Actions

Work Header

Daydream, Daydream

Chapter Text

“Alright, everyone on the couch,” the art director called out. After a long day of rehearsal, and another hour sitting in hair and makeup, trying to shove a few bites of cold food in their mouths between the stylist’s brushing, the team was ending their day with a promotional photoshoot. They’d already been up and moving for ten hours and everyone in the room was hoping the boys could just get it done quickly so they could all go home. They were all professionals of course--they were sure they’d be in and out--but it would still be at least a half hour of group shots and then another hour for everyone’s individuals. “Namjoon, far left. Then J-Hope, Jimin, Suga, Jungkook, Jin, then Tae on the end.”

Hoseok smiled, glad to have been placed next to his favorite dongsaeng, Park Jimin. Jimin was always so comfortable in the shoots, like Hoseok himself. Yoongi, Joon, Kook--they weren’t as eager to be in such close quarters for so long. They did it because the producers wanted them too and because ARMY always liked their soft, cuddly shots but they never really managed to relax and enjoy themselves. Jimin was much more comfortable with it. It came easy to him to put his arms around the others’ shoulders or to intertwine his legs with someone else’s. It came easy to Hoseok too. Hoseok suspected it was for different reasons (Hoseok was just an openly physical guy whereas Jimin seemed to prefer being in close quarters with men) but the result was the same. The two had very few boundaries with one another. This shoot would be a piece of cake for the pair--hell, it might even be fun.

“Photo buddies,” Hoseok said, tickling his friendly dongsaeng from behind as they headed toward the set. His practiced fingers found, so easily, the most sensitive spots between Jimin’s ribs and Jimin jumped and hissed in response.

“Aiish, hyung,” He batted Hoseok’s hands away but he couldn’t hide the sheepish smile that grew on his face. “No cuddling today,” he said wagging his finger at his hyung. He said it like a warning but he had a flirtatious glint in his eye. Even as he said the words, he was glad he could count on Hoseok ignoring them.

The elder nodded, playing along, “Of course. Strictly business.” They laughed together as they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

Comfortable. That’s how it always was with them. Easy. Both of them enjoyed physical affection and it wasn’t something they would have had the opportunity to have much of had it not been for each other. That’s why it felt as natural as breathing when Hoseok laid his hand on Jimin’s thigh and slowly moved it toward his hip. Jimin made a jokingly scolding face at him and the elder raised his eyebrows comically like a Vaudevillian villain in response. They laughed again and Hoseok slung his arm around Jimin’s narrow shoulders as the shoot began.

Hoseok was having a great time as he expected he would. The shoot was going well--flying by really. They should be done shortly. He shifted away from Namjoon whom he’d been trying to engage with a little skinship (to Joon’s credit, he’d really tried to come off natural but he was stiff and awkward and gave up the effort after three shots) and inched closer to his more receptive dongsaeng. Jimin looked a little bored--Hoseok assumed he’d had just as little success interacting with Yoongi as he’d had with Joon. Hoseok reached out and put his arm on Jimin’s shoulder, tugging at his earlobe with his long fingers. Jimin immediately leaned into Hoseok and slung his leg over one of his. Hoseok smiled. Comfortable. Easy. He moved his hand around the back of Jimin’s neck and pushed his hand into his hair, twisting the soft blonde strands between his fingers. Jimin bit at his lip, seducing the camera in his own impossibly cute way, and put his hand on Hoseok’s thigh. They flirted with each other like this back and forth, playing for the camera, falling into the moment as naturally as always.

Hoseok turned and fixed his gaze on Jimin, giving ARMY one of their favorite “hearts in his eyes” looks. It was easy to have hearts in his eyes for Jimin. There was so much of him to appreciate. At the moment, Hoseok found calling forth the feelings of adoration particularly easy. He admired his dongsaeng’s adorable apple cheeks, colored pink by the noona’s skillful makeup work. He admired his long eyelashes that perfectly framed his pretty brown eyes, his jawline that could have cut the strongest glass, and his lips that were plump and shiny with gloss. Hoseok felt the twinkle shine in his own eyes as he stared and smiled, fully aware of the fact that these next few frames in the photographer’s film would end up on every “JiHope” fansite out there (not that there were a great many). He was about to look away, his goal accomplished, when Jimin flashed a particularly charming smile that all but commanded Hoseok’s attention. He really did look great today. I mean, it was Jimin--he always looked great. But today he looked a little softer than normal--maybe it was his makeup? Or maybe it was his mood--his energy felt more confident, perhaps? Maybe there was nothing different about Jimin. Maybe Hoseok was just in a different mood. He was feeling extra hopeful today. Whatever the difference, Jimin had caught his eye in a way he hadn’t before. He was just so pretty...

Jimin must have felt Hoseok’s eyes burning into him and wondered why they had been there for so long, because Jimin slowly turned to meet his stare. Hoseok saw the opportunity for a better shot still and narrowed his eyes seductively. It was meant to be playful--he’d thought he made it look playful--but Hoseok inhaled softly, surprised, when he saw Jimin’s eyes darken and his plump, glossy lips part. It changed his face in such a way that it almost made Jimin unrecognizable to him. He looked so...grown up. Hoseok suddenly felt something warm curl somewhere below his stomach and he couldn’t help but wonder what Jimin was playing at. Jimin’s fingers dug tightly into Hoseok’s shoulder and he was suddenly aware of how close they were to each other. He could feel the heat radiating off of Jimin’s body. It was overwhelming for a moment and, as Hoseok held Jimin’s gaze he suddenly found himself imagining what it might be like to fuck him. Pin him down, bite his shoulder, bury his cock in him...‘Probably pretty fucking great,’ he thought, feeling his tongue just barely peak out to wet his lip which had gone inexplicably dry. Jimin caught the small movement and his eyes fluttered down to Hoseok’s now slick lips. Hoseok saw a barely perceptible smile tug at the corner of Jimin’s mouth as he turned his face, pink with real blush now, back to the camera. The tension broke so quickly, Hoseok was surprised there wasn’t an actual shattering sound echoing in the room. The strangely heated moment passed and evaporated so quickly, Hoseok felt a little dazed. He couldn’t help but smile widely, bewildered, laughing and cringing at the absurdity of his brief daydream, as he too turned back to face the camera.

The shoot ended not five minutes later and Hoseok jumped up to congratulate the team on a job well done, the brief--whatever it was--with Jimin all but forgotten. “WHOO! YEAH! High five high five!” he hollered, far more energetic than he had any right or reason to be, as he jumped on the couch. Jungkook joined him and Jin chimed in with a half-hearted “whoo!” but the rest of the team just grumbled and went on their way. Hoseok noticed Jimin sped out of the room faster than anyone and he wondered vaguely why his photo buddy was in such a rush. ‘I wasn’t done flirting,’ he thought with a laugh. Jumping off the couch, he saw Yoongi pull on his beanie and ran to catch up with him. If Jimin wasn’t in the mood to play anymore, he’d settle for teasing his hyung instead.

Chapter Text

“Aiish,” Jungkook sighed, ruffling his dark hair that fell wet and messy across his forehead. “You didn’t put them back where you were supposed to did you?”

Tae looked offended at the Maknae’s accusation. “I put the blindfolds in the nightstand where we always keep them!” he insisted, his mouth falling into the full pout that made his cheeks look heavy and particularly pitiful. 

Jungkook rolled his eyes but Jimin could see that they had softened at Tae’s pout. “I’ll check the closet,” he sighed.

Jungkook and Tae wanted to play a few rounds of blind-folded hide-and-seek. It was a go-to for the trio because they didn’t have to leave the room, it was quiet (in theory, anyway) so they wouldn’t disturb the staff or the hyungs, and it gave them an excuse to creatively climb over and rearrange the furniture. Normally Jimin was game for these late night shenanigans with the Maknae Line but tonight his thoughts were elsewhere. 

With Hobi, strangely. 

Hobi always flirted with Jimin. Probably because Jimin always flirted with him. So technically none of the lingering hands or sexy small talk at the photoshoot earlier were out of the ordinary. But something was out of the ordinary. Something was positively extra-ordinary. The look in his hyung’s eyes today for that infinite moment during the photoshoot had ignited a spark somewhere deep in Jimin’s belly which had exploded outward through his whole body. Maybe outside of his own body too. Did the whole room shake? It had certainly should have. But if there was a world outside of Hobi’s dark stare, he didn’t care to ever see it again. He was fine where he was--lost in his hyung’s hypnotic gaze. Even after the lifetime of that moment had passed, the fire remained in the form of a slow burn creeping through every inch of his body. It took him hours to identify the feeling as sexual desire, probably because he was so reluctant to admit that he was feeling like that about Hobi. His goofy, over-the-top, yet endearing hyung. But when he did, he couldn’t shake it. Jimin still felt the tingle in his fingertips, the occasional drop of his stomach, and he found himself gasping sporadically like the fire was consuming all of the oxygen in his body. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. Not for a second. His mind was stuck on the dark and foreign look in Hobi’s sparkling eyes. 

“I’m going to go practice,” Jimin said standing up and sighing in frustration. He had inadvertently interrupted Jungkook and Tae who were still affectionately bickering. 

“Huh?” said Tae. “Practice what?”

“I don’t know,” Jimin shrugged. He didn’t know. He hadn’t even really made the conscious decision to practice--it was just his natural response to dealing with stress or discomfort or avoiding thoughts that were plaguing him. “I’m just going to dance a little. Unwind.”

Jungkook and Tae looked at each other, “Now?” Jungkook asked, holding the knit fabric they called “blindfolds” that he’d just pulled out from under the dresser.

Jimin shrugged again and headed to the door.

Tae leapt over Jimin’s bed and caught his shoulder before he made it to the door. “Yah, is everything alright?” he asked, the concern in his voice evident. 

Tae was weirdly intuitive at times. As his best friend, Jimin always loved that he could tell when something was bothering him. He also loved that Tae could tell when he didn’t want to talk about it. But Jimin felt bad for making him worry so he smiled at them both reassuringly and reached out to tap Tae’s sharp chin. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just wired and need to dance it off so I can get some good sleep.”

That seemed to satisfy Jungkook, and Tae, while clearly sensing there was more to the story, got the message that Jimin wanted to be alone too. Jungkook smiled back and Tae nodded at him as if giving him permission to leave. “Have fun, be careful, and don’t worry about waiting up for me,” Jimin said as he walked out of the room and let the door shut behind him. 

In the hallway, Jimin felt a little burst of energy. This was good, he nodded assuredly. This was a good idea. Dance until you’re too tired to think about anything except sleep. He’d sleep in the studio if it came to that. But he wasn’t dancing yet. Even as he made his way to the studio his thoughts drifted to Hobi. He rubbed at his temples and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he tried to stave off the impending images of his hyung and the look

How many times had he thought about the look today? Dozens at least. Maybe a hundred. Jimin tried again to reason with himself. Maybe he was imagining it was more intense than it was. After all, it had only lasted a second, albeit an impossibly long second. And it hadn’t seemed to affect Hobi at all--he was back to his goofy self in a blink. But even as Jimin tried to persuade his memory to change, an increasingly familiar feeling flared within him, settling low in his stomach and sending waves of heat radiating out. He needed to get to that dance studio now. 

Jimin looked around trying to gauge where in the building he was. He couldn’t believe he wasn’t there yet. He had walked the path from his room to the studio thousands of times but somehow he ended up heading in the wrong direction. Another symptom of his distraction, he guessed. Jimin’s eyes fell on the door coming up on his right. His stomach dropped when he realized what it was. Jimin had walked himself right to Hobi’s door. He stumbled back, shaking his head frantically. He felt crazy. This was crazy. 

‘But...maybe this is good though,’ a mischievous sounding voice bounced around his head. He had avoided Hobi after the photoshoot. Maybe talking to him was the solution. If he and Hobi just had a normal, silly conversation surely that would quash these strange residual feelings. He’d never been attracted like this to smiley, happy Hobi. It was the intimidating, dark-eyed Hobi from the couch that did this to him. He needed to replace that image with a more familiar, less dangerous one. Of course that was the answer. 

Before he could change his mind, Jimin quickly reached out and pounded on the door. 

“Who is it?” a voice answered.

But as soon as he heard Hobi call from inside, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his stomach did a swoop. Jimin was immediately horrified by what he had done. Hobi’s voice had the opposite effect that Jimin had hoped for. Or maybe, it had exactly the effect you were hoping for? the mischievous voice sounded again. Jimin started to back away with no plan but to flee the hallway before anyone knew he was there but he was too late. He heard the door open just as he turned.

“Jiminie?” Hobi’s face popped out from behind the door, his smile too bright for the late hour. “What a nice surprise so late!” 

“Yeah, I didn’t realize what time it was.” Jimin stammered. “Sorry, I’ll go, it’s not important.” He turned to leave again.

“No, no, no!” Hobi stopped him. “It’s fine. I wasn’t asleep. Come in!” He grabbed Jimin’s arm and pulled him into the room, Jimin protesting half-heartedly.

“I was just having a drink.” Hobi said, gesturing to the bottle of scotch on the table. “Want one?”

Hoseok looked like he might have had one or two already. He seemed fine but he was a little flushed and his grip when he grabbed Jimin a moment ago was unnecessarily strong and a little haphazard. Jimin was about to refuse the drink but he could feel himself starting to get flustered already and he thought a drink might help him calm down. “Sure. Thank you.” he said reaching for the one Hobi had just poured. 

Hoseok noticed how Jimin’s hand trembled as he handed the glass to him. “Are you okay, Jiminie?”

Jimin paused, unsure how to answer the question. Was he okay? His eyes scanned Hobi, standing in front of him with his brows slightly furrowed in curiosity, wearing a charcoal-colored t-shirt that hung just a little loose over his long torso and a pair of harem-style sweatpants that made him look so comfortable but also so cool. It was strange to look at the same J-Hope he had known for years and yet suddenly see a whole new person. But now it was so clear to him. He couldn’t unsee the smolder beneath his cheery smile. The passion behind his twinkling eyes. The strength in the sharp bones of his cheeks and jaw. The power held taut in his arms and shoulders. ‘No,’ Jimin thought, swallowing hard, ‘I’m definitely not okay.’ He’d come here on accident--was it an accident? To get rid of the burning desire he felt--or was it to act on it?’ Staring at Hobi, he felt confused and aroused and defensive and so curious to see more of this side of his hyung. 

Hoseok watched Jimin’s face as he stood in silence. Through the slight haze of the alcohol, he could see Jimin examining him. His eyes danced up and down Hoseok’s frame, lingering almost longingly at times. Hoseok didn’t consider himself to be an expert on human behavior or anything but he easily identified the look in Jimin’s eyes. It confused him though because as familiar as it was to him, he’d never seen it directed at him. But the longer Jimin looked, Hoseok couldn’t deny the intention of it. Jimin was being positively obvious. It probably hadn’t been conscious, but he had even licked his lips. Hoseok smiled widely again--amused, flattered, confused--and he ducked his head to try to catch Jimin’s eye. “Do you see something you like?” He teased him. 

Jimin started and began stuttering something, waving his hands in an apology. His whole face flushed bright red.

Hoseok laughed delightedly. Jimin was so flustered. It was adorable and alluring and totally unexpected. What on Earth had gotten into him? Coming to Hoseok’s room at one in the morning, looking like an eager, young ingénue . Jimin wanted to play? For real, this time? Hoseok certainly wasn’t opposed. He was always up for a good time. And he was absolutely sure Jimin would be a good time. He was sure he could show Jimin a good time. But to be honest, if someone had asked him to envision an encounter with Jiminie--this wouldn’t be how it started. In the dozens of variations he would likely have come up with, he never would have imagined Jimin as the initiator. That just wasn’t the sweet, shy Jiminie he knew. Yes, Jimin was a shameless flirt. Yes, he often said cheeky things and he sometimes teased Kookie and Yoongi by being forward with them. But at the end of the day, he was a romantic. Him showing up at Hoseok’s room at 1 a.m. looking for a hook up was frankly shocking. And Hoseok imagined that getting Jimin to admit, to himself and to Hoseok, that that’s why he came would be a challenge. 

“Jimin, I’m just teasing,” Jimin was still apologizing and trying to stutter out an explanation so Hoseok tried to calm him down. He walked over to his bed and sat down, motioning to the bed across from him (left vacant by Jungkook) as a signal for Jimin to join him. 

Jimin clutched his glass in both hands and walked cautiously over to Hobi. He sat for a second but then decided he was too anxious to sit so he stood across from him instead. 

“Tell me what’s going on.” Hoseok prompted, pretending he didn’t know exactly why Jimin was so nervous. “And stop chewing on your cheek--you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Jimin released his cheek from his teeth and took a big gulp of his drink. He lowered the glass, taking a couple of slow, deep breaths as he tried to find words--any intelligible words--in the whirlwind of thoughts running through his mind. Hoseok wanted to know what was going on but how could he explain when he didn’t even understand himself? How could he explain that all of a sudden out of nowhere he was overwhelmed with the urge to put his lips all over Hoseok’s long, slender neck? How could he explain that all he’d thought about for the last several hours was feeling how firm the muscle beneath his t-shirt was and how sweet the inside of his mouth tasted?  How could he possibly tell Hobi that even as he stood there, bare faced, cheeks rosy from the booze, in his sweats and t-shirt, he was turning Jimin into a quivering, incoherent puddle of desire. He helplessly cast his eyes around the room before he realized that searching for a magic answer scribbled on the wall or floor was futile. He sighed and focused hoping that whatever he said, he could at the very least suppress the tremble in his voice. “You know how...we...um...play around a lot?” He wouldn’t look Hoseok in the eye.

An endeared smile immediately appeared on Hoseok’s lips. “Oh yes, you’re my favorite to play with, Jiminie,” he said. 

Jimin smiled back, a little encouraged and continued. “Um,” he laughed nervously, and ran his hands through his hair, “I don’t know how to put this, I’m sorry...Did...did something…happen… with you? With us? At the photoshoot?”

“The photoshoot?” Hoseok was genuinely confused now. That’s what coaxed Jimin here for a booty call? The flirting at the photoshoot? That was just another day for them. He shrugged, perplexed. “Can you be more specific?”

Jimin looked disappointed. “Never mind, I guess I imagined it.”

“Imagined what?”

Jimin sighed and took another big drink. “It’s stupid,” he said. And as he said it, he felt it. ‘So so stupid, Jimin.’ “I thought you were sending me some sort of signal during the shoot. It felt kind of intense. Your eyes…”

“Oh.” It suddenly dawned on Hoseok. Oh . He knew exactly the moment Jimin was talking about. He recalled now that the flirting at the photoshoot had actually been a little out of the ordinary. He’d forgotten about it, honestly, but there were a couple of seconds there where he’d felt a particularly tangible tension that wasn’t exactly their norm. And from that tension, Hoseok had felt a fairly visceral urge to fuck him. He’d pictured it even. Had his face given something away? Had he inadvertently “signaled” Jimin? Maybe Jimin had felt the strange, powerful tension he’d felt too. Well at least now Hoseok understood why Jimin had come to him tonight of all nights. Jimin felt a genuine sexual tension today and clearly it piqued his interest. 

Jimin was relieved by Hobi’s acknowledgment. Something did happen. From the way it looked like Hobi had to search for the memory, it had clearly been more intense for Jimin but most things were. But at least he wasn’t crazy. “You know what I’m talking about!” he exclaimed. “There was a moment!” 

“Sure,” Hoseok conceded. “There was definitely some real heat today, Jimin. But what about it ?” Hoseok looked at him meaningfully. It wasn’t a question he cared to have the answer to. He wanted Jimin to understand what was happening. It wasn’t enough that he knew why Jimin was here. Jimin had to know too. He watched Jimin’s face as it pinched and twitched, a million thoughts running through his head and leaving their impressions on his eyes, lips, and brow. Jimin was clearly wrestling with himself--working hard to understand and then deny and then consider what his body was telling him--demanding of him. Come on, Jimin .

Jimin opened his mouth to speak but hesitated again. Why had he come here? He knew the answer. As much as he didn’t want it to be the answer. As much as he didn’t want to say it, he knew. But what would happen if he told Hobi? Would he make fun of him? Get mad at him? ...Reject him...? After a tense moment of silence, Jimin cautiously looked Hoseok in the eye. “Hobi, today, when you looked at me like that…I felt...something different, something strong.”

Hoseok understood. He could see what Jimin felt then--what he was feeling now--plainly on his face. It was in the way his eyes were glazed with want, the way his lips rested slightly parted and pushed into an unconscious pout that made them look even more kissable, the way his cheeks were flushed with warmth, tinting them a deep pink. He waited for Jimin to continue but it seemed his words were all used up--he’d gone as far as he knew how to--as far as he was willing to, at least, without encouragement. So Hoseok encouraged him. “Something here?” With a smirk, he reached out and roughly grabbed the front of Jimin’s jeans, pulling him forcefully toward him.

Jimin, caught off guard, dropped his glass spilling the last of its contents onto the floor. His stomach did a vicious swoop and he was locked in place—less so by Hobi’s vice-like grip on the denim stretched over his crotch than by his smoldering, mischievous gaze. Jimin’s head swirled in a way that made him wonder if the alcohol had finally hit him. “Oppa,” he exhaled, his voice a timid whisper that rang between them like a siren.

Hoseok let Jimin go and rolled back onto the bed laughing. “Did you just call me Oppa?!” He felt a surge of something between elation, shock, embarrassment, and raw, desperate lust rip through him and he clutched his stomach trying to catch it. Jimin was full of surprises tonight. 

Jimin blushed and fell on the bed next to Hoseok. Hoseok’s laugh could have traumatized him but Jimin realized in an instant his laughter wasn’t a cruel mockery of Jimin’s embarrassing slip and whatever had caused the fit was something more joyful. He slapped his hyung, shyly, “I didn’t mean to,” he laughed along, burying his face in his hands. Truthfully, Jimin didn’t know where that came from but as he said it, it felt right. The way they flirted always seemed to have that underlying dynamic. He had assumed it was because Hoseok was older than him that he felt like he was the boss--the one with the power. But now he wondered if that dynamic hadn’t always been a subconscious manifestation of their particular sexual chemistry. 

“That’s okay,” Hobi winked. “I liked it.” And he did. Oh, he did. Still smirking, he rolled onto his side to face Jimin. Hoseok knew what he, himself, wanted tonight. Jimin had sealed it just now when he called him “Oppa.” But, from the way Jimin’s eyebrows pulled together again and the way the embarrassed smile on his face had been replaced by more cheek-chewing he could tell he was still struggling to really embrace his desires. But Hoseok could help with that. Jimin just needed a window. “Tell me what you came here for tonight, Jimin-ssi,” he cooed.

Jimin sighed. He looked up at the ceiling and let his thoughts wander back to the photo shoot earlier that day. ‘ Why did I come here? Why did I come to Hobi-hyung? ’ He closed his eyes and a remarkably clear image of his hyung from the photoshoot appeared on the back of his eyelids. It made his breath catch in his throat. He was looking at Jimin through his thick eyelashes and his eyes burned with an intensity that his dark eyeliner only enhanced. He felt once again, so clearly, the tension that had been in the heavy air they shared, the feeling it had stirred in him...

Hoseok watched Jimin fantasize, his eyes glazing over with lust. He saw the soft grind Jimin was making, probably subconsciously, with his hips, pushing them down into the bed as his delicate hands traveled over the sheet at his side. Hoseok smiled, almost smugly. Jimin wouldn’t need much more encouragement after all. He knew what he was here for now. And Hoseok was eager to oblige.

“I just…I wanted more,” Jimin finally confessed, as much to himself as to Hoseok.

Never taking his eyes from Jimin’s face, Hobi began tracing his fingers over Jimin’s chest, moving lower and lower with each pass--caressing his ribs, circling his navel, tickling his pelvis right above his waistband. “How much more, Jiminie?” He pressed the boy quietly, not wanting to rouse him from his fantasy.

Jimin was breathing harder now, his eyes still clenched shut as Hoseok’s hand drifted lower still. Hobi could feel him trembling under his fingers. “Until it’s enough,” he exhaled. It sounded almost like a plea.

That was all Hoseok needed to hear. He stood suddenly and turned his back to Jimin. He grabbed a chocolate off the nightstand and popped it into his mouth, taking a second to savor the sweetness coating his mouth and the sound of Jimin’s shaky breath behind him. “Go take a shower, Jimin,” he said, his suddenly firm voice cutting through the tension in the room.

Jimin sat up and blinked, “Wh-What?”

“Take a shower.” Hobi repeated. “Clean yourself.” It was an order.

Jimin stared at Hobi’s back. He was suddenly a little frightened. But the fear shivered all the way down his spine and met the flames licking just below his belly and the way they mingled made Jimin’s mouth go dry and his hands clench into tight fists. 

Hoseok heard Jimin get to his feet and move across the room. When the bathroom door clicked shut, Hoseok smiled at himself in the mirror. Jimin was so pliable, so accommodating. He was going to be a natural at this. Hoseok made a mental note to be gentle with him. But Jimin had called him “Oppa”--he must have sensed on some level what a night with Hoseok would be like. Hoseok was eager to show him. Hoseok felt most in his element on stage in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans. But this--seduction, sex, dominance--this was his playground. 

The shower trick was a favorite of Hoseok’s. It served the dual purpose of heightening the anticipation, and giving him time to get ready for his guest. And, to be frank, Hoseok rather enjoyed the idea of Jimin washing himself in the shower, preparing his body for him to use. But in this case it served another, more important purpose. The shower would give Jimin a little extra time to think carefully about what he was prepared to do tonight and if it was the right call for him. Honestly, Hoseok wasn’t the type to get caught up in the moment and make a rash decision. When he wanted to have sex with someone he committed to the thought quickly and never regretted it after. But Jimin was much more prone to getting swept away in a moment of intense emotion and then over-thinking it after, focusing on all the ways whatever he had done was a failure on his part. As sure as Hoseok was that Jimin wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to do this desperately, he didn’t want Jimin’s second and third and fourth thoughts on his conscience. The shower would give Jimin time to sort that all out without Hoseok having to have that potentially patronizing conversation with him. So he hoped Jimin was taking this time to have a good little talk with himself.

In the meantime, Hoseok moved quickly, changing the sheets on the bed and dimming the lights just a little. He still wanted both of them to be able to see everything but the softer lighting made for a sexier mood. He grabbed his dark green, silk pajamas out of his dresser and exchanged his t-shirt and sweats for them. This was a special occasion, after all. Finally, he ran his fingers through his hair which was still a bit wavy from the shoot to tousle it into a sexy-messy look, and put on some subtle dark eyeliner in an effort to disguise his naturally sunny nature. It didn’t do the job completely. Hoseok knew that his face was just a little too long, his lips just a little too thin, and his eyes just a little too round to be considered “sexy” but he thought he at least compensated well enough with his confidence and prowess to be considered desirable. When the room looked just right and Hoseok was happy enough with his appearance, he sat down on the bed and picked up the phone. “One last task,” he thought to himself as he dialed Jimin’s room. 

Jungkook answered after two rings, “Hello?”

“It’s your hope, your angel!” Hoseok cheerily greeted him. “I’m going to bed. Will you be extra quiet when you come in? I really need some sleep.”

“I’ll just stay over here tonight, Hyung,” Jungkook offered. “I won’t bother you.”

Hoseok smiled when he got the promise from Jungkook he was looking for. “Ah, so nice. Thank you, Kookie.” Hoseok hung up the phone. 

Standing once again in front of the mirror, he let a smirk crawl across his face as he took another drink of his scotch. Tonight, he was no one’s hope or angel.

He was Oppa.

Chapter Text

----------Jimin’s P.O.V.-----------

Jimin stood under the shower in Hoseok’s bathroom letting the almost-too-hot water pour over him. He’d been standing there, hunched against the cold tiles with his head buried in his forearm for at least 10 minutes without doing any bit of washing. He was too busy castigating himself for that. ‘ What am I doing? Why am I doing this? ’ He’d basically just begged Hobi to have sex with him. He’d come to his hyung, told him that he gave him a funny feeling in his pants, and called him “Oppa.” What was he, 14?! What if Hobi was pranking him and this was just going to be a big joke when he went out there? Jimin imagined how embarrassed he would feel about it...especially when Hobi inevitably told the others. 

Jimin turned his face toward the faucet and let the hot water beat against his forehead. He swallowed hard. ‘ Or what if it’s not a joke? What if we actually have sex? ’ That thought was almost more paralyzing. Tantalizing. But terrifying. It brought with it a million other scary, heart-stopping thoughts. What if someone finds out? What if Hobi gets weird about it? What if I do? What if it’s too uncomfortable for us after? What if it ruins Bangtan? What if I ruin Bangtan? He couldn’t stop the anxieties from tumbling out of him, pummeling him harder than the sharp drops of water from the faucet. The idea of causing anyone harm or even inconvenience was unbearable. And this could cause so much harm . But the longer Jimin was in the shower, the more his body burned with desire. The more he warned himself it was dangerous or wrong, the more tempted he felt to give in. The more Jimin thought about Hobi’s seductive gaze, his gentle but stirring caresses, his firm, husky tone just now, the more willing he was to silence all of the doubt and self-judgment. 

The realization that there was no talking himself out of this no matter the cost made a new thought cross his mind. Why was the idea of being with Hobi enough to silence his fears and self-judgment? So little else was. Nothing had ever so entirely drowned out that anxious, abusive voice in his head. But Jimin had never felt this kind of need. This kind of frenzy. For fuck sakes, he just spent all day fantasizing about a two second look. This wasn’t a question of “should he/shouldn’t he.” As he thought about his hyung waiting just outside the door for him, with that hungry, dangerous look in his eyes, he knew he really didn’t have a choice at all. 

 

----------Hoseok’s P.O.V.-----------

Hoseok was pacing the room. The shower part was supposed to take ten minutes, tops but Jimin had been in there for almost half an hour now. The longer he was in the shower, the more concerned Hoseok grew. He knew from the second Jimin stepped through his door this evening that he was nervous--but that was to be expected. What they were preparing to do wasn’t exactly nothing. Hell, if he was being honest with himself, he was a little nervous too. But was Jimin really this scared? So scared that he’d shut himself in the bathroom rather than come out and even have a conversation with his hyung? The thought made Hoseok hesitate. This wasn’t that big a deal to him. But Jimin...well Jimin was different.

Hoseok knew Jimin almost as well as he knew himself. He knew his favorite lip gloss shade was Tangerine Glow not just because of the color but because of the taste. He knew that he couldn’t stand on his own two feet when he laughed really hard. And he knew that he would rather skip four days of meals and four nights of sleep working until he threw up in the studio rather than miss a single step of a tough choreo. But if there was any piece of Jimin he didn’t know inside out, it was this part. The part that brought Jimin to his door at one in the morning trembling with a lust he didn’t know what to do with. Jimin had surprised him more times tonight than he had in the last year. Hoseok tried to imagine what might be going through Jimin’s mind but he could only guess, really. 

Hoseok knew that Jimin held himself to a really high standard and that he never cut himself any slack. Honestly, that was true of a lot of Bangtan, but more than any of them Jimin worried about letting people down with his actions. Was that what Jimin was worried about? Letting Hobi down? Letting ARMY or Bangtan down? Letting himself down if this ended up being a mistake?

Maybe Hoseok had come on too strong. He was sure Jimin wanted this as much as he did--maybe more. Afterall, Jimin was the one who came to him despite being generally shy about this sort of thing by nature. Hoseok could only imagine how badly Jimin must have needed him to drive him to knock on his door. Hoseok had never wanted anyone that badly. The thought made Hoseok feel embarrassingly special and probably too cocky for his own good which had made him feel comfortable taking some liberties he might not have otherwise. But Jimin wanted him . Wow. How could that not go to his head? Maybe Jimin would have walked away if Hoseok hadn’t worked so hard to bring his desire to the surface. Maybe if he’d taken a second to think for Jimin instead of for himself, Jimin wouldn’t have given in to his newfound carnal lust. ‘I did grab his crotch, afterall.’

Or maybe Jimin was scared because of how he feared things might change after tonight. As far as Hoseok was concerned nothing would change. He loved Jimin deeply now and he would tomorrow too. He would carry on dancing with him, flirting with him, laughing with him as always. They were best friends, after all. And for Hoseok, sex was just sex. Even when it was sex with Jimin. Hoseok had had sex dozens of times with people he knew and people he didn’t and he’d never experienced any awkwardness in the aftermath. So he was sure he’d wake up tomorrow with a wider smile on his face and a livelier spring in his step but he knew he’d come down in a day or so with nothing more than some fond memories to think of on a rainy day. It just wasn’t a big deal. But Hoseok could see how Jimin might have a different perspective. Jimin was much more emotion-driven than Hoseok. He was a romantic and, honestly, Hoseok had no idea how much experience his dongsaeng had with this sort of thing. He could become attached. He might want, or even expect things to change. But Hoseok wouldn’t suddenly be Jimin’s boyfriend. He wouldn’t be all the things a boyfriend should be--all the things a sweet kid like Jimin deserves--if that’s what he wanted. ‘ What if that’s what Jimin wants?

Hoseok felt his heart clench at the thought. He asked himself if he was willing to break Jimin’s heart like that. Should he even put himself in that position? Hoseok couldn’t bear the thought of looking Jimin in his perfect cherubic face and saying anything that would cause him even an ounce of pain. No one could. It would be a monstrous act. Like kicking a puppy. But, if Hoseok went through with this tonight, it may just come to that.

Hoseok groaned and rubbed his face with his hands, frustrated that his shower plan had backfired and given him too much time to think things through. Between the fear of having exerted too much pressure, the concern for Jimin’s emotional stability, and the worry that he might have to let Jimin down, Hoseok couldn’t convince himself that spending one wild night with Park Jimin was worth it. “I can’t do this,” he decided, letting out a heavy sigh. “Fuck.” As soon as the resolution sunk in, he felt more disappointment than he had imagined he might. How had he gotten so attached to this idea so quickly? But that didn’t matter now. For Jiminie’s sake, this just couldn’t happen.

Not a second after Hoseok reluctantly arrived at this new decision, the bathroom door opened. He hadn’t even heard the water turn off. 

As Jimin walked out of the bathroom, bathed in the soft lighting Hoseok had carefully prepared for this moment, Hoseok’s mouth popped open. Jimin was wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped low on his gently curved hips and he was still wet from his shower. His straw-blonde hair was pushed back--he’d probably run his hand through it a dozen times in the bathroom--revealing his forehead. Hoseok’s eyes, wide with...something he couldn’t quite articulate but felt an awful lot like awe, surprise, fear, and raw, powerful lust in one, followed Jimin as he crossed the room and came to a stop about 6 ft in front of him. He stood there silently, as he if was awaiting inspection. 

“I wasn’t sure what to wear,” he said, gesturing to his towel. He sounded a little embarrassed but there was a cheeky glint in his eye all the same. He waited silently and eagerly for any sign of Hoseok’s approval. He was starting to get a little self-conscious the longer Hoseok stared but he blushed and smiled a smug little smile when he saw Hoseok’s wandering eyes linger just above his towel.

As Hoseok devoured Jimin with his gaze, his determination to call the whole thing off waned. Hoseok had underestimated his attraction to Jimin. He always knew Jimin would be fun to play with. Jimin was soft and sweet and corruptible, but also strong and passionate. And he was unquestionably sexy--his body, his face, the charisma that oozed off of him even as he stood perfectly still. He was exactly Hoseok’s type. But knowing that as a concept and feeling that in his bones were two very different things. Seeing Jimin standing there cheeks tinted pink, half-naked, with drops of water like tiny crystals glistening on his smooth chest and tight stomach drove Hoseok wild. They had seen each other naked many, many times. But, somehow, in this context, where Jimin was presenting himself like a prize to the man who would be his Oppa, Hoseok felt as if he was seeing Jimin for the first time. ‘What is it ARMY is always saying--once you Jim-In, you can’t Jim-Out?’ Hoseok understood now. He already felt addicted to Jimin’s body. He tried to maintain his composure. He was supposed to be the Oppa, after all. That was his role tonight. That’s why Jimin came here. That’s what he wanted. But Hoseok could feel himself getting flustered as Jimin stared at him wide-eyed, like a lost little lamb.

“Is everything okay, Oppa?” Jimin asked, his voice maddeningly soft and shy.

Hoseok let out a puff of air, pleasantly surprised again by Jimin’s submissive instincts. God, he’s perfect, But that simple question was enough to snap him back into his stride. Fuck it . Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the emotional aftermath. They would both deal with the consequences of tonight, tomorrow. Right now, Hoseok didn’t care about anything other than tasting every inch of Park Jimin. One hundred times. He cleared his throat, put his hands in his pockets, and leaned back against the dresser fighting the frenzy he could feel coming on. “You look lovely.” He said, a flirtatious smile in his eyes. Hoseok offered the light joke to ease Jimin’s palpable nerves. It worked a little--Jimin let out a real laugh. 

“So...what now?” Jimin asked, looking to Hoseok for direction.

“Sit on the bed.” Hoseok said calmly, still leaning on the dresser.

“Should I take my towel off?” Jimin hesitated, his hands moving to the loose knot tied at his hip.

“No.” Hoseok said. “I’ll get to that soon.”

Jimin’s face flushed again as he nodded and took a seat on the bed.

Hoseok put his drink down and walked up to Jimin. He stood directly in front of him--not even a foot from his face. Staring down into Jimin’s eyes, he slowly began to unbutton his own shirt.

Jimin tentatively reached up to help but Hoseok swatted his hand away. “No. Just watch.”

A shiver ran down Jimin’s spine and he did as he was told, lowering his eyes to Hoseok’s chest as it was revealed from beneath his shirt. With every button that was loosed, Jimin’s eyes followed Hoseok’s newly visible bare skin. Hoseok had a strong, lythe body--a dancer’s body--just like his own. It was toned and powerful and his scent was intoxicating. As it filled Jimin’s nostrils, it brought with it a sudden urge to kiss his way down Hobi’s stomach and not stop until he reached his waistband. But the last thing Jimin wanted to do was disobey and he knew he wasn’t allowed to touch yet so he traced the same path with his eyes and promised to taste it later. 

Hoseok unbuttoned the last clasp and slid the silk pajamas off his shoulders. Shirtless now, he stepped even closer to Jimin so that he was standing between his knees and Jimin’s face was just inches from his bare chest. Hoseok ran his hands roughly through Jimin’s hair and tilted his face up to look at him. Hoseok gave Jimin that same hungry look that had lured him here and watched as he became flustered under his gaze. It was a relief to know that he was having the same effect on Jimin as the younger was having on him.

Hoseok leaned over, even closer to Jimin’s face, and put his other hand on Jimin’s neck, running his thumb across Jimin’s lips. “Do you know what’s going to happen now, Jimin-sii?” He asked.

Jimin couldn’t speak so he shook his head. He felt dizzy.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

Jimin lowered his eyes to Hobi’s lips and nodded, “Okay” he agreed quickly. 

Hoseok wasn’t looking for an agreement but he was glad to have it. Jimin was so precious to him and as much as he was certain he himself would enjoy every second of this evening, it had never been more important to him that his partner did too. 

He lowered his lips to Jimin’s slowly and pressed them together softly. It was a gentle kiss, with just a slight part and almost no movement. Hoseok noticed Jimin’s eyes were closed and he looked blissful. Hoseok felt a little blissful too. This was the calm before the raging storm. Their first kiss. But this was no time for sentiment. Taking a breath, Hoseok returned his lips to Jimin’s and parted his plush lips with his tongue. Jimin moaned softly and opened his mouth just a little, willing Hoseok to kiss him harder.   

Hoseok pulled Jimin deeper into the kiss, using his hands to guide Jimin to his feet. As Hoseok dropped his hands to Jimin’s waist, Jimin moved his to hold onto Hoseok’s face. He needed the grip to steady himself but also to remove any space that may have existed between him and Hobi. Jimin felt like there could be no such thing as “close enough” to his hyung right now even if he could crawl inside of him. He felt a little like an animal. Just the simple act of kissing had awoken something inside of him that he didn’t know was there. Something deep and feral and insatiable. Even though he had lost all sense of time, he imagined he could kiss Hobi like this forever and still need more. 

Hoseok was enjoying the kiss too. It wasn’t usually his style to make out for so long but he was reluctant to end this one. Technically, this was their first kiss, but from the way their lips danced so easily against each other, it could have been their thousandth. He was also discovering, to his delight, that Jimin was a bit of a biter. He nibbled ravenously on Hoseok’s lips and tongue as they kissed. Hoseok was worried initially that Jimin may be timid and shy but Jimin had revealed himself to be quite ferocious very quickly. He showed no signs of letting up but Hoseok knew there was a pace to these things and he took advantage of Jimin’s singular focus to surprise him. In a fluid movement, Hoseok pulled the towel from his hips and pushed him back onto the bed, hard. 

Splayed across the comforter, Jimin made a startled sound and moved instinctively to cover himself. 

“Hands up.” Hoseok ordered.

Jimin’s hands flew above him on the bed, as if Hoseok’s command had been some magical spell. He felt his abs clench in fear or excitement—he couldn’t tell which--and he was winded.

Hoseok stood above Jimin calmly and very deliberately moved his eyes slowly down his body. Jimin waited as patiently as he could while the elder appraised his nude, exposed body, his cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. Hoseok knew Jimin was watching his face so he made sure it appeared satisfied, hungry, and confident which was actually quite a challenge because he was wildly intimidated and a little overwhelmed. Hoseok had never, in all his years, had a partner who intimidated him sexually. He wondered if it was Jimin specifically, or if it was because his relationship with Jimin added a layer of intimacy that Hoseok hadn’t confronted before. Maybe it was the alcohol. It didn’t really matter, he guessed. Not right now. Hoseok licked his lips when his eyes finally fell on Jimin’s member. It was smaller than his own but not by much and it might have been just a little thicker. It looked painfully hard and there was already some precum seeping out of the head as it leaned against Jimin’s toned abdomen. Hoseok reached behind Jimin’s knees and spread his legs further apart, placing his feet on top of the bed. He wanted to see all of him. Jimin remained obediently still, his hands still above his head where he was told to place them, but his face was flushed with embarrassment as Hoseok put him on display. Hoseok could feel the sparkle in his own eyes as he gazed down upon his young partner. He was perfect in every way. Every curve, every mark on his supple body was perfect. Right down to the naturally hairless, puckered pink rosebud just barely visible between his firm, yet plush cheeks.

Hoseok reached out and ran the tip of his finger up the length of Jimin’s erect shaft, “Jimin, you’re perfect,” he purred. 

Hoseok’s light caress caused Jimin to gasp. He gripped the bed and tilted his hips up to meet Hoseok’s hand. He wanted to be touched--needed to be touched. It had been so long since someone else’s hands had been on him like this--too long. But Hoseok kept his hand just barely out of reach so that his fingertips only lightly grazed his tip. “Oppa, please.” Jimin begged. It was mind-blowing how naturally those words came out of his mouth. You’d have thought Jimin had been doing this whole life. 

After watching Jimin stretch for him once more, Hoseok smirked. “I love seeing you desperate like this,” he said. And he did. He loved reducing people to quivering, pleading wrecks. Jimin was a particular treat as he looked especially delicious wrecked. “But I’m feeling generous, baby. So let’s get you a little contact, hmm?” Hoseok crawled on top of Jimin, planting his knees outside of the younger’s and leaning forward so that is arms were supporting his weight next to Jimin’s head and his hips were hovering just inches above Jimin’s erection. Hoseok was smiling a devilish smile as he slid his left hand up to hold Jimin’s wrists above his head. His hands were big enough that just one of them wrapped around both of Jimin’s delicate wrists easily. 

Jimin felt his heart accelerate as Hoseok started to roll his body, each seductive wave taking his clothed member closer to Jimin’s nude one. Jimin joined in the grind, moving his hips upward toward his hyung’s but Hoseok was careful to stay just out of reach of his needy thrusts. Jimin could feel the heat radiating from Hoseok’s member and was becoming more desperate to feel it against him. He started to writhe and wriggle in an attempt to brush up against it. He wanted to put his hands on Hoseok’s hips and pull him down onto him but Hoseok’s grip on his hands was too strong and his struggle was in vain. “Hyung--Oppa,” Jimin moaned, “please touch me!” Jimin was whimpering from need. 

Hoseok leaned his head down and took Jimin’s earlobe into his mouth. Jimin gasped at the hot, wet sensation as a bolt of electricity shot through his veins. “Touch you like this?” Hoseok teased. Jimin couldn’t talk but he tried to shake his head. Truthfully, the sensation did distract him a little from the fire burning below but not enough. Hoseok took his right hand and ran it up Jimin’s chest next, using his nails to create just a hint of pain to complement the pleasure. “Touch you like this?” he breathed open-mouthed against Jimin’s chin again, flicking Jimin’s hard nipple sharply. 

Jimin yelped and arched his back in surprise and ecstacy. “AH!” A sharp but fleeting pain shot through his body and he couldn’t help his eyes rolling back in his head as the discomfort melted away in a flood of adrenaline and endorphins. 

Hoseok, now dragging wet kisses down Jimin’s neck, grinned into his throat. “You’re so sensitive, my pet,” he beamed. Jimin moaned in response. Without warning, Hoseok slammed his hips into Jimin’s, dragging his hard member up against Jimin’s and then back down again. They both groaned at the friction. 

“Ah! Yes, Oppa!” Jimin cried, white sparks flickering behind his eyes. “More, please!” Hoseok ground his hips down again, harder this time, the damp silk of his pants creating just the thinnest barrier between them. Jimin was incoherent again, using what was left of his senses to focus on matching Hoseok’s grinds. The pleasure coursing through him was incomprehensible. Hoseok’s hands, his lips, his breath were everywhere all at once and Jimin, pinned under his hyung couldn’t do anything but think about all the ways he couldn’t stand anymore but wanted it anyway. Hoseok had his tongue in Jimin’s mouth now, rubbing firm circles on its roof and Jimin couldn’t help but catch it with his teeth and bite down on it sharply. 

Hoseok pulled away in surprise as he tasted the iron of his own blood in his mouth. He looked down at Jimin whose eyes were lidded and possessed. Breathless, the boy below him began to apologize but Hoseok flashed him an exhilarated smile and crashed his lips against his harder. Hoseok was grateful to see this passion and ferocity in his shy dongsaeng. Hoseok liked his sex with a little bit of pain and, if Jimin did too, all the better. To reward his young friend’s boldness, Hoseok finally slid his hand down Jimin’s torso, tickling his abs as he trailed his way down to Jimin’s member and wrapped his long fingers around the shaft. Jimin bucked underneath him and an almost inhuman gasp passed his lips. Hoseok rubbed the precum from Jimin’s head, thumbing at the sensitive slit there, and pulled it down his shaft, using the slick substance to eliminate the friction from his firm grip. Jimin moaned again in ecstasy and gratitude and Hoseok melted at the sound. “What do you say?” He prompted, waiting with baited breath to hear the writhing boy below him say those sinful magic words. 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin breathed, a hint of a whimper in his throat. Hoseok groaned. He was so well-mannered already. Hoseok loved a pet with manners. He knew Jimin would be perfect at this... so perfect

Meanwhile, Jimin was in a state of euphoria. He had never in his life been so aroused. He wondered if he’d even been alive at all before this moment. Hoseok’s hands were magic and were coaxing him to what he was sure would be an earth-shattering orgasm. Every inch of Jimin’s body felt like it was a live wire. Burning and tingling and singing. And Hoseok’s kiss was just as intoxicating as the firm grip on his cock. His tongue was strong and sweet and as dexterous as the rest of his body. It darted and licked and stroked every part of Jimin’s mouth while his teeth nibbled on Jimin’s quaking lips and only stopped for the brief seconds it took him to whisper a series of increasingly naughty nothings. “You like that, baby?” “Does that make my needy boy feel good?” “You’re so pretty when you’re wrecked, my pet…” How was he able to focus on delivering pleasure in so many ways when Jimin wasn’t even able to focus on receiving it? 

Hoseok had been holding himself steady above Jimin for a while now and his arm was beginning to shake. Jimin didn’t notice the pressure of Hoseok’s grip on his wrists as Hoseok leaned his entire body on them but when Hoseok finally released them, he felt the blood rush back into his hands and knew he’d have bruises tomorrow. 

Hoseok rolled off of Jimin and released his member and Jimin whimpered at the loss. Jimin was too close. He needed to cool him down a little or it would be over before he could really show him how good it could get. He moved to the head of the bed and leaned casually against the headboard. Jimin sat up slowly, his eyes fixed on his hyung--his Oppa. He looked other-worldly and for a second Jimin couldn’t help but think he must be so stupid not to have seen it all along. Hoseok’s eyes were hooded and they were so effortlessly seductive. His powerful jaw, so sharp and authoritative was raised haughtily like a king and his heart-shaped lips, which were usually the epitome of sweetness and mirth were slick and swollen from their hard work making them look so perfectly kissable. It was such an erotic image and Jimin thought he wanted to put his lips on him and never remove them again. “Jimin-ssi,” Hoseok said, bringing Jimin’s attention back to the moment. “Come take my pants off.” His deep voice was husky and firm and looked exactly like the type of voice that this wild, powerful man in front of him should have. 

Jimin crawled across the bed to Hoseok hurriedly, anxious for whatever was coming next. He curled his fingers around the waistband of Hoseok’s pants and pulled them down in a rush. Hoseok’s erection sprung loose from the silk fabric and he watched confidently as Jimin examined it. Jimin’s eyes widened. Hobi-hyung was bigger than Jimin thought he had felt through his pants. Jimin had seen Hobi before but never hard like this and what a difference it made. There was a thick vein pulsing on the underside of the shaft and the ridge of his bulbous head was thick and pronounced. Jimin’s face flushed when he thought about what Hobi might feel like inside of him. 

“Put your mouth on it.” Hoseok’s voice became even huskier. Jimin’s wide eyes flickered up to Hoseok’s who was watching him intently. Jimin had every intention of obeying eagerly, but as he leaned closer to Hoseok’s cock, he was distracted by his abs glistening with a sheen of sweat. He remembered that he had made a promise earlier to kiss his way down Hoseok’s stomach and once the thought popped into his head, he didn’t have the control to do anything else. Jimin pressed his hot lips against the top of Hoseok’s bare abs. He pulled away for a moment and ran his tongue over his lips, noting the salty-sweet taste of Hoseok’s sweat. Moving slowly, he continued down Hoseok’s stomach planting a sensual trail of kisses along the way, savoring each bulge of muscle he passed over. He could feel Hobi shiver under him and he relished the fact that it was his lips eliciting that reaction from him. When he got to just above his shaft, he looked up at his Oppa who shook his head. “So greedy.” Hoseok chided him, but the look in his eye was possessive and fond. “Go on.” Jimin smiled cheekily and tentatively licked the side of Hoseok’s shaft. Gingerly, he kissed the very tip. It was saltier than the sweat and had a cloying taste that Jimin couldn’t place and that he honestly didn’t find all that pleasant. Jimin looked again at Hoseok who encouraged him to continue with a nod. Jimin opened his mouth and took Hoseok in. 

Jimin was hesitant in his movements. He’d never given anyone head before and he wanted to impress Hoseok. More than that. He wanted to please him. To make him feel even just a fraction of the pleasure he’d given him. But Jimin didn’t really know where to start. He knew what he, himself liked so he tried to replicate what he would want done to him. He went to work sucking and licking and kissing, concentrating on the pressure he was applying and the speed of his strokes. He tried to hollow his cheeks as best as he could and push himself down onto Hoseok but he felt his throat start to close and backed off. He focused his attention instead on Hoseok’s head and stroked the rest of his length with his small, hot hands. He smiled around Hoseok’s cock when his clumsy effort earned him a moan of approval from his Oppa.

Hoseok was proud of how well Jimin was doing. It wasn’t the best blow job of his life but it was pretty good. And Jimin looked really good giving it to him too. He kept peeking up at Hoseok from behind his blonde hair to make sure his Oppa was satisfied and Hoseok made sure to show Jimin he was enjoying himself. 

But Hoseok was having a hard time focusing on the blow job. His mind was otherwise occupied. If Jimin had been anyone else--or if this hadn’t been his first time with Jimin, Hoseok would be running an entirely different scenario right now. Jimin had flat out disobeyed him--kissing his chest after he was told to suck him off--that was a huge no-no. Hoseok smiled at the thought of the punishment he would be inflicting on his sweet, soft Jiminie had he not promised to go easy. Jimin was undisciplined and greedy and Hoseok imagined it would be a treat to be the one to break him in. But for this one-night affair, it was best to just let it slide. 

So instead, Hoseok watched Jimin’s lips lustfully as they moved up and down on him. He had such great lips. Soft and plump and pink, and glistening with a mix of his favorite lip gloss, his own spit, and Hoseok’s precum. His apple-cheeks puffed and hollowed as he sloppily bobbed his head, and his eyebrows were pulled together in concentration. Hoseok appreciated the effort the younger was putting in. It was so cute. “Jimin-ssi,” Hoseok interrupted Jimin’s performance, “come kiss me.” Hoseok beckoned Jimin to him with his finger. Jimin pulled his mouth from Hoseok’s cock, a thick string of drool stretching between his lips and Hoseok’s tip. Jimin blushed, embarrassed at the mess he made but then his eyes crinkled into a smile. Hoseok thought it looked ridiculously out-of-place for this particular moment. How could his freshly fucked face look so so adorable? 

Jimin wiped his mouth and wasted no time crawling on top of Hoseok, their bare cocks brushing against each other at last. Jimin moaned at the sensation. He couldn’t help himself--distracted from his assignment once again, he stopped on top of Hoseok’s member, threw his head back, and began to grind against him. 

Patience was one thing but Hoseok needed to make sure Jimin knew who was in charge. As fucking amazing as Jimin’s hips felt pressed against his, he couldn’t let him get away with this again. He raised his right hand and slapped his disobedient dongsaeng hard on the ass. Jimin yelped in surprise and fell forward onto him. Hoseok kneaded Jimin’s ass where he had slapped it (a spot he didn’t have to see to know was bright red from the contact) and grabbed a handful of Jimin’s hair with his other hand. “I said kiss me,” he growled.

They shared an intense gaze--just like the one at the photoshoot, each seeing each other again for the first time--but this time Hoseok didn’t have to imagine fucking Jimin and Jimin wasn’t just flirting anymore. Jimin nodded frantically, as much as he could with Hoseok’s fist tightened in his hair. He wrapped his hands around Hoseok’s face and, with one last look at his completely edible lips, Jimin crushed his mouth against him, desperately. 

The two intertwined themselves, hands and lips exploring each others’ bodies sometimes sweetly and sometimes more aggressively. Kisses, bites, caresses, scratches...Hoseok uttered commands while Jimin obeyed and begged for more. They moved together to a song of their own making, perfectly in sync, as if the two dancers had choreographed their encounter.  

Hoseok wasn’t sure how long their dance went on for, too wrapped up in the texture and taste and smell of Jimin’s skin, but he became aware at some point that his young partner was exhausted. His body was shaking, he couldn’t hold himself up for longer than ten seconds, his mouth moved less intentionally instead just finding purchase wherever they could with what little strength remained in them, and he seemed like all of his senses were overwhelmed. Hoseok had built endurance for this but Jimin just couldn’t keep up anymore so for his sake, Hoseok decided to push forward. He broke away from Jimin and climbed off the bed, pulling his guest off after him. He walked Jimin over to the dresser and placed both of his hands on it. “Stay,” he ordered, pressing his lips to Jimin’s ear. Hoseok chose this position because the mirror above the dresser would allow him to see Jimin’s face and allow Jimin to see his, too. It would help them learn each other’s rhythm and preferences (though they already seemed to be in a natural sync). Hoseok walked back over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom and the lubricant. Jimin watched, wide-eyed, as Hoseok sheathed himself. 

Hoseok walked back over to Jimin and repositioned him so that Jimin’s hands were gripping the edge of the dresser. 

Jimin heard Hoseok dispense the lubricant and then felt Hoseok’s hands on his ass. Jimin panicked--this was quick. Too quick. He wasn’t ready.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Jimin said, recoiling into the dresser. 

Hoseok looked startled and concerned and put his hands up as an indication that he was waiting. “Are you okay, Jiminie?”

Jimin’s breath was coming in short pants. “I’ve never...done this before…” he explained, his face flushing as he avoided Hoseok’s eyes.

“Oh, you’ve never…oh.” Hoseok knew that Jimin was relatively inexperienced, sure. But he’d never have guessed that Jimin had never been with a man. He seemed so comfortable up until this point that Hoseok had assumed he’d done all of this before at least a couple of times. The thought caused Hoseok to hesitate. If he had known he might have tried a little harder to talk himself out of doing this...but it was too late for that. If this was Jimin’s first time--the least he could do was make him as comfortable as possible and make sure he enjoyed the experience. Hoseok put his arms around Jimin in a reassuring back hug. “That’s okay, Jimin-ssi. We can stop. Or we can finish another way.” The situation had changed now and Jimin needed him to be his Hyung as much as his Oppa. But honestly, Hoseok wanted so badly so be inside Jimin and he felt like he would lose his mind if he couldn’t. Thankfully, Jimin seemed to be of the same mind.

“No, no, no.” Jimin insisted, “I want to try it this way. I want to feel you in me.”

Hoseok groaned, almost taking him right there. He ran his hands up and down Jimin’s chest, digging his fingers into his skin, and pressed a hot, needy kiss against the nape of his neck. But he wanted to make sure Jimin was confident in his decision. “Are you sure? It’ll be fun no matter how we do it.” Hoseok said, hiding his face behind Jimin’s back so he couldn’t see him gritting his teeth in the mirror.

Jimin was determined. “No, I’m sure. This is what I want.” And he did. Feeling Hoseok hard against him, clutching him tightly, nibbling on the most sensitive parts of his neck was amazing...but it wasn’t enough. Not even close. He wanted all of him. “But…”

“Yes?”

“Will it hurt?” Jimin asked softly.

Hoseok smiled sympathetically at Jimin in the mirror and gave him a soft kiss on his bare shoulder. “Yes, Jiminie. But just a little and only at first. And then it will feel impossibly good.” Hoseok turned Jimin a little to look him in the face. “But I promise I’ll go slow and be gentle and, if you’re not enjoying it at any point, just tell me and I’ll stop, no problem, okay?”

Jimin smiled gratefully. “How lucky am I to have an Oppa who takes such good care of me,” he said softly before turning around again and bracing himself on the dresser. The prickle of anticipation that had fled in fear was returning to him at Hobi’s promise. 

Hoseok was grateful in that moment too, to be able to share this experience with Jimin. He leaned forward and kissed Jimin again on the back of his neck, recapturing the sexy mood they had stepped out of in favor of vulnerability. He nibbled at his nape, moaning softly, and letting his lips linger on his warm skin. He worked slowly to get Jimin warmed up again, running his hand down Jimin’s chest to grip his cock and whispering his name into his ear as he caressed his lobe with his tongue. Jimin’s head fell back and he began to grind against Hoseok, pushing his ass against Hoseok’s stiff member. Hoseok felt Jimin twitching in his hand and knew he was ready to get on with it. “Okay,” he whispered against Jimin’s ear. “We’ll start with just one finger.” Jimin inhaled eagerly and nodded.

Hoseok put some lube on his long middle finger and pushed it gently against Jimin’s hole, circling it around the rim. Jimin was already shivering in his arms--but whether it was from fear, anticipation, or pleasure, he couldn’t tell. Jimin probably couldn’t either. Hoseok used his free hand to pull Jimin’s cheeks apart. He slid his finger in and watched hungrily as Jimin closed up around it. Jimin started squirming immediately. He was so tight. And warm. Hoseok moved in slowly but before long, Jimin had swallowed his entire finger. He pulled it out and pushed it back in a few times, fucking Jimin gently until it slid in and out without much resistance. Jimin was breathing hard and an occasional “ooh!” sound escaped his lips.“I’m going to add a second,” Hoseok said to Jimin. “How are you feeling?”

“It feels mostly really good, Oppa.” Jimin exhaled. He felt a second finger join the first and he grunted as he was stretched uncomfortably. It wasn’t so much painful as it was weird. It was a weird sensation. And a weird idea. There were fingers in his ass. That’s weird, right? There was no sensation he could think to compare it to even. But Hoseok promised it would feel good--and enough people did it and kept doing it that he must be right. Jimin told himself to relax and trust his hyung. After all that Hoseok had done for him tonight, he had no reason to believe his Oppa would let him down.

As Hoseok’s fingers made a little more room for themselves, he turned his palm up and curled his fingers in Jimin slightly. He moved them in and out, trailing his fingers along Jimin’s velvety interior trying to find the soft bundle of tissues that would set him on fire. Suddenly, Jimin’s knees buckled and he cried out as he clung to the dresser for dear life. He looked like he had been zapped with a cattle prod. Hoseok grinned. ‘Found it.’ Jimin was still moaning in surprise. The sound was driving Hoseok crazy and he was so desperate to bury his cock in him but Jimin was still so tight. “I’m going to add a third, Jiminie,” he said. Jimin winced as Hoseok’s third long finger pushed its way into him. He let out a long, torturous sound that was somewhere between a moan and a cry as he felt impossibly stretched again. Jimin didn’t understand the sensation. There was so much pleasure. Blinding pleasure. Every time Hobi’s fingers massaged or jabbed at that spot he saw white and he tingled all the way down through his toes. But there was pain now too as he was stretched further, as his fingers moved deeper. But was the pain detracting from the pleasure or enhancing it? The combination of the two was overwhelming and all he knew was that he would never get enough of it. 

As Hoseok’s fingers slid more and more easily in and out of Jimin, he felt himself growing more anxious to be inside him. Jimin was still pretty tight but he thought he was lubed up and stretched out enough that he could move on to the real thing. He wasn’t going to be able to create much more space anyway. Hoseok’s cock twitched at the thought. He was throbbing from want and, to be honest, even if Jimin could use a little more time, Hoseok wasn’t sure he could wait any longer. 

“Are you ready, Jimin-ssi?” he whispered, eagerly.

Was he? Jimin was scared but he was also so full of need. Hoseok’s fingers still felt uncomfortably invasive but they also felt so good. Even if Hoseok’s bigger size and longer length felt more painful, it would likely feel exponentially more wonderful, right? That was good enough for Jimin. “Yes,” Jimin said through gritted teeth. He clenched his hands on the edge of the dresser and closed his eyes tightly.

“No, no.” Hoseok said. “Relax. And keep your eyes open. I want to see how you’re feeling.”

Jimin took a deep breath and tried to release all the tension from his body. He found Hobi’s eyes in the mirror and gave a slight nod to let him know he was ready.

Hoseok’s smile disappeared. He looked resolute now. Hungry. 

Jimin thought it was strange to keep seeing such a hard look in Hobi’s eyes. The smiley, happy Hobi he knew was nearly lost entirely to the strong, passionate man in the mirror. But every once in a while Jimin caught a flash of a more familiar face--a curve of a lip, a twinkle in his eye..it was comforting and somehow made each moment more intimate. 

Hoseok placed one hand on Jimin’s hip and used the other to guide himself into Jimin slowly, going just a little at a time. Jimin was still very tight but, thanks to his work and a generous amount of lube, Hoseok was able to slide in quite smoothly nonetheless. He heard Jimin grunt and felt him tighten around him. “Relax.” Hoseok gently reminded Jimin, rubbing small circles into his lower back.

Hoseok was right, it was painful. More painful than the fingers. The tip was especially hard. But Hoseok said it would pass so Jimin focused on relaxing his body and breathing while Hoseok pushed further into him. Moments later, Jimin felt Hoseok’s pelvis press flush against his cheeks and Jimin moaned in relief. “How do you feel?” Hoseok asked through gritted teeth. He was sweating from the exertion of self-control. The heat and the pressure he found himself entirely immersed in was almost too much for him. All he wanted to do was furiously fuck Jimin this second but he made himself wait and that patience was taking its toll. 

“I feel full, Hobi--Oppa.” Jimin grunted again. “So full.” Hoseok slowly pulled himself out and then began to gently pump in and out of him. By the fifth or sixth thrust, the pain had ebbed and by the tenth or so, Jimin noticed it starting to feel good. Another pass and Jimin could feel how stimulating it was. Every time the ridge of Hoseok’s tip dragged across that magic button, a jolt of electricity flashed through him. It made him weak but also desperate for more. In his own face in the mirror, he saw awe and bliss. He looked at Hoseok who was panting and sweating from the measured pace he was restricting himself too, and gave him an exhilarated smile. Hoseok was able to muster a proud grin in return but his teeth were still firmly clenched behind it and his brows never managed to unfurrow. Jimin leaned forward a little, his body loosening up as it became more accustomed to the pace and size, and he began to move his body in rhythm with Hoseok’s, encouraging him to go deeper and faster and, for the love of god, to keep hitting that magic spot.  

Hoseok was relieved that Jimin was enjoying himself. He was enjoying himself too. Jimin felt so good around him and the sounds he was making were so erotic--moaning and panting and swearing through his staggered breaths. And fuck, did he look amazing. Jimin’s pretty face, reflected in the mirror, was contorted with pleasure, mouth hanging open, eyes half-lidded, then clenched, then wide, then rolled back into his head as every sensation crashed over him in waves. 

“Oppa,” Jimin spoke, his voice raspy and broken. “Harder, please.” 

Hoseok huffed, excited. He’d been taking it as easy as he could, not wanting to give Jimin more than he could handle--though Hoseok was starting to get the impression that Jimin was fully capable of handling a lot more than he’d assumed. But as determined as he had been to be patient and gentle, he’d hoped that Jimin would ask for more. Now that he had, he was going to give his dongsaeng everything he had in him. He slid his hand up Jimin’s back and pushed him down so he was laying flat on the dresser. He grabbed his wrist and used it to pull one of his arms behind his back to hold onto. He grabbed Jimin’s other hand and brought it to his ass, directing him to pull his cheek open further so Hoseok could get even deeper. Grabbing Jimin’s hip with his free hand, he continued thrust in and out, again and again increasing the pace and the depth with each thrust. Jimin moaned and panted in time with the thrusts as the dresser banged against the wall. Hoseok raised his hand and brought it down hard against Jimin’s ass cheek causing Jimin to yelp.

“Oh, yes, Oppa, harder!” Jimin screamed with each thrust. “Spank me, Oppa!” Jimin’s cries were music to Hoseok’s ears. He was close, Hoseok could tell. He pounded into Jimin, jabbing his tip against his sensitive prostate each time and he didn’t slow his pace or stop slapping Jimin’s ass as he drove him closer and closer to orgasm. “Oh, Hoseok! Hoseok!” Jimin gasped, his eyes blinded by a white light and his body tensing harshly. Hoseok felt Jimin convulse repeatedly and then shudder beneath him as he climaxed, thick ribbons of cum splattering on the dresser and floor. As Jimin’s orgasm rippled through him, Hoseok continued thrusting, racing toward his own end. It didn’t take long. He could feel it thundering forth, propelled by the memory of Jimin screaming out his name when he came and the mindless whimpers he was making now. He pumped one final thrust into Jimin and exploded. He spasmed from the strength of his orgasm--one of the most intense he could remember--and he clung tightly to Jimin while the world around him darkened for a second. 

The two stood there together, still attached, gasping for air and swearing a string of profanities, enjoying their shared euphoria. When their breathing eased a little, Hoseok pressed his lips gently against Jimin’s sweat-dampened back and pulled his drained cock out slowly. Jimin looked weak, his knees wobbling like a new foal. His ass was cherry red from Hoseok’s hand, his arms were limp like noodles and he was just barely managing to hold himself up against the dresser. Hoseok slipped his arm around Jimin’s waist and helped him to the bed. He set him down softly and ran to grab him a glass of water from the bathroom. 

While in the bathroom, Hoseok took the time to carefully hide his very full, used condom. Now that they had finished, he was already fending off a paranoia that someone was going to find out what they’d done. He wrapped the condom in some toilet paper and hid it carefully under some tissues in the bathroom garbage. As long as no one was looking for it, certainly no one would see it. 

Hoseok returned to Jimin with water. He was lying on his back on the bed, still beautifully nude, with his eyes closed and a giant smile plastered across his swollen lips. He opened his eyes as Hoseok approached. “Thank you,” he said. “For the water and...the other thing.” 

Hoseok returned his smile and crawled in next to him on the bed. “Thank you , Jimin-ssi.” He pulled Jimin into his arms, their sweaty skin clinging to each other. Jimin laid his head on his chest and Hoseok played with his hair, absent-mindedly twirling the soft strands between his fingers as they spoke. “So what did you think?” He whispered, pressing a kiss into Jimin’s temple. 

Jimin didn’t know where to start. From the time they started it was hard for him to think anything for more than a couple of seconds. It was a whirlwind during and a blur now. All he remembered was bliss and fire. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, tried to capture even a moment of it. How exactly did Hoseok’s hands feel on his hips? Amazing, wonderful, fantastic, he knew. But how strong was his grip? How hot were his fingers? He hoped he would be able to pick out more details after his head cleared a little and he came down from this high. 

Hoseok thought it was impossibly cute how he could see Jimin searching through words as he thought. Hoseok understood the struggle though. If Jimin had asked him to articulate how it was for him, he wasn’t so sure he’d be able to come up with poetry either--and this was far from his first time. 

Jimin finally settled on “It was perfect,” but the words felt so insufficient. “More than perfect. Really, it was mind-blowing, Hobi. And magical, and...just...better than anything I ever imagined,” he tried, then frowned. Still not enough. 

Hoseok beamed at him with a smile that could power Seoul for a week. “Oh, such strong feelings, Jiminie!” he gave him a fond squeeze. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I really did too!”

Jimin looked up at him, an eager half-smile on his face, “You did? So I did okay?”

“Jimin, you were the best.” Hoseok said that to everyone. But he was surprised to realize as he said it that this time, it felt like the truth. Jimin was amazing. Even in the few places where his technique was a little lacking, he compensated for it with enthusiasm and charisma. Honestly, his presence drove Hoseok wild. He thought he could probably get off just watching Jimin take his clothes off at this point--which he realized could be a problem in the days ahead. And even the way he said “Oppa,” sent shivers down his spine. Jimin actually was the best he’d ever had--and he didn’t really know how to feel about that. He looked down at his dongsaeng who was smiling up at him proudly. “I really mean it, Jimin,” he added, sincerely. “You’re sure never done this before?” 

Jimin shrugged settling his head back on Hobi’s warm chest. “I mean, not with another boy. I tried a couple of times with girls but, honestly, I didn’t like it as much as I was supposed to…”

Hoseok squeezed him, sympathetically. He knew too well how hard Jimin had tried to be the “manly,” girl-crazy stud he thought he was supposed to be. It was a box Jimin never fit into comfortably and he had tortured himself over that for years. Somewhere along the way, but not all at once, Jimin had found a way to comfortable exploring who he might really be and he was becoming more and more confident with himself everyday.  It made the rest of Bangtan really happy to see. “Boys are a lot more fun, huh?”

Jimin blushed, “You are, at least.” 

Hoseok laughed. 

They were silent for a long time, Hoseok running his hands through Jimin’s hair affectionately and Jimin tracing little doodles on his hyung’s bare chest. Hoseok felt himself drifting off, exhausted from the late hour and the hard work and at ease in the comfort of the moment.  

Finally, Jimin spoke. “Jungkookie,” he murmured against Hoseok’s chest.

“Um? Hoseok.” 

“No, no,” Jimin smiled, sitting up. “Jungkook will be coming back soon probably so I shouldn’t be here, right? Or not like this, at least?” He motioned to their nakedness. 

“Oh, he’s not coming back tonight.” Hoseok said. “I called over and told him I needed sleep so not to wake me when he came in and he offered to stay with you and V. They’ll be expecting you back then though, yeah?

Jimin shook his head. “I was going to sleep in the practice room. That’s where I was headed you know, when I ended up here.”

“How did that happen? The practice room is on the other side of the building.”

“I know. I was as surprised as you, believe me.” Jimin shrugged.

“Must be my animal magnetism.” Hoseok smiled smugly.

“Something like that,” Jimin laughed. 

“So...I guess you’re staying here tonight, then?” Hoseok asked awkwardly.

“I don’t have to. I can go to the practice room. Maybe that would be better...”

Jimin stood up and Hoseok reached out quickly to grab his wrist. “Don’t be silly, Jimin-ah. You can sleep in Jungkook’s bed.” They looked at each other awkwardly. “Or, you could share my bed, I guess.” Hoseok offered. He wasn’t exactly keen on the idea because he wanted to make sure he and Jimin set clear boundaries straight away but he felt like it would feel weirder for them to sleep in the same room in different beds or to kick Jimin out. Hoseok’s priority was to make sure no one found out what they did but it was almost equally as important to him that their strong friendship didn’t suffer at all either. They needed to stay comfortable with each other and that started now. 

“Is that weird for you?” Jimin asked.

‘Yes, but ’ Hoseok thought. “Think of it this way, Jimin,” he argued. “If you had come here and we had just goofed around and you didn’t want to leave, would you fall asleep in Jungkook’s bed or share mine?” 

Jimin didn’t even have to think about that one to know he would have shared Hoseok’s. First of all, Jungkook hated to share and he hated people in his bed. So out of respect for Kookie, Jimin probably wouldn’t have slept in it. Second, Hoseok and Jimin were cuddle-buddies. They never passed up an opportunity to snuggle a little. They would have shared a bed just for the comfort of it and it wouldn’t have been the first time. 

“Exactly,” Hoseok said, seeing Jimin come to the same conclusion he had. “If we didn’t sleep in the same bed it would be weird. And it doesn’t have to be weird, Jimin. It shouldn’t be weird. We can be normal about this.”

Jimin nodded in agreement but he had a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be as easy as his hyung was trying to make it seem. Could they be normal about this ? It felt anything but normal to him. He was still riding a high from the sex but Jimin had no idea what would be left when he came down. What sort of emotions would surface and linger? And for how long? Still, all they could do for now was try to get some sleep. Together. In the bed they had just fucked in...Jimin sighed. “Pajamas though, right?” 

“Yeah, just in case someone comes to wake us or something.” Hoseok agreed. 

The two got dressed again, crawled back into bed, and turned off the lights. They didn’t cuddle though. Not tonight. In fact, they left about a foot of space in between them. Hoseok listened to Jimin’s slow breaths and flinched every time he heard it catch or hiccup. Jimin was already so worried. His anxiety was almost tangible. It made Hoseok’s heart seize up a little.  

“Hobi?” Jimin whispered in the darkness. “Are we going to be alright?” he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. 

Hoseok’s face scrunched up, and a stab of something that felt a lot like guilt hit him right around his stomach. He reached his hand out, frantically passing it over the bed between them until he finally found Jimin’s hand. “Jiminie, we’re going to be fine. Everything’s going to be fine. This was a good thing, you’ll see.” He brought Jimin’s hand up to his lips and pressed a firm kiss into it, willing them both to believe his words. “I promise.” 

Jimin didn’t say anything but Hoseok felt him squeeze his hand in gratitude as he sniffled softly.

“Goodnight, Jiminie.”

Chapter Text

Hoseok awoke (too early, if the lack of light coming in from the window was any indication) to the sound of soft rustling. He opened his eyes slowly and let them adjust to the dim light emanating from the lamp on his bedside. He shifted slightly and groaned when he felt his body protest. It took him half a second to remember why he was so sore but then a smile spread across his face and he turned quickly on the bed toward his guest. But to his surprise, the space beside him was vacant. He sat up, casting his eyes around the poorly lit room and found Jimin at last near the bathroom. He was already dressed and seemed to be looking around for something.

“Jiminie?” Hoseok called, his voice a little raspy. “How are you?” 

“Fine,” Jimin mumbled. He didn’t even turn in Hoseok’s direction and his voice carried a slight quiver. 

Hoseok’s heart fell and he was hit with a sharp stab of guilt—much more penetrating than the dull pulses of it he felt last night. Jimin was upset, he could tell. His brow was furrowed and he kept scrunching his face like he was blinking back tears. He kept his eyes down and his head stooped low and he was careful not to even face the bed where Hoseok sat. He was very upset. Hoseok wished he could pinpoint the why so that he could offer some reassurance. Was he afraid someone was going to find out? Feeling stupid or regretful, or embarassed because of what they had revealed of themselves to one another? Maybe he was feeling ashamed for behaving so recklessly? Hoseok could certainly understand that. Any of it. In the light of day, with a clear head, the scotch and the pheromones all burned away, he felt a little ashamed and embarrassed too. But he didn’t regret it--at least not the sex part--and he wasn’t scared at all. They were going to be fine and no one was going to find out. He just needed to make sure Jimin knew that too. 

“Jimin-ssi,” Hoseok cooed, soothingly, “Can we talk? Let’s talk.”

Jimin still kept his eyes down as he continued frantically gathering his things. But either he’d grabbed everything he was looking for or he’d just decided that anything left would just have to wait because he bolted toward the door. “I have to get to the practice room,” he mumbled, pulling it open. Jimin was gone before Hoseok could even get out of bed. 

“Jiminie!” Hoseok called after him as the door slammed shut. “Agh,” He growled in frustration, falling back into his bed. “Yeah, I fucked up,” he said aloud. “I really fucked up.”

 

*** Jimin ***

Jimin couldn’t get out of Hoseok’s room fast enough--he honestly hoped it was the last time he would ever have to set foot in there. As the door shut behind him, he immediately felt the tears he’d been fighting back begin to fall down his face. He was so embarrassed . His whole face was burning with shame, so hot that even his tears felt cold trickling down it. What had he done? “Stupid, stupid!” He clenched his fist so hard, his long nails left marks in his palm. He propositioned Hobi. He marched to his room and confessed his fantasy to him. He’d gotten naked in front of him. He’d begged him to touch him and kiss him and fuck him. Hobi had put his fingers in him. Hobi had... cum ... in him . And he’d let him know exactly how much he’d enjoyed it. Jimin cringed and shook his head as he practically ran to the locker room. Not only was he mortified that he’d been so shameless, he had barely slept last night worrying that they wouldn’t be able to hide what they had done. He was sure the other boys would sense their awkwardness, his shame. Jimin knew his indiscretion was written all over his face.  

As soon as Jimin got to the locker room, he stripped his clothes off as fast as he could. He jumped into the shower and let the hot water pummel him. It was a cruel irony that last night he had begged to be able to remember every tiny detail of their tryst because this morning he couldn’t keep the very-specific, visceral memories from playing through his head over and over again like an erotic slide show. He just wanted to wash away every bit of what he had done and forget the way it had all made him feel. The impossibly good way it made him feel...

After five minutes under the water, Jimin felt himself start to calm just a little. The sound of the water rushing past his ears and the sensation of the thousands of drops of water scratching against his skin helped dull every horrible thought he had about himself. Hot, high-pressure showers always did that for him. Another five minutes passed and, despite the heavy weight of shame and embarrassment settling deep in his chest, he was starting to listen to the small voice that told him what was done was done and he’d just have to find a way to live with it. He sighed. Easier said than done . Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he could look Hobi in the eye at this point. What kind of brothers did the kind of things they did to each other? He couldn’t stop thinking about what Hobi must think of him. Jimin loved him, respected him so much...he must be so disappointed. Jimin reassured himself that, whatever Hobi thought of him, at least it couldn’t be worse than what he thought of himself. 

 

*** Hoseok ***

Hoseok made his way to the practice room, shuffling reluctantly down the hallway. He’d procrastinated getting out of bed so long that he was just barely going to make it on time. But the last thing he wanted to do was go face the many, many mistakes he’d made last night and apologize. Not because Jimin didn’t absolutely deserve an apology--but because he felt so guilty he didn’t know what he could possibly say to make everything okay again. He’d spent a lot of time thinking this morning. About Jimin. He was sure that Jimin had a good time last night. He had been certain that Jimin knew what he wanted was enthusiastic about it. But Jimin couldn’t even look at him this morning. Which made him feel that much worse for enjoying it so much. He shouldn’t have been so forward. He knew that Jimin was someone who lived to accommodate others. He knew that he looked up to him and cared about what he thought. He should have been more responsible with that power. Hoseok groaned as his stomach churned again. 

When Hoseok arrived in the practice room, he looked around for Jimin. He found him sitting on the floor stretching. He looked like he’d just showered. He must have gotten ready in the locker room this morning. Hoseok started to move toward him but his step faltered when Jimin turned his head and he got a look at his face. It was jarring to see him in this familiar environment after being with him in such a different way last night. The Jimin in this room was his best friend--his kid brother, someone he’d built nearly a lifetime of innocent memories with. Last night’s Jimin, the one from his bedroom, was a passionate, wild, erotic man. It was hard for him to reconcile the two. What he was left with was the realization that he was sexually attracted to his dongsaeng and, while he couldn’t remember that bothering him last night, it made him feel gross today. And it made him feel even guiltier about Jimin’s obvious discomfort this morning. It hadn’t occurred to him last night that there would be awkwardness. Why should it have? Before last night, sex was sex was sex. And no strings meant no strings. But apparently it wasn’t and there were. How could he not have considered that having sex with his dongsaeng would be different than having sex with some anonymous pretty face? Stupid, selfish, irresponsible .

He started toward Jimin again, hoping to at least catch his eye and smile to let him know that, as far as he was concerned, everything was okay but their choreographer had joined them and was calling for everyone to take their places. Jimin walked right by Hoseok on his way to his spot. “Jimin?” Hoseok whispered trying to get any acknowledgement but Jimin didn’t even spare him a glance. Hoseok’s shoulders fell and he shook his head again, another ripple of guilt roiling him. 

Hoseok spent all day watching Jimin, trying to catch his eye but Jimin was expertly avoiding him. The two didn’t speak except within the group and then not directly to each other. Hoseok tried a couple of times. He’d make a comment about the choreo or make a silly “Hobi” sound, trying to get any acknowledgment from Jimin but Jimin mostly let his remarks hang. Hoseok stopped eventually, not wanting to make his dongsaeng any more uncomfortable than he had already. 

Miraculously, no one seemed to notice anything. Normally even small changes in chemistry or mood were felt by the entire group. Namjoon once compared their unit to an old fairytale called the “Princess and the Pea.” Bangtan was the princess and any bit of stress or conflict or awkwardness felt by or between the members was the pea. It couldn’t be ignored, everyone could feel it, and it would make for many sleepless nights until they got rid of it. But either Hoseok and Jimin got lucky today or Namjoon’s theory wasn’t perfect. Hoseok wasn’t stupid. He knew that, if he and Jimin continued to be less than their usual sunshine-selves with each other it would raise flags...but for now, it seemed like they were doing enough to at least not call attention to themselves. 

Still, Hoseok needed to talk to Jimin. Check in on him. Make sure he wasn’t terribly, horribly angry with him. And, most importantly, that he wasn’t terribly, horribly angry with himself. That would go a long way in making Hoseok feel less guilty. He hoped so anyway. If he could catch him alone.

 

*** Jimin ***

Jimin wiped his face with a towel, dabbing away the sweat that had accumulated from the last couple of hours of choreo. The dancing had been a work out but avoiding Hoseok had sapped his energy even more. It was so difficult to do without being obvious about it. It didn’t help that Hoseok was actively trying to get his attention all day. The funny thing was, even if Hoseok didn’t know it, Jimin’s attention hadn’t left him for a second. 

From the moment Jimin first saw Hoseok in the practice room, his emotions had been in chaos. This morning he was so overwhelmed with shame that there was no room to process anything else. But as the day went on, the embarrassment and awkwardness Jimin had felt about being intimate with his hyung faded significantly and by now was obscured by the same desire that had gripped him all day yesterday. Not entirely obscured, by any means. He’d gotten stabs of shame and embarrassment all day--each time following a particularly “Hobi” moment. But when Hoseok danced, he was much less of his endearing hyung and so much more his intensely passionate and domineering Oppa. 

‘Oppa.’ Each time he said the word in his head he felt tingly again. All day, Jimin’s mind drifted back to last night. With every detail he replayed, the embarrassment ebbed and eventually he had no choice but to acknowledge how much fun he’d had. How exciting it all was. The orgasm. Good god, he’d never felt anything like that before in his life. He fought the thought all day, choking it out before his mind could complete it each time but eventually, he couldn’t deny it... he wanted to do it again . Desperately. That’s why Jimin was working so hard to ignore Hoseok. He was sure the others had noticed he was being a little cold and distant--Hoseok definitely had--but Jimin felt like it was the only safe bet. His emotions were all over the place and, if a cold shoulder was a red flag, an unexpected hard-on was a dead giveaway. 

 

*** Hoseok ***

Hoseok finally got his chance to talk to Jimin when their dance practice ended for the day. As he was leaving the studio, he noticed that everyone had followed him out except Jimin which meant Jimin was alone in the practice room. Pretending like he’d left his phone behind, he circled back. 

Just as Hoseok expected, he found the younger dancer alone in the room. He watched him for a second from the door and allowed himself a moment to acknowledge what he’d been thinking all day. His feelings about Jimin hadn’t changed, really. He loved Jimin the same way he’d always loved him. But, Hoseok’s perception of Jimin had changed drastically and that was complicated to grapple with. For one, there was definitely a new attraction. He’d always appreciated that Jimin was sexy and charming. But now he really saw it. He felt it. 

Yesterday, he wouldn’t have believed he could know Jimin better than he already did. They were brothers after all. They’d been through everything together. But he knew Jimin differently now. Intimately . And, yes, it was somehow better . Jimin seemed much more grown up and powerful than he had yesterday.  Seeing him in this light--where he was a magical sexual creature, a man with whom he’d had the best sex of his life and not just his favorite dongsaeng was unsettling to say the least. Yes, things had changed between them. Hoseok hoped it would only make them closer in the long run. If they could just get past all this tension.

“Jiminie?” Hoseok called tentatively, his voice echoing across the open room. 

Jimin turned and a wide smile spread across his face. Hoseok felt relief wash over him, a weight lifting immediately off of his chest where it had sat all day, and he returned the smile eagerly, grateful for Jimin’s comforting gesture. He put his hands in his pockets and approached him. 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Hoseok said. “You left in a hurry this morning.” He decided not to mention the subsequent 10-hour cold shoulder.

Jimin blushed. “Yeah,” he laughed, shyly, “Honestly, I panicked a little.” As he brushed his hair out of his face, Hoseok noticed a bruise on Jimin’s wrist. He reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it to him for a closer look. They both bristled slightly at the physical contact, acknowledging an electricity that hadn’t been there before.

“Jimin?” Hoseok ran his finger over the purple marks delicately, “Did I do this?”

Jimin blushed again, “Yes,” he giggled but Hoseok frowned, a pit growing in his stomach. 

“It’s really okay, Hobi. It doesn’t hurt.” 

Hoseok let go of Jimin’s hand, still frowning, the weight returning to his chest. He’d been so rough with him. If he’d seen those bruises and he hadn’t been the person who put them there, he’d want to beat up the asshole who did. But he was the asshole . He was the one who hurt his dongsaeng. And it was a gut-wrenching realization. “Well, I’m still sorry,” he said quietly. “Try to keep those hidden, though.”

Jimin nodded, “I will.” He pulled his sleeve down over his wrist. “I think we did okay today,” he said, changing the subject, “you know, playing it cool.” 

Hoseok nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I mean, it was a little awkward, of course, but no one seemed to notice. It’ll get easier.”

Jimin’s eyes lit up a little at the implication. He smiled brightly, “Yeah,” he agreed eagerly.

“It’s still fresh so it’s a little uncomfortable, but in a few weeks, it’ll be a distant memory and we’ll both be back to normal.” Hoseok continued reassuringly. “Like it never happened.” 

A look flashed across Jimin’s face but disappeared before Hoseok could read it. 

“A distant memory…?” Jimin echoed. Did Hoseok not want to do it again? Didn’t he enjoy it? Wasn’t I okay? The rejection stung. Especially after Jimin had spent so much time today reliving how great it was for him. It hurt his pride that it had apparently been so one-sided.

“A pleasant memory, of course.” Hoseok smiled. He meant his tone to be encouraging and kind but Jimin’s sudden chill gave him pause. “Anyway…” Hoseok continued, awkwardly,” I just wanted to say that I had a really great time last night…”

It felt like an empty consolation. If he’d had such a great time, why was he so content to make it a one-time thing? Jimin looked at the floor and bit his lip to keep it from trembling. 

Is Jimin crying? Hoseok’s heart dropped as he felt confusion and concern bubbling up in him. He tentatively put his arm on Jimin’s shoulder and bent over to try to catch his avoiding eye.

“I mean it, Jimin-ssi,”-- why did it suddenly hurt to call him that...? “--it was really special.” Hoseok watched what he could see of Jimin’s face but he couldn’t tell what was running through Jimin’s mind. He didn’t get to ask either because, at that moment, they were joined by the BigHit cleaning crew who had come to polish the studio floor. 

Jimin was grateful for the interruption and took the opportunity to escape Hoseok’s impending interrogation. He grabbed his bag and fled, knowing Hoseok wouldn’t stop him with so many people around. 

Jimin was right. All Hoseok could do was watch Jimin leave and wonder what had happened. “What did I say?” 

 

*** Jimin ***

Jimin felt a tear roll down his cheek and hurried his pace, hoping to get to his room before he was overcome entirely. Jimin wasn’t sure why he was so upset. It’s not like he’d gone into last night with expectations. Hell, until they were on the bed touching each other, he hadn’t even imagined they would have sex. Why would he expect that it was anything more than a heat-of-the-moment, one-night stand? 

But it had been so mind-blowing for him and he thought he and Hoseok had such incredible sexual chemistry that he’d managed to convince himself this was something they’d both want to explore further. He felt like he needed to know this darker side of Hobi and this darker side that Hobi brought out in himself. 

But apparently Hobi didn’t feel the same way. He had been so nonchalant when he’d said they’d forget about this. Like it was nothing to him. Jimin couldn’t bear that. It didn’t seem fair to have just a taste--one incredible taste--and then never again. How could Hobi just write him off like that? 

Jimin arrived back at his room and he threw his bag and himself onto his bed, burying his face in the pillow. He let out a muffled yell feeling frustrated in more ways than one. 

But... maybe Hoseok was right . A casual sexual relationship would be so difficult to pull off without getting caught. Maybe impossible. They were never alone and they were always on camera. It would be a miracle if the boys didn’t catch any change in their chemistry. It would be a huge risk--not just for Jimin and Hoseok, but for the group. If something went wrong, they’d take the whole team down with them. Wasn’t it entirely fair if Hoseok didn’t think having sex with him was worth all that? 

Afterall, Hoseok hadn’t asked for any of this. It was Jimin who had gone to his room and propositioned him . All Hoseok did was give in. Jimin knew--he’d always known--that Hoseok didn’t take sex seriously at all. It was just a fun thing he did when he had some extra time or when the mood struck him or when he was bored. Boys, girls, celebrities, staff, strangers--Hoseok just liked to have a good time. And Jimin knew that going in. Why should he have expected Hoseok to treat this any differently just because he was Jimin? That wasn’t fair. Maybe Jimin should just be grateful for the experience. Afterall, what did Jimin have to offer Hoseok? Hoseok had been with so many desirable people. He could have anyone he wanted. Someone much less complicated and much more experienced than himself. 

If Hoseok wanted to just put it behind them, if that one time was enough for him--that was his prerogative. And maybe it was for the best. Jimin let out a long sigh. He was disappointed but he tried to focus on being grateful that it happened at all. Now he just had to find a way to move on and forget about it. 

But Jimin quickly found out that that was so much easier said than done.

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, try as Jimin might, he just couldn’t stop thinking about his night with Hoseok. He had revisited every detail of their tryst countless times. His mind lingered on the way Hoseok had kissed him, on the feel of Hoseok’s hard member against his, on the taste of him...He told himself to stop thinking about it. It wasn’t going to help. Hoseok wasn’t going to change his mind and he was just tormenting himself. 

But it was impossible, especially when he watched him dance. Hoseok was so powerful. His body was strong and his movements graceful and Jimin couldn’t help but remember how much stronger and more graceful it looked bare. 

Nothing worked. All he could think about was the way Hoseok made him feel. It consumed him and overwhelmed him and it was starting to affect his work. He couldn’t concentrate during practice. He’d lost his appetite and he couldn’t sleep without waking up painfully hard. He felt like he was going through puberty again. 

So Jimin resorted to the same method he’d tried the day after their affair--avoiding Hoseok altogether. He wouldn’t be alone with him or engage him at all because he wasn’t sure he could keep himself from just flat out begging Hoseok to fuck him again. But the distance wasn’t as effective as he needed it to be. It gave him too much time to think, to fantasize and he felt himself becoming more and more on edge. He found himself not just reliving what he and Hoseok had already done, but imagining other things he and Hoseok might do. To each other. For each other. He was even dreaming about him. Every moment, waking and asleep was occupied by salacious thoughts of Hoseok. 

The more he tried to fight it, the more irritated he got with Hoseok. Jimin knew it wasn’t fair but it was easier to deal with the anger than the insecurity and sexual frustration. And honestly, Hoseok seemed so unconcerned by Jimin’s state. In fact, the more irritable and withdrawn Jimin became, the brighter Hoseok seemed to everyone else. It was hurtful and enraging. 

There were moments throughout the next few days when Jimin thought he could detect some stress beneath Hoseok’s sunshine and it made him wonder if he was going through something similar to what Jimin was. At first Jimin shook it off as him just being stupidly optimistic but one afternoon he caught Hoseok staring at him during rehearsal. It was a stare Jimin had seen a million times from countless boys and girls. Full of undeniable lust and hunger. It took Jimin aback for a moment because it seemed so blatant. And when Hoseok noticed Jimin watching him, he’d blushed and tripped over his feet. He wants me too . The revelation made Jimin angry. If Hoseok was attracted to him, why was he fighting it? Why was he so content to write Jimin off as a one-time-thing? They could be having so much fun together and however it might change their dynamic or complicate their relationship, certainly neither of them would be worse off than they were now. 

He thought about confronting Hoseok but he wasn’t sure how to do it and, while he was convinced he was reading Hoseok right, he didn’t know if his pride could survive being wrong. It just didn’t feel dignified to go to him a second time. But if this sexual frustration kept building, Jimin might just say to hell with his pride and dignity and crawl to his Oppa on his knees. 

 

*** Hoseok ***

Hoseok watched as Jimin deteriorated in front of him all week, growing sicker with worry every day. Jimin came around less and less, only joining the group for practices. When he did show up elsewhere he looked tired and pale. His energy was low and Hoseok had overheard Tae telling Jungkook that Jimin was hardly sleeping. He didn’t even join them for lunch anymore. Hoseok was exhausted trying to keep a smile on his face but he knew if he went down too, the others might rightly assume their moods were connected. All he wanted to do was talk to Jimin--to make everything okay again. To hug him and hold him and see his crinkly eye-smile. But Jimin had managed to avoid him all week, running away whenever he approached him or engaging someone else in a conversation so Hoseok couldn’t speak freely. This couldn’t go on. He couldn’t live with Jimin being so miserable. Especially when it was all his fault. 

My fault.’

It was a thought Hoseok had screaming in his head every waking minute these days. Jimin was upset--with himself, with Hoseok...who knew? Either way, Hoseok was responsible for it. He knew better than to sleep with Jimin. Hoseok recalled for the 100th time the conversation he’d had with himself while Jimin was in the bathroom that night. He knew he couldn’t handle something like this. Even Hoseok wasn’t immune to the residual feelings that night had left. The fluttering in his stomach when he heard Jimin laugh, the jump in his heart when he saw Jimin smile...the tightening in his pants when he watched Jimin dance. And most of all, the guilt that plagued him when he remembered that it was his dongsaeng eliciting these feelings. If he was feeling all of that, he couldn’t imagine what Jimin--who had done all that for the first time and had so much less experience filtering and deciphering these types of emotions--was dealing with. 

He’d considered all of these consequences while he waited for Jimin that night but he’d dropped all of his concerns the second he saw him in that towel and given into his lust against his better judgement. Of course, he couldn’t have known that Jimin would be this affected but still, he knew it was a mistake before they even started. He was the hyung. He had a responsibility to his dongsaeng and he betrayed that. In fact--he’d exploited their relationship. It had actually almost heightened his arousal to think of Jimin as his dongsaeng. It made him feel even more powerful and in control. But now it made him feel predatory and gross. He took advantage of their relationship and Jimin was suffering because of his poor judgment.  

The guilt in and of itself was bad enough. But the shame was almost worse because it always followed a flood of pleasure--poisoning it. The shame hit whenever he caught himself fantasizing about Jimin. He’d never been someone who lingered on the intimate details of an encounter. He just assumed it would be the same story for his night with Jimin. But it was so much the opposite. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jimin’s body, his lips, his butt, his thighs, his stomach, his erotic moans, his pleading eyes...The other day as he was lying in bed he caught himself stroking himself as he recalled the way Jimin had sucked him off. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he stopped, but he shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. He wasn’t supposed to think about Jimin like that. It was wrong to think about Jimin like that. 

He just needed to talk to him. There was too much unresolved tension. The stress, the friction, the confusion--it was bad for both of them. He needed a plan to get Jimin alone, face-to-face. It was the only hope they had to get things back to normal.

 

*** Jimin ***

“Aggh,” Jimin growled, rolling over in bed, feeling his erection press painfully against his damp pajamas. This was the fourth day in a row he’d woken up like this thanks to yet another sexy dream about his hyung. He threw back the covers and ducked into the bathroom, taking care not to wake up Tae, and jumped in the shower. Jimin stood there for several minutes, letting the cold water trickle down his back as he fought to keep his mind from drifting, as it so frequently did these days, to Hoseok. It was a losing battle and Jimin was helpless as his hand wandered to his cock. As image after erotic image flashed through his mind, he began stroking himself firmly. Behind his eyelids, Hoseok was unbuttoning his shirt slowly, pushing him onto the bed and pinning his hands above his head. He slapped his ass sharply--a punishment for his disobedient dongsaeng. Jimin squeezed his eyes together more tightly and now Hoseok was standing behind him, gripping his hip and fucking him into the dresser...Jimin let out a quiet moan and bit it back, pulling his lower lip into his mouth with his teeth. 

Jimin couldn’t get used to this level of arousal. It’s not that he was super inexperienced. He’d fooled around enough to know how everything worked. But he’d never felt the way Hoseok had made him feel. He’d never tried anything so...aggressive and physical. It electrified him. It had felt so natural and that really surprised him because he’d never done anything like that. He’d only passingly considered that it might interest him. But the parts of the night that Jimin revisited most frequently were the parts where Hoseok--his Oppa--had been particularly dominating. His voice when he gave orders was so firm and husky. And the orders were so direct and final. They made him feel helpless and humiliated. And he couldn’t get enough of it. “Go take a shower.” “Sit on the bed.” “Just watch.” “Hands up.” Every instruction ushered another wave of fire into his veins. 

Jimin also loved how Hoseok looked at him. The way he devoured him with his eyes. The way he looked like he was appraising him and evaluating him. It was so possessive but affectionate and it made Jimin willing to go to any lengths to please him. 

Most of all, he loved how physical Hoseok was with him. The way he shoved him onto the bed and pulled his hair and pinned his hands and bit him and spanked him and fucked him roughly into the dresser. Every hint of pain Hoseok inflicted somehow both relieved and escalated the tension and all Jimin could think was that he wanted it harder, rougher, sharper. 

“Harder, Oppa,” Jimin whispered into the crook of his elbow as he stroked himself faster, “fuck me harder.” He could almost feel Hoseok’s hands on him. “Please fuck me harder, Oppa!” Jimin gasped and then groaned as he released onto the shower tile in front of him. He leaned against the wall, catching his breath as the water poured over him. “Aiish, Hoseok,” Jimin whispered to himself, “what are you doing to me?”

This torment was unending. And it wasn’t going to get any easier today. After practice, the group was going on a little trip and he was going to be trapped on a yacht with Hoseok all afternoon. Somehow he’d have to grit his teeth and get through it without either hitting Hoseok or sticking his tongue down his throat.  

 

*** Hoseok ***

Today was the day. No matter what, Hoseok was going to talk to Jimin. Even if he had to catch him and tie him to a chair. The group had a day trip planned after their morning practice but Hoseok wanted to talk to him before because he doubted he’d get a chance on the trip and they needed to resolve their tension at least a little or there was no way it wouldn’t come to a head in some way. So during dance practice, he took Jimin’s phone out of his bag and hid it in his pocket. As he expected, Jimin was the first to run out of the studio. Hoseok hung back waiting for Jimin to realize his phone was missing and come looking for it. He didn’t have to wait long--Jimin came back into the studio about 10 minutes later. He crossed the room to where his bag had been but froze when he saw Hoseok in the mirror. Hoseok stepped quickly between Jimin and the door, preventing him from making an exit. Jimin huffed, resigned, and slid against the wall to the floor. Hoseok had planned carefully what he wanted to say but as he looked into Jimin’s pained face, everything he’d practiced evaporated and he found himself on his knees, desperately apologizing.  

“Jiminie, I’m so sorry.” His anguish read all over his face. All of the guilt that had been eating at him for days came spilling out. Guilt about Jimin’s loss of appetite and lack of sleep. Guilt about the bruises and the bite marks. Guilt about the trust he’d broken. “I knew better. I never should have let that happen.” 

Jimin glared at him but remained silent as Hoseok continued. “You know, I had myself talked out of it,” he said. “When you were in the shower...I talked myself out of it. I told myself it was irresponsible and reckless and that it would put you in a position you wouldn’t be able to handle. But then you came out of the bathroom and you just looked so....” Hoseok felt his breath catch and a heat spread through his lower body at the memory. “...and you were so eager…” Hoseok shook his head. “But I’m the hyung. I knew better and still, I was so selfish. I should have been more responsible. I betrayed your trust. I took advantage. And I’m so, so sorry I let it happen, Jiminie. I’ll never let it happen again. I’ll never touch you again.” Hoseok buried his face in his hands, praying to hear Jimin absolve him and assure him that he was going to be okay. 

But Jimin just glared at the floor and shook his head. He looked cross. “I don’t want your apology, Hoseok.” How could he be so oblivious?

Hoseok flinched. Jimin was cross. Aside from the other night, in the throes of passion, he never used Hope’s real name. Hoseok thought it sounded unnatural coming from his mouth. 

“You don’t get it,” Jimin snapped. “I’m not upset that we had sex. I’m upset that you keep saying it won’t happen again.”

Hoseok slowly raised his head from his hands, his face morphing from anguish to confusion and then to something resembling bewilderment. Jimin wanted to do it again? Of all the thoughts he imagined were plaguing Jimin, he wasn’t expecting this. The thought sent a confusing jolt of electricity through him. “What?!” was all he could manage to sputter. 

Jimin still didn’t look at him. He was glaring across the room at nothing in particular and tearing a piece of paper into small bits in his hands. His hackles were up and he felt defensive. But it was out now. And he couldn’t take it back. He held his breath, bracing himself for his hyung’s response and praying it was kind.

“Are you insane?” Hoseok continued. “This whole week has been emotionally exhausting, Jimin! When we aren’t overthinking and second-guessing any interaction we’re forced into having, we’re avoiding, ignoring, or being almost hostile to each other. Neither of us are focusing on our work. You’ve withdrawn from us entirely. And you want to do it all over again?!” Hoseok told himself to be sympathetic but he was angry at the audacity of Jimin’s suggestion. He was admittedly relieved that Jimin apparently didn’t hate him or regret anything but this was almost worse.

And there was another fear that gripped Hoseok all of the sudden. He was terrified by the temptation Jimin had just presented. Hoseok had thought a lot about what he and Jimin did-- a lot --but he hadn’t considered doing it again for even a second. He had been operating under the assumption that the best he could hope for was somehow getting Jimin’s forgiveness for the awful thing he had done. But if Jimin was asking for more...if he wanted to do all of those beautiful, dangerous things again...Hoseok’s sensible side was in control at the moment but, now that it was on the table, well he wasn’t sure he could withstand the temptation for long. 

Hoseok let out a frustrated growl. “How can you even think something like that, Jimin? What good could possibly come of that?”

Jimin, who had remained motionless while Hoseok ranted, whipped his head toward Hoseok, turning his glaring eyes on him finally. What good could come of this? Wasn’t the sex enough good to come of this? It was for Jimin. He didn’t say anything. He just scoffed incredulously and looked away again.

Hoseok was taken aback by the anger on Jimin’s face. It didn’t suit him. He supposed his anger must look unnatural to Jimin, too. Hoseok took a deep breath to calm himself. Yelling at Jimin wasn’t the answer and it wasn’t fair. My fault. If he hadn’t crossed that line, if he’d just sent Jimin back to his room, neither of them would be hurting like they were. Neither of them would be contemplating making a decision that would take them down such a dangerous road.

“Please, Jiminie,” his voice had softened and he sounded almost apologetic. He hadn’t expected to have this conversation so he didn’t know what else to say. He never expected that Jimin would want to do it again. “It’s better if we just forget it ever happened and go back to how it was before.” 

“Go back to how it was before?” Jimin spoke finally, venom dripping from his tongue. He stood up and Hoseok followed him to his feet. “Is that really something you can do, Hoseok?” Jimin rounded on him. “If so, you’ve got to tell me how. That was the best night I can ever remember spending. I can’t even look at you without thinking about how it felt to have your hands on me. How it felt to have your lips on me.” 

Hoseok swallowed hard. He remembered too. He remembered every second--every sensation--so clearly. It wasn’t like it was easy for him to play it cool either. But what choice did they have?

Jimin stepped even closer to Hoseok, closing the space between them to mere inches. “Every time I accidentally make eye contact with you, the wind is knocked out of me, and my body physically aches with need. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep because I know the only thing that will satisfy me anymore is you.” Jimin’s face was barely an inch from Hoseok’s now. “I want you,” he breathed, “and you want me too, I know it. So if you want me to feel better, stop pretending like I’m being irrational and start helping me figure out how we’re going to make what happened Monday night, happen again. And again. And again.” 

Hoseok wasn’t breathing. Jimin was so close. He could smell the musk from Jimin’s workout mixing intoxicatingly with his cologne. He could feel the heat radiating off of his body as his warm breath caressed his clavicle and it was making him tremble. All he would have to do is bend down a little and their lips would touch. If he leaned just an inch forward, their chests would press together. How long they stood there, breathing each other in, clenching and unclenching their fists, chewing on their own lips, neither of them could tell. But before either of them could act--either with passion or panic--they were interrupted by Yoongi. 

“Are you guys coming or not?” he yelled across the room. “We’re all waiting on you.” He waved them over and rolled his eyes. “What are you even doing?” he muttered turning to leave, not looking for nor caring about an answer. 

Jimin stared at Hoseok for a moment longer before finally tearing his eyes away. Hoseok exhaled slowly. He felt like he had been released from a spell. He almost reached out to grab Jimin back but he regained enough of his senses to stop himself just in time. 

“Oh, my phone?” Jimin said, turning back around and holding out his hand. 

Hoseok cleared his throat and pulled it out of his pocket. “Sorry,” he said, handing it back.

Jimin gave Hoseok one last lingering look that sent a rush of blood to Hoseok’s member and walked out of the room.

Chapter Text

Alright , Hoseok told himself. I am wildly, sexually attracted to Park Jimin. Who wouldn’t be? He couldn’t get over the feeling the proximity to Jimin had triggered in him just now. It was like fire in his blood and he was semi-hard already. Just from a look. ‘Is this how Jimin felt that night?’ he wondered. Hoseok had found Jimin’s behavior that night so out of character for him. Jimin had confessed that it was insatiable desire that had driven him to Hoseok and Hoseok had laughed at the hyperbole of it. But now he felt like he understood. He would walk a year to drink from the oasis of Park Jimin if it quenched the thirst burning through him right now. 

He walked to his room in a daze and gathered his things. The group was going to spend the day on a private yacht. No filming. No fans. Just them and their trusty staff soaking in some sun and taking a break. After their brutal schedule the last few months, they deserved it. As he cooled a little, the heat of the moment in the studio fading from a blazing fire to a low, steady burn, he felt grateful for the opportunity to get away. This day trip might be a good time to reset things and get his mind right after all that had happened. Surely part of his Park-fever was due to being cooped up in the building. He needed some sun and some drinks and some fresh air to clear his head. A cute deck-hand or two probably wouldn’t hurt either. 

The problem is, Jimin would be right there with him. Half-naked. Wet. Flushed from the cocktails. And he was cute when he was tipsy too--dancing around, giggling, his lisp became more pronounced and his hands became a little more daring. He’d be absolutely unbearable. Hoseok groaned and slung his packed bag over his shoulder as he walked out of his room. 

When he got to the lobby only Namjoon and Yoongi were there already. Of course . “Thought you said you were all waiting on us.” 

Yoongi, who was slumped far down in a big chair, eyes closed and hands in his oversized hoodie, just shrugged at him. 

“I sent him to grab you.” Namjoon said. “I stupidly assumed our maknaes--and yes, I’m including Jin--would be down here already.” 

The three sat in uncharacteristic silence as they waited on the other four. Jin was the first to come down, a pink tube already inflated around his waist and a floppy hat with a brim as wide as his shoulders perched on his head. Namjoon let out a laugh of surprise and endearment when he saw him. Jin spun around to show off his look and laughed at his own charm, clapping his hands together loudly. 

Tae and Jungkook thundered down the stairs together, racing into the room. “First!” the younger exclaimed as he landed gracefully. Tae objected. “No, I was definitely first. You have to do the skinny dip.” Their hyungs looked at them. 

“Technically neither of you were first.” Yoongi interjected, still looking very much asleep. 

Tae and Jungkook looked at each other and shrugged. “So I guess we both dip…” Kookie said, accepting Yoongi’s compromise. 

“Where’s Jimin?” Namjoon asked, noticing they were still down a member. 

Hoseok looked up. Where’s Jimin?

“He’s not coming, hyung.” Tae reported. 

There was a chorus of “what?”s and “oh?”s from the group. 

“He can’t ‘not come.’” Jin said, incredulously. “That’s not how we work. How do we BTS without Jimin?”

Yoongi was wide awake now, “Hey, if he doesn’t have to go, then I shouldn’t have to go.”

Taehyung interjected with a calm and kind tone. “Jimin’s going through something, Namjoonie-hyung. Let’s let him be.” 

All of the members looked to their leader for the final call. Trust Namjoon to know what’s best--the real secret to BTS’ success. So many companies tried to recreate what BigHit had captured but there could never be another BTS because Namjoon and his leadership and artistry were completely unique. They were lucky to have him. “We’ll leave him be,” he said it and it suddenly seemed to the rest to be the right answer. “We’ve all noticed Jimin has been distracted lately. A day in to himself will help get him back on his feet.” Namjoon hesitated. “I think one of us should stay with him though.” 

Yoongi was on his feet. “ME. I’ll stay.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes, “Yoongi, we need someone to keep an eye on Jimin and be a comfort to him if he needs it. Not someone who will sleep all day in his studio. Plus, you need some sunshine asap--I can hardly see you against the studio walls.” 

Jungkook and Jin cackled as Yoongi slunk back to his chair, grumbling the whole way.

Tae volunteered next but Namjoon thought the maknaes needed to go have some fun. Namjoon felt bad for them whenever a tough work schedule came up because they had lived so little of their youth outside of BigHit. Any chance they had to be carefree and out from under the watchful eye of the camera helped ease Namjoon’s conscience. 

He thought about asking Jin, whom he knew would do it graciously, but he took one look at the way Jungkook was clinging to Jin’s arm and he knew the maknaes would be really disappointed if he didn’t come. It occurred to Namjoon that Jin had probably had the same thought which is why he hadn’t already volunteered.

“I’ll stay,” Namjoon said. He’d promised Bang PD he would make sure the guys took it easy and enjoyed themselves and they both knew the boys always felt more comfortable with their leader around. It’s not that the boys couldn’t be without him but they were just more...at ease when he was around. But he hated to ask any of his brothers to do it instead when he knew better than anyone how much they each needed it.

A chorus of “no”s followed. “Namjoonie, you can’t,” Suga said. “You need a break more than any of us.” 

Hoseok had been deep in thought since he heard Jimin wasn’t coming. He felt sad. As much as he was dreading a day on a luxurious yacht with a half-naked Jimin, he was also desperately looking forward to it. He kept thinking about Jimin in his towel and replaying Jimin’s whispered “I want you” from their tension-filled conversation in the studio. In the moments before Jin had entered the room, he had even briefly imagined taking Jimin into the lower levels and pinning him against the wall of a maintenance closet...So as soon as Tae said Jimin was staying behind, he thought about volunteering to stay too. He didn’t want to seem too eager but it would give them a chance to talk. It would give them a chance to be alone together...“I’ll stay.” he said, standing up. Everyone fell silent and looked at him for a beat before breaking into a round of cheers. 

“Yeah! Hobi can stay!”

“Great idea.”

“Thanks for volunteering!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Wow. Thanks guys,” but he chuckled lightly, knowing they were joking. 

Namjoon walked over to Hoseok and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” Hoseok said. “It makes the most sense and I can find a way to have a good time here,” he shrugged, “you know me.” 

Namjoon smiled at him. “Thanks, Hob-ah. Keep me apprised of how Jimin’s doing and try to have a little fun, at least.”

Hoseok nodded. 

The others grabbed their gear and headed out. 

Hoseok watched them leave, his mind racing. There were a million reasons why he shouldn’t have stayed behind. Why he shouldn’t have trapped himself in a mostly empty building with Jimin. A million reasons why he and Jimin should just stay away from each other. But, if they both wanted it, why shouldn’t they indulge? Why punish themselves? Why fight it? Every valid, serious concern that popped into his head was cast unceremoniously aside as he thought about Jimin alone in his room. He felt his heart start to pound a little erratically, and his ears pulsed along in rhythm. 

As soon as their car pulled away, Hoseok turned on his heel and started walking toward Jimin’s room. His pace quickened with each step until he was basically sprinting through the abandoned building. Breathless, he arrived at Jimin’s door. He hesitated for just a second, too short a time to think about what he was doing and then raised his fist and pounded on the door. He didn’t stop until Jimin pulled it open, startled. Hoseok noticed his eyes were red and there were streaks running through his makeup. 

“Hyung...what--?” Jimin stuttered.

“Are you alone?” Hoseok demanded.

Jimin, still surprised, nodded yes.

But before Jimin had even finished the gesture, Hoseok was on him.

Chapter Text

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s face roughly with one hand as he entered the room and pushed the door shut behind him. He pressed his lips hard against Jimin’s, teeth knocking together in the rush, the momentum of his body moving them both further back into the room. His other hand found purchase on Jimin’s left hip and he used the grip to pull him hard against him. Jimin’s lips were impossibly sweet-- how were they so sweet? --and Hoseok devoured them hungrily. 

Jimin reacted to the unexpected kiss instinctively, winding his arms around Hoseok’s narrow waist and pushing his hands underneath his shirt, fingers tracing his spine. 

Hoseok didn’t want to take his hands from Jimin’s face and hip but his jacket was taking up far too much of the space in between them. Without breaking their kiss, Hoseok released Jimin’s face and pulled his jacket from his shoulders revealing a thin white t-shirt that hugged his arms and shoulders so perfectly. Jimin, emboldened by Hoseok’s urgency and his desire to see the muscles under that barely-there white tee, moved his hands to its hem and lifted it over his head and off. He laid his hands on Hoseok’s bare chest, running his fingers over his abs recalling the path his lips had traced there just days ago, and sighed into his mouth. His skin felt hot under his fingers and it was dewey with sweat. 

Not ten seconds had passed since Jimin opened the door and he hadn’t even begun to process what Hoseok was doing here. He knew, of course, what he was doing here--eating Jimin’s tongue, at the moment-- but what did it mean? And why had he changed his mind so quickly? An hour ago, Hoseok was calling him crazy and telling him this was a terrible idea, and Jimin was crying into his pillow and wondering how he could possibly face his hyung ever again. But Jimin didn’t care to think about any of that now. He’d never felt the hunger he was feeling in this moment--not even the other night. The desperation was almost burying him and the only way to keep his head above it was to keep touching and kissing and pulling and sucking. He had craved this for five long nights now and he was going to savor every second.

Hoseok, still intensely locked in a deep kiss with Jimin, was fumbling with the buttons on Jimin’s shirt now. He hadn’t thought about how far this was going to go but he knew enough to know that Jimin’s shirt had to go. Impatient and impassioned, he settled for ripping the last four clasps. Hoseok pulled the shirt from Jimin’s shoulders and buried his face in his neck. He smelled so good--like honey and peaches. Hoseok scraped his teeth against Jimin’s soft skin, nipping at the divot above his collar bone and causing Jimin to gasp in pleasure and curl his hands into Hoseok’s hair. Hoseok wrapped his long fingers around the side of Jimin’s neck as he ran his lips across his shoulder, tracing a line with his tongue as he went. He pushed the younger back with his body even further until he fell onto the bed behind him. 

Hoseok stared down at the pretty blonde boy taking him all in from his eyes, wide and bright, to his lips parted and slick with both of their spit, to his stomach, tight and heaving with short, desperate gasps, and finally to his pants where a bulge was evident against the light denim of his jeans. Hoseok had a fleeting torn moment--should he stop now while he had some measure of restraint left in him and enough objectivity to see how stupid this was? The thought passed before he’d even finished it. He wanted this too badly--he needed it, sure--but he wanted it. He wanted him . Hoseok dropped to his knees in front of Jimin and unbuttoned his jeans quickly with a practiced flick of his fingers. “Shit,” he heard Jimin exclaim under his breath. Hoseok wrapped his fingers around the waistband passing his thumbs over Jimin’s lovely hip bones, and pulled his jeans down so forcefully, he almost lifted him off the bed. 

Hoseok didn’t hesitate. As soon as Jimin’s erection was released from his briefs, Hoseok wrapped his lips around it and gave it a hard suck.

Jimin let out a loud moan as his head fell back in ecstacy. “FUCK,” he gasped, his vision blurring. He had never felt anything so pleasurable in his life. He had gotten off to the thought of Hoseok’s mouth on him a dozen times this week but, in his wildest dreams, he didn’t imagine it would feel like this. That Hoseok would be so skilled. His tongue moved fast and curled around the ridge of his head, flicking at the sensitive skin just below it. 

As Jimin rolled his head forward, he locked eyes with Hoseok. His gaze was piercing. So fierce and powerful. Even from a subordinate position--on his knees with a cock in his mouth--Hoseok was entirely in control. Jimin felt paralyzed. His mouth was frozen into a wide “o” and his brain was screaming a series of increasingly crass profanities. His hands were clenched into fists so tight it would be painful if he was able to process any sensations other than the one’s caused by Hoseok and his godly mouth. At the moment he was entirely unable to do anything but enjoy the pleasure his Oppa was offering. 

Hoseok’s fingers dug into Jimin’s strong thighs as he slid his tongue furiously around his shaft and sucked on his sensitive frenulum. He could feel Jimin trembling under his hands. Hoseok hollowed out his cheeks and the hot, wet pressure against the bulk of his shaft was too much for Jimin. He rutted his hips upward and Hoseok pulled back to avoid the jab. Hoseok slid his hands up Jimin’s thighs, wishing he could linger there longer but Jimin was jerking his hips forward again so Hoseok moved his hands to his pelvis and pushed them down into the mattress. Jimin got the message and tried to control his urge to thrust into Hoseok by gritting his teeth and pushing his hands into Hoseok’s hair, tugging at the dark curls there. It didn’t help much. His blood was pumping, his member throbbing, and the restraint by Hoseok’s strong hands was only turning him on more.

“Oppa, I’m c-ah--close.” Jimin choked. He was having a hard time thinking coherently, let alone forming words. Hoseok ignored him. He knew he was close--he could feel it, taste it on his tongue. He continued to slide his lips up and down his shaft, anyway. Jimin was shuddering into a puddle, trying with all his might to stave off the earth-shattering orgasm he could feel rising up in him. He didn’t want it to end so quickly and he felt sure that Hoseok would want him to wait until he was in him to finish. ‘This is a test,’ he thought, and he didn’t want to disappoint him. “Oppa,” he gasped, trying to warn him again, “I’m going to cum.” Still, Hoseok carried on, staring Jimin dead in the eyes while he drew him even further into his mouth. “Hoseok,” Jimin almost sobbed, his head falling back again, “I can’t…” and he couldn’t. Spurts of hot cum hit the roof of Hoseok’s mouth and he didn’t even flinch as he felt it pile up on his tongue and against the back of his throat. Jimin’s body convulsed and his muscles contracted as his orgasm ripped through him. It was almost a full minute before Jimin collapsed onto the bed drenched in sweat and eyes fluttering madly. 

With a final suck, Hoseok got to his feet and spit the contents of his mouth onto Jimin’s tight stomach. He grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him off the bed, watching the mixture of saliva and cum drip down his toned torso. He wrapped both of his hands around Jimin’s face roughly and kissed him hard, sloppily smearing some of the cum left on his tongue onto Jimin’s lips, before pushing him to his knees. Somewhere a voice in his head was reminding him to be gentle, to take it easy on this fairly inexperienced kid but he barely heard the warning over the pounding of his blood as it thundered through his body. 

Hoseok began to undo his own belt buckle--his erection was at full strength now and trapped  uncomfortably under too many stiff layers of fabric. Jimin, still dazed from his orgasm, understood what was happening and finished pulling down Hoseok’s jeans and briefs. Hoseok was rock hard, veins popping along his thick shaft. Jimin rose up on his knees a little to reach and put his hands on the back of Hoseok’s strong thighs. 

“No hands.” Hoseok chided.

Jimin quickly put his hands behind his back and Hoseok groaned at how readily Jimin followed his instructions. How was he so good at this? It was almost too easy to forget he was new to all this...

Hoseok impatiently pressed his tip to Jimin’s lips, which parted immediately to accept him. He moaned as he felt the wet heat of Jimin’s mouth envelop his pulsing member. “Ah, yes, Jiminie, mmm,” he growled as Jimin bobbed up and down aggressively. He was significantly less tentative this time, Hoseok appreciated. He seemed to be concentrating on the work a little less but his tongue hit just the right spots with just the right amount of pressure. He was a quick learner--he seemed to have already picked up a few tricks from what Hoseok had just done on him. Then Jimin took Hoseok in deeper. Hoseok shivered as he watched his slick lips stretch obscenely around him. Jimin couldn’t quite get all the way down--they’d have to work on that--but as his throat spasmed around Hoseok’s head, he gagged loudly and the sound electrified the elder. “Fuck, Jimin, yes.” Hoseok grabbed a handful of Jimin’s pretty blonde hair and held him in place as he thrust in and out of Jimin’s mouth. Hoseok’s tip hit the back of Jimin’s throat and it closed up around it again. The intense reflex wasn’t pleasant but it excited Jimin anyway. He didn’t understand why having a cock thrust roughly and painfully into his mouth was so goddamn exciting but he didn’t have to. He just wanted his Oppa to give him more. 

Jimin choked and sputtered and Hoseok thought about letting up but Jimin was clearly enjoying it. He could tell by the way Jimin began to stroke himself and the way he moaned every time he had the breath to, that he liked it rough like this. Hoseok did too. In fact he felt his orgasm building rapidly. Too rapidly. He was close already but he wanted to finish in Jimin so he pulled his dick out of his mouth and replaced it with three of his long fingers. Jimin’s mouth closed around the digits automatically and he gagged again as Hoseok scratched the back of his throat with them. Hoseok looked down at Jimin sternly his eyes burning with a madness just barely under control, “I didn’t bring any lube so you better get my fingers extra wet or you’re pretty pink hole is going to be in for a rough time.” Hoseok bit down on his lip as soon as he said it and cringed. Those words were for his random, one-night stands with people who wanted it hot and fast and rough. Not for his fragile, inexperienced dongsaeng. So much for going easy. He caressed the side of Jimin’s face and leaned over, opening his mouth to apologize but Jimin didn’t seemed concerned. In fact, he redoubled his efforts and moaned around Hoseok’s fingers, urgently lapping at each of them. Fuck, he liked that too . Hoseok couldn’t help but smile fondly at his surprisingly naughty Jiminie. “So perfect.” He purred softly. He lifted Jimin to his feet with his fingers. He wanted him now.  

Hoseok pulled his fingers from Jimin’s mouth and spun him around, pushing him toward the bed. He dipped down to grab a condom out of the wallet in his jeans pocket and then followed behind him, pulling him into position with one foot propped up on the bed and the other left on the floor. Jimin braced himself with the frame at the bottom of the bed as Hoseok pushed his head down to the mattress and pulled his ass toward him. Hoseok pulled on the condom and rubbed Jimin’s spit over it. While he lubricated himself as best as he could, he leaned over and spit directly onto Jimin’s hole. He pressed his tongue into the tight ring and spit once more into the small gap he created. Jimin was writhing on the bed beneath him at this new sensation. “Fuck, Hobi!” he swore. He felt a finger replace the tongue and then a second one and he moaned in pleasure as his hyung worked to scissor him just a little wider. It probably wasn’t enough but this was as stretched and lubricated as Jimin was going to get and, frankly, the sounds he was making were rushing Hoseok to a quick end. He couldn’t wait any longer. Gripping Jimin’s hips, he pushed into him slowly. Once, twice. Painfully aware of the friction that burned both he and Jimin. Every time he pulled his dick out, he added more spit to their natural fluids until his mouth was dry and he was able to slide in and out of the boy below him without too much resistance. It still was rough but not painful enough to detract from their pleasure.

Jimin growled through gritted teeth as the force of each of Hoseok’s pumps tore at him and pushed his head into the bed frame. How could something so painful feel so pleasurable? Jimin found himself squealing and swearing in chorus with Hoseok. He knew they were being loud but Jimin couldn’t make himself stay quiet. Neither could Hoseok who was shouting “FUCK” every time his pelvis slapped against Jimin’s plump cheeks. Thanks to the rough blow job and the preparatory fingering, Jimin was hard again so Hoseok was working overtime to make sure he held it in until Jimin was ready to cum again. He didn’t have to wait long. Between the sharp, steady slaps of Hoseok’s palm against his ass, the dirty, demanding, profanity-littered whispers spilling out of his mouth, the abuse his prostate was taking as his hyung jabbed it repeatedly with his tip, and his own firm grip stroking his cock in rhythm with Hoseok’s thrusts, Jimin was already gone. 

Jimin screamed that he was cumming and Hoseok, groaning at the sight of his possessed, fucked-out dongsaeng, followed right behind. He pummeled Jimin’s ass with his hips at a frantic pace as he exploded with incredible force deep within Jimin. He knew they would both have bruises from the effort tomorrow. He hoped he could kiss each and every one of Jimin’s better. Hoseok was so lost in the high of his orgasm that he hadn’t noticed Jimin had cum too until he saw the aftermath on Jimin’s sheets. Oh, Tae’s sheet’s actually. Hoseok just now noticed that they hadn’t made it to Jimin’s bed on the far side of the room. 

Jimin collapsed sideways onto the bed, panting heavily and Hoseok fell, exhausted, beside him. “Wow,” he said.

“Wow.” Jimin echoed, still trying to catch his breath. “What was that?”

Hoseok shook his head, feeling it spin as he did so. “Stupid.” he said. “Really fucking stupid. That’s what it was.” He sighed. “But probably inevitable, I think.” He smiled at Jimin, feeling better, despite himself, now that his thirst was quenched a little.

Jimin smiled back, his eyes traveling over Hoseok’s flushed face. There was a light sweat settled on his brow and his lips were a deep pink from their work. He licked his lips and shook his head, his dark bangs brushing against his forehead. His eyes were so vibrant and bright--a stark contrast from the dark look he’d had in them for the last 10 minutes. “Aren’t you supposed to be on your way to a boat somewhere? Oh god, are they waiting for you?!”

Hoseok shook his head, still working on evening his breath, “They asked me to stay and keep an eye on you…” He let out an ironic chuckle. “It’s just us for today.” 

Just us. Jimin’s chest tightened. “I’m glad you changed your mind, Hobi.” He said. And he was. He was so glad. This was somehow better than he remembered and he would have thought that was impossible. 

Hoseok looked at the ceiling, laughed a little, and shook his head again. “I didn’t change my mind. I still think this is a terrible idea.” He felt his face pull down into a frown and he swallowed hard. He was already starting to feel gross again. 

Jimin rolled onto his stomach and kissed Hoseok’s shoulder flirtatiously. “We’ll see,” he said smugly. 

Hoseok smiled down at Jimin who looked so pleased with himself. The seductive look in Jimin’s eye was going a long way in helping him suppress the guilt that was creeping up on him. God, he was sexy. He sighed and grabbed a handful of Jimin’s bare ass and kissed him. “I guess we will.” 

Chapter Text

They’d already done a fair amount of damage--Jimin’s cum was all over the sheets and they smelled of sweat and sex, and the blankets were bunched up in a messy pile in the middle--but Hoseok thought they should get out of Tae’s bed, anyway. If what they were doing didn’t feel wrong enough already, doing it on Tae’s bed certainly upped the ick factor of the whole thing.

“C’mon,” he got up and pulled Jimin to his feet, pointing him toward his bed. “You don’t have any lube, do you?” he asked as Jimin crossed the room. Jimin blushed at the implication that they weren’t quite done yet and shook his head. Hoseok rummaged through Tae’s bedside table and found a small bottle there. It was nothing special but it would do the job. ‘Thanks, Tae,’ he thought. This would definitely help. He grabbed his wallet again and pulled out a chain of condoms that he kept in there for chance encounters, then followed Jimin over to his bed and joined him.

“You know most guys just carry one of those around…” Jimin said more passive aggressively then he intended.

Hoseok smiled and rolled his eyes a little. “Safety first, Jiminie.” He said. “Do you even have condoms?”

Jimin blushed. He’d never had the need. “I just ran out…” he said sheepishly.

Hoseok smirked, knowing full well that Jimin was lying. He wouldn’t call him out though. Not having sex was nothing to be ashamed of. Neither was having lots of sex. It was just sex and as long as you were happy and safe, who the fuck should it matter to? “So then we should both just be grateful that I happen to have some with me, yeah?”

Jimin nodded as Hoseok laid down and pulled Jimin into his arms. The two laid together silently for a while, recuperating and luxuriating in the feeling of their hot, bare skin against each other. Hoseok thought he felt impossibly comfortable for being in the middle of a forbidden sexual encounter with the most dangerous person he could pick. He could fall asleep like this...but why would he do that when he had a gorgeous naked man on top of him. He let his eyes wander up and down Jimin’s body. From this angle, he couldn’t see all of Jimin’s face--just the round apple of his cheek, the tip of his small nose, and the hard line of his jaw--but he could picture the rest of it and he imagined it flushed pink from embarrassment or exertion. His eyes traveled further down and fell on Jimin’s perfectly rounded ass. Hoseok had always been an ass man and Jimin had one for the ages. Even before he’d realized he was attracted to Jimin, he would have put Jimin’s ass on top of a very short list of butts he’d like to eat off of if ever given the chance. It was that good. As he admired it though, he noticed Jimin was fidgeting a little.

He raised his eyes back to his face and saw him chewing on his full bottom lip. Hoseok could tell he was thinking about something and debating if he wanted to share. Hoseok just waited. ‘What’s on your mind, Jimin?’

Finally Jimin spoke. “Hyung, what was that thing you did with your tongue?” He asked, shyly.

Hoseok saw him blush furiously and smirked. ‘Oh, so that’s what had him preoccupied.’ “You know what it was,” he laughed. “Sorry if it surprised you. I didn’t think about it maybe being weird for you. I was just trying to make things...more comfortable.”

“It was surprising,” Jimin agreed. “Is that something you like doing?” he asked.

Hoseok shrugged. “Would you think I was weird if I said yes?” he smiled a little again.

“No!” Jimin shook his head quickly. “It felt...really good,” he said, getting shy again.

Hoseok smiled down at him and tickled him playfully. “I’m sure it did, Jiminie. Would you like me to do it again?”

“Only if you want to,” he said hurriedly, blushing even more deeply.

Hoseok rolled over and on to Jimin, growling, “Oh Jimin, I want to.” He lowered himself to kiss Jimin’s neck seductively and Jimin shivered.

He pulled away after a second and planted another wet kiss on his clavicle. Then one softly on his sternum. Hoseok was traveling painfully slowly down Jimin’s torso, each kiss growing softer until his lips just lightly grazed the warm skin below his navel. Suddenly he grabbed Jimin’s waist and flipped him over onto his knees. Jimin yelped in surprise as Hoseok pulled his ass up. He paused to admire Jimin’s shape again. His ass was really a masterpiece, round and plump and firm but still so squeezable. He put both his hands on Jimin’s cheeks and pulled them apart, exposing his pink, puckered, and slightly bruised hole. He watched it tighten and release just slightly as Jimin tensed in anticipation.
Jimin held his breath focusing all of his attention on his exposed hole. The air was cold on it and a shiver ran through his whole body as Hoseok blew on it lightly. He knew what was coming and he waited eagerly to feel the wet warmth of Hoseok’s tongue again but Hoseok was taking his time, slapping, squeezing, and spreading his cheeks rhythmically.
He felt Hoseok’s weight shift behind him and then all of the sudden his tongue was there, hungrily lapping at him. Jimin gasped and squirmed deeper into the mattress. It tickled more than he expected and he recoiled from Hoseok instinctively, but Hoseok wrapped his arm around his waist and held him firmly in place. “Where are you going, Jiminie?” he said, playfully, continuing to flick Jimin’s hole with his tongue as he writhed against him.

Jimin was giggling and gasping as the sensation fluctuated from intense tickles to intense pleasure. His toes curled and he bit at the sheet in front of him.

“Jiminie,” Hoseok said calmly as the younger wiggled aggressively, caught between feeling desperate for the torture to stop and desperate for it to last forever. “You’re going to have to learn some discipline.”

Hoseok stopped licking and slowly leaned forward onto Jimin’s back, his weight pushing Jimin deeper into the mattress. “You’re a big boy. Act like it.” he whispered into his ear while his fingers featherly probed his wet hole. Leaning back up, he slapped Jimin’s cheek, hard. “Be good for Oppa.”

Jimin panted into the mattress heavily. He felt himself growing harder at Hoseok’s firm words. He adjusted himself a little, arching his back and pushing his ass up in the air a little further. “I’ll be good, Oppa,” he promised as Hoseok’s fingers continued their tickling. He braced himself for another wave of pleasure, determined to impress Hobi.
Hoseok pulled Jimin’s cheeks apart again and leaned down. He replaced his fingers once again with his tongue, flicking it against Jimin’s hole rapidly then pulling away to see how Jimin reacted. Jimin gasped softly and his cheeks tensed a little but he remained still and in position.

Hoseok smiled, satisfied. “Gooood, Jiminie.” He moved back in and continued his work more aggressively this time. He licked the inside of Jimin’s cheeks alternating left to right to left and circled his tongue around his hole.

Jimin was doing his best to stay still but he couldn’t help but squirm a little as the pleasure overwhelmed him. He moaned softly as Hoseok stopped gently flicking and began to apply steady pressure to his hole with his tongue. He felt Hoseok’s tongue working its way in, teasing him open little by little. He could tell Hoseok was so focused and concentrated on his effort. Jimin moaned appreciatively and pushed his ass harder against Hoseok’s face. Hoseok pulled his cheeks further apart and pushed his tongue even deeper. “Oh, Hoseok,” Jimin gasped and then winced as the elder brought his hand down across his ass sharply.

“I’m sure you meant ‘Oppa,’” he corrected, his voice clear and firm despite being buried in Jimin’s ass.

“Oppa,” Jimin repeated. “Yes, Oppa. Mmm, don’t stop, please.”

Hoseok began lightly sucking on Jimin’s hole. He grabbed one of Jimin’s hands and pulled it to his ass, encouraging him to hold his cheek open, freeing up one of Hoseok’s.
His face still buried in Jimin’s ass, Hoseok held his hand forward to Jimin’s face. “Spit,” he said, his voice muffled. He felt Jimin’s saliva roll down his palm and he brought his hand down to wrap around Jimin’s pulsing member. Jimin moaned again. Hoseok’s tongue didn’t feel tickly anymore. It felt intoxicating, each lap sending shivers through his whole body. And his strong hand stroking his member was pushing him to the brink once again.

Hoseok was moaning softly too. Jimin was being on his best behavior--which was good enough for now--but Hoseok was sure in a few weeks, Jimin’s “best behavior” would look a lot different. Hoseok was glad Jimin was open to this particular kink of his. It was really so pleasurable and, as a dom, Hoseok lived to bring pleasure to his partners. It turned him on to feel Jimin’s cheeks clench and unclench as he gasped and shivered. He liked having Jimin’s ass open and presented to him like a prize he had won--a reward for the taking. It made him feel powerful--and that went a long way in getting him off.

But Hoseok was ready to put Jimin to work a little too. With one last suck, he pulled his face out of Jimin’s ass and gave him another spank. “Sit up,” he ordered, breathing hard and wiping his mouth. Jimin pushed himself up onto his knees which wobbled beneath him on the bed. Hoseok moved quickly around to Jimin’s front and got down on his back, pushing his head in between Jimin’s knees. He pulled Jimin down on top of him and Jimin fell forward, just barely catching himself and holding himself up above Hoseok’s stiff member.

Hoseok already had his tongue in Jimin’s ass again and his arms wrapped around Jimin’s thighs. Jimin bucked at the new position and moved his mouth to Hoseok’s cock, eager to reciprocate at last. His lips had barely grazed his head when he received another sharp slap on his ass. “Aiish!” Jimin yelped.

“If I didn’t tell you to do it, you better ask permission.” Hoseok said between laps.

Jimin smiled. It was going to take him a while to learn all of his Oppa’s rules. But he was excited for his lessons. “Oppa,” Jimin said, trying not to let Hoseok’s kisses or tongue flicks distract him.

“Hmm?”

“May I please suck your cock?” Jimin pouted.

“Mmm, yes, Jiminie,” Hoseok moaned. He would never get tired of Jimin begging to suck his cock.

Jimin hungrily took Hoseok’s stiff member into his mouth while Hoseok continued to eat him out. They devoured each other for minutes--both moaning desperately as they thrust
into and rubbed against each other.

Occasionally, Hoseok would move his mouth to Jimin’s cock, bobbing his head up and down as he used his fingers to probe his ass slowly, before moving his mouth back to Jimin’s plump ass. He continued to lick and suck the puckered hole, smacking his cheeks every so often and giving them a rough squeeze before spreading them wide again.
Jimin quickly became overwhelmed at the changing sensations and the incredible pleasure Hoseok was offering. He couldn’t focus on pleasuring his Oppa and he knew he should try harder but all he wanted to do was enjoy. This was all so new. He could feel another orgasm coming on. He wondered vaguely how many times Hoseok was going to make him cum today. Jimin couldn’t take it anymore. He lifted his head from Hoseok’s cock and arched his ass downward, rocking back and forth on Hoseok’s face, fucking himself desperately on his tongue. He spread his thighs wider to lower his ass as much as possible. His flexibility allowed him to get right up on Hoseok’s tongue.

Hoseok noticed that Jimin wasn’t keeping up his end but honestly, he was a little lost in the moment too. He kept letting Jimin get away with things he’d had no tolerance for before and he chided himself for that failing. But right now, he was just appreciative of how much Jimin was enjoying his hard work. Hoseok’s tongue was worn out but Jimin was riding his face furiously and Hoseok was damned if he was going to stop now. But he could certainly speed along Jimin’s orgasm. He snaked one hand in front of Jimin, wrapped his fingers around his length, and began pumping slowly. Jimin moaned instantly, throwing his head back and leaning forward, holding himself up with his hands on Hoseok’s sides. His body trembled and his heart pounded as he came at last, spilling his seed all over Hoseok’s tight stomach.

Hoseok held him tightly as Jimin edged off of his high. He was riding Hoseok’s face softly now, savoring the last few heavy laps of his tongue. Hoseok gave Jimin a gentle pat on his cheek signaling him to dismount. Jimin crawled off completely exhausted from their romp. He collapsed onto his side with a smile on his face and closed his eyes sleepily.
“Uhn-uh,” Hoseok admonished him, wiping his mouth off and getting to his knees. “You don’t think we're done yet, do you?”

Chapter Text

“Uhn-uh,” Hoseok admonished him, wiping his mouth off and getting to his knees. “You don’t think we’re done yet, do you?”
Jimin opened his eyes to see Hoseok slowly pumping his still-throbbing cock.

“Oppa didn’t get his.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. Between the rough fuck earlier and the literal tongue lashing he just got, his asshole was completely worn out. “Hoseok, I don’t think I can,” Jimin said. But he licked his lips nonetheless as he watched Hoseok stroke himself.

Hoseok clicked his tongue. “Jiminie, I’m disappointed.” He crawled toward Jimin. “I think you can. Have a little faith in yourself…” he smirked.

Jimin smiled back, “Hoseok, I’m sore…”

Hoseok didn’t want to push Jimin but he knew from experience that Jimin being reluctant and extra sensitive right now would only enhance his pleasure. It was a tough position to be in because he knew Jimin didn’t know what he was missing but he couldn’t tell him because fear was part of the recipe for them. Plus following orders was part of his job description and, if Jimin was the sub Hoseok thought he was, Hoseok ignoring Jimin’s concerns and fucking him anyway would make Jimin cum harder than anything. He just hoped that Jimin trusted him enough to know Hoseok wasn’t going to give him anything he couldn’t handle and had his best interests at heart. Of course Jimin did trust Hoseok--over six years, they had proven a million times they would kill and die for one another. But trust in this context was different and it would have to be earned one day at a time. Starting today.

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s hips and dragged him toward him.

Hoseok’s strength impressed Jimin and he felt himself getting turned on despite himself. He was so sore but he so enjoyed the feeling of Hoseok’s cock in him. And it was only fair, after all. Hoseok had just given Jimin another incredible orgasm and Jimin didn’t want to just leave him hanging. “Can you use my mouth, Oppa?” Jimin tried to bargain.

“I don’t want your mouth.” Hoseok said simply, still pulling Jimin’s hips up off the bed.

Jimin let out a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a whimper as he watched Hoseok apply a condom and then Tae’s lube to his cock and realized he was always going to give him whatever he wanted. Hoseok was more experienced at this than him and he was introducing Jimin to a new and exciting world that this was a part of. Even if it hurt, it was so exciting and arousing that this strong, powerful man was pulling him and lifting him to use for his own pleasure even as his own body shook from exhaustion. And Hobi was kind and gentle and Jimin knew he would never put his own pleasure above his safety. Jimin was reassured even further when Hoseok got his attention with a gentle squeeze and asked him with his eyes if he was okay. Jimin gave him a confident nod and a small smile.

Hoseok positioned himself behind Jimin and slowly pushed into him. Jimin grunted and clenched, grateful for the lube, as a ripple of pain in a wave of pleasure crashed over him. He was so sensitive and sore. It felt like someone pushing really hard on a bruise. Except at the apex of that pain sensation was a jolt of intense pleasure. Pleasure that was maximized by the context here.

For the first time, this didn’t feel like it was for or about Jimin. This was all for Hoseok. He was taking his time. Focusing on strokes and a pace that felt good to him seemingly without regard to what Jimin wanted. Jimin felt like he was being used for Hoseok’s pleasure and somehow, that made him more aroused than ever. He was sore and tired and thoroughly spent but he felt his erection growing anyway as Hoseok had his way with him.

And it did hurt. But the pain was dulled significantly by the exciting feeling of being manhandled. Jimin started to stroke himself. Hoseok had his head back and his eyes closed as he thrust into Jimin, his hands kneading into Jimin’s lower back. “Fuck, you feel so good, Jimin.” Hoseok moaned. It was such a masculine, throaty moan. Jimin pumped himself faster. He was so grateful that Hoseok was enjoying him.

Hoseok started to pick up the pace now. Jimin was so tight around him and the pressure and heat was getting him there quickly. He felt his orgasm building as he pulled Jimin’s hips against him harder and harder. He was vaguely aware of Jimin moaning beneath him. It was Hope’s instinct to make sure Jimin was enjoying himself too but he knew that ignoring him was adding to his arousal so he didn’t acknowledge it. He was tempted to stop Jimin from touching himself--this wasn’t supposed to be for Jimin after all and making him wait would make him crazy with lust--but Hope was still trying to take it a little easy on him.

Hoseok was close. He felt himself building as he pumped into Jimin. He dug his fingers into Jimin’s hips and pulled him hard back against him again and again. Jimin stroked himself faster, matching Hope’s thrusts. “Agghhh, ahhh Fuuuuuu..” Hoseok exploded for the second time, buried so deep in Jimin, he couldn’t tell where he stopped and Jimin began.

Hoseok pulled out of Jimin slowly and collapsed on the bed, breathing hard, sweat trickling down his neck and chest. He looked over and saw Jimin still doubled over on his knees, his eyes clenched shut, stroking himself and trying to coax out his third orgasm of the day. Hoseok quickly scooted closer to Jimin. He grabbed his hair roughly and pulled him into a harsh kiss. It was hungry and demanding. He was ordering Jimin to cum for him. And it didn’t take long for Jimin to obey. He released onto the sheets whimpering into Hoseok’s mouth as he did.

Hoseok kept kissing Jimin as his body relaxed and he untucked his knees. He softened his kiss and slowed it down feeling Jimin follow his lead. He relaxed his grip on Jimin’s hair and moved his hand to the side of his face. Jimin laid his body just slightly on Hoseok’s draping his knee over his lower body and laying his hand on his chest. Hoseok ran his free hand down Jimin’s arm, found his hand and pulled it up, their fingers delicately playing with each other’s.

Jimin couldn’t believe how wonderful a kisser Hoseok was. He applied the perfect amount of pressure. Every dart and caress of his tongue felt intentional and artful. Jimin found it as exciting as it was soothing. And his lips were so soft and strong.

What was even crazier to him was how Hoseok could go from aggressive and punishing to tender and affectionate so seamlessly. It was the best of both worlds.
They laid there gently kissing for a long time. Neither of them wanted to stop and Jimin only pulled away when he saw Hoseok rubbing his jaw out of the corner of his eye.

“Mm, had enough?” Hoseok teased.

Jimin patted his chest as he laid back under his arm. “Hyung, you and your tongue have worked hard today,” he laughed. He was actually amazed at Hoseok’s stamina.

Hoseok smiled and felt his jaw tense. It was quite sore. But as far as he was concerned, it was totally worth it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun in bed. It wasn’t even so much what they were doing--though what they were doing was full of energy and passion and the thrill of being new and dangerous and impossibly exciting--it was more how easily they were doing it. Their chemistry was almost supernatural. Everything just worked--like their bodies had learned how to do all this together and had only been made to work for each other. Hoseok couldn’t explain and he’d never experienced anything like it. He’d had great, mind-blowing sex before but it was never this effortless. He knew there was so much more to come and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander, imagining what other sorts of things Jimin and he would find effortless. But his thoughts were interrupted before he could linger as long as he’d have liked to.

“Hyung, can I tell you something?” Jimin asked suddenly, sitting up.

“Anything.” Hoseok shifted too, putting one hand behind his head and bringing the other to Jimin’s back, running his fingers delicately up and down his spine.

Jimin’s brows pulled together as he focused on the wall in front of him, suddenly serious. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come around.” He looked at his hands which picked at the blanket absently. “It hurts my pride a little to admit how...tortured I’ve been the last few days. When you said that we’d put all this behind us, I felt...confused. And a little rejected,” he smiled softly but Hoseok could see the insecurity behind it. “I know it wasn’t personal but, it had just been so...mind-blowing for me that it wasn’t even a question that I wanted to do it again. That I needed to do it again. And you seemed so quick to be able to just move on...I know it’s not fair for me to have expected otherwise but...I don’t know, it made me feel undesirable and forgettable. Like you had done me this huge favor and I was just a good time.”

Hoseok frowned. Jimin had no idea how wrong he was. It was true that he hadn’t planned on doing this again until Jimin had suggested it this morning. And the desire he had unquestionably felt for Jimin all week was largely obscured by the guilt and concern he’d wrestled with. But Hoseok couldn’t have forgotten about Jimin so easily. Jimin was the best he’d ever had and Hoseok’s body knew it even if his head was preoccupied with denying it. Hoseok was sure now that he wouldn’t have been able to stay away for long. Jimin wasn’t just like all the others. Jimin was so so special.

“Anyway,” Jimin continued, “Thank you. For giving in, I guess. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard but, I have to admit, I’m glad I did.”

Hoseok leaned up on his elbows, and stared at Jimin thoughtfully trying to figure out how to respond. Yes, Jimin had propositioned him twice but Hoseok felt more responsible for both encounters than Jimin. And he wanted Jimin to know that he wasn’t an imposition and this wasn’t a favor. Hoseok wanted to make it clear that he wanted this too. As much as he didn’t want to want it, he absolutely, unquestionably did. “Jimin, it was never about whether or not I wanted you. Look at you.” Hoseok swept his eyes over Jimin’s naked form and he bit his lip when he saw Jimin grow shy under his gaze. “Fuck, Jimin you are...a goddamn fantasy. You have to know that my hesitation was only ever about the incredible risk we’d be--we are--taking and the responsibility I have to you as your hyung.”

Jimin looked surprised. “Oh?” His responsibility as his hyung? Jimin wondered what Hoseok meant by that.

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, I mean, if we got caught it would be disastrous and not just for us but for the others too.”

Jimin nodded. He’d considered that too, of course. Maybe Jimin was a little more selfish than Hoseok because he’d been able to push that concern aside as something they could find a way to work around.

“And,” Hoseok hesitated, “I felt like I had taken advantage of you, Jimin. Honestly, I thought you felt like I had too.”

Well that explains all the apologizing. Jimin shook his head vigorously. “No. I didn’t think that at all.” And that was true. There was an inherent power imbalance between the two of them. There was no question that Hobi had a certain level of authority over him as the elder. It’s not like Jimin was particularly deferential but he instinctively wanted to listen to him and impress him and please him. Maybe there was a part of both of them that exploited that dynamic. But that he’d thought he had taken advantage of him seemed unfair. Jimin felt bad that Hoseok had felt guilty about that all this time.

“You didn’t take advantage of me, hyung.” Jimin said reassuringly. “I came to you, remember.”

Hoseok laughed a little. “Yeah. But I definitely came on pretty strong and I’m the one who should have had the objectivity to send you back to your room. But instead I roughed you up…” He said it jokingly but he flinched again as he pictured the new bruises he’d likely left on Jimin’s body today.

Jimin saw the guilt flash on Hoseok’s face. He hadn’t recognized that that was what had been dulling the light in his eyes before but now he understood. Because Hoseok still saw Jimin as his impressionable kid brother, he felt uncomfortable doing the things they were doing to each other. He couldn’t bring himself to really see that Jimin was an adult who was capable of and interested in doing adult things. He felt responsible for the decisions Jimin was making and he wouldn’t have advised Jimin to get involved with someone like him. Someone who was such a risk. Someone who was so aggressive in the bedroom. Someone who left bruises the morning after. And Hoseok thought that Jimin wasn’t capable of making a rational decision because of the influence Hoseok had over him. Jimin didn’t know what to say to convince his hyung that he was an equal in this sexual relationship and that he didn’t need to be protected from him. Those were the kinds of things you can say a hundred times and they won’t make an ounce of difference to someone who is entirely convinced of the opposite. Hoseok was only going to be able to make up his own mind on this point. Jimin would have to just work hard to show Hoseok he wasn’t a little kid anymore and he knew what was best for himself.

“Well I like being a little roughed up, Oppa.” Jimin said with a smirk. “And it’s not like you’ve escaped unscathed either…” Jimin pointed to the nail marks he’d left in Hoseok’s rib cage.

Hoseok smiled a little as he noted the raised scratches on his skin. He shrugged in concession but said, “It’s not the same, Jimin.”

Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes and Hoseok could sense one of his infamous hissy fits coming on. So he put his hands up reassuringly, “It’s okay, Jimin. I’m okay. And I know. It’s just going to take me a little to get used to it.” He placed his hand on Jimin’s arm, gently caressing him. As he touched him he felt that increasingly familiar surge of heat and his eyes sparkled lustfully as they followed the lines of his strong but slender back up to his long, silky neck.

“Oh, and, for the record,” Hoseok said, changing the subject and recapturing the mood, “you’re very, very desirable. If anything, you’re too desirable.” He sat up and leaned against Jimin, pushing him onto the bed with his body, pressing their hot skin together and breathing him in sensually.

“Oh?” Jimin’s pout begrudgingly morphed into a flattered smirk.

“Mmhmm,” Hoseok whispered, grinding against Jimin’s hips.

Jimin was breathing harder now as he felt himself impossibly stiffening yet again. “Show me,” he exhaled against Hope’s ear.

Hoseok slid his hand down Jimin’s arm to his hand and then pulled it up above his head on the bed, pinning him.

“Oh, my sweet, soft, Jiminie,” Hoseok cooed. “I’m going to do things to you that you can’t even begin to imagine.” He brushed his lips along Jimin’s chin, using his teeth to nip at him gently. Jimin shivered. Because of the kiss? Or because of Hoseok’s promise?

 

*** Time skip ***

Hoseok checked his phone. 8:03, the time read. They had been laying together in silence for almost an hour now, gently stroking each other, each lost in their own thoughts, fading in and out of a light sleep. Hoseok stretched and nudged Jimin. “Hey you,” he whispered, “we should get cleaned up. The guys will be back soon.”

Jimin sighed. He wasn’t ready for this day to end. Hobi had worked him really hard today and he knew he was going to sleep well tonight from their efforts but, as tired as he was, he would happily go for another few hours. Still, he reluctantly sat up and started looking around for some shorts to pull on. The movement made him realize again just how sore he was.

“Oh, we need to change Tae’s sheets,” Jimin said, as he passed the bed.

“Yeah, we should change your's too.” Hoseok said. The whole room smelled of sex.

They had spent almost 7 hours together in bed today. Jimin had gotten off 9 times. He didn’t even know he had that in him. He’d never put his body through that kind of work--and that was saying something. He was sore and sensitive but his nerves were weirdly numb.

As they started stripping the beds, an awkwardness fell over the room. It seemed that being alone together clothed was still a little uncomfortable for now. After a couple of tense moments of silence, Hoseok cleared his throat. “Did you have fun today, Jiminie?”

Jimin, grateful for Hobi’s considerate ice breaker, smiled shyly, “Oh yes, hyung. I did.” He looked up at Hoseok, “Did you?”

Hoseok grinned his signature heart-shaped grin. “Yes, Jiminie. So much fun,” he paused. “I think we can make this work.”

Jimin looked surprised at his sudden confidence. Just earlier today he’d said it was a stupid mistake to get involved like this. “Oh?”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah.” He didn’t say it but he felt like his change of heart had less to do with being convinced they would be okay--in fact the mutual awkwardness they were feeling now made him feel certain they wouldn’t be--and more to do with feeling like whatever happened was worth it because the sex was just that good. Jimin was the best he’d ever had. And it wasn’t even close. Being with Jimin was the closest thing to physical bliss Hoseok had ever experienced. If Jimin felt half as good as he did, he imagined that they couldn’t stay away from each other now even if it cost them everything. So it wasn’t so much that he was confident they could hide it or escape with their friendship intact--it was more that they didn’t have a choice now but to try.

Chapter Text

Jimin’s phone buzzed. It was Hoseok. ‘Hoseok,’ he chuckled under his breath at how quickly he’d become accustomed to calling him that. Before all this, he’d called him that maybe a handful of times in the six years they had known each other. But “Hoseok” seemed a more sophisticated, mature moniker for his hyung-turned-lover. It just felt more appropriate. Jimin had even changed it in his phone. 

Hoseok: Mornin’

Jimin: Morning. :) 

Hoseok: If you have some free time after practice, I’d like to go over some choreo notes.

Jimin smiled shyly. ‘He wants to meet again so soon? Jimin wasn’t opposed but his body still ached from their marathon yesterday. 

Jimin: Yeah, I think I have time. Where do you want to meet?

‘My room or your’s?’ still sounded too forward. 

Hoseok: I was thinking about the seating area on the second floor. Lots of nice sunlight there by the windows.

Jimin read Hoseok’s text twice and still didn’t understand. Did Hoseok actually want to talk about their choreo?

Jimin: Um...sure? That works.

Hoseok: Cool. See you at 4. ;)

Jimin couldn’t help but be disappointed. The area was secluded but not private by any means and it was next to a wide open window. Whatever they would be doing certainly wasn’t what Jimin was hoping for...

Hoseok had some reservations about the meeting, too. In fact, he was dreading it a little. It would be awkward to sit with Jimin and talk about the things they needed to talk about. That’s why he picked the place he did. It was a friendly place with lots of sunshine where they could be comfortable and still chat without the fear of being overheard. If he and Jimin were going to continue doing what they had done...and it seemed they were both too far in now to back out...they needed to cover a few logistic things. How they were going to arrange meetups, where and when they could be safe about it, how they should interact around the other guys...He also wanted to go over some boundaries with him. Hoseok just sort of dove in and did his thing yesterday without checking what Jimin was comfortable with. Jimin seemed to have a good time but Hoseok’s particular predilections meant things that should be black and white were sometimes blurred. He’d taken some liberties that he should have been more sure of first. He intended to clear all of that up today.

 

Most importantly and difficultly, Hoseok needed to talk to Jimin about the nature of their sexual relationship. He’d had a rough night last night. After he left Jimin’s room, he was plagued with guilt again and he hadn’t been able to sleep at all. His mind or heart or conscience or some infernal part of his whole wouldn’t forgive him for doing what he was doing with his dongsaeng. Hoseok thought long and hard about how to make it hurt less. The only thing he thought might work was if he was able to convince himself that it wasn’t his Jimin he was fucking. He had to find a way to code switch bedroom Jimin and band mate Jimin. He wasn’t going to call him “Jiminie” anymore, for one--not while they were naked anyway. It was too familiar. Too familial . He would only use pet names or  “Jimin.” He shouldn’t call him that even...but there was definitely something important about it being Jimin he was with. Something about whispering his name, moaning it--“ Jimin… ”--enhanced his pleasure. ‘ Because I’m a sick fuck.’ So he’d suffer some of the guilt to keep ahold of that extra buzz. But, for Hoseok’s own conscience, they needed to find a way to keep the sex as anonymous as possible. When they were in the bedroom, they were Hoseok and Jimin. Lovers. Two men who have mind-blowing sex and that’s it. Outside, they were Hobi and Jiminie. Best friends. Brothers, band mates, and that’s it. Hoseok had a sinking feeling that that arrangement would be easier said than done even if Jimin agreed to play along, which, given Jimin’s emotional tendencies was far from a certainty. 

The day passed slowly for Hoseok but at 4:00 he arrived at the rendezvous spot and found Jimin already there waiting for him, dressed in the same striped sweater and black jeans he’s been practicing in all day but looking somehow still goddamn perfect. He looked up when Hoseok approached and gave him nervous but sincere smile. 

“Hi,” he said, already breathless. 

“Hey, Jimin,” Hoseok smiled back putting his bag down and taking a seat on the plush bag chair across from him. It was hard to describe exactly how profoundly their chemistry had changed but Hoseok could feel it in the air, even as he sat down. It was almost tangible. It made him sad to think that he would probably never be able to feel exactly the way he used to feel about Jimin. He loved the way he used to feel about him. He knew that maybe this evolution would be for the better. But maybe it wouldn’t. And that scared him. ‘Focus,’ Hoseok told himself. ‘That’s not what you’re here for right now.’ “How are you feeling?” he asked Jimin.

“Physically?” Jimin asked.

“Generally.” Hoseok shrugged.

“Honestly, I’m so sore,” he laughed. But...” he leaned in and whispered, “I’m so excited, Hobi...I’m just... so excited.”

Hoseok smiled, endeared. “Me too, Jimin-ssi.” 

“So.” Jimin said, sitting back up. “Choreo notes, yeah?” 

Hoseok chuckled. “Right. I was trying to be discreet...that’s one of the things I wanted to talk about.” He cleared his throat. How to begin? “This might be an uncomfortable conversation to have so I thought it might be easier in a more casual setting.” He motioned to their surroundings. It wasn’t actually about ease or comfort. It was more that getting Jimin in a private space alone would mean significantly less talking and more potential line-crossing. “But I’m realizing it almost feels more awkward to talk about this sort of stuff in the light of day.” Hoseok rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I just wanted to check in about some things. There’s stuff we need to talk about for me to be...more comfortable with all this. For this to be safer.” 

Jimin squinted his eyes. He could tell Hoseok was being careful and measured in his words. That was so like Hobi to be cautious. He was never one to speak before he thought things through. It was a beneficial trait for a public figure but it made it difficult sometimes to tell what was really on his mind behind his carefully crafted facade. Jimin hoped he wasn’t trying to back out again.

“I normally would have had this conversation before doing...what we did yesterday...so I’m sorry if I did anything that made you uncomfortable at all...” Hoseok continued. 

Jimin shook his head and put his hand reassuringly on Hoseok’s knee. “Hobi, I had a great time yesterday…”

“I know.” Hoseok laughed. “I did too. But that’s not what I mean. I just, I generally like to set some ground rules and talk about boundaries and stuff before I take control like that. I should have made sure I knew what you were okay with before we did anything. I just wanted to apologize, first and foremost, and have that conversation now.”

Jimin smiled gently at him, his chest growing warm at his hyung’s concern for him. “Thanks, Hoseok-hyung. I mean, I guess I’m not as worried about all that,” he shrugged. “I trust you and,” he blushed a little, “frankly, I’m not experienced enough to know what I’m comfortable with...what I like and what I don’t until you do it…”

Hoseok nodded, “Yeah, that makes sense.” He sighed and lowered his voice a little. “Then I guess I’ll just say this: Based on...our previous er--exploits, we’ll probably be a little rough with each other. And that means we might push each other past our limits sometimes. And, obviously, because of our roles and your unfamiliarity with...yourself and...all this, you might be pushed further.” He forced himself to look Jimin in the eye because he needed him to know how sincerely he meant this. “But Jimin, I’ve been doing this sort of thing for a while and I know what I’m doing and I’m good at it. If you trust me, I think we’re going to have a lot of fun. I think I’m going to show you things about yourself that will surprise you and frighten you and excite you.” He paused and lowered his voice a little more, leaning forward, “Jimin, I want you to know--it’s important to me that you know--that I would never do anything to hurt you,” he smiled gently. “I promise.”

Jimin nodded at him. “I know, Hobi. I trust you.” He meant it. He trusted Hobi with his life. Trusting him with his body was nothing. He chewed on his lip. If they were making sweeping declarations, maybe he should too. 

“Hyung, in just the short time we’ve been doing this, I already feel more like a man. I mean, I feel more like an adult. I feel more powerful and confident and...desirable,” he blushed, but Hoseok could see the confidence he spoke of radiating off of him. “When we’re...together like that...I feel...you make me feel really good about myself, hyung. I know that you’re worried and hesitant and maybe afraid that I’m not ready or something but...I’m so excited to do this. With you.” He leaned back and smiled, “I’m going to surprise you, I think.”

Hoseok beamed at him. The smile on his face was so sincere and eager. It was so charming and Hoseok couldn’t help but feel a little smitten. “Jiminie, you’ve already surprised me. A hundred times over. But thank you for telling me that. It really does make me feel a little less anxious.” 

Jimin smiled softly, glad he decided to share.  

Hoseok and Jimin spent the next hour talking through the details of their dangerous liaison, huddled close together so they weren’t overheard. Hoseok insisted on picking a safe word, which he explained Jimin could use whenever he was hesitant or uncomfortable or in pain and wanted Hoseok to stop what he was doing without breaking the mood. Jimin didn’t think it was necessary but Hoseok insisted. “Do you have any preferences?” 

Jimin just shrugged and shook his head but he noticed Hoseok looked like he was hoping he’d say that. “Do you?”

His eyes lit up and he leaned forward in his seat. “What about ‘Daydream’?” He smiled wide and made a tada motion with his hands. “Huh? Huuuh?” 

Jimin liked it but he didn’t want to give Hobi too much credit for it so he rolled his eyes a little.

“No, see, it’s great because you can say it or, if your mouth is obstructed, you can hum it and I’ll know!”

Jimin’s eyes widened a little in surprise and he felt his face flush. “Why would my mouth be obstructed?”

Jimin could see Hobi’s ears burn a deep shade of red and he looked suddenly flustered. “Yeah..I mean sometimes...maybe...things might...you know…” he drifted off so Jimin spared him and tried to ignore the curls of heat flickering in his lower stomach. 

“It’s fine. Daydream’s fine,” Jimin said, hurriedly. He was not prepared to imagine why and in what ways Hobi might render him unable to speak clearly. Not here. Not in public. Not when there were still so many layers of clothes between them. “So where should we meet?”

Hoseok and Jimin talked about how they would arrange meetings, not texting anything too explicit (the staff didn’t do it often but sometimes they spot-checked their conversations), plausible stories if they happened to be caught in a somewhat compromising situation, and how they should interact in front of the other boys. Obviously it was all just how they would do things ideally and in reality they would have to do a lot of playing it by ear. Neither of them had ever done anything like this before so they didn’t really have a framework. They would be relying on their instincts and common sense most of all. 

“There’s one more thing,” Hoseok said. He’d put it off long enough. “I think it’s best if we try to be...less friendly in the bedroom...”

Jimin smirked, a little confused. “Hyung, we’re the opposite of friendly in the bedroom.” 

“No, I mean things like calling me ‘hyung’ or ‘Hobi’ or talking about Bangtan or our work...” Hoseok elaborated. “I don’t want to be your hyung while we’re...messing around. I don’t want to be doing all that with you .” 

Jimin recoiled. “You don’t want to be doing that with me ? What? I--”

Hoseok waved his hands apologetically. “No, Jimin. I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I want to be with you . But...there are parts of you that are...hard for me to be with...the parts that I’ve known for years and watched grow up and snorted snot out of my nose from laughing too hard with...You must feel that a little too?”

Hoseok could tell from the look in Jimin’s eye that he did. 

“I just want to avoid...encountering...those parts when I’m balls deep…”

Jimin blushed at the crassness of Hoseok’s explanation but he nodded anyway. He understood. Sometimes he got little pangs of something unpleasant when his Oppa blurred into his hyung. It didn’t make him any less attracted to or aroused by him but it did throw him a little out of rhythm. But if Hoseok was having a harder time, he could understand that and he could try to make it easier. 

He continued, “I think keeping a little distance is the only way this works, Jimin. Keeping it as casual as possible will make everything a little easier. If I’m not Hobi-hyung and you’re not Jiminie...yeah...I think that’s better.”

Jimin wasn’t entirely sure he agreed--it felt so formal. Anonymous sex with his Hobi? How could that even be possible? But there was admittedly some sense in what his hyung was saying. The pangs of unpleasantness, the awkwardness, the guilt--yesterday after they had finished Jimin had felt that a little too. And in a way, hadn’t he already been distancing himself from “Hobi-hyung” by calling him Hoseok instead? Regardless, even if it was something Jimin could get past, it clearly wasn’t something Hoseok could. So for his sake Jimin nodded, not entirely convinced but not coming up with anything more concrete to argue than an instinct to the contrary. 

Hoseok smiled at him. He looked relieved that Jimin had agreed. It was a strange arrangement but if it helped him have an easier time sleeping it might be worth it. “Do you have anything you want to talk about, Jimin?”

They had spoken for well over an hour already and Jimin was feeling a little overwhelmed. He understood that Hoseok was nervous and talking it out and making a plan was going to make him feel better and more secure with all this--that was just Hobi. But Jimin was hoping it wouldn’t be as complicated as this conversation had made it seem. He put a look on his face like he was racking his brain to see if he could come up with anything and then shook his head.

“Alright, Jimin,” Hoseok started to gather his things, “I’m sorry this took so long,” he sensed that Jimin’s patience was spent. Honestly, he was surprised Jimin had lasted this long--patience was not his strongest suit. “But we covered a lot of ground. I think this was good for now. We can go over the other rules later.”

“Other rules?” Jimin looked at Hoseok, exasperated. So many rules .

Hoseok made fleeting eye contact with Jimin and Jimin read the fire in his eye. Hoseok looked away blushing a little and smiling. “Yeah, the other rules,” he cleared his throat. “See you later, Jiminie.”

‘Oh,’ Jimin thought. Those rules. He blushed too. “Bye, hyung.”

Chapter Text

It was trial and error for Jimin and Hoseok trying to find the best way to interact with each other around the other boys. Jimin had been right that it was definitely easier than it had been that first week when they weren’t on the same page, but it was still awkward. They both blushed a lot. An embarrassing amount actually. They’d both flush pink whenever Hoseok had to correct Jimin’s choreo or when they accidentally brushed shoulders in an interview or as they changed in the locker room with the others around them. Hoseok hoped it wasn’t as obvious to them as it felt to him. 

Hoseok kept walking around with his smolder-swagger on all the time, too. He normally reserved his sexy energy for stage performances--in his behind-the-scenes life, his brand was sunshine, not sex. The other members had already called him on it a couple of times. ‘Who are you trying to impress?’ Yoongi had jokingly asked him when Hoseok showed up to rehearsal with almost $50,000 worth of jewelry around his neck. Jimin, that’s who . He couldn’t help but want to seem cool and sexy and powerful all the time for Jimin. He knew that no amount of fashionable fits or sultry facial expressions would make Jimin blind to the 6 years he’d spent making goofy aeygo and funny sound effects but it was a weird dynamic for him to be “cute” in front of a pet.  

Jimin seemed to have ratcheted up the sex too. Although it was probably less obvious to the others because Jimin naturally flickered between drop dead sexy and goddamn adorable every 30 seconds or so. But Hoseok noticed. He dragged his tongue across his lips more intentionally and walked with a lethal sway in hips. And he widened his eyes innocently as he did it turning him into the poster child for precocious. Hoseok found it more distracting, if less stressful, than when he was paranoid about Jimin being angry with him. He was trying to train his brain to not be aroused by this Jimin, reminding himself with the internal mantra “Jiminie is your dongsaeng and off limits, Jiminie is your dongsaeng and off limits.” But the words rarely managed to make their way down to his lower half which couldn’t be convinced that Jimin was anything other than fucking delicious.

Even now as they took a break from their choreo, his eyes wandered to his young paramour whose black t-shirt was sticking just slightly to his torso as beads of sweat dripped down his slender neck. Hoseok traced one particularly heavy bead as it made it made its way slowly from below his ear to his sharp collar bone and he found himself fighting the urge to pin him to the studio mirrors and suck it off...

“Hey Hob-ah,” Namjoon held out a water bottle for Hoseok he approached, leaning his tall frame up against the wall next to him. “Aiish, tough choreo on this one…” he shook his head with a small but tired laugh. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok nodded in agreement, tearing his eyes at last away from Jimin. “You’re keeping up well though!” Hoseok meant it. Everyone on their team was an elite level dancer. Some came to it less naturally, including their dear leader, but they always worked that much harder to make up the difference. Hoseok never stopped appreciating or acknowledging that.

“Thanks, Hob-ah.” Namjoon took a swig of his water. “So it seems like Jimin is feeling a little better…” They both glanced over at the blonde standing with Taehyung across the studio, a wide smile on his well-rested face. 

Hoseok just nodded.

“Thank you,” Namjoon nudged Hoseok’s arm. “For staying behind and talking to him.”

Hoseok shrugged. “Yeah, it was no problem.” A small smile crossed his lips. “We had fun.” 

“What did you guys end up doing?”

Hoseok took a long drink from his bottle, stalling. He was a terrible liar. But this was something he was going to have to get used to. “We talked. We cuddled a little. There were some tears...we were at it all day but I think he was able to work through some stuff.” It wasn’t technically a lie. Baby steps. 

“Can I ask what was bothering him?” 

Hoseok glanced at Jimin and then at the floor, racking his brain to come up with something to tell Namjoon that would make sense. But before he could, Namjoon waved his hand. “Nevermind. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Hoseok tried to hide his relief, feeling grateful that Namjoon was an empathetic leader who respected their privacy, “Yeah, if it’s okay with you Joon, I promised I would keep it to myself.”

Namjoon nodded. “That’s fair. And kind of you. As long as he’s doing better and he knows we’re here if he needs help, no one needs to know what had him so down.” They shared a smile, Hoseok’s hiding a touch of guilt. “Thanks again, Hob-ah. Jimin is lucky to have you. We all are. You’re a good friend.” 

Hoseok took another drink of his water to hide the cringe that came with another twang of guilt in his stomach. “Thanks, Joon.” Hoseok capped his water bottle, “Okay okay,” he shouted across the room. “Break’s over. Back to work.” 

***

Three whole days had passed since Hoseok and Jimin had met up to talk shop and Jimin still hadn’t initiated anything. That meant three days of Hoseok trying not to stare and de-escalating tension before an awkward erection came to light and reminding himself that Jiminie wasn’t Jimin and Hoseok was exhausted and sexually frustrated to put it mildly. For as eager as Jimin seemed to be about their arrangement, he certainly wasn’t banging down Hoseok’s door to meet again. Hoseok had to admit he was a little disappointed. It had only been three days--it’s not like he was accustomed to getting off with someone that frequently. But the opportunity had never been so accessible either. It was a strenuous test of his patience to be right down the hall from a willing (and tantalizing) fuck-buddy and having to wait for him to give the go ahead. But Hoseok didn’t want to push Jimin. Not at first anyway. He wanted everything to be on his terms for now. So he used his suddenly burdensome free time to write music or organize his (already meticulously uptight) room, or shop online for any limited edition Balenciagas he didn’t already have. 

So at lunch on Day 4, Hoseok sat alone at one of the tables in the BigHit cafeteria, poking his food around with an irritation the bibimbab in his bowl didn’t deserve. The rest of the group was there too but they were still picking out their food at the buffets. Hoseok knew what he wanted right away, having planned in the morning exactly what his diet would consist of for the day, so he was always the first to the table. The surprise was Jimin sitting down next to him about 10 seconds later. He was usually one of the last to pick his plate. 

“Hoseok,” Jimin whispered close to Hoseok’s ear, pressing his body against his arm and placing his hand on his thigh under the table. 

The hair on the back of Hoseok’s neck prickled and he recognized right away that Jimin was not talking to him as his dongsaeng. The breathy tone, the lack of honorifics—this was his pet, and Hoseok valiantly (albeit pointlessly) fought against the surge of blood that rushed to where Jimin’s fingers dug into him.

“Oppa,” Jimin’s breath was even lighter this time and Hoseok couldn’t help but groan just a little at how effortlessly erotic he sounded. “Kookie and Tae just made plans to go to a late movie tonight and then play video games in our room…”

Hoseok’s lips parted in revelation as he connected Jimin’s words to the way he was saying them. “So my place. Tonight?” he said. 

“At 9.” 

Hoseok nodded and furtively glanced around. Yoongi and Jin were approaching the table. “Don’t be late,” he said, his voice suddenly husky and authoritative.   

Hoseok chanced a glance down at Jimin and saw him bite his lower lip as he squeezed his thigh hard one last time. They turned away from each other, each picking up their chopsticks and shoving food into their mouths right as their hyungs sat down. 

“Woah, slow down now,” Jin said, eyeing their cheeks full of food. “You’re going to choke on that.” 

Jimin swallowed and nodded, “I just worked up an appetite, I guess…” he smirked a little and, while Yoongi and Jin didn’t catch it, Hoseok knew precisely what kind of appetite Jimin was referring too.

 

***

Knock, knock, knock.

9 pm. Jimin. Hoseok put his whiskey down and chewed on his lip. This was their first planned, intentional encounter and Hoseok had been trying to shore up his nerves about it all afternoon. He remembered looking forward to this for days but once it had concretized with Jimin’s hot whispers against his ear, his mind had been stuck in a loop: “Jung Hoseok this is insanity. But I want him. But it’s stupid. Really stupid. And risky. But he’s so good. It’s gross and it’s fucked up. But he’s perfect and delicious and I need him. You’re a stupid, horny, bastard, Jung Hoseok and you’ll regret this. But Jimin. ” At the end of the day it didn’t really matter. Jimin was here. Hoseok was going to open the door, take one look at Jimin’s full, pouty lips and perfectly carved jaw and warm brown eyes, and feel his willpower disintegrate all over again. He sighed, resigned, and pulled the door open. 

Jimin had changed his clothes since rehearsal. He was wearing a simple pair of light-washed ripped jeans and a white, v-neck t-shirt under a denim jacket. He had his usual delicate silver chain around his neck and had freshly applied some smokey eye-makeup and some subtle shimmery highlights. He was already looking at him with a flirtatious glint in his eyes. He was so good at that. That coy, shy look that was perfectly submissive but also somehow entirely lethal. 

“Beautiful,” Hoseok murmured, mesmerized. It just slipped out but Jimin smiled softly when he heard it. 

“Can I come in, hyung?” he asked.

“Oh! Yes. Sorry.” Hoseok said, stepping back from the door and letting his guest pass.

Hoseok motioned to the bed, encouraging Jimin to sit. “Drink?” he asked, holding up the whiskey.

Jimin shook his head. “No. Thank you, though.”

“Sorry, I know you’re not a fan...I’ll make sure to get some vodka for next time…”

Jimin could tell Hoseok was nervous again. It was such a shift from that first night. He’d never seen anyone as confident and in control as Hoseok, his Oppa, was that night. The day they’d spent together in bed he was similarly bold and commanding. But he seemed so nervous today. It made the atmosphere a little awkward. 

“So, rules part 2, yeah?” Jimin asked, trying his best to sound sure of himself.

Hoseok nodded, downing the small glass of whisky he’d poured himself. “Yes. My rules.” As he said the words, he straightened up a little, feeling a bit more comfortable as the warmth of the alcohol spread through his chest. He poured himself another small glass before moving toward Jimin. This was a crucial part of his and Jimin’s sexual relationship, even if the younger didn’t know it yet.  

Hoseok was generally good at reading his partner’s feelings on the fly--sensing hesitation or fear, understanding when someone really liked what was happening, and he knew when someone was faking or putting on a show. He was able to pick up on the small muscle tenses or facial expressions or sounds that told a more honest story than words or silence. It was a useful skill as he often didn’t take the time to talk to his partners any further than “Do you wanna?” But, with Jimin, he didn’t want to run the risk of guessing wrong. Maybe he was biased but he felt like Jimin would be harder to read than any of his previous partners because he knew Jimin well enough to know that he overthought everything and was inclined to shelve his experiences and feelings in favor of being accommodating. He was sure he’d still rely on his in the moment instincts, but starting with a blank slate wasn’t an option. He wanted a framework within which to experiment so that he could more quickly find all of Jimin’s hidden naughty buttons. 

But in order to do that, he needed the boy in his room to be less intimidating. He could handle Jimin the sex-god...but Jiminie made him want to go hide in a corner and kick himself until he bled. He needed to turn the beautiful blonde boy in front of him from his impressionable dongsaeng, to his passionate, lust-driven, oh-so-fuckable pet. The alcohol was blurring him around the edges, dulling some of his more inseparable features like the little mole above his left collar bone and his slightly crooked front tooth. But it was going to take more than that.

Hoseok looked the boy in front of him up and down, forcing his eyes to see all of him, to linger on his long neck, his sharp adam’s apple, his sinewy arms so soft and strong. His eyes moved to his thighs, thick under the thin denim of his jeans and the way that same material pulled tight over his groin. He fought his instinct to shake away the lustful thoughts forming as he looked, and he honed in next on his plush, edible lips. He imagined them slick with their saliva and shaded red from his bites. He imagined the warmth and sweetness of his breath and the texture of his rough tongue against his own. Hoseok felt something stir somewhere behind his pelvis and his muscles tensed as Jimin, his lover, took form before him. A dark gleam grew in Hoseok’s narrowed eyes and an arrogant smirk crossed his lips. Jimin shifted eagerly, his breath quickening as he noticed the change in his hyung’s demeanor. This was better. His Oppa had arrived.

“Let’s make ourselves a little more comfortable, shall we?” Hoseok said, striding confidently to Jimin and taking a seat on the bed. He set his glass on the end table and leaned forward to slide the jacket from Jimin’s shoulders while they kicked off their shoes. Hoseok lifted his shirt off over his head and sat back against the headboard. He pulled Jimin over to him and they sat facing each other, Jimin’s legs straddling Hoseok’s. Hoseok grabbed the belt loops on Jimin’s jeans and pulled him closer to him so that he was nearly in his lap. Winding his arms around his waist and pushing his hands a little below the waistband at the back, he leaned in and placed his lips on his, kissing him slowly but firmly. Jimin kissed him back and began to grind his hips just slightly as the heat began to build. Hoseok smiled against Jimin’s lips. Jimin was so easy to turn on. He was always just so eager. To be honest, after almost four days, Hoseok was feeling pretty eager himself so he pulled away before he found himself getting too carried away. They weren’t here for this. Not yet.   

Hoseok leaned back and rested his hand just above Jimin’s knee, ready now to coax his deepest, darkest desires out of him. “So, Jimin. Tell me what you like.”

“What I like?” Jimin repeated, a little breathless from the kiss.

“The stuff I don’t know. The stuff no one knows. The deepest darkest stuff.” Hoseok clarified.

Jimin was blushing already. “I told you yesterday...I don’t...know what I like…” he said softly, looking away.

Hoseok watched him like he could see right through him. “Maybe you don’t know your limits. Maybe you don’t know exactly what you like and don’t. But you certainly have ideas. Things you want to try. Things you’ve fantasized about. Maybe things that have crossed your mind but you’ve been too afraid to linger on...” Jimin was chewing on the inside of his cheek again and he fidgeted uncomfortably, leaning away from Hoseok. “Tell me those things.” 

“I-I don’t know,” he stuttered. The truth was there were a lot of things that excited Jimin. He’d thought constantly about all the things he’d like to do with Hoseok...of all the things he’d like Hoseok to do to him ever since they first hooked up. But the idea of verbalizing those things, of admitting them to Hoseok, to himself...it made his stomach burn in a bad way. Some of those things scared him. Some of them embarrassed him. Most of them made him feel really confused and ashamed. But his Oppa was asking...he should at least try. He cast his mind around trying to think of something that seemed relatively innocuous. Something honest but that wouldn’t make him look like a deviant. An image of Hoseok’s strong hand pulled back, coiled, poised to come down across his waiting cheek flashed in front of his eyes. “I...maybe I...I think I like...being spanked?” His face flooded with color as he said it, and he quickly backtracked. “I don’t know. Maybe not. I don’t know why I said that.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes a little, amused. Jimin was so painfully shy about this. It would be frustrating if it wasn’t so cute. Hoseok wasn’t new to inexperienced partners by any means. But he’d never taken on the role of private sex tutor. It would help to know where Jimin was at so he could tailor his lessons a little. He needed Jimin to trust him enough to open up. He already knew Jimin liked to be spanked. He’d heard the way he moaned each time his hand slapped against his fleshy cheeks but he wanted to encourage him to share more so he put on a big smile and nodded at him. “See, that’s great to know Jimin, because I like spanking.” Jimin glanced up at him and smiled just barely as Hoseok pressed on. “Do you just like being spanked with my hand? Or do you want me to hit you with other things?”

Jimin gulped. “Other things?” He could feel his mouth go dry. 

“Paddles? Floggers? A ruler?” Hoseok listed the items slowly, allowing Jimin to picture each suggestion. Hoseok could almost see his heart pounding as he watched him carefully behind eyes that only appeared nonchalant. 

“Other things are fine.” Jimin managed to whisper, looking at a point on the wall beside Hoseok’s head. 

Hoseok nodded. That helped. Jimin had an interest in experiencing a little more pain than they had already played with. And there was of course an element of humiliation inherent in that sort of scenario so Jimin was open to that too. 

“What else do you like, Jimin?” 

Jimin whimpered a little, already feeling overwhelmed and at his embarrassment limit, “I don’t know--just in general, I think I like being rough and...physical.” He made a gesture with his arms as if he was grabbing onto something firmly. “Maybe? I don’t know....” 

“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok cooed, soothingly, moving his hand up to brush Jimin’s chin. “I promise you can’t tell me anything I haven’t heard. You can trust me.”

“I do trust you.” Jimin said, finally making eye contact with him. He sounded sure about that at least. He pulled Hoseok’s hand away, frustrated. “Maybe nothing I tell you will be new to you but...you knowing those things about me will be new to you. It’s...it’s embarrassing, Hob--Hoseok.” He looked at him pleadingly, “Can’t you just do what you usually do?” 

Hoseok softened, looking him sympathetically. He leaned back against the headboard again. “What is it you think I usually do?” 

Jimin just shrugged impotently. 

“Jimin, I could do what I usually do and I will, if that’s what you want. You’ll still get off fine. It’ll still blow your virgin mind. But you and I will both know that it could have been so much better if you were willing to let me know what you want.” 

Jimin chewed on his lips, clearly understanding the truth of what Hoseok was saying but still unwilling to reveal himself entirely.

Hoseok smiled sympathetically. He really didn’t want to embarrass Jimin. “Would it help if I went first?” Maybe this was a better way . It worked with the spanking. “If I told you some of the things I like and you can just nod if it sounds like something you like or would like to try?”

Jimin perked up a little. “Oh? That might be easier...if you want to tell me…” Jimin liked this better. It was easier to agree to trying things Hoseok liked than divulging his own desires. The darker, dirtier, rougher things...the things Jimin was almost too afraid to think about...Hoseok could name them. All Jimin had to do was agree. 

“Let’s see…” Now that Hoseok had agreed to go first, he felt a little trepidation. He didn’t know if Jimin truly knew what he’d gotten himself into. He knew he was kinky and had a dark side. But Hoseok had a really dark side. As scared as Jimin was to tell Hoseok what he fantasized about, Hoseok felt sure that it must be pretty intense. But then again, Jimin had once turned into a giggling mess talking about a simple french kiss...maybe he wasn’t as dark as he thought. Plus, he knew that anything he suggested, Jimin would feel pressured to entertain. He certainly didn’t want that. They should, of course, be willing to try new things for each other...but he wanted Jimin to feel very comfortable saying no. He would share more neutral things to start...some of his less intimidating penchants. 

“I like being the one to take my partner’s---that’s you, I guess…” he said, nodding at Jimin. “-- your underwear off.” 

Jimin felt his face getting hot as he nodded a little. That was a very specific kink. And tamer than he expected. But his mind flashed on an image of Hoseok pulling his underwear off slowly and his breath caught a little. He could definitely be into that. 

Hoseok actually felt a flush of embarrassment as he told Jimin about his underwear thing, which was unexpected. He couldn’t help but wonder if it changed how Jimin saw him at all. He cleared his throat and continued. “You already know that I like eating you out.”

Jimin nodded, remembering. “Yes,” he said, “and I definitely like that.”

Hoseok smiled. Jimin sounded sure of that too so Hoseok pressed him a little. “Is that something you would like to try too?” 

Jimin furrowed his brow. “We have tried it…” 

“No I mean, would you like to try...eating me out?”

“Oh,” the idea didn’t immediately appeal to Jimin. He thought it sounded gross, honestly. “I...I don’t…”

“What if didn’t ask so nicely?” 

Jimin’s mouth went dry and his eyes lost focus for a moment, as he had a visceral vision of Hoseok asking him if he liked being a dirty boy while holding his face to him. He nodded his head vigorously, his mouth hanging a little open. “I think I might…” 

Hoseok watched Jimin’s reaction, noting how his cringe transformed into arousal and feeling his own build as he understood why Jimin had a change of heart.   

Hoseok paused wondering if he should say the next thing that crossed his mind. Again, he worried about pressuring Jimin or making him feel like he had to try something he wasn’t interested in. It could be seen as a little extreme but Jimin had been very receptive so far. So Hoseok raised his head haughtily aiming for something powerful but flirtatious. “I’d like to tie you up some time…” he leaned forward meeting Jimin’s eyes and holding them. 

Jimin’s eyes widened in return and he felt his cock twitch. “Yes,” he said in a whisper, “please.” Tie me up, Hoseok. Tie me down. Tie me to a chair, to the bed, to the ceiling. He opened his mouth but the words didn’t come. He willed Hoseok to understand anyway.  

Hoseok’s eyes flared with desire. Despite his tentative voice, he could tell that Jimin’s plea was genuine. He was terrified of Hoseok’s suggestion. But he yearned for it too. And that told Hoseok that something like fear would enhance his pleasure. “Great,” he said, a little smug, “So we have some ideas. Now, let’s try you again…”

Jimin tried. He did. He formed so many words describing so many things but he just couldn’t get his mouth around them without choking. He squeezed his eyes shut as the frustration overwhelmed him. 

Hoseok sighed softly. “If you think of something along the way, let me know, Jimin. I’ll always listen.” 

Jimin’s frustration only grew with the disappointment he sensed in Hoseok. He reached his hand out to grab Hoseok’s attention back and focused on saying what he could. 

“Look, I don’t really understand what I want or why I want it. Not yet.” Jimin said. “But I’ll learn. We’ll learn together.” He took a deep breath and looked at Hoseok. “What I do know...is that I want you to be my Oppa. I want to follow your rules obediently and hear you call me your good boy. I want to do things that scare me and are maybe a little uncomfortable and I want you to use me, every part of me for your pleasure.” Jimin leaned in closer and licked his lips, breathing heavily as he grew stiffer, his heart pounding in his chest. “I want you to fuck me as hard as you can any way you like whenever you want, however you want.” He looked away--unable to hold his eyes up any longer. “I want to give myself to you. I just...I want to be your…I don’t know...your…”

“My pet.” Hoseok gave him the word he was looking for, telling him his new title for the first time. Jimin raised his eyes up slowly to meet his hyung’s and nodded just slightly. Maybe it had seemed vague, but Jimin had given him a lot more information than he knew he had just now. He had a praise-kink (which was good because Hoseok didn’t think he could help but shower him in praises), he was into humiliation and degradation (though to what degree Hoseok would have to see), and he was very open-minded and not likely to say no to anything without trying it first. And all of it sounded like music to Hoseok’s ears. “And that’s what you are now, Jimin. My pet.” Hoseok’s eyes roved over Jimin’s face lustfully--possessively. “Say it.” 

“I’m...your pet,” Jimin stammered. 

Hoseok exhaled heavily, savoring the buzz of the hit Jimin had just given him. The heat between them was almost tangible. Hoseok slid his hand up Jimin’s thigh, squeezing it hard, trying to take enough of the edge off to continue their conversation. But it was tough. He wanted to crawl on top of Jimin and show him what it meant to be his pet right this second and all through the night. But they had to go over the rules first. My rules

“Take your clothes off, Jimin.” Hoseok said, his voice husky and his eyes never leaving Jimin’s face. 

Jimin’s breathing picked up as he hurried to his feet. It was starting.  

Hoseok was already so turned on that watching Jimin strip was almost painful. The look on his face was so eager and frightened and excited. His face was flushed and his lips were trembling. And his eyes were wide and glazed with lust. How had he never noticed how desirable Jimin was? How exactly his type he was? “Ah!” Hoseok stopped Jimin as he wrapped his fingers around the waistband of his boxer briefs. “Rule Number 1,” Hoseok said, “Remember? I take your underwear off, unless I specifically direct you otherwise.” 

Jimin took his hands from his waistband and let them fall beside him awkwardly, unsure where to place them, as he waited for further instructions. 

Hoseok looked at Jimin expectantly, “Yes, Oppa…” he encouraged him. 

“Yes, Oppa.” Jimin repeated, quickly. 

“Rule Number 2. Mind your manners.” Hoseok said, standing up. “I like my pets to be polite.”

Jimin ruffled a little at the idea that Hoseok had had other “pets,” as he called them. That he was just filling a role that Hoseok had put many anonymous lovers in before. He liked that Hoseok was experienced. He liked feeling in the moment that he was disposable and just there for Hoseok’s use...but Jimin wanted to feel special too. Like he was the only one ever--that as much as Hoseok was his only Oppa--he was his only pet and Hoseok needed him too.

“That means ‘Yes, Oppa,’ ‘please,’ and ‘thank you, Oppa,’ apologizing when you’re naughty or greedy or mess up…” Hoseok ran down the list. “Do you understand, Jimin?”

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin said, as prompted. “Thank you, Oppa,” he added. 

Hoseok smiled at him. “Good boy.” He said fondly. He paused before adding, “You’re to thank Oppa for your punishments too…”

Jimin looked up at him. Punishments? There would be punishments? He felt his cock twitch again. “Yes, Oppa.” he said, nodding.

“Always address me as ‘Oppa,’ or ‘Sir,’ unless otherwise instructed.” Hoseok continued.

Jimin nodded again, “Yes, Oppa.” 

“You’ll learn a lot more rules as we continue to play, Jimin, but the last one I’m going to tell you straight away is the most important.”

Jimin held his breath.

“Are you listening, my pet?” Hoseok asked, taking a step toward Jimin.

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin said, quickly.

Hoseok held his eyes and stepped closer. “You’re not to cum without my permission.” 

Jimin exhaled, trembling, as he felt fire flare through his blood. It was for his Oppa to decide if he got to cum. Hoseok controlled his orgasm or lack thereof. Jimin had never thought of anything so erotic. 

“When we have sex,” Hoseok explained, “it’s never for or about your pleasure. If you get off, it’s because I want you to. Because you getting off will please me . Alternatively, if you’ve done a good job--if you’ve earned it, you’ll find I can be very generous. So before you cum, you better make sure Oppa says you can…” Hoseok stepped even closer to Jimin and caressed his face with the back of his hand, sending a visible shiver through Jimin’s body. “Or there will be consequences…”

Jimin swallowed hard and nodded. My pleasure is for my Oppa. “Yes, Oppa,” he whispered this time because it was the only sound he could manage. 

As Hoseok stared into Jimin’s face, feeling the precious tremble in his cheek, he wondered what he should do next. It was strange for Hoseok to feel uncertainty in this context. He didn’t love it. He was just so wary of making Jimin uncomfortable or frightening him but he wanted to give him the experience he was looking for. He didn’t know if he should be tender or firm--but he wasn’t entirely sure how to be both. He’d never bothered to try before. 

“On your knees, Jimin,” Hoseok said in what he hoped was a soft but commanding tone. 

Jimin’s eyes wavered and his lips parted as he began to lower himself. 

Hoseok caught his chin, “Yes, Oppa,” he reminded him gently.

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin repeated breathless. “I’m sorry, Oppa.” Hoseok let him go and he continued to his knees. 

Hoseok cleared his throat and began to undo his belt buckle, trying not to let his fingers fumble from his nerves. Hesitation wasn’t sexy. But god he was so nervous. “When you get in position to blow me, I want you to grab your ankles and hold them.” 

Jimin complied. The position opened Jimin’s chest and kept him just a little off balance. 

“This gives you less control and it’s your default position for this,” Hoseok explained. “Sometimes, alternatively,” he continued, “I’ll have you put your hands behind your head.” He stooped down and grabbed Jimin’s hands from his ankles and placed them behind his head. “Lock your fingers,” he said. He put one hand over both of Jimin’s and jerked his head around for a moment. “This position gives me more control,” He dropped his hand from Jimin’s head, “when I need it.”  

Jimin dropped his hands too and Hoseok quickly squatted in front of him, pulling his hands back up. “Uhn-uh,” he said. Rule Number 5: “When Oppa puts you in position, you stay in position.”

Jimin locked his fingers behind his head again and nodded.

“Yes, Oppa,” Hoseok prompted again.

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin started before Hoseok finished. “I’m sorry, Oppa.” 

Hoseok tapped his chin affectionately and pressed on. “You’re never to put your hands on me. If you get to use your hands, you get to push off when you want to or use your hands instead of your mouth and that’s not what I want.” People resort to their hands when they’re too lazy to let their mouth do the work.” But you’re not going to be lazy are you?”

Hoseok got to his feet again and finished taking his pants off as Jimin watched him, his hands still locked behind his head. Jimin’s eyes were wide and glued to Hoseok’s body as he undressed, admiring all of the muscles defined on his upper legs, lower stomach, hips, and thighs.  

“Look at me,” Hoseok said, pulling Jimin’s attention from his body.

Jimin raised his eyes to Hoseok’s above him. 

“Open your mouth, Jimin. Stick your tongue out.” 

Jimin complied. 

“This is your default. When my cock comes out of your mouth--because I pull it out--you go back to this. Mouth open, tongue out, eyes on mine.” Hoseok reached down and put his thumb in Jimin’s mouth. “Now close your mouth around it and suck.”

Jimin obeyed and he couldn’t help but moan around his finger. It wasn’t about the finger. It was about the submission. It was Hoseok’s firm tone and his commanding presence. He wanted to show Hoseok that, while he maybe couldn’t say it out loud yet, this is what he wanted.

“Mmm,” Hoseok sighed. “Yes, Jimin. Good. Just like that…” He felt himself starting to stiffen as Jimin obediently sucked on his thumb. Hoseok let him go on for a minute, enjoying the effort he was putting in, and then pulled his finger out. 

Jimin tried to catch it again but then remembered himself and sat back up, opening his mouth, sticking his tongue out, and looking up into Hoseok’s face. 

Hoseok smiled at him proudly. “Very good, Jimin. Very good.”  

Jimin smiled, his tongue still out. 

Hoseok stepped forward and kneeled down to meet Jimin’s eyes. “Here’s a very important rule. Once you’re on my cock--your mouth, your hands, your ass...whatever...stay there until I tell you otherwise. You don’t get to decide when I’m in you and when I’m not.” As he said it, he made a mental note to clarify later that, of course, Jimin had all of the control over when he got to be in him or not--but for the sake of their roleplay, they’d both act as if he didn’t. 

Hoseok stood back up and ran his finger around the inside of Jimin’s lips. “You have such a pretty mouth, baby boy.” He smiled when Jimin moaned at the pet name. “Oppa’s going to use it now.”

Jimin squirmed a little but held his position.

“You remember your safe word, don’t you Jimin?” Hoseok’s fingers probed further into Jimin’s mouth, running along his gums now.

Jimin gulped and nodded. 

“Use your words, baby.” Hoseok admonished him lightly. 

“Yes, Oppa. Daydream.” 

Hoseok tipped Jimin’s face up to him. “Don’t be afraid to use it if you need to. No consequences. I promise.”

Jimin nodded again, “Thank you, Oppa.” 

“Good boy. Now, open your mouth nice and wide for Oppa.” 

Jimin stretched his mouth as wide as he could. 

“You’re so cooperative, Jimin,” Hoseok pulled his fingers out of Jimin’s mouth and ran them up into his hair, tightening his grip and pulling his head back. 

Jimin moaned in anticipation. Over the last week or so, Jimin had acknowledged the notion that he enjoyed being used. But it wasn’t until this moment that he realized how much he desired it. All he wanted was for Hoseok to have his way with him. The want was powerful and he was throbbing and panting as he ached for Hoseok to put his cock in his mouth. He whimpered growing impatient, his jaw sore from holding itself open. 

Hoseok pushed his hips forward, rubbing the tip of his head along Jimin’s lips and wetting them with his precum. Jimin’s eyes closed as he shivered. 

Hoseok tightened his grip in Jimin’s hair and Jimin flinched, his eyes tearing open. “Eyes on me,” he snapped. Jimin’s eyes flew back up to Hoseok’s who was watching him intensely.

Now that he had Jimin’s attention, he should get started. Hoseok loved this. He loved fucking a pretty face. It felt great but it sounded even better. He hoped Jimin was vocal. He gripped the back of Jimin’s head and plunged his cock down his throat with one quick thrust, jabbing against his tonsils. He could feel Jimin choke around him as his strangled noises vibrated around his cock. “Relax, Jimin,” Hoseok cooed, “You’re a big boy, you can take it.” But he pulled out a little anyway to give Jimin a chance to breathe. 

Jimin sputtered and gasped, pulling in as much air as he could, unsure of when he’d next have the opportunity. He focused on using his nose, smelling Hoseok’s musk that was clean but heavy with the scent of arousal. 

Hoseok watched closely as Jimin adjusted and then continued more gently, thrusting slowly and focusing on the satisfying scratch of Jimin’s rough tongue against the underside of his shaft. He pulsed in a languid rhythm, clutching Jimin’s hair to control the movement of his head. He held Jimin’s eyes and he was impressed that, even as they began to water, his gaze remained obediently trained on his Oppa. Hoseok could see the arousal burning in them and it turned him on to see how much Jimin enjoyed this.

Hoseok picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming quicker as his cock made sloppy sloshing sounds as it moved in and out of Jimin’s mouth. Warm, sticky saliva pooled in the corner of Jimin’s lips and then rolled slowly down his chin as Hoseok’s assault on his mouth became more aggressive, the tip of his head moving closer to the back of Jimin’s throat with each thrust.

“God your mouth is fucking perfect, baby,” Hoseok groaned. “Such a pretty, perfect mouth for Oppa to fuck.” He lauded the praise on Jimin knowing how it would affect him and Hoseok’s intuition was rewarded when Jimin’s eyes fluttered in pleasure and he stretched his mouth even further hoping to earn more praise from him. The praise worked. Now for some light degradation. He pulled his cock out of Jimin’s mouth and brought it to rest on Jimin’s cheek. Jimin mouth closed immediately and Hoseok tugged on his hair harshly. “Keep your mouth open,” he chastised him. 

“Sorry, Oppa!” Jimin rushed, and then he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out as Hoseok had shown him. 

“That’s better,” Hoseok said, loosening his grip. He let the saliva build in his mouth and then leaned over Jimin, pushing it out with his tongue until it dripped onto Jimin’s face where it rolled down his cheek to join the saliva already on his chin. Jimin’s eyes became half-lidded as Hoseok pulled his cock over Jimin’s face, smearing their spit as he went. Hoseok let out a low groan as he watched Jimin whimper in pleasure as his throbbing member caressed his slick face. “You’re so pretty, my pet.” Hoseok murmured. “You’re so fucking pretty.” 

Hoseok pulled Jimin’s mouth back onto him roughly and moved one of his hands to hold Jimin’s chin. He held him firmly in place and ground his hips against his face, pushing his cock into Jimin’s throat so deep, he could feel it bulge against his hand through his neck. Jimin sputtered and squirmed beneath him but Hoseok held it a second more, listening intently for Jimin’s hum. When it didn’t come, Hoseok smiled proud, and then pulled back a little making quick shallow thrusts into the back of his throat. Jimin gagged harshly and Hoseok groaned at the sound. He loved that sound. 

“You’re such a good fucking boy,” he grunted through gritted teeth as he roughly humped Jimin’s mouth. “Oppa’s so close, Jimin. Just hold on.” Hoseok felt his cock spasming and knew he was seconds away. “Jimin,” he said quickly, looking the younger in his eyes. “I’m going to cum in your mouth but don’t swallow it yet. Understand? Hold it in your mouth for me.” 

Jimin nodded and hummed an affirmative as best as he could, gagging again as the motion pushed Hoseok against his tonsils again. 

Hoseok increased his pace again and Jimin focused on keeping his eyes open as tears streamed down his face. “Fuck, fuck…” Hoseok swore, sweeping his eyes over Jimin’s face which was covered in spit and tears and precum, flushed pink, lips red and swollen, eyes big and brown and so familiar, too familiar, too friendly, too Jiminie...Hoseok pulled his gaze up as he came, his load heavy and full exploding from him in thick spurts. He clenched his eyes shut too afraid to look down and see his dongsaeng staring back at him from around his cock. But he felt Jimin freeze around him. 

Hoseok took a deep breath, fighting back the guilty-icky feeling that was threatening to surface inopportunely. He focused on the tingling warmth around his cock and the damp, silky texture his fingers were wrapped in and a few seconds later, his desire took back over. 

He pulled out of Jimin’s mouth and knelt in front of him, pushing his hair off of his sweaty forehead. “Open your mouth, Jimin. Show Oppa what you’ve got.”

Jimin opened his mouth and Hoseok looked at the pool of saliva and cum Jimin had collected on his tongue. Hoseok smiled, “Good boy. You can swallow it now.”

Jimin closed his mouth and made a show of swallowing it. His lips pursed and he made a face as the unpleasant taste clung to his throat.

Hoseok chuckled. “That was very good, Jimin.” Hoseok stroked Jimin’s hair as he helped him to his feet. “You’re getting so good at that.” He smiled at him sincerely. 

Jimin beamed back, “Thank you, Oppa.” 

Hoseok raised his hand to the younger’s face and caressed it fondly. “You’re welcome, my pet.” He stared into Jimin’s sweet eyes for a moment wondering if they should stop for today. They’d covered a lot of ground and he didn’t know how long Kook would be out. But Jimin still looked so eager and the way his eyes flickered distractedly over Hoseok’s eyes and lips told Hoseok Jimin wasn’t ready for his lessons to end. Hoseok leaned forward and caught Jimin’s bottom lip in his teeth and Jimin inhaled sharply and leaned into his Oppa as he tugged the soft flesh harshly. Jimin whimpered softly and Hoseok released him. “Did I hurt you?” Hoseok murmured, running his thumb over his lip. Jimin nodded, “Yes, Oppa,” he said softly. But then he smiled, “Thank you.” 

Hoseok chuckled, “There’s a good pet.” He slid his hands down Jimin’s sides, tracing his fingers over his ribs and onto his hips, circling the sharp bones that popped out right above his pelvis. “Now stay still.” 

Jimin froze, trying to keep his breathing normal as his heart pounded erratically in his chest. But how could he not move when Hoseok’s soft but dexterous fingers were dipping below the waistband of his briefs brushing against the skin so close to the center of the fire burning through his body? He lowered himself so that his face was level with Jimin’s member. Hoseok inched the elastic band lower on Jimin’s pelvis, revealing millimeter by millimeter the silky skin below and running his thumbs across it. As he caressed him he noted how sweet and clean he smelled. He was moving slowly, savoring it. 

Jimin could see how much Hoseok liked this. His eyes were full of the excitement of discovery. Like he was opening a present that had been sitting under the Christmas tree for weeks, forbidden until this moment. His tongue peeked out and ran across his lips--they looked so slick and wet and Jimin couldn’t help but push his hips forward toward them. He saw Hoseok’s face change to reveal a hint of annoyance and he jumped as he felt a sharp pinch on his inner thigh. “Ow!” He lowered his hands to rub the painful spot.

“I told you to stay still.” Hoseok said, batting Jimin’s hands away and going back to inching Jimin’s briefs off. 

“M’sorry, Oppa,” Jimin exhaled. 

Hoseok moved his hands around to the back of Jimin’s briefs and pulled them over his full cheeks tensing at the stretch of the band around his ample backside. Hoseok pulled himself in close and brushed his lips against Jimin’s hip bone, sighing as the briefs came down further and he let them fall to the floor. Hoseok helped Jimin step out of the underwear and stood back up. 

He turned around and walked toward the dresser, picking up the glass he’d left there and taking another swig of his whiskey. His eyes moved up and down Jimin’s now nude body and he took his time devouring it, watching as Jimin blushed and fidgeted under his stare. He was building the anticipation and hopefully making Jimin a little anxious. The anxiety would put Jimin on edge just enough to make things a little more interesting. Finally he spoke. 

“Now that you’ve learned how to take a face fucking, time to teach you how you’ll take a good old-fashioned ass fucking.” Hoseok put his glass down but stayed where he was against the dresser. “We’re going to fuck in a lot of positions, Jimin. Positions you can’t even conceive of.” Hoseok had spent some time over the last few days imagining all the ways Jimin’s insane flexibility could come in handy. “Don’t worry, for the most part, I’ll take care of making sure you’re exactly where I want you. But sometimes, you’re meant to just assume the position. You’ll know when to follow my lead and when to get into your default spot. Right now, we’re going to practice the default. Get on all fours, Jimin.” 

“Yes, Oppa.” Jimin obeyed, lowering himself onto the floor. 

Hoseok rushed forward and grabbed Jimin’s arm before he settled himself. “You can do it on the bed this time, Jiminie.” He said, smiling. He didn’t mean to let the pet name slip but it was just such a Jimin thing to do to willingly put himself in a more uncomfortable position than required because that’s what he thought someone he wanted to make happy wanted. “Sometimes we’ll be on the floor, but let’s practice on the bed.” 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin said, smiling sheepishly. He crawled onto the bed and got on his hands and knees. 

Hoseok crawled on after him and ran his hands over Jimin’s body, caressing him lightly. He was so soft, so silky. Hoseok couldn’t resist. He would never be able to resist. Luckily, because he was the Oppa, he’d never have to. “Put your face sideways on the mattress.” 

Jimin complied. 

“And pull your knees together. When your knees are together, it tightens everything up.” Hoseok patted Jimin’s cheek. “That’s nice for both of us. You’ll see…Now, arch your back,” he continued, pressing Jimin’s back down, “and lift your ass more. Get it up as high as you can.” 

Jimin stretched as much as he could. 

“Good, Jimin.” Hoseok praised him. “Just like that.” Hoseok’s eyes traveled over Jimin’s shape. He was so beautifully curvy. He was hard in all the right places and soft in all the right places too. He could tell Jimin was starting to become a little self-conscious as he posed. The look of insecurity in his eye was familiar to Hoseok--he’d seen Jimin carry it with him too often over the last six years. He reached out and stroked his back affectionately. “Mmm, you’re so lovely, my pet,” he said, hoping Jimin could hear his sincerity. 

“Thank you, Oppa.” And Hoseok saw his body relax a little.

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s hands and lifted them off the bed one-by-one, moving them to his ass. “Now grab your cheeks and pull them apart.” He saw Jimin’s fingers twitch hesitantly. He already felt so exposed. Hoseok leaned forward, near to Jimin’s ear. “That wasn’t a request, Jimin.”  

Jimin gripped his ass and pulled his cheeks apart. He shivered as he felt the cold air on his hole. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes on it. 

“Yes, Jimin. Just like that. This is it. Your default position. Are you comfortable?” he asked. 

Aside from feeling very exposed and vulnerable, he felt pretty comfortable, and very turned on. “Yes, Oppa,” Jimin said. “Thank you, Oppa.” 

Hoseok moved close behind Jimin and pressed his hips against Jimin’s ass, his cock folding into Jimin’s crease. “See?” he whispered, his fingers curling into Jimin’s hips. “Perfect height.” He pulled Jimin back against him softly a few times--not penetrating him, just creating some friction. He heard Jimin begin to pant beneath him. ‘So easy,’ Hoseok thought again. “This position is perfect for a lot of things, Jimin.” Hoseok said ominously, releasing Jimin’s hips. 

Jimin felt the bed move as Hoseok shifted but he couldn’t tell where Hoseok was. He gasped when he felt Hoseok’s tongue press against his hole. He flinched, trying to remind himself to stay still and fighting the urge to wiggle away from him while Hoseok flicked and licked and slurrped around his hole. 

“Good for eating.” Hoseok said, pulling away at last and smuggly watching Jimin untense. “Good for touching,” Hoseok caressed Jimin’s hole with his finger and tickled it gently. Jimin made a sound that was somewhere between a moan and giggle. Suddenly Hoseok’s hand came down hard across his ass and Jimin flinched, dropping his hands, falling off his knees and rolling to the side. “Ow,” Jimin half-laughed, more surprised than anything else. 

“Good for spanking naughty boys who disobey.” Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s hips and lifted him again, returning him to his position. “What was the rule, Jimin?” he said. “When Oppa puts you in position, you stay in position.” He rubbed Jimin’s ass where he’d struck it then brought his hand down across his cheek again. 

“Oppa...please,” Jimin whimpered, “Please, fuck me. Please…I can’t wait anymore...please” Jimin’s toes were curled, spasming with pleasure from the spanking his Oppa was giving him. He couldn’t take the teasing and all he wanted was sweet release. “Please, Oppa.”

“Oh, Jimin,” Hoseok said, and Jimin could hear the smirk in his voice, “I’m not going to fuck you.”

Jimin’s head whipped around, “Wh--what?”

Hoseok ran his hands across Jimin’s ass in wide circles, fully aware that it was making the boy beneath him even more needy. “Jimin, you’re just here to learn. And this is a lesson, too.” He leaned forward onto Jimin’s back, his hard cock pressing into Jimin’s crease and putting pressure on his prostate, causing him to release a low guttural moan. “You don’t always get to cum, my pet. That’s really my prerogative.” Hoseok leaned back. “And since you can’t seem to stay in position…” he motioned to Jimin’s head, lifted off the mattress craning to look behind him, “I just don’t think you’ve earned it.”

Jimin growled in frustration. But also in satisfaction. Jimin couldn’t make sense of why his Oppa telling him he wasn’t going to fuck him was almost as stimulating as him doing it. But it was.

Hoseok wanted to fuck Jimin. The whimpering made Jimin even more impossibly tempting. But this was an important power play. Jimin needed to see that the pleasure Oppa could give him wasn’t necessarily dependant on him getting off. And this would make Jimin even more desperate next time. 

“Now say thank you, Jimin.” 

“Thank you, Oppa.” He exhaled through gritted teeth. He was thanking him for this. For withholding his orgasm. For keeping him from getting off. And he meant it. He was thankful. 

Hoseok smiled smugly, hearing the sincerity in Jimin’s voice. “Good boy.” He leaned over and nipped at Jimin’s ass before placing a wet kiss on it. Hoseok shifted off of the bed and grabbed a pair of sweats out of his dresser. As he pulled them on, he watched Jimin, still on the bed, still in position. So obedient. So perfect. He felt a well of pride and affection that didn’t suit the moment so he swallowed it and washed it down with another swig of whiskey. 

Hoseok, dressed in his sweatpants and a loose t-shirt now, crawled back onto the bed and caressed Jimin’s head. He was breathing heavy and his eyes were clenched shut, trying to calm himself out of his heightened state of arousal. “Here, Jimin,” Hoseok said softly. “Put these on.” Hoseok had brought Jimin a pair of sweats and a t-shirt too. 

Jimin sniffed and Hoseok just now noticed there were tears in his eyes. 

“Jimin, are you okay?” Hoseok said. 

Jimin sat up and nodded. “I’m very okay, Hob--Hoseok.” He pulled the shirt on. “Just overwhelmed. In a good way.”

Hoseok nodded. He’d expected this. He’d put Jimin through a roller coaster this evening. Jimin’s tears weren’t psychological--they were physiological. Hormonal from the stress and fear and lust and excitement and a hundred other emotions tugging him in a dozen different ways while his body was being stimulated well beyond its normal capacity. It was a natural response. It would be awhile before Jimin didn’t tear up at least a little after their meetings. 

Hoseok pulled Jimin into his arms. This was the tricky part. After care was so important in this kind of sexual relationship in order to build and maintain trust. If you spent an hour tearing your partner down, you had to make sure to show them affection and respect after too. But this was the intimate part that felt dangerous to Hoseok. Where both he and Jimin were vulnerable to crossing lines they had intentionally set. Hoseok had thought about how best to mitigate this and he decided if they use this cool down time as something more of a debrief, they could still keep things platonic. He set his tone to a warm but formal setting.

“Was that okay, Jimin?”

“Yes, Hoseok.” his voice was raspy from the elder’s aggressive treatment. That could be a problem if it didn’t get better tomorrow. But Jimin couldn’t honestly regret it. “That was amazing, Hoseok. Exactly what I wanted.”

“Was anything too much? Was anything too uncomfortable?”

Jimin shook his head. There was discomfort. But it barely registered except to make everything that much better. If anything, it wasn’t enough. “No,” he shook his head. “Honestly, I enjoyed everything.” He paused, folding a little in on himself self-consciously, “I think I could probably handle more…”

“Yeah?” Hoseok gave him a squeeze. “I’m glad.”  He was glad. Jimin was very receptive to everything he tried. He never gave any indication that it was too much or too intense. In fact he seemed to enjoy all of it. He followed orders well with only brief hesitation, and had been grateful to be denied an orgasm...Jimin had been ideal. It almost seemed too good to be true. 

“I’m so glad you had a good time. I didn’t cover all of the rules today--honestly, I have about 70 of them and I’m sure we’ll probably come up with a few of our own as we progress--but I do have one more that I want to leave you with. It’s the golden rule. The absolute truth of all this and I want you to keep it at the forefront of your mind from now on.” Hoseok pulled away from Jimin and held him by the shoulders making sure he was listening closely and looking him in the eye. “Jimin, I say things in the moment sometimes that should be understood in their context. I just want to make sure that you understand the reality. The reality is that you have the power and you get to decide what we do, when. That’s why we picked a safe word. Any sign of hesitation from you--any indication I get that you’re not 100% into whatever we’re doing, I’ll stop immediately. Even if I look like I’m ignoring you, I promise, my attention is entirely on you. And that business about your pleasure being unimportant or “secondary,”? I hope you know it’s the opposite. Everything that we do in this room--that I do to you, that I make you do--it’s all for you . For your pleasure. That is my priority. Never forget that you’re the one with all the power, Jimin. I’m in control--but you have the power. Okay?”

Jimin felt his chest grow warm and his eyes well. He knew all of this of course. Even if Hoseok had never said it, Jimin felt from the start that Hoseok was doing all of this for him. He was letting Jimin feel used and inflicting pain and withholding his orgasms for him. Of course, Hoseok enjoyed it too. But Jimin knew that what Hoseok enjoyed most was Jimin’s pleasure. Jimin felt so grateful that Hoseok was just as generous a lover as he had always been a hyung. He was the best man. The best person. And Jimin felt more overwhelmed now than ever because Hoseok said all of this, broke out of his role, to make sure Jimin knew that he was respected and safe. 

Hoseok was still waiting for Jimin too respond. He looked emotional and Hoseok thought that was probably a good sign. But for his own peace of mind, he needed to know that Jimin understood that he had the only say that mattered. “Jimin?”

Jimin raised his hand to Hoseok’s face cupping his chin. “Thank you, Hobi. I understand.”

“Hoseok.” The elder reminded him gently. 

Jimin dropped his hand, his smile shifting to a slight grimace. “Hoseok.”

The two spoke for another fifteen minutes or so before Hoseok softly suggested it was time for Jimin to head back to his room. Jimin took a quick shower, dressed himself, and waved a small goodbye to his now-hyung-again, who had his headphones on and was writing in his notebook, before slipping quietly out the door. 

The second the door clicked closed, a smile broke on Jimin’s face and he stared at his hyung’s door fondly, taking a moment to process the internal chaos. He loved that. He loved every second of that. His hand moved to the door knob, contemplating going back in and asking to cuddle some more. But he had the feeling Hoseok might get the wrong idea. He didn’t want to seem like he couldn’t handle this grown up, casual thing they were doing. He could. It wasn’t about that. He just...missed him already. Jimin sighed and backed away from the door, glancing one more time at it before turning and heading back toward his room, a smile still wide on his glowing face.

Chapter Text

“Tae-hyungie-ssi, toss me a banana milk?” 

Tae grabbed a little carton off the snack table and tossed it to Jungkook who had just thrown himself deep into the corner of one of the comfy couches in the lounge. “Anyone else?” Tae asked, looking around to the others as they filed in and took their seats too.

They all shook their heads or waved their water bottles as if to say they were set but Tae grabbed an armful of chips and cookies and an apple for good measure and tossed them onto the coffee table at the center of the group anyway. They’d change their mind and he didn’t want to get up again.

“When do we leave again, Joon?” Jin asked turning to face their leader who was sitting just a little higher than the rest on the arm of the sofa. 

Namjoon wiped the sweat from his face with the towel hanging around his neck, running it up into his dirty blonde hair. “Day after tomorrow. Flight leaves at 9 am so we’ll need to be up early.”

Yoongi groaned. “Too early.” But at least they’d be able to get to the private airport lounge early enough to beat the crowds. He leaned forward and grabbed a bag of chips before grumpily sinking back into the couch. 

“We have two interviews the day we land and then our live television performance on the second day along with another interview. Days three and four we have our concert performance and we fly back red eye so we’ll just barely make it in time to go straight to the Awards Show the next day.” Namjoon didn’t have the itinerary memorized. He was reading it off of a crumpled piece of paper he’d pulled out of the shorts he’d been dancing in all morning. He was a genius, but logistics were never his forte.

Hoseok let out a long sigh. “It’s a tough schedule. At least we’re just doing one song at the awards show. But we’ll need to make sure to pace ourselves and be careful of injuries.”

“Too late,” Jin laughed as he brought his hand up to rub his shoulder that his white t-shirt was straining to cover. It could have been swollen but frankly, it was hard to tell with Jin. 

“Hyung, did you get hurt?” Jimin’s eyes brimmed with concern. 

Jin shrugged and then winced. “It’s just sore, I think. I’ll ice it when I get back to my room.”

“After you see the doctor,” Namjoon interjected. 

“It’s not that serious, Joon…”

“But it could be later and we need you later, Hyung,” Hoseok insisted. “Tough schedule remember?” He smiled, “besides, what’s the point of having a doctor on staff if no one ever visits him?”

Jin agreed with a nod and a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Alright,” Namjoon said, bringing the conversation back to their Japan itinerary, “Song ideas to perform on the live show? Obviously our title but we have a little more flexibility on the other…” 

As Namjoon pressed on, Jimin got to his feet, his eyes still on Jin who was rolling his shoulder around uncomfortably. He walked around the back of the couch and slid his hands onto Jin’s broad shoulders, taking over the task of rubbing away the stiffness. “Ahh!” Jin sighed quietly, leaning his head back to look at Jimin. “My worldwide shoulders thank you, Jimin-ah.” 

Jimin smiled at him warmly. “ARMY would never forgive us if something were to happen to them.” Jin nodded in agreement.

As the members each offered their opinions about what they should perform--Kookie recommending something energetic, while Yoongi suggesting they should pick something complimentary but contrasting to the title track, and Tae begging everyone to consider that the wardrobe had to work for both, Hoseok remained silent, his gaze fondly on Jimin. 

Jiminie was so warm and comforting. He had dropped the conversation entirely to go take care of his oldest hyung and he looked so happy to be able to help. Hoseok had always loved that about Jimin. He was so tender-hearted when it came to his members. There were no such things as favors. If one of them needed something, it was literally Jimin’s pleasure to oblige. Hoseok had been lucky enough to see how that instinct of his carried over into other areas of his life...He watched Jimin’s face as it puckered in concentration, his eyebrows knit together, his pink tongue caught between his lips wetting them, and his head a little tilted to the side so that his blonde hair fell softly over his forehead. He put so much attention into his work, really making an effort to do his best for his hyung. Jimin always does his best for his hyungs. Hoseok felt his own tongue creep out of his mouth slightly. “Eager-to-please Jimin” had taken on a new meaning for him lately...Hoseok quickly pushed the thought down, annoyed at himself for being unable to just appreciate Jimin’s kind, giving nature for itself and not for how it was benefitting him in different ways nowadays. 

But still he watched. He could at least watch.

Hoseok saw Jin make a little gesture to let Jimin know he was ready for his massage to be over and Jimin smiled warmly and patted Jin on his good shoulder before moving way. But instead of taking a seat again, Jimin took a step to the side and put his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders, strong and tan under his tank top. 

Hoseok felt his face harden as he watched Jimin slide his small hands across the maknae’s bare shoulders. He watched Jimin’s fingers press firmly and deliberately into the defined muscles, the pads of his fingers pulling against the sweaty flesh there. Jungkook’s head rolled to the side in relief and Jimin smiled a little smugly. He knew well by now each of their favorite spots and the maknae really liked pressure in the notch between his shoulder joint and his collarbone. Hoseok swallowed. Why did this massage look so much more erotic to him? Hoseok knew why even as the question formed. Jungkook was much bigger than little Jimin. Hoseok was sure that sweet, shy, energetic Kookie didn’t have a rougher side but, if he had the inclination, he could probably toss Jimin around like a doll--and Jimin would love that. Hoseok suddenly wished he was bigger too. Jimin spent another minute or so on Jungkook’s neck and shoulder--though it seemed longer to Hoseok who was watching the massage unfold in slow motion in his head--before he gave Jungkook’s shoulders a little squeeze and moved to Namjoon.

Namjoon was listening to Yoongi argue that Mic Drop, though a little older was always a hit and didn’t require strong vocal prowess making it a good crowd pleaser and a low-impact song for them, so he didn’t notice that it was his turn until Jimin tapped him on the arm. 

“Namjoonie-hyung, slide down, I can’t reach…” Jimin whispered through a pout, poking Joon’s arm.

“Huh?” Joon said but he caught up quickly and lowered himself onto the sofa’s cushion. As Jimin’s hands found their way to Namjoon’s upper back, Hoseok shook his head and tried to pick up on the conversation. But as Joon was speaking it was hard not to notice how his tone was impacted by Jimin’s work. His facial expressions and soft, interjecting sighs of relief, only drew Hoseok’s attention back to Jimin. He tried not to watch but there was something mesmerizing about the pull of Jimin’s small but strong fingers across sticky, tan skin, and the tender but concentrated look on his face that demanded his attention. 

Jimin moved to Yoongi next who was seated on the couch beside Hoseok. It was harder to see from this angle but Hoseok could tell Jimin had considerately switched up his style to accommodate his more sensitive hyung. Yoongi didn’t like deep massages. He bruised easy so he used cupping to alleviate the tension in his muscles. So instead of deep, firm strokes, Jimin ran his fingers delicately over his shoulders, caressing more than massaging. Under different circumstances, Hoseok knew Jimin would be rubbing or patting Yoongi’s stomach. That was his favorite. But he’d only indulge on the rare occasions when there were no cameras around and he had the opportunity to fall asleep during. Out of the corner of his eye, Hoseok watched Jimin’s fingers dance across Yoongi’s neck, fluttering lightly along his nape, tickling, teasing more than touching. Hoseok imagined that must feel so nice with Jimin’s soft, pretty fingers. He heard Yoongi mumble a polite ‘thank you’ to Jimin and Hoseok realized with a lurch that he was next. He knew. He should have known. He’d watched Jimin move to each of them in turn. Of course he’d get one to. But Hoseok was not in the state to be touched by him. Hoseok had been teetering on that fine line between Jiminie and Jimin since he’d started and there was no way he was going to make it through this. All at once the space around him seemed to fill with Jimin. He was enveloped in the smell of  him--the faint sweat from their choreo, the warm musk of his cologne, and then under that the tones of peach and honey that were likely from his combination of shower products but so inseparable from his person that Hoseok thought of it as his natural scent. 

Hoseok saw Jimin’s hands run across the back of the couch toward him and he felt his skin prickle in anticipation. 

“Hoseok-hyung?” Jimin said, too softly, too flirtatiously, offering Hoseok a massage too. Hoseok felt flustered, but Jimin didn’t give him a chance to answer before his long, penetrative fingers were on his traps, his warm pads pulling against his own hot flesh now. Hoseok tensed immediately, bracing himself against the stimulation. He exhaled slowly, trying not to feel the gentle caress of Jimin’s warm breath on his neck. His hands balled into fists tightly in his effort. Jimin noted the tension Hoseok had pulled into his shoulders and followed it, pushing his fingers into the tight muscles there. But Hoseok only tensed further, feeling overwhelmed by all the details he was catching in his hyper-aware state--the texture of Jimin’s fingertips, the gentle occasional scratch of his nails, the hint of chocolate on his breath from the cookie he’d eaten--it was all too much to focus on at once. And way too much to block out. His eyes had fixed on a point on the floor where he stared but saw nothing. The voices around him dulled into a homogenous buzz and ringing over it were the little humming sounds Jimin was making as he worked and the sound of his own breath growing uneven. 

Each point of pressure Jimin applied felt electric. Where their skin met, pricks of heat bloomed and spread down through his chest. Lower. To his stomach. Lower. Hoseok fidgeted feeling the heat reach his pants, stirring him, and his face flushed red as some sick but far-too-familiar cocktail of arousal and shame burned through him. Jimin’s fingers probed further, sliding under the neck of his sweater now. They passed over his collar bone and Hoseok shivered. He felt Jimin’s hands hesitate, his touch becoming less firm and more tentative before changing direction and traveling lightly--oh so lightly--to his special spot at the nape of his neck. Hoseok gasped softly and tensed harder feeling his head lean forward almost against his will to expose more of the spot to Jimin. Jimin’s fingers had just reached the soft curls that grazed the nape of his neck when the caress he expected came instead as a sharp flick.

“Wha--”

“Hob-ah?”

Hoseok heard Joon’s voice in the distance and the world around him slowly came into focus. He shook his head and looked at the leader, noticing with his searching gaze that everyone had been staring at him, concern in their eyes. 

“Hmm?” he said, flustered.

“Are you alright?” Yoongi asked from his side. 

“Huh? Yeah,” Hoseok said, “I’m fine.” He shrugged his shoulders aggressively, shaking Jimin off. “Jimin, don’t you think you should sit down and pay attention?” He snapped, turning his head in Jimin’s direction but avoiding his eyes.

Jimin dropped his hands from Hoseok’s shoulders as if they were suddenly in flames and glared at him. The elder swallowed and braved a glance at him. He could see plainly the anger and betrayal on his face and he dropped his eyes and clenched his jaw, feeling a twinge of regret.

But Jimin should have known better than to be so forward in a group setting. What was he thinking rubbing him like that? Caressing him like that? In front of everyone?  

“Sorry, Namjoon,” Hoseok said, clearing his throat and turning back to the leader. “What were you asking?” 

“How many times do you want to run the choreo before the live show?”

Fuck. What choreo? He hadn’t heard what song they had settled on. “Um...for the title we’ll want to go through it at least three times but it’ll depend on the stage…” In his peripheral, he saw Jimin plop down on the arm of Tae’s chair and Tae’s hand moved automatically to hold Jimin’s. Hoseok felt a flash of irritation but he knew that Tae wasn’t taking sides--if he even knew there were sides to take--he was just comforting his frustrated best friend. But it still made Hoseok want to roll his eyes defensively as guilt fluttered in his gut again. 

“And for Save Me?”

Huh. Good choice. “It’s been a while. Probably three times too--again depending on the stage set up. We need space for that one…”

Jimin didn’t say another word for the whole meeting. If auras were an actual thing, his would have been a fiery red and his angry pout was reaching proportions Hoseok hadn’t seen in quite a long time. After Hoseok explained their rehearsal needs to the group, he also quieted. He had a bitter taste in his mouth from snapping at Jimin like that. If what Jimin had done was inappropriate, him acknowledging the inappropriateness was a bad idea too. Plus, he’d probably embarrassed him. He didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. He should have issued a more subtle reminder. They were both still learning how to navigate their arrangement. Maybe it was his own fault for not setting clearer boundaries. Like “no feeling each other up in front of everyone.” 

Hoseok glanced at Jimin again to find him staring stone-faced at Namjoon. But his eyes were far away and his jaw was tensed and his cheeks pulled in so Hoseok knew he was still really upset. Hoseok hated having Jiminie mad at him. Jimin didn’t hold grudges often--his emotions tended to be more of the intense but fleeting sort--but with how upset Jimin appeared to be he knew if he didn’t nip this in the bud, he might be getting the cold shoulder for a while. So when they all got up to break almost 20 minutes later, Hoseok followed Jimin as he hurried out the door. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok called out as he entered the hallway behind him. His voice was low and heavy. Jimin kept walking so Hoseok quickened his pace and caught his hand, pulling him to a stop. “Jiminie, we need to talk about what just happened.”

“You mean you being a jerk?” Jimin said whipping around to face him. “You embarrassing me and scolding me like a child in front of everyone? Yes. Let’s talk about that.”

Hoseok huffed and swept his eyes up and down the hall. They were alone for the moment but the boys could be right behind them, and the hallway was a main thoroughfare and definitely not private enough for this conversation. He spotted a closet a few steps away and motioned toward it. Jimin folded his arms and rolled his eyes before stomping into the closet with Hoseok in tow. 

Hoseok closed the door behind them and held up his hands in a motion of truce.  

“You’re right. I probably could have handled that better,” Hoseok started and Jimin raised his eyebrows sarcastically. “But you can’t do stuff like that…”

Jimin narrowed his eyes at him, “Like what, Hoseok? What exactly was I doing?”

Hoseok looked at him exasperatedly and gestured furiously to his shoulders, “The--you know what you were doing.”

“Giving my hyung a shoulder massage?”

Hoseok looked at him skeptically.

Jimin rolled his tongue around in his mouth. He was so angry and hurt. He knew that he didn’t do anything wrong. He knew that Hoseok was being defensive and overcompensating because he’d nearly popped a hard-on in front of the group. But he was trying to patient because what they were doing--what Jimin had asked him to do--was clearly more difficult for Hoseok to cope with than him. So he took a deep breath before he spoke, trying to deliver a measured response. “Hoseok, I didn’t touch you any differently than I touched any of them. I didn’t touch you any differently than I’ve touched you a thousand times.” It still came out more biting than he intended but he’d at least managed to avoid swearing for now.

“It was different,” Hoseok insisted. “And it was weird for everyone.”

Jimin threw his hands up exasperated. “It was weird because you tensed up the second I put my hands on you and then you went all senseless and blushy!” Jimin noticed his voice had raised in both pitch and decibel. But he was finding it more and more difficult to let Hoseok blame him for what had turned into an awkward display. I didn’t do anything wrong. Once Jimin had decided to help Jin with his ache, it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do the same for the rest. He hadn’t even considered that it might be awkward as he approached Hobi. Why would it be awkward? It was just a massage. Sure, his head had felt a little fuzzier once his hands were on Hoseok, and his stomach had maybe fluttered a little when Hoseok sighed in pleasure, but he didn’t take any extra liberties. It was a simple, friendly massage. “It would have been weird if I massaged everyone but you.” 

Hoseok shook his head, denying Jimin’s take and thinking back to the massage. It had been different. It had to have been. Because Jimin was right--he’d given him thousands of massages over the last seven years and this was the only one that made him feel exposed and ashamed. It didn’t seem possible that the raw sexual energy he’d felt between them was coming from the same routine massages they’d always shared. Because what would that mean? That would make everything so much more complicated if he couldn’t count on their constants to be constant. That would mean that their friendship had already changed so much—too much. And all the things that used to be “easy” and “comfortable” for them weren’t anymore. And maybe no matter how this ended up, they never would be again. “It was different.” He insisted again, more quietly this time, so Jimin heard it for what it was: a plea for it to have been so, so that what happened to him, what he felt was less scary and shameful. 

Jimin felt his anger ebb as it was dwarfed by a more pressing instinct to comfort and protect. Hoseok was in the wrong for how he spoke to him. But Hoseok was feeling ashamed and embarrassed and confused and that was more important right now. “Okay, hyung. Okay.” He said, softening his face. “Then what’s the right way to have handled that?” He took a step closer to Hoseok, “So I know for next time.” 

Hoseok felt another pang in his gut. He didn’t want to win like this. Because Jimin felt sorry for him. That wasn’t fair to Jimin. He averted his eyes again and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know Jimin...maybe there shouldn’t be a next time…” I don’t want to lose our friendship.

Jimin’s heart stopped. “Okay, no more massages in front of the other guys,” he said quickly, praying that that’s all Hoseok meant. Please let that be what he meant. He couldn’t take Hoseok breaking it off. Not again. Why did he have to go and ruin it like this? He held his breath as he waited for Hoseok to speak. He looked like he was considering something. Probably whether Jimin’s promise not to rub him in public was a good enough compromise.

Jimin finally breathed again when he saw Hoseok nod, “No more massages. At least for now.” At least until I figure out how to feel normal about it.

Jimin nodded along eagerly. “That’s a good idea, Hobi.”

Hoseok finally met his eyes and Jimin smiled warmly at him. “So,” the younger said, extending his hand in truce, “friends again?”

Hoseok looked at his hand and smiled too. “Yeah...friends.” Jimin caught his grimace. 

Hoseok sighed, “I really am sorry, Jimin. I know I was out of line snapping at you like that. I’ll apologize to you in front of the group and make up some excuse about being hangry or something.” 

Jimin shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s probably better if we don’t make any more of it.”

“But I still feel terrible...I mean, you were just trying to be nice...you didn’t mean to cross the--”

Jimin cut him off, “It’s really fine.” He didn’t want to go back to pretending like he was admitting fault here. “I’d rather just drop it.”

Hoseok stepped forward and tilted his head, catching Jimin’s eyes and holding them. “Well then how can I make it up to you?”

The question was naturally rent with tension but the high emotional atmosphere amplified it and they both felt the air grow heavy between them. After a charged moment of silence, Hoseok reached his hand out and placed it on Jimin’s shoulder and followed its progress as he dragged it down his arm until he found his fingers and gently interlaced them with his own. 

Jimin looked up at him. He was so handsome. The only light in the closet was coming from a small window high up on the wall but it was enough to illuminate all the high points on his cheeks and forehead. His jaw was sharp, set suddenly tense in the pregnant silence and the sadness in his eyes was replaced with something much darker. 

Jimin was still angry. He was still hurt. But more than anything in this moment he was grateful. Grateful that after this--after his slip that hadn’t really been a slip, after their argument, after Hoseok nearly calling it off again--that Hoseok still wanted him.   

“Are you sure you’re not going to yell at me again?” Jimin bit his lip as soon as it slipped out. He didn’t mean to say it. He was going for playful, flirtatious teasing but it was too soon to joke about this. Fuck. Now he’s going to get all apologetic and guilty again. But he was surprised when Hoseok let out a dark chuckle and stepped into him. 

“I won’t yell at you. Not if you’re a good boy…” Hoseok lifted Jimin’s hand that he still held above his head and pinned it to the dusty shelf behind him. “And of course you’re going to be a good boy for me, aren’t you?”

Jimin sighed and shivered, his heart pounding at the pleasant turn this had taken. “Yes, Oppa, I will.” 

Hoseok leaned in, pressing his body against the length of Jimin’s, and held his position about an inch from Jimin’s mouth. Hoseok watched as Jimin grew steadily more desperate from the proximity. He teased him, letting his tongue run across his lips, tilting his head slowly to one side then the other, gasping then exhaling loudly, sensually, and flickering his eyes over Jimin’s flushed face but never getting close enough for Jimin’s lips to reach his. 

Jimin was writhing with anticipation under him, creating some very stimulating friction. His squirms only intensified when Hoseok took his free hand and slid it under Jimin’s shirt, wrapping it around his side. He pushed his fingers along Jimin’s body hard enough that he was able to count each rib with his thumb as he passed over it and Jimin whimpered from his grip. He pushed his head forward, impatiently reaching for Hoseok’s lips but Hoseok pulled his head back and dug his nails into Jimin’s side painfully. 

“That’s not being a good boy, is it Jimin?” Hoseok growled, “That’s being a greedy, disobedient boy.”

Jimin whined, frustrated, “I’m sorry, Oppa!” Jimin couldn’t remember ever feeling so needy. Not so quickly. Not with so little build up. But it wasn’t just a physical desperation Jimin was fighting. After the tension and the anger and the brief but devastating fear that he was going to lose all of this , all Jimin wanted was the closeness of his Oppa. He wanted his lips and his hands. He needed to feel him. To know he was still here and this was still real . He needed this to be so much more tangible than it felt right now.

He felt Hoseok’s hand slide down his torso, his fingers tickling punishingly as they went and Jimin’s whole body tensed and untensed in synchronized pulses. Hoseok’s hand moved lower, reaching his button and unclasping it finally . Hoseok still had his face hovering painfully far from his own. Hoseok’s eyes bore into Jimin’s as he used his free hand to pull Jimin’s pants and boxer briefs down around his thighs. Jimin gasped as he braced himself for Hoseok’s touch. 

Hoseok placed his palm over Jimin’s head and rolled it around gently, grazing the tip just enough to gather his precum on his hand and lightly tickle it but denying Jimin any real friction or pressure. Jimin was really wet and it didn’t take long for Hoseok to have enough on his palm to coat his whole shaft. He tightened his grip on Jimin and pulled with long, firm strokes making Jimin’s knees wobble. Hoseok pumped faster, feeling Jimin throb in his hand. He could almost see the heat rising off of his neck as his whole body trembled. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimin’s free hand, which had been gripping the shelf behind him, twitch toward him, fighting to be obedient and still.  

Jimin was building fast. Hoseok was so good at this. Impossibly good at this. Too good at this. He could feel his orgasm approaching quickly and Hoseok hadn’t even taken his shirt off yet. Was that his intention? Just a handjob in the closet? Something to placate him after their fight? No. This wasn’t enough. Not for what Jimin needed right now. Still no kisses. Still no skin on skin. Still not close enough. Still not real enough.  

“Hoseok, Hoseok!” He panted, fighting his impending release. He felt Hoseok’s hand tighten on his cock painfully, “Ahh, Oppa!” he yelped, correcting himself quickly and feeling Hoseok’s grip mercifully relax. “Not like this, please.” 

Hoseok’s eyebrows pulled together and his hand slowed at Jimin’s protests. Jimin had a safeword. Did he forget it? Or was it something else? 

“Use your words, baby,” Hoseok said, sternly but gently, trying to prompt Jimin to be more clear. 

“Don’t wanna cum like this. I want you. In me.” Jimin whimpered, squirming under Hoseok’s grip, nearly crying from the effort of not exploding.  

Hoseok almost laughed. In him. Here. In the closet. Did Jimin not understand how any of this worked? Oh. Hoseok realized with a start. Maybe he didn’t. He was new to this after all. It hadn’t really come up yet. But this wasn’t the time or place to explain. “I think you should just be grateful Oppa’s going to let you cum at all...” he said, returning to his pace. 

He felt Jimin struggle under his grip. It wasn’t so unusual. In his world, struggle was part of the foreplay sometimes. But Jimin had never struggled before. And after the fight they’d had, it made Hoseok uncomfortable. He didn’t want to take any chances if their so-far very natural rhythm was off. “Jimin,” he said softly, leaning in close to his ear, “if you want to stop just use your safe word.”

“I don’t want to stop!” Jimin said through his teeth, using his free hand to push at Hoseok’s torso now. “I just don’t want to finish like this.” He batted at Hoseok’s hand and Hoseok released Jimin’s member. 

Hoseok swept his eyes over his face. His gaze was still full of lust but there was irritation there too. And it was building. It went against every sexual instinct in his body to give in but there was a competing instinct present that was new and powerful and more than anything, he just wanted to take care of his--well of whoever this was under his power at the moment. Plus he owed him for being a jerk. Hoseok released Jimin’s hand and growled as he lowered himself to his knees. “You know you’re going to have to make up for this next time?” he said, trying to reclaim his authority, before taking Jimin into his mouth.  

“Ho--Oppa, in me !” Jimin hissed, relieved but still not satisfied. Hoseok pulled his mouth away and stood up. He’d officially lost his patience.

“Jimin, we can’t just--”

“We can be quick!” Jimin insisted, turning around and putting his hands on the shelf in front of him and arching his ass up as much as he could. “Fuck me, Oppa!” Please. 

Hoseok put his arms on Jimin’s and whipped him back around, pushing his back against the shelf. “You’re not listening. It’s not physically possible, Jimin. It’s not that I don’t want to fuck you, it’s that I literally can’t. Not here, not now.” Jimin’s eyes narrowed at him, skeptically. 

“I don’t have any lube for one, and you’re so so new and tight...and we don’t have the time or the space frankly to play the long game.” Hoseok softened his voice, sympathetically. “It would take a lot of prep to do it without hurting you, Jimin. And I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Jimin was so frustrated. He felt so desperate. Now he was aroused to the point of pain and feeling insecure and rejected. He wanted Hoseok to know that they were good together. To remember how good they were together. And he was just making it worse. He just wanted to fix it. “I don’t care if you hurt me, Oppa.” 

“I care.” Hoseok said, exasperated. Jimin’s face softened for a moment in the pause. 

“We leave for Japan in two days. You have to be able to dance and move around a lot. You can’t be uncomfortable or in pain when—” Hoseok fell back as Jimin suddenly shoved him. 

“Whatever,” Jimin said, turning his back to Hoseok and pulling up his pants. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok said, reaching for him as he recovered from the shock of being pushed. “We can do something else...I can still get you--”

“Forget it…” Jimin mumbled. It wouldn’t be enough. Jimin adjusted his still hard member in his pants as tears welled in his eyes. He felt his cheeks burn red as embarrassment flooded in. “Just forget it.” He crossed the closet in one step and left, slamming the door behind him and leaving Hoseok breathless and a little shaken. 

Hoseok leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, counting to ten to clear his head. What the hell just happened? He exhaled heavily and scrunched his face up trying to stave off the typhoon of mixed emotions he’d become so familiar with lately. He reminded himself for the 1000th time that this is what he gets for taking a beautiful, loving, friendship and bastardizing it with lust. Mutual destruction by guilt and shame. This is what he and Jimin were now. Beautiful. Hot. Wrong

He stared at the door his dongsaeng-pet had just walked out of and sighed. This was already falling apart and it hadn’t even been two weeks.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe you’re already finished packing…” Taehyung plopped down on the bed next to Jimin, dramatically. 

“I’m a professional, Taehyung,” Jimin sighed. “Professionals pack carefully. Instead of throwing everything in his bag 10 minutes before we leave and having to ask staff to buy him underwear and a phone charger and a toothbrush because he missed those in his rushing.”

Taehyung nodded in agreement before realizing that Jimin was taking a dig at him. “Wah, Jimin-ah, don’t I always support you in your bad habits?” 

Jimin laughed, “What bad habits?”

Taehyung sat up, his mouth going slack in concentration. He looked down at his best friend almost surprised. “You’re right, Jimin-ah, you’re actually perfect.” He sounded so sincere that Jimin doubled over in a fit of endeared laughter.  

Jimin sat up too and ruffled Tae’s hair. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll help you pack now.” 

“Nope,” Tae said hopping up from the bed. “Kookie and I have plans to finish our game tonight. We won’t have time in Japan and I don’t want to forget all the tricks I’ve picked up the last few days. I’ve been practicing so much, Jimin-ah...I think I’m going to take him this time...” Jimin’s lips curled up in amusement. He wasn’t. Unless Kook let him. Which he wouldn’t. 

Jimin sighed and shook his head, making a show of his affectionate disapproval. He knew this meant he’d be watching Tae run around frantically in the morning trying to make up for his procrastination so he made a note to set his alarm a little earlier so he could help him out. 

“Plus you have to go make up with Hobi-hyung.” Tae added.

Jimin started, his eyes wide as his head snapped back to look at Tae. He knew Tae was intuitive but this was ridiculous. How could he know about them? About their fight in the closet?! “What?” Jimin asked, a crack in his voice.

Tae looked at him lovingly but patronizingly. “You’ve been sulking all day, Jiminie. You’re still mad he yelled at you yesterday. You have to talk to him so you guys don’t bring a cloud with you on the trip.”

Jimin tried to hide his sigh of relief. Right. The massage. When Hobi yelled at him in front of the group. That’s what Tae was referring to. That’s all Tae was referring to. Jimin nodded, swallowing to ease the dryness that had set in his mouth and chastising himself for his paranoia. “Okay, Tae. I’ll go make up with him. For you.”  

Tae smiled smugly, pleased with himself for having brokered this armistice. “I’m sure he was just stressed out. He’s probably worried about our schedule. You know how he gets trying to keep us all on task and on top of our game. It’s a lot of pressure so don’t be too hard on him.”

Jimin pursed his lips but he didn’t say anything. The truth was he probably owed Hoseok an apology after his dramatics in the closet yesterday. Hoseok had already done his apologies. And it wasn’t his fault that Jimin had a little emotional break down during his handjob. Jimin had planned on talking to Hoseok all day but like his roommate, he was procrastinating. He’d found plenty of absolutely non-negotiable tasks to whittle away his time. First, he had to call his parents and even when his mom had said she needed to go because she was meeting a friend for lunch, he’d still graciously insisted on staying on the phone with her while she walked to the restaurant. And then he had to take a long shower--who knew what kind of accommodations they would have in Japan, this could be his last opportunity to relax for a few days. And, of course, he had to pack very carefully, very methodically to make sure he didn’t forget something crucial like his favorite terricloth chick headband that holds his hair back when he’s doing a mask. But despite all the (faux) productive work he’d accomplished, at this point he was out of excuses and out of time. So 15 minutes later, when Jungkook arrived at their room with an armful of snacks, his laptop bag, and his gaming headphones slung around his neck, Jimin excused himself and made his way to Hoseok’s room.

Somehow his feet shuffled their way to Hoseok’s in a blink. He paused again in front of the door and did a quick check on his emotional state. He thought he seemed fine now. But he was such a mess in that closet, he just wanted to avoid embarrassing himself again. He’d thought a lot about why he’d gotten like that. Why he’d become so emotionally needy. Jimin understood himself well enough to know that he was someone who sought out validation when he was insecure and who craved attention and affection from others but the need he felt yesterday didn’t seem like it was coming from either of those places. It didn’t feel exclusively like lust either--though that was present in spades too. 

What is was, he’d later realized, was fear . Desperate, visceral fear. Fear of losing something. Not Hoseok. Hoseok would be around regardless of what happened. Fear of losing his new sexual outlet? Maybe. Fear of losing sex with Hoseok? That felt closer but it still didn’t make sense to him. Sex would likely be the same with any guy right? It might be better even, though admittedly Jimin couldn’t imagine that was possible. But he had no way of knowing. So that didn’t really seem like the answer either. Maybe it was just the straightforward fear of rejection...Jimin had always desperately feared rejection. And it would hurt so much more coming from someone who knew him so completely. 

Jimin had stopped trying to put his finger on it. It didn’t matter at this point. He just wanted a little reassurance. That’s what he’d been looking for yesterday, he told himself. Physical reassurance that he got to keep whatever he had with Hoseok a little longer. For whatever reason, he needed confirmation that Hoseok wanted him as much as he wanted Hoseok.

But it hadn’t come off that way. It had come off like a needy, bratty, selfish hissy-fit, he was sure. Hoseok was trying to apologize and make-up in his own way--probably in the way he thought Jimin wanted. After all, if he really thought Jimin had been massaging him too sensually, perhaps he was trying to take the edge off for him. But Jimin had cried and argued and broke the rules. He shoved him and abandoned him. So it was his turn to apologize. If he was lucky, Hoseok would be more gracious about it than he had been.

But that was just one of his missions tonight. Aside from apologizing, Jimin also had a favor to ask. That was the part he was really dreading. Maybe he’d get lucky and Hoseok wouldn’t accept his apology and he’d tell him to leave and he wouldn’t have to ask at all...He pushed it to the back of his mind where he’d been keeping it all day, still not quite prepared to manifest the thought entirely. If it comes up, I’ll think about it then

Jimin raised his small fist and knocked softly on the door, half wishing that Hoseok wouldn’t hear it and he’d have an excuse to put this off for a little while longer. But the door popped open before he’d even dropped his hand and there was Hoseok looking comfortable but fine as hell--as usual--in his dark sweats and plain dark t-shirt. 

He stared for a second before pulling his headphones out and smiling. “Hi Jiminie,” he said. “I was hoping you’d stop by.” He held the door open and stood aside for Jimin to enter. 

Jimin walked past him into the room, and he turned back to see Hoseok still standing by the door with his hand on the handle. After a second of contemplation, he turned the bolt on the door locking it. The click was loud and heavy in the silent room and the decisiveness of it sent a shiver down Jimin’s spine.  

He sat himself gingerly on the foot of Hoseok’s bed and Hoseok leaned on the desk across from him. He waited for Hoseok to speak first--just more pitiful procrastination on his part. He didn’t know how Hoseok was feeling but he knew he was going to follow his lead, no matter what. If he was mad, he would grovel. If he wanted to pretend it never happened, that was fine too. Hoseok opened and closed his mouth a few times and Jimin grew anxious in the silence. Finally he crossed his arms and spoke, a tired sort of laugh punctuating his words, “I don’t really understand what happened yesterday…” There was levity in his voice but clearly a deep concern as well.

Jimin’s cheeks tinted a soft shade of pink and he scrunched his face a little. “Yeah. Honestly, I don’t really know either.” He shrugged, apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

You’re sorry?” Hoseok said incredulously, “ I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Jimin shook his head. Of course Hoseok would blame himself. “You didn’t. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all. I was just bad at communicating what I was looking for. And I wasn’t playing by our rules so I was sending mixed signals.” 

“You weren’t uncomfortable? So you were just angry about the massage thing and not what I was doing to you in the closet?” Hoseok asked, visibly relieved but still cautious. Hoseok had been afraid that because of their fight, Jimin had taken his aggression and dominance a little more personally. It wasn’t unheard of. You were never supposed to play like that when you’re angry. Hoseok should have thought of that before initiating anything in the closet...  

“No, I wasn’t angry about what you were doing in the closet...If anything I was...I was angry about what you weren’t doing in the closet.”

“Having sex with you.” 

Jimin tilted his head, searching for the right words, the right way to say it, “Yes...but…not really that .” 

Hoseok shook his head, looking apologetic that he wasn’t understanding. 

Jimin was wringing his hands anxiously. “I was mad at you for yelling at me about the massage, yes. But...I wasn’t so mad that I questioned, for a second even, what we were doing--what we have been doing. But in the closet, you did . You seemed like this small thing was making you reconsider our arrangement. I just...I got scared.” He looked at his hands, his expression pained and embarrassed. He didn’t plan on telling Hobi all this but he’d always been so open with him it seemed almost unnatural not to be honest now. “I guess I thought if you remembered how good I wa—how good it was...you would keep me. I just didn’t want to lose...this...again.” He trailed off, uncertain.  

Keep him. Hoseok felt sick. “So you were afraid that I was going to call things off and you thought I would change my mind if you had sex with me again?” He clarified, his voice thick.

Jimin thought it sounded about as pathetic as he felt. “I guess, kind of…”

Hoseok felt his heart convulse angrily. Jimin was afraid that Hoseok had one foot out the door and thought the most compelling thing he had to offer him to get him to stay was his body and what their bodies could do for each other. He thought it would make me want to keep him. Like he was a toy that had a use and would be disposed of when it no longer worked. Hoseok couldn’t ever remember feeling so gutless and gross. 

If the words weren’t horrible enough, the look on his face was absolutely brutal. Fearful, ashamed, embarrassed, insecure...Hoseok didn’t know if it made him want to scream or cry or kiss his pretty face until he smiled again. What it absolutely did make him feel though, above everything else, was failure. He had failed Jimin . He’d led him to believe that all he was interested in was his body. That he was like every other pet he’d ever made his own--whose names he couldn’t remember, whose faces he couldn’t pick out of a crowd, whose various types of giggles had never been organized so tidily in his mind, categorized by what Hoseok had to do to hear them again. He had let him forget how much he meant to him. How much he cared about him. How much he loved him. 

Yes, Hoseok wanted to keep those feelings separate. Yes, he needed there to be a hard line between this love and affection, and their sexual arrangement. Yes, he’d meant to make Jimin feel like his pet who was there to please him. But only during a scene. Only when they played. Not in real life. Not in their real life . But apparently, when the clothes came off and the words became harsh and the hair ruffles turned to yanks and pulls--when he resigned his role as hyung, he’d never managed to fully pick it back up after. 

So that’s what he needed to work on, then. The anonymity in the bedroom that was critical to the comfort of his conscience was fine. But the corresponding growing distance in their day-to-day was not. He never meant to make Jimin feel like he had to walk on eggshells so Hoseok would keep him

I may be having a hard time but I want to do this and that’s what Jimin deserves to see. Not my hesitation. Not my fear. He’d always been so good at hiding his doubts and fears and stress from everyone. Why was he doing such a shit job of it now when he knew how much it could hurt Jimin? Hoseok was so angry at himself, so disgusted with his selfishness. But he wouldn’t let Jimin see that guilt. He wouldn’t let Jimin see any of that anymore.

Jimin cleared his throat quietly.

Hoseok looked up at him, aware suddenly of how long he’d been silent. 

“I’m sor--” Jimin started, but Hoseok shook his head, cutting him off. 

“I don’t want you to worry about any of that, Jimin.” He said firmly. “I’m in this. Okay?” 

Jimin’s face held its composed, apologetic expression but he felt his heart jump. I’m in this . It was everything he’d wanted to hear. And he sounded confident in his conviction. 

“I want this, too.” Hoseok continued. “I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear. I should have made that clear.” His eyes were sincere and his voice was even but Jimin could tell there was a hard edge to it. “And I’m not going to yank you around about that either, Jimin. You don’t have to feel like I’m ready to walk away. Please don't feel like that. I know that I’ve been a little tough to deal with. I’m just having a little trouble getting my footing with this. But I’ll figure it out. It’s my problem, Jimin, not your’s. You don’t have to worry about it. I’m sorry you’ve been worrying about it.”

Hoseok smiled gently as he saw Jimin visibly relax a little at his promise. He hoped it was clear now. He hoped Jimin believed him. He did want this. Why he wanted it, the fuck if he knew. It was hell, if he was being honest. He considered that he may actually be more of a masochist than a sadist, but he thought it was probably just fear for him too. 

He hadn’t realized until the massage that he’d already lost so much of their friendship but now he knew there was no going back to how he and Jiminie used to be. He’d spun a little yesterday after Jimin left the closet, lamenting how he missed walking into a room, seeing Jiminie, and filling to the brim with joy and love and affection. He missed easy. He missed comfortable. He missed simple friendly massages in the lounge. What they were doing was hot and frankly, fucking incredible, but it wasn’t easy or comfortable and it had changed who they were as a pair. He couldn’t even look at Jimin without the bitter taste of guilt and fear settling in the back of his mouth. 

So yesterday, in the closet, for the hundredth time he had considered backing out. But there was no guarantee that calling this off would put things back the way they were. In fact what Jimin had just confessed--that his panic in the closet yesterday was borne of the mere fear of losing this--all but ensured that breaking this off would mean a deeper emotional divide between the two of them, not a reunion. So all he had left was this sexual status quo where he at least got to sneak a brief cuddle or casual flirt in during some rare moment where the tension eased. And he got to get off. And if sporadic affection, awkward massages, and earth-shaking orgasms were all Hoseok could have with Jimin now, he would take it. Even if it hurt. That meant he was in this. 

“Okay?” Hoseok looked to Jimin to make sure he understood. “So we’re not going to worry about that anymore, right?” 

Jimin smiled happily and nodded. “Thank you,” he said quietly but with vehemence. 

Hoseok smiled back. Okay. Be a hyung now. He stood, holding his arms open and Jimin nearly leapt to them, throwing himself into Hoseok’s chest and burying his face in his shoulder. 

He wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s ribs so tightly, he could have touched his own elbows and he inhaled him slowly, deeply, the clean familiar smell settling over him like a warm, weighted blanket. It occurred to him suddenly that he hadn’t actually hugged Hoseok in a while. A long while. Maybe longer than they’d ever gone without hugging. They been close in so many ways. Messy, sweaty, sticky ways. But not like this. He missed this. But the nostalgia of the hug was secondary to the relief that was flooding through him, filling him with fizzy bubbles like he was a champagne flute. He felt a little selfish feeling this good because he knew that Hoseok still had so many doubts. But he couldn’t bring himself to linger on that. All he had to do was trust Hoseok to keep his word and that was as easy as breathing. Hoseok was in this. And he wasn’t going to lose him if they got in a little argument. 

Hoseok held him tightly and rubbed his back comfortingly a couple of times, lifting Jimin from his thoughts and planting him back steadily in front of him. Grounded again, Jimin noticed that the hug felt warm...but also distant. Restrained, and Jimin felt a little sad to realize that even this was hard for him . Hoseok planted a chaste kiss on the top of his head and gave him a little squeeze before releasing him. Too soon for Jimin’s liking but he didn’t want to push it. All things considered, this had gone more smoothly than he hoped for.

But the downside to that was that now he had no excuse not to ask for his favor.

If the apology took grace, the favor would take nerve. It wasn’t the kind of thing that comes up comfortably. It didn’t make him look cool or sexy or clever either. It made him look young and small and inexperienced--all the things that made Hoseok so jumpy and sensitive about their “arrangement” as he called it, in the first place. But he couldn’t think of another way. He needed his help. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He asked, dropping his hands reluctantly from Hoseok and taking a couple steps away before turning back to face him.

Hoseok tensed. He couldn’t help but get paranoid whenever Jimin looked this nervous. There were so many elephants in the room at any given time. So many cans of worms just barely sealed shut. Any number of awkward questions that could turn into tense conversations with not so happy endings...but he smoothed out his face and shrugged. He wasn’t showing Jimin any of that anymore .

“Sure. What’s up?”

Jimin chewed on the inside of his cheek trying to think of a way to ease into this. He meant to go over it. He’d tried. But he kept giving up before he came up with anything that seemed...not weird or awkward. He was kicking himself for not just biting the bullet then so that he wasn’t left coming up with something on the fly now. 

Yesterday in the closet when Hoseok had said it was physically impossible to have sex with him, Jimin didn’t understand. He was suspicious that maybe Hoseok was just making excuses and counting on Jimin to not know any better. But because Jimin didn’t know any better and he didn’t want to make a bigger fool of himself, he’d just accepted the point. So later that evening, after Taehyung had put on his headphones and started playing games in his bed across the room, he’d gotten on his laptop and done some probably long-overdue research. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to figure out where to start. He typed and deleted and retyped every variation of “why does gay sex take so long?” he could think of but he didn’t know what else to look for so he’d hit “search” and tried to sift through the results until he found something that could at least give him a better idea of what to search next. It was an education to be sure. About  a lot of things. And it turns out Hoseok was right. It was a little more complicated than “wiggle wiggle thrust.” But he’d also learned that there were shortcuts they could take. Things that could make it quicker and easier. But Hoseok probably would know more about that--he was counting on Hoseok to know more about that--if Jimin could swallow his pride and ask. 

“So...I was doing some research and...I understand now that...um...getting me ready...can take a little while. I-I’m going to start working...on it...a little every morning…I tried a little this morning...” Jimin was so red. Hoseok could feel his own ears burning too as he fought his facial muscles to keep an open expression. For the moment, this was still that gray area Jiminie he was speaking too. He hadn’t stripped away his dongsaeng-ness enough for this conversation yet, having forced himself to stay in hyung mode long enough to be a comfort. But he could tell Jimin was skittish and stopping him might deflate him entirely. The Oppa in him was proud that Jimin felt comfortable enough to tell him this. But the other part, that was way too prevalent right now, was mortified.

“I read about this thing...a...pl-plug? That could help keep me...um...ready…”

Pretty lips. Pretty thighs. Sexy thighs. Fluid hips. Strong hips. Strong back. Tensed. Sweaty. Sighs. Bites. Nipping. Nibbling. Devouring. Hoseok exhaled slowly as his mind did a spoken-word style play-by-play of the sexual pat down he was giving Jimin. It was more difficult to get there this time...probably because he had just shamed himself for not being hyung enough. For being too impersonal. But this was the right time to be the impersonal but affectionate Oppa. Hoseok cleared his throat and lowered his voice, hoping that the tone would help the mood in the room change enough to complete the transition, “Jimin, I don’t mind getting you ready. It’s my pleasure.” That rolled off of his tongue gravelly and more easily than he’d hoped. Good. 

“I know…” Jimin mumbled, “but I thought for when we had less time...it might be more efficient for when we have to be quick.”

Ah. Hoseok understood.  “This is because of what happened yesterday.”

Jimin shrugged, “I mean, kind of. I get now why we couldn’t. I understand. But I think it’ll be practical in the future, too. If we’re in a rush or something--we don’t have to settle for just our hands…not that your hands aren’t amazing...it’s just sometimes, maybe, I might want more. You might want more. And I want to be able to...be of use...”

Hoseok almost corrected him, their conversation and Jimin’s heartbreaking “keep me” still fresh in his mind. But he was Oppa now and his pet should want to be of use. He wanted to use Jimin. Not just for him but because that’s what would bring Jimin the most pleasure, too. He didn’t want to want that. Not right now. Not on the heels of the gut wrenching revelation that Jimin thought that was all he wanted. But that notion that had turned his stomach five minutes ago was sending hot licks of desire to his groin now. This is too tricky. It was no wonder they kept getting mixed up and confused. How was he supposed to look out for the interests of his pet and his friend when they were in tension like this? How was he supposed to care for his dongsaeng when their sexual relationship was so dependent on obscuring him? But at the end of the day, Jiminie came first. Always. And as much as the idea of his sexy little pet walking around with a toy in his ass turned him on, Hobi would be livid at Jiminie for subjecting himself to that discomfort for some guy. So he reigned in the part of him that was itching to tell Jimin what a dirty slut he was for wanting to make himself even easier and tried to offer some more brotherly advice instead. “Jimin...it’s not exactly comfortable to walk around with one of --”

“Well I could give it a try, at least!”

“It’s very thoughtful, Jimin, but you really don’t--”

“It’s not for you, Hoseok--” Jimin cut him off, sounding annoyed. Okay, it was. It was for Hoseok. But it was also for himself. Since he’d learned about it yesterday, he had fixated on the idea of being a walking release for Hoseok. Available and ready at a moment’s notice for whatever his Oppa needed. If he was angry and needed someone to take it out on. If he was happy and needed a way to celebrate. If a friendly massage got a little out of hand or he was stressed out about a performance and he just needed to take the edge off. Jimin wanted to be able to please him. It made him feel powerful to see want and desperation in Hoseok’s eyes and then ease it in a way that no one else could. 

Also, it was his fucking choice. 

Hoseok opened his mouth to argue again but Jimin looked very determined. His sharp pixie-like jaw was set firm and his small nose was turned upward petulantly. It was part adorable and part sexy and entirely effective so Hoseok just closed his mouth and nodded. “Okay, Jimin.”

Jimin looked surprised for a second, probably expecting more pushback, but he nodded in a way that he hoped looked confident, like Hoseok had given him the only right answer. Honestly, he was relieved that Hoseok had conceded. Jimin would never admit it but he wanted Hoseok’s permission. For some reason that he didn’t want to think too much about, that made the whole thing even more exciting. “Good. It’s settled then. I’ll give it a try.” 

Hoseok smiled at him. Jimin thought it looked a little patronizing but he appreciated that Hoseok was letting it go and trusting him to make the call. 

Jimin teetered on his feet a little, and sucked on his teeth, his satisfaction and relief quickly dissolving into embarrassment again. He huffed and cleared his throat, choking back what pride of his remained. “But...um...I don’t exactly know how to get ahold of one…” he looked at Hoseok sheepishly. 

To Hoseok’s credit, he almost managed to entirely suppress his smirk. Almost.

He let out a long sigh that was heavy with a feigned condescension and gestured for Jimin to follow him with his finger. Jimin almost skipped after him, relieved Hoseok didn’t use this hiccup in his grand plan as an excuse to get his way. 

Hoseok lead Jimin around his bed and knelt on the floor next to his nightstand. He reached under the frame and pulled out a wooden chest. It was plain with no obvious ornamentation but the wood was a rich, deep red, and it was large enough that Jimin was surprised it fit under the bed. Jimin watched as the elder ran his hand across the highly-polished lid and saw his eyes darken possessively. He lifted the box, hardly straining (though the veins on his hand revealed the heft of the task) and sat on the bed, holding the chest on his lap. He gestured for Jimin to join him and Jimin sat at his side as he shifted the box to lay across both of their laps.

“What is it?” Jimin whispered, sensing the sanctity of the moment.

“This is my toy chest,” Hoseok said reverently. He peeked up at Jimin whose eyes were wide and curious.

Hoseok fumbled with the latch, his fingers fighting to keep his secrets safe. He’d never shown anyone his toy chest. It was full of all his dirty little secrets. Well maybe not all--but a lot of them. Hoseok had wrestled with his predilections long enough to have gotten over his embarrassment or shame about them but exposing this to Jimin was a big step. He didn’t want to frighten him. He didn’t want him to think he was depraved or overwhelm him with a bunch of scary looking tools and contraptions. He took a deep breath and slowly lifted the lid. He heard Jimin gasp and he tensed as he waited for Jimin to take it all in.

The strong scent of sanitizer wafted up from the box and Jimin felt a smile tug at his lips. Hoseok was such a clean freak. But then, these were the types of things you would want to keep very clean. He let his eyes wander over the various items in the box, swallowing hard as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Jimin recognized some of it. There was a lot he didn’t, though. But the research he had done had given him enough of an overview to guess what some of the more foreign items might be for. There were at least a dozen different bottles of lube with different colored labels in as many different languages. Hoseok was a connoisseur, apparently. Jimin didn’t know there were so many kinds and he couldn’t imagine what could be so special about each one to earn it a place in Hobi’s box. It crossed his mind that he’d like to find out.

There were lots of condoms too. But only one style of one brand. Hoseok must be more particular about those. The boxes looked luxurious, made of a heavy cardboard that was dark and embossed with gold script in a foreign language. Designer condoms? Jimin mused. That would be very Jung Hoseok. 

There was something--or maybe a few things that blended together--toward the bottom with shiny black feathers. But despite the plumes, it didn’t make for a soft or playful image at all. A lot of the contents were black. Some feathers, but more leather. There was a lot of leather. Shiny straps of it attached to a dark wooden handle. A strange cage-like harness that almost looked like a skelton’s torso--if skeletons were brush patent and studded with silver spikes. A smooth plane of a supple variety in the shape of a paddle. And something strappy with a hot pink ball in the middle that Jimin recognized as a gag. Jimin felt his face flood with color, heat coiling like a furnace under his collar as he remembered Hoseok’s hint that his mouth might be obstructed sometimes. He fidgeted where he sat, seeking friction where his pants had tightened, and he felt light headed. 

Jimin finally let his gaze fall on the most obviously identifiable and intimidating objects in the chest. His eyes had been avoiding them the whole time. There were a number of dildos packed neatly in one corner. Though Jimin had no trouble identifying them as such, they were all just slightly adjacent to normal. One was very textured with bumps and ridges up and down the (rather obscene) length. One looked like it was made of a firm but flexible silicone and had a suction cup attached to the end. Still another was thick but stunted--maybe four inches--and made of clear glass. That one had straps attached to the base of it but Jimin couldn’t imagine what for--it looked too small to wrap around a pair of hips. 

Hoseok watched Jimin’s face carefully as his eyes roved, wide and curious, over his toys. His mouth was hanging slightly open and he kept making soft little gasps each time he discovered something new. His cheeks were flushed a sweet, rosy pink. He looked positively edible. But more importantly, he didn’t look horrified. He looked intrigued if anything. Hoseok noted his restless hips. He was turned on. And that made two of them. 

“Wow,” Jimin exhaled, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He didn’t do it seductively--it was subconscious, maybe unintentional, which somehow made it more enticing to Hoseok. 

Hoseok reached into the chest and grabbed a small, shiny black plug tucked alongside his collection of dildos. It was smooth and only about an inch in diameter at its largest point. He held it up in front of Jimin and smiled gently at him. “What do you think?” he asked quietly.

“It’s small…” Jimin murmured.

“Let’s start small.” His voice was soft but firm. It wasn’t a suggestion. 

Jimin didn’t argue. It was enough that Hoseok was letting him borrow it. And...maybe it was a good idea. When he thought about where he would be putting it, it looked plenty big.

Jimin grabbed it out of his hand and studied it as it lay intimidatingly in his palm. “I don’t know how to use it,” he confessed.

Hoseok couldn’t help but chuckle, endeared. “I’ll show you.”

Jimin smiled back gratefully. “Thanks, hyung.”

“Hoseok,” Hoseok corrected instantly. “Or Oppa. I’m not your hyung right now, remember?”

Right. He wasn’t sure when it switched. It hadn’t for him. It never did. It had probably been before the box. Maybe right after the hug even. How did he expect Jimin to just know? Sure, he was offering to show him how to use a sex toy but he was also smiling at him with kind eyes and, you know, not pulling his hair or anything. But he wasn’t going to start an argument about it. “So I don’t have to speak formally?” Jimin said playfully, challenging him. 

Hoseok’s eyes darkened. Feisty Jimin was one of his favorite Jimins. He liked it when he gave him an excuse to be more aggressive and punishing. He moved his toy chest off of his lap to sit on the table beside them and leaned forward into Jimin. “Well you still have to mind your manners like a good pet…” He bit at his lips, using his teeth to nip at the plush flesh but he pulled away before Jimin could lock on, denying him the kiss he could feel him trembling for. He climbed off the bed and crossed the room to pull his curtain closed. It’s not like anyone could see in, but it made for a moodier ambiance. “You know what happens to naughty pets...” he drawled, taking his time as he adjusted the heavy curtain. “Or I guess you don’t, do you?” He turned around as if this was a surprising revelation. “You’ve been pretty well behaved thus far.”

Jimin smiled a little, feeling proud. “Thank you, Oppa.”

Hoseok approached Jimin and the younger instinctively leaned back on his hands a little. Hoseok noticed and smirked. He was glad Jimin was a little jumpy. The more on edge Jimin was, the more powerful Hoseok felt. He raised his hand and ran his fingers through Jimin’s blonde tresses, “I know you like being a good boy for me. Oppa is proud of you, baby.” Jimin’s eyes slipped closed, feeling the praise in his bones. “Wanting to please me so much. Wanting to be so useful for me.” The phrase still rubbed him wrong somewhere deep but they both shivered as he praised him and the discomfort was stamped out, for the time being at least. “Such a good boy.” 

Jimin sighed, his head moving with the tug of Hoseok’s long fingers. 

“Do you want Oppa to show you how to make yourself more useful?” 

His voice was hypnotic, and Jimin nodded mindlessly along until he felt a sharp tug on his hair. “Agh,” Jimin winced. 

“Speak.” Hoseok ordered, his voice sharp and gruff. 

“Please show me, Oppa. Show me how to be useful for you.” Jimin breathed, pushing the plug into the elder’s hand. 

“Of course, my pet.” Hoseok cooed, taking his hand from Jimin’s hair and caressing his face affectionately. He pulled away and held up the small toy. “But not with this…”

Jimin looked confused, “but I need to learn--”

Hoseok whipped around and grabbed Jimin’s chin pressing his cheeks in together, making his lips push out in a pout. “ You need to learn not to talk back…”

Jimin’s eyes immediately glazed over and his eyelids flickered sensually. “Yesh Oppah” he said through his pinched cheeks. 

Hoseok smiled and let him go, giving him two light pats on his jaw. “Good boy.” 

Jimin sucked in a breath through his teeth and resisted the urge to rub himself through his pants. But he suddenly felt so needy for his Oppa and he leaned toward him, unconsciously following him as he moved back to his toy chest.

Hoseok dug into his box and found what he was looking for quickly. He turned to Jimin and held up a shiny, stainless steel, napiform device. At its largest point, it was about the circumference of a golf ball and then tapered to point about 4 inches down. Toward the tip, there was another swell that would put pressure exactly on Jimin’s prostate. The base of the plug was flat and shiny and about the size of a quarter. “We’re going to practice with this.”

Jimin’s eyes were wide and Hoseok could see the question in them so he answered it before Jimin could ask, sparing him an inevitable discipline. “It’s bigger than what you’ll be using so it should make your’s easier. It works the same way--but yours will be more comfortable.”

Jimin nodded. It was a good idea.

Hoseok smirked. “Plus, this little guy has some extra features that I’ll let you enjoy if you promise to be really good.”

Jimin gulped and wondered what Hoseok meant. The toy looked simple enough. Plain even. It was smooth and large, but small in comparison to a lot of the toys Hoseok could have pulled out of his box to practice with. But Hoseok held it up so proudly and looked at it with such fondness, that Jimin knew it must be special.

“Hold this,” Hoseok said, holding the device out toward Jimin.

Jimin reached out to grab it but Hoseok pulled it away before he could. “Un-uh,” Hoseok chided him. Jimin looked confused until Hoseok said, “Open your mouth.” 

Jimin’s eyes lit up, an eager smirk crossing his lips before he held his mouth wide. 

Hoseok popped the toy in carefully and spun it around a couple times pressing it against Jimin’s tongue, his own mouth falling open as he watched Jimin’s breath fog up the metal. Jimin kept his eyes locked on Hoseok’s face, relishing the hunger he could read in his eyes as he tongued the toy.

He let go of the toy and Jimin closed his mouth around it. Hoseok moved his hands to Jimin’s pants and unbuttoned them. He made fast work of pulling them off before moving to his shirt and tearing it off over his head. He tossed the clothes unceremoniously aside, and turned away from the younger who was still perched on the edge of the bed. “Scoot back,” he said. He moved to his chest and dug through his lube bottles, pulling out one that would get the job done but wouldn’t steal the spotlight. He glanced back at the bed to check that Jimin had complied. “Further. And get in position. You remember it, don’t you?” 

It sounded like a question but Jimin was sure there was a thinly veiled threat there too. Luckily, Jimin did remember. He’d always been a very fastidious student and he’d gone over the rules Hoseok had given him until he knew them backward and forward and hopefully blindfolded. He’d been anxious for an opportunity to show his Oppa how well he could obey him. For good measure he hummed “Yes, Oppa.” It wasn’t intelligible but he thought Hoseok might appreciate him making the effort anyway. 

He pushed his face against Hoseok’s mattress, enjoying as usual the warm, clean scent of it--the Hoseok scent of it--and pulled his knees together. He arched his back, pushing his ass high into the air. He moved his hands behind him and gripped his cheeks. His underwear was still on so he wasn’t sure about the purpose of this part of the pose but he wasn’t going to alter it without explicit permission. He waited silently just like that for at least a minute but grew anxious when Hoseok didn’t speak or join him. He craned his neck to look for him and found him still digging in his chest. What he was looking for, Jimin couldn’t know, but he was suddenly a little nervous. Jimin was about to make a sound to get his Oppa’s attention but before he could, he’d already turned around. He didn’t see what Hoseok had pulled out of the chest but his fist was closed as he approached the bed again. 

He was still fully dressed when he crawled onto the bed beside Jimin. Hoseok laid down on his side next to him, pressing his cheek against the mattress so that their faces were about an inch from one another. Hoseok laid there, silently, his eyes boring into Jimin’s and Jimin suddenly felt a little embarrassed to be so submissive and pliant, posing exactly as he’d been told to next to him. Hoseok smiled, and raised his hand to caress Jimin’s cheek. “Look at you,” he cooed. “So pretty. So perfectly positioned for Oppa.” 

Jimin’s eyes would have slipped shut from the pleasure of Hoseok’s praise but then he would have had to stop looking at him. Hoseok didn’t do eye contact much. Not when they were like this. Jimin was sure this wouldn’t last long so he enjoyed it while he could. And he did enjoy it so much. Seeing the want in them, the desire churning in the deep brown pools. The affection somewhere under that and then deeper, so deep down that Jimin might have convinced himself he was imagining it if he didn’t know Hoseok better, the love they shared as longtime friends. It was comforting and familiar and exciting. For him at least. But he’d barely glimpsed it before Hoseok was already pulling his eyes away and sitting up. 

Jimin felt his whole body shiver. Technically, it had already started. He was almost naked, laying on Hoseok’s bed with a toy in his mouth and his ass in the air, holding his cheeks spread obscenely open. But now it was really starting. Hoseok was somewhere behind him, on his knees, moving out of Jimin’s line of sight but still near enough that Jimin could feel the heat that radiated off of him. He gasped when he felt Hoseok’s hand graze the side of his leg. 

Hoseok pushed his hand between Jimin’s thighs which were clenched tightly together. “Spread your legs, sweetheart,” he said, his voice rough already. 

Jimin’s knees slid apart and he sunk lower into the bed. 

Hoseok ran his hands up the back of Jimin’s thighs, relishing the quiver he felt under his milky skin. His hands rounded over his curved backside and Hoseok allowed himself a moment to savor the beauty spread out before him. Soft, pretty, delicate, pliant. A feast of excess. He would never have enough of him. But he would try. As often as he could. 

He lifted Jimin’s hands from where they were holding himself and folded them behind his back. He kneaded his hands into Jimin’s cheeks, fingers pulling at the thin fabric stretched over them and he couldn’t resist sinking his teeth in just a little, letting his bite graze his fleshiest parts. Sliding his long fingers under his waistband, he eased the briefs down, inch by inch, watching with glassy eyes as the soft, pink skin underneath was revealed. He lowered the briefs until they hung stretched between Jimin’s knees, digging lightly into the muscles on each side. 

Jimin shifted to lift his knee, probably assuming that Hoseok intended to pull the underwear all the way off, but the elder pushed it back down. The underwear stays on. There was something about them being half off that felt dirty and he wanted Jimin to feel dirty.

Jimin felt the weight on the bed shift again and he tightened his core to keep himself from losing balance. But the burn from his flex disappeared when he felt the searing heat of Hoseok’s tongue drag against his hole. He bit down on the toy in his mouth, his teeth clicking impotently against the steel as his body jerked from the surprising stimulation. 

Hoseok pulled away levied a hard flick right on Jimin’s puckered bud. 

Jimin grunted and his body twisted away from the sharp contact. 

Hoseok planted his hands firmly on Jimin’s waist and held him in place. “Stay. Still.” He said, a menace in his voice that stilled Jimin as if he were a kitten held at his neck by his mother. 

Jimin hummed another apology, breathing heavily around the toy as he steeled himself against whatever came next. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard a soft spit and then felt a hot pool of saliva trickle down his cleft. He felt a finger join it, encouraging the pool downward until it reached its port and pushed in. The breech was abrupt but the procession was slow as Hoseok inched his finger into Jimin a millimeter at a time. Jimin’s breath rattled in his chest at the sensation. 

“Hmm,” Hoseok hummed. “You did work yourself this morning, didn’t you? I can tell. You’re fucking open much easier for me…”

Jimin moaned at the acknowledgment. He was surprised though that Hoseok could tell. Jimin’s fingers were short and stubby and nowhere near as probative (or satisfying) as Hoseok’s. He’d worked at it for fifteen minutes in the shower this morning and was sure he had gotten nowhere. Maybe he was just saying it to be nice.

Jimin felt a second finger join the first and he wriggled just a little at the sensation. “Mmm, yes, that feels nice, I know, baby boy.” Jimin felt Hoseok place a wet kiss on his ass. “Oppa’s gonna take such good care of you today.” Hoseok’s weight shifted again and Jimin heard the click of a cap pop open. The lube. Jimin wondered which of the pretty bottles he’d grabbed for him. 

Jimin grunted as the chilly gel spilt on him but it warmed quickly by friction as Hoseok pushed it into him. Jimin moaned as he listened to the naughty squish of Hoseok’s fingers fucking in and out of him, his hips pushing back almost imperceptibly against them.

Jimin had allowed his eyes to close in the easy pleasure of Hoseok’s steady thrusts so he didn’t see Hoseok’s hand in front of his face until his long fingers were closing over his nose. He inhaled sharply around the toy, the suction pulling it further into his mouth. The metal tip smacked against his tonsils and he sputtered, trying to push the toy back with his tongue. But before he could, Hoseok released his nose and pulled the toy from his mouth. A string of drool came with it and he heard Hoseok chuckle darkly. “Look how messy you are…Look at you drooling for me…”

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin coughed. He just realized how sore his jaw felt from being stretched open for so long. Now that he thought about it, his neck and back were getting sore from the position too. He shifted on his knees a little trying to get more comfortable.

“Jimin…” 

Jimin didn’t have to see Hoseok’s face to know it was a warning. Jimin stopped moving. “I’m sorry, Oppa…” he whispered. 

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s arm from where it rested on his back and returned it to his ass. “Both hands Jimin, hold yourself nice and wide for Oppa. Yes. Just like that. Good boy.” 

There was the sound of more lube being dispensed and then he felt the cool metal of the toy press against him. 

Jimin gasped as the toy pushed past the barrier. It was so much bigger than the fingers. But the first bulb slipped in easily enough and Jimin exhaled as Hoseok paused before the big push. “You’re doing so well, baby boy.” 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin panted. 

“We’re almost there. Does it feel good?”

“Mmm, yes Oppa,” Jimin said. Honestly, he barely felt it at this point, the shock and pain of the initial stretch still masking any current sensations. 

“Last push, Jimin.” This would be the harder part. Not hard for him, of course. He just had to bear down. But Jimin would feel this. Hoseok laid his palm flat on the base of the toy and used his free fingers to wiggle and pull at the resistant muscle as he pushed the bulb slowly the rest of the way into Jimin. He heard Jimin grunting and hissing underneath him, as his body fought the intrusion. But mere seconds later, it was over and Jimin’s hole closed around the base of the device. 

Hoseok exhaled, “Fuck yes…” he groaned as he watch the toy bob gently with each spasm that racked his pet’s body. He raised his hand and smacked Jimin--not too hard, more of a celebratory slap than anything else. “Good boy,” he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his arched ass. “Such a good boy, Jimin.” 

Jimin blinked the spots from his eyes that had formed from how tightly he’d held them closed, barely remembering to mutter a ‘thank you,’ to his Oppa for the compliment. He swallowed. The toy was in. It was in and it was uncomfortable but it wasn’t as bad as he feared. So what now?

Hoseok’s hand returned to Jimin’s backside. But it was so light this time, his fingertips just barely caressing the skin. Jimin thought it was strange how attuned he was to his touch. Each point of pressure from his warm fingers left brands on his skin and fire followed where they traveled. No two touches blended together. They were each distinct and powerful and Jimin thought he could get lost trying to capture them all. Hoseok caressed him for a while. Maybe it was just a minute. But it stretched out forever--it could have easily been 10. It felt so soothing and lovely. He could almost forget that he had a giant plug in his ass, that his neck had been bent against the mattress at a terrible angle for too long, that Hoseok had gone back to his toy chest so many times before they started... almost. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok’s voice was low, almost hypnotic, when he finally spoke again. “As you can imagine, it can be very distracting to have one of these in all day.” His hand slid back to Jimin’s ass. “Everytime you move--” he pushed Jimin lightly so his balance wavered. Jimin felt the plug move inside him and a ripple of pleasure pulsed through him as the bulb rubbed his prostate. “When you sit down--” Hoseok put pressure on the base of the plug, forcing it just an inch or so deeper and Jimin gasped as the painful stretch returned. “Very distracting…” Hoseok moved his palm off of the plug and Jimin sighed in relief as it recoiled to its original place. Hoseok’s hand changed directions now and trailed upward, onto his lower back, higher, higher still to his shoulder blades and neck as he crawled slowly up the bed next to Jimin. “But you can’t get distracted, can you?” Hoseok’s hand tangled into Jimin’s blonde tresses and pulled, shaking his head in a negative gesture, “No, Oppa,” he said. 

“No, Oppa,” Jimin repeated, his neck enjoying the stretch until Hoseok released his hair and his head fell back against the mattress.

“That’s right, my pet. Because you’ll be on camera. You’ll be surrounded by people who can’t know what you’ve got up your tight little...sleeve.” Hoseok leaned down again so his eyes were even with Jimin. “Can you still focus on all your important tasks with that thing, Jimin?” he asked, his face wearing a mask of concern that Jimin knew was a mockery of the real thing. A taunt. 

Jimin nodded vehemently, “Yes, Oppa. I won’t be distracted. I can focus on my work,” he promised. 

Hoseok smirked and Jimin felt his brain stutter wondering what wicked thought had caused it.

Hoseok wound his fingers into Jimin’s hair again, tangling his fingers in the long, damp strands as he moved in front of him. He sat with his back to the headboard and set his legs on either side of Jimin’s head. He used his grip to lift Jimin’s head toward him and then with his other, he pulled his cock from his sweats. 

Jimin’s eyes moved to it instantly. It looked heavy in Hoseok’s hand, swollen already and glistening at the tip with pre-cum. 

“Prove it,” he said with a growl.

This was the task? This was it? Suck Hoseok off while ignoring the toy in his ass? That seemed simple enough. He had in no way forgotten that there was a foreign metal object lodged deep within him but it could easily be pushed from enough of his consciousness to manage a good blow job. But...he hadn’t been taught the rules for this position. Maybe that was the test…

His questions must have been evident on his face because Hoseok tapped the bed beside his hip to show Jimin where he wanted his hands. Then Hoseok moved his hand from Jimin’s hair to the small of his back, leaning forward to push on it until Jimin lowered himself. “Keep your knees spread, baby.” he said,

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin said, sinking into the bed, feeling the underwear around his knees cut deeper into his thighs. His cock brushed against the soft, cool sheet as he lowered himself and his eyes flickered back at the friction. He’d gotten so stiff while Hoseok was putting the toy in. He hadn’t even realized it until the slight caress of the fabric below him made him shiver with pleasure. He savored the sensation for a second before a sharp slap on his ass made him flinch, the toy jostling painfully.

“No humping,” Hoseok snarled. “Don’t be a greedy boy. If you want a bed to get you off, you can stay in your room and do it on your own next time.” 

Jimin stopped his hips from rutting, but his position low on the bed, knees spread wide, meant his member was in constant contact with the sheets, his head taking the brunt of the teasing friction. He looked up at Hoseok, praying for him to understand the problem but the wicked smile was back and Jimin knew his Oppa had intended this. More distraction to hinder the completion of his task. Jimin set his face, determined to prove to his Oppa that he could focus. 

Hoseok was pulling his hand up and down his cock, the glob of precum now spread evenly down his shaft. “Okay Jimin, suck me off.”

Jimin immediately opened his mouth and lowered his head to Hoseok’s tip. But before he could take it in, Hoseok grabbed his chin. “Focus on pleasuring me. Deliberate, skillful work. Concentrated work. Every time your focus slips, you’ll earn a punishment. Do you understand?” Jimin nodded, his eyes big. “Yes, Oppa.” 

Hoseok caught the hint of sarcasm but let him go with a little smirk. He was enjoying Jimin’s smug attitude. He could tell Jimin thought the task was too easy. He couldn’t wait to wipe that smile off his face. He allowed himself a minute to enjoy Jimin’s work. He was clearly concentrating. His strokes were firm and precise. He was actually doing a really great job. He must have researched this too. Hoseok’s head fell back, his hand petting Jimin’s head absently. His tongue slid up the length of his shaft and swirled around his head, as his lips pulled gently against his skin. Against his will, his thigh muscles were seizing from the pleasure and a soft moan escaped his lips. He heard Jimin chuckle around him and Hoseok snapped his head down toward him. Alright. He’d let Jimin have his fun. His turn. 

Hoseok reached into his pocket and pulled out his secret weapon. It was a small black device with two discrete round buttons on it. It looked like a key fob for a luxury car, shiny, sleek, with a delicate silver design on the base. He held it out in his palm beside his crotch and waited for Jimin to see it. He watched as Jimin caught sight of it out of the corner of his eye. His warm brown eyes glanced up at Hoseok and his eyebrows furrowed at the sinister look he’d arranged on his face. He could tell Jimin was confused, trying to focus on his task but unsure about what Hoseok was trying to show him. He knew he was wondering if this was a test to distract him or if he was supposed to do something with it. Jimin’s pace had slowed just slightly and his tongue was moving sloppily. This did not bode well for what was coming. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok said, his voice held less humor than Jimin had ever heard and it startled him. “Don’t you fucking bite me.” 

Jimin felt fear, real fear, for the first time in Hoseok’s presence. And then confusion as Hoseok grinned, returning to the picture of friendliness. He held up his index finger. “You seem distracted…”

Jimin quickly returned to his task, frustrated that he’d let Hoseok earn him one punishment, but taking extra care to keep his teeth as far from his shaft as he could.

Then Hoseok hit the button.

Jimin’s body jerked as a blinding flash of pleasure overtook him. His vision blurred and his mind went blank. It took him too long to figure out that the vibration in his core was real and not a product of his imagination. It was coming from the toy, rattling, tickling, pulsing against what must be every nerve in his body. He was on fire. 

And then it stopped. 

Somewhere in the mess of time that he was lost in, he had pulled himself away from Hoseok and was lying now with his head on his thigh, gasping for every bit of air he’d missed out on for however long that had gone on. His eyes found Hoseok and the look on his face made him shake all over again. He looked so alive. High. Wild, even. 

It was easy to forget sometimes that Hoseok was a self-described sadist. He was so measured and careful with him that one could almost assume that what he’d shown Jimin before was as scary as it got. But there had been moments where Jimin caught something more sinister flicker across his face. A hint at something more dangerous tucked away. Moments like this . Jimin was terrified of whatever it was. But not so much that he didn’t want to see it. He hoped that someday Hoseok would trust him enough to show him. To know that Jimin could take it and more than that, that he wanted to. But Hoseok seemed like he was pulling back the veil a little tonight. Jimin could still sense the restraint, but he was clearly willing to push Jimin further than he had before. 

Hoseok was stroking Jimin’s head as his breath evened out. When Jimin looked like he was back on this planet, Hoseok held up another finger. “That’s two.” 

So that’s what this was then. Jimin needed to try to get his Oppa off while that thing was taking him apart from the inside out. At least he understood why Hoseok had warned him not to bite. To be honest, he thought Hoseok was lucky he hadn’t done so anyway. He wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up off his cock and on his lap but he had no memory of consciously restraining himself from biting down. 

“Come on, now, Jimin,” Hoseok said, motioning to his cock, still hard and pulsing with want even more after watching Jimin writhe. “Back to work.”

Jimin shakily returned to his position, hyper-aware of the toy again, and braced himself as best he could against the mattress. “Yes, Oppa,” he said, lowering himself back onto Hoseok.

When the toy started again, the buzz was more mild. Apparently it had different settings and Hoseok just wasn’t playing fair to start. The vibration was still intense and when Hoseok shifted on the bed (which Jimin was sure he was doing intentionally) the device would brush against his prostate and render him momentarily senseless. By the time Hoseok was finishing against the back of Jimin’s throat, Jimin had earned himself two more punishments.

“Aghh,” Hoseok groaned, pumping the last of his cum onto Jimin’s lips. “Good boy, Jimin. You’re such a good boy.” He’d turned the toy off as he’d finished and was stroking Jimin’s pale, tearful face. “You did so well for Oppa,” he murmured.

“Thank you, Oppa.” Jimin loved getting Hoseok off. He was beaming. But he couldn’t enjoy it as much as he wanted too because his punishment was looming. Hoseok hadn’t punished him before. He had been looking forward to it strangely. Not just because there was sure to be pleasure involved in some twisted way and his cock was absolutely throbbing from the stimulation at this point. But also because he wanted to see his Oppa lose control a little. 

“How many did you earn, Jimin?” Hoseok asked, knowing the answer but expecting his pet to confess anyway.

“Four, Oppa.” 

Hoseok clicked his tongue, “Maybe you weren’t such a good boy after all, huh?”

“No I wasn’t, Oppa.” Jimin hung his head, playing along. “I’m sorry,” he raised his eyes to Hoseok’s, making them as big and round and innocent as he could. 

“You will be, anyway,” Hoseok said, almost off-handedly as he crawled off the bed. “Get on your elbows.”

Jimin propped himself up on his forearms and clasped his hands--he figured Hoseok would tell him if that was wrong. He didn’t so Jimin locked his fingers together. 

“Spread your legs like before so you’re low.” 

He winced again as his stiffness rubbed against the sheet and the band of his briefs cut into him. 

“Arch your back. More. Put your ass as high as you can.” 

It was a tough position to maintain. His inner thigh muscles, his core, his back muscles, his shoulders--they were all bearing awkwardly placed weight and straining to hold him still. 

Hoseok walked around the bed and examined Jimin’s position from every angle. He leaned over the bed and checked that the plug was still firmly lodged in place. It was. Of course it was. It had never failed him. He didn’t want to draw this out too long--he could see that Jimin was painfully hard, precum dripping into an already impressive pool beneath him--but he allowed himself a second to admire Jimin. His muscles were tensed and his flesh was pink and dewy from the exertion. His back sloped into a graceful arc accentuating the sexy dimples near the base of his spine just before lifting into the heavy curve of his ass. Over the last couple of weeks as Hoseok sat down to write songs he would find poetic descriptions of Jimin’s ass all over his brain storms. He couldn’t get it out of his head and it had inadvertently become a sort of muse to him. Someday he’d find a way to put one of his more discreet odes into a song. In the meantime, he’d just praise the holy thing in his head. 

“Okay, Jimin. We’re going to do this four times. Four seconds each time.”

Jimin nodded. He’d expected this. His Oppa was going to use the toy on him. But it was only 16 seconds. That didn’t seem so bad.

As if Hoseok had read his thoughts he added, “Remember that first pulse, baby?”

How could he forget, “Yes, Oppa.”

“That was just one second.” 

Jimin’s mouth popped open. How could that have been just one second?! 

“Ah, and I should point out that I’ll be the one counting the seconds…”

The excitement Jimin had been feeling was dwarfed by the dread now. He could draw this out forever. He would draw this out forever. There was no way he could handle this!

“And you can’t move.” Hoseok studied the panicked expression on Jimin’s face. Cute. “If you move before the four seconds are up, it doesn’t count and we do it again. Do you understand the rules, my pet?”

Jimin swallowed nervously and nodded, “Yes, Oppa. I understand. Thank you.” 

“Jimin?” 

Jimin turned to look at him because the voice was so Hobi all of the sudden. Jimin hadn’t registered how much rougher a tone he had was when they were doing this but the sudden switch back was jarring. “Yes, Oppa?”

“You remember your safe word?”

Between the implication that he might be pushed hard enough to use it and the swell of affection he felt at Hoseok’s concern, Jimin’s heart was thudding out of his chest. “Daydream.”

Hoseok reached out and brushed the back of his hand against Jimin’s thigh. “Use it if you need to.” 

“I promise,” he said, relaxing at Hoseok’s gentle but titillating touch. It crossed his mind for the first time that he’d like to see what Hoseok was like tender. 

But he wasn’t allowed to linger on that thought because the second the promise finish passing his lips, he felt the toy come to life. 

“Ahh!” He yelped, surprised. It was a higher setting than he had finished Hoseok off on but it wasn’t the same as the blinding tremor he’d felt the first time. The buzz was strong and quick and he could feel it against his tailbone in a way that somehow made his teeth feel weird. That doesn’t make any sense. He heard Hoseok counting in the distance but he had already decided to block it out knowing that waiting for it to end would make this so much more unbearable. Another moan escaped his lips as his mind finally made space to notice the tickling against the base of his ballsack. He blinked hard and choked back a small sob as his cock twitched where it hung. He wanted to touch it. He needed to touch it. He focused all of his attention on not grinding into the mattress but it was hard. Too hard...Suddenly his insides went still. He gasped and convulsed at the abrupt numbness that flooded his body. 

“I’m impressed, Jimin,” Hoseok drawled from somewhere at his side. “Aside from some, frankly delicious wriggling, you stayed put.” 

Jimin looked over at him, panting, wondering how long Hoseok was going to let him rest. 

Hoseok was looking at him expectantly, like he was waiting for something. He had a fond smile on his face but mischief in his eye. Jimin couldn’t make sense of what Hoseok was doing and he stopped trying, focusing instead on recovering while he was able. 

He saw Hoseok do one of his signature head tilts out of the corner of his eye and braced himself for the next round. 

The buzz was the same intensity as last time and Jimin thankfully adjusted to it a little more quickly, having made a lot of headway in understanding the pleasure and the discomfort last time. Just knowing what to expect had relieved so much of the physical and mental stress. His muscles were still tensed but just enough to keep him from making any involuntary movements. His body still twitched as the aggressive tickle edged him closer and closer to his orgasm but he closed his eyes and tried to breathe through it. 

“AHH!” Jimin screamed as Hoseok’s hand left a searing sting on his ass. His body buckled to keep itself in place though he knew his back had arched up like a cat a little in an instinctive attempt to hide his burning backside from another blow. Either the slap or the recoil moved the toy in him and a flash of white rendered him blind. 

When his vision returned, Hoseok’s face was hovering before his. “That was for not saying ‘thank you,’ for your punishment.”

Jimin groaned, moaned, released some sort of inhuman noise before forcing words, “Sorry, Oppa. I’m sorry. Thank you for punishing me! Thank you!” 

“Two…” Hoseok stepped back and continued his count. 

The impromptu spanking had nearly sent Jimin over the edge. He’d never come untouched before but he already knew this would be his first. Just a few seconds longer. He felt it rising up in him, creeping from the base of his cock to his head. He imagined the toy’s pulsing was Hoseok’s pounding and his breath became ragged as he felt his orgasm begin to crest. 

“Agghhhhh!” He shook in frustration as the toy abruptly stopped again. “NO!” He growled, burying his face in his arms. He heard Hoseok chuckle and his eyes flew to him pleading. “Thank you, Oppa! Thank you! Please more!” 

Hoseok looked at the toy as if he was contemplating something. He rolled it around languidly in his hand as Jimin whimpered before him. “Please, Oppa…” 

Hoseok had pressed the button before Jimin had even finished begging. 

The moan that came out of Jimin’s mouth was the most erotic sound Hoseok had ever heard. He loved this. He loved watching Jimin struggle like this. He loved watching as his body tensed, wracked with pleasure so magnificent it was painful. He liked seeing how he lost control of his words, his vision, his thoughts, his self. It was beautiful to see the blank eyes behind heavy lids. There was something intensely real about the way his teeth gnashed against each other and the sounds that came all the way from his belly before they spilled from his lips. Even his toes and feet curling until the soles were wrinkled was beautiful. You couldn’t be anyone but exactly, honestly yourself in this state. There was a bliss that came with that. Bliss that he read clearly on Jimin’s face now.

Jimin came within seconds, spilling strings of hot, thick cum on the bed below him. The veins on his neck and in his forearms were pulsing and his nails were ripping into the skin on his hands. Hoseok counted slow but Jimin was still edging off of his orgasm when the toy turned off. 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin moaned. He felt light, euphoric. That might have been the most satisfying orgasm of his life thus far. 

But he didn’t get to enjoy it because the toy was back on in a flash and his body lurched forward out of position. “FUCK!” he gasped. He was so sensitive and the vibration was so intense--much more intense now that he had cum. Jimin curled in on himself until the toy went still. He was sure it had only stopped a millisecond after he fell but it had felt so much longer.

“Hmm…” Hoseok clicked his tongue. “So you get what you want and suddenly you act up…? That won’t do, Jimin. Back in position.”

Jimin sucked in a shaky breath and repositioned himself. He knew what to expect now. He could do this.

The device came to life again and he couldn’t stifle the scream that ripped from his throat. His knees were shaking, his arms were shaking, he was pretty sure his eyes were shaking in his head. His vision was blurring and it wasn’t until he saw a tear hit the mattress below him that he realized he was crying. Somewhere he heard Hoseok say “two” and Jimin collapsed. 

“Oppa, I can’t!” he gasped.

“It’s a punishment, Jimin,” Hoseok said, his voice infuriatingly patronizing. “It’s not supposed to be easy. Get back in position.”

It was chilling how calm he could sound when Jimin was in such immense and obvious discomfort. And he didn’t have to see his face to know there was a sinister glee on it. Jimin dragged himself back into position. Four seconds. He just had to make it four seconds.   

The toy started up again. Jimin dropped onto his stomach, scrambling away from the sensation futilely, letting out a tearful sob as his body was overwhelmed once more. He wasn’t sure how long he lasted this time but when he fell again, the toy was still going so he knew he had failed. “Oppa!” he screeched through clenched teeth. 

Hoseok turned the toy off and Jimin’s body went limp.

“I’m sorry, Oppa,” he panted, heaving and shaking his head, “I’m trying.” 

Jimin looked at him, his eyes wet and uncertain and Hoseok’s heart faltered because for a second, he was Jiminie again. Hoseok dropped to his knees beside the bed and grabbed his face affectionately. “I know, Jimin. You’re doing great, I promise.” He ran his fingers into his hair, stroking him gently. “I’m so impressed. I know Oppa is being a little hard on you--but I’m giddy at how amazing and natural you are at this.” He gushed. “You’re doing so well, baby. You’re perfect.” 

Jimin’s eyes blinked back tears as he blushed at his Oppa’s praise. He was unexpectedly touched and, in his vulnerable state, he thought he had maybe never felt closer to Hoseok. 

“Do you want to stop for now, Jimin?” Hoseok asked. 

Jimin’s eyes shot up suddenly, surprised that Hoseok had taken it there. The mercy was more of a shock than the tenderness. That wasn’t part of this. It made him feel ashamed almost that Hoseok thought he would give up so easy. He felt a little indignant. There was no way Hoseok was this lenient with his previous pets. “No!” he insisted. “No. I want to keep going. I want my punishment.” 

Hoseok looked proud. He smiled at him fondly for a moment and then his eyes darkened again. “That’s right. My good boy, my perfect pet know what he deserves.”

Fire flared in Jimin’s eyes, mirroring the blaze that had returned to Hoseok. “Thank you, Oppa,” he said reverently. “Thank you for punishing me.”

Hoseok stood back up and stepped away from Jimin again. “Get back in position. This is your last chance, Jimin. If you can’t stay still like a good boy, maybe you just aren’t worth the effort…”

Jimin shivered and grit his teeth, determined to prove that no one was as worth the effort as him. His Oppa, Jung-fucking-Hoseok deserved the best. So he would be the best.

Four long seconds later--because Hoseok had apparently taken mercy off the table--Jimin was a sweating, swearing, shaking mess crumpled up on the filthy sheet. Hoseok moved to him on the bed and stroked his hair soothingly for a minute while Jimin fought to bring his sobs back under control. When his breathing had evened, Hoseok leaned close to him, “Jimin, sweetheart,” Jimin shivered at the endearment, “I need you to get back up for a second so I can take the toy out.” 

Jimin groaned but rolled onto his knees for the last time. His nerves were so numb that he didn’t even feel the toy anymore. When Hoseok pulled it from him, he only knew it was out when he registered the emptiness. 

Hoseok wrapped the toy in a tissue and set it next to the bed. He normally would go wash it straight away but he didn’t want to leave Jimin alone just yet. He laid back down beside him and pulled him into his arms, wrapping the blanket over them both. 

“Talk to me, Jimin,” Hoseok said softly, “how are you feeling?”

“Sleepy,” he said.

Hoseok nodded. That was normal. He’d had such an extended dose of adrenaline and endorphins...his body was physically spent. And he was sure the emotional toll was exhausting too. Jimin would be practically unconscious tonight. 

“Was all of that okay?”

Jimin was still numb. Too tired to talk about this. He was fine now. Overwhelmed out of his mind during--but in retrospect he felt like he loved that. He knew he loved that. He also knew that Hoseok needed reassurance that he hadn’t pushed him too far so he pulled himself together enough to muster an affirmative hum. “Mmm-hmm..was nice…” He even managed a sleepy smile. “Oh!” he said, suddenly alert. “I didn’t ask permission...before I came. Your most important rule!”

Hoseok laughed out loud. “You’re too honest for your own good.” He smiled at the look of disappointment on Jimin’s face. “I did give you permission. You just must not have been paying attention…”

“Oh,” Technically, he hadn’t broken a rule then. But he had cheated. His frown was halted though, by a deep, heavy yawn. 

Hoseok chuckled and squeezed him. “You can’t fall asleep here, Jimin. Come on,” he got to his feet and helped pull him up. “I’ll help you get dressed.” 

As soon as he was on his feet, the underwear that had been around his knees fell to his feet. He stepped out of them and picked them up, groaning. “Well these are ruined,” he said, tugging at the stretched waistband. 

Hoseok looked apologetic, “That’s a shame. I liked those.” 

Jimin took quick stock of his body. His legs were shaky, his shoulders were already feeling sore, and there were deep welts in his legs from where the underwear had rubbed him raw. It wasn’t too bad because he still couldn’t feel 80% of his body but he wasn’t looking forward to the state he was going to wake up in. 

True to his word, Hoseok helped him dress. Jimin loved how affectionate and tender he got after they had sex. Another thing he’d discovered in his research was that doms tended to take extra emotional care of their partners after a session. He had been a little disappointed to find out that the post-orgasm cuddling had just been an extension of the rough play. He’d thought it was Hobi being Hobi. But it was still nice. 

“I’m glad we got a chance to do that, Hob--Hoseok,” Jimin said as he finished slipping his boots back on. “We probably won’t have a chance in Japan. But I’ll make sure I’m prepared, just in case!” He patted his pocket where he’d placed the toy and the small bottle of lube Hoseok had given him. Hoseok had shown him how to use the toy but he’d given him a quick verbal explanation, too, that was probably more helpful. Jimin was grateful.

Hoseok cleared his throat and avoided Jimin’s eyes. “Yeah, me too Jimin.” This was always about the time the guilt started setting in. Just about when Jimin was dressed again and looking too familiar and he was having flashbacks of the things he did with him, this kid, his friend, standing in front of him, blindly trusting him. “Just be careful with that. Go easy. We have a tough schedule.”

Jimin nodded and hid a sigh. Hobi-hyung was back and “Jiminie” was making him uncomfortable.

“So I’m gonna head out.” Jimin offered. Hoseok was stripping the bed and Jimin wondered how he was going to explain that to Jungkook. 

“Are you okay to get back to your room or should I walk you?”

Jimin shook his head, insisting he was fine. It was too awkward to stay now and the long walk back to his room would be tense and leave an unpleasant aftertaste on their otherwise very pleasant evening.  He gave Hoseok a small wave that Hoseok returned with a small smile that morphed into a painful grimace as the door closed behind him.

Chapter Text

 

Japan was a whirlwind. Short trips like this always were. This one more than most even because they normally didn’t try to squeeze two concerts, a live TV performance, and half a dozen interviews into one short visit. Downtime wasn’t in the itinerary. They were ushered by beleaguered but diligent staff from venue to venue to venue, climbing in and out of nondescript black vans that smelled of all the fast food they scarfed down on the road. Sometimes they slept in the car but most of the time they were reviewing notes or practicing Japanese phrases or monitoring the choreo they’d marked out in the hotel lobby. Sleep came mostly in the form of short, shallow naps in stiff makeup chairs in generic, utilitarian waiting rooms. 

This meant, of course, that Hoseok and Jimin hadn’t been alone together in days. Jimin was irritated about it at first. The pressure and intensity of their itinerary had him wound so tight, all he wanted was a good hard fuck to take the edge off. But it turned out there were some unexpected benefits of the break. The pace they had to keep up left them no time to think about their hands on each other’s bodies or daydream about the details of their last intimate encounter or to feel guilty about doing either. They were almost forced into an autopilot mode that returned them to a time before things had gotten so complicated. Despite his fatigue, Jimin was relieved and elated that they seemed to have their old chemistry back. Their interactions (though limited) were made up of casual conversations, easy laughter, and even a couple of friendly but platonic back hugs and Jimin soaked in every second of it. He could tell that Hoseok was straining to be cool at times, fighting a hard edge to his voice, holding his muscles a little more tensely, but he did seem to have turned over a new leaf after their talk back home. It gave Jimin a glimmer of hope that this whole thing would be easier from now on. 

Before they knew it, it was already time to fly back. They were sore, a little cranky, and running on empty but even resting on the plane wasn’t an option. It was a short flight--mere hours, and they had the award show to prepare for. There would be no time to return to the dorms before they had to be on the red carpet, so the private jet would have to act as a green room, a rehearsal studio, and a dressing room. The space was limited so they had their hair, makeup, and wardrobe done in rotation. Hoseok was among the first to finish so that he could do some more stage monitoring and prepare his remarks for his part of their acceptance speech.  

He was seated comfortably in a plush seat going over his notes when he heard Jimin’s voice thanking the stylist for finishing her work well. Hoseok did a double take when Jimin stepped out of the curtained area, looking long and sleek in his perfectly fitted black dress suit. Hoseok saw the moment he adjusted his dark lapels in the mirror and turned toward him in slow motion. He somehow managed to look so graceful even as he moved through the narrow aisle. His blonde hair was pushed neatly back so that his bangs only just covered the top of his forehead. His makeup was perfect. A little dark smoke around the eyes, a sheer lip gloss that enhanced the natural plump pinkness of them, a light shimmer of highlight that sharpened his jaw and brow...Hoseok thought this might be the prettiest he’d ever seen him. He was almost like a doll. Literally perfect. 

Jimin caught his eyes as they traveled over his face and smiled at him. Hoseok knew he’d been caught looking but he didn’t let himself feel too embarrassed about it. Jimin deserved to be looked at. 

He told himself he would think that even if they weren’t sleeping together.

Jimin slid his hands into his pocket and continued down the aisle but when he got to Hoseok’s side, he paused. Hoseok bristled at the electricity suddenly thrumming under his skin. Now that they were on their way home, the opportunity to be alone together becoming more concrete, it  was difficult to keep Jiminie “Jiminie” in his mind. Not that it was ever easy but he had so little will to try now, too. Both of them felt it--the desire growing, the wait becoming more frustrating, the urge to touch burgeoning. Jimin tilted his head downward and trailed his fingers gently across Hoseok’s forearm. “You look hot too,” he murmured, his tone heavy with seduction. 

Hoseok couldn’t help the cocky grin that spread across his face as his body spasmed with pleasure. It felt like he’d taken a hit of something that should probably be illegal. But before he could even resume breathing or let go of the armchair he’d clamped down on, Jimin was already gone. Hoseok exhaled and looked down at himself. Jimin was right. He did look pretty damn good. His suit was black with satin lapels and he was wearing a black button up with a high collar underneath. A silver chain dangled in an arc from a loop on his tightly fitted pants, and he wore a watch from his personal collection that cost more than it would to take this private jet to Majorca and back. His dark hair was styled shiny and a little curled so that it almost looked wet to the touch and his eyes had been defined with just a touch of eyeliner. He could give Seokjin a run for his money tonight. Or at least that’s what he let himself believe until Jin made his way out of the dressing area looking approximately 100x better than any other human person ever had or would. I’ll just have to settle for second tonight--third, after Jimin --he amended with a smile. 

***

Their arrival at the award show was an event in-and-of itself. Cameras peeled away from their current subjects to point their lenses at the seven pop icons knowing a blurry, distant shot would fetch them a better price than ten up close shots of whomever was unfortunate enough to have arrived ahead of them.

The boys didn’t love the fuss but they had become accustomed to dealing with it gracefully. And they were proud of it. It made them grateful for their struggles, understanding how much sweeter the adoration was having had to rip it from their throats after earning a name that everyone said in all-caps. 

Once they found their seats they watched the other acts, looking appropriately entertained, and applauded politely as awards were handed out. But as usual, they stayed as much to themselves as their fame would allow, playing with each other to pass the time. It was one of the benefits of being the only group from their company. They resented it at first, that no one would talk to them or pay them any mind, that they were always hidden at the back of the seating section away from the idols that represented larger labels. But it was a relief to them now to not be tied to anyone else--or rather to not have anyone else tied to them. Aside from the cameras who hovered around them all evening, not many others tried to approach them. And that suited them just fine. 

When it came time for their performance, they ran it a couple of times offstage and then executed it with all the professionalism and energy they had left in them after their trip. The applause from the crowd was thunderous and the chants of the ARMY boomed through the arena walls. When it was over, they donned their suits again and made their way back out to the seating area, accepting the gushing accolades of their peers before allowing themselves to relax finally after their five-day push. Just two more hours to go before they got to go home.

During one of the many production breaks, the group had spread out, having been encouraged by their manager to mingle and look social. Honestly, it was a lot to ask given how exhausted they all were and how tedious it was for some of them to handle small-talk. Especially in front of cameras that were always eager to catch any embarrassing or controversial slip. Jimin had given up after a brief interaction with another idol who wouldn’t stop talking about how it seemed like they were never even in Korea anymore. He had returned to their table and was playing a water-bottle stacking game with Tae when he overheard Namjoon, who had just come back too, talking to Jin and Yoongi. 

“Did you see Hobi flirting with Ji-Sun?” 

Jimin’s ears perked up and his hands slowed their stacking work. 

“Is he?” Jin asked, his voice curious and amused. “Well that’s Hobi for you, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon said, almost ruefully. Hoseok never had a problem picking someone up, flirtation coming as naturally to him as dance. “She looks like she’s really into him.” He turned and pointed to a table across the room. 

Jimin’s gaze followed his finger from the table and he narrowed his eyes as he found Hobi standing across from a girl with shiny blue hair. He was smiling and laughing and his pose was confident. Jimin knew Hoseok always had a smile and a confident pose but this girl might think it was for her. She seemed to. She was playing with her blue hair and had her head tilted jauntily to the side. She was smiling too, and even bit her lip a couple of times. She laughed a lot--more than was probably called for. Jimin hoped Hoseok could see it was fake. 

“Who is she?” Yoongi asked. Remembering people’s names wasn’t exactly his forte. Especially other idols. They all kind of blended together for him. He just didn’t care honestly. No one bothered to learn their names or faces at first either. 

“She’s from a rookie group--to be honest, I don’t think they’ll be around long…”

Jin looked around to make sure they weren’t in anyone’s earshot--a camera would love to catch something like that--and issued a gentle but pointed reminder, “Ah, Namjoon, people said the same thing about us remember?” 

Namjoon nodded. “Sure,” he conceded diplomatically, waving his hand. He didn’t mean anything by it. There was just a lot of competition this year. “She’s pretty, yeah?” 

Yoongi shrugged. Not his type. Jin smiled and nodded because, sure she was but what was ‘pretty’ next to Worldwide Handsome?

“Hoseok seems to think so, anyway.” The three boys shared a smirk as they watched the pair.

Jimin shot them a silent glare before returning to watch Hoseok. He rose to his feet when he saw the girl put her hand on his arm and laugh again, throwing in a little lick of her lips to top it off. Jimin looked again at Hoseok and he did seem to be a little charmed. His eyes were smoldering in their twinkly way and if Jimin could see that from here, that girl was getting the full impact. He felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. That look isn’t for her

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be jealous--it was silly for him to be jealous. Hoseok wasn’t his. He and Hoseok weren’t anything. They would never be anything. And Hoseok was single and attractive and free to pursue other interests-- interests. Not other. There was no interest with them. But Jimin still didn’t want to see it. He knew they were both on edge and a little worked up from their delay in gratification but wasn’t the promise of having Jimin tomorrow enough? And if he wanted to flirt with someone, he was right here. And he was great at flirting. Definitely better than stupid Blue-Hair. 

It wasn’t even jealousy, Jimin decided. Who cared if Hoseok was flirting with some nameless sub-vocal from some generic, dime-a-dozen girl group? Not him, certainly. Flirt away, by all means. But why would he when Jimin was right here, looking much better, and being much more in tune to what Hoseok needs? He wasn’t jealous. He was just irritated that Hoseok was looking elsewhere and settling. That’s it. That’s what the pressure in his chest was. That’s what was putting the lump in his throat and the burn in his nose. Hoseok’s poor taste...

Blue-Hair let out a peal of laughter that carried all the way to where Jimin stood, almost taunting him and impulsively and involuntarily, Jimin started to move toward them. He couldn’t help it. His feet were carrying him in that direction of their own accord. He didn’t want to be that guy. He didn’t want Hoseok to think he was needy or clingy, not when they had been doing so well at balancing things the last few days. He didn’t want him to misunderstand. And he definitely didn’t want to do anything that might seem suspect by picking a fight with Blue-Hair in front of cameras. He just wanted Hobi to be more interested in him than he was in her. 

Jimin stopped dead in his tracks. He had an idea. A bad idea probably. Definitely. But Blue-Hair had taken another step closer into Hoseok’s space and, in doing so, felled his caution. He dashed back to their table and grabbed his bag from under his seat. He beelined away from Hobi toward the bathroom, his security detail following behind him. Jimin moved quickly into a stall and closed it behind him. He took a peek out of the crack in the door and saw his bodyguard leaning against the wall on the other side of the bathroom. 

Jimin didn’t know exactly how discreet he could be and still pull this off, but now that the idea was in his head, he couldn’t shake it. He reached in his bag and pulled out a little silver device--well not so little actually. Hoseok had used this on him a couple of nights ago and Jimin had enjoyed it so much, he’d taken it out of Hoseok’s toy chest to play with himself. He’d gotten to use it himself twice again in Japan--it was so much more satisfying than his own small plug and it had the added benefit of triggering flashbacks of Hoseok using it on him. He hadn’t imagined using it like this but even the idea of Hoseok getting him off with this toy in a very public and dangerous place was making him hard. He put the silver plug in his mouth and sucked on it, coating it with his saliva as he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down. Luckily, he had his own plug already in place. He’d put it in place every morning hoping that, when he and Hoseok got to be together next, he would be proud of how much he’d practiced. He pulled out the plug with a sigh of relief and felt himself grasping at the empty space. He wrapped it in some toilet paper before slipping it into the front of his briefs. He made a fuss with the toilet seat so his guard didn’t suspect anything and then he pulled the bigger toy from his mouth and stuck it down his briefs, positioning the tip near his entrance. 

This was going to be the tough part. Even having been stretched out a little from his plug, he knew this one, bigger and frighteningly underdressed, would take some strength and discipline to insert. He’d never done this without copious amounts of lube. It was going to hurt and he’d never willingly caused himself pain. That was a much more difficult task than simply accepting it from another. But he reminded himself of the pleasure waiting once it was in and pulled his cheek open as much as he could, hoping that he was still at least a little slick from this morning’s generous lubrication. Jimin inhaled as quietly as possible and held his breath as he began to put pressure on the bullet’s hilt. He exhaled through gritted teeth and tried to fight his urge to clench himself shut as the toy broke through the surface and penetrated him. He took another breath and pushed again on the exhale. It slid in further. Now that it was in, his hole was swallowing it up hungrily. Just the last bulbous part remained. Jimin paused, sweat forming on his brow as he prepared for his last big push. He couldn’t help but grunt as the last of it entered him and he hastily coughed to cover the sound. He involuntarily clenched around the toy again and again, sending a ripple of pleasure through his body and making his eyes lose focus for a second. 

Jimin stood up straight again and took a few breaths, steadying himself and adjusting to the full feeling. He pulled his pants back up and buckled his belt again. He pulled the remote from his bag and placed it in his pocket and then flushed the toilet, waiting another second before he opened the stall door again. He washed his hands quickly and then made his way back out to the main event room, his eyes easily finding Hoseok again. He was glad to see he was still talking to Blue-Hair. He liked the idea of not just getting Hoseok’s attention, but of pulling his attention away from her. 

Jimin walked confidently through the room, smiling to the Idols and staff he passed, relishing their deep bows in a way that was probably a little petty, and up to Hoseok. He smiled warmly at him and Blue-Hair, and made a quick bow which she returned. She looked prettier up close than she had from far away. She had big, wide eyes that looked sweet and innocent--something Jimin knew from experience made Hoseok particularly weak--and a small high nose and full lips that managed to be cute while also being kind of sexy. Good. He thought. It’ll feel even better when he chooses me. He turned to Hoseok who looked a little confused and surprised to see him. “Sorry to interrupt, hyung,” Jimin said to Hoseok, “But I think you dropped this.” He reached out his arm and pushed the remote into Hoseok’s hand. 

Hoseok opened his fist and stared at the device in his palm. It took him a second to recognize it since it was so out of place here but the moment he did, he felt his stomach lurch and he could suddenly hear his heart pounding in his ears. Heat creeped up his neck onto his face and his mouth went dry. He looked up at Jimin,  jaw slack, and saw the glint in his eye that confirmed his mischief. Hoseok closed his fist and watched as Jimin walked away with a smug smile on his face. Hoseok couldn’t help his eyes traveling down to Jimin’s ass--which looked mouth-watering in his suit pants--where the other part of the device in his hand was buried. 

Here? Now? Hoseok thought. He wants to do this right here? Hoseok chewed on his lip, trying to calm himself. This was something he didn’t expect from Jimin. An exhibitionist streak. He was definitely into it--he was just shocked that Jimin was. There was a brief moment—much shorter than it should have been given what he was contemplating doing—where Hoseok was almost mad Jimin would do something this stupid (because this was so stupid) and a briefer moment of repulsion at potentially doing this to Jiminie . It was really brief though because if he was being truthful it had been hard to think of him as anything other than his pet all day. Not when it had been so long, and they were so close, and he looked so so sexy. Not when he was being so overtly filthy. It also probably had something to do with the power he felt in himself at events like these where all eyes were on him and his name would be called to accept the biggest prize of the night. Hoseok closed his fist on the device, still watching as Jimin made his way back to their table. So filthy. He had taken his toy without permission. Used it on himself, without permission. Taunted his Oppa...Hoseok’s lip curled smugly. If Jimin thought Hoseok would take it easy on him because they were in public, he hadn’t figured out just who he was dealing with yet.

“Is everything okay?” Blue-Hair asked.

Hoseok looked at her and his dark smirk transformed instantly into a bright, friendly smile. Honestly, he had completely forgotten she was there. And he had to suppress a laugh when he realized he couldn’t recall her name though he’d used it just a few minutes ago. This must have been Jimin’s intention. He was the pet, and here he was, trying to keep his Oppa on a leash. If Hoseok wasn’t so turned on by it, he might have been indignant. “Everything’s fine.” Hoseok assured her, flashing her a charming smile. “I just dropped my key fob.” He wrapped his hand around the device and slid them both into his pocket. He had no interest in talking to this girl anymore. She was nice. Pretty. Three weeks ago, he would have jumped at the opportunity she was trying really hard to get him to take. But he had other things on his mind now. His fist tightened around the device. 

Jimin sat down gingerly back at the table. Now that his initial mission was complete, he was flabbergasted at what he had done. He had just impaled himself on an uncomfortable metal torture device, delivered the means of his destruction to his (likely pissed-off) hyung, and sat himself next to his best friend, in the middle of a huge, televised award show, surrounded by people who would love to take his team down a notch. This was so reckless. And humiliating. 

He knew from his experimentation with the device in Japan that it was fairly inaudible. But he wasn’t. He was loud. He was so loud. He was terrible about keeping his little moans and whimpers down. And there was no way he was going to be able to sit still. What if Hobi puts it on the high setting? What if I scream and cum in my pants and pass out and the doctors find that device in me?? No no no . It’ll be fine. Hoseok might not even turn it on. He probably won’t. Now that Jimin had processed what he had done, he realized the futility of it. J-Hope of Bangtan doesn’t play with Jimin of Bangtan. Not his bandmate. He’d put this god forsaken plug in his ass for nothing. And he’d probably be paying for it by sitting through another lecture from Hoseok about how they needed to keep things “separate.”

Jimin looked back to Hoseok, bitterly. He was still with Blue-Hair which made him roll his eyes. He wanted to look away but he couldn’t manage to keep his eyes averted for more than a second. So he was still watching when Blue-Hair made her move. She leaned her head forward in shy laughter and her hair fell over her eyes. “Ugh,” Jimin scoffed. Oldest trick in the book. She needed better game. But then Jimin’s mouth popped open in surprise and the lump was back in his throat, as Hoseok lifted his hand to gently push her hair out of her face. He fell for it. He fell for that weak, boring, simple move. How could-- “Oh!”

He gasped, surprised as the toy came to life inside him. He quickly covered with a small cough and glanced over at Tae who was still concentrating on his bottle stacking. He took quick stock of the sensation. The setting was lower than he’d ever felt it. Lower than he even knew it could go. It was definitely still stimulating. The tickle was working its magic already. But it wasn’t bad. It was manageable. It was pleasant even. 

He looked back at Hoseok who hadn’t seemed to have taken his eyes off of Blue-Hair for a second. In fact, he looked like he had moved closer to her and his hand had even smoothly moved to touch her hip. She was loving it. Jimin less so. But Hoseok seemed so engrossed in his flirtation that Jimin wondered if he had somehow turned on the toy himself. But then he noticed Hoseok’s hand balled in a fist in his pocket. 

He was shocked. Then smug. Ha . He’s looking at you. He’s talking to you. But he’s with me. 

The device clicked off and on as Hoseok continued his game. Hoseok would let it go for a few seconds at a time, sometimes in intervals so consistent that Jimin wondered if the toy had a pulse setting he hadn’t discovered yet.

Jimin let his eyes fall on a spot in the distance as he focused on the sensations. The vibration against the base of his cock sending tingles of pleasure up his shaft, the gentle tickle against his prostate causing him to emit little gasps every time he moved just right, the steady, rhythmic pulse that sent shivers all the way up his spine and onto his scalp. The physical pleasure was only enhanced by the situational thrill of the danger and humiliation, and the power he felt coursing through him at having stolen Hoseok away from Blue-Hair. 

He finally brought his eyes back into focus to see Hoseok sit down at the table opposite him. Everyone else had taken their seats too but they were all chatting amongst themselves. No one was paying him any attention except for the man with dark hair and even darker eyes sitting across from him who quite literally had him in the palm of his hand. 

Jimin felt the toy pulse at a faster frequency as it picked up strength. Hoseok still held his gaze, his eyes burning through him. Jimin was unsettled by the ferocity and confidence of his gaze. Not because Hoseok wasn’t ferocious and confident--he was. But because J-Hope was doing this to him while they were surrounded by their team. There was no hiding themselves from each other here. And still he was getting him off.

“Hob-ah,” Namjoon interrupted them, “You managed to tear yourself away from Ji-Sun, huh?”

Hoseok looked at Joon, his dark eyes obscured a little now by a friendly gleam and a casual smile, “Well, we had to come back to our seats.”

“Ah, it’s a shame. She’s pretty. I could tell she liked you.”

Hoseok nodded, “She seemed to...I thought she was very interesting, too.” 

Jimin smiled and then coughed a little as the toy ratcheted up again. Was that Hoseok’s way of telling him that he was more interesting?

“Did you get her number?” Tae chimed in from next to Jimin.

Hoseok held up a little piece of paper with small blue numbers scribbled across it. “As a matter of fact, I did.” 

Jimin furrowed his brow and frowned at that. Did Hoseok actually like her? He’d successfully won his attention from her now, at the moment, when Hoseok didn’t have enough time with her anyway and Jimin had offered him a unique opportunity. But he was still going to call her sometime so what really had Jimin achieved? What had he even hoped to achieve? Why was he so disappointed? He had what he wanted, right? Hoseok’s attention. What more did he want?

The thought faded as a particularly sharp pulse made him yelp and grab the table. Jin and Tae who were next to him noticed, and he didn’t look up but he was sure Hoseok had too. The pulse returned with the same intensity but it held this time. And Jimin recognized his first real challenge of the night.

“Are you okay, Jimin-ah? Tae asked while Jin looked around to make sure a camera hadn’t seen him. 

Jimin gripped the table, steeling himself to steady his words and nodded, “M’fine. I just got a little cramp in my calf...It’s loosening up again.” He exhaled through his teeth. “It’ll pass.”

Hoseok watched as Jimin explained himself to Tae and Jin. He couldn’t hear him so he didn’t know how he was explaining his stunted breathing and his white-knuckled hold on the table, but they didn’t seem too worried anymore. Jimin, on the other hand, was going through it.  

Hoseok wasn’t really going to torture Jimin today. This wasn’t a punishment. This was just a playful test of endurance. He was going to edge Jimin for the rest of the night. He wasn’t going to cum. He wasn’t going to scream--though he would definitely whimper and moan a little. Hoseok was going to get him really really close. And then when they finally got home, he was going to fuck whatever was left of his senses away. 

As Hoseok watched Tae try to comfort Jimin, unaware that what ailed him was Hoseok and their little toy, Hoseok wondered why this was so easy for him right now. On paper, what he and Jimin were doing was over the line--this was so over the line. They were inextricably Bangtan here. At the table, at an award show, about to receive a Daesang, surrounded by their brothers. He could definitely feel the usual nausea and guilt bubbling deep in his gut but for some reason, this time, it wasn’t enough to make him stop. It wasn’t even enough to make him hesitate. The perversion of the moment was a timid breeze beating impotently against a brick wall of intoxicating desire. He knew without a doubt that when he woke up tomorrow he would hate himself even more for all the mistakes he was letting them make right now but at the moment, when he was drunk on power and fame and feeling like he owned the whole world, this--with Jimin--seemed like a reward he deserved.

All night he watched Jimin carefully as he worked the toy in a way that tossed Jimin around a tidal pool of pleasure. Four times he got him close before he edged him off. The last time had been too close probably. He watched as Jimin’s teeth cut deep into his lip, trying to choke down the scream that had risen up in his chest like a plume of flame as his knuckles clamped down so hard on the edge of the table that his white knuckles disappeared into the crisp tablecloth. Hoseok had had to distract the others by spilling his drink to give Jimin time to get control again. Hoseok had enough discipline to leave Jimin alone while they were accepting their award and soon after, they were climbing into the van to go home, another trophy in their bag. 

Jimin fidgeted the whole car ride home. If the others weren’t so tired, if they had enough juice left to be cognizant of their surroundings, they might have thought Jimin was suffering from some sudden fever. A fine sheen of sweat dampened his forehead and his breathing was a little ragged and uneven. He was in the back, pressed up against the window, legs crossed and body held tense as Hoseok continued his teasing. Jimin felt barely lucid. His body was so over-stimulated yet frustratingly under-stimulated and his mind couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the thought of finally finally getting his release.

A half hour later, the van finally pulled into the BigHit complex parking area. Hoseok filed out after Yoongi and Tae and then turned around to help Jimin down. He gave him a second to stabilize his wobbly legs and then dropped his hand and followed the others. Jimin ran a couple of steps to catch up with him. He kept his eyes forward but leaned a little closer, his voice barely more than a breath.

“Where can we go?” 

Hoseok didn’t respond, but his face was intense and focused. 

Under the guise of holding the door for the others, Jimin and Hoseok managed to fall to the back of the group. Their team trudged slowly through the building, like a small horde of zombies. They were bumping into each other, tripping over feet that dragged and stumbled over the carpet, pulling their jackets across the floor as they walked. They were utterly spent. That was good. Jimin and Hoseok wouldn’t need much time, and even if the others did notice they were missing, they were too tired to care.

Jimin wasn’t too tired though. Not anymore. And despite the pace of his gait, he was certainly not in zombie mode. He was intensely focused on Hoseok. Almost too focused because he stumbled over his feet too as he walked at an awkward angle to keep his body turned toward him. He could tell that Hoseok was alive too. His eyes were laser-focused and burning, growing more intense with each step they took. 

It was good that the others were so mindless and dead to the world because Jimin was whimpering the whole way. With every step he grew more fearful that Hoseok was just going to let him go back to his room untouched. But as they neared the wing with the dorms, and the team turned that final corner, Hoseok reached out and grabbed Jimin’s hand, holding him back. He pressed his finger to his lips until the boys’ footsteps faded enough and then he turned around and ran, pulling Jimin quickly in the other direction. Jimin’s eyes were bright and relieved as he allowed Hoseok to pull him along hallway after hallway. 

“Where--?” he began to ask.

“Hope World.” 

Hope World. It was small. Packed full of equipment and Kaws toys and a mountain of expensive shoes and cheap beanies. But there was a couch in there. A long sleek table. Even a sound-booth. And it locked . Jimin would settle for the corner of a hallway under a flickering lightbulb at this point. Hope World was heaven. 

Hoseok punched in the code on the door as fast as he could, feeling Jimin’s hands already on his ass. He pushed the door open and he and Jimin nearly fell in. He shut the door quickly and locked it and flipped on a single small lamp. It took one short beat of silence for them to realize they were able to touch each other now and they crashed against one another. 

It wasn’t graceful but Hoseok managed to find Jimin’s lips and pull them into his own. It was urgent and chaotic. A mess of tongues pressed to teeth and teeth scraping lips and lips sucking tongues, more and more, deeper and deeper until their breaths were sharp gasps into open mouths between the wet slide of their lips. Their hands found purchase wherever they could, fingers rough and penetrating as they dragged across each other’s skin, through each other’s hair, under each other’s shirts. 

Quickly their suits became too stifling, too bulky, too infuriatingly in the way

Hoseok pulled away first, the uncomfortable strength of his erection against his pants forcing him to push forward. He pulled off his suit jacket and tossed it onto the hardwood floor, treating the luxury garment with less regard than he probably should, but as much as he could currently manage. He pulled his tie loose and tore it over his head. “Clothes off, Jimin.” Hoseok ordered as he started unbuttoning his shirt. 

Jimin was behind in the race to be nude because he couldn’t take his eyes off Hoseok who looked possessed with lust and power, fire flaring behind his eyes, veins pulsing along his neck and in his forearms. Jimin continued to watch as he removed his own clothes, kicking his shoes off and unbuttoning his shirt. Hoseok had stopped, his unbelted black pants open and hanging low around his hips, a faint trail of dark hair disappearing into the wide v of his fly. The pants were sinfully tight on his muscular thighs and even tighter where it pulled across his bulge. When he raised his arms to push his long fingers into his inky black hair, locking them behind his head, Jimin thought he must have saved a nation in his previous life. No one deserved to have all of that looking at them with that much hunger. Jimin’s fingers fumbled over his own fly as he rushed to push his pants down, the toy in his ass still humming and the look in his Oppa’s eyes pushing him dangerously close to his end.  

Hoseok stepped into Jimin, impatient with his slow pace, helping his flustered pet step out of the snug ankles of his pants. But even though they were both in a hurry and every second Hoseok spent not in Jimin seemed like a waste of his life, he stopped short when he stood back up and took him in. 

There was more skin than usual. That’s what Hoseok noticed first. The line of Jimin’s leg was longer--it went almost to his waist. Jimin moved closer, pulling at Hoseok’s arms, urging him on, his hands moving to his own waistband before Hoseok caught them. 

Jimin whimpered. “Oppa…I need--” 

“Stay still.” Hoseok’s voice was rough, “I want to look at you.”  

Jimin hated the thought of pausing but he loved the feeling of Hoseok’s eyes on him. If he was willing to wait for anything, it was this.

Jimin normally wore boxer briefs. Tight, short, boxer briefs, sometimes sleek and black, sometimes with cute patterns...but always boxer briefs. But tonight Jimin had on something significantly less than boxer briefs. He was wearing a pair of black Balenciaga briefs with a thick waistband that sat high on his hip. The dark fabric just covered his bulge in front and (just barely) his ass in the back. There was no fabric on the sides at all--just the black elastic waistband that had a gold stripe running along the middle. 

Hoseok hadn’t seen Jimin in these before but he liked them. A lot. He liked how bare he looked. Coquettish. Like a burlesque. So much exposed, tempting. But enough left to the imagination to make you crave the reveal. The high band showed off more of his thigh and drew the eye to his hip bone, and the closeness of the fabric to his body made everything under it that much more defined. Hoseok played with the waistband as he admired Jimin. Curling his fingers under it, he pulled Jimin into him. Jimin gasped as their lips met again, their energy renewed as Hoseok moved his hands around to grope his ass through the thin fabric. “I like these,” he growled into Jimin’s mouth, as he pulled the waistband out and snapped it,  “More of these from now on.” He leaned over Jimin’s shoulder and slapped his butt, watching it jiggle under the briefs. He growled again at the sight and dug his teeth into Jimin’s shoulder. “Yes, Oppa,” Jimin sighed, too overwhelmed by the sheer contact he was getting right now with Hoseok’s bare chest pressed against his own and his lips sucking maddeningly on the skin at the base of his neck. He could tell how much he liked these and if they got this kind of rise out of him, he’d go buy a mountain of them this weekend.

Unwilling to draw it out any longer, Hoseok yanked Jimin’s briefs down and spun him around, pushing him toward the couch. “Lay down,” he ordered. “On your stomach.” 

Jimin wasted no time scrambling onto the leather couch and laying face down. He heard Hoseok ridding himself of his pants, and digging in his desk drawer for something, and then suddenly, Hoseok was on him, dragging his hot cock across his ass as he crawled over him. A feral snarl ripped out of him as he ran his hand into Jimin’s hair and lifted his head, growling into his ear. “How long has it been since I’ve fucked you?” he hissed. 

“Too long, Oppa!” Jimin gasped, arching his back to press his ass needily against Hoseok’s stiffness. Much too long. Hoseok hadn’t been in him since the day of the yacht trip. Jimin felt stupid for letting it go this long. Why weren’t they doing this every second?

“You were something else tonight, you know?” Hoseok said, sitting up, his bare ass pressed against the back of Jimin’s thighs. He pulled Jimins cheeks apart and gripped the base of the toy. “You got this in all by yourself?” It was rhetorical but that didn’t mean Jimin was allowed to not answer. He pinched at the fleshy cheek, twisting it in his fingers. 

“Agh!” Jimin grunted, “Yes, Oppa! I did it by myself.” 

Hoseok returned his hand to the metal toy and gave it a tug. Jimin was clenched firmly around it but Hoseok wasn’t in the mood to be gentle. He pulled harder and it slid out, Jimin squirming and squealing underneath him. It was released with a pop and Jimin gaped open before him. Jimin let out a low, guttural moan of relief as his hole grasped at the empty space but found no purchase. If Jimin could have seen Hoseok’s face, he might have been afraid of the madness on it as he gazed wildly where Jimin was primed and waiting for him. Hoseok tore his cheeks apart and spit noisily at the cavern. He pulled Jimin’s hands back and placed them on his cheeks. Jimin got the message and held himself open. Hoseok rubbed himself in Jimin’s cleft letting his precum lubricate the space. He was already breathing heavy and Jimin was mindlessly begging below him. Hoseok retrieved the condom and gel he’d grabbed out of his desk and sheathed himself before coating himself with the gel. 

“Please, please…” Jimin whimpered beneath him. 

Hoseok backed up a little and wrapped his arm around Jimin’s waist, lifting him a little off the couch. He was holding Jimin up on his own but that wasn’t going to be sustainable so he nudged Jimin, “Use your knees, baby,” he huffed. He still had to support him but the slight plank Jimin was now holding, gave him a little more mobility. He pressed his tip against Jimin giving him warning that he was starting and then in one strong thrust, he pushed all the way in to him. 

They groaned in unison, in relief, in pleasure. Hoseok wasted no time in picking up his pace until he was fucking ruthlessly into the younger, pushing his blonde head into the arm of the couch with each thrust.

“You were such a tease today,” Hoseok grunted. “Did you like being toyed with in public like that, my pet?” 

“Uhh, yes, Oppa!” Jimin moaned. “I liked it. Thank you!”

“What drove you to do that, huh? Did you need Oppa that bad?” Hoseok thrusted harder for emphasis. 

“Yes, Oppa! Unnn. Needed you so bad!”

Hoseok’s eyes blazed like he’d lost control but he was very careful as he leaned forward and growled next to Jimin’s ear. “Hungry little slut.”

Jimin’s eyes flew open and he looked over his shoulder at Hoseok, the thrill of the elder’s words written on his face. 

Hoseok pulled back and watched his expression carefully, but it only took him a second to see that Jimin was into it. Hoseok smiled at him and Jimin smiled back, like they’d both just realized again how absurdly well they were matched. 

Hoseok let himself fall forward and dragged Jimin up over the arm of the couch, bending him over it. He braced his hands on the arm and pounded into him.

“Yeah, you know you’re a hungry slut, don’t you?”

“Yes, Oppa!” Jimin cried, “I’m your hungry slut!”

“So desperate and needy for your Oppa’s cock. Fucking dirty slut.” 

Jimin was moaning as he bucked back against Hoseok. “Uhnn, yes, Oppa! Ah! Your dirty slut needs your cock so bad!”

Hoseok couldn’t help but dig his teeth into Jimin’s back as he gripped his hip and pulled him back into him hard. He wasn’t going to last much longer. And from the way Jimin was whimpering and shivering into a puddle below him, he knew Jimin was almost there too. 

Jimin was surprised he had lasted this long, frankly. Hoseok had edged him all night, he’d expected to cum as soon as he put his tip against him. But Hoseok had done a masterful job keeping him just a little at bay. But his vision was starting to blur and he could already feel his body tensing. He heard Hoseok let out an animalistic moan behind him and felt himself flood with satisfaction. “Aren’t I better than Blue-Hair?” he mumbled, the words tumbling from him recklessly.

Hoseok blinked, lifting from his fucked-out daze just enough to register the unexpectedness of the question. He pulled back a little and looked at the side of Jimin’s face, his expression inscrutable, before he murmured “You’re better than anyone.” 

Jimin stirred below him, “Oppa,” he grunted, “I can’t...I need to…please may I cum?”

Hoseok reached around and wrapped his hand around his cock, “Good boy for asking,” he said, “Yes, my pet, you can cum. Cum for me,” he pressed his lips into his shoulder blade, stroking and thrusting until Jimin’s body spasmed and he felt him release in his hand. Hoseok followed immediately after him, digging his nails into Jimin’s hip as he exploded within him.

He pulled out and flopped back onto the other side of the couch resting against the arm opposite Jimin. Jimin was still slightly agape across from him, still bent over the arm, heaving. Hoseok noticed he’d left a bite mark on his back and some scratches on his hip. He swallowed and dropped his head back, fixing his eyes on the ceiling while he tried to catch his breath. 

Jimin finally rolled over and looked at Hoseok. He looked like a god, spread out against the couch, sweaty and tan but with a flush of pink, veins still pulsing, chest heaving--he was a vision of power and sex. And he’d just told him he was better than anyone.  

Maybe it’s because it had been so long, or because the foreplay had been fucking ridiculous, but that was better than it had ever been. Even though it was quick and rough, there was so much more skin on skin than there had been in a while. In the closet, Hoseok hadn’t even kissed him. He hadn’t kissed him the night before they left either. That should be illegal to be naked in each other’s presence and not kiss. But tonight they were all hands and lips and sweet, foul nothings, whispered with hot breath into each other’s necks. Jimin licked his lips slowly, savoring the memory this night would leave him with. 

Jimin pulled himself forward and crawled into Hoseok’s space, planting himself between his spread knees and pulling him into a kiss with both his hands. 

Hoseok kissed back for a minute but too quickly he turned his face to the side and tapped Jimin on the hip, signaling him to get off. “We should get back--everyone will wonder where we are.”

“They’re probably all asleep.” Jimin protested, finding the thought of letting Hoseok get dressed again utterly unbearable. 

“But Tae and Kook might wake up when we get back in and we don’t want to have to explain why we’ve been gone so long.” 

Jimin nodded reluctantly, turning around to retrieve his pants. He frowned at the idea of having to put his suit back on. He was suddenly so exhausted and this suit was very cumbersome. “What are you going to tell Kook?” he asked as he pulled his pants on.

Hoseok was up and getting dressed now too, “I’m just going to tell him I had to run to my studio and make some notes. Like I had a fit of inspiration that I didn’t want to forget. I don’t know. I think it’ll work.”

Jimin nodded. That was good. Not something he could use though. And, with all due respect to Kook, Tae was a little more observant and difficult to bluff. “I guess I’ll tell Tae I wanted to grab some food from the kitchen?”

Hoseok shook his head as he used a sweater he found to wipe down the couch. “Tell him you came with me to make sure I got back okay and didn’t stay up too late. It’s less of a lie and it sounds like something you would do.”

Jimin nodded. That was definitely better than what he’d come up with. Hoseok had pulled open the studio door now and was ushering Jimin out with him. 

They were quiet as they walked down the hall until Hoseok spoke, his voice low, “Was the...name calling, okay?” he asked.

Jimin nudged him with his shoulder, “Very much so. You’ve been holding out on me.” 

Hoseok shrugged. “It’s hard to…” he cleared his throat, “to know what might be too much…” 

He’d finished the sentence in a way that made Jimin think he was going to say something else.

“But if you liked it, it might be a thing now. It’s been difficult editing out that particular impulse of mine…” he chuckled. 

Jimin chuckled too. “Hobi, if you keep fucking me like that you can call me whatever you want.” 

Hoseok stopped chuckling and swallowed hard. 

Shit. “Hoseok, I mean,” Jimin corrected himself. “Sorry…”

Hoseok gave him a weak smile, “It’s fine. Don’t worry about,” he said. He pointed at the door they had just reached. “This is you,” he said. 

“I didn’t mean--,”

Hoseok waved his hands, “No, it’s fine. It’s fine. Goodnight, Jimin. See you tomorrow.” He gave a small wave before putting his hands in his pockets and walking away. 

“Goodnight,” he heard Jimin say softly behind him.

It wasn’t fine. Nothing about what happened tonight was fine . It was fantastic and amazing and terrifying and irresponsible. And Hoseok was scared what kind of doors it had opened. In himself. In Jimin. With Jimin

What the hell have you done, Jung Hoseok?

Chapter Text

Hoseok sat in the cafeteria picking at his galbi and trying to move as little as possible. He felt a little hungover. He’d wanted to sleep in but he’d woken at 6 with just over three hours under his belt. He needed a nap. His body was battered from the pace of the last few days--of last night--and he was nursing aches in at least a dozen places. On top of that he was cranky and brimming with self-loathing. He couldn’t go more than a couple minutes without groaning or grimacing as his gut flared with regret and shame. But really he was used to that. It wasn’t pleasant--and this particular iteration was more aggressive than usual given the gravity of the sins he’d committed--but the worst of it was the gross satisfaction he felt simmering under all of that. His annoying contentment with his outrageous behavior was confusing and nauseating. He felt bad about what he did but he felt worse that he didn’t feel worse. Wasn’t it enough that he felt horrible? Did it really have to be such nuanced torture? But neither his gut nor his brain nor his conscience seemed inclined to show any mercy. 

He really wanted to apologize to Jimin...sure, Jimin had instigated. Hoseok hadn’t asked him for anything that happened last night. But he went along with it. He was the one pushing the button all night. In public. Surrounded by cameras and bandmates and rivals. And again, he was the hyung. He should have said no. Jimin deserved an apology and it would make him feel better to say it. But then he remembered he’d vowed not to keep shoving his angst and guilt and self-loathing in Jimin’s face. It only makes him worry and feel bad. And that didn’t help anything. So stewing in silence and pretending it never happened was best.

He clenched his eyes shut tightly, his whole body cringing as another rush of scenes from the awards show flickered in his head. He already knew that was going to be something that made his stomach turn sporadically for years and years to come. He would never get over that particular lapse in judgment. But the recklessness at the awards show was only part of the ugly, uncomfortable thing balled up tightly in the base of his stomach. 

Something unsettling happened after the awards show too...in Hope World.

Aren’t I better than Blue-Hair? Jimin’s words rang in his head again. He’d repeated them a hundred times before he went to bed last night, mulling over their implications.

When Jimin had interrupted him and the girl at the awards show, he had thought it was a game. That Jimin was feeling feisty and horny and wanted his attention. He was just being a playful, possessive pet. Blue-Hair was just another fun part of the game--it was Jimin being Jimin and wanting to feel special and chosen and better.

And maybe his question was just a reflection of that sentiment. Maybe when he asked Hoseok, he really wanted that final boast of victory. Over Hoseok as much as Blue-Hair. He’d gotten his way and he wanted to hear it again. 

But the way he’d said it. It didn’t sound like he was being smug. It sounded distinctly a-powerful. Vulnerable, even. It made Hoseok feel like maybe Jimin was asking for more of the reassurance that he’d wanted in the closet. But not reassurance that Hoseok wasn’t walking away--rather reassurance that Hoseok wasn’t interested, sexually in someone else. In Blue-Hair. So him interrupting them with this audacious plan wasn’t about having fun or wanting attention. It was about stopping him from talking to Blue-Hair. It almost seemed like...like maybe Jimin was jealous. 

And that wasn’t good. It was decidedly bad. 

Truly, Hoseok hadn’t been trying anything with Blue-Hair. He’d been encouraged to mingle, she’d approached him, she was cute. It was just a natural thing for him to flirt with her. It hadn’t crossed his mind that it was leading anywhere. He wasn’t really interested in her. He was just going through the motions. Which, in retrospect, struck him as a little strange, anyway. It’s not like Hoseok was always on the prowl but he enjoyed meeting new people and having a fun, wild time with them. On any other given night he and Blue-Hair would probably have had a fun wild time. But last night, that hadn’t really been on his radar. But he was tired and he had Jimin lined up for the next day so maybe it wasn’t so crazy that Blue-Hair hadn’t really excited him in the way she would have had he met her at another time or place.  

But whether or not he was interested in Blue-Hair shouldn’t matter. Hoseok and Jimin weren’t exclusive. There was no expectation of exclusivity, or there shouldn’t be at least. This was casual. That’s all it was. Hoseok thought he’d been clear. He’d tried to be so clear.

And then there was his own equally unsettling response. You’re better than anyone. He was in a daze when he’d said it. He hadn’t thought it through, it just sort of came out. It’s not like he was lying. It was true. Jimin was better at what they had been doing than anyone he’d ever had. That was straight fact. But maybe he hadn’t made it clear that’s what he meant when he said that. Maybe Jimin took it wrong. If his question was more than a brag, Hoseok’s answer could have seemed more...meaningful than it was.

He wanted to talk to Jimin to about their impromptu exchange and nip any miscommunication in the bud...but his mind went back to the conversation they’d had before they left for Japan. Jimin didn’t feel important or taken care of. Sitting him down and telling him that they were just casual and he needed to not be so attached wasn’t going to help that. So Hoseok wasn’t going to say anything about that either. He was going to pretend it never happened and find a way to drop subtle reminders that they weren’t a real thing.

“Hey Hyung,” Hoseok was pulled from his thoughts as Tae sat down at his table, Jungkook and Jimin in tow. 

“Hi Taehyung. Kook,” his eyes landed on the blonde with them, “Jimin…”

“Hi Hyung.” Jimin smiled at him. 

He looked good. He looked so good. Somehow almost as good as he did last night when Hoseok had though he’d never seen him look prettier. How was that even possible?

“How are you all feeling?” Hoseok asked as the trio took a seat across from him. “After the trip? Everyone holding up okay?” 

The maknaes looked at each other as if to confirm. “No problems, here, Hyung.” Tae said. Kook made an assenting hum of agreement.

Jimin was a little sore. About where he expected to be after his...strenuous...activities last night. But he just nodded too.

“That’s good. You all kept up very well with our schedule.” He gave them all a proud smile that each of them returned adoringly. It’s not that Hoseok didn’t dole out praise often. But he watched them all so carefully, it never felt like he was just saying it to be nice. No one knew as well as he did how well they had actually done.

“So are you guys relaxing today?” Hoseok asked. “We start rehearsing again tomorrow so you should rest.”

“We’re going to the mall with Jin.” Jungkook said.

“The mall? Aren’t you tired?” Hoseok laughed. “Can’t it wait?”

“Jimin said he needed to buy some new underwear.” Tae shrugged.

Hoseok choked on his water. He glanced at Jimin who was biting back a smile behind a furious blush. “Well, um. Have fun I guess.” 

“Hyung, do you want to come with us?” Jungkook asked.

Hoseok thought about it. Do I want to go watch Jimin buy skimpy underwear that he’s getting for the sole purpose of letting me pull them off of him with my teeth? That probably was not the wisest plan. “No. I’m going to spend some time in the studio with Yoongi.” 

Tae shrugged, “If you’re sure.”

“You guys have fun, though.”

“Oh, Hyung?” Jimin asked. “I couldn’t find my phone this morning. I think I left it in Hope World.” 

“Oh yeah, I saw it in there this morning.” Hoseok said. “I meant to bring it to you. I’m sorry, I forgot. But you’re more than welcome to grab it. I left it on the small desk. You know the code, yeah?”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah. Thanks,” he said.  

“Cool. Well Jimin you should go grab your phone.” Tae got up and Jungkook followed suit. “Kookie and I will go find Jin and we’ll meet you at the car. Have fun with Yoongi, hyung.” he said, waving a small goodbye to Hoseok before turning to leave. 

“Thanks, you guys have fun too,” Hoseok said. As soon as Tae and Jungkook had turned, Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s arm and held him, watching the others leave until they were out of earshot before addressing him. “Hey, um. I know you’re...getting those...for me. Um. Can I give you some money for them or something?”

Jimin’s expression fell somewhere between horror, embarrassment, and amusement. “You want to buy me underwear?” 

Hoseok blushed. “Um, well I just...thought...since...I kind of asked…

“Ordered.” Jimin corrected with a smirk.

Hoseok huffed a laugh, “Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

Jimin shook his head, “No, Hoseok. I don’t need you to buy me sexy underwear. I think that’s a little weird.”

Hoseok nodded and dropped it. “Okay. Just wanted to offer.” 

“I appreciate it,” he said. “Thanks, anyway.” 

As Jimin walked away, Hoseok thought he maybe felt a little better. Jimin didn’t want him to buy him underwear. He thought it was “weird.” That was a good sign, right? That Jimin had a line in place that stopped before buying each other delicates. So maybe he wasn’t over-investing? Maybe last night he was just bragging. Or just being possessive at the worst. Hoseok was relieved but for some reason he couldn’t quite figure out, he was suddenly frowning too.

***

Jimin opened the door to Hope World and his senses were immediately overwhelmed by the smell of chemicals. Hoseok had cleaned this morning. It had probably killed him to leave the couch just barely wiped down when they left last night. It was shiny now and smelled like some sort of piney cleaner. But Hoseok hadn’t stopped at the couch. He’d cleaned the floors, polished them too, by the looks of it, dusted all the furniture, and impeccably folded every single hoodie and beanie in the room. Jimin had the feeling Hoseok was trying to wash away more than their mess. 

He sighed and looked around the room. He felt a small buzz of arousal as he imagined the scene from last night--their fancy suits crumpled on the floor, Jimin bent over the arm of the couch, screaming filthy profanities as Hoseok pounded into him from behind. The slow, sensual kiss they’d shared after they had finished. He closed his eyes to savor the memory of the feeling of Hoseok on his lips. 

He heard his phone buzz and he made his way to the desk where Hoseok said it would be. Sure enough, he found it, low on battery and a new notification from Tae telling him to “hurry up *pouty face*.” He reached across the desk to grab it but, as he turned to leave, a small piece of paper crumpled on the top of the wastebasket caught his attention. It stuck out to him because it looked familiar in a way that was jarring to him, but he couldn’t place it. Why did it make his stomach turn? He reached down and tentatively picked the slip of paper up, holding it between his fingers like he was afraid it might bite him. He saw blue numbers scribbled across the white surface and his heart jumped. Blue-Hair’s phone number. He threw it away.  

It was almost painful how tight his chest got when he made the connection. Hoseok wasn’t interested in her. Hoseok wasn’t going to call her or see her again. Hoseok threw her number away. He couldn’t help the smile that bloomed across his face and the glow that was suddenly warming his whole body. 

His phone buzzed again and he didn’t have to check to know it was Tae. He looked at the numbers one last time and crumpled the paper back up, returning it to the place Hoseok had decided it belonged--the trash--and made his way out of Hope World, a little lighter in his step.

*** 

Yoongi’s studio was bigger than Hoseok’s. Mostly because he basically lived in there and his space needed to accommodate a piano in addition to all of the equipment. But the size made it a pretty comfortable spot to hangout. The room was never as neat nor as colorful as Hoseok’s, and it wasn’t as cozy as Joon’s with his water gardens, hand-carved wood furniture, bonsais and succulents, and tomes of poetry scattered about, but it was cool and inviting in its own way. At least Hoseok found it inviting. Most people probably read the “Go Away” mat outside the door a little more hostilely. 

“Hey Hobi,” Yoongi said, leaving the door open for Hoseok to walk through and shuffling back to his seat. 

Hoseok looked the older rapper over as he walked in. He had a beanie on his head that made his features look impossibly small. His skin was pale and a little waxen, but his dark eyes were alert. Hoseok glanced at the desk where five empty coffee cups were strewn about. He didn’t have shoes on but the elastic ankle of his sweats were pulled over his heels and when he sat down in the chair and pulled his knees in, he tucked his toes into the elastic ankles too. Yoongi had already returned to his computer and was clicking and dragging some files into his open mix. 

“I brought you some food,” Hoseok said, holding up a box of chicken and a bowl of noodles he’d brought with him. Yoongi had been itching to get back to his studio the whole time they were in Japan so Hoseok was sure he hadn’t left it since he got back.

“Thanks,” the elder said, grabbing it from him and moving to the plush, black leather couch in the corner. He sank into his usual spot and dug into the chicken.

“No problem,” Hoseok smiled as he plopped down next to him. “So how’s the project going?” He asked.

Yoongi was already shaking his hand and waving his chopsticks, “Mmn, no. You. What’s up with you?” He said, his mouth full.

“Me?” 

“Yeah,” Yoongi nodded. “The whole anxious, stressed out, ball of nerves thing…”

Hoseok looked surprised, then smiled, a little touched. He didn’t think Yoongi had noticed, but this made more sense. He had. He just didn’t want to bring it up before their trip. Yoongi’s brand of sympathy was very pragmatic. Everyone hurts. Everyone gets upset. Let’s deal with it in a way that makes sense and accept that it sucks. Hoseok appreciated the mechanical approach, even if it was a little nihilistic. Hoseok sighed, “I’m fine. It’s nothing, really.”

“For two weeks--almost three? It’s been nothing?” Yoongi said, skeptically. “The last time you were this stressed out for more than a week was...well every week pre-debut…” he took another bite as Hoseok chuckled. “But since then, it hasn’t happened.”

That was half true. He had generally and genuinely been more positive since debut. But he’d also gotten a lot better about taking care of his problems before anyone noticed them. “I’m taking care of it…” Hoseok conceded.

“Have you talked to Jimin about it?”

“Huh?” Hoseok tensed, surprised by the question. “Why would I talk to Jimin?” He asked, hoping he sounded aloof.

Yoongi shrugged. “I know you two usually help each other out when you’re stressed.”

Oh. That was true. Or it used to be anyway. They both worked really hard to keep their anxieties to themselves. They were supposed to lift the team not bring them down. So when things got tough, Hoseok would put on a happy face and entertain and distract and alleviate some of the burden of performance, while Jimin would provide the support and comfort, and they’d push down their own troubles, only unmasking them in front of each other when they became too much to hide. They used to spend hours cuddled up in a big chair in the living room, just crying into each other’s oversized pajama shirts until they were able to laugh with each other again. Add that to the long list of things he loved and lost when he’d started fucking him

“Nah,” Hoseok shrugged. “I’m fine.”

Yoongi scrunched his face a little, pausing mid-chew to consider something, “You can talk to me about it then,” he said.

Hoseok stifled a smirk. Yoongi was such a softie. Hoseok thought about turning him down. He obviously couldn’t explain that he was fucking Jimin and hiding it from everyone and now he was worried that Jimin was getting too attached and when he broke his heart Bangtan would be irreparably damaged and that was if they managed to last long enough to end terribly before they got caught and destroyed Bangtan entirely. 

But...he really could use someone to talk to. He didn’t expect a remedy. He just wanted to get some of it off his chest. And it wasn’t exactly uncommon for he and Yoongi to talk. They talked a lot. Maybe not about deep stuff like this. Not in a while anyway. But he was his best friend and he trusted that he could tell him anything and Yoongi would do his best to be understanding and helpful. Few people knew him better than this tiny curmudgeon with a heart of gold across from him.

“I’ve been feeling really guilty lately,” Hoseok said softly.

Yoongi leaned back into the couch with his food still in hand. If he was surprised by Hoseok’s words, he didn’t show it. He looked at Hoseok, signaling him to continue.

“It’s--it’s my project.” He spoke carefully to make sure nothing came out accidentally that he couldn’t take back. “I’m spending so much time on it. It--it feels irresponsible to take...so much time...away from Bangtan.” 

Yoongi’s eyebrows pulled together confused.

“It’s not just the time. It’s taking so much of my energy and emotional capacity too.” Hoseok continued, feeling his burden already growing lighter and rushing to ease it even further. “I don’t want it to interfere with my responsibilities but I feel like it is--or it will eventually. I don’t want you guys to feel like...my project...is more important to me than you. Than Bangtan. It makes me feel guilty that...I’m being unfair and potentially hurting the team for something that, in the end, basically amounts to nothing.” 

So he left out the part about how his “project” was also something precious he’d kind of taken away from Bangtan and maybe corrupted and would very likely end up breaking before he returned it. But it was as close a metaphor as he was comfortable with.

Yoongi leaned forward and put his bowl down. “So let me get this straight? You feel like you’re betraying your commitment to Bangtan because you’re using a lot of your personal and emotional resources doing something that’s more for you than for the team?”

Hoseok shrugged and nodded, agreeing to his summary. 

“That’s stupid.” Yoongi said, leaning back and shoving more chicken in his mouth.

Hoseok laughed. “Ah, well that settles it then.” 

Yoongi swallowed and cleared his throat. “Seriously. If this project is really taking so much of your time and energy and emotional output and you’re still so committed to following through with it even though it means you’re giving less than 150% to Bangtan, then it’s clearly something that means a lot to you. Or at least makes you really happy, or fulfills you in some way, or is giving you something you need that Bangtan isn’t.” 

Woah.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about doing things for you. You deserve things too. And we’re all proud of you and excited for you and rooting for you.” He shoved another scoop of noodles in his mouth. “Don’t worry about us, Hope. No one can question your love or loyalty when it comes to Bangtan. Just take care of yourself, okay? If you have to scale back and just give Bangtan 130%, do that. Don’t get so stressed out…You’re stressing Hyung out…”

Hoseok forced a smile at him. Yoongi’s advice was meant to be soothing. In a lot of ways it was. He heard the words and wanted to soak them into his bones so they could absolve and heal him. But they carried no real weight. He never would have said any of that if he’d known what he was really talking about. If he’d known the awful thing he was doing. And in true Hoseok form, now he just felt bad that he’d earned such kind words from Yoongi by lying to him.

And then there was Yoongi’s implication that his willingness to syphon any of his energy from Bangtan must mean his “project” is really important to him. Hoseok wasn’t willing to confront that revelation right now so he locked it away for another time. 

“Thanks, hyung,” Hoseok managed. “It really is fun and kind of a nice escape. I’ll try not to get so stressed about it anymore.” 

Yoongi shrugged again. “Ah, but then we don’t always get a say, do we?”

Straight from the horse’s mouth. “No...we don’t.” 

Hoseok cleared his throat and sat up, reaching for some of the chicken Yoongi hadn’t finished yet.

“Hey, do you know where Jin is, by the way?” Yoongi asked, suddenly.

“I think he went to the mall with the kids.” 

“Did he um...did he seem upset?” Yoongi asked, poking the noodles around his bowl with a small smirk.

Hoseok smiled for real now. “I didn’t see him. Why would he be upset, hyung?”

“I lost a bet we made last night and I was supposed to take him out to some ridiculously overpriced new restaurant tonight but I bailed on him…” Yoongi tried not to look too amused but he was losing the battle. 

Hoseok feigned a look of audacity. “You bet Jin a food prize and then didn’t follow through?! Do you have a death wish?!”

Yoongi’s smile widened even more, his lips pulling back to reveal his gums, “You--you should have seen him,” he said doubling a little as he laughed, “He said--he said he was going to write his own Cypher about me and my food betrayal.” 

Hoseok clapped and laughed, his open smile taking up half his face. “That man has incredible breath control hyung, I wouldn’t battle him if I were you.”

Yoongi was curled on his side laughing now, trying not to spill the noodles. “Imagine, the puns. The word play, the lightning speed rants…” There were almost tears in his eyes now, “The pink fit with the pink, sparkly mic!” 

Hoseok flailed back on the couch in hysterics. “I would pay money to see that.” 

Yoongi sat back up as his laughed faded to a fond chuckle, “He knows he just gets cuter when he’s mad right?”

“He could never pull off a Cypher.” Hoseok said, equally fond, “That’s one of his best qualities.”

“I’ll pay him back. I ordered him dinner for tonight already and maybe we’ll go fishing this weekend…”

“What if he eats at the mall?”

Yoongi looked at him like he was dumb, “What like he won’t eat twice?”

Hoseok conceded that point quickly.

Yoongi popped up and put his bowl on the table. “Yah, did you come here to wallow and laugh or did you come here to listen to what I’ve been working on and help.” He shuffled back over to his computer and plopped into his desk chair.

Hoseok raised his eyebrows, “I came here to wallow and laugh--you didn’t say anything about work…” but he was already taking the headphones Yoongi was holding out for him.  

“Oh, Hyung, what was the bet?” he said, as he took the seat next to the elder.

Yoongi smiled wryly, “I bet him he’d get caught…”

“Caught?”

“He was drinking vodka out of his water bottle all night last night.” Yoongi laughed. “He was wasted.” 

Hoseok’s jaw dropped and then he joined Yoongi. “No way…”

Yoongi just nodded, still laughing.

“Wow, he really is the best actor…” Hoseok said, shaking his head. 

“Nah,” Yoongi smirked. “We’re just idiots…”

***

The single day of rest after Japan had not been enough--especially given that none of them had spent it really resting. Jungkook was desperately regretting letting Tae talk him into going to the mall when he could have been doing something like playing Overwatch in a tub full of ice. The choreo this morning kicked all of their butts. They knew the moves, they just had a hard time getting their bodies to do them. Jungkook had been one of the few who’d had a little easier time of it but even he felt stiff and slow compared to usual. He wasn’t worried about it though. They had a while before their next appearance and no one was actually injured. They would get back in their groove by this afternoon’s rehearsal probably.

The team made their way into the locker room to change for lunch. Normally they ate in the studio but since they were easing back in, they had a three hour break and none of them particularly liked being in sweaty clothes for so long. Jungkook least of all. He was the last to the locker room but he wasted no time. He had his sweater off already by the time he reached his locker but he did a quick sweep of the room to make sure no one was waiting on him--everyone was anxious to eat and he wasn’t planning on slowing them down. He heard Namjoon and Jin chatting near their lockers at the end of the aisle, Tae was on his right humming, Yoongi was slumped on the bench leaning against his locker just waiting on someone to tell him when they’re all leaving, and Jimin--

Woah. 

Jungkook did a double take. Jimin was about 15 feet away, and he was naked except for the ridiculous underwear he’d just bought yesterday at the mall.

Jungkook had blushed when he saw Jimin pick them up in the store. So tiny . The waistband-to-fabric ratio was way out of proportion. The pair he was wearing now was a deep emerald but he’d checked out with at least 10 different colors and patterns. Tae and Jin had laughed and argued that they couldn’t possibly be comfortable but Jimin had said they made him feel sexy and insisted they were comfortable enough. But Jungkook thought they both had points now--they definitely did not look comfortable, but Jimin probably definitely felt sexy in them.  

He should.

“Wow.” Jungkook exhaled, almost against his will. Jungkook wasn’t into boys. He was pretty sure anyways. But it was hard to grow up around Jimin and not be a little curious. He had just enough feminine charisma to create some confusion and Jungkook couldn’t help the blood that flowed to his groin. He looked away quickly trying to find a safe place to put his eyes and saw Hobi looking over his locker at Jimin too. He smiled a little. Apparently, he hadn’t been the only person whose attention Jimin and his new underwear had caught. 

Jungkook waited for Hobi to remember himself and look away embarrassed just as he’d done. But the longer he looked at him, the less it seemed like his gaze was unintentional. In fact, it looked very deliberate. And Jungkook had seen the look burning in his hyung’s eyes enough to be startled to see it here now. 

Jungkook looked back at Jimin who also seemed to have noticed Hobi’s stare. But Jimin didn’t seem embarrassed by it. On the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying the attention-- maybe looking for it . He had a small smile on his lips and his hands moved slowly to linger on his waistband, pulling on it, pushing it down, sliding his fingers under it. He turned his body to both sides slowly, jutting his hip out and arching his back a little as he did so. His eyes were fixed on his locker, looking at nothing but with a playful smile on his face. Still Hobi watched him. 

Jungkook thought it almost looked like...like Jimin was... modeling for Hobi--showing off the sexy new underwear he’d bought. Jungkook wanted to think he wasn’t seeing what he thought he was seeing...but it was awfully hard to read the interaction any other way. 

Then Jimin made eye contact with Hobi again--they were both definitely aware of the other’s awareness--and, looking smug, Jimin slowly pulled his pants on. Hobi finally looked away, a smile matching Jimin’s spreading across his face. 

Jungkook turned away too, embarrassed for himself at Jimin and Hobi’s brazen flirtation. He felt like he’d just witnessed something very intimate and adult--something he wasn’t meant to have seen. 

He heard a locker slam shut beside him and before he knew it, Tae had his arm hooked in his and was pulling him down the aisle. Jimin was dressed now too so Tae threw his other arm around his shoulder and pulled them both into the hallway. 

----

“I’m starving!” Tae groaned, as they plopped down at a table, their trays leaden with meats and noodles and pickled vegetables. 

Jin walked by them with his tray stacked twice as high, “Yah, you kids are really going to regret eating all that at our evening rehearsal…” he chastised them.

Jungkook smiled widely, as Jimin pointed out his contradiction in words and actions.

“Yah, but I’m a professional eater.” Jin clarified. “I have a show.” He tapped his temple with the hand-carved chopsticks he carried everywhere as if he had proved his point really cleverly, and walked over to where the rest of the hyungs were sitting. 

Jimin’s eyes followed Jin affectionately as he moved away but his attention was pulled to Hoseok as soon as he came into sight. He was laughing loudly, his mouth wide open and full of food and his hand just barely doing enough of a job covering it for Jimin to find it adorable and not gross. Though, Jimin might have found it adorable even with noodles hanging out of his mouth. There was nothing about Hoseok’s smile that didn’t make Jimin a hundred kinds of wobbly. It had always been that way.

Jimin brought his eyes back to the table and began to eat. He was still feeling tingly from Hoseok’s response to his new underwear. He’d made sure he had his attention before he pulled his workout sweats down and he’d been lucky enough to catch the look of awe on Hoseok’s face when he’d revealed them. He took care to give Hoseok as much of a show as he could so that whenever they were able to meet next, he’d be eager to see the rest. He wondered if Hoseok was thinking about him right now even...

“Jimin-ah,” Tae’s voice reached him as he felt a knock against his chopsticks. “What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” Jimin said, looking from Tae to Jungkook, a smile still on his lips. “Oh, I was just thinking I might go back for some japchae.” 

Tae huffed. “Wow, you must really love japchae then,” he smirked.

“Why do you say that?” Jimin laughed.

Tae looked at him incredulously, “Jimin-ah, you have hearts in your eyes.” 

Jimin was startled by the accusation, his laughter catching abruptly in his throat. “What? No, I don’t.” He sounded defensive even to his own ears. 

“Puh-lease!” Tae guffawed loudly. “Literal hearts.”

Jimin shook his head and waved his hand at him, “Agh, whatever,” he said, laughing lightly but only to cover the sound of his heart thundering in denial. But Tae wasn’t done.

“You look like a bride on her wedding day, completely love struck.” He clasped his hands together and blinked dramatically, “Oh, japchae! My precious japchae, oh how I love you, sweet, perfect japchae!!” He picked his chopsticks back up and pointed them at Jimin. “It would be grossing me out if it weren’t so adorable...” he cooed.

Jimin blushed and swallowed hard, still shaking his head too erratically to be nonchalant. He glanced at Kook to find him staring at an empty spot on the table with wide eyes and his jaw a little slack--“Jungshook” about something and not even paying attention.  

Jimin managed a chuckle, “I guess I’m just really, really hungry,” he said before changing the subject. 

***

Jungkook was right. Everyone did do better in their afternoon rehearsal. Almost everyone, anyway. 

Jimin was distracted. Really distracted. His eyes kept traveling to Hoseok and then he’d snap them back, blinking hard, trying to blot out any hearts that may have formed there. Trying to see if he could feel them. Trying to see if what Tae had said was true.

When he got back to his room, he stood staring into the bathroom mirror for an hour. Thinking about Hoseok. Thinking about kissing him, and laying with him, and laughing with him, and being under him with his strong hands kneading into his back, and then locking eyes with himself hoping to not see what Tae saw. But it was so clear in them now. Clearer every time. Even through the tears that welled there. Stupid, dangerous, meddlesome hearts.  

He sobbed in frustration and slammed his fist on the counter. How could he let this happen? How could he go and fuck things up this badly? Why did he have to be such a stupid, childish cliche? 

He’d heard about this sort of thing happening. Falling in love with your first because you don’t know any better and it’s new and exciting and the rush is so all-consuming you drown. It wasn’t love, not really. It was just blinders. Fantasy. Delusion. And the fact that Jimin harbored another kind of love for Hoseok--a real, deep fraternal love--made this illusion all the more convincing. Jimin had never been in love before so didn’t understand really what the difference was between the attraction and care and devotion he felt toward Hoseok now and the kind of eternal romantic love his stupid eyes seemed to be reflecting. But he was smart enough to know that there was a difference and he didn’t actually love Hoseok like that. He wasn’t in love with his hyung. 

And he was going to prove it.

“Hey!” he called, marching out of the bathroom. “Let’s go out tonight.” 

Tae looked up at him and pulled his headphones out. “Go out?”

“Yeah,” Jimin said, enthusiastically. “Dancing.”

“We can’t tonight.” Tae said, turning back to his show. “We’re recording first thing tomorrow.”

Right. Clubs and alcohol and late nights were not good for their voices. 

“Tomorrow, then.” Jimin bargained. 

Tae considered it then shrugged and Jimin clapped excitedly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he said, pouncing on Tae to hug him. 

This was perfect. This was going to work.

Chapter Text

Friday evening arrived and Hoseok had been pacing in his room for the last 15 minutes. He was thinking about inviting Jimin over for the night. Jungkook had said he was going out--Hoseok wasn’t sure what he was doing but if he would be gone for the evening, it might be a good time to do some more experimenting with his eager young partner. 

Truthfully, Hoseok had been on edge since Jimin’s little show in the locker room yesterday. During rehearsal, he’d caught a glimpse of the dark, thick waistband under his sweats while he was monitoring his choreo in the mirror. So when they got to the locker room, Hoseok was watching him very carefully, waiting for him to drop his pants and show his Oppa what he’d bought for him. And Hoseok was not disappointed. They fit him so well, the color was beautiful against his skin, they emphasized all the right places on his thighs and hips...The show had been far too short but enough to whet his appetite. And he was ready to gorge himself. 

But he’d been trying to let Jimin initiate for the last few weeks because he still felt weird about being the one to ask. Not for the first time he reminded himself that as Jimin’s hyung, his requests, his advances can be a little more persuasive than they perhaps ought to be. Jimin was so eager to say yes to him in any context--he always had been--so even if Hoseok wasn’t intending to pressure him, he still was. He always would be. Part of him felt like he was just splitting hairs at this point and really initiating it was barely that much worse than participating in it. But it was enough of a difference to make him avoid it if at all possible. So every time he got up to go find Jimin, his conscience made him sit back down. Jimin will come to me if he wants to hook up.

But what if he thinks I’m busy? He should at least let Jimin know that he’s available and interested and that Jungkook is out. How else is he supposed to know he’s not bothering me. Because Jimin does that too. He’s very concerned about bothering people. 

Making up his mind (or at least acting before his mind settled on a ‘no’), Hoseok got to his feet and bolted out his door in the direction of Jimin’s room. He walked quickly and counted his steps so as not to give his brain time to talk him out of it again but he had less time than he thought anyway because when he rounded the final corner, he found Jimin standing at his and Tae’s door, which was ajar. He heard Jungkook’s voice coming from inside and it sounded like Tae was trying to talk him out of the hoodie he was wearing, but he didn’t catch the maknae’s response because his focus was entirely captured by Jimin. 

He looked fucking hot . Nasty hot. Illegal hot. Hotter than Hoseok could have come up with in his head even. So hot that Hoseok’s body acted before his brain could process it and he felt his cock twitch violently in his sweats. This was the first time he could remember seeing his lover before he saw his dongsaeng and he’d never slipped into Oppa-mode so quick. 

His pet had on tight leather pants. Tight . That’s what Hoseok noticed first. They pulled over his thighs and ass, hugging every divot in the muscles there, the seam of the seat outlining the dip in between his firm, round cheeks. They were so tight that he knew if Jimin got even a little hard, the whole world would know it. He wondered suddenly if Jimin had his little plug in and, if he did, how his pants were managing to conceal it. The leather fit snug around his ankles, too, and disappeared almost seamlessly into a pair of expensive Chelsea boots which were pointy and had a heel on them. The illusion made Jimin’s legs look impossibly long and so sexy. On top, he was wearing a white t-shirt that was loose around his neck, falling into a low v that would leave little to the imagination when he leaned over. It wasn’t snug but it was thin enough that when it fell against his body you could see the outline of the muscles in his tight stomach. He wore a couple of delicate silver chains around his neck and a handful of matching rings on his fingers. He had a dark jacket folded up in his arms that shimmered a little and would look amazing against his bright skin. His blond hair was pushed a little back so his forehead was exposed and he had a full face of sultry, smokey make-up on with a shiny, sheer lip gloss highlighting his deliciously plump pout. As he leaned against the wall, his hips pushed a little forward, and it looked so erotic that Hoseok swore he could get off on this image alone.

“Hey Jimin,” he called, putting his hands in his pockets and moving down the hall toward him. 

“Oh, hi.” Jimin said as he looked up. He shifted nervously and Hoseok could tell.

“What are you up to tonight?” He asked. “You look…” his eyes swept over Jimin again and his tongue swiped across his lip. “Well, you look incredible,” Hoseok breathed, his voice husky even as a whisper. 

Jimin flushed, heat rising from his collar and he noticed a distinct flutter in his stomach. Has that always been there? Fuck. He had butterflies. Butterflies and heart-eyes. Just from simple, stupid words . Whispered to him by a beautiful man with fire in his kind eyes and the prettiest heart shaped lips…

“Dancing,” he mumbled. “Tae and I...we’re going dancing.” 

Hoseok felt his head spin. Jimin. Dancing. In that.

“Dancing, huh?” Hoseok smirked at Jimin. “Don’t get enough of that at work?”

“No.” He smiled back, “And neither do you.” 

Hoseok conceded with a nod. To hell with his no-asking rule. If Jimin was going to look like that, he was going to ask. “Mind if I join you?”

Jimin bit his lip and looked away. Yes. He didn’t want Hoseok to come. That was the whole point. “I um...I kind of wanted to spend some time with Tae,” he said, avoiding Hoseok’s eyes.

“Oh,” Hoseok only sounded sad for a second before he recovered. “That’s cool. That’ll be fun!” He put his hands in his pockets. “I just remembered I have plans with Yoongi anyway. You guys have a good time.” He smiled in a way that managed to look genuine and then turned and walked away, moving quickly back down the hall. 

Jimin fought the instinct to call him back. Telling someone they weren’t welcome went against every fibre of his being. And saying it to Hoseok was particularly gut-wrenching. He already missed him. But that was the problem. He shouldn’t miss Hoseok. And he probably didn’t really. It was all part of the twisted trick his brain was playing on him. The joke of him being in love. If Hoseok was there at the club tonight, it would ruin everything. He would be too distracted--or maybe even unwilling--to do what he needed to do to prove that what he thought he was feeling wasn’t real. 

Tonight Jimin had one goal: break the magic and power that his “first” had over him...by finding a “second.” 

 

***

Hoseok laid down on his bed and folded his hands behind his head wondering if he’d have a reason at all to get up again tonight. He’d told Jimin he had plans with Yoongi in an attempt to save face when Jimin unexpectedly shut him down, but Yoongi was taking Jin out tonight to make up for bailing on him yesterday. Maybe Joon was free. He propped himself up and pulled out his phone.

 

Hoseok : Hey Joon, wanna grab a drink?

Joon : I’m on my way to the club with the kids. You should come!”  

 

So Jimin wanted to spend time with Tae, and Jungkook, and Namjoon...just not him. Nice.

 

Hoseok : Nah, I’m just gonna take it easy tonight I think. Have fun.

 

Hoseok dropped his phone on the floor by his bed and flopped back onto his pillow. He was on his own tonight with nothing to do but think about how lame that was. 

He was surprised Jimin had said he couldn’t go dancing with them, actually. He hadn’t expected that. It was very...un-Jimin-like and it kind of hurt his feelings. Not just as the guy he was sleeping with but...as his friend. He couldn’t remember Jimin ever intentionally excluding him. He wondered briefly if he was mad about something but seeing as the last interaction they’d had was him doing a little striptease for him in the locker room and he seemed just fine then, he thought that seemed unlikely. 

He tried to take it as a good sign--another reassurance that Jimin wasn’t too attached. He didn’t want him to buy him underwear and he didn’t want to go to the club with him. If he was attached he wouldn’t have told him to get lost, right? He would have invited him along. Maybe they would have made out a little in the bathroom. Maybe they would have flirted a little too seriously at a booth in the corner and let their hands wander a little too far under the table. But he didn’t invite him along. And there was no bathroom make-out or booth-flirting or hand-wandering. So he wasn’t attached. 

He didn’t even invite him. Maybe they weren’t even friends anymore… 

Hoseok shook the thought away, swallowing hard to keep the swell of emotion that thought brought with it at bay. Jimin wasn’t attached. That was a good thing.

And Hoseok wasn’t attached either. He reluctantly dug out that thing Yoongi had said to him yesterday. The out-of-context but prescient point he’d made that Hoseok had subsequently buried until he could really chew on it. When he pointed out that his “project” must mean a lot to him if he was willing to stick with it despite the personal expense. 

His “project” must mean a lot to him. Jimin must mean a lot to him.

Now that he said it in his head, it really didn’t seem that scary. Of fucking course Jimin meant a lot to him. He meant the most to him. Of course he would make personal sacrifices to make sure Jimin felt happy and secure--to make sure he didn’t hurt him. Yes, being with him made him feel guilty and conflicted and exhausted but calling it off meant making Jimin unhappy and that wasn’t an option. So maybe he had to suffer a little here and there but of course he would bear it for Jimin.

For himself too . It’s not like this was only for Jimin. That’s probably more of what Yoongi was getting at actually. After all, his assumption was that the “project” was doing something for Hoseok--not vice versa. And Hoseok had to admit it was… he was. 

In a twisted way, being with Jimin did make him happy. Maybe happy wasn’t the right word. What he had with Jimin was intense and fleeting in a way that the word “happiness” didn’t connote. It was the highest highs followed by extended periods of the lowest lows. Pleasure he’d never imagined or known and then soul-crushing guilt and fear and shame. But the highs were so intoxicating and addicting--so high that it made the terrible stuff ultimately worth it.  

Maybe being willing to stick with something that hurts you because it also makes you feel really really good and it protects someone you really care about seems like attachment, but it isn’t. 

So neither of them were attached. And that should be a relief.

But if Hoseok was relieved he could barely feel it under his disappointment that he was going to miss the rare opportunity to see club-Jimin with these new eyes of his. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow and groaned. 

He knew he and Jimin couldn’t actually do anything at the club. They definitely couldn’t have danced together. Not the way he’d like to. Not with Jimin’s full, round ass grinding back against him, his arm thrown around his neck, and his fingers tugging at the hair on his nape. Not with his own hand on the front of Jimin’s leather pants and his face buried in the smaller’s neck, pressing hot, hungry kisses behind his ear and against his throat. Not with their guards and the other boys there. 

But they could have watched each other. Hoseok had seen Jimin dancing at a club before and it was always magnificent to behold. Hoseok could only imagine how it would look to him now that he knew every inch of Jimin’s body so intimately. Now that he felt the sexual power Jimin oozed in his bones. When he danced without choreo, free-form to a beat that was made to just move to, he looked so effortlessly sexy. His hips swayed almost hypnotically. His lips would part, his eyes would be penetrating and alive but also lidded, seductively. His hands would move across his sweaty body slowly, sensually to touch his hair, his thighs, his hips, as his ass dipped lower to the ground, his body rolled, and his back arched erotically…

Hoseok licked his lips and his hand moved to his pants where blood was starting to accumulate in his crotch, as the vision of Jimin in the hazy heat of the club solidified in his head. 

Every single eye in the club would be on him, watching as he became more bold, more tempting under all the attention, lost in the pounding bass and the fuzz of the cocktails and the heat coming off the sea of bodies. 

Then hours later, Hoseok would have brought him back here--to Hope World again, maybe...both of them a little tipsy and absolutely ravenous from the extended visual foreplay.

Hoseok pulled his cock, heavy and stiff, out of his pants and gripped it firmly. 

Their hands would drag against each other’s skin traveling everywhere--up each other’s shirts, across each other’s thighs, down each other’s pants…

Hoseok sighed as he pulled another long stroke.

Then finally, finally Hoseok would get a better look at what Jimin had under those leather pants. The tiny underwear he’d gotten a preview of yesterday, damp with sweat from dancing in the hot club. 

Hoseok bit his lip and his hand moved faster up and down his firm length, his precum providing a satisfying slide. 

He already knew that he was going to make Jimin leave the underwear on next time. He’d just pull them to the side and make Jimin hold them there while he fucked him, hard thrusts, deep thrusts…

Hoseok flicked at the sensitive spot just below his head, his breath catching as he felt the ball in his stomach building. He clenched his eyes shut tighter, hearing Jimin’s erotic, desperate cries as if they were real, as if he was below him, as if Hoseok was in him. 

Hoseok released into his hand, jets of hot cum dripping over his fist as he pumped himself through his orgasm and worked to steady his breath.

He relaxed back into the pillow and sighed. He gulped as he let his dirty hand fall away from himself, his breathing picking up again as his anxiety grew. When did this become something he just did? Jerking off to his dongsaeng? When did this become something he didn’t even stop to think about? 

He jumped up quickly, feeling angry tears starting to well, and rushed to the bathroom to wash his hands off. As he scrubbed them vigorously watching his ill-gotten semen run into the sink and down the drain, he thought about how normal it was becoming for him to see Jimin as someone he was sexually attracted to as a default. But it was just as normal as it had ever been to see him as his dongsaeng too. 

Since the beginning of this whole mess, he’d felt like he was wearing glasses with two different prescription lenses. Depending on which lens was his focus he would see either Jimin or Jiminie--but both images were always there and they were always in tension. The pull of both of them against each other made his head hurt and his stomach heave. But all of the sudden the prescriptions seemed to be getting closer to aligning and showing him one image that was some beautiful combination of the two. 

But he didn’t want to see that image . He didn’t want them to become one. For too many reasons. He didn’t want to lose Jiminie--because that’s what would happen. Jimin would devour him and the sweet, adorable, mischievous dongsaeng that he’d taken care of since he was just a kid would disappear. And he loved him too much to let that go. 

Also...if he let the two merge it would become too easy--easier than he deserved--to feel good with him. 

“Aaghhh,” Hoseok growled out loud. He was still horny and now he was angry and sad too. It’s not like he wasn’t used to it at this point. But it was still frustrating. And he had nothing to distract him from it either. This was going to be a long night…

 

***

The club was a high end, exclusive place just outside of the city where the people were beautiful and the drinks were strong and the music was loud. Normally going out was impossible for Bangtan but this club was a little miracle. It existed in a bubble populated entirely by foreigners who didn’t seem to know or care anything about idols--or at least they had the decency to pretend they didn’t. The boys had gone several times over the years and had never had an incident. They were probably too comfortable there--but they had to have somewhere they could let their hair down.

The staff had called ahead and got them a private table. The staff always did that but the boys seldom used it. Namjoon and Yoongi preferred sitting at the bar. Joon said it felt more human though he never bothered to elaborate on that, and Yoongi just didn’t like to have to wait for his alcohol. Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin never left the dance floor except for refills and Tae and Kook were always up to some shenanigans, coming up with little competitions or silly games that they honestly could have been doing at home instead. Today was no different. As soon as they set foot into the bar and got their drinks, Joon snagged a seat at the bar, Jimin made his way to the dance floor and Tae and Kook joined him but only so they could challenge each other to a who-can-not-dance-the-longest contest. (Jungkook won but only because Jimin begged Tae not to make him dance alone.) 

A couple of songs in, Jimin was still putting off his mission. He’d avoided looking around too much, telling himself he needed to get in the zone first. Part of him knew that he was bullshitting himself. Jimin was a huge flirt and he always had his eyes on someone. But whomever he wrangled he wasn’t just going to have a couple of dirty dances with--he was going to have sex with him in the bathroom to prove to himself that Hoseok wasn’t so special. So there was a little more pressure this time. Jimin had never done anything like this. It wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to. But stupid Hoseok and his own stupid naivety had left him no other choice. He needed to know that that tingly, warm, overwhelmingly desperate feeling he got when he was with his hyung was purely physical and didn’t mean anything more than that he knew a great orgasm was on the way.

When Jimin finally got around to looking for a mark, he still kept finding excuses not to pull the trigger. The model in the tight black t-shirt had lop-sided traps so he wouldn’t do. The red-head with the pretty smile was a terrible dancer so he probably wasn’t great at other things either. He thought about going to talk to the guy across the dance floor with the nice butt but he was so far and the song was almost over anyway.  

Maybe it didn’t have to happen tonight. Now that he was here, it was almost too easy to convince himself that his breakdown earlier was an overreaction. That he was imagining the hearts and the butterflies. Just because he got a little fuzzy-headed when Hoseok called him “baby,” and spent a not insignificant amount of time wondering how his long, slender fingers would feel notched in between his own the next time they sat next to each other in a car, didn’t mean he was in love. 

Maybe he could deal with this little crisis some other way. Maybe he could take a break from having sex with Hoseok and let the feeling fade a little. Fuck no, he wasn’t quitting sex with Hoseok. But maybe he could do a better job of keeping his emotional side in check. Maybe Hoseok had the right idea and he needed to be better about separating Hoseok from the sex. But the problem with that was that he was incredibly attracted to who Hoseok was as a person and, yes, Hoseok was hot as fuck just on the surface, but his personality and their relationship enhanced that infintely. Jimin wasn’t really ready to sacrifice that if there was another way. This was the other way. But it could wait another week. He could always come back next weekend. Or the weekend after that. It didn’t have to happen tonight. 

Three, maybe four songs later Jimin was still dancing, his plan all but abandoned when he became aware of a presence behind him. He felt the heat of his body first and then he smelled his cologne--it was strong, but nice. “May I?” The husky voice was low next to his ear. He asked first. That was a nice surprise . Jimin looked over at Tae, who was across from him and already eyeing the figure behind him. He caught Jimin’s eye and gave him a nod, a sign Jimin knew meant this guy was age appropriate, good-looking, and didn’t give off an immediately creepy vibe. His stomach clenched up a little but he took a deep breath and told himself to relax. If he danced with this guy, it didn’t mean it had to go any further. He could make that call later. So he backed up a little until his back hit the hard chest behind him and he settled himself in his lap. A big hand slid its way around his hip, gently pressing him back further and Jimin felt a tingle of arousal at the touch. That was a good sign, right? 

He closed his eyes and let himself move with his mystery partner to the music. They danced for a couple of songs, enough to know that the guy was a good dancer. At least, he had control over his hips--which was mostly all you needed for this type of dance. He and Hoseok could have probably done it better but this guy was keeping on rhythm and leading Jimin well. Hoseok probably would have changed up the direction of his hips a little--instead of just swaying back and forth he would have led Jimin in a whole sensual tango. His hand probably would have been a little more commanding too. Now that he knew how much Jimin liked to be commanded, he probably would have whispered all sorts of naughty instructions in his ear from behind him. He would have asked him if he could feel how hard he was making him as Jimin pushed back against him. Maybe they would have danced face to face, Hoseok’s hand on his ass, grinding into each other, making out right here in the middle of the dance floor with everyone watching... no . Stop . This is the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing. He grabbed the hand that had been pressed against his pelvis and pulled him through the crowded dance floor to the bar. It was too hot. He was too hot.  

“Vodka soda,” he said, as soon as the bartender was in sight. He turned to his anonymous dance partner. “Do you--” Oh shit. He was gorgeous. Tall. Very tall. Maybe a little taller than Namjoon. Dark skin that looked so silky and contrasted against the bright green of his eyes. He was muscular. Not in the lean way that Hoseok was--in the wide way that Hollywood superheroes were. He had a charming smile too--full lips dusky pink, teeth blindingly white. He looked like he had an easy, confident energy to him. He was very attractive. When he opened his mouth to call to the bartender “make it two, my tab.” his voice was deep and a little musical. “Hey beautiful,” he said, his eyes traveling down Jimin’s frame slowly before grinning at him with a wide smile. “You are probably the best looking thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.” 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Jimin said, a little breathless.

Green Eyes leaned himself against the bar and grabbed the drinks the bartender brought them, handing one to Jimin. He took a drink, “You scared me for a second...”

“Did I?” he asked, casually. Jimin’s heart was thumping, feeling the terror of what his fantasy about Hoseok on the dance floor meant and what it was driving him to do with this beautiful stranger. But he was determined to play it cool.

He nodded, “You really picked up the...intensity...at the end there and then you just bolted. I was a little worried I scared you…”

“Scared me?”

Green Eyes chuckled and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, “yeah, because I...got a little hard from all the very impressive work your hips were doing.”

Jimin’s whole face flared pink and he took a huge swig of his cocktail to try to cover it. “Sorry,” he said, trying to sound more flirty than embarrassed, “I guess I just really like that song.” 

Green Eyes held Jimin’s gaze. “Is that all you like?”

Jimin shook his head coyly--doing all the right things to reel this guy in and banking on meaning it later. Jimin downed the rest of his vodka soda in one gulp. “Want to go somewhere with a little more privacy?” his voice was surprisingly steady given the fear he felt coursing through him.

Green Eyes looked surprised. But he stared at Jimin long enough to believe he meant it and then he finished his drink in a gulp too. He grabbed Jimin’s hand, “Lead the way, beautiful,” he said, standing up. 

Jimin turned around and started to pull him but he stopped when he heard Green Eyes shout behind him. 

“Hey!” his voice was angry and Jimin thought it was directed at him for a moment. But he was looking at the muscley guy with the sunglasses who had stood up to follow them. 

Jimin grabbed Green Eyes’ big arm. “It’s okay,” he said, “he’s with me.” 

He looked confused for a moment until he connected and Jimin felt him relax a little under his grip. “Oh, like a detail? Are you famous or something?” 

“Just rich with overprotective parents.” It was a lie Jimin told seamlessly now. “He won’t bother us. Come on.”

He pulled the handsome stranger through the club with him into a hallway toward the back. It was dimly lit but pretty clean looking. They walked past the doors that led to the kitchen and the bathrooms and turned a corner that led to an exit. It was a small nook with even less light than the hallway, the exit sign bathing everything in a tawdry red glow, but it would suit his purpose fine. 

Jimin turned around and grabbed Green Eyes by the collar, pulling him toward him until his body was pinned between his muscular chest and the cold wall. 

Jimin felt his nerves already starting to get the better of him and he was in a hurry to make this happen before he got cold feet. Luckily, tall, dark and handsome seemed to be of the same mindset. His mouth crashed against Jimin’s, harsh and strong. His lips were so full, Jimin’s plump lips seemed almost small as they moved against them. His knee hit the wall between Jimin’s and his thick thigh pressed against Jimin’s crotch. One of his hands landed on Jimin’s hip, his thumb grazing the skin under his thin shirt while the other hand held Jimin’s face tilted up to him. 

Okay, this is happening. I’m doing this. And it feels...fine. The kiss was fine. It wasn’t awkward and the pressure was comfortable. Perfectly inoffensive. But...the timing was a bit off. They couldn’t seem to find a rhythm. It was like when you walk into someone in a hallway and you try to get around them but you just end up dancing in front of each other because you don’t know which way they’re going to go. It occurred to Jimin that this must be natural. People probably normally have to learn each other’s habits and instincts. But he and Hobi didn’t. They just knew. From their first. And his mouth tasted fine. Like vodka and something vaguely fruity. It wasn’t offensive but it didn’t make Jimin want to explore every nook and cranny of his mouth with his tongue. Hobi’s mouth tastes like spearmint and those little apple candies he’s always sucking on. The guy’s hands on his hips felt nice, though. They were in the wrong place. Jimin thought about trying to subtly direct him but he realized he couldn’t exactly say what the right place was except that it was the place Hobi always put his hands

Stop thinking about Hobi.

Jimin moved his hands up around Green Eyes’ neck and pulled him harder against him, urging him to escalate their contact and press forward. He got the message and Jimin’s heart hammered as he felt his hands slide down to sink into the flesh of his ass. He used his grip to pull Jimin into him so that his member ground against his thigh. Jimin let out a startled gasp, but bore down and rolled his hips against the hard muscle again.

This feels good, right?   

Theoretically, it should. He loved having his ass kneaded like this. And this guy’s hands were so big and strong, they each basically covered his whole cheek. Jimin thought about the kind of spanking he could give. He’d probably be fucking great at it. Except...maybe his hands were too big. They were rough, calloused. Too much strength. And his fingers were thick like the rest of him. Hobi’s fingers were long and thin. So pretty. And when he hit him, it was just the right amount of pain. And...there was a tenderness too…

Jimin growled, frustrated into Green Eyes’ mouth. He grabbed ahold of his hips and thrust against him, encouraging him to grind harder. Jimin was only slightly stiff right now which didn’t make any sense. How many times had Hobi told him how easy he was to turn on? There was no reason why this guy’s giant, beautiful, trunk of a thigh that he was humping against like a dog in heat wasn’t doing anything for him. 

And on top of everything, there was this strange feeling in Jimin’s gut. He hoped it was just an unfamiliar sort of arousal. It was definitely growing as he pushed harder into this guy. But the stronger it got, the less identifiable it became. It was something that made him feel like he was going to cry. That definitely wasn’t supposed to be there. Maybe it was. Jimin clenched his eyes shut and begged himself to consider that maybe this was right and Hoseok was wrong. Maybe this is what it felt like when it wasn’t shameful and secret and dangerous. 

But it didn’t feel like that. This didn’t feel good. This didn’t feel right. 

Hobi felt right.

Jimin let out a sob and raised his hands to Green Eyes’ chest. “Stop, stop,” he said, against full, wet lips. And to his credit, he did stop. He pulled back, breathless, his eyebrows stitched together in concern. 

“Are you alright?” he panted.

Jimin nodded, “Fine, I’m fine. I’m sorry. I just...I can’t.”

Green Eyes dropped his hand from Jimin’s hip and stepped back. Now that there was space between them, Jimin noticed the absence of his pipe against him and he felt bad when he realized how hard he’d made him with his aggressive grinding.

Green Eyes swallowed and chuckled, weakly. “All of the sudden?”  

Jimin looked up at him apologetically, “I thought...but...this just isn’t...what I want…” he trailed off and dropped his gaze.

Green Eyes raised his hand to Jimin’s face and caressed his jaw. He narrowed his eyes seductively and a playful smile crossed his lips. “Tell me what you want, beautiful. I’m very versatile.”

Jimin laughed at the line and Green Eyes joined along with him. 

“You have the prettiest smile,” he said, adoringly. 

Jimin looked back up at him. It was a testament to this guy’s obviously good character that despite the size difference and the vulnerable position Jimin was in, he didn’t feel scared or intimidated at all. He stared at him again, willing himself to want him even a little. But he felt his gut clench again and sighed. “And you’re very sweet. And charming. And so so hot.” He dropped his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, “But I don’t think you can be what I want.”

“Ah,” he heard him say. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, “You mean who you want…” he chuckled and shook his head, his eyes traveling up and down Jimin’s body. “Lucky guy…” he said.

Jimin blushed and bit his lip but didn’t say anything.

“Agh,” Green Eyes groaned. “You know you’ve entirely ruined my evening,” he teased. He gestured dramatically in the direction of the dancefloor. “How am I supposed to be satisfied with anyone else tonight, after you?” He looked back at Jimin, an almost sheepish expression on his face, “Unless...the guy you were dancing with…?”

Jimin smiled, “He’s straight. Sorry…”

Green Eyes clicked his tongue. “Bummer. Well…” he took one more step back and extended his hand, offering Jimin a warm smile, and Jimin took it, his small hand engulfed entirely in his palm. “It was nice meeting you, Beautiful,” he said. “Good luck with your guy.” He dropped his hand and gave him a small wave and a last regretful look before disappearing around the corner. 

Jimin slid down the wall to the floor and let his head fall between his knees, his stomach sinking along with him. That guy was perfect. He was kind and gorgeous and he seemed smart and funny. Even if he turned out not to be boyfriend material, he was certainly absolutely one-night stand worthy. But Jimin felt nothing. Not even a tingle. Not a single spark or beat of a butterfly wing. Nothing. Nothing but all the ways that he wasn’t right because he wasn’t Hobi . Jimin felt a tear fall from his cheek onto the floor and then a second follow that. He pulled his knees into himself and tried to hold in his sobs as his chest tightened and burned. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, though he was vaguely aware of his security detail peeking around the corner every couple of minutes to check on him, but he never got to the point where his chest felt any lighter or his stomach felt settled. There was only one way he was going to feel any better tonight--and his tab was open and waiting for him. 

He marched back out into the club. He spotted Tae and Joon dancing on the dancefloor. The alcohol must have hit because their movements were wide and clumsy but they both looked dead serious about pulling them off. He found Jungkook sitting at the bar and he moved swiftly to him, throwing himself into the bar stool. He grabbed the glass of dark liquid in front of Jungkook and slammed it back, surprised at how easy it went down until the aftertaste hit. He narrowed his eyes at him. “Coke? Really, Kookie?”

Jungkook just shrugged as Jimin ordered three double vodkas. Jimin slid one to Jungkook who would nurse it all night but he downed both of his before the bartender had a chance to move on to another customer. He ordered a vodka soda next-- “make it a double”--and took that one a little slower. 

He and Jungkook didn’t talk. They just sat in silence and drank. Which is how Jimin preferred it. He didn’t want to talk because the only thing on his mind was something he definitely couldn’t share and was in fact something he’d rather just forget.

He was screwed. He’d found the perfect second. Perfect. Someone who could have easily made him forget a silly crush or a stupid fantasy. But he didn’t want him. He couldn’t even pretend because it made him feel so horrible and backward and topsy-turvy. And there was only one conclusion he could draw from all of that that made any sense. Hoseok wasn’t a silly crush or a stupid fantasy. He took another long swig of his vodka soda and put his head on the sticky bar. I’m in love with Hobi. Fuck.   

 

***

Hoseok awoke to the sound of violent pounding on his door. “THUMP THUMP THUMP.” It was so loud. And it was so dark. It was definitely still night time. He grabbed his phone from his night stand and the light blinded him as it came on. He blinked until the time became clear. 2:36. He looked over at the empty bed next to him and realized that Kookie must be drunk and unable to figure out his key. 

The pounding on the door hadn’t ceased and he groaned as he rolled out of bed and clicked on the lamp next to him. He shuffled to the door and reminded himself not to get too irritated. He could yell at Kook in the morning, right now he had to get him water and tuck him in.

He pulled open the door and a hard body fell against him. Hoseok just barely managed to catch the blonde figure and keep them both from hitting the floor. 

“Jimin?” Hoseok said, helping him to his feet. 

“Hyuuuuung,” Jimin whined. “Hobi, I’m sorry!”

Hoseok pulled Jimin over to his bed and sat him down. He turned to run to the bathroom, intending to grab Jimin a glass of water but the younger grabbed his shirt before he got too far and pulled him back.

“No,” he whispered, his big, unfocused eyes shimmering with tears as they looked up at Hoseok. “Stay with me.”

Hoseok moved back to him immediately and sat on the bed beside him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Jimin smelled heavily of vodka. He was really drunk. Jimin normally held his alcohol very well so Hoseok could only imagine what it must have taken to get him here. Why hadn’t anyone been looking out for him? And where were they now? Jimin never should have been left alone like this. He felt angry and was kicking himself for not being there. He should have texted Joon and Tae at least to check in on him. “Jimin,” he said, gently, “I need to get you some water.” 

Jimin’s grip around him only tightened. “No. I need to apologize.”

“What are you talking about, Jimin?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I said you couldn’t come with us.” He sobbed into Hoseok’s chest.

The elder winced. Part of him had tried to convince himself that Jimin hadn’t intentionally said he couldn’t come. He hadn’t actually said it in so many words. Hoseok had been trying to tell himself that he’d inadvertently uninvited himself by claiming to have plans with Yoongi. But Jimin had just confirmed that he’d meant to exclude him. And that sucked.

“I just--I needed to see…” 

Hoseok could barely understand him. Jimin was slurring his words together and they were muffled by his shirt. So he just ran his fingers through Jimin’s hair reassuringly. “Shhhh, it’s okay, baby,” he cooed. “It’s fine. We don’t have to do everything together. I had a good time too.” He was glad Jimin probably wasn’t coherent enough to connect that he’d accidentally called him ‘baby.’ That was a rather intimate nickname for this particular context. 

“No…” Jimin sobbed harder, “You don’t understand...I didn’t want---I had to…”

The door of their room swung open and it was Jungkook. “Oh!” he said. “Good, Jiminie-hyung’s here.” 

Hoseok glared at him, “Yeah, he’s here. Where were you guys? He’s wasted. Why was he alone?” 

Jungkook flushed. He did look apologetic and worried. “Tae’s drunker,” he explained. Tae didn’t drink a lot but he was definitely not as good at holding his liquor as the rest of them. “Namjoon-hyung and I tried to wrangle them together but they’re a difficult pair and Namjoon said he thought he saw Jimin come in here so we tag-teamed getting Tae to bed.” He shut the door behind him. “Namjoon’s with him now...is he okay?” 

Hoseok looked down at Jimin who was silent against him except for some soft snoring sounds. He’d fallen asleep. And Hoseok hadn’t managed to get any water in him. He sighed. “I guess he’s going to take my bed tonight…” He pulled Jimin’s jacket down over his shoulders and off. “Help me with his boots, will you?” 

Hoseok laid Jimin in the bed and pulled off one boot while Jungkook took the other. He was about to ask Kook to take care of his leather pants because, frankly, he felt uncomfortable undressing an unconscious Jimin knowing he was going to come face to face with that tiny underwear in front of Kook but then he realized Jimin might have his plug in and he’d hate for Kook to be the one to find that. But they couldn’t just leave him in sweaty, leather pants all night. “Hey can you grab him a pair of sweats?”

As Jungkook dipped into the closet, Hoseok quickly pulled Jimin’s pants off and discreetly checked him. He wasn’t wearing it. Turns out Jimin wasn’t wearing anything under the pants. Which given how tight they were, Hoseok should have realized anyway. He slipped Jimin into the sweats Jungkook brought him and then pulled the blanket up over him, tucking him in. 

Jungkook was already in the shower and Hoseok took a moment to survey the boy passed out next to him. His make up was smeared and there were streaks on his face left from tears that had fallen. Some from just now--but some looked older. Hoseok wondered what had given him a reason to cry at the club.

He’d apologized for leaving him out and Hoseok could tell that he meant it, even though he’d been drunk. He wondered if Jimin hadn’t included him because he was afraid Hoseok had been getting too attached. That would be ironic. It didn’t matter, really. Jimin was sorry. Whatever the reason, he clearly felt bad about it. As long as he wasn’t mad, and as long as they were still friends at least a little, Hoseok didn’t need to know. 

He glanced back at the bathroom--the water was still going. Hoseok raised his hand to Jimin’s face and pushed his hair back off of his forehead. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on it. He was glad he was home and safe and at peace now, whatever his earlier turmoil had been about. He was even more glad that he’d been the one to get to make sure he was. He liked taking care of him.

Hoseok got up and grabbed a small throw off of the couch, before laying down next to Jimin on his bed, his back toward him. He was hyper aware of the strangeness that suddenly came with sharing a bed with Jimin when Jungkook was in the room too. He didn’t want to be too close or too comfortable so he laid on top of the comforter Jimin was under and curled up under the throw from the couch. He wondered what kind of Jimin he’d wake up to in the morning. He’d be awkward and apologetic. Probably hungover. But definitely adorable. Hoseok smiled at the thought and clicked off his lamp.

Chapter Text

Jimin couldn’t remember a more awkward wake up. The morning after he and Hoseok first hooked up was probably close--but at least Hoseok had been asleep for most of it and Jimin was able to make a quick exit. But this morning, Jimin woke up in different pants, in Hoseok’s bed, with Jungkook standing over him and he’d nearly wet himself in panic and confusion. 

Did I sleep with Hoseok last night and Jungkook caught us?! Did I sleep with Jungkook thinking he was Hoseok and Hoseok caught us?! Did we all...sleep...together?? 

It turned out the truth was much less horrifying and much less interesting. But those first thirty seconds of awkward stuttering and confused blushing passing back and forth between Jimin and Jungkook were unbearable. Luckily, Hoseok had smoothly diffused the situation by calmly and casually walking into the room from the bathroom and asking Jimin if he slept it off okay. “I hope you don’t mind, I took the part of the bed you didn’t pass out on.” 

Then it all came crashing back to him. Not because of Hoseok’s words, but because of the romantic “sha la las” that suddenly blared in his head as the freshly showered angel glided into the room in slow motion with a halo of light emanating from him. Sure, the romantic theatrics were all in his head but it was enough to remind him that he was in love with the man and worse, that his drunk ass had come here to tell him last night. I wish it was as simple and harmless as a threesome with our maknae...

Jimin recovered just enough to thank the roommates for taking care of him and hustle back to his own room, still blushing and stuttering but at least reassured that he hadn’t done anything too terrible. 

He almost had though. Thanks to his aggressive inebriation, his vodka-soaked brain had almost ruined everything. Thank god he’d done everyone a favor and passed out before he could tell Hoseok he was in love with him.

Because as much as it was undeniably true, Jimin knew he would have to take that with him to the grave. If Hoseok got wind of Jimin’s feelings, he would call everything off in a heartbeat.  Hoseok would probably do the same thing Jimin had done to himself and try to convince him that it wasn’t real. That he didn’t know what he was talking about and he only thought he was in love. And when Jimin insisted it was real, Hoseok would be even more adamant about breaking it off. He’d say it wasn’t fair to keep something up that meant more to him than it did to Hoseok. That Jimin’s feelings made everything more complicated and dangerous and ending it now was the only way to cut their losses before everything fell apart and took Bangtan down with it. He’d promise it was for the best. 

And if Jimin wasn’t in love with him, he would probably think it was for the best too. If they had talked about this scenario out loud before, back when neither of them thought it was worth bringing up because it was awkward and of course it would never happen to them, Jimin might have agreed to that term. He would have thought, ‘of course if Hoseok falls in love we should end this because I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want this to be that complicated.’ 

But Hoseok hadn’t fallen. He had. And it was too late for that now because he didn’t care if him being in love made things more complicated or meant that he was going to be absolutely destroyed by carrying on as if nothing had changed. Jimin was fine with being hurt if it meant he could still be with Hobi. 

Surely no matter how difficult and painful it got to love someone who didn’t love him back, it would still be better than the alternative. At least he still got to kiss Hobi and be kissed by him and touch him and be touched by him. At least he still got to hear him call him baby with that affectionate coo of his and tell him how gorgeous he was as his hands traveled intimately over his bare skin. Jimin pictured Hoseok laying beside him on his bed, naked, smiling his sunshine smile, a twinkly smolder in his eyes directed at him and only him. He would never give that up if he had any choice in the matter. Never.  

And maybe it wasn’t fair to Hoseok--letting him go on with it all not knowing what it meant. Hoseok would be devastated to learn that every time he embraced him from now on, Jimin would shatter into a hundred pieces. Jimin knew it was selfish to lie to him. But wasn’t it just as selfish to tell him? To impose even more guilt and regret on Hoseok than he was already dealing with? Jimin knew that Hoseok would blame himself. He blamed himself for all of this. Despite Jimin being the one who went to Hoseok first, the one to beg him to make it more than a one time thing, the one to fall in love--Hoseok would put it all on his own shoulders, carry it around in his conscience, and punish himself for his perceived failure to be a good hyung. 

Nothing about this situation was fair. Jimin having to keep his feelings to himself wasn’t fair. Hoseok sleeping with someone who wasn’t being honest with him wasn’t fair. Injecting this emotional turmoil into the heart of Bangtan wasn’t fair. None of it was fair to anyone. But fair wasn’t Jimin’s priority. 

Being with Hoseok was. In whatever way he could.

So he would keep his mouth shut. He would suffer in silence and let Hoseok continue to unintentionally inflict devastation upon him and try to forget that, thanks to him, this whole thing had just escalated so far out of their control.

***

Jimin thought he was prepared for how much harder everything would be now. Laying in bed at night, restless and anxious for the umpteenth time, he had gone over all the unique types of pain he could imagine being faced with now. Rejection was a given. Every second he was with Hoseok and his romantic affection wasn’t reciprocated was rejection. Which of course would only fuel his insecurity. Why didn’t Hoseok love him? How could he look at him the way he did and not feel anything? There would be fear of course, of Hoseok finding out, of not being able to resist telling him. And jealousy, too. Jimin had always been prone to jealousy--a symptom of his star sign--and he’d already experienced it with Blue-Hair before he was willing to see it for what it was. It would only get worse as this got deeper. 

Nothing about their relationship had really hurt him since those first few days. There had been moments--flashes of fear or jealousy--but nothing that gnawed at him or ever managed to settle in. Hoseok had struggled throughout--but Jimin really hadn’t. Now it was his turn. Maybe it was karma. He’d dragged Hoseok into this, ignoring the suffering it caused him, and this was his cosmic punishment--unrequited love. It’s what he probably deserved. But that didn’t make it any easier to stomach. 

Still, as the weeks went on and Jimin fell deeper and deeper, he found ways to feel around the icky stuff--most of the time. The angst sort of became background noise, drowned out by all of the wonderful things he was feeling. 

Because as much as he had prepared himself for the pain, he hadn't contemplated just how much better everything would feel too. It almost felt unfair that he got to enjoy this more. There was no feeling in the world like love, he decided. Nothing as powerful and all-encompassing, and spirit-altering. It felt cliche to even think but the whole world suddenly looked different to him. Brighter. Fuller. Warmer. His stomach was permanently lifted high into his throat by the constant fluttering of butterflies and it tasted sweet--like bubblegum. He felt light and untethered like he was floating among the clouds, the sunshine that was his hyung making him glow through every pore. He felt dopey and full of youthful wonder all the time and he wore that feeling on his lips where a small smile was permanently etched beneath his starry eyes. And that feeling was always there even with the bitterness of the pain underneath it. It was rare that the pain became enough to blot out the immense good. It happened mostly at night, right before sleep took him. When he’d think about his Hobi and the way he felt in his arms and what it would be like to go on a date with him and how it might feel to call him his boyfriend...and how that could never, ever happen.  

The back and forth between the two extreme emotions sometimes left Jimin breathless and frail. He’d cried so many times that he could hardly discern the euphoric tears from the tragic ones anymore. But it was so worth it. Every exhausting breakdown was forgettable when he was with Hobi. 

And he was with him so much more recently. Hoseok had relaxed his defenses considerably, allowing them to interact more platonically again. Jimin honestly wasn’t sure if he was genuinely feeling more comfortable with “Jiminie” or if he was just putting on a show, but either way, Jimin was grateful for the opportunity to engage with him in the daylight again. Still not alone. Never alone. Only in the presence of others. But maybe that was for the better given Jimin’s tendency to romanticize their every glance these days. He had a hard time separating his daydreams from reality sometimes so he’d been less bold and forward with Hoseok generally. It was too easy to let a little moment spiral into a delusion. So Jimin was being careful, too. 

With Hoseok’s increased ease and Jimin’s new self-imposed restraint, the pair fell into a comfortable rhythm which was satisfying enough even if it was a little empty, at least for Jimin’s taste. Meaningless quickies in Hope World, meaningless eye-fucking in the locker room, meaningless handjobs in bathroom stalls. When they got really lucky, an occasional hour or two to themselves in one of their rooms where they got to try out various toys from Hoseok’s box. It wasn’t all comfort though--In addition to Jimin’s own heartache, he discovered that Hoseok’s apparent “ease” was at least a little manufactured, too. He had gotten much better at hiding the fear and guilt but always, the day after a hook-up, he’d have heavy bags under his eyes from a restless night and he’d flinch when anyone on the team complimented his kindness or loyalty. He was still punishing himself. 

Functionally though, things were much easier. Hoseok took less time to slip into his dark alter-ego--sometimes it seemed almost instantaneous. Other times, Jimin had to step back and wait until he could see Hobi’s shoulders relax and his jaw unclench. He’d picked up a few tricks that helped speed it along--licking his lips, shifting his weight so his hips swayed a little, sliding his pants down just enough for the waistband of his underwear to peak out...it had to be subtle or it would have the opposite effect though. Hoseok couldn’t know it was intentional or he’d get uncomfortable again and they’d be back at square one. 

Jimin got to thinking that maybe he could live like this. He wanted more from what they had but if this was what it had to be like, it wasn’t terrible. It was hard and complicated and messy and distant but it had been worse-- so much worse --and Jimin was only grateful for the improvement. He was grateful for how easy it was to smile and laugh with his hyung, how close he felt to him when they were naked together. It wasn’t everything. But it was probably better than he had any right to hope for. So he could live with this. 

***

“Make sure you fill up, hyung. I’m not carrying you home again.” Jungkook was teasing but there was a serious edge to his tone. Taehyung had really worried him last time they went out. He knew it was rare for Tae to over-indulge and the odds of it happening again were slim but he took the chance to remind him anyway. 

Tae shoved another pile of noodles in his mouth and rolled his eyes, “Aish, for the last time, I’m sorry, Kookie.” 

“Don’t be sorry, be full.” Jungkook motioned to Tae’s tray and Tae loaded his chopsticks again, hurriedly. 

Jungkook, Tae, and Jimin had all filled their dinner trays extra high tonight to help stave off the effects of the alcohol they would partake in later that evening. Jin had been upset he missed the club last time and insisted everyone go again with him. But they all planned to make this outing much less eventful than their last. Jimin, in particular was looking forward to a much less stressful night. So they ate and ate, Jimin silently praying he could still fit into his pants when he was done.

Jimin looked up when he heard Jungkook call Hoseok over. He was carrying a tray too--not as full as all of theirs, but substantial all the same. He smiled at them, unaware of the way it made Jimin’s heart falter, and didn’t hesitate for a second before taking a seat at their table.

Jimin acknowledged that a few weeks ago, Hoseok might have avoided them altogether, feeling too awkward to sit with Jimin but he didn’t seem to give it a second thought today. Jimin smiled warmly at him, appreciating how comfortable this casual interaction felt. It was in moments like this he was able to fool himself into thinking nothing between them was complicated.

“How’s it going, kids?” Hoseok said, as he dug into his spicy pork. “You look like you’re all eating well…” He eyed the heavy trays, amused.

“We’re fortifying,” Taehyung said. “Against the evils of alcohol.” 

Jimin laughed and Hoseok couldn’t help but join in. He didn’t get the joke but Jimin’s laugh triggered this bubbly, delighted feeling that he was largely helpless to resist.

“Are you guys planning on some heavy drinking?” he asked. 

“We’re going to the club again tonight,” Tae said, talking not so gracefully around a mouthful of kimchi stew. “Jin and Yoongi are coming this time too!”

“Oh?” Hoseok tensed instantly against a rush of discomfort and angst, recalling the rejection he felt last time the maknaes-- Jimin --had gone to the club and left him behind. But you wouldn’t have known it if you weren’t looking for it. His voice was pleasant and curious. 

“Yeah, I know Jimin said you weren’t interested in joining us last time…”

Hoseok tasted metal in his mouth. Wow. Jimin hadn’t just not invited him--he’d lied to prevent anyone else inviting him. 

“But you should come this time…” Tae continued.

Hoseok glanced up at Jimin who was looking at him almost pleadingly. Don’t worry, Jimin. I got the message. Hoseok tried not to let it hurt him.

“Nah.” Hoseok said, still sounding remarkably aloof, only his clenched knuckles, white around his chopsticks hinting at his true feelings. “I have a lot of work to do actually. Thank you though,” he said. Then before he could stop himself, he added, “It’s nice to know I’m wanted.”

He didn’t look at Jimin, instead forcing a beam at Tae, but he saw Jimin sink lower in his seat in his periphery. He felt bad for making Jimin feel bad...but it was kind of fair, wasn’t it? 

Hoseok rushed through his dinner, trying to seem politely interested as Tae explained in detail the look he’d already picked out for tonight (an oversized suit that was dated but that he would still look like a god in). Jimin didn’t say another word through the whole meal and Hoseok couldn’t bring himself to look at him either. If it wasn’t for the fact that he could feel the tension coming off of him, he might have assumed he’d left. But he hadn’t so as soon as Hoseok had cleaned his plate, he didn’t linger, bidding a quick farewell to his dongsaengs before heading back to his room, his metaphorical tail between his legs.

His ego was wounded and his evening had just become painfully open. Everyone was going to the club again. Everyone except him. Because the kid who had been one of his closest friends for years felt too uncomfortable being in that sort of environment with him because of their inappropriate relationship. He didn’t blame Jimin. He’d brought this on himself really. Because he couldn’t stay in the lines. Because he couldn’t be a good hyung. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard light footfalls behind him. He’d recognize that delicate, graceful gait anywhere.

“Hyung,” Jimin called from a few steps back, and Hoseok slowed and fixed his face into a nonchalant, unbothered smile. 

“Hey Jimin,” he said, turning his head to acknowledge him but continuing to walk.

That wasn’t good enough for Jimin though so he grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. “I’m sorry, Hoseok.” 

Hoseok pulled his eyebrows together and smiled as if he didn’t understand the guilt on Jimin’s face. 

“I know we never talked about it...about the club...about...what I did to you.” He bit his lip to stop it quivering. 

Hoseok wanted to be mad--it still really hurt that Jimin had actively excluded him--but the way Jimin’s face scrunched in an effort to fight off tears made him feel awful. It was worse than his own distress and he couldn’t stand to witness it, let alone be the cause of it.

“We don’t have to talk about it, Jimin.” Hoseok said, reassuringly. “It’s not a big deal and really, I get it.” He hoped he sounded genuine.

“You don’t--I just couldn’t--”

“I know, Jimin. And I was fine, Yoongi and I had a great time.” 

Jimin knew Yoongi was with Jin that night. He knew Hoseok was alone and lying about it. For his sake. To make him feel better about excluding him. It didn’t.

“Really,” Hoseok shrugged, casting his eyes down, “don’t worry about it. It was for the best.” 

Jimin looked up at him, “Was it?” he asked, wondering how on earth Hoseok could have found a silver lining in what he’d done. Jimin couldn’t think of one good thing that came from that night. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok chuckled, but it was heavy with something sad. “It would have been a very bad idea to watch you dance in those pants all night.” He tilted his head at the memory again, recalling the sinful leather bottoms he had to peel off of him. He looked up to see Jimin blushing and navigated quickly away from the tense space they’d entered suddenly. “Anyway, Jimin, you guys go ahead. I’ll really be fine.”

Even as Hoseok said it though he silently prayed Jimin would ignore him. Invite me. Just ask me if I want to join. Please. He didn’t want to stay home alone again. He hated the idea of all of his friends having the time of their lives without him. He understood why, if they couldn’t both go, it should be him who sat out, but he wanted them to be able to make it work. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. I won’t even look.

But the invitation never came. At least Jimin had the decency to look sympathetic when he agreed to leave Hoseok behind. “If you’re sure, then.” he said. 

Hoseok swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. 

Jimin’s eyes lingered on him in a way he couldn’t quite read but before he had time to hope that Jimin was reconsidering, he was waving a small goodbye, “Have a good night then, hyung,” he said.

Hoseok’s smile fought the pull of his stomach as it sank. “You too, Jiminie. Be safe.” And he turned around and started walking again before he had to watch Jimin disappear.

Hoseok took the long way to his room, killing time and trying to walk off his sour mood. By the time he got to his door, he was less hurt and angry but he was still feeling quite sorry for himself. He took a long shower, staying under the warm water until his fingers started to prune, and then did a small work out on the floor next to his bed. He sat up and checked his watch. 8:54. Ugh. Still so early. The boys should have left by now, though. Yoongi had texted to ask if he was coming and Namjoon had offered to stay in with him but Hoseok had insisted they both go on without him. But he really would have given anything for a distraction at this point. It was going to be another long night. 

He could work on his mixtape, he guessed. But he wasn’t feeling mentally in the right space to create. He could practice. Go dance by his lonesome in the big, empty studio. But he didn’t particularly feel like dancing by himself while all of his best friends were drinking and dancing together. Maybe he could just drink. Get wasted and watch cartoons all night. No. Not cartoons. 

He got to his feet determined and walked over to the bar cart in the corner of his room, pouring himself a double shot of whichever rich brown liquid his hand found first. It was a strong, dark rum. Not his favorite. He wasn’t even sure why he had it. But it was effective, the cloyingly sweet serum immediately warming his chest. Then he grabbed his laptop off of his desk and brought it to his bed. 

He navigated to a seedy page--the kind of page that was always gross until it was hot. He shifted on his stomach, leaning closer to the computer. His eyes scanned through the pornographic thumbnails on the screen, examining the actors and pausing whenever he saw something--someone--that appealed to him. Someone petite, but strong. Blonde. With a round but still somehow angular face. And an unworldly ass. He didn’t feel good about it but he couldn’t deny that it worked so much better for him than anything else now. And it wasn’t technically Jimin so maybe it was a little less horrible than the alternative. 

He found something that would do. A small, attractive blonde--he started the scene bound and blindfolded so if Hoseok squinted and avoided looking at his face, he could pass. Hoseok leaned back against his pillows and put his hand down his sweats, not rubbing himself but laying his palm on his soft shaft. He had plenty of time to kill so he might as well draw this out a little.

But he hadn’t gotten anywhere at all when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Hoseok’s head jerked up in confusion and surprise. Who on earth…? The staff rarely bothered them in their dorms and the boys had left nearly an hour ago. 

The knock came again and Hoseok closed his laptop and crawled off the bed, making his way to the door. 

He opened it and it was the original, exquisite, and absolutely un-recreatable version of the knock off he was about to jerk off to. And he was wearing his thin white t-shirt and those cursed leather pants. 

“Jimin,” he breathed. He cleared his throat, hoping to make his voice sound less surprised and more in control. “I thought--didn’t you guys leave like an hour ago?”

They left.” Jimin said. His eyes burned into Hoseok’s and they were mischievous and flirtatious but dark and deep in a way Hoseok hadn’t seen before. “I kind of wanted to find out what would happen if you watched me dance in these pants all night…”

Hoseok’s mouth went dry as it turned up immediately into a wicked smirk. Demon. He felt his cock shock to life. So much for drawing things out. But he acknowledged that underneath the heat and desire he felt pooling low in his stomach, he felt something more tender. He was touched. Jimin stayed behind for him. Had that been his plan all along? Was it a last minute decision as he was walking out the door? 

Maybe it mattered, maybe it didn’t. Hoseok had more pressing things on his mind at the moment. 

He reached out and grabbed Jimin by the front of his shirt, pulling him in and shutting the door behind him. As soon as the door closed, Jimin’s back was against it, Hoseok’s hand still fisted into his shirt, pinning him in place.

“You’re going to dance for Oppa, baby?”

Jimin held his breath and shook his head, daringly. “I’m going to dance with you.” 

Hoseok swore his heart dropped out of his body. He pictured it for a second--not for the first time either. Jimin in his lap, pressed against him, rolling his hips sensually. He wanted that too. He leaned his head against the door over Jimin’s shoulder his breath hot against Jimin’s ear as he took one, two, three steadying breaths. Jimin was trembling beneath him. Then he pushed away, turning and moving into the room.. 

Jimin’s eyes followed him, his breath held high in his lungs, his body still flush against the wall where Hoseok had put him. He was suddenly afraid that he had been too forward and had broken too far out of the bounds of his role. But then Hoseok grabbed his phone and seconds later a song played through his Bluetooth speakers. Hoseok turned his head to face him and Jimin swallowed hard as fireworks exploded in his stomach, lighting every inch of him up, ignited by the embers smoldering in Hoseok’s eyes. 

Hoseok walked to the lightswitch next and flipped it off so the only light in the room was coming from his small bedside table. Jimin felt his heart thudding as Hoseok lifted his hand and beckoned him over with his long finger. 

Jimin stumbled to him, adrenaline making his motions strong and sporadic. He was excited this was happening but he was surprised. When he played this scenario through his head, he had only imagined this result once and then just fleetingly. As soon as Tae invited Hoseok and Hoseok declined obviously because of him, Jimin knew there was no way he was letting Hoseok stay home alone again tonight. When he chased him down in the hall, he’d planned on inviting him along and insisting it would be okay, even though he knew it wouldn’t. But then Hoseok had given him a better idea. They couldn’t dance together at the club--that was a bad idea as Hoseok had pointed out. But...they could dance here. In the privacy they would have if everyone else was out. That sounded much better than the two of them trying not to stare at each other across a crowded, hazy dance floor. 

But would Hoseok go for it? Dirty dancing together in a dark room screamed intimate. To Jimin at least. Maybe it didn’t to Hoseok. After all, Hoseok wasn’t the one in love. Jimin supposed even grabbing food at a food truck outside the building together would seem intimate to him at this point. Maybe to Hoseok it would just be hot. 

Hoseok held his hand up and Jimin stopped about six feet in front of him. He saw--but more viscerally felt Hoseok’s eyes tear him apart, moving over every inch of his body. There was a possessive glint and a hunger that bordered on feral in the dark brown orbs and Jimin swore he’d never felt so desirable. 

Hoseok’s thumb traveled across his own lip but Jimin’s tongue darted out as if he could somehow catch it. Then Hoseok’s hand moved to his hair where it pulled at the inky black strands that were still damp from his shower. His eyes fell on Jimin’s thighs. How many times had he pictured those thighs in these pants. The image of Jimin leaning against his door in these had featured in several of his dreams and also seemed to have earned an almost permanent place on the inside of his eyelids. But seeing them now, when he knew he got to touch them and slap them and pinch them and suck at them until they bruised was a holy experience. He moved close to Jimin in two quick, long strides and grasped the muscle under the leather, running his hands up and down the thick masses as he dug his fingers in harshly. 

Jimin moaned at the rough contact and Hoseok moved his hands around to Jimin’s ass, tight and still so squeezable even though the pants looked like they had no extra room for give in them. Hoseok slapped one of the leather-clad cheeks and groaned as the harsh snap of the contact echoed in the room. 

Hoseok needed his ass on him now. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Jimin’s and spoke into his open mouth. “Turn around.” His voice was filth already. Rough and deep with need. 

Jimin shivered and turned in place. Hoseok’s right hand found his hip immediately and pulled him back hard against him. 

Jimin gasped when he felt how hard Hoseok was already, his thick shaft making its presence known despite the layers of fabric between them. He felt Hoseok start to move his hips and Jimin finally heard the song that had been playing this whole time as Hoseok ground the rhythm against him. It was foreign. Slow and sultry. He might have heard it before but he didn’t recall the name or artist. It was perfect for a sensual dance, though. Hoseok could have picked an upbeat dance song but he didn’t. He picked something that begged them to touch each other. And that’s what they did.

One of Hoseok’s hands played with the hem of Jimin’s t-shirt, gently lifting the flimsy fabric and caressing the skin below it softly. His long fingers moved across his torso and splayed over his bare stomach, his pinky grazing the sensitive flesh right above his waistband maddeningly. Jimin pushed his ass back harder against Hoseok, aching to increase the friction, the tension, the contact--anything, his hips moving hypnotically of their own accord and taking Hoseok along for the ride. Hoseok’s lips were gliding along the back of Jimin’s neck, up into his hair, behind his ear, onto his shoulder where Hoseok had pulled the fabric aside to suck small marks into patches that were easily hidden. The pressure felt so good but it didn’t feel like enough. It would never feel like enough. Soft moans and whimpers were spilling from Jimin’s mouth with increasing frequency as his erection grew into the little free space his pants provided. He didn’t know what to do with his hands so they wandered aimlessly, alternating from laying over Hoseok’s hand on his stomach, to kneading into Hoseok’s thigh behind him, or even reaching up to wrap around Hoseok’s neck and pulling at the hair on his nape. But none of his actions were precise or intentional. He was too focused on what Hoseok was doing to him to keep track of his own ministrations. 

Hoseok’s touch felt so familiar to Jimin now but it was different now too. Ever since Jimin had acknowledged his feelings, everything felt so much more intense. Hoseok’s fingertips didn’t just make his skin tingle, they burned through him. Into his bones. Branding him. And his lips were disorienting. Jimin would still feel every place they had been days from now. Like Jimin’s whole body was a map of Hoseok’s pleasure. 

The song changed and Hoseok adjusted effortlessly to match the new beat. It was still a sexy song and Jimin may not have known this one either, but he could tell it was one of Hoseok’s favorites. Hoseok was humming along, singing words Jimin didn’t understand and Jimin melted against him. He had such a lovely voice and the low gravel in his tone made for an intoxicating serenade. It was hot. It was definitely hot. But on paper it felt so romantic and Jimin couldn’t help but lose himself in the fantasy that all of this meant something to Hoseok too--that the way he held him so tightly against him as he sang softly into his neck was about more than sex. Jimin tried to push the thought away. It was too easy to forget this wasn’t real. It felt so real. And even if it made it hurt more later, it felt so nice right now to pretend it was. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok stopped singing and stilled and Jimin whimpered at the command present in his voice again. “I want you to show Oppa how well you can use those hips…” His hand traveled to the button of Jimin’s pants and opened it with a flick of his thumb.

Jimin sucked in a sharp breath as Hoseok slowly pulled down his zipper and Jimin had to lean back against Hoseok’s chest for support. 

Hoseok’s wandering hands felt the hot flesh and he stopped sucking on Jimin’s neck enough to breath words against it, “My naughty slut didn’t wear any underwear tonight…”

Hoseok’s words ushered in a current of pleasure and fear. Underwear were impossible in these pants. Even the tiny ones. But Hoseok liked underwear so maybe Jimin should have done it anyway. Maybe the underwear were more important than the pants to Hoseok...he wished he’d thought of that. He’d tried to think of everything. 

But if Hoseok minded, he didn’t speak any more of it. He slid his hands down the side of Jimin’s legs, pushing the leather pants down. As he leaned to pull them all the way off, he ran his lips across the bare flesh of Jimin’s hip and thigh causing Jimin to shiver and sigh.

Hoseok stood and lifted Jimin’s shirt over his head as he did so that Jimin was naked in front of him. Jimin hadn’t worn underwear but he had prepped himself otherwise. Hoseok saw the base of the little black plug just barely peeking out from between Jimin’s plush cheeks. What a good boy. “Turn around,” he ordered. 

Jimin turned to face him and he was unprepared for how wrecked Hoseok looked already. Hair mussed from Jimin’s aimless fingers, face red from the heat of their bodies pressed together, an erection tenting the front of his dark sweats. Jimin felt power flood him knowing that he had this effect on someone like Hoseok. But from the way Hoseok was looking at him, he must look pretty wrecked himself.

Hoseok stepped into Jimin, notching his thigh between Jimin’s and pulling him onto it. Their chests were pressed together again and Hoseok’s head fell over Jimin’s shoulder as his hands dug into Jimin’s cheeks. He pulled the younger against him, encouraging him to grind into him and Jimin obliged finding a rhythm with him and the music instantly. Jimin moaned at the friction and dragged Hoseok’s face to his, crashing their lips together. Hoseok dominated the kiss quickly, stroking the inside of Jimin’s mouth with his tongue and scraping his teeth against Jimin’s lips with bruising force. Jimin was suddenly even more grateful for their position, Hoseok’s thigh between his legs and arm behind his back holding him up as the kiss threatened to level him.  

“Fuck Jimin,” Hoseok exhaled into their kiss, feeling a damp spot suddenly against him. “You’re such a messy slut.” 

Jimin looked down and saw his precum smeared across the front of Hoseok’s sweats.

Hoseok’s open mouth ran across Jimin’s neck hungrily, “Oppa makes you so wet, don’t I baby?”

Jimin nodded and ground harder against Hoseok. 

Hoseok ran his hand up Jimin’s back and into his hair pulling it back harshly, “How many times do I have to remind you to use your words? A little grinding and my slut goes stupid, I guess…”

Jimin moaned loudly, “I’m sorry, Oppa, yes!” Jimin rushed, “You make me so wet! I’m so wet for you!” The sex was great. It had been from the beginning. But ever since Hoseok had opened the door on the name calling and degrading dirty talk, it had been a whole new level of hot. Hoseok had seen right away how Jimin had responded to it and knew the kind of power the harsh words gave him over his pet and he’d taken full advantage of it. Hoseok was so good at the filthy banter. Jimin never wanted him to stop talking.  

Hoseok wrapped his arm around Jimin’s waist and walked them both toward the bed. When the back of Jimin’s knees hit the mattress, Jimin made to turn around so he could crawl on, but Hoseok spun them both around instead and fell backward onto the bed, pulling Jimin down on top of him. 

Jimin squealed in surprise but then giggled as he heard Hoseok do the same. His stomach exploded with a flurry of butterflies and he swooned as time slowed. Hoseok’s bright smile underneath him, his contagious laugh harmonizing with his own and filling the space between them so full of joy. One of his hands was pressed into Jimin’s bare lower back while the other held his wrist delicately against his chest, the contact making his skin hum with electricity. The closeness, the humor, the passion, the connection...Jimin knew in an instant this was the happiest he’d ever been and it wasn’t even close. He almost teared up with the intensity of the emotion.

But then Hoseok pulled himself out from under him and Jimin’s desire returned stronger than before as he watched the elder take his pants and briefs off and toss them aside. Hoseok scoot himself back further on the bed and pulled his shirt off too. “Get on,” he said, motioning to his bare lap. “You’re gonna ride me.” 

Jimin’s eyes widened. He’d never been on top but he’d imagined it dozens of times. Hoseok was always the one in charge of getting them both off and Jimin loved that. But he was excited at the prospect of pleasuring his Oppa in a more active way. He was determined to blow his mind. He scrambled up the bed and swung his leg over Hoseok, straddling him. Jimin reached behind him and gripped the end of his plug but before he could pull it out, Hoseok’s hand came down on his thigh. 

“Did I fucking tell you touch that?” he snapped, grabbing Jimin’s arm and pulling him down on top of him.

Jimin just barely caught himself, hovering on one hand just above Hoseok’s shoulder but before he could steady himself, he was pushed to the side so that he was still straddling the elder but his elbows were both on the same side of his torso.

Hoseok sat up as best he could and leaned over Jimin’s lower half, bringing his hands down onto Jimin’s ass. He slapped him with both palms firmly, kneading his cheeks after each blow and pulling them apart. His spanking went on for a minute or two, until Jimin could feel the sting painfully with each new spank and the rubbing in between did little to sooth it. 

“Your ass looks so pretty when it’s all red and covered in my handprints,” Hoseok praised, leaning down to tenderly kiss each cheek. 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin said. 

“You’re welcome, pet.” Hoseok murmured. “Now relax and stay still.” 

“Yes, Oppa.” Jimin braced himself and fought an instinctive tense as he felt the toy slide from his opening, exhaling heavily at the pleasure of the toy gliding against his rim. He was only empty for a second before he felt Hoseok’s fingers there, working him open a little further. Jimin had been very generous with the lube when he put his toy in and he could feel it squish around Hoseok’s fingers. Jimin whimpered, shifting his weight on his knees. The movement earned him a sharp pinch. 

“Ah, sorry, Oppa!” Jimin gasped and stilled.

Hoseok finally stopped his slow, torturous work and removed his fingers, taking a second to watch Jimin clench around the empty space. Hoseok leaned back on the bed again and gave Jimin another harsh slap. “Time to put your greedy hole to work, Jimin,” Hoseok said pulling him up. 

Jimin rushed into position, desperate to be filled again. His cock, which had been pinned between them was leaking and left a mess pooling on their stomachs. Jimin had never done this before but it seemed pretty self-explanatory from what he’d seen. “Oppa,” Jimin said, taking Hoseok’s cock in his hot little hand behind him. “May I please put your cock in my ass?”

Hoseok’s tongue swiped across his lower lip and he nodded quickly, “Yes, baby, sit on it.”

Jimin aligned Hoseok’s tip with his entrance and lowered himself slowly onto it, holding his breath but feeling his body spasm pleasantly as it slipped in. 

Hoseok was not as subtle. His jaw fell open and hung there as he watched the slow progress, his face contorting with each shift and slide of Jimin’s descent. His fingers grasped and pinched desperately at the flesh of Jimin’s hips. And when Jimin finally came to a stop with his ass pressed against Hoseok’s hilt, Hoseok’s head fell back onto the pillow and he let out a loud groan of relief.

Jimin stilled for a second, adjusting to the stretch and the depth. Hoseok always got so deep. Deep enough that Jimin sometimes felt like he could feel him in his belly. But in this position, he could tell Hoseok was further in him than he’d ever been. The deepest part of him lit up as it was brushed for the first time by Hoseok’s wet, bulbous tip and Jimin had to fight to keep his eyes from rolling back in the euphoria of this new sensation. He was still trying to grasp the feeling when he felt Hoseok rut up. 

“Jimin…” he croaked, “move.” His voice was raw and Jimin looked down to find him nearly mad with need. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been still but he was sure Hoseok had been as patient as he could be. 

Jimin lifted his hips, pulling his ass up Hoseok’s shaft, almost all the way off so that the ridge of Hoseok’s head passed his rim, before sliding back down again. Jimin was trying to balance his own need with consideration for Hoseok’s but it was hard. Jimin had always been indulgent and impatient. He wanted it all now and he could get it. He could ride faster and harder and get off in minutes with a smile on his face. But he wanted this to be the best Hoseok ever experienced. Which meant he had to put his own needs aside and focus on the man below him. Is this what Hoseok has to contend with every time? Jimin made a mental note to be more appreciative of his Oppa’s self-control.  

Jimin had been riding with long slow strokes for a few solid minutes and Hoseok was impressed with the stamina--and his restraint. Jimin was greedy--so greedy and he expected he’d have to do the restraining. That was meant to be part of the fun. He would make Jimin still or slow and then watch him whimper and beg for permission to continue riding. But Jimin had turned the tables whether he’d intended to or not and it was Hoseok who was fighting to keep himself from begging his pet to speed up. He should have known that Jimin would be a god at this. His strong thighs, graceful hips, playful energy--he was made to ride and Hoseok was tearing his bottom lip up trying to stifle his moans. He liked being vocal. But the sounds Jimin was pulling out of him weren’t exactly dignified or powerful. Hoseok was becoming entirely unraveled and it took all of his self-discipline to keep even the little bit of composure he was maintaining.

Jimin was in ecstasy too. This position took a lot of energy and stamina but it was still so worth it. He definitely preferred when he was the one being manhandled and hammered into but watching the man he loved shake with pleasure because of what he was doing to him was intoxicating. Another quiet but deep moan slipped out of Hoseok’s mouth and Jimin dipped down to catch it. He hungrily pulled Hoseok’s lips into his and engulfed them in a sloppy kiss. Hoseok did less kissing and more heavy panting into Jimin’s mouth and, as Jimin used his new leverage to slam himself harder against Hoseok, the elder’s lips became even less precise. 

Jimin’s forearms came up beside Hoseok’s head and he tangled his fingers into the mess of dark curls there. Jimin’s kisses slowed and his hips followed, grinding deeper, more sensually against Hoseok. He felt Hoseok’s strong hands slide up his butt and onto his lower back where they caressed him gently. Affectionately . Jimin could feel Hoseok’s heart thumping against him and the vibrations of its beat pulsed through him. This is bliss. This is heaven. Here, in Hoseok’s arms, naked bodies pressed against each other, his lips on mine, moving together. If this never ended, it would be too soon. 

And all the sudden it was too soon. 

Hoseok stirred below him and he felt his strong hands pushing against his chest. “No,” he said, “Sit up, I want to watch you.” 

Jimin was reluctant to obey this particular command so he snuck in a few more small pecks before he lifted himself upright and let his head fall back. He ran his hands sensually over his chest and neck and into his hair, luxuriating in the feeling of being watched. He made sure to put on a good show while never slowing his pace. He moved his arms behind him and lifted his hips to circle them as Hoseok’s cock slipped in and out of him. 

Hoseok was trying to keep control--he was so close but Jimin was so close, too. He just had to hang on a little longer. His hands crushed into Jimin’s hips as he tried to redirect the tension elsewhere in his body to his fingers. He knew he was leaving bruises and he could feel Jimin’s skin scraping under his fingernails but his grip on Jimin was his grip on reality at the moment and without this tangible thing firm in his hands, he was sure he would have ascended beyond his earthly form at this point. Jimin was an angel. Jimin was a demon. Jimin was god himself. And Hoseok had him on his cock. Stroking his length with his tight walls, slamming his glorious ass against his pelvis. Jimin was taking his time, enjoying the intoxicating power that came with controlling your lover’s pleasure. But Hoseok needed Jimin to cum now, and he needed to be the one to make him do it. 

Hoseok shifted so that his feet were braced against the bed and without warning he thrust hard into Jimin. Jimin screamed, surprised by the blinding flash of pleasure that Hoseok had gifted him when his tip hit Jimin’s prostate. “Ah! Fuck, Oppa!”

Hoseok bore down--or up, rather--using his leverage to pound into Jimin from below. Jimin quickly became incoherent, babbling desperate “thank you”s mixed in among a string of profanities and pleas. His face was contorted into an erotic version of a pout and from this angle, Hoseok saw his adorable crooked tooth peek from between his full, wet lips. Hoseok’s rhythm stuttered as he saw his dongsaeng for an instant and he quickly lowered his eyes, honing in on more anonymous erotic images like the way Jimin slipped on and off of him and the way his delicate hands brushed over his nipples.  

Jimin let Hoseok take over. He’d been in charge of this long enough tonight and he wanted his Oppa to take him the rest of the way. He relished the painful grip the powerful brunette had on him and the feeling of his hips slapping against his ass so hard it stung. His jaw was tight and strong, and when he bared his teeth with a growl, they were clenched so fiercely they could have snapped. The dark, sadistic look returned to Hoseok’s eye after having largely softened into something more desperate the last few minutes and Jimin wanted to feel them pierce through him. He moved his hands to Hoseok’s face and tried to pull his gaze up to his own, but his eyes flickered away falling instead to where his own hands now met Jimin’s thighs. Jimin had barely enough of his senses about to try again but when Hoseok’s eyes shut and then opened again on his stomach, the air was knocked out of him. This is intentional. He won’t look at me. 

Normally when they had sex, Hoseok was behind him. So they didn’t make a lot of eye contact during the act or especially the finale but Jimin had always chalked it up to circumstance. But they were facing each other this time and Hoseok’s avoidance of him was so blatant and obvious, it was painful. Jimin kept watching him as his body jerked from Hoseok’s thrusts. Hoseok kept his eyes on his neck or below, or clenched shut, or focused on the wall or the ceiling. Never, not once did they even sweep over his face. It felt humiliating . And not in the good way.

Jimin felt tears start to well in his eyes, the fantasy of their connection, their intimacy that he’d been slipping in and out of all night fading. There was nothing mutual about how they were feeling. Hoseok was fucking into him but it wasn’t him, not really. It never had been. It was anything else Hoseok could convince himself of. A tight hole attached to an anonymous body. 

Not for the first time it hurt. Hoseok only ever wanted parts of him. His sexual, submissive side now, his affectionate, friendly side later. Too often he wanted some vague, amorphous in-between part. Day in and day out it was the same thing and Jimin had tried and failed to come to terms with all of his arbitrary rules. Being playful was okay when he was naked but he couldn’t be too cutesy because his eye smile from a certain angle sent Hoseok into fits of guilt and discomfort. And being flirtatious when they were fully clothed was off limits but only if they were alone in proximity of the group, or if their adrenaline was up from a workout, or if he was standing under a light that made him look particularly sexy when viewed through Hoseok’s invisible “that’s my dongsaeng” glasses. Otherwise, Hoseok got defensive and kind of mean.

There was never a time--not once--since Hoseok had known every part of Jimin that he wanted all of it too. He tried not to take it personally. He really did. He had signed up for this. Hoseok made it clear early on that this is what he needed. This was the only arrangement that was going to work for him. It wasn’t his fault Jimin had to go and fall in love with him. It wasn’t his fault that Jimin apparently had no qualms about fucking his hyung. Hoseok had been very upfront. If Jimin didn’t like the terms, he could call it off. He could walk away. 

But even as angry, frustrated tears welled in his eyes he knew he wouldn’t. All he wanted was Hoseok. He would let him take any parts of him he wanted and just be grateful that he was the one Hoseok was touching and kissing and calling baby.

He felt a drop roll down his cheek, and Jimin was glad that, because Hoseok wouldn’t look at him he was at least spared the humiliation of Hoseok seeing him cry. 

He could tell Hoseok was close and he knew he was waiting on him. Jimin could get there, too. Despite the frustration and grief, Hoseok was still forcing a strong physiological response. Their bodies worked too well together at this point to not. He wasn’t emotionally interested in getting off anymore but his erection was starting to become painful and, more than that, he didn’t want to have to explain to Hoseok why he was suddenly not in the mood. So he leaned back, away from Hoseok, rolling his head back and angling his hips so that Hoseok had even more room to lead. Hoseok was quick to take advantage of his new mobility and Jimin was releasing on his own stomach in seconds, urged on by Hoseok’s breathy commands. Jimin wanted to collapse onto Hoseok as he climaxed and bury his face in his hair. It felt like the natural way this should end but he couldn’t help but feel like he would be an imposition. That’s not what Hoseok wants from me

He felt Hoseok’s fingers on his hips trying to pull him down next to him but Jimin pushed his hands away and crawled off the side of him instead.

“Lay down,” he heard Hoseok murmur next to him. 

Jimin glanced sideways, taking Hoseok’s naked, relaxed body in through his peripheral. Of course he looked fucking beautiful. Jimin wanted to stay, but there was no way he was laying in his arms and not completing falling apart. So he stood up instead and went to retrieve his pants.

“Jimin?” Hoseok sat up behind him, concern piercing through the fatigue in his voice.

“Hmm?” Jimin hummed, turning to face him with a nonplussed smile tight on his lips. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, uncertainly.

“Mmm-hmm,” Jimin affirmed. “It’s just late and I want to get back,” he shrugged. “We were finished, weren’t we?” He looked back at Hoseok hoping his face was reading nonchalant and light and not unfathomably devastated like he felt. 

“Yeah,” he conceded, “Unless you wanted to cuddle for a little?”

Jimin sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Yes. He wanted to cuddle. He wanted to lay naked in his strong arms, letting his head rest against his heartbeat. But not because Hoseok was trying to be better about aftercare. That just felt patronizing at this point. “I’m okay,” Jimin answered. “We didn’t play that rough this time.” 

“I know but...I don’t want to--”

“It’s really fine, Hoseok,” Jimin cut him off. “I need to get back anyway.” Jimin was at the door now, fiddling with the lock to get it open, desperate to get out while he still had the will to do so. 

“Back to where? We have another couple of hours before the boys come back…” Hoseok’s voice was so timid now. He sounded sad and Jimin felt his heart clench painfully. His hand faltered at the door. “We could do it again...” 

Jimin closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door, steadying his breath. He already knew he’d lost. He already knew that he was going to be naked and pretending like Hoseok loved him back inside of five minutes. But he just wanted another ten seconds to put his heart back together first so that he had something to give Hoseok until he unintentionally shattered it again later. 

He turned around slowly and Hoseok was smiling at him so damn lovingly . He was glowing and warm and perfect and Jimin was already moving back toward him, tossing his shoes off, pulling his pants and shirt off, and falling into his open arms.  

As Hoseok pulled him in close and Jimin’s head found its favorite spot on Hoseok’s chest, he felt the familiar war between joy and grief wage within him. The strong emotions battered against each other, turning Jimin into a disaster zone. Here, in Hoseok’s arms, he would find peace again soon but it would last only until he was back in his room tonight reminding himself that Hoseok--the man he loved, his Oppa--would prefer he was someone else entirely. 

Surely this was too much to ask anyone to endure. But it was better, he told himself, than not having anything with Hoseok at all.

Chapter Text

Hoseok was in a great mood. He’d gotten a call late last night--it had woken him up--but the big boss wanted to share the news immediately. His project was finally moving forward. Finally . There had been an inordinate amount of setbacks and he’d thought too many times that maybe he should just let it go. He wasn’t a quitter or anything, but it was becoming such a hassle and resource-suck for everyone. Why should everyone be so put out just because of him? But it was finally going to happen. Everyone was on board--they’d miraculously found a date that worked for everyone, the music was finished, the concept was perfected, all that was left was booking the location. And even if site A isn’t available, Hoseok had approved a B site that would work just as well. This was going to happen. And Hoseok was so happy. 

He wanted to tell Yoongi. Yoongi had listened to his song a million times entertaining his tedious questions about the minute details of his production. Do you think this adlib should be a millisecond longer? Maybe the sample should be a decibel louder here and then a decibel lower here? How’s the inflection of my tone on this part? Yoongi had been incredibly patient and helpful and diligent in his feedback. He’d want to know it mattered. He’d be happy for him.

He wanted to tell Namjoon. Namjoon is the one that encouraged him to go for it. Hoseok had always been a dancer first. Even though he’d been rapping for nearly a decade now, he still felt strange wearing that title independently. Solo projects with other artists felt so legitimate. He almost felt like an imposter. Which was crazy. He’d more than proven himself over the years, with Bangtan and without. When he’d confessed his trepidation to Joon, he’d been so supportive and encouraging. Promising Hoseok that he was ready, that he was capable, that he deserved this, and that it was okay to believe all of that too. He’d want to know it made a difference. He’d be proud of him.

But there was someone else he wanted to tell. Someone who hadn’t been as involved, who didn’t know all the details but who wouldn’t need to. Someone who would be happy for him and proud of him and excited just to see Hoseok excited. Someone who would smile bigger than Yoongi and Joon combined and clap his small hands together with sincere and profound enthusiasm while cooing such generous praise at him that Hoseok wouldn’t stop blushing until next year. Jimin always had the best reactions. Since Hoseok had known him, he’d always taken special care to pick out gifts for Jimin--not just on his birthday but fun little no-occasion surprises too. He wished he could say it was entirely selfless but he always had the look Jimin would get on his face in the back of his mind. His delight was everyone’s delight. And seeing Jimin be just as delighted about the inevitable success of his project as he was...well that would be especially delightful. 

He imagined how this celebration might be different than the ones they’d shared in the past. He would tell him his good news. Jimin would smile so much he’d laugh, and then he’d jump into Hoseok’s arms and Hoseok would spin him around and laugh with him. Nothing new about that. But this time he’d hold him a little closer and Jimin would be less careful about where his hands would pass and they may even press a dozen kisses into each other’s necks and hair for no deeper reason than it just feels good to kiss when you’re happy. And both of their joy would be multiplied by two. 

It was probably inappropriate to celebrate work with Jimin like that. So he’d have to be disciplined. Maybe he would tell him in the company of others. He could still see him beam and clap and hear his praises but he wouldn’t lose himself in the physical affection. That was a better plan...even if some kisses might have been nice. He’d stop by and pick Jimin and Tae up on the way to breakfast. He’d have to wait to tell him but he wouldn’t have to wait as long to see him. It’s amazing how much the idea of an extra five minutes of his company meant to him this morning. Jimin was just the kind of person you wanted to be around when you were happy.

He waited as long as he could--until 8 am--before pulling his shoes on and running out of the room. He’d gotten up with Jungkook at six. He had so much energy that he even contemplated joining him at the gym. But he’d quickly changed his mind when Kook started laying out his plan for buddy-workouts, opting to take a long shower instead. But 8 am was a fair time to go wake up Tae and Jimin. They were probably already up. The other boys would be getting down to breakfast soon too. Except maybe Yoongi. Unless he had never gone to sleep. In a half hour, enough of them would be at breakfast together and he could share his news.  

He arrived at the door and knocked rapidly, trying to keep his exuberance to a minimum but only doing a mildly successful job of it. The door opened. “Hey Tae,” Hoseok said, his smile falling just a little when a wide-faced brunette greeted him. Not that he was unhappy to see him--he’d just been hoping for someone else. “I’m headed to breakfast. Just wanted to see if you and Jimin wanted to join.” 

“I’m ready!” Tae said. “Jimin-ah!” he called back into the room over his shoulder. There he was. His roommate stepped into view at the end of the short hallway entry. 

Hoseok’s smile gave way a little into awe, and a rush of sentiment hit him as his eyes moved over Jimin. The pretty blonde had a white towel wrapped low around his waist, the rest of his body bare and Hoseok was transported back to their first night together in his room. The moment Hoseok had first felt that hot, liquid feeling low in gut for Jimin. The moment he’d made the pivotal decision to have him. He didn’t know then of course how pivotal a decision it was...how much it would change things, and there was some regret elbowing its way forward as he acknowledged that, but the overwhelming feeling of this moment was gratitude. For all the strife that decision had brought both of them, he couldn’t help but be grateful that he’d gotten the opportunity to know Jimin as he knew him now. To touch him and kiss him and feel him. He never would have gotten any of that if he hadn’t been so thoroughly taken with Jimin in his towel.

Jimin was talking to Tae--telling him he wasn’t ready, he still had to shower, to go ahead without him. But he was looking at Hoseok, their eyes meeting in a way that told him Jimin felt the familiarity of this moment as well. 

“You can just meet us down there, then,” Hoseok heard Tae say but he wasn’t ready for Jimin and his towel to disappear yet. Apparently Jimin wasn’t either because as the door slowly closed behind Taehyung, their eyes still locked, Jimin smirked playfully and dropped the towel. Hoseok didn’t even catch a glimpse, his imagination left to fill in the tantalizing blanks. 

The door shut and Hoseok ran to catch up to Tae, already thinking about how he could get back to Jimin without being obvious. Though they had exchanged no words, Hoseok’s body had felt his call and everything that had seemed so important to him for the last several hours was back burnered. His news could wait. At least until after Jimin. 

“So,” Hoseok said, clearing his throat and slinging his arm around his younger friend’s broad back, leading him quickly down the hallway. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good.” Tae said, his voice becoming noticeably more animated. “I had this really amazing dream!”

Oh no . The odds of this being a short story were slim.

“Yoongi-hyung and I were dancing in the practice room and suddenly this giant cat came into the studio. A great ginger thing--probably ten feet tall. And his eyes were glowing but...they were kind, you know? And I knew right away it was the old man who used to run the ice cream cart outside my grade school--but, if he were a giant cat…”

“Mhmm, sure.” Hoseok nodded. This was less weird than he expected honestly. But definitely not interesting enough to justify letting Jimin get away with that towel stunt. 

Taehyung’s story went on forever and Hoseok found himself checking his watch as the seconds ticked by. He was getting anxious that he was going to miss Jimin.

“Anyway,” he sighed, “Long story short, I could have used a few more hours.” 

“Of the dream, or the sleep?” Hoseok said, keeping up his conversational air but relieved it had ended finally.

Taehyung laughed. “The sleep--I’m not crazy. How’d you sleep?”

Hoseok glanced at his watch again. It had been almost four minutes since they’d left Tae’s room. They were close enough to the cafeteria that it wouldn’t make sense for Tae to accompany him back and he couldn’t wait any longer. “Good, good. No complaints.” Hoseok smiled but then his face quickly changed to surprise and irritation and he stopped in his tracks. “Ah, I forgot my phone,” he said, patting his pockets and pretending he didn’t feel it beneath the fabric. “You go ahead, Tae, I’ll meet you at breakfast. Kook’s already down there.” Hoseok shooed Tae along, insisting he not wait for him--not that Tae put up much of a fight against the delicious smell wafting from the kitchen--and doubled back toward his room. He waited until Tae was out of sight and then veered off, retracing their steps. It was just a short walk, made quicker by the fact that he could set his own pace, and then all of the sudden he was at Jimin’s door. 

Hoseok stopped short, his eager smile melting into disappointment as he realized he had no way in. The doors generally locked automatically unless you specifically unlocked them. He didn’t have a key. He and Jimin had talked about exchanging keys a few weeks in thinking it might make their comings and goings more discreet, but the risk of using it only to find Tae or Jungkook behind the door made the knocking system safer, if less subtle. So unless Jimin had unlocked it, he was out of luck. Would Jimin have thought to leave it open for him? He took a breath and tried the handle, and he smiled when the door pushed open. The younger must have unlocked it before he got in the shower. He knew Hoseok would come back for him. 

Hoseok slipped inside and heard water running in the shower. Jimin was still in there. He was generally a quick showerer so Hoseok was worried Tae’s story had run out the clock on this chance but he’d apparently gotten lucky again. Hoseok bolted the door behind him and moved into the room. The towel was still on the floor where Jimin had dropped it. He leaned down and picked it up, his mind flashing on that first night again, when he’d pulled it from Jimin’s waist and pushed him down, getting his first glimpse of Jimin aroused and flushed and fearful. It had been so easy then. He’d been short-sighted and impulsive and the repercussions of his actions were still hypotheticals and conjecture--not enough to temper his desire. Their encounter was intended to be a singular, fleeting night of passion and not...whatever it had become now, so he’d fucked him without any inhibition or restraint--physically and emotionally. They were never supposed to get involved. It was never supposed to bleed into their real worlds. They were never supposed to cry about it or fight over it or think of it first thing in the morning when they woke up after dreaming about it. It was supposed to be easy. 

He smiled a little, finding rye humor in how wrong he had been about their ability to settle for a one night stand. In how much the lure of Jimin and his towel had cost them both. In how much he wished he could regret it more. 

Hoseok stood, the towel still clenched in his fist and let himself into the bathroom quietly. The room was so warm and filled with a heavy steam that smelled like peaches and honey, like Jimin, and he inhaled deeply.

The singer was humming, his voice echoing beautifully around the tiled room and Hoseok closed his eyes to listen for a second. Jimin’s voice always gave him pleasant little goosebumps. Even before they became intimate. There was this delicate, bird-like tremble to it that was entirely unique and so vulnerable. It was seduction and innocence. Grace and strength. So Jimin . Hoseok thought for a second that maybe he’d rather just take a seat on the dewey floor and listen instead. 

But when his eyes opened again and fell on Jimin’s indistinct form behind the shower door, his purpose refocused. Hoseok felt his pants tightening as he watched him. He was so shapely and it was even more evident in silhouette on the shower door. Not taking his eyes off Jimin, he dropped the towel and quickly got undressed. He approached the shower quietly but swiftly. If Jimin had noticed him, he hadn’t given any indication of it, he was still humming. 

Hoseok slid the shower door open quietly and stepped into the tub. Jimin was still humming, his back to the elder. Hoseok moved quickly to him and slid his arms around his slender waist, notching his chin into Jimin’s neck. Jimin didn’t seem startled at all, in fact, he exhaled quietly and let his head fall back against Hoseok as if relieved all of the sudden. Hoseok pressed his entire body against Jimin’s, letting the younger feel his hard member against his ass. Jimin hummed happily. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” he murmured. 

“Tae wanted to tell me about his dream…”

Jimin chuckled, “the cat one? I got the play-by-play this morning, too.” 

Hoseok planted a sensual kiss on his shoulder, letting his lips linger on Jimin’s warm skin. The water was on his back and it was near scalding but the strong pressure of it felt good. All of this felt good. He was already in such a good mood and this--Jimin restless and wanton in his arms--this was icing on the cake. Jimin smelled like he’d nearly wrapped up his shower and the suds on the bottom of the tub confirmed it. He was grateful Jimin had stalled to give him time to get back.

“Did you clean yourself well, baby boy?” Hoseok asked, his breath heavy against Jimin’s neck. 

Jimin leaned his head back and moaned lightly, “Yes, Oppa. I cleaned myself so well for you.” 

Hoseok pressed a hot, open-mouth kiss behind Jimin’s ear, sucking on the flesh there. “Shame I’m gonna get you all dirty again,” he whispered.

Jimin jerked forward, a loud laugh escaping his lips and he turned around to face Hoseok, curling a little in a fit of giggles. “Hoseok, that was a terrible line!”

Hoseok laughed too, a little embarrassed. He brushed his hair out of his face and tickled Jimin in retaliation. “I thought it was kind of smooth,” he said. “Besides, you’re not supposed to laugh at Oppa. Want me to punish you?” He said it flirtatiously but with a hint of menace. 

He had a smile on his face but Jimin’s laugh caught in his throat anyway, as he got a full glimpse of Hoseok. His wet hair was pushed back off of his forehead and water was cascading down his hard body. Jimin watched the water as it rushed down his chest to his stomach and followed his v-line. He was so sexy. So imposing and intimidating. Jimin bit his lip. Nothing seemed funny anymore. “I’m sorry, Oppa,” he said, “Please get me dirty again.”

Hoseok felt the mood shift from playful to urgent and smirked a little. He moved toward Jimin who inhaled sharply, and turned him back around, placing his hands on the shower wall in front of him. He put his mouth against Jimin’s ear. “That’s more like it, pet. You want to be my perfect dirty boy, don’t you?”

Jimin moaned softly, “Mmm, please Oppa.” 

Hoseok pressed his member against Jimin’s ass, impatient with need and aching for friction already, as he took Jimin’s earlobe into his mouth. He moved his hands up Jimin’s stomach and onto his chest and brushed his thumbs lightly over his nipples. Jimin gasped again and pushed his ass harder into Hoseok. Hoseok recalled suddenly how Jimin had arched off of the bed against him in pleasure when he’d flicked his nipple hard that first night. How had he managed to forget how incredibly sensitive they were? How Jimin’s face had lit up in ecstasy with the harsh treatment? Hoseok tweaked them again, pinching the hard bud between his fingers and delighting in the moan it pulled out of Jimin. Hoseok made a mental note to exploit this sensitivity more in the future. 

Hoseok ran his hands back down Jimin’s chest, across his abs and onto his pelvis. He caressed the skin there softly, teasing, brushing nearer to where he knew Jimin was aching to be touched. His hands moved to his hips and Jimin whimpered at their withdrawal but they were back again quickly, his palms sliding down his thighs, continuing to rub and pinch and tease until he felt Jimin’s legs begin to tremble. 

“Oppa,” Jimin choked, sucking in air through his teeth, “please touch me. Please.”

Hoseok’s head fell against Jimin’s back, groaning into it. Almost nothing aroused him like the sound of Jimin begging. Except for the sound he made when he finally got what he wanted. Hoseok pressed closer to Jimin, giving his body something to collapse into and moved his hand to grip Jimin’s cock which was hot and stiff and dripping in anticipation. Hoseok pulled a long, slow stroke and Jimin’s knees weakened, his body melting against the elder’s. Hoseok caught Jimin’s earlobe in his mouth and tugged at it roughly with his teeth, hissing against him as he stroked faster. Jimin’s hands slipped and clawed against the wall in front of him as Hoseok drew him closer and closer to release. Jimin knew he wouldn’t let him get there so he put up a little fight but his resilience was no match for Hoseok’s skill and sure enough, Hoseok’s hands stilled just as Jimin’s eyes began to roll back into his head. Jimin was shivering as Hoseok pressed kisses against the back of his neck and shoulder, shushing him gently as Jimin almost sobbed in frustration, “shhh. It’s okay, my pet. Good boy being soooo patient for Oppa.” Hoseok smirked, patronizingly. 

“Please, Jimin whispered. “Oppa...please. Need you...” 

He felt Jimin wiggle against him. Hoseok was tempted to withhold more, to tease more. But he wanted Jimin’s pleasure now for himself too. There was something about this atmosphere, the shower, the heat, the perfumed cloud enveloping them, the way the light filtered in through the shower door...it encouraged tenderness. Affection. Hoseok didn’t often tend toward that, but it felt right to be more doting in this setting. Maybe it was his mood too. He felt happiness in every cell and it was as if the closer he and Jimin were, the more it circulated back and forth between the two of them, growing, becoming more electric, wrapping them both in a field of joy. It was too good not to indulge in. “Okay, baby,” he grinned. “Okay. Oppa needs you too...” 

Hoseok moved his hand around to Jimin’s ass gently probing the area with his fingers. The water and soap lessened the friction and made everything pleasantly slippery so his finger slipped it without much resistance and Jimin gasped softly. Hoseok thought he felt a little looser than normal. “Feels like someone’s already been playing down here…” he murmured. “Was my greedy slut fucking himself?”

Jimin nodded, “Yes, Oppa. For you. Only for you.” 

Hoseok noticed Jimin’s little black plug on the hanging shower rack. This must be how he gets it in. Hoseok groaned as he imagined Jimin in the shower every morning, working himself open and plugging himself up just in case he and Hoseok had the opportunity to hook up. He didn’t tell him enough how grateful he was that he did that for them.

“What a good boy you are. Oppa’s good little slut.” Hoseok pulled his fingers out pushing Jimin forward so he was leaning against the shower wall again. Hoseok grabbed ahold of his own length and rubbed himself in Jimin’s cleft. He liked the way it looked. His golden skin against the pink of Jimin’s. His hard pulsing shaft against Jimin’s smooth, plush cheeks. The shine of his precum leaking onto Jimin’s dewey... 

Shit

Jimin stirred when he heard Hoseok swear. It didn’t sound like a good swear and he had to stifle the impatient whimper that formed in his throat. “What is it? What’s wrong.” 

“I--I don’t have a condom.” Hoseok sounded surprised. 

He was surprised. How had he overlooked this? He was never caught unprepared like this. It was always his first thought after sex was on the table. Sex is going to happen. Do I have a condom? 99% of the time the answer was yes. But his thoughts this morning had been less linear, less mechanical. More...Jimin-central. And this had just slipped his mind.  

“Oh,” Jimin exhaled. “Is that a problem for you?” he asked. Was it for him? He didn’t know. It probably should have been. But all he felt was thrill. 

Hoseok stared down at where his member still throbbed against Jimin. Was this a problem for him? Hoseok never did this. Not just with Jimin--with anyone. It was about safety, it was about cleanliness. It was about control. It was a wall. It felt strange not to care about that now. “No,” he said, simply. “It’s not a problem...is it a problem for you?”

Jimin shook his head. “No.” 

Hoseok hesitated. “Promise?” He asked more to make himself feel better than to get to the truth. Jimin sounded sincere. But Hoseok had a hard time imagining a scenario in which Jimin would confess it was a problem even if it was. He’d just have to trust that Jimin was being honest.

And, to be fair, Jimin didn’t seem to be lacking any enthusiasm. In fact, he’d almost become more eager. “Oppa,” he moaned, “please. Please . Oppa, I need it.” He moved against Hoseok, rubbing against his shaft and creating encouraging friction. 

Satisfied that Jimin was okay with this, he pushed Jimin a little further forward and pulled one of his cheeks aside, guiding his bare cock into Jimin slowly. He grunted as he pushed in all the way to his hilt. 

Jimin moaned loudly, “Oh! Yes,” he gasped as Hoseok filled him and Jimin felt chills ripple through his body in waves. They stilled together for a moment as Hoseok let Jimin adjust--as Hoseok adjusted himself to the contact. 

Finally Hoseok moved, slowly at first, slow thrusts in, slow pulls out...Jimin’s hands flexing and clenching as the tension built in him. 

Jimin focused as intently as he could on the feeling of Hoseok in him. If it felt significantly different, he couldn’t tell. It was warmer and there was a little more friction--he could feel the loose flesh around his shaft dragging against his walls. But it wasn’t as dramatic a difference as he imagined--at least for him. From the sounds Hoseok was making, it seemed like he was enjoying it a little more than usual. But it felt different to Jimin in other ways. It felt so intimate. So personal, to be touching like this. Hoseok deep inside him, with nothing between them. For reasons he couldn’t articulate and he tried not to linger on, it made him a little emotional. 

Hoseok had one of his hands on Jimin’s hip. It was hard to get a good grip on the slippery skin and the harsh pinch of his fingers felt desperate and needy to Jimin. The elder put his free hand on top of Jimin’s against the shower wall, his fingers curling to interlock them. His chest was pressed against Jimin’s back and he used just his hips to thrust in and out of him--never pulling most his body away from Jimin’s. Jimin was the perfect size for this type of fuck. He fit snugly into Hoseok’s arms and was just the right height so that Hoseok didn’t have to bend over awkwardly or get on his tiptoes to thrust in and out of him. It was comfortable, almost leisurely--like their bodies were designed for one another. 

Jimin was breathing heavier now as Hoseok continued to pump into him. Hoseok had moved one of his hands to wrap firmly around Jimin’s cock and was stroking him in rhythm with his thrusts. Jimin let his head fall back onto Hoseok’s shoulder and felt lips lock onto his neck. He moaned as Hoseok placed sensual, hungry kisses in a line from his ear to his shoulder and he shuddered when Hoseok paused to suck a mark into his wet skin, his tongue flicking over the dark spot.  

The water was hot on Hoseok’s shoulder blades and the high pressure of the stream was adding a pleasantly painful prickle on his skin. Hoseok had never had shower sex before but he found it very stimulating. The position wasn’t anything special but the atmosphere was. This felt different here in the shower. A world away from everything else. It was as if the running water drowned the world around them out entirely and they were alone for the first time in their lives. They could have been faster—maybe they should have been. But it felt nice to take their time. It felt nice to not rush. The world could wait.

Hoseok moved a step back and he held Jimin’s hips to ensure he followed without slipping off. Jimin’s hands remained on the wall in front of him but slid further down so that he was bent a little now. Hoseok continued pumping into him and he watched mesmerized as the water trickled down Jimin’s back. 

Jimin’s moans were becoming deeper, throatier, more desperate, and from where Hoseok was standing, he could see how white his knuckles were from clenching and unclenching his fists. Jimin was coming up on his limit. Quicker than Hoseok expected--maybe the added friction of their raw connection was too much for him. Maybe the strangely intoxicating atmosphere of the shower had pushed him along. Either way it was time.

Hoseok flexed his fingers on Jimin’s hips, readjusting his grip to signal for Jimin to brace himself. Hoseok propped one of his legs up on the side of the tub and used his new leverage and angle to thrust roughly into Jimin, his tip battering the sensitive area he’d been teasing at all morning. 

Jimin yelped in pleasure and arched his back up, throwing his head back and grunting with each thrust. The faster Hoseok went, the louder, the higher pitched Jimin got and he was just barely able to make out the younger’s desperate pleas as he begged permission to cum. “Yes, Pet, let’s get you all dirty again,” Hoseok held Jimin’s cock firmly against his torso, feeling the wet heat of his cum splatter against his stomach and drip onto his hand. Hoseok couldn’t see it but the feel of it on him spurred him on too. He thrust again, Jimin crying and squealing with oversensitivity as he intensified his pace. It was so loud, the way Jimin’s cries echoed in the shower and Hoseok was glad that there was more than one door and the sound of running water between them and the outside world. But god did he love it. He’d only gotten to really hear this sort of reckless ecstasy once--the day everyone was on the yacht. One day, some day, he’d like to make Jimin really scream. And with that tantalizing thought, he came too, spilling his seed for the first time against Jimin’s walls.   

Jimin tensed and gasped a small “oh!” when he felt Hoseok’s warmth fill him. It was a new sensation--quite pleasant--to feel his cum inside of him and it was thrilling to feel it spilling out when Hoseok withdrew. He felt sticky and dirty and used as the liquid trickled down his thigh. His legs were still shaking but he made to stand up, wanting to see if he could catch a glimpse of it but Hoseok’s strong hand on his back kept him in position. 

“Stay still, baby.” Hoseok’s voice came, rough and demanding. “Stay just like that.”

Hoseok grabbed a cloth from the shower rack and ran it up his thigh and to where Jimin felt the sticky liquid pooling. 

Jimin shut his eyes. It felt a little embarrassing to be cleaned like this but Hoseok was so tender and careful that his heart warmed at the gesture. His Oppa was taking care of him and it made him feel so cherished. So special. It’s just aftercare. But it was still nice and he sighed contentedly. He heard Hoseok drop the cloth on the floor of the tub and Jimin tried to stand again, but Hoseok’s hand was back firm against him. 

“Did I tell you you could move yet?” He asked.

Jimin shook his head and leaned back down. “No, Oppa,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” 

Hoseok’s hand reached over Jimin’s head and closed around Jimin’s little black plug. Jimin’s heart thudded excitedly when he understood and seconds later he was forcing himself to relax as the plug was pressed against him. It slid in so easily--more easily than Jimin had ever managed. But then, Hoseok had just fucked him and he was much larger than Jimin’s three tiny fingers. Plus there was the added lubrication Hoseok had provided. “Oh!” Jimin gasped quietly as the realization hit. Hoseok had just trapped his cum inside of him . Jimin groaned at the thought. The idea of walking around all day with that inside of him was overwhelming. So dirty, it was delicious and his whole body felt hot just thinking about it.

Hoseok removed his hand from Jimin’s back and let him stand before quickly turning him around pressing his back against the wall. From their previous position, he hadn’t gotten a good opportunity to look at him but he was grateful for the chance now. If Jimin was a vision dry, he was unfathomable wet. So superlative in every way, the way the water clung to his body, the steam that framed him like he was literally on a cloud, the pinkness of his hot skin--Hoseok’s brain couldn’t even come up with a word for it. There was a feeling of perfection. Hoseok wasn’t religious but he imagined this was how it might feel to stare into the face of god. 

Hoseok closed the space between them, one hand moving to Jimin’s hip while the other raised to cup his face and angle it up toward him. He pulled him into a kiss and took his time with it, moving their mouths against each other slowly, kissing deeply, sensually. He felt Jimin’s hands move to the small of his back, pushing him in closer so their hips touched. He could feel Jimin become pliant and relaxed in his arms and he tightened his grip on him to hold him up. 

Hoseok wasn’t sure how long they kissed like that, wrapped around each other, memorizing each other’s lips and tongues with their own. They probably could have gone on forever if it hadn’t been for Jimin’s stomach which let out a loud grumble that echoed off the walls of the shower. 

Jimin’s lips stilled for a moment, praying that Hoseok hadn’t heard that. But Hoseok’s lips turned up in a smile that Jimin felt against his own and he knew the growl hadn’t gone unnoticed. He quickly picked his pace up again and held Hoseok tighter to him, hoping that this wasn’t over but he already felt Hoseok pulling away from him. 

“After all you’ve had, you’re still hungry?” Hoseok chuckled, his voice soft and husky.

Jimin shook his head, though his stomach did feel really empty all of the sudden, “Not even a little. Let’s do this some more,” he raised up on his tiptoes to find Hoseok’s lips again. 

But Hoseok just laughed and stepped back to turn off the water. “Come on, let’s get you some food.”

When the water shut off it was amazing how quickly the air went cold and the real world reemerged. From the smile on Hoseok’s face, it hadn’t hit him yet. But the euphoria Jimin had felt in the throes of that kiss, was being washed away like the water circling the drain.  

Hoseok opened the shower door and grabbed a big fluffy towel from the shelf near them. He wrapped it around Jimin and pulled it snug before motioning for him to step out. Hoseok followed and grabbed himself a towel too.

They dried themselves mostly in silence except for Hoseok’s contented humming. Jimin didn’t recognize the song but it sounded happy and Jimin thought he wouldn’t mind passing every morning like this. He felt a silly little smile cross his lips as he imagined getting ready like this with Hoseok every day. They’d wake up next to each other and cuddle and kiss or maybe have a tickle fight and kiss--there would definitely be kissing, then they’d make goofy faces at each other in the mirror while brushing their teeth, then they’d help each other pick out their clothes and compliment each other’s looks, cooing praises at one another, then they’d share a sweet, slow kiss at the door before they left for the day. 

“That was fun, yeah?” Hoseok asked, pulling Jimin from his little daydream. He smiled at him as he buckled his belt back up.

Jimin ruffled his hair with a towel and nodded. “Not a bad way to start my day at all.”

“I agree!” Hoseok said, enthusiastically, still smiling. 

Hoseok’s grin was so grand and so sincere. It made Jimin’s heart sing just to see it. He felt like laughing for no reason other than his happiness was too great to be contained in a smile. He didn’t see this kind of joy in him often enough anymore. “You’re in a pretty good mood today.”

Oh yeah! His news! Hoseok opened his mouth to tell Jimin why but he stopped himself. This definitely wasn’t the right time or place. Sharing this celebration now, when they were still half nude, after just having had sex...He would tell him at breakfast with the whole team. That was more appropriate. Hoseok shrugged, still grinning, and sat himself on the counter to pull on his shoes. “Well it’s been a long time since I got to have morning sex,” he laughed. 

The bubbly, giggly feeling in Jimin’s stomach faded just a little. Hoseok was just being cheeky but Jimin wasn’t taking jokes like that very well these days. Jokes that reminded him that Hoseok was just in this for the physical. “Well I’m glad I could oblige,” he said, a little half-heartedly.

“Me too!” 

Hoseok’s eyes were so damn sparkly. Why did he have to look at him like that? Like he meant the whole world to him too?  

“We probably shouldn’t go down to breakfast together.” Hoseok, fully dressed now, hopped down from the counter, a skip in his step as he crossed the bathroom. Jimin, also dressed now, straightened up to move out of his way but was surprised when Hoseok stopped in front of him. Hoseok’s hand was suddenly on the younger’s hip and he leaned in, giving him a sweet, open mouthed kiss, his lips tugging at Jimin’s for just a second before pulling away, a dimpled smile still on his face. “I’ll head down first,” he said. He continued to the door and opened it, turning to give Jimin a small wave goodbye. “See you soon, Jimin!”

Jimin didn’t say anything as the door shut behind Hoseok. He just stood there staring at the spot where his hyung had just been, frozen in confusion, surprise, and something else that made his chest burn a little. No no no. No. Stop it right now Park Jimin. That wasn’t anything. But he couldn’t keep his hand from moving to his lips and he smiled shyly as he ran his fingers over the place Hoseok had laid his. His heart was pounding from the brief contact. From the feeling it gave him that was somehow more intense and euphoric than any he’d felt during their shower. 

It was just a kiss . But it felt so foreign. Why had he done that? He wasn’t teasing him. He wasn’t trying to initiate sex--they had just had it. And still, he had walked over to Jimin and kissed him . So casually. So nonchalantly. It wasn’t overtly sexual but it certainly wasn’t platonic either--not just a playful peck between Hobi and Jiminie--there was too much lip on lip for that. And it wasn’t just that he was unexpectedly affectionate with him. More importantly, he hadn’t been stand-offish or awkward with him. They’d been out of the shower for 15 minutes when he’d kissed him and he’d never turned back into someone untouchable for Hoseok. Why? What had changed? What was different about this? Jimin wished he knew so he could make sure whatever he did right this time he could do again in the future. It was nice to not feel so blatantly rejected and unwanted after sex for a change. Jimin shook his head, still smiling cautiously, and followed Hoseok out of the bathroom.

***

Hoseok was beaming when he arrived back in the cafeteria. His buzz was so electric that he didn’t think anyone could deflate him today. Even when Tae had made the very good point that Hoseok had taken a long time to get his phone and was wet now for some reason too, Hoseok wasn’t ruffled. He made up a quick story about a little spill and another shower and enjoyed the tray of now-cold food that Tae had been kind enough to grab for him a half hour ago. 

When Jimin showed up just five minutes later, also beaming and wet, Hoseok couldn’t even bring himself to be concerned that maybe they looked a little suspicious. He recognized that on any other day, he would have been a wreck wondering who was going to put it together first. And he’d be mortified that Jimin was sitting across from him with his cum sloshing around inside of him. And his anxiety from that fear and embarrassment would have forced him to leave the table and the company of his carefree friends. 

But today was different. Today he was untouchable. He didn’t know for sure that it was his good news that had made it so...it could have been something in Jimin’s shampoo for all he knew. But on top of the relief and excitement he felt that his project moving forward, he was also riding a wave of adrenaline and endorphins from some really excellent shower sex, and there wasn’t an ounce of guilt polluting any of it for a change. There in that shower, everything difficult had washed away and it was just him, and Jimin, and bliss. It felt unreal. Because it wasn’t real. It was a fantasy. An illusion. A trick. He wasn’t stupid--he knew it wouldn’t last. Logically, he knew that he had just as much to feel terrible about as he normally did with Jimin. He could already feel the purity of his joy fading. The longer he was out here in the real world away from the perfumed steam and the hot water, the more the whole thing seemed like a dream. The more he remembered he was the bad guy here. But he was certainly going to enjoy the break while he could. 

When Yoongi finally arrived after everyone else had long since finished, Hoseok told everyone his good news and he was right about their reactions. Yoongi was happy for him, Joon was proud of him, everyone was praising him and congratulating him, but it was Jimin who gave him every ounce of his joy and enthusiasm back ten fold. He didn’t even look disappointed that Hoseok hadn’t told him right away. He didn’t have any room to feel anything except for happiness for Hoseok. 

He wished he could throw his arms around him and kiss him.

 

***

Unfortunately, Hoseok’s good mood didn’t last long. Somewhere around 3 he’d gotten a headache. And it just kept getting worse. He’d managed to keep it under wraps and get through rehearsal, knowing he needed practice and not wanting to be sent back to his room, especially since he had his project to practice for now too, but he was regretting that now as his head had gotten exponentially worse. 

It was probably stress. Now that this was actually happening there was a ton of pressure to make sure it was worth all the hassle. This project was so him that, if it flopped, he was the one who had wasted everyone's time and effort. So he was already thinking about when he could squeeze in extra work, what types of problems he could anticipate and plan for, what terrible things could happen that he’d have to live with...his headache was understandable. 

When Jungkook got back to his room, Hoseok was situated on the couch. Jungkook didn’t know if that’s where he had landed or if it was intentional but he was in his pajamas so it seemed more like he’d meant to end up there. He vaguely recalled a doctor telling him that sitting up could help relieve a little pressure in your head. Maybe that’s what Hoseok was going for. 

“Your head any better hyung?” Junkgook asked. 

Hoseok shook his head then winced as the movement sent a sharp pang through his brain. 

“Do you want me to get you something? Can I help?”

“Thanks, Kookie,” Hoseok said closing his eyes and massaging his temples, “but it would be the most help if you would avoid making loud noises and maybe dim the light you just turned on.”

“Sure, hyung.” Jungkook lowered his voice to barely a whisper as he went to dim the light. He looked back at Hoseok sympathetically and then grabbed his favorite Mang plushie and a cozy throw from his bed. Jungkook wasn’t a natural nurturer but whenever he was upset, Hoseok had never let him go without something to hold on to. Jungkook could do at least that. He moved over to his hyung as quietly as possible and draped the blanket over him. Hoseok smiled a tired but genuinely endeared smile which widened when Jungkook produced the Mang from behind his back too. 

“Thank you, Kookie,” Hoseok said, taking the plushie. Hoseok always did a lot to take care of the other boys and he did fine managing his own comfort too--though Jimin used to help a lot with that. But if he was being honest, he loved being taken care of. His parents had always been particularly doting and he missed it sometimes. 

“You’re welcome, hyung,” Jungkook said, a little shy. “Now I’m going to do you the biggest favor of all and vacate for the night.” 

“Oh, Kook, you don’t have to.” He felt bad chasing Kookie away. He knew he had planned on playing video games. 

“It’s okay, Hobi-hyung…” Jungkook smirked. “Plenty of other hyungs to bother.” And with that, Jungkook was out the door but Hoseok had to stifle a laugh as he watched Jungkook inch the door shut from the outside a millimeter at a time, determined not to make even a tiny sound. 

Hoseok rolled his head back against the sofa and adjusted the blanket so that it covered his feet too. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV, turning the volume down until he could only just hear it and putting captions on instead. He pulled up one of his favorite animated films. He couldn’t watch his actual favorite because Lilo & Stitch made him cry and that would just make his headache worse but Frozen would do just fine. The music was fun and he’d seen it enough times he wouldn’t have to think about it at all. He was hoping sleep would take him before long anyway. 

The movie was only a couple of minutes in when Hoseok heard a soft knock on his door. He didn’t want to raise his voice but getting up wasn’t an option either, “Yeaaaap?” he called, his head cringing at his own volume. The door popped open and his face lit up when he saw Jimin’s head peak in. “Jiminie!” He waved Jimin over to him. 

“You look cute,” Jimin said as he approached, eyeing his pjs and his Mang plushie. “Comfy.”

Hoseok blushed a little, “I am comfy,” he said, a bit defensively. 

Jimin lowered himself onto his knees on the couch and shuffled toward Hoseok, sliding his hand up his leg and to his thigh.

Hoseok’s head throbbed but Jimin’s caress dulled it for a moment as his focus fell on his featherlight touch through the thin fabric of his pants. 

Jimin’s weight was pressing on Hoseok and he placed a gentle kiss on his jaw. “Jungkook is in my room with Tae but I don’t know for how long.” He placed another peck on his lips. “I know we just fooled around this morning but...wanna fuck me on this couch?” His voice was full of seduction and he kissed Hoseok deeper now, as he moved his hands to the hem of Hoseok’s flannel shirt. Hoseok kissed him back but Jimin could sense the hesitation in it. “Oppa?” he breathed, heavily, “What’s wrong?” He pulled back and saw a contemplative frown on Hoseok’s face. “Ah,” he said. I was too fast. “Do you need to wait for it to change?” Jimin withdrew his hands and his lips and sat back so there was space between them. “For me to change?”

Hoseok blanched. He didn’t know Jimin knew about that. “N-no,” he stuttered, flustered. “No you don’t have to...I don’t…No, Jimin.” And he didn’t. Which struck him as strange now that Jimin mentioned it. He wasn’t being overtly sexy or particularly pet-like when he walked in so he probably should have needed a moment to adjust but he hadn’t. That was new and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was probably just his head being slow and distracting. 

Hoseok shook his head, wincing again, and smiled a little, “It’s nothing, Jimin,” he said, “I’m fine,” He grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to kiss him again. 

“Hoseok,” Jimin resisted gently, moving in again but sitting next to him instead. 

Hoseok closed his eyes and then opened them again slowly, “It’s just a headache. I’m good to go. Really.” 

Jimin looked a little disappointed but he looked more concerned. “No no. It’s okay.” He raised his hand to stroke his hyung’s face. He knew Hoseok didn’t get headaches often and when he did they were bad. “We don’t have to fool around.” He smiled and patted Hoseok’s thigh. “You get some rest. I’ll leave you be.”

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s arm as he got up. “You don’t have to go. Do you want to watch some of this movie with me?” They both looked at where his hand gripped Jimin’s arm, feeling a different type of tension in the hold.

Jimin tried to hide his surprise. First the kiss this morning, now this? It wasn’t necessarily an unusual thing for Hobi to ask. He and Hobi used to watch movies together all the time. Before . Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it was different now. Now that Jimin had feelings for him and Hoseok couldn’t look him in the face. This was something they didn’t do anymore. Hoseok because it made him uncomfortable and Jimin because it broke his heart to play house like this knowing it would never really be what he wanted it to be as much as it sometimes felt like it. If he stayed, this night would hurt him. But he wanted to. He wanted to slide into that cozy, inviting space under Hobi’s arm. He wanted to cradle him and stroke his hair and pepper little kisses on his face until he felt better. Every defensive cell in his body was telling him to get out but Hoseok was sick and he needed him. No one knew better than Jimin how much Hoseok liked to be taken care of. Even though he was usually the one doing the caring, in his heart, Hoseok just wanted someone to look after him. And that’s what Jimin had always done. So Jimin took a slow, steadying breath and smiled at Hoseok before taking a seat next to him on the couch. He didn’t slide under his arm, though. He sat about a foot away. He told himself the distance was for Hobi--he didn’t want to jostle him--but Jimin was protecting himself. His heart was already pounding from the proximity and he was feeling so vulnerable. 

Hoseok huffed out a sad little chuckle under his breath as he watched Jimin sit down. He was stiff and perched tentatively on the edge of the couch, his jacket and shoes on still, looking like this was the last place he wanted to be. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked him to stay. He didn’t mean to make Jimin uncomfortable. This was always what he was afraid of--that Jimin would do something he didn’t want just because Hoseok asked...and he’d asked anyway. He and Jimin didn’t interact like this anymore. They hadn’t for a long time. If he was stronger, if he wasn’t feeling so pitiful and needy because of his head, he wouldn’t have imposed. But he missed his company. Enough that he had seriously considered having sex with him despite the pain he was in just for his presence. Even if Jimin was a little uncomfortable--even if they both were--he was still glad he was here.

“Frozen. Have you seen it?” Hoseok said, gesturing toward the TV. 

Jimin shook his head. “No. Have you?”

“A dozen times,” he admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“Oh.” Jimin’s eyes never left the TV and they fell back into silence. 

After a couple more uncomfortable, quiet minutes, Hoseok sighed, “We don’t have to do this, Jimin...you don’t have to stay if you can’t...” he said softly.

“What?” Jimin said, glancing sideways at him a little guiltily. 

“I’m sorry I asked...it’s really okay. I’m really okay...You don’t have to do this…” Hoseok smiled gently at him.

Jimin let his shoulders fall and bit his lip, “I’m sorry, H—. I’m just...I don’t know what this is.”

Hoseok frowned, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what should I call you? Are you hyung? Are you Hoseok?” He furrowed his brow. “Can I--can I touch you? What if I’m holding you and I want to kiss you...is that okay?” Your forehead? Your fingertips? Your lips? What are we right now?” 

His eyes were confused and apologetic and pleading and Hoseok swallowed the unpleasant lump that formed in his throat as he looked at him. He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. It’s not something Hoseok ever had to ask. He had a very strong, if arbitrary instinct about when they were Jimin and Hoseok and when they were Jiminie and Hobi. The instinct was guilt. When the guilt outweighed the pleasure, it was Jiminie and they were a platonic pair with boundaries. When it was more pleasure than guilt, he was his pet, so no friendly stuff. Easy. So Hoseok normally just knew when head kisses were okay and when lip kisses were okay. It’s not like there weren’t gray areas sometimes...like a few minutes ago when Jiminie had kissed him and asked him to fuck him and he didn’t register any instinct except pleasure. Which now made him feel guilty. But generally, it was clear enough to him.

But Jimin was still walking on eggshells. That was probably Hoseok’s fault. The lines that seemed clear to him maybe weren’t always the same for Jimin. He did seem to have a higher tolerance for fucking his hyung than Hoseok had for fucking his dongsaeng. He probably should have just let him leave. His head hurt too much to think about navigating this choppy water.

“I’m sorry, Jimin. I didn’t mean to make this awkward or confusing. I didn’t mean to put you in this position.” He sighed. “I have a headache. So there’s no pressure tonight. This won’t get physical. Call me hyung, we can cuddle a little, talk, laugh...strictly platonically.” He wouldn’t make Jimin more uncomfortable tonight. “Let’s try, just for tonight, being Hobi and Jiminie again. Does that sound okay?”

It sounded nice, in theory. Except Jiminie wanted to kiss Hobi. Jiminie wanted to tell him that even when he was feeling sick, he was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, Jiminie wanted to place tender, loving little pecks against his temples, his cheeks, his lips and call him baby and sweetheart and darling and hyung. Hoseok was operating under the assumption that if they removed sex from the equation, the tension would disappear. But there was no quashing Jimin’s romantic feelings. That would be there no matter the physical distance. The tension was always going to exist now. But...Jimin needed to be here for Hoseok. So he forced a smile and agreed to his “strictly platonic” terms. “Yeah, Hobi-hyung,” he said, nodding. “That sounds really nice.”  

Hoseok smiled at him gently but Jimin stayed where he was. He still wasn’t sure what was okay. What wouldn’t send Hoseok spiraling. So Hoseok made the first move.

“Would you...would you rub my temples a little, Jiminie?”

Jimin nodded. That was easy. He could do that. He pulled off his jacket and kicked off his shoes and sat back, and Hoseok flipped over to lay his head gently on Jimin’s lap. He tried not to think about how firm his thighs felt under him. 

Jimin carded his fingers through Hoseok’s fluffy hair for a second and then found his temples, rubbing the soft spots firmly. 

Hoseok sighed in relief as the pressure took the edge off the sharp throb in his head. “That’s really nice, Jiminie.” 

Jimin didn’t say anything but he kept massaging and after a few minutes, his fingers began to wander away from his temples and onto other parts of his head or his neck or his shoulders before moving back. His exploration was tentative but none of it caused Hoseok to tense or stop him so he was slowly easing into a more comfortable rhythm. 

Jimin’s eyes flicked back and forth between the movie and his hyung who was watching it with lidded eyes from his lap. The movie was cute. Pretty. Sweet. He could see why Hoseok liked it. Even the angst was inspirational. Another song came on and Hoseok started humming softly along and Jimin suppressed a coo.

“You really like this movie, huh?”

“Mmm. It’s pleasant.” A content smile drew his dimples from his cheeks. 

Cute .

Jimin’s hands returned to Hoseok’s hair, pulling his fingers through the soft strands fondly. “Remember the last time you had a headache like this, hyung?” he asked, smiling at the memory. “I made you soup.”

“I do.” Hoseok looked up at him. “I remember thinking ‘how is soup going to help my head?’” 

Jimin looked indignant and his smile grew embarrassed.

“--but it did make me feel better.” Hoseok continued, shifting back toward the TV, “Lifted my spirits…” 

“Do you want me to make you more soup then?”

“No,” Hoseok said softly, nuzzling a little deeper into his lap, “this is lifting my spirits enough.”

Jimin’s heart clenched. Painfully, joyfully...? It was too hard to tell these days. 

As the movie went on, they spoke more easily, laughing together at the silly parts, swapping roommate stories about Kook and Tae. They both loved their roommates but sometimes they liked to compare strange instances to see who had the weirder companion. Jimin almost always won. It had been a while since they had been able to gossip with each other about things they’d noticed the staff doing or complain about a tricky piece of choreo they’d been struggling with. Hoseok shared a lot of new details with Jimin about his project, and Jimin asked a lot of questions knowing Hoseok was dying to answer them. At some point, long after the movie had ended and the screen had gone black, Hoseok had ended up reclining against the arm of the couch with Jimin pressed against his chest and tucked under his arm.  

Jimin hadn’t meant to become the cuddlee but he was a natural little spoon and they just fit so well like this. Their legs tangled around each other and Jimin was bundled under the blanket with him. It was so comfortable. Jimin loved the way he could feel Hoseok’s chest vibrate against his cheek when he spoke. 

Before long, Jimin fell asleep there. Hoseok’s head was pounding. He hadn’t forgotten his headache while he was talking to Jimin but it had dulled into a background throb for the last two hours or so. Without the distraction Jimin provided, it was back with a vengeance and all he wanted to do was crawl in bed and put a pillow over his face to block the light out. But Jiminie was sleeping so soundly. Hoseok looked down at his face and couldn’t help but admire the view. His skin was so silky and it almost shimmered in the dim light. His eyelashes were long and thick and his soft lips, so kissable, were slightly parted. His chest moved up and down gently as he breathed and every exhale carried a sweet scent on it. Hoseok didn’t want to disturb him so he just stroked Jimin’s arm lightly and watched him until he too drifted off into a light slumber. 

Hoseok awoke to the sound of a door slamming shut. He opened his eyes and Jimin was still asleep in his arms, though he rustled slightly at Hoseok’s sudden movement. Hoseok quickly evaluated their posture checking to make sure they weren’t in a compromising position. Jimin’s arm had slipped around Hoseok’s back and he had shifted so that he was laying on top of him between Hoseok’s spread legs. It was close and if it had been any pair but he and Jimin, it might have been more suspicious but Jungkook would likely shrug this off as pretty par for the course for them.

Jungkook saw Hoseok’s head from behind the couch and headed toward him. “Hyung--I’m so sorry, I forgot about your hea—”

“Shhhhh,” Hoseok shushed him, motioning to Jimin as he came into Jungkook’s line of sight.

“Oh,” Jungkook whispered, his cheeks flushing a little pink. “Um...Is he okay?” 

Hoseok nodded. “He just fell asleep while we were watching a movie.” 

Jungkook looked at the dark TV and then back to Hoseok, confused.

“I fell asleep too and the TV shut off.” Hoseok explained. “I woke up when you came in.”

“Ah,” Jungkook nodded. “Want me to help move him off of you? Or...I can just go...if you want...”

Hoseok furrowed his brows at Jungkook and shook his head. “It’s fine, I’ll get him up.” He looked at Jimin still sleeping peacefully on his chest. Hoseok was content to just let him sleep but he was worried about what would happen if Jimin woke up slowly and said or did something explicit in front of Jungkook. It was better to make sure he woke him up and alerted him to Jungkook’s presence right away. 

“Hey Jimin,” Hoseok made sure to make his voice more matter-of-fact so Jimin didn’t mistake it for a sexy or sweet wake up. “Jungkook is here,” he said clearly. “Time to wake up and go back to your room.” 

Jimin was just starting to rouse. He heard Hobi’s voice tell him Jungkook was here and he was grateful for the warning because his instinct was to smile widely at him and cuddle deeper into his neck. 

Instead, Jimin was able to play it off. “Oh, hyung? Did I fall asleep? Is the movie over?” 

Hoseok smiled. Jimin sounded pretty natural, pretty seamless. Jungkook would buy it at least. “Yeah, I guess we both fell asleep. Thank Jungkook for waking us up so we didn’t end up with cramps or anything.” 

Jimin pushed himself up from Hoseok, his hands squeezing his thighs daringly as he did so. Hoseok glanced at Jimin warningly but the younger just smirked and kept moving. When he got off the couch he turned around and smiled at the maknae. “Thanks, Kookie.” He smiled warmly. “I think I’m going to head back to my room and go back to sleep.”

“G’Night, Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook mumbled, a little shy, as Jimin walked past him and out of the room.

“Goodnight, Kookie.” He looked back at Hoseok who raised his hand in a small wave, “Goodnight, hyung.” 

***

Despite the awkward wake-up, Jimin couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face as he made his way back to his room. Even as he slipped on his pajamas and crawled into bed he was still basking in the after-glow of his evening with Hoseok. Hoseok just made him so happy, deliriously happy. He’d never felt so thoroughly content in all his life than when he was falling asleep against Hoseok’s warm chest. He remembered feeling as he dozed off like he had the world in his arms. Like he had absolutely everything in Hoseok. A best friend he could rely on and laugh with endlessly, a confidant he could trust with his secrets and hopes and fears, a passionate and tender lover who knew his body as well as he knew his own. He felt like they could have a love for ages.

But lying here now with the lights off, listening to Taehyung’s quiet breaths, the magic of the evening faded and reality settled back in, warping the happiness of being in love with the most wonderful man in the world into the tragedy of being in love with someone who didn’t love you back. All the wonderful feelings Jimin had felt today were just that. Feelings . None of what had happened in there was real for Hoseok. Or, it was, but...it was different. It didn’t mean the same thing. In him, Hoseok saw a brother, a friend. Or a pet. Not both. Never both. And never a partner. Never a romantic interest. Never a future. 

Tonight, for the first time since they started fucking, the first time since Jimin had fallen in love with him, they looked each other in the eye and talked and laughed and flirted and shared and cuddled and it was so much better than Jimin remembered. It was the same old Hobi that he loved and adored from day one but Jimin appreciated every part of him so much more. Every fine detail he’d overlooked before jumped out at him now. Like the texture of his fingertips as they stroked his hand, the depth of his shy dimples that popped out when he pursed his lips, and the subtle rasp in his voice when he spoke in a low tone. Every joke he said made Jimin laugh harder and every story he told was that much more fascinating. For Jimin, it felt like the evening passed in slow motion. Hobi must have noticed a difference too. He had to have. It was so obvious how right they were. How perfect they were. How happy they made each other. 

Like the kiss from this morning that Jimin still felt on his lips, the evening had made him feel cautiously optimistic that this thing they had could evolve. That even if they could never be real, they could be happy. That this wasn’t all in his head. 

But the more rational side of Jimin told him that he was being stupid. That Hoseok didn’t love him like that. That he never would. That he couldn’t even look at him when they were physical. And that he should stop crying about it and just go to sleep.

Chapter Text

“No...I-I understand.” Hoseok stuttered, his knuckles white where they clutched the phone. “Yeah, nothing to be done…” He was holding his breath to keep his voice as stable as possible but he was reaching his limit. “It’s okay...Th--thank you.” He dropped the phone before the other line disconnected but he hoped it was far enough away from his face that the voice on the other end didn’t hear his choked sob.  

He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Stupid. Stupid. How many times had he let this happen? He knew better. But hoping was in his nature. It was in his name. He couldn’t help it. Site A was booked. Site B was under construction. It was too late to find a Site C. His project was postponed indefinitely. And there was nothing that could be done about it. 

Hoseok shook as tears fell down his face. He wanted to be able to handle this better but really how much was he supposed to take? The first time his project fell through he tried to look at the bright side--more time to practice, more time to perfect the concept, there were other things he had time for now. The second time it fell through, he tried to take it on the chin--things just sometimes work out like this and he just had to be patient. The third time he put on the bravest face he could muster but he started to wonder if it would ever happen. But this time...this time was it. He had no hope left for it. Not enough optimism left to convince himself that it was going to work out eventually. It was never going to happen. All that work, all that effort, all that passion, for nothing. 

He didn’t want to face anyone. They had all been so happy for him. They wouldn’t blame him, of course. But they would feel sorry for him and that was almost as bad. He’d have to shrug and smile and say things like “eh, I wasn’t really ready for it anyway,” “it’s probably for the best,” “there will be other opportunities…” He didn’t mean any of that and he certainly didn’t have the will or strength to pretend he did.

Maybe he could hide here in his room for a while. Let Jungkook tell them all. Jungkook had been on his bed at the beginning of the call. He left to give Hoseok some privacy when the nature of the call became apparent. He heard enough to understand what was happening. Maybe Kook would be kind and tell everyone before he had to. Maybe they would all just pretend that it had never been anything. Hoseok knew it wasn’t in Kook’s nature to gossip like that...but it would be nice.

Hoseok threw himself back on the bed, tears still streaming down his face as he fought against the heavy sobs rising in his chest. He didn’t know why he didn’t just let it out. No one was here. No one could hear him. He should just let it out . He didn’t want to admit this had beaten him. But it had. Hoseok felt lower than he could ever remember feeling. 

The seconds ticked by, or they must have anyway, but he made no notice of them. He thought he had stilled on the bed but his body somehow kept curling in on itself as if it was being crushed by some external force. He physically ached with grief and that sensation was so overwhelmingly strange and terrifying that he found himself pinching his own arms to feel something else. This was more than he could bear and as much as he told himself to breathe through it, to let it happen and pass, he was afraid. He forced himself to his feet, thankful that some part of his mind still had some control over his body. He stumbled to the door and down the hallway, his feet moving clumsily below him. 

He needed help. He needed Jimin. He wanted a hug. He wanted someone to hold him and stroke his hair and tell him everything was going to be okay. For him, that role in his life had always been filled by Jimin. It’s not who they were any more. It’s not what they did any more. And of all the things they’d sacrificed for their new relationship, that was the part he regretted most.

But Hoseok didn’t have a choice right now. He couldn’t get through this alone. He wished he could, but it was too much. He needed someone. He needed Jimin. And he had some hope after the other night that Jimin might be okay with that. 

Of course, the other night, there had only been lightness. It was nice, but it was superficial. No deep talks. No holding each other and crying. No facing each other in a state like the one Hoseok was in now. After all, this Hoseok was rare. He’d probably only felt this horrible half a dozen times in his life. Jimin had been there for him each of those times. He was sure he would be now too. But it would be different. 

Hoseok and Jimin didn’t do vulnerable anymore. Emotional closeness, emotional affection...that wasn’t something they were capable of anymore. It was too messy. Too awkward. But physical closeness, physical affection...he could give him that. And one hell of an orgasm, too. And that would have to do . Because Hoseok wanted to be so close to Jimin that he would be swallowed up by him. He wanted to absorb his light, his joy, his comfort. He wanted to feel it in his hands, taste it on his tongue, bury himself inside of it. Hoseok had never attempted to heal himself with sex because sex wasn’t a place for emotions. It never had been. But Jimin was. He’d always been a place for emotions, a place for healing. They’d always been that for each other. And now what they were for each other was physical release. He couldn’t ask for more. Not when just cuddling had been asking so much. Sex had to be enough.

He arrived at Jimin’s door and knocked, wondering if he looked as bad as he felt and suddenly wishing he had thought to stop crying and wash his face before coming here. 

Jimin opened the door quickly--like he’d been waiting for him. “Hobi,” he whispered. The look on his face told Hoseok that he probably did look as bad as he felt. “Kookie was just here. He said I should go check on you. He told me—I’m...I’m so sorry, Hoseok.”

Jimin reached out and grabbed Hoseok’s hand pulling him in and shutting the door behind him. 

“Sorry—” Hoseok croaked, his voice raw.

Jimin had never seen him so dejected. His whole face was red and puffy and his shirt was stained with tear drops that hadn’t dried yet. 

“I was trying to...handle it…” Hoseok kept pausing to scrunch his face, fighting back the emotion that was straining to show in what looked like a Herculean effort. “But it was...it was hard…” Hoseok’s voice cracked and faded as tears started to pour down his cheeks. 

Jimin was there before his tears reached his chin, throwing his arms around his neck. Hoseok’s arms wrapped around his waist, his fists closing tightly on Jimin’s shirt, and his forehead fell against Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin stroked the top of his head and pressed a kiss into it, his other hand rubbing his back affectionately, soothingly. The agony he felt feeling Hoseok’s tears fall on his shoulder was worse than any he’d ever felt on his own. He’d take Hoseok’s rejection a hundred times if he never had to see him cry again. Jimin felt tears well in his own eyes as he held him tighter. “It’s okay, Hobi. It’s gonna be okay.” He clutched him tighter. “Tell me how I can help, hyung,” he whispered into his ear, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. 

Hoseok took a few breaths before he answered. “Just be here with me.” He answered, his voice rough with emotion. “Just...let me have you.” 

Jimin choked back a small sob. Take me. “I’m yours, Hoseok.” However Hoseok heard that, Jimin meant it entirely. 

Hoseok’s arms tightened around Jimin immediately and he lifted him off of his feet, pressing wet kisses into his shoulder as he walked him back into a wall. Hoseok’s lips crashed into his, kissing him with a fervor that was darker and deeper than ever before. He pulled Jimin’s shirt off over his head and then they worked together on his own until their chests were bare against each other. Hoseok’s mouth returned to his and Jimin could feel the frustration, the pain in the sharp breaths he took against his lips. He could feel the angry tension in Hoseok’s muscles as the elder pinned his wrists to the wall behind him. He could feel the grief in the warm tears that fell from one of them...maybe both of them...against their cheeks. 

Jimin had imagined what it would be like to be used as a release many times. He had imagined it would feel less personal than this. Hot but degrading. That was part of the appeal. But this felt the opposite of impersonal. Right now, crushed between Hoseok and the wall, he suddenly felt like he was the only thing Hoseok had in the world. The way he touched him, the way he held him, the way he kissed him...it felt desperate. Full of need. Not just physical need. Spiritual need. Emotional need. Jimin had never felt so crucial to someone’s survival

Hoseok slid his hands down to Jimin’s thighs, clawing at the denim there until Jimin lifted them around his waist. Hoseok turned around, carrying Jimin to the bed, where he laid him down carefully but urgently, his grip never easing, his lips never stilling, his need never waning. He pulled Jimin’s pants and briefs down, not even pulling away for a glance and Jimin kicked them off while Hoseok worked to remove his own. Hoseok’s weight came down on Jimin and he pulled the younger’s legs back around his waist. Jimin’s hands ran up into Hoseok’s hair and he held him to him tightly.

Hoseok’s hand traveled down Jimin’s thigh, reaching, seeking, his fingers almost sinking through Jimin’s skin until he found what he was looking for. He gripped the head of Jimin’s plug and pulled it loose, causing Jimin to moan deeply into Hoseok’s mouth and his fingers to tug desperately at the inky tresses in his fists. 

Again there was no condom but Hoseok didn’t stop to ask if it was okay this time. Not because he didn’t care. Not even because he assumed Jimin wouldn’t mind. He just didn’t want to let go of Jimin, he didn’t want to break physical contact for even a second. And the idea of there being a wall between them tonight was somehow unbearable. It was just latex. But in his head it might as well have been brick. He didn’t want any walls...not even their metaphorical walls--professional expectations, sentimental fraternity...the things between them that made what they were doing unforgivable. Hoseok used his hand, slick with his spit, to guide himself into Jimin. Without the lubrication, it was rough but rough felt good. It felt real and firm and it distracted Hoseok from less pleasant things. From the little whimpers Jimin was spilling into his mouth, he seemed to think it felt good too.

Hoseok settled into a strong rhythm that he knew would give them both a slow build and keep them on the edge together. It was a natural pace, his instincts honed to respond to Jimin’s sighs and spasms. It was always so easy with him--physically anyway. 

Hoseok’s whole body was pressed against Jimin’s as he pumped into him. Hoseok nosed at Jimin’s chin encouraging him to raise it so he could have his neck. He wasn’t supposed to leave marks...neither of them were, not where it could be seen. That was one of their rules. But he sucked a little spot onto Jimin’s throat anyway. It started as a kiss but the way Jimin wiggled beneath him was too irresistible to stop. So he kept sucking until the spot purpled and Jimin’s whimpers became pained. He ran his tongue over it to sooth it and hoped fleetingly that Jimin wouldn’t be too upset at him tomorrow. 

Hoseok pulled back a little and raised his eyes, letting them travel over Jimin’s face. This was physically the closest they had been during sex. It gave Hoseok the opportunity to appreciate all the little details he missed before. Especially in his face. So many little fluctuations in his expressions that he’d never allowed himself to notice before. The little wrinkles that formed when his eyes squinted. The way his lips came together and then parted slightly to let out little moany breaths. The way his nostrils flared when he inhaled sharply in pleasure. So beautiful. There was something deeply intimate about fucking face-to-face like this. Which is why Hoseok had avoided it in the past. But now, not only were they face-to-face, they were clinging to each other. The instinct to cringe away, to pull back, to flip Jimin over so there was distance was strong. But Hoseok ignored it. He was just fine like this for now.

His lips moved up, across Jimin’s jaw, the skin there silky and warm. But he wanted more friction, more intensity, so he used his teeth to nip at Jimin as he went. He relished the way his skin gave as he pressed his teeth into it. He relished the way Jimin gasped as the pain of his bite melted into pleasure. Hoseok moved his lips back to Jimin’s and committed himself to getting lost in their texture, in the taste of his tongue. He was counting on them--on this, on Jimin--to take him away from this horrible place where nothing good was ever allowed to happen. 

Jimin was moaning torturously next to Hoseok’s ear. The sound was low and throaty. It was the sound Jimin made when the pleasure became more than he could make sense of. Hoseok knew it well but he’d never heard it so close. Jimin’s lips brushed across the side of Hoseok’s face with no real technique or intention, dragging wherever Hoseok’s thrusts pushed him. 

Though he’d set a pace that was meant to draw this out and drive them slowly to their ends, Hoseok already felt a ball warming in his stomach. As he clung to Jimin his thoughts became a cacophony. Loud, conflicting, jumbled. This felt so good. So perfect. But so ugly too. So painful. The strength of the emotion--whatever it was--made him feel like he was going to explode. For every ounce of joy there was confusion. For every jolt of pleasure there was a pang of regret. Prevalent among the melange--the loudest noise--was longing. Intense longing. For Jimin. Longing to have him. Longing to be closer. Longing for this to never have to end. This was already a lot. Jimin in his arms, under him, on him...he should be satisfied. He should be grateful. But he still needed more. He needed so much more. 

Jimin’s face was buried in his neck, and he felt his breath hot and heavy on his throat. He couldn’t explain why--he didn’t understand the desperation he felt flooding through him as he pumped into Jimin but he knew right now he didn’t want just another mind-blowing fuck. He wanted to fuck his Jiminie . The Jiminie he fell asleep with on the couch the other night. His best friend. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt that, not by a long shot. But it was the first time since the first time the thought wasn’t immediately silenced by shame. 

“Jiminie. Jiminie,” Hoseok whispered, the name coming in bursts through staggered breaths and feeling like a prayer between them. “Look at me, Jiminie.” He was speaking quickly, trying to get through to him before it was over. 

He wants me to look at him? Jimin finally made sense of Hobi’s pleas. He felt cautious but exhilarated. It seemed significant and he hesitated. He was scared of Hoseok’s motive. Why did he want him to look at him? Why now? What had changed? He was scared of giving himself up. When Hoseok looked at him, what would he see? From so close, would he see the hearts? Would he recognize them for what they were? Would he know what Jimin was hiding from him? He was scared of getting hurt. He didn’t want Hoseok to see him and then look away again, like he did the other night. But what if he didn’t look away? What if he saw him and he still wanted him? He had so much to tell him. So much he wanted to share with him. The pleasure, the gratitude, the desire...Jimin wanted Hoseok to see it. Finally . And he was so curious to see what was there for him in Hoseok’s too... 

So Jimin let his eyes flutter open. He searched for Hoseok’s gaze and found it quickly. His breath caught as he felt the fire and passion in them. The need in them. So fierce, so penetrating. But there was something else there too. Something softer. Something more vulnerable swirling in the deep brown pools. It made Jimin’s heart pound furiously. 

In contrast, Hoseok felt his heart stop when he met Jimin’s eyes. He didn’t know what he was expecting. Something scarier. Something accusatory. Something apologetic...But all he could see was his own awe reflected in the warm glittering orbs. Hoseok was mesmerized and the cacophony in his head fell silent. So beautiful. “Jiminie,” he whispered reverently. His whole body felt warm and he melted against him as his hand reached up to push the hair from Jimin’s face. 

Their rhythm became more perfect, their breathing synced, reacting to the expressions on each other’s faces not just the sounds they made or the ways their bodies moved and it was impossibly better . Hoseok placed little pecks against Jimin’s lips, cheeks, chin, never taking his eyes from the younger’s. 

“Hobi...Hobi…” Hoseok could see his name on Jimin’s lips but he couldn’t hear it. Maybe Jimin was scared to say it. But Hoseok wanted to hear it. He jerked his head in what he hoped looked like a nod and then Jimin’s lips moved again. “Hobi, yes. Oh!” It was a whisper between huffs now, but Hoseok responded to it like it was a scream. “Fuck me, Hobi.”

Hoseok pumped into Jimin faster. The desperate look in his eyes and the way they went in and out of focus as they held his, told Hoseok that he was close. Hoseok was right on the edge himself but he managed to keep his pace up with only mild stuttering. Jimin was whimpering erratically and his hands tightened in Hoseok’s hair. Within seconds Hoseok felt him tense beneath him. As Jimin released his load onto their stomachs, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

No! “Look at me, look at me!” Hoseok gasped as his climax built. 

Jimin fought to pull his eyes back into focus and find Hoseok’s again.

“Minnie—,” he choked the word out as he held Jimin’s gaze. He saw Jimin smile brightly at him and it was over in a burst of heat unlike anything he’d felt before. His eyes bore into Jimin’s still as his body convulsed and shivered and he was lost to the world for what felt like a lifetime. When his body finally relaxed, he blinked a few times and fell onto Jimin, burying his face in his neck, breathing in his glorious sweet scent as he pressed kisses into Jimin’s collar.

Jimin ran his hands up and down Hoseok’s back, his fingernails delicately scratching his hot, dewey skin. He kissed Hoseok’s shoulder and moved his hands down to cup his cheeks, holding Hoseok to him as they both recuperated from their intense finish. 

After a few more breaths, Hoseok rolled off of Jimin slowly. He felt his body tense as the euphoria dulled and he braced himself for whatever was coming. That was the most intense orgasm of his life but Jimin’s whimpered “Hobi”s still rang in his ears and each echo brought with it a pang of guilt. The stabs were building on one another rapidly and he could feel the impending tidal wave of shame about to crash down on him. 

Oh god. Oh god. Hoseok squeezed his eyes shut, the reality of what they’d just done--what he’d just done hitting him. That was a serious line they just crossed. He felt it, Jimin probably felt it. Everything about that was different. And that was on him. In the heat of the moment he had made the call to make it personal. His stomach knotted up so fiercely he was sure he was going to throw up. That was his dongsaeng that he just did that to. His bandmate. He was fucking Jiminie . What kind of a hyung was he? What kind of selfish, depraved, bastard...? He buried his face in his hands. He called me Hobi. Hoseok curled up slightly as the pit of his stomach churned again. 

That was selfish. All he did was take. He got what he needed out of that--he felt terrible now, worse than before, but it wasn’t about his failed project anymore, and he felt whole and happy during. While he was in his arms. But what about Jimin? Did he feel whole? Did he feel happy? Did Hoseok even care? He used Jimin to make him feel better. He took Jimin’s body (willingly given) and buried himself in it. Hid himself away deep inside. That wasn’t fair to Jimin. When he used him as part of their play, it was always for Jimin which made it okay. But this wasn’t for Jimin, this was for himself. Jimin didn’t need his Oppa or worse, his hyung, blubbering over him, trying to syphon off his joy, trying to bleed every drop of comfort from him. The warmth in his eyes, the tenderness, the desire--Hoseok fed on it. And where did it leave Jimin? Blinking under me, trusting me, relying on me to keep him steady and safe. Letting me use him, hoping that he’s enough. Because he’s too kind and giving and someone who lets other people take and just trusting that whatever I’m here for...whatever I’m doing is what’s best for both of us. But it’s not. This isn’t good for him. This isn’t good for either of us.

Jimin perched up on his arm a little watching Hoseok’s back silently and cringing at the way it shook with each ragged breath he took. Jimin could practically feel the self-loathing radiating off of him. He bit his lip to keep himself from crying. If he cried, Hobi would feel even worse. He’d think it was because he’d upset him. But Hoseok had just made him happier than he’d ever been. He was sad now--watching Hoseok regret it. Watching him sicken at the realization that it was Jimin lying next to him in the aftermath. But those 30 eternal seconds he spent making love to his hyung were the most important of his life. He wished he could tell him that. But Jimin knew that would make things so much worse. This couldn’t be a big deal. Hoseok had to believe that it didn’t mean anything more than it ever had. To either of them. That the undeniable increase in the power of their finale wasn’t about anything more than the added boone a personal touch was bound to provide. 

Jimin tapped Hoseok on his shoulder tentatively and Hoseok jumped at the contact. Jimin tried again, this time gripping his shoulder and pushing it down onto the mattress, trying to get Hoseok to face him. “Hoseokie, look at me.” 

Hoseokie? That was a new one. But then so was Minnie... Hoseok opened his eyes and raised them to meet Jimin’s. He squinted, trying to keep them from darting away again--but it hurt to look at him, now more than it ever had. He forced a smile at Jimin whom he could see was concerned. “Thanks, Jimini—Jimin. I feel better...really.”

“Do you?” Jimin asked quietly, a hint of a smile on his face. “Cause you look like you feel terrible. Was I that bad?” He knew he wasn’t but he was hoping that levity on his part might relieve a little of Hobi’s worry. If he could joke, obviously he was fine.   

Hoseok sighed and rolled his eyes but there was a little relief in his exhale. “You know you weren’t.” 

“You’re right.” Jimin agreed. “I was great. You were great. That was the best it’s ever been, don’t you think?”

Yes. He shook his head. “We shouldn’t have done that, Jimin. I shouldn’t have...We’ve got to keep things more...separate. More distant. That wasn’t okay.”  

“Why?” Jimin asked softly but with defiance in his voice. It was time to revisit this hypothesis of Hoseok’s. 

“It’s irresponsible.”

“You always say that…I never understand.”

Hoseok sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “What if Tae came to you and asked you to sneak out with him to go to a strip club. You knew that he wouldn’t go without you and you knew if you did go there was a good chance you guys could get caught by dispatch. But you wanted to do it too. You knew you shouldn’t. But it was so tempting and you really wanted to and maybe you convinced yourself you deserved it. So you not only agreed, you arranged the ride and bought the booze. Wouldn’t you feel terrible? Guilty? For letting Tae make such a bad decision? For being in the position to make the responsible call and then not? Knowing what it could cost Tae? Knowing what it could cost everyone?” 

Jimin heard the logic in his argument and begrudgingly felt the sense in it. It’s not that Tae couldn’t make his own decisions but Jimin was responsible for being the voice of reason. If they were both going to get up to some mischief, as the hyung, he was agreeing to be held responsible for whatever happened. But acknowledging Hoseok’s perspective just made him defensive. “So in this analogy, what we’re doing is just like sneaking out and going to a strip club? Something fun and harmless that you deserve? That’s what this is like to you?”

“No.” Hoseok said, his voice strong and matter-of-fact. “Jimin, this is much worse. What we’re doing is far more dangerous.”

Irritation flashed in Jimin’s eyes but he decided to placate instead, hoping it would calm Hoseok down. “Okay, I get it. I get that you feel bad...that you feel like you’re being irresponsible. But how does us looking each other in the eye change any of that?”

“It doesn’t,” Hoseok admitted. “It’s irresponsible either way...but it’s harder for me when I see you.”

Jimin felt his temperature rising, the verbal acknowledgment of Hoseok’s constant rejection hitting him like a truck. “Why then? If it hurts you so much that it’s me...that you’re sleeping with me...why are you doing it?”

Hoseok shook his head. “That’s not it, Jimin,” Hoseok said. “Being with you doesn’t hurt. Being with you feels so damn good . And THAT hurts. Because it should hurt. I’m your hyung . You’re Jiminie. And I’m Hobi. And we’re bandmates. And best friends. And...brothers,” he clenched his eyes shut. “And we’re doing that . It’s wrong.”

“You...you like that it’s me?” Jimin repeated, his heart tightening painfully in his chest. 

Hoseok looked at him exasperatedly, his eyes a little sad. “Of course, I like that it’s you. Jimin, I want you ,” he emphasized his declaration by reaching his hand toward Jimin’s face. He let it fall before he touched it but his eyes were sincere. “I want to see you and experience you. I want to be doing this with someone I care about so much.”

Jimin’s heart was thrumming erratically. Like a bird’s. Hoseok had confessed this so easily, it couldn’t possibly mean what he wanted it to. But it meant something. It meant that he was more than just a body to him. “And why is it so wrong for you to want that?” 

Hoseok closed his eyes. He looked tired. “Jimin, it’s inappropriate. It’s so inappropriate.”

“That’s not good enough.” It was the same vague argument Hobi had made a dozen times, since the beginning. Inappropriate. Jimin pushed back. “Tell me why a hyung shouldn’t fuck his dongsaeng, Hobi.” 

Hoseok visibly cringed but Jimin kept going. 

“I’m being serious, Hoseok. Because that seems like the perfect person to hook up with. Someone you love and trust and have a good time with. Who else should I be doing this with? A stranger? A random acquaintance with no reason to keep it private?” 

“So you’d be perfectly fine fucking Jungkook, then?” Hoseok fired back, sitting up. “You’d feel good about that? You wouldn’t feel like you were betraying him? His trust? Crossing lines? Taking advantage?”

Jimin froze, caught off guard. Because he would probably feel weird about fucking Jungkook. Even the thought of it made his stomach knot up. “Not—Not if he didn’t.” He tried to keep his body language from giving his discomfort away. “And I don’t. I don’t feel like you’re taking advantage or betraying my trust. I want this. I want to be doing this. With you. I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. I asked for this.” He wondered, hoped maybe, that there was something else...some other reason why Hoseok might feel like he wasn’t being straightforward...if maybe he wasn’t being honest with Jimin. With himself. About something. His feelings maybe. Jimin shelved the thought for now. “But this is different anyway. You and I...we’ve never been me and Jungkook. Or me and Tae or you and Yoongi or you and Joon...” 

Hoseok knew what he meant. There was an uncomfortable truth in that. Their chemistry had always been...different. Not less strong. Just...different. There was friction there where there had never been with any other pair in the group. But Hoseok wasn’t about to get into that right now. 

“Hobi, I know that tonight was...intense.” Jimin continued. “Intimate. But maybe that’s better. It felt better.” He paused and looked at his hands. “I know what you’re afraid of, Hobi...but I know...I know the difference between intimate and...romantic.” He felt selfish saying it. He did know the difference. But the difference didn’t matter to him. If intimate blurred into romantic, all the better. “And what we’re doing isn’t romantic. It’s just fun. It’s just sex.” The words burned in his throat. But this is how he got to keep this. “Don’t worry, you’ve been clear. You’ve done your duty. You’re not crossing lines or pressuring me or taking advantage. Yes, you’re my hyung but my interest in fucking you has nothing to do with that and everything to do with you being a person I am attracted to physically that I trust to keep this between us.” That wasn’t even scratching the surface. “Same with you right?”

Hobi just stared at him silently, giving nothing away. But he didn’t refute it so Jimin pressed on. “You think I’m attractive and you trust me. So we have sex. That doesn’t have to be important or complicated. It’s not important or complicated to me. Even with eye contact.” The lies were coming so easily now. It was all for the goal of appeasing Hoseok. Keeping him here with him. “You don’t have to keep me at a distance, Hoseok. I’m okay. What we did tonight was amazing and I’m perfectly okay about it. And we can keep doing it like that. All you have to do is decide to treat me like an adult. Like an equal. Like someone you respect and find capable of making their own decisions. If you can’t do that, then how can you call yourself a hyung to me anyway?” 

Hoseok stared at the wall mulling Jimin’s words as guilt battered him from the inside. He didn’t want to be talking about this. The elephant in the room. He hated that Jimin could read him so well. It’s not like Jimin was wrong. Hoseok was confident that he could separate intimacy and romance. He could have sex with Jiminie and keep feelings out of it but he wasn’t as confident in Jimin’s ability to do the same. The lines Hoseok drew were for Jimin’s sake. He couldn’t even imagine how exponential the guilt would be if Jimin...invested in him because he’d led him down this increasingly intimate path. 

“Hoseok...Hobi,” Jimin continued, placing his hand tentatively on the elder’s. “We’re not strangers, we’re best friends. We were never going to be able to bury that for long. And after the other night--god, after tonight--I don’t want to.” I never wanted to. “All I’m saying is that you’re putting so much work into maintaining this impossible distinction between Jimin and Jiminie and I don’t think it’s worth all that effort.”

It was easy for Jimin to say that. He didn’t have nearly as much of a reason to feel guilty as Hoseok did. He wished could find a way to not care that it was his dongsaeng he was having sex with. He wanted to enjoy it. Like he’d done tonight. He just couldn’t convince himself that it was okay to enjoy it. Surely he deserved to feel tortured about it. That was only fair, right? He deserved to be punished for putting Bangtan in such a dangerous place. For putting Jimin in such a precarious position. For choosing himself and his own pleasure over the well-being of his loved ones.

“Hobi,” Jimin said gently, pleadingly. “Can’t we just...can’t we just drop the veil? Can’t we just acknowledge who we are and what we’re doing and how much we want it? Don’t we deserve that?”

“No, Jimin,” Hoseok said, finality in his suddenly flat voice. “We don’t. At least I don’t. Because no matter how we spin this, no matter how we try to justify this, if we slip up, if we make one mistake, we ruin everything. We take away everything everyone in our company--our brothers have worked for. And I shouldn’t get to feel good about that.”

Jimin’s jaw tightened and his fists clenched tightly. He could feel anger swelling in his chest. Anger at the unfairness of it all. At Hoseok’s infuriatingly myopic sense of right and wrong. He was so stubborn and so determined to punish himself and he was punishing them both. And for what? He wanted to keep doing this because it felt good but he couldn’t let it feel too good? And he was willing to hang Jimin out to dry to do it? To keep this fragile, half-baked sense of justice to the whole thing? It was stupid. Hoseok was stupid. And Jimin was stupid for loving him.

“You should leave.” Jimin was trembling. 

Hoseok didn’t say anything, but his head dropped. He didn’t object or put up a fight or ask to stay. He just gathered his clothes quietly, dressed on his way to the door and slipped out without a glance back. 

Jimin, who had somehow managed to stand stoically by the bed as Hoseok left, collapsed forward onto his pillows, tears pouring down his face. Unlike his hyung, he didn’t try to hold it back. He wept loudly, for a long time, until the exhaustion from the exertion put him into an uncomfortable sleep.

Chapter Text

Hoseok stared up at the ceiling of the dark room, dim light from the early morning sun filtering in through the window. He didn’t sleep well. He tossed and turned and woke up thinking about Jimin not his project. He felt hungover. Which was strange. Even alcohol didn’t make him feel hungover…but his body felt tired and heavy in a way that made even the idea of moving untenable. 

So he didn’t. He laid there for an hour...maybe two...until Jungkook stirred awake. 

“Hobi-hyung,” Jungkook said, his voice raspy. 

Hoseok didn’t say anything, feigning sleep. He knew that Jungkook had probably seen his eyes open a moment ago but at least he could get a few more seconds of pretending everything was okay.

“Hobi-hyung?” Jungkook repeated, propping himself up and clicking on the bedside lamp between them. “Are you okay?”

Hoseok opened his eyes and sighed. “Yeah,” he said. 

Jungkook squinted at him. “You look like you didn’t sleep at all…” 

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. It was just a little argument.” 

“Sorry, hyung, I meant your project.” Jungkook said softly.

“What? Oh...yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine. I’ll get over it.” He shifted awkwardly and sat up, his back to Jungkook. “I’m gonna go shower.” 

***

Hoseok turned the shower head, flinching away from the pressure. Jimin liked his showers scalding. Jungkook liked them highly pressurized. Hoseok preferred them warm and trickly. Like a sun shower on a summer day. It was calming, pleasant. Pleasant enough that he got a whole minute and a half of relaxation before last night’s unpleasantness creeped back into his consciousness.  

He sighed and pushed his hair back, letting the water fall over his face. Last night was...dramatic. He’d made way too big a deal of it. Of everything. Jimin was right. It wasn’t that big of a deal. It felt like a big deal because he was vulnerable and upset and needy. It’s not like what he did was great. He definitely made it too personal and he shouldn’t have used Jimin the way he did...but his breakdown after the fact was the worst of it. And he felt so embarrassed now. He’d promised himself that he wasn’t going to show Jimin all of that angst and guilt. Because this is what would happen. He’d hurt Jimin’s feelings. Jimin would feel like he was doing something wrong or like Hoseok didn’t care about him. Although, Hoseok made it pretty clear that he probably cared about him too much last night. Which brought with it a whole host of new problems. But Jimin had taken that part pretty well, all things considered. He hadn’t been shaken up by the intimacy, he seemed reassured by Hoseok’s impromptu confession not scared by it, and he’d gone out of his way to explain to Hoseok that he wasn’t interested in anything more than sex either. That was all good. He wanted the connection but it wasn’t about romance for him. So if Hoseok could do connection without romance and Jimin could too, then maybe it was okay to “drop the veil” as Jimin called it. 

Or it would be if Jimin and he were still anything after last night. He was so upset. Which was fair. Hoseok had fucked him, made it personal, then lectured him about how they can’t make it personal. If he were Jimin, he’d be confused and pissed off too. He’d have to gauge how Jimin was feeling when he saw him today. His instinct was that Jimin was still in this...but he’d have to do some real smoothing over to make it up to him. 

But Hoseok may have underestimated how upset Jimin was. Jimin spent half his day ignoring him and the other half being openly hostile to him. Yoongi had gotten in his face about it earlier, reminding him to respect his hyung (which was a particular sore spot, obviously) and telling him to take it easy on Hoseok because he’d had a rough night what with his project falling through. Hoseok had called him off. He felt bad that Jimin was taking heat. Hoseok wasn’t the victim here...but it’s not like they could explain that to everyone else. RM had pulled Jimin aside to talk to him about his attitude too. And to top it off he was wearing a stuffy turtle neck, no doubt to hide the mark Hoseok had left last night and it did not look fun to dance in all day. By the end of their evening rehearsal, Jimin was in a worse mood than he’d started the day with.

Hoseok ate dinner with Yoongi and Jin who went back and forth between assuring Hoseok that there would be other opportunities for collaborations and pretending like nothing happened. It was awkward and unpleasant for all of them but Hoseok appreciated the effort. He hadn’t thought much about his project since last night. It was weird how that had so quickly become a minor concern to him. Jimin was nowhere to be found at dinner. Hoseok was sure the younger was avoiding him. He was probably off somewhere with Tae and Jungkook, finding a way to take his mind off their fight. 

After he ate, Hoseok made his way back to the dance studio. He wasn’t really there to dance. He would, to kill time, but he kind of hoped that Jimin would end up there tonight too and it would give them an opportunity to talk. He’d practiced his apology all day. He just wanted to tell Jimin he was sorry and that he’d do better. He heard music as he approached the studio door and when he pushed it open he found Jimin already in there with Jungkook. They were dancing and laughing and Hoseok was glad to see Jimin’s mood had improved until his smile suddenly turned into a glare when he noticed his presence.

Jungkook gave him a big smile though, “Hi hyung! Did you come to practice?”

Hoseok nodded, “Yeah, Kook. Just gonna freestyle a little.” He gave him a small smile back and crossed the room. “If that’s okay with you guys?”

Kook nodded eagerly but Jimin rolled his eyes and looked away, pursing his lips tightly.

Hoseok thought about leaving, but it would be awkward to just walk out now. And he hoped being in the same room as Jimin might force his hand a little. Surely he couldn’t just ignore him when they were in constant proximity with so little company. Plus, they had always liked watching each other dance. So he dropped his bag and took off his jacket and started stretching.

He danced for an hour, maybe more. He was being a little shameless he knew, his freestyling a little more provocative than usual. He knew Jimin was stealing glances because he was too and they kept accidentally catching each other at it. Jimin wasn’t exactly sticking to modest choreo either. 

What are you looking at, Jung Hoseok? What did he want? After their fight last night, Jimin wasn’t sure where they were. Hoseok seemed like he just wanted to forget about it. He’d seemed apologetic, but that wasn’t good enough. He shouldn’t just get to be sorry and then sweep it all under the rug. Jimin didn’t want an apology. He wanted...well he wanted Hoseok to love him back. But if he couldn’t have that, he’d settle for Hoseok treating him like an equal for a change. 

Maybe he was reading him wrong. Maybe Hoseok was going to end it. Maybe he’d decided yesterday was as clean a break as they were going to get. But Jimin wasn’t going to let him get off that easy either. If Hoseok wanted to end it, he was going to have to say it to his face. 

But Hoseok was still on the other side of the room, stealing glances, but making no attempt to engage him. He was just sitting down on a little folding chair by the mirror, still peeking up at him. It was infuriating. Just come over here and talk to me. Kick Jungkook out and talk to me. Hoseok looked up at him again and Jimin had enough. Fine. If he just wants a show…

“Jungkoo-ah!” Jimin hollered over the music catching both of the other boys’ attention. “Come here!” Jimin put a cheeky smile on his face as the younger stopped dancing and came to him. 

“You were dancing in front of me in the mirror…!” Jimin whined, his eyes getting wide and accusatory but an impish smile still on his lips.

Jungkook smiled back, “Sorry Jimin-ssi, I forget you’re so short you disappear entirely behind me…”

Jimin feigned a shocked pout, aiming a playful kick at the younger’s butt in response to the jab he coaxed out of him. And just like that, Jungkook was engaged in the playful fight Jimin was looking for.  

Hoseok’s mouth twitched as he watched Jungkook and Jimin in the mirror. He tried to be discreet--he had his head angled down and he was tapping his phone occasionally like he was reading on it. He was trying to ignore them. He told himself to ignore them. But they were being so loud. Giggling and shouting and calling each other by cutsie nicknames. Jungkook said something to Jimin--probably about his height (or lack thereof)--and Jimin had responded by playfully kicking Jungkook. Hoseok’s eyes lingered on the way his thigh flexed in his jeans as he extended it. Now Jungkook was chasing Jimin around and poking him, a delicious peal of laughter spilling through the blonde’s plush lips. 

Jungkook caught Jimin by his shirt and pulled him onto his lap as they fell back onto the sofa pushed against the wall. He was so much bigger than Jimin and he pulled him down so easily. Jimin fell against him with grace, his back pressed against Jungkook’s wide chest as his arms closed in around him. Hoseok turned his whole body to watch them now. He knew his irritation was showing all over his face--he was sucking on his teeth and shaking his head and rolling his eyes--but he couldn’t help it. 

Jungkook rolled over, gaining a position of dominance over the blonde. He moved his hands to Jimin’s waist tickling him, and the younger fell back onto the couch, giggling. Jungkook stayed with him, following him down, still tickling and laughing along. Jimin’s shirt had rucked up in the horseplay and Hoseok watched as Jungkook’s hands traveled along Jimin’s exposed abdomen and their faces moved to within inches of one another. They were so close to each other they could probably feel the heat of each others’ breath. Jimin’s lips were so pale--they were begging for blood to be pulled into them by another set of lips. And Kook’s were right there. He swore he could see them twitching in anticipation. He felt his face start to get hot as his temper flared. 

Enough. Jimin was doing this on purpose. He knew it. But it didn’t change anything. It was still hard to see. It was one thing to know that he might never get to touch Jimin like that again but it was entirely another to have to watch someone else do it in his place. Hoseok got to his feet angrily and crossed the room, passing Jimin and Jungkook on the couch without sparing them a glance. He yanked the door open and slammed it behind him as he left. 

The sound pulled Jimin and Jungkook’s attention away from each other. “Was that Hobi-hyung?” Jungkook said, his brows furrowed in confusion. He turned back to look at Jimin and his eyes widened in surprise as he realized suddenly how close he was to Jimin’s face. “Oh!” He looked down at the position they were in. He was bent over Jimin who was on his back with one leg pinned under him and the other slung over his hip, and his hands were quite low on Jimin’s stomach. This hadn’t felt weird to him before--touching Jimin like this--but it did now. He scrambled backward, off of Jimin. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook said quickly, getting to his feet as Jimin propped himself up, his expression fearful and sincerely apologetic. “Tell Hobi-hyung…sorry.” Jimin was breathless but Jungkook grabbed his bag and ran out of the room before he could say anything.

Jimin fell back on the couch, the smug expression on his face fading into something sadder. That was petty. But it seemed like something Hoseok deserved. And he had to admit it made him a little tingly that it worked. That Hoseok got jealous. Jimin had made a lot of boys jealous in his time and he always relished it...but this was better. Because all he wanted in the world was any sign that Hoseok wanted him. Seeing him get possessive like that was so satisfying. Hoseok didn’t just want Jimin, he wanted him to himself. Jimin felt drunk with that knowledge. He looked back at the door, his body suddenly warm with need. He wanted Hoseok to come back. Barge back in, yell at him for flirting with Jungkook, and remind him who his Oppa was. He wanted him to take him right here on this sofa, in the room where they danced together, their passion reflected back on them by the countless mirrors. 

But the thought died before it went anywhere. Jimin was still so mad. And he still wanted Hoseok to be the one who apologized. Hoseok was in the wrong. What Jimin pulled with Jungkook wasn't nice. But it didn’t mean they were even either. 

***

Hoseok paced in his room, back and forth along a six foot patch of carpet, trying to let the soft texture under his feet sooth him. But it wasn’t working as well as he would have liked. Jealousy, huh? That was new. Stupid . He had no reason to be jealous, and nothing to be jealous of. But that didn’t change the fact that watching Jungkook and Jimin get that physical had made him feel insecure and angry. He’d never been a possessive person. Logically, it made no sense for him to feel threatened by what happened. What was it to him really if Jimin fooled around with the other guys? And he wasn’t even fooling around, he was just flirting. What was it to him if Jimin flirted with Jungkook? Jungkook wasn’t interested in Jimin--not like that. And even if Jimin was interested in Jungkook, he was free to do whatever. They’d made each other no promises or commitments. And Hoseok was largely responsible for that so he had no cause, no right to get possessive. Jimin was his in his bedroom. But outside of that, he and Jimin weren’t anything. Jealousy was a waste of emotion.

But that didn’t stop him from feeling it. Maybe if they were something, he’d have more justification for getting so worked up. Maybe he’d like for them to be something ...not like relationship something--Hoseok didn’t like Jimin like that. He wasn’t interested in a romantic thing, that’s not what this was about. But...there was definitely something about being with Jimin that was important to him, something that he wanted all to himself. And being with Jiminie ? That was even better. He’d kept himself from enjoying him like that because he was afraid. Jiminie had always been undefinabley...special...somehow, ever since he met him. He just didn’t know what would happen if he crossed that bridge. But last night he had and nothing horrible or destructive had happened. The world was still spinning, Hoseok still knew who he was and who Jimin was and what their obligations were… It was intense, but...manageable. Of course, the guilt was heavier...but it didn’t kill him. And Jimin seemed fine too. 

And it was so good . Different than anything he’d ever experienced. Before Jimin, Hoseok had never noticed anything lacking in his sex life. If you’d asked him a couple of months ago he probably would have bragged that it couldn’t be much better. The rush he got from aggressive, anonymous, passionate-but-detached sex was incredible. He’d never questioned that that was as good as it got. He’d never imagined there might be something better. 

But a lot had changed. The way he went about dominating had evolved since he started playing with Jimin. The familiarity, the affection, the friendship, the love between them added another seismic element. It had softened him in a lot of ways. He was more hesitant, less aggressive, definitely more insecure. The aftercare was awkward and there was a lot of complicated tension. It was hard to be mean to Jimin. Amazing--Hoseok had never loved calling someone his dirty slut so much before--but it was confusing. He looked in his cherubic face and saw something he cherished. Something he felt a primal urge to protect and comfort. But there was also a far more intense desire than he’d ever felt to hurt and humiliate and degrade. It was incredibly difficult to grapple with in the aftermath. When Jimin turned back into his dongsaeng. Knowing that he’d put bruises on his body and fear in his eyes...the pleasure it had given him during was just barely enough to make up for the guilt he felt remembering it. 

But somehow--even with all those negatives--it was unquestionably, exponentially better. The chemistry, the connection, the trust, the willingness of Jimin to give himself over entirely in a way that allowed Hoseok to feel the most intoxicating sense of power, the frenzy that always came over them both when their desire had built to its peak, it was perfect. Even the sounds they made seemed to be in harmony. Hoseok’s desire for Jimin was stronger than it had been for anything, his attraction to him unmatched. And his orgasms...he never knew it could be so good.

But in retrospect, that all made sense. It was entirely natural. When they started, the whole concept of fucking someone you had a personal relationship with was entirely novel to him so he just assumed it would be the same as fucking anyone else but he should have known better. Of course it would be different . Of course he would pay more attention to the way their bodies met and fit together and how they could gain the most pleasure from one another. They knew each other so well so much of it was intuitive. And they shared pleasure. There was an unconscious co-feeling that happened. When one was happy the other was because of it. So when one was in ecstasy the other was too and their ecstasy was doubled. The existing relationship finessed the process and enhanced the payoff. That’s all it was . The intensity of their casual sexual relationship made perfect sense. 

And last night . The sex he and Jiminie had last night was the best ever. Not just between them but in his life. He was never going to forget how that felt, how powerful his orgasm had been. Acknowledging that it was Jiminie--not just knowing intimately the body he was moving with, but knowing intimately the thoughts and feelings of the person he was moving with--it was somehow even better still. But that made sense too. There was more trust, they weren’t just relying on physical cues to gauge and enhance pleasure, and there were more positive emotions at hand. Love, care, humor, friendship...all of that buoyed the sexual attraction and amplified the overall pleasure and made the whole experience more perfect. It was only natural

There was no reason for Hoseok to fear it--to worry that it was anything more than that. For either of them. So he was going to try this for real. He was going to be Hobi and have a sexual relationship with Jiminie and he wasn’t going to let it destroy them.

That is, assuming that’s still what Jimin wanted. He didn’t really know where Jimin stood. The intentional baiting in the studio was a good indication that Jimin was still upset but that he was still invested at least. That’s what mattered. As long as Jimin would give him another chance. Really Hoseok just wanted everything to be okay again. 

He got to his feet and walked out of his room. It was late now--the odds of Jimin still being in the studio were slim, but he had to check. He didn’t want to go another night with this hanging over their heads if he could avoid it at all.

***

“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok shook Jimin gently awake. Hoseok had found him where he left him, asleep on the sofa in the studio, his mouth hanging open and his hair mussed in a painfully adorable manner. The music was still playing when Hoseok walked in but he shut it off and turned off half the lights so it would be more pleasant for Jimin to wake up to. “Jimin-ah…”

“Hobi-hyung?” Jimin’s eyes opened, his gaze far away as he came to. He smiled when he saw Hoseok and Hoseok smiled back, enjoying the affection while it lasted--which wasn’t long. “Hoseok.” Jimin sat up quickly and scoot away from the elder, his face adopting a scowl. 

“Jiminie,” Hoseok said, his tone already apologetic. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Jimin, I know things got a little confusing last night.”

“It’s not just last night, Hoseok.” Jimin snapped at him. 

“I know but--”

“You don’t know!” Jimin yelled, pushing himself to his feet. “Hoseok, I can’t do this anymore!” It was an empty threat. He would do this until Hoseok stopped letting him. But he wanted Hoseok to know how angry he was...how unfair he was being. “You can’t keep sending me mixed signals like that! All your stupid rules, your arbitrary lines...they make no sense! I can’t just know when you’re seeing me one way or another. You won’t let me backhug you one minute but the next you’re pulling me into a closet for a handjob. A week ago you wouldn’t look me in the eye when we were having sex and then last night...last night you begged me to look at you.” Jimin’s voice was growing louder and higher in pitch with each word. “I’m getting whiplash, Hoseok! I don’t understand what you want from me. Who you want me to be. You keep changing your mind but you act like I’m just supposed to know. And then you get mad at me when I don’t. Hoseok, I’m walking around with a plug in my ass! As far as I’m concerned you’re always Oppa and you’re always Hobi! You say you want to be doing this with me...but how am I supposed to believe that when most of the time you work so hard to pretend I’m anything but?”

Hoseok winced. “Jimin, I know. You’re right--”

“Don’t apologize. I can’t hear it again.”

“I’m not,” Hoseok said quickly. “Well, I guess I am, but what I’m trying to say is, I don’t care anymore. I mean, I care...of course I care. But...not enough anymore.”

Jimin’s shoulders lowered a little, a visible sign that he was letting his hackles down just slightly. “What?”

“Can I talk...I...I rehearsed…” Hoseok smiled a little sheepishly. 

Jimin swallowed and crossed his arms, his lips pressed into a steely line. “So talk, then.”

Hoseok paused, taking a breath before he began. “When I had sex with you that first time, I thought it would just be a one time thing and I did consider briefly that the aftermath might be a little messy but it never occurred to me that it would get so so complicated. But...then it did. So quickly. I saw how traumatized you seemed the morning after and I felt terrible...because I knew better. I felt like you trusted me to use good judgment and you never would have slept with me if you had known what could happen. I did know . But I didn’t warn you, I didn’t try to talk you out of it. I just...took advantage of your inexperience and you were so messed up about it for days. Jiminie, that...that killed me.”

Jimin flinched a little and hugged himself tighter as Hoseok’s voice cracked. 

He cleared his throat and continued. “And yet in spite of that, I did it again and again and again and each time we were risking everything and I still just let it happen. And the guilt, Jimin, the guilt was so strong. The only time it ebbed was when we were together. But it never went away entirely or for long. Keeping things separate helped. The more that I was able to convince myself that I wasn’t doing what I was actually doing, the better I was able to sleep at night. And I thought it made it safer for both of us too--distance protected us from the guilt and embarrassment but also from...well anything else that might surface. I was just trying to strike a safe balance. The unintended side effect of that was hurting you. And once I realized I was...before Japan...there was guilt about that too. Being close was hard. Being distant was hard. That’s when I realized there was really no right way to do this.” 

Jimin’s eyes narrowed as he listened and his hands fisted into the sleeves of his shirt. “So you don’t want to do this then. Because it’s hard?” he sneered, but his voice was more sad than angry.

“That’s not what I said, Jimin,”

“So, you do want to do this?” Jimin was becoming more agitated.

“Can you come sit down, please?” Hoseok asked patiently.

Jimin was pacing and wringing his hands nervously. He was so scared of what Hoseok was going to say, but it didn’t sound like he was going to end it, so Jimin sat down next to him, his body stiff with anxiety.

Hoseok raised his hand and swept Jimin’s hair out of his face. “Jimin. I want to do this so much,” his hand cupped Jimin’s face and Jimin leaned into it, his hard, icy demeanor melting in the tenderness of the gesture, and Hoseok felt a tear hit his hand. Hoseok pulled Jimin into his chest as Jimin let out a soft sob. “Do you still want to do this?”

Jimin’s hands tightened into Hoseok’s sweater now. He was so tired. “Hobi,” he said, his voice soft and more pitiful than he would have liked, “I don’t want to pretend like I’m not me and you’re not you anymore. I want to be able to lay in bed with you after and talk about how crappy an interview went or laugh about something stupid Tae said…I want you to be my best friend before, during, and after.” He pulled back and looked at Hoseok, wiping the tears from his face and swallowing so he could speak firmly. “And if you can’t do that, then I don’t know if I want to be doing this anymore.” 

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s face again and ran his thumb over his cheeks, catching the hot tears that fell there, “Jiminie...I wouldn’t have said we should keep doing this if I wasn’t ready to do this as us, okay?” 

Jimin’s face scrunched as more tears welled up, “Really?” he asked, his voice quivering.

Hoseok smiled widely, a crinkle reaching his shimmering eyes, “Really, Jiminie. I’m just going to find a way to live with being a hyung that fucks my dongsaeng.”

Jimin’s face lit up so brightly and Hoseok felt his heart explode. For whatever was going to come of this, Jimin’s smile certainly made it feel worth it. For now at least. 

Jimin launched himself at Hoseok burying his face in his neck and knocking him back into the couch. “Thank you, Hobi!” Jimin gushed, “Thank you!” 

“Please don’t thank me, Jimin-ah.” Hoseok said softly, stroking his back. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

Jimin was laughing, sobbing...he was elated. This wasn’t everything. He wasn’t getting everything. But he was getting more . More than he had yesterday. More than he’d dared hope for. And he was grateful. “Hobi,” he said, “Hyung...will you kiss me?”

There was no hesitation as Hoseok leaned over and pressed their lips together, moving them slowly and softly against the younger’s. When he pulled back a second later, he touched his lips and chuckled a little. 

“What?” Jimin said, he looked a little worried.

Hoseok ran his fingers through Jimin’s hair, “Nothing. That...that was just easier than I thought it would be.” There was Jimin’s smile again. He could get used to how much lighter it looked. 

“Then can you kiss me again?” Jimin asked, lips parting as his eyes locked in on Hoseok’s mouth.

Hoseok pursed his lips, “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have Jungkook do that?” he teased.

Jimin’s cheeks flared pink and he hit him on the chest. “No,” he said, “I wouldn’t rather have Jungkook kiss me…”

“Oh?” Hoseok said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Are you sure? He’s strong and sexy and probably would be up for it--I mean, you guys were getting awfully close on this couch...” Hoseok could hear the bitterness in his words and he scrunched his face, embarrassed. 

Jimin couldn’t help the smug smile that spread across his face as he repositioned himself on top of Hoseok. “You’re stronger and sexier,” he said, leaning down to kiss his neck. Hoseok knew he wasn’t. But strangely, he believed Jimin meant it. And it made him feel shy. And silly.

“Stronger and sexier than Jungkook?” he raised his eyebrows. “Wow. I must be really strong and sexy.” 

Jimin nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “Mm-hmm. The strongest and the sexiest,” he placed another hot kiss on his neck.

Hoseok laughed. “Well, I’m sure Jungkook will be disappointed that you’re not interested,” he said.

“Oh, devastated. But he’ll get over it.” 

“Hopefully.” Hoseok laughed. He glanced over at the mirror and caught his and Jimin’s reflection. His first thought was that the image was really hot, Jimin on top of him, ass in the air, his tight pants stretched taut over his curves. But then he realized where they were and how explicit the position they were in was and he put his hands on Jimin’s waist. He pushed him up and sat up, putting distance between them.

Jimin tensed instantly, his hackles rising defensively but Hoseok shook his head, “It’s not that Jiminie. It’s just, we’re in the studio. Anyone could walk in. Just because we’re being more personal, doesn’t mean we can get sloppy. If anything we have to be more careful.”

Jimin looked cautious but he nodded. It’s not like he expected Hobi to be able to change over night but he hoped his hesitation was purely about location and not about them. For now, he would give Hobi the benefit of the doubt. He was right after all--this was neither the time nor place for this. Even if it would be really fucking hot--he made a note to ask Hobi about mirror sex in the future . “Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Jiminie,” Hoseok said, “I want to. But honestly, I barely slept last night...I’m so exhausted.” 

Jimin’s shoulders fell.

“And you, you fell asleep on this sofa...you must be tired too…”

Jimin stifled a yawn. He was. He was really tired, now that Hoseok mentioned it. Bed was a good idea. And tomorrow they’d wake up and Jimin wouldn’t have to worry about whether to call the raven haired beauty across from him hyung or Hoseok next time he saw him.

“Can I walk you back to your room?” the raven haired beauty asked, holding out his hand.

Jimin smiled and took it, squeezing it tightly as he followed his hyung out of the studio.  

 

***

It was Thursday morning--early, too early--two days since Hoseok and Jimin had worked things out in the studio. Hoseok had left that talk feeling trepidatious but optimistic, eager to see what their new arrangement meant for them. He had the impulse to prove himself to Jimin. To let him know that he was really going to try and not just for Jimin but for both of them. 

And that started with letting him know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was special to him. Jimin had looked so touched and grateful when Hoseok promised that he liked that it was him he was having sex with. Hoseok knew how badly he’d hurt him by blurring him out. He hadn’t been aware that Jimin knew he was doing it until recently...and he hated that he’d made Jimin feel so used and unwanted. He wasn’t going to let that happen again. From this point on he wouldn’t let Jimin forget that he was the only one he wanted to be doing this with. 

Hoseok spent hours the night they made up trying to come up with a gesture or gift that would help convey that sentiment. Something that said, “I want all of you and only you”...but in a totally non-romantic, strictly sexual way. It would be a fresh start for them. He finally came up with an idea he was really proud of and he spent the next day figuring out how to make it happen. And it was difficult to work out. He had to pull a lot of strings and today, he’d have to be really discreet as he went to collect it. But he was sure it would be worth it. He was confident Jimin would like it and it would say exactly what he needed it to. He couldn’t wait to see his face when he gave it to him.

Hoseok slipped out of bed and put on the most nondescript clothing he had--which was his first tricky task of the day. His wardrobe was particularly ostentatious. But he found a pair of blue jeans that didn’t have too many exaggerated features or rips and paired it with a plain (though still incredibly expensive) black hoodie. He slipped on a black mask and a black bucket hat that he pulled low over his eyes and finished the look with a pair of white high-top converse. He looked in the mirror and thought he could pass for plebeian so he grabbed his credit card out of his acorn bag and slipped silently out of his room. 

He walked in the dark of pre-dawn down the sidewalk. It was sprinkling so the street was wet and shiny. He thought it was pretty but he wished he hadn’t chosen white canvas shoes--they were already stained a little grey. But he wasn’t going far and the weather gave him an excuse to hide underneath an umbrella. To be fair, the umbrella wasn’t as discreet as the rest of his outfit but he only had the one and he really liked the pattern--big fluffy, white clouds on a bright, blue background--it was like he was his own sunny day. He’d managed to elude the staff on his way out--no one was up at 5 am. No one except for him and the owner of a small specialty boutique a couple of blocks away whom he was on his way to meet. He couldn’t help but hum a little on his way, a skip in each step.

Chapter Text

Hoseok : Wanna come watch a movie?

Jimin : Sure! Is Kookie joining us?

Hoseok : Nope. He’s got a video project he’s working on in his studio. I guess he’ll be out all night.

Jimin smiled to himself. This was just what he needed. He was on edge--had been all day. The last time they were together, Hoseok had promised him that they would be together as themselves from now on. He’d seen changes already, small ones, in the way they interacted during the day among the group. Hobi genuinely seemed less tense and jumpy. Jimin had initially been worried that he was all well-intentioned talk. He believed that Hobi wanted their relationship to change as they’d discussed but he didn’t have a lot of faith that he could actually get over all of his many hang ups. Guilt isn’t something you can just choose not to have. He was prepared to give Hoseok a lot of slack. But he hadn’t needed it yet. He was feisty and affectionate and flirty...just like he’d always been. Like he hadn’t been in so long . Jimin was feeling very optimistic that this ease would carry into their more private meetings too.

Jimin : “Ah, too bad. Well, I’ll come around around 7. Is that okay?” 

Hoseok : Yeah. Ah, and Jimin-ah...no need to prepare anything. I have everything we need.

Hoseok hoped that was clear enough. It was pretty explicit of course, but out of context it wouldn’t mean anything too obvious. It was generous of Jimin to prepare himself--he rarely went a day without making sure he was ready for anything. It had been a big time-saver for several of their stolen moments. But they had plenty of time tonight and Hoseok missed putting in the work. 

***

Jimin arrived at Hoseok’s door at exactly 6:59 pm. He didn’t want to seem too eager so he waited patiently outside the door watching his watch. He fiddled with the hem of his sweater, pulling at the ivory cashmere absently. He suddenly wished he’d thought to change into something a little sexier. His blue jeans were tight but that was largely wasted by the long length of his fuzzy top, and the arms of his sweater were so long they partially covered his palms. He hoped Hoseok was really ready to drop the walls because there was no way this outfit was going to hide “Jiminie” enough for Hoseok to get in the mood. He glanced down at his watch and counted the 14 seconds left until 7:01 and smiled when the minute hand finally clicked forward. He raised his hand to knock, but the door opened before he could and Hoseok was there with a wide smile across his face. 

Jimin raised his eyebrows at him. “Someone was eager to see me…” he said.

“I saw you through the peephole, Jimin.” Hoseok laughed. “I know you were waiting there too. Watching your watch…counting the seconds...”

Jimin blushed and pushed his way in. “Whatever,” he said, smiling as he put his bag down and took his shoes off. 

Hoseok shut the door behind them and deadbolted it before turning around to watch Jimin make himself comfortable. He looked cute. So cute. Soft and small and blushy swimming in his off-white sweater that looked beautiful against his rosy complexion. He was humming a little and there was a relaxed smile on his face. It was soothing to Hoseok who was feeling a little jumpy himself--but it was a good nervous energy. He had a reflex to put his guard up--to separate this from reality like he’d done for so long. To start the process of transforming him in his mind and inserting the distance. But he suppressed it. He hadn’t realized how much energy that took before. He’d always considered the need to obliterate “Jiminie” an instinct--a protective reflex. But now that he was trying to obliterate the lines instead of his dongsaeng, he realized it had actually taken a lot of effort to maintain the distinction. It would be tough to fight the habit, but it would be way easier than he’d imagined to see the boy in his room as who he’s always been.  

Jimin turned back around toward Hoseok and his smile shifted to something more playful. He moved in close to him, seductively but slowly, like he was trying to gauge if Hoseok was in the right space so as not to spook him. But Hoseok was ready and he wanted to reassure Jimin that he didn’t have to be anything but himself tonight. He reached out and grabbed Jimin’s hips, pulling him in and kissing him deeply. He felt Jimin smile against his lips. His fingers dug a little more tightly into Jimin’s side, feeling his heart thud as he worked hard to keep his hackles from rising up between them. He tried to focus instead on how good this felt. How satisfying this felt. From the second he saw him through the peephole. This is Jiminie and I’m kissing him and I’m okay with that. I’m going to be okay with that. They stood there for a minute, noisily tugging at each other’s lips. Both of them could tell that they were eager to explore what they were like together now--it already felt new, and different than it had before--but they took their time. They had all night, after all. Hoseok was the first to stop the kiss, minutes after it began. He grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him toward the couch.

Jimin resisted and tugged Hoseok toward the bed but Hoseok just smiled and continued leading them to the couch. “C’mon, Jiminie. I picked a good movie,” he said.

Jimin pouted. “We’re actually going to watch a movie?” 

Hoseok shrugged. “The last time we watched a movie, things were awkward and we weren’t sure how to act with each other. This time, things are clearer. And I want to sit all curled up with you under a blanket and watch the movie like we used to do. Okay? Only…” Hoseok smirked a little, “this time I want to make out a little too…” 

Jimin’s eyes sparkled at the suggestion, a smile on his face. He looked a little emotional. Proud maybe, touched. 

“It’ll be fun. It’s what Hobi and Jiminie would do, don’t you think?” Hoseok said.

“Yeah. I do.” Jimin’s heart was stuttering again. Hobi would be the best boyfriend. He was so romantic. Except he wasn’t his boyfriend and this wasn’t romantic. Jimin willed himself to remember that as he allowed Hoseok to pull him to the couch and sat down next to him. He curled up under Hoseok’s arm as the elder switched on the TV and started the film. 

Jimin rested his head against Hoseok’s arm and sighed happily as the elder’s gentle fingers trailed up and down his arm. It felt so tender. This is how it should have been from the start. Him, snuggling with his hyung, enjoying each other’s caresses with the knowledge that there was heat and attraction behind them. So much attraction. 

Jimin glanced up at Hoseok’s face. His heart-shaped lips were curved up in amusement as he watched the film. His eyes were so dark and clear that Jimin could see the reflection of the television in them. He was so beautiful. He’d always been so beautiful . Jimin had the sudden desire to kiss the freckle on his upper lip. He almost discarded the thought as being too personal but then he remembered he got to be personal now. He stretched up toward him and Hoseok turned when he felt Jimin move. Jimin placed a peck right over the freckle, his plush lips closing gently on the spot near Hoseok’s cupid’s bow. 

Hoseok smiled as Jimin pulled away, “You missed.” 

Jimin shook his head. “I’ve always liked that freckle,” he said, reaching his hand up to run his finger over it.

Something hesitant passed across Hoseok’s face and Jimin thought maybe he was being too sentimental to pass for casual—because he was—but it was gone in a blink and Hoseok gave him a squeeze before turning back to the film.

Jimin tried to focus on the movie but the gorgeous brunette pressed up against him demanded his attention. Jimin kept sneaking glances at him to watch him laugh or jump at a startling moment--they weren’t even watching a horror film...it was an animated comedy--but Hoseok didn’t like it when people just popped up out of nowhere. It was devastatingly adorable. 

Hoseok laughed again and his Adam’s apple bobbed and it was decidedly less adorable and much more erotic. Jimin stretched up and kissed his throat this time, his lips closing on the flesh there in a far less chaste way than they had his freckle. He felt Hoseok’s breath hitch and Jimin shifted, turning a little and locking his lips on Hoseok’s neck again, leaving a wetter, heavier kiss this time, as his hand made its way under the blanket and onto Hoseok’s stomach. 

Hoseok smirked a little. Jimin had made it 25 minutes into the film--longer than he’d anticipated, honestly. “Aish, Jiminie. So needy.” He moved his hand to the small of Jimin’s back, edging the tips of his fingers under the band of Jimin’s jeans and tickling the skin there. “My sweet, needy boy.” He wished he had the wherewithal to hold Jimin off a little longer but he was suddenly feeling a little impatient too so he let Jimin suck at his neck a little longer and then lowered his head to draw him into a kiss.

Jimin responded to the escalation immediately, raising himself up and swinging his leg over Hoseok’s lap to straddle him.   

Jimin’s hands moved to Hoseok’s face and he pushed his tongue into his mouth. Hoseok let him dominate the kiss, moving his tongue lazily against the younger’s. 

The kiss, full of vim and vigor, was making Hoseok a little light headed. Jimin had become so expert at this. And he was moving his hips so precisely, his weight pressing on Hoseok’s member just right. Hoseok raised his hips up against him and felt that Jimin was a little hard too. That settles it then. The movie would just have to go unfinished. 

Hoseok moved his hand to undo the button on Jimin’s jeans and he heard the singer hum excitedly into his mouth. Hoseok slid his hands around his back and pushed them into his pants, squeezing and kneading at the flesh there, pulling and rubbing at his cheeks until Jimin’s thrusts became more urgent on top of him. Hoseok’s fingers slid lower. “Mmm, you didn’t wear your plug.” 

“You asked me not to,” Jimin murmured against Hoseok’s mouth. “I always listen to my Oppa.”  

Hoseok grinned, pulling his hands out of Jimin’s jeans and leaning away from his lips. He raised his fingers to his mouth to wet them but Jimin intercepted, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand to his own mouth. Hoseok watched as his tongue darted out to circle around the tip of his fingers before taking them into his mouth, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. Hoseok shifted seeking more friction as Jimin continued. “Let go of my wrist,” he said, his voice low. Jimin dropped his wrist immediately but he didn’t release his fingers, and he put his hands behind his back. Hoseok smiled smugly watching his pet anticipate his orders. He pushed his fingers further into Jimin’s mouth, running them across his tongue and cheeks. “Open,” he said and Jimin obeyed. 

Hoseok clicked his tongue as he inspected Jimin’s mouth, “Ah,” he said, “we’re going to need more than that.” Jimin’s eyes widened excitedly as he slouched a little. Hoseok leaned forward and spit into the open mouth before pulling back with a wicked grin. 

“Thank you, Oppa,” Jimin said, his words less than articulate because his mouth was still open. 

Hoseok’s whole body shivered at Jimin’s expression of gratitude. Thanking him for his defilement. Perfection. Hoseok rushed forward and placed a flurry of hungry kisses on his jaw line. “You’re such a good boy, Jiminie,” he praised between kisses. “Always so good for me.” 

Jimin drew in a staggered breath. He clasped his hands more tightly behind his back to resist the urge to grab onto the brunette and hold him to him. 

Hoseok pulled back and returned his fingers to Jimin’s mouth, adding a third this time. “Hold still,” he said and then he pushed the digits back further, tickling the soft roof toward the back. Jimin gagged reflexively. Hoseok loved that sound. He loved watching the tears form in Jimin’s eyes. He did it again, collecting all the makeshift lubricant he could and then pulled out. 

His fingers had barely cleared the space between them before Jimin’s lips found Hoseok’s again and Hoseok felt small, powerful hands press into his member through his jeans. Hoseok moaned at the pressure and moved his hands back down Jimin’s jeans and underwear.  Jimin gasped as Hoseok’s fingers found their aim and gently pushed into him. He started with just one--this was nothing for Jimin now, so he added a second quickly. Jimin’s hips grew restless as Hoseok scissored his fingers. He didn’t have to work him open all the way...they had time for that later. This was just for fun. He also didn’t want Jimin getting too far ahead of himself. So he moved his hand away and tapped Jimin on the hip, encouraging him to dismount.  

Hoseok opened his own jeans and pulled his member out, already a little stiff from Jimin’s ministrations. Jimin repositioned himself so that he was kneeling on the couch next to him and he bent over to take Hoseok into his mouth. 

Hoseok’s head fell back against the plush cushion, his hand stroking Jimin’s head as the younger bobbed up and down on him. He ran his other hand down Jimin’s back and across his firm backside. “Put your ass up a little more, pet,” he said, his voice husky. Jimin arched his back, pushing his ass higher into the air and Hoseok rewarded him with a spank. He felt Jimin’s moan vibrate around his cock and he spanked him again, harder. His hand fisted in Jimin’s hair as the blonde took him in deeper and Hoseok couldn’t help but raise his hips a little, encouraging him. 

Hoseok let him go on for a few minutes, pulling at his hair to back him off whenever he felt like he was getting too close. He enjoyed edging Jimin...but he enjoyed edging himself too. There was power in subjugating his basest desires. But even he could only take so much when it came to Jimin so he pulled him off. “That’s enough, pet.” Jimin was breathless, his face ruddy. There was spit pooling around the corners of his mouth and on his chin and his eyes were glazed but bright. Hoseok used his hair to pull him in for a messy kiss. Jimin was ravenous. Breathless, sloppy, wrecked. Hoseok considered briefly pushing him back onto the couch and fucking him here but he had other plans. He reluctantly pulled out of the kiss and pushed himself up off the couch, removing his pants as he made his way across the room to his bed. 

Jimin watched from the couch as his lover took off his shirt and underwear too and jumped onto the bed. Hoseok was almost never naked first. It wasn’t very often that Jimin got to see all of him at once and not just flashes of bare skin as they passed in the peripheral of his vision. Jimin took in every detail. He felt how attracted he was to Hoseok in the intensity of his arousal, but also in the way his heart faltered and skipped as he admired his golden skin glowing in the soft light of the room and his muscles flexing with each deft movement. His dark hair was shiny where it fell over his forehead and drew attention to his warm, piercing brown eyes. Jimin inhaled and swallowed hard trying to keep his emotions in check but with the amount of butterflies he felt battering against his insides, he was pretty sure he could fly to him.

“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok said from where he now lay on the bed. He had a small, royal blue box in his hand that he’d pulled from his bedside table. “Take your clothes off and come here.” 

Jimin moved over to him, leaving his pants and underwear strewn haphazardly on the couch and dropping his shirt to the floor on the way. He crawled onto the bed and sat next to Hoseok. 

Hoseok nudged him with his knee. “Don’t be shy. Make yourself comfortable.”

Jimin smiled widely and swung his leg over Hoseok’s hips, wiggling his butt against Hoseok’s thighs and taking care to brush their cocks against each other. He smirked a little as Hoseok inhaled sharply at the sensation. 

“Are you settled, yet?” Hoseok asked sarcastically. He waved the box in his hands, “I got you a present.” 

Jimin’s eyes lit up and he wiggled again in a little happy dance. “Oooh, a present!” Jimin squealed delightedly. He reached his hand out to grab the box but Hoseok pulled it away. 

“Patience, Jimin,” he said fondly. “Always such a greedy boy.” He was trying not to get distracted by the way Jimin was fidgeting against him. 

Hoseok started to untie the ribbon around the little box and Jimin clapped gleefully in anticipation as he craned to see the contents. Hoseok gently lifted a small case out of the box and Jimin could tell by the shape of it that it was some sort of jewelry.  

“Close your eyes, Jimin.” Hoseok said. 

Jimin complied immediately and held his hands out, cupped, in front of him. His heart was pounding. The change in Hobi was more dramatic than he had realized. Jewelry? Hobi got him jewelry ? Never in his wildest dreams would he have called that. Jewelry was romantic . There was no way around that. He fought the emotion that was threatening to show on his face as he wondered what pretty thing Hoseok had picked out for him. He wondered how much thought he’d put into it and if, when he saw it, he thought “that’s the one...that’s what Jiminie would like.” 

“No,” Hoseok said, interrupting Jimin’s thoughts and pushing his extended hands away. “Put your hands behind your head.” His deep voice was just a little huskier and there was mischief in his order.

Confusion crossed Jimin’s face, his brow furrowing and his cautious smile twitching. But, ever the obedient pet, he did as he was told.

“Remember,” Hoseok warned, “When Oppa puts you in position…”

“...I stay in position.” Jimin completed the rule automatically as he remembered. He interlaced his fingers behind his head so that whatever his body was made to do, his hands would stay in place at least. But the reminder made Jimin anxious about what his Oppa had planned and he swallowed hard in anticipation, rolling his hips eagerly.

Hoseok didn’t have to check to make sure Jimin’s eyes were closed--he knew they would be. He was such a good boy. He flipped open the jewelry box which was about the size of his palm and smiled down at the intricately bejeweled chain neatly displayed in the case. He’d picked this out special. Jimin preferred silver over gold so he’d chosen an expensive platinum for the chain--silver was too soft for the use they would put this to. There were several jewels hanging like drops along tributary chains. Most of them were diamonds of various sizes which glittered brightly inlaid in the silver but there were a few rubies scattered in the design too--Hoseok thought the deep crimson added a dark and sexy addition to the otherwise sweet and delicate feel of the piece. 

Jimin heard Hoseok set the box down on the end table and then felt him shift under him. Something cold grazed his chest and then suddenly there was a sharp pinch on his right nipple. His body folded inward, cringing at the pain as he cried out, but his hands stayed put.

“Sit back up.” Hoseok said sharply. His voice had an almost frenzied edge to it.

Jimin straightened up. He felt the cold against his chest again and then a second pinch on his other nipple. He grit his teeth and breathed through the pain. He knew it would pass momentarily. It was no secret to either of them that Jimin enjoyed a little nipple play but they hadn’t properly explored it yet either. The sensation was new but not altogether unpleasant and it was already starting to feel more erotic than painful. 

Hoseok had never bought anything like this before. Toys...of course he’d bought toys before. But never for a pet. And never something personal like this. After he bought it, even as he was carrying it home, he had second thoughts...doubts...fears that it was too much. 

It was definitely sexual. In the context of their dynamic, this was a symbol of ownership and it would make Jimin feel so submissive and special. And as much as his thoughts were for how much Jimin would like that, he had to admit, seeing him wear it would be especially gratifying for him too. The sexual possession it represented...they would both get so much pleasure out of that.

But...it was also sentimental. He and Jimin weren’t anything. But they weren’t nothing either. And this gift said that too. It was expensive and thoughtful and lasting...it meant something. That was the part he was afraid of. He wondered how Jimin would feel about that. 

Hoseok finished attaching the nipple chain, and leaned back to admire his work. He was glad Jimin’s eyes were still closed because he couldn’t contain his adoration and it wasn’t very “Oppa-like” of him. Jimin’s hands were locked behind his head forcing the muscles in his arms to flex. His abs were clenched and defined, and his pelvis was pushed forward as his body curled, tense with adrenaline. His pert, pink nipples were hard where the clamps pinched them and the glittering chain dangled from them, dipping in a low arc to his navel. His skin was so supple and smooth from his thick, powerful thighs all the way up to his graceful neck. And then there was his face. He hesitated for a second out of habit before letting his eyes travel over it. He was so lovely. Effortlessly sexy, yet ethereal. Hoseok thought he was like a piece of art or a character from a fantasy novel. Someone, some thing just a little too perfect to be entirely of this earth. He was breathing hard and with each heavy breath, Hoseok grew more and more aroused. 

“You can open your eyes and lower your arms now, Jiminie,” Hoseok whispered.

Jimin looked down at his chest as he unclasped his fingers. He gasped softly. He noticed the chain first. It was a bright, rich silver and it glittered in the light. Jimin could tell immediately that this was expensive. The chain was delicate but sturdy and it was attached to silk--maybe satin--padded clamps which pinched his nipples and held them tightly. From the clamps dangled a series of shorter chains of varying lengths with diamonds and, what looked like rubies maybe, inlaid in an intricate pattern. The whole design was very minimalist but, at the same time, extravagant. Hoseok had great taste. Jimin caught the dangling chains in his fingers, his heart still pounding. It wasn’t what he expected. His mind had gone first to more traditional trinkets of affection--necklaces, rings maybe since Jimin wore them so often--but this made sense. This was a more realistic representation of their relationship. Sexual . And Jimin couldn’t be disappointed because it was so beautiful and it made him feel pretty and sensual but also so naughty. And he loved the way Hoseok was looking at him wearing it. 

Hoseok watched Jimin examine it. He could tell the chain turned Jimin on--maybe it was the physical stimulation, maybe it was the idea of it...either way, he was biting his lip and his grind had picked up intensity significantly. Hoseok couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He had the thought that he would be perfectly content just to watch Jimin get off on top of him like this. But he had other plans for his pet. He reached out and gave the chain a light tug causing Jimin to gasp as pain shot through his sensitive nipples. “Do you like it, Jiminie?”

Jimin raised his eyes up to Hoseok’s finally. His voice was shaky as he exhaled, “Yes, Oppa, I do.”

Hoseok smiled at him. “Good.” Good. He pushed himself up, propping himself on one hand behind him. He moved his other hand to Jimin’s face and kissed him roughly, hungrily. “Now you’ve got to earn it.” 

Jimin’s chest rose and fell as he waited, wondering what Hoseok had in store for him, and praying it would be intense because all of a sudden, he desperately needed it to be.

“Put your hands back up.” Hoseok ordered.

Jimin raised his hands back up to head, interlocking his fingers once again. Hoseok ran his fingers up Jimin’s stomach, his nails catching on his skin as he went. He was so sensitive and Hoseok’s touch took up a lot of space in his head. He was having trouble concentrating already.

Hoseok’s expression was devilish as grabbed the chain again. He lifted it, smiling wider as Jimin winced and rolled his hips eagerly. “Open your mouth, Jimin-ah.” Hoseok whispered.

Jimin obeyed. Hoseok pulled the chain a little more, tugging Jimin’s nipples with it, and put it in Jimin’s mouth. Jimin’s gripped it in his teeth and Hoseok moved his hand away. 

“If you let go, or pull it off, you’ll be punished.” Hoseok said sternly, something close to amusement but darker glinting in his eyes. 

Just by holding his head straight, Jimin noticed there was already a lot of tension on the chain. It wouldn’t take much movement at all to yank the clamps off and Jimin knew that Hoseok wasn’t going to make it easy for him. As soon as Hoseok started fucking him, it was going to take a lot of concentration to keep his head steady and his teeth clenched. Jimin already wasn’t great at keeping his focus when Hoseok was working on him--with the added intensity and pleasure of the nipple stimulation, it was a seemingly impossible task. And that was assuming Hoseok would take it easy on him. Hoseok had proven before he could toss Jimin around like he was a limp rag doll if he wanted and then Jimin wouldn’t be able to keep the clamps on no matter how hard he tried. 

“Get off,” Hoseok said, his voice suddenly rough.

With his hands still locked behind his head, the task was easier said than done. The give in the bed as he moved made it even more difficult. He was grateful for his strength, balance, and flexibility. They would give him a fighting chance tonight. Jimin finally settled himself at Hoseok’s side and Hoseok jumped off the bed. 

Jimin couldn’t move his head much but in his peripheral he saw Hoseok drop to the floor and reach under his bed. He was going for his box.

Hoseok pulled out the wooden chest and propped its lid open. He made a show of digging around knowing Jimin was craning with what little mobility he had to see what he was looking for. “What shall we play with today?” Hoseok sang, almost to himself. He already knew what toy he wanted today, he was just drawing the anticipation out for Jimin. After a few more seconds of “contemplation,” Hoseok lifted an intimidating black flogger out of the box and Jimin’s eyes widened when he saw it.

“Fuck,” he said through his gritted teeth. 

“What do you say we try this out tonight, pet?” Hoseok said, running the leather strips through his hand. He approached Jimin and held the instrument out, letting the strips fall gently against Jimin’s bare skin, a smile on his face that didn’t match the menacing mood. “Do you want Oppa to hit you, Jiminie?” Hoseok said, his lips so close to Jimin’s ear.

Jimin nodded and almost before he stopped, he felt the whip snap against his ribs and Jimin hissed, his body cringing from the contact. 

“Use your words,” Hoseok chided him. 

“Yes, Oppa, please hit me,” the words weren’t very clear with the obstruction but they satisfied Hoseok’s demand nonetheless. 

“Show me you remember your safeword,” Hoseok prompted.

“Daydream.”

“And if you can’t speak?” 

Jimin hummed the phrase.

“Good boy,” Hoseok praised him. And then he brought the leather down against him again, this time striking his back. 

Jimin moaned audibly. The leather was unexpectedly soft against his skin, except where the edges of the straps cut. The sting was intense and the jolt of pain spread quickly from the points of contacts outward until his whole side was tingling.

As Hoseok continued, occasionally, the flogger would snap quicker and Jimin couldn’t keep his body from flinching and jerking. The tug of the chain on his nipples created a similar sensation across his chest. Well he thought it was similar, at first, registering simply “pain.” But the longer the session went on, the more he could distinguish the distinct sensations. He liked them both--the whip was sharper, the pain coming in slashes along the edges of the strips, whereas the pain in his nipples was deeper--like pushing on a bruise and it was localized to his chest. They felt good separately--together they were intoxicating. 

It was strange. Outside of sex, pain had never appealed to Jimin. But when Hoseok did it...when Jimin was naked and under his control, it was bliss. He felt certain that it could get to a point where the pain would overwhelm the pleasure but Hoseok seemed to know how to time the infliction so that he was craving the snap each time. The rhythm built his ecstasy steadily until he was panting and whimpering, near senseless.  

Jimin was bent over now, his cheek pressed into the mattress and his hands still locked behind his head. Hoseok knew the point of this particular session was to make keeping the chain on difficult for Jimin--a goal which this position did not accomplish--but there was no way they were using the flogger for the first time and not snapping it against Jimin’s ass. Many, many times over the years, Hoseok had fantasized about this. “Fantasized” probably wasn’t the right word--he never let it get that far. It was always just a flash of an image of red welts against plush cheeks following moments where Jimin’s ass was particularly attention-grabbing. Hoseok had always managed to shake the barely-formed thought quickly and laugh it off as a weird little impulse. But he’d certainly thought about it in great detail over the last couple of months. Jimin’s ass looked great with his handprints all over it, but welts from the flogger? Hoseok would have a mural of it on his wall if he could. 

Hoseok’s snaps were harder against his ass then they had been against his side or back. They felt that way at least. Maybe it was because he was fleshier there, or because the area was so much more sensitive to stimulation. Maybe it was because a spanking just felt more deliciously humiliating than the slaps on his back, but it was so much more difficult to keep himself still for this part of the session. He couldn’t help but lift his ass higher with each snap, closer to Hoseok, closer to the blows, silently but clearly begging Hoseok for more. The stings were searing now and Jimin couldn’t see but he felt sure there were raises on his skin, welts, maybe even places where the skin had broken. 

He could barely see Hoseok from his position but in his brief glimpses, Jimin saw a predator. Which was fitting because Jimin felt every bit like prey. The look in Hoseok’s eyes was full of awe and lust and something sinister. Jimin felt so vulnerable under his gaze and he loved it. He heard another crack and the heat followed a moment later. Jimin cried out this time, as the pain crossed a threshold he hadn’t been aware of yet. Two more snaps followed in rapid succession and Jimin lurched away from him on the bed, his chain snagging on the bedspread below him. Jimin heard something hit the floor and then he felt hands stroking his cheeks firmly. 

“What do you say, Jimin?” He heard Hoseok’s voice from somewhere behind him. 

Jimin swallowed, “Thank you, Oppa,” he said, his teeth crushing against the chain as he tried to navigate his words around it. 

Hoseok placed several kisses on Jimin’s ass. He couldn’t feel them all, the flesh so raw and overstimulated it was almost numb with pain, so he had to rely on the sounds to know. “You’re welcome, pet.” Hoseok said, “You were such a good boy for Oppa.”

Hoseok pulled back. “Sit up, now. Show Oppa you’ve still got your chain on.”

Jimin took a deep breath and clenched his abs to pull himself up. His hands hadn’t been released from his head yet and he was suddenly exhausted from all the tensing and flinching, but he managed to sit and sure enough, the chain was still in place.

Hoseok beamed at him. “Good boy!” he cooed. “You can put your hands down now.”

Jimin lowered his arms and felt the burn in his shoulders. His muscles ached and he moved his head as much as he could to examine the red marks on his torso. As the pleasure of the beating waned, he was starting to notice how much his body was burning. He gingerly touched some of the welts and hissed at how tender they were all of the sudden. He looked back up at Hoseok hoping to see something reassuring, something to indicate that the pleasure would return soon, that the pain would fade in a minute or so...but Hoseok was back in his box, digging out some lube and then slicking himself with it. 

Jimin noted how hard Hoseok was. Looking at him closer, he was flushed and tensed and Jimin could practically see how powerfully his blood was thundering through his veins. The effect Jimin’s pose and pain had had on him was evident and Jimin knew he was about to get fucked ruthlessly. His mind returned to the moment he was in, his body no longer craving relief but instead his Oppa. The pain fell into the background and he wondered, now that he had passed the first part of the challenge, what was coming next. 

As if in answer, Hoseok crawled onto the bed and shoved Jimin onto his back. The elder moved quickly between his legs and maneuvered Jimin to the side of the bed. Jimin gripped Hoseok’s arms when he felt the bed disappear from underneath his shoulders, sure he was about to fall. But Hoseok stopped with most of the younger’s body still on the bed so it was only the top half of his torso and up left unsupported. Jimin’s head lolled backward and the chain pulled taut. He grunted, frustrated, and tried to scoot himself back onto the bed but Hoseok held him firmly where he was, a cruel smile lighting up his eyes. 

Jimin wanted to protest that this position was unfair but he couldn’t form the words clearly. 

Hoseok was still smirking wickedly. “What is it, Jiminie? Is there a problem? I don’t understand...”

Jimin huffed feeling his frustration grow. The competitor in him started to grasp how much of an uphill battle he was facing in this position and it made him angry. He had pretty much resigned himself to losing at this point and Hoseok looked so smug about it. He felt his anger fuel his desire and, as Hoseok drew nearer, Jimin promised to do everything in his power to not only win but to make sure Hoseok was worn out by the time he did.

Jimin’s head started to fall back again, his body already exhausted. He struggled to engage his core enough to hold him up, only the determination to put up a good fight proving enough to accomplish the task. Hoseok hiked the younger’s leg up pinning it with his arm to Jimin’s chest and pushed into him. Jimin’s fingers sunk into Hoseok’s shoulders, holding on for dear life as Hoseok thrust into him again and again, his hips battering the tender, torn skin of his ass. Jimin’s eyes held Hoseok’s, trying to find something to focus on so that he wasn’t entirely overwhelmed by the extreme sensations, the frustration, the futility, the grit, the gratitude, the affection he felt. It was a lot and it took every ounce of control and discipline he possessed to keep his teeth clenched and his head up.

Jimin had always been a showman in bed. Even when he was just taking it he would writhe deliciously, back arching, head tossing, body jerking. And he made the most beautiful noises, his mouth dropping into high pitched whimpers and long, sensual moans. But now he was still, muscles tensed to hold his position, mouth clenched tight so that only soft hisses and muffled groans could escape. Hoseok missed the usual production but there was something so satisfying about watching his face screw up in frustration and concentration in an effort to control the way his body processed the intense, prolonged pleasure. 

Jimin was whimpering now but Hoseok knew before he heard him that he was ready, feeling his body tense beneath him and the grip around his cock tighten. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Jimin’s which remained still. Hoseok kept kissing them though, feeling Jimin’s lips twitch, wanting to match his Oppa’s but afraid of losing his grip if he did. “You’ve worked so hard tonight, Jimin-ah,” Hoseok cooed and Jimin whimpered again in agreement. “You can come for Oppa now. Better hold on tight.”

Jimin’s eyes widened at the warning and he pulled himself into Hoseok’s chest, clutching him tightly as Hoseok picked up force. His thrusts threatened to push Jimin from the bed and he was sure he would have fallen off if not for his grip on his hyung. His orgasm hit him like a truck and he couldn’t help his head jerking back, his arms falling from Hoseok. The chain pulled sharply on his nipples and the slash of pain drove him over the edge again and again. He came with so much force that he was worried he would break the chain in half with his teeth. But the chain remained intact and, more impressively, the clamps remained steadfastly in place even as he hung over the side of the bed. 

He felt strong hands on his hips and he was pulled back up onto the mattress. As Hoseok swam back into his view above him, he felt a little bewildered. The chain hadn’t slipped a millimeter. The grip of the clamps was so sure, it apparently took much more force than Jimin assumed it would to pull them off. He’d been so careful to minimize his movements and it was largely unnecessary. He felt his heart pound as frustration and shock bubbled up in him all over again. He raised his wide eyes to Hoseok’s and he saw immediately that he knew all along Jimin didn’t have to be so delicate with the chain and still he let him suffer just for his amusement. 

Jimin sat himself back up and pointed to the chain in his mouth, asking Hoseok permission to take it out. Hoseok was stretching playfully, pretending like he didn’t notice so Jimin huffed and then hummed at him urgently, pouting and poking until Hoseok smiled at him with a feigned look of surprise on his face. 

“Oh! Why do you still have that chain in your mouth, Jiminie? You like holding on to that, do you?” 

Jimin hastily spit the the chain out of his mouth and landed a hard slap against Hoseok’s bare chest.

Hoseok laughed and flinched, “Ow. You are feisty.”

Jimin smiled despite himself and fell back onto the bed, the chain swinging delicately as he did. “That was hell, Hoseok.” 

Hoseok rolled over to face him and tugged very gently on the chain. “Ah, don’t be like that, Jimin-ah.” He cooed, affectionately. “We both know you enjoyed yourself…” He motioned to the cum that was still wet on their stomachs. 

Jimin rolled his eyes but his smile widened. “The jewelry helped,” he admitted, begrudgingly. 

“And you kept it on!” Hoseok said. “You’ve made Oppa very proud.” 

Jimin glared at him, playfully. “You knew I’d keep it on...this thing won’t budge.”

Hoseok shrugged, “Maybe I did. But I had a lot of fun watching you try so hard.” 

“I did try really hard,” Jimin agreed. “I’m exhausted.” Jimin looked down at his nipples which were purple and throbbing. He just noticed how sore they were. He raised his hand to remove the clamps but Hoseok quickly stopped him, grabbing his hand and pulling it away. Jimin was taken aback by his adamance. 

Hoseok was glad he’d managed to stop Jimin. This was the painful part. The pinching, the pulling--it hurt for sure, but the adrenaline and endorphins from the sex muted a lot of that. Plus the pulling type of pain was sharp and fleeting so it was more of an exciting stab than the prolonged throbbing he would experience when the clamps were removed. He was sure Jimin was already sore from the lashing--he would have to treat the welts before he left--so the least he could do was make this part as manageable as possible. 

Hoseok leaned forward so that he was hovering above Jimin’s chest. He grabbed his hand and gave it a soft kiss before placing their intertwined fingers beside him. “Squeeze if you need to,” he said. He saw fear flash in Jimin’s eyes and he gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Jimin. Just breathe and squeeze.” 

Hoseok lifted his free hand to the clamp and Jimin took a deep breath as he released it. 

“Ahh!” Jimin cried in pain as the blood rushed to his nipple. He didn’t imagine it could hurt so much. He squeezed Hoseok’s hand tightly but it didn’t help at all.

Hoseok quickly lowered his head to Jimin’s chest and closed his mouth around his nipple, applying a gentle pressure. As he sucked it gently, he massaged the bud softly with his tongue. The pressure was soothing and the pleasure helped distract from the pain. It still hurt a lot but the heat and the suction was helping so much. Jimin moaned in gratitude. Hoseok continued sucking and kissing, his hand on Jimin’s abdomen covering half of his rib cage so that eventually he felt Jimin’s breathing return to normal as the pain faded. Hoseok gave his bruised nipple a final kiss and pulled away. “Better?” he asked looking up at Jimin. 

Jimin nodded and gave Hoseok a sincerely grateful look. 

Hoseok smiled and nodded back. “Great. Halfway there.” 

Hoseok moved to Jimin’s other nipple and removed the clamp. Jimin cried out again. He’d forgotten how badly it hurt. Hoseok dropped his mouth to the swollen bud quickly and repeated his skillful, healing work.

Jimin was so grateful for Hoseok’s tenderness. As well as Hobi pulled off his arrogant and indifferent Oppa role, he was always so concerned with Jimin’s comfort. He knew how far to push him and he understood, even when Jimin didn’t, just what types of discomfort and pain would enhance Jimin’s pleasure and what sort of incidental pain would need to be mitigated. He was the best Oppa Jimin could ask for. He raised his hand to Hoseok’s head and stroked it affectionately as the brunette continued his work.  

After a minute or so, Hoseok lifted his head and crawled a little higher to Jimin’s face. “How do you feel, baby?”

“Everything is numb but it still stings, you know?” He said, unsure.

Hoseok understood what he meant. And he knew that it would hurt tomorrow too. Probably worse since the endorphins and adrenaline will have faded. He’d actually taken it pretty easy on him but it would be a new pain so it could seem worse than it was. “You’ll need to take a cold bath tonight before you go to bed,” he said. “I wish I could be there to give you one…” 

Jimin smiled and raised his hands to Hoseok’s face. “Hobi, I had a lot of fun tonight. That was a lot of fun.”

Hoseok smiled back. He could tell Jimin enjoyed himself but he was glad for the confirmation, all the same. That’s what all this was for. 

“Can I see it?” Jimin asked softly, his eyes searching for the chain Hoseok had freed him from. 

“Of course, Jiminie.” Hoseok said, sitting up and holding the glittering jewelry out toward him.

Jimin took the chain gingerly. He knew it was sturdy but it was hard to believe because it was so dainty and delicate. So pretty. He couldn’t help but handle it gently.

Now that he had it in his hands, he was able to look at it more closely. The smaller strands of jewels cascaded through his fingers and there were so many gems he couldn’t count them quickly. They were small, maybe the size of the head of a pin but they were clear and well cut and precisely laid. The deep red ones were just as perfect. Jimin knew Hoseok had expensive taste but he didn’t even want to think about how much this had cost him. This single piece of jewelry surely cost more than every gift Jimin had ever given Hoseok, combined, and he didn’t know quite what to make of that.

He wondered where Hoseok had gotten it. It was too special and expensive to have been ordered online, plus they could never guarantee their packages were private as the staff handled everything coming in and going out. And Hoseok couldn’t exactly casually walk into a store and buy a luxury nipple chain. There’s no way Dispatch wouldn’t get ahold of that information. A lump formed in Jimin’s throat. Maybe...maybe this wasn’t bought for him at all . Maybe some former lover had given it to Hoseok...maybe Hoseok had acquired it a while ago before they became too famous to buy such a thing and he just let his partner-du-jour wear it. Maybe this wasn’t as special as Jimin wanted it to be...

Hoseok watched Jimin’s face fall, his mood falling with it. He’d seemed to like it until he suddenly didn’t. If Jimin wasn’t happy with it, he wasn’t entirely sure he could exchange it at this point. And...he’d so carefully designed this...he wanted Jimin to love it. “Did you--did you see the inscription, Jimin?” Hoseok asked pointing out a small, silver, oval-shaped pendant hanging from the other clamp.

Jimin’s eyes perked up and he looked at Hoseok. “Inscription?” He quickly caught the dangling pendant in his hands and held it toward the light. He hadn’t noticed this plain silver charm hidden amongst all the jewels. He ran his finger across the engraving and smiled as he read it. “For Jiminie.” Relief washed over him but it was secondary to the sense of adoration he felt. Hoseok bought this for him. Picked this out for him. Engraved this for him . That had to mean something right? Surely this wasn’t just a “thanks for the great sex” gift. It was hard to believe it was just a “you’re a great friend” gift either. Jimin refused to get his hopes up--this wasn’t exactly an “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” gift either...but it meant they were something important. 

He flipped it over and read the other side. “Your HOPPA”. He looked at Hoseok curiously. “Hoppa?” he repeated.

“Yeah, like Hope-ah. Hope plus Oppa.” Hoseok shrugged. “I thought it was funny.”

Jimin chuckled and smiled fondly. “It is funny,” he said. ‘And sweet.’

He leaned over and kissed Hoseok on the cheek. “Thank you, Hoppa.” 

Hoseok laughed. “Now that you say it out loud it doesn’t sound sexy at all. Maybe we just leave it as Oppa. Or Hoseok.” 

Jimin nodded in agreement. “Probably for the best.” 

Hoseok handed the box to Jimin and Jimin put the chain back in it. “Is this mine?” Jimin asked.

“Of course.” Hoseok nodded. “It’s all yours.”

Jimin hesitated. “Will you keep ahold of it though?” 

Hoseok tilted his head at Jimin, curiously, and considered him before he agreed. “If you really want me too, I will.” He took the box Jimin had held out to him and placed it on his bedside table.

Jimin smiled a little shy, “I just...I like the idea of you deciding when you want me in it and pulling it out to give to me each time…It feels...possessive...” he blushed. “I don’t know...like you have an ownership of me or something,” he laughed but cringed a little as he said it. “Sorry, maybe that’s weird...” 

Hoseok felt like he was glowing at the request. “It’s not weird, Jiminie,” he said. “It’s the opposite of weird.” He’d hoped Jimin would feel that way. That was part of the reason for the inscription. He liked the idea of Jimin wearing something that declared his role as pet. The truth was Hoseok was very possessive of Jimin and he wanted him to feel owned by him. At least when they were together like this. Hoseok raised himself onto his knees, looming a little over the younger. “Here, in this bed, in my bed, you’re mine,” he said, his voice deep and rough. “Exclusively and entirely.” He saw Jimin’s whole body shiver and he held his eyes. “ Mine .” 

Jimin beamed at him as he melted forward into his arms, his eyes becoming as possessive as his Oppa’s. “I’m yours,” he whispered back. 

Everything about tonight had gone so perfectly. Any fear he had that Hoseok might not be able to follow through on his promise to drop the walls was apparently needless. The scenarios Jimin imagined that he’d practice talking Hoseok through had never manifested and, in fact, Jimin had gotten everything he could have hoped for from him and more. Hoseok was a whole new man. No. That wasn’t right. Hoseok was himself. The him he had always been with Jimin. Before. Maybe it was because of their sudden declarations, maybe it was because of the jewelry, or because of the way Hoseok was holding Jimin now in his arms across his bare chest, but Jimin thought he could still get just one more thing from Hoseok tonight. One more tiny thing that would make this night even more perfect. He was probably being selfish at this point to ask but it felt right. 

“Hobi, the other night you called me “Minnie,” he said it softly. They hadn’t talked about that night really...it had started a conversation between them that was long overdue but considering how high emotions had run--and what had happened--there was still a lot left unspoken. Jimin had so many questions...about what was on his mind, what he was feeling, if it had all felt as real to him as it had to Jimin. And when he’d called him “Minnie,” Jimin’s heart almost burst. He liked “Jiminie.” But everyone called him that. No one called him “Minnie.” No one had ever called him “Minnie.” Until Hobi did . In the heat of that intensely passionate, deeply intimate moment. It was hard to explain but for that split second, Jimin felt like his . Not sexually. More permanently. More profoundly. And he wanted to feel that all the time. Even if it was artificial. 

“I did,” Hoseok said back, just as softly.

“I liked that,” Jimin looked at his hands, shyly. “You could call me that sometimes...if you wanted.” 

If the nickname felt different to Jimin, it felt even more so to Hoseok. He remembered saying it. He didn’t remember making the choice to say it but then it fell out of his lips from nowhere and between them it felt real and powerful. He remembered his heart seizing, overwhelmed because it was feeling too much. Feeling that he loved him. It was the first time he’d embraced the bond they had during the act and it made an impact. The feeling he’d gotten in that moment was ultimately the reason he’d felt compelled to drop the walls. It was just too good like that to go back to turning it all off.

But it was intense. Too intense for what they were doing. The rational part of his brain told him that the love he had for Jimin was there whether he acknowledged it or not. Letting it be a part of what they were doing was scary--because it was a reminder of the bond he was betraying, because it made him hesitate with his dominant instincts, because it made things kind of confusing and fuzzy for him--but he’d already decided it was worth it. 

He felt like after all he’d denied Jimin, he deserved everything he had now.

Hoseok chuckled softly, “I wished you’d told me that earlier,” he motioned to the box on the bedside, “I would have put it on your chain...” 

Jimin smiled. “It probably would have been a more discreet inscription for you to ask for…”

Hoseok nodded, “Actually, though..” There was nothing about what he bought that left any room for interpretation. He hadn’t given his real name and he’d paid in cash and he’d kept his face mostly hidden, plus the boutique owner had signed an NDA before Hoseok even set foot in the door so even if he did put the pieces together, he’d have to keep it to himself. But Hoseok wasn’t too worried. The gentleman who’d helped him had a reputation for discretion and often dealt with sensitive matters for high-profile clients. Plus, he seemed kind and understanding. Like he sympathized with the lengths Hoseok had to go to to get a private gift for a friend.

“It was worth the challenge,” Hoseok assured Jimin, “We’ll use it as often as you like.” Hoseok reached out and featherly brushed Jimin’s bruised nipple. “How are they feeling?” he asked.

Jimin flinched a little but then smiled flirtatiously, “Honestly, they could use a few more feel-better kisses…”

Hoseok smiled back at him. “Oh yeah? Well if that’s what the doctor ordered...” he leaned toward Jimin, “Lie back, Minnie,” he cooed, and Jimin all but melted into the pillow. Hoseok placed his lips once again around Jimin’s tender nipple, his right hand gripping Jimin’s thigh firmly and kneading it as he gently sucked the bud. 

Jimin sighed blissfully and moved his hands into Hoseok’s hair, stroking and tugging at it while he melted under Hoseok’s tender kisses. He felt a well of emotion at the affection his hyung was lavishing upon him. His touches were so careful and so pleasant and he didn’t think he could be more grateful than he was in this moment. He looked over and smiled fondly at the jewelry box on Hoseok’s bedside. ‘For Jiminie, From Hoppa...My Hope. My Oppa.’

 

*** Two weeks later ***

“Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

Tae heard the melodic chanting in the distance as his brain was roused from its sleep. He felt a weight on him, heavy but small, and his eyes squinted open to round, rosy cheeks, a toothy grin, and a fluffy head of blonde hair. 

“Morning, sleepy-head!” Jimin sang. 

“Ugh,” Tae tried to roll over, pushing at Jimin to move him off but his attacker was in full koala mode. “Why are you so obnoxious?” 

“You love me.” Jimin said simply, as if that was an answer.

Tae protested but his arms lifted automatically to return the hug, resting on Jimin’s back. “Hmm.” 

“You really do need to get up though,” Jimin repeated.

Tae’s eyes had slipped shut again and he tightened his arms, squeezing Jimin against him.

Jimin grunted, trying to push himself away as the grip grew stronger but Tae held him there a little longer, a satisfied smirk on his face as he snored loudly into Jimin’s ear.

Jimin jammed his fingers into Tae’s sides and wiggled them around tickling him until Tae burst into laughter and let his captive go.

Jimin sat himself next to Tae and leaned forward to ruffle his dark mess of hair. “You know it’s after noon, right?” He chastised him fondly. 

Tae sat up slowly and reached over to grab his glasses off the bedside table. “So what if it is? We’re not busy. And you kept me up all night.”

Jimin laughed and slapped Tae on the chest, “What are you talking about?” He got to his feet and moved over to his bed. “I slept fine.”

“Good for you. But you kept talking in your sleep.”

Jimin’s smile froze and slipped a little as he suddenly recalled a flash from his dreams. Hoseok and him, in the dance studio, in front of the mirrors. Jimin wrapped tightly in leather binds and Hoseok standing tall over him, menacing, dominating. Oh no.

“You probably imagined it. I don’t talk in my sleep.” Jimin said, quickly.

“No. You were definitely talking.” Tae said. “About Hobi-hyung, I think. I heard you say his name like three times. But you called him Hope, I think, not Hobi.”

Oppa. He’d called him Oppa. “Oh?” Jimin immediately felt his shoulders tense. He tried to keep his face uninterested but he could feel a blush starting to color his cheeks. 

Tae nodded. “It sounded like he was putting you through your paces.” Tae tossed the blanket back and scootched to the side of the bed.

Jimin imagined the crack of Hoseok’s hand against his ass and heard his own moan echo in the empty studio. He was definitely blushing now. 

Tae looked at Jimin, grinning, “Was he making you do the Fire choreo over and over?” he laughed. “I’ve had that dream before. I was so mad at him the whole next day and he had no idea why.”

Jimin exhaled with a smile, relieved that Tae had provided him with a good explanation “N.O, I think,” Jimin offered, “But I don’t remember much of it…” he forced a laugh too.

Tae winced, “Ouch.” 

“So what are you going to do with the rest of your day?” Jimin asked, changing the subject. “Since there’s so little of it left.”

“I’m going to go to sleep again, I think.” Tae shrugged, falling back in bed.

“Noooo,” Jimin whined, turning around to grab his hand to pull him up again. “I want to hang out. I want to go shopping or get dinner or play video games or something.” Hoseok was booked tonight with actual work that he wasn’t going to get out of so Jimin was hoping to use the opportunity to hang out with his best friend. 

So they did. Tae pulled on a sweater over his pajamas and slipped on a pair of sandals. He and Jimin wandered down to the cafeteria and stuffed their bags full of snacks. They returned to their room and put on music and played video games and picked out silly outfits for each other to model and passed the time together as comfortably and enjoyably as always. 

It was late into the night and almost ten minutes into their impromptu bed-jumping contest when Jimin collapsed onto his mattress, conceding victory because Taehyung looked like he could keep jumping on his for another hour. Tae did a cute little happy dance and then plopped down too. Jimin giggled on the bed and Tae smiled at him fondly. 

They laid in silence as they caught their breath and Tae took the moment to appreciate how much his best friend had changed recently. It was subtle. But Tae knew Jimin inside out and it hadn’t been lost on him. His mood, his mentality, his spirit. The change wasn’t in his actions...it had nothing to do with the whimsy of this moment--Jimin was often playful and always loving and affectionate. The change was deeper than that. Something far less definable than “he’s happier” or “he’s less stressed out” though, those were true. But they were symptoms. Happy consequences of something more integral to Jimin’s being. He was confident and sure of himself. Not in a for-the-cameras way. Genuinely. Authentically. He was just a couple of months older than Tae, but he all of a sudden seemed to be years older. 

Tae had thought about asking Jimin about it several times over the last few weeks but he didn’t want to pry. Jimin would tell him if he wanted to. When he was ready. If he’d even noticed. Maybe Jimin wasn’t aware of a difference. Tae wouldn’t ask any questions. But he wanted Jimin to know that he was paying attention.

“Jimin-ah,” Taehyung said, rolling onto his stomach and facing Jimin’s bed. “Can I say something honestly, as a friend?”

Jimin rolled over on stomach too. “No, absolutely not!”

Taehyung pursed his lips, amused at the look of audacity on Jimin’s face.

“You can tell me something honestly as my best friend who knows I can be a little sensitive.” He grinned.

Tae paused for only a second before he held Jimin’s eyes. “You’ve changed,” he said.

A look flashed in Jimin’s eyes and Tae got his answer. Jimin knew. Jimin knew he’d changed. But the look of acknowledgment faded into a blush as he swallowed and looked away. 

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Tae affirmed. “Your shoulders are higher, your eyes brighter, your voice louder.” 

“I feel good, Tae,” Jimin said. And it was true, for the most part. He was a man in love. A man deeply in love with the most wonderful man. That would change anyone. That would make anyone’s shoulders rise and eyes shine. 

Tae smiled widely, “Then I feel good,” he said, simply before rolling back over.

Jimin rolled back over too. “Good” was putting it mildly. Jimin and Hoseok had been doing the personal thing for a few weeks now and it was almost heaven. It was so good that Jimin was almost terrified to imagine what it would be like if Hoseok loved him back and they both confessed and somehow got to live in the open. What would “better” than the last few weeks look like? In that time that hadn’t gone a day without being together. It wasn’t always sex. If they were lucky, they got to hook up three, maybe four times a week. But without fail, everyday, they’d find themselves pressed up against each other in a bathroom or a secluded hallway or a side closet somewhere, enjoying a happy little make out session and some playful flirtation. They always made time. Even if it was just for five minutes. 

Maybe he could make some time now. Now that Jimin was thinking about Hoseok, he was starting to feel warm and needy. They’d spent some time together this morning but platonically, at a dance practice with Jungkook. It wasn’t exactly intimate.

He pulled out his phone and open the first text in his messages.

Jimin : Hi. Want to go raid the kitchen?

He put his phone down at his side, having learned by now that watching the screen made the wait more insufferable. But the phone buzzed again almost immediately.

Hoseok : Meet you in five?

Jimin : :)  

Jimin cleared his throat and sat up, “I’m going to go stretch my legs a little,” he said, shimmying off the bed. “I might stop by the kitchen. Want anything?”

Tae who was playing a game on his phone now looked over at him and smiled, “No thanks, Jimin-ah. But hurry up. It’s our best friend night and I wanna watch a movie.”

“Promise,” Jimin said as he slipped on his shoes and skipped out of the room. 

***

Hoseok glanced around the pantry he was in at the back of the kitchen. There was a lightbulb at the top that he’d clicked on but the room was still too spooky for Hoseok’s taste. Should have walked slower. The shelves were stacked high with all manner of dried snacks but behind those snacks were dark spots where spiders probably hid. 

He clicked on his phone. He was surprised he’d beaten Jimin. But then his room was closer. He was glad Jimin had texted. He wasn’t up to anything really. He’d just been doing odd jobs around his room, keeping busy, getting that usual anxious feeling that cropped up whenever he’d gone too long without putting his hands on Jimin. He probably would have texted him just to say hi in a little anyway. 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “Jimin-ah,” he whispered. “Jimin-ah, Jimin-ah, Jimin-ah…” It had become a bit of a habit of his to chant Jimin’s name like a mantra when he was nervous or scared. A couple of weeks ago Jin and Jungkook had talked him into a scary movie and as he was lying in bed trying to not think about the zombies, he’d suddenly started whispering the name. It had taken him a few minutes to remember that he used to do that around their debut too. The other boys had teased him about it a lot back then. He was never conscious of doing it at the time--the name would slip out absent-mindedly like humming a song that was stuck in your head. He’d smiled when he remembered that. Jimin had always been a source of such comfort for him. It was nice to know that as much as things had changed, they had very much remained the same. Right now, the word was helping keep all thoughts of scary bugs far away. 

These last few weeks with Jimin had been great. He’d never have believed that he’d get this comfortable with everything. But personalizing their relationship was a good choice and, so far, it had really worked out for the better for them. What he was afraid he’d lost--their friendship--so much of it was still there...it just came with kisses now. The best part was the way it had eased his guilt about their relationship. He’d largely forgiven himself for fucking his dongsaeng. It was hard for him to understand why it had even bothered him so much in the first place. The thought still made him uncomfortable sometimes but he didn’t think of it as the glaring moral failing he once had. 

Really, the only part he still had qualms about was the Bangtan of it all. They were still putting the team at risk. They were still lying to their brothers and sneaking around and gambling with incredible stakes. But, for the most part, in his day-to-day, Hoseok didn’t even notice that guilt. It very much stayed hidden away, somewhere in the back of his mind, or the bottom of his stomach, or relegated to a tiny innocuous corner of his body like the heel of his right foot. It only made its presence known in the darkest parts of particularly dark nights and for very fleeting moments when another member of the team complimented him or when Jimin made nostalgic comments about them that triggered a “too close” warning in his brain. It was very manageable. And often blotted out by the fun he was having. By the happiness he felt in those stolen mom-- “AHHHHHHH!”

Hoseok jumped about a foot in the air as the cupboard door opened suddenly.

Jimin was on the floor, doubled-over in a fit of hysterics before Hoseok had even stopped screaming.

“Oh my god, Hobi,” Jimin gasped, tears in his eyes from the laughter. 

Hoseok was still clutching his chest, his face frozen in comedic terror. “Jesus Christ, Jiminie. You couldn’t knock?!”

Jimin grabbed onto the doorknob to pull himself to his feet, laughter finally starting to ebb. “You jumped so high, hyung,” he said. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around a still frozen Hoseok. “Shhh, it’s okay, Hoseokie,” he lulled him, mockery just barely concealed in his tone, “I’ll protect you from the big mean door and its cruel way of opening up.” 

Hoseok squirmed in his arms, not really trying to throw him off but pouting all the same. “Brat. You’re such a brat.”

Jimin raised up on his tiptoes and kissed at the elder’s jaw, still teasing but also apologizing. “Let me make it up to you?”

Hoseok pretended to pout for just another moment before leaning down to catch his lips, and moving his arms to wrap around him. They kissed almost lazily for a minute, both of them feeling suddenly more at ease in this moment than they had all day. “I’m glad you texted,” Hoseok said, pulling back a little to kiss Jimin’s cheek. “You barely beat me to it.”  

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” Hoseok returned to Jimin’s lips, “I maybe could have gone another five minutes tops…”

Jimin smiled, “Were you that bored, hyung?” 

“I had a very productive day actually,” he scoffed.

“Oh yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Eh...this is the highlight.”  

And just like that, Jimin was smiling again.

“How was your day?” Hoseok’s moved his lips to Jimin’s jaw, freeing up his mouth. 

Jimin’s hands wandered up and down Hoseok’s back, his fingers tracing his spine delicately. “I just hung out with Tae. Goofed around. It was fun.” Jimin chuckled, fondly. “He told me he thought I’d gotten more confident.” 

Hoseok’s lips stilled for a fraction of a second on Jimin’s jaw. He felt a little proud. He’d noticed the same thing. Jimin was definitely more confident and self-assured than he used to be. Not just in the bedroom but in most aspects of his life. He wondered if he’d played a part in that at all…”

“That’s great, baby,” Hoseok said, squeezing Jimin a little closer to him.

“Also,” he said, and Hoseok heard a smirk in his voice, “I had a dream last night.” 

The tone gave him away, “Oh? Was it naughty?”

Jimin raised his hands to tug at the hair on the back of Hoseok’s neck. “Very.” 

“Hmm. Go on.”

“We were in the dance studio. In front of the mirrors.” 

Hoseok groaned. “I like the sound of that…”

“There was something else.” 

“Please,” Hoseok moaned softly, lips moving against Jimin’s neck, “tell me everything.”

Jimin’s voice was deliciously breathy. “The other night, I noticed something in your box. I’ve been meaning to ask you about it. Ask if we could try it...I guess I’ve been thinking about it so much, it was even in my dreams.” 

“Min, stop teasing.” Hoseok pinched at Jimin’s hip, “You’re driving me crazy.”

Jimin leaned in close and put his lips against Hoseok’s ear. “I was all tied up…”

“Oh.” Hoseok’s body seized and his brain short-circuited as he pictured it for a minute. Little Jiminie...in his black leather ties, on the floor of their dance studio. Wow. Wow .

“Hobi?”

“Yeah? What? Sorry…”

Jimin smirked. “So, that’s a yes?”

“No!” Hoseok said it so automatically and ardently that Jimin recoiled.

“E-excuse me?” he stammered.

“I’m not tying you up.” Hoseok said. His ears were burning and his heart was pounding under the sudden stress. Hoseok was not ready for that. Not even close. He loved bondage--that wasn’t the issue. In fact, it was one of his favorite things. Rendering his pets immobile, leaving them humiliated and entirely at his mercy, god that was the ultimate pleasure for Hoseok. But he was not ready to do that to Jimin. Aside from the fact that he wasn’t sure his guilt had waned enough to handle hogtying his dongsaeng and fucking him, it would be logistically impossible to pull off safely.

Even when they had time to themselves, when they knew Tae or Kook were going to be gone for hours, Hoseok was still always looking over his shoulder; anxious that someone would walk in. He told himself that, if they heard someone unlocking the door they could split away from each other, one of them could dart into the bathroom and say they were showering--it probably would look very suspicious but there would be just enough plausible deniability that whoever caught them would have that precious sliver of doubt about what they thought they saw and they would lean on that to make things more comfortable. But if someone unlocked the door and walked in to find Jimin naked and tied down...there would be no question what they’d been up to...and Hoseok was too scared of that possibility.

Hoseok finally got around to noticing the look on Jimin’s face. He looked bewildered and offended and Hoseok suddenly felt bad.

“Hey, Minnie,” Hoseok put his hands around Jimin’s waist and pulled him close. “I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right.” 

“Can you tell me why, at least? Jimin asked, his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.

“I--I just don’t think we’re ready for it,” he said. He knew Jimin got irritated with his paranoia so he made it about the act not his fear. “It’s pretty extreme. We should build up to it a little more.”

“Hoseokie, you’ve flogged me...we’ve done extreme.” 

Hoseok couldn’t suppress a laugh. 

Jimin squinted at him again.

Hoseok smiled at Jimin, endeared and raised his hand to stroke his face. “I forget how new you are to all this, sometimes,” he said. He leaned down and brushed his lips against Jimin’s. “Baby,” he cooed, his voice suddenly so husky, “you haven’t even had a taste of extreme yet.” 

Jimin visibly shivered and raised up on his tiptoes, his breath hot on Hoseok’s lips, “Oppa, I want a taste.”  

Hoseok’s hands tightened on Jimin’s face as his mouth crashed down on his, devouring it. It wasn’t a sweet kiss, it wasn’t even a hot kiss. It was nasty. Full of debauchery. Messy and wet and a little mean. Jimin’s hands fell to his side as he succumbed entirely to Hoseok’s dominance. Finally, but much too soon, Hoseok pulled away and Jimin had to grab onto him to hold himself up. 

Jimin looked completely wrecked. His face was red, his lips were swollen, his pupils were blown wide in his glazed eyes. Hoseok bit his lower lip, wrestling with the urge to overpower him here and now. “We’ll get there, Min,” he said, swallowing hard and catching his breath.

“When,” Jimin exhaled, voice still shaky. 

“Soon,” he promised. “I’ll think of something we can do next time to work up to it a little, okay?”

Jimin pursed his lips but nodded. So it was a no, for now, on the tying-him-up. But Jimin wasn’t about to give up. He knew how to get what he wanted out of his hyung at this point. Taunt him, tease him, disobey, put a wide-eyed, innocent look on his face, make sure his ass was prominent and his underwear was on display, and just...wait for the snap. Hoseok was a true master of his craft but so was Jimin. And Jimin’s craft was seduction. He was not above using it. “Okay,” he said. “Next time.”

Hoseok smiled at him, relieved that he’d called him off for now. “That’s my boy.” He gave Jimin a little peck and then pushed him gently away. “Come on,” he said, pushing the pantry door open for Jimin to walk through. “Let’s get back.” 

Jimin pulled a playful pouty face and sauntered out the door, giving Hoseok a playful slap on his butt on the way out. 

Chapter Text

“Hope, you really blow at this.” Yoongi wiped a towel across his forehead, mopping up the sweat that had accumulated there. He had a leather basketball under his arm and was smiling, amused, at the boy now on the floor in front of him.

“Yeah, well I never claimed otherwise.” Hoseok sprawled himself out on the floor. “How many baskets did I make?”

Yoongi took a swig of water, “Counting the last one? None, Hope.” He tossed the water bottle onto Hoseok’s stomach. “Like I said, you blow.” 

Hoseok grumbled and took a drink. “If I had known this is what you meant when you asked if I wanted to hang out, I would have said no.” He sat up. “What if I had asked you to hang out and then I made us do choreo all morning?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “First of all, it’s funny that you think you could make me do anything. Second, you needed to get out of your studio.”

Hoseok got to his feet. “Fine. I was out. I played some b-ball. Happy now?”

Yoongi made a face, “Hope, no one calls it ‘b-ball.’ Don’t do that. You sound like a nerd.”

Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Agh. Can we just go now?”

Yoongi motioned to the door and Hoseok pumped his fist before racing out of the gym, not giving the elder a chance to change his mind.

The pair showered quickly in the locker room and stopped at the cafeteria to grab some noodles. As they left, Hoseok pulled out his phone to text Jimin. He didn’t know if he was free but might as well put some feelers out. Hoseok had a habit of keeping his availability flexible so that he could be around if Jimin called. He knew Jimin did the same. 

“So, where to now?” Yoongi said, taking a sip of his iced Americano. 

Hoseok looked at him, “Um, well I was just going to go back to my studio. My pro--”

“Yeah, yeah, your project,” Yoongi interrupted him. “We’re not doing that today.”

Hoseok stopped in the hallway and Yoongi turned around to stare at him, taking another long sip of his coffee somehow making even that gesture seem sarcastic. 

“What?” Hoseok finally said.

Yoongi sighed a long sigh, a heavy sigh, an entirely exaggerated sigh, in fact, but it was only to take the edge off of his uncomfortable sincerity. “Look, I know it’s been a real roller coaster for you lately with your collab falling through and your mixtape work...on top of our crazy schedule...I get it.”

Hoseok shifted on his feet. 

“But you can’t keep shutting yourself away, Hope.” Yoongi’s tone was more serious now. Lower, so he stepped closer. “It’s not healthy. It’s not you. You need human interaction. No one sees you anymore. You don’t get drinks with Joon or Jin, you don’t dance with Guk or watch movies with Tae...you certainly never hang out with me anymore…”

Hoseok felt a little stab of guilt and he knew his face showed it. 

“I’m not mad,” Yoongi clarified quickly. “I’m not saying we have to be attached at the hip or anything, but, Hobi, I’m worried about you.”

Hoseok met Yoongi’s eyes and he could see the concern in them. It was touching but it also made him feel bad. Hoseok was fine. He was happy, even. He wasn’t breaking down or shutting himself away. He’d definitely been neglecting all of his non-Jimin relationships. Especially Yoongi who had been closest to his side since the beginning. But there was really nothing for Yoongi to be worried about. He understood how it could look like he was locking himself away...he technically was. But he wasn’t moping and he certainly wasn’t alone.  

Yoongi put his hand out like he was going to touch Hoseok’s shoulder but he stopped before he made contact. “Look, if you want to be productive, if that’s what helps you, then fine. We’ll go work in the studio. Be productive. But we’re going to hang out.” He shifted on his feet and averted his eyes, “I miss you, Hope.”

Yoongi sounded pretty adamant and he wasn’t usually one for making speeches like this so Hoseok knew he really had no choice but to agree. He was moved. And he really did miss Yoongi too. So Hoseok nodded, “Okay, hyung. Let’s go to my studio.”

Yoongi groaned, his mood shifting now that he got his agreement. “Ugh, why your studio? I hate the lighting in there. It’s so bright.” But he shuffled along next to Hoseok taking the turn in that direction with him with no hesitation.

They didn’t work work--not technically--but they did get a lot done. They almost entirely wrote and recorded a brand new SOPE-ME song. It was silly but that was the point. They’d post it on some random Tuesday afternoon when things were slow as a little gift for ARMY. 

Hoseok sang his part into the mic set up on the dark glass table. They added a rap this time, too but ARMY seemed to like it when they sang so it was mostly vocal. Which meant they had to do a few more takes than they normally would. Now they were working on some adlibs for the outros. “How was that?” he hollered in the direction of the mirrored window that separated the recording part of the studio from the sound booth where they did the mixing. 

He heard Yoongi’s voice in his headphones, “You know you don’t have to yell right? You’re talking into the mic. I can hear you just fine.” 

Hoseok grinned in apology as Yoongi popped his head out of the small room. “It sounded great though. Let’s finish mixing the adlibs and then we’re done,” Yoongi said. “I can already tell it’s going to be a masterpiece.”

Hoseok pulled his headphones off and followed Yoongi into the soundbooth. 

An hour later, they finished their second listen-through of what would likely be their final product.

“Holy shit,” Yoongi said, “It IS a masterpiece.” 

Hoseok laughed. “An instant classic.”

“Do you think we should have had a feature? Get Namjoon in on this?”

Hoseok shook his head. “Why mess with perfection? Plus I’ve already started working out a choreo for two.”

Yoongi shook his head, “No no. No choreo.”

“Hyung, we’ve got to have a few steps planned in case we ever perform it...”

“Perform it?” Yoongi laughed incredulously. “We don’t even have a go ahead to drop it on Twitter. Perform it...you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.”

“This is going to be a Billboard number one.” Hoseok laughed. “We’ll perform it everywhere--the dance will have to be really special...intricate...complex.” 

“Fuck off,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“I’m thinking something very energetic…” Hoseok jumped up and started dancing, popping his chest, waving his arms and hands, feet moving too quickly.

Yoongi started to stand up too and Hoseok flinched and stopped dancing, “Okay, okay,” he laughed, conceding. “I’ll keep it to your speed.” Hoseok repeated the steps but in slow motion, his face wearing a matching warped, slow-motion grin.

Yoongi shoved him and Hoseok laughed. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket as the elder sat back down. 

“You’re ridiculous, Hope,” Yoongi said, turning back to the computer. 

“You love me,” Hoseok mumbled. He glanced down at his phone and saw Jimin’s name pop up. A different smile took over his face--one with a little more depth, and a little more heat. His finger hovered over the text box, debating about opening it. It’s probably a hello, seeing if he was free. He looked up at Yoongi. He wanted to be free for Jimin...but he owed Yoongi. And he was having a really good time. He could take this one night for his best friend, surely. He was about to slip the phone back into his pocket when he got two more texts in quick succession. His eyebrows knit together in curiosity as he opened them.

Jimin : My room.

Jimin : Come quick.

Jimin : Don’t knock, just come in .

Hoseok narrowed his eyes, concerned. These weren’t typical Jimin texts. Jimin used cute little winky faces and subtle flirts and heart emojis when he texted. These were so bare and direct. They seemed urgent. 

He looked up to see Yoongi watching him.

“Is everything okay?”

Hoseok nodded and slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah...I’m just feeling a little tired. All that work we did today, you know?”

Yoongi’s face was unreadable except that all of the humor that had been in it a moment ago was gone. Hoseok guessed that he was irritated or disappointed. But he’d spent almost nine hours with him today between basketball and lunch and dinner in the studio. He shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving now. Lying though...that he did feel guilty about. “I think I’m going to turn in.”

Yoongi’s lips tightened and he shrugged, swiveling his chair back to face the computer. “I’ll finish this up then and send it to you in the morning.”

Hoseok opened his mouth to apologize but that would mean acknowledging that he was doing something he needed to apologize for. Ditching him, lying to him...but as far as Yoongi should know, he was just going to bed. It would be weird to apologize for that, right? “Thanks, hyung,” he said instead, “Can you lock up when you leave?”

“Sure,” Yoongi agreed, still not looking at Hoseok.

Hoseok opened the door of the sound booth, “Goodnight, hyung. I...I had a good time with you today.”

“Mmhmm,” Yoongi was already back to clicking around in the production software and Hoseok sensed that meant Yoongi was done with the niceties so he shut the door softly behind him and made his way to the hallway. He didn’t feel good about how he left that. But Yoongi would be fine. 

He pulled his phone back out and saw a new text from less than a minute ago.

Jimin : Hurry, hyung!

He quickened his pace so that he was moving at a light jog toward Jimin’s room, trying to be as silent as possible.

By the time he arrived at Jimin’s, he was genuinely worried. He pushed the door open with more force than he intended, and it swung to hit the wall behind it before it slammed shut again. 

Hoseok blinked. The room was unexpectedly dim, lit only by the light of a small lamp on Jimin’s bedside table. He cast his eyes around as they slowly adjusted to the darkness trying to locate Jimin. When he finally found him, his jaw dropped, his blood blazed, and his breath caught in his chest. 

Jimin was stripped down to his tiny underwear--a black pair this time, with a black band--and positioned on the floor at the foot of his bed. He was on his knees which were spread wide and  his hands were clasped behind his back. He had a blindfold on and leather restraints clenched in his teeth--items Hoseok recognized from his box. 

Hoseok’s heart was pounding so fiercely he could hear it in ears and he felt himself begin to stiffen at the sight before him. His mouth dried up and his head spun--from shock, from arousal--and it was a solid minute before he regained enough of his senses to turn back around and bolt to the door to lock it quickly. 

He took a couple of deep breaths in the safety of the door frame, his mind reeling with the possibilities that were just presented to him. It was hard to think about anything but tearing Jimin to pieces this second. He was posed so perfectly. Just waiting to be taken. Just waiting for his Oppa to ruin him. But Hoseok’s brain was screaming that this whole scenario was too risky. He left the door unlocked . For god's sakes, anyone could have walked in and found him like this... 

Hoseok turned back around and made his way toward the blonde on the floor. “Jim--” he cleared his throat as he heard it crack a little. He saw a slight, smug smile sneak across Jimin’s lips. “Jiminie...this is a surprise.” 

Jimin remained silent but his chin raised a little as if he was proud. 

As Hoseok moved closer, he noticed that Jimin was hard beneath his briefs and there was a dark patch from where he was already dribbling against them. He was glad Jimin couldn’t see how flustered he was as he doubled over and tried to clear his head.

Hoseok hadn’t forgotten their conversation in the pantry a couple of days ago. Jimin hadn’t so much hinted that he wanted to be tied up as explicitly asked for it but Hoseok thought he’d been clear when he said no. He knew he was clear. He thought Jimin had understood and agreed. That was where the miscalculation had been. Of course Hoseok hadn’t been forthright with Jimin either. He’d said Jimin wasn’t ready for it, but Jimin would handle it just fine. Hell, Hoseok was sure Jimin would love it. Jimin liked pain but it was humiliation, degradation, and then praise that he’d earned for taking it that really got him off. Being tied up would be Jimin’s new favorite thing. Denying him this wasn’t about being worried that he wasn’t ready--the truth was Hoseok was scared of it. Apparently he hadn’t managed to dissuade his eager young lover and now he’d have to figure out a way to let him down gently.

He walked over to Jimin who inhaled in anticipation as he sensed his hyung’s proximity. Hoseok knelt down next to him and his mind flashed on an image of Jimin’s ankles strapped to his thighs and his wrists tied down to either side of the bed. He was throbbing at the thought and it took him everything he had not to give Jimin exactly what he wanted right now. 

Hoseok stroked Jimin’s head with one hand and Jimin gasped at the touch he didn’t see coming. He could almost feel the electricity coursing through Jimin’s body. He took the restraints out of Jimin’s mouth and then removed his blindfold.

Jimin looked surprised when the blindfold was pulled off. “No blindfold, Oppa?” he asked, a little disappointment in his voice.

Hoseok shook his head and looked at him sympathetically. “Minnie, you look so hot. This is so hot.” 

Jimin sensed a ‘but’ coming and his face fell instantly, morphing from confused to irritated in a blink.

“Hoseok, I want you to tie me up and fuck me.” Jimin wasn’t typically this demanding with Hoseok, preferring generally to follow his lead. But he wanted this so badly and he didn’t like hearing ‘no.’ Honestly, it wasn’t something he had to hear often--especially from Hoseok. Jimin looked up at the elder and widened his eyes precociously, batting his full lashes sweetly. “Please, Oppa,” he pouted, “I want this.”

Hoseok wanted it too, oh he wanted it. His cock had basically taken on a life of its own as he watched Jimin beg him for it. But he didn’t know where Taehyung was. He didn’t know where anyone was. He didn’t know how much time they had or how much time it would take...there were too many variables to guarantee things wouldn’t go sideways. “Minnie, it’s too risky.” 

Jimin dropped the pout and threw his hands up in frustration. “It’s not! I know what I want and I want this! Why won’t you trust me? You never trust me!”

Hoseok grabbed Jimin’s face with both of his hands, “Hey, hey,” he said, soothingly, “it’s not that. I know you’re ready. I know we’re ready.”

Jimin’s eyes narrowed. “Then why?” 

Hoseok sighed, “Jimin, if someone starts to unlock the door or knocks and walks in to find me naked and you hog-tied, there’s literally nothing we could say to protect ourselves. I couldn’t get you untied quick enough—not the way I tie knots. At least if you weren’t tied up and we were interrupted we’d have options. Enough to create a scenario that gave us some plausible deniability.” He ran his hands down Jimin’s arms. “I want this, too, I promise. I want to do this to you so badly.” He closed his eyes and took a ragged breath as if to prove that even the idea of it took a toll. “But this is something we’re going to have to save for when we can be sure we have some real, extended, absolute privacy.”

Jimin rolled his eyes. Hoseok was always so paranoid about getting caught. Jimin imagined he must run scenarios in his head like this every waking hour. Like them getting caught was an inevitability in his mind and the minutes until that moment arrived were constantly counting down. It’s not that he didn’t make a fair point--if someone found him naked and tied up...yeah, that would be hard to explain. But for Jimin, the reward/risk ratio worked out much differently in his own head. 

“Ugh, fine.” Jimin said, pouting again and getting to his feet. “Just go then.”

Hoseok followed him. “Minnie, we can still fool around since I’m here.” He smiled flirtatiously. “I mean, it would be a shame not to take advantage of what we’ve already got going…” He stepped closer to him, motioning to their growing hard-ons.

“Are you going to make it worth my time?” He crossed his arms, and raised his chin. 

Hoseok considered him for a moment behind suddenly cold eyes. “Don’t I always make it worth your time, Jimin?” 

There was a tension in the conversation. Hoseok thought Jimin sounded genuinely irritated. And he was a little offended that Jimin was pulling an attitude with him. He knew Jimin knew he was right. 

But Hoseok being right didn’t change the fact that he’d made Jimin a promise it was time to make good on. He’d promised to give him a taste of extreme. He couldn’t tie him up. He wouldn’t tie him up. But in the last couple of days he had given a little thought to what else he might do to appease Jimin. Something new and exciting and sufficiently humiliating in that way he knew Jimin liked, but relatively easy to clean up in a worst-case scenario. But it meant a trip back to his room.

Hoseok stepped closer to Jimin, intentionally menacing over him. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Jimin.” He could feel the younger cower a little below him, but he also heard his breath hitch excitedly. “I’m going to leave for a few minutes. You’re going to lock the door behind me then get on the bed and lie down, face up, arms behind your back. You’re going to stay there silently, thinking about everything Oppa does for you and when I come back, you’re going to say thank you and be happy I’m spending any time on your ungrateful ass at all.”

Jimin swallowed, the hair on his neck prickling. 

“Do you understand?” 

Jimin nodded quickly, “Yes, Oppa. I’ll do as you say,” he said.

Hoseok held out his hand. “Give me your key.”

Jimin rushed to where his jeans were folded on the floor and retrieved his room key for Hoseok. 

Hoseok didn’t say anything as he took it and made his way to the door but he glared sternly at Jimin until the younger lowered his eyes. Hoseok left the room, waiting for the click of the lock before he took off. 

He ran down the hall again, as quickly and quietly as possible until he got to his room. He dove for his box and pulled it out. It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for. It was still a little bit of a risk but something Hoseok could handle. And it’s something Jimin would like even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

That was going to be the tough part. Jimin was a beautiful, kind, loving human but he had a very strong petty streak and he could be so stubborn and bitter when he didn’t get his way. Hoseok always worked hard for Jimin but he was going to have to outdo himself to satiate him with something other than full out bondage.

He grabbed a small dark tote bag from his closet and shoved the risqué items inside. He couldn’t very well walk down a hallway with them out in the open. He passed a mirror and paused, eyeing his grey sweats and loose-fitting tee. This won’t do . This sort of thing was better in black. So he changed quickly and ran back to Jimin’s room.

Jimin heard the door open finally. It hadn’t actually been that long but he was impatient and aroused and irritated and all of that made the minutes seem to stretch into infinity. But as he looked over at Hoseok, he understood the wait. He had changed outfits. Jimin liked him in what he was wearing before--the comfy sweats and beanie and glasses--Hoseok could pull anything off and look effortlessly cool and sexy in it. But, if his new outfit was any indication about what was in store, Jimin was eager to begin. He wore a pair of tightly-fitted black skinny jeans with silver loops locked into the waistband. He had on a loose black button up that was tucked into his jeans and had the top four buttons loosed. He had put on a thin black choker which pulled across his prominent Adam’s apple and his hair was down and tousled messily over his forehead. Jimin saw Hoseok smile a little smugly and he was glad Hoseok knew how good Jimin thought he looked. 

Hoseok’s hands moved to the buttons on his shirt as he opened it the rest of the way to pull off, revealing a black mesh tank top. The netting was small enough that it looked solid but dark, and see through and Jimin audibly gasped at the way his bare skin looked under it. In this silhouette and color, Hoseok looked so slender and he moved so gracefully and quickly, like a cat. “Oppa,” Jimin said, taking the risk of speaking before being spoken to, “you look so sexy. Thank you. I thought about all you do for me. Thank you, Oppa. You’re so good to me. You always fuck me so good. I’m so grateful. Thank you.”

Hoseok didn’t say anything but his eyes flickered up to Jimin’s to acknowledge that he’d heard him. He turned around to his tote on the table and began to pull out what he brought. “Close your eyes, Jimin.” He said, his back to the bed and the boy spread out on it. He gave Jimin a second to comply and then turned around toward him, contraption in hand.

Jimin looked good too. He always looked good. But Hoseok never got tired of seeing him on display like this. He moved to the bed and crawled on top of Jimin, straddling him. Jimin took a nervous breath and Hoseok waited patiently for his nerves to build in anticipation until he saw Jimin’s lips trembling. 

Hoseok slid his hand around Jimin’s neck and pulled him up a little. Jimin felt rough fabric--leather or suede maybe brush against his neck and gasped as he felt it wrap around it. His breathing picked up speed and volume and he felt Hoseok release him to use both hands to lock the contraption. He felt cold little pieces of hardware against his clavicle and then felt a tug as metal hit metal and he felt weight added to the thing around his neck. A strap fell against him, this one not leather--nylon maybe? And chainlink. The sensations repeated on the other side of his neck and Jimin gleaned that Hoseok was attaching straps to the collar. Straps that he was suddenly pulling toward the headboard. Jimin was forced back by the pull as the other side was secured too and finally he felt Hoseok sit back and remove his hands. 

“You can open your eyes now, pet.” Hoseok said. 

Jimin’s eyes fluttered open and he looked to the side to confirm what he already knew about his situation. He was wearing a collar--it was thick and sturdy--and he was attached at that collar by nylon and metal chains to the headboard on either side. Like a dog on a leash. He noticed there were loops on the straps and as soon as he saw them, he felt Hoseok’s hands guide his own to grip them. They’re hand-holds . Jimin’s hands tightened on the loops, holding them clenched in his fists. The loops had little buckles on them that looked like they adjusted--probably to tighten on the wrist and act more as a restraint then a grip but Hoseok didn’t seem to want to use them right now. That would probably defeat the purpose of this compromise because that would essentially be tying him up so he didn’t press the issue. Him holding onto the loops and having his neck tethered to the headboard was close enough for now. He lifted his head a little and moved it side to side, testing his mobility. The contraption was quite restrictive. He couldn’t lean forward much at all without putting pressure on his throat. 

He looked up to see Hoseok watching him with deep, discerning eyes. He hoped Hoseok could see the excitement behind the fear he knew was there too. 

“Minnie?”

Jimin swallowed. “I want to see what I look like.” 

Hoseok looked at him for a second, considering him, his request, but then he climbed off and grabbed his phone. 

He turned on his camera, front facing and held it above Jimin, watching his eyes grow wide and searching. They lingered on the collar for a while and Hoseok knew Jimin was admiring the heft of it. The collar was expensive and sturdy and felt intimidating. It made Jimin’s neck look so delicate and soft in stark juxtaposition. 

“You look so pretty, Minnie,” Hoseok said softly. 

Jimin bit his lip, “Will you...will you take a picture?”

Hoseok pulled his phone away and closed the camera. “No pictures, Jimin. We can’t have pictures.” 

Jimin didn’t argue. It was one of their early rules and it made sense. And it’s not like Hoseok was just going to just change his mind about it all of a sudden anyway.     

As Hoseok put his phone back, he grabbed a few more items from his bag. He returned to Jimin and lifted the hot pink ball gag aloft. 

It wasn’t difficult to tell that Jimin had been waiting to use this toy too. His eyes lit up and he smiled excitedly. “Raise your head a little, Jimin.” Jimin complied and Hoseok quickly secured the gag, tightening it behind his head. Jimin’s lips stretched obscenely over the ball, full and wet, and the strap was tight across his cheeks, pulling them in.

“Can you hum your safe-word for me, nice and loud?” 

Jimin hummed “Daydream, Daydream” and Hoseok was relieved to hear how clear he made it sound. He would know if Jimin needed an out. 

“Good boy. One more piece, pet,” Hoseok pulled out the blue jewelry box he’d tucked in his back pocket and carefully lifted out Jimin’s chain. 

Jimin moaned around the ball gag and fidgeted excitedly. 

Hoseok attached the clamps one by one and felt Jimin becoming his as he did so. His Jiminie . He ran the back of his fingers against Jimin’s chest, eyes shimmering as he admired the boy beneath him. He should see himself like this too . He looked remarkable. Like a fantasy. Too good to be true. Hoseok jumped up and grabbed his phone again, holding it to Jimin’s face.

Jimin’s expression upon seeing himself was different this time. His eyes were lidded and heavy with arousal but, instead of searching, they darted quickly away and his breathing picked up as if he was distressed. He was embarrassed that he’d asked for this. Ashamed of how much it turned him on--how eager he was to submit himself to this. And Hoseok knew the humiliation he was feeling was why they were both enjoying this as much as they were. 

“Look at yourself, Jimin.” Hoseok said, his voice low but full of excitement. “Look at how pretty you look, how pathetic you look.” Jimin started to turn away again, but Hoseok caught his chin and forced it back. “You look such a whore for, Oppa. Such a pretty whore.” 

He felt Jimin’s cock twitch under him and the moan that came out of him started deep in his belly. 

Hoseok closed his phone and tossed it to the floor before leaning back to pull his top off. 

He paused for just a minute. He was sure Jimin thought he was just teasing him but the reality was that he didn’t know where to start. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to worship him. He wanted to pinch and scratch and kiss and tickle and he didn’t know what to do first. There didn’t seem to be enough time in the world to appreciate everything that was in front of him right now. To devour it and defile it and pleasure it and possess it. 

“I don’t have to tell you not to let go of those straps, do I? My pet knows better?”

Jimin nodded, and hummed a muffled, “Yes, Oppa” through the gag. 

Hoseok trailed his fingers over Jimin’s chest relishing the way he shivered and flinched at the gentle stimulation. He crawled off of Jimin and leaned over, still between his legs, and splayed his hands over Jimin’s ribs--they covered so much of him. He placed his lips on the warm skin beside Jimin’s belly button and he smiled when Jimin’s stomach tensed under him. He was so sensitive today. Hoseok loved that he was having this much of an effect on him. He stayed there for a minute, his weight on Jimin’s mid-section, paying intense attention to the few inches of skin there. He felt the Jimin’s member hard and wet in his underwear against his chest and Jimin’s legs were restless beside him.

He let his kisses trail down further, going as slow as he could manage given how impatient he was. He delicately gripped the band of Jimin’s underwear in his teeth allowing them to scrape at the skin as he did so and pulled them down, taking his time to navigate the many generous curves and valleys he encountered on the way, and finally off. Returning to his middle, he lowered his arms and slid them under Jimin’s thighs, bringing his lips to the beautifully carved notch where his leg met his pelvis. He nipped at the flesh there and sucked a mark deep into the skin, listening to the sighs and gasps Jimin was making above him. He circled around the center of Jimin’s arousal a few times, each pass taking him closer to the throbbing member in front of him. Jimin was writhing around almost violently now, reaching the furthest limits of his tolerance for such teasing. 

Finally, Hoseok took Jimin into his mouth. His tongue circled around his wet head as he focused on dragging his lips over its ridge again and again. Jimin was moaning so loudly and if the gag had been absent, he might have been screaming. Hoseok took Jimin in further, relaxing his throat to let the boy all the way in. It had been a while since he’d taken anyone so deep but Jimin hadn’t had the pleasure of a deepthroat yet and he’d been so good for him so far. So Hoseok angled himself above Jimin and lowered himself even further, letting Jimin reach the back of his throat and then swallowing around him. Jimin jerked at the sensation and, despite the gag, Hoseok clearly heard him curse loudly. Hoseok swallowed again and Jimin was reduced to something almost inhuman. Hoseok glanced up and saw his knuckles were white from his grip on the loops and his eyes were unfocused and glazed over as they stared in the direction of the ceiling above him. 

Hoseok pulled himself off, and Jimin seemed to protest, but the whining was premature. “If you’re going to whine then fine, I guess I won’t let you cum after all…” 

Jimin squealed and somehow Hoseok understood it was an apology. An apology and a plea for forgiveness. For more. Hoseok returned his lips to Jimin’s cock, working slowly and deliberately to draw him painfully close to orgasm. Jimin was crying above him, still begging with what sounds he could. Hoseok lifted his head again but he wrapped his hand around his cock and continued stroking. He studied him and smirked. “You would look awfully pretty with this all over you, though…” 

Jimin nodded vigorously, chains rattling against the headboard as he did. “Okay, pet, cum all over yourself. Nice and messy for Oppa.” 

Jimin released onto his stomach before Hoseok even finished his sentence. Pearlescent streaks marked his abdomen and all the way up to his chest. A little had gotten on the chain--Hoseok should have thought to remove it. It would take some care to clean. But he really did look so perfect all marked up like this with his ties and his gag and the sparkling gems. Hoseok would forgive it just this once.

Jimin was panting, breaths coming with difficulty around the gag. He looked so worn out and wrecked already.  But Hoseok was throbbing and he liked it when they came together so tired or not, Jimin still had work to do.

Hoseok raised Jimin’s legs to wrap around him. He ran his fingers down around Jimin’s ass and found his plug in place. Hoseok was surprised to find it there for a second--he hadn’t instructed him to use it. But then he realized Jimin had probably put it in before he texted him to come tie him up. Hoseok was a little disappointed, having been looking forward to drawing out the tease a little, but on the bright side it meant he got to be in Jimin now. 

Skipping the pomp and circumstance that felt so needless suddenly, Hoseok pulled the plug from Jimin and positioned his head at his entrance. He pushed in and groaned in relief as the younger clenched around him. “Fuck, Jimin. That’s so good.” He knew Jimin was sensitive, having just climaxed minutes ago, so he took it slow at first, giving him time to adjust. It was tough to be patient though. Jimin was a mess with drool spilling out around the gag onto his chin and neck. Hoseok liked seeing him gagged and he knew Jimin liked being gagged but he wanted to hear him and kiss him so Hoseok decided it had to go. He put his hand behind Jimin’s neck and pulled him slightly forward to release the ball. Jimin seemed eager to help and he lurched toward Hoseok too quickly. The chains pulled taut against the headboard and the collar dug into his throat. Jimin choked around the gag and Hoseok quickly pushed Jimin back and pulled the ball from his mouth. 

Jimin coughed and gasped, moving his jaw around to stretch it and panting to catch his breath. His eyes were wide and he looked a little startled but he seemed fine, physically. Hoseok was about to ask him if he was okay but he never got a chance because Jimin locked eyes with him and all that was there now was fire. Jimin raised his head again slowly and soon the collar started to dig into his skin again. Hoseok watched him curiously, still pumping into him, as the younger moved closer and pulled the collar tighter against his own throat. 

Hoseok could hear his breath getting thinner, more haggard and he could also see that the struggle was rapidly making him harder. He liked this. He liked being choked . “Jesus Christ, Jimin,” Hoseok said, a dark surprised chuckle in his voice. “Is there a kink you don’t have?”

Jimin looked surprised at himself too and his face was starting to turn red as he tried to rattle in another breath. Hoseok was watching him carefully and he leaned down to kiss him, pulling his head forward just a little more until his air was entirely cut off. He kissed him like that for just a couple of seconds, until he felt Jimin’s pulse quicken under his fingers. He pulled away and started to push Jimin back down to the bed, creating slack in the line. But Jimin was resisting him, trying to push himself back forward, excited to have found something new to explore and test his limits with.

Choking wasn’t really Hoseok’s thing. He liked inflicting pain. He liked humiliating others. But putting people in danger? It didn’t really do it for him. He didn’t mind doing it, if Jimin liked it. He’d been told his hands were perfect for wrapping around someone’s throat and his fingers were strong enough to cut the air off himself. But Hoseok had only tried it once or twice and he wasn’t sure he knew enough to do it safely. He wanted to learn more before they pushed it any further. Talking Jimin out of it was only going to ruin their pace, though, so Hoseok opted for a sneakier tactic. 

He pressed his lips against Jimin’s forcefully, driving him safely back into the pillow and pulled his legs up to his chest, pinning him. He wanted to try something, too, and it would definitely distract Jimin from his new-found breathplay kink. He’d thought about doing it every time he’d used this contraption--tried it a couple times even. It never worked out. But then he’d never had a partner as flexible as Jimin. 

“Jimin,” Hoseok said, and Jimin blinked and looked at him confused. Because the tone Hoseok had used suddenly was not his Oppa tone. “I need you to pay attention to your body now and tell me immediately if something’s not right. Do you understand?”

Jimin narrowed his eyes but nodded.

“Words, Jimin.”

“Yes, I understand.” He didn’t say ‘Oppa’ but Hoseok didn’t correct him. 

Because he wasn’t asking as his concerned Oppa. As Hoseok’s hand moved to Jimin’s foot and started to straighten his leg from where it was pressed against his chest, Jimin understood. Hoseok was asking as his concerned Dance Leader. He was stretching him quite far, trying to get his feet through the same loops as his hands. So he was worried about injury not discomfort or pain. He wanted to make sure Jimin was aware enough of what his body was feeling to catch him before he pulled or strained something critical. Something about that hit him deep in his gut. Hoseok cared about him in so many ways

Jimin’s eyes fluttered under a new emotion--that now all too familiar romantic desire. Sexual need informed by passionate love burned through him at the thought of Dance Instructor Hoseok monitoring him, watching his every move carefully, critically, making sure he was up to par, making sure he was perfect. Being fucked by Dance Instructor Hoseok was a fantasy he’d had more times than he could count. He loved being under his critical eye. Jimin knew that, after this, he’d never be able to stretch with him again without getting a hard on. He blinked as Hoseok moved to his other leg, fighting the slip back into his blissful daze enough to do what Dance Instructor Hoseok was asking. He concentrated on the muscle groups in his legs and core in particular. But the closer his second foot got to the loop, the more he realized that this wasn’t going to be a problem for him. He barely felt a stretch at all. It felt good.

More than good . He felt so exposed like this. Almost entirely immobile, messy with cum, spread wide for the man between his legs. The only thing he could do in this position was get fucked. Having his agency stripped from him like that--giving control entirely to his Oppa--he’d never been so restrained but he’d never felt so free and uninhibited. And he burned with need. Especially when he saw the almost frenzied look on Hoseok’s face.

“Fuck, Minnie, you’re incredible,” Hoseok growled, his eyes sparkling as he gazed upon the younger possessively. Hungrily.  

Jimin felt like Hoseok’s last meal and he was eager to be devoured by him.

Hoseok fucked him with long, slow strokes for minutes, his body pulled back so that he could see every inch of him as he did. He could have ended it quickly--god knows he was aching for release and he was almost over-stimulated with the erotic scene in front of him--but having Jimin in this position was too good to give up so soon. He liked seeing the muscles ripple along the back of Jimin’s thighs and his toes wiggle and clench desperately. He liked seeing the way his face contorted with pleasure and how the heavy gasps made his stomach tighten and flex. He liked seeing his eyes flutter almost shut and then widen in pleasure every time Hoseok jabbed his prostate. 

“Oppa,” Jimin rattled, barely enough of his senses about him to beg, “please...please…”

Hoseok didn’t have the will to hold off anymore. He leaned forward, placing his arms on either side of Jimin’s torso and adjusted his angle to hit Jimin right where he needed it. It took less than thirty seconds before Jimin was pleading, “Please! Please, Oppa. May I? Please I need to!”

Hoseok moved his lips to Jimin’s cheek and pressed a few hot kisses into it, “Yes, my Minnie. Cum for me. Cum for Oppa.”

And Jimin did and then Hoseok did and the two of them spent their recovery passing their lips across each other’s lazily for minutes. 

Hoseok was tired and he didn’t feel like moving but Jimin was still tethered up and he was the priority here. He hoisted himself up and helped Jimin’s feet out of the loops, lowering them gently back onto the bed. He unhooked the nylon chains from the headboard, the clasps clicking open with a flick and then unlocked the collar and pulled it from his neck. Finally, he removed Jimin’s nipple chain, taking the same care to sooth them as he had last time. 

Jimin was sighing so happily, cute little hums slipping past his lips as Hoseok cleaned him up. Hoseok couldn’t help but smile as he listened to it. He returned the toys and Jimin’s chain to his tote and then laid back down on the bed with Jimin. He pulled the younger onto his chest and ran his hand up and down his back affectionately.   

“That was pretty close to being tied up, right, Minnie?” he said, kissing the top of his head. “Did you like it?”

Jimin nodded sleepily. “I really did, Hoseokie.” 

“And that wasn’t all you liked, was it?” Hoseok teased.

He felt Jimin become still on top of him.

Hoseok craned his neck to get a look at his face. He was blushing and chewing on his lip.

“No,” Jimin murmured.

“You liked choking, didn’t you?” Hoseok prompted him, softly.

Jimin looked distressed and Hoseok understood. He’d been there. He ran his fingers through Jimin’s hair. 

“Minnie, did I ever tell you about the first time I realized I liked hurting people?”

Jimin looked up at him, surprised at his words...as if he was just realizing that Hoseok must have had a hard time coming to terms with all this stuff too. And hearing it put like that...that he liked to hurt people...he’d never realized how at odds all that was with who he knew Hoseok to be--the sweet, kind, loving man who couldn’t hurt a fly. He never thought about how strange that must have been for Hoseok to discover about himself.

“It’s probably not as interesting as it sounds…” Hoseok chucked. “I’ve always had this impulse to pinch or bite ever since I was young. I’d cataloged it in my head as teasing. Harmless. Fun. The goal wasn’t to cause pain--I never went about it thinking about how the pinched or bitten felt...but the pressure of my fingers on skin or my teeth on flesh just felt so satisfying to me. I was fooling around with this guy one day--nothing crazy, we were just making out a little and I got that impulse to pinch. So I did and he...he moaned . And it was like I was struck by lightning. So I kept pinching and I knew it must be hurting him cause I could see the marks I was leaving but he kept moaning and I kept tingling and when it was over, I didn’t know what to make of it. What to make of me...What did it say about me that inflicting pain caused me pleasure…?”

Jimin didn’t say anything.

“I told myself it caused him pleasure too.” Hoseok continued, “And that it was his pleasure that I was actually getting off on. And sure that was part of it but there was something about the role I was playing as the inflictor that was critical. I did a ton of research on sexual sadism, trying to figure out why I liked it so much and read theories about it being me wanting power over some part of my life or seeing something sadistic that left an impression on my love map in early childhood...but at the end of the day I just had to accept that I liked what I liked and there was nothing I could do about that. All I could do was learn how to do things safely and communicate with my partners to make sure I was staying firmly within their comfort zones.” 

Hoseok sighed, sympathetically. “What I like to do in bed, does not define who I am as a person. As much as I enjoy spanking you, there is no part of me that enjoys your pain in other contexts. And what you like to do in bed--to have done to you in bed--does not define who you are as a person either, Jiminie.”

“I respect myself, Hobi.” Jimin said quietly but firmly. “I promise I do.” 

“I know, Jimin.” Hoseok said, tilting Jimin’s head up. “I have no doubt. I’m glad you know that.” 

“It is hard though…” Jimin continued, “knowing that I want to be humiliated and called names and flogged and...and choked…” 

“I know that too, Jimin.” Hoseok squeeze him tightly. “But I respect you. And I hope you recognize your own power in knowing what you want and being able to trust someone--to trust me--to give it to you. As long as I’m around, I’ll never stop reminding you how powerful you are.”

Jimin nodded and after a few seconds of silence he said, “Can we try choking again next time?”

Hoseok rubbed Jimin’s back, reassuringly, “We can definitely explore it. But you have to be patient. It can be dangerous if it isn’t done right and I haven’t had a lot of practice. So promise me you’ll give me some time to do some homework and you’ll let me take it slow?”

Jimin smiled at him warmly. Hoseok had been patient with him so many times. Jimin could certainly do it at least this once too. He appreciated that Hoseok wanted to be careful and do it right. “I’ll be patient, hyung,” he said, wrapping his arms around Hoseok to squeeze him. “Thank you.”  

The pair cuddled for another fifteen minutes until Hoseok started to get a little anxious that everything was so quiet. They dressed again and shared a kiss at the door before Hoseok walked back to his room, his naughty bag of tricks in hand.

***

Hoseok leaned up against the wide stone pillar in the parking garage. The team was all there, waiting for their cars. They were treating themselves to a big family dinner at a fancy restaurant in the nicest area in Seoul. The restaurant had just opened and the owner had extended the offer personally to host the group privately. It wasn’t a terribly novel thing--every restaurant in Seoul wanted to brag that BTS had dined with them. But Jin in particular had insisted the agency take them up on this one. The restaurant wasn’t just one of the best in Seoul, it was already making a name for itself as one of the best in Northeast Asia. So they made the time and called it a retreat. Hoseok was looking forward to it. 

Jimin was looking forward to it too. He watched Hobi leaning against the pillar and caught himself pulling a dopey smile. The boys had dressed up a little to match the ambiance of the restaurant and Hobi had chosen a pair of snug black slacks and a form-fitting, black ribbed turtleneck. The sleeves of his sweater were pushed up so his toned forearms were out and oh-so tempting, and a delicate diamond bracelet hung around his slender wrist. He had on his favorite pair of black Chelsea boots--a pair that Jimin had bought him years ago--and he carried a sleek navy blue clutch under his arm. He completed the look with a pair of round-framed glasses that perched on his high, small nose. He looked so sophisticated. So handsome. Hoseok looked up and their eyes met. He smiled and his cheeks turned a little pink as he realized Jimin was watching him and he raised his hand to push his hair back. Jimin smiled back and he could feel the hearts twinkling in his own eyes as he admired him. He blinked them away before Tae or someone else called them out again and then walked over to Hoseok.

“Hey you,” he said, standing in front of the elder.

“Hi, Jiminie,” Hoseok said. “You look nice. Tough.”

Jimin glanced over at Namjoon who was a foot away on his phone.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin smiled. He twisted his body a little showing off the dressy white blouse he was wearing under his fitted leather jacket and he rolled his ankle drawing attention to his shiny black combat boots. They grinned at each other, the same thought passing between them: Jimin looked tough, dominating in his hard leather and Hoseok looked soft and pretty. There wasn’t a submissive bone in Hoseok’s whole body but maybe one day he’d let Jimin take charge. If he was wearing something like this, he might not be able to resist.

The cars pulled up and Jimin turned back to Hoseok. He tilted his head toward the first car. “Coming?” 

Hoseok looked over to Yoongi and saw him heading toward the back car. “I’m going to ride with Yoongi,” he made an apologetic face but Jimin smiled and shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine.” Jimin had noticed some growing tension between Yoongi and Hoseok. It was especially obvious this morning. It was easy enough to guess the cause as he’d been worried about going through the same thing with Tae. Hoseok and Jimin spent a lot of time together. Most of their spare time. Which meant their respective platonic other-halves were seeing less of them than usual. He and Tae roomed together so it probably felt less obvious between them but Yoongi and Hoseok had been going days without seeing each other and, as solitary as Yoongi sometimes liked to be, his time with Hoseok was important to him. It was to Hobi too. He was happy to give Hobi room to make up with Yoongi. “See you at the restaurant. I’ll save you a seat.”

Hoseok grinned at him and leaned forward. “It’s a date,” he whispered.

And Jimin’s heart exploded. It was a joke. A fun little flirt. But gosh he wished it was a date. He wished they could date. He wished Hobi would ask him on a date. When they met up in the pantry or a bathroom or a closet, Hobi called them “hook ups.” But Jimin had come to affectionately refer to them as “dates.” Not to Hobi. Not even out loud at all. But in his head, they were dates. He huffed a sad chuckle under his breath. It sounded a little pathetic, he guessed. But this one Hobi had called a date so Jimin was going to count it. Even if they were surrounded by their friends and staff. Even if it wasn’t going to be full of meaningful gazes over romantic candlelight. Even if Hoseok didn’t show up with flowers. It counted.

He watched Hoseok climb into the black car after Yoongi and turned to join Jin, Tae, and Jungkook in the other. 

“Hey hyung,” Hoseok said, sliding in next to Yoongi. Namjoon was in the front seat, still on his phone, probably surfing Twitter per usual but he wasn’t paying any attention to the pair in back.

“Hey,” Yoongi said, pulling his phone out too.

“I’m still sore from basketball,” Hoseok laughed, rolling his shoulder dramatically.

“Hmm.” 

“Probably because I played so well. This is how all the greats must feel…” 

Yoongi didn’t say anything and he didn’t seem amused at all by his joke.

Hoseok sucked on his teeth and rolled his eyes. It’s not like he didn’t get it, Yoongi’s attitude. He ditched him. He made up an excuse and ditched him to go be with Jimin. And yesterday wasn’t the first time he’d done it and a lot of times he didn’t even show up to be able to ditch Yoongi at all. He’d been a really lackluster friend lately. And Yoongi was just worried about him.

“Did you finish our song?” Hoseok tried again.

Yoongi shrugged. “Who cares? It’s just a stupid joke.”

“I care.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, “Oh? Huh. Didn’t seem like it.”

Hoseok sighed, “Hyung, I’m sorry I left last night but we spent all day together and--”

Yoongi turned to him suddenly, his face cold and intimidating, and Hoseok fell silent. “Yeah, all day. I should be grateful that you were willing to commit all that time to me. A whole day of your valuable time. Just for me.” He nodded, “Thanks, Hope. For the privileges afforded to me as your best friend.”

The pointed sarcasm cut deep. Yoongi was his best friend. In a different way than Jimin was. Yoongi had really been with him since the beginning. They’d been through tough, complicated, heavy times together and for a lot of it, they’d only really had each other. Yoongi had looked out for him, defended him, comforted him in his own way when he wasn’t as good at comforting himself. He had his back from day one--as Hoseok had for him. It really wasn’t fair that Hoseok had put him on the back burner for Jimin. If he and Jimin didn’t have to be so secret, they could all hang out together. But that wasn’t an option at this point. He had to choose. 

Hoseok paused realizing that that’s what was happening. He was repeatedly choosing Jimin over Yoongi. Was that just choosing sex over friendship? He didn’t like the way that sounded. He didn’t want to be the guy that sacrificed important relationships for something as superficial as sex. But it was the least confusing explanation. Because if it wasn’t that, then Jimin had somehow became more important to him than the most important person in his life and that was complicated. So yeah. Yeah, he was choosing sex. 

So he was officially a jerk and Yoongi had every right to be mad at him. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry.” Hoseok said softly so Joon didn’t hear him. “I’ll do better.”

Yoongi just turned away, watching the city pass by through the tinted windows. 

The two didn’t speak again and when they arrived at the restaurant a little behind the others, Hoseok took the vacant seat next to Jimin while Yoongi moved to the other side of the table beside Jungkook.

Jimin seemed to notice something was up right away. As soon as the wine came to the table, he watched Hoseok pour himself an unreasonably full glass and down half of it in a couple of gulps. Hoseok didn’t even like wine that much. “Are you okay, hyung?” Jimin asked quietly.

Hoseok took another swig and shrugged, “Oh sure. My best friend hates me and I definitely deserve it but other than that, I’m totally fine.” He turned and gave Jimin a big smile. “You still love me though, right Jiminie?”

Jimin pursed his lips and squeezed Hoseok’s knee. “Yes, Hobi. I love you.” 

Hoseok looked at him a second too long and Jimin wished he had stripped a little more emotion out of the phrase before he delivered it. He cleared his throat awkwardly, but Hoseok’s smile just got bigger. “I love you, too, Jimin-ah,” he said. 

And just like that Hoseok’s mood seemed to improve. Or at least that’s what anyone who didn’t know him as well as Jimin did might think. His energy felt artificial. He was overcompensating. His vulnerability was evident in how clingy and handsy he became. Especially as he consumed more and more wine. Jimin was blushing at how high Hoseok’s hands crawled up his thigh under the table. At one point, he’d even pushed his fingers under his shirt in the back so that he was tracing little circles into the small of his back. And his words were becoming increasingly flirtatious--stuff that could pass for now as playful teasing to the others but that alluded to specific explicit things between the two of them.

“Come for a walk with me,” Jimin felt Hoseok’s breath almost against his ear. He glanced around--no one was paying them any attention, but he was still relieved when Hoseok leaned back into his own space again. 

Jimin nodded, “Sure.” Hoseok got to his feet and followed signs that pointed the way to the bathrooms and Jimin slipped away after him, following casually a few steps back. The path took them through a small courtyard in the middle of the restaurant and Jimin stopped in the shadows of the tall bushes that separated the intimate courtyard from the public. He grabbed the back of Hoseok’s shirt and pulled him into the shadows with him. There were twinkling lights threaded through the bushes and Jimin appreciated the way the soft lighting made Hoseok’s skin luminesce.  

“Jung Hoseok,” Jimin said as he tugged his hyung into the space in front of him. He looked at Hoseok accusingly. 

Hoseok was a little taken aback. “Why do I feel like I’m in trouble?” he asked.

“Because you are.” Jimin said, narrowing his eyes threateningly. 

“Oh, am I?” Hoseok looked amused. He could tell Jimin was trying to lay down the law but he just looked too cute to take seriously.  

“Mmm-hmm,” Jimin nodded, reaching forward to pull at the hem of Hoseok’s sweater. “You’ve had some very naughty hands this evening. Hands that keep wandering where they shouldn’t.” He walked his fingers up Hoseok’s chest.

Hoseok laughed, indignant. Yeah, maybe he had gotten a little handsy--he was tipsy and a little sad and flirting with Jimin made him feel better--but he hadn’t crossed any lines and besides, it was Jimin who was the troublemaker between them. 

“What about you?” Hoseok fired back. “You’ve been insufferable all night--intentionally trying to get me worked up. Sticking your whole finger in your mouth to suck sauce off the tip? Licking your lips in slow motion. The pornographic moans after you have a bite of something. Do you know how many times you’ve put your hands on your ass since we left the house? 12. 12 . I know. I saw all of them!”

Jimin was trying to suppress a smug smile. Hoseok was exaggerating but maybe he had been a little flirtatious too. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

“Agh, Park Jimin,” Hoseok said, closing the distance between them to grip Jimin’s sweater at his waist, “You’re such a tease.” He pressed his lips to Jimin’s in a wet kiss and Jimin sighed contentedly. Under the twinkly lights, in the cool night breeze, with the piano track playing softly through the speakers, he heard Hoseok’s voice in his head. It’s a date . This might be the closest they ever got to one so Jimin savored it for just a second. 

“Hyung,” Jimin said, reluctantly stopping Hoseok by gently pushing him back. “This is you being handsy again…”

Hoseok rolled his eyes and smirked but stepped back, leaning on a table for two set up there. 

Jimin smiled again and shook his head. “So Yoongi hates you, huh?”

Hoseok sighed, “He’s just upset that we don’t hang out very much anymore.”

“You spent all day with him yesterday though, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. But it was the first time in a while and I did ditch him to come see you…He’s not wrong. I’ve been a pretty lackluster friend lately…”

“You’re a great friend, Hoseok,” Jimin said, reassuringly. “Yoongi knows that.”

Hoseok just shrugged.

“You know, he hasn’t complained about not seeing me,” Jimin said with a little pout, hoping to lighten Hoseok’s mood a little.

Hoseok laughed, “If it’s any consolation, he cried to me for almost ten minutes about how much he misses you.”

“Really?” Jimin’s eyes widened, his expression a mix of flattery and devastation.

Hoseok smiled at him, a little patronizingly, “No, Jimin. But I’m sure he’s sad about it.”

A flash of light penetrated their space, and Jimin and Hoseok flinched from the brightness of it in the shadows. Then another flash came and they stood defensively with their hands over their face, looking for the source of the light. Hoseok saw it first, the black tube with a reflective lens peeking through the bushes. There were a couple of cameras actually, pointed at them by some brazen paparazzi on the sidewalk. 

“Ugh,” Jimin groaned, when he saw them too. The boys acted quickly, no stranger to nosy reporters surprising them, and they dashed out of the courtyard back toward their table. Once they were safely back in the building, the flashes disappearing as they moved out of view, they paused in the hall to regain their composure. 

Hoseok looked up at Jimin, the expression on his face clear. 

“It’s fine, Hobi,” Jimin said hurriedly, his shaky voice betraying his reassuring words. “It’s okay. We weren’t doing anything…”

Hoseok took another heavy breath, thinking about the kiss they’d shared in that courtyard just five minutes ago. He shook his head. “We both know we could have been…” 

Hoseok pushed off from the wall and walked back down the hall, and Jimin watched him go. He let his head fall back against the wall and clenched his eyes shut tightly. Fuck . He hadn’t seen that much fear or shame on Hoseok’s face in weeks. If this didn’t send him into a guilt spiral, Jimin would be shocked.

Hoseok threw himself back into his seat. “There’s paparazzi outside the courtyard,” he announced and one of their security staff and a waiter quickly headed that way. 

“Ugh, vultures,” Jin huffed.

“Everything okay?” Namjoon asked. 

Hoseok nodded and poured himself another big glass of wine. 

Jimin sat down just in time to watch Hoseok drain it. Hoseok didn’t look at him but when he grabbed the wine bottle again he poured a glass for each of them and Jimin downed his too.

***

Three hours later, Jimin found himself exactly where he needed to be after the stressful night they’d had, wrapped around Hoseok, naked under his sheets, hot lips pressed against hotter skin and strong, haphazard fingers digging into the soft flesh of his tingly body. The pair smelled of wine and their eyes slipped in an out of focus, seeing each other in glimpses through a thick haze of alcohol. 

Jungkook was somewhere. Not here, that was the important part. He’d disappeared shortly after they had gotten back to the room and it was good he did when he’d had because the two had become increasingly less careful since they left the restaurant and it would have been really easy for one of them or both of them to slip. 

With their inhibitions lowered and frankly their attention minimal, it was quick and sloppy. But that didn’t diminish their enjoyment. In fact, it was in ways more fun than some of their scenes. They paused frequently for fits of laughter when they missed kisses or fell out of rhythm while thrusting. It was almost sweet. Jimin had enough of his wits about him to appreciate that this was the kind of sex you only have deep into a relationship. They weren’t trying to impress each other (because they couldn’t really anyway). They were just enjoying each other’s company. They were comfortable and secure and happy. 

They finally collapsed onto the bed completely spent, matching grins on their faces, sweat shimmering on their bodies, legs, arms, fingers still tangled together. 

Hoseok pulled Jimin closer into him and blew a raspberry into his neck, causing the blonde to giggle and squirm in his arms. 

“Jiminie,” Hoseok cooed, “you’re amazing. That was amazing.” His words were thick and a little slurred. 

Jimin giggled again. He liked Hoseok tipsy like this. He was cute. He was playful. He was a little more open with his feelings and careless with his words, too and Jimin was loving all the extra affection.

“Jiminie. Jimiineeee. Minnie.” Hoseok chanted. “Such a cute name. For such a cute boy. You’re so cute, Minnie.” Jimin smiled as Hoseok piled his praises on him. 

“And you’re perfect. You’re sooooo perfect.” He paused. “Too perfect for me...” He said it with a hint of a smile still but his voice was suddenly sad. “I’ll never understand it. Why you came to me. Why you stay with me...” 

Jimin’s heart fluttered and clenched. Because I love you. Because maybe I’ve always loved you. “Because you’re perfect, Hoseok.” How could he not know how wonderful he was?

Hoseok’s face was suddenly brimming with emotion. It startled Jimin because it was so strong and it came on so quickly. “Can I ask you a question, Minnie?” Hoseok whispered, his eyes boring into the younger’s.

Jimin’s breath caught in his throat. His heart was pounding and hopeful little butterflies took flight in his stomach. “Anything, my Hobi,” Jimin said, leaning in toward him.

“Do you...do you ever feel guilty about all this?”

And just like that Jimin was falling. His stomach plummeted, sick all of a sudden from the rapid juke of emotion. Of course . He was so stupid. He should have expected this. After Yoongi. After the paparazzi. A burst of discomfort and anger cut through the haze of alcohol and it was remarkable how quickly Jimin’s head cleared.

“No.” Jimin answered plainly. “I don’t. Not anymore.”

“Really?” Hoseok frowned. “I do. All the time. Every second...It’s always there.”

Jimin didn’t say anything but he tried to untangle himself from Hoseok. He didn’t want to be held by him if he was going to do this again. But Hoseok didn’t budge--he barely seemed to notice Jimin’s resistance at all. 

“They’re going to lose everything, Jimin.” Hoseok said. “Everything they’ve worked for, everything that’s ever mattered to them.” 

Bangtan. He was talking about their brothers

“And it’s my fault. I’m going to destroy it all when people find out what I’m doing. And I’ve done it so easily. So casually. Like it’s nothing. Who am I to ruin their lives like this?” 

He sat up suddenly and pulled Jimin up with him, putting his hand roughly on his face. Jimin still didn’t speak. He just stared at him, tried to stare through him. Tried to screw up his face to hide how upset he was. 

“You seem so happy all the time, Minnie. And that makes me happy. I’m so happy you’re happy. That’s made it so easy to forget everything else most of the time. All the hurt I’m causing. Every time the guilt starts to get overwhelming, I see you humming along with a smile radiating through every part of your glorious body and I can’t bring myself to care enough about anyone or anything else.” His eyes were full of desperation, begging Jimin for something--absolution, understanding, maybe? “If you’re happy, if we’re happy , fuck them all. Fuck Yoongi and Jungkook. Fuck ARMY. Fuck Bangtan.” Hoseok dropped his hands from Jimin’s face and laughed once, but there was no humor in it. “I’m not perfect, Minnie. I’m a terrible person. You should know that. You deserve to know that. I’m the worst.”

Tears were streaming silently down Jimin’s face but Hoseok was too far gone to notice. Jimin knew Hoseok didn’t really mean any of that. He understood how he was feeling because he had wrestled with that too at times. If he truly cared about the well-being of Bangtan, of Tae and Kookie and Jin and Namjoonie...how could he be doing what he was doing? Knowing that, if Dispatch found out, if a rogue staff saw them and snapped a picture, everything could be over for all of them? How could he justify loving them all so desperately and still putting them at such risk? Jimin had compartmentalized it. He’d told himself a lot of different things to make it all easier. That his love for Bangtan wasn’t diminished by his relationship with Hoseok. That putting his happiness first was self-care not selfish. That he was in love and that somehow gave him a free pass to make irrational decisions because that was the beautiful nature of the beast. Some days all of that was harder to buy than others. But, for Jimin, it helped that he truly believed they could pull this off without getting caught, and even if they did get caught, they were big enough that they could survive a scandal like this. 

But Hoseok just couldn’t seem to get there. It ate at him in a way it didn’t Jimin. The guilt had settled in his bones and he could only hide it so deep for so long. If Jimin felt guilty for anything, it was for not being a good enough person to let Hoseok out of this. As much as Hobi tried to take the blame for their relationship, Jimin knew that he was the one at fault. He had dragged Hobi into this kicking and screaming and he’d refused to let him go.  

Hoseok was talking again, his slur more pronounced with fatigue or emotion. “How do we justify this, Minnie? Tell me, please. I need help.” 

Jimin swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to reassure his hyung. Comfort him. And maybe appease his own guilt too. “Hobi,” he said, taking his hands, “we’re not going to get caught. I promise. We’re so careful. We’ll be more careful. And we’re really good for each other, aren’t we? We deserve good things sometimes too, hyung. You deserve good things .” 

Hoseok seemed to consider that. “You know how you told me the other day that Tae said you seem more confident?” 

Jimin nodded and smiled gently.

“I think so, too. I can see it. You once told me that...that I helped you with that. That being with me made you feel more confident. That brings me a lot of pride, Jiminie. I can see how that might help make this better. Easier to justify.”

“That’s right!” Jimin squeezed his hands. “I’m better with you. Do I make you feel more confident, too, hyung? Jimin asked, prompting him.

But Hoseok stared at him for a moment, his eyes growing sad again. “No.” He shook his head. “No, Jimin. You make me feel...unsure. Unsteady. Like the earth is shaking beneath my feet. When I’m with you and when I’m not sometimes too, I feel confused and anxious and sweaty and sick to my stomach.” 

Jimin wasn’t breathing and he felt his body start to seize in shock as he watched Hoseok’s face contort with the confusion and anxiety he described. 

“You scare me, Jimin.” Hoseok continued. “You’ve always scared me. You’ve always made me feel so safe and comfortable and...at home. But it’s a precarious safety because I’ve always felt just an inch away from ruin. Like I’m teetering on the edge of a blade with you. I feel that now more than ever. I’m...afraid...of what happens if I lose my balance. If we lose our balance.” He looked at Jimin, his eyes pleading. “I don’t want to lose you.” Hoseok whispered, his voice cracking. “I can’t lose you, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin’s mouth opened and closed as he swallowed back the sobs that were rising in his chest. “Hyung--I…” Jimin didn’t know what to say. What was he supposed to make of that? It felt so full of unsaid things. Of feelings that were profound and deep and life-changing but painful in their current form. Empty of action and potential. Impotent in the face of Jimin’s inability to interpret them and Hoseok’s inability to understand and accept them. And that’s if Jimin wasn’t just reading in an inappropriately non-platonic meaning. Jimin wanted him to mean what he said romantically but there were a lot of ways they could lose each other--including through the dissolution of Bangtan or the fallout if they got caught. The most important thing that Jimin took from Hoseok’s confession was that if he cared about Jimin at all in that way, it was clear he didn’t want to

Jimin took a couple of breaths to steady himself. He loved Hoseok so much. What he was doing to him--the pain this relationship was causing him--how was Jimin supposed to live with that? Justifying their relationship in the face of the risk to Bangtan...he could do that, he’d been doing that. But justifying it in the face of the pain it caused the man he loved? There was no way. It was selfish, plain and simple. “Hoseok?” Jimin said, his voice low but surprisingly steady. “Do you...do you want to stop...since it makes you feel unsteady and scared?” He swallowed another sob. “Do you want to end this?”

Hoseok’s head shot up and his brows furrowed. His body visibly recoiled and he clutched his arms against his chest protectively. “No? I don’t want that at all, Jimin.” Tears welled in his eyes and Jimin suddenly couldn’t keep his own from falling either. “I feel unsteady and scared...but good. So good.” He closed his eyes. “Please don’t leave me,” he whispered.

And that’s how Jimin would justify it from this moment forward. He was hurting him. In too many ways they were hurting each other. But it was good . And Jimin loved him. And maybe, Jimin allowed himself to consider...just maybe, Hoseok loved him too. 

Jimin stayed with Hoseok, holding him in his arms until he drifted off, alcohol making his sleep unnaturally heavy. Then Jimin headed back to his room wondering where Jungkook was, why he hadn’t returned, what Hoseok would remember in the morning, and what gaps Jimin would be willing to fill in. For now, if Hoseok didn’t remember, he wasn’t going to tell him what either of them had shared. For one, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was they’d shared. What it all meant anyway. And Hoseok wasn’t ready to have that conversation sober. Jimin wasn’t sure he was either. But the day was coming where they wouldn’t have a choice but to talk about everything they were ignoring, he was sure of it now more than ever.

Chapter Text

Unsteady. Scared. So good. Please don’t leave me.

That’s what Hoseok said. That was a confession right? 

Jimin rested his face against his hands and stared at a spot on the table, his eyes unfocused and far away. Calculating. His chopsticks clicked between his fingers but they were dry, his breakfast of fresh fruit still untouched. 

Hoseok was so upset last night. Jimin could almost see the physical presence of pain in him and it was a whole new kind of agony to witness. What they were doing was chipping away at him little by little—making him more tired and more nervous and less hopeful every day. But, despite that, he’d begged Jimin not to leave him. Jimin had offered. He’d given him an out and he’d tried to offer it as genuinely as he could muster--because he did want the best for him. But even the mention of that scenario had taken Hobi from bad to worse. As terrible as everything was for him...as much as it obviously hurt him, he still refused to let Jimin go. He still preferred all that fear and confusion and guilt to losing Jimin. That had to mean something. It had to mean love .

Maybe that’s just wishful thinking . Hoseok had mentioned more than once over the last few months that he was afraid what they were doing would ruin their friendship . He could have meant it like that. This could have just been more of the same. All of that talk about Jimin making him feel “scared and unsteady” was ambiguous. He could be scared and unsteady because his relationship with Jimin was burdening him with constant fear and guilt. That was probably more likely than him meaning Jimin made him “scared and unsteady” because he was forcing him to confront romantic feelings. And if they “lost their balance” and he and Jimin couldn’t be around each other anymore because of awkwardness or because Bangtan didn’t exist--that could be what he was afraid of when he asked Jimin not to leave him. Nothing he said was unquestionably a confession. Every single word of his drunken catharsis could be interpreted as referring to their profound but platonic friendship.

But it wasn’t just his words , was it? That was just the culmination of a long series of increasingly entangled moments. There was more than just drunken talk to consider. 

He passed up his shot with Blue-Hair. Threw out her phone number.

He kissed him after their shower. Affectionately. Not sexually. Romantically .

He got jealous when Jungkook got touchy with him. 

He spent thousands at least on the chain. And that’s just the money. He probably had quite the logistic battle even trying to procure it. He’d engraved it with both of their names--together. Setting the two of them side-by-side in silver permanently. 

He constantly picked him over Yoongi. His person. Yoongi was his best friend and his confidant and Hoseok chose Jimin. Again and again he chose him. 

He’d broken so many of his rules. Crossed so many of his lines. Hoseok was a goody-two shoes at his core and breaking the rules with Jimin wasn’t just rebellious--it was completely counter to who he was as a person. 

He stayed in this despite the guilt and anxiety he so deeply felt about betraying the team.

And Jimin could swear he felt it sometimes, in the way he held him. In the way he kissed him. In the way he said “Minnie,” his mouth curving affectionately around the name.

Jimin recognized this behavior because it mirrored a lot of his own. Jimin had passed up a shot with the gorgeous guy at the club. He got jealous when Blue-Hair was all over Hoseok at the award show. He hadn’t spent as much money but he put a lot of care into picking out the underwear. He’d chosen Hoseok over Tae, his person, a dozen times...more perhaps. And Jimin held him and kissed him like he was the only person in the world who mattered. Jimin knew that each of these actions on his part had been expressions of romantic love. So maybe it was when Hoseok did them, too.

So in a vacuum, the drunken conversation could have been nothing...but in the context of what they’d already been through, it was hard to believe this hadn’t become something more than sex to Hoseok. Jimin was good in bed but there was no way that was enough to explain Hoseok’s actions. Hoseok loved sex but he wasn’t a fiend. His sense of right and wrong, his sense of duty was so strong, he wouldn’t betray that for anything short of love, surely. 

Jimin refusing to add it up and accept the sum total at face value was just as silly as Hoseok refusing to do it. 

Hobi’s in love with me . There was no other explanation. 

Jimin smiled to himself at the table. As soon as he had the thought, he felt it. It fit. It was entirely true and everything made so much sense to him all of a sudden. His heart felt giddy and lighter than it had maybe ever, and laughter bubbled up in his chest. He and Hobi were in love . He laughed again. 

“What’s so funny?” 

Jimin started and looked up to find Jin and Jungkook smiling down at him. 

Jimin flushed and shook his head, “Ah, nothing, hyung. Just daydreaming...”

Jin sat down next to him and Jungkook took the seat across from the eldest. “Oh? Anything interesting?”

Jimin couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. He was practically bouncing in his seat he was so happy. There was no passing it off as nothing. “Maybe?”

The pair picked up on his energy--it would have been hard not to--and were immediately invested in Jimin’s near tangible excitement. “Are you going to fill us in, Jimin-ssi?” Jungkook teased, a mystified smile on his face now. “Or do we have to guess?”

Jimin laughed, “I’ve...I’ve just had an idea to do something...but it’s a little risky, maybe?” He said it only a little hesitantly, almost bursting to share some of this feeling.

“Like risky to your health?” Jin asked, his brows furrowing slightly.

Jimin shook his head quickly. “Only emotionally...like I’d be pretty disappointed if it didn’t work out.”

“Ah, well that’s the nature of a risk, isn’t it?” Jin shrugged.

“Yeah…” Jimin agreed.

“What’s the chance you’re thinking about taking?” Jin shoved a generous pile of food in his mouth.

“I...I’d rather not say just yet…”

But Jin was already excited, “Ohhhh, are we getting another song, Jimin? Or a special dance?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see...” Jimin evaded answering but he winked as if Jin had gotten close. 

“Well I say do it.” Jin said, with all the confidence in the world.

Jimin laughed. “Hyung, you don’t even know what it is I’m doing…” 

“Look, Jimin-ah, life is about taking risks.” Jin brandished his chopsticks like an instructor with a baton. “Think of all the risks we’ve taken separately and as a team. They’ve all been scary right? But look where we are now?” He gestured widely, “The best cafeteria in all of Seoul!”

Jimin couldn’t help but laugh, delighted at Jin’s stupid joke and Jin joined right in shamelessly, his laugh drawing the attention of the nearby patrons.

Jin continued, his voice a little more serious but still full of optimism and humor. “All the bad, scary things, the setbacks are tiny blips compared to what we’ve done and who we’ve become, Jimin-ah. You’ll never catch me shying away from a risk when the potential for something wonderful is on the line. I’ve learned my lesson. Some things are always worth the risk.”

Jimin smiled at him, fondly. “That’s great advice, hyung.”

“I wouldn’t take it too seriously.” Jungkook snorted. “He gave me the same speech last week when I advised him not to eat that 6th slice of pizza…”

Jin’s eyes got big in that endearing way they always did when the maknae teased him as Jimin and Jungkook met eyes and laughed. 

“Yah, no respect,” he half-laughed, half-yelled. “If you think you can do better, you try! My advice is gold. It’s universal. It’s sage.”

Jimin nodded in agreement. They were teasing him, but Jimin had learned a lot from Jin. If you wanted to learn to live life happily, there was no better example to follow than Jin’s. 

“What do you think, Kookie?” Jimin asked.

 Jungkook hesitated, his smile becoming a little smaller and his eyes dropping almost self-consciously. He took a bite of his food and chewed it slowly and Jimin watched him curiously. It occurred to him that he could probably count on one hand the amount of times any of them had gone to Jungkook for advice that wasn’t related to weight training or singing or their entertainment system. It’s not that they didn’t think Jungkook could give good, pertinent advice--though he certainly didn’t have a reputation otherwise--it was more just the natural order of things. He was the maknae...he sought advice, he didn’t bestow it. Jimin had mostly asked to be polite but the longer Jungkook considered it, the more curious he became to hear what he had to say.

Jungkook’s eyes were still down when he started to speak, “I don’t think you should underestimate the...pain or difficulties...certain risks could cause. You have to be careful to consider...everyone. And...you...you have to be prepared to accept the consequences...or even the benefits if the risk is rewarded. Will it be a reward you’re prepared for?” He looked up at Jimin finally but only for a moment before his eyes darted away again. “I mean, if it’s a dance or something like that, that’s more practice and time away from other work, and there’s the potential for injury…” he continued, quickly.

“But…” Jungkook took a little breath in and sighed, “happiness is the most important. If taking the risk can make you happy…or...if you’ll be unhappy if you don’t...then maybe it’s best to take it. I don’t know, Jimin-ssi, you should trust yourself...just be careful.”

Consider everyone . Be careful.

Jimin smiled genuinely at his dongsaeng, “Thank you, Kookie. That’s good advice, too.”

Jungkook turned a little pink and went back to eating. 

“That was good advice, JK!” Jin said, almost unfairly incredulously. “You’ve learned so much from hyung.” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes. But then he sat up as his eyes moved to the person who had just walked up behind Jin, “Oh, Hobi-hyung, good morning.” 

Jimin looked over his shoulder to see Hoseok standing tall behind him, breakfast plate in hand, and a sheepish grin on his face. 

“Hi guys,” he moved around the table and sat his tray next to Jungkook’s across from Jimin. 

Jin smirked at him, knowingly. “Hi Hobi…How’re you feeling this fine morning?”

Hoseok chuckled, “Ah, yeah. I’m sorry, guys. About last night. I drank way too much.”

Jin and Jungkook nodded aggressively, matching grins on their faces.

“I hope I didn’t do anything too embarrassing,” he glanced at Jimin. “I don’t remember much after the restaurant.”

“I think Kookie and Jimin helped get you tucked in,” Jin offered. 

Hoseok shook his head, “Hmm, I vaguely remember Jimin...I don’t think I saw Kook though.” He saw Jimin shake his head. “Yeah, you didn’t come back to the room. Where’d you go?”

Jungkook cleared his throat a little, “Oh, I stayed in my studio.”

Jimin immediately looked concerned. He and Hoseok were both quite drunk and they had just sort of taken Jungkook’s absence as fortunate. Jimin remembered assuming he was with Tae or Jin whom he’d ridden home with from the restaurant. He suddenly felt bad now that he hadn’t thought to check on him. “Why your studio?”

Jungkook shrugged and turned a little pink again. “Wanted to work on a video. I guess I fell asleep in there.” 

Jimin narrowed his eyes at him, sensing some evasiveness in Jungkook’s story. Their maknae was hiding something. He thought about calling him out on it but that would be a little hypocritical of him. He would leave him his secrets. Whatever he was hiding, there was no way it was as bad as what Jimin was.

“Ah, JK, you shouldn’t be doing that...your studio doesn’t even have a proper place to sleep!” Jin chided him, concern barely concealed behind the tease in his voice as well.

Jimin looked at Hoseok now. He was watching Jin chastise Jungkook, a hint of a fond smile on his lips and Jimin felt his headspace slip a little into a tunnel he’d spent a lot of time in these days. His eyes became dreamy and his heart fluttered as he admired the boy across from him, his concern for Jungkook so prevalent a second ago already fading into the background. In profile, Hoseok’s jaw was so sharp, so well defined and it clenched powerfully but still delicately as he chewed. Jimin smiled when his dimple popped out, disappearing and reappearing with each bite. His dark hair was fluffy this morning--he’d probably allowed it to dry naturally after his shower. It looked so soft and Jimin wanted to run his fingers through it. He had on a soft green sweater too, almost a seafoam and it paired so well with the tan of his skin and the deep, dark brown of his eyes. He saw Hoseok start to turn toward him and he knew he was about to get caught staring but still he couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away. So Hoseok met his gaze and they both smiled wider. 

And there they were. The hearts . Jimin saw them, right there, so clear in Hoseok’s eyes as he looked into them, and his heart exploded. 

“What?” Hoseok said, chuckling. “Do I have something on my face?”

Jimin nodded and smiled wider.

Hoseok brushed his forearm across his mouth and chin, “Did I get it?”

Jimin bit his lip, his cheeks hurting from the strength of his grin. 

Hoseok laughed, and ran his hand over his whole face, searching for whatever made Jimin stare, and still found nothing. “Agh, you drive me crazy, Jimin-ah...” he said.

Jimin’s heart squeezed warmly at the breathiness in Hoseok’s voice. He heard the meaning behind the words--meaning that Hoseok probably didn’t hear himself--and laughed too. “You love me,” he said.

And Hoseok’s face scrunched, amused, then shook his head and chuckled again, returning to his food.

He loves me .

Jin was right. He should tell him. 

Jimin could picture it so clearly. He would casually suggest to Tae that he take Jungkook out to do something...ensure that they’d be out for the night. Then he’d order some dinner or go pick some up himself. Cooking wasn’t really an option because Jimin wasn’t any good at it and it would take valuable time that he’d rather they use for something else. They’d have a movie night in, because they couldn’t go out, but that wouldn’t make it any less special. Jimin would keep the lights dim but up enough that he could see Hobi’s face. Maybe he could get little fairy lights or flower petals to decorate! No, that would probably raise too many eyebrows. But maybe he could find one flower to bring for Hobi. They’d put on a cute movie and flirt and cuddle and at some point, when they were laughing and looking into each other’s eyes, Jimin would tell him. He’d say “Hoseokie, I’m in love with you. And I think you might be in love with me too.” 

And Hoseok would maybe look a little surprised but he’d think about it for a second and say, “I think you’re right, Minnie,” and then he’d kiss him and the heavens would open and the angels would sing and Hoseok would pick him up and spin him around like they do in the movies--

Except no he wouldn’t . Not after last night with the paparazzi scare and the tension with Yoongi. He was too skittish. Hoseok didn’t want to be in love with Jimin. He wouldn’t see this as the wonderful thing it is. Not right now.

So he would pull his hands away and stand up and say “Jimin-ah, don’t talk like that. We can’t be in love. I’m not in love with you.” And he might even say it enough times, and so loudly that he convinces himself it’s true. 

And then he’d say “We should end this, Jimin, you’re getting too attached. It was never supposed to be like this.” And then he’d apologize for 20 minutes for everything under the sun and tell Jimin to please not cry. And then he’d leave. And he might never come back. 

He remembered Jungkook’s advice. Consider everyone . Be careful. 

So he would wait. Not forever. Not even for long. But long enough for Hoseok to get back on his feet. To ease off his guard again. For things to become more good than “unsteady and scary.” For Hoseok to be ready to be in love with him.

 

***

Jimin barreled into the studio, smiling mischievously and casting his eyes around the dark room catching his disheveled reflection in the mirror of the sound booth. He heard footsteps approaching close behind him and made to move across the room. But just as he launched off his right foot, he felt a strong pull on his jacket. His body was yanked backward and he grunted as he hit the wall. A pair of strong arms pinned him in place and he pouted as he looked into Hoseok’s smiling face. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Hoseok taunted him. 

Jimin put his hand on his forehead dramatically, “Oh no! You caught me...what are you going to do to me?” he whispered flirtatiously. 

Hoseok answered by putting his free hand--the one that wasn’t holding Jimin’s arm above his head--on Jimin’s stomach and crashing his mouth against his. 

Jimin fidgeted under him, already so needy. They’d been working up to this all morning. Flirting at breakfast, letting their glances linger during dance practice...It had been a couple of days since they’d last gotten to be together. They were able to meet up yesterday for some clandestine kisses in the closet near the dance studio but four minutes went way too quickly to accomplish anything lasting. They might have had other opportunities but Hoseok was being extra careful these days so some of their less secure hideouts weren’t an option anymore and Hoseok wasn’t as willing to take chances. 

This wasn’t exactly a particularly opportune time, either. They had a rehearsal this morning before everyone split up to work on their own things. Hoseok and Jimin wanted to sneak away to Hope World then but Tae and Jin asked to go over a couple of the choreos a few more times so they were stuck. They didn’t know how long they had now--it could be five minutes or two hours until they were called away to the next thing so every second counted. 

Jimin smiled a little as he felt Hoseok’s fingers slide under his waistband. He was impatient too and Jimin loved it when he could tell his Oppa was just as eager as he was. Of course he also loved it when his Oppa pretended like he couldn’t care less if Jimin was begging for it or not, but right now, he relished feeling so wanted. It gave him a little leeway to do a bit of teasing himself.

Hoseok’s kiss was making Jimin a little lightheaded already. Not just because he kept forgetting to breathe during it, but also because the little pattern Hoseok was making with his tongue on the roof of Jimin’s mouth was dizzying. Jimin liked his kisses even more now, knowing that it was love fueling them in tandem with the obvious physical desire. Jimin pulled himself together enough to catch his quick tongue in his teeth and he felt Hoseok smile as he bit him. Jimin didn’t ease his grip as Hoseok retracted his kiss through Jimin’s teeth and when Hoseok finally pulled away, Jimin was grinning smugly below him. 

“Someone’s feeling playful,” Hoseok smirked.

“Mmhmm,” Jimin said, his eyes twinkling and his voice breathy, “play with me.” 

Hoseok growled and pulled off his jacket, tossing it onto the couch and then tugged Jimin against him into a rough kiss. Hoseok liked being in control. He liked when Jimin submitted to him completely. But god did like it when he was feisty, too. It meant Hoseok got to be a little meaner. Jimin was naturally such an impish creature, cheeky, mischievous, flirtatious. And when he got like that in bed...Hoseok thought he was damn near edible. Feisty Jimin earned a lot of punishments. And Hoseok loved doling out punishments.

“Get the door,” Hoseok said against his lips. 

“Mmm, yes, mmm, Oppa.” Jimin said between pecks. He reluctantly broke away and ran to the door, pushing it shut and flipping half the lights on. He peeled his shirt off and tossed it to the floor, kicking his shoes off as he went. 

Jimin returned to Hoseok’s lips as quickly as he could and the two continued undressing as they moved together toward the desk in the middle of the room. “Did you lock it?” Hoseok asked, as he backed Jimin against the table. 

“Yes, Oppa,” Jimin answered, pulling Hoseok’s t-shirt over his head and off. The sight of his bare skin, tan and smooth, stole his focus and he placed his lips hungrily on Hoseok’s chest, nibbling at the skin on his clavicle. 

“Are you sure?” Hoseok asked but he was already undoing the button on Jimin’s jeans. He grabbed the waistband and yanked them down, taking Jimin’s sweetly colored but naughtily cut lavender briefs with them. Once Jimin’s ankles were free, Hoseok easily lifted Jimin onto the table and notched himself in between his thighs. 

“Mmhmm, I’m sure,” Jimin affirmed, his voice dreamy and faraway as Hoseok’s hands moved their way up his thighs. 

“Because everyone’s just wandering around right now and anyone cou--”

“Hyung,” Jimin interrupted him, sounding a little annoyed, “It’s fine.” He softened a little as he wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck. He pulled him close and pressed hot little kisses into his neck, “It’s fine. You’re too paranoid.” Jimin said, almost offhandedly. 

Hoseok sighed softly, feeling tension escape him as he felt Jimin’s mouth close around his earlobe and he indulged in the hot, wet sensation, “Being paranoid is good, Jimin,” Hoseok murmured. “It keeps us careful. We need to be careful. We shouldn’t be doing this...if we got caught…”

Jimin pulled away from Hoseok suddenly, huffing, his expression suddenly tense with irritation. 

“What, what is it?” Hoseok said, concerned, sweeping the hair from Jimin’s face.

It had been a week or so since the incident with the paparazzi at the restaurant. A week from Hoseok’s drunken break down. A week of him triple checking locks and jumping away from Jimin even if they weren’t doing anything whenever he heard a noise. Jimin told himself that it could be worse. Hoseok wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d been before, but he had definitely regressed a little. Jimin knew to give him time. He’d be okay again. Jimin just had to be patient. He’d been focusing on reminding Hoseok why they were doing this--that they were good together and that they were in love. Even if he couldn’t say it in so many words. So Jimin sighed and folded his arms in front of him. “I wish you would stop saying that…‘we shouldn’t be doing this.’ You keep saying that.” He shook his head. “What we’re doing is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me…”

Hoseok lowered his eyes and clenched his hand into a fist, feeling upset with himself that he’d done it again. He knew he was making things hard on Jimin. He didn’t mean to...he just had this sinking feeling all the time that they were going to lose everything. It was hard to keep that to himself. He was so scared all the time. For himself but also for Jimin. All he wanted to do was protect him. To protect them . He looked back up at Jimin and smiled apologetically. “For me too, Minnie. I’m sorry.” He grabbed Jimin’s hands and brought them to his lips, kissing them softly one by one. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Jimin didn’t say anything. He knew he didn’t mean it like that. He was glad Hoseok knew he didn’t too.

“I just mean we can’t start getting sloppy now. We have to be careful. So no one gets hurt.” Hoseok smiled at Jimin apologetically. “Forgive me?”

Jimin couldn’t help but begrudgingly smile back. How could he be mad at Hobi? He was so scared and he was trying so hard. And his smile was so charming. So...sexy. And he loved how it brightened even more in response to his own. Jimin was helpless to resist. 

Hoseok leaned in and kissed his lips, coaxing out an even bigger grin. “I’m going to keep kissing you until I see teeth,” he whispered, pecking his lips again.

You want teeth? Jimin smirked and snapped his teeth hard, just barely missing the elder’s lip. 

Hoseok pulled back in surprise and laughed. “Naughty boy,” he wagged his finger at Jimin and then brought his lips back to his more intensely, recapturing the mood.

“I guess we should hurry, though,” Jimin said as he began to undo Hoseok’s belt buckle. As much as Hoseok was being paranoid, he wasn’t wrong. Everyone was kind of on their own agenda today so one of them could be called away at any point by another member asking to work on this thing or that or staff looking to get them into a fitting or prep them for an interview. “Someone’s bound to miss us before long.” He pulled the belt from Hoseok’s jeans, shivering at the snap it made, and set it on the desk next to him. 

“That won’t be a problem,” Hoseok said. He finished removing his jeans and briefs to reveal his cock, stiff and already dripping with precum. “I’m ready to go. Are you?”

“Yes, Oppa.” Jimin moaned, stroking himself at the sight of Hoseok’s erection. He knew what he was asking. He’d put in his plug this morning and included a generous amount of lube. He was prepared. “I’ve been ready. Let’s go.” 

Hoseok pulled Jimin down from the desk and ground his hips against him causing the younger to hiss. “Mmm, Minnie?” He smirked and then suddenly gripped Jimin’s chin harshly. “Ask nicely.” 

Jimin’s breath grew heavier and put on his best bedroom eyes--which Hoseok had to admit were pretty great--and bat his thick eyelashes sweetly. “Please fuck me, Oppa,” Jimin said obediently. “Please fuck me hard.” 

Hoseok put his hands on Jimin’s arms, his grip a vice, and spun him around quickly. He pushed Jimin down until his face was pressed against the desk and his hand moved to Jimin’s hip as he kicked his legs further apart. “Like this, pet?” Hoseok asked, “Is this how you want Oppa to fuck you?” 

“Yes, Oppa! Please!” Jimin gasped, leaving his breath hanging on the desk beneath him. 

The surface of the desk looked like black glass and it had a lot of complicated looking buttons and switches. There were two giant monitors and a couple of microphones set up on top of it as well. Jimin had sat at this table a couple of times, watching Hoseok record. He never got tired of it. His voice was gravely and sexy and when he sang, he got this passionate and joyful light in his eyes. Jimin hoped to give him one more thing to smile about next time he sat down here--the memory about what they were about to do.

Jimin heard a machine start to whir as Hoseok reached over him and flipped a few switches. He saw the screens come to life and he craned his neck to look over his shoulder at Hoseok who still had most of him pinned down. “Are you recording this?” he asked incredulously. That didn’t make any sense--Hoseok had refused to even take a picture of him last week.

“Just the audio,” Hoseok said, moving a mic closer to Jimin’s head. His eyes lit up as he heard Jimin’s breath against the mic. This was probably stupid, he knew. It was definitely impulsive. But the mics were right there and Jimin always made the most beautiful sounds. Hoseok couldn’t count the amount of times he was taking care of himself and wished he had Jimin in his ear to help him finish. Plus...he wanted to do something for Jimin and he would certainly enjoy this. It was daring and catered to his voyeuristic interests--which honestly Hoseok hadn’t gotten to explore as much as he’d have liked. 

Jimin had been a little cagey all week. Not distant...but careful--like he was handling Hoseok with kid gloves. He couldn’t know for sure because the alcohol had stripped him of his memory, but he guessed Jimin’s tentativeness probably had to do with something insensitive Hoseok had said or done the night the paparazzi almost caught them. Something exciting like this might help ease the tension. And as far as exciting things they could do, this was relatively safe. It would record onto his secure drive and Hoseok would move it to a usb and he’d keep it in his locked box along with all of his other toys. And he’d try to avoid saying Jimin’s name so there was still some anonymity. It should be okay. “I’m only recording the audio.” 

Jimin was still trying to process this surprising development, “Why?”

Hoseok’s practiced hand quickly found the plug Jimin had placed and he positioned himself behind the younger, lining his head up with his entrance. He leaned over, his voice coming closer to Jimin’s ears now. “So that I can get off again later to the sound of me making you cum.” 

Jimin braced himself just as Hoseok thrust roughly into him, causing him to yelp. He saw the audio spike on the computer screen and he smiled, exhilarated. 

Hoseok watched as Jimin made another tentative little sound and lit up as the mic picked it up again. Jimin was very into this and, though Hoseok knew he would be, he still exhaled in relief. “Oppa,” Jimin asked, “may I please have a copy of that too?” 

Hoseok chuckled, darkly. “Well we’ll just have to see how good a boy you are today.”

Jimin pressed himself flatter against the table and arched his back, moving his hands to his ass to open himself up more for Hoseok. “I’ll be really good, Oppa!” Jimin promised, wiggling cheekily.

Hoseok smirked, “And yet, Oppa’s been fucking you for a whole minute and you haven’t even said thank you…” he growled, his voice suddenly harsh, and he pulled his hand back to land a sharp slap to Jimin’s ass. 

Jimin cried out at the contact, “Ah! Thank you, Oppa! Thank you for fucking me!” 

“There, that’s better,” Hoseok cooed. “That’s a good pet.” He braced his hands on the table on either side of Jimin’s hips. Despite the hurry they were in, Hoseok knew they couldn’t guarantee any time in the next couple of days either, so he was determined to draw it out at least a little. He moved at a more relaxed pace, pulling all the way out of Jimin each pump just to push back in again slowly. 

Jimin moaned and Hoseok repeated the motion. He watched Jimin tense and un-tense below him each time he pushed his tip into him. He gaped when he pulled out and Hoseok filled the opening with his spit before stretching him again. 

Jimin was starting to get restless. He was trying to be good but Hoseok’s slow tease was becoming unbearable. He had a way of making Jimin so hungry, so desperate until he felt like he might burst. And he did it for so long. It made Jimin feel impatient and he couldn’t help but whine like a child who was told they couldn’t have a popsicle before dinner.

Thankfully, Hoseok picked up his pace a little, no longer pulling out all the way, instead aiming for Jimin’s sweet spot which he knew well by now. He found it quickly causing the younger to jerk and squeal. But he still was going too slow for Jimin to get the release he was burning for now. 

Hoseok pushed his hands into Jimin’s back, stroking and scratching the length of it while he fucked him, smirking over harshly gritted teeth as Jimin whimpered louder below him. 

“Shhhh,” Hoseok chided, “Stop being a brat and be a little patient.” 

“Ahhhh” Jimin grunted again as Hoseok pumped into him again. “But it’s so...mmmm...good, Oppa!” he cried, growing louder with each of Hoseok’s thrusts. “More...please more. Faster!”

“Since when do you think you get to make demands, huh?” Hoseok sneered. “You should just shut up and be grateful.”

“‘M grateful, Oppa!” Jimin just managed to get out alongside another series of loud, high-pitched moans. “But I need…”

“You need to stop being such a fucking little brat and shut your stupid mouth.” 

Jimin let out another shuddering gasp, the delicious cruelty of Hoseok’s words, spurring him further into menace. He moaned loudly again, long and high this time. 

“Fine...we’ll do it my way.” Hoseok reached his hand over and closed it around the belt that Jimin had removed from him earlier. 

Jimin’s eyes went wide from where his face was pressed against the table and Hoseok heard him huff, “Oh, fuck yes.” The mic probably picked that up perfectly.

Hoseok had spent several hours of his down time lately with his laptop safely on his lap and his headphones in reading all about safe breathplay. And he’d watched a fair amount of porn featuring that particular kink, too. It hadn’t been his thing going in but the more he watched it, the more excited he got about it. It could very much be done in a way that suited his desire to humiliate and degrade and still fulfill the physical sensation Jimin was after. He still wasn’t ready to push it too far but he was comfortable enough to try again. 

Hoseok leaned forward, his cock pressing deep into Jimin, and wrapped the belt around the younger’s neck. He looped it and buckled it on the tightest setting which still left a lot of extra room around his slender neck. Hoseok held the free end of the belt taut and let the weight of Jimin’s head do the work. He could release it to lessen the pressure and pull it back to increase it. 

For now, Hoseok pulled the belt back toward him and Jimin arched to fight the pressure against his neck. He took a rattling breath in and exhaled, “Thank you, Oppa!”

Hoseok continued to thrust into Jimin, picking up his pace and watching Jimin carefully to make sure his breathing was still okay. It was strained and Hoseok adjusted a few times either easing off or tightening depending on the subtle cues he picked up from Jimin and soon enough, Jimin was back to making desperate little noises. Despite his air flow being marginally restricted by the belt, Jimin was still yelping and squealing at a dangerous volume.

“Holy fuck, you noisy slut, you just can’t control yourself, can you?” Hoseok swore.

Jimin didn’t answer except by continuing his noises.

 “You want everyone to hear you don’t you? You want everyone to know what a whore you are for Oppa…” Hoseok was taunting him to an extent but he really was concerned that Jimin was making too much noise. Hope World was very much in Downtown BigHit. There was a lot of activity that went on in the area--lots of traffic. Jimin was being reckless. 

“I’m only going to tell you one more time, Pet,” Hoseok snarled. “Shut your whore mouth or you don’t get to cum today.” 

Jimin let out a frustrated growl, disjointed because of the belt but still loud and clear. “Fucking make me!” He panted, baiting Hoseok into unleashing on him.

Hoseok’s eyes widened in shock and he couldn’t help the delighted smile that spread across his face. What a little troublemaker . “So much for being good for Oppa…” He murmured. Hoseok cast his eyes around and found what he was looking for by his feet. He stretched to reach the black briefs he’d tossed aside earlier in his hasty strip. They were sweaty from their earlier rehearsal and a little damp with his pre-cum too, but Hoseok had a feeling Jimin wouldn’t mind. He pulled on the belt until Jimin’s breath was completely cut off and his head was almost touching Hoseok’s chest. He stuffed the briefs into Jimin’s open, gasping mouth, immediately muffling Jimin’s moaning and released the belt so he fell forward back onto the table. 

Flat against the table, Jimin writhed and slid his hands across the shiny surface desperately. His muted hums became even more urgent and he began pushing himself back against Hoseok, demanding to be fucked harder and faster. 

Hoseok obliged. He gripped Jimin’s arm with one hand to get better leverage and used his end of the belt around Jimin’s neck as a make-shift whip, bringing it down against Jimin’s ass and lower back as he slammed into him. “See how much better you get fucked when Oppa gets some peace and quiet?” Hoseok grunted as he thrust into him with all the speed and strength he could muster.

Jimin nodded frantically as his muffled cries became shorter and more sporadic. 

Hoseok could tell he was about to cum and as much as he wanted this to go on, they were already pushing their luck. He grabbed the mic from next to Jimin’s head and held it against Jimin’s face so he could catch every haggard breath he made as he finished and then gave his final orders. “Cum for me, Pet.” Hoseok growled, fucking him furiously into the table. “Now or never. Cum! Cu--ahhh ahhh!” Hoseok exploded into Jimin, holding himself in deep and convulsing into his body. He yanked on the belt as he finished, pulling Jimin back into him where the younger tensed up against his chest, shuddering through his own orgasm before collapsing back onto the table. 

Hoseok laid on top of Jimin on the table, cock still buried in him, both of them breathing hard from their effort. Hoseok’s grip on the belt loosened and then released while Jimin pushed the underwear out of his mouth with his tongue. Hoseok gave Jimin a harsh pinch on his side, prompting him to remember his manners. 

“Thank you, Oppa.” Jimin panted, his voice rough. 

Hoseok reached up and flipped off the recording, having captured Jimin’s delayed but still titillating expression of gratitude, and then leaned down to wrap his arms around him. “You’re welcome, Minnie.” He tightened his grip and pulled Jimin up with him, lifting him a little off of his feet and pulling him into his lap on the nearby couch.  

Hoseok pressed affectionate kisses into Jimin’s shoulder, side, back--wherever he could reach--as he tenderly undid the belt around Jimin’s neck.

Jimin’s hand raised to rub where the belt chaffed. “Any marks?” he asked.

Hoseok did a quick inspection. There was some redness but it looked like it would fade and he hadn’t broken the skin at all. “Nope,” he said. “We did good.” He wrapped his arms around Jimin and pulled him into him. “How are you feeling, Minnie?” he asked. Jimin’s decision to be a little disobedient had pushed Hoseok to play a little rougher than they had prepped for and he hadn’t cleared a couple of new things beforehand either. 

“Tired,” Jimin laughed. “That was quite the workout. But it was really hot.” He smiled. 

Hoseok tapped Jimin’s chin affectionately, proud of his pet. “Even the underwear thing?” he said.

Jimin nodded furiously, “Oh yes, especially the underwear thing.” Jimin really liked that. The taste of Hoseok’s sweat and arousal, the smell of it was so hot and dirty and the feeling of being so...filled up was so stimulating. It was exactly the type of degrading treatment he liked in these quick, rough fucks. He liked that a lot. But the whipping, while enjoyable during, was a little much this time. Maybe it was the texture of the belt? Maybe the location of the impact? Maybe Hoseok was just a little harder on him this time. Either way his ass really hurt now. He shifted just slightly and winced. “I think I’m going to be sore for a little, though, from the whipping.”

“Sorry!” Hoseok said, scrunching his face apologetically. “I got a little carried away. This was really so hot, Jimin-- you were so hot...I guess I got over-excited.” 

“No, no!” Jimin said, reassuringly. “I promise I liked it. I’m just going to be sore is all.” He blushed. “It’s kind of inevitable when you play like we do, right?” 

Hoseok nodded in agreement. “But I’m still sorry it hurts.” He reached up and ran the back of one of his long fingers against Jimin’s face, smiling at him with the hearts in his eyes again.

Jimin’s whole body grew warm as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips, a compromise because he couldn’t just say ‘I love you.’ “Thanks, hyung,” he said, instead. He slowly got off of Hoseok’s lap and started putting his briefs and jeans back on. “We should get back before anyone tries to look for us,” he sighed. 

“You go ahead,” Hoseok said as he got dressed again too. “I’m going to put that audio on a private drive and get it off the computer first.” He winked. “I won’t be long.” 

Jimin nodded and walked to the door, his hand closing around the knob and easily pulling it open. “Oh!” he said, his mouth forming a surprised circle and his eyes wide as he turned slowly back to Hoseok.

Hoseok’s stomach lurched as he watched him. “It wasn’t locked, was it?” he said, understanding what Jimin had discovered. He felt his adrenaline spike as his heart thudded in that terrible way it does when you experience a near miss in an intersection. “Jimin, I asked if you were sure!”

“I’m sorry, hyung! I’m so sorry!” Jimin apologized, frantically. 

He did look sorry--at least from what Hoseok could tell of his demeanor before he darted out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Hoseok sighed. “So reckless…” he shook his head incredulously as his stomach twisted inside him. What if someone had come looking for them and barged in? It didn’t happen so maybe it didn’t do any good to dwell on the what ifs but he needed Jimin to be more careful. They couldn’t keep getting this lucky forever. One day it was going to catch up with them.

He finished buckling his pants and walked across the room to the sound booth. Hoseok was going to go in and pull the audio recording he and Jimin had just made. No one generally snooped around in his stuff but better safe than sorry. Especially after the scare he’d had just had with the unlocked door. He almost regretted making it now. They purposefully created hard evidence of their indiscretion...maybe he should just delete it...

Hoseok pushed open the sound booth door and froze in his tracks. Sitting on the floor, with his knees pulled into his chest was Yoongi looking angry and horrified and physically ill.

Chapter Text

This can’t be happening. This can’t be real. A lifetime passed in an instant and Hoseok arrived at the other end feeling aged and decrepit, drained of all strength and sanity. He thought his heart had fallen out of his body because he couldn’t feel it anymore. He couldn’t even find it in his chest. He felt bile rise in his throat and his knees wobbled precariously underneath him. He and Yoongi stared at each other in mutually terrified silence--Yoongi probably experiencing a similar lifelong moment--before Hoseok managed to form a thought and then a sound and finally words. He fought hard to keep his voice steady and prayed that, somehow, impossibly, his and Jimin’s secret was still safe, “Hyung, what’re you doing here...I was just…”

“I thought you guys were fighting at first,” Yoongi cut him off, his voice dead and his gaze far away. “I thought when you pushed him into the wall…” he swallowed and rubbed his eyes, as if trying to wipe away an image. “I almost pounded on the mirror to get you to stop…but then…” 

Hoseok didn’t want to hear. He couldn’t hear this. Every word Yoongi said carried a mountain of shame that Hoseok could feel himself being buried under already. 

“And I couldn’t come out then because I thought it would be awkward to catch you guys. I thought you’d just...just a little...and then leave.” Yoongi cringed with his whole body as he spoke, “But you didn’t. You...and I had to just sit here under the table and try not to hear.”

Hoseok found his heart again when it plummeted, eyes widening in horror as he realized what was coming next.

“But then you started recording…” Hoseok could hear the trauma behind his shaky voice. “And it was so loud. And I heard everything .” 

Hoseok’s knees finally gave and he crumbled to the floor, his hands sliding impotently across the slick hardwood surface as he tried to find something solid to hang onto, “Yoongi,” he choked,  “hyung, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t think. I’m so sorry.”

“No amount of sorry is going to make up for what you two just put me through,” he spat, his shock and confusion finally making room for his anger. “What the fuck, Hope?!” He jumped to his feet so quickly, Hoseok got dizzy when his head snapped up to follow him.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” It was all Hoseok could get out. 

Yoongi’s face was scrunched, like everything he was feeling, the mixture of anger, shock, disgust, embarrassment was too much to wear clearly. He was pacing back and forth in a small line, turning quickly so it looked more like he was just flailing hysterically. Moving because his body couldn’t still. “Get up!” he roared at Hoseok. 

Hoseok had never heard Yoongi so angry--even when he got really mad, he never raised his voice. He was more of a silent treatment with an occasional passive aggressive comeback kind of guy. Hoseok scrambled to his feet, leaning on the sound board for support, wondering if Yoongi was going to hit him. Wondering what it would be like to get punched by your best friend.

“Jesus christ!” Yoongi’s breaths were coming heavy from the adrenaline coursing through him. He looked up a Hoseok, angry realization on his face. “Is this--is this where you’ve been? What you’ve been doing?” He pointed at the room through the mirror. “Every time you ditch me?”

Hoseok felt another pang of guilt stab at him and he knew Yoongi could read his admission on his face.

And for the first time tonight, Yoongi looked hurt

Yoongi nodded. “Wow.” He pushed his tongue against the inside of his mouth. “Wow.” 

Hoseok started to take a step toward him, his hand extended, out of instinct more than anything. Hoseok wanted to comfort him. It’s what he did. It’s what he’d always done. But if there was any vulnerability in Yoongi, it was gone in a blink and Hoseok stopped in his tracks when the elder shot him a look that made his blood run cold.

He was silent for another minute, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, and Hoseok followed his lead, the only sound in the booth their breathing. Hoseok watched Yoongi’s face which was very expressive for a change. There was so much anger and Hoseok could almost feel it radiating off of him. But then his face twisted again, turning into something closer to disgust, anguish even and Hoseok felt his body compress in on itself.

Jimin ,” he groaned. “Jimin.” He looked accusingly at Hoseok. “How could you...?”

Again, Hoseok had no defense. He just shook his head at Yoongi like he didn’t know what to say. 

“Did you even think about what you’re doing to him? You...you beat him.”

Hoseok felt tears start to well in his eyes as he chewed on his lip and he bounced his knee, unable to keep himself from fidgeting under the weight of Yoongi’s disappointed, angry stare. He pictured all the bruises, all the welts, all the marks he’d left on Jimin’s body over the last few months. He didn’t know how to explain--he didn’t want to explain and he wasn’t sure there was any explanation that would absolve him anyway--in either of their eyes. He’d done it. Beaten Jimin. And he’d gotten off on it.

Yoongi almost sounded like he was fighting tears too. But his were different. Born of anger and confusion and not guilt and shame. “And he’s so impressionable and sensitive. He’s not like us.” 

Hardened all the way through, he meant

“He’s just a stupid kid.” Yoongi shook his head.

“Hyung, please, don’t be mad at Jimin...” Hoseok plead with him. 

“I’m not mad at Jimin.” Yoongi snapped, almost like he was offended, “Jimin is Jimin. He’s acts on his whims and leaps before he looks and can’t be counted on to do otherwise.”

Hoseok recoiled. He thought that was harsh. Jimin was spontaneous and brave and curious and full of wonder and delight and maybe that made him less cautious than he should be sometimes but that was beautiful and attractive and charming. He opened his mouth to defend him again but Yoongi had already moved back to the real target of his ire-- the more deserving target

“But YOU, you should know better.” 

Hoseok hung his head, shame washing over him as he stared at Yoongi’s accusatory finger pointed directly at his chest, stabbing him in the heart. My fault

“We count on you, Hope. We look up to you. You have responsibilities.” Hoseok heard the anger give way again to the far more punishing disappointment and disgust. “You’re supposed to be looking out for him. For all of us.” 

“I know…” Hoseok said, his voice cracking.

“Do you?” Yoongi demanded. “So you know what would happen if staff caught you? If Dispatch caught you? You know it would…” His face scrunched with emotion again. Rage. Fear maybe. “...end us?” He swallowed and shook his head, his voice trembling too. “You put all of us at risk and for what? For something warm to put your dick in for a change?” 

Hoseok’s face flared red, “Ugh, c’mon, it’s not like that, Hyung.” He said defensively. 

Yoongi scoffed. “It’s not like that,” he mocked. “It doesn’t fucking matter.” Yoongi was yelling again. He gestured angrily with his hands and his rage had carried him up onto his tiptoes as Hoseok shrank under his wrath. “Whatever your reasons, they could not possibly be good enough to justify what you’re risking.”

Hoseok lowered his head again, flinching as the guilt cut even deeper. “I know,” Hoseok conceded. “It doesn’t matter. You’re right.”

Yoongi shook his head, running his hands through his hair, “This can’t be happening. I can’t believe this is happening.” His eyes were bloodshot and his face paler than usual, just the tips of his ears and nose red. 

Hoseok remained silent as Yoongi’s breath started to even. He wasn’t calming. The rage was still there, boiling so close to the surface Hoseok was sure he could see his skin rolling. But when he spoke his voice was more focused. “How long has this been going on?” he asked.

Hoseok lowered his eyes to the floor. He didn’t need to count. It had been 14 weeks and 3 days since their first time together. But that level of specificity felt private so he shrugged, “Not long. Maybe--”

“You know what?” Yoongi interrupted him, shoving past him toward the door. “I don’t care,” he said. “It doesn’t matter. It ends now, Hope.”

Hoseok finally met Yoongi’s eyes. There was so much contempt there. He couldn’t remember Yoongi ever looking at him like that. His heart seized, grief joining the poisonous cocktail of emotions he was already sick with. Hoseok dropped his eyes and nodded reluctantly, swallowing hard and scrunching his face in an effort to fend off his tears. 

Yoongi looked back at him and made one last disgusted sound before storming out of the studio, slamming both doors as he left. 

***

Yoongi rushed down the hallway. He didn’t know where he was going but he just had to put some space between himself and that place. That smell. He wanted to go put some headphones over his ears and blast his music until the sounds he’d heard were drowned out entirely. He wanted to get the image of a broken Hobi out of his head, too. Hoseok deserved every bit of what he said. More . If Yoongi had hit him he would have been well within his rights. But it was still hard. It was unnatural to see that kind of look on Hoseok’s face. Yoongi didn’t want to be responsible for putting it there. But any pity he had was stomped out by the rage coming in waves. 

How could he? How could he do that to Bangtan? To me? How many lies had he told? How many times had he chosen this...whatever it was...over the team? Over their friendship? How many people knew? If Yoongi had caught them, who knows who else could have. 

It was no secret that Hoseok was a sexual guy. It was kind of a joke on the team almost--how frequently Hoseok had anonymous company. He wasn’t gross about it and he wasn’t a jerk about it either. But his lifestyle was definitely not romantic and it definitely wasn’t for people who got attached easily-- people like Jimin . What was he thinking pulling Jimin into that world?

And he hadn’t held back anything. Yoongi didn’t want to picture the things he’d heard. It’s not like he didn’t know what Hoseok was into. They didn’t talk about sex and romance a lot. It was awkward for them for a lot of reasons. But he knew enough to know that what he’d heard tonight wasn’t so far out of left field. For Hoseok . But Jimin...that was a surprise. He couldn’t help but wonder how much of that was for Jimin and how much of it was for Hoseok. Jimin was so eager to please. And Hoseok was very intimidating and strong willed--sometimes even unintentionally.  

But the details didn’t matter. Jimin didn’t seem like he was upset or really hurt. Yoongi didn’t need to know--didn’t want to know the finer points of what they’d been up to. He just wanted it to stop.

Hoseok said he’d end it. Whatever it was. There was a part of him that instinctually wanted to trust Hoseok’s promise that it was over. But a more convincing part of him felt like he didn’t even know the man he’d just confronted in Hope’s studio. 

This wasn’t like Hope at all. Hoseok was energetic and all-fun on the camera but he was--and always had been--the responsible member of the team. The one who’s always on time, always has the choreo, and stage blocking, and everyone’s lines down, always remembers their agenda, and still has time to keep the dorm tidy and organized. Hope took his responsibilities seriously. He wasn’t just a rule-follower, he was often a rule-enforcer, and even a rule-setter. His loyalty to the team, to the members was something he held closer to his heart than virtually anything. And yet here he was...spitting in his own face.  

So Yoongi just didn’t know if he could count on Hoseok to follow through. He knew that Hoseok never generally had a problem waving a friendly goodbye to a temporary partner he’d never see again but this was different. The little bits of conversation he’d overheard, before, after, and between the sex were...different. So he couldn’t even guess what Hoseok was going to do. Or how Jimin would react.

He was going to have to keep his eye on them. 

 

***

Fuck, fuck . That was one of the worst experiences of his life. His body was in shock. He was still shaking. His heart was pounding and the corners of his vision kept going dark. He was taking shallow, labored breaths and he stumbled and tripped over his feet every few steps. He wasn’t sure how much of what happened his brain had processed. All he knew was that he needed to get to Jimin.

Jimin. Jiminie. Minnie . How was he going to explain this to him? How was he going to tell him…? It was just starting to hit him what Yoongi had witnessed. And all of a sudden something so beautiful, something he would have cherished and remembered so fondly was bastardized into something gross, foul, depraved. Yoongi had put it into perspective for him. Would Jimin see it differently when he told him? Would he feel the shame that was burning holes in Hoseok’s gut? How could he do that to him? 

Maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe he could just tell him it was over. It’s not like Yoongi would ever confront Jimin personally. Maybe he could spare him the embarrassment and shame he was experiencing right now. He’d never even know that Yoongi knew--that Yoongi heard. 

But, if he couldn’t give Jimin a reason or if he gave him some vague “this just isn’t working out” excuse...Jimin would hate him. Maybe forever.

Which was crueler? Making Jimin live with humiliation or rejection? 

Hoseok arrived at the dance studio where he knew Jimin was. He saw him through the glass pane in the door and stalled. He was laughing, enjoying himself. Having a fun, carefree time with Tae and Jungkook. He had no idea what was coming. Hoseok swallowed hard. This was going to hurt . This was going to hurt so bad. He leaned back against the wall of the hallway and took a couple deep breaths, fighting tears that were so close to becoming sobs. 

He had to get himself under control. This would be much easier if he could pull himself together. If he wanted to save Jimin from feeling the shame and embarrassment he was feeling, he needed to be convincing-- The only reason Hoseok was calling it off was because he didn’t want to do it anymore . But how was he supposed to hide this ? His whole body was wracked with symptoms of the confrontation.  

Yoongi had been so harsh. So cutting. But Hoseok couldn’t even be mad--he was right about everything. He had betrayed everyone. Lied. Hurt Jimin in so many ways. Broken promises. Risked their futures. He deserved every word Yoongi lashed him with. It was enormously hard to hear, and Hoseok wasn’t sure he would ever be able to face him again.

But he might have chosen to relive it all to avoid this next part.

Hoseok pushed open the door and swiftly crossed the room, grabbing Jimin’s hand and pulling him away from Taehyung and Jungkook. He led him out of the room silently into the hallway, leaving the youngest pair behind with confusion on their faces. 

“Hyung, what’re you…” Jimin struggled to adapt to Hoseok’s pace.

“Not here…”

He walked a little further down the hallway until they came to a closet. Hoseok stepped in and pulled Jimin in after, closing the door behind them.

Jimin smirked flirtatiously, “Hyung, aren’t you tired?” he laughed. “This space is quite small…” Jimin stopped when he saw the look on Hoseok’s face. “Hoseok, what’s wrong?”

Hoseok took a deep breath and swallowed hard, fighting the tremors he felt in his hands. Jimin was looking at him, his eyebrows knit together in concern but his eyes warm and open. What have I done? How could I bring all this upon him? Jimin didn’t deserve any of this

Hoseok felt it coming on--panic. His heart was thudding and there was a ringing growing louder in his ears. He felt light headed and he was gasping trying to take in more air than his tightened chest would allow. He felt tears on his cheeks before he even realized he was crying and his knees gave out and collided hard with the cement floor. Through his blurring vision, he saw an angel, his angel rush toward him. 

Fear and shock coursed through Jimin as he saw Hoseok crumble. He reached him just as his knees gave out and he threw his arms around him to slow his fall. Together they slunk to the floor as Hoseok sobbed. 

Jimin felt tears welling in his own eyes as he held Hoseok, terror gripping him. Seeing Hobi cry had always hit Jimin hard but now it seemed almost impossible how desperate he felt to make sure Hobi was alright. He could feel him shaking in his arms, hear him choking for breath. “Hobi, talk to me. Please. What’s wrong?”

Hoseok tried, he really tried to find the words he’d practiced, the story he’d invented to protect Jimin but they wouldn’t come. He couldn’t come up with anything. There was only the painful truth there anymore. It was all that was there. “Yoongi knows!” Hoseok sobbed.

“Wha...What?” Jimin said, his heart racing. He knows?

“Yoongi. He saw…” 

Jimin exhaled. “Hobi, calm down,” he said, understanding finally. He felt a small relief. Yoongi must have seen something he shouldn’t have. It was bad. But it wasn’t anything they hadn’t planned for. They could find a way to explain...to make Yoongi doubt what he saw… “It’s okay. We can make something up--we’re always playing around with each other…”

“No, Jimin,” Hoseok said, choking his sobs back to make way for his voice. “He saw everything .” 

Jimin furrowed his brow, “Everything?” What was everything?

Hoseok stared at Jimin desperately trying to make him understand. “All of it.”

Jimin shook his head. “Hobi, what is it ? Did he...see us kissing?” That would be hard to explain but it wasn’t the end of the world. It surely would raise flags but they could say they were dared or they just wanted to see what it was like---no big deal---it was a one time thing. They wouldn’t have been the first pair of them to make out a little. But when could he have seen them though? They’d been careful. Jimin could think of a couple of times they had tried to sneak a quick peck outside of a locked room but he was sure they were alone…his thoughts were stalled when he saw Hobi hide his face and shake his head. 

“He was in the studio,” Hoseok said weakly, “In the sound booth. Just now.” He looked up at Jimin, his face twisted with anguish and guilt. “He saw us, Jimin. He heard us having sex .”

Jimin’s jaw fell slack as his head swam with visions of their last encounter. Yoongi was there? While they…? The underwear, the belt, Oppa ... Oh god . He felt sick. Jimin couldn’t keep his body from cringing in embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry, Jimin,” Hoseok said, watching Jimin’s face fall. “I’m so sorry.” 

Jimin shook his head. He was shocked and humiliated but all he cared about right now was Hoseok. He knew that what he was feeling right now was nothing compared to what Hoseok was. He tightened his arms, pulling him in closer and kissed his head. He felt Hoseok’s body heave below him as he began to sob again.   

This was brutal. Hoseok was in so much pain. Jimin understood why. Both of them were embarrassed and shocked and angry that they weren’t more careful. But Jimin didn’t feel nearly as much of the guilt and shame. If he felt any at all, it was for not caring as much about secrecy as Hobi did. So what if Yoongi knew? Maybe he wished he didn’t know as much as he did...But Jimin didn’t feel guilty about their relationship at all. They weren’t doing anything wrong

But that’s not how Hoseok saw it. That was never how Hoseok saw it. Their very act of being together was a betrayal in his eyes and he would never stop punishing himself for what they’d done. Hoseok had come a long way in dealing with all of that angst, but in moments like this, Jimin could see just how much shame every clandestine act of theirs caused him. He knew what it cost him every time they slept together.  

“Shhh.” Jimin said, rocking Hoseok, “It’s going to be okay, Hobi. We’ll talk to Yoongi. We’ll explain. He’ll understand.”

Hoseok shook his head. “How do we explain--? He won’t understand,” he argued. “You didn’t see him. Jimin, he was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that. He hates me. He’s never going to forgive me. And he’s definitely not going to understand.”

Hoseok’s take seemed more probable, Jimin had to admit. “What do you think he’ll do?” Jimin whispered.

“I don’t know, Minnie.” Hoseok sniffed. “I don’t know.”

“What did he say?” Jimin was almost afraid to ask but he had to know.

Hoseok’s face hardened. “He mostly yelled about how disgusting and awful I was. ‘ You put us all at risk,’ ‘You have responsibilities,’ ” Hoseok’s face scrunched, “ ‘How could I do that you?’ ” Hoseok was shaking. 

“To me?” Jimin whispered.

Hoseok looked at Jimin, his face twisting in pain, “Jimin, think about what he heard. I...hit you...I called you terrible names...I choked you...I…”

“No.” Jimin said, firmly, his teeth clenched tightly.  He wasn’t going to let Yoongi make Hoseok feel guilty about that. “I wanted all of that. I like all of that. What we do...the way we play isn’t wrong. You taught me that.” 

It’s not wrong in general --but Hoseok could never quite feel as sure about doing it to Jimin. But he didn’t have it in him to argue so he just nodded weakly.

Jimin squeezed him again, hoping the gesture would alleviate some of the stress on his own heart now. All those things Yoongi said to him were the things Hobi told himself all the time. All the things that made him punish himself. To hear his best friend confirm all of the terrible things he already thought about himself...that must have been so hard on him. “It’ll be okay, Hyung,” Jimin softly reassured him. “We’ll get through this. We’ll let things cool down for a while and then we’ll keep things to our dorm rooms and we’ll check our surroundings...It’ll be okay.”

Hoseok looked up and met Jimin’s eyes, his face falling, “Jimin, I promised him we’d stop...”

Jimin’s mouth popped open as he felt his heart stop. It was strange to him that he hadn’t seen that coming. Through this whole revelation, it hadn’t occurred to him for a second that it would mean this was all over. That was unfathomable. He felt blindsided. 

Jimin started to shake his head, “No--Hoseok, no. We can’t--we shouldn’t make a rash decision like that…”

“Jimin,” Hoseok interjected, finding Jimin’s hands and pulling them into his own, “Yoongi knows. Do you understand that? He knows . He’s going to be watching us like a hawk. It’s just too big of a risk now to keep doing this just for fun.”

Jimin felt like he’d just been slapped and he pulled his hands from Hoseok’s. “For fun?” He got to his feet and paced to the other side of the closet, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is that really what you feel like this is, Hoseok-- fun ?” How could he still not understand?

No. This wasn’t just “fun.” Hoseok knew that. It was fun, of course. But it felt important, too. Necessary. Like his life depended on it . Whatever it was between them, it meant a lot to him. In his head, he had categorized their relationship firmly as casual--he said it all the time to himself “we’re just having fun…” It took some of the pressure off and eased his conscience. But he cared about Jimin, of course. It was new to him, this dynamic. He didn’t have a word for it. But “fun” certainly didn’t do the job. Apparently it didn’t for Jimin either judging by his reaction. So the answer was no. But saying that would just make it harder for both of them to do what had to be done. 

“That’s not the point, Jimin.” Hoseok sighed. “Regardless of how either of us feel, how much we’re...enjoying this, we’ve always known it had an expiration date. And this is it. So now…” he swallowed thickly, “it’s over.” His voice cracked anyway and he cleared his throat before continuing. “Frankly, this lasted longer than either of us had any right to expect it might. We should be grateful that we had the time we did.” He nodded solemnly, saying all the responsible things but feeling hollow as he did.

Jimin’s heart pounded harder with every word out of Hoseok’s mouth, “You can’t be serious,” he said. He saw right through Hobi’s speil. He knew he put a lot of pressure on himself. He knew he was feeling painfully guilty right now--possibly more than he ever had. This speech was a reflection of that. This was Hobi trying to be professional and dutiful. But Jimin was sure he wasn’t any more capable of walking away from this than he was. Last week it had been Hobi begging Jimin not to leave.  

But Hoseok doubled down. “Of course I’m being serious,” he said, raising his voice a little. “You can’t possibly believe we can still do this? We got caught. We’ve been found out. It’s over.”

Jimin flinched. Hoseok’s voice was harsh and firm and Jimin felt it cut through him like a blade. His eyes narrowed as his stomach began to sink with the realization that Hoseok meant what he was saying. His nose started to burn painfully and a lump grew in his throat. His heart pounded in his chest and his breath came in short, staggered gasps.  “Hoseok...Hobi...we--”

“I know, Jimin. It’s not fair,” he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Maybe...maybe it is fair.” He said it almost to himself. “We had a really good run. Honestly, Jiminie, it was so special, all of it was better than anything I could have hoped for...anything I could have dreamed of…” His voice caught in his throat for a second, “I’m sorry...for everything...I’m sorry I didn’t check the studio...I’m sorry I took this so far...I’m...I’m so sorry it has to end like this but what we shared...what we had, what we’ll always have--”

“Daydream,” Jimin said, his voice barely audible, but the word dropping between them like a hammer.

Hoseok stopped. “What?”

“Daydream.” He looked up at Hoseok, pleading, the word stammered out from between his trembling lips.

Hoseok’s face became so pained, so quickly, “Jimin…”

“You told me to use it if it was too much. And this is too much. You’re hurting me, Hoseok, and I want you to stop. Daydream.” Jimin’s expression was defiant but he was barely maintaining it. His face was becoming ruddy as tears fell in a steady stream down his cheeks. 

“Minnie…”

“Please. Hobi.”

Hoseok couldn’t stop himself, the instinct to hold Jimin too all-encompassing. He moved to Jimin and caught his face in his hands, fighting tears as he felt Jimin’s roll over his fingers. This is exactly what he was afraid of. This is exactly why they never should have done this. He knew it would end like this. They were lucky, really, that it hadn’t been worse. At least Bangtan was spared. 

He felt the crushing pain reflected on Jimin’s face. It didn’t make sense for it to hurt this bad...but maybe this is what it felt like when frustration and anger and loss met shame and fear and guilt. Maybe this is what it felt like to betray your dongsaeng. To wound him so badly that he begged you to stop and have no choice but to carry on hurting him. This was the most awful feeling he’d ever experienced. He saw the depth of the pain in Jimin’s eyes, pain that he put there--and he felt something break inside of him. He was truly the worst excuse for a hyung. 

First Yoongi, then Jimin. He had hurt too many of the people he loved today.

“Hobi, we can’t…” His fists tightened into Hoseok’s sweater. We’re in love. He wanted to say it. But he couldn’t. It was such a beautiful thing to say and this moment wasn’t beautiful. It was tragic. It was hateful. It was pain and suffering and no amount of beautiful words was going to change any of that.

“Minnie,” Hoseok said, placing a kiss on Jimin’s cheek. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay.”

Jimin just shook his head. “Jimin, Jimin, listen to me,” Hoseok pulled his face up to his and held his gaze. He took a deep breath because the look in Jimin’s eyes could have leveled him. “I promise, we’re going to be okay.”

“How, Hobi?” Jimin choked, “how is this going to be okay?”

Hoseok pulled him into his chest again, trying to keep him from seeing the skepticism on his own face. “Maybe we can’t do all the things we were but we’re still best friends and we still love and care about each other. That was enough for us before. It can be enough for us now, okay?”

Jimin shook his head again. No . That can’t be enough for him. That can’t be enough for either of them. They were in love . Jimin’s breathing eased a little. We’re in love . This wasn’t over. They would get another chance at this. He had to believe that. They meant too much to one another. They were too good for each other. This wasn’t final. He just had to keep the door open for Hobi. He would come back when it hurt less.

“Hobi,” Jimin said, blinking the tears back again, “Please don’t leave me.”

Hoseok squinted at him. He had to leave him. They just talked about this.

Jimin looked resolute despite the tears still shining in his eyes. “I know that this is going to be hard but I’m going to need you. You . My hyung, my best friend, my sunshine. So you can’t just abandon me. Please don’t make me get through this alone.”

Hoseok’s heart squeezed and it hurt so much he wanted to punch the wall but what he did instead was probably more reckless. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Jimin’s and Jimin met them eagerly.

It was wet and messy and hapless but it was their last and Hoseok took every bit of strength and happiness he could from it. In the seconds they kissed, he tried to memorize everything he could about the way Jimin moved and felt and tasted. These lips. These lips . How was he going to get through his days without these lips anymore?  

Hoseok pulled away and Jimin lowered himself off his tiptoes.

“I’ll be right here, Minnie.” Hoseok promised, flinching when he realized he probably shouldn’t call Jimin that anymore. “Promise.”

 

***

Hoseok didn’t know how long they held each other but at some point he found himself trudging down the hall toward his room. He started a shower and just sat in the tub, letting the water pour over him. He didn’t know how long he sat there either. But eventually he heard Jungkook come back. An hour later...maybe more, he heard a soft knock on the door. 

“Hobi-hyung,” he heard Jungkook’s soft voice from behind the door.  

Hoseok didn’t answer. He wasn’t ready to get out of the shower yet.

“I...I just want to make sure you’re alive,” the voice came tentatively again.

That was fair. He had been in here for a while. “Yeaaap.” Hoseok drawled. “I’m alive.” He heard Jungkook move away from the door and let another 15 minutes pass before he turned off the water with a heavy sigh.

He shrouded himself in a towel and went out into the room which was dark now. Jungkook was a lump in his bed and Hoseok was relieved he didn’t have to try and make up an explanation for his behavior. He threw himself into bed and pulled the covers up all the way to his chin. He needed to sleep--to turn everything off but it was useless. He tossed and turned until his body was tired but still he couldn’t find comfort. He felt his breathing start to become a little labored and his eyes were wet with tears. 

His fists were balled into the sheets at his side when he felt a weight on his bed, warm and firm. 

It was Jungkook. He laid down tentatively with his arm across Hoseok’s chest, his face pressed into his shoulder and one leg pulled up over his knees. 

Jungkook used to do this all the time. When he was just a kid and new to the company. He kept it up for years. But he only did it very rarely now. It might have been nearly a year since his last visit. Jungkook always said it was comforting and that Hobi smelled good--that he was pleasant to sleep next to. And Hoseok never minded. It was nice for him too. And tonight, he needed it.

With Jungkook’s warm weight on him, his breathing eased and his body relaxed and he was able to drift into a fragile sleep, the fear of what a tomorrow without Jimin would be like falling to the back of his mind at last.

Chapter Text

Hoseok thought the walls looked especially gray this morning as he trudged along between them, his feet making heavy footfalls on the worn blue carpet beneath him. This hallway seemed longer than usual too. Maybe it was because he was hungry. Maybe it was because he was tired. Hoseok sighed heavily. If that was the case, he’d been hungry and tired for two weeks

He arrived at the cafeteria and filed into line for his food. As usual, staff offered him the opportunity to go ahead of them--a thoughtful gesture in recognition of the members’ sometimes limited meal time--but he waved them on with a grateful nod, not in any rush today.

He strolled through the food line picking a little of this and a little of that...nothing looked particularly appetizing to him. Not the food’s fault

He turned with his tray in hand and looked around the room for a place to sit. The room was too busy but the noise everyone made was just a dull hum to his ears as if he was listening to them from underwater. His eyes wandered indifferently around the room but his heart stuttered when a little flash of color caught his attention. He smiled as his focus cleared and the spot of color turned into Jimin. And his smile widened when he noticed Jimin was waving at him. Hoseok waved back as the rest of the room sharpened around him. 

His feet moved instinctively, a string at his navel pulling him in the direction of his dongsaeng, but his step faltered when a grey mess of hair moved in his peripheral. He glanced to his side and saw Yoongi seated at a table with Jin and Namjoon, staring at him with his lips pursed and his eyes full of warning. Hoseok’s feet stopped in their tracks and he suddenly regretted looking away from Jimin at all. Under Yoongi’s watchful glare, he shot a quick look back at Jimin whose smile had disappeared, and then walked himself to an empty table in the corner.  

And there he sat alone. In a room full of dull, gray people making dull, gray noises eating dull, gray food. This had been the status quo for almost two weeks now. 

Two weeks

That’s how long it had been since he and Jimin had...broken up wasn’t the right term. They were never together , not really. Two weeks since they’d stopped hooking up. Since they stopped flirting. Since they stopped doing anything. Even sitting with each other at breakfast.

It wasn’t their idea. Hoseok would have liked to talk to Jimin, sit with him at breakfast, if only to see how he was doing. He had no idea what was going through Jimin’s head and his mind wasn’t in the best state to try to guess what the looks they gave each other across crowded rooms meant. They hadn’t had two minutes alone together for two weeks. Because of Yoongi

Yoongi was everywhere. Two weeks ago, he was the company recluse but now he was a one-man panopticon, lurking around every corner, watching, waiting for them to betray him again. He checked that Hoseok was in his room--without Jimin--every single night, dropping by for a minute of tense, awkward small talk that Jungkook had already mentioned weirded him out. Hoseok didn’t know how to tell him he was on lockdown so he just shrugged and joked that Yoongi must be feeling lonely. 

Yoongi didn’t spend as much time watching Jimin. As far as Hoseok could tell the two hadn’t spoken at all about what happened. He was pretty sure Yoongi knew that Jimin knew they’d been caught but there was no way either of them would have willingly brought that up to each other. Yoongi only watched Jimin when it was more convenient than watching Hoseok.  He didn’t let both of them out of his sight at the same time. Even when he couldn’t be around, he’d ensure someone else was, staff or one of the other unwitting members. Babysitting .

At first, Hoseok felt too guilty and apologetic to be upset about it. He understood why Yoongi was angry with him and wary of his intentions. It hurt, of course, that Yoongi didn’t trust him--he promised he’d stop and he had every intention of following through with that--but he understood Yoongi’s unwillingness to take his word for it. He couldn’t really blame him. Aside from the very shocking and graphic way Yoongi found out about them, Yoongi had a dozen reasons at least to feel betrayed and insulted and horrified. And Hoseok understood all of that nuance because it was probably just an objective version of how he himself felt about his and Jimin’s thing. Inappropriate, dangerous, selfish ...Yoongi was just a reflection of Hoseok’s own internal self-loathing and a manifestation of the responsibility Hoseok had willfully neglected. 

But did he have to be so condescending about it?

Because of the excessive policing, Hoseok had been entirely unable to keep his promise to Jimin. He said in that closet that he’d make sure Jimin didn’t have to go through any of this alone. He promised. But Hoseok couldn’t get close to him if he tried. They only got to talk really in a group setting but even that was weird. Yoongi gave them such scathing, disapproving looks every time Jimin casually put his hand on Hoseok or Hoseok complimented Jimin. And Hoseok would inevitably catch the look and be brought to heel by his guilt. And he was probably projecting but he swore Yoongi almost seemed smugger about it every day.

So Hoseok was reduced to just watching Jimin from afar. 

He watched him in the car from the back seat while they traveled between venues, cooing at the little expressive faces he would make along with whatever music he was listening to, as if he himself were performing the song for an audience but in tiny. 

During studio recordings he would close his eyes as Jimin sang, enjoying the trembly, breathy vibrato and the little fry on the end of some of his phrases. It was the same little fry he put on the end the sweet, suggestive moans Hoseok pulled out of him time and time again over the last few months. 

Dance practice was the worst. When Jimin was in motion, sweaty and flushed, muscles rippling, hips circling, thighs... thighs ...he was so fluid and graceful and strong. And far too much like he was in bed. Dancing had become something almost sexual between them. So now, without the opportunity for private contact, just watching was unbearable. 

At night he wouldn’t fantasize...he’d remember . Hoseok spent a lot of time trying to make sure he didn’t forget anything. Not an inch of the way Jimin’s body looked when it was pinned below him or backed up against a wall or on all fours in front of him, back arched, ass reaching for the ceiling. Or the way his face contorted in pleasure when Hoseok finally let him climax. Or the way his small, delicate fingers twisted into Hoseok’s hair and held him tightly against his lips until they were both gasping for air.

And he didn’t just think about fucking him--he thought about how he used to hold him and kiss him and tell him how beautiful he was. He thought about how much he wanted to just hear him laugh, genuinely laugh ...not the relatively hollow imitation he sometimes did these days. He absolutely missed having Jimin’s body under his, but he was surprised how little he thought about that compared to the smaller, more intimate things they shared. Things that felt more private than the sex. Like the way Jimin’s hand felt in his. And that unique sparkle he got in his eyes that Hoseok had claimed for himself because he’d only ever seen it directed at him. The smell of his hair when he had his head tucked under his chin after they’d just finished a scene. Stupid little things that he didn’t remember noticing when he had the chance to enjoy them. But when he laid in bed at night missing him...that’s what his mind lingered on.

Right now, across the crowded cafeteria, he was watching him eat, paying close attention to the tiny ministrations his mouth made against his chopsticks, appreciating the fullness of his lips and the roundness of his cheeks when he chewed. 

He looked cute. He looked sexy. He looked...at ease.

More at ease than Hoseok was, anyway . That made him feel mostly better. Maybe a little sad. Maybe a little dejected. But relieved and infinitesimally less guilty. If he was being honest with himself, he’d expected Jimin to take their split a little harder. At least as hard as he was taking it. But Jimin doing pretty well. He didn’t seem too sad or fragile and he wasn’t shooting little passive aggressive comments at Hoseok so he wasn’t mad either. At least not at him. There was definitely tension between he and Yoongi. It hadn’t risen to the level of confrontation yet, but there was no warmth or sincerity in their interactions at all anymore. Hoseok felt responsible for that too. 

But at the moment, Jimin looked perfectly content where he sat, laughing with Tae and Jungkook. Maybe that was the difference . Maybe Jimin was doing so well because he still had Tae. Tae could be a comfort, a distraction, a physical presence. Maybe Hoseok would be doing better than he was if he didn’t have to deal with his best friend hating him too.

Either way Jimin had kept his distance. Hoseok knew he shouldn’t take it personally. Hoseok hadn’t gone to him either. And with Yoongi always watching them, it wasn’t reasonable to expect otherwise. Jimin couldn’t come to him even if he did want to. No more than Hoseok could to Jimin. 

It didn’t really matter anyway. Even if they did have a few minutes alone together, it was over. Jimin was off limits again. Wanting him was irrelevant and pointless. Hoseok meant the words but even as he thought them, his body was betraying him, growing warm and tingly at the mere thought of a few stolen moments alone with him.

He shook his head and looked back down to his plate reminding himself that thinking like that, imagining those things was only making it worse. But chastising himself was useless--try as he might, Jimin was constantly at the front of his mind. Everything reminded him of Jimin. Even his breakfast was taunting him . Rice cakes. Jimin’s cheeks puff up when he smiles like he’s chewing on rice cakes. Peaches. Jimin smells like peaches. Mango juice? Jimin doesn’t really like mangos. Chopsticks? Jimin eats with chopsticks...

Ugh . Hoseok tossed his chopsticks down in frustration and stood, his food untouched and his tray clutched tightly in his fist. 

Jimin was watching Hoseok too so he saw him skip his breakfast for the third time this week, tossing it into a compost bin on his way out the door. 

Two minutes earlier he also saw Yoongi pull out a notebook and slip a pair of headphones between himself and Jin, the pair working on a song that he’d been producing for the eldest.  

“I’m going to get a head start today,” Jimin said in a low voice, getting to his feet and turning to his younger friends. “Can I have this?” he asked, grabbing a pink apple off of Tae’s tray. He didn’t give Tae a chance to answer--he knew it would be yes--so he just said thank you and quickly bussed his tray too, sticking near the walls of the cafeteria so as not to catch Yoongi’s attention. 

Two weeks ago, Jimin had left that closet mortified and exhausted and frustrated. But not hopeless. He believed in what he and Hoseok had. He knew that, whatever Hoseok thought, they were in love and that wasn’t the kind of thing they could just walk away from. There wasn’t a question in his mind that they would find a way to be together again. It was an inevitability.

But that was two weeks ago . And while his affection, his love for Hoseok hadn’t faded, his optimism had taken a hit.

Jimin knew that it would take time. Hoseok got skittish about much smaller scares. And this time, they got caught . In the worst imaginable way. By his best friend. By their brother. Hoseok had been the one forced to bear that confrontation--not Jimin. He was the one who got yelled at, who had to face Yoongi right after he’d been so exposed, he was the one who was blamed and shamed and scolded. 

And he was the one who made the promise to end it.

So of course it would take a little time for him to be ready to pick things back up. Jimin was trying to be patient but they had been so close--so infuriatingly close--to having everything he ever wanted. Mere weeks away, Jimin believed, from confessing to one another, embracing what they were really feeling and what it meant about what they were doing. When Jimin closed his eyes he could see it, taste it, feel it...it was so real

But Jimin had underestimated their situation. For one, he hadn’t imagined Yoongi would be so diligent in his guard. Every time they sat at the same table, Yoongi would join them seconds later. If Hoseok was in his studio, Yoongi made sure he or someone else was keeping Jimin busy elsewhere. The other day they piled into the van and Jimin followed Hoseok to the back, only for Yoongi to join them and then wedge himself between them. And Hoseok just let him. What did he think they were going to do?! Sure, Jimin had thought about maybe trying to hold Hoseok’s hand or even just press their thighs against each other’s for the contact. But what harm was that, really? It wasn’t anything they hadn’t done a million times before. 

Apparently Yoongi didn’t agree. So he didn’t let them out of his sight. For two weeks . It didn’t seem careful. It seemed spiteful. Vindictive, even. Jimin understood him being angry at the lying and what he perceived as them being irresponsible but why be so petty about it? That was never Yoongi’s style.

And then there was Hoseok. He wasn’t helping their situation at all. Jimin wasn’t mad that he hadn’t been around--with Yoongi hovering that was impossible anyway. He was sure that Hoseok was upset about the split. He knew he wasn’t eating or sleeping well. He knew that he was distracted and out of sorts. But he seemed to have given in . He was letting Yoongi follow him around and tell him what to do. He was letting himself be cut off from Jimin. He was letting Yoongi dictate their future. Maybe it was selfish or petulant but part of Jimin wished he’d catch Hoseok crying or having an angry outburst and flinging his tray off the cafeteria table. He wanted him to fight for them. It would make Jimin feel better to see Hoseok fight for them. 

Wanton, lingering, nostalgic looks from across the room just weren’t enough to reassure Jimin that Hoseok was going to come back to him. That everything was going to be okay.

Two weeks without talking, without touching, without trying had made the whole thing start to feel a little like a dream. Though Jimin’s feelings never waned, it was too easy to forget--to doubt--that Hoseok was every bit as in love with him too. 

He just wanted two minutes alone with Hoseok to see if he still had the hearts in his eyes.

“Hoseokie-hyung!” 

Hoseok stopped in the hallway when he heard Jimin call him from behind. He turned around and smiled as he saw the pretty blonde jog to catch up with him. Jimin was smiling too. It was light and easy and it felt like a breath of fresh air in the long, gray hallway. Hoseok felt his skin prickle as Jimin slowed to a stop in front of him. 

“Hi,” the younger said, a little breathless. 

“Hi,” Hoseok answered. 

They stared at each other for a moment, silently, but not in an empty way. There was a lot passed between them in those few seconds. Jimin saw the hearts, bright and shining, as twinkly as ever in Hoseok’s deep brown eyes, despite the dark circles under them. His shoulders relaxed a little in relief as he made sure to send his own back loud and clear. Their hands fluttered at their sides, both of them wanting to touch and sensing the other’s instinct to touch but not knowing really where they stood outside of that obvious physical pull. But before either of them could ask or figure it out, Yoongi appeared around the far corner of the hall and leaned casually but pointedly against the wall in a way that let them know they were being chaperoned. 

Jimin rolled his eyes and let out a long, irritated sigh before looking back at Hoseok, whose twinkly hearts were now obscured, his eyes having gone unnaturally dim and cloudy with shame. Hoseok opened his mouth, maybe to say a quiet goodbye but Jimin defiantly leaned back against the wall, intent on not letting Yoongi chase them apart just yet. 

“I don’t understand why he’s so far up our ass…” Jimin glared down the hall at him.

Hoseok glanced nervously toward Yoongi again, his hands fidgeting and his body turned as if he was still contemplating fleeing. “Min, he’s just…doing what he thinks is best…”

“And I don’t understand why you’re taking his side…”.

Hoseok bristled, defensively, “I’m not. I just…”

“I know…” Jimin said, his voice almost as sympathetic as it was annoyed, “you feel like we deserve this. Like this is some sort of karma for our many sins .” The word was a sneer, Jimin making a face as he said it like it was bitter on his tongue.

Hoseok shook his head, “He just wants to make sure we’re not--”

“It’s none of his business either way!” Jimin snapped.

Hoseok glanced at Yoongi again, unsure about how much he could hear, but he lowered his voice anyway, hoping Jimin would follow his lead. “It is his business. We can’t pretend like what we were doing doesn’t affect the team.” 

Jimin scoffed leaned his head back against the wall, “Well it’s not like we’re doing it now...We’re not even allowed to talk to each other.” He kicked at the floor petulantly, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Hoseok’s voice was reassuring now, more patient. “It’ll get better. Once he realizes we’ve stopped--”

“Have we stopped, then?” Jimin interrupted, looking up at Hoseok through his thick lashes. 

Hoseok’s heart stuttered a bit and he swallowed nervously, aware of the sudden charge that electrified the air between them. He glanced down the hall again to where Yoongi’s form was becoming more visibly agitated. 

“Yes, Jimin, we’ve stopped.” Hoseok affirmed.

“I disagree.”