Actions

Work Header

21 And Counting

Chapter Text

127 chat 4:30 p.m

Dream betrayer: yo who is on Jeno duty??

Ot12 4:34 p.m

Yanggie: @everyone I have a question

Chinese stupid: no please don't ask this

Dream betrayer: what I'm confused

Idiot sandwich: wow y do all u guys have autocorrest on

Sicheng: because we didn't fail 2nd grade

Idiot sandwich: wow fuck you

Yuyu: i wanna do that tho

Sicheng: sorry I don't date men who aren't intellectuals

Yuyu: I would like to insert my peepee into you my future love of my life

Sicheng: no

Yuyu: or u could fuck me! I'm not picky

Sicheng: …

Sicheng: no

Yuyu: you hesitated! That means you thought about it!

Yuyu: I have a chance!

Sicheng: don't lie to urself

Yanggie: I have only been in this gc for like a few months but what the hell is Yuta ON

Dream betrayer: caffeine and unresolved sexual tension

Henry: how long?

Dream betrayer: since Sicheng's 10th grade and Yuta's 11th

Henry: Yuta is 2 years older tho???

Yuyu: well guess what I was put back a year because I knew .5 English when I came here back in the day

Henry: shut up ur like 23

Yanggie: how did this go from me trying to ask a question to Yuta wanting to duck Sicheng?

Channie: this is why the foreign line isn't allowed to be alone

Henry: we all live in Texas and everyone here isn't American by birth save for Johnny, Young, Lucas, and all dreamies but Jeno

Henry: we r all foreigners ur not special

Yanggie: CAN I ASK MY QUESTION

Chinese stupid: NO BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIGHT

Channie: go for it Yang

Yanggie: pancakes or waffles Chinese stupid: https://66.media.tumblr.com/3689831df377ea525de615a0f3a14a2e/tumblr_pr5t66s7Nn1tln9o1_540.jpg

Chinese stupid: I warned you all

Chinese stupid: don't add the the German I said

Chinese dummy: yet you added him

Sicheng: pancakes

Channie: pancakes Idiot sandwich: WAFFLES

Dream betrayer: WAFFLES

Channie: MARK YOU BETRAYED NOT ONLY OUR MINOR GC BUT ALSO ME TOO?

Dream betrayer: I aged????? ALSO HOW DARE YOU GO AGAINST ME I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU HYUK

Channie: WE WERE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP TOGETHER AND MAKE BREAKFAST WHEN WE CAN AND ENJOY IT

Channie: HOW CAN WE DO THIS WHEN WE CAN'T EVEN DECIDE ON WHAT TO EAT

Dream betrayer: no bby don't worry I'll make you whatever you'd like

Gay: that's gay

Yanggie: …

Yanggie: Ten did you even read your name before typing that?

Gay: they're a different type of gay

Sicheng: no capping

Square: what the hell does that even mean

Sicheng: I forgot Jaehyun was raised by white people

Square: my adoptive mother is going to come and smack u

Tail: Ms. Grayson is actually super nice she wouldn't

Sicheng: and also didn't teach u the slang u need to survive in this gc

Gay: everyone else know what capping/ cappin/ no cap means?

Tail: not I

Gay: ur old doesn't count

Tail: im legit 24 so 1 year older than ur ass

Gay: that’s the point

Tail: so will u be old next year

Gay: bold to assume i will be alive next year

Mom: WHAT

Gay: lol no I just wanted to see if u were online

Gay: ppancakes or waffles Idiot sandwich: autocorrect on and u still have typose

Gay: *gets disgusted in thai*

Idiot sandwich: ew thai

Gay: ew chinese that comes out of renjun

Idiot sandwich: fuck u [Idiot sandwich has now been suspended for 10 minutes]

Tail: wtf why didn’t it work the first time didn’t he curse earlier

Mom: idk but I pick pancakes

Yuyu: I like whatever winko likes

Sicheng: don’t call me that

Sicheng: also I only date people who can think for themselves

Yuyu: fr tho pancakes r superior

Tail: disowning u

Tail: #wafflegang

Yuyu: dad no

Mom: wait…

Square: wait…

Square: if im dating yong doesn’t that mean im ur dad

Yuyu: technically Kun is the dad

Square: but-

Yuyu: N O

Square: fine

Tail: what r we talkin about

Square: nothin

Square: who all knows?

Ten: ทุกคนยกเว้นเขา

Sicheng: oh ok

Tail: translate???

Sicheng: u kno to use google translate

Tail: we kno that translate don’t work that well for countries that have characters so just tell me

Tail: u read thai!!

Sicheng: don’t you have to go to work?

Tail: it doesn’t matter they finna lay ppl off n e way

Tail: not like they paid me enough to uphold my apartment in the 1st place

Sicheng: a paycheck is better than no paycheck right?

Tail: ill be going

Sicheng: bye hyung [Tail is now offline]

Gay: that reminds me

Gay: mark u used my ketchup so pls venmo me my 37 cents

Sicheng: bro u could just…

Sicheng: ask mwah

Gay: venmo me 37 cents also winwin

Sicheng: on it

Square: n e ways

Square: I'm a special type of tired like it's 4:30 and I want to sleep instead of do my homework

Gay: it's either depression or procrastination

Square: it's at the point where my brain is telling me “do work or fail” and the other side said “sleep” and now I'm sitting here with my phone about to blackout

Gay: procrastination

Gay: do ur homework

Square: u rite [Square is now offline]

Sicheng: Mark how is college? How does it feel to be at the end of ur first year

Dream betrayer: I want death to consume me

Sicheng: ur doing great then

Dream betrayer: how r u so… positive about this?

Sicheng: I don't have a mans to talk to so I bury any and all of my problems deep down under a thick layer of positivity so that no one worries about me

Gay: dam went from 0 to 100 real quick

Mom: Cheng u wanna… talk?

Sicheng: https://66.media.tumblr.com/2616045a40af495b9cc747a620459fb4/tumblr_prh1tuIr7J1v48p2bo1_400.jpg

Sicheng: no

Yuyu: *gasp* MEIKO NAKAHARA

Yuyu: SO U DID LISTEN TO THE MUSIC I RECOMMENDED YOU

Sicheng: no I went out of my way to pick all the songs you didn't recommend from the 80s

Sicheng: couldn't understand them

Yuyu: I don't understand Chinese but does that stop me from listening to Lala Hsu

Sicheng: Taiwanese traitor

Sicheng: lol jk idc where ppl r from luv Lala

 

SiTen 4:46 p.m

Gay: bro I said 37 cents not 37 DOLLARS

Sicheng: my finger slipped???

Sicheng: let's be real 十 u need the mula more than I do

Gay: but I didn't ask for 37 from u

Gay: I'll pay you back

Sicheng: don't sweat the details u never gotta pay me back unless I say so

Sicheng: also this is is so Johnny doesn't do it and y'all have to have that convo and I don't have to buy u lunchables

 

127 chat 5:03 p.m

Dream betrayer: oh crap who is with Jeno??

Dream betrayer: for real who is with the kid

Cutie: calm ur tits I saw him earlier with Jaemin

Mom: oh fuck

Yuyu: Jungwoo…

Cutie: what

Mom: y didn't u tell us earlier?

Cutie: it's Jeno, he was with Jaemin so I thought everything was fine

Chicago: mark's still typing

Chicago: bro pls think before you lash out

Yuyu: no he is still typing

Yuyu: not this fuckin time

[Yuyu is now offline]

Dream betrayer: look it's been a year and we haven't really talked about Jeno much and that's cause Jeno is like a bunch of crazy shit that slowly gets revealed over time unless something mega bad happens to him which hasn't in a while so I don't expect you to really get this which is fine. But if any of us at all ever ask about Jeno that needs to be a fucking quick ass reply even if it doesn't seem important. And yeah ik I sound like a helicopter parent or something but I have to when it comes to him sometimes and I get worried a lot when I don't know where he is. So please, just if you see Jeno when I ask about him let me know where he is ok please.

Cutie: crap I'm sorry Mark

Cutie: I didn't know it was that bad

Dream betrayer: it is

Sicheng: that was the nicest rage I've ever seen from someone

Channie: cause he's Canadian

Dream betrayer: still wasn't alerted whomst tf is with him tho

Doughnut: Me and Renjun

Dream betrayer: Renjun got a test tmr

Doughtnut: ik so he is leaving at like 10 and I'm staying till the morning

Doughnut: want me to drop him off at school?

Dream betrayer: yes pls :)

Mom: now that that is over can anyone come over and help me study????

[Dream betrayer is now offline]

[Chicago is now offline]

[Doughnut, Tail, and Channie are now offline]

[Cutie is now offline]

Mom: only ur left Sichenggie

Sicheng: I really would help you

Sicheng: but I don't want to

[Sicheng is now offline]

Mom: fuck all y'all

Mom: YOOOONNNOOOOOHHHHH [GOD has entered the groupchat]

GOD: AaAaAaAamMmMeEeEnn

Mom: what the actual fu-

Mom: u kno what?

Mom: I don't care anymore

Chapter Text

127 chat 

10:59 p.m

 

Mom: OK

 

Mom: SHOMST THE FUCK

 

Mom: IS GOD

 

God: NO CURSING IN THIS RELIGIOUS GROUPCHAT

 

Square: w-who?

 

Channie: my mum just woke up in a cold sweat and grabbed her bible

 

God: religious, i see

 

Square: shut up jehovah's witness

 

God: we must all love and appreciate each other, regardless of-

 

Channie: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR

 

God: i have appeared you don’t have to-

 

Mom: I swear he's legit typing in the chat

 

Channie: https://youtu.be/-50NdPawLVY

 

God: thats not-

 

Doughnut: this is why ur going to hell

 

Dream betrayer: dw I'll go w/ u sweetie

 

Mom: this is what 10 means 

 

Sicheng: y'all a different breed I swear

 

Sicheng: @God what type of gay is this

 

Doughnut: God left once channie got here

 

God: wait are my messages not sending?

 

Channie: yet u called me channie

 

God: Colossians 3:13 – Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

 

God: I love all of my children, don’t worry there’s still a chance for you to join me.

 

Mom: DID Y'ALL SEE THAT SHIT

 

God: I SAID NO CURSING 

 

Dream betrayer: see????

 

Channie: yes

 

Channie: y is God here

 

God: why not?

 

Mom: Taeil, tell me u saw what God sent

 

Tail: bro I'm normally here to vouch for u but this is one weird ass prank

 

God: IF ONE OF YALL CURSE ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR TO MY NAME I WILL-

 

Mom: [screenshot attached]

 

Tail: O H

 

Tail: wtf is this because I gave up christianity 

 

God: you know what I’m done y’all curse it’s gotten up to a point where I’m so disappointed in y’all I don’t care

 

Sicheng: so lemme get this gay

 

Sicheng: someone w/ the username God is here and none of y'all added him? And only Taeyong our mother and channie the only religious one in the gc can see him??

 

God: “username God” I feel offended 

 

God: wait can y’all like add me I need new friends also follow me on Instagram @godswordfortoday

 

Yuyu: sounds like it may be real God, u think he got like a time where he answers questions and or prayers cause like I got some

 

God: “answer questions”?

 

God: Hi guys welcome back to my YouTube channel and today we are going to do a very requested video!! A Q&A!!!

 

Sicheng: taeil what about 

 

God: what about taeil?

 

Square: fuck did God get to him before he could finish???

 

God: plz don’t curse that’s a sin I was joking about not caring….

 

Sicheng: lol no Yuta was at my window again I hit him with my textbook

 

Yuta: @God WILL DONG SICHENG EVER LOVE ME BACK

 

God:........ I can’t control people's feelings and I’m not a fortune teller either so you got the wrong person for this, son.

 

Sicheng: Yong tell me what God says

 

God: lmao you can’t see me tuff

 

God: wait I provided y’all with at least ½ of a brain cell did I not? Why don’t y’all just got together so you can see what I’m typing and not have to send to many screenshots cuz I’m running out of storage….

 

Mom: God says he's running out of storage so everyone meet up at my house and we will see God 

 

Doughnut: under any other circumstances this would sound like cult meeting “see god”

 

God: CuLt

 

Channie: isn't church just a giant cult anyway

 

God: I mean …

 

Channie: also our chat in total has 21 people that is based off the fact we all go to the same school and that's pretty much a cult

 

God: 21 and counting

 

Mom: fine cult meeting at my house

 

Sicheng: it's 11 at night??? 

 

Channie: ur point???

 

Sicheng: ur not even supposed to be up right now shut up do u want me to call your mum

 

Channie: fine no cult meeting rn

 

Mom: cult meeting tomorrow then goodnight uglies and Jaehyun

 

Mom: and Jeno cause ur with him Doyoung tell him I love him and he's my favourite child

 

God: wait me too? 

 

Yuyu: I'd be offended if it was any other person in the chat.

 

Yuyu: tomorrow is Saturday!! If we have a cult meeting can I bring our seance movie

 

Mom: we… dont… have… a… seance movie?

 

Yuyu: cheetah girls 2

 

Sicheng: hell yeah

 

Yuyu: DID SICHENG JUST AGREE WITH ME

 

Yuyu: BE STILL MY HEART

 

Sicheng: cheetah girls is a bomb ass movie and the second is even better

 

God: no cursing 

 

Sicheng: fuck the third one tho

 

God: I SAID NO CURSING GODDAMNIT 

 

Sicheng: Galleria was absent and for that reason the movie in invalid but chanel did good

 

Square: why are you so passionate about that series

 

God: BECAUSE IT'S A GREAT SERIES 

 

Mom: u think that’s bad u should see him when we’re in person

 

Mom: I sat for a mofoing hour listening to him explain why cheetah girls 2 is superior to any movie and that’s saying something because he loves hsm2

 

Sicheng: LISTEN

 

Sicheng: CHHETAH GIRLS 2 HAD 4 DIFFERENT GIRLS WHO SANG ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT BUT STILL BEING SISTERS AND NOT NEEDING A MAN

 

Sicheng: IT WAS ALL INCLUSIVE AND GALLERIA WAS HALF ITALIAN, HER COUSIN AQUA WAS FROM RIGHT HERE IN TEXAS AND SPOKE FLUENT SPANISH, CHANEL WAS A KIND SPANISH SPEAKER WHO WAS GALLERIA”S BFF AND DON’T EVEN GET ME FUCKIN S T A R T E D ON BEAUTIFUL DORINDA! SWEET GIRL HAS A FOSTER FAMILY AND 10 OTHER SIBLINGS AND DOES FUCJIN DANCING OH MY GOD SHE CHOREOGRAPHS I LUV HER SO MUH AND IS SO KIND

 

Dream betrayer: wow that was a ride

 

Sicheng: everyone from 3rd ward has seen cheetah girls but ok

 

Dream betrayer: has 10???

 

Sicheng: ddduuuuuhhhhhh 

 

God: he hasn’t he’s lying

 

Channie: god said ur lying

 

Channie: god also said stop cursing

 

God: thank you

 

Sicheng: I believe in sharpay evans as my one true god

 

God: ma’am-

 

Sicheng: @god if it makes u feel any better if anyone in the chat still in hs curses they get suspended for 10 minutes

 

God: really? Cuz if that were true none of y’all would be here rn

 

Channie: @god in this gc I’m the only one in highschool but I have yet to curse

 

Square: today

 

God: today 

 

Channie: shut up Jaehyung I’m trying to go to heaven

 

God: lying doesn’t- ok

 

Tail: u should be trying to go to bed

 

God: ^

 

Channie: oh my god U sound like Taeyong

 

Sicheng: That’s what I was getting Taeil for…

 

Sicheng: let’s figure out this family tree rn

 

God: let’s figure out how to go to bed

 

Mom: god said it’s bed time

 

Sicheng: god needs to go check on how 3rd world countires r doing before he tells me when to go to sleep

 

God: figure out how who is doing?

 

Channie: https://66.media.tumblr.com/6ac9d41012bd9443bfaf52948d98291f/tumblr_prh0bfemU61v48p2bo1_1280.jpg

 

Channie: SICHENG HE WILL KILL YOU

Sicheng: I fear nothing

 

Mom: @god sicheng means the countries that are mcfuckin dying out there w/ dirty water

 

God: oh those

 

Sicheng: while u up in here telling me when to sleep tf

 

God: listen here u lil piece of shit. 

 

God: not my fault that their government treats them like that first of mcfucking all

 

God: and also I know your fears don’t make me have to make you wake up to giant fucking tarantula and tinky winky cuz I mcfracking will

 

Sicheng: did God reply

 

Mom: no

 

Channie: no

 

God: you little- tell him let’s see if he talks to me like that ever again

 

Mom: God said he's working on it

 

God: let’s leave it like that 

 

Sicheng: n e way

 

Sicheng: so Taeyong is our mom correct?

 

Dream betrayer: yes

 

Sicheng: but jeno is ur kid mark 

 

Dream betrayer: also yes…

 

Sicheng: so yong is Jeno’s grandpa

 

Mom: 나는 아주씨!!!!!!!

 

Sicheng: ye

 

Sicheng: so that means TAEIL IS EVERYONE BUT JENO'S GRANDPA AND IS JENOS GG

 

Tail:... I didn't sign up for this

 

Mom: then how is Kun dad if I'm dating Jaehyun

 

Tail: is there something ur not telling me Taeyong

 

Mom: I promise I have never made out or dated Kun so is he just dad because he's the only one who can do taxes without help other than me?

 

God: sounds fake but ok

 

Sicheng: probably

 

Square: yeah

 

Channie: well I'm tired so imma go sleep

 

[Channie is now offline]

 

Sicheng: thank God 

 

God: ur welcome 

 

Mom: I'm gonna have to team up with Cheng and fight God I HAVE NEVER MADE OUT WITH KUN CAUSE HE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE

 

Yuyu: bro… don't expose him he'll get upset even if he isn't here

 

Mom: right. Sorry.

 

Mom: I'm also gonna Sleep before I get even more upset

 

[Mom is now offline]

 

God: “he likes someone else” “I’ve never made out with him” geusgeuwwgwtwhfeyehsgsysyejw

 

Chicago: what did I miss

 

Sicheng: everything u loser 

 

Chicago: pinche tu madre 

 

Sicheng: YOU DON'T SPEAK SPANISH

Sicheng: UR NOT COOL U WANNABE J BALVIN

 

Chicago: I'll beat ur ass

 

Sicheng: 10 won't let you swine

 

Chicago: if I ask nicely he will say yes

 

Sicheng: as his bff and gay best friend no he won't 

 

Sicheng: kinda wish yong was back on so we could figure out what God is up to rn

 

Sicheng: but I'm gonna sleep so 

 

God: OH NOW YOU CARE ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE-

 

[Sicheng is now offline]

 

Chicago: no one loves me in this chat I'm going to bed by losers and Mark 

 

God: I love all of my children and the other dude too 

 

[Chicago is now offline]

 

Square : Johnny is dramatic I swear

 

Square: with whoever is online do you think due to Jeno's big pure energy he'd be able to see God's texts?

 

God: aAaAaaAamMmMmEEeEeNnn

 

Dream betrayer: hell yeah pprobably

 

Dream betrayer: I mean look at him!

 

Dream betrayer: https://66.media.tumblr.com/c1fb1d2a01bcf4819d874d51e3bdaa39/3949623bcde66ae0-5e/s640x960/5e5fb2c65f587064f3caffcadb52bf68fe091591.jpg

 

God: look at my son

 

Dream betrayer: look at my son

 

God: wait no-

 

Dream betrayer: pride is not the word I'm looking for

 

Square: do not start quoting Hamilton u normie

 

Dream betrayer: go offline then hoe

 

God: whoever curses one more time I swear y’all will wake up to a little girl laughing down the hall

 

[Square is now offline]

 

Dream betrayer: fuck no wait- 

 

God: brb

 

Dream betrayer: oh well by kiddos I'm always online but imma sleep

 

God: u fracking lying but ok

 

Chapter Text

Dream chat

11:34 a.m

Maknae: due to personal reasons I will be dropping out of school and becoming a youtuber

Channie: that’s already 10 and sicheng’s failsafe

Maknae: ur point

Best Boi: 아니! 학교에 가요!!!!!  

Best Boi: 제발 ㅜ.ㅜ

Maknae:...

Maknae: fine only cause Jeno said so

Best Boi: Thank u!!!

Nana: SPEAKING OF JENO WHO I LUV

Nana: can I show them ur thing boo?

Best Boi: yes!

Nana: [audio attached]

Channie: holy crap Jen, be still my heart the uwu just never ends

Maknae: due to personal reasons I will be holding crying over Jeno hours today

Idiot sandwich: ngl tho ur English is coming along really well Jen

Channie: which no correlation at all brings me to my next point

Channie: someone named god is in our gc and no one can see him but me and yong but we have suspicions that Jeno may be able to see him as well if he joins the gc

[God has entered the groupchat]

God: what is popping

Channie: HOW DID HE GET HERE

God: I was summoned by y’all idk

Idiot sandwich: um I see nothing

Dolphin: cause ur satan

God: I mean...

Idiot sandwich: shut up chenle

Channie: Jeno do u see HIM

Jeno: God?

Jeno: [screenshot attached]

Channie: I KNEW IT HE COULD SEE HIM 

Channie: @god can u speak Korean cause that’s the only language Jeno can speak/ write without having struggle time 

God:对 

Best Boi: 고드 “对“ 말해 왜????

Dolphin: it’s been years and I still can’t read korean

Channie: god said yes in chinese instead of Korean

Channie: also yes you can??? You're just lazy???

Idiot sandwich: and I’m the idiot?

God: just because I am God doesn’t mean I can’t have a sense of humor

Dolphin: U FAILED SECOND GRADE

Idiot sandwich: fuck off

[Idiot sandwich has been suspended for 10 minutes]

Channie: oh btw god doesn’t like cursing so I think he may be friends with Taeil

God: yes.

Maknae: I thought Taeil couldn’t see him tho

God: your point?

Channie: “ur point?” god, not even 2 seconds ago

Maknae: also Taeil believes in nothing???

God: in order to see me you have to believe in either of these: any type of religion or believe that Chris Pratt is the one true god

Channie: https://66.media.tumblr.com/5cb47873902c2837e34b2a36dc138090/e6ddfc0234821d7c-58/s640x960/7ca9670cbbcd8e9495dbbe1648558283d389ee16.jpg

Channie: well Taeil does love Chris Pratt

Channie: even vouched for him after infinity war 

Best Boi:역겨운  

Maknae: I can't believe Jeno just called Taeil disgusting over defending Chris Pratt

Nana: do u defend Chris Pratt

Nana: WOULD GAMORA WANT YOU TO DEFEND HIM

Nana: no she would not

God: ma’am Chris Pratt is one of my best creations idk what u talking about

Maknae:... you two are the exact opposite of 10 and Johnny

Best Boi: 나는 이해 않아

Nana: I don't understand either it's ok Jennie bean

Best Boi: ^-^ 고마워 

Nana: no problem, don't gotta thank me for everything

Best Boi: [screenshot attached] 

Nana: ok @God I see where ur coming from but sir, he killed half the universe

God: hey, no one is perfect. His only flaw is that one . others’ flaws are idk lying, hating etc his is killing half of the universe but he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that

Jeno: KILL IS BAD

God: yes, it is, but not if you are chris pratt

Channie:... I have never seen Jeno use caps before

Nana: what did God say dam who hurt my bby

Channie: [screenshot attached]

Nana: I'm about to pull a castiel and take my ass up to heaven

God: come and see what happens 

Channie: no we r all going to go to Taeyong's apartment watch God type from his phone

Channie: Jen we need to sneak u from ur house

Best Boi: 괜찮아, 엄마 여기 없어

God: no u don’t I got chu fam I’ll just make his parents let him out 

Nana: wait wasn't ur mom just at home? How is she already gone?

Best Boi: idk

Best Boi: god??? God maybe 

God: ur welcome;)

Best Boi: :)

Best Boi: Renjun, take ur vroom vroom?

God: OMG UR SO ADORABLE I LOVE YU!!! YOU NOW HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN HEAVEN 

Idiot sandwich: OH LORD HE CALLED A CAR A VROOM VROOM HE'S ADORABLE 

Best Boi: oh, car!!! I forgotten sorry

Channie: God also thinks he's adorable apparently and Jeno now has a special place in heaven which is why I firmly believe God is just Hansol

Idiot sandwich: can I have one??? I need proof I'm not satan's incarnate

God: I mean I haven’t heard anything from my boi down there in like 18 years

Channie: he literally just said ur probably satan

Idiot sandwich: fuck

[Idiot sandwich is now suspended for 10 minutes]

Channie: RENJUN AGAIN???

Channie: fine, pick us up I'll see u all at Taeyongs

God: I can hear him scream “goddamnit”

Best boi: @God hie

Best Boi: can Jaemin come me in heaven?

God: YES YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT  

Nana: omg Jeno bby u don't have to ask for things for me

God: yes he did..

Best Boi: God said yes!!!!! 

Nana: ok that's it I'm going to church

God: took you a while but plz don’t lie this time

Channie: lol God said u lie about going to church Jaemin

Nana: I have moved past that point in my life 

Nana: I'll Go this Sunday I promise

God: uhuh 

 

Ot12 chat

12:31

Mom: everyone here?

Chicago: we are all ar ur apartment crowded around ur TV watching u text yes u stupid person

Mom: u try being a mother of 17 and see how ur life goes

God: love that 

Channie: well the tea is that Jeno can see God and now has a special place in heaven

Dream betrayer: not even mad

God: CAN YOU BLAME ME I MEAN HE IS SO ADORABLE OMG I LOVE HIM

Tail: HOLY FUCK HOW COME WE CAN'T SEE HIM ON OUR PHONES 

Gay: due to personal reasons and the fact my name in this chat is legit gay I'm not surprised that I can't 

God: nah chief ur good I was never and have never been a homophobic ppl be putting words in my mouth 

Gay: OH THANK GOD GOD SOUNDS LIKE A GHETTO TWITTER STAN AND I LOVE THAT SHIT

Gay: I will now go to church

God: IIIIAaaAaAaAmMMmmMeEeEeNn but plz don’t lie you’ve gone to church twice when you were 3 and you cried cuz you didn’t wanna go 

Chicago: don't Lie

Ten: ok don't expose me like that dam

God: my bad 

Dream betrayer: lmao u cried cause u didn't wanna go to church I just took naps

God: that’s why you can’t see me

Dream betrayer: crap he's right

Channie: but Mark is Canadian 

Channie: doesn't he get something extra

God:.... apparently not idk how this works 

Sicheng: tf u mean u don't know how this works ur God 

Mom: Sicheng pisses off God part 2

God: listen here you little- jUST cuz I am god that doesn’t mean I have to know everything ok?

Sicheng:...

Sicheng: fair point or else the new testament wouldn't have been needed

God: how u know that? 

Channie: D-did sicheng Just agree with God 

Sicheng: I've been to cruch a total of 12 times in my 21 years of existence so I know some stuff

God: 13 

Yuyu: Sicheng u actually payed attend in churches

Sicheng: **paid

Yuyu: of course anything for you bby

Sicheng: shut the heck ur mouth

Sicheng: and yes, some part were interesting 

God: I haven’t even read the testaments myself I-

Sicheng: well u did exist in them so I guess it’s fine

Yuyu: anyway @GOD DOES HE EVEN LIKE ME DOES DONG SICHENG EVEN APPRECIATE ME

Sicheng: god u better not answer that

Maknae: wow

God: ugh fine

Sicheng: that’s a valid response I like pictures

Best Boi: me too!! Picture funny

God: I know

God: OMG MY BBY DO YOU WANT MORE FUNNY PICTURES?

Best Boi: Yes please 0-0

God: I WILL SEND YOU MORE PICTURES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT 

God: [image attached]

Gay: WHERE DID HE GET THAT 

Gay: PUT THAT SHIT BACK

Mom: but… jeno is laughing so we keep it

Mom: raise ur hand if u wanna keep it up

Channie: @god everyone but Ten raised their hand

God: No. if my baby finds it funny it will forever stay no discussion 

God: @channie I was gonna keep it anyway 

Tail: hey Chicago 

Chicago: wat

Tail: ur rich right?

Chicago: I'm comfortable 

God: nah bih u loaded

Tail: u ate w/ me 2 days ago venmo me 25$

Chicago: bro I thought u got a full ride to med school

Tail: I have NO MONEY FOR MY HOUSING OR GOOD FOOD

Tail: but nonetheless I make it work off of almost minimum wage so pls 25$ 

Chicago: it's not like I was gonna say no

Chicago: done my guy pls take care of urself

Square: Taeil hyung… have you been looking for another job? U need to start looking

Taeil: I have but there's like, nothing better for a child with no experience 

Doughnut: I know u hate this idea but… ask ur parents

Taeil: my Korean parents: “YoUrE aLrEaDy GaY aNd We AcCePt ThAt CaNt YoU mAkE a LiViNg FoR yOuRsElF?” 

God: oh yeah I forgot abt ur parents my bad

Taeil: no

Nana: why is 10 looking at Johnny like that

Gay: someone venmoed me money I didn't ask for

Sicheng: Johnny why do you do these Things

Chicago: he legit has almost the exact same working conditions as Taeil

Chicago: he's not going to ask for anything

Gay: because I don't need anything

God: *CoUgH LiEs CoUgH*

Maknae: (how many days did we go without Johnten arguing in public about their .5 relationship)

Dolphin: (roughly 1 week and an hour)

Mom: both of you can either go to DM or talk afuera but don't kill the vibe of my apartment 

Maknae: (chenle am I watching ten climb out a window of a third floor apartment)

God: love that

Dolphin: (my favourite Jisung yes you are)

God: @chenle you ain’t dying chief I need someone to help me communicate with the unreligious 

Yuyu: soz mom, the vibe had already kinda died so I'm just going to skrrt 

Square: I'll stay

Dolphin: I actually have to go tutor some kids today in like an hour so 再见

Idiot sandwich: I am some kids

God: lmao retard

Mom: @god don’t call renjun retarded only I can

Nana: I need to go w/ Jeno to the park! We have to go look at things

Mom: so far that's the only reasonable excuse

Sicheng: u already know where I'm going I'll be online if u need me

Dolphin: yeah were not logging off we just won't be here physically 

Mom: I'm slowly watching everyone leave I guess

God: sad

Dream betrayer: I'd stay but I have therapy today

Mom: valid 

Mom: have a good time talk about your problems don't accept the tea it's truth serum

Dream betrayer: duly noted

[Dream betrayer is now offline]

Mom: ok traitors, get out my apartment

Mom: YOONOH U SAID UR STAYING

Square: gotta go check on my bff

Square: I'll be back to make out with u dw

Mom: okie

 

SiTen

1:08

 

Sicheng: 10 where are you?

Gay: no

God: [address]

Sicheng: ur not at your apartment or the library or the dance studio or school or our pond

Gay: technically it's Chenle's pond

Sicheng: who gifted it to everyone in the gc so our pond

Sicheng: but where are you

Gay: hiding my problems in a coffee shop

Sicheng: [image attached] this it? Idk y but I feel like I should walk in even if u rnt there

Sicheng: I just saw move I’m coming in

 

Johnhyung

1:09 

 

Square: Johnny I s2g if u don’t solve ur problems with him and decide to go off and not talk to him for 3-5 business days again 

Chicago: when has that ever happened?

Square: every d a m time in the last 2 years you have been dating him

Chicago: we aren’t dating

Square: can’t tell

Square: we can’t call yall hookups cause hookups don’t know each other’s favourite colour 

Square: or where their hometowns are, or how one likes their steak and how the other likes his chicken or wants to introduce them to their parents 

Chicago: u know I wanna date him right?

Square: hello? I’m ur bff iv’e been knew

Chicago: u wrote i’ve wrong

Square: shut up

Square: have u asked him to date you?

Chicago: ….. no

Square: u know there is only one thing to say to that

Square: oof

Chicago: granted ten hasn't asked me out either

Square:... 

Chicago: i suppose that is invalid since he’s got philophobia huh

Square: mild philophobia but yes

Square: look broski I’d say ask sicheng cause lord knows he wants u2 together asap about 10’s stuff but…

Chicago: he probably w/ him and 10 is adorably nosy

Square: u can’t be adorably nosy he’s just nosy

Chicago: n o

Square: see? Thats what I mean 

Square: u would fight me for him which says something

Chicago: but how do I get him to see that?

Chicago: I don’t want him to be afraid anymore

Square: it took years for him and winwin to be close and it only took you 1

Square: I mean ur lower than Sicheng but they are bffs

Square: just give him time

 

Ot21

4:20 p.m

 

F-boy: HAHA 420 

God: this bixch I forgot abt him

Taeil: alright who unbanned Lucas

F-boy: um Yukhei or xuxi only

God: don’t say that ever again

Dad: no person is going to call you xuxi go sit somewhere

Channie: dang who unbanned this idiot

F-boy: idiot??? Me???

God: sweetie you’re not bright that’s not something I provided you with

F-boy: also I have no clue who unbanned me

F-boy: Also who is god

God: holy- you can see me

Tail: what

Tail: this child can see god but I CANT

Tail: @god turn it off turn it off

God: turn what off?

Channie: [screenshot attached]

Tail: turn off his ability to SEE you 

God: I DON'T KNOW HOW HE CAN- oh maybe he believes in  Chris Pratt being the one true god

Channie: GOD SAID HE DOESNT KNOW HOW

Channie: WHAT IF GOD ACCIDENTALLY UNBANNED HIM OH SHIT

[Channie has now been suspended for 10 minutes]

God: oh no

Tail: no my grandson

God: lmao the fact that I can hear him yell from here is funny idk

Tail: @Mom come online and stop getting the d from Yoon-oh

Mom: we finished 20 minutes ago

God: https://66.media.tumblr.com/d9a266f59d9fc7f79b5c7db727551680/e50617cb5190de2f-81/s640x960/cc11bdf41b03113b43ccc03d0ba1780b85871e78.jpg

Tail: i did not need to know that 

Square: ew I see Lucas has been unbanned

Mom: I didn’t do it

God: don’t look at me I forgot he existed (no offense)

F-boy: ngl god has a good meme collection

Square: oh fuck off coachella

God: SPEAKING OF MEMES 

God: Coachella 

F-boy: chenle went to coachella too y y'all not making fun of him

Dolphin: cause I didn’t smoke weed, wave at J.C and then run into a wall when we went

God: what he said

Mom: @god wow where did u get that pic of James charles

God: the internet?

Gay: I heard satan’s name be called

Gay: did yall see Tati go off on this hoe

God: DJEYSUSH I WAS DEAD LAUGHING

Dad: yaasss

Mom: course

God: hold on

God: b4 y’all say sum abt me crafting James Charles it wasn’t my idea 

Tail: I don’t follow the beauty community

Gay: that’s cause ur old

Mom: yeah tf was up with chu when u made that kid

Mom: tbh I heard he was nice until he turned like 5 or 6 so who did u put to watch his family my guy

God: like I said not my idea 

God: lmao idk this dude looking for a job and since James was already messed up I just gave it to this dude

Mom: god said this is not his fault apparently

God: hey at least we can now sip sum tea and watch him sister sink

F-boy: god just said sister sink eye-

God: as someone who’s username is f-boy I don’t think you have rights to judge what ppl say

[Tail has changed F-boy name to James charles]

James charles: I’m offended

[James charles has changed their name to Xuxi]

Xuxi: better

Xuxi: how come god knows the topic before we even change it

Channie: cause he’s frickin god

[God has changed Xuxi name to James Charles]

God: what he said

God: also don’t call yourself xuxi ever again

James charles: God really out here hating on my 3nd name

God: that’s not your- ok

Mom: the only ones allowed to have more than one name is legally mark, Johnny, Donghyuk, Sicheng and Jaehyun so wrong again

God: ^

James charles: u mean to tell me my name is fake

Dad: isn't the only reason ANYONE knows who Xuxi is is because when u went back to China u wanted girls to think ur cute

Cutie: my boyfriend really be flirting huh

James charles: I literally made up xuxi so that you guys who understand Mandarin can have an easier life

James charles: also u know I love only you

Sicheng: Yukhei is the only think that makes sense

God: yes

Dolphin: my name is Chenle and I pull girls better than u do 

James charles: lies

God: they’re not wrong…...

Dolphin: https://66.media.tumblr.com/85ef439cbbe3007471b0fed5bf6a0ffb/tumblr_prh214oD1M1v48p2bo1_400.jpg

Dolphin: me at age 13

Dolphin: and I have a horse

Dolphin: https://66.media.tumblr.com/a9c7858ee2d093c94e2a99f647b42c47/tumblr_prh22xtgtu1v48p2bo1_400.jpg

Dolphin: u could never

God: he ain’t wrong..

James charles: ok ok it's hate on Lucas day fine

Channie: every day is hate on Lucas day but today is special 

Channie: nonetheless what r u on here for aren't u in china??? Isn't it 4 a.m in chinaa???

James charles: time is a concept created by humans

James charles: I missed Jeno the sweet kid

James charles: and Jungwoo

God: how did you even get unbanned?

God: IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO MY BABY I SWEAR TO MY NAME ILL- 

James charles: woah chill, never would do anything to Jen

God:Jeno has a special place in my heart and in heaven

Best Boi: 旭熙!!! 你好!!

God: OMGOMGOMGOMG 你好

James charles: hi!!! 

Best Boi: [video attachment] 

God: 可愛

Square: Jeno really just sent Lucas a hello video that's the cutest thing in the world

Best Boi: Lucas, come soon back home okay????? 

God: HE WILL COME BACK SOON IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT I PROMISE 

Best Boi: funny boi 보고 싶다 

James charles: I miss u too I'll be back in like a week dw

God: NO U WONT A WEEK IS TOO MUCH 

Channie: I can't believe ur using ur absences to go to China only to come back last week of school 

God: he will be back in Max  5 days

Best Boi: 5하루!!! 진짜!!!

James charles: Jeno idk bro… 

God: hi yes hello I’m god you’ll be back in Max 5 days cuz that’s what my bby wants

Best Boi: 괜찮아요 형 enjoy time

Nana: hey hun how are you and sup Lucas

James charles: finally!!!! Someone doesn't hate me that isn't Jeno

God: I don’t hate you..

Nana: 127 and dream have separate hate on Lucas days but channie is in 127 so ha

James charles: still not over the fact y'all paid 100 to take a test

Sicheng: I paid 25 dollars

Lucas: wat-

Sicheng: 3rd ward perks

God: that test shouldn’t be a thing thx a lot

God: https://youtu.be/Lw9vndDS88I

Mom: is this because I said afuera earlier 

God: mayhaps

Sicheng: ha loser

Chapter Text

Ot21

12:37 p.m

 

Chicago: Yangyang is about to come on and ask a stupid question pls answer no

Yang: bet u I can fit a whole cucumber in my mouth

Dream betrayer: NO

God: NO

Sicheng: no

Gay: nope

Idiot Sandwich: do it coward

Maknae: ur satan’s incarnate did you know that

Idiot sandwich: i’ve been informed

Henry: I threw the cucmber out the window it’s fine but I think it may or may not have hit someone or something

Yang: ur mean

Henry: u couldve d i e d

Yang: probably

James Charles: my God why does everyone in the gc want to die 

God: idk why are you asking me? Not my fault y’all are depressed

James charles: also

[James charles has changed their name to Luke]

Sicheng: this is acceptable

Doughnut: Lucas really acting like he doesn't wanna die too

Luke: got me there

Best Boi: I do not want to die

Best Boi: I miss my friends

God: Don't u worry my smol child they won’t die 

Dream betrayer: *I will miss my friends*

Best Boi: :) 감사합니다 

Sicheng: all of my depression has been cured

[Yuyu is now online]

Sicheng: and just like that it's back

Yuyu: hello hoes

God: weren’t you in church 3 seconds ago

Sicheng: we literally just came from church u could've waited until Monday for a cuss word

Tail: oh yeah how was that? I'm at work so alas I could not attend the cult

Dolphin: we all had the terrible idea to wear the exact same black suit and black shirt and blue tie because everyone has those and come in with black sunglasses and then so we leave halfway when offering happened and look like the c.i.a

God: that was retarded why

Maknae: don't forget we also all only followed hyuk and stayed sitting the entire time

Best Boi: 동혁이 언제 교회 떠나면?

Dream betrayer: lol I don't think his church ends until one

Best Boi: 진짜!!!! 아이고 

Gay: it's only 12 how does he do this every week?

Idiot sandwich: dedication I guess

Idiot sandwich: I can barely focus on a project long enough 

Henry: that's cause you- say it with me everyone

Henry: [audio attachment]

Dream betrayer: [audio attachment]

Luke: [audio attachment]

Best Boi: [audio attachment]

Sicheng: [audio attachment]

Yuyu: [audio attachment]

Idiot sandwich: I FAILED SECOND GRADE OKAY I GET IT

Henry: good

Idiot sandwich: 闭嘴

Henry: 不你

Yanggie: well he got u there Renjun

Chicago: (@cutie what is happening)

Cutie: (hendery just said no u)

Chicago: (thx)

Sicheng: (wait u mean to tell me Jungwoo speaks Chinese?)

Idiot sandwich: https://66.media.tumblr.com/83b07486a0687a27bf669e8dd8d6f21c/d6bffc887421627c-8e/s640x960/b64f31ebc9fb31cb81fd3eb9bddb19dfca889b6d.jpg

Chinese idiot: well he's got ya there Hendery 

Dolphin: ques(so)tion

God: that’s not how you- ok

Chicago: question and queso only have one s

Dolphin: hey shut the heck ur mouth

Dolphin: n e ways How did Hendery get his name?

Henry: ok so u know how my name is Kun-Hang?

Henry: No one calls me that!!! Hang is weird alone and Kun is already Kun's name. Putting them together is only called by my mum and dad

Dolphin: go by your last name???

Henry:... wong?

Henry: and risk being mistaken for Lucas's sibling??? No

Luke: I'm offended 

Henry: so when I came here from Macau I was gonna go by Henry but there were already 27.9 Henry's in our school

Dolphin: we are overrun by asians at our schools

Henry:... chenle ur Asian 

Henry: we're all Asian

Dolphin: our kind is overrunning our school

Dolphin: but carry on 

Henry: and then one time Yangyang mispronounced Henry and said “Hendry” so I put a few more letters in and bam Hendery

Sicheng: congrats

Dolphin: there are boys at the front of our school and I'm debating on leaving or not

Dream betrayer: what

Dream betrayer: what?

Dream betrayer: chenle??

Maknae: Le??

Maknae: oh crap 

Makne: I told you to wait at my house and we’d go together

[Maknae is now offline]

Yanggie: what?

Channie: bullies bullies bullies

Dream betrayer: oh hell no

Channie: wherever u are, you will not make it in time 

Yanggie: what do you mean?

Channie: Jisung knows how to fight

Channie: they were going to the basketball court at school to play

Channie: guess what happens now

Yanggie: @mom HELLO COME ONLINE WHAT THE HELL JISUNG MIGHT GET IN A FIGHT

Mom: *sighs* someone drive me if they don't reply in 5 minutes

Square: on it

Henry: DOES THIS NORMALLY HAPPEN

Henry: YALL JUST GET IN FIGHTS

Henry: AND U JUST SIGH

Tail: at this point when it's been 3 years and 18 of us before you 3 shit goes d o w n

Tail: Jisung and others do this stuff and we're too used to worse

Henry: who… else???

Tail: Ten, Sicheng, Jisung, Renjun, Hyuk, and even Nana if you make him mad enough

Tail: but for the most part we're mild

Yanggie: wat

[Maknae is now online]

Maknae: wow

Maknae: u worry a lot huh

Dolphin: how r u?

Mom: r u 2 good????

Dolphin: yeah we be playing bball

Maknae: fun times

Mom: u beat em up didn't you

Maknae: that ain't tha point

Mom: JISUNG

Maknae: Ten got in fights in hs!!!

Mom: I didn't let him fight if I could!!!

Maknae: I'm fine, I didn't hurt them that bad and there were only two

Maknae: and lele wasn't really hurt

Dolphin: can we play now?

[Maknae is now offline]

[Dolphin is now offline]

Mom: these two stress me out even more than finals

Mom: I do need to sleep?

Mom: possibly

Sicheng: sleep then

Mom: you do your chemistry that you should have taken in hs?

Sicheng: don't worry about it and go take a nap, also yong I took all the other AP tests

Mom: u… u sure

Sicheng: square go get ur man

Square: sueño 

Mom: no quiero 

Square: cállate 

Mom: fine

[Mom is now offline] 

Square: finally

Square: enjoy ur nap bby we'll go out for milkshakes later 

Yuyu: aw were you 2 going to go out?

Square: yeah, in an hour actually

Yuyu: aw…

Square: he's swamped like Taeil in homework so he may have forgotten

Square: I don't mind today as long as he sleeps cause he won't 

Sicheng: he sleeps like Jeno when he's worried

Tail: so.. none to 4 hours

Sicheng: ding ding ding m8

 

Tenwoo

2:10 p.m

 

Gay: hey woo?

Cutie: yo

Gay: we're friends right?

Gay: well at least not like we were in h.s

Cutie: yeah Y?

Gay: imma tell u something 

Gay: and u cannot speak of it ok thx

Cutie: wat up

Gay: I am gonna quit my job

Cutie: hi what

Cutie: ur already paid like crap what r u gonna do???

Gay: I have an idea but I'm gonna need to talk it over w/ Taeil cause he's thinking of something also

Gay: not yet, but soon I will be quitting

Cutie: u sure? We aren't that close but I'm still going to worry about you

Gay: don't lose sleep over it I'll be fine

Gay: and also, thank you

Cutie: what r u thanking me for? I should be thanking you guys for the way I was in hs and you still let me into the group

Gay: past is past

Gay: I wasn’t a saint either Jungwoo

Cutie: r u gonna tell johnny or sicheng?

Gay: sicheng will worry and johnny will Worry™ 

Gay: i dont like when ppl help me too much

Cutie: ive noticed

Cutie: u should let people help you, crazy things happen

Gay: like what

Cutie: less stress, general happiness rises, ull get a bf

Gay: w h e r e

Cutie: hes legit always by you is 6 feet tall and his name is johnny seo

Gay: omfg if i went out with johnny it would be a blessing and a curse

Cutie: emotional and financial security+ someone to call yours+ a big adorable johnny and the cons are???????????????????

Gay: if something even mildly inconvenient happens to me he will not hop off my tip about it

Gay: and help when I dont ask

Cutie: u could be an inch away from death and you will go ‘no ive got it’ aksdjfijdfi stfu no u don’t 

Cutie: he helps without asking cause he likes you

Cutie: if u don't date him I will at this point

Gay: still…

Gay: I just want everything to be fine but I'll just clash with him. I'm too loose and he's too tight

Cutie: but you like it

Gay: I do but I cant Jungwoo

Cutie: why is that 

Gay: I'm afraid

Gay: I'm so afraid

 

127

4:14 p.m

 

Dream betrayer: so who is ready for finallsssss

Channie: dont remind me

Yuyu: u dont know true pain until u go to college

Channie: roughly 1 year I will

Sicheng: won't you have to dip from the dream chat after that?

Channie: only Chenle and Jisung will be there and they're crap at making new friends

Sicheng: lol remember when Jisung tried to go up to a girl and ask her out and he slipped on a banana peel as if it was a cartoon

Yuyu: didn't that happen to Chenle and 10 too?

Channie: Chenle is invalid cause when he did it he made a looney toons reference 

Chicago: 10 because when he slipped he went right into the splits and got that dudes number anyway

Yuyu: tea

Chicago: it was Sehun's number

Yuyu: no tea nvm

Dream betrayer: nonetheless 

Dream betrayer: I believe in all of us

Tail: how is Renjun???

Channie: he isn't freaking tf out like last year but he's still a little more nervous

Channie: he'll be fine

Channie: Chenle has been tutoring him

Cutie: if I had just met Chenle this would not reassure me whatsoever 

Sicheng: le is a special kind of smart

Sicheng: entire formula could be wrong and he'd still come up with the right answer

 

Dream

5:17 p.m

 

Idiot sandwich: Y EQUALS MX + B

Nana: … you're a junior 

Nana: you take geometry

Idiot sandwich: well ull never kno when u will need to know that and remember that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Nana: ur also in chemistry 

[Channie is now online]

Maknae: lol I never even saw u go offline

Channie: n e ways slope is used in chemistry 

Channie: u should know this ur also in chemistry 

Channie: BECAUSE ALL OF US ARE JUNIOURS

Maknae: chenle and I aren't 

Idiot sandwich: ok sorry sophomores 

Idiot sandwich: we understand that you would like to stay with your kind

Maknae: https://66.media.tumblr.com/91dc7cb84050007361ab07fe4142c6f9/90a7fff88c1c9ce4-f8/s640x960/6b18316071bbd6ad633b44acf5a655b48112ff04.jpg

Idiot sandwich: fine shut up

[Dolphin is now online]

Dolphin: tag team roast session @maknae?

Maknae: u read my mind

Idiot sandwich: who taught them how to do this

Channie: probably Ten and Sicheng

Nana: and u both nurtured them into people who give roasts so hard I still have scars

Maknae: let's start

Maknae: whatever you did in your past life wasn't all that grand considering you came back with a hairline like that 

Dolphin: why does it look like the rocky mountains up there

Idiot sandwich: how much do I pay to keep my dignity

Dolphin: 10 dollars

Idiot sandwich: ur kidding

Dolphin: we screenshot every roast so u want us to keep going or…

Idiot sandwich: fine see you at school tomorrow

Maknae: pleasure doing business with you

Idiot sandwich: I'm going to go broke if I keep myself in this chat

Nana: you have 20 friends

Nana: they all live here

Idiot sandwich: unfortunately 

 

JenJun

5:27 p.m

 

Best Boi: 렌쥔 

Idiot sandwich: sup

Best Boi: I come over tonight?

Idiot sandwich: of course Jen

Best Boi: just for today

Best Boi: 내 엄마 집에 없어

Idiot sandwich: 괜찮아, 괜찮아 

Best Boi: she will home tomorrow

Idiot sandwich: you can come here whenever you want

Best Boi: 아니… 엄마 내일 여기

Idiot sandwich: sweetie no… 

Idiot sandwich: Jeno, please don't be in that house anymore

Best Boi: 나는 싶어

Idiot sandwich: …

Idiot sandwich: what time are you wanting to be picked up?

Best Boi: 이젠?

Idiot sandwich: I'll come with my mum

 

TaeLe

8:44 p.m

 

Dolphin: hey mom

Mom: hey! How are you?

Dolphin: ur being suspicious y do you have punctuation

Mom: ur being suspicious too

Mom: you only PM me if something happened 

Dolphin:...

Mom: ok. What's up?

Dolphin: I don't want to go to school anymore 

Dolphin: I don't want to be there 

Mom: bullying?

Dolphin: all the time

Dolphin: if I do anything it's a reason to be picked on

Dolphin: I'm a good person right? I don't spend my money on a bunch of bad stuff and I try to do a lot with it to help but it's not even really my money you know? What am I doing wrong?

Mom: nothing Lele

Mom: we know you're a good person and if they can't see it I'm sorry

Dolphin: are you sure? Don't lie to me

Mom: no Chenle do you know how lovely and kind you are?

Mom: you're stupid funny and when have you ever been one to shove money in our faces

Mom: you went out of your way to help preserve a fuckin POND 

Dolphin: no one but you guys know about it

Mom: okay but that's the point

Mom: you never go out to be so annoying about the money your family earned btw

Dolphin: but what about what I wear? And other things 

Mom: … chenle there are no other things

Mom: and you wear and uniforms

Mom: you literally wear a w a t c h

Mom: and said watch was given to you by your grandfather! 

Mom: don't think everything done to you is your fault

Dolphin: I can't 

Dolphin: because then you guys will worry and Jisung will probably try to beat them up in school

Dolphin: doesn't help that they probably will try to rob me

Mom: has that happened before?

Mom: le?

Dolphin: twice

Mom: LE

Mom: you've gotta be shitting me

Dolphin: what do I do? 

Mom: tell someone

Dolphin: none of the sophomore teachers care enough about it, I've tried

Mom: go to Mr. Kim, Nana goes to him for Jeno problems

Dolphin: you think

Mom: worth a shot

Dolphin: thank you

Mom: anytime kid

Mom: I wanna see you all grow up relatively happy

Dolphin: have a good night hyung! 我爱你!!

Mom: you too :)

 

Jaeyong

8:54 p.m

Mom: ready babe?

Square: yep! Omw

Mom: wait… haven't you already seen endgame?

Square: yeah

Square: but I didn't see it with you 

Mom: cheesy ass

Mom: luv ya

Square: love you too babe

Mom: stop texting and driving

Chapter Text

WayV

11:34 am

Yanggie: imma die tomorrow

Sicheng: I have my first class in an hour so uh wish me luck and good worry Yang ull do gr8

Dad: when has winwin ever been this nice to anyone

Sicheng: I'm nice but u only ever see me talk to Yuta 

Yanggie: hhhmmmmmmmm I wonder why

Sicheng: I wouldn't date him

Yanggie: why cause I would

Sicheng: go right ahead

Yanggie: I can't he's in love with you

Sicheng: no he isn't he's just annoying

 

Yuyang

11:36

 

Yanggie: hey are you really in love with Sicheng

Yuyu: of course how could I not he's great

 

WayV

11:36

 

Yanggie: [screenshot attached]

Sicheng: eh

Gay: he's been trying to work him since 10th grade

Gay: idk if he'll make it into Sicheng's heart

Sicheng: that's cause he's fuckin WEIRD

Henry: yangyang is weird and I keep him around

Sicheng: he's part of the satan line, what can we do?

[Chinese idiot is now online]

[Chinese idiot has changed their name to junny]

Junny: how r yall up this early

Dad: it's 11:30 

Dad: stop going to bed at 1 a.m

Junny: Tik tok is funny tho

Luke: lol I have a tik tok

God: TikTok is gr8

Junny: no one cares

Luke: no one cares about ur poor sleeping habits either

Yanggie: I don't care that you broke your elbow

Junny: isn't it 1 a.m in China

Luke: not the point 

Sicheng: all the point

Luke: why are we not focusing on Xiao Jun 

Yanggie: cause ur easier to target

Sicheng: I'm still in shock u allow them to bully u

Luke: cause everyone backs them up!!!

Gay: nah it's that u have poor comebacks

Gay: and have the mental capacity of Renjun but lacking his street smarts

Luke: what capacity 

Luke:...

Luke: that was a self inflicted roast huh

Yanggie: 100%

Junny: unfortunately 

Luke: I'm constantly bullied

Gay: we luv u

Luke: 不对

God:我门愛你

Gay: 对

Luke: 不对

Yanggie: 对你蟋蟀

Luke: that was the nicest way I've ever been called a cricket 

Sicheng: have we ever been rude to you?

God: yes….

Luke: all the fuckin time

Yanggie: nooooo

Junny: when have we e v e r

Luke: yall are so annoying go study

Sicheng: study whomst

Dad: who is she?? Haven't heard of her

Junny: Lucas listen, since ur going to have a lovely time in frickin CHINA 

Junny: but we need to take our finals before school is over

Dad: this is the worst advice imma give u

Dad: but listen

Dad: u either know it or u won't so pls just try ur best and live life

Sicheng: studying sounds like so much work

Dad: exactly

Dad: so just y e e t

Yanggie: dad don't say yeet

Dad: I'm not ur dad

[Dad has changed their name to kun-kat]

Sicheng: n o

Gay: put it back

Junny: retuurrnnn

 

Ot21 

11:46 

 

Tail: Kun wanna go out? 

Kun-kat: what

Tail: a new coffee shop opened wanna go

Yuyu: I'm quaking 

Yuyu: it's time

Tail: since we have finals we can go study a bit

Kun-kat: sure! I mean I wouldn't mind! 

Tail: wait

Tail: I've got admin rights @mom

Mom: yeah, why

[Tail has changed Kun-kat name to Dad]

Tail: okay I'm good now

Tail: see you at 2 maybe?

Dad: I can pick u up if u want

Tail: I'll walk dw

Dad: nah I'll come get u

Tail: aw 谢谢

Dad: of course

 

WayV

11:48

 

Sicheng: BROOOOO

Junny: oh my God I'm this close to screaming

Gay: u secured it my guy

Dad: it's just studying lol

Luke: ur screaming on the inside huh

Dad: no

Sicheng: I share a room with him I watched him throw the pillow over his face

Dad: no u don't u just decided to OWN MY BED FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS

Sicheng: u room on ur own!

Dad: u and Ten don't even frickin live here!!!

Dad: stop stealing my room!!

Sicheng: we r here because now we pay less for housing as long as we help the kids in school and also write some bullshit on why the school is good every year

Dad: w-what

Dad: I had to apply to PRACTICALLY BE AN R A 

Dad: for these losers

Yanggie: lying

Dad: no??

Yanggie: didn't u request for Xiao Jun and I

Dad: u 2 aren't the losers

Dad: but no fr I could only request 2 and I didn't know u kids that well

Gay: ok back to the main point

Gay: GO KUN GET THAT DICCKKKK

Henry: millions upon millions of word choices

Henry: and u picked that combination 

 

Yuta, Kun, Sicheng, Ten, and Mark

12:09

 

Yuyu: OK

Yuyu: THAT WAS ALMOST A CLUTCH

Gay: IK

Gay: I WAS SO READY TO HUG THE GUY

Dad: I should be hugged anyway

Dream betrayer: why is Kun one of the only people here who is suave enough to take what he gets and have it help him in the long run

Sicheng: because Kun has so much bde 

God: lmao y’all could never

Sicheng: I could never

Yuyu: uve got bde hun uwu

Sicheng: I'm gonna slap you

Dream betrayer: yuta has a pain kink

Yuyu: yep so yeah come slap me

Sicheng: if I breathe he has a kink oh my God

Yuyu: ur my kink

God: that’s gey

Sicheng: ANY WAYS

Sicheng: this ain't the point

Sicheng: the point is KUN IS ABOUT TO GET TAEIL PEEPEE

Sicheng: btw it's pretty good dick

Gay: u still remember 

Dream betrayer: I wish I was still in hs so u guys would actually have a filter 

Sicheng: taeil peepee 15/10 would stay a bottom for him

Yuyu: u just… u just gonna shit on my feels huh

Gay: wow

Dad: Why am I in a gc that's about yall being invested in my not yet relationship

Gay: not yet wow

Gay: kun is bold bold

Sicheng: like I said BDE

Dad: I don't know how I feel about this

God: this is so gay wth

Sicheng: should we add Haechan 

Sicheng: he is invested

Yuyu: no then he and Mark will be gay

Gay: we let you in here

Yuyu: fine

[Gay has added Channie to the chat]

Gay: rule, no severe gay shit

Gay: 2, this is to help Kun get dicked and only that

Gay: 3, if ur not gonna help send memes

Channie: hey!

Channie: did u know God is here

Sicheng: let Kun get dicked @God 

Channie: n e ways HI KUN GET THAT D

Dad: why do you do this

Dad: I'm fine

Channie: ok ur bde can only take u so far cause ur an idiot at times

Sicheng: see! Hyuk is smart

Channie: u got bde but ur oblivious to everything 

Dad: not true

Dad: if Taeil told me he liked me I'd know

Channie: lol no u won't 

Dream betrayer: you would think that since u are head over heels that you would realize that he probably likes u too

Dad: he really doesn't 

Gay: @Sicheng is he… is he stupid

Sicheng: possibly…

Dad: has he said he's liked me before?

Yuyu: not explicitly but when does that ever happen

Yuyu: I'm pretty sure he does

Dad: then why aren't you making a gc for his gay agenda??

Gay: wish I could but Taeil gets around so he would know what was up

Sicheng: in our fren group he's dated me, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Johnny, 10, Yong, and had a brief stint with Jungwoo

Dad: dam so I'd be boyfriend number 8?

Gay: number 16 actually

Gay: the others just don't live here

Sicheng: don't let that deter u tho cause he a big squishy ball and sweet

Yuyu: didn't he push Johnny out the window

Sicheng: of a one story and u were there so Johnny was fine

Yuyu: what I'm trying to get at is that I would never push u out of a window

Sicheng: no we r not getting together

Yuyu: we will eventually 

Sicheng: and the thing I said still stands

Sicheng: I'll change my name when I date u

Yuyu: to WHAT?

Sicheng: Winko cause then you'd deserve it

Yuyu: Wow REALLY

Sicheng: yes

Sicheng: now let's get back to operation Taekun

Dad: Taekun?

Gay: it was either that or operation getD

Dad: ok I take Taekun 

Dad: so… operation Taekun is a go?

Dream betrayer: not quite rn

Channie: now, we wait

Dad: wait for what

Channie: more shit for Taeil to say

 

Ot21

3:54 p.m

 

Tail: ok so the coffee shop was great I'm going to get addicted

Dad: no or I won't take u back anymore 

Tail: so if I don't go back today we can go tomorrow?

Dad: this is how addictions start

Chicago: where is it? 

Tail: as if

Tail: that would'nt be fetch

Mom: pls stop trying to push the mean girls agenda and saying fetch

 

Operation Taekun 

3:54

 

Sicheng: KUN SECURED MORE DATES

Gay: HE'S GOT THE MOST GAAMMMEEE

 

Ot21

3:55

 

Tail: n e ways i feel pretty good about tomorrow

Mom: who has finals friday?

Idiot sandwich: all of dream + mark is it I think

Best Boi: and Johnny

Chicago: glad someone remembers 

Best Boi: luv you

Chicago: love u too Jen

Nana: I LOVE YOU MORE JENO 정말 사랑해요 제노제노제노제노제노

Best Boi: ㅋㅋㅋ 알아요 I love everyone!! All of you!!

Best Boi: love you to Jaemin

Best Boi: 'to' 화 'too' 달라?

Tail: JENO ENGLISH LESSON TIMEEE

Nana: ye

Nana: so to is indicating like where ur going "I'm going to the movies" and also like time? I guess. "I'll be there from five to six" okay?

Best Boi: 예제: tomorrow I will go to school

Tail: good!

Nana: yep

Nana: 'too' '도' 처럼 

Nana: "I like pizza too"

Best Boi: 예제: I will go to school too

Nana: good! 

Best Boi: okay ㅇㅠㅇ

Best Boi: I will talk in English more to get better

Best Boi: I can read so need to learn writing and speaking

Mom: don't stress about it dude! Ur doing great

Best Boi: I am trying to studying now

Best Boi: my brain take info and said

Best Boi: YEET

Best Boi: (맞아?)

Nana: (맞아)

Chicago: Jen did not just say yeet

Tail: Jeno's 1st correctly used meme

Mom: I'm a proud grandpa

Mom: @dream betrayer LOOK AT UR SON

Dream betrayer: MY SON

Best Boi: I'm ur son?

Dream betrayer: yesss

Dream betrayer: I love my son the meme was accurate

Channie: jeno is too adorable sometimes I think imma die

Mom: ok but back to what I was attempting to say

Mom: on Friday since everyone will be officially done, when dreamies and baby WayV get out of school y'all wanna go out for pizza?

Henry: buffet? 

Mom: like cici's? I mean it's stupid cheap so yeah why not

Mom: minors check it over with ur parents and we will pick u guys up after school

 

Taekun

4:06

 

Tail: hey Kun

Dad: yeah?

Tail: thank u, seriously

Tail: I haven't really gotten that much time to study or hang out so today was like a mix of both

Dad: don't gotta thank me, I've been talking to my roommates a lot since Yangyang panics easily

Dad: this was fun

Tail: :) I just wanted to thank you personally since the main chance is too rowdy

Dad: Jeno can do that to you

Tail: lol ur not wrong

Tail: but no fr you were lovely today thank you

Dad: again, no need for you to be thanked

Dad: you were really fun to be with 

Tail: so does that mean we can do this again sometime?

Dad: I was gonna say Friday but I guess we're all going out for pizza

Tail: Saturday? U wanna go to the museum of fine arts since ur a art major?

Dad: how do u know that

Tail: u said it once

Tail: u wanna go

Dad: why not, sounds fun! 

Tail: I'll pay for the tickets this time

Dad: u don't have to

Tail: I can't hear you over the sound of me going to the museum website now

Dad: ㅋㅋㅋ alright then

 

Operation Taekun 

4:13

 

Dad: [screenshot attached]

Channie: HOLY SHIT

Channie: DAD YESSSS

Dad: don't call me dad

Gay: imma cry u don't even need our help

Dad: what we're just going out to a museum cause of my major

Sicheng: nvm

Gay: u need our help

God: IF THIS GROUPCHAT AINT THE GAYEST SHIT LMAOOOO I LOVE THIS

Channie: God said the agrees

Dad: @God don't encourage them

Chapter Text

Ot21:

5:15

 

Dad: has anyone seen Yangyang?

Luke: Chasing Linkai with a baguette 

Luke: why??

Luke: because Linkai didn't give him attention

Yuyu: lol

Gay: I also need attention or will chase people with a baguette 

Chicago: true

Chicago: also aren't u supposed to be at work

Gay: no one is HERE 

Gay: nothing MATTERS

Tail: how did you do on ur final?

Gay: fuckin amazing

Gay: really

Gay: this one was easy

Chicago: you and Sicheng both do excessive texts when ur being both sarcastic and honest but excited so now I'm confused

Gay: I passed this shit tbh

Gay: but I HATE this JOB

Gay: I'm GOING to EXPLODE

Tail: I too hate my job

Chicago: aren't you…

Chicago: ALSO AT WORK

Tail: because I work at the exact same place as 10 but different area

Tail: NO ONE IS HERE 

Yanggie: anyway 

Yanggie: hitting Linkai didn't have the effect I wanted cause he really just ended up eating the bread

Junny: Linkai will eat anything

Yanggie: but I luv him

Yanggie: so nice my cousin is

Idiot sandwich: he's your real cousin?

Yanggie: 2nd cousin but closer than most

Sicheng: due to personal reasons I will never talk to anyone but 10 again

Gay: test?

Sicheng: just death

Sicheng: CLAIM ME GRIM REAPER

Tail: we all back on our bs of wanting to die

Doughnut: DEATH

Sicheng: why the hell was chemistry so hard??? I knew I should've taken it in hs

Yuyu: aw I'm sure you did good babe

Sicheng: thx to the attempt to cheer me up but no to babe

Yuyu: we'll get there

Sicheng: no we won't 

Tail: banter makes Sicheng feel better, continue to be annoying

Sicheng: pls no

Yuyu: ily tho

Sicheng: declined

Yuyu: one of these days ur not gonna reject me cause I luv u

Sicheng: I'm rejecting that statement

Yuyu: ^*^ mwah

Sicheng: no

Tail: I know for a frickin fact if the 5 most important couples make that then we will get 5 different results

Doughnut: who r the 5 couples

Tail: Yuwin, Johnten, Jaeyong, Markhyuk, and NoMin

Sicheng: We are not a couple

Yuyu: IT'S FATE

Tail: n e ways I'm rite tho

Chicago: ^*^ mwah

Gay: take me to ur bedroom and kiss me for real you heathen as I decide if I'm still upset or not

Dolphin: that was in no way called for

Chicago: after ur work 

Gay: imma guess we ain't making it to the bedroom

Yanggie: that's enough of that

Square: ^*^ mwah 

Mom: ^*^ mwah²

Channie: ^*^ mwah 

Dream betrayer: luv u bby, let's take over countries together

Nana: ^*^ mwah 

Best Boi: ^-^ 사랑해 재민이. 난 항상 사랑해

Nana: awh bby I love you too! Ur gonna make me cry I'll always love you

Tail: out of these 5 couples, only 2 r actually dating, one is in denial, the other is currently repulsed, and the other is cuter than the two dating couples combined

Channie: not even mad

Channie: topping Jaemin's love for Jeno is the hardest stuff

Nana: imma date Jen, just wait

Nana: when it is mcsafe

Dad: ngl Nomin doesn't seem like they're ever gonna break up

Best Boi: we never break up!!! Yaayy!!!

Nana: YAAY!!!!

Best Boi: can I make joke?

Best Boi: you would call 'dirty joke'? 

Mom: @Tail how do u feel about this

Tail: I wanna see so I'll allow it

Best Boi: Chan said 'Topping Jaemin's love is the hardest stuff' but I top Jaemin all the time

Idiot sandwich: OK SO JAEMIN IS HERE AR MY HOUSE RIGHT

Idiot sandwich: THE BLUSH ON HIS FACE IS WIILLDDD

Mom: my grandson is a top??? Wow

Dream betrayer: that joke was wild 

Gay: Jeno is power bottom at BEST

Gay: be honest Jeno do u top

Tail: I DON'T WANNA KNOW

Best Boi: what is power bottom?

Gay:...

Doughnut:...

Chicago: it's 10

Gay: Google it sweetie

Sicheng: bow I'm intrigued 

Sicheng: we all do know that Jeno and Min are virgins tho right??? Like that shit hasn't changed???

Sicheng: right????

Nana: yes yes yes calm down. Me and Jeno have not fooled around yet

Tail: YET

Dream betrayer: MY SON

Nana: dam

Best Boi: I Google

Best Boi: power bottom is me

Nana: ik

Gay: one of us one of us

Mom: are there even more power bottoms in the group?

Tail: me w/ enough convincing to not top

Sicheng: sure didn't take a lot for me

Yuyu: that's the sound of my heart breaking

Tail: anything for u Winwin ;)

Yuyu: this is gross

Sicheng: u literally asked me to tie you up like 2 days ago

Yuyu: I ASKED 

Dad: isn't ok Cheng we all know ur into that

Sicheng: I'm going to strangle u

Dad: exactly

Yuyu: strangle me

[Junny has gone offline]

Sicheng: Yuta ur scARING THE CHILDREN

Yuyu: he's yelling

Yuyu: I am finally an equal

Mom: finally

Chicago: it is happening

Chicago: it has finally begun 

Yuyu: my time

Yuyu: Sicheng will you go out with me?

Sicheng: hm….

Sicheng: no

Yuyu: BUT HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT

Sicheng: n-no?

Chicago: HE STUTTERED 

Mom: OOOOOOHHHHH

Sicheng: gross

Sicheng: Yuta imma pass

Yuyu: SOON IT WILL NO LONGER PASS

Sicheng: ok… good luck

[God is online]

God: WHATS POPPIN BITC- I mean hello sons

Channie: God is here

Best Boi: hi god!!!!

God: hi sweetie!!!!!

Sicheng: why is he only here when something stupid happens

Channie: cause you only believe in him if something stupid happens

Cutie: lol what if God turns out to be Hansol

Yuyu: RIP Hansol, my homie

Nana: may he forever be in our hearts

Tail: he rests well

Sicheng: we always miss him

Idiot sandwich: y'all really like acting like Hansol is dead and just didn't move schools

Cutie: homie is dead

God: shh

God: but if I was Hansol I wouldn’t be smart enough to make only the religious ones see me

God: does Hansol even know who’s religious?

Channie: of course he does

Channie: hansol is a genius

God:....... y’all have been lied to

Cutie: **was

Mom: yall are fucking annoying

Idiot sandwich: u adopted us

Idiot sandwich: ur fault

Dad: Haha RIP Taeyong 

Mom: ur name… is dad

Mom: therefore ur also in there adopting them

Dad: dam

Dad: how do I return everyone but Sicheng and Jeno and Mark

Nana: and me

Nana: Jeno want me to come with u?

Best Boi: 네네네네ㅔㅔㅔㅔㅔ!!!!!

God: UWU

Dad: ok and Min

Best Boi: oh! Mark come pick me up please

Best Boi: at apartment stair

Mark: ok, my car is in the shop so @square come get Jen and drop him off here?

Square: duh

Tail: fr has anyone actually spoken to Hansol via ouija board recently

Sicheng: last I heard of him he ate a cake for his birthday 

Yuyu: and then he died

Sicheng: of course

Yuyu: (@Chicago was that agreement)

Chicago: (yeh)

Yuyu: Sicheng ily

God: gay

Sicheng: access denied 

Mom: wait so does that mean if anyone else says they love Sicheng it's allowed?

Chicago: sicheng ily

Sicheng: access to that portion of my heart denied

Dream betrayer: sicheng ily 

Sicheng: access to that portion of my heart denied 

Best Boi: sicheng ily 

God: if you deny this-

Sicheng: access has been granted

Gay: sicheng ily

Sicheng: ha loser

Sicheng: ly2

Gay: this proves I am the superior form of human

God: no it’s just that sicheng is also gay

Idiot sandwich: does Sicheng even love anyone

Cutie: homie have u seen urself

Idiot sandwich: I am aro but that does not make me incapable of feeling platonic love

Nana: don't you have like alexithymia or summat

Idiot sandwich: don't you have like ugly kid syndrome 

Nana: no that would be Lucas

God: I mean you’re not wr-

[Luke is now online]

Luke: WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YALL

Nana: isn't it 6 a.m in China 

Luke: I gotta go to work at 7

Luke: but why am I constantly bullied

Idiot sandwich: 因为你是疯了

Luke: that isn't a valid argument

Luke: screw y'all I'm going to work

Idiot sandwich: who gave u a job

Cutie: pls stop bullying my boyfriend

Nana: only cause we love Jungwoo we will

Nana: for now

Luke: thx bby ily @cutie

Cutie: then come baacckk

Luke: it is legit 3 more days hold on

Cutie: fine

Sicheng: this is gay and disgusting

Yuyu: this could be us if you just said yes

Sicheng: hey Taeil wanna get back together

Yuyu:NO

Luke: the speed that was sent amazes me

Nana: yuta is wild

Tail: @sicheng I would but alas, someone owns my heart

[Dad is now online]

Dad: aw Taeil has a crush

 

Operation Taekun 

 

Dad: fUck

 

Ot21

Tail: yeh but idk if he likes me back

Tail: I'll have to muster up the courage and ask one day

Tail: maybe after finals or first day of summer

Dad: that would be cute, first day of summer

Nana: this is gey

Tail: 55% of this chat is GAY

Tail: the rest is bi

Dad: straight ppl don't exist here

Idiot sandwich: is that why Hansol left

Channie: *died

Channie: he couldn't handle the gay and absolutely disintegrated

Channie: sounds legit right

Yuyu: totally

Chapter Text

Dream

12:04 am

 

Maknae: it's time to D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL

Idiot sandwich: go to bed

Maknae: alas I cannot sleep

Maknae: Chenle is supposed to be breaking into my house tonite

Maknae: oh! He's here!

Maknae: [photo attachment]

Nana: WHY

Channie: at this hour???

Dolphin: I'm easily bored and decided to pop by

Channie: ur mum is gonna kill u

Dolphin: not if she thinks I've been there all day and she forgot about it

Idiot sandwich: 你风了吗?

Dolphin: 对! 

Nana: y'all woke up Jeno!! 

Best boi: don't believe that

Best boi: I was up

Nana: he was almost asleep kids, like all nuzzled up it's cute

Nana: [photo attachment]

God: UWU

Maknae: jeno hyung is the true maknae 

Idiot sandwich: I'm gonna actually have feelings in my heart I'm scared

Nana: keep ur feelings to urself

Channie: homeslice is jealous quickkkk 

Best Boi: ㅋㅋㅋ

God: what’s poppin kiddos

God: I haven’t slept in 3 days

Channie: [screenshot attached]

Nana: God go to bed how r u gonna help ppl if u sleep deprived

God: no

Best Boi: right

Maknae: we can stay up cause we're not getting anywhere in life

God: I mean he’s not wrong but jokes on you I am not on earth HA!

Best Boi: nooooo

Best Boi: we will be good people! Good nice success people

God: yes you will 

Channie: **good nice successful people

God: THAT WAS UWU

Best Boi: thanks

Nana: this is the most English jen has used once in a chat ever

Nana: go to bed jen

Best Boi: not tired yet

God: go to bed

Nana: u were legit half asleep like 29 seconds ago

Best Boi: 넌 잠 나랑었어

Best Boi: 그것 때문에 

Channie: DAAAMM

Maknae: nana sleeping w/ Jenooo

Dolphin: that's gay 

God: that’s gay

Nana: just sleeping! Only sleeping!!

Best Boi: duh

Best Boi: [screenshot attached]

Best Boi: we cute

Idiot sandwich: my heart

God: same

Maknae: every time jen uses a meme or stan twt phrase correctly I am in love

God: Jen is the best thing I’ve ever done

Idiot sandwich: okay as leader of the dream gc I'm saying we shouldn't stay up any longer given the fact tomorrow Chenle and Jisung both have finals today later

Dolphin: u rite

Dolphin: we be cramming

Maknae: stop lying we are literally playing uno rn

Dolphin: draw four heathen

Maknae: …

Maknae: give me the bff pass back then

Dolphin: just plAY

Maknae: *I'm about to ruin this whole man's career *

Dolphin: …

Nana: well what happened?

Nana: now I'm invested!

Maknae: I ruined his whole career like I said

Maknae: I made HIM draw four, then draw another four, skipped him, then made him draw 2 twice, skipped him again, played a YELLOW REVERSE CARD, then my last card was a draw four

God: dui it was funny I saw

Dolphin: …

Dolphin: he hates me

Dolphin: n e way I don't wanna play anymore

Maknae: loser

Nana: gnite

Best Boi: good nite

God: good night!!

[Best Boi is now offline]

Channie: me 2

[Channie is now offline]

[Dolphin is now offline]

Maknae: he's just upset

[Maknae is now offline]

Idiot sandwich: nana go to bed

Nana: wait

 

MarkMin 

12: 27 am

 

Nana: hey loser

[Screenshot attached]

God: UWU

Nana: he is doing good

Dream betrayer: that's cuteee 

Dream betrayer: yall are all snuggled up

Nana: goodnight hyung

Dream betrayer: see u in the morning

Nana: it is morning

Dream betrayer: shut up

 

Dream 

12:28

 

Nana: okay 

[Nana is now offline]

Idiot sandwich: thank God

God: ur welcome

[Idiot sandwich is now offline]

 

Ot21

3:22 p.m

 

Cutie: lol Lucas isn't here is he gonna be mad at us for going to cici's

Luke: nah, just sad I'm missing out

Cutie: it is literally 4 a.m in China what r u doing m8

Gay: we don't care about Lucas's feels

Doughnut: when have we ever

Luke: I am constantly disrespected

God: yes you are

God: it’s ok tho like Timmy said everything is temporary 

God: #timmy2020

God: also I have a temporary kidz bop tattoo 

Mom: not to be a fuckin ass but I think God is wack

Sicheng: reasonable 

Yuyu: Sicheng! How are you

Sicheng: I'm good

Sicheng: why are you like this

Yuyu: I haven't even done anything

Sicheng: that's what I fear

Sicheng: normally u ask me to bang u but uh… u just told me hi

Chicago: so u would prefer him to be wack

Sicheng: well no 

Chicago: then Y did u call this weird

Sicheng: oh shut up

Mom: awe he misses u

Sicheng: no shut up

Yuyu: oh you miss me!

Sicheng: look what yall have done

Yuyu: ily

Sicheng: why do you guys ruin me

Tail: I'll see you guys a lil latter I gotta go to Dream's school cause SOMEONE got detention and cicis is farr

Gay: was it Chenle

Luke: chenle?

Yuyu: chenle again probs

Tail: yep, y'all wanna guess why?

Sicheng: screaming

Tail: ding ding ding we got a winner

Mom: he's so IMPULSIVE

Tail: dw it'll be fine

 

Ot21

5:09 PM 

 

Tail: is everyone there?

Mom: pretty much

Tail: u kno me and Chenle would be here too

Dolphin: I'm SORRY

Tail: imPULSIVE

Idiot sandwich: you are pulsive?

Tail: shut up

Idiot sandwich: I'm funny

Idiot sandwich: laugh

Dolphin: no

Idiot sandwich: LAUGH

Dolphin: hahaha

Idiot sandwich: good enough 

Channie: question

Mom: wat

Channie: have you ever seen Renjun try to kill you via looks

Chicago: not to me personally 

Chicago: but yes

Mom: never once to me or Taeil 

Idiot sandwich: I don't want to lose my life why would I

Tail: see he's so smart

Idiot sandwich: but yeah I didn't know I held that much power

 

OG gc

5:12 

 

Gay: okay kids place ur bets

Dream betrayer: chenle or Jungwoo is gonna eat the most, 5$ 

Mom: nah m8

Mom: def Johnny, 12$ 

Gay: wow we going BOLD BOLD hours

Doughnut: winwin, 7$ 

Square: doyoung that's always your bet

Doughnut: but Jaehyun is it wrong

Square: tail 5$ 

Gay: poor decision, kun is here he isn't gonna eat much

Square:... u rite 

Square: Imma say our boi Hendery same amount

Gay: satan line, 5$ 

Gay: ok so 29$, n e one wanna give 1 more to make an even 30$

Dream betrayer: ok

Gay: now we wait

 

OG gc

7:22 PM

 

Mom: bro wtf

Mom: how did they fit that much food into their MOUTHS

Gay: sweet sweet 30 bucks

Dream betrayer: oh fuck y'all 

Square: u picked 3 ppl that's unfair

Gay: they still ate more than any 3 u could've picked

Doughnut: true

Gay: n e way I'm getting home via Johnny car byeee 

Square: I was supposed to get home with Taeil back 2 our apartment rite

Square: but someone is getting a ride with KUN

Square: so now I'm gonna go complain on the main chat

 

Ot21

 

Square: MOON TAEIL

Square: I DON'T CARE WHAT IS HAPPENING 

Square: DROP ME FUCKING OFF WHERE ARE YOU

Tail: already gone

Square: OH FUCK U

Mom: #ripjaehyun

Dolphin: #ripjaehyun

Maknae: #ripjaehyun

Mom: u can get a ride back w/ me babe

Mom: imma drop of Jeno and then u can stay at my place today

Henry: Kun

Henry: Kun

Henry: Kun

Henry: Kun

Dad: what

Henry: YOU HAVE THE KEY

Sicheng: so do I

Henry: oh ok nvm 

 

Hendery + Kun

 

Henry: go get dicked lol

 

Chapter Text

Ot21

2:41

 

Gay: so kids

Gay: I know we thought I couldn't get any gayer whatsoever

God: plz don’t tell me you’re gonna actually 

Junny: what did you do

Luke: it's 3 41 a.m here why are you here

Gay: shut up and mute us then loser

Chicago: anyway wat did u do

Gay: nothing yet

Gay: but!

Channie: but what

Gay: I'm gonna get acrylics 

Sicheng: n O

Gay: I'm already in the place

Gay: they're gonna be gr8 bye byeee

God: oh no

 

5:43 

God: do y’all ever just like look at something and say “holy crap I did good work” cuz same

God: should I sleep? Wait do I even need sleep half of the world is up and fu- messed up they laik need help….

God: eh that’s tuff

mom: someone broke god

Gay: I was gonna show my nails but um this is a little more confusing

God: nice nails btw

Tail: it did not take 3 hours for nails

Gay: I saw sehun so we went for food

Chicago: oh

Chicago: where did yall go?

Gay: eh some restaurant in the mall 

God: I haven’t slept in 15 decades..

Chicago: did it taste good

[Sicheng is now online]

[square is now online]

[Doughnut is now online]

Sicheng: (someone is jealous)

Square: (lol aint he always)

God: (lmao)

Doughnut: n e ways send pics of the nails

Gay: [image attached] 

Sicheng: oh they’re cute!

God: told you

Gay: did u expect ugly?

Square: no but we were still scared

God: lmao me



6:14

 

God: look at what Satan tweeted 

God:https://66.media.tumblr.com/3b9e480f85795a68cb59f4142754935f/25aabced06d8b0ab-50/s640x960/759126163f5d7855030732177a628906bcaaccd9.jpg

God: see what y’all did now Satan wants to raid heaven thanks a lot

Channie: everytime god texts first im scared

idiot sandwich: what did he send?

channie: [screenshot attached]

Yanggie: dammit renjun u werent supposed to tweet our plan

idiot sandwich: y r yall always calling me satan

dream betrayer: but r we wrong

God: what he said

idiot sandwich: bitch

[idiot sandwich has now been suspended for 10 minutes]

Dolphin: IN OTHER NEWS

Dolphin: yall last day of school is thurs catch me acting a fool

God: you’re always acting like a fool

Mom: god came for u

Dolphin: do I really wanna know

idiot sandwich: broooo @nana @bestboi @channie we finna be seniors

Channie: broooo

Best Boi: yay!!! college soon!!

[nana is now online] 

Nana: wat

Nana: oh

Nana: the future is scary but I got my homie jeno

God: w-what if college breaks him? ಥ_ಥ

God: on a different note English is weird and whoever translated the chistian bible to English is no good of a translator and should be fired I swear 

Channie: w-what

mom: I’m sorry WHAT @god

Sicheng: do I wanna know

Mom: eh the bible is weird and translated odd yadda yadda

Yuta: I’m dead inside

God: at least ur alive somehow 

Sicheng: why

Chicago: aw he cares

Sicheng: shut up

Yuyu: the dumbass jerks that live next to my apartment found out my human geography final grades

God: oh the 10/58 you mean

Tail: I”LL BEAT THEM UP WHO

Tail: I’LL JACK THEIR SHIT UP

Mom: WHO HURT MY SON

Dad: WHO HURT OUR SON

Yuyu: thx mom and dad

God: soft

Yuyu: but I'll be fine

Yuyu: I'll just do better next year and then throw a rock in their window when I feel like it

Mom: good

Yanggie: r we condoning Yuta getting arrested for property damage

Dad: it seems so

Yanggie: sounds valid

 

Yuwin

8:33

 

Sicheng: yuta

Sicheng: yuta

Sicheng: hey

Sicheng: ik ur up

Yuyu: u never spam who took Sicheng's phone

Sicheng: shut up

Yuyu: ok it's Sicheng

Sicheng: I'm just here to ask if ur 100% good after that

Sicheng: just wondering

Yuyu: aw

Sicheng: ew

Yuyu: but thanks for checking, I'm fine though

Yuyu: gotta roll with the punches and through rocks at windows ya know

Sicheng: don't actually throw rocks

Yuyu: now I'm sad

Yuyu: disappointed 

Sicheng: but if human geo was a problem I took that class as an ap one 

Yuyu: r u offering to tutor me

[Sicheng has now gone offline]

 

Johnny+Yuta

 

Yuyu: [screenshot attached]

Yuyu: HE WAS BEING NICE TO ME

Chicago: wild

[Chicago’s name has been changed to Chicago pizza]

God: you are welcome 

Chicago pizza: Yuta.

Chicago pizza: did u just change my name

Yuyu: what? I don't even have admin rights to do that

 

Ot21 

8:43

 

Chicago pizza: WHO CHANGED MY NAME

[Chicago pizza has now changed their name to Chicago]

Mom: @ I oop-

Gay: lmao it wasn't that deep chill

Chicago: I have to consult the magic conch shell before I ever have a name change

Mom:para de hablarle a mierda falsa y barata idiota

God: I love messing with people :) anyway on to part 2

[god has changed Gay’s name to —]

God: let’s see if y’all get this one 

---: WHO TOUCHED MY NAME

---: WHY AM I A STRAIGHT LINE

Idiot sandwich: ooh

Idiot sandwich: I just got it

Dad: congratulations 10 ur now het

Junny: and u know what happened to the last het in our gc

Square: he got disintegrated 

---: I'M GOING TO GO MAKE OUT WITH JOHNNY JUST TO PROVE ALL OF YOU GUYS WRONG

God: he’s running to his house y’all wtf did I do I’m scared

God:should I?

God: should I change it?

God: can someone Tell Chicago pizza to tell him “lmao it wasn’t that deep chill” to him after/ if the name is changed

God: anyway my telenovela is up I’ll be back in 2 hours 

[God is now offline]

Doughnut: ok kids

Doughtnut: yall know how I live right next to john

Mom: please dont tell me

Doughnut: they're probably finna fuck

Doughnut: @dad I'm coming over there the walls in Johnny's apartment are thin

Chicago: that's why I'm moving

Chicago: but I'm not packing quite yet

[Chicago is now offline]

Doughnut: @dad KUN 

Dad: u can come

Chapter Text

Ot21

1:10 am

Dolphin: https://66.media.tumblr.com/d2c8e7963c1ef42ec82ecbf9950b3dba/6212c721827101c2-59/s640x960/a8a0d05036b5f874150653b8f61e2fdd8409afcc.gif

Dolphin:https://66.media.tumblr.com/6f01b23da241a2a25ed45519875018a0/e6d880d493a88c37-5f/s640x960/9a14b6950d6397850a9bbdccf0f001208d201c86.gif

Dolphin: I LET THEM INTO MY PENTHOUSE ONCE

Tail: that was ur fault

Dolphin: imma need to fuckin clean ALL this shit

Johnny: Yong is high 

Dolphin: WHO GAVE MY MOM DRUGS

Cutie: everyone is high

Gay: I'm not

Gay: that's why I'm not in there

Gay: I'm just here

Chicago: lol dolphin where ake u???

Chicago: also mom is teashed

Dolphin: WHAT

Dream betrayer: huh? 

Dream betrayer: what is happening

Sicheng: ur all drunk and high but I wasn't invited?? Wild

Gay: SICHENG ur here in the corner

Sicheng: but was I INVITED

Mom: yeh

Chicago: nop

Dolphin: I let mom, John, woo, hyuk, and Yuta in how did you 2 come

Yuyu: CHENgie is here? Wheere?

Sicheng: hiding from u

Cutie: but u just asked me where Yuta went 5 minotes ago

Mom: that's not how u spell minuet idiot

Gay: that's not right either

Channie: Haha none of yall can spell

Maknae: isn't weed illegal in Texas?

Chicago: no one needs to knooow

God: y’all are a disgrace 

Channie: God said DISGRACE

Tail: WAIT

Tail: YOU LET HAECHAN IN @Dolphin?

Dolphin:... oh shit

Channie: it's ok I'm not drinking 

Sicheng: I'm watching him

Luke: hello what the fuck

Luke: what the absolute fruck

Yanggie: it's getting wild

Luke: y'all are crossfaded

Luke: WITHOUT ME

Luke: aw I just landed and yall party

Channie: we can do wit u too when u come back into town

Dad: THIS IS STILL NOT GOOD

Dad: @dolphin who else is in ur penthouse and where are ur parents? 

Dolphin: bruh my parents left the moment school ended YESTERDAY and in this part there is no one else and I'm not even there

Dolphin: I'm at Jisung's and these vids are from 10

Gay: I'm drunk Donghyum stoned rest crossfaded but chengje is normal

Sicheng: no one is being driven home I'm only here to make sure no one drowns in Chenle's pool

Sicheng: @dolphin 你不这里为什么?

Dolphin: 因为,为什么我想在哪里为什么?

Sicheng: 因为它是你的家!

Idiot sandwich: Cheng how can u be watching if ur texting

Sicheng: I just watched yong go into the pool and managed to pull him back while texting

Sicheng: I'm fine Renjun 

Sicheng: also @gay aren't u supposed to be helping me?

Sicheng:...

Dream betrayer: what happened

Sicheng: he's dancing around with them, he's hella drunk

Dream betrayer: I just came back from heating up pasta 

Dream betrayer: why the fuck is Donghyuk there?

Channie: I'm fine babe calm ur tits

Dream betrayer: UR STONED

Channie: yep! Shit's wild

[Channie has been suspended for 10 minutes]

Dream betrayer: fuck fuck fuckeroni

Sicheng: I promised to watch them Mark, if I say he's fine he is fine 

 

12:02 PM

 

Chicago: where THE FUCK AM I

Dolphin: ok losers ur all awake

Gay: yeah

Gay: Yuta is throwing up in the toilet but yeah

Sicheng: he is? 

Dolphin: n e ways u guys are all at my penthouse and u threw a party

Cutie: judging from lack of shit thrown about this room I consider this party WEAK

God: kinda was seen way better

Dolphin: shut the frick up Jungwoo

Mom: ok yeah everything is very clean lele and I have no clue why

Sicheng: that's because u yelled at all of them like around 4 a.m to put away things

Yuyu: oh Sicheng's here

Sicheng: u already forgot?

Sicheng: n e ways Yong u cleaned up after that and I helped because u were still drunk but trying ur best

Dolphin: so I can go back to living in my home?

Sicheng: for the most part yes

Dolphin: not if anyone got f**ked 

Sicheng: then come back tomorrow cause johnten 

 

ChenJaeNo

1:44

Dolphin: hey frens

Dolphin: tomorrow you guys can come over if u wanna and stay as long as u want

Nana: thx Le, but I'm going to Florida for about a week tomorrow remember?

Dolphin: rite

Dolphin: Wbu jen?

Best Boi: 미안 하지만, 안돼 

Nana: Jen, please

Dolphin: yeah it would be pretty good, and really fun!

Dolphin: we can hang all day and spend time in my pool and do whatever pretty much

Best Boi: 아… 몰라

Best Boi: my mom you know

Dolphin: Come on, you don't even want to be there! 

Dolphin: She keeps doing all types if stuff to you and now you have time to get out for a little!

Best Boi: 야!

Dolphin: or you could come in with an unreasonable amount of evidence and get out of that house anyway! Renjun tells you all the time you can live there but you never say yes!

Best Boi: CHENLE

Best Boi: stop please

Nana: Lele don't… 

Dolphin: 미안해 젠, 나는화 너를 만들었어 

Best Boi: it's okay

Best Boi: 난 가요 싶어

Nana: I can walk there with you

Best Boi: 고마워 근대…

Nana: right, I'm leaving

Best Boi: I will come over tomorrow Chenle 

 

Operation Taekun 

2:17 

 

Dad: so uh, I'm going to fucking die

God: anywhomst 

Sicheng: why?

Dad: I got my Hope's up

Dad: 1st day of summer and Taeil hasn't come to wanna talk to me

Dad: I really like him too, like a lot

Channie: that's gay

Dad: yes i understand

Yuyu: kun… 

Yuyu: you pretty much know Taeil's schedule like the back of ur hand

Yuyu: u know that he works night shift and has the earliest possible classes so he can sleep which is a terrible program

Yuyu: u know what he major's in

Yuyu: but how do u not know that his school gets out today 

Dad: … oh

Gay: holy shit he's whipped for him

Sicheng: must be tough being whipped

Sicheng: I haven't been whipped since [redacted]

Yuyu: SINCE TAEIL WE GET IT

Sicheng: no

Yuyu: oh

Yuyu: since who then?

Sicheng: like I said [redacted]

Gay: not even I know who this is

Sicheng: only God knows

Channie: if God spills I'll screenshot

Sicheng: if God cares in any way he won't 

 

Ot21

4:43 

 

Yanggie: pregunta

Chicago: wow ur only Spanish word

Yanggie: No!

Yanggie: I can also say "dónde está la leche" and that's it

Mom:... dam @Chicago and I thought ur spanish was shit

Chicago: as if urs is any better

Yanggie: MY QUESTION

Mom: Johnny turn on ur location bitch 

Chicago: no

Chicago: time to answer Lele's question

Chicago: **Yangyang sorry

Yanggie: I'm gonna let that slide

Yanggie: cause I wanna know whomst and whomst are the gayest couple without being a couple 

[Channie is now online]

Channie: you mean like platonic gay?

Yanggie: yes

Luke: JohnMark

Channie: JohnMark 

Chicago: no??

Mom: yes???

Dream betrayer: when have we ever?

Channie: ya'll are so gay for two people who have openly been in love with other people

Gay: icba about it skinship is cute

Channie: ^^^

Yanggie: thank you the 4 people out of the other fuckin 20 

Sicheng: it's always been JohnMark they're so gay

Yuyu: I vote for Yuwin

Chicago: me as well

Yanggie: 2 for YW and 4 for JohnMark

Dolphin: JohnMark because it's not one sided

 

Taekun 

4:50

 

Tail: hey Kun

Dad: yep?

Tail: since I'm done with school for the year, do you want to go somewhere

Tail: I mean if you don't mind

Tail: like you don't have to 

Dad: I'd love to

Dad: where?

Tail: nowhere special, just the pond

Dad: it's special if I get to go with you

Tail: cheeky

Tail: good thing you said yes or I'd have all the picnic food and have no fucking clue what to do with it

Dad: a picnic! You didn't have to

Tail: I'll see you at 6?

Dad: yes

 

Operation Taekun 

 

Dad: the chat can be disabled now

Yuyu: what? Why?

Dad: [screenshot attached]

Sicheng: BROOOOO

Dream betrayer: HOLY F U C K

Gay:https://66.media.tumblr.com/e7517fe957ceec474209a1ce2ae971f0/41d2d11d3e5179dc-27/s640x960/4635662b501f8598cb46d4e6b2477ba760c075fa.jpg

Channie: sh#ts wild

Channie: he's got a mans

 

WayV 

 

Luke: GUYS

Luke: GUYS IT'S IMPORTANT 

Henry: VERY

Dad: what in the absolute fuck is so important to u

Luke: OUR GG BATH WATER WAS DELIVERED TODAY

Sicheng: you all disgust me

Gay: disappointed

Gay: Sicheng and I have had ours for so long

Luke: that shit is expensive

Sicheng: I asked Chenle and then he bought it for the meme

Henry: really

 

HenLe

 

Henry: lele

Dolphin: 什么

Henry: 你可以买GG bath water

Dolphin: 哈哈哈

Dolphin: 哈哈哈哈

Dolphin: 哈哈哈哈

Dolphin: 哈哈哈

Dolphin: 不可以

 

WayV

 

Henry: he said no

Sicheng: sucks to suck

Gay: imagine being told no by Chenle

Junny: can't relate

Yanggie: that's wild

Yanggie: but also couldn't u just ask Jungwoo @Luke ?

Yanggie: or buy it urself u could afford a trip to China

Luke:  yes but now I have no money for GG bath water like that

Luke: speaking of China

 

Ot21

5:21 pm

 

Luke: whelp

Maknae: ? 

Mom: I don't trust when it's Lucas who prompts a gc convo and it starts with whelp

Nana: did someone die

Luke: due to the fact I just got back from China, Ren and Lele are going, Ten is going back to Thailand, and Mark is going to Canada 

Luke: the gc will go through the phase in which we all lose contact over the summer, and then we will all feel guilty about it but not do anything to fix the situation and our gc will die until next school year

Sicheng: dam did you have to come for our bad habits like that

Dad: Lucas all of us just get hella busy over the summer

Dad: we'll all still be here

 

Luwoo

 

Cutie: babe

Cutie: are you okay

Cutie: that was very out of the blue

Luke: haha no

Luke: I wanna beat myself up but it's too late I've already sent it and EVERYONE read it

Luke: but I guess that's fine

Cutie: xuxi, come on. Talk to me

Luke: you know you're the only one who calls me that unironically 

Cutie: it doesn't matter. I still need to know what's wrong rather than you change the subject

Luke: it's stupid but I think they're gonna leave me

Luke: everyone is gonna leave me 

Cutie: why do you think that

Luke: every summer my friend groups just fucking die off or they stop talking

Luke: stop talking to me

Luke: then they all go out and have fun and smile like I was never even part of them but it's fine

Cutie: who did that I would've beaten them up

Cutie: but that isn't the same friend group like us. All of us really love you even if you are constantly bullied. I'll tell them to stop if that's it

Luke: no I know they're joking

Luke: but summer is just going to end up with all of us going our separate ways and find different friends

Luke: not like having other friends is a bad thing! I just dont want them to leave me alone. I have a bitter fear of being alone 

Cutie: so that's why you like being apart of big groups

Luke: yea

Luke: I just want to find a bunch of friends who will want me and not just run out of patience with me

Cutie: I'll never run out with you 

Cutie: in fact, do you want to come over right now? 

Luke: yes, please

 

Lucas scrambled out of the dorms. Ignoring his roommates asking him what's wrong as well as what happened and where he's going. "Jungwoo." He murmured and decided it would be easier to go out the window because the door is farther and more questions. He needs to walk, he needs to get out, he needs to get back to himself. Where is funny Yukhei? Where is he? He can't find him. He climbs out the third story window and began to climb down. All of them have done this before, they sneak back in quite often when they stay out too late. Kun will probably do it tonight. 

It takes 10 minutes to get to Jungwoo's house. It was supposed to be a share house, but Jungwoo was the only one who lived there, and he was quite okay with that. Those 10 minutes are from only a walk, but Yukhei was going faster. About seven minutes later, Jungwoo opened the door. Before Lucas could even say anything, Jungwoo hugged him tightly and pulled him in. "I love you." Jungwoo said softly, holding him still. "Oh." 

"Yukhei I really really do. And I know that they care about you too. No one's gonna leave you alright?" And then Yukhei cried a little. Actually, a lot. He cried like a big baby, a tall dumb baby. He held onto Jungwoo and was sat down on the couch. "Everything is going to be fine Lucas. Even if you still think everyone is gonna leave you, I'm not going to. I'll stick with you no matter what." Lucas smiled, because he knows Jungwoo was being honest. Or if he wasn't, he was doing very good at being convincing. "Yukhei, how often do you think about that?" Lucas tried to sound confident, sound like himself. "A lot. Because it's just what always happens ya know. I'm used to it but I don't like it." 

"No one here is going to leave you. We all love having you here. You wouldn't leave us right?" Yukhei shook his head quickly. "Then we won't leave you." Lucas smiled, and he believed Jungwoo.

Chapter Text

Dream Chat

4:33 pm

 

Idiot sandwich: WHAT IS UP GAMERS

Idiot sandwich: I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER MINECRAFT LET'S PLAY

Maknae: shut the everlasting fruck up

Channie: **frick

Maknae: boi did I stutter

Maknae: fruck

Nana: it's summerrr

Idiot sandwich: yes that is how school years usually work

Nana: shut up

Best Boi: I'm bored

Dolphin: I let u in my home

Dolphin: my home with a whole POOL and me

Dolphin: and ur bored

Nana: I'll be over next week Jen

Nana: we can hang then

Dolphin: still offended

Maknae: bro can I come to the penthouse

Dolphin: don't you just show up anyway

Channie: it never ceases to amaze me how little Jisung's parents care about where he is

Dolphin: ok same??? Like yeah I can invite people over but only y'all 

Maknae: the trick:

Maknae: be so terrible at making new friends ur parents stay knowing all of them

Idiot sandwich: https://66.media.tumblr.com/a528395fc1d1da56ea8fd046abe901b5/d65873512ddcb98f-1e/s640x960/765239c707e2e7e16c5402eed1da4ac0fa311bad.jpg

Idiot sandwich: u came for urself huh

Maknae: I suppose so

Idiot sandwich: man imagine having Chenle as ur only friend

Dolphin: I take full offense to that

Best Boi: renjun when do come back from china?

Idiot sandwich: in july

Best Boi: oh…

Best Boi: 이미 보고싶어 ㅜ.ㅜ

Dolphin: ugh Jen we'll be back before u know it

Dolphin: and seriously, you can come over at any time

Idiot sandwich: you can come over to my house too okay?

Idiot sandwich: never forget you've got a billion options, anywhere but there

Best Boi: I know


Ot21

5:45

 

Gay: guess who is ready to fight their boss????

Gay: it's me

Chicago: when do u get off today

Gay: never, I die here

Tail: 11:30

Tail: same times for the both of us

Sicheng: I feel like that's child labour

Tail: what

Sicheng: 10 is child, and that is labour

Gay: correct

Tail: but would u guys like good news

Tail: I'm no longer single 

Sicheng: finally 

Sicheng: congrats Kun

Tail:... bitch how did u know 

Yuyu: neither of yall are obvious

Yuyu: doesn't help that Kun is babie and told Sicheng and 10

Gay: let's be real tho, raise ur hand if u didn't know Taeil wanted to bang Kun

Gay: ok it's been 5 minutes and no one raised hands we all knew yall wanted to fuck

Sicheng: so has Kun gotten dicked yet?

Maknae: I've never wanted to no be able to read more than rn

Tail: are u ever been to this gc??? This is the worst you've had????

Maknae: ur rite

Yanggie: the speed that this gc goes through topics is amazing

Luke: speaking of topics

Luke: I'm gonna commit a felony

Dad: no

Mom: no

Henry: without me? 

Luke: #addhenderytosatanline

Channie: no

Henry: aw

Yanggie: they keep me here against my will, help me get me out of this line

Channie: no

Yanggie: dam

Dolphin: frick I forgot to finish packing

Idiot sandwich: you idiot we leave TOMORROW

Dolphin: oops

[Dolphin is now offline]

[Idiot sandwich is now offline]

Mom: huh

Mom: frankly I'm just happy Renjun remembered he was going to China 

 

June 30th 

 

Ot21 chat

11:45 p.m

 

Luke: hey guys

[Mom is now online]

[Tail is now online]

[Yanggie is now online]

Luke: do the rest of yall just not go to bed???

Sicheng: yep

Luke: n e ways 

Luke: I was wondering 

Yuyu: oh no u used your brain? Don't hurt urself 

Luke: shut the everlasting fuck up

Luke: ik we're all off doing our summer plans and shit, and that it's really late at night for some of us but...

Luke: I was wondering if we could all maybe play minecraft on our server?

Luke: we've all just haven't spoken that much over break and I want us to do something fun even if we aren't all together

Luke: so what do yall say?

Junny: can we play but water rises every 5 minutes?

Dream betrayer: CREEPER

Dolphin: AWW M A N

Luke: :)

 

Lukeyong

 

Mom: hey Yukhei?

Luke: yea

Mom: thanks for that

 

Chapter Text

OT21

5:11 p.m

Tail: so everyone's been to school by now

Tail: how was it

Johnny: BITCH WE GRADUATE AFTER THIS YEAR HOLY FUCK

Yuyu: OH SHIT

Sicheng: me and my 1 year after this

Dream betrayer: ok shut the fuck up I still have 3 MORE 

Idiot sandwich: I still have to actually go lol

Dolphin: ok but um I still have to pass junior year???? 

Dolphin: Jisung and I need to figure it out?????

Cutie: ur rich¿¿¿

Dolphin: but like… what the fuck do I even wanna do? Idk what I wanna do

Maknae: die?? 

Dad: no???? 

Dad: it's ok my bbys u will have time to figure it out

Sicheng: of course, I knew nothing until it was almost too late and look at me now!!

Nana: void of feeling, unable to do basic things and every time u feel a feeling coming on u try to kill it? 

Sicheng: yep!!

Sicheng: jkjk pls don't waste ur time tho or go into student debt

[Dream betrayer has changed their name to fully capable]

Fully capable: I have rebranded 

Best Boi: no more dream betrayer!!! 

Nana: BBY

Idiot sandwich: … y'all see eachother all the time Jaemin it ain't that deep

Best Boi: we don't have class together

Best Boi: or lunch 

Fully capable: aw my son made a whole sentence 

Luke: imagine not being able to write lol gang gang

Yuyu: I like that now that jen is a senior we can bully him

Nana: ha u thought

Mom: well I guess… technically… we can

Yuyu: fuck

Yuyu: idk even know how the heck to do that

Henry: me neither

Yanggie: yeah how tf do we do that? 

Fully capable: dam ur right 

Luke: well on the bright side

Luke: I can 

Luke: also I'M MOVING IN WITH JUNGWOO

Cutie: YEEAAHHH

Dad: awww so cute

Sicheng: how long have yall been together? 

Cutie: 2 years and 10 months ♡♡♡♡

Channie: aaww that's so adorable 

Fully capable: we will be cute like that too

Nana: hey Jen?

Best Boi: hm?

Nana: 어디서?

Best Boi: 왜요?

Nana: 보고 싶다 

Best Boi: at home

Nana: I'M COMING TO U

Chicago: back to the first point from today

Chicago: class was cool and all 

Chicago: and then suddenly the kids majoring in photography went outside 

Chicago: fucking weirdos 

Sicheng: SHUT UP

Sicheng: LEAVES US ALONE OR I'LL TAKE AN UGLY PICTURE OF U

Sicheng: also fuck u we were going to take pictures of the kids studying agriculture

Nana: I love that we all ended up not leaving texas somehow

Best Boi: i wanna go to California 

Best Boi: very far away

Nana: well guess I'm going to California kids

Maknae: I'm freaking forgetting Korean oh my god

Mom: how we literally speak it at least 3 times a day

Chicago: bruh how is Jisung losing his language

Maknae: quick someone say summat

Best Boi: 너의 엄마 게이

Maknae: shut UP JENO

Maknae: who tf taught him that

Channie: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

Idiot sandwich: AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

Channie: JESSIE

Idiot sandwich: JAMES

Yanggie: MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT

Mom: ofc it was them

Mom: why did we even let them meet??

Dad: don't look at me

Mom: this is ur fault

Dad: HOW???

Mom: ur dumbass decided to let these dumbasses to meet

Tail: hey! Don't call my lovely mans a dumbass

Mom: gay

Gay: gay

Channie: gay

Tail:... 

Tail: Bruh

Tail: have y'all met eachother ever

Gay: but yall are a diff type of gay

Dad: anyone: shows affection

Dad: Ten: Gay

Gay: I'm not fucking wrong tho

Idiot sandwich: if I can't curse could y'all at least CALM DOWN WIT IT

Fully capable: this could be u

Fully capable: but u…

Best Boi: FAILED SECOND GRADE

Idiot sandwich: I'm going to fight ur bf Jei

Dolphin: Jei??? 

Nana: Jae is a kid that used to go to our school, he graduated but we still frens with him

Nana: so Jei!!

Best Boi: I didn't know u name Jei

Nana: lol but u know a different nickname 

Mom: WH A T

Tail: MY GREAT GRANDSON

Tail: WHAT NAME 

Best Boi: Minnie!! Or Min

Mom: thank GOD

Best Boi: what did you think I say?

Nana: nothing babe

 

NoMin

8:54 PM 

Best Boi: hey

Nana: sup jennie bean

Best Boi: can u get me? She kicked me out for night 

Nana: of course of course

Nana: u wanna talk about it now or in person

Best Boi 절대 말해 

Nana: Babe… 

Best Boi: 난 괜찮아 

Nana: 너는 널 거짓말 왜?

Nana: you know lying doesn't work even over text

Nana: I know you better than I know anyone

Best Boi: I'm going to be okay (맞아)

Nana: the sentence is right but you're wrong! 

Best Boi: ?

Nana: you're not fine there Jen. Stay with Renjun, Haechan, me, anyone! 

Nana: even taeil and Jaehyun will take you and they are broke

Nana: anyone but her

Best Boi: 엄마는 나 사랑해

Nana: 이젠, 너는 너자신 거짓말에게

Nana: I'm still coming tho

Nana: 사랑해 젠

Best Boi: 사랑해 나나

Chapter Text

127

3:21 p.m

 

Doughnut: y am I still single

Doughnut: this is so sad 

Chicago: so am I

Doughnut: no ur not ur just waiting for the right moment

Sicheng: well I sure as fuck am

Doughnut: ur stupid and don't realize someone loves u and they say it every day

Yuyu: IT'S ME ILY

Sicheng: I also love me, ur point?

Doughnut: I'M STILL SINGLE 

Doughnut: I'M GOOD LOOKING, NICE, FUNNY, AND CAN SING

Doughnut: WHAT IS THE PROBLEM

Doughnut: I'M BISEXUAL I SHOULD HAVE MORE FUCKING OPTIONS THAN ALL Y'ALL EHO ARE DATING CAUSE ALL OF Y'ALL ARE GAY

Chicago: I am also Bye

Doughnut: why do you write it like that

Chicago: idk m8 I just do

Doughnut: where is Mark he'll listen to me cry

Mom: he doesn't get out for another 30 minutes

Doughnut: @tail take me back

Tail: I think I'll pass

Doughnut: @cutie Jungwoo ily

Cutie: I think the fuck not I'm in love with a dumbass cricket

Doughnut: but I'm normal 

Cutie: well it's obvious I don't stand with people who make any sense

Doughnut: fine

Tail: but what about ur crush on that one girl?

Doughnut: she got a gf

Doughnut: I respect her but I also crie

Tail: aww poor bby

Tail: ur gonna find someone

Doughnut: a ha ha

Cutie: It’s cause u lean torwards girls

 Have u seen the boys throwing themselves at u? Ur the most straight in the group hyung

Doughnut: at this point I might as well be straight

Gay: imagine being straight that shit sounds wild

 

Ot21 

3:33 PM 

 

Dolphin: it's been one week

Dolphin: why the heck is our teacher making us take a test?

Gay: that's pretty much an oof buddy

Maknae: so uh my schedule got changed rite

Maknae: I HAVE MS. CHO AGAIN BECAUSE OF THAT I'M GOING TO DIE

Idiot sandwich: lol look what happened today when we were presenting

Idiot sandwich: https://66.media.tumblr.com/fa1c15be91a720a64d04b96eefddc336/8811baf5bab7a7cb-7f/s640x960/b647a18ded971bbbaca9ca5cb161f67d53e73062.gif

Idiot sandwich: lol Jisung can't talk

Gay: wbk next

Channie: I'm trying out for dance team

Gay: YES

Gay: good

Sicheng: keep up our legacy

Mom: hyuk r u better at hip hop or contemporary?

Channie: HH

Mom: **my legacy

Sicheng: stfu

Mom: do it again I dare u

Sicheng: stfu

Tail: fuck school I'm poor

Gay: ayyy mood

Dad: I'll support u

Tail: u r taking a fine arts degree hun...

Dad: fair enough

Gay: offended and I'm majoring in dance

Gay: but I'm also poor so…

Chicago: I am taking economics tho

Idiot sandwich: literally who all is going somewhere with their degrees

Idiot sandwich: I need to know so I can think of what to major in

Sicheng: me!

Yuyu: you take photography

Sicheng: you do fine arts, and??

Yuyu: fair enough

Tail: so I'm becoming a pediatric surgeon, Yong is gonna be a teacher, Johnny is eco, Mark is?

Fully capable: film

Tail: ok so nvm

Tail: Doyoung is doing communications although with his voice he should be in fine arts somewhere, he could actually make it

Doughnut: u too!!

Tail: nah

Tail: Lucas is also coms somehow

Cutie: I'm in business!! 

Mom: and the rest of them are trying their best

[Square is online]

Square: what r we doing

Square: oh, lol I'm in the not possible category 

Square: music gang bless up

Idiot sandwich: thank you very helpful

Fully capable: why did you want to know?

 

Markjun

3:44 pm

 

Idiot sandwich: let me into the og one for a bit will ya?

Fully capable: sure

 

OG + Renjun 

3:44 PM 

 

Idiot sandwich: ok

Fully capable: I think he has something to tell us

Gay: all ears hun

Mom: what's up?

Doughnut: we're here

Square: yep!

Idiot sandwich: don't laugh or be disappointed 

Idiot sandwich: I applied to college

Square: why would we laugh about that? That's great!

Idiot sandwich: … 

Idiot sandwich: I applied to Rice

Mom: Jun why would we be disappointed? That college is good!

Idiot sandwich: I don't want anyone else to know, I don't want to get their Hope's up

Idiot sandwich: failed second grade remember?

Fully capable: that doesn't mean anything now, it was second grade. We just like to joke

Gay: hun we believe in you and we always have

Idiot sandwich: thanks guys

Mom: of course

Gay: now go tell the rest u loser

Idiot sandwich: wow thank you

 

OT21 

3:54 pm

 

Idiot sandwich: I APPLIED TO COLLEGE!!!

Channie: REALLY YAAAAYY

Idiot sandwich: TO RICE

Channie: I BELIEVE IN YOU

Channie: wait, as ur partner in assery, does that mean I’ve also gotta apply to Rice

Idiot sandwich: yes

Idiot sandwich: lol jk go where u want

Tail: ooh, what r u gonna major in?

Idiot sandwich: arts

Tail: like just arts or fine arts

Idiot sandwich: arts

Tail: going somewhere degree!!! 

Yuyu: fine arts gang finna fight u

Tail: @me

Yuyu: lets go then

Chicago: are we gonna gloss over the fact Taeil can probably dismember or disect us by now

Tail: lol not yet

Idiot sandwich: tail u never told us what ur majoring in? Just that u wanna become a mcsurgeon

Tail: cause I changed my major

Mom: AGAIN

Tail: im problematic

Tail: i’m doing human physiology and i’m sticking with it

Mom: u better, what kind of message r u sending the children?

Tail: just because u have a full ride doesn’t mean u can fuck around?

Maknae: good lesson

Maknae: also I’ve decided where I wanna go

Dad: ?

Maknae: clown college

Dolphin: I’m going to sea world, I’ll train with my brethren and jisung and I will make the first clown-dolphin show

Mom: say sike RIGHT NOW

Dolphin: sike sike Dam!

Dolphin: i’m getting my masters in clown not my bachelor's

Tail: aren’t we all

Doughnut: but ur gonna get a phD

Tail: dam yall are really gassing me today

Tail: i mean renjun is understandable but lol why me

Mom: we luv u that’s why

Tail: gay

Dolphin: bye

Chicago: get ur own jokes

Chapter Text

127

3:21 p.m

 

Doughnut: y am I still single

Doughnut: this is so sad 

Chicago: so am I

Doughnut: no ur not ur just waiting for the right moment

Sicheng: well I sure as fuck am

Doughnut: ur stupid and don't realize someone loves u and they say it every day

Yuyu: IT'S ME ILY

Sicheng: I also love me, ur point?

Doughnut: I'M STILL SINGLE 

Doughnut: I'M GOOD LOOKING, NICE, FUNNY, AND CAN SING

Doughnut: WHAT IS THE PROBLEM

Doughnut: I'M BISEXUAL I SHOULD HAVE MORE FUCKING OPTIONS THAN ALL Y'ALL EHO ARE DATING CAUSE ALL OF Y'ALL ARE GAY

Chicago: I am also Bye

Doughnut: why do you write it like that

Chicago: idk m8 I just do

Doughnut: where is Mark he'll listen to me cry

Mom: he doesn't get out for another 30 minutes

Doughnut: @tail take me back

Tail: I think I'll pass

Doughnut: @cutie Jungwoo ily

Cutie: I think the fuck not I'm in love with a dumbass cricket

Doughnut: but I'm normal 

Cutie: well it's obvious I don't stand with people who make any sense

Doughnut: fine

Tail: but what about ur crush on that one girl?

Doughnut: she got a gf

Doughnut: I respect her but I also crie

Tail: aww poor bby

Tail: ur gonna find someone

Doughnut: a ha ha

Cutie: It’s cause u lean torwards girls

 Have u seen the boys throwing themselves at u? Ur the most straight in the group hyung

Doughnut: at this point I might as well be straight

Gay: imagine being straight that shit sounds wild

 

Ot21 

3:33 PM 

 

Dolphin: it's been one week

Dolphin: why the heck is our teacher making us take a test?

Gay: that's pretty much an oof buddy

Maknae: so uh my schedule got changed rite

Maknae: I HAVE MS. CHO AGAIN BECAUSE OF THAT I'M GOING TO DIE

Idiot sandwich: lol look what happened today when we were presenting

Idiot sandwich: https://66.media.tumblr.com/fa1c15be91a720a64d04b96eefddc336/8811baf5bab7a7cb-7f/s640x960/b647a18ded971bbbaca9ca5cb161f67d53e73062.gif

Idiot sandwich: lol Jisung can't talk

Gay: wbk next

Channie: I'm trying out for dance team

Gay: YES

Gay: good

Sicheng: keep up our legacy

Mom: hyuk r u better at hip hop or contemporary?

Channie: HH

Mom: **my legacy

Sicheng: stfu

Mom: do it again I dare u

Sicheng: stfu

Tail: fuck school I'm poor

Gay: ayyy mood

Dad: I'll support u

Tail: u r taking a fine arts degree hun...

Dad: fair enough

Gay: offended and I'm majoring in dance

Gay: but I'm also poor so…

Chicago: I am taking economics tho

Idiot sandwich: literally who all is going somewhere with their degrees

Idiot sandwich: I need to know so I can think of what to major in

Sicheng: me!

Yuyu: you take photography

Sicheng: you do fine arts, and??

Yuyu: fair enough

Tail: so I'm becoming a pediatric surgeon, Yong is gonna be a teacher, Johnny is eco, Mark is?

Fully capable: film

Tail: ok so nvm

Tail: Doyoung is doing communications although with his voice he should be in fine arts somewhere, he could actually make it

Doughnut: u too!!

Tail: nah

Tail: Lucas is also coms somehow

Cutie: I'm in business!! 

Mom: and the rest of them are trying their best

[Square is online]

Square: what r we doing

Square: oh, lol I'm in the not possible category 

Square: music gang bless up

Idiot sandwich: thank you very helpful

Fully capable: why did you want to know?

 

Markjun

3:44 pm

 

Idiot sandwich: let me into the og one for a bit will ya?

Fully capable: sure

 

OG + Renjun 

3:44 PM 

 

Idiot sandwich: ok

Fully capable: I think he has something to tell us

Gay: all ears hun

Mom: what's up?

Doughnut: we're here

Square: yep!

Idiot sandwich: don't laugh or be disappointed 

Idiot sandwich: I applied to college

Square: why would we laugh about that? That's great!

Idiot sandwich: … 

Idiot sandwich: I applied to Rice

Mom: Jun why would we be disappointed? That college is good!

Idiot sandwich: I don't want anyone else to know, I don't want to get their Hope's up

Idiot sandwich: failed second grade remember?

Fully capable: that doesn't mean anything now, it was second grade. We just like to joke

Gay: hun we believe in you and we always have

Idiot sandwich: thanks guys

Mom: of course

Gay: now go tell the rest u loser

Idiot sandwich: wow thank you

 

OT21 

3:54 pm

 

Idiot sandwich: I APPLIED TO COLLEGE!!!

Channie: REALLY YAAAAYY

Idiot sandwich: TO RICE

Channie: I BELIEVE IN YOU

Channie: wait, as ur partner in assery, does that mean I’ve also gotta apply to Rice

Idiot sandwich: yes

Idiot sandwich: lol jk go where u want

Tail: ooh, what r u gonna major in?

Idiot sandwich: arts

Tail: like just arts or fine arts

Idiot sandwich: arts

Tail: going somewhere degree!!! 

Yuyu: fine arts gang finna fight u

Tail: @me

Yuyu: lets go then

Chicago: are we gonna gloss over the fact Taeil can probably dismember or disect us by now

Tail: lol not yet

Idiot sandwich: tail u never told us what ur majoring in? Just that u wanna become a mcsurgeon

Tail: cause I changed my major

Mom: AGAIN

Tail: im problematic

Tail: i’m doing human physiology and i’m sticking with it

Mom: u better, what kind of message r u sending the children?

Tail: just because u have a full ride doesn’t mean u can fuck around?

Maknae: good lesson

Maknae: also I’ve decided where I wanna go

Dad: ?

Maknae: clown college

Dolphin: I’m going to sea world, I’ll train with my brethren and jisung and I will make the first clown-dolphin show

Mom: say sike RIGHT NOW

Dolphin: sike sike Dam!

Dolphin: i’m getting my masters in clown not my bachelor's

Tail: aren’t we all

Doughnut: but ur gonna get a phD

Tail: dam yall are really gassing me today

Tail: i mean renjun is understandable but lol why me

Mom: we luv u that’s why

Tail: gay

Dolphin: bye

Chicago: get ur own jokes

 

Chapter Text

Ot21 chat 

[Saturday September 28th]

3:47 p.m

 

Tail: I'm going hella broke

Doughnut: you've been in college for 3 yrs now wbk

Tail: that gap year was really bad idea in hindsight

Henry: bro ur becoming a doctor and u took a GAP year

Tail: I'm an idiot ok

Tail: also SURGEON

Mom: this is why he's gonna class with us and graduate wit us

 

TailTen

 

Gay: r we doing it now?

Tail: better than any other time ya know

Tail: but are you sure? You know how he's gonna react

Gay: I'd rather him get mad at me now rather than it already be too much

 

Ot21

 

Tail: aight

Tail: is everyone at least online

Fully capable: seems like it

Best Boi: 네 what's up?

Tail: ok ok ok

Tail: due to my brokeness 

Tail: and having no other options

Tail: imma become a stripper I mean how hard can it be

Nana: what the duck

Chicago: I'll do it for you

Chicago: Tail what the fuck

Sicheng: what the fuck

Mom: ur joking right?

Tail: listen it pays good money and u literally work in a club Johnny 

Chicago: I DJ not strip! Also I work in a club because I enjoy it not cause I have to

Tail: if you worry about me being on my own it's fine I'm doing it with someone

Luke: who else?

Best Boi: we know him?

Gay: with me

Chicago: WHAT

Dolphin: ngl I'm not surprised

Idiot sandwich: no one is but Johnny

Square: ^^ agreed but still

Square: WHAT

Chicago: 10 I told you that you could always ask me, or anyone else

Gay: I want to do things for myself is that too much? This is something I want to do

Yuyu: (oh my god I thought they were kidding) 

Mom: okay guys, you may need to take this to PMs

Chicago: 10 you've got other options

Gay: just let me do this

Mom: go to PMs pls

Tail: now even more hindsight, this was probably a bad idea

Doughnut: but you were serious tho

Tail: yes

Tail: I've hooked up/ dated everyone in 127 save for Mark and Yuta I can strip for bucks

Fully capable: didn't we make out once?

Tail: oh my god doesn't count don't remind me

Tail: drunk mark is too much of a wild ride mixed with drunk Taeil 

Sicheng: @dad is 10 at the dorms I'm about to get on the bus

Dad: no… he left immediately after this convo started

Sicheng: he has they keys to Jaehyun and Tails apartment right?

Sicheng: he may be there

 

Siten

4:03 

 

Sicheng: how r u hanging

Sicheng: I'm on the bus and will be there soon

Gay: we fought

Sicheng: about the job?

Gay: about everything

Gay: me not moving in, you know the usual lot

Sicheng: haven't u 2 been on these things for a while now?

Gay: yeah. Why does this even matter we aren't dating

Gay: I do what I want

Sicheng: it's a sketchy job hun, he's just worried about you

Sicheng: I don't fully agree with this really but I'm gonna support you

Gay: the thing is he doesn't understand why I have to do this for myself, other than money of course

Sicheng: just worried about you getting hurt or touched

Sicheng: where are you in the apartment I'm gonna be there in 5 minutes

Gay: crying in the bathroom, Taeil and Yoon left for a bit and they let me come in

Sicheng: make it seven minutes I'm getting you a lunchable.

Gay: ^-^ 

 

Tenwoo

6:14 PM 

 

Cutie: hey, are you okay?

Gay: define okay

Cutie: up to talk 

Gay: yeah

Cutie: I mean up to talk to me

Gay: dude again the past is the past

Gay: also, thank you for keeping this under wraps until today 

Cutie: your business is yours to share not mine, I would never unless it was like a bad situation and you not sharing was stupid 

Gay: I make a lot of stupid choices huh

Cutie: good means, bad ideas 

Cutie: but this… I think this one was a good idea, better for your income even if iit's a lil sketchy

Gay: thanks woo

Cutie: anytime

 

JohnJae

8:11 pm

 

Square: u have been avoiding me for 4 hours

Square: not even leaving me on read

Chicago: how did u know I was on in the first place? 

Chicago: I could've been sulking

Square: u don't sulk u ugly cry 

Chicago: fuck you

Square: Taeyong only

Chicago: oh shut up

Square: ok let's talk now

Chicago: no

Square: declined, we're talking about this

Square: babe listen u can't do this to yourself + Ten

Chicago: I thought you were in love with Yong 

Square: shut up

Square: u care about 10 so much but Y R U DOING THIS

Chicago: doing what?

Square: acting like u and 10 are always hanging around and then the two of you suddenly disappear out of nowhere over one argument

Square: do u understand that good relationships need communication right

Chicago: well he doesn't talk either

Square: valid, but u can always talk to me

Chicago: he wants to be a fuckin stripper

Square: hey so does Taeil

Chicago: not saying that a man cant do it when one needs to do it but Ten doesn't have to

Chicago: I have enough for him to stay and be happy

Square: *sighs in understanding*

Square: when Yong, 10, mark,  hyuk, and I made this dumb gc and all became friends we knew ten had shit on his back

Square: he wanted to solve his problems himself, he never asked for help or wanted it when we offered it was just how he grew up

Chicago: I'm not saying that he can't like work or anything, I like when he goes out and does things and is proud of himself

Chicago: I just don't want him hurt or damaged

Square: … 

Square: u know where 10 is from

Square: he's already screwed

Chicago: but this could make it worse, he's got a real short fuse for certain things

Square: Sicheng is the normal one behind them, don't worry he makes sure 10 doesn't do anything stupid

Square: they watch out for each other and never press

Square: like asking why he won't move in or holding his fears over his head

Chicago: I don't do that

Square: 10 has a big fear of caring about people and being cared for he's lost his ability to trust

Chicago: how does that happen??? Not everyone who is nice to you wants something from you

Square: he just is alright?

Square: this gc has like 6 rules: Don't argue with someone else over main chats, we're all pricks with opinions and can share them happily, don't ever fuck with Jeno, don't fuck with Renjun for your own safety, never trigger Mark, and don't push Ten

Square: he'll run away if you do, or he'll say things he's gonna regret

Chicago: and I don't wanna do that

Square: of course, because one you love him and two Sicheng will not hesitate to deck you if you do so

Chicago: will u help me?

Square: LMAO have you ever been punched in the face by Sicheng

Chiacago: no???

Square: that explains why you think I'd help you

Chicago: I'm two inches taller than him and have more strength 

Square: have you heard of David and goliath 

Square: that's what's gonna happen

Square: just give him some time

 

Mom + Dad 

[Tuesday, October 1st]

5:56 pm

 

Mom: sicheng said ten was doing ok over the 127 gc but I can tell when he’s lying even over text

Dad: he and Johnny have’nt spoken in 3 days how do u think it is

Mom: what lunchable did ww give him

Dad: idk why that matters but pizza

Mom: what type 

Dad: deluxe w cheese only im pretty sure

Mom: pringles or oreos

Dad: oreos

Mom: oh he’s doing terrible

Dad: ???? 

Mom: trust me, eventually this will make sense

 

WayV 

9:33 pm

 

Gay: 大家好

Henry:ten哥!!

Junny:你怎么样?

Sicheng:he's fineish

Yanggie:你是一个stripper马?

Gay:是的

Yanggie: we aint stopping you my guy

Henry: don’t get jumped!

Henry: or turn out like yukhei

Luke: what’s wrong w/ me?    

Sicheng: u managed to not end up in the hs gc while still in hs

Luke: Kun and the rest of WayV didn’t get into 127 or dream

Yanggie: Kun was already out of school when he got here and since the bbys all go to the sister school, some of the stuff is different and this is pretty much their version of a dream gc

Junny: so lucas ur still the only one…

Luke: I feel attacked

Yanggie: r u coming back 10?

Gay: yeah, today and it'll be okie

Junny: n e way

Junny: have u talked to johnny @gay

Gay: lol no

Gay: he needs to calm down

Luke: ?? 

Gay: up in my business like it's his life not mine, who is he to say anything? I am who I am and I'll do what I want to do

Luke: you know he is only looking out for you

Luke: that's just his way

Gay: ok enough with that

Gay: has anyone seen Kun? Like online

Junny: no… not since you and Taeil talked about your jobs

Yanggie: maybe he's busy

Gay: imma ask Moony 

 

Teil

9:45 p.m. 

 

Gay: taeil? 

Gay: has Kun ever been online since the talk?

Tail: you've noticed as well

Tail: no but he said he might talk

Gay: ok… I think he may be worried about you or something

Tail: I know

 

Taekun

9:46 p.m. 

 

Tail: hey babe 

Tail: can we talk?

Dad: I don't know

Dad: are you going to actually talk? 

Tail: Kun, this is my life and this is what I want to do

Tail typing: if you cant understand that

Dad: that's not why I'm upset

Dad: I'm not mad at the fact you want to be a stripper

Tail typing: if you cant unde

Tail typing: if you c

Tail: what?

Dad: were you ashamed to tell me? 

Tail: what no

Dad: then why didn't you tell me? 

Tail: well most people take their partner wanting to show off to other people about as well as Johnny does

Dad: as much as I love the guy, I'm not Johnny 

Dad: I'm not most people either I'm Qian Kun and Qian Kun only

Dad: I would've supported you, and I still will. I'm just upset because you wouldn't talk to me, that you didn't trust me enough to tell me even though we've been friends for so long by now

Tail: don't take it personally, no one knew we had this planned

Dad: I can't help it, I've got a habit called I worry about my friends and we're kore than friends now so !!!!

Tail: i appreciate that, really, but it was something between 10 and I

Tail: i want to get to the point where i can talk to you about everything

Dad: not there yet?

Tail: 10 and johnny have enough marital problems for the entire gc, you don't need to hear my sob story as to why I'm like this

Dad: if it helps you to get it off your chest you can tell me one day

Tail: maybe one day

Tail: but come on I dated Doyoung for some time that should be a dead giveaway for how emotionally distraught I once was

Dad: but a good relationship has communication

Tail: and most importantly won't be like johnten

Dad: definitely not

Tail: I'm sorry I didn't tell you

Dad: I won't say it's ok because it wasn't but talk to me on important things alright?

Tail: ok

Tail: Kun

Dad: hm?

Tail: doesn't it bother you? 

Dad: does what bother me

Tail typing: that I pretty much hoed arou

Tail typing: that I pre

Tail: that I have gotten with almost everyone in 127

Dad: I'll admit it was a little deterring when I found out I would be your 16th bf when u only started dating people like a year and a half ago other than Taeyong

Dad: but at the end of the day why should it? At the very least ik how sincere you are in ur relationships and even if this doesn’t last just know that im gonna care about you during and after because you shot me through the heart you ass, I've liked you for so fucking long Moon Taeil that it's stupid how much I care about you

Tail: that’s really cheesy but fuck u u made me cry

Dad: love you

Dad: you don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know

Tail: one day I will know how to say that back too

Tail: but for now I know how to say something else

Tail: https://66.media.tumblr.com/de20036672a64d56d1a42bc0d7657472/20fc316b98a7c35b-e2/s640x960/49ff952cde6dbe5f0313cffd1f7d34817bb8e3f4.jpg

Dad: I thought you’d never ask

Chapter Text

JohnJae 

3:41 am 

[October 3rd]

 

Chicago: why r u still online

Square: @ jeno's his mum hasn't come home yet

Square: trying to see if I need to take him over to me and taeil's place

Chicago: r u?

Square: probably yeah, but he just got to sleep

Square: now why r U up

Chicago: I'm depressed and possibly the light of my entire life is still mad at me even though I don't entirely see what I did wrong

Square: u called him the light of ur life im-

Chicago: POSSIBLY

Square: is it dimming? Because of this 

Chicago: no 

Chicago: one argument isn't gonna make me love him any less

Square: are you currently mentally stable

Chicago: I'm in my bathroom crying

Square: ugly crying

Chicago: no

Square: it wasn't a question it was a fact

Square: have you thought of…

Square: ***talking to him***

Chicago typing: no I just sulked for five da

Chicago typing: no I ju

Chicago typing: I thought abou

Chicago: I wanted to

Square: but?

Chicago: how do I even know he is gonna want to look at me? Yoon he's never been so mad that he doesn't even read my texts when they come through

Chicago: and I don't know why

Square: ik this is never as good as the real deal but text him

Square: like actually text him rather than just Ten, ten, 10, hello?, read these at least, tenny 

Square: ya know

Chicago: can u not be right for once?

Square: I'm dating Taeyong, how can I not know you guys like the back of my hand I'm in love with the backbone of the gc

Square: now go communicate if he is awake

 

Johnten 

3:51 am 

Chicago: hey Ten

Chicago: idk if ur awake or still not reading my messages but I want to talk even though I know you're still mad

Read at 3:52 am

Chicago: I don't entirely know what I did wrong, I don't know when I did, but I know I fucked up somewhere

Chicago: and I know that it has to do with boundaries and how close I can get to you, those things that we said we would face together when you're ready to open up about what happened

Chicago: I don't know when that's gonna be for me, and maybe you don't either but that's okay. I'm okay with waiting if I know it's a place we wanna get to. I don't like to argue with you or go through a bout of lost contact every month because neither of us can ever get our shit together

Chicago: I know it's not all your fault, I'm stupid and impulsive and put pressure and I'm trying to get better at understanding that you don't move as fast as me and that's okay too. I'm always willing to wait because I know you're never far away

Chicago: at the end of the day I'm still a tall idiot and you're a short hardass, and we go together about as well as neon green and and literally 90% of the rest of the colours on the planet

Chicago: but like those people who put up the signs anyway, we make it work

Chicago: I know the analogy was stupid, I was possibly trying to make you laugh

Chicago: at the very least I really fucking miss you Tenny like it's getting bad how much I miss you

Gay: I miss you too

Gay: do u remember before we had this going on? When we were just friends with benefits?

Chicago: yeah

Gay: I miss those days

Gay: shit wasn't as complicated 

Gay: there was no explaining, none of the fighting, none of the wanting to tell you but not being able to because I only saw you as a fwb. Wish I still did, cause then I wouldn't care so much if you would run away or not

Chicago: Ten, if you think I'm gonna run away you must've missed the parts where I stood by you when 1: we thought u did drugs and OD because you disappeared for 3 days

2: almost went to juvie for petty theft

3: got suspended for getting in a fight

Chicago: trust me, I'm not running and I don't expect you to tell me everything at once

Chicago: when you're ready I'm here

Gay: I'm sorry for blowing up at you not wanting me to take on this job, I know you were only looking out for me and meant it

Chicago: I'm not going to stop you, but can you apply at the club I work at? At least let me know youre safe 

Gay: we will see, I would want to actually

Gay: do you want me to come over? I would actually like to talk this over

Chicago: I don't have any lunchables for u tho, but I can make you something as makeup food

Gay: r u trying to poison me 

Chicago: I'm offended 

Gay: if you want to make up pay me in kisses heathen

Chicago: can do

 

Ot21

11:37 a.m

 

Chicago: hello kids

Chicago: [picture attached] 

Dolphin: our favourite reality TV show couple has made up, how long will they last this time!!!

Mom: what he means is we're happy that you're back and sleepy 10 is cute

Gay: I got RAILED

Chicago: T E N

Gay: if I remember correctly u enjoyed urself just as much

Dolphin: I wish I was jared, 19

Mom: don't we all? 

Luke: I have successfully said no to my parents 

Gay: stop taking the attention away from me and my sorr ass

Dolphin: JARED 19

Gay: N E WAY

Gay: what did u say no to

Luke: I don't *dabs* want to *woahs* take over the family business 

Gay: so u said no

Mom: what did they say hun? 

Luke: that they supported me in my future endeavors and hoped that I do well, and that if I ever need somewhere to learn from that I can come

Luke: also that they can't be anymore let down than that one time in 7th grade I ate play dough and got sick

Gay: do u and Renjun have the same parents or summat 

Idiot sandwich: I take high offense to that

[Idiot sandwich has changed their name to china]

China: rebranding time

[Mom has changed China's name to Idiot sandwich]

Mom: absolutely not

Mom: you get to rebrand to become dream betrayer soon

Idiot sandwich: Nana, Chan, Jeno, and Jaemin r all leaving too why just me?

Mom: ur oldest

Tail: speaking of 7th grade

Tail: was anyone there for the great battles of Taeyong and @doughnut

Doughnut: wut

Doughnut: OH

Mom: middle school, let's not talk about it

[Yanggie is now online]

Yanggie: WELL I SURE WASN'T 

Yanggie: speak

Tail: u know how normally it's the bully and the victim?

Tail: these two were both the bully and the victims of each other

Tail: it was like this gc but without any wholesomeness, they just saw each other in the hall and then talked shit lmao

Doughnut: taeyong made me sexually frustrated, I wasn’t pepared to be bisexual

Mom: ok and then we learned ur straight other than special occasions and I was the first special occasion I feel so proud

Mom: jaehyun made me sexually frustrated, audacity to date ur cousin when I had a crush on him

Tail: is this the reason or are yall just going at it

Mom: u will never know

Square: they’re just going at it

Yanggie: so yall like verbally fought so hard u became friends?

Doughnut: pretty much

Yanggie: dam I should do that and maybe linkai will give me attention

Mom: didn't linkai block u on twt 

Yanggie: honestly he always blocks me on twt 

Yanggie: but back to the story

Gay: y'all really decided dotae and their fake rivalry is more important than me huh

Doughnut: yes

Yanggie: how did y'all become friends then

Mom: idk I think we were forced to work together or summat 

Doughnut: we had a lot of things in common really

Doughnut: both liked dancing, shinee, and hated my cousin

Gay: well he/she must've not been that bad if Yoon-oh dated them

Mom: AH HA HA

Square: AH HA HA

Square: sometimes I make dumb choices and she was one of them

Mom: crazy to think I'm dating someone who dated her

Square: well we've been together since 8th grade summer so I must not be that bad 

Sqaure: also ur the light of my life so…

Mom: WHAT

Gay: awwww

Mom: I thank you for being all mushy but u don't have to say that

Square typing: WHY WOULD I LIE

Square typing: WHY WO

Square: I L Y

Square: and I'll fuckin say it again

Square: LEE TAEYONG IS THE LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE

Fully capable: @Mom DO U SEE THIS

Fully capable: Marry this bitch like yesterday

Mom: Yoon-oh 

Square: huh?

Square: ily babe but neither of us can get married rn

Mom: no not that

Mom: come over

Square: yes but also why

Square: I'll be there in 15

Mom: u know how 10 just got railed? 

Square: be there in 10

Sicheng: why can't call someone the light of my life and then fuck them

Yuyu: I am

Yuyu: RIGHT HERE

Sicheng: no

Sicheng: anywho don't break the bed

Mom: no promises!!!

Chicago: imagine being so cute the chat condones talking about getting smashed

Gay: when will it be us

Sicheng: never u kinky bitch

Gay: fuck u

Sicheng: let's not make johnny jealous

Chicago: 10 I'm going to fight him

Gay: HA go ahead 

Gay: I'd like to see u try

Sicheng: turn on ur location tall stupid

Chicago: tall stupid

Chicago: that is the best u have

Sicheng: lil bitch

Chicago: @Gay I'm going to kill him

Gay: I'm still waiting for u to try

Sicheng: I will kick ball change a fucking foot up ur ass

Chicago: dancer insults can't hurt if I can't understand 

Sicheng: do u know what an arabesque turn is

Chicago: yes

Sicheng: I'm going to kick you with it

 

Jaeyong

10:11 PM 

 

Mom: hey babe

Square: sup

Mom: first off, today was great and I'm still sore

Sqaure: then I've done my job 

Mom: also

Mom: as adorable as it was, you didn't have to call me light of ur life hun ik u love me

Square typing: oh my god I wasn't lying

Square typing: oh my god I 

Square: babe I love you and I wasnt lying

Square: like so much and I don't wanna scare you away by saying this but I really see the possibility of a future with you ya know?

Mom: I do too, but I didn't know you wanted the same

Mom: when things are calmer, and we have money and shit imma marry you so hard 

Square: I'm holding u to that

Mom: when I've got a real job and not a little job like retail rn we finna do that shit

Square: love that

Square: also go to bed!! 

Mom: do your homework!!!

Square: ok we will do the things we need to do

Mom: after u fuck me again!!!!

Square: I thought you were sore

Mom: sore² then

Mom: p l e a s e I'll sleep better

Mom: I'll pick u up and drive u to class in the morning

Square: deal

Mom: u better be good

Square: bitxh of course I will be good my dick has charged to full power

Mom: never mind that was the worst thing you've ever said

Square: come onnnn

Mom: alright 

Mom: love ya 

Square: ^-^