Walking into the arena-like dome made your chest tighten. Now it was real and training would begin. It wasn't going to be easy to get your stiff muscles loosened again but the biggest hurdles you saw were the mental ones. A cheetah easily described you physically. You weren't extremely strong, but most of your fighting ability was centered around agility, hard hits, and a reserved fighting style.
Some of your biggest weaknesses centered around low defense, low stamina and vulnerability to strong physical attacks. Sure, you could tank a few hits but would take damage, but if you managed to be faster than your opponent, then you had the upper ground.
The clearing of a throat caused you to shake free from your thoughts, looking over to Aizawa who had taken the liberty of grabbing out protective gear. Simple thin padding for your joints and hands, and a note pad. It confused you why he had grabbed a pen and paper. As if sensing your confusion, the teacher explained.
"Every time I beat you at something, to improve, I want you to write down what you did wrong and why I beat you."
"Physical strength and combat come before Quirk practice. You must be physically strong to be mentally strong."
Handing the items to you, you nodded, you tugged on the padding and made a safe place for the note pad.
Just as you were about to tie your hair back more securely, your teacher snapped his fingers and gestured for you to stop. Looking towards him and pausing your movements, you furrowed your brows in confusion. Had you done something wrong?
"When you use your power, it flows throughout your body. It also engulfs your hair and seems to create a slight buffer between your head and the enemy."
"I want you to use that as an advantage when you aren't in hero gear. Sometimes there is no time for changing clothes, you need to get used to having your hair down."
It was a smart idea, giving yourself another extra advantage when fighting without protection, it would potentially save your life. When fighting, from what your two current guardians had said, your corruption spread into your hair and caused it to float as if you were underwater. If they tried to land a headshot the corrupted liquid would coat them, giving you the upper hand regardless. Unless they managed to completely take your guard down or knock you out.
Shaking your hair free, the large unruly waves bounced and fell messily. You cared less for how you looked, that wouldn't matter when in battle so you decided to not let it be a part of the training either. Placing one hand against the joint of your adjacent shoulder, massaging the muscle to loosen it, Aizawa gave tips and tricks. From how to stretch effectively to avoid injury, how to cool the muscles after training, when and how to use physical strength against foes with quirks. Things that you hastily scribbled in the note pad so you wouldn't forget them, your cursive handwriting a product of forging expensive handwriting during your criminal days.
"What is your experience with fighting."
Aizawa asked the question in a way that made your heart rate pick up. It was both a genuine question to know how much you'd learn but... also how much you could take. Swallowing thickly, you thought back to everything you had done in a fight.
"I know the basics, like blocks, grabs, and punches. How not to break my hands, I also have dodges and foot positioning well versed. They uh... didn't let me fight often, not that I wanted to but-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Aizawa aimed towards you but opened handed as if to smack you. Without having the chance to react, his hand made contact with your shoulder in a chopping motion. Though it wasn't a smack or a punch, it still hurt like hell. Stepping back to be away from him you barked out at him, a bit pissed he'd done that while you were trying to answer his question.
"What the hell! I was just trying to answer-"
Raising his hand to stop you from speaking, he gestured to the note pad once more.
"Why was I able to land a hit. Don't tell me. Write it."
Eraserhead had gone from friendly to teacher mode very quickly. Grumbling while rubbing your shoulder, you kneeled to write in the notebook. He had let you get distracted before attacking, and it seemed you got distracted a lot. Focusing would be important in the future, embarrassing as it was, you were fine with writing down notes. Standing once more, you fought the pout itching to form and simply went back to where you were standing.
Getting into position once more with your knees slightly bent and arms in a stance to protect yourself, Aizawa waited for you to nod before he did the same. His body moved fast, aiming to attack the same way but this time you kicked yourself away from where he was coming. Though just as you landed slightly out of reach, one of his feet kicked a leg out from under you sending you onto your ass with a thump.
"You have to think one step ahead and not just in the moment, [Y/F/N]."
Heat was building in your face both from irritation and embarrassment. Part of you wanted to hide in the shadows and not be seen for the failure you were being at the moment, but the stubborn side of you persisted. Crawling to the note pad, your handwriting got messier as you quickly wrote down what had happened. Rushing to your feet, and getting back into a stance with a huff, you began again.
The process of getting farther and farther only to be taken down again was infuriating. Body scraped and bruised slightly, not even having made contact with your teacher, you grumbled. The note pad flipped to the second page, dust and sweat mixing to make you feel grimy. Two hours of training so far and the sun had finally come up, coming in from the glass dome. Now the area was hot and stuffy, uncomfortable.
Heaving, you caught your breath for a moment as All Might brought water to both you and Aizawa. The man, though wearing black, barely seemed bothered by the activity and heat. Chugging a good portion of the bottle before placing it to your forehead, the blonde hero gave you a thumbs up of encouragement. Wiping the sweat from your brow, it was time to start again. Getting into position before he threw his attacks once more.
Now you had managed to dodge the shoulder, leg, chest and abdomen attacks, but suddenly his hand swung out and smacked you across the face. It sent you tumbling to the ground where the rocks scratched your face and palms.
The raven-haired man's voice sounded muffled as if he were underwater, your body shaking and sight blurred. Reaching to touch your cheek where it felt cold as ice, you looked at your hand when pulling it away and saw crimson. The sight caused a ringing in your ears, only a heartbeat thumping through your mind. Images of the way you found your parents plagued you.
You could tell by the way Aizawa stepped back when you looked at him showed you were losing control again. Burning and tingling forming on your hands as your hair floated and drifted as you moved. Black tears dripped and sizzled upon contact to the ground, causing spikes to glitch from the spots
You could feel your control slipping from your mind, fuzzy static filling your head and causing your body to tingle. Corruption built at your hands and feet, almost coming from the scars on your skin. Scleras both completely blackened now, each iris contrasting the darkness like lights in the night. Though, you fought the emotions that fractured through you, your hands gripping either side of your head, almost dropping to your knees but managing to stay upright.
You could feel yourself mumbling something repeatedly, rapidly as the taller hero made his way towards you.
All Might quickly stepped between you and Aizawa, his strong hands gripping your shoulders as he spoke to you. Careful not to touch your corruption, he lifted your chin to look him in the eyes. Slowly he began tactics to calm panic attacks.
A confused and distressed expression covered your face, a blank look in your eyes before he rubbed your arms softly. Making you look at him, he mimicked the action of taking deep slow breathes, so you began to do so. The actions seemed to calm you a bit, his words completely muffled, the symbol of peace pulled you closer into a hug as your corruption died down. As your hearing returned to normal and the heartbeat faded, your body trembled and nearly gave out.
Catching you, All-Might looked towards his friend who seemed both worried for you but concerned for your ability to train. Gently you were sat back and given cold water before you finally became aware enough to notice your teacher tending your wounded cheek after a few minutes.
"Aizawa-sensei I'm sorry I didn't mea-"
Once again he interpreted with a stern look, his voice both frustrated but holding a gentle tone towards the end.
"When were you going to tell me you have PTSD and Panic Attacks?"
You hissed as he touched the wound with alcohol, not letting you see the red which stained the cotton ball. PTSD? Panic attacks? You didn't have those, what was he talking about. It had just been a mistake, you let yourself get too riled up with your emotions and it caused an issue. You weren't going to add another thing onto the list of everything going wrong. Nothing more. You could handle it better going forward you were sure of it.
"I don't have anything like that, I'm fine. I just got too carried away and got frustrated, it won't happen again sir."
Though your voice sounded tired, you believed what you said before the man sighed in irritation.
"Emotional outbursts, outbursts connected to specific sights, smells, tastes or sounds, intense sadness, panic attacks, and anxiety. All symptoms of panic attacks and trauma and all symptoms you exhibit."
Trying to take in all the information, he began to put away the safety kit he'd gotten, and his next words made you mortified and ashamed.
"What happened last night, was a panic attack, [Y/F/N]. You can't keep important things like this from me or I can't help you."
Aizawa's eyes held a softness you hadn't seen before, almost as if he knew how it felt. And it clicked, the reason he didn't like reporters, the reason he lived alone far from people. He knew all too well of panic and fear, and as a result, knew how you felt. A pain no one could see, and one that struck without warning.
Feeling your eyes water, your bottom lip trembled. You could feel the shaking of your hands and you played with them, your voice doing so as well.
"I don't w-want another obstacle... I just want to make things right but it feels like something new happens every time I try."
You spit out the words as sadness began to filter in, having not let yourself explain it, now the feelings registered. Though you'd wanted to just explain what was wrong, it was like talking about it made you cry even though you tried to force it down.
"I'm just so sad! I miss my parents, I made them disappointed for so long and now that I have a quirk it's so damaging and terrible. I am exactly what both of them hated, a villain, and I don't want to be like this. My powers are evil and I feel like maybe I'm destined to be and I'm scared!"
Both of the heroes looked towards each other in sympathy and worry. Aizawa pulled you close, making sure to keep your tears away from him but still consoling you as a father would. Sobbing, they let you ramble on and on about all the worries and fears you had.
How you didn't want to be a Mary Sue in life where everything went wrong but you somehow fixed it in the end. You just wanted to fix what you'd done wrong and for things to not go bad. Having a wild adventure of you fixing all problems while being a tragic sad hero wasn't something you wanted. Happiness is what you wanted, and redemption.
It didn't make you feel like a magically good person because you persevered through the bad. Agony ripped at your chest constantly and you wanted nothing more than to get rid of it so the pain would stop. You didn't want to be the selfless hero who struggles with themselves but saves others, you wanted to learn to handle the issues inside and help. Being stable and confident is what you wanted.
Crying at everything, being cold and quiet, failing at everything... you didn't want that to define you. Change is what was needed and you knew that.
"Well, it seems that emotional training is where we should start. We have a few months, four to be exact until you have to take the exam. I want you to focus on general studies and we'll save fighting for later."
Your caretaker cradled your head now, petting your hair in an attempt to calm you. Aizawa was fatherly, made you feel safe and as you could change. Though he was hard on you, you needed it.
"You'll be ready by the time the Sports Festival comes, it will give us time to focus on your mental health first-"
Looking towards All Might who spoke, your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. A puff of smoke cleared and All Might seemingly became sickly thin and hunched over. Shrieking you scrambled away on your butt and pointed at him and then looked towards Aizawa who facepalmed. Sputtering you looked between the two and back, All Might scrambled to explain before coughing up blood which made you shriek even more in confusion.
The two had a lot of explaining to do, again.