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Glorified PA @StarkIntern

He told me explicitly to Not make a twitter account, so I waited until he was asleep to make a twitter account. Fight me @TStark

 

{image attached: Tony Stark, leaning back in his chair with his head thrown back, asleep, cuddling an iron man helmet to his chest and drool trailing from his open mouth}

 

1M comments 1.4M retweets 3.2M likes

 


 

Becka @StarkStan

Yo is @StarkIntern legit? Like, that's a cool pic of Tony and all but, photoshop is a thing so? #whoisstarkintern

 


 

Buzzfeed @BuzzfeedOfficial ✔

We take on the mystery of whether or not @StarkIntern is the real deal, the results will shock you!!

 

www.buzzfeed.com/article/social/is-@starkintern-for-real-?/

 

3.1M comments 2.3M retweets 6M likes

 


 

Is @StarkIntern For Real?

Buzzfeed Article Written by: Angela Flint

 

Ever since the tweet was posted a few hours ago, the question on anyone who actively follows Tony Stark's mind is this:

Is @StarkIntern legit?

The thought that it is just a joke account has crossed many minds, but those theories are quickly brought to a close when faced with seemingly the most important part of this tweet, the picture .

As you know if you have seen it, the tweet consisted of two important parts. The message, which stated not only that @StarkIntern going against direct orders in making the account, but issued a challenge to Tony Stark himself, and the picture. The picture itself was simple enough, it was only Stark sleeping in a chair in what looked to be his lab, one of his helmets curled to his chest. It seemed the type of picture that had probably been posted before, by Stark's fiance Pepper Potts or best friend James "Rhodey" Rhodes, or even one of the other Avengers before they went rogue, so it should've been an easy enough picture to find and claim, right?

But it's not.

People have been scouring the internet for hours looking for an instance where that picture had been posted before, but it hasn't. It is a never-before-seen image of the billionaire.

Which leaves us with a few options.

  1. Photoshop 

If it is Photoshop, whoever did it did a hell of a job. The picture is so lifelike, however, that this theory is almost entirely implausible, and has been dropped by most, though there is a select few still holding onto it.

        2. Hacks

This theory, while still highly unlikely, is the admittedly more plausible of the two. The theory is that a very talented individual hacked into either Rhodes or Potts' phones, found the picture, and decided to fuck with us all. There are many things that go against this theory, however, the first being the timeframe of the photo.

The tweet was posted around 2am today. If you analyze the picture like many have, there is a clock visible on Stark's desk that states the time is 1:45am. So, the time matches up. Additionally, you'd also see by looking at the picture, that Stark is wearing a grease-stained dress shirt and black slacks, and that there is a navy suit jacket slung over the back of the chair. These details would be insignificant, unless you remember that there was a Charity Gala around 7pm yesterday which Stark attended in that exact outfit, minus the grease stains.

The last little detail that derails the #HackerTheory is a noticeable lack of Avengers items in the room, as well as the plentiful amount of Iron and Spiderman items.

It's no secret that after the ordeal with the Accords much of Team Stark hasn't been a fan of the Rouge Avengers. We do not know all of what went down, but the way that both Stark and Rhodes came back on stretchers said enough. Throughout the year since the events, whenever we saw glimpses of Stark's lab, there has been a decreasing number of items from the ex-Avengers present. Replacing those items seemed to be more and more Spider-themed weapons, as well as various webs.

We assume that Stark met Queen's buggy vigilante during the events of the Accords, as ever since then we have seen the two interacting. It wasn't until after the Vulture Attacks that we started seeing Spiderman swing to and from the penthouse of Stark Tower, signaling that the two heroes had started working together more.

Since then we have seen less of Stark's lab, likely to keep the two's work together private, but whenever we did there was always at least one or two Avengers items in the background. The fact that in The Picture there was none , states that this picture is very recent.

So, that leaves us at our conclusion.

        3. It's Legit

It seems that this twitter account is who they say they are, the @StarkIntern. Why we are just hearing about this now, I don't know. It may be a PR stunt, it may be a PR nightmare, but whatever it is, it's going to be interesting to watch.

Now, only one question remains:

Who is @StarkIntern?

 


 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

Wow, thanks @BuzzfeedOfficial for confirming I am, in fact, a real person! You're doing great, sweatie!

 

Dat Boi @ohshitwaddup

@StarkIntern Wait so, you're legit? You're not just fucking with us for laughs?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@ohshitwaddup Why would I do that? It sounds mean! Plus I get enough enjoyment from fucking with @TStark

 


 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

Some of you seemed concerned about Mr. Stark being cold, so I got him a blanket! Now he's nice and toasty! :)

 

{image attached: Tony Stark in the same position as before, but now without the helmet and a blanket has been draped over him. It is noticeably lighter in the room}

 


 

Rhodey @JRRhodes ✔

@StarkIntern Kid, what are you doing?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@JRRhodes Hi Mr. Colonel James Rhodes sir! What do you mean what am I doing? I'm just tweeting!

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes ✔

@StarkIntern Even though Tony told you not to?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@JRRhodes Mr. Stark only told me not to cause he thought I'd reveal classified information! But I'm not doing that! So far I've only tweeted about him sleeping and me being a real person!

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes ✔

@StarkIntern Kid…

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@JRRhodes Don't worry Mr. Colonel James Rhodes sir! I'm having FRIDAY monitor all of my tweets to make sure I don't tweet anything classified!

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes ✔

@StarkIntern Alright kid, and for the last time, call me Rhodey.

 


 

Syyyyyyd @SydNKid

Okay, but "Mr. Colonel James Rhodes sir"? This kid is adorable and must be protected #whoisstarkintern

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@SydNKid Seriously!! I have only had @StarkIntern for a day but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this website and then myself #whoisstarkintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@DannyBoi Plz don't :/ I don't wanna be responsible for a mass genocide yet

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@StarkIntern Behfkendkebdb yeah okAY

 



It's a Avocado! @frEshAvaCadO

Guys! Rhodey talked to them! Stark's best friend! He knows them! That above all else proves that @StarkIntern is the real deal!!!! Take that #hackertheory !!!! #whoisstarkintern

 


 

 

Pepper @VPPotts

Why did I wake up to 20 emails from the PR department @StarkIntern ??

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@VPPotts Miss Potts! Sorry, I wanted to mess with Mr. Stark, not you :(

 

Pepper @VPPotts

@StarkIntern It's alright, honey, just ask me before you do something like this again, alright?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@VPPotts Yes ma'am Miss Potts! Does that mean I can keep it?

 

Pepper @VPPotts

@StarkIntern Yes, that means you can keep it, as long as you don't post anything the public isn't supposed to know

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@VPPotts Don't worry! FRIDAY is making sure I don't post anything confidential!

 

Pepper @VPPotts

@StarkIntern Then it's fine with me, honey, and by the way, if anyone is the "Glorified PA" it's me

 



Stark Industries @SIOfficial

Regarding the questions going around, Stark Industries would like to state that @StarkIntern is Tony Stark's personal intern (1/?)

 

Stark Industries @SIOfficial

As such, they are protected by the @SILegalTeam and any attempt to invade their personal privacy to figure out their identity will be met with legal action (2/?)

 

Stark Industries @SIOfficial

That being said there will be an official QnA with them in due time so they can tell you more about themselves (3/3)

 

12M comments 8M retweets 14M likes

 



Glorified PA @StarkIntern

Look guys! I got one of those check-thingies!!!

 

4.5M comments 6M retweets 8.2M likes

 


 

Ironman @TStark ✔

Kid.

 




Ambuh @Boof

Yo its so Ominous™ how Stark literally tweeted "Kid." and yet we All Know who he's talking to/about

 

Boof @Ambuh

@Boof Yikes rip in piece @StarkIntern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern ✔

@Ambuh :*(

 



Ironman @TStark ✔

Kid.

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark Yes Mr. Stark? :)

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern What did I tell you?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark S I G H. Not to make a Twitter account?

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern And instead what did you do?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark … make a Twitter account? But Miss Potts said it was okay! And like I told her and Mr. Colonel James Rhodes I have FRIDAY making sure I don't tweet something I'm not supposed to!

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern 1) Why the hell did you type all of that out? 2) if Pep says it's fine I can't stop you

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark YAY!!! Thanks Mr. Stark!!! :D

 


 

It's a Avacado! @frEshAvaCadO

Am I the only one who got S E R I O U S Dad™ vibes from all of that?

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@frEshAvaCadO YES, the Dad™ vibes during that entire conversations were like sjdbdjsndjjd whAT #irondad

 

Boof @Ambuh

@DannyBoi #irondad YES I LOVE IT

 

Ambuh @Boof

@Ambuh #irondad

 


 

Trending on Twitter

 

#irondad - 14M tweets

# whoisstarkintern - 16.4M tweets

# hackertheory - 4M tweets

Chapter Text

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

Hey guys! I'll be available all day to answer any questions you may have, so ask away using #asktheintern

 


 

Ironman @TStark

Pep are you sure about letting the kid do this? @VPPotts

 

Pepper @VPPotts

@TStark He knows what he's not allowed to say, Tony, and he has FRIDAY monitoring, he'll be fine

 

Ironman @TStark

@VPPotts I know, he's gonna do great, I just, I worry

 

Pepper @VPPotts

@TStark I know you do, honey #irondad

 


 

Becka @StarkStan

Hey kid, how old are you? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkStan Unfortunately I'm not able to answer that, but! I can tell you my age is somewhere between 10 and 639

 

Becka @StarkStan

@StarkIntern Damn, so I'm not talking to a genetically altered super-baby?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkStan Depends on who you ask, lol

 


 

Ambuh @Boof

Can we at least know your name? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Boof My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to Die

 

Ambuh @Boof

@StarkIntern Nice

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

So I just stubbed my toe on a coffee table!! :D Time to yeet myself into the void!!

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BeterBarker Pete no, we have an AP Hist test tomorrow

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay ✔

@BeterBarker If you think I'm gonna let your grades slip when you're the AcaDec Team's best Chem Wiz you are dead wrong, Parker

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@Leedster @EmJay Fine, guess no meeting myself into the void today :/

 


 

Damn Daniel @Dannyboi

How did you meet Stark? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Dannyboi Uhhhhhh @TStark can I answer this??

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Yes kid, you can answer that

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark YAY! Okay, so, Mr. Stark was looking for "enhanced individuals" and found a YouTube video of Spider-Man catching a bus in his hands?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkIntern And so he tracked down Spidey and Spidey introduced him to me cause I make all his webs n shooters n stuff!

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkIntern So Mr. Stark said he wanted to help me help Spidey so he gave me an internship now we work together on Spider-Man and Ironman stuff!

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkIntern Uh @TStark was that a good explanation?

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Couldn't have said it better myself, kid

 


 

Spyder @Hannahhhh

You know Spidey!? And make his webs!? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Hannahhhh Yeah! I can't tell you how I did either for legal reasons, but I do!

 


 

Dicky @WTFRichard

So how long have you known Stark, then? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@WTFRichard (I love the name) Basically since right before/during the Accords thing! And before any of you guys ask, no I didn't meet any of the Rouge Avengers

 


 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

Hey Penis did you see the #whoisstarkintern stuff going on? Bet if I ask they won't know who the fuck you are! @BeterBarker

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@FlashT Go for it, Flash

 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

@BeterBarker I will

 


 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

Hey do you know anybody by the name of Peter Parker? #asktheintern

 


 

IronMom

 

Would it be alright if I told them I was an intern too?

It might be some more PR drama but…

There's a guy that's bugging me about it…

 

It's fine honey, I saw the tweets

Go ahead and tell them you're also an intern under Tony

 

Thanks so much, Miss Potts! 

You're the best!!

 

I know, sweetie

And I've told you, call me Pepper

 


 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

Hey do you know anybody by the name of Peter Parker? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@FlashT Yeah, actually! He's the only other intern under Mr. Stark! We hang out a lot actually because of it! Why, do you know him?

 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

@StarkIntern Wait, so he wasn't lying about working for Stark?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@FlashT Why would he lie? The Peter I know hates attention.

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@StarkIntern Told you Flash!

 


 

It's a Avacado! @frEshAvacAdo

So if you've known Stark since the Accords you must be pretty close, why do you still call him Mr. Stark?? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@frEshAvacAdo There are actually two reasons for that! 1) Respect and 2) To annoy him!

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Kid, really?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark And I oop-

 



IronDad

 

Kid, is that really the reason?

 

I mean yeah?

It's mostly the respect thing

But I do like teasing you

 

Well, I know you respect me

But I'll let you drop it when you're ready to

Alright?

 

Okay Mr. Stark

Thanks

 

No problem, kid

 


 

Angela @AGFlint

What was your opinion on the Accords, if you don't mind my asking?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@AGFlint Oh! Uh, I had more info on it than others because I was closer to it, but honestly… I think the whole fight was sorta dumb?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkIntern Like, yeah the Accords were bad at first, but they were trying to get them changed? And I get wanting to protect your best friend, but there were better ways to do that?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkIntern So yeah, that's my opinion, I guess…

 


 

Boof @Ambuh

So, as we can tell by your dialect and meme references, you are at least familiar with Gen Z humor, so, favorite vine? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Ambuh :)

 

https://youtu.be/du-TY1GUFGk

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Again I ask: kid, really?

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@StarkIntern Bro I'm wheezing

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@StarkIntern Of course it is

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

@StarkIntern I hate to admit it but I saw that coming

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark @GuyITC @EmJay @JRRhodes :)

 


 

Angel @StarkInternStan

Are you aware of just how adorable you are? #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@StarkInternStan Hsbejnsksndjjfj I guess so????

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Now look what you did, you broke him

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark Hejejrjeksnskms

 


 

Nya Bitch @KatCat

WAS THAT A KEYSMASH I SMELLED? INTERN SAID GAY RIGHTS!! (Also may I ask your pronouns?) #asktheintern

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@KatCat GAY RIGHTS!!! (my pronouns are he/him uwu)

 

Nya Bitch @KatCat

@StarkIntern uwu

 


 

Lucky @Ladyy

So, what exactly should we call you? #asktheintern

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

@Ladyy Just call him Mini Stark, that's what the rest of us do

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@JRRhodes Mr. Colonel James Rhodes sir NO

 

Lucky @Ladyy

@StarkIntern Mr. Colonel James Rhodes sir YES! Mini Stark sounds so cute omgg

 


 

Mattaye @Matteoooo

So why don't you want to reveal yourself? You'd probably be hella popular #asktheintern 

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Matteoooo That's sorta why? I don't like attention, and if I told everyone who I am I'd get a lot of it

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern In other words, he's super shy and insanely humble

 


 

The Mechanic

 

So Stark

When do I get to meet him?

 

Who?

 

The Intern boy

 

You'll get to meet Peter soon enough kid

Keep your pants on

 

So it is Peter?

Good

I would've been upset otherwise

 

Why?

 

That you didn't tell me!

Cause we tell each other everything

Obviously

 

For one, I don't tell you everything

There are things I keep from you

 

Like what?

 

Spiderman

 

True

 



Glorified PA @StarkIntern

That's all the questions I'm going to answer today, unfortunately, but this was fun! I may try to convince Mr. Stark to let me do it again!

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern No

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark Awwwwww :(

 

Ironman @TStark

@StarkIntern Fine, maybe

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@TStark Yaaaaay!!! :D

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

@TStark Whipped #irondad

 



Trending on Twitter

 

# irondad - 12.5M Tweets

# whoisstarkintern - 8.5M Tweets

# asktheintern - 10.7M Tweets

Chapter Text

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Shsisjskdbksbdjsheejbdje

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BeterBarker Just let it out, bro

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC Hekenekdnskdnkddkekd

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@GuyITC What's Parker's problem now?

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@EmJay The Andi Mack finale

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@GuyITC Ah #peterisadork

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

I'm just??? So??? Happy??? (1/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Cause like, positive LGBTQ+ rep!! In a kid's show!! It's so progressive and wonderful!!!!! (2/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Not only that! But it wasn't something just shoved into the show at the last minute (coughcough VLD coughcough) but like, it was planned! It had depth!!! (3/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Heck, TJ was one of the antagonists before! Now look at him! And most of that is thanks to Cyrus!! (4/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

And I know it wasn't Explicitly Stated™ but everyone already knows what's up, you don't hold hands and stare dreamily at your BRO for two whole minutes unless you're at least a little gay (5/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Aside from Tyrus tho, Muffy! They met at a party and got together at a party! That's great!!! And Bex and Bowie!! Awesome parents 10/10 (6/?)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

And Andi is single! Cause she don't need no man! And she sees that!! And she got into the school! Girl is moving UP!! (7/8)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

All in all, I'd say the show was 18/10!!! Very good very gay!! (8/8)

 


 

Abe is Bae @AbruhhamLicoln

So Peter really just Went Off™ about a TV show, then? 

 

GM Midtown Hiiiigh @BityBetty

@AbruhhamLicoln Yep

 

Sindy @LoonyMoony

@AbruhhamLicoln Yeah

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@AbruhhamLicoln Pretty much

 

Abe is Bae @AbruhhamLicoln

@BityBetty @LoonyMoony @EmJay Okay but like, why?

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@AbruhhamLicoln Because the show was cancelled and the finale, obviously, was very emotional for him, because the show had very positive queer representation, which is very important to him

 

Abe is Bae @AbruhhamLicoln

@EmJay Ah, makes sense

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@AbruhhamLicoln Also cause #peterisadork

 

Abe is Bae @AbruhhamLicoln

@EmJay Also valid #peterisadork

 

GM Midtown Hiiiigh @BityBetty

@EmJay You're not wrong #peterisadork

 

Sindy @LoonyMoony

@EmJay Yep #peterisadork

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Cause like, positive LGBTQ+ rep!! In a kid's show!! It's so progressive and wonderful!!!!! (2/8)

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@BeterBarker ^^^

 

Syyyyyyyyd @SydNKid

@StarkIntern That show is disgusting I don't understand how it is a kid's show or how you could support it

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@SydNKid Ummm :/ it'd be pretty hypocritical if I didn't

 

Syyyyyyyyd @SydNKid

@StarkIntern Ugh, you're a part of that "community"?

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@SydNKid Blocked :)

 


 

Nya Bitch @KatCat

SISTER SNAPPED!! Mini Stark has NO MERCY FOR HOMOPHOBES!!

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@KatCat Junior went right out and BLOCKED a bitch I stan a L E G E N D

 

Nya Bitch @KatCat

@DannyBoi Junior!! I love it!!!

 


 

Ambuh @Boof

Hey @StarkIntern ! Mini Stark! Junior! Boyo! What is your LGBTQ+ letter if you don't mind me asking!

 

Glorified PA @StarkIntern

@Boof It's not my Only letter but… B uwu

 

Boof @Ambuh

@StarkIntern bitchmetoothefuck.gif

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

W-why is baking so Hard™

 

Ironman @TStark

@BeterBarker Kid, it's not rocket science

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark Yeah I know! Cause I can do that!

 

Ironman @TStark

@BeterBarker Who even let you near an oven?

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark You did

 

Ironman @TStark

@BeterBarker Wait you're in the tower? Oh fu

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@TStark Peter blew up the kitchen before he finished #peterisadork 

 


 

GM Midtown Hiiiigh @BityBetty

Wait wait, Peter knows rocket science??

 

Abe is Bae @AbruhhamLicoln

@BityBetty Peter just blew up The Tony Stark's kitchen and That is what is you're focusing on?

 

Sindy @LoonyMoony

@AbruhhamLicoln We already established the fact that Peter knows Tony Stark, so yeah

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BityBetty Yeah! Peter helps Mr. Stark with a lot of his suit stuff so he knows quite a bit of rocket science at this point

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@GuyITC And yet he uses this knowledge to reverse engineer a roomba so it can fly #peterisadork

 


 

Junior @StarkIntern

Hey @GuyITC

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@StarkIntern Yeeees my good buddy?

 

Junior @StarkIntern

@GuyITC Change it back

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@StarkIntern Never

 


 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

Considering the fact that now we have established @BeterBarker knows Tony, I have no reason to hesitate in sharing this video #peterisadork #irondad

[video.mov]

 


 

The video appears to be some security footage from inside Stark's lab. The camera is sitting facing where Tony and Peter are working on one of the suits.

The recording is just them working silently together for a few moments before Peter glances over to Tony and begins talking.

"Hey so, do you think aliens are real?"

Tony stops working for a second, surprised and confused, before continuing, "Pete, you've met aliens before, hell, Thor is an alien. Yes I believe in them."

Peter hums, "Yeah but, do you believe the government is keeping aliens in Area 51? Cause like, there's an entire thing going on online where people are planning to meet up and raid it because "they can't catch all of us" and I wanted to know what you thought of it."

Tony leaned back and crossed his arms, "Well, I never checked, but I suppose we can go take a look…"

Peter looked over at his mentor, confused, "W-what? What are you talking about?"

Tony only raised an eyebrow, "I own Area 51, didn't you know this? I thought it was public knowledge..."

Peter's jaw dropped, as well as the welding torch he was holding, and he sat there, starting at his mentor in shock, for several minutes. Tony was almost starting to get worried when suddenly Peter lurched forward, putting both hands on his mentor's shoulders.

"Mr. Stark, can we please go visit Area 51 this weekend?"

Tony chuckled, ruffling the boys hair as he pushed him off, "Yeah sure, we can even bring Ted and Michelle if you want."

"YESOMG!!" Peter quickly dove forward to squeeze Stark in a hug before bolting off, rapidly typing on his phone, "NedandMJaregonnabesofuckingexcited!"

"Language!" Tony called jokingly at the teenager's retreating back, chuckling to himself as he watched the boy go fondly.

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@JRRhodes Mr. Rhodeyyyy ;-;

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

@BeterBarker Sorry kid, I had to

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

Wait why do I suddenly have 2 million followers???

 


 

Boof @Ambuh

Okay but, Peter? Is so cute???

 

Ambuh @Boof

@Ambuh Babe :*(

 

Boof @Ambuh

@Boof I still love you no matter what! It's just… damn I'm bi

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@Ambuh And I'm hella gay, unfortunately Peter is a minor so no no :( but like, Damn why didn't Stark or Junior tell us he was this cute???

 

Becka @StarkStan

@DannyBoi I knew cause as soon as Junior mentioned Peter I yeeted myself over to his twitter to stalk him

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@StarkStan Well then damn, thanks for the warning, Becka

 

Becka @StarkStan

@DannyBoi No problem Dan :P

 


 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

WHAT @BeterBarker

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC I WANTED TO ASK YOUR MOMS FIRST THEN SURPRISE YOU

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BeterBarker Oooooooh… well you can still surprise me! Just don't tell me when!!

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC Lol, yeah alright Ned

 


 

Dat Boi @ohshitwaddup

Yo what's up with the #peterisadork tag? I keep seeing it pop up

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

@ohshitwaddup It's because, as the tag states, @BeterBarker is a major dork and we use it to tell him so

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@EmJay Which I still think is dork-shaming but Whatever

 


 

Trending on Twitter

 

#whoisstarkintern - 8.8M Tweets

#irondad - 13.9M Tweets

#peterisadork - 2.3M Tweets

Chapter Text

Ironman @TStark

Everyone it is a National Holiday if anyone is mean to @BeterBarker today they will get deleted #happybirthdaypeter

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark Mr. Stark this is not what I expected or wanted to happen when I told you it was my birthday

 

Ironman @TStark ✔

@BeterBarker What I'm hearing is go BIGGER

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark NO

 

Ironman @TStark ✔

@BeterBarker I have been meaning to introduce you to the president…

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark MR. STARK I WILL WALK THE THREE FEET BETWEEN US TO HIT YOU

 


 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

Hey @BeterBarker Happy Birthday and all but wtf why are you tweeting your boss at 10 am??? Why are you at the Tower at 10 am???

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC Cause we were both up and he started it

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC Also cause I slept over at the tower

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BeterBarker What even is your life man

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@GuyITC Idk man, idk

 


 

Ironman @TStark

:)

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark Why does this scare me?

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

A FUCKING SKYWRITER????? @TStark MR. STARK 🅱LS

 


 

Spyder @Hannahhhh

So apparently its @BeterBarker 's birthday and Stark is making a big deal about it? Uhh #happybirthdaypeter I guess but what's happening?

 

Lucky @Ladyy

@Hannahhhh Kay so it's a Thing™ that Stark does for people he cares about

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@Ladyy Yeah he does it for Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes as well

 

Spyder @Hannahhhh

@Ladyy @DannyBoi I see

 


 

Pepper @VPPotts

Happy birthday @BeterBarker I hope Tony doesn't go all out on yours like he does mine #happybirthdaypeter 

 

Rhodey @JRRhodes ✔

@VPPotts Ditto, kid, he bought me an entire damn jet last year #happybirthdaypeter

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@VPPotts @JRRhodes He got a skywriter, guys, A SKYWRITER

 


 

GM Midtown Hiiiigh @BittyBetty

#happybirthdaypeter 

 

{ video.mov }

 


 

The video begins with Betty's face, the camera in selfie mode. She smiles brightly and waves.

"Heya Peter! All your teammates just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!!!" She winks and flips the camera to reveal Abe, Sally, and Cindy standing in front of a whiteboard.

Abe grins, "We know how much you just love those stupid shirts."

"The ones with the words spelled in elements!" Sally piped in.

Cindy nodded, "Yeah, so we and pitched in and…"

The three students stepped out from in front of the whiteboard to reveal "Happy Birthday Peter" written in elements, as well as three shirts with different sayings written on them in elements, as well as one that lists out elements.

"That one says 'Fuck Off'," Abe snickered, and Sally elbowed him.

"Happy birthday, Peter!!" the three teens chorused, and the camera switched to once again show Betty's face.

"Happy birthday!!"

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@BittyBetty Guuuuuuys thank you so much I love them!

 

GM Midtown Hiiiigh @BittyBetty

@BeterBarker Np Peter! You're our best player on the Acadec team after all (btw we'll give you the shirts on Monday)

 

Spidey Fan @FlashT

@BittyBetty He isn't the best player, he shouldn't even be on the team! He's never at practice!

 

Ironman @TStark ✔

@FlashT Deleted

 


 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

Omg @TStark Mr. Stark did you really just hack twitter and delete Flash's account?

 

Ironman @TStark ✔

@BeterBarker Yes, I warned him. By the way, enjoy your new verified status

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

@TStark :0

 

*Hacker Voice* I'm In @GuyITC

@BeterBarker Flash deserved it but dang Peter what even is your life lol

 


 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay

Happy birthday nerd @BeterBarker #happybirthdaypeter

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

@EmJay Thanks mi I love you <3

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay ✔

@BeterBarker …. <3

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

@EmJay :O

 

Sapphos Reborn @EmJay ✔

@BeterBarker <\3

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

@EmJay :*(

 


 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

Damn Stark really Did That tho

 

Ambuh @Boof

@DannyBoi Yeah but have you guys noticed that Junior hasn't popped in yet???

 

Boof @Ambuh

@Boof Babe what are you suggesting??

 

Ambuh @Boof

@Ambuh Consider: Peter Parker IS Junior

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@Boof hm

 


 

Junior @StarkIntern

Happy birthday @BeterBarker you lil shit

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker ✔

@StarkIntern hate you too asshole <3

 

Junior @StarkIntern

@BeterBarker <3

 


 

Boof @Ambuh

Look, now Junior has posted

 

Ambuh @Boof

@Ambuh Awfully soon after I said something isn't it?

 

Damn Daniel @DannyBoi

@Boof Conspiracy theories aside, if Peter isn't Junior then I def ship them

 

Boof @Ambuh

@DannyBoi Totally

 


 

The Mechanic @PotatoGunner ✔

#happybirthdaypeter

 


 

Ironman @TStark

Hey kid @BeterBarker what do you want for lunch?

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark hmmm pizza sounds good and tame

 

Ironman @TStark

@BeterBarker Pizza from Italy it is, I'll be waiting in the jet

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@TStark AhdjejdbKjdnkdjdjdjdj MR STARK

 


 

 

May Flowers @MayP

Happy birthday honey, these past 16 years have been a blessing, I larb you @BeterBarker #happybirthdaypeter 

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@MayP I larb you too Aunt May!

 


 

Pepper @VPPotts

There seems to be something waiting for you in the garage @BeterBarker

 

Peter with a B @BeterBarker

@VPPotts Omg @TStark Mr. Stark pls tell me you didn't get me a whole ass car

 

Ironman @TStark ✔

@BeterBarker Of course not, what do you take me for?

 


 

Mr. Stark

 

Did you really tho?

 

Did I really what?

 

Buy me a car

 

No kid, I bought you a car KIT

So we can build it ourselves

 

Really!?

That's so cool!!

Thanks Dad!!!

 

What?

 

What?

Oh

OH SHIT

Omg I'm so sorry

Ned's been saying that a lot

Teasing me that you act like my dad

And I guess it stuck

Sorry

 

Kid calm down

Its fine

 

It is?

 

Absolutely

I'm fine if you wanna call me dad

That's what everyone thinks I am anyway

 

Really?

I can call you dad?

 

Yeah kid

 

Contact name changed to Irondad

 


 

Rhodey @JRRhodes

Alright, why the hell is Tony crying while holding his phone??

 



Trending on Twitter

 

#whoisstarkintern - 8.9M Tweets

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#peterisadork - 2.4M Tweets

#happybirthdaypeter - 4k Tweets