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To Kill a Sunbird's Song

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"No fucking way. You CAN'T be serious." Chloe's chest was weak, like it had been pelted with a stone.

 

"Chloe, I don't like the way you're talking to me. David and I, we've been together for a while. I'd like for us to be more serious with our relationship. We've been planning the wedding for a while." Joyce is always very soft with her voice, but she sure could blaze a fire with her words.

 

"A while? What, so behind my back?!" Chloe disputed.

 

"Don't yell so much, young lady." Joyce turned back to work on flipping pancakes in her pan, ensuring that nice and fluffy texture that they always had. The best around, in fact.

 

"Mom! You can't be serious-! Some... asswipe, is going to come permanently into my life, control me, and then just... make you take his name?!" Chloe was livid.

 

 "Chloe, don't call him that."

 

"What about piss-head?!"

 

"Chloe. Enough." Joyce turned off the stove after making the last of the pancakes, transferring the breakfast onto a large plate. "I don't want to hear anymore of that kind of language or tone." She slowly shook her head, putting the pan into the sink to wash up later.

 

Chloe groaned in disbelief. First it was the stupid cat. Then it was her father. Then Max. Rachel... And this was what she got?! Thanks, earth, for further adding to the fuck fest.

 

"David is a great man. And his family also invited us to join them on a dinner trip sometime. I only hope that you'll attend the wedding," Joyce suggested, bringing the plate of pancakes over to the dining table. 

 

"Only if I'm stupid enough," Chloe muttered under her breath out of the hearing of her mother.

 

You chose HIM over me… I never thought in a million years… Mom, don’t you even care about how I feel?!

 

… It’s never about me. It’s about mom.

 

"Are you having eggs and pancakes?"

 

Chloe crossed her arms. "I'm not hungry." She lost her appetite ever since David existed.

 

"Well, that's a damn shame. I made the eggs scrambled and poached, so you can choose which one you'd like today. With ketchup too, I know that’s your favorite.”

 

Chloe sighed. She wanted to hear no more of this. Thus, she left the kitchen, heading up to her room.

 

Why does that fuck-face have to ruin everything?

 

Chloe Madsen… Fuck that.

 

You will NEVER be my father!

 

Are you seeing this right now, dad? 

 

Can you believe this?

 

Chloe shut her door once she had retreated into the hideaway of her room, wishing that she still had her stash before it had been confiscated. She would be head over heels for some nice weed about now.

 

Max, if you can see me right now… would I even be as important as your photos?

 

You LEFT me for some stupid…-!

 

She gripped her head as she lay down on her bed, sighing heavily.

 

It’s never about me.

 

It’s always about mom.

 

Dad would’ve done the same; he loved her. Mom was… happy.

 

The same happy she looks with David. That, bastard-...

 

She gripped her hair, pulling it slightly until she could feel the roots be strained.

 

It’s never about me.

 

It’s about Max, and how she feels wanting to go and move away.

 

It’s never about me.

 

It’s about Rachel, and I…

 

You were my angel, Rachel.

 

And now you’re GONE the same as Max. You and Max should go get married, wherever you both are. You’re a perfect couple, the LEAVE CHLOE BEHIND gang and rejoice in a dance of FUCK CHLOE!

 

Her breath staggered, lungs suffocating.

 

I wish I was in that car crash.

 

Would you have been happier, mom? Being with someone who ISN’T a douchebag?! Someone who doesn’t treat children like military soldiers?!

 

I am NOT going to salute to David.

 

David can go burn wrapped up in the flag.

 

No soldiers will be stationed in my house without my consent.

 

And I DON’T consent to him being in my house!

 

I matter too!

 

I…

 

Chloe paused, her mind going blank. She knew otherwise; with how life treated her, she mattered little. It was… why Max left, why Rachel left, why dad left, and why… her mother… 

 

She was going to be happy.

 

She seemed so… happy.

 

Even just talking about David, she smiles so bright.

 

Dad used to be able to do that.

 

I was able to do that. Before dad died. Now? She just… I’m a nuisance to her.

 

Listen up, punk ass. You should have been in that crash. Not dad.

 

She took a few moments more to gaze at her ceiling.

 

It doesn’t matter what YOU want. It doesn’t work like that.

 

I want… someone to LISTEN to me.

 

Why does everybody-?!

 

Oh Chloe, I took a thousand pictures, and none of them would say when I would LEAVE!

 

Oh Chloe, thanks for helping me find my mother, now I’m going to LEAVE.

 

Expelled… and I hear that new opening at Blackwell is being preyed on by David.

 

You want to know how to break a happy family apart?! Just get David! He has a handy-dandy toolbox to do it all!

 

… Get a grip, asshole. Was anybody even happy since dad died?

 

If people say this is happiness, I don’t want to know what madness looks like.


Chloe knew that she could head out later, once the breakfast period had cooled. She knew she could go to the junkyard, to Frank's, to the lighthouse, or anywhere she pleased with no care in the world. But, what then, would become of the fractures in her shambled life?