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Stalking Kacchan

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For Midoriya Izuku, Thursdays were great for many reasons.

On Thursdays, the cafeteria would serve Katsudon. The bowls were so ginormous, Izuku’s head could fit in. Thursdays also meant Izuku could go back to his dorm one hour earlier, since their History teacher, Aizawa Shouta, always preferred to give them assignments and take-home quizzes so he could take his beauty sleep. Izuku wasn’t complaining. At all.

But the best part about Thursdays was that the swim team had two hours of practice instead of their usual one hour during the rest of the week.

Izuku was getting giddy just by thinking about it. It was a shame his friends didn’t understand what was so great about the swim team’s two-hour training, though. Why couldn’t they see it?

It meant that Izuku and the rest of the students of U.A. High would get to see Bakugou Katsuki’s glorious body for a whole one hundred and twenty minutes.

The way Katsuki’s back muscles deliciously grew taut when he warmed up, the way the water sinfully trickled over his chest and abs, the way he sensually ran his hand through his wet, pale blond hair...

Oh god. Izuku was in heaven.

He quickly slapped both of his cheeks to stop himself from getting a boner in public.

But Izuku planned something special this Thursday. This Thursday, Izuku would put an end to his twisted infatuation with Bakugou Katsuki.

Not a day had passed that Izuku didn’t think about Katsuki (both G-Rated and R-Rated thoughts) ever since the blonde had transferred in U.A. High six months ago. It was Izuku’s guilty pleasure, a little secret he had stashed away.

Izuku knew thinking about Katsuki every second of the day was an unhealthy hobby. Which was why he had finally decided to put a stop to his obsession after days of painstaking consideration.

His plan was simple and flawless.

Since no one was perfect, it would also imply that Bakugou Katsuki was also not perfect. It was a universal fact, so it had to be true. Still, Izuku was having a hard time believing that, since Katsuki looked like a Greek God.

All Izuku had to do was catch Katsuki in a moment of imperfection.

Maybe he have foul-smelling feet, or have an infectious disease, or didn’t help the old lady asking him to help her cross the street, or kick a dog, or… something. Anything!

Izuku flipped to a fresh page in his notebook and reached for the pencil tucked behind his ear.

Target: Kacchan
Age: 18
Height: 6'1"
Eye color: Red
Hair color: Blond
Mission will commence at 7:45 A.M.

Izuku then proceeded to doodle hearts around Katsuki’s name.

"Unbelievable." Uraraka Ochako, Izuku’s best friend, peeked over his shoulder and read over Izuku’s scheme for today, "You are such a freak, Izuku."

As much as Izuku wanted to deny that he was a freak, he knew it was true. No sane person would concoct a plan to stalk the object of their obsession affections. Besides, best friends knew best, right?

“But why are your names here Deku and Kacchan?”

“Well, if ever someone got ahold of this notebook, no one would know that it’s mine. And Kacchan’s a cute name! Just like him.”

Ochako looked at him in disbelief, her wide, brown eyes seemingly trying to convey: ‘In what world is that guy cute?’

“Look, Izu. I don’t really know what you see in that guy, but he’s a giant asshole with anger issues. I heard that’s why he keeps on changing schools. That should be enough for you to drop him.”

“He’s just misunderstood, Ochako.” Yes, Katsuki may indeed look like an edgy, ruggedly handsome delinquent at first glance. But Izuku could tell that even with a seemingly permanent scowl etched in his face, Katsuki was harmless. Just like an angry Pomeranian.

Well, at least that was what Izuku had observed in the swim team practices when the blonde would ‘reluctantly’ help his teammates out.

“Okay, fine. I’ll support you, Izuku. Besides, maybe he’s gay, too. What kind of guy like him doesn't have a girlfriend already? He's definitely gay." Ochako whispered with a wink.

Izuku could feel a flare of hope in his chest. Ochako had a point. How could a smart, athletic, attractive guy not have a girlfriend? How?

Izuku grinned at that thought. Maybe, he did have a chance! Or...

Katsuki could be asexual.

Izuku lay his head down to his desk, letting it cool down his overactive brain.

Whatever it was, be it his sexlessness, secret fetish, or nose-picking, Izuku was going to find out so that his soul and libido may finally put to rest.


7:49 A.M.
➭ Deku’s location: Swim Team Locker Room
➭ Kacchan is approaching his locker with Kirishima Eijirou and Kaminari Denki.
➭ Actions: chatting and laughing
➭ Notes: Kacchan is beautiful when he smirks. He has beautiful straight, white teeth. Swoon.

"And Kayama-sensei was like ‘Well I'm sure everybody here already knows about Murphy's Law... but you guys surely don't know about Cole's Law, am I right?’ So I said, 'Thinly sliced cabbage,'" Denki joked.

Katsuki snorted, but made no response.

Eijirou, on the other hand, doubled over in laughter and smacked Denki on the back. "Holy shit, man! That’s awesome."

Izuku couldn’t help but smile at the trio. He had attended middle school with both Eijirou and Denki, and they hadn't changed since. Still the same goofy, carefree duo. They were, however, gifted athletes.

When Katsuki reached his locker, his fingers automatically spun the right combination on the lock. And not once did he look at it.

Izuku started fanning himself in his hiding place.

Good lord, that was hot.

But the massive, Organic Chemistry textbook he took out, was not.

Strike One: Kacchan has questionable academic taste.

Since his English teacher, Yamada Hizashi, was on sick leave due to a nasty flu, the first two hours would just be a free period. Add to that the early dismissal, Izuku only had to skip one class today. But it also meant that it was necessary for him to endure all of Katsuki’s favorite subjects: Organic Chemistry, Physics and Calculus.

Katsuki may look like a jock, but he was a nerd deep, deep inside. The blonde was in the top 3% of the school academically, and word of mouth said he took those subjects because he... enjoyed them.

Izuku was a nerd himself, but not to that extent.


7:53 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is heading towards his first class.
➭ Deku will report back when he’s settled in the classroom.

Thank god for big classrooms. It was the middle of Organic Chemistry, and surely, no one would notice Izuku out of over seventy students.

Of course, there was still some who had asked what he was doing in that class. But Izuku had said he was taking notes for Ochako, who suddenly felt sick and decided to head home.

Well, Ochako wasn’t really sick. Izuku had done a little bit of the three B's—begging, bribing, and blackmailing—in that order, and it was easy as heck to make Ochako agree and go home for the day.

Izuku loved it when things went his way.

Katsuki was sitting in the row next to the window, three seats from the back. Izuku was at the very back, just one row off.

So far, Izuku didn’t see anything out of ordinary. Katsuki hadn’t committed any heinous crimes that would make him a grave threat to the society.

On the contrary, Katsuki was a good student despite his looks suggesting otherwise—he was dutifully taking notes, glancing out the window occasionally. He had turned around twice; once was to borrow a ruler, while the other time was to whisper something to the person next to him. And nope, it wasn’t the flirty kind. He appeared to be just asking something about the lecture.

➭ Kacchan likes to alternate between red and black pens when writing.
➭ Kacchan has a habit of drumming his fingers against edge of desk.
➭ Kacchan has magnificent shoulders and back muscles.
➭ Deku wants to feel them moving underneath his fingertips and and press his naked body against them. Oh la la.

‘Oh la la’ was right. Izuku had never wanted to get down on his knees and do the nasty more than this moment. Izuku wanted—no, needed—Katsuki to pop his precious, little cherry. No, really. He was a hundred percent serious.

There was something about Bakugou Katsuki that made him want to be bold and naughty.

Oh, Kacchan...


Darn it! Izuku fell asleep.

And judging by the nearly empty classroom and the steady stream of students coming in for the next class, Organic Chemistry was over. Izuku let out a loud groan. He still needed to follow Katsuki through two more headache-inducing subjects.

9:16 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is nowhere to be found.
➭ Hypothesis: Kacchan is heading to next medium of torture – Physics.
➭ Deku’s status: still alive, but barely breathing.

"Excuse me, sorry," Izuku said, sidestepping a group of freshmen loitering by the door.
The hallway was congested yet again, as it always was during the ten minute break between each subject.

U.A. High was a huge school. But thing is, the school had over fifteen thousand students. That meant they were packed like sardines. That also meant Izuku was in a disadvantage since his height was kind of on the short side. Not Mineta Minoru-short, but the kind of short wherein he could tuck his head perfectly under Katsuki’s chin.

Izuku found exiting the classroom easy, but the part he was dreading was getting through the thick crowd.

Shit, some of these kids walked slower than Gran Torino (the snarky taiyaki vendor down the street). Izuku was going to choke the next person he saw stopping in the middle of the hallway to shout greetings to their homies that they haven't seen in ages. When in fact, they’d seen each other just an hour ago.

When Room 221 came into Izuku’s sight, he also saw the familiar spiky, blond head disappearing through the door.

Kacchan can run, but he can't hide. Lmao.

Just like in the previous class, Izuku took a seat in the last row. He was three seats away, diagonally.

"Midoriya? What’re you doing here, man? You’re not in this class.”

Izuku grinned sheepishly. "Oh, hi, Sero-kun. I’m gonna take notes for Ochako. She isn’t feeling well. I swear, that girl’s pushing herself too hard sometimes. She’s too stubborn for her own good."

Oh yes, that’s how you do it. Izuku wanted to pat himself on the back for that. Give him an Oscar already.

The black-haired guy furrowed his brows. "Sucks for her, man. But didn’t she tell you that we have a quiz today?"

Oh crap. He didn’t know the first thing about Physics.

"Uhm... no. She forgot that little tidbit."

"Don't worry," Sero Hanta, the cool bro that he was, said with a playful nudge. "If you're quiet, Kayama won't even see you. She never checks past the fourth row."

Izuku found out that what Sero said was true: Kayama-sensei didn’t really care to lift her gaze past the fourth row. Instead, she spent most of her time checking herself out on the small pocket mirror she had brought with her.

Izuku found himself smiling giddily. This would be the perfect opportunity for him to observe Katsuki in a test-taking environment. If he caught Katsuki cheating, then it’s all over. Izuku could finally go back to his normal life.

9:26 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is sitting at his desk, reviewing his notes.
➭ A hot guy with a bad white and red dye job walks into room and down Kacchan’s aisle.
➭ Kacchan looks up and checks out hot guy.
➭ Check-out style: slow once-over with narrowed eyes.
➭ Hot guy and Kacchan make eye-contact.
➭ Kacchan immediately scowled at him and looked away.
➭ Deku’s status: confused and slightly jealous.

What on earth was that? Was Katsuki checking hot guy out? Or was he harboring some kind of deep resentment for him? Izuku was confused.

Said hot guy’s name was Todoroki Shouto—vice president of the student body and predicted salutatorian. That was already a huge achievement, since no one could ever beat Iida Tenya when it came to academics. That man was a not human.

Izuku hated to admit it, but Shouto was freaking sexy. He was like those brooding, mysterious, piano-playing guys Izuku saw in movies. His mom was a model, while his dad was one of Japan’s most famous actors slash 2018’s Sexiest Man in The World (which in Izuku’s opinion, Todoroki Enji didn’t deserve. Toshinori Yagi was waaay sexier.). So that pretty much explained where Shouto’s good looks came from.

Strike Two: Kacchan is probably promiscuous.
➭ Kacchan’s homosexuality: 50-50. Deku needs more data.
➭ Deku’s status: Excited at the prospect that Kacchan’s gay... but still slightly jealous.

"Books away, everyone. Scientific calculators are not allowed." Kayama-sensei didn’t even look up from her mirror.

Katsuki’s sudden movement when the test papers were being passed down piqued Izuku’s interest. The blonde shifted in his seat, a slight discomfort evident from his profile. Izuku unconsciously zeroed in on the blonde’s bubble butt as it lifted from the chair whenever he shifted.

Holy. Broccoli.

Izuku could recognize those actions anywhere. He’ve done them himself countless times.

Izuku could hear his pencil creaking, his grip on it growing increasingly tighter by each second. Any more and it would snap into two, but the green-haired man couldn’t care less. What he was about to witness was ground-breaking, revolutionary.

Bakugou Katsuki was going to fart! He was going to f—

Katsuki reached under his seat to get an orange eraser. Frowning, the blonde then placed it at the corner of his desk before returning his attention back to his test paper.

And Izuku was beyond disappointed.

Darn it all to hell! How anticlimactic.

9:26 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is on page one of the quiz.
➭ Deku’s status: bored.
➭ Notes: Kacchan has uneven ears, and there are eight lines in his forehead when concentrating.
9:41 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is still on page one.
➭ Deku’s status: still bored.
➭ Notes: Kacchan has feminine, plump lower lip.
10:05 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is finally on page two. Progress!
➭ Deku’s status: doodling ‘Kacchan ♡ Deku’ all over his test paper.
10:24 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is done! Kacchan is now diligently double checking his answers while tapping his foot to muted music.
➭ Kacchan is amazing!
➭ Deku’s status: foaming at the mouth from boredom. When will this torture end?!

Izuku looked at the clock anxiously. He just needed to sit through five more minutes, and this class would finally be over. The only interesting thing that happened was when Katsuki sneezed and six people simultaneously chorused ‘Bless you.'

Izuku thought Katsuki looked adorable when he sneezed, but his sneeze was kind of ugly. Though, it was not gross enough to make it strike three. Izuku hated the kind of sneeze that sounded mucus-y. Plus, Katsuki was clean. The blonde did not wipe his nose with the back of his hand. Instead, he rummaged through his bag for a small package of tissue.

Oh god. Hygienic men are such a turn on.

Ding-dong.

Izuku shook his head to stifle his laughter. The sound of their U.A. High’s bell never failed to amuse him. It sounded just like his house’s doorbell. But who really cared? The only thing that mattered was that class was over.

And now Izuku was off to… have mercy on him—Calculus.

Izuku loved numbers, too. Most especially if there were yen signs attached.

Izuku walked out of the classroom determinedly. This was the class where Izuku would reveal Bakugou Katsuki’s true colors—a lying, slutty, dog-kicker. Izuku would then be able to focus on his life again. He could prepare for college entrance exams without picturing the way Katsuki concentrated on math problems. He could take a shower without imagining Katsuki’s naked body. He could eat without thinking about Katsuki’s delectable mouth.

Izuku could live again.

Deku’s status: on the move. Dun dun dun.


Calculus turned out to be troublesome, since Katsuki decided to sit in the back row. It meant that there was no way for Izuku to observe him from any of the remaining available seats. Sighing defeatedly, Izuku had no choice but to sit two seats away and hope Katsuki won’t turn his head to the right for the next hour.

A tap came from the left.

Asui Tsuyu.

"Can you pass this down to Bakugou-chan?" she asked Izuku, handing him a small, folded rectangular note.

"Sure," Izuku replied with a brilliant grin, taking it from her.

The note felt heavy in Izuku’s hand. He was curious as to what the note was about.

Was Tsuyu asking Katsuki out? A secret rendezvous? Asking him to do something scandalous with her? Drugs? Oral Sex?

Strike Three: Kacchan is possibly an undercover drug dealer or pimp.

It gave Izuku a sick sort of satisfaction to know that everyone thought he was perfectly normal, and had no idea of the psychotic madman that lurked beneath. People shouldn’t trust him so easily.

Tsuyu stood up to go to the restroom without checking to see if the message had been already delivered to Katsuki.

As inconspicuously as Izuku possibly could, he lowered his forehead onto the edge of the desk. His hands were hidden underneath the table as he started to unfold the note. With shaking fingers, Izuku opened the last fold and treated himself with the juicy information.

”Swim practice is canceled today. Tell Kaminari and Kirishima if you see them. :)”

The disappointment was too much for Izuku. He handed the note rightward without even refolding the piece of paper.

"It's for Bakugou-kun."

10:34 A.M.
➭ Kacchan tests negative for drug abuse.


11:36 A.M.
➭ Kacchan has committed no crime but drink pineapple juice.

Izuku was feeling conflicted. The good news was Calculus was finally over. The bad news was nothing noteworthy had happened.

Maybe Katsuki was really a good person, and Izuku would have to spend his remaining days in High School pining over him. The looming sense of failure drained all the energy out of the green-haired man.

He let out a huge, defeated sigh.

Then, he saw Katsuki rising from his seat and walking out of the classroom. The blonde looked eager to get out of class just as much as everyone else.

And like the good little spy that Izuku was, he followed.

It would probably be much easier if Izuku could just walk up to Katsuki, talk to him, and get to know him more. But, it was much easier said than done.

See, Izuku enjoyed talking to people. He liked making new friends. But for some reason, he just couldn't function, speak, or act as he usually would have whenever Bakugou Katsuki approached within five meters.

It never really bothered Izuku that a lot of girls and guys liked to ogle Katsuki. Who could blame them? But as much as they loved to stare at the striking blonde, they didn't pine. Of course, a few had tried. But in the end, they all gave up because of his rather 'explosive' personality.

11:44 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is heading into the restroom.
➭ Deku’s status: Stealth Mode ON.

Surprisingly, there was not a single soul in the hallway. It was eerily quiet. Izuku looked once to the right, then to the left. Once he was sure the hallway was clear, he darted in.

Okay, Izuku had to admit that maybe he was going a little too far. But if the restroom wasn't where people showed their true colors, then he didn't know where else they would.

All of the urinals were empty, so it seemed Katsuki was presently occupying a dark blue-colored stall. Oof. What could be more of a turn off than hearing your crush taking a dump?

11:47 A.M.
➭ Kacchan is in the last stall.
➭ Deku is in the second to last stall.

Izuku felt antsy and nervous. He wondered if Katsuki could hear his escalated breathing? His hammering heartbeat? Because he sure could.

Izuku plopped down on the toilet seat and bolted the lock. He turned to the left so that the blonde wouldn't see his feet. He wouldn’t be a great spy if Katsuki saw his red Jordans.

Katsuki’s feet, though, were big.

Izuku brows furrowed as he tried to remember a particular saying about that... Aha! Big hands, big feet, big—

Izuku suddenly heard unzipping and shuffling coming from the Katsuki’s stall. Izuku wasn’t sure, but maybe he was taking off his clothes?

He heard an uncapping sound, and a loud glop. It was then followed by... the sound of skin rubbing together.

Izuku leaned closer and heard the distinctive smack, smack between the chafing.

What in the world? Izuku couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Oh my god! Is Kacchan...

He then heard a low groan followed by a quick hiss.

Holy shit! Izuku veered away and stared at the thin divider between his stall and Katsuki’s in shock.

Katsuki was masturbating. In a restroom stall. At school.

And here Izuku was, sitting on a toilet bowl, listening to the love of his life jerk off in the adjacent stall.

11:52 A.M.
➭ Kacchan’s status: caught masturbating in a restroom stall at school.
➭ Deku’s status: in the adjacent stall, hyperventilating.
➭ Mission:complete?

Just as Izuku was about to stand up and make himself scarce forever, Katsuki set something down on the ground.

Oh, Holy Mother of All Might. Was that his lube—

Wait a second.

Izuku peered down and observed the bottle. It didn't quite look like lube, but more like... a prescription lotion. Izuku squinted as hard as he could and read the label.

Betamethasone valerate 0.1% w/w Cream (30 g)
APPLY TO AFFECTED ECZEMIC AREA(S) TWICE A DAY.

Eczema. Izuku wanted to bang his head to the stall’s wall. He was so stupid.

11:53 P.M.
➭ Kacchan was caught applying prescription cream, not lube.
➭ Deku feels relieved. But his embarrassment at his stupidity outweighed the relief.
➭ Mission: up in the air.

Izuku didn't know if he still wanted to find out Katsuki’s dirty little secrets anymore. He didn’t know if he could handle the trauma.


12:13 P.M.
➭ Location: 800 meters off school grounds.
➭ Kacchan is walking in an unknown direction. Perhaps for lunch?
➭ Deku’s status: weary and wary.

The city streets were busy and lively since it was lunch time. It would be make it harder for Izuku to follow Katsuki through the crowds, but at least, there was little chance of the green-haired man being discovered.

Gripping tightly the straps of his trusty yellow backpack, Izuku followed Katsuki determinedly as the blonde strolled down the streets of Musutafu with his bag slung over his shoulder.

Izuku loved the way Katsuki walked. The blonde had an effortless ease and swagger about him that commanded the undivided attention of those around him.

Katsuki then abruptly stopped in front of Satou’s Café.

Ah, Izuku nodded in agreement. Good choice. Not only the restaurant was a quick three minute walk from U.A. High, they have such great waffles, too!

Seating himself at a small, black booth by the wall, Katsuki immediately flipped open the menu and began to scan the items.

Izuku, on the other hand, crept into the two-person booth diagonal from Katsuki and pretended to check what was on the menu.

"Would you like anything to drink?" The waiter, who had black, spiky hair and probably the biggest and thickest lips Izuku had ever seen, stopped in front of Izuku’s table.

"Just, uh, water. Thanks."

Izuku was tempted to hide behind the fancy, golden, laminated menu.

12:24 P.M.
➭ Kacchan is ordering food.
➭ Deku cannot strain his ears enough to hear.

"Sorry, I’m still uhm... deciding. Can you come back in a few minutes?" Izuku told the waiter with the Kardashian-esque. He looked at the waiter with his best 'these are all so delicious, I cannot possibly pick one' face.

But honestly? Izuku really was hungry—tired and hungry.

Who wouldn’t be tired and hungry after spending five hours stalking the object of his affections? Izuku slumped defeatedly onto his seat. He was ready to conclude that Bakugou Katsuki did not fart, burp, scratch his crotch, pick his nose, or masturbate, in public.

On the contrary, Katsuki was a dedicated student and athlete— he was smart, caring, confident, and an all around amazing guy.

This was not turning out the way Izuku wanted to. At all.

Fifteen minutes had passed before the waiter brought Katsuki’s order: not one, but two waffles. And judging by the color and smell as the waiter carried it past, they were possibly blueberry and Nutella.

12:53 P.M.
➭ Kacchan has a sweet tooth and a big appetite.
➭ Deku’s status: hungry.

Izuku placed his chin above his hands in contemplation. Maybe Katsuki was ugly when he ate. For Izuku, bad table manners were a big no-no. The sight of guys stuffing so much food in their mouths all at once that parts of it stuck out and dribbled down their chins was downright disgusting.

But for some reason, Katsuki didn't eat. He reached into his bag and took out a pen. He then grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and began to write on it.

Izuku squinted his eyes to try and see what Katsuki was writing.

From the length of it, it seems to be a phone number? Maybe not. Oh my god, what is Kacchan writing?!

Izuku surveyed the room for any hot girls or guys that may have caught his attention. There were a few candidates. That purple-haired guy with huge eye-bags looked devastatingly handsome, and that girl clad in all pink (even her hair was dyed pink!) was so gorgeous, if Izuku was straight, he’ll probably stalk her instead.

However, Katsuki didn't approach any of the other tables. All he did was get up and walk toward the restrooms.

Again?

12:54 P.M.

➭ Kacchan is acting strangely.
➭ Deku’s status: about to find out if curiosity did kill the cat.

Once Izuku was sure that Katsuki had disappeared, he snuck up to his table. He noticed something strange when he got closer to it, though.

The two plates of waffles were placed facing each other. Each plate had a glass of water to its side.

The table was set for two people.

Izuku felt his heart breaking. Of course.

A date, Izuku realized with trepidation. Who would eat out alone? Katsuki was definitely waiting for a date.

It had been so obvious and Izuku had missed it.

12:57 P.M.
➭ Kacchan’s status: dating.
➭ Deku’s status: heartbroken.

If it hadn't been obvious to Izuku before, it was now.

There was nothing wrong with Bakugou Katsuki at all. And no matter how long or how closely Izuku followed him, there was not going to be anything wrong with him.

The longer Izuku stayed, the more he realized that Katsuki was all he ever wanted. But no matter how much he wanted, Izuku knew didn’t have a chance to be with Katsuki.

Mission: failed.

Ah. All hail unrequited love. It was time for Izuku to go home.

Just when Izuku was about to leave, the tissue that Katsuki had been scribbling on caught his eye. It sat innocently on the table. The handwriting on it was clear and neat.

It was not a phone number.

Izuku couldn’t believe what he was reading. The longer he stared at the note, the more his heart beat accelerated. And Izuku couldn’t breathe. This was not happening to him.

Curiosity: 1
Cat: 0

The message was short and sweet.

 

”Turn around.”