"Absolutely not. I've said it at least a couple dozen times today, and asking over and over again isn't going to change my answer Celestia." She frowned at my response, and I couldn't tell you why. I'd been saying no over and over again for what must have been the past hour. The princess had been stalking me all day, and had finally gotten the nerve to approach me, and well... I was expecting a lot but certainly not this. I'd almost rather be fighting her to be honest. Actually that's not an almost, that's a 'I definitely would rather be fighting her'. It's too bad my love stores are rather low right now or I might have decided to do that.
"Enjoying the view?" Oh. Had I been staring off into space in her direction? Hm... Now how to respond.
Yep, that'll do. Ah, her face fell again. Excellent. Maybe she'd take a hint after the 43rd time.
Nah probably not.
A sigh escaped me as I let my head fall to the side. It was very tempting to strike up a conversation, whether to reminisce about the past or just to break the awkward silence that had followed my declaration I couldn't say, but it was there. I resisted though. I had no intention of ever giving the mare before me the satisfaction of knowing she was getting to me. Not after what she had done.
"Are you done staring off into space? I asked you a question."
Whoops. Quick, somebody grab a clock, is it time to make Celestia feel like shit? Because I feel like it's about that time. "Maybe if you were more interesting I'd pay attention to what you were saying." Nice one Chrysalis. She's hanging her head to get her mane to hide her tears. Now that's what I'm talking about! Oh never mind, she was just hiding a grimace. I felt good about that response to. Better step up my game I suppose.
Celestia let out a huff before puffing up her cheeks in what I assume was meant to be a pout. "Must you be so cruel?" Nice try Tia, but if you think acting cute is going to get me to forgive you then you'll be sorely disappointed. "What will then?"
I said that out loud didn't I? Whelp. "Nothing." Ah, rude and blunt, the Chrysalis classic.
"I don't have to do anything to earn your forgiveness? Oh thank you so much!" I almost got caught by her attempted hug but although my love stores are low, thankfully my reflexes have not been affected all that much.
"You know exactly what I meant, don't even bother playing the idiot game with me. Much as I wish you were right now, we both know you're not this dumb." What followed was a flurry of even more attempted hugs that I somehow managed to stay away from. I really don't have the energy to deal with this nonsense right now. Anyway, I'd say it was all skill, but being in a forest with lots of trees for her to crash into helped quite a bit.
Eventually she gave up on trying to hug me and adopted a more serious expression. It was however ruined by the twigs and leaves that were now stuck in her mane, the dark green and orange clashing with her pastel colors.
I snickered, then promptly burst out laughing when she tilted her head in confusion. "You look fucking ridiculous."
Celestia took notice of where exactly I was looking and brought a hoof up to drag her mane in front of her face so she could see what I meant. "Awww, you do care!"
Of course she'd take it like that, why am I even surprised at this point? "No I don't, I simply can't take you seriously with all those leaves in your mane."
A quick application of her magic later and she was back to looking like normal. "There, better?"
I made a show of looking her up and down before replying. "Ehh, I suppose so."
Celestia couldn't resist teasing me of course, which was why I'd done it in the first place. "Enjoying the view?" She smirked as she echoed her earlier words.
"I would be, if you weren't such a revolting pony." A single tear dripped down her cheek as my reward. Celestia eyes scrunched up as sound I couldn't identify escaped her. Wait, no... that didn't come from her. The sound was way more pronounced in my right ear than it was in my left. Somebody's watching us.
"Come out come out wherever you are!" I swept my head around as I called out, almost missing Celestia taking the opportunity to wipe her eyes.
Much to my surprise, and Celestia's as well judging by the yelp from behind me, Twilight Sparkle exited from behind a tree a couple of yards away. "Sparkle, how quaint. Did your mentor not teach you that it's rude to eavesdrop?"
"The friendship map called me here." Twilight replied as way of explanation, side-stepping my question entirely. She trotted forwards until she was but a few from Celestia and I, stretching her wings as she went. Just like Celestia had a few moments ago, there was a couple of leaves attached to her. I decided to not comment on them, it'd be amusing to see how long it took her to realize they were there.
"Your... friendship map?" The incredulity in my voice was so thick it was practically dripping out of my mouth. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"
"It tells me where friendship problems are so my friends and I can fix them them. It's very handy! It even shows us an image of whichever cutiemark corresponds to which of us would be the best fit for solving the problem. In fact-" Twilight was steadily getting more and more animated the longer she kept talking. It reminded me of the good old days when Celestia would explain something to me she was heavily invested in.
I shouldn't be thinking about this at the moment. It's only going to serve to frustrate me, and the more frustrated I get the more likely I am to blow over the slightest thing. I never was very good at controlling my emotions. I'd like to think of it as a side effect of being able to sense them to a certain extant. Contrary to what most ponies who know of me assume, I can sense more emotions than just love, it's a little harder is all. I have to actually focus on it since it's not as natural.
"You can stop talking now Sparkle," I interrupt her halfway through an explanation of one of the many 'friendship problems' the map had showed her and how she'd went about solving it. "There's nothing here for you to solve." Celestia was suspiciously silent during all of this. She must really be wanting to get back in my good graces if she was letting me say whatever I want.
"The map has never been wrong before, and I doubt it just decided to start now. Especially considering I was listening to you two talk for quite a while." Twilight's eyes hardened ever so slightly as she spoke, I rolled mine in response.
"Let's me rephrase myself then. There's no problem here that your help is needed to solve." Why don't you just stop talking you annoying little brat?
Twilight sighed. "Okay, look, I understand it's not something you want to talk about, but it's clearly causing the both of you some grief. Why don't we all sit down and-"
"You want to know what the problem is so bad? Fine. I'll tell you then!" I exploded. I just couldn't hold my anger back anymore, Twilight's mannerisms in this moment were reminding me too much of the Celestia I had loved a thousand years ago. Like teacher like student as the old saying goes. That is how it goes right? Oh whatever, there's more important things to focus on right now. "She ditched me. We were all set to spend the rest of our lives together and she abandoned me for your stupid nation." I took sick glee in the way Twilight recoiled.
The purple brat took a few seconds to collect herself before glancing back and forth between the Celestia and I several times. I didn't give her the chance to think of something to say.
"Celestia made her choice, and now I'm making mine. Leave it alone Twilight." This was probably the first time I'd ever said her name without a mocking undertone, and she definitely took notice if the narrowing of her eyes was any indication. A shame then, that she elected to ignore it. She briefly closed her eyes took a deep breath, then opened her mouth and responded in a way that was no doubt meant to placate me. Annoyingly it actually worked.
A little bit.
"You're right to be angry Chrysalis, I'm not going to pretend otherwise. What I am going to say is that the both of you are clearly miserable. Wouldn't you rather try and work something out and potentially have a happier future?"
"No. You see, this right here, this is what you just don't seem to get." The edge of my lips turned up in a sneer. "Celestia made a mistake all those years ago, and-" When we were young I had been the to cut Celestia off when she spoke and I felt what I had to say was more important. This time it was she who cut me off.
"And it was the biggest mistake of my life!" Celestia walked out from behind me into the corner of my vision, tears streaming down her face, and I turned my whole body to face her. That despair in her voice caused little butterflies to start hammering away within my chest, and as such she had my undivided attention. "I'll do anything you want, just please Chryssy! Give me one more chance! I miss you."
That... No no no. Those last three little words had ignited an emotion within me that I'd thrown away long ago. Why was I feeling guilty? She deserved this! But this feeling rising within could not be denied. I missed her too... I... I still loved her after all these years.
The iconic green glow of my magic filled my horn and quickly spread to my right hoof. Celestia suppressed a flinch as I raised it until it was just above my ears. "Chrysalis stop!" Twilight's shout reached me, but I didn't let that deter me. My hoof came crashing down, directly into the center of my chest. A sickening crack drowned out whatever she was going to say next as my chitin gave way beneath the magic I'd used. I ripped my hoof back out and flicked the blood on it to the ground, yet still more oozed from the wound.
A yelp escaped Twilight, clearly she hadn't expected me to inflict harm upon myself, but Celestia was the complete opposite, her eyes flashing with determination. She recognized the maneuver I'd just done, having witnessed me do it dozens of times in our youth. It was a bad habit of mine. Whenever I found myself overcome with an emotion I didn't want to feel anymore I turned to pain to force myself to calm down. It worked brilliantly. Unfortunately, knowing exactly what this meant, Celestia knew that all she had to do was push a little farther and I'd probably give in. She always was awfully good at getting what she wanted.
I preempted her begging and just gave it to her, there wasn't really any point in not doing so at this juncture. Save myself the trouble and energy of having this be dragged on, you know? "Fine, I'll give you one more chance. Mess it up this time and I'll do way worse than simply launching an invasion of your precious city." Naturally, my threat fell on deaf ears. She lunged at me, wrapping me in soft warm feathers and, just as she'd done many a time before, she began healing the hole in my chest.