lot and screamed.”

“You’re really brave you know that.” Namjoon said when he had calmed down enough to not feel as if he was going to pass out. “I don’t think I would have been able to raise a kid on my own.”

“I wasn’t really alone.” Jungkook said and pulled Namjoon along gently. “I had my brother and my hyung. My mom isn’t the most supportive at times, but she loves him as well and always wants him to come to busan so she can spoil him. I was never really alone.”

“You’re still brave.” Namjoon said thinking about what he was doing at nineteen and cringing. “I never could have matured enough to raise a kid at nineteen.” Jungkook was silent after that. When they reached the door, Jungkook hesitated.

“Maybe we should wait.” Jungkook said suddenly. Namjoon breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what I should say to him and I just got really scared right now.

“Me neither.” Namjoon said and pulled the two of the from the door so that the inhabitants couldn’t hear them.

“We will just have to wing it. This coparenting thing.”

“Someone told me that's how parenting is.” Namjoon said and looked at Jungkook once again. He looked so different from the boy he used to tutor. So much more mature.

“He wasn’t lying.” Jungkook said. “We should schedule a playdate, start small and build a bond between you two. I think that's a good way to go. But I don’t know.”

“Do we tell him?” Namjoon asked.

“Not yet. I think it might confuse him more.” Jungkook fiddled with his earrings once more. “You will just be uncle for now, if that's okay with you.” Namjoon felt really bad for the relief he felt.he nodded quickly.  He really wasn’t ready for a three year old to suddenly call him appa or papa. “We’ll go from there.”

“I like that.” Namjoon said and pulled out his phone from his pocket. “Give me your Kakaotalk and we’ll set up a playdate.”

Jungkook patted his pockets and looked at Namjoon sheepishly. “I think I left my phone in your apartment.”

Namjoon just shook his head and laughed. “We were maybe going a bit too fast.”

“Maybe.” Jungkook said and smiled, his bunny teeth on display. Namjoon got the strange urge to kiss him. He barely stopped himself from leaning in. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to kiss him. It wasn’t right, they had a one night stand cause Jungkook didn’t want to be a virgin any more. Namjoon shouldn’t even think about kissing him.

“Lets go and get your phone.” Namjoon said and turned around, meaning to head back upstairs but then realising that he didn’t have his keys. “On second thought. Lets go get my keys from Taehyung's apartment and then go and get your phone.” Jungkook laughed loud and clearly, his voice ringing through the hall, sounding like music to Namjoon's ears.

Yeah, Namjoon could do this. He could do this parenting thing, just as long as Jungkook did it with him. He really didn’t understand why the thought of raising up Yeonjun didn’t seem as scary if he imagined Jungkook by his side.

Chapter Text

“Joon-ah.” Hoseok's voice came through the speaker on Namjoon's phone. “Are you on your way or what?”

“The cab is stuck in traffic.” Namjoon said, Jimin and Taehyung chatting next to him in the cab. “Don’t wait for us to start drinking.”

“I want a tequila shot.” Jimin said leaning over. “Tell them to order me a tequila shot.”

“Jimin wants a-”

“I heard. I’ll get him two. Anything else?”

“Hobi-ah is asking for drinks from us.” Namjoon repetied, throwing the question mostly at Taehyung. 

“The sweets cocktail the have.” Taehyung said. “And tell them to add more sugar.”

“A cocktail that could give you diabetes and then ask for more sugar for Tae and any type of beer for me.” Namjoon said into the phone.

“Okay, we have a booth near the middle of the bar by a neon sign of a cocktail. See you!” Hoseok said, pitching up the see you to sound like a baby. Namjoon heard the dial tone and he placed his phone back into his pants.

“I’m so happy Yoongi sii offered to babysit.” Jimin said and Taehyung just nodded. “We haven’t gone out in ages.”

“I still think we should have gone to dinner we haven't done that in forever.” Taehyung pouted. “I’m too tired to go clubbing.” Jimin just gave him a look and wiggled his eyebrows causing the younger to blush.

“It’s been longer since we’ve done,” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows. “You know.” Taehyung just kept blushing and Namjoon gagged, not wanting to listen to his friends any more. He hoped to high heavens that neither would get turned on. He had once been stuck with the two of them going home from a night out in a cab and that was something he never wanted to do again.

“Please stop.” Namjoon whined. “I don’t need to know this, nor do I want to.” Jimin just wiggled his eyebrows more, but fell into Namjoon's lap when Namjoon continue faked gagging, laughing his ass off. Namjon and Taehyung quickly joined, Jimin's laugh making the two of the laugh as well.

“I missed this.” Taehyung said when the three of them had calmed down, Namjoon felt a bit bad for the taxi driver. “Just the three of us, no kids and no jobs. Just deadlines for papers and carefree attitude.”

“I love Soobin.” Jimin said. “Don’t get me wrong, but having kids stops you from doing a lot. I don’t think I realized how much I would have to sacrifice for his sake.”

“You never know what you have until it's gone really.” Taehyung agreed. “I love kids, but I also really miss being spontaneous, not having to back a bag every time I leave the house.”

“You’re lucky.” Jimin said and Namjoon felt his heart seize up. It had been exactly a week since he found out he was a dad. He hadn’t had time to meet up with Jungkook and Yeonjun yet, his work had just started and he was busy. His head always felt like it would explode from all the translating he was doing everyday. Jungkook and him kept talking together, Jungkook telling him about how Yeonjun was and sending him more videos and pictures from when he was younger. He really wanted to tell his best friends, but at the same time, he was selfish and wanted to keep this to himself.

“I guess.” Namjoon replied and looked out the window. They weren’t wrong. He was lucky. He was a dad, technically. He hadn’t done the waking up in the middle of the night for  feedings. He hadn’t been there for the big milestones. He didn’t need to think of a babysitter for his kid yet. He was lucky, he just had the title, nothing more. 

“We’re here.” Taehyung said as the cab pulled closer to the curb and stopped. Namjoon gave his card and paid for the trip, like a proper hyung, though he felt the two younger had their life together more than him and were therefore older. But he was older, so he paid.

“Come on.” Jimin said and pulled Namjoon out of the cab the moment he had his card back, bouncing on his heels with excitement.

“I’m coming!” Namjoon chuckled and walked after the couple, who had their hands interlocked and where swinging them between them, a complete contradiction to how much grinding the two of them would do on the dance floor. Namjoon remembered often begin very embarrassed to be known as their friend. The amount of times the two of them had been kicked out of clubs for doing it in the bathroom was astounding. 

“That’s not something you should tell us.” Jimin said and winked. Namjoon just wiggled his eyebrows back. He really had missed the banter. The trio made their way into the bar. Namjoon scanning the crowd for Jungkook or Hoseok.

“There!” Taehyung said and pointed in some direction and dragged Jimin behind him, leaving Namjoon to scramble after them.

“Hyungs!” Jungkook said and was pulled from the booth by Jimin into a hug. “Nice to see you again. How was Yeonjun, he wasn’t crying was he? He’s never gone without me for a night.”

“I told you to stop thinking about him.” Hoseok said, walking to the booth with a tray of shots. “Joon-ah!” Namjoon found himself with an arm full of Hoseok after he had placed the tray down on the table. Namjoon hugged his former roommate, enjoying begin engulfed in the smell of apples. “You’ve met Jungkookie?”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said and smiled politely at Jungkook. “You can say that.”

“Namjoon hyung used to tutor me hyung.” Jungkook said and gave Namjoon a quick hug, before sliding down into the booth next to Taehyung.

“It is really a small world.” Hoseok said and laughed, motining for Namjoon to sit down. “We’re going to pregame here, since Yoongi knows the owner son and then we’re going to go clubbing. Want to go anywhere special?”

“I’ve wanted to go to cakeshop for like a year.” Jimin said and snuggled into Taehyung's side. “That or Venue. One of my classmates said they were good for dancing.”

“I’ve heard about them.” Jungkook said and took a beer from the tray in the middle of the table. Hoseok began distributing the alcohol on the tray to their rightful owners. “My friends said they both have very long lines after midnight.”

“Check and see if we want to wait in the lines?” Hoseok said as he handed Taehyung a very pink drink. Namjoon did not want to know how many colorants were in that drink.

“Sounds nice.” Namjoon said. “Where are the clubs anyway?”

“Itaewon.” Jimin and Jungkook said at the same time.

“Oh that's fine then.” Hoseok said and waved at the waiter who was walking with a disk of fries. “Itaewon has a lot of other clubs.” The waiter placed the fries on the table. 

“I know someone who can get us in to Octagon tonight if we want to.” Taehyung said and took a sip from his ludicrosity pink cocktail. He made a face and placed it straight down on the table.

“Really!” Hoseok exclaimed. “How even?”

“Through blogs and stuff.” Taehyung said and just shrugged. “Do you think I can ask them for more sugar in this?” He pointed to his drink.

“Sure, just say your with Hoseok.” Hoseok replied. “You’ve always had these connections. I remember going out with you once and we never waited in lines in the clubs by the school.”

“I’m just friendly.” Taehyung said and tried to stand up, but Jungkook was blocking his way. 

“I’ll get it hyung.” Jungkook said and grabbed Taehyung's drink. 

“You’re such a nice dongsaeng.” Taehyung said and ruffled Jungkook's hair, sinking into his boyfriends side, playing with his rings again.

“I still don't understand how you know someone from Octagon.” Hoseok said, clearly dumbfounded. Namjoon didn’t know much of the club scene in Seoul any more, but he had a sinking feeling he was going to be dragged to dance hell.

“He knows a lot of people Hope-ah.” Namjoon said and took a fry from the plate. “Thanks for the drinks by the way. I’ll get the next round.”

“Don’t worry.” Hoseok said and hit Namjoon with his shoulder. “Hyung is paying!”

“Yoongi-hyung?” Namjoon said. He knew the man from his underground rap days, days he and Yoongi desperately wanted to forget. It was how he accidentally introduced Hoseok to Yoongi. Smile Hoya, Runch Randa and Gloss were no more.

“No, Seokjin hyung.” Hoseok said as he munched on fries. “He’s Yoongi-hyungs friend. Kim Seokjin? He studied at Konkuk. Freakishly attractive.”

“Never heard of him.” Namjoon said.

“Oh. Well his dad owns the bar but Jin hyung helps with advertising and bartending stuff.”

“Oh nice.” Namjoon said and took a big swig of his beer. “I won't say no to free alcohol.”

“Me too.” Jimin said and took a shot from the tray. “Don’t mind if I do.”

“Allez-y.” Hoseok said and joined Jimin, chasing the shot with salt and lime. They both grimaced but bore down. 

“Shit that tastes like regret.” Jimin said as he shook his tongue. “I forgot how much Tequila just doesn’t taste good.”

“Same.” Hoseok said as Jungkook came back from the bar with Taehyung's drink. “How's life been?” Hoseok leaned on the table. “I heard some stuff from Taehyung-ssi but I wonder what the dance wonderkind Jimin-ssi has been doing.”

“Please call drop the formalities.” Jimin interrupted. “We’re getting drunk together, I'd really like to not take an ssi on the end of everything.”

“Okay great!” Hoseok exclaimed. “I hate formalities, but often people dont take well to me insisting on dropping them right away.”

“It’s fine.” Taehyung said, sipping his cocktail, still snuggled up to Jimin's side. Namjoon looked at Jungkook, he was looking at the couple, a faraway look in his eyes. Namjoon knew that look, he had seen it in himself often when he caught his reflection outside. The look of wanting. Of wanting a person to call home. Namjoon hadn’t had anyone to call home in a long time. He guessed Jungkook only had Yeonjun to call home.

“-begin back is nice Namjoon ah?” Hoseok said and Namjoon turned back to him and smiled. He hoped no one had seen him staring at Jungkook 

“So nice.” Namjoon replied and leaned back into the booth. “The food! Oh!” Namjoon ran his hands over his stomach and smiled brightly. “Amreican food is so greasy. But I will miss the coffee, seattle just had so many coffee places.” 

“And us? Aren't we nice?” Jimin asked, clearly disappointed he hadn’t been mentioned.

“You are great.” Namjoon said and glanced over at Jungkook. “I really like having you close by, but like I could still call you and chat when I lived in the states but I couldn’t call my food and eat it.”

“I guess.” Jimin said and rolled his eyes. Namjoon just rolled his eyes back.

“I love you.” Namjoon said cutely, hoping that would make up his wrong doings. “How many times will I have to say I'm sorry for ditching you?”

“Until you die.” The couple said in unison and then high fived. The looked pretty comical, what with Taehyung drinking his violently pink drink and Jimin with his shots and half a pint of beer. 

“Soju on the house.” A man said as he walked over to their booth. “Like everything tonight. You best bet Yoongi-ah owes me for this.”

“Thanks Hyung.” Hobi said and took the five bottles from the hands of the man as he placed a tray with a few glasses on the table. “Hyung will definitely give you a backrub tonight if you ask nicely.” The man shot Hoseok a look that Namjoon did not understand the meaning of, but made the younger blush. 

“Anyways.” The man said and dusted his hands on his apron. “I’m Seokjin. Please call me Jin hyung and I will be providing you all the alcohol tonight since his-” He pointed at Hoseok. “Mate promised I would get whatever I want after. Enjoy, get drunk and have fun without the kids.”

“Thank you Jin hyung.” Jimin and Taehyung said at the same time, making finger guns at each other afterwards. Namjoon often wonders how they are functional parents when they act like two year olds themselves.

“Yes thank you.” Namjoon said and did a half bow. 

“You going over to Hyungs after your shift?” Hobi asked and leaned over the table so he was almost in Namjoon's lap. “He has kids over so.” Hoesoke lifted his eyebrows suggestively. Namjoon was sure Hobi wasn’t that drunk to start flirting with people when he tries to make friends.

“I know and I’m not nasty.” Jin said and whacked Hobis hand. “I’m going over tomorrow.”

“Got it. Hyung knows?”

“Yoongi knows.”

“Okay!” Hoseok said and clapped his hands. “Thanks hyung go work the bar and we’ll get drunk since you are paying!” He shooed Jin away and then opened the first bottle of soju. “Tonigh drinkediqute be dammned, we’re all friends and kidless. Lets get shitfaced.”


 

“No.” Namjoon said, trying to make his giggles die down. “I dont even know what Lampoon is in Korean but like-.” Namjoon hiccuped. “But not a single one of my american coworkers had ever heard of it. I don't get how that even got on our final.”

“In my test I wrote that it meant lamp.” Hoseok said, his arm around Jimin. The two of them both becoming hugging drunks. Taehyung and Namjoon had quickly paired the two of them together, both tired of having literal leeches on their body.

“It sounds kind of like Joon and lamp.” Jimin chuckled. “You're a lampoon Hyung.”

“I’m a publicly criticized person?” Namjoon asked confused.

“No. You’re a Lampoon cause it's a lamp and joon mixed together” Jimin said,waving his fingers in Namjoon's direction .

“I’m a lamp?”

“Yes.” Jimin nodded. “You are the light of our life.” Taehyung nodded along as well. Namjoon could feel it since he was using Namjoon's lap as a pillow.

“Does this mean I'm forgiven for leaving you?” Namjoon asked.

“No.” Chorused the two soulmates. 

“But I’m the light of your life.” Namjoon whined.

“You’re still a buthead.” Jimin began. “Wait Soobin isn’t here, you’re a fuckhead.”

“I miss Soobin.” Taehyung said and turned his head into Namjoon's stomach, his feet are resting on Jungkook's thighs. 

“I miss Yeonjun.” Jungkook said as well. “I just want to cuddle him right now, why did I go drinking?” Jungkook sounded genuinely confused. Namjoon had the urge to hug him now, he didn’t know why. 

“I think this party needs to move or it will be a sob party.” Hoseok said and began pushing Jimin from him. “Take your stuff I’ll call a cab and say bye to hyung.”

Namjoon began peeling Taehyung of him and handing him of to Jimin. “Here. Take him. He’s your problem now.”

“I miss Soobinie.” Taehyung whined and Namjoon moved his hands towards Jimin.

“I know baby.” Jimin said as he took Taehyung from Namjoon and let him scent him. “I miss him too. But we’re going dancing and I’m going to grind on you and then we’ll go home and have nice sex.”

“TMI.” Namjoon said and stepped away from the couple. He had 0 interest in ever knowing the sex life of his friends.

“That sounds nice.” Namjoon heard Taehyung say as he hurried away from the couple. 

“Hyung wait up!” Called Jungkook as Namjoon walked past the bar. Hoseok was saying goodbye to the bartender, Jin? Jim? Something like that. Probably not Jim. Jim was an american name. Right? 

“Hyung?” Namjoon stopped by the door, finally allowing Jungkook to catch up. The smell of leather filled his nose when Jungkook lost his footing in the doorstep and fell onto Namjoon. The older stumbled and ended up outside. “‘m sorry.” Jungkook mumbled, his face pressed into Namjoon's chest before he pushed himself up. 

“‘is fine.”

“I want to talk to you.” Jungkook said and Namjoon just nodded, giving him an in. “I’ma blabbermouth drunk.”

“I remember.”

“You do?” Jungkook's eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. “I didn’t think you'd remember anything about me. I’m just shy Jungkook.”

Truth be told Namjoon hadn’t remembered Jungkook. He had completely forgotten about him. But Namjoon had also spent the past week trying to remember as much as possible. He stalked Jungkook on social media, went through the photo album he had sent thrice and spent countless nights awake trying to remember every little detail about Jungkook. He hadn’t remembered much but he did remember Jungkook begin a blabbermouth drunk.

“I remember quite a lot about you.” Namjoon said and smiled at the younger. “You’re a lot more than just shy, you’re pretty smart as well.”

“I’m not smart. I’m just scraping above failing in all of my classes.”

“You’re really smart.” Namjoon said and placed his hands on Jungkook shoulder, shaking him a bit. But mostly trying to steady him, he was feeling more and more drunk by the minute, standing up having made him very aware that he was drunker than he thought he was. “You raised a kid all by yourself-”

“I wasn't alone.”

“Shhhhh.” Namjoon said and placed a finger in front of Jungkook's mouth. Why was his mouth moving so much? “Shhh you are smart. Shhh. Repeat after me, I'm a smart boy.”

“Do I really need to say boy?”

Namjoon placed his fingers over Jungkook's mouth again. “Shhhh. Just say I’m a smart boy.”

“I’m a smart boy?” Jungkook said, looking very flustered. Namjoon really found that cute. He wanted to kiss his cheeks. His cheeks are so cute.

“Is this a kink i'm not aware of?” Hoseok said as he walked to them. “Should I leave?”

“No no.” Namjoon said and let his hands fall from Jungkook's shoulder. “Jungkook thinks he’s stupid, so I'm telling him he’s smart.”

“But why the boy part?” Hoseok asked. “Am I interrupting flirting? Wait I so am! Jungkook is so red!”

“It’s the alcohol!” Jungkook defended himself. “I’m not flirting.”

“I’m not flirting.” Namjoon said. “You’re also very red Hobi. Are you flirting as well?” 

“With who?” 

“Jim hyung!” Namjoon said proudly, that was his name. “You have a spark!”

“Jim? What?” Hoseok looked very confused. “Oh Jin hyung, Joonie, did you forget that I have a mate?”

Namjoon paused for a bit. He had forgotten. “I’m maybe drunk.”

“Maybe?” Hoseok said and laughed. “I think you are buddy!” Hoseok said and tried to slap him on the shoulder but hit Namjoon's neck instead. “I’m drunk too, hand what are you doing?” Hoseok looked at his hand like it was a traitor. His phone pinged with a message. “Oh the cars here! Where's Jiminie and Taetae?”

“I’ll get em.” Jungkook said and vanished into thin air.

“He’s really skittish.” Namjoon remarked. “He’s a bunny. I want to eat his cheeks.”

“You sure I wasn’t interrupting flirting?” 

“No.” Namjoon glared at Hoseok. “I want to eat his cheeks in a friendly way.”

“So like a cannibal?”

“No!”


 

“Wow you weren’t kidding when you said Jimin dances like he’s having sex.” Hoseoki said as he came back from the dancefloor to the booth Namjoon was sitting in. He looked very disheveled, like he had a three minute quickie in the bathroom. Namjoon was feeling more sober by the minute and already regretting having quiet drinking for the night.

“I told you to be careful.” Taehyung said. “Speaking of, where is he?”

“I left him somewhere on the dance floor, I would go quickly, I saw at least three people who wanted to cut me.” Hoseok said as he slid next to Namjoon. Taehyung slid from the booth and made his way to the dance floor, sliding past sweaty bodies gracefully. “You aren't going to dance?”

“I’m not drunk enough for dancing.” 

“Lets do shots then.”

“Suddenly I'm drunk enough for dancing!” Namjoon exclaimed and tried to stand up, Hoseok in his way. 

“Great!” Hoseok said and moved out of the way so Namjoon could shimme past him. “Jungkook is by the bar and looks very lonely. Go dance with him.”

“Are you trying to set us up?”

“I’m doing that exactly.” Hoseok said. “Look the kid did nothing except talk about you in the cab here. He’s clearly into you and I think you two would look good together.”

“I dont know.”

“Is it cause he has a kid?” Hoseok asked. “Cause I understand, but you really should give him a shot, Yeonjun is an angle.”

“It’s cause of Yeonjun.” Namjoon muttered.

“Look if you mutter I can't hear you!”

“Nothing. Ima go dance.” Namjoon said at a normal level for a club.

“Go get him tiger!” Hoseok yelled after him, drinking water. Namjoon just waved him of. He made his way over to the bar, scanning the crowd for jungkook. He saw him by the bar, leaning away from someone making advances on him.

“Hey!” Namjoon yelled over the very loud music by the bar.

“Oh hey babe!” Jungkook said and flattened himself over Namjoon's chest. “Play along please, he scares me.” he whispered into Namjoon's ear. Namjoon nodded and hugged Jungkook.

“Oh this is your boyfriend?” The man said his hands reach for his drink. 

“Yeah!” Jungkook yelled, a bit too close to Namjoon's ear, but Namjoon was enjoying the leather scent to much to complain. “He’s my baby daddy as well!”

“Baby daddy?” Namjoon smirked as he whispered into Jungkook's ear. “Kinky much.” he got a slap on the back for that comment but he really didn’t care.

“You’ve got a kid.” The man said and walked away. “Fucking slut, coming onto me with a kid.”

“Hey fuck of.” Namjoon said and pulled Jungkook tighter, feeling very protective. “He ain't a slut. You’re a slut for saying he’s a slut.”

“That makes no sense but whatever.” The man said and walked off. 

“It really made no sense hyung.” Jungkook said, still glued to Namjoon's chest. “Uh hyung?”

“Yes?” 

“You can let go now.” Namjoon let Jungkook go. He had forgotten he was hugging him. Jungkook looked flushed and was smiling shyly. 

“Want to dance with hyung?” Namjoon asked, breaking their staring contest.

“I thought you said you couldn’t dance.”

“When did I say that?” Namjoon asked and started pulling him towards the dancefloor

“Like four years ago.” Jungkook said and let himself be dragged, the music got a lot louder the closer to the speaker they got. Namjoon saw that Jungkook said something but couldn’t hear a thing. 

“What?” Namjoon called and pulled Jungkook closer to him.

“I said, what makes you want to dance.”

“Cause you haven't danced yet.” Namjoon said and  moved back, beginning moving his body to the beat. He wasn’t the best at staying on beat, but he tried at least . Jungkook laughed at him, smiling from ear to ear but began dancing with him as well. Namjoon could definitely see that Jungkook was a better dancer than him. He hit every beat, his body moving smoothly. In a fit of courage Namjoon pulled Jungkook closer by the hips and timed his moves to Jungkook's. All he could smell and feel was Jungkook. It was addicting. 

“You’re a good dancer.” Jungkook panted, his mouth was next to Namjoon's ear. “Why did you ever say that you weren’t one?”

“I'm just following your lead.” Namjoon said and wrapped his hand around Jungkook, pulling them crotch to crotch. Namjoon hadn’t even realized he was half hard until Jungkook's thigh brushed against his crotch. At the sametime Jungkook moaned, the moan sending shivers straight through Namjoon and to his dick. 

“Shit fuck shit.” Jungkook said and his knees buckled. “We need to slow down or I will come in my pants, I'm not kidding I haven't come in like five months.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon said and pulled away, feeling awkward. 

“Fuck I need air.”

“You want me to come with you?” Namjoon asked, he still had to keep his mouth next to Jungkook and his scent was enticing. He could feel the people around them looking at Jungkook like lions with prey. He didn’t want him to be alone. 

“I need to not be around an alpha right now.” Jungkook said in Namjoon's ear and began to leave. Namjoon grabbed his hand and pulled him back. 

“Please let me come with you though. I don’t want you to be alone. You smell really good right now.” Namjoon watched Jungkook ponder it and then nod. Namjoon followed Jungkook, staying close but letting him have space. They stood a few meters apart outside, both catching their breath. 

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” Jungkook whined. “Hyung, I'm going to throw up.” Namjoon could only watch as Junngkook threw up into the public trashcan next to them. “Ugh.” Jungkook groaned, snapping Namjoon out of his stupar. “Hyung I feel really really sick.” Namjoon rubbed Jungkook's back as he threw up again.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Jungkook just nodded and whined pitifully. “I’m going to go and get our stuff and take you home.” Jungkook nodded and gagged again. Namjoon made quick work of going inside and informing Hosoek of what had happened. He took his and Jungkook's jacket, got a water at the bar with some difficulty and walked outside. Jungkook sat on the curb with his head in his hands, his back rising and falling. 

“Here.” Namjoon handed Jungkook the water bottle and sat down next to him. “I’m going to call a cab to take you home. Wait are you crying?” Jungkook just shook his head, but Namjoon could see the tears falling from Jungkook's eyes.

“‘M not.” Jungkook said as he wiped his eyes fursly. 

“Jungkook please dont lie.” Namjoon said and handed Jungkook the water. Jungkook took the bottle and sipped from it. Namjoon could clearly see the tear tracks on his face. “Why are you crying?”

“I dont know.” Jungkook said and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. “Can I have my jacket. I always have a tissue in my pocket. You know, dad things.”

“Here.” Namjoon said and handed him his jacket. “You want me to leave?” Namjoon said as he made his way to stand up. Jungkook grabbed onto the sleeve of his shirt before he could. 

“Don’t leave hyung.” 

Namjoon just nodded. When they stepped into the car Namjoon kept his hand in Jungkook, squeezing it. They made it all the way to the front off Jungkook's building before Jungkook had to throw up again. 

“Hyung.” He whined and made grabby hands for Namjoon. “Hyung I feel really bad. Everything hurts.”

“Hey, hey.” Namjoon said, paying the taxi. He couldn’t just leave jungkook on the curb like this. “Come on, let’s get you inside and get some food.”

“No-.”

“No, no.” Namjoon said and pulled the omega close to him. The leather smell was now a lot less distinctive, he smelled of alcohol and vomit mostly. “You need a warm bath as well, okay?” Jungkook nodded feebly and wound his arms around Namjoon's neck. He stood there for a bit, just holding Namjoon and Namjoon stood a bit lost, not really knowing what to do.

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“I’m cold.”

“Lets go inside.” Namjoon said and pulled Jungkook along. The younger stumbled after him, tripping over his two feet and almost faceplating. Namjoon wasn’t steady on his feet either, the alcohol making his balance a bit off, but if he had been steady he would have picked Jungkook up by now. He looked pitiful, stumbling over his own two feet all the while staying hunched over and stopping often to take deep breaths. 

“You have to lead the way Jungkook.” Namjoon said as they arrived at the front of the apartment building. Jungkook grunted and punched in the code and pointed to the right.

“6.09.”

“Where is the elevator?” Namjoon asked, scanning the old building for any sign of a shaft.

“There isn’t one.”

“Oh.” 

“It’s all I can afford.” Jungkook said, his eyes filling up with water. “I can't afford anything better. I’m a useless parent.” Jungkook began sobbing again.

“Hey, hey.” Namjoon pulled Jungkook in close after wiping his tears away. He hugged the younger close. He felt utterly lost and a bit too drunk to deal with this. “You’re not useless. If anything, im the useless one, I don’t know how to change a diaper.”

“You’re not useless-”

“I just didn’t know.” Namjoon finished for him and began pulling back from the hug. This was the most physical contact he had had with anyone since Jackson came into his life. “You've told me this a million times.”

“I know.” Jungkook said and let himself be lead towards the staircase. They climbed the staircase slowly. Namjoon was starting to feel a bit sick as well, the smell of vomit coming from Jungkook was not helping. The two were panting when the reached the 6th floor. Jungkook pushed himself from the wall and Namjoon saw his whole body shiver. 

“Are you okay?” namjoon asked.

“No.” Jungkook said as he punched the code in. “I need to throw up again.” he said as he disappeared inside the apartment. Namjoon decided it was best to wait for a bit and try and get his bearings, otherwise there would be two people throwing up. His stomach was churning painfully and he slid down the wall into a fetal position. He lay there for some time before he felt he could move without throwing up. Jungkook had left the door open and Namjoon followed the sounds of whines to the bathroom, closing the door after him.

“You feeling any better.” Namjoon asked, Jungkook just whined in response. The smell of vomit was starting to seep through the small enclosed space. “Hold up.” Namjoon said, picking up Jungkook's head and wiping the spit of with the tissue Jungkook had in his pocket. He placed Jungkook's head by the side of the bathtub and flushed the toilet. The smell got a lot stronger in that instance and Namjoon threw up in the bowl right after Jungkook. He quickly flushed that down and rinsed his mouth in the sink. Then he lifted Jungkook's head and forced him to drink water.

“Cramps.” Jungkook whined as he held his stomach. Namjoon had just placed the water bottle down and sat down by Jungkook when he climbed into Namjoon's lap. “You smell really nice.”

“You kinda don't.” Namjoon said and Jungkook chuckled a bit. 

“I think I can smell myself.” Jungkook said, sticking his nose close to Namjoon's neck, not exactly scenting him but not exactly not scenting him. It felt nice. The two of them laid like that for a few minutes. “I feel better.” Jungkook said as he broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the two of them. 

“Want to take a bath?” Namjoon asked. He didn’t want to let the younger go, but he also knew that he needed to give Jungkook something to eat and drink. 

“Yes.” Jungkook said and pealed himself of of Namjoon. Namjoon quickly walked out of the bathroom as Jungkook began stripping. Namjoon took a look at the apartment for the first time since he arrived. The living room kitchen and dining area was crammed into one space. There was a corner full of toys, Namjoon took a wild guess as to that being where Yeonjun played with his toys. To the left of the bathroom there was a closed door, leading to the bedroom Namjoon presumed. The apartment was small. A lot smaller than the one Namjoon had, the old one that Jungkook used to own. 

Namjoon didn’t know what to do so he stood in the front area for a bit, before deciding to see what Jungkook owned that Namjoon could cook and not burn. He searched the kitchen and found some ramen. He hoped Jungkook wouldn’t be mad at him rummaging through his stuff, he was after all making food for Jungkook. 

Namjoon had begun boiling the water when he heard a thump from the bathroom.

“You okay?” Namjoon called after silence had followed the thump.

“Yes!” Jungkook answered. “I just slammed my hand against the wall.”

“Okay!” Namjoon called back and turned his eyes towards the pot. He didn’t want to add the ramen until he heard jungkook turn of the water. He felt his eyes droop as he looked at the water, the bubbles putting him into a trance. He was startled by a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry.” Jungkook said and pulled his hand back. “I thought you heard me.”

“No. I think I fell asleep standing up.”

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, peering into the pot, seeing only boiling water.

“Making ramen.” Namjoon said and began opening up the packing. “I know you might not want to eat something-”

“I’m starving.” Jungkook said and sat down at the table. “Sorry for cutting you of, I'm feeling a lot more sober after throwing up and really hungry.”

“It's okay.” Namjoon said and placed the ramen in the pot. 

“Make some for you as well hyung.”

“I am!” Namjoon exclaimed.

“I could eat all of that.”

“I’ll add one more.”

“Make it two.”


 

“I should head home.” Namjoon said, he had almost fallen asleep thrice whilst eating. 

“Just stay the night.” Jungkook said, putting the unwashed dishes and pots in the sink. “I dont want you to try and head home right now. You look like you could fall asleep any second.”

“I don't want to bother.” Namjoon began.

“You won't.” Jungkook said. “Plus we can maybe have a playdate tomorrow if you dont have anything to do? Let Yeonjun get to know you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hyung, I said I wanted you in his life.” Jungkook said. “Please stop questioning it. It makes me think you dont want to get to know us.”

“I do want to.” Namjoon said, looking down into his lap. “I’m just surprised you aren't mad. And that you want me in his life. I wasn’t there to help you with him when he was growing up.”

“That's because you didn’t know.” Jungkook said. “We had a one night stand because it was easy. I didn’t want to be a virgin any more and you were leaving. I probably wasn’t going to see you again. I knew that when I took the first test and I have known that for every milestone that has passed. I'm lucky I found you again, and that you want to be in his life. So stop doubting me and yourself, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now let's go to bed, I can give you a toothbrush.” Jungkook stood up and walked to the bathroom. The two of them got ready for bed side by side, Jungkook lending Namjoon a shirt and pants. The pants were a bit short and tight around the thighs, but Namjoon would much rather sleep in them than in the jeans he was in. When Namjoon walked into the bedroom after changing his pants he stopped, there was only one bed.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” Namjoon said but before he could leave he felt Jungkook grab his hand. 

“We’re both adults, we’re not going to have sex. Please just get into this bed before I make you.”

Namjoon just nodded and laid down. He felt Jungkook wrap his arms around Namjoon's waist. 

“I sleep better hugging someone.” Jungkook said, rubbing his nose into Namjoon's shoulder. “You don’t mind?” 

“I dont.” Namjoon said, his heart beating quickly. 

“Okay good!” Jungkook said. “Please move onto your side so I can spoon you.”

“Shouldn’t I be the big spoon?”

“I said I slept better hugging someone, not being hugged, now move onto your side you big ape and let me sleep.”

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.”


 

Namjoon woke up in the middle of the night to intense heat. He felt really confused and lost. The bed was softer than the one he owned. His blanket was heavier as well. He pushed his pants of, feeling that they were too tight around his legs. Once he managed to wriggle into a more comfortable position he fell asleep again.

Chapter Text

When Namjoon wakes up, it's to a pounding head and a dry mouth. Jungkook has him in an octopus hold and neither of them are wearing the clothes they fell asleep in. Namjoon can understand that, since it feels a few degrees too hot and Namjoon is sweating bullets. Jungkook is moving his hips and groaning in his sleep. Namjoon is very aware of the hardness on his ass and he hopes Jungkook won't flee when he realizes that. 

Namjoon tries to remove himself from Jungkook but fails. Jungkook stops rocking his hips at least, so Namjoon counts that as win. The whole room reakes of leather. Namjoon blames it on the hangover but it still takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize that Jungkook is in heat. 

“Jungkook wake up.” Namjoon says, trying to shake him with his shoulders. Jungkook doesn't really move. “Jungkook, please wake up!”

“Mhhh” Jungkook just says and smacks his lips together. He groans and Namjoon feels him loosen his grip. He sees this as his opportunity to flee and pushes himself from the bed quickly. He finds his jeans on the floor and pulls them up before he shakes Jungkook awake.

“Yeonjun wait a bit.” Jungkook groans and pushes Namjoon hands away and shuts his eyes tightly.

“I’m not Yeonjun.” Namjoon said and watched as Jungkook wakes up and realizes who he is talking to.

“Good morning hyung.” Jungkook said, smiling sweetly. 

“Good morning.” Namjoon said and looks around for his shirt. Jungkook smelled even more like the inside of a leather shop now that he was woken up. 

“My head hurts.” Jungkook said and pushed himself out of bed as well. Namjoon noticed that Jungkook had also discarded himself of his pants. His briefs did little to nothing to hide the tent in his underwear. He must either be relatively shameless or in to deep to not realize how big of an erection he was sporting. “I swear I fell asleep in pants.” Namjoon heard him mumble before he left.

Namjoon walked out of the bedroom when he still couldn’t find his shirt. He found it folded and lying over a chair. He was searching the apartment for his phone, intending on booking it the hell out of there before Jungkook did something stupid like hug him. Namjoon is to hungover to deal with the fact that he and Jungkook had danced so hard in the club last night that both of them got hard. He will never be able to deal with the fact that Jungkook almost came from the grinding alone. Namjoon placed both of these thoughts into a box never to open again in his mind.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook asked, looking way to soft in his huge sweater and bedhead. Namjoon wanted to eat his cheeks. The smell of sex hit his nose all at once and Namjoon now wanteded to eat something else. Shit he really needs to go or he will do something stupid. 

“I was just going to go.” 

“I thought we were going to spend the day with Yeonjun?” Jungkook said, sounding crestfallen.

“Jungkook. I dont think you should be with Yeonjun.” Namjoon said, pulling on his shoes, making sure not to even glance in the direction of Jungkook.

“What?” Jungkook voice was small. “What do you mean?”

“In your state you shouldn’t be with him.” Namjoon said, patting his pants once more, making sure he has his wallet. He really couldn’t afford to be cardless and id less for the next few days.

“Please dont take him from me.” Namjoon whipped his head up at the desperation in Jungkook's voice. Jungkook was pulling on his sweater, tears leaking down his face. “He’s my whole world. I can't give him much but I give him all I can. Please dont take him away from me.”

“What no- Jungkook I’m not talking him away.” Namjoon shoved his shoes of quickly, going to wipe Jungkook's tears away, but the younger backed away from him. “Jungkook, you’re in heat, Yeonjun can't be around you.”

“I- what?” Jungkook looked confused, wiping his face furoislly. “I’m not.”

“Jungkook. You smell like walking sex, did you not notice?”

“I’m not in heat. I'm on suppressants, have been forever, I can't go into heat Hyung.” Jungkook said, and wiped his eyes with his sweater paws. Namjoon ran a hand through his hair before he could stop himself. 

“The signs are all there.” Namjoon said, stroking Jungkook's hair, the younger relaxing in front of his eyes. “The heat spells, throwing up and your need for my scent.” Namjoon pulled Jungkook in, feeling the need to comfort him even though Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok had all said he was shit at this comfort thing.

The two of them stood like that for some time before Namjoon noticed Jungkook crying again.

“Are you okay?” The elder of the two asked, pulling Jungkook away and looking at his face.

“Besides feeling horny?” Jungkook jokes, but it fell flat. “I don’t know what to do with Yeonjun. I’ve never gone this long without him and I really miss him.”

“Can’t he stay with your hyung and Hoseok?” Namjoon asked, stopping his hair stroking.

“Probably.”

“I’ll take him if they cant.”

“You would?” Jungkook looked up at him hopefully.

“Of course.”

 


 

Namjoon is halfway through his apartment with a bag that could fit both Yeonjun and Soobin comfortably when he realizes that his apartment is as far from childproof as possible. There are old bottles of alcohol on the living room table from last night, with varying degrees of fullness. Namjoon just manages to pry the half full bottle of beer from Yeonjuns hands before he can take a sip. 

“I’m thirsty.” Yeontan said, glaring at Namjoon for talking the beer from his hands. The three year old stomped down on the floor, apparently not happy with the fact that Namjoon saved him from alcohol poisoning. 

“I’ll get you some water?” Namjoon asked, trying to appease the angry toddler.

“Choco.” Yeonjun demanded and walked straight into the kitchen, leaving Namjoon to scramble to gather the rest of the beer cans and place them into the sink, away from the prying hands of a thirsty three year old hell bent on getting his first sip early.

“Choco?” Namjoon asked as he looked at the three year old, who he felt was staring into his soul.

“Choco.” Yeonjun said and Namjoon swore the three year old rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure if three year olds could roll their eyes, but Namjoon swears Yeonjun did just that.

“Buddy, I dont know what choco is. You have to tell me what choco is.” 

“Choco milk.” Yeonjun said. “Duh.”

“Oh sorry. Uncle is just a bit of an id- a bit silly.” Namjoon caught himself before he let out idiot, not wanting the three year old to go back to his father after and Jungkook thinking he was unfit to be a father to Yeonjun.

“Silly uncle. Give me choco milk please silly uncle.” Yeonjun giggled, repeating silly uncle again and again. Namjoon had a feeling he would be called silly uncle for some time. He opened his fridge and pulled out the only bottle of choco milk he had left. He looked at the living room floor, where Yeonjuns bag laid and then back at the kid giving him puppy eyes. 

“Here you go.” Namjoon said, placing the milk on the table after pouring it into a cup and gently lifting yeonjun up into the chair and placing the milk, with a straw in front of the toddler, watching him like a hawk. He knew that somewhere in that bag was a bottle for Yeonjun, that Namjoon was supposed to fill with water and place in Yeonjuns reach so he could have a drink whenever he wanted. Namjoon really didn't feel like looking for the bottle, but he also didn’t trust Yeonjun with a drink bottle the size of his face, wandering around the apartment and his rugs.

“This is just like me and appas old place.” Yeonjun said, leaning on the table with his knees on the chair, chasing the straw with his mouth.

“This is your old place.”

“No- no- no-.” Yeonjun took a big sip before continuing. “My old place is gone, poof now I live in a new place!” Yeonjun said and stuck the straw back into his mouth.

“No, Yeonjun-ah, you and appa moved out and into your place now and I moved into your old place.” Namjoon said, crouching to be eye to eye with his child. 

“No, my place went poof.”

“No.” Namjoon sighed frustrated. “Look, houses can't just go poof.”

“Uncle.” Yeonjun said. “I’m three, you just dont understand.”

“It's you who doesn’t.” Namjoon wanted to say, but figured that this wasn’t the hill he wanted to die on. Instead he just stood up and ut the remainder of the ‘choco’ in the fridge for further consummation.

“Done.” Yeonjun said and pushed his cup away and jumped from the chair, giving Namjoon a heart attack, his head just missing hitting the table edge by a few millimeters.

“Careful baby.” Namjoon said, grabbing Yeonjuns arm before the boy could get away.

“I’m not a baby.” Yeonjun shook his arm from Namjoon's grip. “I want to play. Give me a toy.”

Namjoon blanked. He had no toys in his apartment. The only thing he could think of giving the kid was a can of beer. Even though he had been back for some time, Namjoon's apartment was just full of necessities, looking like it stepped out of an Ikea magazine. 

“Toy uncle!” Yeonjun said, pulling on Namjoon's pant leg, almost pulling them down with the force of the pull. Maybe Namjoon should invest in a good belt like his mother had said.

“Um hold on.” The toddler didn’t let up with the pants pulling, and Namjoon had to keep one hand on the belt loops on his jeans so they didn’t drop to the ground.

“Toy!” Yeonjun yelled.

“Wait, hold up.” Namjoon said as he tried to walk to the living room, which was very difficult when he had a three year old pulling on his leg, half crying, half jumping up and down. He managed to open the bag and rummaged around until he pulled out a car. Yeonjun made huge grabby hands, but stopped his crying. Namjoon handed him the toy car and he turned right around, not even looking at Namjoon. Namjoon backed into the kitchen, looking at the half full glass of chocolate milk. He sat down, dragging the chair so he could look at Yeonjun and for the first time realized just how in over his head he was with this whole parenting thing.

 


 

He caved. Around noon it looked like a hurricane had run over his apartment and Yeonjun refused to eat anything offered to him and had thrown three tantrums. Namjoon could have sworn that Yeonjun had been much nicer when he met him last.

He walked downstairs, Yeonjun hitting him with all his might the whole way and knocked on the door of his best friends and ignored there confused looks.

“Help me.” Was all he had said. Jimin pulled Yeonjun from him, who went easily into Jimin's arms, relaxing quickly as Taehyung rounded the corner with Soobin walking quickly next to them. Yeonjun quiet all his sniffling when he saw his friend and wriggled from Jimin onto the floor. He was aware of Jimin asking him questions but all he felt was hurt.

He couldn't calm down Yeonjun but Jimin could. Namjoon was supposed to be his dad.

“Namjoon!” Jimin pushed him, Namjoon bared his teeth in instinct, feeling threatened. “Knock it off and tell me why you have Yeonjun. Where is Jungkook?”

“His heat came last night.” Namjoon explained. “And he didn’t have anyone to babysit Yeonjun, so I offered.”

“Why would you offer?” Jimin asked. “You barely know Yeonjun and you barely know Jungkook, You tutored him once.”

Namjoon realized then how weird this might look, Since he wasn’t sure if anyone but Jungkook knew that he was his father.

“Look okay, please dont hate me.” Namjoon said. And moved into the apartment. He pulled his friends into the kitchen as the two toddlers started playing together. “I’m Yeonjuns dad.”

“Not funny.” Jimin said, crossing his arms.

“I’m not kidding.” Namjoon said and crossed his arms as well. 

“Holy fucking shit you aren't.” Taehyung said as he placed a hand over his mouth. “What the fuck. How?”

“We had a one night stand and voila!” Namjoon gestured to Yeonjun playing with his car. “I have a kid!”

“How?”

“You want me to tell you how the birds and the bees work? I think you know how they work since you have one as well!” Namjoon hissed as he pointed in the direction of Soobin.

“Alright!” Jimin said, pushing Namjoon's hands from his own. “No need to hiss.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon said, feeling bad for being so harsh to his friends. “I’m just so stressed. Yeonjun.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Yeonjun doesn’t like me and I feel like a piece of shit, I cant even take care of him for 3 hours alone without help.”

“That's normal.”

“What feeling like a piece of shit? Cause I would hope so, my kid doesn’t-” Namjoon began but Jimin interrupted. 

“No, him not liking you.” Jimin began and pulled Namjoon further into the kitchen away from the two kids. “Think about it this way, how would you feel if you’re placed in the arms of a stranger away from anyone you know.”

“Oh.” Namjoon said, realizing  

“I’m going to go on a limb here and say that he doesn’t know you’re his dad.” Namjoon just nodded to agree so Jimin continued. “He’s just scared and shy. He’ll warm up to you. He’s probably been told to be wary of strangers already, given the fact that his dad is a single dad.”

“So he doesn’t hate me?” Namjoon asked hopeful.

“Oh he probably hates you.” Taehyung said, but was quick to add on once he saw Namjoon's sad face. “Dont worry! Soobin hates me sometimes when I take him out of the bath, he’ll warm up to you, especially when you tell him you’re his dad.” Namjoon just smiled, not feeling particularly reassured by his best friend's words 

“Look this wont be forever.” Jimin said pulling Namjoon into a seat and handing him a cup of coffee. “Right now he was pulled from his primary caregiver, handed into the arms of a stranger and given little say as to why. He’s bound to act up and act like a devil throwing a tantrum. He’ll warm up and soon you’ll be locking yourself in the bathroom to get a few seconds away from him.”

“Can consets.” Taehyung said as he walked to the fridge, pulling out a coke and drinking it. 

“Why don’t you sit here and calm down, your smell is till titering on the verge of feral.” Jimin said his nose wrinkling. “Calm down, drink some coffee have a bite to eat-”

“Yeonjun hasn’t eaten yet.” Namjoon interrupted. 

“Leave that to me.” Taehuyng said, leaving his chair and walking into the living room. “Yeonjun-ah! You want to eat and watch tv?” All Namjoon could hear was excited yelling from the living room. Taehyung returned and took the plate that Jimin had handed to him, the two children hot on his heels. 

“Uncle!” Soobin yelled as he saw Namjoon and toddled over to him as quickly as his feet would allow him. “Kiss kiss!” Namjoon picked him up, pressing kisses to his cheeks, making the child squirm and giggle. 

“Me too! Me too!” Yeonjun said and bolted over seeing the fun his friend was having. “Kiss kiss.” Namjoon started shocked but didn’t let the opportunity to hug and kiss his son go to waste. He picked him up and peppered his face with kisses, making him shriek like Soobin.

“Again! Again!” Chanted Soobin, lifting his hands up so Namjoon could pick him up. Namjoon complied and kissed his cheeks again and before he managed to place Soobin down before Yeonjun was in his arms again, demanding more kisses. Namjoon was happy to oblige, his heart feeling full. 

“Okay boys!” Taehyung said after the fourth round of kisses “Wanna watch some bubble guppies?”

“Yes!” The two choruses and ran into the living room as fast as they could. 

“See.” Jimin said as he handed Namjoon a plate. “Just give it time.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said as he looked into the living room where his son was making himself comfortable on the couch. “Time.”

 




Namjoon had been enjoying chatting with Jimin as the toddlers sometimes came and pulled on any available part of their bodies to get the alphas attention on them, When suddenly his phone rang. 

“Who is it.” Jimin asked as Namjoon picked up the phone.

“I dont know.” Namjoon said as he placed his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Namjoon?” 

“Yes?” Namjoon replied, still feeling very confused, mentally counting who would be calling him at 2 pm on a Saturday from a number he didn’t have saved on his phone. 

Hi! This is Yoongi, Hoseok's mate?”

“Ah!” Namjoon said, his eyes lighting up in realisation. 

“Who is it?” wishpred Jimin.

“Yoongi-ssi! To what do I owe this pleasure.” Namjoon said, both for the benefit of Jimin and Yoongi.

“Jungkook just called me, he’s in the middle of his heat.”

“I know Yoongi-ssi. I was the one who pointed that out to him this morning.”

“Apparently it's hitting him pretty hard.”

“How hard?” Namjoon said, feeling concern bubble up to the surface as he sat up straight in his chair.

Hard enough he just called me and begged me to take care of him.” Namjoon didn’t know how to react to that. “ Look he’s never been of his suppressants.”

“Never?” Namjoon waved away Jimin's concerned hands and stood up, making his way into the front of the apartment where Tannie started barking at him. 

Never, he just changed medication because he couldn't afford his old ones any more and I guess they weren’t strong enough.”

“Look, I feel for him but what do you want me to do? I dont get how I can be of any help in this situation.”

I know you’re Yeonjuns father.”

“Okay, and?” Namjoon said, still feeling very confused as to what role he was supposed to play here. Jimin rounded the corner and picked the dog up, rocking him to get him to quiet. 

And I'm asking you to perform the task again!”

“I-what?”

Oh for fucks- I'm asking you to go over to his house and have sex with him and help him through his heat.”

“What.”

Wow you really are as thick as Seokie said you were. Look, it was probably you and your excessive grinding that placed him in this spot anyway. Hobi-ah said you two had been all over each other in the club yesterday.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon began. “I'm still trying to process. What do you mean by me? Why me?”

Look I dont know if Jungkook's told you but he’s never had sex with anyone but you. I don’t want to call the heat helping service because I know he wouldn’t want that, but I doubt he will make it out of this heat without someone to help him. If you dont help him I’m afraid you’ll end up having to explain to Yeonjun why he doesn't have a dad any more.”

“Fuck.” Namjoon said and ran his hands through his hair. “What should I do.”

You have a kid, I doubt I need to explain the ins and out of sex to you.”

“I don’t mean that you idiot.” Namjoon said, feeling himself get angry. “I mean should I just strut over there and assume he would jump me.”

“At this point I think he will.” Yoongi said, not sounding even a bit mad that Namjoon had called him, a stranger, an idiot just a few moments before. “ Look Namjoon-ssi, when I say he’s got it bad I mean he’s got it bad. This is his first heat, and he’s deathly afraid of getting a heat, which is why he’s been on suppressants since before he was ten. Please get your ass over there and help him.”

“Okay, Okay.” Namjoon said, his hand still tugging at his hair. “I’ll go, at least to check up on him, no one should go through their first heat alone.”

“I’ll come over to get Yeonjun then, I’ll shift my shifts around and I think I can take him for a few days.”

“I dont-” Namjoon stopped, looking at Jimin who looked at him strangely, Tannie having been placed back in his closed area in the laundry room. “I’ll get back to you on Yeonjun. I’ll call you back in a few moment's Yoongi-ssi.”

“What was that?” Jimin demanded a right after Namjoon pulled his phone from the ear, not even having hung up. “Who’s Yoongi?”

“Hoseok's mate.” Namjoon replied, placing his phone on the table. 

“Ah, right.” Jimin said. “And why is Hoseok's mate making you so flustered?” Jimin emphasized  on the word mate.

“Jungkook's heat.” 

“I dont see how that should fluster you.” Jimin said, handing Namjoon a toy to fiddle with instead of his hair. “Or concern Yoongi for that fact.”

“It’s his first.” Jimin's face changed at that. “And he apparently called Yoongi and begged him to come over and help him.” Namjoon said as hi fiddled with the buttons on the toy.

“Okay, now I dont see why this concerns you.” Jimin said, reaching down to pet Tans head. “Like at all, he didn’t call and beg you.”

“Cause he wants me to help him.” Namjoon mumbled, feeling his face flush up again.

“Oh-kay.” Jimin said drawing out the syllables. “I’m still confused as to how we’ve reached this conclusion. Why on earth should you- oh!” Jimin's face lit up as he remembered what Namjoon had revealed to him just moments before. “Oh so he wants you to go there and bone him.”

“Please dont say bone.” Namjoon said hiding his face in his arms.

“Do the dirty dance? The devils tango? Any of these strike you fancy?”

“Appa I wanna listen to fancy.” Soobin said, having appeared out of thin air. 

“Kid you scared your appa.” Jimin said with a hand over his heart. “Go ask your papa to play Fancy.” Jimin said herding his kid to the living room once more. “Swear, the kid loves fancy more than he loves bread, he asks us to sing it for him as a lullaby.”

“It's a good song.” Namjoon said, rehiding his face with his arms. “It's catchy.”

“You should see him try to dance to it. Wait, no stop. I can't be distracted.” Jimmin said, shaking the dopey smile off his face. “Yoongi asked you to do the bom-chicka-wow-wow with Jungkook, cause you've already done the organ grinding once with him.”

“Can you please stop with the euphemism for -.” 

“Dont say it.” Jimin cut in.

“Sex-” Namjoon raised his eybrows at his friends anticks. 

“Oh I forgot about that word.” 

“What word.” Namjoon said, feeling a dull pounding in the back of his head as his brain slowly ate itself from the inside from all the whiplash Namjoon has gotten today.

“Sex.” Jimin said. “I only remembered f-u-c-k.”

“Jimin please.” Namjoon sighed. “I can't at this time.”

“Sorry.” Jimin said, sounding genuinely sorry. “I’m just a bit out of my depth here. Its not everyday your best friend comes home, says he has a kid and then imeditly after says he was asked by his former roomates mate to go and have sex with the baby daddy.”

“I'm out of my depth too.” Namjoon said. “Trust me here I’ve tried to google what to do when you knock up a kid you used to tutor but you didn't know he was pregnant or had a kid until 4 years later.”

“I see how that would be difficult.” Jimin said, reaching across and ran a comforting arm up and down Namjoon's arm. “What are you going to do.”

“I’m going to go over, I promised Yoongi as much.” Namjoon said. “It's his first heat, no one should have to go through it alone.”

“People really fucked up when they spliced our genes a few centuries ago?” Jimin asked and Namjoon just nodded. No one should be forced through unbearble pain and hornienes just cause sientict got too lazy to fix a few loopholes in an experiment they did. “So go.” Jimin said when he felt Namjoon had been silent for too long. “Why are you not going over to talk to him.”

“I can't just leave Yeonjun here.” Namjoon said pointing towards the living room where the two tods and Taehyung were watching the tv.”

“Look, Hyung I'm going to be brutally honest with you for a moment here.” Jimin said and continued when Namjoon nodded “ He won't miss you if you leave. Hell! He might even be glad. He doesn't know you.” Namjoon had to admit even if he knew this fact it still stung. “To him you’re only the guy he met once that smelled nice and then took him away from his dad. He’s three, he doesn't grasp the fact that you need two people to make babies. Let him stay with us. Soobin will be happy to have a sleepover buddy and he might just be able to distract Yeonjun for long enough to not make him crazy sad and miss his dad too much. You’ll however only stress him out.”

“That was brutal.” Namjoon said and returned to the table to retrieve his keys.

“I'm sorry, but it had to be said.” Jimin said, rounding the table and hugging Namjoon, Namjoon returned it, trying to memorize the scent forever. “He’ll warm up, eventually. He’s reaching the age where he’ll start to question why he doesnt have two parents like Soobin, dont worry hyung.”

“I’m not.” Namjoon said, squeezing Jimin tightly before letting go. “I’m just stressed.”

“Stress and worry go hand in hand hyung.” Jimin said. “Now, if you dont mind I'm going to inform Taehyung of our living arrangements for the next few days. Go and say goodbye to the kids and then see yourself out and to Jungkook, he needs someone on his side, not many people seem to be.”

 


 

Namjoon hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. He stood outside of the apartment building Jungkook lived in and waited for him to let him in, his buzzer having broken a few days ago and the landlord was too much of a smaug to fix it. Jungkook had scolded him three ways to thursday when Namjoon had called originally saying he was outside his building and had been on the buzzer for a few minutes. After having his ear chewed off, Namjoon explained that, no, he hadn’t left Yeonjun out with the wolves, even if Jimin sometimes acted like one, what with his refusal to close doors. 

Now, three minutes after he hung up he had managed to talk himself both into and out of having sex with Jungkook twice. He tensed up when the door opened and felt himself tense up more when he saw Jungkook. Jungkook eyes were droopy and he smelled like a leather shop.

“You dont look so great.” Namjoon blurted out.

“Thanks hyung.” Jungkook said and shivered. “Dont feel so good either.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon said and flowed Jungkook in. “Do you need help getting up the stairs?”

“No I can do it.” Jungkook said, even if he looked pale and shaky. “Just please give me time.”

“Yes, no problem.” Namjoon said, walking behind him slowly. 

“Can you not.” Jungkook hissed. “Can you just walk one floor and wait please.”

“Yes sure.” Namjoon said and hurried up the first floor like frightened deer. He felt grossly out of his depth and hoped to high heavens someone would come along that could point him to where he can get a guide book as to how to help someone you barely know but had sex with once and produced a kid through his first heat. Namjoon continued walking up the stairs and waiting for Jungkook until they reached the fourth floor. 

“Hyung.” Namjoon heard Jungkook pant out. “Hyung can you please.” Namjoon rushed down the stairs, meeting jungkook and wrapping a hand around his waist steadying him. “Hyung help me.” he panted

“It’s okay.” Namjoon said, running a what he hoped was a comforting hand up and down Jungkook's back. “Want to get on my back? Hm? Do you think that will help?”

Jungkook nodded, his breathing laboured and coming out in short puffs. Namjoon manoverd Jungkook onto his back in what he hoped was a comforting fashion but knowing himself Namjoon was sure that it wasn’t. He wasn’t the best at comfort.

“I’m sorry I'm so heavy.” Jungkook mumbled into Namjoon's neck, his breath tickling Namjoon, making him almost drop the younger.

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from muscle bunny himself.” Namjoon said and Jungkook quaffed.

“I can't believe you remembered that nickname from uni.” Jungkook drawled as Namjoon climbed the stairs one by one. 

“How could I forget? I'd heard through the grape wine that there was this newbie at school who looked like a bunny when he smiled but had abs to die for and then it turns out it's the same sweet kid I tuttor every Wednesday. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Well the abs didn’t last long after I got pregnant. I got them back just a few months ago.” Jungkook said, proudly.

“Well done.” Namjoon said, stumbling onto the fifth floor. “Shit sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” Jungkook mumbled, though he held on tighter than before. “You’re the one carrying me up two flights of stairs.”

“I would have done all six if you would have asked.” Namjoon said. Jungkook didn't respond and Namjoon climbed up the stairs to the sixth floor in silence. “Which ones your door again?” Namjoon asked just as he stepped on the sixth floor.

“You can just put me down and I’ll show you.” Jungkook said and Namjoon complied. Jungkook led them to his door and pulled the door open, the smell of leather hitting Namjoon square in the face. “So now what?”

“I dont know.” Namjoon said after a moment of silence. “I honestly have no idea what we should do.”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook asked, flopping down onto the couch and letting out a groan of relief. “Don’t understand why you’re here.”

“Yoongi-ssi was worried you might kill yourself.” Namjoon said, still standing in the entrance to the home. “He said you begged him to come.”

“I did?” Jungkook asked. “Shit maybe I shouldn't be alone, I dont even remember calling him. Wait what time is it?”

“2 in the afternoon. Why?” Jungkook's face fell. 

“It's still the 20th?”

“Yes.” Namjoon responded as Jungkook's face fell even more. 

“Fuck shit fuck.” Jungkook said, closing his eyes. Namjoon could see tears glisten in the crevices of his eyes. “It’s only been a few hours?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck.” Jungkook whispered, sounding so broken and young. Namjoon was once again hit with the fact that Jungkook was three years younger than him. He was just out of his teen years and he had a toddler.

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon said, not really knowing what to do, even his hands, which were resting by his side, felt out of place. 

“Don’t be.” Jungkook said, his voice shaking. “There’s nothing you did, probably just my new medication, had to switch to a lower dose. Wasn’t as effective as my old one I guessed.” Jungkook said, his voice breaking at the end. Jungkook let out a soft fuck and dug his palm into his eyes. 

“Do you want me to get you some food?” Namjoon asked, sensing Jungkook was trying hard not to cry in front of him. “I'm a horrible cook, but I'm great at getting ajumas to give me food to go.”

“Could you?” Jungkook asked, his voice hoarse and scratchy. “The keys are by the bowl and I promise I’ll pay you back.”

“Dont worry.” Namjoon said, talking the keys and opening the front door. “I have my phone, call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“Okay”

“....”

“Bye Jungkook, I’ll be back in a few.”

“Bye.” Jungkook choked out the reply. Namjoon could hear the sobbing even after he closed the door. He had no idea how he would survive a few days of this.

When Namjoon walked into the apartment around thirty minutes later Jungkook wasn't on the couch anymore, Namjoon could tell by the closed bedroom door that he wanted to be left alone so Namjoon did just that. He placed the bibimbap in the fridge, and unpacked the many packages of instant rice he had bought. He hoped the rice would be light enough that Jungkook could keep it down. Namjoon looked around the apartment after having unpacked all the stuff. He was really out of his depth here. After scrolling through his phone for a bit, leaning against the kitchen counter, feeling like too much of a chicken shit to actually sit down on the couch, he started hearing moaning coming from the bedroom. Namjoon felt himself flush from head to toe. He wasn’t sure he could uphold his end of the deal with Yoongi.

Namjoon made his way to his backpack that he had dropped in the entryway, holding only a few items. He could always just go back to his place and grab a change of clothes if Jungkook didn’t kick him out before that. He took out his headphones, untangleing them carefully and conecting his phone to the headphones once more, playing the music as loud as he could, trying to block out the sounds of sex in the room next to him. Namjoon was halfway successful. He managed to block out most of the sounds but if there was a lull in his playlist he could hear the sounds of moaning. He changed playlist, playing on of Jimin's annoying workout playlists that all seem to have beats faster than his heart rate at the moment. Namjoon maybe should have stuck with the old playlist, cause when Jungkook appeared in front of him, he jumped in surprise.

“-did you come back?” Jungkook asked, Namjoon only catching the tail end of that, after removing his headphones. “Oh wow that is loud!” Jungkook exclaimed, as the music drifted from the headphones. “Did you not once scold me about never playing my music loudly ‘cause I'd for sure blow out my eardrums.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said, running his hands through his hair awkwardly. “I did do that didn’t I?”

“Like, every time we sat down to study and I took them out.” Jungkook said, his face breaking into a teasing smile. “You said you could always tell when I had arrived cause you would hear the sound of bass halfway over the library.”

“Well it was true!” Namjoon defended himself. “You always had bass heavy songs and I could always tell you were getting near cause the-”

“Bookcases started trembling. Yeah, yeah I haven’t forgotten hyung.” Jungkook said, smiling brightly. “This is nice.” 

“What is?”

“Us.” Jungkook said, waving his hands between the two of them. “Teasing each other again. Like we used to when you tutored me.”

“You were an absolute brat at times.” Namjoon said. “You wouldn’t study unless given rewards.”

“Praise me daddy.” Jungkook said, trying to use the teasing phrase he used to use when Namjoon was being too strict. The tensions tripled and Jungkook grimaced. 

“Maybe we dont use daddy.” Namjoon said, trying to hide the way he was affected by the words. 

“Maybe.” Jungkook said, the silence and tension thick enough you could cut it with a knife.

“Do you want something to eat?” Namjoon asked, pushing himself from the counter and grabbing the bibimbap from the fridge. “I also bought a lot of instant rice if you think you can stomach that better?”

“I’ll take that.” Jungkook said, pointing to the bibimbap. Namjoon could see when he turned around that Jungkook was practically salivating  at the sight of food. “I’m starving.”

 

“Yeah, you threw up most everything in your stomach last night.” Namjoon said, placing the food in front of Jungkook. “Probably your body trying to get rid of all the alcohol in your body so it wouldn’t poison the baby it wants so badly to have.”

“Please dont talk about babies right now.” Jungkook pleaded. “I already had one and I never wanted to be pregnant ever or again.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon said, ducking his head down, feeling like a fool.

“Not your fault.” Jungkook said. “It takes two to tango. Did you know that reason I was still a virgin was cause I was deathly afraid that any type of sexual intercourse might make me pregnant?”

“No. I didn’t.” 

“Well I was.” Jungkook said, grabbing the bowl and making his way to the couch. “I still am to be honest. You’re super semen didn’t really help in reasuring me my fear was stupid you know.”

“Sorry.”

“Not totally your fault.” Jungkook said. “Mostly the condoms. Did you know that condoms only have around 98 to 99% chance of being effective?” Namjoon nodded he did know that and had known that. He just never thought he would be unlucky enough to land in the small prosent of doubt. “I didn’t think I could ever be in the percent of people whose condom was defective.”

“Me neither.” Namjoon said, trailing behind Jungkook like a lost puppy. “I’m still sorry.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook said. “I get that, but trust me.” Jungkook looked into his eyes. “It’s been a long time since I’ve held any grudge against you. I’m happy right now.”

“But would I be happier.” Jungkook's statement from a few weeks ago range through his head. Would he be. Namjoon glanced around the run down apartment, the baby pictures on the wall and most surfaces drawings littering the floor in a corner. The apartment was small, run down and grimmy looking, but Jungkook made it look like a home. Namjoon hadn’t lived in a home since before he left for Seoul.  

“You’re not going to eat?” Jungkook asked.

“I already ate at Jimin and Taehyung.” Namjoon responded. 

“Okay if you’re not going to eat can you at least sit down?” Jungkook gestured for Namjoon to take a seat next to him. “You’re making me stressed out, just standing there.”

“Sorry.” Namjoon said, rushing to sit down, almost knocking down the picture lying on the coffee table. “Sorry.”

“Can you please stop saying sorry also.”

“Sorry.” Jungkook sighed and Namjoon wrung his hands together, feeling tense.

“Look, hyung.” Jungkook said, turning to face Namjoon. “I’m not going to kill you okay? Nor bite you. Just calm down. I'm just as stressed as you are, yoongi hyung seemed to decide for both of us that this is what's best for us, without talking to us.”

“Well he did talk to both of us.” Namjoon said and fiddled with his phone. 

“I dont remember him talking to me so he can't have talked too much to me.”

“He said you begged him to come over and fuck him.” 

“See I wasn’t in the right state of mind.” Jungkook said. “He’s like my brother, I would never want to have sex with him ever. If I called him that means something must have been very wrong.”

“Which is why he called me.” Namjoon said. “Look I don't know how much you know about how heats work, especially those after you've been on suppressants all your life. They hit you hard and quick. There is a very big chance that you would just pleasure yourself to death. You would most likely forget to eat and drink, only try and satisfy the itch that's inside of you.” Jungkook just nodded. “I’m not here to have sex with you. I’m here to make sure you dont die. I tried to take care of Yeonjun today and I failed miserable. I need you alive and so does Yeonjun. I’ve proven myself to be way out of my depth in this parenting thing.”

“Okay.” Jungkook said, and the two of the seteled into silence. Namjoon started browsing through twitter on his phone, giving himself something to do as Jungkook ate. 

“Hyung?” Jungkook asked timidly after he finished eating. Namjoon humd, careful not to break the quiet piece around them. “Can you cuddle me?”

“Sure.” Namjoon said and opened his arms. Jungkook crawled over, placing himself in Namjoon's lap, wrapping his arms around Namjoon's waist and burying his face in Namjoon's neck. “That tickles.” Namjoon giggled out, Jungkook's breath tickling him.

“I can move?” Jungkook asked.

“Dont.” Namjoon said, stroking up and down Jungkook's back, in what he hoped, again, was a comforting manner. “This feels nice.”

“Good.” Jungkook said and squeezed Namjoon tighter. Namjoon continued to scroll through his phone, Jungkook resting quietly in his lap. Namjoon didn’t know how long they stayed like this, Jungkook breathing calmly and Namjoon on his phone. Once again it was Jungkook that broke the silence.

“Hyung?” He asked again.

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“...”

“It’s fine if you dont want to.”

“No it's okay.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook tasted like kimchi and rice. He felt strong and lean, his thighs thick. Namjoon felt himself drop his phone somewhere on the couch in favor of grabbing them with both hands.

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“I have a condom.”