Since Music Station, Junsu couldn’t forget about what happened that day. He didn’t plan on developing feelings for someone, especially not a Japanese celebrity. And this month was already filled with stress; first, he would have two concerts at the Tokyo Dome, and then he and two of his bandmates would be suing SM Entertainment. Originally, Yunho and Changmin were suing as well, but they backed out, so there was a new stress added onto it; not only would he be leaving his Korean agency, but also his bandmates and his group. There was so much on his plate already, and this newfound crush just added to it. Maybe things would be easier if he had time to think about his feelings, but it was his--it was that man’s--birthday the next day.
Junsu's thoughts, however, were quickly interrupted by his bandmate. “Junsu,” Jaejoong, said. “Your order.”
“We’re at McDonald’s. What do you want?”
Junsu finally snapped out of it and realized Jaejoong was ordering at the drive-thru. “Oh. A Big Mac.”
Jaejoong shouted out Junsu’s order, and then drove to the pickup window. “Everything alright, Su?”
Junsu was reluctant to tell Jaejoong about his plans, especially because they had a concert the next day, but needed to talk to someone about it. “I have a party to go to tonight.”
“A birthday party. I’m really nervous about it.”
“Su, you can’t go to a party tonight. We have a concert tomorrow!”
“I know, but I really want to go.”
“Wait. Whose birthday is this?”
“Oh,” he hesitated telling his friend whose birthday it was, but decided he could trust Jaejoong. Ever since they started planning the lawsuit, they had gotten closer with each other, so he felt like he could tell Jaejoong almost anything. “It’s Gackt’s.”
“Holy shit. And you were invited?”
“Yeah. He invited me at Music Station. In the dressing room.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Can you bring a guest?”
“Yeah, he said each person can bring one guest with them.” He stopped speaking for a moment while Jaejoong paid for the food and handed it to him. “Wait. Hyung, you were against the party until you found out it was Gackt’s?”
“Listen. Gackt knows everybody. I’m sure ten years from now some Gackt fan and some Cassiopeia or BigEast member are going to come together, realize we were on Music Station together in 2009, and say, ‘Why is Gackt so omnipresent?’ That’s just how it is in this industry.”
“I don’t know what any of that means, but okay.”
“It means that Hyde will probably be there! And all my other visual kei bandmen! So please, Su, let me come with you.”
“Only if you help me pick out a gift," Junsu said, though he was relieved Jaejoong wanted to come with him. He didn't really know Gackt or anyone close to him, and they were all his seniors in the industry. But Jaejoong was a fan of a lot of people in Gackt's circle, so he hoped that would make him more comfortable at the party. "I know nothing about Gackt. What would he like?”
“Cute women, probably.” Junsu just glared at him. “Sorry! I kinda hate the guy, if I’m being honest. He left Malice Mizer!”
Junsu didn't expect his bandmate to lack that much self-awareness. “Hyung.”
“We’re suing SM in a few weeks. We’re going to have to leave Yunho and Changmin. And you’re judging Gackt for it?”
“You would understand if you were a fan of visual kei. You kind of… have to hate him.”
“No, I don’t think I would understand. One day, people might ‘have to hate’ us, too.”
“I’d rather not think about it. Anyways, you don’t have to get him a gift. The dude’s filthy rich. If he personally invited you after meeting you briefly one time, he probably just wants to see you.”
“Maybe you’re right. He said he wanted to meet with me privately.”
“Oh, honey. I’m definitely right. You are the birthday present.”
“If you had the chance to buy Hyde a gift I know you would get the most expensive thing you could get your hands on, but okay."
While Junsu was getting ready for the party, he couldn’t help but think about how nervous he was. Gackt told him that he wanted them to be alone together at the party, so Junsu wondered what he wanted. Also, he worried about whether he was right in not getting Gackt a gift. However, he hoped Gackt wouldn’t be expecting much, since he was invited only a few days before.
Jaejoong and Junsu finished getting ready and headed for the door. However, as they were going out Yunho, Yoochun, and Changmin were coming in. “Where are you two going at this hour?” Changmin asked.
Junsu found it difficult to make eye contact with the younger member; since he, Jaejoong, and Yoochun had been planning the lawsuit there was a ton of tension building in that house. “I was invited to a party, and Jaejoong is coming along with me.”
“Whose party is it?” Yoochun asked.
Junsu was afraid to answer, but he didn't want to just leave his bandmates in the dark. He didn't want to contribute to the tension between them, especially with the concert the next day. “Gackt’s birthday party.”
“Really?” Changmin replied. “It will probably be wild as hell. Don’t you two realize we have a concert tomorrow?” Before they could say anything, he continued. “What did I tell you, Yunho? They’ve got no contract spirit, absolutely none!” He walked into his room and slammed the door behind him, sending the four who were left into silence.
Yunho chuckled awkwardly. “He’s just joking around, guys. Don’t mind him. Just,” he paused for a moment, “make sure you don’t stay out too late. You’ll need energy for tomorrow.”
“Of course,” Jaejoong replied. “We have to make sure the concert is a ton of fun, because--.” Everyone knew what he wanted to say, but no one finished the sentence.
“Yeah. It will be great, I’m sure of it! Anyways, you two have fun tonight!”
As soon as they closed the door, Junsu let out a sigh. “Oof,” Jaejoong said.
“I really hope Changmin is okay. Yoochun seemed a little off too.”
“Don’t worry about them. You have to meet Gackt! And more importantly, I have to meet Hyde!”
“True.” Junsu tried to stop thinking about the lawsuit, and started driving to Gackt's house.
Junsu received a text from Gackt as soon as they parked near his house. “Meet me in my bedroom,” it read, followed by the English word “angle.” He didn’t know what he meant, but he just ignored it. He knew he had to go meet Gackt, but he was worried at first, so he decided he would stay with Jaejoong until he was comfortable.
When they got inside, Jaejoong acted like a child in a toy store, pointing out every celebrity he saw. Junsu knew it wouldn’t be long before his bandmate left him to go talk to someone, so he just waited for that to happen. “Isn’t that Kyo from Dir en Grey?” Jaejoong asked, looking at someone sitting at on one of the couches.
“I wouldn’t be able to tell you.” Just as Junsu expected, he felt a bit lost at the party. Unlike Jaejoong, he didn't know anybody.
“Who’s that with his arm around him?” Junsu looked closer, to see if he could get a glimpse at the other man. Before he got a chance to say anything, though, Jaejoong continued: “Oh my God bitch it’s Mao.”
And then, Jaejoong was gone.
Butterflies in his stomach, Junsu headed for the staircase. Before he could reach the second floor, however, he heard a voice behind him. “Junsu.” He turned around and saw Gackt wearing a tuxedo. “I told you to come to my room, but when you didn’t come right away I came to fetch you.”
“Oh, sorry. I just didn’t want to leave my bandmate alone.”
“So you brought a guest. Who is it?”
The lack of enthusiasm in Gackt's response worried Junsu. “You know him?”
“Yeah. Any chance he gets to speak with me, he asks me if I can put him in contact with Hyde. He did it the other day, actually. At Music Station."
“That sounds like Jaejoong alright.”
“Is that why you brought him here?”
“I just brought him because I didn’t want to come alone, but I think that’s who he’s hoping to meet.”
“Is Hyde here?”
“Of course he is, but I haven’t seen him. Enough about them, though. Let’s go inside.” Gackt opened the door for Junsu, and then motioned for him to sit on the bed. “Do you want anything to drink?"
Junsu wanted to ask for water, but figured Gackt meant alcohol. “No, thank you.” There was silence for a moment. “Oh! Happy birthday. Er, well, almost birthday.”
“Thanks. I'm really glad you could make the party. I was a bit worried, with your concert tomorrow and all.” There was silence for a moment. “You seem nervous. Do I make you nervous?”
Gackt asking if he made Junsu nervous made Junsu even more nervous, but he didn’t want to say it. “Gackt, why did you invite me here?”
“Why did you come?”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
Gackt took off his suit jacket and put it down on the side of the bed. “The answers are the same. Before Music Station, I looked into Tohoshinki, but of all the members you seemed the most interesting to me. But it wasn’t until I actually met you that I felt a connection. You felt it too, right?”
Gackt was right. Before they met in person, Junsu didn’t have much interest in him. However, there was something about him, something Junsu couldn’t describe, that drew Junsu to him, at least once they met. “Yes.”
“Then there you go. Fate brought us together, and we should just accept it.” Gackt took a sip of his champagne. “But that’s enough about me. A little birdie told me you have big plans for the end of this month.”
Surprisingly, Gackt somehow knowing about the lawsuit didn’t make him as nervous as him asking Junsu if he made him nervous did, but he was still worried that something leaked. “How do you know about that?”
“I know everything that goes on in this industry.” So that was what Jaejoong meant by "omnipresent." “So, are all of you suing your Korean agency?”
“No. That was originally the plan, but two of them changed their minds.”
“So what will happen to your group?”
“I don’t know. But chances are this means leaving them.”
“Yeah, probably. Are you worried about it?”
“Of course I am. They’re my friends, and I don’t want to hurt them by leaving. But also, this is something I need to do.”
“I get what you’re saying completely.”
“Because you left your group, right?”
“Yeah. I didn’t have to sue anyone to leave, though.” He chuckled.
“Was it hard?”
“Yes, for the same reasons you gave. Plus, there are a lot of people who really don’t like me for it. But to get what you want, you have to make sacrifices.”
“So you think I should go through with it?”
“Well, what do you want?”
“To get paid better. To have more freedom over my career. And some more work as a solo artist would be nice.”
“Oh, I heard you’re singing a solo song tomorrow. ‘Xiahtic,’ I think it’s called?”
“You heard about that, too?”
Gackt nodded. “I’ll be at the concert tomorrow, so I’ll hear it then." Junsu was surprised that Gackt was spending his actual birthday at their concert, but that also made him more nervous about it. Especially since he was spending the night before the concert at a party instead of resting. "But it would be nice to hear it in advance, too. As a birthday present.”
The thought of playing that song for Gackt made Junsu nervous, especially since it was so erotic. Still, he decided to go through with it. “Oh, I’ll play it for you. It’s on my MP3 player.”
“No, don’t play it for me. Sing it.” Before Junsu could respond, Gackt continued: “Well, you can do it later. When you’re a bit more,” Gackt took Junsu’s hand, “comfortable.” Once again, Gackt acknowledging how nervous Junsu was made him feel even more nervous, but he hoped the feeling of Gackt’s thumb stroking his hand would calm him down. “Anyways, what do the other two want to do?”
“If we can’t stay in Tohoshinki, form a new group. I want to do it too, but--.’
“--But you’re more interested in a solo career.”
Junsu sighed. This was the first time he was admitting it; he worried it was selfish. “Yeah.”
“Interesting. I feel like you have a lot of potential as a solo artist. If it’s what you really want, go for it.” Junsu was happy to hear Gackt, a man with more experience in this industry, validating his desire. “Anyways, I can’t wait to see how that lawsuit goes. The Korean music industry does a much better job of keeping their artists’ reputations clean. At least I think so, anyway.”
“Yeah. They try to avoid controversies as much as possible, and our contracts are really strict.”
“Well this lawsuit should shake things up a bit, then.” Gackt started stroking the other man’s hair. “And it seems the most interesting when it comes to you. Who are the other members suing SM?”
“Jaejoong and Yoochun.”
“Well, if I’m being honest they both seem like the type to get into trouble. But as for you, you’ve always been the cute, innocent one, right? ‘Angel Xiah.’”
“Yeah, that’s what they call me.”
Gackt smirked. “It sounds like a pornstar name. But on the surface, it does seem to fit. Your image is very pure and cute.”
“Well, I’ve been trying to get away from it.”
“I can tell. But that image is just what makes this lawsuit even more interesting. The innocent one, the angel, suing the biggest entertainment agency in South Korea. I'm excited to see how it goes.”
Gackt spoke so softly that Junsu had calmed down completely. “Oh! I almost forgot about Xiahtic. Do you still want to hear it?”
“Of course, angel.” Gackt unbuttoned the idol’s shirt while he sang, and then took off his own shirt.
When Junsu stopped singing, he started staring at the other man’s chest. “I see what you mean about straying from your innocent image,” Gackt said.
“Yeah.” Junsu was still completely focused on Gackt’s chest.
Gackt caught on and smirked at Junsu. “Oh, are you into it?”
“Do you work out?”
“Yeah. I love to work out, especially with my friends. You should join me one day. We could get you all nice and fit for your first solo music video. You would be like my sculpture. How does that sound, angel?”
“That sounds great. I would love to work out with you.”
Gackt sat on the bed next Junsu, and started stroking his calf. “Oof,” Junsu said, “ouch.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No. I’ve just been rehearsing a lot. For the concerts. We had that Music Station performance the other day, too So I’m feeling really sore.”
Junsu didn’t want Gackt to feel guilty for hurting him. “But I’ve gotten used to it, so it’s okay!”
“You’ve gotten used to feeling sore? Poor, tortured angel.” Gackt squeezed Junsu’s calf, causing the idol to moan. “That’s hot, though.”
“Please say sike,” Junsu replied weakly. However he agreed, with Gackt; it was hot. He didn’t really think he was a “poor, tortured angel;” he just wanted a better contract and especially a better pay. But still, the angel roleplay turned him on, so he didn’t stop Gackt from saying it.
“Don’t worry, my angel. You’ll be able to fly away soon, when you free yourself from the god you’ve been working for. So can’t you bear the pain for me, at least for tonight?” Junsu nodded. “Good boy. Now, that’s enough talking. I want to hear how that precious voice of yours sounds when I play with you.”
Junsu thought Gackt would continue stroking his calf, but the older man looked down at Junsu’s feet. “You have blisters, too.”
Junsu laid on his stomach, so his heels were facing Gackt. “Yeah, I’ve been dancing a lot, so--.”
Gackt touched a blister on Junsu’s left heel, causing him to moan before he could finish the sentence. “I told you to stop talking, didn’t I? Anyways, I’ll be careful not to burst it.” Gackt played with Junsu’s blister for a while. It hurt, but Junsu was into it, especially since Gackt would say, “poor angel,” after every moan Junsu let out.
Finally, Gackt moved on to the right heel. “You have a blister here too, but it already broke.”
“I know. It’s alright.”
“No, it’s not alright. What if it got infected with a flesh eating bacteria or something? You dance beautifully, so I would hate for something like that to happen. You need to take better care of yourself.”
“It’s alright, angel. This demon knows how to play nurse.” Gackt went into the bathroom for a moment, returned with a first-aid kit, and giggled a little as he said: “First, rubbing alcohol.” Junsu braced himself for the stinging, cold pain of the alcohol, but he still moaned and clenched the bedsheets when Gackt rubbed it on the open sore. “Angel, you’re moving too much. You need to relax so I can put the bandage on.”
Gackt touched the blister on Junsu’s left foot again, causing the idol to cry in pain. “You mean Nurse Gackt.”
“Sorry!” He relaxed his foot, and felt Gackt stick the bandage on. Thinking Gackt was done, he turned around so he was lying on his back.
“One more thing, angel.” Gackt picked up Junsu’s foot and kissed the bandage on his heel. Although Junsu thought the gesture was cute, he wished Gackt would kiss his actual skin, and felt embarrassed for being jealous of a bandage. “There. It’s all better.”
“Thank you, Nurse Gackt.”
“Ah, cute.” Now that he was done playing with Junsu’s blisters, he stared at Junsu’s crotch. “I’m glad you’re enjoying this.” Junsu became embarrassed when Gackt pointed out how hard he was, but there was no point in hiding it now. Gackt laid down next to Junsu, and put his arm around him. “Do you want me to fuck you?”
It seemed so direct, but Junsu didn’t care anymore. “Yes. Please fuck me.”
“Sorry, my angel. I’m not going to be the one to corrupt you. I want you to stay an angel until the lawsuit. Once you leave your agency, once there’s no one clipping your wings, will you use them to fly to the heavens? Or will the lawsuit corrupt your image, and get you sent to hell with me? I’m excited to find out.”
Junsu decided to join in the angel roleplay now. “Even if I don’t fall from the heavens, even if I stay an angel after everything, I would use my wings to fly to you.”
“Oh, that’s a bit dramatic. We just met the other day.”
“But weren’t you the one who said we were fated to meet? That we have a connection?”
“Yes, but that connection isn’t necessarily romantic. Maybe we were just fated to meet at this one party. Maybe we’ll fuck a few times and that will be it. Or perhaps there is something more to it.”
“What if I don’t care about fate? I’m freeing myself from my contract and risking falling to hell already, so I might as well free myself from fate too. You’re a demon, aren’t you? So why do you care what fate says?” Junsu was feeling a bit courageous, so he kissed Gackt. The taste of champagne almost made him pull away, but the warmth of the older man’s lips kept him there.
“Oh, that’s hot,” Gackt responded once their lips separated. He got on top of Junsu, and held Junsu’s hands in his. “I see now why they call you guys idols. I can understand why someone would want to worship such a beautiful angel like you.”
Junsu wanted to continue the divine imagery, but the only thing that could come to mind were Bible quotes from when he used to go to church with his mother. “The First Commandment says, ‘You shall not have no false idols before me.’ Don’t sin for me, Gackt.”
“Don’t forget, my angel. I’m already a demon. I don’t like gods very much, but you seem like one that’s worth worshipping.” He kissed Junsu this time, this kiss lasting longer than the first.
Junsu got excited because Gackt seemed way more into it now and he hoped he might actually get some. Even if he didn’t, though, the kisses that Gackt was now him with were enough, and the hickey Gackt left on his chest added some pain that he had been missing since Gackt played nurse. However, before it could go on any further, Junsu got a phone call. “You should answer that,” Gackt said as he handed the phone to him.
Junsu read the caller ID and answered. “Hyung?”
“Where are you? Changmin is gonna kill us if we don’t get home soon.”
“Shit, you’re right. I completely forgot about the concert tomorrow!”
“Tsk tsk tsk,” Gackt said as he started putting his shirt back on. “You better not ruin that concert for me, angel. Tomorrow’s my actual birthday, after all.”
“Just get down here and drive us home!" Jaejoong shouted through the phone. "I’ll be waiting outside.”
“Alright, I’m coming!” Junsu hung up, and started putting his shirt back on. “Sorry, Gackt.”
Gackt got down on the floor, and started putting Junsu’s shoes back on. “It’s alright, my angel. We’ll have plenty of chances to meet, especially since I’ve been thinking of switching agencies and joining Avex. And we have to exercise together.”
“I’ll walk you to the door.”
When they got to the door, Gackt opened it for Junsu. Just as he said in the phone call, Jaejoong was waiting at the doorstep. “Oh, hello Gackt,” he said. “Happy birthday.”
Gackt only smiled in response. “Junsu, I’ll be watching you tomorrow.”
“I know. I hope you enjoy the concert. Good night!”
“Drive safe.” Gackt closed the door, and the other two started walking for the car.
“So did you see Hyde?” Junsu asked.
Jaejoong sighed as he opened the car door. “Yeah, but he was so busy. Always surrounded by people. So I didn’t really talk to him.”
“Oh, that sucks.” Junsu was surprised that, from the sounds of it, he ended up having a better night than Jaejoong, even though Jaejoong was surrounded by his idols.
“It's alight. I did get to talk to some people, so it wasn't a total loss. Anyways, what were you and Gackt up to?”
To Junsu's relief, Jaejoong interrupted him: “--On second thought, I don’t wanna know.”
Before bed, Junsu reflect on what happened at the party. He was expecting more to happen; Gackt didn’t seem like the type of guy who would only play with a few blisters and make out. But somehow, it still felt like an eventful night. He was excited to see what would happen with the lawsuit now, because he knew the "omnipresent" Gackt would be paying attention. His descent into hell seemed imminent, but at least he knew there was a demon waiting for him there.