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More than perfect

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Alec had been working a lot lately. Magnus wasn’t sure what Alec could be doing in the institute that late, some nights he’d only went passed the apartment to get a change of clothes. Magnus was planning to talk to him, soon, if he could only get the man to stand still for one whole minute. But now, out of the blue Alec had made dinner, Magnus really hoped he’d ordered in. Alec was already waiting by the table when Magnus came home from a client’s house.

“Well, this is a nice surprise. It’s like I haven’t seen you in two weeks.”

Magnus hung his jacket on the coat stand by the door and didn’t hesitate to pull Alec to his feet and greet him with a kiss. Alec cupped Magnus’s cheeks and kissed him a second time, before nodding towards the other chair. Magnus sat down and looked over the neatly set table, candles and food that Alec definitely hadn’t made himself.

“This looks amazing, but how much time do you have? Should we go right for dessert?” Magnus reached over the table and laced his fingers with Alec’s as he reached out too.

“I have time. I have to admit something.”

Magnus didn’t see guilt in Alec’s eyes. It’s couldn’t be bad then.

“Is that so?”

Alec nodded and looked at his thumb gracing lightly over the back of Magnus’s hand.

“Alexander?”

“I haven’t been that busy. I…” He looked up and Magnus shook his head to make clear that he needed further explanation. Alec pulled his hand away and gathered both on his lap. “I’ve been walking a lot. Thinking.”

This night was taking a fast and unpredictable turn and Magnus felt suddenly uneasy. He put his elbows on the table, gathering his hands in front of him, unsuccessfully trying to calm himself.

“Does that mean, that every time I’ve waited up, feeling sorry that you were working yourself to the ground, you’ve just been walking around aimlessly?”

“I’m sorry Magnus. I should have just talked to you.” He looked down and seemed to get smaller right in front of Magnus’s eyes. “I just thought I needed to decide for myself first.”

Magnus’s heart skipped a beat. This wasn’t happening. They were going strong. Both of them had been busy the year and a half after the wedding but there had been no signs that Alec didn’t think so. Was there? Suddenly, Magnus doubted everything. He felt his lungs solidifying and his breathing got short and shallow.

“Decide what?” Magnus didn’t want to hear it, but the state of half breathing wasn’t working. Getting air back in or dying from suffocation was his only options. “Alexander. Are you not happy?”

Alec’s face sprung up and a confused frown were already pinched between his eyebrows.

“Magnus. How could you even…?” Alec broke his own string of words and hastily stood beside Magnus and pulling him up by both hands.

“Listen…”

Alec stilled, holding Magnus’s shoulders in strong grips. Magnus felt Alec wait for him and he looked up at the golden brown eyes.

“No matter how awkward or weird I act, that will never be it. You have to know that by now.”

Magnus felt his shoulders relax under Alec’s hands and he just as he’d come to terms with never breathing right again, his lungs pulled in a long light breath. He nodded at Alec and felt a small smile spread on his face.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Magnus took one of Alec’s hands hand held it in both of his. “But now, please tell me what you’ve spent all these hours thinking about?”

Alec nodded and looked down at their hands between their chests. “We’ve been married for almost a year and a half now, The Clave has been running as smoothly as we could ever have hoped for the last year, everything is quiet home and now when Clary and Jace seems to have figured everything out, it’s going good for once and has in a long time…”

“Alexander.”

Alec looked up and Magnus cupped his cheek and smiled at him. “You’re rambling. I agree, it’s all very good. Now, get to the point.”

There was nothing that Magnus loved more than Alec’s smiles; the big ones that came with laughter, the sudden ones when Magnus surprised him at work, even the hint of a smile when Alec was sleeping, but the best one was the loving one. The one he used as a sign that they were agreeing, that they were seeing eye to eye, that he understood Magnus and that he knew Magnus understood him. The smile he was wearing right now.

“I hoped you would take a step more with me.”

Magnus shook his head, again telling Alec that he didn’t follow. Alec took both of Magnus’s hands and let all four hands hang together low between them.

“I want to make this… us, a bigger family. Magnus, do you want to have a child with me?”