Chapter 1: Prologue
fis·sure a long, narrow opening or line of breakage made by cracking or splitting, especially in rock or earth.
Chloe Decker sobbed until her body shook from shear exhaustion. She managed to stumble to Lucifer’s bedroom where she collapsed among his rumpled bed sheets. The smell that was uniquely him lingering all around her was both a comfort and a curse. She grabbed one of his pillows and buried her face in it.
He was gone. He loved her. He was gone. He loved her. He was gone.
It was possible she may never see him again. Her chest felt as though it were caving in.The pain was overwhelming and there were just too many thoughts to process. She kicked off her shoes, stripped out of her clothing and cocooned herself within the silk sheets.
She had somehow managed to get her shaking hands under control long enough to send Maze a message that she would be staying at Lucifer’s and would explain everything further tomorrow. Had she texted Dan to make sure Trixie was okay? Yes, a message from Maze had confirmed that Trixie was with her, Linda and Charlie and she was fine. Chloe was definitely not getting any nominations for mother of the year tonight.
How was she going to explain Lucifer’s absence to her daughter? To everyone not on team Celestial? It wasn’t as if she could just tell everyone that he had returned to Hell to prevent a demon uprising. They would toss her into the wacky shack faster than she could say H-e-l-l.
Right now, she didn’t want to think about any of that. She just wanted to pretend that laying naked in Lucifer’s bed was somehow going to make things better. She hoped it was something that the two of them would have eventually experienced together. His bed would be a place where they would have brought each other pleasure, expressed their feelings for one another and for Chloe a place where she could fall asleep safe and sound in the Devil’s arms.
The tears finally stopped when there wasn’t any left to cry. She shivered beneath the covers not sure if it was from the cold or if her body had taken on this new state of violent trembling. She wrapped the comforter around herself holding tightly with both hands. It was dark in the entire penthouse. When had she turned off the lights?
She found herself laying in the quiet- too quiet wide awake her heartbeat thundering in her ears.
“Why?” she yelled into the pitch black of the room. The sound of her voice echoed off the walls.
“I love Lucifer!” she said the words hoping for some magical fairy tale response from God himself. As if he would he would send him back to her. As if she even deserved that.
She shouted her feelings of sorrow and guilt- for the wasted time, for not believing in her partner, for trying to send him back to Hell; until her throat was raw and her voice was hoarse.
“I don’t know if we would have had a future together, but now I’ll never get the chance to find out,” her voice dropped to a whisper. “If things were different. If we were just two ordinary people-,”
She took a deep breath, “I’d give anything to see him again in this lifetime.”
It started to rain outside the heavy downpour finally calming her enough to sleep. She laughed to herself remembering a conversation she had had with Lucifer about how his father didn’t control the weather.
It was foolish to think God would be listening to her anyway. Lucifer always complained about how his father never listened.
The tears started again but the shaking had finally stopped. She was thankful for that. Chloe hoped for peaceful dreams because starting tomorrow her life was going to be significantly different without Lucifer in it.
Chloe was awakened by the sound of a dog barking. A dog barking? Lucifer didn’t have a dog. She was sure she had closed the balcony doors last night so the sound couldn’t be coming from outside. Was someone else in the penthouse?
Chapter 2: One
Into the "dream" we go.
I am so sorry this has taken me so long. Between the run away muses, health issues, and well the craziness of life in general it has been difficult to sit down and update this.
Thank you so much for your comments my wonderful readers! I appreciate all of your feedback! This one will get crazy at times. So enjoy the ride.
Chloe was awakened by the sound of a dog barking. A dog barking? Lucifer didn’t have a dog. She was certain she had closed the balcony doors last night so the sound couldn’t be coming from outside. Was someone else in the penthouse?
She started to gather the bedding to hide her state of undress to find that she wasn’t naked at all. She was wearing comfy 2-piece pajamas. The sheets she had fallen asleep under were no longer silk. They were a soft cotton blend, like the ones on her bed at home.
Had she gone home last night? No, she had fallen asleep at the Penthouse in Lucifer’s bed. That was the only place she had wanted to be after she had said goodbye to the Devil she loved so deeply.
The sun was streaming through a nearby window prompting Chloe to shield her eyes as she looked around. Not only was she not in her bed or at the penthouse, she was in a room she didn’t recognize at all. The room was spacious, decorated well in shades of gray, plum and gold. The dark cherry furniture; large his and hers dressers, nightstands, and an armoire were beautiful and looked custom made. She had no idea who any of it belonged to or how she had ended up there. It was all so overwhelming.
She sat up in the bed, threw her legs over the side of the mattress and made her way over to a coordinating full-length mirror just a few steps across the room. Chloe studied herself carefully. Same blue eyes. Same honey blonde hair. There was a slight wave to it, but her hair often had a mind of its own in the morning. She squinted in the mirror as if she were looking for answers that would suddenly appear in her reflection. There were none. There wasn’t even evidence that she had spent the night crying. Her skin was neither red nor puffy. The deep circles she had been chasing with additional concealer since her return from Europe had even vanished. For someone who was completely and utterly devastated the night before she felt pretty good, actually. Well rested. She could even say, refreshed.
The dog barked again. This time the sound was closer; as if the dog was approaching,
Chloe immediately recognized the voice of the person making his way towards the room she was in. She turned from the mirror her eyes landing on the door.
“That is quite enough now.”
She would know that voice anywhere, Lucifer. It was Lucifer! The room was Lucifer’s?
But where were they and more importantly, how did SHE get there? Lucifer was in Hell. Was this Hell? No, it couldn’t be. Could it? She never pictured a room as beautiful as this in Hell. Maybe this was somewhere in between? A way for them to still see each other?
Whatever it was, they could worry about details later.
The door to the bedroom creaked open as the excited dog made her way inside. Before Chloe knew it, the large dog had playfully chased her back to the bed and knocked her back to the matress. The dog then climbed on top of Chloe excitedly and began licking her face. Chloe found herself up close and personal with Delilah the German Shepherd.
“Uh, hi… Delilah,” she affectionately patted the dog on her head, smiled and laughed while the German Shepherd greeted her. Chloe tried not to think about how strange it was that Lucifer had a dog especially one he named after his departed friend. Had it not been for Delilah’s death and that first case she and Lucifer would never have met.
The bedroom door opened a second time revealing a tall dark curly haired Lucifer who was wearing faded blue t-shirt that said, ‘LA city school’s soccer proudly sponsored by LUX Construction’ and a pair of sweat pants.
“We really have to be more strict with her love, she’s just a pup now but what happens when she gets bigger? Down, Delilah.”
Chloe just stared at Lucifer and tried to make sense of things. Lucifer owned sweatpants? A t-shirt sponsoring soccer that said Lux Construction.
The curly haired Devil cracked up laughing and casually plopped down onto the bed after praising the dog for remaining on the floor.
“Chloe darling, I think perhaps you imbibed a bit too much with your friends last night. The last time you called me that awful Uni nickname was when you were in labor with Sam and that over a year ago.”
She and Lucifer had a child together? Lucifer wasn’t Lucifer? Maybe this was Hell after all? Or maybe someone’s idea of a joke?
“I was going to bring him in, but he is downstairs with Gabe and Johnny. They’re making you breakfast in bed,” he explained.
“What about Trixie?”
Not Lucifer looked at her strangely. “Chloe, darling who is Trixie?”
Chloe laughed because of course Trixie wasn’t here. Another theory- she was fast asleep in the REAL Lucifer’s bed and in the middle of one crazy nightmare. This was the way her subconscious was dealing with Lucifer returning to Hell. It was like that time she ate 3-day old Lo Mein Noodles from China Gardens at 4am.
And her brain had conjured up a version of Lucifer for her to talk to, be with, apparently have children with…?
“Mmm hmm.” Not Her Lucifer looked at her as if she had several heads.
“The name has just been in my dreams a few times,” she shrugged.
“Interesting. Were you dreaming you were in a strip club?” he grinned at her cheekily. “You know Trixie sounds like a hooker’s name.”
It was good to know that Lucifer was still Lucifer no matter what shock she was going through.
“LUC-“, she stopped herself from scolding him. She could hear him saying “Beatrice” in her head as she spoke.
“It’s short for Beatrice. It was my great grandmother’s name. She was an actress like my mother, but she loved the stage. Everyone called her Trixie. She was this amazing storyteller. I always wanted to name my little girl after her.”
Not even Dan knew that. She had pretended to pick Beatrice out of a baby name book and then she and Dan agreed to call their baby daughter Trixie.
Not Her Lucifer nodded as if he were absorbing the information. He then raised his eyebrows and moved closer. “19, 8, 16 months. You did say that you wanted to keep trying until we had a girl,” he wrapped his arms around her like holding her closely was the most normal thing in the world.
Chloe grinned trying her best not to let this new information ‘Not Her Lucifer’ had shared to show on her face. Three kids. Three. They had three kids and Not Her Lucifer wanted another one?
His hand moved to her stomach. “I’m up for another try, if you are.”
Chloe laughed him off. Of course, he was because this was a dream or Hell or a stroke. She still wasn’t sure where she’d landed on that one just yet.
But…Lucifer a father?
Ha! Lucifer made it very clear that he was not a fan of children. “Terrible taxing burdens.”
Although, he did have a nephew now and he had come a long way with Trixie… Nope. Not going there Chloe. You are dreaming and besides Lucifer is not really here. You will probably never see him again.
This version her dream Devil- as different as he may be he was easy to get caught up in. He smelled just like her Lucifer. He looked just like her Lucifer, except for his wild untamed curly hair and casual clothing. He even felt like her Lucifer. He may have been a Dad, but there was nothing Dad about his bod. He had the same fit physique and tanned skin. She suspected these muscles were built by hard labor and the tan by days in the sun (if his Lux Construction shirt was any indication) and not body by Celestial intervention.
She wanted to get her fingers through those curls, press her body against his long lean one and trace each and every one of his muscles with her fingertips.
Chloe relaxed in Not Her Lucifer’s embrace her eyes immediately filling with tears. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his beating heart. Last night came back to her in flashes from watching him rise up over demons as the King of Hell in all his Devil glory to their goodbye at the Penthouse. The tears came with the realization that she would never get to experience everything she was currently thinking outside the dream she was in.
“Chloe darling, are you alright? You’re crying?”
She nodded, sliding into his lap with a need to be closer. She brought her hands to the sides of his face and looked deeply into a pair of worried dark brown eyes.
This wasn’t her Lucifer, but she could take comfort in him anyway. Couldn’t she? If it was only a dream. What was the worst that could happen?
“I love you so much,” her voice filled with emotion.
Not Her Lucifer lifted his hands to her face. “And I love you, my darling Chloe until the end of time. Every day I fall deeper in love with you. Just like in our wedding vows, I will cherish you always.” He wiped her tears.
Chloe’s breath caught in throat. Did her Lucifer feel the same?
“You are one of the most precious things that has ever come into my life. Happy Birthday.”
The tears flowed freely now. His words were so beautiful. She blinked to clear her vision. A glance at their hands folded on top of one another was further proof that they were indeed married. They both wore onyx bands on their ring fingers.
And it was her birthday.
This was something she could see herself wanting with Lucifer. In a perfect world where demons weren’t threatening to take over and Trixie existed, she could see herself marrying the Devil. Bringing the anti-Christ into the world that would be an even longer discussion.
While trying to find the words to reply the door swung open once more to reveal two very excited children and a tall sandy haired adult who was the spitting image of her father John Decker. She swallowed hard and reminded herself to play along.
Johnny this had to be Johnny- was balancing an adorable toe headed toddler on his hip. Sam that was the baby, Sam. Gabe the middle child had a dark curly mop of hair and wore the biggest smile on his face. He held a tray in his hands that seemed to be too much for him.
Not Her Lucifer rose from the bed carefully sliding Chloe out of his lap. “Gabriel let me give you a hand with that, son.” They placed the tray on the night table closest to her.
Johnny set Sam on the bed and the toddler immediately bounced towards Chloe. Johnny, Gabe and Not Her Lucifer climbed up joining Sam.
“One, Two Three,” Not Lucifer grabbed something off the tray and placed a lit candle in the center.
The boys sang a rousing rendition of the Birthday song complete with the baby echoing the few words he knew and parroting some sounds he didn’t.
Chloe blew out the candle excitedly and Sam giggled while the rest of her audience cheered.
“Happy Birthday Mommy!” Gabe said throwing his arms around her. Johnny helped me make you breakfast and Dad helped us make the lemon bars. Sam watched because well he’s just a baby.”
The baby in question had flung himself into Chloe’s lap. He looked up at her with big blue eyes.
“Thank you guys so much! This was so sweet! You boys did a great job on this breakfast and the lemon bars.”
“Oh-ee,” Sam climbed all over her.
Chloe looked at Not Her Lucifer for some idea of what the toddler was saying.
Not Lucifer sighed. “Gabe, what did your mother and I tell you about teaching your brother new words?”
“Dad you always say it’s important to know our parent’s names in case of emergency. Chloe Decker Morningstar and Luke Samuel Morningstar.”
“Ooke Ooke!” Sam repeated.
Not Her Lucifer. So Lucifer’s name was Luke in her dream land just like when he had gone under cover with Pierce. Good to know.
Luke sighed, “What happened to Mama, Dada?”
“Or John-ny. There is nothing wrong with teaching him Johnny.” The oldest child grinned.
Chloe chuckled. Being an only child she never experienced sibling rivalry. Apparently her children, the children she and Luke Morningstar created were an excellent example.
“Mama.” Sam said with a grin. He climbed down and reached for the food on the tray. He managed to grab a handful of lemon bar and fed it to himself before anyone could intervene.
Sam’s behavior reminded her an awful lot like Trixie’s at that age. She ate any food she could get her hands on. She would make sure to give her daughter a great big hug when she woke up. Maybe they could spend the day together doing something Trixie enjoyed. They were both going to need some time. They could take a road trip, just the two of them. Yes that sounded like a good idea. It was something her Lucifer would never be interested in so there was little chance of thinking about him while camping throughout the country.
Gabe made a face a moment later. “Ew baby bro just launched a stink bomb.” He made a dramatic gagging noise and threw himself on the floor. His actions pulled Chloe from her thoughts.
Johnny rolled his eyes at his brother. “Eight years ago your diapers smelled way worse dude.”
“No they didn’t. Tell him mom.”
Chloe looked at the boys. “Oh? Hmm.” She had no clue what the answer was to these questions.
“Johnny was awful if he ate strained peas and you Gabe couldn’t eat sweet potatoes without dropping a stink bomb as you say.”
Johnny shook his head and reached down to help his brother up.
“Now, if you no longer wear a nappy please head downstairs for your own breakfast so your mother and I can talk about you,” Luke laughed.
Gabe rose to his feet and hugged his mother. “ Oh man I forgot to finish your card.”
“That’s okay Gabe. You can give it to me later.” Chloe managed a thank you.
“Happy 305th birthday Mom.” Gabe said before bouncing out the door. Johnny following a few seconds behind.
“Three hundred and five?”
“Don’t worry, you don’t look a day over three hundred my darling.” Luke chuckled.
“Johnny are they going to do it since it’s mom’s birthday? Dad said they only do it on special occasions now.”
Chloe then chuckled as she heard Gabe talking to his brother on the other side of the door.
Luke shook his head, “Well it’s not entirely a lie. Wednesdays are often considered a special occasion.”
She grinned her face growing warm and pulled the tray into her lap suddenly famished.
Luke smiled, “I’ll change Sam and get him dressed. You enjoy your breakfast, take a shower. I’ll go downstairs check on the boys and make sure we still have a kitchen.” He scooped up Sam expertly making the little boy smile and giggle.
Chloe watched in awe. He seemed like a great dad.
“If I know your parents, they will be here soon.”
“My parents?” she paused mid chew.
Luke nodded. “Penelope and John Decker?” his brow furrowed. “We go to the Santa Monica Pier every year with them for your birthday, well every year since Johnny’s first birthday. Are you feeling alright my love? Just how much did you drink last night?”
Chloe's eyes filled with tears. Both of her parents were alive and well in this dream world. “I don’t… I mean I didn’t drink… much last night.”
“Ella promised me when she planned your surprise 35th birthday party with Linda that it wasn’t going to be a crazy repeat of your bachelorette party.” He sighed. “For a science teacher she sure has a naughty side. Maybe Linda needs to psycho analyze Ella. She is the guidance counselor after all and what’s Linda's friend the gym teacher’s name? Mazikeen?”
Ella, Linda and Maze had all made it into her dream? She wondered who else was there. Was Dan there? Amenadiel? Charlie? Eve? Charlotte?
“Yes?” Chloe tried.
“You don’t know the name of the gym teacher you hired? You’re the assistant principal.”
“No, you’re right Mazikeen er- Maze. I did drink a lot last night, too much. I just need some of this delicious food, a shower…”
“I’m making you some coffee. No arguments about the caffeine. You obviously need it today.” He then turned to the baby. “Oh, what in the Devil have we been feeding you?” he left the bedroom leaving Chloe alone with her thoughts.
Her father was alive. So she wasn’t in law enforcement. Not even close. She was an assistant principal. That was kind of like law enforcement wasn’t it? At least she had her friends. Hopefully they were all at the same school. And since when was she anti-caffeine? She had become addicted to espresso in Rome the way Trixie had become obsessed with gelato.
Chloe finished most of her breakfast and headed towards the bathroom when it suddenly occurred to her she had no idea where her clothes, towels toiletries or even where the bathroom was. She poked around for a few moments until she found a huge walk in closet, a linen closet, a vanity and finally the bathroom. She selected clothing for the day, stripped out of her pajamas and got in the shower. She adjusted the temperature and let the water wash over her.
“There room in here for two?”
Chloe nearly screamed and slipped in the shower when Luke entered from behind. Thankfully the sound died in her throat and he caught her before she could fall, with expert hands.
“Of course. Can’t have you falling and hitting your head on your birthday. Gabe would be so disappointed not to play mini golf with grandpa John,” he chuckled, grabbed the soap and a sponge. “C’mere birthday girl.”
She turned to face him suddenly feeling shy.
She had seen her Lucifer naked many times before but Luke, now that she was able to see him this closely she realized his body was different. He had a scar from what looked like having his appendix removed on his abdomen. There was another scar on his chin. He even had a tattoo. He wasn’t her Devil. He was different and 100% human.
“Ah sure.” Chloe replied. She was fine sharing a shower with him, but she was not about to have sex with him. Even if this was only a dream, she was not going to have as close to her first sexual experience with Lucifer be quickie shower sex. She would not cheapen her almost relationship with Lucifer that way.
“I’m sorry we don’t have time for birthday shower sex, love.” He stepped closer. “But I asked your parents to take Gabe and Sam tonight and Johnny has promised to make himself scarce.” He soaped up her body deliberately avoiding the parts that might arouse her. He concentrated on her shoulders, elbows, fingers. When he seemed satisfied she was clean, he then moved even closer wrapping his arms around her torso and dropping a single kiss on her collar bone.
She could feel the length of his body pressing dangerously against hers. The steam from the filled the room as the water continued to rain down over their wet, soapy skin. The mere touch of Luke’s lips produced some kind of electric current that danced over her skin. It started at the place where he kissed her traveled down her breasts to her torso, made her stomach flop as if she were on a high from a roller coaster, the apex of her thighs tingle and finally her toes curl against the soapy stone shower floor.
“That sounds amazing,” her voice was shaky. She sought out more of his touch. She could stop this if it got too far. She just needed to feel him a little bit more. She moved her hands to his shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss. He returned the kiss with enthusiasm.
They went on making out like teenagers for a few moments kissing, touching, until Luke separated them.
Chloe took a deep breath.
“Chloe, as much as I want to stay here until the water runs cold, we need to finish showering.” Luke released her from his embrace and began washing himself.
She nodded and with a grin that matched Luke’s went on with the task of washing her hair.
They finished showering just as Chloe’s parents arrived. Chloe sent Luke downstairs while she finished getting ready. She couldn’t wait to see her father.
Just as she was finishing up her makeup she heard a voice that sounded very far away.
“She’s really really asleep.”
“She had a difficult night, let’s let her sleep, okay? She’ll be alright. I’ll stay here with her. Keep her safe.”
It sounded like Trixie and Amenadiel? Chloe looked around. She already knew there was no Trixie there. Luke didn’t mention having a brother.
For now Chloe ignored the voices and headed downstairs.