Chapter 1: A Proposal
“What do you think about having a fling?”
Spock eyed him over the top of his frothy tropical mocktini. They were sitting in a booth at their favorite watering hole, a place they’d been meeting for drinks every Friday after classes at the Academy since Jim had enrolled two years prior. Spock, of course, had been there a year already.
Spock shrugged. “I am not opposed to them. I had a few myself when I first arrived in San Francisco while you were still on Vulcan.”
Spock took a long sip of his mocktini. “Why, Jim? Are you thinking of having one?”
James Tiberius Kirk leaned back against the vinyl booth, clutching his wine glass. He should have guessed Spock wouldn’t make this easy. Spock never made anything easy.
They’d known each other the better chunk of their lives, quite literally. The Kirks had moved on to Vulcan shortly after Winona’s divorce from Frank Taylor and lived in a home next door to her old friend, Amanda Grayson, who had married Sarek, a Vulcan. It had been Amanda and Sarek who had suggested the fresh start for Winona and her sons.
For Jim it had been the best decision she could have made. And eventually Sam had settled in as well. In fact so much so that Sam was now married to a Vulcan woman and expecting their first child, a boy. Sam wanted to name the boy, Peter, but so far his wife, T’Via, had disapproved.
Jim and Spock had immediately taken to each other and became the best of friends. Inseparable during their school years and beyond.
And if Jim was a little more logical than your average Human and Spock was a little more illogical than your average Vulcan, it worked for them. Everyone at home knew Spock and Kirk and everyone at the Academy too.
So when Jim came out as gay for the first time in his teen years, it had, logically, been to Spock. And only a year later Spock had admitted to Jim that he was bisexual. Though they’d never become intimate with each other, they’d nursed each other through various serious and not so serious relationships. Spock’s admittedly, mostly with female, though not entirely, but since Jim didn’t intend to suggest any sort of serious relationship that point was entirely irrelevant.
When Spock had decided to forgo the Vulcan Science Academy for Starfleet, Jim had naturally followed, and had been met with some of the same disapproval from the Vulcan Council, who had declared his acceptance into their Academy, when he’d been Human, had been quite unusual, and should not be easily dismissed. Jim had, logically he thought, explained that he agreed, but that since his focus would be on commanding a starship rather than sciences, it made sense for him to cultivate the acceptance there.
At Starfleet, Spock focused, logically on science, and Jim on navigation and command. They each had an apartment at the same building, the Archwood, only a couple of blocks over from the Academy.
Over the years they got the usual ‘joined at the hip’ comments. Jim was used to them. And though they were closer than most brothers, what he was about to propose had never ever come up between them before.
“I’ve had flings before too,” Jim replied. Prior to arriving in San Francisco, his sexual experiences, though admittedly quite limited, had all been with Vulcans. That was no longer the case. For a moment he concentrated on watching the red wine swirl in his glass as he contemplated the wisdom of going forward with his plan. He’d been rehearsing this for days. Since the prior Friday when he’d originally planned to propose it. But that old saying, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ was created for a reason, Jim supposed.
Spock was no longer looking at him, though, when Jim gazed up, and in fact, Spock’s eyes were following the movements of the bartender. Jim knew his best friend had a bit of a crush on the bartender with the long hair drawn back into a pony-tail, but had, as yet, not approached the guy. Jim worried his mention of a fling had Spock thinking in that direction.
“I’m talking about a fling with someone much more familiar,” Jim said.
“Spock. Stop looking at Hector and look at me when I’m talking.”
Spock had the grace to blush a light green as he turned his gaze back to Jim. “I apologize. You were saying?”
“When I was talking about having a fling I wasn’t asking your opinion on their merits.” He struggled for patience. “I was asking you about having a fling with me.”
Spock frowned. “I do not understand.”
Jim drummed his fingers on the table in front of him. “You and me. Having sex.”
Spock laughed. And wasn’t that a deflating reaction? It took a lot to make Spock laugh. It was against the Vulcan rules or something. Yet Jim had just done it. Then Spock studied him with a more interested expression. He took another sip from his drink. “Wait. You’re actually serious.”
“Of course I’m serious. Am I that unappealing?”
Jim had expected a quick reassurance, because he knew he wasn’t ugly or anything, so he was surprised when Spock seemed to eye him up and down, like he was trying to decide. Okay, he knew he wasn’t super hot like Spock with dark haired good looks, but he didn’t think he was a total slouch either.
His friend rolled his eyes. “Of course you are not unappealing, Jim. Please. Do you not recall that you were voted the cutest in your class back on Vulcan?”
Jim snorted. “And that was a big surprise. I never expected that from Vulcans. But anyway, what the hell has that got to do with anything? That was just silly nonsense.”
“It was. But you are still cute with those baby blues eyes and sandy hair. Peaches and cream complexion.” Spock nodded. “You are appealing, believe me.”
“You mean red. I’m always turning red. More like Strawberries and cream.” Jim rolled his eyes. “Then why the hesitation?”
“You are my closer to me than anyone, Jim. We are lifelong friends. We are practically family. Getting involved in a relationship will just ruin our friendship and I do not want that.”
“And you think I do? I’m not talking about a relationship, Spock. I don’t want dinners and the movies, walks in the park. I’m talking down and dirty sex.”
“So not a romantic thing at all?”
“Of course not. Nothing like that. Just a friends with benefits kind of thing. We’re both between relationships, right?” He paused to wait for Spock’s nod. “Okay then. Now’s the perfect time for a little experimentation. Just until we’re ready for something else with someone else. No strings attached. When it’s over, it’s over. And we go back to just being friends. Like always.”
“You make it sound way too easy.”
“I don’t know, Jim. Neither of us are very casual. And romance…”
“Gives you the heebs. I know. I’m not looking for romance with you,” Jim assured him. “We already love each other, okay? In a friendly family sort of way, so that’s not an issue.”
Spock set his empty glass on the table and put both hands on the edge. “Let me be honest here. I am bisexual. I am quite attracted to males. However, as you are keenly aware, I was betrothed as a child to T’Pring. At some point, T’Pring and I will fully bond and raise a family together.”
Jim shrugged. “You’ve had that all arranged since we were kids. I don’t expect you to change. I know how that all works. I spent years on Vulcan, remember?”
Spock nodded. “Then, I have to ask. Why now? I mean, we have been friends for a long time. You’ve never indicated an interest in sexual exploration with me before. What has changed?”
“I’ve always been curious. Well, since I realized I liked guys. But at first I didn’t even know you’d be interested in guys like that, or anything casual at all, considering, and then we both had other people in our lives. And have off and on for years. It’s been a long dry spell for both of us, so I thought if it was ever going to happen, if my curiosity ever got satisfied, so to speak, now was the time.”
Jim pasted on a smile.
“But, hey, if you aren’t interested, it’s cool.” Jim angled his head toward the bar. “I can always have my fling with Hector.”
Spock scowled. “I did not say no. I just asked the why.”
Spock fell silent for so long, Jim was certain the only response was that Jim was out of his mind. He held his breath.
“Very well. I accept. When?”
“Tonight? When we get home?”
Jim had to admit that he hadn’t anticipated Spock’s easy agreement. He’d expected he’d have to do some more convincing or that Spock would just shoot him down entirely. He wasn’t Spock’s type as far as Jim could tell. Spock, when sleeping with men, generally went with the sexy Latino types like Hector back at the bar rather than average guys like him.
But here they were riding back to their apartment complex in Spock’s practical sedan hover car—he was a scientist, after all—with plans to get horizontal once they arrived.
Which begged the age-old question.
Jim cleared his throat. “Your place or mine?”
“Yours,” Spock said, quickly.
And for a moment, that bothered Jim. Like he wasn’t good enough to grace Spock’s bed or something. But the moment didn’t last, because this had been his idea, anyway, and who cared which bed they used for fucking? Jim had a bed and lube. That was what mattered. Besides when it was over, Spock could just get up and leave to his own place without any awkwardness. Or so Jim guessed. If they’d been at Spock’s, Jim would have felt weird about having to rush on out, but Spock would play it much cooler about that. Yeah, Jim’s apartment was the logical choice.
Spock parked the car in his assigned space and then turned to look at Jim. “I will be over shortly.”
Since Jim figured this was Spock’s way of controlling things, something he was generally wanting to do, he agreed with a quick nod. “Sure. No problem. There are a few things I should take care of first, anyway.”
“An hour or so then?”
Jim scurried up the stairs to his apartment and let himself in. He glanced around, wondering if he ought to straighten the place up, but quickly reminded himself that Spock knew he was messy, Spock knew everything, actually, and this wasn’t a real date besides. There was no one to impress with his house cleaning abilities.
So he figured he had time for a shower and a thorough cleaning of himself instead.
When he was done, he realized he still had a good thirty-five minutes still to wait, so he went to his terminal and spent that time going over the contents of the test he was going to be expected to take tomorrow. He had not doubt he would pass it, but a little extra studying was logical.
He’d dressed only in loose fitting shorts, not bothering with underwear, so that he could be ready when Spock arrived. Which a glance at the time on his computer had told him that Spock was already ten minutes over the hour.
Or so, Jim reminded himself.
Kind of unusual for Spock, though. The Vulcan generally preferred to be punctual. And Jim, having been raise on Vulcan himself, generally preferred that as well.
Now Jim started to remind himself that this was probably a really bad idea. He suspected that Spock was already having second thoughts. Probably third and fourth ones too. Jim couldn’t even blame him, really.
He picked up his communication device, saw no texts from Spock, but raised his finger above the little bubble, thinking to put them out of their misery himself.
When there was a short knock on the front door.
Swallowing his stupid nervousness, Jim set the communicator down next to the terminal and went to answer.
Spock had changed too. Out of his work clothes and into a black tank top and jeans. He looked good. Spock knew he looked good in black, particularly. Jim could only imagine he’d dressed this way on purpose as Spock never did anything by chance. His hair was damp as though he too had showered, but he hadn’t bothered to shave away his five o’clock shadow that had just begun to appear across the pale skin of his jaw, and Jim found himself glad. Spock was sexy this way.
But there was some apprehension in Spock’s dark eyes, some uncertainty he was not used to seeing in his friend.
Still, Spock raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to let me in?”
Jim barely registered that he was standing there, still holding the edge of the door, and not allowing Spock entry.
“Sorry.” He moved out of the doorway. “A little nervous, I guess.”
“Do not be,” Spock said, as he passed Jim, and walked into the living room. “It is no big deal, right? We have both had sex before.”
“But not with each other.”
“No, but this was your idea, Jim.”
It had been, yeah, and he was way overthinking this, thinking them, because this is exactly what he hadn’t wanted to do. They were just friends who were going to fuck. That was all there was to it.
“Yep. Let’s go to the bedroom.”
Spock smirked at that and Jim tried not to blush, pretty sure his fair skin gave him away.
At least they didn’t have to have any awkward conversations about who was topping, because, since they were friends, best ones, Spock already knew that Jim’s preferred position was to bottom. And he didn’t think Spock had ever done anything but topped his lovers.
He’d set a bottle of lube on the bedside table. Spock’s dick had some lubrication, Jim knew all about Vulcan anatomy having experienced it firsthand a time or two, but a little extra lubrication couldn’t hurt.
Spock’s gaze strayed there too and Jim didn’t miss the uptick of his smirk.
Spock had sexy, sensual, plump lips which he really should be kissing, Jim thought.
But this whole thing was still more awkward then it ought to be for two consenting adults.
Jim shook his head, moved to the bed, and yanked off his shorts. It was put up or shut up time. It was his idea.
Chapter 2: One Week Ago
“Jim, honey, this is a bad plan.” Nyota Uhura shook her head. She was giving him that ‘you’re a crazy bastard’ look she sometimes got.
Nyota and her girlfriend, Gaila, who Jim and Spock had met at the Academy, were having lunch with him at their favorite outdoor café that had way better food than the cafeteria on campus. Jim had a tuna fish sandwich, which he normally would gobble down, but he’d barely touched it.
“It’s not a plan, Ny.”
“No. I mean not the way you mean it. A plan implies that there’s something more to it than there is. Which there isn’t.”
She exchanged a look with Gaila who smirked. “No, huh?”
“No. It’s an idea. An idea to propose a few casual sexual encounters with my best friend.”
“A recipe for disaster if ever I heard one.”
“Now, sweetheart,” Gaila spoke up. “Jim’s right. It doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing at all wrong with casual, no-strings attached sex. Before I met you, I engaged in it all the time.”
“Sure.” Nyota flicked her hand dismissively. “But that doesn’t apply to Jim and Spock. There’s nothing casual about the way they feel about each other.”
“That’s not true,” Jim insisted. “Okay. It is true. But not like that. We’re friends, family. There’s no romance at all between us. Nothing. Spock thinks romance is illogical and I…”
Gaila smiled encouragingly. “You?”
“Well, it’s not something I’m interested in. Not with Spock anyway.”
Nyota shook her head. “Okay. But you’re also friends with Mitchell. God only knows why. Or Leonard. Why not propose flings with one of them?”
“Because…” Jim closed his mouth. “Because I just don’t want to have sex with either one of them. All right?”
“But there’s no romantic love feelings for Spock at all?”
“None,” Jim insisted.
“Because, honey, Spock is already betrothed to—”
“T’Pring since he was a child. Yes. I know. I was actually there, you know, when it happened.”
Gaila looked at him skeptically. “You were pretty young. Do you even remember it?”
“Well. No. But everyone says I was there. So I was.”
Nyota patted his hand, but Jim figured it was an excuse to reach over and steal a fry, which she immediately popped into her mouth.
“I just don’t want you to become emotionally involved only to have your heart broken.”
Jim laughed. “Not going to happen.”
“But Jimmy,” Gaila put in, “you feel so deeply. We all know that.”
“I do not. I am logical and analytical.”
“In a pig’s eye.”
Jim glanced over to see their other friend, Leonard “Bones” McCoy, standing next to their table, plate with a hamburger on it in hand. Jim gestured to a nearby chair at an empty table. Bones grabbed it and brought it over while Jim scooted over to make room for him.
“What’s this about? You claiming to be logical.”
“Jimmy wants to…ouch! Jim, did you just kick me?”
“Kick you, Gaila? Of course not. Probably a bee stung you.”
She frowned. “A big blond bee.”
Jim gave her a look. “Nothing, Bones. We were just talking nonsense. Nothing important.”
“Hmm. I’ll admit sometimes you have a teeny tiny bit of logic, buried deep, mind you, but I’m fairly sure the robot would out-logic you ten to one.”
“Spock’s not a robot.”
“Not per se, but…”
“Bones.” Jim sighed. “Never mind.”
And anyway, Jim hadn’t made up his mind or anything. Sure, when he was in his apartment he rehearsed it. Looked in the mirror and recited how he was going to say it.
In fact, after lunch, he went home, showered, and got ready to meet Spock. Stood in front of the mirror.
“Hey, Spock, what do you say veux-tu me faire l’amour?”
No. That just sounded stupid. Jim sounded stupid.
“You. Me. In bed.”
Jim went and met Spock that night at their usual place and didn’t mention anything about his idea. Instead, they’d talked about missing Vulcan and when they would get a chance to go visit again. And whether Sam or T’Via would win on the name for their son.
And Jim had gone back to his lonely empty apartment and used his hand on himself instead of Spock’s. Even decided for several days in a row that it was a good thing he hadn’t mentioned it to Spock. Left well enough alone. Jim and Spock forever friends.
On Wednesday of last week, Jim went to a gay bar, figuring if he wasn’t going to hook up with his best friend forever, he should hook up with someone. But then he’d spotted Sulu from the Academy with some guy there and Jim just decided the whole thing really wasn’t his scene and he’d left. Feeling a little envious that Sulu was getting some and Jim had his hand again.
So when Friday had come around once more, as Fridays do, and they’d met at their usual place, and Jim ordered his wine and Spock his mocktini, this one lime flavored as Spock had a thing for sour, and Spock had followed Hector with those dark eyes of his, Spock’s not Hector’s, Jim had finally gotten up the nerve to propose their fling.
He was proud of himself, too.
He’d done it and Spock agreed.
Now he just had to really, really hope that it wouldn’t ruin them. Because everyone would hate Jim, if it did.
And he could deal with that.
Just not Spock.
Or Spock's mom. His dad already sort of did.
Or Jim's mom. She wouldn't, he didn't think. Always on his side, after all.
And Sam and T'Via. And the baby, Peter or whatever he would be called.
Okay, he didn't want any of them to hate him.
But especially Spock.
Chapter 3: The Present
“And then Amanda called.”
Bones, biscuit hovering next to his mouth as he was poised to take a bite, stared at Jim instead. “What now?”
“Spock’s mother.” Jim shook his head and stabbed viciously at the pancakes on his plate. They were at the diner, aptly named the Dive, not far from Starfleet Academy, having breakfast. “Basically she put a damper on the whole thing.”
“So, you didn’t?”
Jim sighed. “Right.” He was sort of sorry he told Bones about the whole thing honestly. It was a moment of weakness to call his friend and ask to meet this morning.
“What she want?”
“Who knows? Spock took it back at his apartment and never got back to me. I don’t think it was anything urgent or he definitely would have told me about it. I waited for a while, thinking he’d come back, but he never did.”
And damn, for some reason that hurt Jim. Stupid.
“After all this setup you and Spock didn’t even…”
Bones shook his head and took the bite of biscuit. He chewed thoughtfully before making a face. “This is no southern biscuit.”
Jim laughed. “So sorry.”
“Maybe it’s for the best anyway.”
"No genius. You and Spock."
Bones grabbed his knife and cut off a hunk of gravy covered chicken-fried steak. “You love Spock.”
“Well, yeah. I know. So?”
“No. You don’t. You love Spock.”
“He’s my best friend and brother, Bones. Of course I love him.”
Bones pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Jim. You aren’t getting it. I’m your friend and brother too, right?”
Bones smiled. “Great. So, when you decided you had to have sex with someone between romantic partners.” He paused to roll his eyes at this. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
“You’re, um, straight?”
Bones smirked. “Am I? Do you know that for sure, Jim?”
Did he? Jim squirmed.
“It didn’t occur you to ask me. Did it?”
“No. Because, you’re like my…”
“Brother,” Bones supplied. “It would have been gross.”
“But not gross with Spock, who you have known all your life, almost, were raised together, lived next to each other, combined families, become practically a Vulcan your self—”
“You know what I mean. You’ve known me since you got to San Francisco, but you don’t want to have sex with me. Okay, how about Gary? You know he’ll do anything that moves. You didn’t think to ask him either.”
“Gary’s a dick.”
“And he has one too. If all you’re interested in is a great sexual time, he’d probably be just the ticket. So why not him?”
“Because Spock’s just more…”
“Shut up. I don’t love him like that.” Jim scowled.
“Okay. Whatever you say. But I still think maybe you should tell Spock you’ve changed your mind about having a fling with him.”
“No way. Why should I?”
“Because I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s why. Just tell Spock you met someone and you don’t need to do the thing anymore.”
“I haven’t met anyone.”
“You lie about it.”
Jim snorted. “You don’t know Spock. He sees through every lie I’ve ever tried. He practically reads my mind. I think maybe he does.”
“Oh.” Bones waved his fork. “Just like that, huh?”
“I think maybe we established some kind of familial bond or something. You know spending so much time together. I sometimes get his thoughts and feelings and I know he does mine even more.”
“So you bonded as a family?”
“Well, you know not like an official one, but seems like it. We’re super connected. And it only seems logical because we were raised like we were.”
Bones nodded. “Uh-huh. Why did you choose Spock for your fling then?”
“Because he’s gorgeous. And I’ve always been curious about what it would be like. Well, not always. But for a long time.”
“Curious about Vulcans or Spock specifically?”
“I’ve been with Vulcans,” Jim admitted. “I meant Spock.”
His friend smirked again, but this time said nothing.
Jim reached over and snatched the rest of Bones’ biscuit. “Look, even if I was, er, you know…”
“In love with Spock.”
“Yeah, whatever. Which I am not. He’s going to bond with T’Pring and have a family and all that.”
“Which is why, I don’t know, the guy sitting across from you,” Bones snatched back his biscuit, “is suggesting a fling with someone you have absolutely no future with is a bad idea.”
“No, it’s not. Since I know that, it’s just a fling, with no emotional attachment. When one of us finds someone else they are interested in, it’s all, okay, thanks.”
“Slam bam thank you man or something?”
Jim smiled. “Yeah. And we go back to being what we always are. It’s only logical, Bones.”
“Jim, I know you’ve spent years on Vulcan and even managed to convince some of them of your superior intellect, but you don’t have a logical bone in your entire body. And this idea of yours is idiotic.”
“It is not. It’s a perfect idea. And Amanda interrupting last night notwithstanding, tonight we’re going to pick up where we left off.”
“Unless Spock is having second thoughts.”
Jim stuck his fork into Bones’ chicken-fried steak. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, he didn’t come back last night, did he? Maybe because he has the other half of your brain?”
“As my friend, you’re supposed to support me.”
Bones sighed and leaned back, pushing his plate toward Jim. “Yeah. Through thick and thin.”
“And every stupid idea that comes into that pretty little head of yours.”
“Right. Hey.” Jim kicked him under the booth. “Be nice.”
Jim rolled his eyes and finished Bones’ breakfast, his mind already on seeing Spock later.
Chapter 4: The Other Side
“So?” Nyota stuck her mouth into the straw, not the other way around, and arched both manicured eyebrows at Spock, who casually lounged across from her, staring morosely into a glass of peach iced tea.
“What are you going to do? Tell him you changed your mind?”
“It is a bad idea.” Spock toyed with the peaches and cream scone in front of him. He had yet to take a bite. “A terrible one.”
“Which? Telling him you changed your mind or…?”
“His original idea.” Spock shook his head. “It was not logical to agree.”
“I didn’t think you were going to.”
The truth of the matter was that Nyota had given Spock a heads up that Jim was going to broach the subject of a fling with him. He had fully intended to shoot the whole idea down. He and Jim were like brothers. Raised together. Or nearly so. Nothing good could or would come from a sexual relationship between them.
“I had intended to.”
“But?” She reached over and tore off a hunk of scone. She popped it into her mouth.
Spock exhaled carefully. “Curiosity got the best of me.”
“Curiosity?” She smirked. “Or lust?”
“Jim is an exceptionally attractive human who can have whoever he desires. I have always known this.”
“And you fancy trying some of that?”
“Nyota,” he murmured.
“Spock,” she said gently. “We both know that you are far too emotionally attached to Jim to let this go forward. If the two of you becoming involved sexually you won’t ever want to let him go. The reason your casual relationships have always worked is because there were no feelings there. When this is all over, and Jim moves on, or you do, because of T’Pring, one or both of you is going to be hurt. And I fear, irreparably. Which is why I warned you about Jim’s plan in the first place.”
“I did not think he would really go through with it.”
She gaped at him. “Seriously? Once Jim gets a bee in his bonnet, he never lets it go.”
Spock shook his head. “You have the most bizarre sayings.”
“I know. I must tell him that I have changed my mind and I do not wish to do it after all.” Spock eyed the scone dispassionately. “I do not want to hurt him, and I am afraid he will see this as a rejection.”
“But the alternative…”
When Spock opened his apartment door later that day, at almost dinner time, he was unsurprised to see Jim standing there. But what he was surprised at was his own reaction to the way Jim looked.
Spock knew how deep his feelings for Jim went. He had no self-delusions. But there was no future for them, romantically, so casual relations were all he indulged in with anyone until the time came when he and T’Pring would fulfill their bond and create a family.
But it was as though Jim had dressed himself in ‘Spock fuck me” attire. Spock supposed that was exactly what Jim had in mind. The jeans he wore had been chosen for their ridiculous tightness, cradling Jim’s butt cheeks like, cliché or not, they had been painted on. If Jim wore underwear, Spock could not see how. Then he wore a see-through white T-shirt that hugged his biceps and showed off his nipples through the shirt. Spock suspected that Jim also wore some kind of light blue eye shadow that just made his blue eyes even more stunning.
Spock gripped the door hard, mostly to keep from pouncing. “Jim…”
Jim’s tongue came out to trace his lips and Spock was fairly sure Jim had always done this on purpose. “Can I come in, Spock?”
The word ‘no’ froze on his tongue and could not come out. He stepped back instead. Jim walked into his apartment. Spock recalled they were supposed to be getting together in Jim’s apartment, not his, and so he had a moment of thinking, maybe, it would be all right, and they wouldn’t make the mistake of no turning back from this. From them.
Spock closed his apartment door and turned to face Jim.
Jim smiled at him, that warm, heart-stopping smile he was famous for, that had turned heads even on Vulcan, where most were at least a little in love with Jim. No one could resist that smile. Certainly not Spock.
“Would you like some dinner or something to drink?” Spock asked.
“Not hungry. Had a late breakfast with Bones earlier. I was…Spock. I know last night your mom called and…” Jim stopped looked around.
“I thought you’d come back, but you didn’t.”
“Other things caught my attention. I…”
Jim stepped close to Spock. Put his hands on Spock’s arms and even through the sleeves of Spock’s sweater, he could feel how hot Jim burned. It was both soothing and desirable. It was not logical, but…
“Kiss me,” Jim spoke softly.
Spock ought to say no. No, this was a bad idea from the beginning, and they shouldn’t have a fling. Now was his chance to prevent this disaster from ever happening. The chance of losing Jim in his life was…
Spock’s lips found Jim’s. It would just be the barest hint of a kiss, he told himself. But no. His lips pressed down on Jim’s in a way that was embarrassingly eager. And though there was no way it was logical to think, Spock could not help but think Jim tasted like sunshine.
“Jim,” he murmured against those plump, delectable lips. He moved his hands down to cup Jim’s buttocks, lifting him off the ground and moving him over to the sofa.
They fell onto it, Jim under Spock, moaning low against Spock’s mouth as Spock hovered above him. Spock could feel the hard ridge of Jim’s erection against him and rubbed his own against Jim’s pulling out groans from both of him.
His hand spread out over Jim’s face and Jim’s breath hitched floating over Spock’s skin.
And then water poured down from above onto them.
“Wait.” Nyota’s mouth fell open as she stopped the muffin in mid-air she was about to take a bite of the next morning. “What?”
“The gentleman with the apartment above mine started a fire in his kitchen and set off my sprinklers.”
“Oh, my God.”
Spock nodded. “Fortunately, the damage to my apartment was minimal, though the sofa was ruined, and I will have to find other accommodations until it is fixed.” He sighed. “And needless to say, we did not consummate our ‘fling’.”
Nyota shook her head. “I can hardly believe it. Maybe it’s a sign.”
“Indeed it is. That the man living above me is a moron.”
She covered her mouth and giggled. “Well. Er, sorry?”
“It made Jim quite grumpy, however, his apartment was not involved, and he has suggested I stay with him.”
She rolled her eyes. “How convenient. Are you going to?”
“Hi, what’re you guys talking about?”
Spock looked to see Jim standing next to their table at the tea shop. Jim was smiling tentatively. He held a bag in one hand that likely contained some breakfast sweet and a cup of coffee in his other hand.
“Nothing that you need to worry about. Sit, Jim. Join us.”
Jim pulled up a chair and sat very close to Spock. As he normally did. Nyota shook her head, but finally took a bite of her muffin.
Perhaps, it was better to have their fling, Spock thought. Get it out of both of their systems, so that they could move on with others.
Still, Spock felt…uneasy.
Chapter 5: How Do You Know?
“I know it’s a bit messy,” Jim said when Spock entered his apartment behind him with his belongings. He scampered over to his sofa and started scooping up clothes he’d left lying around. His eyes bugged out when he saw a pair of underwear wedged between two cushions on the sofa.
Naturally, Spock’s gaze went right to them.
Jim felt himself blush hot. “S-Sorry. They’re, um, they’re clean. I fold my laundry there.”
Up went that Vulcan eyebrow.
“I’ll take your stuff into the bedroom. Make yourself at home.”
Jim picked up Spock’s bag and carried it and his laundry into the bedroom. He glanced toward the door and then closed it, taking out his communication device.
“Hey.” Jim swallowed. “I-I think I’m hyperventilating.”
“What? About what? Jim, what’s going on?”
Jim sat on the bed. “How do you know…well. When you’re in love.”
“What?” Sam asked again.
He sighed. “How’d you know with T’Via?” Jim paused and leaned forward clutching his stomach. It kind of hurt and now that he thought about it, he felt like throwing up. “If you, you know, do. Are.”
“Are you trying to be smart?” Sam asked sharply.
“No. I mean, she’s a Vulcan, they don’t do emotion like we do, and…I don’t really know what I’m saying.”
“Clearly,” Sam said dryly. “Of course I love my wife. Who are you in love with, kid?”
“But you’re hyperventilating. Do I need to contact Spock?”
“Spock?” Jim squealed. Winced. “Contact Spock? Why would you contact Spock?”
“Because he promised to keep an eye on you at the academy.”
“l can take care of myself.”
“Uh-huh. That’s why you’re contacting me in the middle of the night.”
Jim frowned. “It’s not the middle of the night, it’s…oh crap. It is on Vulcan. I’m sorry!”
Sam laughed. “Yeah, okay. But I do need to get back to bed. As far as knowing when you’re in love…”
“Does it make you want to throw up?”
“Fuck. My stomach is killing me.” Jim doubled over and rolled onto the floor. “I’m dying.”
Jim came out of the bathroom looking white as the sheets on his bed and extremely weak. Spock rushed over to him, helping him to stay upright.
“Sorry. I’m sorry Sam called you.”
“I was in the next room anyway about to check on you. I would have been able to assist you sooner if you had not locked the door,” Spock gently admonished.
“It must have been the sweet roll I had at the tea place.” Jim moaned. “God, I feel terrible.”
“I can contact Dr. McCoy if you would like.”
“No, please. He’ll just stab me with something. I just…can you help me to the bed?”
Spock wanted to pick him up and carry him there, but decided Jim would not appreciate his show of strength at that moment, so he simply held onto Jim while he walked over to the bed.
Jim fell onto the bed with a loud groan. “I’m never eating again.”
Spock nodded. “Straighten out and I will put the sheet and blanket around you.”
Jim did as Spock told him. As Spock maneuvered the covers around Jim, he grumbled, “So much for having sex today either.”
Spock exhaled and sat down on the bed beside Jim. “Actually, I have been thinking about that.”
Jim eyed him, looking completely miserable. “Oh?”
“Perhaps we should reconsider…”
Jim’s big blue eyes widened and then, to Spock’s mortification, began to well with tears.
“You know, never mind,” Spock said quickly, his throat feeling suddenly raw. “You do not feel well, and this is hardly the time to have any important conversations.”
“But nothing, Jim. Forget I said anything. What I want you to do is rest and try to recover from your food poisoning.”
Jim nodded slowly. Then he sniffed. “Are you cooking something?”
“Yes, I am baking Kreyla.”
Jim’s tongue came out. “Kreyla. I love Kreyla.”
“Didn’t you say not ten minutes ago you were never going to eat again?”
He smiled very slightly, though Spock noticed his eyes were just a little watery still. “Well, yeah. But you knew that was a lie.”
Spock shook his head fondly. “Rest. I will bring you some water later as I do not want you to become dehydrated.”
He stood up and for some unfathomable reason, he leaned down and kissed Jim lightly on the forehead. When he rose and straightened, he saw the sheen in Jim’s eyes was brighter still.
Spock decided it would be wise not to say anything further and he departed the bedroom. After notifying Sam that Jim was not in fact dying as he had implied to his brother, Spock took the Kreyla out of the oven.
He went to stand by the sliding door of Jim’s apartment and noticed it had begun to rain. He glanced to his own PADD sitting on the dining room table. He returned to it and his last search.
Can a Vulcan betrothal bond be broken?