Chapter 1: Woah hey what's this
Chargebolt: So Tokoyami
Tsukuyomi: Nope. We shall not continue on this.
Chargebolt: BUT THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT
Tsukuyomi: NO IT’S NOT?????
Alien Queen: What’s this uwu
Chargebolt: Wait I thought this was private message
Serophane: Hang on
Serophane: Is this perhaps another
Serophane: FREAKY QUIRK FRIDAY
Tsukuyomi: No, it is not.
Shouto: FREAKY QUIRK FRIDAY
Monkey King: Please not this again
Deku: Freaky Quirk Friday!
Candy Man: It’s Monday
Alien Queen: EVERY DAY IS FREAKY QUIRK FRIDAY IF YOU’RE NOT A COWARD
Ingenium: Please do not cause a ruckus with your activities!
Uravity: HECK YEAH CLASS PREZ APPROVAL WHOS THE VICTIM THIS TIME
Tsukuyomi: Betrayed by my own kin >:v
Earphone Jack: Lmao I thought we agreed no more Freaky Quirk Friday after The Incident
Serophane: We do not talk of The Incident
Red Riot: What’s the incident I wasn’t there
Prism: It’s The Incident you buffoon
Red Riot: Sowwy what is The Incident
Froppy: You don’t want to know
Creati: I did warn you all
Red Riot: EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT BLEASE
Ingenium: I forbid any discussion regarding The Incident! We have class tomorrow and we don’t need any more people questioning their existence!
Can’t Stop Twinkling: And exactly how would you stop such talk, mon ami?
Uravity: Get sassed Iidaddy
Ingenium: Please never call me that again!
Serophane: Iidaddy uwu
Ingenium: I can and will block both of you!
Chargebolt: Get sassed bitch
Deku: And before we completely get off track FREAKY QUIRK FRIDAY
Prism: H*ck fucking yes
Candy Man: Why did you censor heck but not f*ck???
Prism: H*ck is a scary word
Red Riot: Is no one gonna tell me what the hell happened last F.Q.F
Alien Queen: No
Alien Queen: WHAT ARE WE TESTING TONIGHT BITCHES
Tsukuyomi: Nothing. This will be a peaceful night without any sort of embarrassment, especially any attaining to me.
Chargebolt: Chill it’s not that big of a deal
Tsukuyomi: Excuse you but my pride is at stake here
Serophane: Yo what are we even gonna do
Chargebolt: Get Kouda to see what Tokoyami’s pet bird thinks of him
Uravity: Wait you have a pet bird
Earphone Jack: I expected more considering the past FQFs we’ve had
Uravity: I’m not the only one who didn’t know Tokoyami had a pet bird right
Monkey King: I don’t think it’s possible to top The Incident
Red Riot: WHAT IS THE INCIDENT
Creati: You would regret knowing once you did
Anima: @Uravity Get snubbed
Serophane: THEY HERE
Anima: Uh they is here hello
Candy Man: Please tell us what Tokoyami’s bird thinks of him
Tsukuyomi: Please don’t my compatriot
Can’t stop Twinkling: Local Goth Bitch Fights to not be exposed to a group of dumbasses curious about what bird thinks of him
Anima: I’ll be down in minute
Serophane: @Tsukuyomi open your window I’m about to vault down
Chargebolt: Bruh that’s 3 whole ass floors
Serophane: Bruh I know
Ingenium: I’D ADVISE YOU DO NOT DO SOMETHING SO CARELESS PLEASE
Uravity: Local dad worried over his child attempting to vault out of window on a 5 story building
Prism: FBI OPEN UP
Tsukuyomi: I’d rather be euthanized, thank you
Monkey King: It’s just a bird it can’t think anything that embarrassing about you
Tsukuyomi: Excuse you but his name is Edgar Allan Crow you cretin
Earphone Jack: Does that make you Edgar Allan Hoe then
Alien Queen: HAHAHVD
Froppy: News report what’s going on?
Chargebolt: Sero slammed into the window
Serophane: No yuo
Tentacole: I can't believe we're meant to be pro-heroes in a few years
Earphone Jack: What does Edgar Allan Crow say Kouda
Anima: He complained about his name because he’s actually a raven
Anima: And he called Tokoyami a Whiny Bitch
Anima: But then said that he has good food and pets him nice
Prism: Ashido is still on the floor cry laughing
Alien Queen: BYIACMZM
Froppy: Tokoyami’s probably flushed in embarrassment lol
Serophane: He dont look liek he is
Earphone Jack: He has feathers of course he doesn’t you concussed doorknob
Red Riot: Concussed doorknob
Monkey King: Quick question how did you even get a raven
Tentacole: I fed him once while at Tokoyami’s room and now he won’t stop coming back
Tsukuyomi: You cursed me this way
Anima: Edgar said you’re a dork
Prism: Local student forgets all language accept the word oof
Deku: Kouda would your quirk work on Tokoyami?
Anima: Nope not on human brains
Creati: How about Principal Nezu then?
Creati: He is technically not human but has the intelligence of one
Anima: Uh I don’t want to know
Anima: I can barely look him in the eye in hallways without having a panic attack I’m not going to tell him to do anything
Serophane: Nezu scarse the shizz;e stikcs utta mee
Candy Man: What in the fresh hell
Red Riot: He should probably go to bed
Serophane: Im not frickch tirde mna
Candy Man: Maybe you should go to the nurse’s office?
Serophane: Thts fur wimps
Deku: Was that an indirect insult or?
Serophane: Wus cracka lackin
Serophane: Ur bones
Deku: Take a shot every time Shouto says oof
Ingenium: PLEASE NO DRINKING IN THE DORMS, YOU ARE ALL UNDERAGE AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMING ALCOHOL
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Calm le fuck down mon ami
Prism: Stop mixing Japanese and French in the same sentence
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Jamais you bitch
Chargebolt: Yep it’s bed time for you
Sero- Phil Swift
Jirou- Aux Cord
Phil Swift: What the frick frack happened last night
Kirishimmy: You don’t remember
Aux Cord: You yeeted yourself into a window
Phil Swift: I thought that was another really fucking weird dream I didn’t think it happened
Homosucc: IT SURE FUCKING DID
Phil Swift: That explains the headache
Bakubro: I’m sorry but you fucking WHAT last night
Kalimari: Dude you would have seen it if you hadn’t gone to bed early like a grandpa
Bakubro: Shut the fuck up nerd you look like bootleg Pikachu
Kalimari: 1/10 I’ve heard that so many times before its lost all creativity
Kirishimmy: Bakubabe if anyone is a nerd here it’s you
Kirishimmy: I mean you go to bed early without fail every night, never skip class and you’ve got the best grades out of all of us
Aux Cord: Baku looks like a jock when he’s really a nerd
Homosucc: Mido looks like a nerd when he’s really a jock
Kirishimmy: A rivalry made in heaven
Kalimari: The entire Izucrew are jocks
Bakubro: The entire WHAT now
Aux Cord: Yo where the frickity frack are you all
Aux Cord: I’m literally sat in class with Bakubitch and you four aren’t even here yet
Bakubro: YOU WANNA FUCKING DIE EARS
Aux Cord: 1/10 no creativity and loses all intimidation when I can see you typing it from across the room
Aux Cord: Class starts in 5 minutes, bitches
Homosucc: Aha I’m gonna be late
Phil Swift: YEET
Tsu- Tsuyu later
Tsuyu later: So Ochako if you used your quirk on a certain someone and I yeeted them out of the earth’s atmosphere
Tsuyu later: Would that be illegal?
Iidad: Must I remind you that this discussion does not encourage hero-like behaviour!
Icythot: What if they did it outside the school when they don’t need to be acting like heroes?
Iidad: You’re not helping!
Icythot: I’m not trying to
Yaomom: Say Iida, is it actually murder if Tsuyu happened to yeet someone away who Uraraka had used her quirk on without Tsuyu’s knowledge? And that someone flew away to the point where they could not be saved?
Izuwu: I think that’s manslaughter
Urarara: But can they really be called a man if they’re a lil bitch
Icythot: Lil bitches don’t get rights
Izuwu: Manslaughter or Bitchlaughter, both are still punishable with prison time
Tsuyu later: But what if they didn’t know it was me? Who would they punish?
Yaomom: Not really… that’s just a crime being unsolved
Urarara: Nope it’s a loophole
Izuwu: Please stop plotting Mineta’s murder
Yaomom: Well we never explicitly said it was M*neta’s, you came to that conclusion yourself
Urarara: And I think you would only do that if you thought he deserved it too
Izuwu: Don’t twist my words I’m trying to be good here
Iidad: While I do not agree with M*neta’s behaviour, we cannot decide his punishment for his actions! That is up to the teachers!
Icythot: The bitch still shouldn’t get rights
Tsuyu later: He’ll lose rights when he goes to prison
Izuwu: We don’t know for definite that he will go to prison
Tsuyu later: Look me in the eye and say that again
Icythot: @Urarara Where you at hoe the rest of us are here
Urarara: On my way to slap some name-calling bitches
Icythot: Am I bitches?
Izuwu: Are you okay???
Icythot: Izuku we have been dating for how long now and you think I’ve ever been okay?
Yaomom: Did End*vor change his credit card pin?
Tsuyu later: Can’t you just
Tsuyu later: Happen to glance over and memorise his new pin
Tsuyu later: And then you can buy us stuff again
Icythot: Yes but that means I have to spend time with him to actually see him use it
Iidad: This is illegal I’ll have you know!
Tsuyu later: We know
Tokoyami- Two in one
Shoji- Big Cryptid
Ojiro- Tail pun
Satou- Captain Diabetes
Kouda- Snow White
Whomst’d’ve: @Tail pun
Whomst’d’ve: @Tail pun
Whomst’d’ve: @Tail pun
Tail pun: I’m eating my cereals leave me be
Snow White: Uh Isn’t it just cereal without an s?
Tail pun: If you’re a heathen
Whomst’d’ve: How the fuck has your spine not instantly snapped from the weight of your tail
Big Cryptid: How do you even come to that line of thought?
Tail pun: How do bees fly
TWINKling: Sheer willpower
Snow White: The laws of physics
Whomst’d’ve: BUT HIS SPINE DOESN’T USE ANY LAWS OF PHYSICS
Big Cryptid: How are you not blind if your retinas are totally transparent
Whomst’d’ve: My doctor told me that I absorb light kind of so that probably
Snow White: How does Aoyama use his laser to fly if his laser is just energy and energy has no force
TWINKling: Well mes amis it has to do with the laws of
TWINKling: ✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ* G A Y *･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ✧
Captain Diabetes: Fair enough
Tail pun: This is why we’re failing physics
Two in one: What dark prospects have I happened upon this dreaded day
Whomst’d’ve: Hahaha what are you saying
Two in one: You ask but I shall not answer, not even if you wrung my neck and hung me like game murdered for the pleasure of the corrupt
Captain Diabetes: So no answer
Big Cryptid: Did you forget to take your meds again
Two in one: Oh yeah brb
Snow White: How’d he even forget it
Big Cryptid: Well as Hannah Montana said, no one’s perfect
Big Cryptid: Correction: no one is perfect except Aoyama
Whomst’d’ve: Hey Aoyama do you think that if shot your laser at me would I absorb it cos its light or would I just fucking die
TWINKling: Well there’s only one way to find out!
Captain Diabetes: DON’T TEST THAT
Tail pun: Can y’all please not die, it’s only Tuesday
Big Cryptid: @Tail pun @Whomst’d’ve @TWINKling @Two in one You have about 5 minutes until the bell goes for first period
Tail pun: I’m eating though
TWINKling: That’s not enough time to get my face pretty!
Whomst’d’ve: Mr Perfect who?
Captain Diabetes: 4 minutes left
Whomst’d’ve: Aaahhhhhh FUCK
Chapter 2: When in doubt, have a war between cults
Some stuff happens and yeah. Happy Tuesday
Whoop whoop say hello to another chapter of me basically shitposting through these characters
Idk how long until the next chapter but it won't be as short of time as this one due to me changing and swapping some scenes around so everything flows better :) I say that like I have any idea of how to pace or organise a story when reality begs to differ
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Mineta- Bob and Vagene
Kaminari- Assault and battery
Sero- Hero Santa
Bob and Vagene: Wait are you gay?
Hero Santa: I’m slightly offended you ever thought I was straight
Hero Santa: Like what is even the slightest bit straight about me?
Bob and Vagene: Idk you seem interested when I talk about girls and stuff
Hero Santa: I’m interested in the fucking tea not your opinion on tits and how Goddamn thirsty you are
Bob and Vagene: Oh
Bob and Vagene: That makes more sense now
Assault and battery: Ayyy what’s up my broski
Hero Santa: Not much hbu bruh?
Bob and Vagene: Did you know Sero was gay
Hero Santa: You’re not meant to just go around exposing people’s sexualities
Assault and battery: Yeah that’s bad what if I was homophobic
Bob and Vagene: I just thought it was sort of weird
Bob and Vagene: Wait are you gay as well
Assault and battery: I’m bi uwu
Bob and Vagene: What’s that?
Assault and battery: I like a multiple genders yo
Bob and Vagene: That’s a thing?
Assault and battery: Yup
Bob and Vagene: I thought it was either you’re straight or you’re gay?
Hero Santa: Binaries are for chumps
Assault and battery: Plus you don't even have to like anyone you can be asexual and/or aromantic and junk
Hero Santa: To pan people gender straight up doesn't matter
Bob and Vagene: I have no idea what any of that is
Bob and Vagene: I’ve never wanted to be gay so why would I learn about it
Hero Santa: We don’t have enough time to unpack all of that
Assault and battery: Just at least learn what bisexuality is pls
Uravity: Do you ever just sigh to yourself because you just can’t be straight for 5 seconds
Shouto: Only every day of my life
Earphone Jack: We kind of already know Shouto
Uravity: WAIT THAT WAS MEANT FOR IZUCREW CHAT
Deku: Please stop
Monkey King: I’m pretty sure the entirety of our class is lgbt+ in some way so you don’t have to worry about us being homophobic or weird about it
Uravity: Omg that’s such a relief
Uravity: Wow I can’t believe my gay-dar failed me like this how did I never realise
Alien Queen: Today is rat-bitch exclusion day Y’ALL
Creati: Whom? I only know my 18 decent classmates
Froppy: Yeetus Deletus
Deku: Please don’t start the plotting again
Anima: I guess they can’t plot if there’s no one to plot against?
Alien Queen: Rt
Earphone Jack: Rt
Prism: Y’know who a real mvp is?
Prism: Shoji for keeping him in check
Alien Queen: Thank you big man, I owe you my uwus
Tentacole: Cool thanks
Tsukuyomi: (He’s being super bashful rn)
Tentacole: Why must you do this to me
Tsukuyomi: Vengeance for your treachery last night
Candy Man: I love the irony of how you’re the youngest yet one of the most adult like out of all of us
Chargebolt: Wait YOURE THE YOUNGEST???
Can’t stop Twinkling: uwu
Red Riot: Put that uwu away young man!
Can’t Stop Twinkling: YOU’LL HWAVE TO MAKE ME ENFOIWÉ òwó/▄︻̷̿┻̿═━一
Red Riot: P-pwease I’ll do anythwing \owo\
Creati: Then perish
Earphone Jack: Aijaklcajo
Creati: I blame Kaminari, he’s turning me like this
Chargebolt: That’s fair
Prism: I got whiplash from how fast the subject changed
Ingenium: Why can I smell smoke from the common room?
Prism: Ow there it is again
Uravity: Where have you been for like the entirety of this conversation
Ingenium: Studying in the common room of course!
Serophane: The subject? Gone
Red Riot: uwus? Never happened
Chargebolt: Smoke? Forgotten
Alien Queen: Hotel? Trivago
Froppy: Tenya the smoke
Ingenium: Right! Why can I still smell it?
Anima: That might be us in the kitchen
Candy Man: Yeah our bad
Alien Queen: What are you even doing?
Candy Man: Seeing if Shouto could cook a cake since the oven is still broken
Prism: Is it edible?
Candy Man: The outside is black but maybe if we somehow managed to dig to the centre of the tin there could be something salvageable?
Anima: It’s a big maybe
Prism: That’s a chance I’m willing to take!
Alien Queen: I’M COMING TOO
Ingenium: Ashido please refrain from sliding down the halls using your quirk!
Alien Queen: NYOOM
Alien Queen: Regrets
Prism: It tastes awful
Candy Man: Correction: it tastes like charcoal
Monkey King: I’m pretty sure it actually is charcoal
Monkey King: How did you even manage to go so wrong
Shouto: Idk fire I guess
Alien Queen: I blame Baku he broke the oven
Prism: I blame Kiri for embarrassing Baku to see what his quirk would do
Red Riot: I blame Ura for suggesting that for FQF last week
Earphone Jack: On a different note who here has the hardest slap
Deku: That’d be either me or Satou with our quirks activated
Earphone Jack: How much energy is needed to cook cake batter
Deku: Sorry but I’m not punching a cake tin
Candy Man: Yeah I think we’ve wrecked enough of the kitchen already
Earphone Jack: But it’s for research
Earphone Jack: Don’t you live off this sort of shit Mido?
Deku: Usually but I don’t want to get my arm covered in cake mix
Deku: Or explain how I broke my arm while trying to punch a cake until it’s cooked to Recovery Girl
Creati: Theoretically, if someone could exert enough energy through one slap that could cook cake batter to its solid form, it would only cook the top half, leaving raw cake batter under the cooked surface
Earphone Jack: Drat
Earphone Jack: You’re so smart Momo
Creati: Thank you. That means a lot to me coming from you, Kyouka
Chargebolt: @Serophane Bruh do you smell that in the air?
Serophane: The smoke or the gay?
Chargebolt: The gay
Serophane: There’s so much of it bruh
Chargebolt: I know bruh
Shouto: I love my boyfriend
Froppy: We know Shouto
Red Riot: Rt if you love your date-mate
Uravity: Like a sucker punch to the gut
Alien Queen: Oof
Earphone Jack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ab8BOu4LE
Tsukuyomi: Unfortunately, we all single
Can’t Stop Twinkling: tuwut
Froppy: You didn’t think that through did you?
Red Riot: My bad
Earphone Jack: And that’s why gamers shouldn’t have rights
Chargebolt: You make a compelling argument
Froppy: But you didn’t actually make an argument
Earphone Jack: I’m sorry Lucky Frog Goddess
Froppy: You shall be spared
Chargebolt: Wow God really is merciful
Uravity: I can feel God in this chat tonight
Can’t Stop Twinkling: That is terrific but what’s the word for a liquid holder?
Anima: You mean a tank?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: No you drink from it
Red Riot: You can drink from a tank
Tentacole: Physically yes, but morally?
Ingenium: Do you mean a cup?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: No not that!
Can’t Stop Twinkling: It’s on the tip of my tongue I should know this!
Uravity: … Your teeth then?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: NOT LITERALLY
Can’t Stop Twinkling: I FEEL LIKE IT BEGINS WITH A B BUT THAT’S PROBABLY WRONG
Monkey King: Is it a bowl?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Not that!
Can’t Stop Twinkling: You can drink tea from it!
Monkey King: I mean you can still drink tea from a bowl if you’re desperate
Candy Man: Why the heck are you using bowls to drink tea?
Monkey King: I was desperate
Creati: Do you mean a teacup?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: You also drink coffee from it!
Creati: So a teacup
Tsukuyomi: I’m sorry but what heathen drinks coffee from a tea cup
Earphone Jack: Shut up you drink coffee through a STRAW
Tsukuyomi: Because I physically have to.
Tentacole: Or do you actually?
Tsukuyomi: We’ve already been through this yes I do
Can’t Stop Twinkling: A MUG
Can’t Stop Twinkling: That’s it!
Prism: You forgot the word for mug?
Can’t Stop Twinkling: I speak three languages shut up
Chargebolt: Hmmm bonjour croissant je see un petit connard
Chargebolt: That means hello I’m a gamer
Creati: It really doesn’t…
Chargebolt: That’s what Jirou told me
Earphone Jack: Ha aha you have no evidence of that
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Please, none of you ever attempt to speak my language again
Froppy: Or what
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Hm?
Froppy: Or what French man
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Or become the dirt I walk on
Froppy: Bold of you to assume you’ll exist in my next world
Uravity: @Can’t Stop Twinkling You dare disobey the Lucky Frog Goddess?
Prism: @Froppy You dare sass the Sparkle God?
Serophane: You fiends
Serophane: This means CULT WAR
Froppy: If you hurt my cult I’ll sue you
Tentacole: Or I guess you could say she’ll
Froppy: Your days are numbered
Tentacole: Oh dear
Shouto: Better start the sacrifice then
Tentacole: Wait that’s not very ideal
Ingenium: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY SACRIFICES OF UNWILLING STUDENTS!
Shouto: I volunteer
Ingenium: AND WILLING STUDENTS!
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Calm down mon ami we’ll do an offering instead
Uravity: Of blood
Tsukuyomi: How about we use juice as a substitute instead of sacrificing Shoji
Froppy: Yeah that works
And so they made a hideous concoction of juices for their makeshift Gods
Oh ye this is the start of how I get rid of Mineta from the fic. I don't hate him too much (I just think he's annoying and a brat) but I REALLY didn't want to write him. So now he's going to start being approximately 9 times more problematic to the point where he get's cancelled. This is only the beginning
Aoyama is very fun to write. That's all folks
Chapter 3: owo
Hmmmm did I do a bad? Or was it a good?
Fun fact a couple nights ago I was up writing a shitty Sero angst fic on impulse for self-indulgent reasons and I didn't stop until 2:30 :v
Also thanks loads to all you bastards leaving me comments and kudos and junk I never thought this would get the attention it's getting so fast :) Now I just hope that I didn't give a different impression in the 2 chapters that's different from the rest of what I've written
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Mineta- Bob and Vagene
Kaminari- Assault and battery
Sero- Hero Santa
Hero Santa: So what’s the tea today madlads
Assault and battery: HERE’S
Hero Santa: THE MOTHERFUCKING
Assault and battery: TEA
Bob and Vagene: Gay
Hero Santa: Me
Assault and battery: Same but bi
Bob and Vagene: No I think I’m a bit gay
Bob and Vagene: Like I’m bi too
Bob and Vagene: There’s too many fish in the sea to be restricted to just one sex
Hero Santa: Dude what
Bob and Vagene: Y’know dudes are hot as well
Assault and battery: We both have personal experience in knowing that
Hero Santa: This is GREAT just as long as you don’t start being weird about it
Bob and Vagene: Y’know you have a nice ass Sero
Hero Santa: OKAY we’re done here
Serophane: I think Mineta just got worse
Chargebolt: No one is safe
Earphone Jack: How could he possibly get worse?
Chargebolt: Apparently he realised he doesn't just like girls
Monkey King: I don’t see what’s wrong with him being bi or somewhere on that spectrum
Chargebolt: We don’t mean that’s the bad thing
Chargebolt: We mean that now he’s going to harass EVERYBODY
Deku: You guys aren’t trying to screw us over are you?
Serophane: Bro this is Mineta we’re talking about
Serophane: I don’t see how I’m supposed to make a prank out of this
Froppy: Oh no
Prism: Oh no
Translation? Just call it the trans chat. No. Please stop adding to the chat name!:
Tsuyu- Trans Frog?
Trans Frog?: We’ve got a problem
Transparent: It’s the grape
Transgression: What about him
Trans Frog?: He’s likely going to start harassing us again
Transgression: I hope he likes being yeeted
Transonic: Please refrain from yeeting one of our classmates!
Transparent: My bras are gonna start disappearing again aren’t they
Transparent: That only stopped after I started being open about being trans
Transonic: If you happen to lose any personal items then please tell a teacher or at least one of us so we can get someone to solve the issue!
Transparent: Thanks Iidaddy
Transonic: Please do not call me that!
Froppy: I guess we’ll all just have to deal with this now
Froppy: We have before
Uravity: We shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of shit though!
Froppy: I don’t see what we can do about this though, Mineta isn’t the sort of person to change
Uravity: He can’t just have the right to harass us just because that’s ‘how he is’ though! We shouldn’t just have to stay quiet and tolerate it!
Uravity: He’s a piece of shit and he needs to learn to not be and if we continue to just accept his behaviour then he’ll always think it’s okay!
Froppy: I never thought about it like that
Uravity: I can’t stand seeing you have to suffer because of him and then you just stay silent, we need to do something about him
Creati: Very well said Uraraka
Anima: Um where is he right now?
Candy Man: He’s just walked into the kitchen
Candy Man: I swear if he makes an innuendo about cakes
Candy Man: Nm he just got some juice
Can’t Stop Twinkling: The cult-juice?
Candy Man: What
Can’t Stop Twinkling: What
Ingenium: It has come to my attention that Mineta has recently came out and as much I disapprove of his behaviour towards our female classmates, I accept whatever orientation and/or gender expression he will present!
Ingenium: I have experience in knowing that it is not always an easy journey learning to accept something about yourself you previously thought otherwise, so as a homosexual, homoromantic trans-man I feel personally responsible to congratulate him on his journey to accepting himself!
Chargebolt: He literally learned that Bisexual was a thing yesterday my dude
Ingenium: His short journey then!
Red Riot: He’s not even in this chat anymore
Ingenium: I thought this chat was surprisingly free of his influence!
Monkey king: Yeah he got kicked
Alien Queen: Man that was so long ago
Monkey King: That was last week
Alien Queen: Man that was so long ago
Serophane: I’ve been so paranoid he’s going to hit on me again
Earphone Jack: Welcome to our world
Serophane: You have my upmost respect
Serophane: I have no idea how you go through this everyday and not go fucking crazy
Creati: You get used to it after a while, unfortunately
Serophane: Y’all can have all my uwus
Serophane: Making a trip to Nurse’s office cause I feel sick and haven’t taking my stuff for my raging anxiety
Ingenium: Please remember to use the correct dosage!
Serophane: Of course Iidaddy
Ingenium: Please stop calling me that
------- has added Aizawa to the chat.
Aizawa: I would like to personally apologise for the mix up in medication, I’ve had mine relocated to a different cabinet to prevent any more mistakes from happening
Serophane: It’s cool papa
Earphone Jack: Do you want me to do your eyeliner before you die
Serophane: Yes pwease I want to be on fleek
Anima: @Aizawa If you don’t mind me asking how did you get into this chat
Aizawa: Hatsume added me
Aizawa: I’m leaving now this is a bit weird
Uravity: Goodbye anxiety papa we will miss you
Shouto: There goes the only father figure I’ve ever known
Deku: Oh mood
Red Riot: Are y’all genuinely okay?
Red Riot: You two should probably go to therapy
Ingenium: I agree that is a very valid idea Kirishima!
Red Riot: You too Iidad
Red Riot: You know what you ALL need to go to therapy
Red Riot: Me and Bakubabe have been going and we’ve been doing loads better mental health wise
Uravity: Can’t, too much of a broke bitch
Aizawa: I’ll speak to Nezu about getting you all booked in. You have all been through a lot, especially for first years
Aizawa: Mental health is a major problem for pros and it’s better to solve your current issues now than to let them build over time
Can’t stop Twinkling: He back!
Tentacole: I thought you left?
Aizawa: I tried to but I couldn’t figure out how and didn’t know how to ask
Aizawa: I expose myself and the most profound thing you can say is owo?
Alien Queen: Iida locked the option to leave for everyone except Bakubro
Aizawa: @Ingenium Can you let me be free
Chargebolt: Wait do you even know what an owo is
Aizawa: Do you even know who I’m married to?
Ingenium: You are free to leave the chat now Sensei!
Aizawa has left the chat.
Alien Queen: WAIT NO WHO IS HE MARRIED TO
Anima: That is a mystery for another day
Alien Queen: NO THAT’S A TODAY MYSTERY
Deku: If it’s someone he knows outside of school then it’s very likely we won’t ever find out who they are
Creati: Yes, and it is invasive to pry into our teacher’s love life
Earphone Jack: Aizawa is probably gay
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Oh Il est definitely
Creati: As I was saying, it’s invasive
Tsukuyomi: He literally told us he was married
Tsukuyomi: He can’t expect us to not at least be curious as to whom
Creati: I suppose…
Shouto: I have so many theories
Alien Queen: SPILL
Ingenium: Please do not gossip about Aizawa’s partner(s)! If he wishes us to know then he will tell us!
Prism: @Monkey King
Prism: @Monkey King
Prism: @Monkey King
Prism: @Monkey King
Chargebolt: @Monkey King
Monkey king: Please stop @ing me its 1am and I’m trying to sleep like a reasonable person
Prism: What animal does your quirk come from this is important
Chargebolt: Aint it from a monkey
Monkey King: I’m sorry but what sort of monkeys have you been looking at Kami
Chargebolt: Your hero name is Monkey King
Monkey King: Like the legend
Monkey King: Sun Wukong
Prism: He becomes immortal like 6 times and pisses off every God imaginable
Chargebolt: OH THAT GUY
Monkey King: Jesus Christ
Prism: Why’d you respond to that
Tsukuyomi: Idk I’m sleep deprived
Chargebolt: Is this another Freaky Quirk Friday?
Monkey King: What is there to even talk about?
Tsukuyomi: Nothing. Freaky Quirk Fridays are banned hereafter
Chargebolt: I still think your tail is from a monkey or smthn
Monkey King: I have feet pads
Monkey King: I’m p sure monkeys don’t have them
Prism: Lil baby foot beans
Serophane: Hehehsasx wild
Chargebolt: Bruh I thought you was asleep cos ur sick
Serophane: Bruh I woke up like 2 hours ago
Chargebolt: Bruh why didn’t you tell me
Serophane: Bruh I thought you was asleep
Tsukuyomi: Wait how do you have feet like a cat
Monkey King: Idk why do you have a head like a bird
Tsukuyomi: Why don’t you
Earphone Jack: Is this the insomniacs up for Freaky Quirk Friday
Prism: Not insomniac I’m just too hyper to sleep
Tsukuyomi: Perhaps I am, perhaps not, I don’t know
Chargebolt: Sleep is for the weak
Earphone Jack: Cool
Chargebolt: @Monkey King What’re your parents’ quirks
Monkey King: I don’t know my bio-parents
Serophane: Wait so are you like a Neko or smthn Oj
Monkey King: I’m too tired for this
Earphone Jack: Answer the question bitch
Monkey King has logged off.
Prism: Goodbye uwu/
Serophane: I guess we’ll never know
Tsukuyomi: You can just ask on the morrow
Prism: What the fuck is a morrow
Chargebolt: Isn’t that a type of bird
Tsukuyomi: Nah its tomorrow
Earphone Jack: Stfu you extra as fuck
Serophane: So are we just gonna forget Oj is probably a neko
Prism: Hehe what if Ojiro purrs
Earphone Jack: What about claws
Tentacole: Can you go to sleep at a reasonable time please
And I did snatch a small plot thingy from another chatfic but in my defence I never had any intention of posting this when I wrote this chapter, and I decided to keep it in because I needed a reason for Aizawa to come to the chat for the therapy thing which does come back later. Another fun fact is I wrote and edited the portion of a bunch of them up at 1am while I was awake at 1am, which is why none of it makes sense.
I need more discussion of what Ojiro's tail comes from because I want to know. Also just more Ojiro in general, he's baby and needs attention
Regarding Mineta I felt I needed for him to be a threat to everyone so his expulsion would be more satisfying. I'm sorry y'all have to see him being a rat next chapter
Chapter 4: This chapter was almost 15,000 words long btw
Someone's phone breaks and some plans are made
This took a little while since I rearranged some conversations and I also had a small episode that prevented me from writing but all is good now! :)
Right now I'm listening to Howl's moving Castle theme song and it's so good oml I don't even like classical music but it's so fire
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Candy Man: What the heck were you guys doing last night?
Tsukuyomi: Festering in the twilight hours
Candy Man: What
Earphone Jack: Speaking of questions
Earphone Jack: @Monkey King Do you have claws
Serophane: @Monkey King Are you a neko
Prism: @Monkey King Bastard do you purr
Chargebolt: @Monkey King These are important questions Oj answer
Anima: He has his phone turned off
Earphone Jack: How do you know that
Anima: Uhhh I’m sat with him eating cereals
Uravity: You fool it’s just cereal no s
Anima: No that makes you a heathen
Serophane: @Anima Tell Oj to turn on his phone these are critical questions
Earphone Jack: I didn’t know you knew what critical meant
Serophane: I learnt it from Pokémon
Anima: I’d rather not ask him to turn his phone on
Anima: He’s kind of grumpy right now
Froppy: That’s reasonable since some of us like to wake him up at 1am to ask pointless questions
Uravity: Hi Tsu!
Froppy: Hello Kero
Chargebolt: That rhymed :D
Anima: He’s kinda like Uraraka in a competition right now
Deku: Intense and kinda salty?
Uravity: Thank you :)
Prism: It’s so weird and then like half an hour later he’s completely soft again
Tentacole: You know he can see all this when he checks his phone
Prism: Oh damn he’s going to know I called him soft how horrifying
Alien Queen: My time has come
Alien Queen: Roses are red
Alien Queen: I can’t wear a hat
Alien Queen has sent 91 message(s).
Alien Queen: a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
Can’t Stop Twinkling: Why
Deku: My phone almost crashed
Alien Queen: :3c
Prism: You know I was being sarcastic right
Alien Queen: :lc
Ingenium: @Alien Queen Why did you send so many messages in one go?
Alien Queen: I WAS TRYING TO HELP HAGA LEAVE ME BE
Prism: Lmao you don’t understand sarcasm
Alien Queen: Shoosh
Froppy: This is ya boi Ura here on Tsuyu’s phone
Froppy: P sure my phone doesn’t work anymore because of u sending the ENTIRE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT AT ONCE
Alien Queen: Ahahaa… sorry
Froppy: On the bright side my phone was really old and I think I was like the only person still with a flip phone in this class so I guess it was inevitable
Can’t Stop Twinkling: @Creati Uraraka needs a new phone
Creati: I’d be more than happy to get you a new phone!
Froppy: WAIT YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT
Creati: Nonsense. This weekend would be the perfect time to since this Friday I get my allowance!
Froppy: I can’t use your money like that!
Creati: Don’t worry, I am more than happy to help a classmate in need!
Froppy: Are you sure
Creati: I’m Positive!
Earphone Jack: You’re too good for this world Momo
Creati: I don’t see why I shouldn’t help someone when I am well within my abilities to
Serophane: *cough* flex *cough*
Chargebolt: Couldn’t you just like
Chargebolt: Make a new phone using your quirk
Creati: Unfortunately, not
Creati: There are too many different materials and the atomic structure of each part is simply too complex for me to create without a very thorough guide down to the last atom
Deku: It would just be a repeat of The Incident
Red Riot: WHY WONT YOU SAY WHAT The Incident IS
Earphone Jack: The less you know the better
Tsuyu- Tsuyu later
Tsuyu later: *Groans in Frog*
Izuwu: Is this Asui or Uraraka?
Tsuyu later: I said call me Tsuyu
Tsuyu later: You will be
Icythot: Oh damn
Iidad: This is Ura rn Iidaddy is letting me use his phone uwu
Iidad: Why u groan?
Tsuyu later: M*neta
Yaomom: Is it time for plan Yeetus Deletus?
Izuwu: Nope no its never time for that
Icythot: What if I froze him and dropped him into the ocean
Icythot: We wouldn’t really know if he was dead or not
Icythot: Therefore we can’t be charged with murder
Yaomom: Do you mean like a Schrödinger’s cat scenario?
Icythot: I don’t know what that is
Iidad: Bitches we getting off track
Izuwu: I almost had an aneurism seeing Tenya’s account swear
Yaomom: What is troubling you Tsuyu?
Tsuyu later: Ochako said I should talk about the shit M*neta does so
Tsuyu later: You all know how I’m trans?
Tsuyu later: I was with Tooru in the kitchen when he came in and basically called us traps
Tsuyu later: Tooru didn’t seem that affected but
Tsuyu later: He said it in a way that made me think he’s fetishizing us and I was really uncomfortable
Iidad: Well there’s always that plan…
Izuwu: No Yeetus Deletus is not allowed
Yaomom: But he’s being transphobic
Icythot: Transphobes don’t deserve rights
Iidad: He gonna lose them when he in space
Izuwu: surely we have a more legal solution?
Yaomom: I’m going to flag Mineta’s behaviour to Aizawa if you are okay with it?
Tsuyu later: Please
Tentacole: Okay who’s done this
Alien Queen: :?
Tentacole: I was doing my laundry and somehow all of my masks now have mouths drawn on them
Earphone Jack: Wait I need to see this
Tentacole: I’m not mad I just want to know who did it
Tsukuyomi: Will it wash out?
Tentacole: I don’t know yet, but it looks like permanent marker
Tsukuyomi: It seems to day is the day an aesthetic must die
Monkey King: @Prism
Prism: Yes my dude?
Monkey King: Why do you have no clothes on
Prism: No comment
Tentacole: Did you draw on all my masks
Prism: Uhhhhh still no comment
Tentacole: I’m not mad
Tentacole: Just slightly sad at the destruction of my aesthetic
Prism: Somehow that hurt more than you being mad
Red Riot: WHY DID SHOJI JUST WALK DOWN WITH A CAT MOUTH ON HIS MASK
Alien Queen: ART
Tentacole: I wouldn’t call it art
Prism: Worth it
Froppy: WAIT THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR US ALL TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER
Froppy: This is Ura again btw
Froppy: Yaomom can help me get a new phone, you can get a mask that isn’t grafitied on and we can have a nice day at the shopping centre since last time it ended with Izuku being almost strangled by handman from the League
Ingenium: A terrific idea Uraraka!
Ingenium: Does anyone have any objections to it happening this Sunday?
Sorry this chapter isn’t very long but it mostly exists to set some minor things up.
Ojiro is a certified baby until you disrupt his sleep then he is a bitch.
Here’s the fun fact of the day: I did originally put the entire bee movie script except when I did it added about 13,000 to the word count which I thought was very intimidating and also a nightmare to scroll past. Also at one point I got distracted by how many spelling mistakes there were in it so now there’s a grammatically correct bee movie script saved in a word document somewhere. I don't think that will ever become useful but whatever
ALSO next chapter is the first actually written portion so look forward to it. I hope it’s good idk if my prose is actually decent. We shall see :0