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Observations and Alterations of a Life

Summary:

Cassian's jaw wants to grind out his frustration, his lip to curl in annoyance, but he has not survived this long without mastery over his facial expressions. He is careful to keep his shoulders relaxed as he puts his attention back on the woman across the table from him and lets out a slow, steadying breath.

But none of it means he likes the way Luke Skywalker is watching Jyn.

Chapter 1

Notes:

Okay, this is a fun little story that floated into my head. It is intentionally written in the present tense and with abrupt rhythm changes and time jumps to give it a dream-like/whimsical quality. I'm trying something a little new so thank you for giving it a chance.

Chapter Text

Cassian's jaw wants to grind out his frustration, his lip to curl in annoyance, but he has not survived this long without mastery over his facial expressions. He is careful to keep his shoulders relaxed as he puts his attention back on the woman across the table from him and lets out a slow, steadying breath.

But none of it means he likes the way Luke Skywalker is watching Jyn.

His flat affect is broken when a sharp pain blooms across his shin.

"What's your problem?"

He frowns and sends a halfhearted kick against Jyn's foot in retribution. "The Jedi," he mutters as he lifts his drink, using the motion to hide his lips. "He's watching you."

"Skywalker?" she asks, voice rising in surprise, but doesn't turn around, her face pinched in confusion. "Why?"

On Cassian's right, Bodhi rests his cheek on his chin, and nods his confirmation of Cassian's assessment with a quick glance over. "For an op, maybe?" he offers quietly. "Rumor is they're putting together a rescue for General Solo."

Jyn shrugs one shoulder, her head tilting in consideration. "Hutt cartels are nasty pieces of work. Does sound like something they'd send us on."

Cassian sets down his drink with a bit more force than necessary. "He's not looking at us, he's looking at you," he says before taking care to smooth his voice into the most neutral in his repertoire. "Perhaps his interest is of a more personal nature."

Jyn snorts her ale into her nose, sputtering and coughing before setting her stein down. "You must be joking," she wheezes, and scoffs when he just looks  back at her with furrowed brows.

"Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Rebellion, could pull any number of young pretty things he wants from his throng of admirers." She leans back and gestures from her tousled hair to her muddy boots before lifting the arm that is a topography of scar tissue. Cassian knows there is more under her shirt on that side, just as rough and twisted. He had been the one to pull her behind cover after she caught the edge of an incendiary mine, had been the one to pull aside the burned fabric, and realizing the extent of her injuries, had called for their extraction. "But alas," she continues with a wry grin, "it must be my charming personality that has captivated him so."

It is there, hidden in the way her eyes flick away at that last statement and the way she snaps out her sleeve to cover her forearm, the barest hint of bitterness that has Cassian leaning back in his chair and considering.

There had not been near enough bacta on the ship to prevent her scars completely and he applied the majority to her face and neck, reasoning the depth of her internal jugular vein was unacceptably shallow. The burns hurt but would not kill her immediately. Bleeding out would. Now only the faintest lines peaked over the collar of her shirt to stretch up to her jaw. He follows them over the curve of her clavicle, up the exposed plane of her neck and looks away when she catches him.

It's not the first time she's caught him looking at her with far too much interest. Eight months since Scarif and he is no closer to defining this connection between them; it's a strange thing, all at once too intense and tenuous to be friendship while yet deeper, and threaded with affection, respect, and attraction.

Kriff, he knew why Skywalker would be interested.

Bodhi gives a small grunt of alarm, interrupting the awkward moment, and quickly lifts his drink. "He's walking this way," he mutters behind the rim and Jyn turns to watch the Jedi in black approach before he greets them each with their rank.

"May I sit for a moment?" he asks, waiting politely for them to accept before taking the seat next to Jyn.

"Your necklace," he says, pointing to the crystal that is barely visible at the edge of her collar and Cassian feels his back stiffen, the cybernetics implanted there causing the slightest vibration against his spinal cord, "is quite interesting. Do you know what it is?"

"Yes, I'm sure she's worn it around her neck for eighteen years without knowing what it was," Cassian murmurs dryly though Skywalker does not seem perturbed. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jyn's lip quirk upward.

The Jedi unclips the saber on his belt, holding it out. "A kyber crystal is the heart of the blade. The blade is the heart of the Jedi," he says and Cassian has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Of all the swarmy pick-up lines...

"Is that so?" replies Jyn, her voice carefully neutral, still waiting to see what the man is getting at.

Skywalker nods and pretends to study the weapon. "But one needs to be Force Sensitive to wield it successfully." He looks back up to Jyn and Cassian thinks he might need a few more drinks if this continues much longer... but then the Jedi's face loses the pompous aura and becomes much more intent and Cassian suddenly might be ill for an entirely different reason. "Force-sensitive, like yourself, Sergeant."

Though the cantina buzzes with activity around them, soldiers of all file and rank burning off either restless energy or looking for a moment of respite, it all dims at their little table. Jyn blinks as she examines Skywalker for duplicity, but Cassian knows he speaks the truth, the observation seeming obvious to him now... the way Jyn fights, a flowing ballet of violence that he has more than once stopped to appreciate despite the surrounding danger, the way she sometimes looked blank with wide eyes before grabbing him by the collar to yank him to the side of an incoming blaster bolt... She had brought them through Scarif dragging him to where Bohdi waited with a commandeered shuttle though she could never explain exactly how she knew which had been safe to approach once they were on the beach.

Skywalker just nods slowly, confirming her questioning look. "The Order will need to be rebuilt and I will need students." He rose. "Though I don't see that happening until after the war, please consider my offer in the meantime."

Cassian's eyes flick from his retreating back to Jyn, her hand having slid up to press against her crystal. "Well," she says clearing her throat and shaking her head, "that was something. If you'll excuse me, I think I've had enough for one night."

Giving them both a tight-lipped smile, she flattens her palms on the table to lift herself up. They both watch her go, silent until Bodhi sighs, a noisy, gusty thing that puffs out his cheeks.

"Draven is going to have a shit-fit if Jyn gets a lightsaber," he mutters.

"Forget Draven," Cassian replies, his mind suddenly awash with a vision of a Force enhanced Jyn, two sabers in place of her truncheons as she attacks their enemies. "Maker help the Empire if Skywalker starts her training before the end of the war."