Actions

Work Header

homes for lost things

Chapter 4: winter pt II

Notes:

please enjoy 33k of three idiots figuring out how to date each other

Chapter Text

i couldn’t convince you that the blue you see is the same blue that i see.

but maybe that’s how lovers know they’re meant to love;

they see the same blue. and they both know it.

— pleasefindthis, i wrote this for you. 

 


 

After being away for so long, Alex had almost forgotten how rainy it became in Midvale in the winter. It was always something that had got on her nerves back when she was younger, the rain cold and inconvenient, never seeming to stop. 

She listens to it as she lays cuddled in bed, wrapped in thick blankets like a burrito, the raindrops pounding against the window. It fits perfectly with her mood, ironically, and she pushes her face deeper into the pillows as thunder cracks loudly somewhere in the distance.

She barely hears the door swing open, but she does hear the heavy footsteps of her sister barging into their shared childhood room, and she definitely hears the curtains being forced open. What vague light has passed through the clouds in the sky shines through the window, dimly lighting up what was a perfectly dark room.

“Kara,” Alex groans, her sister’s name coming out muffled into the pillows. She rolls over in her bed and throws the covers off herself, glaring up at Kara, who’s standing at the side of her bed with her hands on her hips. 

“Alex,” Kara replies in the same warning tone, frowning at her from over her glasses. “You can’t sleep in so late. It’s not healthy.” 

“You’re not healthy,” Alex grumbles back, but Kara only rolls her eyes, reaching down to try and physically drag Alex out of the bed. 

“I’m serious. Plus, Eliza made lunch.” 

Lunch. Did she really sleep in that long? It doesn’t feel like it, but then, she had waited until almost two in the morning to actually even make an effort to go to sleep. She’d been up long into the night, her thoughts too loud, fighting with herself over whether or not she should just pick up the phone and call Sam and Lena. 

She picks up her phone. It really is lunchtime- the fact surprises her, even if Kara had just said that it was (she wouldn't put it past her to pretend that it was lunchtime just to get her out of bed). There are also several messages from Sam and a single missed call from Lena. 

"Woah, yeah. I heard your phone ringing like crazy from the other room. I have no idea how that didn't wake you up," Kara chuckles. "Seems like your not-girlfriends miss you," 

"It's just Sam, she-" Alex begins, but furrows her brows when Kara seems to look a little too happy about the lack of a correction. "Why am I even explaining this to you? Get out of my room." 

It’s only after Kara leaves, tongue sticking out at her before the door shuts, that Alex realizes what she’d said. 

Just Sam. 

There is no just when it comes to Sam, when it comes to either of them. In such a short amount of time, they’ve somehow become everything, and she doesn’t know how to feel about that. 

Her eyes linger on the texts Sam had sent her, each one varying degrees of obvious longing and some even apologetic, like she doesn’t quite want Alex to get annoyed with her, and then nothing at all. The messages had stopped just an hour before Kara came to wake her up.

She doesn't let herself think about them missing her. It's not like they would, not really. They have each other, and they're probably spending the holiday together. Sam with her unending enthusiasm for the season, endless laughter and an almost childlike joy that somehow makes Ruby seem more grown up in comparison. And Lena would roll her eyes and pretend like she hates the gaudy decorations and the repetitive carols but the smile on her face would give her away. 

But of course, Alex doesn't let herself think about that. She focuses on the present, and the present is Eliza and Kara sitting downstairs waiting for her, the rain still pouring outside, and the way her stomach is growling now that she’s been reminded of food. More specifically, her mother’s food.

Her mother, who smiles teasingly when she turns the corner and comes sauntering into the kitchen, running a hand through her hair. It’s messy from sleep, falling into her eyes, and she must look a mess, too, because Kara snickers under her breath at her appearance.

“It’s about time you joined us,” Eliza teases her, getting her plate ready. Kara’s already halfway done with her meal, mouth full of food as she shoots Alex a pointed look across the table.

“I told her she was sleeping too much,” she says between chews, words muffled, but she quickly shuts up when Alex mouths a threat her way, eyes narrowed. 

“Hey! You’re both adults,” Eliza scolds them, pointing between both of them. Both Alex and Kara cower under her gaze, nodding. “Act like it.” 

“Sorry,” they mutter in sync, shooting sheepish looks at each other. 

Alex glances around, frowning when she doesn’t hear the pattering of paws against the hardwood floor. Usually Isa is the first to greet her when she wakes up, but today, it was Kara. 

“Hey, where’s-“ 

She’s cut off by a half-hearted bark, Isa is already down there, she wags her tail upon seeing Alex but the traitor doesn't move from Kara's side, as she sneaks her bits of food under the table when she thinks Eliza isn't looking. 

Alex's brow furrows, and she glares at her sister. "You stole my dog." 

Eliza, fed up with the bickering, raises her voice before Kara can respond. "Good morning to you too, Alex. Or should I say, good afternoon ." 

"It was jet lag," 

"But you drove-" Alex shoots Kara a dirty look, and Kara promptly shuts her mouth. 

She takes her plate, and upon glancing at what Eliza's cooked, her jaw clenches. She's made enough for four again. 

It's not something new, but it just shows how far removed she's been from Eliza and Kara, that the fact that her mom hasn't lost the habit of cooking for the four of them surprises her even though it has happened consistently since Jeremiah died. 

Kara notices her hesitate, and her eyes seem to beg for Alex not to revive the same old argument. ' Not this time, not this year'. 

So she doesn't point it out, and takes more food than she can eat onto her own plate as Kara goes for seconds. Eliza acts like everything's normal. 

It's just stupid. Hypocritical. She gets the most shit for pretending that things are fine when they aren't, but Kara and Eliza are exactly the same. They chat about menial things over a table set for four. 

There's no liquor in the house, but she feels the clawing urge to get herself a stiff drink to make this week go a whole lot faster. The rain is the only thing stopping her, really. Persistent and never-ending, the roads would be flooded in places and she knows if she gets stuck out there, Kara and Eliza will never let her forget that she got stranded while hunting for booze. 

She keeps her phone in her pocket all day. Mutes it so that Kara doesn't make another snarky comment about her being popular, but keeps it on vibrate. Just in case. It'd be useful- it could be an out, a way to get her out of a conversation. She could make up an excuse as to who would be ringing, and then she could take the call and say- well… 

She doesn't know what she'd say. Hey, sorry I abruptly quit on you guys and then left for the week! How are you? 

Eliza raps on the coffee table in front of her face. She’d been staring at the TV without really watching it, a mug of tea cupped in her hands, eyes unfocused as she got lost in thought. “Alexandra.” 

Oh, God. Her full name. When she looks up, Eliza is staring at her in concern. “Is something wrong? You’ve been quiet for a while.” 

Alex clears her throat. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, Mom.” 

It’s a blatant lie and she and Eliza both know it; she can’t help but feel how she did her first year at Stanford back in her college days. She feels homesick , less for the town itself and more for the people in it. 

Both Kara and Eliza are staring at her as she picks at the food on her plate, shrugging. “Guys, I’m fine. I promise. It’s just… weird, being back, I guess.” 

It’s not a complete lie, but really, the only thing she wants right now is to be alone. Or, more specifically, she wants to be ‘alone’ with two other women, but that isn’t exactly an option at the moment. 

Her chair scrapes against the floor as she pushes back from the table, standing and snapping for Isa to follow her. “I’m not very hungry,” she gives as an excuse to leave. Anything to get out of having this conversation now. “I’m going to take Isa on a walk.” 

“But it’s raining-” Kara starts to say, but Alex shoots her a pointed look.

“It’s just a drizzle now,” she brushes Kara off, grabbing Isa’s leash from the hook on the wall. “Besides, she needs the exercise if you’re going to keep feeding her like she is.” 

Kara rolls her eyes. “To be fair, Isa approached me , and I don’t think-” 

Alex is already out the door before Kara is able to finish her sentence.


Ruby starts calling Lena the Grinch within two days. It's hard not to be, when everywhere she goes she's accosted by unnecessarily festive decorations and greetings. From the minute she wakes up, Sam is humming Christmas songs under her breath while making red and green pancakes — ones that clash horrendously and look horrible after they're cooked —and she wears a different garishly festive sweater every day, despite Lena’s disgust. 

Today's says 'jingle my bells' and Lena wonders if Sam's aware of the connotations of the design perfectly framing her- and, oh, she's definitely aware , but Lena isn't sure of what she's trying to suggest. 

She's also not a fan of the new wave of customers they're having. They come in and browse for ages , and pull books off shelves and then just leave them everywhere. Nobody knows what they want, especially the gift-givers, and so helping them usually just ends up with more confusion all around. 

And not to mention the children -

"Hey, Grinchy," It's Ruby, with a cup of coffee and a stack of sugar cookies. Lena doesn't snap at her for the nickname, not when she's showing up with sustenance and caffeine. 

"You've saved my life again," she sighs, and Ruby gives her a wide grin. "How's your mother?" 

Ruby raises both her eyebrows, drawing her mouth into a firm line. Lena places her hands on the counter and leans over to get a glimpse of her partner, and just manages to spot her as she darts from one end of the room to the counter, her hair a mess, her movements frantic. 

Lena glances at Ruby. "Have I said that I absolutely detest the holidays?" 

"Yeah. Several times," Ruby nods, watching her mom continue to run around the store.

The mood continues into the evening. It's like she can't shake the festivities, not even as she sits down with her head pillowed on Sam's shoulder watching television in the evening. 

The obnoxious jingling of sleigh bells underpinning an advertisement for the local shopping mall makes her skin crawl, and she muffles an exhausted groan into Sam's shoulder which makes the other woman chuckle. She starts to stroke the back of Lena's neck with cold fingertips, which would make Lena flinch away if she wasn't already used to Sam's incessant touches by now. 

"Don't laugh, you hate this too. I'm surprised you're fine, just watching you run around all day nearly gave me a headache," 

Her words do nothing to deter Sam from continuing her ways. The rest of the day goes by in a flurry of mini-panic attacks and nervous rambling as she gets everything ready, nearly tripping over the stairs in her haste to start putting presents under the tree in the living room. 

The next night, Christmas Eve draws to a close as Ruby heads off to bed — too old and too cool to believe in Santa Claus at her age, but ushered to bed by an exasperated Sam nonetheless. Her daughter grins before darting down the hall to her room, long hair trailing behind before she slams the door shut with a shout of “‘Night Mom, ‘night Lena!” 

The sound echoes through the hall, and Lena can’t hold back a laugh. 

Sam rests a hand on the wall, shaking her head with what Lena first assumes is amusement. But then Sam sighs and runs a hand through her hair, and it’s very much not amusement in her eyes. She’s compelled to offer comfort, but it doesn’t feel like sadness, Sam is melancholy in a different way, one that makes her shoulders sag, like her very bones are heavy, but there’s a fond smile on her face that contradicts it all. 

It’s with tentative steps that Lena goes forward, rests a hand on Sam’s shoulder that almost immediately is caught by Sam’s own. She gives Lena’s hand a squeeze, before pushing off the wall, wrapping long arms around her. 

It’s unexpected, but not unwanted, not at all. But she’s confused by the somber mood until Sam mutters- 

“She’s growing up so fast. I wish we could just... go back and do this all again. Properly ,” Sam’s eyes flutter shut. Lena’s cold fingers skirt against her skin as she cups her cheek, and Sam leans into the touch. 

“Properly?” She’s confused, Sam is the most competent, most caring, most... everything mother Lena has ever met. And perhaps it is her own bias that has her thinking that, when Sam takes a big deep breath and tries to recenter herself. “I don’t see how-“ 

“You’re so good to her. You were always the best with her and I never-“ she lets her words trail off. Opens her eyes, and the unexpected intensity has Lena frozen in place. “We wasted so much time being just friends. I dated so many idiots- you dated so many idiots-“ 

Lena narrows her eyes at the not so subtle jab, and instead focuses on the fact that her girlfriend is surely working herself up into a mood that will more than likely end up in a migraine. “How about we make a promise. No more wasted time, okay?” 

She holds out her pinky finger, as Ruby had shown her, and Sam glances down at her hand, her lips quirking into a smile. 

“Okay,” they interlock, and Lena smiles at the little huff of laughter that sneaks out of Sam. She brings her lips to her cheek, the bridge of her nose, her lips, three quick kisses that have Sam’s whole face scrunching up in amusement. “Okay!”

The next day, Lena wakes up on Christmas morning with a face full of Sam's hair, and Ruby beating her hands against the door as she runs down the hall. She splutters, pulling the long strands free from her face as Sam curls closer to her, nestling further into the crook of her neck, and tries desperately to cling to sleep. 

"She's your daughter," Lena murmurs, and Sam only groans, rolling over on her side and taking half the blankets with her as she does so. The cold air hits her bare skin, and Lena tugs the blanket back, but now it's Sam who is mostly bare, save for a pair of ridiculously festive silk shorts. 

"You're the one who got her the most expensive presents," Sam counters, as the sound of Ruby's eager shouting continues through the door. Despite her words, she leaves a soft kiss on Lena's forehead, and crawls out of bed, running a hand through her wild hair as she looks for a shirt to wear. 

She's caught up in staring at the bare expanse of Sam's back when there's a horrendous clattering that has her nearly jumping out of her skin. Sam turns around, and they both stare at the door before realising the sounds of the cacophony are just Ruby, clanging pans together. 

"Sam-" Lena starts to complain, and Sam clambers onto the bed, her arms half in her shirt, to give Lena another quick kiss. 

"I'll deal with the monster, you focus on getting your beauty sleep. How's pancakes sound?" she's close to Lena's face, but she has to raise her voice over the clamor of metal. 

"As long as you don't try to make candy cane pancakes again-" Lena warns, and Sam just laughs. 

"I promise I'll make boring regular ones for you. I value our relationship too much to try that again," 

She tugs at the blankets to make sure Lena's securely enveloped in warmth, leaves another kiss before leaving, this time on the tip of Lena's nose, and gets a soft smile in response. Then she's tugging her shirt on and lumbering out of the bedroom into the hallway to find her hellion of a daughter. Lena's heart warms at her lover's affection, but that turns to irritation when she notices the words 'Mrs. Claus, I've been naughty!' emblazoned over the back of Sam's sleep shorts. 

"I hate you," she mutters, but Sam doesn't quite catch it before she's gone. 

Despite pretending she's too cool for the holiday, Ruby's smile doesn't leave her face from the moment she wakes up. Sam knows, because she's excited too. She somehow gets her to agree to hold off on opening presents until breakfast is ready. And breakfast is quite the affair. Pancakes, of course, that Sam makes herself, and she holds off on the fancy spices and leaves them plain, just the way Lena likes them. Hot chocolate (with a dash of something extra for Lena) and plenty of marshmallows, with sugar cookies that they'd all decorated the day before. 

And then she hears Ruby gasp, and watches her run towards one of the old windows. She presses her hands against the window, and looks back at Sam, 

"It's snowing!

Sure enough, there are swirling white flurries coming down from the sky, landing on the ground and sticking just enough to cover the grass in a thin white blanket. The window has fogged up slightly by Ruby’s breath as she watches, and Sam pats her daughter on the shoulder. 

“Maybe if it sticks by tomorrow, we can have a snowball fight,” she suggests, feeling her own excitement building up. 

“God, there are two children living in this apartment,” Lena mutters behind them, and Sam reaches back without looking to swat at her. She misses, her hand swiping through thin air, and Lena chuckles as she heads to the couch, plopping down gracefully and crossing her legs. 

“You realize you’re going to be joining us in said snowball fight, right?” Sam calls back to her, glancing back over her shoulder to see Lena’s expression.

“Bold of you to assume I’d participate in anything requiring going outside while it’s snowing.” 

There are carols on while they clean up after lunch. Lena washes while Sam dries, and it's familiar and peaceful in comparison to the chaos of the morning. Ruby is in the next room, they can hear her shouts as she plays a game with her friends online. The time seems to slow down to a lethargic crawl. The gifts are all open and the gentle crooning of Patricia's old Christmas records makes the whole scene almost perfectly festive. 

But Sam can't shake the feeling that something is missing. And she knows exactly what it is. 

She's halfway through drying a plate, doesn't realise she's paused until there's an odd sensation on her nose, and she realises that Lena has just tapped her with a sudsy finger, leaving a small cluster of bubbles there. 

"Rude," Sam huffs, trying to blow the bubbles away while Lena laughs, loud and unrestrained. 

"Stop getting lost in your thoughts and help me do the dishes," she prompts, hip-checking her, and now Sam has to chuckle. 

"I can't believe it. Lena Luthor doing the dishes,” she teases. “I bet you never had to touch a dirty plate in your life.” 

There's a little moment where it seems like Lena can't quite believe it either. Her pale eyes flicker down to her hands like she's seeing them for the first time, and she ponders the situation before she turns her attention back to the task at hand. "I wouldn't believe it either, if you had told me a year ago. I wouldn't believe that I'd be here, wearing slippers at three in the afternoon, washing the dishes in your mother's old bookstore," 

"You do look sexy in those bunny slippers," Sam drawls, mouth quirking up into a half-smirk, half-teasing smile. 

"And yet you haven't looked sexy since November," Lena retorts, and Sam fakes a gasp, hand flying to her chest. "I'm so glad that this is all over, and I'll finally get to see you in something that isn't red or green.” 

She hands Sam another plate, and Sam gets back to the task of drying off the dishes. The monotony of it brings her back into her thoughts yet again, and she still can't quite place what's really wrong with this moment. The day has been perfect. It even started snowing . She doesn't have a reason to feel sad, but she does. 

Lena's words make her think about Patricia, but that hasn't really bothered her for a while now. She can't honestly say that she cares about what Patricia would think anymore. 

But then, there’s this thought nagging at her, trying to force its way to the forefront of her mind. The thought that despite everything she has done, what she had accomplished not only in Metropolis and National City but what she’s accomplished here - in this small, podunk town she never thought she’d see again - Patricia still wouldn’t be proud of her.

As if reading her mind, Lena looks over at her and leans into her, bringing Sam’s attention back to the present. “Want some hot chocolate?” she offers with a knowing smile. 

Sam leans down to peck her lips in a quick, soft kiss, before brushing past her to grab two mugs, trying hard to ignore the weight still pressing down on her shoulders. “Well, duh .”

The rest of the afternoon passes by fairly quickly, and by the time they’ve settled in on the couch for the night, Sam’s managed to distract herself from the thoughts of Patricia for the most part. 

Ruby gets tired at eight o'clock, halfway through watching Home Alone, the movie that she chose, and groans when Lena pats the pair of legs thrown across her lap. 

"Baby, you're filled with Christmas ham and a whole lotta pie. I couldn't carry you to bed if I wanted to," Sam tells her. 

Despite her mother’s words, Ruby grumbles and becomes a dead weight in Lena's lap. She chuckles, patting the girl's head idly. She's definitely no longer the tiny child that would scamper around L Corp, but she still has her moments where they are reminded that Ruby is still Sam's baby. This being one of them. She doesn't want to move, in fact she wraps her arms around Lena's torso and whines. 

The grown-ups make eye contact over Ruby. Then Sam tucks her arms under Ruby's legs while Lena tucks her arms under the girl's shoulders, and together they stand up, lifting her off of the couch. 

Her eyes bug out wide and her limbs flail as she squeals- "Hey! Put me down!" her cries are interspersed with laughter as they somehow manage to take quick and desperate steps down the hall, Sam kicks the door open to Ruby's bedroom and they both manage to toss Ruby onto her bed as Lena's arms start to burn from the exertion. 

They all break down into giggles at the indignant look on Ruby's face at the manhandling. "You guys carried me!" 

"We did. Now go to sleep," Sam commands, but Ruby just scoffs. Sam narrows her eyes at the girl. "Do you want me to sing you a lullaby too?" 

Ruby pulls another face, shaking her head insistently. "Oh god, no. I'm fine. I'll sleep better without your singing," 

"Hey! Good thing it isn't Christmas Eve, cause that kind of talk would get you onto Santa’s naughty list!”

“Mom,” Ruby groans, “I’m thirteen . I know Santa isn’t real.” 

“Then why are there so many movies about him?” Sam counters with her hands on her hips, mostly just to get a rise out of her daughter. 

But Ruby isn’t falling for it. Rolling her eyes, she throws the blanket over her head and turns over. “Goodnight, Mom!” 

Sam pats where she assumes Ruby’s leg is under the covers. “Fine, I’ll go, but don’t be surprised when you get coal for Christmas next year.” Then, switching the light off, she sighs fondly at the Ruby-shaped lump on the bed through the darkness. “Night, Rubes.” 

She closes the door, and she really isn't expecting any other Christmas miracles today. She's had her fair share, with the snow, and the gifts, and a miraculously migraine-free day. 

Lena has disappeared, and Sam doesn't think much of it until she gets into the bedroom and notices her lying in bed, glasses perched on her nose, one of Sam's cheesy romance novels in hand as she scans through it idly. 

“Is that my-”

“Yes,” Lena interrupts, glancing up Sam over the rim of her glasses. She turns another page, an eyebrow raised. “How do you read this without cringing?” 

Sam rolls her eyes as she climbs into bed beside her, long legs stretching under the covers. She rests her chin on Lena’s shoulder, her own eyes skimming the words on the page. It’s one of her favorite novels, and she finds herself unintentionally reading it as she lays with Lena, arms wrapped around her torso. 

Then, making Lena groan as she’s jostled out of nowhere, Sam jolts up in bed and gasps, arms flailing and reaching for her phone on the table. “Wait! I have to call Alex!” 

Lena frowns. “What?”

“It’s Christmas!” Sam sounds frantic, panicked, and Lena blinks in surprise. “We have to call her!” 

Before she can get the question of ‘why?’ out, Sam's holding the phone up to get a decent angle on her smiling face. She’s facetiming Alex, and Lena’s heart jumps into her throat. They haven’t seen or spoken to Alex since she left for the holidays, and Lena can’t help but feel a bit unprepared. Especially considering the previous activities.  

“Sam, Alex doesn't even celebrate-“ 

Alex’s face pops up before she can finish her sentence. “Alex!” Sam greets, excited like a puppy. “Hey! How’s Midvale? How are your mother and your sister? Are you enjoying-“ 

Hello to you too, Sam,” Lena hears Alex through the speaker, cutting Sam off her rambling, her voice full of amusement and a kind of fondness that makes Sam blush. 

“Oh. Hey,” Sam replies sheepishly, giggling. 

She‘s giggling , and Lena’s eyebrows shoot up, but Sam just elbows her. “Shut up,” she hisses under her breath. 

“Why don’t you make me, Samantha?” Lena hisses back. 

“Whoa,” Alex laughs, “what’s got the princess’s panties in a twist?” 

Lena opens her mouth to defend herself immediately, but Sam cuts in, shooting her a look before turning back to Alex. "She hates the holidays. Can you believe- of all the times of the year! She hates-" 

"I'll be glad when this night is over. Sam, show her the sweater you're wearing. Absolutely dreadful. I don't know where she gets them.” 

“Stop it!” Sam swats at her, frowning. “You said you liked this sweater.”  

Lena looks at her with a blank face, “Did I?”

“Yes,” Sam begins to insist, but stops when they hear Alex chuckling over the line, sounding muffled, like she’s trying not to let them hear her. “What’s so funny?” 

Alex sighs fondly. “I missed this,” she explains, still laughing slightly. “Your bickering.”

Then come back . Sam wants to say, but she doesn't, like some kind of... coward. She just stares at the curve of Alex's jaw, the soft look in her brown eyes, and wonders if they'll ever go back to the way things used to be. 

“I have absolutely no idea what you mean,” Lena's voice shakes her out of her thoughts.

And quickly following that, Sam says, “We’re not bickering.”

“Whatever you say,” Alex laughs. There’s a moment of silence on her end, and both Sam and Lena can almost picture the way she must be thinking of something to say - chewing on her bottom lip, hand scratching at the back of her head - before she finally asks, “So, uh… Why’d you call?” Then, “I mean, not that I don’t like hearing from you! That’s not what I- uh-“

Before she can spiral into a nervous rant, Sam interrupts with a cheerful: “We had to wish you a Merry Christmas!” 

Another beat of silence, and Lena can almost feel Sam’s heart beating out of her chest as she rests her head against it. “Um, you guys remember that I’m Jewish?” 

“Right,” Sam thinks for a second. “Shabbat Shalom?”

“That’s not-” Alex sighs fondly over the line, and Lena rolls her eyes as she smacks Sam’s arm, mouthing, ‘seriously?’ as Alex lets out an awkward chuckle. “Okay.” 

“Idiot,” Lena murmurs into Sam’s shoulder. 

“I’m not an idiot, Lena, that’s just the only-” 

“And the bickering is back,” Alex interrupts them, making them both snap their mouths shut and exchange a glance. Then there’s shuffling in the background, and Alex sighs again, less fondly than before. More irritated, than anything. “I have to go. Try not to strangle each other before I get back, okay?” 

“No promises,” Lena mutters, before Sam shoots her a look. She shuts up after that, rolling her eyes and plopping her legs in Sam’s lap. “Night, Alex!” 

Alex’s voice is soft as she returns, “Goodnight, Sam.”

Almost as soon as she puts the phone down, Lena stares at her, “I can’t help but think Alex could punch you in the stomach and you’d still have that smile on your face.” 

"I'm just smiling because- did you hear what she said? At the end there." When Lena arches an eyebrow in that curious way that asks for more elaboration, Sam can barely get the words out without grinning. "She said for us not to strangle each other before she comes back . So she's coming back," 

"It's just an expression- she probably means coming back to town. That doesn't mean she's coming back to work. Don't get your hopes up," 

"But- she said-" 

" Sam ," 

Sam shoves her, lifting her legs up and off her own lap as she stands. “Shut up and come to bed,” she huffs, reaching down to pull Lena up along with her. 

“As long as you let me take that god-awful sweater off you first,” Lena purrs, ignoring Sam’s eye roll as she trails behind her. 


“So which one is it?” 

Alex almost drops the phone, her hand going to her stomach as she whirls around to see her mother standing in the doorway of her childhood bedroom. She hadn’t noticed how long she’d been zoned out since hanging up on Sam. “What?” 

Eliza looks at her knowingly. “Which woman is it? That you’re dating?” She pauses, then seems to correct herself, “Or should I say- avoiding ,” 

“I’m not- how do you- shut up!” she stammers, cheeks burning when Eliza only continues to stare at her. “Mom.”  

Like a shark drawn to blood in the water, Kara emerges from the hallway as if she can sense Alex's discomfort through the walls. "Alex is dating?” She glances at Alex, eyes wide. “Did you actually google poly-"

She points at her, and sends all her energy into a solid glare that gets Kara to shut up with a sheepish smile. Her eyes though, they are alight with the desire to know more, and Alex knows she won't let up any time soon.

"I can have friends without having to date them. Isn't that what you two wanted? For me to meet people, and... hang out. Have drinks. Talk about things," 

Eliza wrings her hands together. There's something she's not saying, a wrinkle in the corner of her mouth. "Yes, but-" 

"Then that's what I'm doing. Being friendly with people." Alex huffs, dropping her phone - face down so no snooping family members read anything - and stands up, shepherding her mother and sister out of the room. "We just work together, that's all." 

She doesn’t mention that it isn’t technically ‘work’ anymore, but rather worked’ , past tense. 

She's very clearly pushing them out, but Kara stops in place, a broad grin spreading across her face with a sudden realisation and - shit . "Oh? So it was them?

There’s something rising in her chest - she doesn’t know whether its embarrassment or what, but she groans, dropping her head in her hands. “Kara.” 

“Alex has two girlfriends!” Kara cries out excitedly, bounding over to Eliza and grabbing onto her shoulders. “She’s growing up so fast, hasn’t she, Eliza? Golly, how time flies-” 

“I’m older than you, Kara,” Alex points out, but Kara ignores her, continuing to ramble on about Alex’s supposed-to-be-private love life. 

That doesn’t deter her sister, though. If there’s anything Kara has never taken into consideration since coming to live with them, it’s Alex’s privacy, and that hasn’t changed a bit as she’s grown up. “Have you guys gone on a date yet? Have you kissed? Oh my gosh, Alex, you have to tell me everything. Does Isa like them? That’s a big sign of compatibility-” 

“I’m not telling you anything,” Alex argues, “because we’re not dating. Like I said, we’re just hanging out. We’re friends.” 

It sounds like a lie to her own ears coming out of her mouth, but she avoids looking either of them in the eye as she turns away, clearing her throat. They are friends, and will probably only ever be friends, to Alex’s chagrin, but… 

It still feels like they’re so much more. 

She shakes her head; she can’t think about this now. She’s been doing too much thinking. She needs a break. Eliza isn't saying anything, and that's somehow more terrifying than being grilled by her. 

She clears her throat, desperately changing the subject. “Hey! We have to light the third candle?”

“Oh, no,” Kara pulls on her shoulder. Behind her, Eliza stands silent, but smiling knowingly. “You don’t get to avoid this conversation!”

“Yes I do. Mom-“ Alex tries to get her on her side, tries to play the ‘Kara’s being ridiculous please tell her to stop’ angle, but- that smile. That smile . “Mom, Kara’s- she’s teasing me! I’m not dating them both, that’s... obviously I’m not dating them both.” 

“I have to meet them properly,” Kara continues, almost bouncing on the spot. “We’ve gotta go out together!” 

Alex finally, finally pushes them both just by the threshold. “No,” she says firmly, and swings the door shut in their faces. It almost makes her feel sixteen again, slamming her bedroom door and plopping down on the bed. She still remembers her many, many fights with Kara all those years ago that had ended in a way not too unlike Alex’s reaction tonight. 

She looks to the window, out towards the beach. The sun is just beginning to set, casting a pink glow over the water, which crashes over in big waves. It almost makes Alex’s mouth water as she watches the foam disperse once it hits the sand, her eyes flicking towards the surfboard leaning against the wall in the corner of her room.

Her body aches for it despite knowing that her old hobby as a teenager wouldn't work out for her now, with a body that can still feel the wounds of war as though they just happened yesterday. 

She sighs. Surfing was always a good way for her to stop thinking so much, to focus solely on choosing the best waves and getting up on the board. Right now, her head feels too full of thoughts, each one racing past faster than the last. 

This thing she’s feeling for Sam and Lena is so new, and she feels like she did when she first came out all those years ago, grasping for anything to keep her afloat and keep her from drowning in a sea of doubt and confusion and new, overwhelming experiences. She’s never felt this way before, for two women, nonetheless.

After seeing a lot more blood and death than she had ever wanted to overseas, there is not much that draws a reaction out of her, but this- 

This scares her.

“Alex!” Kara’s voice drifts up the stairs. “Eliza’s ready to light the candle!” 

“Coming!” Alex shouts back down to her distractedly, staring down at the phone on her bed. She blows out a harsh breath. 

She’ll wait to deal with this when she gets back. 


It creeps up on her a few days before New Years Eve.

The restlessness. The aggravation. The night terrors. She can feel herself growing more and more uneasy as the days leading up to New Years pass by, and she can’t seem to shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen, so full of anxiety that she feels like she could throw up. 

Eliza, of course, is the first to notice it, when she startles at a mug crashing to the floor. Her mother’s eyes are locked onto hers the second she breathes out and starts to sweep up the glass shards. 

“Honey? Are you okay?” she checks, and Alex nods jerkily. It's the little things like that, she realizes quickly, that point towards something worse that’s building up inside her. 

“Yeah, sorry. Just tired, I guess,” she shrugs, hoping her mother takes the excuse and lets it go. She knows what it is, knows that it’s New Years Eve and Kara’s constant chattering on about their plans - a picnic on the beach before the festivities start, watching the fireworks together and having dinner together afterwards.

But she doesn't want to let Kara down, so she's tried to at least not be downright dismissive of her ideas. It doesn't help that Kara is the type to take her silence as a 'yes' to the plans. 

"It's getting worse while you're here, isn't it?" she asks, already knowing what it is. Her eyes linger on the tags around Alex’s neck, the ones she’d left back in Midvale before she moved, and Alex shifts uncomfortably, wrapping her hand around them as if to hide them from her mother’s gaze.

"No it's not," she lies, but it's a weak lie, and Eliza purses her lips as she watches Alex walk over to the trash. She pulls away when Eliza puts a hand on her shoulder. She's tense, so it's a jerky movement that just draws attention to the fact that she's definitely not okay. 

"You want to go home," It's not a question, but a statement. She knows already. 

"I am home," Alex argues, but Eliza holds up a hand.

"You know that's not what I meant," 

She's reluctant to admit it, but some part of her knows Eliza is right. This isn't home, and the fact that it isn't surely isn't helping her deal with the time of the year. "Kara's so excited so I don't want to ruin this for her. She hasn't been excited for New Years in... a long while," 

Eliza's shoulders sag as she sighs, lips pursed as she stares at Alex. "You don't have to put on a brave face for her. She'll understand if you can't stay for the fireworks," 

“No,” Alex insists. She shakes her head, resolute. “It’ll be fine, Mom.”

“Alex-” 

“I’ll be fine!” It comes out harsher than she meant for it to, and she regrets it immediately when her mom’s eyebrows raise at her tone. Trying to push back the agitation, she grits her teeth and repeats, softer this time, “I’ll be fine. It won’t be like last time.” 

Last time, meaning one of her worst memories of her time with Maggie, who’d started doubting their relationship as soon as she witnessed Alex’s reaction the first time they watched fireworks together. It’d only gone downhill from that point, until their inevitable break up a few months later. 

“Alex,” her mother tries to reach for her again, but Alex shifts away. “Your father always-“ 

“-said the same thing,” Alex finishes her sentence for her, throwing her arms up. “Yes, Mom, I know. I know he said the same thing. We all saw it. But I’m not like Dad, I’m fine.” 

She knew this was a risk when she enlisted - to become like her father, who, after decades of service, could barely function enough to take care of his family up until his death. And, while there are some triggers that bring back horrifying memories of her time in active duty, she’d made a promise to both her mother and Kara that she’d come back as herself , rather than the shell of a person Jeremiah became.

But if she’s being honest, it isn’t just New Year’s Eve and the inevitable issues that’ll stem from it that’s got her on edge. She can feel everything inside her building up and up, ready to burst, and she runs a hand over her face, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. 

“I- I fucked up with them, Mom.” 

She doesn’t look at Eliza when she says it, keeping her head down and her hands covering her face. “I had- I could’ve had a good thing, and I just- I just left .” 

Somehow, Eliza doesn’t have to ask what she’s talking about. “I’m sure you can still have that good thing, sweetie.” 

But can she? She’d made an impulsive decision, telling them how she felt — and for what? In a perfect world, they would have all confessed their feelings to each other in that moment. They would’ve gone on a date, and refused to let Alex quit. But that isn’t what happened. 

“You’ve always been an overthinker, Alex,” her mother points out. This time, when she reaches for her, Alex doesn’t jerk away. “It’s another thing you got from your father. You can never let yourself be happy without digging too deep into whatever it is making you feel this way.”

Sometimes, Alex wishes her mom could just be wrong about something for once. 

"I'll admit, it did surprise me when Kara started telling me about the two girls who fell in love with you," Eliza muses, and that just makes Alex cringe, immediately about to respond but Eliza doesn't let her get a word in. "But I guess it makes sense. You've got so much love to give, and if what I hear is true, they've opened their family up to you because they want to love you back." 

"So you think I should just go back there, and... what? There's no... it was easier with Maggie. I knew how to... I knew what was expected of me. I can ask out a girl, I've seen it happen a million times. But with Sam and Lena, I just... what am I meant to do?" 

"I'd think you of all people would know that the easy way out isn't always the best choice. Running from it isn't going to solve anything," 

"Then what do I do?" 

"Talk to them," Eliza responds, as though it should be obvious. 

To Alex, it sounds ridiculous. "I don't even know if they ever want to see me again," she shrugs. She tries to play it off, shrug like it isn’t a big deal, but they both know by the way her shoulders slump that it is. 

"Well, there's only one way to find out," at Alex's blank look, Eliza lets out a sigh. "Go home , Alexandra.”


Ruby has already found herself up in the shelves as she normally would be, reading one of her Christmas presents (which she'll probably be done with by the afternoon). There's a soft dusting of snow on the ground outside. There are kids playing, tossing handfuls of it at each other, it isn't quite able to be made into snowballs but that doesn't seem to deter them.

Lena's content with just sitting by the window, her hands curled around Sam's comically oversized mug as she sips at her coffee. The coffee is slightly too bitter, and on the edge of being too sweet, but she drinks anyways, watching the cars roll on by, and the people move about at a different pace. 

The gentle crooning of carols from the record player set her at ease. She's wrapped up in a soft wool sweater, and despite the chill coming in from the still-drafty windows, its... good. 

She can't ever really shake that sense that she doesn't belong here. This town was never part of her past, she never grew up in a place like this. Winters had been long coats and staying indoors, the brief moments of leaving the house were always rushed, and they would never have been allowed to play in the snow like that. 

"Ruby," Lena calls, and turns her head to the stacks. Ruby pokes her head from around a shelf, eyebrows raised expectantly. "Don't you want to go out there with the other kids?" 

The girl looks confused, walking over to look outside the window at what Lena had been staring at, book in hand. There's a moment where her brow furrows, she considers it, before giving her head a shake. "Nah. Unless you're trying to kick me out for a reason-" 

"No I... I just thought you might want to.” 

"And leave you alone while you're all think-y and sad? No way," Ruby rolls her eyes, plopping into the seat across from her. She brings her socked feet up onto the table in front of her, and opens her book up again. 

"Think-y isn't a word," is the only response Lena can muster, and Ruby rolls her eyes. 

"Shakespeare made up a whole bunch of words and nobody stopped him for it, so..." Ruby arches an eyebrow, and Lena scoffs at her, unable to hide her smile in response. 

"Don't talk back to me. It's rude," 

"Alright. Silent mode activated," she intones robotically, and returns her attention to her book. 

It's another fifteen minutes till Sam decides to grace them with her presence, and after a quick greeting she gets to removing the last of the decorations. They'd removed most of them, only the few garlands on the rafters were a little too difficult for Lena to reach, even with the step ladder. 

"I can't believe Christmas is already over," Sam muses while dragging down a length of tinsel. It's not a particularly interesting observation, it's something that Lena feels like she'd hear frequently if the cafe was open today, but it seems to hit her differently today. 

She's finished her coffee, and the cup is now cold. Ruby continues to lounge across from her, now in an increasingly uncomfortable looking pose as she reads. As Lena swats her arm, she nearly tumbles out of her seat, catching herself at the last moment with a glower in Lena's direction. 

"Come and help your mother," Lena hisses, and Ruby purses her lips, closing her book with a snap before trudging after her. 

Working as a team inevitably gets things sorted out faster. Despite all her complaints, Ruby does help, carting away the decorations to be stored in the attic later. Sam doesn't seem to take it as work at all, eventually she starts a small game, trying to throw decorations into boxes that Ruby holds up over her head. 

And Lena? She manages the operation. It's what she does best, after all. She can't help but smile at the shenanigans, even if Ruby does come dangerously close to backing into a display one two many times. It's worth it, for the smiles on their faces, the bright sounds of Sam's laughter, and Lena wonders how she got so lucky. 

It’s only because of the buzzing of her phone in her pocket that she’s able to tear her eyes away from the pair, and her heart nearly stops completely when she sees the caller ID. 

“Alex?” 

Sam instantly swivels her head around at the mere mention of the name, and Ruby even gets an excited grin on her face. She waves them both off and answers the phone, ignoring Sam's pleas for her to put the phone on speaker. 

"Is this a bad time?" Alex's voice is quiet as she asks, and Lena realises she must have heard the ruckus in the background. She shoots a glare at Ruby and Sam, and quickly responds. 

"No, no. It's alright. It's a good time, it's- how are you? What's wrong, darling?" The term of endearment slips out before she can think about stopping it. She can hear Alex's breathing, irregular but strained, like she's trying to get it under control, filtering through the phone. 

"... why would you think something's wrong?" 

"I... you don't sound alright. Did I just catch you on the tail end of a nap?" 

"Yeah- I just woke up, yeah. So... what are you doing?" 

She looks over at Sam and Ruby, who are both trying and failing to look like they're not listening in on her phone conversation. There's a cheap plastic ornament on the ground that they haven't yet noticed, so to get them to work Lena picks it up with one hand, and tosses it towards them. 

It arcs perfectly and plinks Sam in the back of the head harmlessly. "Cleaning up," Lena says, as Sam turns around, rubbing at the back of her head, shocked. "We're getting ready for the new year," 

"Oh, nice. Any plans?" 

"Apart from getting these displays up and ready for the second, not really," she says the next part a little louder, hoping to spur Sam into getting back to business. "But at the rate we're going, we might be getting the self-help books out by Valentines' Day," 

"Hey, that'd still work," Alex says with a weak chuckle.

"And what about you? What does the Danvers Family do for New Years?" 

" We used to light fireworks on the beach. Obviously we don't do that anymore, but Kara still wants to go out to watch them anyways," 

"You don't sound very excited about that," 

"Well... it could rain. I don't wanna be caught out in the rain. The weather here... you'd have to see it to believe it. I didn't know the sky could hold that much water. The fireworks won't light and the sand will be all soggy. The wind will be crazy, and I-..." It's obviously an excuse, she gets into a rant and all Lena can really hear is how her rambling is clearly a cover for something she's nervous about, but won't admit. 

So Lena interrupts her. Keeps her voice calm. "It hasn't rained here. There is snow, though. So if you're coming back, you'll have to be careful, because they don’t plow it over here. I think it’s ridiculous.” 

There’s a long stretch of silence from the other end. Long enough to make Lena feel slightly uncomfortable; she knows they haven’t been cut off, hearing the static come through, but Alex isn’t saying anything. She doesn't even realise she's said anything worth pausing over. 

That is, until, “If I'm coming back?" 

"Yes, if you... I mean, you're welcome to come back, you're always welcome here. Even if you aren't working with us..." Lena takes a breath. "We do like having you around," 

There's another long pause, and Lena contemplates hanging up, wonders if there is any point salvaging such a disastrous call, when Sam rushes over to the front counter, grabbing a pen and quickly scrawling a note down on a post it before slamming it next to her. 

It takes Lena a second to realise what the note says, the hasty scrawl almost illegible as she listens to the static, listens to Alex holding her breath. 

No more wasted time

She touches the corner of the note briefly, remembering their promise, and she looks up to catch Sam's eye, finding the courage for a brief and stupid bit of honesty- "I miss you." 

God- I miss you? She nearly cringes at the honesty in her statement, in the sheer warmth that she can feel radiating from her own tone of voice, but then she remembers that this is Alex . Alex, who she’s allowed to be warm with. 

The static crackling over the like nearly drives her mad. But then, “You- Lena Luthor misses me?” 

It’s teasing, but Lena can hear the slight genuine surprise in her voice, as though she can’t quite believe that Lena could ever miss her. But at this point, Lena can’t imagine ever not missing her. 

“Yes,” she replies, straightforward but still a tad nervous at Alex’s response. Across the room now, Sam is watching her carefully, softness etched in her features. “I miss you, and Sam misses you too, you twat. You should have seen her, it was pitiful.” 

“Hey!” 

The desperate attempt to minimize the genuine affection in her statement with name-calling and a slight towards her girlfriend doesn’t work; there is a heavy cloud of tension that has fallen over them, even from miles away. Lena can hear Alex breathing softly through the phone, and she finds herself digging her nails into her palm, uncharacteristically anxious. 

Then, “I miss you guys too.”

Lena breathes out a sigh of relief. So she didn’t overstep.

“A lot, actually.” Alex continues, to her surprise. “I might… come home earlier than I planned.” 

“You are?” Sam is suddenly right next to Lena, screaming into her ear, so close Lena can feel her breath on her neck. Lena smacks her on the arm to get her to back up, but Sam just sticks her tongue out. A child. “But- don’t you want to spend more time with your family back home?” 

“Yeah, well. Midvale doesn’t really… feel like home anymore.” 

The telltale jingle of the bell above the door rings out across the cafe area. They are well into the shelves, so Lena can't see who it is, but Sam turns around to shout at them from the ladder- "We're still closed! Come back tomorrow!"

It's early morning, so Lena figures that the likelihood of it being someone that wishes to steal or something like that is relatively low. Still, she feels a chill down her spine, and it sure isn't from the draft that comes in through the open door, and the following silence. 

But then there's a skittering of paws, and heavy breathing as Isa bounds around the corner, and as Sam scrambles down the ladder at such a speed, Lena barely has enough time to hold out an arm before she goes plummeting to the ground face first. 

"Calm yourself down," Lena hisses as she nearly drops her phone, holding Sam back to little effect as Isa collides with her knees, jumping up for a pat. 

"You calm yourself-" Sam very maturely responds, about to say something else but stopping to a halt as she spots someone coming around the corner, phone still in hand, smiling at them from across the room.

"I've barely been back for a minute and you two are already fighting," a familiar voice calls out, echoing into Lena’s ear through the speaker of the phone, and Lena’s heart nearly stops as she hangs up and turns around to come face to face with Alex. 

She’s immediately drawn into a hug. She melts into it almost automatically, without even thinking about it, recognizing the feeling of toned arms around her waist and soft hands sliding up her back. 

“Hi,” Alex says as she pulls back, a smile tugging at her lips. It’s honestly adorable, and the look in her eyes makes Lena’s heart beat even faster. 

“Hello,” she responds quietly, before there’s the obnoxious clearing of a throat and a finger tapping against her shoulder.

“Hey, yeah, you guys know I’m here too, right?” 

Alex chuckles as she pulls away. Lena misses the warmth of her body wrapped around hers immediately, but the look on Sam’s face when Alex turns towards her is enough to bring the warmth back, seeping into her chest. There’s something different about her, there’s a weight that has lifted off her shoulders. Lena can’t fight the smile on her face as Sam tries and pretty much fails to lift Alex up as she hugs her, and Alex curses before bursting into laughter. 

“Wow, I didn’t know I’d be missed this much.” she laughs as she runs a hand through her hair. It’s messier, seeming as though it’s grown longer in just the time she’s been gone, the red strands falling in her face and reaching almost to her chin. 

Then Lena registers her words. Immediately, there’s a question lingering on the tip of her tongue, a ‘how could you not?’ but Sam seems to beat her to it. 

“We miss you whenever you’re not here.”

It seems to come out of nowhere for her, as though she didn’t mean to say it, the words blurting from her mouth of its own accord, because she seems surprised when they come out. 

“Wow, that sounds so clingy,” she chuckles nervously, tugging at her turtleneck. 

“It doesn’t,” Alex assures her quickly, holding a hand up and looking between both of them. “I missed you guys too.” At that moment, Isa barks excitedly, and Alex smiles. “And it seems Isa missed you just as much, if not more.” 

Lena notices throughout the next hour that Sam looks more relieved now, smiling softly as she listens to Alex talk about her time in Midvale. Lena listens to the stories here and there as she works, chuckling under her breath slightly whenever Alex talks about her sister’s shenanigans. 

But while things are, for the most part, back to ‘normal’, the reminder that Alex quit is still hanging over their heads. 

Alex seems to know it too, if the way she looks at Lena across the cafe is of any indication. 

After about two hours, Isa gets restless, pacing in front of the door. Alex pats her head and looks up at Sam and Lena. “I, uh, I should be going. I have to unpack and feed Isa, you know…”

“Right!” Sam agrees. “Yeah, no, go home, get settled! We’ll talk tomorrow when you get here for-” She cuts herself off abruptly, biting her lip and frowning deeply. “I mean, whenever you drop by.” 

Lena sees the way Alex’s throat bobs as she swallows hard. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll drop by.”

Somehow, even with the heat on full blast, the bookstore seems to grow a lot colder once Alex is gone, disappearing down the street and around the corner. 


“You’re thinking too much again.” Lena practically materializes behind her, startling Sam enough to make her jump, a hand flying up to her chest. “It’s about Alex, isn’t it?” 

Sam groans as she looks over her shoulder at her girlfriend, who’s watching her with a knowing expression. “Yes. When is it not lately?” 

There’s been too many thoughts in her head for the past few weeks, and they’ve all been Alex. She’s had Sam wrapped around her finger since the first time she smiled. There is a plethora of feelings she has swirling around inside, and even one look from Alex can leave her paralyzed. 

Frankly, it’s starting to piss her off.  

“Usually I’m the one overthinking things. You’re going to put me out of a job,” 

Lena is well versed in reading Sam’s avoidance strategies. Right now, she acts as if the top of the nearest bookshelf needs dusting, running a finger along it and tutting under her breath. Lena doesn’t need to be wearing heels to know that she’s clearly acting. “We need to clean. We can’t go into the new year with old dust. It’s bad luck.” 

Sam heads towards the stairs at a brisk walk, a woman on a mission. Lena follows, she’s not about to let Sam run away with this any longer. 

Sam gets one foot on the stairs before she’s tugged back, Lena’s hand on the back of her shirt. “We both know you just cleaned the shelves this morning. We need to discuss this-”

“What is there to say?” Sam throws her hands up in defeat, but doesn’t leave the top step. 

“You like her,” it’s a simple fact, one they’ve both come to terms with, but saying it out loud makes Sam wince. 

“I do. But that doesn’t- that doesn’t mean anything-“ she steps down then, doesn’t make eye contact with Lena as she pokes at her chest. “I love you .” 

She’s trying to be cute. She’s trying to be cute to distract Lena. Lena captures Sam’s hand with her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We know it’s not like that, darling.” 

“Then what is it like?” She feels frustrated, but Lena flashes her a smile that melts some of the frustration away instantly. 

“Well... we can continue to dance around the issue, come up with reasons why it wouldn’t work, and live the rest of our lives wondering what it would be like, or...” 

“Or?” 

“We could give this a try. Give the three of us a try.” 

“It’s just-“ Sam trails off, glancing back at the door as if that can somehow help clear her thoughts, “It’s a lot more complicated than just telling her how we feel. I mean, there’s the both of us. What if she doesn’t like us both? And then there’s Ruby-“ 

That’s it. It all clicks. Ruby. Sam is worried about Ruby, and Lena knows how to fix that, it’s an easy enough fix. “We should tell her about Alex.” 

Sam inhales sharply. “What? That’s- let’s not talk about this here. The walls have ears and all,” she hisses at Lena, eyes widening. But just as soon as the words leave her mouth, there is the telltale sound of hurried footsteps, Ruby scurrying away from the stairs. 

Sam groans, dropping her head into her hands. “Great. Now I’ll have to go talk to her.” 

“I’m sure she’ll understand,” Lena assures her. “Don’t worry about it. If anything, she’ll get so excited she breaks something.” 

Sam frowns, “We haven’t even asked Alex yet, we have no idea if it’s going to-” 

“As if that’ll deter her,” Lena scoffs.

That doesn’t make Sam feel better. She practically drags her feet on the way to Ruby’s bedroom, her heart thumping. She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous; it isn’t like Ruby hates Alex, and what Lena said was right. She’s not doubtful that her daughter will react with anything but excitement and joy.

Still, it’s… new to her, telling Ruby these things. Even when it was just Lena; they’d been alone so long it’d become their version of normalcy.

She raps two knuckles on the door of Ruby’s room and peeks her head in. As expected, her daughter is pretending to already be asleep, messily wrapped in her blankets and obnoxious snoring. 

“Rubes,” Sam calls out. “Ruby.”

Ruby pokes her head out of the cocoon she’d made for herself, eyebrows raised. “Oh, Mom?” She rubs at her eyes and yawns, stretching her arms above her head. “What- what are you doing here? Is it morning already?” 

Sam rolls her eyes. “I know you’ve been awake this whole time, Ruby,” she tells her, smiling softly at Ruby’s response - a sheepish smile and the sudden avoidance of eye contact. “I’m not mad. In fact, I think we need to talk.” 

Ruby sits up in bed. “About Alex?” she asks, then shrugs. “I heard you and Lena talking-” 

“Yes, about Alex,” Sam confirms, sitting on the edge of the bed. She clasps her hands together, staring at herself in the mirror on Ruby’s wall. “How would you feel… if Alex started coming around more?” 

Ruby frowns. “She’s over everyday. Like, she practically already lives here.” 

Sam bites at her lip. That’s… true. “Well, in a different way,” she explains. “Not just as our barista. Or even our friend.” 

Ruby draws her legs in towards her body, a furrow in her brow as she studies her mother, studies Lena, who lingers in the doorway. Casual save for the tension in her shoulders, and that silent worry in her pale eyes, the slight tick in her firm set jaw. 

“So it’s true then,” Ruby fidgets with the corner of her blanket, glancing between Lena and Sam. “You two really are trying to like, date her .” 

Sam shifts. “Well, we haven’t exactly… brought the idea up to her yet. That’s actually what Lena and I were talking about downstairs. We don’t even know if she’ll say yes.” 

Ruby rolls her eyes, giving them both an exasperated look as she sits up more in bed. “Mom, are you kidding?” 

Sam looks back at Lena. “Am I-” 

“Obviously Alex likes you guys back!” she exclaims, arms flailing outward. “God, grown-ups are so dumb sometimes.” 

“Hey,” Sam points at her. “Watch it, young lady.” 

Ruby snaps her mouth shut, but Lena huffs out a laugh beside Sam. “She has a point, Samantha.”

"I wouldn't mind. If you dated her. I want you to be happy, and Alex is really cool. Maybe she'd make you less lame-" 

"I'm not-" Sam mutters, but Ruby shuts her down. 

"You are. But that's irrelevant. You're nearly thirty mom, and you can't keep asking me for permission to do stuff. Be a grown up and just take the initiative," 

Lena chuckles at that, but she's not free from being roasted by the twelve year old either. Ruby focuses her attention on her, and narrows her eyes. "Why are you laughing? You're the same- no, you might even be worse . It took you so long to get with my mom and-" 

"Okay, that's enough roasting for one night!" Sam holds up her hands just as Lena arches an indignant eyebrow in Ruby's direction. 

They plan on taking Ruby's advice the next day. Really , they plan to. There's a distinct shift in the air, it’s lighter, clearer, now that Ruby knows. But they don’t take Ruby’s advice the next day. Nor do they take it the next day. In fact, they’re so busy with the store, now having lost one employee, that it takes almost four whole days until they can even invite Alex over for a drink. Enough time for New Year's to come and pass without much fuss. 

Lena is already in the cafe when Sam comes downstairs, sipping from a cup of coffee. She hasn’t even bothered to put on makeup this morning, glasses still perched on her nose, and Sam raises an eyebrow. 

“I was lazy,” Lena drawls when Sam approaches, and that only shocks her more, because she can’t recall the last time Lena Luthor was ever ‘lazy.’

Then she remembers the night before, how they’d both gotten wine-drunk and spent the night watching cheesy holiday movies they’d forgotten about on the DVR. “You’re hungover, aren’t you?” 

Lena doesn’t look at her, simply taking another long sip of her coffee. “Of course I am, Samantha.” 

It's then that they both turn to look at the door, as the telltale jingle of the bell above the door rings out through the store, and Sam has to lunge forward to stop Lena’s mug from tipping as she almost drops it. Alex hurries inside, a rush of frigid air and snow flurries blowing inside before the door shuts again. 

"You're not gonna believe how cold it is out there-" Alex starts, shrugging the snow off her coat like this is some regular occurrence, entirely oblivious to the twin expressions of shock on Lena and Sam's faces. 

Lena blinks. "What are you doing here?" 

Alex frowns as if it’s a weird question. "My shift starts at nine?" 

"But you quit," Lena continues to stare at her in disbelief, as if she doesn't believe that Alex is really there in front of her. "I read your resignation letter and-" 

"April Fools?" 

 Sam glances at the calendar, as if to double check that it isn't January. It is, January the second to be exact. "Not that we aren't happy to have you here, but... why?" 

The word brings them all pause, as a cold hush settles over them. Alex stays standing near the door, her hand twitching like she wants to reach for the handle. Sam doesn't move her hand from where it rests, holding Lena's mug steady. Lena's eyes don't move from Alex's face, reading every minute expression that crosses her features. 

"Why?" Sam repeats, a little quieter this time. "Why'd you leave? Why did you come back now?”

Alex bites her lip, she can't hold their gaze for much longer. Sam steps forward, and the anxious expression on Alex’s face makes her ache to reach towards her. “I-” she sighs then, and something seems to shift inside her, because she straightens up, rolling her shoulders back and breathing out harshly. “You know why-" 

"No," Lena interrupts, her voice probably harsher than she intends, cutting across the quiet like a knife. "We actually don't. Treat this as a job interview, you want your job back? Then explain why you just left us with some generic resignation letter and disappeared for a month-"

“Lena-” Sam tries to calm her down, a hand on her shoulder, but Lena stands up anyways. Alex is chewing on her lip now, eyebrows furrowed, as Lena continues. 

“If Samantha upset you in any way-”

“I did not!” Sam insists, glaring at Lena. 

“-just let me know and I’ll have a talk with her,” she continues on, completely ignoring Sam’s shout of protest. 

“It wasn’t… just Sam.” She sounds almost defeated, like she’s admitting something she’s ashamed of.

Now both of their eyebrows shoot up. Just Sam? What was that supposed to mean? 

Alex seems to realize how that sounds, because she rushes to explain, frowning and blushing furiously. "I wouldn't exactly say you guys upset me, it’s just-“ 

She breaks off. Her mouth snaps shut with an audible click, and the nervousness radiating off of her is practically palpable. “Alex,” she calls out gently. She reaches over, a hand on Alex’s forearm. When did the space close between them 

The action makes dark brown eyes stare down at the contact, the blush spreading from Alex’s face down to her neck, even appearing on the tips of her ears. She clears her throat, shifting nervously again, and-

“I left because I had feelings for you. Both of you.” 

Feelings. 

Next to her, Lena is uncharacteristcally silent. Sam swallows hard, able to hear her heartbeat in her ears. Alex is staring down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with both of them. 

"I left because I didn't want that to get in the way of my job. I didn't want to get in the way of your relationship. So I went back to Midvale to see if that would- I don’t know- help things.” 

“Help things,” Lena echoes her, an eyebrow raised, and Alex nods almost sheepishly. 

“I thought it would get rid of the… feelings. But it didn’t. Honestly, it only made me miss you even more," Alex admits, finally looking back up at them. Her eyes glance between Sam and Lena, and she’s nearly trembling with anxiety now, and all Sam wants to do is comfort her. "I told you, Midvale doesn't feel like home anymore. Cause this is home for me. So..." 

She clears her throat, still glancing between the two of them, eyes wide. She’s wringing her hands, and Sam has known Alex long enough by now to know that she’s quickly approaching peak anxiety levels, so she reaches forward and takes Alex’s hands in hers without thinking. 

They’re cold from being outside, still shaking slightly, but Sam just leans down slightly to be eye level with her and smiles softly, reassuringly. 

"I just want to come back home. So... can I please have my job back?" 

Yes, Sam’s heart screams, but she says nothing. 

"Well we can't hire her again," Lena says rather bluntly, and it makes Alex's heart drop, until- "It'd be extremely unprofessional if we asked our only employee out on a date." 


They make plans for six. "Dress nicely," Lena had said, tugging on the sleeve of the flannel Alex had been wearing - "Not that I don't like this look on you, but it'd be a little out of place." 

They have plans at six, so Sam spends the rest of the day fretting. Tidying up things that are already clean, fussing about Ruby's attendance, about the weather, about what she's going to wear, about what Lena has decided to wear, she's a mess of nerves that eventually bursts right about four o'clock, when Lena sits her down and assures her that she can wait. 

They need to talk, and the uncertainty of it all makes it feel like the building itself is crawling with the anxiety that has Sam's leg jittering as she sits on the sofa in front of Lena now, eyes wide. 

"This isn't smart. We can’t just- just rush into this, Lena-” 

“Is that what we’re doing?” Lena asks, eyebrow cocked. Sam sighs, exasperated. 

“Yes,” she insists, arms flailing uselessly. “What if something goes wrong? What if she decides she doesn’t want to date us anymore?” Then she nearly chokes on her own words, eyes widening impossibly more. “Oh, God, she wants to date us. Both of us. How is this going to work?”

Throughout her mini freakout, Lena remains unimpressed, staring at Sam with much less anxiety than Sam herself feels. “Are you finished?” 

Sam frowns, but- “Yes.” 

“Good.” Lena clasps her hands with her own, warming them up. Sam’s shoulders lose just a bit of tension as she melts into the touch. “We will figure it out as we go along, darling,” she soothes her, green eyes calm. “We have time. We aren’t rushing anything.” 

She seems a little more relaxed, but there’s still a tension in her hands that won’t leave. Sam doesn’t give her anything, for a long moment they rest in that tense silence, before Lena has had enough. 

“What is actually bothering you? Is it the date?” 

“It never- it was all fun and games when it was just us flirting around the coffeeshop, you know?”  Sam lets out another heavy sigh, her brow furrowed as she glances off into the distance. “I never expected it to get this far, I never thought we’d be going out and- and dating and going for dinner where people could see us and that’s a whole other can of worms that we haven’t even started to think of and-“ 

Lena feels a ramble coming, so she lets go of one of Sam’s hands to pinch her lips shut. “Those don’t seem like problems we can solve with what- forty-five minutes until our first date with this woman,” 

“Mmph-“ Sam protests, but Lena doesn’t let her go until she’s finished. 

“And, Samantha, aren’t you the one who constantly tells me to ignore what people think?” There’s a reason, after all, that Lena hasn’t been dressing as though she’s still running a multibillion dollar company in the city, all diamonds, thousand dollar dresses, and five inch heels. She’s changed, inside and out, without the need to constantly look her best in front people waiting for her to trip up and fall.

Sam shakes her head to break away from Lena’s loose grip. “But that’s-“ 

Lena arches an eyebrow, and the intensity in her gaze makes Sam’s words falter, her sentence fizzles out. “We will burn that bridge when we come to it,”  

And just like Lena had hoped, Sam’s lips quirk up at Lena’s false seriousness, and she can’t help but smile back at her. “That’s not the saying and you know it,” 

“It seems more fitting in this circumstance.” 

Her stomach is still full of anxiety, though, her head spinning, and Sam lets out a heavy sigh as she leans into Lena, resting her chin against her shoulder. “I just- I don’t want to mess this up.” 

Lena nods. Her hair brushes against Sam’s cheek. “Well, if we haven’t scared her away yet, I doubt we could scare her away now.”

Sam purses her lips. “That's… true.” 

“Now, go get ready,” Lena pulls her up and pushes her in the direction of the closet, a hand slapping Sam’s butt as she passes. “We don’t want to be late.” 

“Okay, okay!” 

They still end up being late, with Alex somehow managing to get there first. Perhaps it's Sam's constant fretting as they walk over that makes them arrive ten minutes after they were supposed to be there. Either way, it is cold outside as they reach the small window, light spills out of the slightly fogged glass, but Lena immediately recognises the familiar dark red hair of the other woman, as she runs her hand through it. 

She's taken their advice, that much is obvious, but Lena doesn't spend much time staring through the window before Sam is dragging her in, that previous nervousness all but gone now. They walk in, Sam's hand almost too tight around her wrist, and Alex stands up she runs her hands over the front of her button up shirt, smiles earnestly over at them. 

She did take the advice- although Lena notices the leather jacket over the back of her chair. 

"You made it! I mean of course you did, you guys wanted to meet here anyways but I-" Alex starts to ramble, and it makes Lena's chest feel tight, the adorable way she scrunches up her nose, shakes her head when she realises what she's doing. "You were just running a little late and I- I thought you two changed your mind or something. Or I went to the wrong place..." 

Sam chuckles, "There aren't that many restaurants in town," she points out. “Especially ones as fancy as this.” 

"Don't underestimate my capacity to fuck things up. I kind of have it down to an art," Alex mutters darkly, before flashing them both a smile, walking around to pull out two chairs. 

Sam rests her hand on Lena's thigh as they settle in, and she feels Lena's own slightly clammy hand tangle with her own. They're both nervous, and when she glances over to see green eyes filled with the same doubts as she's sure are in her own, she decides to speak first. 

"This restaurant... they have some pretty decent wine.” 

Lena purses her lips and Sam can feel her sigh. Alex glances up from the drinks menu and gives her a nod. "Any favourites?" 

"Not really," Sam's lost for a minute, so she does the logical thing. "Lena?" 

"Just get something red. Surprise us," 

Alex's answering smile is somewhat strained, she waves down a waiter and puts in her order for a bottle of mid-range shiraz. 

The lights in this building are too yellow. Sam can't help but notice Lena's discomfort, and she thinks it's for the same reasons as her own. The restaurant is rather empty, not a lot of people seem to come to the fancier establishment. There are a few older couples here and there, but the three of them stand out, and the servers seem to be eyeing them curiously every time they pass. 

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe even something romantic. But Alex is red in the face and just as nervous as they are, and Sam feels herself growing more and more regretful with each passing minute. Being so open about this, three women going on a date, publicly, is what makes her skin crawl not with disgust but with anxiety. 

What are the servers thinking? What will the town think, if they go further with this… thing between the three of them?

Sam swallows past a sudden, thick lump in her throat. What would Patricia think? 

As if sensing her own developing discomfort, Lena’s hand squeezes hers, and her breath tickles Sam’s ear as she whispers, “Breathe, darling.” 

“I-” Alex cringes, still beet red, “I think I should go. You guys should have dinner by yourselves, this wasn’t a good-” 

“You leave and you’re fired,” Lena snaps despite her own obvious awkwardness, only somewhat seriously, stopping Alex dead in her tracks as she moves to stand up. The redhead sinks back down into her seat, clearing her throat, and Lena cocks an eyebrow. “Now, we’re going to continue this date with all three of us, isn’t that right?” 

Alex scoffs, “You literally yelled at me out for quitting earlier.” 

“Isn’t that right?” 

She looks sharply between Sam and Alex as though they’re misbehaving children receiving a warning. “Yes,” Sam and Alex say at the same time, waiting until Lena leans back into her seat to breathe. 

It serves to cut into the tension between them, and Sam can’t help but be grateful for her girlfriend’s intimidation to be too much for even Alex Danvers herself. She sighs, imagining that the awkwardness and anxiety are flowing out of her as she exhales heavily, slowly, and she clasps her hands in front of her on the table, racking her brain for something to say.

It turns out she doesn’t have to. Glancing across the table, she sees Alex’s lips quirk up into a small smile, and then into a full blown grin, before she breaks. A laugh escapes her, shoulders shaking, and she bows her head. 

“This is ridiculous,” she stammers through a fit of awkward laughter. “We’ve known each other for months now. We see each other almost every day. Why are we acting like this is a blind date that my sister set up with one of her coworkers two weeks after my fiance left me?” 

Sam and Lena exchange a look. “That was… specific.” 

“Speaking from experience?” Lena inquires, and Alex looks up at her, the corner of her eyes crinkling. 

“Yeah. She spent the whole time on her phone and got a taxi back to her apartment as soon as we left the restaurant.” 

Sam winces. “Ouch.” 

Alex just shrugs, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. Beside her, Lena shifts, digging through her bag. “Shit, that reminds me, I’ve got to check my email-” 

“Oh, stop it,” Sam gently elbows her girlfriend in the ribs before she can pull out her phone, shooting an exasperated look towards Alex when she snickers under her breath at the exchange. “Don’t encourage her,” 

Lena gives Alex a sly look over the table, and Alex eases into her chair a little, the confidence returned. “You’d really use such a cheap excuse on me?” 

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Lena scoffs. “We were the ones who asked you out, after all. We chose the venue. I’d ask you to leave if I didn’t want you here,” 

Alex laughs at that, but it’s a shallow thing, one that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She glances between the two of them again, like she doesn’t quite believe what her eyes are telling her. “Why do you want me?” 

Lena looks over at Sam, and she’s baffled by the expression she finds. Sam’s eyebrows have shot right up, and her lips are pursed like she’s trying to hold in water. For a second she wonders if the nervousness has made her partner physically ill, but Sam slowly shakes her head, and lets out a big sigh as if she’d decided to hold in a week’s worth of air in her lungs. 

And when all the air is out, she blurts- “Actually, forget dinner. Let’s get out of here.” 

It’s Alex and Lena’s turn to wear the shocked expressions. Alex’s entire face goes an impressive shade of red in a split second, and Lena is trying to understand where the hell that utterly idiotic proposition came from. 

“It’s- the lights- I think they’re giving me a headache. I can’t think straight. I’ll order pizza. Come home with us?” 

Absolute word vomit of the highest order. 

But somehow, miraculously , Alex doesn’t throw her drink in Sam’s face. She doesn’t get up and storm out, or laugh. She only tilts her head to the side, her eyes unreadable as she muses, “My place is closer,” 

Sam grabs the bottle of wine by the neck — and when did that get here, by the way? — and starts to stand, digging in her pockets and tossing a wrinkled fifty on the table. Alex stands too, and shrugs on her leather jacket, tapping on Lena’s shoulder gently. 

“Hey, princess, you alright?” she asks, genuine concern in her eyes, “I know we said we’d behave on our date, but this place is way too stuffy,” 

She shakes her head to get herself out of her stupor. Sam is waiting, coat on, gripping that bottle tight but she looks a lot more relaxed at the prospect of going somewhere else. “Yes- I- of course,” she replies, and Alex smiles, offering her a hand. 

Her hands are softer than she’d thought they’d be. Calloused, sure, but so gentle as she guides Lena out after her. She doesn’t take her hand away as they walk out, so they stay holding hands as they burst back out onto the street, into the dark of night, the bristling cold. 

 “Fuck,” Alex mutters under her breath, and her other hand seeks out Sam. She’d been smart, worn one of her long coats with it’s fur lined hood. “Should have worn a bigger jacket,” 

Sam offers Alex the wine. She takes it, and as she lets go of Lena’s hand to uncork the bottle, Lena can’t help but feel the chill. The brisk air gives them all a chance to think , as they get back to reality, walking away from the shops and restaurants towards Alex’s part of town. 

“It wasn’t the lights,” Sam admits, as they get to a street corner, Alex seemingly giving no concerns to who sees as she tips her head back and drinks straight out of the bottle, wiping her mouth after her heavy sip. 

“Figured as much,” she muses, and Sam gives them both a wan smile. 

She stews on her next point for a while, past two, three, four stores before eventually she asks, “Did I ruin-“ 

“No!” 

“Don’t be stupid, of course you didn’t,” Lena retorts, fiddling with the collar of her coat. “I wasn’t looking forward to eating that garbage anyways. Any restaurant that is this far inland with lobster on the menu isn’t to be trusted.” 

Alex snorts, and offers Sam the bottle. “This is already a million times more fun than being in there. It’s just us, a bottle of wine- basically our usual Friday, huh?” 

It is nothing like their usual Friday. 

“I just thought that you might like to- you know. Hang out like we usually do. And not in a restaurant. Because you seem to have been on a lot of dates before-“ 

Alex arches an eyebrow, and Lena wonders if it’s possible for Sam’s nerves to overtake her usual natural charm any more than they already have. “Darling, can you stop talking and take the bottle?” 

Sam stops talking and takes the bottle, going for a big gulp that makes Alex laugh. The sound rings out across the empty street, warming them both up better than the cheap wine ever could. 

They take three more steps, with Sam drinking wine out of the bottle like a champ until there’s a high pitched shriek to Alex’s left and she turns around to catch Lena a second before she plummets ass-first onto the ground, her stilettos scrabbling for purchase on the sneaky patch of ice. 

Her eyes are wide, and her fingers dig into Alex’s bicep painfully but she holds her steady regardless, as Sam showers the sidewalk with red wine as she laughs. 

“Fucking ice!” 

Alex leads them to a small park that looks rather dark and ominous at night, barely lit. The big trees with their bare branches look bone-white, but it doesn’t matter as she leads them through, until eventually Lena complaints of a sore foot become insistent to ignore and they find a barely damp bench to sit on. 

It’s cold and late, and frost is forming over every surface, in a way that makes Alex wish that the moon was out, so she could see world dusted in silver. Since she came back to the states, winter had always been her favourite season. 

Apparently, it isn’t Lena’s. 

“Babe, it’s fine,” Sam reiterates for the millionth time, kissing Lena’s temple as if that would soothe the ache. “Nobody saw it,” 

“I’m not upset because my pride was hurt. I’m upset because my ankle is broken-“ 

“It’s sprained,” Alex corrects immediately, her fingers prodding gently against the bruised skin of Lena’s ankle. “You’ll live,” 

“I may never walk again,” Lena huffs, and Alex glances up at Sam over Lena’s shoulder. 

“Is she always this much of a drama queen?” 

Sam chuckles, the laugh coming out as a white cloud the cold air. “Oh yeah,” she confirms with a nod, looking fondly at Lena even when the other woman shoots her a pointed glare. “She always has been. That’s what makes her, her.” She pauses as she reaches to grab Lena’s hand. “It’s part of why I love her so much.” 

Alex smiles softly, but Lena just rolls her eyes, and rests her head on Alex’s shoulder, shooting a dark look at Sam. “Quit being a sap and give me the shiraz,” 

Sam mocks her in a snooty voice- which almost gets her a slap, but she hands over the nearly-empty bottle anyways. 

It starts slow, barely even noticeable. If Sam hadn’t been paying attention, she would’ve thought it was raining at first, until she notices the small white flurries that are beginning to rush past them towards the ground. It’s not strong enough to stick yet, they melt as soon as they hit the concrete, leaving the grass glistening, but it’s snowing nonetheless. 

Sam closes her eyes, bright smile spreading across her face. “It’s a holiday miracle-“ 

“Great. Just what we need. More trip hazards,” Lena mutters, but Sam elbows her gently in the ribs. 

“It’s snowing .” The snowflakes drift towards her face, and she wipes at her cheeks. “We should make snow angels.” 

“Are you five?” Lena snaps, though her tone is amused, her expression fond as she looks over at Sam. “Besides, it’s not even sticking.” 

“It will soon enough,” Alex pipes up as they watch the snow pick up, the snowflakes getting fatter now, coming down quicker. And it’s true - they’re starting to stick to the ground, covering it in a thin sheet of white, and Sam practically vibrates with excitement. 

“Can you walk?” Alex asks after a moment, and gets an answering grumble against her shoulder from Lena. 

“Under duress, perhaps I can.” 

Alex helps Lena up, and in typical Sam fashion, Sam is twirling around with her hands out, almost in her own world for a moment. It brings a smile to Alex’s face, the little glittering snowflakes stuck in her dark hair, and it reminds her of skating on the lake-

“I want a divorce,” Lena growls darkly, and Sam’s answering laughter is bright. “Stop showing off, you-“ 

She’s dancing about in the falling snow, frollicking around them. Alex is holding Lena steady, and she’s several feet away, so she can’t do anything as she watches Sam step on a patch of ice, and start to slip. 

She can’t do anything but mutter under her breath- “ Timber-“ as she watches long legs start to go down, and she had hoped that it wasn’t loud enough for Sam to hear, but then Lena bursts out laughing in a very unladylike manner. 

“I meant to do that!” 

Lena's eyes roll. “Sure you did.” 

They scurry towards Alex’s building — it isn’t far from the park at all, just a few blocks, and luckily the snow isn’t powerful enough to slow them down yet. Lena is surprisingly quick despite the “broken ” ankle she’d suffered before, although she’s still clutching onto Alex’s arm, and all that Sam got after her tumble was a damp coat and a bruised ego. 

“Watch out, Isa’s been very excited today. She might knock you down,” Alex informs them as she unlocks the door. Even through the thick wood, Sam can hear the excited barking of the pitbull from inside, nails clacking repeatedly against the floor and scratching at the door. “I’ll go in first. Sam, can you take Lena into the living room?” 

“I am sure I can walk perfectly fine by myself-” Lena bites back, but Sam jumps in first, tugging her by the hand down the hall. 

Once they are settled in the living room, damp coats stowed away, the heater fighting off that latent chill from being out in the cold a little too long, a sense of calm washes over the three of them. 

It even affects Isa, apparently. She’s somehow burnt up all her energy, she’s up on the sofa next to Lena, her chin resting on the woman’s leg as she dozes off. 

Sam rests her arm over the back of the sofa. She’s watching Alex fondly, despite what Alex thinks is an infinitely more adorable situation with Lena and Isa right now. 

“So we’ll see you tomorrow?” 

The answer comes naturally. There isn't any place she'd rather be, really. There's no point in trying to run from this anymore. "Of course. Who else is gonna make Lena's coffee in the morning?" 

Lena snorts under her breath, and Sam chuckles at the unladylike sound in a manner that gets her a swift backhand to the arm, but her eyes are full of fondness for them both, and an almost silent relief. 

The bottle of wine is finished but Alex doesn't feel like they really need any more. She's warm enough already- it settles in her chest as she sinks into the familiar comfort of her own sofa, into the familiar comfort of the two women she's come to associate with home

She must be wearing her emotions on her face, because Sam's expression softens when she looks over at her and gives her that smile. 

"Alex.”

Lena calls her name, but her voice is almost hesitant. That in itself catches her attention more than the simple utterance of her name. And it makes her nervous, because now there is no invisible boundary set in place, there's no script. The hush that has settled isn't easily broken, and so she defaults to what she knows best. 

Instinctively, she tries to run. 

"I'll... get us some drinks," she stands up and makes to go towards the kitchen, but Lena catches her by the wrist. Her hand is soft, but it traps Alex in place. 

“Don’t you dare do that,” Lena snaps, not unkindly, keeping Alex frozen just with the look she’s giving. “You’re going to stay right here with us.” 

Stay right here. 

And she knows Lena isn’t trying to be deep and secretly reference what had gone down just a few weeks ago, but Alex feels it in her chest, the impact of her words. Something she hasn’t done recently is stay, but she finds herself not wanting to leave the room despite every traitorous cell in her body screaming for her to get out. 

It tugs at her heartstrings, just a bit. She doesn’t know how in the course of a few weeks she’s gone from actively quitting her job, to not wanting to leave them for even a minute to get drinks. Perhaps it’s because now she isn’t worried about her feelings being unrequited. Now she knows

Alex can’t fight a smile at the thought, and the way Lena’s touch makes her skin tingle. “So you two... you really like me, huh?” 

Lena laughs. “It’s the reason why Sam wanted to hire you in the first place.” 

Sam is embarrassed, if the bashful way she glances to the side, tucks a lock of hair behind her ear with a spectacular blush on her cheeks is anything to go by. “You also had a really nice... resume.” 

“You liked me because of my... resume?” 

“It was nicely formatted-” 

“She’s a liar. She never read your resume.” 

“I… skimmed it,” Sam defends herself meekly, but Lena pulls a face. 

“No, you didn’t, I was the one doing the hiring-“ 

“Do you guys actually want me to get some drinks?” Alex interrupts their bickering intentionally loud, and both of their heads snap towards her. “Something to warm us up a bit?”

“Scotch, neat-“ Lena begins, but Alex holds a hand up. 

“I meant like- hot chocolate, or apple cider,” she explains with an amused smirk, as Lena frowns and sinks back into the couch cushions. 

“I suppose an apple cider will do.” 

It's a complete opposite to the awkwardness in the restaurant. It almost feels normal- even though they've never spent time together like this in her apartment. Like it's natural for her to see Lena sitting with her legs tucked underneath her, still absently patting a now dozing Isa. It's normal for her to find Sam with her sleeves rolled up and a soft look in her eyes, one hand running through her hair. They talk quietly while she's getting drinks ready, and as she comes back they make space for her in between them. 

Cider for Lena and hot chocolate with way too many marshmallows for Sam. 

"So... what are the Luthor-Arias holiday traditions? Christmas, right? How was that?" 

"Well this was actually the first year we didn’t both cram in work until the absolute last second. And I'm still grateful for the fact that I hadn’t been invited to a million different corporate holiday parties," Lena tells her, sipping idly at her cider. “Too many arrogant, cocky assholes in business suits and not enough spiked eggnog.”

"We don't really have any traditions," Sam glances over at Lena, poking at a marshmallow bobbing in the foam of her hot chocolate. "When I was a kid, I’d go to church. It was always Patricia's thing. I remember she would dress me in this hideous, uncomfortable plaid dress and tights. All her church friends would grab my cheeks and tell me how adorable I looked, but I just wanted to disappear into the bathroom and never come out.” 

“Well, at least Patricia never forced you to engage in ‘family movie nights’ with the Hallmark Channel on,” Lena mutters, and it seems to be a sore spot, because the face she shoots towards Alex is part-exasperated, part-traumatized. 

"Hey! Those Hallmark movies were classics -" Sam protests, and Alex bursts out in a laugh at the genuine offense on her face. "Alex- no, you've gotta be on my side-" 

“They’re all the same!” Lena argues, throwing her hands up and nearly spilling her drink in the process. “Two strangers meet on accident in some embarrassing yet convenient way, they know each other for perhaps two weeks before they fall in love, denying that they’re in love the whole time until they finally kiss at the end and realize their feelings were mutual. How is that possibly a classic?”

Alex and Sam share a glance. It's purely accidental that she catches her eye when she does, of course. "Because it's romantic," she shrugs. 

"It's unrealistic.”

"Is not," Sam retorts, and Lena rolls her eyes, equally as mature.

"I don't think it's unrealistic," Alex tries for the middle-ground, Lena glares at her in response, while Sam grins, taking it as a victory. "I mean- Sam, stop grinning like that, I was going to say something-" 

"You're saying that I'm right, and that's clearly all that matters. "

They get lost in their bickering, but of course, it’s only during the brief moment of silence that Alex’s stomach decides to let out a loud growl, causing both Sam and Lena to snicker. “Right. I forgot we came here to eat,” she laughs sheepishly, climbing off the couch. “I can order a pizza or-” 

“Actually,” Sam cuts her off apologetically before she can continue, and Alex turns back with a rock in her stomach. “It’s gotten pretty late, and we still need to pick Ruby up. We should probably get back.” 

Alex tries to fight off the growing disappointment at that, hoping they’d have more time. As if they aren’t going to see each other tomorrow morning. “Right. No, of course. We’ll… continue this some other night.”

"A raincheck," Lena is reluctant to move, especially with the pitbull's head on her lap. She gently pries free but despite her best efforts, Isa notices her leaving and jumps up, snuffling her hands as she tries to set her back to sleep. "No darling, sleep. Don't- ugh-“

Despite knowing Sam, and knowing she’s a hugger, it still catches her off guard when two long arms wrap around her midsection and pull her in. Sam is warm and comfortable, and Alex can’t help but melt into it, her hands on Sam’s shoulder blades. 

“I’m really glad you’re back,” she whispers, and then she pulls away, much too soon. The words are somehow impossibly soft, and Alex inhales deeply. She wants to lean forward, wants to finally press her lips against Sam’s like she’s been craving for the past few months they’ve known each other. 

But she doesn’t. She knows she has to wait for the right time, and it’s far too early into… whatever they’re doing, to do that. Especially while Lena is staring over Sam’s shoulder at her like that, with a knowing look on her face and an amused smirk, making Alex’s ears burn. 

She doesn’t want them to go. She aches to just tell them to stay, spend the night, anything in order to keep them from leaving, but instead, she steps back into the apartment and leans against the doorframe. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow?” 

“Yeah,” Sam breathes out, cheeks pink. “Bye, Alex.” 

She shuts the door, fighting back the urge to watch through the peephole as they walk away. Isa whines behind her, nudging at her ankles, and Alex reaches back to scratch her head. “Ah, I’m fucked, girl.” 

Isa looks up at her and tilts her head, as if agreeing, and Alex can only sigh in defeat.


It's almost too easy to fall back into the way things used to be. 

She gets to work early, parks her bike in the alley next to the store, hangs her helmet and jacket up in the back room. She can already hear the sounds of conversation in the bookstore, and she steps in to see the lights aren't quite on yet, but the sun filters through the shelves, as does the sound of voices. 

"I think we should get a painting of Isa, and she should be wearing a top hat , not a fancy frilly dress." Ruby says, and it sounds like this discussion has been going on for some time, because Sam is nearly slumped on the counter, her head in her hand, and a bored expression on her face. 

“Try to put a costume on Isa and you’ll lose a hand, kid,” Alex retorts as she rounds the corner. 

"Aww, but-" Sam starts, pout already set in place, but Lena bustles past, a look of pure disdain on her face. She doesn't seem to be a fan of the idea either. 

A few customers wander in through the course of the week, none of them truly notable. That seems to be the case with the first few weeks of January, after the chaos of the holiday season things feel a little muted. A return to normalcy. 

But for Alex, things are only just about to get more chaotic. 

It starts with Sam, in that lull between the morning and afternoon, brushing her hand against Alex's to get her attention. "Quick question," 

"Go ahead," 

Sam is a little nervous, and chews at her lower lip for a second before mustering up the courage to ask, "Would you like to go bowling with me?" 

"Sure," Alex says, and Sam sighs, relieved for just a moment before Alex continues, and that nervousness returns. "I'd love to see Lena in ugly bowling shoes. Ugly rented bowling shoes- I think she'd combust," 

"She refuses to even step into a bowling alley. I'm not talking about the four of us. I just meant... you know. The two of us. On a date?" 

Alex narrows her eyes just a bit, a smile creeping onto her face. Sam doesn't look at her, fiddling with the filter handle as if she didn't just clean it out a second ago. "Sam, are you asking me out?" 

"Depends on what your answer would be," 

"Does your girlfriend know you're in the habit of asking other women to go to the bowling alley with you?" 

Sam tilts her chin in the direction of the bookstore, where Lena is very obviously watching the both of them with interest, leaning against the counter, eyes trained on them both. "She doesn't think you'll say yes. She said, and I quote-" Sam raises her fingers to do air quotes, and does a snooty accent that sounds nothing like Lena's. "'Alex is a grown woman, Samantha . She wouldn't be interested in such a childish game,'" 

Alex stifles a laugh, and as if Lena knows she's being talked about, she huffs and turns to go elsewhere, her hair billowing behind her as she stalks off into the shadows. 

"The answer is yes, by the way," Alex answers, and Sam's grin is nearly blinding. 


She meets her on Thursday night, which Sam promises is the best day for going bowling. It doesn't look like it, when they show up to the alley. If anything, it looks like an abandoned building that’s meant to be in the beginning of a movie scene. Sam pulls into a faded parking space, and Alex stares up at the building with raised eyebrows. 

It’s covered in faded graffiti, a few of the windows taped up, and the door creaks ominously when Sam holds it open for her. She flashes a polite smile to the other women as she steps inside, but the smile doesn’t last long as her eyes land on the elderly man sitting on a stool behind the front counter. When he glances towards them, it’s as if they’re his first customers in years. Alex wouldn’t be surprised if they were.

Sam, however, isn’t too fazed by the place. "I used to love coming here when I was a kid! It hasn't changed one bit!" 

Glancing down at the carpet, the faded neon colours and the mysterious stains, Alex is sure it really hasn't. 

There aren't that many people either. In fact, there's barely anyone save for the old man, and one of the lanes is even down, the lights above it flickering and the wood cracked all the way down the middle. When the man asks for their shoes, he gives them a pair of ratty ones in return, and Alex glances over at Sam, questioningly.

“This is…” 

“Great, right?” Sam finishes, smile bright. 

"Do you want my honest opinion, or-" Alex starts, she doesn't want to rain on Sam's parade, but then she catches a glimpse of a teasing glint in Sam's eye. 

"It's a shithole. You don't have to pretend it isn't. But, despite what you may think, it is still functional. Emphasis on the fun in functional .”

Rather than looking for sizes, Sam goes for the ball that has the brightest, most obnoxious colouring which is slightly too big, and shocks her with its weight when she lifts it. 

Alex tries to go for something a little less weighty to be on the safe side. She tests it with both hands, before going up to the line, eyeing down the pins. 

“You’re holding it wrong.” 

Alex’s head snaps up as Sam’s voice pipes up behind her. “Excuse me?” 

Sam shrugs. “Hey, don’t get defensive,” she stalks towards her, and Alex inhales deeply as she gets closer. It’s like Sam is always warm, that warmth constantly radiating off of her. “Here, like this,” she says, adjusting Alex’s wrist slightly.

A nerve in her bad hand twinges when Sam moves it, but she tries not to let it show. "Maybe I want to throw it with both hands, how about that?" she remarks.

"Do we need to get you a ramp too?" Sam teases, and Alex glares over her shoulder. "I used to bowl with both hands... when I was twelve." 

Alex’s eyes narrow at Sam’s slowly growing smile. “You’re not winning yourself any points here, Arias,” she snaps, but Sam’s grin only gets wider. It makes Alex’s stomach flip.

"Golf rules? Lowest score wins?" 

"Last I checked this was bowling and not crazy golf," The weight of the ball - even in both hands - is getting uncomfortable, so she moves to place it back on the rack. That same twinge again in her wrist has her unexpectedly dropping the ball with a loud clang, and she winces as it echoes easily across the lanes. 

Sam picks up on what Alex isn't saying. She places her own ball on the rack next to hers, eyes searching Alex's face before she gently suggests- "They have a few arcade machines? And they do great nachos here. Amazing nachos, you'd be surprised." 

"Can we get them to go?" 

"Of course," Sam agrees, thankfully.

"Not that I don't like the... uh, decor,” she says this as her eyes drift towards an oddly placed fish on the wall, something that shouldn’t belong in a bowling alley at all, and the old man’s relentless stare is starting to make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. 

“I… actually know the perfect place we can go,” Sam suggests, but Alex looks at her hesitantly. 

“It’s not an abandoned movie theatre that probably has a family of bats living in it, right?” 

"A movie theatre..." Sam thinks on that for an uncomfortably long moment before shaking her head. "No, it's just a short drive out of town. We don't even have to leave the car. I'll let you choose the music?" 

Considering the early January weather, snow flurries still falling every few minutes, staying in the car is infinitely more preferable than bracing themselves against the cold. The heat stays on, old classics on the radio blasting through the speakers, and Sam even pulls out two blankets from the very back of the car.

“Ruby and I would travel a lot before moving here,” she explains when Alex looks at her in question, draping the blanket over her lap. “The amount of times that girl would forget her blanket on roadtrips, I swear…” 

Sam even gets a family sized serving of nachos before they leave the bowling alley, but it seems like she could probably finish this off on her own. The nachos don't disappoint, and neither does the view of the town from the crest of this small hill they’d found themselves parked on. 

“So how’d you know about this place?” Alex asks, which causes her date to freeze up before the words are even fully out. She asks mostly because it’d taken a few odd turns and a long backroad to end up here, something she would’ve never been able to find without having known about the spot before. 

Sam immediately shoves a handful of nachos in her mouth, a muffled 'hm?' sneaking out from the corner of her mouth as if she didn't quite understand the question. Well, it's more like she's evading the question, if her constant glancing about the place is any indication. 

“Sam?” 

“I, uh… Well-” 

Alex tries to backtrack at the sight of Sam’s face, a sudden bright red, refusing to make eye contact. “You don’t have to tell me, you know.” 

Sam laughs, a burst of it to relieve the tension, and scratches at the back of her neck. "No, it's not... it's not a bad thing. It's not... I can tell you," 

Alex slurps at her soda expectantly. The noise rattles Sam, who finally glances at her. 

"So... I may have-" she murmurs something really fast, the rest of the sentence unintelligible, but Alex isn't an idiot. She puts it together, and it helps that she’d been able to hear just a few select words within her mumbling. 

"Did you lose your virginity here? Sam..." She scoffs in disbelief, eyes widening as she realizes. "You really brought me to the makeout point of this tiny ass town on our first date? Should I be concerned?" 

"Shut up," 

"We better not get too frisky. It's been years since you were here, the cops probably know about this place by now. I don't want to go in for making out like a teenager-" 

"Twelve years," Sam corrects immediately, clearing her throat awkwardly. "It's been twelve years since I was last here," 

Twelve years… Alex grins slowly, the last piece of the puzzle fitting together. "Sam? Isn't Ruby twelve years old?" 

The quarter-full basket of nachos are shoved into her face. "Nachos?" 

Alex barely holds back from swatting the distraction out of her face. " Sam!" 

Sam drops the basket on her lap and throws her hands up in defeat. "Okay, fine! Maybe I did. What are you gonna do? Now you know. Congratulations." She's not mad, more embarrassed than anything, squirming in her seat and crossing her arms like she's being scolded. "I didn't come here for a lecture on my poor life choices okay? I just wanted to-" 

“Whoa,” Alex holds her own hands up. “Nobody’s getting lectured here. I’m teasing you, Sam.” 

Sam blinks slowly, as if having to process Alex’s words. Then a sort of sheepishness comes over her features, and she bites at her lip. “Oh.” 

Alex smirks. “So… Was it worth it?” 

She just barely ducks the hand swatting her way, as Sam scowls at her. "You're an asshole, you know that? I'm sensitive. You can't make fun of me. I might cry," 

"Okay, I'm sorry-" 

"The only thing I got out of it was Ruby,” she rolls her eyes. She seems less tense now, starting to smile as Alex watches her. “I mean, I’m grateful for it. I don’t know what I would do without that kid.” 

"And did the... other participant know? About Ruby." Alex feels like she’s treading on thin ice for a moment, but Sam doesn’t seem to mind the invasive question too much, shrugging. 

"He didn't want to stick around, but I can't blame him for that. We were both young and stupid, if I had a chance to walk away back then, I probably would have done the same, you know?”

"But you didn't," Alex clarifies. 

"But I didn't. And my mom hated me for keeping Ruby, but I think she would have hated me even if I didn't. It was just a lose-lose situation with her, I guess. But I’m happy with my choices.”

The pensive look on Sam's face that follows that admission isn't something that Alex is used to seeing. She's so used to the relentlessly optimistic Sam. The Sam who hums to herself in the coffee shop, who takes every day in stride with a smile and a laugh. 

She isn't sure how to follow this. If she herself should be honest. If she should be quiet, and leave Sam to her thoughts. But there's one part of what Sam said that resonates with her. 

"I get that. I understand. The whole... choices thing. And being happy with them, even though they've caused you so much shit. My family never understood why I'd want to join the military, especially after what happened to my dad.” She rubs her hands on her pants, not looking at Sam but instead gazing out the window at the snow falling. "But I did. And maybe it wasn't the best choice, it fucked me up in so many ways, but it made me who I am," 

Sam reaches out wordlessly to hold her hand. Tentative, gentle, she holds Alex's hand between her own, and Alex holds back the wince as the old injury rears its ugly head yet again, that tight pain in her wrist making her freeze. She can only hope that Sam doesn't read that as a rejection.

"I almost lost this hand in the same attack that lost me one of my best friends.” The words just start to spill from her mouth, and they keep coming after that. "We were ambushed. She'd always thought she'd come back home, but if she didn't, that she'd go down in a blaze of glory." Alex huffs out a bitter laugh. "Like some kind of hero. But she was shot in the back. After that I knew I was done." 

Sam doesn't say anything. The words hang heavy in the air, and Alex wonders if she's fucked this date up even more now. She gets ready to dismiss the whole thing, ready to change the subject to something lighthearted, but Sam gently turns Alex's hand over, looking at the skin of her wrist. 

The angry scar is partially hidden by dark ink, the patterns over it intended to disguise it at a glance. But Sam trails her thumb over the edge of the scar, feels the raised skin, and Alex nearly shivers at her touch. 

Alex reaches her fingers up to touch the underside of Sam’s wrist and it halts her movements. Sam looks u and there’s really not that much space between them. Alex could close the space, to meet those lips again in a better first kiss than the awkward crash of lips and teeth under the mistletoe. 

But she doesn’t. Because the moment passes. 


Sam lingers in the threshold, and a fond smile crosses her face at the sound of laughter upstairs, both Lena’s and Ruby’s. 

The time for their date is drawing to a close, it’s getting late, and they both have work tomorrow. But Alex can’t shake the feeling that there’s still one more thing to do, this date isn’t entirely over

“I had fun tonight,” she says, and Sam turns around with a sheepish little grin. 

“Really? I thought I kind of messed up-“ she goes bashful, but Alex stops her with a lightning quick kiss on the cheek. It seems like a brief, impulsive decision on Alex’s part - her eyes shifty, movements slightly jerky, as if her body’s acting on its own, but she leans forward and presses her lips to Sam’s cheek, lingering there. Sam’s eyes close for just a moment, as long as it takes for Alex to pull away, laughing awkwardly. Sam’s skin burns where Alex has left her.

Alex freezes, still partly leaning forwards, before she stammers out a quick - “I... I have to go,” 

Yeah ,” Sam whispers, and repeats a second time, a little louder. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Alex chuckles, dark eyes amused at Sam’s reaction, and she tucks her hands into her pockets, walking back towards the door with a nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

By the time she gets to the top of the stairs, standing outside the door to her apartment, her cheek is still burning with the feel of Alex’s lips against it. 


Sam is filled to the brim with giddiness when she walks through the door. 

Lena looks up from the video game she’d been playing with Ruby. She’d never been much for video games, but the kid had practically forced her into it, and she’s thankful to have an excuse to drop the controller when she hears Sam unlock the door. 

“Ha! Killed you again, Lena,” she hears Ruby shout victoriously, but Lena ignores her taunting and gently pushes her over, Ruby falling back against the couch pillows. Her head pops up a second later, smiling at her mother. “Hey, Mom!” 

Lena slides off the couch and meets Sam halfway, leaning forward to give her a peck on the lips in greeting. “So how was it?” she asks, eager for all the information she can get about their night. By the look on her girlfriend’s face, it was a good one, and Lena bites her lip. 

"Oooh," Ruby jeers, drawn in by the promise of gossip like a shark to blood in the water, as a young teenage girl is often want to be. Lena gives her an arched eyebrow in response. "Okay fine , I'll go to sleep... but at least tell me Mom, did she like the bowling?" 

Sam laughs, and shakes her head. "Oh no, she hated it." The words say one thing, but the smile on her face says another, but the confusing answer is enough to tide Ruby over until she's able to ask more questions. 

Lena turns back to her once Ruby is gone, having shuffled into her room and shut the door, no doubt pressing an ear against it trying to listen in. She raises both eyebrows at Sam in question as they sit on the couch, Sam leaning back and sighing wistfully. 

“So, she hated it-” Lena starts, but Sam’s smile widens. 

“She did, but it was great. We went somewhere else instead, and just… talked.” It doesn’t sound like much, but the expression on Sam’s face makes it seem like she’d just had the best date ever.

"Just talked?" 

Sam rolls her eyes at the insinuation. "Yes, Lena. Just talked," she huffs, cheeks tinted pink, but Lena continues to pry. 

“And you didn’t do… anything else? Even towards the end?” 

“I mean-” 

Lena practically springs up from her spot on the couch, leaning forward in anticipation. “Samantha Arias, did you and Alex kiss?” 

Sam blushes even harder, but the sudden look of disappointment in her eyes tells Lena all she needs to know. She frowns, unintentionally deep, and the look must make Sam feel even more awkward, because she seems to sink into the couch cushions.

"Why not?" 

"Well... I wanted to. I really did. But we talked about some heavy stuff, and then we were on the way home and- but she did kiss me on the cheek! So we're making progress," Sam stammers, hands waving erratically in the air as she explains. Lena just watches pitifully, sipping a glass of wine slowly. 

“Right,” she nods. “Taking things slow.” “Exactly! But- God, Lena, I really wanted to. Honestly, though, I kind of wanted her to make the first move.” 

"For future reference, I wouldn't mind if you did kiss her," Lena starts, and before Sam can protest she holds up a hand. "I know you had your reasons and they didn't only involve me but... you know I'm on board with this. And I know that means you'll be intimate with Alex, and that's okay with me," 

"I know," Sam assures her, placing a warm hand on Lena’s arm. 

"I am very supportive. Enthusiastic, even. In fact, if perhaps you want to kiss her when she shows up to work tomorrow I'd thoroughly enjoy that-" 

"Okay, that’s enough, I think you’ve had too much wine," Sam says, and gently pries the glass of wine from Lena's hand, finishing it off and putting the empty glass on the coffee table. "But- yeah. What you said? You're okay with it? I'm okay with you kissing her as well. If you want to-" 

Lena smirks, and Sam can already tell that she's definitely thought about more than just kissing Alex. "Good to know," 

"But... at least go on one date before you do anything. Don't just hook up with her on the first-" 

Lena's brows shoot up and she gasps indignantly, her free hand resting on her chest. "Are you implying that I'm easy?" 

"Well, given your past history-"  Sam starts, but her words end up as a squeak as Lena pushes her back onto the couch. 


Sam is familiar with Lena's routines by now. By far the most bizarre is the way she gets ready. 

Sam is in the kitchen, getting dinner ready for her and Ruby, and in her periphery she can see Lena jogging from one side of the apartment to the other in varying states of dress. At one stage, she changes outfit entirely, and that gets Sam to finally look up from her boiling pasta.

"You're nervous," she points out, as if it’s not practically stamped on Lena’s forehead already.

"No," Lena huffs, as she struggles to get on her stilettos. She’s scowling, her tongue sticking out slightly, and Sam smiles at the expression.

"Then why'd you change from the red dress?" she asks, trying to wrangle a strand of spaghetti onto the fork to see if it's ready. "It was nice. Shows off your assets .”

"That's not the impression I want to be making on a first date," 

Sam winks at her over her shoulder, and Lena nearly throws a shoe at her before she remembers the pot of boiling water on the stove, and settles for scoffing under her breath instead. "Okay but how do I look?" 

She gestures to the new outfit, and Sam appraises her for a brief second before saying, "Beautiful, like always," which apparently isn't good enough of a compliment by Lena's standards. 

"Be honest," 

"I am being honest," 

"No, you're being polite- " Whatever Lena's about to complain about next is interrupted by a knock on the door. 

Sam glances at the time. Exactly 7pm. How long was Alex standing there waiting? 

"You're no help and I hate you," Lena shoots over her shoulder before opening the door with a wide smile. Sam goes back to her spaghetti with a roll of her eyes at Lena's antics. 

"Love you too," 

Lena pulls open the door, and there is Alex. Sam has to pause once she gets a glimpse of her, cause she isn't sure quite what she's seeing at first. She shuffles through the door with a large bundle of something under one arm, a brown paper bag in her other hand. Her hair pokes messily out of the beanie on her head, and what Sam is guessing is her nicer leather jacket because the black leather is unusually smooth and the jacket unmarked. 

"Please don't tell me that you brought me flowers," Lena grumbles, and Sam has to try not to laugh at that. 

"Oh no, I wouldn't make that mistake. These are for your girlfriend," Alex says, and Sam turns around to see her holding out the paper bag to Lena. " This is for you, princess." 

Inside is a bottle of scotch. Decent scotch, if the fancy label and the raise of Lena's eyebrows is anything to go by. It’s also obvious that Alex had most likely used most of her last paycheck to buy it. "Good choice," Lena muses, nodding appreciatively. “Nice to see you aren’t too oblivious.” 

Alex shuffles her weight from side to side, and now Sam can really make sense of what's in her hands. A bouquet of sunflowers. Alex looks up at her with a crooked smile, and Sam's heart seizes up just as she remembers- 

"Oh sh- shoot , my spaghetti," she gasps, and then she’s gone, leaving Alex and Lena standing alone in front of each other. 

“You look… gorgeous,” Alex practically gawks at her, and the way her eyes slide up and down her body makes Lena inhale deeply. “I mean- you always look gorgeous, but- wow.” 

Lena smiles. “Thank you.” And then, with a teasing smile pulling at her lips, “New jacket, I assume?” 

Alex ignores her teasing and smiled brightly- proudly, even, as she straightens out the collar of her jacket. “Got this baby last night.”

“It suits you.” And it does- it fits her well, not obstructing the delicate curves of her hips, and the tight pants she’s wearing finishes the look off nicely. 

“So, what do you have planned for the evening?” Alex asks her, tilting forward on her toes, a somewhat bashful smile overtaking her face as she mentions their date. The date that they’re on right now. That’s actually, finally happening. 

“You’ll see,” Lena replies swiftly. She’s not about to give it away, but still, the nerves that she’s been trying so hard to push down suddenly emerge again, as she contemplates whether or not Alex will be into this sort of thing. She’d booked the planetarium just for the two of them tonight. Not that there’d be many people there in the first place, it’s a small town, after all, but Lena had to make absolutely sure tonight would go smoothly. Meaning no annoyances or interruptions. 

She senses Sam watching them from the kitchen, and when she looks, she’s proved right by the way Sam’s head snaps back towards the pot, attempting for her eavesdropping to remain undetected. 

Caught red-handed, Sam curses under her breath as she stirs the pasta, the steam rising up. She glances over at them again, just for a second as they talk, hushed, before flicking her eyes back to the stove. It’s only when she hears Lena’s heels coming her way that she dares to look up again. “We’re heading out,” Lena says, as Alex flashes her a smile over her shoulder. “See you later tonight. Love you.”

"Love you too,"  

A quick peck goodbye and they’re off, and Sam unintentionally stares after them until she realizes there is hot water bubbling over the sides of the pot, and curses again. “Shit, shit-“

She pulls the pot off the burner hastily and switches the stove off just as Ruby enters the room, headphones on, phone in her hand. She goes to get herself a bowl of spaghetti and immediately heads back to her room, but Sam stops her. 

She snaps her fingers in front of her daughter’s face. “Hey,” she says, and then, when Ruby barely looks up, “Hey!”  

Ruby rolls her eyes. “Oh my God, Mom, what?” 

“We’re having dinner at the table together.”

Ruby frowns. “Uh- why?” 

Sam crosses her arms, shrugging. “Because you’re my daughter, and I want to spend time with you. Is that weird?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, well, too bad. Sit down.” 

It's been a while since she's had dinner with Ruby like this, with just the two of them. It's something that should feel familiar, but instead it's a little awkward. Ruby's eyes constantly glance to her phone, itching to get back to texting her friends, and Sam's mind wanders over various topics as they eat. 

The bookstore is doing well. The apartment could use a bit of touching up. She'd been reluctant to think of it as home at first, coming back to the bookstore had been filled with old trauma, had felt like returning to the scene of a car accident. 

But with Lena around, and then Alex, they'd stripped it of what used to make it painfully nostalgic, and now it was something else. The bones were still the same, but it was amazing what a fresh coat of paint, some new photos, and some new memories could do to a place. 

"So..." Ruby drawls, spiralling a few strands of spaghetti onto her fork, effectively shaking Sam from her thoughts. "They're on a date." 

"Yep," Sam answers briefly, staring down at her half-eaten bowl of pasta. She’s barely eaten like she would have normally, and Ruby seems to pick up on this. 

"Do you know where they're going?" 

Why is Ruby so curious? Sam sighs, rubbing at her face. She doesn’t know why she’s feeling like this. "Not really.”

"Aren't you like... worried or anything?" 

"We spoke about this before. Lena and I, we want to both have a chance at getting to know Alex on our own, individually, before we jump into something. You know, in case it doesn't work out with the three of us." 

"And your date was kind of a fail, wasn't it?" 

She can’t help but feel offense at Ruby’s lack of tact, despite being more-than-familiar with it after living with it for thirteen years. "Well- the first half wasn't that good... but the second half was fine! Alex just didn't like bowling. That's okay," Sam mutters, before quickly changing the subject. "Can you pass the salt?" 

Ruby grabs the salt, but narrows her eyes in a way that makes her feel like she's under Lena's analytical gaze. "So are you worried that Alex will like Lena more than she likes you?" 

"Why are you asking?" 

"Cause you're not eating. And you already put way too much salt in this, and now you’re worried about it because I said something, right?” 

“No I’m not!” Sam insists, but Ruby just raises an eyebrow, and- God, she learned that from Lena, didn’t she? “Ruby. You’re my daughter, you are not allowed to talk to me about my love life like this.” 

It’s stupid. It’s stupid, the fact that Ruby’s words are actually affecting her. They roll around her head for the rest of the dinner, up to the moment Ruby scoots her chair away from the table and disappears back into her room for the night, and keeps repeating as she pops open a bottle of wine and settles on the couch.

What if Alex likes Lena more than her?

No. No, she’s not going to do this. She’s not going to ruin her night because something Ruby said without thinking, and she’s especially not going to doubt what is going on between the three of them just because their date didn’t go as planned. It was… it was good.

Still, the thought won’t leave her head, and it stays there for the rest of the night.


The night is brisk as they walk through town, Lena’s hand curled around Alex’s elbow as they make their way towards the dimly lit diner a few blocks away from the bookstore, the same one she’d gone to with Sam and Alex all those months ago.

She’s been here only a few times since Sam had first introduced her, but it’s enough that the owner of the diner knows her name and her usual order now, if only because of her connection to Sam. 

“Here?” Alex asks, seeming surprised.

Lena shrugs, letting her hand slip from around Alex’s arm as the other woman reaches forward and grabs the door for her. “Yes, well, you especially seemed to like it. I figured why not? We might as well eat before our real plans for the night.” 

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up. “Real plans?”

Lena almost wants to be offended at her shock. “Yes. You don’t think I’d bring you to a shitty diner for our first date, would you? Do you think that low of me?” 

“Didn’t Sam take you here for your first date?” Alex reminds her as they slip into a booth, shrugging her leather jacket off. Underneath is a grey cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and Lena’s eyes linger on the ink that pokes out from beneath the fabric, and then down to Alex’s hands. 

Hands. Since when has Lena been attracted to something like hands on someone who wasn’t Sam? 

“Yes,” Lena confirms, eyes skimming the menu even though she already knows what she’s going to order. “But that’s different. This is Sam’s taste. It’s exactly what I’d expect of her.” 

Alex hums under her breath. "So what does that say about us?" 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Well... Sam likes trashy diners, she likes prehistoric bowling alleys, and she likes us. There has to be some kind of connection between these things," Alex explains, and Lena reels back in offense, a hand on her chest.

"I have nothing in common with diners and bowling alleys ,” she argues, but Alex just smiles at her, eyes rolling as she sets down her own menu and flags the waiter down.

"Okay, princess, I'm sorry I offended your delicate sensibilities.”

Lena scowls. "Stop it," she snaps, only receiving a wider grin in response. God, she’s infuriating. "I'll cancel the rest of this date. You'll have to walk home alone," 

"As if you would. I know you live for this," she insists. “You like it when I tease you.”

"This is not the kind of teasing I usually enjoy," Lena murmurs under her breath, though it’s still loud enough for Alex to hear her.

Alex's eyebrows shoot up at that, taken by surprise. "Oh really-" 

"Can I take your order?" 

Alex, Lena realizes soon after they order their food, is not the kind of woman to be too shy to eat on a first date. She orders a meal twice the size of Lena’s, and the way she squirts the ketchup directly onto the fries has Lena staring in disgust. 

“What?” she asks, stupidly oblivious. 

"Oh, nothing, I just can't believe you prefer your fries drenched in ketchup.” She makes a show of moving her fries over and squirting her own ketchup in the corner of the tray, like a normal, civilized person, looking up at Alex when she’s done to find narrowed eyes staring right back at her. 

Then, of course, the unexpected retaliation. Alex grabs the bottle of ketchup, and tracks a line across all of Lena's fries, from one side of the plate to the other, ignoring the way Lena gasps as she pops a fry of her own in her mouth without a care in the world.

Oh, this is a declaration of war

They don't talk on the walk to the next stage of their date. Or at least that's Lena's intention, but she gives in to the wheedling and the constant nudges from Alex eventually.

"It wasn't that bad," 

"Maybe it wasn't. But mess with my food again, and I'll-" She can't think of what she'll do, not when she looks at Alex and sees that crooked smirk on her face. Instead she pokes at Alex's chest, and the other woman has the decency to at least pretend that it was strong enough to send her stumbling a few steps. "Understand?" 

"Yes ma'am," Alex tries to keep herself serious, but there's just something about Lena that makes her want to just... she doesn't know how quite to describe it. 

She's just more put together than usual tonight, with her long black coat and her bright red lipstick, not a hair out of place. And Alex isn't going to lie to herself, she knows that nervous energy that has her wanting to bounce off the walls and bully Lena into abandoning this date is her own self-preservation instincts, wanting to mess this up since Lena is so out of her league. 

But no, no matter how much she pushes, Lena continues to walk towards wherever they're headed, without letting her know where they're going. And she always has a witty response prepared whenever Alex tries to tease her, and the conversation keeps going like that for several blocks. 

When they finally approach the planetarium, she hears Alex gasp from beside her, and she can’t fight the somewhat proud smile that appears on her lips. “Wait, is this-” 

“I booked it for the night,” Lena interrupts her, leading her inside. “So it’ll be just us. We’ve spent enough time rambling on about science that I assumed this would be the safest bet. I’m guessing I was right.” 

“Yes,” Alex nods in affirmation, a look of awe on her face. 

They choose seats in the far back despite there being nobody else in the building, and as the employee sets everything up, Alex turns to Lena and smiles, albeit a bit sadly. Or perhaps it’s nostalgic. “Back in Midvale, my dad and I used to go outside and look up at the stars for hours. We’d just sit out there, and he’d tell me stories about the constellations we could see. It’s one of my favorite memories of him.” 

Lena reaches over and grabs her hand. It’s warm, and Alex curls her fingers around hers immediately. “Possibly the best part of moving out of the city,” she laughs. “With all that light pollution, you’d be lucky to see one star in the sky.”

“I just…” Alex trails off, hand gesturing vaguely, before she smiles so softly that Lena feels her heart clench. “This is perfect, Lena.” 

She wants to brush it off, maybe scoff and say something like, well, of course it is, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just smiles back, shrugging a shoulder. “I’m glad.” 

Just then, the lights dim, and the narrator’s booming voice blasts from the speakers as he starts the introduction. Lena sits back in her chair, hand still clasped with Alex’s. Throughout the show, a comfortable silence falls between them, and up until this moment, Lena hasn’t realized how familiar Alex has become to her. 

The sound of the narrator’s deep voice is still echoing through the planetarium, and underneath it is the quiet hum of the projections on the ceiling of the dome. Above them, the projector shows different constellations and maps out the stars’ path. It’s so peaceful, it feels like it’s just them and the stars, and that’s when Alex pushes herself up from her seat and turns, hovering over Lena. 

Lena instinctively shifts her head to focus on Alex’s face, and it isn’t surprising when Alex let’s her head fall so their mouths are touching - except it is, just a little bit, but not enough to really bother her - and it’s like she knew this was always a possibility, that the night would end like this. 

They’re in the back with no one else but the narrator around, it’s dark, so Lena raises one of her hands from the arm of the chair and lets it drift up to Alex’s cheek, just allows the kiss to go where it wants to, sighs into Alex’s mouth as they press together more insistently.  It is slow and languid, all soft gasps and Alex’s fingertips brushing against the nape of Lena’s neck, and the faintest movement of Alex’s heartbeat underneath Lena’s palm. 

When they finally pull apart, Alex blinks at her, fingers tangled in Lena’s hair. And then, just as suddenly, the lights come on. It makes both of them flinch at the abrupt brightness, the narrator thanking them for coming, seeing them out, and Lena grabs Alex’s hand as she rises from her seat. 

"Thanks for this, by the way. I can't remember the last time I went to the planetarium," Alex says, as they wander out into the cold of night. She has her hands tucked into her pockets, and there's a blush that isn't entirely from the cold painting her cheeks and the tip of her nose pink. 

It never ceases to amaze Lena, the duality of Alex. 

"It's no big deal, really," 

Alex scoffs, taken aback for a moment. She pulls her hands out of her pockets just to gesticulate, which makes the corners of Lena's lips twitch with the beginnings of a smile. " No big deal , you booked out the whole planetarium just for me. That's- it's kind of a big deal. It probably cost so much, I don't know how I'm going to top this," 

"Did you forget about the whole 'Luthor' thing?" 

Alex scratches the back of her neck, pursing her lips. "No... well, kind of. You don't really seem like the limousine and caviar type, I mean I've seen you drink champagne right out of the bottle-" 

Lena glares at the reminder. "God, I'll compromise on most of my standards, sure, but I'm not drinking champagne out of a coffee mug," she scoffs. 

“Oh, never,” Alex agrees mockingly, and Lena glares even harder. But it's a short-lived glare, because while she's annoyed on the surface, beneath that is a kind of warmth that Alex has only recognized a few times in the months she’s known Lena now. It’s usually a look only reserved for Sam, but now that it’s directed at her, Alex swallows hard, face burning. 

And after that look passes on her face, she turns her attention forwards as they walk, and inches closer to Alex. She doesn't realise what she's angling for until Lena tugs her arm over her shoulder roughly, with a muttered- "Samantha never told me it'd get so cold here-" as some kind of excuse. 

"If you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do is ask-" 

"I don't cuddle . Besides, we’re walking. Walking isn’t cuddling.” 

They stop at the front door and Alex tugs at her until they’re practically resting against each other, Lena’s hands slipping to the small of her back, pinned between the hot weight of Alex’s body and the front of the bookstore. 

It’s slightly risky, Lena can’t help but realize, being out here like this, where anyone could see them. It’s not that she’s ashamed to be with Alex, per say, but the fact that they haven’t exactly gone ‘public’ with their new relationship sends spikes of panic through her.

But she pushes it down, because Alex is so close that she can smell the whiskey on her breath, and her gaze is so strong that Lena feels like she could melt underneath it. 

Alex seems to share her concerns, however, because her eyes flick around them for a second, as if checking to see if anyone is peering out their windows or walking through town at this time of night. When she sees that no one is, she turns her head back to meet Lena’s, and the press of her lips is so quick Lena has to push back the urge to chase her mouth. 

“Night, princess,” Alex winks— and that shouldn’t be enough to make joy burst, bright and hot, deep inside Lena’s chest, but it is.

She finds her way to the stairs of the apartment in the dark, tiptoeing up the steps as quietly as she can. It’s late, so Ruby is probably asleep, and there’s nothing more terrifying than a sleep-deprived almost-teenager. 

She doesn't expect for there to be a light on in the apartment, but there is. A single lamp on in the living room, Sam waiting on the sofa, a glass of wine in hand. 

Something is wrong. It's almost immediate, and it’s not just because she’s known Sam for years that she knows this. She puts the wine glass down when Lena gets in, and she can taste it on Sam's breath, beneath the desperation she pours into each kiss, as she backs her up against the door, it's almost unlike her, the frantic nature to their kisses, on a weekday no less-

"Sam," Lena breathes at a break in the kiss, and before Sam can continue down to her neck like she wants to, she gently cups her face, holding her back. "What’s gotten into you?” 

Sam completely freezes up at the question. “Can’t I just kiss my beautiful, amazing girlfriend?” 

Lena’s eyes narrow. “Of course you can,” she answers slowly, “but something’s wrong.” 

It doesn’t seem like a surprise to Sam that Lena’s able to see through her so easily, because she slinks down and groans, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. “You’re right, I just… can we sit?” 

A white-hot sense of dread shoots through Lena as she takes a seat on the couch beside Sam, who refills her wine glass and downs it before they’ve even started talking. An eyebrow inches up on her forehead as she stares at her girlfriend, who’s now wringing her hands, elbows on her knees. 

For a while Sam seems to be working up the courage to say anything, before the words come spilling out, jumbled and nervous, “I was- you guys just- it’s all Ruby’s fault, really!” 

Lena frowns. “What did Ruby do?”

Sam groans again, frustrated. “She just- she got in my head! Not intentionally,” she clarifies quickly, looking at Lena. “I know that. But she… she started talking about- about you and Alex, and I guess I just, I don’t know, got insecure.”

It takes Lena a few moments to process the meaning of her words. “Insecure?” 

Sam shrugs, expression sheepish. She reaches up and rubs at the back of her neck, a habit she must have gotten from Alex in the past few months. “You both are..." she pauses, letting out a sigh. "You're made for each other. Your date went perfectly. You've got so much in common and I'm just- I messed up my date with Alex. I told her way too much. I mean, why does she even like me? Why do you even stay with me? You’re perfect for her.” 

Lena reels back. “And you’re perfect for me ,” she snaps. It comes out harsh despite her not meaning it to be, but she finds herself growing angry at the way Sam is talking about herself. “Where is this all coming from?” 

Sam just shrugs again, eyes starting to water until she wipes the tears away before they can fall. "I’m just- I’m sorry, I’m just drunk, I should go to bed,” she insists, but Lena grabs her before she can stand up, practically tugging her back down so she falls back against the cushions with a huff. “Hey!” 

“Stop being an idiot, Samantha,” Lena rolls her eyes. "We're not done here. Do you hear yourself right now? You’re being ridiculous.” 

Sam scoffs, voice watery, “Ridiculous?” 

“Yes, ridiculous. This wasn’t a competition, Sam. Alex likes us both, and our respective dates do not decide which one of us she wants to be with. And, more specifically, it doesn’t dictate who I want to be with, and it sure as hell did not make me choose Alex over you. I love you, and I always have, and that hasn’t changed.”  

Sam shifts awkwardly. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Lena blinks. “That’s it?” 

"I mean I'm not going to argue with you when you put it like that. It makes sense," she clears her throat, avoiding eye contact. Then, her lips quirk up into a small but brief smile as she adds, "Also, you said you love me again. You sap." 

Of course. Lena rolls her eyes, trying her hardest not to smile. “Call me a sap again and that’ll be the last time you’ll hear it.” Then, more seriously, “Are you alright?” 

Sam purses her lips and looks down. “Honestly? I think I’m just overthinking.” 

Lena reaches over, cupping her face and brushing her thumb over Sam’s chin. “Overthinking or not, I’m sorry that you felt like this at all. I love you, and you shouldn’t have any reason to doubt that.” 

Sam doesn’t answer her, instead leaning forward and pressing her lips against Lena’s. She pulls away too soon though, and Lena is left chasing after her mouth with a frown. “Why don’t you show me then?” 


A few days later, Alex is late to work. It's odd, because she's usually there right on time, if not earlier. 

Sam tries not to think anything of it, but the anxiousness that had been gnawing at her around anything to do with Alex rears its ugly head yet again, and she can't help but think that Alex has decided that this isn't a good idea after all, and she's never going to come back to work, and-

"Shit, sorry. Slept in,” she mutters as she races behind the counter, hurrying to set things up for the morning rush. 

Sam narrows her eyes at her as she works. The sluggish movements, the bags beneath her eyes, the way she winces at the bright lights in the store are all indications of one thing. “Are you- are you hungover?” 

Alex freezes, her hand still in the air as she replaces the baked goods from the other day. “No!” Then, at Sam’s unimpressed look, she bites her lip. “Okay, maybe a little.” 

“Alex, it’s a Wednesday!” 

“I know, I know!” She shakes her head, then winces again, holding her head. “I just- I went out with a friend last night. It was totally unplanned, and so I crashed at her place in the city, which is also why I was late, and-” 

“You’re rambling, darling,” Lena breezes in like nothing like the hangover isn’t a surprise, simply looking Alex up and down. “Fun night?”

“I mean, yeah-” 

“Great, just don’t let it affect your work again.” 

And then she’s gone, vanishing into the shelves, and Alex and Sam exchange a look. 

Sam wants to ask, but she doesn't have to. "It was Vasquez. She's been uh... helping me out with stuff," 

"Stuff?" 

"Yeah. I had to tell her the good news, you know? So I did, she had the great idea to celebrate like we would have if Lucy was with us, and then I don't remember the rest," Alex shrugs, embarrassed about a wild night out, but there's a bittersweet smile on her face that makes Sam's initial disgruntlement fade away. 

The way she mentions her old friend doesn’t seem to come with the same sadness that Sam had noticed from her before, but rather, there’s a nostalgic smile on her face. “Anyway, that’s why I’m hungover on a Wednesday morning. What’s your excuse?” 

Sam frowns. “I’m not hungover.” 

“Well, you sure seem like it. That, or you just haven’t slept in two days.” 

Thinking back to the past few nights, Sam finds herself blushing at the memories. “I’ve slept,” she argues. “Just… less than usual…” 

It must be clear on her face what she’s thinking about, because Alex stares at her for a second too long. Figuring her out, the mild concern on her face fades, and she bites her lip, glancing at Lena. 

“So that’s why she’s wearing a scarf,” Alex mutters under her breath, and Sam’s blush spreads down her neck as she turns to her. 

She claps her hands. “Okay! Get to work.” 

She swears she catches Alex mutter something else - something about an invitation - under her breath, but the loud, invasive grinding of the coffee maker breaks through the sudden silence, drowning out the rest of her sentence.


It's not a particularly busy time for the bookstore, but life gets hectic anyways. After the first handful of dates, they can't really find the time to schedule anything else. 

None of them are okay with leaving Ruby alone at the bookstore, especially since they'd already had a break in once. Alex has her group therapy, and eventually Kara comes down to visit which takes up an entire week of her time. Sam has to ferry Ruby between soccer practice and recitals since their usual carpooling situation is no longer an option. 

At one point, a few minutes after closing, Alex’s head snaps up at the sound of the door being wrenched open and Sam practically dragging Ruby inside by the elbow, looking livid. 

“I cannot believe you got kicked out of Girl Scouts,” she’s saying as they cross the store, Ruby’s eyes wide as they make their way to the staircase. 

Sam’s scolding doesn’t let up in the least as they walk. Halfway up the stairs, Ruby turns her head and mouths ‘help’ at Alex, but Alex just shrugs, helpless, as the apartment door slams shut behind the two. If anything, that’s the most exciting occurrence for the next few weeks, especially with Ruby being grounded after the whole Girl Scouts debacle, unable to bother anyone downstairs. 

Spheerical's acquisition of L Corp has been smooth, for the most part. There are still some things that require Lena's attention, little details that were overlooked during the big logistical undertaking, that didn't get picked up until the new year. She gets calls at random points of the day, and it is quite funny to see her in her soft sweaters and glasses, throwing around corporate jargon that mostly goes over Alex's head. It culminates in her having to spend a few days in National City to sign contracts, leaving Sam to run the store on her own in the meantime. 

Alex has started to notice that Sam works hard. Too hard. The bookstore isn't particularly busy, but with Sam running about doing a million things at once, it feels like things are a lot worse than they are. 

Lena leaves on a Sunday, and plans on coming back by Wednesday. The headaches start on Tuesday. 

She doesn't realise she's working herself too hard till closing time approaches, and the store is quiet but her head is pulsing. She steadies herself with an arm against the counter, and almost jumps when Alex speaks. 

"Hey.”

"God, don’t sneak up on me like that,” she grumbles. “And I'm fine." 

Brown eyes meet hers. "I didn't ask. Besides, even if I did, I know you're not.”

"I guess I just miss Lena," she brushes away Alex’s concern, but the other woman is undeterred. 

"I know you do. But you're also getting a headache," she argues matter-of-factly, hands on her hips.

Sam doesn’t even question how she knows that. "It's not too bad.”

Alex squares her jaw, and glances at the clock. They still have half an hour until the store is technically meant to close, but she doesn't seem to care. She flips the sign to closed, and starts tidying up, leaving Sam on the couch with a glass of cold water. 

She doesn't realise how close she is to a burnout until she sits down for a minute and ends up with her arm against her head to try and block out the light. She doesn't realise how much better she feels after a rest - and an actual rest and not just a moment to breathe between errands - until Alex gently shakes her arm, and she uncovers her eyes to find that it's already well into the night, and she's somehow fallen asleep on the sofa in the cafe. 

Alex crouches down beside her, gentle fingers brushing her hair out of her face. "Feeling better?" 

"How long was I out for?" 

"Six years," Alex teases, and Sam swats at her blindly. Her hand makes contact with Alex's face, and Alex splutters out a laugh as she gently pulls Sam's hand away. "I've got pizza on the way. How are you?" 

"Better,” she answers honestly, voice still a bit hoarse from her unexpected nap. “Wheres Ruby?” 

“Already in bed,” Alex answers promptly, surprising her. It must show on her face, because Alex chuckles. “I know, right? Kid was exhausted from school today, went right to sleep.” 

They get upstairs and Alex gets the pizza, plates already set on the table. Sam has a shower after dinner, and feels a lot better once she's in sweats and a hoodie. For all that her insecurities have been hounding her, she doesn't really feel bothered by Alex seeing her in clothes that have definitely seen better days. It feels natural to see Alex wandering about the apartment, her leather jacket somewhere downstairs, her boots by the door. 

They put on something to watch, and Alex doesn't seem to be in a hurry to leave like she usually is. In fact, she's relaxed against the couch, not bothered at all by Sam leaning against her. 

For lack of a better word, she's comfortable where she is. Comfortable with Alex in a way she only really ever is with Lena and Ruby. It's almost natural to rest her head on Alex's shoulder, to close her eyes when Alex gently runs her fingers through her hair. 

She's about to slip into another dreamless nap when she feels the woman shift beneath, almost forgets who she's with when she feels lips against her forehead in a soft kiss. 

She smiles into it and Alex chuckles, a low sound that settles deep in Sam's chest, warming her up from the inside. She glances down at Sam, an apology on her lips. "I actually do have to go home to feed my dog," she says, wincing slightly at Sam’s dramatic pout. She’s already up now, rounding the couch, and Sam sits up on her elbows. 

"Lena always thought you were just making up excuses when you said that," she laughs, trying hard to push the wave of disappointment down. "Are you going to leave without saying goodbye?" 

There's a momentary pause, and Sam is about to hastily apologize for implying anything, until Alex purses her lips, seemingly trying hard to hide a smile. “How could I?” 

The time it takes between Alex to lean over the back of the couch, cupping Sam’s chin, seems to be an eternity. The moment their lips touch, it’s already much, much different than the first time they’d kissed that time under the mistletoe, awkward and fumbling. This time, it’s softer, gentler, and Sam starts melts into it. It’s different, kissing Alex compared to kissing Lena, but it’s just as intense in a way she hadn’t expected it to be, her chest warm. 

“Wait, no- c’mere,” she murmurs against Alex’s lips, tugging on the collar of her jacket. Alex rounds the couch again so she isn’t leaning over it, and Sam briefly misses her mouth until Alex is leaning back down, cupping her face and pulling her closer. 

It’s almost scary, just how quickly they transition into something more heated, more intense. Sam’s heart is beating a mile a minute as Alex presses deeper into her, lips fitting perfectly against each other, Alex’s hand coming to curl around the back of Sam’s neck. It’s only when Alex’s weight settles in her lap, her legs resting on each side of Sam’s, the other woman literally straddling her, that Sam almost passes out. 

When Alex’s mouth travels from hers down to her jawline, Sam knows this needs to stop as soon as possible, despite it feeling so good. There’s a burst of warmth deep inside her, spreading out and making her grasp even tighter at Alex, as if she could disappear from under her fingertips, but she has to stop things before they spiral out of control and they end up in a situation she’d rather not be in, ever. 

She’s only felt this way with Lena, many times before; except, usually in that case, things ended much different than they’re going to with Alex. 

“Okay, wait,” Sam gasps as she pulls back, pushing at Alex’s shoulders. “My daughter is in the other room. And this- we can’t- not yet.” 

Alex doesn’t look disappointed, just understanding as she leans back, still straddling Sam’s lap, chewing at her bottom lip. Her face is flushed as proof of their unexpected transition from an innocent kiss to a heated makeout, and she clears her throat. “Shit, right. Sorry,” she apologizes, but Sam shakes her head. 

“No, don’t apologize, it’s just- God, I really like kissing you,” she laughs, out of breath. “ Really like it. And I want to kiss you some more, believe me, but…” She gestures down the hall towards Ruby’s bedroom. 

“No, yeah, I know,” Alex agrees. “This was.. a lot.” 

“Let me reiterate that I really like kissing you,” Sam says, smiling when Alex huffs out a laugh. “So… we can still-“ 

Alex’s lips are back on here before she finishes her sentence. This kiss is much more tame now, not as heated, Alex shifting so she isn’t putting all her weight on Sam’s lap. 

“I really do have to go now,” she sighs into her mouth eventually, and Sam groans, dropping her forehead to Alex’s. 

“Do you have to?” 

“Yes,” she confirms, to Sam’s chagrin. 

“Or you could… you know… bring Isa back here? I just- don’t want you to leave just yet,” she admits. “Even if we’re not doing anything.” 

“Sam-“ 

“Right, of course, I’m sorry- that's too much, isn’t it?” she cringes and shakes her head. “Right. Okay, you go.” 

Alex seems to not want to go herself, but she manages to drag herself to the door anyways, looking back over her shoulder. “Goodnight.” 

The door shuts behind her with a quiet click, and for a few minutes, Sam just sits there on the couch in silence, her lips still tingling. 

Then, out of nowhere, “God, you guys are so gay.” 

“Ruby!” 


Lena has never really been one for public displays of affection. That much is what Sam remembers of their days in the city. That's what Sam remembers of Lena's past relationships as well, that she'd never be very tactile, keeping her dates at a respectable distance. 

But as soon as she sees Ruby, Alex, and Sam waiting for her at the airport, she rushes over, and there's a sudden flurry of hugs and kisses to all of them, with Ruby even getting a red lipstick mark right on her forehead. 

"You were gone for like two days," Ruby grumbles, rubbing at her head with her sleeve, and Lena scoffs, the smile never leaving her face. 

"That doesn't sound like 'I missed you too, Lena'," she sasses right back, "I might just keep your present to myself then," 

Alex looks a little confused, there's a twitch at the corner of her mouth, her hands still firmly in her pockets but she glances at Sam. 

"I'm not surprised that she bought things. I'm surprised that she isn't coming back with a third suitcase," Sam says, taking another sip of the watery and disappointing airport coffee she'd paid four dollars for. The grimace on her face says it all, and she tries not to look too disappointed as she drops the rest of the drink in the nearest trash can. 

Ruby perks up at the promise of a gift, and is eager to usher the adults towards where Sam parked her car. And then once they get there, she's quick to call shotgun, but Lena doesn't seem to mind. 

Once her suitcases are loaded into the back, and after she complains about Alex and Sam taking too long to try and fit the overfilled suitcases into the trunk ("I'm freezing my ass off out here. There are times that I do miss having a driver-" to which Alex promptly responds with a- "Give us a hand then, princess ,") she finds her place sitting next to Alex in the back seat. 

Sam glances at them with a smile, a smile when she sees Alex's arm around Lena's shoulders, and Lena takes that as a sign that her master scheme has worked. 

Because of course, the trip was useful. It was nice to see Jack again, along with a number of other former associates as they started the new year. She had an opportunity to go and say a few words at an executive meeting. The heels and corporate wear had gone unused in her wardrobe for quite some time, but fitting into it all again was like putting on a familiar set of armor, and she'd taken to it at a speed that surprised herself. 

But now she'd taken a brief holiday to her past life, she wasn't really holding a desire to go back. Not at all. 

The bookstore is closed when they get back from the hour's drive. They'd still have a little while till closing, but neither Sam nor Alex seem pressed to get the store back open. 

The gift also serves well as a distraction. She didn't think the new tablet would be such an instant hit with Ruby, but she immediately runs up the stairs to set it up, leaving the three of them downstairs in the closed-up bookstore. Chairs are turned over and placed on the tables, the sign has been turned to 'closed', and someone has shut the blinds.

Lena drops off her bags upstairs, the familiarity of the space rings out as home in a way that her old penthouse in the city simply hadn't. She can hear Ruby thundering about in her room with her new gift. Everything is more-or-less how she left it. 

Sam appears to have been reading a self-help book this time, it sits on her bedside table beside yet another empty coffee cup that she most likely forgot to take with her. 

Lena's just about to make her life easier when she notices a pair of glasses that aren’t her own sitting there, right next to the book, and she raises an eyebrow. “Samantha?” 

“Yeah?” Sam calls out, somewhere within the apartment. Lena doesn’t turn around at her voice, just keeps staring at the glasses. 

“Don’t tell me you fucked Alex while I was away.” 

Almost immediately, there’s an abrupt choking sound, and Lena realizes Sam had been drinking another cup of coffee - Lena can’t help but roll her eyes; as if she hadn’t already had a mug sitting here - as she asked it. 

It takes a few moments for the coughing to cease, Sam pounding on her own chest when Lena peers over her shoulder, her face beet-red as she stares incredulously at her. 

"What? N-no! No I'd never, of course we wouldn't when Ruby's here- we didn't- but we did... uh," Sam clears her throat, blushing an even deeper shade of red than before, and Lena’s eyebrow lifts higher on her forehead, "It was just late, and I didn't want her to ride home in the dark, black ice and stuff, motorbikes are so dangerous, so she may have... slept over, at one point." 

As anti-climatic as the explanation is, Lena still smirks at Sam in a way she knows drives the other woman insane. “Oh?” 

Sam’s eyes narrow. “Yes, Lena. That’s what happened.” 

"And nothing more?" Lena turns around fully, arms crossed, skeptical. "Not even a kiss goodnight? Honestly, Sam, you're absolutely terrible at this-" 

"I never said we didn't kiss ," Sam mutters quietly, a grin spreading across her face as Lena's eyes widen. Before Lena can react however, Sam pretends to listen out for something, backing towards the door. "Oh, what was that, Alex? You need me downstairs? Lena, I'd love to continue this conversation, but-" 

"Oh, we are definitely continuing this conversation." 

True to her word, it doesn’t take Lena long to bring it up again. "The city was boring. I want to hear about what you did while I wasn't here," she asks Sam, as they sit on the sofa in the cafe downstairs. Alex was kind enough to buy some decent scotch to share, and the record player croons on in the background. 

She's trying to act nonchalant, but the desire to know burns, especially when Alex and Sam share a sideways glance. 

"It got kind of busy without you here," Alex starts, swirling the scotch in her glass. "I was surprised, you know, that you actually do stuff . I thought you just stood behind the back counter and played with the record player all day." 

Lena doesn't dignify that with a response. Sam stays oddly quiet, pretending to find something interesting in the back window. She's embarrassed about this, she's gone shy, her cheeks are red, and it's absolutely delightful to see her so flustered like this. She's about to drag her back to reality and back into the conversation but Alex pipes up again. 

"Also, Sam nearly worked herself into having a migraine again.” 

That gets Sam to turn around, glaring daggers at Alex that don't seem to be quite as effective as she thinks they are. 

This is news to Lena. She arches an eyebrow at the woman in question, and Sam withers under her sharp gaze. "It wasn't that bad this time. I had Alex to take care of me," Somehow, Alex seems to have absorbed Sam's usual confidence, because she runs a hand through her hair, smiling to herself. 

"She just slept it off, then I stayed for a little while the first night-”

"The first night?" Lena cuts her off, her tone a mix of amusement and surprise.

"I stayed over the next," Alex's confidence drops just a bit, her eyes searching Lena's. "I hope that's okay."  

They are still finding those boundaries, so Lena understands why Alex feels like she has to ask, nervous about her response. But there really isn't any need for her to be. If anything, Lena is comforted by the fact that Sam had someone. If it wasn’t her, it would have been Ruby, and as much as she loves the kid, Lena knows having her mother in such a state would be too much for her to handle all on her own.

"Oh of course it's okay. I'm guessing now that I don't need to interfere anymore with you two, you've got yourselves sorted out and-" 

"Wait-" Sam narrows her eyes at Lena, who stumbles on her words at the sudden change of tone. "You didn't really need to go to the city, did you? How did you have time to go shopping during a business trip-" 

She quickly tries to remedy the situation, but Sam is already figuring out everything, Alex glancing between them like she's watching a tennis match. "Did I say I went shopping? I don't shop. There's staff for that." 

" Lena ," Sam cries, throwing up a hand, and Lena lasts all of a second before she breaks, laughing. 

"Okay, fair enough. Maybe I didn't have to go on that trip, but it worked, didn't it? You're okay now." 

"I hate you," Sam rubs her forehead with one hand, grumbling under her breath as Lena rounds the couch, dropping her glass on the table nearby so she can settle draped over Sam, her arms wrapped around her. 

"You don't. Alex, get over here," Lena says, before grabbing Alex's flannel and dragging her over to squash Sam from the other direction. A surprised squeak escapes Sam’s mouth as she falls over onto the couch, her chin finally coming to rest against Sam’s shoulder. 

"Okay. Lena, I think that's your last glass of scotch," 

"I'll have you know that I'm not drunk at all. Is it that bizarre for you to see me happy while sober?" she scoffs, a hand flying to her chest in offense. In reality, she’s far from it, content with them as she sits, but Sam and Alex both roll their eyes. 

The air is charged, there's an underlying tension that thrums through every conversation, every laugh, every gentle touch. Alex is drawn in by the mellow light, the sweet bite of mid-range scotch. She's struck by a sudden rush when she realises that this doesn't have to be a one-time thing anymore. 

They've moved from the couch to sit on the floor near the back counter, leaning up against it, passing the bottle of scotch between them. Sam puts on some Etta James, and after a little bit of a dance between her and an unimpressed Lena, they end up on the ground again, with Alex in the middle. Lena's dark tresses run like silk through her fingers, as she buries her nose into her shoulder, stifling a groan as Sam sings along off-key. 

This thing between them is new and fragile but it's theirs, Sam and Lena have brought her in with open arms, there's no script, nothing to fall back on, nothing but uncertainties as to how it will look like. She'd spent the entire trip to Midvale with this uncertainty hovering over her head. And now that she's home she can't help but feel guilty for wasting the holidays with her own problems. 

Of course, there's a right way, and a wrong way to go about rectifying that situation. But Alex is four drinks in, and the company makes the words tumble out as soon as the thought is half-formed in her head. 

"Come to Midvale with me," she blurts, and the words that Sam were just about to sing to her fade on her lips, and she looks at Alex curiously. Lena stiffens beside her, gently lifting her head to look at her as well. 

"Midvale?" Sam's brow furrows, and she tilts her head to the side. 

"To meet my-" Alex begins to explain, but stumbles when she realises how forward it is. They've barely gone on a few dates, and she's already rushing through things, she's already thinking about getting them to meet her family, and- she holds up her hands. "Okay. I know how it sounds, it's stupid and you don't have to do it." 

Lena gets her to pause on the brink of a rant, her cold hand taking one of Alex's. "This matters to you. I don't know about Sam," she glances over Alex's shoulder at Sam, before her gaze drops back to Alex. It's then she realises how close they really are, "But I'd be happy to," she finishes assuringly.

Alex turns to look at Sam, when she hears her clear her throat. Sam's also not too far away, close enough that Alex can see her jaw work as she thinks. "I can't say I wouldn't be nervous -”

Lena snorts under her breath. "That's an understatement.” 

"Hey! Shut up." Sam cries, and Lena pokes out her tongue maturely. But it's a sign of something that Sam is nervous about. "Does she know? About us?" 

"She knows," Alex nods, and that calms her down just a bit, the tension being released from her shoulders. "I mean, I don't exactly know what she knows-" that makes Sam's shoulders tense again, "but Kara's probably told her the right thing just by being an annoying little shit anyways.” 

Lena cocks an eyebrow. “You talk so highly of her.” 

Alex chuckles, only slightly bitterly. “Yeah, well, she’s been too far up my ass with… this-” she gestures vaguely towards Sam and Lena, “-that I’m convinced she’s living vicariously through my love life.” 

“And your mom? How is she about this?” Sam asks, then, almost as an afterthought, “Does she know we’re… women?” 

Alex smiles briefly. “I mean- she’s always known I was gay, so that’s not the shocking part to her. She just never really expected me to land one beautiful woman, much less two.” 

The way she says it, there’s a tinge of old hurt in her voice that makes Sam’s ears practically perk up with attention. “What? Why not?” 

Hesitating, Alex shrugs. “Dating isn’t exactly easy when you’re constantly moving around and being deployed. And after Maggie… I guess she just assumed I’d given up. Which isn’t too far from the truth at the time,” she admits quietly, “but things have changed.” 

Things meaning her fear of getting close to anyone ever again, meaning the caution she’d approach potential relationships with. She feels content and secure now, with Sam and Lena, in both their friendship and this new relationship that’s blooming between the three of them. It’s a different feeling, one she hadn’t had with Maggie even when things were good, and she’s determined to keep it that way for as long as she can. 

They both seem to understand this without her having to outright explain it. The tension in Sam's shoulders eases as she reaches out, holds Alex's hand in one of her own, brings her knuckles to her lips in a gentle kiss, almost like she's thanking her for opening up. “Anyways,” she laughs it off, shrugging, uncomfortable after having gotten so emotional all of a sudden, “I think she’d really like to meet you guys.” 

Alex already knows that Eliza will love them both. Sam has such a way with people, she doesn't think she's met anyone who doesn't smile when Sam does. And Lena has a scientific mind, something that she's sure her mother would appreciate. They're two beautiful, amazing people, and she's struck by the realisation that despite everything, they've chosen her. 

She turns when she feels Lena shift beside her. Her hand tightens its grip in her shirt just a bit, and soft lips press against her jaw, dragging her attention away from staring intently at the shelves in front of her. When she looks at Lena, there's something different about her, it might be the light, it might be the fact she hasn't seen her in a few days, it might be the alcohol in her system that's making things just a bit blurred around the edges. 

She closes the space between their lips, and hears a cough and a muffled splutter from beside her, and feels a tug on the hand that's still being held by Sam. 

"Sorry-" Sam wheezes, and Lena closes her eyes and exhales heavily, reluctantly pulling back to glare at Sam over Alex's shoulder. 

"You had her for several days, you shared a bed , and the first kiss I get with her upon getting back you ruin-" 

"I'm sorry! It's just- you just took me by surprise," Sam wipes at her mouth, clearly still feeling the burn from scotch going the wrong way as her eyes water. She places the bottle aside, and releases Alex's hand to gesture at the both of them. "Go ahead. I'm- uh. I'm ready this time," 

Lena rolls her eyes. “Thank you for your permission, Samantha.” 

If possible, Sam looks even more sheepish, and it only makes Alex laugh a bit under her breath, which in turn makes Lena glare at her instead. 

So she very maturely nudges Lena with an elbow, trying to weasel out a smile. "Okay, you have to admit that was a little bit funny. And it's also the second time that Sam's wasted alcohol like that-" 

Sam looks downright offended by the implication. "I've never-" 

"The wine?" Lena arches an eyebrow. 

Sam purses her lips at the brutal reminder. “Okay, well-” Then she pauses, sinking back. “Yeah, I have no excuse for that one.”

It's stupid, she downright enjoys seeing them like this, their back and forth and bickering as they lean forward to look around her makes her laugh. It makes her laugh a way that she hasn't really laughed before. It fills her chest with a burning happiness and okay she's definitely had a little too much to drink because she's never been a giggly drunk before. 

"And see? Now you've broken Alex," Lena pouts, as the mood from before is now gone. 

"I'm not- I'm sorry." Alex shakes her head. But her smile doesn't go, especially not as she sees Sam's own grin beside her, those amber eyes filled with an emotion she isn't quite ready to name yet. 

It's Sam who captures her lips next, swiftly yet gently capturing all her attention in a very short time. Soft, pliant lips against her own that seem innocent at first, before Sam's fingertips trace up the back of her neck, wandering into her hair. 

Then her head is tilted to the side, as Lena traces burning kisses up the side of her neck. It makes her heart race and she leans into it, eyes slipping shut at the feel of Lena’s mouth against her skin. 

Lena doesn't stay there for long, though, she forges a path upwards, along her jaw and onwards to Sam. Lena places needy kisses on Sam's cheek, which is enough to distract her from kissing Alex for a moment to indulge her. The momentary reprieve from sensation has Alex blinking against the haze of lust, and Lena's hand comes to rest on her thigh as she leans right across her. 

Just like the other night with Sam, things start to get heated quicker than Alex had expected, and she pulls back despite not wanting to. “Wait-“ 

They both stop immediately. Sam can't hide the disappointment on her face, but she does back off slightly  “What?” Lena asks, concerned until Alex chuckles lightly. 

“I just- I want to take this slow. Us, I mean.” 

Lena just rolls her eyes. “You’re saying this after you invite us to meet your family?” 

Alex purses her lips and cocks her head. “I- yes,” and at Lena’s amused smile, “Shut up!” 

"Alex is right, Lena," Sam sighs, throwing Lena off just a bit. "Ruby's upstairs," 

“Oh, right. Forgot she existed,” Lena teases, expertly poker-faced even as Alex gapes at her. 

" Lena ," It's Sam's turn to roll her eyes, smiling despite herself. Alex had almost forgotten about Sam's hand on the back of her head until she pulls back entirely, immediately missing her touch. 

“I should get back, anyways,” she reminds them. “I pay rent for my apartment, even though I feel like I practically live here.” 

"You know you could. Live here. The bed's big enough for the three of us-" 

It takes every ounce of Alex's willpower not to think about just how big that bed actually is, and how the three of them would fit so nicely together- "Thanks for the offer but-" 

" Slow, Samantha," Lena scolds her, but Sam just narrows her eyes and turns on her. 

"Oh that's rich , coming from you. You were about to jump her bones a second ago-" 

Lena brushes it off with a flippant wave of her hand. "I wasn't! I was simply moving to get closer to you. If I happened to almost straddle Alex then that was purely coincidence,"

“Alright, and that’s my cue to get home,” Alex interjects, cutting their next round of bickering short. She tries not to look at their disappointed faces as she slips on her jacket. “Try not to kill each other before tomorrow, please?” 

“No promises,” Lena scoffs, at the same time Sam assures her, “We won’t!” 


In the time before the trip to Midvale, a few things happen. The trip is scheduled to happen in the springtime, and excitement grows as the snow melts with the return of comfortable, warm air, leaves begin sprouting on the trees outside the shop, and the sun decides to hang around a little bit longer each day. 

Lena isn't one for the change of season. She hates change. Despises it. The first sunny day they get has Sam and Alex dragging her to the park of all places, and she ends up red in the face, sniffling the entire time. There aren't enough antihistamines in the world to save her from the torture of springtime allergies, and she spends more time cooped up in the store, glaring at people who leave the door open for too long. 

Sam decides that Ruby needs a bit more responsibility in her life. While she's not sold on the idea of Ruby getting a cat (she's never been sure if Lena was allergic to cats, since she wasn't allergic to dogs, but Sam wasn't willing to take a chance for an even more grumpy Lena), she's completely okay with Alex loaning Isa to her after school, to take to the local dog park with a  neighbors' older kids. Alex even pays in cookies for every walk to the park, which Sam pretends she doesn't notice. 

Alex goes to group therapy a handful of times. At first it feels very much like a chore, but eventually it becomes part of her routine. Vasquez is always happy to have a familiar face, and she's more than proud of Alex's progress, especially when she sees her talking to a few of the newer entries to their little afternoon group meetings. 

And Sam's suggestion that Alex move in had been partially a joking one, but the apartment she rents feels less and less like home with every additional moment she spends at the bookstore. Sometimes dinner runs late, with all the conversation and laughter around the table, that it gets too late for Alex and Isa to leave. A few times, Isa falls asleep on the upstairs sofa, and Alex doesn't have the heart to wake her up and move her so she stays as well. It's in those moments that she finds out that her favourite way to wake up is with the smell of pancakes in the air, Isa's head resting heavy on her chest, Lena snuggled into her side. 

They don't get up to much those nights, not with Ruby in the house, not with a million and one things to be doing. But eventually salvation comes in the form of a birthday party slash sleepover that has Ruby out of the house for an entire evening. And Alex's schedule is free, and Sam's not stressed out of her mind, and Lena drags Alex into their bedroom as soon as she looks like she's about to cut and run yet again. 

She gets to learn them both at the same time, what their bodies like. It's unexpectedly tender, where Alex had thought (imagined) that it would be rough and raw- oh that does happen afterwards but that's a different story. 

She learns to love playing video games with Ruby, who gets her another controller on their unofficial two month anniversary that Sam totally didn't mark out on the family calendar with a letter 'A' with a red heart around it. She's absolutely dreadful, but sometimes she's lucky enough to beat Sam. Beating Lena or Ruby is downright impossible though. 

Alex doesn't realise how fast time is passing until she nearly forgets to pack before the trip, reminded only by an argument between Sam and Lena the day before as Lena packs way too much, and forgets that they're travelling in Sam's car, which does not have the trunk space for half of Lena's wardrobe. 


They’re an hour into the roadtrip when Lena starts to complain. “You need to pull over,” 

Alex glances at her in the rearview mirror. “What? Lena, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”  

It’s true — on the way to Midvale, the route consists of many long, boring dirt roads that lead to the mountains they have to pass to get there. Currently, all Alex can see from each direction is the long stretch of road they’ve been on for twenty minutes now, and then corn fields beside them, reaching higher than their car. 

“Yes, well, I need to stretch my legs,” Lena argues, and Alex sees out of the corner of her eye the way Sam’s head falls back against the passenger seat’s headrest. 

“You can’t wait twenty minutes until we get to-“

“I feel like I’ve been shoved into this backseat for hours, I need a break.” 

Alex’s grip unintentionally tightens on the steering wheel. “Is she always like this during trips?” she asks Sam, just barely above a whisper, loud enough for Lena to glare at her through the mirror. 

“You should see her on airplanes,” Sam scoffs, rolling her head to look at Alex and raise her eyebrows. “She’s a nightmare.” 

“And that nightmare can hear you two perfectly,” Lena snaps, falling quiet when Sam and Alex merely exchange an amused - albeit slightly annoyed - look. 

“If we pull over, I can’t guarantee that we won’t get murdered by a crazy farmer for trespassing,” Alex huffs, igniting the unimpressed look Lena shoots her from the backseat. 

Sam chuckles beside her. “Or a killer scarecrow,” she adds, barely able to get the sentence out through her laughs. 

Lena just grits her teeth. “You’re a dork, Sam. Alex, are you going to pull over or-" 

“Keep complaining and I’ll leave you here, princess,” Alex teases as she pulls off the side of the road. Lena immediately rips the door open and stumbles out with a loud sigh as she stretches her legs and back. Isa follows, bounding out of the back door and racing around Lena. 

“Okay, Sam, out. We’re swapping seats.” 

Ruby holds out her phone to take a photo of Lena as she grumbles and stretches. Alex grimaces at the muffled crack of her bones as she does so. "How did you survive sitting in a chair all day as a CEO?" 

"I didn't just sit in a chair all day -" Lena growls, ready to snap but Alex's mischievous smile lets her know she's been had. 

The break turns out to be useful, Isa gets a bathroom break, and Lena is significantly less of a grump during the last leg of the trip. 

They swap seats. Alex doesn't think it'll be a big deal, till she feels Sam shuffle in the seat behind her, knocking her seat in the process. The back seat is apparently not designed for someone with legs as long as hers. 

But it's only for another twenty minutes really, the car makes short work of the roads, and they start to see signs of civilisation, a few dotted buildings here and there. And Lena smiles just a bit as Ruby shouts and points at the first sign of the approaching coastline, a thin strip of reflective blue on the horizon. 

And then, finally , a faded sign welcoming them to Midvale.  


The first day goes by quickly. They spend most of the day unpacking and getting settled in, only able to relax close to sunset. As soon as they get the chance, all three of them are collapsed in bed - different rooms, per Eliza’s demands - and Alex doesn’t wake up until almost noon the next morning. 

Padding into the kitchen, she sees Eliza already up, fixing a few cups of coffee. Her mother sets one of the mugs of hot coffee in front of her as she sits at the bar, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Did you have a good night, sweetie?”

Alex sips at the mug gingerly. “Yeah, definitely. Though, I think the whole ‘separate rooms’ rule was a bit too far, Mom.” 

The exasperation in her voice doesn’t phase Eliza, who just rests her chin on her palm and stares at Alex as she drinks her coffee. “Yes, well, can you blame me? My daughter comes home with not one, but two girlfriends! Of course you’re going to be sleeping in separate beds. I was your age once, I know how tempting-” 

" Mom- " Alex pinches the bridge of her nose, not wanting to hear the rest of it. "Please stop. We wouldn't do... that here." 

Eliza ignores her disgust. “Oh, please. As if I didn’t raise you for almost thirty years. Remember junior year?” 

Alex cringes at the reminder. Junior year of high school was the time of awkward flirting and dates set up for her by Vicky, all of which she’d ended up calling her then-best friend to come pick her up early - and it just so happened that one of those nights had ended with Vicky at her house, in her bed, just as her mother had come home from a long day of work. 

"That was different, Vicky wasn't-" 

Of course, the mere mention of another woman summons Lena. Definitely the most possessive of the three of them, her dark hair is piled up atop her head and tied hastily, there are dark circles around her piercing green glare, and she's without her signature red lipstick. "Who's Vicky?" 

“No one!” Alex immediately regrets even coming downstairs, especially when Eliza smiles and turns to Lena with the most innocent look she can muster. 

“Oh, nobody, sweetie,” she says, then sips her own coffee before she continues, “Just a high school crush of Alex’s.” 

Lena arches an eyebrow, but Alex is saved from further questioning by Sam coming downstairs in a rush. Almost as if she's already had her coffee for the day, with way too much energy for a normal human being at this early hour. She says her 'good morning's, and leaves a kiss on the top of Lena's head before rushing over to give one to Alex as well. 

Sam - and the cup of coffee she places into Lena's hands - is enough of a distraction for Lena to drop the subject entirely. But it doesn't have her safe from Eliza's scrutiny. 

Her mother seems to be watching her all day. She can't help but feel like she's being judged at first, that her mother's acceptance was conditional, and the unpleasant feeling lasts up until later that night, hours after both Lena and Sam have gone to bed, as she’s sitting cuddled up in front of the television with a glass of wine. 

She doesn’t realize her mother is still awake until the older woman takes a seat next to her on the couch, startling her for a second and almost making her spill her wine. “What are you doing up so late?” 

Alex raises an eyebrow. “I could ask the same of you,” she retorts, only receiving a blank look in return. She turns back to the TV. “Fine. It’s not what you think- I’m not waiting to sneak into one of their rooms, Mom.” 

Eliza frowns. “Who said that’s what I was thinking?” 

Alex rolls her eyes. “Wasn’t it?” she laughs, but then grows somber once again, sipping her wine. “I couldn’t sleep. I was just… thinking too much again, I guess.” 

"About?" 

"Things... stuff. Just about how lucky I am that-" 

Then, right over Eliza's shoulder, Alex watches as a door swings open slowly. And none other than Sam sticks her head around the doorframe, looking from side to side. She starts to tip-toe across the hall, towards none other than Lena’s room, before freezing as she spots Eliza and Alex in the living room. 

“Oh! Hey guys! What’s up?” 

Her guilt is evident in her voice, almost palpable. Alex leans back against the cushions with a smug look as Eliza just raises her eyebrows at Sam, who’s paler than Alex has ever seen her. 

“I was just- water. Thirsty.” 

Yeah, definitely thirsty, Alex thinks.

Eliza smiles knowingly. “Kitchen is this way, dear.” 

"Oh, right. Silly me. It's late and I've lost all sense of direction. Which way's up?" Sam rambles, letting out a choked little laugh at the end as she throws her hands up and backs towards the kitchen.

Eliza chuckles at her antics, and turns back to Alex to see her rubbing at her forehead. "You're all terrible at sneaking around," 

"We don't exactly have to, back at home." 

"Home? You live with them now?" 

"N-no. Not exactly. Not yet. It's way too early for that. I still stay at the apartment, the one that-" 

"Hm," Eliza purses her lips, studying Alex with an almost amused expression, like she knows . "Of course, that must be because of Isa, right?" 

Alex blinks. “Not just because of her,” she answers tightly, feeling the back of her neck heat up. “I like it there.” 

But it's a lie. She knows it, and Eliza knows it's a lie. It convinces nobody. There's not really much tying her to the apartment. It doesn't feel like home. Even this, Eliza's house, hasn't felt like home. Not since she got back from her deployment. 

For Alex now, home is the bookstore. The smell of books and dust and old wood, the rich bitter taste of coffee. Home is the bookstore in a way that Midvale never was, that her own apartment never is, and it rattles her that she’s grown so attached to not only the store itself but the people in it. 

"No," she admits, after a moment of silence. "You're right. I don't know why I keep pretending like I don't. It's-"

She hears a loud slurp from behind her. She turns around, and not only is Sam standing there with a glass of water, Lena is also there- which is surprising in and of itself, because nothing gets Lena out of bed. 

“You aren’t already moving in?” Sam asks, seeming genuinely confused. “Then why is there a toothbrush for you in our bathroom?” 

Lena rolls her eyes. “She is moving in, darling- she just now figured it out.” 

"Don't forget all the clothes she's left at our place," Sam adds, making Eliza grin wider. “There’s spare glasses on the nightstand, too.” 

"And the fact that Ruby and I cleared a spot in the alley so she can park her bike.” 

"And the dog bed that Isa never uses,” Lena is counting on her fingers now, looking over at her girlfriend. "Really, Sam. I don't see why you bothered-" 

"It was in the shape of an avocado. It's so cute! Eliza, you really have to see it," Sam answers gleefully, either ignoring or simply not noticing the way Alex has grown redder and redder with each thing they list off. 

Lena's expression softens, and she walks over to rest a hand on Alex's shoulder comfortingly. "You're also one of Ruby's emergency contacts at school. Alex, you're part of us now. I don't see things changing any time soon." 

"I just need to get you a key." Sam says with a smile. 


“See?” Sam says a few weeks later, pointing triumphantly at the floor by the couch. “Isa loves the bed!”