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The Duwang Gang Really Steals Girl Scout Cookies

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Josuke was walking around the local mall with his best friends and Rohan. If anyone asked him why the famous mangaka was following him and the rest of the squad, no one in the group could answer that. Suddenly, Okuyasu screamed, a manly scream obviously, but a scream nonetheless. It was then that everyone saw it. The Stand. And no, it was not an enemy Stand that they could see, but a Girl Scout cookie stand. There seemed to be something off about that particular spot, but since Okuyasu was so determined to reach those heavenly cookies that only come once a year, not a single person paid it any mind.

“Josuke, my bro, we gotta buy some,” Okuyasu exclaimed loudly, already dragging his pompadoured friend behind him. Not wanting to be left standing there like idiots, Koichi, Yukako, and Rohan ran to catch up to the duo who were already halfway across the court probably due to The Hand.

They all eventually reached the booth, only for them to realize that the girls were closing up for the day. Upon learning this, Okuyasu and Josuke both fell to the floor in perfect synchronization, wallowing in their loss of the best cookies ever. After a few minutes of absolute misery from those two, and confusion mixed with embarrassment radiating from the other three, the JosuYasu duo pushed themselves up from the definitely disgusting mall floor, and dejectedly stared at the cookie booth before finally shuffling towards the exit.

Leaving the others walking cautiously in their wake.

Outside of the store, Rohan turned to Josuke and immediately reprimanded him.”What on Earth made you decide to run like bats out of hell across the mall in the middle of the day?”

At this, the purple haired teen shot Rohan a complete and utter look of confusion. “What are you talking about?! I didn’t do anything! That was all Oku!”

“Well, sorry, bro, but I saw cookies and got excited,” he tried reasoning. “I can’t help but get distracted when one of my most favorite things is displayed right in front of me!”

Rohan, of course, simply couldn’t comprehend why Okuyasu loved those cookies so much, therefore, he quickly formulated a plan to try and find out.

“Well, if they are your most favorite thing, I suppose we must steal some. Only because I’ve never tried them.” Everyone standing within the circle collectively gasped at him.

“I can’t believe that the man who licked a spider of all things has never tasted a single Girl Scout cookie,” Josuke retorted loudly, earning him quite a few stares from passers-by, who were probably questioning why he was shouting.

Little did they know, one very suspicious blond man happened to be walking by when that sentence was said and he immediately changed course to head right back inside the mall. This man was on a hunt for those girls, prepared to take over as a “leader” so that he could finally get a good hit on that group of rowdy kids. He was ready to anonymously take these girls’s hands and replace them for the now infamous cookies they were selling.

Unfortunately for that specific evil blond, the little group of five did not show up for another couple of days. This gave enough time for the hands to start smelling and making the boxes start to look shady.

Finally, after about a week, there they were again. It must have taken them quite some time to come up with a plan, one that would be utterly destroyed, but one nonetheless. It took not even a minute until they sneakily approached that blond man. He did not have enough time to hide before Josuke and Okuyasu both screamed.

“YOU’RE-”

 

“YOSHIKAGE KIRA”

 

Between the two of them, they figured out who this mysterious blond was without too much trouble. He thought to commend them for putting their two brain cells together and coming up with his name, but decided it against it because all of them were beginning to release their Stands.

Kira attempted to release Sheer Heart Attack at them as opposed to using Killer Queen itself. However, the five had him completely surrounded before he realized and Koichi had activated Act 3 leaving Kira knee deep in the ground. This let Rohan approach from behind, and use Heaven’s Door to write ‘I cannot use Killer Queen or any powers for 24 hours.’ Which solved most of their problems, but Josuke wanted to make sure that Kira wouldn’t be an issue for a while, as they could not kill a man in the middle of a mall. Therefore, Crazy Diamond was summoned and proceeded to unleash a long barrage of DORAs, effectively incapacitating the evil hand man, and giving the Duwang Gang complete access to the dozens of boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

After depositing Kira some blocks away, the squad immediately sprinted to where the booth sat, and raided all if not most types of cookies. Miraculously, all of them did not get caught stealing anything, although this was probably due to the work of their Stands.

As they were walking down the sidewalk, they ended up coming across Mikitaka which was strange considering he was never out by himself unless absolutely necessary.

“Hello, everyone. It’s been a while. What is with all those colorful boxes?” he asked, his tone a mix of confusion and excitement.

“Yo, Mikitaka! We got Girl Scout cookies!” Okuyasu replied, then proceeded to explain the amount. “Rohan here,” he gestured, “ wanted to try them last week, but since we’re kinda broke, we might’ve had ta steal some of them.”

“And,” Josuke continued. “We ended up running into Kira on the way.”

 

The resident alien looked concerned for them all up until Koichi spoke up finally. “Don’t worry about us. We took care of him easily!” This statement seemed to calm Mikitaka a bit before he grew anxious once again about the amount of boxes each one of them and their Stands were carrying.

“What are you going to do with all of those? You cannot possibly eat them all yourselves, or even sell them legally.” He inquired.

Turns out, no one had an answer for that, so they just kind of ignored it. “So, anyways, Would you like to join us in sampling the cookies?” Rohan uncharacteristically invited.

After a few minutes of contemplation, Mikitaka decided to join them on their adventure. Soon the party of six made there way to Rohan’s newly built house and dumped the armfuls of cookie boxes onto the front porch where they instantly plopped themselves down in a shape resembling a circle, and cracked open their first box of cookies.

However, they must have forgotten that Kira was around them because when Yukako opened one, there was a disembodied hand resting inside, replacing the actual edible dessert. Upon seeing that, she screamed loudly, startling even the pedestrians on the streets and even more so, the people in front of her.

“I sincerely hope that Kira did not replace every single package with hands,” Yukako whispered, very unsettled. At this, everyone else began ripping apart each box, only to find more and more hands. It was only until the fifth dozen package when Okuyasu let out a shout of delight.

“You guys! I found a good box!!”

Everyone scrambled over to get a glorious look at those cookies they’ve all been waiting for. Oku passed around the sleeves of Thin Mints and each Stand user took one or two depending on if they’ve had some or not.

The ones who hadn’t ever even seen Girl Scout cookies were forced to try theirs first, but it didn’t take long because the only ones who hadn’t had any were Rohan and Mikitaka. They were vaguely suspicious of them after witnessing and being a part of Kira’s prank, if one would want to call it that.

Eventually, they did try them and unsurprisingly liked them. So, for a few hours, the six of them sat on Rohan’s porch talking joyfully and munching on Girl Scout cookies. However, their happiness didn’t last for very long because by the time they reached a lull in conversation, none of them could stand up to leave if they wanted to.

For the next few days, everyone regretted eating so much, and friends and family were concerned when the four highschoolers didn’t show up. At least Rohan got what he wanted for once without arguing or fighting with Josuke at any point in the week. Mostly due to the fact that they were too sick to do so in the first place.