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i love the thought of being with you (or maybe its the thought of not being so alone)

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Gaige let out a sigh as she plopped down into her seat. Bunkers and Badasses. A game she hadn't played since before she left her home. She didn't play often or anything, you kind of need friends to play, but she made do with the BNB club at her school. She let her eyes drift upwards to the rest of her party.

Lilith sat tall and strong, no grief evident in her stance, though Gaige knew she felt it. The death of her boyfriend-not-boyfriend had hit her hard, and Gaige knew the feeling well. But the siren carried herself well, and surprisingly found solace in Maya, the other siren who accompanied them. Now, Gaige wasn't a gossip, no sir, but anyone with eyes could see the way the redhead insisted on training with Maya. "'We're both sirens!'" her ass. But still. Gaige knew Roland's death had crippled the new leader of the Crimson Raiders. They spoke often, knowing the other understood the grief of losing the one she loved. Lilith had offhandedly mentioned the guilt she felt over the thought of moving on, of finding someone knew, even though they both knew that Roland would want her to be happy. But Gaige understood. The thought that someone could replace Angel almost repulsed Gaige. She knew Lilith didn't look at Maya as a replacement Roland, but she understood how the older siren felt. Lilith's grief was still fresh, and Gaige was glad she had someone who understood.
Brick and Mordecai. Huge and towering, unwavering in their courage and need to protect all of them. Brick was almost like a brother to Gaige, usually fun and playful, and more than willing to watch Deathtrap blow things up with her. He was sitting next to Mordecai, animatedly talking to the thin man who looked bored, but had a nice smile as he gazed at Brick. Mordecai wasn't as close to Gaige, but he was kind when she spoke to him. She had felt his anger, his sadness as he screamed for Bloodwing, his fallen companion. Both men oozed passion and skill, and she was happy to have them around. She blinked as Brick's loud laugh snapped her momentarily out of her thoughts and smiled at them softly.
And Tina. Their game master. Gaige's friend. Gaige hadn't spoken too much to Tina since killing Jack, but she knew Roland's death had to be hitting the young girl hard. Or, at least, she thought it had been until the explosives expert spoke cheerfully.
"Okay! Okay okay okay!!! Should we go ahead and jump into playing? Or do you guys think we should wait for Roland?" She looked owlishly at her players, a grin plastered on her face. Gaige winced and she saw Lilith pale.
"T-Tina, we talked about this, Roland isn't coming, he isn't here anymore-"
"Yeah, he's probably running late, we should just start without him!" Tina interrupted the siren, entirely ignoring her words. Gaige shot Lilith a worried look, but the siren simply shook her head. This was a conversation for another time.

 

***

 

"Introducing, the white knight: Roland!!!!" Tina exclaimed joyfully, waving her hands for emphasis. Mordecai and Brick exchanged a look as Lilith spoke once again.
"Tina-"
"Now that you have the white knight in your party, you have continue!" Gaige shot a look at Lilith, watching the siren take a breath. Gaige could only imagine how much this hurt her. Using your dead partner as an imaginary character in a game? It sounded.... Gaige shuddered.

 

***

 

"H-help me, help me please!" The orb cried softly, calling out to their party. Gaige made her character roll perception, only rolling an eight. She turned to the rest of the party.
"Do you guys think it's a good idea to follow her?" she inquired, quirking an eyebrow. Mordecai shrugged.
"About as good an idea as anything else we've been doin'."
Brick pumped his fist.
"Maybe it's a boss fight!" Lilith's eyes sparkled, and she looked at Gaige, incredulous.
"Are you kidding?? Of course we have to follow it!"
Gaige shrugged.
"Okay, lets go then." Their small party followed the orb, leading them down into the dungeon. It lead them right to a girl who was... restrained and... a prisoner. Gaige paused. Tina didn't, did she? She couldn't, could she?
"Oh, thank you for freeing me!" The girl cried. Her voice suddenly warped to a more evil tone.
"So now I can reenact my vengeance!" Tina made a soft 'ooo-ing' sound.
"And then the evil sorcerer's evil daughter transforms into a horrible beast, a drider! Half dark elf, half spider! And she's horribly evil and a butt face and stuff." Gaige sucked in a breath. The game went on.
"Hahahahaha, I'm so evil and bad! Everything is my fault!" The evil spider girl cackled. Lilith caught the look in Gaige's eye and immediately started:
"Tina-" There was a loud thud as Gaige stood up, her chair falling to the floor behind her. She stared Tina down, before saying coldly:
"I think I'll see how the others are handling things downstairs." She turned on her heel and ran downstairs, outside, where she immediately let out a yell of frustration. Her girlfriend hadn't been evil, and the abuse and torture she had suffered hadn't been her fault! She had gone through so much for them, for *Gaige*, and was still remembered as a villain. Gaige let out a sniffle. She missed her. The months she had spent in Sanctuary, whispering and giggling into her Echo had made her so incredibly happy. And then it was ripped away. And she had been the one to end things. Gaige was the one who had to pull the trigger on her own girlfriend. The last thing Angel had said to her was "I love you." Gaige collapsed to the ground, hugging her knees as more tears came. It just wasn't fair! She had everything taken away from her when she left her planet, then as soon as she built a new life, it had been ripped away once again. She heard footsteps come from behind her and immediately snapped:
"Go away, I don't want to play some stupid game right now!" She buried her face back into her knees, stifling another sob. She felt a hand on her back and peeked up from her arms to see who had followed her. Bright red hair and somber orange eyes greeted her. Lilith. The older siren sighed and sat down beside her young friend.
"That was... that was pretty awful, huh?" Gaige snorted slightly.
"Yeah, that's one way to put it." Lilith let out a humorless chuckle and paused for a second before continuing.
"Tina... Tina doesn't fully grasp what happened yet, I don't think. Or rather, I don't think she wants to grasp it. I'm sure she knows that blaming Angel won't bring Roland back, and that putting Roland in the hero role won't bring him back, but..." she trailed off, trying to find the right words.
"I think she'll understand with time. The sacrifice that Angel made for us, including her. And that Roland's gone, but he wouldn't want her to keep living in the past. He'd want her to move forward, stronger and braver than when she started." Gaige wiped her nose, giving Lilith a watery smile.
"I-I... I just m-miss her, Lily..." she let out another sob. She felt Lilith wrap an arm around her shoulder.
"I know, killer, I know you do. And I'm sure she'd miss you, too." For a while, they sat like that, gazing at the Pandoran sky, both lost in memories of those past. Gaige sniffed slightly, wiping away some stray tears before she grinned at Lilith.
"Let's go finish that game. We can tell Tina about Angel, the *real* Angel, later." Lilith smiled back.
"Hell yeah, killer. Let's go kill that magical handsome jackass."