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Never Again

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oOoOo

 

It came so easy, that kiss. A repeat of something he had done hundreds of times for three almost four years. But tonight Blaine had cheated for the second time in his life, the first time on Kurt, the second time with Kurt. It had felt so perfect, so easy, Kurt was there, closer than he had been in a long time, Blaine felt that old connection, that old draw to be with him, to kiss him, to hold him, and to be loved by him again.

They had just sung their duet, something they had done a thousand times before when they were a couple. But they weren’t a couple anymore; they weren’t boyfriends, because Kurt had decided to end things, to end “them”, and in the process once again almost end Blaine.

The duet had opened up so many feelings in Blaine, feelings he didn’t think he had anymore. Watching Kurt at some points of the song singing directly to him, like he used to when they were still a them , an Us , connected, when Blaine was loved or at least felt like he was, before out of the blue, without warning on a rainy night in New York, Kurt decided it was over, that they weren’t working, no explanation, no conversation, just over.

Blaine had done the only thing he could do, he had gone home to lick his wounds with people who loved him, tried to find his center again and to learn how to breathe. Dave had helped with that.

When Dave had first asked Blaine out he had said no. How could he go out with someone that had hurt Kurt so badly, especially stealing his first kiss? Blaine finally realized he had to stop living his life based on what might hurt Kurt; he needed to learn to live it based on what might actually help him.

And Dave had helped. Blaine had agreed to a date, and then another, it was so easy after a while. Dave was easy to talk to, he didn’t make Blaine feel like he needed to walk on eggshells the way he had felt with Kurt the whole time he lived with him in New York after they had gotten back together.

He had always been afraid he would mess up at any given time with Kurt. He remembered he had tried to make part of the apartment his, his own place, so he didn’t feel like he was living in someone else’s space which is how he had always felt living with Kurt. But it had caused a massive fight.

After that Blaine had always been a little nervous, wondering what was coming next. Maybe he should have seen the first break up for what it was, a good thing, but at the time, he just saw it as heart break, a rejection from the one person he always thought he could trust.

With Dave there had been none of that, he felt comfortable and cared about. He felt important again. After the kiss, Blaine had walked away from Kurt, walked to his car and then drove around for hours, trying to figure out what to do next. He knew he had to tell Dave the truth, he owed him that much.

When he got home he saw that Dave was already in bed asleep, he quickly put on a pair of the lounge pants he always slept in, crawled under the covers with his back to him, silent tears running down his face. When he felt Dave roll over and cuddle behind him protectively wrapping his arm around his waist, Blaine cried harder.

He waited until he felt Dave relax and go back to sleep, before slowly crawling out of bed and going into the living room. He had always loved it when Dave cuddled behind him, it made him feel safe and loved. He couldn’t lay there and let him do it though, offer that comfort he didn’t deserve because of the guilt he felt. Even though Blaine didn’t love Dave he knew that Dave loved him, and that broke his heart.

Blaine was woken up with a soft kiss on his lips, and for a moment he forgot and smiled at Dave. “What are you doing in here, couldn’t you sleep” he asked before leaning down and kissing Blaine again a little deeper.

“No, sorry I didn’t want to wake you up” Blaine said before sitting up. Pulling away from Dave without making it look obvious. Wondering how to start a conversation he never thought he would ever have to have again.

“Why don’t you go ahead and take your shower while I make us breakfast, we need to leave in about forty five minutes” Dave said before pulling Blaine into a quick hug and then walking towards the kitchen.

Blaine had forgotten that they were supposed to be going to Bowling Green, for a football game. He quickly showered and got dressed, heading to the kitchen with a million thoughts running through his mind.

He tried to act upbeat and happy over the weekend for Dave so he wouldn’t ruin his fun with his friends, but when they got back home he knew he wasn’t successful.

“Blaine, what is wrong you have been off since Friday night, did something happen at the party?” Dave questioned

“Dave” was all Blaine was able to get out

Dave sighed deep, “Man, I knew it, I could tell when I woke and you weren’t there I knew something was up.”

“I am so sorry, I really am, I never expected it to happen”

“Can I ask, did you kiss him, or did he kiss you” Dave asked and Blaine could tell with one look just how hurt Dave was.

Blaine just looked at him, not saying anything, knowing that no matter what he said it wouldn’t make it any better, it had still happened.

“It’s ok, I knew you still loved him, and that I wouldn’t have you long the minute Kurt came back to Lima. It was like a ticking time bomb hanging over our heads, times up” Dave said with a sad smile.

“I am so sorry Dave” Blaine said again, unable to say anything else.

“It’s ok Blaine it really is. No hard feelings honestly” Dave said walking towards their bedroom and he started packing a bag. “I think I am going to go spend some time with my parents, I’ll come back later and pack my things, I can’t see myself staying here anymore” He quickly came back into the living room, pulled Blaine into one more hug before kissing him on the cheek and turning around and walking out the door.

Blaine sat on the couch and cried. He had just ruined something special, and hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. After he had cheated on Kurt, he had promised himself he would never do it again, he would never hurt someone that badly again, and then he had done it. He started to think about what his next steps should be. He didn’t want to stay in Lima, but also didn’t want to go back to New York.

He had managed to drop out of NYADA right before they made the decision to kick him out. After the breakup he had gotten so depressed, his grades started slipping bad.

The night Kurt had broken up with him had been the worst night of his life. He had just sat there hurt and confused before it slipped into anger. He had gotten up from the table and walked away. He had checked into the Strand Hotel. It was a little on the pricey side, but luckily, financially he didn’t have to worry, emotionally was a different story, he had just wanted to be somewhere safe and comfortable.

Between the trust funds both sets of his grandparents had set up for him, and also the ones his parents had set up when he was born, he technically would never have to work, but that wasn’t who Blaine was. He needed to be able to support himself. He at some point wanted to have a family, have children. How could he show his children responsibility if he didn’t work, and be responsible for himself?

He had waited until the next morning to go back to the apartment to pack up his stuff. Glad that he didn’t really have a lot to deal with. After the fight him and Kurt had, had shortly after moving in, the only thing Blaine had there was his clothes, and the black and white copy of the picture Kurt had, had made his senior year.

Since that day, that picture had sat on his dresser, or night stand, even when they were broken up. He had always wanted Kurt’s face to be the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night. When he left the apartment that day for the last time, he left his key, and that picture behind. He would no longer need either one of them.

After Dave had left Blaine had sat on the couch until he was cried out.  He went into the bedroom, grabbed his dirty clothes put them in the washer so he could get them ready to pack. He quickly stripped the bed changing the sheets for Dave, before remaking the bed. He wouldn’t be staying here, and since this had been Dave’s apartment when they started dating, then there was no reason for Dave to leave, Blaine would.

He pulled all his clothes out of the closet, and dresser packing everything into his suitcases, he went into the bathroom and packed his toiletries and shaving kit, and then put that in next. Once the dryer buzzed letting him know that his clothes were dry he quickly folded those, packed them, before closing the suitcase up and he was ready to leave, that was it.

Just like with Kurt, when he had moved in with Dave, since his apartment was already set up, Blaine had just brought his clothes, not wanting to go through with Dave what had happened with Kurt. He was looking forward to getting his own place wherever that might be, that way he could set everything up the way he wanted, without making someone mad.

He was just grabbing his guitar case when he heard the doorbell. Walking over and opening the door he was surprised to see Kurt standing there bent over, and out of breath.

“Kurt, are you ok” Blaine asked concerned.

“No, I’m not ok, I messed up, and I lost the most important person in my life. I pushed you out, and I need to know that I have a chance of getting you back. I love you; I need you back in my life. Please say it’s not too late.” Kurt said after standing up straight

“I don’t know Kurt, I really don’t, let’s go sit down a minute”.

He led Kurt over to the couch and sat down and turned sideways so he was facing him

“I still love you too, I really do, but when you did what you did it hurt. There was no explanation for it at all. When you broke up with me the first time I understood, I caused that, that was on me but this time there was no reason at all, or none that you told me about anyway.”

“I know and I owe you an apology for that. I can’t explain what happened, but as the wedding day came closer and closer I think I panicked. When we got engaged it seemed like this far off future thing, you know, but before I knew it, you were talking wedding venues, and planning everything. I felt trapped. I’m sorry I know how that must sound, but that is how I felt” Kurt said

“Kurt, why couldn’t you have just said that, nothing was written in stone, nothing had been paid for, we could have put it off longer. I was under the impression you wanted the same thing I did, that you were ready, I would have preferred you being honest about it, instead of just saying we needed to end things that we had a good run but we should end it before we started hating each other. Do you have any idea how badly that hurt?”

“I know, and I am so sorry, I realized what I had done the minute you walked away, I waited for you at home that night, thinking that we could talk it out, that I could fix what I had done, but you didn’t come home, and then the next day I came in from school and everything was gone, you were gone. You wouldn’t return my calls or my texts, nothing.” Kurt said feeling a tear run down his face.

Blaine hated seeing him cry, he had to fight the urge to reach out and hug him and say everything was going to be ok, but he couldn’t because he knew in his heart, it wouldn’t be.

“I couldn’t talk to you then, I couldn’t see you. I spent that night in a hotel and then when I knew you would be in class I went in and packed everything up.”

“So, where do we go from here, can you forgive me for being stupid and insecure, I love you and I want you back. I will fight to get you back, please tell me I have a chance, that I didn’t screw this up that bad.”Kurt said his voice breaking.

“Like I said before, when you broke up with me the first time I understood that; that was on me I had screwed up and lost your trust. But you took me back, you forgave me, you agreed to marry me. For you to just end it the way you did was like saying I didn’t matter, WE didn’t matter. I almost wish we hadn’t gotten back together, because that I would have understood, but this” Blaine said pointing between the two of them “I can’t”

“Can we try, can we at least just try, I can’t just let you walk away Blaine I can’t, I need you” Kurt said right before reaching out to Blaine and pulling him into a kiss.

Before he knows what he is doing Blaine is kissing back, deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue into Kurt’s mouth, loving the taste, kissing up his jaw to his ear, nibbling on the lobe, before going back and attacking his lips, pulling on Kurt’s shirt until he had it off throwing it on the floor for once not even worried about Kurt’s clothes, pushing him down on the couch before ripping his own shirt off, needing the closeness.

He straddled Kurt’s hips before thrusting down, hearing Kurt’s moan; he started moving faster, loving the friction of his hardness rubbing against Kurt’s. It had been so very long. Even though Blaine had lived with Dave they had never had sex. Blaine hadn’t been ready to take that step yet. He hadn’t felt ready, but with Kurt it was perfect.

“I need you so bad right now Kurt, god I need you,” Blaine said kissing him deep while reaching out to his suitcase that was right by the couch, he shuffles through it until he finds his toiletry bag, and pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom. Putting them both on the coffee table, he stands up and pulls off his pants and boxers his erection popping back onto his abdomen, hard and ready for Kurt. He reached out to Kurt quickly removing his shoes, undoing his pants sliding both his pants and underwear down at the same time, seeing that Kurt was just as hard as he was.

Once he got Kurt undressed, he kneels between his legs, Kurt opens them up wider for him. Blaine leans over him giving him a long passionate kiss before reaching over to the table to grab the lube, he squirts some on his hand, making sure he coated his index finger really well before he slides it slowly into Kurt’s tight hole. He starts moving it in and out while leaning down and placing a lingering kiss onto Kurt’s lips.  

Once he feels Kurt’s body relax around his finger, drawing on his knowledge of Kurt’s body, from previous times they had made love, he pulled his finger out squirts some more lube on his hand coating his middle finger before slowly easing both into Kurt, once again moving them in and out to help loosen him up.

Once again, when he feels Kurt’s muscles start to relax around him, he pulls his fingers out, adds more lube before slowing pushing in a third, watching him for any sign of discomfort, that he was moving too fast. He slowly started to once again move his fingers in and out scissoring them to stretch Kurt further, to lessen as much as possible the pain he knew Kurt was going to feel.

This had always been his favorite and least favorite part of making love with Kurt. Feeling him tight around him was amazing but he also hated that he had to hurt him, even temporarily in the process, had always bothered Blaine.

“Blaine now please now, I need you inside me please” Kurt arched his hips pushing Blaine’s fingers in deeper. Blaine quickly pulled out his fingers, reaching over to the table, he grabs the condom and quickly, tears open the wrapper and then rolls it on. He squirts more lube on his hand before encircling his cock and running his hand up and down a few times to make sure he was slick, and then as always rubbing the excess on Kurt’s hole, before lining himself up and slowing starting to push himself in.

He gives Kurt a few minutes to adjust, before moving further in. Once he was fully seated, with Kurt tight around him, and before he starts to move, he reaches between them and grasps Kurt’s cock in his hand he starts moving it up and down, even though he still wants it, he had always gone a little soft from the pain of the initial penetration, no matter how slowly Blaine entered him. Once Kurt is hard again, Blaine starts moving in and out thrusting his hips, arching up to make sure he hit Kurt’s prostate every time.

Kurt soon starts bucking his hips pushing Blaine harder, faster, needing it. “Blaine,” Kurt moans, and Blaine can feel as Kurt’s muscles start to tighten around him. He always liked it right before Kurt came, because of the way his muscles always tightened around him, if he wasn’t about to cum himself that normally tipped him over the edge.

He quickly reached between them, grasping Kurt’s cock in his hand again moving it up and down in perfect rhythm with his hips thrusting in and out of him until he heard Kurt scream his name, and then felt his warm cum on his hand. He starts thrusting harder, faster into Kurt and before long he is cuming himself, head tilted back riding the wave of his orgasm.

He leaned down to kiss Kurt again and that is when it hits him what he had just done. Yes the sex had been great, with Kurt is always was, but it shouldn’t have happened, Kurt  had always had that effect on him.

He slowly pulled out of him, knowing how sensitive Kurt normally was after sex. Blaine stood up and without saying a word, walked towards the bathroom, pulling the condom off as he goes. He ties it off and throws it in the trash can, before reaching for a washrag to clean himself off. When he was done he grabbed one for Kurt, wets it with warm water then takes it into the living room, and handed it to him. 

Every time before, after making love, he had always cleaned Kurt off, he had always enjoyed doing it, loving the act of taking care of him.  But this time he just reached for his clothes, needing to get dressed. Still not believing he had just done that, and on Dave’s couch.

Noticing that Kurt had sat up, and was now dressed, Blaine sat back down, laying his head on the back of the couch, and rubbing his hands over his eyes, how had he even allowed that to happen, that should never have happened, especially not here of all places.

“Blaine, are you ok” He heard Kurt whisper

“Not really Kurt, that should never have happened, we should not have done that, it was a mistake.” Blaine had never meant anything more.

Kurt started crying, “Was that pay back for after Mr. Shue’s wedding, the way I acted.”

Blaine just looked at him shocked “God, no Kurt, no, just sex wasn’t the answer, and even though me and Dave are no longer together I should never have done that here. It was just wrong”

“We aren’t together Kurt, we broke up, we should have talked, but before I realized what I was doing, I was all over you, I have just missed you so much, and I needed you so badly. But that wasn’t a good enough reason. It just wasn’t.”

“So, you have missed me then” Kurt whispered

“Kurt of course I have missed you, I love you, but once again we should have been talking instead of having sex, I just lost my head” Blaine continued. And yes the sex had been great as usual, but it also made him realize that his feelings for Kurt had changed.

Blaine loved him, and always would, but deep down he knew he couldn’t really trust Kurt with his heart anymore. What if they got back together and he got nervous again, would he make Blaine leave, break up with him again, and break his heart. That made him realize that, that wasn’t a chance he was willing to take. For once he had to take care of himself.

“So, can we talk now, can we work on us to see where we go from here, see how we fix this.” Kurt said wiping the tears off of his face.

Blaine just turned around and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a long time. Yes this was the same man he had fallen in love with his sophomore year of high school, the man he would have done anything for, given anything to be with, would have happily spent the rest of his life with, but Blaine himself had changed, being hurt one too many times had changed him.

He wasn’t that same boy anymore, the one who sang teenage dreams to the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his life. He wasn’t the same man who had proposed to the man of his dreams, the love of his life. 

He was the man who had had his heart shattered by the person he had loved and trusted the most in the world; he was the man who had then been thrown away like he was nothing.

It was time to let go of the past and focus on the future, it was time to let go of Kurt and start taking care of Blaine.

“Kurt, I love you, and I have since I was sixteen years old. You were my world, my life. When you moved to New York you changed. You pulled away from me; you made me feel like I was no longer part of your life. 

“You had so much new stuff going on, you didn’t have time for the old; you didn’t have time for me. I am not trying to lay the blame on you here, but when I cheated on you, it was almost like you were glad. Like you got to let me go, and not have to feel guilty about it”

“Blaine that isn’t true” Kurt started

“Kurt let me finish please. I am just telling you how I felt. I was so happy when you forgave me, when you took me back, and agreed to marry me, but things didn’t go back to the way they were before you left Lima and moved to New York. I still always felt like you were pushing me away, like you wanted me there and didn’t at the same time”.

“Then, there was this last breakup. I was blindsided, I was hurt, and to be honest almost destroyed by it. Twice Kurt, twice out of the blue you pulled away from me, you left me just floating on my own, trying to figure out what I had done wrong”. 

“I don’t think I can go through that again. This last time almost killed me. If my parents hadn’t been there for me, and yes Dave, it probably would have. I just can’t go through that again. What happens the next time you get scared or nervous?”

“Blaine, that isn’t going to happen, I realized what I lost, I can’t be without you”

“Kurt, you can’t say it will never happen again. You can’t promise that, and I can’t live through that again, I just can’t. I think the best thing for both of us, is to stay broken up, to move on, and to let go.” 

“We probably should have done that instead of getting back together after the first time we broke up. We have both changed. We aren’t the same people we were when we first got together, and I don’t think we are what each other needs anymore.” Blaine said feeling tears running down his face, because even though he knew this was the best thing for him, it still hurt.

“Blaine please, don’t do this” Kurt cried

“I’m sorry Kurt, I really am. This is something I never thought I would ever do. Who knows maybe one day we can try again, but right now I think we need to leave it the way it is. You broke up with me, pulled away from me both times for a reason. Maybe you need to work on the whys, and the how comes and maybe in the future, if it is something we both want, we can work on the how’s.”

Kurt slowly stood up, and Blaine stood up with him “I am so sorry Blaine that I ever put you through any of it. I know I had a part in our first break up. You are right I did push you away, and the second breakup was all on me.”

“I would do anything to fix this, to fix us. I will be here if you are ever ready to come back to me. God is this how you felt when I did this to you. I love you Blaine” he said crying, before turning around and heading to the door. He stopped looked at Blaine one more time before opening the door walking out of it and gently closing it back. 

And just like that another chapter of Blaine’s life ended...

 

Chapter Text

 

oOoOo

Blaine sat there after Kurt left, thinking about what he had done, saying goodbye, and realized once again he had done the right thing, made the right choice. He had to move on, he couldn’t keep putting himself in a position to get hurt again. He knew he wouldn’t survive it next time.

Since Dave wouldn’t be back tonight Blaine decided to spend one more night in the apartment, to figure out where he needed to go, what he needed to do next.

He went into the bathroom and grabbed the towels him and Dave had used the day before when they had showered, the washrags him and Kurt had used, along with the dirty sheets he had stripped off the bed and quickly threw them all in the washer and then went back to the bathroom to pull out the trash bag, not wanting to leave evidence of what him and Kurt had done for Dave to potentially find.

He carried the trash down to the dumpster the apartment complex provided for their tenants then walked back to the apartment.  Blaine sat down on the couch and really thought about his next move, where he should go, what he should do with his life.

He knew he needed to turn in a two week notice with Dalton, feeling bad that he wouldn’t be there to see the boys compete. The Warblers really had a strong team this year; Blaine figured they would make it all the way. He unfortunately couldn’t stay there to see it. With Kurt working at McKinley helping Rachel get the New Directions up and running, there was too much of a chance that they would keep running into each other.

He slept on the couch that night, not feeling comfortable sleeping in the bed again, and when his alarm went off he got up and got dressed for work.  He left his key on the kitchen table with a note he had written Dave once again thinking him for everything he had done for him, and apologizing for everything as well, he looked around really quick to make sure he had everything, and then locked the door, and walked out.

After work he checked into a motel, so he could work out his two week notice with the Warblers. He knew he could have moved back in with his parents temporarily, but didn’t want to do that. He had left their house originally an engaged man, and he had come back feeling more like a kid than he had in a long time. He just couldn’t see himself doing that again after his break up with Dave

He thought about what he wanted to do during those two weeks, for once concentrating on himself, what he wanted and needed. He had never done that before, he had always done what someone else wanted or expected him to do, his parents, his teachers, Kurt and even Dave. He had always tried to be what others had wanted him to be. He was finally ready to be himself. He didn’t really know what that would be yet, but was ready to start.

He finished up his two weeks at Dalton, told the Warblers goodbye and then hopped a plane to California, he spent a week with his brother Cooper until he could find an apartment and move in. It felt so liberating living on his own. Buying what he wanted for his home and putting it where he wanted it to go, not worrying where someone else felt it should.

He took time for himself. He didn’t jump straight into school since he really didn’t know what he wanted to do yet, and since he didn’t really need money he took his time making the decision on what to do next with his life.

Blaine had been living in California for two weeks when he got a call from Cooper about a new show that the Fox Network was holding additions for. Cooper had already been hired, but they needed someone to play a young gay high school student, he had told them about Blaine, who had been out of high school for about 6 months and was about to turn 19 within a month, they wanted him to come in.

“Cooper, do you think that is something I could do” Blaine said a little nervous

“I think so, you did all those school plays, so you know how to act, and you went to NYADA even if just for a semester, that will help too, plus you have a killer voice, they will probably be interested in. Try out, if you don’t get it, no harm done. You might actually like it.”

“When is my audition with them” Blaine asked starting to get into the idea, Cooper had always enjoyed acting and had done really well for himself.

“Well squirt, that is the thing, it is in an hour and a half” he said

What!! ” I can’t do that, I will do lousy, I won’t have time to learn a script or anything.” Blaine said now feeling frustrated.

“They know that; the person who was supposed to be playing the part dropped out yesterday, they are wanting to start shooting tomorrow, so they are bringing in a lot of people to just do cold reads, you will be handed a script, if you do ok with that then you will be asked to do a chemistry read to see if you and your co-star can work well together.”

“If I do lousy on this one, will it ruin my chances for another one?” Blaine questioned

“No we all mess up and have lousy auditions that is expected. Suggestion, don’t gel your hair it makes you look older, or just use enough to control the frizz and you should be ok.”

“Anything else?” Blaine asked

“Have you shaved today, if not, don’t shave close like you normally do just leave it a little scruffy but neat looking, wear of pair of jeans and tennis shoes, they always make you look younger than you are. Oh when you get to security tell them who you are and you should have a badge and pass ready. Good luck squirt I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Thanks Coop, I owe you one.” Blaine said smiling

He jumped in the shower, washed out the gel he had put in his hair that morning, put in just a little after his shower. To him it looked weird he had worn gel since he was fourteen and had been made fun of in school, because of his curly hair. He grabbed a pair of faded denim jeans and a t-shirt putting that on and then stepping into his tennis shoes and was soon in a cab heading for the Fox lot.

He stopped at security, was given his badge and told where to go. He immediately felt out of place watching everyone come in dressed to the nines and being given funny looks because what he had decided to audition in.

He made it through the cold read and was asked to go back out to the main room. He held out some hope when not everyone did. Some came out and sat with him, but most just left. By the time all the auditions were done, it was just down to him and four other men.

The door opened again and the production assistant came out. “Mr. Anderson, if you don’t mind following me, gentlemen, thank you for your interest.”

Blaine stood there for a minute before it hit him. He had gotten the part. He smiled really big and happily followed the assistant back. He was taken to the front to fill out paperwork, and to sign a contract. He was asked who his manager was. “I don’t have one, this is the only part I have ever auditioned for” he said feeling nervous thinking he had just blown it.

“Give me a minute” Ms Carson said picking up her phone “Sarah, would you mind getting Mr Drew to come to my office please” 

Within five minutes Cooper was walking in “Mr. Drew, since you recommended Mr. Anderson do you think your manager would be available to sign him on as a client so we can take care of the contract today that way he can be ready to start shooting tomorrow.”

Blaine had completely forgotten that Cooper went by the surname Drew which was short for his middle name Andrew. This made Blaine feel proud because he had gotten the job on his own merit, not because of who his brother was.

Coopers manager happily signed him on as a client, and looked over Blaine’s contract with Fox and found everything in order. Blaine signed the contract and was advised to be on set the next morning at 5am.

His first day on the job, he was shown where his trailer was and then taken to makeup and wardrobe, today he didn’t need to know any lines; he was mainly doing background scenes. He couldn’t believe who his was working with, Ali Roth, Ben Forbes and his all time favorite Jenna Malone, he had been watching her in movies and TV shows for years. To actually get to work with her was amazing.

He got to spend time with his on screen boyfriend Bryce Mitchell. They hit it off right away, they had so much in common, since neither one of them had any real scenes that day they got to just sit back and talk. Be part of the background, as the producer put it, sitting like shrubbery.

Eventually they had to start rehearsing for their first shot together the next day. They were playing two high school boys that had just became boyfriends and were about to share their very first kiss. Blaine knew that feeling so he had a lot of experience to draw from. Bryce on the other hand didn’t. He was actually a straight man playing a gay boy, which to Blaine was just weird.

They ended up having to do the kissing scene for thirty minutes, when they called cut Bryce looked at him with a grin on his face, “if I was even remotely bi-curious you would have just converted me to your team.” He said laughing and Blaine could do nothing but shake his head feeling his face turn a little red.

About that time Cooper, who had already finished his scenes ran up and pulled Blaine into a hug. “Good job there Blainer’s you even had me convinced” he said moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Bryce looks between them and then asks Blaine “oh is this your boyfriend”

Blaine looks at him like he just lost his mind “God no” he said shaking his head

“Why you gotta say it like that Blainer’s come on, you know you love me” Cooper said with his signature pout, which, Blaine could only laugh at.

“Bryce Mitchell, I would like you to meet Cooper Drew aka Cooper Anderson, aka my pain in the ass older brother”

“Hey, why does it have to be like that, where is the love” Cooper said shaking his head before smiling at Bryce. “Hey, nice to meet you” said shaking Bryce’s hand.

Bryce just looked at Cooper star struck “Oh wow I am one of your biggest fans, I was so hoping I would get to meet you” Bryce said just staring at Cooper

“Oh god, please don’t say things like that, you don’t know how hard it is to get his big head in the car already” Blaine said laughing and shaking his head

“Jealous much there squirt” Cooper said laughing.

“Ummm no” Blaine said just looking at him like he was crazy

“Yup, brothers one hundred percent brothers” Bryce said joining in the laughter. “You will have to introduce me to your boyfriend, so I can congratulate him on getting those kinds of kisses” he continued and then noticed the look that crossed Blaine’s face and the protective look that Cooper shot him. “Oh crap sorry”

“It’s ok, just a little recent” he said looking down at his feet until he could get his expression under control, looking up with a smile. “No problem at all” he said holding that smile until it became almost real again.

“I’m really sorry Blaine, if you ever want to talk to your “boyfriend” about your ex boyfriend, I’ll be here” he said not knowing what else to say.

“Thanks I might take you up on that.” Blaine said with a small smile.

“Hey little brother, do you want to come over to my place, and let me get you drunk, and we can say nasty things about Kurt” Cooper said putting his arm across Blaine’s shoulders

“Thanks Cooper but I think I am just going to go home. I’ll see you both in the morning” Blaine said before turning around and walking away from the both of them.

“Oh man, I had no idea; I never would have said anything.” Bryce said looking at Cooper

“I know, trust me I still slip up myself, man I hate that he still has the ability to do that to Blaine” Cooper said really pissed off at Kurt

“That bad huh” Bryce questioned

“Oh yea that bad, but I can’t say anything, that is for Blaine to tell you if and when he is ever ready”

“I can understand that, oh well I will see you guys tomorrow hope Blaine is ok” Bryce said before turning around and walking away

Blaine went home and started reading his lines through for the next day, and it hit so close to home, when Blaine had first met Kurt, like someone had written his life. Blaine reads until about nine thirty before, giving up and going to bed, knowing that tomorrow was going to be long and emotional for him.

oOoOo

Blaine woke up the next morning more comfortable in his own skin than he had in awhile. He had done a lot of soul searching last night, second guessing every decision he had made and finally came to the conclusion he was where he needed to be, he was finally in the right place for him. Yes, walking away from Kurt had hurt, but he needed to do it. He needed to take care of himself for a while, do what was best for him. He needed to put the past in the past and allow himself to move into his present, and eventually set his future.

That morning when he walked onto the lot, he had a better attitude, he had gotten a good job, was it something he had ever thought he would do, maybe not but he enjoyed it. He was going to make the most of this opportunity.

Working with Bryce was amazing, even though they were the same age; Bryce had been in the business since he was fourteen when he got his first TV show. He was always willing to give Blaine pointers, never over stepping so that he made Blaine feel like they weren’t equals but showing him stuff that made him better.

“Are you sure you’re not gay, because that tongue thing you just did was... wow” he said to Bryce laughing and for once it was Bryce who was turning red

They had just filmed one of their first make out sessions, and for Blaine it had gotten a little heated. Luckily the pants he was wearing were loose enough that it wasn’t obvious. He hadn’t had that kind of reaction to anyone, not even Kurt; he had felt a spark when Bryce had touched him, a very strong physical attraction.

He waited for the comeback he just knew was going to fly his way, and when it didn’t he saw that Bryce was breathing a little heavy and that is when he noticed the slight bulge in the front of his pants, which was a little weird since Bryce was supposedly straight.

“Can I talk to you later” Bryce asked him not really looking at him

“Sure, are you ok” Blaine asked him hoping his joke hadn’t been taken the wrong way. Bryce had joked the first day about the kisses they had shared so he thought his comment was ok, but maybe not.

They went back to filming the next part of the script, and everything seemed to go back to normal. The only thing in this scene had them doing was walking down the hallway talking, while holding hands. So it was pretty straightforward. They broke for lunch and he saw Bryce head for his trailer and stayed there until filming began again.

This would be his first scene with Cooper who was playing one of the teachers at the school. He had never really seen Cooper work before, yes, he had seen him in commercials but never anything like this and he was in awe of his big brother. The depth and warmth he brought to his character was amazing.

The next scene they filmed was of Bryce and him kissing again. He remembered that after him and Kurt had shared their first kiss, that day and the next, at every opportunity they had, they were kissing and holding each other, and there had been some heavy make out session the first couple of days as well when they were getting to know each other, so the scenes weren’t too far away from the real life of a teenage boy.

The kiss he shared with Bryce this time was more intense than the ones they had shared before even though the script didn’t call for it, he also got a little closer to Blaine than was scripted as well. Blaine became quickly aroused, and felt that Bryce was too. The director called cut before Blaine could embarrass himself.

That was the last scene he was in that day, he quickly headed to his trailer, locked the door, and walked into the little bathroom. He took care of himself quickly thinking about the kiss he had just shared with Bryce, he came harder than he had in a long time, feeling it down to his toes. 

He needed to get himself under control, he couldn’t walk around hard all the time, but he was just so attracted to Bryce. He hadn’t felt this kind of attraction for a straight man before, wanting something he knew he could never have.

When he went back out to find Cooper, he was on set wrapping up his last scene of the day. “Hey, can I come over tonight and talk to you” he asked. He needed to get Coopers advice on what he should do.

“Yea sure, if you’re ready, we can go now, I can give you a ride. Speaking of which, now that you have a job and an apartment here, it would seem like you plan on staying for a while, when are you going to get yourself a car, or are you thinking of shipping the one you had at home here. I can imagine that the taxi situation is a pain in the butt” Cooper said as they were walking to his car

“I was actually thinking about looking this weekend; I think I’ll leave the Audi at mom and dad’s for when I go home, that way I’ll have something to drive. I really don’t know what kind I want yet.”

On the way to Coopers they went through a drive through burger place that he swears had the best burgers he has ever eaten. They both order a bacon cheeseburger, fries and because of the size of the meal Blaine orders a diet coke and laughs while he does.

When they get to Coopers apartment they ate, and he was right, it was the best burger Blaine had ever had. He might have just found his go to burger place. They were also open late. He knew that some of the scripts called for late night, outdoor scenes so it was always nice to know places that were.

“Ok Blaine, what is up, has something happened with Kurt again? You walked away from your final scene and headed to your trailer looking disturbed. Are you ok” Cooper asked him

Blaine felt guilty for worrying him, and apparently he needed to learn how to be a better actor if Cooper could see he was upset so easily.

“Coop, have you ever been attracted to a co-star before?” Blaine asked not even able to look at him. He didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed for.

“Yeah, I have, that is actually how I met Candi” Cooper answered. Him and Candi had dated for three years and had worked together for two of those three years. They had eventually stopped seeing each other, but were still very good friends. Cooper still considered her one of his best friends.

“Blaine, why are you asking me this is something going on,” he said looking at Blaine not as a fellow actor but as a big brother worried about his family.

“I think I am starting to have feelings for Bryce. I know that is crazy, we just met, but when we had our scenes earlier I felt something. And it isn’t just sexual; I felt something I haven’t felt in a really long time.”

“The bad part is that I know he is straight, but when he kisses me he does this “thing” that just sends electricity shooting through my body. There is this massive attraction. I have never been attracted to a straight man before.”

“I mean just look at Kurt, you can tell by looking at him; he has always been my type. I know Dave was nowhere near that, but he was just a rebound, I know that. I needed someone, and someone completely different from Kurt and he was there, I know how bad that sounds.”

“Listen Blaine, I don’t know what to tell you, I wish I did. Maybe you need to start going out, see if you can find someone to start dating.  I know a place where I can take you, they don’t sell alcohol so you don’t have to be twenty one, anyone eighteen and older can get in. Why don’t we go there Friday and just hang out. Maybe getting your mind off of Bryce will help.”

“Let me think about it” Blaine said before standing up. “I guess I need to head home and run through some lines for tomorrow”

“Do you want a ride” Cooper asked him

“No it isn’t that far, I think I will walk, maybe that will help clear my head, but thanks for everything Coop, I really appreciate it.”

“Hey that’s what big brothers for, love you Blaine, see you tomorrow” Cooper said as Blaine was opening the door

Blaine turned around and smiled “Love you too big brother” he said as he was walking out the door.

When he got back to his apartment, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and his old Dalton Academy sports t-shirt. It was still one of his most comfortable shirts. Too bad it was starting to get thin from all the times he had worn it, he wished he had thought to pick up another one while he was working there.

He puts his iPod on the docking station and starts playing one of his random playlist, and pulls out his script for tomorrow and starts reading it through. The first thing that pops out at Blaine is that it shows another make out session, but also a small fight. He just smiled this looked fun. Apparently Blaine’s character Alex was supposed to say something snarky to Bryce’s character Beau, he supposedly smacks him and then walks away. 

He was reading over his lines for the third time when he got a text message from Bryce. They had exchanged numbers the first day they met, but this was the first time it was used.

Bryce: Hey, can I come over and we can talk

Blaine: Sure, here is my address” Blaine quickly typed in his address and waited a few minutes when he got another text.

Bryce: If it’s ok, I’ll be there in about ten minutes?

Blaine: That will be fine, see you then

Blaine thinks about changing clothes but then thinks it is stupid. This isn’t a date; Bryce is just coming over so they can talk. Blaine continues to read through his script until he hears a knock on his door. He stands up, and goes to answer it.

“Hi, thanks for letting me come over such last minute” Bryce says not really looking Blaine in the eyes.

“No problem, do you want something to drink. I have diet coke, and water” Blaine asks after shutting the door leading Bryce into the living room.

He noticed that Bryce looked really nervous and was ringing his hand. “No I don’t need anything” he finally answered.

“OK, do you want to sit down” Blaine said sitting on the couch.

Bryce finally sat down but still not looking at him. Blaine was really confused by the way he was acting. They always got along great on set, now it just felt weird, and awkward. Did his comment earlier upset him that much?

Finally Bryce turned on the couch so he was facing Blaine. “I don’t even know where to start this conversation Blaine I really don’t. I feel like we have started becoming friends and I don’t want to do anything to mess that up” he said taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I have always thought of myself as straight, I have only ever dated woman, yeah I admit I have found some guys attractive but didn’t really think anything about it. That first day we kissed on set, I felt something I have never felt before, I can’t explain it, and then when we did that make out scene earlier today, I wanted you more than I have ever wanted anyone else, I have never felt like that with any girl I have ever dated.”

“I know with the situation you are in this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I needed to apologize for taking that scene too far today.  Until you made that comment about my tongue I hadn’t even realized I had done that too you. I have only ever done that with one person, one of my ex girlfriends, and I had only done it when I was so turned on that I felt like I was going to explode.”

“Please accept my apology and know that I will work to keep everything between us professional and friendly. You don’t need to go to work and be sexually harassed and I just wanted you to know how sorry I was” He said before standing up and heading to the door.

Up to that point Blaine hadn’t said anything; he had just let him talk, with his heart beating in his chest so hard he was surprised that Bryce didn’t hear it.

“Can I talk now” he asked right before Bryce got to the door

“What” Bryce said turning around, looking surprised?

“I said can I talk now, why don’t you come back over here and sit down for a minute” Blaine said with a soft smile on his face.

He waited for him to sit down before turning his body toward him

“I felt it too” Blaine said looking at him

“What” Bryce said looking at him in shock.

“I said I felt it too, when you kissed me it was like a jolt of electricity went up my spine. Unlike you I have kissed other men, I had a boyfriend for three almost four years who I was in love with, and engaged too and I never felt that even with him.”

“It was like this instant attraction, but you were straight, so you were so far out of my league, you were also not the type of man I have ever been attracted to, you are actually the opposite in every way, but you have been on my mind since our first kiss. When you made that comment about the way I kissed, I was confused, because you were straight.”

“To be honest I expected you to be a little repulsed. I have only kissed a girl twice in my life, both times with the same girl. I was at a party with my friend, the one who eventually became my boyfriend. I got really drunk and me and a girl friend of his kissed.  At the time, when I was drunk it felt great, we went out on a date, and I kissed her sober it was so very wrong, and I never kissed another girl, never wanted too.”

“I actually went and talked to Cooper for a while before coming home tonight. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had all these feelings for you that I knew could never go anywhere. He actually planned on taking me out this weekend to see if I could find someone to date.”

Bryce just looked at him smiling “you really felt it too” he said almost disbelievingly.

“Very much so, I can’t believe you didn’t feel how turned on I was.  When you did that tongue thing, which I loved by the way, I was so hard I had to walk back to my trailer to take care of some things” Blaine said laughing.

“Wow, I don’t even know what to say right now. I never considered myself gay before, I never had anything against people who were but never saw myself that way, until some curly headed man walked in front of me and to be honest I was a little bit lost.” Bryce said with a smile on his face.

Blaine reached out and took Bryce’s hand in his looking him in the eyes,

“I have a suggestion, since I have never kissed “you” Bryce why don’t …..” he didn’t get to finish because Bryce cut him off

“Yes you have, trust me that is a vivid memory I have from just a few hours ago” Bryce looked at him with confusion, tilting his head sideways.

“Let me finish” Blaine said laughing

“Alex has kissed Beau and Beau has kissed Alex, and very well by the way, but Blaine has never kissed Bryce and vice versa, with your permission, I would like to remedy that, to kiss you because I want to and not because it was part of a script telling me to do so. Would you be ok with that?” Blaine asked looking deep into Bryce’s big brown eyes.

Bryce just smiled, “Yes, I would very much be ok with that”

Blaine gently reached out and pulled Bryce into his arms, leaning down he softly placed his lips on his, and there was that electricity again. He raised his hand and cupped Bryce’s face before running his tongue on his bottom lip asking permission to enter, when Bryce opened his mouth, Blaine slipped his tongue in, slowly running his tongue against Bryce’s chasing it sucking it gently before running his tongue on the roof of his mouth, never trying to deepen the kiss, just happy to keep it soft and gentle for their first real kiss.

When he finally broke the kiss, he placed his forehead on Bryce’s, out of breath and so turned on it wasn’t funny. He noticed that Bryce was breathing heavy as well Blaine leaned in and placed another soft kiss on his lips before pulling back so he could look in Bryce’s eyes, judge his response. Blaine just looked at him with a soft smile on his face.

“Wow, I thought Alex’s kissed good, but damn Blaine” Bryce said before leaning in and pulling Blaine into his arms and kissing him, deeper than the one Blaine had given him.

When they leaned back they were both breathing heavy and Blaine was extremely hard for the second time that day….



Chapter Text

 

Blaine and Bryce spent a lot of time just talking, getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company, stealing an occasional kiss.

“Can I ask you a question, feel free to tell me it is none of my business, but you have mentioned a long term boyfriend, can I ask what happened.” Bryce asked

Blaine just looked at him for a minute, before deciding to answer. He really liked Bryce and was hoping what they had together could become more.

“Ok” Blaine said letting out a long breath

“I met Kurt my sophomore, his junior year in high school. He had come to spy on our glee club. I was part of a group called the Dalton Academy Warblers. He was in a rival group from McKinley High called the New Directions.”

“The day we met like I said he came to spy on us, we had planned this impromptu performance, we were doing teenage dream and while I sang that song, to be honest I fell a little in love with him”

“It took me a while to realize how I felt about him, hence the whole kissing Rachel Berry fiasco. He ended up transferring to Dalton for about six months because he was being bullied, really bad and his life was even threatened for being gay. Once he came to Dalton and we were able to spend more time together, that is when I realized I was in love with him.”

“He transferred back to McKinley when there was no longer a threat. I ended up transferring there the next year to be with him. It was great, we were in love everything was perfect, until it wasn’t anymore. Kurt was accepted into NYADA so he and Rachel moved to New York and I was going to follow the next year.”

“We had it all figured out, we were going to call, and email and Skype all the time so we could stay connected. That worked for the first month then he got an internship at Vogue. He started working crazy hours, calls went unanswered and not returned, text message the same, and our Skype dates got rescheduled and then rescheduled again.”

“I started to feel like I was losing him, like I no longer mattered to him, like I was no longer part of his life. Important things happened and he wouldn’t return my call. I knew it took 7 rings for his phone to go to voicemail, that is how many times I called and heard it, I knew how many rings it took.”

“Before I knew it voicemail was picking up after only three rings which means he was purposely ignoring my calls. I was seventeen, the love of my life had pushed me aside, I felt like I was no longer part of his life much less his world, I cheated on him.”

"The minute it happened I felt guilty, because I should have acted like a man and got on a plane and made him talk to me. As soon as I cheated I did fly out to see him to confess everything, in the back of my mind I think I thought we could work it out, somehow we would still be ok, but he broke up with me and we were broken up for about six months.”

“As if it wasn’t bad enough that I lost my boyfriend, he was also my best friend before we started dating, so I lost both my boyfriend and best friend at the same time, he was the person I turned to the most, about a lot of things, and he was gone.”

“His dad loved me, he kept pushing for us to get back together, he flew me to New York with him to surprise Kurt for Christmas, even though we were broken up. He had just found out that he had prostate cancer and wanted someone to be there for Kurt and as far as Burt was concerned that someone would always be me.”

“Kurt started coming home more and more and we started talking again. We finally made up, and we were happier than ever.”

“We got back together and I asked him to marry me a week later in this grand proposal in front of our friends, and his dad, on the spot where we had first met. He said yes and I was the happiest man you could have ever seen. I still had four months before graduation and I could move to be with him, but things were better we worked on our communication issues, if he missed a call he called me back.”

“Once I graduated, I moved to New York to be with him. He and Rachel had this big apartment in Bushwick. It was a part of a converted warehouse. It was big so there was plenty of room for the three of us”

“I should have seen the signs that there was a problem from the minute I moved in, but I just kept pushing everything to the back of my mind, within a week of me moving in we had the biggest fight we had ever had.”

“I tried to make myself a study area, so that I had a small space in the apartment that was mine since everywhere else you looked was all Kurt. His setup, his design I just wanted one spot that was mine. He exploded saying he wished I had asked him before making design decisions in his home.”

“We made up from that and things seemed to be back on track until two weeks later we had an even bigger blow up, because he had wiped his mouth on the hand towel in the bathroom and got toothpaste on it. I suggested that he change it, put out a clean one, he said that was stupid it was just put out clean that morning, and we had a two hour argument about it.”

“I started trying to plan our wedding, it was something I had assumed we would do together, all he talked about when we first met was how he had planned his dad and step mom’s wedding in less than two week. He didn’t seem to want any part of it.”

“I picked flowers that I knew he loved, we had always given each other six red and six yellow roses, he said that wasn’t the look he was going for, and then the restaurant, for the catering was a problem, everything I chose he had a problem with, but he never gave me suggestions on what would be better.”

“I should have caught on but I was so blinded by love and the thought of spending the rest of my life with my best friend. We met for dinner one night and he griped about everything, I was a few minutes late because I had to stop and check on something for the wedding, plus it was really raining that night.”

“I finally asked him wasn’t he happy anymore, didn’t he still want to marry me, he looked at me and said “Maybe I don’t. Let’s just end things before we started hating each other” no explanation it was just over three almost four years of our lives tossed aside like it didn’t matter”

“Shit Blaine, I am so sorry” Bryce said staring at him

“Unfortunately that isn’t all, I can stop there if you want” Blaine said not wanting to bore him

“No go ahead and tell me the rest” Bryce said just looking at him

“After we broke up, I got a little depressed, and I moved back home with my parents, I ended up getting a substitute teaching job for the Warblers and I loved it. I started dating someone who really helped me a lot.”

“There was no great love, but companionship, I need to say though that he was also the person who bullied Kurt during high school. Come to find out he was gay, and didn’t know how to deal with Kurt being out of the closet when he was too scared to be. Dave had apologized and they were ok after that.”

“When he first asked me out I couldn’t say yes because of how bad he had hurt Kurt. Then I decided that I needed to stop thinking about Kurt and start thinking about what was good for me. We had a lot in common, we ended up moving in together, on my end just as friends, on his, he was hoping for more. We were dating, but I didn’t love him and he knew it.”

“When our friend Rachel crashed and burned on her own sitcom she came back to Lima to help revamp the New Directions and within a few weeks Kurt was back too, along with most of the original glee club. The New Directions weren’t just Kurt’s friends they had become mine as well, they started calling me to come to McKinley for one thing or the other.”

“Mercedes wanted me to help her convince Rachel she needed to go back to Broadway. She had given up the role of Fanny Brice to come here to do that TV show. She didn’t belong on TV, Rachel Berry belonged on Broadway and we all knew it.”

“Wait is that the same Rachel you drunk kissed” Bryce said with a big grin

“One and the same” Blaine said laughing

“Like I said for one reason or the other I kept getting called back to McKinley, by Mercedes, Sam, even my old cheerleading coach called me”

“Wait, wait, wait, you were a cheerleader?” Bryce said mouth hanging open

“Yup guilty; videos on YouTube to prove it, along with a few others” Blaine said laughing again

“Sorry go ahead I’ll try not to interrupt you again” Bryce said still looking at Blaine

“Anyway, there was a party again at Rachel’s for all the old and new, New Directions she was having to leave her childhood home and was having a really hard time dealing with it. So a group of us got together to throw her a goodbye to Rachel’s childhood home party.”

“Kurt and I were picked as a team to do a duet everyone was going to sing one with someone else. We did ours and all these old feelings came out. When I had to leave, he walked me outside and we just talked. It was just comfortable, it was us, you know, and before I knew what I was doing I kissed him. So twice in my life I cheated.”

“Doesn’t really paint me in the best picture but that is what happened. Dave and I broke up, and I had to decide what to do with the rest of my life. Kurt showed up begging me to come back to him, apologizing for everything, even things that had caused our first break up, he acknowledged that he had gotten too busy and pulled away.”

“He said that he realized what we had, after the breakup, and wanted me back. I was so close to saying yes. Kurt had been my world for so long you know, not only that but also he was my best friend. I loved him so much.”

“Sitting there looking at him I realized how easily he had ended us twice one way or the other. If we got back together, how long would it be before he decided to do it again? I finally had to think about what was good for me, what I needed to do for myself. I packed up and moved here. You know the rest”

“Wow Blaine, I am so sorry you had to go through that. No wonder you looked the way you did when I mentioned your boyfriend.

“So, has my story run you off yet” Blaine asked really hoping not. He really felt like they could be something

Bryce looked at him for a few minutes, not saying anything.

“No you haven’t. I understand why you did what you did both times. But if we do start something and he shows up, I might have to hurt him and then probably you if he comes near you so you have been warned” he said with a scary look on his face

“I think I can handle that” Blaine said with a laugh, before pulling Bryce back into his arms and kissing him again. When things started heating up, Blaine pulled back putting his hand on either side of his face, kissing softly

“If we don’t stop soon, I won’t be able to” Blaine said softly.

“Yeah I guess I need to head home,'' he said standing up and heading to the door. “See you tomorrow” he said almost questioningly

Blaine walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him in closer, “Oh you’ll definitely see my tomorrow, have a good night and be careful driving home ok.”

“I will” he said placing a kiss on Blaine’s lips one more time before walking out the door

oOoOo

Blaine woke up the next morning with a smile on his face, looking forward to seeing Bryce again. Then it hit him, how are they going to act on set. Bryce wasn’t out. Were they just going to act like co-workers because that technically was all they were, yes they had shared stories and several, several kisses that had pushed Blaine to the very edge so that he had to take care of himself again after Bryce had left

He decided the best way to handle everything was to let Bryce make the moves. He was the one who wasn’t out, he was the only one who could make the decision on what to tell. Blaine couldn’t out him. He decided to just go in and act normal and go from there.

They ended up not being in any of the same scenes during the morning shoot, after lunch would be the first time they were together. He knew that they were supposed to have an argument. He had half expected to see Bryce during the lunch break but didn’t, he spent the time with Cooper. He was going to go looking for a car Saturday and Cooper had agreed to go with him.

One of the crew members walked over to the television in the break area, turning it on, “did you guys see where Bryce is going to be doing an interview this morning. He has been up in the office all morning, talking to legal and to his mom and dad on the phone. I heard he was about to make a big announcement.”

 Blaine turns around and looks at the screen. The interview was just starting.

“Hi, I don’t normally do these kinds of interviews, but there is an announcement that I need to make. I have met someone very special. This person makes me laugh, and smile, and just makes me happy. We haven’t really known each other long, we are still in the infancy stages but I have never met anyone like this person before, someone who is so honest, amazing and caring.”

“The main reason for this interview is because you will probably hear things, and I wanted to be the one to announce this. I have spent the morning talking to my parents, publicist, and with the head of the studio.”

“This has been a long journey of discovery for me, I have always had these thoughts in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t till I met this amazing person that it all made sense. My world opened up, things became so much clearer. Ok now the announcement” He said looking over at his parents who had arrived just before the camera started rolling. They just smiled at him with encouragement

“I want to announce that I am gay. This isn’t something I ever thought about, I have always dated girls, and have even loved a few, but there has always been something missing. The minute I met this person, my eyes were opened for the first time. He made me see things like I never have before. He lights up my day just by being in it”

That was as much as Blaine could handle, he thought he had had a shot with Bryce, but apparently he already had someone else. When will he ever learn.

“Let’s go out Friday night” He said looking at Cooper    

“Works for me squirt” Cooper said smiling.

Blaine was glad he hadn’t told Cooper about his conversation with Bryce last night, a conversation that had made him believe he had a shot at something that could have been special. He smiled at Cooper and then stood up.

“I am going to go to my trailer, I have a little bit of time before my next scene, I think I am going to go and have a quick nap.”Blaine said, thank goodness he usually did that so it didn’t seem so out of place. With being on set at five in the morning, a lot of the crew would grab little naps in between shoots.

He needed time to get his thoughts in order, time to prepare to face Bryce and be able to act normal. They had started being friends before last night and he hopes that they can continue with that.

He kind of laughed when he remembered the scene they were about to shoot. He and Bryce were supposed to have a small lovers quarrel with Blaine ending up being smacked. Well this should be cathartic if nothing else.

When Blaine gets the call that he is due on set, he makes his way there, trying to keep everything off his mind except for what he needed to do for his scene. Usually he went over and talked to Bryce, but he wasn’t feeling it today, he wanted to get his work done for the day, go to Coopers borrow one of his bottles of liquor and just forget everything, even if  just a little while

“Beau, I’m sorry but that is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You have lost your mind if you think I am going to let you go out with someone else. You are MY boyfriend, how would that look. I don’t care if it was already planned before we got together.”

Let me Alex, who are you to let me do anything, you are not my parents, and you don’t get to tell me what to do ” he said getting right in Alex’s face pointing his finger the whole time.

You know what I meant Beau, how would you like it if I decided to go somewhere with Adam, would that be ok with you ?”

“That is different and you know it, you and Adam used to be a couple, me and Ben have been friends forever, we have had this scheduled for months, Alex, months.”

Now it was Alex time to get mad “ And Ben loves you, you idiot. How can you even think of going out with him even as friends? Are you really that dense? Fine, do what you want to do, go out with him, but don’t come back to me when he breaks your heart. I am done. Man I still can’t believe you could be that dumb .” At this point Bryce slaps Blaine and the scene cuts

Cooper walked up to them with a smile on his face “Man you guys nailed it on the first try. Good deal. Come on Blainer’s let's go grab dinner, my treat I wanted to talk to you about something”

“Have a good night” Blaine said to Bryce turning around and walking away with Cooper.

Bryce just stands back and looks at him. He had been hoping to talk to Blaine, see if he had seen the interview, see if what they had started last night could be built into something, but Blaine had been acting weird ever since he came on set. He wouldn’t look at Bryce and seemed to put a lot more anger into the scene than they had actually rehearsed.

He was starting to think he had misread what happened last night. In the back of his mind he had seen the whole thing play out, he would do his interview, talk to Blaine, let him know that he was the one he had been talking about and they could go from there. But Blaine had been distant, and now he was walking away with Cooper. Now what…..

oOoOo

Blaine went with Cooper for dinner. They once again went to the burger place, but ate in this time instead of taking it too Coopers

“Ok, squirt what is up. You have been off most of the day. You barely talked to Bryce other than during your scene.  Is there something going on, you were fine this morning and then after that interview it was almost like you zoned out. I thought that would be a good thing, like maybe you would have a shot, and then you asked to go out Friday” Cooper asked looking concerned.

“Didn’t you hear what he said, he has someone “special” in his life “He lights up his day just by being in it.” I can’t compete with that Cooper, and with everything that happened with Kurt, I don’t think I have the strength too.”

“He came over last night and we talked. I thought we were heading somewhere. He told me that he felt something when he was with me and we kissed. I told him everything about Kurt, the first time I cheated, and how I cheated on Dave with Kurt.”

“He made some comment that if we get together and Kurt comes around he will hurt him and probably me too. I took that to mean that we might be moving towards something, and then that interview pretty much showed me there was no way.”

“Blaine, did you talk to him today, after the interview, you have a habit of taking things the wrong way, spinning them the way you think they are. You did that with Kurt, don’t do that with Bryce. Talk to him before you just give up.” Cooper said with concern

“Ok, I’ll talk to him tomorrow; I would like him to be my friend if nothing else. I just had to shake the feelings, almost like a rejection. I know how I can get sometimes, but with the whole Kurt thing that happened, I guess I am a little warped in the head” Blaine said with an almost sad smile. He was feeling better after talking to Cooper.

After they finished eating, Cooper dropped Blaine off at his apartment building, he took the elevator up to his floor and walking down the hall he was pulling out his keys. That is when he sees someone who looked like Bryce sitting on the floor beside his door, legs pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them and his head on his knees he could make out his shoulders moving up and down like he was crying.  He ran up to him, squatted down beside him.

“Bryce are you ok” he said putting his hand on his back

“I thought you would be happy” he said looking up at Blaine and he could tell that he had been crying for a while. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

“Thought I would be happy about what” Blaine asked looking at him concerned. “Come on stand up, and we can go inside and talk” He said holding out his hand to Bryce, to help him stand and then unlocked and opened his door. They walked in and Blaine guided him over to the couch.

“Give me just a minute,” he said, first walking towards the bathroom, grabbing a washrag and wet it then walked into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge and went back over to the couch.

“Here wipe off your face, and drink some of this and then we can talk” he said hating to see Bryce so upset, wondering if his wonderful person had already broken his heart and hoped not. He was to special a person for that. Bryce drank half of the water in one go, and then wiped his eyes.

“Ok, you ready to tell me about it” Blaine asked him softly

“Blaine when I woke up this morning, I was so happy, I had finally figured everything out, why I have never been able to get close to any of the girls I have dated. I have loved some of them, but never had the connection to someone like you hear about until I met you.”

“When you kissed me that first time, I felt it down to my knees; I just knew that you were the person I was meant to be with. I called my parents and talked to them, went to my publicist, and the head of Fox to let them know, I was planning on coming out, that I was gay.”

“I did the interview because I didn’t want any rumors floating around. I wanted to control the situation, the story not the paparazzi. When I got on set I was so excited to tell you, but you were so standoffish I figured I had misunderstood what happened last night, that I had misread the signals. I am so new at this” He said closing his eyes and laid is head on the back of the couch.

“Ahh, sweetheart you didn’t misread anything, apparently I did. When I saw your interview, since you hadn’t said anything I just assumed you were talking about someone else, that you had found someone else.” Blaine said pulling him into his arms

Bryce wrapped his arms around Blaine, placed his head on Blaine’s shoulder and whispered “No I meant you. You are this amazing wonderful person, I was hoping you wanted what I wanted, that you would be willing to see if we can be something to each other. I know that is crazy, but I was really hoping.

Blaine leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead “Nothing would make me happier, I want that too, I really do.”

Bryce raised his head and looked at him. “Are you sure, I know what you have been through, and I can’t promise you that I will never hurt you, but I can promise to do my very best not too.

“That is all I can ask for, and I give you the same promise. But we are going to need to take this slow. Like you said you are new to this, I don’t ever want to do something you aren’t comfortable with, that you aren’t ready for. I’m going to depend on you to talk to me if things are going too fast. I need you to let me know what you want and what you feel comfortable with. I don’t ever want to rush you. If I go too far stop me”

“Ok, can you kiss me now please” Bryce asked a little hesitantly.

“Oh sweetheart, nothing would make me happier” Blaine said before leaning in and capturing his lips, waiting for Bryce to open his mouth he lets his tongue ease in. He slowly kisses up his jaw line to his ear licking around the outside shell, to the earlobe gently sucking on it before gently biting down.

He felt Bryce arch up against him, and heard his heavy breathing and knew he needed to slow down. He wanted to try to build a relationship with him, not let it be only about sex. He kissed him slowly one more time before pressing their foreheads together.

“Oh, how quickly you make me forget myself” He whispered with a soft smile on his face, pulling him into a hug so that he was half lying on him, comfortable to just stay like that, occasionally planting  soft kisses on top of his head.

They just sat like that forever holding each other, and then Blaine noticed how still Bryce had gotten, how slow his breathing was, he was asleep, and Blaine smiled he was in heaven, he had always enjoyed cuddling, and with Bryce in his arms, he couldn’t think of a time that was any better.

He reached out to the back of the couch, for the throw he always kept there, he placed it across Bryce’s back and slowly while holding him slid down on the couch, so he was lying on his back, with Bryce on top of him.

With his arm still wrapped around him, he gently rolled to his side so that Bryce’s back was now toward the back of the couch, his head still on Blaine’s shoulder, he adjusted the throw so they were both covered, gently placing a soft kiss on his forehead before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep with a smile on his face.

Blaine wakes up later when he feels Bryce gently thrust his hips out. Without opening his eyes, he whispers “Sweetheart you really need to stop that or you will get more than you were expecting” Blaine was already getting hard loving the feeling of Bryce rubbing on him like that.

Bryce stopped and Blaine felt him duck his head further into his neck. “Sorry” he said unknowingly blowing warm air on one of Blaine’s most sensitive places on his neck making him even harder. He shifts his hips so that they are further away from Bryce kissing him on his forehead.

“It is ok, you don’t have anything to apologize for” he said placing another soft kiss on Bryce’s forehead.

He just manages to drift back to sleep when he feels Bryce rock into him again, this time he opens his eyes, barely making out his face with the small amount of light streaming in around the curtains from the outside light.

Blaine slowly leans in and places a soft kiss on his lips, he was so hard now it was painful but he wanted to give Bryce time to stop, knowing he had never done anything like this before. When Bryce deepens the kiss, Blaine slips his tongue into his mouth, chasing his tongue, gently sucking it into his mouth, before tugging gently on his hair to tilt his head, and scrapes his lips and teeth down Bryce's neck, he takes the arm that he had draped across his waist slowly running his hand down his side on to his ass and pulls his hips forward, closer, and feels that Bryce is just as hard as he is, and that is all it takes.

Blaine shifts his hips and now his hard erection is on Bryce's. Still squeezing his ass he pulls him even closer, slowly rocking into him, as he continues to kiss him passionately, pressing harder thrusting faster, enjoying the friction, Bryce shifts his hips allowing more contact, and Blaine almost loses it then.

He continues rocking his hips connecting with Bryce, chasing his orgasm hoping he can hold out long enough for Bryce, to get his first. This was their first experience together, and a first for Bryce.  He wanted to make this so good for him.

When he feels Bryce starts arching forward, he grabs on to his ass again, holding him close as he thrust his hips faster.  Blaine feels as Bryce’s hands on his back start to dig his nails in, soon he is gasping and is moving faster, nails digging in harder and Blaine thinks it is the most amazing feeling he has ever felt.

He never knew how much he would love nails digging into his back like that. Before long he is pressing into Bryce harder, faster, looking in his eyes he somehow knows the instant he gets his release, and Blaine rocks himself through his own orgasm with long strangled moans, he follows not long after.

They both lay there panting, not saying anything, just staring at each other.

“I didn’t know it could be like that” Bryce said before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Blaine’s lips

“It has never been like that for me before” Blaine said looking at him with a gentle smile, and he was 100% honest about it. He and Kurt had had sex, a lot, and it had always been good, but something as simple as what they had just shared had been better than anything he had ever experienced before. He knew his back was going to be scratched up and really couldn’t bring himself to care

He held Bryce in his arms tight placing gentle kisses on his lips, snuggling close, pulling him tighter. He had always enjoyed the after. He loved the closeness. The longer him and Kurt had been together, it seemed like the quicker Kurt pulled away.

He wasn’t a cuddler, or at least he wasn’t after they had gotten back together, after the first breakup.  Before then he remembers holding him for hours. Maybe that had been another sign he should have paid attention too.

“Why don’t we go and cleaned up, and then we can climb into bed” Blaine said kissing Bryce one more time before standing up and putting his hand out to Bryce to help him stand up.

Still holding his hand, he guided him into his bedroom, shuffled through his drawers and pulled out a pair of lounge pants so Bryce would have something clean to put on after he got out of the shower.

Blaine sat on the side of the bed until Bryce got out of the shower and walked out of the bathroom wearing his lounge pants and no shirt. Bryce was beautiful, he was tan and built and before he realized it Blaine was turned on again.

He had never been so turned on by someone, for the simplest things before. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Bryce’s lips before heading to the shower, wanting to do so much more but knowing he needed to slow down. This was to important to be messed up with sex, they needed to take things slow until Bryce was ready for more.

He knew he couldn’t walk back into the bedroom in the condition he was in, so he soaped up his hand, and started running it up and down his cock, thinking about Bryce and what they had done in the living room and before long he was coming again. Biting his lip to keep from calling out, it hit him that hard. Twice in less than an hour, he had never been like that before. That turned on by another person.

He quickly cleaned up and dressed before walking back into his room.  Bryce was setting on the edge of the bed were Blaine had sat down, he walked over to him, and pulled him back into his arms placing a small kiss on his lips before bending over to the bed and pulling the blankets down and allowing Bryce to slide in and then slid in beside him, he reached over and turned off the lights before pulling him back into his arms.

“Was that it” he heard Bryce say from where his head was laying on his chest.

“Was what it” Blaine said leaning up and looking down at him a little confused by the question.

“Was that all there is to sex between two men” he said turning red, looking embarrassed.

“No sweetheart, that is nowhere near all, trust me. But for now I think that is all you are ready for. We can always try more when you are ready” Blaine said looking at him with a small smile.

“Was it enough for you, if that wasn’t all of it, and you are used to more, is that enough for you.” Bryce said sounding nervous

“Me just holding you in my arms is enough, what we did in there is enough” Blaine said leaning down placing a gentle kiss on his sweet lips, before pulling him even closer, with a smile on his face. This was definitely enough. More than enough for now anyway, he thought before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep, with a happy smile on his face.


Chapter Text

 

“Umm Hi, everyone I umm want to sing a song that is very special to me, this is the song I sang the first time I ever met the love of my life, so Kurt this is for you.”

Before you met me I was alright but things were kind of heavy you brought me to life now every February, you’ll be my Valentine, Valentine….

They were walking through central park when Kurt finally asked the question that Blaine didn't want him to ask and he had to tell him the truth. He had been so blind and so stupid and thought honestly that they would fight, work through it, but somehow they would survive, that their love was strong enough, they would make it.

Blaine woke up gasping for air, as sobs wracked through his body, jerking up trying to breathe, only then remembering that Bryce had been in bed with him. He quickly looks over to where Bryce should have been, afraid that he had woke him up and that he was going to have to explain that he sometimes had nightmares from when him and Kurt broke up, but Bryce wasn’t there.

He had lost count of how many times he had woken Dave up, gasping for air, sobs breaking free as he relived two of the worst days of his life. Sometimes the nightmares centered around the first break up but usually it was the second that he seemed to have the worst nightmares from.

Once again he looks over to where Bryce had been and sees an empty bed, sheets and blankets pulled up like he had never even been there. He had always hated that toward the end, before him and Kurt’s final break up.

Kurt had gotten to where he would come in from work late, usually long after Blaine had finally gone to bed and fallen asleep. He would stay awake as long as he could, just hoping to get to see him, hoping they could spend even a moment together, only to wake up and find the bed empty. His side of the bed would be made up, just like it was this morning. Once again another sign he missed.

No matter how early he set his clock Kurt was always gone when he woke up. If it wasn’t for the few times he would wake up to snuggle next to him before falling back to sleep he would have thought Kurt never came to their bed.

That was usually how his second dream went, him laying there in bed, just waiting for Kurt to come home, wanting to spend some time together, even if it was just to talk, only to end with him sitting at the restaurant, rain pouring down behind him as Kurt says they had a good run but should just end things before they really started hating each other.

Blaine ran the heels of his hands across his eyes, and then through his hair as he stands up and headed to the shower. He no longer gels his hair like he did in school, the makeup person had given him a new product to use. It was best when applied right after showering so he usually did that before heading to the studio.

He reaches in his drawer and pulls out the cream he had started using right after the second break up, he always had swollen puffy eyes from crying, and the cream seemed to help cover it up. He knows that once he gets to the lot and then to makeup, it will be covered up anyway, but doesn’t want to take a chance of Cooper seeing him like that and getting concerned.

He digs in his closet and pulls out his most comfortable pair of jeans and t-shirt and puts them on, once again knowing he will have to change, wardrobe will have an outfit picked out for him, but he just wanted to be comfortable right now. He knows once he gets to work he will be ok, it just usually takes him a few minutes to shake the last little bit of feelings he normally has left from the dreams.

Dave used to hold him through it, hold him while he cried. He missed the physical contact. Not for the first time he hopes he hasn’t caused Dave to go through something like this, he was such a special person and so didn’t deserve it. Blaine almost wishes he had kept his answer no when Dave first asked him out.

Once his cab pulls up, he is on his way to the lot, and heads straight for makeup, not really in the mood to see anyone yet. While he had been sitting in the cab he does however decide he is over waiting on cabs, he is going to see if Cooper might take him today to pick out a car. He is ready.

Once he is done with hair and makeup he heads to wardrobe and almost laughs at the outfit they had picked out for him for today’s shoot. He swears they must have gone through his closet at his parent’s house where he left all his old clothes from when he graduated McKinley. He could almost swear that if they looked close they would find this outfit hanging up in his closet bowtie and all.

When he gets done with wardrobe he still hasn’t run into Cooper so he goes into Craft services and grabs a coffee and sits down. He is on his second cup when he hears Cooper and Bryce walking up behind him.

“Damn squirt, did you go home to mom and dad’s and raid your old closet” Cooper said laughing

Blaine burst out laughing too, “I swear I thought the same thing, I think this is the outfit I was wearing the day you visited McKinley and told me to stop letting my boyfriend dress me.”

“Yes, yes that is it. I can’t believe they had you wear that today” Cooper said still laughing

“I know right…” Blaine said looking at him

“I still stand by that comment. You should never have let Kurt dress you; now, we just need to figure out what wardrobe was smoking”

“And I stand by what I said then, Kurt didn’t dress me that was all on me.” Blaine said laughing before he realized what he had just said and that he hadn’t spoken a word to Bryce yet. He was just about to rectify that when he was called for his first shoot of the day. He was working with the guy who plays Adam, Alex’s ex boyfriend

Blaine stands up smiles really quickly at Bryce, and heads to the sound stage where they were filming his next part.

“So, you knew Kurt” Bryce said looking at Cooper

“Yeah I met him once, he seemed like a half way decent kind a guy I guess. He did say something I didn’t like at the time though. Blaine introduced us, he realized who I was and remembered the commercial I had done. He just stood there staring at me, then looked at Blaine and said “Blaine, your brother is the best looking man in north America.”

“I mean who does shit like that, who says something like that to their boyfriend or girlfriend about another person. I could tell Blaine was hurt but Kurt just kept standing there grinning.”

“Wow” was the only thing Bryce could say

“Exactly, this even after Blaine transferred schools to be with him. Blaine convinced our parents to let him change schools so that he could be close to Kurt, and then he pulls the shit he does, I have some very strong feelings about Blaine’s ex” Cooper said standing up and heading the way Blaine had walked with Bryce walking beside him.

“Adam, what do you think you are doing” Blaine says looking at the guy playing Adam as he reaches out and pulls him to him.

“Come on Alex, I heard you and Beau broke up, your free to see me again” Adam said before leaning in and kissing him

Blaine pushes him away “No we didn’t break up, we had a little argument yesterday, we are still very much together, and even if we weren’t that doesn’t mean I would want you to kiss me” Blaine said before turning around and walking away as the director says cut and asks them to redo the scene because something was off with the lighting.

Bryce stands there and watches Blaine redo the kissing scene three times before the director is satisfied. They walk off the set laughing, and Bryce has to admit he didn’t like it. He didn’t like seeing Blaine kiss someone else. He doesn’t know where that came from, Blaine was just doing a scene, and Bryce has never been jealous of someone before.

Bryce stands there watching as Blaine walks up to him and Cooper. “Hey Coop, can I talk to you a minute” Blaine asks and him and Cooper walk off together

“What’s up squirt”

“Listen, can you take me to look at cars today, I am wanting to take Bryce out Friday, but I don’t want to have to pick him up in a cab”

“Sure we can do that, I only have two more scenes so we can leave whenever you are done.” Cooper says with a smile. He is glad that Blaine is going to ask Bryce out, so tired of seeing his little brother hurt, he wants him to be happy again.

Blaine finishes up his last scene of the day and is about to head out when he realizes he still hasn’t talked to Bryce yet today, other than saying good morning and during the two small scenes they had together. Their characters where still having issues with their relationship they are trying to work through.

“Hey, me and Cooper are about to head out for the day, can I call you tonight?” Blaine said walking up to Bryce with a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah that would be good” Bryce said before he turns around and walks to the set, being called back for his next scene.

Blaine notices a strange look on his face, and hopes that he wasn’t regretting what they had done last night. He knows they went farther than he had intended them to at this stage in their relationship, but Bryce seemed to be just as into it as he was. He didn’t think he had pushed him. Now he is worried and wishes he had taken a few more minutes today to talk to him.

Blaine ends up buying an Audi A8 in black, he had always loved the one his parents had bought him when he turned sixteen. He missed having his own car, being able to come and go as he wanted to without having to wait for a cab to take him somewhere.

“Thanks for coming with me Coop, well for bringing me” he said with a grin “You wanna go grab dinner, my treat this time I have another favor to ask you…”

oOoOo

Today, Blaine woke up hurting, today they would have been together four years, and this was the first anniversary he was spending alone. Even between their breakups they had always been together on this date.

He didn't say anything to anyone, just went to work did his thing and left as soon as his scenes were done, not wanting to be around anyone, missing Kurt so bad it hurt. Wondering for the hundredth time if he had done the right thing, but knowing deep down he had, on days like this though it was hard to remember that.

He thought back to all the good times they had because there had been a lot, their first kiss, their first date, the first time they said I love you, the first time they had made love.  When Kurt had agreed to be his boyfriend, and then when he agreed to marry him.

He thought he would be his forever. He had been prepared for forever; now, he had to learn to live without him, move on, and see if he could create a life with someone else. But not really seeing how. How could anyone take the place of his Kurt? The person he had always loved above anyone else, and needed more than anything. Kurt had become his person, his life.

He drove himself to his apartment, when he walked in the first thing he did was put his phone in his sock drawer that way when he got drunk he wouldn't be tempted to call Kurt, because right now that was all he wanted to do, to pick up the phone and beg Kurt to take him back. He then went into the living room, grabbed the bottle of bourbon he had had Cooper buy for him, broke the seal and started drinking, feeling like crying the whole time.

How had this happened, how had they gotten to this point, when had something that had always seemed so perfect between them, gone so terribly wrong?

Before long the doubts started settling in. Had Kurt ever really loved him, why wasn't he good enough. Why had Kurt pulled away from him the first time, leaving him feeling so lost, and alone, until he had messed up. He had reached out to someone else, because he had just wanted to feel again. He had just felt so numb, so hopeless.

 He remembers when June Dolloway told him he should break off the engagement, he remembers how shocked he was, because to him Kurt was more important than any future she might have been able to offer him.

He had potentially given up an opportunity for himself, instead of letting Kurt be hurt. He had brought him up to sing at his show case even though June had pretty much told him that if he screwed her over she would leave him like drift wood.

He stumbled over to his laptop, he was going to watch the video he had saved of him and Kurt doing American boy. It had always been one of his favorites of all the duets they had done, that and “Baby its cold outside” thinking back on that he wonders again how he didn’t know then what Kurt had meant to him, wishing with everything he had that someone could have been there to record that one.

When his laptop got booted up, he was surprised by all the email notifications that kept popping up, before he knew it, he had about twenty new emails from his friends with the New Directions and even the Warblers, each one with a link to a YouTube video. Like an idiot he clicked on it, and then wished with everything he had that he hadn’t, it was labeled “Our Anniversary”.

“Blaine, I know you won’t see this, but I couldn’t let today pass without saying happy Anniversary, today, four years ago we became boyfriends, one of the best days of my life. You are and will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. I still can’t believe how badly I screwed up, losing you.”

“I still miss you so very much, and I love you just as much now as I did then. I am so sorry I pushed you away the first time that caused you to do what you did. And the last time we broke up…, I don’t even know where to begin.  I still can’t believe I did that, after everything I just let you go, I ended it, pushed you away, I will regret that for the rest of my life”

“Always know you are still my best friend, I will still be here for you, I told you I would fight for you, this is the only way I know how. I love you Blaine, more today than yesterday. I miss you, I miss us, God I can’t believe how badly I screwed everything up, and oh how bad this hurts.”

Blaine watched it three times before stumbling back over to where he had left the bottle; he poured himself another glass and downed it, before refilling his glass and doing it again.

He apparently hadn’t turn the video off and realized it only when it switch to Zedd’s Clarity, he didn’t even pay it any attention until he heard 

Hold still right before we crash
'Cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks till it breaks your glass
And I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly
Still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Blaine picked up the now half empty bottle of bourbon and throws it and watches as it smashed against the wall, liquor and glass flying everywhere and he just can’t bring himself to care, and then he is sliding down to the floor, before completely falling apart.

oOoOo

Bryce was bored; he had really expected Blaine to ask him out tonight. They had gone out together the last 2 Friday nights and Bryce assumed they would tonight as well but Blaine hadn’t asked him and he still wasn’t comfortable enough yet to ask Blaine.

Blaine had had a short schedule today; he was only in one scene. Normally on days like that he would stay on set and watch as everyone else did theirs, but today he had walked off the set and left not really saying anything to either Cooper or him, nothing.

Bryce had gone up to Cooper to ask if something was wrong and he looked as confused as Bryce was. He had no idea, Blaine hadn’t said anything, but he wasn’t acting right. So, Bryce went home, hoping when Blaine was ready he would call.

He was flipping through TV channels trying to come up with something to watch, but after scrolling through all his channels twice, he gave up. Nothing grabbed his attention so he walked up to his laptop, and decides to update his twitter feed and then he remembers something Blaine had said to him the night they had their talk, about YouTube and cheerleaders.

He quickly pulls up YouTube and then racks his brain trying to remember the name of the school he said he went to at the time, and for the life of him can’t remember, he does however remember him talking about the Dalton Academy Warblers. He types that in and then can do nothing but grin at all the videos listed

He played through everyone that showed Blaine in the thumbnail, not believing how wonderful his voice was. He watches through Raise your glass, misery, bills, bills, bills, laughs when he sees the Warblers at what can only be the Gap, watching as Blaine follows a curly head man around the store, singing When I Get You Alone, and then almost cries when he watches Somewhere only we know, seeing the look of sadness on Blaine’s face as he looks at a boy that could only have been Kurt, you could feel the love he had, and Bryce once again can’t understand how Kurt had just walked away.

That video led him to the channel where it was posted, and Bryce did cry. The name of the channel was simply titled “Somewhere Only We Know”. On this channel he saw nothing but video after video of Blaine.

The channel information said "This channel is dedicated to the one I let go, the one I pushed away, the one I hurt. Blaine I love you, always have always will. You are my best friend and I told you I would fight for you. When we broke up the first time you fought to get me back. this is my way of fighting for you.

What hurts the most, and makes him finally understand why Blaine acted the way he did today was the video that had been uploaded this morning at 8am, after Blaine would have been on set. It was simply titled Our Anniversary, he watched it. Today, if they had made it, they would have been together four years. Bryce hurts for him.

He looks through a few of the other videos that Kurt had posted on his channel, videos of them doing duets together, at what looked like a high school, and then he saw one labeled proposal. He clicked on the link and watched Blaine propose to Kurt in the most beautiful way possible, surrounded by friends. They had both looked so happy, and Blaine had looked so beyond in love.

Bryce once again wonders how someone could have just walked away from something like that, true he only had Blaine’s side of what happened, but judging from that video, they had both been very much in love. The last one he watched caught his attention because he saw one of his favorite actress’s June Dolloway. 

He watched as Blaine sang with her, and was in such awe of him, but what got his attention was when he sang American Boy with Kurt, they were amazing together.

He watched, as while they were singing, they walked out to the audience and started pulling people from the crowd, and that is when he recognizes two of them, one he had seen on billboard’s top ten Mercedes Jones, and then Rachel Berry who he had seen in a magazine, talking about her upcoming opening night performance of Fanny Brice. He knew Blaine had said he drunk kissed a Rachel Berry, but he never put two and two together to realize it was THAT Rachel Berry.

He sits back and wonders if he should show this to Blaine, let him know that Kurt was still thinking about him, and in a way fighting for him. He really doesn’t know, he was starting to really have feelings for Blaine, what if he shows him and he decides to go back with Kurt. He doesn’t really know what to do.

The decision however is taken out of his hands the following Monday morning, he hadn’t talked to Blaine at all that weekend, and was really worried about him, and he also hadn’t seen him on set yet today. He knows his first scene of the day wasn’t until after lunch, but he still figured he would come out and talk to Cooper if not to him, but he still hadn’t seen him.

He had finally found the cheerleading videos that Blaine had talked about and watched them and had brought his laptop with him today thinking that if he got bored he could just watch some more videos. He had just pulled up the one where Kurt was telling Blaine happy Anniversary ….

“What are you looking at” Blaine asked in a not so happy sounding voice from behind him

“I found this Friday and wanted to show you” Bryce said, feeling stupid for letting Blaine see it

“Oh trust me, I saw it, when I got home Friday my inbox was full of emails from my “friends” telling me to check out that fucking video, as if Friday wasn’t going to be bad enough already.”

“What my ex failed to post in his little speech was how he pushed me away when he first moved to New York, how he decided to stop answering my calls, my texts.  There was no one there recording when he blew up at me because "I could have asked his permission before deciding to make changes his home."

“He also failed to post the night he broke up with me for no fucking reason at all. Because ya know what he sure as hell wasn’t recording that shit”, no those “precious” moments were between him and me. You won’t see any of that on there.

“I can’t believe you of all people are sitting there watching that shit, after everything I told you, you know what fuck it” Blaine says walking away, leaving Bryce sitting there with his mouth hanging open. He had never seen Blaine angry before, and doesn’t even know how to begin to fix this.

oOoOo

Blaine hurt oh god he hurt, first dealing with friends sending him reminders of just how bad his life sucked, but to walk out and see Bryce watching it, was just too much. The only way he had gotten through Friday and the weekend was knowing he would see Bryce today, he would be able to hold him again. He couldn’t over the weekend, he couldn’t hold him with Kurt so heavy on his mind, but he knew he would see him here today.

But when he walked up and saw him watching that video, it had hit him all over again and he had just blown up at him.  That was why he hadn’t wanted to see him over the weekend because he knew until he had shaken off all the bad feeling he had for Kurt again, he wouldn’t be good company and would say something he wouldn’t mean and would regret it and that is exactly what he had done.

He stayed in his trailer until he was called on the set for his scene, luckily today once again none of them were with Bryce they were with Cooper, and Cooper knew Blaine well enough to know what he needed to do to push him through it. His performance was flawless, not a mistake made, when they were done Cooper pulled him into a hug before walking off the set with him, arms wrapped around him, taking him to his trailer and then holding him as Blaine fell apart

Cooper had been waiting for it since he saw Blaine blow up on Bryce, knowing that it had nothing to do with Bryce himself, but also knowing that Blaine had to let go, he had to get the anger out, hopefully he didn’t just end something, that Cooper was sure was perfect for Blaine.

Once Blaine pulls himself together Cooper drives him to his house, hands him a bottle and a glass, and sits back as Blaine tells him what had happened, what had caused the blow up, and finally asking how he could fix this.

 

I don't own glee or either of the songs mentioned in my story. This is unbeta'd so any mistakes are of my own making.  Please review, and thanks for reading.

Chapter Text

A/N:

This is still un-beta’d so as usual any mistakes are mine to claim. Thanks for the reviews I have received.

 oOoOo

Blaine only drank one glass of liquor while he was at Cooper’s, knowing he needed to apologize very badly to someone that didn’t deserve what had happened. Blaine’s feeling’s had just still been so raw, he had taken his emotions out on the wrong person, and he needed to apologize for it soon, he needed to fix it if that was even possible.

He talked to Cooper until 9:30 knowing it was late, he still needed to go talk to Bryce, to try to make up for what he had done, still not even sure where that had come from. He had never lost his head like that before, not even with Kurt. The closest thing had been when he had almost gotten into a fight with Sam in the McKinley choir room, when he had first transferred in.  He didn’t have a temper.

Blaine pulled up outside of Bryce’s apartment, thankfully he had been here a few times and the guards at the security desk in the apartment complex recognized him and just waved him on, so they didn’t have to call Bryce to have him buzzed up. He didn’t want to give him time to know he was coming up, and not want to see him. He needed to apologize and see if he could fix what he had done.

He rode the elevator to the fifth floor, got out and turned left and stood in front of 504, just standing there, not yet having built up the nerve to ring the bell. He stands there for ten minutes, before he is finally able to raise his hand and push the button. He then stands there for another ten minutes waiting to see if Bryce is going to answer. He presses the button one more time, figuring either Bryce wasn’t home, or he was standing there looking out the peep hole not wanting to see him.

He hopes that it is just he isn’t home, that he isn’t just ignoring him, not that he would blame him if he was. He slides down the wall and sits down in front of Bryce’s door the way Bryce had done the second time he had come over and Blaine hadn’t been home yet. He sets there for about thirty minutes and is about to give up and go home when he hears the elevator beep, someone was getting off on this floor.

Blaine just waited and hoped, his head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. He opens them when he hears Bryce say “Hi”

“Hi” Blaine said in a low sad voice “I was hoping I could talk to you a minute. I know it is late, and I promise I won’t stay long, I just really needed to talk to you”

Bryce stands there for a few minutes looking at him, his head tilted sideways before making his decision and opens the door, and then stands back and lets Blaine stand up and walk in. He had picked Bryce up from here for their dates before, but hadn’t been inside. He loves it; it was so Bryce he has to smile.

Bryce led him over to the couch and they both sat down, Blaine sitting on the very edge of the cushion elbows bent resting on his knees, he rests his head on his folded hands, trying to figure out where to even start. He had thought about if from the moment he had blown up at Bryce, and still hadn’t thought of a good excuse. So he just decided to tell the truth.

Blaine took a deep breath and then released it on a sigh, looking at Bryce before reaching out and grabbing his hand, and then looking him in the eyes. “I owe you an apology. From the video you saw, I guess you could tell Friday would have been our four year anniversary, and even though we had broken up once before, somehow we were always together on that day, always, this was the first year we weren’t”

“I’m not going to try to make excuses for how I acted, because there is no excuse. You didn’t deserve that, you didn’t do anything other than watch a video. I need to apologize for that. We had been doing so well, I felt we were heading towards something, building something, and I just hope you can forgive me so we can continue to move forward. I feel like we can have something special between us, I just hope you can still give me a chance.”

“I know you are probably as tired of hearing about Kurt as I am talking about him. I am going to try to make this the last time we ever talk about him again. I only want to talk about us” Blaine said quickly leaning in and kissing Bryce before he continues.

“So, Friday started off bad anyways, I knew the whole day would be off that is why when I finished my last shot of the day I left. I couldn’t be around anyone then, I needed to be alone and process everything I was feeling.”

“Last week, because I had a feeling how Friday would go, I had asked Cooper to buy me a bottle of Jack Daniels, I have never been a big drinker, I have already told you how it went the last time I got drunk, but I hoped this time it might just help me forget. I had drunk half the bottle before something happened and I threw it against the wall and smashed it into a million pieces.”

“I need you to know I am not a violent person and I don’t just lose my temper like that, to be honest, other than the two arguments me and Kurt had after we got back together and I moved in with him, we had never really fought, we had minor disagreements but no real fights. That is why when it happened, when he had exploded the way he did, I was so very unprepared.”

“That wasn’t how our relationship had been, we talked through everything, we had calm conversations, and maybe a few tears, but we never raised our voices, we had never needed to. I’m not saying we always got along, we had the normal couple spats and disagreements but never a fight, even with the first break up. We never even raised our voices; we just both cried and went our separate ways.”

“Like I was saying, when I came in from work Friday I was having a really bad time of it, I had thought of a video I wanted to see. I pulled up my laptop and ended up getting twenty email alerts from my friends from The New Directions, and the Warblers group I was in high school with. Every single one of those emails had a YouTube link to that video you were watching when I walked in.”

“To be honest I felt like I was hit in the gut, Friday was already bad enough, for each one of my friends to send me an email with that link, it was almost like everyone reminded me of how much I lost, what I had walked away from. I know how that sounds and I still stand by that decision as something I had to do for myself”

“The thing is, they all know we broke up again, but none of them, other than Rachel know why. Kurt told her when he followed her to Lima. I heard from Wes on Saturday, he was one of my friends from the Warblers. He said that he just thought it was a lovers’ quarrel and maybe if I saw the video it might help us settle things again. None of them could believe it when we broke the first time.”

“You have to understand, when me and Kurt were at Dalton, if you saw him you saw me, and vice versa. As far as everyone thought, myself included, we were perfect for each other. We were the only couple that never fought. We were the only high school romance that they just knew would make it, until we didn’t”

“Sunday, I heard from Kurt’s stepbrother Finn. He and I had become friends when I transferred to McKinley. He told me that Kurt was really having it bad, that he was crying all the time. He said he didn’t know what happened, but could I possibly try to forgive Kurt. He knew how much we loved each other.”

“So, I had Friday, a day from hell with every one of my friends reminding me just how bad my life sucked, sorry” he said quickly looking at Bryce “But then with Wes and Finn calling me it was just too much. The bad thing was that all weekend I kept just waiting for today, because today I was going to be able to see you, today I would be able to hug you again, and instead I just blow up at you.”

“It seemed like everything piled in on me, after the emails, and Wes and Finn calling me I was on edge fighting my feelings. I broke down and told Finn why we weren’t together, what had happened. The only thing I could think of to get me through the weekend was that I was going to be able to hold you again, that is what got me through this weekend looking forward to just being able to put everything behind me and just be with you, and then I saw that video and it was like it hit me all over again”.

“I am so, so sorry Bryce and I just hope you can forgive me, I can promise you that nothing like that will ever happen again, I want to try to make what we started work, I just hope this doesn’t push you away, that you can give me another chance to show you.” Blaine finally gets the courage to look at Bryce and saw that he was smiling.

“I’m sorry too Blaine, I had found that video and thought about showing you, but then was worried that if you knew he was fighting for you, you might decide to go back with him, to get back together, I should never have played it on set, I should have just watched it in my trailer, that was personal, even though it was on YouTube, it was between you and him. I should never have played it in a public area, that wasn’t fair to you.”

“I had actually brought my laptop in because I had found a lot of videos of you including the cheerleading ones you talked about and figured that would keep me occupied while you were shooting your scenes.” He said with a small smile before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Blaine’s lips

“You are forgiven, as long as you promise to never let it happen again” he said trying to make a scary face.

Blaine just smiled really big before pulling Bryce into his arms, the one thing he had looked forward to all weekend “That is a promise I will gladly make” Blaine said softly before standing up, pulling Bryce with him and back into his arms, holding him tight for a minute before kissing him once again, slowly sliding his tongue into Bryce’s mouth deepening the kiss, cupping his face in his hands, standing as close to him as he could, so enjoying the warmth from his body.

“I need to head home” he said placing another soft kiss on Bryce’s lips. “I will see you tomorrow for the production meeting, and maybe if you are interested we can spend some time together after work, so I can really make it up to you,” Blaine said kissing him again, sliding his hands down his sides and then pulling his hips closer.

“I would like that” Bryce said with a smile

Blaine reaches out and hugs him one more time before whispering “thank you for giving me another chance” in his ear

“You have nothing to thank me for, I will see you in the morning, be careful driving home” Bryce said walking him to the door.

“Night sweetheart” Blaine said leaning over to place a kiss on Bryce’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb looking him in the eyes, knowing he would never get enough of him, placing one more quick kiss on his lips, before walking out the door and heading home, feeling ten times better than he did when he walked in.

oOoOo

Blaine went home after talking to Bryce, and pulled up his laptop again, he just needed to see that video one more time before he could move on, he was so ready to move on, put everything behind him, close that chapter of his life, for good this time.

He had honestly thought he had, he liked where things were heading with Bryce, the relationship they were building. He figured seeing Kurt’s video one more time would help get him off of his mind.  What he wasn’t expecting was when YouTube pulled up; it wasn’t on Kurt’s page.

Apparently, in the mixt of his breakdown, he had created a page of his own. He had named it “What Do You Want From Me” and in the description of the page it simply said.

So what do you want from me
What do you want from me
Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out

Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up,

Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me?
What do you want from me?

The bad thing is, is that standing here now looking at it he doesn’t really know who he had posted it for Kurt or Bryce. He didn’t even remember setting up the page, recording himself playing that song on his keyboard, singing into the camera, before uploading that video. He didn’t remember any of it. The song could have been for both, but in his heart he knows, he just knows who he had been thinking of, and he wants to cry.

The one good thing he can say about his voice was that even though he was drunk you couldn’t tell it hearing him. He could see the tears that had been floating in his eyes; he could also see the sadness, the pain, wondering again when the pain would stop if ever.

He really hoped no one else saw it, that no one found this channel.  He hated that he had felt at the time a need to do it, to set this page up, to post what he posted, but he just couldn’t pull it down. Until he was able to figure things out, until he was ready to say goodbye one way or the other it would stay up.

He then made the mistake of re-watching Kurt’s video, listening to what he said, listening to the words Blaine SO wanted to hear, hearing that voice, Kurt’s beautiful voice saying “I love you” one more time, and that he was missed.  He had thought watching it again, he would be able to move on, it hit him just how wrong he was. Instead he just cried for things lost, things missed, for the love of his life.

He still loved Kurt and he knew it, he was just scared, he had been hurt twice by the person he loved most in the world, could he handle it if it happened again. He honestly didn’t think he could, this last time had almost destroyed him. But honestly, could he live without him. That was a question he needed to work out.

He watched through a lot of the videos that Kurt had posted, their old duets when he saw “Perfect” he could do nothing but stare. They had looked so in love Kurt had looked so in love. All of a sudden he has memories flashing, back, things he has almost forgotten.

The day he had convinced Kurt he was ready to go, he was meant for New York. He didn’t belong in Lima. Looking back on how that had turned out, he knows he would have still done the exact same thing, would have encouraged Kurt to take that leap, to go where they both knew he had always been meant to be. He had always wanted the best for Kurt, even when the best thing for Kurt turned out to not be him.

He laughs as he remembers singing “I’m never changing who I am” for him, doing the cups with the cheerleaders, back when he had still believed Kurt when he had said “ I’m never going to say goodbye to you ”, he had believed that they would be ok. He hadn’t technically said goodbye, he had just pulled away, and left Blaine floating and lost, feeling numb for so long he had just wanted to feel again and he had messed up

He smiles remembering when Kurt, Mercedes, Mike and himself had had coffee at the Lima Bean when they were still broken up, but were working on being friends again. He had looked at Kurt and told him “You look cute today, and I mean dirty cute” he can only laugh now because he doesn’t even know what that had meant, but he had remembered that one of the issues they had had Kurt’s senior year was that Blaine didn’t compliment him anymore. In that moment it had just felt right to say that.

He remembered the look he had seen on Kurt’s face at Scandals when he had told him he was dating someone else; only to then have to tell him that that someone was Dave.  The sadness on his face before he was able to bring his emotions under control, and act like he was happy for him, but Blaine had seen the look of devastation he tried to hide as he walked away to the bathroom, and a little part of Blaine’s heart had broken.

He might have still been a little mad at him, still might have been hurt by what had happened, by what he had done, but Blaine still loved him, that hadn’t changed and the thought of him hurting had hurt Blaine more than he would have ever admitted, to anyone, even himself.

He then thought back to when they had been stuck in the elevator when Sue had tried to “ help ” them get back together, when the stupid Sue doll had come back in riding a tricycle Blaine’s first instinct had been to jump up in front of Kurt, he had always wanted to protect him, always needed to make sure he was safe.

He had finally slid further down the wall, realizing there was no reason to protect him anymore Kurt didn’t need or want him too.  He didn’t need anything from Blaine now. That thought had hurt, and if he was being perfectly honest it still did. He didn’t know if he wanted to be in a world where his Kurt no longer needed him.

Another memory had him standing up and heading into his bedroom, he pulls out a box from the top shelf of his closet that he had brought with him from Westerville. It was all the stuff he still had from his senior year at McKinley all his old memories, there, on the bottom of the box was his scrapbook. The one he had started putting together when he and Kurt had become a couple.

 He carries it into the living room and sits down with it on the couch.  He had never shared it with anyone, no one but him had ever seen it. He remembers when he had come home from New York after telling Kurt what he had done, that he had been with someone else, he had put in a napkin from CallBacks where he sang his song that had made Kurt realize there was something wrong.

He had the receipt from the valentine’s day they had spent together; he had bought Kurt a coffee and a cupid cookie that they had shared at the Lima Bean.  Remembering how shocked Kurt had been that he remembered his coffee order. He had put it into his wallet and kept it unlike every other receipt he had thrown away, he had held on to that one for some reason.

On the next page was the first note they had ever passed during one of their many classes they had together at Dalton, rereading it with a smile. Remembering the beginning stages of their relationship sometimes wishing they could just go back.

In the book are also some of their pictures, them at both proms, them on their first official date as boyfriends. A copy of the black and white picture he had left at the loft in New York. A picture of them standing side by side, Kurt in his cap and gown and Blaine standing beside him looking so proud.

A picture that had been taken of him and Kurt when he had said yes. Sam had managed to snap a picture of him sliding the ring on Kurt’s finger. He still had some of the rose petals in his hair that had drifted down from above them.

He had put in a playbill from grease. Even though he had, had a small part, Kurt had shown up, he had been there. Not for him per se' for every one of his friends, but he was there.

He had put in it the receipt where he had bought Kurt his engagement ring. Remembering back, thinking about how happy he had been then, and putting in that receipt only after Kurt had said yes, it makes him wonder what Kurt did with the ring when he broke up with him.

Did he keep it or throw it away. The thought of that makes him sad, yes they were no longer engaged or even a couple, but that ring had meant something, stood for something important, even if only to him.

The last thing he had ever put in that scrapbook was the receipt from the Strand , the motel he had stayed at the night Kurt had broken up with him, that and his ticket home from New York after Kurt had ended them.

After that there had been nothing else to put in it. There was no longer a Kurt and Blaine to keep memories of; there was nothing left to save.

He quietly closes the book, stands up and carries it back to his room, once again putting it in the bottom of that box and putting everything else on top of it, then putting it back on the top shelf of his closet, closing the closet door and walking away.

Before he realized it was midnight, and he had to be at the lot in the morning at 4:30 for a pre production meeting, wondering what this one was about. Normally those were scheduled on Fridays. Even though he knew he should be going to bed he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. His feelings were still so raw again.

He pulls his keyboard out again, sets up his camera one more time before posting one more video to his channel. Words floating through his head that he had to get out if he had even a prayer of sleeping at all. Hearing the song “Say Something” by A Great Big World, and Christina Aguilera. In a way saying goodbye.

And I
Will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I
Will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

By the time he finished the song he had tears running down his face, but he felt better. He felt like he was ready to try to move on. He was going to concentrate on him and Bryce, on trying to build a relationship with him. Yes, he knew he still very much loved Kurt, but just like that scrapbook, he needed to close that book again, put it back on the shelf where it belonged. No more memories to add to it, nothing left to save.

People in love broke up, moved on, and found someone new. He knew what he needed to do, he did, but why did it have to hurt so very much.

Before heading to bed he set his computer to upload his video, the last one he will post, and then went to bed to sleep for three hours. Ready to close out that chapter and move on.

A/N Two: I don’t own the writes to the songs in this chapter they belong to Adam Lambert and Pink for "Whataya Want From Me", and A Great Big World,and  Christina Aguilera for "Say Something" (if you have never heard this song before check it out on YouTube, it is beautiful). I just really love both of them



Chapter Text

 

Blaine’s alarm went off at 3:45a and it feels like he just got to sleep. He gets up and heads to the shower to get ready for his day. Looking in the mirror he can see slight dark circles under his eyes, the makeup women were going to have a field day with him. They had themselves convinced that he had some wild nightlife. He has to laugh, because most of the time he is in his apartment at 9, studying lines for the next day.

He remembers that he has a date with Bryce tonight and can’t help but smile, glad that they had worked everything out last night even though he got very little sleep, not that that was Bryce’s fault; he just had to watch that video and then post his own. He had to let go and he feels a little more certain he can now. He still loves Kurt and knows he always will, but he hopes he can build something with Bryce start letting go.

He gets to the lot right at 4:15 and Cooper is already there sitting in the chair talking. He looks up, sees the dark circles under Blaine’s eyes and just smiles real big

“Late night again squirt?” he laughed raising his eyebrows up and down before getting out of the chair letting Blaine sit down.

“Huuumm wouldn’t you like to know” Blaine said batting his eyes, giving Cooper a dreamy look before sighing.

“Wouldn’t he like to know what” Bryce asked walking up to Blaine giving him a kiss

Blaine tried his best not to jump back but he did pull away slightly. He closed his eyes so that the makeup lady could put concealer under his eyes to cover the dark circles, missing the hurt look Bryce gave him, not noticing when he turned around and walked out the door, deciding to go straight to wardrobe.

“Squirt, are you ok” Cooper ask him

“Yeah why” Blaine answers not opening his eyes

“You just pulled away from Bryce, is something going on, did he do something wrong” Cooper said looking at him concerned.

Shit … No, can I talk to you when we get out of here” Blaine said not wanting to have this conversation around other people.

When they left makeup before heading to wardrobe Blaine pulled Cooper to an empty conference room so they can talk.

“Ok Blaine seriously what happened because I think you really hurt Bryce’s feeling, he kissed you and you pulled away from him. Are you mad or upset with him” Cooper asked looking concerned.

“Man….. It’s nothing like that. How do I even say this, explain this? Ok, when you lived in Ohio you were fine, you were straight you could hold hands, hug and kiss someone and not have to worry about it. Things were different for me. Look what happened after that dance, and that was just two friends going together to a school function. We didn’t do anything but dance and we both got attacked. Can you imagine if we had been seen doing anything else.”

“Kurt got attacked daily at school for being gay. He was slammed into lockers, thrown in a dumpster, and had food and slushies thrown at him so much he had to keep extra clothes in his locker so he would have something to change into, and right before he transferred to Dalton, his life was threatened”

“When things like that happen I makes it harder to be open about things, yes, I am out and I am proud, I am not hiding who I am, or what I am, but I learned the hard way how to act in a public place. Some things I just prefer to keep private.” Blaine said sitting down in one of the conference chairs, leaning his head back.

For someone who had never experienced homophobia, it is hard to make them understand. How even though you wanted to hold the hand of your partner, you wanted to just lean in and kiss them, hold them whenever you wanted to, the way hetero couples can, you learn quickly it isn’t safe. Even though people are more accepting now than when he was in school it was still scary, when you live through that, you learn it is just better to keep it private.

He and Kurt had never been demonstrative in public even in New York where it was so much more accepted, thinking back to the day Kurt ended up in the hospital beaten up for being gay and trying to help someone else.

It still brings a tear to his eyes, remembering how bad he had looked, still remembering the worst call he had ever gotten, the night the hospital called to let him know Kurt had been brought in badly beaten, having to then call Burt and let him know what happened. Until someone lived through something like that they couldn’t understand.

“I knew about the dance, what happened to you, I didn’t know what Kurt went through. I’m sorry Blaine. I’m sorry it has been so hard for you just to be able to be who you are and love who you want. I think though you need to explain this to Bryce, you need to make him understand why you feel like you do” Cooper said before pulling Blaine out of his chair and giving him a hug. “I love you little brother”.

“Thanks, love you too. I know I need to talk to him. Do you think I will ever go a day where I don’t screw something up with him” Blaine said softly heading to wardrobe to get ready for today’s shoots and the production meeting.

When he walks on set where everyone was standing around waiting for the producer and director to come in, he looked around and didn’t see Bryce anywhere, when he finally walked in he went and stood with Ali Roth instead of coming over to him. He also noticed how Bryce refused to look at him. Shit he had messed up again.

“Ok I want to thank everyone for being here early, we have some exciting news. We heard from the network and we have a time slot set for “South of Always” the pilot will air this Friday at 9. We will wrap our sixth episode tomorrow. So after tomorrow everyone will have a month off, and then if the pilot goes as good as we hope it will, we will be back in here shooting again.

“I want to thank everyone for the wonderful work you have been doing, and plan on being back on set and ready to go in a month. You will receive an email letting you know when and what time you are needed back on set. Enjoy your vacation, rest up and be ready to come back and kick ass”

“We will have a public screening Friday at The Rose theater, a small event that we hope you will all be able to attend, with a production party after, so get your tux’s and fancy dresses out, and have fun.”

“What does all that mean” Blaine asked Cooper looking confused

“This is normal, anytime they start a new series they film anywhere for six to seven episodes and a pilot. The network decides when the pilot will air and the time slot it will be given. 9 on a Friday night is great, that means they believe in it. So Friday it will air and depending on audience response they will either air the shows already filmed or decide to renew for the rest of the season” Cooper said not even looking nervous, this was nothing new for him so that made Blaine feel better.

“Well, I think I need to once again go have a talk with Bryce, am I ever going to get this right? Blaine said with a sigh, walking away though he had to wonder why this had to be so hard; with Kurt it had always been so easy.

“Bryce, can I talk to you a minute” he asked after waiting for Bryce and Ali to stop talking.  When Bryce nodded his head yes Blaine started to walk towards his trailer with Bryce following him wanting somewhere private for this conversation. He opened the door and stood back to let him in. Once he shuts the door he reaches down to hold Bryce’s hand and guide him over to the small couch that had been put in for him.

Once Bryce sat down he looked at Blaine with his big brown eyes looking so sad, it hurt Blaine to look at him “Do I embarrass you, are you embarrassed to let people know we date” Bryce whispered

“No sweetie no. That is why I brought you in here I wanted to talk to you for a minute” Blaine said before reaching out his hand and cupping Bryce’s cheek pulling him towards him and giving him the kiss he wanted to since this morning.

“I need to tell you a story” Blaine said looking over at Bryce hoping to make him understand what happened. “As you know, I was born and grew up in Westerville Ohio, when I was sixteen I went to Carson High school. I loved it there; I had a lot of good friends. That year I had decided to come out. I had already told my parents and Cooper, they were shocked and confused, and I just knew I had lost them”

“I sat on that couch waiting for yelling, screaming, and cussing from my dad and tears from my mom. They sat there quiet not saying anything for a few minutes that felt more like hours. They finally looked at each other and then at me and let me know that no matter what they loved me, it didn’t change anything”.

“My dad did however take me out to the garage to help him rebuild a 59’ Chevy that summer; he wanted to bond with me and didn’t really know how. That turned out to be my birthday present that year from him, that and my Audi” Blaine said with a soft smile thinking back on that memory and loving his dad more.

“But anyway, I decided to come out at school that year, like I said I had a lot of good friends and I felt comfortable. They all seemed to be ok with it, well, everyone but my best friend at the time Ben. He never talked to me again. I was hurt more than you will ever know; he was the one person I just knew would be there for me.”

“ I was one of the only openly gay people at school, that year this guy named Shawn transferred in, he was gay and we became friends fast, it never became more than friendship for either of us, but it was nice to have someone to talk to, to confide in you know.”

“That year they had decided to have a Sadie Hawkins dance, I asked Shawn to go with me, he agreed we went as friends and we had a blast. I had more fun that night than I ever had, just hanging out with him and my other friends. It wasn’t until we were leaving that problems started, while we were waiting for his dad to come pick us up we were jumped and beaten up, Shawn worse than me”

“The worst part was the main person kicking and stomping us was Ben, with every stomp and kick we were called fag or fairy. They just kept kicking us until someone came out and ran them off. We were both taken to the hospital; I ended up with contusions all over my face, a broken wrist and several ribs. Shawn was worse; he ended up with a skull fracture, a broken arm and leg that required surgery. He never talked to me again after that”

“My parents transferred me to Dalton Academy; they had a zero tolerance anti bullying policy. It was a boarding school but since I lived so close I still went home after school every day. I loved it there, it was safe. I tried out for the Warblers and became their lead soloist.”

“Now even though I said we wouldn’t talk about Kurt anymore, I need to add him to this story, because he has a part in it as well” Blaine said taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh.

“Kurt was the only openly gay kid at his school; he was thrown into a dumpster almost every day for a year by two of the guys on his school’s football team. One of whom two years later became his step brother and one of my good friends Finn.”

“Once they had stopped doing that Kurt’s life got a little easier until the beginning of his junior year, a new jock transferred into school and life became even worse for Kurt. He was pushed into lockers, what they called a locker check at McKinley. He ended up with bruises all over his arms and back, but wouldn’t tell his dad because the year before his dad had had a massive heart attack and he was afraid if he said anything then it would cause his dad to get sick again so he just took it”

“When he wasn’t getting locker checks, he was getting slushies thrown in his face. He had to keep several changes of clothes in his locker. I thought the names I was called at Conner were bad, but they were nothing like the ones Kurt had to hear.”

“The day after I met him, he called me crying, he had finally had enough of the jerk harassing him, it would seem he had been thrown into the locker four different times that day, he followed him into the boy’s locker room and confronted him, asking him what his problem was. The guy kissed him. It would seem that he was gay and didn’t know how to express himself. The next day he threatened Kurt’s life if he said anything. The next week Kurt transferred to Dalton, he finally had to tell his dad what was going on”

“And yes the guy who did it did become my boyfriend for a while when I moved back to Westerville. He had changed, he realized what he had done and had apologized for it. Ok my story is almost done” Blaine said looking at Bryce hoping he will understand

“When I moved to New York, me and Kurt were able to be a little freer, we still didn’t go around kissing in public or anything like that, but I would occasionally hold his hand or put my hand on his back as we walked somewhere.”

“One night I got a call from the local hospital. Kurt had been brought in beaten up bad by some guys because he was gay. He was in the hospital for 3 days. Come to find out he had tried to help someone else out who was getting beaten up at the time.”

“When you grow up in a homophobic place like Ohio you learn to keep things private especially after what the two of us went through. Then we were in a big city like New York, that was supposed to be so diverse, we could be safe there, but that night we learned that when you are gay and out there wasn’t really any where safe”

“I know things are different in California, I know they are, and I am trying I really am. I didn’t mean to pull away from you, I am definitely not embarrassed to be seen with you, be with you at all, and it’s just going to take me time.” Blaine said wrapping his arms around Bryce and resting his head on his shoulder.

“I know you are probably tired of hearing me say I am sorry but I am. Can you give me one more second chance” he asked and then he felt Bryce rub his hand up his back and up to his head kissing him softly.

“I would be happy too. Now that I know why, I understand. I will try to give you space when we are in public, but all bets are off when we are somewhere private” Bryce said before leaning in and kissing Blaine with everything he had. He had just reached up to unbutton Blaine’s shirt when there was a knock on the door letting them know they were needed on set.

“Rain check tonight” Blaine asked standing up straighten his clothes and adjust himself. Bryce had managed to get him so hard with just that one kiss. This was going to be a long day.

oOoOo

Blaine had just finished one of his scenes with Cooper when he heard his name screamed, he turned around just in time to have one Rachel Berry slam into him giving him a hug.

“What are you doing here” Blaine asked her laughing, hugging her back and placing a kiss on her cheek smiling from ear to ear.

“I had an interview next door and heard that one of my old school friends was in this studio filming a show. Why didn’t you let any of us know Blaine, this is awesome” She said before pulling him back into a hug.

“It just happened really quick, Cooper got me an audition and it just went from there, our pilot actually airs this Friday at 9” He said grinning at her. He had so missed her

“Oh wow” she said looking at him. She linked her arm through his and walked away from everyone wanting to talk to him a minute in private.

“So, how are you doing really? I have been so worried about you. You just disappeared. One day you were with the Warblers and the next you were gone. Are you ok?” she asked concerned

“I’m getting there Rach, but it has been rough. I had to get away, we were just always running into each other, and it hurt to see him and not be with him anymore. I had to leave. It was killing me” Blaine whispered hurting so bad thinking about HIM again.

“He is the same way you are Blaine. He won’t talk to anyone, he doesn’t go anywhere. Once we went back to school, he stopped doing anything. He stopped working with Elliott and the band, he concentrates only on school. He is miserable too. Don’t you think there is any way you guys can work this out? We all have always known you two belong together; if anyone does it is the two of you.” she said sadly

“Rach I still love him as much now as I ever have, but this last breakup shook me to my core, it was out of the blue, so unexpected. I thought we were fine and then we were over. I don’t think I could handle that again, I really don’t” he said with a small tear running down his cheek

“So, how long are you in town for” Blaine asks her trying to once again get Kurt off of his mind again, shake the feelings the conversation had brought on

“I am on a flight in an hour, I just wanted to come over and talk to you. I won’t mention anything anymore, but is it ok if I let him know I saw you. You are my friend to Blaine so if you don’t want him to know, I won’t say anything.”

Blaine looked up and noticed Bryce looking at him with a concerned look on his face talking to Cooper.

“Yeah, it is ok if you tell him” He said looking at her a minute “Can you do me a favor and just tell him hi, and I hope he is ok” He said knowing he really shouldn’t

“I can do that” she said looking at him with a sad smile

“Come on I want to introduce you to someone” he said reaching down for her hand and walking over to Bryce and Cooper

“Rachel I know you remember Cooper” he said with a smile, she could only smile and laugh, “I would like to introduce you to my friend Bryce Mitchell, he plays my boyfriend on the show”

Rachel looked at him and then at Blaine and grinned. She couldn’t help it, because even though Kurt was still her best friend, Blaine was her friend as well, and he deserved to be happy, even if that wasn’t with Kurt.

“Hi Bryce, nice to meet you” Rachel said moving forward and shaking his hand

Bryce just looked at her and grinned so this is the drunk kiss Rachel Berry he shook her hand, Rachel must have seen the grin

“Oh god Blaine what did you tell him” She said laughing “We were both drunk off of our asses” she said looking at Bryce.

Bryce just laughs liking her instantly “That is what he said”

“Did he tell you how very wrong it was, oh god if you could have seen every bodies faces at that party, how shocked they all looked, especially Kurt” she laughed before she realized what she said covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh god Blaine I am so sorry. You know I don’t always think before I talk”

“It’s ok Rach, no harm done” he says hugging her and kissing her on the cheek

“Ok, I need to head out, call me Blaine my number hasn’t changed, well no one in glee has” she said looking at him so he would know what she meant “Don’t forget you have friends that love and miss you ok” she said before hugging him again

“Love you Rach, I won’t forget to call again, be careful heading home and tell Finn hi for me” he said looking at her hoping she knew what he meant

“Oh I will. Love you” she said with a wink before walking away

“And that was the spitfire known as Rachel Berry” Blaine said laughing he had so missed her, and loved how she had let him know that Kurt hadn’t changed his number. That was a number he had memorized after the hundreds of times he had called it over the years, glad that he did still have a way of contacting him should he ever be ready, and that Kurt hadn’t changed it.

oOoOo

After they finished on set that day, Blaine arranged to pick Bryce up at his apartment at 6pm for their date. He wanted to go home and take a shower, he always liked to remove the makeup they put on his face before doing anything else. He took time dressing and fixing his hair, he had something special he wanted to ask Bryce tonight.

When Blaine walked up to Bryce’s door, he could hardly wait to pick him up, excited to get to spend more time with him. When he rang Bryce’s door bell, it was answered almost immediately, before he even knew what was happening he was being pulled into the apartment by his tie, the door was shut and he was soon being pushed back against it.

“I need you so bad right Blaine” Bryce said before kissing Blaine, pushing him harder into the door thrusting his hips into him getting him hard in seconds before he reached down, grabbed his hand and lead him to the bedroom. “I’m glad you decided to wear a suit for me tonight baby, but damn Blaine you have on way to many clothes that need to come off NOW

Blaine loved it, loved that Bryce was taking charge. He reached up and took Blaine’s coat off,  untied his tie, unbuttoned his shirt setting them all on the chair beside his bed and then starts kissing him again sliding his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, kissing his neck, biting gently on his shoulder, before kissing back up his neck to just under Blaine’s ear, kissing and biting him gently leaving a mark for all the world to see, letting everybody know that Blaine was his, not knowing how Blaine would feel about that but not really caring in the moment, then was attaching his mouth again.

 He reached down between them, and unbuckles Blaine’s belt, and then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, sliding them and his boxers down over his ass squeezing it as the pants fell to the ground forgotten pulling his hips closer, grinding into him.

Bryce knows he should have given Blaine time to come in the door before attaching him, he just needed him so bad he couldn’t wait, but also after that comment Rachel had made about how “nobody in glee has changed their number” he knows she is talking about Kurt, so Bryce wants to take Blaine’s mind off of all things Kurt, remind him of what they had, what they were building together and that he was right there ready for him.

Once Bryce has Blaine stripped down, he really didn’t know what he was supposed to do next, but Blaine soon took over quickly stripping Bryce of his clothes, pushing him down on the bed before climbing on top of him, straddling his hips. He bends down and kisses him deep and hard and slowly starts thrusting his hips forward, loving the connection, skin on skin hard and aching chasing his release. He is soon thrusting faster and harder as he feels Bryce’s nail scratch his back, and bucking his hips up meeting him thrust for thrust, calling Blaine’s name

Blaine had been so turned on he didn’t even take time to look at Bryce thoroughly he just started thrusting down, Bryce’s moans turning him on more as he starts moving faster, pressing down harder, loving the friction, before he knows it he feels Bryce stiffen and then he feels the warm cum on his stomach between them. He speeds up his thrust even more, almost frantic and before long Blaine is coming as well, kissing him the whole time.

Blaine catches his breath kisses him again, and then rolls off of him onto his side pulling Bryce with him, so that his head was lying on Blaine’s arm, placing little kisses all over his face.

“Not that I mind at all, but what brought that on” Blaine says continuing to place little kisses down Bryce’s neck, softly biting him on the shoulder.

“It has been a while since we did anything, and I have turned on since we got interrupted in your trailer, you said rain check tonight and it just started pouring when you walked in the door.

Blaine didn’t care, enjoying having him back in his arms after the week he has had. “Well, let it rain sweetheart, let it rain” Blaine said before leaning over and kissing him again, slowly taking his time now.

“Sorry to do this but we have a reservation at 7:30, we might need to get cleaned up,” Blaine said kissing him again before swinging his legs off of the side of the bed turning around and looking at Bryce and it hits him just how gorgeous he was. So tanned, and built he could happily stand there just looking at him, almost wishing he hadn’t made other plans for them tonight.

 “Let’s go get in the shower” Blaine said before kissing his sweet lips and then follows him into the bathroom. When Bryce bends down to turn on the water Blaine gets hard all over again staring at that toned naked ass.

He follows him into the shower grabs Bryce’s body wash and slicks up his hand and starts washing Bryce before pushing him against the wall of the shower, noticing that Bryce is hard again, he slowly rocks his hips against his so that they connect again the soap working as lube.

Blaine reaches for Bryce’s ass pulling his hips closer, running his finger down the crack of Bryce’s ass to his puckered hole gently inserting one of his fingertips, which seems to turn Bryce on even more because he pushes into Blaine harder moaning his name, making Blaine so want to just flip him around and sink into him right there in the shower, just wanting him so bad.  But he deserves so much better for their first time.

He feels Bryce start thrusting against him faster Blaine quickly pushes him harder into the wall lifting him up so that Bryce can wrap is legs around Blaine’s waist, popping his hips faster and soon he feels Bryce dig his fingernails in his back, as he cums between them again, yelling Blaine’s name.

Blaine starts rocking his hips faster harder, needing it so bad, chasing his own orgasm, and then Bryce bites down on his shoulder and it was all over Blaine was cumming harder than before “Damn Blaine” he heard Bryce whisper against ear. Letting his legs slid back down so he was standing. “Every time with you just gets better”.

They were late for their reservation, but it was so worth it.

oOoOo

 

“Ok, how many girlfriends have you had” Blaine asked looking at Bryce across a candlelit table. He had requested one as secluded as possible, so they could have a little privacy for their meal.

Bryce looks at him a minute before answering, “I have dated several, but I have only really had two that were serious. Jennifer and Shey. Jennifer I met right before I went into acting, she was at that last school I attended. Once I started acting I was either home schooled or had a tutor on set to help with schooling, we were together until I was 16, and then the separation and pressure got to her and we broke up.”

“Right as I turned 17 I started dating Shey. We met on the set of “Bridget’s Glory” she was an actress too, so we ended up sharing the same tutor for our senior year. I fell head over heels in love with her.”

“We were always together, we never even fought. Just one day she was there, loving me, telling me I was her everything, and the next day she was breaking up with me, telling me we weren’t working. She needed something more, and then the next thing I know, she is moving to London, and I never heard from her again. That was twelve months ago”

“Oh Bryce I am so sorry” Blaine said reaching out grabbing his hand, trying to offer comfort.

“The sad part was that she always said I was her family. She had been raised in the foster care system. She never knew who her dad was, and her mom died when she was 3. She hung out at my house all the time. She loved my parents, and they loved her. I even asked her to marry me 3 weeks before she moved and she had accepted. That is what shocked me by her leaving the most.” Bryce said closing his eyes and Blaine could tell he was trying not to cry.

“I wish I could say something to make you feel better” Blaine said rubbing his thumb across Bryce’s knuckles

Bryce just gives him a smile, takes a deep breath “Ok, happy thoughts only tonight, we are having an amazing time together no time for exes” he said and Blaine can tell he is really trying hard to shake the sadness he knows has settled in.

“Ok, craziest thing you ever did in high school,” Bryce said looking at him. Blaine tries to think about something to make him laugh.

“Ok, senior year  for some reasons I don't want to talk about I joined about 20 different clubs one of them was a super hero’s club. I became Nightbird. I even had a costume designed. It was hilarious. My junior year our glee club had gone to nationals and had won. We had this massive trophy.”

“Well the Warblers, the group I used to be with got it into their heads that since I didn’t really have any good reason for staying at McKinley since me and Kurt had broken up decided that I should transfer back to Dalton, that way I could help them win National.”

“They snuck into our choir room and stole our trophy, and sent us a message that they would give it back only after I transferred back. Me and my friend Sam who was the Chameleon, dressed up in our costumes, snuck into Dalton and stole it back. It was hilarious” Blaine said laughing not even realizing he had said Kurt’s name but Bryce had, and really started hating that name.

“Ok what about you what was the craziest thing you did” Blaine said smiling at him

“Well, I didn’t really go to school since I was usually on set somewhere, but I remember that one day on the set, me and Shey got into our heads we were too old for school. We were both 17; we still had roughly three month before we would be able to take the national tests needed for graduation.”

“Our tutor sometimes would come on set a little tipsy and would usually fall asleep about an hour after being there. I remember this day, me and Shey only really had two scenes that we were in so we dug through our tutor’s purse, took her keys and we had the brilliant idea to drive her car and go for a joy ride.”

“Neither one of us had a license, neither of us had any money on us, all mine went straight into the account my parents controlled. We drove around for about thirty minutes and ran out of gas. We had to walk back to the studio. Even though the guards knew who we were they wouldn’t let us back on the lot, instead they called the head of the studio, who came down to the gate and chewed us out, saying that if we ever did that again we would never work in the business again.”

“We did it again the next week. Shey was fearless and talked me into doing things I never would have on my own”

“Ok you again, did you have in crushes” Bryce said looking at him

Blaine just looks at him turning red, in the back of his mind he was saying Kurt, but knowing he needed to stop talking about him, thinking about him. Bryce sees him turn red, and figures this was going to be a good story, and he was oh so right.

“Ok, when I was in my sophomore year in high school I got it into my mind that this guy Jeremiah like me. We had coffee a few times and before I knew it, I was in love. I got the Warblers to agree to help me serenade him at work. He was the assistant manager at the gap. I followed him around singing to him. He kept trying to move away from me and I just followed him. Come to find out he didn’t like me like that, and on top of that, he got fired” Blaine said even redder

 “Oh god that is what that video was from” Bryce said laughing.

“What video” Blaine asked looking at him

“Someone posted a video of you at the Gap singing when I get you alone to some blond, following him around the store” Bryce said laughing until he saw how red Blaine had gotten and how he laid his head down on the table shaking his head.

“I’m gonna kill Wes” Blaine whispered

“Oh my poor baby, I am sorry” Bryce said picking up Blaine’s hand and pressing it up to lips placing a kiss on it, without even thinking about it.

Blaine looked up into Bryce’s eyes, and then broke one of his own rules; he leaned across the table and kissed him gently. “Well you spend the night with me” he whispered reaching out his hand to rub his thumb up and down Bryce’s cheek, just wanting to touch him.

Bryce just looks at him for a few minutes before shaking his head “I would love to” he whispers back and then they stand up and leave the restaurant.

When the get to Blaine’s apartment, he holds Bryce’s hand as they walked in. Trying to be more open for Bryce. Wanting to let him see that he isn’t embarrassed to be seen with him. When they get to Blaine’s apartment he walks over to the couch so they can sit down and talk. He has a question he has wanted to ask him all night.

Blaine sits down so they are facing each other, “I have something I wanted to talk to you about all day” Blaine said looking at Bryce noticing the way he all of a sudden looked nervous about what this talk was going to be about.

Blaine took a deep breath to try to control his own nerves. It had been so long since he had asked anyone this question. Kurt being the last, because even though he and Dave had technically been boyfriends, neither one of them had actually asked the question, it kind of just happened.

“I feel like over the last month you and I have become really close, we have so much in common and I love spending time with you. I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in being my boyfriend” he asked “I know we really haven’t known each other that long, but I like where our relationship is going, and I would like to see where it will lead us.” Blaine started feeling better when he saw the grin spread across Bryce’s face

“Before you say yes, if you are going to that is” Blaine continued laughing, “You should know that I am a cuddle whore, and I love to snug…

He got no farther because all of a sudden his arms were filled with Bryce who was kissing him all over his face, punctuating every kiss with a yes, yes, yes. Before long Blaine could do nothing but laugh, happier than he had been in a long time, no this isn’t where he thought his life would be just twelve months ago, but he knows he can be happy ... will be happy

 

Chapter Text

 

Blaine woke up to an empty bed again. He had reached out to pull Bryce to him wanting to get his cuddles on. But he couldn’t feel him so he reached further across the bed just assuming he had rolled away in his sleep, but the bed was empty, and once again the sheets and blankets had been pulled up, the pillows put back in place like no one had been there at all. He really needs to have a talk with Bryce about that soon.

Blaine got up and got in the shower, glad this would be his last early day for a while, looking forward to a month off, being able to sleep in. He seriously wanders, that if the show is picked up for the rest of the season, and then for another, if he would be interested in signing for the second season or not. He had liked working on set, doing what he was doing, but it really wasn’t him.

Putting up the two videos he had reminded him how much he had always loved music, playing the piano and singing. He had really missed that. Yes he had enjoyed his time on South of Always, but mainly because of Cooper and Bryce, he really didn’t know if he wanted that to be his true profession.

He might decide to go back to school, maybe UCLA for their music program, or maybe in photography/filmography. Possibly stay in the business but behind the camera instead of in front of it. He might have to check with his manager to see what that would entail. He had always loved taking pictures, remembering all his vintage camera’s he still had at his parents’ house.

Blaine got dressed sat on his bed to put on his shoes, when he went to tie his sneakers the string broke. He quickly reached for the other pair he had in the back of his closet. The ones he never wore, but couldn’t get rid of. Kurt and him had bought an identical pair, right before Kurt moved to New York, and Blaine started his senior year. He should have thrown them away a long time ago but just couldn’t.

He remembered they had spent the whole day together, exploring the mall in Westerville because it was bigger than the one in Lima. It had been a good day. Seeing those shoes, no matter how stupid it might be, reminded him of that day. Remembering how happy he had been back then, just to spend the day with Kurt. That had always been one of his favorite things to do, and one of the things he had always missed the most.

He went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee, something he didn’t normally do during the week because he had to be at the lot so early, but he was running early and he had a few extra minutes. He poured himself a cup in his travel mug. Put the lid on and started heading to the door, taking a sip as he walked, only to realize too late that he hadn’t gotten the lid on good so he spilt hot coffee down the front of his shirt.

He quickly pulls it over his head and ran into the bathroom, grabbing a washrag, soaking it with cold water before he wiped off his chest. It was already turning red. He went back to his closet and grabbed the first t-shirt he could find, pulled it over his head, and then heads to the door, coffee now forgotten.

For the first time since starting on the show he was now running late, which he hated. When he says he will be somewhere at a certain time it was important for him to be there. He pulls into his normal spot and heads to make up.

After makeup he makes his way to wardrobe and then because he still has 10 minutes before he is do on set, he went to his trailer, he needed to be alone for a few minutes to clear his head, get rid of the memories flooding his brain. Missing someone he shouldn’t miss since he now had a boyfriend.

When he got the call he was due on set, he went to where they would be filming today, head just a little clearer, but still feeling the frustration from earlier this morning. The first thing he noticed when he got there was that Bryce looked upset. Blaine walked up to him, and could tell he had been crying.

“Sweetheart, what is wrong” Blaine said leading him away from everyone so he could pull him into his arms

“It’s nothing” he said pulling away

“Bryce sweetheart you don’t cry for nothing, what happened” Blaine said looking at him concerned.

“Me and my dad had a blow up this morning. He was upset that his check was late, so he called me and reamed me out about it.” He said turning his back to Blaine

“What check” Blaine asked confused

“When I first started working at 14 my salary was deposited into my parents account. It was supposed to be used for what I needed, but half the time there was never any money when I did need something. There was always new cars “that they needed to get me back and forth to the studio” or a new house. They blew through money like crazy, what they spent it on half the time I don’t know”

“When I turned 18 I started having my checks deposited in my own account and would just send them money. But this month I got busy and forgot to send it. I mailed it 3 days ago, but they haven’t gotten it yet. He was pissed” Bryce said looking at Blaine embarrassed.

“Do you owe them money or something” Blaine asked not really understanding

“No, they just depend on me for their income, they didn’t work when I was younger because they said they needed to be available if I needed to go somewhere, and by the time I was 18 they had been so long without a job they didn’t really qualify for anything, so I send them nine thousand a month.”

“Normally I send it on the first of the month but I was busy and didn’t get it sent as normal” he said still not looking at Blaine

“You send them nine thousand dollars?” Blaine said in shock not believing he heard correctly

“I know, all my friends tell me I am crazy, but they are my parents and they took care of me when I was younger and now it is time for me to help take care of them.”

Blaine so wants to say no, they didn’t take care of you, they took care of themselves and they still were, but it was none of his business, he just hated his boyfriend being so upset. He walked over to him and pulled him back into his arms and just held him until he felt the tension leave his shoulders.

“Come on sweetheart let's go knock today out and then we can go do something after work Ok” Blaine said before placing a soft kiss on his lips. Once again putting off the conversation he needed to have with him.

“I can handle that” Bryce said with a small smile before kissing him back

When they finish their last scene of the day, the director reminded them of the pilot Friday, and that he was hoping to see everyone there. Blaine went over and told Cooper that they were leaving and he would talk to him later. They stop by their trailers to change back into their street clothes and so Blaine could remove his makeup that way he wouldn’t have to go home before taking Bryce out.

When he got to Bryce’s trailer he noticed he was wearing a very old, very faded shirt. Something Blaine had never seen him in. Bryce always took time with his looks, with what he wore that shirt was so completely out of character for him.

“Can we stop by my apartment so I can change really quick, sorry about my shirt, I always put it on whenever I get stressed or upset. I don’t want to upset you, but Shey bought it for me on my last birthday before she left. It has always managed to help calm me down.” Bryce said looking down at it and then looking at Blaine almost like he was expecting him to be mad.

“It’s ok Bryce honestly I understand” he said pulling him into a quick hug before leading him to his car and then driving him to his apartment. How could he be upset with Bryce considering the shoes he had on today and how he had felt when he had put them on? They both had their past pains that they were still dealing with.

Bryce went in and changed and then Blaine took him out to dinner and a movie.  They went back to Blaine’s apartment snuggling on the couch before going to bed, Blaine holding him tight all night long.

Blaine woke up again the next morning to an empty bed… He was about to get frustrated until he noticed this time the bed wasn’t made up and he heard noises coming from the kitchen. He got out of bed and followed the sounds.

Bryce had made coffee, and scrambled egg for both of them. Blaine had very little food in his apartment. Since it was usually just him, most of the time it was easier to swing by and get fast food than it was to cook for just him. They sat down and ate, talking in between bites, Blaine really enjoyed it, it had been a really long time since someone had done something like this for him.

“So, what are you getting up today” Bryce asked him, eyes down looking at his plate.

“Not really sure yet, I know I need to go rent a tux for Friday, and then get my hair cut, and get a new pair of sneakers” Blaine answered finishing his breakfast wondering why he wouldn’t look at him

“Oh, ok, I guess I need to get dressed and head home” Bryce said standing up, carrying his plate to the sink and then walked back into the bedroom.

Blaine stood up and walked in behind him, leaning on the door frame, watching him. Bryce went over to where he had put his clothes the night before, when he had changed into a pair of Blaine’s lounge pants to sleep in. He picked them up and instead of just changing there; he carried them into the bathroom and closed the door.

Blaine just looked at the door confused, wondering why he was acting so strange. He had seen every inch of Bryce yesterday and he hadn’t acted shy, so why was he now changing in another room with the door shut. Blaine sat on the side of his bed and waited for him to come out

“Bryce what’s wrong” Blaine asked concerned, when he finally came out of the bathroom. He stood up and walked over to him, wrapped his arms around Bryce’s waist and looked into his face.

“Nothings wrong, I just need to go home” Bryce said softly pulling away and slipping his feet into his shoes.

“Bryce, come on, did I do or say something wrong” Blaine asked wracking his brain, thinking about the conversation he had had with him. They had just had a really nice talk while they ate, he was lost.

“No, nothing is wrong” Bryce said before pulling slowly out of Blaine’s arms

“Come on Bryce talk to me, tell me what is going on,” Blaine said before grabbing him and pulling him back into his arms. Not liking how this was going at all.

“You have plans today; I was just going home so you could do what you needed to do” he said with his head on Blaine’s shoulder

Blaine placed his finger under Bryce’s chin and gently raised his face so they were looking at each other. “Bryce talk to me please” Blaine was really starting to get a little upset now, trying to figure out what the hell he had done wrong this time.

“I just thought we would spend the day together that’s all. This is our first day off and I just thought we could go exploring and stuff that’s all” Bryce whispered.

Blaine let out his breath on a sigh pulling him in for a kiss; feeling relieved that, that was all the problem was, he had never seen Bryce being clingy or unsure of himself before. He had always seemed so confident.

“Why didn’t you just say that, of course I want you with me, I just assumed you had things you needed to do” Blaine said pulling him just a little closer “Bryce honey if something is wrong, if something is going on, if there is something you need, want, you have to talk to me. I don’t want us to just ignore things, and let it pull us apart” Blaine said looking at him

“Ok, sorry I guess I am still really so new at this and don’t really know how to act” Bryce said with a small smile

“You have had girlfriends before right, you act the same, this isn’t any different. We are building our relationship and we both have to learn. I know I am going to do things that will drive you crazy, and you will probably do the same” Blaine said with a smile “We will get through it by talking about it ok?”

“I can definitely do that” Bryce said with  a smile leaning in and kissing Blaine softly, running his tongue across his bottom lip until Blaine opened his mouth for him and Bryce slowly slipped his tongue in, deepening the kiss, pulling Blaine closer so that he can feel how hard Bryce had gotten. He felt as Bryce grabbed his hand and then he led him back to the bedroom

Blaine watched as Bryce quickly stripped out of his clothes, before sliding his hands around to Blaine’s ass slipping them under his waistband and pushing them down to the floor. Blaine quickly stepped out of them never taking his eyes off of Bryce to see what his was going to do next, how far he was going to go, or was he, like yesterday, going to wait for him to take over again.

He soon got his answer, before he really had time to think of anything more, Bryce was pushing him backwards on the bed, then he was on him, straddling his hips, softly thrusting his hips down so that his cock slotted up against Blaine’s, skin on skin causing him to thrust his hips up to meet Bryce’s.

Bryce leaned forward whispering in Blaine’s ear “You said if I wanted or needed anything, I should let you know, well , I want and need you.” He said before thrusting his hips forward again “you also told me to act the way I would in any other relationship sooo…”

Bryce didn’t say any more just continued to thrust forward, increasing the pressure; he reached down and gently pinched Blaine’s nipples, which caused him to lose his mind. He started moving his hips under Bryce faster harder, reaching out his hands to Bryce’s hips pulling them even closer as he continued to thrust down into Blaine.

Before long he was cumming hard and warm between them, rocking through his orgasm, breathing heavy. Bryce soon followed, head back, and moaning Blaine’s name. Blaine flipped Bryce over so that he was on top of him and attached his mouth, slipping in his tongue.  That had been the hottest thing he had ever experienced in his life, and could hardly wait for a repeat performance. He liked this side of Bryce.

Blaine was content to just lie there, kissing him the rest of the day, and not move, but the stickiness between them was starting to get a little uncomfortable. Blaine leaned down gave Bryce another kiss “come on, let’s go get cleaned up and then we can head out.” Blaine said before rolling off Bryce, standing up and holding out his hand for him and helped him to stand up, placing another kiss on his sweet lips.

They quickly showered and got dressed, Blaine drove Bryce to his apartment so he could put on some clean clothes and then they went shopping.

“Can I make a suggestion, instead of renting a tux for Friday, why don’t you by one” Bryce said looking at him

“Do you really think I will need to buy a tux? I don’t know if I would wear one enough to buy one” Blaine responded taking his eye off of the road long enough to look sideways at Bryce.

“Weeeell awards season is coming up in the next few months and I was hoping you would agree to go with me, to be my plus one.” Bryce responded the shy smile that always did things to Blaine

“I would like to see you try to go with anyone else” Blaine said before reaching over, and grabbing Bryce’s hand “In case you didn’t realize yet, you are mine, and I don’t like sharing” Blaine said with a sexy smile that had Bryce’s heart beating just a little faster. Loving the fact that Blaine said he was his. He liked that.

After that day, they were together all the time. Bryce spent every night snuggled up either behind Blaine with his arms around his waist or with Blaine snuggled behind him. Either way Blaine was in heaven. He loved having him in his arms. Did he still have dreams about someone else almost every night, yes, but he loved how he spent his days.

Friday morning, Blaine woke up in an empty bed… again.  Sheets and blanket pulled up, pillows all in place. Ok, time for that talk…..

Blaine was frustrated, wondering why he kept doing that, he hated it number one that he didn’t get to wake up with him in his arms, but, to make it look like he hadn’t even been in the bed gave him flashbacks he really didn’t need this morning.

He quickly showered, put on some clean clothes and then he was in his car driving to Bryce’s apartment. He stood there for about 5 minutes before Bryce answered the door, head wet, and a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Blaine, are you ok” Bryce asked him, seeing the look on Blaine’s face he had never seen before.

“Not really, can we talk” Blaine answered and then followed him over to the couch and sat down

“Ok what’s up” Bryce said turning a little so that he could look at Blaine.

“Why do you do that, why do you just leave and not say anything, I hate that. And then to make it worse you make up the bed and it makes it look like you were never even there. If you need to leave, please wake me up, leave me a note or something” Blaine said standing up, pacing the room, feeling a frustration that wasn’t all because of Bryce.

“Blaine I am sorry, you were just sleeping so good, and we didn’t get much sleep last night” Bryce said with a dreamy smile, because they had been a little too busy to sleep most of the night “I promise it won’t happen again. I just had some running I needed to do this morning and didn’t know if you would be interested in going with me or not.” Bryce said kissing him on his forehead

“Unless it is something you need to do alone, I would very much love to come with you,” Blaine said feeling better. He knows he should have told Bryce how he felt before now, but today it hit him more than normal.

He had had that dream again last night, where he had woken up in and empty bed, Kurt gone and then he was at that restaurant again, being told they had had a good run. He had just wanted to roll over and pull Bryce into his arms for a minute, just to remind himself that he wasn’t alone anymore, only to realize he was.

oOoOo

The studio had arranged for everyone to be picked up in a limo, so Cooper, Bryce and himself arrived in the same car. Cooper got out first. Blaine didn’t really know what he had expected but it wasn’t this. There were millions of camera flashes, people talking over each other, asking him questions. Cooper stood there for a few minutes and then Bryce stepped out followed by Blaine.

“Bryce, Bryce, is this him is this the mystery guy” Blaine heard shouted, lights flashing over and over in his eyes he just stood beside Bryce with a smile on his face and his hand resting on Bryce’s back, surprising them both, but Blaine needed to feel him close.

“Yes this is him; this is my boyfriend Blaine Anderson, who by the way, also plays my boyfriend in South of Always. That is actually how we met, so you will be seeing him in the pilot tonight as well.” Bryce answered with a smile on his face looking at Blaine with a look of pride, that made Blaine smile just a little more.

“How long have you guys been together” one of the reporters screamed above everyone else

“We have been dating for a month but boyfriends just a week” Bryce said looking at Blaine with a smile and squeezing his hand

Bryce continued to answer their questions and Blaine answered the ones thrown his way, but in that moment his decision was made. This is definitely not something he was interested in for himself, yes he will still go with Bryce to these kinds of functions as long as they were together, but he feels this will be his last role.

It had been ok, and fun but not something he would be interested in long term, maybe commercials and that kind of thing but no long term show. He decided he would look into UCLA tomorrow, that way he would be staying in LA with Bryce.

They finally made it inside, and Bryce grabbed himself and Blaine a glass of champagne. Blaine sipped his slowly not wanting to make an ass of himself and embarrass Bryce.

The pilot was hilarious, being in a show is one thing, filming every day, but seeing the finished work, all the different scenes spliced together made it all so much more real. Plus seeing himself on screen was a shock. He really liked the show, and knows for a fact, if he had been sitting on his couch at home, not part of the project he would have loved it and would have watched it every week.

When they got back to Blaine’s apartment they celebrated again, Blaine had Cooper buy them a bottle of champagne and he poured them both a glass allowing himself only one, because he had other things in mind for tonight, and didn’t want to ruin it being drunk.

Blaine started kissing Bryce, and then led him into the bedroom, before first stripping him out of his tux and then stripping himself, he then gently pushed Bryce down on the bed, crawled up between his legs, and gave Bryce his very first blowjob ever.

During one of their sexier conversations Bryce had admitted that he had only ever had 2 sexual partners and he had never had someone give him one. Blaine happily took care of that for him, happy to be the first. Loving the look on his face, and the noises he made, as he got him to the very edge and then pushed him over.

He crawled up beside him sharing sweet kisses, forgetting about himself, wanting tonight to be all about Bryce and pleasuring him. They shared a few more kisses and then Blaine was pulling him into his arms snuggling close, and they both drifted off to sleep, Blaine content and happy.

oOoOo

Blaine slowly woke up hearing a phone ringing on Bryce’s side of the bed, and hearing his mumbled hello, but was fully awake when Bryce sat bolt upright in bed and just kept repeating “what, what are you talking about”. Blaine quickly leaned over and turned on the bedside light. He looked over at Bryce and noticed he had tears running down his face

“NO, NO, NO, THAT ISN’T POSSIBLE” he heard Bryce scream crying so hard he shook the bed. Blaine quickly wrapped his arm around his waist pulling him to his side.

“When did this happen… OK give me just a sec” Bryce said before looking at Blaine, “Can you get me some paper and something to write with I need to write this down” he said and Blaine was out of bed heading to the living room to get a pen and paper for him before running it back to him, noticing that the clock said 1am. It was never good news when you got a call at that time of day.

“Ok so Ashford hospital in London… Yes ma’am…. Yes ma’am… I’ll get there as soon as possible.” Bryce said and Blaine had to set there and watch him slowly fall apart. He quickly pulled him back into his arms and just held on to him.

“Sweetheart what happened, what is going on,” Blaine asked holding him, rubbing his hand up and down his back.

“Shey, Blaine, Shey was in a bad accident, she was hit by a drunk driver, I was still listed as her emergency contact, Blaine she doesn’t have anyone else, I need to get to her Blaine I have to get to her.” Bryce started crying harder almost hysterical.

“Ok sweetheart we are going to go. Why don’t you go to the restroom and wash your face while I make airline reservations, we will go to your apartment and pack you some clothes, we’ll leave as soon as possible” Blaine said kissing him on his forehead, remembering all too well the phone call he had gotten about Kurt, the panic he had felt, just needing to get to him now.

As Blaine’s pulls out a suitcase he quickly packs a few outfits, while talking to the airline. He figures if he forgets to pack something he can always get it there. He grabs his passport out of his dresser drawer and put that in his messenger bag and was just grabbing his phone charger and wallet as Bryce walked out of the bathroom. He helped him put on his pants and shirt from the tux he had worn last night and then guided him out the door and down to his car.

Blaine kept his arm wrapped around Bryce’s waist all the way to his apartment, took his keys from him when his hands shook to bad to unlock the door. He guided him over to his bed, had him sit down, he was shaking so bad that Blaine was afraid he would fall down.

He walked into Bryce’s closet grabbed one of his suitcases and pulled him out a couple of the outfits he had seen him wear, and then reached for his special shirt and a faded pair of jeans that looked like they would be comfortable for travel. He helped him get dressed and then they were ready. “Sweetheart, where is your passport, we are going to need it” he asked reaching out for Bryce’s phone charger.

Once Bryce had his passport, they walked back out to the car and headed for LAX parked in the long term parking lot and then grabbed both of their suitcases and still managed to hold Bryce’s hand the whole time. Blaine sat Bryce down in the waiting area and took their suitcases to have them checked in and to get their tickets. They waited an hour and then they were on a plane heading for Heathrow, Blaine keeping his arm around him the whole time.

When they landed the headed for customs and then Blaine got them a taxi to take them to the hospital. They got there too late. When the matron came in, she advised Bryce, after checking his passport to make sure he was who he said he was, that Shey had passed thirty minutes before they got there.

“No, no, Shey can’t be gone, Blaine she just can’t be gone, she can’t” Bryce screamed as he slowly slipped down to the floor. Blaine sat down beside him, pulled him into his lap and just held him, rocking him, crying with him. They sat there for about 10 minutes until Blaine saw a nurse walk in carrying a baby.

“Mr Mitchell, Ms Alexander notified us that you didn’t know about her daughter, she was in the car with her when the accident happened, she has been checked out and is unhurt. You should know that you are listed on the birth certificate as the child’s father.” She said placing the baby on her shoulder rocking the infant.

Blaine and Bryce both looked up at her. Slowly Bryce stood up, and walked over to her, Blaine following behind him. The matron slowly passed the baby to him; they both looked down at her and were in shock.

The baby could have been Blaine’s as much as Bryce’s. She had Blaine's dark curly hair, the same shape of his eyes but big and Brown like Bryce’s. She had Bryce's nose and Blaine's mouth, and coloring. They stare at each other trying to figure out how that is possible, but Blaine is in love. In that instant he doesn’t care about the hows, he wants her to be his, to be her daddy.

“What is her name, how old is she” Bryce finally pulled himself together to ask.

“Her name is Serene Elisabeth Mitchell and she will be three months old tomorrow” she said answering him “Ms Alexander referred to her as Sere” she added before passing the baby over to Bryce to hold.

Bryce just laughed “She did it, when we first met; we were shooting a film together about the Serengeti. She loved the area, loved the people, and loved that name. She always said that if she had a daughter she would name her Serene after the Serengeti and would call her Sere or Saree was how she said it would be pronounced” Bryce just stood there holding her looking down at her face until she started fussing and then he looked like he didn’t know what to do.

Blaine gently reached out for her, and Bryce quickly handed the baby to him and within seconds she was happy again. Blaine just whispered to her bouncing her gently until she went to sleep.

“Mr Mitchell, Ms Alexander left this letter for you, she was almost positive she wouldn’t make it long enough for you to get here. She asked me to give it to you.” The matron said before turning around and walking away, giving them time alone to read it.

Blaine started to walk away to give Bryce some privacy to read his letter, “Stay, please don’t leave me” he whispered looking at Blaine, still so in shock.

“Ok sweetheart, whatever you want” Blaine said once again wrapping his free arm around Bryce as he read the letter and started crying. When he was done, he passed the letter to Blaine to read.

Bryce,

I am so, so sorry. I should have told you, I shouldn’t have just walked away from you, I know how much I hurt you, I do. I had to leave though. Remember when we were in Africa and I told you that if I ever had a daughter I wanted to name her Serene. You looked at me and said you didn’t ever want to have kids. So when I figured out I was pregnant, I didn’t want you to be forced into making a decision, I love you so, so much and just couldn’t do that to you, so I left.

I’m sorry you are finding out this way, I am. I love you Bryce, always have and I always will. Please take care of Sere for me. If you don’t think you can do it then please, please find her a good place to live, a good family to love her. I can’t stand the thought of her having to grow up the way I did.

Here is the key to my apartment, where all my important papers are. My will is there, in the top drawer of my dresser, and it leaves everything to you and her. She has a bear that I got her right before she was born, please get it and keep it with her. Let her know how very much I loved her and I wouldn’t leave her if I had a choice. Please watch out for my baby girl.

Love you always

Shey

 

Blaine read the letter, before handing it back to Bryce. He didn’t know that he didn’t want children; that was something they had never really discussed. Some people just couldn’t handle being parents, but Blaine had always wanted to be a dad, and had figured he would adopt at some point in his life.

“Do you know what you want to do” Blaine asked, knowing this was a decision that only Bryce could make.

“I really don’t know, I just need a little time to think” Bryce whispered tears still streaming down his face, hurting so bad, he couldn’t think

“Ok, let’s do this, let’s go to Shey’s apartment get the paperwork she talked about, pack up some things for Sere, will get a motel room for a few nights and give you time to think about everything and decide what you want to do ok” Blaine said kissing him on the top of his head and pulling him just a little closer.

“Ok” Bryce whispered so tired he just wanted to curl up in a hole and forget today had even happened.

The matron gave Bryce a bunch of paper he needed to sign and then they left the hospital Blaine holding the baby and Bryce, just trying to help him through this.

When they got to the apartment, Bryce broke down completely he curled up in a ball on the couch and just cried. Blaine held him until Bryce whispered he just wanted to be alone for a minute and walked into the bathroom. While he was in there Blaine went into the baby’s room, placed Sere in her crib and found the teddy bear Shey had talked about.

He went to the little dresser beside the crib and there was a picture of a woman and Sere, she had to be Shey. Blaine stared at her picture in complete shock, she looked like a mixture of Cooper and Blaine, and she could have been their sister.

Blaine pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Cooper. It rings forever before he answers it, and Blaine asks if he knew of any family they might have in London, a cousin or something. Someone named Shey Alexander.

Cooper gets quiet before whispering “How do you know about her”

Blaine tells him what happened, that Bryce’s ex had just died from injuries from a car wreck that he had come with Bryce to London, and about the baby.

“Call dad Blaine, he will explain everything” Cooper said in a shocked voice

“Coop what is going on” Noticing for once he didn’t call him squirt

“Just call dad, he needs to be the one to explain this to you, I’m sorry Blaine, but it needs to be him that you hear this from.” Cooper said before hanging up the phone. Blaine just stares at his phone for a minute so confused. He then calls his dad at his office, needing to know what is going on.

Blaine looks at the time, figures out the time difference and figures he could catch his dad at his office, he dials the number and then waits for his dad’s secretary to transfer his call.

“Blaine what’s going on, are you ok” Michael asks. Blaine never calls him at the office unless it is important, and normally he just calls his cell phone.

“Dad, I need to ask you something, do you know a Shey Alexander” Blaine said almost holding his breath, wondering what his dad might tell him

“Why are you asking about her” his dad said really quiet

Blaine explains to him the same thing he told Cooper, about the accident, and the baby. “I just saw this picture of her holding the baby and dad she looks like she could be my sister” Blaine says still so confused.

“That is because she is” he heard his dad say after a minute of silence and then Blaine heard his dad’s voice break.

“What, what are you saying” Blaine ask in shock

“When you were three months old me and your mom started having problems, we were fighting all the time and didn’t want you and Cooper to be brought up around that so we separated and we filed for divorce. I started seeing someone else, and even though we always used protection, she got pregnant, she was Shey’s mom. Your mom and I worked things out but I was still there for Shey, I was there when she was born, I paid child support, I was part of her life until she turned one and her mom died.

Since I wasn’t listed as the dad on her birth certificate, she was sent to her grandmother to be raised. Your mom and I had some long conversations and we were going to adopt her and raise her as ours. By the time we got the paperwork together they had disappeared, I tried to locate them, but it was like they disappeared off the face of the planet. I am so sorry you found out this way son, I really am”

“Why did you tell Cooper and not me” Blaine asked hurt that his dad didn’t let him know that for 18 years he had had a sister.

“We didn’t tell him son, you have to remember he was 8 when all this was going on. By the time we started working on adoption he was 9 almost 10 he walked in on your mom and I talking about her. That is how he knows; we didn’t keep this from you and not him. I’m sorry we never told you about her, I really am”

“You said she had a daughter who was in the accident with her, is she ok, what is her name” his dad asked so excited and that is when it hits Blaine, Sere was his first grandchild that made Blaine’s decision to help raise Sere so much easier. She wasn’t just Bryce’s baby, she was his niece, she was blood.

“Yes, she is fine and beautiful. She is a combination of Bryce and Shey, she is perfect, she is three months old” Blaine answered

“Do you think Bryce will let me see her” his dad asked excited.

“I’m sure he will, well that is if he decides to keep her. He had told Shey at one point he didn’t want kids, which is why she left without telling him she was pregnant” Blaine explains

“If he decides he doesn’t want her Blaine, then we do let him know that ok, we will happily take her”

Blaine finished up his conversation with his dad, found a small suitcase in Sere’s room and started packing her some clothes, and diapers figuring if there was anything else she needed they would get it before heading home. He put the picture of Sere and Shey on top of the suitcase and closed the lid.

He walked back into the living room and found Bryce sitting on the couch staring off into space, completely zoned out. Blaine sat down beside him and pulled him into his lap and just held him, Bryce slipping his head on Blaine’s shoulder and breaking down again. Blaine hurts for him, wishing he could make this better and knowing he can’t. There was nothing he could do, but be there for him, support him in his decision.

“Why don’t we go find a motel we can check into and you can sleep for a little while” Blaine asked kissing him on top of the head. Bryce just nods his head too exhausted to even talk.

Blaine helps him up, and then walks into the kitchen and finds canned powder formula and bottles he quickly packs both in the diaper bag he had found in Sere’s room, goes into the room that would have been Shey’s and finds the envelope of papers she had talked about in her letter and puts that in it as well.

When he thinks he has everything together he goes back into Sere’s room, puts the strap of her suitcase over his shoulder before picking her up out of the crib and then walks back into the living room and to Bryce. They quickly find a cab, and have it take them to the closet motel. Bryce crawls into bed and other than going to the restroom he doesn’t get up for two days.

Blaine handles everything, he takes care of the baby, feeding her, bathing her, playing with her, in general falling more and more in love with her. Blaine talked to his dad, to see what they would need to bring Sere home. He had found where she had dual citizenship, she was considered American and British as well. His dad said the only thing they should really need to do is to go to the embassy and start an application for a passport.

The first day Bryce was able to get out of bed they went to the embassy to get her passport paperwork started. They were told that it would take about two weeks.

After that Bryce seemed to become more himself again, he actually started playing with Sere, Blaine bought a stroller and they would take walks through the park, spend time as a family and that is when it hits Blaine what he needs to do, he needs to be there for Sere he wanted to be her daddy, he wanted to help raise her. He also wanted to be there for Bryce. He tried so hard, but at times he was just lost when dealing with the baby

They were walking through Hyde Park when he made his decision, he knew what he was going to do, needed to do.

He stops turns and looks at Bryce, he still feels his heartbeat speed up when Bryce was around. Blaine wants him to be part of his life….. He stopped walking, turned to Bryce looking him in the eyes and then asked him the most important question he will ever ask.

“Will you marry me”……



A/N: I’m sorry…. there is a method to my madness, and I promise you this story will end up the way all Klaine stories are meant too. Hang in there with me, I promise it won’t be long.

Chapter Text

A/N: Ok guys don't give up on my yet, this had to be done for the story progression. The next chapter is done as well, I just need to proof it. It was originally one chapter but it was over 11000 words so I needed to split it into two chapters. I will try to post the next chapter tonight when I get off work, because unfortunately r/l calls. Ok here goes don’t hate me too much….

 

 

“Will you marry” Blaine said looking at Bryce.  Yes this was a question he had asked before, a question he had gotten a yes to, from the one person he always thought he would marry, the person he had so wanted to marry. But he knows he can make it work with him. Bryce just looked at him before speaking.

“Blaine why would you want to marry me, I know you don’t love me” Bryce said looking at him almost like he expected Blaine to deny it, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t say something he didn’t feel, and probably never would feel. He wants to always be truthful to Bryce.  He knew who his heart belonged to, and that wasn’t ever going to change, but he also knew he had to move on, be with someone else, and he knew him and Bryce could be good together, were good together.

“Your right, I don’t love you right now, but I care a lot about you. We are good together, I love spending time together, I love getting to know you. You are special to me Bryce. I know we can work. I can be there to help you with Sere, with your permission I would love to adopt her, be her daddy. We could be a family together; Sere will have two people who will love her.  I can’t think of anything I would like more.” Blaine said looking him in the eye so he would know just how serious he was.

“Blaine you don’t have to do that honestly, we will be ok” Bryce said looking at him a little in shock. Yes he would love to marry Blaine, even though he didn’t love him right now, he knew that he was heading that way, but didn’t want Blaine to think he had to marry him, just because of Sere, even though he knows that he really had no idea what to do with an infant, and Blaine would be so helpful with that, was already helpful. He had just stepped in and handled everything, took such good care of them both. Was that a good enough reason?

“Sweetheart, I know I don’t have to marry you, that you would be fine without me, but I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to help you raise Sere, I want to be there when she says her first words, takes her first steps. I want to be with you when you walk on stage and except your first Emmy. I will be the one in the audience cheering the loudest, yelling that yes that is my husband” Blaine said almost afraid he would say no

“Blaine are you sure, I don’t want you to ever regret this, us” Bryce said looking at him

“Bryce, I have never been more sure of anything in my life, I want to marry you, I want to be your husband” Blaine said reaching out and placing his hand on Bryce’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb looking him in the eyes

“Then yes, yes I will marry you” Bryce said with a grin spreading across his face that got bigger as Blaine picked him up and spun him around, making him laugh.

“Thank you, I know we are going to be happy together” Blaine said kissing him, for once not even caring that they were in a public place he just kissed him, and then hugged him tight “Come on, let's go grab lunch and then go call our parents and let them know”. Blaine said with a big smile.

They ate lunch, and then they both called their parents to let them know they were engaged, and planned on getting married right away, that way when they got home from London Blaine could start the adoption process for Sere. Blaine’s dad said he would go ahead I start the paperwork, and then as soon as they were home Bryce could sign to allow Blaine to adopt her.

“Son, I also want you to think about a prenup. You have a lot of money. I am not saying that he would do anything, but it would be better to be safe than be sorry, especially with the divorce laws the way they are in California.” Michael said trying to make Blaine understand how important it could be

“Dad, we haven’t even gotten married yet, I can’t ask him to sign papers in case we get a divorce” Blaine said looking everywhere but at Bryce who was in the same room

“Pre Nup” Bryce said with a big grin

“Yup” Blaine said looking at him just shaking his head

“Dad heard and thinks it will be a good idea too” Bryce said grinning at him, showing how crazy an idea he thought it was

“Ok dad Bryce will go along with it, but we are talking about getting married before we come home” Blaine told him

“That will work, I know a lawyer in London, let me get with him and he can get it written up and all you will need to do is both sign it, let me call you right back” Michael said before hanging up

“I am so sorry” Blaine said pulling Bryce into his arms kissing him, pulling him close.  Just when he was reaching up to unbutton Bryce’s shirt Sere started to cry. Blaine sighed putting his head on Bryce’s shoulder. “Raincheck?” he whispered

“Oh most definitely,” Bryce said pulling Blaine’s hips toward him, kissing him deep and then letting him go

“So unfair mister, so unfair” Blaine said shaking his head and having to adjust himself as he goes and picks up the baby. She stops crying almost immediately, he changes her diaper, and then feeds her a bottle, burps her, he cuddles with her a few minutes and she drifts back off to sleep. Blaine lays her back in her bed.

He walks over to Bryce pushes him down on the bed fully clothed attacking his lips and straddled his hips and then thrust down slowly, kissing Bryce on his neck, on his lips, slowly rocking against him, Blaine was so close, he felt in his toes he was right there…. And then his phone rang, which of course woke up the baby.

“Someone is about to die” Blaine sighed kissing Bryce one more time picking up his phone while walking over to the baby and picking her up.

“Hello dad” Blaine said looking at the caller id

“Son, I have the lawyer in place. If you can go over there in about an hour he will have the paperwork ready for you to sign, he also is going to help you with the marriage license” Michael said

“Thanks dad, for everything. We will come by and see you when we get home. Give mom a hug for me. I love you.” Blaine said before hanging up the phone.

Blaine wrote down the lawyers name and address, they both changed clothes, and then Blaine changed Sere, placed her in her stroller and they were on their way.  Since they weren’t that far away and it was pretty out they decided to walk.

When they got to the lawyers office they talked for a few minutes, he advised Blaine that he had faxed a copy of the pre nup to his dad and he had Ok’d it.

“Ok basically Blaine, if you divorce within 5 years he gets nothing, if you divorce between 5 and 10 years you pay him $100000 anything over 10 years you agree to pay him $500000” He said passing the paper to Blaine to sign. Bryce watched him mouth open, Blaine signed that paper like it was nothing. Then it was passed to Bryce to sign.

“And what about me if we divorce within a certain amount of time, what am I agreeing to pay him?” Bryce asked before signing

“Oh, you don’t pay anything at all” The lawyer looked at him confused. Didn’t he realize just how wealthy his fiancé was?

Bryce signed it feeling really confused but passed the signed form over to the lawyer, wondering if he should have had his own lawyer look at it, but in his heart he knew Blaine wouldn’t take advantage of him. He just kind of joked with himself, just gotta make it five years. He almost laughed out loud.

“Ok Mr. Anderson, I will get this sent to your father to have filed. Also the magistrate’s office is waiting for you. You can go either now and sign the forms or in the morning whichever works better for you” he stated standing. “Congratulations to the both of you, and good luck” he said shaking both of their hands and then they walked out the door.

Since Sere was quiet right now they went to the magistrate’s office picked up their paperwork, that way first thing in the morning they could get married. Blaine was getting excited but also nervous. They walked around a little, walking through the park stopping at a little bistro for dinner before they head back to their room.

They snuggle together on the couch for a while holding Sere, spending time with her as they watched her little eyes become so heavy, close and she falls asleep. Blaine carried her over to her crib and then crawled in bed beside Bryce, pulling him into his arms placing a small kiss on his lips.

“Night sweetheart” Blaine said holding him. Once Bryce falls asleep, he carefully  crawls out of bed and heads down to the lobby, to the little jewelry store they had. He managed to find a set of rings he liked, even though he had wanted something better for Bryce, he figures he can replace them on their first anniversary. Blaine has to smile at that, looking forward to many years with Bryce.

He managed to get back up to the room before Sere started crying again and Bryce never even realized he had gone. He went and sat down on one of the small couches in the room and pulled out his phone. He looked through some of the pictures he had saved. Some he should have deleted, should delete but just can’t. Some of the pictures were of his fondest memories.

One of the ones that hits him the hardest was the one that Kurt had taken the day after they had gotten engaged. Kurt had wanted something for Blaine to wear. He had gotten him an id bracelet.

He had said at the time he had thought of a ring, but knew that a bracelet would just fit Blaine’s personality so much more. He had watched as Kurt put the bracelet on him and just looked at the camera, eyes full of tears and love for the beautiful man in front of him. He can still remember how he had felt, it had been so unexpected, and he had just known they would always be together.

On the front of the bracelet, it had two little diamonds circled with a heart and his name. On the back it had been engraved with the date they got engaged and the inscription said “I love you more than I ever thought possible, you are my life, together forever and always.  Your Nemo”

He had smiled when he saw the name Nemo; he had called Kurt that right after they had become boyfriends. When Kurt had laughed and asked him why he called him that, Blaine had just looked at him with a serious look on his face “Kurt, you are my Nemo. I finally found you and I am never going to lose you, I am never going to let you go, I will never have to find you again”

Blaine just stares at that picture, knowing he will never be able to delete it. He can still remember how proud he had been when Kurt had slipped that bracelet on his wrist, until the day Kurt had broken up with him; he had never even taken it off, and never thought he would.  

After the breakup, he had still worn it for a few days, still trying to understand what had happened, trying to figure out why. After two days he had finally taken it off for the first time in almost a year. He had run his finger over the inscription, and cried. He had lost his Nemo after all. He had placed it in the box it came in, and when he moved back home he had put in his nightstand where it would always be safe.

He looks through the rest of the pictures one more time before closing them, and that chapter of his life forever.  Tomorrow he will be a married man. He feels a tear slip down his face; missing someone he knows he can never have, but knowing he needs to move on, and just try to forget.  He wipes the tears away, and crawls back in bed, pulling Bryce back into his arms, placing a soft kiss on his head.

The next morning was beautiful, and Blaine was very nervous. He didn’t really know why but he was. They decided to walk to the magistrate’s office, enjoying the beautiful weather. They had a quick civil service and walked out a married couple, both with matching rings and smiles.

They had decided they would both keep their own last names because of the business they were in, but Sere would be renamed Mitchell-Anderson once the adoption process was complete.

They spent all day playing tourist. Blaine took Bryce to all the places he remembered visiting when he was here with his parents his freshman year in high school. They had a wonderful time. They spent the whole day out, looking at everything, visiting the different museums, riding the London eye.

They ate dinner and then stopped at a drug store on the way back to the motel, they needed more diapers and wipes for Sere and Blaine needed to get some personal items for tonight. He was still feeling nervous, they had had a really good day, and he hoped they would have an even better night. When they got back to their room Blaine bathed Sere feed her, her bottle and then tucked her into the crib the motel had supplied for her.

Bryce looked to be as nervous as Blaine, this was their wedding night, tonight was special, and Blaine would make it as special for Bryce as he possibly could. Bryce went in and took a 30 minute shower and then Blaine took one, when he walked out of the bathroom he saw Bryce sitting on the side of the bed fidgeting.

Blaine knew Bryce was anxious, he was too. Yes he had done this before, but never as a husband. Tonight was ten times more important than any other time he had done it before; this was his husband, his future.

He slowly walked over to Bryce, helped him stand up and then pulled him into his arms, he reached up with both of his hands, placing them on either side of his face, just looking into his eyes for a few minutes before leaning in and giving him a soft kiss, taking his time, in no rush.

When Blaine felt Bryce step closer to him, Blaine pulled his face closer, he slowly stuck his tongue in his mouth, tasting him, loving it. He kissed up Bryce’s jaw up to his ear, sucking his earlobe into his mouth, biting on it gently, feeling as Bryce thrust his hips into Blaine’s, letting him know how hard he was.

“Can I make love to you tonight” Blaine whispered into Bryce’s ear licking around the shell he was so hard, he was hurting. He had enjoyed everything they had done so far but wanted so much more. He had dreamed of sinking into him for so long, needed it so bad.

“Yes… please ” Bryce said not knowing what he was begging for but wanting something he knew only Blaine could give him.

Blaine kissed his lips one more time before reaching down and grabbing the hymn of his polo shirt and slowly pulled it up and over Bryce’s head, placing another kiss on his sweet lips. Never taking his eyes off of him, he reached down and unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, and then stuck his hand under the waistband and started sliding his hands down to his ass, pushing his pants down as his hands slid down.

Kissing him again he squeezed his ass and pulled him closer. He started kissing, deep and hard, before gently pushing him so he was sitting on the bed. Blaine quickly stripped his own clothes off, and bent over to kiss Bryce while he got down on his knees in front of him. Blaine slowly bent down and took Bryce in his mouth, using his tongue he circled the head of his swollen cock, and heard his sharp inhaled breath, and felt his hips thrust forward.

Blaine slowly lowered his mouth down Bryce’s shaft, hollowing his cheek sucking softly as he moved his head up and down, trying to give him as much pleasure as possible. When Bryce thrust forward again, Blaine knew he needed to stop, he didn’t want him cumming like this, not tonight anyway. He wanted to be buried inside of him when that happened again.

Blaine slowly pulled off and then kissed him on his lips again. “Lay back on the bed sweetheart” he said softly standing up and grabbing the lube and a condom out of the box on the nightstand. Once Bryce was lying down on his back, Blaine reached up and grabbed a pillow and placed it under Bryce’s hip.

“That should make the angle better for you,” Blaine said sitting with his ass on his heels between Bryce’s legs. He leans down and places another kiss on his sweet lips.

“Ok sweetheart what I need to do is open you up a little, prep you so that you are ready for me, let me know if I hurt you, or move to fast. I need you to talk to me ok sweetheart. We will go as slow as you need me too ok” Blaine said softly, looking at Bryce he sees him nod.

Blaine opens the bottle of lube, squeezes some on his hand and the coats his index finger, before reaching down and slowly pushing into Bryce’s tight puckered hole. Blaine almost came just from that, feeling how tight and warm he was. When he felt Bryce’s muscles loosen he slowly slides his finger out, and adds more lube, coating his middle finger, before slowly starting to slide both in.

 When he heard Bryce’s sharp intake of breath, he stopped giving him a few seconds before sliding his fingers in further. Once he gets them in as far as he can, he starts slowly pulling them out and then sliding them back in, when once again his muscles loosen Blaine pulls his fingers out slowly, lubes up a third finger, and then slowly starts sliding them in, and then pulling them out slowly over and over scissoring them to stretch him as much as possible.

He reached up with his other hand and started to slowly move his hand up and down Bryce’s cock, hearing him moan his name made Blaine even harder. He needed him so badly, wanted nothing more than to sink into his warm heat, but knew he wasn’t ready for that yet.

He slowly pulls his fingers out a little angling them so he rubs right over Bryce’s prostate and can only smile when Bryce thrust his hips up and feels his cock jerk in his hand. He is close. Blaine slowly pulls his fingers out again and puts more lube on his hand, and the slowly inserts all four slowly back in, moving them in and out slowly. Blaine feels he is finally loose enough, and to be honest, he doesn’t know if he could hold off entering him much longer.

He pulls his fingers all the way out, reaches for the condom and slides it on and then squeeze more lube onto his hand, slides it up and down his cock a few times, to get as much lube on as possible he lays over Bryce bracing himself on his hands and knees, and slowly leans down and kissing him, deep and hungry.

He sits back up between Bryce’s legs, and never taking his eyes off of him, watching for any sign of discomfort, he lined himself up with Bryce’s hole, and slowly starts pushing himself forward. When he breaches the first ring of muscle he stopped to give him time to adjust, unfortunately Bryce thrust his hips forward either from the pleasure of it or the pain and almost caused Blaine to enter him farther than he intended to yet.

Luckily Blaine had been ready for that and had his hand holding Bryce’s hips so they couldn’t thrust up fast and end up hurting himself. He had learned that the hard way, the first time him and Kurt had made love. He had thrust up hard and Blaine hadn’t been ready for it and Kurt felt more pain their first time than he ever should have. Blaine wanted to make sure that didn’t happen with Bryce. 

When Blaine was fully inside him, he noticed that Bryce had gone soft, so, just like he did with Kurt he reached out and grabbed his cock again and started to slowly move his hand up and down a few times until he was hard and rigid again, and then he started to slowly move in and out. It felt so good, he was so tight and warm and Blaine had to think of something else just to keep from cumming then and there and ruining everything.

He kept it slow and gentle, never really increasing his speed, just enjoying it so much. He feels tears prickle the back of his eyes when memories of another first time enter his brain, trying to chase them away. It was so unfair to Bryce to be thinking about Kurt while he was deep inside of him, so he closed his eyes and just kept moving slowly and as deep as he could. He feels himself getting close can feel it building in his balls. He opens his eyes and looks at Bryce and he has his head turned, he isn’t moving, not making any sound at all.

Blaine reaches between them and grasps his cock again and starts moving his hand up and down, matching his hand with the thrust of his hips. Right before he is about to cum himself he felt Bryce orgasm warm on his hand, Blaine continues to rock his hips, throwing his head back and moaning as he finally came. If the baby hadn’t been asleep on the other side of the room, Blaine would have probably screamed Bryce’s name. It had felt that good.

He slowly pulls out of him, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his lips before reaching down and removing the condom. He quickly ties it off and throws it in the trash can and  then he leaned over to whisper in Bryce’s ear “You were amazing” before kissing him again and then standing up to walk in the restroom and grab a washrag. He quickly cleans himself off and then grabs another one and then goes in and cleans off Bryce’s abdomen.

He lies back down beside him and pulls him into his arms and just snuggles with him, whispering in his ear again how amazing that had been. So satisfied, and warn out he doesn’t want to move. Blaine felt it as Bryce’s muscles relax and he was soon asleep.

Blaine lays there for a few minutes thinking about what had just happened. Feeling bad, that in the second he had finally got his release it wasn’t Bryce he was seeing. It was a beautiful blue eyed memory that still had the ability to tear him up inside. He needs to figure out how to make it stop, knowing it was so unfair to Bryce. He would just have to work harder to stay in the moment.

The baby woke him up at 2:30; Bryce never seemed to hear her cry. Blaine got up and walked over to the crib. “What is it sweet girl, what is wrong with my baby” Blaine softly spoke to her rocking her as he makes her a bottle. He sits down in the chair with her and feeds her. He burps her and then lays her down quickly changing her diaper and then she is out again, and Blaine is completely awake.

It is 3, Blaine wonders if it is too early to wake his husband up, just that thought alone had his cock standing at attention, hard and hurting. He walks over crawls back into bed. He snuggles against Bryce’s back and starts kissing his shoulder, his neck thrusting against his ass. Bryce opens his eyes with a smile on his face. He rolls over so they are facing each other and their cocks rub against each other, and Bryce is as hard as he was.

Blaine attacks his lips rubbing his hands up and down Bryce’s body, getting more and more turned on, and wanting him so bad again. “Roll over for me sweetheart, I think it might be easier this time if you get on your knees, I know you might be a little sore” He said kissing him and sitting back waiting for Bryce to roll over and get up on his knees. He was looking away, reaching for a condom and lube and missed the look that crossed Bryce’s face.

He quickly preps him, and then slowly slips in, trying to be gentle. He knows he should have waited until tomorrow before making love to him again, but it had just felt so good, and it had been so long. When he feels himself getting close he reaches around and encircles Bryce’s cock in his hand and starts moving it up and down squeezing gently to help get him there. Blaine unfortunately cums before Bryce this time, but keeps stroking him until he finally does.

When Blaine slowly pulls out, Bryce slides down and lies on his stomach, face turned away from Blaine.

“Sweetheart, are you ok, was I to rough, are you still really sore” Blaine asks concerned, feeling horrible. He should have waited.

“No Blaine I am fine, you were great, I am just really tired all of a sudden” he says turning to face Blaine, placing a kiss on his lips and then rolls over onto his side facing away from Blaine and falls back to sleep.

Blaine feels better; he was really concerned that he had pushed it. He knows he needs to wait a few days before they do it again, but they can always do a lot of other things Blaine thinks with a smile before slipping the condom off, and throwing it in the trash can. He quickly goes and washes himself off, and would have taken a washrag back in to Bryce but he was asleep.

He walked back into the room with a smile on his face, completely happy for the first time in a long time. He felt like they were going to be ok. They would have years together. Maybe once Sere is older they can adopt another baby and give her a sister or brother someone to grow up with.

Blaine crawls back into bed and pulls Bryce back into his arms and then is asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. He completely misses it as Bryce gently extracted himself from Blaine’s arms, walked into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower as hot as he could handle it before stepping in. He scrubbed every inch of his body.

Even though Blaine had been so caring, and gentle and easy with him, and took his time Bryce hadn’t liked it at all. With tears running down his face, he wonders how he is ever going to explain to Blaine that he didn’t want to do it again. When Blaine had woken him up, Bryce had gotten excited. He thought they would just do what they had been doing before tonight, when he told him to roll over on his knees he had wanted to cry knowing what Blaine was going to do.

He had always enjoyed everything they had done, but not that, never that. When he got out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his hips and went back into the bedroom. He stopped by the crib where Sere was asleep and just stared down at her. He wishes he could feel something for her the way Blaine seems to already, but he still feels nothing, wishing she looked like Shey.

He walked over to his bag and pulled out his journal, and sat down on the couch, thankful once again that Blaine had packed it. He really was a wonderful husband, well, in every way but one. He slowly starts his entry for today.

 

Chapter Text

A/N Ok, here we go. The next chapter is complete as well, it was written right after I posted my first chapter of this story, I knew then how things were going to go, just had to get there. It is heading the way it is supposed to, I promise. Thanks for sticking in there with me. And thinks for the reviews. 

 

 

 

Over the next two weeks they spend their days outside exploring London, and their nights exploring each other. After four days of being married Bryce had finally told Blaine he didn’t really like intercourse.

“I love everything else we do, but not that. I am so sorry Blaine, I really tried to like it but I don’t” he looked up like he was expecting him to be mad.

“Don’t be sorry sweetheart, I wish you had said something before, there is always other things we can do.

The next night Blaine had bottomed for the first time, hoping that Bryce would like it better. Since Blaine was his first experience, they needed to see what his preference was anyway. Bryce was fantastic and Blaine decided he could definitely deal with it. Was it his favorite no, but he had to do what Bryce liked as well if they were going to make this work.

Bryce didn’t like that either. So Blaine settles in to life with what they had always done, that would be enough. Maybe later they could try again.

They finally got notification that Sere’s passport was ready, and they were both ready to go home. Blaine learns really quickly how much his life has changed when they land at LAX, walk to get their luggage and go through customs. Before he even realizes what is going on there is flashes going off, paparazzi in his face asking questions.

“Is it true you got married, were you on your honeymoon?”

“Did you adopt a child already?”

“What’s her name?”

“Are you going to be staying on the show now that you are married?”

With everything that had been going on, getting married and getting Sere, he had forgotten that the night before they left the country their pilot had aired and two more episodes had been shown while they were gone. Blaine and Bryce just keep walking not saying anything, not answering any questions.

Blaine hands Sere to Bryce and walks over to get their luggage off of the carousel. He grabs the car seat they had bought the day before flying out, knowing they would need one for his car, on the way home. He quickly puts everything on a suitcase trolley and starts heading toward the front door.

“Well that was different” Blaine said as he started the car and heads towards Bryce’s apartment. As soon as they saw all the camera’s they quickly decided they needed to stay at Bryce’s until they could find a bigger place. His apartment building had a doorman and a service desk where you had to check in to be allowed in the elevator.

Blaine hadn’t really been happy with the idea of moving into Bryce’s apartment, having flashbacks of past experiences, but he knows it is the best place for them to be. It was up to them to keep Sere safe.

The next day they head to Westerville so Bryce and Sere could meet his parents and so Bryce could sign the forms to legally start the adoption process. Blaine’s parents fall in love with Sere and they seem to like Bryce ok, even though they really didn’t speak to him that much.

They spend a few days there and then are heading back to California so that Bryce’s family can meet Blaine and Sere. Before they leave Blaine pulls a box out of his nightstand and hides it in his suitcase. He decided he wanted to put it in the box he had his scrapbook in at home. He wanted it with him again.

When they get to Bryce’s parents house Blaine takes an instant dislike to both of them. They seem so judgmental, making little comments about Bryce that sets him off. He can already tell they will not be spending much time with them. He really didn’t like the comments they made about Sere either.

They were finally able to find a bigger apartment, one with security like Bryce’s, close to Cooper’s. The first thing Blaine did when they moved in was set up the nursery. He put everything together himself, he painted the walls, and placed little pictures around making it a happy place for his little girl to grow up in.

Because yes, she was his little girl, they had gone to court the day before and everything was filed and Serene Elisabeth Mitchell officially became Serene Elisabeth Mitchell-Anderson. Blaine was on cloud nine. He had the perfect daughter, the perfect husband, the perfect life.

oOoOo

They had been home almost a month when they got notification that the show wasn’t going to be picked up for the rest of the season, they would air the shows that had been filmed and then it would be over.

Blaine was surprised when he got a call from his manager asking him if he wanted a small part in a movie they would start shooting the next week. The director had asked for Blaine specifically. Blaine said yes and started on the film, that lead to him doing tons of commercials.

Bryce was soon offered a job that would take him away from home for two weeks. They talked before he left. They decided that since they had Sere they would make sure that if one of them was on a shoot somewhere, the other person would keep their commitments local. That way Sere always had someone with her.

Blaine and Bryce started having problems shortly after that, their first month together had been wonderful, they spent a lot of time talking, cuddling on the couch, spending time together with Sere as a family, settling into their relationship.

Blaine was happy just being able to hold him, did he miss some things in their relationship yes, but the relationship was the most important thing and he wanted Bryce to be happy. They did enough to keep him satisfied, and since they lived together they were able to be intimate more often which helped as well

Once Bryce got his first movie, things went downhill from there. They weren’t spending much time together, and the time they were together was spent mostly arguing. Bryce never helped out with Sere, even when he was home, Blaine still did everything. Bryce would come home for a day or two and then would be heading back out again, almost like he couldn’t wait to be away from them.

They argued about the time that Bryce spent away from home, and how when he was there he didn’t stay for long. Their relationship was pretty much nonexistent which Blaine couldn’t really figure out why, but he knew he was getting tired of it and something needed to be settled between them soon

They had a really heated discussion when they were both nominated for a people's choice award for their work on South of Always. Bryce just assumed that Blaine would refuse the nomination now that they were married and Blaine refused to, he had earned that nomination just as much as Bryce had.

He screamed at Blaine asking what kind of husband did that, and Blaine just looked at him in a calm voice and asks what kind of husband would ask. Bryce had stormed out the door slamming it behind him, of course waking up the baby he had just gotten to sleep.

Blaine was asked if he would perform for the awards show, and he agreed figuring Bryce would win, and that way he could show his support the way he always said he would, even though he knew they were falling apart. Bryce was always gone, never stayed at home which led to more and more arguments, and discussions and fights.

Blaine was the one always staying home with Sere, when Bryce was there half the time he paid no attention to her at all and not much more time with Blaine. He pulled further and further away, and Blaine couldn’t understand why. They used to get a long perfectly and now…

On the night of the awards show, Blaine went into his room, went into his closet and pulled down the box that he kept all the stuff from high school. He pulls out his bracelet that he had placed in there right after he got married. He never thought he would wear it again, but like Kurt’s ring, it meant something to him, it stood for something, it was important.

So tonight, on one of the most important nights of his life Blaine grabbed out his bracelet and put it on for the first time in over a year. He needed it, needed to wear it again.

Bryce was supposed to be flying into town just in time for the show and then would be flying right back out again, which caused another big fit for them.

When Blaine stepped out of his limousine, he sees Bryce is already there, he hadn’t called to say when he would be in, he hadn’t called to say he was in town, and hadn’t come home. He also hadn’t waited on Blaine; he walked the red carpet alone. Blaine decided two could play that game so he decided to piss him off a little and not automatically go over to him.

He stood on the red carpet and talked to the reporters on his own, smiling at the cameras, laughing at comments, not saying anything when a reporter flat out flirted with him. The guy was cute, he stood there talking to him for five minutes. Blaine didn’t walk over to his husband or even acknowledge him at all. Of course that got the reporters talking, was there trouble in paradise. If only they knew.

Bryce looked up and saw the reporter flirting with Blaine and quickly walked up to him with a smile on his face, Blaine saw the look of almost hate in his eyes, he was trying to hide. Whether or not that look was for the reporter or Blaine he didn’t know, it took everything he had not to laugh. Looking the reporter in the eyes Bryce leans in and kisses Blaine on the cheek and then linked their arms together like they were the happiest couple in the world, almost rubbing it in the guys face that Blaine was his

They walked into the auditorium, and took their seats, holding hands, playing it up for the cameras. Blaine was soon motioned to the back so he could go and perform; he kissed Bryce on the cheek as he walked by with a smile on his face.

He was so looking forward to this performance, had been practicing it all week and was so ready. When he got backstage he quickly changed out of his tux and slipped on a white short sleeve button down shirt wanting to make sure his arm was showing, he replaced his bowtie with a straight tie with blue and red stripes and his tux pants for a pair of smoky grey ones.

He walks on stage, gives the audience a big smile, then walks up to the piano and starts playing the music he had picked out, not needing the sheet music that had been left for him, this one he knew by heart.

Before you met me
I was alright
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Blaine looked at the camera, smiling his first real smile in a month. He was singing this song to someone special. This song had always been special to him. After he had sung it at Call Backs he hadn’t allowed himself to sing it again, feeling like it had been ruined forever, but tonight he knew, nothing was ruined unless you let it be, nothing was over forever until death, and he felt more alive tonight than he had in a long time.

He had had a long talk with Cooper today about his marriage and things going on. Things were going to change one way or the other. He refused to keep living the way they had been. 

He stepped away from the piano and someone else sat down and the curtains opened and he was joined by 12 more people all in Navy blazers with red piping, and a red and blue striped tie, he quickly put on the blazer he was being handed, got into formation and sang the next part of the song looking straight into the camera, making the same gestures, and facial expressions he had made so very long ago

I'ma get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

When he finished his song, he turned to his friends and hugged them one at a time. Thanking them for helping him out, hearing the cheers and claps from the audience. He stood there with them laughing, happier than he has been in a very long time.

He walks up to the mic standing in front of him takes off his jacket and holds the mic with his left hand. The arm that had the bracelet on it, “That’s for you Nemo, hope you liked it” he said with a wink, knowing Kurt always watched the people’s choice awards, he never missed it. He loved talking about what and who everyone was wearing.

Blaine then walked off stage and spent a few minutes with his friends before he was told he needed to go take his seat that the next award was going to be presented. “I’ll catch up to you guys when we are done here, I need you to meet my daughter” he said with a proud smile on his face.

When he got back to his seat, Bryce was pissed. “What the hell Blaine, who the fuck is Nemo” Bryce almost spat at him

Blaine reached out his hand and held Bryce’s chin “Oh sweetheart, you don’t even need to worry about that” he answered in a sarcastic tone, but with a smile on his face. For anyone watching it would have looked like a loving moment between them.

“Welcome to the 44th annual People's Choice Awards tonight. We want to thank Blaine Anderson and the Dalton Academy Warblers for starting our show off tonight.

“For the first award of the night it is Best Male Lead in a film or TV series. The nominees are Brad Walters for Cry a Little Deeper, Blaine Anderson for South of Always, and Bryce Mitchell also for South of always. Ouch, I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house tonight” he joked and the whole audience laughed. Blaine and Bryce included.

“And the award goes to…. Blaine Anderson for South of Always ” the presenter yelled, Blaine smiled standing up noticing that his “husband” half assed clapped for him.

Blaine went up on stage and was handed his first award. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting this, I so thought it was going to go completely different” he heard several laughs and saw the camera as it panned over to Bryce, who grinned really big, his grin almost looking real

“Umm first I would like to thank my parents for always loving me, for being there for me always, for my big brother Cooper Drew who got me into this crazy business, also even though she is asleep and wouldn’t know what I was saying even if she wasn’t to my beautiful Sere, my life was completed the day you entered it, daddy loves you. To my friends who have always been there for me, and my Nemo, you know who you are. Thanks” he said with a smile holding up his award and then walked off stage. He didn’t mention Bryce at all, and didn’t care how it looked.

He was to a point where he was so mad he could care less. Their relationship, if it could even be called that was crumbling and he was tired of being the only one that seemed to care, from now on he was going to work on being happy again, he hoped that was with Bryce.

“We’ll talk about this when we get home” he heard Bryce whisper beside him

“Oh… your coming home” Blaine said looking at him shocked, not caring that he was making Bryce madder, he could really care less at this point

“Don’t be such a smart ass Blaine” Bryce said turning away from him

He paid attention to the announcer again and was shocked when he heard his name again. He knew he had been put in for the one award but not two. “For lead male role in a new series once again Blaine Anderson” Blaine was in shock. When he walked on stage he didn’t know what to say.

“Umm I want to thank my manager for agreeing to sign me after knowing me for all of five minutes so I could sign a contract to work on this show with such a wonderful group of people. For Jack Martin our producer who never got upset when I flubbed a line once or ten times” he said laughing looking at Jack

“Thank you to NYADA’s Carmen Tibideaux, for allowing me to go to such a wonderful school and learn so much. I know I wasn’t there long but you took a chance on a boy from Westerville Ohio. Thank you.” Blaine said walking off stage, once again not mentioning Bryce.

When he walked off stage he saw Wes and David standing there waiting on him with a worried look on their faces. “Blaine, you know we love you, but what the hell are you doing. That is twice you purposely didn’t mention your husband’s name.” Wes said looking at him concerned

“I know, I know, listen, me and him are going to have a talk tonight. Can you guys come to my apartment tomorrow and I can fill you in. I could really use your advice.” Blaine said and meant it. Out of all his friends he had David and Wes, were the two he trusted the most. He could listen to them

oOoOo

When Blaine and Bryce walked into the apartment, Blaine quickly went and checked on Sere, paid the babysitter, walked her to the door, thanked her and then walked into the living room. Bryce was in there pacing looking completely pissed off. Blaine just stood there, head tipped sideways watching him.

“Do you realize how stupid you made me look tonight? You thanked everyone but your husband, what the fuck Blaine” Bryce said raising his voice, it took everything Blaine had not to laugh at the way he was acting.

“It’s funny how I have a husband when it is convenient for you,” Blaine said still not raising his voice.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Blaine, seriously?”

“Well it would seem to me that husbands spend time together, husbands talked on the phone, husband let their husbands know they are home, wait for them before walking the red carpet

“So, because I show up at the awards without you, that gave you the right to turn me into a laughing stock. I have to work with those people Blaine. And what the hell were you doing letting that reporter flirt with you and not say a damn thing. You just stood there and grinned like an idiot” Bryce said turning his back and started pacing again.

Blaine just grinned at this making Bryce more upset, and Blaine just wanted to laugh wondering how much longer he was going to put up with this, he was honestly over it. “I didn’t let him flirt with me, I showed up at an event alone, I had people asking me questions, doing interviews with me. If my husband had been there where he should have been, the guy probably wouldn’t have flirted, so how is it my fault Bryce” Blaine asked once again not even raising his voice.

“Forgive me for not waiting on you, for not holding your little hand” Bryce continued

“And forgive me because someone else decided I was worthy of flirty with, spending time with, talking too, I remember a time when my husband thought that.” Blaine said now getting mad but still not raising his voice.

“You know what Blaine I’m tired, I’m tired of dealing with this tired of dealing with you, I should have just gotten on a plane and headed back to the set instead of wasting time here with you.”

“What happened Bryce I don’t understand? We were doing good, we were a family and then you just started pulling away. Talk to me sweetheart; Help me understand any part of this. If I have done something wrong, if I haven’t done something I should have tell me, talk to me, so we can see if we can fix this” Blaine said no longer mad, but feeling hurt. They had been fine one day sitting on the couch holding each other, being a family and then over night it was over.

Bryce just looks at him, knowing that this was all his fault, because yes he was pulling away, he was regretting some of the decisions he had made, things he had done and it was easier to take it out on Blaine than to take credit for it. So instead he argues, he causes fights anything he can to push Blaine away.

“I need to go, my flight leaves in an hour and I am due back on set in the morning. When this is over I will come home and we can talk ok, work on us” Bryce said before hugging him for the first time in weeks, and then he is turning around and walking out the door.

When Wes and David came over the next morning they talked for hours, Blaine telling them how things started out, and how he still didn’t really understand what happened, what had changed Bryce from the sweet person he had met to the one he was now married too. It was almost like he changed overnight.

oOoOo

When Bryce’s movie wrapped he came home. He had been gone for a month and hadn’t called Blaine once, not even to check on Sere, and every time Blaine called him he was always too busy learning his lines, rehearsing, filming. When he came home the promised talk never happened, Blaine kept trying he finally went to bed a midnight giving up. He was so over this whole thing. He wasn’t going to beg him to talk. If he didn’t want this anymore he needed to say it and be done with it.

They had a major fight right before Bryce left for his next job, they hadn't seen each other in a month, and he was home for only one day and was leaving out again for Morocco. Blaine had finally had enough and told him. They had argued before, but Blaine had kept his promise he had made to Bryce when they first started dating. He would never raise his voice to him in anger again, and he hadn’t.

This time he did, Bryce had started cursing and screaming in front of Sere and Blaine had gone off. He hadn't spent more than 24 hours at a time with his husband in three of the four months they had been married, and they had also not been intimate in the last 2 months, and the last time had only happened because Blaine had gotten tired of waiting for Bryce to come home so he had booked a ticket for him and Sere to go to him.

Blaine was over it and went off. He had picked up Sere, carried her into her room, put her in her crib,  before going back to confront Bryce, telling him he needed to stay home, to pass up on this job and he refused.

“Bryce come on you just got home last night, you have been home less than twenty four hours, you haven’t said more than ten words to me or Sere since you got here.” Blaine said getting frustrated.

“Blaine, I have a job to do, we can’t all be trust fund babies who play at acting because they don’t really have to worry about ever working, I have to work, I don’t have that luxury.” Bryce said once again raising his voice.

“Playing at acting, “Playing at acting”, who has 2 screen actors guild awards, who has a teens choice award, all sitting in that awards cabinet right next to yours, other people don’t seem to think I am “playing at acting”, and I would be able to do more if you weren’t leaving all the time jetting here and there instead of staying home with your child and your husband” Blaine said his voice rising even more.

“You know what I mean Blaine, you don’t have to work, you don’t have to go from show to show, movie to movie to make sure you have enough money to pay your bills, you just had it handed to you. I do have to work. And as far as my child goes you are the one that wanted her”

“I am the one that wanted her; I am the one that wanted her “ Me ”.” Blaine looked at him like he had just lost his mind “No I am the person who woke up at 1am and got on a plane with you to fly to London, I am the one who was there to offer you support when your best friend died, I am the one who stepped in to help you with a child you had no idea what to do with. She is your biological child, yes I wanted her, but I thought that you wanted her too, you acted like you wanted her.”

“Damnit Blaine, I did want her, I do want her ” Bryce said sitting down with a sigh looking almost defeated

“Then stay with us, pass on this job, like you said, I am a trust fund baby who will never have to work. I have every penny of my earnings from “South of Always” I can take care of you and Sere, you can take a break. You have been working nonstop since you were 14” Blaine said sitting down beside him, rubbing his hand up and down his back, enjoying him being close again. He did miss him when he was gone even though this wasn’t some great big love for Blaine, he did care and miss him.

“Blaine I can’t just sit back and not do anything let you pay for everything. I have been working like you said most of my life. I have built a career, I have a fan base that is waiting for this next movie” Bryce said looking at him

“What about your fan base in this house Bryce, your husband and your daughter? We miss you when you are gone. When was the last time you were here to read Sere a book before she went to bed, give her a bath or just snuggled with her? When was the last time we got to spend some time together as a couple, go out on a date, snuggle on the couch, talk about our day, or even be intimate? Do you know how long it has been, it has been two months Bryce.” Blaine said looking at him

“That is all you think of Blaine sex. All we talk about is sex.” Bryce yelled again jumping up

"No Bryce it isn’t, we never talk about sex. I was just making a statement. If sex was all that was important I would have initiated it last night instead of trying to talk to you. If sex was all it was about I could get that anywhere. I want my husband, I want you home” Blaine said standing up too, looking at him shocked because it was true they never talked about sex because to Blaine that wasn’t all his relationship was about.

Yes he loved it when they were able to be intimate, and he did miss it, but he missed the companionship more, he missed having his husband there, being able to roll over and snuggle behind him at night, or feel Bryce snuggled behind him. If it was all about sex, he could take care of those things on his own, he almost smiled when he remembered back to when he was in high school and he had been in his room with Kurt how he had told him “that is why they invented masturbation”.

Things had been so much easier back then, life was better. He so missed that, what they had together, created together. Wishing for more than the hundredth times things could have been different. But mistakes had been made on both sides, and decisions made based on those mistakes.

He should never have had that thought, because now Kurt was in his thoughts again, not that he was really ever out of them especially at night when he was in bed alone, and he would lay there and think about the past, their time together how close they had been. Blaine was married to Bryce and it was still nowhere near as close as the connection he had, had with Kurt.

He thought of Kurt at night a lot, when he just wanted to find him and just hold him, kiss him, talk to him, he so missed just being able to pick up the phone and have a conversation with him. He still missed him so much, he missed his best friend and the closeness they had always had.

Eight months ago yesterday they had broken up, and here he was a husband to someone else and a father, but Kurt was forever on his mind, always right there on the edge. He had lost count of how many times he had woken up alone in his bed hard and hurting because of a dream he had had about Kurt, wondering, once again when he would stop thinking about him, loving him, and wanting him back so desperately, but he was married to Bryce. A decision he regretted daily, but a decision he had made on his own.

 He would love to be able to look into those blue eyes again and then lean in and kiss him the way he used too, but he had messed up twice in his life and cheated. He would never do that again. Hearing Bryce’s voice getting loud again snapped him out of his reverie

“Get it somewhere else Blaine!!!  Get it somewhere else damn .” Bryce said raising his voice again, almost screaming “Fine, if that is what you want fine, go and get it somewhere else, see if I fucking care, why don’t you go and get it from the wonderful Kurt, since I know you still love him, judging by the stupid videos you posted. I bet you even thought about him, when I was lying on my back under you and you were fucking my brains out"

"You know what Bryce, go to hell. I have never once thought of cheating on you, I haven't wanted anyone else since the first time we made love.” Blaine said now beyond mad and only slightly lying. Yes he did think of being with Kurt again, but would never act on it as long as he was married to Bryce

“Made love Blaine, made love, we didn’t make love because you don’t love me. You rammed your dick in my ass; I don’t see that as making love, we had sex. That is nothing but sex pure and simple” Bryce said pointing his finger in Blaine’s face.

Blaine just stands there staring at him, shocked and hurt. True, he didn’t love him, but he had always been gentle with him, he had never once been rough, and yes he considers it making love. He had also never once forced himself on him, if Bryce didn’t want it that was ok, he was fine just holding him, hence it being two months since the last time they had done anything, and they only had intercourse three times the whole four months they had been married.

Bryce seemed to be fine with everything else they did, but just wasn’t fond of penetration.  Blaine, who had never bottomed before, had always topped with Kurt, had bottomed once for Bryce to see if he would like it better, hoping at least that way they could have a normal sex life, but he hadn’t like that either. So Blaine contented himself with doing everything else that Bryce seemed to be ok with.

"I bet you said the same thing to Kurt before you cheated on him “I haven't wanted anyone else since the first time we made love” Bryce said in a whiney imitation of Blaine’s voice “Why don’t you go fuck him, oops make love to him, he is the one you love after all, because you sure as hell won’t be fucking me anytime soon"  Bryce said and then he turned around and walked out the door slamming it behind him, leaving Blaine shocked and confused wondering where the hell that had come from.

Bryce had changed since they got married or was finally starting to show his true colors either way Blaine was done....

That day Blaine went to a divorce lawyer, he signed papers to start the divorce process and since he was the only one that had been there for Sere since the day they got her he was going to fight for full custody. 

Thank goodness Blaine had listened to his dad before getting married, because even though it was a quick wedding they had both signed a pre nup so they were both protected. He would wait for Bryce to come home and serve him with the papers then. This was over he was so beyond done.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

 

Bryce never came home…

Blaine got a call in the middle of the night, letting him know that there had been an accident on set and Bryce had been killed.

When he got the call he was devastated. He had just lost his husband. No, he might not have loved him but he did care about him deeply. He took Sere to his mom's so he could fly to morocco to identify and claim the body and bring him home.

That had been the longest flight of his life, sitting there huddled in his seat crying. Thinking about the last ugly words they had spoken to each other, wishing with everything he had that they could just rewind and redo. But there was no going back now, Bryce, his Bryce was gone.

When he landed someone from the production team met him at the airport and took him to the hospital morgue where Bryce had been taken until Blaine could get there. He was shown the body and cried again. He still looked so beautiful.

From what he had been told they were filming a scene for the movie where Bryce was riding a horse, something he had done most of his life and loved to do. Something had spooked the horse and Bryce had been thrown. Before anyone could do anything the horse had bucked up and slammed into Bryce’s chest hard enough to kill him. From what the doctor told Blaine it was instant. He never felt anything.

They gave him a few minutes alone with Bryce. He just stood there rubbing his hand over his hair, kissing his forehead, still so in shock.

After he left the morgue he was taken to the US Embassy to start Repatriation, to get Bryce home. He was then taken to the movie set that Bryce had been working on, and to the lawyer for the production company. Blaine stood there in shock as the lawyer went on and on about waivers of liability and insurance policies;he then apologized for Blaine’s loss and passed him some forms he wanted him to sign.  

Blaine stared at him wondering if he was serious right now. He had just lost his husband and the jerk wanted him to sign some forms saying that the studio had no liability for the tragic accident , that Bryce had wanted to do the scene, not letting his stunt double do it.  Blaine refused, telling him to send everything to his lawyer who was also his dad Michael. 

Blaine was in no state of mind to sign anything not that he would have anyway without his dad looking them over first, and especially not after the way the lawyer acted. He would sign only after his dad had time to look them over. If everything looked in order  then he would sign, but not before then. 

He was finally given access to Bryce’s trailer so he could get any of his personal effects out, he wasn’t ready for that, how could anyone ever be ready for any part of this, he was still not believing any of this was real.

He went in, sat on the couch and broke down. When he finally got himself together he found Bryce’s duffle bag that he used to carry when they were still on the set of “South of Always” together. He unzipped it thinking he could pack most of his stuff in it.

When he looked down he saw the journal that Bryce had always written in since before they got married. He smiled thinking that at least he could have that, he could have some of Bryce’s memories, his thoughts, something he could pass on to Sere.

He opened it up and flipped to what he would have written the first day on the set, reading what he said and it made him smile.

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“Met Blaine today, I don’t know what it was about him, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He is cute and funny, and I really had a good time with him. I see us becoming good friends. His brother however is a complete nut”

Blaine could do nothing but laugh at this

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“We had our first kissing scene just now, I had to walk away, I felt things I have never felt before, not even with Shey. I never thought that was possible. I have loved her for so long and so hard. I am still not even sure how to move on from her. How do you say goodbye to the love of your life, move on with someone new. Plus Blaine is a man, a cute man but still a man. I am so very confused right now

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“Today, I did that tongue thing to Blaine when we were shooting one of our scenes. I have never done that to anyone but Shey. I am so lost and confused right now. He seems so very nice he really does. I had to walk away and think again, I guess I just needed to breathe. I just realized that I felt something for him, an attraction to him that I have never felt before, strangely not even with Shey”

Blaine just smiled feeling a tear as it rolled down his face. They had felt the same thing.

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“I went to Blaine’s after work today. I had to talk to him, to see if I could figure out what was going on. He is such a damn good kisser. He is so sweet and gentle. We talked for ever, he told me about Kurt or as I would say his Shey. But unfortunately, Kurt had done worse. I would never have thought that possible. He kissed me for real tonight. I thought the way he kissed on set was phenomenal, but in real life, doesn’t even come close. When I left I wanted him so badly.

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“I told my parents and the studio what I had figured out. I wanted Blaine; I had always had feelings in the back of my mind, feelings for different people I couldn’t understand, until this morning that is. I realized I was gay. I want to start something with Blaine if possible. I am scared though he isn’t going to want the same thing; he has been so hurt would he be willing to try again.

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“I woke up in Blaine’s bed this morning. I felt comfortable and safe. I wanted to stay there all day, but we both had to work, and I still needed to go home and change before work. Now I know what I have been missing all these years, Blaine had me so hard. We had fallen asleep, or at least I had fallen asleep leaning on his shoulder. When I woke up, I was laying down on the couch with this beautiful man's arms around me holding me so, so close. I loved it loved it. I stared at him for five minutes, just looking into that beautiful face.”

“I shifted and our cocks connected and I was instantly hard. I shifted my hips to try to get some kind of relief and managed to thrust into him again. OMG the feelings it sent up my spine. He was so sweet; he just told me that if I didn’t stop I would get more than I had bargained for. He just had no idea that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted him so badly. I didn’t really know what that meant, what that entailed, but I knew what I felt, I needed him.”

“I watched him fall back to sleep and honestly tried to go to sleep, but the feeling didn’t pass. I needed him to do something, what I didn’t really know but something. I pushed my hips against him again, and he took over from there. Oh wow. I have never felt like that before.”

“The things he could do just pushing his hips into me, feeling his hard cock on mine, thrusting onto me. I was done for. I could handle that. I was in heaven. I swear I came harder than I ever have, then seeing him come out of the shower, seeing that body, his beautiful body without a shirt on had me hard all over again. I waited until he fell asleep, then I went into his bathroom and had to take care of myself. I didn’t want to wake him up again. I didn’t want to push him away, make him feel like I was too needy when I had just gotten him.”

Blaine read this and cried. He wished Bryce had woken him up. He would have happily taken care of him. He had needed it too. Blaine reads through their first dates, the first time he had given Bryce a blowjob, the first time they had been intimate in the shower, coming so close to just taking him there with nothing but soap as lube, but he had deserved oh so much more for their first time together. Now more than ever he was glad they had waited.

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I made the mistake of pulling up Kurt’s YouTube page today; I just wanted to see if he had put anything new there. I was in shock, because no, he didn’t, but the next video that showed was from Blaine’s page, he had created a page, and uploaded two videos of him singing songs that could have only been meant for Kurt. The only saving grace on that was that they were uploaded before we became a couple. I hope he is over it, him. I couldn’t stand it if he isn’t

Blaine just stares, so that is what he meant during the argument right before he left, when he said he saw Blaine’s videos. Blaine wonders now if Kurt had seen them too.

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“I got a call this morning at 1am, asking if I knew someone named Shey Alexander, when I mumbled yes still almost asleep a woman went on to tell me she was Matron Abbot, from The Ashford hospital in London,  that they had a Shey Alexander in their hospital who had listed me as her emergency contact, asking if I knew her.

I sat bolt upright at this, waking Blaine up in the process. I said yes I knew her, she went on to let me know Shey, MY Shey had been a passenger in a car that had been hit by a drunk driver. If I wanted to see her, I needed to go to Ashford hospital in London, as quickly as possible. I sat there with tears running down my face, when Blaine saw me crying he pulled me into his warm arms and held me the whole time I listened to the worst news of my life.

Blaine was so awesome I couldn’t function couldn’t think of what I needed to do. He took care of everything; he got up, reserved a flight for us landing at Heathrow in eight hours. He packed himself a bag, and then helped me get dressed and then drove me to my apartment and packed me a bag as well, making sure to help me put on my special shirt, the one I always needed when I was nervous or upset. How he remembered I would need that I don’t know, he just always seems to know what to do and thinks of everything. He double checked that I had my passport and we were on our way.

He held my hand the whole way, even though I had learned early on that he wasn’t really big on pda. He never let me go. He let me sleep and cry on his shoulder. When we landed he got us a cab and got us to the hospital. Unfortunately, we got there thirty minutes to late. I lost her, I lost my sweet Shey. How am I supposed to survive this? Blaine just held me tight and let me cry it out.

My world then spun completely out of control when one of the nurses walked in with an infant, saying that she was Shey’s daughter, and that I was listed on the birth certificate as the father. I was advised that the baby had been in the car as well she had been checked out, and because she had been in a car seat at the time of the accident she was unhurt.

They ask for her safety if I could please show them my passport to verify I really was Bryce Mitchell. They matched the name on the passport with the one on the birth certificate, and then someone from the hospital legal department said everything was in order and then I was handed my passport back along with the baby and her birth certificate.  I just stood there staring not knowing what to do.

Blaine, sweet perfect Blaine took care of everything once again. He took the baby from me, gently placed her on his shoulder, before pulling me back into his arms again, and he just held me so tight he always made me feel so safe.

I was advised the babies name was Serene, and I had to laugh. When we had first met Me and Shey had been on location for a film being shot about the Serengeti. She loved that name, the people, and the area. She always said that if she ever had a daughter, she would name her Serene. She had done it too, had that little girl, named her Serene, but she had just forgotten to tell me.

I had a million things running through my mind trying to figure out if she was mine or not. We had broken up just under a year ago and Serene was 3 months old. She looked a lot like me, she was mine, I no longer had a doubt. Blaine once again was perfect. He worked with the US embassy to get her a passport; she had dual citizenship already, so we just had to wait two weeks for that before I could take her home. Thank god for Blaine knowing about kids. I am lost already.

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Blaine asked me to marry him today, it wasn’t some grand proposal like the one he had given Kurt. In the video, with Kurt I could tell he had put a lot of time and thought into it to make it special. I got “Let’s get married Sere needs a family, she deserves to have two people who love her”, but that’s ok, unlike Kurt I won’t walk away from him, we will get married, but, in the back of my mind I have to wonder if he would have asked, and would I have accepted if not for Sere. 

We haven’t been a couple that long, but he would really be a big help with her, he already is, it may not be love, but I really care about him and he is a good man, I don’t really think I will do any better.

My feelings for him grow more and more every day. I agreed. We aren’t having a big wedding we are going to get married while we are in London, we will simply go to the Magistrates office, have the ceremony, while we are waiting for Sere’s passport.

It is still so weird that she looks so much like Blaine. He could have been the father as much as me that will be good though, it will make us even more connected. He wants to adopt her so we will be a true family, we talked about it I think it will be good. I had always loved the name papa, so I am papa and Blaine is daddy, can’t get any more perfect than that.

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Blaine talked to his parents today while I talked to mine, we let them know about Sere, and that we are going to get married tomorrow, they were all in shock, wondering if we were moving too fast, but they were happy for us. Both sets of parents were ecstatic at the thought of being grandparents. Too bad none of our family can be here for it, but we can always have some kind of ceremony later.

I asked my dad if it was bigamy if I married Blaine since I was still technically married to Jennifer. When I had told Blaine that we ended when we were 16 because of the pressure and separation, I left out the part where Jennifer and I had gotten married. Our parents signed for it when we found out she was pregnant. Losing the baby and me not being around is what caused the separation.

When I got older I figured if I needed to later, I could worry about a divorce then. Dad says that since Jennifer was a girl, and Blaine a man, it wasn’t bigamy. I could marry him. I would be smart though to not say anything to Blaine about it. In that I knew my dad was right. I wanted to marry Blaine, because I really liked being with him and because he was so good with Sere. I don’t want to mess things up with him by talking about something that wasn’t important.

To me, I could legally marry him, and that is what I plan on doing…

Blaine just sat there in shock, staring at the journal, at those words, those stupid words written there. He wasn’t married; he had never technically been married. He had wasted six months of his life on someone who wasn’t worth it, between the two months they had dated and the four they were “married”. How could Bryce have been so stupid to think just because Jennifer was a girl and Blaine a man, that them being married wasn’t bigamy. How could he really have been that completely stupid? Blaine was so beyond pissed.

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Blaine’s dad was smart; he worked with a solicitor here in London, and they created a pre nup for us which was the smartest thing I could have done, that way if Blaine gets pissed, he can’t take me for everything I have.

Blaine just looked at this, rereading it getting pissed off even more. That Bryce would think he would ever take advantage. Especially knowing he had more money than him anyway.

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Yesterday morning we got married. It was nice, well; Blaine made it as nice as possible. I am still so sad after losing Shey, but I know I have to move forward, move on if not for myself then for my daughter.

We ate lunch and then spent the rest of the day playing tourist. He had been here four years ago with his parents and showed me several of the places he had loved. He even thought to buy a stroller for Sere, he is already a wonderful daddy for her, I feel like I have made the right decision in marrying him, well until last night that is.

Last night was our wedding night, I am not really sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that for sure. I have really enjoyed everything me and Blaine have done up until last night. Looking back on the first time we did anything together I have to laugh at how innocent I was when I asked is that all there was to sex between two men. He had given me a small laugh and sweetly said no, that I wasn’t ready for anything more yet.

Everything we had done from there had been this sweet progression. He was always thoughtful, kind and patient with me, teaching me things, showing me love. He was perfect. Last night however, we were a married couple, it was our wedding night. We stopped at a drug store and he bought condoms and lube. I understood the condoms, I have been using them since the first time I had had sex, but the lube I didn’t really understand. Now I do.

I didn’t like it at all, it felt wrong, and how could he like doing that, it felt so unnatural. He enjoyed himself, I could tell by the noises he was making. He was gentle and took his time explaining to me the whole time what he was doing and why. He took a lot of time with what he called the prep, and then, when he thought I was stretched (as he called it) enough, he climbed on top of me and entered me.

It hurt so bad, even though he went slow it still hurt. How can anyone put themselves through something like that over and over, I have made a big mistake, I can’t do this it just feels so unnatural.

He woke me up at 3 am this morning, wanting it again. He had me on my knees this time, entered me slower, I guess knowing I would be sore from last night, it was a little easier but I still didn’t like it. How do you tell your new husband you don’t like having sex with him?

Blaine was in shock, Bryce had finally told him four days after they were married that he didn’t like it, he didn’t think he could do it again. Blaine had just assumed they would wait a while and try it again. Bryce had never told him it felt unnatural.

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We have been married for six days and everything is so perfect. Blaine is attentive to both me and Sere. He always seems to hear her cry before me at night, so he gets up and takes care of her and just lets me sleep. He is more amazing than I thought he was, he can make Sere stop crying simply by picking her up. I love watching him sing to her, he has the most amazing voice.

He is kind and caring and takes such good care of both of us. He is amazing and I honestly think I am falling in love with my husband. I have to smile at that word husband. He is so perfect; I know I made the right decision marrying him.

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Oh hell what have I done? He wanted it again last night; I thought maybe he was over it. We had gone back to the sweet stuff we had been doing up until we got married, but last night he said he wanted to try something else, to see if I liked it any better. I finally had to be honest with him to let him know that I didn’t really enjoy it.

Last night he decided that I would do what he called topping. I prepped him the way he had done to me, this would be his first time at this too, he had always topped every time. I got him prepped until he said he was ready and then I entered him slowly, trying to be as gentle with him as he was with me. I started moving and it did feel a little better that way but I still didn’t like it, he seemed to enjoy it a lot, judging by the moans he made, and the way he moved under me.

Once he went to sleep, I went to the bathroom and threw up. That whole thing was wrong, how can he like any part of that. How can he enjoy doing that so much? What in the hell have I done. I can’t do this anymore.

Blaine just sat there and stared at what he just read shaking his head, he had no idea Bryce had felt like that. He knew that he wasn’t fond of it, but didn’t know he had thrown up after, that he had been that repulsed having sex with him. He had always tried to be caring and gentle.

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Me and Blaine have finally settled into our relationship, we both decided we needed a bigger apartment when we got home. We found this amazing two bedroom not far from where Cooper lives which is good because I love that area. Blaine has spent so much time on the nursery for Sere. He is crazy about that little girl already. I wish I could say the same.

I feel nothing for her at all. I have never really wanted kids, always told anyone that asked that I would never have any. He just babies her, I am really just wishing I hadn't married him, but I knew that if I didn’t I would be dealing with this on my own. I couldn’t put Shey’s baby into the system, knowing how bad she had had it, so when Blaine asked I jumped on it. I was stupid….

 We have gone back to just doing the things we were doing before we got married and he seems ok with it. We are intimate more often since we are living together now, sometimes I really just want to roll over and go to sleep, but, since I am not really giving him all he wants, I feel I can lay there and take it. Normally it feels good anyway, and he always makes sure to get me off.

Blaine sets up straight reading that again. Take it; take it, he just took it? What the hell. Most of the time Blaine had only done things because it seemed like Bryce wanted to. There were many times he had done stuff when all HE wanted to do was roll over and go to sleep; he loved taking care of Sere, but taking care of an infant on your own can tire a person out quickly.

Bryce never really got into the co-parenting thing and was happy to just sit back and let him get up several times a night, was happy to let Blaine change every single diaper, feed her every bottle. Blaine couldn’t believe he had just read that, that Bryce had the nerve to write that.

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We sat down and talked to a lawyer today, Blaine decided he wanted to update his will and add me as the beneficiary for all his accounts and his life insurance policy; he did have his parents listed. He also had it put in that Sere got ¼ of his net worth should something happen to him and the rest would come to me.

I have never seen so many zeros on a financial statement. I knew Blaine had money but damn. I thought the pre nup was a good thing for me, but now I know it was protecting Blaine especially since in the state of California, I could almost wipe him out.

I went ahead and created a will leaving all my worldly goods to Blaine, knowing he would take care of Sere always.

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How the hell did he win the people’s choice award over me. I have been acting since I was fucking 14 years old; he walked in off the street because of his stupid brother and stumbled on a good role, because he sure as hell isn’t an actor. I was upset when he got nominated with me for the same role, pissed off when he wouldn’t refuse the nomination, but I never would have thought he would beat me out of it. I work hard at my craft and he just plays at it. I don’t understand at all I mean WTF for real. If it wasn’t for me being his husband he wouldn’t get near the commercials he is oh so proud to do, he just doesn’t fucking realize he is just riding on my coat tails.

Blaine just sat there staring, riding on his coattails, playing at acting. Wow

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Since the show has wrapped and we now have Sere we decided that one of us would always stay home with her. If one of us was going to be on location with a project, the other would not do anything that would take them away from home; we would just keep it to local productions.

I got a call before he did, so I left out for Texas for a two week shoot. I love it here, and to be honest love the separation from him and her. How and when did my life start to suck this bad. I so regret him and her. I wish I could just walk away. I really am starting to hate them both, but the good thing I can say about Blaine is that I have a built in babysitter.

I could have been stuck dealing with that little brat on my own. I have started staying away from home more and more, staying away from him. He gets on my last nerve I swear. I purposely pick fights with him so I don’t have to talk to him. I love to sit back and see just how many buttons I can push, how far I can push him. 

I so want to laugh, he isn’t getting any, I have purposely stayed away and not letting him touch me to see how long it takes him to cheat, perfect reasons for a divorce right? Plus there was a clause in the pre nup that said if he cheated on me I got paid the amount I would have gotten if we made it for ten years. 

So if I play my cards right, completely cut him off eventually he will cheat. I am doing the same things he said Kurt did  ignoring his calls, not that I want to talk to him anyway, refusing to skype with him. Lets see how far I can let this go, how quick I can make him cheat. I get my divorce and get paid for doing it.  

If Blaine hadn’t already started hating Bryce before the accident, before he read this he would have now. All the fights they had, putting his life on hold. The months Blaine had sat at home when he could have been doing something to make himself happy with someone he loved. He knows he should have ended it sooner, but he was really trying to make them work

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I ran into Jessica yesterday, our first day on the set, and man….. She was hotter than I remember. We did this kissing scene and wow, we ended up back in my trailer and I took her like a crazy man. We ended up doing it twice in my trailer and then I took her to my room and we did it all night long. I have so missed that, plowing into her. She had always enjoyed it rough and I gave it to her hard.

The funny thing was that at one point I rolled her over on her knees and entered her from behind. Luckily I had some lube with me, it sure as hell didn’t feel like the time I took Blaine, I came harder than I ever had.

He cheated, Blaine thought we had been married a month and a half and he cheated on me. His hatred of Bryce just grew more. He can’t believe he had wasted 4 months of his life with him, Blaine wasn’t hurt or really upset about the cheating itself but the time he had spent in a marriage he had daily grown to hate. If he had known he would have asked for a divorce sooner. The only thing that stopped him was Sere, trying to keep her family whole.

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I have managed to always have a job lined up so I don’t have to go home to him or his daughter for more than a day at a time. I don’t feel like she is mine, I feel no connection with him or her. I have talked to a lawyer and have decided to file for divorce and give him full custody; I also need to change my will leaving everything to my parents again. He has enough money he sure as hell doesn’t need mine. Once the divorce is final I want no part of either one of them again. I wish I hadn’t jumped into this marriage or whatever the hell you want to call this sham I am living.

Me and Jessica are getting closer, even if she isn’t in the particular project I am on, she always manages to be where I am. It caused a tricky situation for me last month though. I had planned on going to her room when I was done on set, she came over and talked to me, and she left me horny as hell, I was so looking forward to screwing her brains out. I went to my motel room only to find Blaine there. He apparently had gotten tired of waiting on me to decide to come home so he came to see me.

I had to go into the restroom to cancel Jessica, and when I came out, he had put Sere in her stroller he wanted to talk. He just kept saying that he missed me at home, missed us spending time together, wasn’t I ready to come home yet, didn’t I miss us. He then started kissing me gently at first, rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to be this loving husband

I could feel him starting to get turned on and then he was kissing me deep and hard, pushing me back against the wall, thrusting his hips against me kissing me on my neck the whole time. I can’t believe I ever liked him doing that, ever felt anything, because now… I hated it, hated every second of it, almost as much as I was starting to hate him. I played my part though, acted like I was into it, like I wanted it.

He really seemed to enjoy himself, kept whispering “come for me baby” in my ear, I so just wanted to laugh at this, he slid his hand between me and the wall squeezing my ass, pulling my hips closer, increasing the pressure from his hips. He soon picked me up and carried me to the bed, I guess he wasn’t getting the friction he wanted standing up, so he put me on the bed and was all over me.

He started humping me faster, he kept whispering come on baby, cum for me, cum for me baby and then he was coming with almost a guttural scream, thank god it didn’t take him long, probably since it had been a while since I had let him touch me, I have to almost laugh at that I am banging Jessica almost daily, and Blaine is sitting at home being a good little boy, with nothing but his own hand to hold him.. 

He did finish me off with a blowjob though he had always been amazing at that, so I was finally able to cum. He wanted to cuddle with me afterwards and I just wanted him to get the fuck off of me. I need to end this soon. I can’t keep doing this.

I need to tell him I am not gay, that when he fucked me the two times he did and the one time he made me fuck him it just creeped me out, the thought of him touching me makes my skin crawl. I know I am not gay, I don’t even know what made me think I was. But I have been with Jessica for months, and as soon as I can get out of this hell they call marriage, I am going to move in with her, and have a normal life again, one that didn’t include a husband or a baby, now to figure out how to do that.

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We had this massive fight before I left this time, he talked about us being intimate, “We haven’t been intimate in 2 months” blah, blah, blah why does he says intimate for. Call it what it is... sex. He tries to make it sound better than it is, like it is this loving thing. It isn’t, I hate him even touching me, but so love teasing, making him think he was going to get lucky, I have been playing this game for 2 months, wonder how long I can push it, push him, until he finally cracks and cheats..

I try not to be with him any more than I have to. I am over him and her…… I told him to go fuck Kurt; I can still see his face and just want to laugh.

I have two weeks to film in Morocco, two weeks away from them, two weeks I can just spend sinking into Jessica. Oh this is going to be a wonderful two weeks ;-}

Blaine stared at the last entry in the book, the words according to the date had been written the morning of his accident. Blaine threw the journal across the room, his hate now complete. He had never hated anyone in his life, not even the guys that had beat him up after the Sadie Hawkins dance. But he hated Bryce, hated the time he had wasted on him. The only good thing that came out of his marriage that come to find out wasn’t a marriage at all was Sere.

Blaine went over picked up the journal, he would destroy it when he got home, he would never allow his daughter to read the words written. He didn’t want her to know the kind of papa she had had. Thank god they had gotten the adoption process completed right after they got home from London, Sere was legally his.

He walked up to the production assistant, told her there was nothing of Bryce’s he wanted, she could let Jessica in to see if she wanted it. He managed to get everything set up to get Bryce home, not that he really cared anymore. There were no feelings left for him at all.

He decided he would let Bryce’s parents handle funeral arrangement; he would pay for it but wanted nothing else to do with it. He wouldn’t be there, letting the paparazzi take pictures of the grieving husband.

He went to see them when he got back to California. He told them because they knew of the marriage between Bryce and Jennifer, knew that they were still legally married, and hadn’t said anything when they had called from London to let them know him and Bryce were getting married, or didn’t have the decency to tell him when he got home, then Blaine was done with them.

They were no longer Sere’s grandparents; they would no longer have any connection to her at all. He went on to let them know that him and Bryce had had long conversations about how they had always used his money, the money he earned as their own, how they had almost made him beg for everything he wanted.

He then told him that per Bryce’s will he got everything from his estate, Bryce had left them nothing.  He was putting every penny into a trust for Sere, that they would have no access to it; they would have to learn to survive on their own. All income that had been being paid out to them would be ending.  They would no longer have any connection with Sere. She would no longer associate with the Mitchell’s; they would never see her again.

Once he walked away from the Mitchells, he went back to his apartment, packed a bag. He was going to his parents to pick up his girl. The minute he got on the plane, he knew what he was going to do, he was going home, he just hoped it wasn’t too late.

“Kurt, it’s Blaine can we talk…..”

 

A/N: Ok that will be the last update on this story this week. I need to try to update one of the other two I am working on. Thank you for reading, and for the reviews.

 

Chapter Text

 

 

oOoOo

Kurt couldn’t believe just how stupid he had been. He had ended it with Blaine, he had pushed him away one too many times and this time Blaine was through, he wasn’t coming back. Kurt had always thought in the back of his mind Blaine would just be there waiting for him to come back, that he would be ready to get back together when Kurt was. He realized too late just how wrong he had been when he had gotten back to Lima.

He had heard that Blaine and Rachel had both gone back to Ohio, Blaine to coach the Warblers, and Rachel trying to revamp the New Directions, he took a break from school and followed them. He had wanted to be where they were, he was hoping that if he was there too, he could somehow win Blaine back, somehow work things out, the way they had always worked things out before.

When he had found out that Blaine was with Dave, he realized how wrong he had been, he had just never seen the possibility that Blaine would date someone else, let alone move in with them. Blaine had always just been Kurt’s and he had always thought he would stay that way, why he didn’t know. Blaine was too good of a person to be alone, he deserved someone to treat him as special as he was, in a way that Kurt now realizes he never had.

He misses Blaine and the way they used to be, the way they could talk about anything or just sit quietly together saying nothing, just being them. He hated the distance between them now, the distance he had created. Nothing felt right anymore, there was a tension between them that had never been there before. A quiet silence that just felt so wrong.

They had seemed to be getting close again, especially after Sue had locked them in her fake elevator that kiss they had shared had been magical, almost up there with the first kiss they had ever shared, back when everything was so new and they had been so nervous. He can still remember the feeling of Blaine’s lips on his, wishing with all his heart he could feel them again.

After they got out of the elevator, they seemed to somehow reconnect, they were talking, joking again and anytime they were together Blaine always hugged him goodbye. After Rachel’s house party, when he had walked with Blaine outside they had kissed, and just like that Kurt was home, everything seemed so perfect. He had loved the feeling of being back in Blaine’s arms again, knowing if he ever got the chance he would never leave them again.

When he had heard a few days later that Blaine and Dave had broken up, he had been hopeful, hoping that they would be able to talk everything out, manage to fix them again, get back to where they were. He knew it would take a lot of work to get Blaine to trust him again, and that was time he would willingly spend. He remembered after they had gotten back together the first time, after Blaine had cheated, he had always told Kurt that if their time apart had taught him anything, it was that nothing was worth them being apart again, Kurt felt the same. He would never do anything to break them apart again if he ever got Blaine back.

When they had made love, Kurt had wanted to cry, it had been so perfect, Blaine had been so sweet, caring and gentle, he had fallen in love with him all over again, everything looked like it was going to work out until Blaine had pulled out of him and walked away to the bathroom. Blaine had always wanted to cuddle after, but this time he had just walked away. He brought Kurt back a wash rag which threw him as well,  Blaine had always wanted to be the one to clean him off, lovingly taking care of him, a lot of times kissing his stomach afterwards, those were his first signs that something was very wrong.

When Blaine had sat down, he wouldn’t look at him, just kept rubbing his hand over his face, when he had finally asked if everything was ok Blaine had said “Not really Kurt that should never have happened, we should not have done that, it was a mistake.”

Kurt had never once thought of anything that they had done, could ever be considered a mistake, especially making love, but in that instant his world ended, his Blaine wasn’t his anymore. If he hadn’t known it before that moment he knew it then. It had been magical and perfect, until it was over and Blaine had looked at him and said it had been a mistake.

He didn’t see Blaine again, he heard that he had turned in his two week notice and left town, he didn’t even say goodbye, he had just left. Kurt had stayed and helped Rachel get the new direction back up and running, and then he had headed back to New York, back to the life he had once wanted and thought was so important. More important than his relationship with his boyfriend, now he would trade everything if it meant he could have Blaine back again.

oOoOo

When he got back to New York, Kurt went back to NYADA, he was only taking two classes this semester, so he also went back to Vogue working for Isabelle again he immersed himself in his job, but nothing felt the same, nothing would ever feel the same again, he had lost Blaine for good. He had finally pushed him too far and there was no coming back from that. He could understand it, he really could, but it didn’t make any easier to deal with.

Two weeks after he had come home, Rachel had come by on her way back from California heading home to Lima, after shooting a commercial in California, she told him she had seen Blaine, she said he was looking good, and was working on a show with his brother Cooper. He seemed to be in a really good place, he seemed happy. She then told him that Blaine had asked her to tell Kurt hi for him, this had filled Kurt with hope, Blaine was thinking about him still.

The week of their anniversary, the first one they would be spending apart, he had felt so very down. He had created a YouTube channel; he had been trying to figure out a way he could fight for Blaine. When they had broken up the first time, Blaine had always done little things to let Kurt know that he still loved him that he still wanted him, was still thinking about him, he had fought to get Kurt back

Kurt wanted to do the same thing; he wanted to fight to get Blaine back. He created a YouTube channel dedicated to him, well them. He had posted a video telling Blaine how much he meant to him, how he would do anything to win him back, he posted it on their Anniversary. He didn’t know if Blaine would see it but he wanted to do something, he had to try, he needed Blaine back in his life, his world was just wrong without him being it it.  

He felt hopeful that that might be possible when he had stumbled across Blaine’s YouTube channel, he saw the videos that he had posted, knowing that they had been put on there for him he had watched them over and over crying like a baby, wondering for the millionth time how he could have just walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him, which made him cry even harder.

In the back of his mind he had held out hope, Blaine was thinking about him, Blaine had sent him a message. Yes he might not be ready to talk yet, but he was reaching out in his own way to let Kurt know he still thought about him. 

Kurt carried that hope in his heart until that is, he read on the cover of every single magazine he saw, including Vogue, and saw on every TV channel, and news outlet that Blaine Anderson and Bryce Mitchell had gotten married. He then went on to read how Blaine intended to adopt Bryce’s daughter that he had just learned he had, Kurt was devastated and he was finally forced to give up hope. He had lost Blaine for good. He honestly didn’t know how he was going to survive it. Blaine had been his for four years, and now, he was lost to him forever.

Kurt had gone back to Lima to be with Rachel when it was time to watch the people’s choice awards, he had heard that Blaine would be performing and just couldn’t miss it, but couldn’t stand to watch it alone, he needed someone there.

It had been so long since he saw him sing, the last time had been their duet at Rachel’s. He watched as Blaine walked out on stage, he looked at the camera and smiled that smile that Blaine had always saved for him alone, his smile and Kurt couldn’t stop the tear from streaming down his face. He hurt so bad thinking of all he had given up, pushed away from fear. Instead of just talking to Blaine explaining how he felt, so they could work it out, he had ended them

Kurt almost turned the TV off, honestly not knowing if he would be able to sit there and watch it, but Rachel had stopped him. She knew that he would regret if he didn’t finish the show. He smiled when he heard the beginning chords of the song Blaine started playing on the piano, smiling his smile into the camera before he stood up and the curtains open and he watched as all the original Warblers walked out in their uniforms, handing Blaine a blazer to put on, and then they got into the standard Warbler formation and helped Blaine finish singing “Teenage Dream” the song that had started everything, Blaine doing all the facial expressions he had fallen so in love with that day.

He about fell off of his seat as he watched Blaine step up to the mic, take the blazer back off and say “That’s for you Nemo, hope you liked it”, and then he winked at the camera. Kurt really couldn’t believe what he had heard. He knew in that instant that Blaine was talking to him, only the two of them would understand the meaning of Nemo, he sat there in shock with his mouth open, before a smile spread across his cheeks.  That is when Kurt sees the bracelet on his left arm, the bracelet he had placed there when they had gotten engaged. He had wanted something for Blaine to wear and he knew a bracelet would fit his personality more than a ring would.

When Kurt had placed it on his wrist Blaine had leaned over and placed the softest sweetest kiss on Kurt’s lips he promised he would never take it off, he would wear it always. After the breakup he had taken it off after all, that had been one of the things he noticed the night he had met Blaine at Scandals. He no longer wore the bracelet.

Kurt’s heart had broken a little that day, wondering if Blaine had thrown it away, gotten rid of it like it meant nothing.  Kurt couldn’t really blame him, he after all had taken off his engagement ring, but he had put it somewhere safe, he had put it back in the box it came in and placed it and the chewing gum wrapper promise ring Blaine had made for him in high school in the top drawer of his dresser, so he always knew where it was and he knew that it was safe. That ring still meant something to him, it was important.

He didn’t know why seeing that bracelet on Blaine’s arm again made him so happy, he was still married and therefore still out of Kurt’s reach. He knew that Blaine had learned his lesson about cheating the hard way and he would never do it again.

Him and Rachel continued watching the show, they cheered when Blaine won his award, and Kurt’s mouth flew open again when he walked up to the mic and thanked his parents, his brother and little girl, but then looked into the camera and said “To my friends who have always been there for me, and Nemo, you know who you are” and then held up the trophy. He noticed right away that he hadn’t mentioned Bryce at all.

“Who is Nemo” Rachel asked him looking confused.

“I’m not sure” Kurt said, that nickname was something special between the two of them, and he couldn’t share it with anyone not even Rachel. It meant too much.

He proudly watched as Blaine walked up and accepted his second award of the night, looking shocked, like he didn’t deserve it. Blaine had always been a really good actor, he remembers when he played Tony in Westside story, he had been so good, and Kurt still stands by what he said that day, that he made the perfect Tony.

He had watched him perform short skits in some of NYADAs plays. Then there was the work he had done on South of Always. He deserved that award, and figured everyone but Blaine knew it. He had just had that thought when the camera had panned over to Bryce, Kurt could have sworn he saw a look of almost hatred cross his face before he quickly replaced it with a big fake smile.

oOoOo

Kurt woke up to his alarm blaring a country song. Why…. He doesn’t listen to country but that was definitely a country that was playing

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind

And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share?
Oh, I'm already there
Oh, I'm already there

He was trying to roll over and find the button to turn off the alarm when the song finally ended, and the DJ started talking.

“We are sending that out to the family of Bryce Mitchell, it was confirmed this morning by a spokesperson for the family, that Mr. Mitchell was killed in an accident while filming a scene for his most recent movie. He leaves behind his husband Blaine Anderson, his seven month old daughter Sere and his mom and dad. The family have asked for privacy during this difficult time, our thoughts are with you all.” the DJ stated

Kurt bolts up into a sitting position and quickly reaches for his TV remote. He turns on fox news, not believing this. “We are saddened by the loss of one of our favorite actors. It has been confirmed by the manager of Blaine Anderson, that his husband has been killed in an onset accident. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Blaine, their seven month old daughter and the rest of the family. Mr. Anderson’s manager has requested privacy for the family at this time as they deal with tragedy and try to make sense of it.”

After the announcement they started showing different scenes from the different movies and shows that Bryce had been in, one of the clips they show was one that Blaine had been in with him while they were still filming South of Always, they seemed to have so much chemistry.

Kurt had watched every single episode of that show; it had let him see Blaine again. He had looked so happy. Kurt cried for him, because even though Blaine was no longer his, he hated the pain he must be going through right now, wishing he could be there for him, be his friend again, but he knows that will likely never happen again.

He had pushed Blaine away, broke up with him and broke his heart. He thinks back to that night over and over and wonders every time how he could have been that stupid to just let him go, to walk away from the best thing he had ever had in his life. He wonders how he hadn’t learned his lesson after their time apart when they had broke up the first time. He had been so miserable, so alone.  But no like an idiot he had broken up with him again. No wonder Blaine couldn’t take a chance on him again, couldn’t trust him who could blame him.

He watched the rest of the broadcast that showed Blaine walking through the airport looking devastated, head down not looking at the cameras, ignoring all the questions that the paparazzi where asking him. He just kept walking.

Kurt was in shock, he got up and ran to his computer and everything on his homepage was stories about the death of Bryce Mitchell, and pictures of Blaine looking so lost and in shock, but also to someone who knows him as well as Kurt does, and knows his facial expressions, he looked pissed off.  That wasn’t a look he had expected. The lost, shocked look yes but the pissed off look….

Kurt had only seen that look twice on Blaine’s face, but would always remember when and what had caused it. The first time he had seen that look on Blaine’s face had been after he had found the text messages from Chandler on Kurt’s phone. He had looked at Kurt shocked, betrayed, hurt and yes pissed, not understanding, and then he had turned around and left Kurt’s room.

Looking back on it now he knows that if he had seen those text messages on Blaine’s phone he would have been pissed off too, and also looking back, he could see Blaine’s point of view, because it had been of form of cheating, now that he was older and more mature, he could see it.

Another time he had seen that look was the night they had broken up for the second time, once again he had looked so hurt, not understanding, and trying his best not to cry. He had just stared at Kurt in disbelief; with a look of shock on his face that had shifted into a pissed off look, before he had stood up and walked away. Kurt knew how much that had destroyed Blaine, and wishes he could take it back. Both times the reason for that look had been him, he had been the cause.

After the awards show, after watching the way they seemed to act around each other, he had wondered if something was wrong with them. Most people probably didn’t notice anything off but Kurt had spent 3 almost 4 years just looking at Blaine’s face, learning his every mood, every expression. Looking now at Blaine and seeing that pissed off look, he knows that it isn’t all sadness that makes him keep his head down, he is pissed off, and angry as hell.

He sat there for 30 minutes contemplating calling him, Rachel had said that Blaine had mentioned his number was the same, he knew he could call him, but he didn’t want to bother Blaine when he was going through so much, he wanted to give him a little time to deal with everything, but he also wanted to reach out to him and let him know he is thinking about him. He had another idea.

Kurt stood up, with tears streaming down his face. He picked up his phone and called Isabelle to let her know he wouldn’t be working today, explaining to her why. He took a shower, dressed and fixed his hair; He went into the office he had made out of Rachel’s old room when she had left for California, and he turned on his camera.

After Kurt had seen Blaine’s YouTube videos he knew Blaine had found his channel. In that moment he knew what he was going to do. He knew the best way to reach Blaine.

“I am sending this out to my best friend, he suffered a devastating loss recently and I want him to know I am thinking about him, and he is in my thoughts as he deals with everything going on around him. I am here if you need me, forever and always, your Nemo”

He carries his camera still running into the living room and sits down on the bench of the piano Blaine had bought him. He had surprised him with a thank you gift when him and Sam had come for his audition for NYADA. He was ok on the piano, he knew he would never be as good as Blaine but he can handle this.

He starts singing the song that Rachel and Sam had song that night at the party, knowing the words fit his thoughts so well.

If you’re lost, you can look
and you will find me
Time after time

If you fall I will catch you
I will be waiting
Time after time

If you’re lost, you can look
and you will find me
Time after time

if you fall I will catch you
I will be waiting
Time after time

He feels the tears as they start slowly running down his face, thinking back to the times they had sat around this piano, having so much fun, spending time together, and Kurt once again wishes it could happen again now. What he would give to make that possible.

Flashback, warm nights
almost left behind
Suitcase full of memories
Time after time

He finishes up the song and then looks into the camera one more time. “You are in my heart now and always. I am sending you a big hug, and I am here if you need me, I love you”. He cuts off the camera and walks back into the office, hooks it up to his laptop and starts editing the video he had just created and then started the upload. It showed it would take about 10 minutes.

Once it was edited, he posts it to his channel, and now it is up to Blaine. He walked into his bedroom and pulls a box out of the closet. A box that he had always kept private, no one but him had ever seen what was inside. He opens the lid and pulls out his crown from prom, and his scepter, remembering how he had felt that night, it had almost destroyed him, he had thought everything was so much better, and then that.

Blaine had been so perfect, he had followed him out running to catch up with him, not ashamed to be with him. He had always seemed proud of him. When Dave had said he couldn’t dance with him, Blaine had stepped up, held out his hand and asked for the honor of that dance. Kurt had known just what that meant, knew just how scared Blaine must have been after everything he had gone through at the last dance he had attended, but he just couldn’t leave Kurt standing out there alone.

The next thing he pulled out was their pictures from that night, the official one and the one one of his friends had snapped right as the balloons started falling and Blaine had him in his arms. He had even saved a few of the streamers and a balloon from that night, he had put them in a zip lock bag.

He looks through all the pictures of him and Blaine, sectional, regionals and when they had won nationals, and then them standing side by side heads pressed together with Kurt in his cap and gown. Looking at that picture noticing for the first time a small tear running down Blaine’s face. He remembers how scared Blaine had been of him leaving, thinking it would somehow break them up, that Kurt would give up.

He had thought it was stupid at the time, until that actually happened. He got so involved in his new life, for a while he lost sight of his old one and what was really important.

In the very bottom of the box what he had been really looking for. Before Kurt left for New York, Blaine had created a scrapbook for him of their times together. He had saved every ticket stub from every movie they had gone to. A receipt from every restaurant they had eaten at, memory after memory of them, their love, their life together

He thinks back to one of the videos Blaine had posted, wondering just how hurt he must have been to even post it, hearing the words circling around his head

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And in that instant, looking at the scrap book at every piece of them Blaine had saved it hits him harder than he could have ever realized, Blaine would have followed him anywhere, done anything for him, Blaine had once told Kurt that he was his person, the one person he had been meant to find, to be with. He would never give up on him, on them, but Kurt had pushed him away one too many times and he finally had, he gave up. “ Say something, I'm giving up on you”  Kurt lays down on his bed curls into a ball and cries his eyes out.

After he was cried out, he dries his tears and stands up, puts everything back in the box, puts the lid back on and puts it back into his closet. He goes over to his dresser and opens the top drawer and pulls out first his promise ring, opening up the top of the box he had always kept it in so it wouldn’t get damaged. Looking at the bow tie ring made of juicy fruit gum wrappers, he smiles remembering when he had given it to him and the promises he had made that day, promises he had always kept.

It hits him, that that was something else Blaine had kept. Blaine didn't like juicy fruit gum and never chewed it, Kurt always had. He had saved the wrappers from Kurt’s gum until he had enough to make that ring. One other thing he had done to show Kurt just how much he meant to him, Kurt cries again. 

He pulls out his engagement ring and slips it back on. Remembering how Blaine had worked so hard to make that day perfect for him. The kiss they had shared on their spot on the Dalton steps, rose petals slowly falling down around them, had been magical. When he had slipped the ring on his finger he had kissed it almost sealing it on his finger.

He takes the ring back off, puts it back in its box, and then puts both rings back in his drawer and slides it closed. He stretches his arms over his head and then heads to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, adding a splash of cream and cinnamon into it the way Blaine had always drank his, he sat down and just let his mind drift.

When he hears his phone ring he waits for a minute before standing up, not really wanting to talk to anyone right now still feeling so emotionally raw, and figuring it was only Rachel anyway, but he finally stands up and heads to his bedroom where he had left his phone, he walks over and grabs it and can do nothing but stare at the display and the name showing on it.

“Hello” Kurt almost whispered

“Kurt, its Blaine can we talk…..”



A/N: Songs in this book are time after time - by Cindy Lauper, I’m Already there- by Lonestar and Say Something I’m giving up on you my- By Great Big World and Christina Agulara. Thanks for all the reviews I have gotten, they help more than you know.

Chapter Text

A/N: Thank you for the reviews on my story, they mean a lot and help me as well. Hope you enjoy this chapter. It is a little longer that normal

 

 

Blaine was setting in the plane on the runway just waiting for it to take off, he was ready to get his girl. He had missed her. He knows that she has only been part of his life for 4 months but he feels like he has always had her. He pulls out his phone, when he gets a text alert. Looking down at it he realizes it is an alert from YouTube letting him know that Kurt had posted an update to his channel.

When he had first been sent the link on what would have been their 4 year anniversary, at first he had watched it, cried and then got upset. After everything settled down and he was spending more and more time alone in his apartment with just the baby he had gotten to where he pulled up Kurt’s page a lot. Watching every video available, he had even gone so far as to register under a different email account so Kurt wouldn’t know he was a follower.

He had been watching his channel off and on since the first video posted. It was his way of staying connected to the person who had always been his best friend, and no matter what had been said or done he always would be.

He watched the newest video Kurt had uploaded, listening to the words he said, that meant so much to Blaine. He then smiled Kurt’s smile when he watched him walk into the living room and sit down at the piano he had bought for him. He had wanted to say thank you for letting him and Sam stay with him at the apartment when they came to visit colleges his senior year.

They hadn’t been back together long and he had been trying to not push things, but during that visit things had seemed to fall back into place, things seemed perfect between them again. He really misses the times they had spent around that piano singing, just being Kurt and Blaine. He had wondered what had happened to it after the break up. He always figured Kurt would have gotten rid of it. It was nice to see that he had kept some things from the past they had shared together.

When the video ended, and before the pilot asked for cellphone’s to be put in airplane mode, he dialed a number that had been burnt into his memory since his sophomore year. The year his whole life changed.

“Hello” he heard that sweet voice he had so been dying to hear, and couldn't stop the small smile that crossed his lips.

“Kurt, its Blaine can we talk” he said softly not really knowing what to expect. Would Kurt be willing to talk to him, or would he push him away, he was hopeful but didn’t want to take anything for granted anymore.

“Yes, I would love that” he heard Kurt say and couldn’t help but smile a little bigger.

“Ok, I am on my way to Westerville, I need to talk to Dad about some things going on, and to pick up my daughter. Will you be home tomorrow. I know it is Friday and you normally have to work….”

“No, I’ll be here, come by whenever you want” Kurt said jumping up while still talking to him and started cleaning up the apartment, not that it was dirty but if Blaine was going to be there possibly with the baby he wanted to really clean things up. He also decided he needed to go to the store to pick up a few things.

“Ok, will 10 in the morning be ok, maybe we can get some coffee and talk” Blaine asked a little hesitantly. He had a lot he wanted to talk to Kurt about, a lot he wanted to work out with him. After everything that had happened he knew in his heart he couldn’t continue to live in a world that did include his Kurt in one way or the other. If he had learned anything in the last week, it was that he had to hold the people he loved close to him. And Kurt was the one person beside Sere that he loved the most .

“That will be perfect, I’ll see you then” Kurt said with a big smile on his face. He had missed Blaine so much since the last time he had seen him. He missed his friend, and hoped they could work on getting at least that back again, even though he still wanted more, he wanted his Blaine back.

“Ok, I’ll see you then. Kurt, thanks for the video, that really meant a lot, I’ll see you tomorrow, and Kurt, I love you” he said right before he disconnected the call and then put his phone back in his pocket as the pilot announces they were set for takeoff.

He puts his head back on the head rest and closes his eyes, still in shock over everything he had read in Bryce’s journal, and wondering if this was going to have more of an impact on his life than he ever thought possible.

When the plane landed in Westerville he pulled his carryon bag down, put the strap over his shoulder and headed for the door. Since he was in first class this time, he was one of the first people to disembark from the plane. He headed for the airport doors, keeping his head down trying not to bring any attention to himself, but that was useless, because as soon as he walked through the security area he started seeing cameras flashing and paparazzi in his face asking questions.

He just kept saying no comment keeping his head down and not looking at anyone. He finally made it out the door to a cab and was soon on his way home. When he pulled up in the driveway, his mom came walking out carrying Sere.

He quickly paid the driver, grabbed his bag and then ran up to his mom, pulling Sere to him, he just held her tight, nose snuggled into her sweet little neck and then broke down, luckily his dad had followed his mom out and managed to catch him before he slid down to the ground.

Pam quickly grabbed the baby back and Michael helped Blaine into the house and sat him down, watching as he cried, his whole body shaking.

They could do nothing but stand there and watch their son fall apart, thinking he was crying because he had just lost Bryce, but Blaine was crying because he was afraid he was going to lose something so much more important. He was afraid he was going to lose Sere.

He looked at his dad still crying “I think I am in trouble, dad, I think I am really in trouble” Blaine said standing up walking over to his mom and taking the baby back, needing to hold her.

“Son, what do you mean you think you might be in trouble” Michael asks looking at Blaine with concern

“Have a seat, I have a lot I need to talk to you about, both of you.” Blaine said before taking a deep breath and then looking at his parents, not believing he is going to have to tell them one of the most unbelievable stories he had ever had to tell them in his life.

“Blaine, what is going on, you are scaring me” his mom said looking at him before they both sat down.

He continued to walk slowly, rocking the baby. “When I got to Morocco they took me to identify and claim the body which I expected, they had already told me I would be required to do that. I then went to the US embassy and worked with them on getting Bryce’s body home, once again nothing I wasn’t expecting.

“When I left there, I was taken to the set where Bryce had been filming. The first thing that happened was their lawyer first apologized for my loss and then started passing me papers he wanted me to sign. He kept talking about waivers of liability.”

“You didn’t sign anything did you son” Michel looked at him appalled that another lawyer would pull something like that, trying to make him sign something when his mind wouldn’t have been clear.

“No, I think I made him a little mad because I told him to send anything that needs my signature to you to review. He finally had one of the production assistants take me to Bryce’s trailer, so I could pack up any of his personal items. Bryce had this small duffel bag he always carried on set with him, so I figured I could just pack anything in there, when I opened it I found this” Blaine said walking over to where he had dropped his suitcase, opened it and pulled out Bryce’s journal.

“It is the journal Bryce always wrote in, I remember him having it and writing in it when we were still on the set of Always, and also when we were still in London while we were waiting to get Sere’s passport.  I thought that it would be something to put up and give to her when she was older, she could read it and know a little bit about her papa”.

“I read it and it was really sweet in the beginning, talking about how we had first met, when his feelings for me had started changing, and when he realized he wanted to be with me. We had started having some problems before the accident, things that I don’t want to discuss but reading what he had written started making me feel better, feel better about him, how he felt about me and our relationship.” 

“His words started to take away some of the anger I had been feeling, after a few of our disagreements, that is until I got close to the end of his writing, and this is where I think I might be in trouble.” He said looking at his dad 

“He wrote “I asked my dad if it was bigamy if I married Blaine since I was still technically married to Jennifer.”

“What?” Michael yelled standing up, and in the process scaring Sere who had almost gone to sleep, she started crying “Sorry, but what” he said this time a little quieter.

“It would seem that when Bryce was 16 he was dating this girl Jennifer, she had apparently gotten pregnant, and their parents signed for them to get married. She ended up losing the baby and they broke up, his dad had said that since I was a man and Jennifer was a girl then that rule pretty much didn’t apply, he could marry me”.

“Apparently he never got the marriage annulled and never divorced her, which means my marriage to him was never legal. Dad can they take Sere away from me?” Blaine asks staring at his dad hoping against hope he’d say no

“You adopted her legally Blaine, I don’t see how they could. Do they know that you know?” Michael asked looking at Blaine in shock. He hadn’t known Bryce long but had liked him, and he had thought he would be good for Blaine

“Yeah they do. I sorta blew up at them before coming here. I went to their house. Bryce had been sending them a check for $9000 a month since he turned 18 and took over his own finances. I pretty much told them that they would not be getting another penny, everything that Bryce had, had been willed to me and that I would be putting it in a trust for Sere and also told them they would never be seeing her again.”

“Oh son, I wish you hadn’t done that. I need to get with Bryce’s lawyer and see how his will was written, and look over the adoption papers, when is the funeral? Michael asked

“I don’t know and really don’t care, I told them that I wasn’t going to be there, they could do whatever they wanted to.” Blaine said looking at him

“We have to be there son, as a family, it will look bad if we aren’t. Pam if you don’t mind can you call Bryce’s mom and see when the funeral is. Play it off, say something like Blaine had been in shock, and grieving so bad when he said what he did, and he didn’t mean it, he had just been hurting at the time.” 

“We need to see how they are going to act, see if they plan on fighting for Sere or not, and maybe call Cooper and ask him to be here” Michael then looked at Blaine, “I am assuming that he doesn’t know anything about this yet correct”

“No I haven’t told anyone but you, well, and his parents” Blaine said wishing he would have just not gone to see Bryce’s parents, but he had just been so mad that they had known that Bryce was still married and let their sham of a marriage happen, without at least trying to stop it .

“Ok, we will go as a family, even Sere that way we can get a feel of the situation” Micheal said watching Blaine as he walked back and forth holding the baby close to him, seeing unmistakable tears rolling down his cheeks, his steps getting slower and slower. Micheal knows it has been a rough couple of days for Blaine, wishing he could do something to help him, to somehow make this better for him, hating watching his son hurt.

“Listen son, why don’t you and Sere go ahead and go to bed, you look like you are about to fall out any minute, and we can talk some more in the morning ok?”

“Sounds good.” Blaine said in a tired voice “Let me give her a bath and then put her to bed and I think I will take you up on that” Blaine answered so softly, his parents knew he was physically and emotionally drained and he looked like it wouldn’t take much to knock him down.

“Why don’t you let me give her a bath, and you go ahead and go lie down” his mom offered

“Thanks mom, but I just want to do it. I need to be with her, right now. Goodnight” Blaine said kissing Pam on the cheek so thankful for everything she had done and then he slowly walked out of the room, grabbing his suitcase as he passed it, heading towards the stairs, missing the look that passed between his parents.

He took his time giving Sere a warm bath, washing her little hair. He dressed her in his favorite pair of her pajamas. They were soft and looked to him like they would be really comfortable. When he walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, that is when he notices the crib his parents had set up for her, and the rocking chair that had been placed in the corner. He went over to it sat down and slowing started rocking the baby, singing to her as tears slowly slipped down his face.

Tears for the papa she would never be able to know, but glad in a way that she wouldn't because she will never have to know how Bryce had really felt about her. Tears for the relationship he had wasted time on, thinking he was building a future, only to find out there never could have been one, and tears for his past, for the boy he still loved. Those being the hardest tears of all.

When he sees that Sere is asleep he slowly stands up and walks over to the crib. He softly kisses her on her head before gently laying her into her crib. He stands there just staring at her, so afraid now that he is going to lose her, that somehow Bryce’s family would be able to take her away from him.

He slowly makes his way over to his bed, pulls back the covers, and then crawls in between them. He reaches for the extra pillow and pulls it to his chest, and then buries his face in it crying, hoping the pillow will muffle the sound so his parents wouldn’t hear. He was more afraid than he has ever been in his life, because this time he had so much more to lose.

Sere woke him up at 3 crying, he crawls out of bed and walks over to the crib and picks her up, he softly patted her back and walks with her to the kitchen. Before everything had happened with Bryce, she had gotten to where she was finally almost sleeping through the night. He warms her up a bottle, gently swinging her back and forth as he feeds her, just staring down at her sweet little face. 

When she finishes her bottle, he carries her back to his room, and changes her diaper. He picks her up off of the changing table and rocks her for a few more minutes until she falls back to sleep, and then carries her over to his bed, placing her in the middle, not wanting to be away from her, just wanting her close. He slowly drifts back to sleep with his hand laying gently on her stomach, wanting to feel her if she moves.

She wakes him up again at 4 and then 5, and he just gets up after that. He doesn’t know what was wrong with her, she was dry, and it was too soon for another bottle, but when he picked her up and snuggled with her, she stopped crying and was fine. He guesses she feels his stress and it is affecting her as well, and just needed a little extra attention, not that he minded that at all, because he needed it too. He does give up on going back to sleep though.

He stands up and carries her into the living room with him, sitting down with her in one of the recliners. He softly starts singing the song he had written for her not long after the adoption was finalized, and she had officially became his daughter.

Staring down into the eyes he so loves, feeling his heart swell even more, he  wonders how he had ever existed before this beautiful baby girl entered his world, and now he also worries how he could ever exist if he lost her. He slowly leaned the chair back and just holds her laying on his chest, listening to her soft little breaths and soon they are both drifting off to sleep again.

The next thing that woke him up was the smell of coffee, and knows his mom is up. He slowly stands up trying not to wake up Sere and then he walks into the kitchen and sits down, at the bar across from his mom. She stands up and grabs him a cup of coffee fixing it the way he likes it, with a little cream and a dash of cinnamon. She had made it like that for him along time ago and he had liked it so much he had continued to drink it that way.

“Where’s dad” Blaine whispers trying to not wake Sere who was still asleep on his shoulder, he wanted to let her sleep as long as possible since she had had a bad night.

“He is getting dressed and will be down in a minute, he is going to get with Bryce’s lawyer this morning and make sure everything is in order” she said looking at him knowing just how worried he was

“I can’t lose her mom, I can’t” Blaine said for the first time voicing his fears

“You aren’t going to lose her son” Michael said coming in the door

“With our marriage not being legal, they can say that I have no rights to her even though I adopted her” Blaine said looking at his dad “What if they say that because she is Bryce’s biological child, and they are Bryce’s parents they should get her. I know they don’t want her for her, they will only want her because of the trust fund she inherited from her mom. Whoever is her guardian gets access to that money, I know she means nothing to them” Blaine continued hating the fact that someone could want this special little girl for the money her mom left her. 

Bryce’s money was supposed to go to Blaine, per the will he had signed. He honestly could care less about it, he didn’t need the money and it would just be put in a trust for Sere anyway, but his dad was going to look at the wording of the will, if it said just to Blaine Anderson, then it would pass to him, but if it said to his husband, Bryce’s family could fight that, since legally he never was, their marriage had never been legal.

No matter how that part ended up however, Shey’s money would go straight to Sere. She wasn’t even a year old yet and she was already a trust fund baby.

“Son, don’t forget that I have as much right to Sere as they do, I was Shey’s father, I have just as much of a blood connection to her as they do, and I can’t think of any better person than you to raise my granddaughter. If they want to fight this we will fight it in court. I just really hope it doesn’t have to go that far” he said walking over to Pam and giving her a kiss on her cheek. He knows talking about Shey hurts her because it reminds her of the time they were broken up, and the fact that he had temporarily found someone new.

Blaine looked at his watch and saw that it was almost 7 and stood up taking his coffee cup over to the sink. “I am going to go and talk to a friend of mine for a while today, I have some things I need to talk out. Dad, can you call me when you find out anything?” Blaine said knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about this until everything was finally settled.

“Son, I will call you as soon as I find out anything I promise” Michael said walking over to Blaine and hugging him.

“Do you want me to keep Sere for you” Pam asked. She had really enjoyed watching the little girl while Blaine had been out of the country. She had always wanted a daughter, but after the break up with Michael when Blaine was still young she decided she didn’t want to have anymore, so in Sere she finally had a little girl.

“No, I think I want her with me, but thanks. If you don’t mind though can you watch her for a few minutes while I take a shower. She is probably going to want a bottle soon, I fed her around 3, and changed her diaper. I will dress her when I get back” Blaine asked, he knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it but wanted to ask anyway. He gently moved the sleeping little girl from his shoulder to his moms, placing a soft kiss on her little cheek, man how he loved that little girl.

Blaine walked into his bathroom, and shaved before stepping in the shower. When he got out he dried off and got dressed taking care of how he looked. While his hair was still damp he added a little of the hair product he had been shown by the makeup artist when he had first started working on Always.  He wished he could have found it or something like it when he was still in school. He had always hated the heavy feeling of the gel he used, but hated the way his hair would frizz without it more.

He had really liked his hair at one time, before the kids at his old school Carson had made fun of it and of him. From that day on he had slicked it down, to control it that was until he had gone with Kurt to his senior prom and Brittany had put a ban on hair gel of all things.

He had felt self conscious about his hair the minute he walked back into the room, seeing as everyone stared at him. That had been bad enough but then Brittany had looked at him and said he looked like Mr. Broccoli head, instead of Kurt making some kind of comment like he liked it like that the way Blaine would have done if the situation was reversed Kurt had just said that it didn’t look THAT bad. Thinking back now he doesn’t know which comment had hurt him the most, being told he looked like Mr. Broccoli head or for his boyfriend to simply say he didn’t look that bad.

The only other time he had tried to go without gel, was when he was subbing at Dalton, right after the last break up. He had been super depressed and his therapist had told him to try to change things up, almost reinvent himself from the person he had been with Kurt. So he did, he didn’t gel his hair, and didn’t put on a bowtie. That had lasted one day. When he had walked into Dalton the first thing he heard was one of the students yell terrorist. From that day on he had worn hair gel until that wonderful makeup artist on Always had given him the new stuff he now uses, he never did however put on another bowtie.

Blaine went over the changing table his parents had set up for Sere and packed her several diapers and a few changes of clothes, he never really knew what she might need, so he generally packed more than necessary, but he would rather have too much than not enough. 

He went back into the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles and some formula added that to the diaper bag and was ready to go. Now he just needed to find his mom and daughter he thought with a smile. He was so glad his parents had accepted Sere as theirs; that meant a lot that they already loved her. Blaine looked up when his mom walked back into the kitchen.

“Ok, I changed her, feed her and she should be good to go for a little while anyway,” Pam said kissing her on the cheek before walking up to Blaine and passing the baby to him. “I put her car seat in your car, and the stroller base,  I figured it would be easier to drive to the airport than trying to get a cab. I’ll call you when I get a hold of Bryce’s mom and let you know what I find out” she said before pulling them both into a hug. “I love you Blaine” she said pulling away.

“I love you too mom and thanks” Blaine said looking at her “for everything” he hugs her one more time before walking out the door with Sere and strapping her into her car seat. He got in and drove to the airport and got the next flight to New York feeling more nervous the closer they got. He didn’t really know why. Kurt had been his friend for 5 years, he had never felt nervous around him except for the time he had finally figured out how he felt about him.

He had known when he was watching Kurt sing Blackbird that he wanted him in his life. He remembers he had spent the whole day figuring out what he wanted to say, and just hoping Kurt hadn’t changed his mind about how he felt. He had been on edge, trying to find the perfect place and time. But when he had walked into the breakroom at Dalton and saw him sitting there, he knew in his heart that nothing in his life could have ever been more perfect.

He went in and sat down and was finally able to say how he felt, how important Kurt was to him. That had been the start of them, in that room they had shared their very first kiss. That had been the last time he had been nervous to be around Kurt, until now.

oOoOo

When they land he grabs Sere who was still in her carseat, her diaper bag and the base of her stroller that the car seat snapped into and started walking down the ramp going from the plane to the airport itself. He slowly walked out of the security area and could breathe a little better when he realized there was no paparazzi, they hadn’t found out he was in New York yet, and he was glad, he really hated them being around the baby.

He slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses, missing the yellow and pink ones he used to wear when he was still in school, and headed to the door leading out of the airport. He quickly manages to grab a cab, he gave the driver the address he was going to in Bushwick, and spends the rest of the trip just trying to calm his nerves. 

When they get to the apartment, he steps out of the cab, pays the driver and grabs Sere snapping the carseat into the stroller base, grabs her diaper bag and walks inside, it had been so long since he had been here, but nothing really looks like it had changed.

Blaine walks over to the freight elevator and hits the button for the top floor where Kurt’s apartment was. When he steps off the elevator he turns left and walks towards Kurt’s door feeling even more nervous than before; why he doesn’t know because this was just Kurt, his Kurt. He stands outside the door for a minute feeling weird knocking on the door of the apartment that he had once called home.

He looked at his watch and it was right at 10 he slowly raises his hand and knocks on the door. Within minutes it was sliding open, and there he was, the person he had lived for, for so long, the person who had been the center of his universe. The person he had dreamed so many dreams about, and without a doubt the person he still loved.

With tears running down his face he stepped forward and hugged his best friend for the first time in almost a year “God I have missed you” he whispers in his ear pulling him even closer.

“I have missed you too” Kurt said pulling back enough so he could look at him “I missed you too” they just stood there staring at each other until Sere started fussing in her seat. Blaine pulls away from Kurt,  bends down and picks her up, he gently placed her on his shoulder, patting her softly on the back, saying soothing words until she finally settled down.

“I’m sorry, come in” Kurt said standing back and letting Blaine walk in pushing the stroller in front of him. They went over and sat down on the couch, turning so they could face each other. Blaine still can’t believe that he is here, in front of him again. he takes a deep breath and just looks into Kurt’s beautiful eyes, the eyes he had spent years happily staring into 

“Kurt, I would like you to meet my daughter Serene” Blaine said pulling the baby away from his shoulder, turning her around so that Kurt was able to see her for the first time.

He watched as Kurt’s mouth dropped open looking at the baby, noticing right away how very much she looked like Blaine. “I don’t understand” he whispered, looking from Blaine to the baby and back. There was no way that baby could be his, unless before they had broken up, Blaine had cheated on him again, and this time with a woman.

Blaine just sits there watching as Kurt tried to figure out what he was seeing, watching as the thoughts rolled around in his head, before he was standing up, and walking a little bit away. 

Blaine knew what he thought; as if he could have ever been with anyone other than Kurt. He had learned the hard way what cheating caused, it had lost him Kurt and that was a mistake he would never have made again, never. If Kurt hadn’t broken up with him, he would have never slept with anyone else again, Kurt had always been it for him.

“Please come back and sit down. Let me explain” Blaine said looking at him, watching his face, knowing he was struggling with his thoughts, and wanting to know the truth. He finally walked back over and sat down. Willing to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt until he was given a reason not to.

“I know what you are thinking Kurt and nothing can be further from the truth. Sere is my daughter, yes, but for all intents and purposes she is actually my niece.” Blaine started to explain further but was cut off.

“Ok, if Cooper had a kid why isn’t he the one raising her, and why is everyone saying she is Bryce’s for?” Kurt asked so confused.

“She is my niece, but not through Cooper, and she is Bryce’s biological daughter” Blaine continued seeing on Kurt’s face just how confused he was. “Listen a minute, and I will explain. I am going to tell you something that only 3 other people know about, Mom, Dad and Cooper ok” he looked at Kurt and watched as he nods his head.

“When I was a month old, my parents started having problems, it had been going on before I was born, but when they found out about me they tried to work it at. When I was a month old they did separate for a while. Dad apparently started dating someone else and somehow she became pregnant. Dad didn’t know, and by the time he found out he was back with my mom”.

“When he found out about the baby he started sending child support to her mom and was part of her life. Mom knew all about it. I had a sister named Shey Alexander. When she was a year old her mom died and she was passed off to a grandmother. Dad lost track of her, he had even talked to mom about adopting her, but she was gone. It would seem when he was 17 Bryce met Shey and they fell in love.”

“They had had a lot of conversations about how he really didn’t ever want kids so when she got pregnant she broke up with him, and moved to London without ever telling him she was pregnant. He had no idea Sere even existed.”

“I’m sorry Kurt, but I need to tell you a little bit about mine and Bryce’s relationship, I’m sorry, I won’t say more than I need to.” Blaine said looking at him hoping not to hurt him, because he knows how he would feel if the roles were reversed and it was Kurt sitting in front of him with a child and a husband.

“That is ok Blaine, I understand you were in a relationship with him, that you married him. I am ok with listening to it. I want us to be friends again like we used to be. We used to be able to talk about anything without it getting weird. I want us to be able to do that again” Kurt said, even though inside he knew he really didn’t want to hear about his Blaine being with anyone else

Blaine looked at him for a few minutes and then a soft smile crossed his face “I would really like that. I have so missed you in my life. I have missed being able to just pick up the phone and talk to you. We have always been able to do that, but I am still not going to go into more than I need too.”

“Me and Bryce had been dating for about a month when he got a call to inform him that Shay had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in critical condition, he was told that if he wanted to see her again, he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible.”

“I helped him pack his clothes and got us both a ticket to London. When we got to the hospital we found out that she had died thirty minutes before we got there. Bryce fell apart and I just held him, trying to comfort him, in the back of my mind thinking about how I would have felt in the same situation, if it had been you.”

“We had been there about 5 minutes when another nurse walked in carrying a 3 month old baby girl. Even though Shey had never told Bryce about Sere, she had listed him as her emergency contact and his name was on Sere’s birth certificate.”

“When I first looked at that babies face, I fell so in love with her, and then we both notice how she looked like a combination of the both of us, I could have been her dad as much as Bryce was. How we really didn’t know, but to be honest I didn’t care I wanted that baby, in my heart that baby was mine and I loved her instantly.”

“I found out from dad later about Shey being his daughter, how mom knew all about it, and how they had lost track of her”

“You know how I can get sometimes, I have a tendency to jump into situations without really taking the time to think them through. After we left the hospital with Sere I started thinking about things, I wanted her, I wanted to adopt her so I asked Bryce to marry me. Looking back on it now, I know I should have waited, done things differently, but I just wanted her to officially be mine.”

“I had started caring about Bryce, but I didn’t love him, and knew I never would be able too, but I still asked him to marry me. We could be a family, we could raise Sere together, he agreed and we were married before we left London. We had to wait there for 2 weeks before we could get her passport. Luckily she had dual citizenship which made the process so much quicker. After we got her passport we came home and I legally adopted her.”

Blaine notice that Sere had fallen back asleep so he slowly stood up and put her in her carseat so he could be free to move. He had just sat down when his phone started to ring. “Shit” he said and quickly grabs it out of his pocket answering it as quietly as he can so he doesn’t wake up the baby. He looks at Kurt and mouths sorry. He listened for a few minutes without saying anything

“Ok, when is it set for?”

“To be honest, I don’t really care I don’t want to go to the stupid funeral anyway”

“I know mom, I know what dad said about us needing to be there a family”

“Ok I understand, I just don’t feel like acting like the grieving husband around all the paparazzi that you know are going to be there”

“Ok mom I understand” Blaine says on a sigh

“Do I need to dress Sere in black or do you think that will even really matter”

“Ok, listen when I am done here I’ll go ahead and fly home to California, you and dad can just meet me and Sere there. You can sleep in mine and Bryce’s room I’ll sleep on the pull out bed in the living room.”

“No mom trust me I never plan on sleeping in that bed again”

“Oh, and before you head that way can someone pick up my car and take it back to your house”

“Ok thanks, the ticket is on the dash”

“No mom I don’t really know what to do with all his shit right now, if I liked his parents any better than I do I would dump it all on their front lawn or maybe because I don’t like them then I should anyway”

“No that was a joke mom I promise. I seriously don’t know what to do with all of it. I’ll figure something out, and I still need to go back to London and clean out Shey’s old apartment. Bryce has been paying the rent on it until he could figure out what he wanted to do with it all.” 

“I know, I know, I will probably go and just get pictures and stuff out and sell the rest. I know none of Sere’s clothes that we didn’t bring with her will fit anymore.”

“Ok, ask dad if there is anything he thinks he might want of hers. I will probably try to go next week to clean it out and then do something about my apartment later. I know mom, I know. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Love you too” Blaine said and then hung up the phone laying his head on the back of the couch and rubbing his eyes. So ready for this farce to be over with so he can just move on with his life.

“Do you want to talk about it” he heard Kurt softly ask him. He turned his head and looked at him noticing the shocked look on his face, and what he had just heard, knowing he now had some more explaining to do

“I’m sorry Kurt I really am. I never planned on telling you that much about my relationship with my husband ” Blaine said, but the way he said the word Husband almost like he hated that word, left Kurt in no doubt there had been trouble in paradise.

“When me and Bryce were dating we were great, we had a lot of the same interests, the same likes and dislikes, but after we got married, things changed. Everything seemed to be ok for the first month. We both agreed that if one of us had a project that would take us away from home the other would just do stuff local so one of us would always be home with the baby. That worked out fine, but Bryce kept getting more and more jobs that took him away from home”

“I was fine with the local work, because to be honest, I was really not liking the business anyway. South of Always had been fun at first, but I figured out really quick that it wasn’t something I wanted to do long term. I contemplated maybe doing something in the music or directing side”

“Well anyway Bryce was gone more than he was home. He would be home for maybe 24 hours at the most and then was gone again for weeks at a time. We got to where we fought all the time when he was home.” 

“Things really blew up when we were both nominated for the same award for the people’s choice awards. Bryce thought I should opt not to accept the nomination, because I was his husband, and I couldn’t believe he would ask me not to for the same reason. I earned that nomination just as much as he had”

“First when I got to the theater, Bryce was already there. He hadn’t waited on me, he didn’t even have the decency to let me know he was back in town. He had been in the middle of shooting a movie in Nevada at the time.”

“When I got there, and saw that he was already there and hadn’t said anything I was a little pissed so I didn’t go up to him. If he could be there by himself, so could I. One of the male reporters decided to flirt with me, and that flew all over Bryce. He quickly found his way to my side”

“Then on top of that I won the award he felt he should have won, I thanked everyone but him. I just didn’t feel in the mood to thank him, and then when I won the second one I once again didn’t mention his name. I was so pissed at him. We had had a fight right after we started seeing each other because I was a jerk and took something out on him that I shouldn’t have, so I promised him that day I would never raise my voice to him in anger again, that night was the first night I almost did.” 

“He kept making comments about how I just let that reporter flirt with me. I told him that if my husband had been by my side like he should have been it probably wouldn’t have happened, that made him madder he kept saying I had purposely embarrassed him knowing he had to work with those people”

“We had a major fight before he left for this last movie in Morocco, and yes I broke my promise because I definitely yelled at him that day. We both said some really ugly things to each other, and then he slammed out of the apartment. I went and talked to a divorce attorney that day. I was done with everything, I wanted a divorce and I was going to file for full custody. Our marriage lasted for 4 months”

“Blaine I am so sorry, I am sorry you had to go through that” Kurt said, hating what had happened to Blaine

“The bad thing is Kurt that is actually not the worst of it.” Blaine looking at him with a sad look on his face, and Kurt knew he wasn’t going to like the next part at all.

“I got a call in the middle of the night, letting me know that there had been an accident on set, and that Bryce had been killed. I was devastated, I kept thinking about all the hateful ugly words we had spoken to each other. Those where our last words and I hated it. I remember beating myself up all the way to Morocco. I had taken Sere to Westerville for mom to watch for me and then I had to go and identify and claim his body”

“After I did that and arranged for his body to be brought back to the states I was taken to Bryce’s trailer so that I could pack up any of his personal belongings  and bring them home. He had this duffel bag that he always carried with him on set. He always had it when we were on set of Always. I decided I could just put everything in it but when I opened it up I also found his journal, the one he always wrote in”

“I remembered seeing him write in it almost every day so I opened it and started reading what he had written from around the time we met. It was sweet, I thought I would save it and let Sere read it when she got older. That was until I got to the entry from when I asked him to marry me. It would seem he had been married when he was sixteen to  his old girlfriend. She had gotten pregnant and their parents signed for them to get married. He asked his dad if it would still be ok to marry me, since he was still technically married to her”

“What” Kurt sputtered looking as shocked as Blaine had felt when he had first read it.

“Yeah, his dad told him since she was a girl and I was a man it wouldn’t be a problem for him to marry me. So after everything I put up with, had to deal with I find out we were never legally married at all and now I have to worry about whether or not his parents are going to try to fight me for custody of my daughter, since they are blood relatives and I am just an adopted father. They just want the money Shey had left for Sere. Whoever is her guardian has control of the money” Blaine said shaking his head

“I guess that explains that look.” Kurt said looking at him

“What look” Blaine asked him not understanding

“When you were leaving the airport and you were being followed you looked like you were devastated, in shock but also pissed off. I don't think anyone else would have noticed it, but we had been friends for years. I learned what your facial expressions meant.” Blaine could only smile, because Kurt had known Blaine sometimes better than he had known himself

“Dad seems to think we can fight it if they do try since technically he has as much rights to Sere as they do, since he was Shey’s father and I am her uncle. I just hate not knowing where I stand in this. I can’t lose her Kurt, I just can’t. And on top of all of that I have to go and make nice and act like I care that he is dead. I get to go play the grieving husband for the cameras and I have to have my daughter in the middle of that shit storm.” Blaine said sighing once again just wishing it was all already over.

“I know I can’t be there with you tomorrow, but I can be here when you get back. Blaine I want us to be friends again. I have really missed you. I don’t like that I can’t just pick up the phone and talk to you the way I used to, I can’t stand you not being part of my life.” Kurt said feeling as tears slid down his cheeks

“I would actually love that. I have so missed you” Blaine said reaching out and pulling Kurt into his arms. Placing a soft kiss on his cheek, needing to touch him even if that was all he would allow himself for now

“Kurt can I ask you something personal” Blaine whispered pulling back,  unable to look in Kurt’s face when a thought hit him.

“Blaine you can ask me anything, you don’t ever have to ask”

“Where you happy with us, with me, I mean before everything blew up between us you were happy right” Blaine said looking him in the eyes needing to hear his answer feeling really unsure of himself

“Of course I was, why would you ask me something like that for” Kurt said looking at him confused trying to figure out where he was going with that question.

“Ok I’m sorry if I am getting personal, but did I make you happy, did I satisfy you, give you what you needed when we were together sexually” Blaine asked not able to look at him anymore

“Blaine I don’t understand why you would ask me something like that for” Kurt was really confused now

“Please Kurt, please just answer the question. This is important” Blaine said he hadn’t realized how much he needed to have that question answered until he asked. He needed to know. 

“Did I ever do anything with you, or to you that you didn’t like. Did you feel like I pushed you” Blaine asked in a soft sad voice, thoughts of what Bryce had written in his journal running through his head destroying every happy memory he had shared with Kurt in the bedroom.

“Blaine I don’t understand the question, but you ALWAYS satisfied me, made me feel loved and wanted and special. Where is this coming from” he asked softly only then noticing the tears in Blaine’s eyes and the doubt he had on his face

“I’m going to let you read something that is really personal. You will be the only person I ever let read this, and then I plan on destroying it.” Blaine said walking up to the diaper bag and pulling out Bryce’s journal, he opened it to the page he wanted Kurt to read and then handed the book to him.

He turned his back on Kurt and walked over to the only window that he could actually see out of. He remembered when he lived here, when things between them had started falling apart, he had just stared out this window trying to get his barring.

When he heard Kurt’s intake of breath he knew that Kurt had read the part he had wanted him too. “No Blaine, no don’t believe that, please don’t believe that” and then Kurt made him turn around and face him, pulling him in close and then was kissing him, showing him just how much he had enjoyed being with him. Nothing he had ever done to him had ever disgusted him or ever could have.

Blaine slowly pulled out of Kurt’s embrace “But Kurt you pulled away too, we were engaged and you no longer wanted to do anything with me, you would come to bed after I was asleep and would leave the bed before I woke up, I always hated that. What was I supposed to think, and now this ...”

“Oh Blaine sweety it was never that I swear it was never that. I loved it when we were together that way. I just lost my way in my own nervousness and fear of the unknown. We were doing so good, we were enjoying being together, and I always loved it when you made love to me. You were kind, and gentle and caring. You took care of me, treated me like I was the most special thing in your world.” 

“It’s just that I started having all these doubts. Remember when we were closing out glee, and everyone came back. Remember what April said, how that was what the  world needed another teenage marriage, how we were going to end in divorce. That on top of my own doubts is what happened to us, not you Blaine, never you. That I can swear to you” Kurt said trying to get him to understand

“I always needed you and you always gave me what I needed, and wanted. Please don’t believe this.” Kurt said holding up the journal, never meaning anything more than he did right now 

“He was confused, he realized he wasn’t what he thought he was. Trust me as a gay man if I had sex with a girl I would be disgusted too. Not because of the person she was but because of what she was. Look at how you felt that time you kissed Rachel sober, remember what you told me, that even though you liked her as a person and a friend kissing her made your skin crawl”

That is finally what connected with Blaine, remembering what he had felt when he had kissed Rachel, just how wrong it had been. He can only imagine how he would have felt if he had had sex with her. Blaine finally smiles his first real smile since everything happened. Kurt had always been able to calm his crazy and help him find his center. With just that one sentence Blaine was finally ok.

“And I know we just agreed to be friends again, but I want you to know that I want more, and if I ever get the chance to make love with you again, I will jump on the chance, and the only thing that will disgust me is when we have to stop. I love you Blaine, forever and always, and I am still and will always be your Nemo” Kurt said the words he had said before, many times, but never meant them more.

Blaine just looked at him for a few minutes and then pulled Kurt into his arms kissing him the way he has wanted to since he first opened the door. Not wanting to ever let him go again, but knowing he needed too. He still had a funeral to go to.

He slowly pulled away a little, “I need to head home, I need to get ready for tomorrow, I so wish you could be there. When this is done, can I come back, can we spend some more time together.” Blaine said looking at him hopeful again, finally feeling the tension he had been feeling since him and Kurt had broken up leave his body. He was finally ready to move on, and start to trust again.

“I would enjoy that” Kurt said right as Blaine pulled him back into his arms and kissed him, Kurt finally felt like they were finally on the right track. Maybe there was a way that they could work their way back to each other after all.

 

Chapter Text

 

 

Way to soon Blaine was telling Kurt goodbye, not even close to being ready to walk away from him “I guess I need to head out, can I call you later” Blaine asks pulling Kurt back into his arms and placing a soft kiss on his lips, missing him so much already.

“You better, or I will have to come to California and track you down” Kurt said trying to smile when all he wants to do is cry.

“You can come whenever you want” Blaine said one hundred percent serious, once again kissing him slow and gentle, not trying to deepen it, trying to remember that they were going to try to work on being friends again, and then maybe something more.

“I’ll keep that in mind” Kurt said “I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow, call me if you need to talk”

“I will” Blaine said walking over the stroller and pushing Sere towards the door. “it was really good seeing you again” Blaine said leaning over and placing a kiss on Kurt’s cheek and pulling him back into a quick hug before slowly pushing Sere out the door, when he got outside the cab he had called was waiting for him, so before he even realized it he was back at the airport, on his way home

When Blaine walked into his apartment, the first thing he did was look around, he had lived here for four months and at one time he had felt happy here, it had felt like a home, now it just felt like space. He needed to figure out where to go from here, what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He knows he isn’t really interested in being an actor anymore, he is tired of dealing with the paparazzi, and he doesn’t want to raise his daughter having to deal with it.

He wanted a safe environment that he could raise her in. He wanted a home for her, he knows right now isn’t the best time to be thinking about anything, not until he is secure in what the Mitchell's might decide to throw his way.

He took Sere to her room and put her in her crib, she had managed to fall asleep in the cab on the way home. He figured he could use the time she was sleeping to get some stuff done. The morning he had found out about Bryce he had ran out of the house in a hurry leaving an unmade bed and a bathroom torn apart as he had quickly thrown stuff in a bag for him and Sere and ran out the door.

Since his parents would be sleeping in his room, he went in and changed the sheets on the bed and put fresh towels in the bathroom. He grabbed up the dirty clothes that were in the hamper and ran a load of clothes, doing anything to keep busy, to keep his mind from running wild.

He looked around at all of Bryce’s stuff, not even knowing where to begin on getting rid of it. He had a whole cabinet of nothing but awards, Blaine’s 3 looking pretty pathetic next to the 30 plus Bryce had in there. He had no idea what to do with those kinds of things, and then there was, all his clothes.  He knew he didn’t want anything that was his and he had already decided he didn’t want to save any of it for Sere, Bryce might have been her father biologically, but he was not the papa he had once said he wanted to be. Not after reading in that journal where he said he hated her as much as he did Blaine.

Who said something like that about their own child? No, if he could help it she would never know anything about Bryce. He was going to check with his dad about having Bryce’s name removed from her birth certificate if that was possible and dropping the Mitchell from her name she would just be Anderson.

He was looking around contemplating what he should do when he heard his doorbell, he thought it was too early for his parents to be there so he walked over to the door and looked through the peephole and saw that it was Cooper. He quickly opened the door and found himself being pulled into Cooper’s arms.

“I am so sorry Blaine, I wish I even knew where to begin” Cooper said looking at him. The bad thing was that he didn’t know if he was saying he was sorry about Bryce dying or about what he had learned after the fact.

“Have you talked to mom and dad yet” Blaine asked looking at him

“No, they just told me you were here and the funeral was tomorrow, how are you, are you ok” Cooper says and Blaine can tell he is almost in tears. He had gotten really close to Bryce while they were all working together during Always and since Blaine and Bryce had gotten married

“Shit, I was really hoping mom and dad had talked to you,” Blaine said. He was about to shut the door when he heard

“No sweetheart we figured that it was your place to tell him what you wanted him to know” Pam said walking up and hugging him and then hugging Cooper

“Once you tell him what you want him to know I have some news from the lawyer” his dad said walking up and hugging his sons

“How did you guys get here so soon” Blaine asked he hadn’t really expected them for at least another hour.

“We left right after we talked to you,” Pam said going over to the couch and sitting down

Blaine turned around and looked at Cooper, not even knowing where to begin explaining what he had found out.

“Let’s go sit down, I have some stuff I need to talk to you about” Blaine sighs as he sits down. He just wants this all to be done and over, he is hoping this is the last time he will ever have to tell this story again.

When Cooper had sat down he gave him the condensed version, telling him what he had found in the journal, about being married already, what Bryce’s dad had told him, keeping the really personal stuff to himself. He hadn’t even shared all of it with Kurt.

“So, you are telling me that ass hat was already married” Cooper said starting to look mad at this point

“Yes” Blaine says nodding his head

“That fucking son of a bitch, if he wasn’t already dead I would kill his ass” Cooper yelled jumping up. In the process he woke up Sere, who started crying

“I’m sorry Blaine” he said looking at him, not sorry about the words he said but sorry he had woken the baby up.

“It’s ok, she would have been waking up soon anyway” Blaine said walking toward the baby’s room

“Hey baby, did Uncle Cooper wake you up” he said walking up to the crib reaching down and picking her up, kissing her on the neck smiling when she laughed. He so loved hearing her laugh.

“Nana and Pops and Uncle Cooper are here, do you want to go see them” he asks as he quickly changed her diaper and then carries her into the living room. He made it all of three steps before his mom was jumping up and grabbing her out of his arms.

“How is Nana’s baby” she says sitting back down and continues to talk to her.

“So, your marriage wasn’t even legal” Cooper says when Blaine sat back down

“No it wasn’t now I have to worry about whether or not the Mitchell's are going to try to fight me for custody, I have to worry that they are going to take her away from me somehow” Blaine said feeling nervous all over again

“Son, I told you that wasn’t going to happen, you are not going to lose that baby. I got in contact with the lawyer that Shey had worked with to set up her will. He said that the hospital always keeps blood samples of patients that are killed in car accidents in case there is ever litigation. He is going to have some sent to my doctor. We are going to do a DNA test to prove I was Shey’s father, so we will have just as much rights to her as they do”

“Oh and I talked to Bryce’s lawyer as well, he said that he would be there tomorrow, apparently Bryce had a codicil added to his will stipulating that it was to be read right after his funeral or memorial service. He wouldn’t tell me anymore, so I don’t know how that is going to go” Michael said looking at Blaine

“I’m not worried about the money, I can take care of Sere without it, I had planned on putting it in a trust fund for her anyway the way I did with the money she got from Shey.” Blaine said looking at him “Is there something else we need to be worried about” he asked looking at his dad

“No son there isn’t, I would tell you if there was. We will find out about the will one way or the other tomorrow.” Michael said reassuringly

“Let me ask you this, after everything is settled with Sere one way or the other, how hard would it be to have her name changed again. I want to have Mitchell removed, I want her to have no association with that family at all, and can Bryce’s name be removed as the father. I know when I adopted her they put my name on the birth certificate, can we have his removed” Blaine asked looking at his dad

“Son, are you sure that is something you want to do. He was her father after all, what if she asks questions when she gets older, how will you explain that” His dad asked him being serious

“I don’t really know, but dad if you had seen what he had written in that journal about her you would feel the same way” Blaine said before he realized it. He hadn’t told his family that part, he had kept it to himself.

“What did he say” Michael said quietly all of a sudden looking as mad as Cooper had a few minutes ago

“Shit” Blaine quietly says looking at his dad “hang on a second” Blaine said walking into the office where he had put the journal and then walked back into the living room with it. He quickly finds the page and starts reading it to them

“How and when did my life start to suck this bad. I so regret him and her. I wish I could just walk away. I really am starting to hate them both, but the good thing I can say about Blaine is that I have a built in babysitter.” he couldn’t even look up, he was so embarrassed for his parents and brother to find out just how bad his marriage had been, feeling like a failure

“Oh my god Blaine why didn’t you tell us,” his mom asked looking at him shocked

“Who wants to tell their parents something like that, and trust me that is tame compared to some of the other things he had written in here.” He said finally looking up at her, a sad look on his face.

“Son, I am so sorry. Now I know why you didn’t want to go to the funeral, but we really need to” Michael said looking at him, feeling like Cooper, if Bryce was still alive he would happily kill him for the things he put Blaine through.

“I know dad, I know, but with you guys there I will be ok” Blaine said quietly putting his head in his hands once again just wishing tomorrow was over.

Blaine stayed like that for several minutes, feeling like he was about to break down, just so tired of everything, and then he heard the sweetest sound he had ever heard in his life.

“dada” his head flew up and he looked at Sere, she was playing with her toes “dada” she said it again and he was out of his chair and kneeling in front of his mom

“Did you hear that” he whispered looking at his mom. She just nodded her head as tears started rolling down her cheeks, with the biggest smile on her face. Blaine quickly stood up and grabbed Sere pulling her to him kissing all over her face

“Who is the smartest little girl in the world,” Blaine said and then she started giggling. She had no idea, but in that moment, she had saved Blaine. He held her close looking into her face, so thankful for her and knowing that no matter what it had cost him, he was glad that he had met Bryce, because in meeting Bryce, that had brought him her and he would do it all over again.

oOoOo

The next morning everyone gets up and starts getting ready for the funeral. It was supposed to be at 10 at the funeral home across town. Blaine pulls out the only black suit he owns and gets himself dressed, making sure to put the bracelet Kurt had bought him back on his wrist. He just knew he was going to need it today, having it on made Blaine feel close to him, made him feel loved, and he really needed that.

When he was finished getting dressed, he went into Sere’s room and pulled out the little dress he had planned on putting on her. It was a navy blue and had little flowers all over it. He changed her diaper, put the dress on her and then added a pair of blue tights. He had to smile at how cute she looked, so very proud to be her daddy.

He walked into the living room and found the rest of his family already dressed and ready to go. He quickly heats up a bottle for Sere and then sits down snuggling with her until she was done with it. Blaine had arranged for a limousine to drive them to the funeral home so when it got there, they all walk out and got in.

When they arrive at the funeral home the first thing Blaine notices is all the reporters standing around taking pictures of everyone walking in. It was a star studded event he almost laughed out loud at that thought. He had figured some of the people who had worked with Bryce would show up, but he really had no idea of the amount of people that would.

Blaine was the first to step out of the car and a million light bulbs flashed. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, he turned around reached in the car and was handed Sere he held her so that her head was on his shoulder trying to hide her face as much as possible.  He stepped slightly left and then Cooper stepped out and more lights flashed and reporters started asking questions. They stood there until their mom and dad stepped out of the car.

Cooper moved to the front, raising his hand to get everyone's attention. “We want to thank everyone for the care and concern you have all been showing my brother. At this time we do ask for your continued support as he attempts to get through today. Thank you to everyone who has offered their condolences, it had meant a lot to us. Now if you’ll excuse us” Cooper said and they all headed toward the door

The whole time Blaine stood there he kept his head down he knew if he looked up, looked at Cooper he would laugh. He so just wanted to get this farce over with, he didn’t want to be here acting like he cared, when he just couldn’t anymore.

The five Anderson's made their way into the Chapel, and Blaine did laugh when he looked up and saw the look on the Mitchell's faces as they walked in. Pam heard it, and quickly pulled him into a hug, whispering in his ear “Behave yourself Blaine” as she did so. That had him laughing harder his shoulders shaking.

Because of her actions the laugh was reported in the papers and on TV later as Blaine had broken down crying still holding "their" daughter in his arms. Only one person besides the Anderson's knew the truth, knew that sound for what it was. Sitting in his apartment in New York, Kurt laughs himself as he watches the coverage of the funeral being broadcasted live.

He quickly pulls out his phone and sends a text, knowing Blaine’s phone would be on vibrate, he watched on television as Blaine pulled his phone out his suit pocket, looks at the screen and then looks at the camera, eyes scrunching up,  before wrapping his arms around his mom, laughing again.

Kurt had simply texted Blaine “Behave”

oOoOo

After the funeral service was completed, Mr. Garrison, Bryce’s lawyer asked for everyone in the family to meet at his office, once again stating that that had been Bryce’s wishes. Blaine walked into the office holding Sere and followed by his parents, Cooper opting to sit out in the waiting room, to give the family some privacy knowing he wasn’t really involved in the will and if he had to be in the same room with Bryce’s father, Cooper might say something he shouldn’t so he opts to sit this one out.

When the Mitchell’s walk in they look at Blaine and his parents “We didn’t think you wanted to have anything to do with the funeral Blaine, you said you had no intention of even being there. Is it all the money you think you are about to get that had you showing up. I knew you were just with him for his money” his father said looking at Blaine hatred written all over his face.

Blaine just laughed, “You really have no clue, do you? I have more money than Bryce ever thought about having, that is why the pre nup was done, to protect me, not him. I don’t need his money; I never plan on touching any of it. It will go into a trust for my daughter”

“Whose daughter Blaine, whose daughter” Bryce’s mom screamed making Sere cry when the raised voice scared her.

“MY DAUGHTER June My Daughter” Blaine said loudly holding Sere to his chest covering her ears so his voice didn’t scare her.

“Trust me Blaine you won’t be listed as her father for long. We will be taking custody of her; we are her closest blood relative. You just swooped in and stole her from us.” June Mitchell answered back “And I don’t remember ever giving you permission to call me by my first name MR. ANDERSON” she said looking at Blaine.

“I apologize Mrs. Mitchell but I didn’t swoop in anywhere. I sure as hell didn’t see you getting on a plane and flying to London to be with your son when he lost his best friend. You weren’t there to comfort him, when he felt like his world was falling apart, and as for my daughter … bring it” Blaine said looking at them

“We didn’t go to London, because you were already there with him, corrupting him, making him think he was gay. You turned our son gay, and we had to face all of our friends when he came out like that. We aren’t going to allow you to corrupt our granddaughter as well” Mr. Mitchell finally stepped forward sounding just as angry as his wife.

“I didn’t turn your son gay, you can’t turn someone gay, you are either gay or you’re not, I couldn’t have turned him anything, and as far my daughter is concerned if she does end up being gay, then as far as I am concerned that well be perfectly ok, as long as she is happy, because unlike you her happiness is all I really care about” Blaine said getting upset again.

“Well just a warning Mr. Anderson we have already gotten with a lawyer and we let them know we want to start proceedings to remove you as her father. Bryce was her father not you. She will be coming home with us sooner than you think.” June Mitchell said with a nasty smile on her face like she was enjoying what she was doing.

“And how do you plan on paying for said lawyer, you don’t have any money, and since Bryce died you haven’t been getting any from him.” Blaine asked looking at them

“Don’t concern yourself, we will be able to pay for it with no problem after today” She grinned again and had Blaine wondering if Bryce had changed his will after all.

“Well Mr. and Mrs Mitchell, I wonder how the judge will feel when we tell him that you knew your son was already married, and you told him that he could get remarried, that it would be fine. I wonder how they will take that” Michael Anderson said finally stepping forward having heard enough.

“You have no proof that we knew anything about that, you can’t prove anything” June Mitchell said starting to sound a little nervous

“Yes I do, I have Bryce’s journal, you know his journal, the one he wrote in several times a day, yeah, I have that so yes I do have proof, also, in my closet, in a box he put in there, is every single journal he has ever had from the time he was 13. I found them when I was going through his stuff trying to decide what to do with it” Blaine said with a smile

“You have his journals, we want them Blaine, they were his and we want them” Mr. Mitchell said all color draining from his face, wondering what those journals said.

“Nope, I think I will hold on to them until I make sure I don’t need them anymore, but no, you won’t be getting those” Blaine said just looking at them

“Ok everyone if you are ready, we will get started with the reading of the will.” Mr. Garrison said finally walking into the room

Every one found a seat, Blaine as far away from the Mitchells as he could possibly get.

“This is the last will and testament of Bryce Benjamin Mitchell, I Bryce Mitchell being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath all my worldly goods and property to Blaine Devon Anderson. This includes my bank and savings accounts, my apartments in New York, and Paris, my BMW and my mustang that are in the garage at the New York apartment, also the house I own that my parents currently live in. How you want to handle that property I leave to your complete discretion.”

“Wait a blessed minute, he gave our house to that bastard” Mr. Mitchell screamed standing up knocking the chair he had been sitting in backwards.

“Mr. Mitchell, please calm down so we can finish the reading of the will.” Mr. Garrison said looking shocked by the outburst.

“Fine, just fine, go ahead” Sitting back down but everyone can tell just how mad he really is

“Thank you for walking into my life when you did, for being there for Sere. I am leaving everything to you because I know you will always be there to take care of her. I wish I could have been the father to her that I know you will be, I was just never daddy material” Mr. Garrison finished reading the will, listing everything that would now be Blaine’s including the apartment in London that had passed to Bryce when Shey died.

“What about us, are you saying he didn’t leave us anything” Mrs. Mitchell screamed standing up

Mr. Garrison slowly reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a plain white envelope that had Mom and Dad written on the front in Bryce’s handwriting “He left this for you” Mr. Garrison said passing it over without looking at them.

June quickly jumped on the envelope and tore it open and then just looked at it with her mouth hanging open not understanding as she pulled out a one dollar bill and nothing more.

“Bryce came back to my office Mr. Anderson after you were here with him; he wanted to make a few changes to the will he had signed the day you were both here. He asked me if he could get by without leaving his parents anything. I advised him to leave them something, or else they could potentially, contest the validity of his will. He pulled that bill out of his pocket, asked for an envelope and put that bill in it.”

“So he leaves that asshole everything, all our money, our house?” Mr. Mitchell chimes in again

“Yes Mr. Mitchell he left him everything” Mr. Garrison responded. Now understanding why Bryce had done what he had. “Mr. Anderson, I will be forwarding a copy of this will, and the deeds to all properties that will now be yours to your father who works as your lawyer, if I am correct. Bryce wanted me to advise you that all properties were yours to do with as you see fit, especially the one his parents currently reside in.”

“Mr. and Mrs Mitchell he was very clear to me that he wanted you to have nothing from him at all, I advised him that he had to leave you something hence the $1.00 he left you.” Mr. Garrison finished looking at them. Letting them know that was the end.

“Right now Blaine, you sign the deed of our house over to us right now and reinstate our allowance, and you can keep the little bitch, we don’t want her. So right now, sign it over and she is yours we won’t fight you for her” Mr. Mitchell said with a calculating look on his face

Blaine just sat there in complete shock. Number one he never knew that Bryce would be leaving him the Mitchells house; he hadn’t even known that Bryce owned it to begin with. He slowly stood up, handed the baby to his mom and then walked towards Mr. Mitchell.

“So, what you are saying to me right now is that I can sign the deed over to you and basically buy my daughter, is that what I am hearing from you?” Blaine said in a deathly quiet voice

“Yes, that is what I am saying to you, sign it over now and she is yours” Mr. Mitchell was stupid enough to repeat it. It took everything Blaine had not to deck him

“Oh trust me, I am not signing over ANYTHING to you ever, and I think you need to be out of my house by this weekend. If any damage is done to it I will sue you for every last penny you have or don’t have, and if you ever call my daughter a bitch again Mr. Mitchell I will forget how my parents raised me” Blaine said before turning around and walking away, wanting so much to just hurt the guy.

“You can’t kick us out of our house, you were never even married to Bryce, your marriage wasn’t legal to begin with since he was still married to Jennifer” Mrs Mitchell threw out with a smirk, thinking she was being so smart.

“So, what you are saying, in front of two officers of the court by the way, you are admitting that you knew Blaine and Bryce’s marriage wasn’t legal, and the two of you helped Bryce perpetrate a fraud against Blaine correct” Michael Anderson also stood up at this point

The Mitchells finally were smart enough to not open their mouths, not really knowing what the blow back from this could be, but knowing that they really didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“I expect you out of my house by this weekend, or I will have you arrested for trespassing” Blaine said watching them walk out the door. Once they were gone and the door shut Blaine turns to his parents “If they hadn’t said what they said, offering to let me buy Sere, I would have just signed that house over to them. I don’t want it and it will be something else I am going to have to try to do something with.” Blaine said sitting back down in the chair he had been sitting in

“Mr. Anderson when Bryce was here, he let it slip that he was technically married to someone else, since I was his lawyer, of course I couldn’t say anything” He said looking at Blaine asking in a way for his understanding

“He didn’t want the wording in his will to say he was leaving his possessions to his husband, just your name. He knew that his parents could have come back later stating that since you were never legally married the will wasn’t legal either. That would have voided this will and we would have then used his original one that had left everything to his parents. He was very careful about everything. But, I also do feel I need to inform you that he had an appointment set for next week. He told me he wanted to change his will once again. He never told me what part of it he was wanting to change. I felt I needed to let you know.” Mr. Garrison said looking at him

“Thank you for everything sir, I really appreciate it” Blaine said standing up and shaking his hand before reaching down and taking his sleeping daughter out of his mom’s arms and walking towards the office door, so glad this was finally over.

“Dad, do you think I was wrong, that I should have signed the deed over to them the way they asked” Blaine asked when they had all stepped out the door and it closed behind them.

“I think you did exactly what you needed to do. Don’t worry son if they do decide to fight us we will have the DNA test as a backup, like I said we have just as much right to her as they do, you more so since that adoption made you her legal parent. I don’t see how they can possibly fight that, plus, if we need to we can call Mr. Garrison in to testify to what was said by the Mitchell's. Stop worrying son, I can only imagine how hard that will be, but we have this son trust me” Michael said walking over and hugging his son.

oOoOo

When they walked into Blaine’s apartment he carried Sere into her room, he changed her out of her dress and slipped her into a pair of pajamas knowing they wouldn’t be going back out and then laid her in her crib. He walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of her room, pulling out his phone as he went and called the only person in the world he wanted to talk to and he relaxed for the first time that day hearing that sweet voice.

His parents stayed with him for three days after the funeral, and then his dad needed to head back to Westerville, back to his office. Blaine and Kurt had been talking every day, several times a day and it just felt so normal to pick up his phone and call him.

“I have a question for you,” Blaine said when Kurt answered the phone

“What might that be” Kurt said holding his phone to his ear while reading an email from Isabelle

“Do you have any idea what to do with awards” Blaine asked him standing in front of the cabinet that had all Bryce’s awards in it.

Kurt stops trying to read and pays attention to what Blaine is saying

“I have all of Bryce’s awards, I don’t want them but I really have no idea what to do with them or any of the rest of his shit. I want it gone but really have no clue what to do with it” Blaine answers

“Do you want me to come help you” Kurt offers on the spur of the moment and then it hits him how much he really hopes he will say yes.

“I can’t ask you to do that Kurt” Blaine said, feeling his heart speed up at the thought of getting to see Kurt again.

“Blaine that's what friends do, they are there for each other, to help get through things like this” Kurt said hopeful. He really was ready to see Blaine again, even if it was just as friends.

“I would really like that if you are sure Kurt, not that I don’t want you here but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this” Blaine answered

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to do it. I have several weeks of vacation time built up so I can take a few days. Let me go and tell Isabelle that I won’t be here the rest of the week and then I will go and pack my bag and be on my way” Kurt said standing up and walking out of his office door heading to Isabelle’s office

“Thanks Kurt, you have no idea how much this means to me. I am going to book you a flight and then call you back with the information if you are sure.” Blaine said with his first real smile in a while.

“That sounds perfect” Kurt said before hanging up. He explains to Isabelle what is going on and she tells him to take all the time he needed, and also hints about getting his “friend” to do an interview.

“Hey, it was just a suggestion,” she says with a big grin on her face. She remembers Blaine from when him and Kurt were still together, and is happy for them, that there was a chance they might be able to reconnect. To her they had always seemed perfect for each other.

Blaine managed to get Kurt a flight for 6pm that night that would land in California at 9pm with the three hour time difference. He didn’t want to take anything for granted, wanting Kurt to be comfortable being there, so on the way to pick him up at the airport, he stopped and booked Kurt a room at a motel about 3 miles away from his apartment.

Would he prefer him to be in his apartment yes, but he really didn’t want to assume, plus the only available bedroom was the one he had shared with Bryce, and even though they really didn’t sleep there together often, it would have just felt weird to him. He didn’t even sleep in there anymore, so he wasn’t going to have Kurt in there. It had been one thing letting his parents stay in there, but him and Kurt had been intimate, they had at one time been engaged.

He called his normal babysitter he used when he needed to go out. Not that he didn’t want Sere with him, but he wanted to spend some time alone with Kurt, plus if the paparazzi did show up, he wanted to be able to get out of there fast.

When he gets to the airport, he heads to the security area where Kurt would be exiting, hoping that the paparazzi didn’t see him there. Wanting to get Kurt, take him somewhere for dinner and spend some time together before taking him to the motel for the night.

When he looks up and sees Kurt walking towards him he can’t stop a smile from spreading over his face as his heart beat speeds up. Before he even realizes it he has Kurt in his arms and is hugging him close, never wanting to let him go again.

“I can’t believe you are really here” Blaine whispers in his ear just wanting to pull him close and kiss him, but he tells himself, friends, we are going to be friends so he reigns his feelings in, hugs him really tight for a few minutes more before reaching down grabbing Kurt’s bag and leading him toward the exit. To late he saw the paparazzi, only when he saw the flash from a camera. He reached down, grabbed Kurt hand with his free one and sprinted toward the exit.

“Sorry about that” he said out of breath when he finally got them to his car, walking around opening Kurt’s door for him, a throwback habit from when they had dated so long ago.

“It’s ok” Kurt said looking up at Blaine, still seeing the Blaine he has loved since he was 16 almost 17, not the famous Blaine who was on television. Not the Blaine who had been married to a famous movie and TV actor.

Blaine stood there looking at Kurt, before slowly reaching up his hand to rub Kurt’s cheek so softly, “Kurt, can I kiss you” He whispered so quietly Kurt almost didn’t hear it, so mesmerized by Blaine’s eyes, the ones he used to spend hours staring into. Kurt slowly nodded his head and then watches as Blaine slowly lowers his head, closing his eyes when he felt Blaine’s lips gently rub against his, and just like that he is transported back in time, a time when this beautiful man was his.

Blaine deepens the kiss, slowly sliding his tongue into Kurt’s mouth, tasting him after what feels like forever, sliding his hands down Kurt’s back, down to his ass, pulling him towards him even closer. Every kiss they had shared since they started talking again had been soft, gentle, but this, this was a real kiss, something he had missed so much, but also wanting so much more. 

When Blaine pulled slowly away, he kept his hand on Kurt’s cheek, gently rubbing his face with his thumb. Never taking his eyes off the person he still loved so much. The person he had once loved above all others, now, there was only one person who he loved more, his little Sere.

“Blaine, can I ask you a question” Kurt whispers not taking his eyes off of Blaine, loving the feeling of him rubbing his face. “Why did you ask to kiss me, you have never done that before,” Kurt said feeling a sudden sadness he couldn’t understand

“I asked you Kurt, because every other time I have ever kissed you, except for the first time, you had been mine. Now…” Blaine let his words trail off raising his shoulders, but he never once stopped rubbing up and down Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt stepped closer placing his forehead on Blaine’s shoulder and started to cry, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, pulling him close, beginning to wonder if there was any way back for them, so hoping there was. Needing so much to once again believe.

 

Chapter Text

oOoOo

 

Chapter 14 Dreams

Kurt stood there with his head on Blaine’s shoulder, tears running down his face feeling so much pain, wishing with everything he had that things could be different, that some things had never happened, but he knew he couldn’t re-write the past, he could only hope for the future.

“I’m still yours Blaine, I will always be yours, whenever you are ready for it,” Kurt said softly, lifting his head off of Blaine’s shoulder and looking him in the eyes.

“Kurt” Blaine whispered before bringing both hands up to frame Kurt’s face, and then leans in and places another kiss on his lips, hungry, sensual, deep, and also with a little anger. Their tongues connecting, in a dance they had shared a million times over the years their tongues having their own language.

Blaine pulled away, only when he was out of breath, but not moving away from him, needing his closeness, his heat, and yes his love. He looked down at the face of his angel, the face of the man he loved, seeing his red swollen lips, he dives back in and kisses him again, and before he realizes what he is doing he is pushing Kurt back onto the car, his hardness pressing against Kurt’s, he gasps and then remembers where they are.

They are in a public parking lot, outside of one of the largest international airports in the world, where just a few minutes ago paparazzi had been storming around. Kurt deserved so much more than being tomorrow's headline news, so he gently places another kiss on his cheek and then helped him get into the car and closes the door. Taking Kurt’s suitcase he places it in the trunk and then climbs in the driver’s seat and they are off.

Blaine is kicking himself all the way to the restaurant, friends, we are going to be friends, he keeps telling himself. He knows he can’t lose him again; he can’t live his life without Kurt being in it, in some way being part of it. So if that means they stay only friends, then they stay only friends, he can’t risk not having Kurt in his life again, that had hurt too badly, he had missed him too much, so even though his body was screaming for more, he knows for now he needs to listen to his heart.

oOoOo

Blaine took Kurt to his favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, and they fall right back into step, like they had just had dinner together last night, like this was just another one of their Friday date nights, that had been a tradition he had wanted to keep even after they had become engaged. Blaine had wanted Kurt to know he was still important to him. He still wanted to treat Kurt the way he had when they had first started dating. He didn’t want to ever forget the romance.

“Thank you for that text by the way” Blaine said laughing “I needed that more than you will ever know.”

“Why were you laughing to begin with” Kurt asked with a smile on his face

“Oh my god, if you could have seen the looks on the Mitchell’s faces when I walked in. I had told them that I had no intention of being there, I couldn’t care less what they did, I would pay for it but I wanted nothing to do with the funeral at all, and then I show up with my whole family” Blaine said grinning the grin that Kurt had always loved so much

“So, how did it go” Kurt finally asked looking at Blaine and watched as that grin slip off of his face.

“It went about like I expected it would. Right after the service we had to go to Bryce’s lawyer’s office, he had added to his will that he wanted it read right after the funeral or memorial service whichever was done. Right after we got married, I had changed my will adding him and Sere as my beneficiaries, and he had listed me as his, knowing that I would always take care of her”

“What I didn’t expect was that he was going to leave me everything, and I mean everything. He left me his apartment in Pairs, his apartment and cars in New York that I didn’t even know he had, his bank accounts and the apartment Sere’s mother Shey lived in, in London. He had been left that in her will and that was passed to me as well. The thing that really blew all our minds was that he left me the house his parents are living in as well, telling me to handle that property how I wanted to."

“If his parents hadn’t shown their asses I would have signed it over to them, instead they basically offered to let me buy my daughter from them, in exchange for the house” Blaine finished still feeling disgusted by them

“What do you mean “buy” your daughter? I don’t understand” Kurt looked at him confused.

“The first words out of their mouth when we had walked into the lawyers office was that they were going to fight me for custody of Sere, that way if I got everything through Bryce’s will, as Sere’s guardian they would get access to the money left by Shey for her. They don’t want her they just want the money.”

“Dad feels that since the adoption was legal, that they can’t take her from me, but just to be safe he is having a paternity test run so that we can prove he was Shey’s father and we will have as much legal rights to her with or without the adoption as they do. They told me that if I would sign the house over to them they wouldn’t fight me for custody. I told them where to go, and to be out of my house by Saturday.” Blaine told him still not believing how the Mitchell's had acted.

“Wow, what are you going to do with their house” Kurt asked looking at him.

“I’m going to sell it and put the money in the trust fund that I set up for Sere. The money that Shey left her is in there as well as the money that was in Bryce’s bank accounts. I want nothing to do with any of it, but it is rightfully hers. Everything will be put into that account as soon as I can figure out what to do with it all.”

“I still have everything in my apartment I need to get rid of, and then I need to clear out Shey’s apartment in London as well. When we got Sere, we just went in and packed the stuff we thought we would need for her. We didn’t find out until later that Bryce had been left everything including her apartment, which in turn passed to me. So I have that to clean out as well, and place it on the market. Bryce had been paying the mortgage payments on it until he could figure out what to do with it.”

“I didn’t know her at all, and I have to go in there and try to decide what to just get rid of and what to keep for Sere. There was so much stuff in there, little books and scrapbooks, I can tell she really loved her and I want to make sure Sere knows that one day. I want to find some stuff so she can learn about her mom, not just her public life you know.” Blaine said with a sad look on his fact

“Her public life” Kurt questioned

“Oh crap I didn’t tell you, Sere’s mom was Shey Alexander”

“Damn, no way” Kurt said in awe. He had heard she had died. She had been one of his favorite actresses. He had seen her in a play once.

“Yup, so I have her apartment to clean out, and I have no idea what I am going to find in Paris or New York” Blaine says with a sigh. “I just really wish he had left everything to his parents you know, so that I didn’t have to deal with it. I just want this all to be over, so I can get back to my life, whatever that may be” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“You’ll figure it out Blaine, you always do” Kurt said and meant it. Blaine had always been one of those people who could think on his feet, and make good decisions. Looking back, he wishes he could have learned that from him, he wouldn’t have screwed up as bad as he did.

“I guess” Blaine said shrugging, “Are you ready to get out of here” he asked looking at Kurt, glad to be able to talk to him again. He had missed that, just being able to talk to his friend.

They stood up and right as they were about to walk out the door, Blaine saw lights flashing outside. “Fuck, why can’t they just leave me alone” Blaine said shaking his head. He turns around and looks at Kurt pulling out a pair of sunglasses he always keeps in his pocket and hands them to him.

“I am sorry about this; I don’t know how they found us here, unless someone called them. Just follow me and I will try to get us out of here” Blaine said watching as Kurt slips the glasses on.

“Blaine”

“Blaine, is this your new boyfriend”

“Are you already dating someone?”

“Where is Sere Tonight?”

Blaine just holds up his hands so that everyone quiets down “Sere is with a sitter tonight, this is not my boyfriend, and no I am not dating anyone. He is my best friend from high school who came in to help me settle some things. Goodnight” Blaine said before putting his hand on Kurt’s lower back to guide him through the group of reporters, and then towards his car

Kurt walked beside Blaine feeling a sadness like he had never felt before “best friend from high school” is what he had called him, and that had hurt him so bad. They had been boyfriends, fiancé’s, lovers. They hadn’t been best friends in a long time, not since Dalton, but Kurt realizes in that moment that is all they were now, he was on the same level as Sam, and he wanted to cry. He just hoped he could hold off until they got to Blaine’s apartment so he could go into his bathroom and breakdown.

Blaine pulled up outside the Beverly Wilshire, and parked his car “You live here” Kurt asked looking at him. He had talked about an apartment; he hadn’t thought it would be in a hotel.

“No I don’t live here, I live about 3 miles away, I got you a room here” Blaine said stepping out of the car before walking around to let him out. Kurt stepped out and just looked at Blaine not understanding at all, watching as he walked over to the trunk to grab out Kurt’s suitcase and then walk toward the hotel door, and then once they get inside he leads Kurt over to the reception desk, Kurt following behind him feeling so lost. “Hi, I booked a room for Kurt Hummel” Blaine told the woman behind the desk.

She pulls up her records and passes him a key card “Yes sir, we have him booked in room 346, take the middle elevator and it will take you to the correct floor, please let us know if there is anything you need Mr Hummel, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

Blaine guides him to the elevator she had mentioned, stepped into it and pressed the button for the third floor; he reached down, and took Kurt’s hand. He had been wanting to touch him since they left the airport, but this was the first time all night he had allowed himself too. When they step out of the elevator, Blaine guides Kurt to his room, still holding his hand. He stops in front of Kurt’s door opens it for him and then hands him the key card.

“I don’t understand” Kurt said quietly looking into Blaine’s face, still trying his best not to break down

Blaine finally sees how Kurt is looking, and understand immediately; he quickly walks them into the room, shutting the door behind them and then he is pulling Kurt into his arms. “Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. I thought you would be more comfortable here tonight. My apartment only has two bedrooms, one of them is the nursery and the other was mine and Bryce’s room. I am not even sleeping in there anymore, I couldn’t ask you too. I have been sleeping in the living room in a pull out bed since I got home from Morocco.”

“I didn’t mean to make you think I didn’t want to be with you. Nothing could be farther from the truth” Blaine said leaning in and placing a sweet kiss on Kurt’s lips “I love you Kurt, please don’t ever forget that” Blaine said before stepping back from him.

“If you want, I can be here first thing in the morning, and pick you up, take you to my apartment and we can figure out what to do from there” Blaine said before kissing him again.

“Ok” Kurt said trying to smile and failing

“Oh sweetheart, we will figure all this out I promise. I will be here in the morning at 8 unless that is too early for you” Blaine asks feeling like an ass for not thinking about how this whole thing would look to Kurt

“No, that won’t be too early,” Kurt quietly said and then watched Blaine as he opened the door, walking out and down the hall. Kurt walked over to the bed sat down and then fell apart. He hated this, the separation, and knew he had no one to blame for it but himself, this was all on him.

oOoOo

Blaine woke up screaming. He had just had another nightmare. This time it had been about his and Kurt’s first break up.  The nightmare had been so very real; it had started with him telling Kurt about Eli, about what he had done, begging Kurt to forgive him, not to end them. He had watched as Kurt had started crying and then watched as he had run away.

He had fallen to his knees and cried, pulling on his hair screaming, before standing up and running after him trying to catch him. He had to make him listen, to understand. And like always, that is where the dream ended. But he can still remember every second of that night.

He had shown up at Kurt’s door. He wasn’t supposed to be there for another two weeks, but, he had to confess, he had to tell him what he had done. He had never lied to Kurt before and to him not confessing would have been the same as a lie. So he had gotten on a plane, headed for New York. He remembers he had never been so nervous in his life. He saw the flower shop on the way to the apartment and stopped and bought some roses. Looking back, he doesn’t really know why he had done it, but it had just felt so right.

He had wanted to just spend time with Kurt, somewhere private to have the conversation he knew they needed to have. He still hadn’t wanted to talk to him about it, because he knew it was going to end them, and it had. That had been one of the worst nights of his life. He had sung at callbacks that night, and still wishes he had chosen any other song but Teenage Dream, that had been their song. It had been something special between them and he had ruined it.

Kurt had known right away that something was wrong, he had known him so well, he knew everyone of Blaine’s moods, he could just tell. When he asked Blaine what was wrong he had to tell him the truth. He had to break Kurt’s heart, breaking his own in the process. It hadn’t even been worth it, nothing could have been worth losing his Kurt.

He hadn’t felt anything, he remembers he had just felt numb, he never told Kurt but he hadn’t gone all the way with Eli that night, up until Bryce, Kurt had been the only person he had ever made love to. He had kissed Eli, they had gotten into his bed and Blaine had started making out with him, it had felt good at first. Eli had really gotten into it, but not Blaine, he couldn’t go all the way, he hadn’t even gotten hard.

He cried harder than he ever had when he had gotten home knowing nothing in his life would ever be the same again, he had just ruined everything. He had gone to his parents, letting them know he needed to go to New York and see Kurt, he had messed up. They had taken one look at his face and agreed. His mom not knowing what had happened just hugged him tight and told him to be careful.

After Kurt had ran off Blaine had followed him back to his apartment, still hoping they could talk, hoping they could still work this out. He had known he had messed up, but still had hope that they could fix it. Kurt had quietly told him, he could sleep in his room that night, Blaine could hear the unspoken words, that he would be expected to leave the next morning.

He had stood there and watched as Kurt reached into a drawer, grabbed out a pair of pajamas and walked out of the room with them opting to change his clothes in the bathroom. That was the first time Kurt had done that. They had made love to each other hundreds of times, Blaine had seen every inch of Kurt’s beautiful body, and that hit him harder than any words could have. It was really over.

He had watched Kurt come back into the room, eyes red rimmed. He walked to his side of the bed, pulled down the covers, slipped between the sheets, turning his back to Blaine, before turning off the bedside lamp. Blaine had stood there watching him for a few minutes, watching his shoulders shake as he quietly cried. Blaine had wanted to run up to him, pull him into his arms and hold him tight, but he knew he no longer had that right, so he had quietly pulled out the pair of pajamas he had brought with him, walked into the bathroom and changed.

When he walked back into Kurt’s room, his shoulders were no longer shaking, his breathing had evened out, but Blaine still heard the hiccups coming from his beautiful boy, his love, he had fallen asleep crying and it had been his fault. He had been the one to cause that pain, something he never thought he would do.

He had quietly walked to his side of the bed and crawled in, rolling on his side, he turned off the light and broke down. He still wonders how Kurt had let him do it, be there in his bed after what he had done, and Blaine had cried a little harder. That had been the longest night of his life. He had finally drifted to sleep at around 3 am. 

That night the apartment had been filled with so much tension between Kurt and Blaine and also between Rachel and Finn; two relationships had ended that night. Two relationships that Blaine had always thought would make it. Especially him and Kurt, he had never had a doubt they would.

 When Blaine had woken up, Kurt had no longer been in bed. He quietly got up, got dressed and went looking for Kurt. He found him in the living room. Blaine had wanted Kurt to yell, scream, to fight, something, but he hadn't. He had just looked at him with a sad crushed expression on his face and just asked "Why"

Sere crying, brought Blaine out of his thoughts, the way he felt, it could have happened yesterday, well the way he was feeling both breakups could have happened yesterday. He felt so raw, so exposed, and yes he felt hurt. He realized that even with everything he had gone through with Bryce, nothing could ever hurt him as much as the pain he felt with Kurt. Either after what he had done to Kurt, or what Kurt had done to him.

“What’s wrong baby, I’m sorry I woke you up” he said picking her up holding her tight, once again knowing that if it wasn’t for her, he didn’t know what he would do. He went over and changed her diaper and then carried her into the kitchen to heat her up a bottle, and then he walked with her into the living room, he sat down in the rocking chair and started to gently rock her.

“What would you say about us finding a new place to live, huh? Shake some old memories and make some new ones. I have someone we are going to spend some time with today. You met him in New York, he is someone really special to daddy, he is my oldest friend” he said softly to Sere looking down into her beautiful face

When she finished her bottle he placed her head gently on his shoulder and just rocked, holding her, not ready to let her go yet. He needed to just hold her to chase away the feelings he had had when he woken up. He was going to be meeting Kurt later and needed to have a clear mind when he did. He wondered once again if these nightmares would ever end.

He softly started singing a song, never once stopping his rocking

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

 

He slowly raises his hand up, to wipe the tears that were now streaming down his face. Wondering can he do this, can he trust again, and if he did, and if it ended, could he survive it again. It had been bad enough when he was alone, but now he had his beautiful little girl to worry about.

Did he trust enough to let another person in her life? Could he take the chance of her getting hurt? That was something he really needed to decide before he moved on any further. Letting himself get hurt was one thing but letting her get hurt was a completely different story.

oOoOo

At 4:30 Blaine stands up and carries Sere to her room, and places her in her crib. He had been thinking about the past, everything that had happened. When he was younger, everything had seemed so promising, after everything that had happened at Carson, when his parents had transferred him to Dalton, he had thrived, he finally found the place he fit in, the place where he belonged.

Then, he met Kurt and his life had really begun, he had fallen so hard for him. Kurt had quickly become the center of his universe. He couldn’t see himself without seeing Kurt beside him, until he had too, but if he was honest with himself he had grown, he had become himself again, found his own center, one that wasn’t centered on Kurt. He had become strong again.

Looking back on everything that happened, every bad decision he had made, had gotten him here. Yes, part of it he would gladly redo, but he had proven to himself, that he could survive on his own, he was stronger than he had ever thought he was. He also realizes that anyone can hurt you, and knock you down, but he can’t keep spending his life afraid of being hurt, he had to believe again.

He was ready to try living again, and he knew who he wanted to do that with. It was time to believe again. Kurt had forgiven him, when he had messed up, it had taken him a while but he had forgiven him. Being apart again had shown Blaine what he wanted out of life, it showed him how important Kurt was to him. It also showed him that it was time to forgive.

When they had hooked up after Rachel’s house party and he had told Kurt he felt they needed to stay broken up, he knew he had made the right decision for himself then, but now he feels he is ready to try again.  Looking at the clock, he realizes he still has 3 hours before he said he would pick Kurt up. He smiles and walks into his room and takes a quick shower and gets dressed.

Walking back into the living room, he pulls out his keyboard and starts playing, he plays Teenage Dream, Somewhere only we know, Perfect, and ends with American Boy remembering Kurt singing that song with him at his showcase remembering the look on Kurt’s face when he had told the room that he wanted to sing with his fiancé, he remembers how proud he had been to say those words.

At 6:30 Blaine gives up waiting, he goes back into his room, opens up his top dresser drawer and pulls out his bracelet. He is ready to fight again, fight to get his Kurt back, he was ready. He went into Sere’s room and gently picked her up. Not even bothering to change her, he will do that when he gets home, but he does throw a few diapers and wipes in her diaper bag and he is heading out the door.

On the way to the hotel he swings into Starbucks and grabs himself a medium drip and Kurt a grande nonfat mocha, he smiles when he thinks of how many times he had ordered that exact drink for Kurt, thinking about the first time he had ordered it without asking Kurt what he wanted first. Kurt had looked at him shocked and said “You remembered my coffee order” Blaine had just answered of course, as if he could forget anything Kurt, even then.

When he pulls into the parking lot of the motel, he steps out, slings the diaper bag over his shoulder, unhooks the infant car seat from its base, then grabs the coffee and is heading inside, only an hour early. Kurt won’t hurt him too bad he thinks with a laugh. He takes the elevator up to the third floor, sets Sere down in front of Kurt’s door so he has a free hand and then knocks.  Blaine leaned on the door jamb for five minutes before he watches the door slowly open, and he sees Kurt, and can only smile. Oh yeah he was definitely ready.

“Blaine,” Kurt says softly, eyes blinking from the lights in the hallway, and Blaine sees how puffy Kurt’s eyes were; he had gone to sleep crying. Blaine promises himself that he will never allow that to happen again, he will work hard to never make Kurt cry again

“I did say 7 didn’t I” Blaine said looking at him with a sheepish smile, “I brought coffee...” knowing that if you were going to wake Kurt up early on a day he didn’t have to work there had better be coffee or snuggles involved, he had the coffee, and hopes for the other later after they talk.

“Umm I could have sworn you said 8” Kurt said with the beginnings of a smile on his face reaching out and grabbing his cup of coffee, and taking a big sip sighing. “You always knew the best ways to wake me up” Kurt smiled and then realized what he said and looked up at Blaine to see how he was going to take that.

“Oohh really” Blaine said reaching down grabbing Sere’s carrier and moving her into the room shutting the door, he sets his coffee down on the dresser, before reaching out taking Kurt’s and sets it beside his, then he is grabbing Kurt, pulling him into his arms and kissing him, hard, heavy, sliding his tongue into his mouth tasting coffee and Kurt, his two favorite flavors in the world.

He slowly backs Kurt up until his back is pressed against a wall. Blaine braces his forearms on the wall beside Kurt’s head, kissing all over his face along his jaw, to his ear. “I love you Kurt” he whispered it in his ear, never meaning it more “I want you Kurt” he whispered next slowly pressing his hardness into Kurt so he can feel just how badly he wanted him. “I want you with me forever” he said softly before attacking his lips again.

“What did you say” Kurt said turning his head a little so he could talk

“I love you Kurt” Blaine said leaning back in to kiss him again a smile on his face knowing exactly what he was talking about

“No, what else did you say” Kurt said turning his head away again so he could talk

Blaine kissed his neck, and up to his ear “I need you Kurt” he said pushing his hips forward once again letting Kurt know just how bad he wanted him.

“Blllaaaaiiinnee” Kurt whined. Blaine could only laugh he had so missed that, how Kurt would sound when he was getting frustrated when he wanted Blaine to repeat himself, and Blaine would say everything but the one thing he wanted him too.

Blaine stood back, the smile dropping off his face, looking Kurt in the eyes 100% serious “I want you with me forever” he said reaching out and holding both of Kurt’s hands in his

“I love you Kurt, I have missed you so much. I can’t regret the turns my life took because I wouldn’t have that little girl over there. But I am done fighting it Kurt” Blaine said leading Kurt over to the bed so they could set down.

“I have been so afraid of being hurt again, that I have been afraid to live. I realized this morning that I had to let go of the fear, let go of past mistakes, because until I did, I would never really be able to move forward. I want you back Kurt in every way, as my friend, my boyfriend, my lover, my everything”.

“Things won’t be easy, and I know that we have a lot we need to work through, plus I now have a daughter who depends on me and who I love to distractions. She will always have to be my number one priority” Blaine said looking at him, placing a soft kiss on his lips

“Kurt, will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my boyfriend again, will you put up with my crazy, and let me be part of your life again. Like I said I know it won’t be easy, but I think “WE” have always been worth it”

“Blaine, are you serious” Kurt whispered with tears running down his face before a smile spread across his face “Yes, yes, yes a million times yes” Kurt said laughing before jumping onto Blaine pushing him down on the bed, placing a hundred kisses all over his face

When Sere started fussing, Blaine stood up “What is it sweet girl did the bad man attack your daddy, huh did he, well whatever are we going to do about that” Blaine said picking her up and placing soft kisses over her face making her giggle the way he loves. “Shall we attack him back, you see daddy knows all his tickle spots” Blaine said walking back over to the bed still holding her with a mischievous look on his face.

“Blaine, don’t you dare” Kurt said his voice getting higher

“Well you see, Sere feels we need to get back at you for attacking me” Blaine said winking at him “Oh well I guess we'll just have to settle for a kiss.” Blaine said before leaning down and placing a small kiss on Kurt’s lips

“Are you ready to get out of here” He said placing one more kiss on his lips

“Yeah let me get dressed” he said, before standing it and grabbing some clothes out of his suitcase and walking into the bathroom to get dressed. Blaine hated that, wanting them to get back to where they were, but knowing it will take a while before they are.

When Kurt stepped back out of the bathroom, he saw that Blaine was changing Sere, and he saw the bracelet for the first time and could only smile, he was wearing it again. Blaine had planned on asking him to be his boyfriend again before he even got here. It wasn’t a spur of the moment thing, and Kurt became happier than he had been in a while.

Blaine puts Sere back in her car seat, picks her up and waits for Kurt “Grab your suitcase you won’t be staying here tonight” Blaine said with a soft smile, because he wanted Kurt to be with him.

“Are you sure Blaine” Kurt asked looking at him

“I have never been more sure about anything” he said and stood back and watched as Kurt repacked everything into his suitcase, picked it up and then Blaine grabbed his hand and held it down the elevator, over to the reception desk to check Kurt out, and then outside and too his car.

 He drove to his apartment, feeling a little nervous about taking Kurt into the apartment he had shared with Bryce, wondering for the first time if he was going to find it weird, and also wondering if this was too much, too fast.

“Kurt sweetheart, are you sure you want to do this, that you are ok with this, if you don’t want to I understand” Blaine said looking at him, not wanting to jeopardize something that he had just gotten back.

“I’m sure Blaine, trust me this will be fine” Kurt said but feeling a little dread as well. He really hated that Blaine had been with someone else, had “married” this person, when he had always thought it would be them that got married, once again regretting past mistakes.

While Blaine got Sere out of her seat and grabbed her diaper bag, Kurt let himself out of the car. Blaine had always opened the door for him, he had once explained to him that he loved just taking care of him, but Blaine now had someone else to take care of, and even though they were starting over, he needed to figure where he now stands in Blaine’s life, hoping that they can make it work again.

Kurt followed Blaine into the building, watched as he waved at the security sitting behind a big desk and then walked over to an elevator that he had to put a key card in before the elevator would even open.

“After “Always” aired, and we got Sere, we had to move to a safer building” Blaine said explaining the elevator, hoping that now that he planned on getting out of the business, and once everything blew over with Bryce’s death that he could move back into a normal life without the paparazzi hounding them.

Blaine stepped out of the elevator followed by Kurt, he turned left down the hall and stopped in front of his door and unlocked and opened it and stood back and let Kurt in. The first thing he realized was that he had been in such a hurry to leave and get to Kurt; he had forgotten to put the pull out bed away. “Sorry, give me a sec” Blaine said smiling at Kurt and taking a sleeping Sere into her room and putting her in the crib.

When he walked back into the living room, he saw Kurt standing in front of the cabinet where all the awards were kept “Yeah there are a bunch of them” Blaine said walking behind him, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist, loving having him back in his arms

“Which ones are yours” Kurt asked and watched as Blaine pointed his out.

“Ok, you said you didn’t know what to do with Bryce’s, I had an idea, why don’t you donate them to a charity, they can auction them off and make money. I remember growing up hearing about the Children’s Miracle Network. They were always having telethons to raise money to help kids, or even Saint Jude, they do a lot of good too, you can donate them to something like that, that way you aren’t throwing them away and they will go to a cause we can both stand behind.

“I love that Kurt, how do we get a hold of them” Blaine asked turning Kurt to face him

“Do you have a computer” Kurt asked

“Yes, hang on” He walked into his bedroom and pulled it out of his old Dalton messenger bag he still carried his laptop in, and could do nothing but smile. This is the same laptop he used when he was going to NYADA, when he left school he never felt the need to replace it.

The last time Kurt had seen it was when he was still living with Mercedes and Sam. He had cooked dinner for them for their Friday date night, instead of going out somewhere; he remembers he had just wanted to spend time with Kurt alone. He had been having a really hard time adjusting to college life, and had really started feeling insecure with himself, with his body, and had just wanted to spend the night holding Kurt.

Kurt had talked him into walking to see a movie and eating a salad at one of their favorite restaurants, instead of eating the heavy meal he had made for them. When Kurt had opened up the laptop to find showtimes, the first thing he saw was the website Frat Boi Physicals, Kurt had just walked away and left the apartment, Blaine had seen how hurt he was and promised himself he would never put him through that again,  after that he had never gone back to that site or any like it again.

He carries it into the living room, and plugs it up and passes it to Kurt. “Am I going to find anything interesting when I open this up” Kurt asks recognizing the laptop right away

“No” Blaine laughs kissing Kurt on his cheek

Kurt pulls up the website for both charities and they research them. Blaine likes the idea of giving something to a charity that does research for childhood diseases. Now that he has a baby, he thinks about things like that more, how he would feel if that was his child going through something like that.

“Let’s do St Jude, I like what they do, and what they stand for” Blaine said looking at Kurt

Kurt looks through the website and finds a telephone number for their business office. Blaine calls it, introduces himself and talks to them about what he wants to do, what he wants to donate.

“Do you know if you would be interested in any of the clothes, or just the awards?”

“Yes I do have some of them that he wore to different events and pictures that show him wearing them”

“Yes ma’am that will work, when do you think someone could be here”

“Yes ma’am today would actually be perfect I need to be in New York tomorrow”

“Yes ma’am I would be happy too, if you have some printed out”

“Ok I will see them then, just tell them to go to security and then I can buzz them in”

“You are welcome, have a good day”

“Wow” Blaine said hanging up and turning around to look at Kurt. “They are sending some people over now. They want the awards and the clothes; I need to pull out Bryce’s photo album.  He has a lot of pictures that show him in a lot of the clothes he had. They can use them as provenance for the clothes; they also asked if I would be willing to sign some pictures they could sell as well, I wasn’t expecting that at all.”

“It would seem that they are working on getting some stuff together for an auction right now, hence their rush to come and get everything, they said they would be here in an hour.” Blaine said still in shock that they wanted his signature. Sometimes he still can’t believe the publicity he gets. He is just a normal man who walked onto a show and loved doing it. He wasn’t interested in ever doing another one, but had loved working on that show.

“So, you need to be in New York tomorrow” Kurt said looking at him, he had been a little surprised by that. Blaine hadn’t said anything about going there and now Kurt wonders if this is away to politely get away from him

“Not necessarily need to, but I figured if we could get a lot of this cleared out today, we might be able to go check out the New York apartment and see what I am going to be dealing with there. I am hoping there isn’t that much to be honest.” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“Oh so you were wanting me to go with you” Kurt asked feeling better, he wasn’t trying to get away from him

“Shit, sorry Kurt, I guess I should have asked instead of just assuming you would want to go with me,” Blaine said looking at him hoping he would want to come but understanding if he doesn’t

“No, that’s fine I would love to go with you” Kurt said leaning over and kissing him

Within an hour the representatives from St. Jude were there, he showed them the awards. He had taken his out and moved them to the bedroom. Even though he didn’t plan on staying in show business, he planned on keeping his awards, who knows maybe Sere will want them one day. He shows them to the bedroom and to Bryce’s closet, and also hands them the photo album. He told them they could keep whatever they wanted and do whatever they wanted to with the rest.

He signed the form they handed him, where he was stating that everything in the collection had belonged to Bryce Mitchell. They could make several copies to put with the clothes that didn’t have pictures showing Bryce wearing them. He then went back into the living room and signed the glossies they had brought of him, so they could auction them for money as well.

“Thank you so much for your generosity; this will go a long way to help us reach our goal this year. We are just sorry we are getting it under the circumstances we are. Thank you once again Mr. Anderson, we apologize for your loss” Mrs Baker said as shock his and Kurt’s hand and then they were walking out the door.

Blaine already felt better; he had just gotten rid of everything that Bryce had left here. It would be nice to come home and not have to look at it anymore.

“One down, three more to go” Blaine said with a sigh. It was almost over.

He pulled Kurt into his arms and just held him; he had made everything so easy. He doesn’t know how he would have handled it without him. Then he has a thought

“Kurt, do you still have your passport?”

oOoOo

 

A/N: Song in this chapter is  The Sound of Silence By Disturbed

 

Chapter Text

 

oOoOo

Blaine was going back to New York, the one place he never thought he would ever go again. The place he had once been happier than he had ever been in his life. He had been with Kurt, he was going to NYADA, he was engaged to the love of his life, and they were living together, a family of their own. But one night it had ended, the happiness New York had once filled him with had been taken away, now he didn’t know what he would find, how he would feel when he got there.

“No sweetheart I’ll meet you there, I need to take Sere to mom, she said she would watch her for a few days since I don’t know what I will be facing at the apartment” Blaine said pulling Kurt into his arms.

If he was honest, yes Kurt could go with him to his mom’s so he could drop the baby off and then they both could head back to New York together, but the last time he flew to New York he had been with Kurt, and that whole experience had not ended well. 

It had been right after his graduation, and even though he knows he shouldn’t think about, he remembers how Kurt had been acting odd even then. All the warning signs had been there, but he either he hadn’t recognized them or had  just ignored them.

Blaine had noticed something after April had made the comment about teen marriage, during one of the last glee club meetings, when the glee club ended forever at McKinley, Sue Sylvester had finally won. Kurt had been quiet most of the flight, he had just seemed off, but by the time they landed he seemed to be back to normal, all seemed right in their world again.

Something about getting back on a plane with Kurt right now scared him, he didn’t want to jinx something that had just started again, he knew it was something he had to work through if him and Kurt were ever going to work, but right now he just thought it would be easier for Kurt to head home, and then Blaine would meet him there in the morning. His original thought had been to go to New York today, but decided to go tomorrow so he could talk to his parents and let them know about him and Kurt reconnecting.

Once they were done in New York Blaine wanted to go to Lima and talk to Burt if Kurt was ok with that. He wanted their families to know what was going on with them before the public found out.

“I don’t mind going to Westerville with you Blaine, and then we can just fly out together” Kurt said looking at him, not really understanding, not wanting to leave him so soon after getting back together. He didn’t know what, but something felt wrong with Blaine, and he didn’t like it.

“I know you don’t mind, but I need to talk to dad and check on the adoption situation anyway, I’ll spend the night there and I’ll call you when I land in the morning, and then we can go from there.” Blaine said placing a soft kiss on the sweetest lips he had ever seen. He was going to miss him.

“Are you ok Blaine” Kurt asks looking at him, but what he really wanted to ask was are we ok, not liking this feeling at all. He finally understood how Blaine had felt all the times he had done this to him. Kurt felt like Blaine was somehow pulling away from him, and he hated it, he hated this.

“I’m fine Kurt I promise. I just want to get her settled with mom, and talk to dad for a few minutes.  I will be back with you first thing in the morning.” Blaine said looking down into the eyes of the person that had made him the happiest person in the world and the person that had also torn him apart more than he ever thought possible. He loved having him back in his life, loved being able to hold him again, but was still a little scared. That was something he was going to have to work through.

“Ok, if you are sure” Kurt said trying his best not to break down.

“Come on sweetheart, everything is going to be fine I promise” Blaine said kissing him again, pulling him close, not really wanting to let him go, but knowing that he needed to. He needed some time to think. He had rushed into relationships before, and he didn’t want to rush this one, this one meant too much to him, this one was to important, this time it had to be done right.

They had spent a really good night together. After the people from St Jude had come and picked everything up, they had gone out and ate dinner at one of Blaine’s favorite restaurants, and then had come back to his apartment. After he had given Sere a bath and put her to bed, they had spent the night cuddled up on the couch watching their favorite movies until neither one of them could hold their eyes open any longer. Blaine was back in his happy place.

After the movie had gone off, after checking on Sere one more time, Blaine had went back into the living room and pulled out the couches hide-a bed and they had snuggled up together all night, Kurt back where he was always supposed to be, back in Blaine’s arms.

When Blaine had woken up the next morning something had just felt off, what he didn’t know. He gently pulled away from Kurt, a smile on his face, happier than he had been in a long time, but then the doubts started flooding in. He sat on the side of the bed thinking.

He knew he had made the right decision letting Kurt back into his life, back into his heart, he needed “Them”, he needed it to breathe but he also knew he needed to get his head on straight. The thought of flying into New York again with Kurt for some reason had scared him, and until he figured out why he needed to do it alone.

“I’m going to go pack for me and Sere and then we can go to the airport together” Blaine said giving Kurt another kiss and then pulls away walking into his bedroom to get his carryon. He quickly packs enough clothes for himself for a few days, and then goes into the baby’s room and packs for her

“Hello my darling girl, are you ready to go see Nana and Pops” Blaine asked picking her up out of her crib, placing kisses all over her face until she giggles. If nothing else in his world was right, this at least was perfect.

Blaine changed her clothes, picked up their bags and headed back into the living room. While he had been gone Kurt had put the bed away, and had straightened up, this made Blaine smile.

“I’m going to get her a bottle and feed her really quick and then we can head out” Blaine said walking up to Kurt placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Do you want me to hold her while you make her bottle” Kurt ask quietly looking at Blaine, wondering what he would say, knowing at one point in Blaine’s life he had been his center, now his world revolved around Sere, and if ever hoped to be part of that world again, he needed to get to know her. Kurt understood that Blaine one day might decide to walk away from him, but he would never walk away from her.

“Are you sure” Blaine asked with his heart jumping in his chest, Kurt had never asked to hold her before, had never really had any interaction with her

“I am positive” Kurt said with a grin, reaching out as Blaine gently passed her to him. He wondered if she would cry being held by a stranger, but she just looked up at Kurt and giggled. Kurt could do nothing but laugh before walking with her to the couch, sitting down looking down into the face that looked so much like Blaine’s, and he was lost. In that instant that little girl stole his heart, and he never wanted it back.

He gently raised her up so that she was snuggled better in his arms and started to softly sing to her. Blaine had to listen closely to hear what song he had chosen

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Less than perfect

Blaine could do nothing but smile, standing there watching the two most important people in his life, Kurt singing the song that had always been “ their ” song to his daughter, and her just grinning up at Kurt, had Blaine’s heart swelling until it felt like it was going to explode.

He walked into the kitchen heated up a bottle, and carried it into the living room to Kurt. “Do you want to feed her” Blaine asked softly

“Yes, I would” Kurt said with a big grin spreading across his face. Blaine handed Kurt the bottle and then sat down on the couch beside him, he placed his arm across Kurt’s shoulder’s pulling him closer and snuggling into his side. Blaine leans his head against Kurt’s and watches as the connection forms between Kurt and Sere. Blaine knew in that instant, his family was finally whole.

After Sere finished her bottle, they head to the airport, Kurt to fly back to New York and Blaine to Ohio. Blaine walks with Kurt as far as the security check in and then pulls him into his arms, gently kissing him, missing him already

“I’ll call you when my plane lands in the morning and we can figure out what to do then” Blaine says and then places another kiss on Kurt’s cheek.

“Will you call me later” Kurt asked for some reason feeling like this was really a goodbye and not liking it at all.

“Of course I will” Blaine said tilting his head looking at Kurt “Sweetheart is everything ok” he asks looking at him, now worried.

“I don’t know but for some reason I feel like I am losing you again” Kurt answered finally voicing his worry. He was scared to death that Blaine was once again going to decide that they wouldn’t work after all. They hadn’t reconnected like they had in the past. Last night they had shared kisses and cuddles and nothing else. Kurt had expected more, had longed for more.

Blaine brought up both his hands, placing them on Kurt’s cheeks, framing his face. “Sweetheart, you are not losing me, I can’t live my life without you again. Am I worried about us, to be honest yes, because if things go bad again, it’s not just us that could potentially get hurt, now I have a little girl to worry about.”

“I honestly feel like we have this Kurt, or I wouldn’t have gotten back with you, but I was thinking this morning, that I have a habit of jumping into things to quickly, like our engagement. Do I regret asking you to marry me, no, but I think it would have been better to have waited a little longer. We had been back together all of 3 days when I asked you to marry me after being separated for almost six months. We should have taken our time, and that was my fault.”

“I jumped into a marriage that other than bringing me Sere was the worst mistake of my life. We are too important Kurt to rush, we need to get to know each other again. Do I know I love you yes, do I know that I will love you for the rest of my life yes, but do I know what tomorrow is going to bring us no and that scares me a little. I want to rebuild us Kurt, rebuild our relationship, not jump into it but take our time. We are so worth it” Blaine said before leaning in and kissing Kurt one more time.

Kurt stood there looking at him he understood, he really did, but it was still scary to think about, what if Blaine decided that it was too much trouble. Is that something he could live with, all he knew was that he had no choice but to try. A life without Blaine wasn’t an option. If the first breakup hadn’t taught him that, then the last one had.

Once Kurt walked through security and out of Blaine’s sight he turned and headed to his own gate, missing him already.

When Blaine’s plane lands in Ohio, he gets a cab to his parent’s house, when it pulls up outside he looks up and sees his mom walking out the front door with a smile on her face, he smiles back, glad to be back home. He pays the driver, and unbuckles Sere’s car seat and walks towards her. She hugs him and then walks with him inside.

“Dinner is ready, come on we will eat and then we can talk” Pam said reaching out and taking the car seat from Blaine and sitting it on the couch, before unbuckling Sere and picking her up. The three of them walk into the dining room to join his dad, his mom talking to the baby the whole time. His dad stands up and gives him a hug, and they eat dinner, talking enjoying their time together, once they finish eating they all head into the den.

“Ok, I have something I want to talk to you about, as you know me and Kurt started talking again right after Bryce died, he has been there for me, someone to talk to. I realized that I still loved him. We have gotten back together, I wanted to let you know” Blaine said looking at them

“Blaine, do you think that is a good idea after everything that has happened, everything he has put you through” his mom asked looking at him worried “I don’t want to see you get hurt again

“Mom, we both messed up, we both made mistakes in our relationship. I think we needed the time apart to show us how much we do love and need each other” Blaine answered her

“Son, are you sure you aren’t jumping into this because you just lost Bryce. I know what he turned out to be, what he put you through, but you cared enough about him to marry him, are you sure you over him enough to think about getting into another relationship” Michael asks him looking worried

“To be honest I married him because of Sere. I know this is going to sound bad, but I never loved him, yes I cared about him, and until I learned everything, I really thought we could make it work. I fell so in love with Sere, I wanted to be her father, I knew right away Bryce was in over his head with her, I could be there to help him, and I could adopt her”

“I never got over Kurt, yes I was mad, and I was hurt, but once I got over that I knew I still loved him. I know I shouldn’t have married Bryce, he probably would have let me adopt Sere anyway, but I honestly thought we would be ok. The more often he was gone on this shoot or that one, the more time I was left alone with just the baby, the more time I had to realize just what I had been missing.”

“Me and Bryce were ok for the first month, but after that to be honest it was hell, I fought myself to stay with him. I also need to tell you that I saw a lawyer the day Bryce left home for the last time, I was filing for divorce. I was over it, I was done, I had finally had enough” Blaine said looking at his parents, finally telling them

“Why didn’t you say something Blaine” his mom looked at him with a sad expression on her face, hating that he had gone through that alone.

“I felt like a failure mom, I couldn’t even hold my marriage together for six months. I hated the idea of having to tell you, but I knew after that first month what a mistake I had made. I started off having some feelings for him, but by the end to be honest I hated him”

“And you don’t think getting back with Kurt will be a mistake” Michael said standing up pacing in front of him, “He broke up with you twice son, he hurt you twice”

Crap, they were going to make him tell them everything. He looked at them, knowing it was finally time to tell them something he had hoped he would never have too.

“Kurt had a good reason for the first break up” Blaine said not able to look at them, standing up himself and walking over to the window looking out for a minute before turning around and finally facing them

“When he went to New York, he got really busy with school and vogue, I took it that he was pulling away from me, that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was wrong, he just hadn’t figured out how to juggle everything yet. Instead of me going to New York and making him talk to me I cheated on him”

“You What?” Pam and Michael said at the same time looking at him shocked

“Yes, I am the reason for the first break up. Kurt had every reason to break up with me, I broke his trust. As for the second break up that was a combination of things. When he came back to Lima, when we were closing out glee one of the old members had made a comment about how that is what the world needed, another teen marriage that will end after a year in divorce”.

“I didn’t really think anymore about it. What I didn’t realize was that Kurt was having doubts of his own. He didn’t know if we were ready, he got nervous and instead of talking to me because he was worried I would get mad at him, he just kept going along with everything, holding everything in, but when it got closer to us setting the wedding date, and planning for the actual wedding he panicked, he was feeling trapped. He still didn’t know how to tell me so he just ended us”.

“He said he regretted it right after he had done it, that he waited at home for me that night so we could talk it out, but I didn’t go home, I stayed at a motel. I didn’t answer he calls or texts, I couldn’t talk to him then, I was just so angry and hurt.  I waited until he was at school the next day, I went in and packed everything up and came home.”

“We have both hurt each other, and both made mistakes, but I know in my heart I that he is it for me, and has been since I was sixteen years old. I can’t see my life without him in it” Blaine said with everything he had, never meaning anything more.

Pam and Michael look at each other for a few minutes quiet and then looked at Blaine “If that is how you feel we will support you,” Pam said walking over and hugging him

“Thank you, that means a lot. He is really important to me” Blaine says softly feeling so much love for his parents, not realizing until that moment just how much their support meant to him.

“Then he is important to us,” Michael said pulling him into a hug as well

“Have you heard anything more from the Mitchell’s or their lawyer” Blaine asked his dad feeling nervous.

“No except a couple of calls from the lawyer, asking to see if I could talk you into signing over their house. I told him that you have made your decision on it, and that after the way they had acted during the reading of the will you would not be changing your mind. He did say that they were trying to get everything packed up” Michael said with a smile. He had never taken an instant dislike to someone like he did the Mitchell’s.

“Good deal, after checking out the apartment in New York, I need to go talk to Burt Hummel and then I will go over there to see if they are out yet. I also need to fly back to London and go through Shey’s apartment, get everything out of it and get it on the market. Dad, do you know if the solicitor you had to create our prenup would be able to help with selling it?” Blaine asked

“No son I don’t. Why don’t I reach out to Shey’s lawyer, I still have his contact information, I can ask him. He will probably know more about it anyway” Michael answered

“Ok that will work, I need to get it taken care of and then the apartment in Paris. I really have no idea what to do with it. Do I sell it sight unseen, or do I go there and check it out first” Blaine said running his hands through his hair.

“Why don’t you make that decision, based on the one in New York, see what kind of shape it is in and then go from there. What are you going to do with Sere while you are gone” Pam said looking down at the baby in her arms

“I figured I would take her with me, why” Blaine asks looking at her

“Well, with all the packing, and everything it might be hard to keep up with her, you are going to be really busy” She said with a smile on her face

“Mom, do you want to watch Sere while I am gone” Blaine asked laughing

“Well, I could do that if you would like me too” She said, giving Blaine an innocent grin, letting him know that was exactly what she was wanting

“That would be perfect if you didn’t mind, I will need to go home and get her some more clothes I only packed for a few days” Blaine said looking at her

“Wwweeellll, I might have assumed that that was what you would want to do, and I may or may not have gone shopping for her some clothes and diapers and toys, and also I might have turned your brothers old room into a nursery,” Pam said grinning at him

“What is Cooper going to do when he comes home” Blaine asked her laughing

“Oh, he can always stay in the den downstairs” she said, having it all figured out

“Mom you are a nut, and he is going to kill you” Blaine said shaking his head, but unable to keep the smile off of his face. She had made sure that Sere always had a place in her home, and that meant so much to Blaine, that she loved his little girl that much.

“Well baby girl, let’s go see what Nana has done shall we” Blaine said taking the baby from her “Thanks mom… for everything” kissing her on the cheek

He walked upstairs and opened the door of the room that had once been Cooper’s, it had been repainted a shell pink. The crib, rocking chair and changing table that had been set up originally in his room had been moved into what was now Sere’s room.

He noticed that a matching dresser had been added and it was full of little girl clothes in various sizes. Stuff that would fit her now, and stuff she would grow into, his mom had thought of everything, even had the room filled with various stuffed animals and toys. She really had been planning on watching the baby while he was gone. He just didn’t know if he would be able to be away from her that long.

He figured between New York, London and Paris he would probably need two weeks, and the way she was changing almost daily he didn’t know if he would want to be gone that long, miss that much. He set down in the chair with her and started rocking holding her close.

“Do you promise daddy, not to grow up too much while I am gone” Blaine asked placing a small kiss on top of her little head, leaving her for a few days was one thing, but a few weeks would kill him, but he needed to do what was going to be best for her as well. She would be on airplane after airplane, having to be sitting in her car seat while he tried to get everything taken care of.

He knows leaving her here with his mom was the best option, just not the one he was really happy with. Here she would be able to be comfortable, and he knew that if she was with him, he would want to spend time paying attention to her instead what he really needed to get done, and he didn’t really know what kind of situation he was going to find with either places except Shey’s. He knew he only had one true option, he just still didn’t like it.

Still holding Sere, Blaine pulls out his phone and calls Kurt, needing to talk to him, needing to reconnect.

oOoOo

Blaine missed Kurt that night, they had only spent that one night together, but it was something he knew he could get used to again, wanted to get used to again, just holding Kurt in his arms all night. He dressed with care, wanting to look his best, and if he was honest, wanting to look his best for Kurt. He dressed in a black button down shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans, and his favorite doc martens. He sprayed a little bit of cologne on and he was ready to go.

He had been wearing the same scent since his junior year in high school. Kurt had bought him that brand for his birthday that year, he remembered Kurt had said he loved the way it smelled on Blaine he had been wearing it ever since.

Blaine grabbed his suitcase, making sure he had repacked everything and then headed to the kitchen to say goodbye.

“Thanks for watching her for me, if I knew what was going on with the apartment I would take her with me.” Blaine said hugging her, before gently taking Sere from her

“You don’t have to thank me Blaine, I love having her here, plus I think you are right, you don’t know what kind of condition the apartment is in since the lawyer said that Bryce had bought it as an investment, and didn’t even know if he had ever been there. It might just be empty space that will need work. It is better to leave her here where you know she will be comfortable.” Pam said looking at Blaine. She was so proud of the man he had become, what a good dad he was.

“Thanks anyway mom, it means a lot to me to know I can leave and know she is going to be taken care of,” Blaine says leaning in and kissing his mom on the cheek.

“So my baby girl, are you going to be good for daddy” Blaine said holding Sere close, missing her already “Don’t do anything extraordinary without me being here to see it ok”

Blaine holds Sere for a few more minutes until he hears the honking of the cab he had called. “Love you” he says, kissing her little cheek and then passes her to Pam again. He picks up his suitcase, turns around looks at his mom and Sere one more time, he says goodbye before walking outside and getting into the cab.

When his plane touches down at LaGuardia, he slowly makes his way to the door. He had told Kurt when he talked to him last night that he would meet him at his loft in Bushwick instead of at the airport, not really sure what he would face there. The first news stand he passes sends chills down his spine, because there on the front page of almost every newspaper was a picture of him and Kurt kissing at the airport yesterday.

“Shit” Blaine says looking at the headlines “Has Blaine Anderson already found a new love” “Was he able to get over golden boy Bryce Mitchell so quickly” “Who is the new mystery man and was he already in the picture before Bryce’s sudden death” “Check out Blaine’s new cutie, who is this mystery man” “What has he done with poor Sere while he is seducing this new man” and on and on, picture after picture.

Blaine stands there looking at the different headlines, running his hands through his hair, he had never wanted to bring Kurt into this shit storm. He slips on his sunglasses and tries to get out of the airport unnoticed, but the minute he saw flashes going off, he knew that wasn’t happening. He finally makes it through the crowd, and to a cab, he quickly gives the driver Kurt’s address and then sits back wondering how Kurt was going to handle this.

He takes the freight elevator to Kurt’s floor, walks to the door and knocks, wondering what he was going to find inside. He had been in a really good mood, he was seeing Kurt again, he had figured a lot out yesterday, and he knew in his heart he was ready to proceed, yes he still wanted to take things slow, but he wanted them to move forward with their relationship, if that was what Kurt wanted too.

Now he wondered if Kurt was going to find it too much, was being with him going to be too hard. There was nothing like living in a fishbowl. He had hoped that after the funeral, he would soon fade out of the public eye, he guesses he had been wrong in that.

When Kurt opens the door, Blaine reaches out and pulls him into his arms, holding him close whispering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over in his ear

Kurt quickly pulls back to look at Blaine, wondering what he is talking about, what has he done to be sorry for

“I’m  sorry I got you into this Kurt, and I’ll understand if you want to back off” Blaine said hoping he doesn’t but would completely understand if he did

“Ok, Blaine I’m lost, what are you saying you are sorry for, what is going on” Kurt said feeling nervous. He had sounded fine when they talked on the phone last night

“You haven’t seen the paper yet this morning” Blaine says looking at him. When he still lived here Kurt had had the paper delivered every morning. He loved looking at the style and leisure section.

“No, why” Kurt says looking at him even more confused.

“Someone got a picture of me kissing you at the airport yesterday, and apparently that was deemed worthy of front page news” Blaine said walking over to what he had always thought of as his window.

Kurt walked over to his laptop and brought up his home page, and yup there was a picture that was clearly Blaine kissing someone. Kurt’s face hadn’t been visible in the picture taken, but anyone who knew Kurt or Blaine would know who it was.

Kurt looked at him with a soft smile on his face, walking up to him and placing a kiss on his lips, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck “Don’t worry about it Blaine, they’ll soon move on to the next big story, this isn’t anything to worry about, this isn’t your fault”

“I wish we had had time to tell Burt and Carol we were back together, I hate that they are going to find out this way” Blaine says pulling Kurt into his arms, laying his head on Kurt’s shoulder. Burt had always been like a second father, and he had once told Blaine that he thought of him as a second son.

Kurt just smiles at him sheepishly “Oh, I already told them, and dad expects us for Friday Dinner” Kurt said with a big grin on his face

“Have I told you yet, how very much I love you,” Blaine said pulling Kurt closer, so glad to have him back in his arms again.

“Humm, maybe” Kurt says kissing Blaine on his neck, on one of his most sensitive spots “But it never hurts to hear it again” Kurt managed to get out before Blaine’s lips were on his, kissing him until he can no longer breath and no longer cares. It had been so long, and he was so turned on .

Blaine slowly pulls back a little, having trouble controlling his breathing “Slow, we are taking this slow” Blaine said before pulling Kurt back into his arms and kissing him again, holding him closer, needing him so very bad, feeling just how much Kurt needed him. He leans his forehead against Kurt’s, trying to catch his breath, and trying to get himself back into control. When he can finally think again he steps slightly away

“Do you want to go with me to see what new fresh hell I am going to have to deal with today” Blaine said softly, running his hand up and down Kurt’s cheek, never taking his eyes off of him.

Kurt breathes deeply before exhaling slowly “Yeah lets go see what we can find”  

Blaine looks at him for a minute and then places a soft kiss on his mouth, reaching out to take his hand and guide him outside. They manage to get a cab almost immediately without having to call one first. Blaine gives the driver the address where they are going and sits back in the seat, holding Kurt’s hand, running his thumb over Kurt’s knuckles. Still wanting him so bad, if they hadn’t left when they did, Blaine knew he would have acted on those feelings, but he knew they weren’t there yet. They needed to talk.

The driver pulled up in front of a very nice 16 story building in an influential part of New York. It wasn’t what Blaine had expected at all. Blaine had his key to the apartment that Mr. Garrison had given him before he left the day of Bryce’s funeral. He had been given a set of keys for each apartment, and one for the house in California as well.

Because he had never been there he went to the reception desk, told him who he was and showed them his id, he was then pointed to the correct elevator. The apartment was on the 16th floor and what Blaine hadn’t known until he stepped in that elevator, was that it was the penthouse apartment. On the key chain with the apartment key was one for the elevator as well. When he inserted and turned the key, it started moving up.

When the elevator slowed and the door opened, he was standing in one of the most beautiful spaces he had ever seen. The main wall when you walked in the apartment was floor to ceiling glass. The walls were painted a light sand color with white chair railing. The hard wood floors where a beautiful honey gold color.

The furniture had been placed to highlight the beautiful view and over on the left side of the living room, was something that took Blaine’s breath away, a shiny black grand piano. It fit so perfectly in front of those windows. Blaine could just imagining setting there at night, playing while looking out those windows and seeing the lights of New York outside. He imagined walking out the door in the middle of the wall and sitting on the balcony looking down.

He walked down the hall noticing all the beautiful framed prints hanging on the walls. He opened the first door on the left and found a small room that had been set up as an office. A new computer still unopened in the box was sitting on the desk, furniture with tags still on them were placed nicely  around the room.

He opened the next door on the left and found a really good sized guest bathroom, a stack of fluffy towels and washrags sitting on the vanity. The next door he opened on the left had been set up as a guest room, once again the furniture all still had the tags on them, the mattress was still wrapped in the plastic that it had been sold in, the sheets and comforter set, still in their original packaging laying on the bed. Blaine was starting to get really confused.

The next door he came to was on the right side of the hall, and it was huge, it was the size of the other two bedrooms combined and it had an en suite bathroom, a massive walk in shower with a rain shower head, and multiple shower jets located on the walls. The tile placed in it was a beautiful light coral color, with the bathroom walls painted a slightly darker shade of the same color.

The outside wall of the bedroom was once again like the living room floor to ceiling glass with a door that opened onto a balcony. The windows were covered with sheer white curtains.

The bed was a mahogany colored sleigh bed with a fluffy white rug under it. Once again just like every other room in the house, the mattress was still wrapped in the plastic, all the furniture still had the tags hanging on them, the bedding still in its packaging sitting on the bed. He opened the closet in the bedroom and found a huge walk in that was as big as Sere’s room at home.

Just like in the living room the walls were a light sand color with the white chair railing. Above the bed was a print of a lighthouse, when Blaine looked at it closer, he found that it was a Thomas Kincaid. It was absolutely beautiful, and the colors in the print tied the colors of the bathroom and the bedroom together.

Walking back down the hall to the room off of the right side of the living room was a room that had been set up with a home theater center, there were four recliners on different height platforms on either side of the room. The way it was set up, if someone was sitting behind someone else they would still be able to see the screen.

On the longest wall a projection screen and a surround sound system had been set up. In the corner was an old fashioned popcorn and soda vending machine, old framed movie posters had been hung on the walls. Whoever had set this place up had thought of everything.

They walked out of the theater room into the last room of the house he hadn’t seen yet, the kitchen. On the countertops were boxes of kitchen supplies, pots, pans, baking sheets, dishes, and silverware. Nothing had been put away, which to Blaine, seemed strange until he found a bill on the bar between the living room, and the kitchen.

The name on the bill was from a decorating firm here in New York, the bill was dated the day before Bryce had been killed. There was a breakdown of everything he had seen in the apartment, everything had been placed and put in new.

Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number on the bill, the phone rang only two times

“This is Cindy with Decorating You, how may I help you” a sweet voice said on the other end of the line. Blaine looked at the bill in his hand and sees the note at the bottom saying “I hope you like everything we did” hand written at the bottom was signed by someone named Cindy.

“Hi Cindy, this is Blaine Anderson, are you the one who did Bryce Mitchell's apartment for him” Blaine asked.

“Yes sir I am” she said very quietly

“Did you get paid for your work yet” Blaine asked

“No sir, we had just completed the job the day before we got notification of his passing. Mr. Anderson, we are so very sorry for your loss” Blaine heard the sadness in her voice.

“Thank you for that. Can I ask why everything still has the tags, and why everything in the kitchen is still in boxes” Blaine questioned

“That is the way Mr. Mitchell said he wanted us to leave it. He said he had always wanted to live in a home with new stuff. Where he got to take all the tags off, where he pulled the plastic off of the mattresses. He wanted to be the first person to run the washer and dryer. He wanted to be the one to unpack the kitchen and put everything where he wanted it.” She continued

“Ok I understand” Blaine said meaning it more than he ever thought he would. He remembers when he moved into his first apartment in California, how excited he was because he got to set up everything the way he wanted it. No longer living in somebody else’s space the way they wanted things to be. Kurt’s apartment and the fight they had had crossing his mind.

“Thank you so much Cindy, one more question, when did he hire you to do this” Blaine asked just wanting to know.

“He hired us almost a month to the day before he died, he told us to take our time, he wouldn’t be needing it until next month anyway since he would be shooting his next movie in New York for a few months and figured instead of staying in a motel, since he already owned the apartment he would just stay there. It’s so sad, he never even saw the apartment the first time. His real estate broker bought it for him, he never even got to see how beautiful the setting was. I really enjoyed decorating that space” she says with a sigh.

“Thank you for everything you did for him Cindy, I know he would have loved it,” he said, meaning it. They had, had a lot in common, the way this apartment was set up, was exactly how Blaine would have done it, except the guest room would have been set up for Sere, and the office would have been set up as a guest room/ office space. “I’ll get you a check in the mail in the morning. Thank you for all your hard work” Blaine said before disconnecting the call.

Looking around it hits him, Bryce had never even set foot in this apartment, there were no bad memories associated with it, and he loved it. He had wanted to move anyway, and this would be closer to his mom and dad, and if he was honest to Kurt. Walking around he can seem himself living here.

Bryce had really planned on leaving Sere. In his journal, he had said he was going to divorce Blaine, and he could have her. Blaine had had his doubts that he would have gone through with it, he no longer doubted it at all. He had set nothing up for her, she didn’t even have a room here. That thought made him sad, that he could have so easily walked away from her.

“How long can I have you for, I know you said that you had two weeks, do you think that could be extended at all” Blaine questioned

“Well Isabelle did make a comment about getting you to do an interview” Kurt said looking at him

Before Blaine could say anything his phone started ringing, Blaine pulled out of his pocket saw it was his dad, and started smiling “Hey dad, what’s up”

“Blaine have you seen the newspapers yet this morning” Michael asked

“Yeah, it was one of the first things I saw when I landed in New York, why what’s up” Blaine asked now starting to feel nervous.

“I heard from the Mitchell’s lawyer this morning, they are going to fight for custody, they say because of your lifestyle you aren’t fit to raise their granddaughter” Michael said and Blaine could hear the anger in his voice.

“WHAT, you have got to be fucking kidding me right now” Blaine said so beyond mad

“I wish I was, they filed suit this morning, they want access to all the money that was left to Sere through Shey, they are asking for her adoption to be negated” His dad continued.

Blaine went and sat down on the couch, his head in his hands “How is that even possible” Blaine asked just above a whisper.

“Son, they were having you followed from the day you married Bryce. They said in the papers they filed that they thought you were cheating on him

“Dad, I swear to you that I never did, I never did that” Blaine said so in shock he can barely think

“Blaine I talked to one of the reporters that was following you, the one that actually got the picture of you kissing I am assuming Kurt. She was paid $10000.00 for that picture, they plan on using it as proof” Michael continued

“Dad, they will be able to trace it, they will have to see I haven’t been back to New York once since me and Kurt broke up”

“I know son, but yesterday when you were at the airport kissing Kurt, you were on your way here, not New York”

“Shit now what” Blaine asked feeling like he was going to break down. Thankful that Kurt had come and sat down beside him, pulling him into his side

“We file a countersuit, and we take them for everything they have”

“I don’t need the money dad, and even if I did they don’t have anything anyway”

“That is where you are wrong Blaine. I have been working with Bryce’s lawyer, he had some information for us” Michael said and Blaine could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Ok, dad is that even legal, attorney client privilege and all that” Blaine asked confused how Bryce’s lawyer could help them.

“Yes it is legal, right after the two of you got married he asked Mr. Garrison to look through his finances, old contracts signed on his behalf when he was too young to do so himself. I don’t know if he thought something was up, or just knew his parents. He also told Mr. Garrison that if he ever came across something that didn’t look right, that if Bryce wasn’t available, then to call me as your lawyer. Mr. Garrison got it in writing, and Bryce never rescinded it.”

“Ooookkk, so what did he find and how will it help us” Blaine asked starting to get a little interested.

“Well it would seem that a lot of the films and shows that Bryce was in when he was younger, had a contract signed that earned him royalties every time the movie or TV show aired. From what I understand at the time Bryce was in such high demand the studio’s signed it and didn’t think anymore about it.” 

They are still paying those royalty checks, not to Bryce, but to his parents. The minute he turned 18 they were supposed to be sent to him, but his parents never changed the banking information, and Bryce didn’t even know of the arrangement. The Mitchell’s” make in the thousands every time one of those old movies and shows are aired.” Michael continued

“Ok, what do we need to do” Blaine asked, now getting pissed again.

“I got some paperwork together this morning as soon as I heard from the Mitchell’s lawyer, I just wanted to talk to you before I filed it in the morning. I say we sue them for defamation of character, slander, and conspiracy to commit fraud. In that journal, in Bryce’s hand writing it says that he asked his dad before marrying you if it was legal, and he told him yes, Bryce and his parents conspired to defraud you. We have proof, they have nothing” Michael said and Blaine could hear the happiness in his dad's voice

“Dad, some of the stuff in that journal are very, VERY personal, you don’t think I will have to show the whole thing do you.” Blaine asked, hoping that some of the things written in there would never been seen by anyone else, embarrassed just thinking about it.

“No son, we just need to get a copy of the page were he says that at, and that is it. If we are lucky they will settle out of court, and we won’t even need that. But… even if they settle, we are still going to make them turn over any money they earned off of the royalties since you and Bryce signed your wills. That money should have gone to Bryce, and there in turn to you, or Sere anyway.” Michael said

“Dad, what would you think about me doing an interview to tell my side of things” Blaine had a sudden thought, two birds, one stone. Isabelle wanted an interview and Blaine wanted Kurt for longer than two weeks, Win, win and all of that.

“I don’t see that being a bad thing, who were you thinking of doing it with” Michael asked

“Vogue, and Isabelle Wright and her team, that way I can tell my side to people I know personally and people I can trust” Blaine answered looking at Kurt, leaning over placing a soft kiss on Kurt’s forehead

“Go for it son, tell them as much or as little as you want, after all we have the proof on our side and they have nothing. Also the results came back on the paternity test, they proved I was Shey’s dad. I swear son they won’t know what hit them” His dad said laughing before hanging up.

“So, Isabelle wants and interview with me, why don’t you set it up, and I have a favor I want to ask you.” Blaine said with a big smile, he was going to give Vogue the only exclusive interview he would ever give. He was going to tell everything. If the Mitchell’s were going to play, then he would play too, only he played with bigger guns.




A/N: The song mentioned in this chapter was Perfect by Pink.

Chapter Text

 

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on my work.

 

Blaine and Kurt walked through the front door of Vogue, somewhere Blaine hadn’t been in a long time, not since before him and Kurt had broken up. He had only been there a few times even then; Kurt wanted to keep his personal and professional life separate he always said. Blaine hadn’t really understood it at the time, but went along with it. After the breakup he had figured it was so he would have a space where he could just get away.

They took the elevator to the tenth floor and Blaine followed Kurt to Isabelle’s office. After knocking Kurt opened her door and they walked in. She hurriedly stands up, the look of shock on her face. She had joked with Kurt about getting Blaine to do an interview but hadn’t really expected he would do it, and now, from what Kurt had told her over the phone, he was not only going to be doing an interview, it would be an exclusive interview.

Vogue would be the only outlet that he would be speaking too. The potential revenue from that interview was mind blowing. She had asked Kurt to bring him in right away before he had a chance to change his mind.

“Blaine, it is good to see you again. I wanted to offer you and your daughter my condolences” She said walking up to him and shaking his hand.

“Thank you Isabelle that means a lot,” Blaine says with a small smile, not understanding why he was nervous all of a sudden. He had given red carpet interviews, and hadn’t felt a bit nervous, but for some reason with this one he did. He knew he would be the one controlling the commentary this time, but that didn’t change anything

“Ok, Kurt said you wanted to do an interview with us, before going in, can I ask what you are willing to talk about and what you aren’t. I don’t want to step on any toes” She said before motioning him and Kurt to sit down and then walking around behind her desk and sat down looking at them.

“I guess this is going to be a tell all. I assume you saw the papers this morning. Well I heard from my lawyer that there is going to be a lot more coming out and I wanted to get in front of it. I want to tell my side before everything gets spun out of control. I was advised by my lawyer what I should or shouldn’t talk about, but most of it is an open book.” Blaine answered her

“When do you want to do this interview” Isabelle asked starting to get excited.

“To be honest as soon as possible, I know Vogue doesn’t normally do this kind of thing since you are mainly a fashion magazine, but with Kurt working here I felt like this was a place I could tell my truth and not have to worry about my words being taken out of context, or words put into my mouth” Blaine said leaning forward looking at her.

“Ok, financial wise, how much are you wanting to get paid for doing this interview” she asked getting right into the business aspect of this meeting

“Absolutely nothing” Blaine said “Well actually let me rephrase that, I don’t want anything financially for doing it. I don’t know if Kurt has told you yet, but him and I have recently gotten back together, and yes that is something you can print” Blaine said laughing looking at Kurt

“In Bryce’s will, I was left an apartment here in New York, one in Paris and one in London. We have already checked out the one here, but I still have two more to go through. Kurt was really helpful when I was sorting through Bryce’s stuff in mine and his apartment in California. I was at a complete loss as to what to do with it all and he stepped in and helped organize everything. I could really use his help with the other two.”

“Kurt said he had two weeks of vacation time he has put in for, but I don’t know if that will be enough time to get everything done. I was hoping that you could give him another two weeks off to help me. I know he isn’t one of your normal interviewers, but he could come with me, check out the places that were owned by Bryce and write a piece on what we find, he could also do one about what we found here in New York.” Blaine stated

“Blaine….” Kurt said looking at him in shock

“Oh shit Kurt, I meant to ask you, would you mind coming with me to London and Paris to check out the other two apartments” Blaine said with a mischievous grin on his face “I did ask if you still had your passport remember…”

Blaine had already had his passport from when he and his parents had gone to London for the first time, back before he had met Kurt. He had convinced Kurt to get a passport right after they had gotten engaged.

When he and Kurt had first met, back when they were still just friends, Kurt had always talked about wanting to go to Paris one day. That is why he took French in school even though all his friends thought he was crazy for doing so. Blaine remembered that after they had become a couple they had spent hours cuddled up with each other talking about all the places they wanted to one day visit and Paris had always been at the top of Kurt’s list. So the minute Kurt had agreed to marry him, Blaine had put plans in motion to take Kurt there for their honeymoon.

He had convinced Kurt to get his passport, without giving him a reason why. He had wanted to surprise him. He had had it all planned out, he had checked out the different hotels in the area and knew the one he wanted to get for them. He had made a list of all the different places Kurt had talked about wanting to see, and had planned on them exploring each and every one of them.

When Kurt had started pulling away a little before their last break up, when Blaine always seemed to have time on his hands waiting for Kurt to come home.  That was how Blaine would spend his time, figuring out where they would go. He would spend hours looking at web page after web page, making a list, mapping everything out.

“Ok, so you will give us an exclusive interview, plus a tour of the apartments you were left correct” Isabelle asked

“Yes, and all I ask is that Kurt get an extra two weeks off to help with everything. I have no Idea what the Paris apartment is going to be like. I have seen the London one briefly. We had to go in and get some stuff for Sere right after Shey died. There was so much stuff in there and I have no clue what to do with any of it to be honest.” Blaine answered

“Would you be ok with us putting a written interview in the magazine and a recorded one for the Vogue website?” She asked and Blaine could almost see the wheels spinning in her head.

“Yes that will be fine. All I ask is that Kurt be allowed to look over the written interview before it is published. I trust you and your team Isabelle, but I trust Kurt more. I know he will keep my best interest at heart, not so much the interest of the magazine. Will that be acceptable with you” He asks looking her in the eye.

“We can do that, if you would like, we can get started now” Isabelle said standing up.

“Ok, so we will do an interview with you today, get it on the website tonight, and we can do a special publication run so we could potentially have the magazine out tomorrow as well, instead of the day after the way was scheduled. Would that work for you?” She asks, her head still spinning the financial aspect.

Blaine looked at Kurt and then nods his head “As long as like we said Kurt gets to look it over before it is published then yes that will be perfect” Blaine answered standing up and following Isabelle out of her office and into the makeup room. That was one part of the show he definitely didn’t miss. The feel of makeup caked on his skin, it was right up there with the hair gel he used to wear he thought shaking his head.

“Kurt I know you are off, but if we want to have any chance of this magazine being published tonight I am going to need you to stay late to read over Blaine’s interview, and then you can have a month off with pay. All I ask is that you take a lot of pictures of the apartments and how they look when you walk in, and I would like to get Blaine’s permission to send a camera crew into the one here in New York to take pictures of it.” Isabelle said looking at Kurt.

“I think he will be ok with that I can ask, you guys could be doing that while I am looking over the interview, getting it ready for the press release.” Kurt responded

“That will work, and Kurt I am really happy for the both of you. I know how much you have missed him and how devastated you were when you found out he was married, but I have a question, is he really over Bryce enough to think about being in another relationship this soon” she asked looking at Kurt, not for the interview but because she cared about Kurt and didn’t want to see him hurt again.

“That will be a good question for the interview and to be honest I believe you and the readers will be shocked and I am going to leave it there, that way Blaine can say what he needs to say” Kurt responded with a small smile.

Yes Blaine was ready for the interview, but Kurt also knew how he felt. Blaine had entered that marriage honestly expecting it to last. That is just how Blaine was. When he started something like that, he was in it for the long haul unless given a reason. Kurt could sadly attest to that. He knows that if he hadn’t pushed Blaine away he would never have gotten caught up with either Eli or Bryce. He had caused Blaine a lot of pain and would spend the rest of his life trying to make that up to him. He was just glad that Blaine was giving him a chance to try.

“Today Vogue is airing an exclusive interview with Blaine Anderson, the first one he has agreed to do since the death of his husband Bryce Mitchell. We are excited to have you here with us today Blaine” Isabelle said starting the interview

“It’s nice to be here” Blaine said with a  small smile still feeling really nervous, looking over at Kurt, seeing the look of love on his face, helped him to relax a little.

“So Blaine tell us a little about yourself, what does the world not know about Blaine Anderson” Isabelle said with a smile and laugh

“Well, I grew up in Westerville Ohio. I have a wonderful set of parents that have been there for me every step of my life. They have been supportive of everything I have ever attempted. I have a wonderful older brother Cooper Drew, who was the reason I started acting.”

“I went to high school at Dalton Academy where I was lead vocalist for our school glee club the Warblers. I met a lot of amazing people there, and made a lot of good friends. The school saved me in a way.” Blaine said looking at Isabelle

“In my sophomore year a boy came to our school to spy on us, I don’t know if it was our set list he wanted or what, but I have to admit he was the cutest boy I had ever seen in my life. He was amazing; I couldn’t stop looking at him. I remember the Warblers were having an impromptu performance that day, I was already running late, but I just couldn’t let this guy get away, I couldn’t let him just disappear so I grabbed his hand and made him come with me, I remember running down the hallway still holding his hand.”

“It’s funny, we were singing Teenage Dream and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, I think I spent most of that performance singing to him. It was special, and it took me a while to realize, but a very important relationship in my life started that day” Blaine said with a faraway look on his face.

“Because of issues at his school, he ended up transferring to Dalton not long after that, and he quickly became my very best friend. He was there during one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, I won’t go too far into it, but let’s just say it involved the gap and a curly haired blond and we will leave it at that.” Blaine said laughing, looking over at Kurt seeing him just shake his head.

“We ended up falling in love, or as my other friends would tell you I finally got my head out of my ass and realized what had been right in front of me the whole time. He ended up transferring back to his old school towards the end of that year and I transferred to be with him the next year” Blaine said looking at Isabelle, not really knowing how much backstory she wanted him to give.

“What happened to him” she asked looking at him, already knowing the story of both break ups but wanting Blaine to only give the story he wants to.

“We were in school together; it was my junior year in high school and his senior. We had our ups and downs that year, but mainly we were in love. We spent every moment we could together; because I knew the moment he graduated he would be moving here to New York. I knew I was going to be spending a year away from him so I had to spend as much time with him as I could.”

“We ended up pulling apart at the beginning of my senior year, we had issues that neither one of us handled very well, we broke up. It was a very sad time in my life. He was my first boyfriend and to be honest I always thought he would be my last. But there was hurt on both sides’ mistakes made by both of us.” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“We were apart for about six months and then we got back together. We actually were engaged for a while, but once again outside forces pulled us apart and we ended up breaking up again and ending our engagement. We were both living together here in New York, going to the same school. I don’t know if we were spending too much time together or not enough, but before I knew what was happening our engagement was off, we were over again.”

“That was one of the most painful moments of my life to be honest, hearing words spoken that I hadn’t expected. After that I dropped out of NYADA and moved back home. I started working with my old glee club as a coach. I did that for a few months and some things started happening and I decided I needed a fresh start. I needed to get out of Ohio. I worked out a two week notice and moved to California”

“I had been there for two weeks when my brother called to tell me that fox was starting a new show. He convinced me to audition for it, and man was I surprised when I got it. I met Bryce my first day on set of South of Always, we hit it off. He was funny and easy to be with and we became friends. As time went along we became more, we ended up starting to date, and then he became my boyfriend.”

“I started developing feelings for him, it wasn’t love, let me say that upfront, but I did care a lot about him. I had told him about my past relationship, and where my heart still belonged, he was fine with that because he was in pretty much the same situation. He had feelings for me, but he said he knew he would never love me because his heart also belonged to an ex. We were the perfect couple, we were good together”

“The night we aired the first episode of Always, Bryce had come home with me. About one in the morning, he got a phone call telling him that his ex girlfriend had been in a very bad accident, and that he was still listed as her emergency contact person. He was pretty much told that if he wanted to see her alive again, that he needed to get to London as fast as possible. We were too late, she died 30 minutes before we got there”

“Oh wow Blaine, that is so sad” Isabelle said looking at him

“It was; Bryce was devastated. She had been the one that he had loved; she was the one that still had his heart. I remember holding him as he cried sitting on the floor of that hospital, wondering how I would have handled it if things had been reversed, if that was the person I loved that had just died. I broke down with him” Blaine said once again looking at Kurt

“We sat there like that for about ten minutes, me just holding him while he cried, and then a nurse came in with this infant in her arms. That is how Bryce found out he had a daughter. When he and Shey broke up, she hadn’t told him she was pregnant.”

“She knew how Bryce felt about children, he was very upfront about the fact he didn’t want kids, he didn’t want to be a father, and then he was finding out after she died that he was one, he was listed on the birth certificate as such. He had no clue what to do with this baby, and to be honest after the first look at her I fell in love. What was so funny looking at her, she could have been my daughter as much as Bryce’s. She looked as much like me as she did him. It was like a combination of both of us”

Isabelle looked at him shocked “how is that even possible” she asked looking at him.

“That is a long story that I will get into in a minute” Blaine said with a grin.

“Ok, continue then” Isabelle said with a small laugh

“Like I said, I fell in love with that little girl, I decided in that instant I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to adopt her. Me and Bryce talked and decided to get married so we could be a family for Sere. Was it the smartest decision I have ever made in my life, no, but I didn’t realize until later just how bad of a decision that was."

“How long were you married before you realize something wasn’t right” Isabelle asked looking at him. Feeling so bad for him, she had always like Blaine; he always seemed to really love Kurt. Yes there was the whole cheating thing while he was in school, but she knew that that had hurt him as much as it had Kurt.

“To be honest, a little over a month, we had to hang around London for a few weeks before we could get Sere’s passport and bring her home. While we were there everything seemed fine. We enjoyed spending time together as a family. It wasn’t until we had been home for a while that things started falling apart.”

“Right after getting married, we decided that since we now had Sere if one of us had to be away on a shoot, that the other person would just work locally, that way one of us would always be with her. He started getting more and more work and started being gone more than he was home. He would come home for a night or two and then would be gone for a month.”

“We were spending no time together at all, and the time we were together was usually spent arguing with each other to be honest” Blaine answered looking at her. He couldn’t keep the sadness out of his voice remembering how his marriage had fallen apart.

“I remember the night of the awards show that he showed up without you, was that part of the problem.” She asked him

“Yes, we had one of our worst fights that night. He was coming in at the last minute from the set he was working on, I thought he was going to come home and we would show up together. I waited until the last minute and then decided to go alone. When I got there, he was already there, he hadn’t even bothered to call me and let me know he was back in town.” 

“I decided that if he could show up alone then I could be there alone as well. Usually I walked up to him in situations like that, this time I didn’t, I figured if he didn’t want to wait on me I didn’t want to wait on him. He got a little pissed at me.” Blaine said looking at her

“Ok, during your performance with your old glee club I heard you mention Nemo, and then when you won your first award you mentioned Nemo again, and not Bryce, what was that about” She said looking at him

Blaine looked at Kurt for a moment and felt as tears filled his eyes, needing him to say it was ok to tell “their story” a story only they knew. Kurt looked at him for a minute and then slowly nodded his head

Blaine turned his eyes back to Isabelle. “When I was with my first boyfriend, when I realized how very much in love with him I was, I called him my Nemo; he kind of laughed and asked me why I had called him that. We both loved Disney movies, but he couldn’t figure out why I would call him that”

“I remember looking into his beautiful eyes and saying you are my Nemo. I finally found you and I am never going to lose you, I am never going to let you go, I will never have to find you again. It became a thing with us, he was my Nemo, but I ended up losing him anyway. I guess in a way when I said that that night I was trying to find him again.”

“I knew my marriage was over, I wasn’t trying to reconnect with my ex to hook back up with him, but because, before we even started dating, he was my very best friend, and I wanted him back in my life. I needed him in it again, I needed my friend.”

Isabelle just looked at him not even knowing what to say. She knew who he was talking about, she had known he loved Kurt, but never realized until that moment just how much.

Blaine silently wiped a tear off of his cheek looking at Kurt, feeling the hurt all over again, and watching as tears slowly ran down Kurt’s cheeks. They had both hurt each other so much, but if Blaine could help it that would never happen again, Kurt was back in his life and he wasn’t going to let him go again.

“Do you need a break” Isabelle asked looking at Blaine, seeing him look over her shoulder where she knows Kurt was standing, wishing that neither one of them had had to feel the hurt they were now going through.

“No I’m ok, and, were are getting close to the end. Whew, ok now the not so nice part. After that show me and Bryce really started falling apart. The night he left our apartment for the last time, I begged him to stay, to work on us, to spend time with Sere, to see if we could work things out.”

“We had the biggest argument we had ever had, words were said, and he walked out of the door slamming it behind him. After he left I picked up Sere and went to see a divorce attorney. Our marriage was over; there was no way of fixing our problems if he wasn’t willing to try. I officially filed for divorce that day.”

“This next part is really hard to talk about. I always thought of myself as a smart person, I usually had pretty good judgment, but in this case I was so, so far off base it isn’t even funny. I have only discussed this with my family and my friend. So bear with me” Blaine says once again looking up at Kurt, needing his support. Knowing he needed to say the next part, didn’t make it any easier to do so.

“The day I found out that Bryce been killed on set of his last movie, I of course got on the next plane for Morocco. I was devastated, thinking about our last argument, the last words I ever said to him. He was once my friend and before the end I almost hated him. I had to identify the body and then was taken to the set so I could pick up any personal effects he had left in his trailer.”

“You wanna hear the funny part first, this morning I found out that Bryce’s parents had been having me followed since the day I married him. They thought I was cheating on him and were trying to get proof of it. I never cheated on him, not once. I took my marriage vow very seriously.”

“You see I had cheated on my first boyfriend, and that is why he broke up with me, I broke his trust, and his heart. Yes, I only ever kissed the other guy, but that was still cheating” Blaine said looking at Isabelle

“What……” Kurt yelled

“Cut…” Isabelle said stopping the recording

“Why didn’t you tell me, why did you let me believe you had sex with Eli, why didn’t you tell me it was just a kiss” Kurt said crying, tears running down his face

“Kurt, I tried to, but you wouldn’t listen to me, remember you ran away after I told you about me and Eli, and then you wouldn’t talk to me the next morning. I tried to tell you again, when you came back to McKinley to watch us do Grease. I begged you to listen to me and you just told me you didn’t want to talk about it. That Rachel was right, that that wasn’t your home anymore. When we got back together it was an unspoken agreement to leave the past in the past” Blaine said looking at him

“No Blaine No” Kurt cried out falling to his knees breaking down

Blaine was out of his seat in an instant and had Kurt in his arms, holding him, rubbing his back. “Shh Kurt sweetheart don’t cry, that is over and done with it’s in the past baby shh. We can’t change it, we can only look forward to our future” Blaine said kissing him on his head, not letting him go.

“But Blaine you don’t understand. The night I broke up with you, that had a lot to do with it. I was nervous about whether or not we would make it. I thought about what April said about teen marriages ending in divorce, and then I thought about you cheating on me. I panicked and I broke up with you. If I had only listened to you back then, none of this would have happened. I never would have broken up with you.”

“You cheating on me shocked me to the core, if there was one thing in my life I was sure of it was you, that you loved me, and that you would never hurt me. You were always my true constant, my rock, my everything, if you could cheat that easily then what.”

“I know I forgave you and agreed to the engagement. I honestly thought I had worked past it that I could do it but the closer the time came the more it hit me, the more scared I became.” Kurt says crying even harder, holding on to Blaine, like if he let go he would sink.

“Kurt sweetheart don’t cry, please. It doesn’t matter how I cheated, I still cheated. You had every right to feel the way you did. I destroyed your trust in me. I did the one thing I never thought I would do. I hurt the person I loved more than life itself, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to you. Kurt please, please don’t cry” he said pulling him even closer. Completely forgetting about Isabelle and the camera man in the background

Blaine gently pulled away from Kurt, bringing up his hands to frame his face, gently raising his head so that Kurt was looking at him “I love you Kurt, now and always,”  he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on Kurt’s lips, and then pulled him back to him again. They stayed like that for several minutes, just holding each other, helping each other heal.

“Ok, sweetheart, I’m going to finish this interview so that you can help get uploaded and then ready for printing.  When you are done come to me at my apartment and we will talk ok” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, kissing him one more time on the cheek and then walked back to his seat.

“Ok, so Bryce’s family was having me followed because the were sure I was cheating on Bryce. One of the reporters they had paid to follow me was the one who took the picture of me kissing my ex boyfriend at the airport. The one paper printed “where was poor Sere”, while I was chasing this other man. If they had been paying attention, they would have seen that she was in the stroller in front of me. I was taking her to my mom to watch for me so I could check out the apartments.”

“I didn’t know what situation they might be in, and wanted to leave her somewhere that I knew she would be safe and have everything that she needed. Anyway, I never did or would have cheated on him. I wasn’t happy with our relationship true, but I had seen firsthand what cheating could cause and it wasn’t worth it. I spoke with a lawyer like I said, I was going to divorce him, not cheat on him.”

“Now the funny part, like I said I was taken to Bryce’s trailer so I could pick up any personal items and take them home. Yes, I was planning on ending our relationship, but I still had his daughter at home. I wanted to pick up things for her so that she would be able to keep a connection with her papa. Unfortunately what I found was nothing I would ever let my daughter or anyone else see”

Blaine stopped for a minute, running his hand through his hair and then down his face. Without realizing it his voice got softer, looking past Isabelle but not seeing anything, so lost in his own thoughts.

“Blaine what did you find” Isabelle said looking at him concerned, he had gotten so quiet, when all through the interview he had been strong and secure with what he was saying. When Blaine looked at her, she could see the shock and devastation in his eyes, and dreaded what he was about to say.

“Umm, I found his journal. When we were both doing Always, he would always be writing in it. He always had it with him. After we got married, it was the same. I caught him several times writing in it. Sometimes he would smile, but other times he would almost look sullen. I didn’t know what was going on, and he wouldn’t talk to me about it. He kept it to himself.”

“When I found it, I though here is something that I could save for my daughter, something she could read later in life so that she could know her papa, not just by my words, she would have his as well. Now, I hope like hell she never finds out the kind of man he was or that he was even her father” Blaine said looking at Isabelle, and she already knew what he was about to say next wasn’t going to be good.

“At first it was nice, he talked about how we first met, his first feeling and it erased some of the anger I had built up towards him during our marriage, that is until I got further into the journal. Here is the hard part. What I didn’t know and what he failed to tell me was that he had been married before when he was sixteen. Apparently he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and their parents signed for them to get married. She ended up losing the baby and they eventually broke up. He never got a divorce” Blaine said looking at her

“What” she asked in shock looking at Blaine, not believing this

“Yeah, it would seem he just decided that if he ever wanted to get remarried that he would worry about a divorce then. According to his journal, before marrying me he asked his father if it would be legal to marry me since he was technically married to his high school sweetheart. His dad convinced him that since she was a girl and I was a man there would be no problem with us getting married. I guess he thought that gay marriage doesn’t work the same as straight, I don’t know”

“So, your marriage to Bryce was never legal then” Isabelle asks in shock

“Apparently not, after Bryce’s funeral, after the reading of the will in which Bryce left me everything including the house his parents currently live in, his lawyer told me that Bryce was very careful with the wording of his will. He didn’t mention he was leaving everything to his husband, he just said he was leaving everything to Blaine Anderson. He left his parents nothing but a one dollar bill and that was all.”

Blaine continued on telling her about the rest of the will, where everything that had been left to Bryce by Shey had been passed to him for Sere.

“The bad thing is that after the funeral, they pretty much told me that they were going to fight me for Sere, they were going to have the adoption negated and take her from me because my marriage to Bryce had never been legal anyway. They had already talked to a lawyer. When they found out that I was getting everything even their house they offered to let me “have” Sere, they wouldn’t fight me for her if I signed the house over to them”

“I lost my cool, and even though my intention as soon as I heard I was getting the house was to sign it over to them, I lost it and told them to be out by Saturday. I don’t want the stupid house, but after the things they called my daughter and the things they said, I’ll be damned if they are getting anything” Blaine said finishing

“So, they are fighting you for your daughter that you legally adopted. What is their grounds to do that” she asked getting mad at two people she didn’t even know.

“Their thing is that Bryce was her father by blood, I was just her adopted father. They are blood relatives and so she should go to them. The bad thing is that they don’t want her for her, they want her for the money she was left my her mother. Unlike me who put it in a trust for my daughter, they just want to have access to spend it. They want to treat my daughter the way they treated their son and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.” Blaine said getting pissed off again.

“Ok you have mentioned your daughter’s mother several times. Was she famous? Was she someone we would know” Isabelle questioned him

“Yes, her mother was Shey Alexander the actress” Blaine answered and because he had gotten permission from his parents beforehand he continued “And also it would seem my sister”.

“You are kidding” Isabelle said with a smile

“No I am serious” Blaine said with a little laugh. “That is why she looked so much like me. I saw a picture of Shey when we went to her London apartment after she died. Like I said earlier we needed to get some stuff for Sere, I took one look at that picture and realized she looked more like me than Cooper did” 

I called Cooper first to see if he knew of any family we might have in London by the name of Shey. He told me to call my dad, he refused to tell me anything. I called my dad and he told me everything. I am not going to go into it because that is my father’s personal business”

“My dad had a paternity test run and he got the results this morning proving that Shey was his daughter, so now the Mitchell's no longer have a leg to stand on. I legally adopted Sere, and my father is as much a blood relative as they are and therefore so am I”

“So what is your next move” Isabelle asked smiling, because she always loves it when the good wins.

“Well a lawsuit was filed on my behalf this morning in the California court systems by my lawyer; we will be suing June and John Mitchell for defamation of character, and conspiracy to commit fraud. They let me marry Bryce knowing that he wasn’t legally free to marry. I have written proof in Bryce’s own handwriting, they have nothing.”

“And if that wasn’t enough they offered to let me “buy” my daughter in front of not one but two different officers of the court. There are a few more things that I can’t legally talk about right now, but it doesn’t really look good for them” Blaine answered with as much information as he could. Not wanting to give any additional information to the Mitchell's until they were in court. That is when they will find out about the financial side of the lawsuit. They weren’t gonna know what hit them Blaine thought with a smile

“So where do you plan on going forward. Are you going back to California, back to acting” she asked

“No, I am done with all of that. It was fun when I was filming Always, I love the crew I was working with, my brother and Bryce at the time, but no, I won’t be going back to that life. I don’t like being followed everywhere I go by cameras. Worrying about what might be said in the papers about me that might be taken the wrong way by the people I love, having an intimate moment with my boyfriend deemed front page news worthy. I want a quiet life with him and my daughter” Blaine said looking at Kurt with a smile, because he had finally said his boyfriend, not his ex.

“That was the first time you said boyfriend Blaine” Isabelle said with a smile, “You have said ex all the way through this interview. Ssooo which is it, ex or boyfriend.”

“I am very lucky to be able to say my boyfriend. We reconnected right after Bryce died, I needed someone to talk to and he was the one who always understood me better than anyone else. There were some personal things in the journal that kind of hit me to the core. He was able to talk me through it; as usual, he was able to save me from myself. He has agreed to give us another chance” Blaine said smiling proudly

“Well I happen to know your “boyfriend” and I can tell you that I am happy for both of you. I have seen the two of you together, and you are perfect for each other. I wish you both long and happy lives” she said meaning every word.

“Thank you for that” Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face.

“Well there you have it, the first interview with Blaine Anderson, the full interview will be available tomorrow in our magazine. Go check it out. Once again, thank you Blaine for agreeing to do this interview” she said standing up and reaching out to shake his hand

“Thank you for having me and listening to all my ramblings” Blaine said before reaching out and hugging her.

“Cut” Isabelle said and Kurt walked over to Blaine and into his arms.

The cover that appeared on the newsstands the next morning with Blaine’s written permission had a picture of Bryce in one of his last movies, and the head line that went with simply said: Golden Boy Not So Golden.

 

Chapter Text

 

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews I have received on this story. It helps more than you know. Thanks especially to Catcat85, TheresaG, JayhawkWrites, Pandas.Mom and the guest who left a review that I couldn't respond to personally, since with guests I don't have an option, but thank you so much. Also thanks for all the Kudos that have been left on AO3.

 

After the interview was finished, Blaine walked outside with Kurt needing to hold him, and decompress a little. That had been more emotional than he thought it would be. He stood there just holding Kurt, needing his warmth for a few minutes, needing to feel him next to him, needing to know he was real.

“I am going over to the apartment and let Isabelle’s team come and take pictures of everything, when you are done here, will you come to me?” Blaine asked hopeful, but so not wanting to take anything for granted anymore.

“I will be there as soon as we get everything edited and sent to print. It looks like it might be an all nighter though” Kurt said laying his head on Blaine’s shoulder.

“I’ll wait up for you. I think I might start getting everything in the apartment set up. I am seriously thinking about keeping it. I was already planning on moving out of my old apartment. I just don’t want to be there anymore, you know, maybe start over somewhere else.” Blaine said with a half smile. Wondering how many more times in his life he will have to start over. 

“I want a more secure life for Sere, hopefully away from all the cameras.” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“I can’t say I will mind having you close again. I have missed you so much” Kurt said reaching up and pulling Blaine’s head down kissing him, showing him just how much.

“Let’s get this done so we can be alone” Blaine said kissing Kurt one more time, and then holding his hand they go back upstairs to Isabelle’s office.

After telling Isabelle and Kurt goodbye, Blaine gets in the car with the camera crew and head over to the apartment. When the elevator door opens into the living area Blaine hears an intake of breath from the cameraman beside him.

“Wow” he said softly

“Yeah it is pretty amazing, one of the first things I noticed was that view” Blaine said walking over to the windows, since it starting to get dark outside he could see all the lights of New York from that window. Blaine was in love, and in that moment he knew he was home, he will be keeping this apartment and selling the one he owned with Bryce in California.

Like Kurt said, it definitely wouldn’t be a bad thing living close to him again, and this would also be closer to his parents, and with Sere he knew that would be a good thing. He walked around with the camera crew, explaining how everything was, why the tags were still on everything, and why things had been left in boxes. They took about a hundred pictures, and then they were gone. Blaine went to work setting things up, removing all the tags.

The next thing he did was grab a cab and went to the closest store. He bought a few things he knew he would need right away like detergent for the laundry room and dishwasher, wanting to knock some of that out tonight while he was waiting on Kurt, he grabbed a couple of cold bottles of water at the checkout and was on his way back.

When he got back to the apartment he went into what would now be his bedroom, stopping for a minute to once again look at the view, before pulling the bed linens out of their packaging and then grabbing the towels and washcloths out of the bathroom, he carried everything into the laundry room and put them in the washer getting the first load started.

Walking into the kitchen next he looked at the different boxes of dishes and pans sitting on the countertops, then he looked through the cabinets, getting a rough idea of where everything would eventually go, feeling just the slightest bit sad that he was the one doing this instead of Bryce.

The funny thing was that even though they had been so completely separate, had pulled so far apart while Bryce was still alive, each and everything in that kitchen was something he would have picked out for himself. With all the arguing and fighting they had done, he had almost forgotten just how alike they had been, how much they had, had in common. With a soft smile on his face he thought of the good times. He finally allowed himself time to think about his friend.

Opening the boxes of dishes, he loaded the dishwasher with the first of who knows how many loads. Making a list of things he knew he would still need, and trying to decide if it would be best to have everything from the California apartment shipped here, or buy all new. He was almost leaning towards buying new stuff. That would probably be the easiest thing to do, he did need to look into having his car moved to New York though.

If it was just him, he would sell it and just use the public transportation that was everywhere, but he didn’t like the idea of having to wait on a cab if something major happened with Sere, and also most cabs didn’t have baby car seats, not that he would trust putting his daughter in one they might have anyway.

While the dishwasher was running he went into the office. He was wanting to turn it into a cross between an office and a spare room. He knew he needed to move the bed that was in Sere’s room out, and wondered if it would fit in here.

Going into Sere’s room he started pulling down the bed, and then carried the frame into the other room and could only smile, it fits perfectly. He moved the rest of the bed in and got it set up deciding to move the desk that the computer was on against the opposite wall, starting to make it look and feel more like home to him.

When he heard the washer finish he carried the bedding that went with the spare bed into the laundry room, moving the sheets and towels that were already in the washer into the dryer and starting the next load.

He went back into Sere’s room trying to picture in his head how he would set it up. He knew he needed a crib and a changing table, but also might look into getting a rocking chair as well. He didn’t have one in her room at home, but after using the one at his mom’s he liked it. He liked sitting in her little room holding her close and rocking her, loving that baby smell.

That thought had him missing her even more. He pulled out his phone and called his mom to check on her for about the hundredth time that day. He could hear the smile in his mom’s voice when she answered, and Blaine heard the unmistakable sound of his daughters giggles that made him smile as always

“She is doing fine Blaine, I promise,” she said before he had a chance to ask anything.

“I know, I just wanted to call and check” Blaine said, wishing he was already there, once again wondering how he was going to stand being away from her when he had to go back to London and then on to Paris.

“I just gave her a bath and your dad is getting her dressed and then we are going to put her to bed” Pam answered, understanding why he kept calling. With everything going on, with so much uncertainty, he just needed to touch base.

“Ok, call me if anything happens, give her a kiss for me and tell her daddy loves her and misses her ok” Blaine said, wishing again he could be there to do it himself.

“I will. Goodnight son, we will see you tomorrow, and she misses you too” she said before hanging up the phone.

While he had been talking, he had been looking around the room and decided he wanted to repaint in here. He liked the soft sand shade that matched the rest of the apartment but wanted something different for here, he also decided he wanted a different shade than the one in Sere’s current bedroom. He knew he wanted and needed a change for himself and even though he knows right now she won’t know the difference he wanted a change for his daughter as well.

When he went back to London he was hoping to find a picture of Shey and Sere so he could have it framed and put in here. He wanted her to know who her mom was. He remembers how Kurt said his dad had placed a picture of his mom in his room right after she had died. He said it always made it feel like she was close, watching over him. Even though Sere will never know her mom, he wanted her to have that as well.

When he had done everything he could for now he walked into the living room and sat down at the piano. He didn’t really understand why Bryce had, had the decorator get it, because Blaine knew he didn’t play, but was so glad he had.  

Looking out the window at the New York skyline Blaine started running his hands over the keys, loving the feel of them under his fingers. He had missed having a piano in his home; it will be nice to have one again. He had always loved playing music; it had always helped calm him when nothing else could. Yes he had his keyboard, but it just wasn’t the same as a piano.

As he started playing around with the keys, looking out the window, a melody started running through his brain and out to the piano keys and before he even realized it a lyrics shortly followed. He quickly jumped up and ran over to the messenger bag he still carried with him. He pulled out a pencil and spiral notebook he kept in there for this very reason and he started writing the song down that was running through his head.

In that moment he figured out what he wanted to do with the next stage of his life. He wanted to try his hand at writing music. That was something he could do behind the scenes, he wouldn’t have to be in the spotlight. He could still live a normal life.

The notebook in front of him had dozens of songs he had already written and completed, and one that was still only half done. It had been in that same stage for almost a full year and Blaine knew that, that one song would stay that way. He had always loved writing down melodies when he was younger, he would be in the middle of something and something would pop into his head and he would have to stop what he was doing to write his idea down. He lost track of how many songs he had written about Kurt.

He should have known something was off between him and Bryce. The whole time they were together either dating or after they were married he never once got the inspiration to write about him.

The last song he had written in this book, was the one he had done right before his and Kurt’s last break up. He had been planning on playing that song at their wedding as a surprise for Kurt. That song was the only one in his notebook that had never been completed, and even though they were now back together he knew it still never would be. That song had been ruined for him.

After that the only song he written was the one he had written for Sere. He had been waiting and waiting for her adoption paperwork to go through. He had written a song for her when it finally did, she had become his inspiration, and in all actuality she had become his lifesaver. When everything around him was falling apart, she was there,  she became his sanity, his reason to get up every morning. He hadn’t had that in a very long time.

When he heard the buzzer go off on the dryer, he pulled the bedding and towels out and carried it to his room.  He folded the towels and washcloths and then carried them into his bathroom, putting the back on the counter until he could decide where he wanted to finally put everything permanently. He then walked back into his room, pulled the plastic off of the mattress, and pillows. He put the sheets and pillow cases on the bed and then spread the comforter in place. It was now ready for when Kurt got here. Blaine could only imagine how very tired he was going to be.

Walking back into the laundry room, he started the dryer again and then sat back down at the piano, he continued to tweak the song he had written, changing the lyrics here, the melody there, until it was a piece he was happy with. Replaying the song again it hits him who he had written it about. Once again a song for Kurt he thought with a smile. His inspiration was back.

The whole time he had been playing he had been thinking about Kurt, their ups and downs, and the trials of their relationship.  How far they had come and how much further they still needed to go. He knew they would probably never get back to where they were, but maybe that was a good thing, they could build on what they were now. He was just happy to have Kurt back.

The song he had just written was them, about them, he simply called it “Until You”. He had just finished playing it again when he heard the buzzer by the door. Standing up he walked over to it.

“Yes” Blaine answered pushing the intercom button

“Mr. Anderson, there is a Kurt Hummel here, he says you are expecting him” The guard downstairs advised him

“I am on my way down” Blaine answered heading for the door and into the elevator. He needs to get a duplicate key for Kurt made he decides as he rides the elevator downstairs. One of the things he liked about the apartment set up was that you could leave the front door open so when the elevator opened, you were looking straight into the apartment, or you could close and lock it, not that that seemed necessary since someone had to have an elevator key to even get to the apartment.

When he got to the lobby Kurt walked up to him, Blaine pulled him into a hug and then holding his hand he guided him to the elevator, it was 4:30am and Kurt looked like he was about to pass out. Not saying a word, still holding his hand Blaine walked with him to his bedroom.

“Come on sweetheart let’s go to bed” Blaine said softly before helping Kurt strip down to his boxer briefs, pulling the blankets back for him, he watched as Kurt crawled in, snuggled up with a pillow and was out like a light. Blaine could do nothing but smile, loving just being able to watch Kurt sleep again.

Blaine turned off the bedroom light, quickly stripped to his boxers and crawled in behind Kurt, trying not to wake him, as he pulled him close, placing a kiss on the back of his head and before long, he is falling asleep, the happiest he had been in a long time.

Blaine wakes up slowly the next morning, but instantly realizes what had woken him up. While he was sleeping Kurt had started rubbing his ass back against Blaine. When they had first started living together, when Kurt had done that, Blaine would quickly flip him over onto his back, wake him up with kisses and then they would make love. It had become Blaine’s favorite way of being woken up. But not this time, this time it was pure torture because he couldn’t do that anymore. He gently pulled himself away from Kurt, rolled over and crawled out of bed.

He stood there looking down at Kurt, wanting him so desperately, but instead of crawling back in bed with him, and doing something he had wanted to since they got back together, he grabbed his toiletry bag out of his suitcase and walked towards the bathroom. He grabs a towel and washcloth off of the counter and walks up to the shower.

Blaine strips off his boxers and steps in, setting the water temperature to the coldest temperature he could stand, he squirts some of his shower gel into his hand, and then reaches down and grasps his cock. He slowly started moving his hand up and down closing his eyes, and wishing it was Kurt’s hands on him instead of his own. He missed the touch of another person, Bryce had been the last person to touch him and that had been so very long ago.

Bryce had stopped any kind of intimacy with Blaine after the first 2 months of their marriage, the only release he had gotten other than by himself was when he had showed up unexpected at Bryce’s motel when he had been away on a shoot. Blaine had needed him so bad, he had pushed him up against a wall, and when he couldn’t get the friction he needed that way he had taken him to the bed, crawled on top of him and for fifteen minutes Blaine was in heaven.

When he got his release before Bryce did he felt bad, he had always wanted to take care of his partner, he wanted them to come first before he found his own release, so he had given Bryce a blowjob taking extra care in pleasuring him. Blaine had felt satisfied, so relaxed and happy he was with his husband even if it was for only a few stolen hours.

Their last intimate moment had been ruined for Blaine the minute he read about it in Bryce’s journal. He had talked about how Blaine had rubbed into him, how he seemed to really enjoy himself, and how Bryce had just laid there and waited for it to be over. Something inside Blaine had died a little that day. He started doubting everything he had ever done in the bedroom. He doubted if he had ever really satisfied Kurt, had he just laid there and gone through the motions as well, just waiting for him to finish, just waiting for it to be over.

He decided in that moment that he would just take care of his own needs from now on, he wouldn’t force his attentions on anyone. If they needed him, he would take care of them and then he would take care of his needs on his own. He couldn’t survive it if he thought he was disappointing Kurt.

He knows what Kurt said right after Bryce died, when he showed him what he had written in the journal. Kurt had told Blaine not to believe it, that he had always satisfied him, that he had wanted to make love with him as well, but no matter what he said, Kurt had pulled away from him too, he had stopped making love to him as well.

Kurt would wake up first thing in the morning and be out of bed before Blaine woke up, and would come back to bed only after Blaine had gone to sleep. That should have told him something but had just kept living in his own little dream bubble.

Standing in the shower something else hits him, Kurt texting with Chandler.  Had he done that because Blaine was so lousy in bed that he was trying to find someone else who was better, someone who would actually satisfy him. Blaine had learned everything he knew from his intimate times with Kurt. He had always loved everything they had done together, what if Kurt never had, what if like Bryce he had only ever “just laid there and waited for it to be over”. That thought hurt.

The words in Bryce’s journal had ruined every wonderful memory he had of making love with Kurt.  Standing in the shower, all these thoughts running through his mind, he just went soft, he slowly allows himself to slide down the shower wall, sit down and cry. He wanted to just go in there hold Kurt in his arms, and make love to him. He had wanted to do that since the moment he had seen him again, but knew he couldn’t put himself through that doubt again. Wondering if he was pleasuring him, or was he as Bryce said going through the motions.

Blaine slowly stood up, finished showering and then turned the water off. grabbing his towel he dried himself off and then wrapped the towel around his waist he walked back into his room. Kurt was still cuddled up asleep. Blaine just stood there watching him sleep. Shaking his head, he walked over to his suitcase and pulled out the first thing he put his hands on, not really caring and quickly dresses. He needs to get out of here for a minute he needed to get away, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He took the elevator downstairs to the lobby and then walked out the front door. The smells of the city hit him the minute he stepped outside and he was transported back to a year ago, when everything seemed so wonderful, up to the second his world had fallen apart. He just walked without even thinking about where he was going, just needing to walk off this feeling.

Before he even realized where he was heading, he had walked to their favorite restaurant, or at least the place he had always thought was their favorite restaurant. Thinking back to that night when Kurt had asked him why they always had to eat there, once again making Blaine rethink every aspect of his and Kurt’s past relationship.

He stands there looking at the table they had always used to sit at, and the memories of that night come flooding back, he could see it happening like it was a movie reel rerunning in his mind. He slowly turns around and starts heading back to the apartment, stopping  at the coffee shop they used to go to, he grabbed Kurt a non fat mocha and himself a medium drip, and then just for the hell of it he grabbed them both a cronut, remembering the addiction he had once had for them.

Walking back to the apartment he started thinking about Sere, missing her so much, knowing besides his parents, she was the one person that he knew was always happy to see him. He missed her being with him. He was in his own world until he passes a newsstand and sees the newest Vogue magazine, and there on the cover was a picture of Bryce, with the caption “Golden Boy Not So Golden”. Blaine picked up a copy, paid for it and headed back to the apartment.

Carrying the coffee and cronut bag into the living room, he sits them down on the coffee table; sitting down on the couch he opens the magazine to the first page. He just sits there staring at it; there with the story was a picture of him and Bryce. It was a picture of them from the set of Always, Blaine standing with his arm around Bryce, both of them looking at each other, looking so happy. He remembers when that picture had been taken. It was the day after Bryce had agreed to be his boyfriend, Blaine had been on top of the world.

 He hadn’t thought about them including a picture of him with the story, since it had been mainly about Bryce. He didn’t realize that they would be doing that. He slowly read the story, and noticed how well it had been written and edited. Nothing had been put in that he hadn’t said himself, no words had been added.

What made him smile was on the last page of the story, Kurt had been given partial credit for the interview. The next few pages where from the apartment tour, how he had found it, and why it had been left the way it was. The story talked about how Bryce had finally wanted a place that he got to set up his way, the way he wanted it to be.

He wanted to decide where the dishes would go, where he wanted everything to be. He wanted to be the one to pull the sales tags off of everything, to be the one to remove the plastic off of the mattresses, and pull the bedding out of their bags. It was sad in a way that he had never gotten that chance. In that moment he felt a connection to Bryce that he had never had before. Remembering  when he had wanted the same thing, remembering what had caused his and Kurt’s first real fight.

When he moved to California, he had looked forward to buying his first apartment. Looked forward to setting it up the way he wanted it to be, putting everything where he wanted it to go. When he and Bryce had finally found their first apartment together, Bryce was already in the middle of shooting a new movie. Blaine had been the one to pack up the apartment where they had temporarily been living. He had been the one to find the one he was currently living in. They had combined their stuff, keeping some things from Blaine’s apartment and some others from Bryce’s.

When he and Bryce had first started dating, Blaine had made a comment that he liked the way Bryce’s apartment looked. It hadn’t really look the way Blaine would have pictured Bryce’s apartment looking, but it was nice. He had looked at Blaine and smiled saying that his manager had found the apartment for him while he was shooting a movie in Arizona. He had come back to a fully furnished and decorated apartment.

Blaine had been the one to set up their apartment while Bryce was gone. It was sad, but Bryce had always wanted to be the one to set up his own space, he had moved from his parent’s house to that apartment, he was never once able to do the one thing he wanted to do so much. Blaine leaned back into the couch, put his head back and brought his hand up to his face and broke down for the first time since Bryce’s death.

No Blaine hadn’t loved him, and knew no matter how long that they might have been able to be together if he hadn’t died, he never would have been able to love him, his heart had then and always would belong to Kurt. But Bryce had become Blaine’s friend, he had cared about him. Bryce had helped him through some bad times when they had first gotten together, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss his friend.

“Why didn’t you wake me up” Kurt asked walking over and sitting down beside Blaine, kissing him on his cheek.

“I knew you had a long day yesterday” Blaine said softly trying to get his emotions under control

“Blaine are you ok” Kurt asked looking at Blaine feeling concerned, and then he saw the magazine beside him

“You didn’t like it, you didn’t like how we edited your interview” Kurt said looking at Blaine. He had worked really hard on the story, trying to make sure it only said what Blaine had wanted it to say, nothing more nothing less.

Blaine reached out and pulled Kurt over to him so he was sitting on his lap. “No Kurt, it is perfect, it is actually an amazing write up. Thank you for watching out for me. That is why I wanted you to be involved. I knew you would watch out for my best interest.”

“Ok, if you aren’t upset about the story, then why are you crying Blaine I don’t understand” Kurt asked looking at him.

“I guess it finally just hit me that he is really gone” Blaine said quietly looking at Kurt.

“Oh,” Kurt said, standing up and off of Blaine’s lap looking shocked and hurt.

“No sweetheart, you misunderstood. I wasn’t crying because I loved him, because I didn’t. I had told him upfront that my heart will always belong to you, so no I didn’t love him, but he was my friend. He helped me when we first met. The weekend of what would have been our fourth anniversary Kurt, the first one we actually spent apart, it hit me and it hit me hard. Bryce helped me through that, that next week. He helped me make it, because I honestly didn’t know if I would.” Blaine said walking up to Kurt pulling him back into his arms, holding him so close.

“I guess looking at the pictures of this apartment kind of hit me” Blaine said honestly

“I don’t understand” Kurt said looking at him

“Do you remember when we had our first fight” Blaine asked looking at him

Kurt’s face goes blank trying to remember. They had never really argued or fought. Even when Blaine had told him he had cheated, they had both cried and had just gone their separate ways. They didn’t argue. He thought back to high school and the whole Chandler thing, they hadn’t even fought then, Blaine had just been hurt. He sang his song in glee and then had just walked out. Kurt had gone to him later and apologized, realizing how bad it had actually looked, and realizing just how badly he had hurt Blaine.

And then it hit him, he remembered their only true fight. Blaine had been living with him for only a few weeks, when he came home and Blaine had set up a study area, and for whatever reason it had flown all over him. That he was coming into his space, trying to make changes without first asking him if it was ok. Blaine had looked hurt at first, and then the more Kurt had gone on about it the madder Blaine had gotten. They had had their first fight that had ended in Blaine walking out the door.

Now, thinking about how this apartment had been left, and how the designer said that Bryce had felt, it slapped Kurt in his face. Blaine had just wanted to create his own space, a place that was just him, to put his own touch on the apartment. Kurt had been telling him since he moved in that it was “their” apartment, but thinking back he had never treated it as such, it was his set up, his way.

Him and Rachel had been living like that for a year, and it had bothered him when Blaine had just decided to step in and change things, in other words make a place that was his. He had been pulling away from Blaine even then and hadn’t realized it. Picking fights for stupid reasons, realizing all the things he had done that had ultimately hurt Blaine.

“I am so, so sorry Blaine. I never stopped to think about how you might have felt. I had basically gotten used to things being my way for once in my life. I had always lived under dad’s roof, and that was my chance to have things my way. I never even thought about the fact that you might have felt the same, that I was expecting you to live in “my” space that was supposed to be “ours” Kurt said looking at him, tears running down his face

“I never really thought about how that must have made you feel and I am so sorry. I can’t believe our first and truly only fight was over something so totally stupid as you wanting to have just one small space in the apartment that was yours. Blaine can you forgive me” Kurt asked looking at Blaine

“Sweetheart you have nothing to apologize for. That is over and done, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I wasn’t, I just wanted you to understand why I was feeling how I was feeling.” Blaine said pulling Kurt into his arms and kissing him with all the feelings he had for him, needing him so bad.

When Kurt started deepening the kiss and pulling Blaine close to him, Blaine knew what he was wanting and he couldn’t do it. He loved Kurt, and wanted him with everything he had, but just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go into that bedroom and force Kurt to do something he didn’t really want to do, just to cheer him up.

Blaine gently pulled away from Kurt, placing one more kiss on his lips “It’s probably cold, but I got us a coffee and cronut when I went out. Come on let’s eat, and then if you want we go see Burt. I need to talk to him, and if it is ok, I would like to go by mom and dad’s and see Sere for a few minutes. I really miss her” Blaine said barely controlling his voice, not wanting Kurt to see he was upset.

Kurt was confused, once again he had tried to get close to Blaine, to reconnect with him intimately the way they still hadn’t done since getting back together. When he woke up this morning, he had been so hard and needed Blaine so badly, he had rolled over, reaching across the mattress for him, only to find an empty bed and cold sheets.

Not saying anything though Kurt walked over and sat by Blaine as they drank their coffee and ate the cronut he had gotten for them, having a flashback of the addiction Blaine had had for them when he was still at NYADA. “I would love to go see dad and Carol again, how do you think your mom and dad will react to me showing up with you” Kurt asked looking at him while taking a sip of his coffee.

“They will be fine with it. I told them everything finally Kurt, how you had every right to break up with me, what I had done. They know we are back together.” Blaine said looking at him, wondering if he didn’t want to go

“If you are sure, I would like to see them again. I will need to go to my apartment before we go though so I can take a shower and change clothes” Kurt answered.

They finished their coffee and then headed to Kurt’s apartment, while he was showering Blaine looked around. Walking over to the shelving unit between Kurt’s curtained off bedroom and the living room, he looked at all the pictures that now lined it. When he had lived there it had just been filled with Nic knacks. No pictures had been on there.

While he is looking over the shelf, he sees Kurt’s bed, well what used to be his side of Kurt’s bed, and there on the nightstand, where he had left it was the black and white picture of Kurt he had left behind when he had packed up his stuff and walked out of the apartment for the last time, leaving his key on the kitchen table.

Walking slowly over to it, he lovingly picked up the frame. That picture had been on his nightstand from the time Kurt had given it to him, until the day after Kurt had broken up with him. That picture had meant so much to him.

“I left it there, I guess because I kept waiting for you to come back and want it again, and also to remind myself just how stupid I had been, and how much I hurt the person I loved most in the world” Kurt said walking behind Blaine with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He put his arms around Blaine’s waist and laid his chin on his shoulder.

Blaine slowly placed the picture frame down where it had been, before turning  in Kurt’s arms and pulling him close. He slowly starts kissing him, needing that connection, even though he knows he won’t let it go any further than a kiss.

Blaine steps out of Kurt’s arms looking at him “I booked us a flight while you were in the shower, we have a flight in about an hour, so whenever you're ready we can head out” Blaine said before placing another soft kiss on Kurt’s lips and then walked back into the living room, giving Kurt privacy to dress.

“Shit” he heard Kurt whisper. Blaine hears Kurt continue to mumble as he pulls first one drawer out and then slam it back in place before opening another.

Blaine just shakes his head, walking over to the couch, sitting down and holding his head in his hands. How long is he going to be able to keep this up. He needed Kurt so badly, every time he kissed him, or held him it was like Kurt was setting him on fire. He couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from him, but it hurt to be so close at the same time.

He sat like that for a few minutes, when he heard Kurt starting to walk towards the living room, he sat up. Not wanting Kurt to know about the personal battle he had waging inside himself, needing him so desperately, but so afraid of pushing him away.

Kurt walked over to him, stood there looking at him for a few minutes, before softly pushing Blaine back, and then straddled his lap, sitting down. He needed him, and for whatever reason Blaine just kept pulling away from him. Leaning down, Kurt started kissing him, deepening the kiss, sliding in his tongue into Blaine’s mouth and then he slowly started thrusting his hips forward and back, rocking into him feeling just how hard Blaine was for him.

Before Blaine even realized what he was doing he had pushed Kurt off of his lap, and had him lying on his back on the couch, he was on top of him with Kurt’s legs wrapped around his waist grinding down, rocking his hips fast, kissing Kurt deeper that he had been allowing himself to do. Kurt moaned his name and that is when it hits him what he was doing, and abruptly stops.

He instead starts kissing down Kurt’s neck. He had felt how much Kurt needed him, and refused to leave him like that. He slowly started unbuttoning Kurt’s shirt, his lips following his hands, kissing the skin that his hands exposed. He gently pulled Kurt’s shirt out of his waistband. Kurt leaned up enough so that Blaine could slide his shirt off of his shoulders.

Placing the shirt on the coffee table Blaine leaned over and started running his tongue around Kurt’s left nipple while he used his right thumb to rub circles around his right, causing him to arch up off the couch. Blaine continued kissing down his chest, letting his tongue circle around Kurt’s navel, softly sucking a mark on Kurt’s stomach and then continues kissing down his abdomen following that little thin strip of hair that ran from under his belly button down past his waistband that had always driven Blaine crazy, knowing exactly where that little strip ended.

Blaine reached out, never taking his eyes off of Kurt. He slowing started unbuckling Kurt’s belt, taking his time, smiling softly as he watches Kurt thrust his hips up. Once the belt is undone he, takes his time first unbuttoning and then unzipping Kurt’s jeans, slowly easing them and his boxer briefs down his legs and then letting them drop on the table with Kurt’s shirt.

He leans back down over Kurt and continues to kiss down that strip of hair, until he gets to the part of Kurt that needs his attention the most. Blaine sits on his heels between Kurt’s legs looking down at that beautiful man, feeling himself getting harder, wanting to sink into Kurt so bad. Blaine brings up his hand and strokes Kurt for a few minutes, before slowly standing up, and kneeling beside the couch.

Blaine, slowly leans down and runs just the tip of his tongue up Kurt’s hard cock, using his left hand to pull it away from his stomach, Blaine circled the head with his tongue before kissing the tip, taking him in his mouth and then he is going down, taking all of him in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks, sucking gently as he did so, slowly he moved his head up and then back down again doing the one thing for Kurt he knew he was good at.

He moved slow and steady at first until he felt Kurt start moving under him and whispering his name over and over. He then speeds up, sucking a little harder reaching his hand out he gently starts messaging Kurt’s balls with one hand, while gently pushing the index finger of his other hand into Kurt’s tight whole. Blaine’s own erection, screaming for attention, but he ignores it.

Blaine continues moving his head up and down feeling as Kurt grew harder, he started moving faster until Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine’s hair warning him that he is about to come. Not pulling off, Blaine just keeps moving his head, giving Kurt all he could give him, he soon tasted as Kurt came down his throat and he swallowed every drop.

Blaine places a kiss on the head of Kurt’s cock before leaning over him, placing a kiss on his sweet lips. He can only smile when he sees how blown Kurt’s eyes were; knowing at least in this he could satisfy Kurt if in no other way.

“Blaine, I had forgotten just how good you were at that” Kurt sighs, his head back looking at Blaine, looking so satisfied.

“That’s good to hear”  Blaine said with a small smile “Come on sweetheart, let’s get you redressed and then it is time for us to head out” Blaine whispered standing up, reaching down to help Kurt sit up. Smiling when he hears Kurt complain about jelly legs.

“Don’t we have time for me to return the favor” Kurt asks walking over to Blaine after rearranging his clothes, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck and kissing him. So relaxed now, he had needed that so much more than he thought. It had been almost a year since the last time he had been with Blaine, and he was still the only person Kurt had ever been with.

“No, but you can take care of me next time” Blaine said with a smile, knowing that that wasn’t going to happen. When he got to the airport, if he needed to he would excuse himself to the bathroom and take care of himself there. At least he knew Kurt was satisfied.

He leaned in and kissed him one more time, before reaching out for his hand and walking with him to the subway station. When they walked out of the exit they were able to catch a cab to take them to the airport. Blaine spent the 20 minutes they had to wait for their flight snuggled up with Kurt, just holding him.

When they land in Ohio, Blaine grabs them another taxi, gives the driver his parents address in Westerville and sits back, holding Kurt’s hand. Even though being gay was more accepted now, Blaine was still hesitant to do more, not wanting to push the issue, or get something started. They had both had issues here, best just to be careful

When the driver pulled up outside his parents house Blaine grabs Kurt’s hand and walks with him towards the front door. Before they even get there the door is opened by his mom holding Sere. When she saw her daddy she started trying to get to him. With a big smile on his face Blaine reaches out and takes her from his mom, holding her close placing little kisses on her face.

“How is my baby doing today” Blaine asked her pulling back so he could look at her with a smile on his face. She just started babbling. What she was saying he had no idea, but he could tell by the concentration on her face she meant every word of it. The only thing he understood was “dada” which had him brimming with pride.

“Is all that true little girl, you have done all that already. I thought you promised not to do anything extraordinary while I was gone” Blaine said with a grin kissing her one more time, so very glad to have her back in his arms. Looking up at his mom, he sees her looking at Kurt for the first time

She walked up to him looked at him for a minute and then hugged him. She had always liked Kurt when him and Blaine had been together, but when he had hurt Blaine, that had changed her mind about him. When Blaine explained what he had done, how he had cheated, she understood.

No, Michael hadn’t technically cheated on her, they had been separated when he met Shey’s mom, but it still hurt. She knew that if he had done to her what Blaine had done to Kurt, she might not have been so forgiving, son or not.

“Welcome back to our home Kurt, we have missed you” She said before turning around and walking with the three of them into the house.

“Blaine your daddy is in the den and wants to talk to you” she said with a grin. That interview he had done had shocked them both.

Walking into the den Blaine saw his dad stand up from his desk, a big smile on his face walking towards him. “Damn son, I know I told you to let it all out but…” He said laughing, pulling Blaine into a hug, slapping him on the back, being careful not to squeeze his granddaughter.

“Glad you approve.” Blaine just grinned.  

“How was New York? I saw the pictures and that apartment looks amazing” Pam asked motioning for everyone to set down.

“Mom it is, and to be honest I have decided to move there. I am going to sell the apartment in California. I like the idea of living closer to you guys, and I want away from California. I had already decided I wanted to move out of that apartment, I just can’t live there anymore. I am so tired of looking over my shoulder, and being followed everywhere I go. I want somewhere safer for Sere.” Blaine answered

“Are you sure son, when you moved away from New York, you said you would never go back, that there was nothing for you there after you left school?” His mom asked concerned for her son. Yes she understood the first breakup, but couldn’t understand why Kurt broke Blaine’s heart the second time. She had never seen someone look so utterly devastated in her life, and to see that look on her son, hurt so bad, knowing there wasn’t anything she could do to make it better.

Blaine looked over at Kurt, and then over at his mom “I’m sure. I know this is the right thing for me and Sere. I think getting away from that whole lifestyle will be the very best thing for both of us. We both need a change” And Blaine believed that one hundred percent. They had been through things, but he felt that him and Kurt were in a better place this time than they were before. Well almost…

“Has there been any blow back yet from the interview” Blaine asked, looking over at his dad, after reading it this morning, he wondered if he might have made things worse, taken it too far. But he knew he had to tell his side of things, to get his side out there before the Mitchell’s told theirs. Blaine knew he had the truth on his side, but still.

“No blow back, but there are a few things going on that I need to talk to you about” Michael said looking at him

“Do I need to leave” Kurt asked starting to stand up

“No Kurt I have no secrets from you, whatever needs to be said can be said in front of you.” Blaine said reaching out and putting his hand on Kurt’s knee, keeping him sitting down beside him

“Ok first the Mitchell’s lawyer called me, they asked for another week to get everything packed and moved out of the house. They said you didn’t give them enough time. I told them we would agree to another week, and then they would be expected to be out. I informed him that you would be coming by and anything left behind would be tossed. I don’t know if they think they can keep stretching it until it’s time to go to court or what, but I gave them one more week.” Michael said looking at Blaine

“Ok, that sounds reasonable, what else” Blaine asked his dad

“I know you said you were ready to move out of California, away from everything there, but, I was talking with Bryce’s lawyer and he thinks it would be best if you stayed until after the court business is settled. I understand that you want to leave son I do, but it would be better if you were still there.” He said looking at his son seeing the look of disappointment on his face.

“Dad, seriously” Blaine said looking at his dad. He couldn’t stand the idea of staying in that apartment; he was ready to move on with his life, put the past behind him.

“Blaine, son I know how much you are wanting out of there I do, but we have to be smart right now. You still need to be a California resident until after everything is settled.” Michael said trying to explain.

“How long” Blaine asked shaking his head, bouncing Sere when she started fussing. He didn’t know if she was feeling the change in his mood or what.

“Just till after we get everything settled. I have requested a court date, but it looks like the earliest possible one is in two months” he answered

“Two months dad, I have to put my life on hold for two more months, I just don’t understand, I just want this all to be over. If it wasn’t for losing Sere, I would tell you to drop it and let the Mitchell’s have everything. I can’t believe that Bryce is still screwing me over from the grave” Blaine said standing up and starting to walk trying to sooth a now crying Sere. “Shh sweet girl, it’s ok, I’m sorry daddy upset you, it’s ok” he said rubbing his hand across her back soothingly.

“Blaine son, you just have to be officially living there. That doesn’t mean that you have to stay there. You just need to make sure you are spending at least one night a week in California, the rest of the time you can stay in New York” Michael said watching his son as he soothed his little girl. Michael was so proud of the man Blaine had become, and the father he was. He hated that they had to do this, but hoped they could get everything settled quickly. He knew Blaine had to feel like a dark cloud was hanging over him.

When Sere finally calmed back down, Blaine went back over and sat down with Kurt. “What else” he asked because he knew that wasn’t the end of things.

“Ok, I told you I have been working with Bryce’s lawyer, he is going to step in and help us. My license doesn’t allow me to practice law in California, their legal system is so much different from anywhere else and it would take too long to get my license to practice there. John will be stepping in as your lawyer for all court proceedings” Michael told him

“Dad, I don’t know if I like that idea. I trust you to have my back, can we really trust him” Blaine asked.

“Son, I think this will be our best bet. I was going to need to find you a new lawyer anyway; this way I can be second chair. I will be there watching your back, but he will be your actual lawyer, and to answer your question, yes I think we can trust him. He has given me a lot of information he didn’t have to. I think this will be the best thing to do, but son it is your decision. This is your life.”

“Dad, I trust you, if you feel this will be the best way to go, then that is what we will do. So I can still live basically in New York, just leave my permanent address in California for right now correct” Blaine said asking his dad. Maybe that won’t be so bad after all. He needed to get everything in the apartment packed up, and arrange for a mover to move everything he decides to take with him anyway.

“Well any of this stop me from checking out the London apartment, I want to get that all settled and have one less thing to worry about” Blaine asked

“No, that won’t be a problem at all. Speaking of London I was able to get with Shey’s lawyer and he thinks he might have someone already lined up to buy her apartment, especially if you agree to sell it furnished.” Michael answered.

“That won’t be a problem, that will actually help. I can just concentrate on getting her stuff packed up and not worry about getting rid of furniture.” Blaine answered

“Sounds good, do you know when you plan on getting that settled” Michael asked

“Well, Kurt’s dad was wanting us to come to Friday dinner tonight, so if me and Kurt can get everything packed and ready, maybe Sunday, if he is willing to go with me, we can head that way. I want to get this done and have one less thing to worry about. Kurt’s boss has given him a month off to help me do this, so the sooner we can get it done the better” Blaine answered

“Do you want me to keep Sere for you” Pam asked and Blaine could tell she was hoping he would say yes, but he wanted the baby with him.

“Not this time mom, I am going to take her with me. I was thinking about taking a few pictures of her at the apartment, that way when she gets older she will have a reminder of her mother, and to be honest, I am not ready to let her go again so soon. I know I will need to leave her with you when we go to check on Paris, but I think London will be ok to take her.” Blaine said looking at her, seeing the disappointment on her face. Pam had quickly become attached to Sere, and that couldn’t make Blaine any happier.

“Ok, well if you change your mind I will be happy to keep her for you” Pam said with a smile

“I know mom and I really appreciate it, but with everything going on, I just want her with me as much as possible, plus she is changing so fast, I don’t want to miss anything.” Blaine said looking down at his daughter. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved her. She made everything he had had to go through worth it. He almost hated Bryce, but had to thank him for bringing this child into his world.

They continued to talk, and discuss the court case, ate lunch and just enjoyed spending time together as a family, Blaine happy that they included Kurt in everything. They had always liked him when they were dating. Yes they hadn’t been happy with him after the first break up, but after explaining to them what he had done, they finally understood, he was just glad they seemed to be putting the second breakup behind them as well.

Before they realized it, it was time to head to Lima. Blaine took Sere into her room and changed her clothes. He was starting to feel nervous. This was going to be the first time he would be seeing Burt and Carol, since he moved to California. He didn’t know how much Kurt had told them about what happened.

He had always loved Burt, he had been like a second father to him, especially during the time he was having problems with his own dad. But one thing Blaine knew, well used to know anyway before their last break, Burt always thought that him and Kurt should be together, even after Blaine had cheated. 

Blaine had sat down and talked to Burt, he didn’t really tell him why he cheated, but that he did. Burt thought that was the sign of a true man, taking responsibility for his actions, and he had forgiven him. Burt had actually pushed for them to get back together.

Blaine had to laugh thinking about Christmas before last, when Burt had shown up at McKinley and convinced him to go to New York and surprise Kurt. He hadn’t really known how Kurt would react. They had just started talking again over Thanksgiving, trying to reconnect, be friends again at least, but it had turned out perfect. They had had their annual Christmas duet while skating at Bryant Park.

That was still one of Blaine’s happiest memories. Kurt had been more relaxed than he had been in a long time, and Blaine was with the love of his life, his life couldn’t have been more perfect. They had finished skating, drank hot chocolate and just enjoyed being together again. On the way back to Kurt’s they had shared several sweet kisses that had Blaine hoping that they were heading for reconciliation, it took a while, but they got there.

“Ok, baby girl, I am going to be taking you to meet two very important people in daddy’s life. Be prepared for a lot of hugs and kisses” Blaine said laughing. He could already see Burt and Carol.

“And you need to be prepared to lose your daughter, because I don’t see Carol letting her go” Kurt said with a smile on his face leaning against the door frame of Sere’s room. He loved watching Blaine with her, he was so confident; there was absolutely no hesitation at all. He seemed like he had been a father for years instead of just a few months.

Kurt walked up to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him, and placed a soft kiss on his lips which Blaine happily returned. He was so glad to have this man back in his life, back in his arms where he was always meant to be.

“You ready” Blaine asked kissing him one more time, before picking up Sere, and then reaching down and taking Kurt’s hand.

“Yes, yes I am” Kurt answered, meaning yes, he was ready to go, but also ready for so much more. He was ready to move on with their lives’ together. He knows it will be a slow go now that Blaine has a daughter, but oh so worth it.

“Let’s go” Blaine said with a smile, walking with his family out the door.

 

Chapter Text

 

 

Blaine didn’t remember the trip from Westerville to Lima ever going so fast. He remembers this drive, how long it always seemed to take him, but it had always been worth it, because at the end of that long drive had been Kurt.

Before he even realized it, they were pulling up in front of Burt and Carol’s house. He put the car in park and then sat there breathing heavy, suddenly as nervous as he had been the first time he pulled up in this driveway, after him and Kurt had officially became boyfriends and started dating. He had been so nervous, especially since it had only been a week before that, that he had told Burt he needed to talk to Kurt about sex.

It’s a wonder Burt hadn’t killed him then. Blaine can still remember the look on Burt’s face when he told him in the middle of his shop that he was worried because every time he had tried to talk to Kurt about sex he put his fingers in his ears and wouldn’t listen. Blaine can only smile when he thinks about how a year later he and Kurt had discovered the joys of sex together. Blaine had been so very much in love, laying there in his bed holding Kurt, he had felt like his world was complete.

“You ready” Kurt asked looking at Blaine watching as he just sat staring at the front door of the house breathing heavy, looking nervous.

“Yeah I’m ready” Blaine said looking at the door wanting to give himself just another few minutes before heading in and facing Burt. The next minute though, the choice as to when to go in was taken out of his hands, he watched as the front door opened and Burt and Carol walked out, both with warm smiles on their faces, and in that instant Blaine knew everything was going to be ok.

Burt walked over to Blaine's side of the car, leaned down so he was looking at him through the window. “Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to get out and give me a hug” Burt said laughing

Blaine quickly opened his door, stepped out and was pulled into a massive hug. He had missed this, being part of this family, he finally felt like he was home again. When Kurt walked up to them, his dad let go of Blaine and hugged Kurt, Carol walked up to Blaine, put her hands on either side of his face making Blaine look at her.

“Don’t you ever stay gone so long again Blaine” She said pulling into a hug “I have missed you”

“I missed you too” Blaine said standing back so he could look at her. “I have someone I want you both to meet” Blaine said looking at both of them, and then he walked to the back door of the car and pulled Sere out of her carseat. Placing a kiss on her cheek Blaine turned around, and faced the two people who had always meant so much in his life. He stood there for a minute and then looked down at the face of his daughter knowing that if they couldn’t accept her, they couldn’t accept him. He really shouldn’t have worried.

“Burt, Carol I would like you to meet my daughter Sere” he said looking at them for a second before turning Sere slightly in his arms so they could see her for the first time. Every day she was changing and started looking more like him and less like Bryce. She still had Bryce’s eyes, but everything else was Blaine.

“Oh wow Blaine she is beautiful” Carol whispered walking up to him looking at her. “If Kurt hadn’t told us about her, I would think she was 100% yours” she said looking at Blaine “Can I hold her”

Blaine smiled handing Sere too her, and then stood back to watch Burt and Carol interact with her

“And just like that you have lost her” Kurt said walking over to Blaine wrapping his arm around his waist

Blaine stood there and watched his little girl as she tried to talk to them, and could only smile when he saw the big burly Burt Hummel start talking back to her, acting like he understood every word she babbled.

“It’s good to be home” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, pulling him close. He had always felt like the Hummel’s were his family, it was nice to see that that hadn’t changed.

“I don’t know why you were so worried to begin with” Kurt said kissing Blaine before following his parents as they walked with Sere inside the house.

They talked all through dinner reconnecting, Blaine feeling like he had been there just yesterday instead of over a year ago. Before any of them were ready, it was time for them to leave.

“Don’t be gone so long next time” Burt said hugging Blaine when they got back to his car. “You are still part of this family son. Don’t ever forget that again”

“I won’t, I promise” Blaine said returning the hug.

“Dad, this weekend I am going to be going with Blaine to London to see about packing up his sister’s apartment. I will be away for several days” Kurt said looking at Burt

“Well, don’t forget to call me when you get home kiddo” Burt said hugging Kurt one more time holding the car door while Kurt was getting in.

Kurt looked at his dad with a smile on his face “I promise”

“Drive safe” Burt said, and then shut Kurt’s door and watched them back out of the driveway.

“Ok, what do you think about catching a flight first thing in the morning back to New York, you can pack a suitcase, and grab your passport, and then we can fly to California so I can pack for me and Sere. That will give me time to book a flight.” Blaine said looking at Kurt for a minute before turning his attention back to the road.

“Sounds good. How long do you think we will be there” Kurt asked looking at Blaine.

“I am not really sure, but I would plan on at least a week. Anything more than that and we can buy what we need there” Blaine answered

“Oh, and you know just how much I hate to shop” Kurt said with a smile breaking out on his face. Thinking about Burberry, and other London designers.

“I know it is going to be such an inconvenience for you,” Blaine said laughing

“Oh it will, you will owe me big time Mr. Anderson” Kurt said laughing back 

“I think I can handle that Mr. Hummel,'' Blaine said back looking over at him again, feeling so comfortable and at home with Kurt. It almost felt like it used to. He had so missed him.

As Blaine was pulling into his parent’s driveway his phone started ringing. Pulling it out of his pocket and looking at the display he recognized the name and number right away. “This is Blaine”

Kurt started to get out of the car to give Blaine privacy while he took his call, Blaine stopped him by placing his hand on Kurt’s knee and giving him a soft smile, letting him know it was ok to stay

“Wait, what do you mean?” Blaine answered in shock

“I never agreed to that Jack, I never signed on for that”

“Hold up a minute, what do you mean Bryce approved it; he told you I agreed?”

“I never signed anything, how am I responsible”

“No, he had no legal right to sign anything on my behalf, and I know for a fact I didn’t sign to do that project, especially with him. I told you after Always, and after the last miniseries I did, that I wasn’t going to do any more acting. I want to be home for Sere right now, especially since she lost Bryce.”

“Shit” Blaine whispered running his hand through his hair “And you’re sure it is my signature, because I don’t remember signing anything agreeing to that.

“Can you get me out of it, do to un-foreseen circumstances?”

Ok, ok when is it?  I am leaving for London tomorrow to finally clear out Shey’s apartment, and I won’t be back to L.A. for at least a week”

“Fine, just get everything set up, and Jack, this is the last thing I am doing” Blaine said hitting the end call button on his phone before putting his head back on the head rest bringing his hands up rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “Shit” he whispered again

“Blaine, what’s going on” Kurt asked looking at Blaine with concern

“Well it would seem that before my ‘ husband’ died, he agreed we would both do a show together. Jack; my manager is saying I signed a contract agreeing to it before Bryce died. I don’t remember it, I know Bryce never said anything about it to me because hell me and him were barely talking at the time, and even though Bryce is no longer around to do it, I still have to.” Blaine said looking at Kurt, wandering once again just how much more Bryce could screw him from the grave.

“When did he say you agreed to it” Kurt said looking at him

“He said Bryce agreed to it right before the awards show. I know I signed a few things for Jack that week, and before you ask, no I didn’t read everything. He was my manager and he was in charge of all of that. I wonder what else I signed… crap” Blaine sighed. Once again glad that he was leaving that crazy world behind him.

“Do you think your dad could look at the contract you signed and get you out of it” Kurt asked

“No, because just like with the lawsuit dad doesn’t really know California law, and nothing about entertainment law. I will do this one last show and be done with it.” Blaine said opening up his car door and stepping out. He reached in the back door and pulled a sleeping Sere out of her car seat. When Kurt walked over to them, he reached down for his hand and then they walked towards the front door of his parent’s house.

They spent the night in Westerville and got on the first available plane to New York. Kurt needed to go home and pack clothes and get his passport, and Blaine needed to book tickets for California so he could pack for him and Sere and he still needed to book a flight and hotel reservations for their London trip.

When the three of them landed at LaGuardia, they first went to Kurt’s apartment and he packed everything he thought he would need for a week and a half. He knew when they got back from London, Blaine would need to spend some time in California and he wanted to be there with him.

After Kurt was packed, they got a taxi and went to Blaine’s apartment, glad when they got there that the portable crib he had ordered had been delivered and was waiting for him at the security desk. He would need it here until he could buy a new crib for Sere, plus with it being portable he could take it with them in case the motel they stayed out while in the U.K. didn’t have one.

After setting down their luggage, they went out and grabbed dinner at one of the little bistro’s they used to eat at before the break up. They had a really good time enjoying a quiet conversation. Right as they were finishing up, Blaine noticed someone taking his picture with her cell phone and knew that the paparazzi would be there soon.

“Let’s get out of here” Blaine said with a strained smile. So tired of people taking his picture, especially when he was out with Kurt and the baby.

Kurt looked up at him surprised they had been having a good time and then Blaine just decides it is time to go. “What’s wrong” he asked looking concerned

“I just saw someone taking my picture which means we will soon be invaded. If it was just me I would smile and wave and go on, but I don’t want them taking pictures of the two of you. I chose this life, you didn’t” Blaine said looking at Kurt with a sad smile. Looking forward to the day when he might be able to have a quiet dinner with the man he loves without having camera’s shoved in his face.

“Ok, let’s go, I am ready to spend time alone with you anyway” Kurt answered standing up

They managed to make it outside and in a taxi before the paparazzi stormed in. They looked out the rear window and saw them all start pilling in the restaurant they had just left.

“I’m sorry Kurt” Blaine said with a sad smile. “If you would rather stay here and not go to London with me I will understand.”

“Oh no Mr. Anderson I am looking forward to that trip, I’m not going to allow you to take that trip away from me now.” Kurt said with a big smile. No matter how many cameras ended up following them he didn’t plan on leaving Blaine’s side again. The year they had been a part had been long enough.

“Are you sure Kurt, I really will understand” Blaine questioned him again, so glad that Kurt hadn’t decided it was too much trouble being with him.

“I am sure” Kurt said placing a small kiss on Blaine’s cheek.

When they got back to Blaine’s apartment, he gave Sere a bottle holding her tight, looking down at her sweet face, still sometimes not able to believe he had a daughter, and knowing that even though the last year and a half of his life had been pure hell he knew that if asked, he would do it all again, if it brought him her. She was oh so worth it.

When she finished her bottle for the night, Blaine carried her into the bathroom he would use for her, and gave her a warm bath and then put her in a pair of pajamas. He held her for a few minutes singing softly to her, and she was out like a light. He gently placed her in her crib and then walked back to the living room and sat down beside Kurt on the couch and pulled him close to him.

“She asleep” Kurt asked placing his head on Blaine’s shoulder

“Yea, usually a warm bath is all it takes, that and a song and she is out” Blaine answered placing a kiss on top of Kurt’s head.

Blaine turned on the television with the volume on low and they watched a movie together. Before it was off, Blaine felt Kurt snuggle deeper into his side and realized Kurt was asleep. He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. He gently pushed Kurt so that he was lying with his back to the couch and he curled in front of him, holding him close and was soon falling asleep himself.

oOoOo

Blaine was having the most amazing dream; he had Kurt’s warm wet mouth on him, he was so hard, and the friction that Kurt was making was with his mouth was unbelievable. Blaine could feel as Kurt’s mouth moved up and down, feel his tongue circle the head of his cock before making his way back down. Kurt had always been so, so good at pleasuring him.

He hadn’t felt this relaxed and loved in a long time, not since before their break up. Bryce had never been willing to try giving Blaine a blowjob even though he had given Bryce one all the time. Blaine felt as Kurt gently massaged his balls and he couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his mouth, he was in heaven.

He was so very close, he felt the tightening in his balls and in the tell tale pull in his stomach he was about to cum, he hadn’t felt so good in a long time. Blaine thrust his hips up, moaning again, and felt as Kurt put his hand on his hips to hold him still. That is when Blaine woke up realizing this was no dream.

The last thing Blaine remembered was that he and Kurt had been snuggling on the couch watching a movie. He had smiled when he realized that Kurt had fallen asleep with his head on his shoulder. He had scooted them both down until they were laying down on the couch he had been so warm and comfortable, he had soon drifted off to sleep himself

“Kurt, please stop" Blaine whispered turning his face away so that Kurt couldn’t see the look on it.

Kurt stopped instantly and pulled his mouth off of Blaine, feeling so beyond hurt. Blaine sighed before adjusting his clothes, and then sitting up. He wanted to cry when he saw the look that Kurt was giving him; he stood up and moved slightly away from him. Needing to put a little distance between them before he went back over to Kurt and begged him to finish what he had started. He hadn’t felt that good in so long, feeling someone else’s touch on his skin, but he just couldn’t let Kurt keep doing it, he knew where it would lead.

"Why Blaine why....Do you think I haven't noticed how you pull away from me every time I get close to you, or that you haven’t made love to me since we got back together. Is it because of him , is it because I am not him " Kurt asked standing up and turning his back to Blaine.

He was so tired of this, his feelings so hurt that Blaine had once again pulled away from him, feeling the rejection like a smack in the face; he didn’t think this could hurt worse if Blaine HAD actually slapped him.

"Why won't you let me touch you anymore, why do you pull away from me every time I try to get close to you" Kurt asked turning around to look at him

"Kurt, I just can't" Blaine whispers looking at Kurt, knowing he was hurting him.

"I don't understand Blaine, please help me understand" Kurt says with tears running down his face, "If you don't want me anymore then tell me, if Bryce was better in bed than me, just tell me Blaine, please don't leave me hanging.”

" No Kurt no, don’t ever think that ” Blaine said, feeling upset that Kurt would even think something like that

“You don't want me anymore Blaine. Do you think I haven't noticed that? The only time you touch me is when I start something. We haven't made love one time since we got back together. You won't even let me take care of you. You pull away from me. Blaine, I know I am not Bryce, and never will be, but I thought I would be enough. I used to be enough" Kurt whispered

"Kurt, you are and have always been enough for me. I have just been afraid to be honest, that I wasn’t good enough for you. I can’t let sex destroy us again, Kurt I just can’t, please understand” Blaine said with tears now running down his face looking at Kurt wishing there was a way to fix this. He couldn’t lose him again. He had just gotten him back.

“How can I understand any of this Blaine huh, you say you love me and yet you seem like you can’t stand for me to touch you. None of that makes any kind of sense to me.” Kurt said trying not to scream the way he so wants to because he knows Sere is still asleep in her room.

Blaine sighed looking at Kurt, he slowly walked over to him, placing his hands on either side of his face and places a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips before pulling away again, walking towards the office. Blaine reached in the messenger bag and pulled out Bryce’s journal. He had carried it with him, in case his dad needed to make a copy of some of the pages like they had discussed before. Now he was glad that he had. Blaine flipped through the pages until he got to the first page where he was mentioned.

Blaine looked down at the cover, and blew out his breath. He had never planned on letting anyone read his shame, but he knew that he needed to let Kurt so he could maybe understand. Knowing he would never be able to say those words out loud himself, still so unbelievably hurt and shocked by what Bryce had written about him. Taking a deep breath, he walked back into the living room and over to Kurt.

“I know when we first started talking to each other I let you read part of Bryce’s journal. I couldn’t let you or anyone else read all of it. I just couldn’t. Kurt some of the things in this journal are hurtful and very painful. Some of the things he says are beyond cruel.”

“I need you to read it so that maybe you will understand me. Why I feel like I do, I love you Kurt more than you will EVER know, but in here, is why I can’t give you what you want. I hope after you read it, you might be able to understand” Blaine said in a soft voice and with the saddest look on his face, it broke Kurt’s heart.

Blaine had always been so outgoing. He had such a bubbly personality. Kurt had lost count over the years of how many times Blaine had bounced on furniture. He would smile at the drop of a hat, and laugh until everyone in the room laughed with him. He was generous to a fault and loved beyond measure.

Kurt knew from the moment they had connected he had become Blaine’s person. That is why he hurt so badly when he thinks back to how bad he had treated Blaine. He remembers how he had sat across from him at the Lima Bean wanting him to transfer to McKinley so his senior year could be perfect. What had he done to help make sure Blaine’s senior year was perfect…? Nothing.

Blaine had left the school he loved. The school where he had friends, to be with Kurt, and as soon as he had gotten to New York, everything had seemed so much more amazing than his high school sweetheart and he had started ignoring him. No wonder Blaine was as jaded as he was. Two people who were supposed to be there for him had let him down.

Kurt knew that over the last few weeks Blaine had been hiding behind his mask. Kurt knew that Blaine was glad that they were back together; he believed that without a doubt. He knew that Blaine loved him as much as he loved Blaine, but he also knew that Blaine wasn’t happy and hadn’t been in a while. Bryce had almost destroyed him.

“Blaine if you don’t want me to read it I won’t. Can’t you just tell me” Kurt asked still looking at him

“No Kurt, trust me I can’t say the stuff that is written in there, but I need you to read it, so you might understand why I am the way I am. Please remember I love you ok. This page is where “we” began. When you are done come to my room and we can talk ok" Blaine said handing him the journal and then he leaned over and placed a small kiss on Kurt’s lips.

Blaine turned away from Kurt and walked down the hall towards his room. Looking in at Sere to see is she was ok. He made his way to his bedroom; he couldn’t be in the same room with Kurt when he read Bryce’s words. He was too ashamed to even look at him.

Blaine walked into his room; grabbed out a notebook and pen from where he had left it on the dresser and walked out to his balcony and sat down. He opened his notebook and started writing a letter, a letter of explanation for everything. He couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down his face, remembering the vile words that had been written by someone he had once thought of as a friend.

It was quiet in the living room for 15 minutes and then he heard a loud "fuck" and then feet running down the hall. Kurt didn't stop; he went straight to Blaine, tears streaming down his face, he pulled Blaine up from his chair and into arms, holding him tight, as they both cried. Kurt couldn't believe what that son of a bitch had written about someone as perfect, and special as Blaine.

The things Bryce had done to him on purpose, was unforgivable. He had purposely withheld intimacy from Blaine, while the whole time he had been sleeping with a fellow actor, hoping that he could push Blaine to cheat on him so he could take Blaine for his money. Blaine had told him about their past and Bryce had used it against him.

Kurt knew that Blaine wasn’t the type of person to cheat on someone. When he was in a committed relationship he would never cheat. Kurt knew he was the only reason he had. Bryce had taken that information and used it, hoping that if he did the same thing to Blaine that Kurt had done he would cheat on him too.

"Kurt, I can't do that to you. I can't make you go through what I made Bryce. I don't want you to ever have to lay there and just take it that would kill me." Blaine whispered pulling Kurt closer. Looking him in the eyes

"I will take care of your needs, I will give you all I can of me, but I will not force myself on you." Blaine said pulling out of Kurt’s arms once again. Bending over he picked up his notebook that had fallen when Kurt had pulled him into his arms. Blaine tore the letter he had written out, and handed it to Kurt. Hoping it could explain more to Kurt than he could verbally; he then walked over to the railing, leaned on it and just looked at the sights of New York’s nightlife.

Kurt,

I am thankful every day that I have you back in my life, that you are mine again. I love you more now than I did before, and that is hard to believe since I have always loved you more than life itself. You quickly became my world, my center, and in a way my very existence.  But I am scared. I am scared of losing you again, disappointing you, not satisfying you. I know when I let you read the journal before, you said not to believe what he had written. I only let you read a small part of it then, I couldn’t let you read it all...

I couldn’t let you read all of Bryce’s thoughts about me, about our life together. I knew things were strained between us but I never would have thought all of that. That is why I only let you read part of it; I was too ashamed to let you see it all. Who would want to let someone else read the hateful thoughts their “husband” had written about them. How I was never able to satisfy him. Something inside me broke a little that day. I had done everything I could to be good to him, I really had.

When I first started reading what he had written, I tried to convince myself that it was him, he was just unhappy but then I thought back to when we were together, how you pulled away from me too. You stopped being interested in being with me, I know what you said before about it, why you did it then, why you ended us, I do. But it had started before that too though.

Remember in high school, your senior year, when you started texting Chandler. Are you sure you didn't do that because I wasn’t satisfying you even then. Was I not good enough even then? Everything I knew I had learned with you, we learned and explored that side of our relationship together. We figured out what we liked and what we didn’t or at least at the time I thought we did.

Maybe I wasn’t enough even then; maybe what we had wasn’t enough. Maybe even then you were searching for someone better. Someone who could do things for you that I wasn’t, satisfy you in a way I couldn’t.  I love you too much to lose you because of that. I can’t risk losing you because I am lousy in bed. I will take care of you any way I can, but I’m sorry Kurt, I can’t make love to you, I can’t lose you again.  I love you too much.

Please forgive me Kurt; I don’t want to sentence you to a life without something I know you enjoy. I won’t do that. If you need to leave me to get what you need, so be it, as long as you always come back to me. I couldn’t survive if I lost you again Kurt.

Yours Now and Always

Blaine

"Blaine," Kurt said looking at him crying,

"I can't disappoint you again Kurt; I just can’t” Blaine said with tears running down his face. This hurt so much. He just wanted to pull him close, to show him just how much he loved him, but he loved him too much to ruin everything they did have again.

"Blaine you have never once disappointed me, ever. If you had, would have I tried to get back with you. Would I have kept trying to get you to make love to me" Kurt asked wiping the tears off of his face. This was so much worse than he thought. That man had taken every bit of confidence Blaine had in the bedroom and destroyed it.

“Are you sure when you came to New York after graduation, when you pulled away the first time that you weren’t looking for someone better even then?" Blaine asked

"Blaine there is no one out there, then or now, for me that is better than you, because there is no one better than you for me. True what we know we learned together, but who says that’s a bad thing. You are all I need or will ever need. You love me, you take care of me, you satisfy me in a way no one else on this earth ever could. I have never once tried to be with anyone else but you. I never could, you are it for me, you are my life, my center, my everything, Blaine, just like I was for you. I am so sorry that my actions before, made you believe what that idiot wrote.”

“Blaine please stop pushing me away, please stop thinking about him. Please stop letting someone destroy you from the grave. You are it for me; there could never be anyone else. I love you Blaine, I need you" Kurt said pulling Blaine’s face down to him, not letting go even when Blaine struggled to get away, Kurt just held on tighter.

In that instant Blaine finally believed, and he felt something inside him snap and he pulled Kurt to him, attacking his mouth, kissing him harder and deeper, needing him in that instant more than he ever had in his life. He was finally able to let go and believe, to believe in them again.

“I don’t have anything here Kurt, I didn’t plan on this” Blaine said kissing across Kurt jaw and to the spot on his neck that Blaine had learned so long ago, set Kurt on fire.

“That’s ok, for now just hold me Blaine, please just hold me" Kurt moaned pulling him closer

“Happy too baby, so, so happy too” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear pulling him even closer, never wanting to let him go.

Kurt threw his head back as Blaine kissed down his neck, and then nibbled on his shoulder. “Blaine, do you remember the first night I slept at Dalton” Kurt exhaled getting more and more turned on.

“Of course I do baby, I remember everything about that nig…. OH ” Blaine said with a grin placing another long deep kiss on Kurt’s lips before slowly reaching out to undo the buttons on Kurt’s shirt, only then noticing there were a thousand teeny tiny buttons down the front of it.

“Your clothes are still ridicules and hate me” Blaine groaned out, remembering all the tight, tight jeans that Kurt used to wear that took him thirty minutes to peel off of him. Yes he had always loved seeing Kurt’s toned ass inside those tight jeans, but loved it even more seeing that ass without them.

“And you are still impatient” Kurt laughed leaning in to kiss Blaine. He reached up and started to help Blaine out by unbuttoning his shirt for him. Blaine was getting impatient, now that he was allowing himself to touch Kurt, he wanted to touch all of him now, right when Blaine was about to slide Kurt’s shirt off his shoulders, they heard Sere in her room starting to cry.

“Damn” Blaine said dropping his hands off of Kurt waist. “Cockblocked by my own daughter” Blaine said with a small moan leaning in to place a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips. “We will finish this later” Blaine said reaching down to adjust himself in his pants before walking down the hall and into Sere’s room to pick her up.

“You did that on purpose, didn't you baby girl, wait until you are eighteen and want to go out on your first date” Blaine said with a smile kissing her on top of the head.

“Eighteen huh, I seem to remember you were only sixteen the first time we went out on a date” Kurt said laughing at Blaine, walking in just in time to have heard what he said.

“Welllll, my little girl will be eighteen before she goes out the first time and I like the advice your dad gave you about saving yourself; that sex was a good present to give yourself when you are thirty.” Blaine said turning around looking at Kurt with a grin on his face.

“And I seem to remember you not letting me get past eighteen” Kurt said walking up to Blaine wrapping his arms around him and Sere

“Well you shouldn’t have worn those ridiculously tight pants” Blaine said taking his free hand squeezing Kurt’s ass, feeling so good allowing himself to touch Kurt again. It had been almost painful denying himself something he had wanted to do for over a year.

“Don’t worry little girl, I’ll talk daddy down” Kurt said kissing her cheek and then laughing when she made grabby hands trying to get Kurt to take her almost as if she understood what he was promising.

Blaine, on the other hand was on cloud nine because he did understand that was Kurt’s way of letting him know he was in it for the long haul. He would be there when Sere was sixteen or eighteen when she was allowed to go on her first date.

“I need to get with Burt and see if he will let me borrow his gun when the time comes” Blaine said with a big smile on his face and Kurt could do nothing but laugh.

“Let’s go grab breakfast somewhere and then head to the airport it is almost time to head to California.” Blaine said kissing Kurt and Sere on their cheeks before pulling down the travel crib, it would be going with them. Blaine grabbed Kurt’s suitcase and they were soon heading out the door, holding hands, and Blaine was finally back to his happy place, a place he never planned on leaving again.

 

A/N: The next chapter will include the london apartment I promise lol. Thanks for reading T.B.

Chapter Text

 

oOoOo

 

On the way out of the apartment Blaine stopped by the security desk and put in a request for a duplicate key for the elevator, and his apartment, wanting Kurt to be able to come and go as he wanted without having to buzz for him to let him in. When he was done with that he asked what parking spots had been assigned to Bryce.

Heading towards the parking garage that was set up for the tenets of the apartment complex Blaine looked at Kurt “I forgot that in the will, not only did it say that I got the apartment, but he also had two cars here, I need to check them out really quick and figure out what to do with them” Blaine said

“What kind are they” Kurt asked looking at Blaine

“A BMW and a Mustang” Blaine answered shifting Kurt’s bag, and the portable crib a little, wishing he had thought to leave them at the desk until they were ready to leave.

When they got to the spaces that had been assigned to Bryce, they found a black BMW that looked to be almost brand new and a car under a cover. Blaine sat down the suitcase and travel crib and walked over to the car, lifting up on the cover and stood there with his mouth open. Under the cover was a 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback in candy apple red. That had been his dream car when he was younger. He used to talk to Kurt about getting one when he was older.

From the look of it, it had been completely restored. Blaine walked around the car looking at it, and was in love. He tried the door handle and it was locked. He knew it would be but had to try it anyway. The same with the BMW.

“He never told you about the cars” Kurt asked looking at Blaine

“No, but I keep finding out more and more things I didn’t know about. Until the will was read I didn’t even know this place existed much less the Paris apartment. I knew about London because we had to go there to get stuff for Sere when we first got her. Bryce had a lot of secrets, I wonder if I will ever know them all” Blaine said looking at Kurt, feeling a little sad that Bryce felt he had to keep so much of himself hidden away.

“You don’t have the keys?” Kurt asked looking at Blaine

“No, I’ll look when we get back to California. He had a key ring that he kept in his nightstand in our bedroom. I saw him put it in there once but didn’t really think that much about it at the time; the one that had our apartment key on it is still on the dresser. It was given to me along with the rest of his personal effects when I had to identify the body” Blaine answered leaning down to look through the window of the BMW.

Blaine had never even opened the envelope to see what all was in it when it was handed to him. He really hadn’t cared. He had been given a sealed manila envelope and Bryce’s key ring. He had sat both of them on the dresser and didn’t look at them again. He guesses he might need to now.

“The mustang looks to be in really good condition. Whoever restored it seems to have done a good job on it. You should have dad check it out to be safe if you are thinking about keeping it” Kurt said shifting Sere a little when she started squirming.

“That probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. What am I going to do with the BMW, I have a car in California I bought right after I moved there, I don’t need another one.” Blaine said looking at Kurt.

“I’m not sure, but, can I make a suggestion” Kurt asked looking at Blaine “give yourself time before you make that kind of a decision. I know you say you didn’t love Bryce, but you did care about him. I know how much he hurt you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you just lost someone who at one point was important enough to you, to marry him.”

“Give yourself time to figure everything out. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of, if nothing else your friend. I know you can’t really do anything like that about the London and Paris apartments, you need to get that settled, but the cars aren’t going to hurt anything sitting here for a while.”

“Give yourself time to figure yourself out before you make any major decisions. I know you are wanting to move out of your California apartment, you had already decided on that before he died, but for everything else take your time. They say after you lose someone you shouldn’t make any big life changing decisions for at least a few months.”

“When we lost mom, dad got rid of her stuff, because it hurt him too much to look at it, and later regretted that decision. He sold her car that she had loved so much, and then later wished he had saved it for me. I know the situation was a little different, that he really loved her, but it was still done in a moment of grief.”

“All I am saying is just give yourself a little time” Kurt said looking at Blaine. Hoping he hadn’t just over stepped. He and Blaine had just gotten back together and he was talking about something he really didn’t know that much about; Bryce and Blaine’s relationship.

“Thank you” Blaine whispered before pulling Kurt into his arms. He knew what Kurt was saying was good advice. The things he had done so far had been done out of anger and hurt, but like Kurt said, at one time Bryce had meant a lot to him. He didn’t regret getting rid of his clothes and the awards, he knew he didn’t need those things, but he would hold off on getting rid of anything else until he had time to rethink everything.

Bending over grabbing Kurt’s suitcase and the crib they head back out of the garage and out the front door of the complex, Blaine was able to hail a passing cab and they were on their way to the airport.

oOoOo

 

When they get to California, there were a few things Blaine needed to take care of before heading to London. He had told his dad he would go by and talk to Mr. Garrison, Bryce’s lawyer and sign some paperwork he needed so they could proceed with the lawsuit against the Mitchell’s. Even though it was Sunday, he had agreed to meet with Blaine, since he was going out of the country and they needed to file as soon as possible.

He needed to go by his manager’s office and get the particulars on the show he was being required to do, and last but not least, he needed to go by and talk to Cooper. He deserved to know that him and Kurt were back together from him and not from the media. They had been lucky so far and no good pictures of Kurt had made it into the papers yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time and wanted him to have a heads up first.

Luckily the paperwork that Mr. Garrison needed signed was already together so that didn’t take long, what took the longest was settling everything with his manager. He once again let him know that this show would be the last one he would do. Luckily he would only be filming roughly two days and that would be it. He would have a small part on the new show Forever Lost.

Jack told him that Bryce had hoped that there would be a recurring role for him. The producer had told Bryce they wanted both him and Blaine. He thought that they seemed to have good chemistry when they were filming Always. Blaine knows that was the only reason that Bryce would have agreed to working with Blaine again.

Next stop they made was Cooper’s, he had called ahead to let him know that they would be coming over. He knew how Cooper felt about Kurt, but like his parents he didn’t know the whole story about what had caused the first breakup and it was time to let him know.

When they walked in the door Blaine noticed the look Cooper kept shooting at Kurt, and Blaine knew it was time.

“Coop can I talk to you in your room for a minute” Blaine asked looking at him when Cooper nodded his head, Blaine followed him into the bedroom.

“Go ahead and have a seat Kurt, we will be right back” Cooper said looking at him, before shutting the door behind him. He didn’t like Kurt being back with Blaine and he really didn’t like him holding Sere.

“I can’t believe you took him back after everything he did to you Blaine, didn’t you learn anything” he said once the door was shut, raising his voice.

“Cooper I have something I need to talk to you about, can you please set down a minute and let me talk” Blaine asked looking at him

Cooper just looked at him “Fine” he said in an agitated voice before doing as Blaine requested and sat down. He could tell Cooper wanted to say so much, but did as Blaine requested and stayed quiet.

“Listen Cooper when me and Kurt broke up the first time there was a big reason for that and a lot of it, well most of it was my fault. When Kurt first moved to New York, he got busy with work and trying to get into NYADA, he didn’t really know how to manage his time very well yet. He was on his own for the first time. He didn’t have his dad micro managing his life, he was handling everything on his own, and don’t forget he was only eighteen.”

“I was seventeen, feeling very vulnerable because the person I loved, the person I was used to seeing every day was now hundreds of miles away, living a new life that suddenly I didn’t feel like I was a part of. He kept having to work all these weird hours, so our phone calls a lot of times got pushed back and our Skype dates became almost nonexistent.”

“I was used to us spending hours talking about us, about things we both liked to do, what we wanted for our future, and all of a sudden we were talking about the makeover he had done for Rachel and filmed for the Vogue website. The neat outfits he was finding in the Vogue clothes vault. In other words he was now excited about more than just me, well us. He had finally found a place that made him happy, and hadn’t learned how to balance all the different aspects of his life yet”

“I felt like I was losing him. The day before we broke up I had been trying to call him but he wasn’t answering his phone. I didn’t know at the time, that they had put him on the switch board so he could answer calls for them because their normal person was on vacation.”

“In his usual job he could at least pick up his phone and let me know he was busy but that he would call me back. The week we broke up I had called him several times and he didn’t answer his phone, it just kept going to voicemail, and sometimes I didn’t hear back from him, no text, no calls. I don’t know if I was feeling more vulnerable that day or what but…”

“Coop I was stupid, I cheated on him. I just felt so lost, so numb, I went out with someone I met on Facebook. It was stupid, instead of getting on a plane, acting like an adult and making him talk to me, I went out with someone else, and only then went to New York, I had to tell him. Cooper if you could have seen his face, when he opened his door and saw me standing there, heard how happy he was to see me, it still breaks my heart thinking about what I did to him.”

“I had never lied to him before, in that moment I thought about keeping it to myself, how would he ever know anyway , but I couldn’t do that to him. Like I said, I had never lied to him and to me not telling him what happened would have been just as bad as a lie, so I told him. Cooper I broke his heart. The look on his face is one I will never forget. He was so hurt and so betrayed, he broke up with me. Somehow we managed to work it all out, and he forgave me. It took time, but we got there and that is when we got engaged.”

“Looking back on it now I know it was too soon for us to get engaged, we should have waited but once again I let my insecurities get the better of me. I wanted a ring on his finger when he went back home, I wanted everyone to know that he was taken, that he was mine.”

“I don’t mean that, that was the only reason I asked him to marry me, because it’s not. I loved him so much and I just wanted to make our relationship a little more permanent.” Blaine said looking at Cooper, seeing the look of disbelief on his face.

“So you're telling me you are the reason for the first break up. YOU cheated on him ” Cooper said in disbelief

“Yes, I did. I blew everything out of proportion and threw away the best thing that ever happened to me. I still can’t believe he took me back after that” Blaine said looking at Cooper, hoping he would understand and cut Kurt a little slack.

“Ok Blaine, I understand the first break up. What about the last one, the one that left you almost broken” Cooper asked not ready to forgive Kurt yet.

“Kurt felt nervous and insecure. When we were closing down glee at McKinley, one of the old glee club members made a comment about how that is all the world needs is another teen marriage that will soon end in divorce. Kurt had already been thinking that we were too young to jump in to marriage. I think he thought our engagement would be longer than I did. I started planning the wedding because to be honest I was ready to make him mine, I wanted him to be my husband”

“What I didn’t know was that the closer the day came, the more scared Kurt became, he was doubting us. Were we to young, would we just end in divorce? He didn’t know how to tell me that he wanted to wait, he was nineteen, things were moving too fast and he freaked out. I had already cheated on him once, could he handle it if I did it again. He decided the best thing was to end us, instead of letting us fall apart. Before we went from loving each other, to hating each other instead, he thought he could save at least our friendship.”

“He told me he regretted the breakup the minute it happened. He wanted to take it back, he didn’t want to break up, and he wanted to tell me he had changed his mind, but I didn’t go home that night. I was so heartbroken I just couldn’t look at him right then, so I stayed in a motel room, crying my eyes out.”

“The next morning when I knew he would be in school, I went back to the apartment we were living in, packed my stuff and left. I refused to answer my phone when he called or respond to text messages. I was just so heartbroken I couldn’t deal with him right then. I dropped out of NYADA and went home”

“I started working for the Warblers, and dating Dave. When Rachel came back to Lima, to restart the New Directions, Kurt followed her. To be honest I wasn’t ready to see him yet, but everywhere I went he was there. I kept getting called to McKinley by different friends. We spent time talking like we used to when we were just friends, before we started dating. Kurt had been my best friend and I had really missed him.”

“We started hanging around together again, and we almost fell back into place. It all felt so normal being with him again, because no matter what, I was still so very much in love with him, but I wasn’t free, I was still with Dave.”

Blaine stops and looks at Cooper for a minute, running his hand through his hair, feeling it like it was just yesterday. “We were having a party for Rachel one night. He dads were selling her childhood home, and she was having a really hard time dealing with everything going on. We all got together and decided to throw her a goodbye her childhood home party.”

“Me and Kurt did a duet together and all these old feelings started crashing in and scared the shit out of me. We talked and when it was time for me to leave, I still don’t know why I did it but I kissed him, I was just so drawn to him. We had our duet, like we had done so many times before, it brought back all the old feelings I had for him, I just pulled him to me and kissed him, I cheated on Dave. I went home, and couldn’t hide it from him, somehow Dave knew something had happened, he asked me and I had to tell him the truth and he broke up with me.”

“I’m not really sure how he found out about me and Dave breaking up, but Kurt came to me right after that and begged me to take him back, explaining everything, why everything had happened. He begged me to give him another chance, to take him back, but I just wasn’t ready. I told him that we had broken up twice, there had to be a reason for that, and I told him that for now we needed to stay broken up. I quit my job and moved to California without even telling him goodbye, I just left.”

“I don’t know when it really hit me to be honest, I don’t know if it was after all of our fights, or when Bryce just stopped coming home, but I started really wishing I hadn’t left Lima, left him, I needed him in my life Cooper, I missed my friend. He had forgiven me, he had taken me back after cheating on him, after I had broken his trust, but I couldn’t forgive him for being scared? I couldn’t forgive him even after he told me everything, explained why he did what he did. I cheated and he forgave me, but I couldn’t forgive him for being honest with himself, doing what he thought at the time was the best thing for him.”

“I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to him for hurting him again. Yes he hurt me, but that was partially my fault. If I had not been so insecure in his love for me, if I have gotten on a plane and acted like the man I always pretended to be, if I hadn’t cheated, I don’t think either break up would have happened. Most of the fault is on me”

“Try to cut him a little slack. I love that you love me Cooper and that you are worried about me but I was just as at fault as he was. What I did had consequences in both break ups. Please give him a chance, if not for him than for me. I really love him Cooper, he is the person I know I am meant to spend the rest of my life with, and he makes me happy.” Blaine said looking at him

“So, do you plan on asking Kurt to marry you” Cooper asked him

“No, I don’t think I can do that again. I have been engaged twice and married once, I don’t see myself doing either again, I will happily spend the rest of my life with him, but that…” Blaine answered shaking his head feeling a little sad, because Kurt was the one he had always wanted to be married too, the one he had dreamed of spending his life with.

Thinking back to all the plans they had made curled up on his bed at Dalton, all the things they were going to do, the life they were going to have. Life had seemed so much easier, but now he just didn’t know if he could do it again

In every dream he had ever had, it had always been Kurt. But life has so many twists and turns and sometimes the curve balls thrown at you can’t be avoided. He trusted Kurt with everything he had, but he no longer had the best opinion of marriage.

“Have you told him that” Cooper asked

“No, I am not ready to get into that with him yet” Blaine answered

“Blaine, you know I haven’t been a Kurt fan, but if you love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then don’t shut yourself off. Give it time. I know how things worked out with Bryce but that wasn’t Kurt. If you feel strong enough to let him back into your life, into your daughter’s life, maybe you should wait and make that kind of decision later” Cooper said.

Blaine just laughed a little “You know what is funny, before we left New York he almost said the same thing. Not about marriage but about making important decisions. He said not to make any right now, give myself time to grieve for my friend.”

“Well, he might be smarter than I gave him credit for” Cooper laughed pulling Blaine into a hug “What did the folks say about it”

“To be honest they are fine with it, and are happy for us, and in case you missed it Sere is crazy about him, and he is so good with her” Blaine said with a smile on his face

“Well squirt if you are happy, then I am happy for you. But if he hurts you again, I am going to hurt him. I just need you to understand that Blaine. You have been through too much already” Cooper said sounding and looking very much like the protective older brother he had always been.

“Thanks Coop, but don’t forget he has been hurt too. I am hoping now that we are older we can learn to communicate better. We both know what it feels like to be apart from each other and we know it’s not something we ever want to happen again, life without each other isn’t worth it.” Blaine said with a soft smile on his face

“So where do you go from here. What are your plans” Cooper asked as they walked back in the living room and sat down, Blaine beside Kurt and Cooper across from him.

“I am still working through a lot of that, but I know I want out of California, I want out of that apartment. I don’t even like walking in that door anymore. I went to New York and Coop that apartment is amazing. I am going to sell the one here and I am going to move back to New York. I like the idea of being close to mom and dad and Kurt of course.” Blaine said smiling at Kurt, placing his hand on his knee and gently squeezing it. “I want to get Sere away from all the cameras. It makes me really nervous, having someone in her face all the time.”

“So, you are done with acting then” asked Cooper looking surprised.

“Yeah I’m done. I had already decided that when I went to the people’s choice awards, but since Bryce died and there are so many people all the time following me, I definitely want out. I’m tired of feeling like I’m living in a fish bowl you know. ‘Always’ was fun because I was working with you and Bryce, but towards the end, even that wasn’t as much fun.”

“Unfortunately I have one more commitment I have to do, and then I’m done with all that, I want to go back to a normal life again, whatever that might be.” Blaine answered pulling Sere onto his lap when she starts reaching for him.

“So how is it going with the Mitchell’s have you heard anything more from them” Cooper asked

“Oh yeah, they are going to fight for Sere, they decided that they want custody, I found out from dad they had been having me followed the whole time I was with Bryce, trying to get proof that I was cheating on him, which to me is hilarious since he was the one doing the cheating” Blaine said pulling Sere a little closer to him, holding her a little tighter. She turned around and smiled at him. She somehow always seemed to know when he needed her.

“Ok, we need to head out. We are going to London later today, I need to clean out Shey’s old apartment, dad said her lawyer thinks he knows someone interested in buying it” Blaine said standing up with Sere still in his arms

Cooper walked over to him and pulled Sere into his arms holding her for a few minutes before placing a kiss on her cheek “Take care of daddy for me baby girl, and I’ll see you when you get back” he said handing her back to Blaine “You be careful little brother, and I know it’s hard, but try not to worry you know dad isn’t going to let anything happen to her, we have this” he said pulling Blaine into a hug

“And Kurt, it was good seeing you again” he said looking at Kurt. Cooper was still nervous about him being back in Blaine’s life, but Blaine was an adult and he was the only one who could make that decision.

“It was good seeing you again too Cooper” Kurt said before turning around and heading to the door following Blaine.

They walked outside and Blaine reached down and grabbed Kurt’s hand. It wasn’t something he normally did in public even now, but he just needed to feel the connection with Kurt for a few minutes. Trying to shake the feeling of possibly losing Sere.

When they got to Blaine’s apartment, Kurt feed Sere a bottle while Blaine went into her room to pack a suitcase for her. He decided to only pack enough diapers in her diaper bag to get them to the motel and then he would just buy more there. He wanted to make sure he had enough room for clothes, and her bear that had been given to her by her mother, she wouldn’t sleep without it.

He smiled looking at the picture of Shey and Sere sitting on her little dresser. He had picked it up when they had gone to Shey’s apartment right after she had died. He couldn’t believe just how much his little girl had grown, and changed. He was hoping to find more pictures of Shey and Sere together so that later she would have them, also wanting to take some pictures of her in the apartment she lived in when she was born.

He next went into his room to pack a bag for himself. He cringed just walking through the door. He usually avoided going there except to shower and change clothes. He walked into his closet and pulled out his suitcase and carry on. He carried them both to his bed and opened them up and then went back to his closet and started pulling at the clothes he decided to take with him.

He went into his bathroom next and grabbed out his toiletry bag, making sure all the bottles inside it were full, before grabbing it, his brush and hair product and carrying them back to his room to get them ready to pack in his suitcase. He wasn’t really looking forward to this trip at all. But he knew it was something he needed to do.

As he walked to his dresser, to grab out clean underwear, he noticed the manila envelope still setting on top. He had never even taken the time to open it up. When he had gotten home he had still felt so hurt and raw he just stuck it on his dresser and didn’t think anymore about it. He slowly picked it up and walked over to the bed sitting down on it for the first time since he had left for Morocco. He hadn’t liked even being in this room.

He opened the envelope up and dumped everything in it on the bed, the first thing he saw was Bryce’s wedding ring as it rolled out. He picked it up and looked at it thinking back to when he had snuck out of their motel room to go to the jewelry store to try to find them a ring. He had wanted them to have one to exchange at their wedding. The store didn’t really have what he had been looking for but he figured he would just replace them with something better for their first anniversary. They never even came close.

He stared at the ring, and in that instant he knew that Bryce hadn’t been wearing it the day he died. The watch and necklace he had, had on that morning, the ones he never took off were in a clear plastic baggy keeping them safe, this ring would have been in the baggy with them, if he had.

Looking next at Bryce’s wallet he knew that that was where the ring had normally been kept. Even if it had been taken off for a scene he was in, that didn’t explain why the outside of the wallet had a worn place in the leather. A worn place that was the same size and shape of Bryce’s ring. He probably only ever put it on when he was coming home.  Heaven forbid someone should see the ring on his finger and know he was married.

Blaine looked down at his own hand. His ring was still there, he hadn’t taken it off once since Bryce had put it on him the day they got married. He slowly raised up his hand looking at it one more time before slowly slipping it off his finger, it was time. He didn’t really know what to do with the rings, so for now he decided to just put them in the change bowl he had on his dresser.

He walked back over to the bed and sat down picking up Bryce’s wallet, he ran his finger around the circle indention, shaking his head. So much wasted time he thought with a sigh. He opened up Bryce’s wallet, something he had never done before, he had never even been tempted to look in it. Even now, knowing he was dead, it still felt like an invasion of privacy.

He found a picture of Shey in the very front, it was bent and crinkled like it had been taken it out a lot and looked at. Blaine next found a picture of Bryce and another girl together when they were really young. Blaine figured that was probably Jennifer, she looked really sweet. He found several hundred dollars cash and several credit cards he knew he would need to pass on to Mr. Garrison  to take care of.

What got his attention though was a folded piece of paper in the back of the wallet, it simply said National Bank of Hollywood c639, and he wondered what it meant. There was no other information with it. Something else he needed to check into, he thought sighing again.

Standing up and putting everything back in the envelope, he placed it back on the dresser and walked over to Bryce’s side of the room and for the first time opening his nightstand drawer. He found a key ring with several keys, and found the one for the BMW and Mustang. He sat the key ring on top of the nightstand, and slowly closed the drawer figuring he would look into it later, shaking his head wondering what other secrets he might find in there.

He finished packing and was ready, he wanted to get this over with so he could move on with his life, wondering if he would ever feel normal again.

oOoOo

By the time they landed at Heathrow and had made it through customs Blaine was wishing he had left Sere at home with his mom. Not that her fussing was getting on his nerves, he just knew that she was uncomfortable and it was his fault, he had been selfish bringing her with him in a way.

He had originally planned on leaving her with him mom, she would have been in a familiar location, she would have been comfortable and she would have already been in bed. Blaine had just not been able to leave her. She was changing so much right now, and with everything going on with the Mitchell’s he wanted to spend as much time as he could with her.

When they had gotten off the plane Blaine had put Sere in her stroller, something she normally liked, but not this time. It was passed the time she normally went to bed, she had been confined to a seat for eight long hours and she was over it. He knew she was about to have a meltdown, and he couldn’t blame her.

Blaine pushed the stroller as far to the right side as he could, trying to make sure he wasn’t blocking the walkway and then walked around so he was in front of the stroller and squatted down in front of her. “What’s wrong baby, can you stay in your stroller for a few more minutes for daddy and I’ll get you out” he asked leaning over to kiss her on her forehead.

“Dada” she said and started crying more, her little fist balling up

It broke his heart because he knew this was his fault. “Ok baby, shh daddy will get you out” Blaine reached out and unbuckled her and she almost dove into his arms, he just held her little body tight snuggling his nose into her little neck

“Ok baby daddy has you shh” he whispered in her ear standing up and just holding her for a minute, listening as her little cries turned into hiccups, rubbing his hand up and down her little back, “shh sweet girl, daddy has you” he said rocking her for a few minutes.

When she finally calmed down Blaine slid the diaper bag off of his shoulder and placed it on the seat of the stroller.

“I can push our carry ons if you can handle her and the stroller” Kurt said walking up to them with a soft smile on his face, reaching out to gently rub his hand across Sere’s back

“Thanks Kurt, I know I should have left her home, I just couldn’t do it” Blaine said with a sad smile looking at Kurt

“Hey, nothing to think me for, and you did what you needed to do. If you hadn’t brought her with you, you would have been miserable the whole time, and she probably would have been too. I think once we get her fed and ready for bed she will be fine.” Kurt said leaning over and placing a kiss on first Sere’s cheek and then Blaine’s

“Let’s get through customs, get our luggage and get out of here” Blaine said feeling better. Kurt had always had a way of making everything ok. He wanders for the hundredth time how he had survived without him, never wanting to find out again.

 

A/N: I didn’t get as far into London on this chapter as I thought I would, but Blaine had some issues he needed to deal with first. But they are in London so next up Shey’s apartment. Thanks for reading and all comments are appreciated. thanks