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BNHA x (F)Reader Textfic (Mostly meme)

Chapter Text

Y/N:
I'm starting a petition.

Ashido:
What kind?

Y/N:
About Katsuki's ass.

Bakugou:
WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU STARING AT MY ASS GET AWAY FROM ME YOU GOLD SWORD

Todoroki:
Gold? Gold is very beautiful. Is that a compliment to L/N?

Bakugou:
EW NO

Y/N:
As I was saying... My petition is about Katsuki's ass.

Midoriya:
Kacchan's...ass????

Y/N:
Kacchan's ass is not thicc.

Yaoyorozu:
What's the point in a petition?

Y/N:
To make Kacchan's ass thicc.

Bakugou:
That.... MMMMMMMM THAT NAME STOP ITTTTTTT

Y/N:
ㅠㅠ Kacchan don't hurt meeeeee

Bakugou:
I SAID S T O P

Midoriya:
kACCHAN STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Y/N:
Katsuki.

Bakugou:
Yes baby? ♡

Y/N:
OH MY SKSKSKSK

Bakugou:
SOMEONE TOOK MY PHONE YOU DUMB FUCK YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD

Y/N:
:(

Y/N:
Todoroki is my new daddy >;(

Todoroki:
I never agreed to adoption?

Kaminari:
I can't even.

Y/N:
OOP DADZAWA JUST CAUGHT ME TEXTING Y'ALL GOTTA ZOOM

Bakugou:
What? Does? That?? Mean???

Chapter Text

Y/N:
TODO DADDY WHERE YOU AT

Mineta:
Woooooooah

Y/N:
SHUSH

Todoroki:
Hello L/N...

Y/N:
FOUND THE ADOPTION CERTIFICATES

Todoroki:
You really want me to be your father?

Y/N:
no

Y/N:
WE'RE ADOPTING A BABY, DUMMY

Todoroki:
Sorry, but no thanks.

Midoriya:
L/N, are you okay?

Y/N:
nooooooope

Bakugou:
ARE YOU HIGH

Y/N:
No >;( i only took my inhaler

Bakugou:
...you dumbass. It was a joke.

Y/N:
I love you :))))

Bakugou:
Ew

Ashido:
I love you, L/N!

Y/N:
Oh my fucking goodness, M i d o r i y a I f o u n d i t !

Midoriya:
HE ADOPTED HIM?!

Uraraka:
Sorry...who?

Y/N:
WE HAD A JOKE THAT MR STARK ADOPTED PETER AND I FOUND THE ADOPTION CERTIFICATE XD

Bakugou:
Don't make jokes about dead people, it's rude.

Hagakure:
And YOU say that...

Y/N:
Oop forgot a spoiler warning

Y/N:
I'm gonna add some lit kids into the chat!!!!!!

Yaoyorozu:
Okay.

[ Y/N added Dabi, Hado, Shinsou, Amajiki, Aizawa, Monoma, Toga, Shigaraki, and Togata. ]

Dabi:
I'm not a kid >:((((

Toga:
Y/N MY BABYYYYYYY

Y/N:
HIMI-CHAN HIII

Dabi:
Okay then.

Midoriya:
L/N you cheated on me??? With Toga??? ㅠㅠ

Y/N:
Sorry bb

Ashido:
Bakugou is gonna be first to see her ass and we all know it >;(

Bakugou:
What the hell is wrong with you—

Midoriya:
KACCHAN! LANGUAGE!

Bakugou:
Fuck you :))

Y/N:
Fuck me.

Bakugou:
Okay

Bakugou:
Wait what

Chapter Text

Ashido:
He fancies her

Kirishima:
What?! NO

Kaminari:
We all see how you look at her.

Kirishima:
I know.

Sero:
He looks at her with his EYES, Denki.

Ashido:
Wait hold up

Jirou:
Huh?

Ashido:
Let me steal Kirishima's phone and text her xD

[ ↓ Private chat with Kirishima ↓ ]

Kirishima:
거기 너 I fancy you

Y/N:
아무나 원하지 않아

Y/N:
Hey I love you

Kirishima:
Really?

Y/N:
Love ya ♡

Kirishima:
Love you too...

Y/N:
그래 너 I fancy you 꿈처럼 행복해도 돼

Kirishima:
Huh?

Y/N:
'Cause I need you

Kirishima:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Y/N:
This is so funny, oh my goodness...

Kirishima:
What is?!

Y/N:
You tried to lyric prank me but I just did it to you. ♡ :)

Kirishima:
THAT WASN'T ME DKSKSKDJFJDBSBX IT WAS ASHIDO

Y/N:
Awhhhhhhh thats sad :(((

[ ↓ Class group chat ↓ ]

Ashido:
It worked... wHEEZE...

Kaminari:
Woah!

Ashido:
I'm a god

Kaminari:
Oh y e s

Sero:
Ashido, our lord and savior... Forgive my sins...

Ashido:
Nope.

Sero:
Cries

Ashido:
Pfft

Kaminari:
Pp

Kaminari:
Sorry autocorrect

Ashido:
Mk

Chapter Text

[ Dekusquad chat ]

Todoroki:
I know this might sound crazy, but...

Midoriya:
Hm?

Todoroki:
Remember when L/N called Aizawa "Dadzawa"?

Midoriya:
Not this again... But yes...

Uraraka:
We've never seen her house before. She's been with Eri and Togata a lot recently...

Midoriya:
She's with them right now.

Todoroki:
Maybe Aizawa adopted L/N. She has been talking about adoption.

Midoriya:
Oh yeah!

Uraraka:
And Eri doesn't call L/N by her hero name...

Midoriya:
...She calls her sis...

Uraraka:
Holy heck...

Todoroki:
So... My theory is correct?

Iida:
How have you NOT figured it out by now?!

Todoroki:
What?

Iida:
She lives with Aizawa-sensei! Not in the dorm! She babysits Eri so often! Its obvious that Aizawa is her father.

Asui:
Yes. It's an adoptive relationship.

Todoroki:
But why am I her father if Aizawa is?

Uraraka:
IIDA DON'T TELL HIM...

Midoriya:
Wha?

Asui:
You, sweet, sweet, innocent, children...

Uraraka:
This is really sad...

Iida:
Todoroki, you're not her father. It's a sexual thing.

Todoroki:
Excuse me?

Midoriya:
What???

Uraraka:
IIDA WHY ㅠㅠ

Asui:
Iida!

Iida:
He wanted to know.

Todoroki:
L/N thinks about me in that way?

Uraraka:
We all do it's not something new

Todoroki:
Excuse me?

Chapter Text

Kaminari:
Creeper

Y/N:
Aw man

Ashido:
So

Iida:
STOP TEXTING THE CHAT AT 2 AM!

Bakugou:
Frick you...

Sero:
Creeper

Kirishima:
Aw man

Y/N:
So we back in the mine,

Hagakure:
Got our pickaxe

Uraraka:
Swinging from

Kaminari:
Side to side

Sero:
Side side

Midoriya:
To side

Bakugou:
SHUT THE FUCK UP DEKU.

Midoriya:
AHHH KACCHAN SORRY!

Ashido:
BAKUGOUUUUUU

Sero:
YOU RUINED IT FNMDKSK

Bakugou:
YOU RUINED MY SLEEP SO STFU

Asui:
Creeper

Mineta:
Asui looks like a creeper... So thicc

Yaoyorozu:
STOP

Kaminari:
Creeper

Ashido:
Creeper

Jirou:
Awh man

Tokoyami:
So we're back into the mine

Ashido:
Got our pickaxe!

Kirishima:
Swinging from

Yaoyorozu:
Side

Jirou:
Side

Uraraka:
Side

Kaminari:
Side

Sero:
Side

Iida:
... To side

Shoji:
Side side to side

Kaminari:
This task a gueling one

Iida:
Grueling* Sorry.

Kirishima:
NNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG IIDA WHY

Midoriya:
IIDA!!!!!!!!!!

Ashido:
You know what, frick this... We'll never get it...

Togata:
Never give up!

Ashido:
EEK WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHY ARE YOU IN MY WALL

Midoriya:
TOGATA-SENPAI WHY DID YOU DO THIS? D:

Y/N:
wtf lmao who's this togata and why is he your senpai

Ashido:
[Image]

Y/N:
but he cute tho

Shigaraki:
I'm trying to rob a bank. But the sound of my phone vibrating is alerting the guards.

Midoriya:
I'm calling all might on you

Shigaraki:
Don't you fucking dare.

Midoriya:
He is here

Dabi:
Fuck this shit I'm out

Amajiki:
...what is this...

Hagakure:
Wait a minute! You've got it all wrong! L/N-chan, YOU added these people! And yet you "didn't know" who Togata is? GASP! Was it an excuse to get a picture of him?!

Y/N:
no

Hagakure:
Then what is it?!

Y/N:
Just the author being a dumbass lmfao

Shoji:
That will cost you a lot of your money.

Y/N:
my w h a t

Chapter Text

Midoriya:
L/N hasn't been at school lately... What's going on?

Iida:
She's in the hospital. Have you not heard the news?

Todoroki:
Everyone at school has been crying. How have you not noticed?

Bakugou:
What a fucking dumbass.

Ashido:
Someone has been bullying L/N, and she tried to...

Midoriya:
...

Midoriya:
I remember now.

Midoriya:
I was with her.

Chapter Text

Uraraka:
You're joking, right...?

Togata:
... Amajiki hasn't been at school either ...

Midoriya:
...

Yaoyorozu:
Midoriya, did you do something?

Midoriya:
He's injured...

Toga:
What?

Midoriya:
Suneater is also in the hospital...

Togata:
Why?

Midoriya:
...He tried to save her...

Midoriya:
He couldn't.

Chapter Text

They'd arrived. It was quiet. Rain pouring. The green-haired male was walking through the hospital hallways, emotionless. Two people were accompanying him. Uraraka Ochako was sobbing... Todoroki Shouto tried to stay calm.

Finally, after what felt like years, they arrived at the room. Opening the door, Uraraka's eyes widened. L/N was asleep. There were bandages on her arms, to cover the many cuts. Somehow, Amajiki was awake. It was a miracle, to be honest. Once the purple-haired boy saw Izuku, his face changed to anger.

"What happened?!" The freckled boy asked, pretending to be worried. It was a lie. The green-haired boy was a liar.

The angry male was not in good condition. He had a deep stab wound in his shoulder. It was covered in bandages. Wonder how he got it...

"Y-You know what happened..." Tamaki muttered, glaring at Midoriya.

"No I don't!" Deku yelled.

"Bullshit! You did this!" Suneater rolled up his sleeve, so that his shoulder was visible. "You tried to kill me... You made her try to kill herself... She might not live!" He was frightened of this social interaction, but he was beyond angered. After he'd yelled, Uraraka and Todoroki stepped back.

"Someone, just tell me the story of what happened!!" Uraraka cried out. Someone entered the room. It was Bakugou. He told the story.

**

L/N was walking up to the rooftop, shaking slightly and crying. One of her friends betrayed her, and started bullying her. Little did she know, he was there. Watching. Smiling.

The H/C girl went to go jump off of the roof... When someone yelled.

"W-Wait! Don't do it...!" A certain purple-haired male called out to her. His attempt to save her was unsuccessful. He was stopped by the green-eyed boy. Deku pulled out a knife, and stabbed Tamaki in the shoulder, before pushing him off the roof.

There were multiple witnesses. Bakugou Katsuki had overheard it all from the hallway... But Kirishima Eijirou had saw the two fall. The red-haired boy was walking around, heading home... When there was yelling, and he saw two people fall. His body wouldn't let him move. He was completely traumatized.

But time skipping, yeehaw.

Back to the point.

Two weeks later.

Chapter Text

Y/N
WASSUP FUCKERS

Y/N
WE'RE OUT OF THE HOSPITAL YAYAYA

Midoriya
YAY

Asui
Finallyyyyy

Uraraka
YES HAAAAAA

Y/N
I'm still in pain tho

Bakugou
Good.

Y/N
Bitxh fuxk off

Bakugou
Uhm.

[ Y/N is offline . ]

Chapter Text

[Private chatroom with Midoriya]

Y/N
Soo... midoriya.

Midoriya
Yes?

Y/N
Is it true?

Midoriya
Is what true?

Y/N
The rumours.

Midoriya
WHAT RUMOURS-

Y/N
You're dating lightning mcqueen.

Midoriya
Um...

[Midoriya is offline.]

Y/N
Damn you really gotta do me like that?

[Y/N is offline.]

Chapter Text

[Bakusquad + L/N Group Chat]

Bakugou
I hate ALL of you.

[Y/N is online.]

Y/N
Even me?

Bakugou
Shut up.

Kaminari
OOOOOOO BAKUGOU LIKES THE CUTIE

Ashido
OOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashido
L/N BAKUGOU DOESN'T HAVE COOTIES IF YOU WANNA ;))

Y/N
LMAOAOAOAOAOOO YEAH

Bakugou
What-

Y/N
Oop sorry

Bakugou
TAKE THAT BACK

Sero
bro you guys are dumb.... bakugou has cooties. kirishima told me.

Kaminari
Bro WHAT

Kirishima
sHHHHHHHHHHHHH SERO SHUT UP

Y/N
You're too loud

Bakugou
How-

Y/N
im gonna sksksk

Bakugou
Don't you dare.

Y/N
*sksksk's out of the chat*

[Y/N is offline.]

Bakugou
Bye extras.

[Bakugou is offline.]

Ashido
Wait a minute

Kirishima
Yeah?

Ashido
do you guys think she went to fuck bakugou

Kirishima
Well, I mean, Bakubro just left.

Ashido
OMG

Kirishima
Holy shit they're gonna fuck

Ashido
dammit bakugou beat me to it

Sero
F

Kaminari
F

Kirishima
F

Ashido
welp

[Ashido is offline.]

Kaminari
Hey SEROOO

Sero
Yeah?

Kaminari
It's just us here ;)

[Kirishima is offline.]

Kaminari
.

Sero
.

Kaminari
WELL IT'S *REALLY* JUST US HERE NOW

[Jirou is offline.]

Kaminari
Aight I'mma head out

[Kaminari is offline.]

[Sero is offline.]

Chapter Text

[Private chatroom with Bakugou.]

Y/N
Like I'm Bakugou

Bakugou
you idiot, you're not me wtf

Y/N
Turn they soul to friggin smoke

Bakugou
THAt'S NOT EVEN PROPER GRAMMAR-

Y/N
Okay boomer

Bakugou
OH?! YOU WANNA FIGHT?!

Y/N
YES RAT!!

Bakugou
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ISTG

Y/N
Please do T_T

Bakugou
Well, now I don't want to do it.

Y/N
I-

Chapter Text

[Y/N is online.]

Y/N
GUYS THERE'S A WEIRD GOAT MAN IN MY DREAMS!!!

[Bakugou is online.]
[Midoriya is online.]
[Uraraka is online.]

Bakugou
is it deku?

Uraraka
be nice bkg >:(

Bakugou
be rich urk

Midoriya
:(

Bakugou
lmao

Y/N
NO, No! Don't hurt my prECIOUS BABY LIKE THAT BAKUGOU HUEWIUGHBJKI

Bakugou
ew kinky lmao

Y/N
>:(

Uraraka
um,,, ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

Y/N
But like, I'm scared. IS HE GOING TO EAT ME?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Midoriya
Oh, shit. Are you alright, L/N?

Y/N
Mhm, perfectly fine :)

Midoriya
That's good :D

Bakugou
ew you two are disgusting

Uraraka
that was rude bkg!

[Bakugou is offline.]
[Kirishima is online.]

Kirishima
Hey bros

Midoriya
Oh, hi Kirishima.

Kirishima
What'd I miss? I was training, sorry.

[Kirishima has sent an image.]

Uraraka
koimg ighdfznf

[Bakugou is online.]

Bakugou
SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

[Bakugou is offline.]
[Uraraka is offline.]

Y/N
AAaaaaaaand now I'm lonely.

Y/N
But nice picture Kirishima, you've improved a lot!

Kirishima
Thanks, L/N.

Y/N
I should probably go sign up for therapy now..

Kirishima
WHat?! Why?!

Midoriya
L/N, are you okay?!

Y/N
It's l uc i o

[Kaminari is online.]

Kaminari
sry, who?

[Y/N has sent an image.]

Y/N
He looks kinda like thaaat...

Kaminari
hot would smash

Y/N
KAMINARI!!!!! WTF zBHjghngajkf

Midoriya
Aaand she's having a seizure... -.-"

Kirishima
WOAH!!! I'll be there ASAP!

Y/N
Nono, Kirishima, I'm fine!

Kirishima
Thank goodness.

Y/N
Wait- what time is it? And where's my boy Iida T-T

Midoriya
It's 22:41, L/N...

Kirishima
That's why Iida isn't awake, LOL.

Y/N
Wait wHY WAS BAKU AWAKEEEE

Y/N
KATSUKI YOU MEANIE GO TO BED IT'S PAST OUR BEDTIME REE

[Bakugou is online.]

Bakugou
'our'???

Bakugou
since when-

Y/N
Whoops.

Y/N
Welp, gotta blast! kami wanted to play sonic adventure 2 with him tomorrow and it's past MY** bedtime. {Lmao ily bye brat}

Bakugou
.

[Y/N is offline.]
[Bakugou is offline.]

Midoriya
Seems suspicious.

Kirishima
Uh-huh...

Kaminari
WTF? there's nothing wrong - we just like to play good games together!!!!

Kirishima
Uh..

Midoriya
ACK OMG It's almost 23:00, gotta sleep! I have an important trip tomorrow! Bye!

Kirishima
Alrighty.

Kaminari
bye bro

[Midoriya is offline.]

Kirishima
We should probably be heading off to bed too, y'know? Or we could talk in PM's.

Kaminari
nah, i need sleep huehueh

[Kaminari is offline.]

Kirishima
Aight.

[Kirishima is offline.]