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Gay Van Buren

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     Gay Van Buren had not started out of nowhere.


     Shay had heard the name get thrown around multiple times by multiple people around her, but in reality, nobody knew where they had gotten the whole “Gay Van Buren” thing from, and most thought it was just a game of rhymes.


     At least, nobody else but Mackenzie Zales.



     Mackenzie Zales and her stupid fucking face and her impossible goddamn attitude and their awful, terrible, no good decision of fucking sharing saliva after Mack’s fucking one functioning neuron short circuited in the middle of the school day. 


     In their defense, (more specifically, Shay’s) they hadn’t exactly planned out to make out in a closet, but Mackenzie had fucked up something and needed an immediate cover up, and so decided the best idea was to pull the nearest person into the closet, kiss them, and pretend thats all she had been doing for the past ten minutes so she could get out of whatever clusterfuck she had caused.


     It just so happened that the nearest person to grab had been sworn enemy Shay Van fucking Buren.


     Again, Shay had not had a lot of say in the situation, since she was only innocently making her way down the hallway and the next thing she knew, she was in a dark closet with Mackenzie’s tongue halfway down her throat. She squirmed briefly, but the other girl’s hands were tightly holding her by her dress, so instead her eyes shut close and hey, if she kissed back after that, that was nobody’s fucking business. Plus, this was Mackenzie, sworn nemesis, and god forbid she lost whatever tongue battle they had going on to her of all people. So, she grabbed the other girl by the hips and jousted in retaliation.

     The door quickly opened and both girls pulled away from each other to look at a very disturbed Jamaican janitor, who did not comment on the sight and proceeded to go on his merry way to the nearest other closet he could get his stuff at.

     Silence reigned amongst both girls; Shay had gone bright red and hives had started to appear around her neck because of the sudden stress. Mackenzie, however, although red as well, seemed unfazed and looked accusingly at the girl she had been kissing moments ago.


     “You kissed me.”


     Shay frowned, “You kissed me first!”


     Both went silent for another moment, before Mackenzie got out of the janitor’s closet and fixed her lipgloss to look less messy. Shay was too busy trying to not think of the cherry aftertaste in her tongue.

     With a last click of her small, portable mirror, Mackenzie Zales looked back at Shay and grinned with every ounce of mean girl she had in her body.

     “Now that’s a surprise, Gay Van Buren.”


     Almost as if summoned by the promise of a victim sacrifice, Brittnay, the demon spawn Mackenzie called a friend and her other minion seemed to materialize out of thin air, the first one giggling at the new name.

     “Fuck, thats so good Mack, see ya fucking later Gay Van Buren, you piece of shit bitch.” and with the worst laugh a human person in the face of earth could muster from their insides, she walked away followed closely by Trisha, who briefly giggling to herself with a soft “Hehe, Gay Van Buren! Because it rhymes! I get it!”, before following.


      Mackenzie snorted and turned around on her heels to follow the other two. “See ya’ later, Gay.”


     “T-That’s not my fucking name!” Shay yelled after them, but it proved useless as they were gone within mere seconds. Not more than a minute later, she received a text from McKenzie herself.


     I won’t say if you won’t say.


     Also, not fucking bad, cunt.


     Shay’s ears became hot at the implication and was quick to text back.


     shut up, balloon fucker.


     That was one time!


     sure, anyway yeah, no tellsies


     Okay, you five year old.


     shut up!


     Shay stared at her phone for a few more moments before writing again.


     see u in the east hallway closet @ lunch ?




     and what about it


     Fine. See u @ lunch.


     Shay grinned to herself and was quick to open up another chat with the only person she thought could have this knowledge available to them currently.


     hey matthew




     what do you know about eating pussy?