Mina thunked into her seat with a long sigh, rubbing her shoulder were she’d hit the pavement earlier.
“You all performed acceptably on today’s test,” Aizawa droned unenthusiastically, “but ‘acceptable’ is not going to be enough down the line. I’ll be giving out special assignments over the next week to help bolster your weaker areas.”
The class groaned in annoyance, Kaminari’s forehead meeting his desk with a sharp thud.
“ What? ” Mina added her voice to the din. Even passing the test got them extra work! The man was seriously a sadist. Mina collapsed back in her seat, Uraraka and Midoriya burning with determination making her feel even more exhausted.
Worst. Day. Ever.
Aizawa glared until they all shut up. “We have time for one of you to go before the end of class.” He sighed, visibly wilting at the thought of teaching for another fifteen minutes. “Bakugou, get up here.”
“Tch.” Bakugou scowled and shoved out of his seat, slouching his way to the front of the classroom.
“You scored very highly—”
“As fuckin’ usual.”
“—but your interpersonal skills are still unbelievably low. If you are going to be a pro hero you need to be capable of working on a team—sometimes even one composed of people you don’t like.” Aizawa seemed to have roused himself from the edge of sleep long enough to impart this wisdom to Blasty.
“Whatever. Just tell me what I’m doing.” Bakugou didn’t seem very moved. Mina thought one might need a backhoe to achieve such a thing.
Aizawa zipped himself up in his sleeping bag.
“Go around the classroom and give everyone an honest compliment.”
Bakugou couldn’t have looked more horrified if he’d been asked to kill and eat his own mother. Mina buried her face in her arms to stifle her boisterous laughter, Kaminari not even bothering to hide his own amusement.
“What?” Bakugou snapped. “You can’t be serious. I don’t have anything good to say about these extras.”
“Well you better find something to say,” Aizawa fired back, “because no one is leaving until you do.” He turned to the class. “Go back to the dorms when he’s done, and don’t wake me up unless someone is dying.” With this pronouncement the teacher fell to the ground behind his desk and, as far as a vibrating Mina could tell, went to sleep.
Bakugou was still staring down at Aizawa in disgust when Mina finally lost the struggle to keep quiet.
“Ahaha!” She cackled. “Blasty’s gonna pay us all compliments!” An actual tear leaked from one dark eye.
He shot her a frosty glare. “I’m going to kill you.”
“Y-yeah, but I’ll die happy knowing what you like about me!” She howled, the rest of the class sharing in her mirth.
“Do you think his heart will give out if he says something nice about Midoriya? I’m worried the strain will be too much,” Sero sniped. Midoriya chuckled uncomfortably and rubbed his neck.
“ I wanna know what he’s going to say about Todoroki,” Uraraka added slyly.
“You fuckers don’t deserve any goddamn praise! You’re all dumb as shit!”
“Class! You’re being too loud, Aizawa-sensei clearly stated that the volume was to be kept low!”
“Staying quiet is an impossibility when Bakugou is involved,” Kaminari declared.
“He studied in total silence for like four hours the other day! It was really manly.”
“Kirishima, Bakugou is supposed to pay us compliments, remember?” Sero drawled. Kirishima’s ears turned pink and he grinned sheepishly.
“Oi, are you fuckers going to shut up so I can get this over with?” The man in question snapped, leaning back against Aizawa’s desk with his arms folded mulishly.
“Wait! How are we going to organise this!” Iida exclaimed.
“The fuck? I’ll just start at one end and keep going ‘til I’m done.”
“Aww, that’s no fun!” Mina jumped in. “I think we should pull our names out of a hat!”
“Don’t make it complicated, Pinky, it’s not a fucking game.”
“Don’t be a buzzkill! Hey, everyone write your name on some paper and pass it to me, I’ll read them out!” Bakugou rolled his eyes but didn’t protest further, narrowed eyes flicking pensively over his classmates. “Oookay,” Mina said when it was done. Shuffling the folded papers around her desk she pulled one out at random. “First name iiiiiiis; Yaomomo!”
The whole class turned to look at Yaoyorozu, who looked distinctly uncomfortable with all the attention. At the front of the class Bakugou squinted at her for a long moment. “...your quirk is really strong,” he stated begrudgingly.
“O-oh, thank you, Bakugou-san!”
“...yeah, I don’t know what I was expecting,” Kaminari said in disappointment.
“I don’t think it counts if you just state the obvious, Blasty. She did get in on recommendations,” Sero criticized.
Bakugou flipped him off without even looking. “Who the fuck’s next?”
“Next up—” Mina unfolded a paper slip “—Todoroki!”
“ Ugh .” Bakugou tipped his head back to groan at the ceiling. “Fucking nothing. ”
“Aizawa-sensei indicated you had to—”
“Yeah yeah, Four-Eyes, I fucking know. Shit.” Bakugou sighed explosively. Todoroki seemed completely unaffected by his reticence, watching Bakugou think with a blank expression. “Ugh! Fine! Your quirk is pretty strong too! If you didn’t let your fucking daddy issues turn you into a punk bitch you might have actually been a challenge at the Sports Festival.” Bakugou was glaring at Todoroki like he’d just issued a declaration of war, and his face was pink with either fury or embarrassment. Todoroki’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally.
“ Bakugouuuu . You can’t just list how strong everyone’s quirk is!” Mina whined.
“That was pretty rude, Bakugou. I don’t really know what you’re talking about but it didn’t sound like a compliment,” Jirou chided.
“Really? Didn’t he just imply that Todoroki was like, close to his level? I think that’s the nicest thing Bakugou knows how to say,” Uraraka said.
“ Next ,” Bakugou demanded.
“Uhh, Kouda!” Mina called. Bakugou looked completely blank. She flicked her eyes pointedly at their shrinking classmate.
Bakugou blinked at him and Mina worried he’d never actually noticed the boy was in their class at all. “I like how fuckin’ quiet you are.”
“ Bakugou! ” Mina scolded and he scowled at her. She glared and he rolled his eyes before grudgingly taking another look at the large boy. He sighed. “...it was cool how you knew that dog at the camp was sick, I guess. Would’ve been shitty if it had died.” Mina’s eyebrows raised. Was that a legit compliment? About something other than brute strength? She was impressed.
Kouda flapped his hands bashfully to try and reject the praise, but Bakugou wasn’t even looking at him anymore.
“Bakugou… are you a dog person?” Urakaka asked.
“Fuck no. Needy fuckers slobber on you and shit. I just like them better’n people ‘cause they don’t fuckin’ talk back.”
“Ah,” Uraraka accepted this. “So you’re a cat person.”
“Fuck off, ” Bakugou ordered, but conspicuously did not deny it.
“Okay! Next!” Mina called. “Iida!”
Bakugou rolled his eyes. “You came second on the midterms, so good job living up to the megane stereotype I guess.”
“Thank you, Bakugou-san,” Iida replied stiffly.
“Isn’t that once place higher than you?” Sero inquired innocently.
“Do you wanna die , you fuckin' default Mii?” He growled, unfolding one arm to crackle his palm threateningly.
“Chill out man, third place is amazing!” Kirishima intervened like the literal ray of sunshine he was. “We all know you’re like, a genius.”
Bakugou relaxed with a huff. “Shut up, Shitty Hair,” he grumbled.
“I know no such thing,” Kaminari muttered under his breath.
Sero shot Kirishima a look. “You’re just saying that because you want him to keep tutori—ah!” Kirishima had kicked his neighbour under the desk. Mina snickered.
“Oh, um, wait—”
“Hurry the fuck up, Black Eyes.”
Jirou glanced up from her phone casually.
Bakugou clicked his tongue. “Her taste in music is okay.”
She shrugged and looked back down. “That’s my brand, I guess.”
The blond shifted in his seat a little, looking apprehensive. Mina knew he was sensitive about being ‘forgettable’ and made a mental note to give the boy a hug after Bakugou inevitably reinforced this belief.
“You’re 8th dan, right?” Bakugou said, expression almost neutral. “That’s pretty badass.”
Ojiro blinked in surprise as Bakugou turned back to a shocked Mina for the next name.
“Um, thank—thank you,” he said earnestly, even though Bakugou was no longer paying attention, a pleased flush on his pale face.
“Hey! Bakugou! That was actually nice!” Mina cried.
“Okay, who’s next, I wanna hear more Nice Bakugou™. Umm, Hagakure!”
Bakugou’s resting frown broke into a smirk. He turned towards his classmate and sickered. “That time you pranked Drooly and he pissed himself was fucking legendary.”
“Oh my god, right? !” Hagakure cried over the class’ laughter.
“BAKUBRO! I thought we all agreed never to bring that up!”
Bakugou grinned. “I didn’t agree to shit .”
“T-tokoyami!” Mina called through her own giggles.
Bakugou regarded the dark boy. “Dark Shadow goes hard.”
“Thanks, Blasty!” Dark Shadow said, popping up from under Tokoyami’s shirt to shoot Bakugou a thumbs up.
Tokoyami frowned. “I believe you were supposed to bestow your adulation upon me. ”
“Fuck you I’m not doing extra.”
“Good enough!” Mina declared. “Next up: Sero!”
Bakugou turned to her friend.
Sero tilted his head. “Yes?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You have about half a brain cell more than the rest of those chucklefucks you hang out with,” he settled on.
“I think you mean those chucklefucks we hang out with, Bakubro.”
“Hell yeah, Bakusquad for life !” Kaminari yelled. Mina whooped and accepted a fistbump from Kirishima.
“You love us, Bakubro!” Kirishima called and Bakugou only rolled his eyes.
“Of course he loves us, listen to these compliments!” Mina said. “And next is—OH, the Bakuquad’s own Kaminari Denki , ladies and gentleman!”
“Lay it on me Blasty!” Kaminari spread his arms obnoxiously and leaned back in his seat.
“I’ll lay my fist into your face,” Bakugou said without any heat. “Fine. You’re good enough at video games to be worth my time, I guess.”
“I’ll take it!” Kaminari shouted.
“Bakubabe, coming from you that was almost sweet!” Mina crooned. “Okay, now it’s...Shoji!”
Bakugou eyed him. “You’re stron—”
“ Say something else for once! ”
“...you’re marginally less annoying than the rest of these idiots.”
Shoji nodded his acceptance.
“I’m curious to hear mine, kero.”
Bakugou sighed. “You tell it like it is. Even when no one wants to fucking hear it. I can respect that.”
“You really pay attention to people, don’t you, Bakugou-chan?”
“...I’ll fucking kill you.”
Bakugou blinked and straightened. “Shit, your choux pastry always comes out fuckin’ perfect,” he told the larger boy.
“Oh, thank you! I work hard on it!”
“What the hell is shoe pastry?” Kaminari asked and was ignored.
“Okay, next is—ooh, me!”
Bakugou sized her up. “...your eyebrows don’t look like complete shit today.”
Mina glowed. “Awww Bakubabe! I’ve been practicing!”
“Harsh! Okay—oh! Uraraka!”
Uraraka looked at Bakugou expectantly. He sighed. “You don’t care when I deck you in the face.”
“I wouldn’t say I don’t care —wait, is that even a compliment?”
“Dumbass, I’m saying you’re tenacious.”
“That wasn’t implied at all!”
“What does ‘tenacious’ mean?” Kirishima piped up.
“It means she’s persistant, and she doesn’t fucking back down.”
“Oh, wait, I think I knew that word! Thanks, Bakugou!”
“...jeez, Bakugou, I thought you were supposed to be the one that was embarrassed here,” Uraraka said, distinctly pink-cheeked. “Thanks.”
He shrugged uncomfortably and turned to Mina. “Who else?”
“Um, well… Midoriya?”
“Is that a fucking question?”
“Kacchan, it’s okay if you don’t want to—”
“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugou glanced around the room. “Look, the shit between me and Deku is our own fucking business, okay? No stupid class exercise is gonna change that.”
“Bakugou-kun, Aizawa-sensei clearly said—”
“Shut up Four-Eyes I wasn’t fucking done. I hope that shitty nerd fucking dies, but he makes my mum a dumb fucking scrapbook for her brithday every year and it makes her cry like a weakling every time, so I guess his goddamn decopage skills are fucking spectacular or some shit.”
“Aunty M cries? ” Midoriya said in shock.
“Like a loser,” Bakugou confirmed without looking at him.
“Oh my god,” he said to himself. “Is that a good thing? Or is it because they’re so terrible? No wait she wouldn’t keep asking for them if that were the case. Maybe she’s allergic to the type of glue I use…?” After this the mumbling fell out of the range of human hearing.
Mina let out an inaudible sigh of relief. Really, she couldn’t imagine a better outcome, even if it was only sort of a compliment. She glanced down at the last two pieces of paper.
“Left or right?”
“Left,” Bakugou declared.
“Aoyama,” Mina read and started to grin.
Aoyama looked at Bakugou. Bakugou looked at Aoyama. The class all leaned forward in their seats.
“Yes?” Aoyama asked.
“That means, Kirishima, you’re the final boss!”
“Sweet! Lay it on me, man!” Kirishima grinned sunnily at Bakugou. Bakugou stared back, frowning hard. There was a long pause, during which Kirishima’s bright smile began to wane. Bakugou’s eyes narrowed. He was clearly racking his brain. The seconds ticked on and Mina glanced around in astonishment. This was Kirishima! The closest thing Bakugou had to a best friend! He’d even managed to find something good to say about Midoriya , for god’s sake!
“Bakugou!” She finally snapped. “What’s taking you so long! Kirishima has loads of good qualities!”
Bakugou scowled somehow harder. “...I know.”
Mina gasped and then whooped as Sero burst out laughing. Kirishima’s mouth had dropped open and his face was beginning to match his hair. Bakugou’s ears were also distinctly pink as he glared furiously at the hollering class.
“Fuck you guys, I’m done,” he growled and stalked back to his desk to grab his stuff, glancing over at a frozen Kirishima.
Kaminari had his arm around his friend, punching him repeatedly in the shoulder. “Bro! He loves you, bro!”
“You’re Baku’s faaavouriiite!” Mina sang delightedly.
“Yeah, how are you going to respond to his confession?” Sero teased.
“Eat shit, Tapeface!” Bakugou cursed, launching his textbook at Sero’s head at Mach 1. Sero ducked, the book sailing past him to narrowly miss Kirishima.
“Careful, you almost hit your husband!”
“Guys, shut up!” Kirishima groaned, finally shoving Kaminari off him. “You already knew we were best friends!”
“I don’t know why your dumb asses are so surprised, you think I’d hang out with him if I didn’t fuckin’ like him?”
“YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS, BAKUGOU LIKES KIRISHIMA—” Kaminari’s mouth was suddenly stopped up with fabric.
“If you aren’t out of my classroom in the next ten seconds I’m expelling every single one of you,” Aizawa threatened from the floor.
Mina grinned and hopped over her desk, grabbing her bag and jumping on Kirishima’s back on his way out of the room. He grumbled but hooked his hands under her legs to better support her. Sero joined them on their way to the dorms and Bakugou followed, dragging Kaminari behind them by his hair.
Maybe it wasn’t the worst day ever.