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Somethings are better left unsaid

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Timothy Drake never imagined being in this position. But he is. He saw his little demon brat of a brother walk into a room in the west wing. Which is weird cause as far as he knows Alfred is the only one who even comes to this part of the Manor. As Tim got closer he could hear a.....piano? And was that singing? No. Impossible. He got closer to the door to get a better look and to properly hear. 

"..all talk is a great disguise just let me be just let me be...

Empty thoughts start to cloud my mind,am I only living,

living to survive? Shake it off but I lost my drive. Just let me be,just let me be

let me be okay."

Tim was at loss for words. He was captivated with the amount of emotion in the 14 year old's voice. He never thought it was possible for Damian to show any kind of emotion,but here he was. Playing piano and singing his heart out. Tim never thought Damian felt so....defeated,he sounded so...lost. He's never heard someone so young sound so deva- Tim's thoughts were cut short when he heard a noise from down the hall and turned to see his two older brothers' Dick and Jason.

"Hey Timmy where you bee-" Dick started but snapped his mouth shut as Tim shushed him before looking back in the room to make sure Damian hadn't heard. He hadn't. Good.

"Hush!" Tim hissed,he motioned them to come closer and to keep quiet "Listen" he whispered. The approaching heroes were confused but went along with the request.

"What's going on Timm-" Jason whispered just to get cut off by.....was that singing? Jason turned to Dick to see if he's hearing this as well. They both turn to Tim who in turn smirks at them. Tim,amused by his families confusion but more intrigued in his younger brother,turns back to listen to the music flowing through the slightly opened door.

"...o one knows what goes on up inside my head

There's a new kind of poison and its starting to spread.

No one knows what goes on up inside my head

they don't think I need help but i'm scaring myself...

I just want to be okay,I just want to be okay...."

Tim looked at his family wanting to know if they felt as guilty as him.Jason looked conflicted,like he wanted to go comfort his younger brother but he doesn't want Damian to stop playing. Jason knows that he hasn't been the most welcoming of the family but he didn't know Damian,his little brother felt this way,felt like a monster. Like him.

"All the voices in my head are coming to life.

They're getting louder and i'm,i'm terrified.

How do you run from your own mind?

Is this what I've become? Take it back,what have I done...?"

Dick didn't know how to feel. He feels sick that his baby brother felt like this. That he had to suffer in silence and especially that he didn't notice his baby brothers suffering. He didn't take into consideration what growing up with assassins did to your mental state. It was Jason and he still hasn't gotten over it. Imagine Damian,the league of shadows was all he has ever known. Dick couldn't begin to understand how this transition effected him emotionally and mentally. Oh god,how long has Damian felt like this? Since he came to live here? OH GOD! He was 12 when he came to live here! He's 14 now....two years. His baby brother has been suffering for two years. What king of brother was he? What kind of person was he?

"No one knows what goes on up inside my head

There's a new kind of poison and its starting to spread.

No one knows what goes on up inside my head

They don't think i need help but

I'm scaring myself....

I just want to be okay,I just want to be okay..."

And he really did. Damian wanted to be okay. Until he came here when he was 12 he thought beatings,screaming and locking your child in a small room was normal punishment. He's a good kid. He swears,it's just...he sees how his father is with his brothers and he just...doesn't get it. They aren't even his real kids but he loves them and treats them with respect. He didn't get it at first. How his mother's parenting and his father's parenting are so different. His mother craved power,but she realized that Damian is half Bruce and even if he was raised like an assassin he will always strive for justice. And then he got it....his mother never loved him. No one did....He wasn't supposed to be born,he was the product of a drugging. Nothing more,nothing less,but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"No one knows what goes on up inside my head.

There's a new kind of poison and its starting to spread.

But i didn't think the antidote was in my hands.

I can change my plans,I can change my plans.

I tried to find my reflection on the glass,

but all I ever saw was the things I lacked."

Damian was still a teenager. He has insecurities. He can't help,he knows that. He is a little older mentally after all.But yet here comes the worry he's not good enough. Or fast enough. He's not buff enough. Not skinny enough. Cause in this society,nothings ever enough. He's learning that the hard way.

"All the smudges on the mirror made me go insane.

All I ever though I was,was a mistake...

No one knows what goes on up inside my head.

there's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread.

No one knows what goes on up inside my head,up inside my head,up inside my head..."

Damian's hands rest upon the piano. He sighs knowing that his peace and quiet would need to end soon. His brothers' would start to wonder where he'd gone...well Dick would anyways. Tim probably didn't notice his absence and Jason just doesn't care. 'Mmmm,I wonder if I can sneak a keyboard into my room?' Damian thinks looking at his watch.

"I still have some time before Dick starts to fret...again. Maybe I can stay for awhile longer" and with that thought Damian sat up straighter,placed his slightly bruised hands upon the keys,and let the melody take him away.

Outside the door all three brothers made a pact,they will no longer belittle their youngest brother. But they didn't need to agree. Some things are better left unsaid.