Actions

Work Header

all the stars are closer

Chapter Text

Class 1-A is bored. Very bored. Criminally bored. They're not used to this. It's... alarming. Izuku's certain a choice classmate (*cough* Bakugou *cough*) is going to unleash his irritation at this situation in a less than ideal manner.

You see, Class 1-A isn't used to being bored. Usually, the producers of UA, the reality TV show they star in, give them something to do, cough up an exciting scenario, force them to jump from planes or consume dried cow tongues, but today they had simply told them it was their turn to be exciting. They could do whatever they wished today. They went to the mall (got hounded by reporters and mobs of fans) and bought their assortment of clothes. (Katsuki from Hot Topic, Izuku from Urban Outfitters, Shouto from Gucci, Mina from Hollister, Momo from Nordstrom, etc.) The problem is, that didn't take up the whole day, and the only other ideas they have are, frankly, either not exciting enough for the show, or consist solely of blowing things up.

Izuku, Katsuki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Iida, Ochako, Mina, Todoroki, Momo, and Jirou have been lazily slouched over armchairs and loveseats and couches and floors for exactly 29 minutes, which may not seem like that long a time, but believe me, when you're doing absolutely nothing, it feels like an eternity and then some. It's been made the slightest bit more bearable by the fact that the UA mansion holds an excellent assortment of furniture to slouch over. The others had decided to visit family over the weekend. Lucky bastards.

When Katsuki acquires a dangerous glint to his eye and begins eyeing everyone around him a bit psychotically, hands beginning to smoke, Izuku knows he has to do something, so he says the only thing he can think of. "Let's play truth or dare!"

"What? Why?" Jirou asks.

Mina squeals and claps her hands together like a giddy schoolgirl. (Spoiler alert: she's a giddy schoolgirl.) "Why not? You don't need a reason to play truth or dare!"

Bakugou narrows his eyes, palms crackling now. "Fuck no."

"But—"

"Absolutely the fuck not."

"Come on, Kacchan, please," Izuku pleads. "We're all super bored and it would be good for the show."

"Like I fucking give a shit about that."

"Come on, bro!" Kaminari urges.

"Do the manly thing!" Kirishima says.

"I suppose it sounds like it could be fun," Momo says.

"I've never played." Todoroki's face is deadpan when he adds, "I would like to reclaim my childhood in an act of petty vengeance against my miscreant of a father."

"It'll be exciting!" Uraraka adds.

"I would actually prefer not to—"

"Shut up, Iida!"

Katsuki still isn't moved.

Izuku sighs, the kind of long-suffering, weary sort of sigh you can only acquire through many years of pain and hardship at the hands of Bakugou Katsuki. "Kacchan, don't make me do this..."

Bakugou blanches. "You wouldn't dare." Izuku only stares at him, face determined. "I swear to fucking God, shitnerd, if you—" Too late. Izuku's turned it on.

It's a magical thing, really. Everyone gasps, trying to shield themselves from the blinding brilliance of Izuku's puppy dog eyes. They're large and green and tantalizing and oh God—"Fine, I'll do it! I'll fucking do it! Just turn that shit off, Deku, it's blinding me!"

Izuku smiles slightly, almost smirking, and does as he's bidden.

The others, who've never experienced the full force of Izuku's adorableness, just sit there, dazed for at least another minute before Kirishima finally says, "Bro, are you sure that wasn't your quirk?"

Izuku giggles and shit if that's not the cutest thing anyone's ever heard. "Yeah, pretty sure. I've been told I can be pretty convincing if I widen my eyes a little and pout."

Kaminari shakes his head like a dog, like he's trying to shake something. "Dude, that wasn't being 'pretty convincing' that was some next level shit right there. In that moment, I would've thrown myself in front of a bus in for you. I would've gave up memes for you."

Eijiro drags his hands down his face, pale. "I would've burned my crocs!"

"I think I'm a bit dizzy," Momo says, looking a shade too green. "That was both exhilarating and exhausting."

"Fuck, Deku, you can't just pull that shit!" Katsuki growls. "It's too much for these fuckin' extras to handle."

Izuku shrugs. "I warned you." He grins. "Anyway, we've got a game of truth or dare to play, don't we?"

The camera crew suddenly spring to life, animated. They take their positions around the group, waiting for something to happen.

"So who's gonna be questioned first?" Jirou asks.

"I will. You can ask me," Mina says. "And how about we make this a little more interesting. Momo, will you create a lie detector?" Momo produces a mini lie detector and hands it to Mina. "All right, we'll use this to make sure no one's lying. You're allowed to pass, but every time you pass you get shocked a little by Denki which will basically give the illusion that you're drunk 'cause you'll be all woozy and weird. Got it?"

"Yep!" everyone choruses, except Bakugou, who's simmering on the sofa, looking very much like a pissed-off chihuahua with anger issues.

"Okay, Mina, truth or dare?" Jirou asks.

"Hmm, let's say... dare!" Mina grins, baring her teeth in a Bakugou sort of way.

Jirou tugs on one of her earbuds thoughtfully before saying, "Prank call Aizawa-sensei."

Mina's eyes widen. "What? What am I supposed to say?!"

"Umm, tell him you're pregnant."

"Ha. Ha. Hahaha. This is such a funny joke, Kyouka."

"Oh, this isn't a joke."

Mina sighs, resigned, and pulls out her hot pink phone. She taps in her password with long neon green acrylics and goes to her Contacts.

Uraraka giggles. "You have Aizawa-sensei in there as 'Sleepy Caterpillar'?"

Momo shrugs. "I suppose it fits quite well."

Right before Mina calls him, Iida cuts in. "I don't know if this is a very good idea! Just think about the repercussions—"

"A dare is a dare, Iida," Mina says, then hits dial.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ri—"There must be a very, very good reason you are waking me up at this ungodly hour, Ashido," a very tired, very irritated, very weary voice says.

"It's only, like, 7:00 PM right now."

"Don't backtalk me, Ashido."

Mina snorts. "Yeah, yeah, Aizawa-sensei."

"So why have you called me?"

Jirou throws Mina a look. Todoroki leans forward, small, amused smile playing on his lips. Mina takes a deep breath. "Okay, so here's the thing. Um, I... don't know how else to say it, so I 'm just gonna, um, I'm pregnant!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant. Very, erm"—Mina coughs, desperately scanning the room and motioning for someone to tell her what to say—"very pregnant. So pregnant, in fact, that I might go into labor any minute now. I can feel the baby kickin' right now, actually! It's a girl. I've decided to name her Emika. She's going to be staying with me in my room in the mansion. I bought her a whole bunch of clothes already. They're all very cute. She's cute. Not that I can see her. I mean, I saw the ultrasound. Obviously. Because I have a baby. I do. I really, really do."

Aizawa heaves out a l e n g t h y sigh. "And who is the father?"

Mina nearly drops the phone, whacking Jirou in the arm, waiting for her to give her an answer. Kyouka just shrugs. Mina blurts out the first name she can think of. "Izuku!"

"Izuku. Midoriya Izuku. He is the father?"

"Yep, the one and only!" Mina chirps.

Izuku's entire face has turned red. The poor thing might be about to have a heart attack. Oh, well. He lived a good life. Sort of. Not really. At least he'll be able to die knowing Emika will come into this world. Okay, so maybe he's a little dramatic.

"And when did this happen?" Aizawa asks.

"When did what happen?" Mina sounds like she's trying a little too hard to be innocent. Her eyes are bugging out a little. She looks like a pink devil who's a little psychotic. Okay, maybe a lot psychotic. Izuku buries his face in his hands and moans. Kirishima squeezes his shoulder sympathetically.

"When did you two procreate?"

Everyone in the room splutters. Hearing their teacher say that, as technical the term as it is, is more than a little funny, and makes them more than a little uncomfortable.

"Erm, uh, well, um, six weeks ago!"

Katsuki looks at Mina blankly, and deadpan whispers, "I am so disappointed in you."

"Doesn't it take nine weeks?" Kaminari adds quietly.

"You guys are all fucking idiots."

"This must be the shortest pregnancy yet," Aizawa says, "if you're about to go into labor any second now."

Mina sighs. "All right, all right, this isn't real. It was a dare."

"Obviously."

"What?" Mina throws her hands up. "You knew?"

"Of course. There were an incredible amount of flaws in your story. One, you were prattling on and on at the beginning, a clear sign of lying. Two, Midoriya would never. He is too pure." Everyone murmurs in agreement at this. "Three, it is not humanly possible for a baby to fully form in the womb in six weeks. I think we may need a Health class here. And four, I could hear everyone speaking in the background. I have no idea if you were attempting to be quiet or not, but it didn't work."

"Dang it. Welp, I tried. Thanks, Aizawa. Bye!" Mina hangs up and scans the room. "So who's next?"

"Ooh! I wanna go!" Kaminari shouts excitedly. He looks a bit like a puppy, the kind that are overly excitable and chase their own tails. If he'd turned his head in that moment, he'd have seen Eijiro practically beaming at him, like he was a beacon of warm light. If he'd turned his head, he probably wouldn't've understood what the look meant and chalked it up to Eijiro being a bro. Kaminari isn't the best at deciphering looks, or deciphering anything, really.

"Okay. Truth or dare?" Mina asks.

"Um... dare."

"All right." Mina smirks. "Strip and twerk in front of the camera to Truth Hurts."

"On TV?" Denki asks. He doesn't actually look too bothered, which is a tad concerning.

"Yep."

"Okay!"

"Pikachu, I swear to fucking God, if you get naked in front of the camera I'm fucking exploding you."

"Relax, bro, it's only for like a few seconds. Just for the dare."

Izuku scratches the back of his neck. "I—I don't know if this is a very good idea."

"It is most definitely not!" Iida waves his arms around frantically.

"I'm confused," Todoroki says. "What exactly is happening right now?"

"Are we even allowed to do this?" Momo asks, sounding worried. She looks sort of like a mom and sort of like a hot nerd from a rom-com. It makes for a very strange (and strangely appealing) image.

"Only one way to find out!" Kaminari says cheerfully. "Besides, I'm not gonna go totally naked. I'll still wear my boxers, dudes, don't even worry."

"Yes," Todoroki says dryly. "Don't even worry."

"Hey, your dad's probably gonna see this, Todo," Ochako giggles. "It'll be even more of a disappointment!"

Todoroki's eyes suddenly light up. "Hell yes."

Kirishima throws him a concerned look.

Kaminari twerks to Truth Hurts. It's a little fantastic. Also a little traumatizing. Iida covers Izuku's eyes with thinly concealed horror. (Little does he know Izuku's seen it all already.)

1,000,000 dares later plus a shit-ton of shocking from Denki and more than a little deliriousness

"Listen up, Izu! My bro of bros! My manliest man!" Kirishima slurs.

"Aye aye, captain." Izuku giggles madly, head tipped back and eyes alight with the kind of joy you can only achieve at that certain time of the night when everything's all sort of weird and fuzzy but you're surrounded by people you love who are all just as crazy as you are.

"Truth or dare?"

"Uh..." Izuku thinks long and hard. He's already taken quite a few dares, many of which constituted mayonnaise and/or Mina's underwear. He's tired. "Truth."

"Cool, cool, cool." Kirishima tips forward and catches himself on Izuku's shoulder. "Okay... so, I've got an... an important question fr'you!"

"Mhm."

"Whad'you think of Bakubro? Explodo-boy? Blasty?" 

Katsuki's head snaps up from where he's been lazily splayed on the couch, half-asleep, mindlessly letting his friends (yes, he'll admit it) soft chatter and giggles lull him into a sleepy stupor. He considers blasting Eijiro in the face, and then exploding Izuku too, but then his already low friend count would be lowered even more, and if he's being totally honest (when is he not?), he wants to hear what Izuku has to say.

Izuku's delirium loosens his lips, the words slipping from them barely registering in his mind before they're out for all to see. (Literally. They're still being filmed. The camera crew are exhausted. Dammit, Greg just wants a fucking caramel macchiato.) "I mean, I think everyone knows what I think of him. He's... He's like a fire. Bright and passionate and brave and always reaching higher—"

"Also 'cause you think he's hot. Like a fire. 'Cause fires are hot," Ochako interjects somberly.

Izuku waves a lazy hand. "Yeah, 'course. And he's basically my idol. Like, All Might's this person I've looked up to for ages, watching videos of him and reading articles 'bout him, but he wasn't the only one I've been obsessing over since I could talk. I mean, I had a whole ass hero right in front of me the whole time. And I knew it. From the very start. There's just... just something 'bout Kacchan. He's a goddamn inferno, a perfect mess. Also hot. Like Ochako said. But that's just obvious. Also, I'm hungry. Do we have any kale? I have an intense craving and I feel like I should eat as much as I can right now 'cause I usually hate kale but it's good for me. Y'know?"

"Bro," Kirishima says.

"Bro," Kaminari says.

"Bro," they say in unison. "Man, that was some deep shit right there."

"What?" Izuku cocks his head. "The kale?"

"No, the stuff about Bakugou!" Denki looks weirdly energized.

"Yeah," Kirishima agrees. "You sounded like a poet. A drunk, high poet, but a poet nonetheless."

"Cool, but I really want some kale," Izuku says.

Momo looks at him appraisingly. "I don't think I ever realized how far your feelings extend for him. It's truly amazing."

"I mean, they are childhood friends and all." Ochako shrugs.

"I, personally, do not understand this... infatuation," Todoroki says. "But whatever makes you happy, makes me... tolerant."

"Thank you, Todo-kun," Midoriya says, "but no one's answered my question—"

"D'you think Bakugou feels the same?" Jirou asks, ignoring the fact that Bakugou is currently right behind her. She probably thinks he's asleep.

"I mean, I think so." Mina grins fiendishly. "I honestly kinda ship them."

Izuku squirms. "Okay, but the kale—"

"High-key," Kirishima and Kaminari breathe, nodding.

"Oh my God, you're absolutely right," Momo says, expression thoughtful. "They would make an excellent pairing. Izuku all sweet and Bakugou all... fiery?"

Izuku looks like he's on the verge of either tears or a temper tantrum. He opens his mouth and before he can even ask Katsuki snaps—

"Jesus fucking Christ, will someone get him some goddamn kale?!"

 

Chapter Text

Momo is scared. For the safety of her classmates, for the safety of the innocent civilians, and for the sanity of all parties involved. You see, Class 1-A are going to the mall. All of them. And these excursions always (always) end fantastically disastrously. This works out wonderfully for the show (content is content) but maybe not so much for everyone else.

Because of this, whenever they head to the mall, they're split into groups appointed by Iida. Each group has a so-called "parent" that makes sure no one's killing or being killed among other things. In Group 1, aka the Explodo Cinnamon Rolls, there's Deku, the parent, Katsuki, Ochako, Mina, Tsuyu, Jirou, and Aoyama. In Group 2, aka the Dark Manly Speedy Bros, there's Iida, the parent, Kirishima, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Sero, Mineta, and Ojiro. In the final group, Group 3, aka the Confused Children, there's Momo, the parent, Todoroki, Shinsou (honorary member), Hagakure, Shoji, Koda, and Sato.

Group 1 drive to the mall in a sleek, dark convertible blasting music that makes them feel like badasses from a movie, mixed in with a few Taylor Swift and Shawn Mendes songs because of course.

Group 2 drive to the mall in Iida's clunky minivan, sticking their heads out the windows and hooting, much to Iida's chagrin.

Group 3 drive to the mall in a shiny black limousine, conversing about school and baking and small farm animals.

When they all arrive (Group 1 first, Groups 2 and 3 in near-perfect synchrony) they meet inside a bustling coffee shop thick with the scent of buttery scones and coffee grinds. The shop is not necessarily small, but it shouldn't be able to hold all of Class 1-A and then some, but it does, as always. They order their frappuccinos and hot cocos and teas and iced grande sugar-free vanilla lattes with soy milk and two squeezes of caramel without the straw, please and thank you, and exit the shop, choosing to clear up some space and drink their respective drinks while strolling through the mall.

They split off into their groups, as per usual.

Group 3, the Confused Children, decide to go to Claire's. Hagakure wants to buy some cheap Minnie Mouse earrings and a Jojo Siwa bow. Shouto wants to know who the hell Jojo Siwa is, and whether putting pastel butterfly clips in his hair will piss off his dad. Shinsou wants to see Shouto wearing pastel butterfly clips. Shoji, Koda, and Sato don't mind at all what they do, as long as they get to go to Cinnabun afterward. Momo just wants everyone to behave.

When they enter Claire's, they're immediately accosted by hordes of teenage girls who are promptly scared off by their security guards. Hagakure scolds the security, telling them she would have gladly taken some photos and signed some autographs. Security just shrug. They're only doing their job, after all.

Claire's is having a sale. Buy 3 items, get 3 free. Money is not an issue for Todoroki, but even he must admit that that is an excellent deal.

"Hitoshi," Shouto says. "Which scrunchies should I get?"

Shinsou looks up wearily, or maybe he's actually completely awake, it's hard to tell. The bags under his eyes are permanent, and he always wears the same bored expression. Him and Todoroki are alike in a lot of ways. Shouto's holding up a pack of scrunchies colored pink and lilac and pale blue and another colored yellow and orange and maroon. "The first one."

Todoroki nods wisely and moves on to snag some clip-on My Little Pony earrings, scratch and sniff stickers, mint-flavored chapstick, a unicorn headband, and, yes, pastel butterfly clips. Hagakure acquires her earrings and bow; Shoji, Koda, and Sato each grab matching rainbow friendship bracelets, plus one extra for Ojiro. Momo smiles. All is well... for now.

They mill around a little while longer (Todoroki buys Shinsou some eyeliner from Sephora, Shinsou buys Todoroki a dark sweatshirt with 'DADDY ISSUES' printed in bold white on the front, Momo buys a nice floral blouse and some cherry blossom perfume) before stopping at the food court per Shoji, Koda, and Sato's request. They want Cinnabun. Who is Momo to deny them?

They order cinnamon rolls, remarking on their likeness to Izuku, and sit down at one of the many tables. They look a sight, with cameramen and security guards surrounding them, but it's not enough to deter one certain young lady. She pushes past the security guards before they even realize she's there, and they're so startled they don't even react when she steps forward and taps Todoroki's shoulder.

Shouto turns around, staring at the girl blankly, head cocked slightly in confusion. "Hello?"

"Hi. My name's Emika. I—" The girl pauses, frowning. "Why are you laughing?"

Shouto is indeed laughing, a soft, rustling sort of thing. "I'm sorry. It's only that my friend birthed you. Mina Ashido, I'm sure you've heard of her."

"What?"

"Sorry, inside joke," Todoroki says, and for some reason, being able to say that—the fact that he has inside jokes, fills him with a warm, delighted sort of feeling.

"Right," the girl says, ruffled. "Well, I came over here to ask you for something."

"Um, yes?"

"Your number."

"My number..." Shouto bites his lip in contemplation before finally saying, "15, I suppose."

Emika blinks. The Confused Children, sans Shouto, burst out laughing. "Um, excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, is that not an acceptable number?" Todoroki's brow furrows like he's very confused. He is very confused.

"I—I meant your phone number," Emika says.

"Oh. Oh. Why would you want that?"

"So I could... text you?"

"Why?" The most horrible part of all this is the fact that Shouto seems genuinely baffled. Shinsou finds it incredibly endearing.

"Because I like you!" the girl snaps.

"But you don't know me?" Shouto blanches. "Oh no, have we met before? I'm so sorry. I honestly have no idea who you are. I mean—"

The girl runs off. Shouto turns back to the table, guilty and confused for all the wrong reasons.

"Shouto, do you realize what just happened?" Ojiro asks, not unkindly.

"Not really, no," Shouto murmurs.

"Oh, Shouto." Yaoyorozu pats his hand sympathetically. He is very confused.

"That girl was a fan," Sato says. "You never met her in person."

"But she said she liked me?" Shouto frowns.

"Shouto." Shinsou's lips twitch, amused. "You realize that there are millions of people who have a celebrity crush on you, right?"

"Celebrity crush?"

"Yeah!" Hagakure says. "Like when you have a crush on a celebrity, someone you know you're not really going to date but you still love to dream about."

"Like if I had a crush on Shinsou?" Shouto asks, innocent as a puppy, completely oblivious to the way Shinsou colors beet red, curling into himself.

"Hypothetically, right?" Shinsou says.

"Of course."

"Um, no, not like if you had a crush on Shinsou." Hagakure laughs.

"Why not? He's a celebrity."

"Yeah, but so are you, and, let's just say, you could do a bit more than dream with him."

"I... don't understand?"

"I figured you wouldn't. It's okay, young one, you'll figure it out someday."

"Quit confusing him, Tooru," Momo giggles. Hagakure blushes at the fond tone to Momo's voice. She's glad she's invisible so no one can see.

"You know," Sato says. "That entire thing's gonna be seen by people all over the world."

Shouto blinks. "Shit." Then, "Do you think father will be angry?"

 

Meanwhile...

 

Group 2, the Dark Manly Speedy Bros, have decided to check out Victoria's Secret.

Iida had no idea what Victoria's Secret was until a few minutes ago. He wonders what secret Victoria could possibly have because it doesn't look like she's hiding anything.

Mineta's lusting over the mannequins, looking two seconds away from drooling all over the floor. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero are spritzing each other with perfumes called things like Summer Breeze and Apple Orchard. Tokoyami is brooding in the shadows, eyes narrowed. Ojiro is attempting (keyword: attempting) to calm Iida, who's demanding they leave immediately. It's a whole ordeal.

They finally leave after Mineta starts licking one of the mannequins, Kaminari passes out shortly from the excessive fumes, Tokoyami scares the shit out of an employee, and Iida almost has a heart attack. Iida immediately agrees with Kirishima's suggestion to go to the candy store. He's willing to do anything else at this point, even allow his fellow classmates to rot their teeth with overly sweet material tooth decay.

Once in the candy store (Sugar Rush) a little girl, maybe four or five, bounds up to the Dark Manly Speedy Bros, skipping and beaming and laughing pure sunshine. She stops in front of them and says, "You guys are the TV people."

Kaminari grins and Kirishima drops down to her level. "Yep, that's us!"

She points at Kirishima. "Rock Boy." Kaminari. "Stupid Shocker." Mineta. "Pervert Asshole. Or at least that's what my mommy says." Sero. "Meh." Iida. "Thick Legs." (Iida looks positively scandalized.) Tokoyami. "Emo Pigeon." And then finally, Ojiro. She hugs his leg and smiles up at him, dimpling. "And cool nice guy! My favorite!"

Ojiro blushes. Profusely. You see, he's not used to being noticed. He often fades into the background, outshined by Izuku and Katsuki and Todoroki, and he's fine with that. But it doesn't mean he enjoys it really. So for this little girl clad in braids and a pink tutu to call him her favorite? It's kind of a big deal.

He scoops her up in his arms, tail tickling her face. "What's your name, cutie?"

She giggles. "Aimi!"

Aimi's mom rushes over, phone in hand. "Would you mind if I took a picture of you two? She's just obsessed!"

Ojiro blushes harder. "Of course not! Go ahead!"

The security guards eye Aimi warily, and Ojiro gives them a look that means that if they so much as breathe wrong in her direction he'll murder everyone in the store. They look away.

After a few (million) pictures and a few (million) bags of candy, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero decide to sneak off and have some real fun. Iida is not happy, but also not surprised. Oh, well. What can you do? He, Ojiro, and Tokoyami take a seat on a bench and eat sour gummy worms. Tokoyami silently seethes at being called an "Emo Pigeon." Iida wonders whether his legs are actually thick. (They are. Thicc actually.)

Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero all go up an escalator, and dramatically fall at the top, blocking the way for everyone else to get off. They pretend to be passed out. There are four types of people in this situation.

1. The "I'm honestly just done with life" kinda people. Aka, the ones who completely ignore that anything has happened at all and step over with a simultaneously bored and miserable expression that perfectly conveys the hopeless tragedy that is their life.

2. The "wtf bro" kinda people. They toe at the three boys, a little irritated, a lot confused, before shrugging and continuing on their way, occasionally stopping throughout the rest of their day and wondering Whatever did happen to those guys?

3. The "huh?" kinda people. You know who they are. They're a little slow in the brain and when faced with a slightly confusing or difficult situation, just shut down. They'll just stand there, staring at the boys, wondering what the hell they're supposed to do. The thought of merely stepping over them not even crossing their minds because who the hell needs a brain anyway, right? Right?

4. The "AHH OMG HOLY SHIT WAHHH" kinda people. They scream. They shout. They wave their arms. They call mall security and get Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero nearly kicked out of the mall. (Nearly.)

The three boys move on.

They pretend to be zombies, chasing grown men and telling them they're going to eat their brains. They make loud remarks about their opinions on vegetables. (Kiri: Dude, asparagus is just so... so bland, you know?  Sero: Wtf, dude, that's so not true, asparagus is where it's at! Kami: Okay, but what about potatoes? Like they're literally vegetable impostors. I feel betrayed. What the fuck.) They attempt to swim in the koi fish fountain and eventually get kicked out of the mall, where they call Iida, Ojiro, and Tokoyami and agree that maybe they should spend the rest of the time in the minivan playing video games. What made the whole ordeal even funnier was the fact that once people recognized who they were, they instantly relaxed. Everyone knows how Class 1-A is. No one bothers to ask questions anymore. It's pointless.

But the worst hasn't come yet.

We now get to Group 3, the Explodo Cinnamon Rolls. Now, what could possibly go wrong here? (insert evil cackling)

Aoyama insists they get their nails done. No one argues. Everyone loves a good manicure every once in a while.

Aoyama gets his fingernails painted a glossy white with yellow gemstones engraved in them. Ochako gets hers painted bright pink with little flowers. Mina gets neon acrylics that induce headaches. Jirou gets hers painted plain purple, grumbling about how stupid this whole thing is. (She loves it.) Tsuyu gets hers painted green with smiley faces on them. Izuku, blushing, simply gets clear polish, despite Aoyama's loud protests. Katsuki's fingernails are painted a black so dark it's really more the absence of light. A scary, maniacal grin never leaves his face.

They stop at Hot Topic, which Aoyama refuses to enter for "fear of the devil."

Izuku cowers behind Katsuki, overwhelmed. Katsuki grins.

Bakugou ends up leaving with a dark leather jacket that, frankly, has Izuku and many other fangirls salivating, a black sweatshirt that says "Fight First, Talk Later" which Katsuki says should really say "Fight First, Talk Never" and a black beanie to complete the explosive look. He looks like he's on the brink of combustion and loves it.

Then... shenanigans ensue. Izuku would like to say that he tried his best to rein everyone in but, let's face it, he wasn't much better. How can he say no to his friends?

Ochako and Mina wander into extremely fancy stores and repeatedly inquire about where they can get some "goddamn grapes," to which most of the store clerks reply, "OMG, you guys are famous! Can we get a selfie?"

Tsuyu and Jirou walk around offering strangers Pez and pretending to be mannequins inside stores that don't sell clothes.

Aoyama sits down in a Sephora, trying on all the makeup samples. He bumps into Todoroki, who's buying some eyeliner for Shinsou, much to the purple-haired boy's embarrassment.

While the others are doing their own thing, Bakugou grabs Deku's wrist, and Deku marvels at the feeling of it. He's not trying to shatter his bone or twist his wrist. He's holding it almost gently like one might hold a small mouse or bird. Katsuki's not exactly dragging him along either; it's more like he's holding Izuku's hand, but only his wrist instead, playing it safe.

"Okay, shitty Deku, here's what we're gonna do." Bakugou grins wildly and small explosions crackle in his palms.

"Y-Yes?" Izuku stutters.

"I want you to run up to that guy over there—do you see him?"

Izuku nods. There's a guy probably around their age scrolling on his phone, McDonald's bag in hand.

"And you're gonna hug him and tell him you're his biggest fan, then ask for a selfie or some shit like that. Got it?"

Deku does not want to do this. He actually, really does not want to do this. His anxiety is going through the roof, but when is it not? "Yeah, um, okay, Kacchan. But if it gets too embarrassing or if he gets mad at me or something, I'm—I'm going to be mad at you!"

Katsuki's mouth quirks up. He ruffles Izuku's hair. "Yeah, okay, Deku."

Izuku puts on his best determined face and runs over to the guy, throwing his arms around him. "Oh, my God! I'm your biggest fan!"

The guy blinks, then blinks again. He looks down at Izuku with wide eyes. "Umm, holy shit, you're... you're Midoriya Izuku. You're from that one show."

"Yeah, but enough about me. You don't understand, you're my idol! I completely look up to you!"

The guy scratches his neck nervously. "You, uh, you do?"

Izuku nods quickly. "Yep. I'm a big fan of your work."

"My... work?"

"Yeah! Do you mind if I take a selfie with you?"

"Not at all!" the guy exclaims, looking both baffled and pleased.

Right as they're taking the picture, Bakugou appears in the background, explosions in his hands. The guy whips around, screaming, and falls on his butt. "AHH! What was that?! Holy shit!"

Izuku can't help it. He laughs. A lot. Katsuki looks absurdly pleased. The guy stands up and runs off, muttering about that "sorcerer bullshit."

They do this to a few other people. One time, Izuku actually makes Katsuki run up and hug someone, proclaiming his awe for them. He manages to snap a few pictures in the process, giggling to himself. Bakugou is not very convincing, holding a scowl the whole time, but Izuku supposes that's probably what he would look like in a real situation too.

When they're all burned out, they meet back up again in the food court, ordering Panda Express and Jamba Juice. At one point, Mina jumps up on the table and starts belting out an old Taylor Swift song, causing the entire food court to erupt in song like a musical. Izuku groans and buries his face in his hands, heavily embarrassed. You'd think he'd be used to his friend's shenanigans by now, but no, it's still just as mortifying every time. 

They find the Confused Children hanging out with the Dark Manly Speedy Bros in the parking lot, and all agree that today was a very productive day, and it is time to go home, eat chips, and watch Netflix. Thank God.

Chapter Text

Class 1-A are a class of many talents. You see, besides UA their reality TV show, they also have a YouTube channel, group Instagram account, group Snapchat account, group Twitter account, etc. which they maintain daily. It's a lot of work, but it's made easier by the fact that there's so many of them, so there's always someone to handle things.

The loyal followers of hence social media accounts have many speculations. Romantic speculations... It's caused quite a raucous in the past. They've declared "Ship Wars" in which they exclaim exactly why they think so and so is secretly dating so and so or should be dating so and so in all caps. Class 1-A find it all very amusing. Well, most of it. Sometimes it hits a little too close to home...

Let's take a look...

YouTube:

thumbnail: [ todoroki sitting on the ground in a dimly lit room, bowl of cold soba in hand, face grave ] 

title: my daddy issues...

channel : 1-A and Then Some (Or 1-ATS for short. Their followers call themselves Pluses, short for A Pluses.)

likes: 117K

dislikes : 1K

Their subscriber count is 42 million and climbing. Pretty impressive for a group of rowdy hormonal teenagers.

comments:

1ababe: Deku and Shouto are SO dating !!!

      flowergirl: What makes you say that?

           1ababe: Did you even SEE them in the vid? Deku made an appearance like ten times and it wasn't even a vid about him!!

 

tododeku: Highkey ship TodoDeku this vid is life

      miralinea: Sorry if I'm being stupid or something but everyone's talking about there being tododeku moments in the vid and I'm just??? lost??? so if you could maybe explain?

           tododeku : Of course! At 5:26 Izuku can be seen making coffee in the background, then turning and smiling at Shouto. At 9:23 he hands Shouto a cup of coffee. At 10:04 Todoroki says "Yeah, Izuku's really been my savior. He's just such a good person" and then there a few other moments as well. Hope that helped!

 

diehardplus: 70% of comments = Tododeku???, 20% of comments = poor shouto bb, 6% of comments = i wanna see eri, 4% of comments = okay but todo's outfit though

 

Instagram:

[picture of Deku and Ochako sharing an ice cream]

caption: Besties forever and always!! [peace sign emoji, ice cream emoji, smiling tongue out emoji]

comments:

avalee: Hmm, only "besties" huh?

      norahugo: Honestly don't really ship

           avalee: How?? They're obviously goals

                norahugo: Idk, I see him more with Bakugou

                       avalee: WHAT?!?!?!?!

 

blasty ✓: Wow Deku fuckin' asshole

      deku ✓: What?? Did I do something?

          blasty ✓: where the fuck are my photo creds huh?

             deku ✓: Ah right sorry! Let it be known that Kacchan took this photo :)

                 mikamae: Awww "Kacchan" that's cute

                        NorseGod: Why do I feel like Bakugou only did this so people would know he was there and Deku and Ochako weren't on a date lol

                                norahugo: @NorseGod omg you're probably right

 

Snapchat:

10:36 PM - RedRiot posted something to their story!

Story: [ Kirishima and Kaminari lying underneath the stars ]

Caption: Just bros and the stars

 

10:41 PM - Pikachu posted something to their story!

Story: [ Kirishima and Kaminari making funny faces with the baby filter on ]

Caption: we're such cute babies

 

11:06 PM - Deku posted something to their story!

Story: [ Izuku sipping from a strawberry milkshake inside a diner, a glimpse of red eyes next to him ]

Caption: Late night milkshakes are the best milkshakes!

 

12:02 PM - Blasty posted something to their story!

Story: [ Katsuki smirking, taking a picture with a passed out drooling Deku ]

Caption: Shitty nerd stayed up past his bedtime

 

Tumblr (fan Tumblrs, not Class 1-A):

strongestpluser:  Okay but like BakuDeku or TodoDeku and reasons why

     delta: TodoDeku for obvious reasons. They're actually friends. Todoroki isn't a bully. They look adorable together. I can go on.

          bakudekuislife: BakuDeku cause they're fucking awesome and anyone who insults either of my bbs can DIE!!!!

                    strongestpluser: Yep, so I think it's pretty easy to tell who supports who lol

 

There are many more ships, Asui and Ochako, Iida and Ochako, Kaminari and Sero... even a few weird ones like Mineta and Sato and Koda and Bakugou. But what all these fans don't know, is that actually, no one in Class 1-A is dating any of each other. There is a lot of pining going on, a lot of longing stares and baleful eyes, but actual action? Nope. Too cowardly for that.

What the fans also don't know is that sometimes the celebs read fanfiction about themselves and the classmate they want to be with... It's pathetic. They know. Believe me.

Chapter Text

"AHHHH!! Kacchan!"

"Wha—what?! Where are you, shitty Deku?"

Bakugou rushes forward, camera in hand. He, normally, wouldn't be this worried if Izuku screamed his name (or, at least, he wouldn't act like it), but seeing as they're in a supposedly haunted abandoned insane asylum, he figures showing a bit of worry is probably the only plausible course of action. That and he's too tired to keep up his explosive bad boy persona. It's nearly midnight, and contrary to popular belief, Bakugou is a stickler for a good sleep schedule, so he's not used to staying up this late.

He finds Izuku pressed up against a wall inside one of the many dark rooms, face pale as a, well, ghost. He approaches cautiously, hand twitching at his side, like he wants to reach out but is thinking better of it. "Deku..? What's going on? Are you fuckin' possessed or some stupid shit like that?"

Midoriya scrambles to Katsuki's side instantly, grabbing on to the sleeve of Bakugou's sweatshirt like it's a security blanket, or like he's afraid Katsuki will slip away if he doesn't. Bakugou doesn't object. "I—I'm fine, Kacchan. I just got scared. I heard a noise. It sounded like a baby crying. It was scary. Really scary."

Mina and Uraraka stick their heads through the door, wandering in slowly.

"Wow, Deku, nice to know the first person you call for help is Bakugou, not me," Uraraka teases.

Deku flushes. "Sorry. It's just instinct, I guess."

Katsuki puffs up his chest. "Course it is. I'm ten times stronger than anything that would ever try to hurt you, Deku."

"Ooh, you saying you're Izuku's protector?" Mina waggles her eyebrows. She looks absolutely ridiculous. Also weirdly hot, Ochako thinks. And then, shit. Because she'd thought she told herself to quit thinking about her friend that way. Oh, well. What can a girl do? Feelings are feelings. Unfortunately.

"Fuck off, Raccoon Eyes," Bakugou growls. 

"I would, but I'd rather not split off from the group." Mina shivers. "This is giving me major horror movie vibes."

"If this were a horror movie," Izuku says, "logically Ochako would probably get murdered first."

Uraraka swats at his arm. "Hey!"

Izuku waves his arms around apologetically. "I didn't mean it like that! But logically, that's what would happen. Not because of your strength or anything, that's just how movies work."

"What about Shinsou?" she asks. "Wouldn't he be too tired to properly run? Or Todoroki? Wouldn't he just openly welcome the murderer?"

Izuku shrugs sheepishly. "They'd probably be fan favorites. The writers wouldn't want to kill them off."

"Speaking of those little shits," Bakugou says. "Where are they?"

"Over here!" Todoroki calls. Izuku, Bakugou, Uraraka, and Mina follow the sound of his voice and find him and Shinsou inside what looks like a child's nursery. There's a crib and a bookshelf and a dusty rug and it's giving off major creepy vibes, though that's to be expected.

"Okay, all you extras get over here. We need to get a thumbnail for the video," Bakugou demands. Everyone squeezes into frame, some smiling nervously (Izuku, Ochako, Mina), some grinning like maniacs (Bakugou), and some looking awfully bored (Shinsou, Todoroki).

"Are we starting now?" Izuku asks.

"Yep."

Izuku's smile widens and brightens and with extra vigor, he says, "Hey, Pluses! It's me, Kacchan, Ochako, Shinsou, Todo-kun, and Mina! We've decided to do a bit of a ~spooky~ video today. If you can't tell by the title, we're spending 24 hours inside a haunted abandoned insane asylum." Izuku's smile falters. "Yay."

Katsuki grins. "This is gonna be fuckin' fantastic!"

Ochako laughs. "Yeah, and if you were here a few minutes ago you would have known that Bakugou promised to keep Deku safe."

"That's not what I said!" Bakugou snaps.

"Basically," Mina says.

"No, you fuckin—"

Izuku yanks on Katsuki's shirtsleeve, sighing. "Okay, Kacchan. I think that's enough. We're filming a video, remember? We have to actually do stuff."

"Well, what shit are we even supposed to do? Sit here? Wait for some evil spirits to do some fuckin' voodoo?"

Shouto shrugs. "Possibly."

He sits down, tugging Shinsou down with him, who follows dutifully. He looks back up when he realizes everyone's still there, just sort of watching them. "You four can go on. This place is huge. Go find something interesting. Izuku, Bakugou, you have a camera. Me and Hitoshi have a camera. Uraraka and Mina have a camera. Why don't you all go explore different areas? Cover more ground?"

"And what are you going to do?" Mina asks.

Shouto shrugs. "Sleep?"

Ochako shrugs. "Okay. Let's go, Mina." She smirks. "Let's let Izuku and Bakugou have fun by themselves."

"What?" Izuku squeaks.

Bakugou sets off mini-explosions in his hands. "Eh?! What's that supposed to mean?"

Mina cocks an eyebrow. "Wow. Dirty-minded much?"

They both color. "Sh-Shut up!"

Mina and Ochako smirk one more time (those devilish fiends) and leave, not looking the slightest bit perturbed by the fact that they're currently wandering around a place with long scratch marks on the walls and suspicious-looking red stains on the floor.

Bakugou and Izuku head back into the hallway, both muttering under their breath.

Shouto turns to Shinsou and guides his head down, soft violet hair pillowing on his shoulder. Shinsou doesn't fight it, sighing softly and shutting his eyes.

"Thanks," Shinsou murmurs. Shouto just nods.

In the hallway, Izuku finds himself clinging to Bakugou again. This time, though, he's not just grasping his sleeve. He's practically hugging his arm. He's both surprised and unsurprised by how muscular it is. He's warm, too. Being this close to him feels like lying on a fresh pile of laundry straight out of the dryer. He normally would not be this bold, but fear does strange things to a person.

Katsuki scowls down at Deku but doesn't yank his arm away. Izuku smiles softly and holds on a little tighter.

Katsuki holds the camera up, making sure both him and Deku are in frame. "Aight, pluses, we're gonna go find some freaky shit and not the fun kind. Let's go find some ghosts or shit like that."

Izuku rolls his eyes. "You need to use more enthusiasm, Kacchan."

Bakugou glares at him. "Fuck you, no, I don't."

They walk through the building, which is surprisingly large. Izuku holds his breath the whole time. Once Katsuki realizes what he's doing, he starts clomping around loudly, making loud noises and grinning. Deku whines and presses his face into Bakugou's shoulder. Katsuki blushes and hates himself for it. Oh, the pains of unrequited (haha not really) love.

"Okay, so right now we've just entered what looks like a bedroom?" Izuku narrates. "There's a bed here, and a dresser. Oh, and—oh my God."

"What?" Bakugou barks.

"Kacchan," Izuku whimpers, pressing into Katsuki's side instinctively. Bakugou, also instinctively, untangles his arm from Izuku's death grip and simply wraps it around him instead, tugging him back into his chest.

"What is it, Deku?"

"Ochako and—and Mina and Shinsou and Shouto they haven't... they haven't come in here. So why"—Izuku swallows—"why are there footprints in here? Fresh ones?"

Katsuki looks down at the floor and curses. "It's—It's probably another person's footsteps. Maybe someone stayed here last night or... or—"

"The people who own this place said no one's been inside for 50 years. And these look like they came from, like, really recently."

"Yeah, well—" Bakugou immediately shuts up when more footprints start to form. They appear rapidly, sending plumes of dust up into the air with every footfall. No one's there, but the footprints... holy shit.

Izuku would scream, but the lump in his throat is so big he doesn't think it's physically possible.

Katsuki slowly starts backing out of the room, looking positively ~spooked~. Protective instincts kicking in, he pulls Izuku further into his chest in a sort of hug, other hand pressing his face into his chest. His hand trembles in Deku's hair. Despite his fear, he makes sure the camera's still recording. He, ever so slowly, shuts the door.

When Katsuki finally starts to breathe normally again after they've just been standing there for a solid minute, he notices how badly Izuku's shaking. Izuku looks up, eyes wide and brimming with fearful tears. He hiccups and it's too adorable for Katsuki to handle. Fuck my life, he thinks, for the 756th time this day. "Don't cry, shitnerd. It's okay. We're fuckin' fine."

Deku shakes his head quickly, trying to get rid of the tears and quietly says, "We don't have to stay here overnight anymore, right? I think that's enough content. And I think I'm either going to have a heart attack or get possessed or both if I have to stay here any longer. The only person who's allowed to make my heart beat this fast is Sasuke Uchiha."

Bakugou snorts. "Nah, we don't have to stay, Deku. We do have to get the rest of the dumbasses, though."

Izuku lets out a shaky sigh of relief and grins. As they're walking back, he narrates what just happened to the camera, chattering away nervously.

When they enter the room they were in before, they see Shinsou sleeping on Shouto's shoulder, and Mina and Ochako both spread out like starfish on the ground, also asleep. Todoroki simply nods once they enter the room and gently picks Shinsou up in his arms without waking him. Izuku scoops up Mina, and Bakugou, with a scowl, does the same with Uraraka.

When they finally leave the asylum, Izuku and Katsuki relax. Bakugou hoots and punches the air, grinning wildly.

"Kacchan!" Deku hisses. "We're not far enough away from the ghosts!"

"Fuck the ghosts. They can die."

Izuku and Todoroki look at him blankly. He blushes and glares at the floor before picking up the camera and gruffly saying, "Aight, Pluses. This video is over, thank fucking God. That was fuckin' terrifying in there so don't be a dumbass and try anything stupid like that alone. Peace out."

 


 

 

Comments:

noralee:  yessss major bkdk vibes

     shintoshi: okay but what about my boys shinsou and todo

          noralee: yes that too :)

                northstar: ew quit trying to force things that don't even exist onto them

 

dekusgf:  too bad Ochako and Mina forgot to record themselves :( but everything else was great!

 

pumpkinpie:  oh god that was FREAKY!! Do you think it was real???

       avalora: probably. 1-A aren't really the type to lie about stuff.

 

mikamika:  ASFGHSKDJH

Chapter Text

The first interview they ever did (Bakugou, Izuku, Todoroki):

Amy: Hello, I'm Amy. I'm the one who's going to be interviewing you three today. So, are you excited?

Katsuki: Fuck no. I'm only doing this 'cause apparently I have to. Fuckin' shitty Aizawa.

Amy: Aizawa?

Izuku: U-Um, our manager? Well, uh, one of them. We also have All Might and Present Mic? They, um, they also give us lessons while we're on the road and doing UA stuff.

Shouto: Izuku, you are sweating profusely. Do you have endocarditis? Excessive sweating is a symptom of—

Izuku (waving his arms around frantically): No! No, I'm fine! Just... um, just a little nervous is all.

Amy: Aww, I get it. First interview jitters?

Izuku: Y-Yep! Something like that.

Katsuki: Nah, he's just a loser.

Shouto: (reaches over and whacks Bakugou over the head)

Katsuki: Eh?! You wanna go? You wanna fucking go?!

Shouto: Go where?

Izuku (turning to Amy): I'm so sorry! They're, well, mainly Kacchan, isn't usually—well... he is. But—

Amy (grinning): No, this is great.

 

The second interview they ever did (Kirishima, Kaminari):

Max: Hey, I'm Max! The interviewer, if it's not blatantly obvious.

Kirishima and Kaminari (in sync): Hey bro!

Then: Broooooo we're like connected!

Max: Okay, so I've been instructed to make these questions extra weird, so... what would you do if you were given an elephant and you couldn't give it away or sell it?

Kirishima: Bro, I wouldn't even think about giving it away or selling it in the first place!

Kaminari: Yeah, of course not! I would feed it grapes and have it watch Brooklyn 99 with me. 

Kirishima: Man, that show slaps. You remember that Backstreet Boys scene?

Kaminari: Ooh yeah! You are my fire...

Kirishima: The one desire...

Kaminari: Believe when I say...

Kirishima & Kaminari: I WANT IT THAT WAYYYYY

Max: Wow. That was... actually kinda good. Next question? Yeah, um, what kind of tree would you be? If you were a tree, I mean.

Kirishima: Man, birch for life.

Kaminari: Dude, are you kidding me? Redwoods are where it's at! Those things are like freakin' giraffes bro!

Kirishima: Oh, shoot, yeah! And what about aloe vera trees? That stuff feels so good.

Max: Aloe vera actually comes from a shrub. Not a tree.

Kaminari: My life is a lie. Actually, my life became a lie last week because guess what I freaking learned?

Kirishima & Max: What?

Kaminari: Pineapples grow out of the fucking ground.

Kirishima: Dude, what?!

Kaminari (nodding enthusiastically): I know, bro! That's what I said!

Max: Where did you think they grew from?

Kirishima: I don't know! A tree? Okay, whatever. Let's move on. I feel stupid.

Kaminari: Haha, story of my life. 

Max: All right, pretty common question. If you were stranded on a desert island and had all the necessary things to survive with you (water, food, etc.) what one thing would you bring with you?

Kaminari: Could I bring Eiji?

Kirishima (eyes fucking glowing): Aw, I freaking love you, bro.

Kaminari: Love you too, bro.

Max: Though that's very touching, unfortunately, the objects have to be, well, objects.

Kirishima: My Nintendo.

Kaminari: Same.

Max: All right, there were supposed to be more questions, but it seems we don't have time for that. So last question: are you both dating?

Kirishima (spluttering like he's just recovering from being violently shoved underwater): Well that is a very personal question! I—but, um, no. Yeah... um, no we are not. Haha. Um—

Kaminari (awkwardly laughing): Yep, just... just bros. Best bros. Two bros, chillin' in a hot tub, five feet apart 'cause we're not gay.

Max: Um. All right.

 

The third interview they've ever done (Ochako, Iida, Tsuyu):

Annalie: My name is Annalie. I will be your interviewer this evening. Let's begin.

Ochako (pumping her fist): Yeah!

Iida: Please be careful, Ochako. You may strain your shoulder if you continue doing that as often as you have been.

Tsuyu (nudging Iida): Oh, kero, loosen up, Tenya.

Iida (nose turned up in the air): I'm extremely 'loosened up.'

Annalie: Very well. When did you first realize you wanted to be famous?

Ochako: I don't think it was ever really a conscious decision. I've always thought it would be cool to have a lot of fans. It's like having a million friends!

Tsuyu: Yes, I agree with Ochako. Kero. I've always wanted to be a chef, actually, too. If you don't mind the shameless promo, I'm going to be releasing a cooking show with various members of Class 1-A as guests sometime next year!

Iida: I suppose I've simply always wanted to follow in the foosteps of my older brother.

Annalie: Ah, yes, the movie star. How did you—all of Class 1-A—make your big break?

Ochako: We actually haven't been famous that long. Maybe three years? We were all in the same class the first year of high school, where we met Aizawa and All Might and Present Mic, and decided to start making YouTube videos together. We started slowly gaining followers. Not too many. I think we had, maybe, 10,000? Somewhere around there. Then, one day, one of our videos went viral. I think it was this short video of us all dancing to Love Story by Taylor Swift. Then we went from 10K to 10M almost overnight. It was amazing.

Iida: It was only a year or so after that that we started getting asked about TV shows and being contacted by managers. We, of course, decided instead to ask our senseis to be our managers, and they agreed.

Tsuyu: It was truly amazing. 

Annalie: I imagine so.

 

Some random interview (Tokoyami):

Kuroko: Hi, I'm Kuro—

Tokoyami: You radiate *shudder* good vibes.

Kuroko: Um, what?

Tokoyami: I'm sorry. I fear I'll have to call off this interview. Your sunshine is tainting my dark soul. I need to recharge by brooding in the shadows.

 

Interview from 3 years ago (Bakugou):

Norah: So, Bakugou, what are your thoughts on Midoriya?

Katsuki: Eh? Deku? That shitty nerd?

Norah: I... guess.

Katsuki: He's a fuckin' loser. Follows me around everywhere like a stray dog. Probably 'cause no one else can stand to be near him.

Norah: So what would you say your relationship is to him?

Katsuki: He's just some shitty fuckin' extra who thinks he's good enough to hang out with me.

 

Interview from 2 weeks ago (Bakugou):

Norah: Three years ago, I asked you this same question. I'm going to ask you again. What are your thoughts on Midoriya Izuku?

Katsuki: Eh. Deku's... okay. He's a shitty nerd, but, he's pretty fuckin' smart. Always fuckin' muttering, but it's only 'cause his thoughts are too big for his brain. He... shit this is so fucking stupid, makes me a... better... person. 

Norah: So what would you say your relationship is to him?

Katsuki (shrugs): I don't fucking know. A friend. Family. Whatever the fuck. He's just always there. And so am I. Always.

Norah: Wow—

Katsuki (blushing and looking around): You know what? Fuck this. Could I get some fuckin' Flamin' Hot Cheetos? I'm done with this sentimental bullshit.

 

Interview from 3 years ago (Izuku):

Norah: Izuku, what do you think of your childhood friend Bakugou?

Izuku (face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree): Oh, Kacchan? He's amazing! The best! I hope I can catch up to him someday!

Norah: So what would you say your relationship is to him?

Izuku (smile falters): Um, I—I'm not really sure? I don't know what he would say, and friendship's kinda a two-way street, right? So... um, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Friends, um, hopefully?

 

Interview from 2 weeks ago (Izuku):

Norah: Three years ago, I asked you this same question. I'm going to ask you again. What are your thoughts on Bakugou Katsuki?

Izuku (face, again, lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree): Oh, Kacchan? He's amazing! The best! I love walking beside him!

Norah: So what would you say your relationship is to him?

Izuku (grinning): He's one of my best friends! Family, really. I'll stay by his side. Always.

 

Always.

 

 

Chapter Text

Class 1-A are going grocery shopping. Usually, only Iida goes, sometimes with Izuku or Ochako or Tsuyu. Occasionally even Bakugou or Sato go because they need to find their own ingredients. Or Denki and Eijirou at midnight because they want to go get Lucky Charms. But today, the show needed content, so everyone's going. Yay.

"Are we splitting off into groups like at the mall?" Sero asks.

Iida sighs. "I don't think we need to do that. The grocery store isn't that big. We'll just get what we need to get and get out of there."

Ochako nibbles on her hair. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Our class is a little, erm, especially right now..."

Izuku's head snaps up. "Denki and Eiji are on a sugar rush. Tsuyu, Sato, Koda, Aoyama, Hagakure, and Shoji are all sick... and Kacchan's very Kacchan right now."

Iida looks up sharply. "Six of our classmates are ill and I wasn't informed?"

"They're being taken care of, Iida-kun."

Iida hmphs. "All right. Well, if six of our classmates aren't going that should make it easier to babysit Kaminari, Kirishima, and Bakugou."

Izuku cocks his head. "Babysit?"

Ochako laughs. "What? Did you expect us to just let them run rampant through the grocery store?"

Iida nods. "Izuku, you will watch Bakugou, obviously. The rest of our class will babysit Kaminari and Kirishima and whoever else decides to stir up trouble."

"Why am I watching Kacchan?" Izuku asks.

Ochako gives him a look. He sighs and nods.

 


 

When they arrive at the grocery store, everyone is immediately evacuated per security's request.

Ochako frowns. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

Greg the Cameraman frowns. "They're just doing their jobs."

"Yeah, I guess..."

Inside the grocery store, they're playing outdated pop music and showcasing Craisin samples. Denki and Eijirou grab twenty. Iida and Ochako grab them by their shirt collars and drag them away.

Izuku turns nervously to Bakugou, tugging at his sleeves. "Um, what are you looking for? I'm pretty sure the rest of the class are getting the usual grocery stuff, but you usually like getting your own stuff, right?"

Katsuki nods gruffly, trying to tone down his resting bitch face so Izuku will stop looking so goddamn scared of him.

"Okay... so, um, I'll just follow you."

Bakugou rolls his eyes and grabs Deku's sleeve, tugging him along. Deku blushes and complies, tripping over his feet.

They pick up seventeen bottles of hot sauce, some Flamin' Hot Cheetos which Bakugou complains "aren't even fuckin' spicy" but still buys 32 bags of, a liter of apple juice, and some watermelon gummies.

The entire time they've been walking, his hand has been slowly drifting farther and farther down. He and Izuku aren't exactly holding hands, but the pad of his thumb is ever so slightly grazing Izuku's palm, and it's igniting all the nerves in his body. From the look on Izuku's face, it's doing the same to him.

When they reach the checkout lane, their faces are both as red as the bottles of hot sauce in their cart. The cashier is too flustered to notice. 

"At least he hasn't blown anything up," Tsuyu whispers.

Izuku's finger almost curls around his and Katsuki explodes the cash register.

"I stand corrected."


 

Class 1-A's General Grocery List:

Salt (not the table kind, the cooking kind)

Soda (This is completely unnecessary! - Iida)

Takis

Hair Spray (This isn't even food - Ochako ... Wait, it's not?? - Denki)

Apples

Watermelon

Mango (dried and fresh)

Milk

Kroger Wheat Flakes (Very nutritious! - Iida)

Lucky Charms (I wanna snuggle the leprechaun - Kirishima)

Dried Flies

Kraft Mac n' Cheese

Whole Wheat Bread

Oatmeal

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

Gecko

 

Chapter Text

Katsuki has nightmares. Izuku knows this.

It's not that he can hear Bakugou screaming. (He doesn't scream. He holds it in, lets the noise die in his throat.) Or that Bakugou approaches him. (He never does. It's always Izuku who approaches first. Bakugou breathes a little easier whenever he sees those familiar green eyes. He hates himself for it.) It's that he just knows. Whenever Katsuki's hurting, he can feel it, deep in his bones, a fierce ache in his chest, that empty pit in his stomach.

When Izuku feels it, he sighs and turns to look at his alarm clock. It's 1:06 AM. He sits up, rubbing his eyes blearily and throwing on an oversized UA sweatshirt.

He hurries to Bakugou's room, walking as quietly as he can so he doesn't wake anyone up. When he reaches the room, he considers knocking but knows that if Katsuki's having a nightmare, he won't respond. He opens the door and shuts it gently behind him.

Like he suspected, Bakugou's having a nightmare. He's not thrashing—he doesn't do that—or screaming or gasping for air or any of that. The only telltale signs are the way his hands are fisted in the sheets and the way his face is all screwed up.

Deku sits on the edge of his bed, reaching over and gently smoothing some hair away from his face, pads of his fingers softly brushing the tips of Bakugou's pale eyelashes. Bakugou stirs slightly, but the furrow in his brow doesn't smooth out. Izuku sighs and shakes his shoulder, and when that doesn't work he knows it must be a bad one. It usually doesn't take that much to wake him up.

He takes Bakugou by both shoulders and jostles him and finally—finally—wakes him. His eyes snap open, wild and rampant and crazed and he makes this low sort of whining noise that makes Deku's heart hurt. His hands won't stop shaking and his skin gleams slick with sweat. His eyes catch on Izuku and he gives him this desperate pleading sort of look. Izuku's heart squeezes and he leans over and ever so gently pulls Katsuki into his arms, who melts into him like it's the one thing he's been waiting for. (It's the one thing he's been waiting for.)

Katsuki's face is pressed into Izuku's neck, hot tears dripping down his collarbone with every shaky, muffled sob he tries to choke back but can't. Izuku rubs soft circles into his back and cards a gentle hand through his hair.

"Kacchan," he whispers, breath feather-light against Katsuki's ear. "I'm here. You're safe. It's okay. I'm right here." Katsuki's hold on him tightens. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Katsuki croaks.

"Of course."

They sit in melancholy silence for another minute before Izuku says, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I—I don't know." Bakugou's voice cracks in the most heartbreaking way possible. Izuku squeezes his hand, tracing soft shapes onto his palm. "It was just—oh god, Deku, it was so bad. I can't—I just"—Katsuki swallows, shoulders shaking—"it was really scary. I was so so scared and I couldn't—shit, I couldn't fucking do anything. And..." Bakugou's voice drops to a low, pained whisper. "And I didn't even know if I wanted to do anything because—because maybe I deserved it."

Izuku's breath catches in his throat—not from surprise, because though most would be surprised that confident arrogant Bakugou would think something like that, he knew better, but more like anger... and sadness. A lot of sadness. A deep, blue feeling that makes him want to never let go of the shattered, shaking boy in his arms. "I don't know what happened in your dream, but whatever it was, you didn't deserve it. I promise. You may think you're a bad person, Kacchan, but you're not." Izuku's throat clogs up with tears. "You're not."

"Yeah, but you have to say that, 'cause you're Deku and you—you always say shit like that." Despite his denial, Izuku can see how much Katsuki wants to believe him, how badly he longs to be seen the way Izuku sees him.

"I say 'shit like that' because I mean it, Kacchan." He cups Bakugou's face in his hands. (It's warm. His breath smells like cinnamon and hot sauce.) "You're amazing. The best. I love walking beside you."

"That's what you said in the interview." Katsuki's voice is watery, but he looks almost like he's smiling.

"Yeah," Izuku says softly, fondly. "You watched that?"

"I watch all the videos you're in," Katsuki whispers. "I rewatch that video every night before I go to sleep."

"Why?"

"It makes me feel safer and..."

"Loved?"

Katsuki looks away, squeezing Izuku's hand tighter. "Yeah. That."

"You know, you don't need a video for that, Kacchan. I'm right here. I'll always be here to tell you how amazing you are, that you're the best, that when I'm walking beside you it feels more like I'm flying. I'll tell you myself every night before bed if it makes you feel better."

Katsuki swallows again. His voice is thick and heavy when he speaks. "Sometimes, when I'm angry... Not the kind of angry where I blow something up or yell, the real kind of anger where I want to make someone hurt as... as badly as I am, I just look at you. You're usually talking to Round-Face or Glasses or Half and Half and—and you're smiling and laughing and then sometimes you'll look at me and smile and it calms me down. I don't know how or why, but it does. Sometimes, when it's really bad. I ask you to spar with me. Not because I want to fight with you, but because I need to touch you—to feel you, and that's the only way I can."

"That's not the only way, Kacchan. You could always just, I dunno, hug me."

"You would be okay with that?"

Izuku laughs quietly. "I would be more than okay with that."

"I—I don't know. What would people think? Everyone already thinks we hate each other—"

"That you hate me. Not that I hate you."

Bakugou shifts uncomfortably. "Right. It's just... it's different at night when it's just us two alone in my room and I'm not really thinking straight. Once the sun comes up and everyone can see us. I don't know."

"You're—You're embarrassed of me?" Deku's voice comes out smaller than he'd have liked. He tries to keep the hurt off his face, but it shows in the way his brows pull together and his chin dimples in that way it does before you're about to start crying.

"No!" Bakugou exclaims. "No. No. Fuck no. I'm just... scared about what people will think."

"About what?"

"I mean, you know... you and me."

"And what's that exactly, Kacchan?"

Katsuki is quiet for a while before he finally responds. "Friends?"

Izuku nods. He'd thought that he would be disappointed if Katsuki said that, but he's not. This is really a step in the right direction, and besides, what most people don't acknowledge is that, in most relationships, shouldn't you be friends? Isn't that a good thing?

Katsuki licks his lips, eyes skittering towards the floor nervously. "So when I'm... not doing good. I can—I can talk to you?"

"Kacchan," Izuku says. "Of course. But you don't have to be having problems to talk to me. You can talk to me whenever."

"Yeah. Okay."

"Okay," Deku affirms.

"Um, you should probably go. I'm going to regret this in the morning."

"Regret what?"

"Spilling my feelings. Making myself look like a total idiot."

"Do you regret it right now?"

Katsuki meets Izuku's eyes. "No. Not at all."

Chapter Text

I.

The first time it happened, Izuku nearly had a heart attack.

They were out on the field during lessons, one of the only times they weren't being monitored for UA or some other social thing. He was talking to Ochako, Iida, and Shouto about the new training exercise they'd learned when he'd felt a warm pair of arms envelop him from behind, a nose pressed to his neck.

He craned his head to look, even though he already knew who it was. He could tell by the smell of burnt sugar and smoke, and, let's face it, he's fantasized about Bakugou's arms around him many a time before.

"K-Kacchan?!" Izuku squeaks, blushing harder than the time he found a Playboy magazine on his mom's nightstand.

Katsuki makes a grunting noise in response, still refusing to lift his face from where it's pressed into Izuku's neck. Izuku can tell he's blushing by how warm his face is. His arms are heavy around his waist.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly, hand reaching up to slowly pet Katsuki's explosion of hair. It's still just as soft as when they were kids. Katsuki leans into the touch.

"'M fine," Bakugou mumbles, unconsciously nuzzling like a puppy into Izuku's neck. "Pikachu was just pissing me off."

Izuku leans back a little, almost resting on Katsuki. He lets the back of his head fall onto Katsuki's shoulder, humming softly in acknowledgment. "So your first thought was to come hug me?"

Katsuki pulls back suddenly, and just as Izuku predicted, he's blushing, almost pouting, really. "You said I could, shitnerd." He sounds... embarrassed, almost?

Izuku looks back at him with confusion, hands reaching out to pull Katsuki back towards him without him even realizing it. Bakugou looks down at the scarred hands reaching for his waist, face burning, but doesn't move away.

"When I had a nightmare last week," Katsuki says, palming the back of his neck. "You said—You said that I could just hug you. Whenever."

Izuku's face softens. "Of course, Kacchan. Don't worry about it."

Katsuki pulls Izuku back into a tentative hug again, blushing and grumbling.

"What the fuck," Shouto says. Iida and Ochako nod.

 

II.

The second time it happens, Izuku is still surprised, because old habits die hard apparently.

Bakugou, Izuku, Mina, Kirishima, and Kaminari are hanging out in Kirishima's room. Bakugou, Kirishima, and Kaminari are all playing Mario Kart; Izuku and Mina are playing Uno a few feet away from them while simultaneously talking about all the hottest gossip. 

Katsuki's raging at the screen—it glitched and put him behind Eijirou. It looks like he might be about to explode the remote controller in his hand. Or Kirishima. Probably both.

"Woah, bro. You need to calm down," Kaminari warns, which then prompts Kirishima to sing, "'Cause shade never made anybody less gay!"

"What the fuck," Bakugou seethes.

"It's from Taylor Swift," Kirishima says.

"That's not what I'm fucking talking about!" Katsuki screams, and just when everyone thinks he's gonna finally blow, he grabs Izuku and pulls him into his chest, closing his eyes, and slowly, ever so slowly, his breaths even out and slow. He calms down. What. The. Fuck.

He opens his eyes and through clenched teeth says, "Could we restart the game? The screen glitched and it set me behind a few seconds."

Kirishima and Kaminari gape at him, then at Izuku, who's clutched in Katsuki's arms like a fluffy green support animal, then back at Katsuki. "Did—Did you just explain yourself?!"

"Yes, fuckin' extras. Don't get used to it."

Izuku laughs softly and Katsuki pulls him closer. Mina takes pictures. Many, many pictures.

Kirishima and Kaminari restart the game, and Bakugou plays the rest of the time with Izuku half in his lap.

 

III.

The third time it happens, Izuku isn't quite as shocked.

They're in the classroom, talking freely before the bell rings to signify class starting. Izuku's talking to Tokoyami and Aoyama, who are arguing over whether shadows or glitter are better. (It's a tie.) Once Deku tires of hearing them bicker, he turns to Todoroki, who puts down his book (How to Deal with Having a "Troubled" Past) and talks to him about the weather, and then the homework, and then what love really is and whether he's truly ever experienced it (Todoroki, that is, Deku sits there stammering).

A few minutes before the bell rings, a blond red-eyed firecracker storms into the room, dark circles under his eyes. Before anyone can even process that Katsuki's just walked in, he makes a beeline straight for Izuku. Before he knows it, Izuku has a warm, grumpy Katsuki in his arms, who's being surprisingly gentle right now. He blushes and slowly puts his arms around Bakugou's shoulders. The entire class turns to gape. Aizawa walks in and blinks.

"Okay, Kacchan?" Izuku whispers. He feels Katsuki nod and relaxes slightly.

"Jus' fuckin' tired."

"How come?" Izuku asks, but he knows how come.

"Nightmare," Bakugou whispers, arms tightening around Izuku. "You didn't come to my room."

Deku frowns, gnawing on his lip. "Shoot, I usually know when that happens. I'm sorry, Kacchan."

Katsuki just shrugs, but he's trembling a little.

"Was it bad?" Izuku asks softly, reaching one hand up and lightly petting Bakugou's hair. He forces himself not to look at the reactions of all of his classmates. (Their jaws are all on the floor. Very unsanitary.)

Bakugou swallows and shrugs again.

"Better now," he murmurs before pulling away and donning his signature scowl again.

Izuku takes his seat at his desk and spends the rest of the period with a stupid grin on his face.

 

IIII.

The fourth time it happens, Todoroki's going in for a hug. Not with Bakugou. Obviously. With Izuku. This, of course, makes said explodo boy very, very jealous. ("I'm not fuckin' jealous. I just think Half n' Half should rethink his fucking decisions about touchin' my Deku.")

Shouto doesn't usually do hugs, so when he moves in for one with Izuku after a particularly grueling training exercise, everyone notices. Especially Katsuki. Oh boy.

Katsuki doesn't usually do hugs either, except lately with Izuku, so imagine the surprise of the rest of their class when they find both of their least touchy boys wrestling over hugging Izuku, who's standing there petrified looking unsure whether to be worried or pleased.

Izuku is a sweet broccoli boi and therefore gets hugged by multiple people always (Ochako, Tsuyu, Mina, Eijiro, Denki, etc.) but something about Shouto just rubs Bakugou the wrong way. Maybe it's 'cause he's too pretty. What if Izuku likes Shouto? He'd rather not think about that.

Katsuki wins the fight, hugging a baffled Izuku. Shouto sulks in the corner.

 

V.

The fifth time it happens, they're alone in Katsuki's room. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)

When Bakugou invited Izuku over to watch old All Might reruns on his laptop, Izuku was completely shocked and completely delighted.

"Of course! I'd love to, Kacchan!" he'd said. Bakugou had merely grunted, blushing, and looked away.

This time wasn't really much of a hug. More of a cuddle. And, Katsuki thinks, they're both on his bed. And it's not the biggest bed. And Deku's small and soft and utterly huggable and just—just fuck off all right?!

 

+1

The sixth time, it's different. You see, they're on TV now. Live TV. And Katsuki is having a lil bit of a panic moment.

This is the first time Bakugou's had a solo interview, and though he would never admit it, he's nervous. Really nervous, actually. Usually, he has other people to bounce off. He can just sit there sulking and occasionally throw in a "Fuck off," but now it's all up to him, and he is not a people person.

The interview starts off with a few simple questions (What do you like doing in your spare time? What are your work hours like? What's your favorite Starbucks drink?), but then it takes a turn for the worse.

"So, Bakugou, what's your love life like? I feel like of all of your class, you are the least open about these sorts of things," the interviewer says, leaning forward expectantly.

Yeah, for a fucking reason, Katsuki thinks, but he knows Aizawa will kill him if he says that so instead he says, "I dunno. It's whatever," which is also not the best.

"Hm? Would you like to elaborate on that?"

Fuck no, lady. "Considering my job, there isn't much time for that sort of thing."

"Except if you were dating one of your co-stars."

At this point, Katsuki's really fucking done. Like really. Fucking. Done. Right about now is the time when he would usually go up and hug Izuku, but Izuku's off-camera and what will people think and maybe Izuku doesn't want him to and—and then his arms are full with Deku. On. Camera. Holy shit.

"Wha—What do you think you're doing shitty nerd?" Katsuki swallows but wraps his arms around Izuku, actions defying his words.

"You looked like you needed it," Izuku says. "I thought you were about to pee yourself. Or set something on fire."

"I wasn't about to piss myself." Bakugou scowls.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I've seen that look on your face before and—"

"Shut up, Deku!"

"Oh? What, do you want me to leave?" Deku takes a step back.

"Bitch, get back here!" Katsuki shrieks, grabbing Izuku and pulling him back into his chest.

The interviewer falls off her stool. "In all my years of interviewing, I am now officially shook."

Chapter Text

YouTube Video: "THE INTERVIEW" (in which Izuku hugs Katsuki on live TV)

Views: 72M

Likes: 21.6M

Dislikes: 987K

Comments:

greenboi It's finally happening

toasteroven:  I feel fulfilled

cityofpencils:  umm... why is this everything I've ever wanted?

nickelwink: bro what the fuck

avadunham:  is this bkdk I see?

nievela:  JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS if even that

maroon6:  what is this???

noki:  cute

levelsouth:  WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING I'M SCARED!!!

 

YouTube Video: "A compilation of Bakugou/Izuku hugs since 'THE INTERVIEW'"

Length: 2:37

Views: 63M

Likes: 15M

Dislikes: 1M

Comments:

bunnyboy: I thought it was a fluke the first time but now I'm just like... what

neverfear:  Have either of them even actually addressed what's happening?

     mikamika: nope but I'm waiting for it

          northstar: Someone went up to Bakugou and took a video asking him what his relationship is with Izuku and he just said "None of your fucking business"

salemmagic:  OMG when Bkg just blushed like so hard when Izuku smiled @ him

     greenbench: and then when he ruffled Deku's hair

          livvieia: and then when Izuku freaking leaned into the touch

              whatamood: ASDHFIOSDGHF

floatogirl:  OKAY but did anyone notice at 1:35 when Ochako whispered "I ship it" to Kirishima and he nodded??? Like holy shit???

     stickygum: UM WTF YOU'RE RIGHT?!?! THIS IS INSANE

lessa:  ...k but what abt tododeku

     fearfulmaniac: pfft it's shintodo all the way

          lessa: todo deserves better than that

              fearfulmaniac: you did NOT just insult shinsou

                   loandbehold: Ooh, things are heating up in the UA fandom

boomsplash:  What if this is a PR stunt?

     powellDude have you seen the looks on their faces? No way in hell

          morosedaysyeah and i doubt the producers even rly thought of that cause they've always profited a lot from bkdk's rivalry + have never really acknowledged the ppl who ship them


 

 

"DEKU!!"

"Kacchan, you don't need to yell, I'm in the kitchen," Izuku responds calmly, scrolling through his phone and chewing on apple slices.

Katsuki storms into the kitchen, face burning. He thrusts his phone in Izuku's face. "Look at this shit."

"I can't—"

"LOOK AT IT!!"

"Okay, okay!" Izuku takes the phone and looks at the screen. He cocks his head. "I don't get it? What?"

"People have made fucking blogs and Instagram accounts and Tumblrs about fuckin' BakuDeku!" Bakugou kicks the stool next to Izuku before angrily grabbing a bag of Fruit Snacks and exploding all the orange ones.

"Okay? They're fans, it's not that much of an issue, I don't think."

"Deku, do you know what BakuDeku is?"

"Yeah, of course!" Izuku says. "I think it's sweet."

"You think it's sweet that people want us to fuck?!" Katsuki accidentally explodes the entire bag of gummies.

"People want us to what?" Izuku squeaks. "I thought it was people who wanted us to be friends!"

Bakugou blinks. "You fucking idiot."

"Wha—How was I supposed to know?"

"Do you know what shipping is?"

Izuku nods. "Who doesn't? Like how I ship SasuNaru and Klance and SnowBaz."

"Right. Like that—wait, what? Okay, you know what, never-fucking-mind about that. My point is, people ship us. God fucking knows why."

Deku looks terrified. "Do people ship me with anyone else?"

"People ship you with fuckin' everyone Deku. Mainly me and Half n' Half though."

Izuku melts off the stool, dissolving into a mess on the floor. "People ship me with Shouto, too?"

"Yeah." Bakugou looks at Izuku, then away, and with a carefully casual voice asks, "Do you like him?"

"Who?"

"IcyHot, fuckin' obviously."

"Wha?! No! He's just my friend! That would be so weird."

Bakugou nods, trying not to let his satisfaction show on his face. "Yeah, okay, shitty nerd." Do you like me?

"What about you?" Izuku asks, also faking faux casualness.

"What?"

"Do you like him?"

"Who? Daddy Issues?"

"Yeah, or... you know, Kirishima," Deku mumbles.

"Shitty Hair? Fuck no! Ew! What the fuck is wrong with you, Deku?! That dick belongs to Pikachu. The two idiots deserve each other."

"Yeah, okay." Deku blushes. He jumps off the stool and, before he can think too far into it, wraps his arm around Katsuki's broad frame, who, in turn, blushes and starts stammering like he's forgotten how to speak. (He's forgotten how to speak.)

"For the record," Izuku says, "I don't mind being shipped with you."

"Yeah, well, better than some other fuckin' people, shitty Deku," Katsuki mumbles. Izuku grins.

 

LATER...

 

"So who else do people ship mainly?" Izuku asks. Him and Katsuki are both in his room looking over old All Might magazines.

"Eh, Pikachu and Hair-For-Brains. Pinky and Round Cheeks and Ears. IcyHot and Brainwasher. Arms and Emo Bird. There are other ones, but I don't really remember. Just Google it yourself, Deku. I'm not your personal fuckin' encyclopedia."

"Okay, Kacchan," Izuku hums before his face turns red and he begins to look constipated. "Also, remind me to send you a link. I think you'll find it... interesting. It's about, um, the people who ship us."

"Eh? What is it?"

Izuku's voice drops to a faint whisper. "...fanfiction."

Chapter Text

Katsuki has an addiction. A terrible, terrible addiction.

It all started a week ago when Deku sent him a link to some fanfiction. Some fanfiction about himself. Himself and Deku, that is. It was short and sweet and ughhhh. Katsuki hates it and loves it and he can't stop thinking about it. He pulls it up on his phone again.


 

The mornings are when Katsuki breathes. When he puts down his fists and lets his chest rise and fall in sync with the soft-worded boy beside him. The mornings are for cold hands wrapped around steaming mugs and surprise hugs from behind that really shouldn't be a surprise anymore. Mornings are for green hair and freckles and quiet laughter and Deku.

Katsuki's mind is almost always infected with poisonous thoughts telling him he doesn't deserve Deku, that all he does is hurt and one day he's going to hurt Deku. Shit, he already has. But in the mornings—that's when those thoughts clear from his mind and all that's left is the sweet scent of apple pie and laundry detergent.

Katsuki wakes earlier than usual this morning and finds his breath caught in his throat when he sees Izuku splayed out beside him like an angel in green. He reaches forward and glides the pad of his thumb across Deku's brow, down his cheek, over his lips. He traces his freckles like they're constellations—like they're the stars guiding him home. He sweeps aside an unruly green curl and Deku stirs, blinking his ever wide eyes open sleepily.

"Hn... Kacchan?" Deku's voice is small in the mornings, yet rougher, deeper, like a puppy pretending to be a lion.

Katsuki doesn't respond, simply leans forward and drops feather-light kisses across Deku's cheeks, forehead, neck. Since Katsuki's always as hot as a furnace, his warmth seeps into Deku's pores, warming him from the inside out until he's about ready to fall asleep again—enveloped in the comforting warmth that is Katsuki.

A small, dopey smile settles across Izuku's face as he sighs and snuggles closer, grasping the front of Katsuki's sweatshirt and burying his face in it—inhaling brown sugar and cinnamon. Katsuki's long, nimble fingers burrow into his thick mess of hair, carding through his dark curls gently. His hand stops to rest at the nape of Izuku's neck, thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth. His eyes long to slide closed again, but he doesn't want to look away from Deku. Not even for a second.

Even blinking is too much time lost when he could be marveling at the sweet, snuggly miracle that is Izuku.

A year ago, it would never have even occurred to Katsuki that something like this could really happen. That he could wake up next to Deku. That he could smell his lingering scent on his pillow even after he's left the bed. That he could tangle his fingers in his curls and tug him closer to his chest until they're pressed up against each other, warm and comfortable, eyes heavy from sleepiness. Yet here they are.

 


 

It goes on for a little longer, the fic. But it's not enough. Katsuki wants more. He's already reread this at least 80 times, and though the magic still hasn't quite worn off, it's fading.

Katsuki knocks on Deku's door. Izuku opens it after the second knock, tilting his head in confusion when he sees Bakugou. He opens the door wider and lets him in. "Kacchan? Is everything okay?"

Bakugou bursts into Izuku's room, simmering, and throws himself on his bed. "No, everything is not fuckin' okay!"

"O-Oh? Is there anything I can do...?" Izuku wrings his hands, looking extremely unsure. 

"Yeah, you could fucking undo sending me that link!" Bakugou yells.

Izuku frowns. "Oh. That. I didn't realize it would disgust you that much. I just thought it was funny, but—"

"No, I—shitty Deku. Is that all there is?"

"Um... what?"

"Is that the only one? About, you know..."

A sly grin makes its way across Izuku's face. "Kacchan, do you want to read more?"

"Shut the fuck up, shitty nerd! It's addicting." Bakugou blushes. "I just like reading about myself. 'Cause I'm fuckin' awesome... and... shit."

"Yeah, there's more."

"How much more?" Bakugou asks, biting back a grin.

Izuku pulls out his phone and says, "As of right now, 21,623 more."

"What?!" Bakugou isn't sure how he should feel about that. He is sure, however, that he feels ecstatic, whether he should feel that way or not. "How do I—How do I get to it?"

Izuku grabs Katsuki's phone and guesses his password first try.

Katsuki scowls. "How'd you know my fuckin' password?"

Izuku smiles and Bakugou notices how pink his cheeks are. "You haven't changed it since we were kids. It's my birthday. I mean, right? Or is it not? Oh God. It's not, isn't it—"

"Yes, it's your fuckin' birthday, idiot." Bakugou rolls his eyes. "It's not like I just have some random date as my passcode. And don't let your head get too big, I just haven't gotten around to changing it."

"Yeah, okay, Kacchan." Izuku grins. "Now, click on this link and it should take you to all of them. Have fun."

"Pfft, like lookin' at those is fucking fun, Deku."

"Mhm."


 

Later at night, in his room, Katsuki pulls out his phone again in bed, clicking on the link and selecting a fic.

Though Bakugou would never admit it (ever) he's jealous. Jealous of who, you might ask? Well, jealous of the stupid half n' half bastard clinging to his Deku's arm like a fucking leech. Ever since IcyHot and Deku have started dating—

"Yeah, nope, not reading that one," Katsuki mutters. He knows that him and Deku are going to eventually get together in the fic since it's tagged Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, but he's not a patient person and even thinking of Deku and Half n' Half dating makes him want to punch a wall. He chooses a different one that's tagged with Established Relationship.


It's almost Izuku's birthday, and Katsuki has no idea what to get him. The obvious choice would be some All Might memorabilia, but he can't think of anything Izuku doesn't have and he knows that, as Izuku's boyfriend, he should be a little more creative. On his birthday, Izuku had gifted him a tiny but fierce cat (Ms. Murder) and 50 bottles of hot sauce along with a sweet card that Katsuki still reads every night before bed when Izuku isn't looking. He wants to find something special—not be that shitty boyfriend who gets their partner a gift card.

Katsuki calls up Uraraka. She answers on the third ring.

"Bakugou?" She sounds exactly the same as when they were kids, though maybe a little more mature, a little less airy.

"Yeah, it's fuckin' me, Round Face."

"Excuse me, you—"

"I don't have the time for this, Floaty, I—I need some fuckin' advice. And fast."

"Are you telling me the great Bakugou Katsuki needs my help?"

"Fuck you, Round Cheeks. I'll ask someone else if you keep—"

"No, no, no. What is it?"

"It's almost Deku's birthday. And I have no idea what to fucking get him."

She's quiet for a few contemplative seconds before saying, "Hmm. Well, Deku's a sentimental person."

Katsuki snorts. "Yeah, fuckin' crybaby."

"Bakugou!"

"What? I'm allowed to say that 'cause I'm his boyfriend. If anyone else said it, I would beat their fuckin' asses."

"Okay, well, maybe give him something that holds sentiment—Ooh! I know! Make him a scrapbook!"

"A scrapbook?!"

"Yes! Trust me, it'll work. When we were younger, Deku always said that he thought it was adorable when couples did that."

"I'm not making some shitty scrapbook."

"Come on, it would make him happy..."

Katsuki narrows his eyes. "Fucking fine. Bye, Floaty. And... thanks, I guess."


 

Bakugou frowns. The Katsuki in this fic sounds way too similar to him. It's alarming. He wonders if he should make a scrapbook in real life for Izuku for his birthday. Or maybe that's something only couples do.


On the day of Deku's birthday, he makes him katsudon and pancakes shaped like All Might.

"Thanks, Kacchan!" Izuku grins. "These are amazing."

Katsuki scoffs. "Damn right they are. And... I got you something else, shitty nerd." Before he can change his mind, Katsuki throws the present at him, nearly whacking him in the face. Izuku catches it deftly. It's wrapped in pink-striped wrapping paper with a little green bow on top. 

Izuku beams, unwrapping the paper carefully, making sure not to rip it.

"Jesus fucking Christ, nerd! You can break it, you know."

Izuku just shrugs. When he spots the scrapbook, his smile intensifies. "Kacchan! You actually did something sentimental for me?"

"Shut up," Katsuki mumbles, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Izuku flips through it, starting at "When We Were Kids" and ending at "Now." Polaroid photos and little notes are scattered throughout the book—all in Katsuki's neat handwriting.

Deku jumps up, pulling Bakugou into a kiss and in a low, sultry voice—


"Yeah, okay, not going into that," Bakugou coughs, blushing and exiting the fic. He does not believe he is ready for that.

He reads many, many, many more throughout the night, but none of them impact him the way one does. It's only 2000 words long, but it's got Katsuki crying at 2:00 AM wishing Izuku was beside him.

It isn't even a sad fic (although he's gone through a lot of those), it's a cute fluffy one. Him and Deku are older, in their late twenties, with a little kid. It just details their morning but it's so sweet and pure and wholesome and it fills him with an aching sense of hope and longing that later turns into a lump of dread in his chest as he reminds himself that Izuku isn't his. And he probably never will be. (Spoiler alert: Katsuki's an oblivious idiot.)

Even though it's past midnight and he knows Izuku's probably asleep, it's that time of the night when nothing really feels real, so Katsuki pulls out his phone and calls Deku. He picks up on the sixth ring.

"Kacchan?" Deku sounds sleepy.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's okay... I went to bed early and—have you been crying? Because you sound like you've been crying."

"I've only said five words, Deku."

"Yeah." A pause, then, "Have you?"

Another pause, then, quietly, "...yeah."

"Why?"

"Hope is fucking useless."

"Yeah."

"Yeah? You're supposed to be positive."

"It's too late for positivity."

"Early."

"What?"

"It's too early. It's already the next day."

"Oh—right."

"Shit, I shouldn't have called you. Look, I'm just gonna hang up now. And, I dunno, sorry for—"

"No!" Izuku clears his throat nervously. "Um, don't—don't hang up."

"...why?"

"Because I like talking to you," Izuku says plainly. Katsuki blushes and pulls his blankets up further around him, resting his phone by his head on his pillow.

"Okay, well, shit, what do you wanna talk about?" Bakugou asks, voice heavy with exhaustion.

"Have you ready any more fanfics about us?"

"Uh..."

"So I'll take that as a yes?"

"Maybe. I don't fucking know. They make me sad."

"Why?"

"I can't talk to you about this, Deku," Katsuki whispers. "...sorry."

Bakugou can practically hear Deku nod through the phone. "Okay. You don't have to explain." Then, "What's your opinion on the up and coming celeb, Cherry Blossom?"

"Oh, do I have stuff to fuckin' say about her..." Bakugou launches into a long-winded speech about her, lulling Izuku into a steady sleep. He later falls asleep listening to Izuku breathe on the other end of the phone.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

"Hello, my name's Tsuyu, and welcome to the premier of my baking show, Cookies & Cream! Joining me today are my amazing friends Izuku, Ochako, Shouto, Bakugou, Mina, Shinsou, Kaminari, and Kirishima!" Tsuyu introduces. Seven of eight of the aforementioned friends wave at the camera. Bakugou just scowls, though that's to be expected.

"Since it's the first episode, we decided to do something special and instead of having normal people on to the show, we decided to have them be the first contestants," Tsuyu continues. "They are going to be split up into pairs and whichever team wins will split the cash prize."

"What?!" Bakugou snarls. "I don't wanna fuckin' work with anyone! I'm a lone fucking wolf—"

"You'll be working with Izuku, Bakugou."

"Oh. Okay."

Tsuyu rolls her eyes. "Moving on, kero, the competition will be split into three parts. One, chocolates. In the first round, you will be making something that has to do with chocolate. This round usually consists of something small that shouldn't be too difficult to make. Two, baking. This round consists of pies, cakes, cookies, all that stuff. Three, the surprise. This last round will be the hardest, but I don't want to explain much yet."

"Yes, Tsuyu!" Izuku, Ochako, Shouto, Mina, Shinsou, and Kirishima chorus.

"Fuckin' sure," Bakugo says.

Kaminari frowns. "Uh, no?"

"It's fine," Tsuyu assures him. "Kirishima will help you. You two are partners. Bakugo and Izuku are partners. Mina and Ochako are partners, and Shinsou and Todoroki are partners. Now, to your work stations, chefs!"

All four pairs rush to their mini kitchens. Tsuyu stands at the front of the large room on a podium. The theme for this episode sits concealed underneath a silver lid.

"The theme for tonight is..." She lets the suspense drag on for a few seconds before dramatically lifting the lid with a flourish. Underneath the lid are lots of hearts and a bouquet of roses. "Love!"

"What the fuck," Bakugou says. Because what the fuck.

"That's right, Bakugou!" Tsuyu grins. "I've decided to kick Cookies & Cream off with a bit of a tricky one. Now, some might say love is a pretty easy task to conquer, but that's quite untrue. You'll be trying to grasp the actual concept of love in your baking. And since love means so many different things to so many people, this will probably prove harder than you'd thought. Now, remember, the first round is chocolate, recipes are on the counter, and there are two hours on the clock. Your time starts... now!"

 

ROUND 1:

After that, it's just a flurry of limbs and screeches and flour and—"Kami! There's no flour in chocolate!"

"Wait, there's not?!" Denki screeches.

"No, bro!" Kirishima screeches back.

"Why are you telling me this?!"

"Because you just put flour in the chocolate!"

"No, I didn't! I'm just eating powdered sugar."

Kirishima stares at him. "Jesus Christ, Denki."

"What? It's good."

"So what are we making?" Ochako asks Mina from the other side of the room.

"Well, it has to be something about love... so, like, hearts?"

Uraraka sighs, and drops her chin into her hands. "Yeah... but I feel like that's too basic. We need to be more creative."

"How about... okay, what are some things you love?"

"Puppies, candy, my friends—"

"Great! So why don't we make a little chocolate puppy sculpture with candies on it that's standing on, like, a little slab thing that has a quote about friends on it?"

"Um, do you think that would work?"

"Sure."

"Okay, let's do it!"

"So, do you know how to sculpt things?"

"Nope."

"Me neither."

"...Great."

"What is love, Shinsou?" Todoroki asks, staring off contemplatively.

Shinsou blinks. "You're asking me?"

"Have you never been in love before?"

"How would I know?"

"I don't know."

"Me neither."

"We are going to fail this task," Shouto says.

"I don't have a single idea why Tsuyu thought it would be a good idea to pair both of us up on an assignment about love."

"Right? We're both antisocial hermits."

"Well, we have to think of something."

"We could make my father and then put a giant red X over it," Shouto suggests.

Hitoshi just stares at him. "You know, Shouto, sometimes you concern me."

Todoroki shrugs. "I concern myself all the time. Sometimes I think I'm extremely depressed and then other times I'm just hungry."

"Ha. Mood."

"So what're we gonna do?"

"Can we just make some random shapes and call it abstract?"

"Works for me."

"Kacchan! You can't put hot sauce in the chocolate!" Izuku screams from the fourth station, grabbing Katsuki's arm before he can dump a liter of Tapatio in the bowl.

"Why not?" Bakugou scowls.

"Because it's gonna taste bad!" 

"Not to me."

"Yeah, well, we're not making this for you, Kacchan, it has to be something Tsuyu will like."

"Uh, flies?"

"Bitch, I will die before I put fucking flies in our baby."

Izuku raises an eyebrow. "Our baby?"

Bakugou grabs the bowl. "Shut up, I'm attached."

"I can see that. What's the baby's name?"

"Uh, Spicy."

"Spicy? The baby's name is Spicy?" Izuku grabs the bowl from Bakugou. "We can't name our baby Spicy!"

"You guys are having a baby?!" Kaminari squawks. "And you didn't tell me?"

"WE WEREN'T READY TO TELL ANYONE!" Bakugo screams. "WE HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD OUR PARENTS YET!"

"KACCHAN, STOP SCREAMING, YOU'RE GONNA SCARE THE BABY!"

"YOU'RE SCREAMING, TOO!"

"I'M NOT READY TO BE A PARENT!"

"What is going on here?" Tsuyu asks, looking at both Katsuki and Izuku like they're especially crazy. (They're especially crazy.)

"Kacchan wants us to name our baby Spicy!"

"It's a good fucking name!"

"Quit cursing in front of our baby, Kacchan!"

"Baby? What baby?" Mina asks.

Izuku holds up the bowl of chocolate.

Kaminari gasps. "Your baby's so tiny it fits in there?"

Kirishima grimaces and pats him on the shoulder. "No, buddy. There's no baby."

"What?" Kaminari says, voice watery. "B-But I was so ready to be an uncle!"

"I know, I know." Kirishima pulls him into a hug, smoothing down his hair. "Someday, Denki."

"30 minutes on the clock!" Tsuyu announces. "Get back to baking, chefs."

"Kacchan, we need to figure out what we're making," Izuku says, suddenly serious.

"Okay, well, fuck, what do you love, Deku?"

"Oh, I know!" Izuku's eyes light up. "We should make the words UA in chocolate block letters and then decorate them with crystal candy hearts!"

Katsuki narrows his eyes. "Not very original, but fuck it, sure. We've still got two more rounds to prove ourselves anyway."

 

The teams get to baking and after their half-hour is up and the alarm screeches (and Kaminari and Kirishima mistake it for a fire alarm and start screaming), everyone's got something on their plate, albeit not everything looks the best, or even edible, really. It's okay. They tried.

Tsuyu stands at the podium again. "All right. The first dessert I'm going to try is from Kaminari and Kirishima. Please bring your plate up and explain to me what you made."

They set their plate down in front of Tsuyu. On it is a red clump that's supposedly chocolate.

They both grin as if this is the greatest masterpiece to ever have been created. "This was originally supposed to be a chocolate heart, like, you know, a normal-shaped one, but then it didn't really work out so now it's like a human heart, you know? And it signifies love because, like, I love my heart for keeping me alive!"

Tsuyu takes a bite and reacts the way the lady tasting kombucha for the first time reacted on TikTok. "Hm... well, the appearance is probably a four at most, but it actually tastes really good. So I'm going to give you guys an overall score of seven out of ten."

"Aw yeah, bro!" They both high-five and pump fists.

Bakugou scoffs.

"Next up, Ochako and Mina," Tsuyu declares.

Both girls bring their plate up to Tsuyu. The plate has a few chocolate balls stuck together and a circular slab on it, with a few peppermints and gumdrops sticking out of it.

"And what is this supposed to be?" Tsuyu asks.

"Tsu!" they whine. "You can't tell?"

"No, I really can't. Sorry."

"It's a dog! And the circle says 'Friends are the family we make for ourselves'!"

"Aww," Tsuyu says. "That's sweet. Too bad I have to eat it."

She takes a bite and nearly spits it out, making a face. "What did you guys put in this?"

Mina frowns. "Everything we were supposed to. Cacao beans, sugar, salt..."

"How much salt did you put in here?"

"Not that much," Ochako says. "Just 1/4 cup."

"You put 1/4 cup of salt in this?!"

"We wanted it to be a little more savory!"

"Oh, my God, you guys," Tsuyu laughs. "Well, I'm giving you a 5 on presentation, a 2 on taste, but a 7 on sentimentality. So, an overall score of... 7!"

"Looks like we're tied with Kiri and Kami," they sigh.

"Next! Shoto and Shinsou!" Tsuyu announces.

On their plate, there's only a small chocolate triangle, a small chocolate square, and a small chocolate circle.

"And what is this?" Tsuyu asks.

"It's abstract," Shinsou says by way of explanation. Shouto nods.

"Ooh, interesting. I like that. It lets you sort of decide what it means for yourself," Tsuyu says appraisingly. The other six contestants scowl.

Tsuyu tastes it, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. "Not bad. Eight for presentation. It's very neat and nice to look at and you left it open to perception, which is nice. Six for taste. It's not bad, but it's a bit bland. And an overall score of... nine out of ten."

"What?!" Mina and Ochako squawk.

"It's abstract," Denki says, shaking his head solemnly. "You can't beat that."

"You're telling me these fuckers made some fucking shapes and they're getting a nine?!" Bakugou lunges forward, looking like he's about to attack someone, but is promptly stopped by Izuku grabbing him from behind. The feeling of Izuku's arms around his waist makes his neck burn red, and he's quickly distracted from his anger.

"Now, finally, Izuku and Bakugou!"

On their plate is a neat cut-out of the letters "UA", and pink crystal hearts scattered across the plate.

"Oh wow, this is actually pretty nice," Tsuyu says.

"Eh?! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It was a compliment, Bakugou, don't worry."

"Yeah, it better have been."

Tsuyu takes a bite and says, "Hm. Nine out of ten on taste. Nine out of ten on presentation. So an overall score of ten!"

"FUCK YES!" Bakugou screams. 

Kirishima slaps a hand on his shoulder. "Good job, but, you know, inside voice."

"FUCK INSIDE VOICES!"

Everyone winces.

"Time for round two, everyone! Remember, it's baking!" Tsuyu announces, grinning.

"What?" Uraraka whines. "We don't even get a break?"

"There are no breaks on the path to victory!"

"Ughhhh, I hate victory. I just want to watch Netflix and eat ice cream."

"Too bad! You have two hours on the clock, and your time starts... now!"

 

ROUND 2:

Kiri and Kami:

Kirishima. "So what're we making bro?" 

Kaminari. "Uh, I mean, you know I love cheesecake."

"Heck yeah, bro! Let's do it!"

"Cheesecake for the win!"

 

Ochako and Mina:

"CUPCAKES!!!!!"

 

Shouto and Hitoshi:

Shouto. "We should make a tiny little vanilla circle cake."

Hitoshi. "And call it abstract?"

"YES."

 

Katsuki and Izuku:

Katsuki. "You remember that caramel apple pie your mom always used to make..."

Izuku. "The one you always said you hated?"

"Well, it was fucking fantastic. We should make that. Do you have the recipe?"

"I think it's on my phone somewhere... Wait, Kacchan, you liked it?"

"Shut the fuck up. Just find the recipe."

 

2 HOURS LATER

 

Tsuyu: "Kirishima, Kaminari, come on up!"

On the plate: Another blob, this time flavored cheesecake

Explanation: "It's cheesecake, bro, what is there to explain? It's just magic!"

Rating: "Well, there's a two on presentation, a seven on taste, and an A for effort, so an overall rating of 7.5/10."

 

Tsuyu: "Ochako, Mina, your turn!"

On the plate: Red velvet cupcakes with heart sprinkles!

Explanation: "I mean, red velvet 'cause, like, love and stuff, and then hearts, which is pretty self-explanatory. Also, cupcakes!"

Rating: "Seven on presentation, you didn't mess much up, but it was pretty basic so I would be disappointed if you did. An eight on taste because those were some pretty good cupcakes, a ten for cuteness, so an overall rating of 9.5!"

 

Tsuyu: "Shouto, Hitoshi, let's see what you made!"

On the plate: A small two-inch tall and wide circle cake with a white glaze.

Explanation: "It's abstract."

Rating: "A ten!" (Bakugou: What the actual fuck?!)

 

Tsuyu: "Bakugou, don't blow up the sugar! It's your and Izuku's turn."

On the plate: A steaming slice of oozing caramel apple pie.

Explanation: "Well, um, my mom used to make this for me and Kacchan when we were younger and it just reminds us—or at least me, of home."

Rating: "Oh, my God, this is, kero, amazing! Ten!" (Bakugou: Fuck yes! Izuku: Kacchan, language!)

 

Tsuyu: "Now, who's ready for the third round? No one? Okay! This round will be a little different. Everyone will be working separately, but you'll still be graded in pairs. So, I'll use Kiri and Kami as an example. They each have to make a separate dessert by themselves, but I'll be grading them on the overall score of both their desserts combined. This dessert can be anything you want, it just has to be what loves means specifically to you. Got it? Okay, good! You have three hours on the clock, and your time starts... now!"

 

ROUND THREE:

Kaminari: "So I'm making a bro cake because I love Kiri. Also because it's the only thing I know how to make. But mainly 'cause I love Kiri."

 

Kirishima: "I'm making a bro cake! It's basically this thing me and Kami do where when we're hungry at midnight, which is, like, all the time, we make mug cakes but we put all this stuff in them like chocolate sauce and M&M's and marshmallows and it's so manly, bro!"

Those nights, when Denki and Eijiro are sitting at the kitchen counter eating cake out of a mug with a spoon at midnight, mean everything to them. Most people see them as stupid. Airheads. Just these goofy dorks who are funny and that's it. And yes, they're funny, but they're not just funny. Sometimes it feels like each other are the only ones that realize that. While they eat their bro cakes, they talk. Sometimes they'll talk about conspiracy theories and shower thoughts. Other times they'll talk about how overwhelming life is, and how sometimes it's hard pretending they're always happy.

The point is, bro cakes mean love to them because the bro cakes signify their friendship. (And hopefully more than friendship.)

 

Ochako: "Okay. Um. Okay. Okay. I think I'm going to make... a lemon tart! Because I'm, uh, sweet, and opposites attract?"

Okay, so maybe Ochako can't think of anything creative right now. Sue her.

 

Mina: "I'm making a pomegranate drink!"

Lately, Mina's gotten really into a Webtoon called Lore Olympus and has started shipping Persephone and Hades like mad. In the myth, Persephone eats pomegranate seeds and has to stay in the Underworld with Hades. In the Webtoon, the story is warped a little to be less... all-around disastrous, so instead of the pomegranate seeds forcing Persephone to live with Hades, Mina's decided to have the pomegranate seeds signify love. She's also adding a little vanilla and a little chili, both known to increase romantic... pheromones or whatever.

 

Shouto: "I'll be making a fondant cake of my dad with the word loser tattoed on his forehead because I love to hate my dad."

Shouto has daddy issues, everyone knows this, and, everyone also knows that he loves making deadpan jokes about it. What they don't know, however, is that the jokes are a coping mechanism for the fact that having a dad like Endeavor actually really fucking sucks. But everyone knows Shouto doesn't have real emotions. Sometimes he's mildly ruffled, but it's never in a way that means something might have hurt his feelings. So he continues to make jokes about his dad because it's better than the alternative: actually talking about his feelings.

Well, this got depressing fast. Haha. Moving on.

 

Shinsou: "Mine's a bit of a surprise."

 

Izuku: "I'm baking chocolate chip All Might cookies!"

Everyone knows All Might's basically a dad to Izuku. He's his idol. There's not much to explain there.

 

Katsuki: "Fuck off. I'm not telling you."

How mysterious.

 

THREE HOURS LATER

 

Tsuyu: "Who's excited to see the finished products of our final round? I know I am! First up, our favorite lightning boy, Denki!"

On the plate: A bro mug cake.

Explanation: "This is me and Eiji's thing, y'know? How could I not choose something that has to do with my favorite person?" (Kirishima (near tears): Bro.)

Rating: "Okay, like, four for presentation, 'cause this looks all over the place. Surprisingly, a nine for taste. And a ten for the adorable sentimentality! I'll give the overall scores at the end, by the way."

 

Tsuyu: "Second, Eijiro!"

On the plate: A bro mug cake.

Explanation: "So, looks like me and Denki had the same idea. Um, yeah, like what he said, this is kinda our thing. I mean, I freaking love him. So... yeah. He's pretty manly."

Rating: "Again, four for presentation, nine for taste, and ten for all the feels!"

 

Tsuyu: "Next, Ochako!"

On the plate: A lemon tart.

Explanation: "Um, I'm pretty sure my idea was something about opposites attracting but I honestly don't remember anymore."

Rating: "This is pretty neat, so an eight for presentation, an eight for taste, a three for sentimentality, and a ten 'cause I love you and you're adorable."

 

Tsuyu: "Mina!"

On the plate: A fizzy spicy vanilla pomegranate drink in a margarita glass.

Explanation: "All of these ingredients are considered aphrodisiacs, which is basically like romantic ingredients and shit. It would be great for parties!"

Rating: "I'd say a seven for presentation, an eight for taste, a three for sentimentality just because this isn't really about you specifically, but a ten for creativity!"

 

Tsuyu: "Shouto!"

On the plate: A fondant Endeavor cake with the word LOSER printed on the forehead.

Explanation: "Fuck Endeavor. I love to hate him."

Rating: "A ten for presentation because this looks like a literal photo. An eight for taste, but, well, a one for sentimentality. I don't see love anywhere in this."

"I'd like to interject," Shinsou says. "By way of my dessert."

 

Tsuyu: "Well, it's your turn next, anyway. Interject away."

On the plate: A half fire, half-ice cake with the words "It's your power" written on it.

Explanation: "I knew Shouto would do something like what he did, so I decided to make his dessert for him. I know what Izuku said about it being his power at the Sport's Festival really meant something to him, so I decided to go off that."

Rating: "Hm, I don't know if this is allowed or not, but I'll let it slide because it's so cute. Nine for presentation, eight for taste, and ten for thoughtfulness!" 

 

Shouto to Shinsou (whispering): You didn't have to do that.

Shinsou: I know.

Shouto: Thank you.

Shinsou: Of course.

 

Tsuyu: "Next up, my favorite fluffy broccoli boy, Izuku!"

On the plate: A plate of All Might frosted cookies.

Explanation: "Everyone knows I love All Might, so I decided to—"

"Oh, hush, Izuku!" Tsuyu interrupts. "We all know that. Don't think I can't see the one Bakugou cookie at the bottom of the pile!"

Izuku's entire face flushes crimson. "Tsuyu!"

She just raises an eyebrow.

"I—well—he's a huge part of my childhood, so, um, y'know—"

Bakugou rolls his eyes. "Leave the shitty nerd alone, Tsu."

"Fine," Tsuyu huffs.

Rating: "Nine for presentation, eight for taste, and nine for sentimentality!"

 

Tsuyu: "And finally... drumroll, please... Bakugou! I wouldn't be surprised if he's baked cookies that spell out DIE!"

"Fuck you, I didn't!" Bakugou snaps.

On the plate: No. No, he did not. On the plate is a clean-cut pastry in the shape of one of those hero cards, with a fondant picture of a baby Izuku in it. Under Quirk, it says 'Those Damn Puppy Dog Eyes.'

Explanation: Katsuki shrugs. "We used to trade those cards all the time when we were younger. And, I mean, it's fucking Deku. He's the shit. What else is there to say?"

Izuku's started crying. Katsuki gets ready to scowl and snap at him before he remembers hugging is a thing they do now, so he scowls and snaps at him and pulls him into his chest, grumbling all the while.

Rating: Tsuyu's crying, too. Jesus fucking Christ, Bakugou thinks, our class is so pathetic. "Ten! Tens all around! AHHHH, THAT WAS SO CUTE!"

"What the fuck, I said two fucking sentences!"

"I'll take all I can get!"

 

Instagram:

Blasty: [picture of himself with an arm around Izuku's shoulders] Guess who just won @frogger's baking show?

 

Chapter Text

They're training when Deku first notices. Bakugou's fighting Aoyama, who's proving to be a much harder opponent than he'd anticipated, when he releases an explosion. It seems like any other time he's fought, and everyone else is so caught up in their own training that no one else except Deku seems to notice the way his face screws up a little, and the way his entire body seems to almost flinch into itself when he does it.

At first, he thinks it might have just been a fluke, but then he sees that time and time again, it happens. The wince, the flinch, over and over to the point where Izuku can no longer take it.

It's the evening, 7:36, when Izuku finally says something about it.

Katsuki had missed dinner, and yes, sometimes, he did that when he wanted to be alone or when he was particularly pissed off, but Izuku could tell this time was different. Bakugou had barely been able to get through training today.

After everyone else has gone back to their rooms, Izuku hesitantly knocks on Katsuki's door, expecting it to slam open with a few explosions and a shit-ton of swearing. Instead, the door opens slowly, and Bakugou quietly says, "Is there something you needed?"

Izuku gapes.

Katsuki scowls, but it's weak. "What, are you fucking deaf?"

"Kacchan," Izuku whispers.

"What?" Bakugou sounds weary, too weary, and it's worrying Izuku.

"C-Can I come in?"

Bakugou just stares at him for a solid ten seconds, before finally sighing and saying, "Sure."

Izuku steps inside, shutting the door behind him, and awkwardly joins Bakugou on his bed.

"So, what do you want?"

"N-Nothing!" Izuku exclaims, blushing. Then, "I mean, something. Just, um—" He clasps the back of his neck, smiling nervously. "I just wanted to see if you were okay."

The tips of Katsuki's ears flush pink. He looks away, then looks back out of the corner of his eyes. "Why?"

"Because... because I could tell something's been off for the past few weeks, Kacchan," Izuku says sadly, worrying his bottom lip. "And please don't lie and tell me there's nothing wrong because I know there is. So. Just. You know."

"Nothing's fucking wrong, Deku. You're just paranoid."

"Kacchan..."

"What?" he snaps.

"You don't have to hide it."

Bakugou looks like he wants to argue, but doesn't know what exactly he's supposed to be arguing about, so instead he yells because that's what he's best at. "Fucking fine, okay? Yeah, something's been pissing me off lately. Don't know why you need to poke your fucking head into it. You happy now?"

Izuku frowns, brows pulling together. "No. I just want to help."

Bakugou goes quiet at that.

"Kacchan..." Izuku scoots a little closer. He watches as Katsuki swallows, looking towards the floor. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," Bakugou says, and it's meant to come out angry but instead it just comes out small and sad.

Izuku sighs. "Do you think I'm going to make fun of you? Because I'm not. It would be really hypocritical of me if I did. I won't tell anyone about this if you don't want me to, I just want to help."

"I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help!" Bakugou screams, and this time his words come out exactly the way he'd intended. Izuku doesn't bat an eye.

"Sometimes people need help, Kacchan. It's okay."

"It's not."

"Why, Kacchan?" Izuku asks softly, sadly. "Why does admitting something's wrong bother you so much?"

"Because I'm not weak!" Katsuki vaguely realizes he's crying. He angrily swipes at his face, clenching his jaw and gritting his teeth together.

Izuku reaches out, places a gentle hand on Katsuki's shoulder. "No. You're not. You're strong, Kacchan. Strong enough to let yourself feel things sometimes, strong enough to admit when you need something. Okay?"

Katsuki turns to look at him, eyes red and expression open and vulnerable. He looks like a scared little kid. "Okay."

Izuku smiles, softly brushing the tears off of Bakugou's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "So what's wrong?"

"Um," Katsuki says, then hates himself for it because that's the kind of thing fucking extras say. "My hands. Something's been wrong with them. When I was younger, they used to hurt really badly whenever I used my Quirk. I got better at controlling it, obviously, but now it's starting to hurt again and I don't know why."

"Can I see?" Izuku asks. "I have an unhealthy amount of experience with things like this."

Bakugou shrugs and Izuku takes his hands. He's so gentle that if Bakugou's entire body wasn't finely tuned to every nerve on his body where Izuku touches his, he would barely feel anything.

Izuku flips Bakugou's hands over so the palms are facing up and frowns. "Will you flex your fingers for me?"

Bakugou tries to flex his fingers but is only able to bend them around 60 degrees before he's wincing in pain.

"Okay, now could you use your Quirk?"

Katsuki shifts uneasily but lets a few small explosions crackle in his palms. He can only last for a few seconds before he has to stop, gasping.

Izuku gnaws on his lip. "So this is more serious than I'd thought."

"Fucking fantastic."

"But I have a solution. Wait here a sec."

Izuku runs back to his room and grabs the healing cream Recovery Girl gave him for his scars. He's pretty sure this should work on Bakugou's hands, too.

"You better not fucking poison me," Bakugou warns.

Izuku rolls his eyes. "Of course not, Kacchan."

"Hey! Don't get sassy with me, Deku."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Izuku snarks back, smiling.

Bakugou has to bite back a grin. It's nice, having Izuku poke fun at him a little, though he would never admit it. It makes him feel like they're on even playing ground, helps him forget that he used to torment Izuku endlessly when they were younger.

Izuku takes one of Bakugou's hands again, smoothing the cream into his skin, then takes the other and does the same.

Afterward, he rubs small circles into Bakugou's palms with his thumbs, loosening up the clenched muscles. It's not necessary, but Bakugou had sighed and leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes, when he'd done it, so he figured it wasn't hurting anyone.

After a little while, Izuku stops. "Better, Kacchan?"

The corner of Katsuki's mouth quirks up. "Yeah. Uh, thanks, Deku."

Izuku blinks, then a soft flush warms his face. "Anytime."