Minhyuk had a problem.
He had tried hard to think it wasn’t a big problem, he tried ignoring it, distracting himself on purpose, he tried every little thing he could think of to just forget about his problem, but as time went by, he slowly realized that his “small problem” was bigger than he wanted to admit.
Or should he say crush?
His face went warm when the word appeared in his mind. He had a crush. He had tried denying it to himself for so long, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He had the biggest crush he had ever had in his life. And surely, this shouldn’t even be a problem, he was the amazing Minhyuk, the chances of being rejected were as low as the temperature on the poles; he was charming, and he was extremely hot. This wasn’t his problem, he wasn’t really afraid of rejection, he was almost sure his crush had feelings for him too.
Then why couldn’t he just confess?
The first time he had seen Eunkwang he hadn’t think much of the guy, he wasn’t cute or even handsome, he was funny though, and extremely talented as he had come to discover with time; but what he just couldn’t understand was why, what he once thought was the most regular guy ever, suddenly became so unavoidable.
To make it more unbearable, they shared an apartment. Having the biggest crush on his roommate was extremely hard, once Eunkwang was in the same room as him, his eyes fixed on him immediately, he found himself admiring his smile as his heart beat so hard he was afraid he could get a heart attack.
He was laying on the couch, reflecting on his feelings, when he heard the door open.
"I’m home." He heard Eunkwang’s voice and his heart immediately jumped in his chest, he was going to go crazy. He stared at Eunkwang, he looked at his face, his eyes, his lips… And suddenly he saw Eunkwang’s face right in front of his, he felt the other put his hand softly on his forehead with a worried frown.
"Are you ok?" He heard Eunkwang asking but he still couldn’t find his voice, Eunkwang was so close he could just kiss him right there.
"Earth to Lee Minhyuk!" Eunkwang raised his voice a little while shaking his shoulder carefully "Are you really sick?"
Minhyuk got out of his trance, he was going to go crazy if he kept on living like this.
"No! I’m okay! Nothing’s wrong!" He knew he sounded insincere, but he was too nervous to sound normal, he had been just seconds away from kissing Eunkwang.
"Are you sure? Your face is so red, and you were so spaced out, maybe you’re getting a cold," Eunkwang sat next to him on the couch and gave him a worried look.
"Don’t worry, I was just taking a nap and wasn’t completely awake yet," he laughed a bit and saw how Eunkwang relaxed and laughed a bit with him too.
"Yah! You scared me!"
"Sorry, I guess I have been tired lately." He scratched the back of his neck while saying this.
"I know, you have been really weird lately, I figured it was because of work, but, I brought dinner today! So let’s just relax and watch a movie!" Eunkwang said this while getting up and taking a bag Minhyuk didn’t even realize he had put in the coffee table in front of the couch. He made his way to their small kitchen while smiling.
"Sounds great! Do you have any movie in mind?" Minhyuk got up too and followed Eunkwang to the kitchen to help him set up for dinner.
"Not really, anything is fine."
They were like a couple already, Minhyuk could totally picture the jump from friends to lovers, they were already having “dates” like this all the time!
“Then why can’t I just do something?” He thought and felt a heaviness set on his chest, He was almost sure Eunkwang had feelings for him too, so why couldn’t he just be brave enough to confess? He was Lee Minhyuk after all! He had never been rejected in his life! “What if I am wrong about Eunkwang having feelings for me?”
Minhyuk was scared, his little problem, his little crush, he had tried everything to deny it, he tried every single thing he could think of to just dismiss it, but how could he dismiss such strong feelings? The small crush he thought he had was so big he was afraid of even ruining his chance of staying as friends with Eunkwang. His “little crush” was more than just a crush. He had trouble admitting to it, but he knew the reason he couldn’t confess, he had known for a while now, that his feelings were more than just a crush.
He was in love.
He had never been in love before, and, even though he didn’t want to accept it, he was afraid.
The next morning, he woke up feeling nice. He felt warm all over and he wished he could stay like that forever, he snuggled against his pillow a little more, and suddenly he was surprised when he felt a heartbeat.
“is my pillow alive,” he opened his eyes, slowly realizing that he was indeed not in his room, and he was definitely not snuggling his pillow. “what the…” he suddenly panicked, he was sleeping on Eunkwnag’s chest. They were still on the couch, he couldn’t really remember having fallen asleep but they somehow ended up tangled on the couch.
Eunkwang had his arms wrapped firmly around him, and he had one of his legs in between the other’s legs. Minhyuk stopped breathing for a second. What should he do? He could pretend to be sleeping and just enjoy the moment a little longer but what if Eunkwang woke up and had a bad reaction? What if he pushed him away?
His heart was beating extremely hard and suddenly stopped.
Eunkwang moved slightly, and he suddenly got aware of a big problem he had. A really big problem in between his legs pressing against Eunkwang’s thigh.
Minhyuk got up as fast as he could, getting out of Eunkwang’s embrace and running straight to the bathroom, pushing Eunkwang out of the couch in the process.
"ooooouuuuch," he could hear Eunkwang complaining, he felt a little guilty but it couldn’t compare with the relief he felt thinking about how embarrassing it would have been if Eunkwang had realized.
He was sitting on the floor of the bathroom against the door, trying to get his heart rate normal again, when suddenly, he heard knocks on the door.
"Are you ok?" it was Eunkwang, he sounded worried.
"Yes! I’m okay! I just…"
“didn’t want you to know I got hard while sleeping in your arms”
"...Needed to pee!"
He heard Eunkwang walk away and tried to relax a bit, he was definitely in big trouble. He had to do something about his feelings fast.
"Sungjae-ya, I really need some advice," after the incident on the couch, Minhyuk had decided he had to do something, so, knowing his friend Sungjae had quite a situation with his own roommate, he called him to try and get some advice before he went and ruined everything with Eunkwang.
"Why are you asking me for advice hyung?" He could tell Sungjae was a little surprised on the other side of the phone.
"You are the only one who can help me with this, are you free right now?"
"Yes, I have the day off today."
"That’s great, drop by as soon as possible, Eunkwang is not here and I think he is going to come back later than usual today, he was going to meet with some friends or something." Minhyuk was nervous, but he was desperate, he was actually going to talk to Sungjae about his problem.
"Ah, Eunkwang hyung is not there? So you want to talk about your crush on him?"
"What?!" Minhyuk felt his cheeks get warm, how did Sungjae know about it?
"Was I supposed to not know about it? Hyung you're not subtle at all, it wasn’t hard to figure out," Sungjae laughed a little, he was the biggest tease ever.
"Just… just come here fast!"
Sungjae didn’t even have time to answer before Minhyuk hung up, he was so embarrassed he could have died, was he really obvious about his feelings? Had Eunkwang realized it too? Who else knew about it?
His heart was racing so hard he thought he was going to get a heart attack.
He got up from his usual spot on the couch and started walking aimlessly around the apartment, trying to will his embarrassment away.
He was suddenly taken back to reality when he heard the doorbell. Sungjae was there already. He breathed as deeply as he could and went to open.
"Hyung, don’t you think that you should be nicer to me if you want my advice? You even hung up on me."
Sungjae didn’t wait for an invitation to get in, he entered as if he owned the place and sat on the couch.
"I’m sorry Sungjae, you really startled me, I didn’t mean to do that. Thanks for coming."
"So, what was it that you wanted my advice about?" Sungjae smiled, pleased.
"Wait a moment, I’ll bring some coffee and we can talk about it." Minhyuk was nervous, and Sugjae could tell.
"Hyung, you don’t have to be so tense! I’ll help you so just relax!"
Minhyuk was pouring coffee for them both in the kitchen, and felt a little ridiculous for worrying so much, he wasn’t a teenager, he was an adult who liked another adult, it shouldn’t be so hard, so why did he felt so scared about it? He brought the coffee to the living room feeling a little more relaxed. He sat next to Sungjae after giving him his coffee, and let a loud sigh out.
"Are you ready to talk now?"
Minhyuk was ready.
"I’m in love with Eunkwang."
Hel felt his cheeks get warm after saying it, he kind of expected Sungjae to make fun of him, but the other was just looking at him without expression.
"Yes, I thought we had already established that earlier on the phone."
That’s right, Sungjae already knew about his feelings, he liked to fool around but he was actually very observant.
"Yes, but I think you don’t really understand, I am really in love with him, I had never felt this way before, and I just don’t know what to do."
"What do you want to do?"
Minhyuk thought about it for a while, What did he want to do? He wanted a relationship with Eunkwang, he wanted to be able to hold his hand, kiss him, hug him. He wanted all of the other for himself. So, what did he want to do to make that possible?
"I want to confess."
He sighed again.
"Then why don’t you? I am sure he won’t reject you."
"How can you be so sure? I mean, didn’t you reject Changsub when he confessed to you?"
Sungjae chocked on his coffee.
"Yah! Are you crazy? Why did you say something like that when I was drinking? I could have died!"
Minhyuk laughed a little, he could tell Sungjae had gotten flustered by his words.
"I’m sorry Sungjae, but, why did you think I wanted your advice? It’s because you were on a similar position! Your roommate confessed to you, I just wanted to know if things got really weird after you rejected him, I mean, I don’t want to screw things completely, if we can’t be together I want to at least keep on being friends. That’s why I wanted to know how things were after you rejected Changsub."
Minhyuk could see Sungjae’s face getting slightly red.
"Well, the truth is…" Sungjae's cheeks were getting redder and redder, "I didn’t really… didn’t really reject him…"
Minhyuk’s eyes went wide.
"You are dating him now?! But you told me…"
"That’s not it!" Sungjae raised his voice a little, "I didn’t reject him but that doesn’t mean we are dating now! Is not like I accepted his confession either!"
Minhyuk didn’t know what to think, he was really confused now.
"What do you mean you didn’t reject him but didn’t accept his confession either? That makes no sense at all!"
"Well, it’s not my fault! That idiot didn’t even give me a chance to answer! And I was so flustered cause he did that, I couldn’t even say anything and now he is just acting as if nothing weird happened!"
"What do you mean he did that?" Minhyuk couldn’t believe Sungjae hadn’t told him the entire story two weeks ago when everything happened.
"What!?" Sungjae’s face got redder than a tomato.
"Well, you're the one who said it."
"Why are we talking about this? Aren’t we here to discuss your crush on Eunkwang hyung?" Sungjae tried to get the conversation back on track but Minhyuk wasn’t ready to let it go just yet.
"But do you like him? You always complain so much about him, I was sure you low-key hated him but could it be you actually like him too?"
"Wh, what are you talking about? Why would I like an idiot like that!"
Minhyuk suddenly wondered how he had never realized it, of course Sungjae liked Changsub! Even if he was always complaining about the other he was always looking for him, tried to get into silly fights with him, and every time Changsub wasn’t present he always took the time to text the other.
"I can’t believe you actually like Changsub, and I can’t believe I just realized it."
Minhyuk looked really surprised.
"So what if I like him? We're here to talk about you liking Eunkwang, not about me!"
"You're so lucky," Sungjae calmed down a little when he saw the serious expression on Minhyuk’s face.
"Why is that?"
"Well, the guy you like actually confessed to you, I’m kind of envy."
Sungjae sighed heavily before talking again.
"So what if he confessed? Is not like anything changed."
Sungjae sinked into the couch, he had been so frustrated lately, he didn’t feel lucky at all.
"At least you know, he is probably just waiting for you to make the next move, I wish I knew if Eunkwang has feelings for me."
Sungjae looked at Minhyuk, he looked kind of sad.
"You are really dense hyung, do you really think he doesn’t like you?"
Minhyuk took a while before answering.
"I think Eunkwang probably likes me."
"Of course he does!"
Minhyuk didn’t know what to think, was Sungjae serious? Could it be real?
"How can you be so sure?"
"Just the same way I knew about your feelings, you are both like a couple already."
Minhyuk’s heart accelerated, if Sungjae was right about Eunkwnag just as he had been about him, then he had a chance, he suddenly felt excitement filling his chest, he needed a plan, he was going to confess.
Eunkwang was in love with Minhyuk. He had been in love with his roommate for so long he couldn’t even remember a time he hadn’t been in love with the other guy.
But his feelings were a secret, or at least were supposed to be a secret. He was sure he hadn’t the slightest chance with the other, so he was trying as hard as he could to keep his feelings hidden. He didn’t want to spoil the relationship they had now. He knew deep down that he was a coward, why couldn’t he be like his friend Changsub? Even if Minhyuk rejected him, he could at least make the other aware of him as a man, instead of just as a friend.
“there’s no way I could do that”
He thought this while remembering how bad Minhyuk had reacted when they woke up together on the couch. Minhyuk had said he just needed to pee, but he had stayed in the bathroom for over 20 minutes, it was obvious to him that the other was trying to avoid him after waking up tangled with him on the couch.
Eunkwang sighed, he wished he could just erase his feelings and enjoy his friendship with Minhyuk without having to worry about the other finding out and hating him. He was walking towards the door of the apartment they shared when suddenly, he heard something that made him freeze on the spot.
"I think Eunkwang probably likes me."
It was Minhyuk’s voice. He knew about his feelings! Eunkwang’s heart felt as if it was going to explode.
"Of course he does!"
He recognized the other voice as Sungjae’s, Chansub’s roommate. His blood rushed through his veins with so much force he couldn’t hear anything else. He decided to run. There was no way he could face Minhyuk now that he knew about his feelings, what if he asked him to move out? What if he was totally grossed out by it? He felt like crying, he needed to figure something out soon.
Without even realizing it he ended up in front of Changsub’s apartment. It wasn’t really surprising since his apartment was just two floors below his own. He knocked on the door and waited. When Changsub opened the door he went in without being able to say a single word.
"Are you ok?" He heard Changsub ask but he couldn’t find the will to speak, he was afraid of crying if he did. He walked slowly and sat on the couch.
"Dude, you're scaring me. What happened? You look pale."
Eunkwang breathed deeply before saying, in the tiniest voice he could:
He wasn’t looking at Changsub but he heard him gasp.
"Did you finally confess!?"
Eunkwang shook his head, not being able to say anything, he felt the familiar knot on his throat, he was about to seriously cry.
"How are you so sure that he knows, then?"
Actual tears started to fall from his eyes, he was screwed, he could never go back to his house, he was never going to be able to face Minhyuk again.
"I heard him." His voice was trembling, he cleaned his tears with the back of his hand.
"Just calm down, it could just be a misunderstanding, I’ll make some tea, just breath slowly or something."
Changsub went into the kitchen, Eunkwang tried to breath slowly as he was advised, he seriously didn’t want to cry in his friend’s house like this, he needed to think of a way to fix this. Maybe if he made the other think it was all just a misunderstanding he could actually keep his friendship, he needed a plan, but what could he do?
He was trying hard to think of a way to fix this problem, how could he make it so Minhyuk thought it was all a misunderstanding? What could he do?
"Did you calm down a little?" He saw Changsub walk toward him with a cup of tea on his hand. "Drink this," Said Changsub while giving Eunkwang the tea. "It will help you calm down."
Eunkwang took the tea and sipped on it, still trying hard to figure a way to get out of this predicament.
"What should I do?" He finally asked Changsub.
"Well, for starters, you should go and talk to Minhyuk about it." Eunkwang opened his eyes wide, was Changsub crazy?
"Are you crazy? I don’t think I can do that. I need a way to make him think I don’t really like him."
"And I'm the crazy one? You are just going to make things more complicated, just go and talk to him, you never know, he could like you back."
Eunkwang made an exasperated sound, there was no way Minhyuk could like him back.
"Then get a boyfriend."
Eunkwang turned his face so fast to face Changsub he could have broken his neck.
"What!?" He looked scandalized.
"Well, " started Changsub, "If you are so sure he doesn’t like you, maybe you should try dating someone else, you know, maybe you should try to get over Minhyuk already."
"I wish I could just get over him, but I think that's even more impossible. I’m too deep in."
They both stayed in silence for a moment, Eunkwang was seriously considering what Changsub said. It was impossible for him to get a boyfriend, not when he loved Minhyuk so much, it would be unfair to the other person and to himself, but there was totally something he could do.
"I know what I have to do!"
"You're going to talk to Minhyuk?"
"No, i just have to make him think I’m in love with someone else."
Changsub wanted to facepalm so hard.
"And how exactly do you plan to do that?"
"I’ll figure something out."
Changsub felt so frustrated.
After some minutes of silence Eunkwang finally said something.
"Can I stay the night here?"
Changsub looked at him incredulous, was he really going to avoid Minhyuk?
"No way!" Changsub crossed his arms over his chest.
"Why not?" Eunkwang tried to give him puppy eyes, there was no way he could go to his own apartment when Minhyuk was there.
"You just need to go and face Minhyuk, you can’t stay here avoiding him while making up some ridiculous plan that won’t even work anyway. You need to be brave!"
Eunkwang wasn’t brave. There was so many things he was afraid of, he had never let that stop him from living his life to the fullest, but facing Minhyuk right now was the worst fear he had ever felt. He was terrified.
"But weren’t you the one who gave me the idea?"
Changsub couldn’t believe it, he needed to get some sense into Eunkwang’s head.
"I didn’t gave you any weird idea! I just told you that if you aren't planing of advancing your relationship with Minhyuk then you should just get over him already."
Eunkwang knew Changsub was right, but he wasn’t ready to face Minhyuk.
"Just tonight, please." Eunkwang was practically begging, but Changsub was unfazed by it.
"No. Way. Let’s go, I’m taking you home." Changsub suddenly got up and Eunkwang started to sweat coldly.
"I can go by myself," he said with a small voice.
"I know you, you'll probably end up going to Hyunsik’s, you seriously need to face Minhyuk."
Changsub took Eunkwang by his wrist and dragged him out, Eunkwang felt like dying.
"Wait, wait, Changsub, please, I’m not ready, please, please, please…"
By this point Eunkwang knew it was pointless, Changsub was determined to take him home.
"You'll never be ready, so the sooner the better. Even if you get rejected it will be for the best, at least you'll be able to move on. Trust me, there’s no moment like the now."
Eunkwang was trembling, the short elevator ride had never been so short. They were suddenly in front of his apartment door.
"I can’t do this."
"Give me your key."
"I seriously can’t do this."
Changsub sighed and rang the bell. Eunkwang’s heart was beating so hard. He needed to do something. So without even thinking much about it, the moment he heard the door open, his brain went on autopilot, he was going to stick to his original plan, he couldn’t just face Minhyuk like this, he moved forward and kissed Changsub.
It was the smallest peck in the universe, but it was still a kiss.
"Dude wh…" Changsub was about to say something when a louder voice interrupted.
"What the fuck!?" It was Sungjae. Eunkwang knew without even looking, he was too afraid to look at anyone, specially Minhyuk.
Changsub turned to look at Sungjae immediately, he looked extremely pissed off, his heart totally sank, he didn’t even notice Minhyuk standing next to Sungjae looking totally pale.
Sungjae walked past Changsub and Eunkwang, his face was red, probably because of how pissed he looked.
"Wait, Sungjae!" Changsub went running behind him, and soon enough they both dissapeared from Eunkwang’s sight.
He fucked up. He had totally forgotten Sungjae was there too, he had to apologize to Changsub. He hadn’t listened to him and he caused problems for the other but the most important thing right now was Minhyuk. He still wasn’t able to look at the other, so he was just standing outside of their home, looking at his own shoes, trying to find the courage to just say something but he couldn’t find it inside. He felt like crying again.
Minhyuk couldn’t believe what he just saw. Eunkwang had kissed Changsub. Right in front of his eyes. Did Eunkwang like Changsub? Didn’t he know Changsub was actually in love with Sungjae?
Didn’t Eunkwang… Like him back?
He felt his heart break, he hadn’t even gotten to confess and he still got his heart broken. It hurt so bad, he felt tears starting to form in his eyes, he tried looking at Eunkwang, but the other looked devastated, he was looking down and seemed like he could burst into tears at any moment.
Minhyuk felt his chest hurt even more. Was Eunkwang rejected by Changsub? That was the only explanation he could come with. Changsub had obviously chosen Sungjae over Eunkwang, and the sight of a heartbroken Eunkwang just made him ache even more. He wanted to say something to make Eunkwang feel better, he really wanted to help the other feel better, he didn’t like seeing him like that, so… sad, but how could he do that when he was probably feeling worse?
He tried to say something, but he felt a knot in is throat, and finding himself unable to say anything and at the verge of crying, he just decided to walk back inside. He let Eunkwang out by himself, with the door open, and went to his room. Once he closed the door tears started to freely fall from his eyes, he bit his lower lip trying to be quiet, he didn’t want Eunkwang to know he was crying.
He didn’t sleep at all that night, he couldn’t get the image of a heartbroken Eunkwang out of his mind, he kept on repeating the scene in his head, Eunkwang kissing Changsub. Eunkwang almost crying after Changsub had ran after Sungjae. Eunkwang not even being able to look at him, standing outside their door…
Falling in love was the worst thing that had happened to him.
The following days were the most awkward of his life. He couldn’t stand watching Eunkwang in so much obvious pain, he had eventually tried to talk to the other but it hadn’t worked. Eunkwang wasn’t even looking at him, an entire week had passed since the incident with Changsub, and even thought his heart still hurt as much, he missed Eunkwang so much.
He missed laughing with him, making diner together, just watching a silly movie on the couch, talking about anything, even if his heart hurt, he just wanted at least his friend back. Why was he suffering so much for a guy who was obviously in love with someone else? Changsub had been in love with Sungjae for so long, they all knew, Eunkwang totally knew this, why did he fall in love with Changsub when he was right there by his side?
He couldn’t stand watching Eunkwang like that anymore, he had to do something. Even if he couldn’t have Eunkwang romantically, he was going to at least try and get his friend back. Even if he had to sacrifice his own heart he was going to help Eunkwang get over Changsub.
It was decided, Minhyuk got out of work that day and went straight to the grocery store, he bought ingredients to make Eunkwang’s favorite, got some beer and some junk food; he walked in direction to their apartment, he knew he still had time before Eunkwang returned so he decided to start making dinner. He was going to surprise Eunkwang and somehow he was going to get his friend back.
Eunkwang was an idiot. He knew he was an idiot, he didn’t need anyone telling him. He had kissed his best friend without even thinking just to get the guy he loved to think he wasn’t in love with him, but he had completely forgotten they were all completely aware of the fact Changsub was in love with Sungjae, of course his stupid plan was a failure, he was sure Minhyuk had been able to see right through him. How could Eunkwang try to kiss the friend he knew was so desperately in love with someone else? There was no way Minhyuk had believed his act.
He got the confirmation when instead of trying to talk to him Minhyuk had completely ignored him and locked himself up on his room. Now that Minhyuk was aware of his feelings for him he had decided to ignore him, and Eunkwang didn’t know how to deal with it. When he was able to get out of his shock and actually entered the apartment he felt so numb he didn’t even cry, he felt on his bed and stayed awake all night, he had screwed up big time.
The following days were so painful, he couldn’t look Minhyuk, much less talk to him. Minhyuk had actually tried to talk to him in some occasions but Eunkwang just didn’t know how to handle it. The only thing keeping him alive was that Changsub had actually forgiven him, not that he had the courage to go and talk to him anyway, he was still so embarrassed about all the trouble he caused. He felt trapped, why did Hyunsik live so far?
He sighed, he was about to get out of work but he didn’t feel like going back, Minhyuk would probably be there, and although he totally missed the other, his chest hurt so much every time he looked at him, he wished he could just disappear.
He walked home slowly, he felt some rain drops fall on him but he didn’t have an umbrella, even if he did he probably didn’t have the energy to use it. By the moment he reached the building his apartment was in he was completely drenched.
He opened the door slowly, he could feel the smell of food, had Minhyuk cooked? He entered slowly and saw that there was a lot of food on their table, what was happening?
"Oh, you are home!" He heard Minhyuk said from the kitchen, he sounded cheerful. Eunkwang’s heart clenched, it was too painful still, he wasn’t ready.
"I made di… what happened to you? You are drenched!" Minhyuk got close to Eunkwang, and Eunkwang steeped back, afraid of the closeness. He wasn’t able to answer, he wasn’t even able to look at Minhyuk.
He heard an exasperated sound leave Minhyuks lips, he got a little surprised but kept quiet.
"Do you really like him so much?" Minhyuk’s question had taken him by surprise, he sounded pissed, he couldn’t help but look at the other out of surprise.
"What…" was the only thing he got to say, Minhyuk’s stare was so intense he couldn’t say anything else.
Minhyuk got even closer to him, and Eunkwang was sure his heart was going to give up on him at any moment.
"Do you really like Changsub that much!?"
Eunkwang couldn’t believe what he was listening, did Minhyuk really think he liked Changsub? His eyes opened wide, he didn’t know what to say, but even if he had something to say he wouldn’t had been able to because Minhyuk walked toward him, getting closer and closer.
He walked back but was met by the wall, Minhyuk put his hand on the wall next to his head, just the way they do in dramas, and Eunkwang’s heart was going to burst, what was happening?
Minhyuk looked directly into his eyes, and Eunkwang felt his face going red. He tried to breath, but no amount of oxygen could have prepared him for what Minhyuk said next.
"Why couldn’t it be me?"
Minhyuk suddenly looked sad, and Eunkwang was having trouble catching up with his words.
"What do you mean?" Eunkwang didn’t know how he was able to actually talk, with Minhyuk’s face so close to his own.
"Why couldn’t you love me instead?" He saw tears actually forming in Minhyuk’s eyes, was Minhyuk crying because he thought he didn’t love him? What was actually happening?
Eunkwang placed his hand on Minhyuk’s face, trying to clean his tears.
Minhyuk closed his eyes and said, on a really low voice:
"I’ll help you forget about him, so please chose me instead."
The realization hit Eunkwang hard, and he suddenly felt light.
"I’m not in love with Changsub." Minhyuk opened his eyes wide, he obviously didn’t believe what Eunkwang was saying.
"You kissed him, you have been so depressed since he rejected you."
"I… " Eunkwang tried to explain, but he didn’t know how to start, "I’m an idiot."
Minhyuk raised an eyebrow and Eunkwang covered his face with both hands.
"I’m not in love with Changsub, I was sure you figured out my feelings for you, so I kissed him to make you believe I liked him."
Minhyuk couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
"But, then why have you been so depressed lately? If he didn’t reject you…"
"After I did it I realized how stupid I was, you would never believe I liked him. I was sure you had seen through it all, I felt so… I was sure you knew about my feelings, and I just couldn’t face you, I was afraid of being rejected."
"You thought I would reject you?"
That totally took Eunkwang by surprise, he looked into Minhyuk’s eyes, he had a serious look on his face.
"I love you so much," Minhyuk actually got closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder, he could feel his breathing on his neck, he couldn’t believe this was actually happening, Minhyuk just said he loved him. "You have no idea of how much."
Eunkwang put his arms around Minhyuk.
"I love you too," was this real?
Minhyuk lifted his head and looked at Eunkwang with a smile on his face. "You are an idiot." He said, Eunkwang couldn’t help but smile too, he was the biggest idiot in the world. He felt how Minhyuk suddenly put both his hands on his face and got closer.
When Minhyuk’s lips were on his he just couldn’t believe it, he closed his eyes and accepted the kiss. Minhyuk was caressing his cheeks at the same time and he felt like in a dream. He felt Minhyuk licking his lower lip and he opened his mouth to give the other the chance to deepen the kiss. How many times had he fantasized about this? None of his fantasies compared to the real thing.
When they finally ended the kiss, their lips were red and their breathing was heavy. They looked into each others eyes smiling, but Eunkwang suddenly remembered something.
"I’m really sorry." He had to apologize, Minhyuk looked a little puzzled, but let him talk. "For causing such a misunderstanding, if I had just been brave and said something earlier…"
Minhyuk laughed a little, Eunkwang thought he looked happy, and it made him feel happy too.
"I can’t really blame you, I was so afraid of confessing too."
"Why would you be afraid of confessing? As if there were someone who would actually reject you."
Minhyuk smiled softly, "you really have no idea of how much I love you."
Eunkwang felt his chest fill with warmth, this was definitely happiness.
"I guess we're the same then. You have no idea of how much I love you either."
They both laughed, and suddenly, Minhyuk looked at him, as if remembering something.
"You need to take a shower, why didn’t you take an umbrella with you? You could get a cold."
Eunkwang smiled, he was still hugging Minhyuk and he definitely didn’t want to let go, but it was true, he was very wet.
"I don't want to."
"I don’t want to let go either, but I don’t want you to get sick. Go take a shower, I need to change my shirt too, is all wet now. I’ll finish making dinner too."
They looked into each others eyes smiling, Eunkwang was totally staring at Minhyuk’s lips, and Minhyuk couldn’t resist, he went forward and kissed him again.
(Back to the day of the kiss incident)
Sungjae couldn’t believe what he had seen, Eunkwang had kissed Changsub. Wasn’t Changsub in love with him!? Why was Eunkwang kissing him?
"What the fuck!?" He blurted out before he could stop himself. Changsub immediately turned to look at him, he looked terrified for some reason, maybe because he was seen kissing someone else after he had confessed to him. He went out of Minhyuk’s and Eunkwang’s apartment and headed to his own. He was so pissed off he couldn’t think straight.
"Wait, Sungjae!" He heard Changsub calling him but he didn’t want to talk to him so he kept walking without looking back. He went for the stairs when he felt Changsub grab his hand. "I said wait! It’s not what you think! I can explain."
Sungjae shook his hand getting out of Changsub’s hold, he frowned deeply and said:
"You don’t owe me any explanations, is not like I care." Immediately after saying this he went down the stairs as quickly as he could.
Changsub didn’t understand what Sungjae was thinking, he followed behind and reached him when he was getting into their apartment. "Just listen to me!"
"There’s nothing to listen to! I don’t want to listen to you, it’s none of my business!" Sungjae got into the apartment with Changsub following behind, closing the door loudly after listening to what Sungjae said.
"How could it not be your business if you see your boyfriend being kissed by someone else!" Changsub blurted out and Sungjae thought he was going to die.
!Whose boyfriend!? I don’t remember ever getting a boyfriend!" Sungjae raised his voice seriously pissed, what was Changsub talking about?
"Drop the act already, I confessed and we kissed! Of course we are together now, you know you kissed me back!"
"I didn’t!" It was a lie, he knew he kissed back, he had wanted that kiss so much, but Changsub hadn’t even given him the chance to answer to his confession, how could he said they were together?
"Are you saying you don’t like me at all?" Changsub had a look on his face that Sungjae couldn’t decipher.
"I never said that!"
"Then why do you keep on saying that you don’t care?" Changsub went closer to Sungjae, "I’m really sorry about it, Sungjae, please, look at me."
Changsub was so close to him he could actually feel his warmth. Sungjae slowly turned his face and looked at Changsub.
Changsub smiled and put his hand on Sungjae’s cheek. "That’s good, now, I’m really sorry about what happened."
"I didn’t like it," said Sungjae, blushing. "I was really pissed off when I saw that, why would you kiss someone else when you confessed to me? I know he was the one who kissed you, but still…"
"Eunkwang didn’t really want to kiss me, he was in shock, cause he overheard Minhyuk talking about how he likes him, he tried kissing me just so Minhyuk would think he had misunderstood his feelings."
Sungjae opened his eyes wide.
"Is he stupid? Why would he do something like that when Minhyuk likes him so much?"
Changsub looked a little surprised by this, but said:
"I guess he was afraid of being rejected."
Sungjae put his hand over Changsub’s, that was still softly placed on his face. "You weren’t," he said.
"I wasn’t what? " Their voices had gotten really soft, it felt very intimate.
"You weren’t afraid of me rejecting you, you confessed and didn’t even gave me time to answer to your confession, you even kissed me without waiting to hear what I had to say."
Changsub left out a little laugh.
"You don’t remember?"
"Don’t remember what?" Sungjae was curious.
"You actually confessed to me first, that’s why I wasn’t afraid, I already knew you liked me."
Sungjae couldn’t believe what Changsub was saying, he did what?
"What are you talking about? I never confessed to you!" Sungjae crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow expecting Changsub to explain what he meant by that.
Changsub left a laugh out. He went to sit on the couch while still laughing, Sungjae followed him and sat a little further away than what Changsub would have liked.
"Do you remember what happened the night before I confessed to you?"
Sungjae tried remembering what had happened, but he couldn’t remember much.
"We were drinking, I think, but I can’t remember anything else."
"Well, you see, that night…"
It wasn’t unusual for Changsub and Sungjae to drink together, different to popular believing, they actually enjoyed each other’s company a lot. They just had a particular way of showing their affection, they fought a lot, and bullied each other a little, but they were actually pretty close.
But that night had been a little different, Sungjae had been on a weird mood and had had way more alcohol than usual. His face was completely red and he was just staring at Changsub weirdly.
Changsub was starting to feel uncomfortable by Sungjae’s intense stare, so he decided it had been enough alcohol.
"I think you are way too drunk. Maybe we should go to sleep already."
Sungjae didn’t stop looking at him, and Changsub wasn’t sober enough to deal with that. He wanted to just go and kiss the other so badly.
"Hyung," Sungjae started talking, "you are really beautiful."
"What!? Did the alcohol damage you brain?" Changsub felt his face go warm, and he knew it wasn’t because of the alcohol.
"Hyung, I really like you."
"Sungjae, what are you saying?" Was Changsub so drunk that he had started imagining things?
"I really like you, but I won’t tell you, never."
Sungjae was totally drunk, he was not making sense at all.
"But you just did!"
"No! I will never tell you, unless you tell me first."
But before Changsub could said anything Sungjae felt asleep completely.
"That never happened! You are just making it up!" Sungjae’s face was completely red.
"That’s why I decided to confess, I already knew how you felt, and I thought you remembered, that’s why I didn’t really wait to hear your answer."
"But then, why have you been acting as if nothing happened at all?"
Changsub scratched the back of his neck while explaining.
"You looked so flustered after I kissed you, I thought maybe you needed some time to process what had happened, I didn’t want to rush you, after all you confessed while drunk, I was just waiting for you to be comfortable with it."
"I’ll never drink again in my life." Changsub laughed at him, but moved to get closer to Sungjae, and slowly got his hand up and caressed his hair.
"I’m glad you did, I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to confess if that didn’t happen. I agree you shouldn’t get that drunk never again, though."
"So, you're really my boyfriend now, we have been actually together for two weeks without me knowing!"
"hehe, should we try and recover all that lost time," Changsub’s voice had gone really low again, and Sungjae felt shivers. He could feel Changsub getting closer to him, but right before their lips touched, Sungjae stoped him.
"Wait!" Changsub looked at him with a worried expression. "No! it’s not that I don’t want to kiss you, is just that, I still feel like I never got to answer your confession."
Changsub smiled and nodded to let the other know he was listening carefully.
"I really love you," he felt his face get warm.
"I love you too."
"Don’t ever, ever, kiss anyone else other than me," Sungjae got his hand to Changsub’s lips and rubbed with his sleeve, then, moved forward and pressed their lips together.
The kiss was nice, they were both smiling so much while kissing it felt weird, but they were so happy they finally were on the same page, it was the best kiss either of them had ever had.