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[flair:News] byleth wants a bagel

Image description: A picture of a Tweet from byleth @fishfan69, posted on 17 Horsebow Moon at 02:21. The Tweet reads “i want a bagel”.

 

[flair:News] byleth pet his cat today

Image description: A picture of a Tweet from byleth @fishfan69, posted on 19 Horsebow Moon at 14:29. The Tweet reads “i pet my cat today”. Attached is a picture of a hand, presumably Byleth’s, on the back of a black cat with pale green eyes. The picture is somewhat blurry.

 

[flair:News] BYLETH GOT HIS BAGEL

Image description: A picture of a Tweet from byleth @fishfan69, posted on 20 Horsebow Moon at 03:42. The Tweet reads “bagle”. Attached is a picture of a bagel.

 

sleep_man_was_taken 263 points | 1 hour ago

astonishing. i’ve compiled all his tweets from the past few days and reached one conclusion and that is that byleth subsists on petting his cat and consuming bagels. his improved performance in the game should, therefore, be directly correlated to the frequency at which he pets his cat and consumes bagels. i will attempt this method myself and report back with results.

hit_it_ferdie 347 points | 40 minutes ago

> Linhardt sleepman you are an irreplaceable and vital asset to the Black Eagles which is why I have to ask: what, pray tell, the fuck are you on about

 

-

 

[fodsu!] Black Eagle Strike Force

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 4:17 PM

lin has no joke been passed TF out since like 4 this morning

 

Petra866 | Today at 4:17 PM

That is… not healthy.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 4:18 PM

RIGHT i keep tellin the guy that he should get up early and work out like me

but all i get is “ururhghghrhghg” and “fuck off caspar its 6 in the morning”

also we have entirely too many bagels in our fridge rn

so if ur literally ever in need of a bagel u kno who to call

 

Aymr | Today at 4:19 PM

How am I supposed to respond to that.

Well, while I’m here, I suppose I should let everybody know that Byleth will be playing with us for an upcoming scrimmage.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 4:20 PM

REAL SHIT?

also 4:20 ay its the weed number lol

 

Vestra | Today at 4:20 PM

Our victory is paramount. I trust that you all are aware of this.

Because of the way the scrimmage is organized, every member of the Black Eagles is expected to be present and on time so that members can switch in and out of the room as needed.

@dont talk me im tired That especially goes for you, Linhardt. You are on thin ice as is. Show up on time. @youve stooped low enough for me to reach Caspar, I am counting on you to ensure that Linhardt is awake for the match.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 4:21 PM

u got it boss

 

-

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 5:39 PM

h

 

Petra866 | Today at 5:40 PM

He rises!

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 5:42 PM

.

im gonna be honest

i have zero memory of last night

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 5:43 PM

For the love of the goddess read the backlog

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 5:43 PM

and if any of u tell mw ti read tje backlog i will end y

.

ferdinand

Sent imahealerbut.png.

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 5:44 PM

this is a thrilling saga

linhardt has just gone offline

will he discover the bagels

i need updates i’m on the edge of my seat here

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:45 PM

SEIROS I HOPE HE DOES

IVE FED SO MANY BIRDS TODAY

THEYRE GOING TO BE SO FFFUCKING CHONKY

AND WE STILL HAVE

LIKE

HALF A FRIDGES WORTH OF BAGELS

 

byleth | Today at 5:46 PM

what

 

Aymr | Today at 5:46 PM

Oh, Byleth. It’s good to see you back.

 

byleth | Today at 5:47 PM

why do u have

so many baglels

i dont think

u need

that many bagel

s

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:48 PM

Sent isittoolatetoswitchroommates.jpg.

its labeled “research materials”

do u want one

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 5:49 PM

he… went offline

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:49 PM

@byleth u should join the black eagles 4 da turney

ur not getting bagels from the lions or deer now r u

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 5:50 PM

I should hope the eagles have more to offer than bagels!

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:53 PM

IMPORTANT UPDATE

lin has discovered the bagels

he just

he went to the fridge right

he opened

the fridge door

 

Vestra | Today at 5:54 PM

Are you incapable of condensing what you want to say in less than five messages?

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:54 PM

no the FUCK i am not thank you for asking

so anyway lin opened the fridge door

looked at all the bagels

looked at me

held the stare for a good twenty seconds

and wordlessly returned to his computer

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 5:55 PM

what is he doing now i have to know.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:57 PM

he

is

just sitting there

Sent heisjustsittingthere.jpg.

HE DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 5:58 PM

What a profound disappointment

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 5:58 PM

RIGHT

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 5:58 PM

Is he… at least doing something on the computer?

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:01 PM

idk i think hes mapping sth??

 

Vestra | Today at 6:02 PM

I wager his time would be better spent practicing the mapset that was just released.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:02 PM

wh

is he mapping a VINE

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 6:02 PM

WHAT VINE

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:03 PM

ok u kno the one where its like

there are trumpets n shit blaring and at one point a man comes in and yells IM GOIN TO JAIIILLL

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:04 PM

@Vestra ive lost this much control over my own life already what makes u think i can commit to practicing anything

@youve stooped low enough for me to reach im hungy can we get takeout

 

Petra866 | Today at 6:05 PM

Linhardt, would it not be a better idea to eat one of the many bagels you bought instead of spending money on dinner?

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:06 PM

another unfortunate reminder of my complete lack of impulse control

@youve stooped low enough for me to reach change of plans can you throw a bagel in the toaster

 

byleth | Today at 6:08 PM

whens the scrim

 

Aymr | Today at 6:08 PM

The scrimmage will take place on Horsebow 14, 17:00. I will send an ingame message to the Black Eagles at 16:45 so none of you are caught off guard.

 

Aymr Pinned a message to this channel.

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 6:10 PM

Fear not! I, Ferdinand von Aegir, will arrive promptly without requiring the aid of Aymr’s reminder!

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 6:10 PM

hello yes i’d like to report a lost child he’s in a fodsu chat but thinks he’s at the ren faire

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 6:11 PM
as a matter of fact, I do have a lovely sword that I once obtained from a Ren Faire!

Sent sword.jpg.

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 6:11 PM

of course you do

anyways i’ll be there!

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:12 PM

bagel has been YEETED into the toaster

also can i stream

 

Aymr | Today at 6:13 PM

It’s not a particularly private match. Knock yourself out.

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:13 PM

SWAG

this stream is going to be lit as HELL we got BYLETH we got the SQUAD lets FUCKING GO

 

Petra866 | Today at 6:13 PM

I thought “swag” was slang of the past. Is that not the case?

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:14 PM

no ur right

also caspar if ur gonna stream can u do it w the door closed u get rly loud i can hear u thru my headphones

and keep the property destruction to a minimum thanks

 

Petra866 | Today at 6:15 PM

The fact that that needs clarification gives me concern.

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:15 PM

yea no caspars a different beast

byleth hit that one like 350bpm stream on funeral of flowers that no1 else has ever hit

and he broke a shelf in half

and then mbe 3 mins later when byleth hit that cross screen jump sequence

u kno the one that singlehandedly bumps the map up to 9*

he ripped the shelf off

did the goddess bless us humans with physical strength so that this could happen

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:18 PM

LISTEN MAN YOU DONT KNO HOW FUCKEN HYPE THAT WAS

THAT SHIT WAS INSANE YOU HAD TO BE THERE

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:19 PM

i in fact was there

right outside ur room actually as u threw ur entire chair thru the door

but i will concede that it was a very exciting time so i do not blame u

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:19 PM

YEAH U GET ME

this is why were homies. this is why were bros 4 life

 

dorothea xoxo | Today at 6:21 PM

are

are you... content with this, lin

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:22 PM

yes

hes a dumbass

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:22 PM

HEY

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:22 PM

however

consider

hes my dumbass

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:23 PM

HELL YEAH I AM

 

Eagle 3 | Today at 6:23 PM

And in the end that is all that truly matters!

The real Eagle and Lion Tournament was the friends we made along the way! :)

 

byleth | Today at 6:25 PM

caspar what abt ur bagle

 

dont talk me im tired | Today at 6:25 PM

caspar. is that smoke i smell

 

youve stooped low enough for me to reach | Today at 6:25 PM

OH FUCK