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Ice Cream Machine Broke... Again

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

 

14.37

McKookie: Im gonna have a stroke

McKookie: Ice-cream machine broke

 

Yoongi: you got them rhymes kid

 

Seokjinnie: Again?

 

McKookie: Yes, again.

McKookie: I swear to god this can't be a coincidence

McKookie: Fourth time this week

McKookie: Fourth fucking time

 

Seokjinnie: Yah! Language!

 

McKookie: Sorry hyung I'm just frustrated:(

 

Seokjinnie: It's okay boo:)💜

Seokjinnie: But wait

Seokjinnie: Isn't Yoongi responsible for fixing it?

 

Yoongi: yes i am

 

Seokjinnie: Then what are you doing here?

 

Yoongi: waiting for my stop

Yoongi: and yes i have a car but *someone* ( @Bookjoon) borrowed it :)

 

Seokjinnie: Alright no need to end it

Seokjinnie: I know what probably comes next

Bookjoon is online

Bookjoon: I'm here, what's the matter?

 

McKookie: Hyung, run

 

Bookjoon: What?

 

Yoongi: :)

 

Bookjoon: O h

Bookjoon is offline

Seokjinnie: Poor soul

Seokjinnie Totally deserved it tho

 

McKookie: Anyway

McKookie: Manager Jung is furious

McKookie: And you know, he's always so cheerful and friendly

McKookie: So seeing him angry is the worst thing possible

McKookie: I'm seriously scared for my life

 

Yoongi: oh come on kook

Yoongi: hes not that scary

Yoongi: everytime i come to fix the machine hes like

Yoongi: "im so sorry for the trouble mr min"

Yoongi: even tho i said multiple times to just call me yoongi

Yoongi: the closest i got was "yoongi-ssi"

 

Seokjinnie: Are you serious oh my god

 

McKookie: Yeah well

McKookie: You're scarier 

McKookie: And he knows it

 

Yoongi: whatever, im at my stop

Yoongi: be there in 5

 

McKookie: See you soon hyung!

 

Seokjinnie: Bye Yoongi, don't kill anyone💜

 

Yoongi: no promises

Yoongi is offline

 

15.39

Yoongi: alright

Yoongi: something weird just happened

 

Seokjinnie: ?

 

Yoongi: so you know kihyun right

Yoongi: the place is pretty big but somehow we always bump into each other

 

Seokjinnie: The Stealing Beef Patties Kihyun?

 

Yoongi: thats him

Yoongi: so im fixing the machine

Yoongi: as fucking always nowadays

Yoongi: and that guy comes up to me and says: "you shouldn't have come back here"

 

Bookjoon: What?

 

Yoongi: and i just casually answer "well i like money so im here"

Yoongi: but thats not the end

Yoongi: he then proceeds to explain to me how the ice-cream machine is clearly hunted and every time i fix it im angering the ancient ghost that lives there

Yoongi: im all for ghost stories but not when im trying to work

Yoongi: so i tell him to chill and jesus-

Yoongi: he looked so heartbroken and said that im a real cool guy and he doesn't want me to be cursed

 

Seokjinnie: Oh my god what lol

 

Bookjoon: Ahahaha poor guy

 

Yoongi: apparently hes scared of some machine but not me

Yoongi: but he was really sweet so i told him that im immune to curses or some shit like that

 

Bookjoon: Did it work though?

 

Yoongi: yes

 

Seokjinnie: Awww Yoongi your heart is showing

 

Yoongi: shut up

Yoongi: ...hyung

 

Seokjinnie: Careful there dear:)

 

Bookjoon: It's seriously frightening how Jin-hyung can use smiley faces in different ways

 

Yoongi: back to the topic guys

 

Bookjoon: That wasn't the end?

 

Yoongi: no

Yoongi: literally not a minute later some bitch sneezed right into my face

Yoongi: so maybe i am cursed after all

 

Seokjinnie: WHAT

Seokjinnie: Yoongi are you okay?

 

Yoongi: of course i am wtf

Yoongi: it was disgusting but it was just a sneeze come on

Yoongi: and i was already on my way back so sadly it wasnt an employee i could threaten 

 

Seokjinnie: Well I hope so

Seokjinnie: My friend does something like that sometimes

Seokjinnie: I'm always telling him to sneeze into his elbow

Seokjinnie: But he hardly ever listens…

 

Yoongi: tell him then that he better starts doing that because im pretty sure i scared the hell out of that guy

Yoongi: and if your friend will do the same thing to me then you wont have a friend anymore:)))

 

Seokjinnie: I will- I'll tell him that

 

Yoongi: youre welcome

 

17.16

McKookie: I waited 2 hours to tell you this so sit down and relax because you're in for a ride.

 

Bookjoon: We're grocery shopping with Jin-hyung, there are no chairs

 

McKookie: Then read at your own risk

McKookie: Have you ever seen someone so beautiful you went into shock?

McKookie: Because that's exactly what happened to me

 

Bookjoon: "Every morning when I gaze into mirror" ~Jin-hyung

 

McKookie: ...Of course

 

Bookjoon: But Kookie, doesn't this happen to you on a daily basis?

 

McKookie: Technically yes

McKookie: But usually it's because of women

McKookie: This time though? It was a  m a n

McKookie: A man, hyung

 Yoongi is online

McKookie: And you know me, I'm easily awestruck and this guy comes to me

McKookie: Like he couldn't use the ordering machine or whatever that is

McKookie: And asks for ICE CREAM

 

Bookjoon: And you were a stuttering mess, am I right?

Bookjoon: "Come on Jeon don't keep your hyungs waiting" ~Jin-hyung

 

McKookie: well yes but no

McKookie: I mumbled something like "ice cream is no more" but what actually came out was "ice cream no"

McKookie: And I couldn't sTOP STARING GOD

McKookie: The guy was confused so he asks "Ice cream machine broke?"

McKookie: So I, like the idiot I am, said "Understandable, have a nice day"

 

Yoongi: Jungkook what the fuck

Seokjinnie is online

Seokjinnie: Alright Namjoon dropped his phone AND our groceries, what did you say to the guy

Seokjinnie: OH MY GOD JUNGKOOK WHAT THE HELL AHAHAHAHAA

 

McKookie: Thanks hyung

 

Yoongi: what happened next

 

Seokjinnie: I see Yoongi's bi ass is ready for the drama hmm

 

Yoongi: im not denying that

 

McKookie: As I was registering what I just said, the guy was completely stunned for a sec and then started giggling.

McKookie: And if I wasn't already embarrassed I'd say it was a nice sound

McKookie: But I didn't.

McKookie: Then he ordered a hamburger and that was the end of my embarrassment

McKookie: No words were exchanged after that, thankfully

 

Bookjoon: Still a better love story than Twilight

 

Yoongi: couldn't agree more

 

Seokjinnie: I wonder if your manager knew about your awkward encounters, would he do everything in his power not to place you at the counter

 

McKookie: Idk, I won't tell him this that's for sure

McKookie: I'm dead tired now

McKookie: @Yoongi I'm gonna have a nap, don't wake me up when you arrive

 

Yoongi: sure kid

McKookie is offline

Seokjinnie: So is no-one gonna talk about how Jungkook just got awestruck by a guy

 

Yoongi: ? is that a problem?

 

Seokjinnie: Not at all

Seokjinnie: Come on Yoongi, I'm bi myself

 

Yoongi: yeah sorry just being overprotective

 

Seokjinnie: As always

 

Bookjoon: I wonder what the guy must have been like for Jungkook to be mesmerized

 

Seokjinnie: Yeah I always show him pretty faces on campus but he never bats an eye

Seokjinnie:

Bookjoon: We probably will never know

 

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

14.47

Hoesok: JIMIN

Hoesok: I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR BREAK

Hoesok: ANSWER ME 

Hoesok: DID YOU CATCH THE CULPRIT

Hoesok: Oh right

Hoesok: @Succubi

 

Gray: ? What happened?

 

Hoesok: What happened isn't important right now

Hoesok: WHO DID IT IS

Succubi is online

Succubi: Is2g

Succubi: Uh,,,,,

Succubi: I don't know Hobi…… I was talking with someone when it happened

 

Hoesok: Jimin you had one fucking job

Hoesok: If I have to call for the maintenance one more fucking time Im gonna sNAP

 

Babyboy:

 

Hoesok: Tae don't start with me now 

 

Succubi: But no one's gonna take it from your pay so what does is matter

 

Hoesok: IT MATTERS BECAUSE SOMEONE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE JIMIN

Hoesok: I DON'T WANNA HAVE ANY TRAITORS IN MY MACDONALD.

Hoesok: I swear to god when I get my hands on this person Im gonna strangle them

 

Succubi: ….

Succubi: Tae come here I need your support

 

Babyboy: In what

Babyboy: Do you have something you want to tell us?

 

Succubi: No. But furious Hoseok is an unpredictable Hoseok.

 

Babyboy: Can't deny

Babyboy: I need to finish some things first

Babyboy: Give me 20 minutes jiminie 💜

Babyboy is offline

Gray: Hoseok are you still trying to confirm that someone is sabotaging the ice cream machine?

 

Hoesok: Yes and Im 100% sure its being sabotaged

Hoesok: 5th time this week

 

Gray: Are you sure tho

Gray: I mean

Gray: Kookie is also working at McDonald's and their ice cream machine is always broken too

 

Hoesok: What Kookie, you mean your maknae?

 

Gray: Yeah

Gray: Maybe that's how it is

Gray: Maybe you shouldn't sell ice cream

 

Hoesok: HA

Hoesok: As if!

Hoesok: Maybe someone is sabotaging their machine too!

 

Gray: I mean-

Gray: He's saying the same thing

Gray: But come on, there can't be 2 persons sabotaging some innocent machines

 

Succubi: I'm with hyung on that one:((

Succubi: Don't be mad Hobi but I think the stress is coming to you

 

Hoesok: Aish, maybe you have a point

Hoesok: The place is too big even for 2 managers

Hoesok: But still, it drives me crazy

Hoesok: Especially cause of that scary af mechanic 

Hoesok: Seeing him practically everyday takes 10 years from my lifespan

Hoesok: brb

Hoesok is offline

Gray: I think that every mechanic is kinda scary

Gray: It's part of the job

 

Succubi: Oh he's here!!

Succubi is offline

Gray: ?

Gray: Who's here

Gray: Taehyung?

Gray: Hoes cOmE ON


[ ChimChim & TaeTae ]

15.15

Taetae

JIMIN I SNEEZED AT SOME GUY'S FACR

IM SO SORRY

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

 

ChimChim

You WHAT

JIN AND I WILL KILL YOU

TaeTae

NO I BEG YOU

DON'T TELL HIM

HE'S ALWAYS PREACHING ABOUT HYGIENE 

And anyway

I won't ever do it again

(・_・;)

ChimChim

?????

Why???

I mean,,, that's good

But why so sure

TaeTae

That guy jiminie…

That guy is scary

As in

I Prefer Furious Hoseok Over Him scary

 

ChimChim

Oh

TaeTae

He made a disgusted face

But that's pretty normal right

Then….

He glared

But that glare

That glare send shivers down my spine

I think he's a murderer

A handsome murderer

Jiminie please don't ever date someone like that

 

ChimChim

Tae chill

I don't even know him

Yet ;)))))

TaeTae

IM SERIOUS

He's bad news

ChimChim

Those are the best;););)

ANYWAY

You there yet?

TaeTae

Ugh

In a moment

 

[ Hoes ]

16.00

Babyboy: Guys you won't believe this omg

Babyboy: Is anyone here??? 

Babyboy: Hellooooo

Babyboy: @Succubi @Hoesok @Gray

Succubi is online

Succubi: This better be good

Succubi: If Hobi finds out I'm not working he'll skin me alive

 

Babyboy: Bitch my story is pure gold

Babyboy: But first

Babyboy: Where's jinnie hyung

 

Succubi: uhhh

Succubi: I think he's studying? We were talking but he said he needs to review cause he's going out grocery shopping with Namjoon later

Succubi: So as always

Succubi: He muted us:)

 

Babyboy: Noooo :((( he never reads back tho :(((

 

Succubi: He did, but then someone was spamming the gc so now he doesn't.

 

Babyboy: Hehe

Babyboy: His loss

Babyboy: So after I talked with jiminie I thought hey I wanna eat

Babyboy: And you know me guys, I love talking so I went straight to the counter to order and maybe have a little chat with the cashier

Babyboy: But boy! Dunno what happened, he was either scared or mesmerized by something???

Babyboy: Idek, maybe he was having a flashback???? Poor guy (;´Д`)

Babyboy: He mumbled something like ice cream no

 

Succubi: Wait, you ordered ice cream? You know the machine's broken

 

Babyboy: Yea but I wanted to chat!! Broken machine was a perfect topic!!:((

Babyboy: So I asked ice cream machine broke??? I was starting to be a little bit worried cause he was real pale and all:( 

Babyboy: And then he memed me

 

Succubi: He what

 

Babyboy: HE MEMED ME JIMIN

Babyboy: "Understandable, have a nice day"

 

Succubi: oH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT IN THE-

Succubi: GUY HAS THE GUTS

 

Babyboy: I KNOW RIGHT I STARTED GIGGLING AFTER REGISTERING WHAT HE SAID

Babyboy: But he looked even more dead than before so I decided that nah I think he doesn't want to be in the spotlight so I ordered a hamburger and left lol

 

Succubi: WHAT A POOR GUY

Succubi: WHAT WAS HIS NAME

Succubi: I NEED TO SEE HIM

 

Babyboy: Idk didn't check

 

Succubi: You fucking dumbass…..

 

Babyboy: Hey:((( he had brown hair tho?? And brown eyes

 

Succubi: Tae everyone has brown or dark hair here

 

Babyboy: You don't? You're blonde:(

 

Succubi: Yeah well I need to stand out, we've talked about this

 

Babyboy: Right

Babyboy: As I was saying

Hoesok is online

Succubi is offline

Hoesok: Jimin I saw you typing on your fucking phone

Hoesok: You're dead

Hoesok is offline

Babyboy: Rip lol

 

16.30

Hoesok is online

Hoesok: God I'm so done with them

Hoesok: Bunch of idiots 😑

Hoesok: I need a break

 

17.40

Gray: Hoseokie:(( Are you still there

 

Hoesok: Yes hyung

 

Gray: Want to eat out? Food's on me:)💜

 

Hoesok: Aaaaaaa hyung I love you💖💖💖

 

Gray: Now that's the Hoseok we all love

Gray: I'll be with another friend tho is that okay?

 

Hoesok: Sure!! If they are okay with it ofc

 

Gray: I'm sure he'll be fine with it:)

Gray: See you soon then

 

Hoesok: See you!

 

17.55

Gray: We're almost there!

Gray: You can come out now

 

Hoesok: On my way!

 

Gray: Yoongi says he wants to show us some really nice bbq place

 

Hoesok: Wait wait wait

Hoesok: Yoongi?

Hoesok: As in Min Yoongi?

 

Gray: Oh God don't tell me you know each other

 

Hoesok: FUCK I SEE THEM

Hoesok: IT'S HIM

Hoesok: THAT FRIGHTENING MECHANIC

Hoesok is offline

Gray: HOSEOK COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH

Gray: YOU PROMISED

Gray is offline

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

23.19

Seokjinnie added Jung Hoseok to the group chat

 

Bookjoon: What is happening

 

Jung Hoseok: God 

Seokjinnie set Jung Hoseok's nickname to Coward

Coward: Woah, I'd expect everything from you but a lame 'coward'?

 

Seokjinnie: There's a child in this group,  behave

 

Coward: Does this mean than Jin hyung doesn't swear here??

 

Bookjoon: Yes

Yoongi is online

Coward: Yghhh

 

Seokjinnie: Hoseok 

 

Coward: Sorry

 

Seokjinnie: Pity Kookie isn't here but he will read later

 

Yoongi: hyung you don't have to do this

 

Coward: I agree with Yoongi-ssi

 

Yoongi: call me yoongi-ssi one more time and no seokjin will ever save you

 

Coward: I'm sorry pls don't kill me

 

Yoongi: good

 

Seokjinnie: So it turns out that Hoseok and Yoongi already knew each other

 

Bookjoon: But who's Hoseok

 

Coward: That's me, hi

 

Bookjoon: I know

 

Seokjinnie: Ah right

Seokjinnie: Hobi, introduce yourself

 

Coward: Alright mom

Coward: Good evening my name is Jung Hoseok, I was born in '94 I wanted to be a dancer but I ended up in McDonald's

Coward: Pleasure to meet you all 🤗

 

Bookjoon: Why does everyone work in McDonald's?

Bookjoon: Either way, my name is Kim Namjoon, I'm a bookseller but also a Philosophy and English philology major

Bookjoon: I'm also from 1994. September 12th and you?

 

Coward: Ha! I'm from February 18th! I'm your hyung then!

 

Bookjoon: Aish

 

Yoongi: do i need to introduce myself

 

Coward: No

 

Seokjinnie: Yes

 

Yoongi: im min yoongi, mechanic and music production major

Yoongi: im also older than you but theres no need to be so formal with me

 

Seokjinnie: Alright I've waited enough

Seokjinnie: Look at this

Seokjinnie: 

Seokjinnie: If you look close enough you'll see the pleading for death in my eyes

Seokjinnie: That was the only reason I asked someone to take the photo instead of taking it myself

 

Bookjoon: I see Yoongi is still sporting than ugly hat

 

Yoongi: excuse you

Yoongi: my hair smells of cheeseburgers there was no need to make everyone smell it as well

 

Seokjinnie: Wow so caring

 

Yoongi: i love how hoseok is resting his hand on hyungs shoulder 

Yoongi: "please hyung dont leave me with him"

 

Coward: Where's the lie tho

 

Seokjinnie: Aish you two are awful

 

Coward: I'm sorry Jinnie but you friend is too scary

Coward: And I'd know

Coward: I see him practically every day:)))

 

Yoongi: oh right

Yoongi: why does your ice cream machine break on a daily basis?

Yoongi: not like im complaining 

Yoongi: as long as it pays the bills

Yoongi: but im still curious

 

Coward: I would love to know as well:)))

 

Seokjinnie: Yoongi don't

Seokjinnie: He's on a verge of insanity because of this

 

Coward: I'm just sure that someone sabotages the machine!! Come on it's McDonald's reputation on the line here!

 

[ Min Yoongi & Jung Hoseok ]

23.38

Jung Hoseok set his nickname to Hobi

 

Hobi

Hyung

Min Yoongi

woah

did you just call me hyung

Hobi

Yes

But that's not the point

You want to know the truth too right

Min Yoongi

you mean the ice cream machine

Hobi

Ya

Obviously it's not machine's fault

Min Yoongi

so

Hobi

So help me

Help me catch the culprit

I'll do whatever you want

Please

Min Yoongi

interesting

do you have a suspect?

Hobi

No

But there's a lot of shady people here

Like Kihyun

Min Yoongi

the stealing beef patties kihyun?

Hobi

The steaLinG WHAT?

Min Yoongi

nvm 

i think we're talking about different kihyuns

Hobi

?????I HOPE SO???

What the fuck

Min Yoongi

idk hoseok

kihyun couldn't have done it

At least my kihyun wouldn't

but most kihyuns are the same

 

Hobi

….

I have a lot of names

After all

I need to put up with them all the time:))

Just

Just keep an eye open

See if someone acts suspicious

My friend was supposed to watch the machine but he's awful at his job

Min Yoongi

what do you mean

Hobi

Everytime it happens he just isn't there to witness

Even though I said I would give him a bonus

Somehow

Min Yoongi

i know the place is big

but he never was near when it happened?

Hobi

Never:(((

Hyung please

I'm grasping at straws here

Min Yoongi

I don't know…

Hobi

I'll do everything I'm serious!

Min Yoongi

hmmm

alright 

i guess I can help you

Hobi

Aaaaaa!!

Thank you hyung!!!💜

Hobi set Min Yoongi's nickname to Best Hyung ever

Best Hyung ever

im already regretting this 

but hoseok

keep this convo between us

Hobi

Sure thing (・∀・)

You can call me Hobi tho!!

Best Hyung ever

ok


[ King and the peasants ]

23.49

McKookie is online

 

McKookie: Why is Yoongi hyung grinning at his phone

 

Bookjoon: What

 

Seokjinnie: WHAT?

 

Yoongi: dammit jungkook

 

Coward: Hyung :0

Coward: Don't tell me…

 

Yoongi: no

Yoongi is offline

Seokjinnie: HOSEOK SPILL THE TEA

 

Coward: I can't :((

 

McKookie: Hold on who is this

 

Coward: I'm Hobi

Coward: Helloooo??

 

Seokjinnie: He's prob reading the gc give him time

 

Coward: Oh alright

 

Bookjoon: So we're going to ignore that Yoongi just got exposed?

 

Seokjinnie: Of course not

Seokjinnie: Who do you think I am

 

Coward:

Coward: I'll only say that

Coward: Turns out Yoongi hyung is just a softie with a cold persona

 

Bookjoon: Dammit

 

Coward: ???

 

Seokjinnie: I won the bet ahahah

 

Coward: I'm confused

 

McKookie: OH MY GOD HE'S MY MANAGER

 

Bookjoon: Jin and I were betting how long it will take for you to stop being scared of Yoongi

Bookjoon: I gave you a day while Jin only half that much

 

Coward: Oooh

 

Seokjinnie: Kookie there's no need to be shocked, you know Hoseok is a cinnamon bun

 

Coward: I'm your hope!

Coward: I'm your angel! 👼

Seokjinnie set Coward's nickname to I'm J-Hope

McKookie: I know… but it's weird to be with Manager-nim in the same gc…

 

Seokjinnie: MANAGER-NIM

Seokjinnie: I'm saving this

 

I'm J-hope: Awww what a pure boy

 

Seokjinnie: He will change his mind once he tastes the true Hoseok Experience™

 

I'm J-hope: True

 

Bookjoon: Just who did you add to the group-

 

Seokjinnie: You'll see ;)

 

I'm J-hope: Sooo @McKookie you're Jungkook right

 

McKookie: Uh, yes

McKookie: Jeon Jungkook

 

I'm J-hope: Do you happen to work nearby the ice cream machine?

 

Seokjinnie: Are you serious

 

McKookie: No! And I'm also frustrated that is always broken!

 

I'm J-hope: Ooooh right, you're THE Kookie

I'm J-hope: Yeah I believe you ^v^

 

McKookie: Thank you?

 

Seokjinnie: I mentioned you in our other gc

 

McKookie: Oh okay

 

I'm J-hope: Nothing bad tho : D

 

McKookie: Sure… um

McKookie: I think I'll call it a night then

McKookie: Goodnight Manager-nim

McKookie: Goodnight hyungs

 

Seokjinnie: Sweet dreams Kookie💜

 

Bookjoon: Have a nice rest

 

I'm J-Hope: Night!

McKookie is offline

I'm J-Hope: Alright your friends are fun

 

Bookjoon: Glad you like us

 

Seokjinnie: See, there was no need to run away and barricade yourself in your house

 

I'm J-Hope: HYUNG

 

Bookjoon: I love this ahaha

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

9.00

McKookie: Have anyone seen Yoongi-hyung?

McKookie: He's not here

McKookie: And it's weekend? He always sleeps on the weekend

 

Bookjoon: Maybe he woke up earlier and went out?

 

McKookie: Impossible, I'm awake since 8 because of that photography classes

McKookie: And he already was out

 

Bookjoon: Alright that do seem weird

 

McKookie: Right?? And before you ask, yes I called him AND texted him. Received an answer to neither:(

 

Bookjoon: Huh, he couldn't just disappear, but why would he voluntarily leave so early? That's not like him

 

Bookjoon: Maybe Seokjin-hyung made him go somewhere

 

Bookjoon: @Seokjinnie

 

McKookie: Ugh I don't have time for this I'll just call him

 

Bookjoon: Let me know how it goes

Bookjoon: Oh my God he's really doing it

Bookjoon: Rip Jungkook

 

McKookie: Alright so that was a bad idea

McKookie: He was sleeping

McKookie: And now I have a bounty on my head

McKookie: Haha kill me now before he does it

 

Bookjoon: I don't know what to say

Bookjoon: You brought this upon yourself

 

McKookie: I was WORRIED

 

Bookjoon: Come on Kookie, Yoongi's a grown ass man

Bookjoon: He can take care of himself

 

McKookie: Yeah but what if… you know

 

Bookjoon: Nothing like that will happen

Bookjoon: We would know

 

McKookie: Right…

 

Bookjoon: Well then, I'm going back to getting ready, call me when Yoongi hyung reaches up to you

 

McKookie: Okay, have a nice day

 

Bookjoon: :)

Bookjoon is offline

 

[ Grumpy Cat & Prince ]

12.30

Prince

You better fucking hope that something had happened to you before I have my hands on you

Grumpy Cat

what did i do again

Prince

Because of you, Jungkook was worried and so he called me to ask about you

On 9 in the fucking morning

Grumpy Cat

sorry

i'm out with hoseok

Hi Hyung!!!

We planned this meeting about a week ago

Sorry that I haven't told you:((((

Prince

Hobi, sunshine

It's alright

Just tell us next time

It's not normal for Yoongi to be awake at this hours

Grumpy Cat

Oh :((( I didn't know

Sorry Jinnie:(((

We're having fun tho!!

Prince

Aww look at you

You even have matching outfits💜

Grumpy Cat

you wont let me live this one down do you

Prince

Another person you're whipped just as much as for Jungkook?

Hell no:))

Grumpy Cat

fuck you

 

[ King and the peasants ]

12.44

Seokjinnie: Want to see a happy picture of Yoongi?

 

McKookie: Yoongi is alive?

Yoongi is online

Seokjinnie: He is and he's also having a great time:)

 

Yoongi: okay sorry see? im sorry

Yoongi: theres no need for this

Yoongi: i wont ever cuss you out again

 

Seokjinnie: Sure

 

Yoongi: I promise Hyung.

 

McKookie: Woah you made him use proper punctuation. Shit must be good

 

Seokjinnie: Yah

 

McKookie: Fine:(

 

Seokjinnie: Turns out a week and a half is enough for Yoongi to fall in love

 

Yoongi: oh come on hobi isnt even gay

 

McKookie: Wait

 

Yoongi: fuck

 

Seokjinnie: WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT 

Seokjinnie: I don't really need to do anything in this gc

Seokjinnie: You're exposing yourself without me

I'm J-hope is online

I'm J-hope: What's happening, I think Yoongi has a mental breakdown

I'm J-hope: Uh, love????

 

Seokjinnie: Don't worry Hobi, in this family, we say we love each other on a daily basis:))

Seokjinnie: But Yoongi always says that he doesn't like strangers 

Seokjinnie: Took him a year to admit he likes us

Seokjinnie: Tho I might've formulated the sentence to seem like something more than platonic love

 

I'm J-hope: Ooohh I see where this is going

I'm J-hope: Nice one Jinnie

I'm J-hope: Yoongi hyung, you're a total idiot

I'm J-hope: But I love you too💜

 

McKookie: Wait so we are talking about platonic love right

McKookie: I'm confused

 

Seokjinnie: Yes Kookie, if you would know Jimin and Taehyung you would understand immediately what I've meant…

 

I'm J-hope: Oh God yes

I'm J-hope: Those two are awful

I'm J-hope: They call themselves 'platonic soulmates'

 

Yoongi: ew

 

I'm J-hope: He says that but I see him cooing at his phone

 

McKookie: Ahahaha Yoongi hyung, don't ever change

 

Yoongi: I hate all of you

 

[ Hoes ]

16.34

Succubi: Hobi is so quiet lately

Succubi: Is he okay?

 

Babyboy: Yea I hope he's okay:(

Babyboy: You work with him tho, did he seem off?

 

Succubi: Not at all

Succubi: Still as furious as before

 

Babyboy: So I guess the machine saga continues huh

Babyboy: Aish Jiminie

 

Succubi: What's up

 

Babyboy: You know exactly what's up

Babyboy: But yeah

Babyboy: It's for the better good

Babyboy: The machine's def cursed 

Hoesok is online

Babyboy: Like every McDonald's

 

Hoesok: It's weekend, I don't want to hear anything about ice cream

 

Babyboy: Sorry:((

 

Hoesok: It's okay Tae

Hoesok: I'm sorry guys that I'm inactive lately

Hoesok: I've met this guy, Yoongi

 

Succubi: Oh?;)

 

Babyboy: Oooohhh;))

 

Hoesok: It's nothing like that sluts, don't even think about it

 

Babyboy: Nah we know it hyung, we're just fucking with you(๑´ڡ`๑)

 

Succubi: Is he hot tho?

 

Babyboy: Jimin I thought you already had a crush

 

Succubi: TAE

 

Hoesok: JIMIN HAS A CRUSH? WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ANYTHING??

 

Succubi: Shut it 

Succubi: This is exactly my reason

Succubi: Plus you would've told Jin hyung

 

Hoesok: Pffft, no???

 

Succubi: Hoseok did you just

Gray is online

Gray: JIMIN HAS A CRUSH?

 

Succubi: Oh for fuck's sake

 

[ Taetae & ChimChim ]

16.42

ChimChim

Tae we need to do something

They can't know

TaeTae

I get it why Hobi mustn't

But Jinnie??

ChimChim

Yeah well

He has connections, surely he will figure it out sooner or later

He knows e v e r y o n e

You know this

TaeTae

Damn meds students:/

Okay so

Jinnie would expose you unintentionally

And hoseok would expose you voluntarily

Hmmm

ChimChim

:(((((

See, we have to do something

TaeTae

Calm down love

I've got this

;)

ChimChim

??????

You better

 

[ Hoes ]

16.58

Gray: You're probably right

Gray: Oh Jimin's back

Gray: Well?

 

Jimin: Uh you see…

 

Babyboy: Um, Hobi hyung?

Babyboy: I know it's weekend

Babyboy: But I'm at McDonald's and um

 

Hoesok: I said no McDonald's today

 

Babyboy: Yes but I just saw a guy tinkering with the ice cream machine

Babyboy: Nobody was looking at him??? I mean, some were, but ignored him lol

 

Hoesok: WHAT

 

Gray: OMG HOW DOES HE LOOK LIKE

 

Babyboy: I was ordering so I didn't have much time for observation

Babyboy: He had brown hair

 

Hoesok: Tae I swear to God, everyone has hair like that

 

Gray: Jimin doesn't

 

Hoesok: Hyung

Hoesok: Shut up

 

Gray: Wow ok

 

Babyboy: That's not all come on

Babyboy: He had brown eyes obv but they were kinda big?? Like from that disney movie

 

Gray: Bambi?

 

Babyboy: Omg yes how did you know?

 

Hoesok: Oh my fucking God

 

Gray: No way, there's no way

 

Hoesok: I thought he was also angry about it???

 

Gray: Taehyung

 

Babyboy: ...yes?

 

Gray: Did he have bunny teeth

 

Hoesok: Wtf

 

Babyboy: How would I know? I was ordering a hamburger not a furry

 

Gray: Lol nice one

Gray: Piercings then

 

Babyboy: I guess, more than one

 

Hoesok: I'll kill him

 

Gray: Hoesok no

Gray: Not until I arrive

 

Hoesok: You're coming with me?

 

Gray: Of course, you don't even know where he lives

 

Hoesok: I mean, I would've checked in work register 

 

Gray: Isn't that illegal?

 

Hoesok: And murder isn't?

 

Gray: Fair point

Gray: I'm coming to you, wait for me

Gray is offline

Hoesok is offline

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

17.22

ChimChim

Omg TaeTae that worked!!

But also

What the fuck

TaeTae

I didn't know it would end up like this

ChimChim

You made that up?

TaeTae

Yes

But I described the meme cashier

ChimChim

Omg poor guy

TaeTae

I DIDN'T KNOW JIN ALSO KNEW HIM

I JUST SENTENCED SOME POOR SOUL TO DIE

ChimChim

Dw

You saved me tho

And I'm like 4 meme cashiers

TaeTae

True

You are💜

ChimChim

Thank you TaeTae💜

I love you💜

TaeTae

(*´ω`*)

Love ya too💜💜

 

Kim Seokjin created a new group chat with Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin

17.30

Kim Seokjin set the group's name to ;)

 

Kim Seokjin: Just wanted to say that

Kim Seokjin: @Kim Taehyung

Kim Seokjin: I know you've lied

Kim Seokjin: I'm not as dumb as Hoseok

Kim Seokjin: I just love the drama

 

Kim Taehyung: Figures

 

Kim Seokjin: But now I'm even more interested in why would want to change the subject so much

 

Park Jimin: Hyung come on, just let it go

 

Kim Seokjin: You don't understand Jimin

Kim Seokjin: I WILL find out

Kim Seokjin: Sooner than later

Kim Seokjin: Just thought I'll let you know

Kim Seokjin: ;)

Kim Seokjin has left the group chat

Kim Taehyung: Well that escalated quickly

 

Park Jimin: We are so dead

 

Kim Taehyung: You're so dead*

 

Park Jimin: I'm dragging you with me:)

 

Kim Taehyung: Sometimes I regret that we're soulmates

Kim Taehyung: :(

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

21.52

Bookjoon: Hey is he better?

 

Yoongi: dw i patched him up

Yoongi: never wouldve thought hoseok was a biter

 

Bookjoon: You make it sound weird

 

Yoongi: thats the point joon

Yoongi: anyway kooks feeling better although a little shaken up

 

I'm J-hope: i'm so, so sorry Jungkook

I'm J-hope: It's a really stressful situation going on for months

I'm J-hope: And Tae's description matched you so well I overreacted…

I'm J-hope: I'll make it up to you I swear _| ̄|○

 

Yoongi: You better.

 

Bookjoon: I got shivers, no kidding

 

I'm J-hope: Me too;;;;

 

Yoongi: It's okay Hoseok-ssi

Yoongi: It hurt like hell though

 

I'm J-hope: JUNGKOOK I'M SO SORRY

 

Yoongi: hoseok ill end you

 

Bookjoon: The best part is that you don't even need clarifying to know who's speaking

 

Yoongi: Haha true

Yoongi: But I'm serious, I'm okay now, no need to worry about me

 

Bookjoon: Kookie I love you but quit with your bullshit, we all know you

 

Yoongi:

Yoongi: Alright I think I'm gonna have a big ass scar on my forearm

 

Bookjoon: That's better

 

I'm J-hope: Guys this is nOT HELPING

 

Yoongi: it is so kindly shut up

Yoongi: jungkook says it hurts to type for so long so im just gonna pass the message

Yoongi: he said you have to tell taehyung that he is a dick and also take jungkook of the counter in mcdonalds

McKookie is online

McKookie: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT

McKookie: I just wanted for Hoseok-ssi to let me take it easy at work for a week or so

 

Bookjoon: Jungkook you shouldn't type right now, go and rest

 

McKookie: Yeah and then Hoseok-ssi will tell that bitch Taehyung that he's a dick

McKookie: Which he is but you get my point

 

I'm J-hope: It isn't his fault:( He has a big imagination maybe he was seeing things…

I'm J-hope: And I jumped to conclusions too quickly:(((

 

Bookjoon: Okay you're points are valid but,

Bookjoon: What about Jin-hyung?

 

Yoongi: what about him

 

Bookjoon: He was there as well, wasn't he?

 

McKookie: He did

McKookie: He laughed when Hoseok-ssi was shouting 

 

Yoongi:

 

McKookie: BUT

McKookie: He jumped into action when I got bitten

McKookie: Hoseok-ssi and I got scolded

McKookie: Then Seokjin hyung laughed again and said I've finally tasted the true Jung Hoseok Experience™

McKookie: And then Yoongi came back, but Seokjin hyung went to pharmacy bc we were out of bandages

McKookie: ...my arm hurts

 

Bookjoon: Ah

Bookjoon: So he fled

Bookjoon: Not surprised 

 

McKookie: Yea

McKookie: I'm going to rest

McKookie: Writing eith one hand nkw

McKookie: Uncomfotsble

 

Bookjoon: It's okay Kookie, go

McKookie is offline

 

[ Hobi & Best Hyung Ever ]

22.18

Best Hyung Ever

seriously hoseok

it wasn't him

Hobi

I know I know

I really am sorry

I'll give him light workload for a while

I promise

Best Hyung Ever

good but thats not why im here

i need to talk with your friend

Hobi

Nooo please don't kill Tae:((((

Best Hyung Ever

not that friend chill

the one from work

Hobi

You want to talk to Jimin?

Why?

Best Hyung Ever

for the past week you were bitching about your work and the machine situation

thought i could talk to him

see things from his perspective

Hobi

Awww Hyung you really want to help me💜

Best Hyung Ever

shut up

Hobi

Sure I could let him know💜

Best Hyung Ever

wait

Hobi

??

Best Hyung Ever

we need to make an excuse as to why i want to talk

Hobi

Umm sure??

Idk what tho

Best Hyung Ever

well then

make it up

quickly

Hobi

Ughh give me a sec

 

[ Jin & Manager-nim ]

22.26

 

Manager-nim

Hyung you there?

Hyuuuung I need you

Jin

Is it safe to read the group chat?

Manager-nim

Not yet but

I need your help with something

Please?

Jin

I guess I owe you one

After all you didn't sell me out to Yoongi

Manager-nim

I mean, Jungkook did

But he left some things out

And by that I meant our fight and you recording

...Jungkook can throw a punch😑

I can't go out in public like this

Jin

Ahahaha yeah that was gold

And his face when he understood that he had punched you

Ahhh

Manager-nim

Ugh

Honestly I feel old when he treats me like that

Jin

Calm down Manager-nim lol

Manager-nim

As I was saying

Jin

Right

Manager-nim

I need you to occupy Tae's whole day tomorrow

Jin

Why?

Manager-nim

I'm under no obligation to tell you

Jin

>:((

Alright, fuck your secrets then

Manager-nim

💜

Jin

Does it need to be tomorrow tho…

I wanted to have a nice calm sunday 

No studying

No Taehyungs 

Etc

Manager-nim

It has to be tomorrow!

Jin

Aigoo

Alright whatever

Anything else?

Manager-nim

Don’t bore him

Spend the whole day with him

Don’t let him out of your sight

And most importantly

Play along

Jin

Play along what

 

[ Hoes ]

22.32

Hoesok: Okay we really DO need to catch up huh

 

Succubi: Obviously

 

Babyboy: We miss you Hobi :((

 

Hoesok: Then listen to this!

Hoesok: Yoongi and I are going out tmrw but he’s okay with me taking someone with us

Hoesok: Sooo I thought it could be a good opportunity to introduce him to you!

 

Succubi: Omg count me in

 

Babyboy: Me too!!

 

Gray: Uh Tae…

Gray: We were supposed to meet up-

 

Babyboy: What? Really??

Babyboy: I don’t remember

 

Gray:  Oh I see how it is

Gray: You don’t want to see your poor old hyung

Gray:  So Yoongi is better than me now huh

 

Babyboy:  NO THAT’S NOT- BFHKEBDKSBb

Babyboy: Hyung can’t we postpone it:(((

 

Gray: Of course not

Gray: I asked you, hey tae do you want to meet with me on sunday? 

Gray: You were playing games and you said sure sure

Gray: So I guess you just plain ignored me

Gray: And here I am, thinking I’m going to the zoo with my favourite dongsaeng://

 

Babyboy:  Omg hyung Im so sorry…. let’s go to the zoo:(((

 

Succubi: Tae are you serious

Succubi: You gonna leave me for animals?

 

Gray: I can put you in a cage and mail it to the zoo if you want to be with Taehyung so bad :)

 

Succubi: Nvm have a nice day out

 

[ Jin & Manager-nim ]

22.45

Manager-nim

You are a fucking genius

I lov you

Jin

Yeah yeah

I know I’m perfect

I swear sometimes I wonder why I hadn’t took acting major

Drama flows in my veins

Manager-nim

We know it and we still choose to love you

 

[ Hoes ]

22.47

Hoesok: Okay so if that's settled-

Hoesok: Jimin we're gonna meet on 14.00 at that one cat cafe where Jin-hyung almost got killed

 

Succubi: Ahaha I remember that, good times

 

Gray: Stupid cat ruined my face

Gray: Which part of it was good

 

Succubi: The one where I recorded the whole thing

 

Gray: Whatever

Gray: Tae I'll pick you up from your place

Gray: We're going to grab something to eat and then go ok?

 

Babyboy: Okay(*´∀`*)

 

Gray: Alright

Gray: I'm going to review for now

Gray: Bye sluts

Gray is offline

Babyboy: I can't imagine Jin as a doctor

 

Succubi: Me neither

Succubi: Although, if you think about it

Succubi: Jinnie would be like doctors from the dramas 

 

Babyboy: :0 You're right



Jung Hoseok created a new group chat with Park Jimin and Min Yoongi

23.01

Jung Hoseok set group chat's name to MeetUp

Jung Hoseok set his nickname to Hope

Jung Hoseok set Park Jimin’s nickname to Mochi

Jung Hoseok set Min Yoongi’s nickname to Gummy

Min Yoongi set his nickname to No

 

Hope: Aww come on >:((

 

No: no

 

Mochi: What is happening

 

Hope: I’ve made a gc, might come in handy later :D

 

Mochi: Yes I can see that,,,

 

Hope: …Decided that hyung and you can get to know each other before tomorrow

Hope: You don't need to ofc

Hope: Just thought it would be nice:(

 

Mochi: Aww Hobi of course it's nice!

Mochi: Hi Yoongi-ssi, my name is Jimin:))

Mochi: I'm 23 and I like to dance!

 

Hope: He also did ballet when he was little aaand now he's one of the best in his year

 

No: he goes to the same uni as seokjin?

 

Hope: Nah he's at K-arts, dancer and all

 

No: oh 

No: same as me

 

Mochi: :0 what major?

 

No: music production

 

Mochi: Waah, that's so cool!

Mochi: Also, you know Seokjin? Kim Seokjin?

 

No: sometimes i wish i wouldnt

 

Mochi: Omg same

 

Hope: Ok guys, I'm gonna leave you for now

Hope: Today was… exhausting

 

No: yeah biting people must be tiring:)

 

Mochi: BITING?

 

Hope: HAHA LOOK AT THE TIME GOODNIGHT

Hope is offline

Mochi: Tell me what happened

Mochi: P l e a s e 

 

No: theres not much to this story

No: hoseok bit my friend in the forearm 

No: seokjin fled the crime scene

No: and im 100% sure that there was more but they havent told me

 

Mochi: Oh

Mochi: Oh God so it was your friend

 

No:

No: right, hoseok said once something about taehyung and jimin being soulmates

No: be glad your name isnt taehyung then:))

 

Mochi: ...Yes sir

Mochi: I'm sorry, If I knew I would've stopped him

 

No: i fucking hope so

No: so idk lets talk about things

 

Mochi: Sure! Do you want to hear about embarrassing situations Jin-hyung found himself in?

 

No: what kind of question is that?

 

Mochi: D:

 

No: obviously yes, what are you even waiting for

 

Mochi: :D



13.50

Hope: GUYS IM GONNA BE LATE IM SO SORRY

Hope: I WAS READING BACK THE WHOLE CONVO AND IT TOOK ME 1,5 HOURS

Hope: The Jin stories were stronger than my will to be on time

 

No: aish 

No: go then

No: dont waste anymore time

 

Mochi: Are you for real… I'm already here:((

 

No: you are?

No: ill be there soon 

No: it will be my first time here tho

 

Mochi: Oh don't worry about that, I'll show you around 

Mochi: Ah

 

No: what

 

Mochi: I don't know what you look like-

 

No: oh me neither

 

Mochi: Hobi hasn't showed you???:((

Mochi: Whatever, here I go

Mochi:

 

No: hm 

 

Mochi: What

 

No: i think i saw you before

 

Mochi: really????

 

No: yeah, you work at mcdonalds right?

No: anyway thats me

No: 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

13.58

ChimChim

FUCK

TAE

MY CRUSH

HOSEOK'S FRIEND IS MY CRUSH

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW

IM SO UNDERDRESSED

NOW I CAN'T SEDUCE HIM 

ENXJWNXJSKX

FUCK I SEE HIM

TAE PLEASE SAVE ME

But also

The blonde hair worked, he remembers me;)))

So suck it up Tae

Now I can finally dye it again

 

19.05

TaeTae

God I had so much fun today

I even met that cashier again

He lived!

 

Oh

OH GOD JIMIN I JUST SAW

ARE YOU ALRIGHT???

JIMIN PLEASE ANSWER ME

And good for you, it's time for a change anyway

But please please please be okay

Hoseok was so scared of him

I don't want anything to happen to you:((

 

20.27

TaeTae

Jimin:((((

Answer me

Chapter Text

Jimin's heart drove to a sudden stop after the doorbell sound rang throughout the café. He wasn't perfectly sure that it was indeed Him who came into the room. He was occupying himself with sending frantic messages to Taehyung, which didn't exactly soothe his nerves, but at least gave him something to focus on.

 

"Hi." A quiet and monotonous voice cut through the calming buzz in the café. He heard the scraping of a chair before him.

 

Jimin never really heard his voice before, he was always too far away to catch anything, and coming closer was a risk considering Hoseok's watchful eye.

 

He still didn't look up, but after a solid few seconds that has made the exchange more awkward, he mumbled out, "Hi."

 

In every scenario Jimin had imagined, he was always confident and lippy, but why when the push comes to shove he's so flustered?

 

He already knew that cute mechanic in McDonald's wouldn't be the same as his other dates the first time he saw him. Now that theory seems to be proven as Jimin can't utter a single word.

 

He heard a long sigh. He really needs to get himself together before he'll ruin his chances with Yoongi. He slowly looked up to see his crush staring at the floor with his head turned.

 

"Hoseok called me to say something came up, that something being Namjoon. He'll let me know when he's done."

 

Jimin wasn't sure if Yoongi was doing it on purpose, but the lack of eye contact was doing wonders to his anxiety. He put down his phone, quietly observing the man before him.

 

"How come we all know each other in some way?" He said with a small smile creeping upon his lips.

 

Yoongi keep his eyes on the floor, "What do you mean?"

 

"I know Namjoon-ssi too." He said while tracing his phone screen scratches with his index finger. "I used to go to the bookstore he works in. Although, I know him more from Jin hyung's stories that our casual conversations."

 

Yoongi hummed, but Jimin could swear he has heard a warm tint in his overall monotone tone.

 

"I like Namjoon," Yoongi said after a beat of silence. "He… I think I could call him a hero."

 

Jimin noticed the subtle shift in mood, something he felt he shouldn't intrude on. "Did you know that Namjoon-ssi writes poetry?" He tried to change the subject.

 

"He does?" Yoongi turned back to him, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

 

Jimin laughed softly, "Yeah, I caught him once or twice, he was really embarrassed, but he let me read some of it."

 

He hadn't noticed how with every minute that passed he was getting more and more relaxed. Talking to Yoongi felt like a dream, not only was he actually here, but the conversation maintained a casual and comfortable flow.

 

A sigh escaped Yoongi's lips just as he was starting to get up. "I guess Hoseok's won't be coming for a while. I'm going to order, want something?"

 

Jimin's eyes wandered to his hands again, "An espresso, please."

 

"Huh, wouldn't suspect you to be the bitter coffee type."

 

Jimin snorted. "I know I'm cute, but I'm not some low-tier softie," he said as he played with his fingers.

 

"Sure," said Yoongi and left it just at that.

 

[ Joon & August*D ]

15.49

August*D

you doing alright there?

Joon

I don't like this

I think I'm going to die

Where does he store all of this energy?

August*D

i mean he does want to be a dancer

Joon

But I don't

And Hoseok's ruthless

I hope he won't ask how my date went though…

August*D

even if he does you can just make something up

btw

thank you

really

i seriously needed him out

Joon

I won't even ask why I have to keep him busy but-

I can't do this forever, my body isn't accustomed to that much dancing

August*D

ok

thanks for the heads up

Joon

Sure

I need to go

Hoseok's back

 

Yoongi put his phone away and looked at the menu board. It wasn't his usual spot, these baristas wouldn't understand his... coffee habit, but now that he knew Jimin drinks espressos he needs to show his dominance even more.

 

He looked over the table they sat at. Jimin was playing with a calico cat sitting in his lap. Yoongi seriously couldn't believe that guy drinks literal poison.

 

"What can I get for you?" A young man had asked him. Under the brown apron that he was wearing, Yoongi could see silk, see-through shirt.

 

He took a deep breath. "Okay this will sound seriously weird but I need you to help me out." Noticing no objections from the barista's side, he continued, "I'd like one espresso and one double espresso." He leaned on the counter, "But please add some sweet syrup to the second one, just to make it sweet but to keep its normal look, you get me?"

 

The barista looked him dead in the eye and said, "It's a girl, isn't it?"

 

"What?"

 

"Or a guy, I don't judge," he deadpanned. "We guys need to help each other's out, I've got you, bro, don't worry."

 

"Thanks…?"

 

"There's no need to thank me, just point to your table."

 

Not knowing how to act, he pointed in Jimin's direction.

 

The barista hummed, "Not bad man, don't fuck it up." He looked back at the register. "Your name?"

 

"Uh, Yoongi."

 

The rest of the conversation was a formality, but after hearing Yoongi's name the barista kept weirdly looking at him. Yoongi deemed it the weirdest shopping encounter he's ever had.

 

At least until he got called by a tall man with a greyish black hair to get his order. He could barely see his eyes, the slightly wavy bangs were definitely too long.

 

When Yoongi came up to the counter, the man has stared at him far too long to be considered normal. "I know you," he had finally said. "You're Jungkook's friend."

 

How did he end up like this? "So?"

 

"A friend of Jungkook is a friend of mine as well," he said and gave him a business card that read, 'Best Brownies in Seoul' with a number in dark green below it.

 

Yoongi raised his eyebrow, "You're dealing or something?" He joked.

 

The man kept his face straight. "I think your coffees are getting cold."

 

Yoongi decided to take his order and retreat to the table, hoping to remember to ask Jungkook who the fuck is he friends with.



[ MeetUp ]

17.43

Mochi: Hoseok where the fuck are you

 

No: im with jimin on this one

 

Mochi: Ugh

Mochi: We've drunk so much coffee I swear we don't even need your energy anymore

 

No: jimin

No: lets go

 

Mochi: Let's go where

 

No: idk somewhere

No: if i have to sit for another 5 minutes im gonna flip

 

Mochi: Yeah you're bouncing in your seat like crazy

Mochi: You're right, let's fucking roll

Mochi: Wanna go clubbing?

 

No: you know what 

No: fuck it

No: lets invite those baristas too

 

Mochi: lol okay

No is offline

Mochi: OMG HE ACTUALLY DID IT

Mochi: What a legend

Mochi: The taller one went back to the kitchen

Mochi: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Mochi: THE OTHER ONE THREW HIS APRON AND JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER

Mochi: Someone in the line yelled at him to get back to work or he will call the owner, but the guy has said 'Im the owner' and dramatically exited the café

Mochi: I love this guy already

Mochi: Alright they are calling for me

Mochi is offline

 

18.00

Hope is online

Hope: SORRY

Hope: IT TOOK LONGER THAN I'VE THOUGHT IT WOULD

Hope: Namjoon had a date emergency, I was teaching him how to dance:(((

Hope: Oh God 

Hope: Yoongi

Hope: You've broken one of the most important rules

Hope: Never go drink with Jimin

Hope: I forgot to tell you omg

 

19.30

No is online

No: ive sent you our location

No: come here

No: i lost jimin 

 

Hope: Have you been drinking

 

No: a little bit

No: im still hyper from the coffee

No: jimins been drinking a lot but he seemed fine to me

No: but he went somewhere with the barista and now i cant find him

 

Hope: Why would you invite a barista with you wtf

 

No: i dont knooow im not thinking straight

 

Hope: Ugh

Hope: Look for them

Hope: I'm on my way

Hope is offline

 

[ Park Jimin & Min Yoongi ]

19.55

Park Jimin

Hyuuungie

Where are you

Min Yoongi

i was gonna ask the same question

Park Jimin

Bam and I are in supermarket

Said he wanted to show us a cool trick!!

Min Yoongi

that sounds suspicious

Park Jimin

He said his friend Yugyeom taught it to him, used to work at Mcdonald's

The same I work at 

Min Yoongi

mcdonalds

of course

Park Jimin

Yea but they fired him cause he was starting fires all the time

Actually

I think I remember him

Min Yoongi

why would he start the fires

Park Jimin

We had cockroaches problem

Hoseok said to get rid of them asap

And so yea

Yugyeom decided that fire's fastest

Ugh cockroaches

Min Yoongi

looks like theres always something going on here

first cockroaches

now ice cream machine

Park Jimin

Ikr

I'm still working here bc pay is fine

And I love dramaa

Like Jinnie

But food

Is disgusting

Bleh

Min Yoongi

what do you mean

Park Jimin

We don't clean things we don't need to

It's not even Hoseok's fault

But like

If you cant see filth then there isn't one

Min Yoongi

damn

it really is disgusting

Park Jimin

I knoooand the ice cream???

Its the worst

The cockroaches

Rember hyunf??

Min Yoongi

i do

Park Jimin

They were IN the ice cream machine

AND they didn't even clean it afterwards!!

Min Yoongi

what the fuck

Park Jimin

Hobi was arguing with director to get new one

But he said he would get a cleaing team

Didnt shiw uo

So we needded to do simetin

Min Yoongi

okay jimin i need you to focus

if namjoon would see your grammar he would have had a stroke

Park Jimin

Sorry Hyubg

I'll try

Will click on autocorrect

We're drinking with Bam again

I don't think it's his real name

Min Yoongi

me neither

but back to the topic

Park Jimin

FUCK

BAMBAM SET THE ALCOHOL AISLE ON FIRE

Min Yoongi

wait

you were drinking in the shop?

Park Jimin

WE PAID FOR IT DW

SHIT I SEE SECURITY GUARDS COMING FOR US

Min Yoongi

just calm down

and idk

run away?

uh

i think i see the supermarket

and the total chaos inside it

aish

im coming in

 

[ Prince & Grumpy Cat ]

20.21

Prince

Care to explain why I need to go to a police station?

Grumpy Cat

apparently jimin needs a supervisor?

they wouldn't tell me why

Prince

Yes I know this

I've meant why you sluts are there in the first place

Grumpy Cat

its a long story…

but generally speaking bambam and jimin set a supermarket on fire

Prince

I can't even-

I'm speechless

I should've never agreed to you meeting my babies

Grumpy Cat

havent you called them sluts at some point in our conversation

Prince

Completely unrelated

Grumpy Cat

whatever

im sorry

it wasnt my fault

i wasnt there

i was still looking for them when it happened

Prince

Save your apologies for later

I'm driving Taehyung home

He's the last one remaining untainted by you and I'm not gonna ruin it.

Grumpy Cat

harsh…

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

21.19

ChimChim

Omg Tae I had such a blast

TaeTae

JIMIN

YOU'RE ALIVE

ChimChim

YES

JIN IS COMING FOR ME

TaeTae

Oooh

So that's why he wasn't talking to me anymore

He seemed furious

ChimChim

Shit

Rip Yoongi

TaeTae

Right

WHAT HAPPENED??

Your messages made it look like you were gonna die:((((

I was so so worried

ChimChim

Oh boo:(( 

I'm okay

Yoongi turned out to be so awesome!

But,,,

TaeTae

But?

ChimChim

He's a bit too interested in McDonald's affairs.

I need to keep an eye on him

TaeTae

You would do that either way

ChimChim

;)))

What can I say

TaeTae

Aish

Where are you now?

ChimChim

Police station

Yoongi's waiting with me

TaeTae

Oh

That can only mean one thing

You were drinking weren't you (._.)

Chimchim

Hehe

It was so worth it tho

He's so sweet aaa

TaeTae

...this is Yoongi?

ChimChim

Yes?

Don't tell me you know him…

No wait that would be impossible he wanted to kill you after all

TaeTae

Oh

Haha

Yeah

Well

Don't ever introduce me to him

Chimchim

No need to worry, Jin hyung wouldn't let us anyway

But why? You were so eager to know who my crush is🤔🤔🤔

TaeTae

Remember when I sneezed at that scary guy

ChimChim

Nvm don't ever meet him

TaeTae

But I'm happy for you!!

Finally!

Now you don't need to risk your job!!

ChimChim

Actually…

TaeTae

What now

ChimChim

Jin hyung is signing my papers now

And gave me a time-out

TaeTae

On meeting Yoongi?

Jeez he really is pissed

ChimChim

To be more precise, Yoongi and BamBam

But I'm not friends with him so it won't be a problem

TaeTae

So the plan is still ongoing?

ChimChim

Precisely;))

Okay Jin came back

Still angry

I'm gonna go, don't want to anger him even more

And my head's starting to hurt;;

TaeTae

It's okay Chim

Rest💜

ChimChim

You're gonna tell me tomorrow about your day!

Goodnight 💜

TaeTae

Of course

Be safe💜

Chapter Text

[BamBam & Justin Seagull]

15.42

Justin Seagull

Can I talk to you about something

BamBam

Ofc

Is it about the guy who made you gay

Justin Seagull

He didn't make me gay-

And yes it's about him

How did you know

BamBam

You only text me when he's the topic 💔

Justin Seagull

That's not true:(

BamBam

Wwait

Clients

Justin Seagull

God you're lucky you're the owner

Well

While you're busy actually working

I'll tell you a story

I hoped I would never see him again

Because I'm still embarrassed

So I'm diligently working as always

(And as you should do)

Sunday afternoon, the machine's still broken

Yoongi isn't there though, he's out somewhere

And who I saw happily strutting in my direction?

T h e  M a n

He was smiling so much his mouth made a fucking rectangular shape

Why he was so happy escapes me really

So he comes up

"Hi!"

And I say Welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today

Duh

"The machine's still broken I presume?"

"Uh yes?"

He's making a smug face now, I'm pretty much scared

"Understandable, have a nice day"

It wasn't even funny!

And he starts to go back

AND I

AS A FUCKING IDIOT I AM

SHOUT 

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA ORDER??????"

And he turns back, the smug face still there

"I used the box already;)))"

So he knows how to use it.

But that's not the worst

He saw my bandaged forearm

His face changed so rapidly from smug to terrified

He asked what happened and I said that my cat bit me

It was somewhat true lmao

He looked really sad

Wished me a quick recovery and went away 

Rjxjejzjsks I hate my job

BamBam

Yooooo

Im back 

What's so bad about that tho

He's cute

Justin Seagull

Ugh

But it was embarrassing…

BamBam

Oh so you want to impress him huh

I see 😏

Justin Seagull

No!

Ughhh why are you like this

BamBam

I ask myself the same question

Btw

You won't believe who's here

Justin Seagull

The Man?

BamBam

Lol you wish

Okay I'll tell you later

Now

Give me a sec

Justin Seagull

Aight

 

[Jelly & MasterKook]

16.20

Jelly

The hell did you tell BamBam

MasterKook

Hello to you too

Jelly

Yes hi

Sorry

MasterKook

No problem

What's up?

Jelly

Bambam told me to intimidate Yoongi

And to give him The Brownies

MasterKook

What

WAIT

DID YOU GIVE HIM THE BROWNIES?

Jelly

Of course not, who do you have me for?

I gave him my business card tho

Told him things…

MasterKook

I was telling Bambam about H i m

I didn't know Yoongi was in his café?

Jelly

Ugh I don't have time for this

Yoongi's on a date I guess

MasterKook

WHAT

Jelly

Give me his number

MasterKook

WAIT WAIT WAIT

WHO IS IT???

Jelly

Jungkook

I don't care

Ask Bambam

He's overly interested in them

MasterKook

Okay

Will do

Jelly

As I was saying

Yoongi's number

MasterKook

Right right

Why do you need it?

Jelly

If he calls The Brownie number then I won't answer

Or even better, I'll block him right away

Our business is safe as long as I'm here:)

MasterKook

Omg

Yugyeom

I lobe u

Jelly

Love you too Kook:))

 

[BamBam & Justin Seagull]

16.35

Justin Seagull

I'm calling in my favour

BamBam

Oh?

Are you sure man?

Justin Seagull

Yes

I need to know everything

About Yoongi's date

BamBam

I mean

I was going to stalk them anyway

But if that's your wish,,,

Justin Seagull

WHAT

NO NVM 

BamBam

Too late bro

Lov u

I think they're waiting for someone tho

So it's not really a date?

But I wished him luck earlier and he said nothing soooo

Justin Seagull

I need facts 

Not speculations

BamBam

Yes sir

 

17.48

BamBam

Yoongi's all over the place but I think he's coming to me???

Justin Seagull

What are you waiting for then

BamBam

Right

 

19.37

BamBam

Omg Jimin is so fun

I lov him

Tell Yoongi he has my blessing

You knkw what Ill tell him myself

Justin Seagull

Who's Jimin

BamBam

Park Jimin

He's the date

Hes so cute…. and I made him drunk

No regrets

Justin Seagull

So you went drinking

Nice

So it really is a date?

BamBam

Jimin had wanted to but they were supposed to meet up with Hoseok???

Justin Seagull

Ah

BamBam

Who's Hoseok

Justin Seagull

Doesn't matter

And here I was

 Thinking Yoongi has finally found love:(

BamBam

I mean

Jimin's pretty much interested

Since day 1 as it turns out

Justin Seagull

?

BamBam

He saw him at work and fell for him instantly

Isn't that sweet

I love me some romance

Justin Seagull

Aww

We need to make it happen

Do you understand me

Jimin has to like you

Do something cool

Actually, I think I know what will work

BamBam

Ok

But

Bro…

Does it mean…?

Justin Seagull

Yes

'97 liners

BamBam

Assemble.

 

20.29

BamBam

Also

He works with you

Justin Seagull

What???

 

[Manager-nim & Jin]

20.30

Jin

Where were you?

Manager-nim

What do you mean?

Jin

You were supposed to be with Jimin and Yoongi

And be careful of your words

I have Taehyung cheerfully sitting on my backseat

I don't want him to see me angrier than I already am

Manager-nim

Wait wait

If you're texting

Then who's driving

Jin

You're underestimating my angry skills

Manager-nim

I'm not

Seriously, don't text while driving what the fuck

I was with Namjoon

He had a date and wanted to learn how to dance

So he asked me for help

Jin

Ha

As if Namjoon would ask anybody to teach him something

Especially dancing

And he had a date??? He's my best friend why hasn't he told me anything!

I can't believe that only Taehyung and Jungkook haven't betrayed me yet.

 

[Muscle Baby & Mom]

20.46

Muscle Baby

Hyung I'm so sorry

It's my fault…

I told BamBam to show off Yugyeom's fire trick

I swear I didn't know it would end up like this:(((

Jin

You did WHAT?

I don't even remember half of your friends' names

But apparently you all are involved in this too?

Goddammit I'm so done with you

Muscle Baby

I'm sorry:((((

Jin

Save your apologies for later

Muscle Baby

Why?

 

Kim Seokjin created a new group chat with Park Jimin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook and Kim Namjoon

21.47

Kim Seokjin set Jeon Jungkook's nickname to Idiot 

Kim Seokjin set Min Yoongi's nickname to Soft Cutie Pie

Kim Seokjin set Jung Hoseok's nickname to Naïve Moron

Kim Seokjin set Park Jimin's nickname to Drunkass Bitch

Kim Seokjin set Kim Namjoon's nickname to Liar

 

Drunkass Bitch: Why the fuck is Yoongi's nickname different

 

Kim Seokjin: Because sweet names will hurt him more

 

Naïve Moron: You're a monster

 

Kim Seokjin: You flatter me:)

 

Liar: Um, what is this?

 

Kim Seokjin: You are going to explain everything that has happened today

 

Soft Cutie Pie: why is kook here

Soft Cutie Pie: he hadnt done anything?

 

Kim Seokjin: Oh you sweet summer child:)

Kim Seokjin: Jungkook is the reason I had to go to the police station

Kim Seokjin: You won't save him this time

 

Soft Cutie Pie: what

Soft Cutie Pie: jungkook is that true?

 

Idiot: Haha you see-

 

Drunkass Bitch: Who's Jungkook

 

Kim Seokjin: This is not a meet & greet

 

Drunkass Bitch: ...Alright

 

Liar: Let's all settle down

Liar: Yoongi?

 

Soft Cutie Pie: aish

Soft Cutie Pie: okay ill tell everything

 

Kim Seokjin: ? I'm listening

 

Soft Cutie Pie: hoseok jimin and i were supposed to meet up

Soft Cutie Pie: but i told namjoon to lie to hoseok that he had a date

Soft Cutie Pie: so he wouldn't have come to our meeting

 

Naïve Moron: Oh I see how it is

Naïve Moron: OOOOH SO THAT'S WHY THE NAIVE MORON

Naïve Moron: Well played

 

Kim Seokjin: You're so slow my God

 

Drunkass Bitch: Why would you do this though?

 

Liar: Honestly, I want to know too

 

Kim Seokjin: Yeah Yoongi, tell us:)

Kim Seokjin: And you better have a damn good reason

Kim Seokjin: If Hoseok was there this wouldn't have happened

Kim Seokjin: So tell us the truth

 

Naïve Moron: ...

 

Soft Cutie Pie: uh

Soft Cutie Pie: i wanted to go out with jimin but i was too scared to actually ask him out?

 

Drunkass Bitch: WHAT

 

[Hobi & Best Hyung Ever]

21.58

Hobi

WHAT

Best Hyung Ever

idek

Hobi

WHY WOULD YOU LIE

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE

Best Hyung Ever

i know

i had very little time for an answer

Hobi

You could've said the truth???

How Jin is going to believe this bullshit

You've never seen Jimin before

Best Hyung Ever

actually 

i did

i didn't know it was him tho

Hobi

Exactly what I'm saying????

Best Hyung Ever

trust me

seokjin will flip

he wont even notice

 

[Kim Seokjin, Drunkass Bitch and 4 more]

22.00

Liar: Well, that was unexpected

 

Kim Seokjin: WHAT?

Kim Seokjin: After all of this? You think I'll let you near Jimin again?

 

Soft Cutie Pie: youre not his father nor mother?

 

Drunkass Bitch: Is this for real

Drunkass Bitch: Can I add Taehyung? He needs to see this

 

Kim Seokjin: Don't you dare

Kim Seokjin: I can understand you Yoongi. Jimin looks like an angel

 

Naïve Moron: I can't believe this

 

Soft Cutie Pie: :)

 

Kim Seokjin: We'll get back to that

Kim Seokjin: Jungkook.

 

Idiot: Yes hyung?

 

Kim Seokjin: Explain to everyone how dumb you are

 

Idiot: Yes hyung…

 

[Park Jimin & Min Yoongi]

22.11

Min Yoongi

im sorry jimin

i had to tell him something so he would leave me alone

Park Jimin

I'm sorry what

Min Yoongi

uh

Park Jimin

Jk jk

I get it

Chill

It's A-OK

Min Yoongi

okay

im glad we are one the same page

Park Jimin

Why are you apologizing though

You're hetero?

Min Yoongi

no

i thought you are

im bi

Park Jimin

Oh

I'm gay

Min Yoongi

oh cool

Park Jimin

Cool

 

[Kim Seokjin, Drunkass Bitch and 4 more]

22.26

Liar: Why is everyone working at McDonald's psychotic in some way or another

 

Idiot: Yugyeom isn't psychotic

 

Drunkass Bitch: He lighted cockroaches on fire

 

Idiot: So what, we had to get rid of them quickly

 

Kim Seokjin: I'm losing my faith in all of you

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

9.46

McKookie: What happened to angryjin chat?

 

Yoongi: seokjin kicked everyone out and then deleted it

 

Seokjinnie: Don't worry, I have lots of screenshots:)

Seokjinnie: And I'm still angry.

 

McKookie: Nice

McKookie: Yoongi hyung

 

Yoongi: whats up

 

McKookie: Are you home?

 

Yoongi: yes

Yoongi: im going out in a sec tho

Yoongi: what do you need?

 

McKookie: I left my camera at home…

 

Yoongi: oh no

Yoongi: how am i supposed to find it

 

McKookie: It's somewhere on my bed!

McKookie: Pleaseeee I need it

 

Yoongi:

Yoongi: i hate your room

Yoongi: when will you finally clean it

I'm J-hope is online

McKookie: Someday…

 

Yoongi: i feel like being watched jesus

 

I'm J-hope: What's wrong with Jungkook's room

I'm J-hope: Except for the mess

 

McKookie: Hyung

McKookie: Don't do this

 

Yoongi: I dont remember how the walls looked like there

Yoongi: they are covered with posters of iron man

Yoongi: and gdragon 

 

I'm J-hope: Omg

 

McKookie: Thanks for telling that to my boss

 

I'm J-hope: Come on Jungkook

I'm J-hope: We're friends here :D

 

McKookie: Mhm

McKookie: Tell it to my face

 

I'm J-hope: Jungkook

I'm J-hope: You're talking with your supervisor

 

McKookie: I'm sorry Hoseok-ssi

 

I'm J-hope: Omg I'm joking

 

Seokjinnie: Gottem

Seokjinnie: Also aww you still have your posters

Seokjinnie: Do you wear your Ironman socks too?

 

McKookie: No

 

Yoongi: Yes

 

McKookie: HYUNG

McKookie: I DON'T WEAR THEM ANYMORE

 

I'm J-hope: Ahahaha what a cutie

 

Yoongi: if you dont then throw them away wtf

 

McKookie: But I have so many good memories attached to them…

 

Yoongi: like that kidnapping

 

I'm J-hope: WhAT?

 

Yoongi: when i was on my first year my older friends wanted to give me a uni baptism 

Yoongi: they broke into our apartment in the middle of the night with their faces covered and threw jungkook and i to a van

Yoongi: jungkook was scared shitless but those idiots blew their cover when they saw his ironman socks

Yoongi: they started laughing like crazy and the whole plan went to shit

 

I'm J-hope: Ahahaha

I'm J-hope: Wait Jungkook wears socks to sleep?

I'm J-hope: Omg what's wrong with you

 

McKookie: My feet get cold easily>:(

 

I'm J-hope: Do you wear socks while having sex too lol

 

McKookie: He did it-

 

Yoongi: hoseok you dumbass

 

I'm J-hope: What?

 

Seokjinnie: JUNG HOSEOK.

Seokjinnie: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT SUCH IMPURE ACTIVITIES HERE

 

I'm J-hope: What? 

I'm J-hope: But you're like the biggest hoe of them all

I'm J-hope: You're the one who created the Hoes gc in the first place????

 

Yoongi: oh lord

Yoongi: have him in your care

 

Seokjinnie: You will not talk to me with that foul mouth!

Seokjinne: AND expose me like this!

Seokjinnie: I'm banishing you from my kingdom!

 

I'm J-hope: What do you mean

Seokjinnie kicked out I'm J-hope from the group chat

Yoongi: rip

 

McKookie: He shall be remembered

 

Seokjinnie: Jungkook listen to your lecture for once and get off that phone

 

McKookie: Yes Your Highness

McKookie is offline

 

[ Hoes ]

9.59

Hoesok: Jin add me back>:(((

 

Gray: It's Your Highness for you.

 

Hoesok: @Succubi do you want to know why Taemin didn't answer your valentine's day card?

 

Gray: Hahaha there's no need to be so drastic is there?

 

Succubi: Huh? Why would you bring it up? Jinnie gave it to him and Taemin ignored it, I'm already over it

 

Gray: You see? Why would you make him remember

 

Hoesok: :))) add me back

 

Gray: Never.

 

Hoesok: Jin forgot about it and when you asked about it in the evening he tried to deliver it but he slipped and the card flew away

 

Succubi: WHAT

Succubi: HOW COULD YOU?!

 

Gray: You said you were over it!

 

Succubi: I obviously lied?????

 

Gray: Wait so Taemin is this mysterious crush of yours?

 

Succubi: No and don't change the subject! I thought he wasn't interested!! Have you ever seen him dance??? That's the hottest thing I've ever witnessed and you blew my chances with him!!

 

Gray: Well your intentions were clearly sexual

Gray: You wouldn't cry over it would you

 

Hoesok: He did

 

Gray: And how the hell would you know

 

Succubi: I confided in him bc Tae wouldn't get it

 

Gray: I'm sorry Jiminie

Gray: How can I ever repay you?

 

Succubi: Add Hobi to your group chat

 

Gray: You don't know what you're talking about

Gray: What did he promise you?

 

Succubi: Not your business.

 

Gray: Don't tell me… He knows your crush?

 

Succubi: Not

Succubi: Your

Succubi: Business.

 

Gray: Omg Hoseok knows your crush

Gray: @Hoesok what did you promise him

Gray: QUICKLY

 

Hoesok: Uh

Hoesok: As much as I'd love to expose him

Hoesok: I would risk my other friend's life 

Hoesok: So not this time

 

Succubi: I can't believe it,,,, Hobi used his brain for once,,,,

 

Hoesok: Yah

Hoesok: Your life's in my hands now

Hoesok: Remember that

 

Succubi: Will do… will do

 

[ King and the peasants ]

10.19

Seokjinnie added Jung Hoseok to the group chat

Yoongi: see

 

Bookjoon: That went fast

 

Yoongi: he obviously got blackmailed

 

Seokjinnie: One day I'll get my revenge

 

Jung Hoseok: So now that I'm back:)

Jung Hoseok: Yoongi hyung did you find the camera

 

Yoongi: yes

Yoongi: it was in the bed

 

Bookjoon: You mean on the bed?

 

Yoongi: no

Yoongi: i n  the bed

Yoongi: somehow it got stuck under the mattress

Yoongi: this kid sometimes-

 

Bookjoon: I'm glad I live alone

 

Seokjinnie: You do?

 

Bookjoon: Yeah, it might be uncomfortable at times but I like my space:)

 

Seokjinnie: Right

 

Bookjoon: You live alone too, don't you?

 

Seokjinnie: Yes and I totally think it's awesome

 

Bookjoon: Okay lol

 

Yoongi: wouldnt want to stop your lovely convo but

Yoongi: hoseok are you working rn?

 

Jung Hoseok: No why?

 

Yoongi: nothing

 

Jung Hoseok: Jimin should be there tho

Jung Hoseok: If you need anything

 

Yoongi: mhm ok

 

[ Best Hyung Ever & Hobi ]

10.22

Hobi

How was your meeting btw

Did you like it?

Best Hyung Ever

why are you asking

Hobi

Jiminie's my friend

I want my friends to get along:(

Best Hyung Ever

hes nice

a little too eager at times

Hobi

Ugh what did he tell you

I swear he isn't normally this horny

Best Hyung Ever

what

Hobi

What

Best Hyung Ever

i will remember that

Hobi

Okay

Haha

I'm so dead

Anyway

Best Hyung Ever

is this about yesterdays angryjin chat

Hobi

Uuuh

He has a crush so maybe idk

Best Hyung Ever

oh

i didn't know

god i must have made him so uncomfortable

so stupid

Hobi

He did seem to be kinda affected by it…

Best Hyung Ever

god

thank god hes working now

ill apologize to him again in person 

Hobi

But aren't you working too?

Best Hyung Ever

i am

Hobi

Does it mean...

Best Hyung Ever

it does

Hobi

IEBZJSNZJZJXNXSK

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

10.26

TaeTae

Do you know any good bookstores 

Important requirement: I'm kinda broke

ChimChim

Hmmm

I know one

Yoongi's friend works there;)))

I can give you the address

TaeTae

Aaaa thank you Jiminie!!

ChimChim

But,

TaeTae

Oh no:(

ChimChim

I need you to befriend Namjoon

Yoongi's friend I mean

TaeTae

I hope you're not using my talent for your evil schemes

ChimChim

I do but they're not evil

Not this time at least

TaeTae

Fair enough

ChimChim

What do you wanna buy?

TaeTae

I need a book about cat's discipline 😺

ChimChim

You don't even have a cat

TaeTae

It's not for me

ChimChim

Then who

 

Tae?

Come on!!

Ughhh

[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

10.47

Min Yoongi

hi

im coming to fix the damn machine

but i need to talk to you

so take a break or something

Park Jimin

That's not how breaks work

Min Yoongi

didnt stop you from using your phone for the last hour

Park Jimin

Yeah but I can get away with it😑

Hobi's not here and the other manager is a huge bitch

Min Yoongi

for making you work? 

Park Jimin

Maybe

Min Yoongi

ill be here in a moment

so idk think of something

Park Jimin

Okay

 

[ Kai & Jiminie ]

10.52

Jiminie

Jongin hyung

It's time

10.59

Kai

Are you 100% sure?

Jiminie

Yes

Kai

I'll be there in 15 minutes

I hope you know what you're doing

Jiminie

I do

I'll be waiting

 

[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

11.19

Park Jimin

Hyung are you finished

Min Yoongi

almost

why is your manager arguing with some rando from subway

Park Jimin

It's Jongin

He's a manager in Subway

I told him to come here and declare a war

They wanted to do it anyway soo

Anyway I'm waiting in the break room

Min Yoongi

this is so weird

maybe we should intervene

they look ready to fight

Park Jimin

Don't bother

Jongin would win anyway

Min Yoongi

ok 

 

im coming now

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

12.43

ChimChim

Tae I beg you

Come pick me up

Not now

When I'm finished

TaeTae

Sure I wanted to go there anyway

Did something happen?:(

ChimChim

Yes

I fucked up real hard

I want to do something cool with you to forget

TaeTae

Oh no:((((

Jiminie what happened:((

ChimChim

Yoongi came by today

Surprisingly today the machine broke on its own

TaeTae

Not surprised at all

ChimChim

He wanted to talk with me abt something

So I made Subway declare war on us

TaeTae

What people won't do for love…

ChimChim

Everything was cool to this point

But then

Yoongi apologized once again for lying about wanting to go out with me

Big oof btw

And said

"i know you have a crush so im sorry if seokjin will bother you about me now"

TaeTae

Why are you writing like that

ChimChim

That's how he writes but if you would hear him he sounds exactly the same

It was really embarrassing

He thinks I have a crush on someone else

And offered me help:)

I didn't want to be rude so I accepted it…

TaeTae

Oh gosh

ChimChim

Yeaaaah I hope he will forget about it

TaeTae

Even if he won't

I'm sure you will use this situation to your advantage!!

You're an evil mastermind after all!

ChimChim

Yeah

You're right!

Thank you TaeTae💜

TaeTae

No problem💜

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

18.53

McKookie: Did I tell you about the Cat Bite situation?

 

Bookjoon: You did, yes

 

Yoongi: i would never forget that

 

Seokjinnie: I'm still salty I wasn't there

 

Jung Hoseok: Me too tbh

 

McKookie: Oh so everyone is here

McKookie: How lovely

 

Bookjoon: Did you meet him again?

 

McKookie: I did-

 

Jung Hoseok: Aww this is a kdrama I can non-stop watch

 

McKookie:

 

Yoongi: let him speak

 

McKookie: As I was saying

McKookie: He came here and immediately walked up to me

McKookie: I told him my line (without doing anything stupid)

McKookie: But he told me he's here to pick up a friend

McKookie: He looked at my forearm and gave me a gift bag

McKookie: Ofc I looked right inside

 

Seokjinnie: No manners... smh

 

McKookie: And it was… a book about cat's discipline…

 

Bookjoon: Huh

 

Jung Hoseok: Aaaaawwww he didn't want you to get hurt again idbxjsz

 

McKookie: I felt awful for lying lmao but I thanked him anyway

McKookie: He did that iconic smile of his and went for his friend I guess

 

Seokjinnie: You didn't tell us anything about the smile

 

McKookie: I mean it's just a smile but very cute one

 

Jung Hoseok: My heart :(((((

 

Yoongi: did you ask him out

 

McKookie: HYUNG

 

Seokjinnie: Yeah, did you?

 

McKookie: COME ON

 

Bookjoon: So he didn’t

Bookjoon:  But if you had a second chance, would you?

 

McKookie: Why are you asking me this

McKookie: I don’t know okay

McKookie: I guess I wouldn’t? I’m not interested in guys you know that…

 

Seokjinnie: But you’re interested in him

 

McKookie: Not like that.

 

Jung Hoseok: Next time he’s here come and get me

Jung Hoseok: I need to see him!!

 

McKookie: I rather not, Hoseok-ssi

 

Jung Hoseok: :(

 

Seokjinnie: Jungkook for fuck’s sake he’s younger than me why are you so formal with him

 

Yoongi: language:)

 

Seokjinnie: Shut up dwarf I make the rules in this kingdom

 

Jung Hoseok: Well I get him, I’m his supervisor and all but still :(((

 

Yoongi: and you made hobi sad

Yoongi: are you proud of yourself?

 

McKookie:...

 

[ Rap Monster & Brat ]

18.58

Rap Monster

Hey

I'm sorry for them, I kinda feel responsible for this mess

Brat

Don't be

Rap Monster

Aish

Look, I asked because I *think* he bought the book he gave you at the bookstore I work in

He had honey/brown hair, it really depended on the lighting honestly; tan skin, really low voice

Brat

I don't know… it kinda matches but I'm not sure:(

Did you snag a photo?? Please tell me you did

Rap Monster

First of all, I didn't even know it could've been your guy from McDonald's

Second of all, taking pictures of strangers is a huge violation of privacy

Brat

Yeah sure

Rap Monster

I have something better

Brat

And what could that be huh

Rap Monster


Brat

WHAT

Rap Monster

Is it him?

Brat

Yes!! 

But how??

Rap Monster

To be honest, I'm not sure myself

He came into the shop and asked me about the book,

I showed him some copies to choose from

And after that, we just started talking

He was really nice and polite

Brat

You just-

You just talked

You didn't know each other but you talked

Rap Monster

Yes Jungkookie, that's what people do

Normally I would be surprised

But if you'd actually tried to talk to him you would understand

It was really easy to maintain a conversation with him

Brat

But what about the selca??

Rap Monster

Ah yes

That

He may have been polite but after a while he started to be a little excited? Because, as he had put it, I "turned out to be really smart but not meanie smart"

Whatever that means

Brat

Now that does sound more like him

Rap Monster

So he decided to immortalize the moment

With my phone

I know it doesn't make sense, I think it's an excuse so he could come here again

Brat

Wow

Suddenly I'm not mad anymore

Rap Monster

Also now I can understand what you've meant

He really is beautiful

And I'm saying it as a straight person myself

Brat

See!

He's just so otherworldly

And he isn't wearing anything that stylish

Or he doesn't do anything with his hair

Rap Monster

I can agree with the first statement

But you know jack shit about hair 

Every time you dye yours you pick up random colour and still call it brown

Brat

Well because it is brown???

Rap Monster

Exactly what I'm saying

But yes, he does have a natural-like look

Brat

Whatever

What's his name?

Rap Monster

We didn't get that far

Brat

You have a selca together but don't know each other's names-

Rap Monster

To be more precise, I don't know his

Mine was on my badge

Brat

Hyuuuung:(

That's like the first thing you wanna know about someone

Rap Monster

Alright, alright

Next time I'll ask

Brat

Thank you:(

Also,

Can this stay between us?

I don't want the others to tease me…

Rap Monster

No problem:)

My mouth is sealed

Brat

Thank you hyung:)

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

18.59

Yoongles

jungkookie

im sorry

i didnt mean to make you feel bad

i guess i should've thought it through

 

19.27

Jungleok

It's fine hyung

You didn't even say anything that mean

Yoongles

maybe 

or maybe youre playing it down

so i wouldnt feel bad about myself

Jungleok

It's seriously fine

Hyung

You know I wouldn't do that

Not to you

Yoongles

okay

Jungleok

How are you feeling?

Yoongles

this conversation is supposed to be about you not me

Jungleok

How sad

It changed 

Come on

Yoongles

you wont leave me alone until i tell you will you

Jungleok

Mhm

Yoongles

aish

ive been better

tbh it wouldve been worse if it wasnt for hoseok

weve met just as i was starting to feel worse

so dont worry

hyung is fine

Jungleok

Are you sure?

Yoongles

yes

im sure

Jungleok

Okay

But tell me if anything changes

Or Namjoon hyung

Or Jin hyung

Whoever you want to

Yoongles

im not a kid

chill

i know

thank you jungkookie

Jungleok

We all love you hyung

Remember that

Yoongles

aish seriously

you always make it about me

take out for dinner?

Jungleok

Can i choose?

Yoongles

yes

Jungleok

💖

 

[ King and the peasants ]

20.38

Yoongi is online

Yoongi: so i came home with thai take out

Yoongi: just to see jeon jungkook sitting on the floor while reading that damn book about cats

Yoongi: should we get a cat?

 

Jung Hoseok: Aww 

Jung Hoseok: You could

 

Yoongi: i mean

Yoongi: jungkookie doesn't like cats

 

Jung Hoseok: "Jungkookie"

Jung Hoseok: 💖💖💖

 

Yoongi: ew

 

Jung Hoseok: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID IT

 

Yoongi: and i regret it deeply

Seokjinnie is online

Seokjinnie: UwU

 

Yoongi: you couldve just kill me instead

 

Seokjinnie: Aww Yoongi just embrace it

Seokjinnie: You're a softie

 

Jung Hoseok: Huh someone's in a good mood

 

Yoongi: ikr he had a perfect chance to insult me

Yoongi: so

Yoongi: did you get the d

 

Seokjinnie: Not this time

Seokjinnie: I had an intense study session tonight

Seokjinnie: And Namjoon came over to give us snacks:))

 

Jung Hoseok: Aww 

 

Yoongi: namjoon cant cook tho

 

Seokjinnie: As i said

Seokjinnie: Snacks

Seokjinnie: He bought them 

Seokjinnie: Still a nice gesture that you won't ruin no matter what you do.

 

Yoongi: sorry

Yoongi: it was nice indeed

Yoongi: god jungkook looks so immersed in this book im not sure if i want to make him eat

 

Seokjinnie: If only he was so interested in the books he actually has to read…

 

Jung Hoseok: @Bookjoon come collect your man, he's starting to be a bitch again

 

Seokjinnie: Do you really wanna fight?

Seokjinnie: I can fight

Seokjinnie: Unlike you, getting punched by a boy 3 years younger than you and all

 

Yoongi: what

 

Jung Hoseok: Yoongi hyung don't worry your pretty little head about it

 

Yoongi: some brat punched you? 

Yoongi: who was it

Yoongi: i can show them how to treat someone with respect:)))

 

Jung Hoseok: No one

Jung Hoseok: It was no one

 

Yoongi: Hoseok

 

Jung Hoseok: Oh shit

 

Yoongi: You can't let people treat you like shit

Yoongi: Especially some young brat without manners

 

Jung Hoseok: Hyung it's okay

Jung Hoseok: @Seokjinnie Look what you've done>:(

 

Seokjinnie: Oops haha

 

Yoongi: hyung do you know who did this?

Bookjoon is online

Seokjinnie: I do

Seokjinnie: But it's not my place to tell it

 

Yoongi: you just want hobi to say it dont you

 

Seokjinnie: ;)))))

 

Bookjoon: Hyung don't be a bitch

Bookjoon: And Hoseok hyung, please don't use "your man" it sounds wrong

 

Seokjinnie: Thank you Joonie:) Hoseok will definitely start to word his sentences better:)

 

Jung Hoseok: I will, sorry

 

Yoongi: anyway

Yoongi: tell me who it is

 

Bookjoon: I want to know too

Bookjoon: When Hoseok hyung was teaching me how to dance his foundation melted off, revealing the bruise on his face

 

Yoongi: god what

 

Jung Hoseok: Foundation doesn't "melt off"

Jung Hoseok: I was really sweaty and forgot I had it on me😑

 

Seokjinnie: That's how buying the cheapest foundation ends up like

 

Jung Hoseok: It's not like I had money or knowledge to buy this stuff

 

Seokjinnie: You could've asked me🙄

 

Yoongi: so what youre telling me right now is

Yoongi: you planned to hide your incident while meeting up with jimin and me?

 

Jung Hoseok: uhm yes, but when you put it like that…..

 

Yoongi: i cant believe this

 

Bookjoon: Hoseok hyung, just agree with him now

Bookjoon: He's in the Zone™

 

Seokjinnie: Oh yeah, just say you were an idiot or smth

 

Yoongi: dont help him out

 

Bookjoon: Use your cuteness hyung

 

Seokjinnie: Do it

 

Yoongi: Hoseok, I'm your friend

Yoongi: I thought it was mutual

 

Bookjoon: The only upside of a serious, worrying Yoongi is that he can actually write grammatically correct

 

Jung Hoseok: Of course it's mutual! I'm sorry hyung:(((

 

Yoongi: 'Sorry' won't cut it

Yoongi: What if this foundation was some cheap knock-off that didn't get through OHS standards*

 

Jung Hoseok: It wasn't a knock-off

Jung Hoseok: I think:/

 

Yoongi: Wow

Yoongi: You think

 

Seokjinnie: Hoseok come on

 

Jung Hoseok: Aish…

Jung Hoseok: Hyungie:(((

Jung Hoseok: I haven't wanted to worry you:((

Jung Hoseok: You already had so much on your plate:(

Jung Hoseok: Hobi wants to put a smile on your face not a frown☺️💖

Jung Hoseok: Please understand this, I want you to be happy💜

 

Yoongi:

Yoongi: next time just tell me

Yoongi: im your hyung, i want to make you smile too

Yoongi: :(

 

Seokjinnie: He did it!

 

Bookjoon: I'm so bad at this

 

Jung Hoseok: What was the bet about...

 

Seokjinnie: If Yoongi would send a weird emoji

 

Jung Hoseok: :( isn’t an emoji per se…

Jung Hoseok: And it isn’t weird

 

Seokjinnie: Have you ever seen Yoongi use it?

 

Jung Hoseok: Fair point

Chapter Text

[ BamBam & Justin Seagull ]

12.30

BamBam

Let's review the plan

Justin Seagull

Okay

BamBam

But first

BamBam changed your nickname to Agent J

BamBam changed his nickname to Agent B

Agent B

Now we're safe

Agent J

For sure

Agent B

Please continue

Agent J

So

I was working for a full week and looked for Jimin to no avail

By some miracle, he has to either work different shifts or not work there at all

So basically

We're going to McDonald's

Agent B

Affirmative

Did you leave your headphones in the break room as we agreed?

Agent J

Yes

I also left there my homework

But that wasn't intentional

So we REALLY need to go retrieve my things

Agent B

Lol

Okay

So even if Jimin's a cashier we play the lost headphones card

Agent J

Unfortunately yes…

Agent B

Hey don't worry

It's okay

Agent J

Well I do hope so cause it's due tomorrow

Agent B

Chill

So thanks to some shit architect the break room is on the other end of McDonald's

Agent J

It's not really the other end, more like the middle

Agent B

But enough for us to go in and look around

Agent J

Wait wait wait

When did we agree to you coming with me

That's against the rules

Agent B

And when did you exactly care about those rules

Agent J

Hey! I do follow them sometimes!

Agent B

Not this time

You don't know how Jimin looks like

Agent J

Fine

If someone asks who are you just tell them you're from the night shift

They're practically ghosts

Agent B

How so?

Agent J

Nobody knows who they are, everyone tells legends about them and they do the impossible

Perfect example:

They make it possible for us to work the next day

And let me tell you, everything is a mess at the end of the evening shift

I still have nightmares when I had to stay and clean the fryer…

Agent B

McDonald's crazy man

Mad respect for yall to work here

Agent J

Thanks

I'm almost there

Agent B

See you in a sec

12.49

Agent B

Did you get your things?

Agent J

Yes

Agent B

Good

I found Jimin

People are looking at me tho

 

13.02

Agent B

Where are you

Agent J

I escaped with Jimin

Agent B

Please save me

Why did I say that I work overnight

God

Agent J

I didn't know they would react like that

You're a star now lol

Give them autographs or something

Agent B

You're laughing but they are actually asking for them

Agent J

Jimin wants to say something

Let me just-

BAMBAM WHAT THE FUCK

Agent B

Hi Jiminie!

Agent J

I don't know who's dumber

You or them

You don't even look like a night shift hero

Agent B

And who would huh

Yoongi?

Agent J

Honestly? Yeah, for example

He's handsome, but he does look a little like death itself

But tbh it suits him;)))

Ew

I got my stuff back btw

Can you please go away, I need to work

Also,,, I don't really know you Jungkook

What do you want from me

Uh, I'll tell you later

Agent B

Why are you messaging me on one phone

I have no idea who's writing when

Can't you talk irl

Agent J

Sorry

Jimin's going back to save you

Thank you for introducing me to him btw

Too bad some passerby asked who you are:(

Agent B

I must say

Being famous suits me

Maybe I should become an idol

Agent J

Pffftt

Yeah, sure

Agent B

What, you think I'd suck at it?

Agent J

You said it not me

Agent B

When I'll become a successful idol I won't invite you to any of my concerts

Agent J

;(

Agent B

😠😠😠

 

[ Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook ]

16.48

Park Jimin

What's your deal then

Jeon Jungkook

Nice to meet you too 😑

Park Jimin

What did you expect

Some random was looking for me with his crazy friend

I like BamBam but our first meeting gave me a ban on him and Yoongi >:(

Jeon Jungkook

What you live with your parents or something

Park Jimin

Kim Seokjin

At this point, I'm expecting you to know him

Jeon Jungkook

Why are you so sure

And yes I know him

Park Jimin

Lately, everyone I've been meeting had some connections with my friends

It's really weird

Anyway

What do you want

Jeon Jungkook

I heard that you like Yoongi hyung

Park Jimin

'Yoongi hyung'

Are you his little brother or something

Jeon Jungkook

I mean

Kinda?

But no, I'm not

Park Jimin

So what you want me to stay away from him cause let me tell you this ain't happening soon

Jeon Jungkook

Ffs

Can you stop being so passive-agressive

I want to help you!

Park Jimin

Oh

You do?

Jeon Jungkook

YES

Park Jimin

Sorry then lol

Let's start fresh

Hi!! I'm Park Jimin 💜

Jeon Jungkook

Woah you're like a different person now

Should I tell Yoongi you're a sociopath?

Park Jimin

Ha ha ha

Park Jimin set your nickname to Comedian

Comedian

Lol

Comedian set Park Jimin 's nickname to Sociopath

Sociopath

And I offered to start fresh,,,, the audacity,,,

Comedian

Sorry

Sociopath

It's fine

Have your fun while you still can

Comedian

How long do you know Seokjin hyung

You seem to take a lot after him

Sociopath

Huh, really?

Actually, now that you've pointed it out,,,

Idk I think 4,5 years?

I know I met him at an airport

Comedian

It was embarrassing right?

Sociopath

So embarrassing-

Not that much for me as for him lol

You wanna hear about it?

Comedian

Sure:)

Sociopath

Okay so like

I was with my friend waiting for a plane to Busan

And he ate something weird I don't really remember what

But he got a strong stomach ache

Like seriously, I've never seen him this pale

He wasn't reacting to anything I said and he broke into cold sweats

I thought he was dying

Comedian

Jesus

That must've been terrifying

Sociopath

It really was

But because I was a stupid teenager I yelled out "IS A DOCTOR HERE!?"

And unfortunately

Jin turned up

"I'm a doctor to be!" He yelled

Tbh I was fucking scared

He looked so excited

My friend was dying and this guy looked like he just won tickets to see Beyonce

Comedian

Hyung why…

Sociopath

So he crouches next to us

Asks me a couple of questions

In that moment I learned he was a freshman

That really eased my worries:))))))

Comedian

But your friend lived right

Sociopath

Yeah he's fine

He tried to talk to him but it was pretty useless

My friend looked paler each second

When suddenly

He threw up onto Jin's lap

Comedian

Oh my god

Sociopath

He immediately looked better tho lol

"Hi Jiminie, oh who is this???"

So innocent….

Jin was astonished

And I realized that a lot of people were watching us

Some were laughing

Some were as speechless as Jin

Then his Parent Instinct™ kicked in

And we became friends

Comedian

What a heartwarming story

I'll use it as a blackmail material

Sociopath

I like that

Feel free to send me screenshots

Comedian

;))

Sociopath

Alright you're cool

Sorry for being a bitch earlier

Comedian

Nah it's fine

Soo are we gonna get to know each other or something?

Sociopath

Fuck that, it'll come around

Let's get right into business

Comedian

Okay

I know Yoongi hyung for a long time so I think I'm quite qualified for this job

I have a team to help me tho

Just to be sure

Sociopath

A team??? 

What a professional

Although I have to ask

Why do you want to help me?

Comedian

I know you don't really know him and you just liked his looks

But even then, not many people notice him like that

Most are just scared or treat him like a colleague

Sociopath

:((

I did meet him

And he was really nice and considerate

Ughh my heartttt😫

Comedian

Ew

But yeah exactly my point

I just want him to have someone in his life that will be so much more than a friend

Don't get me wrong I would travel to hell and back for him

And not only me

But even I can see a difference between a friend and a lover

Sociopath

Awww

That was really sweet Jungkookie:33

Comedian

I'm serious

He isn't oblivious but he won't admit to himself than anyone could like him like that😑

He just needs a little push;))

Sociopath

Yeah I'm in

I'm so in

Comedian

Ok but if you hurt him my whole team will see to it that you suffer for the rest of your life

Sociopath

Won't ever happen, sir

Comedian

Good

So let's start from the beginning

Sociopath

Alright

The first time I saw him was 2 months ago

He came to fix the ice cream machine

And I fell in love at first sight

I still had black hair back then so he probably doesn't remember me

But I dyed it blonde just so I would stand out

Comedian

What dedication

Sociopath

Really

My heart did that weird thing it does in dramas

I was so desperate to see him again

But it's not like I could ask Hoseok for his number or something

He was scared shitless every time he saw Yoongi

The only thing I knew was that he was the one fixing the machine so yeah it was pretty much nothing lol

Comedian

Stop

Please stop

Sociopath

???

Comedian

I just connected the dots

Sociopath

Uh

What

Comedian

You said you met him 2 months ago

Do you know what else has started 2 months ago?

Sociopath

I have no idea what you're talking about

Comedian

Jimin

You're the ice cream traitor

Sociopath

Whaaaat

Comedian

Don't play dumb with me!

GOD I had so many embarrassing moments because of that

And it's your fault!

Sociopath

I won't say anything without the presence of my lawyer

Comedian

Why did you phrase it like that

You could've been vaguer

Now I have to live with the responsibility of knowing…

Sociopath

Wait

So you won't rat me out?

Comedian

Of course not

There's so much shit going on at McDonald's

If I told on you I'd have to reveal everyone's secrets

And you know what a bunch of weirdos work here

Sociopath

Yeah I know

Omg Jungkookie!!! Thank you sm💜💜💜

Well if you're helping me get mah man then I won't need to break this shitty machine just to see him:3

Comedian

So you're admitting it was you

Sociopath

Yeah whatever just don't tell Hoseok or Yoongi

Comedian

Yoongi?

Sociopath

Mhm I think he has an investigation going on

Probably Hoseok's fault

I may be cute but I'm not an idiot;)

Comedian

Ughh that complicates things

Aish whatever

We can do this

Sociopath

Yeah!!

Anything else you wanna know?

Comedian

Hmm

Yes

 

[ Rap Monster & Brat ]

17.14

Rap Monster

Kookie

Brat

Hmmm

Rap Monster

He's here again, should I talk to him?

Brat

HHeis?momg kdjxjsjz

Rap Monster

I'm glad you're happy but please write like a human being

Brat

Right sorry

Rap Monster

He's on a phone right now

Ah so I'm a stalker now

Brat

Nooo

Well

Maybe

A little bit

Rap Monster

You know

I think you should come here and talk to him

It's pretty obvious you're interested in him one way or another

Brat

No

Hyung I'm serious

It's not like that

I am interested but like

He gave me a present??? Even if he didn't need to

He's really nice and I feel obligated to repay him somehow

Rap Monster

I see

He noticed me staring

Be right back

Brat

LEARN HIS NAME

 

[ King and the peasants ]

17.41

 

Seokjinnie: As you probably noticed

Seokjinnie: Halloween is coming

Seokjinnie: Does any of you have plans?

 

Yoongi: annual horror movie night

 

McKookie: Right

McKookie: Hyung, can we uh, invite other people?

 

Yoongi: of course

Yoongi: if you're fine with it

 

McKookie: I am!!

 

Jung Hoseok: I'm going out clubbing 

 

Bookjoon: I will probably stay home and give out candies to kids

 

Seokjinnie: That's really sweet Namjoonie

 

Bookjoon: :)

 

Jung Hoseok: Get a room you two

 

Seokjinnie: Hoseok I swear

Seokjinnie: One more word and this Halloween you'll be celebrating in a coffin

 

Bookjoon: Calm down hyung

Bookjoon: He just thinks he's funny

 

McKookie: Wow

McKookie: Namjoon hyung be throwing shade

 

Jung Hoseok: Wtf you sound like Jimin

 

McKookie: Jimin? Who's Jimin

 

Jung Hoseok: Suspicious 🤨

 

Seokjinnie: Can we get back on track please

Seokjinnie: I wanted to say that I'll be organising a small party

Seokjinnie: If any of you wants to attend then feel free to come

 

Jung Hoseok: Will there be your classmates?

 

Seokjinnie: Classmates lol

Seokjinnie: What are you, nine?

Seokjinnie: Only a couple of them, but they're cool 

 

Jung Hoseok: Hmmmmm

Jung Hoseok: On a second thought

Jung Hoseok: I prefer your party:D

 

Seokjinnie: Sweetie, you better

 

Bookjoon: I'll come as well

 

Seokjinnie: Awesome, then you better be fast because you have only a week left for preparing your costume:))

 

Jung Hoseok: It's a costume party??

 

Bookjoon: Oh lord

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

18.00

TaeTae

I bring good news

ChimChim

Me too!

TaeTae

Who goes first?

ChimChim

You can

TaeTae

Okay

I think I'm friends with Namjoon!

ChimChim

Oh!! Good! You really are fast

TaeTae

I know right

I'm quite proud of myself (●´ω`●)

ChimChim

And you should

You did a great job today:)

TaeTae

Okay now your turn

ChimChim

You better sit down for this

TaeTae

Oh? Alright Im sitting

ChimChim

Today I've met Yoongi's second best friend

Or first

Idk

TaeTae

!!!

ChimChim

That's not all

He offered me help

H e l p

He's a fucking cupid send to me from the grace of old gods

He's a brat but a clever one

Tae

He knows

TaeTae

Oh

OH

But he won't say anything right

ChimChim

He won't

And he still wants to help

!!

TaeTae

Omg Jiminie that's so awesome!!

We have a strong ally now

ChimChim

If only him…

TaeTae

What do you mean by that

ChimChim

He has a whole avenger's team

I swear to God

I think there's 8 of them??

TaeTae

Wow

8 cupids

ChimChim

It's like a love boyband

Luck's on my side;))

I have bad news though…

I won't go to Jin's Halloween party :(

TaeTae

Oh no why:((((

ChimChim

Jungkook invited me to their horror movie night!!

Jungkook's the friend btw

TaeTae

But aren't you scared of horror movies

ChimChim

Well yeah but Yoongi will be there

I can be a big boy too

TaeTae

Pffft

Sure

ChimChim

Hey!

I'm serious!!

TaeTae

Okay okay

I believe you

ChimChim

But um,,, Tae,,,

TaeTae

What is it

ChimChim

Can you walk me to their house…?

TaeTae

Looool

I can

But I'll be teasing you all the way there

ChimChim

Fine😑

Who will you be for Jin's party?

TaeTae

Joker

ChimChim

God you're so edgy sometimes

Please don't do your "why so serious" thing

TaeTae

Hey it's cool!

ChimChim

No it's not

You don't even speak english that well

TaeTae

About that!

Namjoon told me he could teach me (ヽ´ω`)

ChimChim

He knows english?

TaeTae

Mhm

He's even an English major

How cool is that??

He's really smart

ChimChim

Woah

I'm impressed

No wonder Jinnie has a thing for him

TaeTae

:(

I wish he didn't

ChimChim

It will pass dw

TaeTae

I hope so

 

[ Hoes ]

18.27

Hoesok: Hey Tae

Hoesok: @Babyboy

Hoesok: What was your fake account called like again

 

Babyboy: Vante

Babyboy: Why?

 

Succubi: HOSEOK

 

Hoesok: Nevermind

 

Babyboy: Jimin did you hack it again?

 

Succubi: You can’t call it hacking when all I do is guess your pathetic passwords

 

Babyboy: Make your own fake and leave mine alone>:((

Babyboy: I have it for lurking not for you to fight with people on the internet

Gray is online

Succubi: Unlike you, I don’t want to get banned on main

 

Babyboy: If I have to insult people I might as well do it like a man

 

Hoesok: #No fakes we die like men

 

Succubi: Fuck you guys

Succubi: Never @ me anywhere again.

 

Gray: What are you fleas arguing about again

Gray: What a bunch of kids

Gray: Do I need to act like a parent again?

 

Succubi: It's not my fault Taehyung can't share

 

Babyboy: It was never yours in the first place

Babyboy: I'm changing the password

 

Succubi: Oh please, I'll guess it again

 

Babyboy: I want to see you try ;)

 

Gray: Tae's right

Gray: Jimin you should act like an adult

Gray: If it's going to get you banned then so be it

 

Succubi: And how the hell will I be able to text with you then

 

Gray: You won't lol

Gray: This is the price you pay for bravery

 

Hoesok: And that's why I'm a coward

 

Babyboy: Hobi no offence but you wouldn't insult a fly

 

Succubi: And that's why you're the best manager💜

 

Hoesok: :(

Hoesok: I can be mean too!

Hoesok: I just prefer not to…

 

Gray: Good

Gray: Leave the rest to us

 

Babyboy: Yea at least one person here has to be baby

 

Succubi: Tae you're baby too

 

Babyboy: But I can show my claws too٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 

Hoesok: True

 

Succubi: True

 

Gray: But even then you're cute lol

 

Babyboy: Jinnie hyung has never seen my studio photos ;))

 

Gray: Because none of you bitches wants to show me:))))

 

Hoesok: Sorry hyung

Hoesok: It's a precious blackmail

 

Succubi: Yeah there's not much you can have on Taehyung

 

Babyboy: I mean, if I can't win against you then how would I be able to be an actor

Babyboy: You're worse than paparazzi

 

Succubi: That's right lol

 

Gray: Fine.

Gray: Who y'all gonna be for Halloween

 

Babyboy: Joker

 

Gray: God why

 

Succubi: Exactly my words

 

Hoesok: Idk yet

Hoesok: Something easy probably

Hoesok: Like a skeleton??

 

Gray: Alright

Gray: Jimin?

 

Babyboy: Jimin's not going this year

 

Gray: What?

Gray: How dare you

 

Succubi: Sorry hyung:(

 

Gray: It's fine, where are you going then?

 

Succubi: Um,,, it's a secret?

 

Gray: You're going to your crush am I right?:))

 

Succubi: Even if you're right

Succubi: Then what

Succubi: You're going to stalk me bc you can't figure out who's my crush?🙄

 

Gray: Huh that's a great idea

 

Succubi: Come on!!

Succubi: I got invited so it's not like I can deny now

 

Hoesok: You could lol

 

Succubi: Shut it

 

Gray: Ooh so your crush had invited you hmmm?

Gray: You're starting to expose yourself honey xx

 

Succubi: You wish

 

[ Comedian & Sociopath ]

18.42

Sociopath

JUNGKOOK

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

YOU CAN'T TELL JIN I'M COMING TO YOUR MOVIE NIGHT

Comedian

What?

Why

Sociopath

He'll instantly now I'm crushing on Yoongi:))

Comedian

But isn't that quite obvious

Sociopath

Yeah to you

I'm not talking about him 24/7 on our gc

Comedian

Why are you so stuck up on keeping this from Seokjin hyung?

Sociopath

He's really… uh

He would try to help in his own way

Which would totally embarrass me

And he wouldn't shut up about it 

Comedian

Honestly

I think I get it

I saw a guy one time and thought he was really beautiful

(I'm not gay btw)

And the whole gc won't stop talking about him

Sociopath

Lol

See

Exactly my point

Comedian

Don't worry, Jimin

I won't say a word:)

Sociopath

Thank you Kookie💜

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

9.05

Babyboy: THIS IS HALLOWEEN

 

Hoesok: EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE

 

Succubi: TRICK OR TREAT TILL THE NEIGHBORS GONNA DIE OF FRIGHT

 

Babyboy: IT'S OUR TOWN EVERYBODY SCREAM

 

Hoesok: IN THIS TOWN OF HALLOWEEN

 

Gray: Stfu

Gray: I forgot to mute my phone 

 

Succubi: Sorry hyung today your word has no power

 

Babyboy: Halloween!!!

 

Hoesok: 🧟🧛🦇

 

Babyboy: Shit professor saw me

Babyboy is offline

Succubi: Lol

 

Hoesok: À propos

Hoesok: Don't you have dance classes now?

 

Succubi: I do

Succubi: But today our teacher has a bad day

Succubi: And she's having 1vs1 routine

Succubi: I'm scared she's gonna hate on me:((

 

Hoesok: I mean

Hoesok: She is pretty strict

Hoesok: But she's bitching only to people who are lazy

Hoesok: Which you aren't

 

Succubi: Okay:((

Succubi: You MAY be right

 

Hoesok: Fuck you of course I'm right

Hoesok: You're one of the best dancers I know

 

Succubi: Awww

Succubi: That really helped Hobi 💜

Succubi: I'm still anxious but I'm glad you think I'm the best^^

 

Hoesok: Sunshine Hobi at your service ☀️

 

[THE Hyung & Namjoonie]

10.15

THE Hyung

Joonie I'm boreeed

Namjoonie

Where are you?

THE Hyung

At my lecture

We were supposed to cut bodies today

But turns out we don't have any:(

Namjoonie

'cut bodies' 

That's sounds so creepy

I think it's good though?

The lack of bodies, I mean

THE Hyung

It's not like there's no bodies

They just forgot to get them for us😑

Namjoonie

I see

You should still listen to your lecture

You give me a bad example:/

THE Hyung

Oh please

You're the role model here

Namjoonie

That's right lol

THE Hyung

God, kids are spamming the gc again

Namjoonie

You're a busy parent

THE Hyung

I really am:(

Namjoonie

What are they talking about

THE Hyung

They're singing 'this is Halloween' again

I guess they won't stop until they've sung the whole thing

Namjoonie

Lool

Hoseok hyung is there too?

THE Hyung

He is

The biggest child I swear

Namjoonie

You still love them though:)

THE Hyung

Ugh

I do…

Hey Joonie

Namjoonie

What is it?

THE Hyung

Remember when I told you about Taehyung?

Namjoonie

Taehyung?

THE Hyung

Yeah, Kim Taehyung

Namjoonie

Oh

THE Hyung

Hm?

Namjoonie

Nothing, I just remembered something

I think you mentioned him once or twice

Probably more but without including his name

THE Hyung

Yes well you're going to meet him tonight

He can be a bit weird sometimes so please be kind

Namjoonie

Don't worry hyung

I would never disappoint you:)

THE Hyung

Haha yeah I know 

 

[ Hoes ]

18.31

Succubi: TAE PLEASE TAKE SOME FOR ME

 

Babyboy: It's your fault you aren't going trick-or-treating with me

 

Gray: Silence

Gray: Jimin

Gray: Where are you

 

Succubi: Wouldn't you like to know huh

Succubi: I'm getting something to eat

Succubi: I still have some time left before the meeting;))

 

Gray: UGHH I WILL DISCOVER YOUR FILTHY SECRET

 

Succubi: Maybe you want a hint?

 

Gray: Never!

 

Succubi: Lol I knew you would be too prideful to use one

 

Gray: I'll inject a tracker in your neck if I'll have to

 

Succubi: Am I a dog to you?

 

Gray: Of course not, a dog would've stayed loyal

 

Babyboy: Oh shit (´゚д゚`)

 

Succubi: I'm speechless

 

[ ChimChim & TaeTae ]

18.40

TaeTae

So where exactly are you?

ChimChim

I'll send you my location

Hey Tae

TaeTae

?

ChimChim

Thank you 

TaeTae

No problem

Jinnie told me Namjoon's gonna be on his party

I'll do you proud

ChimChim

So we all have a mission today

TaeTae

I've never would've guessed I'd play such a big role in your love life lol

ChimChim

Me too

18.50

TaeTae

I'm here

Let's roll

ChimChim

Yass

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

18.51

Yoongles

youre late

Jungleok

I knoow

I'm sorry

I'll be sometime after 7

Yoongles

this kid sometimes-

is your friend going to be late too?

Jungleok

I don't think so

He wouldn't dare

Yoongles

okay?



Jungkook was a pretty good runner. He runs on numerous occasions, being late on a bus, being late to classes, being late to...

 

Okay maybe he's just late all the time.

 

But today, on a Halloween evening, he was running to help a stranger crushing on his best friend. Not a typical scenario, but he's not so easily surprised anymore.

 

He was nearing that one particular corner before he could finally see his home, when suddenly-

 

"Fuck!" Jungkook yelled out after running right into someone's face. He furiously massaged his nose with his eyes squeezed shut as he was saying sorry to the poor soul unfortunate enough to slam into him.

 

"It's okay," chuckled the stranger and the familiarity of his voice made Jungkook stop dead in his tracks.

 

He opened his eyes and immediately gasped. Someone dressed as Joker was smiling at him, one of the most creepy sights Jungkook had seen this week. But that didn't make his heart run laps. What did was the face hiding underneath the thick makeup.

 

"It's you," Jungkook breathed out.

 

Tan skin, brown eyes with dancing sparkles inside them, and that weird, rectangle-shaped smile of his.

 

All of it covered in god-awful makeup and topped with rotten green hair.

 

"You look awful," commented Jungkook before he could stop himself. 

 

The McDonald guy started laughing at him. Oh God, McDonalds guy was laughing at him. Jungkook could feel his cheeks and ears getting hotter with embarrassment.

 

"What a nice way of starting a conversation," laughed the man. He didn't look offended, thankfully. "It's so weird to see you outside of McDonald's."

 

Jungkook's thoughts were racing faster than Lightning McQueen himself. That's why he doesn't like meeting new people. How should he act? How polite should he be? Is he older or younger? 

 

"-Taehyung."

 

Jungkook focused again. What was he saying?

 

As if sensing his confusion, the man added, "Kim."

 

"Jeon," Jungkook blubbered out. Fuck he was so awkward.

 

"You're American?" Taehyung Kim tilted his head. No wait, that sounds weird. His head was starting to spin.

 

"Uhh." 

 

"Nevermind," he smiled. "Your Korean is pretty good though." 

 

Jungkook felt like he has created a big misunderstanding that would bite him in the ass later, but processing anything that was happening in front of him was too hard for his brain to keep up.

 

"Thank you?" Jungkook looked down to his feet, shuffling them at the same time. He didn't know what to say anymore.

 

"So, John-ssi," he broke the silence. "It was nice meeting you." Seeing that Jungkook wasn't reacting at all, he added, "Aren't you in a hurry?"

 

The gears turned in his head again. Was he insulting him? What the fuck? He hoped Yoongi has bought the advil he promised he would. "Yes, I mean- no. No, kinda? But not really. It's complicated, give me a minute."

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

19.05

Yoongles

are you there yet

jimins already eating the popcorn

he looks ready to kill?

 

19.10

Jungleok

Can't come be there later bye

Yoongles

?

jungkook are you okay



When he put down his phone, Kim Taehyung (because that's how names work, not the other way around, dumbass) was standing closer than before, his intent look laying down on Jungkook, expecting something.

 

"Where are you going?" Asked Jungkook and tried to take a big breath as quietly as possible.

 

"My hyung's party," he answered, but didn't move an inch. "How's your arm?"

 

"It's better." Jungkook instinctively reached for his forearm. "Thank you for asking." 

 

"Oh right!!" Kim Taehyung's face lit up as the sudden thought has strict him. "Did you read the book? I hope it was good, I don't have any knowledge of cat's…" He gasped. "Oh no! What if you didn't like it?"

 

"No, no, no, no, no!" Jungkook waved his hands. "I loved it! It was so good, I've read the whole thing."

 

Taehyung snorted. "It's just a 'how to' book. You must really love cats."

 

"Uh, yeah… I adore them." He raised his injured arm. "But they don't reciprocate my feelings."

 

Just as Taehyung started saying something, a loud melody blasted from his trousers' pocket. As Taehyung was trying to fish out his phone, a familiar voice sang in sync with the melody. Jungkook couldn't put his finger on it, but it was the least important thing on his mind right now.

 

"Oh it's my hyung," he put the phone to his ear. "Hello. I'm coming." A beat passed. "Um, I don't know. Nooo, don't do this, I'm not a kid." He looked at Jungkook. "John-ssi! How long do you live in Seoul? No hyung, I'm not talking to you."

 

"Three years? Also please don't call me Jeon-ssi"

 

"How should I call you then? Do you have a korean name?"

 

"Yeah obviously."

 

"What is it?" He turned his attention to the phone, "Shut up hyung I'm having a conversation."

 

"Jeongguk, or maybe Kook," he muttered the last part. "Everyone calls me differently, one friend even called me Justin." Seeing Taehyung's confused face he reconsidered, "You know what, call me whatever you like. Just forget about -ssi"

 

"Jeongguk. John-gguk." He smiled again. "Your parents must have a good sense of humour."

 

He doesn't get it. And why is Taehyung using that weird accent? "They don't."

 

"Oh, sorry." He smiled apologetically. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you could help me get here," he showed him a message on his phone with the address.

 

Just as Jungkook was about to answer, he saw the caller's ID and immediately closed his mouth shut.

 

A name 'Jinnie-hyung' showed on the slightly transparent photo of Seokjin while he still had his hair coloured brown.

 

"John?"

 

So many shocks in a short span of time made Jungkook's brain crash and reboot in exactly five seconds.

 

John . Not Jeon, John.

 

Jungkook wanted to correct him, he really did. But after remembering Seokjin's photo he just saw? No way in hell he's going to voluntarily expose himself.

 

He stepped aside so the phone wouldn't catch his voice and answered, "Yeah, I can show you the way."

 

"Thank you!" He took back his phone. "John will help me, don't worry, hyung." Taehyung furrowed his brows, "I'm not rude and he's not going to rape me." He sighed. Seokjin must've started his parent rant because Taehyung looked extremely bored.

 

When Jungkook wanted to say something to hurry him up, Taehyung half shouted half said, "No, I don't know where Jimin is, bye!" And quickly ended his call.

 

Jimin? As in Park Jimin? He really hoped he was mistaken, but just to be sure he's going to play dumb.

 

"Is this Jimin person lost or something?" Jungkook had asked after motioning for them to start walking.

 

"Nah," Taehyung waved his hand. "Hyung is just desperately trying to find out who his crush is. I'm covering for him."

 

"You must really like each other."

 

"Yes! We're platonic soulmates!" He laughed and Jungkook would've called it an amazing sight if it weren't for the Joker makeup. "I actually walked him here for a movie night his crush is organising."

 

Yeah it's definitely him. God, what did he get himself into?

 

The walk was pretty nice. Taehyung was doing most of the talking, which Jungkook was very grateful for. He already embarrassed himself enough after calling his 'cat' Hoseok.

 

"You just turn around the corner and the building should be right there,” said Jungkook after taking out his phone from his jumper's pocket. The sight of twelve missed calls and several unread messages drained all the colour from his face.

 

"Thank you so much! Listen, do you maybe want to- Oh God what's wrong with your face?!"

 

"I'm a dead man, Taehyung-ssi," he said while looking at his phone. Another series of messages flooded his screen, making him cringe. "I need to go, sorry."

 

"It's fine, but what happened? Are you really going to die?" Jungkook wanted to laugh at how literally Taehyung took his words in. 

 

"No, I just left without saying anything to my hyung. Don't worry about me." He tried to smile. "I really need to go though," he grimaced.

 

"I get it, well, it was a nice walk! Thank you for your help once again!"

 

Jungkook was grateful he was so scared to face Yoongi, that it made it easier to talk with Taehyung like a normal human being. He smiled, this time for real and said, while walking away, "See you soon!"

 

When he was too far away to hear anything, Taehyung smiled to himself. "He really has a bunny smile."

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

19.10

Jungleok

Can't come be there later bye

Yoongles

?

jungkook?

are you okay?

 

im serious

come on just answer me

one message to ease your hyungs worries

did you leave your phone on silent again

19.38

the moment you step inside our house youll be dead

i promise you

19.50

come on im seriously worried something happened to you

i called you

at least jimins trying to help

i kinda feel bad for destroying the movie night

20.06

Jungleok

HYUNG I'M BACK

IM SO SORRY

PLEASE DONT KILL ME

I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN

Yoongles

As you fucking should.

what the fuck jungkook

are you okay? did something happen to you?

Jungleok

Not quite but that doesn't matter now

I'm 100% fine

I was helping someone

Yoongles

let me guess

that someone was a complete stranger?

Jungleok

It depends on perspective…

Yoongles

ill strangle you

and i think itll be very easy considering jimins on my side

Jungleok

Pfft Jimins a wimp

Yoongles

you would be surprised

 

[ Sociopath & Comedian ]

19.26

Sociopath

Jungkook where the fuck are you

I know it was supposed to be a horror night

But because of scary films, not your disappearance!

19.41

We're discussing how we'll hide your body

After we kill you ofc

God

Yoongi is really worried you know?

It's awful to witness:(((((

Jungkook pleaseee 

Say something

20.12

Comedian

I hear you Jimin

I'm sorry

I already talked with Yoongi hyung

Also please don't kill me

I'm your best shot at getting close with Yoongi hyung

Sociopath

Fair point

But you make it sound like I only care about him

I was worried too you know

You're a fun guy

Comedian

Woah thanks for the compliment

Sociopath

Yah

I'm serious

Now come back so we can give you a big hug:((

Comedian

On my way

 

[ King and the peasants ]

21.19

Yoongi: in spite of todays events im gonna remind you all that not only seokjin has admin rights

Yoongi: and after so long, i too will use them however i want to

 

McKookie: Kneel before the one and only rightful King, Protector of our realm

Yoongi changed his nickname to Lord Yoongi

Lord Yoongi added Park Jimin to the group chat

Park Jimin: Long live the King!!

Lord Yoongi changed Park Jimin 's nickname to Fairy

Jung Hoseok is online

Lord Yoongi changed Jung Hoseok 's nickname to Hobi

Hobi: :0 hyung!! 

Hobi: You've added Jiminie?

 

Fairy: Hi Hobi!! How's the party?

 

Hobi: It's fun! Taehyung's telling us about some guy from America

 

McKookie: Oh lol

McKookie: What did he say

 

Hobi: Idk he's blabbering as always

Hobi: I only remember the part when the American said his cat's named Hoseok

Hobi: What are the odds lol

 

Lord Yoongi: i can see some resemblance

Lord Yoongi: You've bitten Jungkook

 

Fairy: Omg right I forgot about it

 

McKookie: And it should've stayed this way

 

Hobi: I got what I deserved so it's fine lol

 

Fairy: Hoseok are you drunk

 

Hobi: Only a little

Hobi: I know what's happening if that's what you mean lol

 

Fairy: Please don't ask Hoseok anything right now

 

Lord Yoongi: why

 

Fairy: He's using lol all the time

Fairy: That can only mean one thing

Fairy: He's 4 shots in

Fairy: He'll answer truthfully to anything you ask him

 

McKookie: Oh?

McKookie: Hoseok-ssi

McKookie: Why do you keep placing me as a cashier

 

Hobi: Cause you're one of the few sane enough to represent us lol

 

McKookie: Wow it works

 

Fairy: Hey! Then how come I'm always in the kitchen?

 

Hobi: You just answered yourself

 

McKookie: Omg ahaha

McKookie: I agree

 

Fairy: Shut up

 

Lord Yoongi: i havent wanted to use hoseok this way but…

Lord Yoongi: remember when you had a black eye?

 

Hobi: Unfortunately

 

Fairy: I see where this is going

 

Lord Yoongi: Who did this to you?

McKookie is offline

Hobi: Jungkook lol

 

Lord Yoongi: what

 

Fairy: Ahahahaha Hoseokie you better drink more to forget this moment

 

Lord Yoongi: Jungkook did it?

 

Hobi: Mhm but it was self defense

 

Fairy: God who let Hoseok drink?

 

Hobi: Jinnie

 

Fairy: Fuck

Fairy: FUCK

Fairy: IT WAS HIS PLAN FROM THE VERY BEGINNING

Seokjinnie is online

Seokjinnie: Well well well

Seokjinnie: Look who's finally caught up?

 

Lord Yoongi: im very confused

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

21.31

ChimChim

TAE PLS DO SOMETHING AND DO IT QUICK

TaeTae

What???

ChimChim

THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN

HOSOEK

HE CANT WRITE

AND TALK

HES GONNA EXPOSE ME

TaeTae

So that's why Jin bought so much alcohol…

I'm already on it

It's gonna be legendary

 

[ King and the peasants ]

21.35

Seokjinnie: also why the fuck did you add jimin here

Seokjinnie: you two are banned to talk to each other

 

Lord Yoongi: jiminie is very kind and im not going to listen to your petty rules

 

Fairy: Jiminie xjsnzjskx

 

Lord Yoongi: so just to be safe

Lord Yoongi took away Seokjinnie admin rights

 

Seokjinnie: How CoULD YOU

 

Fairy: Good job hyung:)

 

Seokjinnie: I'll get back to this

Seokjinnie: For some reason, Jimin didn't want to tell me who his crush is

Seokjinnie: Even though he knows mine.

 

Lord Yoongi: You have a crush?

 

Seokjinnie: Unimportant

 

Fairy: You didn't tell me, it was just so obvious that even Taehyung caught up

 

Seokjinnie: Whatever

Seokjinnie: But you still know 

Seokjinnie: And now I feel like you don't trust me enough to share your secrets with me

Seokjinnie: I thought we were friends

 

Fairy: Oh

Fairy: I didn't know you felt that way

Fairy: I just didn't want you to get excited and try to help me

Fairy: Cause it would make things worse…

 

Seokjinnie: Something stinks here

 

Fairy: No, I'm telling the truth

 

Seokjinnie: Not this

Seokjinnie: Something in my house

Hobi is offline

Seokjinnie: KIM TAEHYUNG

Seokjinnie is offline

Lord Yoongi: ?

Lord Yoongi: everytime i hear about this guy something bad happens

 

Fairy: Taehyungie has a thing for attracting disasters

Fairy: All in good intentions

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

21.48

ChimChim

Uh

What did you do?

TaeTae

I'll be quick 

I set Jin's kitchen on fire

Gotta go

We'll be fine

ChimChim

WHAT

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M PROUD OR TERRIFIED

 

[ Worldwide Handsome & I can be your Angle ]

23.42

I can be your Angle

Hyung,,,

How's the house?

Worldwide Handsome

That's not how I imagined this party to end

I can be your Angle

Yeah…

Worldwide Handsome

If Taehyung wants to pay for the kitchen he better become a pornstar 

It was pretty expensive:))

I can be your Angle

Saxophonista lol

Worldwide Handsome

What do you want Jimin

I'm seriously not in the mood

This day could've gone in so many directions

Like idk drunk make-out with Namjoon

I can be your Angle

Ew

You should stop thinking about that

Worldwide Handsome

Yeah I won't listen about crushes from someone that doesn't want me involved

I can be your Angle

Ugh that's why I'm here

I'm really sorry

That wasn't my intention at all

I meant everything I said back in the gc

You're like a big brother to me

And you know how embarrassing brothers can be

I just wanted to have such a good impression that I forgot about someone whose opinion I value the most…

Worldwide Handsome

Oh Jiminie…

I know I make fun of you a lot

But I never want you to feel hurt

And if you really care that much I won't interfere

I just don't want to be left out

It makes me feel old

I can be your Angle

Jinnie:((((

I love you so so much

I would never leave you

Even if you'd kill someone

Worldwide Handsome

Good

Cause I'm going to kill Taehyung:)))

I can be your Angle

Okay I take it back

You hurt Taehyung and we're over

Worldwide Handsome

And where's that love for me you just proclaimed huh

I can be your Angle

Sorry there are a few exceptions

Worldwide Handsome

Whatever

I love you too

I can be your Angle

Okay now listen

I'm gonna tell you about my crush

Just

Don't freak out

Worldwide Handsome

Jiminie you don't have to do this

I understand now

I can be your Angle

Yes but I want to

Worldwide Handsome

Oh okay

Then

Spill the tea sis

I can be your Angle

It's…uhm

Min Yoongi

Worldwide Handsome

What

I can be your Angle

Yes I know he's your friend I shouldn't do this

I'm sorry but he's just…Idek

I feel good around him

Worldwide Handsome

Boo, calm down

I guess it makes sense

Give me a minute

Honestly, I thought you were gonna say Jungkook or someone like that lol

I can be your Angle

Ewww

He's a brat

Worldwide Handsome

Oh so you know each other?

I can be your Angle

Uhh

Ah, fuck it

You might as well know

Jungkook's helping me with Yoongi

Worldwide Handsome

WhAT Ahahahaha

Jungkook?

That awkward ball of stress?

I can be your Angle

Yeah he was supposed to help, but today he made Yoongi hyung worry

Tbh it worked as well

Worldwide Handsome

Yeah he added you to the group AND took my admin rights!

Unbelievable

What kids won't do for love…

I can be your Angle

Sooo

You'll stay out of it?

Worldwide Handsome

Yes

Don't get me wrong, I WILL tease you about it

But 

Thank you for including me:)

I can be your Angle

No problem hyung:))

Worldwide Handsome

Taehyung still needs to pay me back though

I can be your Angle

Dammit

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

11.04

Succubi: Anyone wants to go out for lunch later?

 

Babyboy: I do

Babyboy: But I'm broke af

Babyboy: Why did Jin hyung had such expensive kitchen wtf

 

Hoesok: Rich parents

 

Babyboy: :((

 

Hoesok: How are you going to pay him back tho?

Hoesok: You want a spot at McDonald's?

 

Babyboy: Never

Babyboy: I'm not crazy enough for this place

 

Hoesok: You set your friend's kitchen on fire

 

Babyboy: It was in the name of friendship

 

Succubi: 💜

 

Babyboy: Anyway I'm going to pose for photography classes

Babyboy: There's a lot of them

 

Succubi: Probably because photographers are perverts

 

Babyboy: It's not like I have a choice😑

Babyboy: At least I know I'll do good on the job

Babyboy: But it doesn't pay much;(

 

Succubi: I mean

Succubi: They're students

Succubi: What did you expect

 

Babyboy: Maybe it's time to catfish people

Babyboy: Or to prove why I have that nickname

Babyboy: But that would be only for myself!!

 

Hoesok: Good luck with that

 

Succubi: 'for myself' lol

Succubi: As long as it works

 

Babyboy: I saw on the bulletin board that they're looking for models on Saturday classes

Babyboy: And it pays more

 

Succubi: Saturday??? Who's crazy enough to go to school on Saturdays

 

Babyboy: Idk 

Babyboy: I think these are extra classes

Babyboy: For the  t a l e n t e d

 

Succubi: Ooooh

Succubi: Talented you say;)))

 

Babyboy: You better stay in your lane

Babyboy: You make a mistake and Yoongi will know immediately

 

Hoesok: That's right lol

Hoesok: Jungkook from one side and Jin from the other

 

Succubi: I'm joking of course

Succubi: I would never betray Yoongi hyung

 

Babyboy: You're not yet together tho

 

Succubi: We will.

 

Babyboy: Anyway

Babyboy: Jiminie do you want to help me with looking for losers with money?:(

 

Succubi: Sure

Succubi: Grow up tho

Succubi: I can't talk for you forever

 

Babyboy: Yeah but Im no good at sexting (・д・)

Babyboy: It makes me uncomfortable:((

 

Succubi: It's fine

Succubi: One day you'll learn

Succubi: At least you provide the photos

 

Hoesok: My eyes

Hoesok: I imagined Taehyung sending someone nudes ejxnsjzjs

 

Babyboy: Ewwww hyung wtf

Babyboy: I wouldn't send nudes to a stranger

 

Succubi: Yeah we're respecting our bodies

Succubi: We only send half nudes

Succubi: You know like upperbody only

 

Hoesok: You too???

 

Succubi: I did* Not anymore

 

Hoesok: I hope so

12.25

Gray: Hey Tae

Gray: Are you going to act in the Christmas play this year?

 

Babyboy: Yes

Babyboy: And I'm even playing one of the main roles!!

Babyboy: Not the mainest but still an improvement from the last year

 

Gray: 'mainest'

 

Babyboy: Why do you ask

 

Gray: There's a slight possibility that my midterms will overlap with the play

Gray: Do you know when is it?

 

Babyboy: Not yet

Babyboy: We're artists, don't expect too much from us

Babyboy: Maybe in the middle of December??

 

Gray: How can you not know… It's in a month..

 

Babyboy: And a half

Babyboy: They'll probably tell us at the end of November 

Babyboy: Btw how are your studies hyung

 

Gray: Good

Gray: I can't wait when I'll finally get my degree and never come back here

Gray: I'll be an awful doctor lol

 

Babyboy: You won't

Babyboy: Even if you haven't wanted to be a doctor, you're really good at it

 

Gray: You've seen me in action only once

Gray: And it was when you were dying on the airport

 

Babyboy: But you helped 

 

Gray: No, you THREW UP on my lap

 

Babyboy: But it helped so case closed

Babyboy: (´ε` )

 

Gray: This kid sometimes-

Gray: Ah fuck it

 

Babyboy: ??

 

Gray: Come on Tae

Gray: I'll buy you lunch

Gray: We still have some time before the break ends

Gray: I don't want to eat alone, today's depressing:(((

 

Babyboy: Sure hyung!!

Babyboy: Do you want to see the screenplay and act out something??

 

Gray: Yes please

 

Jung Hoseok has created a new group chat with Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin

14.08

Jung Hoseok set the group chat name to McGang

 

Jung Hoseok: So I'm at work and something is happening

Jung Hoseok: I noticed it much earlier

Jung Hoseok: But now that you know each other I might as well ask you both at the same time

 

Park Jimin: Nice name hyung

 

Jung Hoseok: Thank you 😚

 

Jeon Jungkook: What happened?

 

Jung Hoseok: For some reason every time I'm working I see at least one Subway worker lurking in the shadows

Jung Hoseok: It's creeping me out

 

Jeon Jungkook: Not only you…

 

Park Jimin: I *might* have something to do with it

Park Jimin: I had to start The War

 

Jung Hoseok: So it was you???

Jung Hoseok: Are you out of your mind!!

Jung Hoseok: We stand no chance against them

 

Jeon Jungkook: I'm very confused

 

Jung Hoseok: Right you haven't worked here for long

Jung Hoseok: We had a mutual disagreement between Subway and us that turned into rivalry and then it turned into hostility

 

Jeon Jungkook: But why

 

Jung Hoseok: There's this guy

Jung Hoseok: What was his name?

 

Park Jimin: Minseok

 

Jung Hoseok: Right

Jung Hoseok: So Minseok 

Jung Hoseok: Or should I say

Jung Hoseok: King of the Detail:))

 

Park Jimin: He faked our coupons

 

Jeon Jungkook: What

 

Jung Hoseok: It has started way before you came here

Jung Hoseok: He was making fake coupons for himself to use at McDonald's

 

Park Jimin: And those coupons had great deals

 

Jung Hoseok: Such greats deals that he started selling them to others

 

Jeon Jungkook: Looool and no-one noticed??

 

Jung Hoseok: No because back then the cashiers were clueless idiots

 

Park Jimin: No they weren't

Park Jimin: They were med school students

Park Jimin: Poor med students don't sleep at all

 

Jeon Jungkook: That's true

Jeon Jungkook: They're zombies

 

Jung Hoseok: Huh that explains a lot

Jung Hoseok: It doesn't change anything though.

Jung Hoseok: After a month every second customer had those fucking coupons

 

Park Jimin: We were so broke lol

 

Jung Hoseok: So we sent Kyungsoo

 

Park Jimin: He never came back…

 

Jeon Jungkook: Oh no

Jeon Jungkook: Did they kill him?!

 

Park Jimin: No lmao

Park Jimin: He got a spot on the marketing team😑

 

Jung Hoseok: I guess he saw how Minseok made the coupons and appreciated his artistic skills deeply

 

Jeon Jungkook: Omg I can't believe this

 

Park Jimin: Later we sued them for counterfeit and they hated us ever since :D

 

Jung Hoseok: But back to the present

Jung Hoseok: Why would you start The War

Jung Hoseok: I was perfectly content with the cold stares and insults

 

Park Jimin: It was an emergency

Park Jimin: I needed to talk to Yoongi hyung

Park Jimin: And I was already after my break:(

 

Jung Hoseok: That's a shit excuse

 

Jeon Jungkook: Come on hyung, even for love?

 

Park Jimin: :000

 

Jung Hoseok: Oh my God he did it

Jung Hoseok: He finally did it

 

Jeon Jungkook: What??

Jeon Jungkook: O h

 

Jung Hoseok Aaaaaaaa I'm so happy Kookie!!!☀️

 

Park Jimin: Aww what a cute boy:))

 

Jeon Jungkook: Shut up Jimin 

 

Jung Hoseok: Yah! Have some respect for your elders

 

Park Jimin: What

 

Jeon Jungkook: What

 

Jung Hoseok: Uh, you didn't know?

Jung Hoseok: Jungkook's from '97

 

Park Jimin: WHAT

Park Jimin: HE WAS YOUNGER THAN ME ALL THIS TIME?

 

Jeon Jungkook: Omg I thought Jimin was the same age as me

 

Park Jimin: Jimin hyung***

Park Jimin: I can't believe someone will finally call me that💜💜💜

 

Jeon Jungkook: In your dreams

 

Park Jimin: RESPECT ME

 

Jeon Jungkook: NEVER

 

Jung Hoseok: I regret this



[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

15.44

Min Yoongi

hey jimin

Park Jimin

Yes, hyung?

Min Yoongi

i wanted to repay you for the halloween incident

are you free now?

Park Jimin

Aw hyung

You don't have to

You were worried and I just tried to calm you down:)

I'm finishing in 10 minutes tho

Min Yoongi

but i want to

i can pick you up and we can go eat something?

Park Jimin

Okay!!

I'll be waiting 💜

Min Yoongi

ok

ill take you to jungkookies and i fav lamb skewers place

Park Jimin

I'm sure it'll be amazing

 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

16.28

TaeTae

Jimin help me

ChimChim

Um Tae I'm kinda in the middle of something

TaeTae

This is more important

Bald head answered

ChimChim

Oh shit

What about the business student

TaeTae

Meh he just wanted a pic of my feet

But he said it's a one-time thing

ChimChim

And you…?

TaeTae

Agreed of course

W 50 000 just entered my Paypal;)))

ChimChim

I taught you well

You could've charged him more tho

Anyway what about the bald head

Be quick I'm busy

TaeTae

Okay so turns out he's kinda important??

Knows a lot of people n shit

I sent him your lines

He wanted nudes and I panicked a little and told him to take it slowly idek

So I can send him 5 different 'sexy' pics and he'll pay me...

Get ready

W 600 000

ChimChim

Oh Lord oh fuck

Okay Im gonna tell Yoongi I need to go to the toilet

TaeTae

You didn't tell me you were with Yoongi!!

ChimChim

It's doesn't matter now

Baldhead is more important

TaeTae

If you say so

Im obviously taking the money

but how should I answer??

ChimChim

Hmm

Say something like

Only 5?;)) I guess I can do that…

Send one pic then

And write

Do you like pretty boys?;))

TaeTae

That's disgusting and cringy

Perfect

 

Okay he's satisfied

Said I can send him more in the evening

When he will be "in the mood"

ChimChim

Wow what a loser

TaeTae

Yes but he's going to send in the money now

So Idc (^○^)

ChimChim

Okay

I'll see you in the evening then?

 

TaeTae

Yes!! Have fun!!

Use protection!

ChimChim

Bitch, I fckn wish

 

[ Comedian & Sociopath ]

18.00

Sociopath

I have questions

Comedian

Ask then

Sociopath changed nickname to Jimin hyung*

Lol

Jimin hyung*

First of all

How the fuck are you two able to eat that disgusting meat

Comedian

Oh so Yoongi has taken you for some lamb skewers

He must really like you;))))

Jimin hyung*

Don't do that…

Don't give me hope…

Comedian

I chuckled

But I'm serious

It's like

O u r 

Place

Did you tell him you didn't like it?

Jimin hyung*

Of course not

I wouldn't break his little heart:((

Like you did not so long ago.

Where were you then??

Comedian

I uh

Met someone

Jimin hyung*

Oh?

;)

Comedian

Chill

Nothing like that

Jimin hyung*

If it's nothing like 'that'

Then please tell me more;))

Who are they

Comedian

It was the guy I thought was beautiful

Jimin hyung*

Oh right you mentioned it once

He must've been really pretty if Jeon Jungkook noticed it

Comedian

Hey!

What do you mean by that

Jimin hyung*

No offence Kookie but sometimes you can be so oblivious

Not as much as Taehyung

But still

There's this girl at work

Uhhhh

Lalisa?

Comedian

Oh yeah I know her

She's cool

Jimin hyung*

'Cool'

She's fucking pretty

She was always thinking of how was she looking

(When you were around*)

Comedian

Oh

OH

Oh God

I'm a fucking idiot

Jimin hyung*

At least I didn't need to spell it out to you

Dw she got over it

Thought you were gay

Comedian

How long ago was it??

Jimin hyung*

Idk

She told me like a week ago

But the whole thing happened much earlier

So it's not fresh

Comedian

Thank God

I like her I don't want things to be weird between us…

Jimin hyung*

My point is

You're blind

Have you ever liked a girl before??

Comedian

Obviously

There's a lot of pretty girls

You don't understand a cis-hetero mind

Jimin hyung*

Maybe

I don't really have anyone in my friend circle that's hetero lol

Except you

And maybe Namjoon but we don't know each other that well

Comedian

See?

But even Namjoon thought he was beautiful

Jimin hyung*

Oh, so you have a photo?

Show me!!

Comedian

I don't

Jimin hyung*

Pity

I wanted to know what your type is:(

Comedian

I don't have a type

Jimin hyung*

But you thought he was beautiful!!

So he's your type

Like

'He'

That one guy 

Comedian

I see

Jimin hyung*

Wow you really don't like when someone implies you not being 100% straight

Comedian

It's not like that

But I can see how it looks to you:(

I have nothing against it

Jimin hyung*

I know Kookie

It's ok

Forgive me for asking, but uh

Were you bullied at school?

Comedian

That's so out of the blue

No, I wasn't

Jimin hyung*

Are your parents tolerant then?

Comedian

Not really

They aren't that bad tho

But I had to keep Yoongi hyung's orientation a secret only so I could live with him

Jimin hyung*

That's messed up

Comedian

Nah I learned to live with it

Jimin hyung*

Uhm

Okay back to the topic!!

I have a new mission

My top priority is Min Yoongi ofc

But you come next

Comedian

Me?

Jimin hyung*

Yes

We're friends so you need to embrace the rainbow

I'm going to teach you the gay ways

Cause idk I feel there's something else...

I don't know how to say it

Nvm

Comedian

No thank you

You just want to know my type

Jimin hyung*

So you're saying you do have one!

Comedian

It's like you said

It's just him

I'm curious tho nothing more

Jimin hyung*

It always starts out like that

Okay Im sorry

But we need to have a talk about sexuality someday

Nothing is b&w

Comedian

Please intoxicate me for this

Jimin hyung*

You don't want to be drunk with me

Comedian

I just remembered the angryjin chat

You're right

Jimin hyung*

;))

18.47

Jimin hyung*

Okay your training starts now

What do you think of him

Comedian

He's a man

Wait 

I think I know him

Jimin hyung*

Well obviously

He's the best Dance major

Lee Taemin

Comedian

Oooh right!

I think I talked with him once or twice

He wanted me to transfer there

Jimin hyung*

WHAT

HE OFFERED YOU

A PLACE HERE

AND YOU REFUSED???

LEE TAEMIN GAVE YOU AN OFFER-

You know what nevermind

I haven't meant if you knew him

I want to know your thoughts on his appearance

Comedian

His skin is really smooth

Jimin hyung*

That's everything???

Wow

He was my crush!!

He's one of the most perfect men on this planet

Talented, beautiful, sexy as fuck while dancing

Comedian

Didn't need the last part

Jimin hyung*

Okay so maybe you don't like the sexy type

And cute too

Comedian

Why are we looking for my type…

Jimin hyung*

I'm hoping to get a clue how could that guy look like

Comedian

But why are you stating that I don't like cute types

Jimin hyung*

You would've said something about Hobi

Comedian

He's my manager…

OUR manager

Jimin hyung*

He was my friend before the promotion!!

Maybe you like half/half type

Okay this will be really weird and kinda creepy

Comedian

What the fuck are you trying to do

Jimin hyung*

I will send you 2pics of my friend

The one I'm always talking about

Taehyung

Comedian

Mhm please continue

Jimin hyung*

1st one will be just some regular cute photos he sends me

But the second,,,

I'M NOT INTO HIM

HE'S MY BROTHER/SOULMATE/BFF

It's blackmail material

Because he gets shy when I show it to people

Comedian

He who excuses himself, accuses himself

Jimin hyung*

Haha very funny.

He said he wants to grow his hair again and I'm honestly scared

Comedian

Ok

Jimin hyung*

You're no fun:((

Jimin hyung* changed Comedian 's nickname to No fun

No fun

Okay I asked for it

Jimin hyung*

Here is the next

As I said

Don't judge me

No fun

I have so many questions

Why are you sending me this

Jimin hyung*

What do you think!!

No fun

I think Taehyung should be concerned that you have such photos on your phone

Also

Where did you take this???

Jimin hyung*

You're impossible

It's a long story

One day I shall tell you about it

No fun

Um ok?

[ Agent B & Agent J ]

18.59

Agent J

You wanted to see Taehyung

Agent B

Tru dat

Agent J

Jimin has blessed me with 2 pics

I almost wrote something stupid

But remembered this is not a verbal conversation and I can actually think before saying anything lol

Agent B

Cool

Show me the pics

Agent J

One's cute

And the second is… wow

Agent B

Fuck the cute one

I need a pic that'll punch me in the face

So show me

Agent J

I'll show you…

 

 

Agent B

Oh shit

Hot damn

So you're sure you're not gay?

Agent J

Yes

Agent B

Your loss

He single?

Agent J

BAMBAM

Agent B

What

You aren't interested

And that guy?

I can call him daddy

Agent J

My eyes

My poor eyes

Why would you do this to me?

Agent B

I'd say Im joking

But Im not

Agent J

Jesus Christ

Agent B

Damn Kook

You have EXTREMELY good taste tho

Agent J

FFS

IT'S ONLY HIM

THE ONLY MAN I'D SAY IS HOT AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME

Agent B

Oh so you're actually acknowledging that he's attractive to you?

Interesting

Agent J

FUCK YOU

THAT'S NOT TRUE

FUCK I PLAYED MYSELF

JDJXJWJXJSKS

 

[ '97 liners ]

19.18

Ok Boomer: GUYS JUNGKOOK IS OFFICIALLY 5% GAY

 

IronBitch: NO I'M NOT

 

Goblin: But we already knew that

 

Ok Boomer: That's impossible it happened just a second ago

 

Jaebae: No man who has his room filled with Gdragon's posters cannot be at least a little bit gay

 

IronBitch: Wow thanks guys:)))

 

Se8en: Bambam said the obvious

Se8en: But why 😗

 

Ok Boomer: Excellent question Minghao

Ok Boomer: Jungkook forwarded pic of Taehyung

Ok Boomer: Remember when y'all laughed at Kook only cause he thought some guy was beautiful

 

Jaebae: Of course we do 

Jaebae: He must've met a god if he thought that

 

IronBitch: Ha ha

 

Ok Boomer: Yeah well I saw the pic

Ok Boomer: And fuck me, he's otherworldly

 

Se8en: What 😧

 

McGayver: Send it to us!!

 

Ok Boomer: As much as I want to

Ok Boomer: I won't risk my life

 

Se8en: 😓

 

Ok Boomer: But trust me when I say this

Ok Boomer: Jungkook wasn't joking

Ok Boomer: Even the biggest homophobe would smash

 

Jaebae: BAMBAM

 

IronBitch: BAMBAM

 

Ok Boomer: It's true

Ok Boomer: Anyway after a minute of me thinking about…Things… Jungkook said:

Ok Boomer: 'THE ONLY MAN I'D SAY IS HOT AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME'

Ok Boomer: Word by word

 

Goblin: Oh snap

Goblin: I'll tell this to my grandchildren one day

Goblin: How did Jungkookie get the photo tho

 

Ok Boomer: Park Jimin everyone

Ok Boomer: Let's all thank him on yoonmin's wedding

 

Goblin: Why wait?

Goblin: Let's visit him at work

 

Ok Boomer: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA

 

IronBitch: SEOKMIN DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM

 

Goblin: Sorry not sorry 😚

 

Jaebae: Hey Kook

Jaebae: Can you send us Jimin's photo

Jaebae: I think I know him from somewhere

 

IronBitch: Please don't

IronBitch: Ughhh give me a sec

 

McGayver: While Jungkook's away

McGayver: Does anyone know where Dongmin is

McGayver: He took my bag… again

 

Se8en: @BigBrain

 

Jaebae: Probably out with others

Jaebae: They are directing a play

 

McGayver: Do you know where

 

Jaebae: Priv

 

McGayver: Ok

 

IronBitch: I asked Jimin to send a selca

IronBitch: After endless teasing he finally did it

IronBitch:

IronBitch: He told me to write #nomakeup as well

 

Se8en: He's cute!!

 

Goblin: He totally looks like Yoongi's type

 

IronBitch: He really does…

 

Jaebae: Mhmm I recognize him

Jaebae: I sometimes have dance classes with him

 

IronBitch: Normally I'd be devastated but honestly that's good

 

Se8en: About that

Se8en: What is the next step

 

IronBitch: Idk

IronBitch: I think we should slow down now

 

Goblin: Are you crazy???

 

IronBitch: No, but listen

IronBitch: Rn we should focus on making them pass each other on multiple occasions

IronBitch: Yoongi hyung would probably notice how Jimin becomes a part of his life or smth like this

 

Jaebae: Oooh I see

Jaebae: He'll be like 'oh hi jiminie, didn't expect you to be here'

 

Ok Boomer: Damn straight

 

Se8en: If Jaehyung knows Jimin too he should help Kookie with him

 

Jaebae: We could do that yes

 

Goblin:

 

[ McGang ]

19.42

Jeon Jungkook: Someone put a lot of mouse traps outside the back door

 

Jung Hoseok: What?

 

Jeon Jungkook: I was going home

Jeon Jungkook: Through the back door

Jeon Jungkook: McDonald's I mean

Jeon Jungkook: And suddenly I felt pain in my right foot 

Jeon Jungkook: I looked down and saw the ground was filled with mouse traps

 

Jung Hoseok: Fucking Subway

 

Park Jimin: Calm down tiger

 

Jung Hoseok: They're trying to kill us!

 

Jeon Jungkook: Hoseok-ssi I'm pretty sure traps designed to kill mouses won't kill a human being

 

Jung Hoseok: How about your toes then?

 

Jeon Jungkook: My shoes minimized the damage

 

Park Jimin: Can I retaliate???

 

Jung Hoseok: The floor is yours

 

Park Jimin: Jungkook, let's meet tomorrow at 3am

Park Jimin: We'll need to catch a lot of pigeons

 

Jeon Jungkook: Uh, why?

 

Park Jimin: We're going to give someone a stroke;)

 

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

7.30

Lord Yoongi: jungkook woke me up to drive him to class so I might as well ask you something

Lord Yoongi: how do you tell a girl you dont want to go out with her

Lord Yoongi: she knows im bi so i cant play the gay card

Lord Yoongi: also

 

Lord Yoongi has changed the group's chat name to Min Kingdom

 

Bookjoon: Just…tell her you don't want to?

 

Lord Yoongi: i cant

Lord Yoongi: already agreed

 

Bookjoon: I don't understand

 

Lord Yoongi: i was writing a song

Lord Yoongi: said something like "yeah sure" so she would go away

 

Bookjoon: You should start carrying a sign "I'm in the middle of the creative process, my hearing abilities tune down to zero"

 

Lord Yoongi: i think 'deaf while busy' would be better

 

Bookjoon: You and your laconic wording…

Bookjoon: At least your songs are amazing

 

Lord Yoongi: thank you

 

Bookjoon: Hmm, how much do you care about being nice?

 

Lord Yoongi: not at all but shes in my group project so id prefer if she didnt try to sabotage me

 

Bookjoon: Smart

McKookie is online

McKookie: Yoongi hyung why is my room locked

McKookie: I can't get out

 

Lord Yoongi: ill let you out once you tell me everything that happened between you and hoseok

 

McKookie: Hyung I'm going to be late

 

Lord Yoongi: oh no;(

 

McKookie:

McKookie: Fine

McKookie: Priv

 

[ ChimChim & TaeTae ]

9.00

TaeTae

Omg Jiminie

Listen to this

So I'm at these extra photo classes

Professor tells me everything I need to know

(And if I'll do good I can help them out more often!)

Anyway

Today everyone has a different concept to focus on

Everything's focused on the body though

Like that guy Minghao has to focus on lips

I'm having someone putting makeup on me and it's so fun!!

But I'm getting off track

So it's idk 8.30am

And someone slams the door open

Professor sighs dramatically

And who do I see?

John!!

I didn't know he was a student!

And what's more, one of the best photography student!!

He totally freaked out when he saw me

It was really cute ahaha

I didn't have the time to talk with him yet

But I heard from Minghao that he'll be focusing on eyes

11.48

ChimChim

Omg

Tae!! Talk to him you idiot

And use your powers, if he's here then Jungkook should be somewhere nearby

He's taking the classes too

I was going to introduce you to him, but if you can do it irl then it's even better

TaeTae

Oof

I'm not sure if I can

He's really awkward

He was telling me about his concept

But half of it was anxious mutter

ChimChim

Aish

Then maybe they don't know each other that well

I mean,,,

Jungkook's a talking back brat

And he won't call me hyung!!:(((

TaeTae

Lol

It's not like people call you hyung

ChimChim

Yeah well Yeonjun calls me hyung!

TaeTae

But Yeonjun's your cousin

That doesn't count

Oh

ChimChim

Hm?

TaeTae

Baldhead sent a text

Ewwww

He has such weird requests…

ChimChim

Uhm, Tae

Maybe you should stop?

You can find someone else

He seems to be more of a creep than a loser

TaeTae

But he's a rich creep

I feel awful for burning down Jin's kitchen..

I mean it's not so bad

He did ask for nudes several times

But I answered how you've told me to

ChimChim

I'd have asked what are you going to send

But I'm honestly scared

TaeTae

Yeah it's disgusting

I'm starting to feel uncomfortable

I know it's just a matter of time before he'll want more

ChimChim

Dw you'll tell him to go fuck himself

Ta-dah

TaeTae

Clever

Okay I'll get going

ChimChim

Wait!

Before you go

Do you want to go to the movies with me??

TaeTae

When

ChimChim

Today!

TaeTae

Sorry Jiminie

I can't:(

ChimChim

Oh okay:(

TaeTae

Also, I'll be staying at Bogum's place tonight

So don't worry abt me

I really have to go now

John's about to start his shoot

ChimChim

Have fun

TaeTae

💜

[ Min Kingdom ]

12.02

Fairy: Anybody wants to go to the movies?

 

Lord Yoongi: i do

 

Fairy: Well that was fast

Fairy: But Hyung, I'm not sure you'll like it,,,,

Bookjoon is online

Lord Yoongi: what is it

 

Fairy: Frozen II

 

Lord Yoongi: nvm i dont want to

 

Bookjoon: So you want to have that date?

 

Lord Yoongi: fuck

Lord Yoongi: okay when do you want to meet up

 

Fairy: When do you finish work?

 

Lord Yoongi: 2pm

 

Fairy: Movie starts at 4pm

 

Lord Yoongi: we can make it

 

Fairy: Okay!!! See you then hyungie!

 

[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

12.31

Min Yoongi

uh

jimin

Park Jimin

Yes Hyung?

Min Yoongi

i texted the girl that our plans are cancelled

told her i was supposed to go with you but forgot

and she said that uh

"dammit he was faster"

i asked her what did she mean by that

"youre going on a date with him arent you?"

Park Jimin

Fuck

Did she tell you anything else?

Min Yoongi

she noticed how confused i was

apparently her friend knows you

and apparently its "pretty obvious" that you like me

Park Jimin

Ughhh that's why I don't like girls

You weren't supposed to find out this way

Min Yoongi

so its true

Park Jimin

...Yes

It's not like I was trying to hide it..

Min Yoongi

i guess so

Park Jimin

I really like you

And it's not a recent crush

I liked you before Jungkook properly introduced me to you

It's fine if you want to cancel

Min Yoongi

we still can go

i dont like you

i mean

not in that way

i treat you as a friend

Park Jimin

It's fine Hyung, I understand lol

I'll still be sad though haha

Min Yoongi

eh

i wish i hadnt know

Park Jimin

You can't force feelings anyway

I'll get over it

Min Yoongi

i hope so

you really couldve chosen someone better lol

Park Jimin

Yah

Don't talk yourself down

You're fucking amazing and I'll make sure you start thinking the same

Min Yoongi

impossible to achieve

seriously you are friends with jungkook

hes a solid 9 while im somewhere between 3-4

Park Jimin

Woah

Now I'm angry

Solid 9????

If he's a 9 then you have to be at least an 11

Min Yoongi

lol youre generous

Park Jimin

Im fucking serious you're so handsome

I'd say you're sexier than Taemin but yeah that would've been a lie

Min Yoongi

yeah taemins hot af

Park Jimin

Are we seriously gonna bond over our thirst for Taemin?

Min Yoongi

i mean

if you want to?

Park Jimin

Fuck yes

[ Hoes ]

14.00

Babyboy: Aaaaaa guuuysss

Babyboy: I LOVE these people

Babyboy: They said I can help them out every week!!

Babyboy: Together with someone named Hyungwon

 

Gray: That's great!💜

Gray: Tell us more!

 

Babyboy: Okay so John was there

Babyboy: And his photos!! Are!! Amazing!!

Babyboy: I've copied everyone's but I liked his the best

Babyboy: Look

Babyboy:

 

Hoesok: I kinda ship it

 

Gray: Woah Tae you look 100 times better here

 

Babyboy: Thanks hyung

Babyboy: Idk he isn't my type lol

Babyboy: Also he fled the moment the classes had ended

 

Hoesok: Omg

 

Gray: At least he's good at taking photos

 

Babyboy: Still not interested

Babyboy: I have more pressing matters rn

Babyboy: Like 

Babyboy: The baldhead wanting to be my sugar daddy😫

 

Gray: WHAT?

 

Hoesok: Oh shit

Hoesok: Did you agree

 

Babyboy: Not yet

Babyboy: I feel like this guy's bad news

Babyboy: And well he expects to meet

Babyboy: And have sex

 

Gray: No

Gray: Absolutely no

Gray: You won't be sleeping with some bald old creep

 

Babyboy: I've never intended to

 

Hoesok: Tell him it's over then

 

Babyboy: But…

 

Gray: What now

Gray: You can earn your pocket money somewhere else

 

Babyboy: It's not for me!

Babyboy: I still don't have enough to cover for your kitchen hyung

 

Gray: Oh…

Gray: I really want my kitchen back…

Gray: But your safety is more important

 

Hoesok: That's sweet

Hoesok: Tae, just tell him to wire you some money and never show up to the meeting

 

Gray: What the fuck Hoseok

Gray: What if he'll see him one day and attack him???

 

Babyboy: Chill

Babyboy: I wrote him a long message declaring my abstinence from sex

Babyboy: And that if he wants I can still send him pics and whatnot but nothing more

 

Hoesok: Tell us later what happened next

 

Babyboy: Okie

 

[ '97 liners ]

14.00

Se8en: You know I like Jungkookie very much

Se8en: Please read this fast

Se8en: I'm not admin here

Se8en: I need to finish before Kookie sees😫

 

McGayver: We know

 

BigBrain: Yes, continue

 

Se8en: I know how Taehyung looks like

 

BigBrain: Jungkook's Taehyung?

Goblin is online

Se8en: Yes!!

Se8en: He was modelling for us today

Se8en: I didn't notice at first

Se8en: But he called Jungkook "John" 

Se8en: And I did everything I could to not laugh

 

BigBrain: Wait wait wait

BigBrain: If he was modelling for your class

BigBrain: Does that mean…?

 

Se8en: Yes!!

Se8en: Ladies and Gentlemen

 

Goblin: @Patissier I'm using my 'one mention a month' privilege

IronBitch is online

McGayver: FASTER MINGHAO

Patissier is online

IronBitch: What is happening?

IronBitch: MINGHAO NO

 

Goblin: MINGHAO YES

 

Se8en:

Se8en: He made Jungkook 5% gay

 

McGayver: Daddy 😫

 

Patissier: Damn

Patissier is offline

Goblin: At least he wrote something

Goblin: And it was the truth cause HOT DAMN

 

IronBitch: I'm going to ban your ass

IronBitch: No, that wouldn't affect you that much

IronBitch: Next time I see Junhui I'll make sure he won't look at you the same way anymore

 

Se8en: !!! You wouldn't dare!😣

 

IronBitch: Or would I?

 

BigBrain: Calm down Kookie

BigBrain: We have big news for you

 

McGayver: I just want to say that I've met him several days ago

McGayver: When I had to swap my bags with Dongmin

 

BigBrain: Yes he's my hyung

 

IronBitch: What

 

Goblin: What

 

BigBrain: He's on Acting major

BigBrain: Just like me and Junhui

 

Se8en: Odbxkazecb

 

IronBitch: Oh

 

Goblin: Tell us somethin spicy 

 

BigBrain: Idk there's not much to say

 

McGayver: Except him being a total 10/10

McGayver: Jungkook let me get him

McGayver: I'm definitely better than BamBam

 

IronBitch: You're all disgusting

IronBitch: Do what you want

IronBitch: But Mingyu

 

McGayver: Yes?

 

IronBitch: You rat me out? It won't be pretty

 

Se8en: Scary 😣

 

[ Hoes ]

16.17

Babyboy: Omggg

Babyboy: He's threatening me???

 

Gray: What??

 

Hoesok: That creep?

 

Babyboy: Yes

Babyboy: He's saying I betrayed his trust and played with his feelings???

Babyboy: And he's going to make sure I won't do this again

 

Hoesok: Uh he seems dangerous…

 

Babyboy: Dw I'm not scared of him

Babyboy: He may be a creep, but he's the one who wanted a pic of my belly because he wanted to 'caress it'

 

Hoesok: Ew ew ew why would you tell us that

 

Gray: Lmaooo what a pussy

Gray: Yeah he'll probably beg you to come back in a week

 

Babyboy: Haha

Babyboy: It's still creepy tho:(

 

Gray: Don't worry Tae

Gray: You said he has connections

Gray: In that case he wouldn't do anything bad to you

Gray: He has a reputation to maintain

 

Hoesok: Or more tools to make you disappear

 

Gray: Hoseok

Gray: Shut the fuck up

 

Hoesok: Yes sorry

Hoesok: Btw

Hoesok: The ice cream machine didn't break once in the last month!

 

Babyboy: Wow Hobi hyung!!! Congrats!

 

Gray: You caught the culprit? Congratulations

 

Hoesok: No, but maybe they saw how devastated I was and felt bad so they stopped!

 

Gray: And pity saved you again

 

Hoesok: As long as it works!!

 

[ Min Kingdom ]

18.02

Bookjoon: Storytime

Bookjoon: Jimin has called Seokjin hyung while crying

Bookjoon: He was petrified and ready to kill Yoongi hyung for hurting his baby

 

McKookie: Jimin =/= baby

 

Bookjoon: So we're on our way to pick them up from the movies

 

McKookie: And what are you doing there?

 

Bookjoon: Oh I was hanging out with hyung 

Bookjoon: We got some coffee and he was helping me with my studies:)

 

McKookie: Aren't you studying English

McKookie: Seokjin hyung is like the last person you should've asked for help in this field

Hobi is online

Bookjoon: At least I had a good time

Bookjoon: But back to the topic 

Bookjoon: Hyung was trying to discover why Jimin was crying so much

Bookjoon: And I'm worried about Yoongi hyung

Bookjoon: I mean, we still don't know what happened and neither of them is answering our messages

 

McKookie: Keep us updated

 

Bookjoon: I will

 

Hobi: It's probably bc of Frozen II

Hobi: Have you ever heard Show Yourself?

 

McKookie: Come on, Jimin wouldn't cry because of a kid's film

18.20

Bookjoon: They're crying because of Frozen II

 

McKookie: What

 

Hobi: Told ya

 

McKookie: I need more information

McKookie: What do you mean 'they'

 

Hobi: Omg I haven't noticed

Hobi: Yoongi hyung is capable of crying???

 

Bookjoon: Okay so Seokjin hyung is taking care of the situation

Bookjoon: Basically we found them hugging each other in the best-hidden corner in the mall

Bookjoon: Jimin's eyes are totally swollen and he looks like he's been crying for ages

Bookjoon: Yoongi hyung is crying too

 

Hobi: OMG HOW

 

Bookjoon: He's completely silent, his shoulders are trembling a little and tears are streaming down his face

 

McKookie: What the fuck is this movie about

 

Hobi: I mean

Hobi: Everyone finally fights their inner demons

Hobi: It's pretty intense

 

McKookie: It's a kid's film

McKookie: It's made for kids

 

Hobi: I'm just saying~

Hobi: It made my heart crack into a million pieces and then pieced it back together

 

Bookjoon: Jimin's crying because of what Hoseok said

Bookjoon: Yoongi muttered something like "into the unknown"????

Bookjoon: Oh wait he just said that his ears were blessed by the angelic voice of Brendon Urie

 

McKookie: I still need more context

 

Hobi: You know what Kookie, pack your bags

Hobi: We're going to see Frozen II

 

McKookie: Sure

McKookie: If you're willing to pay then let's do this

McKookie: I need to see what's the whole concoction about

21.39

McKookie: I'm dead inside

 

Hobi: It broke him

 

Fairy: And who's laughing now huh?

 

Lord Yoongi: please dont talk about it

Lord Yoongi: my heart wont take no more

 

Fairy: I mean, I'm already crying just thinking about it

 

Seokjinnie: I just want to say that I had to pry Jimin off Yoongi's hands

Seokjinnie: I just wanted to see if they were injured in any way

 

Lord Yoongi: only our hearts were

 

Fairy: God and when Anna sang in that cave???

 

Lord Yoongi: jiminie please

Lord Yoongi: it gave me a will to live

 

Seokjinnie: Okay stop it

Seokjinnie: I don't want you two to cry again

 

Bookjoon: Especially you Yoongi hyung

Bookjoon: It feels wrong

 

Lord Yoongi: i know its totally out of character

 

Bookjoon: Whatever you say

 

Seokjinnie: Uhm, @McKookie are you sure you're alright? You've been quiet

 

McKookie: I'm not

McKookie: There are too many emotions in my body right now

McKookie: I want a hug

 

Hobi: We can hug on our drive home if you're fine with it? I'm getting uber

 

Seokjinnie: Everyone this is an important moment

 

Bookjoon: What will Jungkookie say

 

McKookie: You know what fuck you guys

McKookie: I'm dead and tired

McKookie: Yes hyung let's hug the hell out of each other

 

Hobi: Aaaaaa!! Yes!!!

 

Bookjoon: They grow up so fast

 

Seokjinnie: I know…. Also Hobi please punch Jungkook for swearing so much

 

McKookie: I just called you hyung you wouldn't do this

McKookie: HE DID IT

McKookie: IT HURT WTF

 

Lord Yoongi: Revenge for your punch back then

 

McKookie: Thanks guys:)))

 

[ Park Jimin & Vante ]

22.30

Vante

Jiminie it's me, Tae

Park Jimin

I know what your fake is called like

I was literally using it before you finally changed the password to something good

Vante

Right lol

Park Jimin

Why are you using it to message me tho

Vante

Yeah well

The threats were real

BUT

Nothing scary I swear

He really isn't dangerous

He banned my ass lol

Park Jimin

What?

Vante

Idk I was trying to log in but couldn't

And I found out my account was banned

They didn't give me any reason tho so I guess it's his 'connections'

I already wrote them to review the situation

But you know how it is

Park Jimin

Jesus

I don't know if I should laugh or not

But it's pretty fucking funny

Vante

Kinda

Can you add me to Hoes?

Park Jimin

Of course!!

Wait a sec

[ Hoes ]

22.39

Succubi added Vante to the group chat

Vante: Hi guys!!

 

Hoesok: Say what now

 

Vante: Kim Taehyung got banned ☆彡


Gray: Serves you right

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

12.20

Hoesok: Hey @Succubi how are your holding up?

 

Succubi: Sad

Succubi changed his nickname to Sad Mochi

Sad Mochi: Very sad

 

Hoesok: :(((

 

Gray: @Vante where are you when Jiminie needs you the most

 

Vante: I was at Bogum's

Vante: I'm coming back now though

Vante: Do you want anything Jiminie?

 

Sad Mochi: Ice cream

Sad Mochi: Lots of ice cream

 

Vante: On it

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

13.38

Jungleok

Hey

Bambam told me you're at the café

Yoongles

Do you really have to have your spies all over the city

Jungleok

It's his café

Yoongles

fair point

Jungleok

Are you okay?

Yoongles

idk

you knew about jimin?

Jungleok

Knew what?

Yoongles

that he likes me

Jungleok

No

I mean

Uh

Maybe?

Yoongles:

aish

Jungleok

But…

I think that somewhere deep inside you knew too

You just didn't want to admit it

Yoongles

maybe

i told him i didnt like him back

Jungleok

You did what!?

Yoongles

but i really like him as a friend

im not sure what to think now

Jungleok

Well you like him

That's a good start

Yoongles

its somehow different tho

when im with hobi i feel like i can let go of all bad things

and have fun

but when im with jimin…

its like i can feel bad and it wont change a thing

like he would still look at me like someone would look at the sun for the first time

Jungleok

Squinting and cursing out how bright it is?

Yoongles

and you ruined it

are you proud of yourself

Jungleok

A little

Honestly tho

It looks to me like you don't want to push him out of your life

Yoongles

i never said i wanted to

Jungleok

But you thought about it

Yoongles

maybe

i just dont know if im able to act like nothing has happened

Jungleok

And you don't have to

It will all resolve itself

Like it did when you went to the movies

Yoongles

i guess youre right

thank you

i still need to think about it tho

but you cleared out some things for me

Jungleok

No problem hyung:)

Yoongles

im gonna go work on some songs now

bye

Jungleok

Good luck!

[ Jimin hyung* & No fun ]

13.51

No fun

How are you feeling?

Jimin hyung*

Bad

And bad that I feel bad

No fun

:((

I bring good news though!

Yoongi hyung will like like you

Jimin hyung*

Real mature

No fun

Ugh

HYUNG

YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE

Jimin hyung*

Wait

Did you just call me hyung?

No fun

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Jimin hyung*

I don't-

What?

No fun

Let me explain

Jimin hyung*

No

I wanted to do this much earlier

As everyone in my close friend circle knows about our conspiracy-

I want to add you to our gc

No fun

I'm honored

I'm bad with strangers tho..

Jimin hyung*

You know more than a half of them

It's fine

No fun

Jimin wait, I don't think it's a good plan

 

[ Hoes ]

13.59

Sad Mochi added Jeon Jungkook to the group chat

Sad Mochi set Jeon Jungkook 's nickname to 

5% Gay

 

5% Gay: Aaaand he did it

5% Gay: Honestly Jimin

5% Gay: Why do I even bother

 

Sad Mochi: Because you have a soft spot for me💜

 

Gray: Jungkook??? What are you doing here

 

5% Gay: Hi…?

 

Gray: Jin hyung.

 

5% Gay: Oh, hi hyung

 

Gray: He can't be in here

Gray: We all swear all the time

Gray: And Mr. I Pay For My Mistakes with Sugar Daddy's Money talks about his disgusting adventures

 

Vante: Hey!

Vante: You wanted to know about them!

Vante: And it's already over anyway

Vante: :(

 

5% Gay: And you are?

 

Vante: Oh that's easy

 

Gray: Shut up, you don't deserve to introduce yourself

 

Vante: (-_-メ)

 

Sad Mochi: What is happening

 

Vante: Hyungie is angry at me for no reason at all

 

Gray: You wanted to sell your body to pay for my kitchen

Gray: What is wrong with you

 

Vante: You didn't have a problem with it before, even when you knew my reason!

 

Gray: Yes because I thought you were doing this as some sort of weird fetish of yours

Gray: Then you told the real reason and you texted me later that you could find someone new!

Gray: Jungkook close your eyes

 

Vante: Jungkook is old enough to witness this conversation

Vante: Right?

 

5% Gay: I'm 21

 

Vante: Oh so I'm your hyung then!! Awesome!

 

5% Gay: Lmao okay

 

Sad Mochi: He was doing this for you

Sad Mochi: What's your problem

 

Gray: I don't want him to be a prostitute just because I want him to pay me back

Gray: I'm not a gangster

Gray: I'm your fucking friend

Gray: Now you got your account banned because of me

 

Vante: Hyung come on

Vante: It's my fault

Vante: And it's not like I won't get it back

 

5% Gay: Hyung,  just say that you feel bad about this whole situation

5% Gay: It's really that easy

 

Gray: At least on this gc I can say how much I hate you

 

5% Gay: Aww

 

Sad Mochi: Adding you was so worth it

 

Vante: You're not sad anymore Jiminie?

Vante: Also, hyungie let's finish this on priv

 

Gray: Sure

 

Sad Mochi: I am, but Jungkook said I still have a chance

 

5% Gay: Yes

5% Gay: I wanted to tell him everything but he added me here…

 

Vante: Don't be too sad Jungkookie!

Vante: We can get to know each other!

Vante: Jiminie is always talking about you

 

5% Gay: He is?

 

Vante: When he's not talking about Yoongi lol

 

5% Gay: Right

 

Vante: Also I'm supposed to make you feel less awkward here! Hyung's orders (〃∇〃)

 

5% Gay: Is he using kaomojis all the time?

 

Sad Mochi: Only when he wants to seem nice

 

Vante: Yah! I am nice!

 

Gray: Keep telling that to yourself

 

5% Gay: I'm sure he's not that bad

 

Vante: Thank you💜

 

Gray: He set my kitchen on fire

 

5% Gay: What the fuck

 

[ Jeon Jungkook & Vante ]

14.17

Vante

For the record

I did it in the name of friendship

Jeon Jungkook

That's even more fucked up

Vante

Oh please like you've never done something bad for a friend

Jeon Jungkook

Hmm

I once stalked a guy with a camera

My friend had a crush on him

Vante

Omg right you're a photographer

Jeon Jungkook

Did Jimin tell you that as well?

Vante

It might've been Jinnie hyung

I'm not sure

Jeon Jungkook

I feel awkward

Hyung

Tell me something about yourself

You know too much about me:(

Vante

Sure!!

I'm studying acting and I'll be in this year's Christmas play! (If you would like to see it)

Jeon Jungkook

I was going anyway

My friend Dongmin is going to act in it too

Vante

Dongmin… I know this name from somewhere

Whatever, it'll get to me

So hmm what else

I like to sing but it's just for fun so it's nothing amazing lol

I also love talking to people!!

Jeon Jungkook

I noticed

Vante

Do you like to play games?

Jeon Jungkook

Do I like to play ga- 

I do!

Vante

Do you happen to maybe play Overwatch by any chance???

Jeon Jungkook

Yes!!

Vante

OMG

YES!!

I'll finally have someone to play with!!

Omg Jungkookie that's awesome!

What are you doing rn

Jeon Jungkook

Tbh nothing

Yoongi hyung ran away to compose by himself

So I'm pretty much bored

Vante

Then let's play now!

Jiminie is busy with watching romcoms so I'm free ٩(๑´3`๑)۶

Jeon Jungkook

Okay let's do this

 

[ Muscle Baby & Jin ]

15.29

Jin

You two have been quiet 

Did something happen?

You were supposed to tell us something about Yoongi, you brat

Muscle Baby

Omg I'm sorry

We started playing overwatch

Jin

I don't even know what that means

Muscle Baby

It's an online game you old man

Jin

I don't need to play games to feel entertained

I'm a higher being

Obviously with that face I couldn't have been possibly made human

Muscle Baby

Well, alien hyung

We really hit it off

Games connect people

Jin

I'm glad

Honestly he can be so weird sometimes

I was worried that after Jimin has added you, you'd start to hate on him or smth

Muscle Baby

Omg I'm not Jimin

I wouldn't do that

Purposely

Jin

Lol okay

Tell us the story now

Muscle Baby

Okayyy

 

[ Hoes ]

15.34

5% Gay: So I was talking with Yoongi hyung

5% Gay: And he obviously likes Jimin very much

5% Gay: I don't want him to feel pressured or anything

5% Gay: But we NEED to get them together

 

Gray: Tbh I'm not mad anymore about Kookie being here

Gray: Now I can unleash the drama queen side in him

 

Sad Mochi: And you couldn't before?

 

Gray: No, I have to act like a decent human being in front of Namjoon

 

Vante: I mean

Vante: He knows you're the worst

 

Gray: Woah thank you so much:))

 

5% Gay: He's not wrong tho

5% Gay: Namjoon hyung knows you're one of the worst scums on earth

5% Gay: ...hyung

 

Gray: Jimin kick him out

 

Sad Mochi: Ahahaha I would never

Sad Mochi: We got a little side tracked though

Sad Mochi: What did Yoongi hyung exactly say about me?

 

5% Gay: Uhhh

5% Gay: Something that he feels bad around you and it's fine

 

Vante: What the fuck

 

5% Gay: No no no

5% Gay: Let me rephrase that (copy his text)

5% Gay: "its like i can feel bad and it wont change a thing" "like he would still look at me like someone would look at the sun for the first time"

 

Gray: Squinting and couldn't bearing to look at it?

 

5% Gay: EXACTLY MY WORDS

 

Sad Mochi: Omg this is so sweeeet

 

Vante: Awww

 

5% Gay: You two are weird

 

Vante: At least we have each other (´ε` )

 

Sad Mochi: Jungkook's jealous don't worry about him

 

5% Gay: I don't have anything to be jealous about

 

Vante: It's fine Jungkookie, I would be jealous to have a friendship like ours too:))

 

Gray: Okay stop before I'll go insane

 

Sad Mochi: Anyway

Sad Mochi: Let's take things slow now

Sad Mochi: I guess he's feeling a little overwhelmed rn

Hoesok is online

Gray: Hoseok finally

Gray: Where have you been

 

Hoesok: Work called

 

5% Gay:

5% Gay: Is there anyone else I don't know about?

 

Gray: Nah we're all here now

Gray: That's Jungkook btw

 

Hoesok: Hi Kookie!

 

5% Gay: Hi hyung

 

Hoesok: 💜💜💜

 

Sad Mochi: Why had they bothered you on Sunday

 

Hoesok: They hired someone new

Hoesok: I was supposed to have tomorrow off, but I've got asked to give him an orientation

 

5% Gay: Him?

 

Hoesok: Yes

Hoesok: His name is Byun Baekhyun?

 

Gray: Hmmm

Gray: Wasn't he going to be a fashion designer or something

 

Vante: What

 

Gray: Right you don't know him

Gray: He already graduated, but BACK IN MY DAY

Gray: He was pretty popular around the campus

 

Vante: Hyung I'm quite sure you two were/are attending different unis

 

Gray: Yes I'm at the boring uni

Gray: That's why we know all the gossips from yours

 

Sad Mochi: That sounds more likely

 

5% Gay: So his plans flopped and now he's joining us?

 

Sad Mochi: Kinda sad when you think abt it

 

Hoesok: The more the merrier

Hoesok: I'm just hoping he's not a sociopath

Hoesok: @Gray anything you wanna tell us?

 

Gray: He's sweet don't worry

Gray: I've never talked to him but you should be fine

 

Hoesok: Okay

Hoesok: Thanks!!

 

[ Agent B & Agent J ]

15.38

Agent B

So youre telling me that you have a new friend

And you don't even know his name

Agent J

Yes

Agent B

Then ask him???

Agent J

It's too late now, it'll be too awkward…

Plus

God this will sound weird

I  t h i n k  I know his name

At this moment I'm just pushing the thought out of my mind

Agent B

What do you mean

Agent J

Bam… think for a second

He's VERY eager

Acting major

Lives with Jimin

Knows Seokjin hyung

And he and Jimin mentioned their fantastic friendship

Agent B

Whaa but Jimin already has a platonic soulmate

Oh

OOOOOOH

OMG IT'S TAEHYUNG?

Agent J

NO

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT

I won't be able to text him if it's true

Agent B

COME ON

IT'S A PERFECT CHANCE

I'm foreshadowing it

You'll fall in love

Idc if you're not gay

Agent J

Jejzkwjzks

I'm leaving

[ BamBam & Jiminie ]

15.45

BamBam

Jiminie I need you to send me something real quick

Jiminie

I won't send you anything weird for free

BamBam

I need a pic of your friend

Jiminie

Oh okay

Which friend

BamBam

You're not even asking me why?

Jiminie

I have very attractive friends

Also Jungkook asked me for selca the other day

So you're probably doing a ranking or a list or smth on your little group chat

BamBam

Sure why not lol

I don't know his name

BUT

I know he lives with you

Jiminie

Oh so you mean Tae

I actually sent Jungkook some of his pics lol

BamBam

Huh;);)

So… Tae?

Jiminie

Yeah Taehyung

You want a date with him?

BamBam

You know what

Yes

Jiminie

Let me ask him

BamBam

I can't believe I'm actually doing this

Jiminie

Lol don't worry

He's awesome

And said yes!!

You're gonna love him

BamBam

Why are you pushing this tho

I thought you'd be more protective

Jiminie

Idk

Tae loves people

Like

LOVES

He was going on a lot of dates in the past

But most ended with him wanting to stay friends

BamBam

Oof

He's gonna friendzone me isn't he

Jiminie

Probably

It's like he can't fall in love because he just loves everyone equally

BamBam

What a weirdo lol

Jiminie

Don't call him that.

He's not weird

BamBam

Chill Jiminie

I didn't mean it like a bad thing

Jiminie

Still

BamBam

Okay I'm sorry

Jiminie

Alright

You can meet at your café tomorrow

He's excited you're the owner lol

BamBam

Cute

[ Agent B & Agent J ]

15.53

Agent B

Hey Kook

You free tomorrow at 5

?

Agent J

Yes

Why

Agent B

Meet me at the café

I need your help with something

Agent J

Okay

How important it is?

Agent B

VERY important

It can change our loves

Lives* lol

Agent J

I'm scared

Agent B

Fear not for I will be there

Agent J

Yeah, point proven

Um

Bambam?

Agent B

Sup?

Agent J

Or nevermind

Agent B

Don't pull that ‘nevermind’ trick on me

What's going on

Agent J

...

Just a little stressed

Agent B

Do you want to tell me why?

Agent J

My parents

They're gonna call me tonight

Agent B

Oof

Just tell them what they want to hear

You'll be fine

Agent J

I know

But it's frustrating  

Agent B

Bear through it

Tomorrow will reward you for sure:)

Agent J

I trust you

[ Jimin hyung* & No fun ]

18.01

Jimin hyung*

Jungkoooook

Kook

No fun

I'm facetiming my parents

What do you want

Fast

Jimin hyung*

It's timeee

No fun

It's not

Go away

Jimin hyung*

😑

I'm gonna spam your ass then

You'll read it later

No fun

Don't

I'm serious

Jimin hyung*

Yeah whatever

Just turn off the sound

No fun

I'm facetiming on the phone

Just

Be quiet

Jimin hyung*

Come on 

I'm bored

No fun

Stop

They're getting angrier cause I'm replying to you

They also heard Yoongi talk about some guy being pretty:)))

Jimin hyung*

Fuck them

(But also I hope he was talking about me)

I'm starting my monologue

No fun

You don't  know them Jimin

I haven't told you everything about them

Jimin hyung*

You aren't 5 years old you don't need to put up with them

No fun

I do

Jimin hyung*

Jeez you're annoying

No fun

I'm sorry your parents aren't as bad as mine:)))

 

[ Hoes ]

18.28

5% Gay: @Gray Could you PLEASE tell Jimin to chill

 

Gray: Jimin

Gray: Chill

 

Succubi: YOU need to chill

Succubi: I want you to feel comfortable with yourself cause it's pretty obvious there's something going on with you

 

Gray: Awwe, Jungkook he's just being a good friend:)

 

5% Gray: He's sending me tons of photos with handsome men!!

5% Gay: I didn't tell him to stop before cause I was being polite but now I did and he's still doing it!

 

Succubi: So they ARE handsome!

 

5% Gay: YOU'RE CALLING THEM THAT SO WHY WOULD I CALL THEM DIFFERENTLY

5% Gay: I'M NOT GAY, LAY OFF ME

Vante is online

Succubi: I'M NOT SAYING YOU ARE

Succubi: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM DUDE

 

5% Gay: DUDE

5% Gay: YOU'RE LITERALLY SENDING ME PICTURES OF SOME RANDOM MEN AND ASKING WHETHER I THINK THEY ARE ATTRACTIVE OR NOT

 

Vante: Can you stop screaming

 

Succubi: Right sorry

Succubi: Okay MAYBE I overdone it

Succubi: But seriously you're so turned off by a mere thought that there might be some gay cell in you it's actually sad

 

5% Gay: Yeah well you wouldn't be happy if someone had assumed you're straight

 

Vante: Kook

Vante: That's what everyone assumes

 

5% Gay: So you should understand

 

Gray: What about that guy from McDonald's

 

5% Gay: You were not invited to this conversation

 

Gray: This whole gc is revolving around me (and drama)

Gray: You have digged your own grave the moment you send the first message

 

Succubi: Yeah what about that guy

Succubi: You're not into him anymore?

 

5% Gay: It's not like that!

 

Succubi: Get over yourself BamBam sent me the receipts

 

5% Gay: What the fuck

5% Gay: How much

 

Succubi: You screaming over some pic of him

Succubi: That I didn't see

 

5% Gay: I fucking hope so, you weren't meant to

 

Succubi: Jesus you're completely missing the point

 

Vante: Guys I think it's getting a little out of control

 

Succubi: Shut up 

Succubi: The truth is Jungkook is totally gay but won't admit it 

 

5% Gay: What's your fucking problem

 

Succubi: Because of people like you there's still a "gays are cool but I'm not gay that's disgusting" thing going on

 

Vante: God can you two calm down, why are you even angry

 

5% Gay: Because Jimin's pushing his gay propaganda on me!

5% Gay: I'm NOT gay and I'll NEVER be gay

5% Gay: I'd be better off dead than being some gay guy as annoying as you Jimin

 

Vante: Oh fuck you

Vante: If you have a problem with Jimin then you are free to fucking go

 

Succubi: I appreciate the enthusiasm but I can handle myself perfectly thank you

Succubi: If you're so disgusted with me then you should've thought twice before YOU approached ME FIRST

Succubi: Most of your fucking friends are making fun of you and that's okay???

 

5% Gay: Yeah but they're are my friends

 

Succubi: Fuck you

Succubi: You know what I don't need your help with Yoongi anymore

Succubi: Pretty funny actually that the person you're living with is bisexual:)))

Succubi: Thank God you're safe from his propaganda nobody would like you to die from catching gay virus

 

5% Gay: UGHHH I didn't mean it like that!

5% Gay: I was just repeating-

5% Gay: Fuck this I don't need to explain myself to you

5% Gay: Go back to your soulmate or whatever weird thing you two are

 

Vante: Don't bring our friendship into this!

Vante: Jimin at least has someone he can be 100% open around:)))

Vante: Cause apparently you're just a homophobic bullying bitch

 

5% Gay: Oh you just outdid yourself

5% Gay: You should've used more sharp words maybe then I would be actually hurt by them

 

Vante: @Gray How the fuck are you friends with this guy

 

Gray: Tbh Jungkook you should really think about what you're doing

Gray: I know about your parents situation but you're literally pushing your frustrations on Jimin

Gray: While more than half of your friends aren't straight

 

5% Gay: I'm not sorry

 

Succubi: Then get the fuck out

Succubi: Let's vote

Succubi: Taehyung?

 

Vante: Kick him out

 

Succubi: Ok

 

Gray: What about Hoseok and I

 

Succubi: I don't care

Succubi kicked 5% Gay out from the group chat

 

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

19.12

Yoongles

i went out for a while

and now im locked out of our home

why

Jungleok

I need to be alone

and safe

Yoongles

and how will i sleep then

Jungleok

You'll figure out something

Yoongles

...

seokjin called me

told me what happened

Jungleok

The word spreads fast:)

Yoongles

you know im not good at this things

Jungleok

I know and I'm not gonna talk to you about it

Yoongles

okay

ill give you space

just promise me youll talk to namjoon later ok?

Jungleok

I'll think about it

 

[ Rapmonster & Brat ]

22.38

Brat

So

I fucked up

And I also know that...

I was friends with Taehyung

Rapmonster

I don't like the combination of 'I fucked up' and 'I was friends with'