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If I'd only known

Summary:

Castiel Novak has recently become a professor at Stanford, trying to escape his unfortunate past at Harvard, when he meets Sam Winchester, as law professor whom his office neighbours. Cas is almost starting to feel at home, when Sam's elder brother Dean, comes to town with no job, no money, and no place to stay.

A slow-burn, in which Cas is lonely and really appreciates and friendship he can find though he doesn't receive any from Dean, who appears to hate his guts (At first). Let's just say, they've both got a truckload of shit to work through before they can even dream of being good enough for one another. At first you could probably argue Cas had a crush on Sam, but personally, I think he's just really desperate for friendship.

Notes:

Just so you are aware, I'm British, and my only experience of Uni comes from the ones in the UK, so if the college/uni stuff seems like a weird mismatch of British and American education that's why. I thought about having the story take place in the UK, but the temptation of indulging in Stanford Professor Sam was too tempting to be passed up.

If you have any questions, feel free to post in the comments or whatever. I have about 10,000 words of this written so far, so I expect to be posting fairly regularly for the first few chapters, every 4 days or so, but that may change in the future.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: First day at Suck-Ford

Chapter Text

 

“It definitely isn’t in this building, ‘E’ is engineering.” She said flatly, pointing to the room number with her stiletto topped finger like she was explaining the alphabet to a child. 

 

Cas sighed and rubbed a hand down his face before dropping his hand back to his side again; much as he was frustrated he checked himself, reminding himself the receptionist was only doing her job, however poorly. “Yes, however, I’m a theology professor, I have no business in engineering.”  

 

This was Cas’ least favourite part of following work to a new college. He loved following the burgeoning research in his field, and meeting new colleagues with interesting ideas on previous theories, but becoming familiar with a whole new campus with new buildings, new offices and new students tired him. He wanted to find his office quickly and settle in out of the prying eyes of new students interested in who this new professor was and other academics not yet familiar with him or his work. “Besides I went to engineering, and they told me very plainly I was based over here instead. In my new office, E8.” He explained, exasperated. 

 

As he spoke, the doors behind him entering the building opened, with a gust of the cold breeze outside following it. The receptionist’s eyes shot up to look up, as Cas felt a presence behind him. 

 

“Professor Winchester, how are you today? How is Jess doing?” She chirped brightly, her demeanour having entirely switched from the impatient crone who had appeared to Cas. 

 

“She’s wonderful thank you Mary. Forgive me, you’re looking for E8?” The voice, deep but with a gleaming quality to it boomed, as Cas felt a tap on his shoulder.  

 

Cas spun around to face the man before him, however found himself at a loss when he had to crane his neck slightly up to see his face. Mr Winchester stood taller than Cas, taller than most men, but had a kind face, with wide excitable eyes, and straight brown hair to just above his massive shoulders. Cas supposed he was rather handsome. His brown blazer did little to hide his huge frame, the fabric appearing too tight in places. His tie, purple with small embossed yellow blobs- Pikachu's, Cas recognised, failed to match any of the muted browns he wore, standing out horrendously.  Cas found himself feeling oddly small next to this behemoth, squaring his shoulders slightly to account for his markedly thinner form.  

 

“Yes, but I’m afraid I am having some trouble finding it.” Cas remarked, throwing a sly look to the receptionist who was still beaming up at Professor Winchester. 

 

Professor Winchester raised a huge paw for Cas to shake, a wide grin spreading across his young face. “You must be Professor Novak! My office is just beside yours, I can show you to it, it’s just upstairs.” Cas noticed a slight red tinge rise in the receptionist’s face as she hurried with filling away some papers.  

 

“Please, call me Castiel, and that would be very helpful of  you.” Cas smiled, eager to find his new office, shaking Professor Winchester’s hand. He had a surprisingly pliant handshake, despite having such large hands.  

 

“Right this was, Castiel.” Professor Winchester withdrew his hand to point up the sprawling staircase which lay to the left of reception. They began heading up the staircase when Professor Winchester turned to Cas. “I’ve heard amazing things about your work within your old department, Harvard, if I’m not mistaken.” 

 

Ah yes, his work at Harvard. His chest swelled slightly with pride, thinking fondly of his old place of work. He’d once been a leader of his field, which largely revolved around the deities of eastern religions. His work was unrivalled, becoming a household name for academics quickly. He’d hosted seminars all over the world on his revolutionary theories. Departments around the country had started including his work within the mark-scheme, making awareness of his work an essential to gain one’s degree. Cas stopped himself. He had to stop thinking so fondly of Harvard and his work. Stanford was a new slate. A new chance to pull his names out of the gutter, now that his work had fallen out of favour. 

 

His career at Harvard was everything he had always wanted. The head of the theology department, Chuck, was an old friend of Cas’ and had made his job extremely comfortable, allowing him all the privacy he required to research in comfort. Cas had known that if he couldn’t complete a departmental report on his findings by a certain date or couldn’t attend a seminar he was invited to speak at, Chuck would argue his case and give him everything he needed to carry on working. And work he did, becoming arguably one of the world’s most influential experts in his field. 

 

However, on the eve of his fourth year within the department, Cas was told Chuck had transferred to a new institution overseas, and new management for the department came in. This was where Cas’ fall from grace began. Naomi, a cunning and dangerous woman from an English college took Chuck’s place. She despised Cas and his rule-breaking attitude. Cas had always been one to bend the rules. He’s overly generous in marking to allow his students to meet the next grade rather than fall just below it. He lends out his own personal copies of textbooks to student’s who couldn’t afford their own. On more than one occasion he accepted midterms handed in far past the due date on account of students’ circumstances. All of this was against protocol, Cas was more than aware, but he lived to see his students succeed and his field develop rather than stopping more than capable students in their tracks on account of a percentage under the pass mark or a late report. Naomi did not share his attitude.  

 

Naomi had despised Cas, or so he had thought. On a cold Tuesday morning, he was called into her office, in order to discuss a recent complaint. He’d allowed a student of his, Anna, to complete a trip required to graduate despite not paying. He had known what Anna had come from and why she couldn’t meet the £350 required to go. So he gave the green-light to allow her to attend the trip regardless. Naomi had been furious. She screamed bloody murder at Cas for failing to follow the rules and giving handouts. He stood and accepted the verbal beating until he was shocked to feel cold hands in his fair and dry, pouted lips pushing painfully against his own. He had pushed her off. Immediately she apologised, begging for forgiveness. She blamed her recent divorce. She was lonely, in desperate need of a friend. Cas sympathised with her and begrudgingly agreed not to tell anyone. He went on about his normal life, ignoring the uncomfortable interaction. That was until papers began disappearing from his office. His emails kept on being deleted from his inbox. He’d find reports he stayed up until day-break completing shredded. Rumours began spreading that Cas had forged the majority of his work. He wasn’t a visionary, just a fraud. Naomi planted seeds of doubts in his colleague's heads’. His papers stopped being published until an official investigation could be completed into the validity of his research. Overnight, he became shunned by his entire field. Naomi sacked him not long after. Cas didn’t know what he would have done if his old college friend, Balthazar, hadn’t put in a good word for him at Stanford and gotten him this position within the theology department as a professor. That’s how he came to find himself walking through Stanford with Professor Winchester, attempting desperately to memorise his route through the department to his new office, his new chance to wipe the slate clean. He hoped Stanford would be the new change he needed.  

 

Pulling himself out of his reverie, he reminded himself that Professor Winchester was probably expecting a response. 

 

“Ah, thank you. Apologies, when I reviewed the department’s staff I didn’t see your name, professor Winchester. Are you new to the department also?” Cas enquired, curious to see where this new professor fitted it within the department, and more importantly how much Cas would have to work at buttering him up to succeed here. 

 

Professor Winchester smiled, raising his eyebrows looking up ahead of the staircase to the dreary hallway that lied ahead of them. “Please, call me Sam. And no actually, I’m one of the Law departments’. But recently, I’ve been dabbling in theology and it’s relation to ethics within law, and the marrying of the two made me feel right at home here.” Sam explained. Cas was surprised by this, after all, switching between departments isn’t exactly common, though he decided not to pry.   

 

Continuing down the barren halls, lined with rows of identical dark oak doors, they made a left, then a right, and then finally, at the end of the hall, they came to a door labelled ‘E8’. 

 

“Excellent.” Cas breathed, relieved.  

 

Sam smiled brightly. “Home sweet home, I’m just beside in ‘E7’, so let me know if you need anything Cas."

 

“Of course.” Cas smiled back. Sam began to turn to his own office further down the hall when Cas called after him, “Oh and Sam? Thank you. For helping me find my office.” 

 

“No problem, I know the layout can get pretty…” He shook his hands either side of his head, “confusing.” With that he entered his own office, leaving Cas alone in the hall. He smiled to himself. It was rare, nowadays, that any of his colleagues would even speak to him, let alone show any semblance of warmth or kindness.  

  

He turned the golden knob of his office and pushed the heavy door open. His office was large, bigger than his Harvard office had ever been, even under Chuck’s reign. A large, dark desk sat in the centre of the room. The walls were lined with barren bookcases, which Cas looked forward to filling with his own collection. Behind the desk, a large gothic window allowed plenty of light to stream into the office. Cas took a sigh of relief. He might just like it here, after all, he thought.