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Bedtime Stories

Summary:

As much as Claire was the devil incarnate sometimes Dean was glad his daughter chose Claire as her best friend forever because it meant he got to interact with Cas. The man who he had an embarrassing crush on ever since Charlie’s first day at pre-school.

OR

The one where single Dad Dean hasn't gotten laid in four years and single Dad Cas suggests he try online dating to reawaken his sex drive. It sounded like a great idea, till Cas decided to ring him afterwards to hear how it went.

Notes:

My first long(ish) Destial fic.

It's sort of completed, currently coming in around 30k.

Some PSAs before we begin -

1- Charlie is Dean's kiddo in this fic.
2- I don't have kids so this is my fantasy what of four-year-olds are like.
3- The angst is super light, this is mostly a smutty/fluffy fic.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text


The decision to stop driving his daughter to and from pre-school and cut through the park was equally the best and worst decision Dean had made. It was the best decision because it meant Charlie tended to tire herself out on the playground and by the time, they got home she was practically falling asleep into her dinner. It was the worst decision because he had to pry her away from the playground on the way to pre-school in the mornings meaning they had been late on more than one occasion. This was one of those mornings.

“Charlie you little…get your butt back down here!” he shouted to his four-year-old who was running along the rope bridge in the jungle gym to get to the slide for the third time that morning.

“One more time! You promised!” she shouted back. Damn, she was right. He had promised, promised her four goes on the slide if she let him tie her red mane of hair up. She hated having her hair tied back, liked it wild and free but rules were rules apparently. Charlie had only been at the pre-school a couple of months and she’d been sent home with the clothing and hair criteria twice.

It was 8.45am. As usual, they were cutting it close. She loved it when the playground was empty, felt like her own kingdom for her to rule. If Dean wasn’t terrified of the pre-school teachers, he’d let her stay on it all day. The gravel shifted under the weight of his boots to get to her by the time she slid down. Her arms were up in the air and a loud squeal came out of her. Dean bent down and scooped her up into his arms to take her away.

“Alright, four times. You’re done kiddo.” He said defiantly. Charlie huffed into his shoulder but complied. They worked on deals, bargains, bribes and that worked both ways. He knew how to get her to do things just as she knew how to get him to do things. Charlie had Dean buying her the coconut shampoo she loved for the small price of not leaving her building bricks everywhere for him to step on. He hated coconut but it was worth it for the sake of his feet. Lego were the devils work. Two peas in a pod Dean and Charlie were.


 

By the time he planted her down onto the pre-school ground her huff was over, replaced by excitement that she was surrounded by kids her own age. A mass of four and five-year-old youngsters all screaming and squealing. Dean needed two aspirin, or two fingers of whiskey after the onslaught of that high pitch. It was 5pm, somewhere right? 

She hadn’t even said goodbye to him, too engrossed in what looked like the Tran kid’s bag pack. There were Power Rangers on it, Dean couldn’t blame her. He was about to make the walk back through the park when one of the head teachers spotted him. Crap.

“Mr. Winchester!” she shouted.

He took a deep breath, stuck a fake smile on his face and turned on his heel to greet her. He could never remember their names. He never wanted to either. There was the one with the stick up her ass, then the one with a tree stuck up hers. This was the tree one, and he’s talking a big tree, like an Oak. He was surprised she could even walk let alone make sure his four-year-old daughter tied her hair back.

“What’s up teach?” he asked.

She pursed her lips at the name. “I see you haven’t responded to the email concerning the annual Autumnal Fete bake sale.”

More like wasn’t going to.

“Right, yeah, see thing is I’m not really much of a baker and…”

Ms. Oak (her unofficial name) crossed her arms over her chest. Her pristinely starched shirt with the Little Nippers logo didn’t even budge. He could tell she didn’t interact with the kids, the too good for this place air around her made him think she didn’t even know the whole lyrics to I’ll Make a Man Out of You. Dean on the other hand, did.

“I’ve taken the liberty to email you some easier baking options, less time consuming and more reasonably priced.”

He was glad for the Autumn chill. Meant the fists he was making were hidden in his jacket pockets. The fake smile had dropped.

“Well aint that awfully nice of you.” He sucked his cheek in between his teeth. The sarcasm was lost on her. She reached out to put her twig like fingers on his shoulder. Dean had to fight the urge to shake it off and give her a piece of his mind. This was the only pre-school within a five-mile radius of his house. He wasn’t about to get Charlie kicked out because of Dean and his inability to play ball even if she was a condescending ass hat. 

“We recognise the strain you must be under as a single Father.”

Okay, we’re so done here.

He stepped back from her reach.  “I need to get going but I’ll check over that email and spruce something up for the whatever…” He waved his hand dismissively, making a bee line for the exit.

“Autumnal Fete.” She reminded him.

He left before he actually did decide to give her a piece of his mind. The sudden turn to bolt back into the park had Dean running into someone by accident, running into them with force. The guy keeled over, hand on his chest, his other still holding onto a little blonde-haired kid beside him. Dean could recognise the mass of black hair and trench coat from a mile away.

“Cas, shit man I’m so sorry.” He apologised.

 “You said a bad word.” Claire, his daughter pointed out. Dean put his hand up to his mouth. He did, he always used bad words. As much as he tried to censor himself, it was too easy for him to drop in a swear word in his language.

“It was an accident.” He tried to explain. Claire, with her set of icy blue eyes that could only match her Father’s glared at Dean for the swear word. 

“Was running into my Daddy an accident too?” she asked with a slight head tilt.

Dean really needed to sit his daughter down and ask her the reasons why she chose Claire to be her best friend in the whole wide world. The girl was full of attitude and snark. A four-year-old shouldn’t have that much sass.

“Claire be nice,” Cas rasped out. Dean had clearly winded him, his voice was deep any day of the week, but this sounded labored. The guy stood up matching Dean in height with a look of pain on his face. “Hello Dean.”

The annoyance Dean was experiencing from Ms. Oak ceased to exist when met with the face of the man who spent far too much time in Dean’s mind. As much as Claire was the devil incarnate sometimes Dean was glad his daughter chose Claire as her best friend forever because it meant he got to interact with Cas. The man who he had a seriously embarrassing crush on ever since Charlie’s first day at pre-school.

He didn’t know what it was about the guy that made his insides all gooey. Sure, he was attractive, Dean might even go as far and say hot. It was his damn sex appeal that initially caught Dean’s eye in the playground a couple of months back. His bed hair and the way his tie hung loosely around his neck that had Dean itching to grab it, pull the man into him and unchap those full lips with his tongue. Thoughts he really didn’t need to have while surrounded by a punch of kids and their parents and yet there he was, daydreaming about all the ways he could get his hands under that white shirt.

When he had arrived to pick up Charlie after her first day she was running around after a blonde-haired girl. Dean assumed she left her bag pack in the classroom till he spotted it at the foot of the man from that morning. He pushed back those encroaching fantasies to go up and meet the guy. They introduced themselves, made small talk that Dean was more than happy to go along with as Charlie ran around full of smiles and glee. It seemed Cas was too, though not much of a talker unless prompted. Dean was more than happy to prompt.

That became a usual thing then, at pick-up he’d spot Cas or Cas would spot him and they’d talk while waiting for their kids to be set free from the confines of pre-school or finish whatever game they were playing. The more they talked, the more that physical attraction became something more, something more like affection for the man. It might have been down to how much Cas was also a single Dad, how they bonded over raising unconventional daughters or that he found a parent who was kind of just making it up as he went along much like Dean. Cas wasn’t this yummy Mummy (Daddy?) with the kid’s life in a calendar, regimented with after school activities and knowing what Claire was going to be doing every day for the next 15 years of her life. 

The guy was like Dean, as long as his daughter was loved, fed, had a roof over her head and laughed more than cried he’d take that as doing a good job but yeah, easy on the eyes too.

“Yeah, Claire, do what your old man says,” Dean pointed at the youngster who decided in that moment to stick her tongue out. He returned the gesture.

Ms. Oak stood out from the gates of the pre-school.

“Plan on being on time once this week Mr. Novak?” she questioned. 

“Plan on being any less of a goat this week.” Cas mumbled under his breath.

Dean let out a burst of unexpected laughter. Cas used a variety of animals instead of swearing words to describe people who got on his nerves. It was imaginative and another reason Dean found himself completely hooked on the guy. Cas smiled quietly at Dean and it warmed his insides.

“Any time today Mr. Novak.” Ms. Oak pressed. Cas rolled his eyes, sighing audibly.

“We should…” Cas looked behind Dean towards the pre-school.

“Yeah, course, go before she bites your head off and dips it in her soy latte.” Dean stepped out of Cas and Claire’s way. He did have to get to work, already cutting it close himself.

Dean crossed the road in a hurry knowing he might have to jog some of the way back home. He hoped Bobby was too hungover to give him an ear full for being late again.


 

When Dean got back for 3pm pick up Cas was in his usual spot, two bag packs at his feet watching their daughters play hopscotch. Claire’s being the galaxy one, girl had a thing for stars and space and Charlie the sparkly fire engine red one to make her hair. Dean joined him, hands shoved in his pockets and collar up turned to stop the chill getting into him too much.

“Hey Cas.” He greeted his daughter’s best friend’s Dad. He needed a new term to call Cas, something shorter. They weren’t exactly friends, though Dean wanted to change that, but they weren’t strangers either. Acquaintances made it seem cold which was the opposite of what Dean felt when he was around the guy. Pals? Sure, Cas was Dean’s pal. Pals were a step below friends, right? He was spending far too much time debating this.

“Hello Dean.” Cas replied, he smiled at Dean. Yep, definitely not cold. He was distracted trying to figure out the shades of blue his pal had in his eyes that when a small body head butted his thigh, dangerously close to headbutting his crotch. It wouldn’t have been the first time his daughter accidentally left Dean speechless and writhing in agony.

“Hey sweetheart.” Dean put his hand over his kid’s hair. The hair-tie was gone, mane loose and to the wind. That was going to be a pain to untangle later. He just hoped she took it out recently and not actually during class hours. Dean couldn’t cope with another letter in her bag.

“Claire invited me to her birthday party, can I do please please please please.” Charlie tugged on his hand, bouncing up and down with excitement.

“Birthday party eh?” he turned to Cas who had picked up Claire and had her on his hip.

“It’s tomorrow, short notice I know but…” Cas looked through Dean, trailing off in what looked like an unpleasant memory.

“We’ll be there.” Dean cut him before he had to explain himself or lie for the sake of keeping face. Dean’s been there more than once himself. Charlie screeched in celebration. It wasn’t like they had plans anyway apart from stopping in on Sam and Amelia. They could do that on Sunday.

“It’s fancy dress. You have to dress up.” Claire said. She was still looking at him, now at his eye level being in her Dad’s arms. It made her more intimidating. 

Dean queried that to Cas. “Even the adults?”

“Yup.” Claire nodded. “Daddy is going as a…”

“A superhero hiding in plain clothes.” Cas interjected, face full of pride in his get out clause. Dean chuckled. Well played, not having to dress up and yet dressing up enough for his daughter to think he was dressing up. A win win for everyone involved. Dean might need to steal that idea too though he wasn’t opposed to dressing up. He still had his costume from Halloween in the closest. He and Charlie went as Woody and Jess from Toy Story, even brought Sam and Amelia’s dog Riot along with them trick or treating pretending he was Bullseye.

“What time you want us over at?” He picked up Charlie’s bag pack off the ground, swung it over his shoulder and lifted Charlie up too, easier to walk her over the busy road to the park. It seemed not many of the parents walked their kids to pre-school making it dangerous outside. She wrapped her little arms around his neck to hold on.

“Here I have a spare…” Cas shifted Claire onto her other hip with ease. The slight show of strength did not make Dean’s stomach tighten. Nope. Cas took a piece of paper from his coat pocket, handed it to Dean. “Claire made them.”

Dean opened up the invite that was on what looked like a page from her exercise book for class. The writing was awful, covered up with stars and love hearts with colorful crayons.

“Cool stars.” Charlie said pointing to them. Dean agreed, the stars were cool, but Dean couldn’t even read the address let alone the time. Cas plucked it from his hand, turned it over and Cas had written the details in legible writing. Time, address and his phone number.

Hello, phone number.

“Great, see you tomorrow then?” Dean slotted the invite into his back pocket.

“Yay! I’m so excited!” Charlie beamed a smile at Claire. Her hands went out to her best friend, wanting a hug goodbye. Claire did it too, nearly falling out of Cas’ arms. The Dad’s found themselves leaning in to let their daughters hug it out, making them extremely close to one another. Close enough that Dean could smell sugar off of the man, noticed gold glitter on his neck and what he seriously hoped was chocolate on his jawline. He looked up at the man, noticing his attentive eyes on him, darting over Dean’s cheeks like he hadn’t noticed Dean’s freckles till right now, joining them up one by one. The temperature suddenly got a bit too hot for Dean on this cold day and he pulled his daughter away from her best friend.

“Alright, alright, you can hug her all you want tomorrow.” He said stiffening himself back up.

“Yes, plenty of time then.” Cas agreed slightly coughing and fidgety too.

They parted ways, Cas taking Claire down the street and Dean taking Charlie into the playground to exert some energy. Dean needed to exert some too. His heart jumping too quick for his liking from just being within breathing space with Cas. What would happen if he actually hugged the guy? Have a heart attack and die at the ripe old age of 32? He needed to cool his jets before spending an entire afternoon at the guy’s house. Hopefully an hour or two in the park will knock Charlie out and she’ll be in bed by 8pm and Dean can hide himself in his room and bust a nut, or two just to be on the safe side.


 

Dean and Charlie stopped off at the toy store before heading off to Cas’ house for the birthday party. Dean had lost her twice already, once in the board games section, another in the teddy section and finally found her in the arts and crafts section. She was just so slippery sometimes and Dean was easily distracted by nostalgia, his eye-catching plastic toy soldiers and water guns that reminded him of his brother. He understood now why people kept their kids on leashes out in public. He might need to invest in one.

“Daddy, I found what I wanna get her!” The concept of saying anything without yelling also lost on her. It was either shouting at the top of her lungs or whispering, there was rarely any in between. He noticed some parents looking at him like did he really leave a four-year-old unattended? What kind of Father was he? He hated the stares and yes, he was well aware he was reading too much into them. A single Dad came with some serious baggage attached to it and he was still working his way through it. The toothy smile of Charlie in her knight in shining armor costume made the stares worth it. He hunkered down to get to her level and see what she was pointing at.

“Let’s see what you picked then.” he said. She pointed to the galaxy poster paint set, fully equipped with intergalactic paint brushes. Metallics paint, glitter paints, the whole nine yards for ages 5+. Claire was four, close enough. He took it off the shelf and handed it to his daughter to hold. She liked holding things. Dean didn’t.

“Right, where is the wrapping paper and card sections?” He looked up at the signs to tell him where to go for what he needed next.

“You’re looking for aisle four.” One of the staff members said. He followed the voice, seeing her stack other paint sets onto shelves. The girl made no attempt to hide the fact she was checking Dean out. Eyes darting from the top of him, to the bottom and back up. He was flattered, always good to know he’s still got it even with a four-year-old hanging out of his arm trying to pull him along because they were as usual running late. He got checked out without Charlie, rarely got checked out with Charlie.

Sometimes he got chatted up in the grocery store. Happened last week, he was talking to this guy about wine because Amelia wanted some and he hadn’t a clue what to get. He suggested Dean come over for wine tasting at his place. Numbers were almost exchanged till the guy noticed the Lion King plasters in his basket and kid juice boxes. Suddenly he was busy for the next month. Dean didn’t hold it against him, not many people liked kids. Their loss.

“Thanks.” He smiled back then let Charlie whisk him away in the wrong direction. He didn’t have the heart to tell her, so they were definitely going to be late to the party.


Cas’ house was easy to spot. It was the only one with the balloons strung from the postbox along. A tell-tale sign there was a birthday party going on inside. Charlie was bouncing in her car seat, already geared up and ready for some birthday fun.

“You got the present?” Dean asked turning off the ignition in his SUV. He couldn’t drive Charlie around in the Impala, definitely not a baby safe car to be in. Bobby had let him fix up an SUV out in his yard for free to save him spending money on a one he’d only be using till Charlie had outgrown the car seat. One more year till she graduated to a booster seat and he could strap that into the back of his actual car.

Charlie waved the present in her arms. Dean could see her through his rear-view mirror. He hopped out of the car and plucked Charlie from her seat, present still in hands, wrapped horribly but Charlie insisted on doing it herself. It was covered, that was a good enough base line to go off of. She wrote in the card too, again a four-year-old could only write so much, mainly Charlie worked in symbols and hieroglyphics.

He didn’t have a chance to take her hand to bring her up, once out of the seat, she had already darted up the driveway, up the stairs and was banging on the front door.

“Charlie! Dammit.” he ran up after her. He was too late. Cas had already opened the door and she swooped in under his arm.

“Cas, sorry man, she’s just excited.” he leaned over to get a look at his daughter. “And a brat!” he called out to her. She was jumping around with Claire who was sporting a neon green alien outfit not listening to her Dad. Charlie had picked out a good present, she knew her friend well. Music carried out into the porch he was standing in along with the noise of other kids and adults too. He put his attention back on Cas, the guy was wearing a white shirt, sleeves rolled up and a pair of glasses he’d never seen Cas wear before. Black rims surrounding his eyes.

“It’s fine Dean, please come in.” Cas stepped out of the way of the door to let Dean in. 

Dean pointed to the glasses as he walked in. “Those new?”

Cas shook his head. He pulled one side of his shirt to the side, revealing the Superman t-shirt he had on underneath. “Of course, Clark Kent.” Dean understood what he was doing.

“Claire will be disappointed you didn’t dress up.” Cas noted what he thought was a lack of costume.

“I am dressed up. I’m a lumberjack.” Dean patted the red and black flannel, slipped his fingers under his tan braces and snapped them. Cas’ throat gulped rather loudly, or else they were standing rather close, either way Dean heard it and it gave him a fleeting thought that Cas enjoyed that. Cas gave him no inclination he swung that way though, so Dean kept his thoughts and flirting to himself. He took out Charlie’s plastic axe from his bag pocket.

“See? I’ve got an axe and all.” he waved it before slipping it back into his pocket. Cas nodded, hearing but by the looks of it not listening, eyes still staring at Dean’s hand that was wrapped around one of his braces.

“Castiel, if you expect me to stay longer than an hour with a bunch of kids, I’m going to need something stronger than beer.” A voice gradually got louder as a shorter, chestnut slicked back haired tango dancer with fake moustache came into the sitting room Dean and Cas were standing in. Scratch that, porn star not tango dancer.

“Dean, this is my older brother Gabriel.” Cas reluctantly introduced them. Dean reached out his hand and shook it with the guy. Cas never mentioned a brother before in their playground chats. Dean talked about Sam non-stop. It was odd though the reluctance in the introduction made Dean think there was a reason why he never mentioned this guy before.

“Well aren’t you just catnip.” Gabriel flirted shamelessly. Dean chuckled at it, scratching the back of his neck on impulse. He clearly needed to wear this shirt more often, twice in one day Dean was on a roll. Cas gave his brother a threatening look. His brother put his hands up in the air, like a gun was being pointed at him. To be fair, if looks could kill. Cas’ would be the ones to do it.

“You said don’t hit on the Moms nothing about the Dads.” Gabriel pointed out.

Dean decided to play along, nudged Cas with his shoulder. “He has you there, buddy.”

“Don’t encourage him.” Cas mumbled. Dean laughed at that.

“Alright, I’ll behave.”

“We all know I won’t,” Gabriel winked. “Where do you keep the strong stuff compadre?”

Cas followed his brother and Dean followed in tow, walking into the kitchen/dining room that had more adults in it. Some from the pre-school, some Dean didn’t recognise before. For a short notice birthday party, there was a decent turn out. Seven or so kids were running around high on sugar and life. Dean spotted the table that had the sugar on it and like a magnet he was pulled, hand reaching a sugary donut and inhaling it in two bites. It was glorious. Dean noticed the birthday cake too, it was shimmering in gold glitter, explained why Cas had it on him yesterday.

“Nothing is sugar or gluten-free I already asked, just FYI.” One of the Moms Dean recognised from pre-school said to him. She was one of those yummy Mummies, ones that Dean tended to avoid.

He picked up another donut, shoved it into his mouth whole.

“Good, I love sugar AND gluten.” He said with his mouth covered in powdered sugar. She made a horrified look at him and walked off back to the other collection of yummy Mummies standing in a circle with white wine spritzers in their hands. Gluten, not ok, alcohol at half 1 though, totally acceptable.

The Tran’s kid Mom saw the ordeal and was sniggering into her mug. She walked over to him, handing him a napkin covered in stars. Dean took it, wiping the sugar off his face and swallowing down the donut before thanking her.

“Thanks.” he wiped off the sugar that landed on his shirt.

“Thanks for the laugh,” she took a sip of her coffee. Dean could smell it and could do with one himself. “Dean, right? You’re Charlie’s Dad?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “and you’re Kevin’s Mom?”

“Linda.” she put her hand out. He shook it. The Stepford wife’s collection cackled like a coven of witches, two of them were even dressed as such. It suited them. “I’m tempted to feed some sugar to their kids, get them nice and hyper, what do you think?”

“Sounds like my kinda plan.” he chuckled. No doubt their kids were sedated to within an inch of their life, who knows what sugar would do to them. Speaking of, he picked up a cookie. These looked homemade, buttery and delicious and much less messy to eat. He really needed a coffee to go with this and the smell of Linda’s was making him salivate. “Excuse me.” he touched her shoulder to leave her in search of a coffee.

He spotted Cas down on his hunches, talking to Claire who was showing him the present that Charlie had chosen for her then her smile dropped in the space of a split second, the foot stomped and she looked like she was about to blow.

“But Daaaaaaaaaaaad.”

Dean knew that name all too well. The pro-longed Dad, the I’m about to lose my shit if you don’t give me what I want right now Dad. He dropped down beside Claire and Cas.

“I said we can open it later.” Cas tried to reason with her. It wasn’t working. The icy blue death stare she liked to give Dean was up full whack and directed at her Dad.

Poor guy.

“Hey why don’t I drop Charlie off next weekend and you two can play with it together?” Dean offered, hoping that would stop the onslaught.

He then realised he just offered to drop his child off to play at another child’s house without even asking the parent first. That was definitely not ok, rookie parenting mistake. They might have had plans, or Cas might not have wanted a play date or any other of countless things.

Dean had only wanted to help but perhaps he put his foot into something bigger than he intended. “I mean, if your Dad is cool with it.” Attempting to save it, hoping he had and not just turned Cas into the bad guy if he had to say no to his daughter at her freakin’ birthday party.

“Can she come over to play?” Claire asked her Dad.

“She can come over to play anytime.” she dropped the death stare. “I’ll put this somewhere safe till then ok?”

“Ok.” she ran back to her friends satisfied with the turn of events. Dean still had to make sure it was ok what he did though. They both started to get up off their hunkers.

“Sorry man, I didn’t mean to overstep or…”

Cas shook his head. “You and Charlie are always welcome here.”

You, not just your daughter. You are welcome too.

“Oh okay,” he failed at hiding the dumb look on his face. He was totally elated that Cas had said that and his smile gave it away. He recomposed himself after a second or two, he could totally get lost at sea in those eyes of Cas’. “I actually came looking for a cup of coffee.”

“You take it black?” Cas took a mug from his cupboard, poured in some coffee from the machine and handed it to Dean. Dean took a sip. It was high quality coffee, none of that instant cheap stuff that Dean had stored away in his cupboard. This stuff was like cocaine, pure and Columbian. He hummed as his mouth filled with the smoothness of it. Dean took another sip and closed his eyes to let himself savour every aroma.

“Damn Cas, this stuff is better than sex.” He licked his lips to catch the drops left there.

Cas had poured himself one too, he was leaning against the kitchen counter. Cas’ eyes cast to Dean’s mouth and Dean retreated his tongue from his lip. He blinked away as if he didn’t seem too fussed he had been caught staring.  “I highly doubt my coffee is that good.”

 “I mean, it has been a while,” Dean joined him in leaning. “Maybe my memory is a little foggy.” It had been, too long. He brought the cup up to his mouth.

“Perhaps you need to someone to jog it for you.” Cas suggested casually. Dean nearly spat out his coffee, covering it with a cough and a gulp. It burnt his throat, but it was better than it spilling it. Again, Cas seemed unphased with what he had just said, or suggested. Perhaps it didn’t mean it as suggestive as he had. Dean sort of went down the path that Cas had been offering to jog it. More likely, he was just talking in general terms. General terms were easier to handle, kept Dean’s crush under wraps, especially at a kid’s birthday party. Boners were not acceptable party wear.

Charlie came running through adults and into the sitting room. Claire, the Tran kid and others he didn’t recognise followed. There was a loud bang. “Charlie?!” Dean shouted.

“I’m okay Daddy!” Charlie shouted back. She sounded sincere. He dropped the concern.

“Not many opportunities with a four-year-old to look after.” he said returning back to Cas’ conversation about how Dean isn’t having much of a sex life. Conversations he never really thought he’d be having with Cas. They kept it to the kids, the pre-school and work. This was a level up conversation, pals to friend’s conversation if they had been on a video game. Dean seriously needed to get laid if he’s comparing conversations in real life to video games.

Cas nodded. “True, I can only indulge when Claire is at her other Dad’s house.”

Claire’s other parent was a Dad. Interesting. Suddenly Dean’s fantasies didn’t seem to unrealistic. Nope, he needed to avert back to general sex talk about other people. He couldn’t engage in these thoughts until safe inside the confines of the bedroom. Thoughts that Cas indulged.

 “Jealous,” Dean said in a sigh. “I’m Charlie’s only parent.”

Cas looked at Dean with that remark, like that was new information, which it was. Dean didn't go around announcing that to the world. He didn’t press it though, kept it light and on topic. “Babysitters exist Dean, what about Sam?”

“Yeah, I guess I could pawn her off for a few hours.” he ran his finger over the rim of the mug. It wasn’t a bad idea really. Sam and Amelia loved Charlie. He hadn’t been on a date, a real date in years. Four to be exact.

“I’m sure Claire would love to have her best friend for a sleep over too,” Cas offered. “You might need the whole night to get your memory back if it’s been a while.” A smile made its way onto his face. Dean scoffed at that suggestive tone.

“You have no idea,” he gulped back the last of his coffee. “Yeah, maybe it’s time I get back out there or at least try.” That brought its own set of anxiety. A date, there were apps that made it a bit easier. He didn’t have to go to a bar or somewhere to try his luck. He could do it while watching re-runs of Jeopardy. “Might take you up on that offer, if you meant it.”

“Of course.” Cas took the empty mug from Dean’s hands, placed it into his sink. Dean gripped his hand on his friends’ shoulder as a thanks.

“And you can drop Claire off at mine too you know? If you need to indulge.” He bounced his brows. 

They shared a chuckle, then there was screaming and shouting pulling them away from their conversation. “Save me Daddy!” Charlie came running in, hands up about to leap up off the ground and into Dean’s arms. He was ready taking her with ease up into his arms. Claire came running in after with Charlie’s foam sword in her arms.

“An alien!” Dean exclaimed. Claire started to pretend to cut Dean’s legs with the sword. He pretended he was in pain. “No, it got me, I’m going down.” He gargled fake blood, legs starting to buckle as he started to fake die. “Superman, you’re our only hope.” Dean roped the other Dad into this.

Cas scooped Charlie out from Dean’s arms with ease, rested Charlie across his arms as if she were flying. “Let’s fly brave knight!” he flew her back into the sitting room.

Claire followed with entertaining levels of rage, wielding her sword around. Dean smiled wide and bright, full of warmth and insides turning to mush. As much as he wanted the physical side with Cas, he also kinda wanted more of this side too. This was the side that made him know his attraction for the man could slowly become more than a mere crush the closer he got to him.


 

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text


Charlie had strategically managed to get herself extra time in the playground in the park after pre-school. Dean tried to keep it down to half an hour. She bargained an extra fifteen minutes for helping Dean sort out the recycling. She knew her Dad well. The chill was getting worse. It wasn’t like Dean was jumping around the jungle gym manic like his daughter. He had his butt parked on the cold bench trying to breathe heat into his hands. He'd bring a hat next time. The winter was fast approaching. No doubt it would snow this year. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. A notification from his dating app he signed up to. Someone apparently matched with him. He had assumed this dating app would make it easier to get a date, but it wasn’t. Dean didn’t understand dating app lingo or etiquette. He was old at heart and DTF and eggplant emojis were lost on him. That was Tinder. Sam told him to get a different one, one that was less about hookups. Dean wanted a hookup, just a hookup with maybe drinks or dinner before they got to the good stuff. He needed to be wined and dined. He was a classy man.

So, this one, Bumble, was less about DTF though that didn’t stop Dean from getting the odd dick pic every once in a while. He had only been on it a few days and when boredom struck at work or in bed he’d start scrolling, swiping right and left almost like a game. He kept forgetting people were on the other side of it. People who were also swiping left and right. Dean had gotten a few matches, drummed up some conversations, nothing made him eager enough to go on a date, at least not yet. His newest match was with a woman, so he'd wait for her to start the conversation. Bumble rules apparently.

He opened the other two conversations that were ticking on. One with a woman called Lydia, the other with a guy called Benny. Lydia had sent him a peach emoji with a question mark.

“What in God’s name is a peach emoji?” he mumbled to himself. He sent a WhatsApp message to Sam to see if he knew. His brother took too long to respond. He noticed the messages he had sent to Cas were under his brother. Charlie left her sword there after the party, so he messaged Cas to get him to bring it to pre-school.

Deciding that Cas had been the one to initiate this in Dean he’d ask him. After all, Cas admitted that he did indulge. Code for totally boning people.

Dean 15:14 >>what does a peach emoji mean?

Cas 15:16 <<What part of the human anatomy does it look like?

Dean opened the message back up again to study it. Only one thing came to his mind.

Dean 15:18 >>a butt?

Cas 15:20 <<Congratulations, you have deciphered a sexual emoji

Dean 15:20 >>its like a whole new dating language! i feel so old

Cas 15:22 <<Not old, just not well versed in the art of online dating

He looked up to keep an eye on Charlie. She was in the train, pretending to drive it with another kid. Her choo choo noises carried over to him on the bench. He re-opened the messages.

Dean 15:25 >>you must teach me your ways yoda

Cas 15:26 <<Show you if you want I can young Skywalker

Dean burst out a laugh at that. Suddenly he didn’t feel so cold. His phone buzzed again, an email reminder about the Fete quickly followed by an email reminding parents of Charlie’s class about the bake-sale. It had completely slipped his mind. He had to bake something. Dean remembered the cookies at Claire’s birthday party and the delicious chocolate cake he got a slice of when Cas had cut it. He had made that. Dean opened up his messages with Cas again.

Dean 15:30 >>wanna team up for this bake-sale? and by team up i mean i’ll buy the ingredients and you can bake and we’ll share the glory

Cas 15:31 <<I can agree to those terms

Dean 15:31 >>charlie and i can come over tomorrow around 1? they can paint while we bake and again…when i say we...i mean you

Cas 15:33 <<Looking forward to it

Dean opened up the email that Ms. Oak (again unofficial name) had sent to him a few weeks back with the more reasonably priced baking options he could do. Chocolate chip cookies, brownies or banana bread. He saved the brownie shopping list to his phone.

“Charlie! Let’s go, we gotta go to the shops!” he stood up from the bench. His firecracker of a daughter came bounding towards him, face flushed from the running around and hair completely fallen down from the tie he had put it up in that morning. He noticed a dirt mark on the sleeve of her khaki coat (insisting she had one the same as her old man) and on the leg of her jeans.

“You fall over?” he bent down to brush the dirt off of her. She nodded. “You hurt yourself?” he started to run his hands over his face to look for scratches or cuts out of instinct.

“Nope.” Charlie told him. She had tough skin. Her took her hand and they walked off.


 

After the grocery shopping, he dumped her in the bath and noticed the graze on her kneecap. It wasn’t big but needed to be cleaned properly. She hated the anti-septic spray. The first mention of it resulted in Dean running around after her with the spray in his hand. Charlie left a death trap of water in her wake as her hair was soaked still from the bath. He threatened to cut it off if she didn’t stop running, that didn’t work because it was an empty threat. He’d never do that to her and she knew it. 

“One spray and I’ll make you a hot chocolate.” he bargained.

She stopped running, turned to look at Dean. “Marshmallows?”

“That’ll cost you two sprays.” he encroached on his daughter. Spray hidden behind his back. She sat down on the floor right there and lifted up her rainbow polka dot pyjama bottom trouser leg to reveal the graze. Charlie didn’t squirm once, so Dean loaded the marshmallows in, even made himself one and they curled up on their couch to watch the Powerpuff Girls before bedtime.

His phone buzzed, more matches. He tossed it to the other side of the couch, enjoying the moment with his number one girl.


The next time Charlie waited till Dean got to the door before knocking, well, she waited till his foot touched the bottom step and then knocked, correction, banged, with both hands in fists.

“Charlie!” Dean scowled at her. She stopped the banging immediately recognizing the tone of his voice. Cas opened the door, this time not in the work clothes he picked Claire up in or his Superman plain clothes outfit which was essentially his work clothes without the tie. This time he was in green t-shirt with a blue rim around the colour and a red zippie with black slacks. He looked relaxed, rested for once. Dean remembered Cas saying he had a demanding job that wore him out.

“Hi Cas!” Charlie beamed her biggest smile, swinging on her feet trying to ignore the unimpressed look Dean had on.

“Hello Charlie, Claire is in the sitting room if you…” she darted in under his arm before he could finish the sentence. Dean took the other two steps up to the front door.

“She’s a demon today, just as a heads up,” Dean warned stepping over the threshold. He had the ingredients in a canvas bag over his shoulder. “Too hyper about seeing her best friend outside of school.”

“Claire was also very excited today,” Cas told him. “She had me set up the paints before breakfast.” He gestured towards the coffee table where Charlie and Claire were kneeling by. The present that they had given Claire was all ready to go. Newspapers everywhere out of safety, paper, paints, cups with water and different shaped sponges arranged neatly, for now. Claire was holding out two tops, they looked like Cas’ that were covered in paint splatters.

“You want red or blue.” Claire said. “You can pick.”

Charlie pointed at the one she wanted. “Red. 

“Red what?” Dean questioned, still slightly unimpressed with Charlie and her lack of manners when she got excited.

Please.” She added, dragging the word out. Dean nodded hearing her and she took the red top from Claire’s hands to put it on once she took off her khaki coat. She left it on the chair far away, so she wasn’t a complete demon and didn’t just leave it on the floor, which she had done before. Content his daughter was going to be alright he followed Cas in through the kitchen arch on the right.

It looked like Cas had done some setting up of his own too. Mixing bowl and scales among other things that probably had names that Dean didn’t recognise all laid out on the kitchen counter. Dean dropped the canvas bag next to them.

“What are we baking?” Cas asked dipping into the canvas bag.

You are making brownies.” Dean clarified. Cas took out butter, flour, chocolate, eggs, sugar, vanilla essence, more chocolate, cocoa powder and a packet M&Ms.

He lifted up the packet to Dean. “M&Ms?”

“I thought they might be nice mixed in.” Dean shrugged. He leaned against the counter watching Cas arrange the ingredients in an order that probably made sense but was lost on Dean. “You need me to call out the recipe?” he fished his phone out.

“Yes, that would be helpful.” Cas said. He went to the side to grab two aprons. One black, one dark grey. “Which one?”

Dean looked up from his phone where he had been searching for the recipe. “I aint baking.”

“You say that now, but you’ll want to melt the chocolate,” he handed out the apron for Dean to take. “Everyone wants to melt the chocolate.”

“Fine, grey.”

“Grey, what?” 

Dean rolled his eyes knowing what had just happened. “Please Cas.” Cas handed it to him and placed it over his head. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Cas smirked, slightly chuffed with himself for parenting Dean. He put on the black one, tied it around his back and then around the front in a double knot. Dean mimicked it then went back to his phone to retrieve the recipe. He discarded the notifications from Bumble.

“Step one, pre-heat the oven…”

He read out the recipe to Cas and Cas followed. Dean gave up leaning on the counter, legs getting tired and jumped up on it while Cas whisked the sugar and butter together. He didn’t protest for Dean to get down, so he stayed.

When it came to melting the chocolate Cas was right, Dean did want to melt it. He enjoyed breaking up the pieces in his hand, slipping the odd one into his mouth when Cas wasn’t looking. One time he got caught and Cas glared at him with those steely blues his daughter enjoyed using. Claire did it, intimidating. Cas doing it, slightly alluring. He handed Cas a piece silently asking for forgiveness. Cas took it, popping into his mouth and humming. It was downright sinful, and Dean went back to breaking the pieces slightly more aggressively than before.

More dings came up on his phone from Bumble, he turned his phone to silent. He enjoyed his time with Cas, the last thing on his mind was whoever had matched with him on Bumble or whatever response Benny or Lydia had given him from their conversations last night after he tucked Charlie in. He poured in the melted chocolate to the mix that Cas was moving around with a wooden spoon. It gave it a marbled effect till it was completely folded in, like when Dean mixed paints for doing paint jobs on cars.

“That’s kinda cool,” Dean noted. He didn’t move away from Cas as he mixed, enjoying how when Cas’ worked the spoon around the bowl his upper arm brushed over Dean’s chest. Another sign he definitely needed to get laid. He felt like he was straight out of an old-world novel, the slightest touch or look of an ankle had Dean quivering. Maybe not that extreme but it was close. His phone vibrated in his front pocket, making Cas jolt because it meant it vibrated his thigh too. Dean quickly stepped back. “Sorry, thought it was on silent. Damn Bumble.”

“You’re very popular Dean.”

“What can I say? I’m a catch.” He joked. It was a message from Benny. They had been talking old cars, Dean told him about his Baby. Benny had responded saying he’d bet Dean looked good behind the wheel. Dean didn’t know how to respond to it. Cas had been leaning over, being nosey and reading it.

“Ever hear of personal space Cas?” Dean asked nudging Cas away with his hand.

“I thought you wanted my help.” Cas replied turning back to the mixture. He was gentle with the flour, like it was precious or something, folding it in and over the mixture. Dean hopped back up on the kitchen counter, let his legs swing underneath him.

He stared at the message.

Benny 13:43 <<I’d say you’d look good behind the wheel of something as pretty as her.

Dean debated what to send. He had no idea, pulling up blanks. Did he want to go out with Benny? His profile pictures showed him as a handsome guy. How true could that be though? People lied on the internet all the time. Even the photos Dean picked were of him on extremely good days. One with him leaning against Baby, one of him and Sam laughing their heads off and one of him post the Ice Bucket Challenge with his wet top clinging to his chest because he looked damn fine in it. He also included one of Charlie and him that Sam had took, she had fallen asleep on his chest one sunny afternoon out in the garden. It was cute and it also let people know that he did have a kid. So yeah, four of his best photos. Benny could be doing the exact same thing, or worse, none of them might be the guy. Dean’s seen Catfish.

Charlie and Claire came into the kitchen. He clicked the screen off, glad for the distraction. They were drowning in Cas’ t-shirts. The hem of the shirts almost on the ground and the sleeves were like wings. The paint had found its way to their faces, spots of purple, dark blue and silver. It was adorable and he needed a picture. Cas had bet him to it, down at their level with his phone. They smiled bright knowing that a phone meant smiles because kids were conditioned that way now.

“How you two Picassos getting on?” he asked. 

“Come see.” Charlie waved them in.

“You go, I’ll put this in the oven.” Cas returned to the brownie mix.

Dean followed the girls to get a look at their many masterpieces. His phone dinged again. This time it was the photo Cas had taken. It gave him a big goofy smile and he saved it immediately. The girls had painted on every page Cas had left out. Stars and symbols and sponges decorated the pages with the galaxy colours the present provided. They weren’t half bad, a few might even find their way onto the fridge at his home. He noticed one of them, it had four figures in it. Two tall ones, two short ones under a bunch of star sponge prints.

“It’s you and me and Claire and Cas.” Charlie pointed out the figures. Yeah, Dean could see it. Two purple people and two blue people. He also noticed that the two-purple people, the taller ones were joined at the end of their stick arms. They were holding hands. Dean didn’t know what to make of that externally, internally his heart was clenching, and his stomach was doing somersaults like it didn’t know what hit him but on the outside, he was unsure what to portray. “We’re eh…” he showed it to Cas who had come in.

“Holding hands.” Charlie said. “It’s because you’re scared.”

“What are we scared of?” Cas asked looking at the picture.

 “The dark,” she explained like it was obvious. “When I’m scared my Daddy holds my hand.”

He watched Cas. The tiniest of smiles showing up. He wanted to know what the smile was for. Was it because they were holding hands? Because Charlie painted it? Because it looked like they were some kind of family? The smile had too many answers. Answers Dean wasn’t about to get.

Claire tugged on Cas’ jeans to get him to look at other ones. The attention span of kids was short. He put the picture back down and followed his daughter to the other ones.

“What else did you paint kiddo?” Dean asked trying to untangle the knots of his insides. She showed him ones that had dragons on them (not dragons) and ones with more moons and stars and one where she was saving a princess from a tower (again its more abstract than in the literal sense). Cas grabbed more paper from his office and the Dads joined in on the painting while the brownies baked. The picture Charlie drew almost coming to life if Dean looked hard enough.


Cas set up the girls in the sitting room with sandwiches, juice boxes and apple slices along with Frozen while the grown-ups had their lunch in the dining room section of the kitchen with bigger sandwiches and cups of that delicious coffee Dean couldn’t get enough of. The brownies were cooling on a rack and the smell of chocolate filled the house.

It was a pretty nice house, much nicer than Dean’s, not that Dean was bashing his house but this one was newer, bigger and the garden he could see out the back was immense. Claire had her own swing set out there.

“You living here long?” Dean asked pointing to his surroundings.

“We bought it before Claire was born.”

He picked back up his sandwich to take another bite. “We?"
“My ex-husband and I.” Cas clarified. Oh yeah, the ex. Dean had momentarily forgot, lost in the goodness of the day.

“I didn’t mean to…” he didn’t know how to finish that, hoping his tone portrayed he had no intention of trudging up old memories of him and his ex -husband buying this home. They had bought it before Claire was born. A conscious choice to buy a family home, a family Claire didn’t have now for whatever reason.

“It’s fine Dean, I don’t mind talking about it with you,” Cas wiped the crumbs off of his top. “We separated shortly after Claire was born. I found out he had been cheating on me.”

A surge of anger made its way through Dean. “You two just get a kid and he’s off screwing someone else?” his tone was filled with venom for the guy who he didn’t even know.

“More than one person.”

That didn’t help Dean’s anger, he wished he had more chocolate to break or a head to smash in. “What an asshole.” Dean replied. Cas smiled at Dean defending his honour. 

“When it comes to monogamy yes, but he is a good Father to Claire.”

Dean took the cup off the table to do something with his hands. He was well aware he had a temper, especially when people he cared for were hurt by others. “I’ll take your word for it.” He mumbled.

There was a tense silence that Dean knew he created. Cas had been casual about talking about his ex, it was Dean that was up in arms over it. He couldn’t help it. He was a protector, always had been, always would be. 

His phone buzzed again in his pocket. This could be a way to get them back on a lighter note. He took his phone out, unlocked it and handed it to Cas.

“Here, Yoda me.” he waved his hand in Cas’ direction.

That perked his friend up, leaning back in his chair to scroll through Dean’s Bumble account.

“This is all quite tame Dean.”

“Yeah well I deleted the dick pics.” He moved closer to see what Cas was looking at. His new match, a woman called Lisa, pretty, brunette, tanned, nice smile. He didn’t recognise her from his swiping sessions, then again after a while it becomes a blur. She had even messaged him.

Lisa 15:09 <<Getting back in the saddle after 3 years? Try 8 ;)

Cas moved to her profile, scrolled through her pictures. One of her and a kid, a son.

“She has a kid too.”

“Yes, I have eyes Cas.” Dean sassed. Cas nudged him with his foot for the comment. This was clearly their new thing, the nudges, not that Dean was complaining, he started them. Instead of taking his foot back, he let it drop, leaving it balanced against Dean’s boot. 

Cas started typing a response. “Hey, hey wait up, what are you typing?" 

His phone was pulled away from him. “Trust me do you young Skywalker?” Cas put on a painfully accurate Yoda voice. Dean laughed at it, putting his hands up admitting defeat. He did ask for this, so he had to let the Yoda do his work while he grabbed more coffee and peered his head around to check on the girls.

Cas was still at Dean’s phone when he sat back down, looking like he was enjoying himself. The slight devious smirk letting Dean know he was up to no good.

“You better not be sexting.”

“You don’t need help in that area. I’ve read your messages with Lydia.”

Dean’s face flushed. He forgot about that. A couple of whiskey’s and a particularly lonely night he was sending Lydia explicit messages about what he’d do to her if they were together. Though admittedly when he talked about sliding his cock into your full lips, they weren’t hers he was picturing.  The ones in his mind matched the ones he was currently looking at, slightly chapped and pale in colour. Ones that were dying for some moisture Dean would be more than happy to give.

“Dean?” Cas nudged him with his foot. He had been talking to him.

Dean returned to reality. “Huh?”

“I said Benny wants to know when you’re free next.” Cas handed him the phone to read the messages.

Benny 13:43 <<I’d say you’d look good behind the wheel of something as pretty as her

Dean 15:13 >>I have been known to turn heads. I prefer driving her with good company though

Benny 15:17 <<I can be the good company you’re looking for

Dean 15:20 >>I don’t doubt that

Benny 15:23 <<What we waiting for?

No doubt Dean’s face had turned from pink to red. Cas had been pretending to be him but the whole turning head business was enough to make Dean squirm in his seat. The air of confidence Dean knew how to pull in person, not so much in texts. It seemed Cas had it down to a fine art, not too arrogant and everything with a hint of flirtation attached. Only thing was, did Dean want to go out with Benny?

“I don’t know Cas,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even know if I like the guy.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion. “Do you think he’s attractive?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dean shrugged. The guy was good looking, rugged. Dean preferred stubble over beard but his brawn was definitely something Dean liked. He ticked the brunette and nice eyes boxes too.

“Then fuck him.” Cas talking nonchalant about Dean fucking someone did things to him. It was like they were talking about the damn weather Cas was that casual about it. Dean wasn’t a prude, definitely not but the way Cas’ said fuck had him debating taking off his flannel from the warmth. That didn’t deter him from storing the audio bite of Cas saying fuck in his wank bank because his deep gravelly voice saying fuck over and over was what Dean had been missing in his nighttime sessions. He needed to stay on track though, not get carried away with fantasies that were too easy sometimes. Fantasies were one thing, actually doing it was another.

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It can be,” Cas replied. “It’s sex Dean. You aren’t bringing him home to meet Charlie.”

“Hell no.” he was adamant about that. The idea of Charlie meeting Dean’s suitors didn’t fly with him. He couldn’t trust they’d stick around, and he couldn’t bear the thought of Charlie getting attached and it all fading away from her. It would need to be someone special for that to happen. Someone Dean trusted with all he had. So, chances of that happening were slim to none.

“So, when are you free?”

“Guess I could drop Charlie off at Sam and Amelia’s for a few hours, they’re pretty lax about that sort of stuff. Monday?”

Cas snatched the phone back and started to type. Dean leaned over to look.

Dean 15:30 >>Monday, 6.30pm. Meet at the Roadhouse, then we can go for a ride ;)

Benny 15:31 <<Can’t wait.

No going back now.


 

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Summary:

Dean and Cas go on dates and they talk about it on the phone after.

Notes:

Little warning that there is a light Daddy kink shame in this chapter.

Also, as usual, more fluff and finally some smut. YAY, phone sex...kinda?

Chapter Text


The Fete was a decent enough gig actually much to Dean’s demise about going to it. There was knick-knack for sale, craft stuff, things for Thanksgiving and Christmas, stuff adults made, and stuff the kids made. Charlie’s class had the bake-sale. He spotted the brownies Cas made among them, selling quick. Ms. Oak even admired how the single Dads got together to do it. It was about as patronizing as it sounded. He didn’t attempt to mingle, just stuck to Cas’ side and Cas did the same, not attempting much conversation with people unless they came up to them. Some did to say how good the brownies were and how the M&M’s were a good addition.

“Told you.” Dean winked at Cas, slightly nudging his shoulder.

Cas responded in an eye roll and made a point of telling everyone he made them, not Dean out of retaliation. It was fun enough with him around, most of the parenting things were if Dean admitted it. It kind of felt like they were the outcasts and content being them. They both left when they deemed it was an acceptable time, sneaking away before Ms. Oak roped them into something.

Charlie was more than elated to be spending some time at her uncle Sam’s place. He kept it a surprise till he showed up for the Fete. Well, more like he was still debating on whether he was going to go through with the date or not. Cas had reminded him at the Fete enough times, like he could forget. It’s all he’d been able to think about since Saturday.

His brother arrived a bit after 6 to collect Charlie. Sam worked in the town so made more sense for him to pick Charlie up as he passed through. Dean lived closer to town than he did. Between Sammy being a big shot lawyer and Amelia being a vet they had a pretty sweet house further out of town, more rooms than sense though Dean knew they were planning on filling them soon enough. 

Sam let himself in with his own key.

“Hello?” he called out. 

“In here!” Dean called back. He zipped up Charlie’s bag pack with the toys she wanted to bring. The ones in Sam’s weren’t enough apparently and she needed to show Amelia her new iguana teddy she was half convinced had a sore tail.

Sam stepped in, suited and booted straight from work. Not even the corporate world could get that brother of his to cut his hair. “Charlie’s getting her shoes on upstairs.”

“You’re looking good.” His brother noted.

Dean looked down at himself. He had showered, styled his hair a bit more than usual and was wearing a charcoal shirt with his least raggedy pair of jeans.

“I always look good.” He joked. Admittedly he did appreciate the compliment. It was the third shirt he had tried on. What do you wear on a date that is probably going to involve a drink, a drive and possibly some sex? Dean couldn’t bring himself to think about the last part long enough. He’d deal with that anxiety when it came to it.

“Who’s the lucky person then?” Sam leaned against the door frame. Dean didn’t so much as come out to his brother as his brother accidentally walked in on him one afternoon with a study buddy. There weren’t so much studying as much as they were exchanging hand jobs. The image was forever burned into Sam’s brain for the rest of his life. He kept it quiet though till Dean was ready for the rest of his family to know.

“Some dude I met online, name’s Benny, works on a shipyard.” Dean went to his phone to pull out a photo his brother obviously wanted to see. He put the phone up to his face. Sam’s expression looked impressed. “Not too bad eh?”

 “Not bad at all.” There was surprise in his tone.

“Don’t sound too shocked.” Dean walked back to grab Charlie’s bag pack off the table. He handed it to his brother and crossed his arms slightly in a defence stance.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you’re dating again.” Sam admitted.

“Yeah, well, a friend of mine suggested it so…” Dean shrugged. “Worth a shot I guess.”

“Can’t hurt.” Sam agreed. They heard tiny footsteps making their way down the stairs steadily. “Is that who I think it is?” Sam leaned back out of the door frame to see Charlie coming down ready to go.

“Uncle Sammy!” she shouted. She took the last two in a jump and ran into her uncle’s arms that were waiting to pick her up. Sam knew she wanted up on his shoulders, made her seem like a giant so he swung her up there like she weighed nothing. Her hands went around neck to hold on. “Look at me Daddy, I’m taller than you.”

“You sure are kiddo.” Dean smiled up at her. 

The anxiety about the date was side-stepped when those two were together. His baby brother and his baby girl totally besotted with one another. He basically raised Sam and it was a nice turn of events that now Sam was helping him raise Charlie. When he first got her Sam had been there through the night feeds and diaper changes. It took Amelia showing up to actually get him out of the house and into his own life, not that he really left, just moved out. They still saw each other every week, maybe more depending on Sam’s schedule.

“Alright, bag is packed. You put the spare car seat in, right?” Dean asked his brother.

“Yeah, locked it in this morning.” Sam had his own car seat for Charlie, saved Dean having to unhook his every time Charlie was in his car. He grabbed the keys to the Impala, his jacket and Charlie’s and headed out after them.

When he said his goodbyes and Sam drove off the wave of nerves hit him, not a full-on tsunami but waves none the less. He took his phone out, looking for some more reassurances from Cas.

Dean 18:13 >>remind me again why this was a good idea?

Cas 18:14 <<You thought my coffee was better than sex. FYI, it isn’t

Dean 18:15 >>maybe thats just a difference of opinions…ever think of that?

Cas 18:18 <<You’ll thank me when, as you put it, slide yourself into that hot mouth of his

Dean laughed out loud in his car. He could hear the deadpan of Cas in that.

Dean 18:19 <<fine…i guess a blowjob doesnt sound that bad

Cas 18:20 >>After four years, you deserve it. I’ll be waiting to hear how it goes

Dean 18:21 <<you want all the gory details?

Cas 18:21 >>Currently watching a YouTube video on how to French plait hair Dean, so yes

Dean 18:22 >>we are assuming here hes gonna put out

Cas 18:23 <<He will

He tried not to think too much about how Cas was so sure that Benny would be willing for sex on the first date and put his phone down to drive off, not wanting to be late. The nerves had settled, thanks to Cas. Also, there was a part of him that was more eager for a blowjob if it meant he got to tell Cas about it. Again, he tried not to think too much about that either.


Benny was actually good fun. He had a beer waiting for Dean at the bar, kissed his cheek when he greeted him, and they started talking like they’d known each other for a few years. It was easy and Dean fell back into flirty banter as if he hadn’t left it, turned out it was like riding a bike. A few winks and compliments between them and Dean got his swagger back.

He showed Benny his car. The man practically drooled over it. His southern drawl was enticing to Dean. He drove around for a bit, listening to classic rock tunes that Benny enjoyed. His voice sounded even better when he sang and when he put his hand on the back of the seat, letting his thumb touch the hairs on Dean’s neck he knew he was in some memory rejogging as Cas put it.

It didn’t take long till they were getting heavy and steaming up windows. Dean had found a quiet spot up in the hills that was private enough for what they were both looking for.

Benny nipped at Dean’s neck, hand making its way up his thigh. He let him do his worst, Dean enjoyed the attention. One hand lazily running through Benny’s hair, then his mind fleeted over to Cas, remembering how thick his hair looked. How it always had that finger fucked, totally disheveled appearance and Dean pushed his hand further into Benny’s, let his fingers slip through the hairs imagining the shade was a bit darker. He remembered Cas’ texts, the hot mouth around his cock, how Cas had said he deserved it. It made him shudder. You deserve it.

With Cas’ voice taking over his head, Dean rolled his hips a bit, letting Benny know he wanted something silently, hoping the guy picked up on it. He did.

It was good though Cas’ coffee still won that round. 

He dropped Benny back to the Roadhouse after that. They kissed goodbye, the slight taste of cum still on both their lips and Benny said he hoped Dean would call on him again if he was up for some fun or just a friend to watch a game with.

Chuffed with himself, he drove off to pick up Charlie and once she was tucked up in bed and he had a cold beer in his hand he texted Cas from the couch.

Cas 18:23 <<He will

Dean 20:42 <<He did

Cas 20:44 >>Putting Claire to bed, give me five minutes

He put on the TV, let himself settle in, enjoying the tingles of phantom fingers that were on his body not an hour ago. Dean hadn’t forgotten the minor detail that what pushed him over the edge was picturing Cas on his cock, but he didn’t need to share that with his friend. Somethings were allowed to be just for him to know and others to never find out. He repaid Benny for his generosity, that settled Dean’s guilt about it.

Sure enough, five minutes later Cas was calling him. Calling him?

How in the hell was Dean supposed to give Cas details about his blow job verbally and not get hard again? He picked up before it went to voicemail.

“Cas?”

“Hello Dean.”

Yeah, this was a terrible idea.

Dean turned down the volume on the TV. “You want to do this over the phone?”

“We can message if you’d prefer…”

“No, I mean, I can…” Why was he always a prude around Cas? “I’m cool.”

“I take it your memory rejogged was then.”

He chuckled. “Oh yeah, not completely but close enough. Blowjobs were exchanged.”

“Good.”

His dick twitched at that remark. This was not going to end well. Dean fixed himself in his sweats willing it to stay down.

“And he didn’t leave a mess on my leather seats either if you know what I mean, so I have no complaints really.” There was a crash on the other side of the line. “Cas?”

“Sorry, I…um dropped one of Claire’s dolls.”

“You’re talking to me about blowjobs while tidying up your kids’ toys?”

“I can multi-task,” Dean scoffed at that. “Continue.”

“I remembered how to flirt once I got into the swing of it. Forgot how much fun it is.”

“Yes, it’s almost like that part of us goes to sleep when we get a kid but it’s still there.”

“Well I appreciate you waking it up in me,” he took a sip of his beer. “I owe you one.”

“I’m sure I can think of something you can do to make it up to me.”

That comment woke up his dick. Add it to the growing list of phrases Cas said that make Dean hot and bothered. He coughed to give himself more time on how to even respond to something like that in a non-sexual way. It was Cas’ fault he had sex brain at all, making him go out on dates and get blowjobs and then make him come home and re-tell him the story. Oh god, he was a lost cause when it came to this man. By that thought alone it looked like if Cas said jump Dean would respond with how high.

It seemed Cas clocked it too.

“I didn’t mean that to sound as sexually suggestive as it did.”

“It’s cool man." 

A noticeable silence hung between the phone lines.

“Dean, have I made you uncomfortable?”

“What? No, just still have a bit of sex brain is all sooo…”

“Sex brain?” Cas asked, quickly followed by a “Ohh.”

Great, he just effectively told Cas he was hard.

“Ehhh,” shit shit abort abort. “G’night Cas.”

He hung up before he gave the guy a chance to say it back. Dean buried his head in his hands, cursing quietly to himself about how idiotic that was. After a few minutes of horrifying embarrassment, he half debated messaging Cas to apologies. Though he had nothing really to be sorry for. It was Cas who said the whole suggestive slightly dominating comment. Yeah, Dean was fine. It was only as big as Dean let it be so if he was cool then it was cool. He downed the rest of his beer and hit the hay.


He was fine by the time pick-up came around for Charlie. Cas was in the playground with Dean’s daughter’s hair in his hands. It made him stop in his tracks, trying to get his phone before either of them noticed and ruined it. Cas was putting her hair in a French plait, or at least trying to, something Dean never even attempted to master. He could do a mean ponytail and a bun if Charlie spun around while he held her hair. He was glad she didn’t like it up because he always felt like he was hurting her when he did it. Cas looked like he was being so gentle with her that a lump of affection got caught in Dean’s throat.

Cas put his hand out for Charlie to hand him the tie she had been patiently holding and clasped it around the end of her hair. Claire jumped up and down saying it looked great and they now matched because Claire had one too and then Charlie hugged Cas as thanks for doing it and yeah, Dean just about died for a whole other set of reasons in comparison to last night’s. His daughter finally noticed him standing there all heart eyed and melting on the inside.

“Daddy!” she ran towards him and he lifted her up into his arms.

“Hey darling, cool hair.” He kissed her cheek attempting to be casual about it.

“Cas did it for me.” She twisted in his grasp, almost blinding him with the new weapon attached to her. Charlie had hair almost to her elbows and as thick as Rapunzel’s looked. Yes, Dean knew what it looked like. His daughter liked to remind him that they had matching eyes. To be fair, they kinda did when he was trying to win her over. He inspected the braid, looked like it wasn’t about to fall out and didn’t look like it was pulling her scalp.

“You’ll have to show me the tutorial,” Dean said to Cas who had Claire by the hand. “Can’t have you being able to bake and do hair better than me now can we?”

“I’m sure your talents lie elsewhere.” Cas replied. “Dad talents I mean.” Was added to the end to save that from being yet another sexually suggestive comment from his friend. Dean laughed at his save, thankful for his Dad brain being switched on so he could brush it off easily. Cas not so much, he looked at the ground hoping that it would swallow him up already. It’s was nice to know that Dean wasn’t the only stumbling and being bashful.

“I do have many Dad talents,” Dean helped him the poor guy out. “I build this one a tree house in the summer.” He wriggled Charlie in his arm. 

“You built a tree house?” Claire asked, doubting his capabilities. Seriously, what was up with Claire and hating on Dean? His daughter came to his rescue before he had a chance to give her some sass back.

“Yeah, you wanna come see?” Charlie asked looking down at her best friend.

“Can I? Can I? Can I?” Claire bounced around her Dad. The sass had been replaced by one hundred percent pure four-year-old excitement. Kids were like switches.

Cas inhaled deeply, chest rising under his trench coat. Dean knew that breath. He was about to possibly disappoint his daughter. “Maybe another time, your Dad is coming to take you to your swimming lessons and then back to his for dinner and a movie, remember?”

Ugh, the other Dad. Dean tried to not eye roll. He did tighten his jaw on instinct though. It didn’t look like Cas spotted it thankfully. 

“Oh yeah,” she remembered. “Can I come another time?” Claire asked. Surprisingly no tantrum, perhaps the kid really did like her other Dad. It wasn’t like she knew he possibly tore Cas’ heart into a million tiny pieces.

Dean nodded.  “Course sweetheart, doors always open for friends.” Dean smiled at her. He shared the smile with Cas too. Cas returned it warmly and easily.


At the playground Dean’s phone buzzed with the tutorial for the braiding. It was pretty quiet for a Tuesday, so Dean was sitting on one of the swings to keep an eye on Charlie as she tried her luck on the monkey bars. They were at a slant, so Dean told her to where she had to hop off of to not get too high. If she had it her way, she’d climb to the tallest one, then crack her ankle on the jump down.

Dean 14:26 >>thanks Cas…she loves it so no doubt will be asking for it tomorrow

Cas 14:28 <<No problem

“Daddy, I’m stuck!” he looked up, she had gone further up than she was supposed.

“Dammit Charlie,” Dean stepped in under the bars and wrapped his arm around her stomach to hold onto her while she let go. “I told you not to go up that far.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice all quiet and sad. He kissed her head realising he had sounded angrier than he intended. He put her down and got down to her level to talk to her.

“I just want you to be safe ok?” he smiled hopefully showing her that he wasn’t mad, and she didn’t need to be worried about it. It seemed to do the trick. Her smile perked up again. She nodded. “Alright, go knock yourself out on the slide.”

Charlie didn’t need to be told twice, bolting towards it like a bat out of hell. He had a twinge of guilt for letting his voice get that angry with her. It was a slip up. She didn’t deserve that amount of gruff from her Father. No one does really. Sure, boundaries are important, but they don’t need to be set by intimidation. Unlike Dean’s own Father. John Winchester’s A+ Parenting was everything Dean tried to avoid with his own kid. He’ll die happily knowing that Charlie never once called him ‘sir’. Fear was not an emotion he wanted Charlie to have when she thought of her Dad.

Of course, saying all that, Dean did tend to slip up. He wasn’t perfect. So, his guilt gave Charlie a few more minutes in the playground and probably two bedtime stories.


One and a half bedtime story later and Charlie was out like a light. He looked over at his baby girl curled up in her bed, night light casting a warm glow onto her serene face. Red hair out over the covers like an extra blanket. Dean put her Tigger bookmark between the page he had stopped at and placed it down the side of the chair he read from.

“Sweet dreams Charlie.” He ran a hand over her head. Silently wishing she could stay four forever, just be his bundle of energy and still have faith in the world. The older she got the more clued in she would get but right now, right now she was blissfully naïve like kids should be. He closed the door over.

Too early for Dean to call it a night he went back downstairs for some mindless TV and a couple of beers. He had left his phone down on the couch, when he picked it up, he saw he had a message from Cas.

Cas 20:32 >>I think I need to readjust the age parameters on my dating profile

He must be out on a date. Cas had mentioned about Claire’s other Dad having her for the night. If Dean was about to have another conversation with Cas about dating or sex, he’d need something more than a beer. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey off his bar shelf along with a glass and poured himself a stiff drink. Downing it, then pouring another he felt a bit more prepared, or relaxed to give this whole talking about sex another shot.

Dean 20:56 <<fake ID or a free bus pass?

Cas took a while to respond. In that time Dean had turned on a re-run of House just to have something on in the background. It was easy to watch, easy to drink to.

Cas 21:04 >>I’m surprised their parents didn’t drop them off

Dean 21:07 <<HA…i have to see this for myself…send me a pic

The photo showed up next on the chat window. He expected a photo from their dating profile. Cas had sent him a photo of the boy, man, boy-man sitting in a bar holding a beer and looking out in what Dean assumed to be the bar they were in. He was wearing a red baseball cap, definitely young but not worryingly. He scoffed at the image of Cas trying to subtly take a photo of the guy when he wasn’t looking. Also, it must be going terribly if Cas was messaging Dean while still on it. 

Dean 21:10 >>c’mon hes kinda cute

Cas 21:13 <<He has the same music tastes as my daughter

Dean laughed at that, louder than expected. He turned his head towards the stairs behind him to hear if it woke up Charlie up. It didn’t. An earthquake wouldn’t wake her. 

Dean 21:17 >>like you said… its just sex…not like you have to LIKE the boy…i mean man

Cas 21:23 <<Don’t use my own words against me

Dean 21:24 <<if the shoe fits…

Cas 21:28 >>I suppose he is cute

Dean 21:30 >>go get em tiger...ill be waiting for the details

It wasn’t till Dean was in bed that his phone starting vibrating on his bed side table. It was Cas, checking in for his after date debrief because that was apparently a thing they did now. Slightly buzzed Dean answered.

“Well?”

“He called me Daddy.”

“NO!” Dean gasped.

“Yes.” Cas sighed. Dean sniggered sinisterly. “It’s not funny Dean.” There was a slight dark slur in his voice. He must have been a bit buzzed too from his date.

“Kinda is,” Dean replied. He sat up in the bed, suddenly feeling more awake than when he got in. This was going to a story for the ages. He could tell. “So, what happened?" 

Cas told him everything, no details spared just one continuous monologue of his date, from when he saw the guy in the bar to now where he was fucking the guy from behind in the bathroom stall. It had Dean aching in his pyjama bottoms. From the story Cas clearly liked manhandling people, liked it a bit rough and it was everything Dean loved in a sexual partner. He liked that kinda of attention on him, liked to be roughed around and when the other person knew how to do it right, do it like Cas sounded to be doing with this guy, it was downright euphoric.

He had been quiet throughout it, not wanting to interrupt Cas and his flow. This was like the best bedtime story ever and Dean didn’t want to ruin it by letting it out that he was getting off on it. He just let his hips roll on their own accord, letting the fabric brush against his cock enough to get a tingle over his body. Cas’ dark tipsy voice was turning Dean into putty.

“I started to feel sorry for Alfie because I wouldn’t let him touch himself and he was begging for it at this stage…”

Dean had to put his fist in his mouth to stop a moan that was dying to be heard.

“…so, I reached around, started jacking him off and then…”

There was a pause and it killed him. It can’t be over. He needed to hear the end.

“Cas?”

A sound of a door closed came through. “Sorry I thought I heard something, where was I?”

“You were em…” Dean gulped. “…jacking the guy off and…”

“Am I turning you on?” Cas asked.

 “What? No.” Dean spat out way too quickly for someone who actually meant that.

“You’re a bad liar Dean.”

He was, a terrible one especially when this turned on. Cas had been in his ear talking about fucking somebody in all the ways Dean wanted Cas to fuck him. How could he not be turned on? He made himself feel better by hoping that Cas had asked because he wanted Dean to be. He could make himself believe just about anything. Delusions and denial were his friends. Also, his sex brain was seriously enjoying the idea of Cas knowing Dean was hard. 

“Fine, maybe a little. Can you blame me?”

“Are you touching yourself?” Christ, Cas needed to go to confession for having a voice that sinful. Dean felt that in his bones it was that deep, penetrating his skin and muscle. He found himself slipping under Cas’ voice, hooked on it. Cas asked a question and for some reason Dean needed to answer him. Compelled to. 

“I’m trying not to.” He admitted.

“You can, if you want.” Dean didn’t need to be told twice. The whiskey mixed with Cas’ voice was tearing down all his inhibitions. He reached in to touch himself, letting out a slow moan as he got his hand around his cock. Dean pressed his thumb into the slit, eliciting some pre-cum to help him out a bit. It made him shudder, made his skin flush knowing Cas was hearing him and was about to hear more of him. 

“Feel good?” This man was trying to kill Dean. He was totally trying to kill him.

“Yeah Cas,” Sex brain took over, high jacking any sense of Dean keeping himself under control. Cas had it all and Dean was more than happy for him to have it. “So, fucking good.”

“You think you’ll last till the end of the story?"  

“Only if you hurry the hell up.” He stammered out in frustration. Cas teasing him was not helping the situation of him lasting any longer than what would probably be two minutes till the end of the story.

“Fine, where was I…”

He got close to the end, right up to the point where Cas was slamming into the guy so hard that the bathroom stall wall had begun to move so he wrapped a hand around the guy’s chest to hold him back off it and that had Dean cumming harder than when he got a blowjob the other day and it was just by Cas’ voice alone. Just that image of Cas being strong enough to hold Dean up, still fuck him and jack him off while Dean melted in his chest, probably whispering sweet nothings in his ear the entire time.

When he felt it burn, he let go of his cock and fell back into the headboard with a thud.

“Fuck, that was…”

“I agree.”

Dean scoffed, he hadn’t even finished that sentence though he was going to go with something along the lines of ‘incredible’ or ‘insane’, both were good descriptions of what just happened. He took a few more breathes in euphoria before coming back down to earth. 

Once returned he grabbed a tissue and wiped himself up. Now, he had a choice to make, either acknowledge what happened and have to deal with the fact that he essentially had slightly submissive phone sex with his daughter’s best friend’s Dad or brush over it like it was nothing and just act casual, like it was no big deal. Given that he was going to have to see this man tomorrow in the playground he went for the latter.

“So, when did he call you Daddy?”

“As I came, I believe his exact words were ‘fill me up Daddy’.”

Dean grimaced. “I think I might hurl.”

“I almost did.” Cas noted.

They laughed. It was light. Good, Dean needed it to be light if he was going to get through this. His boundaries of Cas remaining in fantasy land were well and truly dismantling. He didn’t need for the whole land to sink under the ocean. He could chalk this up to just body anatomy and needs rather than feelings, or desires or whatever else Dean felt for the guy. Like he said early, who could blame him for getting his rocks off to that? Anyone would have and Cas seemed pretty lax about sex so, yeah, it would be fine.

“Right, well, I better go, thanks for the bedtime story.” He joked.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight Dean.”

“Night Cas.”

He turned off his bed side light and spent another half an hour convincing himself that everything was going to be ok.


 

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Text


Cas didn’t bring it and neither did Dean. That didn’t stop Dean from thinking about. He thought about it at work, in bed, in the shower, sitting on the bench in the park pretty much any free time away from Charlie he got he was thinking about Cas’ sultry voice and how Dean had jacked off to it. Even looking at Cas made him hot under the collar more than usual. It seriously was not a good way to be in a pre-school playground. Dean had been pretty much celibate for the last four years and Cas had to go and ruin it and fuck did he ruin it.  That part of his brain had been asleep and now it was awake and alert and hungry, so damn hungry for more of it, more of Cas.

That Saturday Cas had brought Claire over to check out the tree house. Claire was still unconvinced that Dean managed to build it because aside from loving stars and space, taking Dean down a few pegs was a favourite thing of hers. He was close to bringing out the sketches he still had of his earlier designs to convince her then he realised she was a four-year-old and he was a grown ass man. Cas had given him a look that said you’re not going to win this one, so he saved his breath.

It took him most of the summer to finish it. Not a traditional tree house but it was made of wood and in a tree, so it counted. He made it lower to the ground, about six feet up and it wrapped around the old willow tree they had in their garden. The low hanging branches gave it a mystical feel that Charlie loved. It felt like her own castle to rule, she even decided to name the garden Moondoor and she was the residing Queen.

“I need to anoint you before you can see my castle.” Charlie told them. She ran inside to grab her foam sword. Cas tilted his head at Dean unsure what was happening.

“You’re gonna need a title if you wanna see inside the Queen’s house. She can’t have just any ole peasant in there.” Dean explained with exaggeration, like this was obvious.

“I see, of course.” Cas smiled. He waited for Charlie to come back out with her sword.

“You have to kneel.” Charlie told them. Claire went easily and Cas followed, putting one knee on the ground awaiting to be anointed by Dean’s daughter. He had to try and hold back the chuckles. 

His daughter looked at them, trying to decide what titles to give them. She had a great imagination, which usually meant it took her too long to decide, too many options to work with. Dean got down beside her to help her out, whispering some suggestions in her ear that he thought would be suiting to their friends. She seemed to like them and stood to attention, embodying a queen who was about to anoint. Dean stood tall too, playing along with his daughter who was clearly enjoying herself. He could feel Cas smirking up at him.

“I anoint you,” Charlie touched the sword on Claire’s shoulder. “Knight of the Galaxy.”

Claire’s whole face lit up. “Rise Knight.” Claire said defiantly. Claire jumped up, now a knight and beaming with pride. He seriously loved kids’ ability to make-belief. It made everything ten times better knowing they thought it was as real as world they lived in. She held herself taller, shoulders back and head up like Dean was doing.

Next was Cas. She touched his shoulder. There was a pause. “Eh, what was it again Daddy?” she turned her head around to look at Dean. He scoffed, broke character and got down beside her to whisper it in her ear again. Cas’ blue eyes squinting and full of curiosity.

Charlie nodded understanding him and went back to anointing.

“I anoint you Commander of Cookies.” She said it so seriously that Dean had to cover his mouth to not break the game. His shoulders jittered though, giving him away. “Rise Commander.”

Cas stood up, trying to hide his smile too, pulling his lips into his mouth. It was all kinds of adorable.

Now with the anointing over Charlie and Claire ran down the garden to the tree house, Cas hung back with Dean on the deck finally letting their laughter out.

“Oh man,” Dean wiped his eye. “That was gold.” 

“Commander of Cookies?” Cas asked through a chuckle.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, just came to me.” 

“Castiel, Commander of Cookies. It has a ring to it.” Cas seemed pleased with his name.  

“C’mon Commander, I’ll make us some coffee.” He waved Cas back into his kitchen to make him a cup of java. Cas sat down on one of the chairs. It was the first time Cas and Charlie had been over though it seemed like they slotted in like they’d been there before. Dean wasn’t too concerned about being a good host or making sure they were ok. He found himself acting like if Sam and Amelia were over, an air of casualness, no stress of pressure around.

Once the two cups were made Cas asked him what his title was.

“Knight of Pie.” Dean replied. He leaned against his kitchen counter. It didn’t Charlie long to think of that one. Dean loved pie and she thought he would be better suited a knight than a prince because princes didn’t really do much, but knights could fight battles. Her logic was as always, spot on. “Speaking of, you want a slice?” he opened his fridge to take out one he picked up from the bakery earlier. “I didn’t make it, obviously, but its good I promise.”

“Please.”

“We can eat it while we keep an eye on the girls.”

Cas got up to walk back outside, with his coffee in hand while Dean served up two slices of apple pie. Cas was sitting on the bench that Dean had also made. It wasn’t a standard size park bench. He didn’t have enough wood left over from the tree house, so it was more a loveseat. Dean debated bringing out a chair to sit on from inside, but he didn’t really fancy it. One, wanting to be close to Cas and two, their body heat would help them being outside in the cold. He plonked himself down beside his friend and the lack of shock or tension from the guy let him know he was ok with it. When Cas relaxed into it more, let his leg go lose and touch Dean’s he knew he might be more than ok with it. Dean hoped his dumb face wasn’t giving anything away.

They ate in silence while watching the girls run around the garden and tree house pretending to fight off an invasion of aliens who were trying to destroy the castle. It was one the better Saturday’s he had in a while. It was nice spending time with Cas, nice not having to feel the need to fill it with conversation. The girls were entertainment enough for them.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, startling Cas because their thighs were touching. They had been too engrossed in the defeat of the alien army. “Sorry," he fished his phone out. He unlocked his phone. “It’s just Benny.” He opened up the conversation window. Cas had leaned over to look at the messages. They weren’t anything saucy.

“Here, let me.” Cas took the phone off of him, starting typing to her.

“C’mon Cas, give it back.” Dean reached for it. Cas was swift, moving it to his other hand and extending his arm over to the other side away from him. As tempted as it was to play this game, his daughter was less than ten feet away, so he restrained himself and slouched back into the bench. “You’re a dick sometimes, you know that?”

“Your dick wouldn’t be getting any if I didn’t help you out Dean.” Cas retorted. That was unfortunately true. He typed away, pretending to be Dean to Benny, setting up a date during the week. Not ten minutes later Cas handed back the phone. “There, Wednesday 6pm, his place. You’re welcome.”

Dean slipped his phone back into his. “My dick and I thank you.” He deadpanned. Sure, having sex with Benny wouldn’t be worse way to be spending his Wednesday evening. All of this new founded pent up sexual frustration for the guy he was currently hanging out with might actually be put to some good use. Getting fucked would exert some of that. Also dates, getting laid usually meant he’d get to tell Cas about it, that was even more enticing than the date itself. It would be even exhilarating getting fucked knowing he’d get to tell Cas about it after. Was that why Cas had set it up so quick? 

“Will you be expecting a bedtime story?” Dean asked suggestively.

Cas lifted his mouth into a sly smile. That was a yes if Dean ever saw one.

The girls came running up to them, looking for lunch and their adult conversations were put on hold for the rest of the evening. Dean couldn’t wait for Wednesday now.  


 

After a mouthwatering plate of seafood, some laughs and a couple of beers Benny brought Dean into his room and fucked him.

It still wasn’t as good as Cas’ coffee.

He stayed for ten minutes after then said he had to go pick up Charlie. He didn’t have to, not for another hour but he didn’t feel like staying any longer. Dean got what he wanted, or at least a version of what he wanted. What he really wanted was yet to come.

When Cas answered Dean felt a bit of stage fright. He wasn’t as drunk as he had been last time, partly because he had to drive to and from the date and dropping off Charlie, so he didn’t have any whiskey. Whiskey usually helped him feel freer and more relaxed.

“Well, he didn’t call me Daddy.” Dean started off with, hoping there could be some preamble to this to help get him into the grove of it. Cas made it seem so easy, just like an audio porno book. Dean wasn’t eloquent. He sipped his beer.

“It’s already better than mine.” He could hear the smile in Cas’ voice.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

That had Cas curious. “Oh?”

“I mean it was good but just…” How could he say it? It was missing Cas. It was never going to be as good as Cas doing it to him. Nothing was ever going to compare, and it wasn’t like Dean even knew but at the same time he just knew.

Benny was good, he was. Dean couldn’t fault him really. It just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what he knew Cas was capable of doing.

“Just?”

He pulled at the lapel on his beer, quietly answered. “Not what I wanted.”

“What did you want?” Cas asked. Images filled with what he wanted, exactly what he wanted, how he wanted it, where and when over and over. He had already cum that night and yet his cock still twitched with interest. “Tell me Dean.” 

He can’t deny Cas anything with that voice, the way his name sounded on Cas’ tongue.

“I want it hard,” he admitted. Warmth rose up from under his collar. His interested cock was more than interested now. “To the point that I can’t even see straight, that I can’t even remember how to walk after it. I want to feel it in my ass for days, have them mark my skin and leave me speechless,” he could see it now, see Cas doing all of those things. “I wanna be fucked five ways from Sunday, you know?”

Cas answered with an exhaling sigh, slightly on the edge of a moan. A husked breathy moan. Dean listened in closer, glad for the silence in the house as he could narrow in on what was happening on the other end of the line and fuck did it sound good.

“Christ Cas – are you jacking off?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Cas replied, along with another sex filled breathy exhale. Holy crap, Cas was jacking off to him. No hiding that, no covering that up with anything other than what it was. He scrambled off the sofa to head to his bedroom to fully enjoy this.

Once he had the door closed, his phone being held between his cheek and shoulder he unbuttoned his jeans to get a hold of his cock. A groan erupted out of him. He could hear Cas’ heavy breathing, slight sharp inhales and pained huffs every step he took to his room. 

“You sound incredible.” He let slip. He could have kicked himself, probably would have if Cas hadn’t responded in the way he did. Telling Cas earned him a louder moan. The man was trying to kill him – God – his voice sounded so wrecked.

Dean fell back onto the end of his bed, feet still on the ground needing to be more comfortable than the back of his bedroom door. He stroked himself to full attention, looked down at his cock in his hand, saw it slide in and out of his fist with some ease from his pre-cum. It would burn a bit but fuck it, he needed to cum with Cas like yesterday.

“Are you…”

“Yeah.” Dean interrupted. He sped up, wanting to match the smacking sounds that was echoing in his ear. The whole idea of Cas getting off to Dean was making him feel more aroused than he felt the entire time he was with Benny. 

“Wanna hear you.” The command was quiet but present, sending goosebumps over Dean’s body. He found himself slipping under the command, wanting to do whatever Cas told him. Moans and whimpers poured from his mouth as he brought himself close to the edge. Behind closed eyes he was picturing Cas on his bed, splayed out, naked, skin flushed, and lips swollen from catching his teeth on them.

“M’close.”

Cas had one more command left to give. “Cum for me Dean.” 

And fuck did he. A hip raising, breath catching, white spots in his vision orgasm ripped from him like he was exorcised right in the middle of his bedroom. His top was ruined, his hand was covered, and he couldn’t give one damn about it because he could hear Cas cumming, every vibration from his chest crawled into Dean’s ear, finding a new home in his wank bank.

Then the silence followed. 

He got his breath back, staring up at his ceiling reeling in what just happened. Sex brain had quietened down, reality coming back to him with each intake of new air. Cas wasn’t saying anything, neither was he. It was becoming deafening now. What had just happened hung in between them. One of them had to break it.

There was a shout on the other end of the phone. A child’s shout.

“Claire?!” Cas called out. Dean shot up out of the bed.

“Cas?”

The phone went dead. Fuck. He shot Cas a message asking if everything was ok.

Cleaned up, teeth brushed and in bed Dean’s phone vibrated.

Dean 21:12 <<all ok?

Cas 21:35 >>Yes, Claire wanted a glass of water

Dean needed to buy her a star in the sky as thanks for ending that phone call. He flipped over onto his side, thinking of what to send back. Cas bet him to it.

Cas 21:39 >>We’re ok though?

Dean 21:42 <<yeah course Cas…

Cas 21:44 >>Good. I value our friendship. I don’t want this to become between that.

The word friendship plucked a sore spot in Dean’s chest.

Dean 21:48 <<me too buddy…just sex brain making us do stupid shit…right?

Cas 21:52 >>Right. Goodnight Dean.

He buried his head in his pillow, trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to act like Cas’ friend when he knew what he sounded like when he comes. He needed to forget about Cas, had to for his own sake if he was ever going to keep him as a friend. If Cas just wanted friendship, he’d have to replace his fantasies and quick. To get over someone, he needed to get under someone else.


 

Dean underestimated his ability to forget things. Thursday, they exchanged four sentences, four max. Cas needed to get Claire home on time to see her other Dad. His usual hatred for the ex was replaced with gratitude that he wanted to spend time with his daughter. The less around Cas the better. Every syllable out of his mouth Dean could trace back to a noise he made the previous night.

Friday Dean had made last minute plans to bring Charlie to Amelia’s work to see the animals. She had been ecstatic giving him good Dad points and he was again glad for the less time around Cas as he was still getting over the whole “we jacked off to each other but you just wanna be friends” thing. He whisked her away pretty sharpish, not really even giving Cas a proper goodbye or wishing him a good weekend. There was some guilt in there, and he’ll probably hate himself a bit for it later but for the time being he was glad to be away from those blue eyes. 

On Sunday he dropped Charlie off to Sam’s to bring Lisa out on a date. He needed to get over Cas. This was a step to doing that. Refocus his energy on others. Benny was too attached to Cas and mainly involved fucking. Fucking men led to thinking about Cas. His date with Lisa was a date, a proper one, not one laced in sex. He brought her out to lunch then a walk in the park and they talked about being single parents and their kids because that’s what parents did. When he took her hand, she blushed, and it was cute. They were talking about their Thanksgiving plans when her phone started to ring.

“It’s Ben.” she answered the phone to her son and walked off a bit for some privacy. Dean took a seat on a nearby bench and took his phone out to check his own messages. He had one from Cas. God, he could not get away from him even when he tried. He refused to acknowledge how his whole being enjoyed seeing his name on his screen. 

Cas 15:09 >>We need to talk

Dean 15:28 <<kind of on a date atm…later?

Cas 15:30 >>Can you come over to mine when you’re finished?

Dean 15:31 <<sure

He slipped his phone back into his pocket. Lisa had returned.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

Dean stood up, took her hand back in his. “Yeah, why?” 

“I don’t know, you just look like,” she looked up at him trying to decipher his face. He wondered what she was picking up on. Dean tried to hide whatever he was feeling. “I don’t know, sad? Maybe I’m seeing things.” she shrugged, giving up.

“Trust me sweetheart, I’m all good.” He lied. He brought her in close, kissed her forehead because she was short enough for him to do that. She was stunning, she was sweet and funny, and every other adjective Dean could think of to describe a perfect person to date except Dean didn’t want to date. He wanted to indulge.

He thought she’d want a relatively PG kiss goodbye. He was wrong. Lisa pressed her chest against his and snaked a hand under his coat to get him closer. When he deepened the kiss, her breath hitched. She told him next time she’d drop Ben off to her parents so Dean could come inside. Dean wasn’t opposed to that idea. He needed to clean his brain of Cas and she’d do the job just fine. The last few months all he’d been able to think about was a 6ft man, she was far from that image. 

Driving off to Cas’ he could feel her gloss on his lips.


 

Cas let him in. He was in his weekend clothes. Dean tried not to pay attention to how soft he looked in his red hoodie and striped socks. The warmth of his house made Dean shuck off his hat, coat and jumper. Cas didn’t say much other than to sit down in the sitting room which he did, taking a side of the couch to hug. The other man disappeared for a brief moment and returned with two cups of coffee.

It warmed up Dean’s hands, the smell was strong, and he remembered how his whole sexual desire was triggered, by this damn coffee.

“How was your date?” Cas sat down on the other side of the couch. 

“Fine.” Dean replied. He noticed the lack of a certain four-year-old. “Where’s Claire?”

“At her Dad’s this weekend.” Cas answered.

To call the atmosphere between them awkward would have been an understatement.

Dean waited for Cas to say something. He was the one who wanted to talk. Dean was fine with living in pure denial for the rest of his life, fuck Cas out of his brain with anyone else who was consenting and fill a box with all his fantasies with the man and bury it in the back of his brain. He had a plan. It was a well thought out one. One he’d used many times before to get over other people in his life.

The silence eventually broke.

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Cas admitted.

He snapped his head to the side to look at Cas, shocked. “What?”

“Wednesday night,” he clarified, blue eyes locked in on Dean. “You’re all I can think about.”

He couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t expected this conversation to be like that. He half expected Cas to tell him to get over it, that it meant nothing, that he needed to stop moping around and avoiding him or anything other than Cas admitting that he couldn’t stop thinking about Dean.

Cas was looking at Dean like he hadn’t eaten a meal in weeks. It made Dean gulp audibly.

“Me too Cas,” he admitted. “I tried to forget about it, forget about you, went on a date with a woman just to forget but…”

Cas interrupted him with his answer. “You don’t want to.”

“I couldn’t.” Dean put his coffee mug down, taking his eyes off of Cas for a second, maybe two. In that time Cas had moved like a cat, swift and quiet to get to the other side of the couch were Dean was sitting, crowding into this space.

His hand on Dean’s thigh startled him. It made him tense in his seat. A rush of heat came over him shortly followed by arousal, like it was creeping out from under the surface to say hello.

“You sounded so beautiful Dean when you came for me.” Cas’ voice so close to Dean’s ear, so real and not slightly distorted from being on the other end of a phone line.

Oh God. His arousal was up, walking and talking now. Cock hardening in his jeans.

“Don’t say things like that.” he shook his head, not believing this was real. That this was happening. So long he thought about it, dreamt about it and he thought he lost all hope of ever getting it when Cas friend zoned him. Never thought he’d have Cas praising him on his couch, have him pressing himself to Dean’s side as much as he could.

“It’s true,” he moved his hand further up Dean’s thigh, such assurance and confidence in his movements. It was everything to Dean. Cas’ tone, dark and smooth, like a siren in the ocean so alluring. His breath warm on the side of Dean’s face. “I want to hear it again.”

He spread his legs on instinct, brought his arm around the back of the sofa to make space for Cas to get closer to him. Dean checked his watch quickly to see how much they could indulge in this moment before reality came back to them. It wasn’t enough time for a fuck.

“I have to pick Charlie up in fifteen min –fuck Cas.” He groaned when Cas pressed his palm to his groin. “If you wanna hear me cum, you might wanna get this show on the road.”

“Fine,” Cas pouted and stopped teasing, unbuckled Dean’s jeans, top button and zip to get to what he wanted. He wasn’t expecting to watch Cas get off the couch and drop to his knees in front of Dean. Christ. “How does a blow job sound?”

He moved his hands to put them somewhere useful, somewhere he wanted to put them for months. In the black mess of Cas’ hair. Cas looked up at him, eyes heavy, chapped lips parted and waiting for Dean’s answer.

“Sounds awesome.”

He didn’t need fifteen minutes. He didn’t even need ten. Cas gave him one hell of a bone shattering blow job. It was full of filth and skill and Cas’ mouth was so hot and his tongue so attentive and Cas didn’t have a gag reflex and took Dean so deep in his throat that Dean saw stars on the ceiling. Dean kept his hands embedded in Cas’ mass of darkness, pulling, pushing and tugging on the strands as he sang Cas’ name over and over and over. He came with a cry, loud enough because there was no one around that would hear him and Cas ate him up. 

It was better than Cas’ coffee.

He unfortunately had to go pick up Charlie, not unfortunate to go see his daughter, just unfortunate he didn’t get enough time to repay the orgasm or get up to much else other than the best blowjob he’d have in a seriously long time.

He was still hesitant leaving Cas, he wanted to stay, he wanted to talk about what just happened, where do they go from here, was this about to change everything. He dragged his feet towards the door to where Cas was with his hand on the handle ready to open it up.

“You need to go pick up your daughter.” Cas noted his lack of wanting to leave.

“I know, just…” Dean looked at Cas. The man’s hair was more of a mess than usual, Dean did that to him. Dean wanted to do more than that to him. “What now?”

Cas’ tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“This, us,” he pointed between them. “Whatever you want to call it.”

Cas narrowed the space between them, it felt nice how natural Cas was about it, how his hands went around Dean’s waist like they always belonged there. Dean’s hand fidgeted, undecided on where to rest them and ended up keeping them by his side. If he got his hands-on Cas, he’d no doubt be late picking up Charlie.

“How about we meet for lunch tomorrow?” 

Dean could swing that. He rarely took a lunch, worked straight through but this was a conversation worth having in person and without their kids’ arounds to distract them.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Dean agreed sheepishly. “Probably gonna need more than five minutes to hash this one out eh?”

“Probably.” Cas smiled. Dean loved when he made Cas smile, felt like winning the jackpot every time the sides of lips lifted because of something Dean had said or did. He really had to go but he had one more thing he wanted to do before he got to his car and had to put his Dad brain back online.

He lifted his fidgeting hands to Cas’ face, eyes narrowing in on Cas’ lips that were no longer chapped, the slightest glisten off of them after he licked his lips clean from Dean’s load. The thought of it made his hair stand to attention.

“Dean, you’re going to be late.” Cas was saying one thing, though his hands seemed to be doing something else entirely, pulling Dean into his space some more.


“I got five minutes.” He leaned his head in, they tilted in unison and closed the gap, lips touching. It was sweet and slow. Dean could still taste his cum on Cas’ tongue which made him sigh contently into the man’s mouth causing a stir in Cas to delve his tongue deeper, let Dean taste more and more till he wasn’t really sure who’s tongue was who’s anymore.

He was a bit late picking up Charlie. He made it up to her with ice cream.


 

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter Text


Bobby was more than surprised that Dean was taking his lunch break today.

 “You haven’t taken a lunch break in coming on four years,” He noted, leaning against the car Dean was working under. He could see Bobby’s boots near his legs. “What gives?”

He had spent the last fifteen minutes under the car, trying to figure out where the rattling noise was coming from that the customer was so insistent on hearing. He had tightened nearly everything he could think of hoping that would satisfy them. Dean rolled out from under the car.

“Meeting a friend.” Dean replied casually. He wasn’t lying. Cas was a friend. Friends had lunch together. It was a thing. People did that all the time. Didn’t make the nerves in Dean’s stomach settle any better. He had a been a butterfly farm ever since dropping Charlie off at pre-school.

“A friend?” Bobby was unconvinced. He took his hand out to help Dean up off the ground.

Dean wiped off the dirt off his hands with the cloth he kept in his blue overalls.

“Yeah Bobby, a friend,” he repeated the tone Bobby had used. “I have friends.”

Bobby still wasn’t convinced in Dean’s lunch break with his friend.

“You have family, you aint go no friends.”

He stuffed the cloth back into his overalls. It was coming on 12:45. He needed to get going if he was going to make it to Cas’ work on time.

“I do now, alright? So, can I take the break or not?”

“Take it, yeesh. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Bobby fixed his cap on his head.

Dean didn’t have time to explain himself and his outburst. He hoped with Bobby knowing him pretty much his whole life he’d pick up on the fact Dean wasn’t in the mood to be explaining himself. He would eventually, maybe, if there was anything worth explaining.

He slipped out of his overalls, hung them up and grabbed his keys to head off to his lunch.


 

Cas had sent him the address of his office building. He worked in the corporate side of town near his brother’s place. The buildings were new and flashy, mirrored glass sides and everyone wore suits and ties. Dean felt out of place in his casual clothes and no doubt he had some oil or grease on him somewhere. He kept well away from this side of town and with reason. The looks he was getting as he waited outside for Cas to show up was enough to send him in a bad mood.

Not that he was in a bad mood. He wasn’t, he was on edge, a little jittery and anxious about this conversation. He hoped Cas was on the same page as him but it’s hard to tell really. Dean wanted Cas, wanted him in lots of different ways, positions, scenarios etc. Keep the friendship, add sex to it, lots of great sex to it and maybe throw in some time away from the kids in there too. Nothing serious, nothing official just two friends with some seriously sexy benefits. It would keep things light between them and they’d cross other bridges when they came to them, if they even came to them. Dean was still hesitant as ever in letting someone meet Charlie in that way. The risk was too high and the possibility of it going south was always there, even with someone like Cas.

The revolving door to Cas’ building spun and out walked Cas in his suit and tie, trench coat billowing in the wind behind him. God could that man pull off a suit. His brain swarmed with what happened yesterday, how warm Cas’ mouth felt, how he held Dean’s thighs down to stop him from bucking up into it, that strength Dean wanted to see more of and hopefully he would if this was going to go the way he wanted it.

He spotted Dean amongst the suits and walked towards him. Dean had his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, nodding a hello to Cas instead of shaking his hand or hugging him, or whatever it was that friends did. He hadn’t really been in this context with Cas before. It was new territory for them. He didn’t need Cas knowing his hands were sweating so keeping them in his pockets was a safe option.

“Hello Dean,” Cas greeted him. “Sorry I’m late, my meeting over ran.”  

“No problem,” Dean pulled a smile, trying to play it cool. He surveyed the area, noting lots of healthy super food places to eat. “Where can a man get a burger around here?”

Cas nodded towards a direction and Dean stepped in line with him to walk down the busy street of hustling and bustling big wigs and corporate people. He wondered if he’d see Sam on his lunch break, hoped he wouldn’t. Last thing he needed was an interrogation from his brother on what he was doing on this side of town.

They turned down a quieter street, less suits, more casual wearing people, more colours. It seemed to be a more relaxed part of the business world. Dean spotted a neon sign that just had the words “BURGERS HERE” displayed and it made him chuckle.

“Ten bucks says I know where we’re going.” He nudged Cas with his elbow.

“You did say you wanted a burger,” He could hear the smile in Cas’ voice as he opened the door to the restaurant to let Dean go inside first. He stepped into the restaurant. A wave of heat hit him he was thankful for. He shivered as his body adjusted to the temperature, hands smacking together to warm them up. 

The place was nothing fancy, typical burger joint with red leather boots and checkered floors. It was busy enough, everyone on their lunch break but they managed to snag a booth near the window. A waiter dropped them off some menus. The only thing they had on the menu was burgers. This was Dean’s kinda place.

He scanned the menu, eyeing up the bacon cheeseburger and when they gave their order it seemed Cas was feeling one too. He got himself a non-alcoholic beer and Cas got a water. With the technicalities of their lunch out of the way it was probably time for one of them to talk about what they were really meeting for. If only he was brave enough to initiate. He started to pull at the label on his beer.

“You’re nervous.” Cas noted.

Dean scoffed, leaning back in the booth, trying to play it cool. “Nah, I’m good.”

“We’ve established you’re a bad liar.”

Right, of course. When they had phone sex and Dean was being turned on. He could tell Dean was lying with his voice, now he had the visuals to back up his claim that Dean was lying through his teeth. He shifted uneasy under the gaze of Cas.

“Fine. Maybe I’m a little nervous. You trying to tell me you aren’t?” He questioned Cas’ unwavering appearance. Unless his unwavering appearance was his way of holding his nerves in. Nervous was not typically something he had associated with Cas. Confused, bold, sarcastic, slightly dominating…those were more Cas’ forte.

“A little.” Cas admitted. That eased the tension in Dean’s stomach. He supposed he needed to treat this like a band aid and just rip it off.

“I wanna keep the kids out of this.”

Cas didn’t even skip a beat in replying. “Agreed.”

The tension eased up some more. That was the main thing that Dean had been concerned about. He had also been concerned his want in keeping it somewhat a secret wasn’t a sign that he didn’t want Cas. Cas made no sign that that was the case. After that it was smooth sailing. Cas and he agreed on pretty much everything. They’d continue as they always had, friends, and keeping their daughter’s friendship blossoming, then whenever the opportunity for more adult related things arose, they’d take advantage of it. It all seemed pretty simple and they were in the same boat about not looking for anything serious at the moment, their priorities were on raising their kids. This was merely a scratch they could both itch together, a scratch they wanted to itch together more importantly.

The waiter came back with their burgers. They smelled incredible. His mouth was already salivating over the cheese oozing out of the sides of it. When he took his first bite, he rolled his eyes into the back of his head and hummed with appreciation. He caught Cas smirking at him.

“What?” He asked, mouth full of food.

“Should I leave you and your burger alone?”

Dean chuckled, swallowing his bite. He had the immediate thought to brush it off, make some subtle innuendo that was on the tip of his tongue or brush it off completely. They weren’t around the kids though, meaning Dean could take the opportunity to try out their new facet of their friendship, blatantly obvious flirting.

“Think we both know what I sound like when I’m really enjoying myself.” He winked.

Cas didn’t argue with that.


 

It wasn’t till the day before Thanksgiving that they both could get away from their kids, over a week since their conversation. Over a week of standing in the pre-school yard, a week of playdates and having to keep his hands to himself. It was torturous to say the least. Claire was spending Thanksgiving with her other Dad meaning Cas had a free house. It was sort of hilarious, felt like being back at high school sneaking around behind parents but they were doing it with their kids.

Dean and Charlie were spending Thanksgiving at Sam and Amelia’s place so Dean asked if they could come over the day before to hang out and stay over. Charlie was excited for her sleepover at her uncle Sam’s place. They had arrived after pre-school, took Riot for a walk and then helped Sam make dinner once he got home. Charlie got to stir the pot and sprinkle the parsley over the garlic bread. Granted, it ended up being more parsley bread than garlic bread. It’s hard to say no to a four-year-old sometimes.

Dean scrubbed his teeth ten times to be on the safe side of not having too much of an herby mouth for his date, hook-up, sex sesh, whatever it was going to be. He hadn’t really thought to ask. All he got was a time. He dressed somewhat nice, one of his better blue flannels with a non-worn out pair of jeans. Sam was leaning against the doorframe in spare bedroom as Dean tied his boots up. 

“You seeing Benny again?”

He could lie to his brother, his brother who was a lawyer and would probably smell the lie a mile away or he could tell the truth to his brother, his brother who was a lawyer and would probably have a listen to a five minute argument on how much of a bad idea it was to sleep with your kid’s best friend’s Dad. His options weren’t great.

“Someone new.” He fastened his boot, pulled the jean over them and stood up to give himself a once over in the mirror. A shave wouldn’t have gone a miss, too late now though he didn’t wanna be late even if that tended to be how Cas and Dean operated as Dads, perpetually late to everything.

“You going to tell me about them?”

“Nothing to tell,” Dean grabbed his wallet and keys. “It’s not a date, more a…” he bounced his brows at his brother. His brother grimaced at the thought and decided not to ask any more questions about it.  Success, not completely lying and not completely telling the truth. He followed his brother down the stairs to check in on Charlie before he headed off.

Full up on carbonara from dinner Charlie was lying on Riot’s belly watching TV with Amelia in the sitting room. It looked like a documentary on pandas. He rounded their enormous sofa to give her a kiss on her head.

“You be good, ya hear me?” He mumbled into her mane that was draped over Riot.

She hummed a response, too engrossed in the pandas to talk to her Dad. He kissed her once more realising this would be the first time he’d not spent the night with her since she came into his life. That was an odd feeling to have. He was excited about seeing Cas and yet there was a tugging feeling in his gut to stay.

“Go, before you’re late.” Amelia pointed to the hall, not taking her eyes off the pandas.

Sam had his jacket ready for him. Great, now he was feeling reluctant to leave her. That worrying feeling in the pit of his stomach that something bad was going to happen. Was it irrational? Yes. Did that matter? Apparently not.

He took the jacket off Sam, slipped his arms into it. “You two gonna be alright with her?”

Sam ushered him towards the door, clearly understanding what was happening and that Dean needed to get out of here before he changed his mind. “We’ll be fine Dean now go, and you know, whatever.” He waved his hand aimlessly in Dean’s direction.

“You text or call me if…” Dean said to his brother over his shoulder as he stood out onto the porch.

“Yeah, yeah, we know the drill.” Sam closed the door in his face. 

He may or not have called his brother a dick under his breath. With a quick check of his watch he realised he was going to be late, shocker. He dashed to his car, hoping the short drive there would get rid of this niggling feeling of being a bad Dad.


 

The high school analogy rang true even as he walked up the steps to Cas’ house. The jitters, the butterflies, whatever you wanted to call them were moving their way inside of Dean. Along with the guilt of leaving Charlie for the night Dean was over thinking everything about this situation. He wondered if he should have talked to Sam before going ahead with this.

Bit late for that now idiot.

He rapped his knuckles on the door.

Cas opened it. He looked good, really good, in a loose white t-shirt, jeans and some more of his trademark striped socks. By the looks of his strung-out hair he’d just showered. Not the only one wanting to make somewhat of an impression.

“Sorry I’m late, I eh…” Kinda freaked out about leaving my kid for the whole night. “Anyway, sorry.”

Cas stepped aside for Dean to step in. He shrugged off his jacket, hanging it over the end of the bannister were the other jackets tended to live in Cas’ house. Dean looked around the place, like he hadn’t been in the house plenty of times before. It was better than looking at Cas who was undoubtedly eyeing up Dean with that confused, eye squinting head tilting adorable thing he did when he was trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Drink?” Cas asked.

“Sure.” Dean replied. On the inside he was elated, booze to settle the nerves was just what he needed. If he hadn’t of driven, he’d have downed a few beers at dinner to help him out too.

They went into the kitchen, Dean leaned against the counter as Cas brought down the whiskey from up above the fridge Gabriel had been looking for at Claire’s birthday party. 

“Breaking out the good stuff eh?”

Cas didn’t respond, just filled each tumbler with a double and slid it over to Dean. He downed it in one. It was smooth, slightly burned his throat making him hiss but it was needed. Cas was already pouring himself another. Dean slid his glass over to be refilled and he downed the following one Cas gave him too. That one burned less. A relieving sigh came out of him, the weight in his stomach coated with some decent whiskey would probably help things.

Cas put the glasses into the sink. “Better?”

“Much.”

Cas joined him in leaning against the counter, the slides of their bodies touching.

“You’ve never left Charlie for a night, have you?” Cas’ voice soft and tentative. This man could see through Dean like glass sometimes. It was a miracle Dean had managed to keep his crush hidden for as long as he did. He scratched his stubble.

“No and its honestly kinda killing me.” He admitted.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want…” 

“No, no I want to,” He moved in front of Cas. The blue eyes were too intense, so he decided on looking at the space between them as he slightly poured out his truth. “Trust me Cas, I want to be here,” His hand moved hesitantly to Cas’ waist. The soft fabric under his clammy hand helped ground him. “It’s just there is this other part that’s…”

The back of Cas’ hand touched under his chin for their eyes to meet.

“Making you feel guilty?”

Dean nodded. “Bingo.”

The hand under his chin moved, a thumb rubbing along his jawline, the sensation of his stubble grazing against Cas’ skin was soothing. He had always been a tactile person, as much as he fought against it, not wanting to show that side of him it was there living under the surface. Dean leaned into it, seeking more of it from Cas if he was willing to give it. The touch stopped him from running away with his thoughts and feelings.

Dean moved his head, pressed his lips to Cas’ palm.

“What do you want to do Dean?” Such an innocent question filled with so many options. Cas was going to let him stir this ship. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and be with Cas, wanted to get over this feeling by smothering it with a more intense one.

“I want you to take me to bed.”

Cas took his hand and led him out of the kitchen, up the stairs, a part of the house he had yet to see. The darkness engulfed them though he felt that Cas knew where he was going and kept close behind him. They passed a couple of doors till Cas brought him into his, the light from his en-suite cast a hue onto his double bed in the middle of the room. He could smell the shower gel, something earthy like pine or tea-tree moved its way into the simple bedroom. Their hands slipped away as Cas closed the door behind him leaving Dean at the foot of the bed. It looked soft, plush pillows and rumbled feather duvet. 

He ran a hand over it. His body twitched with wanting to sink into it, wanting the weight of Cas on top of him pushing him into the softness of the brush cotton sheets.

“Dean,” Cas’ hand reached for Dean’s cheek, pulling his attention. 

He went, turning his head to look at Cas. Their eyes flickered to each other’s mouths. Cas’ mouth that Dean had been thinking about far too often to be deemed healthy. He wanted them on him, needed them on him. A breath filled his lungs, on the exhale he let go of any other feeling he had been harboring other than the ones associated with Cas. When he paired it all away, striped it all back, all he was left with was pure desire for the man.

A desire that needed fulfilling over a week ago.

Dean grabbed Cas’ top, pulled him into his space and crushed his mouth against Cas’, hoping the frantic display would set the tone for what he wanted. When Cas pressed back with as much force Dean knew he had made the right choice and Cas was totally on board with some chaos. He licked his way inside, needing to taste Cas, spearmint and whiskey landed on his taste buds and a feverish heat permeated his very being because kissing Cas was everything and it was just the beginning.

A hand pressed onto his chest, stumbling him back to sit on the edge of the bed and away from those lips he wasn’t finished with. Dean took the top in his hand again, yanking Cas down to get them back instead of going with the top, Cas ducked his head through the hole and used the opportunity to take it off, leaving him bare for Dean to see standing in front of him. It was a smooth move he had to admit.

“Wasn’t what I was going for,” he licked his lips, enjoying what he was seeing. Cas was lean, the light from the en-suite casting shadows on his chest and stomach. “But this is, yeah…” Words escaped him as his hand reached out to touch the hair under his naval, dark and trailing down under his jeans. He noticed the bulge in his eye line, clearly, he wasn’t the only one in here getting hard from some frantic making out.

Cas let him indulge for a few seconds more before swatting his hand away. He went for his buckle and jutted his chin towards Dean.

“Strip.” The firm order rippled through Dean and he complied, tearing off his shirt and top like they had all of a sudden caught fire.

He wasn’t insecure by any stretch of the word however under the gaze of Cas he felt very much on show, lying naked on his bed. Cas made no incline to move, standing equally naked with his arms crossed over his chest. It felt like he enjoyed the view of Dean on his bed, the side of his mouth lifting a fraction. It was hot as fuck and made Dean run his hand down his body, wanting Cas to enjoy what he was seeing even more.

“You enjoying the view?” He asked, letting his fingers trail over stomach without much direction or destination. Cas’ eyes followed the movements of it. His gaze was heavy, slightly predatory. Dean widened his legs a bit, enough for Cas to slot into and took a hold of his cock. The tiniest of moans left his glistened lips from the contact. He watched Cas watching his cock slide in and out of his grasp. It felt like hours were passing between them.

God, this man was trying to kill Dean before he even got a chance to fuck Dean. He ran his thumb over his slit causing him to arch into it, chasing that feeling that stood the hairs on his body up right. He needed more, needed Cas. “C’mon Cas, get over here already.”

Cas obliged, crawling up the space Dean had made for him, pausing at his waist. A cold hand ran around his left flank, then down the back of his thigh and behind his kneecap in one smooth motion making Dean bend his leg, foot flat on the bed. He took his hand away from his cock, raking it through the darkness of Cas’ hair instead.

“You look good on my bed.” Cas planted a kiss to his hip bone, blatantly ignoring Dean’s erection that was lying there beside his head.

Dean scoffed at the remark. “And I’ll look even better with your dick inside of me.”

“What’s the rush?” He continued to kiss Dean anywhere other than where he needed his mouth to be. Cas’ right hand moved back up Dean’s thigh. The smooth palm against the softs hairs was slightly tickling Dean, making him squirm under Cas’ touch. He took a tighter grip of Cas’ hair earning him a groan from the man.

“The rush is I’ve been dying for you to fuck me for ages man, ages.”

Tell me,” Cas looked up at him, blue eyes blown. “How long have you wanted this?” 

Christ. Dean let his head fall back onto the soft covers, staring up at the ceiling as he felt Cas begin to suck a mark on his lower abdomen. He couldn’t watch and listen, couldn’t feel and talk. His free hand went to tug at his own hair, trying to not buck his hips, trying to let Cas do whatever he wanted because fuck it felt good getting this kind of attention.

Right, Cas wanted a freakin’ bedtime story.

“I mean I thought you were hot when I first saw you in the school yard but this – shit – this I’ve wanted, really wanted when you were telling me about fucking that guy and...” he was cut off with Cas’ hand finding his nipple, he groaned, craning his head back to lift his chest up higher chasing the hand that was moving away. Such a damn insufferable tease.

The sound of Cas’ lips popping off of his skin was obscene. He went on his elbows to see Cas admiring the mark blossoming. “And?” Cas asked, slightly smirking at Dean’s reckoning. Dean watched as Cas became friends with the inside of his thigh, all lips and tongue and fucking hell this was torture.

Enough with the one-sided teasing. Dean pulled Cas’ hair and this time he went, moving up Dean’s body till his hands were on either side of him. He wrapped a leg around Cas’ waist to grind their cocks together. Cas choked back a moan and met Dean’s motions, letting their cocks slide alongside each other.

As much as he instigated this frottage, he was slowly falling apart at the seams from it.

“And I couldn’t help thinking it was me,” he kept going, rambling off truths he had kept to himself for weeks “That it was me you were fucking against the stall, holding, choking, jacking off, filling up, I wanted it to be me so bad Cas.”

“It wanted it to be you too,” Cas admitted, voice cracking under the weight of what they were doing to each other. His hand went to grip Dean’s thigh tight. “I’ve wanted you for so long Dean, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this, wanted you.” 

“You have me,” It suddenly felt like declarations of a different kind. “You have me Cas.”

He moved his head to catch Cas’ open lips, licking them moist and delving inside without much finesse or skill. Cas broke the kiss, trying to get his breath back within the heat that was consuming them. He knew they could get off like this, just grind one out together but he didn’t want that. “Fuck me Cas, fuck me like I know you can.”

And with that Cas moved out of each other’s grips, to the top drawer of his bedside table to take out a bottle of lube and tear off a condom from the strip he had. This was it. Dean flipped himself, grabbing two pillows, one to put under his hips, the other for something to hold onto. The bed dipped again. Cas was kneeling behind him. The silence had returned, apart from Dean’s heart in his ears he could hear the bottle cap popping open, the sound of the lube being squirted onto Cas’ fingers.

“Spread yourself for me Dean.”

Dean obeyed, hands reaching back to get a hold of himself. He waited for Cas, waited with bated breath till a cold touch pressed against his rim, pressed inside making him hide his muffled moans into the pillow. A reflex he had grown accustomed to, having to keep quiet, he didn’t have to though and when Cas pushed in the second finger Dean didn’t hold back, letting the moan vibrate out of him, letting Cas know how good it felt.

His skin was coated with a sheet of sweat by the time Cas had his third finger in, making brutal moves inside of Dean, making him alternate between pushing back into them and grinded down into the bed.

“Another?” Cas asked.

Dean shook his head. He saw Cas’ dick, it was decent, thick, another finger might have helped but Dean kind of liked the slight pain of a stretch. When Cas pulled his fingers out, he let go of his ass and got himself up on all fours.

“Kneel up, hands on the bed frame.” Cas said.

The initial thought of being fucked into the bed was non-existent after that request because fuck yes Cas was about to ruin Dean like he’d ruined that dude on his date. Upright.

He scrambled inelegantly to the top of the bed, hands wrapping around the wooden bed head to steady himself. Cas was close behind him, the feel of his body pressed against his was heavenly. Dean let his head roll back onto Cas’ shoulder as his hands moved around the front of Dean, leaving trails of lube in his wake.

“You’re beautiful.” Cas whispered. Dean was too dazed out to retort the statement, being opened up always made him dopey.

“C’mon Cas.” He moved one on his hands back to get a hold of Cas’ cock, already wrapped up and ready to go. Cas responded to the touch by pushing Dean further into the bedframe. It made him smile knowing he was just as responsive to his touch. “Get this inside of me.”

Cas hummed as he ran his tongue along Dean’s neck. “Go on then.”

He moved Cas’ cock, moved it where it needed to go, and Cas let him. There was no point denying the fact that Cas was running this show now and whatever was happening it was because Cas was letting it. Not that Dean cared, he fucking loved it, craved it, to be taken care of, to be taken hold of, to be just taken.

When Cas pushed inside Dean inhaled sharply from the pressure, like the wind being knocked out of him, trying to grasp at something that wasn’t coming. He held on tight to the bed frame. Cas noticed it, pulled out, put more lube on his cock and went in again.

“Better?” 

Dean nodded. It was better, much better. The breath came, the stretch was there, the pain was the right amount and fucking hell Cas had his cock in Dean’s ass. This was happening, this was not a dream or a fantasy. This was real life and freakin’ awesome.

He kept going till he bottomed out. Cas’ forehead rested on Dean’s shoulder, his hot breath coming out short and quick, waiting for Dean to get used to the feeling. The pressure was immense, filling him up from the inside out.

“Move – please – you gotta move.” Dean pleaded.

And fuck did he.

Cas moved, moved with every muscle he possessed building up momentum till he was fucking Dean with enough force the bedhead started to hit the wall behind it. Dean held on tight as Cas drove himself into Dean, each thrust a new noise escaped him, noises he didn’t even know he could make, too fucked to care what he sounded like, whatever it was Cas seemed to appreciate them.

“I love the sounds you make,” Cas whispered. How his voice could be gentle, and his motions brutal was a mystery to Dean at that moment. “You’re so good for me Dean.” 

He shook his head, hiding from the praise in his elbow. “Cas, shut up, please I’m not…”

“So tight, so beautiful…” Cas continued. Praise after praise surrounding Dean till, he was a crumbling mess not sure which way was up and which way was Cas.

One thing he was sure of was that his orgasm was coming.

“Cas, m’close – shit I’m so close.” He stuttered out, head sliding from his elbow due to hanging low between his shoulders. Cas reached out to get a hold of Dean’s aching cock that had been neglected for far too long. He whined at the touch, at how there was so much Cas he couldn’t really keep up with it. He let himself open an eye to see Cas’ hand around his cock, like it was made for the man.

Cas’ other hand took hold of his chest, holding him back from the bed frame. This was it, what he imagined. What he wanted. Fuck it was too much for him, he started to falter, unable to hold on any longer. He let his head roll back onto whatever body part of Cas’ he could rest on.

There was a quiet wrecked voice in his ear. “Let go Dean.”

“I’m – fuck…” Tidal waves of pleasure washed over him as Cas pulled the orgasm from him. He could feel Cas faltering too, their orgasms aligning, cumming at the same time only made his orgasm that much better. Cas’ sinful noises were in his ear, his brutal thrusts slowing down to a grind. When they’d both spent as much as they could from each other they collapsed in a heap on the bed, limbs and cum and sweat all thrown down onto the sheets.

Dean was boneless, unable to move from what happened apart from reaching across to put his hand on Cas’ chest to have some kind of contact with the man who fucked him five ways from Sunday. Cas put his hand over Dean’s equally unable to move or comprehend what went on. The only sound in the room was gasping breathes.

Eventually his soul and his body realigned. The room came back into focus and Dean was sticky, seriously sticky. He shifted, wincing at the dull pain in his ass. Cas looked like he was drifting off to sleep beside him, eyes fluttering closed and mouth slightly parted. He didn’t register that Dean had slipped his hand from underneath his. It made him chuckle quietly.

He took the condom off of Cas, tied it and scooted off the bed to the en-suite to clean himself up and grab a cloth for Cas to wipe down before they went to sleep. Cas’ en-suite was flashy, fully equipped with a walk-in shower and rainfall shower head he needed to make use of. He checked himself in the mirror.

Hair a mess, eyes bright, lips a little swollen, cheeks pinked. He hadn’t seen such a doped-up sex face in all his life. The man responsible for it lying upside down on the bed, one arm hanging off and snores starting to come out of him. He never knew someone to go from a sex god to an adorable idiot in the space of ten minutes and yet there he was, pulling it off.

Dean could love him.

That thought should have terrified Dean, given other circumstances he might have. Thankful his sated state let him not freak out. Tomorrow was for freaking out, tonight he could have those thoughts. Thoughts about love, about letting someone like Cas into his life completely. Great friend, great Dad, great lay, great all round, he ticked every box he could think of when he thought about a life partner.

Leaning against the door he watched the steady rise and fall of Cas’ chest, how content he looked and comfortable. Dean didn’t have the heart to move him. Looked like they were sleeping upside down tonight.

He grabbed what he assumed was a blanket of Claire’s given its cosmic design and draped it over the both of them. Cas stirred, turning over on his side to get closer to Dean. His head nuzzled under Dean’s chin, arm around his middle. It made his heart swell with affection.

He kissed his hair. “Night Cas.”

The soft snores returned.

Yeah, he could totally love him.


Dean went from not wanting to leave his kid to not wanting to leave Cas. They had an epic morning, slow sleepy kisses that turned into slow sleepy hand jobs then more making out under Cas’ incredible shower and to top it all off Cas made him pancakes for breakfast, with bacon. Bacon.

They talked non-stop as they made breakfast. Dean frying the bacon while Cas whipped up the pancake mix. The coffee flowed as smoothly as their conversation did. They spoke about their families, their Thanksgiving plans, their jobs, what their childhoods were like. It seemed they both made a point to talk about the good moments, not wanting to sour their time together. Dean was on board with it, he did have good memories of growing up peppered in-between the not so good ones. Cas did too, being the youngest of four brothers he had lots of stories of what he and his brothers got up to growing up.

It was sex filled domestic heaven and he didn’t want it to end. 

He kept having this fleeting image of the girls running into the kitchen at any moment in their pajamas demanding orange juice. Dean would remind them about manners and Cas would pour them some juice, kissing their mess of hairs asking them how they slept. It ached him.

So much for some lighthearted sex without the extra baggage.

He seriously needed to talk to Sam.

One night with the man and he felt he was falling fast.

The way Cas looked at him while he inhaled his pancakes made him think he wasn’t alone.

More frantic making out was happening at the door Dean was supposed to be opening for the past five minutes. Every time one of them broke the kiss, the other protested claiming just one more kiss, one more touch till the other gave in and they claimed each other’s mouths again. He had already come this morning but Cas’ mouth on his neck and hands on his ass were doing things to him, things he didn’t have time for.

“Cas – I gotta go.” He said between kisses.

“Then go,” Cas replied, pulling the collar of Dean’s jacket down to get at a piece of skin he hadn’t become friendly with yet. “The doors behind you.”

He sucked the skin into his mouth, making Dean hit his head on said door behind him. It let it play out for a few more seconds, then pushed Cas away from him, not wanting a hickey that would be on show. He did have some that weren’t which was looking forward to inspecting when he got the opportunity. Cas marked up good, like he’d wanted.

Cas gave him everything he wanted and then some.

“Alright, I’m going now, for real this time so keep your damn hands to yourself.” He pointed his finger at Cas, showing he was being serious. Cas huffed but agreed, putting his hands behind his back to dramatically restrain himself. He scoffed, clocking where Claire got her attitude problem from. 

He went to open the door, unsure when they’d get to do this again, hoping sooner rather than later. Their lives were hectic balancing work and a kid. A secret relationship, or…whatever it was they were on top of that was hard to juggle. He knew it would be easier to just let the girls know, except it was way too soon and too massive of a thing to drop on a couple of four-year-old. 

One night with the guy and this was what he was feeling, how the hell was he going to cope a month from now? Two? He had to come clean before it got too much, before he nose-dived into this and Cas wasn’t there with him. He had to know if he needed to pull the eject button on this whole thing before he let himself go in order to let Cas in. That thought scared the crap out of him.

“Dean?” Cas noticed he had yet to leave yet, trapped in his own thoughts.

“This is more than sex for me Cas.” His eyes were on the door handle instead of the man he was saying this too. He couldn’t really cope with whatever look was on Cas’ face if it wasn’t a good one.

The response was quiet. “Me too.”

He looked over his shoulder, Cas was staring at the ground not wanting to look at Dean either. Their confessionals hanging in the air and unsure where to go with it. It terrified him but at least he wasn’t alone in his fear. This was big for them, there was no point denying that. What they did now with this information was anyone’s guess. They couldn’t just jump headfirst and ride away into the sunset. It was complicated. It wasn’t going to be solved today though. They needed time to think about it, think about what it meant.

He mumbled some sort of a goodbye and walked away with a hell of a lot more problems than he showed up with.


 

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Thanksgiving complete, Charlie was tucked in bed, Amelia clocked out early too for work tomorrow which left Sam and Dean the last two standing. He had a belly full of food and Sam managed to grab the good beers, none of this low-calorie crap Dean was used to drinking around Sam’s place. He twisted off the caps and handed his brother a cold one.

“Cheers.” Sam clinked the neck of his bottle against Deans.

“Happy Thanksgiving man.” Dean replied and took a seat on the sofa next to Riot, resting his feet on the coffee table in front of him.

Now they were alone, he could talk to his brother about what happened that morning, and last night and the last couple of weeks or months depending on how far back Dean wanted to go with this. He knew his brother could tell something was off about him and that Sam had been patient all day, waiting for the right moment to bring it up or until Dean found the balls to bring it up himself. They were in sync like that, even since the last two or so years they’ve lived apart. It’s hard to break that kinda bond.

He took a breath. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“I’m shocked.” Sam smirked over at him, taking a sip of his beer.

Dean glared at his brother before continuing with their chick flick moment. “Who I was with last night it’s eh…” he paused. Wow this was harder to get out than he thought. His hand started to slip on the bottle he was holding from the clamminess. 

“It’s serious?”

“It could be,” Dean clarified. “And I’m kinda freaking out over here about it.”

Sam shifted his body to put all his attention onto Dean. “Do they not feel the same way?”

“He does, or at least…I think he does.”

“You think?” Sam questioned.

“I was leaving his place this morning and we kinda had this…moment I guess where I admitted I had feelings for him, and he kinda agreed.”

“Kinda?”

“Christ Sam, you gonna be repeating everything I say?” Dean spat out.

“If you’re gonna be this vague about it then yeah.” Sam replied with as much gruff.

He leaned back into the sofa, sighing audibly. Feelings were hard for Dean, admitting them were even harder. Sometimes it was easier to admit them to people who didn’t know him as well as his brother did. Sam knew Dean inside out, back to front, upside down so anything Dean admitted Sam knew the full extent of that admittance and the years of baggage that came with it. He saw the layers of shit that Dean went through because Sam went through it too.

Their lives weren’t easy. The lives they ended up living meant letting people in was not something they could do easily. Letting people in meant letting people down or worse, the people ended up hurting the brothers more than they could realise. It took years for Sam to find someone to settle down with and Dean well, he never settled down with anyone. He’d never let anyone in out of fear of fucking it up. He could still hear his Dad’s voice in his head sometimes reminding him of it.

You’re a letdown Dean, always was, always will be.

Even if Dean knew that it was just the bottle talking, that when they lost their Mom, they kinda lost their Dad too it didn’t make it hurt any less. Those words sank in and take root inside of Dean. If it weren’t for Sam and Charlie, chances were Dean would have turned out just like his old man. A drunk, making his way to an early grave and croaking it before he turned 45. He was on that way before Charlie showed up in his life if he was being honest with himself, not even Sam was going to save him. 

You’re a waste of space boy, good for nothing, no one is going to love you. Look at yourself.

“Dean?” Sam noticed his brother was drifting away. Dean blinked, his vision was blurred, eyes glassed over. He sniffled, shaking the memories away. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Dean looked away from his brother. “Just peachy.”

He wasn’t fooling Sam. 

“Don’t let the bad memories stop you from making good ones.”

Dean scoffed. “Get that from a hallmark card?”

“Dean,” his brother’s voice full of unimpressed tones. “I’m serious. I mean you pretty much said the same thing to me when I started falling for Amelia. You remember right?”

He did. Sam ringing him up in the middle of the night, telling him he’d just ran over a dog. Dean had been more concerned about the state of Baby than the animal that his brother hit. The following days Sam had been going to check up on the dog, though Dean soon coped on that he was also checking up on the hot vet that was in there.

When Riot came home, Amelia had started popping in to check on the dog, not trusting to two men with the newborn baby to do a good enough job. Eventually his brother got the nerve to turn their dog walks into an actual date. He had been scared shitless to even ask her out, let alone admit that he had feelings for her and then when Dean knew they were in love he had to almost kick his brother out of the house telling him to go find a life and stop living in Dean’s.

Get yourself some happiness Sammy, you deserve it.

“I think I could make some good memories with him. I really do but I have Charlie to think about,” Dean pulled at the label of his drink. “And he’s got a kid too. It’s complicated and what if it doesn’t work out and...”

I don’t know how’d I’d live with myself if I let Charlie down.

“Charlie’s a strong kid Dean.”

Dean took a sip of his beer, focusing on the bubbles in his mouth rather than the swell of emotion he always got whenever Sam said something about his daughter. Sam never minced his words. The sincere one out of the two of them. If Sam thought Charlie would be alright, Dean believed him. “It’s like you’re in my mind sometimes Sammy, I swear.”

“I have known you my whole life.” Sam said. Dean couldn’t argue with that. “You gonna tell me about him then?”

Dean did. He told Sam everything, left out gory details that he and his brother never tended to talk about but kept in the chick flick moments knowing Sam secretly enjoyed them. The more he spoke about Cas, the brighter he felt. A fond smile found its way onto his face as he spoke about baking with him, about how Charlie anointed him Commander of Cookies, about the picture the girls drew of them all together like a family. The more he spoke, the more he realised that he had probably been gone on the man for ages. It just took him being intimate with Cas for it to be made clear for him.  

“If he’s as great as you’re making him out to be then go for it.”

Sam made it sound so easy. Maybe it was easy. Maybe it didn’t have to be complicated.

“Daddy.” Charlie’s sad tone came in from behind him. Riot perked up hearing her voice.

Dean looked around, saw her standing there in her favourite polka dot pajamas, hair a mess from tossing and turning in her sleep. “What’s wrong kiddo?”

“I had a bad dream.” She mumbled. 

“C’mere,” He waved her over to him and she shuffled her feet around the sofa. Dean picked her up with ease and she curled up in his lap, head on his chest. He patted down her mane to stop it from tickling his face. She smelled like coconuts, smelled like home. “You wanna tell me about it?”

She shook her head.

“You wanna chill with me and Sam?”

She nodded.

Dean kissed the top of her head, wrapped his free arm around her back to keep her snug and safe from the bad dreams even if they were in her head. He never wanted her to feel bad things, never wanted anything bad to happen to her. He wanted her to have a great life. She could have a great life with Dean. She could have an even better one with Cas and Claire, maybe even a perfect one.


A few days later Dean woke up to a message from Cas. They hadn’t spoken since he said goodbye the day before Thanksgiving. Today was the first day back at pre-school for the girls and they couldn’t avoid each other any longer. Not that Dean was necessarily avoiding Cas, just the realisation he wanted this man in more ways than sex and telling the man were completely different things.

For one, Cas might have decided in the three days apart that it wasn’t a good idea, that it wasn’t really more than sex for him, and that Claire had already gone through a separation and he wasn’t about to put her through another one. Each one as reasonable and plausible as the next. Charlie didn’t have to see her parents split up due to the mere fact they were never together in the first place and as far as she was concerned Dean was the only parent she had. The real story will come out eventually when she’s old enough to hear it. Claire on the other hand saw and experienced the split of her parents. 

That didn’t stop Dean’s stomach doing a nice 180 when he saw Cas’ name pop up on his screen.

Cas 07:07 >>Have you looked outside your window?

Dean stretched in the bed, cracking his joints and wakening up his muscles. His jaw almost locking from the yawn. He kicked the duvet off, swung his feet onto the carpet underneath them and was about the go check out his window when Charlie came bolting into the bedroom.

“IT’S SNOWING!” she shouted over and over, bouncing up onto the bed. It was too early for this kind of enthusiasm. Dean hadn’t even had his coffee yet. The sun hadn’t even fully risen yet and somehow, she was a fire ball of energy. He got off the bed, reached for his daughter and stuck her under his arm to carry her out in search of caffeine.

“DADDY IT’S…”

“I heard you the first ten times now can it till I get some coffee in me would ya?”

 She wriggled under his arm. “But I wanna build a snowman!”

He walked down to his kitchen, noticing that it was in fact snowing out the window. It must have come down hard during the night. The sheath of white on the ground untouched and thick. He wondered if the kids had school, if he had work.

It was a snow day after all, and the first of the season.

She started to jab him in his side, knowing he was ticklish, and he put her down to stop the onslaught. Dean got down to her level, trying to contain her excitement. He needed to check his emails before committing to anything.

“Cool your jets for a second kiddo, capishe?”

“Capishe.”  She huffed.

He closed the chat window with Cas and opened up his emails. One from 7am, reminding parents that the pre-school was still open despite the weather. Education continues no matter the weather apparently.

Well, that sucked.

He looked down at Charlie who was bubbling with the excitement of snow. She was old enough to enjoy it now, spend the day in it, snowball fights and snowmen and snow angels and anything else snow related they could think of. Spending the day in school would be a waste. An idea came to mind.

He messaged Cas, hoping he had the same idea as him.

Dean 07:23 >>you see the email?

Cas 07:25<<…what email…

If he was in front of the man, he’d have kissed him.

He walked down the back of his kitchen, looking out into the tree house that looked practically out of a fairy tale with the snow around it.

Dean 07:27 >>you two wanna come to Moondor for the day?

Cas 07:29 <<Commander of Cookies and the Knight of the Galaxy would be honored

Totally kiss him, multiple kisses.

Dean 07:31 >>I’ll let the queen know she’s expecting guests

If Charlie had been excited before about snow, she was downright hysterical about the idea of spending it with her best friend and not having to go to pre-school either. Dean was also pretty excited about the idea and a tad nervous. Hopefully they’d get a minute to themselves to talk about what had happened, till then it was Dad mode in the snow.


 

Cas and Claire walked over from their house instead of driving out of safety. When Dean opened the door, Claire bolted in seeing her best friend who she hadn’t seen in four days, the longest they’d been apart since the beginning of pre-school.

“I missed you!” Charlie said, hugging her friend tight.

“I missed you more!” Claire replied with just as much enthusiasm.

He turned his head from the kids to Cas, who was standing in front of him still in his snow gear, thick black jacket, fur rimmed hood and grey woolen hat. His eyes were bright and staring at Dean with an equally bright smile. It warmed Dean’s insides, making his stomach do that nice flip that it did earlier.

“You miss me?” he asked, most joking.

“I did.” Cas replied, completely sincere.

Any nerves Dean had about Cas not wanting more of him vanished in that moment.

“Daddy! Let’s go, let’s go!” Charlie bounced up and down in her spot. Claire joined in, reaching for Cas’ hand and yanking it towards the back garden. He went, stumbling a little, jolting him back to reality.

Dean followed the three of them into the kitchen and out the back to the garden. The cold hit his face. The rest thankfully covered by his many layers. Claire let go of her Dad’s hand and ran into the inches of fresh snow. Their laughter filled the garden. The white contrasted starkly against the girl’s purple and blue snow jackets. They weren’t used to walking in the snow, let alone running in it. The pair of them stumbled, face planting into the cold white icy powder.

“Ah crap.” Dean mumbled, he and Cas ran into the snow after them on instinct, reaching to grab the nearest kid to hoist them back up to their feet. Last thing they needed were the girls to catch their cold before they even got to enjoy the snow.

“Easy there, sweetheart.” Dean had Claire by her elbow, making sure she was steady on her feet before he let go. She smiled mischievously, wiping the snow off the front of her coat and throwing into Dean’s face.

The shock of it almost made Dean swear. “You little…!” he shook his head, getting the snow off of him. He could feel it still resting on his eyelashes. Cas and Charlie were laughing at the show. Dean glared at them, reaching down to grab a lump of snow and hurling it at them, catching both Cas and his daughter in the snow spray.

“You attacked the Queen!” Cas shouted, dramatically brushing the snow off of Charlie.

“What you gonna do about it Commander?”

“Get him!” Charlie pointed at her Dad.

It wasn’t Cas he had to look out for, Claire full on body tackled him, making him fall back into the snow. “I got him! I got him!” she called out pressing him into the snow. Next his daughter came, jumping onto him too making him cry out in pretend agony. The two girls had him pinned and then Cas stood up over him, blocking out the light. He could see a ball of snow in his gloved hand, smile as wicked as his daughter’s.

“Don’t you dare you – no, no!” Dean watched Cas smash the ball above his head, the soft snow almost floated down over his face.

“Quick,” Cas pulled the girls off of him. “To Moondor!”

He got up on his elbows to see Cas running towards the tree house holding the girls in both his arms. Their squeals of pure joy were the best sound he’d heard. Once safely secured in the treehouse, Cas turned back to Dean, eyes playfully predatory like, making a come-hither gesture with his hand.   

Christ, Dean might actually love him.


A snowball fight and two snowmen later the girls were lying on their backs in the snow making their fourth set of angels. The smiles on their faces never dropped, even when their legs started to get tired from trudging around in the snow. Dean assumed the snow angels were their way of getting their energy back.

“They’re definitely getting snow down their backs.” He noted, watching the pair of them wiggle around from the deck. “Probably should bring them in after this.”

Cas was sitting on the bench. “I brought a spare change of clothes for Claire.”

“You can throw her in the bath, warm her up.” Dean joined him, shoving his hands into his pockets. Now that they had stopped running around, he was starting to feel the chill.

“You need to warm up too.”

“You offering?” Dean asked, smirk plastered on his face.

Cas looked down, shaking his head in a smile. He enjoyed catching Cas out, keeping him on his toes especially as they both knew when push came to shove Cas could render Dean mute with just his voice. He was about to continue in this flirty fashion when the girls came clambering up the deck, noticeable shivering, teeth chattering.

“Daddy, I’m cold.” Claire stuttered out. Her clothes wet from the melting snow.

“Me too.” Charlie moved closer to Dean.

The Dads got up, ushering their daughters to bring them in from the cold.

“I’ll get the bath going,” Dean said closing the door behind him. “If you wanna cook us something? I don’t know what I have in…”

Cas opened up his fridge like he lived there. “I can put something together.”

The girls were shedding their snow jackets, shoes and hats. The snow had gotten into their clothes. Dean shrugged off his own jacket, hanging it on the back of a chair. He picked his shivering daughter up into his arm. “You’re freezing, why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Too much fun.” She chattered.

“I think I’m gonna dump them in the shower. That cool with you Cas?”

“Yes, the bath will take too long.” Cas agreed. He had taken out some mince, onion, tinned tomatoes. “I’ll make bolognaise.”

“Good stuff.” Dean looked down at Claire who was staring up at him, holding onto her body trying to warm up. He put his hand out, wondering if she’d take it. She had been hesitant around him, but the snow fight seemed to open her up to him a bit more. Claire took it a step further, lifting both her arms up in the air.

Dean had to refrain from externally screaming that Claire was letting him hold her. This was a big step for her, and he wasn’t going to scare her away. He bent down and hoisted her up to his other side. Her arms wrapped around his neck, head on his shoulder. 

He blinked back whatever was happening to his eyes. Keep it together Winchester.

He looked over at Claire’s Dad, who had seen the whole thing. Cas had this odd expression on his face, awe or shock or amazement. Dean couldn’t place it. He could place the glassed eyes though. Cas was welling up that his daughter was letting Dean hold her. Dean smiled at him, knowing the sentiment and what it represented. She was beginning to trust him. Claire who had spent so long keeping Dean at distance, sassing him and refusing to give him an inch. The only adults she let in being her own Dads.

“You ok Claire?” Cas asked, wanting to check in with her daughter.

 She nodded her head on Dean’s shoulder. The smell of Cas’ house hit him hard. He gulped back the lump in his throat, taking the girls away before he actually did shed a tear at what was happening.

Kids ruined any emotionless façade Dean had.


The girls had almost fallen asleep in their spaghetti bolognaise, clearly the fun in the snow had taken it out of them. Cas brought them into the sitting room while Dean started to clean up the dishes. There were leftovers in the pot, enough for Dean’s lunch tomorrow which he was stoked about. That was one mean bolognaise, not only could the guy bake he could also cook. He was starting to wonder did his man have any faults at all.

He heard footsteps of said man come back into the kitchen.

“They’re asleep.”

“No surprise there.” Dean stacked the dishes on the dryer. Cas came into view beside him, leaning against the countertop, arms folded over his chest. He was wearing what looked like an old college jumper, worn out to a dull navy. The words Stanford across the front of it.

“Sammy went to Stanford.” Dean pointed out. “You might have been finishing up as he started…well, actually that’s me assuming we’re the same age. Are we?”

“I’m 35 next month.” Cas answered.

“Wow, and you still have all your teeth?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I have…” he turned to look at Dean who was silently chuckling. “Of course. You’re being sarcastic.”

Dean scoffed. “Nothing gets past you, old man.”

A silence fell around them. They were alone, no kids around, first time since the last time they’d said goodbye and admitted their feelings to one another. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit nervous standing next to the man he kinda wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Kids were good buffers, with them away Dean was homing in on all things Cas. His hands, beautiful and soft, nothing like Dean’s rough ones. Black mass of hair permanently a bit of a mess. Strong arms exposed now with his sleeves rolled up, arms that held Dean down, held him up and back against his chest as he…fuck it.

He dropped the glass into the sink and took his suds covered hand to Cas’ face, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. A kiss he hoped showed how freaking much he wanted this man, wanted this life and everything in between. Cas froze for a split second then kissed back, chapped lips pressing with as much enthusiasm into Dean’s. He felt his whole body heat up, how one man, one kiss could do that to Dean he wanted to spend his whole life figuring out.

Hands found their way to Dean’s waist, pushing him back into the countertop and Dean went, always would go where Cas wanted him to be. The man pressed himself close to Dean’s chest, hands grounding them in this stolen moment while their kids slept across the hall. His wet hand moved back, getting a grip of Cas’ hair to tilt his head, deepening the kiss some more, wanting more, wanting to taste Cas if he’d just…

Cas broke the kiss. “Dean,” he pulled back, voice disconcerting.

Panic flared in Dean and he pushed the man away from reach. Cas stumbled, hand on his chest where Dean had forced him back. Had he read this all wrong?

“Don’t say my name like that,” Dean shook his head. “Don’t do this to me man.”

“Do what?”

He couldn’t even look at Cas. “Whatever it is you’re about to do, don’t Cas, please, I…”

Love you.

Cas took a step back into Dean’s space, using the back of his hand to tilt Dean’s face up to him. Dean didn’t fight it, needing to rip this off like a band-aid, just get it over with. The sooner Cas broke it off, the sooner Dean could try to get over him and every fantasy he had. Cas didn’t want him. Of course, he didn’t. Why would he? Dean was nothing and Cas was everything.

“You’re shaking Dean,” Cas held his chin gently. “I’m worried I’ve somehow caused this.”

He wished he could laugh. He could laugh if he wasn’t worried about opening his mouth and saying something he’d regret for the rest of his life. Too many people Dean cared about were struck with his venomous words in the past. He wasn’t going to subject Cas to the same fate even if the man was crushing his heart in this very moment.

He was going to kill Sam for telling him to open up to some happiness.  

“I don’t know what I’ve done, tell me what’s happening. Talk to me." 

Dean inhaled, exhaled a shaky breath. “I thought-” Crap his eyes were welling up, he closed them, not wanting the tears to fall. “I thought you wanted me.”

“I do.” Cas replied without taking a beat. “I want you Dean in more ways than you can possibly imagine.” He leaned his forehead against Dean’s continuing his confession in hushed tones. “I don’t even think want is the correct word to describe it anymore, want makes it seem like I have a choice and I’m not sure I do anymore. It’s as if every choice about mine and Claire’s life has vanished, leaving only you and Charlie.”

He felt the tear drop to his cheek, not really sure what he’s hearing, reeling Cas’ words over and over. That didn’t sound like he was saying no because he wasn’t saying no, he was saying yes. Yes, to Dean and to Charlie and to a life with them. The shock of hearing his name in that tone had sent Dean spiraling when he didn’t need to spiral. Cas wasn’t going to leave. He was going to stay.

“Dean,” Cas linked his other hand around Dean’s. “Dean, please, say something.”

He opened his eyes, vulnerable green meeting earnest blue. Waiting for an explanation.

“I don’t let people in Cas, and I let you in and when you broke the kiss, I freaked that you didn’t…anyway I guess it doesn’t matter because you do. That’s that you’re saying right?”

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Dean squeezed his hand in Cas’ then let go to wipe his eyes, pressing the heel of his palms into them. His heart still going a hundred miles an hour from his freak out. He hadn’t panicked like that in years. “Sorry for the freak out.”

Cas’ voice was quiet. “I’m sorry I caused it.”

He couldn’t have Cas being sad, feeling guilty for something that wasn’t his really all his fault. Dean brought the man in for a hug, arms wrapped around his shoulders tight. He kept them there till Cas brought his around Dean’s back, mirroring the grip. His hand moved to hold Cas’ head. “I’ve got baggage man. I can’t say it won’t happen again but just know that 9/10 times it won’t be because of you.”

“And the 1/10 times it is me?”

Dean pulled back to get a look at Cas’ face. It was less sad. “I’m sure we’ll come to blows one way or another. I’m stubborn and you aint no angel.”

“Castiel is actually the name of an angel.” Cas replied, a small smile made its way to his face.

It made him laugh. “Of course, it freaking is.”

The laugh woke the girls up. Dean didn’t mind and neither did Cas. They had time to figure it all out and no doubt Cas’ baggage would come into the mix at some point. There wasn’t any rush to this, to them. They were both in it for the long haul and that was good enough for Dean. It was like Cas said, he didn’t see a future without him.


 

Notes:

Finito!

There might be an epilogue from Cas' POV but don't wait out for it.

Did you enjoy all the adorableness as much as I did? They're so cute it hurts.

Sorry about the angst at the end but its Dean Winchester, when isn't he a little angsty?