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Eternal Return

Summary:

Minako needs anything, anyone to stay afloat as she saves the world time and time again. She gasps for air as she drowns but finds herself sinking, full of the love she stole from everybody's hearts. Fuuka can sense something is wrong.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

She could hear her phone ringing. It was Sunday, so she was sure somebody would ask her out on a date. Her S.Links were fine and all of her stats were maxed out (it’s convenient her body stays the same throughout all her journeys), so she’d just go with whoever called her first.

Looking at the caller, it was Fuuka. Minako was excited, she hadn’t usually gone on dates with her… It was nice that there were still a few things for her to discover.

They met outside the dorm, chatting about various things on the way to Chagall Cafe in Paulownia mall.

“H-hey, um… Um, I overheard this the other day… So I wanted to check with you. Minako-chan, is it true you’re ch-cheating on someone!?”

“Why do you ask now, all of a sudden? I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

Not really, anyway. Shinji can’t go on dates with her when he’s comatose in a hospital bed. She loves him, but they weren’t even together enough to become anything. (But overall, she’s done that same month so many times, in her mind, he is her lover.)

“Oh… Sorry, you’re right! I’m not making any sense, am I? Um, I have a favor to ask. I know it’s selfish of me to ask this, but… I want you to be faithful to whoever you’re with. O-of course, I believe that’s how you already are! But there are some people who don’t think so… Everyone loves rumours. They said so many things to me too, just because I went back to the dorm with Junpei-kun...”

Fuuka is smiling courageously. Minako wishes she could be like that too.

“Fuuka-chan, thanks for looking out for me. I’ll be so faithful, my boyfriend will be my god!”

“You don’t need to go that far....”

Minako’s lying, like always. She can’t be faithful. She needs people to live. She needs love, loving and being loved, in every way. It’s still not enough, even with all her S.Links maxed. Friendship isn’t enough. Whether they’re aware or not, Minako always loves Shinjiro, Akihiko, Ryoji, Theo and Aigis every time. Hidetoshi loves her, but she’s not interested. His love is weak, based on a fake mask she puts on. He doesn’t matter to her, besides his S.Link. Ken loves her, but his love is just a dependency he grew into after having everything taken away from him. It’s not filling. How could an elementary schoolers love be filling?

Sometimes she explores other romances, loves she never expected to have in any time, in any world. Loves between her and Yukari, Mitsuru, Rio, Saori, fleeting and flying far away. She thrives on anything new, anything she can gather. All the people she loves love her back. It’s inevitable, like the day and night. Like Shinji getting shot. Like Akihiko’s sister dying. Like the option to kill Ryoji. Like Theo’s constant naivety. Like Aigis’ eventual humanity.
Many years have passed for her, and in those years, Minako could not stop loving. It was only “to complete the story” at first, but she grew into their love, like a hand slipping into a glove.

The satisfaction of feeling people giving their all to her is almost enough to make her forget her mission, but there’s no way she can. Her life’s designed to make her suffer, and to cope, she’s been forced to live off of love. She needs the memories if she’s going to be stuck sealing Death for as long as the world wants it.

There’s no happy ending here.

“I’m sorry, Fuuka…”

“Huh? What did you say, Minako-chan?”

“Nothing. I’m just looking forward to the cakes we ordered!"

Notes:

sorry minako :p you're not escaping the time loop today. i wrote this 3 and a half years ago but i'm kinda inspired now after editing a little bit n posting so maybe expect a continuation one day? sorry, no promises !!! hope u enjoyed this short little drabble