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Jerk in Sheep’s Clothing

Chapter 17: Nighttime Chats

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When Adrien hopped on the balcony as Chat Noir, he saw Marinette was not there.  Pinning his baton to the end, he held the tip and hung off it to peer into her window to see if she was alone.  She was.

She was facing a wall, her back facing him, so he couldn't exactly see what she was doing.  He did a somersault backwards, sticking the landing back on the roof, and knocked on the hatch.

Seconds later, she opened it.  Her face was softly smiling in a way that made his heart sing.  God, why hadn't he noticed sooner how that smile made him feel?

"Chat!  It's good to see you."

"Hey there, Princess.  Mind if I drop in?"

She shook her head.  "Not at all.  You're always welcome in here."
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Marinette was glad to see Chat Noir.  It had been weeks since his last visit, which was unusual for him.  Usually, he came to her balcony for baked goods and heart-to-heart talks at least once a week.

But then again, Chat was going through something in his personal life.

Sure, he hadn't said anything to her, as Ladybug or Marinette, but she had seen something change in him.  He had stopped flirting and joking during missions and patrols, and he hadn't made a single pun in weeks.  That might have been a good thing, having him focus more on the task at hand.

Except that it wasn't the lack of playful banter that bothered her.  He seemed to have lost that fire in him, that mischievous spark that made him, him.  He was sadder, less confident, his leaps and stunts had less energy, and he rarely ever smiled anymore, and even when he did, it felt strained.  He was basically a shell of his former self.

Once upon a time, Ladybug had been annoyed by his constant comedic attempts and endless romantic pursuit of her.  Now, she would give anything to have him flirt with her again, to hear one of his cheesy puns, to see the light in his eyes again.

Marinette moved to let him through into her room.  Closing the hatch, she walked over.  "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Sorry about that, Princess.  I've been going through a lot lately."

He didn't notice Marinette's sad look.  "You must have been.  Your visits usually run like clockwork.  Is...Is everything okay?  In your civilian life?"

He looked a little nervous at that question, like a criminal who had caught in the act. "Everything's fine, Princess. Nothin' I can't handle."

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

"If I wanted to talk about my problems, I'd ask my kwami. I came here because I wanted to talk about you. I missed you."

Marinette wanted more, but decided it was better not to pry. "Okay..."
———————-
Part of Chat Noir wanted to vent everything to Marinette. He wanted to tell her the whole story, without going into too much detail, lest she connect the dots figure out his identity. But that would be wasting valuable time. He had come here with a mission—to get Marinette's side of the story.

"So! Did I catch you in the middle of something?"

She walked past him and picked up a cardboard box. "Nah, I was just getting rid of a few things." She held it out to him. "You can help if you want. Just hold this by me while I clear out my drawers."

Adrien took the box from her and nodded. Then he looked inside it and flinched at what he saw. It was full of photographs from different slots in time, the only thing linking them together was Alya's face in every one of them. Among her photos were random objects and trinkets, which Chat bet were gifts that Marinette had received from her over the years.

"Can I ask why you're getting rid of these?", he said as he walked over to Marinette, who was rummaging through her drawers, no doubt looking for any remaining gifts and items that Alya had given her, to discard them in the box with the rest of them.

"It's a long story, Chat.", she sighed, finding a beaded friendship bracelet and tossing it carelessly into the box like it was no more than a snotty tissue.

"Take all the time you need, Princess.", he assured her. "I'm all pointed ears."

She stopped and giggled, her laughter like the faint jingling of silver bells. Then her smile faded. She kept silent for a moment, then finally spoke.

"I lost my best friend today."

Chat's ears drooped. "Really?"

"Her name is Alya Césaire. You remember her, right? The Ladyblogger?"

Chat nodded. "I remember her. What happened between you two?"

"Well, today I got a video message from an anonymous person. It was her, ranting about me, slam-talking about me behind my back. The gist of it was that she thinks I'm a creepy lovesick hypocrite who acts out of jealousy. Well, I couldn't be friends with someone who thinks of me that way."

Chat bit his lip. "That sounds bad. But...are you sure that's how she really sees you? I've seen her around you while on missions. How she defends you, always worries about your safety when there's an akuma around. I don't think she'd feel that way if she didn't care. I'm sure they just caught her at a bad moment. Did you do anything to upset her beforehand?"

Marinette looked uncertain. "Well...there is the matter of me believing my boyfriend over her."

"Boyfriend, huh? Might I have the name of the noble knight who's swept Princess off her feet?" Chat tried to sound natural when he called Henri "the noble knight". LeRoi was anything but noble.

"His name is Henri LeRoi. And he's the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful boy I've ever met!", Mari gushed, a dreamy smile on her face. "He's a perfect gentleman, and he treats me like a queen!"

Chat had to force himself to smile. "Sounds great, Princess. But...back to Alya...you said you believed your BF over your BFF. Why? I mean, I always thought the girl code was 'sisters before misters'."

"Usually that is the case. But for some reason, Alya doesn't like Henri. Neither does the rest of the class. They keep giving him either a hard time or a cold shoulder, and then they get mad at me when I stick up for him, accusing me of defending a bully."

She shook her head and went on, her voice now laced with such a poison that Adrien never thought her capable of using. "It's ridiculous! Henri has never done anything to them! They know how important he is to me, and they won't even give him a chance to prove himself. Even Alya, my so-called best friend, starting spreading lies about him! That, combined with hearing how she really sees me, makes me wonder how I could have misjudged her so badly! And she won't even admit that she's wrong! I thought sh3 was my friend!"

Chat Noir placed the box aside, looking at Marinette softly. "She is your friend, Mari. Look, I'm not saying it was okay for her to say all those things, but she was mad. You took Henri's word over hers. Of course she's gonna get upset. And I think we both know how impulsive Alya can be. I'm sure she didn't really mean what she said."

Marinette glared at him, making him shrink back a tad. "Why are you defending her?"

Chat sighed heavily. "Because I made the same mistake for the same reasons."
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Marinette's anger gave way to curiosity and concern at Chat's remark. "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

Chat sat on her bed, looking drained. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this...but I have been kinda snarky to Ladybug at times when she rejected me. First during Glaciator, then during Frozer. I acted out of hurt and said things I didn't mean. Looking back, I'm ashamed of how I acted. I've thought about apologizing to Ladybug for it, but I'm too scared to. I'm afraid to even bring it up. I'm lucky she didn't hold it against me."

Hearing that made Marinette happy. She had quickly forgiven Chat for his less-than-gracious reactions to her rejections. She knew that it wasn't really who he was deep down. He had already proven his character to her over and over again by risking his life for her, and never breaking her trust to find out her secret identity himself, even though he had had plenty of opportunities to, like in the closet after Lady WiFi, or during Dark Owl's trap.

Nevertheless, it was good to hear him confess his guilt anyway, and explain that he did want to say sorry, he was just afraid to stir up bad memories. "You should bring it up to her. Even if it hits a nerve, she'd be glad to hear your apology."

Chat smiled, the frowned and continued. "But...the reason I'm trying to get you to see Alya's perspective...is because I was in her position once."

Marinette stared at him blankly as he went on.

"It goes without saying that I trust Ladybug. But I don't think anyone understands just how much I trust her. But she does. I've thrown myself in front of akumas for her. I've taken multiple hits for her so she could complete the mission. I've literally died for her!"

He stared at her with glassy eyes. "No one knows this...but one time, I was falling off a building in my civilian form. The only way to save myself was to transform, but I knew I couldn't, because I was in public and doing so would have blown my cover. Luckily, I knew Ladybug would save me, and she did."

Marinette was horrified. "Chat, you should have transformed! There was no guarantee Ladybug would save you! I'm sure she would have understood!"

"But that's just it, Marinette.", he said softly. "Even though I knew I had a good reason, even though I knew she'd forgive me for blowing my cover, even though there was no guarantee, I didn't transform, because I trusted Ladybug to catch me when I fell."

His eyes were glassy. "Don't you see? My trust for Ladybug goes so far and so deep I would risk falling to my death because I know she'll save everyone in the end, including me."

Marinette's eyes filled with tears. She had known Chat trusted her a lot, but she had had no idea just how deep his trust went before now. He could have died, but he still believed in her so much that he was willing to put his own life in the line, trusting to save him, to keep his identity safe. She wondered which falling civilian he had been. She had saved so many people from falling to death that the options were endless.

"When Rena Rogue first came along, I was happy to get a new friend. But I was kinda upset that Ladybug knew her secret identity and not me. And when I asked, she just told me it was a secret. And that...that really hurt. She always promised me that I mattered to her, that we were equals. But when she just locked me out of the loop like that, it felt like she had lied to me. I mean, if I was so important, why didn't she trust me enough to tell me the important stuff? If we were equals, how come she was allowed to know RR's secret identity and I wasn't?"

Marinette shrank back, ashamed. She admitted, she still harbored guilt for that, because he had a valid point. She had always assured him that he was irreplaceable, that she was no higher than he was, but now that there was an important secret, she hadn't been able to let him in. "I can see why you're upset...it felt like she didn't trust you."

Chat Noir sighed again. "Well, it turns out she did trust me. She was just keeping me out of the loop because someone asked her to. Can't tell you who, that's hero confidential. But I didn't know that at the time. I didn't know she was keeping secrets on behalf of someone else. I didn't even know someone else was involved. Just her. As far as I knew, she was choosing not to tell me of her own accord, because she didn't trust me enough."

He hung his head low. "It really hurt. It felt like our whole partnership was based on a lie. She always told me that we were a team, but now it looked like she couldn't trust me when it came to the important stuff. I'd shown her over and over again that I trusted her with my life, but now it looked like she didn't even trust me half as much."

The tears were running down her face now. Shame gripped coldly at her heart. She had never realized the full extent of how Chat had been hurt, being left in the dark, thinking that it was her own choice not to trust him, despite the fact that his own trust in her was limitless. She remembered how it had hurt when her friends had shown to not trust her enough to listen to her about Lila, even though she would have done the same to them, and her heart broke at the thought that she had put Chat through the same thing.

He looked at her. "Anyway...I admit, I reacted badly. During the Syren fiasco, I almost even gave up being Chat Noir, because I was tired of being in a partnership where I wasn't trusted, where I felt like the expendable one. Luckily, it all worked out, but...that doesn't mean I don't regret it."

His eyes were soft now. "The point is, Marinette, everyone has their bad moments. Lots of people act out out of hurt and anger, especially teenagers like me and Alya. They do not nice things because they're upset. That doesn't mean they don't feel any remorse afterwards."

Marinette shook her head. "Chat...you had every right to be upset at Ladybug. Sure, it wasn't her who didn't trust you, but from your eyes, that's what it looked like. You trust her blindly, to the point where you'd literally die for her. Of course you'd be mad that that doesn't go both ways."

"It's okay, Princess. I'm over it now."

"But it must have been horrible. I bet if you were one in the loop, you wouldn't have kept her in the dark like that. You would have trusted her with your secrets. You're friends, and you've proved yourself, your character to her over and over again, showing that you trusted her completely. But when the time came for her to trust you, it looked like she didn't even take you with a grain of salt! What kind of friendship is that, where someone doesn't trust you, even though you've stood by them, promised to do the same for them, only to have them turn away from you! It's awful! And I should know!"
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Chat stared at her. He had come here to get answers. And it looked like he had just struck at gold there. "How would you know what that's like, Princess?"

Marinette wiped her tears on her sleeve. "I guess I should start from the beginning. There's this girl, she came back to our class a while ago, before Henri transferred. Her name is Lila Rossi. I'm sure you heard of her. There's a video of her on the Ladyblog, bragging about being Ladybug's best friend."

Chat nodded. So Lila did have something to do with Marinette's behavior. He needed more details. "Yeah, I heard of her. What does she have to do with anything?"

Marinette sat on her bed. "Well, considering she's boasting about being BFFs with you and Ladybug, I think you already know she's a big fat liar. I mean, it's so obvious! Did you know that she once claimed that she saw a napkin pierce out an eye?"

Chat looked at her funny. "A napkin? Seriously? That's the dumbest thing ?I've ever heard! What kinda moron would believe that baloney?!"

Then, he saw that Marinette had deflated.

"My class, apparently.", she said sadly. "She's got all of them twisted around her finger. She could say the sun is purple, and they'd believe her entirely! I'm the only one who can see through her lies and is willing to call her out on them. And that's why she hates me."

Chat blinked at her. "What makes you think she hates you?"

"Well, she threatened me in the bathroom, so..."

Adrien went into shock. "She what?"

Marinette looked at him. "The day she came back, I tried to call her out on her lies because she was faking injuries and making false promises to hook people up with celebrity connections. She claims to know rockstars and princes and movie directors and all sorts of stars and idols. She always tells people that she'll introduce them to someone famous or recommend them for something awesome so that they'll fawn over her."

"She also pretends to have injuries from doing great things so that people will give her what they want. At lunch, she pretended her ankle was hurt so that her classmates would bring lunch to her. And she lied about having tinnitus so she could sit next to a boy she liked. And even now, she still fakes injuries and makes up excuses so that people will carry her stuff or take notes for her in class. She even got Max to do her homework for her by telling him she was busy with some made-up charity!"

Adrien's heart jolted. At first, he though Lila had been lying to get attention from her peers, so they would warm up to her, because she was the new kid and hence, kinda of on the outside. He knew what that felt like, so he sympathized with her and stayed silent.

But from he was hearing, it seemed less like Lila just wanted to be accepted by her classmates and more like she wanted to use them. She was faking injuries and making promises of things that would never be to get them to do her favors and worship her like a goddess.

He gulped recalling what he had said to Marinette after the Chameleon Crisis. Her lies aren't hurting anyone, he had told her. If he had had the information back then that he did now, he would have never said those things.

"I was just looking out for my friends!", cried Marinette, bringing him out of his thoughts. "I didn't want to see them manipulated! I didn't want to let Lila get away with treating them like her minions! But when I tried to tell them that she was lying, they..." She choked on a sob. "They didn't believe me. They accused me of being jealous, of bullying her out of spite."

Adrien's body turned to lead. He now knew what she had meant earlier about being hurt over unreturned trust. Marinette had done so much for her friends, stood up for them, believed in them. But when it was their turn to return the favor, when she had needed support, they had bailed on her, writing her word off as petty jealousy.

"After that, Lila cornered me in the bathroom and told me that if I didn't back off trying to free my friends from her influence, she'd turn them all against me.  And over the months...it was looking like she was making good on her promise."

Chat's blazing green eyes were wide as he stared at her, her story bringing flashes of Henri's threat to him on the day he'd shown his true colors to the class.  Oh God, was this the universe sending some sort of karma?

"Isn't there anyone else who saw through her?  There had to be someone who believed you!"

She looked up for a moment.  "Well..there was one person.  You know Adrien Agreste?"  She stopped, then rolled her eyes.  "Wait, what am I saying?  Of course you know him!  Everyone knows him!  Well...he's in the same class, and he's really nice, but...if I'm being completely honest...he's kind of a doormat."

Chat blinked twice. "What do you mean?"

"He asked me not to tell anyone that Lila was lying. He told me she wasn't hurting anyone."

"Did you tell him she threatened you?"

"No..."

"Why not? I'm sure he would have done something if he knew the whole story."

Marinette sighed. "You're more certain than I am."

Chat flinched at her words. "You don't think he'd stand up for you?"

Marinette shook her head. "I mean, it's not that he isn't a nice guy. He is! In fact...that's kinda the problem. He's too nice. That's why I didn't tell him. I didn't trust him enough to do anything. I know he's lonely and he tries really hard but..." She trailed off.

Chat swallowed the lump in his throat. "But?"

Marinette looked at her bare feet. "But...he's not very reliable as a friend."

Her words were like a punch to the gut.

She turned back to her drawers and went on rummaging through them as she talked. "It's not that he flakes on our outings on his own will, that's his dad's doing. I just can't depend on him to stand up for me or anyone else when we're being bullied."

She picked up a paper heart and crushed it in her fist, her posture and face clearly trying to suppress frustration. "In fact, Adrien is more likely to side with the bully."

"What?!" Her remark felt like a slap to the face. "I-I'm sure that's not true!"

She turned back at him, eyes hard. "Trust me, it is.", she said dryly. "You know Chloé Bourgeois, the mayor's daughter?"

Chat nodded, a sense of dread forming at the bottom of his stomach.

"She and Adrien are best friends. They grew up together. Normally, that would be super sweet, but with those two, it's toxic. Chloé is the class bully. She torments the whole class mercilessly. She's always saying mean things about everyone and trying to get in them trouble. And not only does Adrien just sit by and let her do this, he always tries to calm them down by saying that Chloe's not that bad and that we should be the bigger person. But if we try to lash back at her or stand up for ourselves, he gets upset at us for attacking her."

"Even if she makes someone cry, he just brushes her behavior off as if it didn't hurt. Well, maybe he doesn't understand how much it hurts because he's never been bullied before. He's never had anyone insult him or push him around, making him feel bad about himself. He sticks up for Chloé when she's attacked, but he won't do the same for us, even though we're just seeking retribution for our pain."

"Maybe he just wants to give her the motivation to change. Do you really think she'll want to become better if she thinks everyone is already against her?"

"Do you think she'll know how to become better of she's never punished or told when she's wrong?", asked Marinette. "How is she supposed to learn from her mistakes if she never faces the consequences?"

Adrien's heart sank. He had never thought about it that way.

Marinette fiddled with her fingernails. "Honestly...sometimes I wonder if Chloé reven can change. Sure, she shows a glimpse of niceness every now and then, but it only lasts like a day! After that, she snaps back to her old rotten self! Even when she's Queen Bee! She doesn't do it because she wants to help others! She only does it for the fame and glory! Just like when she derailed that train so she could 'save' it! You know my parents and I were on that train?"

"What?!" He knew now.

"We were on that train when Chloé sabotaged it.", Marinette explained, staring at her knees. "If Ladybug had gotten there in time, we could have been seriously hurt or even killed, like so many others on it. But did she care about that? No! She only cared about getting praise as a hero, and when my friends and I didn't give it to her, she took it out on us! She treats us like dirt for years, then she expects us to worship her for fixing a situation she caused? And when we didn't dance to her tune, she threw a tantrum for a two-year-old!"

"And yet, when we were doing happy dances over Chloé moving away to America, what did Adrien do? He shamed us. He shamed me. He said it was awful of us for celebrating Chloé being gone. He actually had the nerve to make me feel guilty for being happy that my long-time bully was gone."

"Well...wasn't it a little mean that you were all partying over the fact that someone you knew was leaving because she didn't feel wanted?" Chat asked this with uncertainty in his voice.

Marinette huffed. "Okay, sure, maybe we were a little over-the-top with our celebration, but I think we had a right! For years—years, Chat!—Chloé walked all over us, humiliated us, made us feel bad about ourselves, used her dad's status to get away with ruining our lives! Adrien knew all this...and he still looked down at me and our friends for being glad that we were finally rid of her."

Adrien felt numb as he recalled those events. "I...I see your point."

"And that's why I never told him the whole truth about Lila.", Marinette sniffled, wiping at her nose. "When he asked me to take the high road, I kept my mouth shut because I thought it might not matter to him if she threatened me. I thought maybe he was right, that she would lie herself into a corner eventually. But even if she dies, what Adrien doesn't realize is that lies really do hurt. Not instantly, but over time, they do. They can ruin trust and weaken relationships. But I didn't tell him that because I thought there was no point. I thought he'd just tell me to give her another chance, that he'd be disappointed in me for even wanting to expose Lila in the first place."

Marinette toyed with one of her pigtails. "I mean, I get that Adrien wants to believe that there's good in everyone! In fact, it's one of my favorite things about him! But there are limits! Some people just don't want to change! And others are just plain bad! But Adrien acts like he lives in a fairytale world where all you have to do is show someone kindness and friendship and poof! They'll change their ways, no matter how rotten they are in the first place. That's not how it always works. Sometimes it does, but not always. In fact, they might become even worse!"

Chat sputtered at this. "Worse?! How so?!"

Marinette rubbed her forehead. "Well, if the bullies think that people will be nice to them no matter what, they'll start thinking they can do whatever they want, and not have to worry about losing their friendships or any kindness from others! So they start being as nasty as they can because they always have that one friend like Adrien to fall back on when everyone else turns on them!"

Adrien flinched. "I...I never thought of it like that."

Marinette fell onto her swivel chair. "Neither has Adrien, apparently. He's always making excuses for Chloé, defending and minimizing her behavior. I'm just worried that if he keeps it up, he'll be the one who loses friends."

This thought terrified Adrien. "What?! How so?!"

"It's bad enough he lets Chloé get away with her bratty behavior. But now he's letting all his friends be lied to, letting Lila get away with toying with their feelings and their dreams to manipulate them into doing her bidding. Even if Adrien right and Lila does get caught in her own lies, how do you think everyone will feel when they find out he knew the whole time and never even tried to warn them? They'll think that he was okay with them being deceived! That, added to his history with Chloé...everyone will believe he values the feelings of bullies and liars over the feelings of his friends! And who wants to be friends with someone who would stand by and let their friend be bullied or lied to?"

Marinette grew sad. "I know he's a good guy, and I get that Chloe's his friend and all, but he doesn't do something, anything, to show that he's on our side, eventually, everyone in class will decide they don't want to be friends with him anymore. I mean, who wants to be friends with someone who takes the bully's side over theirs?"

Adrien's heart broke. He had been so worried about losing Chloe's friendship if he didn't stand up for her. But he never thought that by doing so, he could lose all his other friendships with the class. Then he'd be back to where he had been before going to public school.

"But...what does that have to do with Lila? I mean, it makes sense he'd stand up for Chloé! She's his oldest friend! But what makes you think that he'd defend Lila's behavior? Besides, Lila sounds way worse than Chloe! Spreading lies, threatening people...I mean, Chloé might be nasty, too, but at least she has the guts to be nasty to people's face and not behind their backs."

Marinette sat on her bed, thinking it all over. "I dunno...I just felt like I couldn't tell whether or not he'd care. After all, he said she's not hurting anyone, even though he knew that Lila was making false promises to Nino and Alya, and tricking our teacher to get perks, even putting her job at risk! How is that not hurting anyone?"

Adrien gulped for the tenth time that night.

Marinette finally smiled a little. "I guess...that's why I was so happy when Henri came along. After all my friends shutting me out...and not knowing whether or not Adrien was really on my side...it was nice to have someone who automatically believed me, who actually stood by me and made sure I didn't feel alone."

Adrien felt like puking. Oh no...this was all his fault. If he had been more reliable, Marinette would have trusted him enough to tell him about Lila's threats and bullying. Then he could have helped her expose Lila, or if not, at the very least, made sure she didn't feel so alone all those months.

Marinette had been lonely, desperate for a companion, someone who would stand by her twenty-four-seven, and not just when it fit with his father's schedule. She had been easy prey for Henri, who had swooped in to fulfill that role. It must have been so effortless for him, with her sad state, to poison her already doubtful mind against her friends.

Chat looked at her sadly as he sat next to the bed. "Do you really believe all the things he said? About your friends? Do you really believe they're as mean as Henri says they are?"

Marinette looked at him, her eyes shining with tears. "Chat...I used to believe a lot of things. I used to believe Alya would always have my back. I used to believe that Nino would always be there for me. I used to believe that I actually mattered to my class."

"It's not that I don't want to believe that my friends are good people. It's just that in the past few months, they've proven to me otherwise. I understood kind of when they attacked me for attacking Lila, for thinking I was bullying her. But now they're attacking Henri. And why?"

She blinked back tears.  "I just...I know what it's like to have everyone against you, to attack you for no reason.  I just want to give Henri the love and support that I didn't get, to protect him the way no one protected me."

Chat Noir looked absolutely deflated at her words. "I'm sorry."

Her brow wrinkled. "What are you sorry for? It's not your fault."

But it is., thought Adrien. He had inadvertently created this mess. Now he had to fix it.