Chapter 1: Jungkook I
Jungkook yawned as he walked out of his bedroom. It was their day off, and he knew exactly what everyone was doing, from experience of course. Hoseok and Jimin were either at the studio or on a shopping spree. Seokjin and Taehyung were in the bath together and would either go out to a movie afterwards or just hang out around the dorm. Yoongi was definitely working on lyrics in the studio, though. That was for sure. Namjoon, on the other hand...
Jungkook smiled as he felt long arms wrap around his waist from behind, the scent of oranges filling him with a serene sense of happiness.
“Mornin’ baby,” Namjoon drawled along his boyfriend’s earlobe. “How’d you sleep?”
Jungkook turned around to face the alpha. Namjoon looked so disheveled that Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle a little. His hair was sticking up in random places, and his lips and cheeks were swollen from sleep.
“Better than you did, by the looks of it.”
Namjoon sighed. “And here I was, trying to be a sweet, romantic boyfriend.”
“You don’t even have to try,” Jungkook winked. “Comes pretty naturally, I think.”
“As naturally as you being a brat?”
Namjoon properly laughed at that and pulled Jungkook in for a kiss, morning breath and all. They were immune to it at this point. Over four years of dating did that to people. Bad breath didn’t faze them at all, not when it was the quickest way to sneak in some morning kisses before breakfast.
“You know,” Namjoon hummed once they pulled away. “Three years ago, you would’ve beaten yourself up for days about the possibility of me thinking you’re actually a brat.”
Jungkook suddenly got shy, looking down at their joined hands. When had they started holding hands?
“I...you know I’ve been trying to...to get better at that...”
Namjoon smiled and placed a kiss on the omega’s cheek. “I know...I’m so proud of you, baby boy.”
Jungkook’s cheeks went red.
Jungkook turned towards the voice only to be met with the sight of Taehyung with wet hair and nothing but a robe covering his body. The freshly bathed beta was smirking, but Jungkook just rolled his eyes.
“That’s rich coming from the man that I caught making out with his boyfriend on the couch just last night.”
“But that’s me and Jinnie,” Taehyung said with a smug grin. “When it’s us, it’s hot. When it’s you and Namjoon-hyung, it’s gross.”
Seokjin suddenly appeared behind Taehyung, rolling his eyes. “Children. I, personally, think that all of it is just beautiful.”
At that Seokjin pulled Taehyung in by his waist and started nuzzling the scent glands on his neck. Taehyung melted, and Jungkook couldn’t deny that they looked adorable together in that moment. The maknae was so purely happy at that moment. It was like nothing could break that beautiful little spell.
Chapter 2: Yoongi I
Yoongi grumbled as he felt someone shake his shoulders. They weren’t supposed to have anything on their schedules that day, so he was about to slaughter whoever had woken him up.
“Hyung, wake up,” Taehyung said urgently. “It’s serious, hyung, I think we’re in trouble.”
Yoongi shot up quickly at that, his protective omega instincts kicking into gear as he stood and studied Taehyung’s face. He looked scared and sad, and Yoongi didn’t like that one bit. Taehyung rarely ever looked like that. It wasn’t right.
“What’s going on, Taehyungie?” Yoongi asked softly, bringing a hand up to gently run over the beta’s cheek. Yoongi usually initiated affection like a cat by using subtlety and insistence, but Taehyung, his pack mate, needed more straightforward affection right now. Yoongi was more than willing to give it.
“I don’t...I don’t know, hyung. Namjoon-hyung got a call from Bang PD-nim, and he—he was angry. Joon-hyung looks terrified, and Kook is worried, and Namjoon-hyung never looks scared—“
“Hey,” Yoongi interrupted, bringing his wrist up to the scent glands on Taehyung’s neck and rubbing, scenting the scared man soothingly, lovingly. “Breathe, okay? Why don’t you go be with Jin-hyung while I get dressed?”
Taehyung leaned into the touch on his neck and sighed once Yoongi’s wrist stopped moving. The beta’s usual peanut scent now had a layer of caramel over it. Taehyung loved all of his pack’s scents—especially Seokjin’s—and Yoongi’s sweet omega scent was included. The familiarity was calming.
As soon as Taehyung left the room, Yoongi anxiously pulled on some jeans and the first shirt he could find. He was itching to find out what was going on. Yoongi had always been protective over those close to him. It was a habit that had been born out of his old pack and his need to protect the younger pups from their Head Alpha.
It had taken a fair amount of time for Yoongi to agree to form a pack with the rest of BTS. He loved them, he did, but his pack back home had given him a wariness—he’d never admit to himself that it was a deep, visceral fear—when it came to pack dynamics. Yoongi trusted Namjoon, though. They’d been together for the longest out of anyone in the group, and Namjoon had always helped Yoongi ward off unwanted attention from alphas. Yoongi trusted Namjoon, and so he had trusted Namjoon to be their Head Alpha.
The BTS Pack was so much different than Yoongi’s birth pack. The alphas were silly and adorable, not harsh and overbearing. The other omegas were headstrong and assertive, not spineless and painfully submissive. Their one beta—beautiful, breathtaking Taehyung—was treated with respect, not shamed for having a relationship with someone who wasn’t a beta. Even with the similarities that existed—Jimin was an alpha that loved alcohol, Jungkook had a hard time expressing himself in a way that sometimes involuntarily made him into a pushover, Hoseok was incredibly possessive and growled dangerously at the wrong times—Yoongi felt safer than he had ever before.
That was why it was so heartbreaking when he walked into the living room and saw the scene before him.
Namjoon was sitting on one of the couches, elbows resting on his knees and fingers clutching aggressively at his hair. Jungkook was in front of him, and the omega was saying something that Yoongi couldn’t hear as he tried to get his alpha’s hold to loosen. Taehyung was curled into a protective ball on the other couch, Seokjin and Jimin trying to comfort him from either side. (Yoongi made a mental note to talk to Taehyung again about going to see a therapist for his anxiety.) Hoseok was on the loveseat, looking between the two scenes with an absolutely clueless expression on his face.
“What the hell is going on?” Yoongi asked.
Namjoon sat up slightly, pushing some hair out of his face. “Bang Sihyuk-nim is going to be here any minute.”
A humorless chuckle came from the leader. “I haven’t the slightest clue. All I know is that he sounded the angriest I’ve ever heard him sound when he called me.”
“Did we do something wrong?” Taehyung asked in that tiny, tiny voice of his. That tone only came out when he was frightened. “I—I didn’t mean to do anything bad.”
Namjoon’s facial expression softened at Taehyung’s innocent, troubled demeanor. Namjoon had a soft spot for Taehyung. All of the members did, for the beta was such an insecure but vibrant ball of fluff. Taehyung was to be protected at all costs.
“I really don’t know, TaeTae...If we’ve done something wrong, we probably didn’t know that it was wrong in the first place.”
That did little to soothe any of the men’s worries.
They’d just have to wait for their CEO to arrive.
Chapter 3: Namjoon I
Namjoon immediately stood when he heard the urgent knock on their front door, but it was Hoseok that answered it, and soon enough, Bang Sihyuk was in their living room as well as four of BTS’s managers.
Taehyung anxiously kept a hold on Seokjin’s shirt from his spot beside the omega, and Yoongi looked ready to pounce on any threat. Namjoon knew that everyone was too high strung, but if he said anything, he’d be a hypocrite, so he merely sat silently next to Jungkook. He tried to use his proximity to calm his omega. It worked a little, but not that much. Jungkook’s coconut scent was still sharp and alarmed.
“Namjoon, do you know why I came here?”
The leader shook his head profusely. Jungkook grabbed onto his hand for support, and Sihyuk actually glared at the sight of it. Namjoon was so confused. Sihyuk had never been opposed to either couple in BTS showing affection. Yes, they were keeping it a secret from the public, but in a private setting, the CEO had always seemed so welcoming towards it.
“Have any of you been on social media in the last twenty-four hours?”
Everyone shook their head, and Sihyuk barked out a tired, bitter laugh. “The one time no one is on their phone.”
Namjoon was still so confused. He, truthfully hadn’t even used his phone the day before. It had been a day off, and so he’d eaten breakfast and then spent the rest of the day cuddling with his boyfriend in bed and watching YouTube on the omega’s laptop. Maybe he should’ve checked.
“A controversial photo has been leaked,” Sihyuk continued. Could he be any more cryptic?
“Photo?” Namjoon asked. “What kind of photo?”
“A photo of you and Jungkook kissing, Namjoon, that kind of photo.”
The silence that resulted from that was overwhelming, and it probably would’ve seemed calm from an outside perspective, but the aroma of oranges and coconuts was filling the room aggressively, and the smell of peanuts was beginning to join it. It was anything but calm. They were anything but calm.
“What?” Namjoon questioned. His voice was soft and strained. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“You heard me,” Sihyuk huffed. “There’s a picture of you two kissing all over the internet, and I want to know how it got there.”
Namjoon felt Jungkook let go of his hand and gulped at the sight of the omega slowly curling in on himself. Jungkook was panicking. He always tried to make himself as small as possible when he panicked.
Sihyuk sighed and took out his phone, tapping a bit before he showed Namjoon an image. It had been taken almost a year ago, and it was, in fact of the couple kissing. Jungkook had always liked capturing pictures of them in the midst of a kiss. In this particular photo, it was easy to see their faces and the sweat on their skin. It was easy to see that it was “RM and Jungkook of BTS” after dance practice one day. Namjoon, personally, loved that photo. He didn’t love the fact that it had been leaked.
“Oh god,” Jungkook hissed once he looked at it. “I—I gave that picture to my mom. She—she wouldn’t’ve...right?”
All eyes were on Jungkook, and Namjoon could see just how much the stares were getting to the young omega. He’d never done well in situations such as these, and Namjoon knew that, so he put a stabilizing hand on the back of Jungkook’s neck, hoping that it would help him calm down just a little.
“I’m sure she didn’t do anything intentionally,” Namjoon tried to soothe. It didn’t work, so he turned back to his boss. “Do you know the original source?”
“We’ve been trying to find it, but that’s not the point!”
Namjoon hesitantly removed his hand from Jungkook. The omega whimpered softly. Yoongi looked even more like he was about to fight someone as soon as the sound left the maknae.
“What is the point?” Namjoon said meekly.
Sihyuk was furious. “The point is that I told you two to be careful! Four years of covering your asses is just thrown out of the window because you couldn’t keep a picture to yourselves. You know that I support your relationship, but it sure as hell looks like your fans do not! Jungkook is a young, attractive omega. Don’t you think some of your alpha fans are going to be angry at that fact that he’s apparently taken? Don’t you think a lot of your omega fans are upset because the alpha leader they’ve been fawning over already has an omega? An untraditional one, at that?”
“Untraditional?” Hoseok asked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Jungkook isn’t dainty! He’s not motherly like Seokjin or small like Yoongi! He has a black belt in taekwondo, loves boxing, has the biggest muscles of the group, and is the strongest of the group! That’s not your typical omega right there! The fans know that, but the fact that he’s in a relationship with an alpha like Namjoon is going to make those things seem like character flaws. Not to mention, times where either of you have shown affection towards other members—especially Namjoon towards Seokjin and Yoongi and Jungkook towards Jimin and Hoseok—will be seen as infidelity. That ruins your image as humble, polite, and respectful young men. That’s what propelled BTS this far in the first place.”
Jungkook was shaking.
“PD-nim, I’m sorry. We didn’t intend for those pictures to get out. The only people who had them were the other members, Jungkook’s parents, and Jungkook’s brother. We tried to keep it contained—“
“Well, you didn’t try hard enough!” the man shouted.
At this point, Taehyung was panicking, Seokjin and Jimin were quietly trying to calm Taehyung, Jungkook looked like he was about to pass out, and Yoongi looked livid. Namjoon had no idea what to do. The only person capable of rational thought at that point seemed to be Hoseok. Namjoon, himself wasn’t feeling very rational at the moment.
Sihyuk stood, moving closer to the couple. Jungkook started sobbing all at once, and that was when the atmosphere in the room shifted.
That was when Yoongi stood.
“Stay away from him,” the omega spat at the CEO.
Everyone was shocked at the outburst, but Namjoon was silently begging Yoongi to just sit down again. The oldest rapper was just standing there, though, blocking their boss from even the sight of Jungkook. Yoongi was standing up to their older alpha superior, and the fact terrified Namjoon. Yoongi just looked so fragile in comparison, like an old porcelain doll.
“Stay away from him,” Yoongi repeated. His voice was weaker this time, too shaky to have come out of the mouth of the fiery Min Suga. “If you want to overpower someone, try me, not Jungkook.”
What was he doing?
“Hyung, please just sit down—“
“No, Namjoon,” he interrupted his body was vibrating. Why did he look so terrified and oppositional at the same time?
Sihyuk surveyed the scene one more time before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. “Whatever,” he said sharply. “Just, Jungkook and Namjoon, I don’t want you two to be seen together in public without the rest of the group present. Seokjin and Taehyung, you better be careful so that this doesn’t happen to you. The backlash would be a lot worse with a beta/omega couple...We’ll have a proper meeting when you all get to the company tomorrow.”
And he left.
Chapter 4: Seokjin I
Yoongi was still shaking, still standing. Seokjin didn’t like that terrified look on his fellow omega’s face. Something was really wrong. There would be no other reason for Yoongi to do such a thing.
Jungkook was still crying, and Taehyung was still breathing too quickly, but Seokjin’s main concern was Yoongi. Yoongi had only ever stood up to an alpha like that maybe thrice—alphas tended to make advances towards Seokjin and Jungkook a lot. Yoongi had never been so shaky when doing so, though. He looked like he was about to crumble into dust.
“Hyung,” Namjoon tried, standing up and putting a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. That had been a very unwise decision.
Yoongi immediately jumped away from Namjoon, eyes wide and desperate as he shook even more.
“A-alpha,” he squeaked quietly.
Seokjin was dumbfounded. The rest probably were too. Yoongi had never called any of them by their dynamics, and he’d always especially hated alphas and omegas calling each other by their respective dynamics. To hear him call Namjoon “alpha” was jarring. It was infinitely worrying.
“Yoongi-hyung, it’s okay,” Namjoon attempted to soothe, hands up in defense. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not mad, okay? I’m not mad at you.”
Yoongi just shook his head before bolting right out of the living room. Hoseok immediately shot up from his seat and tried to follow.
Seokjin quickly intercepted the alpha, leaving Taehyung with Jimin on the couch.
“Hobi,” he said sternly. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to him...you, Jimin, or Namjoon for that matter...I’ll go see what’s going on, okay?”
“Hoseok, you saw how he reacted when Namjoon merely touched his shoulder. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be around alphas right now. He’ll be more likely to open up to a fellow omega.”
Hoseok reluctantly agreed, and so Seokjin left the living room and headed straight towards the door of Yoongi’s room. Once everyone had switched roommates to accommodate the two couples in BTS, Yoongi had shyly requested a room to himself. It made sense, really. Hoseok and Jimin were both alphas and liked rooming together, so it had worked out well. Only Seokjin knew this, but Yoongi had opened up a bit one night and told Seokjin that the reason he’d wanted a room to himself was because he felt unsafe sleeping around alphas without any other omegas or betas present. The older omega hadn’t pried, but he now thought that maybe he should’ve. The fear that he’d seen in Yoongi’s eyes had been so heartbreaking. Who had hurt him so badly that he couldn’t trust his own Head Alpha, his own friend?
Seokjin knocked on the door. “Yoongichi? It’s Seokjin-hyung...would you wanna open up?”
There was a pause, but then a weak voice came from the other side of the door.
When Seokjin stepped into the room, his heart broke immediately. Yoongi was sitting on his bed with a thick blanket wrapped around him. His eyes were dimmed with red, and his nose matched as pitiful little hiccups tumbled from his lips. Seokjin hurried over and collected the crying man in his arms almost on instinct, and Yoongi was soon cuddled into his hyung’s lap, greedily inhaling the soothing scent of maple syrup that came from Seokjin’s scent glands. The singer cooed sadly at that.
“What’s wrong, Yoongi, huh? What happened back there?”
Yoongi’s shoulders shook as he sobbed. “I couldn’t let him hurt Kookie.”
“Yoongi, you know that PD-nim would never hurt any of us. He’s like our cool uncle...he was just stressed and angry.”
Yoongi just shook his head and became even more hysterical. “I—I have to protect the pups. No one’s protecting the pups, and he’s gonna...he’s gonna hurt them, hyung! I can’t let him hurt the pups!”
“Hey, shh,” Seokjin shushed, rubbing his friend’s back. “Calm down, sweetie. Jungkook is safe, okay? All of our dongsaengs are safe, I’m safe, and you’re safe. That’s what matters, okay? We’re all safe, and we’ll figure this out.”
Seokjin held Yoongi as he continued to cry, whispering soft reassurances into his hair. He even brought his wrist up to place a couple firm swipes on the soft skin beneath the rapper’s jaw. Yoongi was scenting him back in a much more intimate way, and that was the truest testament to how vulnerable the man was at this point. Yoongi only ever scented like that when he was desperate for affection and/or comfort. The fact made Seokjin hold his pack mate that much closer.
Eventually, Yoongi stopped crying and calmed down substantially. He was still in a vulnerable headspace, so he remained clinging to his hyung even as he relaxed.
“You wanna tell me what that was about?”
Yoongi wiped at his face a bit. “Not really.”
“Would you please do it anyways?” Seokjin asked, trying to keep the desperation from his voice. “Just a little bit?”
Yoongi sagged in defeat. “My...my birth pack...they...I was one of the older children, and my...the Head Alpha got—got angry a lot. I had to...to protect them.”
Seokjin really didn’t like the conclusions that his mind was jumping to, but he didn’t let that show. He didn’t want to do anything that could possibly discourage Yoongi from opening up. The omega was such a secretive person. He rarely ever opened up. It took a year of all of them knowing and caring for each other for him to open up even a little about his depression and anxiety, and he’d been so hesitant to be in the pack a year after that. It was a gift whenever he opened up.
“No wonder you’re such a good protector.”
“I’m not. I’m awful at it. I’m too weak and small to do it properly—“
“What about the first time we went to America and that big alpha guy started hitting on me? You did a pretty good job then.”
Yoongi shook his head and sighed. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have blown up back there...I just, my instincts...”
It was clear that Yoongi wasn’t about to elaborate more on that, so Seokjin just placed a kiss to the crown of his head. Yoongi leaned into the touch unconsciously.
“It’s okay. There were a lot of emotions, and everyone was on edge. You were just protecting your pack. I’m sure Bang PD-nim understands. I know that all of us do.”
Yoongi nodded weakly. He obviously wasn’t convinced, so Seokjin spoke again. “Give me your arm.
Yoongi did so obediently, and Seokjin grabbed it gently, running his fingers delicately over the bite marks on the inside of his forearm, his pack bites. If one looked closely, they’d notice barely-visible scars beneath the marks. Back when BTS had formed their pack, there’d been a bit of a struggle with convincing Yoongi. No one wanted a pack without him, though, so they’d tried to convince him, and along the way, Namjoon and Hoseok had uncovered his habit of self-harm. It hadn’t been an active habit at that point, but the scars had been so dark on his pale wrist and thighs. When Yoongi had finally agreed to be a part of the pack, the rest of the band had decided to place their marks over the scars so that Yoongi would be reminded that he was loved every time he looked down at those old cutting scars.
Pack bites and mating bites were both sensitive. Major distress could be sensed through them, and touching them often sparked the memory of when they’d been given. That was why Seokjin delicately touched Yoongi’s arm. He just wanted Yoongi to be happy.
And Yoongi’s weak smile would just have to be good enough for now.
Chapter 5: Jungkook II
“This just in, the popular K-Pop band, BTS has just released some juicy details regarding their leader, RM, and main vocalist, Jungkook.”
Jungkook stared blankly at his phone.
“Yesterday, BigHit Entertainment, the agency that BTS is signed under, released a statement detailing a romantic relationship between omega singer, Jungkook, and alpha rapper, RM, that has, apparently, been going on in secret for almost five years. This statement had been released in response to a picture that had leaked a few days prior. In this picture, Jungkook and RM are seen kissing. It is believed that this picture had been taken a year ago based on their hair colors.”
Jungkook barely even saw Namjoon walk into the room.
“Fans have been arguing on Twitter about the news. There are both good and bad reactions, including many fans disputing over whether or not Jungkook and RM would look better with different members of the band. Many claim that RM and Jin, the oldest member of BTS, should be in a romantic relationship because they have been unofficially dubbed the ‘mom and dad’ of BTS. Some also argue that Jungkook would look better with the alpha singer, Jimin, or beta singer, V, because of the closeness in age and the chemistry previously seen between them.”
“Jungkook, why are you watching that?” Namjoon sighed, sitting on the edge of their bed by Jungkook’s sock-clad feet.
“There have also been many members of the ‘ARMY’ congratulating the young couple and expressing their support. We, here, would like to wish RM and Jungkook the best of luck. Follow your hearts, boys, wherever they may lead you.”
Jungkook turned his phone off and tossed it somewhere in the mess of blankets. Namjoon was still looking at him, and so the omega looked back. Namjoon looked so concerned. He’d always been such an attentive and supportive boyfriend. He was the perfect man. What, on earth, did Jungkook bring to the table compared to that?
“I just wanna know what’s going on,” the omega mumbled, averting his eyes towards the quilt that covered his lap.
His grandmother had made that quilt after Jungkook had had a conversation with her at one point, explaining to her why him and Namjoon probably wouldn’t be able to get married for a long time even though they both felt like they were ready for it. She had a tradition of making a quilt whenever any of her grandchildren got married, and so she’d made Jungkook and Namjoon one because, in her exact words, “marriage is in the heart, not on paper.” Jungkook had cried when he’d received it, and him and Namjoon had used it ever since. It wasn’t too warm on hot days, nor was it too light for winter nights. It was perfect.
Jungkook wished that he could curl up under that quilt and never come out again.
Namjoon nudged his boyfriend over, and Jungkook moved accordingly. Once he did, the alpha crawled under the quilt and tugged his omega so that his head rested over the rapper’s chest. Jungkook sagged almost on instinct. Soon, pretty little tears were falling from his big doe eyes.
“Aw, baby, don’t cry.”
Jungkook sniffled. “I just feel so bad.”
“There’s no need—“
“This all my fault,” Jungkook lamented. “I shouldn’t have given it to my mom. I knew that she had it hung up on the wall, but I just loved how normal it made me feel, and I’m so sorry, Joon. I messed it all up, and now everyone is in trouble—“
“Baby, stop,” Namjoon said firmly. “This isn’t your fault. You just liked that a picture of you and your partner was on display at your parents’ house. That’s perfectly normal. Honestly, Kook, I wish I had that. I’m so happy that you do...and it’s not even your mom’s fault because it’s her home, and you’re her son. She’s entitled to a picture of you happy and in love. She has pictures of Junghyun and his wife up on the wall, doesn’t she?”
“No buts. It’s the same. We’re idols, Jungkook, but that doesn’t make us any less human, any less of people. We have families. Yours just happens to be super supportive and sentimental. I mean, look at our quilt!”
Jungkook let the corner of his mouth twitch upwards as he cuddled closer to the love of his life. Namjoon’s scent helped muffle the bad thoughts in Jungkook’s head for a little while. The scent was so familiar, so nice, but the man behind the scent was even nicer. Namjoon had done so much for Jungkook over the years.
“I don’t deserve you,” the omega sighed, leaving a tiny kiss on his boyfriend’s clothed chest.
“Actually, you’re wrong about that,” the alpha hummed. “You deserve the world, Jungkook, the universe, actually.”
That made Jungkook roll his eyes. “See? You’re so sweet and comforting, and I just...I don’t know...what do I even bring to this relationship? I’m not even tiny or cute or anything.”
Namjoon gently threaded his fingers through Jungkook’s long hair. The singer looked up at his boyfriend. Namjoon looked sad. Jungkook never liked it when Namjoon was sad.
“Jungkook, we’ve been over this.”
At that, Jungkook sat up in frustration, rubbing at his eyes angrily. “I know,” he huffed. “I’m trying, okay? It’s hard, and then there’s this on top of it all, and sometimes I just can’t.”
Jungkook put his head in his hands. He’d been trying to work on his insecurity for a long time, and some days were really good, but it was still a struggle because he’d been bullied his whole life. He’d been told that he was worthless his whole life, and his pack helped, but it was hard. He saw other omegas with dainty noses and hands, other men with more masculine features, other idols who were so much older and more outgoing, and he just couldn’t help but feel inadequate.
Namjoon sat up and leaned his forehead on Jungkook’s back, big hands settling atop the younger man’s hips.
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon sighed. “I know you’re trying, and I know it’s hard. It just hurts me that you feel so bad about yourself...your heart is so full of love for everyone around you, and yet you can never seem to give some of that love to yourself...You don’t see yourself as you should, baby. You’re so beautiful and loving and selfless...you know just how to make me laugh when I’m feeling down, and you may think you aren’t good with words, but late at night, when all your walls come down and you snuggle up to me with that vulnerable shine to your eyes, I swear, you could be a poet. Your insight is so unique and pure...you make me want to be a better man.”
Jungkook sighed, turning around. When Namjoon looked at him expectantly, he gave a small smile and pressed a kiss to the alpha’s familiar lips. A veiny hand settled on Namjoon’s shoulder, and the alpha, in turn, brought his own hand up to tug on Jungkook’s beautiful long hair.
The couple locked eyes deeply when they pulled away. Jungkook swore that he’d never seen so much love anywhere besides Namjoon’s eyes.
“I love you,” Jungkook whispered softly, afraid to break the sweet atmosphere between them. “More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”
Namjoon smiled that sweet, dimpled smile. “I love you too, baby boy. You have no idea.”
“Well, I’ve got a pretty good guess.”
They kissed again, and their muscles were tense. Their minds were troubled and afraid of what the future held, but their hearts were full and sure. Their love was what mattered most. It was strong and unbreakable.
That would have to be enough to settle their worries, even just temporarily.
Chapter 6: Jimin I
Jimin sat at a bench in the park. He really needed to clear his head, and it had been impossible to do at the dorm lately. Taehyung’s nightmares had gotten worse because of all of the stress, and so he woke up all of Seoul nearly every night with his screaming. Only Jungkook had managed to sleep through the screaming because he’d always slept like a rock. Jimin, on the other hand, hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in over two weeks.
Jungkook had also been in the midst of what seemed to be a depressive episode, but Jimin couldn’t do anything, and that made the alpha mad. Jungkook was his little brother. Jimin just wanted to help him, but he couldn’t, and it was ticking him off. Yoongi had also been closing himself off to everyone but Seokjin, and Jimin was just tired of feeling so helpless.
When it started to get dark, Jimin sighed and stood, making his way back to the dorm. The streets were calm as he walked down them, and the dorm was calm as he entered. He could smell food cooking in the kitchen. Taehyung was probably helping Seokjin with dinner.
When Jimin entered the living room, even Yoongi was in there. That reassured Jimin just a little, and so the alpha collapsed dramatically onto Hoseok. The older alpha squawked in protest, but Jimin just wrapped himself around the man. Hoseok eventually sighed before finally beginning to run a comforting hand along Jimin’s back. Jimin let himself smile, inhaling Hoseok’s sea salt aroma and letting it calm the confused static in his head. Taehyung’s scent usually worked best for calming purposes because he was a beta, but Jimin was calmed by all of his pack mates’ scents.
Jungkook and Namjoon were on one of the couches when Jimin looked over, lying down on opposite ends with their legs tangled together. Those two had always been more casual with their affection around other people. Taehyung and Seokjin would sit in each other’s laps while watching TV, make out on the couch when other people were in the dorm, and keep their hands on each other as often as they could. They were both really physically affectionate and extroverted people, so that worked for them. Jungkook was a shy introvert, though, and Namjoon had a hard time showing affection when there was an audience, so most of their more forward acts of love happened behind their closed bedroom door. They did love to touch each other, though, just in more subtle ways. They tangled their legs together like that a lot.
Yoongi was doing a sudoku as he sat in the big armchair. That piece of furniture made him look even smaller than he was, especially with his habit of curling into a ball whenever he did anything. Yoongi was such a cat. The resemblance was uncanny.
“We have that conference tomorrow,” Hoseok mumbled. “Hopefully Taehyung won’t have any nightmares tonight.”
“It’s not his fault,” Jimin defended even though he was getting sick of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of screaming. “A lot goes on in that complicated head of his.”
“Hey, I know that. I just...I wish I could get a proper night’s sleep.”
Jimin sighed. “Me too.”
The two alphas didn’t notice that Taehyung had entered the room, that he could hear all of it.
Chapter 7: Namjoon II
Namjoon’s instincts were fighting him. He wanted, more than anything, to comfort his omega, but this was a press conference, and many cameras were rolling, so he couldn’t. He’d been instructed to have as little physical contact with Jungkook as possible for this, and that meant that he could only watch as Jungkook shrank into himself.
“Why did this relationship remain hidden for so long?” someone asked.
Namjoon shifted slightly. “Jungkook and I were worried about whether or not we would be accepted by the general public.”
“Jungkook-ssi! What do you have to say in regard to claims that you aren’t omega enough to be with an alpha like RM!”
Namjoon watched as every single member stiffened. This press conference was turning hostile. They needed to be careful.
“I-I was born an omega,” Jungkook answered in a slightly wavering tone. He quickly cleared his throat. “I think that’s all it takes to be an omega in my case...I’m very lucky, but I don’t think our relationship really has anything to do with how many omega traits I have. I appreciate the concern, though. Namjoon-hyung deserves only the best in life.”
Suddenly, Hoseok spoke up. “Being an omega has nothing to do with personality traits. Jungkook was born as an omega, has lived as one his entire life, and he feels like an omega on the inside, so he’s the perfect model for what an omega should be just because of that.”
Everyone was tense as the next question came.
“What about all the fangirls and fanboys that have crushes on you? Why would you risk losing their support over a fling?”
Namjoon felt something fiery spike within him at that. It made him angry, so angry, and he couldn’t take it anymore, so he grabbed Jungkook’s hand on top of the table and held his microphone to his lips.
“I can assure everyone that this isn’t a fling,” he said surely. He’d never been surer of anything than he was of his love for Jungkook. “I love Jungkook, and he loves me. The other members have been supportive throughout our entire relationship, and all of us have agreed that love like this is worth losing some people’s support. I believe that wholeheartedly because the only support I’ll ever need is Jungkook’s support. We’re in love, and if some people can’t accept that, we’re sorry, but it won’t change what we have.”
The rest of the press conference passed in a blur of different reporters trying to create different scandals, but Namjoon did his best to remain calm throughout. He held Jungkook’s hand the entire time and never shied away from expressing just how much he loved his precious omega. He’d probably get in trouble for some of his statements and for the fact that he wouldn’t let go of Jungkook, but he didn’t care. He loved him, and so he did what he had to do.
After it was over, Sihyuk pulled him to the side. Namjoon watched as Seokjin looped a comforting arm around Jungkook’s shoulders and led him down the hall. He just hoped that Jungkook was okay.
“Namjoon, I thought we agreed on no touching,” the CEO said sternly. “And you should’ve stuck to the prepared responses.”
“Sir, Jungkook was about to fall apart right there. What was I supposed to do, watch him burst into tears in front of everyone? And he’s my boyfriend! The world knows it now, so why can’t I hold his hand? Why can’t I be honest about how much he means to me?”
Sihyuk sighed. “It’s bad press. Our angle was supposed to be pushing this under the rug until people forget about it, but people aren’t going to forget about it now.”
“I’m not just going to pretend that he isn’t the love of my life. We’ve been through hell and back together, and if that isn’t commitment, I don’t know what is. Hell, if we weren’t idols that had to keep our personal lives as secret as possible, I would’ve married him by now.”
“Namjoon, you’re too much of a romantic,” the older man sighed. “We don’t know how this will play out once everything settles down, and it may never settle down if you keep doing this, so I need to ask you one question: if it came down to it, what would you choose, Jungkook or BTS?”
Namjoon didn’t even hesitate. “Jungkook, no doubt about it.”
“That’s what I feared.”
Chapter 8: Seokjin II
“Taehyung?” Seokjin whispered gently at the lump on the other side of the bed. It was late, and the omega had just woken up, but he wasn’t going to get back to sleep anytime soon, not when his boyfriend was shaking so much.
Seokjin sat up slightly and turned on the lamp that was on his side of the bed. Taehyung was facing away from him, but Seokjin just moved closer.
When Seokjin leaned over, he could see that Taehyung was awake and crying. That hadn’t been expected. Seokjin had merely thought that Taehyung had been having a nightmare. This wasn’t normal, and Seokjin’s heart almost broke completely at the sight of it.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” the omega cooed. “Did you have a nightmare?”
Taehyung shook his head, and a little whimper escaped from his lips. “No...it was just a dream.”
Taehyung rolled over, and Seokjin brought a hand up to cup his beta’s cheek. Taehyung’s face was blotchy and puffy. Taehyung had always been what he called an “ugly crier,” but Seokjin preferred to think of Taehyung crying as literally the most heartbreaking thing one could ever witness. He hated seeing his lover cry.
“What was it about?” Seokjin asked.
Just thinking about it seemed to trouble Taehyung even more, and he sagged sadly into his pillow. “We were together and...and it was just us, and we were h-happy, and we stayed happy, and we got married.”
Seokjin really wasn’t understanding what was happening. That sounded like an amazing dream. He’d fantasized about marrying Taehyung many times before: an intimate ceremony, Taehyung’s big hands on his waist during their first dance, a honeymoon in some wonderful place that they could explore together as husbands... Marrying Taehyung was an exciting thing for Seokjin to imagine, so why was Taehyung breaking apart at the seams?
“That sounds like a really nice dream...so why are you so sad?”
“Because I woke up,” he spat. “I had—I had a dream that we were happy and in love and that nothing else mattered, but then I woke up, and everything matters, and I’m still fucked up—“
“Taehyung you are not fucked up,” Seokjin interrupted. “You’re perfect, sweetheart, my perfect beta. I love you just how you are, and I have for a long time. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon, so why should anything else matter?”
“We’re in a famous band together, Jinnie. You—you heard Bang PD-nim. If people found out, we’d be finished.”
Seokjin shook his head. “He’s wrong, Tae. Yeah, our relationship is a bit more controversial than Joon’s and Kook’s because you’re a beta, but why should that make a difference? I’m not saying we wouldn’t lose fans, but we wouldn’t just lose our entire fan base because we’re a couple.”
Taehyung let out a weak sob. “I just wish this was normal. I wish I was normal...I just wanna be happy, Jinnie. Is that too much to ask?”
“Oh, Tae, baby,” Seokjin cooed. His heart actually did break at how pitiful Taehyung sounded. “I’m so sorry...I’m sorry you’re hurting so badly. I’d take away all the pain if I could. I hope you know that.”
Taehyung nodded with a hiccup, and Seokjin pulled him in close, Taehyung’s head against his omega’s neck. The beta held on for dear life.
When Seokjin and Taehyung had first met, the elder had resented the other boy a little, for Taehyung had always seemed so bubbly and happy. He’d been outgoing and crazy in the sort of overconfident way that was incredibly endearing, and everyone had loved him. Seokjin had wished to be like that, but then, one day, the omega had found Taehyung in an empty studio late at night, and his entire body had been shaking. That had been the first time that Seokjin had ever witnessed Taehyung having a panic attack. The omega’s nurturing instincts had kicked in, and he’d rushed to help the anxious teenager breathe normally again.
After that night, the two had started to get to know each other, and the more Seokjin had found out, the more worried he had gotten because Taehyung was a firecracker—loud laughs, alien languages, crazy schemes, uncontrollable movements, and everything chaotic in between—and yet Taehyung had also been the most troubled man that Seokjin had ever met.
It was no secret that Taehyung wasn’t mentally healthy, and all of his fellow members agreed that it was probably a combination of depression and anxiety, but the beta had always refused getting help. At first, Seokjin had bugged him about it constantly. Everyone had, but the more he was pestered, the worse it got, and so Seokjin stopped trying as much years ago. He still brought it up every once in a while, but he always tried to make it seem like it wasn’t too big of a deal. He’d always support his boyfriend, but this was an area in which Seokjin was just stuck. He couldn’t help Taehyung, not really, but Taehyung didn’t want to get professional help.
The worst part of it was that Taehyung felt his mental illnesses made him unworthy of basic things like love and companionship. He’d always shut himself away and become closed off. Nowadays, it was easier for Seokjin to break through his walls when he was like that, but Taehyung still just loathed himself sometimes. And, again, Seokjin couldn’t do anything about it.
Seokjin hated feeling so useless.
Chapter 9: Jungkook III
“I’ve seen fire, and I’ve seen rain,” Jungkook sang. “I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end.”
BTS was officially on break, and that did wonders in terms of the issue surrounding Namjoon and Jungkook. Jungkook found that being away from his job for a while really helped with his anxiety over the entire situation. Plus, people on the internet weren’t as intense about it anymore. Many of BTS’s friends and acquaintances had publicly shown their support as well, and that had majorly helped the backlash die down just a little.
And to celebrate, Namjoon and Jungkook were going on a date. It was going to be a proper public date at a nice restaurant, and the omega was buzzing with excitement. They’d never been able to do this before even though they both had always wanted to. Their boss had calmed down a bit, though, and he’d permitted them to be public with their relationship. Apparently, the company was working on a new angle, and that was to make Jungkook and Namjoon the couple that everyone wanted to be. Neither Jungkook nor Namjoon was entirely sure how that would play out, but they were just excited to finally be able to go on public dates together.
“You look stunning.”
Jungkook jumped a little before turning slightly so that he was face-to-face with his dashing alpha boyfriend. Namjoon looked quite easy on the eyes, himself, not that that fact was anything new.
Jungkook smiled prettily. “You look even better.”
Namjoon smirked a bit. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stalked over to his boyfriend nonchalantly. The feeling of him placing a warm palm over the back of Jungkook’s neck was a familiar, possessive gesture that just made the omega feel so utterly safe and protected.
“I seriously doubt that,” Namjoon said softly, a smirk gracing his lips. “No one could ever look as breathtaking as you.”
Jungkook giggled, shaking his head softly. “You’re such a big old sap.”
“Your big old sap.”
Jungkook grinned cheekily. “You got that right.”
And then they were kissing. It didn’t stay soft for long before Jungkook was nibbling on his lover’s lower lip, before Namjoon was tugging his omega’s hair and humming into the man’s mouth. The kiss was passionate, but it wasn’t messy. It was nice, familiar, and reassuring. Namjoon had always been a huge fan of kisses, and he’d definitely gotten Jungkook hooked along with him. Kissing was something they loved to do and did a lot, in private of course.
“Wow, I’m blessed with the rare sight of our maknae and our leader sucking each other’s faces off.”
The couple pulled apart quickly only to see a smirking Yoongi standing in the doorway. Jungkook smiled at him. This vacation was doing wonders for him too. He was coming out of his funk faster than he usually did.
Namjoon kept his arms looped around Jungkook’s tiny, tiny waist as he smirked at the older man. “Trust me, it’s not exactly rare.”
Jungkook giggled a bit, and Yoongi rolled his eyes fondly.
Jungkook kept smiling brightly. “It won’t be so gross once you find someone, hyung. Being in love is fun.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Yoongi waved off dismissively. “I’ll pass. I think I’m quite fine with being by myself.”
When Yoongi sauntered away, Jungkook’s smile fell completely. He had always worried about Yoongi. He respected his hyung’s choices and wishes, but Yoongi had always seemed so lonely. For as long as Jungkook had known him, Yoongi had never been on a date or even talked about having a crush. Of course, he was perfectly capable without a partner, but Jungkook knew what it was like to be in love, and he really wanted that for his friend. He wanted Yoongi to fall in love so that he knew that there would always be people that loved him. Jungkook honestly just wanted Yoongi to be happy.
“Kook, I can see the gears turning in your head,” Namjoon said. “Don’t worry. Hyung knows how to handle himself. If he wants to, I doubt anything would stop him from finding someone to love one day.”
Jungkook frowned as he continued to think, to analyze Yoongi’s actions. He hated how unhappy Yoongi had seemed lately. He hated seeing his hyungs in pain.
“Do...do you think...maybe...”
Namjoon patiently waited for Jungkook to continue. He’d learned that sometimes it just took a while for the omega to organize his thoughts properly.
“Do you think that Yoongi might be scared of alphas?” Jungkook finally finished.
Namjoon’s eyebrows were raised in slight shock. “What? Him and Hoseok are practically attached at the hip most days. How could he be afraid of alphas?”
Jungkook deflated a little. It was stupid, wasn’t it? He was stupid. Of course his theories never made sense. He was just a stupid little omega that wasn’t even smart enough to be able to analyze the actions of his own pack mate. Why was Namjoon—the actual genius, Namjoon—even with someone so dumb and ignorant? He deserved better, better than Jungkook. He deserved someone smart.
A kiss was pressed to Jungkook’s temple, and it made him look up again. Namjoon’s brow was creased in worry. He had always been one to worry.
“I’m not saying you’re wrong, Jungkookie,” he said softly. “I would just like to hear your reasoning.”
“Jungkook, stop. Just tell me. I doubt it’s stupid.”
Jungkook sighed. “I just...when PD-nim came over and I got scared, Yoongi-hyung defended me like I was about to get hurt or something, and he jumped away from you when you tried to touch him after. He called you alpha. That’s not Yoongi-hyung. Hyung hates that...it just made me think that, I don’t know, maybe he’s had a really bad experience with alphas, and it scares him. I’m probably not right, though. Sorry, it probably sounds super dumb—“
“No, it doesn’t,” Namjoon interrupted. “That makes sense. We’ll never know unless he tells us, though, and he doesn’t have to. Sometimes people just can’t talk about stuff like that.”
“I know...I just don’t like seeing him so upset.”
Namjoon pulled Jungkook in for a firm hug, and the omega sagged in his hold. Namjoon was such a good hugger.
“I know it’s hard for you. I don’t like it either, but sometimes people just have to sort things out on their own, and Yoongi-hyung is a very private person.”
Jungkook nodded. “I know.”
Namjoon gave his omega a final squeeze before pulling away.
“That’s enough sad stuff,” he said, running his thumb over Jungkook’s cheek. “What do you say we get out of here and go enjoy our first ever public date?”
Jungkook’s smile came back at that, and he nodded, following his alpha out of their bedroom. He was distracted now, but the worry still existed in the back of his mind.
Jungkook just wanted Yoongi to be happy, was that too much to ask?
Chapter 10: Hoseok I
Hoseok figured that he would go and get himself some fast food before getting home. He’d just gotten back from America, and he didn’t know if there’d be food at home, so it was easier to just get something on the way.
When the driver parked, Hoseok gave a manager his order and waited. It was easier that way. Hoseok really didn’t want to get recognized at that moment.
While he was waiting, Hoseok saw two men standing outside of the building. One was small with a black bucket hat on and matching black clothes that drowned his tiny body in an endearing way. He had a white mask on, but it was pulled down to his chin as he talked. Hoseok could see who it was even from the distance. It was Yoongi.
Hoseok did not recognize the other man, though. This other man looked young, like Yoongi. He was tall and broad with a white muscle shirt on. Hoseok tensed as he saw just how muscular the man‘s arms were. He looked threatening. He looked like a giant next to Yoongi, and Hoseok did not like that one bit. The thought of what could happen made him almost growl.
And then he reached out and put his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder.
Hoseok got out of the car without even thinking. As soon as he’d seen the hand so close to Yoongi’s neck, as soon as he’d seen Yoongi flinch, Hoseok was marching over to them in a fit of rage.
Hoseok barely registered his actions as he ripped the man away from Yoongi and pinned him to the wall, a forearm pressing against the taller man’s throat. Hoseok actually did growl as he finally took in his scent. He smelled like bell peppers and alpha. An unknown alpha had dared to touch his omega pack mate.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he spat at the other alpha. Hoseok wished he was taller than the man, but he was still intimidating nonetheless, if the look on the man’s face was anything to go by.
“Hoseok, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Yoongi hissed.
Familiar big hands fell on Hoseok’s shoulders and pulled him off until he was face-to-face with Yoongi, himself. The omega looked livid.
“He touched you,” Hoseok seethed, looking back at the unidentified alpha. He was rubbing at his neck.
“That doesn’t mean you can go all ballistic and make a scene!” Yoongi growled lowly, looking around. “We’re idols. You have to actually think before you go all shithead alpha on people.”
Hoseok frowned deeply as Yoongi turned towards the other alpha. “I’m sorry, Kisung, this is Hoseok, one of my pack mates. He gets a bit territorial sometimes, if you’d excuse him.”
“It’s fine,” Kisung said carefully. “I know the feeling...Anyways, I’ll catch you later. Remember, you can call any time.”
Yoongi nodded. “Thanks. Tell the others I said hi.”
Yoongi stayed quiet after that, silently joining Hoseok in the company van. It made the alpha a little nervous because he knew that Yoongi was saving the lecture for when they got home.
Low and behold, once they walked through the threshold, Yoongi was on him.
“Are you actually an idiot?”
“He was touching you!” Hoseok defended. “You flinched! What was I supposed to do, hyung?!”
“Anything but that! He’s my brother! He’s allowed to touch me!”
Hoseok frowned. He’d met Yoongi’s brother, and that wasn’t him. What was Yoongi talking about?
“I’ve met your brother—“
“I have six brothers, dumbass!” Yoongi was really yelling now. If the others were home, they were surely worried. “You’ve met one of them!”
Hoseok was getting angry. He felt like he was being scolded, and that made him feel like a child. He hated that. He was an adult. He knew what he was doing.
“How was I supposed to know that?!”
Yoongi squared his shoulders and stepped closer. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW! WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW IS THAT YOU CAN’T JUST ASSAULT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY TOUCH ME!”
It was Jimin. Him and Jungkook were standing in the hallway, worried looks on their faces. Hoseok didn’t pay them any mind, though, because now he was really angry. Someone, an omega at that was trying to overpower him.
“YOU FLINCHED, HYUNG! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN DANGER—“
“SO WHAT, I CAN’T PROTECT MYSELF?!”
“Hey, Yoongi-hyung, Hoseok, maybe you two should cool off.”
Yoongi actually jumped away when Namjoon touched him, but he was still seething. His entire body was vibrating, and Hoseok had honestly never experienced this side of Yoongi being this angry. He was a little scary, but Hoseok was angry, and he knew that he could be scary too, so he stepped closer.
“YOU’RE AN OMEGA IN MY PACK, OF COURSE I’M GOING TO DEFEND YOU!”
“JUST BECAUSE I’M AN OMEGA DOESN’T MEAN I’M INCAPABLE OF MAKING INTELLIGENT DECISIONS AND DEFENDING MYSELF! NOT EVERYONE NEEDS A FUCKING ALPHA TO CODDLE AND PROTECT THEM!”
“YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING LIKE THAT! GOD, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT?! YOU CAN’T GO TWO SECONDS WITHOUT MENTIONING THAT YOU DON’T NEED AN ALPHA, BUT TOO BAD BECAUSE LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING ARM, YOU HAVE THREE!”
“NAMJOON AND JIMIN HAVE THE FUCKING SENSE NOT TO RANDOMLY ASSAULT THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FUCKING HORMONES CHECKED OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS POSSESSIVENESS IS UNHEALTHY!”
And then Hoseok slapped him.
Yoongi’s head jerked to the side as Hoseok’s palm connected with his cheek. The sound of the slap was loud, but the room turned silent after that, and Hoseok watched Yoongi’s anger morph into a cold emptiness in his eyes.
Hoseok regretted the slap immediately. This was his hyung, his best friend! He’d just slapped his best friend. He’d just slapped an omega!
“What do you know?” Yoongi said blankly. “The alpha doesn’t get his way, so he throws around the defenseless little omega...God, I can’t believe that I let you fool me into thinking you were different.”
Hoseok felt like he was going to cry. He hated that look on Yoongi’s face. He was just empty of any emotion, and Hoseok was terrified. He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up badly.
“Hyung,” he gulped. “Hyung, I—“
Yoongi shook his head. “Save it...I shouldn’t have joined this pack in the first place. I shouldn’t have been so stupid to think that it wouldn’t be the same.”
And then Yoongi was turning away. He was walking down the hallway, and Hoseok wanted to follow him, but he wouldn’t have been able to even if he tried because Seokjin was on him in an instant.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The omega hissed. “You can’t just hit people like that, especially not Yoongi.”
“I know. I didn’t mean to, I just—“
“Jung Hoseok, you are twenty-six years old! By now, you should be able to argue with someone without getting violent when things don’t go how you want them to!”
“Well, that’s not good enough! You—“
Seokjin cut himself off as a heartbroken voice started getting louder.
“Hyung, please,” Jungkook begged, following Yoongi into the room. “Please don’t go, hyung, please.”
Yoongi had a stuffed duffel bag over his shoulder, and Jungkook was crying. Hoseok hated that all of it was his fault, that he’d ultimately been the one to cause unrest in the pack. He’d just gotten home. He’d wanted to come back and watch TV with Jimin and Taehyung, relax with his pack, with his family. He’d never wanted this. He’d never wanted Yoongi to leave.
Jungkook caught a strap of Yoongi’s duffel bag and pulled him back. The older omega didn’t seem pleased.
“Jungkook, let go of me.”
The maknae let his tears spill freely as he choked out his words. “Hyung, please. We can all talk this out. We always do that. Please, Yoongi-hyung. I don’t wanna lose you...I can’t lose you.”
Yoongi looked directly into Jungkook’s eyes before bringing his wrist up to rub against his fellow omega’s neck. Jungkook bowed his head at the feeling, and his hold on Yoongi’s bag fell away.
“Hyung’s sorry, Kook-ah,” Yoongi said almost too softly for Hoseok to hear. “But I moved to Seoul to get away from things like this...I can’t let the past repeat itself.”
And then Yoongi left.
Jungkook’s exclamation was met with the sound of the door slamming shut, and the maknae immediately furled in on himself and began weeping in earnest. Namjoon caught his omega in his arms, and Jungkook was hysterical. Hoseok had never seen Jungkook cry like that, wailing and choking. Jungkook had never reached that level before.
And now it was all Hoseok’s fault.
Chapter 11: Jimin II
“How’s Kookie?” Jimin asked Namjoon, biting his lip.
Namjoon looked exhausted. “Not good,” he answered. “He just lied there shaking the whole night...he only just stopped crying.”
Taehyung’s eyes were wide and sad. “My baby...do you mind if we go in and cuddle him for a bit?”
Namjoon smiled at his two dongsaengs sadly. “Of course I don’t mind. You don’t even need to ask that.”
And so Jimin and Taehyung entered the room. Jimin felt like crying, himself, when he looked at Jungkook. The omega was lying in bed with a blank expression on his face. He was just staring at the wall. Taehyung whimpered at the sight, and Jimin almost did as well. Seeing Jungkook so sad and hopeless was just wrong. He was supposed to be bright and cheeky. He was supposed to stay up late playing Overwatch with Taehyung, not lie awake sobbing the entire night.
But, at the same time, Jimin knew that it made sense. Jungkook and Yoongi had always had a very unique bond. At first it would seem as if the bond didn’t exist, but their closeness and love would eventually be apparent before long. Jungkook had always sought out Yoongi for advice, and he’d also always been the first one to go check on the older man in his studio just to make sure that Yoongi wasn’t getting too lost in himself. Yoongi, in turn, had always protected Jungkook more than anyone else. In the face of danger, his first question would always be about Jungkook’s safety and/or whereabouts. They cared for each other deeply.
And so Jimin understood why Jungkook was so upset.
The alpha sat behind his friend on the bed, gently running his small hands through the omega’s hair. Taehyung situated himself on the opposite side of Jungkook and let his finger trace the man’s face.
“Hey, sweetie,” Jimin said softly. He was relieved as Jungkook rolled into his back in acknowledgment.
“Hyungs,” Jungkook croaked, sniffling. “What are you doing here?”
Jimin gently sighed in fake indignation. “Yah, does my little Kookie not want to see me?” He chuckled, clearing Jungkook’s forehead of any lingering strands of hair. “We wanted to spend time with you...see how you were doing, if we could make you feel better.”
Jungkook shrugged and wiped at his face before pulling his youngest hyungs down on the bed with him. The alpha and beta immediately wrapped their entire bodies around the distressed omega, like they always did. The members of the maknae line were avid cuddlers and always enjoyed holding and being held by each other. Jimin just hoped that their proximity, contact, and scents were helping Jungkook now.
Jimin kissed Jungkook’s shoulder sadly before burying his face in the maknae’s neck. The biggest of Jungkook’s scent glands was on the other side, but there were still some here, and so Jimin nuzzled them in comfort. Most people relaxed when his or her pack scented them, but omegas were especially sensitive to this. Their necks, in general, were very sensitive places that, when touched, could trigger responses of love and safety but also panic and unsafeness. Jimin and Taehyung were Jungkook’s best friends, though, so he responded in the former way, melting into them.
Jungkook had always been endearing to Jimin. He’d never felt a romantic pull towards him like Namjoon, but the maknae had always been so cute without trying. He was the same age as Jimin’s younger brother, Jihyun, and so Jimin had first started caring for Jungkook as a sort of substitute for his brother. That had quickly morphed into actually loving Jungkook like a brother very soon, and Jimin had always felt a strong urge to protect him. He felt that urge with Taehyung too. Those two were his sweet little brothers. He’d protect them and love them until Jimin, himself, died.
The dynamics between the alphas and omegas of the BTS pack were unusual, apparently. It was unusual for people of different sub genders to be so close. Jimin had never understood why, but usually packs were made up of a majority of one sub gender. Jimin’s birth pack had originally been mostly made up of omegas. Their alpha mates had been pack members by marriage, but there was only one alpha of the original pack and no betas. Taehyung’s birth pack had been mostly omegas as well, but the others each had their own experience with such. Seokjin’s, Namjoon’s, and Hoseok’s respective birth packs had been mostly alphas, and Jungkook’s had originally been made up of all betas. Yoongi’s, well...Yoongi didn’t like talking about his birth pack.
The reason behind this phenomenon had always been because of dynamics and the fact that people typically liked being with likeminded people. When BTS had made their pack, they’d all been young, especially Jungkook, and that had been stupid of them, but that had also been the only stupid part of that decision because they were meant to be a pack. Jimin would even claim that it had been written in the stars.
Their dynamics usually worked. There’d been a few hiccups, but that had been normal. The important part was that they all loved each other and were willing to work in order to make their pack bond healthy and strong.
Most big decisions were first placed into the hands of Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi. Followers of more traditional customs would sneer at the fact that two omegas were a major part of the decision making, but it worked. Namjoon was calm and rational, Seokjin was nurturing and empathetic, and Yoongi was intelligent and brutally honest.
Jungkook and Taehyung had always been lower on the totem pole, but they’d gained a fair amount more say and security ever since they’d begun their respective relationships. Jimin and Hoseok were in between, and they liked it that way because that didn’t really mean anything. Seokjin, Yoongi, and Namjoon would never decide anything for the pack by themselves. They all would. They’d sit down in a circle on the floor and talk it out. Usually, if even one person legitimately disagreed, there wouldn’t be a decision until further discussion. If it looked like things were going nowhere, then Namjoon, as Head Alpha of the pack, would decide, mostly in favor of the majority decision. The BTS pack wasn’t run by one or two people. It was run by every single one of them.
And Jimin couldn’t deny that he felt the empty space left behind at Yoongi’s absence. It was like his brain was reaching out towards something that used to be there. The pack bites on his calf were stinging with distress, but his focus was entirely on the one closest to his knee, Yoongi’s. It wasn’t stinging constantly like Jungkook’s or Hoseok’s. Instead, there was a worrying feeling of nothing punctuated by sharp pains. At first Jimin had thought that he’d been having Charley horses, but then Taehyung had mentioned sharp pains on the back of his thigh, and he’d seen Seokjin wince and clutch at his bicep when a pain had hit earlier, and so Jimin had come to the conclusion that it was, in fact, Yoongi’s bond that kept flaring in pain.
Jimin just wished that he could do something to stop it, do something to bring Yoongi home again, where he belonged.
After a couple hours of cuddling and soft, light conversation, Namjoon came in again. He was holding his cellphone against his shoulder.
“Kookie-baby,” he cooed softly. Jimin moved so that Namjoon could approach on that side of Jungkook. The Head Alpha sat on the bed and placed his hand softly on his boyfriend’s waist. “I have someone who wants to talk to you.”
Jungkook grumbled. “Do I have to?”
“Babe, I think you’ll want to.”
Jimin lifted a single brow as Namjoon put the call on speaker.
“You’re on speaker, hyung. Kookie’s right here.”
There was a sigh through the phone, but then a deep, raspy voice sounded from the other end of the line, and Jimin gaped.
It was Yoongi.
If Jungkook’s desperate flailing happened to land a punch to Taehyung’s unsuspecting face as the omega rushed into a sitting position, then, well...oops.
Chapter 12: Taehyung I
Taehyung was a very observant person. Not many people knew that about him, but his pack definitely did after all of these years. They knew that he wasn’t an airhead. He was incredibly intelligent and incredibly perceptive, so after ten years of knowing Seokjin and almost six years of dating him, Taehyung knew what all of the signs meant: the unfairly loud ripping sounds from the bathroom, the more subdued nature, the telltale furrow of Seokjin’s brow, the tightness of his thighs, the subtle shift in his syrupy scent...
Seokjin was on his period.
Taehyung loved his boyfriend and loved his boyfriend’s body, but, in general, he’d always been fascinated by male omegas’ bodies. Now that he had a loving and indulgent omega boyfriend, Taehyung was able to actually do something about his curiosity over the male omega anatomy. He’d seen Seokjin naked countless times, and he’d seen Seokjin’s genitalia up close countless times as well. The fact that male omegas had both penises and vaginas had always been this super cool thing in Taehyung’s mind, and he had always been so amazed by how Seokjin handled just whatever that entailed. During puberty Seokjin had dealt with both wet dreams and periods, both inappropriate boners and random, uncomfortable wetness in his underwear. That fact just made Taehyung admire his beautiful boyfriend more, if that was possible. He’d dealt with twice what the four non-omega members of BTS had while growing up.
Because Taehyung had always prided himself on being a sweetheart, he had a tradition. As soon as he sensed that Seokjin was on his period—if they were both home and available—the beta would run to the store and buy Seokjin’s favorite candy, extra pads, and some Midol. Then he would come back home, grab some nice lotion and the heating pad, and absolutely pamper his boyfriend. He’d cuddle with the omega and praise away any insecurity that surfaced during the older man’s sensitive emotional state. Taehyung’s favorite thing to do was give Seokjin an intimate massage. He’d strip his beautiful boyfriend down to his underwear and work the knots from his muscles. Everywhere his hands went, hips lips would find as well until Taehyung was practically making out with his skin. Seokjin had always said that it was both hot and relaxing. All that Taehyung could describe it as was wonderful. He loved doting on Seokjin.
When Taehyung got back from the store, Namjoon smiled knowingly at him from behind his cup of coffee. Taehyung beamed back.
“Hey,” Namjoon hummed. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”
Taehyung just giggled and made his way to his bedroom, the one that he shared with the love of his life. Seokjin was lying on his side with the blankets bunched around him. Adorable. He looked adorable.
“I’m back, darling,” Taehyung singsonged softly before setting the bags down. “You look like you could use a cuddle-buddy.”
Taehyung got the candy out and put it on Seokjin’s nightstand. Then, he found the heating pad and started sifting through his collection of lotions.
“What kind of lotion do you want today, my love? I have coconut, vanilla, rose, lavender—“
Taehyung cut himself off as he heard an indistinguishable grumble from behind him.
He hummed. “Could you speak up a bit, baby? I didn’t catch that.”
Taehyung frowned when Seokjin just sighed. That wasn’t normal, and alarms were going off in Taehyung’s head. Usually Seokjin was just a little needier and more insecure during his period. He’d never seemed so...done.
Taehyung abandoned his task of finding lotion and came to sit on the edge on the bed in front of Seokjin. The omega’s eyes were red and puffy. He’d been crying. Taehyung felt a stab of sadness at the fact. Seokjin must’ve been feeling really insecure this time around.
“Oh, honey,” Taehyung cooed, brushing his omega’s hair out of his face. “Everything’s okay. I love you. You’re so brilliant and beautiful and—“
“Will you please just shut up already?”
Taehyung stopped in every sense of the word, his hand frozen in Seokjin’s hair, his train of thought coming to a complete halt...even his heart seemed to stop beating in his chest. Seokjin rarely ever spoke to him with such contempt and anger in his voice. Even when angry, he’d usually stay calm and just rant a little, not this, especially not when he was on his period. He’d never been one to get angry when he was on his period. That was more of a Yoongi thing. Sometimes Jungkook would get a bit snippy too, but Seokjin never had before, at least not in the presence of Taehyung.
“God,” Seokjin sighed, pushing Taehyung’s hand away. “Can’t you see that I want to be alone?”
Taehyung felt his face heat up, and he sat up a little bit, no longer leaning over his boyfriend. Had he done something wrong? Those were still Seokjin’s favorite sweets, right? Those were the right kind of pads, right? Wasn’t Taehyung supposed to be comforting him? Wasn’t Taehyung supposed to be trying his hardest to banish his boyfriend’s insecurities? That had been what they’d always done before.
“I’m sorry?” Taehyung gulped. “Did I get something wrong? I swore these were still your favorite, and we’ve been buying this brand of pads for years. Did something change? I could go back to the store. I could even send someone else to the store to—“
“You don’t understand,” Seokjin spat, sitting up. “You never understand! All you just do is sit there with wide eyes, and you just don’t get it! It’s not the fucking candy or the fucking pads! It’s you!”
Taehyung felt his eyes start to sting, but he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Jinnie, baby...what did I do? What can I fix? I’ll do it. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”
“What you can do,” Seokjin growled. “Is leave me the fuck alone! Get it through your thick skull, I don’t want you right now! I’m sick of you clinging to me like some scared, lost puppy! I need some fucking alone time!”
“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to—“
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Taehyung flinched back into a standing position at that. Seokjin had never yelled at him like that. What was going on? What had he done? Why was Seokjin so angry with him? Why was he yelling? Taehyung was doing what he’d always done. Was it suddenly not the right thing to do?
“I’M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING BIG EYES AND CONSTANT GODDAMN SHAKING! YOU NEED TO GROW UP OR AT LEAST FIND A FUCKING SHRINK BECAUSE I CAN’T DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! YOU CAN’T JUST CLING ONTO ME LIKE A BABY DOES TO THEIR MOTHER! I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO! I NEED A BOYFRIEND, NOT A CHILD!”
Taehyung shrunk into himself, each of Seokjin’s words stabbing deep into his heart. Seokjin had always been so patient. He’d always reassured Taehyung that the beta helped him too, made him stronger. He’d always told Taehyung that it was okay not to be okay, that he was his perfect, precious little beta. Had he been lying? Had he just been trying to spare Taehyung’s feelings? For the past half of a decade, had he just been waiting for Taehyung to grow up? Was he done waiting?
Would Seokjin break up with him?
“I-I’m so sorry,” Taehyung whispered. Seokjin was still glaring, still demanding Taehyung to leave, this time nonverbally. Taehyung owed Seokjin that much. “I’ll leave now...I can have someone else bring you lunch...I’m sorry.”
Once Taehyung shut the door behind him, he felt his throat close up painfully. He couldn’t cry, though. Wasn’t Seokjin mad at him for being childish? Taehyung couldn’t just start crying every time something didn’t go his way. He was twenty-four years old. He needed to man up.
“Taehyung? Are you okay?”
Taehyung opened his eyes—only then realizing that he had closed them—to see Namjoon standing before him, that familiar worried look overcoming his face. Namjoon worried so much, too much about Taehyung. Taehyung had never deserved that kind of worry.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Taehyung replied, voice calm and monotonous. In fact, a layer of flat nothingness was slowly taking over his mind. Taehyung was familiar with it, the dissociation. It happened whenever things got to be just a little too much. Usually, Seokjin would hold him and run his hands through the beta’s hair when he felt like that, but Taehyung didn’t deserve that. He never deserved anything like that from Seokjin. All he did was take. Seokjin had been right, it was as if the elder was his mother, not his boyfriend.
Namjoon looked dubious. “Why aren’t you in your room? Did he need anything? I could always go get it. I know how you two like to hole yourselves up in there.”
Taehyung shook his head. Namjoon was really too caring for his own good.
“No, hyung. He’s...he just doesn’t want me around right now.”
“Since when?” Namjoon asked in confusion. “Jin-hyung always wants you around.”
“He said he wants to be alone.”
Namjoon was silent, and so Taehyung tried to shake the heavy thoughts from his head, only succeeding a little bit. He needed to get his game face on. If Seokjin was out of commission, it was his job to pick up the slack.
“I should start making lunch. Do you know where everyone is?”
Namjoon blinked twice slowly before answering. “Jungkook’s sketching in bed, Jimin and Hoseok were doing laundry last I checked, and Yoongi-hyung’s still staying with his sister.”
Taehyung nodded and set off towards the kitchen. Hopefully the task of making his pack a nice lunch would help distract him from how empty his heart was and how much it hurt at the same time.
Chapter 13: Namjoon III
Namjoon knocked loudly on the door. His patience was dwindling fast, faster each time he looked at just how empty Taehyung’s eyes were. Something wasn’t right, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.
Namjoon sighed. “Hyung, it’s Namjoon, and I’m coming in whether you want me to or not.”
When Namjoon entered, he spotted Seokjin lying in bed with all of the blankets wrapped around him. It was August, so that couldn’t have been too comfortable, but Namjoon didn’t question it.
When the alpha sat on the bed next to his hyung, he noticed that the omega had his face almost completely buried in a pillow, Taehyung’s pillow. Seokjin’s deep inhale confirmed Namjoon’s initial suspicion. He was craving Taehyung’s scent.
“You know, the real deal is in the living room right now: pacing, then sitting down, then bouncing his leg, then getting up, then pacing...”
Namjoon trailed off, expecting Seokjin to chime in with something, anything. Namjoon needed a lead to chase. He needed some sort of clue as to why Taehyung looked like his soul had been sucked out.
Seokjin removed the pillow from his face, and Namjoon was shocked to see tears running from Seokjin’s eyes. Seokjin really wasn’t a crier, and Namjoon had expected to see him angry or something. He’d expected Seokjin to lash out defensively.
“Is he okay?”
Namjoon sighed, shaking his head. “No, that’s why I’m here...What happened?”
Seokjin sniffled and hiccupped a bit before sitting up and wiping his eyes. Namjoon grabbed his hand, just so Seokjin knew that the alpha didn’t hate him or anything. Seokjin was just as much a part of the pack as Taehyung. Seokjin was Namjoon’s friend as well.
“I messed up,” Seokjin almost gasped. “Fuck, I messed up so bad. He looked so helpless.”
Namjoon bit his lip. “What happened, hyung? I can help you fix it, just please...tell me.”
Seokjin shook his head and sobbed weakly. Namjoon had never seen Seokjin look so tiny and ashamed. The alpha had seen his friend at many low points, but he’d never seen Seokjin like this.
“I...He was so happy, and he was being so helpful. He’s always so helpful...I just...Everything has been so stressful lately, and Yoongi’s gone, and Taehyung only just stopped having a nightmare every night, and I’ve been so worried. Now my hormones are fucked, and I kept thinking that I wasn’t enough for him, and he just came in all perfect and happy, and I just...I took it out on him. I promise, I didn’t mean any of it, I didn’t. I love him. I love him so much, I didn’t mean it—“
“Hey,” Namjoon soothed, putting a stabilizing hand on Seokjin’s shoulder. “I know you love him, hyung. He knows you love him.”
Seokjin shook his head. “Not after what I said...God, Joon, he looked like a scared little boy. I think I properly broke his heart, and I don’t know what to do. I wish I could take it back...I said the complete opposite of what I’ve been trying to assure him of for years, Joon-ah. And he looked like he believed me this time. The one time he believes what I say about him, and it’s not even true.”
Namjoon rubbed at Seokjin’s shoulder soothingly. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t know what Seokjin had said, and still, he really wanted to be mad at the omega, but Seokjin had always bottled everything up. He usually spilled it all to Taehyung, and the beta would listen and help however he could, but it came out as anger this time, and Taehyung’s mental health was too bad for any good to have come out of that. Seokjin had made a mistake, and his remorse over that mistake was genuine, but something told Namjoon that it just wouldn’t be enough for the beta, not right now.
“I think,” Namjoon said softly. “I think you both should take tonight to calm down and clear your heads. You should talk tomorrow, though.”
Seokjin nodded. “I—I understand if he doesn’t want to be around me, but he can take the bed tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch or something.”
“He already said he was going to sleep in Yoongi-hyung’s room tonight.”
Seokjin looked sad, and Namjoon understood. People liked having their partner’s scent around them when they were in distress, and Taehyung was outright denying himself that. He had never done that. Even when him and Seokjin had fought in the past, he’d always end up stealing one of Seokjin’s sweaters and holding it close. Taehyung had just closed off entirely this time, though. It was concerning.
“Is he dissociating?” Seokjin asked.
Namjoon frowned at that. “Yeah, I think so. He’s been pretty silent all day. Not really typical Taehyung behavior.”
“Could,” Seokjin choked slightly. “Could someone lie down with him and run their hands through his hair? That’s what I always do when he dissociates.”
Namjoon nodded, and Seokjin seemed just a tiny bit relieved. He still looked absolutely heartbroken, but it would be like that until he had Taehyung in his arms again.
And that could take a while.
Chapter 14: Jungkook IV
Jungkook held the handle of his bag with one hand, but his other hand held Namjoon’s. He was tired from the long train ride, but the excitement of seeing his family kept him alert and smiling. He’d missed them. He hadn’t seen them in so long, and his mother always fed him and Namjoon until they were almost bursting. Even when he’d been able to in the past, it had been for too short of a time to catch up on anything beyond his professional life. Namjoon hadn’t even been able to come last time, and it had felt way too short.
Now, though, Jungkook and Namjoon were going to spend a week at the Jeon residence. They were going to celebrate their birthdays with Jungkook’s family and catch up on everything. Some extended members of his family were coming. All the original members of his birth pack were chomping at the bit to see him, and so they would. This week was for family. After it was over, Jungkook would go back to Seoul, and Namjoon would head to Illsan to spend his actual birthday with his family and birth pack, but this week was for Jungkook’s loved ones.
Namjoon’s family had never approved of his relationship with Jungkook. The omega had met Namjoon’s parents a few times, and each time would lead to Namjoon desperately trying to reassure Jungkook that he was perfect as the omega cried in their bed. Namjoon’s parents hated Jungkook, and they had no problem telling him exactly why. They hated him because he “looked like an alpha,” because he was years younger than Namjoon, because he had been so young when he’d joined BigHit, because he didn’t like stereotypical omega things, and because of any other random flaw they could find in him. Namjoon would always defend the omega, but after two failed family dinners, the alpha had decided that trying to mix Jungkook in with the Kim family was doing Jungkook way more harm than good. Namjoon had always been sweet like that, doing things for Jungkook’s sake. It made him such an amazing boyfriend.
Jungkook could tell that Namjoon was excited to be back in Busan as well, and that made him even happier. Namjoon’s happiness always made him feel so light and happy. He’d do anything to make Namjoon happy.
When Jungkook knocked on the door, his mother, Jieun, answered in no time. She immediately wrapped herself around her son in a tight bear hug, and Jungkook laughed. He’d missed her. He’d been longing for everything from her caring touches to her calming blueberry scent.
“Ah, my baby!” she exclaimed. “I missed you so much!”
Jungkook rested his cheek on her head. “I missed you too, Mom.”
When Jieun pulled away, she immediately turned to give Namjoon a hug that was just as tight. The alpha chuckled at that, and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh as well. Jieun loved Namjoon.
“Namjoon! It’s been too long,” she sighed, pulling away and letting the couple inside.
When Jungkook stepped into the living room, he was hit with a wave of nostalgia and the intense feeling of home. This was his home outside of the dorm. This was to where he was always welcome to return.
The walls were filled with pictures, pictures of Jungkook’s family and birth pack. They were honestly one in the same. He smiled at the familiar pictures: his cousin’s family, him and his brother as children, his grandparents’ wedding...and what was probably considered way too many pictures of Jungkook and Namjoon together. Jungkook’s favorite was the picture of him and Namjoon slow dancing in that very living room. It had been taken during a family game of truth or dare, when Junghyun had dared Namjoon to dance like that with Jungkook without stepping on his feet. Namjoon had been drunk—they had all been at that point—but the endless dancing that their job had required of them made the task easy, and the moment had actually been kind of romantic. Junghyun still teased Jungkook every once in a while about how whipped he was.
Greeting Jungkook’s father, Jungmin, went much the same way that greeting Jieun had, and Jungkook felt all warm and giddy at that. He was so happy to be home, to see his parents in person, and to be able to stay with them for a week. He felt so elated that it was almost worrying.
Jungkook was snapped back to reality as an ache suddenly overcame his ankle. A quick glance at Namjoon confirmed the theory: someone in their pack was in distress. Each bite provided slightly unique sensations, and so Jungkook could make it out that it was Taehyung.
Jungkook’s parents’ smiles fell a bit as Jungkook and Namjoon became solemn. Jungkook bit into his lip a little too hard and winced.
“Do you think we should check in on him?”
Namjoon nodded slowly, furrowing his brow. “I’ll call. You should catch up with your parents.”
Jungkook nodded, and Namjoon pressed a kiss to his temple before stepping out of the room, taking out his phone. Jungkook really hoped that it was something normal, that Taehyung had taken a nap and had an awful nightmare or something like that. He hated it when his hyungs were in pain.
“Is everything alright?” Jungmin asked, putting a firm hand on his son’s shoulder. Jungkook sighed.
“Taehyung’s mark flared up,” Jungkook frowned. “It’s been doing that a lot lately.”
Jieun cooed sadly and wrapped Jungkook in another hug. “Oh, baby, it’s okay. All people have rough times. He’ll get through this, whatever it is.”
Jungkook winced as the mark continued to throb. He didn’t like it, and he sat down on the couch so he could rub at his ankle. Jieun and Jungmin sat on either side of their son.
Jungkook pulled up the leg of his sweatpants so that he could access his bare ankle. He’d always loved how the bites looked like an ankle bracelet. They spanned around Jungkook’s entire ankle, and when Jungkook rubbed the area soothingly, he could remember when they’d been given. It was so clear when he touched the marks. He could remember how Yoongi had cradled his calf lovingly, how Jimin had tickled the arch of his foot, how Namjoon had firmly pressed his lips against Jungkook’s skin before biting down, how Seokjin had smiled before he bit as well, how Hoseok had rubbed up and down his shin to soothe any pain, and how Taehyung had smugly winked at him with his teeth still buried in the omega’s flesh. A surge of happiness bloomed in his chest at the images, but the pain was still there, and it was worse. What was wrong with Taehyung?
Jieun was rubbing Jungkook’s back when Namjoon walked back in. The alpha’s brow was still furrowed. Something was wrong. Was Taehyung okay? Had something happened?
“Babe?” Jungkook asked. Namjoon gave his boyfriend a soft, worried look.
“Jimin answered,” Namjoon said, sitting down as well. “Seokjin-hyung and Taehyung are on their way to the hospital...Tae was cutting things for dinner, and he spaced out, apparently, and got startled by a police siren. He dropped the knife he was holding, and his foot...Apparently he used a lot of force.”
“He’s hurt?” Jungkook nearly whimpered.
Namjoon nodded. “Apparently the knife was actually stuck in his foot, and there was a lot of blood too. Jimin sounded really frazzled...but they are on the way to the hospital, so don’t worry too much. Jimin promised that someone would call once Taehyung‘s back home.”
Jungkook bit his lip, but Jieun pulled him to her side. “He’s an adult, Jungkook; he can handle a hospital.”
Jungkook nodded, and for the rest of the day, he tried to forget about it.
The omega only truly felt better about it when he got a call from Taehyung that evening explaining that he got stitches and that he had crutches he had to use so that he’d stay off of his foot while it healed. Jungkook felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest when he heard Taehyung’s bright, if not flustered, voice. After calling Taehyung an idiot a few times, he was finally able to take a few actual breaths.
Jungkook would be able to breathe just as long as his pack was okay.
Chapter 15: Yoongi II
Yoongi played with the short hairs on Junghae’s head as she slept in his lap. She’d been born a couple months ago, but Yoongi had been too busy to actually meet her until then.
Seongja sat beside the idol and put an arm around his shoulders. Seongja was Yoongi’s older sister. She’d always made it her mission to look out for him, just as he’d always tried to do for her and the rest of their siblings. They were two of the oldest children, and they’d always had a close relationship. Yoongi would do anything for her.
Seongja was a beta with a beta husband, Deoksu. She was scared of alphas. Her scent had always been so completely soothing to Yoongi, as soothing as her hands and her sweet, sweet smile. She smelled like bread baking. She also had long, silky hair and expressive eyes. She was a bit shorter than Yoongi, but her body always seemed to shelter his whenever she put an arm around him. Yoongi just felt so safe with her around.
“She likes you,” Seongja hummed, motioning towards the sleeping baby in Yoongi’s lap, her daughter. “Why do all children like you?”
Yoongi smiled, running his fingertips over his omega niece’s forehead. “It’s a gift.”
“Or you’re just really nurturing.”
Yoongi chuckled and pressed a finger to his lips. “Shh, don’t tell my pack.”
“Oh, please, you’ve basically adopted the maknae line as your children. I doubt you could ever pull off the whole bad guy facade for that long.”
“It’s not that I want to seem like a bad guy,” Yoongi clarified. “I just don’t want them to find out too much.”
“Yoongi, they’re your pack—“
“Noona, we’re young. Jin-hyung’s only a few months older than me, and everyone else is younger. Jungkook is almost five years younger than me. People this young aren’t ready for this kind of information. Plus, do you know how much it would break their hearts? Especially Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jin-hyung? I can’t do that to them.”
Seongja sighed. “Yoongi, you need to tell them these things...I know that the pack we grew up in wasn’t loving or open, but that’s how they’re supposed be, Yoon. My pack knows everything, and they’ve learned how to help me and how they can be supportive. It’s not anything to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed.”
Seongja looked down at her daughter, and Yoongi followed her gaze. Junghae was dead to the world.
“I can say this because she’s asleep,” the beta replied. “Bullshit. I can see it, Yoongi-yah. I know you. You think being abused makes you weak, but it doesn’t. My pack helped me believe that about myself, and yours could help you in the same way.”
Yoongi shook his head. “They don’t need this. They already worry about me enough because of the depression, and other things are going on. Tae’s having a bad episode, and Jungkook and Namjoon’s relationship just went public. They don’t need to be worried about me. I’m the hyung to most of them, and Seokjin-hyung knows a tiny bit. If he knew more he’d worry even more, and he already has Taehyung to be concerned about.”
Seongja slapped her little brother upside the head.
“What was that for?”
Seongja frowned. “You’re being an idiot, Yoongi, and you need help. You need someone as a support. The fact that you got so scared that you’re staying with me is evidence enough. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but you need to tell someone. I can’t watch you wither away again.”
Yoongi softened at the moisture visible in his sister’s eyes. In his teen years, a while before he’d become a trainee, Yoongi had suffered through a long, awful depressive episode, and he’d even attempted suicide three times. Each time, Seongja, Kisung, Joongi, and/or their oldest brother, Dongmin had stopped him. Seongja had been forced to rip pill bottles out of Yoongi’s hands and shove her fingers down his throat to make him throw the other ones up. Kisung and Dongmin had fished him out of the lake at one point as well, and Seongja and Joongi had been the ones to rush his bloody, incoherent form to the hospital. Seongja and Dongmin had taken it the hardest and had always kept an eye on him since, over-analyzing fan-cams from concerts and calling at least once a month. Yoongi was doing better now, though. There was no reason to worry.
“Noona,” Yoongi said sadly. “I’m doing better. Overall, I’m happy now. My pack makes me happy.”
“Then tell them.”
“Seongja-noona, I can’t—“
“You can’t just act like this never happened,” she cut him off. “We were all hurt badly, but you...you got the worst of it, even worse than me and Dongmin-oppa. They hurt you when you were a baby, Yoongi. They starved you and wouldn’t let us share our food—“
“I know, noona,” Yoongi cut her off. He really didn’t want to relive it. “But that’s not me anymore. Everyone’s out, Father is in jail, and so are the mothers. I’m not that kid anymore. I’m Suga. I’m a world-famous rapper, I have my own pack, and I’m happy. I am. That me from the past doesn’t have to exist anymore.”
Seongja looked like she wanted to say more, but then Junghae started crying, and the beta seemed to just know that it was because the little one was hungry. Yoongi didn’t even bat an eyelash as Seongja unbuttoned her shirt and grabbed the baby. Seongja’s other kid, an alpha boy named Haneul, came into the room at that point and scrunched his face up at the sight of his mother beginning to breastfeed his sister. Yoongi rolled his eyes. Hanuel was seven years old and seemed to be starting that phase where everything that had to do with girls or omegas was gross. Yoongi was the exception to that, apparently. Hanuel had always loved Yoongi.
“Ew,” he hissed.
“Now, Hanuel,” Yoongi said, getting up from the couch and going over to ruffle his nephew’s hair. “That’s no way to talk to your mother. Junghae’s just hungry, and that’s how babies eat. You ate like that when you were a baby.”
The alpha pulled a disgusted face, and Yoongi sighed before leading the boy out of the room. He’d distract Hanuel so that there wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe Yoongi could teach Hanuel some more music theory. Hanuel seemed to find that interesting.
He couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t grateful for the escape that Hanuel had provided him. He hadn’t been a fan of that conversation at all.
Seongja just didn’t understand, though. He couldn’t let his pack find out about all of the atrocities that Yoongi had lived through. It would taint them and their perceptions of him. He couldn’t let that happen.
Chapter 16: Namjoon IV
Namjoon smiled devilishly as Jungkook squirmed in his lap. The omega was laughing, and Namjoon just couldn’t get enough of that clear, childlike laugh.
So he continued to tickle him.
“Babe!” Jungkook gasped in between giggles. “Stop!”
Everyone was laughing, themselves, at the display, especially Jungkook’s brother. Junghyun was even taking pictures, and Namjoon reminded himself to ask for them later. Jungkook probably looked gorgeous in every one of them.
The omega pouted at his boyfriend once the tickling stopped, but Namjoon just kissed his nose. They had always been a little freer with their affection in the presence of Jungkook’s family, probably because everyone was just so close in the Jeon family. Namjoon often found himself being more affectionate with his handsome boyfriend than he was even at the dorm.
“So, I saw that you two are public now,” Junghyun said after everyone calmed down. “How’s that been going?”
Namjoon squeezed Jungkook’s muscular bicep as the younger man answered. “Well, it was pretty rough at first, and we both got some nasty comments, but it’s been calming down. We got to go on a date out in public the other day, and some people have stopped saying that I’m not omega enough for him.”
Namjoon pulled Jungkook so that their entire upper bodies were pressed against each other, back to chest. The alpha left a gentle kiss on the omega’s shoulder in comfort. Jungkook couldn’t always see it, but Namjoon adored him so ineffably much. He’d do anything for his omega.
“You’re perfect, baby boy,” Namjoon hummed reassuringly. “No matter what anyone says, you’re perfect...perfect for me.”
Jungkook blushed slightly as he nodded, leaning back a little into Namjoon’s warm and solid body. Junghyun pretended to gag.
“You two are disgusting.”
“Jeon Junghyun!” Jieun exclaimed.
Namjoon smiled as Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. “We’re in love, hyung. Madly in love! So in love that it hurts!”
“Shut up, you brat, I get it,” Junghyun rolled his eyes. “I’m so sorry that I’m grossed out when I hear someone call my little brother ‘baby boy.’”
“I think it’s sweet,” Mina, Junghyun‘s wife piped up.
“See?” Jungkook taunted. “It’s sweet.”
Namjoon laughed softly against Jungkook’s shoulder. Junghyun and Jungkook were such stereotypical brothers. Junghyun was a beta, and so were both of Jungkook’s parents, so the omega had grown up sticking out a bit, but he’d told Namjoon that Junghyun had never treated him like the stereotypical weak omega. They’d wrestled a lot when they were kids, and they still bickered constantly. They loved each other, though. That much was obvious.
Jungkook was still the only non-beta member of his family. (Namjoon had once said that out loud, and Jungkook had replied that it was untrue because Namjoon was his family too. Namjoon had kissed the breath out of him as soon as he’d regained his own.) Mina was a beta, and most of his birth pack was made up of betas. He never seemed to feel left out or different, though. He’d always just been Jungkook, never defined by his sub gender. So what if he was an omega? That didn’t mean that he was different.
Namjoon loved how comfortable Jungkook was around his family.
Jungkook eventually moved so that he was sitting beside Namjoon with his legs bent over the alpha’s lap, giving Namjoon’s almost numb thighs time to recover. Namjoon kept a hand on his omega’s ankle, running his thumb over the pack bites there until Jungkook was reduced to a smiling ball of softness, complete with closed eyes and pleased purring.
Junghyun rolled his eyes. “You two are just something else entirely.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?” Namjoon laughed.
“A compliment,” Mina answered before throwing a pointed look towards her husband. “Right, babe?”
Junghyun sighed. “Why yes, you two are just so adorable, and I totally do not feel weird seeing my little brother being all soft and romantic.”
Jungkook cracked an eye open at that. “Do you seriously find it weird? Joon and I have been together for almost five years.”
Junghyun lost the teasing expression on his face for just a small moment, eyes growing tender. “Of course I don’t find it weird. I like seeing you happy and relaxed. What kind of hyung would I be if I didn’t give you shit, though?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile, and Namjoon reached over to brush some stray hairs out of the omega’s face. He let his hand linger for a moment. Jungkook leaned into his touch naturally, and it made Namjoon smile. Jungkook trusted and loved Namjoon on instinct.
The entire family watched a horror movie together, and Namjoon wasn’t always a fan of horror movies, but he’d always be willing to watch one with Jungkook. The man loved horror movies so much that it was a bit ridiculous.
Namjoon enjoyed watching Jungkook watch horror movies. The omega got so into the good ones. His favorite was this English one with Halle Berry and Robert Downey Jr. in it. Namjoon had been with Jungkook when he’d first seen it, and the expressions on his face had been nearly comical. It had warmed Namjoon’s heart in a rather intense way. That happened every once in a while. Every so often, when Jungkook smiled like Namjoon was his favorite person in the world, when his gorgeous voice spilled through the speakers and Namjoon’s in-ear monitors at concerts, when he would whimper breathily into Namjoon’s ear and grip tightly onto his shoulders, when Namjoon listened to “Answer: Love Myself” and heard Jungkook sing “I’m learning how to love myself,” when Jungkook’s bare skin shone in the warm, yellow light of their bedside lamp...it would make Namjoon feel this surge of love, fondness, and endearment. It was almost overwhelming when it happened, but it was welcomed. Namjoon welcomed, with open arms, anything and everything that had to do with Jungkook. In Yoongi’s words, he was “beyond whipped.”
But, as Jungkook cuddled up to him beside the rest of the Jeons and watched the screen with stars in his Bambi eyes, Namjoon mused that he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Chapter 17: Jimin III
Jimin sighed. “Taehyung, really, Hyung can handle it. Just sit with me. You’re injured.”
Taehyung frowned at his best friend. “I want to be useful.”
“Tae, you’ve helped Seokjin-hyung with nearly every meal for years. You can sit out every once in a while, especially when you’re injured.”
Taehyung kept frowning, but he still followed Jimin into the living room, crutches clinking noisily against the floor as he moved. Jimin made sure to put a pillow on the coffee table so that Taehyung could rest his foot on it comfortably, and the beta complied quietly. Jimin didn’t like that Taehyung was being so quiet. Him and Seokjin had made up the day after their fight, and Jimin knew them both well enough to see that the issue really had been resolved, but Taehyung had still been more withdrawn ever since. It was incredibly worrying.
Another worrying thing was Taehyung’s injury, more specifically when he’d gotten it. Taehyung had always zoned out a lot, but he’d rarely ever be so out of it that he flinched at noises. That only happened when he was exhausted and also at his limit in terms of stress. The last time Jimin had seen something like that, Seokjin had needed to hold Taehyung tightly against his chest for hours as the beta wailed loud enough to wake all of Korea. That had been Taehyung’s lowest point.
Now, Taehyung just seemed so dull, like he was Taehyung but with all of the “Taehyung” taken out, if that made sense. Jimin left it mostly alone, but he still cuddled Taehyung closer than usual when he sat next to the man, held him a little tighter as he scented him a little longer.
Jimin let himself relax his body into Taehyung. Taehyung’s peanut scent was so calming, and the alpha in him was pleased that his pack mate was covered in his own cedar wood scent. Jimin hoped that this was comforting Taehyung as well. Physical affection had always calmed and comforted Taehyung.
“When’s Kookie coming back?” Taehyung asked after a bit, once the scent of food had begun to drift into the living room.
“Tomorrow. Then Namjoon-hyung is coming back from Illsan on Monday.”
Taehyung hummed, leaning a little more into Jimin. He was quiet for a while before he spoke again.
“Have you ever wondered how our lives would be if none of us had never met?”
Jimin was caught off guard by the question. He hadn’t been expecting something like that.
“No,” the alpha replied with a deep frown. “Even beginning to think about it makes me sad.”
Taehyung nodded a little. “BTS is all I am.”
His voice had sounded so empty, and Jimin didn’t like it.
“That’s not true, Taehyungie,” Jimin argued. “You’re more than that. It’s given you a lot, yes, like us, Seokjin-hyung, fame, and all the music we’ve made together, but you don’t begin and end with BTS. You’ve got so much apart from that. You are so much apart from that. You’re a fashionista, a drama queen, a nut job, a friend, a lover, a brother...you’re so much more than just V, Taehyung.”
Taehyung didn’t speak for a long time again, and it was really worrying Jimin. Was Taehyung having an identity crisis? Was this the reason behind his aloof behavior and sad demeanor?
“I’d still be on the farm if I’d never gone through with that audition...driving a tractor and picking strawberries. I’d be alone...I’d have no one to sing to...I’d have no one to hug me.”
Jimin felt a little like crying at the mental image because Taehyung was partially right. Without BTS, there would be no way for him to have ever met Seokjin. Seokjin had been a city boy, and Taehyung had been a farmer’s grandson. It would’ve been rare for him to meet anyone else as well. Maybe he would’ve ended up meeting Yoongi as they both bought street food in unfamiliar streets of Daegu, but Jimin and Jungkook were from Busan, Hoseok was from Gwangju, and Namjoon was from Illsan. The chances of them meeting if BTS or their trainee programs had never existed would’ve been slim to none.
“Don’t think like that,” Jimin whispered. “It’s not real. This is real. The love of your life is just in the other room, and your best friend is right here beside you. You make music, and you get to sing in giant stadiums for countless screaming fans. You have a pack, a family. What do all of those hypothetical scenarios matter when you have what you have?”
Taehyung hummed, but it didn’t look like he felt better. Why didn’t he feel better?
Jimin made a mental note to tell Taehyung how much he appreciated him more often.
Chapter 18: Hoseok II
Hoseok frowned as he took the pill. He hated that he had to take them. He hated that he was broken.
But he’d hit Yoongi. He was broken, and this was all that he could do to fix it at this point.
Hoseok had gone to get his hormone levels checked, and the results had, in fact, proven that he had a hormone imbalance. The doctor had prescribed him pills to take that were supposed to help, but Hoseok still just felt bad. He felt even worse every time he had to take the pill because it proved that there was something wrong with him.
Hoseok had been trying to distance himself from his pack without being too obvious because he was dangerous and didn’t want to hurt any of them anymore. He’d apologized to all of them and had sent Yoongi many guilty, apologetic, and desperate texts. Everyone but Yoongi had seemed to forgive him. Yoongi hadn’t responded to any of the texts, though, and that made Hoseok feel like the scum of the earth.
When Hoseok pulled up his pants, they just fell down again, and he felt like crying. None of his clothes fit lately because he was losing weight, but he hadn’t felt hungry in so long. He had no appetite, and he was skipping out on the meals that Seokjin would make as a way of distancing himself.
Now, his pants didn’t even fit him anymore.
Hoseok gave up on doing anything productive that day. He was already so upset, and it wasn’t even ten o’clock in the morning. So he took off his pants and collapsed into his bed. It felt like there was this giant weight on his chest, pressing so hard that he couldn’t breathe without feeling some sort of pain. The alpha hated it.
Hoseok lied like that for a while before he could hear his door open. He hoped that it was just Jimin and that the other alpha wouldn’t linger, at least that he wouldn’t ask questions. Hoseok’s hopes were dashed, though, when he felt a tall, muscular body wrap itself around him from behind, cuddling him. The scent of coconuts filled Hoseok’s nose.
“Jungkook, Hyung wants to be alone.”
Jungkook didn’t budge.
“No you don’t,” he mumbled into his hyung’s shoulder. “...your mark hurts.”
Hoseok frowned, but he didn’t even turn. He just let Jungkook bury his face into the alpha’s scent glands. Jungkook scented him softly, intimately. Hoseok guessed that Jungkook was just missing Namjoon. Jimin must’ve been out of commission, and Jungkook must’ve been desperate enough to seek out Hoseok out of all people. Jungkook only wanted alpha pheromones; he was just too embarrassed to admit that, so he pretended that he was concerned about Hoseok.
“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jungkook whispered against the back of Hoseok’s neck.
“I’m fine, Kookie.”
“But your mark...”
Hoseok sighed. “I’m just feeling a bit sick, Jungkook, don’t worry about me.”
It was a lie, but Hoseok liked to think that he was a good liar. He was proven right.
“Sick?” Jungkook asked. “Do you need medicine? Do you want me to get a bucket? I could get Jin-hyung to make soup.”
Hoseok shook his head. “I just need some rest. Then I’ll be okay.”
Jungkook hummed and cuddled even closer. “I’ll keep you company.”
Hoseok sighed, and the two of them stayed like that until lunch. When Jungkook got up to go eat, Hoseok told him that he was too nauseous for food. The omega believed him.
He was too trusting for his own good.
Chapter 19: Namjoon V
The sound of the phone ringing woke both Namjoon and Jungkook. The omega groaned at the fact that he was awake as Namjoon sat up and grabbed the offending device. One of their managers, Sejin, was calling, and it was three AM, so Namjoon immediately knew that it was something serious.
Namjoon ran his hand over Jungkook’s bare chest comfortingly as he answered.
“Namjoon, are all of the other members home?”
Namjoon frowned at the seriousness of Sejin’s voice. What was going on? Were they in trouble again? Had someone posted a picture of Taehyung and Seokjin this time?
“Seokjin’s at his cousin’s house, and Yoongi’s at his sister’s house. Taehyung said he was going to attempt a bit of songwriting in my studio, and he was still gone when I went to bed. Otherwise...Jungkook’s right here, and Hoseok and Jimin were sleeping when we went to bed, at least.”
Sejin sighed. “I’m going to have to call Yoongi, but I feel that it would be better to have one of you guys call Seokjin.”
Namjoon was so confused, and Jungkook was looking more awake at this point, starting to get concerned. Namjoon just kept gently rubbing the omega’s skin.
“What’s going on? Why do Seokjin and Yoongi need to be called? If we need to have a meeting, I’m sure it could wait until the morning.”
There was a pause for a moment before Sejin sighed loudly. He sounded like he was at a loss for what to do. He sounded frazzled.
“I’m sending a van to the dorm. Get your boys up and dressed. I’ll call Yoongi. Have someone call Seokjin because...God...I’m at the hospital right now, Namjoon.”
“Hospital?” Namjoon asked. Was Sejin hurt? “Are you okay?”
Sejin laughed mirthlessly. “It’s not me, kid...A janitor was cleaning out one of the dance studios, and he found Taehyung in there.”
Namjoon immediately moved his hand down to find Jungkook’s. He needed the comfort, himself, at that moment. Taehyung was in the hospital? Had he injured himself? Of course he had. The question was: how serious was this?
“What? What happened? Is he okay?”
“There’s no easy way to tell you this Namjoon,” the manager said solemnly. “The janitor found him passed out in a pool of vomit. There were bottles of pain medication next to him. The paramedics think he took anywhere from thirty to eighty...Taehyung tried to kill himself...They aren’t one hundred percent sure that they made it in time, so I really need you to get your boys together, Namjoon. Please.”
“Oh my god,” Namjoon choked.
A lump shoved its way into his throat, and he really tried to hold back his tears, but they stung so badly. Taehyung...Taehyung had tried to kill himself. Was he dead? He couldn’t be. If he was dead, their pack would be left in shambles...Why had he done it? Couldn’t he see how loved he was, how important he was?
Jungkook had fully sat up at this point, and his eyes were wide, searching. It was like when Namjoon had talked to Seokjin about his fight with Taehyung. Jungkook was searching for clues in Namjoon’s actions...Had Namjoon not done a good enough job that day? If he’d tried harder, could he have prevented this?
The alpha snapped out of his head at the manager’s voice. He took a steadying breath.
“I’m sorry, hyungnim,” he forced around the mass of emotion in his throat. “I’ll wake Jimin and Hoseok up and have everyone get dressed.”
Sejin sighed. “Thank you. There’s a private waiting room, but I’ll meet you at the entrance. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to call for a van and then call Yoongi.”
Once he hung up, Namjoon got up mechanically. Jungkook quickly threw on a sweatshirt and followed his boyfriend.
“Namjoon, who was that? What’s wrong? What happened?”
Namjoon couldn’t say it, though. He couldn’t say it and then repeat himself to Jimin and Hoseok. Seokjin needed to know too...
Oh no. Who was going to call Seokjin?
Who was going to tell Seokjin that the man he loved had attempted suicide? Over the phone at that? Namjoon didn’t know if he could do it, if he could deliver such awful news, for he couldn’t even imagine how he’d feel if Jungkook had tried anything like that.
It was at that moment that Namjoon fully looked at his boyfriend, the love of his life. He loved him so much. If Jungkook ever tried to kill himself, he’d fall apart and collapse faster than a sandcastle under a wave of water.
Namjoon pulled Jungkook in for a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, I...the others need to know, and I really don’t think I can say it more than once. Fuck, I don’t think I can tell Jin-hyung.”
Jungkook returned the hug and pressed a soft kiss to Namjoon’s lips. He smelled so nice. Namjoon really just wanted to bury his face in Jungkook’s neck and hide there for the rest of time, but he had to do this. He was the Head Alpha, the leader. He had to hold himself together.
“Shh, just slow down, baby,” Jungkook whispered against his lips. “It’s okay. Let’s wake them up. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll call Hyung, okay? Just breathe. Whatever it is, we’ll get through this. We always do, babe.”
Namjoon nodded, and together, the couple woke up their sleeping pack mates. Once everyone was dressed and sitting down in the living room, Namjoon felt his breaths picking up again. He wanted, more than anything to keep this information to himself. He didn’t want to hurt them, but if they had to hear it from Sejin or, heaven forbid, a doctor, Namjoon would never forgive himself.
Jungkook rubbed Namjoon’s back, and so the alpha decided that he’d just have to bite the bullet and tell them before he broke into a thousand pieces.
“Taehyung’s in the hospital,” he exhaled. “A janitor found him unconscious in the dance studio, and he...he overdosed...he tried to...he tried to kill himself, I’m sorry.”
Jimin cried so loudly that Namjoon was reminded of how Taehyung would scream when he had a nightmare. Namjoon had never longed more for that sound.
Hoseok just stared at the coffee table with wide eyes as he cried, but Jungkook...Jungkook wrapped himself around Namjoon like he always did when he felt like he was about to fall off of a precipice like this. The omega sobbed quietly but strongly, and all Namjoon could do was hold him as he cried too. He just hoped that Taehyung would be okay. He needed Taehyung to be okay.
“Is h-he okay?” Jungkook gasped, pulling away, slightly.
Namjoon shook his head, and his shoulders began to follow its example. “They don’t know...he took so many pills, Kookie...they say he could’ve taken eighty, and Seokjin’s not here, and I can’t even imagine how he’s gonna feel. I mean, if it was you—“
The Head Alpha cut himself off with a sob, and Jungkook immediately pulled him in as close as possible. Namjoon was falling apart. They couldn’t lose Taehyung. He had to be okay.
“Shh, he’ll be okay, Namjoon. We’ll get through this,” Jungkook whimpered. “Just please breathe.”
Namjoon couldn’t. No matter how many times Jungkook told him to, Namjoon just couldn’t breathe.
Taehyung had to be okay.
Chapter 20: Yoongi III
If anyone told Yoongi that six was a nice, round number, he’d promptly punch him or her in the face, repeatedly. If it was a guy, he’d kick him in the balls for good measure.
Yoongi was certain that six was an awful number.
Six members of BTS sat in a waiting room, six members of BTS were crying, and six members of BTS had no idea if the seventh was even alive. Six was an awful number, a cruel mockery of seven. It wasn’t right. They were supposed to be together, all of them.
Hoseok was holding onto Seokjin as the omega blubbered endlessly. It broke Yoongi’s heart a bit. He knew how much Seokjin loved Taehyung. To think that he could be dead...
Jimin was leaning against Yoongi, and his tears were pretty quiet at this point, but it still hurt to feel the wetness on his shirt. It hurt just as much as the sight of Jungkook and Namjoon desperately trying to hold each other together on the seats next to Yoongi. Yoongi was crying silently at everything: at the fact that Taehyung had felt so hopeless, at the fact that he could be dead, at the sight of his pack in pain, at the aching of his pack bites, at the guilt of leaving them for so long...everything.
He really just needed to know that Taehyung was alright.
“Family of Kim Taehyung?”
All six of them rushed over to the doctor. He looked a little alarmed but also incredibly pitying. Yoongi wanted to hit him. They didn’t need pity; they needed Taehyung.
“You’re his family?”
“We’re his pack,” Yoongi hissed. Packs had legal rights to the same information that family did, and they were a legal pack. They were entitled to information on how Taehyung was.
The doctor cleared his throat awkwardly. “Ah, I see...so, I assume you’re aware of the situation he was found in? That he had overdosed on a mixture of prescription and non-prescription pain medication?”
Everyone nodded, and Seokjin looked a little like he was going to collapse.
“So, we’ve concluded that he took seventy to eighty pills. We’ve pumped his stomach, but he‘s still unconscious. He is alive, though, and there’s a very good chance that he’ll wake up within the next six hours.”
“Oh, thank god,” Seokjin gasped. Hoseok pulled him close yet again as the omega sagged.
“Now, this is considered a suicide attempt, so we’ll have to keep him for a minimum of seventy-two hours for a mandatory suicide watch. He’ll need to consult with a psychiatrist, and they’ll decide what they think is best for him in terms of therapy, medication, etc,” the doctor informed. “I can take you to him now, though he may not wake up for a while.”
Yoongi felt like someone had just unlocked chains that had been around his neck for his entire life. Taehyung was alive. He wasn’t okay, but he was alive. They could work with alive. They could help him. All of them could help him want to live again. They’d done it for Yoongi—they didn’t know that they had, but they really had—so they could do it for Taehyung.
As soon as the door opened, they all saw Taehyung asleep on the bed, the monitor to his left proving that he was, in fact, alive. It was such an alarming sight, and Seokjin wasted no time before he rushed over to his boyfriend’s bedside, grabbing his hand. The doctor left them alone with Taehyung, and everyone pulled chairs from the corner of the room and sat around the bed. Seokjin had Taehyung’s hand pressed to his cheek, fingers locked around the beta’s wrist tightly, feeling his pulse.
Yoongi stared at Taehyung. He looked so un-Taehyung-like. He looked uneasy and disturbed even in his unconsciousness, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes. The lighting made his skin look strange, and he looked weird in the paper gown that was over him. He didn’t look how he was supposed to. Was this how Yoongi’s siblings had felt when he’d slit his throat and wrists so long ago?
“It’s all my fault,” Seokjin wept into his boyfriend’s skin. “All my fault.”
“Hyung,” Yoongi said softly from beside the other omega, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is, Yoongi! I’m his boyfriend...Maybe it was when I yelled at him—“
“He forgave you for that, Jin-hyung,” Jimin said surely. “You didn’t cause this.”
“But if I had just been a better boyfriend, he’d tell me he felt like this! He’d tell me if he wanted to die!”
Yoongi let out a breath. “It doesn’t always work like that...sometimes, when you want to die, you think that you’d be burdening everyone else by telling them, or that they wouldn’t care, and...there’s nothing that any outside person could say to make that go away. It’s all internal.”
“How would you know?” Seokjin spat. Yoongi knew that he wasn’t actually angry at anyone but himself, so he just let the hostile tone go.
It was then that Yoongi realized that the only way he could even maybe help Seokjin feel better was by coming clean. For once, he didn’t want to hide from his pack. He loved them and trusted them with his life.
“I know, because I’ve been on the other end of this.”
It was then that Namjoon’s head snapped up from where he’d been resting his forehead on Taehyung’s hip. He wasn’t the only one with a shocked reaction either. All of his pack mates were looking at him with wide eyes.
“Hyung,” Jungkook whispered. “You...? When...?”
Yoongi averted his gaze towards the blanket on Taehyung’s lower half. “Uh, the last time was...a little under a year before I became a trainee.”
“The last time?“ Seokjin asked harshly. “It was more than once?”
“Yeah, uh, three times,” Yoongi clarified awkwardly. “My older siblings found me each time...my noona shoved her own fingers down my throat the second time so that I’d throw up the pills. The first time, I’d just needed CPR because I tried to drown myself, but the last time was the worst, and there was a lot of blood and the hospital, and oh god, I’m sharing way too much. I’m sorry, you didn’t need to know that—“
“Hyung,” Hoseok croaked. He was crying again. “It’s okay...I’m so sorry that—that you felt that badly.”
Yoongi wiped his traitorous eyes, grimacing at the wetness coming from them. He wasn’t supposed to be affected by this anymore, but he’d never told them, and Taehyung had done it, so he was actually on the other side and understood how awful his siblings must have felt. He felt like he was drowning all over again, and he just needed a life preserver before he drowned for real this time.
“You haven’t,” Jimin said in a strained voice. “You haven’t wanted to since we all met, have you?”
Should he go this deep? Had he already divulged too much information?
“I...a little before we debuted, I...I was going to jump off of the top of the company building, but...but I ran into Namjoon in the hallway, and he...he invited me to lunch with him, so I went to lunch instead.”
Namjoon looked like his eyes were going to bug out of his head, and Yoongi chuckled a little through his tears.
“Yeah, Joon, you accidentally saved my life.”
Everyone merely stared at Yoongi, and he just wiped his eyes before gently placing his hand on Taehyung’s thigh. He had to get himself together; he was supposed to be encouraging everyone, not making them sad.
“You all saved my life,” the omega continued. “You and Taehyung. I’m...I had some really hard times growing up, but then I met Namjoon, and he became my first real friend, and then each one of you came into my life, and I...because of all of you, I haven’t actually wanted to die in years. You all helped bring me to a point where I legitimately love my life, and so I—I have to believe that we all can do it for Taehyung too. We just need to be patient, love him, and support him. We...we aren’t going to fix him. He, himself, is going to have to learn how to cope with his mental illness, but we can help give him a safe and supportive environment where it’s okay for him to not be okay. At least, that was what helped me.”
Yoongi wasn’t expecting to get a lapful of Jimin, but that was what happened. The alpha went around Taehyung’s entire bed just to latch onto Yoongi like a koala. All that Yoongi could smell was cedar wood and alpha as his head was buried in the younger man’s neck. He even felt short, thick fingers bunch in the material on the back of his hoodie. This was his life preserver, Jimin’s warm embrace. Yoongi was going to be okay, and he was going to help make sure that Taehyung was going to be okay as well.
“We love you, hyung,” Jimin whispered fiercely into Yoongi’s ear. “I’m glad you’re alive.”
Yoongi exhaled, placing one of his hands in Jimin’s hair.
“I am too, Jiminie...I am too.”
Chapter 21: Seokjin III
“All we see is sky for forever.
We let the world pass by for forever.
Feels like we could go on for forever this way, this way.”
Seokjin listened to Jungkook’s sweet voice singing the English lyrics. It was soothing, and it had even lulled Namjoon and Hoseok to sleep on either side of the youngest omega. The act of singing, itself, helped Jungkook to calm down as well.
It had been several hours since they’d entered the room, and Seokjin hadn’t let go of Taehyung once. At the moment, he was absentmindedly using his thumbs to rub circles on the inside of Taehyung’s forearm, just savoring the feeling of that warm, soft, and golden skin beneath his fingers. He’d almost lost it. Seokjin had almost lost the warmth, the bright eyes, the big hands, the long arms, the plush lips, the messy hair, the deep voice, the utter beauty...Seokjin had almost lost his everything. It was so terrifying to think about. He couldn’t lose Taehyung. They were supposed to get married one day, have kids, a cat, and three dogs in their comfortable house, pictures of them in matching suits on the mantle next to pictures of them smiling down at beautiful babies. They were supposed to grow old together.
But they almost hadn’t.
Seokjin startled at the raspy voice, and Jungkook stopped singing. Jimin’s eyes were wide, and Yoongi wasn’t much better.
Taehyung squeezed his eyelids together tightly with a groan. He looked uncomfortable. Seokjin wished that he had the magic ability to just erase that discomfort, to erase all the hurt that lived inside the brain of that beautiful, beautiful man.
Taehyung squinted his eyes open at Seokjin’s voice. The omega tried to smile, but he felt the tears well in his eyes once again. The hand that Yoongi had on Taehyung’s thigh tightened a little.
“Jinnie?” he asked, confused. His voice was so rough. “Don’t cry. What’s wrong?”
As soon as Taehyung told him not to cry, Seokjin burst into tears yet again, bringing the beta’s hand to his lips and kissing it softly, trying to comfort because he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. What was one supposed to do when his lover had tried to commit suicide?
Taehyung looked around the room, and Seokjin could see him gulp as he slowly woke up. The situation seemed to register in Taehyung’s head after about three seconds. Once it had, he looked conflicted and awkward, like he had no idea what to do.
“I love you, baby,” Seokjin sniffled, nuzzling into Taehyung’s hand. “I love you so fucking much.”
Taehyung frowned. “I-I love you too.”
The beta immediately started coughing once he’d said it, and so Jimin reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the cup of water that the nurse had left there at one point. He held the straw to Taehyung’s lips, and the beta drank it obediently. The coughing had woken Namjoon and Hoseok, though.
“Taehyung?” Namjoon gasped, getting up and moving to stand next to Jimin. “God...you’re awake.”
Seokjin could tell that this was going to take a while.
But that didn’t matter because Taehyung there, and he was breathing, and he still loved Seokjin even through all of his hurt. They’d make it through this, they had to.
Chapter 22: Jungkook V
Jungkook held onto Namjoon’s hand tightly. It had been a while since all of them had talked deeply like this, and it sometimes took a while before Jungkook stopped feeling anxious at the fact that everyone was so vulnerable.
“Who wants to start?” the Head Alpha prompted. Taehyung rubbed at his neck awkwardly from his place on the couch. In his defense, he had only gotten home from the hospital about an hour beforehand.
It was Yoongi who started, though. “I know this is mostly to talk about Taehyung, but I’ve been carrying something for a while, and I think I’d like to get it off of my chest.”
Everyone nodded, and Seokjin placed a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. “This isn’t just about Taehyung. This is like all of our talks. Anyone can talk about anything that’s troubling them, big or small. Right, guys?”
Again, everyone nodded, and Jungkook felt his heart speed up as Yoongi took a steadying breath. This must’ve been something really hard for him.
“First, since Taehyung wasn’t awake, I’d like to tell him what I told all of you,” Yoongi said, turning towards the beta. “I’ve attempted suicide three times, almost four. Right before we debuted, I was going to jump off the top of the company building, but I ran into Namjoon on my way, and he invited me to lunch, so I went with him instead.”
Taehyung’s eyes went terrifyingly wide at that, and Jungkook watched as Yoongi took some more stabilizing breaths.
“When I told you guys, I mentioned that I had some hard times growing up. I was kind of glossing over it. It was awful...I...My birth pack wasn’t normal.”
Jungkook sucked in a breath at his words. Yoongi never talked about his birth pack, never.
“Wasn’t normal?” The maknae asked.
Yoongi nodded. “Yeah, uh...it was a polyamorous pack.”
“They still do that?” Namjoon asked curiously. “I thought that died out almost everywhere.”
“I guess they were included in the ‘almost,’” Yoongi shrugged. “There was...originally there was one alpha and three omegas...all the omegas fought for the alpha’s, my father’s, attention, and it was really unhealthy. All of them hated each other and would gladly kill each other if that was what it took to gain the alpha’s favor...they were all underage too...but then my mother got pregnant, and my brother, Dongmin, was born...she was fourteen.”
“What the fuck?” Taehyung whispered under his breath. Jungkook silently shared that sentiment. Who had a baby at fourteen? And in an unstable polyamorous pack? It didn’t make sense.
“What the fuck, indeed,” Yoongi tried and failed to joke. “My father started paying closer attention to her afterwards, and she had more and more children and slowly became the favorite, so everyone decided that this was how they’d get attention, by having kids...and they had a lot of kids. I’m one of fifteen.”
Jungkook was beyond dumbfounded. What family had fifteen children? That was just too much, especially with only one father. Plus, having children for attention was messed up, seriously messed up. One was supposed to have children in order to expand a loving family, so that they’d get the opportunity to watch the children grow and to love them like no one else. That hadn’t happened in Yoongi’s birth pack, and the fact that Yoongi had never referred to them as his family was slowly starting to make more sense.
“My mother died giving birth to me, so I’m the youngest of my full siblings. There are four of us: Dongmin, Seongja, Joongi, and me. The rest of my siblings are my half siblings including Kisung, who you met, Hobi. He was born only a couple weeks after me...Father always preferred him...because he was an alpha. Seongja-noona says that I had it bad even when I was a baby.”
“‘Had it bad?’” Seokjin asked, a look of dread on his face that meant he already had a suspicion as to what the answer would be.
“Father was a drunk with anger issues, and our mothers hated children...I...I never told you because I didn’t want you to worry, but it was...abusive...verbally and physically...Noona says they used to knock me out before I even learned how to walk...her and Dongmin had it really bad, but they both say that I had it the worst. Father hated me. Apparently I killed my mother, and I couldn’t even make up for it by being an alpha.”
Jungkook got up from his spot and approached Yoongi, who was sitting on the floor. Yoongi was in Jungkook’s lap before long, and Jungkook held on tight, focusing on the fact that Yoongi had lived through this he was on the other side of it. Jungkook greedily inhaled Yoongi’s caramel scent so that he could remind himself that Yoongi was safe now.
“Holy shit...hyung,” Hoseok choked. “Hyung, oh god, I’m so sorry for hitting you.”
Yoongi shook his head. “I forgive you, Hoseok. I know that you’re a safe person. I just, I got scared, and when I get scared, I get defensive and then just break down. I just wanted to break down and cool off somewhere else.”
Hoseok frowned but nodded, and so Yoongi continued.
“Me and my full siblings are the oldest. Us and Kisung have always been really close...there’s a really big range of ages, though. Dongmin-hyung is the oldest, and he’s eight years older than me, and the youngest is Ahro, and she’s thirteen years younger than me...Father would hurt all of us, but I always tried to put myself in harm’s way so that my siblings wouldn’t be hurt. I’d antagonize him whenever he went after them because I had to protect the pups. Noona was always so scared, Dongmin-hyung never distracted him enough, and Joongi-hyung would always be hiding, terrified, somewhere in the house, but Father hated me, and I knew just what to say to make him angry, and it hurt, but Jongin was sick, and Chungae was gonna die, and I couldn’t just sit and watch—“
“Hyung, breathe,” Jungkook cut him off, running his hands comfortingly up and down Yoongi’s waist even though what he really wanted to do was rip Yoongi’s father’s head off. How dare he? Yoongi was such a pure and beautiful soul...what kind of monster would ruin that?
Yoongi nodded and stuffed his face into Jungkook’s neck as he focused on calming down. Jungkook understood that that must’ve taken a lot, and so he was willing to hold Yoongi for however long it took.
“Hyung,” Taehyung said softly. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Yoongi sniffled a bit. “I didn’t want to burden any of you...it’s over, and Dongmin, Joongi, and Kisung are taking care of our underage siblings. Father’s in jail as well as the other mothers of the pack because finally the police believed us, and I...I thought it didn’t really affect me anymore, but...every time an alpha starts scaring one of you or making you uncomfortable, I get...you know how I get.”
Everyone nodded along. They knew that Yoongi got defensive easily in the face of alphas, but they would have never guessed that this had been the reason. Jungkook remembered all the times that alphas had flirted with him or even when Bang Sihyuk had gotten really angry. Yoongi would always seem so brave, but then he’d start shaking, and he wouldn’t be able to breathe. Jungkook should’ve known that something was wrong.
“Is that why it was so hard to convince you to make a pack with us?”
Yoongi nodded. “Yeah, I just didn’t want a repeat of my birth pack. I...I was always really scared of alphas...God, I sound like the poor little omega girl in a romance novel right now—“
“No,” Jungkook said sternly. “Don’t do that. It’s okay to have fears. You being scared of alphas seems perfectly justifiable, and I doubt that Namjoon, Jimin-hyung, or Hobi-hyung take it personally. Right, hyungs?”
All of the alphas nodded with intense, sad looks on their faces. Yoongi’s shaking was slowing down, but Jungkook still held him tightly. Yoongi needed comfort.
“Okay...I just...even now, sometimes...I love you guys, always! But...sometimes when Jimin drinks or when Hoseok gets a bit too possessive or when I see people submit to Namjoon...I freak out a little...and it took me a long time to be sure that I trusted Namjoon enough to be my Head Alpha, that I trusted anyone enough for that...I’m sorry. I never meant to be difficult.”
“No, hyung,” Namjoon said, moving down to the patch of floor next to Jungkook and Yoongi and placing a comforting hand on his hyung’s hip. “You were making sure that you were safe. We always knew that your comfort mattered way more than how much we wanted a pack with you, always. You needed to feel safe...And I hope you know that you’ll always be safe with me, hyung.”
Yoongi nodded, looking over at Namjoon with a heartbreaking vulnerability in his eyes. Jungkook made the executive decision to place Yoongi in Namjoon’s lap instead of his own. Namjoon gratefully accepted Yoongi’s shaky form, and the omega curled into his Head Alpha in a way that Jungkook had never seen Yoongi do before. It made him look so young and small.
“It’s been a while since we’ve done this, huh, hyung?” Namjoon said softly, brushing Yoongi’s hair out of his face. Yoongi merely mewled in reply, burying his face in Namjoon’s scent gland.
Jungkook put his arm around the two of them, and it was silent for a while. The only sounds were Yoongi’s small sobs and Namjoon’s whispered reassurances.
Then Taehyung spoke up.
“I’m really sorry.”
Everyone looked towards him. Yoongi shifted so that he was still being held by Namjoon but could also see the beta on the couch. The entire pack was silent as they waited for Taehyung to continue. Jungkook was mentally preparing himself to hear about Taehyung wanting to die.
Seokjin squeezed Taehyung’s hand, and the beta seemed grateful.
“I...I had the pain meds for my foot and some ibuprofen, and...I just, I’ve been feeling so bad, and no one’s scent was calming me down like usual, not even Seokjin’s, and I really just wanted to lie down in bed and laugh with him, but I don’t think I can laugh anymore, guys. I don’t think I’m even able to be happy at this point.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Seokjin cooed sadly, pulling Taehyung in so that the beta was tucked under his boyfriend’s arm. It seemed to calm Taehyung down...Namjoon had always been soothed when Jungkook did that, surrounded him with his warmth and scent.
“It’s okay to feel like that, TaeTae,” Jimin replies encouragingly. “Just tell us. You don’t have to bottle everything up; all of us are willing to listen when you feel that way.”
Jungkook watched Taehyung just crumple. “I...all of you guys, you have things figured out. You know who you are and that you matter to people. I just—if I wasn’t V, I don’t think I’d be anything, and it terrifies me because what if me and Jinnie get caught and the band is ruined? I don’t know how to be a normal person anymore.”
“Sweetheart,” Seokjin sighed. “I told you already, the band wouldn’t be ruined if people found out about our relationship...and even if BTS suddenly didn’t exist anymore, you are a normal person. V is what people know you as, who you are professionally. Other than that, you’re Kim Taehyung, the man who laughs at my jokes almost as much as Jimin, the man that would never hesitate to remind me how loved I am, the man that convinces me that I’m talented enough when it really doesn’t feel like it, the man that starts laughing hysterically at random thoughts that just pop up out of the blue, the man who cooks with me, the man who buys me my favorite candy and gives me intimate massages when it’s my time of the month...the man I fell in love with. You show a lot of yourself through V, but Kim Taehyung is who you are first...and it breaks my heart that you’re hurting so much that you don’t know that I love you, that we love you. We love you so much, Taehyung, and we were all a mess in that waiting room. Namjoon and Jungkook were just trying to keep each other from snapping in two, Yoongi and Jimin were crying and holding onto each other as tight as they could, and me and Hobi...”
Seokjin wiped a bit at his eyes. “The moment Jungkook called, I shattered into a million pieces, and I was so fucking scared that you were actually dead. When I got there, Hobi held me and helped keep me together, but...it was like I was a shattered vase, like he was sweeping my pieces up into a dustpan. I was together, but I wasn’t whole because you...I...all I could do was play over our argument over and over again, and I was blaming myself because you looked so broken, and you’ve been so withdrawn since, and to think that I could’ve been the one to make you feel so alone—“
Taehyung cut Seokjin off with a kiss. It was rough, and one could easily see the chiding behind it. Seokjin whimpered against his boyfriend’s lips and pulled him closer. Soon, Taehyung’s hands were in Seokjin’s hair, Seokjin was gripping onto Taehyung’s shirt for dear life, and Jungkook was wondering if maybe they needed some alone time.
When they broke away, Taehyung held Seokjin’s face in his hands. The omega was crying.
“I know you didn’t mean it,” Taehyung whispered so softly that it was hard to hear. “You were stressed and insecure, and your hormones were all crazy...You’ve been telling me for years the exact opposite of what you said that one time. This isn’t your fault. I just thought...that you’d be happier if I wasn’t there to drag you down.”
Seokjin whimpered and pulled Taehyung in for another kiss. This time, everyone slowly left the room so that the two men would have some privacy. Yoongi was still latched onto Namjoon, and Jungkook guessed that the other omega would be sleeping with them tonight.
Jungkook was the last to leave the room, and the couple wasn’t kissing anymore once he got up. He used the opportunity to go up to Taehyung and muss his unruly hair. The beta looked up at him expectantly.
“I love you, hyung,” the maknae said, and he meant it.
Taehyung gave a tiny smile. “I love you too, Kookie.”
Jungkook left a kiss on Taehyung’s crown before walking out of the room.
As Jungkook fell asleep, holding Namjoon’s hand over Yoongi’s stomach, he sent a little prayer up to whoever was listening, a prayer for Taehyung.
It was the least he could do.
Chapter 23: Yoongi IV
Yoongi immediately reached out to catch Hoseok when he stumbled.
“Woah, steady, kid.”
Hoseok blinked slowly a few times, and Yoongi frowned. Something was wrong. Hoseok didn’t just stumble like that. He wasn’t clumsy at all, and he was usually more animated when he did trip. He would usually laugh it off or use it to transition into some ridiculous dance move. Never before had he looked so ill.
When Yoongi thought about it, he realized that Hoseok had been off like that for at least a few days. It was concerning.
Hoseok shrugged and started to walk again, but Yoongi grabbed his arm and led him to the bench that they had passed a few steps beforehand. Hoseok looked like he wanted to protest, but he was silent. That just worried Yoongi more.
“Hoseok, are you okay?” Yoongi asked, gulping at how dazed and exhausted his eyes looked. “Shit, you look ready to faint.”
“I-I’m—I’m...fine,” the alpha sputtered. He looked confused, and alarms were blaring in Yoongi’s head, especially as Hoseok’s mark started making itself known on his arm. This was wrong. Something was wrong.
“Seokie, I think you need to see a doctor or something...What’s going on, huh? How are you feeling?”
Hoseok shrugged and blinked some more. “Hot...g-god, it’s—it’s boil-boiling out.”
That was even more worrying. Yoongi was really cold, actually, and it was really windy. The temperature outside was colder than it had been in a while, and Yoongi was honestly terrified. Was Hoseok having a stroke or something?
Yoongi needed to call someone, for Hoseok couldn’t walk all the way to the hospital like this, and Yoongi wasn’t going to try and make him. The younger man was blinking so slowly, and he looked so confused. Yoongi was sure that his own mark was flaring up now too.
Yoongi looped an arm around Hoseok’s waist as he waited for Sejin to pick up. (Everyone was so tired at the dorms, and Yoongi wanted to make sure that Taehyung got the attention he needed at the moment. If it was serious, he’d call Namjoon right away.) Hoseok leaned his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. He still looked so confused.
“Sejin-nim?” Yoongi exhaled shakily.
“Yoongi? What’s going on? Is everything alright?”
Yoongi shook his head even if Sejin couldn’t see him. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but something...something’s wrong with Hoseok. We went for a walk together, and he tripped, and now he’s stuttering, and he’s so confused and quiet, and he says he’s hot even though it’s cold outside. He looks off, and he’s too disoriented to walk to the hospital, and I’m not strong enough to carry him—“
“Yoongi, kid, slow down,” Sejin cut in. His voice sounded calm. Yoongi needed that calm at the moment. “I’ll come in a car. Where are you?”
When Sejin hung up, Yoongi felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Hoseok was still leaning on him, though, and the alpha’s breathing seemed a bit harsh. Yoongi tightened his arm and...since when was Hoseok so skinny?
“S-smell nice,” Hoseok sighed. Yoongi bit his lip. Sejin needed to hurry. This was bad, and it didn’t seem to be getting any better.
What was happening?
Chapter 24: Namjoon VI
Namjoon felt his heart flutter as Jungkook smirked down at him. The omega looked so breathtaking. His shaggy hair was messy and falling in his face, his lips were red and wet with spit, and his intense eyes were more pupil than iris at that point.
Namjoon had seen Jungkook turned on many, many times, but it still never failed to make his heart race. Jungkook was so hot and sexy with his sweaty, honey skin and his tiny little sighs of contentment.
Namjoon and Jungkook were very private people. While each and every member of the pack had heard worrying, filthy noises from the bedroom of Taehyung and Seokjin, no one had ever heard anything from the room belonging to the other couple of BTS. It was no secret that Taehyung and Seokjin were loud and rambunctious, but Namjoon and Jungkook...they were quiet. The only sounds that the others had ever heard from that room were laughter and enthusiastic voices.
Over the years, Namjoon had studied this side of Jungkook, the one that was only for him. The omega was quiet by nature but sensitive. It was easy to accidentally hurt him if Namjoon didn’t make sure to touch carefully or in the right places. When treated in the way he craved and deserved, though, Jungkook was absolutely incredible. His eyes would look so purely passionate, and he’d look up at Namjoon with so much trust behind his gaze. His tiny little whimpers and gasps drove Namjoon crazy. Really, Namjoon was just whipped.
Jungkook had been sitting in his lap for a while, sucking out his sanity via rough, heated kisses. The thing about Jungkook, though, was that he liked kissing, but he also liked marks, and now that their relationship was public, he could wear them like jewelry around his beautiful neck and shoulders.
How could either of them resist that?
Namjoon placed the first hickey right below Jungkook’s ear. The omega gasped a little, and he shut his eyes as the marks piled up. One sucked into the junction of his shoulder and neck made him shiver in Namjoon’s lap. That only made Namjoon want to make more, just so he could watch his beautiful lover fall apart in his hold.
At one point, though, Jungkook opened his eyes and frowned.
“Why do you still have a shirt on?”
Namjoon laughed at that and pulled back a little. Jungkook’s hands teasing dipped below Namjoon’s waistband as he untucked the alpha’s shirt. Namjoon raised an eyebrow, but Jungkook just shrugged with a playful smile.
Their moment was ruined a second after the piece of clothing had been removed, for both of the men felt a sudden stab of pain, Jungkook in his ankle and Namjoon in his bicep.
Namjoon watched the arousal clear from Jungkook’s eyes, watched as they filled with worry instead. Jungkook always got so worried about the others. It was one of the many things that Namjoon admired about him.
“Hobi-hyung,” Jungkook whispered before leaving Namjoon’s lap. There was still an obvious tent to his jeans, but the omega’s last thoughts were about sex at this point, and Namjoon knew that. The alpha was also concerned. Hoseok’s mark didn’t flare up that often. It had the other day, so to have it hurt again so soon was concerning.
Jungkook tried calling Hoseok, but he heard the phone ring somewhere in the dorm, so Namjoon tried to call Yoongi, but the omega didn’t answer. Alarms were going off in Namjoon’s head, but he forced himself to be calm.
Namjoon sighed at Jungkook’s big worried eyes and pulled him back into the alpha’s lap. This time, the purpose of it was to seek out comfort. Jungkook nestled into his alpha in a practiced way.
“I’m sure it’s okay, babe,” Namjoon comforted. “It didn’t hurt too much, so maybe they just got into a deep conversation and Hoseok felt a little uncomfortable opening up. Or maybe something else. Yoongi would call if it was serious.”
Jungkook nodded but didn’t say anything, so Namjoon just rubbed his bare back and rocked him back and forth a bit. Namjoon liked this kind of intimacy. To him, any kind of intimacy—sexual or non-sexual—was something to be cherished. Jungkook was someone to be cherished.
After a while, Namjoon’s phone started to ring.
Yoongi sighed. “Hey Joon, uh, sorry I missed your call. There’s been a situation.”
Yoongi sounded frazzled and upset. That wasn’t good. Was he okay? Was Hoseok okay?
Yoongi hummed. “Hoseok’s...we were walking, and he tripped. He looked like he was about to faint, and he started stuttering and acting weirdly, so I had Sejin take us to the hospital...Uh, did you know about him taking any sort of medication?”
“Um,” Yoongi continued. He sounded so out of sorts. “The doctor said he was taking something for a hormone imbalance... Apparently he went in, and they did a blood test. He...he was reacting strongly to the medication, and they think he’s allergic, but the psychiatrist—“
“Wait, hold on. Psychiatrist?” Namjoon inquired.
“Hoseok, he’s...he’s lost a lot of weight, and he’s real skinny...they thought it was an eating disorder at first so they sent a psychiatrist...and apparently Seokie’s depressed.”
Namjoon felt his heart clench painfully. Not Hoseok too. What was happening to the pack? Why was everyone so unhappy and depressed now? Why was everything coming to the surface now? Namjoon was the Head Alpha, and it was his duty to worry about this things, but it honestly seemed like Jimin was the only one truly behaving like he had before. He was sad because of Taehyung, but he still behaved how he usually did. He wasn’t depressed. Why did he seem to be the only one not depressed?
“Hobi’s the happiest person I know...I never thought...”
Namjoon shook his head. Another member of his pack was depressed. Was he doing something wrong? Was it his fault that they didn’t feel at ease? Was it anyone’s?
Most importantly, what was he to do?
Chapter 25: Seokjin IV
“Where’s Taehyung?” Seokjin asked. Everyone else was at the table, but Taehyung’s spot beside him was empty. He hadn’t even helped Seokjin with the cooking.
Yoongi shrugged, but the dorm seemed to get darker. Seokjin was scared. He needed Taehyung. He needed to find him.
Taehyung was on the roof. He stood there in the darkness, bare feet scraping against the gravel floor. He was dressed in his TaTa pajamas, and his face was blank, devoid of any emotion or feeling. He was standing on the edge, and it looked like he was about to jump, but then his shoulders slumped, and his face twisted up into one of pain.
“He doesn’t love me,” Taehyung sobbed.
Seokjin wanted to scream at him that he was loved, that he loved him so much. He wanted to beg Taehyung to stay. He wanted to kiss the breath out of him and make love to him, whatever Taehyung needed to feel like he was loved and cherished because he was. Seokjin loved and cherished him with every beat of his heart.
But Seokjin was downstairs, sitting at the dining table, asking the other members where Taehyung was.
As Seokjin watched Yoongi shrug, Taehyung stepped off, falling.
“Baby, shh, it’s just a nightmare. You’re okay. It’s not real.”
Seokjin opened his foggy, wet eyes and choked on a sob as he saw a blurry version of Taehyung’s face. It became clearer when he blinked, and he could see those beautiful features contorted into an expression of concern. His face was puffy, his eyes were a little glazed, and his hair was messy. He was wearing a white shirt that had ridden up. His skin was still golden, his hands—how did they end up on Seokjin’s face—were still large and safe, his lips were still big and puffy, and his heart was still beating. Taehyung was alive. Taehyung was still alive.
Seokjin sobbed and immediately latched onto his boyfriend, head resting over the beta’s beating heart. He could hardly breathe.
Taehyung immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. One hand settled of Seokjin’s lower back, and another was buried in the omega’s tousled hair. Seokjin melted into the embrace.
“It’s alright, Jinnie,” Taehyung breathed in that raspy, sleep-ridden voice. “I’ve got you...TaeTae’s got you.”
Seokjin nodded as he continued to cry, and Taehyung held him through it even after the older man’s sobs had subsided, after Seokjin had stopped crying. The beta just hugged him and pressed little kisses into his hair. Seokjin inhaled the soothing, lovely scent of peanuts and felt his broken heart slowly reassemble itself. Taehyung was still there. They were both together.
Seokjin moved up after a while, settling beside his boyfriend so that they were face-to-face. Taehyung’s breath didn’t smell the best, but Seokjin didn’t care. He was there. That was all that mattered.
Taehyung put a gentle hand on the side of Seokjin’s neck and caressed the skin lightly. “Are you okay?”
Seokjin nodded. “Yeah, sorry...God, I haven’t had a nightmare that intense since the night after that one lunatic mugged Jimin at knifepoint.”
“What was it about?” Taehyung asked, open expression on his face but with a frown to damper it slightly.
Seokjin brought a hand up to grab Taehyung’s shirt gently. “You.”
Seokjin nodded with a sigh. “You weren’t at dinner, and I didn’t know where you were, but as I sat there, you were on the roof, and you thought that I didn’t love you, and...and you jumped.”
Taehyung’s face was unreadable for a moment, but then he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. Seokjin responded eagerly.
“I love you,” Taehyung breathed against his lips before kissing him again. “I love you so much...and I know you love me.”
Seokjin whined into Taehyung’s mouth. “Please, Tae, promise you’ll never try again.”
The two kept kissing and kissing, and soon the mood shifted. Taehyung licked into Seokjin’s mouth hungrily, and the omega rolled on top of his boyfriend, sitting on his hips. Everything became hotter and hotter, and soon Taehyung’s big hands were on Seokjin’s butt, and the omega was kissing up and down the beta’s throat.
“Jinnie, we shouldn’t,” Taehyung panted. “Yoongi-hyung will kill us if we wake him up again.”
“Let him be mad,” Seokjin whispered into his lover’s ear. Taehyung couldn’t bite back a groan.
“Easy for you to say. You’re his hyung, he can’t be too mean to you.”
Seokjin pulled back and sat up, grabbing one of Taehyung’s hands. “Yeah, but,” he said as he slipped the long fingers into his boxers “You make me so wet.”
Needless to say, Taehyung caved.
When the two men fell asleep again, Seokjin’s head was on Taehyung’s bare chest. He took comfort in the heartbeat below his head, and combined with Taehyung’s scent and strong hand on his naked hip, it warded off any nightmares that could’ve popped into Seokjin’s brain.
And Seokjin slept peacefully.
Chapter 26: Hoseok III
Hoseok bit his lip.
The morning had started out normally enough. Seokjin had looked stiff while he cooked with Taehyung, and the beta had rubbed his back in comfort as they moved around each other. Yoongi had looked tired when he’d first walked in, mumbling “go fuck yourself” to Taehyung as he poured himself some black coffee. Jungkook had almost passed out into his cereal bowl, and Jimin had laughed at him. Namjoon had seemed solemn, but everyone had been normal...
That was, until breakfast had ended.
Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin were crammed together on the loveseat, Jungkook was lying over Namjoon’s lap with his head in Yoongi’s lap, and Hoseok sat on Namjoon’s other side, their youngest member’s shins over the alpha’s thighs. It was silent like that for a while, so silent that Hoseok almost accidentally pushed Jungkook to the floor once Namjoon cleared his throat.
“Okay, guys. We need to get a game plan together or something...I feel like we’re falling apart. We need...if there are any secrets, we need to share them. I feel like it’s the only way to keep us together and healthy. Yoongi-hyung and Jimin have already agreed with me.”
Yoongi ran his hand through Jungkook’s hair as he spoke. “I think I want you guys to meet some of my siblings...they...they remember more about how I was...abused, and Noona says that I should be as open as possible with all of you so that you can help me and support me.”
Namjoon put an arm around the omega’s waist with a supportive smile. “I think that’s a great idea, hyung. That’s what a pack is about: love and support.”
Love and support. Had Hoseok been loving and supportive lately? No... He’d hit Yoongi. He’d hit his best friend. He’d lashed out melodramatically in public just because Yoongi’s brother had put a hand on his shoulder. He wasn’t good at comforting people like Seokjin, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook. He didn’t offer quiet support like Namjoon and Yoongi. All that he’d ever done was think about himself and dance. He’d never supported his pack. He hadn’t asked Taehyung if he’d been alright nearly enough leading up to his suicide attempt, and he hadn’t comforted Namjoon and Jungkook when their relationship had been revealed to the public. He was of no use to the pack. He was dangerous. He made their dynamic unhealthy.
“I feel like I’m getting a little better,” Taehyung said softly. “I’m taking my meds, and I met with my therapist a couple times, and...it’s going to be a lot to get used to, but I think I’m on the upswing of this episode. Plus, me and Seokjinnie have been talking—“
“And fucking,” Yoongi added abruptly.
Seokjin glared. “Min Yoongi.”
Taehyung just laughed, though. It was a real, genuine laugh. Hoseok hadn’t heard that from Taehyung in a while. Was he really getting better?
Why was everyone but Hoseok feeling better?
“That too,” Taehyung admitted. “But, we’ve talked about it a bit, and don’t get me wrong. I’m not good. My head’s in a really fucked up place right now, but I guess I have hope now. I didn’t before...and I promise to tell you guys if it gets that bad again.”
Everyone looked relieved. Hoseok was relieved too, but he also felt...empty.
Seokjin cleared his throat after that as well. “And while we’re being open, Taehyung and I are going to my parents’ house on Friday, and we’re going to tell them about our relationship.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he immediately rolled off of the three laps and tackled the couple on the loveseat. He accidentally slapped Jimin in the face, but he didn’t care too much.
“Hyung! I’m so happy for you! I’m so glad you’re confident enough now!”
Seokjin laughed a bit and pulled Jungkook into his lap. “Well, I’m in love, and if they reject us, then it doesn’t really matter, does it? I have my own family here, with all of you.”
Did he really have a family there? What kind of family included a violent, uncontrollable, and broken alpha? Not a healthy and safe one, that was for sure.
Hoseok sighed. “I think I should leave the pack.”
The mood did a complete turn at that, and everyone stared at Hoseok incredulously.
“What?” Jimin breathed out in shock.
“Hyung, what the fuck?”
Namjoon motioned for everyone to be quiet before turning towards his friend. He grabbed his hand encouragingly. “Why, Hoseok? Why do you feel like you should leave the pack?”
Hoseok frowned as he stared at their joined hands. He didn’t deserve the comfort.
“The new pills they gave me, they don’t make me foggy and weak. I’m still dangerous. I’m still unsafe, and you don’t deserve that.”
Taehyung choked. “Pills?!”
“Yeah,” Hoseok swallowed. “I went in after I...after I hit Yoongi-hyung, and they took blood and eventually said I had a hormonal imbalance. I got pills for it so that I wouldn’t be a danger—“
“Fucking hell—Hoseok, you are not dangerous.”
Yoongi got up from his seat and moved to sit on the floor in front of Hoseok. He looked angry but passionate at the same time. His hands grabbed onto Hoseok’s knees, and the alpha could smell the scent of caramel spark in the air.
“You’re not dangerous, Hobi,” Yoongi sighed. “You have a hormonal imbalance, yes, but that doesn’t make you dangerous. And those pills were doing absolutely no good at all. They were making you ill, Hobi. You were losing weight, and you looked so pained all of the time. These new pills are supposed to be better for you, but pills or no pills, you aren’t dangerous.”
“Hyung, I hit you.”
Yoongi frowned. “I picked at your insecurities and riled you up, Seok-ah. You were bound to get angry. I got scared, yeah, but that’s not your fault, and you’re not dangerous. You shouldn’t have hit me, but I still feel safe with you. I let you sleep in my room last night, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Hoseok, I haven’t been able to sleep alone in a room with an alpha since I got out...I had a room that was more like a closet to my father’s room, and there wasn’t even a real door, and my father used to move things around as I slept. Sometimes, I’d wake up to him with his hands on my bare arms or legs or stomach, and he’d scent me in my sleep every night. I never found out if he did other things because I was too scared to ask if my siblings saw anything... Ever since then, I could never sleep in the same room as an alpha without at least one omega or beta present...but I let you sleep with me last night—in my bed with me, at that—because I trust you and feel safe with you. We all do.”
Hoseok didn’t know how to feel. “I just...I don’t know...I just feel dangerous.”
Yoongi propped his head up on Hoseok’s knees and hummed, stroking the alpha’s outer thighs.
“You’re not, though, Hobi. You’re not.”
How could Hoseok ever believe that?
Chapter 27: Jungkook VI
The end of BTS’s break began with an English interview, not with the entire band but with only Jungkook and Namjoon. The former was just a tiny bit uncontrollably terrified at the idea of it.
The interview was just about the relationship. It had been scheduled as a way to help people become more accustomed to the idea of them together. Jungkook knew that this was necessary, but he didn’t like it. He’d have to talk about such a personal thing, and the editors of the show that they were going on would be able to edit it and twist it however they wanted. It felt like it was his actual relationship that would be tampered with, and that made him feel a little sick.
Jungkook turned as he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. It was Namjoon, and he looked concerned.
“Are you okay?”
Jungkook exhaled slowly. “Yeah...yeah, I am...it’s just a lot.”
Namjoon frowned and gave Jungkook a little hug. The omega slackened slightly in his alpha’s hold.
“It’ll all be okay, baby,” Namjoon said softly into Jungkook’s ear. “I know it feels wrong to share things about us, but this is the best way to go about this...if you get to feeling really uncomfortable, just reach over and squeeze my hand, and I’ll try to steer things in a different direction, okay? And remember, I can help if you get stuck on the English. Feel free to speak as much Korean as you need to.”
Jungkook nodded with a sigh, and the couple stayed liked that for a moment, but it was soon time for the interview. Jungkook took a deep breath as he went over to sit with Namjoon on the provided chairs. He could do this. Namjoon was with him. Jungkook could do anything with Namjoon by his side.
Jungkook messed with the too-long arms of his sweater. It was a little warm, and he honestly wished that he’d been able to wear something else. He felt so small in that outfit, and coupled with his anxiety over the situation, it was an uncomfortable feeling. He only liked feeling small when he also felt safe, and he wasn’t feeling safe.
Omegas tended to become very distressed and anxious when they felt unsafe, and so Jungkook unconsciously started releasing intense, terrified pheromones. Namjoon immediately but a strong hand on the back of Jungkook’s neck.
“Is he okay?” the interviewer, Anna, asked.
Namjoon swallowed. “This has been a little difficult for him, sorry.”
The woman shook her head. “No need. We’re all perfectly fine waiting a little bit.”
Namjoon nodded in thanks and turned to Jungkook again. The omega’s hands were shaking, and his breathing was labored.
“Hey, Jungkook, it’s okay, you can do this,” Namjoon whispered. “I believe in you. I love you.”
Jungkook’s chest heaved. “Too small...the sweater makes me look small, and I don’t like it...I bet, I bet they just want to make me look like a better omega, huh?”
“No, baby, no,” Namjoon said sternly. “You’re a perfect omega, okay? My perfect boy. And you’re not small. You’re huge. Just look at your arm next to mine.”
Jungkook’s breathing became normal again after only a few minutes, and he knew that he needed to do this. He needed to rip the bandage off and face his fears. He’d be okay. Namjoon was right there, and Namjoon had always been able to protect him.
Jungkook played with the ends of his sleeves as the interviewer did her intro. He was being filmed now. They could use any of this footage now. He had to keep it together.
“How was your vacation, boys?”
Namjoon smiled politely. “It was great. All members really liked it and—and enjoy it.”
“Relaxing,” Jungkook added with a nod.
Anna gave them a bright and obviously fake smile. “So what did you two do? Did you do anything special? Just lie in bed all day?”
“I think Jungkook laid in bed all day,” Namjoon laughed. “No, we went to...museums, spent our birthdays with our families, watched movies.”
Jungkook just nodded along. They weren’t in dangerous territory yet, but Jungkook was dreading when it would be time to discuss the relationship, details that had been previously been only theirs. Jungkook hated telling people personal things, especially strangers, and now he was essentially telling the whole world. It was nerve-wracking.
The tame questions ended too quickly.
“So, guys, how has it been since you went public with your relationship?”
Jungkook gulped. “It’s been...it’s been difficult, but much of our fans are...are support?”
“Supportive,” Namjoon corrected gently. “It was difficult to deal with hate, but there are a lot of nice comments too.”
“And you’ve been dating for four years?”
Namjoon nodded. “Our fifth anniversary is in two months.”
Jungkook, again, just nodded along.
“Wow, it’s pretty serious, then, huh?”
Namjoon nodded before looking at Jungkook with a fond, pretty smile. “Yeah. I really love him.”
Jungkook’s response was too high-pitched, too soft, but he still meant it. “I love you too.”
“So, have you two thought about marriage at all?”
Jungkook gulped, deciding to word his response in Korean so that he actually said what he wanted to say. “We have, and we’ve wanted to get married officially, but we could never pull off a secret wedding, and our lives are busy enough as is. We’re married in the heart, though, and that’s what really matters. I want to be with him forever.”
Jungkook felt his cheeks redden as Namjoon translated, and Anna looked a little like someone cooing over an infant. Had Jungkook said something wrong?
“Aw, that’s so cute,” Anna all but squealed.
Eventually, they moved onto a game that Jungkook was familiar with in interviews. They were answering superlative-type questions by holding up a laminated sheet of paper. One side said “RM,” and the other side said “Jungkook.” Jungkook felt more relaxed with this type of game. He wouldn’t have to explain too much.
“Okay, first question: who’s the better kisser?”
Anna laughed when they answered each other. Namjoon just gave Jungkook a smile, though, and the omega blushed in embarrassment.
“Jungkook makes you feel like you’re the only one in the world when he kisses you.”
Jungkook was alarmed by how intimate that detail was and quickly reached over to squeeze Namjoon’s hand. Namjoon rubbed his knuckles in apology.
“Next: who’s the big spoon?”
Jungkook thought that Anna shouldn’t have looked so surprised when the answer was Namjoon. He was the alpha, after all, and the stereotype was that the alpha was always the big spoon.
“Who’s the most ticklish?”
The answer was Jungkook, and the omega gave Namjoon a fake glare when he reached his hand over suspiciously. The alpha laughed at that and just grabbed Jungkook’s hand, placing their joined hands in his lap. It made Jungkook feel more comfortable.
“Who’s the biggest cuddler?”
The two fumbled with their papers a bit before Namjoon laughed. “I think it’s both..we are very private with our affection, but we both really like it. We like touching each other and...being with each other.”
There were more questions after the game, but Jungkook was hanging in there, hand still being held by Namjoon’s in the alpha’s lap. He was more relaxed with Namjoon by his side.
“Do you two have any pet names for each other?"
Jungkook swallowed as Namjoon answered. “The names I call him are in Korean, of course, but I think they translate to baby, babe, and baby boy. Sometimes there are others, but I like those.”
Jungkook blushed before answering in Korean. “I like calling him babe and baby. Sometimes I call him honey or sweetheart, but I often just call him a shortened version of his name or babe.”
“RM, what’s your favorite thing about Jungkook?”
“Just one?” Namjoon laughed, turning to look deeply into Jungkook’s eyes. “I love his mind. He’s really...creative and smart. Sometimes when we lay down in bed together, I just stay quiet and listen to him go on about so many different things. It’s really unique.”
Jungkook felt himself melting as he looked into Namjoon’s eyes. The alpha looked so earnest, and Jungkook wasn’t used to that look outside of his family home or the dorm. It made his heart race.
“Jungkook, what’s your favorite thing about RM?”
“He...he’s really,” Jungkook fumbled before switching to Korean. “He’s very caring and always makes me feel safe. He checks in on me all the time and pays close attention to how I’m feeling, and...even just his scent makes me feel like...like no one could ever hurt me.”
Namjoon smiled and brought Jungkook’s hand to his lips, kissing it. Jungkook ducked his head bashfully.
“RM, you’ve said before that, as a kid, you wanted to be a father. So do you two plan on having kids in the future?”
Namjoon’s gaze lowered to Jungkook’s stomach, and the omega reflexively brought his free hand up to cover it a little. That was when Namjoon’s eyes flickered up to Jungkook’s face. His smile was filled with fondness.
“Yeah, we do, definitely not soon but eventually.”
Chapter 28: Taehyung II
Thank you for all the kind words!! :) I’m glad people seem to like this story!
Taehyung had met Seokjin’s parents before, but he had never met them in this capacity. Him and Seokjin were nearing their sixth anniversary, and yet they had never told Seokjin’s parents about their relationship. Both of them had been too scared.
Taehyung’s family had been told only a week after they had made their relationship official, and that had been an awful idea. No one in Taehyung’s entire birth pack had approved, not even his younger siblings. Everyone had all but surrounded him and told him that he couldn’t be with an omega, that he had to be with a beta. They’d claimed that Seokjin needed more, that he needed a knot and alpha pheromones. It had messed Taehyung up so badly that he’d refused to have sex with Seokjin at first. During their first time, he’d started crying, and the crying had eventually turned into a terrifying panic attack. Taehyung’s family had made him so insecure that it had taken him years to feel like he was able to be with Seokjin sexually without disappointing him.
Taehyung still visited his family and birth pack, but Seokjin never came up. Taehyung would always be too scared to bring the relationship up, and his family probably assumed that they had broken up right away. Taehyung had always needed some extra cuddles from Seokjin after returning from visiting his birth pack. All of it just broke the beta’s heart.
Taehyung knew that a big part of the reason that they had never told Seokjin’s family about the relationship was because Seokjin was afraid of Taehyung spiraling again. The two of them had spent the first three years of their relationship fighting through Taehyung’s insecurity over being a beta, and Taehyung knew that it had broken Seokjin’s heart. Seokjin didn’t want to risk it. Taehyung understood.
Another reason that Seokjin was afraid was because he had a small birth pack. The original members had been three alphas and one omega. The Head Alpha had mated with the original omega, and the other alphas had mated with other omegas. There were only five kids in total, and Seokjin was the only child of the Head Alpha. He was also the only omega child, as all of the other children had ended up being male alphas. Because of this, Seokjin had always felt a lot of pressure to find a respectable alpha to settle down with. That fact had fed into Taehyung’s insecurity for a while as well, but it was hard to feel too insecure when there were stars in Seokjin’s eyes whenever he said Taehyung’s name. Seokjin liked to say that Taehyung had come along and changed everything he’d thought he’d known about love, instead showing him what it really looked and felt like.
Seokjin was madly in love with a beta, and he had no qualms with that, but he’d never been sure that his family wouldn’t.
And so, they hadn’t told. The past five years had been filled with secrets.
But now, Taehyung was standing in front of the door to Seokjin’s childhood home, bearing alcohol and various other items as gifts for Seokjin’s birth pack. He wanted to seem as worthy as possible.
Seokjin gently clutched at Taehyung’s forearm, and the beta looked over. Seokjin looked determined, but Taehyung could see a little fear lurking behind the drive.
“I love you,” Seokjin said softly. “You’re enough, and I wouldn’t change anything about our relationship. You’re my soulmate. Nothing that my birth pack has to say can change any of that, okay?”
Taehyung gulped. “Okay...I love you too.”
And so Seokjin knocked on the door.
Seokjin’s mother, also a male omega, was the one to answer the door. His name was Jongin, and he had the same sweet, sweet eyes as his son. His hair was long and pulled back in a ponytail, and he was handsome. Taehyung had forgotten just how attractive Seokjin’s family was. It made him feel self-conscious. Was he handsome enough to be with Seokjin?
The two of them had called ahead to tell Seokjin’s pack that they were coming and had news, but they hadn’t told them what the news was, and Taehyung was already terrified, but he needed to do this. He needed to put on a brave face.
“Seokjin-ah, my baby!” Jongin cooed, wrapping Seokjin in a loving, maternal hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much.”
Seokjin smiled softly at his mother. “I’ve missed you too, Mom.”
Then, Jongin turned towards Taehyung. The beta resisted the urge to wince.
“Taehyung, you look well. Have you been eating?”
Taehyung gave a smile. It was a wide one because he was Kim Taehyung, and Kim Taehyung was loud and giddy. Kim Taehyung never let it show when he was anxious.
“Yes, I have. Your son, for one, enjoys borderline force-feeding me until I burst.”
Seokjin took the opportunity to reach over and pinch Taehyung’s cheek. “But you look so cute when you have chubby cheeks!”
Taehyung rolled his eyes and pulled away. He always had to pull away when they weren’t at home. Sometimes, he wished he could just hold onto Seokjin forever, reach out whenever he needed it. He couldn’t, though. They were idols. They couldn’t risk it, especially not when the internet was still going crazy over the announcement of Jungkook’s and Namjoon’s relationship.
Eventually, Taehyung found himself on a loveseat next to Seokjin. They weren’t touching. Across from them, on the couch, were Seokjin’s pack aunt and uncle, Soora and Hanuel, and Seokjin’s twin cousins, Minwoo and Minkyu. Seokjin’s mother was sitting on his wife’s lap, the latter looking towards Taehyung curiously. (Taehyung had always been terrified of Seokjin’s father, Jina. She was the Head Alpha of the pack and fierce in every possible way.) Seokjin’s other uncles, Ohseong and Byunghyun, sat on the other loveseat, and their sons sat on the floor. The sons, Chulwoo and Yejun, were the youngest. Chulwoo had only just graduated high school, and Yejun had only just entered high school. Still, they scared Taehyung because they were Seokjin’s family. Taehyung still had to impress them. He had to show everyone that he was worthy of Seokjin.
“So, you two had news for us?” Jina hummed, gently stroking her husband’s hip.
Taehyung gulped and looked at Seokjin pleadingly. There was no way that Taehyung could say it, not when he was so afraid.
“Well,” Seokjin began, reaching for Taehyung’s hand. He held it, but he didn’t intertwine their fingers. “For the past five years I haven’t been completely honest with all of you. I...There’s no way to approach this gently, but Taehyung and I are together...boyfriends. We’ve been boyfriends for five years. We were hesitant about telling you, but...I really love him. I...he’s the one.”
No one said a word. Taehyung looked at his lap and didn’t look up. He was probably going to break Seokjin’s hand with how hard he was squeezing.
Seokjin cleared his throat a little. “I’m sorry for not telling you all. We were—“
“Seokjin,” Jina said haltingly. “Please stop talking.”
Seokjin did as told, squeezing Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung was terrified, though. He was about to cry; he couldn’t go through that again. They’d made a mistake. He wasn’t ready to be torn apart again.
Jina gently picked up her husband and placed him on the arm of the chair so that she could stand. Taehyung’s grip was definitely hurting Seokjin by now, but it was all he could do to keep himself from crying like a baby.
This was why Seokjin deserved an alpha, deserved someone better than Taehyung. He deserved someone with a handle on his emotions. He didn’t deserve some suicidal lunatic that started bawling whenever things went just a little wrong. He deserved someone like him, someone gentle and centered, someone who knew how to handle emotions.
“Taehyung, come here.”
Taehyung gulped and let go of Seokjin’s hand. When he stood, he looked up to see Jina’s stoic, intimidating face. The tears were sitting right on his waterline, and he could barely see through them.
Just as he thought he was going to be slapped, something unexpected happened.
He was pulled into a hug.
Taehyung immediately tensed even further, even as Jina laughed such a Seokjin-like laugh in his ear. When she pulled back, he realized that he’d been shaking this whole time. His body felt like an electric fence. He was so scared, and now he was confused too. Panic was stinging at his insides, and he really didn’t know what to do.
“Welcome to the family, Taehyung!” Jina exclaimed cheerfully.
Suddenly, Jongin was standing as well, and he hugged Taehyung tightly. Taehyung was going to break. He could feel it. He didn’t know what was going on.
“You’re not mad?” Seokjin asked in bewilderment.
Jina shook her head. “Why would we be mad? Sure, I’m a little offended that you felt like you couldn’t tell us that you’ve been in a committed relationship for the better half of a decade, but I’m happy for you. You’ve found your person. As your father, I’m so happy that you get to feel something so special.”
Taehyung flinched when he felt a hand touch his, but it ended up just being Seokjin. The omega was standing now, and he had that gentle, concerned look on his face.
“Tae? Are you alright?”
At that, Taehyung finally snapped, shaking his head as the first hysterical sob left his lips.
He was having a panic attack.
Chapter 29: Seokjin V
Seokjin let out a breath and turned back towards his family.
“I’m sorry that you had to see that,” he said. “I know that it can be a bit unsettling to watch.”
Ohseong shook his head. “I don’t understand. We were welcoming him. Why did he freak out?”
Seokjin frowned, looking back in the direction of the door. Taehyung had escaped to the bathroom to compose himself properly, and Seokjin just wanted to hold him. It hurt his heart to see Taehyung panic like that.
“He was scared. Before we even left, he was terrified. We...when we’d just gotten together, we’d told his family, and it...it wasn’t good.”
Seokjin shook his head. He hated remembering that point. He hated remembering how Taehyung would shut himself in his bedroom, how he would hesitate to grab Seokjin’s hand, how intensely he had panicked the first time that they had made love. Taehyung was so much better now, and Seokjin knew that he genuinely loved being a beta. He just didn’t know if it would take much for Taehyung to return to how he had been before.
“His entire birth pack said that he wasn’t good enough for me because he wasn’t an alpha, and it messed him up for years. He...That was part of the reason why we didn’t tell you all. I can’t watch him hate himself so much again. It was so scary.”
Jongin wrapped his arm around his son’s broad shoulders and kissed his head. “We’d never do anything like that, Seokjin. God, the poor boy...Who says those kinds of things, let alone to their own?”
Seokjin sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Jina said as she moved to wrap her arm around Seokjin from the other side. “You were scared. You were protecting the man you love. I understand that. I probably would’ve done something similar if it had been your mother and I.”
“I just hate it when I can’t do anything to make him feel better. He...he hasn’t been doing too well lately, and I thought that I’d accidentally broken him.”
“Is he still insecure about being a beta? Is that why he’s been struggling lately?”
Seokjin looked around and bit his lip at the sight of his prying cousins before lowering his voice to a level that only his parents could hear.
“He’s always had really bad depression and anxiety. A few weeks ago...he tried to kill himself.”
Jina and Jongin shared a serious look, but before they could say anything, the bathroom door opened, and Taehyung came out, wiping his eyes. Seokjin immediately shrugged off his parents’ arms and rushed towards his boyfriend. Taehyung gave Seokjin a weak smile and accepted a kiss to his forehead.
“Sorry,” Taehyung chuckled nervously. “Can we just forget that that ever happened?”
Jina gave him an intense glance but nodded. “Of course...I believe we’d all like to hear how you two got together.”
Eventually, everyone was sitting again, but this time, Taehyung and Seokjin had their fingers intertwined and their sides pressed together. Seokjin pressed a lingering kiss to Taehyung’s cheekbone as the beta snuggled closer, seeking the comfort of his omega’s scent and touch.
“Taehyung and I started having late night talks before we even debuted. He missed his family a lot, and I had some insecurities about my singing and dancing. We helped build each other up, but then he turned eighteen, and suddenly, I just kept being reminded that he was an adult, that he had big hands and a deep, masculine voice. I became attracted to him, and I didn’t know it then, but he was head-over-heels too. One night, a little after his birthday and New Years, we had a really deep heart-to-heart, and then he kissed me.”
Seokjin mused that his family didn’t need to know how scared Taehyung had gotten after they’d kissed, how he’d thought that he’d ruined their relationship beyond repair. That would only embarrass Taehyung further.
“Park Yejun!” Byunghyun scolded. “Your cousin is in love. Be happy for him.”
Chulwoo laughed at his younger brother but then leaned forward, eyes sparking with fondness. He’d always been a romantic. “Tell us more...some cute stuff.”
Seokjin smiled and chanced a look down at his beautiful beta.
“Well, Tae and I make meals for the other members together, and sometimes, when we have time, we try to make some complex dessert or something like that. He always gets flour in his hair somehow.”
Taehyung pouted. “You’re the one that flicks it at me.”
“Sorry, babe,” Seokjin laughed. “You just always look so cute.”
Taehyung smiled a bit, and Seokjin smiled right back. Seokjin loved Taehyung’s smile. It was just so beautiful and adorable. Taehyung was so ethereal that it left Seokjin breathless sometimes. How had he landed such a jaw-dropping man? How was it that he was able to confidently call Taehyung his own?
After a little more gushing, Taehyung had passed out his gifts for everyone. They were well-received, and Seokjin could tell that it made Taehyung just a little proud of himself.
Once everyone had settled again, the television was turned on to a random drama, and upon seeing how the other couples in the room had situated themselves, Seokjin initiated a bit of snuggling. He had Taehyung in between his legs as they lied back-to-chest on the loveseat. Seokjin was messing with Taehyung’s hair, and in turn, Taehyung was pumping out pleased pheromones. His scent was so calming that Seokjin felt like he was going to fall asleep. As a beta with a overactive pheromone production rate, Taehyung’s scent sometimes felt almost felt like a tranquilizer pill. Seokjin’s worries faded away at the scent of his love’s happiness.
All he wanted was for Taehyung to be happy.
Chapter 30: Namjoon VII
As you may have noticed, I updated the tags 😉😉
Concerts had always been a bit stressful for Namjoon, but he couldn’t deny the rush that it gave him as well. All of these people came together to watch him and his pack perform. It was a bit overwhelming. These people spent so much money just to see them. Namjoon felt a bit undeserving of their devotion.
Namjoon often felt undeserving. He didn’t have any severe self-confidence issues, not like Jungkook. Instead he merely felt ordinary. He was too ordinary to deserve this life, to deserve millions of people screaming his name, to deserve to be Head Alpha in a pack of his amazing and wondrous friends, to deserve to be the boyfriend of a beautiful man who loved him with his entire heart...Namjoon felt too lucky, and sometimes he feared that it would fade, that the universe would decide to take his amazing life away from him. He’d have nightmares about Jungkook dying or breaking up with him, or even the pack splitting up. It made his heart ache.
Namjoon snapped out of his thoughts and put a smile on his face. He had to get his mind out of that dark place. He was okay. He still had his amazing life at the moment, and so he’d cherish it for as long as he could.
Eventually, Namjoon’s spirits lifted until he was standing on the edge of the stage with a big smile on his face. It was one of those moments where everything felt right. Namjoon loved those moments, and he so he started dancing in place. All that he did was swing his hips to the beat, and the crowd went wild. He laughed at their cheering.
Familiar arms wrapped around Namjoon’s waist, and soon he had a dancing partner: Jungkook. They moved their hips together, and it was nice. Namjoon liked that he could do this now. He didn’t have to worry about fans speculating, because now the world knew about their relationship. It was a relief.
The audience went crazy at the display of affection, but Jungkook just rested his cheek on Namjoon’s shoulder. Namjoon could see on the screens that Jungkook was smiling brightly, as brightly as the lights beating down on them, if not brighter. Jungkook looked so beautiful, so radiant. He was like an angel or maybe the sun. Whatever he was, it was breathtaking.
Namjoon stopped moving his hips and turned around, grabbing Jungkook by the elbows. The omega’s in-ear monitors were still in, but Namjoon gently pulled one out so that he could lean towards him.
“You’re so beautiful,” the alpha said earnestly. He basked in the shiver that he could feel coursing through the beautiful boy’s body.
The crowd got even louder as the two men parted with a little Eskimo kiss, and Namjoon could spot Yoongi smiling fondly. Taehyung and Hoseok were too distracted with plotting to pour water on everyone to pay any mind, but Jimin and Seokjin smirked, a telltale sign that there would be some teasing after the concert was over. Namjoon couldn’t care less. He was just so happy.
Was everything actually going to be okay?
Chapter 31: Jimin IV
Jimin frowned as he rubbed Jungkook’s back. The omega just heaved again, though, clutching the toilet bowl for dear life.
“Oh, poor Kookie. Just let it out. That’s it.”
Jungkook could hardly breathe, and he was sending out distress signals through the pack bond. Jimin knew that Jungkook hated throwing up, but all that he could do was rub his back and coo softly in his ear.
Suddenly, Namjoon was at the bathroom door. He looked almost frantic. Jimin assumed that it was appropriate, for Jungkook was Namjoon’s omega. Jungkook’s distress affected Namjoon the most. Jimin guessed that that was what it felt like to be in love. It was, at least, the dynamic that he had always seen between his friends in their respective relationships. One time, Seokjin had sprained his ankle, and Taehyung had sprinted all the way from the dorm in order to make sure that he was alright. The beta had looked crazy with worry.
Love was a funny thing.
“What happened?” Namjoon asked, kneeling down on Jungkook’s other side.
“Baby isn’t feeling good,” Jimin cooed, lightly scratching Jungkook’s shoulder blades. “He said his stomach was hurting earlier, and he just started throwing up. Probably the stomach flu.”
Namjoon frowned. He put a hand in Jungkook’s hair, petting him gently. The omega whined.
“Shh, I’ve got you, baby boy. I know you feel gross right now, but it’s going to be okay.”
Jungkook whimpered a bit, and Namjoon held him close. Suddenly, Jimin felt like he was intruding. Maybe leaving the couple alone would be a good idea.
“I’ll go tell Jin-hyung that Kook could use some flu-stuff.”
Namjoon didn’t reply, so Jimin just bit his lip. He left without another word.
He was just overreacting. He shouldn’t feel offended. Namjoon and Jungkook were a couple. They were in love, and Jimin didn’t know what that felt like, but he knew that it was something to be respected. Jimin would never selfishly demand to be paid attention, not when Jungkook and Namjoon were each other’s first priority. He needed to just distract himself from his childish jealousy, and helping Jungkook feel better could maybe do that.
When Jimin finally found Seokjin, the omega was in a rather compromising position, specifically beneath Taehyung. Jimin made the executive decision not to break up the make-out session. He would just go to the store, himself, to get what Jungkook needed. Maybe Yoongi or Hoseok would want to accompany him. They had always been good at keeping Jimin from getting lonely.
Yoongi’s door was ajar, and so Jimin stepped inside. Hoseok and Yoongi were both on the bed. Hoseok was propped up with pillows only slightly, and Yoongi was sleeping. The omega was curled into a ball, gripping onto Hoseok’s waist and using the alpha’s chest as a pillow. A pleasant thrumming was coming from Yoongi’s mark, and Hoseok was looking down at his hyung with such a raw passion in his eyes. He trailed his hand up and down Yoongi’s side gently, as if the man was a little porcelain doll. The scene was incredibly adorable. In fact, Jimin would’ve taken a picture for blackmail material if he had been in a better mood, but something about the intensity of the moment made Jimin a bit uncomfortable, and so he just left.
He’d just go to the store himself.
It was fine.
Chapter 32: Hoseok IV
Yoongi made a little whimpering sound as he woke up, and Hoseok swore he felt his heart stop. Yoongi was just so adorable.
Hoseok had always admired Yoongi, had always felt drawn towards him. Yoongi was just so unique and alluring. He was fiery and stubborn, but he was also fragile. He was quiet, but he had a lot to say. Some people thought that he was cold-hearted, but he was as sweet as the caramel of his scent. He was like a Lindor Truffle. He had a hard, brittle shell around him, but inside, he was a pool of almost alarming sweetness. He was so, so precious.
Hoseok had always liked Yoongi a bit too much. They were best friends, but the instinctive pull that Hoseok felt—the need to protect him no matter the cost—was hardly commonplace in a platonic relationship. Yoongi was like a magnet, and Hoseok was but a metal filing, powerless to the feisty omega’s pull.
But Hoseok would never try to get too close. He knew that Yoongi usually needed a different kind of person around him, someone stable and safe. Hoseok wasn’t either of those. He was annoying...dangerous.
“What time is it?” Yoongi slurred into Hoseok’s shirt. The alpha’s heart started beating faster.
“Almost four. You’ve been asleep for a couple hours.”
Yoongi just hummed, making no move to get up. In fact, he snuggled closer. Hoseok couldn’t resist bringing a finger up to Yoongi’s forehead, gently pushing a few strands of hair out of the omega’s face. Yoongi didn’t pull away.
“Are you comfy?” Hoseok asked, a slight hint of mirth coloring his voice.
Yoongi nodded slowly. “Feels nice. You smell good...I feel safe.”
Hoseok felt tears burning at his eyes. How could Yoongi feel safe when Hoseok had hurt him? How could he just nap there like nothing was a threat? Hoseok was a threat. He had hurt Yoongi before, and he would only do it again.
But Hoseok, no matter how worried he was, couldn’t move, not when Yoongi was so beautiful and pliant, not when his walls fell away and showcased the soft, warm boy beneath all of the grumpiness. Hoseok knew that he wasn’t good for Yoongi, but he still allowed himself to be selfish.
Hoseok still allowed himself to hold Yoongi, even though he knew he’d never deserve it.
Chapter 33: Jungkook VII
Jungkook whimpered as his stomach twisted painfully. It had been three days, and he still felt awful. He’d be fine, and then suddenly, he’d be clutching at the toilet seat and emptying everything from his stomach into the bowl. Not only that, but his back, neck, and hips were cramping up. He felt dreadful.
Namjoon pushed Jungkook’s shirt up smoothed a hand over his bare stomach. Jungkook knew that he was trying to help, but it still just hurt.
“What can I do, baby boy?”
Jungkook pouted and squirmed a little. “Could you massage my hips and thighs a little?”
Namjoon immediately sat up, pulling the omega’s pants off and throwing them on the floor. Jungkook sighed as he felt hands on his flushed skin. Namjoon’s hands had become such familiar presences on his body over the the years that Jungkook couldn’t help but sag into the touch.
“Do you think that we’ve officially become an old married couple?”
Jungkook furrowed his brow. “I’m twenty-three.”
“I meant in spirit,” Namjoon chuckled softly.
“Why do you say that?”
Namjoon’s hands delicately moved up Jungkook’s inner thighs. His fingers were cool, and Jungkook sighed. It felt nice.
“I say that because, when we first started being intimate, you’d light up like a live wire whenever I touched your thighs like this...now, you’re not even aroused.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Don’t take that as an insult. The last thing I’m in the mood for right now is sex. My stomach’s so tight that I’d probably puke on you as soon as you went inside me.”
Namjoon moved a hand up to knead his boyfriend’s thigh. “Now, that’s a sexy image.”
“You’ve seen a lot worse from me.”
Namjoon hummed. “Indeed, I have. I have seen you collapsed on the ground, barely breathing. Vomit? I’d take that over the fear that I felt any day.”
Jungkook blinked slowly at Namjoon, smiling before a sudden wave of nausea crashed over him.
“Oh God,” Jungkook moaned, rolling over and vomiting into the bucket at his bedside. Namjoon surged forward to hold him.
“God, you’re puking like my mom when she was pregnant with my sister.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. Pregnancy sounded so obscure to him. He had talked about it with Namjoon, and they’d agreed that they wanted a couple kids but far in the future, when they weren’t idols anymore. For now, he’d suffer through periods with minimal complaint.
Now that Jungkook thought about it, he hadn’t had his period in a while. He’d been so distracted that he hadn’t noticed, but it had been at least three months. But that couldn’t be right. He was usually so regular because of the birth control. He’d never gone that long without having his period.
Suddenly, the sickness Jungkook felt was because of a different reason.
Chapter 34: Yoongi V
Yoongi mused that there was something very wrong with him. That was the only plausible reason as to why he couldn’t stop writing stupid, smitten love songs. It was infuriating. Yoongi wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t supposed to feel all warm and tingly. That was for people like Jungkook, Seokjin, Taehyung, and Namjoon, not for people like him. Yoongi’s heart didn’t flutter like an omega’s did in romance novels. He was supposed to be calm and collected.
Yoongi crumpled his paper and chucked it into the trash, yanking his headphones off.
When Yoongi turned, he saw a disheveled looking Jungkook in the doorway. His eyes were red and puffy, and he was shaking. Alarms immediately started blaring in the rapper’s head. Something was wrong with his precious pack mate, and Yoongi needed to fix it. Yoongi needed to protect him.
“Jungkook?” Yoongi asked softly. “What’s wrong?”
Before Yoongi could even blink, Jungkook’s face was crumpling, and he was doubling over as if he was in pain.
“Hyung...hyung, I’m scared,” he sobbed as Yoongi surged forward to catch him. Both men sunk to the ground, but Yoongi held Jungkook close to him.
Yoongi shushed the teary man. “Don’t be scared, kid. Hyung will protect you. I’ll always protect you.”
“I messed up. I messed up, hyung. W-What am I gonna tell Namjoon?!”
“Shh,” Yoongi hissed. “You’re okay. You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Eventually, Jungkook calmed down from his hysteria until he was merely sniffling into Yoongi’s shoulder. The elder omega ran his hands soothingly through the maknae’s hair. Yoongi was calm on the outside, but he was frantic beneath the surface. Jungkook didn’t cry like that for nothing. Something was really wrong.
“Could you tell me what that was about?” Yoongi whispered in Jungkook’s ear.
Jungkook let out an uneven breath. “I was...I don’t know what to do—“
“Stop...breathe, kid. Just tell me what happened.”
Jungkook rubbed at his face, and Yoongi tried as hard as he could to comfort the distressed boy. It didn’t seem to be working.
“You know how I’ve been sick?”
Yoongi rubbed the boy’s back. “Yes, I do.”
Jungkook pulled his sleeves over his hands.
“Joon, he...he said that I was throwing up like his mom had when she was pregnant with him, and...and I...I haven’t had my period in three months, hyung.”
Yoongi’s jaw dropped. “Jungkook, are you saying...? Are you pregnant?”
Jungkook let out a sob. “I don’t know! I can’t, I can’t buy a test without people finding out. What if—what if a fan saw?”
“I thought you and Namjoon were being safe.”
“We were! We always have been!” Jungkook cried. “I’m on birth control, but there’s still a little chance with that, and I’m terrified, hyung! I’m so scared! I can’t be a mom, not yet!”
“Okay, shh,” Yoongi hushed, pulling the boy closer. “I’m sorry. It’s okay, I’ve got you. We’ll figure this out. I know we will. I can help you...We can get my sister to buy some home pregnancy tests, and if they’re positive, I’ll be there every step of the way. I’ll always be there for you, kid, no matter what.”
Jungkook nodded, and Yoongi grabbed his hand tightly and kissed his head.
Yoongi would do anything for Jungkook. He’d protect him no matter what.
Chapter 35: Namjoon VIII
Namjoon smiled as he went through the lyrics. Every lyric that he had ever written was tied to a respective feeling/memory, and these memories were especially dear to him.
Because these were songs about Jungkook.
Namjoon was making another mixtape, and this one was all about Jungkook, all about how the omega made Namjoon feel.
There was a knock on the door, and soon Jimin was entering the studio. Namjoon didn’t pay much attention, for Jimin did that a lot. He was always coming in to sit or take a nap on the couch. When they weren’t having live shows, Jimin usually wouldn’t say anything. He’d usually just quietly exist.
He didn’t this time.
Namjoon hummed. “Yeah, what is it?”
“...uh...well, the others are all preoccupied. I was wondering if you’d want to go out to lunch with me.”
Namjoon chuckled to himself a little. “Well, Jimin, I’m kind of preoccupied, myself.”
“Ah...right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
Jimin left at that, and something about his tone bothered Namjoon, but the rapper didn’t waste too much time thinking about it. He was too focused on fixing the melody for the title song of the mixtape. The song was a bit racier than the others, but he loved it because it had been a way for him to capture just how Jungkook made him feel in a physical sense, just how hard it was for Namjoon to keep his hands off of that drop-dead gorgeous omega.
Namjoon remembered the first time that him and Jungkook had made love. It had been a scheduled affair because their lives had always been too busy for spontaneity. Jungkook had always been too anxious for spontaneity.
The other members had left the dorm to give them privacy, and Namjoon and Jungkook had just started out talking. They’d talked until Jungkook was calm enough to get his clothes off without panicking. It hadn’t been like a fantasy. It had been a struggle. Jungkook had been so nervous, and his body had been so sensitive on top of that. It had hurt him at first, but then, soon enough, Namjoon had seen those beautiful bedroom eyes for the first time, the way he looked up hazily, like everything was right in the world as long as they were connected. Then...then it was perfect.
Namjoon had nearly ascended to heaven on that day, but the best part had been afterwards. For the first time, Jungkook had allowed himself to be vulnerable. He’d talked about how he’d been bullied throughout his life and about his insecurities regarding self-worth, but he’d also talked about his hopes and dreams for the future. That day, Namjoon had seen this beautiful boy with all of his defenses down. He’d learned that Jungkook was even more breathtaking than he had previously thought.
It was Namjoon’s pleasure to call that man his own, and he would never take such a privilege for granted.
He would never forget just how special Jeon Jungkook was.
Chapter 36: Jimin V
The dorm was too quiet, or rather, the sound was dispersed unusually. They were scattered. Namjoon was having a deep conversation with Taehyung in the dining room, Seokjin and Hoseok were playing video games together in the former’s bedroom, and Jungkook and Yoongi had locked themselves in Yoongi’s room early that morning.
Something about how Jungkook and Yoongi had carried themselves had seemed off to Jimin. They were hiding something, and it was big.
But, of course, Jimin wasn’t important enough to be trusted with a secret like that.
Jimin sometimes wondered what his role was in BTS. Not in the band, but in the pack. Namjoon and Seokjin were the providers, Yoongi and Hoseok were the protectors, and Taehyung and Jungkook were the lovable sweethearts that would always listen to any of their pack mates’ woes. Jimin was just there. He didn’t have a specific role. He was just an alpha with no real place to be and no real place to go.
Jimin missed how they had all been at the beginning of the pack. They had all done things together. No one had been in a relationship back then, and everyone had spent time together. Jimin had spent his nights staying up with the rest of the maknae line, wistfully imagining what their lives would be like if they made it big. He had spent days off with Hoseok and Seokjin, shopping and watching bad dramas on television. Back then, he had always been able to go to Yoongi or Namjoon for some reassurance or even just for a cuddle. Back then, they had been a unit, all seven of them.
But now, it was like the pack had turned into a mere three pairs and a straggler.
Jimin had never been one to impose upon others. He’d always been one to wait patiently at the sidelines until he had been given permission to do something. He had never felt like a true alpha, like a big man that asserted himself and demanded respect. Jimin had always been small and delicate. Taehyung had once described him as being like a jasmine flower. He was dainty and sweet, so unlike what he had always been told that an alpha should be.
Jimin had always been okay with that, but there was something at this moment, something deep within him, that wanted to vomit at that thought.
Maybe if he had been more like an alpha, they would have spent more time with him. Maybe they wouldn’t have pushed Jimin away.
Maybe Jimin would’ve still felt loved.
Chapter 37: Seokjin VI
Seokjin’s and Taehyung’s relationship dynamic had always been very flexible. Many would assume that it would be much like the relationship between Namjoon and Jungkook, where the omega was constantly being held and being protected. It wasn’t like that, though, because Seokjin and Taehyung weren’t the same people that Jungkook and Namjoon were.
At the beginning, some of the other members had found it strange that Taehyung would sit himself in Seokjin’s lap or snuggle up beneath his arm. Seokjin had threatened to maim them if they attempted to bring it up to Taehyung, but they had still been a little confused because it was assumed that omegas never did the holding nor the protecting.
Taehyung and Seokjin had both always loved to hold and also to be held. Neither one of them had a preference. It was easy. They showed affection based on their moods. If Taehyung was feeling more like he wanted to be held, he’d be the little spoon; Seokjin would spend time peppering tiny kisses to his cute little cheeks. If Seokjin felt that way, he’d be treated much the same, with Taehyung whispering soft little sentences in his ear and holding the omega by the waist. Sometimes they both felt like that, and they’d just lie in bed, sharing sweet kisses and tickling each other. Sometimes, too, they’d find themselves both feeling possessive and dominant. That would often end up with a rough make out session and usually sex, if there was time for that. In a way, all of this made their relationship just that more exciting.
At the moment, Taehyung was in a headspace that Seokjin loved. Taehyung was all sweet giggles and shy blushes. He squirmed happily as Seokjin kissed along his throat, and he played with the omega’s hair as he did so.
Eventually, Seokjin moved upwards so that he was slightly looming over Taehyung, hands on either side of the sweet beta’s face.
“Hi,” Taehyung giggled.
“Hey, sweetie,” Seokjin hummed.
And then they were kissing, and Taehyung let himself moan into Seokjin’s mouth. Taehyung had always been one to moan at the slightest pleasant feeling. He was always moaning around mouthfuls of food, moaning as he was massaged by any of the members, moaning as Seokjin gave him some special treatment. It was endearing, especially now, when Taehyung was acting like a snuggly little ball of fluff.
When Seokjin pulled away, he ran his fingers over Taehyung’s cheek. The beta sagged into the soft touches.
“I love you,” Seokjin whispered.
“Love you too, Jinnie,” Taehyung hummed in return.
Seokjin moved his hand to start massaging Taehyung’s head a little. “How are you feeling?”
“Nice,” Taehyung answered. “You’re nice.”
Seokjin chuckled to himself. “I’m glad. You’re nice too.”
Taehyung beamed a bright smile up at his boyfriend, and Seokjin just about melted.
He was whipped.
Chapter 38: Hoseok V
Of course Hoseok had knocked the soap into the trash can. These days, he just kept dropping everything and going through life sluggishly. It was like he was moving through water, and he hated it.
With a sigh, the alpha bent over to look through the garbage. He had to move a couple things around, but he managed to get the soap out without too much difficulty.
But then he saw something. It was a box that he was unfamiliar with.
It was a box for a home pregnancy test.
Hoseok’s blood ran cold. He knew that Yoongi wasn’t sexually active, so that meant that either Seokjin or Jungkook thought they were pregnant. Was that the cause of Jungkook’s illness? Did Namjoon know? Could it actually be Seokjin’s? Did Taehyung know?
Hoseok nearly flew to Namjoon’s and Jungkook’s room. Even if it was Seokjin’s and not Jungkook’s, Namjoon was their Head Alpha. He should know.
Jungkook had went to lunch with Yoongi, so Namjoon was the only one in the room when Hoseok pushed the door open. The Head Alpha was sitting on his bed, typing on his laptop.
“Namjoon,” Hoseok breathed.
Namjoon looked up, obviously worried from the expression on Hoseok’s face. Hoseok was freaking out. If Jungkook or Seokjin was pregnant, it would be a huge scandal.
“Hobi, what’s up? Are you okay?”
Hoseok immediately sat down next to the younger alpha and thrust the box into his hands. “This was in the garbage in the bathroom.”
Hoseok could see every muscle in Namjoon’s body tense as he read the label on the box. His mark started lightly throbbing.
Namjoon swallowed. “Jungkook has been throwing up a lot lately.”
All that Hoseok could do was agree, but then Namjoon raised his eyes to look into Hoseok’s. Hoseok had only ever seen Namjoon look that clueless when Taehyung had attempted suicide.
“Hobi, am I going to be a dad?”
Hoseok rushed to calm Namjoon. Him freaking out would not be good. “Hey, we don’t know that. Maybe Jungkook just thought he was but he wasn’t. It could even actually be Seokjin’s.”
“We can’t...This is bad. If someone’s pregnant, especially if it’s Seokjin...God, we’ll never not be in the midst of a scandal.”
“Namjoon, hey, calm down,” Hoseok shushed, squeezing Namjoon’s shoulder. “Let’s take this one step at a time. First, let’s figure out whose this is.”
Namjoon nodded, and he moved to get up, but Hoseok made the executive decision to give Namjoon a hug before he could leave. The leader sighed and hugged Hoseok back. Hoseok dipped his face into Namjoon’s neck, and the latter sighed as the other alpha proceeded to scent him intimately. Hoseok was glad to feel some of the tension leaving Namjoon’s body.
They’d figure this out. All of them would because, together, the seven of them could do anything.
Chapter 39: Yoongi VI
Yoongi watched everyone with a critical eye. Jungkook was still a bit distressed, and so he focused mostly on him, but the others looked like they were on edge. Jimin looked small—Yoongi fleetingly wondered if the alpha had lost some weight recently because he looked so unusually tiny as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest—Seokjin and Taehyung were holding hands and nervously looking towards Namjoon, and Hoseok was so fidgety.
What really concerned Yoongi, though, was Namjoon. He was stuttering and tripping, and it seemed like he was scared. When Jungkook had greeted him with a hug earlier, the alpha had stiffened so much. Yoongi could tell that it had hurt Jungkook’s feelings, but what was more concerning was the fact that Namjoon was like that in the first place. It was so unlike him.
Another unusual thing was that Hoseok seemed to be the one leading the conversation.
“When I was in the bathroom earlier, I came across this.”
Yoongi’s eyes went wide as Hoseok pulled out the box. He’d forgotten to take the garbage out after he’d thrown the last one away. The omega rapper looked at Jungkook and saw how he had just frozen completely. His eyes were wider than ever, and he looked like he was about to break.
“This is really serious,” Hoseok continued. “So, we need to be honest. Whose is this?”
Taehyung looked like he was about to throw up, and Yoongi could tell that his hold on Seokjin’s hand had tightened. The beta’s eyes fell to his boyfriend’s stomach, and he gulped anxiously.
It was then that Jungkook seemed to reanimate. “No...it’s mine.”
Namjoon’s mark flared, and he turned towards his boyfriend. The alpha’s hands were visibly shaking.
Jungkook let out a breath. “I haven’t been getting my period, and I was sick, so I-I got scared and went to Yoongi-hyung. He had his sister get me some home pregnancy tests.”
Namjoon shook his head in disbelief. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared, okay? I’m not ready to be a mom, and I was scared that telling you would make it real.”
Namjoon wrapped Jungkook in a tight hug, and it was Seokjin that spoke up next. “Did you take the tests?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook sighed. “I took all of them, and they were all negative.”
Namjoon let out the biggest sigh of relief that Yoongi had ever heard, pulling Jungkook in closer. “Thank god. I’m really not ready to be a parent either.”
Jungkook nodded and ducked his head into Namjoon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for not telling you.”
Namjoon shook his head, kissing the omega’s ear. “It’s okay,” he assured. “Just please tell me if something like this ever happens again.”
Jungkook nodded, and then it was silent for a moment. Everyone was catching their breath.
Yoongi was the one to break the silence. “So, yay, no one in here is having a kid.”
Jungkook laughed despite himself, pulling himself away from his alpha. “Yeah, thank god.”
“Gotta admit, Tae’s reaction was hilarious.”
Taehyung immediately squared his shoulders. “Hey!” he squawked indignantly. “I thought my boyfriend could be pregnant!”
“Still, you looked like you were about to sprint out the door,” Yoongi teased.
Taehyung settled a bit and huffed. “I can’t be a dad. No one deserves a dad like me.”
Seokjin’s eyes widened, and Yoongi gaped. Where had that come from?
Taehyung shook his head. “I’d make an awful father, Jin. I’m just a weirdo that freaks out at the most random times.”
“No,” Seokjin frowned, cupping his beta’s cheek. “Sweetie, you’d make such a good dad. Our babies would be so lucky.”
Taehyung just shook his head, and Yoongi didn’t like it. He didn’t like the idea of Taehyung feeling that way about himself.
He didn’t like the idea of any of his pack mates feeling that way about themselves.
Chapter 40: Taehyung III
Taehyung couldn’t feel the pill go down his throat. Maybe he could, but it was like it wasn’t his throat. He felt disconnected from his body.
Suddenly, there was a series of loud knocks on the bathroom door. “Come on, Tae, we’re going to be late!”
There were two vans when the men exited their apartment complex. Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jimin got into one, and Taehyung could tell that that one would be the quiet van for the day. Jimin had been sad and reserved lately, and Jungkook looked dead on his feet.
Yoongi was holding Hoseok’s hand as the alpha led him to the other car. Yoongi looked tired, but he had that fond smile on his face, the one that he only ever gave to his pack mates.
Then, there were arms wrapped around Taehyung’s waist, Seokjin’s arms. Again, the touch felt separate from him. Taehyung felt like he was a ghost observing the world.
He was dissociating.
Taehyung sighed as his lover directed him towards the van that Yoongi and Hoseok had gone into. Seokjin put an arm around him as soon as they sat down, but Taehyung just felt empty.
The pills were supposed to be working. The therapy was supposed to be working. Taehyung wouldn’t be spilling his guts to a stranger once a week if he hadn’t been assured that it would work. He was just so infuriated at the fact that nothing was working. Nothing was helping him.
As the day went on, Taehyung couldn’t shake his anger or his emptiness, and pretty soon he was holding up their dance practice because he just couldn’t get his body to move fast enough.
“Hey,” Namjoon said eventually, approaching Taehyung and squeezing his shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Now, that’s bullshit. Come on, Tae, what’s up?”
Taehyung huffed. “Nothing that can be fixed, hyung...just leave it. I’ll try to fix whatever’s going on with my body.”
“No, Taehyung. Something’s up.”
“And it can’t be fixed!” Taehyung spat. “I can’t be fixed, hyung!”
The air was heavy at that, but then fingers were wrapping around Taehyung’s elbows, and he was being pulled against a warm, sweaty chest.
Taehyung shook his head, and stubborn tears fell from his eyes. Seokjin held him tighter and kissed the back of his neck.
“Jin, I’m sweaty.”
Taehyung could feel Seokjin shake his head. “I don’t care, darling...talk to me...”
“Talk to us, Taehyung,” Yoongi added firmly. “None of us like seeing you like this.”
Taehyung let out a shaky breath.
“The pills aren’t working,” he lamented with an unstable voice. “The pills, the therapy...nothing’s working.”
Seokjin moved in front of Taehyung, fingers hooking under the beta’s chin. “Then we’ll go back to the doctor, and we’ll get you a different medication, or maybe just a bigger dose.”
“What if it’s me, Jinnie? What if I’m just always going to be broken?”
Seokjin cupped Taehyung’s face and made him look into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung, you are not broken. You’re hurting. That doesn’t mean you’re broken.”
Taehyung shook his head, and his lips quivered as more tears fell from his eyes. He could feel now, but he wished he couldn’t because it felt like someone was crushing his heart in their hands.
“I’m broken, Jinnie. I’m sorry. I’m broken.”
Seokjin pulled Taehyung in for a proper hug at that.
But nothing could take away the hurt from Taehyung’s heart.
Chapter 41: Jungkook VIII
Jungkook’s chest was heaving as Namjoon settled down next to him. The alpha proceeded to place open-mouthed kisses down the expanse of his boyfriend’s throat.
“Can I wake up like that every morning?” Jungkook laughed. Namjoon chuckled in return, and he sat up.
“It’s November second.”
Jungkook hummed. “That it is.”
“Happy anniversary, baby boy.”
Namjoon leaned in, but Jungkook pushed on his chest and stopped him. “Uh uh, I know where your mouth just was.”
Jungkook scoffed playfully. “I’m not about to kiss you when my fluids are all over your lips and tongue.”
Namjoon pouted. “But it’s our anniversary.”
“And you own a toothbrush,” Jungkook argued, pushing Namjoon away, standing, and pulling his sweatpants back up. “Come on. Brush your teeth, and I’ll return the favor in the shower.”
Namjoon quickly stood, and Jungkook giggled, kissing him on the cheek.
“Happy anniversary, Joonie.”
A while later, Namjoon and Jungkook exited the bathroom in their bathrobes. Namjoon was trying to kiss Jungkook everywhere he could reach, and Jungkook yelped, scurrying away happily.
Taehyung and Seokjin were making breakfast when the couple entered. Jungkook squealed as Namjoon picked him up and assaulted the side of the omega’s neck and face. Jungkook was so happy to be in Namjoon’s arms like this.
Seokjin smiled at them fondly, and Taehyung sighed. “Ah, yes, the one time of year where we aren’t the worst in terms of PDA.”
Namjoon chuckled. “You know it.”
Jungkook squeaked as Namjoon kissed him, hard. Soon, Namjoon was properly sticking his tongue down Jungkook’s throat. Taehyung made a disgusted sound.
“Come on, baby, we’re worse.”
Taehyung shook his head. “We’re hot.”
Jungkook pushed Namjoon away by his chest. “Calm down there, hot stuff. We’ve got all day.”
“And all night.”
Jungkook raised his eyebrow at Taehyung. “Like we can’t hear you both moaning at the top of your lungs at random times of the day.”
Taehyung shrugged. “Point taken.”
Seokjin shook his head fondly before placing two plates of food on the table. “Happy anniversary, you two.”
Namjoon and Jungkook both smiled brightly at their hyung.
The two of them spent the day in practice. Namjoon seemed to have an endless supply of flowers, as he gave Jungkook one each time they crossed paths. They’d posted about the day on social media as well, and they saw all the replies. It was nice.
Later on, they had a dinner date at an expensive, romantic restaurant, but right before that, they had a tradition to uphold.
The day that Namjoon and Jungkook had started dating, Jimin had taken a picture of them, of Namjoon carrying Jungkook bridal style. Each year, on their anniversary, they recreated it. Jimin was even always the one to take the picture.
Jungkook entered the living room, adjusting his cuff, but Namjoon swept him right off of his feet before he could even finish...literally.
“Hold on, you menace,” Jungkook sighed. “At least let me fix my clothes.”
Namjoon had a mischievous glint to his eyes. “I can’t stand not having my hands on you for a second.”
“Hmm...I bet you’re going to be insatiable tonight.”
“You’ve got that right.”
Then, Jimin spoke up. “Do you guys want me to take the picture, or...?”
“Yeah, right, sorry.”
As Jimin took the picture, Jungkook looked at Jimin, really looked at him. The alpha looked upset, somewhat subdued. It was like the room became less colorful around him. He looked tiny and borderline pitiful.
Namjoon put Jungkook back on the ground after the picture was taken, and the omega felt something settle at the pit of his stomach.
“Come on, baby, let’s go.”
Jungkook let himself be pulled out of the dorm, but the way Jimin had stood, the way he had breathed...
Something was wrong with him.
Chapter 42: Namjoon IX
“I’m going to the dance studio,” Jimin mumbled as he rushed past.
Namjoon caught his arm. “Hey, come on, eat dinner with us,” he said. “You definitely could use it.”
“I already ate. Bye.”
Jimin shrugged off Namjoon’s hand and scurried out of the dorm. The worst part was that Namjoon knew Jimin was lying. Jimin had been in his room the entire day. Hoseok had said that he hadn’t even been responding to his name.
Namjoon tried to let it go that night, but it happened over and over again over the next couple of weeks. Jimin sat down for meals with them maybe twice, and he was constantly going to the dance studio and practicing late into the night. Everyone noticed him losing weight and pulling away, but no one knew what to do.
Namjoon was clueless. It sounded bad, but Namjoon had been banking on Jimin being okay. Throughout the past few months, Jimin had consistently been the alright one. He’d been the only one that Namjoon hadn’t needed to worry about too much. Now, Jimin was going through something, and Namjoon didn’t know what to do. Putting every ounce of energy into six different people both individually and all at once was an impossible task. Taehyung was suicidal, Jungkook had abysmal self-confidence and too many insecurities to count, Seokjin was scared that Taehyung would die and leave him, Hoseok was scared of himself, Yoongi had been badly abused as a child, and now Jimin was going through something. All of them were hurting, but Namjoon couldn’t help them all at once.
Each member had something that they reverted to in times of stress, self-hatred, depression, and whatnot. Yoongi would exhaust himself mentally and hurt himself physically. He didn’t cut anymore, but he’d sometimes come home with nasty, nasty bruises. Jungkook would exercise, often to the point where it was unhealthy. Taehyung would start dissociating or just getting spacey in general. Sometimes it was unintentional, but he also did so intentionally in order to shield himself from his own emotions. Seokjin would cook elaborate recipes—a lot of them—and isolate himself from everyone but Taehyung. Hoseok would dance until his feet bled and then start cleaning if that didn’t work. Namjoon, himself, would focus entirely on work and constantly use lyrics and melodies to distract him. Jimin, though...Jimin had always used food as a way to subconsciously punish himself.
This hadn’t been the first time that Jimin had withered away like this. He’d done something very similar a couple years prior. He had lost enough weight to make him as fragile as a porcelain doll, and Seokjin had tried his hardest to get Jimin to eat, but the alpha hadn’t. Instead he’d fainted at countless practices and cried into the early morning nearly every night.
Jimin had come out of that by himself, but this time, Namjoon didn’t know if that could happen.
Jimin had never seemed so empty before.
Chapter 43: Yoongi VII
“Hyung, I know what you’re doing.”
Yoongi yawned, leaning back on the headboard. “And what is that?”
Hoseok shook his head slowly. Yoongi had been requesting that Hoseok share his bed ever since Hoseok had admitted to feeling like a danger. Of course, it had been to help reassure Hoseok at first, but Yoongi had come to really enjoy Hoseok’s presence in his bed. His salty scent was calming, and it made Yoongi feel safe and protected. Also, Yoongi had never thought that being held as he fell asleep would be such a nice feeling.
“You think that having me sleep with you every night is going to help convince me that I’m not dangerous,” Hoseok sighed.
“What? Do you not want to sleep with me?”
Hoseok immediately backtracked. “No! Of course I want to. I just...It’s not going to work. I...I hit you, hyung.”
“And the fact that you’re still hung up on it is proof that you’re a good guy,” Yoongi insisted. “If I wasn’t so fucked up, I would’ve hit you right back.”
Hoseok shook his head. He looked sad, like an upset puppy.
“Hyung, you’re not fucked up.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant. Relax, it’s not like with Tae. I just don’t have an easier word to describe it with. Fucked up encompasses all of my issues and stuff. Just easy to say.”
“You shouldn’t say that, though.”
“I shouldn’t do a lot of things that I do anyways,” Yoongi said challengingly.
Hoseok had the beginnings of a smile on his face, and Yoongi appreciated it. He appreciated a lot about Hoseok. Yoongi had never been good at expressing his feelings, but Hoseok was his rock, his energy. He could light Yoongi up like pretty fairy lights and knew just what to say to get Yoongi feeling good about himself. Hoseok was someone that he loved deeply, someone that he was terrified to ever let go of.
Yoongi snapped out of his thoughts and sighed, grabbing Hoseok’s hands in his. “Hoseok, you can work on managing anger. You can help yourself not do things like that in the future, but you can’t just dwell on this and let it make you feel this way. You’re not a danger. You’re my J-Hope. You’re the man that can brighten my day with just a smile, the man that can make me feel not so alone all the time. You’re so dear to me, and it hurts to see you feel so worthless because you’re not worthless, Hobi. You’re priceless.”
Hoseok gulped and looked down at their joined hands. Yoongi felt something stirring within him, a restlessness that lived deep in his bones. He needed Hoseok to see how special he was, how much he was worth, at least through Yoongi’s eyes.
“How can you say that, hyung? How can you say that to someone like me?”
And then, before Yoongi had time to think about it, he was kissing Hoseok. It was rough and messy and filled with raw passion, with Yoongi’s desperation.
Hoseok made a high-pitched sound of surprise before he started kissing back, reaching to tug on the hairs at the back of Yoongi’s head. Yoongi, honestly, had no idea what he was feeling. It was so soft, airy, and light. It was like Hoseok was a flame and Yoongi was a candle because the alpha was setting him on fire. Yoongi would happily burn in Hoseok’s hands. He’d happily crumble right into his lap.
Yoongi was breathing like he’d almost drowned when he pulled away, but he just kept a hand on the back of Hoseok’s neck, slightly too long fingernails scratching against the soft skin. Their foreheads were still together, and Yoongi felt like he’d die if he moved farther away from the man before him.
“That’s how,” Yoongi panted. “Now shut up and kiss me this time.”
There was only a millisecond before Hoseok did as told, but in that millisecond, a bright smile overtook his face. It was gorgeous.
Yoongi and Hoseok kissed for a long time, but eventually, Hoseok started to try and talk against Yoongi’s lips.
“What’s going on?”
Yoongi took in a breath before going back in. “What do you mean?”
Hoseok shivered at the breathy, sultry tone of Yoongi’s voice, but the omega just kept kissing.
“What does this make us?”
Yoongi pulled away at that, pulled away properly. He stopped touching Hoseok in every way and moved back a bit on the bed. He’d snapped out of the spell Hoseok had cast on him and realized just what he had done.
Yoongi shook his head. “I don’t...I’m not good at this...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I can’t—I’m not strong enough for the feelings I have. It’s...I’m so sorry.”
“Hey,” Hoseok soothed, moving towards the omega and caressing his cheek. “Don’t do that...whatever is holding you back, forget it. What do you feel with me?”
Yoongi gulped. “I...I don’t know, light? No, it’s like, you’re the light, or maybe...I really don’t know. Nothing makes sense...my heart’s all jumbled, and the only clear thing it’s saying right now is your name.”
Hoseok smiled at that, and Yoongi really felt like kissing him again.
“Then be my boyfriend,” Hoseok proposed. “Because my heart’s been screaming your name ever since I first met you.”
Hoseok shushed the omega before him. “We can go as slow as you need, hyung. We both have issues, but we can help each other work through them. I just really want to hold your hand, kiss you, and call you sweet little pet names.”
Yoongi sighed. In a way, he’d always expected something like this. He’d always felt that Hoseok was special, that he would end up meaning something more than the others. It had been a wonder that Yoongi had lasted this long before kissing the breath out of him.
What was the point of fighting it?
“Okay,” Yoongi nodded. “It’s always been hard for me to express my feelings, you know that, but...but I can try this.”
Hoseok’s face was soon split into the biggest smile that Yoongi had ever seen, and Yoongi couldn’t resist him anymore. He immediately kissed him again. This time, though, Yoongi laid back on the pillows. Hoseok was on top of him now, and Yoongi couldn’t hold back the low rumble that came from his chest as Hoseok continued to kiss him.
“You better buckle up, handsome,” Yoongi panted into Hoseok’s mouth. “I’m a bit of a bumpy ride...You know I’ve always been an emotional roller coaster.”
Hoseok chuckled. “I can’t wait.”
“But you hate roller coasters.”
“No,” Hoseok shook his head, running his hands over Yoongi’s soft cheeks. “I definitely don’t hate this one.”
Chapter 44: Hoseok VI
Hoseok gulped as he knocked on the door. It had been a while since he asked for guidance like this.
Hoseok hesitantly stepped into Namjoon’s studio. Namjoon didn’t even spare the other alpha a glance when he walked in, but he always did that sort of thing. He always tried to work through disruptions that were minor.
Namjoon hummed, and Hoseok took in a breath. “Can I...can I talk to you about something?”
Namjoon finally looked back at the other rapper, and Hoseok watched as the concern bled into his expression.
“Sure, just let me save this.”
Once Namjoon’s track was saved, the two men sat together on the small couch in the corner of the room. Namjoon was obviously searching Hoseok and trying to find the cause of his distress. Hoseok was a little uncomfortable, but he knew that that was just how Namjoon had always worked.
“How’s the mixtape going?” Hoseok asked softly, trying to ease the two of them into a conversation.
“It’s going well,” Namjoon replied with a nod. “I’m happy with it so far...so...what’s up? What did you want to talk about?”
Hoseok let out a breath. “I...When you and Jungkook started dating, what...what did it feel like?”
“Like, how did you feel about him?”
Namjoon pursed his lips and shrugged. “I guess it was a bit confusing at first. I knew that he was beautiful and that being with him felt nice, but there were these weird feelings in my chest that took forever to settle into something I could actually comprehend.”
Hoseok let out a sigh of relief. These confusing, jumbled feelings were normal. They’d go away eventually, and then he’d be like Namjoon and Jungkook. Then, he’d feel all sweet and calm. He wouldn’t feel so restless forever.
“Thank god,” Hoseok joked a little.
Then, there was a hand on his arm. Hoseok looked into Namjoon’s eyes and saw a question in them. He knew what it was before Namjoon could even voice it.
“Hoseok, do you have feelings for someone?”
Hoseok nodded, and Namjoon looked thoughtful. Hoseok couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Is it Yoongi-hyung?”
Hoseok was shocked. “What? How did you know? Am I really that obvious?”
Namjoon chuckled. “Kind of,” he shrugged. “But you both are. The way you look at him and the way he looks at you reminds me of the way Jungkook looks at me.”
Hoseok couldn’t help but smile a little at that, but the smile soon fell as his nerves returned.
“Um...I asked him to be my boyfriend.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened. “Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Well...he sort of attacked me with his lips beforehand.”
It was then that Namjoon started to properly laugh. It made Hoseok feel relieved. Namjoon seemed supportive. He seemed happy for them.
“God, why is hyung like this?” Namjoon sighed.
Hoseok let out a little laugh, himself. “I don’t know...but I like it.”
The two men laughed together a bit, but then the serious mood caught up with them, and Hoseok felt a little lost. He wasn’t confident in himself when it came to his feelings for others. He didn’t have a level head, and he didn’t know how to be all boyfriend-like, like Namjoon and Jungkook or Seokjin and Taehyung were with each other. Everything was so confusing, and he just really didn’t want to mess it up.
“Namjoon, I’m scared,” Hoseok admitted. “He’s just...he’s been hurt so much, and I just...I don’t know if I can trust myself to not hurt him again. I’d never be able to live with myself if I broke his heart.”
Namjoon put his arm over Hoseok’s shoulders. “He trusts you, Hobi. And this may be hard, but if you two really care for each other, if you two are really meant to be with each other, then you’ll find a way. Love always finds a way.”
Hoseok nodded, and Namjoon leaned his head against his. It was comforting. Hoseok could always rely on Namjoon to comfort him in his time of need.
“I wonder what the PDA between you two will be like.”
Hoseok laughed. “Based on what happened the other night, he’ll probably just get worked up and pounce on me at random times.”
“That will be the weirdest, most hilarious thing to see, I’m not even going to lie.”
Hoseok just sighed wistfully. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter 45: Seokjin VII
Seokjin rushed to Jimin’s room as soon as he felt the growing, throbbing pain in his bicep. Jimin was hurt. Seokjin and Jimin had been sent home early from practice, and so they were the only ones home. Seokjin was the only one that could help him.
Jimin curled up in a ball beneath his duvet, and he was shaking, so Seokjin immediately approached.
“Jimin-ah, are you alright?”
Jimin flinched at his voice, and a sob broke out from his lips. Suddenly, he was wailing and hiccuping, and it sounded so painful. It sounded like he couldn’t breathe.
“Jimin,” Seokjin tried again, but Jimin still just shook, so the omega pulled the blanket away.
Jimin’s eyes were borderline insane, and every part of his body was twitching violently. Seokjin tried touching him, but the alpha actually screamed when his hyung got close. He wasn’t breathing right. Jimin was hyperventilating.
“Min, come on, it’s okay. Just breathe. Breathe for hyung.”
Seokjin’s phone was vibrating in his pocket, but he ignored it. He just let it ring. Jimin needed his full attention. Something really wrong was happening.
Suddenly, Jimin started retching, and Seokjin caught his thrashing shoulders as he vomited all over his bed. Seokjin just did his best to keep Jimin’s face out of it, to keep him from choking.
As he watched his beloved little brother squirm and cry harder than he’d ever seen anyone do before, Seokjin found himself tearing up. His heart was shattering.
“Please, Jimin, please. Calm down. Just listen to me.”
It was useless because soon Jimin stopped shaking, and his body went limp.
Seokjin put his fingers against Jimin’s neck and let out a sigh of relief when he could still feel a pulse. Jimin was just unconscious.
Seokjin grabbed his phone and declined a call from Namjoon before calling for an ambulance.
“What’s your emergency?”
“Hello,” Seokjin inhaled shakily. “My name is Kim Seokjin, and I need an ambulance. M-my pack mate needs an ambulance. He...he has a pulse, but he’s unconscious, and he was throwing up and shaking and screaming, and he wouldn’t let me touch him, a-and...he needs a doctor.”
“Listen, sir, please calm down,” the operator soothed. “I can send an ambulance to help your friend. Just tell me where you are.”
Seokjin told the operator their address and then went along with everything they said. Throughout the entire ordeal, he was shaking, and he didn’t know what to do. He’d always known what to do before, but Jimin was lying unconscious in a pile of his own vomit. Jimin was in trouble.
For once, Seokjin was absolutely clueless.
Chapter 46: Jungkook IX
Jungkook and Taehyung each held one of Jimin’s hands as the alpha sat on the hospital bed. Jimin had woken up, and he’d seemed anxious the entire time that they had all been in the hospital.
“Mr. Park, for starters, you are severely underweight,” Dr. Lee said sternly. “I understand that you’re an idol, but this is too far.”
Jungkook inhaled sharply, and Namjoon shook his head. “I assure you, Doctor, Jimin was never instructed to lose this much weight.”
The doctor nodded. “Alright. More importantly, though, the cause of this affliction, all the depression and anxiety that you discussed with the psychiatrist? That’s due to a severe lack of pheromones and affection from those close to you.”
Jungkook felt a hot flush spread across his face. Jimin had been lacking affection? Had he not felt loved enough? How could Jungkook just let him feel so alone? Jimin had always been there for him, and this was how Jungkook repaid him?
Jimin furrowed his brow. “What?”
Dr. Lee sighed, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. “See, Jimin, you’re an alpha, a single alpha in a pack at that. Without the scents of those close to you or physical and emotional affection from them, your brain stops making the serotonin it needs. Alphas have the evolutionary instinct to protect those close to them. Because of this, a lack of physical or emotional assurance that your loved ones are with you causes you to feel abandoned or unsafe. It makes your brain mourn them, in a way.”
Jimin ducked his head in understanding, and Jungkook and Taehyung both squeezed his hands. Jungkook felt like crying right there. They had caused this?
When the doctor left, Jimin remained silent. Jungkook immediately sat behind the alpha on the bed, hugging him tightly. He couldn’t help the tears that stung his eyes. He couldn’t let go of Jimin now. He had before, and it had caused such pain.
“Kook,” Jimin said softly, but Jungkook just shook his head against Jimin’s back.
“No...I’m never letting go again.”
Jungkook’s tears were hot as they fell from his eyes, and soon there was a hand on his shoulder.
“Baby, come on.”
“No,” Jungkook sniffled. “No, I can’t let go. I have to...I can’t let him forget that I love him.”
“I know you love me,” Jimin mumbled. “All of you.”
Yoongi sat on the bed in front of Jimin, right where the doctor had before. He had that cool, stoic expression on his face.
“Why didn’t you tell us, kid?” Yoongi sighed. “If you’ve been needing more attention, more love from us, why didn’t you say anything?”
Jimin shrugged. “You guys are all together...it’s just three couples and me.”
“Wait. Yoongi, Hoseok...you two are together?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Later, hyung. This is about Jimin.”
Seokjin sighed and rubbed at his temples. Jungkook was still just holding onto Jimin, trying to make sure that Jimin wouldn’t leave, that Jimin would be okay.
“Jimin, we’re a pack,” Hoseok sighed. “You’re just as much a part of this pack as the rest of us. You’re just as important.”
“We love you, Jimin,” Namjoon added. “Without you, we wouldn’t be the same. We need you, and we just want you happy and cared for.”
“It’s okay, hyung,” Jimin mumbled. “I get it. You and Jungkook are each other’s first priority. The same can be said about Taehyung and Seokjin-hyung and now Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok-hyung. I’m no one’s first priority because I’m not in love. Love like that shouldn’t be tampered with.”
Seokjin shook his head resolutely. “You don’t tamper with anything,” he insisted. “I love you just as much as I love Taehyung. It’s a different kind of love, but it’s love, and when I found you like you were at the dorm, I was just as terrified as I was when I found out that Taehyung had attempted suicide. You’re my little brother, Jimin.”
Jungkook sniffled again and leaned in to whisper into Jimin’s ear.
“We love you so much, Jiminie. Please don’t forget that.”
Jimin reached a hand out behind him in order to comfort Jungkook, and the omega melted into his touch, his trust so pure and complete. He loved and trusted Jimin so much.
And he would show him that, no matter what.
Chapter 47: Jimin VI
Jimin was sitting in the living room, watching TV, when Yoongi and Hoseok came in. Jimin could see just how much closer they had gotten—at least physically—since they had become boyfriends. Hoseok was dragging Yoongi by his hand with a bright voice and even brighter smile, and Yoongi was looking at Hoseok with a certain fire in his eyes. That look made Jimin a little uncomfortable...considering that that was his hyung.
“What’s up, angel?” Hoseok hummed, shaking his head. “You weren’t even paying att—“
And suddenly, Hoseok was being pushed against a wall as Yoongi stuck his tongue down the alpha’s throat. Jimin was a little alarmed and very uncomfortable. He’d seen his other friends kiss so much that it had become commonplace, but this was still very new, and Jimin felt weird seeing how the two of his hyungs behaved when they got a bit hot and bothered.
Yoongi pulled away with a heaving chest. “Call me that again.”
And then they were back to making out.
Jungkook walked right past the kissing couple with a smirk on his face, but then he proceeded to plop himself down onto Jimin’s lap. Jimin’s hands immediately went to the maknae’s back and knees. Jungkook just sighed, though.
“So, Yoongi-hyung’s totally a power bottom.”
Jimin’s face flushed, and he sputtered. “Jeon Jungkook!”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Don’t get so flustered, Jimin, it’s just sex.”
“Well, unlike you, I don’t have sex at least three times a week, so I’m not nearly as desensitized towards it as you are.”
“Oh, trust me,” Jungkook giggled. “I’m not desensitized at all. I still remain very sensitive.”
Jimin made a sour face. “That’s absolutely disgusting.”
Jungkook shrugged, but then the smirk fell from his face, and he snuggled into Jimin, his face dipping into the alpha’s neck. He wasn’t scenting him, just inhaling the scent of cedar from Jimin’s neck, as if that was all he needed to be happy. Jimin couldn’t resist running his hand through Jungkook’s fluffy hair.
“How are you feeling, hyung?” Jungkook mumbled into Jimin’s shirt.
The alpha sighed. “Better...seems like I wouldn’t even be able to be lonely if I tried. Namjoon-hyung would just burst through the door with a fluffy blanket and tea and demand to watch a drama with me.”
“Didn’t he do that yesterday?”
Jimin chuckled. “That’s exactly my point.”
Jungkook laughed a little before beginning to actually scent Jimin, and the alpha sighed in contentment. This was what he had been missing. Throughout the past few days, his pack had been nearly smothering him with affection. He’d been basking in all of the cuddling and scenting, savoring it because it was only a matter of time before the pack dynamic would go back to normal, with Jimin being everyone’s last priority.
It was only a matter of time before the entire cycle started again.
Eventually, a little after Yoongi and Hoseok had stopped making out, the newly formed couple sat on the couch with Jimin and Jungkook. They sat on either side of the younger members, but their hands and arms were linked on the couch behind Jimin’s back. Hoseok ended up leaning into Jimin and spooning Jungkook slightly, and Jimin ended up leaning on Yoongi’s shoulder. It was nice, cozy.
Jimin just hoped that it would last a bit longer.