Alec doesn’t realise that there’s a problem — that Jace has a problem — until they’re already back at the Institute and Jace’s skin is burning hot when Alec brushes their hands together, while they’re taking care of their weapons.
“Jace?” Alec asks, senses honing in on his parabatai, even as he notes for the first time that the bond is dulled between them.
Jace looks like he’s coming off a hunt, Alec realises, as he looks Jace over. Not like they’ve just come back from a frankly unnecessary confrontation with the local fairy population about leaving their gardens accessible to unsuspecting mundanes.
A garden, Alec realises with a sinking feeling, full of magical plants fully capable of affecting shadowhunters.
Jace’s grin is just a hair too sharp, his skin burning hot against Alec’s palm, hair mussed and he smells like —
He smells like he’s in heat. Like mouth watering food, making Alec’s mouth flood with saliva and the urge to bite.
Jace had gotten himself exposed to something in the fairy’s garden that had triggered a pseudo-heat.
Alec takes a short breath to brace himself — a mistake, it increases the urge to shove Jace into the nearest wall to see what Jace would do to him in response — and yanks Jace out of the mezzanine by the arm, ignoring Jace’s snarl of objection.
“You’re drugged,” Alec says, when they’re in the hallway. “I’m confining you to quarters.”
“I’m fine,” Jace says.
Alec makes a scoffing noise of disagreement, but doesn’t try to argue, because speaking means he has to breathe, and he’s trying to do as little of that as possible at the moment.
“Alec—” Jace starts, trying to tug his arm out of Alec’s grip, but Alec’s a match for him in strength and it doesn’t work.
Jace snarls again, more warning this time, and Alec growls low in his throat, letting the sound vibrate past his teeth in a blatant threat.
Alec doesn’t fight with Jace, not for real. Not even when Jace pushes him, questions his authority, because he values his parabatai and their bond more than that. Because when it comes down to it, Jace listens.
Just like now. Jace stops fighting him, lets Alec pull him through the Institute to his room, lets Alec shove him inside and close the door behind them.
When Alec let’s go of Jace, Jace stays where he is, standing in the middle of the room, head cocked in Alec’s direction.
“You’re drugged,” Alec repeats.
Jace just looks at him, and Alec realises with a sinking feeling that Jace hadn’t exactly disagreed with Alec the last time he said that. No, he’d more or less told Alec that being drugged wasn’t a problem for him.
“Jace—” Alec starts, but Jace moves lightning quick, lunging forward to fist his hand in Alec’s shirt and — and do what, Alec doesn’t bother to wait and find out. Fights back instead.
Jace is better than him at hand to hand, always has been. Add to that the fact that Alec is, to put it lightly, distracted, and his attempt at getting away from Jace ends with him pinned facedown to Jace’s bed, Jace over top of him.
Alec snarls, no longer willing to be gentle about this, the noise an order to let him up.
“Let me go,” he grits out, when Jace doesn’t listen.
“Alec,” Jace says, low and amused, the sound sending a curl of anxiety and a thrill through him, “the last thing you want me to do is let you go.”
Alec takes a deep breath without thinking about it. The scent permeating the room sends his head spinning, the food-sweet smell of heat and the deeper scent of Jace’s arousal making him want to go limp under his parabatai, to submit.
Alec isn’t supposed to want to submit to Jace like this.
Alec has never been good not wanting Jace, though.
It takes him a minute to gather his scattered thoughts enough to speak. “I’m telling you to let me go, Jace,” Alec says, because no matter what Alec smells like right now, to Jace, no matter how much his body is unwillingly giving away for him, Alec is saying no. He has to say no.
“Jace,” Alec repeats, voice trailing up in a plea, jerking against Jace’s hold, when Jace still doesn’t listen, still doesn’t move. Because Alec has never been good at telling Jace ‘no’, either, not when Jace really pushes.
Jace makes a throaty purring noise instead of acknowledging Alec’s request. Because it’s a request now, because Jace has him pinned, and Alec is losing his will to fight with Jace’s scent surrounding him. Pressed into Jace’s bed.
Then Jace bites down on his shoulder, through his shirt, and Alec’s mind goes blank. Even with the layer of cloth between them, it makes Alec’s muscles go liquid and heat surge through him.
His newest attempt at a protest turns into a moan, muffled by the pillow but shockingly loud in the room.
Jace only pulls back after Alec’s shirt is soaked under his mouth, skin bruised and Alec completely limp and not fighting him anymore.
Alec’s body is wracked with fine tremors. He so turned on he can barely breathe.
Jace lets go of Alec’s wrist and winds his fingers in Alec’s hair, turning Alec’s head to the side so that his neck is exposed and Alec tries to get the breath to protest but then Jace is pressing his teeth into Alec’s neck and all he can do is whine.
Jace’s touch is delicate, not enough to break skin. Barely enough to bruise, this time, light enough that Alec could pull away — if he wanted to. If he could even move.
He can’t. He doesn’t want to. Jace’s mouth is open and wet, saliva dripping down Alec’s neck and it’s messy and it’s hot, feeling it drip down over his throat.
He likes to think he’d think it was disgusting, at any other time. Right now, all he can think about is the fact that he smells like Jace.
When Alec doesn’t fight, doesn’t try to pull away, Jace bites down harder.
Alec ends up begging. For what, he’s not sure, but he he begs, voice breaking, half out of his mind.
Jace is almost purring when he finally pulls away, soothing his tongue over the mark he made on Alec’s neck, a low rumble deep in his chest that vibrates through Alec’s bones.
“Jace,” Alec begs again, one of the only two words he knows how to vocalise right now.
Jace noses delicately at Alec’s neck, trailing his lips up until he can bite gently at Alec’s jaw. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop,” he says, even as Alec whines in frustration.
If offered the chance… Alec could probably have told Jace to stop. But that isn’t the choice being offered him, here, and Alec is utterly incapable of lying to Jace, not here, not now.
“That’s what I thought,” Jace says, shifting so that he can shove his other hand up Alec’s shirt. “Fuck, you’re hot like this.”
Alec wishes he could hide his face but Jace’s grip on his hair prevents him from turning his head. “Please,” he whispers, feeling humiliated for even thinking about asking for it, much less saying it.
“Please what, parabatai?” Jace asks, because he’s a complete asshole. But then he bites down on Alec’s neck again and sends all of Alec’s thoughts scattering.
“Please,” Jace repeats, placing a soft bite higher up Alec’s neck, then another on the tender skin right behind Alec’s ear, “what?”
Jace isn’t himself right now, Alec shouldn’t be…
“Don’t hate me,” Alec breathes out, softly. Don’t hate me for being weak. Don’t hate me for wanting this. Don’t, don’t, don’t —
“I could never hate you,” Jace promises, equally soft, shifting to brush his lips across Alec’s cheek. “But that’s not really what you want to beg me for, is it?”
Alec whines again. Jace’s hand on his back is scorching.
Jace shifts, tugging on Alec’s shirt, shoving it up and Alec cooperates, pushing himself up on his elbows so they can get his shirt off, before Jace pins him to the bed again.
“I’m going to fuck you,” Jace says, lips against the bruise he’s already put on Alec’s shoulder, “I’m going to knot you, so long as you beg me for it.”
Then he bites down on the back of Alec’s shoulder again.
Turns out Alec knows three words when Jace has his teeth in him, and the new one is yes.
“Alec,” Jace says, nosing at Alec’s cheek again, voice biting in a way that Jace isn’t, “beg.”
Alec breaks. It’s not like he had much willpower to begin with, not like this, but Jace’s words shatter what’s left of his self control. He can't do anything but give in, and damn the consequences.
"Fuck me," he chokes out, grinding back against Jace, swallowing back a noise when Jace matches the movement, cock thick and hard against his ass, "Jace, Raziel, knot me, please, please—"
Jace nips the delicate skin behind his ear as he pulls away. "That's it, parabatai, now you're being honest."
Alec chokes off his words into a whine, stops himself from continuing to beg now that Jace has said yes, even though he doesn't want to stop. Part of him wants to give in just a little bit more. Wants Jace to know exactly what Alec wants from him.
“If I let you go,” Jace asks conversationally, “are you going to be good?”
Yes, Alec thinks, the thought shivery.
Jace lets him up. Alec follows him, pushing himself up on his elbows and twisting around to unlace his boots, tangling the laces horribly when Jace leans over to bite the back of his neck as he does.
Jace laughs, low, and the sound goes straight to Alec’s cock. He grinds the heel of his hand into the base of his cock and tries to catch his breath, but the sound of Jace opening and closing his bedside drawer then the pop of a cap makes him scramble to strip off his jeans.
Jace is naked when Alec finishes stripping and twists back around, kneeling on the bed, Alec obeys with a whine when Jace motions for Alec to turn around with a smirk and a twirl of his hand.
Jace settles against his back as soon as Alec does, fingers sliding wet against Alec’s hole and mouth hot against his shoulder. Alec gives a strangled groan when Jace bites down gently as he slides a slick finger into Alec’s ass.
Alec shoves back onto Jace’s finger after only a few seconds, adjusting to the burn with the ease of long practice, and Jace can read his body well enough to know what Alec can take. He adds another finger, and oh, fuck, Alec digs fingers into the sheets as Jace stretches him out, the action entirely different when someone else does it.
Jace is drooling wet and messy all over his shoulder as he lubes up and adds a third finger, then a fourth, fucking Alec with clever twists of his fingers that glance over his prostate, leaving Alec moaning and so aroused that he feels lightheaded.
Jace pulls his fingers out, reaching for the lube again, when Alec gives a warning growl, because he’s as prepared as he’s going to be and he wants.
He puts his hands on Alec’s hips, forcing him still when Alec tries to shove back impatiently, leaving Alec nowhere to go, with no choice but to submit as Jace slowly bottoms out.
Jace fucks him hard, each thrust dragging a noise out of Alec’s throat that’s almost a growl, pleasure winding him up because Jace isn’t bothering with slow.
Alec can barely stand it, the feel of Jace’s cock in him or the anticipation, his own cock dripping pre-come as he clenches down on Jace, too desperate for Jace’s knot to care about anything else.
“Please,” he begs, desperate, whining. “Fuck, please.”
“Fuck,” Jace hisses, jerking Alec back as he thrusts forward. Alec moans as Jace nails his prostate, over and over again, and if Jace so much as touched his cock right now, Alec would come.
It’s too much, too much of what he’s wanted from Jace for as long as he can remember, and he begs again, he thinks, for Jace’s hand, for Jace to knot him, because like this — mounted, neither of them caring about drawing it out, just a desperate chase for pleasure — like this, Alec isn’t going to last. No matter how much a part of him wants Jace to never stop.
Alec moans again, sound trailing off into a choked off attempt at please and Jace’s name, and he’s never come untouched before but he thinks he might.
He does. And Jace doesn’t stop, just moans his name, Alec, and keeps fucking him, even as each thrust of his cock times perfectly with Alec’s orgasm.
“Fuck,” Jace says again, ripping his hands away from Alec’s hips to wrap one arm around his middle and brace the other next to Alec’s head, and Alec feels himself shudder because the sharp thrust of Jace’s cock becomes shorter and more desperate.
Alec's arms give out and he buries his face in the sheets gratefully, cheek pressed against his own forearm as Jace grinds against him deeply, the movement meant to finally lock them together.
Jace goes still, draped over Alec’s back, teeth grazing the back of Alec’s neck as his knot swells.
The low, strangled, moan that leaves Alec’s mouth feels like it takes the rest of his composure with it, his last desperate attempt at not losing himself to Jace slipping away.
He's trembling, a flash of heat that makes his eyes sting with tears going through him, and he's on the edge something, pleasure so intense it feels like a knife.
He shifts, grinding back against Jace, the slow movement pulling on the knot locked in him. Jace snarls low and warning above him, and the combination tips him over the edge.
His own knot swells, drawing another strangled noise from him, a rumbling, purring growl of bone deep satiation, and Alec can't think anymore, mind going white.
He can feel Jace panting at the back of his neck, soft little growls of pleasure that vibrate through Alec's body and make him shake harder.
Alec bites down on his own arm. His teeth are sharp and blood blooms in his mouth, the action a vain attempt to quiet the noises he’s making; to try and quiet himself so Jace doesn’t realise how much Alec is enjoying this.
More than he should. More than he would ever admit to, if he had had a choice.
He can't think, every nerve ending alight with pleasure, heat coiling low in his belly where Jace is locked and pulsing inside him.
He's knotted on nothing, making a mess underneath them. He’s never felt this good. Not when he was riding his own fingers and wishing for more, not when he fucked his own fist until his knot swelled up and locked within the cage of it, leaving him fucked out and sated.
Alec's muffled growls turn into a whine that shakes through them both when Jace wraps his fingers around Alec's knot, pleasure sharpening, and Alec has to pull his mouth away from his arm to prevent his teeth from grazing bone.
Jace's bruising grip on his hip is the only thing keeping him from completely collapsing. Alec has no choice but to stay right where he is, trapped and strung out on a wire of knife's edge pleasure between Jace's knot and Jace’s hand.
Alec is moaning and panting and crying, everything too much and finally enough. Everything he’s ever wanted, dreamed of, craved.
Alec never wants it to stop. Never wants this to end.
Jace keeps grinding into him, little motions of his hips that sends pleasure sparking across Alec's nerves and making his cock jump. Jace's grip on his knot is punishingly tight, giving Alec the illusion of being knotted inside someone, and it's fucking fantastic, leaving him plaint and willing under Jace.
He can't think, can barely breathe, chest heaving as his body as his body pants for air and doesn't find enough.
By the time Jace's orgasm tapers off and his knot softens enough for him to pull out — away, no, that's the last thing Alec wants right now — Alec is beyond the ability to pretend that this was a mistake. That it meant nothing.
He feels so good that he can't even care. About the fact that Jace is no longer drugged, or that there's no way Jace doesn't know now.
He lets himself sink down onto the bed in a boneless sprawl when Jace shifts away, although "lets" is probably an overstatement. Alec doesn't think he could move right now even if he wanted to.
"You promised not to hate me," Alec murmurs, throat raw, wishing he could sound less blissed out than he does.
He's high on endorphins and dopamine. He can't manage to feel less blissed out than he sounds, even as he licks the last of his own blood off of his teeth.
Fuck, he’s filthy. The bed is filthy, Alec should move, this is disgusting.
The mess underneath him is also imprinting their intermingled scent onto his skin.
Alec doesn’t move.
There's silence from Jace for a longer moment than Alec would like.
"Don't try and pretend you were a convient fuck, Alec” Jace says, after that beat of silence. “Not when you are the least convenient person I could choose."
Choose. Like Jace hadn't just turned to Alec because he's been drugged out of his mind and forgotten they were both pretending Alec's feelings for him were brotherly and appropriate.
"You promised," Alec says, instead of that.
Alec feels Jace moving next to him, reaching out, but doesn't realise what Jace is doing until Jace's hand is already wrapped around the back of his neck and squeezing.
"You are so fucking stupid, parabatai," Jace grits out, low and vicious, bent low over Alec, lips brushing the shell of Alec's ear.
Alec arches into Jace reflexively, heat skating across his nerves like he's touched a livewire.
“You’ve got my come dripping down your thighs and you don’t to do anything about it because you want to keep smelling like us and you were so out of it you bit yourself,” Jace hisses. “For fuck’s sake, Alec, the only reason I didn’t bite you is because I knew you’d never believe me if I did it while under the influence.”
Alec’s brain stalls.
“What—” he starts, but snaps his mouth shut so quickly his teeth click together when Jace sets his teeth high on Alec’s neck, right behind his ear, nose brushing along Alec’s jaw.
“Tell me no,” Jace says, voice low, sounding more reasonable than Alec feels he should, considering what he’s telling Alec. Doing to Alec. Fuck.
Alec’s heart feels like it’s going to break out of his ribcage, with how hard it’s pounding. “No,” he breathes out, the opposite of a denial.
Jace bites down, lethally sharp canines slicing easily through Alec’s body, sinking deep into his skin.
Alec’s body goes haywire. He tries to relax and tense up at the same time, neither impulse under his conscious control, fingers digging into the sheets and arching back up into Jace even has the sharp pain makes him struggle to hold still. To not jerk against Jace’s bite.
Jace doesn’t pull his teeth out of Alec’s neck until Alec has gone limp, lightheaded from the steady pain and the new surge of endorphins flooding his blood.
Alec can’t stop whimpering, even when Jace has pulled away. Licked Alec’s blood off his lips, licked the messy trails of it off of Alec’s neck, gentle over the wound, saliva slowing the blood flow.
Alec’s own teeth are pricking against his lips, saliva flooding his mouth as he fights to control his urge to bite, because —
Jace marked his neck, which means Alec is going to mark Jace’s wrist.
It’s — It’s not — Jace has issues letting people put their hands on his. Shies away from the contact in a way that looks natural because he’s perfected it with a drive bordering on obsession, and — everyone is going to see Alec’s mark on his wrist. Because all the long term residents of the Institute are aware of Jace’s neurosis.
And they’re — they work with their hands. Everyone will notice the scar on Jace’s wrist before they ever notice the one Jace left on Alec.
When his teeth slide into Jace’s wrist, Jace doesn’t make a sound. Alec’s upper canines are just over the curve of his wrist, digging into the bone even as his fangs bite deep into the soft flesh on the underside of Jace’s wrist.
Alec can’t bring himself to unlock his teeth, not until long after he should, Jace draped over him, body lax, face pressed to Alec’s neck.
“So stupid,” Jace mumbles when Alec finally unlocks his jaw and pulls away, licking blood from his lips. “Angel, I should have just pinned you down and knotted you years ago instead of leaving shit like this.”
“I wouldn’t have let you,” Alec admits. He’d have been too terrified that he was influencing Jace, that Jace was giving Alec what he thought he had to, to make Alec stay.
“Yeah,” Jace agrees, sounding regretful. He nuzzles Alec’s neck gently, brushing against the wound he’s left with a sharp sting of pain. Alec doesn’t even care.
“I love you,” Alec says, heart lodged in his throat, inexplicably terrified at saying it out loud.
“You’ve always been mine,” Jace whispers, each word lodging itself into Alec’s ribs and sticking. “From the moment I met you, you were mine, even if I didn’t know it then. Even if it took us years to get here. Ne adverseris mihi ut relinqum te, parabatai. I love you too.”