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“Just fucking do it, Okuyasu!”

Keicho’s voice was yelling in his ear, hands huge on Okuyasu’s shoulders, gripping tight enough to bruise, tight enough to choke, fingers digging in.

“You useless fucking thing, just do it!

Okuyasu shook and shivered, right hand raised and a silvery-blue double shimmering beside it, hot tears spilling out of his eyes and making the bright stained glass of the attic blur.  His breath gagged in his throat around a terrified sob as he stared at the bloody, heaving monster on the ground in front of them.

Keicho twisted Okuyasu around, bending down so he could scream in Okuyasu’s face as he shook him hard enough to rattle his brain.  “Do you wanna starve? You know how much he fucking eats?! Do you want him to fucking eat you in your sleep?! ”  A wet gasp ripped out of Okuyasu’s throat, painful and terrified.

“I can’t, I can’t, he’s--”

“You think he won’t eat you just cuz you’re his little boy?” Keicho screamed, teeth bared, spit flecking Okuyasu’s face half an instant before his fist lashed out.  The world tripped and spun around pain and sharp black, and then Keicho was dragging him up off the floor and twisting him toward the wheezing thing that had been Dad, fingers digging in to Okuyasu’s wrist hard enough he cried out in pain.

“Please, please it hurts--” Okuyasu gasped, heart choking him, trying to tear free, but Keicho was too much bigger, always too much stronger, smarter, better, and he couldn’t even budge.

“Just fucking do it!” Keicho forced Okuyasu’s hand toward Dad, Dad was dragging himself up out of the blood, wheezing, shrieking and coming toward them, “Do it!” Okuyasu screamed, couldn’t tear away, couldn’t run, couldn’t breathe, blue blue blue “DO IT!!”  BLUE BLUE BLUE KICKING AND THRASHING AND BREathing and Jo suke had arms tight around Okuyasu’s middle, pinning him down in the dim light of his bedroom, and Okuyasu grabbed at him and buried his face against Josuke’s chest, sobbing, aching, shaking like he was gonna come apart, gasping for breath against his skin.

“You’re okay, fuck, okay, come on, you’re okay,” he could hear Josuke saying in harsh bits and snatches in the dark, fingers tight on Okuyasu’s back like he was trying to hold him together.  “It’s okay, I got you, we got you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I, I fucked up, I had to, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Okuyasu begged him, throat raw and thick and chest aching.  “I didn’t want to, I fuckin’ swear, I tried, I swear I fuckin’ tried, I’m sorry--”

Josuke’s hand was tight around the back of his neck, cradling him in close like he was a kid or something, and Okuyasu couldn’t get himself to pull away, just sobbed into his shoulder like a fucking baby there on the futon next to Josuke’s bed and couldn’t stop.  “I got you, we got you, you don’t gotta do anythin’, man, I got you. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Josuke just kept talking over him, harsh whispers as Okuyasu tried to stop fucking crying, tried to make himself want to let go, tried to breathe through the snot and tears he was leaving all over Josuke’s chest.  Hot shame burned his stomach and the back of his throat and he still couldn’t shut up and let go.

“I’m sorry,” Okuyasu finally managed to croak out, dragging one arm away from Josuke enough to jam it between them and wipe his nose on the back of his shivering wrist.  He pushed away from Josuke, but Josuke didn’t let him go, just dragged him back in against his chest, fingers tight against the back of Okuyasu’s neck. It took Okuyasu way too fucking long to realize Josuke was shaking just as bad as he was.  He could smell blood, just barely see a smear of it on Josuke’s collarbone. “Hey, you’re-- Did I--”

“Shut up, it’s whatever,” Josuke cut him off and jammed Okuyasu’s face right back against his shoulder.  He buried his nose in Okuyasu’s hair before wincing and shifting so his cheek was against the top of Okuyasu’s head.

“I’m sorry,” Okuyasu dragged out of himself miserably, back curled in guilt, shame choking him on how little he wanted to get out of where he was tucked half into Josuke’s fucking lap.

Josuke huffed a wet breath out against his hair.  Okuyasu could feel Josuke’s throat work against his temple, felt his jaw tense and move.  “You’re so fuckin’ good, man,” Josuke finally said. “You’re too fuckin’ good.”

“I ain’t,” Okuyasu said quiet.

“Fuck you, you don’t get to decide,” Josuke said and half-punched him in the back of his shoulder, arms still around him.  A shiver went up Okuyasu’s spine from the cool of the AC finally settling into his sweaty skin. “Fuck anybody who told you you ain’t.”  Josuke pushed his cheek down against Okuyasu’s head and just sat there while Okuyasu tried to sniffle snot back before it got all over him.


“I can take a shower,” Josuke said like that was all he was apologizing for.  Okuyasu tried to make himself want to get up, he really fucking did. He just stayed listening to Josuke’s heart thump-thumping quick under his ear instead, and felt like an asshole.  “Or whatever. We can clean the futon later or something,” Josuke’s voice came down, and Okuyasu just nodded against him. “Wanna skip class tomorrow?”

A ragged laugh dragged out of Okuyasu’s aching throat.  “Pro’ly shouldn’t. Math’n stuff.”

“I’ll call Koichi and get his notes.  Or we’ll drop out and run away to America to live with Jotaro,” Josuke said, and Okuyasu snorted another gross laugh.  “How much English do you know?”

“Not a fuckin’ lot.”

“Cool, me neither,” Josuke sounded like he was grinning, and it dragged the corners of Okuyasu’s mouth out too.

Okuyasu snorted another nasty bunch of snot back, and Josuke still didn’t let him go when he tried to pull away.  “I’m just gonna clean this shit up,” Okuyasu mumbled into the close dark in the circle of Josuke’s arms, and Josuke sort of slid his arms off slow, like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to.

They untangled themselves from the blanket and Josuke followed him when he climbed to his feet, and they tiptoed through the dark hallway and down to the bathroom without bothering to put anything on over their boxers.  They didn't have to be quiet, he guessed, since Josuke had said his mom was out tonight, but maybe she had come back or something. Better to not risk it.

Josuke swatted his hand away from the lightswitch in the bathroom - “You wanna burn my eyes out, man?” - and they stood with shoulders bumping in the bit of light that came in from the streetlamps outside, Okuyasu scrubbing the gross off his face while Josuke poked at his nose in the mirror.  Okuyasu wanted to see what he’d done, how bad he’d fucked up Josuke’s face, what he had to apologize for, but he couldn't even bring himself to even pick his head up. His own face was probably all puffy and red and nasty, and he didn’t want Josuke seeing that shit. So he just didn’t say anything, and Josuke didn’t say anything, and he was glad for the dark and Josuke going ahead of him as they snuck back down the hallway to Josuke’s room.

Okuyasu hesitated halfway across the bedroom floor, but before he could even figure out why Josuke turned and grabbed him around the middle with a grin and half-tackled him down onto his bed.  Something about the way it made the room spin made Okuyasu's heart kick up and he froze, and Josuke froze, and for a long minute they were just laying there half-sprawled together and Okuyasu didn’t know why his heart was in his fucking throat.

“Cool?” Josuke said from somewhere by his shoulder, voice weird and half-muffled by a pillow or the blanket or something.

“Yeah cool,” Okuyasu said up at the ceiling.  The AC unit in the window rattled on all loud, but instead of making his ears strain for the noises of the house it just sort of drowned out his brain.  Josuke’s sweaty weight against his side was almost the same steady feel of having a wall at his back, and all of a sudden it was like somebody cut a bunch of strings that had been all knotted around him, and Okuyasu’s breath came out easy.  “It’s cool.” They kicked and squirmed until they were all up on the bed, and it wasn’t a huge bed so it was whatever that their legs ended up half kicked-together and Josuke’s arm was still half across his chest.