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Shattered

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“Lovely view, don't you think?” Seraphiel didn't respond. “Well, of course you agree, you're the one who stormed out and decided to come here.”

 

“Please leave me alone.”

 

“Is that what you truly want?”

 

“I've been humiliated enough for this century, thank you.” She replied, sniffing. Her hair was pressed against an old wooden tree, with her eyes fixated on some point in the distance. “I just want to be in silence.”

 

“I can do that.” 

 

Crowley sat down beside her, and frowned at the sight of her reddened eyes and nose. The tears gave a beautiful yet very sad glow to her cheeks. 

 

An ant tried to climb into his shoe, but he shoved it off. In front of him, miles of almost uninterrupted field extended, bathed in sunlight. A few morning birds chirped, but the sound felt so distant that it was just white noise to the quiet of their spot.

 

The silence didn't last, though.

 

“How'd you even escape the dungeon?”

 

"It wasn't hard. The demon trap got damaged the last time I was there, and it hasn't been working since."

 

"Why didn't you leave before, then?'

 

"Eh, I guess I was waiting for the right moment," Crowley sighed. "Thanks for that, by the way."

 

"Pleasure." She replied, nonchalantly. "And you just knew where I was?"

 

“You mentioned in your journal that you used to come here. I assumed-...”

 

“You read that?” Crowley didn't reply, and Sera looked away. The answer was obvious, but that was not what she was really asking. Answering that would imply that the demon had been paying more attention to her than strictly necessary, which considering recent events might not be the ideal subject for a conversation. “I know what you must be thinking.”

 

“Do you, now?”

 

She truly didn't, she realized. She didn't know anything anymore. But even not knowing, she felt the need to clarify where she stood.

 

“I'm not going to betray the Winchester's trust, even if they betrayed mine.”

 

The demon held in a laugh.

 

“If I wanted to get information, I would send someone to spy on them, darling. They're really bad at keeping secrets, as you could see.”

 

She sighed.

 

“Are you done making fun of me? I feel stupid enough.”

 

“What's there to be stupid about?” The demon replied instantly, like he truly didn't understand what she was talking about. “They are your friends, you're supposed to trust them. Isn't that how that works?”

 

“They're not my friends anymore.”

 

“Why's that?”

 

They lied to me and made me feel unlovable and stupid and naïve , she wanted to say. Instead, she muttered, “You know why.”

 

“Yes, I do,” he sighed, and then added, surprised at the words that were leaving his mouth, “But I do know why they did what they did, too.”

 

“I'm not an object,” she restated. Unbelievable how, after millennia of talking that sentence into her DNA, a couple of humans can make her feel just like she did the very first time she set a foot on Earth. “I'm not a weapon.”

 

“No, you're not. But you're kind, and sweet, and caring, and you act like you only see the good in people.” Sera turned to see him, the words resonating in her head. “And they think I'd try to take advantage of that. It's not their fault, really, I've given them more than enough reasons to...”

 

'Act’ ?”

 

“Uh?”

 

“You said ‘you act like you can only see the good in people’. What do you mean?”

 

It took him a moment to recall his own words. 

 

“It means, that if you were truly incapable of seeing people for what they are, you wouldn't have lasted so long, dear.” She avoided his eyes again, looking at anything except at him, and he did the same. “It is admirable, however, that you continue to look for something you can respect on every person.”

 

“I don't see good on everything,” she argued, “What they did-... It-... I don't see any good on lying.”

 

“And you shouldn't, really. But that's not what I said, is it? Their intentions were good, and deep down, you respect that.”

 

“Impact overrules intention.”

 

“Still, that doesn't change the fact that they thought they were doing you a favor.”

 

“Crowley.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I said... Things , to you.”

 

“I recall.”

 

“...I'm sorry.”

 

“No need, darling. I understand.”

 

“I didn't mean them.”

 

“You don't have to lie to me, I can take it.”

 

“I don't lie. Dean said that you-...” Sera took a deep breath, and started again. “My pride was hurt. And when I tried to make you hurt like I was hurting, I realized I knew exactly what things to say, and the fact that I knew that, that I had allowed myself to get to know you like that- It made me feel even worse. It's not an excuse, I'm not trying to justify, but... It's the truth.”

 

“You do owe me that...” Trailed off the demon. “Come on. Part of the deal was that I got to pick the location. I mean no disrespect, but this isn't exactly my choice of scenery.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“You'll see.”

 


 

“Crowley,” she called. The demon looked up to see her, interested. She felt embarrassed suddenly- Even more than before. “I know I said we'd go where you wanted, but...”

 

“You don't like it here?”

 

“No, I do, it's just-” Her hand gestured at herself discreetly. “I'm kind of out of place.”

 

The restaurant was five stars, and every single person in there had a net worth of over seven figures, at the very least. 

 

It’s not like she was poor (she was very much the opposite), but her money had accumulated precisely because she didn’t put it to use.

 

“Why do you think that?”

 

She frowned. “This fork alone is more expensive than everything I'm wearing right now, combined.”

 

A low, deep chuckle came out of Crowley's throat.

 

“And?” The tone near exasperated Sera, but he continued before she could complain, “You are, by far, the most gracious person in here. Not to mention that you exude class in every gesture.”

 

Her body tensed at the compliment, embarrassment sending a chill down her spine. She took a calming breath before opening her mouth again.

 

“You seem to be the only one to think that way.”

 

“It's not your fault they're jealous, love.”

 

A waiter came by with two big leather menus. By his accent, Sera figured out they were in England.

 

Noticing how lost she looked as she flipped through the pages, he smiled softly.

 

"Want me to order for you?"

 

"That'd be nice, thank you."

 

But by the time she closed her menu and looked up, his smile was gone and replaced by his signature smirk.

 

The smug gesture didn’t fool Sera, it hadn’t for a long time now and he was well aware of that, but he pretended not to know and she pretended that it did, and then the waiter left with their order and they were left in silence.

 

Sera looked around, in a successful attempt to avoid his eyes.

 

What was she supposed to do now, she asked herself. He wanted the truth, and she'd promised to give it. And even when her friends had warned her, she wasn't worried. Maybe she should be? Crowley wouldn't-...

 

But wouldn't he? 

 

She looked at him again, to find him looking somewhere else. Wouldn't he?

 

The waiter came back in record timing with their food, ande once he'd left, Sera knew that whatever was going to happen, it would happen now.

 

She took a deep breath. If he was going to prove her friends right, the time was now.

 

She'd leave this restaurant knowing if she owed them an apology, or if it was the other way around.